The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1901-03-21
copyright, 1901, by G. 3. Lewis

my heart give a sudden bob, my head
begun to go round, and right before
me l saw my coffin and an open grave.
For a mint l thought | was a goner,
but then a small voice whispered to
me that I'd live an hour longer and
that I'd better come in and talk to
you. Pm here to say some last dyin
words to you, Samuel and, though l
don't expect to draw tears to your
eyes, I do hope youth listen and re-
member what l say"
At this juncture Mrs. Gallup's tears
began to fall and her chin to culver,
and, being so busy with her emotions,
she did not even look Mr.. Gallups
way. Swallowing at the lump in her
throat, she said:
Samuel, I've allus kinder felt that
in case Of my death you'd marry
ag'in, and it's allus made me feel a
little edgewise, but a change has come
over me- 1t come two weeks ago. I'm
now resigned to your takin a second
wife. In fact l think it's better you
should. Mrs. Teachout was sayin to
me the other day that if l dropped off
you'd marry ag'in inside of four weeks,
as you'd want somebody to comb your
hair and cut your toe nails, but l don't
think you'd be as mean as that. YOU'D
wait at least three months wouldn't
you?"
Mr.. Gallup snored in reply, and, tax
inc this IS IN answer in the affirma-
tive. Mrs. Gallup went on:
''The usual time is q year, but /
amt askin you to wait that long for
me- I've bin a hardworkin wife, and
I've allus saved every bit of the soap
grease and made the tea last in way
to surprise you, but l amt askin for
any praise. I'm old and humbly and
nighsighted, and l can't blame you if
you kick up your heels arter I'm gone
Shall you go On a bridal tower with
your second wife, Samuel? [ amt
askin cause I'm jealous, you know,
but jest out Of curiosity. When we
got married, all the bridal tower we
had was to go to a circus and come
home IN a thunderstorm, but if you
want to go to Niagara Falls with your
new wife don't stop on my account"
AS Mr.. Gallup hadn't been asked a
direct question there was no cali for
him to wake up, and as Mrs. Gallup
felt like weeping she had a fairly good
lime at it before saying further:
81 did think at one time that if you
married a chit of a girl I'd come back
and sit on the footboard Of the bed and
haunt you, but I've changed my mind
about it. It amt in me to be mean.
While it pears to me that you'd better
marry widder woman about 40 years
old, if you decide on girl of 20 it amt
for NE to raise no row. While wild
der woman would be at work SEWN
patches on your trousers and maxim
apple butter, a gal wife would want to
be swingin in hammock or playin the
melodeon, but it's your own lookout
The papers are full of gal wives rum
min away with tin peddlers, and you
must hev read of 'em as well as me,
Was you thinkin of a gal wife or a
wilder, SamuelY'
Mr.. Gallup combined a sigh and a
snore and stood mutual, and after
hanging on to her chin to stop its shak-
ing Mrs. Gallup continued:
81 was goin to ask you to think Of me
once in awhile when was gone, but I
don't want to give you trouble. Youth
hev huff to think of with your new
wife, and as l shall be fyin round in
heaven I'll be all right Once in awhile.
however-once in a while, when your
new wife spiles the bread, kicks the
cat outdoors, breaks the nose off the
teapot and kicks in the head of the vim
egar barrel, I wish you'd jest remem-
Der how patient and savin / was. Shall
you hev a new pump put into the well
for your second wife, Samuel? The old
one has bin out of order fur nine years,
you know, and you've got to pumpety
pump for ten minits to git any water.
It'll be jest like her to insist on red
pump with a blue handle"
There was no change in the situation.