The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-11-15

Her One Request "Charley, DEAR"
said young Mrs. Torkins, ''there is one
favor: l want to ask you. 1 hope you
will realize it is for your own good and
you to solemnly promise me that you will
never bet on a horse that isn't going to
win. '-Washington Star.
| As the. daily train reached Vermont
village the other day an antique-looking
dame thrust her head out of the widow
! opposite the refreshment room and loud
| ~ shouted:
'Sonnyr'
A bright-looking boy came up to the
| window.
"Litt! L. boy" she said, have you a
Yes, ma'am.''
| DO YOU go to SCHOOL,"
"Are you, faithful to your studies?"
| Yes, ma'am.'
| Yes, ma'am."
Can l trust YOU to do an errand 70 :.
Yes. ma 'am"
| II think | can. too.'' said the lady,
locking steadily down on the manly face,
Here IS five cents to get me an apple
| remember, God sees you Boston
Courier.
What He Smelled.-"I smell something
| burning said the husband after no had
lighted his pipe and settled back in the
easy chair for a. comfortable smoke.
| 'lsn't it deliciousv' exclaimed his wife
| loyously; II cmptied whole 10: of rose
leaves in your tobacco jar!"-Ohio State
Journal.
When you see young man sitting in
a parlor with the ugliest 4-year-old how
that ever frightened himself in mirror
clambering over his knees. jerking his
necktle out Of place. ruffling his shirt
front, pulling his hair, kicking his shins.
feeling in all his pockets for coppers,
while the unresisting victim smiles ali the.
| tlme IKE the cover of comic paper, you
has sister who is in room not twenty
feet away, and that the young man
| doesn't come there just for the fun of
playing with her brother.-Tit-Bits.
Hicks-"He says Christian Science
makes him tired. You should hear him
bo %isks s. mnc5 s idea; Why should he
Hicks HE has to. He's the coroner
Times.
4 story is told of a physician in China
who had miSmanaged CASE whereupon
the indignant family seized him and tied
nm up' put in the night he managed
ming river, which cut of pursuit.
When he reached home he found his
son, who. had just begun to study medi
cine, porting over his books. He wrung
out his wet clothes. and, turning to the
student. said gravely:
MY son, don't be in hurry with
your books, the first and most important
thing is to learn to SWIM"
Dean Swift of St. Patrick's. Dublin.
was one day watching with a friend The
| roof of building on which several mon
| were at work fixing states. Suddenly one
of the men vanished. Thereupon the dean
turned to his companion and said: II like
| work."
New Girl-..'Please. sir. the missus is
cut, and l can't do thing with the baby.
He cries all the time
Mr.. Winks-"Humph! Something must
De done l.et-me-see. There's an idiot
asylum only a few squares away. Send
up for one of the female inmates to come
down here at once. I'll pay all charges"
| creature as that!'
II think maybe she'll be able to talk
baby talk to him until his mother re-
turns. New York Weekly.
He Lived Untimely.-"I have often
Jonah was" ''How's that?'' "Whv' If
he had turned that whale trick in the
twentieth century, he'd have been in ev-
cry soap advertisement in the civilized
Nike said Mrs. Flanagan. looking
from the paper in her hand to her hus-
band, who had just signed the temper
ance pledge, "shure an a great docther
SEE thot alcohol do be a shure cure for
carbolic acid pizen, an if so be yez
haven't amy alcohol. thin twict as much
BE quick, thin, Norah, me dear. an
I'm thot desp'rit there's no tellin' whin
LII be nadin' the rimidy."-Judge.
| Mlstress-"Now, remember, Bridget,
the Joneses are coming for dinner to-
night" Cook-'Leave it to me, mum.
I'll do me worst! They'll never trouble
yez again!"-Harper's Bazaar.
Theodore-"1t's all right, darling. I
have met your father, and we took to one
another at once. He even went so far as
to borrow $40 of me. surrey. ne can't
refuse me your hand after that" Edith
''Dory, I'm afraid you've made mess of
it.. Pa told me about the $40, and said
Id better let You slide; that you were too
easy.'-Boston Transcript
| -:O:-
How vain you are, Effie. Looking at
yourself in the glass Vain, Aunt EN-
ma! Ne vain? Why. l don't think my
self half as good-looking as l really
amr'-Tit-Bits
| Faik Pasha, vice-admiral of the Turk
ish navy, has been forced to flee the coun
try. Perhaps the sound of his name had
something tc do with it.-Cleveland Lead
/ er.