Middletown transcript., 1901-01-12


the neighborhood, and put halter round
your neck. 1 say, 1 might urge this, and
assume you to be an intelligent auditor.
But it strikes me as safer to assume you
capable of using pistol with effect at
three PAGES. With what might happen
subsequently, 1 will not pretend to be
concerned. 1t is sufficient that I dislike
the notion of being perforated. The
fate of your neck" He waved hand.
"Well, l have known you for just five
minutes, and feel but moderate interest
in your neck. As for the inmates of this
house, it will refresh you to hear that
there are none. 1 have lived here two
years with butler and female cook,
both of whom I dismissed yesterday at a
moments notice for conduct which I will
not shock your ears by explicitly man,
ing. Suffice it to say, 1 carried them of
yesterday to my parish church, two
miles away, married them, and dismis-
sed them in the vestry without charac-
ters. 1 wish you had known that butler
but excuse me; with the information
have supplied, you ought to find no diff
ficulty in fixing the price you will take
to clear out of my house instanter.
''Sir," answered, 81 have held pis-
tol at one or two heads in my time; but
never at one stuffed with nobler discre-
ton. Your chivarly does not, indeed,
disarm me, but prompts me to desire
more of your acquaintance. I have found a
gentleman, and must sup with him be-
fore / make terms"
TheNaddress seemed to please him. He
shufded across the room to a sideboard,
and produced a plate of biscuits, another
of almonds and dried raisins, glass and
two decanters.
"Sherry and Madeira" he said.
There is also cold pie in the larder, if
you care for il"
"a biscuit will serve" 1 replied. 'To
tell the truth, Pm more for the bucket
than the manger, as the grooms say; and,
by your leave, the brandy you were test
ing just now is more to my mind than
wine"
s'There is no water handy"
''There was plenty out Of doors to last
me with this bottle"
I pulled over chair, and laid my pis-
tol on the table, and held out the glass
for him to fill. Having done SO, he
helped himself to glass and chair, and
sat down facing me.
''I was talking, just now, of my late
butler," he began, with sip at his
brandy. "Has it struck you that, when
confronted with moral delinquency, I am
apt to let my indignation get the better
of me?"
''Not at all" answered heartily, re-
filling my glass.
It appeared that another reply would
have pleased him better.
"H'm. I was hoping that, perhaps, 1
had visited his offence too strongly. As
a clergyman, you see, was bound to be
severe; but upon my word, sir, since he
went 1 have felt like man who has lost
a limb"
He drummed with his fingers on the
cloth for few moments, and went on:
Zone has natural disposition to for
give butlers-Paraoh, for instance, felt
it. There hovers around buffers that
peculiar atmosphere which Shakespeare
noticed as encircling kings, an atmosphere
in which common ethics lose their peril
nence. But mine was rare bird-a
black swan among butlers. He was more
than a butler: he was quick and bright
ly-gifted man. Of the accuracy of his
taste, and the unusual scope of his en-
deavor, you will be able to form some
opinion when I assure you he modelled
himself upon me-"
I bowed over my brandy.
'T am a scholar; yet 1 employed him
TO read aloud to me, and derived pleasure
from his intonation. / talk as scholar;
yet he learned to answer me in language
as precise as my own. My cast-off gar
ments fitted him not more irreproach-
ably than did my amenities of manner.
Diyest him of his tray, and you would
find his mode of entering room hardly
distinguishable from my own-the same
the same alertness of carriage,
the same superfne Difference towards the
weaker sex. All-all my idiosyncrasies l
saw reflected in this my mirror; and can
you doubt that I was gratifed? He was
my alter ego-which, by the way, makes
it the more extraordinary that it should
have been necessary to marry him to the
cook"
'Look here" broke in; "you want
butler"
"Oh, you really grasp that fact, do
you?' he retorted.
"And you wish to get rid of me as soon
Is may be"
'I hope there is no impoliteness in
,omplimenting you on your discern
nent."
'Your two Wishes" said I, ''may be
Let me cease to be- your
burglar, and let me continue here as
your butler.''
He lent back, spreading out the fingers
# each hand as if the tables edge was a
and he stretching octaves |
Ipon it.
"Believe me-" 1 went on, "you might |
% worse. have been denny of Mag
allen College, Oxford, in my time, and
etain some Greek and Latin. I'll un-
ertake to read the Fathers with an ac-
ent that shall not offend you. My
of wine is none the worse for
aving been cultivated in other mems
ellars. Moreover, you shall engage the
gliest cook in Christendom, so long as
IN your butler. I've taken a liking to
fat-and 1 apply for the
ost."
81 give forty pounds year." said he.
"And Pm cheap at that price"