davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

"Halt!' cried an alert patrolman in
Manila as beautifully caparisoned
carriage drove up containing a portly
gentleman. The driver refined his
steeds. and the sentry, standing firmly
in the center of the street, shouted,
"WhO is there?
Not knowing what else to say, the
occupant of the carriage answered,
Judge Taft, president of the civil
commission"
advance. Judge Taft. to be recog-
nized," bawled the sentry. The Judge
advanced, and the following dialogue
took place:
Sentry-Have you a pass?
Taft-No, sir; do require one?e
Sentry-You do. sir. and it's my duty
to run you in.
Taft-But am the civil governor of
the Philippine Islands.
Sentry-That doesn't cut any figure.
You're a civilian and out after hours.
Ill let you go by this time, but the next
time catch you you'll have to see the
captain"
"Thank you," murmured Judge Taft
rs he drove away. And there and then
he formed a resolution to put in an
application for pass. According to
the Manila Freedom, he got 1t.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
The Wrong Text.

"Very few good speeches are really
lmpromptu," said New Orleans law
yer, who has a reputation as a clever
offhand talker, but it is generally
easy to produce that effect by simply
leading off with some strictly local al
fusion. OF course that's a trick, but
It's a trick employed by a good many
eminent orators. l was broken Of 1t
myself by rather peculiar Incident.
Zone day some years ago happened
to be in a town where large CONNER
Hal college is located and was invited
by the president to make a few re-
marks to the boys during the noon re-
ress. l mentally framed a little talk
On the subject of energy, and as was
going into IT,, main hall 1 CHANGED to
notice the word Push in big letters on
The outside of the door. BY Jove,' l
kaid to myself, that's the very thing l
need for localizing my opening SEN
fence! So when reached the platform
| launched out something like this:
My young friends. as l approached
the entrance tc this room a moment
ago l observed word on the panel of
the door that impressed me as being an
appropriate emblem for an institution
Of this eminently practical character.
1t expressed the one thing most useful
to the average man when he steps into
the arena of everyday life. 1t was
'Pullr yelled dozen of the boys on
the back seats. There was a roar of
laughter, and | was SO horribly discon-
certed, that l was unable to take I'D
the thread of my r"marks. The con-
founded door haG ish on one side
and Pull on the D, ler. l had taken
my text from the wrong side."-New
Orleans Times-Democrat.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
A Big Grasshopper.

A geographical expedition which set
out for Australia from Boston on an
exploring and mapmaklng tour had en-
gagged a negro cook, who took great in
terest in everything he saw. While the
party was en- route a kangaroo broke
out of the grass and made for the hori-
zon with prodigious leaps, an event
that interested the colored gentleman
from the Hub exceedingly.
you all have pretty wide meadows
hereabouts, reckons," he said to the
native who was guiding the party.
mot any larger than those of other
countries" returned the guide most po-
litely.
well, there must be mighty power
full high grass roundabouts, heh?" he
insisted.
Not that know Of" replied the
guide. why do you ask such odd
questions"
"Why. I'll tell you, boss. was think
in Of the mighty uncommon magnitude
Of them grasshoppers." kansas City
Independent.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
King Richard In a Kitcben.


ACTORS Of the old school did not
have the gorgeous stage settings of the
present" said veteran stage manager
the other night as he gazed at the stage
in Ford's Opera House while in q
reminiscent mood. 81 remember once
we were playing southern towns with
Edwin Booth and wanted to put on
Richard IL No special scenery was
carried for this, and 1 was told to look
over the stock at the theater to see If
there was any that could be used
The second scene called for the en-
trance of the king and all his couriers
into a royal hall. l picked out a set
of scenery that thought would do
for the palace, but cautioned the stage
hands not to get 1t on wrong side out.
Well, the first scene was finished, and
when the stage was disclosed for the
second there was the typical old kitch-
en- scene, the one with hams hanging
from the rafters, a candlestick on the
mantel and all that. / was Mortified
and asked Mr.. Booth if we should
change it by ringing down the cu,t ain.
He said no, he would go on, but he
cautioned the other players to keep
your eyes on me; don't under any con-
sideration look behind you at the seen
cry
"Well, the scene went off, and after
ward, when l asked some of those in
the front of the house, they made no
comment, and was convinced that in
the intensity Of the acting they had not
noticed that the king was in the kitch-
ell instead of the palace" Baltimore
Sun.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

RED Rock, N. Y" said a man who
spent some time there, isn't much of
a place. but there is something inter
esting about it that 1 fancy all the
world doesn't know. The present name
$ not the one 1t has always borne, and
what its other name was 1 don't know.
Whatever it was the people Gid not
TX" it and concluded they would
change it. There was no particular
reason why they. should call it Red
Rock, but that was determined upon.
and SO Red Rock it became
Then in the course of time strangers
of an inquiring turn of mind began to
ask why the place had such a name,
and as no reason could be given new
corners to the neighborhood began to
want q name that meant something.
This insistence grew so strong that the
old residents began to look around for
a reason for the name of their place.
and at last they found a huge bowlder
near by which they said was what had
suggested the name. But the bowlder
was gray instead Of red, and the pro-
gressists insisted that that would not
do. At last the old timers hit upon
new plan, and, procuring a barrel of red
paint, they painted the big rock red.
Red Rock indeed it was now, and not
only was all opposition to the name
overcome, but the painting of the rock
every spring has become an annual
festival, and the people celebrate it
with big picnic and general celebra-
ton.
1T was a new idea to me, and If
there is any other town anywhere on
earth that is christened every spring
with red paint or any other color 1
don't know where it is."-New York
Sun.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Clothes and the Man.

If a Filipino enters the house of a
European living in an unassumine
way, he will not believe that the Eu-
ropean is either wealthy or wise, and,
although his manner may be correct,
it will not be humble. On the other
hand, If he visits an ignorant man
who INDUCES in great splendor, he will
at once become exceedingly respectful.
Mr.. Phelps Whitmarsh, who in The
Outlook gives his experiences in the
Islands, tells the story Of a wealthy
provincial visiting Manila for the first
time, who asked to be presented to the
governor general.
When he reached the palace, he
found the governor taking coffee on
his piazza, dressed comfortably in a
white cotton suit. The Filipino re-
quested that some favor be extended
to his district, and his request was
granted. He then withdrew. The off,
cial who had procured the presenta-
ton asked him what he thought Of the
general.
"Why," replied the visitor in a tone
Of disappointment, che is no different
from any other white man."
1t SO happened that the general was
told Of the incident, and he gave or
ders that at his next reception the
Filipino should be present.
Upon entering the throneroom and
seeing the general In full uniform,
surrounded by his brilliant staff, with
the accessories Of splendid tapestries,
laced ushers and all the pomp and
splendor Of these Spanish functions,
the provincial grew pale and, kneeling
in deep humility, exclaimed:
'This is indeed my generalw
So impressed was he that the fol-
lowing morning he sent pair of hand
some horses to the general with a note
which read:
my general, yesterday I liked you
so much in your uniform of gold that
| send you this pair of horses, but do
not use them when you dress in q
white suit"
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
A Water of Special Value,

While Sir William Harcourt was
travelling in the highlands with Lord
John Russell and other friends they
were one day crossing Scotch loch.
and in course of some conversation
with boatman, from whom they were
trying to elicit information as to his
views on the beauty of the surround
ing landscape, the man assured them
that the water of the .loch had a spe-
cial value. When asked to explain
what 1t was, he remarked that it had
the reputation of making the finest
toddy in Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Her Directions,

A Fifth avenue photographer is tell
ing the story of an incident which
amused him, though it involved a COM
pllment which he missed.
A woman came into the building and
asked if the best photographer in the
city had studio there, with hair
dresser's establishment under it."
"You are in the right place. madam"
returned the elevator man, who was
questioned, "for this is the best pho
tographer In the city, though there is
no hairdresser in the building
The woman rose with a sigh. 81
suppose l have made mistake" she
said. IL wanted the hairdresser."-
New York Times.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Poor Richard,. Bread Box.

Benjamin franklin was a hearty eat
er in the good old days before the
vending of lightning rods became a
profession. When history caught one
of her first glimpses of him, he was
eating a roll in the street. After he
laid the cornerstone of the Pennsyl-
vania hospital in the happy reign of
George II, he was a frequent visitor In
the halls Of that institution. His Ia
bors there being arduous, it CHANGED
that he frequently fell hungry at work.
He appeared at the hospital gate
one day with big tin box under his
arm. Disregarding the gaze Of the Gu
rious, he marched through the cor
ridors to the dispensary, brushed aside
a few cobwebbed beakers from a shelf
and in their place planted the tin box.
What might this beP queried his
friend DR.. Rush.
'This," said Ben Franklin, SIS Poor
Richards bread box. Help yourself"
The box was filed with penny cakes.
When the supply ran out, Ben Frank
lin bought more cakes. That was $50
years ago.
Since Franklin's time, new hospital
buildings have crowded the old out
of existence and the hospital has
grown to be one of the most noted In
the world. Yet an old tin box, much
battered and denied, stands on a shelf
in the drug room, and 1t contains cakes
and ginger snaps. Whenever the resi-
dent physicians or nurses visit the
room they go to the box, take out a
cake and eat When the cakes are
gone, the hospital steward charges the
box afresh.-Philadelph Press.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
N tbe Intere.t of Accuracx.

At meeting of the Mansfield House
settlement Mr.. Percy Alden. the ward
Pm. told a story of the mother Of
Robert Louis Stevenson. The widow
of the novelist was telling how, In the
island Of Samoa, the old lady had
taken walks with a native chieftain
who had killed thousands and eaten
hundreds" "Oh, FannyV exclaimed
the novelist's mother in horror, you
know it was only 11"-London Chron-
lpln
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
The Point of View.

The squire (sympathetically)-Pm
very sorry to hear that your husband
is at the point of death, Mrs. Hodge,
but you must try and be cheerful, as
you know 1t will be all for the best.
Mrs. Hodge-Ah, yes, indeed. sir;
it'll be a blessing when 'e's gone.
I'll be able to live in comfort then, as
l ave i'm In four different clubs
Judy.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
A Freak.

Bass-Styles' wife is terribly plain,
and she does not appear to possess any
compensating attractions, and yet
Styles evidently thinks the world of
her.
Fogg-Styies is an odd stick. When
he was a schoolboy, he was actually
fond of mental arithmetic. - Boston
Transcript.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Why He Preferred to Stay.

Landlord-You will oblige me by pay
ing your rent, now three months over
due. Unless you can pay you must
move. Or is the rent higher than you
can afford? In that case we might
perhaps
Tenant-No. think I'd rather stay
right along at the present rate than
be obliged to face the alternative Of
pay or move.-Exchange.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Hia Pointed Remark.

81 frequently hear you say that mon
Py talks" she remarked.
yes; it Is an old saying and true
Dne," he replied; but, unfortunately,
while money talks, all that talks is not
money"
"Why do you say unfortunately 2 F"
she asked.
Because If that were So" he an
swered, 81 would be married to fab
ulous fortune."-London Fun.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
A CouuIe of RuIIa.

An advertisement recently published
In a newspaper in Ireland set forth
that Michael Ryan begs to inform the
public that he has a large stock Of
cars, wagonettes, brakes. hearses and
other pleasure vehicles for sale or
hire"
This is the same paper which. in q
glowing description Of funeral. an
nounced that Mrs. B. Of C. sent a
magnificent wreath of artificial flowers
In the form of a cross"
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Appearances.

They have called to solicit the firms
assistance for local charity.
Greene-Suppose we ask this gentle
man that is coming up the aisle.
Gray-No; he's dressed too we'll, and
he has too much the air of enterprise
and activity. He is undoubtedly an un-
derling on small salary. We will tac-
kle that slouchy looking, woebegone
little man at the desk. He is sure to
be the head Of the establishments
Boston Transcript.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Care In Powder Mills.

The garments Of workers in powder
mills are pocketless, so that they can
not carry knives or matches, or indeed
anything. and are made of noninfam-
mable material. No one is allowed to
go about with trousers turned up at
the bottom, because grit is collected
In that way, and the merest hard speck
Is dangerous.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
The Enulnaxea.

The equinoctial storms are no longer
believed in by scientific persons. The
aquinoxes are the dates of the year
when the sun crosses the equator at
one of the equinoctial points. They &C.
cur about March Fl and Sept Fl, and.
though storms have been known to oc-
cur about those times. they are no
longer considered as due to the per-
fectly natural occurrence Of the cross
Ing.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
A Witty IrIshman.

Some friends of Archbishop Whately,
after dining with him, asked him to
show them a specimen Of Irish wit.
Taking a stroll in the street, he inquir-
ed Of crossing sweeper which of the
two the devil would take If he was
obliged to secure one Of them.
"Ppase, yer reverence, ask Father
Mallory yonder."
mo; want your opinion"
"Och, yer reverence, I'm sorry to say
he'd take meP'
"And why so, TerenceT
"Och, because he's sure of yer river
ence at any timer
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Try 1t.

One can hear better with the mouth
open than shut, fact which may be
verified by stopping the ears while
passing through railway tunnel and
alternately opening and shutting ones
mouth. The increase in the volume of
sound while the mouth is open must
be experienced to be appreciated. 50.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
Rapid Transit Returns.

81 wouldn't be guilty of doing a favor
for a man and then in a day or two
asking him to do one for me-"
mo, nor l. I'd ask him right straight
off, before bis gratitude got chance
to ool."-Indianapolis Journal.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

One day of sickness will do more to
convince a young man that his mother
Is his best friend than II volumes of
proverbs.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

A kitten has been brought up on an
exclusively vegetable diet by a family
of vegetarians. The result is that 1t
viii not touch animal food, and 1t pays
no attention to rats or mice.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

consequence OF self abuse and excess produc-
ing the following symptoms: Sallow counte-
nance, dark spots under the eyes, pain In the
head, ringing in the ears, loss of confidence,
dimdence IN approaching strangers, palpitation
loss OF memory, pimples on the face, coughs,
DIX. GiBBON has practiced in San Francisco
over ~ years, and those troubled should not
1ail to consult him and receive the benefit Of
MS great skill and experience. The doctor
cures when others fail. Try him. Cures guar
anteed Persons cured at home Charges reas-
enable. Call or write
DIR. J. F. GIBBoN, 6a5 Kearney street, San
Francisco Cal.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

The romantic vision Of the first half
of mans life is the most real survey
Of earth he will ever make.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11

"Come easy, go easy" is an ancient
saying, and good resolutions don't cost
anything.-Cnicago News.
Amador ledger., 1901-01-11
TO THE UNFORTUNATE
DIR. GIBBoN

This old reliable and
themost successful spe-
cialist in San Francis
co Stillcontinues to cure
all Sexual and Seminal
Diseases,suc as Ghon-
orrhea, elect, Structure,
Syphilis in all its forms
Skin Diseases, Nervous
De bifity, Impotency,
Seminal Weakness and
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-12-24
TRAINS ARE TIED UP
Service on the Burlington
and Milwaukee Democrat
lied.

Morning trains on the Q and Mil
waukee roads were in a badly demon
allied condition this morning. owing
to various causes. In the first place
both the north and south trains on
the Q were late from the rush of hol-
iday business along the line. Then
No. As from the north was further
hindered by an accident. so that il
was fully two hours behind time when
it pulled into Rock Island. In the
meantime people who had gotten up
early and gone to the station without
their breakfast had grown rather
impatient.
Then the early morning freight out
of the three cities on the Q met with
an incoming freight on the Milwau-
kee at the Terminal junction at the
foot of Thirty-eighth street and there
was a collision on n switch in which
the Milwaukee engine struck the @
way car from the side and knocked
il off the track, blocking the tracks.
This was the cause of holding both
the trains on the Milwaukee and the
st. Louis train on the Q till they were
considerably over an hour late. The
material damage in the collision was
slight.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-12-24
on FueI for I,ocomotives.

One of the railroads on the Pacific
coast has been experimenting with
oil as a fuel for their locomotives il
place of coal, and if it proves n sue
cess will be adopted. While there
may be some doubt as to the success
of this new fuel, there is none con-
corning the curative value of Hos
letters Stomach Bitters. 1t has
been given n thorough trial during
the past fifty years and has never
disappointed any sufferer from dys-
pepsia, Indigestion, constipation q
biliousness who has given it fair
trial. What it has done for others in
the past il will certainly do for you
now. Try a bottle and you VIII be
convinced. The genuine has or
Private Die Stamp over the neck OF
the bottle.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-12-24
MAYOR ACTS HOST
Entertains City Officials and
Employees at Dinner
Last Evening.
PRESENTS FOR MR. KNOX AND CLERK
Each Receiving an Easy Chair From
the Guests-Season of
Happy Speeches.

Mayor Knox was host at an inform
al spread given at Turner hall last
evening to the city officials and en-
ployes. Only twoof the<attaches of the
administrativeandl legislative branches
of the municipality failed to avail
| themselves of the invitation and
those present numbered nearly .;Nty.
Ont of regard for the convenience
of the police the hour set for the be-
ginning of the feast was $50, in or
der that both day and night men
might be present. At that time the
three hose companies. with their en-
tire fire fighting apparatus, drew up
ut the hall, prepared to eat and run
If necessary. Some of the aldermen
were slow in arriving, however, and
it was near before the party assem-
bled about the four tables that had
been arranged by Manager Kautz in
the dining hall on the second floor.
The mayor, aldermen and other
officials were placed at the south
table, the policemen and representa-
tives of the press were next, then the
firemen and at the north table sat
those who came in late and were I'M
able 10 find seats at the other tables.
When all were in place the mayor
teTsely declared that the subject ne
fore the house was open for discus
sion and everyone fell to with an
avidity equal to that shown by the
board of aldermen in considering an
appropriation ordinance. The com
parison must not. however. be car
ried to the question of quantity on
hand for distribution, for the viands
were ample and TO spare, and as to
quality, of the very best.
Gifts From Police and FIremen.
When the last course had disap-
peared Chief of Police DarnelI passed
the cigars and City Attorney Scott
took the floor. The latter, after
briefly outlining the advantages of So
cial occasions in which city officials
may meet and bury animosities,
thanked the mayor on behalf of the
guests for the hospitality extended.
After n complimentary reference to
the corps of officers and city en-
ployes, in which Clerk Schaffer came
in for the lions share, Mr.. Scott, in u
few we'll chosen words presented the
anu WIN an easy
chair. the Christmas remembrances
Of the fire and police departments,
After the recipients had accepted
the tokens there were brief addresses
by Police Magistrate G.. \. johnson,
Health Commissioner Joseph DeSilva
and Aids. n. G.. Anderson and F. +.
Robbins.
There are those in the republican
ranks in Rock Island who are so
cruel as to intimate that the ban
quet was promoted by the mayor in
order to solidify the varying munich |
pal interests in behalf of his sena- |
torial candidacy, but nothing to in |
licate this developed on the surface.
There was nothing in evidence to |
show that ii was anything other than |
a little mutual admiration feast.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-12-24
Model RottIinR works.

To accommodate the ever increas-
ing demand for their famous pro
ducts, the Anheuser-Busch Brewing
Assn, st. Louis, Mo-, now have IN
course of construction an immense
bottIing establishment.
a handsome structure covering an
area of 700 by 400 feet (about fuII
cik.- bIocls) equipped with the best
and most modern machinery, will he.
when ready for operation, the largest
and most complete bottling works N
TIE world. the "Budweiser" depart
n,eDt alone having a capacity of a
million bottles day,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-12-24

A. j. Smell wanted to attend party
but was afraid to do so on account of
pains in his stomach, which he fear
ed would grow worse. He says, Il
was telling my troubles TO a lady
friend, who said: "Chamberlain's
collc, cholera and diarrhoea remedy
will put you in condition for the par
ty.' L bought bottle and take pleas
ure in stating that two doses cured
me and enabled me to have a good
time at the party" Mr.. Smell is a
resident of Summer Hill, n. Y. This
remedy is for sale by all druggists
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-12-24
A Good Cough Medicine

(From the Gazette, Toowoomba, Australia.
1 find Chamberlain's Cough Rene.
dy is an excellent medicine. 1 have
been suffering from a severe cough
for the last two months, and it has
effected cure. i have great pleas
ure in recommending it.-W. C. Wock-
ner. This is the opinion of one of our
oldest and most respected residents,
and has been voluntarily given in
good faith that others may try the
remedy and be benefited, as was Mr..
Woclner. This remedy is sold by all
druggists