The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-09-01
TALES OF CLOAK-ROOM
 TOLD BY CHAMP CL1RK
Wisdom of Tempcring Justice With Mercy Au ,1lIl of Humanity Some Enduring Monn-
 mentS to Statesmen.
mentS to Statesmen;

| ferson. author of the Decfaratiou o4 American Independence and ofS Xir&l1- las statute for religious freedom &n1 | father of the University of vfrx1nfn x emitting all mention of his chief d-ot1i< vre the Louisiana purchase the mott | colossal and stupendous trausncttou fn real estate proposed on this earth ninc6 | the devil took the Savior to the tQr ok a high mountain and offered him the dominion of the wo-lI'to fall iown and worship him. The plain, unvarnish4d truth Is that neither Jefferson, with &ll his wisdom. prsscienca and nhilosopny, 1 nor Napoleon. with his dazzling genius. had any adequate conception ok the f1a< pcrtance of that historic trade. They ceuld not have had, not being endowed with powers of vaticinatfon. Truth fo tell. the Corsican would have dou& q better part by {his subjects had he abandoned la belle France to her exo- mics and had moved the French peepIe. bag and baggage. with their Lares and Penates. to the banks of the Mississip- pi. which. by the way. was first named the river Colbert.
 But I did not start out to wrfte an
 essay on Jefferson and the LouI4k4na
 purchase. however enthrallinE the theme. I am philosephizin& ah4zk
 naming places for men.
 Of course. our pioneer worthies ha4
 vast advantage lin this regard. for the
 all sufficient reason. that the faf1her
 we go back toward the beginnznx of
 things the more places there were a be
 named. For this reason as well as f6r
 others the names of Washington. Jef-
 farson and Jackson lead all the rest oiI
 the map of the United States. Ik 1a
 curious fact that one may take Q map
 and determine from the names Of places
 and the dates of laying out towns and
 counties almost the exact period at
 which any American warrior or atates-
 man was at the flood tide of his p@pu
 larity. One might ascertain the A&u3e
 fact from the names of men save tor
 the unfortunate fact that men die and
 usually their names perish with them.
 A hero suddenly impinges upon huznan
 vision. and an entire generAtid0 gf
 helpless male infants are saAdhed wikh
 his name. One of the best frfenaa
 ever had was labeled Kosciuske K1e@
 suth Harris. most appalling case ok
 to unite Poland and Hungary to ac-
 complish the feat. but he did it. No
 mortal man could carry such name
 through life, so the victim wi&ely re-
 lieved himself of his burden by curtAzi@
 ing that name to plain Kos Harris and
 as such has had great success at his profession of the law.
 King Solomon says: A good name iz rather to be chosen than great riches.
 Of course he meant reputation, but hia. dictum would stu be true even if ha
 had meant tnerely fitting name. 1k
 is a great piece of idioey to name Y child for a living man of distinction.
 When the Civil War broke out, I was an 11-year-old schooIhoy In Kentucky. 1 had classmate whose name was
 John C. Breckinridge Phillips. called for the then idol of the Kentucky Dem
 ocrats. But Breckinridge, to use his own forcible and classical words, siald
 aside the togS. of Senator to take up
 the sword or the soldier, while Phll-
 lips pere was violent Union man. So.
 as it would never do. according to h1s
 philosophy, to have rebel in the fann- lily as q perpetual reminder of his iaAt love, he changed the name of that uil- fortunate Phillips ills sans ceremenfe
 ct sans rAison to John T. Critten<eu
 Phillips. The boy finally committed
 homicide and cut other fantastic ca-
 pers before high heaven. addled per~
 haps by bearing through life mama of which he was unworthy and & load
 beyond his strength.
 This long string of reflections on
 names was started in my miua bS
 passing through the beautiful iItkie city of Van Buren in the county Of Qs In passing it may be stated that Ter a long time nobody, knew the real nanie of the State. Some pronounced if Ar~
 kansas. others Arkansaw. At ol4a
 time the two United States Senators
 from the State differed as to it's pxa-
 nunciation. The Vice President. heinm a kindly man, of great tact, consulted
 their tastes by always recognizing oue
 as ''the Senator from Ar-kans- as and 4 tsSr II1xf ls. saw" Finally the Legislature took the
 matter of nomenclature In hand and
 by solemn statute decreed that the cor
 rect name of the State is ArkansaWs
 I am not certain but what the Mis- souri Legislature will have to do selAe~ thing of the sort The dictionaries give 1t as vMiss- -u-ry," but no genuine Missourian ever pronounces it that way. It is always "Mtz-uh-rahn or "diz- -uh-ruh." vox popull vox Del. The people have as much right to make a dictionary as a government.
 Crawford county is named for Will liam Fl. Crawford. a tremendous figure in his day, who can1R within . George town gsaze Of being President. who barely missed the highest place, who wound up as circuit judge. whe HOW belongs to the long category of s'half forgotten statesmen" and whose career once more teaches us what shadows we are and what shadows we pursue. It Is altogether probable that but for a slight attack of paralysis in the very crisis of his fate he would have been elected President by the House of Rep~ in lieu of John Quincy Ad- ams in the Jackson Adams Clay Crave ford imbroglio. Itturned out that the paralysis was only temporary and left him many years of life and of usefnl~ ness. but his Presidential opportunity was gone, and the star of Andrew Jackson mounted to the zenith, and he became the foremost man Of all this world. while Crawford passed into per petual and almost total eclipse zamen G. Blaine was a much more brilliant man than Crawford andFwIl not be forgotten so long as peep rS&A Arneri- can history. for he not only made Aia- tory of startling nature but wrote history in most charming manner Nevertheless he resembles Crawford in the fact that a temporary illness. 6 touch of sunstroke. had htf1 prostfate at a most inopporttifge m0n1ena and un~ prevented his nomination to the Presidency in 1878.
 The city Of Vau Buren was of course named for Martin. He fared better at the hands of Arkansans than he diH with MisSourians. The latter in their love and admiration named two coun- ties for him--cne Van Buren. the other but when he bolfed Ia iS4S and headed a political aide show whose effect was to defeat General ,.oe.,.4.~ F1n rss.,.,, A.. sss..ssE