River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-03-14

would soon get used TO AZ, ana De1ore
the cough was cured they would get
so they would like it. But for this
warning it is doubtful if either of
the Fond Parents could have staid
in the ncighborhood after the remedy
began to throw off its clouds of thick
and sitting black vapor. 1t spread
and penetrated all through the fat,
and it was two hours before any
member Of the family could get to
sleep Half an hour later they were
reused by a furious ringing at the
front door. The Fond Father rushed
to the door in his bath robe and
opened it. There stood the janitor
of the building in scanty apparel with
chemical fire extinguisher strapped
to his pack.
whats on fire in your fate" he
said. Everybody in the building has
| been smelling smoke for an hour and
we've finally traced it down here"
The Fond Father smiled weakly
and said he supposed it was a new
cure for whooping cough they had
been trying which had caused the
trouble. He was sorry if the other
tenants had been disturbed.
Next morning when he got up he
had slight tickling in his own
throat, due, no doubt, as he conclud-
ed, to the effects of the tar vapors Of
the night before. But the tickling
did not leave him during the day. In
fact, it was worse when he got home
that night. After dinner he even
coughed little. Then an awful
thought struck him.
"Whooping cough is exclusively a
child's disease, isn't it?" he asked
his wife, artlessly.
80, no." she promptly answered.
when I had it my father caught it
from me, and l remember he almost
coughed his head off before it was
cured"
He spent the next two or three
days in trying to prevent himself
from coughing while at home, though
on the streets and downtown he gave
free vent to unmistakable whoops.
Z
then he felt free to add his deep bass
whoops to the treble explosions of
the Child. Shortly it dawned upon
the Fond Father that whooping
cough was not a joking matter He
coughed sometimes till he was purple
and black in the face, and finally, in
shame and despair, he called one
evening at the doctors office.
Doctor" he began, 81 think I'm
going to die. l."
A spasm of coughing seized him
just then, and he gave demonstra-
ton in the whooping line which was
strong and convincing.
80, whooping cough is just joke,
you know" said the hard-hearted
physician. at does a boy good to
have it."
But the Fond Father was beyond
feeling any insult. He begged for
something to help his cough, and
finally he got it. Then things went
on little more easily for a few
days. Finally it got so that if either
the Fond Father or the Child com
menced to cough in the presence Of
the other the second invalid would
Immediately start whooping as if in
sympathy.
But not even yet had the climax ar
rived. 1t was when the recent corn
corner was at it's height and the
Fond Father had accumulated a fair
~ large line of the cereal. which he
was waiting to sell at big advance
One night he got "tip" that the
corner would be broken the next
day. He went down to the board the
next morning prepared for action.
He knew that he must dispose of his
stuff in the first few minutes of the
session if he wished to clean up the
handsome profit which he had on pa
per. Finally business began in the
corn pit, and he plunged into the
thick of it. The first sales showed
that the price was stin at the top
notch, and he determined to unload
without a moments delay. The king
of the corner had just sold $4,000 at
the top, and everything seemed
proptious. His hand was raised and
he was about to Shrek out his offer
when he felt that terrible tickling
in his throat tie crushed it down
with a mighty effort.
zone hundred thou"
The cough seized him in its re-
morseiess grip. He bent over nearly
double with the paroxysm. The other
frantic brokers pushed and showed
him out of the way. He stood on the
bottom step of the pit and whooped
for a solid minute. In the babel of
voices the sound of his coughing was
entirely swallowed up and lost. He
could hear, even as he shook and
strained with effort. the pit break out
/ into q fresh riot of confusion. The
corner had broken. Corn had dropped
! IS cents in two minutes. The Fond
/ Father was barely able TO save his
distance by letting go his holdings at
/ the low figure.
The family has now recovered its
normal condition of health. But lit
/ tie Charley is now being reared on
the sheltered and protected" policy,