Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1901-03-08
A Communication from Mars.


Mr., Editor 1t may not be generally
known by those who are considering the
glorious progress of the twentieth century
that starter in its achievements has already
been made, and that one of our great cleo
tricians, Prof Nicola Tesla, has received a
wireless telegram from Marsl While testing
one OF his lately invented electrical machines
on high mountain in Colorado he noticed
that his receiver was feeby bobbing, SINH
lar TO that of boys fishing tackle on a
cold day IN April, aud as il was clear that
the current was not earthly and that it was
not In the direction of the sun or moon, that
1t must certainly have come from Mars
1t is very encouraging to realize that our
sister planet desires to communicate with
US, probably with the hope of soon becom-
ing an American province, with the full
benefits Of our refinement and evangelical,
ton.
Great and glorious as Prof Tesa's achieve.
ment has been, he Is not the first that has
made scientific Investigations of Mars. A
famous astronomer, a few years ago, discov-
cred that that planet had two mighty canals
in operation. The astronomer, of course,
could learn nothing of the profits OF the
canals, or the manner of working them. lie
could only see, while it is left to Prof, Tesla
to ascertain, by wireless telegraphy, all OF
the facts relating to the canals and other in
situations Of our sister planet.
The investigating astronomer has clearly
shown thai the canals OF Mars are none OF
our tortuous Chesapeake and Ohio bitches,
with the patient mule and the towboy, elo.
quent in unscriptural language, but canals
that can bear on their bosom our Oceanics
and our Kaiser Wilhelms der Crosse. He
da0l raa hat thau mr. that the
mighty Hay Paunceforte ditch can never
equal, and that the De Lesseps achieve.
ment will be a small thing in comparison
with them.
Another triumph of the twentieth CEN
tury, and one through which we can learn
more about Mars, is the Air Ship. II has
foated a quarter of mile already, which is
q very good beginning, and while we have
buoyant hopes of its successful completion
we would yet advise those couples who wish
to make a bridal tour Tor tOwer) to Mars
not to postpone trip until the first voyage
of the ship to Mars lie made. They NIGH
possibly have to wait too long. A voyage
through the Hay Pauncefoute canal ought Il
be grand enough for any reasonable bride
and then, when the Air Ship is started, hel
best man will have likely retired from bust
ness with wealth sufficient to enable them
with their lovely progeny, to take trip t.
the moon, or, better still, a cooling off expe
ditIon to the pole.
The writer, being an American patriot
would suggest further that the inventor o
the Air Ship and Prot. Tesla be put il
pound, and an armed guard placed oveI
them, England has an eye on them, and il
Prof Tesla confirms her belief that the
brlliancy of Mars is caused by the reflection
OF the suns rays on huge diamond noun
tain thereon, she will take passage to Mars
on the first trip of the Air Ship and take
possession of all the silver, gold and diamond
mines of the planet
1t is certainly clear that the United States
under the Monroe doctrine, has the lawful
right and title to Mars and all she contains
We should not go slow IN this matter; Eng
land is fast on the gold and diamond scent
and she only awaits the confirmation OF her
belief in the riches OF Mars, through Prot
Tesla, and the raising OF the right foot Of
the dogs of war, before she will be thunder
ing away in the subsection OF our sister
planet.
Comus, March /, 1901. Y.