davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The free press. (Southern Pines, N.C.) 1898-19??, 1901-01-18

is among those people who like Sgd
ney Smith S Scotchman, can only get
a Joke in their heads by the aid OF an
auger and bit.
Humor keeps the soul awake. We
may imagine the surprise OF the soul
of some old Sir Crusty over whom hui
NOR has suddenly waved its wand, as
it comes forth from it's sleep like g dor
mant animal reused by the thunders
of spring.
Humor is an open sesame to all elf
cles and classes of society. 1t is the
universal pass word of mankind Its
due guard if the word "resorius, y be-
cause that is the name of the muscle
by which we laugh.
Laugh and the world laughs with you
Weep and you weep alone,
For the sad old earth must borrow its
mirth,
But has trouble enough Of its own. !"
Humor does not mean buffocnery nor
coars e raillery; neither does it mean
wit, because wit sometimes wounds
but humor never. Hu1nor resembles
mercy. cit cometll like the gentle
rain from heaven upon the place be
meath; it is twice blest; it blesses him
that gives and him that takes. >
Humcr begets cheerfulness and cheer
fulness is next to Goodness.
The Christian with solnbre mein
and melancholy visage has failed to
grasp the first principles of Christi
anity
\ person S age is not measured by
the almanac, as Holmes says: Better
be seventy years young than forty
years old. y
Humor is mental dynamite that
often breaks through the crust Of OPP
position or of reserve in order that
argument and logic may follow.
Laugh and grow fat Humor oils
the machinery of Digestion. Humor
and health clasp hands across the
dinner table.
Humor is the mouth piece Of nature.
Nature is typifed in child and
child is nearly always smiling A
chip laughs as a bird sings, just for
the very Joy of living. Even when
come tears they mingle with smiles;
the storm clouds are pierced by the
rays Of laughter's sun, and through
falling tears like glistening dew drops
we see that glorious rainbow of the
soul.
Humor's guide is the golden rule
Smile unto others as you would have
them smile unto you.
Humor never wastes a shot. A
word is never lost. Some
where, sometime, somehow comes its
reward.
Humor is not an exotic plant. It
offers its service as freely to the peas
ant as the king. Even physical in
drmities do not limit it, aud the most
hopeless afflicted may battle in it's
-efulgent rays
Humor is the infallible exercise of
blue devils. They are cast out and
to the pit OF oblivion.
Humor S ways are ways of pleasant
less, and all its paths are peace. The
seeds of envy and discord cannot
thrive in humor's soil.
Humor is the great peacemaker Of
he world. In its presence wrath dies
md resentment fades away.
Hunor is the fount from which
lows the waters Of eternal y, nth Nor
S it ever far away. Like the ship
wrecked crew drifting for days, driven
W thirst to dip their buckets in the
'rine, they found fresh water all
round.
Humor is an idea1ist and it's ideals
re always high. To smooth the
brow of worry, lift man
rom the slough of his own despon-
ent thoughts, force him out of the
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
AN ODD MEXICAN SPORT.
TAPaatalas Pittea Against Ons An
other by the Youths Battle
TO the Death

The Mexican boys in Lower Califor-
MIA" said a returned traveller, relates
the Detroit Free Press. have a curious
habit of catching the tarantulas. with
which the country abounds, and match
ing them in deadly combat, betting
their centavos with all the enthusiasm
o, gambler a, Monte Carlo.
1T was my fortune 10 witness one
of these combats and. while l would
not care to adopt the sport as a regu-
lar thing. found the experience inter
e.ting as an Illustration of a curious
custom.
The deadly arena was composed Of
a large tin pan. the faring sides Of
which held the combstants prisoners
and yet allowed them plenty of room
TO fight in When the hideous-lookinz
things were thrown in the pan they
eyed each other for moment and
then clutched like couple OF tigers,
while the Mexican youth. yelled words
Of encouragement 20 their favorite..
Prom the comments that heard ]
took ii that there were fine points TO
the game that I did not understand.
All I saw was horrible, hairy ball
from which proiruded in all directions
q number of hairy legs that suddenly
grew still, as death claimed the VIC
timsn
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
A MAN OF METAL.
Heavy Load Of shot Under
meath His Skin.

The Iron Chancellor" has disap
peared. says the Westminster Ga
Zette, but there is still Teuton very
much alive who is "a man of iron"
in an almost literal sense of the
term. This came out few days
ago when a young German porter
Dragged at public house that he
was man of iron, since a sports
man had discharged at least 90 grains
of shot into his back. He would have
nothing TO do with surgeons. where
fore his brother had removed about
half of the load" By the simple ex-
pedient of cutting the shots ont with
a knife. The story was presently
brought before the authorities, and
the porter was medically examined,
with the result that his story proved
absolutely true. His back and arms
were "larded" with lead balls, which
he carried about without any dis
comfort whatever. The reason for
his reluctance to approach a surgeon
seems to have been that the sports.
man who had thus marked him was
. gamekeeper. and it was while he
was on a poaching expedition that i'll
luck thus befeli him.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
THE AMERIND.
There H.s Been en Attempt 20 Give
New NAas 60 Our
A6oeAGiAss.

AN amsrind is not, as anyone might
be excused for surmising, an East In
dian date in . thin shell. That Is a
tamarind. An amerind is not fruit
at all. 1t is name invented by the
Anthropologieal society in Washing
ton, aud intended AZ a substitute for
American Indian. A writer, NJ Dellen-
baugh, who has published book about
"The North Americans of Yesterday"
is denounced by reviewer Of the
Evening Post because all through his
book he speaks of Indians as amer
inds. says f. S. Martin, in Harper's
Weekly. The Posts reviewer thinks
he ought TO be ashamed, and there
seems to be due basis for that opinion.
A got-up name like amerind may do
for ranthropologists, but il cannot hope
TO pass current among real people. IL
there is objection TO calling our abor-
igineS Indians because il has turned
out that they don't live in India. the
simplest remedy is 10 call them iniuns.
There is no ambiguity about injun.
Everyone knows that /; is American
and not Asiatic. Moreover, it is a
word that has come up from the plain
people. and sach a word. as We all
know. has a far better chance to sur
~ve than any remedial epithst that is
thought out and launched by the
learned.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

In the summary removal Of Governor
jenkins Of Oklahoma President Roose-
welt has Set the nltion good example
jenkins fault lay in his stipulation With
contractors for territorial supplies that
they should sell his friends som. stock in
the company with which he made the
Contract. He convicted himself by his
own statement Of the facts in the case
and exhibited, to say the least, very
dense appreciation OF the proper reIa-
tons between officials and contractors.
In Boulder county the clerk of the dis
trlct court contracts With his own news
paper for supplies. That is to say, Leo
Vincent, clerk, buys for the county from
Leo Vincent. publisher. He may be
said in this respect to lack appreciation
cf the proper relations which should ex
ist between an official and the furnisher
Of supplies.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

Great CONSERVATISM was felt by the
friends of NJ. A. Hogarty OF Lexington,
KY, when they saw he was turning yel-
low. His skin slowly changed color, also
his eyes, and he suffered terribly. HIS
malady was Yellow Jaundice. He was
treated by the best doctors, but without
benefit. Then he was advised to try
Electric Bitters, the wonderful Stomach
and Liver remedy, and he writes: "Af-
ter taking two bottles was wholly cur
ed" A trial proves its mstehless merit
for all Stomach, Liver and Kidney tFou-
bles. Only SOC. Sold by w. w. Potter
& Co., druggist.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
Abou, the rea.syivan,. Lines

The verdict given by the general pub.
lie that the Pennsylvania system offers
the mos, comfortable and quickest service
from Chicago to P,usburg. Philadelphia.
Baltimore. Washington and New York,
is undispu,ed by thousands OF patrons
who have used these lines. The dinir 6
service is unsurpassed. The scenery
through which the road runs is the mos,
beautiful OF which the east Can boist. the
famous Horse Shoe Curve alone beis Z
one OF the rares, sights to a visitor from
the western states. The traveller is
guarded on all side, by experienced en-
ployes and no pains are spared to make
the journey one OF ease and safety.
II you contemplate journey 10 the
east full information may be obtained b,
addressing H. X. Derins, A. G. P. A
No. 2.6, South Clark street. Chicago.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
THE DooDIEsAcK.
n. He..y l..t,~ue.t Has Lived ana
Spread In Spite Of Its Mu-
eloal DenouncePa.

A writer in the Athenaeum asserts
that bagpips music has suffered
greatly through the efforts of we'll
meaning but mistaken people to lift
it out of its proper place and graft
1t on to city life and its inside enter
tainments." To compare it's music
with classical productions" is 'hke
comparing 'taties and herring with
wine jellies" A Chicago jury once de-
cided that ths bagpipe was not mu-
sical instrument at all. But why quar-
rel with . definition? Enough that
it has lived through some bad crises.
When that phase of life in which it was
born and brought up passed away, it
declined to be moved into the back
ground. In short, 1t had the will 10
live without the adventitious aids OF
cranks and Of congresses. because it
answers . primitive want. Indeed.
nothing could be more ironic than the
fact that the military organization
which did much to crush out every
thing that had made it a power should
have been 80 completely conquered by
II that there are now two-and-twsnty
pipe bands in the British army. The
bagpipe has been annexed by some of
the native Indian regiments, notably
those in the Punjab. and it continues
to spread there as great military
instrument.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
Saves Two From Death

"Our little daughter had an almost fa-
tai attack of whooping cough and bron.
chitis," writes Mrs. w. K. Haviland oi
Armonk, N. Y, "but when all other
remedies failed, we saved her Efe with
DR.. Kings New Discovery. Our niece
who had CONSUMPTION in IN advanced
stage, also used this wonderful medicine
and today abe is perfectly we'll" Des.
perate throat and lung diseases yield to
Dr. Kings New Discovery as to no 9th.
@ medicine ON earth. Infallible foI
Coughs and Colds. Soc and SLIGO bot
ties guaranteed by W. w. Potter I Co
Trial bottles free.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

The man who can hardly crawl, and
has just strength to get through days
work. has no strength left for family
Life. He wants to be quiet to be alone,
ont Of sight and sound of everybody.
Whit . difference between such .
man and the healthy, hearty man, who
romps with his children and rides his
laughing baby to cBanbury Cross"
What makes the differencel Usually
disease of the stomach, involving the
entire digestive and nutritive system.
Dr.. Herce's Golden Medical Discovery
cures diseases of the stomach and other
organs of digestion and nutrition. When
these diseases are cured the hindrance to
the proper nourishment Of the body is
removed and strength comes back again.
.. =" s,ppy ''y an eating ,s tss' s., Ss Ws
Division street. Chicago, Ill. .In ali I have
taken six bottles of Golden Medical Discovery
and four or Eve vials Of the little Pellets They
have done rue worlds Of good. These medi-
cines have brought the great change in me
ffon SLOW NOPE of man that could hardly
NO work, Nov can work. sleep, eat, and feel
6le, and mat tired feeling Is all going away. I
m very thankful that / wrote to DR.. Pierce.
Hh Golden Medical Discovery and his little
me. 1 feel young l did at thirty years No
other doctor for me, only Or. Pierce."
Dr.. Herce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser, in paper covers, is sent free on
receipt of Al one-eent stamps to pay
expense Of mailing only. Address Or.
R v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

The Greeley Republican comes TO the
center and relieves the mono.ony ty q
suggestion. In short, it nominates ex
Senator ]. w. McCreery of Greeley for
the Republican candidacy for congress.
In point of ability Mr. Mccreeiy's right
to be candidate for Homes, John Shat
roth's shoes can no, be disputed, but We
incline 10 the belief that the people Of
this congressional district gill feel like
Initiating certain Republican policy
and "let well enough alone"
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
SAVED HIS LIFE.

81 wish to say that feel owe my life
to Kodol Dyspepsia Cure" writes II. (.
Christensen of Ha,fsld MINI. For
three years was troubled with dyspep
sia so that could hold nothing on my
s.om ach, Many times would be unable
to retain morsel Of food. Finally |
vas confined to my bed. Doctors said |
could not live. read one Of your ad
ver,isements on Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
and though, i, f, my case and commenc
ed its use. began to improve from the
first bottle. Now am cured and rec
ommend it to ALL" Diges,s your food
Cures all stomach troubles. Gilbert
Bros.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
THE FRATERNAL UNION

Of America Is a national fraternal social
and benefit order. 1t combines the
mos, equitable features providing for &C.
cident, total disability. old age and deatk
benefits. The Fra.ernal Union creates
a maturity Of Reserve fund which guar.
antees its permanency Tor all time to
come. Women are admitted on equal
terms with men. II has strong loca!
branch in Boulder and has paid benefits
in Boulder to the amou I Of S3i2 in one
case. Mr. Keeler. agent Of the Pacific
express company. is secretary Of the
local order and X. c. Patterson is fra
ternal master. The head Office OF the
Union is in Denver, Colo. References
Central Savings bank. Denver and
Pueblo National bank.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
HEALTH AND BEAUTY.

Aroer complexion is usually the re-
suit of 4 torpid liver or irregular action
a the bowels. Unless natures refuse 10
carried CT It will surely cause impure
hapod. Pimple., boiis and other er
r.o,iops follo~. This Is natures method
q thsovicg ca the poisons which the
hovels failed to remove. DeWitts
rit,le Easiy RIsess are world lannon's for
eenedyins this condition. They s''mn
I..e he liver aud promote regular and
be,I,hy action Of the bowels but never
casse gyipiag cramps or distress S
psiis. Gilbert Bros.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
key Stevens and Archie Stevenson

Ikey Stevens and Archie Stevenson
both are flying to Washington in separ
a:e trains on a mission with the presi
dent which will test the strength OF the
respective clans of Republicanism this
state Commissions fer federal Office,
are expiring rapidly and the president
will hay. to choose his boss CT divide
the pa,Ionage. The fight is growing
more bitter every day. "Steyey" has the
% ,chine. however, and We cln't imagine
seeing "S,evey" let 60.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

DON'T think because you have taken
many remedies in vain that your case
Is incuable. Hoods Sarsaparilla has
cured many seemingly hopeless cases of
scrofula, catarrh, rheumatism, kidney
eonpaint, dyspepsia and general debili-
ty. Take Hoods.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

When, where and how to obtain pur.
liquors without having to pay three prices
for it is eading question. Listen to u.s.
In the first place. be sure It Is not Sun.
day, then walk straight-way 10 Carba'
rinos,
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
OF BENEFIT TO ycu.

d. S. Mitchell, FuIiord Md: "Durirg .
long illness Eas troubled With bed sores
was aevisedss try DeWi.t's Witch Hazel
Salve and did':o with wonderful results
was perfectly cured. 1t Is the bes,
salve ON the market" Sure cure for
piles. sores. burns Beware Of counter
ieits. Gilbert Bros.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

December 9Th is the date Of the grand
military bali At the armory. Co. H will
have many prominent guests from Den
yer and elsewhere. 75 II
Daily camera., 1901-12-02

Use Prof. Fields worm powders. A
single trial proves their worth.
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
Whit. Nan 1urn ned Yellow.

The Camera Is the best daily In Boulder
County Only SOC month
Daily camera., 1901-12-02
BUTSCH, L. C. PADDOCK
o3lC I ~ eu q veetb ITblR
CAMERAS PHONE No. SO
1RlAs-ISc. per week; soc. per month
- eanies. $500 per year when paid In
s6yaaee.
Advertising Rates uPoc application.
Entered At the Possofice as Boulder
Colombo, ~ second-clAss matter.
TIM Z CAR ..
COLO. & SOUTHERN,

sD( Arrives, 8:IS .. N
nv - '0' Departs, $40 4. m
Arrives 4'I7p.m m
w. ~ ''s Departs, 4:77 p. III
D{ Arrives o:o \. &c
NO. 1A' h"n ~ Departs o:B 4. n.
Arrives $50 p. N.
w. y Ito" Departs 5:55 p. q
DENVER-BOULD SPECIAL
ARRIvRs DkPARIS
1850 p n 1885 N
UP.
AlRIvRs DRPARf5
7:3o :. N. 1918 p. N
COLORADO r NORTHWESTERS
"rHE swIrzERLAND TRAIL.
NOS Nos No; Nos
Daily Daily Daily paiiv
Al. Pm. Via A. NJ P n
SO 40 Lv c Denver Ar sas 54'
80 800 Lv & Boulder Ar $40 S5'
1900 $50 Ar Ward Lv SD l'p
The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-04-27

q. T. APRIL p, 1901
The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-04-27

Governor Dole begrudges and re-
fuses the Legislature the not more
than thirty days of extension provid-
ed for by Congress. He imagines that
he can control a special session
through his dictum as to what bust
ness shall thereat be considered. The
Governor will probably find that he
is making one of the greatest mistakes
of his life, both as to economy of
time and expense and with regard to
the welfare of the public services.
The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-04-27

section. the motion to strike ont the
obu0xions section was sustained.
Sections 80 ard 81 imposing = tar
q four per cent or all COMMON car
Tfers. and al wsfervorks. telegraph.
telephone. gas. light, electric light
and other lighting corporations. pass
Sd
Section %. imposing q tax Of txS
per cent on all rents collected On leas-
ed or rented real estate. after 3 great
deal Of discussion. was stricken ont
Section 50. giving the assessor full
power 70 tx an assessment in case he
IS deferred from having free access
TO al books. accounts. files, records,
etc, passed.
At this juncture some Of the mem
bers were seen TO be fdgeting around
in their chairs and Kawaihoa finally
moved to adjourn, which was declared
carried by the Speaker.
Emmeluth questioned the vote. but
the chairs decision was sustained
The bill thus dies a natural death.
as the time is too short for any meas
IRE 10 be passed on both second and
third reading in time to reach the Gov
ernor before the end OF the session
Monsarrat was quite wrothy on &C
count OF the adjournment. as it pre-
vented him from presenting the fol
loving resolution:
Whereas, the special appropriation
Of $4,000 appropriated for expenses
Of the Legislature has been expended
leaving an x Ray balance of thirty
cents; and
Whereas, the government is short
Of funds IN the Treasury. IL in no 9th
er place. and
Whereas, the Organic Act provides
5000 compensation for each and ev
cry member of the Legislature fol-
/ the special session. therefore.
Be it Resolved. that the members
Of the House Of Representatives Of
the First Legislature of the Territory
OF Hawaii. do herebv agree to con
tribute their massive brain. skill. labor
and services free Of compensation dur
| ing the special session.
/ Adjourned at Gas.
The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-04-27

upon the opposition displayed BY =
majority Of the whole body to the sd-
nInistrztfon- Do they not remember
that Mr.. Dole's administration had 30
traverse an almost equally rocky read
in the legislative sessions under the
Republicg How often were pet presi-
Dental and ministerial policies not
eschevec By the thea assembled wis
DOM That. too. q Legislature elected
By all the safeguards for the main
tenance and perpetuation Of executive
power which Mr.. Dole could crowd n
to a constitution Of his own making
The Governor Jared still worse. along
with his advisers. In that remarkable
body known as the Council OF State,
whose personnel was designed 10 be
the double-dIstiIled essence Of the ad-
ministration's most trusted following
Do not these facts, taken in connee-
ton with the present complaint, n
dictate that opposition TO the Gov
errors methods Of administration Is
What to be expected from any delib
erative body essaying. legitimately o.
otherwise. to represent the interests
Of the people?
The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-04-27
The SONG OF The DRUMS.

We are naught but little brass kettle
With q tight little cover at top
Just circle of sheepskin and metal
And a pair of quick drumsticks a
hop
And we make quite the poorest Of
music,
Just a rythmical rattle and hum;
Yet there's never a stave
In the heart of the brave
But resounds to the beat of the drum.
There's witchcraft concealed in our
hollow;
There's a mystery hid in our round;
For we beat, and men cannot but fol-
low.
Keeping time with their feet on the
ground,
With dream and a glamor Of glory,
Like wave of the ocean it comes
AS we sing and we say,
Come away, Come away,
Follow me, Follow mel" say the
drums.
We tap and we hum and we mutter:
We throb TO the scream of the fife,
Anu DIT every NIUE ludL We utlCl
The scarlet blood leaps into life;
We roll and we crash and we thunder,
Like the roar ere the Avalanche
comes;
And there's many lad.
So gallant and glad.
Who's been caught by the song of
the drums.
When we rattle lively chorus
To the long shining column a-wind.
With the cavalry Waiting before US.
And the foot doing two-step behind.
As we pass through the streets Of the
city,
Not heart to our music but thrums
And for all the long way
Not a horse in dray
But will lance to the time of the
drums.
When the guns are numbered for
action,
And the men for the slaughter a.
chafe,
Yet the hell must attend for frac-
ton,
Till the drummers are slowed away
safe;
Though the ranks may be Keeling and
broken.
When the charge like thunderclap
comes:
Though the roads may be red
And the officers dead.
You can run to the tune of the
drums.
BERTRAND SHADWELL.
Chicago Record.
The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-04-27

is the best and we can satisfy ever
requirement as to quality and prie'