davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
IN THE WRONG OFFICE.

From the Washington Star: Yes,
DOCTOR" remarked tie agitated young
woman in the physicians office, the
dear little thing seems TO be teethlns'
and he means and whimpers so pitt
fully, and, really. | don't Know
to do"
How old?" inquired the medical
man. soothingly.
He's just three weeks n TWO
days old. and
"My." remarked the phyician, but
that's pretty young for tsethins to De-
gini"
Yes" she continued, and the poor
little things hair is coming out SO
d~readfuliy. and
Hair coming out" exclaimed the
doctor. MY lear madam. are you
quite certain that
Yes" she went on. and IL you SO
much as touch his little face he snaps
at o SO dreaafully and -
Extraordinary" interrupted the
physician. Snaps, you say! why
there must
And I have given him peregoric.
but the poor little thins doesn't seem
to be able to keep the stun on MS
stomach, and"
but that Is q relic of barbarism. 10
serve out huge doses OF paregoric to
young"
And he won't even touch the milk
give him, in his little saucer. but
Madam, you give a 3-weeks-oid
young one milk In q saucer,,"
And he does nothing but race from
one room to another and keeps jump
ing up on the eoverlet of the best bed.
and"
Three weeks old and racing from
one room to another, and jumping on
the beds!"
And he's so terribly anxious to
chew things-to sharpen his poor lit
tie toofens. l suppose-that he has
eaten up two of my hats and a pair OF
Jacks slippers and four palm leaf
fans and the leather bindings of two
volumes Of Macaulay's History OF
England and
"Oh," exclaimed the medical man,
a great light breaking in upon him.
Madam. my time is very limited. l
am very busy. Moreover, homeopathy
has not yet advanced sufficiently far
to render its practitioners capable of
diagnosing the teething difficulties OF
fox terriers, There's a dog doctor in
the next block. four doors to the right.
Good morning. madam-g-o-o-d morn
ing!"
Did you ever hear of anything SO
horribly rude in you life?" inquired
the young woman in telling her hus-
band of it that evening.
But her husband was rushing into
the parlor TO look after the fox terrier
pup, which was gnawing holes in the
leather couch and was scattering the
excelsior stufing impartially around
the room.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Fewer Homicide. in tn. Army.

Surgeon General Sternberg has pre-
pared statistics making a comparison
of cases OF suicide and homicide which
occurred in the army during the years
of 1898 and 1899 compared with the
10 years between 1888 and 1897. 1t
shows that there were relatively fewer
homicides during those two years than
during the previous decade. The aver
age number of suicides per year In an
army Of 27.116 for the 10 years was
II. The ratio per thousand was 63
per cent. The strength of the army
in 1898 is given at lat. 795. the aver
age number Of suicides 3S. and the
percentage per thousand 26. The
strength of the army In 1899 Is given
at 105 ,546. and the number OF suicides
at 30; ratio per thousand .2S per cent.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Soldiers on tho March.

The foot soldier is an a~nachronfsm.
as archaic as the man at arms with
his halberd or the archer with MS
cloth-yard shaft. The modern iool
soldier is not only a fighting machine,
he Is also a beast Of burden. and no
man can be both with success. Inc
American in%fantryman equipped lot
war Is weighted down with rife, bayo-
net, ammunition, clothing. sheiler
tent. water bottle and haversack, IN
all some sixty pounds in weight. II is
a common belief that a soldier Is 30
strong and hardy that he does mol ieei
the burden; that he can march ten or
fifteen miles with sixty pounds ABOUT
his body and not mind 1t; that, Ike
the w%ell-trained athlete, who thrives
under violent exercise, he enjoys hav-
ing To transport all this parapherna-
liza. Now. as a matter OF fact, thai
is the one thing of all others which
the soldier despises. He doesn't mint
the fighting; he can put up with the
heat or cold, and, although he may
erowl when his rations are short, he
accepts that as part of the days work.
but to turn himself into q porter. to
be a coolie and the bearer oil burdens
is a thing he abominates. There Is
nothing more depressing to the spirit,
nothing more deyitalizing, nothing
which makes a greater drain on a mar
thai a march. There is nothing pic
-~%Ltu- ovhi1aratinR nnfh-
ing to break the horrible monotony OF
this seemingly interminable plodding
through baking dust or clogged mud
or chilling snow, says a writer in the
Forum, All the color of war has gone.
There are no bands to make men for
get their fatigue; no waving plumes
n futtering flags to excite the i'm
agination. no spectators TO stimulate
/ pride-there Is no scenery even. war
Is now a monochrome; everyone dress
es the same, Khaki loses its semblance
of color and takes on the color OF the
dirt or mud OF the country through
which the army marches. and no man
sees more than the man In front OF
him or the man on each side OF him.
Hour after hour this goes on; rifles be-
come heavier, ammunition belts chafe
more gallingly. haversacks and water
bottles strike In a tender spot. shoes
get filled with grit. which makes each
step an agony. If. after a long march
men are thrown into action, they have
lost their vim and their power OF re-
~sistance, and 1t Is only by sheer nerve
that they are able to stand up 10 the
rack. Nine times out OF ten infantry
are sent into action with their nerves
unstrung, simply because they have
been broken down by the strain which
has been put upon them. To get the
best results u Of men they should go
into action In a perfect physical condi-
ton. but they are generally weakened
by the drain made upon them. The
remedy for this, a remedy which will
not only increase the actual physical
strength Of an army but will also give
II that mobility which Is all-essential,
Is to give each man his means OF
transport-that is. to noun him. The
armies Of the future will be armies OF
mounted infantry.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

tors, Oleson started In to force mat
tiers from tho first tap OF the gong. He
rushed Sullivan to the ropes and land
ed several right and left jolts on the
Eastern mans head. As Dave camo
in. Oleson chopped q hard left on tho
face and q cliach followed. Sullivan
pounding ths kidneys as they broke
away. Sullivan hcstsd a left to the
chin and Ole u2percu tie paw with
his right. A series OF elinches fot-
lowed. Oleson was the aggressor to
the bell, and 1t wss his round, al
though Sullivan evened up matters a
little In tho last minute by landing
several hard punches on the body. A
hot rally took place in the second and
some terrific innghtins ensued. Sulli-
van brought his elbows into play and
made vigorous attempts to shut OF his
opponents wind while wrestling in the
clinches. He was cautioned by the
referee, and = few seconds later was
again reproved for striking below the
belt. Sullivan drove q savage right TO
Oleson's heart that resounded all over
the house and hurt the local boxer
badly. The rough work was wearing
Oleson down. for q moment he seemed
to be ratified. and in n clinch pulled
Sullivan's head down with his left and
uppercut him with the free hand. For
this Oleson was cautioned in his turn.
The third was a repetition Of the sec
ond round. as far as fierce infghting
went. but Sullivan now gave a loose
rein to his fouling instincts and used
his elbow In such fashion that Siler
called a halt to the proceedings and
disqualified the Eastern boxer. declar-
ing Oleson the winner on a foul.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

a harmless woman or an innocer,
child, he had to pass what was tech-
nically called " stroy stroyu" to m.
extent of his misconduct and violatIo,
of military discipline.
'Stroy stroyu" meant two rows n,
soldiers facing each other at a Ger.
tain distance and every one holding a
knout ready to whip the guilty. Ths
guilty one had then to pass between tia
rows and sustain the heaviest lasnes OF
twenty-five or more knouts from each
side, as the ase might demand. for
inhuman behavior in time of war. Tha
same rule with greater rigor would
then be applied for "~pillaging, footing.
torturing and numbering right and
left" II such crimes were possible In
the old times, and which are now false
" ascribed to Russian soldiers. But.
since the above educational measure
had been In existence. the Russian his
tory OF battles knows not q single In.
stance of brutality on the part OF Rus
sian soldiers against the innocent, and
there han been no need for the former
discipline. Consequently you may be
sure that the Russian soldiers Of
whatever rank stand far above the
British soldiers IN this respect. and II
is not difficult to prove this differ.
ence between them.
y. A. Bouro0.
IIniyarcitv of Chicago
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
rrapp. Tramp, Tramp.

Tramp. Tramp, liam"
In the prison cell | SIT.
Thinking. mother dear OF you,
And our bright and happy nome %
far away;
And the tears, they MI my eyes,
Spite of all that / can DO,
Tho l try to cheer my eomraoes anu
be gay.
rramn. tramp. tramp. tho boys are
marching,
Cheer up. comrades, they Will come;
And beneath the starry nag
W. shall breathe the air again
or the free-land In our own beloved
home
In the battlefront We stood.
when their 'iercest charge they MADE.
And they swept us OF. q hundred
men or more,
Put before we reach'd their lines,
They we're beaten back dismayeo'
And we heard the cry of sictry DER
and DER.
So within the prison cell
We are waiting for the day
That shall come to open vide the
iron door.
And the hollow eyes grow bright,
And the DOR heart almost gay.
As we think of seeing home ana
friends once more.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
University of Chicago.


George II. Rusby, a Kansas City
man, who has Travelled many lands
and seas for the Armour Packing
Company and has had many adven-
lures OF his own Is 10Y In South
Africa. aud his letters home contain
many good stories OF the experiences
of the Britishers during tho war down
there. says the Kansas City Journal.
His latest one. contained in a letter
that was posted at Port Elizabeth,
tells how the life of a war correspond
ent who fell into the hands OF the
Beers was saved by a trick kissing
bug" such as was used In Kansas City
last year to frighten people out Of
their wits. you will no doubt be In
terested in reading OF an experience
which Mr.. Swallow, war correspondent
of the Cape Argus. had during the
present war" Mr.. Rusby writes.
While at work up country Swallow
got wind Of certain information re-
garding the movement of the Beers.
which he desired TO convey to 4 OF
the British generals, whom he felt
confident OF reaching In safety. Hay-
ing made notes of the information ami
putting some of the notes In his pock-
cts, he started away. Later on, I'M
fortunately, he was captured by a
party OF Beers. who proceeded to go
through his pockets. After emptying
one pocket they began to examine the
papers. Among them was an envelope
containing one Of the kissing bugs
which the Armour Packing Company
sent out In the way OF an advertise
meat, and which had been given the
correspondent several months before.
One of the Beers standing In the CEN
ter of the group unfolded the paper
and the kissing bug shot out. COM
pletely taking them by surprise, and
creating such CONSERVATION among
them that, in the excitement. Mr..
Swallow managed to destroy. without
being seen, the notes which he had in
another pocket. thereby escaping what
semed certain death"
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Identlncatlon hr ringsrmarks.

In the organization of the police de-
partment at Johannesburg the system
of Identification by finger marks is be-
ing introduced, and In this way every
native is to be registered. The plan
will be OF great assistance in the dis
tribution of passes, the regulation OF
labor and the suppression of Illicit
liquor selling. Perhaps in time such
a system will be found useful In
oriental countries.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Things might have been different
with me-" said the converted burglar,
IF | had a good education an good
Sunday school training"
Poor man." said the visitor. sym
pathetically.
Yes, | might have been a trusted
cashier an skipped out with the funds.
an | might be livin' like a fghtin'
cock somewhere out Of the country"
Puck.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
VICTIMS OF
In Chicago Alone Several Fatalities Have
Resulted.

In Chicago Alone Several Fatalities Have
Resulted.
Parents of aspiring young athletes
have certainly cause for thanksgiving
In the fact that the national feast day
marked the completion OF the football
season. The record of serious and fatal
accidents resulting from the game
during the last few months in Chica-
60 is almost appalling. says the Trib-
une of that city. Three young men
have been killed and a number have
been perhaps permanently crippled.
Now that the excitement Of the an
nual struggle Is over the managers
and friends of the game may find
time to take such steps as may seem
wise to make football less dangerous
next 1t is certainly apparent
that more care should be exercised IN
boys who are not in good physical
condition or training are not allowed
to take part in hard fought games.
1t is also possible that some change
might be made In the rules which.
without ~detracting materially from the
interest In the game. would prevent
the tremendous scrimmages in which
most Of the serious accidents have oc-
CURED. 1t Is also probable that more
severity might be shown in furnishing
players who are detected in acts of
brutality during the progress OF a
game. The policy which makes the
gripping and injury of a star player
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Prepare to Build Yacht.

Preparations have been made for
building the Shamrock II In Denny
Brothers yards at Dumbarton, Scot
land, in the shed occupied by James
Gordon Benefits new yacht, the Ly-
cis.rata. The Shamrock II will be
built strictly under cover. Her Frame
work will be OF nickel steel and her
plates Of manganese bronze. Watson Is
o laying Down the left lines for the
yacht.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
M HEsISspsEES 1v1HoD
sgSsssfffa2aEbStSg
Danger.

Danger.
The Beautiful Roe OF the Adiron-
daeks trembled piteously.
All. me" she moanej. -The open
season has m
The Lordly Buck laughed at Asr
fears.
"Oh. it's all very well for you!" cried
the Roe. You have horns and are IN
no danger Of being shot! But 1 ook
lust like a hunter at a distance"
1t could not be maintained thai her
alarm was devoid Of logical 1ustinsa-
tion.-Detroit Journal.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Customer (having tried nearly all
the hats in the shop)-It's a funny
thing that you don't seem to have a
hat that suits my head.
Shopman (truly anxious to please)-
Try a soft one, sir.-Pick-Me-Up.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Alleged Cruelty by Russian Soldiers.

To the Editor: The story OF al
legged Russian atrocities In China. as
told in the name Of the wife of the
British commissioner Of customs at
Tientsin. which was published in The
Record Of Aug. 8, could neither origin
ate from an American lady nor from a
lady OF any other nation. but only
from a NEAR agent on the British
side.
I am sure I know that In the mill
tary doctrines of Russia existed a rule,
known to every former soldier, that II
in time Of war or under warlike cir
cumstances a soldier or an officer
dared to avenge himself upon an I'M
armed man on the enemy's side, and
II he would especially dare to offend
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Mrs. Houseksep-"See here.fvs Deen
getting a dozen eggs from you every
week ard In every dozen lately I've
found at least two bad ones. Whats
to be done about it?'
Bright Clerk-"Suppose you only
only half q dozen hereafter. Maybe
YOU wouldn't And go many bad ones
hen."-Philadelphia Press.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Mr.. Lurker-Excuse me. Miss Snap
per, but l have long sought this oppor-
tunity-
Miss Snapper-Never mind the pre-
amble, Mr. Lurker. Run along In and
ask pa. He's been expecting this
would come for the past two years.
Tid-Bits.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Aunt-But Fritz. why do you always
bring Elsa when | play? She screams
frightfully until | have to stop.
Fritz-Yes. that's what pa says, and
he gives me five cents to do it.-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Gosd Advice.

Tailor-I hope. baron. you'll pay
this bill really can't wait any long
er. l owe now for the cloth for more
than three months!
Baron-H'm! You run In debt and
expect me to furnish the money to pay
withi-Heitre Welt.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
oLEsoN WINS ON A FOUL
nllivan Disqualified In Third Round of
Star Theater wind-Up.

0AAAvhn Dtequaifuou IN Ahiru Rouhu OF
Star rheater Wind-Up.
Ole Oleson. the Chicago 124-pounder,
Won from Dave Sullivan Of Brooklyn
IN a foul in the third round of their
pntest at the Star theater. Chicago,
he other night. The bout was the
vind-up of the evening.
Sullivan had nobody but himself to
lame for losing the verdict. He struck
)leson low again and again. jammed
his elbow into the Chicagoan's throat
m the clinches. heeled him vlciously
with his glove, and persisted in using
hese tactics with a cheerful disre-
gard of ell established rules.
Referee Siler warned Sullivan re-
peatedly to desist, but Dave kept up
his rough-house tactics until he was
tent to his corner in disgrace.
Much 70 the surprise OF the specta-
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Christmas boxes for soldiers serving
In the Philippines were sen free this
year by the war department. A cir
cular to this effect was prepared In
the war department and the oppor-
tunity thus presented was seized by
hundreds who sent remembrances to
friends serving their country In the
Philippines.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Mrs. Gotham-The paper says an
Indiana state board is trying to pre-
rent the marriage of idiots.
Mr.. Gotham-what nonsense! They
soon get over it.-New York Weekly.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

First office boy-Wot1l yer do II de
boss raises yer salary from tree to
five?
Second Office boy-Well, l hadn't
fully decided-'cept dat I'll take up
golf.-Puck.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Retter Left Unsaid.

Mrs. Neurych (bidding good-by to
her guests after her first reception)-
I'm SO sorry that the rain kept all of
our best people away,-Tit-Bits.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Thankful.

When the cyclone leveled Bryan.
And blew his chances fiat,
I'm glad that in the furry
only lost a hat.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Assistant-Here are more dispatches
about the battle in the east.
Editor-What do they say?
Assistant-It appears that both sides
were greatly outnumbered. but each
defeated the enemy with sever loss.
Harlem Life.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
In tha Front Row.

Husband-Why do you always want
to sit in the front row?
Wife-So | can't see the other wo-
mems hats, but so they can all see
mine.-Syracuse Herald.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Mrs. Kidder-George. may l write
and accept Mrs. Browns invitation Tor
Bobby to attend her boys party?
Mr.. K~idder-Yes; and while you are
writing you had better write DR.. kure
Al. Quick to call the day after.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Perfectly Safe.

City neThew-What do you think Of
DR.. Pillsbury as a physician?
Farmer Hayroob-Safest doctor any
where in this part of the country
nearly always off fshin' when he's
wanted.-Judge.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Wife latter a quarrel)-I wish I'd
never met you,
Husband-Yes. Now when 1t 10
too late you are sorry for me!-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
Seldom.

Song writer's may urn out airs by
the million, but they seldom become
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Record.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
MRS. IsELIN. Y-AcHrswoMAN.

The Wife of Owner of Worid-Famed
Columbia.
An American woman who will watch
the coming yacht races with most ar
dent enthusiasm is Mrs. c. oliver Ise
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24
In His Mind.

Thought you said you had plowed
that ten-acre field" said tie first farm
er.
mo; I only said I was thinking
about blowing it." said the farmer.
"Oh, l see; you merely turned It
over in your mind."-Yonker5 States
man.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

A blank cartridge will make the
most noise.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

my wife got SO mad she wouldn't
speak to me for an hour"
"Ahi"
"And then she turned it loose all at
Embellishments Press.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

The doctor-Here | carried that pa
tent through a desperate sickness only
to-
His wife-Have him object to your
fee
The doctor-No; drop dead when he
saw my bill.-Life.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

Parson Good-Mornin'. deacon; l
trust 1t isn't atheism that is keeping
you away from church?
Deacon Sly-No. parson; 1t is rheu-
matism.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-01-24

FHES ON IODD.
Killed in a Football Game in Chicago
on Thanksgiving Day.
iot SO prevalent as 1t was a few years
lgo. but there Is still for i'm
Drovement in this direction.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-06

he skillfully traced the progress
of industrial civilization, showed
the superiority Of American in
dustrial methods and stated the
fundamental principles and con
ditions under which labor has
gained, and must III the future
achieve its victories. Young N ii
should hear this: "The old car
dinal virtues are potent as ever.
Personal industry, foresight, rru-
dence, economy, perseverance,
sobriety, is the family of vir-
tues that belong to the i'll
dividual man. Society cannot
supply these qualities, and cult
vation of them by the individual
is necessary as ever.
It was the cultivation and earn
est practice Of these cardinal viz
tues that carried the poor, almost
friendless, boy from a Puget
Sound logging camp and fifty
cents per day through school and
college and placed him in the
front rank Of journalism. Te
American laborers he can "speak
by the card" and they honor
themselves by having him do So