The Lewiston teller. (Lewiston, Idaho) 1900-1905, 1901-03-14

Oh, yes; half the time she refuses to
sing. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
1T is folly to meet Old Age half way"
II think so; wouldn't meet him at an
It knew how to get out of it."
"'Pay as you co. Is my rule" "Yes:
SO many people won't believe you when
you say you'll pay as you come back"
why do you call that speckled hen
'Macdnff' and the pig 'BarkisY" BE
cause Macdufr lays on and Barkis II
swillin'."-Life.
Myer-1 wonder what causes coneus.
sion Of the brain? Gyer-A collision
between two trains Of thought sup
pose.-Cbicago News.
Bride formerly a widow)-Oh. Harry.
what would l do If you should diet
Harry (doubtfully)-I don't know, dear.
but think can guess.
who was william the Conqueroe,
Sammy" asked tha nretty Hchool-
marin. Mckinley" replica Sammy"
promptly.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
He-I point out your faults because
love you. She-Nonsense! II you re-
ally loved me you would think my
faults were excellences.-Chicago Rec
ord.
The Parent-My boy, do you want mo
to tell you what happens to boys who
tell hesF The Boy-YeA pop; but,
golly! can you remember back that fart
-Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Meddergrass-Well, them New
York folks has certainly gone the limit
now. Mr.. Crosslots-What they doin'f
Mr.. Meddergrass-Goin' to have Q
horseless horse show.-Baltirnore Amer.
lean.
Schoolmaster-Now, Mugyins Minor,
what were the thoughts that passed
through Sir Isaac Newton'e mind when
the apple fell on his head7 Muggi1s-
expects he wuz awful glad 1t warn't Z
brick.-Fun.
IAN the worlds a stage" ''All the
worlds stage. Sam. and the men aud
women merely players" 'Yss. uassa,
but II OATS 30. wha, " gwias = git
you audience and osE3@ssy r'-Col-
lier's Weekly.
Mistress You say you are well rec
commended? Maid--Indeed, ma'am,
have thirty-nine excellent references.
Mistress-And you have been In domeo-
tic service7 Maid Two years, ma'am.
Glasgow Evening Times.
Newitt-Lend you v? why don't
you borrow it from Markley7 He =
easy. Borrowit-But don't know him
a. well as know you. hewitt That's
just 1t. and he doesn't know you a. wen
a. do.-Philadelphia Press.
HaxMtt-So you really think that
Miss MezSotint II q genuine artist1
And yet you never heard her. Barsad
No. but she freely admits that she
sings her selections. She does not claim
that she renders them. ~ 9ostcD
Transcript
Tess-I understand Miss Krusty actin
ally paid ne q compliment the othes
evening. Jess-Not quite. but she calne
a. near 1t az could be expected Of her.
Tess-What did she say7 Jess-6he
said You were very charming -but"
Press.
Wide Open: Briggs Well, old man,
how 10 that Authors Club OF yours ret
ting ONT Griggs- Eirst-rate; we have
made rule that no one can belong 10
It unless he has written . book. Briggs
lis that sof had an idea that It wa
IN exclusive affair.-Life.
Benedick-It 10 said that most OF tho
people who commit suicide are unmar-
ried. How are you going t. get around
that7 O'Batch-Oh. well, s'pose altar
. fellow has been married while no
gets 90 he can put up with almost any
thing.-Chicago Times Herald.
Clerk Ito patentmedicine mani Hero
il curious credential from one Of our
customers. Medicine Man-Read Il
Clerk-Before took your elixir my
face was sight You ought to - Il
now. Send me another bottle for my
Observation-Disclosures Life.
"Hello. Jones. moving again - soonf
l thought you were perfectly satis6ed
with your present home" Il va, old
man, but the fact ID our sitting-room .
covered with goldenrod pattern, and
! can't cure my hay fever at III. Tho
landlady won't repaper II. and % W
have to move."-Puck.
Owens-Is Mr.. Lenders inl Boy
Not yet, SIR; but expect him every
minute. Owens-It's 10 o'clock, isn't
it, Boy-Nearly. The clock win strike
in half q minute, II not sooner. TAere
n pnoal 0wnnn-Au vsfOh< 4 vvc,..~,a
to be here at 10 O'Clock and pay him
some money. Tell him I called and
he waan't in.-Tit-Bits.