The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1901-10-04
| ONlCe.
| BURKE
| BUILDING
STORIES OF The STREET
a Few Good Ones That Caused
Ripples of Laughter When Re-
lated-Policeman Jacks Troubles

One of the stories of the week that
Is the source of merriment and hearty
laughs wherever 1t Is repeated Is AT
tho expense of Carbondalian VINO
was an interested visitor at the Wayne
county fair in Honesdale last week.
TIE man who has to stand for all
the laughs is one of the capital jokerH
Of the town. aud many a time lie has
chroniclcd funny happenings OF his
friends. He was at the fair. as men,
toned above. and was on the alert to
let nothing pass that might create IL
laugh Tor himself and his companions.
In front of ono of the exhibits was Il
Wayne county rustic froV Damascus
or bethany. He was gazing In OPEN
inouthed wonder at the sights on every
hand and looked just like subject
10 suit the occasion. But Farmer John
knew his little book. even if his whis-
kcrs looked like uncut Timothy.
Great Scott exclaimed the Car
bondalc joker. 'what have we got
here" as he played with the fringe on
the Wayne county mans face and pre-
tended to squeeze potato bugs from
them.
Look at them; great Scott as he
jumped around to stamp them out AS
they Crawled about the ground round
the farmers feet.
Then the climax came. The laugh
had been OH the Wayne county inhabi-
tant up to this time. but he switched
the laughs by shooting out n Terry
McGovcrn that sent the Carbondale
joker almost to kingdom come. There
We're no more potato bugs to be
laughed at: the funny man gave way
to the tragedian; the latter became the
hero of the hour. and the other fell
low picked himself up and went be-
hind the grand stand to bolster up
story to meet the guying of his friends
who felt that they had received their
moneys worth. even if they couldn't
see Levi Patterson's horse win the
day.
"Polceman Jack" the wise doggie.
Is again contributing to the fun of the
evenings in the restaurants about
town.
Jack" has just returned from May
field Yard, where he put up with the
railroad men for several weeks. until
they began to cut down his rations and
tried to coax him to MUNICH on coup
ling pins. washery coal and railroad
spikes. Then Jack" drew the line. He
was too much of a Bohemian and had
TOO high a standing in Carhondale's
Bohemian circle to be treated thusly.
There isn't anything too good for
Jack when he scanpers into a res
taurant dining room and proceeds to
do a caIie-walk of JOY with his abbre-
Waited tail, on recognizing a friendly
group of newspaper men and others
who may he eating their goodnight
lunch. Jack" knows he is welcome to
all the pie-crust he can eat, also al!
tie tooth-picks he cares for; and this
is why his cultivated tastes rebelled
against coupling pins and the like.
Instead of Used you work for the
d. and H." it's Used YOU work for
the .. and W. that is thrown at
Jack and Jack" rolls his brown
eyes with painful regret as he recalls
his bill of fare at Maytield Yard.
Aside from his visits to the restuur-
ants. Jack acts like a stranger in
strange land. He is dreadfully shy
Of the policemen. of whom he was such
q friend. and all the other dogs of the
town are not on barking terms with
him. They regard him as an intruder
and two of them a few nights ago way
laid Jack and made Hamburg steak
out of one of his ears. He was other
wise maltreated and felt badly enough
to need one of Archie Gurney's life
savers.
The woes of Jack" are many, but he
belongs to the don't worry club. and
even all his varied troubles could not
Spoil the funny wag of his funnier tail.
Two Well-dlessed and well-fed- look
ing young men flashed in front of Clerk
Seybolt in the American House just
before supper Wednesday evening.
Care to register" suggested Mr..
Seybolt, as he contemplated that the
hotel seemed to have two good guests
in the well-dressed pair before him.
IF You please smiled one of tho
pair, as he made a gracious bow. Then
he quietly wrote two names. He
placed the blotter over il. and when
the clerk removed it he was aston
ished to read the names. "Dick Cro-
kcr." "Tom Platt."
There We're whisperings among the
hotel employees as to the indentity of