Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-03-20
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Doctor-Didn't say he was to avoid
all excitement? Patients Wife-Yes.
that's what got him excited Brooklyn
Life.
'He has very breezy manner. don't
you think?" "Well, yes, If you refer to
the delight lie takes in airing his
views" Philadelphia Press.
q suppose you'll be telling people
that I'm a fool.' mo. dear. There are
some things we must keep to our
selves" Chicago Daily News.
A possible explanations: II wonder
why the Struts didn't invite us to their
daughters wedding?" Maybe they
didn't want us."-Chicago Record.
Jack-Don't you think that woman.
as rule. prefers man who is her
master? lEthel-Not at all. She pre-
fers one who thinks he is.-The Smart
Set.
Its mystery how all these wars
are kept up" What do you mean?"
why, SO many men quit and come
home to lecture nbout them. Chicago
liecord.
Hodd-Hang 1t all! Do you suppose
I'll ever make good goif-player2 Todd
(pityingly)- Never, old man. You think
too much of your family and your bus
Bazar.
If " (whose mare has just kicked a
member of the hunt, who was follow
ing too closely)-Oh, I'm so sorry! do
hope 1t didn't hurt you! She's such q
gentle thing, and could only have done
it in the merest play. you know
Punch. y
why did that young man leave so
SUDDENLY" asked Maud. at was my
fault" answered Mamie; II thought-
lessly got to talking about the beautl-
full autumn haze by the river. forgot
he was West Point cadet" Wash
ington Star.
His life failure: Yes, consider
my life failure" "Oh, Henry. how
sad! Why should you say that?" II
spend all my time making money
enough to buy food and clothes. and the
food disagrees with me and my clothes
don't fit."-Life.
Peddler-Wouldn't you like some mot
toes for your house, mum? It's very
cheering to husband to see nice
motto OH the wall when he comes home.
Mrs. De Jagg-You might sell me one
| If you've got one that says. Better
Late than Never"
Thwarted ambition: Hello, Boom
erleigh! l thought you were holding
down seat IN the Senate at Washing
ton!' mo; had a streak Of bad luck"
'How's that?" Just MS 1 got my legis-#
lators rounded up for the final vote, my
bank ailed."-Bryan's Comoner.
Mother Coming SWIFTLY Why. Will
lie!, Striking your little sister! Willie
tdoggedly) -Auntie made me. Maiden
Aunt Why, Willie! said II you did
strike her would never kiss you again.
Willie tstill doggedly) Well, couldn't
let 10 chance like that slip.-Tit- Bits.
A Jersey farmer visiting New York
stood looking at sign in bookstore
window: Dickens Works All This
Week for Two Dollars WAL" he re-
marked. my. 'pinion is that that Dick
ans Teller is either a mighty poor work
man or else he's confonnded hard up
for job."-Boston Courier.
Testing the theory: Mr.. Kerrigan-
Hape shtill foive minutes. for the love
av .hiyn! Mrs. Kerrigan (six children.
crying and fightlng)- Plat fer? Mr..
Kerrigan- OF want TO give this molnd-
cure book fair trial OIL want to SEQ
can OF convince mesilf thot there Is no
sech thing ez matrimony! Puck.
"JoEnny," said the little fellows
mamma. 81 want to give you piece Of
cake, but can't find the key to the
pantry" That's all right. mamma. !"
replied bright little Johnny; 81 know
how to get 1t without a key" That's
MI l want to know" she said, as she
reached for the slipper Boston Cour-
Ter.
What are you doingy asked one Of
his friends who had happened In. II
nm writing my resignation" replied the
professor Of something or other in the
proprietary university. What are you
doing that for?" Because am going
to make speech this evening In which
| shall probably express an independ-
ent opinion" Chicago Tribune.
i Rural Simplicity: Tourist Ito road
side country urchin)-Ah, my little
mani How brown and hearty you
look. l suppose you get up every morn
Ing and drive the cows to water.''
Urchin-D Don't have to. sir. Tourist
1 Why don't you have to, my lad? Urchin
I-'Cause, after milkin' the cows we
drive the ems to water.--Boston Cour-
1 Ter.
l. Pooling the other passengers:
.Clara, dear we've been careful SO far.
and II don't think they suspect we are
just married; you must scold lne q lit
| tie now as we get or the train.''
(Sharply and ina high-pitcbed voice.
"George, darling. when we get to the
hotel you must certain take OFF that
absurd lavender necktie!p-C Chicago
Tribune.
"Take my, seat, madam" She took
| 1t. About ten minutes later she re.
Unmarked: Thank you, sir. would
l!haye said It sooner. but the last man
thanked for giving me his seatina crowd
edtar had only got up because he want.
| ed to get of the car, and felt that be
had won my gratitude under falsespre.
lenses. made up my mind wasn't
going to let 1t happen again." Don't
Z mention 1t, ma'am." responded the man
i o1inDinp tn fho cfran l4-i
Il Then and Now.
She wassat.a party. He had not yet
arrived, but she was momentarily ex.
pecting him. The hum of conversation
through the room had no Significance
for her. all her faculties were bent on
the front door.
Every, time it opened, ut every step
in the hall, she would start, while her
face would flush and her eyes light up
with feverlsh expectation. Then the
1 = - 1.