The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-10-05
STORYETTES.

The train had just recommended it's
journey.
What did the porter say was the next
ststion7" asked one passenger OF an
other.
Excuse me-" said passenger No. 2,
you mean what is the next station. It's
still station, you know"
You're wrong Is Is was, but was is
not necessarily ia"
Now you're getting ridlculeHs," said
the second speaker, irritably. What was
yhss Ss Z sodsh ri Is wa. Is may BE- Is E but
il is not was is was was, but II was was
Is. then is isn't is. or was wasn't was. If
was y was is was isn't 1t? But II is is
Listen; Is. is, was was. and is was
and was is therefore, Is was is. and was
was was, and is is was"
shut up. will you! I've gone by my
alton already"
And there was silence for awhile.
DR.. Temple the archbishop of Canter-
bury is a notable persor age about whom
many good stories ars related Some years
ago young curste seeking 20 be licensed
Was hidden by Or, Temple 10 read few
verses of the Bible In order that his fit-
ness for conducting public worship might
Not loud enough" was the criticism
Of the bishop when the young man had
Oh Inn sorry to hear that, my lord"
replied the curate; "a lady in the church
yestes day told me could be heard most
platnly all over"
"Ah, are YOU engaesd9'' suddenly asked
DIR. Temple.
Yes, my lord"
The bishop smiled grimly and said:
Now, listen 10 me, Young man. While
YOU are enga ged don't believe everything
the lady tells YOU but" he added. With
dsep chuekle. after you are married
believe every word she says"
poor Scotch woman lay dying and
her husband sat beside her bedside. Altar
q time the wife took her husbands hand
John we're going to part / have
been guide wife To YOU, haven't I?''
Iohu thought moment
''well, just middling like, Jenny, you
know" anxious not to say too muoh.
Again the wife spoke.
"John, she said. family, ''ye maunt
promise to bury me IN the AUD kirkSaIe oos,,e
ma rest in peace among unco' folk in
the dirt and smoke O glasgow"
w Weel; ~, Mel Jenny nm my ~, woman said
Glsssie hrst. an sin ye dlnna be quist
well Try Sc IN str-avon.
An English clergyman complains that
he Is daily deluged with letters contain
ing requests from strangers who are only
occasional members os his consress,is9n
cuse my writing to YOU, but l have seen
YOU IN the pulpit. and l have heard YOU
preach. Would YOU kindN tell me the
name OF the curste who was az ST. AL
bsp,s In the year lllSg Another quaint
been so delighted with ihe beautiful SER
mons aud services you have. hut could
YOU send me cook
As an an instance Of ouriously apt word
| coinage. the story is told of London
! milk seller who called the other day
at tile house uf a regular customer. aud
finding no one at home debated with him
self what he should do FINALLY Ne hl,ed
a pint can aud left IL at the door with the
pencLlSd words. ON spprovocation." The
/ deliVVfy of goods witch have not been
/ ordered in the hope OF sale Is by NO means
l unfamiliar. and such goods might thus
he said to he sent ON spproyocstien."
In one OF his conversat tons with Au-
| gustus IIara chief Justice Morris said he
was sitting ou the bench in Ireland and
after case had been tried he said %
matter. YOU will retire ~ your accus-
| toned place" and tvo-thirds az them
| went into the dock Another time he
sad 10 a cuiprit. II can produce ave
4 witnesses who saw YOU steal that COW -
YES said the prisoner. hut I can pro-
duce 500 who did not.
Gen Grant on one occasion ran into n
private in the Confederate ranks and the
private called. General where are YOU
| going TO Pstersburs ! think. but
may be- 90 heaven or 10 he'll" the general
replied We'll ] viii tell you. general y
| petershure and StoneWail Jackson IL in
heaven He'll IL the only place left for
| you" Grant enioyed thu thrust. grim
"a II vss.-Chicsxo News