Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-10-21

IL tukeS Only one generation 10 uu.
make gentleman.-Life.
"Pa, what is pre-glacial man?"
"Why, man before he had to pay ice
bills, of course. ."-Detroit Free Press.
"But the gown doesn't fit insisted
the patron. "That," replied the mo-
diste calmly, sis because you are not
made right. Chicago Post.
Wigg-"Scientists claim that all veg
citation has gender" Wagg-"Of
course. Even bed has gender. Didn't
you ever hear of boycott:"
ntended-"Well, Tommy, has your
mother told you of my good fortune"
Tommy-"No. She only said she was
going to marry you"-Punch.
Those who have lots of money
Are often in trouble about it;
And those who haven't cent
- Are often in trouble without it.
Chicago News.
Mrs. Goodsale-"To what do you at
tribute your appetite for strong drink?
Is it hereditary?" Wragson Tatters--
mo, lady; it's thirst. Philadelphia
Press.
Young man." exclaimed her father,
with emotion, "do you think you can
keep her in golf balls at the rate she
has been accustomed to losing them?"
Puck
The boolSkeeper who had worked
twelve hours a day for thirty years
paused to look at the captivity of a
canary. How patheticr' he ex-
claimed.-Life.
I'm thinking Of doing a little specu-
lating," said the lamb. whats the
best thing to put your money in"
"A safe deposit vault" replied the old
bird.-Philadelphia Press.
1T seems strange to hear you speak
so bitterly of him. You used to say
you admired him for the enemies he
has made" "Yes, but I'm one of
them, ow."-Philadelphia Press.
With all the wealth at his command,
Alas! he had no family tree
He bought dog, then killed it and
Thus swiped the canines pedigree.
Philadelphia Record
Mrs. Black -"Am Lucy Jackson's
husband able to go to wuck yitY"
Mrs. Johnson-"De docktah saw he
am, but he say he am only jes' well
enough to inj'y loafin'." - BROOKLYN
Life.
Van Croke-"But, my dear fellow.
you can't afford to marry a girl like
Ruth Richling." Van Broke-"On the
contrary. old man, l can't afford to
marry any other girl" - Town and
Country.
Il am suffering from brain-fag,
doctah," said Saphelde Fish is good
foh that, isn't it?" "Very good" re-
Piled the doctor. Suppose you begin
with medium-sized whale every
morning with breakfast"
SIS Mickey in condition?" Hes as
fine as silk. All, Mickey's great boy.
He's got something up his sleeve that'u
asstonlsh all thin other buffers"
What is 1t, Mister Doolan? ITS
his ar-r-rm. Plain-Dealer
Visitor-"So you weigh 700 pounds?
Doesn't 1t annoy you to have people
comment on your size?" Fat Man
ON' ho' IL L WISH worried to death
with fool questions maybe I'd weigh
1000 pounds" - Chicago Record Her.
aid.
he speaks of making headway in
the teeth Of the gale" remarked the
editor. False" said the yachting cor
respondent who knew there had NOT
been even ripple. "Ah, then I will
put it the false teeth of the rale,n-
Philadelphia Record.
1T is sad to see this mercenorv
spirit so fiagrantly manifested in mol.
itics," said the earnest citizen. "yes~
answered Senator Sorghum. 81 have
fought against it all l could. but its
no use. l can't get people to vote NV
way without payin' 'em. m."-Washing-
ton Star
I'm ready" shouted the snool,er
Ito meet calmly any emergency tb,t
may arise" At this moment the nlot-
form collapsed. and the speaker exhih.
lted great perturbation. How about
that one?" they asked him later
THAT one did not arise he renIied
mOurnfully,-1it- RitS