The age-herald., 1901-12-01


 I once asked Mir. Depew how he did it. and attended so many banquets and dinners. @simple enough" he replied, "I never drink but a few sips of wine, and 1t matters not how much there is upon the menu I never eat but those things which are wholesome and which I know will agree with me- .A 0 ARK TWAIN is sixty-fve. IA/Af Yet this famous wit retains IA/II sperfect health and is even SQEA brighter than he was in his younger days.
 He was never brighter than at the re- cent Lotus Club dinner in New York.
 "The greatness of this country" he said, speaking at that dinner, rests on two anecdotes. The first one is that of Washington and his hatchet, representing the foundation of true speaking, which is the characteristic of our people. The second one is an old one. and I've been waiting to hear it tonight, but as nobody has told 1t yet will tell it.
 You've heard it before and you'll hear it many, many times more It is an an- ecdote of our guest of the time when he was engaged as a young man with a gentle Hebrew in the process of skinning the client. The main part in that bus mess is the collection of the bill for services in skinning the man. Services is the term used in that craft for the operation of that kind-diplomatic in its nature.
 "Choate's correspondent Qaughter) made out a bill for $500 for his services, so-called. But, Choate told him he had better leave that matter to him, and the next day he collected the bill for the services and handed the Hebrew $5OOO, saying, That's your half of the loot and including that memorable response, Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian .q
 "The deep-thinkers didn't merely laugh when that happened They stopped to think and said: There's ia rising man. He must be rescued from the law and consecrated to diplomacy. The commer- cia advantages of great nation lie there in that mans keep. We no longer require a man, to take eare{of our moral character before the world Washington and his ssanecdote have done that We re- quire a man to take. care of our com mercial prosperity .(Great laughter)
 MT. Choate has carried that trait with him, and. as MT. Carnegie has said. he has worked like mole underground.
 We seq the result when American rail road iron is sold so cheap in England that the poorest family can have it. He has so beguiled that Cabinet of England!
 ''He has been spreading the commerce of this nation and has depressed English commerce in the same ratio. This was the principle underlying that anecdote, and the wise men saw it; the principle of give and take-give one and take ten the principle of diplomacy ssetf3 .sJ' ...
 g-1 <> ERB are some of Mark Twain's o remarks at recent dinners. 1 IC1l They have been printed before Ss @S eand are worth printing again
 At the Royal Literary Fund banquet, London. May. 1900:
 T am now on my way to my own coun- l l try to run for the Presidency because the field and those who have entered are too much hampered by their own principles which were prejudices.. | "I propose to go there to purify the political atmospheric I am in favor of l everything everybody is in favor of. l What you should do is to satisfy tho whole nation, not half of it., for then | you would only be half a President.
 There could not be broader platform than mine. I am in favor of anything and everything-of temperance and int emper ance morality and qualified immortality, gold standard and free silver. T have tried all sorts of things, and that is why I want to try the great po- sition of ruler of. country. l have been editor, publisher. author, lawyer, bur | glar. I have worked my way up. and wish to do so.'
 | At the meeting of the Acorns Novem- Der S. 1so1
 "Tammany is dead, and there's no use blackguarding corpse
 l "The election makes me think of a story of man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him. Where is the best place to go tor He was un- decided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages heaven for climate and hell for socie- | ty."
 |
 \ HAT story which has been go- VI ing the rounds of the press Jl about Isadore Raynor of | Maryland, Schleys counsel, being put out as a candidate against German for the Senate is mere bosh. Raynor will not be a candidate against German. Raynor will wait for the next vacancy
 German is the idol of Maryland Dem- ocrats. There are perhaps those who don't like him personally, but all respect his ability. The United States Senate | tz .stl