The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-10-12

Have you got any brimStOne?' asked
! the man who had come to do the job.
No sir,' stiff1y replied the sexton
This is a Universalist church. Chi
| cago Tribune.
Spell ferment and give it's definition, -
requested the teacher.
.Fr-e-r-m- e-n-t to work. responded
/ diminutive maiden.
Now place it in a sentence, SO that
l may be sure you understand its
meaning" said the teacher.
I'm the summer | would rather play
! house." returned the small scholar
| Wisconsin Journal of Education
Little Miss Beacon Street
| Sat in the window seat
| Eating baked beans and brown bread.
There came a big spider
| And sat down beside her
| What fine 'Argiope'!'' she said.
"Ah, Tom, taste of this kind of life
makes one wish for a country seat
Don't be absurd, my dear. It's hard
| enough, these days,to get standing room
| in the city.'-Brooklyn Life.
Col. Scooter, the celebrated author, de-
| sires to swap the manuscript of a new
novel for a young mule, familiar with
ploughing.
The Authors club gave a hot dinner
last Wednesday, at which, in a literary
dispute, the recording secretary was
struck on the head and left ear with
Webster's Unabridged Dictionary. There
We're more words than blows, however
The editors mother in-law published
anonymously a book she had written. A
copy was sent to the editor, and he
criticized it severely. After the critic
ism appeared a friend whispered the
name of the author The editor then
packed his valise and left for parts I'M
known.
We propose writing an historical nov
ell just soon can hire a reliable
young man to manufacture history for
it.-Atlanta Constitution.
Kill off de fools an you'll t'row de
lawyers outer work.-Doin' good will be
found mo- profitable in de end dan dig
gin gold.-Duty is de telescope trough
witch should pick out de way befo'
us.-De use oh de arrow depen's on de
aim.-W'en a patriot wants offs he
wants hit all over.-Hit takes de ham
mer OBJ practice to drive de nails OBJ
precept.-Sum folks live jes' like dey
t'ink hell is mighty good place to
spen' de winter at-Sum preachers try
to catch de big fish by speakin' wild
bated breath Oh dheir sins.-De worp
is mighty OF. but it amt half ez grey
it.-Sum folks say dis worl' is not dheir
home. OATS why dey moves w'eneber
house rent comes due.-Arkansaw
Thomas Cat.
"Smithers can tell as good a fish
story as ANYBODY I know L told him an
awful whopper the other night. but he
matched it" Howl HE said he be-
lieved me."-Stray Stories
.sWhere's your husband" asked one
woman of the other, as they met in the
7 suppose he's talking politics with
your husband as usual was the an
swer.
era s+r;1~aS no thew mi rbf botJ, I,a hat
ter engaged"
'I wouldn't disturb them for any
thing. Let them use up their com
planning powers on the trusts and such
things. 1t leaves that much less for the
meals. ashington Star.
Didn't j., you go away at all, Mrs
mo; Mr. Dash said he was so well
fixed now that he could afford to stay
at home if he wanted to-so we did,
Detroit Free Press.
She-You know. John. you promised
me sealslkin wrap, and
He-And you promised to keep my
stockings darned, and you haven't done
it.
She-well. you don't mean to say
you'll break your promise on that ac-
He-Wil, it's Just this: You don't
give q darn, and I don't give a wrap
Philadelphia Press.
De reason some folks don't want ter
be no angel is kaze dey is too lazy ter
fly.
A good man don't have ter blow his
ter own one.
Some folks thinks heaven is way up
yander, wen in fact hits so cloSt ter
'em dat iii chile could tip-toe en- reach
I hez come ter de conclusion dat dey
amt much diffunce 'twixt a great sim
l. sx@f 70 Hr.r,-
stitution.
A political candidate, on paying a sec
ond visit to the house of a doubtful
voter of the peasant class, was well
pleased but some what ss1rprised at hear
ing from the elector that he would sup
port him.
"Glad to hear it," said the candidate.
81 thought you were against me-
$50 I was at first replied the peas
ant when you called here the other
day and stood by that pig sty and talk
ed for half an hour We didn't bulge me
an inch; but after you had gone away.
sir, / got to thinkin' how ye'd reached
yer hand over the rail and scratched the
pigs back till he lay down wi the pleas
ure of it. made up me mind then that
when man was so sociable as that wi
a poor fellow creature l wasn't the one
to vote against him. ''-Tit-Bits-
Virginia is consistent. She makes
strong protest against free ballot and
it would be crossing of the wires to in
sist upon free speech.-Detroit Free
Press.
An Irish Judge of the old school, in
recent summing up at the four courts,
Dublin, created great effect The
plaintiff was even more beautiful than
her beautiful daughter, who was wit
ness. Gentlemen of the jury his lord
ship began, everything in this case
seems plain-except Mrs. O'Toole and
her charming daughter. London Daily
News.