The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-03-17

then when he sees youns coming he tunt
~ TO bed and squealed lik a hog and got
MS oman to fan him the while youns was
there TO see him, as soon as youns
went away he junt out OF bed and went to
his work and he is a we'll man up to this
day."
II is fortunate that the man who in
scrloed the two following complaints, both
reierring TO the same pensioner, leans to-
ward orevity In his style, for the effort
required to decipher such an amazing
combination of bad spelling with poor pen
manship and a supreme disregard Of
punctuation and capital letters, is a SUM-
Client trial to the most experienced clerk
The Comishner at Washington to the
Penshin Dep
thlnk - - - Is Drawing OF a
uneigal Bhensbine believe he has bin a
adnandassisten (aidlng and assIsting) the
wild caters in their vilations of the gov
eminent Laws"
The Comishner OF the Penshion we
think - - is a Drawing of an unleigal
Penshion he sed that he wood help the
Wild Caters out of ther Vilastion II Il
Costed him all he Had and he Could get
and we wish to Let you all know that no
said this is true l Can Prove this and
when we Came to the test we can Proove
more than that Your Trula,
| Another worthy citizen, resigned but
| cheerful In the consciousness OF faithfully
performing a duty, gives abundant evil
| dence that certain lAwless characters in
his vicinity are receiving pensions for
disabilities not contracted in the mil
tary service. He asserts that So -
and - - goes fishing miles to the
River every day all summer. grape wine
and wichious hsbets," thus conveying a
dark hint that grape wine and wichious
habets" are responsible for the pensioned
ailments. On investigation such charges
are often proved to have no other founda-
ton than personal malice or envy.
Some of the addresses in the Pension
Bureaus mail are even more curious
than the letters themselves. The promis-
cuous American use OF the prefix Mr."
has made 1t possible for one man to adj
dress his communication to Mr.. Pension
Department, Washington, d. c." which Is
not more or ginal however, than this super
scription, ~. s. Statutes, Penchon Offic."
An envelope worthy OF special regard
for It's unpleasant suggestiveness reads:
Punching Department, Washingtong, d.
c. and a correspondent from South Car
DINA addresses the present commissioner
as Mr.. Evans, Governor OF the United
States"
One feels compelled to admire the clev-
erness Of the postoffice clerks who rightly
handed over to the Bureau OF Pensions LETT
ters addressed as follows:
Washington, d. c.
"U. s. d. o. te cor; mishingblors."
and this:
Commissioner Clay, Columbus, Ohio"
The Commissioners title is variously
modified to Keeper" Proprietor" or
Head Man" OF the Pension once. Here
l. -1A L..
addressing Commissioner Evans:
III. Clay Evans, Pension General"
Evans & Co." SOLDIERS Attorney
Evans" "evans, penchant agent" Henry
C. Ivens, General Comision Agent" "Sec-
ritary Penson Buro," and even this, "jen
hon Conditioner OF pensions" zen" is
presumably to be translated General"
and "hon,' of course. stands for 1.-THE
Honorable" Another man directs his re-
quest TO "comitioners" In the plural, ev-
identity in the belief that their name Ia
legion. A correspondent from Pennsyl-
wanna literally covered his envelope with
these directions:
Mr.. Evins,
Comlsher on pinsh.
Washington City
Co
"co Ensecptors, Pension Once"
Burow," are characteristic efforts. II is
evident that the man who inscribed the
following address reproduced faithfully
thereon a portion Of the printed notice on
the government penalty envelope sent him
by his congressional representative:
Bureau OF Pension.
Washington d. c.
NJ. @. Oficial Business.
Penalty for Private.
A singular superscription, the full inn
port OF which Is still Surrounded In mys-
terry. Is;
"washenton
"Penchen ONO
Is. t.
And yet IT is possibly not more sstonlsh-
ing than this one:
Washington d. c.
ito the pcntion department terror"
a brief. but novel method, of expressing
Pension once, Interior Department"
The fact that all Of the business OF I'm
Gle Sans executive departments Is not
transacted IN one building would proba-
bly, be a source OF wonder 10 the men
who directed their envelopes thus:
~. 8. Penshen Burea, Y. s. Capitol
washington City Of D. G.
ITO the SECRETARY OF Ware"
washington ID. G.
ITO the Treasure Department OF War"
and
"Mr. McKiley
THE Pension once"
Carefully crowded into the corner OF an
ODD looking envelope Is the entire I'D
dress. General psnshion offis, Washing
ton, 4. C." one feels inclined 20 wonder
what could have boen the writer's mot w.
IN leaving ~ much blank space. a Cali
lfornla man recently requested fGme M
formation from the "comelneer Of PEN
sl0Desers"