Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1901-10-31
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.
THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANo-
ING THE FURNITURE.

|
Brought Trouble to the Male Con-
tinsent and SORROW to HERSELF.
do you change the position Of the
furniture when you clean room"
inquired housewife No. Of a friend in
the course of heart to heart talk.
do L? Why, yes, indeed! 1 don't
feel as if the room is cleaned unless
change the furniture little bit. Do
your"
well. usually change the orna-
| ments around and so forth, but in the
spring and fall like to change every
thing in room-completely alter the
whole appearance of it. Then 1 fancy
the things are all new, and they seem
| to look prettier somehow. But, do you
know, my husband doesn't like it at
| all!'
Neither does mine! Isn't that singu-
lar? Men are SO peculiar!s
"Yes. indeed they arev'
| So many housekeepers share the
! views of these two that a story with
moral will not be out of place.
1t was the other night only that Mr..
Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to
bed at an unusually early hour, leaving
his wife reading in the sitting room.
He had headache and carried COB
let of water in his right hand. Fear
lessly advancing into the dark bed
room Mr.. Blank suddenly felt both legs
violently cut from under him. He
clutched wildly at the air and said
i hi of
ture. but there was nothing to save
him. He went down.
Good gracious. Henrym calculated
Mrs. Blank. hurrying to the scene of
disaster. What is the matter?
Where arc vou: Why don't you light
the gas Setting the action to the
m-s's'ls. she bsheld her husband sprawl
sl:aa asr'- ..e bed: the glass he had
| cs:":sd l,i, discharged its contents
acrS5,;: = a.llowSlams and shivered on
| tic :.,s
| Mr.. :i...!t.': did the talking for the
next ten i...auteS. He said that Of all
the bianEt'y blank folly of which the
mind cot.sd conceive this Of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said 1t was pretty thing for man to
walk into his own room and have to
fall over things in the dark. He said
he wouldn't stand it; the furniture
must be replaced where it formerly
| stood.
II shan't do anything Of the kind"
replied Mrs. Blank. 'It looks very
much nicer where 1t is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when you
get into dark roomy Fl
"S'pose you'd like me to crawl in on
all tours" snarled Mr.. Blank. 81
couldn't feel where the bed was unless
happened to touch the footboard. 1
thought I could walk sclearhoyer to the
bureau. l tell you it's a confounded
crank you have on this subject. Some
day you'll precipitates serious aeci-
dent" 40 - a &
III any one precipitates, it'll be you.
l should think" reterted. Mrs. Blank
icilyS And the furniture remained
| where 1t was. ~
It was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry a pile OF
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had q bottle Of
ink In his hand. and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course Of his peregrina-
tons IN search of It, however, he came
INTO Violent collision with the glass
door Of the bookcase. which he broke.
There We're also inky traces discernible
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
In. This time there was some balm for
her feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did it with the best will in
the world
Her own downfall was not long in
coming, however, although for few
days only minor Inconvenience were
met with, such as the abrasion of an
kles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles. Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
Ter the cage Of her pet parrot from the
window where 1t spends the day to the
snug corner where it passes the night
She did not trouble to light the gas, and
by some unaccountable mental lapse
she had forgotten the precise point at
| which tabouret, on which stood q Jar
diniere, was stationed, She charged
into the tabouret with considerable
force, was oyerbalanced by the weight
OF the cage In her arms and took a
header with a resounding crash. The
parrot shrieked. and, unable to distin-
/ guish friend from foe, inflicted severe
bite on her mistress finger. Mr.. Blank
came in hurriedly. picked up his wife
and assisted in making an inventory Of
sundry Commissions. Then they lifted
the parrot cage, badly bent, and the
jardiniere with piece Clipped out of
1t and the tabouret somewhat scratch
ed, and then Mr.. Blank observed quiet
ly:
81 have just one thing to ask you.
Mrs. Blank. Was right?"
"No, you We're not!' retorted Mrs.
Blank =sayagely. Serious accident?
What's serious about this, should like
to know? For goodness sake, Henry.
don't stand there trying to look like
martyr! If you must have the furni-