davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Am Impartial Woman.

"This is the grave Of the most impair
tial woman on record" said the guide
In Cave Hill cemetery to a party who
visited the beautiful cemetery the 9th
er day. away over that second knoll
there is a lot containing only two
graves, and the headstone of each is
marked Father
''The woman who is buried here was
married twice, and the two graves in
that lot are the graves of her two hus-
bands. She tried her best to treat her
second husband as she did the first,
and even when he died she had no idea
of showing any preference. But she
was sick when the funeral service of
her second husband was held. She di-
rected that the partner of her second
matrimonial venture be laid by the
side of the first, but that enough space
be left to bury her between the two.
"By some hook or crook mistake
was made, and when she visited the
cemetery she found that they were
buried side by side. with no space be-
tween.
"Well, sir, she didn't know what to
do. She argued that If she should be
buried by the side of her first husband
it would not be fair to the memory of
her last spouse, and vice versa. What
did she do? Why, when she died she
left request that she be buried in an
other lot, away from both of them, and
it was needed" - Louisville Courier
journal
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Translators, stumbline blocks.

Some amusing instances Of trans
lators' misunderstanding are mention
ed by the London Daily News. An
Italian paper not long ago turned Mr..
Rudyard Kipling's "Absentminded Beg
gar" into a DISTRACTED Mendicant."
A footnote to the same version explain
ed ''son of a Lambeth publican" as a
reference to Mr.. Krugerl The trans
lator who explains is often lost.
Another Italian editor who translat-
ed passage from an English paper
about a man who had killed his wife
with a poker added an ingenious foot
note to say, Eve do not know with GER
tainty whether this thing 'pokero' be a
domestic or surgical instrument"
In the French version of one Of
Scott's novels Welsh rabbit has to be
dealt with. The translator, never hav-
ing met with that article of food, nat
urally turned it into 'un lapin de
Gales" Unfortunately he had some
doubt whether his countrymen would
understand this and added a lengthy
footnote describing how the peculiarly
delicious flavor of the rabbits Of Wales
created a large demand for them in
Scotland, whittier they were exported
In bulk that would compare with the
trade of Ostend.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

He understood all about the sun and
the moon and the stars and something
about the weather. Indeed, he was
popularity supposed to regulate this
last, and his Indication of probabilities
was received as gospel by his admiring
fellow citizens in certain southern
colony of Australia. He went to Eng
land for well earned holiday.
he was shown over celebrated fruit
garden there. He was observed to be
shifting about as If something were
wrong. They asked him what was the
matter. 'Well," he replied, these fun
ny fellows have trained their peach
trees against the south side of the wall
to get the midday sun instead Of
against the north. London Truth.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Japan,s rmpregnaDnnty.

The coast of Japan, Notwithstanding
its long shore line and numerous har-
bors, offers scant allurement to an in
vading army. There is very little
beach. The bold crags and bluffs over
looking every spot where a modern
war vessel can ride at anchor are pro-
tected by strong Notifications defended
by the most modern guns.
Yeddo bay, the most feasible blight
for invading purposes, needs careful
navigation even by steamers of moder-
ate draft When torpedoes are planted,
it is simply impregnable, says a writer
: in Golfers Weekly. When the war
with China broke out, a small steamer
was selected to pilot merchant steam
ers up and down the bay. l remember
perfectly the unexpected curves made
by this steamer, showing plainly the
countless dangers besetting a hostile
fleet regardless of the care that may
be used in feeling its way. No invad-
ing army could possibly land, and even
if it succeeded in doing so the rice
fields, readily submerged as they are,
would aid materially In thwarting the
advance and in isolating the enemy. A
successful invasion of Japan is simply
impossible.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
WOman's Suffering and
Misery.

If women suffering from uterine or ovarian
disturbance; from painful, irregular, Distress
ing periods, knew of the great comfort and
prompt relief that may be had by the use of
Wells Stomach Elixir, existence for them
would be more tolerable. The serious perma-
nent dangers that may come from these trOu-
bles if not corrected is hardly fully realized by
most women. This remedy was originally de-
signed not exactly for Dyspepsia, but for a
most miserable stomach condition which no
drug or combination of drugs seemed to re-
lieve-an acrid, irritable, distressing, condition
caused likely by a bad Liver. After many trials
and experiments the combination known as
Wells Stomach Elixir was happily hit upon.
and comfort, this remedy has given the sub
scriber. The inestimab1e value of this rem
edy in such troubles is beyond computation.
From the hour of the ornpounding of the first
bottle of Wells Stomach Elixir it has been a
valued and indispensable family medicine, and
hold to be a most effective and comforting
remedy at painful, distressing periods
For Stomach, Bowel and Abdominal distress
and misery, Wells Stomach Elixir gives
prompt and salutary relief comforting, sooth-
ing, and gently invigorant to a weak, feeble,
inaamed, feverish, irritated stomach gives most
benign and happy relief. Relieves pain, dis
tresS and hatulence after eating. Corrects and
aids digestion, regulates bilious irritability and
bilious diarrhoea. At painful periods in female
life, and during change of life, it will be found
a most grateful relief and support. In SOC. and
$100 bottles at retail or wholesale druggists, or
the large size prepaid by express on receipt of
price, $780, As an ab1ution, pinch of Wells
Miracle of Healing Powder (being antiseptic,
disinfectant and germicide) in one or two pints
of warm water and used as vaginal injection,
daily, will be found corrective, cleansing, heal
ing, curative. Csc. bottles at druggists or by
mail. AE. S. WELLS, Chemist, Jersey City, N J
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Miserable Mothers.
CHILDREN ROBBED OF THEIR
BlRTHRlGKT.

The most serious thing in life is ma
ternity. The child who inherits weak
ness is handicapped for life in the strug-
gle for existence The weak and sickly
mother surely devotes her offspring to
misery and misfortune The romantic
idea of marriage is based on love and love
alone The scientific idea of marriage
demands sound health as basis of mat
rimony. The utter helplessness of love is
written In thousand experiences of
young motherhood. The child, the
mother would die for, cries in her arms,
and she is too weak and worn to comfort
1t. She can do naught but weep in
sympathy.
AS surely as the most serious thing in
life is maternity so the most necessary
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

only surprised myself but all my friends
here are surprised to see me so we'll"
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription makes
weak women strong and sick women well.
1t corrects irregularity, dries disagreeable
drains, heals inflammation and liberation
and cures female weakness.
Thousands of women have been sur
prised at the cures effected by the patient
and persistent use of DR.. Pierce's Fa-
vorite Prescription. This medicine has
cured diseases which have failed to yield
to any other remedy. When doctors
have declared cure was hopeless, and
when other medicines had been tried in
vain, e Favorite Prescription has brought
about lasting cure. There is 10 other
put up medicine specially prepared for
woman's use which has so wide and
wonderful a cure of womanly diseases to
its credit.
Sick people, especially those suffering
from chronic diseases, are invited to con-
suit DR.. Pierce by letter free and SO OBJ
tain without charge the opinion of
specialist on their ailments. All cores
pondence strictly confidential. Address
DIR. R. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
The dealer who offers a substitute for
cFavorite Prescription does so to gain
the little more profit paid on the less
meritorious medicines. His profit Is
your loss, therefore accept no substitute.
FREE TO WOMEN.
DIR. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser is sent free on receipt of stamps
to pay expense of mailing oaky. Send
IL one-cent stamps for book In paper
covers, or 81 stamps for the cloth bound
volume. Address DIR, R. v. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. Y.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
The Mermnid,s Pun.

Neptune had returned from the mar
ket with a fine fish.
"How many pounds does 1t weight"
inquired mermaid.
HE is about a ten-er," responded
Neptune.
eff he is a tenor" returned the mer-
maid, che cannot, of course, be bass"
Neptune was stung by the retort.
but was much too polite to reply In
kind by any allusion to her scales
New York Marine Journal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
why Flower. Bloom and Birds Sir

why Flowers Bloom and Birds Sing.
The old comfortable belief Of our
forefathers that the flowers and fruits
and all the good things of the earth
were created for their benefit has been
completely shattered by science. The
shining gold of April celandine, the
scent of white violets, are not for us at
all, says science, not even for the in
sects that come to them for honey, but
Just for the sake of the flowers them
selves, which must get cross fortified
or die out. Self, self only, is the bed
rock of it all. So the violets are not
fragrant for US, and the thrush was
not made to sing ON our account, but
to charm his mate, and the stars do not
shine so as to light our way through
the wood and across the wild on moon
less nights.
Fortunately this discovery need not
take away our appetite for the feast
which Is spread out. We need have no
more conjunction in coming to it I'M
invited than has the bee or the moth
In slipping the nectar of the blossom.
1t may even be that we, like they, do
render unconsciously some return for
benefits received Saturday Review.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD RATES
TO
PAN-AMERICAN EXPOSITION,
BUFFALO,.

The Pennsylvania Railroad Company
announces the following special reduced
rates to Buffalo, on account of the Pan
American Exposition, which opens on May
L.
Summer excursion tickets, to be sold
from April 80 to September 80, inclusive,
and good to return until Octoper 81, at rate
of $40 90 from Washington, $500 from
Baltimore, $500 from Philadelphia, and
proportionate rates from other points.
Ten-day excursion tickets, 10 be sold,
beginning May 1, and continuing every
day thereafter during the Exposition, good
going on regular trains and good returning
within ten days including date of sale, at
rate of $3.50 from Washington, $500
from Baltimore, $3.50 from Philadelphia,
and proportionate rates from other points.
Special excursion tickets, to be sold,
good going only on Thursday, May 20, and
g God returning within seven days, in
Guiding date of sale, at rate of $1,000 from
Baltimore and Washington, 5000 from
Philadelphia, and proportionate rates from
other points.
The Pennsylvania Railroad Company
now operates two through trains each way
daily between Philadelphia, Baltimore,
Washington and Buffalo.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
An Irish Retort.

Pat, the driver of the coal wagon.
seemed puzzled when he got up on
High street the other day. He looked
at the numbers of several houses and
scratched his head In perplexed way.
Finally Mrs. Eaton, for whom the coal
was intended, appeared and inquired:
BEG pardon, but is that coal for Ea-
tonY
''No, mom," responded Pat promptly
"it's not for ATTN; it's fur burninE'-
London Telegraph.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Dense.

81 say, Scribbler," said Sappy, chow
on earth do you think up all these
characters you wife about?"
"Oh, take them from real life," re-
piled ScribbIer, "but they never sus-
pect. Take, for instance, the character
of Woody Britten, who is always say
ing 'dooced' this and 'dooced' that.
Now, that's fellow know very well,
but he doesn't know Pm using him."
"Oh, come now, 1 say! How dooced
clevah of you! Dooced stupid of him,
thought Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

First NJ. D.--I see you occasionally
take patient out for drive.
Second M. Dyes. l think it does
them great deal Of good.
First M. D.-But 1t isn't professional.
l never do 1t.
Second NJ. d. know you don't.
When any of your patients go for a
ride, the undertaken accompanies them.
Chicago News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
~so Lonr.v

first became familiar with this val
ediction at Malta in the seventies. 1t
was then in common use among the
Maltese of valetta, but was by them
pronounced ''sah-lahng." at that
time took 1t to be local form OF the
Arabic ''salaam," and my surprise was
great when on returning to England In
the eighties ] found the phrase preya-
lent In London. Notes and Queries
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

She was such stylish, aristocratic
looking girl that she won admiring
glances from the whole car. 1--WE
Americans" l unused, ''do not need
empty titles to make our folk of gen.
tie blood"
Her friend handed her some photo
graphs.
She examined them critically.
''Them's bullyr' she exclaimed.-Bos-
ton Record.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
A Sensible query.

Mr. Ashmead- Bartlett once told
good story about his going to Ireland
for the first time. 'As soon as | land
ed In Ireland | attempted to look for
traces of some of my ancestors, who
came from the extreme north of Ire
land. Meeting an intelligent looking
Irishman. Informed him of my mis-
sion, saying that my ancestors emigrat-
ed from about that spot 100 years ago.
and was there trying to look them up.
He answered: ''Ye say your ancestors
emigrated from our town about 100
years ago? Thin why are We looking
for them here Y'-London Tit-Bits.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Wells Hair Tone. =
Hone FIR fhe Raid.

The elite toilet requisite. A superb, high
class preparation. A new, delightful, wonder
full and only successful preparation in the pres
ervation and inauguration of shaggy, brittle,
hair coming out in one application. Puts new
life and gives vigorous, growthy, healthy
look to hair, whiskers and moustache. Frees
head from dandruff. Dries quickly SO that
women may use it as well as men; keeps the
hair glossy and clean, and the scalp free from
disease Clearly, cooling and refreshing in
use; no oil, no grease, harmless. Indispensable
on any well equipped toilet stand. 60c. and 81
bottles at Druggists, or large size prepaid by
express on receipt of $1.00 E. S. WELLS,
Chemist. Jersey CITY, N I.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
WHAT SAID THE WINpi


Her thought
The wind is waving all the trsess
They whisper in the sun,
And ever through the sweet, warm graW
The Maynard shadows run.
on, turn you here or turn you there,
The thought will not away
chat love comes as the wind comes
And none may say 1t nay.
Ills thought
The wind is scattering the leaves,
The clouds rush up the sky,
The vagrant snowhakes find no rest,
But whirl and toss and fly,
And still thought wanders with the wind,
Returning but to say,
s'Oh, love goes as the wind blows,
And none may bid it stayl"
Adds Dunbar in Ainslee's Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Overheard In a Scotch Hotel.

Traveller Seating himself at the break
fast table)-Well, waiter, what's for
breakfast?
Waiter (cheerfully)- Calves brains, sir,
fried liver, deviled kidneys
Traveler-Oh, hang your complaintsl
Give me the menu.-G Glasgow Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
THE DERELIcT.

Oh, am the sovereign Of the seas.
The despot of the deep;
From pole to pole, where the breakers ron,
My tossing realm doth sweep.
Ny creaking hulk lies logged, and low
wallow in the wave.
When the tempest rails, my tattered sails
Flap forth requiem stave.
Yet the clipper, feet on snowy wing.
The liner, swift and strong.
The war dog gray on its sullen way
Yield place when lurch along.
The captain and his cringing crew
Go white beneath the red
As roll near; they know the fear
OF Davy Jones' bed.
The flagship of the graveyard feet
That haunts the salt highway.
ask no fee; right merrily
/ bring death and dismay.
M. W. Pool In New York SUM-
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

A boy was asked which was the
greater evil, hurting another's feelings
or his finger.
''The feelings" he said.
Fright, my dear child" said the graf
flied questioner. "But why is it worse
to hurt the feelingsT
because you can't tie a rag round
them"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
An Editorial Error.

did anybody ever try to start q
newspaper hereY asked the intellectu-
al looking man with glasses.
EYES," answered Broncho Bill; "but
1t failed. The editor wouldn't tend to
business"
"Was he a dissipated man."
mo; but be insisted on sitting at his
desk with his back to the door when he
ought to have been standing with six
shooter In his hand and his eye at a
knothole. Washington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

The Swedish mile is the longest mile
In the world. A traveller in Sweden
when told that he is only about mile
from a desired point would better hire
a horse, for the distance he will have
to walk If he chose in his ignorance to
adopt that mode of travel is exactly
11.700 yards.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
The Gain In Going Through college,

Vhe Ga1m IN GO1mE InTOuSn OOAAe&Ss
The benefit that man who cares for
a college education gets by going to
college is a benefit that is already his
at the time he graduates. During the
four years or three years which he
spent at college he made himself
richer man for life. The world is a
larger, more varied, more interesting
place for him. His life will be a
broader, more liberal, more satisfying
life than it would have been had he
not spent a few of his best years in
contact with the results of high
thought and in the daily performance
OF invigorating intellectual tasks. The
ups and downs of the Stock Exchange
cannot take away from him what he
has thus stored up, nor could the best
gifts of the money god have enabled
him to purchase, after years spent in
relentless pursuit of dollars, that which
in the golden days of early manhood
he had made his own in the quiet col
lege halls.-Baltimore News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

What a splendid type of tireless activity
is the sun as the psalmist describes it issu-
ing like "a bridegroom from his chamber
and rejoicing like strong man to run a
race. Every man ought to rise in the
morning refreshed by slumber and renewed
by rest, eager for the struggle of the day.
But how rarely this is SO. Most people rise
still unfreshed, and dreading the strain of
the days labors. The cause of this is de-
flcient vitality and behind this lies defici-
ent supply of pure. rich blood, and an in
adequate punishment of the body. There
is nothing that will give man strength
and energy, as will DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery 1t does this by in
creasing the quantity of the blood supply.
This nourishes the nerves, the brain, builds
up enfeebled organs, and gives that sens e
of strength and power which makes the
struggle of life a joy. The good feeling
which follows the use of Golden Medical
Discovery" is not due to stimulation as it
contains no alcohol, whisky or other intox-
icant. 1t does not brace up the body, but
builds it up into condition of sound
health.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Chaps. Chafas. Rough SLin.

Instantly and pleasantly cured at one applica-
ton by Laurek2e oil Balm. The effect is in
Simultaneous, no oil, no grease no muss, no
soiling of anything. Can be used any time.
While you are at work if your hands feel rough,
chapped, apply it, it dries in instantly and your
hands are smooth and soft, need not be covered
up nor washed off, and not soil the finest silks
or satins. Absolutely harmless, pure, non-in-
furious and simple. Elegant after shaving and
splendid for chafes of children. 25c., 60c. and
81 90 bottles.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Consolation.

Mrs. Murphy Ito her husband, excit-
edly)-Run for the doctor, Pat. The
child has swallowed the halfpenny you
gave him to play with.
"Oh, keep your mind aisy, Bridget"
replied Pat. "It was bad one any
way"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04

To accommodate those who are partial
to the use of atomizers in applying liquids
into the nasal passages for catarrhal trou-
bles, the proprietors prepare Elys Liquid
Cream Balm. Price including the spray
ing tube is rs cents. Druggists or by mail.
The liquid embodies the medicinal pro-
perties OF the solid preparation. Cream
Balm is quickly absorbed by the membrane
and does not dry up the secretions but
changes them to natural and healthy
character. Ely Brothers, So Warren St.,
New York, N. Y
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
Improving the Old Homestead.

Farmer Whiffletree-Since yew got
back frum college yew don't seem to
take no interest in the old farm.
Son = No interest, dad! Haven't |
spent nearly two weeks laying out golf
links Judge.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1901-06-04
The Adroft Cashier.

"All the while the cashier was burn
ing the candle at both ends"
sand keeping 1t dark! Well, / de-
elarep-Detroit Journal.