The Virginia enterprise., 1901-12-27

| were indignant because the mayor sent
his telegram Offering assistance without
consulting them, and to express their re-
sentiment, adjourned the meeting with
| out taking action. Then the mayor of
Portland. Me-. was in a quandary, but
he quickly recovered his self-possession
and disposed Of the matter to his salts
faction by sending this second telegram
to he mayor OF Portland. Or:
''Thanks for your prompt reply. I asked
only fer information. New York Times.
| The value Of board school education
was very manifest in the case Of a girl
who was under examination Yesterday.
What do you call arirhmetic?' she was
asked.
Why. spelling, Of course" she an
sWcred; without moments hesitation.
She was next asked what she had
learned at school. She replied that she
had received instruct,.n in 'arithmetic,
writing and sums" She might just as
scribed in submar inc schools of "reeling
and Writhing and fainting in coils.''-
London Globe.
He was at school in Canada. and it
was mis- first day in class. The geogra-
ply lesson was called, and it was his
j turn ~ answer.
(which is the largest city in the
world?" asked the teacher
New York." unhesitatingly came the
| answer.
II mean the largest city in the world,''
said the teacher.
A; promptly came the reply, New
But cx1'ostulatcd the teacher, II did
not say the largest city in the United
States. buc the largest city in the world.
| You surely know which is the largest
| City in the world
New York." persisted the boy.
! London has Q larger population than
New York" said the teacher. If do
not have the correct answer this time
shall have to punish you. Come. now,"
coaxingly. tell ME +: namc Of the larg-
est city in the world"
New York;
Stay in. during recess and write me
fifty lines
He wrote the fifty lines, and every line
read: The biggest city in the world is
New York. New York World.
At Russell physician rounded mp the
Record editor because he didn't mention
the physicians name in the announce
n>ent Of births.
I'm do it on one condition. said the
editor.
What's that?' asked the doctor.
! THAT l shall also mention your name
in connection with the Deaths" replied
the editor.
The physician said he didn't believe
he cared to have his name mentioned in
| connection with births anyway.-kansas
City Journal.
Once, when passing through cemetery
in Lenox, Eliot Gregory was surprised to
see that the members of one old New
England family had been buried in cir
Gle. with their feet towards its center.
lie asked the reason for this arrange
Mrs. Stowe, replied: so that when they
rise. at the Last Day, only members Of
their own family may face them!'
! -:O:-
Cholly-"Gussie Shippers and are go
ing TO Florida this week
hard winter, chg
Cholly-"O'-aw-you f7attah US. Hard
because we won't be here. eh?''
Miss Pepprey-"Not at all, but it's al
ways a sign of hard winter when the
gees" fly South SO y."-Philade!phia
The other day, when Counselor Ed
Hassett, one Of the sons Of Steuben
county, met Jack Switzer of Bath,
father of the American champagne indus
try. at the Fifth Avenue hotel. he told
him that a friend Of his had a new dog.
Its fighting d~g," added the counsel
or. "and he wants an appropriate name
for it,
Tell him to call it Moreover said
Jack.
"Moreover" exclaimed Counselor Has.
sett. perplexed.
Yes replied Switzer; :'Moreover, aft
er the first fighting dog on record.''
Never heard of him." declared the
counselor
Go read your Bible. then,'' said Swift
zer. land see where it says that More
over. the dog came and licked Lazarus
| don't know what breed Moreover was,
but he must have been a fighting dog
or he wouldn't have licked Lazarus."-
New York Times
Mr.: Hauskeep-",1 wonder where the
"Sirn %rs Haaskesp RnRsI ts 0ea5 Calling to cook
Bridget, have you got the morning pa
per in there?''
Brideet-"0i how. num-
wants it,
Bridget-"Oi amt through wild it yet
mum. m.-Philade}phia Press.
Johnny" said a provincial grocer to
the new boy. what kind of butter did
"Some of the rolls here,' said the new
boy. respectfully.
"Oh, great Caesar" groaned the gro
Ger; 'sent 'em some of that good butter
just after I have got 'em down to this
here in the barrel! Sent 'em the best
butter in the shop just as finish two.
years course of getting 'em down to the
butter after l have got 'em to think this
| barrel butter was the best in tho world