davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
Bang. a Prolific Joke Writer.

Carl Hauser, who was the editor Of the
German edition of Puck, told a reminis-
cence of John Kendrick Bangs, editor
of Harper's Weekly. 1t treats Of time
when the distinguished Yonkers man W Is
writing jokes for Puck In the early
eighties and could turn out more of them
in "a hours than any other man in that
particular line.
Zone day." said Mr.. Hauser, 'the
young man whose duty 1t was to read all
the jokes sent to the English edition OF
Puck came to me much agitated and per-
picked.
Here said he, 4 have received 100
jokes today from that man Bangs. And
he sends me all the time 100 each day.
Why, he must be worked to death; his
mind must be nearly worn OUT"
And Mr.. Hauser answered: 1T IL easy
work for him. In fact, 1t 10 mere re-crea-
tion."-New York World
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

A banished Siberian prisoner, who was
ordered to move from one district to an
other and allowed 2 shillings for his
expenses on the journey, to be paid to
him in installments at certain specified
villages through which he passed. had
his last installment of 21ad. handed to
him at his last stopping station, and his
identity book being pretty well filled up
the clerk entered the payment in very
small characters at the foot of the cover.
On arriving at his place of destination,
says a st. Petersburg correspondent, the
prisoner handed in his book, and the en-
try Of the last payment having been over
looked voluminous correspondence be-
tween the various authorities ensued and
special messengers were employed. The
mayor Of Ilimsk at last discovered the
entry.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
SLEPT THE WRONG WAY.
The Secret of a Spectators Losses
ON the Stock Exchange.


ON the Stock Exchange.
The Stock Exchange is not without its
members, wrinkled and gray, whose su-
perstitions are as deep rooted as those of
the ancient negro mammies who wore
'tricken bags" in their armpits. One
whose office is reached from Broadway,
Wall street or Pine (by way of identif-
cation) was much annoyed by the persist
emit bad luck that followed one of his IA
vorite customers. This customer and the
market were forever at cross purposes.
They didn't nick at all, and his money
was dwindling away in the most disheart-
ening manner.
Last week the broker whispered in his
ear strange things. "Tell me frankly
and truly how you sleep?" he urged trag-
ically. "Why-er-well-er- truth is
haven't slept at all of late" was the re-
ply, wheat the other hastily put in: 81
don't mean that: want to know in what
direction you sleep. How does your body
He?" "Oh, every way, guess; on my
right side, on my left side. on my back.
on my stomach. Strengthened out at full
length. doubled up like frog-every old
way" The broker drew him into a cor
ner.
you still fail to understand me-" con-
tinued the old man. a member since the
war. "What must know is how do you
head when you go to bed? Is your head
to the north. east. south or west7" 81
never gave it a thought before, but now
that you mention it my head Is always to
the north-when I'm at home" "Um! I
just thought so! No wonder the market
has been going against you. Go straight
home and have your bed turned around
30 that your head will be toward the
south or west. Don't ask any fool ques-
tons; just do as say. 1t won't cost you
a cent, and-well, II the market doesn't go
your way I'll carry your stock so points
In either direction. The idea of a sensi-
Bile man sleeping with his head to the
north or the east and playing the stock
market or any other game! 1t beats me"
The customer, at all times hard headed,
must have reached a point in his contin-
ued Ill fortune that weakened his obsti-
macy, for he changed his direction Of
sleeping and, strangest of all, has since
recovered fraction of his losses in the
street. The aged broker is the happiest
man in town.-New York Press.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
SOME COMMON WORDS,
A Lecture on the Manner In which
They Are Misused.

Two correspondents who cherish a re-
spect for this noble tongue of ours have
written to us expressing desire that we
say something more about the misuse of
common English words. One of them
calls attention to the persistent use Of
"balance" for remainder" and the other
rightly objects to the employment Of "lu.
rid" to signify brilliant" or highly col.
ored." These are fair specimens of the
abuse of good words. The employment
of balance for remainder" is the out
come of the habit of business men in
speaking Of balancing their books. At
the completion of the process they find
either a profit or a loss, and they call it
balance" and that is precisely what il
Is not. If there were a balance, there
would be no profit, no loss, no remainder.
1t is an absolute impossibility for a bal
ance and remainder to be the same
thing, and yet most persons speak of
them as identical.
Now, will some one please tell us what
'helpmeet" is? We frequently read of
men whose wives are helpmeets, but no
one explains what a helpmeet is. The
Bible, which is written in pretty good
English, quotes the Creator as saying, 81
will make an help meet for him." which
simply means that God decided to pro-
duce help suitable for Adam. But who
made one word out of that noun followed
by the adjective? And why? What is
the matter with ''wifeT
Who authorized the use of the word
Experience" as verb, and why? "John
Is experiencing a great deal of trouble"
Is only an affected way of saying that he
Is having trouble. True, the trouble Is
- I,,4 = =
tai laziness Of the worst sort that leads
persons to turn all nouns into verbs. And
1t narrows ones vocabulary.
Who set the pernicious habit of speak
ing Of earth as "dirt" Why, some good
mother, of course. She saw that when
her son made mud pies in the happy days
Of youth he came home with a dirty face.
But Lord Palmerston cleverly said, Dirt
Is matter in the wrong place" The boys
face was dirty because earth was out of
place on it. Good white paint would also
have made his face dirty, yet the same
thing would be used to make door clean.
Who authorized the common use Of
appreciate" for "enjoy." A man may
perfectly appreciate something that he
does not enjoy at all. To appreciate a
thing is to value it at its true worth. II
1t is not worth anything and a man rec
ognizes that fact, he appreciateet just
as much as the lady appreciates the novel
which is perfectly lovely"
And, worst Of all, why use "get" for
''have" "My son has got long arms"
Nonsense! He did not get them; he has
them, but there is no arm shop where he
could go and get them.
These are but few Of scores Of mis-,
used words.-New York Times.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
"DEATH's TWIN BROTHER"
Sleep and It's Cause q Puzzle to the
Scientific Mind.

Scientific Mind.
DR.. Andrew Wilson says: have been
perusing learned and highly interesting
lecture by Sir James Sawyer, NJ. D., on q
topic which possesses a deep interest for
all psychologists and for most other folks
as WE'LL mean that of sleep and sleep
lessness. The average mortal scarcely
comprehends how little we really know
about the exact nature Of the "ape Of
DEATH" as Shakespeare terms that state
wherein we pass peacefully into the land
Of nod. 1t Is not only the cause Of sleep
which constitutes scientific puzzle, the
cure of sleeplessness is another matter
which doubles difficulty that before was
single.
There Is no doubt that sleeping brain
receives less blood than a waking one.
Durham's observations settled that point
long ago, and subsequent observers in
clined to this idea that they had explain
ed what sleep Is when they had asserted
the anRmic state of the brain as its real
cause. But it is obvious that while our
brain increases its blood supply when we
wake, as conversely It diminishes that
supply when we 60 to sleep. these facts
do not lead US to the vera causa at all.
They are conditions merely, and not caus-
es. The movements of a door are not to
be explained BY saying that 1t moves on
Its hinges. What we desire to know is
what sets the door In motion. And SO
with sleep. Beyond this question of the
brains blood supply we have to face that
of the brains constitution. 1t Is only by
dipping into the brains structure that we
are able to gain some ADEQUATE idea re-
nardinR the real conditions that regulate
the opening and shutting of the mental
door.
When brain cells are carefully studied
IN their different nhases Of activity and
repose, they are seen to undergo certain
remarkable changes in shape. The proc
esses or branches through which con-
foot 10 made hetween ono coll and anoth-
Ar are seen to he retrscted In the resting
rtate while In activity they are extended.
However the changes in question are
brought about. we NAV conclude that 1t Is
the switching off of the brain cells from
aoob otbar ord tho broek,no NJ tho cop-
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
Compliment, Exchanged.

A person bearing the same name as @
man who was charged at police court ii
Ireland deemed it necessary to insert ir
the local papers an announcement that ht
was not the John Sullivan recently fnet
for drunkenness. ''The following" saysth,
London Daily Graphic. appeared short
ly afterward in all the papers containing
the announcement:
81, John Sullivan. who was fined los
for being drunk, beg TO return thanks tc
John Sullivan of Ballykillin Lodge fol
notifying that am in no way connected
with his family"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

Benjamin Harrison, one of the signers
Of the Declaration of Independence. was
fond of the good things of this life and a
high liver. While member of the First
congress, which met in Philadelphia, on
one occasion he was Joined by friend as
he left the congressional hall Wishing
to ask his friend to join him in bumper.
he took him to certain place and called
for two glasses of brandy and water.
The man in charge replied that liquors
were not included In the supplies fur
nished to congressman.
"What is it. then, that see the New
England members come here and drink ?'
"Molasses and water, which they have
charged to stationery" was the reply.
very WE'LL" said Harrison, give me
brandy and water. and charge it as fuel"
-Chioopo Record
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
The "Habit" of Fruit Bearing.

Fruit bearing in trees Is merely habit,
for young tree, taken in hand at the
commencement, need only be pruned dur
ing the first three or four years. after
which it will continue to produce fruit
spurs Of itself, for it must be remember
ed that fruit bearing Is a habit which
may be encouraged in trees, and when
once they are well trained to do it they
will not vary, except in untoward cir
cumstances. Therefore the aim Of all
pruning, whether Of root or branch, Of
young trees or old is to induce the fruit
bearing habit.-Proftable Farm and Gar
den
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
TIE Ees: and lD'ell'sspesr
BEL AIR, Md, NIGH. +, 1901.
GOODBY.

1oodby and farewell; am drifting away
With the love Of my life from your love OF day.
The laurels are won, and the thousands adore,
And you never will notice one heart less or more.
Goodby and farewell; shall go from your sight
Al the pale stars 60 out with the dawninS OF
Light,
When the sun god comes forth all the dark to IL.
lums
And who gives O thought to the starlight at noonf
Goodby, fare thee we'll; may life's sun ever shine
With a soft golden glow over thee and Ger thine,
And when length'nin shadows speak softly Of
rest
Nay Q rose glow from heaven tint the clouds In
the west.
Rose vanB. Specie in Scranton Tribune.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

McJigger-How did you like the new
play?
Thingumbob-I thought Miss Sadie
Blugore had entirely too much to say.
McJigger-Was she in it? Why,
didn't even know she had gone on the
stage.
Thingumbob-She was in one of the
boxes with party the night l was there.
-Philadelphia Press
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
A Weird Wedding.

Not long ago Russian cemetery was
the scene of as weird q wedding as ever
has been witnessed. A young Jewess
who had been betrothed died on the eve
Of her marriage, and her friends decided
that in spite of the intervening hand Of
death her marriage must take place. The
wedding ceremony was thereupon per-
formed at the side of the grave, and aft
er the marriage the body was returned to
the coffin and lowered to its long resting
nlaoo
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

They met again an evening party.
The young woman. however, swept past
him with superb Inconsistencies of his
presence.
Miss Lickladder." he said, 81 am glad
to see you are not vivisectionist."
"Sirw
"Don't you see? You cut me dead"
Then, with his head stiffiy erect, young
Spoonamore strolled to another part Of
the room.-Chicago Tribune.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

Holden-What kind of boy is that
new one who came last week?
Winter-Oh. he's all right-only little
dull. He was talking rather loudly the
other afternoon, and l hoIlered, shut
upp' Well, sir, before | knew what he
was about, be had half the shutters up
Boston Transcript.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
Live ON the Installment Plan.

some of the curious business customs
here" says City Of Mexico correspond
ent of the Boston Herald. sis that OF
having for things on the 'abono.' or in
stallment, plan. The great shops carry
tens of thousands of accounts, which are
always being added to by fresh charges
and as continually being decreased by
the payment of the monthly 'abonos.
From your cradle to your coffin you can.
II you have any sort of credit. go through
life on the installment plan. This Is
city full of government employees, like
Washington, and they live, move and
have their being on the installment prin.
ciple. They pay their rent or board
monthly and hand in certain amount to
their tailor, shoemaker, haberdasher, Jew
eler, etc. If they are married men, their
wives call around to the dry goods shops
monthly and make payment. 1t is
custom so universal that women Of the
highest social rank have passbooks at the
big dry goods shops and send their In
staIIments in every 80 days."
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
Wanted the Fun BENEFIT.

81 was awfully glad to receive your
letter. stating that you had repented. But
why did you send it unsealedp
Because they say an open confession
Is good for the SOUL "-Philadelphi
North American.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
He Felt the Same wnv.

Mrs. Henpeque-They say when a tiger
has its prey in its power the victim feels
neither fear nor pain, only a dreamy
ecstasy.
Mr.. Henpeque-I don't doubt 1t. The
night you accepted me I felt the same
Way.-Judge.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
An Initiative Woman

Mrs. Wigg-That odious widow, the
hateful thing, has gone and got a dress
made exactly like mine.
Mrs. Wagg-That's nothing. She's try.
Ing to marry my husbands twin brother.
philadelphia Record.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

the body In condition Of sound health.
Mrs. H. A. Alsbrook, of Austin, Lonoke Co.,
Ark, writest HAfter Ave months OF great suf.
Seriug with female weakness write for the
benefit of other sufferers from the same sfiie-
out any good results, 50 my husband urged me
to try Dr.. Pierce's medicines-which did, with
wonderful results. I am completely cured
scrip Ton, four of his Golden Medical Disccv-
cry and two walls of his Pleasant Pellets.'s
DIR. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure con-
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
The Golf Girl

l. the type of the modern woman at her
healthiest and best. She walks with an
easy grace. She is picture of perfect
womanhood in the springtime Of life.
But generally the golf club is laid aside
with marriage. A physical languor op-
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

Gard playing in England is an almost
forgotten pastime. Ladies seldom play,
and gentlemen engage in it rarely but to
gamble
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
Bo.ton Common Incident.

Mr.. Goodbody-Ah, little man! Want
to see the wheels go round?
Waldo Beanes-Thank you, sir, but
I'm perfectly familiar with the mechan-
ism of the modern chronometer.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

presses the once
} athletic girl. Ex-
ercise makes her
, back ache. She
tires easily. Usually
she accepts this con-
dition as a natural
thing, but it Is I'M
natural. Marriage
should add to wom-
ans happiness, rath-
er than su btract
from 1t. If women
understood how in
tirnately the general
neaItn Is related to
the local health of
thewoman1yo
they would appreci-
ate the fact that
there is no need to
suffer from weak
ness and backache.
The use of Doctor
Pierce's Favorite
Prescription makes
weak women strong,
sick women well.
1t regulates the per-
iods, heals inhan1-
nation and ulcera-
J tion, cures female
weakness, and puts
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

Nelson was 80 when he won the victory
Of the Nile. Wellington was only AZ
when he opened the Peninsular war.
Cromwell was 46 when he won at Nase-
by.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

There are eight inches more rainfall al
nually on the south shore of Lake Sups
rior than on the north shore and three
inches more in the cases Of Erie and On.
tario.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
Save Your Money!,

One box of Tut Pills will save
many dollars in doctors bills
Theywillsurely cure all diseases
ofthe stomach, liver or bowels.
No Reckless Assertion
For sick headache, dyspepsia,
malaria, constipation and bilio-
usness, million people endorse
TUFTS Liver PILLS
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
THE
Baltimore Weekly Sun.

THE BEST FAMILY NEWSPAPER.
All the news of the world in attractive
form; an Agricultural Department second
to none in the country; Market Reports
which are recognized authority; Short
Stories, complete in each number; an
interesting woman's column, and va
ried and attractive department of House
hold Intersest.
One Dollar year. inducements to
getters-up of clubs sor THE WEEKLY SUN.
Both the Daily and Weekly Sun mailed
free of postage in the United States Can
ada and Mexico. Payments invariably
| in advance. Address
A S. ABEL COMPANY,
Publishers and Projectors,
BALTIMORE, MD.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
They All Came Bacl

"Half a dozen of US fellows" said the
struggling young author, "held compe'
tition in short story writing. My story
won the prize"
Conceded to be the best, ehY'
"Wen, we sent them all to the same
magazine, and the editor kept mine Ion
ger than any Of the others. "-Philadel
phia Press.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01


off
mo point
Trainsm marked nrunda
1908
Sundays 500,
A 18, NJ.
M
Pennsu north,4O p M weekda
M. and P.
J. R. WOOD, General Passenger Agent
J. B. HUTCHINSON General Manager
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
SUNDAY TRAINS.

Five minutes telephoning over a
Long Distance Telephone will often save
a days travelling.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01
1887 THE SUN 1901
BALTIMORE, MD.
THE PAPER OF THE PEOPLE,
FOR THE PEOPLE AND
WITH THE PEOPLE.
HONEST IN MOTIVE,
FEARLESS IN EXPRESSION,
SOUND IN PRINCIPLES.
1901

A newspaper is an educator; there are
all kinds of educators, but the man who
spends money judiciously and literally is
better able to impart his knowledge than
the man who has little or nothing to
spend.
THE SUN is the highest type of news
paper.
THE Suns SPECIAL CORRESPONDENTS
throughout the United States, as well as
in Europe, South Africa, China, and, in
in fact, all over the world, make it an
up-to-date newspaper.
THE MARKET REPORTS and CONNER
cial features put the farmer, the mer-
chant and the broker in close touch with
the markets at Baltimore, Norfolk,
Charleston, New York, Chicago, Phila-
delphia and other places whl,h are prom
inent centers.
From now on the news of the world
promises to be more interesting than
ever before and national and political
questions will arise, making probably
the most eventful period in the country's
history.
This, together with the corps of editors
and reporters at Baltimore, Washington
and New York, make THE SUN invalua-
bic to its readers.
BY mail, Fifty Cents a month; six
months, So; one year, Sc.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-03-01

Agile and Graceful In His Move
ments, Intelligent and Rather Dain-
ty, Too, and Not at All Vicious In
His Disposition.
The Brunswick times-call. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1900-1902, 1901-10-31
BRUNSWICK. GA. THURSDAY MORNING. OCTOBER 81. 1901
PRES BYTERIAN SYNOD
Will Meet in Valdosta Next Week to Trans
act Important Business.

VALDosTA, GA, October 30.-The
Presbyterian synod of Georgia will
hold lis annual meeting in this oity
commencing Wednesday. November 6
A full quota of ministers and d legates
are expected. The business to come
before the nesting will make il one Of
unusual interest. Ths opening session
will be held with the Presbyterian
church at 30 Wednesday evening
ana daily thereafter until Sunday.
Rev. q. O. Carson. pastor, and the
members of the church have besu ao-
lively at work preparing to entertain
the vi'itors during the msxinS ana
have met with generous responses
from the oitizsns of Valdosta, irre-
speOtive Of denomination.
a matter of interest to come before
the synod will be the advis sbinty OF
svsblishing a COLI &c within the
b0u 81 0f the synod. This oitY offered
the prssby'erY Of Savsunsh valuable
site and liberal amount OF money to
secure the l0cGtioD here of a high
grade Presbyterian college. The offer
holds good yet and the Savannah pres
bytery, at its recent meeting at Fltz-
gerald, decided to turn the offer over
to the synod and urge favorable dis
position Of the matter at the approach
ing meeting. Rev. G. G. Carson,
Major J. o. VArnadoe and Rev. j Y.
Fair were named as a committee to
present the matter to the synod. Prom
insnt Presbyterisns believe that the
synods of Georgia, Florida and Ala
bsma may be induced to put 100000
into college here.
The Brunswick times-call. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1900-1902, 1901-10-31
A Bloody Riot Between the
Whites and Blacks
10 DEAD and OTHERS DYING
Trouble Started Over an ATTEMPT
to Collect License at a
Big Campmeeting.

New Orleans, Ont. SO-A special 20
the Picayune from Bslltown, La, says
that the rsce waf between the blacks
snd whites, which started at nsaro
oamp-meeiing at Duncan Chapel Sun
day, forms story of blood unequslled
In tina history OF the Perry river valley
One white man is dead. another ia
dying with bullet hole through hts
s IN ca, aud third white man i, bad
ly injured.
Nine negroes were killed in the
bloody affray, five men, three women
aud cua small ohlld. a dozsn or per.
hsps more negroes escaped to the
WOOD snd sWsmps with wounds that
sEe believed to be certain death in the
brush away from medical care.
No one lie able to estimate the num-
oef OF wou0aed negroes who eecsped
the oArDsge behind tha church. They
scattered 10 all directions. Some are
Known to have been shot, but they ha We
n1t b $40 fOuod.
IN" coi q @: ragged for half an hour.
hose ats d's''nce say the firing SOund