The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-09-04
Chat fbouf
People.

There is nothing like being a real
good critic; one of those dufrers who
know all things. at all times. and
know them hard | observe that
one critic picks up Dr. Brown and
bis Buffalo -pome" and slams him
one In the poetical solar plexus. or
what ever other term can be used 60
Indicate the centre of his verse foun-
tain for the reason that he speaks
or plantations
The critic wants To know what there
Is about the farms OF Rhode Island Co
blow about and calls attention 70 the
untitled and abandoned farms. Bless
his dear ignorant heart. The Pau
American commissioners when they
advertised for a state hymn specified
that the successful competitor must
include IN his verses something about
Rhode Islands institutions and the
use OF the term plantations was for
the reason that II Is part OF the
corporate name, viz. State OF Rhode
Island and Providence Plantations
Come again Mr.. Critic.
II IL strange that soma people never
stop TO think out the meaning of what
is asked them.
Though locality need not play any
part in the following incident. IL may
he well TO say that II occurred i'm
North Scltuste.
Two bicyclists dismounted from their
wheels and approaching an eating
stand by the roadside inquired what
kind OF pies those were In the show
cases, meaning, OF course, berry.
apple, mnce. or wheat
Providence pies" came the reply.
WANT a piece?"
One is not apt 10 think that street
vendors are very observant. II Is
the general impression that they cry
out their wares TO anybody they NAV
meet. Not SO. In each case they
choose their victim.
III YOU don't believe Il Just walk IN
Westminster street with your arms
full of bundles, stopping every now
and then i'm order To look into the
shop windows. You will be molested
by all the peddlers on the street who
Will try TO sell you everything from
imported laces TO patent suspender
buttons.
On the other hand put on ordinary
clothes that show they have been worn
and walk hastily up or down the
street; mind your own business and
not vender will molest you. They
judge from your appearance that you
are not prospective purchaser.
There Is a constant inclination of
parties going to the city hall TO get
mixed up A youngster went into
the recorder OF deeds office the other
day and addressing one of the lawyers
there said: is this the place you
find out how old you are?" The lad
was referred to the proper office. He
did not say why he wished to ascer-
tain the important Information.
The sixth judicial district court
produces many funny incidents. and
one which happened today took the
whole bakery.
A German was brought before Judge
Sweetland to plead to a charge OF
assault He couldn't speak word
OF English.
Temporarily he was sidetracked and
another man was brought before the
bar.
This one was Swede who could
just about speak English without
making IL feel very bad.
happy thought struck the court:
why not turn the two men loose on
each other and trust TO chance that
the Swede could hit upon something
the German could understand.
The situation was hammered into
the Swede's understanding tank and
he tackled the job"
The men faced each other and lab
bered for two minutes and then stared
blankly at the court.
There haGn't been a bit OF progress
made and the seance was called off.
The next prisoner was an italian
woman. and in presenting her TO the
court the captain OF the ith district
said: This lady was arrested for
assaulting another lady"
The lady couldn't spik Inglss and
the court fished for another interpre-
ter.
Back OF the rail which separates
the goats from the sheep sat rs young
men, and 10 this group the court
addressed this remark:
rs there any one in those back seats
who can speak Italian"
Wow wowN How surly the audi
ence did look
Every man Tack NJ them was a
Celt and their feelings can he pretty
we'll imagined.
Finally Frank Rial showed up and
did the grand for the Italian lady,
while "A nearby business man helped
out the German gentleman and each
was fined for assault.
This amusing contretemps recalls the
volunteer service Of Fred Fry who
used 10 hang out about the old Central
police station.
a German was up for being in
decently drunk and nobody could inn
part 90 him tho nature of the com
plaint against him.
Fry offered 10 interpret the charge
and was told to go ahead And this
was Fry's idea Of speaking German:
'De co-o-u-rt. he say you vos trunk;
iss dot SOP"
Freds services were promptly dis
pensed with.