The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1901-03-21
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"A true poet writes poetry because
he cant help It," 'Oh, no; true poe
writes poetry because nobody can stoI
him. Chicago Record.
A Dreadful State of Affairs: He
Well, we can't believe more than hall
we hear. She-Oh, worse than that
cant believe more than half l say
Life.
as the boss Inf" asked the stranger
entering the drug store. NO" replied
the absent-minded clerk; "but we have
something just as good."-Yonkeri
Statesman.
Corrected.-Lady Tourist doing the
Cathedral OF Scotland)-This is Gothic
isn't 1t, John? Juvenile vendor OF
Guides" (severely)-No, mem; this Ii
byteriau.-Punch.
Cause and Effect.-"No wonder Gil
sey is good natured. Everything comes
his way" Perhaps everything comes
his way simply because he is good ma
tured. Boston Transcript.
an ice trust-it can't afford to shut up
shop like the mill trust, for instance
Jenkins-Why can't 1t? Jester-Why,
the iced melt.-Ohio State Journal.
Did you ever hear anything against
his honesty" mo, suh," answered Mr..
Erastus Pinkley. But he eats chicken
mighty regular on Sunday an he's allus
got an umberell when 1t rains. Boston
Herald.
Right IN His Line.-"The first Ameri-
can to enter Pekln was a soldiermu-
stefan who scaled the wall" well,
say, musician ought to be an expert
on the scale. hadn't heT-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
He Qn his wrath)-When | married
you had no Idea what fool you were.
She Din her equanimity)-The fact that
| was willing to marry you should have
removed all doubts on that point-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Indignant Citizen.-"Don't drag
my name into print in connection with
this absurd affair."" cried the indignant
citizen; "but If you do, be sure TO spell
out my middle name In full. "--Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
A Rise in Life: Casey-Since the
Hoolihans got rich, | sh'pose they're
t'rowin' on all kinds av shtoile. Muir
phy-I sh'd say so. They've changed
- 20
Baltimore American.
"Stimson Is a mean man." "Why
soF Hes got way of keeping his
wife from going through his pockets
for loose change" "How's that% HE
spends it all before he gets home."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Resting His Eyes.-Exchange Editor
| am sorry to say my eyes have gone
back on me, and | can't read any more
Can't you give me something else to
do? Managing Editor-You might do
book reylews.-Exchange.
Very Aggrayating: Wife-Oh, doctor!
will John pull through? Doctor-Can't
say, maam. The crisis will not arrive
for at least week. Wife-Oh, dearl
And that bargain sale of mourning
goods ends to-morrow.-Judge.
Miss Blink and l hadn't seen each
other for nine years. 1.-THE meeting
must have been interesting" Eyes;
she reminded me that when l visited
her nine years ago | carried off her
room."-Chicago Record.
Clark wonder how a man feels
when he finds himself hopelessly bank
rupt. Clerk-Say, didn't your wife
ever insist upon having the dress
maker in to make her fall clothes right
after getting home from the seashore7
Life.
Quickly ld.-Friend-What was
your graduation essay about? Mabel
what the Astronomers Know About
Mars" Dear me! Why did you choose
that subject" Because ! didn't have
time to write much."-New York
Weekly.
The Cheerful Idiot: 81 wonder" said
the shoe-clerk boarder, "why they call
1t mistletoe?" ut is so called because
the miss1l toe the mark every time she
sees bit of 1t suspended 1t anywhere"
said the Cheerful Idiot.-Indianapoli
Press.
Tommy-Pa, what does disagree"
mean? Pa-Well, when two people
think alike they are said to agree.
Now, you can guess what disagree"
means. Tommy-O, yes. that's when
only one people thinks alike.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Scandal: "She seems to me one of the
most NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. young
women in Boston, "They ten dreadful
stories about her" "Indeed? Yes,
they say, for instance, that the lenses
of her spectacles are plain glass, with
no magnifying power whatever"-De-
troit Journal.
did you ever get religionT asked
the revivalist 'Well, should say SO
-13s pounds of It," replied the man.
"A hundred and thirty-eight pounds of
religlon," cried the reyivalist. How
did you get that" 1.-The only way that
a good many men ever get religion"
was the reply. II married it."-Chi-
cago Post.