Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1901-11-21

AS Ink JUMP STRUCK HIM HE U1TkhED
GRoAN
the same question was put to him by
an old man on the street car Mr.. Bow
ser had savagely answered.:
You are an old man. sir. and l re-
spect your gray hairs, sir. but don't
presume too far on my good nature"
But can't | ask if you have tooth.
ache:" queried the old man.
NO. sir: you can't. You can mind
your own business"
Yes, here il was at last-a full jewell
ed. swell front, rubber tired case of
toothache. and all the peppermint es-
sence. cloves. cinnamon oil and other
remedies he had used on the sly and all
the white lies he had told Mrs. Bowser
for three days had been in vain. As
the Jump" suddenly struck him he ut
tered a groan and clapped his hand to
his jaw, and the family cat walked
over and sat down in front of him and
looked her sympathy.
"What's the matter with you" que
ried Mrs. Bowser as she looked up
from her book.
"N-nothing,' he replied, hoping that
no other jump would follow and that
he could make a sneak for the pepper
sauce later on.
II didn't know but that you had the
toothache," she carelessly observed.
eff you had. was going to ask you
why you didn't have it pulled out"
81 think I am old enough and big
enough to know what to do when l
have the toothache or any other ache.
What in thunder is that old cat looking
at? I've had enough of her around
this house."
Mrs. Bowser knew that act No. 2
was coming and she had no more to
say. Mr.. Bowser started to whistle
and got up and walked into the hall,
but as soon as out of her sight he kick
ed himself and held his jaw. When he
returned, he casually remarked that
Aguinaldo hadn't been captured yet
and that it was mighty singular wealth
er for that time of year. He was do
ing his best, even to smiling at the cat.
to make himself believe that old tooth
hadn't a hollow in it big enough to
tuck away a Iield bean when the jump
hit him again. Up went his hands,
and up went his feet, and he groaned
out a sort of death cry. The cat
shuckled. and Mrs. Bowser exclaimed:
"What on earth is the matter with
you tonight? You act as If you had
the collie"
.1t's-it's just a slight attack of
toothache." he replied, with a CHASTITY
smile; "got my big toe damp the other
rainy day. guess. 1t won't amount
TO row of pins, however"
'If it does, you'll go to the dentists
in the morning of course?"
"Of course. You don't suppose I'm
the sort of man to suffer around with
the toothache for six or seven years.
do you"
Mr.. Eowser's voice had no weight in
it, and his face was pale, but he had
made up his mind to bluff the tooth
ache and Mrs. Bowser in addition.
The idea of going to the dentist work
ed an ice cold streak up and down his
spine and made his toes crack, and he
was secretly determined to die first
He sneaked into the parlor and tried
"laying on Of hands" on his jaw, but
1t was no go. He went and sat down on
the stairs and tried Christian Science,
but the sinful tooth got in an extra
jump ON him. He prayed softly to
himself, and he cursed in louder tones
and kicked at his own feet, but there
was no panacea. BY and by he wan
dered into the sitting room and re-
marked that he guessed he'd go to bed
and catch up his sleep. Mrs. Bowser
noticed how he suffered as she acqui-
esced but she didn't express a word Of
pity. She had had eight or ten teeth
filed or extracted, and on each and
every occasion Mr.. Bowser had ridi-
culed her lamentations and made sport
of her tears. Only a month previously,
when she had had the toothache for
five minutes, he had heartlessly offered
to pull it with pair of fire tongs and
had wanted to xii! the nerve with
redhot poker.
There was but little sleep for Mr..
Bowser that night. He wanted to kick
and gloan and curse, but he thought of
forceps. He wanted Mrs. Bowser to
vinegar, mustard or something else,
but the dentist seemed to be looking
at him with a cold, cruel glare. When
morning came, he had a lump on his
jaw. the fires of desperation in his
eyes and a scared feeling clear down
to his toes. He couldn't eat a mouthful
of breakfast, and he said nothing of
going to the office. Mrs. Bowser sat
down with a good appetite and took
ten minutes longer than usual to salts
fy it, and when she rose up she said:
"You have got the toothache, and we
will go to the dentist"
Its g-goner' he whispered in reply
as he pointed to his jaw.
''We are going" she curtly continued,
and she pat his hat ON his head and
his ovGrcoat on his back.
He hung on TO the halltree and the
door, but she made ready, and he had
to follow Unseen by either, the cat
followed at their heels, and after a
walk of two blocks they arrived at the
dentists. Mr.. Bowser would have run
away, but Mrs. Bowser took his hand
and led him up the walk and into the
house The dentist was at home, and
there was an inexorable look on his
face One glance at 1t satisfied Mr..
Bowser that he could expect no mercy.
but he stammered out:
Il was just fooling! haven't got
any toothache."
Get into the chairr' commanded the
dentist, with a murderous look In his