The Butte inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1901-1912, 1901-10-11
THINGS To Be FIXED
MR.. BALDY SOURS POINTS ONT
SOME OF THE DEFECTS.
EL0PEMENTS AND DIVORCES
Begins on an Odd Voyage Of a Vessel
and Winds Up on Tramp's
Love Making

"Hav We heard O de Dark Secret %
queried Mr.. Badly Sours Of the barten-
der at the Butte this morning, as he
called for an EYE opener"
What dark secret?" returned the bar
tender as he went to the back bar for
the goods.
Dat may be a joke" replied Badly as
he winked and consumed all he could al
low himself for fifteen cents. Deere real
ly is no secret sayin' nothin' bout de col
or O. it, Fact is dat de handle hans We
in me openin' fer de day is de title O. a
boat dat a Teller is rinin cross de sea-
He starts from down on de shore near
New York to make a flyer over de
ocean. De ship dat he travels in is de
smal!es' dat is ever set into de waves
Wid Europe fer her mex tyin' up place.
l is not oarin' a lot bout de Teller dat
takes chanel like dat. If he is alone
DIS guy does not take to de water tho
widout side pard. He has his bride
wild him. Dat is wy 1 is ag'in him.
"Dere Is too much dat needs iixin bout
de way folks is framing up tings desc
days to chance go like dat one de skip
pr has on wild de lady he JUS wed. He Is
due to stay at home an help wild some
O de mendin' O. de country stead O. go
in way wher' he is takin' a long chanel
on drownin wild his bedder half l is
nOticin' JUS a few O. desc things dat bed
der be cut out an l hans dem to ye fer
We to t'ink over. is not tryin' to put de
world to rights nor on payin' basis.
but I has a few ways O lookin' at things
dat l is not maxim mistakes on.
Now JUS let me start in wild We down
at dat city in Moo Jersey wher' dey say
de anarchists is strong people. Dere is
woman livin' down dere an she has de
goods in her pantry to help lonely hobo
wen he comes UP de pat to de door an
AK fer han out. Well, one day Wen
de sun is shin an dere is not much do
in in de house Dusty Rhodes comes up
to de door o. dis woman an tells her he
is needin' a little something more under
his belt. De lady trots out from her din
in room wild her hans crowded Wild
chuck. Dusty nails de feed an makes
way wild it 'sif it suits him. Den he turns
to de lady an near gives her heart dis
ease by 'tellin her dat he wants to 60
to work. We see he knows Wen de feed
suits him an is willin' to bury de rules
O. his perfess fer de sake O. dom some
more business wild de bran O pie dat de
lady puts up.
DE lady gives Dusty job hoein' in
de garden. He seems to be pretty fly
wild de weed cutter an de lady sees him
thro' de blin's an gifts stuck on his
shape Finally she meets him at de
garden gate wild warm plate o hash
an speaks a few words dat goes to de
heart O. Dusty. Den dere is more meet
in at de gate Wen de man o de house
is out maxim de money to buy de PIE.
things gets better, or worse, as ye
might frame it up, an in de en- de lady
an Dusty gets move on dem an leaves
nothn' but note tellin' de ole man dat
dew is gone. De ole man sees dat de
han'-wnitin' in de note is dat O. his Wom-
an an he lites out to catch her an
Dusty. It pears dat de pair has made
good getaway an de ole man has
lonesome pike to travel. De las hears
a. him he is still goin'-campin' right on
de trail O. Dusty.
"Dere is anodder Teller out in Dakota
dat is havin his own troubles. He is
tryin' to make de courts tink dat he lives
dere so dat he can get unspliced from
de woman dat he is tied to. l is not up
on de law O. dose things but things dat
he claims dat de lady has left him to
paddle along withot her. Dis girl, by
de way. is quite a paddler herself fore
she gets in wild de man dat don't want
her no more. Onct she is hikin' down de
the street in de night-it is in some
eastern burg wher' she lives-w en- guy
wants to bet her de drinks. or some
ting like dat, dat she is 'fraid o water.
she saws dat is cinch an wades into
a pool o. de liquid. Bein' pretty we'll IN
de swim I means wild de s'ciety layout
dis wadin' stunt causes quite squeak
She is not due to quit on de water lay
tho. Fore de people has time to get well
rested after talkin' over de dash In de
pool she jumps from boat, agtn wish
in to win de highballs-an' comes near
trayelin' to'ards de bottom fer good.
Il don't know how all desc things is
comm out. l is not much in de f1Xin
business meself. Badly keeps pretty
busy 'tendin' to de things dat is up to
him widout sittin' up O. nights studying
on de troubles dat is due to odders.
is not givin' We any long spiel on how l
am framin up tings to put dem IN
bedder shape. I is simply 'pointin' out
to We few lines dat seem to be little
slack Dat is wy thinks de man wild de
small skiff an de young wife would be
breakin' even bedder on his duty II he
was back here tryin' to help square
things dat needs fixin', Mr. Bartender