New-York tribune., 1901-10-13
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

senator HdnrsdS secretary says JnaC SlnCe 1870
five hundred children have been ramed after the
Senator.
seen you at ouah revival meetin's. AIistah Black.
Mistah Black-Wot foh I want OBJ revival meet
';Don't you ebber pray?'
mo; I carry er rabbits foot."-CNew-York
Weekly.
recently. Herman Salter had wagonload Of mys-
terious looking half-pint bottles in an adjoining
grove. He carried samples among the crowd. say
ing with a wink that he had fine article of tea
The bottles sold like hot cakes and his load was
soon disposed OF. some of the thirsty ones buying
three and four bottles. When the purchasers went
10 secluded spots 10 sample the liquor they were
dsgusted by the discovery that it was really tea
and not whskey. they had supposed The tricky
vender arrested for obtaining money under
false pretences. but was acquitted, the magistrate
holding that the goods were as represented, and
the only deception was in the wink, and that
winking was not an indictable offence.
Was your interview with that young candidate
Not at ALL" answered the practical politician.
Couldn't YOU arrange deaI? IT. o.,...
TO my holding all the cards in my own hand
washington Star.
THE Boston Pilot says: The wounding and
partial defeat OF Colonel Kekewich the other day
at Moedwill, when four British officers were killed
and twenty-five wounded. adds another n. two or
them. in fact. the list of that initial in the
South African including KRUGER. Kitchener,
kelly-Kenny. Kpling. ct ketera."
Mistress-I saw you yesterday downtown; you
probably didn't seS me s or m you would i hSTe ~N 9g
! wasn't obliged to recognize you, you know.-(Bos-
ton Transcript.
There is curious paralelism between two
stories told respectively of the late Mr. Spurgeon
and of Dean Swift. Mr.. Spurgeon, on hearing OF
the devastation wrought by earthquake in
Essex. merely remarked: II am glad TO hear that
my old county is moving at last The dean Of
ST. Patricks. Dublin, was watching with friend
the roof of building which several men were
at work fixing states. Suddenly one of the men
vanished Thereupon the dean turned his COM
panion and said: Il like TO go quickly
through his work.
II always make money off that musician OBJ
served the marketman.
'I thought you made money OF everybody" said
the helpless customer
We'll, Of course, try TO- but you see he insists
that give him only four beets to the measure
Baltimore American.
"A late diner at one of the Chestnut-st. restau-
rants" says 1.-THE Philadelphia Record" was
puzzled by the actions of the head waiter who
with large kitchen knife, went from table to
table. avoiding only those that were in use. and
scraped off the under edge of every table Now
what are you doing that for?' asked the customer
Are you probing for stowaways% No answered
the with the big knife; but if you will feel
under the edge of your table 1 expect that you
will feel a lump about the size OF a marble The
customer tried the experiment. and found. instead
OF one lump. three of them. and so told the waiter
DO you know what they are?' asked the waiter
No We'll, you might not believe Il, but least
every other day 1t is necessary scrape those
Jumps off at every table. Sometimes we find as
many twenty of them under the edges OF one
table. They are chewing gum. left there by girls
At least girl out OF three takes a piece of
chewing gum from her mouth and sticks il under
the table when she sits down to luncheon din
ner'
Two clubmen discussing the financial af-
fairs of some of their acquaiutances.
NOW, there's Brown. He's been specializing
heavily in wheat. How has he come Out?"
Away ahead"
And there's Williams. He has dabbled extern
sively I'm oats. Has he made anything
HE hasn't done well Brown has. But
Thompson-you know Thompson
Yes, / know him.
''Well, he's worth much as Brown and WILL
Jams put together
There you're wrong. / know ThompSons cir
cumstanceS exactly. He isn't worth a cent
Just Brown is worth 500 900. and Williams
is 100000 worse off than nothing. IL you combine
the wealth of the two 1t amounts to nothing the
same as Thompson's Have you forgotten Your
mathematics?"-(Youths Companion.