Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1901-07-11
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and planked his boot heel
down on the desk, crushing the ink
bottle. People in this country don't
know what hot day is
Now, Uncle Bill, draw it little bit
mild, for / am under the impression
that this is pretty warm day" said
the editor as he turned around his
chair, so as to get a look at Uncle
Bits face instead of his boot
"Oh, it may be hot enough ter day,
fer this country, only was sayin' that
people here in this climate don't know
what hot weather is.
Where have you ever experienced
it any hotter than you have right here
in this vicinity" asked the editor.
IF | had never bin anywhere else
but here, there might be sum sense in
yer askin' that durn fool question,
young feller," said Uncle Bill as he
tried to pigeonhole his boot "but yer
must remember that I've Travelled
blessed nigh over this ere country an
| knows few things that sum NV the
people in Shake Rag never heerd tell
Nv"
ooh, l know that, Uncle Bill" said
the editor. "but we are always pleased
to hear of your experiences.
wall, the people are always well
come ter hear bout my experiences.
One reason | never tell more Nv EN- is,
people what has never seen enything
themselves. always imagines feller's
lyin' when he relates eny NV his expert
ences. put that's heather here nor
there. What I've gone through would
make sum NV these mossbacks round
here go right up in smoke, that is,
when it comes ter hot weather expert
ence."
When I come to think of it, Uncle
Bill, you have travelled a great deal,
and, of course, have been in some pref
ty warm climes,' said the editor as he
pulled his cigar and leaned back for
one of Uncle Bits yarns. He could
depend upon one now, as he had given
the necessary start.
1T was back in the war NV the COS
when was down South, that see sum
hot stuff in the way of weather" said
Uncle Bill, IAN l wants ter tell yer,
right then was when it was hot Some
Of these tender feet round here what
calls this weather hot would have
roasted alive If they'd bin in that war"
How did you stand it, yourself, I'M
Gle Bill. and the many thousands more
who were in that warp
'Oh, they jest hardened us right
down ter it, till we got so we could set
the brush atire when we walked
through it jest from the heat Nv our
bodies"
What, you do not presume upon
my believing any such nonsense as
that, do you?"
ITS a fact. Mr.. Editor. I've seen
fellers jest melt an go all in heap an
lots NV 'em melted an run down ter
their feet an that's why they has such
big feet, them darkeys down thar, they
sort NV mushed up an it settled in
their feet an then it got cooler agin
an that's why yer see so much NV 'em
turned up inter feet"
We'll I shall have to question that
assertion, Uncle Bill you are getting
that a little too strong for me to be-
lieve"
Question it? NV course. yer will.
What have yer ever seen enyhow, yer
may be good judge on gossip an
kin tell the news NV Shake Rag in yer
paper, but when it Gums ter KNOWN
enything bout hot day yer amt got
hand worth tryin' ter fill"
When was the hottest day you ever
experienced, Uncle Bill?"
Let me see-wall. twas back in 63,
yeup, that's when it was. Yer see we
got inter skirmish that day, an it
was so gosh durn hot. that the bullets
melted fast as we could shoot 'em out
Nv the guns. an
Hold on! Uncle Bill
yer kin jest hold on yersef |
know whaot I'm talkin' bout. Why,
even the cannon balls melted that day,
fast as they was shot an the next day
we went out an gethered up lot NV
long iron bars, enough ter fix the rail-
road what the enemy had torn up,
an"
Halt there. old soldier am afraid
we will have to get the insane com
missioners to look after you: that is
too big lie for any sane man to tell"
"Oh, Jest cause yer never see eny-
thing, don't set back there in yer con-
ceit an think every one else is the
same. Yer may have seen water boil.
an possibly yer have hooked UP ter
the bizness end NV hornet but when
II Gums ter hot weather yer innocent
Why, gee whizZ. il was so not that day
we killed some chickens an all we had
ter do ter cook 'em was ter dip 'em
inter the creek an hold 'em there fer
bout five minutes an they was cook
ed, an then yer set there an pertend
ter know when it's hot. Why, there
was Teller down town, as told me
that yer told every one yer met last
week that it was hot, an then yer had
ter print 1t in yer paper, ter git folks
ter believe yer"
Il pass, Uncle Bill: guess | don't
know much about hot weather after
all | am too exciteable to Judge"
Wall, Teller ter stand a real hot
day, has got ter keep cool, cause IL
yer go ter gittin' hot with 1t. yer sort
Nv pies yer ideas. an speakin' bout
keepin cool reminds me NV IS, time NV
the Charleston earthquake. | was
down there at the time an the propri
etor NV the Pervillion hotel showed
fellers the way ter keep cool il excit-
in times"
How was that. Uncle Rillp" asked
the editor glad to let go of the hot
weather argument