St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1901-01-16
Requests of the Ninteenth Century.

l, the nineteenth Century, about to die
of old age, and being OF sound mind and
memory, do make and ordain this to be
nv last will and testament:
IL give and bequeath to my success
sor, the Twentieth Century, all the steam
engines and telegraphs and telephones
and electrical apparatus and steam
presses and reaping machines, and all
other useful inventions that have made,
and all my wonderful scientific discov-
cries, for the use and benefit OF my son
and heir, the aforesaid century.
Ill give and bequeath all the valu-
able and instructive books that | have
written, to be widely scattered and care
fully read; but all corruptIng, mischeiv
Gus, and obscene publications and pict-
ures inspired by Satan, l order to be de-
stroyed by the Society for the Prevention
of Vice.
I'LL give and bequeath free and
honest ballot box for the protection of
liberty and popular rights, and the secur-
ity OF public order; but all those detest-
able contrivances known as political ma
chimes, invented and managed by bosses
for the enrichment OF themselves and their
"heelers," order to be burned, and the
Civil Service Reform Bureau will execute
this mandate at the earliest possible date.
W. commit and intrust to the United
States of America all those people known
as negro freedmen" whom have eman-
cipated by the hand of my favorite son,
Abraham Lincoln, and | direct that all
their rights be carefully guarded, and all
that1- cI,1Irat, al, tod Good
and fitted for self-maintenance. Likewise
| intrust to the said United States of Am
erica all the surviving Indians and the in
habitants of newly acquired possessions.
VI also bequeath to MY heir, the
Twentieth Century, all the missionary
societies, and numerous benevolent asso-
Citations to whom have given birth. and
all the asylums and homes and hospitals,
and other charitable institutions, that
have built for the reliefof honest sufferers
and the Encouragement of idlers and i'm
posters.
| VII also bequeath to the new CEN
turv an immense assortment of Krupp
guns and Mauser rifles and machine guns
that have been produced in my lifetime for
the rapid destruction of human life, and
all other death-dealing contrivances, and
l direct that the earliest possible day
they be either sold for old iron or turned
into plowshares and other useful nstru-
ments; this work intrust to the Arbit-
ration League of Civilized Nations which
l recently organized at The Hague.
WILL give and bequeath to the Amer
lean people glorious Federal Union, con-
solidated and strengthened, and enshrined
in the hearts of the nation; the sixteen
states at the time of my birth increased
to forty-fve; the national area extended
from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and the
the United States become the wealthiest
nation on the globe.
V1II.-Finally, give and bequeath to
my son and heir that priceless revelation
from heaven known as tie Bible, with its
exhibition of divine love in the person OF
Jesus Christ, its wise precepts and its
adaptation to all peoples on the face of
the whole globe. l exhort that it be
spread and be read everywhere, so that
the Twentieth Century be wiser and
purer and stronger and grander than all
its nineteen ancestors.
AS executors of this my last will and
testament appoint all Christian churches
and ministers, all conductors of a fearless
and truthful press, all faithful parents, all
righteous rulers, all lovers of humanity,
and all who practice the Golden Rule.
Done under my hand and SEAL on this
thirty-first day OF December, 1900.
XIX.
/ Rev. Theodore L. Cuyler in Leslie's
| Weekly.