The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-06-25
GOLF APPLIED TO WAR


 to give up golf playing entirely to get time for 1t"
 When Mrs. Max made this statement the major looked at her indignantly for a time in the hope that the lady might say something by way or ex- Ilanation, but as she lapeed into her usual sweet calm. which IS more pie turesque than illuminative, the major at last repeated Questioningly "get time for it?' .,
 "Certainly," said Mrs. Max. If one goes in for anything very much one never does it, especially if one IS woman. You see. major, women are different from men-they have so much more to do they haven't time. Polly Sanger plays, but she does not have to lace bit. so she can play in- stead of going in for it."
 The major actually blinked In the stress of mental enort to taKe holo of some reasonable clew as to what fact was making his wife so fancifully articulate.
 Does she play something else - hop scotch for instance?" he asked at venture.
 "Who?" inquired Mrs. Max. Mrs. Jack"
 | "Something else than What?"
 Than golf."
 "Oh. gracious, mo-. exclaimed the lady. Mrs. Jack doesn't play any tning any more except bridge whist, and Polly. says Mrs. jG"k plays Tor awful sums. But you See she's gone in for golf; just regularly gone in &or 1t. so she's no time for anything else. You understand now, of cou;sG.
 | ''Oh, of course. It would he silly not to understand. It's like n2t being able to hear the opera because tHe singers make so much noise, or n"t being ape to see the forest on account VI the treee. As I understand now Mfs' JACK | has become a professional, and | Why. major, how ridiculous!" tn- | ,crruuteu his wife. To play g0lf-acI- tally play it. n, .
 ITO actually knock liver pill six miles over a forty-acl9 lot, comment ed the major.
 Exactly, to really hit the balls, is not very smart any longer. You see clubs and balls have become so cheap there Is no sense Tn praSging about how many balls you've lost, how many clubs broken. Besides, everyone plays nov; young men who are so poor they gre detrfmentals; and girls so pooE Hthey are not blamed even for being pretty" ,,
 ''Ill have to brush up my game, " suggested the major with some inter- est. But about Mrs. Jack; what Is that road side violet up to in SolfY
 Why, she's making it a society feature. You see with making up coaching and mobile parties to ride to the golf course; with lunches in the club house. tea on the lawn; dressing for the links-you can dress so much more for the game If you do not play getting up golf matches for poor lela- Iicns; golf dances at country houses; giving cups and marking handicaps for them, she's so busy with golf she never has time for more than going to the first tee to show her new gowns. and hear the gossip. You nave to near the gossip about the players, 10 talk 1t at the afternoon teas, you see, or else it isn't a golf party"
 l Its a capital idea" AsSented the major, gravely. Tt could be applied tU so many other things, too. l shall sd- vocate that we play Wall street tEat way in the next boom. Let the poor re. lations and other lambs do the buying
 and selling and getting broke, while
 we make up parties to visit Wall
 street. to lunch at Beaver street, Dels,
 or the Savarin, visit the brokers offices
 and talk stocks; dress especially for
 the trip; and add a spice of real de IT,
 ger and excitement by riding all the way up town in the Broadway ears. It
 would be fashionable, agreeable and
 highly economical; besides it would in
 duce many people of our set who have
 never ventured so far, to make triI
 below Fourteenth street.
 Polly Slanger says Mrs. Jack gave , up actual play because the paper ] waists she wore creaked so it disturb ed the players on the putting green. But Polly is mad because Mrs. Jack is making it unfashionable to play just as Polly is getting to be quite a
 player herself"
 "Pollys reSenge is in her own hands" said the major She can ra-
 talfate by making 1t fashionable again for women to drink champagne, in stead of whisky and water at dinner" That would hit Irs. Jack hard. Mrs. Max agreed, smiling comfortably "She cannot ride we'll at over a hun dred and forty. and champagne sends her up ten pounds above that in a single season. She looks very smart riding, so she thinks champagne is a rowdy drink"
 My dear!" exclaimed the major in sudden animation. "out of the mouths of babes" You have given mS the idea that will make me famouG } My proposal to play Wall street q Mrs. Jack plays golf was a mere hN pancy, yet it headed me toward tfa
 which shall make Caius Julius g. ) sar's writings read like the colH. H.,to, articles of q BOer war correBno onden