The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-08-30

countryman:
"rll bet You anything you like you
cannot spell three simple words that l
shall give you within forty seconds
"1'll take that on. Now, then, what
are they?" said the countryman.
"Well, here goes" said the Londoner,
as he pulled out his watch: London
"L-o-n-d-o-n:"
Watching"
"W-a-t-c-h=i-n-g."
Wrong" said the Londoner.
"What?" exclaimed the countryman, in
surprised tones; "I've spelt the words you
gave me correctly. I'm certain I'm not
Times up!' the Londoner said, tri-
umphantly, why didn't you spell the
third word-w-r-o-n-g?"- London Spare
Moments.
From the Skinned Pup Gulch Clarion
and Weekly Trumpet of Freedom: AN
unknown man was discovered dead by
Shangai Pete and Soapless Bill in the
canyon off the Ophir road. He was rid
died with bullets and our efficient coro-
ner, Doc Simmons, will try and solve the
riddle. "-1ndianapolis Press.
4 correspondent of the Toronto Mail
and Empire tells the following marriage
fec story Of an Ontario clergyman: Aft
asked the fee. The clergyman replied:
1.-The law allows me 81. but l leave it to
the generosity Of the groom" ''Ah," an
swers the groom; 1.-The law allows you s..
Well. here's so cents" rendering the
clergyman silver half-dollar; that
makes it $3.50" The clergyman kept
the silver; no explanations made.
The Boston journal testifes to the fol-
If brio DIR az
Holyoke college. 1t happened that they
had hash for supper and meat balls the
next morning for breakfast. YES" she
said, as she glanced at the table, Re
view of Reviews this morning.
"Boss,' said an old negro, looking in
through the postoffice stamp window yes
terday, "how much does hit TEX ter sen
TO- letters?"
Eight cents" said the man within.
"Hush!''
"Fact!''
The old man studied awhile. got out his
leather book, vintage Of 1855, and wor-
ried eight coppers OUT Of the lining. Lay.
ing these on the counter he drew q long
breath and said:
We'll, you en- let 'em go 'long"'
"But where are the letters:'
"Whar is day? Why, | done drapt
EN- in de hole 'roun' younder!''
The letters were fshed out. STAMPED
graph.
The Ladder of Preferment.-First Law
yer-"Young Blackstone has political as
pirations, hasn't he?" Second Lawyer
why do you think SOP" First LAWYER
II notice he calls all the barkeepers by
their first names."-New York Weekly.
The Manly g.-Eleanor-"No, I
can't bear college theatricals. I don't
like to see man take a woman's part"
Rosalie-"My goodness! 1 think it would
be cowardly of him if he didn't Phila-
delphia Evening Bulletin.
In a Mississippi town where Charles
B. Hanford was playing he was intro
duced to one Of the prominent local poll
ticians, candidate for Congress at this
time, says the New York Telegram.
80 you are Private John Allen -
he said. senially.
Mr.. Allen owned to the soft impeach-
ment.
We'll. have something to drink"
Il thank you,' was the answer But
fee
Then take a cigar
Il am sorry, but l don't use tobacco. -"
Don't drink and don't use tobacco.
Well, sir, it's no wonder you remained
Il private. You'd never do for a colonel
or major in this part Of the country"
She (coldly)-"Our engagement. sir. is
at an end. | shall return everything you
have ever given me-"
ne ,. ,ciheerful!y)-:IhankS. dear, YOU
lier's Weekly.
An Eye for the Personalities
Smoothe-"No, l cannot give YOU nv an
swer until the first of next year" Mr..
Softeigh-"But. why? You say YOU love
me, and Miss Smoothe-''Why. you
silly thing! If our engagement were an
nounced now. none Of the other men
would send me single Christmas gift. y
Baltimore American.
Harriet: that pcsky dog of yours has
Dear me, Harry, how you do grum-
BILE: You ought to be glad they are on
You instead of on poor little Binkie.''-
Life.
British Museum Newton. the archaeo-
logist. was capital story teller. and 7
c. Hare has preserved two or three of
his tales in his book: STORY of My Life y
One is spiritualistic seance. where an
old cockney was informed that the spir-
it manifested was his deceased wife.
whereupon the following dialogue took
place:
rs that you, !'Arriet?''
Yes, it is me-
Are you 'appy. 'Arriet?"
Yes, very 'appy."
riet p
Yes. much 'appier."
where are you, 'Arriet?''
In 'ell.''
Pirate Captain-"By the beard of Can't.
Kidd, this will be hot fight!.' Cab
in-boy--"'P PARTICULARLY, sir, if we put a
stove in the side of that yessel."-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Tess-'sAIay Winsnm is onito III ~,