davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
The Height of the Table.

There was a certain Major Y. who
had for some years enjoyed the reputa-
ton Of being one of the widest men in
India. Making a call ON one occasion
on a mess, he found Captain H., whom
he wanted, out, but the mess waiter as
sured him that the latter would soon
return, wherefore he waited in the an
teroom.
A few minutes later the mess SER
geant happening to pass the window,
noticed to his surprise that Major X.
had passed into the messroom beyond
and was applying a tape measure to
the mess table Naturally considering
this an odd proceeding, he mentioned
it later on in the day to Captain T., who
took counsel and then begged favor
of the colonel, which was to allow an
inch to be sawed off the table legs. In
due course Major X. was invited to din
ner, and the mess was there to man.
As was expected, during dessert he
contrived to lead the conversation on to
guessing heights, and from that to of
fering TO bet on the present mahogany
was but a step. They took him on, from
colonel down to the youngest sub. Even
the chaplain could not resist the temp
tation to chastise the sunrighteouS and
ventured his mite. The challenger bet
first, just an eighth of an inch beyond
the old height, and then the mess, in TO-
tation, guessed exactly the same, and
all guessed exactly right. He was done
ompletely.-London Free Lance.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Lesson In PoIIteness.

The Philadelphia Record says that q
railroad contractor who recently re-
turned from abroad tells of an expert
ence that befell him in Munich illustra.
tive of the difference in prevailing Gus
toms. Armed with number of letters
of Introduction to European railroad
officials, he made it point to inquire
into the workings of the various sys-
tens and was treated with uniform
courtesy.
At Munich he thought he had acquir-
ed all the information he was after,
and as he passed out of the office of the
man with whom he had been talking
he put on his hat. He had scarcely
been ushered out when it occurred to
him that there was one matter about
which he had forgotten to inquire.
81 Immediately retraced my steps,"
said the Philadelphia, land again en-
tered the office, neglecting to remove
my hat. l saw the same official with
whom 1 had been talking, and, apollo
giving for taking up so much Of his
time, put the question to him. With
out word he reached up, took off my
hat and placed it in my hand. Then he
answered my query and bowed me out.
1t made me feel rather cheap"
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Fully Explained to John.

"John," she said as she toyed with
one of his coat buttons, this is leap
year, is it not"
Eyes, Mamie" he answered as he
looked fondly down on her golden head
that was pillowed on his manly bosom.
"This is the year when the proposing
is done by the young ladies?"
YES"
81 hope you don't expect ME to pro-
pose to your
''Why, Mamie, dear, never gave the
matter a thought. I-er-to tell the
truth, I've only known you for-that is
to say
''Im glad you didn't expect me to
propose. Pm not that kind, 1 hope. No,
John, dearest, L couldn't be so immod-
est. I'm going to let you do the pro-
posing yourself in the old fashioned
way. The old fashioned way is good
enough for me-" And the gentle maid
en- gave her lover beaming smile, and
the young man rejoiced that he had
found such treasure of moGesty.-
London Tit-Bits.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
English Ideas of Lynching.

At recent dinner in London the
conversation turned ON the subject of
lynchings in the United States. 1t was
the general opinion that a rope was
the chief end of man in America.
Finally the hostess turned to ansAmer-
lean, who had taken no part in the
conversation, and said:
"You, sir, must have often seen these
affairs"
Yes" he replied, 1--WE take a kind
of municipal pride in seeing which city
can show the greatest number of
iynchings yearly"
"Oh, do tell US about lynching you
have seen YOURSELF" broke in half a
dozen voices at once.
THE night before l sailed for Eng
land" said the American, 81 was CIV
lpg dinner to a party of intimate
friends when q colored waiter spilled a
plate of soup over the gown of a lady
at an adjoining table. The gown was
utterly ruined, and the gentlemen of
her party at once seized the waiter,
lied q rope around his neck and, at
signal from the injured lady, swung
him into the air."
"Horriblep' said the hostess, with a
shudder. "And did you actually see
this yourself?"
"Well, no." said the American apollo
getically. Gust at that time l was
down stairs killing the chef for putting
mustard in the blancmange."- Modern
Society.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Sold at Last.

A travelling man who Is absent from
the city about go days on each trip
carried pair of shoes 70 a German
shoemaker to be half soled before leav-
ing on a tour through the country
towns. The shoemaker was accustom-
ed to selling articles left with him for
repairs if not called for in 80 days,
The drummer stated to the shoemaker
he would be absent from the city for
at least GO days and would not leave
the shoes to be repaired unless he was
assured that they would not be sold.
The travellers trip was prolonged to
90 days. When he returned, he went
Immediately to the shoemaker for his
shoes.
The shoemaker's inability to distin-
guish between have and half came
near resulting in his receiving thrash
ing.
"Have you sold my shoesp asked
the drummer.
'Ya, hat soled them" replied the
shoemaker.
what in blazes did you do that
for?" yelled the traveller.
you told me for to do it,
And then the drummer engaged in a
bit Of shocking profanity and threat
ened to clean up the ranch.-Memphis
Scimitar.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
none of HI. business.

While waiting for the train the bride
and bridegroom walked slowly DIP and
down the platform.
81 don't know what this joking and
guying may have been to you" he
remarked, "but it's death to me. I
never experienced such an ordeal
cts perfectly dreadful" she an
swered. 81 shall be so glad when We
get away from everybody we know"
They're actually impertinent," he
went on. why, the very natives"-
At this unpropitious moment the
wheezy old station master walked I'D
to them.
"Be you goin to take this train?" he
asked.
Its none of your businessr' retorted
the bridegroom Indignantly as he guild
ed the bride up the platform, where
they condoled with each other over the
impertinence of the natives.
Onward came the train, its vapor
curling from afar. 1t was the last to
their destination that day, an express.
Nearer, nearer it came at full speed.
Then in moment 1t whizzed past and
was gone.
why in thunder didn't that train
stop?" yelled the bridegroom.
Cos you sed 'twarn't none of my
bizness. 1 has to signal if that trains
to stop"
And as the old station master softly
stroked his beard there was a wicked
twinkle in his eye.-London Spare Mo-
ments.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
His After Dinner Speech.

There is no field of mental effort in
which success in it's most fattering
form may be won quicker than on the
after dinner platform. The man who
can amuSe and instruct such an audi
ence, for instance, as that which as
sembles each year at the New England
society dinner, perhaps the most crit
zeal in New York, may awake to find
himself famous. A few hours before
Henry W. Grady of Atlanta was to
speak at the New England society's
dinner in 1856 a correspondent of a
southern newspaper asked him what
he would say, and he replied
THE Lord only knows. | have
thought of 1000 things to say, 500 Of
which if l say they will murder me
when get back home, and if say the
other 500 they will murder me at the
banquet"
The ovation which the young, smooth
faced sOutherner, almost unknown in
New York, received at the dinner that
night when the last ringing sentence
of his speech had been spoken never
has been egSaled on a similar occa-
sion, and his fellow citizens at home
stood for hours in the rain in crowds
waiting to greet him on his arrival as
the spokesman of the new south. His
progress from a local to a national
reputation had been made in a bound.
-Ainslee's Magazine.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Fattening English Quails.

A curious account of how quails are
fattened for the market is given in a
London paper. I, appears that quails,
being regular in their habits, always
feed directly they wake up in the
morning. They are therefore put in a
large cellar lit only by electric light. In
the dark they go to sleep, but directly
the light is turned on they wake up and
breakfast. This process is repeated time
after time, and the birds, always labor
ing under the delusion that morning
has arrived, once more breakfast, over
and over again. They have been known
to do so six times in an afternoon
Philadelphia Record.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
His Hair stood ON End.

up to five years ago." said pros.
pector to st. Louis Republic reporter,
Il didn't believe in such a thing as a
mans hair standing on end" And
then the old gentleman told the story
of the fright that led him to change
his mind:
Il was i'll the mountains of Idaho
with a friend, and we ran short of
fresh meat, so one day 1 took my gun
and started off alone. 1 went into a
ravine and was making my way along
a little brook when 1 came suddenly
upon a queer sight. Not four feet in
front of me, in the full blaze of the
sun, lay four mountain lions asleep.
'For half a minute 1 thought them
dead, but as l stood staring at them,
with my heart in my mouth, every one
of them sprank up with a growl. And
they faced around at me, looking ugly,
shifting the air, with their whiskers
drawn back, showing the white line
of their teeth, switching their tails
and looking like demons.
t-'1As for me-, 1 stood rooted to the
spot. l couldn't move from sheer fright.
A queer, numb sensation began in my
ankles and crept up my body, and
literally felt my hair rise.
81 stood there motionless for several
minutes. Then one of the beasts drop
ped his tail and whined. The others
followed his example. My presence
mystified them. A few seconds later
they turned about and crept away
down the ravine,' looking back STEALTH
ly two or three times to see me.
when they were out of sight, l be-
gan to breathe again. l didn't care to
hunt any more that day and made for
the camp at top speed. That was the
time my hair stood on end, and my
scalp was sore to the touch for week
afterward."
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

IT suppose" said the barber to the
man who was wearing a bears claw
on his watch chain-"I suppose you
killed that bear yourself?"
eyes, did, was the reply.
"Was it grizzly bear?
at was"
ga big one?''
"About the size of 2-year-old steer"
"Gee whiz! How many bullets did it
take to kill him?''
"Not any at ALL"
'Brain him with an ax?"
mo; talked him to death"
1t took the customer Is minutes to
get the rest of his shave, and during
that time the barber didn't speak an
other word.-Exchange
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
A County Agent Wanted

For the wonderful ''Tessla' Welsbach
Kerosene Lamp, the only lamp in ex-
istence which gives a full 100 candle
power light, as brilliant as Welsbach
gas burner, at cost of II cents per
The oil usednight. in this lamp is
ordinary kerosene or petroleum.
Agents are coming money with this
light, as it surpasses anything ever
brought before the public. For
further particulars enclose &c stamp
and address TESLA Kerosene Lamp Co.,
239 Kearny St., San Francisco.
9-7-1 mo,
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Two Narrow Irish Escapes.

An Irishman, seeing a vessel very
heavily laden and scarcely above the
waters edge, exclaimed, Upon my
sowl, if the river was but little high
er the ship would go to the bottom!'
'See thereY' exclaimed the returned
Irish soldier to the gaping crowd as he
exhibited with some pride his tall hat
with bullet hole in it. LOOK at that
hole, will you? Ye see, if it had been a
low crowned hat / should have been
killed outright"
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Bunching the Hits.

Case and Comment tells a story Of an
Illinois attorney who argued to the
court one after another of a series of
very weak points, none of which SEEM
ed to the court to have any merit until
the court finally said, 'Mr. -, do you
think there is anything in these
points," To which the attorney re-
piled, ''Well, judge, perhaps there isn't
much in any one of them alone, but I
didn't know but your honor would kind
of bunch them.'
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Roof. and chimnexr.

There is no doubt but the form Of q
chimney. The fiat roof offers no resist
ance to the passage Of air. but as the
pitch is increased the current is more
and more disturbed until with a high
pitched and many gabled roof it is bro
ken into mnumerable eddies, some Of
which are sure to curl down and force
the smoke and gases in the f1ue into the
rooms below. Chimneys on such roofs
should be built higher than ordinary. =
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Notice.

A $40 reward will be given to the
finder of this lost horse as described
He is of sorrel color with white face
and nose, and also two white hind feet.
Branded L. T. on hip. He is very
short and stout built, weighing about
HOO pounds. If any one has seen such
horse, notify me at once.
FRANK GRILLO,
Campo Seco,
Calaveras County,
Cal
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

Lately starved in London because
he could not digest his food. Early use
of DR.. Kings New Life Pills would
have saved him. They strengthen the
stomach, aid digestion, promote assimi-
lation, improve appetite. Price 25c.
Money back if not satisfied. Sold by
D. B. Spagnoli, druggist.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Touched n Sore Spot.

''Do you find it difficult, SENATOR" she
asked, Ito keep in touch with your con-
stituents?"
Il beg your pardon, ma'am," he re-
piled. with a scared look. but really
l must ask you not to use that express
sion with reference to my AFFAIRS
Touch is a word that l can't stand
since the papers used it in explaining
why i voted for that street railroad
bill four years ago."-Chicago Herald.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
One of the Queer Sights of brooklyn

One of the Queer Sights of Brooklyn.
Speaking of queer things that hap
pen in Brooklyn" said a member of the
finance department, "a few nights ago
| was going out on a late train on the
Fifth avenue elevated road. There
were few passengers in the car. Sit
ting opposite me was a demure looking
Brooklynite with a large bundle under
each arm. The bundles were closely
wrapped with newspapers.
Suddenly a violent internal move.
ment agitated the bundle under the
mans left arm, and moment later the
head Of a large game rooster broke
through the paper. As soon as the roost.
er's head was clear he crowed loud
and defantly. Then the bundle under
the other arm heaved and struggled
another beak and comb appeared, and
the crow of defiance was promptly an.
swered by one of challenge.
'Then for five minutes those two
ROSTERS crowed at 80 seconds inter.
walls, while their owner struggled des
perately to get them back into the
wrappings where he had thought them
effectually concealed. He indignantly
refused the request of the other passen.
gers to put them on the floor of the cal
and let them fight it out."-New York
Sun.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

Gracious! You don't mean to say
you are going to move out to Aigu-
hurst?"
Indeed am. I consider it an ideal
place."
Huh! You want to read the papers.
There's more sickness there than in
any other town in this vicinity
81 know it. Pm a physician."-
Catholic Standard and Times.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
The Tammnnx Tiger.

The origin of the tiger as an emblem
Of Tammany is said to date from the
time when William NJ. Tweed, then
foreman of big Six" Fire company,
took fancy to a picture of a royal
Bengal tiger in the ffties. Tweed
adopted the emblem for the Americas
club, and it soon was accepted by all
Tammany,
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
When coronet. Are Worn.

The only occasion upon which a
British peer or peeress wears coronet
is at the coronation of sovereign. At
the moment when the archbishop of
Canterbury places the crown on the
head of the new monarch every peer
present at the ceremony dons his own
cOrOnet
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Made the AppIfcation.

GLOW are things" the barber asked
pleasantly of the shrinking man In the
chair.
"Dull, very dullr'
And the knight of the razor looked
for moment as if he thought the re-
mark was personal. - Philadelphia
Times.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
Two Zoos.

Three Irishmen had four guineas to-
be equally divided among them. After
several unsuccessful efforts by two Of
them the third settled the business
thus: 'There are two for you two, and
here are two for me too"
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
A. H. kUHLMAN
Contractor and Builder

Will do work in any part of
Amador County. If you want
to build, send a note to Jackson
Fostoffice and l will call on you.
Estimates furnished without cost
on any kind Of building. VIII
make plans and specifications for
you. mar2N
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

The climate of northern Ontario is
not unlike that of northern Europe, and
its soil is equal to that of many thickly
peopled portions Of the old world.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

''That great Italian tenor told me he
had mattress stuffed full of the laurel
wreaths that had been given him."
"a mattress full! Then he ought to
retire on them."-Cleveland Plain Deal
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
The Finest Building Lots.

Remember that w. p. Peek has the
finest building lots for sale in Jackson.
Terms easy. See display advertisement
in this paper. S-2-tf
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

Experimental philosophy is represent
ed by an attempt to borrow money Of
an acquaintance; natural philosophy is
represented by his refusal to give up
Chicago News.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

1t don't matter if the world is round
or fat, you'll roll off it if you don't
keep your balance.-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

Subscribers are coming in. Every
paid-up subscriber to the Ledger gets
certificate in the Press Publishing
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

The ordinary beer glass is regulated
by law in Bavaria and must hold exact
ly half liter, or nearly nine-tenths of
pint.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

It is pitiful to see a well behaved old
man bustling around to help his way
ward son out of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Glnhn.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

The Romans built London about the
year 80 A. D.. but London wall was not
built until BOG A. D.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

SAFE DEPOSIT.-Safe deposit boxes can be
rented from the Bank of Amador County at the
small expense of IS cents a month, thereby Sc
curing you against any possible loss from fire
or otherwise. Don't overlook this opportunity
of protecting your valuables.
SAVE MONEY-Patronize a home institu-
ton. Send money away through the Bank of
Amador County; you will save 10 per cent and
upward over poStoffice or express. Money sent
to all parts OF the United States and also all
parts of the world. We have the latest quota
lions on foreign exchange.
SAVE MONEY-It doesn't cost anything to
deposit money in the Bank of Amador County.
They receive deposits from s. up. Commence
the new year by opening up bank account A
man or woman with a bank account has a
financial standing. Don't bury your money;
when you die it can't be found and you are liza
BILE to be robbed while alive
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

Pioneer Flour is the "Lily of the
Valley" the '.Pearl Of Perfection"
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
LEDGER'S CLUBBING RATES.

Ledger and Daily Call, one year 81 SO
Ledger and Weekly Call, one year ....... 8 60
Ledger and Daily Bulletin, one year $50. 6 SO
Ledger and Semi Weekly Bulletin, yer 20
Ledger and Weekly Bulletin, one year.. 80
Ledger and Daily Chronicle, one year.. 70
Ledger and Weekly Chronicle, one year go
Ledger and Weekly Examiner, one year. 60
Ledger and Daily Examiner, one year -. 80
Ledger and N. Y. Weekly Tribune, yer 90
Ledger and N. Y. Tri-Weekfy Tribune, ~ so
Ledger and Cosmopolitan Magazine, yr IS
Ledger and S. F. Weekly Post, one year. 90
Ledger and McCalIs Magazine, one year 2 rs
Ledger and ST. Louis Globe Democrat, 1y 90
Ledger and Twice Week, one year. 90
AFThe above rates are strictly In advance,
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02
MISCELLANEOUS.
JACKSON REPUBLICAN, CLUB

Stated meetings the second Monday evening
of each month at O'Clock p, m. All Republi-
cans in Jackson and vicinity cordially invited
to attend and sign the roll of membership.
Membership free. All funds raised by volun-
tary contributions.
Amador ledger., 1901-08-02

Statisticians agree that the popula-
ton Of the world averages 100 women
to every 100 men.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1901-09-06

There ia more Catarrh in this sec.
ton Of the country than all other
diseases put together, and until the
last few years was supposed to be
incurable. For a great many years
doctors pronounced it a local disease
and precribed local remedies, and by
constantly failing to cure with local
treatment, prom ounced it incurable.
Science has proven catarrh to be a
constitutional disease, and therefore
requires constitutional treatment.
Hall, 8 Catarrah Cure, manufactured
by FL. Cheney d Co., Toledo, Ohio,
is the only constitutional cure on the
market. 1t is taken internally in
doses from 10 drops to q teaspoon full
It acts directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces of tho system.
They offer one hundred dollars for
any case it fails to cure. Send for
circular and testimonials.
Address. =. j. Cheney 4 Co.,
Toledo, Ohio.
Soldby oil druggists.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1901-09-06
Had a Pleasant. "Trip.

Had a Pleasant.Trip.
A number of people have already
bean to Buffalo to takel I'M the Pan
American Exposition. They report
the show as all that could.be desired.
and that they had very pleasant
trip. They went by way of Milwau'
kee. Taking. the Pere a1quette
steamer across Lake Michigan, and
from there to Detroit by fast train,
connecting at Detroit with fast trains
for Buffalo. Some have gone by
boat from Detroit, and:report de-
lightful trip, the change from rail to
water riding being very pleasant.
For information as to rates via the
this roue, write H. w. Jameson, T.
P. A., Pere Marquette Railroad; 81
Wisconsin street, Milwaukee.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1901-09-06

Round TripiRates Tor New York
Round trip tickets, at very favor
able rates, will be on sale to New
York via Burlington CEDAR Rapids
& Northern Ry. Call on agents for
particulars or address,
Jno. G. Farmer,
A. G.. p. & T. A.,
B. C. R. g. N. RI.
Cedar Rapids, Ia
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1901-09-06

G.. A. n. Eneam pment Rates
For the National G.. A. r. En-
campment to be held at Cleveland,
Ohio, Sept. 10 to IA. the Omaha road
will sell excursion tickets Sept. 8 to
18th for $3.50 for the round trip.
good to return Sept. 18th, and on de-
post of ticket and fifty cents time
will be extended to Oct. 9Th. For
further particulars call on the agent
G.. Morrison.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1901-09-06
To the Pan American Exposition
at Buffalo.

at Buffalo.
The most popular railway from
the Northwest to the great show at
Buffalo will be the Chicago, Milwau'
kee & St. Paul.
It runs every day, i've beautiful
trains from st. Paul anb AIinneapo'
lis to Chicago. connecting directly with
all eastern lines.
Its celebrated Pioneer Limited (the
famous'train of the world) leaves
Minneapolis 1870 p. NJ, and St. Paul
$40 p. NJ. daily, ARRIVING Chicago
9: 80 next morning.
Special feature of the1 'Milwau-
KEGS" service are the observation,
buffet parlor cars on day trains, prt'
vate compartment and standard
sleepers ON night trains,I as 7'well as
buffet smoking cars aud the:: best dir
ing service in the world.
Tickets at cheap rates will Ebe on
sale every day at ,all points: on tie
Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Ry.,
to Buffalo and return, and the maxi
mum comfort can be obtained by ue.
ing this line.
Write 10 j. T. Conley, Asst Gen'l
Passgr. Agent, ST. Paul, for the
"Milwaukee's" Pan American folder
Zone of the completest and most com.
prehensive guides yet published Of
tho e1position) and all information
concerning rates, etc etc.