West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-06-20
A PATRIOTIC SCHEME,
JERICHO VAS FOR HAVING A DECO
RATION DAY PARADE.
Zap Perkins, Postmaster, Tells How
horatio Sparrow Sprung the Idea
ON the Town and How Lish Billings
Gave II It's Deathblow.

ton day that Horato Sparrow come into
the postoficc lookin as II he had sunthr
on his mind, aud as soon as he got tho
chance he whispered to me:
Don't say nuthin to livin soul pap.
out I'm comm around here tonight aud
shake the town of Jericho from center TO
circumference.
I'm what way ?" said l.
Never you mind pap. You lest sit
ready TO feel the airth tremblc, and to.
morrow mornin YOU kin put Saoo more value
| on your house and lot"
Horato is man who never gifts excited
when he wakes up and duds a COW in his
garden. and felt quite sure he had sun.
thin big on hand. lie must hcv told about
so other people what he did me. as there
was a big crowd at the postofiicc at O'Clock
In the eycnin. and all expected to hear
big news. Deacon Spooner took charge of
things. as usual. aud as the GROVE got i'm.
patient he said
1T is understood. fcllcr citizens. that
Horation Sparrow is goin to launch thun.
derbolt here tonight, aud il is with more
than ordinary interest that | call the
mcetin to order stand out. Hofatio. and
let's hear all about it,"
Horatio stood out He looked pale, but
determined He'd bin thinkn fur a week
OF what he was goin TO say, and he started
of as smooth as grease.
The drums are beatin wild alarm.
There is wavin of flags. a marchin' of men
and wailin OF women and children. War
is upon the land. The life of a nation is at
stake. II is an hour when men are called
upon to give up their lives fur the sake Of
principle"
by John, but that's aowcry Ian.
guage!" exclaimed the deacon as Horatio
paused. III Horatio kin keep II up fur an
hour; I'm fur 'lectin him TO the next
legislature"
The farmer leaves his plow." continued
Horatio. the merchant his store and the
mechanic his bench They march away TO
find the enemy and fight him aud die Yes;
they yield up their lives that we may live
on in peace, and II we forgit the sacrifice
we ought to wither away like a burdock in
November"
Gentleman" said the deacon as the
applause had subsidized. up to the present
mint Horatio Sparrow has knocked the
socks oh'n Henry Clay as an orator. and I
am proud TO know that he is citizen OF
Jericho. Anything more Horatio ?"
II jest want to call your attention TO the
fact that Jericho has never had Dccora.
ton day parade" replied the orator I'VE
have never paraded and never decorated,
and say It's burnin shame and ought TO
be remedied at once"
by John. but that's a strong p'intl'
shouted the deacon. Hang me II Horatio
amt knockin things cndwaysl No. sir
we've never had a parade nor decorated
any graves and we ought to be ashamed of
ourselves. Is 1t your suggestion that we
celebrate the day this year. Horatio ?"
That's my pint, deacon"
And IT'S as strong as a log chain Yes.
sir we'll celebrate the day, and in order
to make 1t a howlin success I'll agree to
take charge OF the parade"
But object to that" said Horatio.
"Hevin originated this idea. think it's
fur me to ride on horseback at the head of
the procession"
There was painful pause. and then
Abner Jones, who was in fireman's Uniform.
Jumped OFF the counter and said
There shoul6 mt be no jealousy about
this thing Horatio would look purity fine
on his spotted horse. and the deacon
would be no slouch in his cooked hat but
If there's TO be any fcclin over il Tll take
the job of their hands. As I'm foreman
OF the fire company it comes in my line
anyhow"
u don't propose to give up my rights fur
nobody" said Horatio
And I'm thnkin I'm the man TO boss
things" added the deacon.
II don't want TO charge anybody with
hevIn too much check said Squar Hen.
shaw but ii do look a leeuc strange 10
me TO sec the way certain folks want TO
crowd TO the front on public occasions. II
there is purcession. It's got to be headed
by man who knows how 10 boss
things and can't be rsttled bossed the
parade the last time We had Fourth Of
July. and you may remember that the
newspapers said managed 1t better than
any we ever had "
'l'll allow that the squar did fairly
well, said Enos Williams as he shut no
his jackknife and got Of the sugar bari.
but there arc several other folks In this
town Of Jericho For instance. I'm here
myself When anything has happened
durin the last 90 years I've bin pushed be.
hind the currant bushes. as il was. and
some one else has carried of the honors
I'm comm to the front on this occasion or
know the reason why"
Why Enos, you don't purtend that Won
Kin boss a purcession. do you 2" asked the
deacon
OF course kin. Why not p"
IL appears TO me said Sias Lapham
as he stood out and rubbed bis hands TO.
gether. that SIC are not workin in com.
plcte harmony in this matter It will be
the event Of the century. II will be- known
from Maine to California that Jericho has
had a Decoration day and there will be
thousands Of inquiries fur real estate. Let
us sacrifice any selfish interests az iodi.
viduals and work 90 make the affair 1,
giucral success
That's powerful good advice. said the
deacon as be- raped on the stove with his
cane powerful good. allus stand ready
20 sacrifice and hope the rest Of you do
ANY further pint. Silas,"
You may call it pint or not. said
SHas. bot bcin there seems 10 be- a con.
trovcrsy here ] think 10 better be- settled
by scicctin me TO boss things don't
want it because I'm proud and want to
show on. but purely in the interests Of
! harmony.
'Ill never surrender my rights" said
fIorauo Sparrow
Nor me- added Deacon spooncr.
Nor mci yelled Abncr Ioncs and
\ Squar Henshaw in chorus.
It was evident that the mceun was ON
/ the pint of brcakin up In row when tisb
/ Bifffuoe cr,r,. sst,,,,,.,... t 90 - - i,