The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-03-29
SIZED


Chicago News.
Dner-lsn't that rather small
steak? Waiter-Yes. sir; but you'll
find # win take you a good while to
eat It.
Chollie- She called me an idiot. Mol
lle-lndeedl | didn't think she knew
you well enough for thatl-Yonkers
Statesman.
Nellie Gracious How do you man
age to knit 80 much IN so short a timer
Ninette- Every time do ten rows l
give myself a chocolate cream.
Hoax (at the theaterI-See those
three fellows and three girls in the
box? They are all engaged. Joax-
Sort Of matchbox. isn't it?-Phlla-
delphla Record
Charitable Old Lady-Poor woman!
Aud are you a Widow Beggar-Worse
than a widow. ma'am. Me husbands
livln', an have to support hlm.-Glas-
gov Evening Times.
what do you think Of this scheme
oftelegraphlng without wiresY That's
nothing new. My wife has kicked my
shins under the table for twenty
years What to Eat.
Harry-It was kind OF you, old fell
low. to look after my girl while was
away. How can ! ever repay your
Fred-Well. | still owe the livery sta
BILE man.--The Smart Set.
"Are you suffering from cold?" "No.
My trouble started with cold. but l
took all the remedies my friends pre-
scribed and they are what | am suffer
Ing from Washington Star.
Husband returning from his first
ascent In balloon) think of 1t,
Alice; assembled $4,000 feet In the air,
Young wlfe-And you brought back
nothing for Fllegende Blaetter.
Jane-It liz always a surprise to me
what a lot OF homely women get mar
ried. Bertha-No doubt 1t Is a refec-
ton which gives you great deal of
encouragement, dear.-Boston Tran
script
When doctors say that an operation
is successful. they mean that they
ANAh0 NhAA AA't hNNNN0 wi anu cut ~
out; they don't mean that the patient
has recovered or will recover.--Atchl-
son Globe.
"That woman made me what | am"
"Ah, how long have vow been mar
riedT "Oh, we're not married at all.
She wouldn't have me. and II made me
so mad | got move on."-Indlanapo-
lis journal.
as there any danger Of the boa con-
strictor's biting meT asked lady
visitor at the geological gardens. mot
the least. ma'am." cried the keeper;
che never bites; he swallows his
whites whole. "-Tit-Blts.
Ethel-when a man talks all by him
self, what Is that called? Mamma
Why, that's called a 'monologue." "Oh
see. When the eats get to talking
on the fence, that's a catalogue, isn't
N"-Phladelphia Record.
Visitor (angrilyl See here, sir. You
called me political iohber in your
paper this morning Editor-les, but
that was mistake Visitor-Ahl You
admit that Editor-Certalnly. 1 wrote
''robber' very plainly Philadelphia
Press.
Poet-I've called TO see about the
poem left here last week. Editor
What was lt? Poet-It was a realistic
piece. entitled "The Gallant Fireman.
Edltor-I'm afraid It was too realistic
IL probably went to the fire.-Philadel
phla Press.
New Reporter (tired ouU-To-day 1,
saturday, and you know this state
now has Saturday half holiday Law
which City Edltor-By Jinksl
nearly forgot II. Rush out and get NJ
ive-column article on how the day
is being observed,-New York Weekly
Mrs. Housekeep- don't you e
to work? Weary Walker-Wen lady
yer see I'm wat yer might call an ''un
happy medium" Mrs. HOusekeep-In
deed? Aud what do you mean b,
thatl Weary Walker-Why, I'm to,
heavy fur light work and too light ful
heavy Philadelphia Press.
Miss Bullion-No. Adolphus, mus
Aut hNNSA ~ 9'Ns 'Ay inANANS NouA
never consent TO my marriage with
man who had to work for his living
Adolphus-But I'm an artist, dearest
Miss BulliOn-True-but you sell you
plcturesl Adolphus-Oh, darling 20
wrong me. paint pictures that don
sell.-Tit- Bits.
Old observation-disclosures answer you
request for my daughters hand pei
NIT me to ask what is your yearly II
come. sir? Young Man-All told.
amounts to $500. Old Merchant-H'u
To that would be added the interes
at 4 per cent on the sum of f2OOC
that intend to give my daughter fC