The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1901-06-21
HAlAH!a!I|EEgH


sorr, Oi didn't have time to pull up
post" answered the accused.-Indian-
apolls Press.
Sereen-I say, old man, how Is Hob
son regarded in the navyf Mareen--
Well, I'll tell you; the navy looks on
him as man who made his reputation
on collier and lost it ON a smack
Town Topics.
I'VE cannot consider your story sert-
ously," wrote an editor to an author;
you have killed your hero In the mid
die of It." To which the author re-
piled: Il killed him because he made
me tired. Current Literature.
Bullying His Wife: Jones-Dear mel
You say you often lay down the law to
your wife; how do you go about it?
Bones-Why, all you need is flrmness;
usually go into my study, lock the
door, and do 1t through the keyhole.-
Bits.
He-Gissfe, I've heard that a kiss
without a mustache is like an egg with
out salt. Is that so? She-Well, really,
l don't know-I can't tell, for, you see,
I've never He-Ah! Nowl She
Never eaten an egg without salt.-Glas-
Cow Times.
Not to be Expected: Shopman-This
matches your sample perfectly, mad
am. Customer-It certainly does; 1t
couldn't be closer. Shopman-How
many yards do you wish? Customer
oh! not any yet; you see, this Is the
very first shop I've tried
Mrs. ondego (making a calD-I am
sorry to hear you are having trouble
with your cook. Mrs. Upjohn-Yes; I
shall have to let Serena go; I didn't
mind her practicing ON the. piano now
and then, but she wants to jodn our
golf club!-Chicago Tribune.
In the great corridor of obscurlty two
men faced each other. "Give me the
WALL" said one; II, sir, was once Vice
President" The other laughed de-
risiye laugh. "Nonsenser' he exclaim-
ed; II take precedence here. am the
husband of an authoress." ss."-Life.
Teacher-Jimmy, II you found eight.
cen pennies and another boy should
take two-thirds of them away, what
would each Of you have? Jimmy-I'd
have six pennies, and he'd have a good
thumpin' less he'd handed back the
rest of 'em mighty quick. Bits.
Strategy: Elder Sister-Mr. Billmore
said you were in the parlor long time
last night, but don't suppose you used
much gas. Younger Sister-The reason
you didn't see any burning, Emily. was
because Harold carelessly hung his hat
on the door knob.-Chicago Tribune.
Knew His Boy: Benson-Look here
that boy of yours threw stone at me
just now, and barely missed mel Proud
Father-You say he missed youi Ben
son (angrily)-You heard what said,
didn't you? Proud Father-Then It
couldn't have been my boy.-Tt-Bits
Mamma-What makes you so sick 7
hope you haven't been chewing tobac-
CO. Tommy-O-b -boo-hool No, ma am.
Mamma-Im glad to hear that, but
what TOMMY was goin' to chew
1t, but-boo hoo-I seen you comm an
I swallowed 1t whOle.-Philadelph
Record.
Anxious Mother-Tommy, your teach
er says you are the poorest scholar In
your class. Tommy-That's nothing.
1t is only because I don't answer all
the questions she is asking every day.
1t isn't wise to tell all you know to a
woman, even If she does happen to be
a school teacher.-Boston Transcript.
81 own up, Judge; hit him with 6
picket snatched from fence, and he
curled up like sick caterpillar"
"What had he done that tempted you
to commit this assaultT' Judge, he
was trying to figure out to me how
much John d. Rockefeller's income was
minute" Observation-Disclosures
Plain Dealer.
First Lady Passenger-If that win
dow isn't opened this minute I know l
shall die. Second ditto-Who opened
that Window II 1t is not shut, shall
die, I'm sure. Philosophical Gentle
man. Conductor, please keep that win
dow open till one of these ladies dies,
then shut 1t and give the other an OPP
portunity to quit this vale of tears
Boston Transcript
What He Wanted: "Now," said the
celebrated designer, who had been call
ed In by the new billionaire to talk over
plans for a fve-hundred-t -thousand-do
lar yacht, 1--WE have come to an under
standing concerning the size of the
craft, but what about the bulwarks
and the hatchwaysr "Bull-worksw
exclaimed Mr.. Wadhams; II don't want
no bull-works. This amt going to be
no cattle ship, and as for hatchways,
gol durn It, l don't want any OF 'em
aboard. Just you see about place fer
good big Ice box, and don't pay no
'tention to incubators or anything of
the kind. No chicken on this boat!
want you to understand, b'gosh, that l