davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
4 PRACTICAL JOKE.

Not a few clergymen would be glad
to be the victims Of such a. practical
joke as was recently played upon the
Rev. Mr.. Hageman. the story Of which
appears in the Oxford (Mich.) Lead r.
At the annual meeting of the Congrega-
tionaI church the question of hiring a.
preacher comes up for discussion. At tae
last meeting of this society, when the
subject was brought up, a good deacon
arose and SAID:
'All those in favor Of retaining Elder
Hageman for another year, at the same
salary, will please rise"
Not q person rose, and the minister.
who was present, felt as uncomfortable
as possible and earthly wished himself
anywhere else. Then the good deacon
wno had put the question arose aga.u.
and said, with twinkle Of the eye:
Il sec no one faVo-s that motion. so
will put it again in this way: All those
IN favor Of keeping the Rev. Mr.. Haee-
man at an increase Of salary VIII please
rise"
Everyone got upon his feet Then it
cawned upon Mr. Hagenan that he had
Teen the victim of a joke, and a smile
hShJed his eyes and the color returned
to his caeeks. Some Of his best friends
had Planned the surprise, and the little
scheme had worked 10 perfection.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

central factor Man is selfish; he loves
his own pleasure. His motive. whether
good or bad, depends upon that in which
he takes delight. Listen: 1 find myself
lonesome, struggling with a gloomy day.
The outside world is somber and de-
pressing. Books have lost their charm
l am alone with my thoughts. Restless
1 pace my room and gaze idly into the
garden. There hangs a beautiful white
rose. On its slender stem it hangs-an
embodiment of purity and beauty. On
its petals the rain drops glisten like
jewels. 1t is one of natures subtlest tri-
rnphs. To me it IS a delight-a joy Do
you think I will tear It from it's support,
deface its beauty and drag It in the mud.
simply to show my strength? What
would be my motive?"
They are still the best Of friends, and
she walks and talks with him, notwith-
standing he is married man.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
NEED OF BEtUTIFUL BUILDINGS.

Harper's Weekly
We may learn in time that a city can
not affond ugly architecture any more
than it can afford unsaEitary conditions
or inadequate trans facilities. 1T is not
wise to underestimate the influence 0f
material surroundings on our lives. Who
has not felt the depressing effect of
mean and sordid environment or tha
thrill Of delight experienced on entering
a noble building or standing amid the
artistic splendOrs Of a scene like that u
the white City" at Chicago I'm 1893? Ar
chitectural beauty is one of the chief
sources Of the popularity and prosperity
OF such cities as Paris, Berlin, Ven ce and
Vienna; it is worth millions to them as
their citizens and rulers are well aware
Monuments and fountains esplanad S
and embankments and arcades are there
looked upon as sound investment Of
the public funds The experience Of the
Chicago and Omaha expos tiJns proves
that the same thing IS true in this COM
try. 1t is safe to say that nine-tenths Of
their visitors found their keenest pleas
ure and most vivid Impressions to have
come from the contemplation Of the ms2-
nifcent architecture Of these fairs; it was
this which drew and fascinated the
crowds. far more than what was to lie
seen within the buildings
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
sE0wING THEIR LITTLENESS.

Thellatest development in the Sampson
schley incident affords another illustra-
ton Of the facility with which the ma
tionaI administrator can involve itself n
q disagceeable and d.screditable position
and Of the exereme difficulty always at
tending its release from such position.
1t is to its persistence in a false and un-
tcnable position that the administration
owes It that it is regarded at the present
moment as assailing the very basis of
our const.tuti- nal system. From the be-
ginning the attitude of the naval authori-
ties, sacked up by the executive depart
ment, has been one of virulent and re-
morseless effort to ruin Admiral Schley.
The results wrought are the reverse Of
those sought. 1t is not Schley. but the
administl auon and department pet,
Sampson whose ruin has been accom-
plished
1t is a shame that an able and other
wise DlameIess public officer, like Admiral
Sampson, should be made the victim of
his friends and his own folly and bitter
ness. Sampson commanded at Santiago.
His control Of the situation with reference
to Cervera's fleet was complete. His
management of the campaign had been
admirable. He was beyond reproach and
beyond criticism. His first assault on
Schley, a brother officer, might have
passed as a mere expression of an unfor-
tunate nervous condition, brought about
as seems to be the case by excessive at
tention to his professional duties But
when this was followed up by the intima-
ton, backed up at every interval by the
entire force of the administration, to the
effect that Schley showed his heels to the
enemy at Santiago. the affair assumed
national proportions and was universally
accepted as mean vindictive and NOR
ally murderous assault made upon an
unoffending gentleman, because Of his po-
HticaI beliefs.
1t would have been the very consumma-
tion Of disgrace and humiliation had the
volume Of history in question been adopt
cd as q text book at Annapolis, or had
the official sanction Of the naval depart
ment been extended to it. The fact that
the author holds a. job as a sort of super
numary in the navy department, evident
" supplied in order to enable him to car
Fy out his literary undertakings, adds
considerable probability to the view that
he has been hired by the administration
70 do his job of so-called history That
the preceding volumes should have been
adopted as text books reveals the cloven
hoof of politics, and gives in itself oonsid-
cradle color to the belief that the admin
ist alton is behind the present attack on
schley.
1t does not make the case against the
administration any worse for the editor
Of the Baltimore American to make such
an exhibition OF himself in connection
with the wrong done Admiral Schley. IN
deed it helps, rather. to cover up the
naked shamelessness of the transaction
in all its features.
The episode is of value chiefly for the
revelation it makes of vindictive little
ness of the presidents kitchen cabinet
an aggregation which, by the way, seems
to include the leading lights of the ad-
ministration.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
Play Day for- n. Dc rnris.

Cleveland Plaindealer.
Monsieur has celebrated the fall Of the
bastiie wita ali his accustomed gayety.
IT IS doubtful If he actually wasted a.
thought on the downfall OF that gloomy
OLD monument Of Gespotic days.
His time was fully taken BY the pleaa-
ant entertainment wise pateTnaI gov
G, nmcnt had prepared for him. fife
danced 70 free music in the squares and
open spaces, he was delighted with the
brilliant ilIuminatiOns and he CheeraI
himself hoarsc over the free fireworks.
In fact. monsieur behaved Ike the ch ld
he Oftentimes is and danced and laughed
and made merry and forgot his cares.
and all because some stOut-hea-tcd te--
lows arose in their alarming might and
stormed and emptied a dingy old prison
something Ike n century ago.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
TGIoI< NO CHANCES.
TId-Bits.

Tid-Bits
A north country miner, aged Is, visit
ed q lawyer to make MS viii. The old
mans property consisted of two small
cottag es, which had cost him &150 The
lawyer asked him how he wished to dis
pose of it.
'Maa aud woman is to have it all 50
lang as she's ma widow, after that BARNS
to hev all, replied the client
What age is your wife," asked the
lawyer
''Seventy-two, was the reply
How long have you been married?"
over fifty years.
The lawyer suggested that under the
circumstances he should let his wife have
the little property during her life, wheth-
er she remained widow or not
IA winnot, IA winnot," exclaimed the
old man; "Aa'u hev ma ain wey"
But surely you don't expect an old
woman now over 70 would ever dream
of marrying again"
The miner looked the lawyer in the
face and answered very solemnly:
Wei, sonny, tnor's ma knowing what
young chaps like yOUrseI will dae for
siller.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
We Must Buy if we Sell.

Sioux City Iribune
Secretary Wilson's idea is that we VIII
presently be able to raise tea. coffee,
sugar and everything else that we now
import, right in this country He cali
culates that in a few years we will not
have to buy anything abroad, and Will
be strictly an exporting country That
is all very pleasant, but when we buy
nothing abroad what are the foreigners
going TO buy from US? The United States
can't do all the business in the world
neither can it do all the selling and
none OF the buying.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

DR.. Rodermund.1 the Appleton. Wis.
physician who creafed such CONSERVATION
last winter by smeartng his face with
smallpox virus in order to demonstrate
that the disease Is not contagious, has
come to the front again by eating the
pns from the corpuscles Of 40 supposed
smallpox victim. After the second at
tempt he was quarantined by the au-
thorities OF Menasha, where he was in
attendance on his patient. It has devei-
oped. however, that the patient has moth
ing but the chickenpox, and the quaran-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

Miss Cora. Beckwitn. who SWAN the
English channel from Dover to Calais,
a distance of twenty-five miles, has an
nounced her determination to swim the
rapids below Niagara Falls on her back
Just why she wants to go through the
rapids on her back is not very clear
She may consider, her back as tough as
Graham's barrel Perhaps she is a can
vas-back who knows?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
SWEET FRIEEDs AFFAIR.

I.
Sweet friends afar, where the great hills
divide,
Remember mel
And II YOU feel a spirit at your side
When the bright day into the night hath
died,
Whisper you then: His love doth sti1
abide
Remember mel
II.
Sweet friends afar. in al the bloom and
light
Remember mel
Think | am yours. even in this land Of
blight;
That. swift as swallows are my thoughts
in flight
Think mat loved you in LIES lonely
night
Remember NE!
Atlanta Constitution
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21
Good Time for Reciprocity.

Boston AdVertScr.
The time to make reciprocal trade
treaties is the present while nations de-
sire eagerly the benefits of trade with the
United States. Just now foreign con-
suners want what Americans have to
sell. When other nations are able and
eager to satisfy the foreign demand IL
will not be SO easy as it now Is to ar
range reciprocal trade treaties. Yet when
that time comes il will be the very time
when the United States viii need thos,..
treaties for a continuance OF its OWL
prosperity.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

The suggestion that the waters of the
Red river be made to flow south in or
der to relieve the congestion during
spring foods is all right so far as re-
lieving the situation In times of food,
but how about the equally important
question of storing the water for times
of drought? -
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

The hottest day since-oh, since before
the war, they tell US. But 101 is not hot.
The matter of heat is all in your mind.
Mother Eddy assures us that 101 is no
hotter than 10 below. but we have got
used to thinking it is. Heat is nothing
but imagination. When we reach the
highest attenuation we will not feel the
heat. Heat is the consequent of an an
tecedent false assumption of the realness
OF something material and mortal" Thai
settles it. Don't you think?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

And 50 the Democratic headquarters
are not to be removed to Washington.
Well, it may be better not to get too
near the seat of political corruption.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

Maclay says he got his facts from
Sampson. No doubt he did. such as they
are. This time Sampson assaulted Schley
with the jaw bone of an ass, and no mis-
IA
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

The Times suggests that Schley demand
an official inquiry. This would be
proper move with Long at the head of
the navy department and Sampson still
in power, now wouldn't it? Schley needs
no vindication during this generation.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

DR.. ohage Is after the weeds of the
widow as well as Of the orphan. This is
right, for many a widow would be glad
to cut her weeds.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

Many days you nave fingered round my
cabin door. o hot times. come again
no more. A slight variation from the
old song
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

Absolute free trade with Canada. All!
how dare you affirm such thing, and
you in the district of the Honorable Page
Morris, too. Oh, it is scandalous. Wait
till we hear from the Duluth News-Trib-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

The machinists strike is becoming
beautifully less-it is vanishing into va
por. 1t is pretty hot weather to loaf,
anyway.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

1t was on one OF the suburban lines.
SIC p. M The car was full As the gong
sounded the start. two nicely dressed
young women got on the car and reached
for a strap, hesitated ana giggled I'm
mediately, two young things with caps
on the back of their heads with tousel
of hair hanging over their eyes, their
cbins supported by a four-inch cuff worn
as collar, arose and, with a grace Of
manner worthy of Chesterfield, surren-
6ered their seats.
Directly in front of them, hanging to a
strap was a coalheaver, begrimed with
the evidences of his days honest toll
His hair showed white through the
CRIME, telling of sixty years of labor
II. the front of the car sat a well-dressed
man evidently settled for a four-mile
ride. He looked up from his paper and
saw the workman standing. With no ap-
parent second thought, he arose, touched
the arm of the coalheaver and said
''Will you take my scat sir. you need it
more than 1 do?" The W orl1man thanked
him and with the apology, II am little
bACOB lOOn liiC oCelI. hoO4i4C itOpIt III
the car looked surprised. A certain law
yer said to the man next him.. Now,
there's man." And everyone in the car
knew whom he meant.
She was a beautiful girl of twenty
summers Chat is little hackneyed, but
I will let it go), bright, full of life, and
full of interest in all that life contains.
Her ancestors, together with her train
ing, perhaps, had left her somewhat mar
row in her judgment of the world. He
was stranger. a man of thirty-five, cuI-
tured, handsome. sympathetic, entertain
ing. and-a married man. They met. adj
mired and became the best of friends.
Together they walked and talked. A
week or two passed. and then one day
she met him with a naughty stare. When
asked for an explanation Of this marked
change, she replied: ST am told that
YOU are married man." well. my dear
young woman, did I ever say I was not?'
no. but you should have told me. Your
motives for remaining silent regarding
yourself could not have been right. It
was an insult to me-"
'SThe motive. yes. the motive is the
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

tine has been raised A good joke on the
doctor.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-21

1ys.z H. s 70 =
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14
Always a Demagogue.

The "Commoncr," Bryan's paper,
must be very common, when it re-
sorts to the stale trick of picking
up one, or even several, industries
and from the fact that they are suf-
fering from a temporary depression
attempt to prove that the country
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14
Pleasing DeIuSions.

"Present prosperity is a delusion
or at least ephemeral," says VIM. J.
Bryan in a late interview. That's
so, life is uncertain, death is sure,
riches have wings, it's sure to be
cloudy some day, but notwlthstand-
ing all this these little delusions,
like fve-cent hogs, hundred-dollar
horses, twenty-dollar calves, ten
cent cotton and twenty-five cent
wool, are such pleasing delusions
that the majority Of the people are
ready to cry: "Please delude US
some more" Clinton, Mo-, Re-
publican.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

An American humoIist has said:
"Be good and you will be lone
some" Come to think of it, did
you ever hear of Chanute man be-
ing lonesome?
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

EAUMoNT boasts of "Gushers."
ID Chanute has gushers, too;
And if you're from Missouri,
Why, we can show them you.
lola brags of "Scrsamers,"
Chanute has screamers, too,
And she's going to cut the ice
That they would like to do.
Chanute is up and coming,
She sets them all the pace;
With oil and gas to boost her,
She's bound to win the race.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Talk about towns growing +! A
Chanute man left his residence in
the morning, and when he returned
at night the residence number had
grown from 2I6 to 3I6, and he was
almost afraid to look at it the next
morning for fear it would be up in
the thousands.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Towns are judged by their news
papers, and one always expects to
find good paper in good town.
Perhaps this is the reason there is
always good TINES in Chanute.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Fred Hetrick was struck rather
hard by prosperity's wave. He re-
ceived, last month, nearly $500 as
royalty money from oil wells on his
land.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

timber with low price of productive
farming lands, do not forget to
mention that there is not cent OF
bonded Indebtedness on Neosho
county.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

1t is a good thing for Aggie that
Funston found the octopus first, or
Aggie might have been "baked in a
pie"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Oil experts claim that Chanute
has the best oil well yet found in
the state, and she has at this time
between twenty and thirty oil wells
as good as any in the state, and the
drillers are busy day and night.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14
Lulu Kennedy Trial.

The trial of Mrs. Kennedy, in
Kansas City, is attracting great
crowds of people and is a sensation
of the day. The defense is being
conducted on the insanity line.
The prosecution is laboring to es-
tablish a conspiracy around the
Prince family. Saturday, Mrs.
Kennedy collapsed and court had
to be adjourned till Monday.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14
6. ~.
DEWEY

her waterworks and natural gas
plant, her natural gas and oil wells,
must necessarily be the leading town
in Southern Kansas for the investor
and the homeseeker, and there are
no better farming lands in the state
than those around Chanute.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Chanute boys, it seems, do not
believe that we're to have no more
Fourths of july, as they are pre-
pairing to have a good time cele-
brating in the old fashioned way.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

generally is not prosperous. But
Windy Willie will always be dem
agogue whether he is engaged in
running for Office or publishing a
newspaper. In all of the reasons
given for the depression in the
textile trade not one of them has
any bearing on the industrial or
financial policy of the Government.
If Mr.. Bryan was hunting for evil
dence of prosperity he could have
found 1t a great deal nearer home
Lewistown, Mont, Argus.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The Chanute brick plants are
turning out splendid quality of
BRICK and there is big demand for
them from all over the country.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

A lady writes a complaining letter
to the writer about the "male ar
rangements in the Chanute post
office; they might be better"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The SantaFe is making some val
liable Improvements in Chanute and
so are many of her citizens.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

In writing to your friends in the
north or east of many good things
in the way of gas, oil, water and
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14
Bad Scrape.

Howard Martidale of Madison,
Kans. has been arrested under
charge of assault upon a Mrs.
Stanley, wife of one of his tenants.
The story goes that Martindale had
been drinking and carousing with
his hired men and while drunk
climbed on porch and got into
Mrs. Stanley's room. Mrs. Stan
ley was so badly hurt a physician
was called. Howard Martindale is
the son of VIM. Martindale of EN-
poria bank fame.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

A Chanute young man, it is said,
has conceived the queer notion OF
trying to look Cross-eyed. Goo goo
eyes would look better.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Does Pan American mean that all
have plenty of "tin'"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Chanute is known as busy town
all the year around, but along about
these days the chiggers render it
hard scratching to live.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Very few cats have "silent dis
positions" when one is tired and
wants to sleep.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The Chanute planning mill is an
institution of which we may all
feel proud.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The question is asked, why bell
is not better than a whistle as fire
alarm? 1t all depends. A red
headed Belle might set the town on
fire,
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The two bilious Southern SEN
ators might do better to follow the
example of the two famous govern
ors and conclude it was time to take
a drink together.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

St. Louis is in deep water over
the choice of site for her coming
great fair. We can show them any
number of eligible sites around Cha
mute without a bit of trouble.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The citizens in the south part of
town are anxious for the new ice
plant to start up. We expect the
weather to be cooler when there is
so much ice in the north.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Strangers are becoming so thick
in Chanute that some days there is
hardly elbow room on the streets.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

A young lady of this city dropped
a valuable ring few days ago, and
it was Immediately picked up by
chicken belonging to a neighbor,
and now the neighbor refuses to sell
or kill the chicken. One could not
expect more from a man who lets
his chickens live off his neighbors.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

The powers have fixed the indem-
nifty clause against China at $50
million tsels. Now what do the
powers expect to do with that great
number of Chinese tails9
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

Chanute, located in one of the
best counties and the best state in
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

There are some men in Chanute
who are not known as "women's
rights men, and yet everything they
possess is in their wife's name.
Even their religion.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-06-14

With so much oil in and around
the town there should be no trouble
in the city council or in the board
of education.