The Wichita daily eagle., 1901-02-22

/ lean merchant attempting entrance into
the Pearly Gates, with the demand Of ST
Peter. Can I not gain admission for less
| than dollar?" He said that ten years
ago he attended church one evening.
1 This brought forth from his appreciative
audience continued applause, and then he
said it was evident that not many Wich-
ita citizens attended church oftener than
once in ten years. Then he told how he
listened in the corridors Of the church 10
two women who seemed 70 be deeply re-
| ligious, but when the time came 10 listen
he noted they were speaking OF dress,
dounces, silk skirts and newest fashions.
Perhaps the most striking of all the
many interesting special mentions of the
speaker was his recital of one night in
the long ago he was held up in a certain
city awaiting his train TO take him to his
destination. He was lonely and desolate.
He longed for company, for excitement
Accidentally he caught a hand bin an
nouncing the appearance that night Of
the Theodore Thomas Orchestra He ac-
knowledged he was the best musician in
America that he did not know one tune
fro manother, and could not carry tune
to save his life, but that he could absorb
corked up He attended that concert, and
enjoyed the magnificent music. and noted
with interest how the leader. with
simple motion Of his wand, either silenced
the assembled band Of players or else
moved them to repeated efforts. All this
time there sat behind Colonel Copeland a
couple Of women who were chattering
and whispering and spelling the whole en-
tertainment. Their tongues were going
Ike a wind mill but the colonel supposed
they were critics in music and We're dis
coursing about the merits Of the enter
tainment. Imagine MS dismay when,
with z sudden dash Of the baton in the
hands of the leader the music stopped,
one Of these two females burst out with,
I'VE always fry ours in lard" From
this the speaker took as a text the fact
that the world is made UP OF those who,
in sordid and commercial spirit, FRY
theirs in lard" forgetting always the
other higher emotions and better side OF
life He mentioned how Dean Swift,
the Archdeacon Of Canterbury, once at
tended a dinner Of learned prelates and
during the discussion was borrihed by
one of the party suddenly breaking the
discussion with the call. pass the dump
lings and gravy" The speaker argued
from that that 1t was always too often
the case, that instead of the worlds cry.
'Watchman tell me Of the night" it was
rather the so pitiful scream of pass ne
the dumplings and gravy" He said that
happiness comes from within and rot
from without. and then he portrayed in
a most matchless manner the scene Of
the ditch digger, who at his supposed
debasing, sordtd manual labor, sang with
vigor and enthusiasm I'm a Child Of a
King" The peasant at his musicless toll
could yet sing the music Of the soul and
could tell OF the riches he possessed in
his Fathers mansion. He contended that
life is not so hard if it tolls for love He
spoke Of the home life that is wrecked
because of the housekeeper's enmity of
dirt. Then he related an incident Of che
woman whom he knew and whom he
met after many years Of separation and
she confessed to him she had ruined her
home because one son laid a string Of
freshly caught fish on the table cloth:
that her husband had neglected to scrape
his boots on entering the kitchen; beth
were in the penitenitary. and another son
was buried in drunkard's grave because
he forgot once to dust his coat on the
back porch.
He mentioned how lop-sided many Ives
are. How the theologian and the phiIoso-
Dher win set hen on a door knob and
two china nest eggs. And how the woman
of fashion vii fret out her life in some
triviality and later make herself a spec
tacle.
The splendid stage presence. the earnest
spirit, and the evident thorough knowI-
edge of the speaker. won to himself his
audience and it was the unanimous ver-
dict of the members present that no
finer oratorical entertainment has ever
greeted a Wichita audience during 8Ir. O.
A Boyles Lyceum management
The next number VIII be an extra at
traction, that Of Frank R. Robertson, on
Wednesday evening. February q On the
subject 'Briton and Boer' and All be
superbly illustrated
When the breath is foul and the appe-
tite d:sordered. Prickly Ash Bitters IS the
remedy needed 1t purihes the stomach, /
liver and bowels, sweetens the breath.
promotes vigor and cheerfulness.