The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-05-27
"NEWYORKITIs.v

For many years the pepole of the rest
of the country have known that there was
something the matter with New Workers.
that made them different from the res
idents of any other section. But in prac-
tically all cases the observers have merely
called 1t big-head, and let 1t go at that.
1t appears, however, from the twenty
five years observations of DR.. John II.
Girdner that New Workers are afflicted
with a specific disease, which he calls
Newyorkitis. The doctor, himself a New
Yorker. may suffer somewhat from the
affiiction, since he says it is endemic and
contagious; nevertheless he talks interest
ingly about it, And what he says is not
to be passed lightly over, for he is some
thing of an authority in his line. 1t was
he who discovered the solar plexus, made
famous by the clever Mr. Fitzsmmons at
Carson City a few years back He is
also the inventor of surgical instruments
of merit.
Newyorkitis, according to Dr. Girdner,
is the logical development of the artificial
life led by the residents of Manhattan.
II is a disease 'in which the mind, the
body and the soul have departed from the
normal" 1t is communicable, and spreads
readily by mental and moral contact of
the healthy with the afflicted The mental
symptoms of the Newyorkiuc resemble
somewhat the deluslon of general peresis.
They nearly all partake of the character
of decisions of grandeur" Residents of
other boroughs than Manhattan do not
have the disorder in so acute form; but
the Manhattan sufferer having become
thoroughly inoculated. is practically in
durable. The Doctor has known of one
cure, where the patient was hit on the
head by an elevator, but he does not rec
ommend that remedy
AS to the effect of the disease, DR..
Girdner says of the Newyorktic: HE
imagines that any man who has posses
sion OF one million dollars worth of goods
is gentleman; that he is organized sue
cess and the highest type of manhood
generally II he gives a small percentage
OF his income to organized charity. He
has an overweening respect for good
clothes, and suffers Authorizations with
respect to what he calls society. His
daily paper must be highly spiced. 1t
must contain all OF the latest gossip and
scandal. Divorces, Opponents suicides
and murders must be set forth in detail,
with mammoth headlines. The patient
must have daily record OF the doings OF
millionaires. And II millionaire has a
| arrga L. I,
the Newyorkitic demands of his editor the
most minute particulars of the whole pro-
ceedings. with ample illustrations"
In advanced cases of the disease, the
patient never uses the gray matter
of his BRAIN except for making money or
gratifying some physical appetite. In other
matters he thinks with his reflex nerv-
Gus system'-that is, his opinions and views
on all other questions are simply rehexes
OF the views and opinions OF some other
man or group OF men he happens to be
following at the time"
The moral Newyorkitlc. the Doctor
says. is spiritually obtuse and morally
nearslghted. He is not necessarily vicious
His brotherly love and charity are influ-
enced by greed and selRshness. How
much he loves a brother depends upon the
size OF the brothers bank account. He is
willing 90 accept the doctrine Of the
brotherhood Of man provided he can be
the elder brother and the head Of the
house He is religious to a degree and
pays his clergyman q high salary. in re-
turn for which he demands that the
preacher give him Just the brand OF reli.
gion he likes. The prominent physical
symptoms Of tho disease are rapidity and
nervousness, ana lack OF elaboration IN
ali muscular movements. To these ar,
added nearsightodness on account OF IN,
restricted lice OF vision By reason Of th,