Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-10-21

A few small coins-l would not need:
All work forgotten-off I'd stray,
Over the hills and far away.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Tho Ho and the She.
miss Slimsby's neck looks like
ivory, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but it's really nothing but
bone" ."-Brooklyn Life
A Sad Travesty.
Jaggles-"Do you think he's hon
est?"
Waggles-"Why, man, he's so honest
that everybody calls him crank"'-
Puck.
No Difference.
Mrs. Peterby-"My dressmaker's bill
was twice as large this year as last"
Mrs. Poplin-"I don't see how your
husband can afford it,"
HE can't. But then he couldn't last
year."-Life.
His Sympathy Aroused.
She met him at the door, all breath
less with excitement.
"John," she cried, "baby's cut a
TOOTH"
Poor little fellow" hereturned COM
miseratingly; "is it q bad cut"-Chi-
cago Post.
The Kind He Wanted.
"Young man." said the fortune teller,
going into a trance, 81 can see you, in
the near future, with an airship-"
"Make it an heirship to million,
can't you?" eagerly exclaimed Ardup,
slipping another half dollar into her
Tribune.
A Miraculous Survivor.
Hobbs-"Tubbs is the most remark
able man 1 know"
Dobbs-"In what way?"
Hobbs-"He weighs about $50
pounds, and according to his own
account he never eats anything and
hasn't had good nights sleep for
thirty years. Chicago Record Her
aid.
A Contrast to Avoid.
81 don't want to see Lydia when
she comes back from that summer
school,"
why not?"
"Oh, she will be bursting with
knowledge while the rest of US have
been sitting around here in the heat
forgetting what little we know."-De-
troit Free Press.
Ready For the Rush.
They had been drifting about in the
open boat seven days, and all were
near unto death, when the half-fam-
ished sailor in the bow leaped up and
cried "a sail! A sail!'
what. a bargain sale?" shrieked
the half-dead woman passenger, as
she began fumblirg for her purse
Baltimore World.
just What He Meant.
$50 you resolved to say just what
you meant to Miss Winnem," re-
marked Miss Cayenne.
"Yes," answered Willie Wishing
ton; 81 came out bodily and asked her
If she would be mine"
"Oh, that isn't what you meant. The
real question is, Can you be hers:'"
Star
Devious.
Wheeler-"I took that short G.? trip
you recommended. 1t was thirty
miles"
Sprockett-"Well" "
Wheeler-"Well you said it was
only fifteen miles as the crow flies"
Sprockett-"Ah! Maybe The crows
were full of corn the day you went"
Press.
A Profit in Sight.
"Yes," said the man who prides
himself on being exceedingly astute,
II lent him an umbrella"
I'm surprised at you! When his
about umbrellas Is one
Of his chief characteristics"
"Yes. But lent it with the under
standing that he is to bring me back
the one he gets in its place"
-.
A Pcssimistic Opinion.
"They say that in order to be hap
py," said the young woman who reads
q great deal, "a man ought to be a
fool OF philosopher"
"Yes," answered Miss Cayenne. "If
a man is a fool he can't get woman
to accept him. And If he is as wise as
are credited with being
he won't propose. ose."-Washington Star.
Busy.
"Young Mr.. Dawdles has become
very Industrious since he decided to
20 into business. His office hours are
from q. m. to G p. m.
"Yes." answered Miss Cayenne; 81
understand that he has had to raise
his office boys wages for staying all
that time to tell people that Mr..
Dawdle had just gone out, but would
be in at II o'clock next morning.
Washington Star.
HaDpy ThOuphf.