The Weekly Tallahasseean., 1901-09-20
THE LIARS CLUB MEETING.
The President OuEclassed by the
Meek-Eyed Secretary.


The Tallahassee liars Club was in
regular weekly session. The CONVEX
sation drifted to dogs and the man!
remarkable feats performed by then
under excitement OF the moment.
Why said the Olear-eyed presi
dent of the club, "Ijonce owned a dol
that was all right Until he saw a tre
falling. The darned fool seemed t
think it his bOunde3 duty to get unde
every one that fell saround the place
and in the spring when went odt to
split rails 1 always chained him Sc
curely.
Zone day was getting down a very
large tree, and juse as it commenced
falling heard old TOwser coming and
yelping like the detil had Inn by the
tail. tried to stop Sim, but the blam-
ed fool was so excl led that he rushed
by me and right under the falling pine.
81 saw it fall square across his back,
and did not even go to see, for knew
he was mashed intC{ sausage.
Half an hour latsr L saw him going
limping off tOwardSthe house. Know
ing the tree had faisen on him, l went
to investigate. Sure enough there was
where he had been: mashed into the
ground just enough to make his i'm
print in the sand, bsIt small log, not
more than four to SIX inches, had saveu
him. He happened:to be parallel with
it, and had pulled Bimself out. 1 sup
pose he was stunned at first, or he
would have made some Outcry."
*%>&
That's nothing, ''ssaid the Weak-eyeG
secretary. 81 once owned a dog named
Lion. He was a big black cross be-
tween a cur and a Newfoundland. He
was the devil for running rabbits, anG
if they gave him -Ahalf a chance he
would run them down.
lone day was in the field plOwing
and heard him after a rabbit down in
the branch near by; At noon he fail
ed to show up for ainner. The whole
family became alarmed, he being 2
great pet, and upon returning to work
went down whers l had heard him
to investigate.
There was an old cypress stump,
twenty or twenty-five feet high, and it
was hollow. l sawNwhere he had been
scratching around &he roots, but there
was no dog in sighs
Thinking perhSps he had been
snake-bit and started home l pulled
out my whistle and gave one or two
calls.
"Well, sir, thats blamed dog COM
menced whining ffom ins-Le the ey-
press stump.
81 stuck my head inside, and sure
enough there he was, not more than
eight feet up. BIZ it was pretty
close fit, and the spIinters le1C by the
decaying tree all stuck up. He could
not drop back for splinters sticking
him. ..
at is well know1 that a dog is more
afraid of a bear than anything else,
and realizing that:only one thing re-
manned, and that one thing for Lion
to go out at the top of the stump. |
scratched on the sides of the hollow
and grOWled like bear.
We'll, sir, old Lion gave a little
whine, and rotten. wood fell all over
my head. AS he reached the top it
broke off with him and he hit the
ground running.
when 1 reached home at nig-.t it
took all sorts of EOaXing to get him
from under the bed, where he had lay
curled up all afternoon.
ct was mean trick to play on
Lion, but what could l dO?"
%#E
The presidents face by mis- time
had assumed a terribly disgusted eX-
preston. 1t was evident that he did
not care to prolOng the meeting, and
a wink from the vlce-president to the
chaplain brought a motion to adjourn
before the past grand master liar could
get the attention of the club.