The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-09-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Bridget, did you call the boysg''
=, ''Indade, an oi called thin iverythlng
~ cud think OF, but they wudn't 81 tupi'-
Brooklyn Life
At one OF the railway construction
works IA the vicinity Of a certain city
great interest in the zssembers Of his flock
y no are engaged al the cutting The other
and hailed him. but Pat simply looked
out the reverend gentleman accosted him
Pat, didn't you hear me eauing2
hes, your ravrince, I did. but-but i
had only the price Of oner'-Tit-Bita.
A guilty conscience. we have observed.
deaf - p ~ = '''s near ING % '-'
After all. Cervera got out Of the San
tlago sea night with the least trouble OF
any Of the chief commanders engaged IN
that rapidly growing memorable battle
Boston Herald
,,, Where are you gOinsg' asked the
Up TO detective headquarters" said the
safecracker. Il have reason to believe the
police are on my trail. Chicago Record
surfac e--I see that nearly all the rich
men Of today began their careers By
Deepun--Yes, a man who succeeds in
School directors can make hia xsv i2 AM "
where.-New York Weekly
NOW do you understand You are to
attract the farmer and his wife to the
front of the house and gave me a clear
Yes. I'll pound the front door and
groan and get EN- downstairs while yon
break IN the back way"
49, Yes, that's right Tell 'em you're very
But can hold EN- long enough for you
to ransack the house2n
I'm not going to -Tansacx the house.
IS INT, oil
But amt you going to get their
Money! OF course not. I'm after their
potatoes.''-Cleveiand Plain Dealer.
John Drew has produced a drama with
out villain That Is possible. but where
IS that dramatic he that can produce
drama without an angeif-Aansas city
Times
why do poets wear long hair2T asked
the young woman who Is anxious 10
my DEAR answered the young woman
who believes there Is no such thing as
poSts2 "-Washingto Star.
81 wonder why It is said the man who
is always annoyed, that children and
parrots pick up slang SO much more read
ny. than they do good English3 49,. m,
gentleman with spectacles. why it Is
member the refrain Of a silly song and 80
difficult to recall the text of a sermonI'-
Washington Star.
"Supposing I decide to let you have the
money. how do ] know that I shall get II
back at the time you MENTION asked
'lspromise it. my. boy, on the word Of
Ali in that case / may think better OF
it. Come around this evening and bring
him with you."-Iit- Bits.
Reporter-Doctor. may ask what your
opinion is of the alleged discovery OF tne
original Garden Of Eden in OhioY
/ ne tNtf- III. II Dti Nii AZ - stpf.tii a. ---
dear sir. II Adam mao been an ONO man
the devil himself couldn't have made him
lose his hold on his job.-Chicago Tribune.
Here is Georgia philosophy for you in
. Before rnaniin' yer light should shine
So said the scripture wise;
But some folks amt got light enough
To shine a 'possum's eyesi
''some folks that we're a-lnowin' here
Won't get to heavens gate;
They only read their titles clear
~ ~ Atlanta Constitution
To be well paid for poor work Is the
consolation Of the man who has arriv-
ed.-Life.
First Politician-Weu they're going
to nominate McMiller. Has he clean
record?
Second Politician-Clean as whistle.
Never was known to refuse a cash Of
fer.-Life.
Upgardson-You say Dave Hill is a
vas-er and Grover Cleveland is a has
been. What is the difference
Atom-WelI a was-er may become an
User. but a has-been is a dead-an-gon-
Tribune.
Wigg-''How did BONES break him
self of smoking2" Wagg-"He permit
ted his wife to buy his cigars"
S2.35.
St Joe, MO-, and Return via the Rock
Island Route
...-.----1... d 4. na