Evening star., 1901-10-26
HIS BOOK GAINS


he had found out THAT she had paid out so
cents for yearly subscription to a fashion
publication. with half a dozen dress pat
terms thrown in, did you ever read The
Vicar of Wakesfield?''
when 1 was az girl, N replied Mrs. job
son.
''Um--when you were a girl said Mr.
Jobson, sull1ily. Now, I suppose you re-
member the part in that book in which
Moses, the son of the vicar, goes to the
fair and is done out of his eyebrows-how
he sells his horse,~or his jackass or some-
thing, for about two million gross of green
spectacles?'
Mrs. Jobson smiled and nodded her head
affirmatively.
"Oh, you remember that. then do you?"
said Mr.. Jobson, sarcastically. Very we'll
You remind me of that particular Moses.
You are the easiest proposition when 1t
comes to buying truck that there's no earth
ly sense in that l ever saw in my life. All
a fakir or con. man or con. woman has got
to do Is to ring the front door bell and re-
quest or demand you to buy something or
other. and you just buy it. 1 believe that
if a barrel organ man I'D walk up the
front steps and tell you that he was going
out of business IN order to return to Sicily,
and ask you to buy his wheezy machine on
the spot, you'd race upstairs, dig around
for the money and buy it at his own figure.
1 expect to come home here any old day
and find that you've bought an assortment
of ring-tailed monkeys. You fall to the
wheedling of itinerant bamboozlers quick
ern any human being on the face of the in
habitable globe, and l know it, YOU"
But" put in Mrs. Jobson, i've been
wanting to take this fashion paper for a
long while, and was, in fact, going to send
my subscription for it, when the man came
to the door, and
Yes" interrupted Mr. Jobson, that's
just it-thats the way all of these buys are
pulled off-'the man came to the door, All
these men that come to the door know
that you're good thing. There's a sort of
freemasonry among these peripatetic ped
dlers of useless things, and they keep each
other informed as to the locations of the
easy marks. 1 wouldn't be surprised if they
made mystical hieroglyphs on the gate
posts to indicate the locations of mistresses
of households who habitually buy any old
thing. Any time any fakir finds himself
with something on mis- hands that he can't
by any possibility saw off on anybody else
he just naturally gravtates to this house
hold and gets rid of 1t at double rates on
you. The house is Uttered and cluttered
up with truck that you've bought in this
way that's of no more use around this es-
tablfshment than so many heaps of shaw
ings. One o these days some smooth hobo
will drift along this way with an assort-
ment of bottle-green flies that he's cap
tured with a net somewhere or other and
he'll tell you that it's rare collection that
lie plckeQ. up dIIer years or awful effort
In the wilds of South America, and you'll get
secret mortgage on our home In order
to buy the lot from him. Nothing that you
could do in the buying line 'ud surprise me
little bit. II some oily young person
were to come along here and purvey unto
you for $50 a one-dollar gun-metal watch
telling you that it had once reposed in the
pantaloons pocket of Charlemagne or Guy
Fawkes, l wouldn't be astonished at ALL"
Whereupon, after the delivery of this
homiy, and with an '.I-have-spoke" man
ner that indicated that, having given his
side of 1t, he didn't care to pursue the sub
ject Mr.. Jobson resumed consideration of
his newspaper.
On Tuesday afternoon last, when Mr..
Jobson arrived home from the office, he
was almost staggering under the heavy
load of a parcel that he had been compelled
to shift from one arm to5the other through
out the homeward trip. Mr.. Jobson wore a
beaming countenance as he deposited the
heavy bundle on the dining room table with
great AR. He removed his overcoat hur-
riedly and hung It on the hall rack, and
then he began to cut the strings binding
the big package while Mrs. Jobson stood
by expectantly.
Il suppose said Mr. Jobson, good-hu
moredly, while he was undoing the package,
that you're filled with curiosity as to what
is in this bundle Ell? Well, it's a bargain.
if ever there was one. Don't remember
eyer ay having seen such a bargain before in
What is it?" inquired Mrs. Jobson.
It's a coid-blooded steal on my part
that's what 1t is,'' answered Mr.. Jobson,
It's Picturesque Turkestan, superbly il
lustrated by some of the most eminent art
lists that ever lived. It's in 112 numbers
and when 1t was first issued the price to
limited number of subscribers was 81 per
number. A poor unfortunate, who didn't
know what a good thing he had drifted into
my office with the lot today. Did 1 jump
at the chance? Well, I guessi And pray,
what dye suppose paid for this s224 worth
of pictorial art?''
Il can't imagine" truthfully replied Mrs
Jobson.
"Thirty-five dollarsr almost bawled Mr.
Jobson. in his elation. "Thirty-five dollars
for collection of pictures that can scarcely
be duplicated anywhere on earth today-the
man himself told me that this was one of
only seven perfect copies of the collection
in existence. Now we've got something to
look at and enjoy during the long winter
evenings when we might otherwise be
yawning in each others faces and wonder
ing If 1t wasn't pretty near bedtime" and
Mr.. Jobson picked up one of the folios and
opened 1t at random. The folio, like all of
the others, contained lot of oId-fashioned
wood cuts that looked like illustrations in
old-fashioned Bibles.
Mrs. Jobson picked UP one of the numbers
of Picturesque Turkestan and looked over
it refiectively. There wasn't a smile nor
the flicker of a smile on her face as she
looked up at Mr.. Jobson and said:
Um-yes; saw about fifty or a hundred
sets of Picturesque Turkestan,' Just like
this one, In front Of one of the second hand
book stalls last week. The sets were
marked 50 per Set"
Mr. Jobson redeemed and his jaw fell. He
gazed reproachfully at Mrs Jobson, and
then his expression of reproach changed
into one of regular Jobsonian wrath
Madame" said he hoarsely, you take
me down to that book stall the first thing in
the morning, before breakfast! You take
me down there, that's ALL I'll bet twenty
million dollars that you never saw any
thing of the sort. You couldn't have seen
anything Of the sort! It's impossible! I'm
going to hold you to this, Mrs. Jobson, and
have you take me down to that book STALL
and If your word In this matter Is not
substantiated then 1 give you fair warn
ing that the end will have arrived and that
this establishment and all 1t contains will
be put under the hammer within twenty
four hours!''
However, after nights rest, Mr.. Job
son didn't insist upon Mrs. Jobson's taking
him down to the book stall. The first thing
he did after donning his clothes was to car
ry the 112 volumes of picturesque Turk
estan' up to the attic. and now he's spend
Ing half of his time looking around for the
oleaginous person who purveyed that Won
derful collection of fifty-year-old wood cuts
to him. Mrs. Jobson feels assured that he
will have little If anything to say on the