Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1901-11-15
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.
THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANG-
ING THE FURNITURE.

"Do you change the position of the
furniture when you clean roomF'
inquired housewife No. l of friend in
the course of heart to heart talk.
"Do l? Why, yes, indeed! 1 don't
feel as if the room is cleaned unless l
change the furniture a little bit. Do
you"
"Well. l usually change the orna-
ments around and so forth, but in the
spring and fall like to change every
thing in room-completely alter the
whole appearance of it. Then l fancy
the things are all new, and they seem
to look pretter somehow. But, do you
know, my husband doesn't like it at
allv'
Neither does mine! Isn't that singu-
lar? Men are so peculiar!'
Eyes, indeed they are"
SO many housekeepers share the
views of these two that a story with
q moral will not be out of place.
1t was the other night only that Mr..
Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to
bed at an unusually early hour, leaving
his wife reading in the sitting room.
He had a headache and carried a COB
let of water in his right hand. Fear
lessly advancing into the dark bed
room Mr.. Blank suddenly felt both legs
violently cut from under him. He
clutched wildly at the air and said
several things of an explanatory ma
ture, but there was nothing to save
him. He went down.
Good gracious, Henry" calculated
Mrs. Blank. hurrying to the scene of
disaster. "What is the matter?
Where are you? Why don't you light
the gasT' Suiting the action to the
word, she beheld her husband sprawl
ing across the bed; the glass he had
carried had discharged its contents
across the pillowshams and shivered on
the floor.
Mr.. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that OF all
the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said it was a pretty thing for man to
walk into his own room and have to
fall over things in the dark. He said
he wouldn't stand it; the furniture
must be replaced where it formerly
stood
II shan't do anything of the kind"
replied Mrs. Blank. 1T looks very
much nicer where it is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when you
get into dark roOm?"
"S'pose you'd like me to crawl in on
all fours." snared Mr.. Blank. Il
couldn't feel where the bed was unless
l happened to touch the footboard. |
thought | could walk clear over to the
bureau. l tell you it's n COMPOUNDED
crank you have on this subject. Some
day you'll preciptate serious acct
dent"
IF any one precipitates, it'll be you,
l should think" retorted Mrs. Blank
Jelly. And the furniture remained
where it was.
1t was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry n pile Of
schOolbOoks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had a bottle OF
ink in his hand, and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of Ais peregrina-
into violent collision with the glass
door of the bookcase, which he broke.
There were also nky traces diScorniblc
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
in. This time there was some balm for
her feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did it with the best will in
the world.
Her own downfall was not long In
coming, however, although for n few
days only minor Inconvenience were
met with, such as the abrasion of an
kles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles. Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage of her pet parrot from the
window where it spends the day to the
snug corner where it passes the night
She did not trouble to light the gas. and
} by some unaccountable mental lapse
she had forgotten the precise point al
.. which tabouret on which stood a jar
diniere, was stationed. She charged
into the tabouret with considerable
, force. was overbalanced by the weight
of the cage in her arms and took q
header with reSounding crash. The
: parrot shrieked, and, unable to distin
guish friend from foe, inflicted n severe
bite on her mistress finger. Mr.. Blank
came in hurriedly, picked up his wife
and assisted in making an inventory Of
sundry Commissions. Then they lifted
the parrot cage, badly bent, and the
4 jardiniere with piece Clipped out Of
o 1t and the tabouret somewhat scratch
l. ed, and then Mr.. Blank observed quiet
!. ly:
81 have just one thing to ask you
Mrs. Blank. Was rightr'
l. "No, you were not!' retorted Mrs
= Blank savagely. Serious accident
s What's serious about this, | should Xix,
e to know? For goodness sake, Henry
. don't stand there trying to look like {
Z. martyrl If you must have the furnl