davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
A SYMPATHETIC NeiRhbor.

Jones Ito next-door neighbor)-I
don't like to mention it, but I fear
your daughter is taking elocution les
sons.
Smith (hotly)-Certainly she il.
What about it?
Jones (hurriedly)-Oh, nothing;
only I thought would break the
news as gently as possible, in case
you were ignorant of the fact
Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
The Only Rapid Transit.

Wife-I know I'm rather late in
getting dressed; but we can reach
the theater before the overture is
over, can't we?
Husband (gloomily) - Yes, If
there's a fire downtown
"A fire! What earthly good would
that do?'
I'VE might get a chance to ride
down on fire engine."-N. Y. Week.
1v
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
An Execution.

II tell you, any man can win now.
adays if he has nerve.'
"Oh, don't know about that. Look
at my Cousin Jack. He had nerve
enough to try to borrow ten dollars
from the girls father, to pay the min
lister, and, by golly, the old man got
mad and wouldn't let him have her.
Chicago Times Herald.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Exnected n Chanxe.

"You want my daughter?" sternly
exclaimed the wealthy Mr.. Strate-
lace. II have reason to believe, sir,
that you are beer guzzler.'
"Well," replied the suitor, II sup
pose I have drank my share of it.
but I'd stop that If 1 married your
daughter"
"You would, eh?"
Eyes, sir. I'd be able to afford wine
then."-Philadelph Press.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
The Power of Habit,

"Darling," she said, do you love
me as much as ever?''
"Yes, dearie," said he, with his nose
buried in his newspaper.
That ought to have satisfied her,
but she had to ask ''Why?"
"Oh, I dunno. Habit, suppose
Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
:@@A n&%5

"You see the jack of hearts is next
to the queen of clubs-that indicates
that your sweetheart is unfaithful."
"Yes, but which one-Karl, or Fritz,
or Hans, or possibly Ferdinand?"-
Unsere Gesellschaft.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
His PhilOs0Dhy.

She-I know we have Everything we
rally made, but there's nanny wan
thot's better off,
He-Ye shud be satisfied. 1very-
body thot has their health an strin'th
an thot's able to kick about what
doesn't suit thin shud be satisfied
Puck. :;
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Profound LoHic,

Mose-Ain't it funny dat q mans
brains am in his head, but his sense am
in his neck?
Pete-How yo' make dat out? 8
Mose-Why, eft yo' want to knock =
man senseless yo' have to hit him in
de neck.-Judge. y. .a.~. -
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Fittin8.

Miss Schermerhorn-The presum-
ing old fossil, to propose to you!
What did you say?
Miss Joralemon-I told him I would
be a daughter to him.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Facts i'm tho Gaze.

II cannot sing the old songs,'
She screeched, then silent stood;
For the galleryites In chorus yelled
That's right-you never could"
Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Loss. 100000.

St. Joseph, Mo-, Feb. A fire orig
mated in q mysterious manner in the
trimming department of the Krug
Packing company's plant in this city
Sunday night, and the plant suffered a
loss Of $4,000 before the flames could
be checked.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Railroad Train Politeness.

Passenger No. latter stepping on a
fellow-passenger's foot, savagely)-
Well, what are your feet doing there,
anyway?
Passenger No. 2 (meekly)-I assure
you they were not put there with any
idea of having them amputated.-Yon-
ers Statesman.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

Pleasantly Locating the Distress.
"Did you have any trouble with your
French in Paris, Mrs. Riffraff?"
mo; we didn't have any trouble at all;
but the people who tried to talk with us
ia Jouraal.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
stand on.

He-But still don't dare to con-
fess to your father the extent of my
debts.
She-What towards you men are!
Papa is also afraid to tell you about
his debts.-Heitere Welt.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Rent Free.

Mack-I don't believe I ever saw
Mrs. Muchwed looking better. She
seems to have taken a new lease Of
Hfe. *4::.,-. : a
. Wyld-Yes; she's just married her
third.-Brooklyn Life. .,'-~~- =
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Not Pleaaing.

Sandy Ss;dsy PikesDid de funny old chap in de
story, Billy?
y Billy Coalgate-Naw! He told me wood
splittin story, an l moved on.-Chicago
Daily News.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Queer Perf1nery.

In Tartary, onions, >leeks and gar.
lie are regarded as perfumes. A Tar
tar lady will make herself agreeable
by rubbing piece of freshly-cut onion
on her hands and over her counte.
nance.-N. Y. Sun.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Just the Man.

Castleton-I am going around to see
Miss Pinkerly. Say, do you think there
is any chance Of her accepting me?
Clubberly-Excellent., She told me
yesterday she was dead tired of the
theater, conversation, society and din
ners.-Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

Eyer no thrue an pathriotic Amurican!"
mo more are you!"' "Thot Oi am! I cot
me papers jest befure iliction an voted loike
. mon. indianapolis News. :" 8
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Family POisoned.

Pittsburgh, Pa, Feb. 4.-As a re-
suit of eating pork supposed to have
been "doctored" with some sort Of
preservative, whole family was poi
soned. Saturday evening. One member
is dead and five others are seriously
1T
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
FuPtive ATTEMPT.

"What kind of fur is that boa Miss
Klickitat wears around her neck?"
II don't know. At this distance I
can't make head or tail of ofit.'-Chicago
Tribune. , . .
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
A winninx Conceseto..

Crawford-How were they per.
suaded not to cut down the minister's
salary? 81. Il: .s..
|, Crahshaw-He promised to cut
down his sermons.-Judge.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

Nothing Observation-Disclosures der
news, oldt man.. Flamski with paper) =
"Oh, nodding to speak of; two false alarms
undt sefen small fires. Town Topics.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

1t is said that an artist at work on a BibE.
cal history undertook to make a sketch Of
'Rebecca at the vel" but he couldn't draw
the water.-Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

Stoughton-"Did you have good time
a. the banquet last night?" Manhattan
drank myself into Rn.1%I nsfnsb
Transcript.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
what He Did.

Kentuckian-He called me- q liar.
sir.
New Yorker-And what did you do?
Kentuckian-I went to the funeral.
Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Between Friends.

Mae-What do you think he did
when refused him?
Florence-0h, I can't imagine! He
was certainly too dignified to dance q
jig or anything like that?-Puck.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
A Family TreaauPe

''was it valuable watch you lost,
madam2''
..Valuable! All five Of my children
cut their teeth on it."-Chicago Rec
ord
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
omethinx Lacking.

Lives Of great men all remind US
We are much like them: but Fate
The receipt has not assigned us
How to make folks think we're great
PUCK.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Good Counsel.

How shall we reach perfection7 List,
My poor misguided brothers:
Just follow the advice you give
So freely unto others.
-Philadelphia Press
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Ready for the Fray

There was a young fellow named Bunth,
Who courted widow a month:
When he asked her to wed
She NspinEly said:
'Oh. yeth; I'll get ready at onth.'' J
-Tit.RftS ~
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
One of Many.

My wife is my banker at present, {;
But I'd be broke just the same;
For creditors would have my cash
If it wasn't all in hee name.
Chicago Daily News.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

He-If were you I wouldn't be 4
fool.
She-Indeed you would not.-Louis-
Vile Courier-Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
Happy Land of Freedom.

Foreign Serf-Your ceety ees not
clean. r. s-.ss II - e =,
American Freeman-N-o; 1t haaa't
rained for some titne.-N. T. Weekly.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

st. Paul, Feb. 4.-The senate intend
ed to have adjourned Friday until
Tuesday, but forgot it, and hence there
was only bare quorum present Sat
urdav. One more absentee would have
prevented any session at all.
Two bills were introduced. One
provides for q sanitarium in the Cass
Lake region, appropriating $3.50. .o0l
for the building and $50, 900 for it's sup
port. The other legalizes osteopathy.
The house was more industrious than
the senate, ten bills being introduced.
One of the provides for the sale OF
the state capitol lands in Kandiyohi
county. Forty years ago it was the
dream of a good man y that the capital
of the state would some time be re-
moved from St. Paul, and this tract OF
land was secured, with provisos that
allowed the legislature to remove the
capital without submitting it to q
vote of the people. 1t could not &c
anywhere else without vote of the
people, and st. Paul was never es.
pecially alarmed over that, but the
possible removal by legislative act
"dS d AASnI"oIc "AACu uuuk uho
pail over st. Paul for 25 years. This
passed away some years ago, and with
the new capitol building the question
is settled forever. The bill offered
will simply dispose of what has be.
come, for the original plan, worthless.
A bill regulating osteopathy was in.
troduced in the house, as well as in the
senate.
A political discussion occupied a
good portion of the house session. A
republican offered memorial to con-
gress for the regulation of trusts, and
democrat proposed an amendment
putting all trust made articles on the
free list. The amendment was debated
on partisan grounds and was finally
defeated.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
COAceite1

COnceiteJ.
He-'Tis love that makes the world
go round.
She-And just because your head is
turned, you think you are the whole
world, suppose.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
.Frieaalx. -Ilnterprefafion,

Clara-Mr. Nicefellow said my face
was classic. What did he meant
Dora--Oh, anything old is classic, yeo.
know -Tit-Bits. ....Ssszs-s
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08

"0efe1n HIS Bf1ll100Cy LteDs
"When you speak of him as a bril-
hant man I presume you intend to
datter him." remarked the matter
of-fact person.
"Not at all," answered the feminine
diplomat,
'Well, must confess that I con-
slider him stupid. I never saw any
thing brilliant about him."
did you never notice his forid
complexion" asked the feminine Dip
lomat. II always aim to be truthful
even in my Aattery."-Chicago Post.
MisunderstO0d.
"Ah. drunk again." the preacher said
AS he met on the street poor drunken
Ned.
''Yes-hic-old boy, and so am IT,
The leering drunkard made reply;
And, puzzled, the preacher passed him
by.
st. Louis Star.
The Worthington advance., 1901-02-08
st. Paul, Feb. 2-Yesterday was an

st. Paul. Feb. 2-Yesterday was An
off day in the senate owing to good
many absentees. Five bills were in
troduced of minor consequence, but no
bills were passed. The resolution to
bounce j. s. vandiver from q clerk
ship was postponed until Tuesday, af-
ter some debate.
In the house the bill making the
state oil inspection Office a salary in
stead of q fee Office was reported IA
vorably from the committee. It is
very doubtful about it becaming law,
as "the push" are against it.
Nearly all the time of the house was
occupied in listening to arguments on
the election contest from LIE Sueur
county between Mahood (dem.) and
Blair (rep) For once the house was
above partisanship and allowed Ma
hood to retain his seat by vote of sc
to A.. Now it will be in order to ap-
propriate $500 or $500 to the contest
ants for expenses.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-04-30
MILLION BALE MARK
PASSED BY SAVANNAH IN COTTON
RECEIPTS YESTERDAY.
MONTH LATER THAN LASTYEAR
CAUSES OF THE SLOW MOVEMENT
OF THE STAPLE.

The Decline An Price Following the
Squirt at the Opening of the Sea-
son Responsible for the Holding
Back of Cotton for Higher Prices
Later on-COndItlOn of Cotton
Goods Trade Bound to Regulate
the Price-The Seasons Receipts
So Far 1,OO2,13I Bales Against
1,O5J,544 Last Year.
Savannh's gross receipts of cotton
reached the million-bale mark yesterday.
The receipts since Sept. / are 1902 1871,
against ,O55, 544 for the corresponding time
last season.
The miIlion-bole mark is reached a
month behind last season, when this
amount was received Saturday. March "a,
but with it's hardness the amount comes
before it was generally expected. The
million mark last season was shown by
receipts at the Cotton Exchange of 1,OO1,-
1884,
While the movement to Savannah shows
some backwardness, IL is due entirely
TO market disturbances some time back,
and not to any shortage of the crop in the
territory from which Savannah receives
cotton. The drop in the cotton futures
market during the last few months and
the consequent decline in spots created
demoralization generally among holders,
who held on to their cotton in the hope
of selling when the expected recovery IN
prices took place. Inasmuch as the sea-
son opened under the most favorable aus
pices for high prices it was thought when
the decline started that it would be of short
duration and that il was only necessary
to show nerve and wait to sell at attrac-
tive prices when the upward turn should
again start AS this 1ooked-for recovery
is yet 40 come, the result is that many
of the stronger holders still have their
cotton on hand, and do not intend to offer
it until satisfactory prices can be OBJ
tanned, Holders who were unable, or did
not care 40 put up further margins, al
lowed their cotton to go to sale as the
market dropped. The amount still held
in the interior is variously estimated but
it is currently understood that large lots
are stored at the important towns. The
gross receipts to date are 53413 behind
last season.
The prevailing prices are behind last
year Good middling on yesterday was
S12c, against Csc last season, middling
SIC, against 8 7-16c last season; low mid
ding TIC, against 3-16c last season, and
good ordinary 63sc, against s 11-16c last
season. The looked-for recovery in prices
depends largely on any improvement in
the cotton goods trade, which for some
time past has been dull and featureless,
the yield of cotton for the present sea-
son and the conditions governing the COM
ing seasons output. The fact that
The growth of the plant is almost en-
tirely dependent upon the weather makes
the prospects for next seasons Yield de-
cidedly uncertain. In the event of de-
structive weather conditions after the re-
planting season, the effect would impart
great strength to the present market,
which is one among the possibilities on
which the hope of present holders for
higher prices hangs.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-04-30
DR.. S. A. WHITE DEAD.
End Came After Illness From Con-
Eestion of the Brain.


DR.. A. S. White died late yesterday af-
ternoon at his residence. No. II Jones
street. west, from congestion of the
brain, complicated by other affections. His
death removes one of the most successful
and the Oldest dentists in Savannah. 1t
also removes from the religious circles OF
the city one who had long been promi-
nent and who had done much for the
cause OF God.
DR. White was so years old Sept. 30 last.
He was born in Charleston, S. c.. where
he lived until June. 1870, when he came
to Savannah and formed a partnership
in dentistry with DR.. f. Y. Clark now
of Saratoga He was a devoted men,
Der of Trinity Methodist Church, and
was a member of the board of stewards
and chairman of the board of trustees,
the highest position in the church. His
as the church has long been cherished by
him and its interests have been dearer TO
him than his own.
A wife, who was Miss Isabelle Glover of
Savannah, four children and a brother
are the immediate relatives who survive
DR.. White. The children are Messrs
Davis g., Samuel A, William K. and Miss
Halle c. White, and the brother is Col
William r. White of Cedar Key, Fla.
DR.. White was a member OF the Royal
Arcanum and of Lafayette McLaws Camp
of Confederate Veterans His service for
the Confederacy was with the Fifth South
Carolina Cavalry, portion of Hampton's
Legion, in the Virginia compaigns.
The funeral will take place this after
noon at 4:30 O'Clock from Trinity Church.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-04-30
JOBS OF THE INSPECTORS.
Joint Committee Discussed Question
of Their Need.


The COMMITTEES on Public Health and
the Special Committee on House Drainage
met yesterday at noon at the City Elk
change to consider the question of retain
ing or dismissing from the city's service
Plumbing Inspectors T. j. Sheftall and
Frank McDermott. No conclusion was
reached, but there will be another meet
ing of the joint committee tomorrow,
when it may be decided to report to
Council with a recommendation for or
against the retention of the inspectors.
No appropriation from which the in
spectors may be paid has been made by
Council, and their retention in the service
would mean that an appropriation would
have to be provided. At the last meeting
of council the matter was referred 20 the
joint committee for investigation. II was
desired to know what need there might
be for the inspectors.
The probabilities now are that one of
the inspectors will be retained. Which
one is dismissed and which is retained will
be a question for the Mayor to decide, as
the position of inspector is appointive by
that official. Messrs. Sheftall and McDer-
mott were appointed a the same time, so
that there is no question of seniority en-
teriug into the matter.
If it is determined to have the work
of making house connections with the
house drainage System continue right
through the summer months, 1t is prob
able that both inspectors will be kept.
There is difference of opinion, however. as
to the advisability of having the work
continue.
Health officer Drummer advised the COM
mttee that he considered the menace to
public health from making the connections
could not be as great as from the reten-
ton of the old sanitary system. About
this, however, there was some question
raised, and it was decided to submit the
matter to the Sanitary Board, which will
meet to-day or tomorrow. Alderman
Horrigan, chairman of the joint commit
tee, said that the view of the Sanitary
Board would probably bear weight in the
conclusion that the committee Will reach.
Alderman Horrigan said that he was not
certain that the committee would make
recommendation to Council. 1t may only
report the conditions and leave Council
to decide as to what shall be done.
House connections are being made in
rapid order. This month there have been
IA permits for the work issued from the
office of the director of public works, and
plumbers say that there will probably be
more next month, as there has been diff
Guilty this month about getting material.
The inspectors have been kept busy, and
there is a very decided opinion that there
is need for their services if the work is
to be continued during the summer
months.
The inspector for the force of the direc-
tor of public works makes the inspection
of the connection when it is laid from the
sewer to the property line. From the
property line to the house the inspection
is made by the sewer inspectors, while the
inspection of the plumbing falls to the
plumbing inspector. Thus three separate
inspections are made.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-04-30
DUTCH WATERMAN MISSING.
He Was With Swedish Captain
When Latter Was Drowned.


A native of Holland with a name that
cannot be pronounced or spelled readily,
and who for the last three months has
been employed as a night Waterman at
the Plant System wharves, is reported
as missing. The Waterman was Indirect
iy responsible for the drowning of Capt.
Nordquest Of a Swedish bark on Friday
night at the wharves. An account of
the drowning was published in the Morn
ing News.
1t has developed that the Swedish cap
tain and the Dutch Waterman had quite
a number OF drinks together on board the
bark, and that both were intoxicated.
They got into an argument over a trivial
matter and agreed to fight 1t out ashore.
The Waterman was unsteady, but man
aged to reach the wharf in safety. The
captain was not SO fortunate and fell
overheard. ...''. 81
The Plant System officials learned of
the part their Dutch Waterman had play
ed in the tragedy and he was discharged.
He has not shown up since that time,
and his whereabouts are unknown. The
recovery of the body has not yet been
reported to Coroner Keller, who only
learned of the circumstances connected
with the drowning yesterday 1t is quite
probable that an inquest will lbe held in
the face of the additional facts obtained.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-04-30
The COURTS BUSY DAY.
Misdemeanants Sentenced by Judge
Norwood to Pay Sins Penalty.


The cage in the City Court. was filled
with a motley array of small criminals
when Judge Norwood assembled the bench
yesterday morning. Small criminals these
were only in the nature of the offenses
they had committed or with which they
were charged: in the matter of pounds
and inches they ranged all the way from
a 12-year-old boy to stalwart six-footers
and acknowledgements
AS in size so in color was there brill
liant diversity. All the complexion tints
that Savannah's mixed population affords
were in evidence, from that of the white
tramp who had fingered at Savannah on
his return trip from the North-and lin
gered too long-to the ebon countenances
of some of those who face Judge Norwood
with perfect regularity and a frequency
only diminished by the length of their
terms of service on the gang.
SO far as the limited criminal jurisdic-
ton of the City Court would permit they
were charged with all sorts of offenses
Willie Talbot, who has been in court so
often as to have a right to be regarded
as an amicus curiae, had bought, some
furniture on the instalment plan from the
Walker Furniture Company giving the
company bill of sale for the furniture
and then deposited 1t for safekeeping and
a consideration with one of his numerous
avuncular relatives. This practice is con-
demned by the laws of the state and
Judge Norwood himself disappearing,
sent Willie to the gang and allowed him
twelve months for repentance.
w. T. Johnson, another negro, was con-
demned to suffer punishment he doubtless
regards as entirely vicarious. johnson
was unfortunate enough ito own a horse of
inherited criminal tendencies and accord
to- LII Ii
eating the corn and oats that were stored
on the wharves of the Ocean Steamship
Company. He claimed he had nothing to
do with it and was as much shocked and
grieved by the evil traits of character the
animal displayed as was the police officer
who arrested him. The policeman said
however. that Johnson contributed 10 the
destruction of the corn and oats by lead
ing his horse to the place where they
were stored and removing the animals
bride Judge Norwood could not be
brought TO think this conduct al
together in accordance with the
proprieties and he told the defendant
he would have either to come across with
a fine of $40 and costs, amounting to about
three times as much, or go to the gang
for three months.
Henry Small had stolen a bicycle from
Mr. ]. H. Furber. Twelve months on the
public works was fixed as the term of
his punishment. Bradley Thomas, con-
victed of the theft of SIS from Mr.. Frank
S. Van Giesen, received a like sentence.
There were a number of others found
guilty and sent to the gang, but these
mentioned were those of most interest.
All of the morning session was consumed
in the hearing of these cases and the
usual crowd of spectators, augmented by
parties variously at interest and witnesses
galore. was present to see justice admin
istered, as 1t always is in the City Court,
with "neatness, CELEBRITY and dispatch"
They saw 1t.