The Butte inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1901-1912, 1901-08-10
How Artie Bell and Frank Holman
Forsook Butte in Search Of Worlds
Championships and How They
Saw Their Mistake-A
Tale With the Moral MS
Omitted.

VmlCCeO.
This is the story Of two wise guys"
or rather two guys" who thought they
were wise. 1t is told in four chapters.
1t could be told in the five kilograms,
which figure in 1t, but for the purpose of
calculation, it is given with a detail or
two that, to say the least. are interest
ing. 1t might be added that the story
is strange in more than one particular
and that 1t mingles a certain amount Of
pathos with goodly portion of bathos.
Chapter I.
Once upo ma time there came to the
land of Butte, one Artie OF the House Of
Bell and one Frank Of the House of Hof-
mann, known throughout the land as
pushers OF silent steeds, on inclines that
were steep. Though they came out of a
strange land they were made welcome
and courtesies and presents were law
ished upon them. even to the extent Of
many prizes, in bicycle races. For Is 1t
not written that the Lord loveth a
cheerful giver?"
Now it came to pass that there were
they paid tribute to the Artie and the
Frank until 10. 1t came to pass as 1t
had been written and the wise guys"
were afflicted with "chestitis'' and a
swelling Of the top piece. They were
prone to ridicule the other silent steed
pushers and doing thus they grew still
further in their own estimations.
Now it further came to pass that
strange star appeared in the heavens
even as it did to the shepherds who went
to Bethlehem. and the Artie and the
Frank seeing this star, were dazzled by
its brilliancy and they straightway set
out to find 1t. The star seemed to speak
and its magic tongue repeated oft and
oft, Worlds championship. Buffalo.
Good thing"
Chapter II.
Seeing was believing with the Artie
and the Frank and straightway they
packed their belongings, even to some
epistles, replete with expressions of love,
which foolish Virgins had penned to the
son of the house of Bell, and even to
some coin Of the realm which the Frank
kept tight hold Of. And they departed
with their eyes turned toward the east
and the brilliant star which illuminated
it. And in the due course of time they
came to the end Of their journey as they
supposed, but the star was not there. It
had appeared so bright when first seen
that it looked easy to reach, but though
it was still bright at the land of Bur-
falo, it was just as far away as 1t was
from Butte. But its tongue had
changed. It no longer spake the words.
"Worlds Championships. Buffalo. Good
thing" Instead it said, "World's
Championships. Buffalo. Nothing doing.
Ha! Ha." And the "Ha, ha" was heard
loud above the roaring Of the turbulent
waters of the falls of Niagara land. And
the Artie and the Frank grew much
wearied and being foot-sore they sat
them down to soliloquize. And after
much musing they hied them to the send
err of messages and spake through MIN
to the King of the saucer people. in the
land of Butte and told unto him their
tale of woe and their desire to return.
Chapter III.
John B. King, manager. saucer track
Butte, Mont: Hoffman, and I will re-
turn to Butte. Is it all right?
"A. T. BELL"
That was what the sender Of messages
spake through the wire for the Artie and
the Frank, and this is what was said
unto him in reply:
"A. T. Bell bicycle rider, Buffalo, N. Y
Would be glad to have you. Come on Al
once. JOHN B. KING"
Chapter ~.
Then there was much weeping anG
wailing and gnashing of teeth in the lan(
| of the Buffalo. for the Artie and thu
| Frank were sick at heart and thei
sheckels were few in number and small
in size and the land of Butte lont
journey by camel. So they thought then
| of a scheme and straightway they pu
it into execution. with the aid of tn
sender of messages and the next morn
ing when the sun was high in the heav
| ems, the King of the saucer people, II