The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-06-02
FAT ENGINEER Is BANTING NOW.

New York Sun.


Il have been dieting myself for the past
two three weeks in order to reduce my
flesh, said the fat engineer, glancing visit
fully at a plate OF pork and beans ON the
railroad restaurant Ia BILE while he mincing-
~ chewed soda biscuit and drank a cup
of tea, land | can't eat such things as |
would like. L was moved to take these
drastic measures by something that oc-
CURED about month ago. 1t came out all
right, although serious disaster might
have resulted.
Il have been running one OF those Mother
Hubbard engines with the Wooten boilers
lately. and they're no cinch for fat men.
Although | am accustomed 10 il now IL was
rather awkward for me at first. with the
boiler running clear through the cab. II
don't give the engineer much room, can
tell you. Another thing | don't like about
this class of engines is the way YOU are
congenial person like myself Is extremely
hard.
For the past year there has been so
much freight traffic on the road that we
fellows i'm the freight service have been llv
ing the ragtime life and no mistake. one
thing though, working so hard has rather
increased my appetite, and before began
this reform movement l ate at any and all
times. / have always been accustomed 10
taking a liberal sized dinner bucket with
me my trips on the road, but L have
cut that out now and only carry some
health food in a small cracker box.
1T is an unwritten rule with engineers
on these Wooten engines 70 have speclai
running board at the right hand side of the
boiler, right behind the engineers cab. 30
j fell into the habit myself unconsciously,
and got Ia placing my dinner pail in that
place This was rather a precarious thing
for person of my figure to do. as the only
way TO get at the dinner pail when III Is IN
that position is through small door III
the rear of the engineers cab on the rlsht
side.
ION the trip l am speaking about every
thing had happened that could happen 10
irrit fp a ma lp
fall found us bound east after long nara
round on the westward trip. When L OILED
around at Cheechunk water tank told my
fireman that | had certainly got my
moneys worth on this trip and from that
time ON | was going TO lace 1t right to the
old engine and make time or bust toId
him not 10 be surprised if 1920 did some
tall stunts of running before We got in.
After attending to the refreshment OF
my locomotive at the water tank, naturdiy
my thoughts turned to the refreShment OF
the engineer, and after getting them going
good away from the water plug unfaS-
tened the small door in the back OF my
cab and thrust ny hand through, expect
to grasp the respectable proportions of my
we'll filled dinner pail. You can imagine
my feelings when | tell you that my hand
failed to reach the object of which 1t was
in quest.
Being so suddenly cut off from communi
cation with my commissary department
ratified me completely and ] rashly stuck
my head and shoulders through the small
aperture TO make more complete inVest-
cation But | could not make out the ia
miiar lines of my grub bucket. Greatly dis
appointed | tried to draw in my shoulders.
but | couldn't bulge. | was tightly Wedged
in the little door and could get neither way.
In my excitement during the search for my
lest department of subsistence | had taken
little notice of the difficulty with which
got my head and shoulders through the
small door and now here was. stuck The
throttle Of the engine was wide open and L
had hooked her up close before l made
preparations 10 eat. and here we were,
hanging along, nit or miss, with no guiding
hama at the throttle We were dashin2
along down the short hills at alarming
rate of speed. The fireman. away back in
the tender. needing what had said 10 him
at the water tank. would probably take no
notice of the increased momentum OF the
train The situation was certainly des-
perate.
~ renewed my efforts to free myself fran
tically. trying at first TO force myself on
through the door and then endeavoring to
drawn my head and shoulders back into the
cab, but II all seemed Intellectual.
MY feet barely touched the floor of the
cab, and | commenced kicking them vio-
lently through the air after the manner of
a bulfrog. BY doing this I seemed TO be
making a hardly perceptible gain in fore
ing myself through the door toward the
fireman's sheet iron cab. but suddenly one
of my feet got caught. Then | gave up all
hope. l determined to make one last eff
fort to free my foot and then give up the
ship.
Jerking strongly on my captive leg, the
right one. | was startled TO hear a loui
blast of the whistle / am not usually slow
at perception, but ii was fully a minute
before it dawned upon me that my foot was
caught i'm the stirrup-like handle OF the
whistle valve When | did come TO | COM
menced to work that whistle with my foot
for ali 1t was worth. sending forth short:
sharp toots on the still night air. the usual
signal when danger is imminent
1.-THE fireman was first TO realize my pre-
dicament and answer the summons He
stopped the train. and then with the help
of the trainmen got me loose, after they
had Invested me of half my clothing and
taken out part of the frame OF the door.
That is why l am dieting now. BY the way.
/ never found my dinner pail. and some of
the boys are cruel enough TO say that I
carry that cracker box because i am too
stingy to buy another pail.