Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-28

was flushed. his eyes sparkled, and he
sat down In a reckless way and chuck
led and said:
"Yesh, Mishus Bowser. you are
mighty nice woman. I'm glad / mar
ried you, | am
For mercy's SAKE be quiet, or the cook
will hear you she cautioned.
What do we care for the cook? You
shay cant make speech, but 1 shay
l can. shay l can! shay
Yes. yes. / know"
Il can make a speech shame as Patrick
Henry You Just femme git started once,
and I'll bring down the house. Mishus
Bowsert-
Come. dear it's time to go to bed
she interrupted.
The words sent him along to the last
stage A feeling of ugly obstinacy came
over him. and pounding on the table with
his fist, he shouted:
"Mshus Bowser you can't fool me-!
mo one is trying to fool you, dear
mo, shir. you can't 60 it, You want TO
get me up stairs and assassinate me, but
you cant do II. ! know you. You've tried
to kill me fourteen different times, but
you cant 90 Il. I'm going to sit right here
for three years. l am"
She made no reply. and after looking
around In vacant way for minute he
burst out with:
y mo. amt, either. I'm going down to
"You-you have been drinking" she
gasped as she sternly gazed at him.
Me been shrinking? Ha. ha. ha! Why.
Mishus Bowser. how funny you talk!
just been shrinking shome of CHAT sum-
mer drink; zhat S an. My mozzer used to
make zhrink like ghat. you know. Poor
mozzerr
Look here, Mr. Bowser. the man who
prepared that keg for you must have nut
whiskey or brandy in It. You are good
as drunk What shame Let me get
you to bed at once"
Mr.. Bowser was getting tight according
to scale. He had begun with the "funny
feeling" Hgr words took him out OF that
and into the next scale, and, assuming a
look Of great dignity, he demanded.
Woman, be careful what you shay!
How dare you ever hint THAT I'm intox-
tox-icated?"
But you must be-" she persisted.
Never, woman-never! When you shee
Mr.. Bowscr the worse for zhrink, you will
shee the end Of the world! Take back
your vile improvisation
'.It is probably only slight giddness.
she said as she schemed to get him up
stairs.
that's adjust giddiness. I'm a siddy
old thing, you shee. No, won't come to
bed. 1 want to sit NJ and shee the old
year out"
Mrs. Bowser realized that she could do
nothing until he had changed his mind,
and she sat down to wait. The cat came
In from the back yard and took long
squint at Mr.. Bowser. and as she saw now
things were she purred few bars OF
Dad Got En- Again. and took w
position on the lounge to await further
Developments Mr.. Bowser's next scale
was that of the sorrowful.
All at once it flashed upon him that his
mother was no more. and with tears run
ming down his cheeks he walled out:
'.Mishus Bowser how can you sit there
like THAT when you know my poor raozzer
Is dead?"
She had no answer to make ana, preak-
ing into sobs. he continued:
Poor, poor mozzer L was her only
shon. When | think That she is dead and
gone
For FIVE minutes Mr.. Bowser gave way
70 his grief. When he raised his head. he
had passed on to the next step, and, dry
ing his eyes. he flourished his arm and
uttered a laugh and exclaimed
"Whoopee. Mishus Bowser. I'm going
to show you THAT l can make the best
speech you ever heard"
He rose UP and lurched out Into the hall
and she followed and coaxed and en-
treated, but as she got hold Of his hat
he turned on her with:
Woman. shay no more to me- This is
not a happy home. and I'm going down
to the club. Lego my arm!
AS he fumbled at the door some one
came up the steps. AS he opened 1t he
collided with a man. They grappled In
the collision, swayed to and fro for
moment. and then Mr.. Bowser fell back
ward into the hall and dragged the man
with him. There was mix UP and yeils
of surprise, and then the stranger broke
loose, and without waiting TO pick up his
hat he went down the steps and over the
fence like a midnight shadow. Mrs. Bow
ser closed the door and looked down upon
the fallen. He was snoring where he fell.
Descending to the cellar. she knocked the
spigot out Of the summer drink key. told
the cook what she would have for break
fast. and as che passed UP stairs for the
night she urned down the gas all around
and left the slumberer to the gentle dark
nsss Of peaceful sleep.