davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07

Mr.. Sousa, the march king. wears his
uniform at all times and seasons. He
compcls his men to do likewise. The
fact that he does so leads to expert
enccs that are very laughable to him.
Mr.. SOusa was standing in railway
station on the platform waiting for a
train. \ bclated traveller ran up to him
and shouted. Has the $50 train gomez
Il really don't know" answered the
man with the blue uniform.
well why don't you know shout
ed the irate traveller. What are you
standing here for like a log Of wood?
Aren't you conductor"
yes" said Mr. Sousa. 81 am con
ductOr."
~ nice sort Of conductor you are!"
exclaimed the traveller
"Well. you see" said Mr. Souea. 81
am not the conductor Of a train. | am
the conductor Of a brass band. Sat
urday Evening Post.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
NEW SHORT STORIES
LorIIIard'. Blum Was Called.

Heavy bettor as he was, Pierre LOrll-
lard once met his match when he ran
UP against gray bearded James +. Kel-
ly. who introduced bookmaking into
this country, relates the New York
Times. 1t was nearly generation ago
and at Jerome park. Kelly was laying
2l9 to / against one of Lorillard's
horses I'm a big stake event. The news
went TO Mr. Lorillayd, seated on his
coach on the clubhouse lawn.
"l1l just take a little of the concelt
out Of that sawed off Individual" said
Lorillard to Wright Sanford. Newbold
Morris, John Hunter and a few other
congenial spirits. They started for the
ring together.
"Ill lay $4,000 on my horse at that
price. Kelly" said Mr. LorIllard in his
princely fashion, expecting to see Kelly
wilt and refuse to take the wager.
Certainly. Mr. Lorillard." Then turn
ing to his sheet writer Kelly said,
twenty-five thousand dollars against
$4,000, Pierre Lorillard" Quickly he
turned to the tobacco magnate, with
polite much obliged to you, Mr.. Lorll-
lard; very much obliged Would you or
your friends care to bet another $4,000
at he same odds? Should be delighted
to accommodate you"
"What n nervew was all Mr. LorIl-
lard could say as he turned on his heel
Jimmy Kelly won the bet, for Lorll-
lards horse was beaten.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07

In the Massachusetts campaign Of
1878 John ID. Long was making his
first run for governor against General
Ben Butler, who had captured the
Democratic nomination, and Judge
Josiah g. Abbott. who was the candi.
date Of the old line Democrats. The
late Judge Thompson was making n
speech for Abbott before a big Demo
cratic audience and after praising the
candidate as n jurist and n statesman
asked sarcastically. And now who IL
John L-L-LongT' No one answering,
he proceeded They say he has Dlade
a translation Of Homcr's 'lliadr What
g-g-good is that to us? All Democrats
read Homer In the original" At this
the person TO whom the judge was tell
ing the story laughed. but the judge
continued: "Th-th-thats not the real
Joke at all. The real joke Is that not a
m-m-man In the audience so much as
smiled"
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Cured Of Chronic piarrhoea After
Thirty Years Of Suffering.

Il suffered for thirty years with
diarrhoea and thought was past being
cured, says John $. Holloway, OF French
Camp, Miss 81 had spent so much time
and money and suffered so much that |
had given up all hope ofrecovery. / was
so feeble from the effects of the diarrhoea
that | could do no kind OF labor, could
not even travel, but by accident was
permitted to find a bottle OF Chamberlains
Collie. Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy,
and after taking several bottles | am
entirely cured OF that trouble. ! am so
pleased with the result that am anxious
Rllat 1t be in reach of all who suffer as
have
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
q cLArpED LOUDER THAN EVER

Il CLAPPED LOUDER THAN EVER"
got up an interesting subject there was
a tremendous clapping Of hands. | had
hardly ever heard such applause be-
fore / Strengthened up and set to clap
ping with the rest, and | noticed a
good many people round me fixing
their attention on me, and some OF
them laughed In a friendly and encour-
aging way. l moved about In my chair
and clapped louder than ever.
"'WhO Is itP l asked the gentleman
on my right.
Samuel Clemens, better known in
England as Mark Twain he replied.
Il stopped clapplng. The life seemed
to go out Of me. never was In such a
fix In all my days"
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
chambsrlain's, Cough Remedy .
Great Tavorite.

The soothing and healing properties o.
this remedy, its pleasant taste and
prompt and permanent cures have made
it a great favorite with people every.
where. 1t is especially priced by mothers
of small children for colds, Group and
whooping cough, as it always affords
quick relief, and as it contains no opium
or other harmful drug, it may be given
as confidently to q baby az to an adult.
For sale by NJ. M. Lewis.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07

Mark Twain tells thus the story of
his first great London banquet, at
which. by the way, there were 800 or
900 guests. relates London NJ. A. Z. He
admits that. not having been used TO
that kind OF dinner, he felt somewhat
lonesome: The lord mayor or some
body read out list Of the chief guests
before we began TO eat When he came
TO prominent names. the other guests
would applaud. | found the man next
me rather a good talker. Just as we
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Fair Robbery.

Ida-I have a splinter from a train
that was held up. call It 1.-THE SOU
venlr of a great robbery"
May-I also have a souvenir OF a
great robbery.
Ida-From n train?
May-No, from the Pan-American.
1t is tin on which pie that cost US
80 cents rested.-Chicago News.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
White Man Turned Yellow.

Great CONSERVATION was felt by the
friends of NJ. A. HOgarty, OF Lexington,
Ky, when they saw he was turning vel
low. His skin slowly changed color,
also his eyes, and he suffered terribly.
His malady was Yellow Jaundice. He
was treated by the best doctors, but
without benefit. Then he was advised
to try Electric Bitters, the wonderful
Stomach and Liver remedy, and he writes:
"After taking two bottles was wholly
cured" A trial proves it's matchless
merit for all Stomach, Liver and Kidney
troubles. Only 25c. Sold by NJ. NJ. Lewis
Druggist.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
An Important Period.

A public library in London district
has a custodian who Is devoted to lit
erature, but not to fine white linen.
The other day notice was posted up
on the door of the library as follows:
This library will be closed next
week for cleaning. The Librarian"
In a few hours the period between
cleaning" and "the librarian" had
been deftly expunged.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
POTOMAC RIVER ROUTE.

Beginning Tuesday, March 26. Steamers
northumberland and POTOMAC VIII leave Pier
o. Light street, Baltimore, every Tuesday
Thursday and Saturday, at > p. m. for Alex
Rndria and Washington, calling at all Of the
usual landings. beginning Thursday, March
2S. viii leave tn Street Wharf, Washington,
at 4 D. IN. Thursday. sunday and Tuesday
going aa far as LeonardtOwn on these even
tngs. win leave LeOnardtown at 6 a. m,
kinsale at II IN. Miiler's at p. m, GrasOn's
at q p. m. and BacOn's at y. m, Monday,
Wednesday and Friday. arriving in Balti-
more early the following morning. Freight
~ 'eiyed daily In Baltimore.
HENRY WILLIAMS, Agent, BALTIC,
STEPHENSON X BRO. Agents,
at Washington, ID. C.
WILLIAM NJ. REARDON, Agent,
at Alexandria, Va
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Cheered by II.

"You are sure you can support my
daughter in the style to which she has
been accustOmedY asked the heavy
father.
"Sure, Nike" answered our hero,
with the assurance OF youth.
"Well, I'm glad to hear II. It's more
than / can afford any longer."-Indian-
apOlIs Press.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Uanal.

Mrs. Tiff-Uncle, do you know that
John used to call me peach, and now
we've both concluded that marriage II
a failure2
Hardened Uncle - Well. the peach
crop is always pronounced a failure
Chicago News.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07

Mrs. Sauers-Here is q man who has
buried six wives and now is about to
marry the seventh.
Mr.. Sauers-That's just it. Give
some men rope enough and they will
be sure to hang themselves.-New
York World.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
What Worried Her.

"Does it worry you, DEAR" said the
flying man, ito think how soon ! am
Ioing to leave your
mot how soon," she replied absent
nindedly, but how muchT'-Philadel-
lhla Record.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
sfunid EnouHh.

Nell-Cholly tells me he belongs to
the smart set"
Belief don't doubt II. He's certain
y stupid enough to be ellgible.-Phlla-
1elphia Record.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
A Good Subject.

Jim-Do you think there is anything
IN the saying that fish is brain foodf
Tim-I don't know. But 1t won't do
you any harm to try the experiment.
Boston Courier.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07

Stern Employer-Confound you! Do
you see the great blunder you've nader
Why, you are-well, not far from q
Jackassl
Clerk-Exactly so, sir; not more thar
three feet.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07

Newltt-So you tried the place told
you about, eh? Didn't you find that q
good stream for bass?
Fisher-It must be a splendid one for
them. SO few Of them leave it.-Phila-
delphia Press.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Richmond College
RscsMoHo, Va.

Thorough instruction and high standards.
Close attention paid to health and morals o.
students. Academic degrees Of M. A., b. A.
and B. S. Law degree OF II. l.. Unexceled
facilities for study OF law. Academic tuition.
$40: law tuitiOn $40. Next session begins
Septerber 9th. For catalogue address
an22 l2t PRIEST. +. w, BOATWRtGliT
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Arre.ted DEVELOPMENT.

Charles was punished severely.
Drawing Charles close to her and wip-
ing the tears from his eyes, mamma
said:
"When was your age, my boy,
| never told a falsehood."
How old were you before you be-
gan? asked Charles between sobs.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
LIQUORS, CIGARS, GROCERIES.
Mrs j. E. Monroe

Commerce St. fredericksburg, Va, keeps
the largest and most varied stock Of
Wines and Liquors in the city. She can
furnish you Whiskey at prices from 81 40
TO 81 per gallon. 1t includes Star A.,
Kentucky Rye, Live Oak. Lord Balti-
more, King Lear Jefferson Co. Rye Wig
wan. Indian Hill and many Others.
Wines of every description. Apple
Brandy $3.50 to 81 per gallon. 4 full
line of Cigars and Tobacco, Groceries etc.
MRS. J. +. MONROE,
313 Commerce St, Fredericksburg, Va.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
The Library Bureau.

The division Of photography Of the Ii
brary Of Congress has just brought out
a Union List of Periodicals, Transac-
tons and Allied Publications Currently
Received In the Principal Libraries OF
the District of Columbia" 1t will sur
prise many readers Of this document TO
discover how many libraries of sufii-
cient importance for consideration In
such work exist In this District. The
war department alone has three, the
department library proper, the adju-
tant generals library and the surgeon
generals library; the interior depart
ment four, the patent office library. the
geological survey, the bureau of Ameri-
can ethnolOgy and the bureau Of educa-
tiOn libraries; the treasury department
two, that Of the bureau Of statistics
and that Of the coast and geodetic sur
vey; the department Of agriculture two,
It's own proper and that Of the weather
bureau; the department of state and
the navy department one each. and the
Smithsonian institution one of which
1t takes entire charge and another
which II leaves In the custody Of the
librarian Of congress. Then there is
also Of course the greatest Of all, the
Library of Congress.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
A Double Blow.

"Yes. we had quite a blowout at our
house early this morning."
Peculiar time Cor IT,"
Eyes. The new servant blew out the
gas In the gas stove, and the gas blew
out the side of the kitchen"
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
y. MCCraCkcn, Bro. & o.,
AND RETAIL

Offer Ten Thousand Gallons PURE RYE and
BOURBON WHlSklES. from the following
well known distilleries, Graft Co, Of Ohio :
Boone Comfy Distilling Co, Of Kentucky,
Monticello Distlllery, Oi Maryland, and W. +.
Gray. of Pennsylvania.
Agents for Bergner 4 EngleN Lager Beer.
They also offer Staple and Fanny Groceries,
Agricultural implements, Seeds, Guano. and
Cement.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
DON'T FORGET THAT

When you want an easy shave,
AS good as barber ever gave
Just call on me at my saloon,
At morn and eve or busy noon.
comb and dress the hair with grace,
To suit the countenanco OF yoDr face.
My room IL neat, my towels clean,
Scissors sharp and raz0'skceni
Aud all that art and skill can do,
III you will call I'll do for you
Razors put In order 1T short notice.
w. H. BAYLOR.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
SEPTEMBER :, 1901,
WASHINGTON LETTER
[special Correspondenee.l

Many visitors to Washington have
had their attention directed TO the old
lady of the window" Of a house on the
north side Of + street, east of Thir-
teenth. in what is now the principal
retail shopping district of the city
Ehe has been for a score of years as
much Of a character Of the capital as
a number Of others who from one or
another phase Of cccentricity have gone
into print. For nearly 40 years "the
old lady Of the window" has sat there
watching the tide of time sweep away
one dwelling after another TO make
room for the erection Of business
houses. Her name is Julia Hanson.
and In early life she Is said to have
been one of the noted octoroon beau
ties of Washington. \ few weeks ago
she sold her home, In one of the front
windows of which her wrinkled and
withered features have been framed
day In and out for nearly 40 years.
Title to the property was several times
attacked in the courts, but Aunt Julia
was able to maintain her home. a ro-
mantle story is told Of her early life
and the affection cherished for her by
southern families of prominence. 1t Is
said there was left with her when the
war Of the rebellion began q large
sum Of money, computed to be over
$4,000 by family who went south
and Joined the Confederacy, which she
faithfully guarded until the close of
the war and returned TO the owners.
During the war Aunt julia kept
boarding house and had for guests
number Of army officers. The old lady
is now over % years Of age. She re-
ceived q large sum for her + street
property and In addition to that has
considerable means. The old dwelling
has been torn down, and modern
business house Is now in course of con-
Structlon on the site
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
CATARRH

Catarrh has become such a common
disease that a person entirely free from
this disgusting complaint is seldom met
with. II is customary TO speak of Catarrh
as nothing more serious than bad cold,
u simple inflammation of the nose and
throat 1t IS. in fact, a complicated and
very dangerous disease; if not at first, it
very soon becomes so.
The blood is quickly contaminated by
the foul secretions, and the poison through
the general circulation is carried to all
parts of the system.
Salves, washes and sprays are unsatis
factory and disappointing because they do
not reach the seat Of the trouble S S. S.
does. 1t cleauscs the blood Of the poison
and eliminates from the system all catar-
rhal secrctions, and thus cures thoroughly
and permanently the worst cases.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Mr. 7. a WilIIams. a leadIng dfy-goods mer

chant Of Spartanburg, S
I had a severe case OF
nasal Catarrh. with all
the disagreeable effects
which belong 20 that
disease, and while n
make life painful and
uncomfortable. ! used
medicines prescribed by
leading physicians and
sugge sted by numbers
Of friends, but without
getting any better I
then began TO take S. S.
S. Il rad the desired
effect, and cured me
after taking eighteen
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-09-07
Cupid In IA stamp Collection.

come TO light with the formal an
nouncement of the approaching mar
rage Of Mr.. Solomon Berliner, Ameri-
can consul at Tenerife. Canary islands,
and Miss Jennie Gutenberg Of this city.
Between postage stamps and we'd
ding gowns there may seem to be a
wide gulf, but it was through the me-
dunn of the former that Miss Often
berg won the latter, and in addition to
bringing his pretty American CORE
spondent a promised collection of
stamps Mr.. Berliner brought her a
wedding gown as well.
Mr.. Berliner received in his mail one
day at Tenerife fresh, bright, piquant
letter from a student at Columbian uni
versity. this city. asking that he save
her a collection of postage stamps. The
fetching tone of the letter and its ele-
CANT execution brought about a regular
correspondence between the young dip
lomat and the schoolgirl. Miss Often
berg had written similar letters to at
least a hundred members Of the United
States consular service. AS she receiv-
ed prompt attention from all as well as
pretty souvenirs from all parts of the
world, it seems a bit of fate that Mr..
Berliner should have been the lucky
man to win her hand.
To Beautify the Capital.
Frederick Law Olmstead, d. II.
Burnham and Charles +. McKim, who
were appointed a commission to devise
means for identifying the city Of
Washington, have returned after trip
through the principal European cities
In search Of suggestions for their work.
Mr.. Olmstead said the results had been
satisfactory.
1--WE spent two months in Washing
ton before we started" said he. work
ing out the general plan of improve
ment Our purpose in going abroad
was to study the solution Of similar
problems in Europe.
Broadly speaking, we intend to 90
back to the plan made a century and
a half ago by Charles Peter LEnfant
under the direction of George Wash
lngtOn.
Under this plan the Mall was one
Of the most important features OF
Washington. During later years 1t has
been lost sight of and broken up, so
that few persons really know that
mall exists In the city"
Not Washed For Twenty-six Years.
The four windows on the east side
Of the executive mansion have just
been washed for the first time In 20
years. Seven presidents have Occu-
pied the mansion during that period,
but none of them ever ordered clean
ing Of the windows.
The four windows are observed from
the exterior of the executive mansion,
but the interior Is boarded up, and oil
paintings are hung over them. The
view from the historic east room shows
but one window, the other four not be-
ing apparent
BY Oct. / Washington will be receiv-
ing its water supply from a new reser-
voir. CARL ScHoFIELD.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-06-29
IN THE sUpERLATIvE DEGREE,

The most expensive harbor in the world is that of Cherbonrg, finished by Napoleon at eost of $15,ooO,oOo.
 The best five years' average for bowling belongs to G. Freeman, who ibetween 1867-1s72 bowled 2,336 balls, and took 258 wickets.
 The most costly state funeral which has ever taken place was per haps that of Alexander the Great. A round million was spent in laying Alexander to his rest. The body was placed in a coffin of gold, filled with costly aromatics, and diadem was placed on the head. The funeral car was embellished with ornaments of pure gold and it's weight was so great | that it took s4 mules more than a year to convey it from Babylon to | Syria.
 The people of the United States are l the best fed people in the world, | and consume more per head and year l than the inhabitants of any other country in the world, says the Chica-
 go Tribune. The people of the Unit 1 ed States consume annually 1.61 long l tons of food a head, those of Den
 mark 156, those of Canada Is, of l Australia 13, France 1.23, Belgium | .O9. Sweden 1.O8, Great Britain, LOTT, | Germany 100, Norway o.97, Switzer-
 land O.95, Spain o.s5, Austria o.S2,
 Holland 0.S1, Russia 0.72, Italy O.56, ] Portugal 0.52.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-06-29


 The cabinet has begun to scatter TOT the summer, and it is not probable, un- less something very important makes it necessary, that another full cabinet meeting will beheld before fall. Sec retary Hay went direct from the Iu- neral of his son to his summer resi- dence in New Hampshire, and nothing is known of his plans, but the presldent and his fellow-members of the caplnet have no idea that the stories of his in- tended resignation have any founda- tion; Secretary Long left this week for an indefinite stay with his family in Massachusetts, and Secretary Wn- son is preparing to go to the Adlron- dacks. where he intends to put in q DOT ton of his vacation Investigating for est reserves, which are under the sup CT vision of the department of agricul- ture.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-06-29
HEARD IN PASSING

The -horse-racing bug is expensive. Hon W. c. Whitney has just paid $I5,- 900 for Nasturtium, two-year old colt.
 Surgeon General Wyman, of the United States Marine Hospital service, has issued an official circular endors. ing the theory that disease is spread by insects and animals, and instruct ing medical officers to take proper pre- cautions to protect patients under their charge.
 A Texas negro advises his race to seek wealth, in order to obtain respect Evidently he doesn't read the disre- spectful things said of our men oi wealth by the newspapers.
 Senators Depew and Quay are still believers in a third term, if not for MT Mckinley for some future presi, dent; but neither will ever live to see it.
 The Southern Railway officials ought to know that shooting strikers is very unpopular in this country, and to take steps to see that the incident at Colum bia, S. O., is not repeated.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-06-29
SATURDAY, JUNE %, 1901.

Civilization has it's drawbacks. Ac- cording to an interesting talk of Com mander. lilly, naval governor of the Island of Samoa, which became Amer, ican territory a year or so ago, to the president and cabinet, it has not been in unmixed blessing to the natives of that island. He said that when they went without clothing they were q hardy and healthy race, but that since they adopted clothing they easily con tract colds, and that many cases of consumption, disease previously un' known there, have developed among them. Here's a nut for the scientists to crack. Did nature intend us to go without clothing?