Daily Kennebec journal., 1901-06-17
MODERN ANANlAS.
How One Augusta Man Got His Sea-
shore Sun Burn.
And How He Says He Got il When Ms Friends
Inquire.

It has always been a matter or dm,bt
in the minds of some whether Anan;,a
and Sapphira left issue or not and
now an Augusta man comes forward
with the statement that he Is satisfied
in his own mind that they did and
claims to have absolute proof that one
of his ncighbors is not only a lcnial
descendant but is next of kin. He
says:
Il used to wonder in NV bovhood
days why DioSenes took so much
trouble to hunt Tor an honest man with
lantern. had the idea that they we're
as plenty/as applications for soft
government job, and all one had to do
when they wanted one was to step out
on the street and lasso the first thing
that wore pants and there you had
them. In my Suilcless faith in man.
kind l thought old Dog was not only
wasting his time, which Franklin says
is money. but burning out good oil. He
may have had oil TO burn and running
the risk of getting his lantern smash-
ed by collision with a bicycle or auto
mobile in his wandering.
II thought dog had not got onto his
job and was putting up gigantic bluff
and springinS an original idea on an
unsuspectinG public ostensibly to boom
himself for the Presidency of the lee
ture platform. Dut the delusion is past
and the scales have fallen from nv
eyes, and the old man knew trick or
two that the boys had not got onto.
] have only ceased to wonder that he
took a lantern. but my present wonder
&c. hat l,A n Il
to see en- and brass band to drive
them out. | think then he would have
had hard work to get enough for a
lncs..
Il am sorry to get my faith In hu-
man nature so awfuly distorted but
such alas is the case. | was i'm homes
Y to get all through life with that motto
pasted on my foot board about the
/ hcncSt man being the noblest work.
etc. but since | met one of my neigh
bors, the other morning, with a face on
him that looked like the ace of hearts
and both checks puffed UP as if he was
trying his wind on a blowing machine
and nose with a hiproof like the off
claws of prize lobster, only a little
more on the Italian sunset color: the
with mosquito bites that gave one the
impression of a copper plate bed quilt
with red buttons on it where it had
been tackled and hands that reminded
one of the hand on a guide board.
Since meeting my ncighhor as l say.
| nave changed my mind and when |
asked him where he had been to get
50 burned up he said so chiIdlikc and
bland that he v5ent to church on sun
day and sit well down in front in the
family pew where the reflection Of the
sun through the Stained glass window
hit him and freseoed him in this fam
tastic manner. I made up my mind
that if Ananias when he shufIicd off
this mortal coil left any property. real
or personal. my nciShbor was certainly
one Of the heirs. and should come in
for liberal slice as the next OF kin
and after telling that story no jury in
the world would decide against him if
ne wished TO sue for Il sons share or
an offspring'S right of dover. And
should Anani2S return to this earthly
sphere | think he would find his voca-
ton gone and a better man in his
place, one who could turn off smoother
work. more of finished product and
do II with that ease and grace that is
so refreshing ana pleasing to listen to
and as for the prize in the shape Of
n belt that the Prcvaricators Club
hung up some time ago. my neighbor
Is dead ringer and would be barred
i'll the contest, for none of the boys
would stand ghostly chance of win
ming.
Il suppose if | had told him
that | saw him. late Satur-
day night. struggling up the hill
With six quart bait pail in his hand
he would have told me ii was commun-
ion wine he was taking to church. or
a treat for his Sunday school class. So
| am convinced that this modern An
aniaS is not only a chip Of the old
block. but he is the whole block and
should he tell the truth some time by
mistake | would give him canker. and
If | was indebted to His Satanic Ma
jcsty for 10 prevaricationS and he
would not take my neighbor and call
the deal square would not bank much
on his business Judgment