The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-05-03
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SPINNING WHEEL 1:|

&SrAH T. st"F&4 81
; SPINNING WHEEL.
MAUD MULLER UP TO DATE.
Maud Muller, on q summers day,
Got tired CT raking up the hay,
And said, as she gazed at her bare feet
II guess better blow out to town."
And the Judge came a-riding along that way
In his automobile, and to her did say:
Gene, get in. Maudie, and take ride
And soon she was nestled close to his siie
Now, the judges wife has hair of red.
And She had forty fits as they past her
sped
It was only an innocent frolic, of course,
But she's suing him, all the same: for
divorce. Baltimore World.
Joel Chandler Harris, writing in the
Worlds Work about Democratic chaos,
says:
''As for the Dimmycrats," remarks Mr..
Sanders, the times past when you can
som'ers else. The party has got to that
pint whar it can't be hurt any wuss an
whar it can't be holp by anybody on the
outside. It's got to wash its face an
hans an put on some clean buds an 20
back to fust principles: It's got to put
men in the lead that knows what fnst
principles is-men who won't up an
swar that they'r own idees an opinions
is fust principles.
What it needs is man, OF set Of
men, who can look into Their own minds
an know what the people want. You
nee'nter tell me-thar never was a day
when the people of this country wasn't
purity nigh all on 'em Dimmycrats, an
they don't need no organizin' on that
line. All that the party needs is to put
its headlight in front instead of behind,
an to stop foolin' wi men that thinks
the republic has been wrecked ever time
a betsy bug flies ag'in the wall. Eff you
was to rake the country over wi a fine
tooth comb. you couldn't find wuss old
mossback than me. don't like changes,
an Pm so sot in my ways that I'll wake
up eff the clock stops tickin', an yit eff I
cant git waft1es for breakfast, I can git
along mighty we'll WI battercakes, an
eft l can't get battercakes. can put up
wi four or five right hot biscuit"
"Have you seen Prof. McEwen, the
hypnotist?' asked Gimlet, as he brutally
kicked off the rear platform the little
mud Of the street which had accompanied
him on board.
NO: 1 don't want to, either replied
Weirdiy, who was having one of his
udNS.
why. for 50 cents. believe that chap
could turn a paper doll into dead boy"
Ihats nothing: you come with me,
and for cents I'll turn glass of beer
into a live manufactured Star.
Lord Salisbury is one of the most ge-
NAL of men when seated with his friends
at a well-laden dinner table. SAYS Lon
don correspondent. One evening while so
situated he had been keeping the whole
company alive by his conversation, when
suddenly! he stopped short in what he
was saying, and his face was seen to be-
come grave an anxious. After a pause
Of some minutes, during which his lord
ship sat speeches. and motionless. his
neighbor asked him what was tho mat
ter.
1T has Gomez he muttered in voice
of .. &sfpair e.. oon, o., ,,.... y,
reply.
1T has come at last. The doctor said
it must. l have been expecting it for
these last ten years, and now it has
come"
But what has Gomez" asked the ques-
toner, thoroughly frightened. Are you
ill?'
Il am seized with paralytic stroke. I
have pinched my leg again and again and
can feel nothing"
"Oh' you can set your mind at rest on
that point,' was the reply. 1T is nv
leg that you have been pinching."
"Ouida's latest story is called Street
dust"
Must be dry"
III bet it isn't to be sneezed att
lit will surely meet with sweeping crit
icisms.'
,h And 1af,,l be Lucky if it isn't carried off in
But l can see, of course, why she
named it that
Why"
Because it will be something to blow
about. '-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Maurice Barrymore earned a reputa-
ton as wit and really deserved it. His
style could be less successfully trans
ferr:d to the stage, as his effort at comic
writing showed, but in it's spontaneous
phases its effect always told. One of the
stories recalled about him the other night
at the Lambs club dated from his ex-
periences with Nine. Modjeska, with
whom he acted for several years. He
had been as careless as he often was on
the stage, and Nine. Modjeska. with all
the conSclentlousness Of a great artist,
protested that he had no right to take his
calling so lightly and that if he did not
owe it to his reputation to do his best he
at least owed it to her. because she had
done 50 much in his behalf and had put
him before the public in a dignified and
serious line of parts. why. madame, .
ne said. 1T is not You who brought me
before the public and mace me known
People had heard Of me all over the
United States when they thought that
Modjeska was only the name of tooth
wash.'
4 gentleman went into a Philadelphia
bookstore the other day and asked for a
copy Of 1zaak Walton's most famous
book. The price is $1.25,' said the
salesman. What about the discount? p
suggested the customer. NO, sir, the
price is net" replied the salesman
What" shouted the customer, "a net
price for The Complete Angler and
markcd on the cover, too? Poor ole
1zaak No, l can't buy The Complete
Angler at net price; it would be q
Extract from r. Crusoe's Diary
April 1-With what celebrity has my
man Friday mastered the subtleties OF
the English language!