Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-12-09


lis only lot was in a cemetery!
Philadelphia Record.
"What is It?''
Willie-"What is the blue room in
e White House, pa?'
Pa - That's where the President
YES officeseekers the rundown.
altimore World.
UnfailinG Signs.
Angeline (aged eight II t'ink
aude means ter propose ter-night."
A gnes (aged seven)-"And why:"
- He's drefful pale aud
lells Nv hair-oilp-Puck.
His Mild Inquiry.
''There is no doubt that this scheme
i'll pay" said the promoter.
YES" answered the purchaser of
ock, II suppose so. But who is to
It the money?"-Washington Star.
Made 1t Worse.
"The old idea," said the lecturer,
vas an eye for an eye, a tooth for a
9TH"
"Yes," coincided one of his hearers,
md there were no painless dentists
those days, either"
Gossip.
First Hen-"Mrs. Cluckatuck is n
,ry young looking hen to be Gladys
mother"
Second Hen-"Oh! She's only her
epmother. Gladys mother was
ltent incubatorr-Puck
A Safe Guess.
II was just reading here that they
I've discovered the grave Of Hippo
ates."
"Who was he?"
Must be some fellow who's dead,
guess" s."-Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Isolated Danger.
Mrs. Fly-"It looks mighty cool and
in that screened-up par
r."
Mr.. Fly-"Don't you believe it; a fly
know got in there once-and he was
lonesome that he lost his mind"
Rightness.
"Be sure you're right" exclaimed
e Confident Philosopher, "and tn.
, ahead"
BE sure you're right protested the
arried Man, land then get down on
1uc knees and ask to be forgiven.'-
uck.
Tried to Realize 1t.
Mrs. Poserleigh (who fatters herself
lie looks young)-''This is my daugh-
r, Mrs Snyder. 1 suppose you'd
lrdly think it,
Mrs. Snyder-"Hm! Your youngest
l :'-Boston Tran
,ript.
Hustling Household.
Careful Housekeeper-"Br Bridget, you
ay get all the preserves we canned
st year, and boil them up again. L
n afraid they have begun to work.
Like enough, mum, like
Tough. Everything round this house
Is to."-Harlem Life.
Concerning Savants.
Polly-"Wisdom is generally depict
l as Il man with long flowing
card"
Dolly-"Yes. but my idea of wisdom
a man who has sense enough to
ear trimmed whiskers-or, none at
Il. l."-Detroit Free Press.
EXclusiveness.
Mrs. Purseproud-"I see where sew
al millionGires chartered n whole
eamboat in order to come across the
,ean."
Mr.. Purseproud-"Well, when we go
yer we will lease the ocean Cor a
eek. k."-Baltimore American.
Heading on Mrs. ID.
"The doctor says that l must go
way for a change of climate" said
rs. Dukane.
"If that's all you need" replied Mr..
"stay right here, and the
lange Of climate will come to you."-
ittsburg ChronicleTelegraph
Bloodshed Avoided.
Jones-"What would yo do If your
went off in the nlght?"
Brown - "Well, in the dark you
now, it would take me a good while
, find my shoes and my pistol, and
nat would give the burglar time to
ct away."-Detroit Free Press.
The Lightning Gossip Route.
"Well, that's quic!; work.
"What's that"
"a man from San Francisco told his
)usin in New York a secret he hadn't
I'D his wife, and before he got home
ten days his wife had letter from
Is cousins wife, telling her all about
!"
A Foreboding
I'VE ought to be careful about how
e handle the Chinese"
What danger do you foresee"
"Well, they may become so discon-
'nted with their own country that