Daily Kennebec journal., 1901-03-06

lightfuI exception TO Senefal cNpeii
ence when we find, especially ai'o"'
women q friend to whom we can SPEAK
with absolute frankncss and be sure
that what we say will never DC "
ne,tcd ,7sually it is the kindest. most
svmnathetic and loving natures VINO
are the most invcteratc Offenders IN
This matter This morning was hcaru
something SO intensely SorroW1ui, scch /
/, hcart-brcakinE confidence, WrunE
o,t Of the misery of some frightened
uirc or mother by the pressure of ncr
main Nv night the hearers SYM
ne +hies have so wrough. upon her
heart. that as the recipient of this sad
confidence she is in her turn burd"ned.
To her husband she says: Il am sure.
dearest that you will never speak or
this. and want you to know what a
terrible trial our friend Mrs. -- nas
to bear OF course. | would not speak
Of il to any ono but you.
There is not even u far-off idea that
this tenderly spoken revelation rs
violation of trust 1t is only giving
the sufferer one more true and faith
full friend to share her sorrow
4 curious impersonality appertains
in women's minds as to their husbands.
Il always tell Edward everything.
sufIices to make it right to hand
over whatever may have been IN
trusted to her womanly keeping. Ed
ward and she are one. How closely
wouId.thc wounded heart or perpleXed
mind. have kept their stories under the
lock Of self-rcstraint. had they sur
missed that a masculine judge would
weigh the evidence of wrong sustained.
How long would it have been before
those lips trembling with nervous dis
tress. opened to set before another
man the hardness of Il husbands s rule
or the dangerous dissipation of a young
som
The error frequently extends even to
the hrcd king of promise. without
troubling the consCienCCS of women
otherwise notably upright and sincere.
and who feel a sense of pride in their
power to be true friends. So long as
the GeCrct is divulged without intent
to iniure: if. as in the large majority
Of cases. it is repeated lovingly in sor-
row and sympathy for grief md
trouble. It seems to be Impossible for
the ma jority OF women to recognize
Il repetition of confidence as a breach
of trust.
1t would almost be safe to predicate
as q fact that in the common course of
daily life at least one day of every
week brings us in contact with some
sincere, earnest ~oman who says:
II promised not to speak of this. but |
know how much you care for Mary.
and am sure sou will keep it to your
self" Perhaps there is even an added
hope that you will do what you can"
to aid in cheering the sufferer. The
real purpose is to do good, and. strange
IS it scems when one analyses the
situation. the speak is totally un-
aware that she is violating every
principle Of good faith and perfect
friendship. She had listened lovingly.
she had passed on the secret in truly
loving spirit. and the question Of honor
had not even been moved in her an
suspcCtinC mind.
The habit of sharing everything be
tween husba ndS and wives is, in all
matters strictly personal to themselves.
an excellent result of their unity. but
it is a most unfair stretching Of the
privileges Of two hearts that beat as
one" to feel that it is right to make
over the property of another truStf;lliy
contided 10 their guardianship.
Nor is it Just to our sex to leave
this serious indictment al only to be ap-
piled tOthe wife; how often have secrets
Of great Importance. social rom-
mercial, political. all Leaked out" as
the expressive colloquialism phrases
il, through condolences viola ted in the
after-dinner chat of man with his
wife? The little pin-priCk of sus-
picion lit is rumored on the street"
the doubt of mans credit hear
wilkins has had to mortgage his
house how often have destructive
rents been made i'll mans reputa alton
hy the few quiet words said to a wife
~ evening. and confidentially re-
peated ncHt morning t. sister or
friend
There i an especially strange
elasticity regarding the responsibility
we incur when "" hear Of joyful
vents still held :ecret What harm can
there be in saying-to "one you trust
aS you trust yourSelf''-that the fam
lily think young Rodman is very much
in love with Dora -? What more
delightful than if they should he en-
Gagged? Yet such wbisperings, per
mancntly uttered. too often break the
delicate spells woven by admiration
and mutual tastes, and the voice Of
IN" speaker dspcls harShIy q lGvc-
dream which might have become 4
reality.
Condolences are, after their nature
things: we count them as unrcalities.
and not subject to law. because they
are lmmatcrial and cannot he seen or
tnurh he'd. Did our friend hand to US the
smallest coin and say that it was given
into ourprirate guardianship. We should
u" s"rcly distressed if it fell into other
hands. The imposition Of a trust
which involves the emotions. the dan
GERS. OF the JOYS IF a human heart is
held as z deposit at discretion: rarely.
indeed. does il happen but that some
other mind receives 4 share of the
treasure.
The unVeiling Of young hearts is con
Spicuously open to this treatment, and
one reason why our children. ana cs-
pecially our sons. SO seldom confidn
their deepest experiences 10 their par
ents IS the great uncertainty they feel
rs to the ultimate fate Of their ,on-
fcssions. mother certainly should
count the lichtcst confidence impaired
hy her son as inviolable in the scvcrest