The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1901-10-11
WINsOME WAY.

young ones out to air EN-, pensively re-
marked the young uncle of a large brood of
nephews and nieces. | won't forget to
have gags of proper strength and effective
ness along with me. Last Sunday morning
l cropped in upon my married sister, who
lives on the hill. She had just got through
dressing her little angel che-ild, No. 8,
Mildred, seven years old. The young one
looked so cute and nice that [ concluded to
take her out for a car ride over to the house
OF my other married sister, who lives in the
northwest. Mildred had a heap to say on
all sorts of subjects from the minute that
we started for the car, but when we got on
the car she seemed to be wound up like a
Strasburg clock, and the way that young
one caused the hot f1ushes to crowd them
selves over my shy, unobtrusive frame was
something sinful. The first person of whom
she took notice on the car was a masculine
looking woman, sitting across the aisle,
whose upper lip was provided with sufficient
hlrsute to make a very youthful man enyi-
Gus. Little Mildred sized this woman up
carefully for about half a minute and then
she turned to me and remarked in an awful
whisper, with her hand at her mouth:
Uncle Dave, just look at that lady's
mus-tash!"
The other passengers grinned, of course,
but the woman with the unnecessarily
adorned upper lip scowled at me in a man
ner that caused me to feel for my physical
safety. | muttered a few little things in
my niece's ear as to the propriety of young
ones keeping under cover, but she was too
busy looking out of the window to pay much
attention to me. About three squares fur
Their down a very large muscular-looking
black man got on the car and took a seat
directly opposite US. His eyes, to say the
least, were strangely independent of each
other. Mildred looked him over solemnly
for a short space, and then she prodded me
gently and let out another Of those hor-
rible audible asides of hers.
"Um-m-m, unkle,' she said, nodding in
the direction of the black man, but amt he
cross-eyed, thought"
The black man tried hard to get a focus
on my face with his twisted eyes without
actually succeeding, but he looked like a
real mad Nubian giant, all the same. and
| expected for a minute or so that he'd
come at me with a razor. Again | told my
little angel niece that she was becoming
but she's had ME down for a good thing
since her birth, and she never pays mucn
attention to what | say.
As the car was rounding into Indiana
avenue a very plain-looking fat woman
opened her mouth to ask the conductor to
stop the car. Opening her mouth, she re-
vealed a singular upper front tooth-a molar
that looked grotesque and uncanny, if only
tor its lonesomeness. That tooth instantly
seized upon Mildred's Imagination.
My, but what a tusk!" she whispered
to me in a tone that was all the more au-
dlble because the car was near the stop
ping point. The woman with the solitary
front tooth bestowed a glare of the utmost
lll-feeling upon me, and no doubt she
would have stopped to haul me over the
Goals had she had time before getting off.
| leaned over to little Mildred and told her
that she stood only about one chance in a
million of ever being taken out again by
me, but Mildred was too much immersed
just then in studying the figure of a young
woman who had just boarded the car to
take any note of my threat. This new pas
seager was assuredly a very slender young
person-one OF those naturally emaciated
young women Who can't get even reason
ably stout no matter how hard they try.
Her entire absence of figure was, of course,
the young woman's misfortune, and it was,
OF course so regarded by all of the pas
sengers, in the car-except Mildred. Mildred
UliC IC az SltC up dliu NONNH III
car for a seat, and finally sat down, and
then this lovable little niece of mine looked
up at me archly and remarked with Win
some ~distinctness:
Dear me, but isn't that poor lady
SKINNY"
Well we were yet too far from our des-
t~ination to leave the car and walk, yet |
began to think that at this rate | stood a
good even money chance to get myself
mobbed. Consequently, | took up Il plead
ing tone with little Mildred and implored
her for my sake, if not for her own. to
pipe down. or words to that general effect.
She looked at me in big-eyed innocence
and inquired what was the matter. and for
awhile she was very good and quiet. Then
there entered the car a big young man,
logged out in clothes that were obviously
his Sunday best, with one of those GRO
cheted ~four-in-hand ties. and all that sort
Of thing.
Mildred fidgeted about in a seat for
awhile. and then got to looking at this
splendiferously arrayed artisan. His huge,
red hands seemed to make an especial hit
with her. She looked at them steadily for
about three minutes, and then she gazed
up at me mlrthfully.
"Unkle did you ever see such freckles
on Il mans hands in your life:" she asked
me, sweetly.
Well, the plumber, or piano mover, or
whatever he was, across the way heard it,
and he didn't know for a minute whether
to get sore or not. He flushed and looked
down at his hands, and then he grinned
at the child and at me. knew then that
it was all right so far as he was concerned,
but | wouldn't nave had the poor fellows
feelings hurt like that for q mint, How
ever, there was nothing to be done. and
so | grinned back at him sheepishly. and
had to let it so at that. We were nearing
our destination, and | figured it out that
perhaps Mildred had executed her last
stunt. But | was mistaken. We were only
two squares from our g%etting-otf place,
when a well-dressed man with a fine coun-
tenance and friendly eyes got aboard. His
amiable and well-molded face was sadly
married, but decidedly not spoiled. by the
fact that it was badly pock-marked.
He must have suffered awful, Ell,
unkle?" remarked my delightful little niece
to me just as | signaled the conductor to
stop the car. The man with the pock-