New-York tribune., 1901-12-04
THE TiLk OF THE DAY.

A little Boer girl in a concentration camp in
South Africa recently wrote English compost
ton. in which she said: II Will try 10 learn Eng
lish that 1 say to the Kakky, hands up:
am twelve years old This is my first English
writing"
"Remember." said the impressive person. that
your ancestors have left YOU an honored name ="
Well" answered the titled youth ruefnllyi 1t
a bank.''-(Washington Star.
A busInessike wedding was celebrated at Fort
Scott Kan. the other day. The parties were aged,
respectively. seventy and sixty-four Both
possessed OF valuable property, and the
bride Is the owner of several farms Before the
ceremony agreement signed to the effect
that each should have control of the property be
longing each. However. the good woman got a
little the better OF the dckering BY the terms of the
agreement she is to have life interest In his
estate after death. but he is not given the same
right with respect hers. After everything had
been completed comfortably. the two stood up and
married and then the husband attempted 10
salute his bride. Go way. John" she said, Il
amt going 10 let you kiss me in public
THAT man." said the modern Sherlock. came
How do you know asked the observer
a drug store without hunting for the side door. -
philadelphia Record.
The Kansas City Journal says: The gentle
evangelist who is ChrstIanizing Wellington at
times grows positively Irresistible in his calls to
night: oh, can see by your looks that a lot Of
you old rednosed buzzards can't stand it to stay
through the meeting without drink-and if you
want to get out, now git
sandy-What are yer layn' here fer. pqrd?
me a dollar wid de understandn' dat / take a bath
sandy-Ysr aint going to deceive him pard?
bath I'm going to make it a sun bath.-Hhila-
delDhia Record
There is a in Boston who when awake is
the soul of honor and probity. and who has con-
sderation for the rights of others that is almost
abnormal And vet In his dreams his whole nature
is apparently changed. and his chief diversion is
the wanton destruction OF property Nothing af-
fords him so much satisfaction to enter
apothecary shop and without the slightest provo
cation and from pure righteousness destroy with
his cane the showcases, glass Jars and bottles.
Young Brewster wed Adeline Worcester,
But nobody knew what indorcester
In In writinF srl,, E. her tba name sanee
And make II read "Adeline Brorcester''
Baltimore American
California was credited with 100000 barrels of
petroleum last year, and several good authorities
estimate product OF 1901 at 100000 1900 900
barrels. But w. J. Young tells The Engineering
and Mining Journal that in his opinion the
latter figures much too low. If this develop
ment continues long not merely Texas but Penn
syIvania and West Virginia also will be in danger
of eclipse.
Few Years Hence,-"Anything going on this
evening""
Gardens fellow will undertake to subdue
men ass to 1na do W n in one hour or % forfeit %
tChicago Tribune
man who travels through rural Maine writes
TO ''The Kennebec Journal: Whoever knew such
times as these? Farmers my route selling
eggs for 30 cents dozen, and some of them
% cents Apples selling for So and 50 so: pota
toes are 70 quick; butter % cents to %
cents Some farmers got over $500 out of sweet
of apples this fall There other men in my
town who will get about $1,000 from their apples
alone Others will get that amount out of hay.
Help is so scarce that some of the first farmers
will be obliged to cut their own wood for winter
Whoever heard of such time? l think our good
papers ought to show up to the people the times
they really are George Fred Williams had better
Brvan better show up in the East again What
pack of calamity howlers they were, l wish 1t
might be shown to the people in such way that
they would never forget it,
Charity bazaar in the 'Steenth Ward ,
The tallow faced young man approached the
table where the strappng girl with red cheeks was
selling candy. -.
will you give kiss for in addtion?"
TWENTY-FIVE cents" she said.
to me for that? It's for charity. remember
Yes" she answered, reluctantly. but We lose
money every one 1 sell for that'-tChicaso
Tribune.