davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
CRAB TONCS.


How the Man In the Fish Market Makes
Them and Uses Them.
YES, ma'am, this lots all the same
price take 'em as they run" said the
dealer at sloppy stand in Fulton
market, where seafood was displayed
for sale, and where much of it was
wriggling in life. You pick out each
crab you want and I'll put it in your
basket for you and no extra charge
for the seaweed to keep 'em fresh.
But don't you so to picking them up
for yourself or you'll get pinched; q
crabs as ready to shake hands as
candidate for alderman, and 10 times
as hearty"
Having thus delivered himself, the
dealer overturned a half barrel of
crabs upon the metal top of his
stand, whereupon the lively animals
began Immediately sidewise race de-
handing vigilance and a stick on the
part of the man to prevent his wares
from scuttling down South street.
Then as the buyer pointed out her
selection in the midst of swapping
claws, the dealer deftly picked it out
with a pair of wooden tongs and
dropped it upon the layer of wet sea-
weed at the bottom of the woman's
basket wnere the crab shut up its
claws and burrowed into the damp lay
err, being evidently just stupid enough
to think itself at it's seaside home
Familiarity breeds no contempt for
the prowess of these crustaceans
among the men who spend their days
in selling them. They know that the
common ordinary hard crab of COM
merce can nip the fingers up to the
profanity mark and away beyond it.
and they are not going to be nipped
if it can be avoided. This prudence
and its underlying necessity have
united to evolve the marketman's crab
tongs. Take two pieces of lath about
80 inches long, and whittle two notch
es close to one end of each; then tie
the two sticks together by whipping
piece of fishing line around thew in
the notches. Next separate the two
sticks by slipping cork between
them as far as it will go toward the
fastened end. The cork will stick fast
about six or eight inches from the end
where the flashing is, and will serve to
keep the free ends of the sticks a
few inches apart. With little prac-
tice it is easy to catch up crab in
such homemade tongs as these. When
not in uSe the tCngS fit over the
chine of the crab barrel and are thus
ready TO land when needed.-Nev'
York Tribune. l
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
UNNECESSARY CAUTION.

Hist! histr' said the burglar as he
bent over the man of the house.
Never mind" replied the gentleman,
who was looking up into the revolver /:
my wife's away visiting relatives, and
l assure you that l shall not think of
getting up to grapple with you as long
as she isn't here to accuse ME of cow
ardice and tell the neighbors. Chicago
Record Herald.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
State Government Of Louisiana.

Govsrnor-W. w. Heard,
Lieutenant Governor-Albert Este
pinal.
Secretary of Stste-John Michel.
Superintendent of Education--Johz
v. Calhoun.
Alditor-W. 8. Frazee.
Recommendations e. Smith.
u. s. SENATORS.
DON Cafferey and s. D. McEnery.
REPRESENTATIVES.
! District-R. G. Davey.
q District-Adolph Meyer.
8 District-R. F. Broussard.
1 District-P. Brazeaie.
3 District-J. E. Ransdell.
8 Districts. M. Robinson.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

Graduates hold leading positions all over the
country. instruction all personal.
Having numerous business connections and
being untversally and reputabIy known, we
have superior Advantage IN aiding students to
secure situations.
ga store 10 connected with soule College
N which students do actual business with
reai goode and actual money. and they keep
the books In the Latest labor saving forms.
Students enter ut any time. English, Aca-
deuic. shorthand and business schools. All
eopaxate faculties. Send for catalogue.
Address GEO. SOULE e SONS.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

odmiHy pauSeu, anu tnc uu6n IhQe'
from his face, leaving it unusuall
pale. The judge stood looking OF
across the meadow. drawing the blad
of grass through his fingers.
That's all, SIR" faltered Sammy
"but-but thought you wouldn't
perhaps you wouldn't have the tree
cut IL you knew. for Mrs. Lapham hal
such a very little pleasure, sir, ant
she's feeling SO sad about the trees"
''Um! I'm sorry for that" said II,
| Judge, turning his keen eyes 'owart
the boy at last. Il suppose you're over.
run with pleasure yourself, aren't YOU
like most of the rest of uS?"
Sir" stammered the 10y.
do those old willows aver there
come into your friends picture?" asked
the man, abruptly, pointing to clumr
far along the little meadow brook.
"Oh. no. sir" said Sammy, quickly
''She can't see those at all"
Take the men over there Roberts
and begin work at once. These trees
may stand as long as they're needed to
make q picture for Mrs. Lapham.'
said the judge. Then. as the men
moved away, he turned again to the
boy.
IT'S pity you'd rather help run a
milk route than learn to be an account
ant" he said, in his former curt tone.
I'm rather disappointed in what |
hear of you now. I thought you had
ambition"
Sammy's face grew scarlet again ard
his lips trembled, but he kept his eyes
fixed bravely on the judges.
Il think-I am anxious to do some
thing better, SIR" he SAID. slowly. But
l thought you'd forgotten all about me.
and didn't like to say anything, and
i have my uncle to support, Judge
Saunders"
II never forget face" said the
Judge. briskly, land you can earn mere
money in an Office 1 know of than you
ever can here I'll call to see your
uncle this afternoon, and have a talk
with him. Now you'd better go bacl'
to Mrs. Lapham and ease her mind.
I'm not sure that you wouldn't make
a good advocate" he added, with
grim smile Perhaps l shall be de-
frauding the law if l get you start
in business"
AS the boy turned to go he looked
up at the Lapham window. and his
grave young face broke into smile.
How glad she'll be, sir" he So q.
Il don't see how can thank you-for
her and for myself"
Look here!" said the judge. laying
his hand on the boys shoulder Listen
to me- Take seven. multiply by -four
divide by two. subtract five, add three
multiply by eleven, divide by four, add
two. divide by seven, multiply by six,
divide by ten-and what do you have?'
The judge had spoken as rapidly as
his tongue could move. but none too
fast for Sammy.
Three. SIR" came the instant reply,
delivered quietly, with shining eyes.
We'll call that thanks" said the
judge. calmly. 81 have three boys, aud
not one of them can add twelve and
thirteen without a pencil and paper
Good-by!"
, When Mrs. Lapham, crying softly
for joy, had been left behind, and a
whirlwind had fallen upon INCL,
Hiram Lane, and made clear to his
mind the mornings news, the lame
man set his lips for self-appointed
task.
SAM" he said, carefully, you de-
serve it all. and, Sam, your old uncle
is glad, Sam, and from this day on,
Providence permitting, l will never
call you Sammy again!"-Youth's
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
GREATER GLORY.

Brother Jack-It's no use! That's the
third time I've failed to pass my yearly
exams.
Sister Sue-There, Jack, don't worry /;
you're captain of the football team, first
baseman of the college nine. and the best
oar in the yacht club; that's better than
a sheepskin.-OMo State Journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
RELIC,

Above his head, as he worked, there
hung. in an elaborate frame, dollar
bill.
"a relic with history, I doubt not?"
observed the other.
eyes, the trophy of my really first
great financial victory" replied the man
of affairs. eft is the first dollar ever
escaped from summer hoteI With!
When asked if lie had had recourse
to a rope ladder, he merely laughed,
denying nothing.-Defroif Free Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
THE ANIMUS.

Mrs. Gossippe-How does it come
Mrs. Swagger invited you to her party?
l thought you were enemies.
Mrs. Snappem-We are, but she
thought l had another fit to wear and
wanted to make me feel bad.-Ohio State
Journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
HANDICAPPED BY CIRCUM-
STANCES

HE has told me he loved me-" said
the fair girl, con6dingly; but | don't
know whether to marry him or not"
Don't you think he tells the truth ?"
Il am sure he does his best to tell
the truth. But, you see, he works in
the weather bureau" -Woshingson Star.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
THE FIRST ESSENTIAL,

II wish l could learn how to shave
quickly" remarked the very young man.
First catch your hare" quoted his
friend.-Philddelphia Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
STUPENDOUs PROBLEMS.

Smith-What makes SO many people
crazy to get into society?
Brown-Well, what makes so many
other people crazy to keep them out?-
Detroit Free Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
|,Ak0RURARs
SR GS 49, O

lN>lNK3 ~ w. -
Among the sixty-nine new vessels
that are at present being built for the
French navy there are twenty-three
submarine boats.
The shallowest Of all seas IRE the
Baltic and the Adriatic. which aver
age only forty-three and forty Ave
yards depth respectively.
A fine head Of the Bosprimigenius
has been dredged up from the River
Cam. near Upware. in England. Be-
tween the horns. from point to point.
is a distance Of two feet and their
girth at the base IL fifteen inches.
The apple Is an excellent brain food.
because it has more phosphoric acid
in easily digested shape than other
fruits. 1t excites the action of the
liver. promotes sound and healthy
sleep and thoroughly disinfects the
mouth.
A plan for recording checks with a
Photographic apparatus controlled by
electricity has been successfully put
into operation In the National Bank Of
the Republic at Chicago. The ma
chine will take pictures Of 10000
checks in an hour. and with one load
ing will make pictures of 1900. A
roll of film 12O feet long is placed In
the receiving box, and the checks IRE
put automatically into transparent
holders. The pictures can be rolled
on reels and stored. 1t is claimed that
the instrument will perform the work
Of nine clerks.
A machine that will do the work Of
thirty expert mathematician is being
constructed by the Government in its
scientific instrument shop in Wash
ington. 1t is to be an improvement
on an instrument in use in the bureau
of the coast survey which has charge
of calculating the tides. The machine
now in use does wonderful things.
There is a little crank on the lower
left hand side. and at a simple turn of
that crank the machine will give the
answer to a problem involving nine
teen separate calculations. 1t works
out the complicated calculations of
tidal variations.
The new metals. polonium. radium
and actin;um are likely to be heard
of often in the next few years on ac-
count of their marvellous powers of
radiating electrified particles. AS mat
tiers stand at present, they appear to
have infinite power in this respect, radi-
ating energy ceaselessly without loss.
These metals are contained in the ores
of uranium, yanadium and thorium.
In pitchblende and in chalcolyte, car
hottie and antunite. NJ. and Nine.
Curie have separated these metals by
complex and costly processes that need
not be here described. Less than two
grains of radium result from every
ton Of mineral The radiating power
Of this metal Is one ten-millionth Of
watt and the displacement of the
metal is one milligram in a billion
years. When the dust of this metal
is present In the laboratory all the
apparatus present is electrified,
radioactive, In spite of or
binary insulation.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
LITERATURE.

The author had written himself down
an ass.
But is this literatureY protested
the other.
Il do not know, sirw replied the
author, respectfully. Il have reason
to suspect that it. is not For not only
are many publishers anxious to publish
it, but I have been offered vast sums
for the stage rights, as wellr'
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
ROUNDABOUT RESPONSE

Dorothy-Clara believes in fate, does
mt shef
Delia--Indeed she does; ii a man
proposed to her she'd send him her an
swer in a bottle thrown into the lake
and expect him to get it.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
upeET[M
.AIFrfjN*&X
'ssSex7s 1 7K3KS W
ODD.

"Any odd job?" the tramp inquired.
The housewife answered with nod.
Were you to do most any job" she
pleasantly observed, '"rwere odd r.
Detroit Free Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
SAFER AND AS SURE

Joe-If you have anything mean to
say about man say it to his face.
Billy-Oh, it will get around to him
almost as quick.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
SHOULD BE CONCENIAI,

II have not much luck with Miss
Edith-she's about as cold as the North
Pole"
so! shesld think you'd get on ia
mously then, for you're about as awk-
ward as polar bear."-Ncw York
Times.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
A Good as ANY.

whats your dogs name?"
Tip"
"Short for Tippecanoe?"
ooh, no. I just call him Tip be-
cause he's q pointer. philadelphia
Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
HER INSTALLATIONS

HER MISCONCEPTIONS.
"And so this is the end!" he exclaim-
cd bitterly.
WELL" she replied, "if you haven't
any more nerve than to give up right
at the start l suppose it'll have to be
the end. But thought you were more
of man."-Chieago Record Herald.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

With a population of only 10000
Manitoba equals in size the whole OF
Great Britain and ireland.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

In new work of antelopes there are
descriptions of 1873 species, about lao Of
which are African.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
SHE KNEW HIM.

Have you nothing to say to me, now
that l am leaving you forever?
Shc--Au revoir.-Detroit Free PYes&
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

A youth IS in love when he does not
wish other boys to make goo-goo eyes
at certain girl.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
HIS WIFE.

Miss Alma-When did you become ac-
quainted with your wife, doctor?
Doctor-After the wedding.-Heiters
Wen.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

Through Pullman Palace EIespsrs
hstvsen New Orleans and Memphis,
Kansas City, b. Louis and Chicago
without change. making direct sonnsc-
Mons With Arst-elass lines 70 al points
The great steel bridge spanning ths
Ohio river ct Cairo completed, and eli
trains freight and passenger now run.
oing regularly over il. tim avoiding the
Delays and annoyance incident TO trans
f. ~ ferry bsak
4. II. HANSON. Gen. T = Agk.
Chicago.
II. 4 00o47. =. ,. A.. M&aphis
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

The fellows who spout the most
poetry seldom make the tsst husbands.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

1t Is the rough cogs in the wheel that
make the clock of life reliable.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

The girl who plays the violin is sure
of at least one bow.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09
A1f.HDC0IIIH

y = New Orleans, La.
Il yeArs renowned az . lead.
or. No false promises made,
NO charlatanism practiced.
Over 100 Gold and Silver Med
ais, Diplomas etc., AWARDED
NJ BY American and European
EXP n tions. Comm efcial
Course includes Expert Ac-
counting and Auditing, and
y Guaranteed Higher and
9upexiof to any other In tho
south. We own our college
building and have unequalled
facilities and IN unexcelled
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

A fine head Of the Bosprimigenius
has been dredged up from the River
Cam. near Upware. in England. Be
tween the horns. from point to point,
is distance Of two feet and their
girth at the base IL fifteen inches.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

The shallowest Of all seas are the
Baltic and the Adriatic. which aver
age only forty-three and fOrty-fve
yards depth respectively.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

The apple is an excellent brain food,
because it has more phosphoric acid
in easily digested shape than other
fruits. 1t excltes the action of the
liver. promotes sound and healthy
sleep and thoroughly disinfects the
mouth.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

Among the sixty-nine new vessels
that are at present being built for the
French navy there are twenty-three
submarine boats.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-09

Il reckon I'll sell my salary this
month" remarked the young census
Woodruff County news., 1901-09-26
WHAT IS MAN?

WHAT IS MAN?
 Man is Q two-legged animal that chews tobacco and walks on the forl1ed end.
 Most men were born. We never heard of but one who wasn't, and he was made of mud
 just for a sample. Man is found in most parts of the world. He roams at will, feeds in the day time and sleeps at night some nights.
 He is very tame. You can go up to and put your hand on him anywhere. so as you don't put it on his pocketbook, he has under such conditions been known to kick.
 Mans life is full of disappoint- ments, peruna and cob pipes.
 He goes forth like a lion in the morning and leaves the wood for his wife to chop. In the evening sneaks home with his pants ripped and raises Cain about hard times.
 Man is like a dog howls a great deal and runs around at night.
 Like the elephant, he has a trunk, but he don't always take it with him the elephant does.
 Men are like nails in one re spect; in nine cases out of ten where either of them are crook ed, they have been driven to it by woman.
 Men are like chickens they always want to get on the high
Woodruff County news., 1901-09-26
4 ACfR@US---FN2Ll ] CUBES.
H canre to NYcC1ory smd Sias Gone Tie Shetland Pony, Dsus11, Gorhet
 Tent and All.

Instead of writing our circus up, we have concluded to write it down. Financially it may have been a success for a two-by- twice circus the rest of it was particularly otherwise. The aggregation was not expected to be the largest nor the best, but since Ralph Bingham and a few other entertainers of like built have been here, our people have a larger variety of notions of what a circus is and ought to be, and immediately upon the be- ginning of the Show proper, our most enthusiastic members be gan running the circus accord ing to their own caprice CT at least trying to-"
 Quite a number of people ar rived early to hear the grand band play. 1t was almost out-of- sight the drum and comet. It was most extraordinary band and they played g tune or two.
 From what we learn, most of the congregation went out to have time, filling up on spirits for the occasion" prior to going out, and it is hard matter to find anyone now who has the nerve to say they attended. The circus was rotten, the behavior of some of the attendants was worse. It is amazingly strange that men will so far give way to their animal propensities as to lose all self-respect, and carry on worse than q lot of hoodlums.
 One of our men took charge of
Woodruff County news., 1901-09-26

est roOst.
 No man will swear before a lady; he always lets her swear first.
 Little things sometimes worry a man most twins, for instance.
 Man may enjoy taking his sweetheart upon his knee, but after marriage he doesn't like the idea of being sat upon"
 Man fourishes like a sagweed today and tomorrow the under taker has him salted away in his ice box.
 Now, as to what man is really good for, anthropology is still in the dark. Being strong he is used to draw pictures. carry news and pull revolyers. Proper ly trained, man can jump higher than any known animal. He has even been known to jump noun tain resort board bills.
 Although in many ways man is like other animals, in this re spect he differs from them all; He lies while standing up.-Ex
Woodruff County news., 1901-09-26
r1cCRORY COTTON co.

On the contrary, here is anOth- CT picture-a northern city en fete. The crowds are made up of the trusted upper tendon of an older and more conservative civilization. Across the border are the staunch Englishmen of North America. In that cline we would not expect assassina- tion to stalk abroad, offering with one hand the grasp of a friend, concealing with the other the weapon of a murderer. And yet the world knows what happened. The president is safer in Texas
 than he is in New York. The
 great cities seem to be the spawning beds of anarchy. Men who plot 1oains1 the president, who desire to overthrow the greatest government that the
 world ever saw, do not seek the hostile cline of the south. They brood and breed in Detroit, in Cleveland, in Toledo, in Patter-
 son, in Buffalo. After all the home of genuine Americanism seems to be the south-some- times derisively called the solid south, the home of slavery and secession. " The men who slew
 Lincoln and Garfield were not southerners. Thank God for that! Savannah Press.
Woodruff County news., 1901-09-26

the G2bts, and every time he thought darkness should reign he would press the button and the lights went out. Another one had charge of the "down-in- front" act, and he was quite of ten heard to chirp, Sit down, we will now have a dance by the French girl" So bad did some of the boys" get (some of these little fellows were on the shady side of sixty) that the lady-in- chief of the circus threatened to do violence to someone. While she went after the murderouS winchester, the boys went iii various direction la Pegasus. She told them to get out or she'd knock 'em down; and everyone got out sooner than immediately, for the shCw-woman had blood in her eyes and a club in her right mitt.
 The show people fiatly refused to admit that a cyclone had struck the whole show, and the fact that a license was wanted before the show should begin; and the fact that their great shetland pony was attached inn mediately upon striking this town, did not undaunt these showpeople in the least. It was certainly a great show, and well worth the money. From here they left for Grays where anoth- CT "rousing time" was no doubt had.