Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1901-07-18
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\ nee more the Glorious Fourth
NV July has cum and gone:
! the 20eth century's first an

screamed ontil his throat got hoarse,
the dogs fit and the cats hair got rub
bed the wrong way" said Uncle Bill.
as he came into the EDITORS Office still
| full of enthusiasm.
ut was a Glorious Fourth. indeed. +"
| remarked the editor, land gloriously
we celebrated it."
Didn't we, though? An then the
small boy had his fun, too. | see
more'n a dozen as had their hands
| burned ter blister, but the most fun
NV all was ter hear Gale Parker tryin
| ter make a speech; how on earth they
ever engaged him ter make speech is
| more'n | kin tell Gale can't make
nuthin', let alone speech. He got as
| fur as 'Feller citizens. we have as
sembled here ter day. ter commemor-
ate our nations birthday all right, an
then he got ter reachin' after the eagle
in a manner. as would make a school
boy play hockey He means all right,
but he's in the timber: he's got a big
foller' in his head, as needs burnin'
out
why. Uncle Bill" said the editor,
Il thought Gale did all right
Eyes. it's jest such fellers as sum nv
| yer editors be as makes fools NV fellers
| like Gale Now Gale is a good Teller
an all that, but when it Gums ter max
| in a speech he's shy. The idea NV his
| sayin' the horse was a noble animal,
in Fourth NV July speech an"
why, that was all right. He said
! the horse was a noble animal because
he carried the father of our country
| Eyes. an the horse is noble that car
ries Thompkin's fool II sum horse
would kick Gales brains out, sum
other Teller would be sayin' the horse
was noble animal Now ! have got
| lots of love fer horse. but | don't
| like ter see i'm dragged inter Fourth
NV July speech by a Teller like Gale.
| | like ter see Teller when he gifts up
ter make a Fourth Nv July speech git
up an fire few shots Nv eloquence an
rhetoric shake his fist in under the
eagles nose an tell bout the way he
scars. from north ter south an east ter
west, an then after he gifts the ole
bird well started, let loose. an not
give eny burned school boys horses a
noble animal bizness, like Gale did"
! Il guess you must be little sore at
Gale, Uncle Bill" remarked the editor
mot durn bit: he can't help 1t: he
likes ter make a speech, an lot nv
people are jest like him, they likes ter
have i'm, cause he's Twin in the coun-
ty seat. an is lawyer. But things are
different now than they was when |
was boy; then we used ter have
Fourth of July celebrations what was
celebrations We'd git the anyils out
al make things ring at sun-up an git
every one chock full NV noise an en-
thuserasm. an then at night we'd git
sum tar barrels an build big bon
fire on the hill an then we'd heat sum
big cast iron kettles red hot an roll
'em down the hill inter the mill pond,
an when they would strike the water
yer could hear the eagle scream fer
sure. We didn't have much time. ter
listen ter sum durn fool, talkin bout
| a horse bein' a noble animal then,
cause we was out fer a good time, an
we had it. too
ooh, no doubt OF that Uncle Bill. but
people seemed to enjoy themselves this
Fourth all right"
"Of course. they did. Yer kin take
a crowd an let 'em listen ter Gale
talk fer an hour an a half an they
could enjoy funeral after that. I've
cum ter the conclusion that the com
mittee got Gale ter speak sost the peo-
pie would enjoy the rest NV the sport
better'n they otherwise could have
done"
What was that yop fellows did to
O'Fallon, the Fourth"
Say. when it Gums ter passin' fun
| round on the Fourth Of July yer kin
most always notice that We have a
purity good platter nv il. Wall, ORAL
| lon Keeps purity straight except on st.
Patricks day an the Fourth. an "A few
other days: but on the Fourth. he
generally spends his money fer fire
water. stead NV firecrackers, an IL us
ually puts him ter sleep leetle mite
early
1T is too bad that O'Fallon will get
his jag so often said the editor, for
he is first rate fellow"
Hes all right from his head up. an
he'll make good on the Fourth even
at that, cause he'd stand on his head
! II sum Teller would ask him to-
"Oh. not so bad as that Uncle Bill2'
| Eyes. an worse. Why, he's the
! dOg-ROn d-est 1901 yer ever see, HDeH
| he gifts his celerbratin' clothes on, but
bout the Fourth when mite cum, Nv
course every one was enger ter see the
| fireworks, an i will say this fer the
committee, they spent the hull seven
dollars fer fire works jest as the bills
said they would, an that's cause they
| had Zeb Bowen on fer one NV the com
rnittee Zeb may have his faults. but
he honest I've known Zeb ter walk
hull mile ter git two cents more a
/ bushel for pertaters. He was too hon
est ter sell en- fer less cause he knew
I they was good pertaters."
There Is no doubt. Uncle BIZ. about
] Zeb's honesty. know that for took
I some Of his potatoes once for years
subscription.
Eyer did? Wall, ! guess that was
bout a stand off. cause Zeb's honesty
would have a terrible shock, II he
didn't play even. on deal Nv that
kind; but ter return ter O'Fallon. AZ
ter the fireworks was over we found
4 him fast asleep down berhind the liv-
cry barn. an We all like O'Fallon an
was sorry he'd missed the fireworks.
I an NC want m an bought gum redfire