New-York tribune., 1901-07-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

young man of Glencoe. Okla. T. is Offering 0OO
tickets on himself husband which he is selling
az s. each, and il is said they going like hot
cakes. This is how he explains his scheme BY
selling 5000 chances for s. each. IL will bring to
sl5.Coo. which is a sufficient OF money
tract any young woman desirous Of marrying.
may get the prettiest girl I'm the country but
! will get one. am sure. who Is anxious to marry
1 sell numbers for s. and agree when paid for
the number 10 marry the holder OF said number
provided she draws the lucky number at the rafte.
I will have the rafting conducted on fair and
square means by parties entirely disinterested In
it. Numbers from To $500 will be placed In
box and a blindfoded party will draw
number The girl holding the similar number shall
become my wife. I will marry her
is ready. The money will be invested sup
port handsomely I shall take the bride
extended wedding trip
The doctor says I must go away fer change
IN that's all you need" replied Mr. Dukane.
stay risht hers ana @ .ne onanse OF Climate VIII
Law Notes" remarks: AN ordinance has been
adopted by the Town Council OF Yorkvile. s. c..
making 1t misdemeanor for any person TO be
seen staggering on the streets Of that town. II
legislation of this character becomes generally pop
ular In South Carolina the Governor of that State
will have hold his little meetings with the Gov
eTnor OF North Carolina in the latters territory.
short OF funds. II his books don't sell why don't
man?
Boomer-No use: a man who can't succeed as a
estate busness.-(New-York Weekly.
story is told Of an English clergyman who
owed his appointment a rich living a lucky
pun. He was tutor TO the son OF nobeman. and
had not long taken orders. when he attended the
funeral OF the rector of the parish in which the
nobleman's seat situated.
The father of his pupil patron of the living
ard was also present at the funeral of the de-
ceased rector. There young clergyman
present also whose grief was demonstrative that
the noble patron much affected by the sight
and asked If the young son OF the de-
ceased gentleman.
"Oh. dear no. my lord-no relation at ALL" said
the tutor.
mo relationr' exclaimed the nobeman In a sur
prised tone.
None my lord: he is the curate and think he
Is not weeping for the dead. but for the living
His lordship, who something of a wit and a
cynic himself. delighted with the bon mot
that he conferred the living upon the ready
punster.
But. my SON" said the fond parent 'Tf you do
not attend school and college regularly YOU will
never be regarded an intellectual light
''oh. yes. viii. papa. responded the fair haired
sdoT G Sfses r and IN thns asqurs M degrees
With eyes moist with pride the father bade the
child eo bravely forward upon the path OF destiny.
baltimore American.
Riding down Oxford-st. this morning OH top of
bus" writes William f. Curtis from London, Il
pcked the driver in the back with my umbrella,
Americans usually 90, and asked him questions.
He was good natured and answered them cordially
Some of his retor;s quite witty. You seldom
find bus driver I'm London without a keen sense
OF humor and they all Ike to talk. AS
passing old Newgate Prison l inquired How do
You get inside that place? What wanted TO know
was whether must to some official for ticket
or admission. and this was his answer. When you
get hon this bus go hup beind the first you
see and it i'm has ard has you kin In the cad.
The bobby will do the rest"
Il sent away a dollar" she sadly said, ito
party in New-York vino offered tell for that
amount % how g make the guests at summer resorts
On, did you?" her friend asked. what do you
Leave them at home."-(Chicaso Record-Heraid
Mrs. C. Newman. OF Campbell Park. a Chicago
suburb. was buildne handsome white stone
house, when some one discovered that the bay win
dow extended four feet the building line.
Neighbors attacked her In the courts and the
house had to down She hungered for re-
vense. Engaging the services of architect. she
began TO put up a shanty the site that will
squat reproach and eyesore Campbell
Park is beautiful place The shanty stands WIN
IT'S back to the street. man who never before
had done any painting was hired to smear 1t yell
low. Then I'm a local paper appeared this adver-
tisement Wanted. noisy family to occupy a
new house; must be least five boys; red haired
ones preferred"
Tae Other oc Gay vans clerk in one Of the local m
POLISH district, TO deliver an insurance policy On
reess az no ms o h nj, IN
at the front and back doors. Yet the windows were
yara mex, door he aeGosisd him WITH; '''' ''''''
"Ach; dey amt got no woman lere: she ven, deed
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