davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
SENATE'S LITTLE GIANT.
Spooner of Wisconsin Said to Be Pres
identiaI Possibility.

spooner of Wisconsin Said to Be Pres
identia1 Possibility.
The eyes of some of the political
prophets at Washington are on Senator
John G. Spooner, of Wisconsin. They
think he is good presidential timber
and has an excellent chance of being
nominated in 1904. Spooner is an in
teresting figure. He is small of stature
quick and fiery in debate and one of the
most Independent men in the Senate
says a Washington writer. Nobody
controls Spooner but himself. He has
been the ablest and most eloquent de-
fender Of the present administration in
the great crisis Of the last few years
and at the same time has shown the
most independence. He threw down
the gauntlet to Senator Hanna and re-
fused to regard the ship subsidy bill as
party measure.
Spooner is called the little giant of
debate in the Senate. He does not
speak often. He is reserved for emer-
gencies and when he speaks there is a
full Senate to hear him. He has all the
attributes of the orator, and, coupled
with these, all the methods of a great
lawyer. These combined make him the
most invulnerable debater in the SEN
ate. He has the fire of Tillman and the
culture Of Lodge, the quiet wit of
Mason and the profundity of Hoar; the
eloquence Of Depew OF, Foraker and the
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
SPEED OF AN EARTHQUAKE.
Preliminary Tremors Travel at Rate
of 345 Miles a Minute.

Preliminary Tremors Travel at Rate
of 345 Miles Minute.
Speaking of the Indian earthquakes
of 1897, a London scientist says the vi
brations Travelled to Europe, where they
were recorded at very many stations,
and no doubt would have been equally
well recorded atmany other places on the
surface Of our world had there been
provided suitable instruments. The
preliminary tremors, which are prob
ably waves of compression, Travelled
through the world to reach Italy and
other countries with an average rate of
345 miles a minute, or 8 kilometers
second-a rate which, it will be OBJ
served, is higher than that at which
similar movements can be transmitted
through glass or steel. The large waves,
which are probably Quasi-elastic gravi-
tation waves, by travelling over the sur
face of the earth, reached Europe at a
rate of 113 miles a minute, or 2.9S kilo-
meters a second.
1t is likely that these latter disturb
ances reached stations in Europe by
travelling from their origin in two direc-
tions round the world. AS an indica-
ton Of this, we are told that at several
Of the European stations slight undula-
tons are to be seen on the seismograms
at times we should expect to find such
markings, had they Travelled from India
to Europe by the longest possible route.
From the period of these waves, which is
taken at twenty-five seconds, and their
velocity, their length may be inferred,
an estimate Of which is thirty-four
miles; while their height, as deducted
from their length, and the maximum
angle of fitting, is estimated at twenty
inches
The slowness Of the movement was
such that they could not be felt, while
the magnitude was such that the unaid-
ed eye Of an observer would not be
able to recognize any differential move
ments in his surroundings. The large
ness of these disturbances and their
great duration, extending over several
hours, preclude them from the category
of tremors, vibrations or microscisms.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
TEXAS GIRLS ZIG-ZAG CAREER
PUTS FICTION ON THE SHELF.

The dime novelist may now go out of
business. Here are the facts:
Elaine Sinclair, born in log cabin,
in Blanco County, Texas. Farm boys
fought about her before she was 13.
Trashy books gave her longing for fine
garments. She put on her brothers
clothes, took a gun and waylaid the
stage which had passed by her house
every day since her birth. No suspicion
as to Elaine.
Several months after she returned
home, dressed to kill" Her old mother
said Elaine had been visiting her rich
aunt, who died and left her money.
Son of rich banker in the country
Slocum was his name-married the girl.
Honeymoon in New Orleans. Bride
wanted to go abroad. Groom said no.
Bride taken i'll. Grooms father, rich
old banker, comes on to see what's the
matter. Few days later son sent home;
old man fingers; hypnotized by his
daughter-in-law. They elope to Europe.
One day daughter-in-law disappears
with young and handsome man.
Old man Slocum, nearly penniless,
works his way home on tramp steamer.
Amount alleged to have been spent by
Slocum pere, $4,000.
Six months later, Elaine returned to
Blanco County, Texas, her old home,
radiant in ribbons, dazzling with dia-
monds.
A few months later, in New Orleans
again. Cage Horn, pilot of Creole, and
also high roller as a gambler, meets
her. Hypnotized. They travel up and
down the river
One night she proposes a scheme to
Cage Horn. Steal the boat and take
it into other waters. She does it. Boat
slips her cables and gets away. Reaches
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
An Interrupted Dream

~ ULIA PRIMM had finished teach
ri ing her first country school. The
~ last day had come and gone, with
pieces by the brightest pupils. The
child wonder had lisped several verses
to the infinite delight of its parents and
broken down in the same place where
it had been prompted twenty times be-
fore. The fat girl with penchant for
the pathetic had wrung the eyes of her
listeners with her most dolorous selec-
tion. The promising young man. a ia
vorite of the teachers, had rendered
'Spartacus to the Gladiators" in such
stentorian tones as to stampede some
passing cattle.
The parents had departed astonished
at the prodigious progress of every
body, and the scholars one by one had
said goodby and disappeared through
the doorway. -
The tall, smart-looking schoolma' am
was writing home to the folks in the
East. She was trying to put some Of
the ludicrous things that had happened
into her letter and leave out the home
sickness. 1t was no easy matter. For
six months she had thought Of little
else but the nice, bookish people in her
dear college town in Massachusetts,
and contrasted them with the frightful
specimens about her. Julia Primm was
well educated, having been reared in
a family where knowledge Of English
grammar was thought necessary to sal
vation.
She packed up a few of the letters
from her mother to read during vaca-
ton and started for the door. A mo-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Heroes Buried by Night.

One of the most romantic buriaIs in
history was that of Alaric the king of
the West Goths, who invaded Italy,
captured and sacked Rome Aug. "a.
410. After this success he was prepar-
ing to carry his arms into Sicily, when
he died suddenly at Cosentia, Italy.
His soldiers buried him in the bed of
the River Busento, after turning the
water into another channel. With him
was inferred great treasure and the
digging was done by prisoners who
afterward were put to death that the
exact spot might remain unknown.
Another Roman eonqueror, Attila the
Hun, was buried in 453 A. D. in the
midst of plain. His body was in
closed in three coffins-the first of gold,
the second of silver. the third and outer
of iron. He, like Alaric, was sur
rounded by great treasure and buried
by prisoners who were afterward
killed
A third secret and romantic burial
was that Of the Spanish explorer, Fer
nando de Soto, the discoverer of the
Mississippi River. Shortly after find
ing the river he died of malarial fever.
and to keep his body from falling into
the hands of the savages it was placed
in a coffin. which at midnight was
taken to the middle of the great stream
and sunk.-Woman's Home Comnan-
ion
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

honorably discharged. kesuming petit
coats. she settled on a ranch near Miles
City, Mont, but has since wandered
about from place to place in the West.
In 1884 she married Clinton Burk at Ell
Paso, by whom she had a daughter in
1886. The husband died In 1895. Mrs.
Burk's ambition then was to give her
daughter a good education. Though
only so years of age, Calamity Jane"
bears the scars Of dozen bullets, and
the hardships of her life have broken
her down. For several years past she
gained livelihood by selling book Of
her adventures
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
A Benefactor of His Kind.

A bright-eyed but ragged urchin en-
tered the shop of a tobacconist with
the intention of getting light for the
stump of a cigar, but there was no gas
jet to be seen.
"I say, mister, give us d light
"We sell lights, sonny"
"Well, sell us one," and he placed
down his last halfpenny on the counter,
for which he received box of matches.
and having secured light offered the
box to the tobacconist, saying:
PUT them on the shelf, mister, and
the next gent as asks for light, give
him one O. mine"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

the Rio Grande and is repainted and
fioated under the name of Elaine. For
weeks and weeks the voyages were like
that which Cleopatra is said to have
made on the Nile when she wove the
meshes about Anthony.
Weeks later Alva Lugo. Mexican
gambler. on board. Big game between
him and Cage Horn. Latter loses.
Finally puts up the boat and loses his
craft. Horn shoots himself and dies in
Elaine's lap.
Elaine in Guadalajara. Married to
rich old Don. Lives in palace. Still
beautiful, still youthful, still dream!
Enter rich Don's son. Hypnotized.
Elaine elopes with him. Old Don in hot
pursuit. Overtakes elopers as they are
about to set sail for South America.
Elaine defiant. In chains; then in Jail,
in Guadalajara. Son escapes.
Here the facts run out.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
MOTHER SAYS "coME IN"
In memory still 1 plainly hear

In memory still plainly hear
My mother calling: willie, dear
Come. Willie! Hurry in"
In fancy can see the door
And her there as she stood of yore,
And hear her say: Come in"'
In every gladdest hour Of play
My joys were always swept away,
For mother ne'er forgot to say
"Oh, Willie! Now come inn
o it was long ago that l
Obeyed that sweet, that fond old cry
OF "Willie dear, come inp'
And oh, 1 would that 1 could be
A child again, back there, and she
Remained to call me I'M
All, when my cares are put away,
When am through with toll and play
Shall 1, up there, hear mother say,
In loving tones, Come in?"
Chicago Times-Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Coaching for His Conversation.

AS an overgrown boy-for 1 was six
feet tall at fourteen-I had experienced
all the agonies of bashfulness in the
society of the other sex, though greatly
attracted to it, says Col Higginson. 1
find it difficult to convince my associ-
ates of later years that 1 then habitu-
ally sat mute while others chartered.
A word OF two of remonstrance from
my mother had in single day correct
ed this during my senior year, so far as
the family table was concerned, and
this emboldened me to try the expert
ment on wider field. I said to my
self, thinking of other young men who
made themselves quite agreeable:
''These youths are not your superiors-
perhaps in the recitation room or the
playground hardly your equals. Why
not cope with them elsewhere?" Thus
Influenced, conquered myself in a
single evening and lost my shyness for
ever. The process was unique, so far
as l know, and 1 have often recon-
mended it to shy young men.
Being invited to a small psrty. I
considered beforehand what young la
dies would probably be there. With
each one had, of course, something in
common-kinship, or neighborhood, or
favorite pursuit. This would do, rea-
soned, for a starting point So l put
down on small sheet of paper what 1
would say to each, if happened to be
near her. 1t worked like a charm. 1
found myself chatting away the whole
evening, and heard the next day that
everybody was surprised at the trans
formation. I have to this day the little
bit of magic paper, on which after
ward underscored, before sleeping, the
points actually used
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
lust Her Wax

Jack-Well, then, since you have
broken off the engagement, suppose you
give me back the ring.
Julia-Eh-you see, Jack, er-Mr. De
Trow, I've become very much attached
to this ring; it just suits me. So when
Tom Getthere proposed last night told
him didn't want new ring, but that
he could see you and pay you what thiS
cost you.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

ment's glance at the lengthening shad-
ows told her she had fingered too long.
1t was a dark, lonely walk to her
boarding house through the woods
Though not timorous person, she
might have given way to a shudder,
when she noticed her largest pupil
waiting at the door.
What, Aaron, you here"
Eyes. l got sort O. hankering af-
ter the old spot" said the student of
the elements of English grammar, slip
ping her bundle of letters into his ca
pacious pocket. "Fact is, you've done
SO much for me, felt as eff 1 wanted
to ak ye somethin' the very worst way,
If you don't mind"
''Well, what is it? There's no need
to be backward" she said, suspecting
nothing.
81 jes' felt as eff 1 couldn't go home
till u
Before the astounded teacher could
gather strength enough for an emphat-
ic mo" kiss had descended upon her
thin, precise lips,
81 didn't want to ruff1e We over
much" said Aaron, soothingly, ''but I
reckoned you'd done so much for me
and you knewed I thought a heap of
you all along and couldn't help it."
She turned to leave abruptly without
a word of rebuke, but the woods were
too dark and threatening; plainly he
had selected the best time for his over
ture.
81 thought you came to school for
something else," was the meanest thing
she could think of to say.
"Well, 1 ben tryin' to get all I could
get out O. school, and you can't blame
me eff I thought the schoolmarm was
the best thing 1 could get"
81 don't think you can explain your
conduct in that way" she said, but
nevertheless he continued:
No one appreciated better than Miss
Primm his struggle with the rule of
three and the past participle She had
encouraged his efforts and told him to
ask questions when in doubt. The lit
tie green arithmetic had been a sore
trial to him, but she shared his satisfac-
ton completely when he mastered it.
Going to and from meeting he had
been her constant escort; it had never
occurred to her that he had any other
motive than desire to learn. And now
1t appeared that her efforts had been
largely in vain. Her own earnest pupil
had turned out lover, and she did not
know what to do with him. Never hav-
ing played the coquette, she was at a
loss to know what answer to give to
his proposal, but perhaps her silence
was effective enough.
Everybody knows tried hard
enough to fit myself, but jes' allowed
If didn't marry an education some of
the fine points might escape me. OF
course l hain't given up tryin'-I got a
heap mapped out for summer evenin's''
1t was the teacher that answered:
Nothing short of Latin and Greek
will do. assure you, and then if you
are of the same mind"
''Oh. I never expect to change that"
he said with determination, and if she
hadn't taken her letters very quietly
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
odd Duty of Hanoverian Firemen

Odd Duty of Hanoverian Firemen.
In Hanover the fire brigade has sell
dom to extinguish a fire; so it is now
required that the wearers of the regula-
ton helmet shall attend to accidents
and suddness illness in the public
streets. For instance, if an old lady
feels faint under the burdens of her
winter finery, she has but;toSattract the
attention of the nearest policeman. who
in his turn telephones for the fire
brigade. which promptly turns up in
carriage and four.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

Judy and got into a terrible tangle
shopping to-day"
How"
81 owed her 10 cents, and borrowed 5
cents and then so cents"
"Well"
"Then I paid her 80 cents for some
thing she bought"
"Yes?"
"And she paid 40 cents for something
bought, and then we treated each
other to ice-cream soda"
"WellY
'1She says still owe her nickel"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

First Rabbit-My friend Longyear is
trying to think out method by which
we can overcome our natural timidity."
Second Rabbit-Indeed! What sue
cess has he had?
First Rabbit-Not very much. You
see, just when he begins to mediate
he's apt to hear some noise and it gets
him rattled.-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

Are you going to cut any figure in
that new scheme for rapid transit that's
coming up in few weeks?' asked one
of his political associates.
mo, sir!' Indignantly answered the
Alderman from the 'Steenth Ward.
my figure is going to be as high as
anybody else's, b. hv'-Chicago
Tribune.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Physically, Not Financially.

Harold" began the homely Miss
Goldrox, 'of course you know that faith
er has failed"
"Ah, really, Miss Goldrox, I must ask
you To-"
why, you must have noticed how
much he has failed. The doctor says
his death is only"
"As 1 was saying, Miss Goldrox-
Mabel must ask you to let me COM
fort you in your approaching bereaye-
ment. nt."-Catholic Standard and Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

He-Mrs. Cashley has all the money,
yet she and her husband seem to be
perfectly in harmony.
She-They are, too. He's watching
all the time to get a chance to spend her
money, and she's watching him all the
time to keep him from it,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

Customer want to get something
that will preserve wood.
New Clerk-Yes, sir, here's just the
thing you want.
Observation-Disclosures! That's pad
lock.
New Clerk-Yes, sir Put that on your
woodshed door and no thief will ever
get in.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
superstitions as to- RattIesnales

The American Indian believes the
rattlesnake to possess occult virtues.
and quite number of whites sem to
have been converted to the same opin-
ion. The sale of rattlesnake oil for
rhuematism and neuralgia has grown
steadily from the humblest beginning.
and is to-day a small but profitable in
dustry. In some parts of Maine and
New Brunswick neckties made of rattle
snake skins are employed as specific
for bad coughs and colds, and the rattle
is used by believers in voodoo of the
southland as charm against bad luck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Limitations.

First Cavalier-The, King can do no
wrong!
a wearisome life Kings must be, to
be sure!-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
An Excuse.

The Count-Dear me, Baron, your
face! Duelling again, at your age and
so recently married? ...t
The Baron-Ach, no! 1t is my Ameri-
can wife. She makes me eat with a
fork!-Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

"What's all that crowd of women
over there at Bargen's?"
shoppers who read Bargen's tad' "
"But that's an unusually large crowd
for SO early IN the morning"
81 know, but the 'ad' said: Come
early and avoid the dr-CathoIfc
Standard and Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
How She Knew

''That horrid Maud has been gossip
ing about me-"
''Why, how do you knoww
"She kissed me twice when we met
to-day."-FIiegende Blaetter.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

V goMnSr" he cried.

More new gownsv' he cried.
"Why, yes" she answered sweetly.
Gall of mine are last century style."-
Philadelphia North American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Difereu>.

Briggs-I hear you have been oper-
ating in Wall street.
Griggs-A great mistake. I've been
operated upon.-Harper's Bazar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

Miss Swelltop- piano is some
what in need of tuning, but will you not
play for us, Count?
Count Spolatro (absent mindedly)-
WeeZa pleasure Where esSa de han
dle?-Philadelphia Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
The Proper Thing

Mistress-I hope 1 didn't disturb you
kitchen last night?
Cook-Not at all, mum! OF told him
you was my chappyrone!-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

First Burglar-How many rooms wuz
dey in dat house you cracked?
Second Burglar dunno. 1 wuz only
interested in the haul-Baltimore
American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Not Yet Transforrad

Nell-She's blonde, isn't she?
Belle-Not yet, but she's just dying
to be one.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

"Dicket, when you divided those five
caramels with little sister did you give
her three?
mo, ma. l guessed they wouldn't
come out eveu-so ct one fore be
gun to divide."-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Guide-What luck to-day?

Guide-What luck to-day!
Other Guide-Good luck. My man
shot at six different marks and no bull
let come closter ter me than four
inches, by hockey!
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

She-Were you ever in railroad dis
aster?
He-Yes. once kissed the wrong girl
in a tunnel-Chicago Chronicle.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
iNGS HERE AND THERE.

Jokes and Jokeiets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-SayinSs
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Laughab1e-The Weeks Humor.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
Source of Anguish.

Huh! l wouldn't cry s. hard jes'
cause teacher licked me"
81 amt cryin' cause teacher licked
me; I'm cryin' cause amt big enough
to lick him.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
DisilIusione5.

Cholly Smasher-Come, dearest, leave
the stage and intrust your sweet young
life to me.
Miss Makeup-Thank you, my boy; I
have a good home with my married
daughter.-Ohio State Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
A Feeble Imitation. 1

"Bodkins isn't a genuine society
man." "
"Why not?"
"He takes cold every time he wears
his dress suit Chicago Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
How He Descended.

Mr.. Hod O'Hooly-Shure an I'm dis
cindid from some of tn greatest houses
in Ireland
. Widow Bid Brady-Shure We have
on laddher
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
All Off,

Tom-So your engagement with May
is broken. 1 thought she fairly dotted
on you.
Dick-So she did, but her father was
a powerful anti-dote.-St Louis Re-
public.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

Friend-Why do you wear those fear
fully old-fashioned collars?
Winkers "a man of affairs9-Because
when the washerwoman sends them to
anybody else they send them back
New York Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12
A Protective Disclaimer,

well, my man, 1 suppose you will
saw little wood to pay for your din
ner?"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-04-12

Nom. I'm no wood-sawyer, mum;
trimmin' trees-rubber trees, mum, is
my trade"