The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1901-05-03
WITTY tsAYl.Nloe',7.
A. Heard ny Justin Mct'asthy, Author and
Ss nv $AsSsIl NY y statesman. " &Sss "' ",

L 10 y yi
| "a attempt to reproduce witty sayings
4 one has heard, as SO much OF the Wa
! depends on the manner OF the person
who says them and the circumstance
under which they are uttered IL u spAt g
Of this i venture to set down. some ll'e -
the sayings of some OF the Willy men
and women l. have known, and y my az
sreaders should not find every sayang ss.
quite Is witty as l thought 1t was az
the time i heard it I hope they Wall
put down the, fault to the chronicler1
and not to the author Of the witty
saying r. M - " Is g..
I was travelling once with Dick POW
er and some other Irish members on
night Journey on an Irish railway dur
| ing the storm and stress of q general
election. Suddenly the train came to-
| q dead stand at a place where there
was no station. Amusement and.
alarm filled the minds of some OF US.
what could have happened?" we
asked ourselves mentally. Gould the
Tories have torn up the rails? Gould
the Orangemen have barricaded the
line?" II .3..$ ;$* -. 4 ! . esp s." ~ .8
1t took a great deal to alarm Dick
Power. He quietly rose from his
seat and thrust his head out Ut the
window in the hope of finding some
explanation. What are We stopping
for?" he inquired of railway official
who happened to be passing just. at
the moment. tits nothing. sir was
the reply, only we have had to de-,
tach the engine;" "All right said
Dick Power, ':only take care you
don't go on without it!"% ~ Sz :< Z
Dick Power: once had sharp con,
test for one Of the Irish Constituen-
cies. The contest was the more ,ln-
pleasant to him because his, opponent,
! who was formerly political colleague
had changed his principles and gone
over to the other side. Dick fought
the battle CALAMITY. according to. his
usual fashion, and won the seat. ~,
On the night when the result OF the
election was made known Dick was
sitting with some friends In the prin-
cipal hotel of the place. Suddenly in
came the defeated candidate, and, cast.
ing an indignant glance at Dick, he ex-
! claimed: All is lost but honor!p
Dick cheerily said in reply: All right
! l have got the seat and you have got
the honor, SO we have both got what
We most wanted" '"'
Whistler-"The Master" as his fol-
lowers delight to call him, Jimmy
as most of his friends designate him
| was once painting the portrait of &
distinguished novelist who was ex-
tremely clever but also extremely ill.,
| favored. When the portrait was fin
ished the sitter did not seem satisfied
with it, You don't seem to like it,"
| Whistler said. The sitter confessed
! that he did not and said in self -1uatifi-
cation: You must admit that it is a
| bad work of art Yes sad Whist
Ter, but you must own that you are
a bad work of nature"
Ia great friend of mine T. p. O'Con-
nor, Is known to everybody in Eng
J land and in America as brilliant par.
liamentary and platform orator and
is known also to his friends in. both
| countries as most amusing talker
with a. wonderful power Of expressive
phrase-making. Some OF us were
talking once about friend Of ours. q
member Of the House of Commons. A
lady who was one Of the company said
it was pity for the sake Of his per-
sonal appearance that he had such
very large ears. EYES," said T. r..
land the worst of It is that while they
are too large for ears they are too
small for wings"
At another time We were, talking Of
an absent friend who tancied that he
had q great gift for music and like
wise a, faculty for regenerating the
world. Some one asked: " Il he al
ways playing the fiddler" well" 70.
piled T. p, Il do not know that he is
always playing the l1ddle. but he GER
tainly is always playing the fiddle or
the fool" =
Lady Dorothy Neville. one Of the
Wittiest women in London society. Is
we'll known to most Americans who
visit London during the season. E.,
L was talking with Lady Dorothy
one day about lady to whom was
giving high praise and Lady Dorothy
seemed inclined to disparage her. 'She
is very CLEVER, 4 said. Lady Dorothy
shook her head scornfully. But" 1
pleaded, "she is so very we'll read"
Come, come, replied Lady Dorothy
with smile, ''sbe Is evidently much
cleverer than thought. since she has
been able 10 make you believe that
sic ever read anything"
One night group of members were
talking in the smoking.room .of the
House of Commons about measure
which it was proposed to recommend
| to the consideration OF the Govern
ment and on which We were all under
stood to be- in complete agreement.
Suddenly a member who had up to this
time offered no>objection and had. in
deed, sat in absolute silence-though
he was we'll known for an extraordf-.
Eary aptitude IN spinning out talk on
the most trivial subject-broket in With
the words: 81 suppose there is some.
thing to be. said on the other side.''SS
II dare say there, is, Thomas Sex
ton observed, "and il We had a couple
Of months to spare you are lust the
very man to say it.; but then. You see,
i the matter, is coming uD on the Iiav