Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

- pARoN Jones.

~
sDead?" This question was quickly
asked by the most f~astidious looking
person of the select few who were sit
ting in che reading room of,the "sHotel
Navarro"
thought 1t, Col. Chas. dLegrange was a
man of uncommon physical strength
poor fellow,@I have had relations with
Ahie both as burglar and broker"
taow is that?" asked the English
antleman with a monocle.
As hurgler n broker / said" replied
the gentleman, who looked the very pic
ture of a grand duke i .dress and de-
pertinent.
my card gentlemen" he said as he
handed them to the few personst pres
emit
The card read
HENRY LEFOIL, BROKER
After they had glanced at the cards
he.eaid, formerly, BURGER"
"What?" said the Overdressed, agent
of the greatest house on earth in its
line,-"did you say burgler?"
Precisely" said the refined looking
gentleman,-"is it not an honorable
calling?"
There was a pause.
Gentlemen" said the sueave person
age,. I'VE are all robbers in the present
age of civilation,-I have followed all
the respectable games of thievlng and
4 must say that Il consider burglary,
properly followed, as n of the first
professions that a gentleman should
engage in"
MY father intended that ! should be
g minister, but the idea was repugnant
to me, for 4 would be obliged TO preach
hell and damnation to souls whom l
morally felt had no right to be either
damned or lost"
The gentleman then remained silent
for some time.
.sWhat them" asked the gentleman
in the plaid suit and monocle.
Then / turned lawyer" said Lefoil,
''but when / found that my likelihood
depended upon crime and the o~,ostinacy
of the human family i deserted that. |
found that i would be obliged to defend
scoundrels who should be hanged
and that L should be obliged to rob
pool fools who went to law on account
of obstinacy or what you term "bull
medicines" | felt that in this profess
sion that / was much like a buzzard,-
the bad passions OF the r%ace,--I knew
that I could not exist unless l catered to
this Infamous traffic, wherein | must
sink my conscience and defend what
ever ~scoundrel offered the most money.
/ grew weary Of this, and then | be-
thought myself;-where can | find a
profession where / can rob humanity
with less detail,-simplytrob them with
out long anXieties."
II thought of the brokerage business
that | am o in,-then j Thought of
turning physician wherein you can rob
a mans estate by killing HMM this
profession you may Kill a person Il
then bring in an eXorbitant fee because
you failed to cure. | resolved all these
matters in my mind and then in dis
tress, laid the whole matter before my
father. After explaining the whole
matter before him concerning profess
sions:- doctor, preacher, lawyer and
burgler.- what do you think he said?'
WHAT" was the anxious enquiry.
He said; my son become a BURGER;
jim this age of commercial greed
where all legitimate business is on the
border land of robbing, II occupa-
tion is good as another;-so that you
rob and rob we'll"
II was pleased with his decision.
He then said, Il will get an instructor
il this profession to teach you the art"
Suffice to say gentlemen, he fur
nished me with an excellent tutor,-a
gentleman, if the most pious inclina-
tions, who had robbed banks in Eng
land,-houses in Switzerland, and
houses in France,-he always reminded
me of some saint. on account of his be-
nevolent expression
He paused then looked up at the great