Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-05-30

NJ
he TOOK ME Ply DER NECK UND WALKS ME
OUT.
you. Look at my case. When l start
out for myself, | don't hat but two
patches und pair of trousers. If |
waits for peesness, | vhas bankrupt
man. 10 | wait! Not mooch | hus-
tie. | make der pooblic come und pay,
und pooty soon | hat coats und vests
Tor sale, und dot banana man next door
takes off his hat to me-.
''Nhell, like to hustle too"
den | Will show you how. Don't
you read dose advertisements in der
papers: Don't you see about spring
stocks. selling off to make room. great
reductions. great bargains. unparallel-
ed advantages und all datf Man. vhas
you plindE'
But dose vhas dry goods | says.
1T yhas no deeference Don't you
pellet der peoples WANTS bargains in
shoes und cement patches ash Well ash
in towels und stockings? II vhas all
bargains bargains, bargains. Look at
me. hat some signs in my window
dot clean und press a pair of trousers
for der next 80 days for feefteen cents.
You shust get up und hustle for PEGS
ness
Nhell, he yhas some Sherman mans
ind hat made n soocess, ind | pellet
in him, don't l? shust think about
it for awhile, und l tells my wife we
shall hustle und ! make sign dot
reads: Tremendous Spring Bargains
Ash Neffer Nhas Pefore. Price of Ce-
ment Patches Cut In Two to Make
Some Room For Shoe Pegs Come In
PefOre She Was Too Late" Ply gol-
ly, but dot sign pleases me. und hang
her oop in der window una rub my
hands like dis. 1t don't seem ten min
utes pefore an old man comes in und
says:
Hey. cobbler, but l see you vhas
oOp NIT der times. No moss vhas on
your back Dot vhas right Don't let
der big stores draw your customers
AWAY. pellet | will take advantage
of dot occasion 10 get a cement patch
on my shoe for seven und q half cents.
Put her right on, und your money vhas
ready"
"But cement patches vhas feefteen
cents" / says.
"Oh, no. Feefteen cents vhas old
prices. Dot sign says you hat cut
prices in two. You can't work some
gum games on me-
"But don't you understand" / says,
dot my sign vhas a draw? If put on
a cement patch for seven und half
cents. shall charge you 40 cents for
a lift on your heel
"Cobbler," says dot old man ash he
looks down on me. you Was some
swndlers. 1t Was false pretense. l
like to put a lift on both your heels
und somewhere else pesides for not
ting at ALL"
/ try to argue NIT him. but he calls
me names und don't let me talk. und
when he goes oudt he says lie Will
tell eaferypody dot vhas scoundrel
vhas discouraged When a woman
comes in nit an old shoe dot has twelf
holes in it,
Good morning. cobbler' she says
Il vhas waiting for a spring bargain
"und now she vhas come Twelf holes
und twclf cement patches. und l gif
YOU 90 cents. | like dot shoe by
O'Clock. so l can see my sister mar
ried"
"But don't you onderstand?' says.
"Of course | do. You like to get in
ten barrels Of shoe pegs. und 50 you cut
der price Of cement patches in two to
make room. 1t vhas as plain as der
legs on horse. Seven o'clock remem-
Der"
But cement patches vhas feefteen
cents"
Not 50. Don't you pellet | can
read: II vhas half price. der same as
a coonskin muf"
Don't you read Of some tremendous
bargains in der papersF" says
"Of course l do. vhas always on
der lookout for bargains"
-Und when you 90 py dot store do you /
find dose bargains? OF course not. 1t /
shas q draw. All der bargains vhas
shust sold oudt, und you buy some cor /
SEES at s."
''cIot bit Of it," she says ash she
makes her arms go around. "Yben l 80