The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-30
REPUBLICAN SHORTER CATE
CHISaI.

New York Post
Swift, in one of the letters which he
wrote from his Dublin exile to Pope.
spoke ironically of tine vaciIlations and
uncertainties of the cabinet of the day.
he said they ought to issue a catechism
every four months, in order to let their
bcwildered supporters know what to
think and write and speak on the leading
political questions. The idea is not a bad
one for party doubtful about it's own
changing policies in changing times;
and. while confidently expecting the is
sue of something official. we humbly
volunteer a few touchStones of ReDub-
lican orthodoxy today:
Question: What is the chief end of
prosperity?
Answer. To glorify the Republican
party and keep it in Office forever
1894 due?
A., To the Wilson tariff and an i'm
beetle administration.
@. What are We to think of the dam
age to crops in 1901?
A. That it is the dispensation of an
all-wise Providence, intended to try our
faith and cultivate the grace of patience.
.. What is a labor union
"A. In presidential years it is a noble
band of workers, seeking the common
good.
Q. What is it in other years?
A. A nuisance.
.. What is strike?
a. w lleh dn erection Is pending, 1t is
the dignifled appeal of laboring men for
the redress of intolerabIe grievances, and
Mark Hanna sees that the employers
give in to the men.
O. Why does he not do it at other
times?
A He is too busy.
9. What is reciprocity?
A 1t Is an arrangement by which we
invite other nations to sell TO US if thew
Will buy of us.
g. What is the protective tariff?
!. A The law devised to keep other ma
lions from selling to us.
q Then is not protection Inconsistent
With reciprocity?
A. The Republican platform says It is
not.
&. Is there any other reason?
A. There is.
Q. Can you state 1t?
A. The Republican senate refuses to
ratify reciprocity treaties
e. Is that for the purpose of keeping
recip~city consistent with protection?
A. No, it is for the purpose Of keep
ing bogus jewelry and shoddy cloth from
competition.
g Then where does reciprocity come
A. It comes in the platform.
Q. What is a platform?
A. 1t is formal promise to do GER
tain things if you are elected and do not
change your mind.
Q. Do you know what the constitution
Is?
A. It is the supreme law of part Of
the land
Q. In what part is it not supreme?
A. Where it does not apply
Q How do you know where 1t ap-
plies and where it does not apply?
a. We know that it does not apply
where it would be inconvenient to APP
ply it.
=. Does it apply to the Philippines?
A No, because the Filipinos are better
off without it.
9, What are We going to do for the
Filipinos?
a. We are going to educate them.
Q. Does that mean teach them TO read
and think?
A. II does.
O. Should we let them read and study
the American constitution?
A. No.
Q. Why not?
A. It would only confuse them.
Q. May they read the history Of the
Republican party?
A. 1t would be better not. They might
want to add chapter.
Q. VIII the Declaration of Independ-
ence be studied in Philippine schools?
A. No; ii would merely disturb them.
Q. May they read the Bible where It
says that God hath made of one blood
all nations of men?
A. No.
@. Why not?
A. That would disturb u.s.