The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-01-04
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Shells your knee tired dear2 He
Oh, no. can't feel it at all now
Life.
Oats a queer hoss-shoe over your
door, Mr.. Johnsing." .Hoss-shoes Is
out Of style; OATS a automobeel tire
Chicago News
Mrs. -Shure. It's a gra-a-te
day fer us; me man Dinnis is wur-r-kin'
agln. Mrs. Hogan-Who?- COloradO
Springs Gazette.
But she got there: $50 he has at last
led her to the altary' Il don't know
whether he.led her or she pushed him."
indianapolis Press.
Il tell you what, there's a dark out
look for that young man" "WhyT
HE has night job in a signal tower"
Chicago Times-Herald.
4 zenas-The wallpaper in my room
has design with streaks of lightning.
How do you like II? Ephraim-It looks
like thunder.-Harvard Lampoon.
A Red-letter Day: The Stranger
How long have you been civllized2 The
Nauve-Ever since my home was burn
ed to the ground. and my wife and
children shot.-Life.
Time for Consideration: Miss Lulu
Finnigan-I will give yez me answer in
q month, Pat Pat-That's right, me
darlint; tex plinty av time to think it
over. But tell me wan thing now-win
it be yes or no?-Judge.
MY son, before you study history.
4 80
it." How is that attained3' by
practice. You must learn to discrimi-
nate between lies of doubtful origin,
and those which everybody has agreed
to accept."-Life.
First Theatrical Manager thought
you were going to put on The Winters
Tale" and now you are billing Mid
summer Nights Dream" Second Man
ager-Yes; didn't like the name OF the
other piece. 1t sounded too much like
a frost-Philadelphia Record.
The professors granddaughter was
looking at a halftone portrait of Prince
Albert of Flanders and the Duchess
Marie Gabrielle Of Bavaria. Who are
these people, grandfather" she asked.
Those are the Belgian heirs" replied
? the professor.-Chicago Tribune.
= A Sweeter Parting: $50 you wish to
D take my daughter away from me-" re-
marked her doting father. "Well-ah
that wasn't just exactly my thought"
/. stammered the nervous young sutton;
I my folks could perhaps spare me with
/ fewer pangs." Philadelphia Record.
House-owner-Yo didn't pay the
o rent last month. Tenant-Nc? Well,
e suppose you'll hold me to your agree
!, ment OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES agree
ment? Tenant-Why, when l rented.
you said l must pay in advance or not
. at all.-Columbus Ohio State Journal.
= Dye notice onny change since ye
e was here before. sorT asked the native
guide at the lakes of Killarney. How
d do you know l was ever here before?''
e asked the American tourist. Faith.
e sor, no man ever comes here thot hasn't
e been here before. "-Philadelphia Rec
Il ord
T Teacher-Jimmy, if you found eigh
teen pennies and another boy should
d take two-thirds of them away, what
, would each of you have? Jimmy-TC
have six pennies an he'd have a gOot
thumpin' less he handed back the res
.r of 'em mighty quick.-Glasgow Even
" ing News.
r A Literary Career: Friend-"What il
n your son doing now?" Lady-"He',
2 writing for the papers" Friend-"Oh
/ ne is doing literary work. is he?" Ladl
u suppose so; he solicits subscribers
-" and when they pay him the money b,
,r writes for the papers they want
n Detroit Free Press.
5. He Knew: Sabbath School Teache
Striving to inculcate a love Of TRUTH
a Now. Willy. suppose you were t
promise your mother that you wOull
le come right straight home from Sunda
II school, and then did not do so, wha
is would you be doing?" Willy Waters
Coin a-swimmin', ma'am. Puck.
Fair visitor-"SO you have really d,
% cided not to sell your house?" Fal
=, Host-"Yes; you see, we placed III
~ matter In the hands of a real-estat
=, agents. After reading his lovely az
- vertisement of our property neithe
"a John nor myself could think of partin
with such a wonderful and perfe,
. ome"-Tit- Bits.
N. We'll" exclaimed the persistent poe
I upon opening his mail. Il call that el
ev couraging." Have they accepte
ut something's" asked his wife. mo; bl
1d instead Of the printed rejection sill
the editor returns my Quatrain with
criticism in his own hand" "Whi
does he say?" He says; 'Herewii
ay we return your quatrain; it is t.
'ot long Elk.
~