Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
THE PASSING
OF
UNCLE BILLY.

of your relations?"
mo, he wasn't exactly relation of
mine-not exclusively. He was Uncle
Billy to everybody. Wherever he has
gone, he will be Uncle Billy still.
can remember him ever since | was
knee high to a toad, and in all that
time he never changed a wrinkle of
his old face. He got old 40 years ago,
| think. and then time overlooked him
and death never found it out until now.
The paper mentions the Death Angel
also it is with unfeigned regret that
they chronicle The funeral will be
held in the First Baptist church, which
makes me wonder whether the church
es drew straws for him. for nobody
ever suspected him of any church
affiliations in my time.
He was a pagan-one of the unre-
generate, tobaccochewing rough
talking, big-hearted old reprobate, who
never smiled, but let his eyes smile for
him while the rest of his features were
composed in imperturbable gravity,
and who was liked by everybody-else
he would never have been Uncle Billy
He kept the one general store in the
little village when was boy. He had
a young man named Abner to help
him, and Abner did practically all the
business. Uncle Billy never seemed
to care much how things went, devot-
ing himself chiefly to checkers. Some.
times he would tumble round among
the shelves for his customers and
serve them. and quite as often he
would tell them to go around and see
if they could find what they wanted
themselves. That wouldn't work
people then and well content to be so.
We said / have saw him when we
didn't say I seen him. and we felt an
honest scorn for those fnicky folks
who were more correct in their Ian
guage. We were always square with
Uncle Billy We never took advantage
of his unbusinesslike ways and we ap-
preciated the freedom he allowed us.
"And now the old fellow is dead!
"A fellow named Lish Jewett, | re-
member, played great trick on Uncle
Billy one time. He was the village
cut-up and addicted to didoes anyway.
Uncle Billy aimed to keep most
everything in stock, but he didn't keep
very good run of it, and every once in
a while he would get out of something
Lish found out that he was short on
soda-only had about half pound of
it, and what does he do but go around
and tell everybody to ask for soda.
"The people were all willing to do it.
We had only too little to vary the
mototony of existence in that little
town, and so old and young and rich
and poor flocked into Uncle Billy's'
store and called for soda The old
nan was generally pretty quick catch
hg on. but somehow he didn't tumble
IN this instance. although he was GER
tainly suspicious. When Doc Peter
son came in toward evening and asked
for two pounds of soda Uncle Billy be-
trayed his curiosity.
What be you wantin' sody for.
Doc" he asked.
Why, says Doe what would l
want it for-to grease my boots
What does anybody want with soda?'
Well says Uncle Billy L reck-
oned that mebbe you had diskivered
some sort O. use for it out o. the COM
mon. Everybody in town has gone
sody mad, seems like. I've sent to
Saint Joe for a boatload to meet the
dee-mand. It's mighty curious how
they'll get a run on suthin all at once
here. | don't reckon can o Californy
peaches'd do you jest as well, would
they? I've got in some mighty fine
peaches
"He hadn't ordered a boatload, but
he did lay in big supply of it, and of
course just as soon as he got it the
demand fell off. Uncle Billy couldn't
figure out how that happened For
two or three weeks everybody that
came into the store would be asked
how they were off for soda. and it
seemed that everybody had all they
wanted at home.
AT last JeWett thought he would
put up job on the pastor of the
Methodist church.
"The pastors name was Dolby and
he was good sort of a man, only he
hadn't got his edge worn off, being
young and not long out of the semin-
ary. He was as polite as the proven
bial basket of chips and he talked as
If he were reading out of particularly
correct book. Lish saw him coming
down the road in his buggy and hailed
him and asked him if he wouldn't stop
st Uncle Billy's and get him pound
of soda. He had Just come from the
store himself and knew how the old
man was feeling on the subject.
az will do so with pleasure, Mr..
Jewett,' said the pastor. If there is
any other little commission with
which you desire to intrust me do not