Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-09
LEAVE-TAKING.
Art of Knowing When to Go Just at
the Right Time.

hHa VI knowing when to Go just at
the Right Time.
From the London Queen.
Most people are equal to entertaining a
craving room and to greeting their hostess
with certain amount of readiness and
self-confidence. They are invited guests,
they take their welcome for granted, or
they are returning calls received; anyhow
they have the key Of the position, and they
are not called upon to make decision as
to whether they shall do this or that
Ihey nave to make themselves agreeable
TO the best of their abilities, but this is
understood beforehand and does not come
upon them as a surprise. The exercise of
judgment is brought into play or the
proof of the lack of it evinced at the
crucial moment of departure and to de-
.eiInlile thls moment with acumen demands
goodly array of valuable qualities which
some possess in far lesser degree than do
otHers. Ihere are people who never know
"heh TO take leave, and who stay on and
pii III uesultory, uncomfortable manner
having nothing particular to saw and no
reason Tor remaining except that thew
cannot get themselves away. These uncer-
tam ones require a little assistance from
t tneir hostess In the matter of Fastening
thelr departure, but she is generally re-
luctant to help them over the stiIe'' for
rear OF being considered inhospitabe 1t is
not every hostess who dares to say to one
n
say goodbye, so | will not detain Won a
moment longer although this is the spirit
IN which she would like to speed these
ParCns guests were it conventional so to
40. Actual engagements, whether of a So
clal or business character, are great aids
IN determining the moment of departure
out even when these exist abrlIpt leave
taklngs have to be guarded against to
AVOID creating an undesirable impression
That Is to say to break off or to break into
conversation suddenly with a hurried
Good-bye'is the reverse of complimentary
ana little care should be taken to do
neither OF these things. An engagement
may, as matter of course, be put fOrwa rd
as a reason for an early departure but it
is to the hostess that this should be said
when shaking hands with her
mere are some unwrtten laws with re-
gard TO time at which departures should
be general and of which most people are
cogniZant, but even these are subject to ex-
ceptions and variations and are regulated
by hostess wishes. For instance, should
a visitor rise to take leave after luncheon
or at any afternoon call, and a hostess
wishes to delay departure by saying
Don't hurry away Must you go?"
or by making some such kindly remark
engagements permittng-the leaye-takine
should be postponed for the moment At
the afternoon at homes, at dinner parties
and dances, these persuasive words are
seldom addressed to parting guests, as they
leave early or late, as best suits their con-
must not be outstayed save by request of
host or hostess, and there also the few min
utes asked fort really amounts to no
more--should not be heightened out to half
or three-quarterS of hour, for fear of
occaSiOning regret rather than satisfac-
ton on the part of so friendly a hostess.
There Is disposition the part Of some
inconsiderate visitors to somewhat bore
their friends by lengthening afternoon calls
into visitationS of an hour hour and
halfs duration, regardless of the claims
of other visitors or of the time of the long
suffering hostess. They cannot be told in
so many words that their visits are over
long; they are more cupable than those
quickly and so stay on, but they simply
remain to suit their own convenience OBJ
livious of that of their hostess.
1t is very easy to err in the opposite d.
rection and to make SO brief a visit that a
hostess feels it is but a matter of duty,
and not one of pleasure. AS q rule if
time is so precious that only a short ten
minutes can be allowed in which to make
a call, 1T had better be deferred until
more convenient opportunity. Nervous
people sometimes make this mistake; they
cannot think at the moment Of anything
further to say, and so say "Good-bye'' and
beat hasty retreat. Others make these
uncomplimentary short calls from indiffer-
ence and lack of interest in those called
upon, or from press of engagements, CT
be kept too long in the cold; this latter mo-
tive is so good one that it might be fear
lessly expressed did not the dread of ap
pearing to put on side deter them from
mentioning the fact that they have horses
to drive