The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1901-08-03


spectively listerine and medicine for
the dog, will tend to produce kinks in
the masculine arm not diagrammed
in the ordinary anatomy of man.
There Is reason to imagine that the
procedure is also apt to superinduce
mental kinks, more or less similar In
character.
A man who is obliged TO edge along
sidewise through the world and the
street cars because of being laden
with parcels, must naturally get
one sided attitude toward life. He
who is forced to keep one eye on his
goods and chattels, with which he Is
perpetuaIly surrounded, seems logi-
caily certain to gain slanting view
of the world in general, while the
mental equipment Is reasonably sure
to become lop-sided to correspond
with the distorted figure made so by
an assortment of bundles.
There Is one commuter I'm this town
who has Joined union and gone on
strike. He is prominent in business
circles and distinguished in personal
appearance. Up to a few days ago
he went to his handsome country resi-
dence laden with packages of break
food. cantcloupes, hinges for the
scr<en door, yellow bowls for the
kitchen. rugs for the porch, carriage
| fixtures. two yards of baby ribbon,
new glass for the chicken incubator
and samples of white pique with
black polka dots. He does this no
more. He is eliminating the kinks
from his spine and the squint from
his mental apparatus
It all happened i'm this way. Mr.. y
was the meek and willing pack-horse
for the family. Anything that was
forgotten or needed. from paper of
needles to new ice cream freezer,
caused no constcrnat ton in the house
hold. Somebody would Carelessly re-
mark: "Oh, Jim will bring it up to-
morrow night" And all these things,
and more, Jim was continually bring
ing up tomorrow night and all the
nights.
In that family. home made root beer
has been in high favor this season
Last year it was Nassar fudge and
lemonade that added to the festivities
of the summer, but root beer has
superseded these dainties. Conse.
uucntly among the burdens of Mr.. y
periodical pilgrimages have been noted
brewers yeast as impcdimcnta
He was wont TO carry it in bottles
holding a small quantity, but as the
heat of the season advanced so in
creased the home consumption of root
beer. and in desperation one day hC
secured quart bottleful of yeast
which was placed in an unforgettabl,
spot in the window near his desk.
The summer sun beamcd cheerly il
at that window much of the day, ant
late in the afternoon something hap
pened. Mr.. y isn't quite clear on the
subject yet. His first thought wa
that somebody had blown up the Ho
tel Jermyn and the Board of Trad,
building simultaneously, and that
somehow. he was in the ruins. Othe
people were excited over the affair
too. and came running in for some
distance to find out what had happen
ed and To see a very dazed individ
ual emerging, like a rat from paste
apparently made of equal parts o
soap-suds and ground glass, Will
some blood intermingled. The yeas
jar had gone off most unmistakably
1t was good yeast conscientious in it
tHOGlS lb llSc Ill lUc Nollu, anu IL
enterprise resulted in the permanen
disabling of a suit of clothes and tn
temporary loss of usefulness of tn
owners leg. which was cut with glas
to painful depth. There was n,
root beer in the villa of the KS tina
week, and pony express has receive'
certain accession of prosperity sine
, that time.
, This problem of making the head u
the family the literal burden beare
during the months Of suburban resi-
dcnce has been solved by one ma
whose office was in the city while hi
home was a few miles out. Rathc
early in his married career his wifi
\ found it convenient to commission hir
with little crrands, to which, being
a good -natured person and eXtremel
devoted to his household divinity, h
took considerable trouble to give at
tention. Finally he came home on
night in a state of wrath and sore dis
Q pleasure and astonished his prett
a wife by wildly demanding: i've bee
"A good husband to you. heven't |, Ncl
c le?" why, yes, John" she replie
/ in alarm. visions of the awful poss
= bilities of overwork upon the brail
I prospective divorce, and all sorts {
dire calamities fitting through he
l mind. She thought with thrill c
!. horror that he must have found OF
that she had deceived him abou
> warming over the meat for breakfas
lie always had declared that h
!. wouldn't eat warmed over meat, br
4 it was such a nice piece of steak an
she was certain she could do it SO thu
, he'd never detect it, Surely her 81
: had found her out and she was pre-
. pared to rue bitterly her clevernes
n all the rest of her days.
e Then he proceeded with great in
e pressiVeness, Il don't want you eve
to ask me to buy another spool
Il thread or another can of French pea
or order coal bucket while we bot
70 shall live. I'm going to provide yo
" with a new telephone; we have OF
It already and as fast as they get an
N more companies you'll get anoth'
telephone. You have my permissiC
,S to so to town just as many times "A da
:, as you like and I'll furnish car far
Al but don't you expect me to do an
more shopping.
a aside from spelling my cuffs !
= writing memoranda, | feel that /
re losing professional ground by dor
u so many blamed errands which l.
n obliged to keep constantly in min
l. Today | remembered what you sa
g. about matching that lavender velv
~ (Here's your velvet; l hope you mf
~ like it,, but | forgot that l had I
v appointment with Mrs. Jones to S
." about getting her a divorce, and 10
the case, for she went across the sire
= TO another lawyer. She Is bound