davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Home Thrust.

DoctOr-Do you know that at times
my patriotism almost TGOmpts me to
give up my practice and enlist in our
country's cause In the Philippines"
Experienced Patient Ton the spur Of
the momenU-You will surely SOW the
seeds of CONSERVATION in the ranks OF
the enemy, doctor, If you charge them
as you have charged me.-Rlchmond
Dispatch.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
In His Line.

Rowland Rantt-You are a new mem
Der of our company. May | ask, sir,
your role?
The Other-I am the advance agent.
Howland Rantt-Indeed! Well, could
you-er-advance me a fver?-Phila-
delphia Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

parliamentarian of
that body Is the
third Of his lmme-
dlate family to oc-
cupy that position.
HIS grandfather,
John G. Melon
aid, was appoint
ed chief clerk of
the Senate In 1909,
and continued in
that position until
bia daotb In 1gQR
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Knew Where he Stood.

There's one thing | must say for
Henrietta" said Mr.. MeektOn. "She
is very firm once she gets her mind
made up"
"She can't be argued out Of her opln-
ion."
mo, indeed! That's what makes
home so happy. If she expresses her
self in the morning l know perfectly
well that she, hasn't changed her mind
when get home at night. 1t makes 1t
very much easier to converse. Wash
ington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
suspected Brarnadoclo.

what makes you so unfrlendly to
that newcomer
'Nyell," said Bronco Bob, "the fust
thing he said when he struck the {own
was that he thought Of edith n paper
in Crimson Gulch. hate to see man
come around like that advertlsin' his
self as bloodthrsty an troublesome. -
Washington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

A farmer has an ambitious son, IL
years old, who, being left alone for
few hours the other day, tried to cleaR
the clock. He easily got the clock to
pieces, but his difficulty lay in putting
Il together again after cleaning.
At this task he was only partly sue
cessful, and upon his fathers return
home he eagerly exclaimed:
Father, I've cleaned the clock and
got enough works left over TO make
another one!"-Exchang
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

The Chronic Discussionist (truculent-
ly)-If Andrew Jackson were alive to-
day what would be his sentiments In
this matter?
The Sober Minded Citizen (wearily)--
He would be glad he was dead, l pre-
sume.-Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

II am really afraid you hurt that
actors feelings" said Miss Cayenne.
"In what way?"
"You said he played his part very
well. You know he is very sensitive
and by using the word part he may
have thought you were trying to imply
that he Is not the whole show. Wash
Ington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
The Worst.

Mrs. Gush-I heard all about your
poor husband having his arm broken
in that dreadful street car accident
Yesterday; let me sympathize with you.
Mrs. Swagger-O, thank you, but that
isn't the worst; my new hat was simply
ruined in the wreck.--Ohio State Jour.
mol o.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Sea Fish in Take Ontario,

The deepening of the St. Lawrence
canal system has had ether results
than to allow the passage of ocean
going freightage, Following in the
wake of the vessels sea herrings have
made their appearance in Lake On
tario, and are being eagerly captured
by the fishermen.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Urbane Minister wu.

Sarcastic Edltor-Your interview
with the Chinese minister doesn't seem
to have been much of success.
Indignant Reporter-It doesn't? got
more questions out Of him than all the
other fellows put together Chicago
Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Was Hungry.

Passenger % a. NIL say, old sport
what o'clock Is 1t?
Second Officer-We have no such
thing as o'clock on board ship, sir. 1t
Is bells here.
Passenger-Then please have me call
ed IN time for the first breakfast bell.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
The Cares of Riches.

do you find the possession Of large
sum of money occasions worry?" said
the inquisitive man.
Il do" answered the millionaire.
what sort Of wOrry2'
"WorFg for fear somebody is going
to get It away from me. Washington
Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
FROM
P00RHOusE P1 70 PALACE P@
IA
BY MARY j. HOLMES

her go to a better home, so he tried to
be cheerful.
Aside from him, Sally was the only
composed one. 1t Is true her eyes were
very bright, and there was a compression
about her mouth seldom seen, except Just
before one Of her frenzied attacks. Dc
caslonally. too, she pressed her hands up
on her head, and walking to the sink,
bathed It in water, as IL to cool Its in
ward heat.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
The Overcoat Vacation.

"Yes, when put away my overcoat
for the summer drop a camphor ball
In each pocket"
"Do you? Three gilt balls are enough
for e"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
The Humors of Travel.

"Dld Clara bring home an interesting
lot of photographs of her foreign tour"
yes -dreadfully funny; she didn't
write names on them and can't tell
what more than half Of them are"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
A Man of Courage.

She-I didn't suppose you had the
nerve to kiss me.
He-Oh, yes. have got nerve enough
to do anything.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
To He Snrn.

Mlstress-And you say your brother
chOked to death2 What on2
Maid-On q chair ma'am. He was
eating dinner.--Indlanapolls Sun.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
A nenravnd Variety.

What kind of a town is that place
you've been visiting, Laura"
"Oh, it's the kind that always has a
rain going on when you get there"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

Does cook complain Of my healthy
appetizer
"Oh, no; she says she would rather
cook for six men with big appetites
than for one woman without any"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
TOO Late.

He-Your father ought to know what
have to say to him. have been com
ing here so long.
She-I am afraid he has given up all
hope.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
A VernaI Setback.

"Well, Jimmie, do you want gran'pa,
and pa and ma and Aunt Carrie to take
you to the circus?'
"No, pa; I'd rather go 'th Tommy
DObbs."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
CIose Quarters,

she-Am l really the first girl you
ever hugged?
He-Y-e-s; but I've made calls on
girls who lived in fats.-New Fork
Weekly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

Sharpson-You made $4,000 clear
last year, and yet you're complaining
Of your hard luck!
Phlatz-Well, blame It, look at that
49,"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Pre1iminarv Stan.

"Are you educating your child With
view to his future college csSeerT'
"Oh, yes; he's got to begin next
week and take drop of tabaseo sauce
three times a day."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

Teacher-Thomas, give me your idea
of the differences between curve and
an angle.
Tommy Tucker-My Aunt Ann is all
curves, and my Aunt Hepsy is all an
giles.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
On the Part of the Customers.

Proprietor (0f restaurant)-l DelleNe
our new cashier will bear watching.
Assistant-Bear It? Why she posi-
tIvely eniOys It!
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Welsh Language.

The poll taken of Cardiff, Wales, on
the question whether children in the
board schools should be taught the
Welsh language has resulted in ma
jority of 67 votes against it.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

Believe only half you hear" says
the proverb; but when woman tellG
you her age the chances are you will
hear only half what you believe.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Had Not Lit.

First Kansan-Did thet cyclone dam
age Jed Perkins house emmy?
Second Kansas-Dunno; 1t hain't III
yit.-Ohio State Journal
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

You know how other people bore you,
Look yourself over; maybe you have
the habit.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

Maud-How do you like our new
Clergyman
Mabel-Hes splendid. haven't
heard him preach yet, but he golfs
beautifully!
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

THAT engagement Of young Mr.
Dolley and Miss Klttlsh Is broken off"
what was the causeT
"O Dolley put his foot in 1t as usual"
"HowP
"He was trying to pay her a compll-
ment and said she'd been looking real
pretty the last few days.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

Clubberly-Just because | haven't
paid my bill for year, my tailor won't
make me another suit of clothes.
CastletOn-What will you dOI
81 shall threaten to take my trade
elsewhere"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Century In Office.

Hubbard B. Mcdonald, whose official
title is journal clerk to the United
States Senate, but who is in reality the
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
A Philosonher.

Wife-There's a burglar down cellar,
Henry.
Husband-Well, my dear, we ought to
be thankful that we are upstairs.
Wife-But he'll come up here.
Husband Then we'll go down cellar,
my dear Surely, a 10-room house ought
to be big enough to hold three people
without Crowding.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Business Rep1rtee.

Strange Lady-Whats the price of
this iron bedstead?
Dealer-Twelye dollars, madame.
Strange Lady-How much off II pay
cash?
Dealer-Madame If you don't pay
cash the bed is not for sale.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
The Darktown Minstrois.

"Mr. Johnsing, can you tole me
what's de difference between a SPAN
ish amusement an what a savage dog
gets out of a tramp?"
Oats too rich for me. What's de
answerT
"Its dead easy. One am bull fight.
de Odder q full bite"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE

Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
60 Have Been Recently Born-sayings
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Laughable-The Weeks Humor.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
"In Bed with the Grip"

The Spirits Calmer Retreat.
"Jones, next door, is getting old"
what do you go by?"
Hes quit talking baseball and gone
to talking garden"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07
Margaret Why, Kotharlne7

"Oh. he's the kind of man who al
ways calls when you are expecting
somebody else who doesn't come
Life
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

A Disagresab1e Characteristics.
Katharine detest that Mr., Titiing'
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-07

MRS. see by this mornings paper
that there is very little change in mems
trousers this spring
Mr.-Yes, | notice that.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31
Mann, Mo.

Ed. Reg;ster-The past week has been
beautiful weather.
Quite a number of our people are
sick with La Grippe.
Mr.. William Anderson has the
measles.
There was preaching Saturday night
and Sunday at Pleasant Valley church
by Rev. Paschal Buford.
Mr. VIM. Shelton and family visited
Mr.. E. w. Hughes Sunday.
Mr.. j. E. White, representative OF
a Computing Scale Company, of New
York, was here Saturday.
Mr.. E. L .Dutton made a business
trip to Ironton Saturday.
j. G. Hartman visited his father al
Belleview Sunday evening.
Mr.. B~isplinghof, one of the mer-
chants of Belleview, is selling his stock
of goods at cost. He intends TO retire
from business on the account of his
health.
Mr.. G. w. Black has rented Miss t.
Russell's farm and will move about the
1st of March.
Rev. Maynard, OF Middlebook, will
remove TO r. N. Bartlow's farm the
LIST of March, and Geo. Croker, who
now resides on the farm, intends to
remove to Iron Mountain.
Two gentleman were in this vicinity
trying to buy mules, but they seem to
be scarce.
Jan. 90, 1901. MANN.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31

Jesse Hawkins had an unpleasant
experience last Friday evening. He
had driven down from the Knob TO
attend a social affair here, and pitched
his horse to a convenient rack. About
eleven o'clock he started to Arcadia
before going home. and discovered bis
horse was limping horribly. 10 fact
the animal was in such evident agony
that he hitched her, and went for a
lantern in order that he might learn
the cause of the trouble. When he re-
turned she had broken loose and was
no where to be found. He searched
all night but could not locate her.
Next morning he received word from
animal was at his place. Jesse went
out, taking a blacksmith with him. and
found a big bolt run into the horses
hoof. The animal is badly crippled
but will probably be all right after a
few days. rest
Prof. Rob't. E. Wilkinson, superin-
tendent of the Presbyterian Sunday
School, was rendered a surprise by his
co-workers in the school Friday even
Ing last. The invited guests assembled
at the residence Of Mrs. NJ. A. Gay,
whence they departed in a body for
Prof. Wilkinson's home. He hadn't
even an inkling of the affair and was
thoroughly and completely surprised.
The welcome accorded the visitors was
none the less welcome. however q
the hours sped pleasantly and merrily
by. Rev. T. F. Marshall made a few
remarks to which Prof. Wilkinson ap-
p~ropriately responded. About half-past
nine o'clock the party repaired to the
Commercial Hotel where an elegant
and tempting luncheon had been pro-
vided. The tables were graciously
presided over by Mesdames j. H. Jones,
Nj. j. Francis, and r. w. Gay. each
of whom most happily discharged
the duties assigned them. Shortly be-
fore the midnight hour ''good-nights"
we're said, and the guests departed
all declaring the evening
to have been a successful and delight
full one. Those present we're: Mrs. NJ.
J.. Francis, Mrs. j. Fl. Jones, Miss
Blanche Fletcher, Miss Ruth Gay, Miss
Leila O'Neal, Mr.. and Mrs. Hawkins,
Mr.. and Mrs. Buford, Mr.. and Mrs.
Mann Ringo, DR.. and Mrs. Gay, Mr..
and Mrs. c.. S. Russell. Rev. Thos.
Marshall, Rev. Waterman, Mr.. Daugh-
erty, and Godfrey O'Neal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31
Personal.

W. T. O'Neal was in St. Louis this
week.
Mrs. L. G. Chambers was in st. Louis
last week.
w. Z. Bliss of Chicago was in the
Valley Sunday.
A. Roehry and j. Grandhomme we're
in st. Louis Wednesday.
Paul Steel's school closed last Friday
and he arrived home Saturday.
Jim Newman OF St. Louis is here
this week on q visit to his parents.
Rev. w. T. Chiles Of Dexter visited
the pastor at Fort Hill one day last
week.
Representative Horn and Emmei
Gunton were here from Jefferson City
last week.
Miss Leila O'Neal closed a six months
term of school at Hogan last Friday
and returned home the same day.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31

w. j. Lee, Jr.. returned from Brad
ford, Ark. on the 25th. inst, after ar
absence of two weeks.
Mr.. S. T. Golf has been on the sick
list with the la grippe.
Quite a crowd of young men from
Jordan Switch made a trip to Irontor
on Saturday, and from their appear
ance and behavior, they must have
been trying a well known antidote.
said to be good for everything.
Miss Jessie Holloman spent Sunday
in Ironton visiting friends.
Miss Leila O'Neal concluded a six
months school at Hogan on Friday the
25th. Miss Leila is a good teacher,
very thorough and painstaking in her
methods.
Julia Hourhan. ten year old neice OF
James Hourhan, tried the experience
of gallopIng her favorite pony down
hill, and as a result is suffering with a
fractured jaw.
Mr.. A. E. Bisch and family, Paul
Myers, and j. w. Lee, Jr., went to
Annapolis Monday evening to a dance.
Miss Effie Holloman is spending a
few days in Pennington.
Mr.. F. w. Sumpter and Miss Cara
were married at Glover, Mo-.
last Sunday and came to Hogan on
their bridal our.
J. B. Holloman will accompany Mr..
Geo. Gay and DR.. Marshall to Poplar
Bluff on the 9th of February to help
land the K. P. celebration at Ironton.
Miss Viola Gosney is visiting in
Hogan.
Mrs. Looney Bisch, of South st.
is visiting her SOD, Mr.. A. E.
Bisch.
Miss Dora Owens has returned to
Hogan after a weeks stay in Arcadia.
jim.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31
full, d~ininitive and sable friend, kindl,

full, diFninitive and sable friend, kindly
transmogrify this fiery representative
of the equine quadruped to your hos
telry; there stabulate him and admin
lister unto him and ample and sufficient
quantity o: nutritious aliment; and
when the rosy aurora gilds the eastern
horizon, and the circumambient beams
of phosphorescent light cast their pale
shadows athwart the azure canopy of
the ethereal regions, | will replenish
thy depleted exchequer aud award thee
an adequate compensation for thy hos
pitality." The darkey at first seemed
nonplussed, but after recovering him
self shouted: ..Say, boss! Come out!
Here's q stranger that can't talk any
thing but Dutch" I. T.. A. G.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31
A Deep Mystery.
MANN.

1t is a mystery why women endure
Backache, Headache, Nervousness,
Sleeplessness. Melancholy, Painting
and Dizzy Spells when thousands have
proved that Electric Bitters will quickly
cure such troubles. al suffered for
years with kidney trouble" writes Mrs.
Phebe Cherley, of Peterson, Ia, land
a lame back panied me SO I could not
dress myself. but Electric Bitters
wholly cured me, and, although rs
year old, I now am able to do all my
housework." 1t overcomes Constipa-
ton, improves Appetite. gives perfect
health. Only SOC. For sale by all
Druggists. D..
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31

Bears thu The Kind You Have Always Bought
''s, s : &NzZM
RDE OF PUBLICATION.

In the circuit court of Iron county, Mo-, In
vacation, January 20, 1901.
Warwick Hough, Plaintiff,
VS..
Eliza E. Pease, nee Eliza E. Van Doren,
and Claudius A. Pease, her husband, and
all unknown interested parties, defendants.
Petition to quiet title, etc..
Now at this day comes the plaintiff, by his
attorney, and files his petition, duly verified
by affidavit, setting forth, among other things,
that the defendants are non-residents of the
State of Missouri and that the ordinary pro-
cess of law cannot be served upon them. 1t
is, therefore, ordered by the undersigned,
Clerk of the Circuit Court of Iron County,
State of Missouri, in vacation, that publica-
ton be made notifying said defendants that
an action has been commenced against them
in the Circuit Court of said County, State
aforesaid, the object and general nature OF
which is to obtain a decree of said Court de-
claring the title to the following described
real estate to be vested in plaintiff, under and
by virtue of the statute to perfect title in such
case made and provided by section 653, page
262, Vol. I, Revised Statutes of 1899, to wit;
So much of lots 2 and 3 of the northwest
quarter of section q in township 80, north,
range 4 east, as is contained in the following
description, to wit: beginning at a point on
INC UnG DEIWCCu SCCtiUh q dku SCAttOh VI
same township and range where said line in
t~ersects the southern line of the Frederick
town and Arcadia road and running south on
said line dividing said sections to a point
I7.z2 chains; thence east to a point on the
line dividing said lots into east and west
halves, distant I7.oI chains south OF the SAID
| southern line of the Fredericktown and Ar
cadia road; thence north on said line divld-
ing said lots INTO east and west halves TO a
point where said line intersects the SAID
southern line of the Fredericktown and Area
dia road; thence westwardly along SAID
| southern line of the F~redericktown and Ar
cadia road to the point of beginning-con-
tanning 80 acres, more or less;
And to declare null and void an unsatis-
fed mortgage covering said real estate, bear
ing date September I4th, 1890, recorded IN
Transcribed Record from Madison County
at page e. And unless they be and appear
at the next term of said Court, to be holden
at the courthouse in the City OF %lronton,
within and for said County, State aforesaid,
on the fourth Monday in AprIn next, 1901, and
on or before the third day thereof, (f the
term shall so long continue; and if not, then
before the end of the term), and plead to
said plaintiffs petition, the same will be
taken against them as confessed.
1t is further ordered that a copy hereof be
published according to law in some weekly
newspaper published IN said County oil Iron,
ARTHUR HUFF, Clerk.
A true copy from the record:
Wines, my hand and official seal, this
10th of January, A. d. 1901.
TsEALl ARTHUR HUFF, Clerk.
Circuit Court, Iron County, Mo.
VIM. r. Edgar, Attorney for Plaintiff.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-01-31
Obituary.

The angel of death has again visited
our midst and to claim a kind and low
ing mother, Mrs. Devilla Lashley, the
wife of Mr.. Mark Lashley at $3.50
o'clock A. M, of January 20, 1901.
She leaves a husband and six sons and
a host of friends to mourn her loss, for
those that met her, always loved her.
She strew the pathway with sunshine,
for she was a good Christian and she
has gone to the blessed land of peace,
where parting is no more. She has
two sons and two daughters who are
waiting for her. This has destroyed
another happy home. for our kind and
loving mother is all that makes home
happy to US. She is sweetly sleeping
that peaceful sleep that will awake in
eternity, where the loved ones have
gone before. We deeply feel her loss
and may God comfort the loved one
left to mourn her loss. She was sixty
nine years old and the mother of ten
children. A FRIEND.