The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-08

| shoes-jammed his foot into one
scowled and exclaimed disgustedly:
! what the deuce! there's something
| IN this shoe. BAH" he went on, land
In this one, too" Take 'em off and
shake 'em!" suggested the dropper of
the gum. mo time" growled the VIC
tim, I'll be locked if I'm a second
late! But these COMPOUNDED things
reel damp in the heels!" and he kicked
and stamped viciously. Damp in the
heels?" murmured the guilty one, in
terrogatively. In the heels, said you?
| what very odd place for dampness to
accumulate. Now, personally I find
my heels are dry and smooth and hard
lke-like china nest egg, don't you
know? But damp heels-it doesn't
souno rlgnt, and 1t must feel very I'M
comfortable. / don't wonder YOU
KICK! And another broke in with: IT
say, old fellow, that was my India ink
you busted then! But never mind.
suppose your heels trouble youi" Then
asked earnestly, as the victim hastily
patted gray beard into place: Us
tnat good gum you have there-wfll IL
mold that beard securely?" "Wil it
hoid! It's the strongest gum ever made
1t can hold a horse 1 have hard
work to get it to dissolve nights with
pure alcohol" This, while the guilty
one was writhing with that malicious
JOY known in its fullness to the prac-
ticai joker alone. The victim rushed
from the room and reached the stage
at the very moment his cue was spok-
en- and made his entrance so short of
breath, he could scarcely speak The
act was very long-the gum in his
SHOES dried nicely-the curtain fell. He
went below to his room to dress for
the street. He tried to remove and
lay aside his patent feathers. Alasl
alas! he laid aside instead his manners.
his temper, his self restraint, his self
respect! The gum proved itself worthy
OF his praise-it stuck-it held! The
SHOES were willing to come of on one
condition only-that they brought 5orh
SOCK and skin with them. Three men.
with tears in their eyes, had pencils
and kept tally of his rema ks as he
danced about after each frantic tug at
giued on shoe. One took down every
wounding, malicious word. A second
caught and preserved every defamatory
word. While the third-the busiest one
secured every profane word that fell
from his enraged lips. Finally, he
poured the contents of the alcohol bot
tie into his shoes and swearing like
mailman waited for the gum to soft
en-. And the manager, who was not
deaf, proved that his heart was harder
imam the best gum and could not be
softened at all. To this day no mem
Der of the company knows how much
or the victims salary was left to him
that week after forfeits for bad words
were all paid up. But some good came
from the affair, for the actor was new
er again so late in arriving, as not to
have time to look into his shoes for
any strange substance possibly lurking
there.
Personally, 1 detest the practical
joke, but l have, alas! never been
above enjoying my share of the green
room fun. Some members of Mr.. DAYS.
company were very stately and digni-
fed, and he would have been glad had
we all been like them; but there We're
others who would have had fun with
the tombs of the Egyptian kings, and
who could wiring smiles from a craven
image. Mr.. Daily levied fines at last so
recklessly, that either the brakes had
to be put upon our fun or some one
would have to do picket duty. The
restless element had a wait" of an
entire long act in one play, and among
those who waited was a tiny, little Bit
of an old, old man. He wore rags
in his part" and on the seat of his
trousers was an enormous red patch.
He had been asked to stand guard in
the green room door, and nothing loaih
he only argued deprecatingly: You'll
all get caught, I'm afraid You see,
Mr.. Days so sharp-if l cough, he'll
hear me, too-and will understand! If |
l signal-he'll see me, and we'll all get |
fined"
For a moment we were silently cast |
down. Then rose to the occasion beau |
tifully. 1 took the wee little man and |
placed him in the green room doorway, |
leaning with his back against the door |
jamb. When he saw Mr.. DAILY in the |
distance he simply was to turn his |
bright red patch toward us-wo would |
do the rest 1t was a glorious success |
We kept an eye on the picket and when |
the red patch danger signal was shown |
silence fell upo nthe room. Torfeits |
ceased for a long time. Of course, we |
paid our Waterman for his services |
Paid him in pies He had a depraved |
passion for bakers pies, which he |
would not cut into portions. because |
he said it spoiled their f1avor-he pre-
ferred working his way through them |
and that small, gray face seen near
the center of a mince pie, whose rim |
was closing gently about his ears, was
a sight to make a Supreme justice
smile But our evil course was almost |
run. Our little pie-eater, who was just |
a touch odd, or what people call
queer" on Thanksgiving Day permit
ted himself to be treated by so many |
drivers of pit wagons, that at night he
was fearful and confused and though |
he watched faithfully for the coming
of Mr.. Daly-while we laughingly list
ened to positively criminal parody on
THE Bells'-watched for and saw him
in ample time, he. alas! confusedly,
turned his red patch the wrong way,
and we all came to grief and forfeiture |
in consequence. Yes, obliging people |
very generous, and ever ready to give a
helping hand. Behind the scenes then,
our social condition, may say, is one
of good hammered informality, of jol-
lily tempered by respect and genuine |
good fellow ship.