The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1901-09-11


] humbly asked her for her hand,
In accents bold YET calm,
And nearly died when she replied:
you carry off the palm
Philadelphia Record.
"You look nice enough TO eat" he
said admiringly. "Ah! now that you
mention It," she replied, II wouldn't
mind eating little ice cream."-Phll-
adelphia Record.
Say" snarled the conductor "this
quarter has a plug in it, Well
snapped the fiery passenger, "did YOU
expect TO find an automobile in it?"-
Philadelphia Record
IL wonder how they ever became
engaged" "Their accounts differ.
She says he threw himself at her feet,
and he says she threw herself at his
head. Brooklyn Life.
Little Elmer-"Papa. what Is the
hand of Providence" Professor
Broadhead-"Theh hand of Providence.
my son. is what we usually see in the
misfortunes of others. Puck.
you don't mean to say she has ac-
cepted him? He isn't at all her idealw
"Well It didn't take her long to choose
between a fiance in the hand and an
ideal in the bush."-Pucl.
Ny happiness would be complete
With what ! have il |
Could know that no one else below
The sky had more than |. and no
One else stood quite as high.
Chicago Record-lierald.
Mrs. Horse-"A lot of us girls have
started an Audubon club" Mr.. Horse
WHATS that?" Mrs. Horse-"Why,
we are not going to wear birds or
wings on our hats" - Detroit Free
Press.
NO" said Mr.. Holtite. II don't OBJ
ject to the time man takes for rea-
sonabe vacation" "To what is 1t that
you object, then?" "The long rest he
invariably needs after he gets back"
Boston Traveller.
Summer Belle-"There go two of the
most dsagreeable men I've met this
season." Friend-"Are they? Why?"
Summer Belle-"One Of them stares
me out of countenance, and the other
won't look ut me at all."-New York
Weekly.
Floorwalller-"Good morning. You
wish to do some shopping, l pre-
sumeY Bride with hubby)-"Y-
Floorwalker-"Ste into the smoking
room and the boy there will give you
check for your husband."-NewY York
Weekly.
'Boys will be boys" quoted the apol-
ogist for the youngsters. Boys will
be nuisances, you mean," retorted the
man whose garden had been wrecked.
Same thing" was the reply. "Word.
ing slightly changed, but the under.
lying idea is the same."-Chicago Post.
Mr.. Bridal (at luncheon)-"Is this
the best salmon you could get?' Mrs.
Bridal-"Yes, the grocer showed me
several kinds, but 1 took this cam
AIr. Brldal-"Did he say this was the
best he had?' Mrs. Bridal-"No, but
it had the prettiest label."-Philadel.
phia Press.
Josh-"Abner's the greatest reader
here at the Corners. An that hain't
all; he acts on what ne reads" Lige-
"Yew bet he does Now, last week,
ter my certain knowledge, he an
swered two advertisements of matrl.
monial bureaus, sent for three pack.
ages of love powder an book on
hypnotism, an he also sent dollar
ter feller in New York for seventeen
ways ter git rich in three monthsv'-
Puck.
"Your services are no longer re-
quired" said the great metropolitan
editor to the reporter who had written
up sensational elopement. "Why"
was the startled question. Because
you wrote up the elopement of the
waitress and the janitor without call
ing one society favorite and the
other man of leisure and n WELL
known club man. Such carelessness
for opportunities must be punished
Boston Transcript.