The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-03-30
The Hother-in-LaIv.

\ correspondent of The Times wishes
To say a word for the much-abused /
rnother-in-ia,v.~ and insinuates that the
reason why some men make jokes at
he. expense IS that they have not due
respect for their mothers, This is a
matter which every person has TO settle
for himself. Bus there ale some things
which may safely be said about IT.
Like most old and cherished jokes,
this one Isroba bly, has a certain founda-
ton in truth Where there is much
smoke there is usually some fire some
NOTWITHSTANDING are 50 unpleasant as TO
move their victims 10 throw cloud
over the whole species. Others are sec
ond only to the real mother IN the esti-
nation OF their adopted relatives
The reason why the m"ther-in-law
has figured so ext ensiyely in comic pa
pers. ana has been 50 urarractive a
figure IN romance probably lies in the
nature Of things. 1t might almost be
said ina the supreme test Of a wonlan's
character comes when the marriage Of
son or daughter takes place There are
as many ways Of accepting this change
as there are Kinds Of women- The
event does not affect the father Of the
family nearly as much, because his
place Is not IN the home. and his IN
terests are in the outer world. The N
terests OF the wife and mother on the
contrary. are eli in her family. and
largely emotional in character. II
makes great difference 10 her what
the character Of The new member of it
may be. II her daughter be unhappy
with the man Of her choice, the mothers
sympathy and partisanship i naturally
stronger than that Of anyone else and
she does not always know how 10 eX-
ercise her influence wisely; above all,
how 10 let the young couple judiciouslE
alone. If her son chance to marry a
woman with whom she feels no synpa-
thy. and whom she regards as not quite
good enough for him. she is possessed
Of uncommon self-controI and tact if
she does NOT show her feelings. In that
case thu llausIrter-iu-lay must be, in
her tdrn. uncommonly loyal and = ise II
she can keep on good terms with her
husbands family. And all these eX-
tfaueous Influences, these interfetences
of veIl-meant sympathy, OF hurt feel
ing. or pride. or resentment, are brought
TO bear upon the man and woman at q
/ critical time in their lives, when they
are absorbed in the business OF getting
used 10 one another's habits prefer
/ ences. and faults. and in fitting as best
! they may TWO different personalities to
( the close and trying intimacy Of daily
/ life in he most eXacting Of human rela-
/ iions. K IS rot much 10 he wondered at
/ that the husband and the wife often de-
yelop a distinct and unmitisated hatred
Of each others maternal relatives.
/ Neither. especially If very Young, can
realize that il is not easy for a mother
! to break away. all at once. fIUm the
habit Of regarding her children as her
property, and that the more she has
| loved them while they were hers alone
the more anxious she viii be that they
snail receive all due care and consider
alton from others.
All the same. there Is mach - be said
on the other side. It j. only just to re-
/ quire more tact and consideration from
the raiddIe-aeed- who have had long ex-
/ perience Of life. than from the young.
When a woman has reached the age OF
fifty. she ought Il be capable of self
ish love, in place Of an extended
egotisn If she has not learned this
lesson, life has not taught her very
! much. She should. remembering her
OWN carly married days. recognize the
! fact that her daUEhter-In-law must
/ make mistakes. commit faults and fail
/ in various ways to realize the ideal to-
ward which she may he earnestly sJriy-
( ing: that the wife must inevitably ap-
! peal TO a different side Of the nature of
a man from that seen by his mother,
and that she. must therefore learn 10
understand him from her own point OF
view. She should know that. however
wise her own choice of wife for her
( son might have been. II IS better that he
/ choose one for himself; and that for her
( TO compare her daughter-.n-Iaw with
other women. To- the disparaGcmeur Of
/ the former. or strive by 50 much as the
/ lifting Of a finger 10 prevent the most
perfect understandings and affection be
4 tween the husband and wife. Is q crime
not only against them, bat against their
/ children. The very reason why West
| ern nations are more progressive than
/ those Of the Orient Is that IL the Anglo
| Saxon family the wife Is first. the rela-
| tives second. Thus the man is under
! but one supreme influence. that 10
which his nature most readily re-
! spon1s: and not being pulled here and
there by his natural wish 30 please his
wife. ard the enforced wish to obey his
| family, lac gives his whole strength 10
his work. and the result IS q success
which enables him to do his duty all
/ around, and neglect nobody We hay 9
| gained, IN Occidental Civilization, by the
/ absolute emancipation Of the family
| from the coDtrvi Of the former genera
| ton.