The Savannah morning news., 1901-07-21
WOMAN'S
WORLD.


went out driving with the young man
to whom she was betrothed. On the
way the horse became stubborn, and
the man, flying into a violent passion.
began to lash it cruelty. When they
returned home the girl promptly broke
the engagement, saying that where a
man could so easily lose his temper,
and so brutally fog a horse, the wo-
man marrying him would take the same
chances of ill-treatment and she de-
clined the risk.
1t senes to me, says Dorothy Dix in
the New Orleans Picayune, that the
pitch of all the wise advice, from Solo
mon down to the present day, on how
to be happy, though married. is COM
prised in that little story. 1t throws
a sidelight and searchlight on the inn
poftance' of looking before you leap
into the, abyss of matrimony. 1t en-
phasizes the necessity of assuring your
self that you are getting a diamond
of the first water, instead of a rhine
stone, before you invest your all in it.
1t is applying downright, hard, irrefut-
able common sense to the place in life
where it is needed most and where it
is scarcest.
No engineer on earth would be fool
enough to dash on with his train in the
face of a red signal of danger No pilot
would fail to heed the hoarse cry of
the bell buoy when danger was evident,
but the average man and woman, more
reckless than they. rush heedlessly on
s.-k sN.,1, IL.
their happiness, in spite of the fact
that every inch of the way is placard-
ed with warning of disaster.
1t is our way to speak of domestic
infelicity as if it were an unavoidable
accident, instead of purblind folly.
Ninety-n nine times out of hundred
the people who come to US with their
tale of woe are simply reaping the re"
ward of having defied reason and log
&c. The theory is that the victim in
an unhappy marriage has been deceiV-
ed. To admit that is to admit oneself
an idiot. There are always plenty OF
opportunities before marriage to find
out what sort of person you are marry
ing There are little traits of charac-
ter, little meannesses of disposition, lit
tie uncongenialities of disposition that
are like red danger signals by a rail-
road track, flashing warnings in let
tiers of fire. If we do not chose to heed
them, It is our own fault, but nature
sets the signal and there is plenty of
time to stop and side track If we will
only do it.
The lives of millions of women are
made miserable, for instance, by the
cruelty of their husbands. don't mean,
either, that stratum of society in
which a brute comes home drunk at
night and physically beats and bruises
his wife. / mean the man who out
wardly conforms to all the conventions
of a gentleman, and who would never
dream of striking a woman, yet who
sneers at his wife's opinions, who de-
rides her judgment and holds her
weaknesses up to ridicule. A word can
cut deeper than a blow, and many a
woman in society would gladly change
her wounded heart for the blackened
eye of her sister in the slums and feel
herself the gamer.
But can any woman, in such a plight,
looking back, honestly say she had no
warning? Did she never see the man
overbearing and insolent to servants?
Did she notice that his dog covered
away from him, and came fawning and
trembling and with dropping tail at his
call? Was he impatient with children
and satirical at old peoples expense?
Be sure that many woman sees that
in the man she is going to marry. 1t
with voice like a megaphone, and
yet in the face of it all she goes on
and marries him, only to find herself
ill-treated and abused the moment she
ceases to be a novelty and a play
thing.
Among all the millions of her sex the
New Jersey woman alone seems to
have had foresight enough to realize
that the man who would be brutal to
a horse would be brutal to a woman
the minute she got in his power. The
savage cruelty was there that delights
In torment, the brutality was there,
for all the outward polish and civili-
cation, and in any stress it was bound
to come out and vent itself on the near
est helpless thing-and in married life
that is always the wife.
As for those other cases, in which a
girl marries a dissipated man, believ-
ing she can reform him, or a lazy, good
for-nothing, thinking he will work for
her sake when he never has for his
own, nothing need be said. If a person
hasn't enough sense to keep out of the
fire, nothing short of being put in a
straight Jacket can prevent them from
being burned. l suppose every woman
has right to wreck her life if she
wants to, but when she does, she ought
TO have courage enough to keep her
troubles to herself, and not burden the
rest of the world with lamentations
because everything has turned out Just
exactly like she was warned il would.
l never knew but one consistent wo-
man in this respect. She married a
handsome and dissipated young fellow
TO reform him. He didn't reform, of
course, but she never uttered one moan
TO her family or friends nor one re-
proach to him. When he went off on
long debauches, or was brought home
staggering drunk, she was tender,
cheerful, loving, as if he had been all
that the most critical could ask in a
husband. Il knew what / was doing
when l married Charley" she said,
and l have nothing to complain Of.
/ took the chances"
If women refuse to heed the warn
ings they get before marriage, men are
even more averse to taking a tip from
fate. Every man cherishes in his Sc
cret soul the Illusion that he can form
his wife's character. and that being
married to him is going to work a
revolution of all her tates and beliefs.
II is a charming theory. and the pity
of 1t is that there isn't one grain of
truth in it. What a woman is before
she is married, she is going TO be after
the wedding, and down TO the grave