davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
FOOTBALL AND EDUCATION.

Tho Wild Young man 0: Ioraco las ''''"c back 10
college;
He ISM keen on culture; he isn; stack kuow!-
edge.
Eook ..oo=:es'' and ''i>n.s' arc huI;. he i"ows.
to cramp -.
So elects the football course and ,@koS it "n IN"
campus.
lie isn't long on intellect; nc'S r:t:cr s!ro't IN
classes.
Bu: hes perfect wonder ca tachic> kicks ana
passes.
For Crcc:ln roots in nusiy TOMS he !ot>n 20
@-huntiu-.
But you'd forgive his Ignorance il yo" ever saw
ii. puntiIs.
He doc>n't Ike professors. mere hookwomS and
cockroachls;
He has special trainer and gets his lore from
coaches;
He takcs that coachs word for law and even hccd5
coujccturcs.
And when the coach wells. Hold the bail: It's
Just as good Is lectures.
His cap and gown are the wall, his books be-
meath tho table;
To serve football and learning the wild man isn't
able.
Shin pads. guards, spiked shoes and such
like gearing,
These arc his academicas, in aspect far from
cheering.
With him the pallid cast OF thought IS not the
proper fashion;
Black eyes and broken noses and hair Ia Cir
cassian.
A Fiji 4 chrysanhcmun. bogy man, savage.
And the earth looks on and trenlbles when he be-
gins ravagc.
For midnight oil he has. We fear, most iSnomi'''
uses
A balm for kicks and cuffs and knocks. liniment
for bruises.
He knows thing or two about reducing luSa-
tion
But that's about the limit OF his higher cduca-
tion.
His college course is innocent Of matters too
scholastic:
He gets some wholesome exercise. not mental. but
cymnastic.
He isn't much on reading. and he's not too Spry
at thinking.
But he learns to take lot Of bumps without as
much as blinking.
Detroit Journal.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
policcmans shpeaks oop silently ind

policemans shpeaks oop silently Tcd
says:
IF dot cobbler don't take Il vacation.
he vhas dead mans. He wc:i;= too
hard. und dot shmell " leather Was
always in his nose.
1t takes me ore week to got dot black
und blue AWAY. but | don't 81! ooN.
l rub myself NIT arn;c;: und 60 10
work. Und | haf six jClS on hand vncA
dot officer comes in again. | do:I I io2H
1T him. und he ycllS oudt:
surrender to nc or you vh2S dead
mans in two seconds.
How you means: | says.
II mcau dot YOU vhaS some counter
feitcrs und dot lay Tor you und catch
you. All. old villain. don't you pellet
l vilaS Sprin" chickens. G!f RE oof'
dose dies und molds.'
But don't iidf any
Don't call me a liar. DO YOU sup
pose don't know all about her: If
you don't get seven years by Sing Sing,
l shall eat my hat. Haf you got a
quarter handy
Not today"
"Vhill you send out for some peer?
81 vhas too busy"
"Yes. | see. You vhas SO busy dot
you don't know who | vhas. Maybe
you take me for Uncle Josh from der
country. 1t vhas my pleasure TO intro
duce myself"
UnG it vhas shust like pcfore, und |
pellet vhas q dead mans iE my shop.
l can't hollcr. but my wife goes py der
door und screams. und When ten pee
pies rush in dot policemans wipes 4
tear from his eye und says:
You see how it yhas. He don't stop
to eat or sleep. und der heart disease
comes along und knocks him off his
bench. Poor fcllcr. BE VERY careful
init him. If he vhas to die. der world
would sadly miss him." II. QUAD.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
A Conxidernte Fnthcr-ip-Iaw.

Yes" said Mr.. Cunr0N. Il have Civ
en- my daughters every advantage.
Il suppose they are very highly cui-
tured.'
Il should say So.
and they will be he literally dow
ered:''
Yes. sir. When I think Of the WAY
d man WHO marries one of those girls
will be criticised in his grammar aDc
department. it strikes me that he ought
to be dealt with in Il most generous
spirit. Washington star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Talk About a New Treaty.

Washington-Lord Paucefors, the
British Ambassador has had a talk
With Secretary Hay in regard to the
preparation of the new Hay -Paunce'
fort treaty. It is expected that in
view of the progress that has been
made, the convention may be conclud-
ed, so far as the executive branch of
the government is concerned, the lat
Ter part of this week.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
The Lexington Dispatch.
Wednesday, November l3. 1901.
Il Hung chang's Death.

Washington, November The
State department officials do not be-
lieve the death of Ii Hung Chang
will have a serious effect on the
Chinese situation. The work of pre-
pairing trade and commercial treaties
is all that remains to be done in set
ling undertaking imposed in China
because of the recent Boxer uprising.
The plans are so we'll understood
that details can be arranged without
trouble.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
The Ruling Passion.

1.-TWO or de broth'rin got mad wild
one n'er en- lowed dey'd fight 4 duel
GcZ lax white folks. Now. you know.
white folks allus fights dat way wild
pistols
"Dey Sho' does.
well. sub. trompcd FIVE mile ter
see de fun. but what you reckin dey
WIZ fightin' wild wen / got dar:'
"Lawd Knows
..Nuttin' but homemade raZOrs.-
Atlanta Constitution.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Il the Baby is Cutting Teeth.

Be sure and use that old and well
Tried remedy, Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
ing Syrup for children teething. It
soothes the child, softens the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind collie and
is the best remedy for diarrhea.
twenty-five cents bottle.
It is the best of all.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Sounded Familiar.

You wretch. You miScreant. You
worst Of villains" exclaimed the hero
Inc ut rehearsal.
The heavy villain, who had just JONI
ed the company, looked patiently az
grieved and said:
Excuse me. is that in the part or are
YOU acting rs stage manaSer:'-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Job Couldn't Have Stood It

u IF he'd had Itching Piles. They re
terribly annoying; but Buckleu's Ar
MICA Salye will cure the worst case Of
piles on earth. It has cured thous
ands. For Ipjunles, Pains or Bodily
E.uptions it's the best salve in the
world. Price 25c "a box Cure guaran-
teed. Sold BY j. E Ksufmann.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
An Adrersc Rcport.

Proudman-That daughter of mine is
right up to date, | tell YOU: you must
have noticed that she always has the
utmost respect for the style Of the day.
Shocker-Oh. l don't Know. When
saw her last night. she WAS sitting OH
the stle with young uaga.iorn.-Rich-
mond Dispatch.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Truly UnruraI.

"How did you like that play OF rural
lifr:"
IT'S Il fraud" answered Mr.. COrT1toS-
sci. "'Tain't true to nature. | under
stand all them farm folks Oh the stage
stays up till II or - O'Clock every
night o their lives s.'-WaShington Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13


The pension roll still carries four
widows of soldiers who fought in the
American Revolution.
N. T. Mcintyre, ST. Paut, MINI,
who has been troubled with dis
ordered stomach, says, Chamber
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets do
me more good than anything I have
ever taken" For sale by j. E kauf
mann.
Senator Hsnna's secretary says
that since 1895 500 children have
been named after the Senator.
Florida is having the largest to-
bacco crop ever raised iu the State.
The average is 1000 pounds to the
acre.
Balsams from the Northern Wood
are in -Balsam the certain cure for coughs.
A marriage license was taken out
at Portland, Maine, last week. by
Joseph Tllton, age sc. to wed Caro-.
line GriswaId, age 50.
Ii the Western Cemetery, Dundee
Scotland, last month there was un-
yelled monument to the memory of
James Bowman Lindsay, selfmade
philosopher and scientist, who lived
before his time Iu 1884 he wrote
the following prophetic sentence:
&:Houses aud towns will in q short
time be lighted by electricity instead
of gas, and heated by it instead of
coal. and machinery will be worked
by it instead of steam
Last winter an infant child of
mine had Group in violent form,
says Elder John w. Rogers, a Chris
tian Evangelist, of Fllly. Mo. II
gave her few doses of Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy and in a short
time all danger was past and the
child recovered" This remedy not
only cures Group, but when given as
soon as the first symptoms appear.
will prevent the attack. It contains
no opium or other harmful substance
and may be given as confidently to a
baby as to an adult. For sale by ]
E. Kaufman.
The Rev. Eugene Harrelsor, pastor
of the Methodist Episcopal Church,
South, at Madisonville, Ky, was
aroused the other night by repeated
Efforts to enter his house. Hearing
some one at the kitchen door, be
opened it and fred into the darkness.
Some one ran and the minister re-
turned to bed. Next morning he
found jim Lewis, colored, lying near
the door shot through the heart.
He was 10 his stocking feet and had
evidently planned burglary.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

1t is not exactly true that the editor
Of this paper. who OWLS 1000 acres Oh
desert land. is going into strawberries
next year. He has figured it out that
it would take eight barrels OF water TO
2 berry and that he would have 10 dig
a canal fifty-four miles long to get IL.
Our best hold is politics.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
A Pinch of PcDDcr.

Old CloSby-H-m. Now that | hayc
finished eating think | shall go out
and get weighed.
Waitar--I wouldn't advise it. sir.
Old Closby-You wouldn't: Why n";:
Waiter Because, sir. You might have
to tip the scales. Chicago News.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

and cheerfulnesS soon
disappear when the kid
neys are out Of order
or diseased.
Kidney trouble has
become so prevalent
that it is not uncommon
for a child to be born
afflicted with weak kid
neys. If the child urin-
o.a- +n> 1Stz. ;S H.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
.Jtntnrie'S Query.

"All of yOu who never told lie raise
your hands" asked the tr:lchcr OF her
small pupils.
Please. ma'am." piprd little Jimmie.
lis ii Il lie if nobody finds it out:'-
Ohio State Journal.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

urine scalds the flesh or if. when the child
reaches an age when it should be able to
control the passage, it is yet afflicted with
bed-wetting. depend upon it. the cause of
the difficulty is kidney trouble, and the first
step should be towards the treatment Of
these important organs. This unpleasant
trouble is due to diseased condition of the
kidneys and bladder and not to a habit as
most people suppose.
Women as we'll as men are made mis-
cradle with kidney and bladder trouble.
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect OF
Swamp-ROOt is soon realized. 1t is sold
BY BY. druggists: ugg s.. in !aty- tjfy
sizes. You may have 60
sample bottle By mail sssessssszsS G3s
free. also pamphlet tell Home of swarupEoot.
ing all about it. including many Of the
thousands of testimonial letters received
from sufferers cured. In writing Dr.. Kilnler
& Co.. Binghamton. N. T., be sure and
mention this paper.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

We don't say that the critter who put
a bullet through our hat the other nigh
as we were riding home from Blue
Valley intended assassination. but we
think such jokes out of place and can t
appreciate them. Our feet were cold
for two hours after we got home.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

The Maior-Smiggs has remark
able mcLIOry for faces. He met ne
once five years ago. and this lnornn"
be recognized me instantly.-ChicaGo
News.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
just So.

Il never heard such noisy hoy.
You are u regular rumpuS."
And | suppose, paw. if yDu rIiSc me
you'll he raising 4 runpuS. ."-'' 'hicaso
News
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
70 Cure a Cold in One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine
Tablets. All druggists refund the
money if it fails to cure. E. W.
Groves signature is on each box 25e.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

Mainr George Scott and eI-.luI@r
TrurS,lalr iirrd six shots st each Other
in front nf rhc pD>ioliirc yesterday.
and each escaped uIlrrt. That such
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

DR.. Johnson is the last physician 10
hang out his sign among i>. ana he Is
said to be rapidly building up a prac-
ticr. Ir it turns out that hr kaOwS
case OF the whoopng cough from
compound fracture Of the leg. we shall
be yl:d OF his coming. Most or the
other doctors il town picked up their
knowledge in blacksmith shop.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
ARIZONA KlCkLETS.
A Number of Lively Items From .
Lively Paper.
1Corvright. 1901. By c. b. Lewis

[Coryright, 1901, by c. b. I.cwis.l
I: will soon be time again for us to
buckle on our guns and interview the
half dozen Shyster lawyers who have
brought libel suits against The Kicker
during the past six months. We al
ways enjoy such occasions.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
ICoayrigl.;. loai. hy {. Z. Lewis,

ICcayr;gl.;. 1901 10y {. Z. Lcw;S.l
When opens my shop for pccsnesS'
dot little tailer. comes aroundt nho
says:
Hans. YOU must start Oft right. Der
first thing yhas to get pull mt dot
policcnans. If you don't. you rhas III
troubles"
How vhas pulls says.
"Vhell. you must treat him to peer.
haf cigar for him u:ld praise him oop.
Sometimes It Was well TO slip him half
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

1t may have been observed that The
Kicker never SAYS 1t is allcgc,l' so
and so. We always call Il man muir
tcrcr or a horse thief if we think he Is
one, and if he can convince us 10 the
contrary we make him IN apology.
This keeps things pretty lively. but 1t
gives general satisfaction.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

L>akc Giveadam Gulch the lauShn:,
stock of the territory. We have per
sonally given each the cold cut.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
HANS, THE COBBLER.
HE TELLS OF HIS TROUBLES WITH
III. POLICEMAN.

Doc.u., Believe In Having n Pull
with officers OF tho Law and Con-
re4ucntIy Has Il Hard Time of It,
Making His Life Burden.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Women as Well as Men
Are Made Miserable by
Kidney Trouble.

Kidney trouble preys upon the mind, dis
couraees and lessons ambition; beauty, Vigor
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13
Mana WaN.

It's funny; n man arrives 3t the de-
pot and. with lot Of people looking
on. kisses his third cousin or his wife'S
brothers sister or other distant kin he
has never seen bcforc-w0meH be does
not want TO kiss and who do not care
10 kiss him. But il lie Knows Il wom
an he likes to Kiss he Is compelled 10
do it when no one is looking.-AtchisOn
Globe.
Mr.. Judd GranGcr'x GusnSxry.
I dunno why but my wife she gets uisst now and
then
With foolish notions as to g:hs possessed by o'lsr
'cm all;
She praised him cause lis brow hFU2d End
cause his feet small.
And then She took the preacher up. snd. FIR ~
could see,
Wa'n't neither Of the tHo that lacked Single lit
like
Next time Size got kerfumIniHcd was ~hrn ,ilst
little Brown.
Tie soft voiced music teacher, co"ie criNin down
from town
On Wednesdays and on Fridays /" teach the girls
to play.
70 hammer ,hc plan" and >,rcr, !;se sin al day;
She laid he was just splendid a:d sweet lie
cou! ir.
Bnt there wl'n't look ahou, jm 'lat reminded
folks 81 me.
II" fifty y-on,; she's thirty and h'4ne soui io"ki"'.
l s',.o.r ,l,. foolish ,i%S lie G.,> ,nc,t al! tnr
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-11-13

The report in the Chicago papers
that the mayor of this town (who is
ourScln had shot Alderman Skinner
dead during session Of the common
co.ucil is the verieSt nonsense. The
alderman coatended that Il motion to
adjourn was always in order. and We
had to throw him over his desk to sat
isfy him that there were exceptional
instances.
We understand that Mr.. John Shine
has returned to Givcadam Gulch after
O. three months residence III New Mex
leo. 1t is said hat he didn't exactly
admire the way in which vigilance
committee danced him around ut the
end of rope Johu was always rather
particular on the subject Of .!is neck.
NJ. QUAD.
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1901-10-24
Fremskridtskvinde.

The new woman in Denmark calls
herself fremskridtskvinde, or woman
of progress, and if we are to believe a
writer IN the Boston Transcript, who
seems to know about hel, she main
tains her claim to the title only by
sacrificing her best womanly instincts
She is, in other words. rather too adj
vanced to be of any real benefit to So
clety. We are informed that she ap-
parently despises the homely arts of
her grandmother and by way of DEM
onstrating her originality fills her
house with tobacco smoke and politics.
She is prone, says the writer, to re-
gard the rearing Of family as a rath-
er irksome and ungrateful task i'm
posed upon her sex, and she is becom-
ing even more jealous of the seeming
freedom and independence of man in
professional pursuits.-Chicago Inter
Ocean
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1901-10-24
AFRICAN TREK OK.
Its Use as Transport and How Its WORT
Is Done.

Its Use rs Transport and How Its Wort
Is Done. q
At the present moment, when the
s11clency Of our army in South Africa
largely depends on the stability OF its
transport, it may not be amiss to con-
slider t--e capabilities of the trek, or
transport OK, who, after all. despite
mules and traction engines, is the
malnstay of South African transport,
says the Pail Mall Gazette. The imperi-
al authorities in the Cape Colony and
Natal are now busily engaged in buy
Ing all the available OK transport they
can, as is testified by their numerous
Advertisements in Colonial papers.
oxen are less expensive than mules.
1ney are SLOW, but sure, never doing
more than three miles an hour, or
twenty miles day, which is consia-
cred a good trek. The Zulu OK l.; the
best bred animal, but small and unser-
vlceable when compared with the bas-
tard Zulu Or Natal OK, which thrives
on both the sour welt or coast grass
and the "'sweet" or up-country veldt.
oxen, however, require very careful
handling, and must On no account be
overdriven; they must have at least
SIX hours a day for grazing purposes.
IN the winter they can find picking
on the parched veldt where a mule or
morse would fail. They are naturally in
poor condition till the green grass Of
the spring arrives in September. They
are very liable to lung sickness and
RED water. and whole spans sometimes
perish from these fell diseases. In the
winter time they suffer terribly from
the cold, and on no account should they
De worked in the rain during that sea-
son, Tor, among other things, the yoke
"nen wet gives them sore necks, thus
rendering them useless. The oxs best
work is done at night time, and moon
nght tricks are the usual thing with
transport riders" after their teams
nave been grazing all day. They are
never kept under the yoke for more
than eight hours during the day, two
stretches of four hours each. From /
o'clock to in the morning and from 6
O'Clock to 10 at night are the favorite
hours for trekking. AS to their haul
ing capacity, span" or team Of
eighteen oxen will easily draw a buck
wagon weighing little over a tom.
loaded to six thousand pounds, over
tne south African roads, many of
which are little better than tracks
across the veldt. Twenty miles day
Tor a heavy baggage column in such a
country as South Africa is really good
going.
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1901-10-24
BUYING 4 LARGE ESTATE

6everal Capitalists Are Now Engaged In
That Occupation.
The starting of new great country
estate is always matter Of interest
says Harper's Weekly. The tendency
In rich city men toward that sort Of en-
largement Is of recent growth, and It
is natural that there should be ex-
amples of it in increasing numbers
near New York. E. H. Hartman, rail-
way giant-the same enterprising man
who carried ship load of scientists to
Alaska in 1899-has bought himself
10000 acres of land in Orange and
Rockland counties, New York, to the
west and north of Tuxedo and edging
over toward Goshen. Orange county is
still famous for it's butter and Mr..
Hartman doubtless intends to keep a
cow His further intentions have not
as yet TRANSFERRED except as shown by
considerable investments in roads.
Much of the fun in owning a farm two
miles square lies doubtless in planning
what to do with it. Mr.. Carnegie, whose
commodious dwelling on upper Fifth
avenue is already the biggest house in
town, is building himself another in
Westminster county near the st. An
drews golf links, but has not yet given
evidence of an acute attack of land
hunger. Mr.. Whitney has 1000 acres
on Long Island, nearly twice as many
on October mountain and big tract
in the North woods. and there are
many other estates Of from 500 to 5000
acres on Long island and near the
Hudson. DR.. Webb has elbow room at
Shelbourne and leg room in the Adj
rondacks, but the greatest and most in
teresting Of American estates seems
still to be Mr. Vanderbilt's Bltmore in
North Carolina There will be great
sights in architecture, horticulture, ag-
riculture, Horticulture and all the allied
industries and arts to be seen in this
country fifty years from now if the
steel business and railroad business
continue to flourish and government
continues stable.
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1901-10-24
VILLA NJ CHERRY.

p O. Address
Sanford, Daws son
county, Mont.
Range. head OF
Big Dry and Cali
creeks.
Horse brand
same as large
cut on left
shoulder.
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1901-10-24
CHARLES F. HUCKINS.
Hunters Hot Springs.

You can spend week at the famous
resort for So. The local ticket agent
good for Il round trip to Hunters Hot
Springs, and board and lodging at the
hotel for one week; bathing privileges
included,
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1901-10-24

Other brands same
as small cut on right shoulder.
Cattle brand same as small cut
on both shoulders.
The weekly Iberian. (New Iberia, La.) 1894-1946, 1901-08-31
WAUPACA, WIS.


And the Chain of Lakes, the
prettiest spot in Wisconsin for =
summer outing is reached from
Chicago and Milwaukee by the
WISCONSIN CENTRAL RY.
Electric line runs from depot to
lakes. Good trout fishing in streams
within easy reach and black bass
and plckerel IN lakes. For ssilimp
es of Summer Resorts and other
illustrated booklets address Jas. c.
Pond, General Passenger Agent,
Milwaukee. Wis.