The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-09-23
THE FUNNY MAN IN POLITICS.

- ALAAA4t 4GN i Il
How the Role Is ENempIihed by the
Democratic Candidate for Mayor.
To the Editor OF the indianapolis Journal:
One would hardly expect SO sedate and
matter-of-fact a business man as Mr.. Ma
guire to become facetious in so grave a
paper as a letter of acceptance is usually
supposed TO be; yet, after very plainly de-
claring his position on the questions at is
sue in the campaign, he cracks some huge
Jokes, apparently for no purpose but to
stretch out his letter to the regulation
length Of such papers. His declaration OF
the policy he proposes to adopt is one OF
the most concise and explicit ever couched
in the same number Of words, having the
additional advantage OF a life-like picture
by which its true inwardness may be easily
understood. In short, he says: Behold the
glorious administration of Mr.. Taggart, 1
indorse 1t from A 10 lizard. and L Will
duplicate it to the best of my ability, es-
pecially by enforcing all just laws and let
ting all other laws go dead; myself being
judge as to what laws are just"
Having thus defined his position on the
only questions in the campaign, he lapses
into a humorous mood and begins to crack
jokes. For instance. he says there shall
be no politics in h~is'n-only pure business:
and then declares that the opinion Of the
Superior Court that the city has no power
to compel the railroads to elevate their
tracks is a bit Of Republican r%ottenness
which ought to be rebuked by electing him
mayor. Just what ought to be done to re-
Duke the Republican Supreme Court If it
sustains this opinion he does not say.
Nevertheless, his voice is still for elevated
tracks. Bless the good mani Whose voice
is not? But how to get elevated tracks in
the face of the law is the burning question.
1t seems never to have occurred to him
that if Mr.. Taggart had considered the or
dinance which regulates the speed Of loco
motives in the city a Just" law the rail-
roads would be the plaintiffs, not the de-
PENDANTS, in a suit to compel the city to
permit them to elevate their tracks. How
ever, IL is a good Joke, all the same, TO de-
clare that he, too, is with US all and is in
favor of elevating the tracks.
1t is in bad form for any one to laugh at
his own jokes, but he must have laughed
heartily in his sleeve when he so sODerly
announced that he IS not in favor of selling
natural gas by measure. He shall have a
chrome II he will find anybody who is, ex-
cept the Indianapolis Gas Company and
a few who think it would be good policy TO
prolong the luxury for future use by pre-
venting present waste. But it is u good
joke, all the same, and it helps to lengthe
out his letter; but he can hardly imagine
that anybody will vote for him on that &C
count.
one of the very best jokes of the whole
batch is his solemn averment that he is in
FAVOR Oh going on with the park system,
except that it smacks a little of a feloniOus
attempt 10 steal Republican thunder. Does
he not knOw-does not everybody know
that 1t was during the Republican ascend
ency of a quarter of a century ago that
Garfield Park, the first park of the sys-
TEN, was bought? But. as there is nothing
mean about Republicans, they never thought
of making political capital out of a purely
local municipal transaction which can
no more have q party signifcance than can
However. the humOr is good, and the only
persons that can be offended are the DEM
ocratS whose traditional pride protests
against wearing the cast-Of shoes OF Re-
publicanism if there is any party question
in it. But there have been serious criti-
cismS as TO the enormous prices paid for
some of the park lands, hence this joke
may not be so very funny, seeing that more
lands are to be bought. and he promises to
follow i'm Mr.. Taggarts steps.
But. after all, the boss joke of all is the
solemnity with which he attributes the
phenomenal growth of Indianapolis these
six years to the wise and benefcent admin
istrations of Mr.. Taggart. whereas this has
had no more to do with it than the said adj
ministration has had TO do with the I'M
mense peach crop of the season. Peach
trees obeyed the laws OF peach growth, and
a good crop is the result in spite OF Mr..
Taggart's open saloons, high-priced lands,
temporary loans, empty treasury and the
other distinctive features which Mr.. Ma
guire proposes 10 perpetuate. Every boy
in the High School and some of the girls
know that the growth and prosperity OF
Indianapolis is only g section OF the gen.
eral prosperity of the whole country, begOt-
ten and nurtured py the wise c9hlueIcldI'
financial n military policy or the hepuO-
lican party ever since it came into power
in 1861, adjusting details from time 10 Tune
so as to adapt them to the changed condi-
+fprc of the bpur- the Sam in its CCOne IN
the times of war as In peace, seeking, the
welfare of all, even as the last speech OF
the martyred President suggests modiTca-
ton of policies that were wise In their day
so as to adapt them TO the new conditions
these very measures had brought about,
Notwithstanding every distinctive measure
has been opposed at every stage by the
Democratic party, TO which Mr.. Maguire
appeals for the Endorsement of Mr.. Tag
CARTS plumbers. Even Mr.. Clevelands two
Unfortunate administrations could only
temporarily check this swelling tide OF
prosperity; much less can the plumbers OF
Mr.. Taggarts administration seriously ar
feet Indianapolis. And should an inscrutable
Providence. on account of any sins or omls-
sion or commission, have in store for US a
perpetuation of his policy I'm the person OF
Mr.. Maguire, the material interests OF
indianapolis will suffer but little. The
foundations of our prosperity are too per
manent for such a calamity 10 seriously
affect us. But what Of the moral effects
Is there nothing to be feared in the spirit
| Cf anarchy which defies all laws that art
meant to restrain vice. from the kinder
Carten school of crime. the unenforced cur
few law. to the wlde-ODen saloon, the un
restrained gambling hells. the armed vaga-
bonds. the defiant Bungaloo gangs. the
murderous bicycle and lOcOmotive-is there
nothing IN this? The killing Of a President
IS only a riper sta e OF the shirt or law.
Iessness which obtains In Indianapolis ant
other cities In which the law-defers are Z
unit IN sunport OF those who will conniv'
at crime while others are Indifferent. Hap
nilv. Mr.. Maguire has defined his position
He viii enforce no law that he deems un
inst. What laws these are the Taggar
administration declares. and he is pledged
10 adont the same as hts own o~ninions. Fl,
does not have even the merit OF running AZ
a Democrat-only as an echo OF Mr.. Tag
CART 10 perpetuate the whole ~ Taggart
ism. L. l.. SEE.
INDIANAPOLIS. Sent. 81