New-York tribune., 1901-05-31
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Rev. DR.. John Watson clan Maclaren'D and
others. according to The Congregationalist, re-
Gently dned with w s. Calne, NJ. p. Mr.. Game
offered TO give $50 10 hospital fund through the
man who would make the best pun on his name
within five minutes. Brains cogitated for while.
ana then. just the time about TO expire and
Mr. Caine thought he 70 escape. John Watson
said Don't be in such hurry, Game III this
story is true that ESQ was about the easiest money
that DR. Watson ever earned.
7 am satisfied naw that have made s,.3 proifi55 osi5
noting the symptoms of his patient. -
"A blunder. doctor? Don't seem to De improV-
ing fast enough?"
"You are improving too fast. Your malady had
see what it would develop into If allowed to run.
put stqpdy T gave y you % ror
Tribune.
1T has seemed to us" says THE Christian In
telgencer," in speaking of the abolition Of the
canteen in the army that the pictures OF the
effects of this policy presented In the daily papers
have been overdrawn. yet there is doubtless
foundation of fact for them. 1t is Impossible 70
make prisoners Of our soldiers and. remembering
the classes from which they drawn il is too
much to expect that they will not to consid
erable extent abuse their liberty. The fondness
for drink Is acquired by most before they enter
the army and those who maintain that 1t is better
to supply means for It's moderate qualification
der military oversight than leave the soldier
to the solicitation of the unregulated saloon nave
much support their contention. On this mat
ter, as we'll as many others, the path Of wisdom
lies between the extremes. The idea system Is
not always the possible one"
Extreme Reluctance-:Young man." the rising
statesman said 20 the reporter. newspaper no.
toriety is exceedingly distastefuI 10 me but since
you have asked me 10 give YOU some Of the par
ticulars Of the leading events in my life I viii
Here he took typewrtten sheet from a drawer
in MS desk and handed il to the reporter.
my portrait and although | dislike anything that
savors of undue publicity. / can do no lass than
comply with your wish"
Here ne took a photograph from large pile in
when this appears in print he said ''voU may
send me two hundred and nifty copies Of the pa
per."-(Chicago Tribune.
woman member of the Londonderry 0reland)
Board of Guardians the other day offered as a
present to the workhouse infrmary engraving
of Guido's "Ecce Homo" in memory of Queen
Victoria, in whose room copy of the picture hung
at the time of her death. The ultra-Protestants
of the board at objected to the acceptance Of
the gift on the ground that If it was not actually
Popsh it was "the thin end of the wedge" Let
this picture in exclaimed one member. "and
next thing the paupers will be asking for the
Popish mass This prospect was terrifying
that the picture declined by a vote Of IS TO Z
I've noticed" said the observant girl. that the
big men are the most demonstrative in their love-
Perhaps" remarked the wise girl; but after
ALL girt should never Judge lover by his sighs''
-(Phiadephia Record.
THE Cleveland Plain Dealer the other day
hired new office boy. And the very first day
he leaped into prominence as 'fullfedged news
paper man. An afternoon paper recently offered 50
cents apiece for jokes. THE Plain Dealers new
boy wrote out two took them to the office of the
afternoon paper, received a crisp 81 bill. and.
coming back with impIsh grin on his face told
OF his success.
But where did you get the jokes?' asked the
city editor
"oh. heard 'en at the Cleveland Theatre week
before last" said the youth.
C)ccas sionally q correspondent will wonder why
his contributions do not appear In print II
printed they written the readers will wonder
whv they do appear. The Rumford Falls Times.
10 illustrate. gives the following sample, which
can be duplicated any week in almost any Maine
newspaper office: To the Editor of Thimes Being
7 did not see any notes in your paper from this
place 1 thought l would drop you few parties
are the order of the day the Misses Wedges had
very pleasant time at Whynots Cafe Fac tho
parties being Richard Sargent singing sangs sola
Mike McCartey played on the organ Sam
Gyege sang bace and Mr.. Patterson had
very bad cold and could not attend TO the singing
at all and sorry TO say Miss Mamie Wedge took
sick before the party was over but guess she
will recover -"-(Kennebec (Ne) Journal