Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-15
THE CHARM OF GOOD BREEDING

|
courteous always, her SAVIOR faire
charming and she has the tact which
| s,nooths over the squally. stormy
| scenes Of everyday life.
Good breeding Is not necessarily the
| result OF education. although education
| accentuatos good breeding. but ii must
| be the demonstration Of the true quail
| ties OF heart and mind distilled
| through the manner. The first princi-
pies Of good breeding consist In due re-
gard for the feelings Of others. never
to wound anyone by thoughtes.
| word that may be bitterly regretted
| almost before it's echoes have died
| away.
The cultivation Of this charm OF
manner wins love from all sides. Per
| feet courtesy In all our dealings and
| associations with those Of every walk
| of life bring with il pleasure that
f, more than cofnpcnsates. one naturally
| treats ones equals with certain
| amount Of polite Difference. Social
! ethics demand this. but the politeness
| that one accords an inferior cmanates
| from a higher scnse of keen regard for
the feelings OF those beneath one So
cially. IT is by no means an infringe
| ment Of dignity to treat n salesman.
shop girl or Il servant with as much
politeness as would be accorded ones
| personal friends. and. If people only
knew IL, they could save themselves
very much In the long run by such
consideration. II does not deteriorate
from lady to stand a few moments
ana make some pleasant remark TO q
...I =.
the end frequently proves very con-
venient investment, from the fact that
a woman who treats a girl thus court
eously may spare herself many dis
agreeable shopping tour by writing the
girl a graceful note and coufteously
asking her If she will kindly save her
| trip downtown by selecting for her
the articles na med on an cnclosed list
and sending them G. O. u. \ note of
| thiE Kind from a woman Of standing
10 gin employed In large store
| speaks well for the latter and does her
| a service BY calling the attention Of
| her employers 10 her. besides saving
! the woman. who has a multitude OF
other duties long. iiresome jaunt.
Among servants III o hotel a polite
! word viii often do as much good as
/ 2J-rcnt Tip in the way ~ obtaining
service. II u just as easy 10 make
request as a demand. and the former
viii secure more willing compliance.
| The well-bred woman avoids argu-
| mrnts on any subject. nor will she
wranglr Tor certain prerogatives. tn
81 perfectly agreeable at all times ana
! adaptable to environment. even il il
| should not be- exactly pleasant. Il the
! creates ~ test III good breeding. and
woman can easily avoid n recurrence
Nv declining later invitations.
The habit that ~ growing on our
Young people Of what in slang par
lance is called "jollying' is an abomi-
nation among refined people. and IL
nothing more ar less than a cowardly
way 81 offering an insult For man
10 indulge in such buffoonery at the
expense 81 woman whom he is sup
posed to respect is objectionable.
lady IN such a case may show her i'm
Gignatiun by her face and manner. but
she cannot. with any dignity to herself,
resent 1t in words.
The well-bred woman is easily dis
iinguished in any social gathering. The
dir with which she carries herself pro
manner confirm it.
The large cafes in New York at
midnight. crowded with hungry
mass of humanity. are no mean schools
wherein To study human nature. The
ladies are gowned in quiet elegance.
the soubrettes in gorgeous mag
nificence. The soubrctteS and mil
lionarirs' daughters are hardly dis
tinguishabe. \ lady. no matter how
rluch she may be amused. should
never raise her voice above the con
Vel tional tone. and nothing ex-
cusrs 4 loud or boisterous laugh. To
note tho various points " good breed
ing would fill columns: these are mere
IL hints.
Ana The candid person who always
says what he or She thinks, What an
abumination, They always manage
~ think something intensely humliat-
ing or disagrceable. ana if there hap
| pens to he family skeleton they take
a savage delight in Haunting il in the
garish light and rafting its bones in
YOUR face. When one cannot say
pleasant things il is best 10 say moth
ing. | would infinitely prefer that
| people should say pleasant things To
me that they did not mean than UNI
pleasant things that they did mean.
| The former cannot wound. but the lat
| ter leaves a train Of heart aches from
which it sometimes takes days TO re-
bound. People need not be insinCere or
| IN any way deceptive. but kind
word may diffuse the longedfor en-
| couragement. whereas candid criti-
| cism often wounds and STILES all ambi-
| ton for future effort.
When i hear either a man or wo-
| man boasting that they always say ex-
actly what they think | am very sure
| hat they make decidedly objectionable
thinks" and that they are safe peo-
pie TO avoid.
People who give YOU advice FOR your
own good are another thoroughly ILL
bred class. If advice is worth anything
is worth asking for. and intrudng ones
opinions the lives or actions of Others
S nothing less than impert!nence.
\ well-bred woman steers clear OF these
Jagged edges in her intercourse with
others. and she quickly learns to parry
IsaSreeabie contretemps with the skill
;hat aVerts a scene.
Tact is the elimination of good breed
ing. and the tactful woman is the one
whom hot M lava Nd Il