The Savannah morning news., 1901-10-27

VIII SoSCS VI assault anu DdlleTy lHdL
every time | hear a couple raisin' a
bigger racket than the law allows, /
rush to the rescue expectin' to find
the unfortunate man wallowin' in
syrup. And pretty often 1 do find
him so. Or If it amt syrup, it's eggs.
Some women fighters are regular egg
fiends. They have what might be call
ed the egg-t'rowin' habit, and even
when eggs is 40 cents a dozen they
save enough money to buy mess to
lather their enemies with.
'Rollin' pins, stove lids and fryin'
pans amt fashionable any more. Nine
tenths of the women in New York
don't know what a rollin' pin looks
like. They buy all their stuff at bak-
cries an cook on gas range.
But dishes are still in the ring, you
bet. l just wish that I had all the
money that is spent in this town every
year to replace the plates and cups
and saucers and things that get
much I'd have such a comfortable in
come that could afford to quit tramp
in the streets lookin' for trouble, and
retire on my DISH reakin' revenue.
Why, I'd have $25 a week, at least,
from my own territory alone, and IL
amt so bad, either. There are plenty
of other districts a heap worse than
mine, if l do say it myself Oh. yes.
women know how to fire dishes, all
right, and the fellow that's onto his
job will do some mighty tall dodgin'
when he sees 'em comm. for as a rule
the dish fingers use the ten-cent res
taurant variety that would brain an
elephant.
When it comes to worse weapons,
just give Dago a dagger and a color
ed woman knife-a penkife. butcher
knife, case knife, any old kind of a
knife, just so it will cut and slash. and
she will be happy as the day is long
Irish women are great scrappers, too,
but they go in for spankin. They are
women of Drawn, and it's easy as pie
for them to lay a. fellow out and pad
die him. Then, there are chairs and
bed Stats and irons. They all come in
handy. Forks are also popular as do
mestic weapons. There is one woman
down my way that was perforated
from head to toe yesterday with fork
She is in pretty bad fix, but ! guess
she'll pull through with care.
THE woman with a gun is a rare
bird. She don't go on the warpath very
often, But when she does she makes
things count. Before windin' this up,
it might be as well to say too, that wo-
men can do a good deal of damage with
their finger nails and teeth. I'd hate
like the mischief to be bit by a woman.
or scratched by her, for when she
gets mad she's real poisonous. Also,
while were on the subject wonans
weapons, there is one that you must
not forget, because it is far more COM
mon and powerful than any of the
others I've told you about"
His questioner looked up curiously
And that?" she asked.
The policeman edged a little further
away, as # fearful of the consequences.
Her torgne." he said.
How to Cook a Husband" is the
title of book recently published. The
work is intended to be humorous, but
there is much of wisdom in some of its
pages, as a few extracts will show,
says the Chicago Chronicle. Some wo-
men go about it," the author remarks,
'as if their husbands were bladders
and blow them up. Others keep them
constantly in hot water; others let them
freeze by their carelessness and indif-
ference. Some keep them in a stew by
irritating ways and words. Others
roast them. Some keep them in pickle
all their lives. 1t cannot be supposed
that husbands will be tender and good
managed in this way but they are de-
licious when properly treated, In Sc
be guilel by the silvery appearance, as
in buying mackerel or by the colder
tint as if you wanted salmon. Be
sure to select him yourself, as tastes
differ. Do not go to market for him.
as the best are always brought to your
door 1t is far better to have none
unless you will patiently learn how to
cook him. A preserving kettle of the
finest porcelain is the best, but If you
have nothing but an earthenware pip
kin it will do with care.
See that the linen in which you
wrap him is nicely washed and mend
ed with the required number of but
tons and strings. Tie him in the kettle
by strong, silk cord called comfort,
as the one called duty is apt to be
weak They are apt to fly out of the
kettle and be burned and crusty on the
edges, since, like crabs and Holsters,
you have to cook them while alive.
Make a clear, steady fire out of love,
neatness and cheerfulness. Set him as
near this as seems to agree wit him.
If he sputters and flzzes do not be anx-
ious; some husbands do this until they
are quite done. Add a little sugar
in the form of what confectioners call
kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any
account. A little spice improves him.
but must be used with judgment. Do
not stick any sharp instrument into
him to see if he is becoming tender.
Stir him gently; watch the while lest
he lie too fiat or close to the kettle and
so become useless. You cannot fail
to notice when he is done. II thus
treated you will find him very digesti-
BILE, agreeing nicely with you and the
children. and he will keep as long as
you want unless you become careless
and set him in too cold a place"
On the occasion of the last visit of
the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall and
York to Toronto the women of that city
presented her royal highness with a
writing set of Canadian gold and Lake
Superior amethysts. The set comprised
a portfolio. ink bottle, pen tray, paper
weight, paper knife, penholder and
other writing conveniences, and the
color effect was that of gold and anne
thyst on white and crystal. The port
folio was of white kid, showing sprays
of maple leaf traced in gold, with tiny
leaves in relief, and an amethyst sur
rounded by pearls in the center of each
spray. A monogram set in pearls, with
the royal arms above 1t, completed the
decoration of this article, and the mon
ogram also appeared on the other arti-
Giles of the set. The ink bottle, tray
and paper weight were of polished
crystal, decorated with sprays Of gold
en- maple leaves with beavers climbing
up through the foliage. Each foot Of
the tray and of the bottle was made
of a single amethyst, held by four
maple leaves, and the handle OF the
paper weight. the top Of the ink bot
tie and the ends of the penholder and
knife were finished with single anne
fhYst surrounded by nearls The nen