The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1901-09-27

Kansas wants to be counted on for
her share ofthe proposed fund of 81 600
600 to erect Mckinley Memorial Arch
in Washington,
Emma Goldman, once pretty, is now
a bloated liquor iend. Mrs. Nation
is a liquor hater. Why not lock the
two up in a room and let them settle
accounts.
A German professor has recently
laid down the proposition that mon
keys are descended from man, and not
the reverse. So the theory about Mrs.
Nation must be revised.
A hard luck story comes from
| Washburn where football player got
so nearly killed in a practice game
that he cannot participate in any of
the college games and get killed.
The Salina Republican is grinning
ghoulishly over the rivalry between
South Carolina and Georgia over the
birthplace of the negro Parker, who
felled Czolgosz. 1t is funny, too.
Beloit Times: We asked Dan
O'Rourke, just recently married.
whether a certain person was ever
married? 81 guess so' said Dan, "he
gave me the sign of distress the other
day"
Vic Murdoch says Johnny Ontland,
the new coach of the X. U. football
team, is hardening his men thor
oughly, even to the extent of beating
them with clubs ito callous their eye
lids"
An Arkansas City merchant attract
ed crowds by rigging up dummy in
an electric chair in his window.
The dummy represented Czolgosz and
the sparks of electricity made it jump
and witch.
There was a peculiar wreck on the
Rock Island near Lawrence. -Four
cars of lumber and one of beer we're
telescoped. Needless to say all the
booze had a stick in it when the wreck
was cleared.
AS the editor of Western Life sat
and eats watermelon with his elbows
on his knees, letting the juice and
seeds fall between hisknees. hethought
out an editorial that it was foolish to
envy women.
A. c. Courtney, discharged mem
Der of the 22nd Illinois, was sand bag
ged on the railroad near Oswego and
/, robbed of $500 in gold and $500 In cur
rency. Some anti-imperialist prob
ably did the deed.
The Madison Index and News com
bined. One was Republican and the
other Populist. The combination says
both sides can use its columns at adj
vertising rates and mo politician
shall get free puff.
Kansas is always informed, says
the Emporia Gazette. 1t is reported
of a Kansas man that he accosted ST..
Peter with, Hello. Pete. Shake
hands with Joe Brown, Santa Fe
agent from my town."
Mandy Clifton, of Chanute, didn't
like the location of telephone pole
in her back yard and took an axe and
cut it down. Although it was evil
IDENTIFY an aX-ident shew fined $40 for
working SO hard.
One thing that endeared Mckinley
to Kansans was his simplicity. And
it is not surprising to learn that his
Canton home is the iirsthe ever owned,
that he owned the house where his
mother lived and that he saved good
part of his salary as president.
The Herald says that Newton bach
e.or, 43 years old, took a girl
home from the merry go-round and it
was the first time he ever kept com
panyn with one of thefair SEX What
a man misses who waits till the night
air gives him rheumatism before be-
ginning sparkling!
Neighbor ladies in Topeka quarreled
over the common hydrapt they had to
use and red headed Mrs. Burns emptied
pan of dishwater on the other lady.
Others besides the Topeka political
: correspondents seem able TO originate
things.
G. r. Burke, thrown into the Tope-
ka jail for disloyal remarks was
"kangarooed" by the other prisoners.
He was laid across a box and six
: teen lashes with three foot hose laid
: on. ingalls, was right, IAN anarchist
, will be an alien in hell.
Ed Davis of Minneapolis, ought to
work on a passenger train he is so
good conductor. Lightning struck
his buggy, ierked the tires off the
! was able to stand up and cuss his
/ luck az losing his horse.
An idea of what the wheat crop
means to Kansas may be gained from
the statement in the Topeka Capital
that the little town of Ada shipped %
cars of wheat TO Topeka that meant
, between $500 and $1,000 each to the
people of Ada. Ada is so small
engineers have to look twice to tell
when to blow their whistles.
The metropolitan press speaks of
Emma Goldman as goodlooking, but
the Pittsburg Headlight recalls that
she visited that town a few years ago.
She was then "blear-eyed, dissipated
and spent most of her time talking
, cockney slang and drinking beer in