The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-11-08

"Oh,'" responded the squire, ''his voice
is weak, his doctrines shaky. he isn't as
learned as he should be, but his cricket is
fair eye-opener. We must keep him.
even if we have to pay him double the
salary
Success at Last.-Dr. Brown-"Well,
did you keep the thermometer in the
room at seventy degrees, as l told you?"
Mrs. Murphy-"I did indade, doctor, but
I had hard time to do it. The only
place it would stay at sivinty was for
ninst the chimneypiece. Life.
their affection" says a correspondent of
the Corsicana (Tex.) News. MY broth
er JIM found Il six-foot RATHER near town
caught under bowlder and instead of
using his advantage he sympathetically
released the snake. which thereupon be-
guarded him as Watchfully rs dog One
night ne was awakened, and, missing the
snake in its usual place at the foot Of the
bed. he knew something was wrong. He
got up and lighted match to investigate,
and found burglar in the next room in
the coils of the snake. which had its tail
out Of the window rattling for the police
Commonplace" Some people seem to
think he's genius" 'Oh! he can't be.
He's too methodical." SIS he, really?'
Every. Somebody gave him a silver
matchSafe over month ago and he still
keeps his matches in it,. Philadelphia
Press.
Which note of the scale is the softest?
Dough (do).
Which is the lightest? Ray (re).
Which the fullest and deepest? Sea
ISL.
Which demands the use of the pedal:
Sole tsoD.
Which is in the objective most fire.
quently? Me (m).
Combine two notes and produce moist
earth. Mi re (mire).
Combine two notes and find a parent.
81 re (Sire).
What two notes will dcfray your trav-
cling expenses? Fa re (fare).-Youth'=
Companion.
She Indignantly why, talk about
women! The ordinary man has an enor-
nous capacity for scandal"'
He-"Yes, and the capacity Of the
ordinary woman is 80 small that it's al
ways running over. '-Brooklyn Life.
When Gen. Moreau was in England he
was once the victim of a rather drOl
misunderstanding. He was present at a
concert where piece was sung by tho
choir with the refrain:
10 MOreau, to MOreau."
Having very imperfect knowledge Of
English he fancied it to be a cantata
given in his honor, and thought he dis
tinguShed the words:
ITO Moreau. to Moreau.'
Each time the refrain was repeated he
rose to his feet and gracefully bowed on
all sides, to the great establishment of
the audience, who did not know what to
make of it.
"Doesn't this boat tip great deal?"
asked a timid young woman of the stew
ard 1.-The vessel. ma am" replied the
steward blandly. lis trying to set good
example to the passengers. '-Mancheste
Times.
"a FRIEND" answered little Tommic,
from behind the rocking chair.
"Advancc and give the countersig n,'
hissed It the sentry "or I'll shoot your
An onlinous silence followed this ter
rible threat; then Tommie said plaint
1--WE forgot it,
You can't remember ruthin'!' ex-
claimed Willie in disgust throwing down
per it to yer again. State Jour
nal.
Tommy &c years old Papa. is it prop
err to call a man born in Poland Polc?"
l'apa-"Certainly, my son."
Iommy-Ihen ! suppose man born
in Holland is Hole, isn't he?"-Chicago
News.
Brown doesn't spell correctly"
rs tfearfully, absentminded.'
'Quite true.'
mo business ability
None at ALL.
Writes an unreliable hand.''
True again.
And l don't know what to make of
him"
My dear friend, what on earth can
YOU expect of a great genius ?'-Atlanta
Constitution.
Customer-'The chair is very pretty,
indeed, but l want one with three less
to fit in corner"
Furniture Dealer-"Vell, madam, will
saw you Won leg off."-Boston Journal.
n New Englander and his wife vino set
the pace for orderly housekeeping in a
suburb not thousand miles from New
York went to the kitchen to make the
final preparations for the night.
-ANAtuN, SIlu tuc uuSDduu, dIIer Il
few moments, "hev ye wiped the sink dry
yit?"
Yes: .Josiah," she replied. "Why do
you asks?
"Well,' he answered, II did want a
| drink. but | guess I'll git along till the
morning. New York Commercial Ad-
vertiser.
Farmer Gray-"D you hear the looms
| last night, Miss Citybred?" Miss City
| bred-"Were those looms? Why, thought
it was some college boys giving their col
| lege cry?''-Boston Transcript.
Successful Farmer-"Son George got
some sense durin' that foreign tour, any
how
! Wife-''I hain't seen it,
Il have: You know, ne spent good
while in Lunnon, as he calls it,
| Yes: an I'd like to know what good
it did,
Use your eyes, Miranda. He learned
to turn up his pants when it rains'-
| New York Weekly.
| -:O:-
How 1t Originated -Teacher-ssWhy
did the Pilgrim fathers set apart a day
/ ~