The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1901-07-18
A Real Funny Story.

O'd Tim Linkins, the barber ofWabash Ave-
nue.. Chicago, is great student OF proverblal
philosophy, and he sometimes entertains bis
customers, in tho interval Of "scrapc" or
haircut" by his apt applications of the we'll
known proverbs Of the past to the conditions
or requirements Of the present. His regular
customers know his strong point, and many a
man who apparently goes in for shave, ID
really in search Of a rest in cosy chair, and
has q dosiro to hear Tim hold forth pro-
verbally. Ono day last week n stranger CAME
in for shave, and as he stretched himself
wearity In tho chair, Tim prepared to lather
him. Tho man incidontly remarked that hc
had intended coming in earlier in the day but
had been prevented. "Well, It's better late
than never" said Tim, smilingly. "Not al
ways" replied the stranger, slowly. How
one until ycstcrtlay-ncver did, but would
sooner have kept It. Now, why was it better
for me to lose 1t late than not at all ?" Tim
acknowledged that he was wrong and the man
continued: Don't know what would have
dono in my predicament, only ON old acquain-
tauce Of mine on tho Lake front let me have
twenty to 80 on with" "Ah,' Clipped in
Tim, ''that was good! A friend in need Is q
friend indeed "No, he isn't" snapped the
man who was being shaved. 'There you're
dea wrong again. How can friend In nced
be friend indeed? have good many friends
who arc always in need and they are nuisance
tome Always Oh tho borrow" Tim thought the
problem over in his mind and reluctantly ad-
mitted that the man was right. He had al
most made up his mind not to speak again
when tho stranger continued, eyes sir, they
arc nusanccs. Wny, ono of them fellows has
beon calling on me for the past year and
threatens to get oven with mo some way il
do not loan him fifty dollars. He threatens
nc at every WITT "Oh, wouldn't mind
that" replied Tim unconsciously, you know
tao old adase "A barking dog mover bi!s,.'"
aIber the
his mouth "Say, what do you know about
dogs, anyway, that you talk in such silly
strain Have you ever venturcd to go too
close to barking dos,-and if you did, what
did be do to you Did you ever know bark
ing dog that didn't bite it he got tho chance?"
Tim said he cou 'dn't exactly coll to mind any
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled tho
claim in the proverb, aad there was q. silence
for a few minutes while his razor was gliding
over the mans face. Then the barber smiled
to himself as he bethought him Of q good joke.
Il suppose" no said, as no applied the bay
rum, II suppose you don't believe in the bar.
bers' proyerb at aall?" What's that ?'' asked
the stranger, rising. "Two heads arc better
than ono,'' answered Tim. "Of course you
can understand why they arc, in my business,
but know you would like to say they would
be bad for man with the headache or"
Nothing OF tho kind, put in the other, snlil.
ing. "Ono Of your proverbs, at least, is right.
happen to know that two heads aro better
than one" "Then you don't object to that
old adage p Mot a: all. It IL dead rishs.
And I would thank you very much If you havo
any stray Lion heads at hand-those taken
from tho Lion Coffee wrappers. Ny wife is
collecting them and she is about six shy OF
tn, number required to get Lady's Gold
Watch. You see in this case "two heads aro
better than ono, and twenty are better than
ten." "Just so,'' added Tim, cheerfully, "but
you see, my wife is doing the same thing, and
expects premium in few weeks. So to her
also, two heads are better than one. "Well,
in that case," said tho stranger, as he paid
Tim for the shave and prepared to depart,
"you had better tell your vito to do the Same
as nine is doing. Save up the Lion heads
until after September 1st next, whom the new
Premium List is issued. Then if she sends
them to the Woolson Spice Co. Toledo, Ohio,
che can have hor pick Of some very choice
presents' -