The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1901-09-06


PA, what is pre- glacial manT
why, man before he had 10 pay ice
bills. of course."-Detrolt Free Press.
But the gown doesn't it," insisted
the patron. That" replied the mo.
diste calmly, lis because you are not
made right."-Chicago Post
Scientists claim that all veg.
citation has gender" Wagg
course. Even bed has gender. Didn't
you ever hear OF boycottT'
Intended-"Well. Tommy. has your
mother told you of my good fortuney"
Tommy-"No. She only said she was
going TO marry you!'-Punch.
Those who have lots of money
Are often in trouble about IL;
And those who haven't cent
Are often IN trouble without t.
Chicago News.
Mrs. Goodsale-"To what do you at
tribute your appetite for strong drink?
Is IL hereditaryT Wragson Tatters-
mo. lady; it's thirst. t."-Phlladelphia
Press.
Young man." exclaimed her father.
with emotion, ''do you think you can
keep her in golf balls at the rate she
has been accustomed TO losing themy"
Puck.
The bookkeeper who had worked
twelve hours day for thirty years
paused TO look at the captivity OF q
canary. How pathetic" he ex-
claimed.-Life.
I'm thinking Of doing n little specu-
lating." said the lamb. whats the
best thing to put your money inT
"a safe deposit vault" replied the old
ird.-Philadelphia Press.
"lt seems strange to hear you speak
SO bitterly Of him. You used TO say
you admired him for the enemies he
has made" "Yes, but I'm one Of
them. now. w."-PhiIadelphi Press.
With all the wealth at his command,
Alas he had no family tree.
He bought dog. then killed IL and
Thus swiped the cannes pedigree.
Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Black - Am Lucy Jackson's
husband able TO go 10 wuck yitY"
Mrs. Johnson-"De docktah say he
am, but he say he am only les well
enough to inj'y loa1n'." - Brooklyn
Life.
Van Croke-"But, my dear fellow.
you can't afford to marry girl like
Ruth Richling" Van Broke-"On the
contrary, old man, / can't afford TO
marry any other girl" - Town and
Country.
Il am suffering from brain-fag,
doctah," said Saphelde. "Fish is good
foh that, isn't IT." VERY good" re-
piled the doctor. Suppose you begin
with medium-sized whale every
morning with breakfast"
"Is Mickey In condition. Hes as
fine as silk. All, Mickcy's a great boy
He's got something up his sleeve that'n
asstonsh all thin other buffers"
what is It, Mister Doolanp "Irs
his ar-r-rm. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
visitor-"so you weigh 200 pounds? {?
Doesn't II annoy you to have people
comment on your sizc?' Fat Man
"Oh, mol II / wasn't worried 20 death
with fool questions maybe I'd weigh
1000 pounds" - Chicago Record Her.
aid.
"He speaks OF making beadway in
the teeth OF the gale" remarked the
editor. "Falsew said the yachting cor
respondent, who knew there had not
been even n ripple. "Ah. then / Will
put IL the false teeth OF the gale. s.
Philadelphia Record.
"It Is sad TO see this mercenary
spirit so fiagrantly manifested In pol
tiles" said the earnest citizen. yes"
answered Senator Sorghum. II have
fought against It all / could. but It's
no use. / can't get people 10 vote my
way without payin' washing.
ton Star.
I'm ready" shouted the speaker,
"to meet calmly any emergency that
may arise" At this moment the plat
form collapsed, and the speaker cxhib-
tied great perturbation. How about
that oneY they asked him later.
''That one did not arise" he replied,
mournfully. Bits