The National tribune., 1901-08-29
BIRDS OF A FEATHER.
He That Is without Sin Among You, Let
Him First Cast Stone


He That is without Sin Among You. Let
Him First Cast Stone.
| EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: My genial
friend the enemy" Capt. ]. B. Kirk,
whilom of the 101st Pa, has written me
another letter, and, as usual, thereby
hangs tale, which 1 shall proceed to
unfold for the deectation Of the readers
of Tho National Tribune, the major num-
Der Of whom know how it was them
| selves" Kinks stories are invariably
amusing-yide 'Morgan's Invasion" The
following points moral, although it may
be tale unadorned.
Down at Harrodsburg, in old Ken
lucky, an ex-Federal soldier, whose name
1t IS not necessary here to mention, was
arraigned in Circuit Court charged with
stealing cattle, and the prosecution had
no trouble in proving the indictment be-
yond reasonable doubt. Phil Thompson,
Jr, was the prosecuting attorney, the
prisoner being defended by Phil Thomp-
son, ST., and Col. ThOs. G. Bell, all noted
criminal lawyers, famous for forensic elo-
quence. The Judge, the attorneys, the
Sheriff, the Clerk and every member of
the jury had only recently returned from
away down South in Dixie" where they
had served in the Confederate army
AS fOrlorn hope, the attorneys for the
defense introduced as witness the daugh-
ter of the accused, an exceptionally pref
ty girl, primarily to prove an alibi and
Secondarlly to enlist the sympsthies OF the
jurors. Twas all in vain. The eloquent
appeal OF Bell, supplemented by the dis
treSs and beauty of the weeping maiden,
failed to impress the obdurate hearts OF
the unsympathetic jurymen, who, having
Implacably made up their minds that the
prisoner Of
even the benefit of clergy, were yawning
and liStleSSly looking out the windows,
more charmed by the outside landscape
than by the eloquence of the prisoners
counsel. "Old Phil Thompson in the
midst of an imprisoned appeal for lem
lency, realizing that he was making no
impression upon the adamantine hearts of
the jurors, and knowing that mis- client
was already condemned, suddenly paused,
sat Gown on table, and for a few mo-
ments intently and quizzically eyed the
obdurate jury.
Finally, his face wreathed in smiles and
humorous twinkle in his eye, "Old
toward the jury, exclaimed: Look here,
gentlemen, this theft was committed dur
ing the war. You surely are not going
to convict this man for having appro-
priated the property of another to his
own use and benefit in war time. I know
and you know, that not many moons have
Waned since nearly every man in this
court room was stealing horses, cattle,
hogs, sheep and poultry" Again, 'Old
Phil' took a rest on the table He now
had the attention of court and jury, the
latter ceasing to study the outdoor seen
cry. All were interested, and expectantly
awaited odd PhiPs' next move and
declaration. Dramatically, he was on his
feet again. You, sir, pointing to the
foreman, don't you remember that sheep
you stole from poor widow woman in
POwelfs Valley, over the mountains in
old Virginia? You, certainly, are estopped
from convicting this man, who simply
stole cattle from a plutOcratic Blue Grass
patrician, while you were stealing sheep !
from plebian mountain widow" Every
body was now wide awake and smiling.
And yOI," calling the next juror by
name, don't you remember stealing that
magnificent horse of royal pedigree from
4ieXanders pasture over in WoodfOrd
County? You can't send a man to prison
for stealing cattle"
odd PHIL was now getting there with
both feet, so to speak, the interest of his
auditors growing in intensity. Address
ing each juror personally, cynical "Old |
Phil'' reminded him of the time and
place, when and where, he had stolen |
something livestock. No MEM |
Der Of that jury pleaded mot guilty." |
Phils" accusing declarations. Following |
another dra matte pause, the relentless old |
lawyer turned to the prosecuting attor- |
ney: And there's Phil Thompson, jr., |
my Phil; was he not one of John Nor |
yan's most inveterate -thieves-so |
clever at the business that he not only |
,tOie horses for himself, but for the other
fellows as well? What can Little Phil |
say against this poor, friendless prisoner
1t the bar?' Persistently and implacably |
old Phil' continued his accusations until |
le had convicted every member of the
curt except the Judge. AS a climax he
urned, if possible, more dramatically than
ever, facing the Judge. And / am sorry
o say that even his Honor on the bench,
I the whole truth were known'-here
he laughter, applause and general uproar
became so great that 'Old PHIL could not
complete his sentence, but all the same
lis client went Scot free. And the great
Judge said: Neither do | condemn thee;
20, and sin no more."-GEo. DALLAS
IoSGRoVE.