Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-01-24
BOSCObel Bon BOnS.
Toothsome Topics Of Town.
Home Happenings, School Studies. Street
Scenes and SanctuaF. Services.

That Sentinel Safe: Tne Sentinel
sports 4 safe! Shade Of the glorious
Gutenberg defend rs! That parent of
printing spent most of his time III
lodging his creditors, sold his coat to
develop his invention, and died at last
in poverty and loneliness. And from
Gutenberg to "Goldy the terms. print
or and publisher have been synonyms
Of shortage and insignias Of impecuni-
osity. And now the publisher Of this
paper has thrown the whole craft into
Consideration by the statement that
the Sentinel has a safe. And he wants
it opened too. He is bidding for a
burglar! As if it made any difference
10 a printer whether a safe was open
or shut. And what if it is opened:
VIII it be like another Aladdins cave.
viii wealth be won
That far outshines the wealth
Oy Ormus or Of Ind
No. no. There will be naught but an
aching void which gold can never
fill There will be only a cobwebbed
cave Of gloom, more dark and dismal
that populistic political platform.
And what Will the new newspaper
do with the tormenting thing that so
leers and laughs at it's plodding patient
publisher? Set it up as "a scare-crOW
to patent medicine men: Offer it as
ornament to be placed among the brio
a-brac of some parlor: Stand it out
on the sidewalk as sign Of the weight
of brain that works within? Do with
it? DO with it? Why every night
Goldy viii solemnly shut up his shears
and put away his paste pot, and lock
no list Of subscribers. some of whom
have soarings after the infinite and
divings after the unfathomable but
never pay cash, and go home to
dream of the horrible hobgoblin that
men call safe.
DO with it? Do with it? Why that
publisher will find unnumbered uses
for that prodigious piece Of property.
He viii use it as a weight to tie him to
terra iirma when his imagination scars
to the skies, when poesy points his
pushing pencil and patriotism flows
out through his fingers, and in thought
he roams through realms ethereal and
he comprehends no longer the cry for
copy and hears no longer the good
womans wall for wood. then that
solemn safe will speak to him Of things
both practical and profane, and like
Zaccheus he will come down.
Do with it? Do with it? He Will
put it mp as premium Every fel
low who subscribes for the Sentinel
and sends in the '.scads' will have a
chance to guess at the weight of the
safe at twenty five cents per guess and
the subscriber who makes the best
guess can carry the old thing off on his
back or wheel it away in a wheel-bar-
row And that settles the question as
to which paper will have the longest
list of subscribers For every citizen
Of the county bankers after IA safe
Stocking legs ravel out. banks burst;
but safes are secure. You can't open
en-. So from this day forward, sub
scriptions will pour into that print
shop. But never. 10 never, will that
publisher use that safe as place to
put his cash into cold storage Perish
the Sordid thought. Vet Goldy need
not feel 50 big Just because he has Sc
cured a safe. He has no monopoly on
vaults This office has Il safe, too.
There il stands in SphinN-like solem-
nifty But we don't want it opened
There would be too much Lest we for
get, about the operation. Memories
of the old cash box of other days
would rise up and haunt MS We are
in the forgetting business now days
and we want to do "A good Job at it. So
let the safe stay shut Besides its de
sirahle that some things should shut
up. \ book agent for example, or 4
populist speaker or a county court
kicker Let en- all learn lesson.
Goldy from our shut up safes So we
don't care continental for the COM
hination TO our cash box. We only
want to hold onto our hall" to play
even up With the Sentinel And next
July when W. round up Jersey we
will haul home oar hall" for the good
wife to use rs milk safe But to
desecratc 1t as store box for silver.
why we wouldn't be guilty Of such IA
thing. Selah,
LESSONS ERoM ! LIFE.
Renown is not reached by riches.
Worth is not won by wealth Pinch