davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12
EyoIution i'm Potato FieId

Evolution in q Potato Field
There was once a young man from the
rural districts who went TO college, and
during the first year he took in wisdom
so fast that it gave him indigestion When
he came home he essayed TO distribute his
complaint all over the district, with vary
ing success. His father appeared to be i'm
mune.
The two were in field one day, hoeing
potatoes. and the youth began on the doe
trine of evolution. Some of the facts he
got hind end foremost, and some Of them
would not have been recognized by Oar
win, but the gist OF the thing was there
He got IN part of the Origin Of Species
and some Of the Descent Of Man" and
mixed in a little of Walt Whitman. The
old man continued to hoe potatoes.
Pa" said the youth. finally, don't
you think there's something in that the
ory?"
"Humph," said the old man, twice
once with his stomach and once with his
shoulders. This was not encouraging, but
the youth tried again
IT'S great theory, pa"
''Urhl" said his father.
Now. honestly. pa. what argument can
you advance against it?'' The youth came
around in front of the old man and rested
on his hoe.
The cid man Strengthened up and pushed
his old straw hat hack from his brow. The
fringe of grey whisker under his chin
stuck straight out.
Wal, young man he said. '-Mebbe
your great-grandfather wuz monkey, but
mine warn-t: Now get after them pota-
toes"
no contributory negligence whatever? ''
asked the fire insurance agent. anxiously.
NO, said the inspector, doubtfuHy.
all the requirements Of The policy were
complied with"
Then. how did the house catch fre?"
Well, they 90 say that the CID man
used 10 a Mississippi River pilot but his
wife made him swear OF swearing, and
then, one day. the stove pipe came down
and got SCOT all over everything, and the
accumulated force OF all that profanity
came out at the same time. and, of
course-
= see. Wen, We shall have to put a
clause II our policies forbidding the hold
er to use red-hot language around the
premises, but It does seem q pity 10 re-
press a man with talents Ike that"
The most depressing thing in life IS to
keep company with persons who insist
on remembering all their old aches when
We want 10 forget ours.
Charley. what is a lay Of ancient Rome.
do you know"
I ART just to say sure. but from what
can gather, the lay Of ancient Rome was
to scoop everything in sight and call for
more
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Some of the pictures of brides and
debutantes which are published make
a person wonder whether women are
really growing palmer.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Marie Coreli bewails the fact that
there is no inspiration in public men;
but perhaps King Edward does not
care to have toe much inspiration of
the CorelH variety among his advis-
erS.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

An Ohio Republican is reported to
be after Mr. Grosvenor's seat; and
according to the mathematics of Mr..
Grosvenor he viii get it in about a
million years.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

1t IS said that the x-ray viii kin
cancer. germs; and it may come to
an Armageddon between the X-ray
and the microbe
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

There is one comfort about having
a country as large as this, and that
is, that there can be a centennial of
something somewhere every year.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

\ member OF the class OF 1904 at
Harvard has been doing stunts" as
2 human ostrich. The higher educa-
ton has about struck its limit.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

President Roosevelt has warned the
officeholders in Illinois and Colorado
to get out of politics Now, viii the
rest of us be good2
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Some Of these gentlemen who are
so anxious to find the North Pole Viii
feel before they GET through that if
they could only be sure of seeing
BARRIERS pole again, they would be
thankful.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

The vice president of d Los Angeles
bank says that the cashier thereof
had no valid excuse for going of with
the money. \ man as innocent-mind-
ed as this ought 10 hire himself out
for Il soaD advertisement.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Baron de Corty objects to his cell
because it is so different from the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. The baron is evi-
IDENTIFY not used to being hit by the
law OF cause and effect.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

The average politician spends the
first half of his career in getting next,
and the last half in finding out what
it really is he is next to.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Prince Henry may he thinking that
il would be a good thing to have a
law against lese majestic in Holland,
but if he were TO make law of that
kind now he would have to fence in
the whole population for breaking it.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

There is one good point about the
Christian Scientists; nobody can say
they are bashful.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Mabel Allen, who has been visit
ing her sister. Mrs. L. c. McNeaI, 1904 NJ
Street northwest, has returned to her
home in Falls Church, Va
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Annie c. Fuller, of Baltimore, is
visiting the Misses Shoemaker, 1924 n
Street northwest
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mr.. and Mrs. julius Baumgarten. of 40
H Street northwest, announce The be-
trothal of their daughter. Carrye. to Mr..
Nathan VI Lissberger. At home Sunday
evening, December Is.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs. s J. Geist. of Highspire, Pa, is
visiting Mrs c. B. Cutler, at the Cutler
House. 222 Third Street northwest.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs. Fairbanks has returned to town
from an extensive Southern trip, accom-
panied by her daughter, Mrs. Allen, of In
dianapolis, who will spend most of the
season with her parents.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs. Walter Keene viii be at home
Thursday, from to 6. at her home, 1893
Thirtieth Street, Georgetown
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mr.. and Mrs. Chr. Heurieh are reeeiv-
ing congratulations upon the birth of a
son.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs. Hope Morton, of St Louis, form
erly Miss Lille Carr, is visiting Mrs.
Cooley, of Georgetown.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Rosemary Rhode, 914 East Capitol
Street. is visiting relatives in PhiladeI-
pbia-
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Mary C. Philips has gone to Sum
merviIIe, s C, where she viii spend the
month of December at Dorchester Inn,
Miss Philips on her return to town will
join friends at the National Hotel for the
winter.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs s bruce, who has been visiting
her daughter and friends in New York
for some time, will return to the city next
week
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12
PERSONAL NOTES ABOUT
WASHINGTON PEOPLE.

Mr. and Mrs David PeIton Noone have
returned from their wedding trip and are
at the AlbemarIe while waiting for the
finishing touches 10 be put TO their house
or 5 Street. near Seventeenth Street
which they hope 10 occupy by January l.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mr. and Mrs. Hopkins, of Columbia
Heights. viii spend the winter at Lake
wood, y. J. and Aiken, s c, fer tie
benefit Of Mrs. Hopkins health.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mr.. Leonard Nicholson was among the
Washington dancers at the first german Of
the Junior Cotillion Club OF Baltimore OF
Friday night
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

The Misses Berry, Boss " Street, en-
tertained number of friends with pro-
gressive euchre last Saturday evening.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Gen. Isaac Khan, the Persian Minister,
arrived in Washington yesterday, after
an absence for over six months, spent in
the watering places in Europe
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Mary Franklin Wall has returned
from q visit TO Philadelphia.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Lewis Ferrell Superintendent of Docu-
ments, Government Printing Cfiee. whose
headquarters are in the old city postoffice
building on Street, is thoroughly quail
fed for the important position he holds
Before securing his present appointment
he was assistant clerk of the Committee
on Interstate Commerce of the United
States Senate of which Hon. Shelby NJ.
Cullom was for SO many years the chair
man. Mr.. Terrell is himself an IIIinoisan,
and his several years service with Sena-
tor Cullom before whose commmittee
came very wide range of difficult prob
lens gave him a training that would
enable him to fill q responsible position
in any service. In addition to the vast
fund of technical knowledge Mr.. Terrell
gained while attached to the Interstate
Commerce Committee, ne likewise alb
soTbed about as complete an acquaintance
of the foremost political leaders Of all
faiths IN the 1G2 counties of his native
state as is possessed by anybody There
is a broad education in acting as secre-
tary to q United States Senator and it is
not surprising that so many Of the men
who have held such positions naturally
glide into places of trust. Mr.. Terrell
has made very good record as the head
of the document branch of the Govern
ment Printing Off1ce and has under him
a weII-schooled. capable force Of subordi-
mates, none of whom work longer hours
than himself He believes in the merit
system. and rewards all whom he knows,
from q rather close observation of their
work and fidelity. with the increase of
salary from time to time which they de-
serve.
Fred senney, of South Dakota. who was
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Ella Fugitt. of this city. went to
Baltimore Tuesday to attend the wedding
Of her brother, Mr.. James a Fugitt. to
Miss Carrie G. Arc, of that city.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs Lucy l. Williams. an employe in
the certificate division of the Pension Of
fee. is a woman of intellect. She first
the most of exceptional opportunities for
an education. A widow for many years,
she has given the benefit of her fine mind
to the work assigned her in the Govern
ment seTvice-the first proceeds OF which
were devoted TO the cultivation Of an
only daughters voice, sending her TO Bos-
ton. New York, and the conservatory at
Leipzig Many Washingtonians will re-
member the beautiful soprano OF Alice
Williams before she married d New York
Wall Street banker and became q resi-
dent of Gotham. Mrs Williams clever
ness at penmanship has won her many
eneomiums during her career in the Pen
sion Office
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs Walcott, of New York, is guest
at the White House.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Fred Senney, of South Dakota, who was
recently appointed messenger in the
Treasury Department for duty in the office
Of Auditor R. P. Person, has had quite
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Count Quadt, First Secretary Of the
German Embassy. has returned from Chi
cago.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Emma NJ Brown, of Linganore
Hills, Nd, is visiting Mrs. Thomas Evers,
of 81 Westminster Street.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mrs John P. Jackson has rented her
house on Connecticut Avenue to Mr. and
Mrs. Craekenthorpe, of the British EN-
bassy- Before going On winter visit to
Florida, Mrs. Jackson VIII occupy an
apartment at the Everett on H Street.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

finishing touches 10 be put TO their house
or 5 Street, near Seventeenth Street,
which they hope TO occupy by January 1
The Misses Berry, Boss " Street. en-
/ tertained d number of friends with pro-
gressive euchre last Saturday evening.
Miss Mary Franklin Wall has returned
from visit to Philadelphia.
Mr.. Leonard Nicholson was among the
Washington dancers at the first german of
the Junior Cotillion Club Of Baltimore on
Friday night
Mr., and Mrs. Hopkins. of Columbia
Heights. viii spend the winter at Lake
wood, y. J. and Aiken, s. c, fer the
benefit Of Mrs. Hopkins health
Miss Ella Fugitt, of this city. went to
Baltimore Tuesday to attend the wedding
Of her brother, Mr.. James a Fugitt. to
Miss Carrie G. AFRO, of that city.
Miss Emma NJ. Brown, of Linganore
Hills, Md, is visiting Mrs Thomas Evers.
Of 81 Westminster Street.
Mrs John P. Jackson has rented her
house on Connecticut Avenue to Mr. and
Mrs. Craekenthorpe, of the British EN-
bassy- Before going On winter visit to
Florida, Mrs. Jackson viii occupy an
/ apartment at the Everett. on H Street.
Count Quadt, First Secretary Of the
German Embassy. has returned from Chi
cagO-
Mrs WaIcott, of New York. is a guest
at the White House.
Mrs. s bruce, who has been visiting
her daughter and friends in New York
for some time, will return to the city next
week
Miss Annie c. Fuller, of Baltimore, is
visiting the Misses Shoemaker, 1924 n
Street northwest.
Miss Mabel Allen, who has been visit
ing her sister, Mrs. L. c. McNeaI, 1904 NJ
Street northwest, has returned to her
| home in Falls Church, Va.
Miss Rosemary Rhode, 914 East Capitol
Street. is visiting relatives in Phladel-
phia-
Mrs. Fairbanks has returned to town
from an extensive Southern trip, accom-
panied by her daughter, Mrs. Allen, of In
dianapolis, who will spend most of the
season with her parents.
Gen. Isaac Khan, the Persian Minister,
arrived in Washington yesterday, after
an absence for over six months, spent in
the watering places in Europe
Miss Mary c. Philips has gone to Sum
merviIle, s G., where she will spend the
month of December at Dorchester Inn,
Miss Philips on her return to town will
join friends at the National Hotel for the
winter.
Mrs Hope Morton, of st. Louis, form
erIy Miss Lille Carr, is visiting Mrs.
| Cooley, Of Georgetown.
MI and Mrs Chr. Heurich are reeeiv-
ing congratulations upon the birth of a
son.
Mrs. Walter Keene viii be at home
Thursday, from 8 to 6. at her home, 1893
| Thirtieth Street, Georgetown
Mrs. S. J. Geist. Of Highspire, Pa, is
| visiting Mrs c. B. Cutler. at the Cutler
House, 222 Third Street northwest.
Mr. and Mrs. julius Baumgarten. of 40
H Street northwest, announce the be-
trotha1 of their daughter. Carrye. to Mr..
| Nathan VI. Lissberger. at home Sunday
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

an interesting career for a young man.
He and his twin brother were both mem
bers II the volunteer regiment sent By
South Ia kota to the Philippines, and were
u the thick Jf fourteen red-hot engage
ments- The twin brother received a gun
shot wound in the breast, lowered a long
time between LIE and death. but finally
recovered Mr. Senney is made for better
things than his present billet. and the
chances favor his ultimate advancement
proDFr ADVANTAGE
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

May Twins expressed determination to
retire from the stage at the end of the
present season is taken in some quarters
TO mean that she viii next year be a
member of the Weber & Fields company
in New York
According to common belief. Fay Tenn
pIeton will not be with the German come
dams another season and her piece as q
singer of coon melodies could be taken
by no one better than the comedienne who
makes the scales gTOan every time she
steps on the platform.
Then, Peter F. Daley viii also be with
the WeberfeIds aggregation next year
and with his old partner, Miss Irwin, at
his side there would be entertainment
a-plenty for the clientele of the Broadway
Music Hall.
bailey yesterday confirmed the rumor
that he would be a Weberfieldian once
more and said his experiences on the road
at the head of his own company were not
so joyous as to make him forget the com
fort and semi-hoIiday existence he en-
joyed during the time he was a member
of the famous New York burIesque organi-
cation
Clyde Fitch will supply a new play for
Mary Mannering's use for next year. In
the meantime, Miss Mannering will take
Janice Meredith" on a tour TO the Pa
cifc Coast that will last until well into
June
Miss 5Iannering has not been to San
Francisco since she was a member OF
Daniel Frohman's company, but Janice
Meredith promises to be one Of the best
paying theatrical attractions that will
tour the western country this season.
Manager Frank Mckee and family viii
accompany Miss Mannering as far as Los
Angeles, where they viii remain during
the winter.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Assistant United States Marshal VII
liam B Robinson was yesterday
deluged with applications for tickets
of admission to the Bonnie trial The
Increased demand for tickets is no Doubt
caused by the desire Of a great many per
sons 10 hear the arguments Of Charles A
Douglass for the defence and District Al
torney Gould for the prosecution.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Mr. John " Langley. appointment
clerk of the Census Bureau, has received
from the Edward Thompson Publishing
Company a set OF hnely-bOund american
and English Encyclopedia of Law. He
won this set at the Columbian University
for having submitted the best essay on
the subject of Constitutional Questions
Involved by the Government Acquiring and
the Governing OF New Territory bis es-
say won first prize among large num-
Der of contestants. Mr.. Lsngley, there
fore. feels very much elated over his sue
cess
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

Miss Lillian Pike is the only woman in
the COMPUTING, division Of the Coast Sur
vey, and her appointment TO the posi-
ton was received largely through her
excellent work accomplished while q stu
dent in this city.
The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-12

. I-U"IIt Bel, SecOnC ASSISTANT Post
master General under President Harri-
sons Administr tion. has been visiting
his old haunts at the Postofice Depart
ment the las. few days. Mr. Bell said it
afforded him the greatest pleasure TO
greet his many old friends and have an
opportunity to visit the place of his
former usefulness He is visiting IN this
city on pleasure trip and is staying at
the New Willard Mr.. Bell is now Fromi-
nently interested in New Jersey railroads
and resides at Morristown. Y j
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-12
Old
Beelzebub
Bear Story ' ED MOTT

II you are ever at this time Of year
up on the Old Passadanky sit down at
the Buckhorn tavern, select any one
OF the grizzled woodsmen you will find
already sitting there, exchange dime
at not too infrequent intervals for a
certain tipple that Is popular with the
natives and is called rum and tansy,
and refer inquiringly to Old Beelzebub.
the rem fable bear of Spook Run
gully and the amazing Christmas pres
ent he made TO one Paley Since.
AS the story goes, the Oldest settle
ment in all that part of the original
wildwood was at Passadanky. The
deep gully and the creek that roared
through it were there when the first
settlers came. Neither had any name.
and it was not until folks began TO see
ghosts along the creek and in the gully
that appropriate nomenclature for
them was suggested. Silas Grub, so
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-12
HOW TO CARVE A TURKEY.
The Art Made Plain For the Pres
tdeat OF the Feast.

The Art Made Plain For the Pres
tdent OF the Feast.
- USToM has made il usual here
abouts 10 eat turkey for our
~ Christmas dinner and accord
ingly The festive bird will
grace many table. But IL is not ev-
erybody who knows how TO carve a
turkey, and the hints given here may
help many bewildered man to SO de-
mean himself that the ordeal may not
disgrace him in the eyes of the wife of
his bosom. as well MS of those guests
who may be present at his board.
Have the turkey resting upon his
back. Put the two tined fork in about
an inch in front of the peak OF the
breastbone. where il will sink into Il
hollow formed by the peculiar con
formation Of the breastbone. The bird
is then held firmly while the carving
is being done.
The first thing to do is to take off the
legs at the second joint. Cut down
alongside the leg and bear outward
little, with the knife set well in.
The knife is inserted above the leg,
and after making an incision II is
pressed outward. The second joint
then parts easily from the body. Art
er both legs are removed in this man
ner the wings should be cut off, the
knife being used on practically the
same principle as that employed in re-
moving the legs.
The next point for the skillful carver
is to separate the "drumstick,' or first
joint, from the rest Of the leg. This Is
done by fixing the fork in the second
joint of the turkey. Then an incision
is made ut the joint. and the end of
the leg is then pressed down with the
knife.
The breast Of white meat Is now at
tackled. The fork is again placed over
the hreastbone i'm the original position,
and slices are removed from the breast.
The slicing should commence near the
peak Of the breastbone. the cuts being
taken thinly. the knife held horizontal
ly and the cuts extending downward
toward the wings. After the meat has
been taken from both sides of the tur-
keys breast i'm this fashion the knife
is inserted transversely behind the lit
tie projection on the breast between
the peak and the neck. This is formed
by the "wishbone. or merry thought.
The knife slips easily between this and
the breastbOne. SO that the "wishbone"
is easily removed, carrying with ii a
liberal portion of white meat. The re-
mova Of the "wishbone" makes con
venient opening into the interior of the
turkey, through which a spoon may he
inserted for the removal of the tasty
dressing.
Nothing now remains but the car
cass of the turkey, and the only task is
TO disjoint it. This Is done by first re
moving the breastbone BY means of
the fork the peak of the bone is raised
and swung over toward the neck, dis
jointing ii near the base of the latter.
The neck. If desired. can be removed.
leaving only one more portion of the
bird TO be dealt with This Is the back
bone.
The backbone is broken about three
inches above the tail. and there you
are. The ACKNOWLEDGMENT of your tur-
key is now complete.