The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-01-30
THE AMATEUR REFORMER.

THE AMATEUR REFORMER.
Called to the Stage Under Protest, He
Rose to the Occasion.
Chicago Tribune
The Balzac Club a literary aggregation
in the suburb known as Gumhurst, has
arranged for lecture by Professor Kan
thus Bibben Tucker, noted purveyor or
advanced thought from an Eastern coll
lege. The subject, as previously announced
in the papers and by means of small bills
pasted on telegraph poles. the sides of
barns, and other public places in the neigh
borhood, was 1.-THE Literary Outlook for
the Twentieth Century"
In view of the fact that no member of
the club had parlor large enough for the
purpose it had been thought best to hold
the meeting in the village hall.
1t was nearly o'clock and a good-sized
audience had assembled, but the speaker
had not yet arrived. and the managers
were moving uneasily in their seats.
AS the clock struck the hour, however,
the door opened and a stranger came in
"a tall, spare man. slightly stoop-shoul-
dered, with no beard except slight fringe
just in front of the ears and carrying
a silk hat in his hand.
AS he stepped inside the hall the presl-
dent of the club sprang to meet him.
You are a little late, professor" he
whispered.
YES" replied the other. with a smile.
but
Better late than never. Train was de-
layed. 1 presume?"
20 yes, they always are, you know.
''The audience has been waiting some lit
tie time. and / think it will be bescto
go on with the lecture at once"
but I'm not
That's all right, professor We didn't
expect you to come in full dress. anyway"
But don't you think you'd better be"
"You see the people are growing impa-
tient, professor. We will go to the plat
form now. if you please. and will intro
6uce YOU"
do you think that's necessary? have
never been introduced to an audience"
WELL said the president. considerably
surprised, well waive that If you prefer"
The stranger proceeded to the PLATFORM
| removed his overcoat and began at once TO
address the assemblage.
II ought to apologize" he said cor at
least offer some explanation, but the gen.
tleman who met me at the door. and who
/ presume, is the principal officer of your
| society, kindly refused to accept any, and
l will plunge at once into my subject. The
| lecture this evening, the handful the
outer door has 1t. is on The Literary Out
| look for the Twentieth Century,
Here he took from an inner pocket and
| laid upon the desk beside him a document
presumably containing the heads of his
| discourse, but looking more like suburban
| railway time table, and went on:
From my point of view, ladies and gen.
| tlemen, the literary prospect for the CEN
| fury is bilious-undeniably bilious. There is
| a distinctly yellow hue over everything
| / speak not of the yellow journal, for that
| is only passing phase and will turn to a
vivid green when the publishers grow suf-
| fciently blue over it. Neither do I refer ~
| the yellow terror which some persons think
| they see through the open door in the far
| East. But literature in general is yell
| low, like aged cheese, and gives forth a
corresponding odor-and it doesn't smell to
heaven, either. We have shaken Sir Wal
| ter Scott and taken up with Hall Game.
Jane Austen has dropped out and Laura
! Jean Libbey has come in. For Oliver Gold
! smith and Charles Lamb we have substitute
| ed John Kendrics Bangs- We turn up our
noses at Pope, Dryden, Coleridge, Poe, Bry-
| ant and Longfellow. and read Ella Wheeler
| Wilcox. We have given the cold shoulder
| to Thackeray and the glad hand to lola.
We go to the literary grist mill once a
| ford or Marie Corelli to grind us ont
| a fresh novel. We tire of heroes
| like John Halifax, and flock after Sherlock
| Holmes. Fanny Hodgson Burnett catches
| on to the taste of the period. She quits
| writing about goody-goody little boys, and
goes TO work to out-Sand George Sand.
Tom Hardy puts yellow goggles over his
pair of blue eyes and goes into the scav-
| George Eliot now. when we have Sarah
| Grand? Howells and James are too truth
| full and not sensational enough for us,
| so we read the 'DamnaSion of Theron
| The Redemption of David Corson' is
| equally bad in spots we tackle that Our
solid literature is To Have and to Hold,
| Richard Carvel,' and all that brood, and
| for light, restful reading we pick up Idle
Born, or the Web of Life We do worse
than that. We organize yellow literary
clubs, name them in honor of disreputable
| Frenchmen. and talk solemnly about the
depraved literary tastes of the age May
| the Lord pardon u.s. we give lectures on
| the general outlook Of literature
The Mortified silence with which the audi
| ence was listening to this was disturbed
| by a commotion at the door A dis
| Notwithstanding stranger, wearing a fur
| trimmed overcoat and enormous glasses.
| had just come in.
There was hurried consultation and
the president OF the club came to the plat
| foriu.
May I ask you who you are?" he said
| to the stranger who had been speaking.
"Yes, sir. My name is Civilians L tried
| ture, but you wouldn't have it, And now.
ladies and gentlemen, the eminent pro-
| lessor whom you came to hear having ar
rived. 1 will occupy your time no longer.
| L thank You sincerely for the lamb-like
| patience with which you have listened to
me, and you may blame your president
| for whatever / may have said that Won
don't like
| Thrusting back into his pocket the SUBJ
| urban time cardiff that is what it was
| thai lay upon the desk, he stepped down
| from the platform, took a seat in one of
/ the front rows, and listened serenelv TO
the eloquent lecture that presently began.
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