davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

where He Was Efficient.
''Your son. said theateacher, has
missed it on, arithmetic."
Eyes," <tsSs
mo good at spelling."
= Eyes" Z >---.
GA Ounce in history
eyes"
Sand there's no good in HIM"
"Perfessor," said the farmer, shave
you ever heerd that boy cussin' of
Georgia mule, under br'ilin' sun, in
a ten-acre fe1d?"-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Faith, 1t Was So.
When Pat Devine kissed Kate Mageo
She was as mad as she could be,
But when he begged her, "Kate, be mIne?~
To 'er twas human to forgive Devine.
Philadelphia Press.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
on

Dr.. Al performed an operation on
Bornson yesterday.
DR.. B-Yes, know; saw it in the pa.
l. Ain the papers?
B-Yes: in the death notices this
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Not Qualified to SDeak.

Not Qualified to Speak.
Rev. Mr.. Doper (the exchange
preacher)-Deacon Elder, what do
you think of a man who will sleep in
church?
Deacon Elder-You'n have to ex-
cuse me, Mr.. Doper. I wasn't at
church last Sunday. You see, I heard
You were going to preach, and-the
fact IL, I'm apt to be sleepy myself now
and then.-Boston Transcript.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Two ClaS8e1.

Two Classes.
The Music Teacher-I might settle
here, madam, if thought could Oh.
tain pupils enough.
She-You might prosper. There are
some here whose voices could be cult.
waited.
The Music Teacher-And others, nc
Puck
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
The Worst Yet.

Farmer Hayrake-Deacon Perkins
did get stuck awfully on his last New
York trip. 49, H.. -..@ : -,:f...s
Farmer Whiff1etree-How WIZ that?
/ Farmer Hayrake--Why, he took
down six o. those old gold bricks O.
his'n and snapped EN- off for $4,000
shares Of oil stock.-Puck. {"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Tastes Diner,

Dea1er-Here, madam, is q horse I
can recommend-soulnd, kind - g. TT IS
Old LadyOh, don t want that sort
Of q horse. He holds his head high. Z.
Dealer~E Ell? 81 :5:s. c.515 z..$.
Old Lady, like d horse that holds
his nose close to the ground, SO he can
see where he's. going =. Weekly. &
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Advantageous Terms,

II hear that you have compromised
your suit for damages against the P
D. & @. Railroad company"
"Yes"
"Advantageously?"
"Very"
"What were the terms?"
"They paid my lawyers BILL
Town Topics.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
i &3lN61 g. 81
* s'|kElllS{[|EejEE J :
! Honesty Pays

Jm-Honesty is der best policy,
AFTER all. =.
Bill-How? -'"- - - =
Remember that dog I stole7~
"Yep."
"Wen, I tried two hull days to sell
I'm, an no one offered more'n dollar.
So went, like a,>honest man, an guv
him to tn ole lady what owned i'm, an
she guv me five dollars."''-N. Y. Week
".
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Displaying His Caution.

II noticed he was unusually formal
and circumspect in his behavior" she
told her dearest friend, land thought
at first I had offended him in some
way" 80 S.. a..
"Had your" -: + = :.
"Oh, no. AS soon as Brother Willie
came in ndgot the phonograph he had
inadvertently left ON the table every
thing was all right again" Chicago
Post. - r.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

from q ascent claim to q $3.50. 900
property, yet the transactions relate
what has happened. in degrees, over
and over again. Of the thousand or
more established claims or mines in
the four counties, most of which
were located by native pros pectors,
the majority are still in the hands OF
resident owners. With a few notable
exceptions, the field has not yet been
syndicated.
Most investors now arriving, there.
fore, prefer to negotiate for located
and partly developed prospects, rather
than to devote time and take the un-
certain chances of prospecting on their
own account.
In summing up the: situation in the
North Arkansas field, points for con.
sideration are: Certainty Of title, adj
vanced stage of speculat ton, not yet
reached. Tractability Of ore; and ease
with which it is mined and prepared for;
shipment. But upon the one con-
tingency of transportation is hinged
all others. Transportation by water
is an accomplished fact. More than a
thousand tons. of ore, hauled 10 to 20
miles to the, White river, have been
foated to Batesville a and. thence
shipped by rail to the Wisconsin smelt-
ers and there reduced for Belgian ex.
portation.
From greater distances along the
tributaries of the White river, the ore
has been, foated down in steel barges
or slight tonnage and draft. But these
are conceded to be temporary make.
shifts to be cast aside by their project
ors as fast as each district is reached
by the railroads, which, after all, are
looked upon as the :arbiters of destiny
measuring, by their proximity, tho
prosperity, of each camp. Following is
"a brief summary of the situation SO far
asiit relates. to the railroads. The
four producing counties lie near the
center: of a quadrilateral, bounded BY
the Memphis and Frisco: lines on the
northeast and northwest, and by the
Little Rock railroads on the southeast
and southwest. The length of the
major axis of thisgreat diamond being
300 miles, and the distance of any given
camp! within the field from q trunk
line being from rs to $50 miles. +
From Sel1gman, Mo-, a point on the
Frisco, a party Of ST. Louis capital
lists; at the instigation Of Gen. Powell
Clay ton, began the railroad invasion
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
n J AAdES N. POMEROY.
why they Like Z Missionarie.

Why They Like Missionaries.$ sc, 81
BIS The cannibals of Fly river, Guinea.
do not eat missionaries because they
have any religiou dislike to them,
but because as none consumers Of rum
and tobacco their flesh IS more PAL
atable than that Of most other white
men. They turn With aversion from.
flesh tainted with the daYor ot alco.
hol and tobacco,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Human Inconsistency

1.-THE world Is too much with us!'
We quoth with weary sigh
Then. when we're not invited,
We sadly wonder why.
PUCK.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Protected.

Protected.
Tommy (tearfully)-If yer don't
gimme back dem marbles yer fobbled,
I'll tell me big brudder. -.
Patsy-G'wan an tell him! He
dasn't do nothin'.
Tommy-He dasn't? Why?
Patsy-He goes wit me sister. See?
Puck.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
BFOiled.

In quest Of sleep my eyes Shut
But fierce discomforts thrill.
I bought it for a mattress, but
It seems more like a grill.
-Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

ADonst ;Fret.D
II you want to keep cool
Just follow this rule,
It's the best we have run across yet:
"All the 'Don'ts' that you find
Let In one be combined
Don't fret"
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
The Lightning GOSSIP Route.

Tie L1Ehtn1ng Goss1p Route.
"WeH, that's quick work.
'What's that?"
"A man from San Francisco told his
cousin in New York secret he hadn't
told his wife, and before he got home
in, ten days. his wife had letter from
his cousins wife, telling her all about
It. Chicago Record-Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
ssReiinarlkable Woma1

.eMrs. Locker is remarkable WON.
On, isn't she ??''5s.s 4 sss.zSss. ~ S. s. $3.50
''We.l, she certainly makes q goods
many remarks Brooklyn Eagle.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Solving q Problem.

Zone of our troubles at the club"
said Cholly, "has been to make the
waitahs distinguishable fwum the
membahs at our evening weceptions.
But we've solved it at laws:t."
*Ah!" remarked Kostick. by get
ting intelligent-looking waitahs?'-
Philadelphia Record. = p =
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
A Week on

Head of Firm-I shall not be wei!
enough to be at the Office for several
days. -: =.
Clerk-Why, you look all right now,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Fact in Fiction.

''Of making many books there is no end
This truth would be as maddening as il
looks
Did not this joyous fact its succor lend:
One season sees the end of many books!
Dr,1l
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Those Loving Girls.

Those Loving Girls.
Nell-Did you ever take part in
amateur theatricals?
Bess-Yes, once. I took one of the
principal parts in Beauty and the
Beast!"
Nell-Oh, tell me all about it! Who
took the part of Beauty?-Chicago
Daily News
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

The Difference.
The bee stings once and then
May never sting again;
The slanderer, day after day,
In wanHon malice stings away.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

Young Wife-Our marriage has not
been as happy as thought it would be,
and didn't think it would.-Moon-
shine.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

Mabel-Miss Small is treating poor
tombstone shamefully.
Ethel-O, really, I haven't heard any
thing.
Mabel-Haven'ty you? They say she's
going to marry him.-The King.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

Head Of Firm-But I'm going shop.
ping with my wife this. afternoon
Harper's Bazaar.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Kept Busy

Kept Busy.
On the lecture platform women
OF themselves oft make sights;
But the foot that rocks cradle,
Never kicks. for women's rights.
CHICAGO Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21

Her Chance.
"Look at those two bad boys in the
river" said Mr.. Markley, as they
crossed the bridge.
by the way, dear, that reminds
me-" replied his wife, "let me have
couple of dollars? I've got to get
pair of undressed kids."-Philadel-
phia Press.
Declared.
$50 Spudder's going to join your
fishing club, eh?'
"No. He heard that a man had to
be = pretty good liar as well as q
fisherman, to join.'
"Well?"
"Spldder can't ."-Brooklyn
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
SWEDEN.

Nels Johansson, of Torp, who died
few days ago at the age Of 81 years., was
a genius In his way, though a sort of
mute, inglorious Milton" His school
education had been neglected.. But he
used both his head and his hands so well
that he became an expert in many pur.
suits. He wrote Swedish almost gram
matically correct, which is an exceed
ingly rare accomplishment among auto
didacts; he understood English and La
tin; he wrote verses, composed music to
them, sung them and accompanied him
self on his violin; he could build house,
make q piece of fancy furniture, make a
rifle, gid a picture frame, sew a pair Of
pants, make a pair Of shoes, paint a
horse; turn a post and produce a credit
able work of sculpture; and everything
was done easily and. we'll. He was a
crank on one subject: he believed that
ne was destined to solve the problem Of
the perpetuum mobile and spent many
night studying this brain-blasting SUBJ
ject. But he had sense enough to refrain
from talking about it unless induced by
others to do so. He had eight children.
three Of whom are residing In America.
Both he and his wife, died Of consump-
ton, Ez* 81 gs4 s. = az ;....%. .
The different total abstinence organ
izations have held their annual meetings
in the course Of the past few weeks, and
the following data were cleaned from
their annual reports: The great organ
izations have an aggregate membership
of 230,729, Of whom s7,167 are Good
Templars, 62,19S Blue Ribboners, 1900
Templars, 23,4O0 National Good Templars
- IN VvHN : 4
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
HARDLY CORDIAL.

Visitor-Lovely place this of yours.
Pity it's 50 far from the station.
Host-Yes. # itwasn't I'd have sold
it long ago.-Moonshine. -,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-08-21
Looks Suspicious.

Il Is It q sign, sor is it not, j., q -
Il And one that needs attention due,
That, when the cashier buys yacht
He means to be skipper, too?
= lind Qe =. =-..-5.,. .s..-S.:' IS
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29

A full line of Wilson's, the
only air tight heaters at G. & G
Hageistein Cos.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29
sumption had been of long stand

sumption had been of long stand.
ing.
DO YOU think" asked the
coroner. 'if he had been longer
under the open,air treatment
that he would have gone on i'm.
proving!"
Well" replied Dr. Mussou,
1T is such an extraordinary
case. 1t was marvellous that he
improved at all. There was sub.
cutaneons fat on his body. which
is most unusual. "
"Toe evidence is very much
in favor of the open air treat
ment?" the coroner asked.
Very much" remarked the
doctor
He could hardly walk about
when he went to tho hospital, "
said the brother
1T is a most interesting case, "
observed the coroner 1T is
most satisfactory to know that
the disease. even in an advanced
stage can be arrested
The amount of fat on the
BODY" added the doctor. point
ed TO the enormous amount Of
resistance that was offered "
The coroner, in summing up,
said that TO him, as Il medical
man and a mem Der Of the Rich.
moud board of guardians. the
case was of the, creates, possible
interest, us the Richmond Union
was the first in the United King
dom to obtain the sanction of the
local government board for the
board for the Introduction Of the
open air treatment Of tn berculo.
sis into their new intirmary
buildings"
In conversation with a ply.
stefan OF Harris county, Ga, a
strictly mountainous country
and not q large. town in that sec
ton of country, Dr. De Lamar
informed the writer only last
summer that consumption was
the most prevalent disease Of
that section where he practiced
So at point where ii is all
woods, plenty of pine trees, one
mountain bearing the name of
Pine Mountain, from the pine
trees which cover it to it's sum.
nit, it seems consumption is
prevalent, especially among the
negro race. who live principally
out doors in the open air where
the sun shines.
II demonstrates that nature
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29

may do heap for you with prop.
er assis lance, but there are other
thugs equally as necessary in
the 'rea,m Of consumption as
sunshine and open air.
The body must be clothed in
accordance with the changes OF
the weather, and the German
who does not Try to have good
warm and substantial clothing is
the exception. The body must
be well nourlShed with good sub
stantiai food; aud stimulants fur
nished either in the shape of a
good whiskey or wine, according
TO the patients Constitution.
Medical authorities in Materia
Medica have found out for abso.
lutte facts. Notwithstanding all
that may be said by cranks and
over Jealous temperance workers
and Top sided people. that ALEC
ho in small doses stimulates the
gastric glands Of the stomach.
promotes appetite and digestion.
lessons the elimination OF waste
products of the body, stimulates
the heart and increases the func
tional activity of all the organs
and slightly raises the tempera
ture Of the body.
The amount which the system
can use with decided benefit
for nervous and muscular power
has been found to be about one
and one half ounces per day of
alcohol which would practically
amount TO gill of whiskey per
day.
Furthermore. those affected
with lung troubles should avoid
catching cold, being out in rainy
weather, and remain indoors at
night, see that they have proper
exercise every day and that the
liver performs its functions with
due regularity, since the starch
of the starchy foods has to be
transposed into grape sugar, and
the bile aid the pancreatic juice
to digest and assimilate the fats
taken into the body as portions
of food.
All forms of catarrh should be
treated and cured.
When 1t comes to climate and
open air for the treatment of
consumption by the open.air
method. practically, all the west.
ern portion of Texas will fill the
bill, as the air is dry and eleva.
tions and attitudes can be Sc.
lected to suit most any individu.
al. Here al San Angelo is an
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29
One Year for HinCkIey.

The most recent victim to
whom the full realization OF this
vigilance was brought was f. G..
Hinck!ey. of Shawnee. Oklahoma
Territory. He had mortgaged
some cattle toa conn mission firm.
which Was also a mem Der Of the
association. Some time ago il
became evident that he was not
acting honorably in this connec,
ton with this com mission house
aud an investigation ensued. 1t
developed that ha had been dis
posing of mortgaged cattle in
small lots To various parties and
pocketlng the proceeds. BY the
time the irregularity was discov
cred his speculatiOns had amount.
ed to about 81, 200.
The Protective Association
took up the case and the trial
came up last week before Judge
Raymond in the United States
District Court AT Wewoka, In
dian Territory United States
Attorney Huckeloerry conducted
the prosecution. Hinckley had
been indicted on four accounts,
but the one Of "fraudulently dis
posing of mortgaged property"
was sufficient to convict. His
term was fixed al one year in the
peaitentiary.
Considering the vast amount
OF business that is done on Dor
rowed money in the live stock
industry. cases Of fraud are small
as compared with other lines Of
trade, a fact which bespeaks the
sterling honesty and integrity Of
the cattle and live stock interest
as a whole. but like in every 9th
er pursuit there will occasionally
be found someone who cannot
resist the inclination to depart
from honest business principles.
Live Stock Reporter.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29

Give your orders for Christ
mas presents To the Presby
rian Ladies' Aid.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29
Sofa pillows, handkerchiefs,
dolls. etc, Presby terrain Bazaar.

Omaha, Nov, 20.-25 carloads
of horses for the British army
passed through Omaha from Wy
oming over the Burlington Sun
day evening. These horses
were mainly heavy broncos. pur.
chased in the mountains Of Wy"
oming around Sheridan. They
are 70 be shipped from the Al
lantlc Seabourd. THIS consia &c.
mcnt is but one OF several which
have been taken from Wyoming
during the past year British
purchasing agents say that tho
horses from the mountains do
better in South Africa than
those taken from the prairies
and that the grass fed stock OF
the West is much better than
those stock which have been
fed upon grain, aS on the forced
marches over the veldt the ami"
mails have to depend on grass
for SuSteuanCe.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29
Spread Like MiIdfire.

When things are "the best"
they become the best selling. "
Abraham Hare, a leading drug.
gist, of Belleville, O., writes;
Electric Bitters are the best
selliLg bitters | have handled in
20 years" You know why?
Most diseases begin in disorders
of stomach, liver, kidneys, bow
els, blood and nerves. Electric
Bitters tones up the stomach,
regulates liver, kidneys and
bowels, purites t h e blood.
strengthens the nerves, hence
cures multitudes of maladies
1t builds up the entire sy stem
Puts new life and vigor into any
weak, sickly, rundown man or
woman. Price so cents. Sold
by j, w. Harris & Co. druggist.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29
Estimate OF Cattle Feeding In the
TerritOrY.

Not more than go per cent OF
the cattle that we're fed last
wear in the Indian Territory and
Texas, are being fed this year,
according to the estimate of j.
l.. Harris, general live stock
agent of the Wabash. who has
just returned from the weeks
tour Of observation through the
South. Mr.. Harris visited va.
rious points in the territory, FIT,
Worth, Dallas, Texarkana, Liz.
tie Rock and Pine Bluff. His
mission was TO Isle up" the
cattle industry. and get some
idea Of The business in sight for
the railroads for the next few
months.
While there is a falling off in
the number Of fed cattle,
there is not much decrease in
the mum Der of cattle that are be.
ing held to be roughed through
the winter. Convinced that
prices will be away up next year,
the people down in the terrific.
ry are holding every animal they
Can. The only reason that no
more feeding was being done,
Mr.. Harris SAYS is that feed can.
not be obtained. Corn is selling
ut from go to rs cents per bush.
ell and is hard TO get at those
prices. Every cotton mill 10
the territory which he visited
had all the cattle 1t could feed.
Mr.. Harris said that no new con-
tracts for feeding are being
made.
"One thing / noticed" said
Mr.. Harris, lis that there are b
good many cattle on feed that
will come to market early. They
are well advanced now and will
begin coming as early
as Decem Der, and continue
throughout the winter. Then
many of the cattle that will be
roughed through are mature
and in good condition, and will
fatten easily, and we may ex.
pect to see them coming to mar.
ket in May and June.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1901-11-29

ideal spot kindly bestowed by
nature al the fork of the North
tud South Cohcho rivers where
pure, sparkling spring water
hJWs The year around, the city
uselr is located ina valley at an
elevation Of about 1000 feet. The
air is both dry and sufficiently
rare!ied to become a bracing
ionic and with the surrounding
mountains. here is sauitarium
Nhlch nature has afforded. The
air is neither too hot or too cold
.nd simply awaits the invalids
to restore them to health and
strength. provided they conform
to all medical and physical laws,
which are necessary TO act in
unison with those outlined by
nature.