The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-09-26
CRANKS AT WHITE HOUSE.
MOST OF THEM AMUSING AND FEW
 ARE DANGEROU

dN G DANtEUOCo'
 Diplomacy in Dealing With GentI,
 man Who Wanted Light From
 "Bili's" Cigar-King Midas CalIs-Ol
 fer of Cast-Of Clothes for Mrs. CIeve.
 land.
 Throughout the larger part of the
 year the White House is a magnet for
 cranks of all sorts and descriptions
 male and female In the main they are
 harmless and their idiosyncrasies are
 on the humorous side, and the door
 keepers and the secret service men
 about the executive mansion know
 how to deal summarily with them.
 They are shunted out of Washington
 on the double quick. But while there
 are more of the apparently dangerous
 cranks than the public ever hears any
 thing about, they are certainly not so
 numerous as might be expected, con- sidering the accessibility of the White House to everybody and the democratic manner in which the crowds flocking to 1t are handled.
 While congress is in session hardly a day passes without half dozen per- sons who are obviously wrong in their heads attempting to gain the presi- dents ear. Many of these afflicted in dividuals are men and women who have repaired to Washington to push imaginary or totally unfounded claims against the Federal government, and whose i'll success in such efforts has added their poor twisted brains more than ever. In besieging the White House doors their one idea is to ob- tain an opportunity to tell the stories of their claims to the chief magistrate and invoke his assistance in the fur thering of them in congress. These never reach the president, of course, but most of them are content when they are received with ceremony and consideration, not to say solemnity, by the doorkeepers, even if they are thus gradually Tanned" into the outer air.
 None of the cranks who go to the White House are turned down hard by the attendants. By diplomacy, as ex- perience has proved, they are best got rid of and most of them are so over wheln1ed by the salaaming of the self contained attaches about the doors, that far from feeling badly over it, when they find themselves gently edged out, thew depart with beaming countenance and in a highly fla ttered state of mind
 A good-looking, well-dressed man of middle age, whose face, however, wore steady faccid grin and whose eyes had a queer look in them, sauntered up to the White House door one afternoon in the second winter of President Me Kinley's first incumbency. He had an unlighted, half smoked cigar in his teeth.
 "Howdy," said he, pleasantly. to the tall doorkeeper who swung the door open for him. "Bill in?"
 The doorkeeper replied that the pres ident was out driving.
 "Too bad, too had" sighed the man 1 with the queer grin and the odd eyes
 "Durn the luck-that's what I say' |
 The doorkeeper politely asked him if i his business with the president was so pressing as all that.
 Yes replied the visitor, nlournfully, 1t is. As you see," holding out his un- ll6HlcOt ClBhT, Uly We6U has gone out. I wanted Bill to give me a light. He promised me in the year l1S4, at the battle of Hastings-which, IS you remember. I won hands down that if ever my cigar went out, all I'd have to do would be to drop in on him and get light. Too bad, too bad!" And the man again sighed miserably.
 Wait minute.' said the doorkeep- er. 'T hear the rattle of the presidents ,arriage-hes coming in the back way. I'll see him." and, leaving another at- .endant to keep an eye on the man with the ineffaceable grin, he slipped nto the passage, lighted cigar, and, liter waiting moment, returned with { in his hand. "Mr. McKinleys renewed assurances # his most distinguished considera- ion,'' said the doorkeeper, with great holding out the cigar, "and lere Is his cigar, from which he begs hat you will accept light for your wn."
 There was an expression almost of apture on the mans face as he took he cigar and applied the burning end f 1t to his own. He returned "the residents cigar" placed both of his ands upon his chest and bowed deep y to the doorkeeper, who returned the .owtow as tremendously and backed ut, saying: "Tell Bill to join me with the army in Handlers at twenty minutes past eight clock. noon time.' Then he passed out. pulling vigorous y at his cigar and he never appeared , t the White House afterwards, contra y to the expectations of the doorkeep- , rs, who had figured that he's be drop ing in every day for bit of the fire , rom the presidents cigar.
 Not long before the battle of Manila ay, a tall, dignif1ed-lo looking man with ray hair and clear, steady gray eyes, f trolled up the walk leading to the lain entrance to the White House, , vinging his walking stick jauntily. e was at an afternoon hour when visi- f DTS were not received at the executive f ansion and one of the doorkeepers, 6 ho happened to be emerging from the mansion, stopped the man nd courteously inquired if he was on