The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1901-02-01

There is a move on foot to secure
the Watkins bank building in Lawrence
for the law school of the State univer-
sity.
The Kansas City lumberman's con-
vention decided that forests are play
ing out, so the Kansas corn stalk may
yet replace saw logs.
1t seems that Mrs. Nation not only
put all the Wichita joints out of
whack, but slapped the sheriff and
put his nose out of joint.
At recent western Kansas poultry
show some idiot fed a lot of whisky
soaked corn to batch of ducks and
the staid birds acted like geese-or
men.
Women have held the public atten-
ton pretty steadily the past few weeks.
Miss Morrison, Mrs. Nation, Mrs.
Lease-what a galaxy of sensational
lists.
300 chickens and Belgian hares
were entered in Ottawa's poultry show;
but a skunk would seem more entitled
to be classed foul" than would a
hare.
The Abilene Chronicle says that the
report that Bryan refused so, 900 soap
ad. is nothing remarkable, as weekly
papers rarely if ever accept such con-
tracts.
Troy has suffered from bum shows
and the Chief wants bah, Bah, Black
Sheep, Pussy Wants a Corner, or
some other good opera" by home
talent.
A newsboy on the Central Branch
out of Atchison the morning after the
burning of Fred Alexander cried:
Paper. All about the Leavenworth
hazing."
The anti-cigarette league is citing
the fact that Fred Alexander smoked a
cigarette on the way to the stake as
another proof of the terrible effects of
the habit.
II cents buys sunbonnet in Lawr-
ence. but as they are unstarched the
merchant guarantees that while they
prevent tanning they do not preclude
"son-kissing."
Fit. Scott camc very near getting a
concert from Sousa's full band. The
auditorium manager got note-ot
regrets, but one note won't near fill
that building.
The Kansas w. c. T. T., knowing
womans weakness for aiming at one
thing and shying the missile in the
opposite direction, declines to stand
behind Mrs. Nation.
Wellington has solved the, fire prob
lem by furnishing three stations and
when the alarm sounds each wagon
starts in different direction. One is
pretty sure to be right.
If our great grandchildren refer to us
as we refer to our great grandfathers,
Mrs. Nations defendants will rather
shy at references to the deeds Of
Dame Nation" in 1901.
The attention of the weather man is
respectfully called to the fact that Mr..
Summer is trying to get divorce at
Cotleyville. He probably caught lin
gering winter in her lap.
Just to prove to the Kansas voters
that he could print their pictures right
if made State printer, Ed. Hook last
week did some fine half-tone work on
the county officers in the Record.
A Leavenworth doctor gives way
by small poX. Rub glycerine and
ozone on it. Another good way is tc
let your wife have it in your place.
While the editor of the Kincaid Dis
patch was out of town he got tele-
gram numbered ID, containing l3wOrds
and with l3 cents overcharge on it, in
forming him his newspaper plant was
/ burned out,
In the same issue of the Lindsborg
/ Record which devotes considerable
space to Bethany college is the notice:
"Bucking broncos can be purchased
at Bavaria for $50 cash" Let the
boom begin.
a street preacher is burning into
the minds of Ottawa the sintulness OF
their ways, on the text "A cake not
turned" The simplest minded old
sinner. who is fond of buckwheat bat
ter cakes, can take that hint.
Representative Rees, of Ottawa, has
introduced bill providing that Kan
sas sheriffs who let mob get pris-
oner and kill him, shall lose their
Office forfeit their bond and be liable
for 80, 900 to the d eceased's relatives,
A Blue Rapids clerk while unpack-
ing a package of almonds found note
that told of the California girl who
packed them. A correspondence is
now on and the clerk is getting 'nutty'
over that girl with the almopd eyes OF
his dream.
ED Ping, a steam jig man, working
at the Silent Friend plant onthe Bunco
ground, north of Cave Springs, and
owned by Jim Hardwick and Chas.
Summer, met an awful death" is the
way the Galena Times begins the tale
of how man lost his life.
The little daughter of a clergyman
at Florence asked him: Papa, does
God tell you what to write?" Certain
ly my child, replied the devout man.
| Then shat makes you scratch out SO
much of it?" queried the child, and
then she wondered why she received
no answer.
A man at Newton tells this to show
how fast the California United goes,