The leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1895-1905, 1901-09-18

cuSS. we are DOCn, as you well know,
on the beat, in the full belief that the
world owes us living; and it is our
business TO see that we get it. But,
changing the subject, have you heard
that Miss Oracle Tinsel is about to be
married?"
B.-"The deuce you say! / feel quite
sure it is to neither of US. Never shall
| forget how she bounced us both, in
succession, with most unfeeling, vigor-
Gus kicks; ever since refusing to re-
recognize us, two young bloods, as
gaudy and stylish as the country af
fords, at that !"
FIT seems the young lady, though,
cares but little for style, if one may
judge from the choice she has made"
B.-"Indeed, who is the fortunate
one who has succeeded in winning, as
prize, the lovely and accomplished
young heiress ?"
F.-"The last person on earth one
would have supposed. 1t is no one
else than Tom Brown, the same individ-
ual who we have both, for the past two
years, tried our utmost to draw into
our games"
B.-"What that clod-hopper, that
hayseed, that redneck, that BOBBY of a
farmer Where is the man who
can comprehend the caprices and
freaks of women |"
FILE is certainly very plain
young man, without the slightest ap-
probation of style. Why, it was only
the other day in crowd, heard him
ridicule the present fashion of parting
the hair in the middle, declaring that
no sensible, solid young man would or
could endure to disgrace himself with
this mark of a weak brain. Such, he
insisted, as wear their hair in this style,
are nothing but weaklings, mere Sissy
ninnies', whose big and only ambition
it is, to appear as nice little boys, ask
ing: please, mama, give me biscuit
with some butter and sugar on it. l
tell you, Bubble was hot and wanted
to hit the insulting rascal; but then l
thought it best not to do it, as it were."
B.-"Yes, and therein you proved
yourself downright coward. I'll tack
lie the gentleman on sight I'll cane
him, black and blue. Well, no, on Sec
ond thought, l guess had better not
try that; he is twice as strong as am.
1 shall, therefore, call him out, chal-
lenge him to the field of honor, in NOR
tai combat
F.-"Curb yourself f, Bubble, the fell
low, if judge him rightly, has fight in
him and you may push this thing too
far. Besides, he is not your social
equal; think Of THAR
B.-"Why, he is recognized and re-
ceived into the best families and many
are eloquent over his manly virtues.
No, Flash, that is only a pretense used
by you, to rob me of the luxury of re-
venge. Fight him-I will, even though
the heavens fall !"
F.-"Let the senseless rabble laud
his alleged fine qualities as they
please. l assure you, Friend Bubble,
the fellow has no style, knows abso-
lutely nothing of the punctilios of ETH
quette and is too boorish to associate
with fashionable, well-bred people"
B.-"My determination is fixed and
l shall call him out, nevertheless.
F.-"What When he eats soup from
the end of his spoon ?"
B.-"What is that you say ?"
Flight fellow who drinks his
coffee from a saucer ?"
| B.-"You don't mean to say--!"
F.-"I do though; and add, further
more, that he actually feeds himself
| with his knife !"
B.-"Oh, that's too absurd, it makes
me sick T.
F.-"My dear Bubble, it was my
own eyes which beheld the jay carry
peas on his knife blade to his
mouth. Is that the class of creature
that gentleman should fight? Forbid
it, high Heaven |"
B.-"Flash, you surprise, you stag
ger me! / must drop the matter and
thank you for saving me from fear
full disgrace. Here. take something to
drink !"
F.-"I don't care, if do. Why, it's
blind tiger whiskey, vile stuff, as
strong as aqua fortis. Have cigarette,
Bubble, it DISCUSSES the breath after
drink.
B.-"Thank you. must leave you
now aud play young Nurich again,
SO, TIA ia, old boy. May your shadow
never grow less nor your debts bigger"
F.-"Say, pard, if the devil should
chance to call for you tonight, tell him
that say he mustn't be too hard on
you"
B.-'sThauks awfully. You're feeling
YOUR whisky rs. F. SMURR.
September, 9th. 1901.