The Butte inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1901-1912, 1901-09-13
where WOMEN FAIL
OTHERWISE SENSIBLE, SHE CAN
NOT SEND A TELEGRAM.
INVARIABLY HER Bette NOIR
Some Amusing Instances Where the
Fair Sex Went to Pieces in Using
the Telegraph Wire-Told
by Drummers. '-.

III makes no difference how sensible
woman Is. she will always show a
WoefuI lack OF grey matter, when 1t
comes to telegram" The speaker
was Arthur Comstock, a travelling man.
who was addressing party of friends
at the Finlen hotel. His remark was
greeted with roar and every man of
the party addressed, spoke as one indi-
vidual. you are right there" came in
chorus. II know that to be fact"
well here is an example Of it," con-
tinued Mr.. Comstock. My wife ds to
meet me here tomorrow night. That has
been agreed for some time past. She
has been visiting her parents in St. Paul
and Is now ready to return to our home
in Salt Lake. I figured on my itinerary
so that we could meet here and go home
together. Now here is her telegram an
nouncing her arrival: II arrive in Butte
from st. Paul Saturday night, Northern
Pacific railroad train. Meet me-"
What do you think of that? She must
have thought would inns s.ne she would
arrive in China, from London, or some
other old place and when she wrote
Northern Pacific railroad train" it was
to keep me from being confused and i'm
agining she was coming on a steamship
or in balloon. Then she says meet me"
as though I would not do that. Surely
when she sen6s a telegram dated St. Paul
and know she is there and the tele-
gram is addressed to me at Butte. can
figure that she is coming from St. Paul
and to Butte. My wife has used just
fourteen words when she might have
wired: "Arrive Saturday night, North
ern Pacific" But that Is a wolnan's way
II can beat that" said one or the lis
teners. my wife was to meet me in
Chicago, some time ago and she wired
me: Il arrived Chicago Monday morn
ing. meet me at the train Now there
are just a few depots in Chicago and
was up tree. I met first one and then
another train until got tired. Then l
made tour of the hotels and late at
right found her
'She was Wild because I had not met
her and would not listen to no reason.
She said that l had always told her to
try and get her messages IN ten words
and she had done so. Finally l made
her understand that she might have
named the railroad, and the hour of ar
rivel and left out the Meet me at the
train and still have been within ten
words and have avoided all trouble"
'Well' said another member of the
party II think 1 can beat both those
yarns. My wife had been visiting
friends in Pittsburg and was to meet me
in Chicago. I waited as long as could
with patience and then wired Am
rushed. Shall l wait another day or
go ahead?" You can uot imagine the
answer I got. 1t nearly knocked me
off my feet. She wired me just one word
and that was certainly She told me
afterward that she thought she was saw
ing money sending one word and sup
posed 1 would understand that she
meant for me to wait for her.
"Those are all very well boys" said
the fourth member of the party land 1
do not want to appear in the Tight OF
man who is stretching things but think
my experience with my wife, over the
telegraph wire eclipses anything you
fellows have told. My wife had been
spending a month with relatives in Min
neapo,is. She was in poor health and
when heard nothing from hes, Sor more
than a week, I became alarmed and
wired her to know what was wrong. MY
telegram read something like this:
When do you start? Are you i'll? Am
greatly worried
81 waited for twenty four hours and
getting no answer asked the telegraph
company to learn IL the telegram went
through all right. The company IN
formed me that my telegram had been
delivered. Then asked them to please
get an answer. They did and you could
guess for a thousand years and never
hit on what it was It was the limit and
particularly when I had SO expressly
stated my worried condition of mind"
well what was the answer?' came
from the bunch.
..WhSt was it? Well you will roar
when YOU hear it. Would you believe II
thot wife of mine wired me back: AN
swer coming will madl.'
There was a roar Just as the gentle
man had prophesied and when 1t sub
sided. the bunch agreed that women were
"plumb locoed," when 1t come to tele-
grams.