Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-01-26
* Facts and Fancies. -

friend rs it as bad as that" groaned
the composer.-Detroit Free Press.
Prohabilities.-"Will nothing induce
yon TO change Your mind and marry -
ne ;sSked; Another man might" she re
pied. Philadelphia North American
Teacher tsuspiciously) -"Who wrote
your composition. Johnny? Johnny
My father" Tcacher-"What, all of
Tit-Bits.
Jack-"Why so quiet. dear? haven't
heard You open your mouth hardly once
today. Gill-"Oh I'm saving myself
for the whist party tonight. ~ onkers
My man. tell me how you come to
he a tramp" "Oh. bless yer, they got
me t jine one o these don't worry clubs
an | got SO l didn't keer when | lost m
job."-Detroit Free Press.
The idea of erecting a monument
oyer youT pet dog exclaimed Mr..
DO as much for me- Indeed, replied
his young wife, I'D be glad to-
Thought Better of It.-"AIight l in
quire whose umbrella that is you are car
rying?' asked Mr.. Pcrrysville of Mr..
Westpark. You might" Then
won't.'-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
The comedian boarder resumed his seat
and said: The landlady should get her
!
what?' queried the sweet singer. with
true. stage comedy. 'Repeling board
ers!'-Ex.
Mrs. Strongmind-"Th new woman,
sir, does not demand that man shall rise
and give her his seat in a street car"
The Professor-"No but she demands
that he shall rise and give her his seat in
Congress. Brooklyn Life.
Asked and Answered. -McCort-"I can
understand why these ROSTERS that fight
are called game but what is game
hen? F."
McSport- why, don't you know? It's
one that lays bets. '-Philadelphia Press
RECESSIONAL.
He sells his farm in green Vermont,
He'll never live up there again!
| It's vain to say that these things don't
Cut in, or cause US poignant pain,
Well buy his bloody books. you bet
We can't forget! We can't forget
Detroit Journal.
Her Troubles.-"No" said the Society
Reporter, sit is not so hard 10 get de-
Scriptions of the costumes. The hard
part is to write the descriptions so that
each lady will consider herself the best
dressed woman present - Baltimore
American.
Prompt Reply.-"Who was Esau?"
was testing the Biblical knowledge of her
pupils. 'Esau," replied the prompt
scholar, was the man who sold his birth
mark for a pot of massage. "-Pittsbur=
Chronicle Telegraph.
Anxious. - ''I-er-beg your pardon.
Miss Clara, but that was an awfully
strong, punch you made for me last
harm, did it," wen, I don't Know SEG ny !
have been worried TO death ever since
for fear | proposed to you"-Life.
One Well-Paid Bank Clerk.-'I tel
you, bank clerks are not sufficiently re-
Enumerated" exclaimed the broker, quite
forcibly. ''Oh. l don't know" said the
bank president, with a sad smile; "eur
last receiving teller got about $4,000 a
year for six years. Brooklyn Life.
See here!' wrathfully cried the golf
beginner, I'm tired of you laughing at
my game. If l hear any more impudencc
from You III crack you over the head"
All right" said the caddie. But, say,
club ter do it wit ."-Philadelphia Press.
TO MARGUERITE SYLVIA.
By birth of English race,
Castilian in complexion
Parisienne in grace
American by selection
Princess of chic girls now you've seen.
With prospect soon to be their queen.
Judge.
In chapter L.:
She droI ped her eyes"
In chapter IL;
He caught her eye"
But IL none of the chapters are we tod
whether the other eye rolled away under
the bureau or not.-Newark Daily Adj
vertiser.
Mrs; Hocorn-'But, Mandy. I don't
see why you don't want to marry Silas
Beanblossom. He's prosperous enough.
Mandy-"I don't keer, NAV. He kin put
the whole alphabet on his house if he
wants to. but this here literary life never
did appeal to me. baltimore American.
Jeames-"Did you ring, menu" Madam
Yes. If Mrs. De Smythc calls ask
coming back till late, men, '"Of course
I'm not. But Mrs. De Smythe can wait
till she gets tired. It'll do her good. She
WASH I at home TO me last week. and I'll
get even that way."-London Pick-Me-
Up.
Mrs Brownoa'Does my husband ever
then | get square with him.
Mrs. Greene-"You don't mean that
you deceive him?"
Mrs. Brown-"That's just what do.
| deceive him by pretending to believe the
fairy stories he tells me.'-Boston Tran
script.
quite recently says writer in the
Green Bag, "a woman asked for a war
rant against man for using abusive
language in the street. What did he
say asked the magistrate. He went
foreninst the whole world at the corner
of Capel street and called me-yes. he
did, yer wuship--an ould ex-communicat-
ed gasometerp
A clergyman, while catechising his
Sunday school few weeks ago, had oe-
casion to ask the children the meaning
of the word 'epistle.' A little girl in
the youngest class was so certain that
she knew that she did not hesitate a
minute. but with the greatest OF conf
dence answered: IAN cpstle is the wife
Of an apostle. New York Evening Sun.
4 Tapeworm who was in Business be-
came involved.
The Gentleman who owned the premi-
SEES became interested ut once,
Cannot you straighten out this tan
gle?" said he.
II fear l shall have TO sever some Of
my connections" replied the unhappy
worm.
"Wouldn't that jar you?'' remarked his
host.-New York Daily Advertiser.
Development of Our Park Systems.
The most noteworthy dcyciGpmcnt Of