Waterbury Democrat., 1901-01-25
TABLE ETIQUETTE.

Now, Toby was big, broad shou,- dered fellow, with ruddy cheeks and no manners. He wasn't entirely to blame for this lack, because his par ents before him had none, and the will lage of Topton, where he was born and reared, afforded few examples of polite men and women. But 1 was in- terested in the lad from the first day I saw him-he was mere slip of Q boy then-and I kept my eye on him as the years lifted his shoulders high above those of his playmates, until he was a man. Then suggested that he try his fortune in the city, and secured a situation for him in great business house. I had judged alright this time. In two years he had risen from an ob- scure place to one of trust and some importance, and his faithfufness and ability were often remarked upon by his employers.
 But, alas! his manners did not seem to improve as they should, especially his table manners. Cheap boarding houses do not afford especially fine tr1ning in etiquette of any kind, and soon l realized that Toby must be given some attention along this line, for any man who expects to rise in the world must know how to act, as well as when to act. So I began by giving a small dinner to some of my bachelor friends, and I invited Toby. He sat next to me, where 1 could speak to him without attracting at tention, and he made SO many mis- takes which We see made daily that l think to point out some of them may be helpful to other Tobeys.
 In the first place he arrived half an hour before the appointed time. He evidently had an idea that it would be a "free-for-all," with first come. first served" He disregarded the fact that his invitation said ''7 o'clock" and he didn't know that it is quite as inn proper to be too early at dinner as too late. and far less excusable. To arrive more than t n minutes before the hour is inexcusable, and five min utes is proper. But he was there and I had to hurry down to entertain him until the others came. He passed through the introductiOns fairly well, and his fine face and form attracted attention and caused favorable com ment. But I am afraid he lost the admiration of every man at the table before the meal ended, for there is no other place where the gentleman and the low bred man are so strongly con- trasted, and where the possession or lack of manners is so pointedly indi- cated. The table manners of gentle folk of all nations are more similar than any other of their customs, per haps, and I am sure Toby's would not have gained anything but censure even among the higher classes of cannibals!
 He started in by placing both el- bows on the table, then he played tattoo on a tumbler with a fork, which he later used to plan railroad, or something else in the line or en- gineering, on the tablecloth. Mean while he had not noticed his napkin, and. when 1 made q suggestive signal, he picked it up, flung it out to the breeze as if it were the flag of his country and tucked it in his vest. Hay ing succeeded in getting the napkin down to his knees, where 1t belonged, l hinted, sotto voce, that l should not object to his letting my friends know that he was not deaf and dumb. Con- versation is, indeed, as much part of a meal, and especially dinner, as feed is. and it actually aids digestion, but it also makes or unmakes the din- ner!
 Toby took the hint, but he made such a noise, slipping his soup from the spoon that the man addressing him became discouraged, and disgusted, too, 1 think when Toby asked for second helping, which kept the rest of the company waiting. He knows now that this is a most thoughtless and selfish thing to do. He added to the feature of the evening, however, Dy tipping the plate to an angle Of forty degrees, and his desire to lose not a drop gave me grave fears that ne would ask for Q third helping. 1 hou ciTnn th0l1Ohf often, how strange a thing 1t is that some persons eat each course at meal as if there had been nothing be- fore. and was nothing to follow. But let us return to Toby, who. by this time, had begun on his fish with a steel knife!-when no knife is needed at all, and steel and fish do not get along well together. A fork, and a small piece of bread to be used as q "pusher' are the only implements needed. Toby insisted upon using his knife as the pusher, however. But 1 must give him credit for what he did correctly He did break off his bread in small pieces, and he did not use his fingers for the salt. But he was in such hurry-why, know not that by the time the vegetables were passed he had eaten all his roast, and the last mouthful he took on the end of his knife! He hadn't learned that q knife is cutter, and never q car rier, and that, when fork can be used to cut anything, knife is out of place. And, when the meat course was to be removed, instead of placing his knife and fork side by side on his plate, which is sign that one has lin ished. he balanced the one on the edge of the plate and used the other to en- phasize a point he was making. I know the man nearest to him expect ed to be speared, and I know, also, that the dinner was delayed several minutes because the waiter could not remove Toby's plate until he could take both knife and fork with 1t. Toby
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