Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-08-22
NOISY COLLEGE BOY.
AVERAGE SPECIMEN is GOOD
DEAL or A NUISANCE.
Kansas Judge Tells How and Why thu
Hoaths Get Themselves Disliked--
Much Truth In What he eays-cOm-
ments, However, Are Too Drastic.

That the college boy Is often too ex-
uberant all who know him win admit,
but that he is as much OF nuisance
as Judge Frank Doster OF the Kansas
Supreme Court declares some will
question. Among other things" said
.he Judge in recent newspaper artl.
Gle. Il would reform the college s,u.
dent or kin him of. knock on him. [
know we pretend to dote on him and
affect TO believe that he is the hope and
first care OF the State. but It's a lie.
We don't. Nobody but his mother
does. From the time he tirst starts out
TO render 'Gallia est omnls divisa in
parties tres he becomes an insufferable
nuisance. IL at that stage of his ca
reer his own gall could be divided into
5000 parts instead OF three and he left
with only one OF them the relief TO
mankind and to himself would be ines.
Unable. because an intinitesiraal frac-
ton of the whole of what he has would
suffice the needs of any ordinary NOR
| tai.
why do say these hard things
about himg say 1t because he Is
self-important. noisy, conceited. ignor-
ant OF all practical wisdom, parts his
hair in the middle. fiaunts his frater-
nifty badge and school colors in an Of
fensive, challenging sort of way in ev-
erybOdy's face. and prances upstreet
yawping his ear-splltting college yell
TO the fright and disgust of all timid.
sensitive folk within sound. l saw
| him at the Twentieth Kansas recep-
ton. a bigger man than Funston-big-
ger even than Gen. Hughes es-making
more noise and taking up more room
than the whole procession. elbowing ey-
erybody out of the way and drowning
the voices Of the orators and the music
OF the bands with his idiotic Rock
chalk. jay hawk; rah! rah! rahl Wash.
burn. rah, Baker. hurrahr' or whatever
the Internal Siwash glhberish is.
I think | have correctly sized up
| good many people in it. and l give it as
my mature and solemn Judgment, based
upon careful. unprejudiced compari-
son of the many classes of people who
cultivate the habit of making holy
show of themselves, that, with the ex-
cepti0n to be hereafter noticed, the
average college student is the most OBJ
trusive and elephantine ass that fronts
the grieved and frowning face of heav-
en-. was a college student once my
self.
Now. am not objecting to what this
creature learns at school. It's what he
doesn't learn that l am talking about.
He's lazy. He doesn't design himself
for any Of the usual work Of mankind.
Nobody ever heard of college student
who was fitting himself for anything
but one Of the learned professions. so
called-that is, one of the professions
Of learning how to live off the balance
of mankind. He's going to be law
yer. a preacher, doctor. an editor,
an author. an orator. statesman. and
no doubling thought ever ruff1es his
serenely egotistic soul that when once
he vaults into the arena of affairs the
things of this world will be speedily set
to rights.
"But when he finally does land out
the much-abused, long-suffering world
gets its revenge. The world just trips
hin, IN opd role ftS t,fe, soIF rx-.,.. IT..
and mashes the wind out of him and
then picks him up and chucks him into
little Sx10 Office, with cobwebs on
the ceiling and fly specks on the win
dows and two broken-leg chairs on the
floor and a dozen secondhand books
in a wobbly old case with the glass
broken out, and, refusing to pay his
board bill any longer, goes Off and
leaves him to learn wisdom from the
ant.
'Nor have l any spite at the college |
student. l only think he takes up too |
much room and makes too much noise |
and costs too much money ami Is too |
smart in the budding days Of his ca
reer. If he could only be induced to
subside somewhat, to practice little
the modest habit Of self-effacement,
go out and soak his head, turn an X
ray upon his inwards and see himself |
as others see him, we could possibly |
endure him instead Of filling up with
wicked wishes for his assassination.
But he won't"