davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

Mazzlni said that he did not believe
that chance existed In history. "A cause
must necessarily underlIe every event.
although for the moment 1t may APP.
pear as the result of apparently acct
dental circumstances. An Alexander. a
Caesar. Napoleon. are not the results
of accident, but the inevitable product
OF the time and nation from which they
spring. 1t was not Caesar who destroy
ed the Roman republic. The republic
was dead before Caesar came. Sulla,
Marius. Cntillne. preceded and fore
Swallowed Caesar, but he. gifted with
keener insight and greater genius,
snatched the power from them and
For there was no doubt that he was
litter TO rule than all the others put to-
gether. At the same time. supposIng he
had appeared 100 years earlier. he
would not have succeeded In destroy
ing the republic. When he came the
life had already gone out of 1t, and
even O9sar's death could not restore
that"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
THE BRITISH TOURIST.
lie Wns Pleasantly surprisch by the
Train H"S's Attentions

lie Wns Pleasantly SurprIscd by the
Train H"s'- Attentions
The British tourist sat IN the ear and
gazed Idly across the bleak prairles.
He felt II slight touch and. looking
around found that Il uniformed youth
had deposited several rnddy oranges
on the sent
lie didn't walt for the money!" re-
marked the tourist, gazing from the
fruit to the rapidly retreatlng traln
boy.
"ue never does" said the fellow pas
senger, with knowing smile,
"Oh. | seel 1t is one of the advan-
tages of your great railroad system.
Free fruit for its patrons"
The Briflsh tourist was Just pepllng
the second Uraans ~ ten ia tutp5 nnnl-
age 90 ca0teaats eeafrttfgtftiy WIS re-
posted on his knee
"By love" he exclaimed enthusiasts
tically, "thls ls delightful When re-
turn home. | shall write paper on the
excellence Of American travel"
In less than ten minutes he was the
recipient of another package. II WAS
little box containing II black cigar and
two matches
mo wonder you Americans Hike to
travel" he said. biting the bitter end
of the cigar. Then he found that
comic publication Ind found lis way
to his seat.
"'fhls IL great" lie rrinhrd 81 AIN
going To tip the boy. Wait n moment"
The train boy halted aud the tourist
held out dime
what Is that for?" asked the boy.
"For yourself"
you owe me a half mister"
"Owe? | Thought yon were giving
these things away
"Not today. The half, please"
But why don't you take the money
when you leave the stuT?"
because we'd never sell It,"
The tourist reluctantly handed over
the coin.
"Golng to write about the excellence
of American trayelT asked the fellow
passenger.
mot L." responded the British tour
list. 81 am going home and tell the ma
ton about the train robberies over
here" Exchange.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
JOHN ADAMS WIFE.
Letter From Abigail Adamn-The
Vice Presidents Function.

PmLAbELrnuN, Dec. q. 1907.
Dear Slr-I received your letter OF
Nov. II by the post of yesterday. with
respect to the notes you write me
about, | wish you to do by them as you
would by your own, as do not want
at present either principle or interest.
| think it would be most for my inter
est to do by them MS you propose. The
method you mention, of adding TO the
clubhouse SO as to give me dairy room,
like very much and would leave 1t to
your Judgment. think It would be
best to have It large enough to take OF
closet that cold victualS. etc, may not
be MKT in with dairy affairs. | should
be glad TO have 1t complicated if posi-.
BILE before | return I'm the spring. but
the winter has set I'm with great vio-
lence here. and the rivers are already
frozen up, SO that | fear we shall not
have chance of getting any cheese
here
Congress are but just getting into
business and the vice president IS not
yet arrived To sit six months togeth-
or, Regulating debates. mOderatlng
warmth and reading papers is laborl-
Gus task and what. fancy the present
v T. does not like so well as rocking in
his pivot chair or amusing himself
with the vibration of n pendulum.
have never vet seen the southern man,
Washington excepted. who could bear
close application for any length OF
time What a ringing would here have
been In all The Jacobinical prayers
from one end of the United States to
the other If somebody else had done sol
We are all we'll The cold weather
has entirely put a stop 10 the yellow fe-
Yer, and no person would now suppose
that such calamity had ever befallcn
the city The synod recommended n
day Of fasting and prayer The differ
enec between this place and N. Eng
land was this; Being recommended by
n body of l'resbeterian ministers, none
of the church clergy would join In It.
Every shop In the city was open as
usual, and very small proportion OF
the Inhabitants attended worship. Bust
ness and pleasure went OH as usual.
Remember me to Mrs. Tufts aud all
other friends From your ever nffcc-
Tomato AmGAtI, ADAMS.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
Cured Her Sore Throat.

A lady who was visiting at the house
OF friend when attacked thus de
scrlbes the unique manner In which
she relieved a serious case OF sore
throat: II awoke one morning with my
throat SO sore and swelled internally
that | could scarcely swallow. | did
not like to trouble any one, yet felt that
/ must do something for IL. ! had read
that the fumes from burning sulphur
were good for dlphtherla, and similar
remedy flashed across my mind. III
match and Inhaled the first sulphurous
smoke from II. OF course 1t made me
cough, but 1t relieved the smarting In
my throat instantly. While dressing |
fried two others and went down to
breakfast hoarse, but the soreness was
gone. "-London Telegraph.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.

The burning of sulphur candle In n
Room infested with pests of any kind
will relieve you OF. them In short time.
Glasses which have been used for
milk should be wished first in cold wa
ter and then In hot soapsuds. This will
make thom clcar'and shining.
Wlltcd or dropping flowers may be
revived by giving them Il quick plunge
into moderately hot water In which q
few drops of ammonia have been
poured.
Never put soda In the water In which
You wash china that has any gliding
on IT, Soda Injuries tho gliding. In
stond use soap, which answers Just as
In washing cut Rlnss only moder-
ntely hot water should be used. on ne
count OF the glass being of varying
thickness, which causes the dishes to
expand uncvenly II subjected TO ex-
cessive changes Of temperature.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
Nv IIia WarIca

The members of the class In rhetoric
were reciting to Professor Dash of the
Blank university one day when the
question of the split infinitiye" came
up, and the professor took occasion to
condemn in strong terms the practice
of using 1t.
but. professor" argued one of the
pupils, "a distinguished authority
manning hlml has just published m
article In one of the magazines in
which he defends the split latnitive. -
Il know It," replied the professor
with II smile. "and In the same article
he defends nearly every other pet
abomination OF the purlsts, but he
doesn't use one OF them. He is the
most glaringly heterodox man In pre-
eept and the most rigid orthodox In
example | ever saw"
An ounce OF do" Is worth pound of
y."-Youths Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

Keats was dead when just little
over his twenty-hfth year Shelley
wrote Queen Nab" at twenty and the
"Prometheus Unbound" and the "Ode
to tho West Wind" at twentysiX. By
ron startled the town with English
Bards and Scotch Reviewers" at TWEEN
ty-one and at twenty four Evoke up
and found himself famous" by the pub
licatlon OF "Childe Harold" Burns
was but twenty-seven when he was the
lion of the season In Edinburgh. Camp
bell published his pleasures of Hope"
at twenty-five. Chatterton was not
eighteen when he finished his life's
work The great Shakespeare himself
was famous when little more than a
youth, and the same Is true Of the
Shakespeare of France, Victor Hugo.
And Goethe, by the bye, was known to
all Europe at twenty-four.
Scott, on the other hand, was more
leisurely. He made no serious effort as
an author TIL he was over thirty, and
he was over forty when "Wayerley''
was given to the world. And Thack-
cray also was verglng on twoscore be
fore "Yanity Fair" established his rep
utation.-Critic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
CURING The BLUES,
Just Try Turning Up the Corners of
Your Mouth.

Your Mouth.
a well known doctor of Minneapolis
who has made speciality of nervous
diseases has found new remedy for
the blues" As no drugs are admin
istcred, he has felt safe In experiment.
Ing with ut least Il half hundred melan-
choly patients and now declares him
self thoroughly satisfied with the good
results Of his treatment. His prescrip-
ton reads something like this: III you
keep the corners of your mouth turned
up. you can't feel blue" The direc-
tons fer taking are smile, keep on
smiling, don't stop smiling" 1t sounds
ridiculous, doesn't 1t? Well, Just TRY
turning up the, corners of your mouth.
regardless of your mood, and see how
1t makes you feel. Then draw the cor
ncrs of your mouth down and note the
effect, and you Will be willing to de-
clare there's something In IT,"
The doctor treats his nervous pa
tlents 10 medicine when necessary.
but when the case Is one of pure mel
ancholy. without bodily III. he simply
recommends the smile cure. He has
the patient remain IN his office and
smile. II II isn't the genuine article, II
must Mt lcnst be an upward curvature
of the corners of the mouth and the
better feelings follow inevitably. The
treatments are followed up regularly,
and the patients all testify 10 their
good effect IT takes considerable per
suasion TO induce some of them to mp
ply the cure, and of course the greater
number of patients are women, for
when II man Is blue he Is bound to be
blue in spite of everything, but n wom-
an Is more easily persuaded to try to
find cure.
The doctor declares that If persons
Will only draw down the corners OF
their mouths aud use sufficient Will
power they can actually shed tears,
On the other hand. If they will persist
entity keep the corners of the mouth
turned up pleasant thoughts Will chase
away the gloomy forebodings. His
discovery grew out OF an experience In
e,sy,assSy1t itt1 "'t1 al Va "a ttNt
GUS and rather morbid temperament,
and when In II Respondent mood ho
would nsls her to "smile n little" until
the saying came to be household
joke. But It brought about good re
suits, and then came the inspiration to
try the same cure on others.
The doctor has not patented his rem
cdy, and 1t Is FREQ to all who choose TO
take advantage Of II. Minneapolis
Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

Taking into consideration the things
Sharp has had to contend against, l
think his success as lawyer has been
remarkable"
"Why. what did he ever have to con
tend aganstf"
Everything. He came Of wealthy
family. He didn't have to work his
way through college. He never studied
by the light OF pine torch. never had
to drive dray. never walked six miles
to school and wasn't compelled 10 Dor
row his books. He had every possible
facility. and yet he has done well from
the very start."-chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

A Barnard college girl tells In the
New York Times OF visiting In n house
hold where grace was said at the table
enthusiastically. Her curiosity got
the better Of her, and she asked the
mistress of the house why they didn't
observe the rite regularly. why"
aald the lady with some surprise. 1--WE
say grace only when we have reason
to be thankful. We never dream OF
giving thanks when we have only
roast beef or beefsteak or some simple
thing like that: but whenever we have
game or something really nice then we
say grace, for It's worth while"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
THAT coy o. ROGERS.

That boy o Rogers. Lord spare me
Prom raisin' seeh brat as hetS-
FL ever mischief was boiled down
Into a}freckled. rtdhaucd clown
And turned loose on two splndlln shsniss
T. bother mankind with his prsnks,
Twas that ar hoy o. Roeersl
TIL want no question that he'd 10
lnside tn pcnitentlary
Aore he was man full grown;
lie could consplre more tricks alone
Than any boy ever seed,
Til biggest scamp. we all agreed,
Was that ar boy y Rogersl
lie turned M missin' went out west,
low we Thought it was tn best
Thing that had a happened yit
When he made up his mind { nit,
Fer us he couldn't 40 too fur,
An we all satd. Good iiddancc," sir,
T. that ar hoy o Rogers!
lie left us twenty years ago:
WIS cut west month or so
Las spring an Jack. my boy, says he,
IN take ye up today c see
Tn guttrnori" WAL. sir. I'm cussed
l knew him when | seed him fist;
Twas that ar boy O. Rogersl
Bismarck Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

The sork Is remarkably plctur
esque bird Its snowy body contrasting
with the bright red bcak and legs and
bnck quill feathers of the wings mike
1t n striking object The flight Is mag
nllieent, bolder and more buoyant than
that Of heron. Like most large birds,
Its powers OF flight show best when
1t Is mt grent height. When we were
on the Bastel rock, In Saxon Switzer-
land, pair passed overhead, flying
southwark. Though high above 'us
we could clearly see the black plnl5l
feathers, and as we watched tn,
powerful beat of the wide spreading
wings we thought of tho angels In
Zechariah's vision who had "wings
Ike the stork. Chambers Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
AN ECCENTRIC DINER.
The Tall story. That Is Told of n IA
ristah Gourmet.

ristah ,Gournet.
Paris is par excellence the, city of
gourmets and crpnks, { and many
story concerning them has added to.the
gayety of the nations. Here Is one
Of the latest. told by IA we'll known
French head waiter: ono of the regu-
lar, customers of u famous Partisan
restaurant used to he short, thin.
SHY and shabblly dressed man whose
namo no ono knew, hut who gave out
that be was butter dealer, for which
reason he was called the butter man at
the restaurant in question.
He ate next TO nothing, but his soup
turecn, filled with n soup specially pro-
pared for him. was always put before
him. He took n few spoonfuls and
had 1t taken away. Next camo
whole tllet of beef, from which hc
cut the tlniCst slice. Then followed
four qualls or large chicken, of which
he ate one mouthtul, together with
two lettuce leaves and one radish. His
dessert was four grapes-never II sin.
gle one morc-and II cup OF coffee. A
bottle of the best claret and another
of the best champagne wero served
with the repast. but he only wette0
his lips with II drop from them and let
them go. lie took two OF these meals
Il day, and the price for each meal was
100 frames.
But this was not all. Every time
the butter man got up from his ex-
traordinary meal he gave 40 francs to
the head walter, who put his food bon
his plate. since the guest did not like
to handle spoons or dishes; 20 francs
10 the waiter, 10 francs to tho woman
cashier and francs TO tho porter.
Thus cach meal came To 200 francs.
The head walter of the restaurant of
ten did slight errands for him, buying
his cigars. etc, and took them TO the
Grand hotel, where the butter man
lived, The little old man would then
open the drawer of II wardrobe filled
with heaps of bank notes OF from 100
francs to Goo francs In value md
with an enormous mass of goldpieces
"Pny yourself" said the owner and
the head waiter did SO, putting the
bills before his patron, who never
delgncd to look at them.
One day the mysterious millionaire
went away and WAS never seen again.
Westminster Gazette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

If the futur" population OF the earth
Is to he estimated On the basis Of race
vitality. then Here IL 10 question but
that the Hebrews viii yet be In the
majority Statistics show that the
average longevity Of thu Hebrew race
Is greater than that OF any other. Their
numbers must therefore be increasing
relatively TO every race, and they GER
tainly are Whether 1t Is due 10 the
sanitary measures enjolned by their re-
ligion or because of native vitality IL
for students Of sociology to decide, but
the fact still remains. Yet numbers
Rre not always to control the destiny
OF the race, and It Is to he supposed
that fraternity and good sense are slow
ly wiping out race distinctions Bos-
ton Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

In some branches of industry CO.
ment which Is proof against the infu-
ence of acids IL absolutely essential.
and such n substance can he prepared
by melting together one part of India
rubber with two parts of linseed oil,
This should be gradually Incorporated
with three parts OF white bolc so az to
form plastic mass. This when heated
softens but very little. Though II does
not easily dry upon the surface, when
once set II is not affected at all by by
drochlorlc acid and but very little by
nitric acid. Its drying and hardening
Is materially promoted by mixing with
nHnium.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

One little plant OF South Africa pro-
teets itself by assuming curious like
ness to white lIchen that covers the
rocks. The plant has sharp pointed
green leaves. These are placed close
together, with their points upward,
and on the tip of each leaf is little
white. scaly sheath. The resemblance
of the smooth surface these present to
the lichen growing on the rocks be-
side which 1t is always found. Is so
great that 1t Is not till you tread on
1t that you discover the deception
Fortnightly Review.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
The Ninhtinpaiea.

The father of Florence Nightingale
was William Shore, who assumed by
letters patent the surname of Nightin-
gale in 1915. The name. together with
the family property, came from old Pc
ter Nightingale. against whom Ark
wright, inventor of the spinning jenny,
brought In 1776 one of his actions for
infringement OF patent rights. Lea
Hurst, the home of the Nightingales In
Derbyshire. is only two miles from
Cromford. where Arkwrlght set up his
mill and the adjacent manor house Of
which he purchased from Nightingale.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
The American hoy.

Even In trying circumstances. even
when serious misfortune overtakes the
youthful American, his aplomb. his
confidence In his own opinion, does not
wholly forsakc Inn. Such one was
found weeping In the street On being
asked the cause OF his tears he sobbed
out In mingled alarm and Indignation:
I'm LOST Mammy's lost me. l told
the darned thing she'd lose me. Muir
heads Land of Contracts"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

The bund IS the name given in al
most all eastern seapOrts TO the street
fronting on the water. This street Is
usually the trade center, and rumors
that are likely TO affect trade or po-
lltical conditions fly thick ana fast
about It. As most of these are un-
founded, It Is the habit In the orient
to call a story whose authenticity Is
doubted "bunder."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
A Humble Apology.

1--WE feel that an apology IS due" ex-
plains the editor Of the Spiketown Biz
zard. ITO the cstlmable young woman
who teaches Mt the sehoolhouse In Dis
trlct No. g. Through the wrctched
blundcr Of worthless tramp printer
whom we trusted with the setting up
Of an Item just as we were closing the
forms for our last weeks edition wo
were made TO say that Miss Ruby Nc
Council. the handsome and popular
teacher In Riggs ncishborhood Is the
proud possessor u an elegant new
black beard We wrote Il black
board -" Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

"How much win you charge for mar
rylng us, squIreT asked the stalwart
bridegroom. painfully conscious OF his
new suit OF ready made clothing.
81 am entitled by law to fee of ST."
replied the justice OF the peace.
perhaps. Alfred" timidly suggested
done somewhere else for $l.0S."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
SenAIIiIe.

Mr.. Backward -Well-er--yes. since
you ask me, was thinking OF consult
Ing Il fortune teller.
Miss Coy-To find out whom you will
marry, eh?
Mr.. Back ward -Why-er-yes. /
Miss Coy-Why not ask me and save
the fortune tellers fee toward the price
Of the ring 2-pearsons
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
Pen \

In 1920 pens began to be made by
elliott, who manufactured them of
steel finely tempered. The pen was
handmade throughout and, though
very inferior to the machine made ar
tlcle OF the present day. was still
great advance upon the iron barreled
pens that had been previously made.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
WHEN SHE COMES HOME.

When she comes home again. thousand ways
fashion, 10 myself. the tenderness
OF my glad welcome. Shall tremble-yes
And teach her. when first In the old days
| touched her girlsh hand nor dared upraise
Mine eyes, such was my faint hearts sweet dis
tress.
Then silence. and the perfume Of her dress;
The room Will sway little, aud a haze
Cloy eYesight soul sight even-ior a space
And tears vest And the ache there In the
throat
To know that | so i'll deserve the place
Her arms make for me. aud the sobbing note
stay with kisses ere the fearful face
Again is hidden in the old embrace.
james Whitcomb Riley
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

The writer of this rode bronchos and
"punchcd!catue on the. ranges OF Mon
tano and swyomingit Twenty years ago
and had amplofopportunltyo toy study
tho habits. OF, rattlesuakes.Y lie knows
howItbeyJwent into their. holes then,
and 1t Is doubtful II, any Improvement
bas since been made. in their method.
They start In head first, and one would
promptly come toitho, conclusion that
they reach the bottom of their holes In
this manner, but Mr..spake is too willy
to keep his head where he cannot have
nm eye on tho rest Of his body; there
fore as soon as. he enters the hole a few
inches helmakcs halfLturn which
brings his head TO the entrance again
aud then permits the .remainder, of .his
length ITO glideIdown. out off sight-a
yerNsimple performance you will see.
Exchange y
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

Robert-Oh. | suppose Tom Is all
right but he Is so close mouthcd. For
Instance, when saw him today ask
ed him, GLOW are your and he gave
me an evaslvc answer.
Richard And what was that?
Robert-lIe said, "IIow are your
Boston Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

The most disastrous times have pro-
duced the greatest minds. The purest
metal comes Of the most ardent fur
mace. the most brilliant lightning from
the darkest clouds
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02

isn't 1t mixed crowdT asked
Nine. de Pompadour Of Nine. de Stael
at the garden party on the Styx.
eyes, indeed" blithely responded
Nine. de Stael. But what could you
,expecti All shades OF society arc here"
Baltimore American
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
Itn Good Point.

Gentleman ito house agenb-The
great disadvantage Is that the house Is
so damp.
House Agent - Disadvantage. sir!
Advantage, call 1t. In case of fire 1t
wouldn't be so likely to burn.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-02
hfaryeIed nj II.

YES" said Mr.. Henry Peck. 81 like to
go to the circus. One sees so many dar-
ing deeds. For instance did you ever see
anything more reckless than the way
in which the rlngmastcr cracks his
whip at the ladies who ride the
horses ~ Baltimore American.