davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
1 PRACTICAL JOKER.
BRIAN G. HUGHES AND THE KIND OF
HUMOR HE AFFECTS.

Brian G. Hughes likes roaring broadsides Of
laughter. II Jokes killed their victims Mr.. Hughes
would have been hanged for murder in the first
degree many years ago
Nr. Hughess last joke was at the Madison Square
Garden one night last week. when ne put up a
Job" on one OF his friends. Mr. Lowney by having
him held up by regulators" IN the mail coach
act at Buffalo Bill's show A friend OF Hughes
turned the joke the perpetrator Hughes's friend
was robbed, sure enough, Of 500 and a diamond
stud. The cowboys spent the money, and Mr..
Hughes footed the bill. Mr.. Hughes didn't plan TO
have the joke quite far that. The cow
boys relieved him OF SIS and his silk hat
full OF real holes.
THREE REQUISITES FOR A JOKE.
II kick when the joke is turned on me-,
said Mr. Hughes afterward. I'm fact enjoyed
that hold up Joke a little better perhaps than any
ever planned. There are three things neces-
sary to a good joke-a who play it well,
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

a man who can take II WELL and an audience that
viii not rub ii in too hard. No. don't know that
] attach any particular philosophy TO Joking
just believed in darned good laugh. and If it's
me, we'll all right; joke IS joke. a good joke
carries lot Of sunshine and health with II. I've
cured lots Of cases Of liver complaint and dyspepsia
by the joke treatment.
II have patience with people who keep a Joke
up man who Will joke around TIL it is
on its uppers and its tongue hangs out ought TO
go to bed with his natural brother the lobster 1
believe in exploiting the brand of jokes that
no sting-the kind that loosens up your joints and
makes you feel If you had lots of money IN the
bank. don't believe in tricks"
PUMPING OUT A RIVER
Speaking of the brand of jokes packed in the
Hughes boxes. the people of Yonkers have one
that they swear by. One spring day three years
ago Mr.. Hughes was standing in front Of his store
building in Broadway, Yonkers. Two huking no
bees" just off Central freight train. came along
and asked for loan of 10 cents
My dear fellows" said Hughes graspng their
hands. come with and I'll buy you all you
can eat and then I'll line your pockets with money
by giving you work right here at this store" To
restaurant went the ''hoboes" and thirty minutes
later announced themselves ready to have their
clothes lined with money. Hughes was ready, too
Boys. said he. briskly my cellars full OF
water. and want you to pump IT I've fixed
these hand pumps right here the sidewalk.
Never mind the people. They're the worst lot Of
'rubbernecks' here in Yonkers that happened.
When they along ask questions. just
you say nothing. but pump. If they laugh. you
pump, and keep on pumping till the waters out
OF the cellar. Keep cool. Don't sweat, but pump"
Now. a tributary the Nepperhan River ran
through Hughess store cellar and under the
sidewalk and the pumps reached down the
river The water pumped by the 'hoboes' ran
into the sewer and back into the Nepperhan, but
the sidewalk tightly tagged the bumpers
didn't know the size Of their Job All through the
long afternoon pumped the tranps. The street be-
came jannmed with spectators. Shopkeepers closed
their stores. took holiday and roared with rner-
rtrnent as they jabbed another in the ribs and
watched the ''hoboes" All but the men az the
pumps knew what was up.
When the sun went down it descended the
wrath OF two weary Willies. armed with coupling
pins. They hunted all night for a ald-headed man
with bright brown eyes. but he was in New-York
telling his friends.
PLANTED A BAG OF BRAsS
Two years ago next August. at o'clock
Saturday morning, Mr.. Hughes and a friend
planted" coin bag alongside pile on the
bathing beach IN front of the Monmouth Hotel.
Asbury Park AT noon. when five thousand people
were on the beach. Mr.. Hughes suddenly came up
spluttering, tightly grasping the bag. He held it
up so that every one read the marking:
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
INSIST ON STREET SIGNS.
EFFORTS OF THE TRIBUNE TO HAVE
THEM SUPPLIED PRAISED.
PRESIDENT GUGGENHEIMER OF THE CITY
COUNCIL HAS PREPARED AN ORDI-
NANCE ON THE SUBJECT

Randolph Guggenheimer, president of the Coun-
Gil, said yesterday that he had good to be-
lieve that the Municipal Assembly would soon pass
an ordinance requiring the owners of all corner
buildings in the city to place street signs on the
walls OF the buildings 1T has become absolutely
necessary TO have and better street signs"
said Mr.. Guggenheimer. The signs that were on
the street lamps have been disappearing until
there many streets and avenues almost
entirely without signs to mark them. Strangers in
the city are unable to find their way without ap-
peang to other persons the streets. and many
residents of the city put to much inconvenience
account of the absence of the street signs. /
had an ordinance prepared and introduced In the
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
YALES PLAY THIS WEEK.
CAST WHICH WILL. PRESENT THE FAIR MAID
OF THE WEST"

New-Haven Conn. April 20 (speciaD.-The plans
for the presentation Of Thomas Heywood's Fair
Mad Of the West" at the Hyperion Theatre Tues
day and Wednesday evenings by the Yale Dramatic
Association completed. The scenery IS
here Id has been set up and the players have
been put through their last touching up. The cast
is arranged.
The part of Bess Bridges. the Fair Maid Of the
West is taken by Louis r. Schenck, %, OF Toledo
Ohio; II. r. Stern. 03. OF NewYork City, will play
Spencer the hero of the play; w. c. Hirschfeld
Art School. of Meriden, Conn. will play Carroll
the drunken bully; A. L. Grifiths. '0l. Of Maiden
Mass, will play Foset. the hero's faithful friend
Malcolm Moore, 02. of Buffalo. will play Captain
Coodack. the captain; J. r. Freeman, 03. of
Warren. Penn, viii play Roughman. the swagger-
ing coward Erastus Corning. 03, of Albany. will
play Glenn. the comic character and faithful
of the heroine and w. D. Howe. '0l, of Pitts
ton, Penn, Will take the King Of Fee. There will
also be over hundred undergraduates, who Will
take the parts Of wine drawers soldiers car tains
sailors merchants, courtiers, etc.
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
COUNCILMAN BRICE'S APPEAL.
FORMALLY SERVED ON THE OPPOSING couNsr..
IT ACTS AS A STAY.

The commitment of Councilman Stewart NJ Brtce
by Justice Scott for contempt of court was filed
In the County Clerks office yesterday morning In
the afternoon James w. Gerard. of Bowe & Sands
counsel for Ir. Brice. served notice of appeal
from Justice Scotts denial of motion for the re-
argument of the case upon L. L. Kellogg coun-
sci for John Peirce the contractor for the Hall OF
Records who has caused Mr. Brice's troubles
This notice will act as n stay of proceedings until
Tomorrow when a formal order of a stay pending
the appeal will probably be granted by Justice
Scott.
While the notice is the only thing between the
councilman and Imprisonment Mr Kellogg said
Yesterday that had the notice not been served
on him he would have taken no action 70 have
Mr. Rrice arrested as long the justice had said
he would grant q stay. Mr.. Kellogg said he would
push the appeal. and thought IL would probably be
argued durins. the second week Of May AT the
latest He had no apprehension as 10 the decision
of the Appellate Division of the supreme Court
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

night and reserves the day trip for the end has
the choice of number of good trains. The En-
pire State Express begins Its eastward 1
p m. and lands its passengers at the Grand Gen.
tral station at 10 p. m Earlier in the day one
may go by the Southwestern Limited at 1:24 a.
the Lake Shore Limited at a. m. the Eastern
Express at 500 a. m. These trains arrive In New,
York at 8, $50 and $50 p. m, respectively and
passengers see the lower Hudson aglow with the
rays of the setting
The trip is delightful at any time. and by
the Pan-American visitor II will be remembered
as one of the most enjoyable features OF the outing
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
NEW ELECTRIC LIGHT SIGNS.
METHOD BY WHICH THEY CAN BE RAPIDLY
REARRANGED.

private exhibition given in this CITY last
week of new system of employing incandescent
electric lamps in the formation of signboards The
scheme was imported from England. Its special
feature is the ease with which the position of the
lamps be altered with reference TO each other
and the quick reconstruction of phrase or design
which is thus made possible.
Each lamp is provided at it's base with pair of
short metallic pins which project in the opposite
direction from the inclosed flament. The pins are
sharp and about an inch apart. and when they are
thrust into a specially prepared background no
matter where. the lamp Immediately CLOVIS A
word having first been rudely sketched on the
matter to fill in the outline with lamps
Tho substance into which the pins are thrust is
readily penetrated like cork. though durable And
the lamps can be adjusted quickly as draughts-
mems thumb tacks. To pull lamp out and in
troduce II in another place is but the work of a
moment; Imbedded in the background, out of sight
is suitable conducting material which is placed In
connection with an ordinary lighting circuit AS
soon as the pins thrust home they come i'm CON
tact with this material. BY the system here de-
scribed II is possible TO shift the lights empoved
In shop windows. as well as those in outdoor ad-
vertisins signs, and to make frequent changes
where purely ornamental effects are desired The
background may be wall. ceiling or Sesk a mar
row straight strip or a festoon
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
IN HONOR OF FATHER TAYLOR.

The parishioners of the Blessed Sacrament
Church, at Broadway and Seventy -frst-st honored
their rector, the Rev. Matthew A. Taylor. the
twenty-hfth anniversary Of his ordination the
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

VILLA SUIT of exceptionally desirable design
and superior finish; Of selected reed, firmly and
finely interviewer, fancy back, roll finish, braid
edges, strong, well made frames, closely woven
seats in best shellac tinish natural colorng hand
some shapes of artistic merit and unusual durabil-
lty; special price for suit complete oS 1OI
five pieces, only
WHITE ENAMELIED CHIFFONIER OF very
neat and pretty style, with five large drawers,
swell front, carved frame and stanohions; French
beveed plate mirror, I,x2o m.; our n ,.I
special price, only S'OO
WHITE ENAMELLED DRESSER Of exception
ally choice stvle, with swell 'front.' three drawers;
carved frame and stanchions; large French
beveled plate mirror, 5oxI9 IN; very ,OI
special, at O'o1
CORNER CHAIR of very dainty design, with
frame in polished mahogany finish; seat
upholstered in figured damask very IN
special at
BUFFET of very elegant design, in polished
golden oak, exquisitely modelled, finely carved
and thoroughly desirable large French bevelled
mirror. I6x,o; display shelves one large, two
smaller drawers and lower shelf; very ~ ,nI
SPECIAL value for -o.OV
with inlad frames in polished mahogany finish
very good make Throughout, excellent springs and
upholstery, covered in figured damask IA Ss
or in velour. as preferred, at lT.Oo
LIBRARY BOOKCASE, three large sections,
in polished golden oak finish, with plate glass
doors four shelves in each compartment good
locks, &c; a very special attrao- % 6;E
tioi' al
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

EMPIRE BEDROOM SUIT of very elegant de-
sign, exqusitey developed in selected curly birch,
finely carved by hand, highly polished and in
minutest detail perfectly made and finished; even
the mirror backs and similar parts veneered and
finished; large French bevel mirrors; cabinet
work, &c, flawless; for the most elegant bed
room furnishing; only, Bed $3.50; - <O
Dresser, S77.39; Chiffoner |I.O>
LIBRARY TABLE, in polished golden oak finish,
French legs, rubbed top 2ox4o in; especially de-
srable for summer cottage or hotel use; IN
very special at our price, at . O'oO
ROCKER, of very desirable design, in polished
golden oak finish fancy carved top, sad = zs
die seat, spindle back, tall arms |./C
DINING ROOM EXTENSION TABLE, in
polished golden oak Gnish-top 4ox54 in.-wlth
three adjustable leaves; TUNED legS-iancy centre
piece-carved; very desirable table, M
and worth twice Our price C.S>
LARGE ARM ROCKER Of very pretty design
in reed, with green tinted ornamentation; elabo-
rately interviewer back, large, broad seat, = N
strong frame; very special value for @'|O
WARDROBE of very popular style, good size,
o #. 10 in. TALL is } It. in. wide; double doors,
carved cornice; complete, we'll finished in , 4.
terror, excellent lock, &c; our price /'TO
CHINA CLOSET, of very dainty, pretty design,
with carved gallery, four large adjustable, grooved
shelves glass door and Sides finely made
and in polished golden oak finish, = IN
special at /./O
Same style, with mirror top of French O on
DeVei piate, olIiy
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21
CATALOGUES.

."GUIDE TO HOUSEKEEPING" comprises
oo4 pages, divided into -four sections.
For Ioc the full set mailed tree to buvers Sec
ton A describes Kitchen Supplies, Stoves &c !;
10, pages; postage, sc. Section describes Lamps,
Tableware, &c; II, pages; postage, sc. Section
c describes Upholstery and Household Furniture;
IA, pages; postage, SC. Section describes
Medium and High Grade Furniture; so4 pages,
hostage IOC.
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

WHITE ENAMELIED BEDROOM OUTFIT |
for summer cottage or hotel use. Pretty, lnexpen.
sve, very desirable comprising White Enanelled
Bed, brass trimmings, extended foot rail, White
Enamelled Dresser, with large mirror, drawers,
carved frame; White Enameled Washstand,
spasher back; White Enameed Chair, White
Enamelled Rocker; complete outfit 10 IN
for 1O'OV
WARDROBE DIVAN, with carved base in
golden oak mahogany finish, highly polished,
excellent springs and upholstery covered IN figured
denim of choice designs and excellent quality;
large wardrobe box, lined, and with patent self
opening adjustment; first class i'll every n ,c
particular and very good value for >.Oo
INDIAN STOOL, finished in coors; oak,
mahogany and white enamel; your choice ~,
for /SC
MAMMOTH ROCKER of very large, strong
frame, with in. posts double bracing, in.
arm rests, in white maple, shellac finish; back
and seat OF double cane, finely inter- 4 en-
woven T'OO
REED ROCKER-A large, strong frame, in ex-
cellent sheac finish; fancy reed back and -.
firmly woven seat; high back well braoed l.ZO
PEERLESS ICELAND FREEZER, best on
market; freezes easily smoothly and quickly
o-qt size 80
4-qt SIZE l.9o
sgt size I.So
o-qt size I.3S
] i-qt size LILY
OPEN SATURDAY EVENINGS UNTIL 10
O'CLOCK.
a
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

COUCHES, of excellent make and finish, finely
upholstered, first class springs, finely finished
frames newest, choicest designs. The best
upholstery work Of the foremost manufacturers,
Velour, 600, 800. Pantasote, 500, - m
500
large assortment of MORRIS CHAIRS,
frames in golden oak or mahogany finish, highly
polished, carved and Of exceptionally good work
manship; tufted velour cushions OF excellent
quality. with stitched edges; special prices; about
Il usual figures elsewhere. 7.l5, 600, 7A1|
Leather CHAIRS and ROCKERS of superior
workmanship and finish large frames; best spring
and upholstery covered in sole leather OF excellent
quality; mahogany finished frames; highly pol
ished and carved Our special prices are doubly
interesting Chair, 2I.OO; Rocker, 2l.SO;
Chair. 1900; Rocker, 1850; Chair, - sO
22.0O; Rocker %%'OV
COMBINATION BOOKCASE, in finest selected
birds-eye maple, finely naid and carved; an ex-
ceptionally elegant design with canopy top, mirror
Of French bevel plate at back OF display shelf,
large book section, latticed brc-a-brac cupboard;
complete desk with drawers at base; hand
some useful piece of fine furniture and especially
desirable for country house library, oIos
special at c%O
BEDROOM SUIT of very pretty pieces in
polished golden oak finish; carved tops; three
large drawers in dresser; also plate mirror 7oxIS
in; splasher back Washstand, with drawer
and cupboards; full size Bed; complete - ~
suit only
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

LIEUT.. SCOTT, 7TH REGIMENT, RESIGNS.
Lieutenant William S. Scott, battalion adjutant OF
the 7th Regiment. has resigned owing to pressure
In Company K In November. 1887.
New-York tribune., 1901-04-21

priesthood. by presenting the parish last Sunday
a parochisl residence, at ccst OF $4,000 The new
rectory ad5oins the church in West Seventy-first-
q; * The boundaries Of the Blessed Sacrament Par
Sixty-sxth-st- and West Seventy -eighth-st
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20

Minneapolis Journal, Feb. 16:--The great to-
6acco trust has been made present OF about
$9OOO,OOO in the Senate'S war tax reduction bill.
When the bill of the senate committee was
made public the shares Of the American To-
bacca company rose eleven points in the New
York stock market, and it is remarked that
certain senators protited by their inside" in
formation.
Beer, the first great item. yielded in the last
fiscal year at 81. Is net per barrel total Of
S72, ,S3l. The house bill reduced the tax to
Thus d. our sapient legislators
tighten the burdens of the poor peo-
pie. Without these reductions the to-
bacco and beer trusts would undoubt-
eddy have been driven into bankruptcy,
and wide and universal ruin would
have settled over our fair lana. Legis.
lators of q superficial mind might
have taken a notion to reduce the
taxes that fall, on the common people,
but the legislators now at the helm
realized that poor mans ruin would
not cause any disturbance in the bust.
ness world, while the bankruptcy of q
great corporation is liable to make
the whole fabric totter on it's narrow
golden base. Great is the wisdom Of
Hanna.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20
BOUQUETS FOR van SAINT.

There is weeping and crashing OF
teeth among the hungry ones WHIP have
been passing their plates up to Gov.
Van SAINT for a slice of official pie.
They accuse him of being completely
under the control of the political tri-
umvirate that manages the machine in
St. Paul-Dar Reese, Eli Warner and
Doc Schiffman. We have clipped
from republican papers some of the
lamentations of the hungry ones and
their friends. Pease of the Anoka
Union gives vent to his oyerwrought
feeling thusly: +5.a PHI ~
There is a rotten political gang in St. Paul
ana there is nothing too rotten for them to
The Hutchinson Independent let's out
the following heartrending vail: -
What 9 wretched mess OF it Gov. Van SAINT
is making In filing out appointive offlces!
Hasn't ne been in politics long enough to know
There are plenty of the latter. s IT, r
It takes an entire column to relieve
the pent up wrath Of the Litchfield
News Ledger. We present . few ex-
tracts: sal.: M 4. 7ss.
4. y Is safe to say that at the present time
there Is an opinion formed that IL will take
pretty strong evidence I'd remove. s.s@ 5S7 s
IS That impression is to the eject that Gov
Van SAINT Is allowing himself to be manipu-
lated BY q clique who have not the best inter
ests q the. entire state and party at heart.
ruin gang, who propose to run things for and
" themselves or turn them over to the enemy.
: u When Gov. Van SAINT was elected
tne nope was heard on every hand that he
5thatd0mtneenng crowd. Assert his rights and
% goYem0r OF Minnesota himself. Had Sc
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20
Speaking Of ExagReration .

Talking about exaggeration, that is
a quality in the Willmar Argus edit
or's makeup that needs guilty alton
lest it will become as entirely extinct
as the "forgotten race", the relics OF
which he was writing about in his last
weeks issue, when he said among 9TH
er things:
"Farmers near New London often
turn up bones, pieces of pottery and
other relics when blowing and many
these relics and are probably quite
unconscious of their real value. -"
"Oiten'', you say?s. Man sake
alive. why farmer around here can't
pillow three rods without turning up
two or three Indian skulls, lot of
bones, stone axes, ancient pottery,
and old tin cans. Why, I know one
farmer here that has fenced in; his
whole pasture with Indian bones and
pottery, and another who has built the
found alton for his barn out of toma-
hawks, arrowheads and axes. The
worst is, as Bro. Wharton says, that
the owners of these collections don't
know their real value. Now here's a
chance for the Argus man to make
bis fortune. We might supply him
with . carload or two Of this kind OF
trucksif he'll only promise to pay the
freight. New Londo Times.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20
Auction Sale.

As Lam getting old and have rented
my farm, I will sell at public auction
on my farm, about three miles south
of Willmar, commencing at II O'Clock
Q. nj /, on Thur sday, March Z, the fol-
loving described property: := 4
3 working horses, i 3-year-old mare,
Z mich cows, 4 2-year-old heifers,
2-year-old steers, 4 calves, / new
Deering mower, 2 drags 4-horse,
! seeder, ! wagon, 4 pair bobsleighs,
q pair of working harness and many
Other articles too numerous to men
tion. '
Terms u sums OF IS. 90 and I'M
der, cash; over that amount time will
be given until N ov. 1901 on ap-
proved notes bearing per cent inter-
est. h u. ELLINGTON.
III g. MoNsoN, Auct iOneer.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20

The undersigned will sell at public
auction at his farm in section IS,
to Wn of tennessee, four miles south
west of Atwater, on Tuesday, March
5, 1901, beginning at 10 O'Clock in the
forenoon, the following described
property:
One mare 9 years old, one horse
years old. one horse II years old =,
eight mich COWS, extra good, one q
year-old heller, three yearling heifers,
three yearling steers, ten calves, one
Mccormick binder, one Deering now
err, two lumber wagons, one two-seat-
ed carriage, one single buggy, two
walking plows, one drag, two set Of
work harness, one hay rake, one corn
Guilty ator, one pair bobsleighs, some
oats and corn, some household furni-
ture, and other articles too numerous
to mention.
Terms: Sums under $500 cash. On
larger sums time will be given TIL
Nov. l, 1901, on approved notes at {
per cent interest. S. A. MOODIN.
J. S. Anderson, Auctioreer. H.;
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20
Public Auction.

AS we have dissolved our farming
interests, we will sell at public auc,
ton on the L. M. Westerberg farm in
section 2, town of Roseland, common
cling at IL O'Clock a. m, on Saturday,
Feb. %, 1901, the following described
property: D..
5 working horses, yearling colt,
7 mich COWS, l two-year-old Short
horn bull, yearling steers, hogs,
2 binders lone used only one season J,
l 20-shoe McChirry press drill fused
two seasons). l 14-shoe Van Brunt
press drill, Flying Dutchman gang
pillow, 2 walking plows, l breaking
row, l l03-foot Deering hay rake fused
one season., 2 lumber wagons in good
shape, 3 sets of harness, 2 hay racks
top buggy, cutter, pair of bob:
sleighs, l No. 8 cook stove, and many
other articles too numerous to men
ton.
Terms: All sums of $500 ani
under, cash; over that amount, time
will be given until Nov. ], 1901, OF
| approved notes bearing 6 per cen
interest.
A. WESTERBERG.
p. A. JOHNSON.
J. G. MONSON, Auctioneer.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-02-20

The undersigned will sell at public
auction at his farm in section Is, east
of Dog Lake, town of East Lake Lii
liam, on Thursday, March IA. 1901, at
10 o'clock a. NJ, the following de-
scribed personal property:
One mare 8 years old, 1 mare
years old. l mare years old. 2 mare
colts coming 3 years old, 4 mich COWS,
one 2-year old steer, 3 yearlings, set
of work harness new. l wagon almost
new. hay rake, 1 corn cultivator, I
walking pillow, l drag, l hay rack, all
household furniture, and other arti-
cles too numerous to mention.
Terms:-Spms under SIS 90 cash. On
larger sums time will be given till Oct.
l, 1901, on approved notes at per
cent interest.
HALVOR FREDSVOLD.
J. S. Anderson, Auctioneer. RI 4