The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-05-17
THE elRL PHILosopHER-
- - IewellinrN

(By Jessie Lewelling)
The girl philosopher folded her hands
with satisfied air OF worldly wisdom; a
/ provoking shadow OF mystery lurked in
her eyes. She refused to hear the ques-
! ton Of the iufy-haired girl, and boxed
1 blandly over the head Of the sallow young
/ women in the purple shirt waist Even
1 the marshmaIlows failed 70 awaken her
! enthusiasm.
I am sure you have been doing some
/ thing dreadful" said the sailew girl as
! severely as she could. considering tbs
naarshmallows between her teeth. Your
/ face has an expression Of guilt"
! The girl philosopher looked defiant and
/ wondered why it is that sallow young
/ women and girls who sQuint always come
I 10 judgment.
Il hayeF she finally acknowledged.
J with a stacy accent. "ou compel me to
tell you. The fact is, have been pene-
/ trating mysteries. MOI Not chop
sooy,' nor west side melodrama. Mine
is no 10. % and 50 cent mystery II cost
me five good dollars 10 learn more than
Sherlock Holmes ever dreamed. I have
taken a Turkish bath. and I feel emanci-
pated- 7 want TO vote
With this announcement sch walked
across the room and struck a mannish at
ttude before the mirror. Cnhappily the
expected sensation was not produced. The
sallow girl only looked bored and re-
marked that she failed 10 see anything
uncanny or startling about a Turkish
bath
Have you ever taken one?'' inquired
the girl philosopher.
My habits are such that I have never
felt the necessity OF one" replied the sal
low girl, with hauteur.
thought only very plump women or
aWIuily scraWny ones took them, you
know vouchsafed the fiuffy-haired girl.
Then she observed the one dimension Of
their informant and blushed.
There's where you are wrong" said
the girl philosophical, calmly. 1.-THE fact
is that only regal statues in Greek drap-
cries take Turkish baths. If you re not
regal statue do not attempt il. In the
first place, you must sail into the place
IN your very best street gown, There viii
be figures IN white on the left and on the
right Of you, and they know whether you
have on a tailor-nade or a ready made
and they viii mention the fact before
Mrs. ST. Peter at the deck and If it is a
ready made you'n be left to stay in the
hot room until you are fricasseed, coun-
try style.
st. Peter will give you your key and
take your name. II your name happens
to be Jones or "Flaherty' make UP with
a Won to it, or with q hyphen somewhere.
obviously sizing you up.
You put down dollar in naughty ST.
lence.
'ShampooT
q" Certainly you win say, mentally
noting the 80 cents extra.
Hair dress?'
Yes madam The other 50 cents
comes now. but you must not vince.
Alcohol rub?'
Always an alcohol rub. This means
p cents and tip to the attendant. Mrs.
St. Peter doesn't inquire about the tip,
but you know she is including it, and
she knows you know it.
But the unraveled mysteries are yet to
come. Not until you have proved by ex-
pert swimming in the plungs that you go
to the seaShore every summer and then
have been tucked away on your cot, over
which your feet project into space, do
you receive unsought condolences from all
points of Chicago. Now, If a man has a
secret to conhde he will telephone his
lawyer, lock the two of them in his pri-
vate office and whisper it over his Of
fetal papers. But a woman must needs
choose a Turkish bath, with eggshen par
titions only halfway to the ceiling. She
takes her dearest friend, who occupies the
cot opposite. and they proceed to tell all
they know. What 1 have learned today
girls, would start a society weekly. There
was a compartment on each side Of me
and two women IN each compartment. 1
heard things, which-well, they shall lose
nothing in the telling. It's my turn
newt