The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-02-22

Afther being out six weeks we sue
,aded IN gittin' back our jobs.-Puek.
Mistress (severely)-If such a thing
occurs again. Norah. shall have to get
another servant Norah-I wish yer
would; there's easily enough work fer
two Of us.-Tit-Bits.
She-Have you read that continued
story in the paper? He-Not all of 1t.
She How far did you getf Hell fin
ished the synopsis OF preceding chap
tiers. - Brooklyn Life.
Golf and chess: FoOzle-I suppose
you are willing 10 admit that golf is an
pastime7 Bunker-Yes. in
about the same sense that chess is an
athletic game.-Boston Transcript.
What kind OF a man is this John
SmithY "Oh, he's the kind that
thinks he can bold on to his umbrella
by having his name engraved on the
handle New York Evening World
Sportsman Ito Smith. who hasn't
brought down a single bird all day.
Do you know Lord Peckham Smith
Oh, dear. yes; I've often shot at his
house. Sportsman-Ever hit it?-Fun.
Lucky Bingles: "Bingles is a lucky
man; his time goes right on whether he
is waking or sleeping, sick or well"
What Is Bingle's businessY' Watch
maker Columbus (Ohio) State Jour
nal
A scientist at work: "How did you
come to be a professional beggarT Il
amt no professional beggar. I'm en-
played to git up statistics on how many
heartless people they is in this town.
Chicago Record.
Homegrown lustre; Then you don't
bank much on ancestral prideT" mo;
1t is more to a mans credit to start
from nowhere and be somebody than to
start from somewhere and be nobody"
indianapolis Journal
The exact truth exacted: Caller
you look like a good and truthful girl;
tell me-is your mistress really outG
Domestic-She is, ma'am. Caller
Where? Domestie-At the elbows.
ma'am.-Chicago Tribune
well, Borus," said Naggus, the EN-
inent literary critic. Il see you began
the new century right" "How's that?"
asked Borus, the struggling author. Il
don't understand" You didn't write
any poem about it'-Chicago Tribune
A Subsidy Defined: Il see so much In
the newspapers about subsidies. What
does a subsidy mean. John?" "A sub
sidy. Mary, is where l give you twenty
dollars for going TO see your mother in
stead of having her come 10 see you
Denver News.
So Consoling: Lady Whose mare has
Just kicked member of the hunt, who
was following too eloselyl-Oh. I'm so
sorryl / do hope il didn't hurt youl
She's such a gentle thing. and could
only have done it in the merest play.
you know.-Punch.
Towne-"That boy Of Jones' is older
that he looks, isn't he? Browne
don't think so. Why? TOwne-I saw
him out skating to-day. and he never
once tried 10 see how near he could go
to the danger sign without falling in
Philadelphia Press.
Useless: You didn't submit quietly
to their gagging you, did your" asked
the officers who had hurried to the
scene as soon as the robbery was over.
Nor gasped the victim; Il ehewed the
rag. Of course. but what good did that
doT-Chicago Tribune
What do you find in that stupid old
paper to keep you so busyT petulantly
asked Mrs. Youngcouple. II was just
looking at the money market" he an
swered "Oh. do they have a money
market? Are there ever any bar
gains T-IndianapOlis Press
Mr.. Sophtie-Well. Willie, your sister
! has given herself TO me for a Christ
mas present; what do you think of
that2 Willie-Huhl That's what she
: done fur Mr.. Brown last year. an he
4, gev her back before Easter; bet you'll
: do the same.-PhiladeIphia Record.
: Man." said the up-to-date maiden.
sis but a mixture of arrogance, tobac
co, and football statistics" Woman.
answered the end-of-the-century man
+ "is no more than a compound Of vanity
D cosmetics. and golf poses" And ther
they were married.-DetrOit Free Press
Walker-The bride was quite pOpu
= lar girl. wasn't she? Watkinson-Yes
indeed the Evening Sacrifcer sent It's
sporting man to report it; he printed 9
list of rejected lovers half column
!. long under the heading Among Thos'
Who Also Ran."-St Louis POst-Dis
: patch.
The Prima Donna (after the first act
Il won't go on again unless that box
party makes less noise. l nearly hat
hystericsl The Manager lin surprised
didn't hear any noise. The Prima
IL On