The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1901-08-31
A Real Funny story.

Old Tim I.inkins, the barber ofWabash Ave
nuc. Chicago. is q great student Of proverbial
philosophy and he sometimes entertalns Ms
customers, In the interval OF "scrape' or
haircut" by his apt applications OF tne we'll
known proverbs of the past to the conditions
or requirements Of the present. His regular
customers know his strong point, and many a
man who apparently goes in for o shave, IS
really in search Of q rest in cosy chair, ana
has desire to hear Tin" hold forth pro-
verbally. Ono day last week stranger came
in for a shave, and he stretched himself
YEARLY in the chair Tim prepared to lather
him. The man incldently remarked that he
had been prevented "Well, it's better late
than never" said Tim, smilingly. Not al
ways replied the stranger, slowly. How
about losing your pocketbook never lost
one until yesterlay-never did, but L would
sooner have kept it. Now, why was 1t better
for me to lose It late than not at all ?" I'm
acknowledged that he was wrong and the man
continued Don't know what would have
done in my prcdicament, only an old acquaan-
lance of mine on the Lake front let me have
twenty to go on with" "Ah," clipped in
Tim, THAT was good! A friend in need is a
friend indeed" "No, he isn't" snapped the
man who was being shaved. There you re-
dead wrong again. How can a friend TN need
be friend indeed? have good many friends
who are always in need and they are nuisance
t. mo- Always on tho borrow. Tim thought the
problem over in his mind and reluctantly ad-
mitted that the man was right. He had al
most made up his mind not to speak again
when the stranger continued, Eyes sir, they
nre nuisances. Why, one of them fellows has
been calling on me for the past year ana
threatens to get even with me some way II
do not loan him fifty dollars. He threatens
, me at every visit" ooh, l wouldn't mind
that" replied Tim unconsciousiy, you know
tho old adage "A barking dog never bite' y
There YOU arc again" said the "shavee - az
he wiped little lather from the corner OF
his mouth. Say what do you. know about
dogs, any way, that you talk in such silly
strain Have you ever ventured to go 100
close to barking doy,-and If you did, what
did he do TO you Did you ever know bark.
ing dog that didn't bite if be got the chance?
Tim said he couldn't exactly call to mind any
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled the
claim in the proverb, and there was silence
for O few minutes while his razor was gliding
over tho mans face. Then the barber smiled
to himself as lie bethought him Of good JOKE.
II suppose, he said, as he applied the bay
rum II suppose you don't believe in the bar
bcrs proverb at all?" What's that 2 asked
tho stranger, rising. Two heads arc better
than one,' answered Tim "of course yon
can understand why they are, in my business.
bat know you would like to say they would
be bad for man with the headache Or
Nothing of the kind put in the other, smil-
ing. Zone Of your proverbs, at least, Is right.
happen to know that two heads arc better
than one.'' Then you don't object to that
old adage p Not at all It is dead right 81 It:
Aud would thank you very much II you have
any stray Lion heads at hand-those taken
from the Li,:n Coffee wrappers. My wife i:
collecting them and she is about six shy o.
tho number required to get Ladys Cole
Watch You see in this case "two heads ar
better than one, and twenty are better thar
ten" "Just So" added Tim, cheerfully, "bu
you see, my wife is doing the same thing. anl
expects premium in a few weeks. So to hel
also, two heads are better than one. well
in that case" said the stranger, as he pait
Tim for the shave and prepared to depart
"you had better tell your wife to do tho same
o. m ne is doing. Save up the Lion heads
until after September LIST next, when the new
Premium List is Issued. Then if che send:
them to the Woolson Spice Co., y oledo, OHIO
she can have her pick of some very choice
presents"