Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-08-21

cNeis pouJ ciSe . n"s'
Record.
Lady Ito departing seryanb-What
shall | say in your reference? Servant
Just that | stood II for six months
with you, num-that'll do for me.-Tit-
Bits.
Mamma-Bessle, did you give the
goldfish fresh water this morning, as
told your Bessie (aged 4)-No. mamma.
they hadn't drank hardly any of the
other yet
Patience-What Is good to reduce
flesh? Patrice-Well | had friend
who bought bicycle, and she told me
she fell off little every day.-Yonkers
Statesman.
A Paradoxical Talesman: Judge
Have you formed any opinion on this
case? Wouldbeigh Juror-No, sir; l
haven't mentioned 1t to my wife,
Smart Set.
First Office Boy-I've got sixteen
aunts, two grandmothers an great
grandmother. Second Office Boy-Gee!
W'ot lot of ball games you oughter
see dis summer.
Harry" said his mother, don I
throw away that nice bread. You may
need it some day" "Well," replied the
little fellow, "if | keep 1t till then 1t
won't be fit to eat"
81 understand that Frailman has
come to the conclusion to contest his
wife's will" "Well what Is there cour-
ageous about that? She's dead. isn't
Y-Richmond Dispatch.
He-These seaside resorts are all
alike-a soapbox hotel, stretch OF
sand, and a lot of bleaehed blondes.
She-Yes. And occasionally some mis-
cradle apology for man.-Exchange.
"Oh, you cruel boy, to take those
eggs out Of the nest! Think of the poor
mother bird when she comes "The
mother birds dead, miss How do
you know that p 81 see 1t In your hatw
Punch.
"She caught thief in the house and
chased him four blocks" said the ad-
mirlng friend. isn't 1t strange" re-
piled the sarcastic rival, "how some
girls are always after the men?'-Chi-
cago Post.
Mrs. Sharpe (severely)-Norah, l
can find only seven of these plates.
Where are the other five? Cook dn
surprise)-Sure, mum, don't yez make
no allowances for ordinary wear an
tear?-Puck.
A little 3-year-old miss one day dis
covered a neighbours chickens scratch
ing In the back yard and, calling to her
mother said "Oh, mamma; Mrs.
Smiths chickens are wiping their feet
on our grass!'
Hence the Term: Clarence-Why do
you say the wedding was patriotic?
Algernon-Well. the bride was red, the
groom was white. and her father, who
had all the bills to pay, was blue
Baltimore World.
Lawyer-You would say, then, that
Mr.. Whyte is a gentleman of unim-
peachable veracity? Witness-Yes, sir,
| presume that If anybody asked me to,
| should; but | have known him to lie
ometimes.-Sommerv Journal.
Downie referring to the pleasant
faced lady who has just passed)-Ah,
my boy, | owe great deal to that
woman. Dorking-Indeed! She's not
your mother, Is she? Downie-No, my
Glasgow Evening Times.
Little Tommy-Mamma, that was
good beef We had for dinner. Where
did you get it, Mamma-That wasn't
beef, my son. 1t was roast pork. Lit
tie Tommy-Then why didn't you tell
me before. You know don't like pork.
Mamma" said 4-year-old Willie, Il
wish l had velocipede." WELL" she
replied, "why don't you ask papa to
buy you oneY' 'I'd rather you would
ask him, mamma" replied the little
diplomat. you've known him longer
than l have"
"My good little man. said the visit
ing pastor, II am afraid you've been
fighting. A black eye. Don't you want
me to pray with your "Naw," said
the good little man; run home and
pray with your own kid. He's got two
black eyes. Philadelphia Press.
Papa (severely)-Did you ask man.
ma If you could have that apple? Five
-old-Yes, papa. Papa-Be careful
now. I'll ask mamma, and IL she says
you didn't ask her, I'll whip you for
telling story. Did you ask mamma?
Five-year-old-Pap | asked her, CA
pause.) She said / couldn't have it,
I1t-Bits.
"Tve saved heap o. time. said
Meandering Mike, compacently. by
hurryin'?" asked Flooding Pete, appre-
hensively. mo. Jes' by takin' Il easy.
Instead o. pilin' up wealt' an 'havin
to git poor by givin' 1t away. started
out poor in de fust place an have helt
me own manfully ever since. Wash
ington Star.
Convincing His Chum: Johnny Gin
the carbohydrates! therl ! ok out
of the window. Father quitting out