West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-04-04
THE JERICHO
POSTOFFICE.
Zap Perkins Postmaster, Tells About a
Wave OF Dcsolation That Il Feared.

1
years. lie has about FIVE minutes to wait
before Jnba Jones comes in. Juba sauuters
back To the postolhee department aud takes
asquint at all the boxes to see who's got a
a letter and then goes back to Moses and
says
"l.ook ahere, Moses Carter, dye know
that this kcntry is goin to ruin as fast as a
hoss kin gallop.p
| 81 do" says Moses. ',I've bin thinkin
things over fur the last four weeks, and
long about o'clock this afternoon made
up my mind that the United States was in
mighty tight place"
'im a-lookin fur panic that will bust
up every business man in this kentry," says
Jubs. with good deal of complaeency.
"Follered by yaller fever, the cholera and
the smallpox" adds Moses, as he slaps
his leg.
By that time Joab Warner shows up. lie
keerlessly inquiries IL elothespins hev come
down aud beeswaN gone up and then says
to Moses aud Juba
"By gum, but didn't know whether I'd
/ L
here, but wouldn't guarantee that even
brick of the town of jericho could be found
week from today. | tell you, boys, this
ken,ry is goin to be swept by sich wave of
desolashun as no livin man ever heard of. -
''She is, Joab," says Moses.
Cant wriggc out of it," adds Juba.
"Nes, sir" continues Joab as he spreads
out his hands. 'thars goin to be downfall,
sich downfall as mortal man never dream.
OF of. was tellin Hannah before left
the house that she'd better hold on fur a
month about gittin new par of shoes. In
four weeks from now she'll either be IN
heayen or the price of the shoes will be
down To so cents pair. The kentry seems
to be prosperous, but that only adds to the
danger. Tn tellin you, Moses Carter, and
I'm tellin you Juba Jones, that we are
siandln on the brink of yawnin chasm, and
that ehasm yawns aud yearns to take us in."
"She do" says Moses.
'She do, adds Juba."
Joab Is drawing a long breath and gitiin
ready for some more Of the kind when Dea-
con Spooner comes in II n. O. molasses
had gone up or down cent a gallon, he
stops to post me and then passes on to the
felles around the stove and rat,les on
barl with his cane and says
"Didn't ! predict II Haven't | bin
saying so every day since 1872 Folks hev
called me fool and sneered at me, but
we'll see who'll come ont on top. didn't
know whether I'd better come out tonight
or not, but I finally thought I'd chance IL.
Whar well all be tomorrer nigh, at this
time heaven only knows. s'pose you boys
hev red the New York papers today.
The three of en- nod sorrowfully and
solemny, and the deacon jabs at the stove.
pipe and shouts
"Wool dropped cent and half pound
and field beans gone down cents bushe.
It's the beginning of the end. Moses Car
ter, you've known me for 80 years lula
Jones, I've bought butter of you ever since
I was married, and, Joab Warner, me- you
run sawmill together when this country
was oyerrun wita.wolyes and bars. want
to know If any one of you ever took me for
an alarmist ?"
81 never did, Deacon" answers the three
together.
I'm glad to hear you say so. I'm not
an alarmist, though I've been called one
simply because kin see a foot from my
nose. Since the year 1857 I've bin pre-
dictin that this keniry was run on wrong
| MI nd tkat tatI
change or bust. She would not change,
and the bust has come. Before midnight
tonight you'll hear the crash Of Dustin
banks, factories and stores from Maine to
California. aud when you git up in the
mornin the scene of desolashun will bring
tears Of blood. What is to become Of us
no man can say. They call me an alarmist
and sneer at me, but who vas right and
who was wrong 2"
The three listeners are noddin their heads
to let the deacon know they are on his side
when in comes Lish Billings. It's easy to
be seen that he's got sunthn on his mind,
but whether it's the fate of North America
or the price Of sheep pelts nobody kin
guess till he climbs slowly up on the
counter and says:
81 was thinkin Of reshinglin my wood
shed this summer, and this afternoon was
around askin the price Of nails Wha,
dye s'pose has happened to shingle nails -
II know 20 shouts the deacon as he
waves his cane over Moses Carer's head.
81 know They've gone up cent a
pound"
"Thars it--a cent pound, " adds Lish.
"And what dye argy from that - ask,
Joab after two minits Of dramatic silence.
Thar can't be bu, one argument Tbi,
keniry is goin to tip up and spill rs al out
Yes, sir, the man who don't die with the
bilious collie before this week Is out Is eoir
to see such scene Of horror as the world
never presented before. The breakin loos,
Of Il circus elephants all to once wont b,
no comparison to IT,"
"liear Hear % shouts the deacon.
'Iish IS dead right" adds the others.
They was wailin fur Lish TO 20 on, and
he was hitoihin around fur ideas when ia
comes Squar Joslyn. Thar never was 4
time since he was years old that IN,
squaf couldpt tell why this keuiry wai
goin 10 the dogs, and he's allus had leetl,
advantage over the rest Of the crowd in
bein able TO use big words lie don't ever
wait to say good evenin but rappin on 4
sugar barl with his cane, he pitches right IN