The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-05-17

anu makes existence Sudppy. &&
If 70 one had the blues, how could &
We tell when we were happy? I
Washington Star. i
They were discussing their marital
experiences. when l was married."
said the old lady, II was so unspeak-
ably happy that almost cried myself
to DEATH"
School friends meet in the French
capital. "Why, what are you doing in
Paris" spending my honeymoon"
And where's your husband p Hes in
New York"
$50 old Dingus' fever is gomez" re-
peated the old physician pleasantly to
the young assistant who was attending
him. Eyes. it's gone. but it's taken Din
gus with it,"
Game to the very end: An old lady,
being told that a certain lawyer twas
lying at the point Of DEATH" exclaimed:
My gracious! Won't even death stop
that mans lying"-Tit-Bits.
"a Chicago ex-groceryman was late
ly arrested for sandbagging." That's
nothing wonderful" But when his
sandbag was examined it was filed
with the sugar he used to SELL"
81 understand that Frailman has
come to the conclusion to contest his
wife's will" swell, what is there
courageous about that? She's dead.
isn't ?"-Richmond Dispatch.
1--WE just found out how J. Pierpont
Morgan must have proposed to his
wife," "How? HE probably said,
Darling, will you put yourself in my
trust? "-Chicago Herald Record.
Another triumph: "How did your
charity bal. turn out?" "Oh. it was a
splendid success. Our expenses were
only 1927, and we had $4.33 left over
for charity."-Chicago Times-Herald.
The better half: Il believe that the
great body of American people are gen
tlemen," says President Hadley. Our
experience has been that fully half Of
them are ladies.-Boston Transcript.
We All Have It.-Towne-He's quick
enough t. expose the faults Of others,
but lie will never willingly lay bare his
own. Browne-No. suppose that's
what you might call faults modesty.-
Philadelphia Press.
Young DR.. Smith-A patient got very
angry the other day because l advised
him to take 4 Turkish bath. Mrs. Dr..
Smith, don't see why anybody should
get mad about that. Young DR.. Smith
We'll. this fellow was Creek
Judge. $780,
Admiration: II how the grettest al
miration fur the man behind the gum
said Mr.. Do!an. 'Mebbe you're right
answered Mr.. Rafferty,: "but it always
seemed ty me it's the felly in front OF
it that's takin' the chances. Wash.
ington Star.
Small loss: ooh, sir, please, have
swallowed a pint" exclaimed q servant
girl, running into her employers study.
Never mind Mary" he replied, deep
in study-''never mind; here's another u
drawing one from his pin-cushion.-
Chicago Journal.
Il suppose you San Franciscans
think you have the greatest climate in
the country?' said the tourist. NO
answered the man who was suffering
from a cold: I'VE don't claim the great
est in that line. But we do claim the
largest variety."-Ex.
well. goodnight" said Mr.. Borem
finally breaking away; eve had most
enjoyable evening. Er-by the way,
expect to pass your house Tomorrow
evening. and l thought l might
IN be delighted" said he, quickly
goodnight" -Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Johnsing-I jes' met Mrs. Yaller
by, an she tole me her daughter done
eloped wifi a gemman in de iron busi
ness. Mrs Jackson-Well, declar
Sech airs! Who am de gemman? Mrs
.Johnsing-He's de Chinese laundermar
'roun de cohner-Philadelph Record
Mrs. Bingo-You are perfectly wei
come to another piece Of cake, Willie
but am afraid it will make you sick
Your mother told me particularly te
give you but one piece. Willie Slimsor
That's all very we'll, but don't know
where the pantry is here.-Leslie':
Weekly.
Savagery: And do these Indian girl:
never evince a tendency to relapse int
their former sayagery?' Tears sprans
to the eyes of the mission worker "Ah
yes"' sighed she; ':only last evening
they set the table without putting doy
lies under the finger-bowls. "-Detroi
Journal.
Hitting His Pa.-Wicked Willie
Paw, l wuz good yesterday and wen
to Sunday school, when Tommy want
ed me to go to Sohmer Park and see tn,
monkey in cage. Amt you goin' t,
give me somethin' fer it? Paw-No
my son; you should be good because i
| is right to be good. Wicked Willie
All, gwon; didn't you tell me the las
time you licked me that you didn'
want your little boy to grow up goo,
fer nothin' ?-Montreal Star.
| A Scottish minister who was indefa,
| irabIe in looking uD his folk one ia,