Junction City bulletin. [volume] (Junction City, Or.) 189?-1901, 1901-07-18

tNNEe ANA tSto bbub thS tebb Va bhF
evening.
Tom Benedict says he thinks it's
nice TO be engaged. Mrs. Why. he's
married. TomOf course. That's why
he thinks 80.
Billy When q man Is In debt think
he ought 10 try aud get out JIll-Do
you mean out Of debt or out OF town.
Yonkers Statesman.
Johnny. y0n must not interrupt an-
one when they are speaking" We'll,
III have 10 when I'm married, Ike you.
papa. won't r. Yonkers Statesman.
9She says her face Is her fortune.
sad Maud, Yes" said Mamie; 'and
] felt like telling her TO cheer up; pow
erty Is no disgrace - Washington Star.
Willie-Pa, why do they call our Ian
guage the mother toHgue9 Pa Shi It's
because your father never gets a
chance to use II Baltimore Telegram.
rawford-H How do you figure that
the exhibition IN Buffalo Is better than
the one they had in Paris? Crabshaw
II doesn't cost SO much TO get there
Judge.
why did You leave your last placer
Master was TOO sarcastic" How was
thatY' well. told him seen snail
on the garden path, an he says 10 me:
You must have met II.
You know" said his friend. that
genius Is defined as all infinite capacity
for taking pains" "Hem" said the lazy
/ man. that reconciles me TO the fact
that I'm not a genius. Puck.
You want the pockets to run up and
down. suppose?" said the tailor. ''No.
sir" the irritable customer replied; II
prefer stationary pockets. You may
make the Sits perpendicular, how
ever"
Nearpass--I see that man commit
ted suicide because he thought he had
outliyed his usefulness. Bennett
| That's strange. The average victim
Of that complaint keeps right on out
living 1t.
| Editor-I want a nan TO take charge
OF the children's department OF our pa
per. lie must be man whose Ian
guage Ii free from modern slang. Ap-
plicant- the guy you're chasing.
and that's no pipe.
Mrs. Strongmlnd- Why don't you 20
I a.. .sss, Ina.. 4
made a solemn VOW twenty years ago
that I'd never do another stroke of
work till women was paid tn same
wages as men.-New York Weekly.
Jawson-How did your automobile
journey turn out? Dawson Beautiful
ly! Although | ran over two pedestri.
ans and three bicycles and knocked two
wagons into ditch. my motor was not
at all injured, and ! arrived just on
time.
Il see that millionaire says he got
ON because he always knew the job Of
the man ahead of him." "Well. in the
shop where | work they keep you too
busy hustllng at your own job to have
a chance to learn that Of any other fell
low"
Mrs Goodsoul answering ringl-
What is 1t, little girl? Mary-Please.
ma'am, we've lost our kitty. She left
yesterday and we're hunting her. We
want to know If you have seen a eat
by the name of Minerva go by your
house.-sPuck.
Jack Hardup with unwonted enthu-
siasml BY Jove! see that some fell
low Is talking about introducing a bill
into the House making il misde-
meanor to send annoying letters to any
body. Very clever ldea that. I'll have
my tailor locked up for six months. by
Jove!
The mistress (entering the kltchen)--
Jane. didn't hear dish break a min
ute ago. The MaidI hope you did,
mem; it made noise enough. If you
hadn't heard ii should have thought
you were getting deaf, and that. you
know, would be awful, Boston Tran
script.
"Do you remember that schoolma'am
that was so much mashed on when
we went to school together" Yep.
Where is she now?" Il left her at my
home half an hour ago" "Then you
married her after all?" "Not much 1
didn't, She married my youngest boy"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wife @ a. m.)-John Henry, you're
drunk, John Henry-No-no (hic), my
dear; I'm only ti(hiclred. Wez my
slippersG Wife dn disgust Over there
beside the fireplace, where they have
been since six o'clock last evening
John Henry (after wandering around
for half an hour)-'Scuse me (hic), my
dear. NFez the fireplace7- Leslie's
Weekly.
please, miss" said Sunday school
pupil, Willie Jones Is swearing"
"Shockingr' said the teacher. Tell
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