davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18

There is nothing like Asthmalene. /; brings
instant relief, even in the worst cases II cures
when oil else fails
The Rev. C. F. WELLS, Of Villa Ridge, ILL.,,
says: Your trial bottle OF As hmalene received in
GOOD condition cannot tell YOU how thankful I
fell for the good derived from IL. | was slave
chained with putrd sore throat and asthma for ten
years. desplired Of ever being cured | saw
your advertisement for the of this dreadful and
tormenting disease. Asthma and thought you had
overspoken yourselves but resolved to Civ it a
trial. To my establishment. the trial acted ike a
charm. Send me full-s'zed bottle
REV DIR. MORRIS WECHSLER
Rabbi of the Cong Bnai lsreal.
New YORK, January B. 1901.
DRs TAFrs Bros. MEDICINE Co,
Gentlemen You Asthmaene Is an excellent
remedy for Asthma and Hay Fever and its com
position all, ,iates all troubles which combine with
Asthua lts success Is astonishing and wonderful
After having it carefully analysed, We can state
that Ssthmaene contains no opium. morphine,
chloroform or ether. Very truly yours,
REV. DIR. NORRIS WEC6sLER.
Avon sPaISes, N. Y, Feb l. 1901.
lal from a sense OF duty having tested the wonder
ure Of Asthma. My wife has been afflicted with
ndFinB cAhauSteu my OWN skill as well as many
your windows on 13Oth street, New York, lat once
wife commenced taking 1t about the first OF Nogem-
After us one bottle her Asthma has
m all symptoms. / feel that l can consistently
e afflicted with this distrs ssing disease.
ectfully, o. u. PhELl S. NJ d.
Feb 5, 1901.
thma for % years. have tried numerous remedies,
your advertisement and started witha trial bottle.
released your full. size bottle and am ever crate
ard for six years was unable to work am in the
'ey day. This testimony you can make such use
t. y. RAPHAEL
81 East 129h st., New York City.
7R z on REgEIPF OF PoSFAk.
.essing Dr. TAFT BROS MEDICINE CO., 70
all Druggist.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18
Biyas5-ShOf
For Tiger.

No use to hunt tigers with
bird-shot 1t doesn't hurt the
tiger any and it's awfully risky
for you.
Consumption is a tiger
arong diseases 1t is steathy
--out once started it rapidly
ea'5 up the flesh and destroys
The life. No use to gohunting
it 9TH ordinary food and med
ic.ac. That's only bird-shot.
1t till advances. Good heavy
G, rges Of SCOTS Emulsion
WI stop the advance. The
d;.ease feels that.
SCOTS Emulsion makes the
rs,ts issue body strong to resist. 1t
othes and toughens the lungs
Miss Louise '.s " Fsslstains the strength until
will be q ad 10 have ase wears itself out.
and see her. tcr free s1innle
TO PREVENT PNEU4s an .,5oi Z. s---.a
axativeIBromo Quinlne r.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18

Mrs. Nations hatchitatin and the
Hatchitating in ihs Navy Department
rather alike; both are more adver-
tisement than principle.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18

Balsarns from the Northern Wood
are in Pyny-Balsam, the certain cure FOR coughs
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18

After Harry Lehr's dog luncheon
there seems to be nothing left for New
port society to do but to hold a recep-
ton in the hen-house and invite the
hens.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18

Czolosz declares that he is glad he
shot the President II is fortunate for
b : worthless life that he is cased
mated in prison.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18
PASSES AW AY.

ErIsaz3s
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1901-09-18

Emma Goldman says that she is moi
"the" Emma Goldman; but the fact is
that just at present it is enough to'land'
her in Jail to he any Emma Goldman
at all.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
4 HOT TIME IN THE OLD HOME.

The following snake yarn is now
floating around among our exchanges.
II is rafting good lie for this early
in the season
Friday night Levi Dorton. who
lives in the mountains six miles east
of Morgantown, swore out a warrant
before Justice NJ. Hayes for the
arrest Of Edward Hart, a neighbor.
whom he charges with firing grass
and leaves, thereby burning his
fences and endangering his home.
Dorton, who is a typical noun
taineer, has a collection of rattle.
snakes, and says they swarmed
about his door rafting fercely, and
thus awoke him from a nap. When
he opened the door they glided in
and coiled around his legs, terrified
by the fire. He pacified them and
got them to uncoil, and then put
out the fire.
Ii is believed the fire was acct
dental but as there was a similar
occurrence last year Dorton is thor
oughly aroused. He lives in a home
his father built in 1880, and has one
OF the finest collections of Indian
relics to be found. lie is * years
old, but straight as an arrow and
vigorous.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
THE Sun HARNESSED.

The sun has been harnessed on a
California farm. The sun engine
resembles an enormous umbrella
lined with mirrors. Where the
stack would be is a tubular boiler.
The umbrella rests with one edge
on the ground and the other on a
tower. BY suitable devices it is set
at the proper angle to receive the
suns rays at all hours. AT sunrise
the umbrella is put in position. In
about an hour the reflected heat
has raised steam in the boiler. The
power thus generated operates a
pump lifting 1900 gallons of water
minute and also turns the UNI
brella as the sun moves. One man
can set the machine in the starting
position. After that its operations
are automatic.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

that adds to the enmity already too
plainly shown toward Americans by
all the powers in China except the
English. Ii was at an entertainment
given by English officers, and doubt
less Chahee had looked upon the
wine when i was red, but that was
no excuse for him. He was sent to
China on purely military Grand.
and YET he made a speech in which
he uscd the following language.
"Let kings, ministers and politi
clans say what they may, but ! can
tell you this, that never will YOU see
Americans and Britishers facing
each other in the field. Our nation
al policy may be to steer clear Of
International complications, but
should circumstance arise in which
we must make choice, our inclina-
ton viii be with Britishers." Ian
guage like that, used by the com
mander of the American troops in
China, was an uncalled-for insult to
every power over there except the
English, and Chaifee deserves to be
court martialed for it. But no off,
eial notice has been taken of it by
this government, and none is likely,
unless it be forced by the insulted
mowers.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
DEER PARK HOTEL,
Deer Park, Nd, Most Delightful Sum-
mer Resort OF the Alleghenies.

swept by mountain breezes 1880
feet above sea level. Absolutely free
from malaria, hay fever and mos.
quitos. Reached without change of
cars from all principal cities via
Baltimore & Ohio Railroad. Every
modern convenience. Rooms en-
suite with private baths. Electric
Lights, Long Distance Telephone,
Elevator, Turkish Baths, Swimming
Pools, Golf Links, Tennis Courts.
Bowling Alleys, Magnificent Drives,
Complete Livery service. Annapo-
lis Naval Academy Band. Hotel
remodeled with additional conven-
fences. All cottages have been
taken for the season. Open from
June aad to September goth.
For rates and information address
w. +. Burwell, Manager, care Queen
City Hotel Cumberland, Md, un-
til June Ist. After that time, Deer
Park, Garrett county, Md.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

A baggage agent on St. Louis
road reported to his chief on a
damage claim as follows: '1n re-.
gard to bicycle being broken by
calf jumping into it, would Just
say that this was very wild calf
and ] could not hold it. SO il
done about as it pleased and Jump.
cd into this bicycle with both feet,
and kicked both tires off, and bent
some Of the spokes, and calf BIZ.
cycle and al went out together.
These calves are given TO Us with
only rope around their necks, and
sometimes we have 10 or - Of
them at once, and 90 makes very
bad looking car to put baggage in.
Sometimes a vaiise that is not lock
cd comes open and the clothes are
spilled on the floor, and they arc
in a fearful shape by the time tho
calves get through with them. a.
Railway Age.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
PHILIPPINE GEOGRAPHY.

A soldier writing home to his
parents sends an interesting letter
describing the Philippine Islands.
The following is an extract there
from
"The Philippines are a bunch of
troubles on the horizon. They are
bounded on the north by rocks and
destruction, on the east by typhoons
and hurricans, on the south by
cannibals and earthquakes, and on
the west by sharks and smugglers.
The interior of these islands is com
posed of mud and mountains. The
Philippines are good present for
deadly enemy, and the climate is
pleasant for mosquitoes, ants, 'fless,
flies, bats, lizards, tarantulas, scor-
pions, centipedes, snakes, caribous
and alligators, and, by the way of
variety, there is also plenty of
smallpox, beriberi, dobile, itch,
leprosy, cholera and bubonic
plague. Malarial fever is so preya-
lent that on many occasions the
islands have been shaken by the
vibrations of the population. The soil
is rich, and produces large crops of
sugar, hemp, tobacco, rice, insur-
rection, disease, hell and foul
aromas. The total population Of
the islands, including everything, is
500 caribous, 5000, 900 people
800 roosters. Out of these
5000, 900 are nsurrectionists, 81
600, 900 amigos, and the rest are
gamblers and barometer drivers.
The inhabitants of the islands
are very industrious, their chief
industries being cock fighting, steal
ing and making bolos. The houses
and dresses of the people are very
attractive, and consist of trans
parencies and landscapes. The
Filipino wedding service is deeply
Impressive, especially the clause in
the ceremony wherein the bride is
given the privilege of working as
much as her husband desires. The
principal diet is rice, fish, rice and
fried fish, fish and fried rice, stewed
rice and boiled fish and fish and
boiled rice. The above statements
read like series of jokes, but they
are the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, so help me
Moses"
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

IL being rumored over at Black
Rock last week that we were dead
of pneumonia, the Gazette" turns
itself loose with a column obituary,
and about the most pleasant thing
it says of us is that we deserved the
title of the Rocky Mountain Ass.
We shall go over to the Rock some
day next week and compel the
Gazette" man to eat his paste pot
If we can find him. 1t takes heap
OF slamming to hurt our feelings,
but when dead we want to be let
alone.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
MAN

Man that is born of woman is few
of days and full of microbes. In
infancy he is full of collie and cat
nip tea, and in old age is full of
cuss words and rheumatism. In his
youth his mother taketh him across
her knee and sweetens his life with
her slipper, and when he is a man
grown the sheriff pursueth him all
the days Of his life. He eetteth
into Office and his friends cling 10
him like flies to a sugar barrel. He
swelleth with vanity and cuttcth
ice for awhile, but is hewed down
at the next convention and is cast
into the salt box and his name is
Dennis Out Of office and out of
friends he soon gets busted and
Heth down iu cow pastures besides
The still waters Of the brook. lie
dieth ont Of the world and goeth
where it is warm enough without
clothes. The last end Of that man
IS worse chan Che beginning.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

We do not know who Moses
Wheeler is, but he writes us from
Utah that he feels it duty to come
hither and bury us as soon as the
snow melts and the trails become
passable. Come on, Moses. We
have been hanging on the ragged
edge for the the last five years, and
if you can shoot us off well mention
you in our will.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

Mr.. George Parker, the popular
landlord of the Home Trail hotel,
reproved one of his guests the other
day for eating with his knife, and
George is now laid up with a bullet
In his shoulder. We have repeated
ly warned him against trying to
force the twentieth century down
the throat of Arizona, and perhaps
this will be lesson to him.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

The Boston "Globe" tells about
an Arizona editor who tried to
shoot out the gas in a Denver
hotel. We beg to deny that it was
us. We have been in Denver once
or twice, but we used wet towel
on the gas burner and made such a
success of it that 81 extra was
added to our bill. We know enough
about gas to know that shooting at
II only makes things worse.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

\ Georgia exchange is response
bic for the following: At a revival
meeting a man arose and said that
he was the wickedest man in town.
"I'd 60 to hell if should die to-
night" he concluded. Immediately
an old deacon started the hymn,
eff you get there before l do, look
out for me, Pm coming, too"
And then the deacon wondered why
everybody laughed.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

a statement should not go unchal-
lenged. About once in six weeks
we have to shoot at Alderman
Jackson to keep him in order and
repair, but with that single excep-
ton good order and great dignity
always prevail at our weekly meet
ings.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

We incidentally mentioned the
other week that Major Beamen and
his 20 cowboys were about as fine a
band of ruffians as could be found
in the cattle country, and we now
understand that the major is going
to open fire on sight We didn't
mean to hurt his feelings at all, but
we shall have an eye out as we turn
street corners and endeavor to
carry off the affair in shipshape
manner.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

The fact that we lead the choir
in the sunday singing az church
seems to be e knife in the side Of
our esteemed contemporary Our
bass voice rattIes the panes Of his
windows as hc SITS al home and
grit DIS teeth and wonders why
Providence does not remove us 10
realms above. We are sorry for
ihe old chap, Of course, but we
doni see how we can help bis case.
We arc only making use Of The
talents The Lord gave us.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
Dfopsy

starting in the feet or ankles
comes from a weak or diseased
heart-a heart that cannot keep
up the circulation. The blood
then settles in the lower limbs
where the watery portions ooze
out into surrounding tissues
causing bloat and swelling.
The heart must be strengthened
and built up before the dropsy
can be cured to stay; and the
best of all heart medicines is
DIR. Miles Heart Cure.
''Hoart disease made my feet
swell so that they had to be
lanced in several places One
bottle OF DR.. Miles Heart Cure
helped me and twelve bottles
worked O complete cure"
JAMES TRvSrY, Barnard, Mo.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

We believe it is generally con
ceded that Adam was the first man
created, but because we published
the fact last week in a line filler
Major Bascomb called upon us
Tuesday forenoon and stopped his
"Kicker" and shot three bullets
through our hair as we sat at our
sanctum table. He had somehow
got it into his egotistical old noddle
that he was the first and only man,
and he wanted no rival.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

81 understand you whipped my
boy this morning." the angry father
said, striding into the schoolroom
after the children had been dismissed.
N>'Yes, sir, l did" the terrified
teacher answered, "but | did not
whip him severely" "That's what
| am kicking about" he rejoined. F."
you didn't hurt him at all. Now
look here, sir, Pm one of the largest
taxpayers in this school district and
my boy is entitled to as good a whip
ping as you give any other boy.
Understand that If you slight him
again you'll hear from me in a way
you won't like. Good afternoon,
sir"
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

HaS- All the Ordinary Forms Kent
Constantly on Hand and Orders
FILLED Promptly. Special
Blanks Printed to Order.
Bay DEEDS Five Cents Each, 60
Cents per Dozen, or S4.o 90 per
Hundred.
pe1- Coal LEASES, Notice TO Tree
passers, Gas and Oil Leases.
Z onsta BILE Sale Bills, Title
Bonds, Bail Bonds, Appeal
Bonds, Bond for Stay of Exc
cution, IndemnifyiDg Bonds.
commitments, ETC., cent each.
P1~ SUBPGNAs, Attendance Bills,
summons, Justice and Consta.
BILE Fee Bills, Second Summons.
Executions, Dispositions, Alb
stracts, Venires, Writ of Fieri
Facias, and Any Kind of Justice
or Constable Blanks, 10 Cents
Dozen OF so Cents per Hun
dred.
RS- Commissioner Summons
Notices, Attendance Bills. No,
tees to Lien Holders and No
tary Blanks, Release of Trusts
General Release, etc., Cent
each or 10 Cents per Dozen.
Se5- Blank Receipt Books. ( 10
IS and IS Cents. Above we'll
bound and with perforated stubs
ReS- Pocket Ledgers, bound in red
leather and indexed, as Cents
zoo-Page Indexed Ledger.
well bound, IS Gents. Day
Books, 10 and IS Cents.
Gay Ink and Musoilage, s Cents a
Bottle. Penholders and Pencils
TO s Cents. Pencil and fnk
Tabs, S and 10 Gents. Box
Paper, IS to IS Cents. Weekly
and Monthly Time Books, (
Gents each.
bsD Blank Statement Tabs and Bill
Heads, s and 10 Cents. In.
velopcs, S Cents per pack
Type Writer Paper, all grades
Legal and Foolscap.
nsD Wedding Cards, Visiting Cards
Business Cards, Menu Cards,
Lodge Cards, Programs. rnw.
tations, Folders and Fancy
Cards Of all Designs. Fancy
japanese Napkins, IS Cents per
Hundred.
bt1- Call or Send your Order for
anything Blank or Printed at
The Argus Printing House,
Price So. Kingwood. w Va
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

Seventeen SO called bad men got
into row at Soda Springs the
other day over jumping match,
and each turned loose with at least
one gun and opened fire. Result,
one.nan wounded in the ear and
SO cartridges wasted. Arizona has
been kept out of the Union for the
last ten years by just such fascoes,
and il IS no wonder that all true
patriots have a pain around the
heart.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

The mail carrier over the Grass
Valley route got in an hour ahead
Of time Wednesday afternoon, but
explained the phenomenon by say
ing that for the last ten miles of the
ride there we're 70 big mountain
wolves following close at his horses
heels. Two carriers on the route
have been eaten by wolves or bears
within the last three months, and
no "expcditing" is needed on the
part Of the government TO get the
mails through in time at the pre-
sent writing.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
SOME ARIZONA
kCklETS.
The Great aud Courageous Western
Editor Comments on Local Matters.

Last Monday afternoon 50 Pine
Killers and a fighting dog came
over 10 this town with their hats
on their ears and hope in their
breasts, but two hours after their
arrival they were sick looking
crowd. 1t took our dog Brewer
just ~ minutes by the watch to
chaw their cur to strings, and our
share of the sroils amounted to SIS.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

We have been sharply criticised
and our courage questioned because
we permitted stranger with two
pairs in his hand to rake in pot
at Little Dicks poker room the
other night against our flush of
hearts. AS the muzzle of the strang-
er's gun was within an inch of our
nose when he did the raking and as
his foreiinger seemed to, be itching
to pull the trigger, we let two pairs
beat us and continued to live on.
We may play the ass now and then,
but we never play the fool, and we
shant lose any sleep over criticisms.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

A learned man who knew so
much it hurt, once hired a boat.
man to row him across a wide river.
On the way across he began to
interIogate the boatman:
"Friend, do you understand meta
physics?"
Devil a bit, said the boaiman,
and kept on rowing.
"Then one-fourth Of your life is
lost. Do you know rhetoricY"
"Not at all. "
"Then half your life is lost. Have
you ever studied mathematical"
mo"
Then three-fourths Of your life
is lost"
Just then the boat struck snae
and upset.
"Kin yez swim2 asked the boaiman.
"Alas, no, replied the philosopher
Sure, thin, the whole av your
life is lost"
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

The Baltimore News" says that
shooting and fighting are regular
part Of the common council pro-
cccdings Of Givcadam Gulch. Such
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

published on Monday. wodnes-
day and Friday. - a oomplst,
up to Cato daily newspaper.
threo days In The week, wi.h
All Important news OK the other
fous days. PTofuscly Illus
ifated, and filled with iutcroz,-
Ing reading Tor all who wish q,
Keep IN close touch with noUa
q the nation and world
- e = u lnr subscription
price, Sl.JO per year.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

Captain Silsbie is not murderer
as we stated in "The Kicker" two
or three weeks ago, and we hereby
extend a public apology and trust
that he may see his way clear to
accept it. His record shows BIZ
gamy, COW stealing and arson, but
we apologize just the same. We
have always been careful about
blasting a mans reputation and
whe never we have found ourself
mistaken have fastened to set mat
tiers right as far as possible.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16

trains Daily except sunday.
No persons carried on any other than
the trains named above, and stops only =,
stations designated ]. A. MARTIN.
Gent Supt
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
WEST BOUND.

stop ~ function for passengers.
NO ~ Is the regular accommodation going
west aud stops at All stations.
Trains marked s. stop regularly, and train,
stop. w wv
d. b. MAnrIs, Manager Passenger Traffic.
AL BoSAriELD. Ag't at Tunnelton.