davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Sarcasm.

"She always calls her husband my
darling"
"Yes; she's the most sarcastic WON
an know ON. Y. Journal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Very Cordial.

The Guest-There is something very cor
dial in your husband.
The Hostess-Yes, several pousse cafes, I
guess. he came home with ! pocketful Of
cloves.-Chicago Daily News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Too Well

Perdita-Do you know Jack Dash
Ing?
Penelope-Yes.
'Then, why didn't you bowl?
"Well. You see. know him so well
that don't know hirn."-Hariem Life.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

Mrs. Henpeck-What do you think of Civ
ing me for Christmas present?
Mr. Henpeck-I think very well Of it, but
PHILADELPHIA Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Vice Versa.

Tigg There's one good thing about these
college yel.s.
Wigg-What is it?
'They can't sing those glee songs while
they are yelling. p-Baltifnore American.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Accordinr to Directions.

Patient-What tie deuce did you
wake me up for?
New Nurse-The doctor said that you
were to take this sleeping potion at tee
o'clock, sir, and it's just that row.
Syracuse Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Wants to See Fair Play.

Blinks-What do you suppose drug
gist does when he can only make out q
part of doctors prescription?
Jinks-Fills the rest mp with water
and gives the patient a chance.-N. Y
Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

An Atchison girl is always referred to as
"the late Miss Bank" not because she is
dead, but for the reason that she is never
on time.-Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

"A man with a bill" announced tas
court chamberlain.
The king was visibly startled.
''He must be a bird!" exclaimed his
majesty, thinking of the rigorous measures
be had taken to prevent creditors approach
ing the royal PERSONAL---VERY. Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Her Suggestion.

do you know what is the best way
to kill time in the winter, .Dick?" said
IN Allegheny girl to her steady COM
pany.
~ know several ways, but which II
the best way?"
sleigh it."-Pittsburgh Chronicle
TelcQraph.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

An Atchison man who is grumbled at .
good deal by his wife, was surprised lately
to learn that al her club she referred to him
as the best man in the world. "-Atch;son
Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

The Best Prescription for Chills
and Fever is bottle of GRovE's TAsTELEss
CHILL Tonic. tits simply iron and quinineir
form. No cure-no pay. Price, Soc.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

As general rule the mere a man leave.
behind him in this world the less he has II
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Crushinx the oId Man.

Purse-P Proud Father-Can you support my
daughter in the style to which she has been
accustomed?
Complacent Young Mani could if
were coptented with it, but hope to give
her something Understandable Journal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Courted Fifty Years.

The longest courtship on record was
that of Robert Taylor, postmaster at
Ecarva, Ireland. He courted his lady
love for so years and married her in
1917, when his age was los. He recent
" died, in his one hundred and thirty
fourth year.-N. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Best for the bowels.

No matter what ais you, headache 70 .
cancer, you will never get well until your
bowels are put right. Cascarets help nature,
cure you without . grippe or pain, produce
easy natural movements, cost you just -
Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, pa
up in metal boxes, every tablet has C. C. O.
stamped on. it. Beware of limitations.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

Genuine charity is after all not so very
particular ~ to where it begins Detroit
Journal. ~
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Horrible Fate.

Mrs. Marryat-We're thinking Of namile
the baby Mary, after Johns mother.
Mrs. Newitt-O! horrors! That would -
awful.
"Why, what do you meanY
"Graciousi She'll BE- Named for ifa.S-
Philadelphia Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

A dyspeptic is never on good terms will
himself. Something is always wrong. &c
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

The frown of true friend is better than
the smile of q cunning enemy.-Chicago
journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Jell-O, THE New Des.ert.

pleases all the family. Four favors:-Lem
on, Orange, Raspberry and Strawberry. Al
your grocers. 10 cts. Try it to-day!
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

It is remarkable thing how many socie
ties at their meetings waste hours in max
ing minutes.-Ally Sloper.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

Each package OF PUTNAM FADELEss DYE
eolors either Silk, Wool or Cotton perfectly
Sold by all druggists.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
Yong Of Puerto Rico.

Special Pullman Cars leave Chicago Thurs
day, January II, and Thursday, February Il,
ct $50 a. M, connecting with the splendid
new steamships Ponce and San Juan sailing
from New York the second day following.
Individual Tickets sold for other sailing
dates, alternate Saturdays.
Tickets Include All Expenses Every.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02
TOUR OF ALL MExICO

In Pullman's finest Compartment Drawing
Room, Library, Observation and Dining
Cars-all Vestibuled-with the celebrated
Open Top Car "Chililitli" for Observation in
the Mountains and Canons and Dining Car
IN the Tropics.
A delightful trip of SO days with Three
Sseie Tours y the atSSpfSs q re SGusn OF
All exclusive features of these itineraries
Of leisurely travel and long stops-The Sp>-
cial Train starts Tuesday, January =, from
Chicago.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

To Cure . Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money If itfails to cure Csc.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

These select limited parties will be under
the special escort and management of The
American Tourist Association. Reau Camp
bell, General Manager, 1923 Marquette
Building, Chicago.
Itineraries, Maps and Tickets can be had
on application to Agents Of the Chicago,
Milwaukee & st. Paul R'y.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

viii arrest the disease and undor most
solemn guarantee effect cure where
1t is possible by human means.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-02-02

Use 10 POUNDS OF Seeu per acre, Win
peck or two of oats to prevent the
sun, from scalding out the young clo-
yer in the fall. Sow in early Septem-
Der.
Now during the winter, get out on
the land, and scatter broadcast all the
stable manure YOU can command, and
when the clover is in bloom in the
spring, turn it under and prepare the
land for corn. This fall blowing and
replowing in the spring, will get the
land into splendid order for a crop of
corn. Now let the soil below get we'll
settled and the buried clover well
rooted. Do not turn it up again by
deep working of the corn. The corn
roots run far and wide near the sur
face, and their feelings tips are out
near the ends of the roots, and no
other part of the root is engaged in
sucking food from the soil. Then,
down in that deeply worked soil there
will be established capillary tubes
that. will bring up moisture from be-
low. If this state in the soil is inter
fered with by deep working. the soil
is dried rapidly. But if you work the
tand rapidly and as shallow and quick
as possible you win stop the upward
motion of the moisture near the sur
, 1901-03-07
DEFINES OUR DUTY
IN THE PHILIPPINES

New York. March president ia
cob q. Schurman, of Cornell university,
addressed the members of the Phi Beta
Kappa alumni in New York Thursday
night OF the topic, The Philippines; u
Retrospect and IL Forecast"
Among other things. lie declared that
Congress will be guilty of II criminal
act if ii does not pass the SpOoner bill
defining the political rights of the Fill
pinos.'
Speaking of the future of the Philip
pines, he said:
The situation over there has i'm
proved wonderfully within the last
three months and is continuing to i'm
prove. General Macarthur has sent
the most encouraging reports. and he is
II good soldier and II thoughtful man"
In conclusion he said: 1T is certain
that we must maintain n large army in
the Philippines. and for Il long time to
come. The Filipinos must be i'm
pressed. They have no respect for any
thing so much ms force.
I'VE shall hold the Philippines and
the Filipinos must be either our part
ncrs or Il protegcs. 1t is not a ques-
ton of holding on in the Philippines:
it is a question of letting go; and we
can't afford to let go. Promises do not
settle the policies of nations. and that
applies to Cuba as well as TO the Phil
ippines."
, 1901-03-07

Pekin, March 1.-The American
preparations for departure are going
actively forward. All supplies, except
enough for two companies. have been
packed and marked for Manila, The
British plans contemplate II summe
along the Pei-Ho and Il general with
drawal Of forces to India. leaving he
hind by next winter. half II battalion
of Welsh Fusileers as Il legation guard
in Pekin. together with m Indian reg
iment to guard the railroad.
The Germans show few signs of in
tentiOn to depart, but they are endeav
cring to sell 10000 American and Aus,
tralian horses. as well as II number of
CamelS.
1t is rumored the French intend to
withdraw most of their forces, leav-
ing only an infantry brigade, n reti-
ment of cavalry and some artillery to
protect the French legation and to
guard the lines of communication. a
part of this, it is understood. viii be
employed to guard the Franco-Bclgian
railroad from Pckin to pao-Ting-Fu.
In French military circles it is freely
asserted that the French intend to
send n force to he stationed permanent
ly at Hankow and to guard the other
end of the Luhan railroad, 100 kilO-
metres of which have been cuptured.
More definite information ON this point
is awaited with anxiety by the Brit
ish, who regard Such m intention with
serious misgivingS. because calculated
to bring about complications with the
, 1901-03-07

The Nogales (Arizona) Oasis object,
to the publication of uns~ubstantiateJ
rumors in regard to the regions trim
tary to that place. 1t says:
1.-The Imaginative liar of the AssocL.
ated Press has again broken out with
another account of a great and sangul.
nary battle between Yaquls and Mex.
can troops at some point, not men.
toned, 'one hundred miles east from
Ures,' in which it is alleged one hun.
dred on each side We're killed. That
this story, like all other yarns with ref.
erence to Sonora emanating from FL
Paso, is an invention pure and simple
there is no doubt. But six weeks ago
the Oasis editor traversed the region
where the alleged battle is said to have
taken place, and there were neither
Yaquis nor soldiers in the vicinity, nor
within one hundred miles. The Asso.
clated Press is very culpable in per.
hitting the Ell Paso correspondent 10
continue his yarns and spread them
broadcast throughout the country, lie.
monstrances have been sent, but they
are unheeded."
, 1901-03-07
BOYS COMING
HOME FROM MANILA

Company G-Privates G. II. French
OsSian l.. w. Hensen, John j. Fender.
Company H-Private Thomas l..
Hoagland.
Company I-Corporal Harry j. Col
Iins. Cook William II. Smith, Privates
Edward +. Cheney. Cyrus NJ. Morris.
Company K-Private Robert NJ. Mae
Donald.
Company L-Privates Abram Ashust.
Pearl j. Garfield. John Muller.
Colonel Grove. IN his dispatch to his
parents, said that his brother. Sergeant
Major w. $. Grove, had remained in
the Philippines.
Most Of the Colorado boys In the
regiment have official positions. The
aGjutant was Captain +. Il. Booth.
who commanded company Il of the
First Colorado. the Pueblo company.
Claude West, n Denver boy, was the
commiSSary sergeant. and several 9th
ers had good places. The Denver boys
with the regiment. II is presumed. are:
Macdonald. Foster, Sanders. smith.
Cheney. Arthur and Morris. Hoagihnd
is from Boulder; Campbell, Wilson ana
Patton of Lendville; Clark, Jones,
Owens and Whitman of Pueblo; Klein
ent and Redhair of Greeley, II
French, Haven and Pender of Cripple
Creek.
one Of the ColoradOans who will not
come back was Harry Wright of Den
yer. n clerk for the Union Pacific. He
died i'm n hospital. He enlisted for ser
vice in Cuba, hut got no further than
Chickamauga park. He enlisted Tor
the Thirty-siXth and went to the Phil
ippincs and Joined the regiment there.
Colonel Grove succeeded Colonel
, 1901-03-07

Topeka, Kan, March 2.-Since Mrs.
Carrie Nations return from Peoria
Thursday night, she has occupied her
cell in the county Jail here. Mrs. Ma
ton says she was greatly pleased with
her trip and believes the publication of
her paper will do much for the cause
of temperance. She spoke In the high
est terms of the management of the
Journal and of the mayor of Peoria,
both of whom had treated her very
courtcously, she said.
Asked tonight as to her future plans,
Mrs, Nation said:
You just tell the people that Carrie
Nation will attend to her knitting the
same as usual. | will go to smashing
as soon as | am released. of course,
That is my mission in the world Mt
present, and l am going to fulfill it to
the best of my ability"
, 1901-03-07

Washington. March 2-The House
rer.oved all possibility Of an extra ses-
sion yesterday by concurrlng in the
Senate amendments TO the army APP
preparation bill. The vote stood 100 to
134. 1t was a strict party vote, with
the exception of Mccall, Loud, Driscoll
and Mann, who voted with the Demo-
Gratis. Mr.. Cooper of Wisconsin an
swered present and was not paired.
The bill now goes to the President.
The House was brought to n vote by
"A special order prepared by the com
mittCe on rules. which permitted an
hours debate on a side. The Demo
Gratis attempted to 1ilibuster. but they
We're overwhelmed. The debate was
not especially noteworthy. The Phil,
ippine and Cuban amendments We're de,
Tended by the Republicans and as.
sailed by the Democrats.
The only exciting incident occurred
mt the close of the debate. when Mr..
Hull of Iowa. whose name had been
connected with n lumber and develop
ment company i'm the Philippines,
frankly acknowledged that he had in,
vested money in it. He said it was a
legitimate enterprise which was not
looking for government favors. Subse,
quently, when he stated that the com
pany would not have invested money
If Bryan had been elected. the Demo
Gratis jeered and Kissed and shouted
that it was because If Bryan had been
elected the Philippines would not have
been exploited. Mr.. Lentz challenged
Mr.. Hull's right to vote, but Mr.. Hull
voted aye.
Mr.. Tawney presented the conference
report upon the ST. Louis exposition
bill. which agreed to the enate amend
ment providing for the closing of the
exposition on Sunday. and disagreed to
the Charleston exposition amendment.
The report was adopted.
Mr.. Dalzell from the committee on
rules, then presented the special rule
providing for a vote on motion to con
in the Senate amendments to the
army bill after an hours debate on
each side. He demanded the previous
question upon the adoption of the rule.
The previous question was ordered,
139 to 100. This allowed twenty min
utes on n side for debate upon the adop-
ton of the rule. Mr.. Richardson. the
minority leader. declared that the rule
was designed to force Il vote after two
hours debate upon the most important
issue in the history of the country. The
Philippine and Cuban amendments en-
grated upon the army bill by the Sen
ate We're offensive. obnoxious and I'M
constitutional. They had been placed
upon the bill in opposition 10 every rule
of the House. Yet no opportunity was
, 1901-03-07
HOUSE CONCURS IN SENATE
AMENDMENTS TO ARMY BILL

TO be allowed to amend them. under
the Senate amendment there would be
governed 10.O00,OO0 Filipinos as Amer
lean subjects without n right or consti-
tutional guarantee. The conditions I'M
posed in regard TO Cuba would deny 10
the people the free and independent
government which the American gov
eminent solemnly promised the Cubans
and the world.
Mr.. De Almond passionately declared
that we are now having the first real
congressional taste of imperialism.
Heretofore Congress. he said, had
shirked its duty and had allowed the
President TO rule with the hand ana
force of al emperor. Now, without
opportunity for discussion, hardly for
protest, imperialism was to be sane
toned by the Congress of the United
! States. lie declared that by trades,
bargains and connivances" the rights
of 100000 O people in the Philippines
were to be frittered away. War in
Cuba was to be risked.
II commend to the tyrants here the
plumber they will get" said lie. For
myself / stand true to my conception
of duty. and | condemn the tnfamy
they are perpetrating."
Mr.. Lacey ua.) called the attention
Of the Democrats to the excellent pre-
cedents for the proposed legislation in
the acts for the government of the
Louisiana and Florida purchases. OF
course, he said, the proposed method
of government was purely temporary.
In time n permanent form of govern
ment would be established
Mr.. Richardson said that If the act
for the government of the Louisiana
purchase was substituted for the pro-
posed proposition every Democrat
would vote for it.
Mr.. Dalzell insisted that the method
proposed for securing n vote upon the
pending proposition was not unusual
in the closing hours c. Il Congress, and
cited several cases in Democratic
Congresses when analogous proceed
ings We're had. He asserted that the
proposition relative to the Philippines
found its exact parallel in the legis-
lation for the government of the Lou
isiana purchase.
He called attention to the fact that
the Presidents instructions to the Phil
ippine commission gave to the Fill
PINGS every constitutional guarantee,
including the right of trial by jury.
AS to the Cubcn amendment, II simply
provided for the maintenance of the
Monroe doctrine and the proper santa
ton of the island to protect ourselves
and the Cuban people.
The rule was adopted, 145 to 127.
, 1901-03-07
A. r. ENCAMPMENT
WILL BE AT PUEBLO

Denver. Colo March i.-COmmander-
In Chief Rassieur of the G.. y. X. will
he present ut least one day of the TWEEN
e~y-sccond annual cncampment of the
department of Colorado and Wyoming
at Pueblo. April 1912.
The program for the department en-
campment follows:
Committees meet Wednesday morn
ing, April 10Th. Business sessions in
the afternoon. Wednesday evening re-
ception by department and national of
ficers ut Grand hotel, and campfire ut
Board of Trade hall. Thursday, April
1lth, business sessions. Thursday
evening. addresses by the national and
department officers. Friday, April 18th
public installation OF oTiicers-elect
Grand street parade. commemoration
Of the fortieth anniversary Of the firing
ON Fort Sumter.
Following is the committee on ere
deutials: Thomas j. FOotc. post No.
4. chairman; NJ. Ii. Fitch, post No. $;
l.. T.. sherman. post M. ~; |. ID.
Chamberlain. post No. 81; George ii.
Hamilton. post No. n. The committee
will meet at department headquarters
Mt 9 n. M, Wednesday. April 10th, and
remain in session until . p. IN.
The meetings of the encampment
will he ,held in the Board of Trade hall
on North Union avenue: the opening
session will convene promptly at 3 p.
NJ, Wednesday. April 10Th,
The seventeenth annual encampment
of the Womnn's Relief Corps auxiliary
to the Grand Army Of the Republic,
Department of Colorado and Wyo-
ming, will be held on the same dates
in Woodlands hall, 1919 South Union
avenue.
The eighth annual convention of the
Ladies of the G.. \. X. will he held ON
the same dates in odd Fellows hall,
Swift block. corner North Main and
Sixth streets.
The Sons of Veterans will meet In
Butler post hall. Coz North Main street,
The Ladies' Aid to the Sons of Neter-
ans in the Board of Trade building.
, 1901-03-07
JEALOUSY AMONG FORCES OF
FOREIGN POWERS In PEKIN

Yang-Tse v!ceroys, If for no other rea-
SON.
Particularly noticeable Just now are
the sharp lines drawn between the
various "natiOnalities ut the social func-
tons. General GaZlec, the British
commander, gave an elaborate dinner
ut which only British. German ana
American representatives were pres
ent. including generals. ministers and
secretaries of legations. NJ. de Giers,
the Russian minister, gave n banquet,
ut which only Russians, Frenchmen
and AuStrians were guests, while the
Japanese minister entertained ut din
ner last evening all Americans and
Japanese.
The officers Club, at the Temple of
Heaven. where games and other
amusementS are provided, is attended
only by the English, Americans and
Germans, with the possible exception
of n few Japanese on rare occasions.
The ministers of the powers now
meet thrice Il week. but no business of
great Importance is transacted. They
are now going over local claims. The
subject of legation defenses is also
being considered, although this will be
left for final consideration until the
United States government has reached
the decision as To the legation barrack
question, which the legation is anN-
iOus to have settled Immediately, in
order that the building may he con
Structed before the rainy season sets
in.
, 1901-03-07

Denver, Colo, March 1.-The month
of February in Colorado broke all rec
ords for dry weather i'll the history of
the weather department. In the
monthly report just issued by Fore
caster B"randenburg the precipitation
for zach month of February commence
ing with 1872 is shown. For that
time the average precipitation was .53
of an inch. In the t~wenty-nine years
enumerated the greatest precipitation
occurred in February, 1881, 1.22 inches.
The precipitation for the month of
February, 1901, was .OG of an inch.
showing n total deficiency for the
the month of .4G. Since the beginning
of the year there is an accumulated
deficiency of 81 of an inch. With so
little precipitation it is feared that the
supply Of water for irrigation purposes
this year will be very limited, working
hardship on the farmers.
During the month of February in
Denver there We're ten clear days, thir-
teen partly cloudy days. and five
cloudy days. OF n possible 800 hours
of sunshine there We're 200 hours of
sunshine. The highest temperature
during the month was on February
18th, when the thermometer registered
siNty-one degrees. The lowest was on
February 9th, when IL was seven de
grees below zero. The mean tempera-
turc for the month was tw~enty-cight
degrees, while the average temperature
for the month is thirty-two degrees.
, 1901-03-07

Berlin, March lit is related by
Americans who have recently returned
from ST. Petersburg that in high cir.
Giles Of the Russian capital II is said
that Hussia will approach the discus.
sion of the tariff difficulty in the friend.
Hest spirit toward the United Stutcs.
and the belief that the matter may be
amiCably settled Is emphasized In st.
Petersburg. American exports to Rus.
sin are much heavier than United
States statistics show, as heavy ship.
mcmts come to Russia 10y way Of Eng.
land mad Germany.