Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-05-25
= Tea abe Salad. -

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Ais Well that Ends WclI.-Timid
Lady-"Are people ever lost in this riv-
err Boatman-"No, ma am; we al
ways find them in day or two. Fun.
Bifkins twho is giving party)-"What
do you get an evening tor waiting at en-
tertanmentsE Waiter-'Five shillings.
sir: but if there is to be singing I m5sf
ask six. sir"-Tit-Bit
The Difficulty. Manager-"I am sorry
that You wish to resign. What is the
trouble?" Star-'It is too much of n
strain on me to try TO live up 10 the sal
AIRY your press agent says | get.''-Balti-
more American.
The newly made father was imnulsive.
Martha. he exclaimed, lets call him
Darn he's such an insignificant little
cusS.' Ii was more amusing than tact
ful and cost two bonnets and a L'Aielon
coat.-Phldelphia Press.
Farmer Whitfletree-"Since view got
back from college yew doa't seem TO take
no interest in the old farm"
College Son-"No interest, dad :?
Haven't ! spent nearly two weeks LAYING
cut golf links?"-Judee.
There is one thing | can't under
stand. remarked the Observer Of Events
and Things, land that is when a hen
starts IN to do turn on your spring gar
WI btdH s4lN never happens 10 ulStnrh
he weed germs. '-YonkerS Statesman.
Why did you leave your last placer,
Master was too sarcastic"
How was that2''
Wen, told him / seen a snail on the
garden path, an he says to me: You
must have met it,. '-Moonshine
Mrs Bossier-"T see there was a wom
an arrested yesterday for Acknowledging
her husband in the street"
Mrs. Nizavee-"The police were quite
right; these painful duties should be per
Iofmed IN the privacy of the home. -
Brooklyn Life.
Please want a pennorth of-er-er-
! Want-er-er-"
, Have you forgotten what you came
"What?'
"Camphor. '-Moonshine.
Mrs. Newlywed-"Oh, dear, I'm al
ways getting swindled."
nowT'
Mrs. Newlywed-"I bought some
Schweltzer cheese for you. and when |
so{ II home | found it was full of holes"
Philadelphia Record
Haste is Waste.-Dollard- Bis dat
On i clto dat That's Eye-talian, l guess.
what it mean? Do you know" ScoI-
ard Literally, He gives twice who
SmeS quickly A freer translation
would be: He who gives quickly gives
~ as much as he would if he stopped
" tnlhk 1t over. -Philadelphia Press
~ see" said a gentleman approaching
-, opurgeon after services in the Ia
"eIAacle that YOU have forgotten me
SIT; and yet you once did me the greatest
~tNGe that one man can do another"
anu what service was that?" asked
rnHseon. on buried my wife, sir"
;aohded the stranger, his eyes filing
WIN grateful tears.
d Darling" exclaimed the happy man.
r ,ng next moment, Il never dared hope
'.Hr would accept me-
o,! explain" said Miss Lakeside. Il
INSURED fortune-teller the other day.
ana she told me my second marriage
S "ou lG make me very happy and wealthy.
,is VI course, | had to get my first mar
''-e over with. '-Philadelphia Press
~ 10 you suppose it is really true thai
t.9o S599lian of Turkey actually shot aud
'', aG MS physician| asked Mrs. Snages.
D WW4eSs ITS true replied Mr.. Snaggs.
~" ~ nat caused him to do itY'
.II ne Doctors inefficiency"
lows that?"
CAN'T, ne Sultan is evidently tired Of being
t @..ed Il me Sick Man of Europe. Pits
'-lg Chronicle-Telegraph
AZ = n Seacher in one of the public schools
Mt. t. recently asked her pupils to
80 sentence which should Introduce
'be,, "4td ,.anonymous.' explaining %
m nm ,,Rat the word meant without a
s.. When the papers we're handed in this
W5r ".lis sentence met her eye: ION my
my 70 school this morning | saw an
' ..,,! nous COW. Judge
n. Vel, what's the trouble now?" asked
p5,'o run old physician of the chronic
Nh N doctor" whined the professional
nv ~; feel such an awful pain in
ry I, at every time I raise my hand 10
5a- Hun srnnted the 9. O. D.. then
i4i,s .r"lSe Your hand to your head Two
- please. "-Philadelphia Press.
gsp Se1n says he'll have his graduation ,
~, purity soon"
~ 11t he been a-larnin' of?"
Gers an Latin, an French, aa
oslea an so forth"
corr what's he goin' 70 do after he
,- Vel I'll ef he don't 90 to splittin' rails .
% b.'Dih l reckon hell spend the rest /
lzbt, ~ Jays a-writin' Of dialectr'-At. !
.'% 'cnstitution.
ar ..'GI.o'lrned ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
tod asfao.f'9aching Irish serEeant}-"I am I
with .LE"&nt that you had a skirInish +,
tue enemy this morning" Ser =