West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-01-17
THE JERICHO
POSTOFFICE.
Pap Perkins, the Postmaster, Tells
Abvat ihe widows Cow and Generous
Patriots OF Jericho.

"'"'' vas oSdSSiy ulStIlDulcu DclOT'
he raped on the head of barre
and said:
"feller citizens, do we live in al
age of selfshness and avarice or ar,
we people with pity and charity il
our hearts. | don't want to b,
known as an alarmist, but it doe,
seem to be as if things had reached
the Dustin up pint"
"Ihat may be strong pint oil
not, accordin' to- what follers." said
Deacon Spooner. "what's the
matter, Moses %
owe all know that Columbus dis
kiyered America in I4oa." contin-
ued Moses, as he got brace for
his feet. ''It's no use to dwell on
that and refer to the far reachin'
influences of that diskivery. | have
allus bin proud of the fact that am
an American and was diskivered
among the rest of you"
"But come to the pint. Moses, "
continued the deacon. "Nobody's
goin' to dispute you about Colum-
bus, though l think Henry Clay was
the smartest man of the two"
"frhe pint is this, Teller citizens ::
When that band of pilgrim fathers
left the shores of England for Amer
lea, it was in search of personal
and religious liberty. They search
ed, and they found, and up to one
day last week the 50, 600, 900 in
habitants of the United States have
been laborin' under the belief that
liberty was assured to one and all.
thought so, and you thought so,
but behold, how woefully mistaken
we was |"
"Moses, is there anything back
of this ? asked the deacon.
"Of course there is"
"rhen dish it out before it gets
cold"
"I'd like to refer to Washington
crossin' the Delaware, but if this
meetin' is in hurry III say that the
Widder MAYORS COW is in the pub
lie pound and has been for week.
The charges ag'in her now mount
up to IS cents, and the wilder
couldn't raise half of that if her life
was at stake. Puddin' and milk is
what she's been living on for the
last two years, and now that the
milk is gone she's only puddin' left.
She came to me to-day with tears
runnin' down her cheeks and a lump
in her throat to ask if we was ma
ton of freemen or slaves"
'In other words" said the dea-
con, "she wants her COW
"She do ?"
"And you told her we was a
nation of freemen.
81 did. not only told her that,
but pledged her my word that the
50, ooo,o 900 freemen of this glorious
republic would either raise them -
cents here tonight or I'd go up to
the pound tomorrow and jerk the
COW over the fence by the tail.
Yes, gentlemen right here and
now I'm appealin' to pity. mercy,
charity, liberty and the proud star
spangled banner for which so many
of us have fit, bled and died"
al s'pose the correct way" said
Squar' Joslyn, as Moses fell back,
'is for every man to say how much
he'll chip in and then chip. From
what have known of tne general
sentiment of this community |
should say that we will not only get
the IS cents for pound fees, but
enough extra to buy a new milk
pail. Perhaps Deacon Spooner will
lead off in announcin' the sum he
will give ?"
H'd ruther not, replied the dea-
con. "That is to say, don't want
to take the honor away from silas
Bebee."
ats a sad, sad case" says Silas
as he shakes his head in mourn.
full way. GLOW the wilder Nay.
lor's COW got into the town pound ]
dunno, but it certainly rests with
this American nation to get her Out
ag'in. Pm expectin' to chip in, oil
course, but J don't want to seem to
own the town Of Jericho. When We
was tryin' TO raise So to I'll up The
mudholes in front ofthe court house,
it was Aaron Saunders who started
the ball a-rollin' by sayin' he'd con
tribute 7 cents. Mebbc il would b,
better for Aaron to lead off in thi,
case"
IF its the gincral opinion Of tn,
crowd that / orter do so, then
will" says Aaron in his sleepy tones
"but I'd kinder like to know leet,
more about the case before ! do
| Ipcnrc ~ me IN 10. Ill ....-...