Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-12-06
"When Tom Proposed"

ON was wont to declare that his
environmenthad eradicated every
- vestige of sentiment that he had
originally possessed.
How can a fellow retain any feel
ing Of sacredness in regard to proposal
or an engagement after hearing such
things canvassed by the girls as
have?" he would say, pathetically. ITS
my firm belief that most women have
no more sentiment than oyster. If ever
propose it will be in such a way that
the girl can't make fun of it afterward
among the other girls
Tom was an only son. He had seven
sisters and innumerable girl cousins.
Tom was thoroughly conversant with
the love affairs Of all of them.
There was good ground for his belief
that he knew more Of the inside facts
as to how men propose than any other
man living. His presence had never in
terrupted or postponed any account Of
a girlish adventure, a Irritation or a
proposal.
Its only Tom" the girls would say.
And Tom rather enjoyed the revela-
tions.
From the height Of his superior
knowledge, Tom occasionally advised
his comrades, who were less blessed
with sisters and cousins.
''It's no use, Billy" he said to Billy
Baxter, who had suggested a proposal
by letter as an easy way; ''it's no use
trying to dodge the inevitable. If there
Is any particular she in your case,
don't try writing, for even if she in
tends to refuse you she will write ask
ing you to call, and you must go over
the whole thing by word of mouth, be-
fore she drops you into the depths with
a no.
Besides, 1t gives the girls an awful
chance at fellow" he continued. "I'm
not calling any names, but less than a
week ago heard a letter proposal read
by the recipient, and a dozen girls as
sisted in composing a suitable reply 1
furnished the stamps and posted the
letter. The poor devil is in Germany.
1 also cabled my condolences. 1 now
they will be appreciated when that let
ter reaches him."
Billy groaned dismally.
81 infer you've already sent your let
ter" said Tom, cheerfully.
Billy groaned again in reply.
''Now, l like the 'Barkis is willin' ;
plan," went on Tom. You know Bob
Bob Treherne? Well, Bob has what
20 ,rif of
gallopin'.' He made elaborate prepara-
tions; rehearsed before the glass; left
hand in coat front, right used in appro-
pirate gestures, head thrown back,
chest Xpanded-favorite attitude with
men who are photographed in dress
suits. Told the story of his love Ito his
own reflection in the mirror), using the
choicest diction and the most beautiful.
ly rounded sentences. Make big stock
of ideals, passionate DEVOTION 'life's
inspiration and all that sort. Pictured
to himself Bessie's downcast eyes, soft.
ly flushed cheeks and trembling lips.
Bob confessed all this to me recent
ly. 1 was about years old, and was in
the room when the actual occurrence
took place. Bob took my sisters kitten
on his lap and said Pussy, ask your
mistress if she will marry me- And
Bess pulled Kitty's tail, saying, Tel
him yes, Pussy Then she said: Tom
go tell father and mother that Bob and
are engaged
81 suppose the regulation things hap.
pened after 1 went out But that goes
to show of how little avail are great
preparations"
But such abruptness might displease
some girls" suggested Billy.
$50 it might" admitted Billy; "for
instance, when Silvie was visiting Bar.
bara in western Kansas, a good-lookinp
ranchman whom Silvie had met twice
galloped up one day, and when Silyie
came to the door he said: 4 Just rode
over to see if you would marry me-
"'No, indeedv gasped Silvie. We'll
the things off my mind, anyhow and
he put spurs to his horse and galloped
away. I admire that style myself"
But, Tom," walled Billy, "you dom,
know-you were never in love-"
Much you know about thai" return
ed Tom promptly. "I've been desperate
ly in love ever since Alice Dainty came
to visit Marie"
waiting good chance| questioned
Billy, eagerly.
mot at all. I've had plenty o.
chances. I'm waiting until circum
stances are such that she can't max,
me feel I'm dirt under her feet"
The next day Tom took his sister
guest for sail to Plymouth. Alice wa.
fresh and dainty in crisp white sui
and a becoming yachting cap. Tom'i
heart thumped violently.
mo chance for me today" III
thought; "she is as imperiouD as {
queen"
But the day proved unfavorabIe fol
pleasure seekers. The water was rougf
and the great steamer rocked and plow
ed until even Tom felt qualmish. Alice