davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17

Mrs. McShantee triumphantly)-"I see we
are takin' in washin' again, Mrs. Nc
Proudee!"
Mrs. McProudee (whose husband has lost
a paying job)-''Sure. it's only to amuse tn
chiIder They wants tn windies covered
wild steam, so they can make pictures on
Thin New York Weekly.
Visitor $50 you weigh 700 pounds?
Doesn't 1t annoy you to have people COM
ment on your size?'
Fat Man-"Oh, no! If L wasn't worried to
death with fool questions maybe I'd weigh
LOCO pounds. Chicago Record-Herald.
'.Rliffkins doesn't look well. Wonder
what's the matter with him?'
Hes working himself to DEATH"
TOO badi Why don't he let up bit?'
He can't. He's trying to lower his golf
record. Colorado Springs Gazette.
Minister-"If any one present can show
cause why this couple should not become
joined together as man and wife, let him
speak or for ever hold his peace"
Little Tommy kin, mister. He thinks
aunties only twenty-five. and she's forty!'
-Tit-Bits.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17
Italy and Plumber.

From the Fortnghty Review.
All Italian public life has it's outcome IN
parliament. The deputies are the magma
pars Of all work and initiative and of
every business arrangement both legal
and Illegal. 1t is. therefore, to the depu-
ties that these innumerable persons turn
for employment, favors and government
contracts. The public departments are
populated with creatures of ministers and
the constituents Of deputies; posts are
given to proteges and not in return for
true worth. Thus ignorance and mediocre
ty. If not absolute dishonesty, reign su-
preme in every branch Of public life All
tenders for supplying the army all tenders
and contracts for supplying the state and
communes. are in the hands of powerful
spectators. who keep the deputies under
their control. and obtain from them all
they desire. Works are started whose true
usefulness never existed; contracts are
made which in the end turn out ruinous
for the government, and arrangements are
entered upon in which the government is
always finally the loser. And yet all this
seems a trif1e when we consider that
schools. libraries and public offices are in
many instances occupied by men who are
rarely. mentally, on a level with their task !;
when we remember that the posts in many
OF the state departments are given. not
earned. And this. in turn, becomes insig-
nificah when we point out that it is well
known in Italy that the accomplIces of the
Sandman brigands. the Calabrian brigands
and the members of the Camorra and
Malta OF Sicily and Naples are deputies
mayors and municipal councillors, and
sometimes even high magistrates and pre-
fects Now, all this strife Of private In
terests and grasping hands presses upon
the state in every section of its vital mani
festations, and consequently lessons it's
power. The result is that this fair land Of
Italy Is plundered prey with a price set
upon her head by registered knaves who
impose themselves upon the populace or
make themselves necessary to the govern
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17
ae24a<s,-s At ~
%<41- -e<La@
50 Copeland ST.,
Quincy, Mass.

it was known that there was a Presbyte-
rian college in that city called Robert Col
lege. That was success gained because
of the general information possessed by the
expert who read the address.
This letter, it was learned afterward,
contained a check for 1880. Now and
then some one who wishes to test the eff
cheney of the department in delivering let
tiers will send a letter with an address liz
an arbitrary cipher, and even such letters
have been delivered. The 5000 illegible
letters of the nearly half million that
went to the departments two women eX-
perts that were delivered were delivered
unopened.
Where Duplicates Bother.
There is large class of letters that could
be delivered were there less duplication of
names of towns and streets in this country.
There are 125 Marion streets. and although
some letters might be delivered If sent to
every town with a street by that name, yet
the impracticability of undertaking such a
task Is apparent. Many towns not only
have their names duplicated scores of
times throughout the United States, but
they occur frequently in the same state.
Were it not for this duplication the abb
sence of the name Of county and state
would frequently not prevent a safe deliv-
cry of a letter.
1t is rare that second effort is made to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17
The Bathing Machine.
n Chambers Journal.

Among other evolutions. Margate wit
messed the birth Of the bathing machine
Up to the middle Of the eighteenth century
bathers were carried out to sea in a covered
cart recruited from the ordinary farmyard
Upon the active mind of a local Quaker,
one Benjamin Beale. there flashed the idea
Of the caravan that may be seen to this
day in some of Keen's pictures, with its
pendent covering of canvas, umbrella
shaped, capable of being let down or drawn
up at the pleasure of the modest bather.
Sad to say. Mr.. Beale, like some other
public benefactors. lost his fortune in the
endeayor to populariZe his invention. He
died in extreme proverty, and a grateful
town, beginning to prosper under the
shadow Of his big umbrella, provided his
widow with a home in the Diapers aims
house, where, aged ninety, she died, bab-
bling of bathing machines and of mans
iugratitude
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17

The c6atless man puts a careless arm
Round the waist of the Ia tless girl
As over the dustless and mudless roads
In q horseless carriage they whirl,
Like leadiess bullet from a hammerless gun.
By smokeless powder driven,
They fly TO taste the speechless joy
By endless union given.
Though the only lunch his coinless purse
Affords to them the means
Is tasteless meal OF homeless cod
With side OF stringless beans.
He puffs tobaccoless cigarette,
And laughs q mirtkless laugh
When papa tries to coax her back
BY wireless telegraph
--Bestsa Herald.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17

terS to the number Of 1G,1l4. How these
women succeed so well in delivering let
tiers that have been pronounced undeiver-
able involves a story OF specialization, u
story which shows what can be done by
bright minds that have been devoted 10 a
specially.
An Experts knowledge.
The art Of deciphering the illegible let
tiers requires knowledge of good many
things. Those who do the work must know
a good deal about various languages, for it
often happens that foreigners misdirect
their letters as well as make great blum
ders in writing English. the key to which
is a knowledge of their own language.
These experts must have familiarity with
geography that would permit them to Sc
cure a marking Of 100 per cent IL they
were to go before the civil service commits
sion. They must know something about
cities, their business and residence streets
and about prominent people and business
firms. OF course. they have some books
Of reference. A letter addressed to a
Catholic priest with only his name a
guide to it's delivery may be sent forward
after consulting the Roman Catholic d.
rectory of the United States. In cases
OF streets of unusual names 1t sometimes
to delivery Of the letter. If no city or
state is given in the address A letter adj
dressed to Prof Washburn. Robert Col
lege," with no other guide to it's delivery,
was forwarded to Constantinople, because
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17
Investment and Speculation.
rom the Cornhill.

When any one Is buying coat, or a fish,
ing rod, or rose tree, or laying down a
cellar. or setting up library, either he
knows what he wants. where to get 1t and
what to pay for it, or else he takes ear
nest counsel with his friends and with the
most trustworthy professional advisers that
he can find, and uses all the wits that he
and others can bring to bear on the subject
in order to make sure that his purchase
is prudently conducted He attends sales,
rummages in shops and discusses the mat
ter in his club until he and 1t are voted a
nuisance. If only half as much time and
trouble were devoted to the careful seleG
ton Of investments there would be fewer
bad companies, INSCRIPTIONS promoters
and ornamental directors. the world would
be very much richer and its riches would
tionable hands.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17
InmateriaI.

Mrs. Grogan-"Little Patsy siz phwhin
he grows up he wants ter git job workin'
fer Dick Croker"
Mrs. Hogan-'Doin' phwhat?"
Mrs Grogan-"Either mayor or Jockey,
he don't care phwhich."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17
& sr,sr AAa~es Rs.~eAs
StaU e4ns7f as,nss1oa
hwAHeAEh1e
M II
Ripple, Ia.

ters. They can do little more than glance
at each address and If its Interpretation
does not suggest itself promptly il is put
aside. The past year red letter
period for the experts, as they succeeded
in delivering more of the badly addressed
letters coming to them than ever before in
the history of the Post Office Department
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17

From Life.

Say. pop. I've got to write composition
on Hope What Is Hope anyway"
Hope. my boy. Is the joyous expectation
OF being able to dodge our Just deserts.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-17

tMIorxuo.Entm5
III ba6En6@)W.EmNJ6m
bgGhGd 10.
TNtT
Mr.. Edward White,
~ Chestnut street,
Cleveland. Ohio.
cities was an indication To the experts that
led to the delivery of the letter. 1t often
happens that prominent feature of some
well-known advert isement will appear on
an envelope and lead to its delivery, al
though it may not have any other rela-
tion to the address
Two Clever Women.
The two experts who have long done
this difficult work Mrs. Patti Lyle Cot
Inns and Miss Caroline Chlds All of this
work is done by them, so that 1t will be
seen they have no time to devote to any
extensive investigation which might lead
TO the delivery Of more of the illegible let
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
LANES HEADINGTON.

James Headington was born near Wheeling,
West Va, October 9th, 1911, and died at his
home in Canoe township. three and one-half
miles north of this city, on the 9th day OF
December, 1900. He had lived the unusual
period of two months more than eighty-nine
years, and passed away not from disease but
from genuine old age. While yet young
boy, he, with his parents, removed to Knox
Co., Ohio where he resided fourteen years.
There he lost his wife and two children. Two
children were buried in Knox County. In 1856
he was married TO Mrs. Barbara Hammel.
who bore him one child. In the fall of 1859
he with his family came to Wlnnesheik
county, Iowa, where he purchased the farm
on which he has since resided. AS the years
passed he grew into patriarchal relation TO
numerous relatives as well as acquaint ances,
byall of whom he was much loved and respect
ed for his hospitality. genial disposition ana
sterling qualities as man of business.
His wife died In 1865, and the surviving
children are Mrs. Joseph Everly, living at
Cuba, Mo-, Mrs. Sarah Huffman, living at
Lucerne, Mo-, Mrs. John Stortz, OF Canoe
township, Jacob Headington, OF Hesper:town-
ship, b. f. Headington, of this city, Ross and
George A., both living on the home farm. OF
the grandchildren there are many.
The funeral services were conducted by
Rev. NJ. Willett, of DEBORAH, held at his
residence on Sunday. Dec. Soth, at I:3O O'Clock,
where he was followed to his last resting
place by a large body of relatives and friends.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
MOUNTAIN AIR.
why II Is More Healthful Than That
of Lower Attitudes.

why II Is More HeaIthful Than That
of Lower Attitudes.
The only reason why mountain air
is healthier than low air Is that noun
tain air is cleaner than low air. The
chemical composition of the atmos-
phere differs but little, if at all, wher-
ever the sample be taken. On Pixies
peak the relation Of oxygen to nitro
gen and other constituents Of the at
mosphere is the same as at the level
Of the ocean. The favorable effects
therefore of a change of air are not to
be explained by any difference in the
proportion Of its gaseous constituents.
One important difference. however, is
the meteorological one. The air of
high attitudes contains no microbes
and is, in fact, sterile, while near the
ground and some 100 feet above IL
microbes are abundant.
In the air of Chicago and other.
crowded places not only does the mi
crobe impurity increase, but other i'm
purities. such as the products Of COM
bustion of coal, accrue also. Several
AhNCstiSdtOlo navy louiiu VI ~
drogen and certain hydrocarbons in
the air, and especially in the air Of pine,
oak and birch forests. 1t is to those
bodies, doubtless consisting Of traces
Of essential oils, to which the curative
effects Of certain health resorts are
ascribed. Thus the locality of fr
forest is said to give relief in diseases
Of the respiratory tract. But all the
same, these traces Of essential oils and
aromatic products must be counted,
strictly speaking, as impurities. since
they are not apparently necessary con.
stituents oil the air. AS recent analy-
ses have shown, these bodies tend to
disappear in the air as higher alti-
tude is reached until they disappear
altogether Dispatch.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
OBITUARY.
MRS. j. M. COVE,


Susan Coonely was born In Ohio, March 20,
1915. AT the death of her father, who.was lost
at sea, she was adopted by Mr.. and Mrs. Bene-
dict and came west with them in 1868, locat-
ing in this county. She was united in marri-
age to j. M. Cove, April rs, 1855, and they
lived in different parts of the county until
1879, when they moved to DEBORAH, where
they have since resided. For some time past
they have lived with their daughters,
at their home on West Broadway. Mr..
and Mrs Schall returned on Friday evening
from trip to La Crosse, and at that time
Mrs. Cove was unusually well, and had been
fora week, She spent the evening in CONVEX.
sation with the family, seemingly bright and
cheerful, and retired about eleven o'clock. A
few moments later she was taken seriously
ill, and grew rapidly worse until the end came
at eleven o'clock Saturday morning The
cause of her death was Bright's Disease and
heart trouble. Mrs. Cove was member of
the Friends church at Hesper, and lived a
Christian life, spent in loving care for her
family, and in doing good to those about her.
The funeral services were held from the home
of her daughter, Monday, Dec. 81, 1900, Rev.
Dr. NJ. Willett officiating. Her husband and
three children, Mrs Carrie Cove Schall, Mrs.
May Cove Woodward, and Charles II. Cove
of this city, and one brother, George H.
Coonely, OF Chicago, survive her, two children
having died in infancy.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
Agricultural Meeting:

The Winneshiek County Agricult-
ural Society will meet at the Court
House at DEBORAH on Friday Jan. 18th,
1901 at 80, P. M. for the purpose of
selecting officers for the ensuing year,
and for the porpose of making pre-
limiLery arrangements for the fair of
1901.
1t is hoped that all who are interest
ed in the Winneshiek County fair will
attend this meeting. We wish to call
the attention of every citizen of Win
nesheik County to the fact in order to
hold successful fair we must have the
cooperation of all, and we want all to
feel at liberty at any time to help US in
any way by offering suggestions etc.
We hope to profit by the experience
and success of the out going officers.
We hope to procure line of attractions
that will interest aud entertain every
one; that has never before been equal
led in Winneshiek County.
Liberal premiums will be offered in
all classes, and we hope that all will
begin at once to arrange to exhibit
something next fall. While the
management will do everything in
their power we want the influence and
support of all to make the fair of 1901
better than any previous fair ever held
in the county. Remember the dates
Aug. ~, 2S, 20 and 30.
X. 1. HAUGEN, Pres.
r. F. TYLER, Secy.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
"LEr US SHAKE HANDS. y


agement, but the cold, selfish world
would not give it to me. You Of all
men were different. You made me a
coat. You demanded no pay In ad-
vance. You sent it to me when done.
Don't you believe appreciate this no
bility Of soul on your partT
"The bill-my $11," replied the tailor
without any signs Of melting.
"After months and months Of strug-
Cling against adversely the tide turn
ed" continued the major. Il was a
pauper one day and a millionaire the
next. / could pay $4,000 for 81. l
remembered your little bill, but l had
an object in not rushing check to
pay it. My heart was soft and tender
toward you. You had reposed conf
dence in me, and / wanted to reward
you
"The bill must be paid today, major,
or will sue for It,"
"And the man who shows his conf
dence in the financial integrity Of Ma
jor CrofoOt makes no mistake. l could
have put you into any of the half doz-
en- syndicates l have promoted in the
last six months and helped you to
make good thing of it, but those good
things were not good enough for the
man who had put faith in my honor.
l waited to give him something better,
and today l was going to send for
you"
81 don't believe It," was the blunt
reply. However, I'm here, and want
my money"
81 was going to send for you," calmly
continued the major, land tell you to
sell out your business at once and at
a sacrifice and to be ready in two days
to take the vice presidency of the Uni
versal Fishball company. The salary
will be $4,000 per year to begin on,
and / have secured you $4,000 worth
of stock at ground flopr prices. You
know what a fishball is, Of course
You know
"Look here, major" said the tailor,
with disgust ON his face, you can't put
me off with no fishball business. Put
me $11 right down, or IN suer'
you KNOW tudl uSuDdll DedtS
any other sort Of food for breakfast.
The rich won't do without 'em, and the
poor will go without Ice or milk to get
'em. Why, sir, would as soon think
Of being without bank account as
without my fishballs, and know you
would sell your shirt II necessary to
get them. 1t Is so with all others In
America. The fishball is indigenous to
the United States, and its true home is
here, but with proper encouragement
we can work up taste for 1t in Eu-
rope. i have already arranged TO send
the Prince of Wales dozen In box,
and II we can once get him to recon.
mend 'em English orders will come
pouring In till we can't fill 'em. I'll
send box to France and another to
Germany, md l look for the most
favorable results. My dear sir, let me
congratulate you. Let us shake hands,"
'Then you won't pay my bill?" asked
the tailor.
eve call 'em flshballs." continued
the major as he fingered checkbook,
''but they needn't necessarily be all
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
THE GRAND SCHEMER
HIS TAILOR CALLS ON HIM TO COL
LECT HIS LITTLE BILL.
And Major CrofOot, Grateful For the
Credit Extended to Him. Takes the
Man of the Shears Into the Univer-
sal Fishball Company.
Copyright, 1900, by c. B. Lewis. ]


sal FishbaII Company.
copyright, 1900, by C. B. Lewis.l
When Major Crofoot reached his Of
flee the other morning, he found his
tailor at the door. The tailor had been
there for an hour He had bill in his
hand. and he was determined to present
it in person. The major looked bit
startled at sight of the creditor he had
been lodging for seven months, but in
breath he pulled himself together,
claimed
"By George, but this is curious Co
incidence indeed! Talk of mental te-
legraphy, but your face was before me
as struck the first STARR
"Major Crofoot, am here
Eyes, yes; you are here about a little
bill, and am glad of it. Come in and sit
down Do you know, that little bill Of
Sill has worried me more than some Of
$4,000. / have wondered and won
dered why you didn't present it."
But l have mailed it to you about
~ llucS. tACidiiucu tut
Strange, strange! l must see the
postal authorities about it at once"
"And l have sent it here by boy at
least ten times"
''By boy? And the boy never pre-
sented it! | wish you would get me
that boys name. A dozen different
times / have been on the point of send
ipg you check, but l was afraid you
might take it that l wanted to close
the account between us. l finally de-
cided to wait until you dropped in"
well, l am here" said the tailor,
"and now how about this billY'
"Yes, you are here, and l am sorry to
see that look Of grim resolution on your
face. You were one of my earliest
friends and creditors. When / called
on you and got measured for a new
coat, the world was against me. All
wanted was q little time and encour-
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09

fish. Make 'em Of beef. mutton, pork.
fowl, what you will, but flavor 'em
with extract of fish and put 'em up In
fancy boxes. six to a box. All the
cook has to do is to set 'em in the oven
for three minutes before eating. Five
cents a ball, or six for quarter, and
the profit is Go per cent. / figure that
we will have ten factories going in
side of three months. Do you want
anything better than this? Isn't this
bread ON the waters for the trust re-
posed in me?"
"But | came here for $11w almost
shouted the creditor as he saw himself
being wound up.
"When this stock was issued, l
thought of you. The first 100000 was
put up ut 40 cents on the dollar. l
wasn't satisfied to give you the vice
presidency. l wanted you to make at
least $4,000 a year out of your divi-
dends. l did what / ought to have
done for the best friend have in the
world. took that $11 l owed you and
used it to secure your stock. 1t wasn't
half enough, but you can pay me the
balance at your leisure. Some time
after we get things started you can
hand me your check for it,"
"And you mean to say I'm owing
you?
"But don't worry about 1t, my dear
man; don't worry. It's mere flea
bite. When you draw your first $4,000.
we'll square up so as to keep the books
straight. Major Crofoot Is a man who
returns confidence for confidence Can
you be ready to take your position In
two days?"
by thunder, but this is game to do
me upr' shouted the tailor as he
stamped around in great excitement.
I'D like you to take an active inter
est as soon as possible, as I may pro-
mote three cornered pie company
next month, but you can have a week
in which to sell your tailor shop and
get your hair cut. By the way, you'd
better look out for horse and car
rage. AS vice president Of the Uni
versal Fishball company you'll be ex-
pected to sling on more or less style.
I might go out with you this afternoon
to look at some diamonds for your
wife il you have time. AS said be.
fore. as to that little balance between
US, don't let it bother YOU"
'Then you won't pay meY
"That is about all today" blandly re-
piled the major as he opened the door
and beamed upon his creditor. Three
days hence we turn out our first box OF
fshballs, and they 20 to the president
Inside Of week he will telegraph us:
Nothing like 'em on the face of the
earth. Send me a carload My dear
man, Golconda is within our grasp.
I've let you into the biggest thing Of
the twentieth century, but want no
thanks for 1t. AS am very busy this
morning.
"My SIR shouted the tailor as the
door closed on him.
No answer.
"Major Crofoot, you are an old dead
beat.
No answer.
"And I'll stay right here till Satur.
day night to get sight of you and punch
your headr'
But he didn't. When a gravelike ST.
lence had continued for five minutes,
he got discouraged and scuffied his
way down stairs. NJ. QUAD.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-01-09
THE LOCAL MARKETS.
Auction Sale.

Auction every Saturday afternoon
beginning Dec. 18th 1900. My stock
of Hardware must be closed out in the
next As days. The lease on the build
ing expires by that time and / am
determined to close out and quit the
business. This is a snap to buy all
kinds of hardware at cost and below
cost as / will sell at great sacrifice
sooner than store them away. Two
doors west of post Office.
JOHN FINN.