davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Dr. StuDOS, the Bishop or OXFORD, was
once lmpOrtuned by woman who
knowing his experience Of the Holy
Land, kept on asking him what places
she ought to visit, as she was starting
on a trip to Palestine. After answer.
ing typographical questions without
number, he was again asked: But.
really, what place would you advise me
to go to?" "To Jericho, madam said
the bishop, sweetly.
London newsboy, who is accus.
toned to shout Extras every even
ing. recently had very bad cold and
became hoarse. Feeling himself at n
disadvantage, he carried large card In
front Of him. on which he had roughly
written: Hush! Noise is a nuisance
| can't shout my extras, but | have
them all the same!' 1t ibid not take
the boy long to sell out his stock of pa
pers to the grateful passers-by.
In her book on "Some Players Amy
Leslie says that Edwin Booths detesta'
AlOl Vi ANlNHdIu Ill was liam anu
lncurable. One night when In the
most magnificent instant Of Richard, a
super fell in a writhing, squlrming at
tack, which set the country audience
laughing, Booth said, quietly, after the
fall Of the curtain, amid shouts of mis-
guided laughs, What was the matter,
captain?" The trembling captain
owned reluctantly that one of his TWEEN
ty-five-cent men had been seized in a
fit please pay thirty cents next time,
and employ one whose fits may not in
terfere with Richard. Richard is un-
endurable enough without the addition
Of rented fits"
The desire of the inhabitants of Sing
Sing to change the name of the town
recalls a somewhat similar desire OH
the part of the inhabitants of the town
of Rugeley, England to a cOrrespOn
dent of the New York Times. A man
named Palmer had made Rugeley no
torious by an atrOcious murder, and a
deputation of the inhabitants waited on
the home secretary with petition for
leave to change the name. The min
lister hesitated, and asked what name
they proposed to substitute. They re-
piled that they had not decided. What
! do you say" said he, ito taking my
nameY They expressed their unquali
fed delight, and obtained the home sec
retary's consent to this method of OBJ
literating the memory Of the obnoxious
Palmer The home secretary in ques
ton was Lord Palmerston. The town is
still known as Rugeley.
When George Sand, the famous
French novelist, was living at Nahant
near the close of her life, she was fairly
caught on her own grounds by a de
termned British journalist, of her OWL
sex, who opened a formidable note
book and demanded: "At what houl
| do you work, madameW 81 never
work." replied George Sand, gayly
"Ho! But your books? When do yor
make them9" "They make themselves
morning, evening, and night" This
was battling, but the British lady, al
though deficient in grace, did not lacl
grit, and said "What is your own ia
vorite, may ask, among your novels 2
"'Olympia,' returned George Sand
with beaming smile. "'OlympiaY
do not know that one" Perhaps
have not yet written ltr' and the vic
timlzed author beat a hasty retreat
much amused as she looked back anC
saw that her nonsense was being duly
jotted down In the formidable note
book.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

The thought of that steep drop down
to the sea kept recurring to his mind
again and again with a fatal fasclna-
tion put 1t away from his as he would.
Through all his broodings its somber
invitation stood out clear and distinct.
He could see even now the jagged
rocks lurking below, dripping with
spray, looking for their prey.
At last he got up. 1t was no good
staying in. Inaetion was torture to
him in his present frame of mind. He
would try and walk 1t off.
He started off rapidly. without any
definite aim or intention, but uncOn'
sciously his steps turned toward the
coast, and presently he found himself
once more ascending the steep little
path be had traversed that morning.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

"They say" remarked the mother
thoughtfully, referring to the young
man who had called the previous even
ing, that he is Of grasping disposi-
ton"
well, should say he wasw ex-
claimed the small boy.
Willie" cautioned his sister, but 1t
was too late.
You just ought to have seen the way
he grasped Lou when she said she'd
marry him." persisted the youngster.-
Chicago Evening Post
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Archbishon,s Ant Retort.

The archbishop of Dublin recently
performed marriage in the family OF
a wealthy Irish distiller. After the
breakfast the distller thanked the
archbishop effusiyely for his share OF
the proceedings and said to him as he
took his leave. The Lord be with
you" And with thy spirit" is report
ed to have been the rejoinder.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Most Unfashion, bic.

my gracious?' suddenly exclaimed
little Mabel Blugore, who had been
day-dreaming, Il suppose there's ne
help for it,"
what are you thinking of, dearT'
asked her mamma.
"Why, | was just thinking when we
die Wen have to wear ready-made
heavenly robes for few days till we
can be fitted. philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Mistaken Identity.

Attorney-You say you had called to
see Miss Billings and was at the house
at the time the burglary was commit
ted?
Witness-Yes, sir
"Then how did it happen that when
the prisoner dashed into the room and
assaulted you you leaped through the
window and went home, making no
attempt'to defend the lady or give the
alarm?'
Il thought it was her father" Hart
ford Times.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Have | got a bright future" anx-
iously inquired the sweet young gradu-
ate, who was chock-full of ambition.
well, II Isn't as bright as II might
be" answered the antique clairvOyant,
who was taking a long look into it;
"but," she added with glrlish litter,
perhaps the gas is turned down.
Puck
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
RoofhIacks I'm Berlin.

Bootblacks are seldom seen on the
streets of Berlin, owing to the fact
that II is one of the duties of German
servant girls to shine shoes In the
household, and of porters to attend tc
it in hotels. There are bootblacks al
the principal railway depots, but they
find more patrons among women thar
among men.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

"Half dozen of us fellows" said the
struggling young author, "held com
petition in short story writing. My
story won the prize"
Conceded to be the best, eh?"
"Well, We sent them all to the SAINT
magazine, and the editor kept mine
longer than any of the others. ."-Phila
delphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Trying to Follow the Injunction.

"And now" continued his angry
spouse, thoroughly aroused. 81 am go
ing to give you another piece of my
mind what are you doing"
81 am turning the other ear" patient
ly responded Mr.. Meeker.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
A Courteous Offer.

Couldn't be squeezed in there some
how?" asked the pretty girl, as she
vainly sought entrance to the crowded
car
IF you can get in, have one arm
free" exclaimed young man in the
center of the Baltimore American
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Mr.. Lurker-EXcuse me. Miss Snap
per, but l have long sought this oppor-
tunity--
Miss Snapper-Never mind the pre-
amble, Mr.. Lurker. Run along in and
ask pa. He's been expecting this would
come for the last two years.-Tit- Bits.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
The Only rossihilitY.

He-Nothing could ever come between
us, could it, dearf
She--I can't think of single thing,
unless should happen to become en-
gagged to some other man. -Harper's
Bazaar.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Amateur-What does 1t mean In
theatric circles when they say the
"ghost walks?'
Neterm Actor-lt means that the rest
of us don't have to.-Detrolt Free
Press
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

"Ma, when | get big I'm goin' way
off to be pirate"
Are you, BObbyY
"Yes, but don't you be scared; I'll
come home at night to sleep. Chicago
Record
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD eY FUNNY MEN
OF The SPRESS.

Odd, Curious and Laughable Phases
of fHuman Nature Graphically Por-
traytd by Eminent Word Artists of
Oar own Daye--A A Budget of Fun.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

81 am told that Miss Frocks is vege-
tarian," said Mrs FosdicG.
"She is" replied Mrs. Keedick, even
in her millinery"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Husband Cangrlly) - Don't forget
madame, that you are my wife.
Wlfe-Oh, never fear There are
some things one cant forget-Detroi'
Free Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

'Why," asked the young wife, naive
ly, "do you always whistle when you
get my millinery billsT
ITO raise the wind!' replied the man.
Detroit Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Heavy Incldentais.

Shells the writing Of poetry very iu-
cratlve2
He-Well. It would be If one dldn
have to lay out 80 cents or so every
week on paper and stamps!-Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Mamma-Oh, Ethel, you never saw
me behave like that.
Ethel (aged 4)-Well, | haven't know
ed you so very long -Tit-Bits.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Buggins-I hear smitkins Is learning
golf. Does he enjoy III
Muggins-Says It's great. He has al
ready put three caddies In the hospl-
Philadelphia Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Have you called on Penelope since
she got back"
Eyes, but I'll have to go again"
"Why?"
"She got started first in telling her
summer experiences and | didn't get a
word in edgewise about what Id been
doing all summer. Chicago Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

1t is folly TO attempt toplease every
body. 1t matters not in whieh direc.
ton a man faces he must of necessity
turn his back on half the world,
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
For snoons.

Heres a girl" remarked the Query
Editor who writes to know what -
the popular spoonholder OF this sea
SON."
Evidently replied the Snake Ed
tor shes never had any beaux''
"Whyp
Because II she had she'd know that
the most popular one Is the pariof
sofa. philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

He-l am afraid you don't IKE my
dancing,
She-on the contrary, | think II Is
very amusing.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
.HANDLESS BUTHANDY
ARMLESS PEOPLE HAVE ACCOM-.
PLISHEO DIFFICULT FEATS.

Individuals Minus Upper Limbs Have
Become Famous Artists, Dextrous
Penmen, kxp.rt Musicians aud Ar
tianns.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

"You are the first girl ever loved -
said Mr.. Simper to Miss Klttish.
In that case you may cease loving
me- do not care to be practiced on. -
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Proved IIia Point.

Opportunity comes once to every
man."
That's right; and any man is bound
to become famous If he only lives long
enough"
"Oh, don't quite believe that"
you don't? Suppose a man lives to
be l50 years old; wouldn't that make
him famous? philadelphia Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

what does Mildred mean when she
says that she is writing her letter oil
acceptance to Theodore" - Denver
News.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Mr.. Cripps-Can you induce the cook
to have one of her frieAds come and
take dinner with her to-night?9
Mrs. Crlpps-The idea! What for2
Mr. Cripps-l expect to bring Jones
and Smith home with me, and IA like
TO have a nice dinner for them.--Phila-
delphla Record
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Johnny querled the teacher of the
new pupil, do you know your alpha
betT'
"Yes'm," answered Johnny.
"Well. then" continued the teacher,
''what letter comes after Az"
"All the rest Of themw was the tn
umphant reply.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

you're not half so stout as you were,
Billy"
mo; we've moved into a fiat, and
Just had to get thin" indianapolis
Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Fifty miles from the town where G
man dies, the papers, II they mention
his death at all, tell the truth about
him.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08

Women either love or hate; there is
no happy medium In their affections.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Inherent Talent.

Deacon Shanghai-Dat boy certainly
is full oh music, Mrs. Jackson.
Mrs. Jackson-Yes, Deacon; hit
comes nachel toe dat chile; his pap war
run ovah by one o dem street plan
ners.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Beggar-Plase. yer honor, do helm q

poor old body.
Irritable Old Chap-Don't bother me.
woman Can't you see that couldn't
possibly get hand into my pockets?
Beggar-Ah, but perhaps | could, yer
honor
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-08
Plain Evi lence of Art.
Shell came to study ar
They All Came Back.

Artist knew you could paint the
moment | looked into your face.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1901-09-03

Honolulu, Sept. ,, 1901.
NAME or STOCK

9. Brewer h Company. .
us Sachs DIG. Coli.
LIB. Kerr q Co., Ltd.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1901-09-03

Sales--6O Eva, S2475; 40 Eva.
$24.75.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1901-09-03

Provided you have one of the
most effective little devices
for usins mosquito powder
ever invented. That's a
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1901-09-03
LOCAL and GENERAL


The jury in the Circuit Court is call
ed for $3.50 tomorrow morning.
A No. 2 Eddy refrigerator Is for sale
see For Sale column on page 5.
DIR. c. II. Humphris leaves for Ha.
wall in the Kina1 this afternoon.
Comes & McTighe. successors to Ca
mara & Co., liquor dealers, 95 King ST.
A three room cottage on Adams lane
is for rent. See To Let column on page
8.
Pacific Import Co. is selliH ladies'
belts at prices that can't be found any
where.
McInerny's shoe sale continues q
few days longer; ladies day begins to.
morrow.
white Glover Soap, absolutely pure
Twenty-Five cents per box at Holliste,
Drug. Co.
A large furnished room for two gen.
tlemen is for rent. See To Let column
on page s.
Gerardy appears again at the Opera
House Thursday evening. Tickets are
selling rapidly.
A white cashmere cape taken from
Progress halb last Saturday evening.
See Lost column.
The weekly edition of the Evening
Bulletin gives COMPLEMENTARY Of
the news OF the day.
General Breckenridge was shown
through the Capitol building by Gov
ernor Dole yesterday.
+. H. Hayselden Of Lanai is in town
He is here to make arrangements, II
possible. for the sale Of his interests
in Lanai.
Captain T. B, Murray is very III with
a cancer Of the stomach. He will un.
dergo an operation within the next
few days.
c. l.. Wight and vile leave for Eb.n
Lows place on Hawaii this afternuun.
!. hoy win be abcent from the city about
three weeks.
Edmund Lord. inspector OF sewers
under the Board OF Health. has resign
ed his position to accept another with
Vincent & Belser. "
The Advertiser and Republican base
ball teams crossed bats at Makiki on
Saturday. the former winning By a
score OF II to l6.
Francis Murphy will speak in Kau.
makapili chapel Sunday morning and
in the evening will address the Hawai-.
ahao congregation.
Drunken Japanese INDUCED In d
free fight at Eva plantation Saturday
| night. but nothing serious happened
No arrests were made.
A Porto Rican who arrived In thu
Colon was taken to the Queens Hos
pital Saturday afternoon. He is suf
fering from pneumonia.
There was a very well attended TEN
perance meeting In the Y. VI. c. A. hal
Sunday afternoon. Francis Murph!
was the principal speaker.
The steamer Moana from victori
A,'er SPECIFY ''p o! sn aa!s an
nihe'eel hours arrived Sa'uroay al'el
Moo" Sne sa''eu tut Tue .o''"'eS II
Fred j.. Church and wifa returne,
run "au' un euhua'' ihey "aue III
s.eh' Vi ,ia'eana'a anu WI. onu'el
50. many lhe p'e'u'eS VI 'he S'ene''
'"ee"'o''''
Mrs. Hagencamp, wife or the mana
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06
NEW SHORT STORIES
value of Booth. Endorsement.

A writer In London NJ. A. Z. tells the
following IN connection with General
Booth, the Salvation Army leader:
Through causes which II is unnecessa-
~ TO narrate a deserted Methodist
chapel fell into my hands. and General
Booth expressed wish TO purchase the
building as the headquarters of the ar
my. 1t was sold, as the advertise
ments say. at an enormous sacrifice
and when the completion took place his
representative offered In payment long
dated bills, extending over several
years. with interest added. The trans
action was at once completed. When
| handed to my banker for collection
the blood red documents he was
amazed and seemed TO think that was
only fit for lunatic asylum
WhatY he exclaimed. Have you
parted with the freehold for these ex-
traordinary thiagsY
Yes was the reply, and If you had
once seen General Booth you would
take his Endorsement even for the next
world. All those acceptances were
duly met and they have often been
suggestive To me OF the higher drafts
on the future which the general has
abundantly drawn for the present and
eternal benefit of multitudes that can
not be numbered"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06
His Thoughtfulness.

Rev. Leighton Parks. relating many
anecdotes illustrating the unvarying
sympathy and kindness which Phillips
Brooks showed to all humanity, notes
In particular his thoughtfulness and
consideration for the humber classes.
At one time workingman was told
at the hospital that unless he would
consent TO undergo a dangerous surgi-
cal operation his life would probably
pay the forfeit. The evening before the
operation was to be performed the man
and his wife went to see Phillips
Brooks. whom neither of them knew,
and were received by him rs kindly as
they had expected. He talked soothing
ly to them and promised to be with
them the following day ut the hospital.
and he kept his word.
"All that their Imagination had con-
ceived of what he might be to them in
their emergency" says MIR. Parks. twas
more than realized. What mattered 1t
20 him that they were not Of his church,
that they were strangers? They had
come TO him In their hour Of trial, and
he would not fail hem."-Youth's Com
panion.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06
uoRTG IGE SIJE

nEFAULT having been made In the condi-
- tons OF "A certain mortgage whereby the
power therein contained To sell has become on
erative, executed by Orren Nangilder and To.
visa Vangider, his wife, TO Byron Thomas
bearing date the 18th day OF January A. d.,
1891, and recorded in the office OF the Register
OF Deeds for the county OF Ionia, in said state
OF Michigan on the 18th day OF January, A. ID /.
1891 IN Liber ~ OF Mortgages, on page III ;
which said mortgage was duly assigned on the
9TH day OF June. A. D., 1892 by the said Byron
Thomas TO Ed w Peck; which said assignment
was, on the 18th OF June, a d., 1892 recorded in
the said registers offce.in Ltber o. OF mortgages
on page 496; upon which mortgage there Is
claimed to be due at the date OF this notice the
sum OF One Hundred seventy-eight and A.
lOOths Dollars (&11S.43), and no suit or pro
ceeding at law having been instituted To re-
cover the same or any part thereof: Notice is
therefore hereby given that on Monday the
10th day OF June 1901 at 10 O'Clock In the fore
noon, sell at public auction, TO the highest
bidder, sale TO take place at the front door OF
the court house in the city OF Ionia, that being
the place where the circuit court for Ionia
county rs held, the premises described i'm said
mortgage or so much thereof as shall be necesL
sary 10 satisfy the amount due on such mort
gage, with per cent interest, and legal costs
together with an attorneys fee OF ten dollars
provided for by statute, that Is TO say. the fol.
lowing piece or parcel OF land, situate in Ionia
county, in the state of Michigan, viz: The
southwest quarter 20 OF the north west quar-.
OF range seven ~ west In the township OF
Orleans
Dated Greenville, Mich, March llth A. d. 1901.
ED w. PECK, Assignee of said Mortgage.
CHARLES l.. RARDEN.
Attorney for Assignee.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06

WITH BOUND THE DOG WAS ON HIS FEET
on account of Moses popularity Miss
Morris persuaded the firemen to let her
have him during the company's stay in
Cleveland.
But one night as he lay stretched out
on the stage with stage baby's head
on his shoulder and the stage grandsire
In the midst of an impassioned speech
the fire alarm rang.
The engine house bell had given but
one stroke, when, with a bound, the
dog was on his feet and bump went
the child's head on the floor.
For moment Nose stood statuelike,
waiting for the second stroke of the
bell; then. with thrilling, deep throat
ed bay, he dashed off the stage, across
the dressing room and hurled himself
through the window to the stony street
two stories below. At first he lay on
the pavement too badly stunned to
move; then, getting painfully to his
feet, he limped after his beloved engine.
The audience understood the dogs
mad rush so perfectly that roar of APP
plause shook the house.
AS soon as IL quieted sufficiently for a
plaintive little voice to be heard the ba-
by piped UP with. "IIe bumped my
head. he didr' And the play went on
as best it could without n dog.-New
York World.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06
Nose. the Fire Dog.

Nose. the famous dog fireman OF
his laurels.
For years this big. handsome brown
and white dog has been one of the first
to respond to the fire alarm. He always
carries lantern in his mouth to night
fires and is ever ready to obey orders.
And that's how he gave Miss Clara
Morris, the actress, the surprise of her
life
The play Waiting For the Verdict"
was to be acted in the theater across
the street from the engine house where
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06
Doe. n PAY to Buy Cbea,,

A cheap remedy for coughs and colds
is all right, but you want something
that will relieve and cure the more
severe and dangerous results OF throat
and lung troubles. What shall YOU do Z?
Go to warmer and more regular eli.
mate? Yes, II possible; II not possible
for you, then in either case take the
ONLY remedy that has been introduced
in all civilized countries with success
in severe throat and lung troubles.
"Boschee's Gesman Syrup" 1t not
only heals and stimulates the tissues to
destroy disease germ, but allays infiam-
nation, causes easy expectoration
gives a good nights rest, and cures
the patient. Try ONE bottle. Rec.
commended many years by all druggists
in the world. Get Green's Prize Aim
anac. w. /. Benedict, druggist
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-06-06
He Had Quit.

Senator Beverage tells good story
on an Indiana lawyer who was some
thing Of a wag. Leaving his Office one
afternoon. this man stopped in a res
taurant and took drink OF whisky.
on the car he met prohibition friend.
II have quit drinking, and l feel
splendid" remarked the lawyer.
"Quit drinkingY queried the prohi-
btlonist. seeming the liquor on the
,awyers breath. How long SINGER
The lawyer took out his watch and
looked at 1t. Three minutes ago." he
replied.