The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-11-03
THE COUNTING HABIT.
Worse Than TWains "Punch Con-
ductOr. Punch with Care"

ductOr, Punch with care"
New York Evening Telegram.
The tall, thin customer with the pink
| beard was muttering to himself and casting
a calculating eye over the stock of the new
cigar store in Herald square.
Fully 5000 boxes of cigars in this estab-
lshment," he murmured. Each box con-
tains on an average forty cigars. which
gives a total of 10000 smokes, which, at the
average price of 10 cents apiece, will bring
the dealer"
Say, what's the matter with you any
way?" demanded the rotund little man who
accompanied the pink-whiskered customer
Bring the dealer $4,000, continued the
! latter. needless of the inquiry Estimating
that the cost of each cigar is cents, the
dealer will reap a profit Of
well. don't that beat -" interrupted
the little man. Are you the sheriff or a
stock-taker?"
Neither returned the pink-whiskered
customer mOurnfully. I'm a Victim-a vic
tim Of the counting habit.
THE counting habit? What in the world
is that?"
It's a regular mania, but I'm not the
only one afflicted with this form of statisti-
cal fever Excuse me, but you have four
buttons on the front of your coat Estimat-
ing that you adjust them in the button
holes twice a day, consuming thirty sec
onds In each adjustment, at the end or a
year of 800 days you will have spent six
time in this employment. Or in twenty
years you will have expended"
The little man grabbed cigar cutter.
Now, just you stop right where you are
Adolphus," he growled, land attend to
this?''
1T came on me the same as love comes
like flowers in the night, returned the
pink-whiskered customer huskily. Il was
troubled with insomnia, you know. Con-
tracted it worrying, first, because couldn't
me- mn rp6if a hnR
didn't seem to meet any one but creditors
Some one told me he had a sure cure. L was
to go TO bed and imagine myself in field
watching a flock of sheep jump over
fence, one at a time. / was TO count until
one hundred animals had passed over the
fence. By that time, so my adviser said, L
would be sleeping as soundly a police
man on night duty in the Tenderloin.
We'll, accepted the advice, but the very
first night l began to keep tab on mutton in
transit l got so interested In the game that
L counted until about 6.791 little lambs had
taken the jump. BY that time, of course, L
was more wide-awake than ever, and so to
entertain myself | got up for pencil and
paper to calculate how many imaginary
pounds of imaginary mutton had leaped the
hurdle. Then l computed the market value
of the meat reduced to roasts and chops.
Next morning when l came down to
breakfast the first thing to greet my eyes
in the newspaper was one of those blither
ing pictorial statistical comparisons. show
ing the relative amounts of chewing gum
and plug tobacco annually consumed. My
interest. alas was instantly centered. My
doom was sealed. All sorts of statistical
comparisons began to fit through my mind.
1 could not get rid of them. Hence / am
you see me tO-day-a unit in that vast
army of idiOtic amateur statisticians."
The little man wiped his eyes.
rs the case hopeless?' he asked
Absolutely. replied the pink-whispered
customer, brokenly. And YOU want to look
out for yourself. This counting habit is in
fectiouS
Now that l come to think of It." said
the little man, refiectively, II know a fell
low with a passion for counting the number
of street cars that pass him on his way
home of nights, another who counts horses.
and still another who counts the number of
houses in every block he passes. Say | be-
lieve the habit is infectious. While you've
been talking, I've been doing some caIcu-
latng on my own hook. | noticed there are
FIVE buttons on your coat, and it occurred
10 me that IL would be interesting to know
how much the additional button must add
70 the profits of the manufacturer if there
are ten thousand tailOrs in New York who
always put five buttons on a coat"
wait! watt" cried the pink-whiskered
customer eagerly. I'll figure it out for you
in a jiffy."
NO. you WON'T" ~etOrted the little man.
determinedly. III work that out for my
self. Besides. I've got something else TO
solve that has just occurred.
And he dashed out of the cigar store
murmuring something about IF each car
on the Broadway Railway carries daily
four fat women whose weight is individu-
ally fOrty-seven pounds above the normal.
how much excess female avOirdupois does
the line transport annually