The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-02-12
MARK TWAIN TAKES
E RAP AT POETS

/ Yesterday afternoon at the annual meet
ing of the University Settlement society
of New York which was held at the
Settlement house, 1S4 Eldridge street
Marx Gld rot Jaik politics, but ne Gre
| aUed a sensation with a recital in which
the themes were Idwnshops, suicide ana
q poet.
Seth Low. the president of the society,
presided. In introducing Mr.. Clemens,
who was the last speaker, he said mat
the humOrISt had suggested the adVIsa-
b1l1Jy OF adJouruIng- Nr. clemens spoke
in substance as IOhOWS.
made, that suggestion in good faltn,
/ for the hour IS iate. / am WiiIhS 70
stand here and talk for two hours, but
[ was thinking or you. That is the way
] was trained from my earliest years-to
I think FIRST OF others. 1 have been trying
chiefly by proxy, Tor that is the easiest
way.
a man can carry about without its burst
ing his clothes. Ten days ago / knew
nothing at all about University Settle
ment work, and / am now aSt0nlShed at
the ma gnItlCenCe OF my own ignorance
But l have been reading pamphlets and
listening to these addresses today, and L
think there is a whole lot Of good in this
sort OF thing It surprises me to see
school where you have to drive the chill
dren away and not in. That never was
the way II my time 1 guess II never
was the way until you made them pay
/ for it. ] Just saw class getting a dane
| ing lesson downstairs. and each pupil
| was charged . cents for the lesson. That s
I the reason ] never learned to dance.
But the thing that interested me most
was the Mont de Piete dOwnStairs-the
pawnbrOker's shop. 1 know more about
that kind of business than about some
of the things you teach here. The ordi-
nary pawnShOp makes YOU pay interest
! of 3 per cent a month. That is a pretty
OneTOuS charge to pay, although I've paid
more myself. When people go to a pawn
shop it is because they need money des-
perately. ] saw a lot of wedding rings
just today in the shop here; that IS pa
thetiC- Those rings were pawned FOR
what?-just to enable someone to live.
And that society charges only per cent
a mOnth-and it is run in the right way,
not Tor charltY nut by rlcn men. VINO
clear per cent year on their money.
q q q
I seem to speak feelingly on that sub
/ ject. do. The other day I was looking
over some manuscript. some OF that IN
published autobiography which am
gradually building up for the instruction
of the world, and / ran across an Incl
dent which happened about forty years
ago in San Francisco. I had been and
was willing to be a repOrter-but others
were not sufficiently interested in me.
| That is, l was out of job. And all l
owned was in the paWnshop. Wen, ran
across another literary person, a poet out
OF JoD- Ihere was a little romance
about him, d love stOry-but that's the
best part of the story, and L guess had
better save il for the autobiography.
(Laughter) One day he told me he
thought he was a failure. I agreed with
him (Laughter) Oh, he was a friend
frankly to a friend. Then he said he
thought he'd commit suicide. I approved
the IDEA. I admit there was a little sell
1lShneSS IN my advice. L was out OF a job,
and the idea struck me that if ] should
have a scoop suicide l could get
work. And the poet could be spared
laughter-Oh, very we'll. So ] kept the
idea of suicide before him-you always
have to do that, suicides are so very I'M
certain He had an absurd preference
people will have preferences, you know.
He wanted TO blow his brains out, but
that was not to be thought of in our
financial condition. Our JOINT belongings
were not enough to get pistol Then he
thought he would drown himself. / went
down to the bay with him--I did not want
any mistakes. But then a miracle hap
pened. There was washed to shore right
at his feet "a lie preseryer
Mr.. Clemens told how a pawnbroker
was induced to trade a loaded derrlnger
fOf tho lite preserver, and then he de-
scri5ed, in accents of horror, how the
young man put the pistol to his head and
fired. The audience had not expected
anything so serious, ana was ViSIbly
shocked. The speaker continued:
When he pulled the trigger it made a
hole clean through his head. It cleaned
out all the gray matter-tOOk 1t atl-dnd
then ne was Just as good as new laugh
teri He had been nothing but a poet be-
fore. He is alive today and an ornament
TO society wish l could have the same
experience with a lot of other poets. And
/ want all the poets to know il
Mir. Clemens closed with a serious word
of commentator for the Settlement So
ciety, and a reminder that they were
all there to show their interest in some
practical way He had intended to draw
check himself, but since he had heard
the addresses he had decided to send a
few copies OF strawberry Finn" and
some other books to the library Mr.
Reynolds in his address had told of the
interest in Mark Twains writings, one
reader having recently asked for Straw
berry Finn.
Richard Watson Glider arose in the
g. 81 tn mn Of
thanks to the speakers. He said;
snail not apply to Mr., Speyer for any
OF the pistols in the paWnShOp daughter.
but l want it distinctly understood that
there Is no occasion in my case. 1t has
been judicially determined that I am not
a poet.
The first order of business was the cleo
ton of the following as members of the
council to serve three years: Stephen r.
DIN, Franklin II. Giddings, Frank J.
GOOdnOW, Seymour L. Cromwell and Ed
win K. A. Seligman. Mrs. Edward X
Hewitt made a report on behalf of the
" oTnen's auxiliary, of which she is vice
president She said that they were soon.
TO have a building specially constructed
manager of the newiy-esta blishea Settle
ment house TOR women works at 80
King street, described the workings of
that institution and the success in reor-
ganizing gangs.
Addresses were also made by James B.
Reynolds, the head worker OF the Set
Element; Franklin II. Giddings of Column
bia University, and William H. Bald
win, tr.
University Missing Links.