The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-08-11
Fun OF The WoRLD.


know you VIII have the iock5aw-
<
'CorSin't tn statoots." began Judse
Wayo-ek. IS he stood up. TN hev civ
ten yeres Z III pernyte1chury-
But exclaimed the lawyer for the de-
icnaa1L jumping 10 MS feet. .-there arc
eS1enuatng circumstances
They is2 cried the Judge IN alarm.
II ! thought thet burned Il I wouidn [
Civ IN fifteen years.
An old Scotch farmer being elected a
member Of the local school board. Wis
tied the school and tested ne i7teiiir,rce
o the class by his questions. The first in
Quiry was.
Moo boys. can any O. you tell me what
naething is?'
After moments silence a small boy in
back seat arose and replied.
us what We gie me t'hithec day for
haucln' yer horse.
"a Es
In one Of his conversations with at1rus-
tuS Hare CHIEF Justice Norris said h0
was sitting on the bench in Ireland ana
AFTER q case had been tried re said % The
]uTyme Nov, 10 consider this matter
you VIII retire TO your accustomed place. -
ana TWO or them Went into the dock An
other time he said 20 a cuiprit: Il can
produce nVe witnesses who saw YOU steal
that COW Yes said the prisoner. %
but 1 can produce five hundred no did
not"
sE &c
Hans Jensen. g Dane. recently anna -rtf
before the magistrate Of the district court
held IN Garnett. Kansas 90 be natural
lied. At the close OF the usual examna-
ton the judge asked the applicant. Hans
d 20 ISL.
tions of this country? Does the govern
nent suit YOU entirely 'Yas. vas an
swered Hans. Only i would like TO see
some more rain You may be- sworn. q"
said the judge: I perceive you have al
ready the Kansas idea"
Ii is said that one evening when DR.
Friend was summoned from rather TOO
festive board 10 the bedside OF a lady na-
tient. he felt her pulse bat could not
count its beats. Drunk by Jove,' be
solloquized, and pulled himself together
suihclently 20 order some harm less mix
ture. HIS delight may be imagined when.
the next morning, instead Of an indig-
nant dismissal from further attendance.
he received from his patient a confession
that ne had diagnosed her complaint
quite correctly.
< Ez
During one Of Adeliua PATHS last tours
in the United States. the following prelim-
mary notice was published by a certain
western editor: Madame Patti NIcoH.
the eminent vocalist and farewellist. viii
come 70 us positively for the last time
next year. All those who expect to die
before the year after next VIII do well %
hear this human nightingale on this trip.
for Patti never SAYS good bye twice i'm
M ma 10 fff 10 % D.
ing her strike her high two-thousand
dollar note is TO seek the hereafter in
woeful ignorance of the heights % which
a woman with good lungs. a castle in
Wales. and who only uses one kind OF
soap, can soar when she tries
XIX Es
The late Fr. Petit was one Of the best
known priests f. the Milwaukee diocese
IL may well be said that he was a repre-
sentative Of the pioneer priest
on one occasion he was preaching IN St
Raphaeis church Of Madison. OF which
he was pastor. it was a fine summer day
and the windows We're wide open. In ar
ldjoining lot a number Of boys were play
ms o game of baseball
DR.. Petrit's sermon was on heaven and
he means Of reaching there lie had
Just come to the end or passage. How
hen, shall We reach heaven DE asked.
md paused in a solemn manner Just
hen came floating through the church
window, in a high keyed voice: slide
ike the devil, si'det"
Ez
The prosecuting attorney in a lawsuit
rad waXed especially diEuart AT The de-
endant, whom he characterized as an
abandoned. baueful. cynical daholic
.xecr3ble. feloni0us greedy hateful ir-
'esponslble jaundiced. zHavish. lazy
ueddIesome. noxious. outrageous and
,rohigate roWdy
THE learned counsel on the other side.
aid the attorney Tor the defense. wnen he
rose 10 reply. should have put mis- ado
ectives in a hat and shaken them up
title before using them. You must have
loticed. gentlemen Of the jury. that they
we're in regular alphabetical order. This
hOws that be selected them from die
iouarv. beginning with a.. lie stopped
t y, but in his manner Of reproducing
hem he has given us the cue. as % how
BE- got them
This turned the laugh against the other
awyer and he has lost the case.
x 81
Hickey IS known TO be a man quick
With his questions. ready with his an-
wers. witty as are most men in whose {
ems low Erlls blood. ana sometimes /
Z "a jollier &C times III "a Joke happens F.
% be OF him. he's just as happy as II 30 I
we're on the other man.
During one ~ his tours through kan (
as with q company which 40 fhe time I
-as not playing remarkable business /
e ran across George Clark in one of /
ne towns.
~Heuo. John, Glad 20 see SOU. VINO I
ave YOU got2' was Clark aaiet7tiou.
VI 3 g e..
,ost natural 20 two ~ the same pro-
sslon meeting was
We'll. how are they comins-h how
-O-so. sq>'' answered Hickey rot pare
culariv fGblart. I've been cut SIX
ecks and an I've sent my wife 90 far
John p. Van Every. Tor years vice
resident n the Western Union Teie-
-aph company. has "a favorte storg %
BE- early history q the company. a
rchcgter clothing re-ufarturfr receive
{ contract Tor making the uniforms
- the telegraph operators along fhf
BE- ~ the sew York central railroad
order ~ measure the operators f1r IRE
-if0rus De- cert teloErana alorE enc
le asking thrr1 ~ meet ffr Ca fAe eta-
la platforms Fe n4rf tE.r telegram
the operator 60 clyde r..
Aeet me or 1urai m fhe 1 RI
ain. wear r7tri1E s-t ahl-t ana troas-
AZ the appointed trre he reached the
SIDE station and Inquired ger fhe caf-l-
BE saw FoarE lady la9kl-9
ily aho-t her ehe SAID Sri answer 81
Il inquiry
% era ire telegraph operator ar1 ara
re- Fri respe-rf fa gr-r saes ff
le-iire ~ comply win gr .1err-
ms as 81 apparel
'r ire early Irsa cave wen 18Th
fres ard affr~nrFa trreT fh