davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
BRIGHT BITS.

THE man who has learned how to
make love has a big advantage over
the one who hasn't" I'm what way?'
WELL no girl will ever trust him
enough to marry him" Life.
-Easy-"How do you manage to get
ahead of all your colleagues in secur-
ing important facts in a case?" ooh"
answered the great detective, that is
easily managed. / subscribe to a news
paper. Washington Star.
SO many of these city hunters
mistake us for deer" said the Maine
woodsman, that I am going to wear a
cowbell" But people will make game
of YOU" interposed his wife. well,
they'll make game of me if I don't
wear t"-Philadelphia Record.
Advertisements new historical
romance. Positively the great Ameri-
can novel! Written by Araminta Jean
nette Featherstone, with one hand tied
behind her! The nine hundredth thou
sand sold before the author had given
the book a thought, or. indeed before
she had written more than fifty chap
tiers! Profusely illustrated with nine
thousand steel plates having nothing
whatever to do with the story. and
twenty-seven thousand wood engrav-
ings only remotely bearing upon the
same! For sale at all dry-goods
shopS!"-Detroit Journal
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
How ssWun Lungr Lost.
"Wen. I'll be bowed! If it amt Old
Bill Reed"

well I'll be blowed! If it amt Old
Bill Reed"
Dick, or I'm a goner!"
Two soldiers of the old Legion jos
tied into each other at Sixth and Main
streets last night, says the Louisville
Courier-Journal. They had served to-
gether in Porto Rico. One on the staff
of Gen. Henry, the other as lieutan-
ant of a mountain company. The staff
officer at the close of the war had be-
come a civilian once more, but the vol
unteer was graduated into a regular
and went with his regiment to the Phil
ippines.
1t is said to be characteristic of
Spanish war veterans as well as Civil
War veterans to grow reminiscent.
Stories of incidents in which both had
figured were told again as if for the
first time. From Porto Rico, the scene
shifted to the Philippines and Bill Reed
gave thrilling narratives of the yellow
fellows that caused a buzzing in the
ears of one who was not "a mihngtary
man."
Say, Dick, do you know. 1 granted
the first divorce that ever came to
those heathens as the result of our be-
nevolent absorption? Fact. I did" re-
marked Reed between juleps. There
had got hitched up with a 'Wun Lung
and she wanted to get out of double
harness. The commandin' general
couldn't attend to her case, and, as
had Jurisdiction in the island where
they lived, the old man told me to fire
ahead.
Il called the court and in they came.
The girl had a hard-luck story that
stumped the Interpreter and paralyzed
me.
Il tipped her the wink that I was for
her and gave her the goo-goo' that put
her next that if she wanted anything
out of the 'washee washee' the court
was open to persuasion.
When this phase of his honor's de-
liberations worked it's way into her
skull box she turned off the faucet to
her talk hydrant for a little while and
the court rendered judgment. 1t was
decreed that she should no longer play
second to the Chinaman's lead and
then, magma cum laude-which is a le-
gal phrase for what the deuce do we
care'-I informed her, through the iiv-
in speakin' tube that, as there want
any alimony lookin' her up, she could
levy on the Boxers goods.
"Well, sir, she went around to his
abidin' place and began to take on
possessions. In fifteen minutes she had
stock of wearin' apparel for both
sexes, odds an ends an trinkets that
was about six feet long and ten feet
high. All the rest of the room was
bare.
1.-The interpreter got her two ox-carts
and the last I saw of her she was driv-
in out of town with everything the
Chinaman had, but his pigtail."
There's one heather over there, any
how, who believes in American insti-
tutions. But 1t amt Wun Lung"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
TROUBLE FOR sLAYDEN.

Unless Congressman Dalzell of
Pennsylvania is greatly misunderstood
he intends to make trouble for Con-
gresham James r. Slayden of Texas
soon after the meeting of Congress.
According to the story that is being
circulated in Washington, Mr.. Slayden
went to Cuba on a government trans
port some months ago, and on his ar
rival there travelled about the island
and talked freely with the people.
Among the things he is reported to
have told them is that they ought not
to vote for the Plat amendment, for
the reason that it was only an admins
the American people, and that, as Mr..
Mckinley was a weak man, If the Gu
bans showed a bold front the amend
mept would not be pressed.
1t seems that Congressman Dalzell
was in Cuba about the same time, and
collected evidence as to what Mr.. Stay
den said to the Cubans. He is quoted
as saying that Mr.. Slayden is guilty of
something akin to treason, and ought
to be called to account for his con-
duct.
1t will turn out probably that what
Mr.. Slayden said is not nearly as Sc
rious as Mr.. Dalzell is trying to make
it appear. In fact, it is just possible
that the newspaper reports are more
sensational than anything that Mr..
nalzaH hos sold
1t is hardly probable that Mr.. Stay
den said anything to the Cubans that
he had not a right to say, and If that
is shown to be the case Congress will
not bother itself with reports which
Mr.. Dalzell may make to 1t of Mr..
Slayden's doings in Cuba. Mr.. Stay
den was not bound to tell the Cubans
that they must accept the Plant amend
ment. Perhaps it will turn out that
Mr.. Dalzell is simply trying to attract
little attention to himself, and to
get a stronger hold on his party in
Pennsylvania. Probably he wants to
be senator or a cabinet officer. He is
not lacking in political ambition.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
Obduracy was Rewarded.

He was the only person about the Of
flee effectually to discourage the over
lures of life insurance agents, says the
Chicago Chronicle. His fellow employees
had one by one fallen into the trap,
but all the arguments of the astute pro-
moters had failed to catch him. The
managers of the different insurance
companies hearing of this mans obsti-
macy offered a premium to any canvas
ser who would succeed in bringing him
into camp.
The man who wouldn't be insured fin
ally lost his patience because of the
persistency of the insurance agents,
but, unlike most people, he didn't lose
any money to get rid of them.
After repeated assaults the insurance
promoters abandoned the task. The
announcement of the young mans
forthcoming marriage was a signal,
however, for renewed onslaughts. The
much desired prize proved more tract
able than formerly and agreed after
his return from the honeymoon to re-
open the question. To every agent he
said:
wait until I get back from my we'd
ding trip and I'll talk this matter over
again with you"
The heretofore uncomfortable en-
ploye had come to the conclusion that
it was time for him to secure insur-
ance, but he was resolved that in low
ering his colors he would have a de-
cided laugh at the expense of his fell
lows. When he returned he told the
score of agents that they would have
to outbid each other to get him on the
list and he appointed a certain day
when the competition would take place.
His associates who had paid the full
assessment learned of the scheme and
each, lamenting his easy surrender
without demanding terms, arranged to
be present.
The bidding was spirited and close.
Commissions were cut down until the
low water line was approached by cv-
cry competitor. The young men who
had succun1bed to the insurance fever
with such ease saw that their obstinate
friend was on the way to get the same
protection they enjoyed for half the
money. The competition was brought
to a sudden close by the arrival of an
agent whose absence had been noted at
the outset. He bore a message from
the president of the company which
was read aloud by the newly married
man. 1t was:
you've been such hard fish to land
that we have decided to present you
with a policy for the first year with
out a single item of expense On your
part"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Neutrality-suspicious. Lodge, No. 1, I.
o. o. T.
Special Notices-Savannah Building
Supply Company; Andrew Hanley
Company; For Ordinary, Frank E.
Keilbach; Levan's Table d'Hote.
Business Notices-Bouvier's Buchu
Gin; L. e. w. Laundry.
Amusements-Th Weeks Vaude-
Vile Great, Tunderbolt Casino.
Pearline-James Pyle & Son, New
York.
Swimming Pool-At Thunderbolt Ca
sino, Now Open.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.; Heiskelrs Oint-
ment; DR.. Hathaway Company; Hos
letters Stomach Bitters.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
SATISFIED WITH THEIR WORK.

The Civil Service Commissioners
have just sent their annual re-
port-the seventeenth-to the Pres
ident, and from what they say it
! is apparent that they are very we'll
! satisfied with their work. Assuming
their statements and conclusions to be
correct. the civil service law is a good
thing for the country. They have moth
ing to do of course with the number of
government employees. II they had
they might reduce it considerably.
There appears to be reason for say
ing that IL the number were reduced
at least 10 per cent the government
would be more satisfactorily served.
There is an impression abroad that
the various departments are now so
crowded that the clerks are in each
others way. Unless this impression is
incorrect, wherever there is a chance
to make room for another employe,
room is made, whether the service of
an additional employe is needed or not.
OF course the politicians, and partic-
ularly Congressman, have very little to
say in approval of the civil service law.
They are still annoyed by con-
stituents who seek for places under the
government. The place hunters seem
to think that Congressman can find a
way to evade the civil service law if
they want to. And it would not be sur
prisng If it were a fact that they do
get government places for good many
of their friends and relatives. Just how
they manage to do 1t is a secret that is
pretty effectually kept from the public.
There is an intimation by the COM
missioners that the civil service law
IS not properly enforced in one respect.
They refer to the difficulty in getting
rid of employees who are incompetent,
or who refuse to discharge their du-
ties faithfully. The understanding
seems to be that each one of the en-
ployes has the support of at least
one Congressman, who always appears
on the scene of trouble whenever an
effort is made to discharge an employee.
If the influence of congressman, so far
as the departments are concerned, could
be suppressed, it is, probable, that the
civil service would be a great deal bet
ter than it is. Perhaps the civil ser
vice system will be steadily improved
each succeeding year.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
THE MORNING NEWS is published


every day in the year. and served tc
subscribers in the city. OF sent by mail,
at 20 cents a month, $500 for six months,
and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
times a week (without Sunday issue).
three months. $50: six months, 800: one
year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (fonday and Thursday. by mail.
one year, $.0O.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re-
NIT by money order. check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk Of
sender.
Transient Advertisements. other than
special column, local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column.
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-eQuaI to one inch in depths the
standard of measurement. Contract rates
and discounts made known on application
at business Office.
Orders for delivery OF the Morning News
to either residence or place of business
can be made by mail or by telephone No.
40. Any irregularity in delivery should
be Immediately reported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MoRNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga
EASTERN OFFICE, q Park Row.
New York City. II. C. Faulkner. Manager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
Personal.

The Duke of Roxburghe, who is
being spoken of as a possible husband
for Miss Astor, is just rs years of
age and returned recently from South
Africa, where he served with distinc-
ton as lieutenant in the Royal Horse
Guards.
Surgeon Major General w. A.
Thomson, NJ. B., who is honorary ply
stefan to King Edward, has been Sc
lected for a good-service pension OF
one hundred pounds a year. 1t Is
nearly fifty years since he received his
frst commission as an army surgeon.
He has served in many parts of the
world and at the time of his retire.
ment in 1892 he was principal medical
officer in India. He was appointed
honorary physician to Queen Victoria
in 1895.
The Princess Frederick-August of
Saxony, daughter of the Grand Duke
and Duchess of Tuscany, who some
day will be Queen of Saxony, is now
taking a regular course of training as
trained nurse at the Lutheran Hospital
in Dresden. While she is taking the
entire course, the Princess is particular
ly interested in ambulance work and
what is known in the army as first
aid to the injured" Her royal high
ness attends operations and applies
bandages with her own hands and has
no more assistance given her than
would fall to the lot of the humblest
novitiate in the study of trained nurs-
ing. Indeed, she made the special re-
quest that nothing be done for her that
is not always in the ordinary treat
ment of those who study as she is
studying. The Princess has taken up
this work so that she can minister more
effectively to the sick poor.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
Wanted 10 Trade.
From Puck.

To trade: A city, all complete
With man and building, din and street
For one tall forest, green and cool,
Supplied with quiet shade and pool.
To trade: A shopworn desk and chair
Within an Office 10 feet square,
For one canoe upon a stream
Where wood-nymphs smile and fishes
CLEAN.
To trade: Twelve hurdy-gurdy tunes
Collected summer afternoons
For one breeze singing mid the pines
OF Nature and her chaste designs.
IL
To trade: A fat encompassed well
BY pavement hot, and roof and bell,
For one small tent where all is still
Except the wind and whippoorwill
To trade: A business in town
Which keeps a fellow buckled down,
For one vacation. far away,
With naught to do but loaf and play.
Edwin L. Sabin.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

The platform recently adopted by the
Democratic party in Pennsylvania
omits reference to "all questions and
propositions upon which the people of
the nation divide into political parties. s.
The platform is designed to afford
the ground plan of the campaign for
the overthrow of Quayism in Pennsyi-
vania and to accomplish this greater
purpose it is realized by the party
leaders that the sympathy and help of
the better class of Republicans are es-
sential. So disgusting and repulsive
is Republican rule in Pennsylvania that
great public protest has arisen
against it's continuance.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

A young woman of GAINESVILLE, o.,
has made the trip to Canton. to plead
brother. The brother, a soldier in the
Nineteenth Infantry, has been SEN
fenced to hang in Manila for the MUIR
der of a Filipino girl. The sister did not
see the President, but to one of his
secretaries she told her story, and left
very hopeful that her visit would be
the means of accomplishing good and
of saving her brothers life.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

An unchivalrous travelling man near
Watertown, N. Y, slapped the face OF
Mrs. Carrie Nation the other day. Mrs
Nation was making a trip on one OF
the river boats and improving the shin
ing hour by diatribes against the to-
bacco habit. She was also snatching
cigars and cigarettes from the mouths
Of smokers on the boat. When she
tried this on with Eugene Foley, a
Utica drummer, he refused to stand
for it and slapped Mrs. Nations face.
1t is hard to condone the offense of
man who under any circumstances
slaps a woman, but it must be admit
ted that the provocation was great
and Foley's fall from grace not very
difficult to understand.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

The members of the engineer corps
of the navy, which was abolished last
year by the orders of the department,
are said to be anxious to have IT re-
stored. Some of them are, at any rate.
The abolition of the corps, it is report
ed, has not tended to advance the eff
ficiency of the naval service, and En-
gineer-in-Chief Melville, who recon-
mended that the distinction between
officers of the line and officers of the
staff, in which latter division engineer
officers were included. should be abol-
ished, now wants the distinction re-
stored
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

In Denmark they have reduced the
cost of railway travelling to a mini
mum. The fares are low and system
of rebates decreases the cost per mile
in proportion to the distance travelled.
For about $40 one can buy a ticket
good for two weeks, and armed with
this may travel day and night, and all
the time and over every road in the
kingdom. until the two weeks have ex-
PRED. For little more than IS he can
get a ticket, with similar privileges,
good for a month, and for $50 can OBJ
tain transportation for a years jour
ney. If an American drummer, half
OF whose time is devoted to attempts
to decrease the cost of the railway fares
he is required to pay. should sudden
ly be transported to Denmark, he would
think he had been dropped down in
Paradise, or wherever it is that good
drummers go.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

Gov. voorhees,, of New Jersey has
just mad laid before him evidence of
the practices INDUCED in by the Cen
trail University of Medicine and
Science" of Jersey City. 1t has been
offering to confer the degree of NJ. D.
for $40, and to throw in the degree of
Ph. D. for an extra S., in either case
without the formality of residence or
examination at the alleged university's
place of domicile. The operations of
the Central University of Medicine and
Science and the recipients of it's de-
srees are respectfully referred to the
attention of the Society for the Sup
preston Of Spurious Titles, of Suffolk,
Va
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

While the Pan-American exposition is
laboring to show to the world the pro-
ducts and advantages of the two
Americas, the southern half of the
New World is being torn with revolu-
ton and internecine strife. Colombia,
Venezuela and Ecuador are all said to
be involved in the trouble, which has
for it's Interior purpose the formation
of a Federal union of the three coun-
tries, which were originally one. II
seems scarcely probable that the ambi-
tious scheme of Gen. Uribe-Uribe will
be crowned with success. With their
experience Of past revolutions the peo-
pie of South American countries will
probably prefer rather tie endure the
Ills they have, than fly to others that
they know not Of"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

The Attorney General of Indiana will
take steps to put a stop to runaway
matches at Jacksonville, Ind, which
is Louisville and Kentucky's Gretna
Green. In the Blue Grass state love-
sick SWANS and damsels are required
to give bond and observe other tedious
and distressing preliminaries before
they are permitted to enter the holy
estate of matrimony. all of which are
dispensed with across the river. 1t has
been found that the marriage industry
In Jacksonville has assumed too thriv-
ing proportions and that those engaged
in 1t are making a wondrously good
living in enacting the role of Hymen.
The Attorney General has declared he
will stop some of the more objection
able practices at any rate.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

and beautiful. but the commoner ones
of utility and worth.
A critic who works out his destiny
along these lines has a place in the
general scheme of things and a real
value to mankind. When he talks as
Prof. Triggs is said to have done of
Longfellow and Holmes he is no long
er a criticize is just a plain ass.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

The kindly feeling and warm re-
gard for the negro, which we are ac-
customed to being told exist In the
North, are well illustrated in a Pitts
ton, Pa. telegram to the Pittsburg
Dispatch. The telegram says that "a
sensation was created here to-day by
the announcement of General Manager
May, of the Erie Coal Company. that
he had appointed Isaac Gould, a color
ed man of this city, foreman of No. l
shaft and breaker. The four hundred
men employed in the mine are very
Indignant over the fact that a colored
man has been placed over their heads
and threaten to strike" In such a case
comment is not necessary.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

The nomination of Mantague and
Willard by the Virginia Democratic
convention is said to indicate the down
fall of the political machine in the
Old Dominion. Democrats should see
to it that a new machine does not
rise from the ruins.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
The weather.

The indications for Georgia to-day
are for occasional showers, light south
erly winds; and for Eastern Florida,
showers, light southeasterly winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

Fate is poor bookkeeper. 1t makes
many a man pay for a fault some one
else has committed.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19

There is an epidemic of bad poetry
in England. Rudyard Kipling's latest
offense, which he calls The Lesson. ="
is bad enough to make the sweet Bard
Of Avon start in Indignation from his
grave.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
JOHN G. BUTLER,

DEALER IN
Paints. Oils and Glass. Sash. Doors.
Blinds and Builders Supplies, Plain ana
Decorative Wall Paper. Foreign and Do
nestle Clements. Lime. Plaster and Hair.
Sole Agent for Abestlne Cold Water Paint
- Congress street, west. and - 81. JULIAN
street. west
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
WEST END CAR

Car leaves west side of City Market
for West End 600 a. m. and every a
minutes thereafter during the day until
1870 p. m.
Leaves West End at $40 a. m. and ev-
cry 40 minutes thereafter during the day
until 1900 o'clock midnight.
LUCIEN MCINTYRE. Gen. Manager
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
CATTLE PARK.
THuNDERROLT

Car leaves Bolton street junction $50
a. m and every thirty minutes thereafter
until II 80 D. m.
Car leaves Tliunderbolt at 500 a. m.
and every thirty minutes thereafter until
1900 midnight, for Bolton street junction
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
FREIGHT AND PARCEL. CAR

NS1@1NA1A 1A@NA @AINOLA NzAtI
This car carries trailer for passengers
on all trips and leaves east side of city
market for Isle of Hope, Thunderboll
and kll intermediate points at 800 a. m.
100 D. m. 500 p. m
Leaves Isle of Hope for Tnunderbolt
City Market and all intermediate points
at 600 a. m. HOO a. m, 2:40 o. m