The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-01-25

( MY hICRODIAN Dinner
How q Man Thought He Could Do
Woman's Work and Was
Disappointed.
BY CATHERINE LOUISE SMITH.

@-@-@-@-@-@&@-1-@-@-@-@-
81 wonder. Thaddeus," said my wife
doubtfully, giving me a searchlight
look, 'tf you could get your own dinner
tonight. want to 60 to a meeting of
the Suffrage club, and the maid Is 60
ing out"
Now, 1t has always seemed to me
that the more a man asserts his indie
pendence the better. 1 felt pretty
doubtful about that dinner, but 1
wasn't going to let Maria know l had
any qualms. l rememh ed, too, had
managed well at bachelor housekeep-
ing for few weeks. l had everything
convenient; never made the beds be-
cause 1t was so well to let them air
thoroughly, and because l believed In
consolidation and that in union there
is strength l did not wash my dishes,
but let them collect and the day before
my mother returned put them in tub
and turned the hose on them.
The success of this venture embold-
ened me to try again, but for reasons
best known to my own soul did not
tell Maria. 1 simply said I could man
age and would really enjoy the novel
performance Of getting my own dinner
and that It would by no means prove
fatal. resolved two things firmly
that 1 should have a good dinner ire
spective of the germ theory, microbes
and bacilli and that the dinner should
be at 6 o'clock promptly. This not hav-
ing meals on time, felt, was all nom
sense, and while Maria was away was
surely the time to indulge in microbes,
for she feared them so she had given
me a restricted diet. That day left
the office at o'clock. I had been think
ing at intervals during the day what l
should have for that dinner. 1 even
meditated corned beef, cabbage, mince
pie and doughnuts. All of them would
make myself after left the Office.
l procured on the way home the
necessary supplies. An alluring dis
play met my eyes. 1 went into the
market and purchased a nice plate
piece of corned beef. 1 was about to
tell the butcher 1 would carry it with
me for my o'clock dinner when the
butcher, who knew me pretty well,
assured me that the corned beef had
to boil number of hours to be done.
In the reaction which followed this an
nouncement l remembered "that he
could send 1t for the next day; l had
meant that all along" and hastily
purchased some oysters and lamb
chops. 81 will have oyster soup for
the first course" said to myself, land
chops and tomatoes for the second. II
that won't be good, don't know what
will"
1t was o'clock when l got home.
1t was so lonely without Maria that
thought 1 had better start the dinner
at once; besides, I wanted that meal
at o'clock sharp. Maria had about
bothered the life out Of me by not
having meals on time. lighted
the burners on the gas stove, and
decided to make biscuit, mince pie
and doughnuts, besides cooking the
oysters and the meat. By $50 was
just enjoying the thing. had the milk
for the oysters contentedly boiling on
one of the burners. and the others had
been blazing for some time. all ready
for use when wanted. The first thing
did was to find cookbook.
l ran down the index through pump
kin, lemon, carrot, custard, until got
to mince pie. This l read carefully.
Then 1 sadly closed the book. Mince
pie required cold meat. apples and
thousand other things and could not
be made In an impromptu manner,
and at 6 | must have that dinner. l
felt distressed, but there were still the
doughnuts. ! was just in the midst
Of discovering 1t would take at least
a good two hours to make doughnuts
when, by thunder, didn't that milk
boil over! l felt like going through the
whole litany. | rushed to the stove,
seized my clean handkerchief and had
Just made up my mind that the milk
must be done enough for the oysters
when l discovered the handkerchief
was done also.
The crisis being past, l decided to
make my biscuit. l thought this time
l would not consult the cookbook. for
1t was getting along toward 6, and 1t
took too long to hunt up recipes.
put a great deal of flour in a small
bowl, dumped in some water, and pro-
ceeded to mold it all into shape as
/. had seen Maria often do. In the
interim | talked to myself.
81 know all about this" l said with
pride. you just stir until it gets the
consistency of cream, put in a pinch
of salt and flavor to taste. That's
what they always say. | have read 1t
hundreds of times. l can't fail.
shall just slap them into a tin pan and
put them In the oven" l felt was
succeeding so well that l actually be-
gan to hum. when suddenly 1t occurred
to me to wonder II one creased the
tins. when In doubt, don't grease"
I said to myself, and l quickly deco
rated the pans with dabs of dough.
Five minutes later l had a sickening
feeling, for Maria had never told me
about the oven. l felt sure, however,
that, being a man, would understand
any such mechanical contrlvance as
a gas stove. | wondered what under
the sun possessed the inventor of a
gas stove to put the oven down near
Tile uOOT. AN IdluSI q pOitiS lhdh,
and getting down on my knees to
look into that old oven wasn't an easy
thing. l turned on the gas and went
for the match. When l came back
and crawled on my hands and knees
to light the jet-great heavensHan
explosion occurred that sent me half
across the room. In the middle of II
all heard that Internal milk boiling
over again.
The greatest Of natures, when
aroused, sometimes become terrible.
felt murderous. also felt desper
ate. l gradually approached that oven
again assumed the attitude Of prayer
and put those biscuits inXith slam.
was perspiring ell over. l took of
my tie and collar and looked at my
watch. 1t was G:3O. 1 was to have
dinner at 6, and the tomatoes were not
touched yet! wiped them off, got
the butcher knife and began to peel
them, for I reflected l had no time
to waste in cooking them.
| would eat those microbes alive.
Life ut this crisis seemed Of little worth
anyway. | had read somewhere that
tomatoes should lee skinned, not peeled;
but the more | tried to skin those
peSky things the more the inSides came
too. y terrible expression came over
my face. ! did not know but my usu-
ally kind disposition WIS ruined for
\ a r L., l. 4