The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-28
Our Daily Short Stories
MAJOR MAX'S GHOST STORY.
BY EDWARD w. TOWNSEND.
Copyright. 1901. by Authors Syndicate,

Fudge In heIOrIii, Sndil dunele CioSS-
ly to dialectics.'
"Dialectics?" inquired Mrs. Max,
"isn't that a Scotch novel or-or the
Bowery, or David Harum, or some-
thing?"
Something" the Major assented,
thoughtfully, "but the form l shall
adopt is that ascribed by Tame to
Macaulay, which, take it, is identif-
cation of logic with discourse. For ex-
ample, when DR.. Depew declares that
his colleagues who opposed ship sub
sidy are petticoated, fresh-water sem
ators, the reasoning mind at once sees
that Senator Hanna"
Mrs. Jack Daring wears woollen
petticoat under her golf skirt" inter-
rupted Mrs. Max, although under her
waist she wears paper waistcoat,
which she says is warmer than golf
cape but that is because she likes to
show her figure; though Polly Stang
ner says Mrs. Jack creaks like a golli-
wog when she swings a club"
''Polly Stangner is a young woman who
should be reminded that we read in
Proverbs: The talk of the lips tend
eth only to penury" continued the
Major, severely.
"Gracious!" exclaimed Mrs. Max, 'if
Polly didn't talk she'd die! You know
how rich she is? Well, every funny
little foreigner with title and debts
who comes over proposes to Polly. The
other day the funny little Count the
Husslars introduced began proposal
to her as she was coming in from the
links at the Colony Club. Polly let
veranda, where there was crowd OF
people, and then she said: What day
is this?' Tuesday, said the Count.
Ohio, then you must propose to-mor-
row. said Polly, so that every one
heard her. Wednesday is my day for
receiving French proposals.. The Huss-
lars told Mrs. Jack that they didn't
mind the rejection so much, but that
Polly had queered the Count with three
or four other girls who were consid-
ering his proposals, and who over
heard. But Polly is a good Sort she
offered to pay the Counts expenses
back to France if he failed to get an
heiress here"
Il shall certainly speak to Polly,
said the major. "She is interfering with
a growing International industry; a
sinful thing to do in these days OF
industrial supremacy There are many
naughty but deserving families OF the
Faubourg st. German deriving their
incomes by syndicating penniless
young noblemen; Quitting them for a
voyage to this country in return for
a percentage of the fortunes they
marry. Under the French law their
claims on the American wives fortunes
are a preferred lien. taking precedence
over the claim of bric-a-brac dealers
and even debts of honor. international
courtesy and the respect due all syn
dicates and trusts impose upon Polly
forbearance and silence; also she
should remember the protection due the
infant industry by which the Husslars
of America thrive. AS for me, give me
liberty or give me-ah, thank you; the
decanter is at your hand. In weather
like this | often sigh that the good,
old-fashioned taste for hot whisky is
much neglected A lump of sugar in
the glass-two for you, my dear?-a
piece of lemon peel the size of your
finger half a dozen cloves and an inch
of boiling water from the urn, thus.
Then pause. The hot water melts the
sugar distils the fragrant oils from
the lemon and the flavor from the
cloves. Now add the whisky, thus, and
fill up the glass from the urn. 1t is
nothing Our several senses tell us it
is hot, it has bouquet flavor, diffuses
a gentle glow to the mind and heart
but has Berkeley, has Mill written in
vain that we say il is hot whisky? If
it is not solely an idea, it is at most
but a group of atoms so arranged as
to produce through the sense medium
certain physical reflections and mental
states. Madame I look toward youi"
"Is there really a syndicate?" Mrs.
Max asked stirring her glass.
81 have not investigated common re-
port; shall do so before beginning my
essay: 'Betterment of America by Re-
moving the Tax on Rum and Interna-
tional Marriages. In that destined-to-
be immortal work j shall prove that
the average of health, intellect and
morals would be greatly raised by the
elimination of all men who, given free
rum, lacked strength of body, mind,
morals, to refrain from drinking to
death; that future generations of
Americans would be improved because
they would not have had mothers too
weak to resist titled beggar. Which
is to say my dear let us at once be
rid of men too Incorporate to become
good fathers; of women too silly to be-
come good mothers of Americans.
shall from that point proceed by logical
deduction to prove that
Mrs. Jack was here to-day" inter-
rupted Mrs. Max, moving back a little
from the CRATE with the unconscious
purpose to make room for the setter.
for that amiable dog was fretfully ac-
complishing his customary advantage
of securing the best place before the
fire
What did Billings have to say?" in
CURED the major.
II did not say Col. Billings was with
her." Mrs. Max declared.
''He is in town. hence could be with
her, hence was"
"Oh, WELL" began Mrs. Max with
brow as nearly vexed as its fixed plac-
idity permitted. IT don't know what
he said One is not interested in what