The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-05-19

pretty, even II do say it to your face
Inc very idea. So annoying. don't you
Know II makes a woman think that me,
| DO those Things more ont Of pure mean
ness than anything else"
And what do you think he said when
L insisted that 1 was not old? Said h.
was supposed to be the Judge and It was
matter that concerned no one else
anyway, and of slight importance Sligc.
Importance. indeed 1 guess it makes Z,
cluerence to me whether or rot I a..
thought to be forty years old or twenty
! nFe And am I stout? I don't weigh nor
than 100 pounds What does he ca!
stout? 1 told him ne was not Ct 20 re :.
porter on a train. so there. and then
IauSaed and said ne was sorry he offende
me, but that it was the rule of the roa0
and. 4 he had poor judgment. he woul
future"
BY way of explanation II might he STAG
Cd that the woman In question had ius
been travelling on a descriptive ticket an
the conductor mad concluded that sb.
was stout and had punched the ticker
accordingly. Furthermore. he had bee
brave enough 70 punch it elderly etc
1t was this that brought on the trouble.
The above is something that is heard
whenever conductors get together H.
numbers. Women never did Ike tie de
seripdve tickets and they never viii.
1t goes against the grain. makes them
sensitive, and conductors often have q
time Of it just because of this tat.
1t is very seldom that cons go off
on a sidetrack and write poetry. One
In awhile it happens. however and
gees without saying that the efTusion g.
pointed. Following IS something picked
up at the Ryan hotel:
With saddened face and battered hat,
And eye that told of blank despair
On wooden bench q traveller sat.
Guessing the fate that b-Cug [ m there
Nine hodrs he cried, we've fingered
here,
With thoughts intent on distant homes.
Waiting fer that delusVe train
That. always coming, never comes,
! IN weary and worn, sad forl0-n
And paralyzcd in every function
! nope their shades
MAY dwell in hades
VINO first invented Essex Junction.
I've Travelled no;th. I've Travelled south.
CT mountain, forest. prairie liver,
In oceans storm. i'm deserts drought
through railroad smash and steamboat
sEiver
Until ! reached this dismal spot
~ man accursed, of God fOrsaken
Where strange new fo:ms OF misery
Assaii new lives without comtUnction-
And ! hope their shades
May dwell H. hades
VINO hrst invented Essex JunCt ion.
Here Boston waits for OgdenbuTg
And OGdCnsburg for Montreal
And late New y OTk long tarrieth
And Saratoga hindrCth all
rom Tar Atlantic's waVe-swept bays
TO MississiDpis trl bid tide
all accidc Ets mistakes. delays
Are gathered here ard multiplied
! . fellow man. avoid this place
As YOU would plague, or Peter Funk
Shun,
And ] hope their shades
May dwell I'm haCes.
Who first invented Essex Junction
And long and late conductors tell
or trains remote, shipWreckeG and slow,
/ Illl even the engines disual bell
Iakes up the cry--no gOi-nO co.
! oh let me from this hole depart
BY any route, so tbs q long Cne?"
/ he cried. and with sudden start
! tie Jumped on be a-G train "a wrong
One)
| And as he vanished IN the smoke
! he shouted with redoublad urctiOn.
| 81 hone their shades
! May dwell in hados.
Who first invented Essex Junction"
The junction In question is near Bur
lington VT, and though the place may
not be what it oEce was. it is bad enoug
for anyone