Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-30

AYs GEORGE AnE

the 0n-Sweepfns Wave
Of Reform
Copyright, 1931 Ror.r. ry. .,,>
Once there WAS Town that was bav-
lne io'ai Abstinence Jamboree. The
nAc'temenl over Temperance was be-
coming incorporate, all on account Of
iseciained sSot who was conducting a
Series of Meetings at Central Hal, Tho
hoceuier cialmed to have been Ossified
for is We In Lat a stretcb lie mad .
sodden p Isl That read like sassio, 81
the Legis lat Ire. He had heen dow, in
the Gutttf, nd told about it every Eve
nlng. The Front Rows were filled with
| horror-strefen Old Ladies and svmna-
thetic young Girls who shudderea when
he told how'd he used to hoist Strong
Drink until The would see green Ana
condi and dblka-dot Lizards peeking
OUT IRON behind the Morris Chair.
Inc fornfr Soak took particular De-
light in telling what a Brute he had
been all dqring the Time that he was
DONG BUSINESS with the Rum Fiend.
According TO his own Story he must
have ENJOYED a Thirst that was Pip
I pm He touched up the Black Bottle
every Minutes or so. In the whole
10 Years qf continuous loot he never
| had been known to Compromise on
Shit or take a Cigar and put it in his
Pocket but the Red Eye would do for
Oscar when he started on a Bender. He
| said thar he sold Locket containing
his Mothers Picture in order to get his
Mornings Morning. Once he broke OPP
en- the Savings Bank belonging to his
| little Brother and took out GO Cents to
blow for Alcohol When his Darling
Sister demonstrated with him, he chas-
| ed her with Poker. He forged his
| Fathers Name to Check rather than
do without his Liquor. In fact he had
been an all-round Pup and he wanted
| everybody to know it.
| After each meeting the Ladies would
cluster around and offer Congratula-
tiops The ordinary Man who never
had been through the Tremens or as
saultsd shis Folks had to retire to the
Background, feeling small and unwor-
thy. Anyone whose Lushing had been
limited to few Schwaben Schutzen-
tests dhd Annual Banquets dropped
/ back INTO the Amateur Glass and had
nothlg TO say. Inc Men who attended
| the Mstings and observed the Popular
| ity 81 the recent 'Drunkard began to
realif that they had made a serious
Mlstte in sticking to Sarsaparilla.
TIL reclaimed Tank was invited
somashere to Tea every EWING, and
ther,the Women would hang upon his
| WorS and beg him to tell once more
the yeet and simple story of how he
swated his sister with the Poker.
| Tls Meetings were Grand Success.
| All flk People who did not Drink came
to tteaFront and signed the Pledge two
or three times a Week. Every Man
who was suspected of keeping Beer in
his cellar or taking Flask with him
when the went Fishing was entreated
TO get on the Water Wagon or it might
| be only matter of a few months until
| his Children would be crying for Bread
and his Wife would have to Sew for
Living and he would be Dead TO the
World, lying Face down on the Cement
Sidewalk
| In this Town there was an Attorney
known as the Major. He was regarded
with Suspicion, as he was supposed to
| be High Church, although he never at
tended Services. His Nose had an iri-
| descent glimmer and he was little
Watery in the Eyes. The Major had
been brought up South of the Ohio
River in Household which held that
the ASide-Board and the Cradle were
| equally indispensable. He had been
taught that when the copper-distilled
| Essence of Joy is IL Years old. Intern
perance may be considered Virtue. He
| held that a Scholar and Gentleman
| neySr took Water afterwards. 1t was
an Article of Faith with him that the
gentine Kentucky Article did not have
| Gloss Word in Barrel of it, but, on
| thefontrary, was valuable Medicinal
! Ag4t, having Curative Properties
whfh could not justly be claimed for
| Rot Beer, Moxie or Hot Chocolate.
81 when the Rescue Corps went after
| thefMajor, it had large Contract on
ha4i. The Ladies tried to wrestle him
to Rarth and pin Blue Ribbon on him.
but he babe them stand back and de-
cl.red for Personal Liberty. His idea
OF Personal Liberty was to drink or
levf it alone, although he had never
trA the latter.
,sse Ladies told him that he would be
8 hAeless Inebriate in less than Year
unltss he stunned the Wine-Cup. He
-epl sd that the Wine-Cup could never
landIhim, because he went against moth
| sas but Low Bah which means full
| Tiger and then about another Finger