davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
neafne.s Cannot he Cured

BY local applications. US they cannot reach the
disea ed portion OF the ear. There Is only one
Say to cure Deafness and that Is by consti-
tutional remedies Deafness Is caused by an
infiamed condition OF the mucus lining OF tho
Eustachian Tube. When this tube Is Unnamed
YOU have a rumbling sound or imperfect hear
ing. and when II is entirely closed deafness u
the result. and unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to It's normal
condition. hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out OF ten are caused by catarrh,
which is nothing hut an intlamed condition OF
the mucus surfaces.
Wewill give One Hundred Dollars Tor any case
of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannQt
be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free. n
Sold py Druggists, 15c.
Halls Family Pills are the best
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
All SINS WAY.

The Condemned Mandarin-"What
me gette? Muchee big lettee. Me get
tee inside plitty quick.
"Velly bad writtee. Me no likee.
What say? Hi, you, Plince Sing, you
light away, velly quick business, com
nit suicide. Gettee swift move on you.
No foolee.'
"Muchee bad lettee. No goodee. No
likee Suicide. No aglee samee me.
Say must do it. All lightee. No
can help. Evlysing in goodee shapee.
Now me go out and catchee Suicide
Substitute. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
fFz2EeS>@
@ S IF 4ellbStHE>$&Se5k

1t might see her when she un1ressed
for bed"
That's pretty modest, but have q
cousin who beats her." the Kenwood
girl replied "She never eats potatoes
that are boiled with the skins on. II
men happen to be present"
81 don't see what that has to 40
with modesty."
'She says it's so shocking to take
their clothes of right before people. -
Chicago Record Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

Home and Garden, a 16-page Illus
trated monthly paper, tells all about
the fine climate, fertile grain and fruit
lands, timber, mines, fisheries. etc..
Of the wonderful Northwest. the rich
est undeveloped portion of North Am
erica. The regular price of the paper Is
soc year. If you will cut out and re-
turn this ad., state name Of paper in
which it appears, and enclose 1Oc IN
silver, Home and Garden will be sent
you, postage paid. for one year. ADJ
dress Home and Garden, Newspaper
Row. st. Paul, MINI.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
Unique Mixinr OF Religions

There was unique mixing OF re-
ligions at meeting recent in New
York. 1t was a meeting Of the Baron
and Baroness Hirsch association and
was held In the Baptist church Of
which Rev. DR.. Macarthur Is pastor.
The baron and baroness were Jews.
WI Ting Fang. Chinese minister to
this country. was the principal speak
er and Rev. DR.. Heber Newton, the
distinguished Episcopalian divine. also
delivered an address.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
THE HOSTESS, FUNNY STORY.

From the Milwaukee Sentinel: They
were seated about the dinner table In
fashionable West Side boarding
house yesterday enjoying the extra
frills OF the Sunday meal, which had
appealed to the inner consciousness
of the entire household and made
them satisfied with the landlady and
the world in general. The men folk
told stories and the women laughed,
and the women told stories and the
men folk laughed. Then the mistress
told story:
"A very dignined young. man took
seat in a smoking car. Near him
were three travelling statesmen, we'll
dressed, jolly fellows, one Of whom
| suggested a game Of cards. and the
others agreed They appealed to the
| young fellow to take part and make
| up a four-handed game.
THANK, you, | never play cards.
came the response to the invitation.
81 am sorry for that viii you
have a cigar with us?' added The
SpOheSudI, plOuuClHS Hio NaSo'
81 am obliged to you, but l never
smoke replied the dignified young
| man.
They thought they would jolly the
young fellow out of dignity, so the
leader produced a travelling compan-
.ion.' and asked:
LAS you do not play cards nor
smoke, you will not refuse to join us
in a drink?
81 thank you, gentlemen. but
never drink
with this a venerable man with
ministerial aspect sitting in the seat
behind the young man, reached for
ward and tapped him on the shoulder.
81 have heard what you have said
to these men, said the sedate old fell
low, and admire you for the stability
of character which has enabled you to
shun bad habits. I have daughter
in the parlor car, whom l should like
to have you meet.
II thank you, sir replied the young
man, turning about and facing the
gentleman, but the fact is never In
| tend to marry" ~
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
Eau Of a brilliant Man.

Theodor Butkievitch. whose death
at Buda-Pesth was reported few days
ago, was once considered one OF Rus
sia's most brilliant artists. For twen-
ty-four years he was a prisoner In the
Siberian lead mines, on a charge OK
insulting Alexander II. He escaped
finally, and after many suferings
reached Buda-Pesth. He became
habitual drunkard and was frozen to
death while intoxicated.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
FROM DEATHS DOOR.

Hillsdale, ILL.,, April 29th.-Much in
terest has been aroused here over the
case of William Marks, who has been
In a dying condition for several
months with an apparently incurabfe
Kidney Disease.
The leading physicians Of this place
had pronounced his case a hopeless
one, and others from Port Byron,
Geneseo, and Davenport, Ia, had at
tended him, and in a consultation de-
cided that he could not live.
In desperation, his nephew inquired
Of Mr. l.. F. Giles, local druggist, as
to last resort. Mr.. Giles suggested
Dodds Kidney Pills, remedy which
had Just been introduced here.
The results were marvellous. Mr..
Marks Immediately began to improve,
and within a few weeks was able to
be up and about, completely cured.
His cure is the talk Of the neighbor-
hood. and is considered nothing short
Of miracle.
There appears to be no doubt that
this new remedy, Dodd's Kidney Pills.
will cure any case Of Kidney Disease
for the more malignant forms, such as
Brights Disease. Diabetes, and Drop
sy, yield readily to its remarkable in
fuence. These forms Of Chronic Kid
ney Disease have hitherto been consid-
cred incurable, and have baff1ed all
medical skill, and yet, this new rem
edy has cured every single case In
which it has been used, in this neigh
borhood. The doctors themselves are
amazed at the wonderful work Dodd's
Kidney Pills are accomplishing IN
Rock Island County.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
Mormon. CnNnizing in Mexico.

Five million acres Of land have been
purchased from the Mexican govern
ment for the establishment of Nor
mon colonies. The land is in tho
states of Durango, Tamaulipas, Goa
hula and Vera Cruz. In the course OF
the next four months 10000 Mormons
are expected to locate there. the
Mormon colony in the state of Chihua-
hua was recently enlarged by the ar
rival of about 1000 settlers from Titan.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
Career and Character Of Abraham lincoln.

An address by Joseph Choate, Am
bassador to Great Britain. on the career
and character of Abraham Lincoln
his early life-his early struggles with
the world-his character as developed
in the later years Of his life and his
administration, which placed his name
SO high on the worlds roll Of honor
and fame, has been published by the
Chicago. Milwaukee & st. Paul Rail-
way and may be had by sending six (6)
cents in postage to F. A. Miller, Gem
eral Passenger Agent. Chicago. III.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

DR.. Horatio c. Wood, one of the
best known authoritis on therapeu-
tics in this country and professor
in the medical department of the
Pennsylvania University, has been
compelled temporarily to give up his
practice and lectures and to retire
from active work. He has broken
down from the strain of overwork.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
1--WE LET HIM CRAWL AWAY"

I'VE LET HIM CRAWL AWAY"
very funny over 1t or will repeat it
again.
The people of Wolf Creek who were
out searching last Sunday for Thomas
White, who had been missing for sew
eral days. found his old hat. one Of
his boots and his Winchester rifle.
The rest OF him and his outfit were so
mixed up with the tracks of a cinna-
mon bear that there was no further
doubt Of his fate. Thomas was man
Weighing 200 pounds. and he probably
filled the hungering vacuum in sat-
isfactory manner.-C. B. Lewis (M.
Quad, in Chicago Daily News.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
English Commander, Wings Clipped.

In memorandum recently address,
ed to Lord Salisbury. prime minister,
General Lord Wolseley says that my
army has become like fifth wheel to
coach. l have neither the supreme
authority exercised by the secretary
of state, nor the administrative powers
conferred on those below me-"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
SAMPLES OF CHICAGO MoDEsry.

'I have an aunt" said the Oak Park
girl, "who Is an old maid, and I'll bet
you she is the most modest thing you
ever heard Of Do you know what she
did one night not long ago when we
had the curtains down in her room?
She stayed up three hours, waiting for
the moon to set, for fear the man in
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
Cotton's Political Ambition.

Fassett A. Cotton, who for six years
has been state deputy superintendent
Of public instruction in Indiana, has
resigned, with the notable purpose Of
attending college, securing a degree
and then becoming a candidate for the
position Of superintendent.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
what Do tho children DRINK

Don't rive them tea or coffee. Have you
tried the new food drink called GRAIN-Ot
IL is delicious and nourishing, and takes the
place of coffee. The more Grain-O you give
the children tho moro health yor distribute
through their systems, Grain-O is made OF
pure grains, and when properly prepared
tastes like the choice grades Of coffee, but
costs about u as much. All grocers sell 1t
iBo and ESQ.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

There's one great comfort about the
germ theory" said the man who wor-
ries about his health.
What is that?"
1T is impossible to believe that a
germ can ioiter around good case OF
la grippe, even on business, without
getting a touch Of 1t himself. Wash
ington Star.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
HAD DONE HIS BEST.

Your constituents are getting an
noyed with you," said the faithful ad-
wiser.
For what reason?" inquired Sem
ator Sorghum.
They say you haven't done thing
to discourage the trusts that are be-
coming so rich and arrogant"
you go back and tell my constitu-
ents they wrong me. Tell them that
whenever l have come in contact with
a trust have done all in my power to
take some of its money away from it."
Washington Star.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
An Art Opportunity.

ooh, Tommy, what made you paint
that poor kitten yellow and green?"
well. ma, l had lot O Easter aigs
dye left-an' you allus told me never t
waste nothin'."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

What do you think of these people
who claim to remember their previous
reincarnations?
Il think they were once geese, and
haven't got over it."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
PRONOUNCE 1T.
sigridur Jonsdottir, II
Kirmarstodum,
Reykholasveit,

Sigridur Jonsdottir,
Kirmarstodum,
Reykholasveit,
Bardastrandarsyslu,
Iceland, Europe.
This Is the address given In an order
for Dodd's Kidney Pills received and
filled by the Dodd's Medicine Company
Of Buffalo. on April 10th. This unique
direction means that to reach the sick
people of Iceland. the parcel must
travel to New York. then to London.
Eng. then northwest to Greenland. to
be landed finally. on the lonely island
at the edge Of the Arctic Circle. This
Is a pointed illustration Of how United
States goods find their way to
the remotest corners of the earth.
AID erica today. produces better medi-
cines, as we'll as better manufactured
articles than any other country In the
world, and this fact accounts for the
demand for Dodd's Kidney Pills from
every part Of the known universe
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03
LITTLE LAUGHS.


"If you had a prosperous debtor who
wouldn't pay you a cent. what would
you do to get even with him?"
I'D kidnap his cook"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

People expect much from Garfield
Tea and they are never disappointed;
1t purifes the blood and cures stom-
ach. liver, kidney and bowel disorders.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

"You can't judge man by his
looks says the Manayunk Philoso-
pher; "a broad-chested man may bs
very narrow-minded."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

There are something's that even the
most absent minded of us cannot for
get.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

Ask your grocer for Red Cross BAH
Blue. Large ZOE. package cents
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

According to astronomy the dog-star
must be a sky-terrier.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-03

The man who does little and does
1t we'll does a great deal.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-16
THE SENATE PROGRAMME.
The Great Appropriation Bills to
Have Right of Way.

The Republican Committee on Order OF
Business in the Senate yesterday endeav-
ored to map cut legislative programme
for the remainder of the session, but be-
yond deciding not for the present a least
to disturb the Ship Subsidy bill from its
place at the head of the committees list
deferred further action until later.
1t was generally understood, however,
that but little beyond the great appropria
ton bills would be thrown upon the SEN
ate in the two weeks remaining, and but
small hope was expressed that a vote
could be had on the Shipping bill There
is considerable pressure from individual
Senators for the consideration of meas
ures not Of general interest, and the
meeting was held largely in response to
these opportunities One of these meas
ures is the Omnibus Claims bill carrying
an appropriation of some s.. 000, 600 to pay
judgments of the Court of Claims under
the Bowman and French spoliation acts.
which is being urged by Chairman War
ren, of the Claims Committee and group
of Senator'S from the border States. Just
what provision If any will be made fer
| taking up this and other comparatively
minor matters will be considered at the
adjourned meeting Of the steering COM
mittee.
Under yesterdays agreement OF the
Senate steering committee the Oleomar-
garine bill will be considered today, but
| the opposition is SO great that there is
| no likelihood of a vote upon it. 1t is the
general opinion now that no further leg s.
| latin will be enacted at this session ex-
cept the appropriation bills anu oolfrr-
| ence reports. This includes the War Tax
| Reduction measure.
1t is probable that the River and Harbor
| bill will be allowed to go by the board.
| There is very general opinion on the Re-
publican side OF the Senate that it is one
| of those bills that it would be we'll for
the Republican party to let alone. 1t is
possible that when 1t becomes evident
that the bill cannot be passed a compro
mise substitute will be agreed to either
as a separate measure or as an amend
ment to one OF the regular appropriation
bills appropriating a lump sum, perhaps
$40, 600 GOO, to be expended under the d.
rection of the Secretary Of War, for the
continuation of such projects as he re-
CARDS as of paramount necessity.
President Mckinley is still impressed
with The desirability of an extra session
soon after the present session Of Congress
expires, to consider the Cuban question.
Senators and REPRESENTATIVES, almost
without exception. are endeayoring to dis
suade him from his purpose of forcing Con-
gress TO face the question now, but they
are not sanguine Of success.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-16

grew, and when he rriauc an ailusion to
MIR. Tillman the latter made humorous
( appeal to Senators near Mr.. Chandler TO
protect him (Mr. Tillman) from 'intimi-
dation." Mr.. Chandler ridiculed the SEN
ator from Colorado for asking Mr.. Al
drich why he did not withdraw the Sub
sidy bill. II reminded him Of the fable OF
the lamb that was accused of muddying
the water. although the lamb was drink
ing of it down stream.
'How long" Mr.. Pettus drawled out in
solemn tones, has that lamb been a
lamS?"
As usual. Mr.. Chandler stirred up sew
eral Democratic Senator'S, accusing them
of filibustering and n somewhat excited
interchange of charges and counter
charges afforded much amusement to SEN
ators and spectators in the gallery.
Mr. Teller remarked sarcastically that
Mr.. Chandler was not exceedingly anxious
about the passage of the bill. He (Mr.
Chandler) might vote for it, but he did
not think that he had lain awake at night
for fear ii should be sidetracked.
MIR. SpOoner gave notice that he would
call up the Oleomargarne bill tomorrow.
Mr. Hanna expressed his establishment
at Tho reckless statement" made by the
opponent of the Subsidy bill that he would
not allow the Senator from Colorado or any
or TO ascribe to him motives which he had
not. From the time that the Ship Subsidy
bill had been introduced until now the
efforts which he had made for its passage
were for the purpose of accomplishing
what he had sought to accomplished up
hold the merchant marine OF the United
States and 10 benefit the conditions of
the people of the United States.
THE Senator from Colorado" he con-
ct lie Of u ig tn obi n
the people on the stump last fall to the
RIGHTEOUSNESS of the measure. He did;
ard so did every orator that the Demo-
cratic party had on the stump; and you
have got your verdict. And you will get
it again. So far as l am concerned, l pro-
pose to occupy in regard to this bill the
same position from now until the 4th of
March which l occupy today. / will de-
mand fair treatment for it-as an honest
measure, with an honest intent-and | do
not propose to be sidetracked by any Sen
ator on the other side.
1T has not been the PURPOSE of the
friends of the bill that it should interfere
with any necessary public business, and it
has not done SO. My interest in it is
because / believe it to be for the interest
of the people of the country. l believe
that it means the upbuilding of a new in
dustry-a kindred industry to those that
have made this country great and pros
porous. 1t means another step in the di-
rection of deyelopment-not confined to
section nor to party. ! resent the charge
that it is a measure TO loot the Treasury.
If such measures had for their object
TO get money out OF the United States
Treasury, what about the River and Har-
Dor bill and many other bills Of which we
have heard within the last few weeks?
Il make no charges; but do say, and
say it most emphatically, that there are
measures proposed in that bill Cthe River
and Harbor bil) which pale the Shipping
bill"
After brief rel binder from Mr.. Teller,
he Senate, at p m, adjourned until to-
lay.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-16
THE ARMES-PLATT CASE.
Effort to Compel Surrender of an Al
legged Marriage Contract.

Senator William f. Chandler appeared
as counsel for the complainant in the cage
of Major George ii. Armes against Ella
NJ. Platt. which came up yesterday after
noon before Justice Bradley in Equity
Court No. 2. The proceedings instituted
by Major Armes against Miss Plat is to
compel her to surrender an alleged con-
tract of marriage, which she claims vas
entered into between she and Major
Armes, and is the outgrowth of a suit filed
by Miss Plat some time ago to recover
$50 600 for an alleged breach Of the con-
tract mentioned. In her complaint Miss
Plat filed as an exhibit copy of a con-
tract alleged to have been entered into
between herself and Major Armes.
The matter was called to the attention
of the court yesterday on the return Of
an order issued some days ago requiring
Miss Plat to show cause why the alleged
contract of marriage should not be sur
rendered by her, and also to restrain her
from further prosecuting her suit for
damages, based upon the contract referred
to.
Miss Platt is represented by Attorney
II. b. Moulton and Major Armes by Raj
ston & Siddons and Senator Chandler
Owing to the lateness at which the pro-
ceedings were begun the arguments in
the case were not commenced. After
hearing the complaint and answer read
the court adjourned until this morning,
when the hearing will be continued.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-16
STANDS BY THE FIGURES.
Director Merriam Declares the Par
Lersburg Census Correct.

Census Office officials are apparently not
seriously disturbed over the steps taken
by the mayor, postmaster. and other
prominent citizens of Parkersburg, WA,
to restrain them from giving officially to
the country the result OF the Government
enumeration Of the people of that city in
June last. On Wednesday, Charles II. Tur-
ner, mayor of Parkersburg, applied TO the
Supreme Court of the District for writ
of mandamus 10 compel the Director of the
Census TO make what they consider cor
rect enumeration. 1t was claimed that
the count Of the Census Office gave the
city a population Of II, 1903. when as mat
ter Of fact there were II, OIL people In the
city.
Director Merriam yesterday morning
said that he did not question the posi-
bility of Parkersburg having the people
claimed by the mayor. The number, H.
OIL, was found through an enumeration
made under direction of the postmaster
about December l. The figures given by
the Census Office. however were obtained
nearly six months before the postmaster's
count was made. The Director believed
them to be as nearly correct as 1t was pos
sible to make them, and he intended to
stand by them.
The difference between his count and
that of the postmaster might be accounted
for by natural fluctuation." Parkersburg.
he said might have had 14,041 people III
December, but it cid not have them in
July. The Parkersburg complaint seems
to have been based specifically on apparent
discrepancy found in one ward. There are
five wards in the city. In the ward re-
ferred to something like $50 more people
were found by the postmaster in Decem-
Der than the census supervisors enumera-
tors discovered in June. Director Mer-
riam says he enquired into the reasons
FOR this difference 1t YVES the result OF
families moving from other wards into the
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-16
THE SENATE ROUTINE.
1 Number of Bills Passed and Others
FavornbIy Reported.

In the Senate yesterday a resolution au-
thorizing the Committee on Indian Affairs
to visit and investigate the several Indian
reservations and Indian schools during the
recess and to take testimony was reported
and agreed to.
The following bills were passed. House
bill TO provide an American register for
the foreign built steamer st. George, now
the Enterprise, wrecked in Cuban waters.
and owned by the Merritt Wrecking Com
pany of New York.
Senate bill appropriating $4,000 for the
purchase of a replica of the bronze, eques-
TRAN statue of Gen. George Washing
ton by Daniel c. French and Edward c.
Potter, TO be erected in Washington.
Mr.. Mcmillan, from the Committee on
the District of Columbia, fayorably re-
ported a bill extending the time for the
instruction of street railway lines in
the District of Columbia.
Ar. Hoar. from the Committee on the
Judiciary, favorably reported bill pro-
viding for the codiication of the general
laws of the United States.
The consideration Of the Agricultural
Appropriation bill was then resumed.