Warren sheaf., 1901-09-05
FARMER GOES sAUroMoBILING,

FARMER GOES ADToMoBIL1NG.
Decide. That On. Experi.nc. 4 Enough
81 tor Him. 81
When the venerable, and respected
son Of the native soil from Muskego
Center made his dignifed way up
Grand avenue the other afternoon the
sun was shining on both sides Of the
street and the trolley cars were run
ming on schedule time. Nothinghap-
pened to the man from Muskego Cen
ter until he attempted to cross the
street. Then he came within an ace Of
being run down by an automobile.
After being rescued by a: fat police
man the stranger in Milwaukee stood
IN the Plankinton house corner and
said things, says the Milwaukee Sem
tinel. f.. <@%fla2 t1a2iE'3
!" 'Tarnal queer things them new
tangled orterbile wagons" he said to
the fat policeman. 'FYou kinder can't
tell what the blame machines be goin'
tur. do next. Got one myself back up
home, an I guess I ought tur know
what I'm talkin' bout. You see, my
son Hiriam-he's our oldest boy
youknow-isa-livin downrin Chicago
an a-makin' money hand over fist.
Hiriam's mighty good boy tur mean
his mother, an he's always a-sendin'
presents ter me an therfolks ath home.
Couple Of weeks ago he sent us one Of
them wagons that runs without a
horse an letter tellin' us how ter
run it. Seems that Hi had to take it
for a bad debtan' kind O. thought we
could useit on ther farm, seein' as how
that old roam mare of ours has gone
dead lame in front an that fool colt I
bought last winter aint got 'nough
sense tur keep him from kickin' out Of
the harness every time we hook him to
wagon. j
"Well, sir, after I hauled that new
rig up from the station an read them
blame instructions over an over till I
knew 'em all by heart, I turned the
mare an ther fool colt out into the
pasture an started to take a ride in
that new orterbile wagon. I felt
kind Of guilty like when I got up inter
the seat an gripped the iron stick that
starts the thing. You see, tha old
mare, who has beeni in our family for
more'n twelve years, was standin'
right up agin ther fence a-lookin' at
me kind of reproachful like Jest as
though she knew she was goin' tur lose
her job. =. ....->...e. ~ @<a. %4M
'Then there was mother an Susan
Jane-she's my daughter, you know
| -a-standin' at ther gatelookin' onan'
givin advice. Well, sir, / jest pulled
that stick an we started, an then I'm
darned if [ didn't clear furgit all them
blamed instructions that I'd learned
by heart. "." -. >... .... .......... >.
""Now, I can't tell yer what hap
pened after that, cause yer see 1 Jest
shut my eyes an thought Of what the
preacher had said in his last weeks
sermon bout f1yin' in the face of Prov
idence.. I remember we went over the
fence an that big pile of stones. an
then everything got black like. III.
"When I came to mother and Susan
Jane were 1tyin' up my head an that
fool colt was a-laughin'-yes, sir,
laughing jest as hard as a horse ever
did laugh. But ther old mare was
a-lookin' solemn an sympathetic, an
l knew she was sorry.
II got up off ther ground an threw
stones at that colt. Then I called
that pesky orterbile device of Satan,
an it kind of eased my mind. AfterI
got strong enough ter travel I come
right down here ter Milwaukee ter buy
a brand new harness for that old mare.
She may be lame an deaf, but she's
heap safer ter drive than any Of these
pesky horseless carriages. Besides,
she didn't give me the horse laugh
FAMOUS YACHTSWOMEN