Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-03
GOOD
Short Stories

When that very limited monarch,
Louis-Philippe, was asked to pardon
Barbes, he replied: HE has my par.
don; now I will see IL can get him
that of my ministers"
L. o. Howard, the distinguished en-
tomologist, felt somewhat fattered at
receiving one day letter from a gen.
tleman asking him to send a copy of
his report. Mr.. Howard replied
promptly, and asked to which particu-
lar report his correspondent referred.
The answer came: Am not particu-
lar which one you send. l want. it
for a scrap-book."
DR.. Milan Soule writes that hypnotic
suggestion has enabled him to afford
complete or partial relief in several in
stances. An accomplished and we'll
known medical man gravely assured
him that he had frequently cured his
wife of seasickness after the acute
stage had passed by compelling her at
tention while he slowly read aloud
the first chapter of the Gospel accord
ing to st. Matthew
During the recent trial of certain
members of the Bolton Park Club in
England, who were charged with il
legally employing a number Of young
sters as caddies who should have been
at school, 1t was stated that the cad
dies were given luncheon and tea.
"Why did you give them tea?' the
judge asked. The witness replied that
it was usual to give caddies tea. "Ah,"
said the judge, thoughtfully, 81 pre-
sumo that makes them tea-caddies."
The late DR.. Creighton, Bishop of
London, once made a visit to Father
Stanton's church in High Holborn, a
most ritualistic organization The
service was not quite to his liking. but
Father Stanton talked so fast that he
did not have a chance to say anything
until he got into his carriage to go
away. Then he remarked: 81 like
your service, Stanton, but 1 don't like
your incense" Every sorry, my lord,
very sorry" replied Father Stanton,
submissively, "but it is the very best l
can get for three shillings and six
pence pound"
A Russian military paper tells of a
lieutenant who overheard a sergeant
giving a recruit a short lecture upon
his duties. ''The military SERVICE"
said the sergeant, requires little
prayer to God, and a strict attention
to the orders of superior" Some
what astonished at this singular defini-
ton of military duty, the officer ven
tured to ask the sergeant for his au-
thority. Whereupon the sergeant pro-
dueed an ancient volume, containing
the following: THE military service
requires little; prayer to God and strict
attention to the orders of superior"
Recently in Los Angeles (says an AL
bany minister FIVE prominent gentle
men of foreign birth CHANGED to meet.
One was Russian, one a Turk, one a
Frenchman, one an American, and one
an Englishman. These gentlemen be-
came intimate, and finally champa gne
supper was proposed, at which each
gentleman, to be in keeping with the
times, was to give toast to his ma
tive country, the one giving the best
to be at no expense for the wine.
Here are the toasts given: The Rus
s:an-'Here's to the stars and bars of
Russia, that were never pulled down."
The Turk-'Here's to the moons of
Turkey, whose wings were never
clipped" The Frenchman-"Here's to
the cock of France, whose feathers
were never picked" The American
Here's to the Stars and Stripes Of
America, never trailed in defeat"
The Englishman-"Here's to the ramp
in, roarin' lion of Great Britain, that
tore down the stars and bars of Rus
sia, clipped the wings Of Turkey,
picked the feathers of the cock, of
France, and ran like hi from the Stars
Il