The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1901-09-18
BILL ARP rs KEPT AT WORK
his Wife Reminds Him When
NecessarY---He Always Obeys
Orders.

LIS W11e Reminds Him Whe
Necessary---He Always Obey
Orders.
: Atlanta Constitution
My wife said she had premopi,;o,
that we would have an early fall and
nau better prepare for 1t right awuy
She reminded me that there were som,
broken glass on the roof of the fiowe
PIT and the sash needed repalnting ant
tne shelves renewing and L nigh
whltewash the brick wall and so fortl
and 80 fifth, and 80 on. We'll, | lave
done all that and was humbly waitino
for the next order when she told me
that Sam, the darky, wasent coming tc
run the lawn mower over the grass in
the front yard and maybe | could do il
and save rs cents. Well, have done
hat, but nobody paid me the rs cents
and next thing l knew she sent one of
The grandchildren TO me for 75 cents to
pay her debt to the aid society. These
women have got nearly as many clubs
ana societies as the men, but they STAY
at home of nights and that is bettor
than the men do. There are the
Masons and Odd Fellows and Nights
of Pythias and Nights of Damon and
the Royal Arcanum and the Elks and
the Nights of Jericho and Nights Of
Labor and they are all nights, or mid
! nights, and the women have to STAY at
nome and nurse the children If I
was marrying woman l would strike
Out The word obey and put in promise
Tor the man that he wouldcnt join any
thing that took him away from home
at night" It's bad enough for youpp
folks to tramp around at night hunting
for the moon. They are crazy about
the moon, and that's why crazy folks
are called lunatics-for luna means the
moon and the ticks are not far off on
moonlight walk in the woods. Last
Tuesday night there were six courles
OF our lunatlcs who went up the river
road in search of the moon. Thew
wanted tC see it rise from out the water
and they had to get out to the big, flat
rock In the river to see 1t, and they had
to slide down the bank to reach the
rock, and the young men cooned it
down first to clear the way and the
yallcr jackets were waiting for them
and by the time the girls were on the
slide the little devils began the attack
and they took 'em on the slide In the
flank and i'll the rear, IN the face and
shirt waist and arms and legs, and took
the young men, too, and such scream
ing and scrambling was never heard or
seen in that part of the country. The
young men did not desert their part
ners, but showed them up the slide again
with great alacrity. The whole party
were bunged up amazing. Eyes and
ears and noses and hands and legs be-
gan to swell, and they never got to see
the moon at all. The girls cried with
anguish and the boys moaned and
groaned and there was no ammonia,
no soda, no doctor and no house with
in mile. They could just see enough
to find the horses and by tho time they
got back home some were blind in one
eye and some in both, and you couldent
tell hand from foot, nor nose from
u turnip beet nor the ankle from calf
calf of the leg, l mean. Well, they
| got home about midnight and that D.
mile ride was the longest and most
miserable of their lives. The young
meh have not yet reported for duty
nor have the girls dared to look into a
mirror, for fear of breaking it 1t is q
wonder that those girls with such thin
apparel were not stung to death, but |
suppose that the stulfing and padding
about the breastworks saved them.
We old school boys know something
about yellow jackets. IL is bad enough
to tackle nest in the daytime in open
ground where you can run and fight
ut to slide down into one near The
water on dark night must be awful
in the extreme. The last time l came
in conflict with the spitcful things
located the nest and went to the house
and got the wire fly catcher and set i,
over tie holes. 1t worked beautiful,
and was fast filing up when an out
slider took me, "ker-bim,; on the bach
OF the neck, and departed those coast Il
with alacrity. by and by the boy
came and built little fire not far ava,
and set the fly catcher over The smok,
and killed the whole concern. Blu
yoI must look out for the outsiders-
the scouts and sharp shooters. Bee
can't sting but one time, but JACKIE
can keep up as long as the poison lasts
The sting of bee is bad, that of
jacket is oadder and IL wasp is The bad
:: dest of all except hor.e ct or, perhaps
the devils packsaddlc on fod,le
1 blade. They do say in Texas that
o tar .ntula is worse than all the rest pu
@ together and frequently proves fatn
They say, too, that any sting is a cur
i, for the rheumatism, but never foun
" a man that had tried 1t, Some polsor
;, affect one person more than anothc
A good citizen of this county died
"a hours from bee sting, but n
faithful servant, Tip. can take the
j.. up In his hands and let them elite" {
u his neck and face and sting him fu,
J ously, and he brushes them off ar
lauQha and aaua ihaN iinkln him