The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1901-11-27
A BATCH OF GOOD STORIES.
These Yarns Will Keep Man in
Good Humor With the World.

schemes the small boys will resort
in order to gain free admission 10
show, but the latest one, and possib
the most original one which has com
. TO our notice is told by w. G.. .Iustic,
business manager of " A Runawa
Girl" company.
!" IL happened in Beaumont, Tex.
said MIR. Justice. "I was takin
tlckets at the door of the opcra hous
.. ~hen my attention was attracted tC
ward line specimen of canine species
lie was most beautiful bred bird doc
observed the restless, nervous move
ments OF the animal for some time, a
he continued to dodge in and out O
the thea'er, invariably annovIno me
as he would each time push his wa,
between the crowd and the ticket box
stood it as long as my patience woul,
allow, ana was once or twice sorel,
tempted to try the boot experiment, t1
see II it were possible to rid myself o.
the nuisance, but every time L raised
my foot feeling of compassion would
come over me. At length whom had
oesun to despair Of chasing the brute
away, ragged little urchin, who had
been watching my great disconcern
approached me timidly ard said: Say
mister, know the owner of that doy.
ana II you will let me in to sec the
show will take him home and chain
hm up '''' :
81 gladly agreed to this proposition, :"
continued Mr.. Justice, "for the pre-
sence of the dog worried me no little.
Boy and dog had scarcely been zone
-~nen the boy returned in company
with a companion, both of whom
started for the gallery entrance. /
stopped the second boy just as he male
dash Tor tho stairs and asked him for
his ticket. He replied that he had as.
sisted the other boy i'm securing the
dog, and that he thought for that rca-
son he was entitled 10 sec the show.
vi course ] would not stand for that
sort or a game, and was about to law
hands ON him when he turned sudden
ly and said: Well, mister, l know
VINO owns that dog, and if you don't
pass me in I'll go back and unchain
him
"That was took much for me, and
appreciated the originality of the boys
threat too much TO refuse him, and,
when informed that it was all right, he
dashed up those stairs as If his life do.
pended on it,"
IRISH BRoGUE OPENED THE noon
New York Tribune: Ex-Congress-
man John Finncrty, of Chicago, has
been staying at the Hoffman house re-
Gently, and his presence in the CORR
dor the other evening led fellow
Chicagoan to relate the following tale:
4" Years ago John Finnerly was en-
ploycd by The Chicago Times as it's
southwestern and Mexican corrcspori-
dent. Finnerty had rowing commits
sion to cover all or any part of the tor
iltorY, and so 1T was not surprising that
he one day arrived at fair-sized MeXi-
can city by way OF lonely trail. He
mad boon investigating somo new min
ing discovery, and for week had been
out OF touch with civilization and in
country where bath and barber
were regarded as superfluous luxuries
therefore, iravcl-stained and weary,
with ten days growth of beard upon
his classic face, he looked moro the
hobo than the clever man he is, when
he al'ghlcd at the only hotel in the
town. But one room remained, and
That a poor one. Finnerly took it and
retired at once, as he was utterly worn
out. From his dreams he was soon
rudely awakened by the porter, who
advised him over the transom that an
other traveller had arrived, sand dun
wanted to share your bed, sah.'
"'Tcll him to go Gehennap was
the iratc response that came back.
"Ihere was pause, and then, in a
heavy English accent came the query:
Il say, my good fellow, won't you let
fellow countryman m?'
"'Arc you an Engllshman2' was
Finncrty's kind inquiry.
"'i am was the response, "but you
might call me Britishor.'
'Nayther as the one nor the other
are ye countryman of mine, and it's
not the inside of this room ye'll see
The nIghtl' rcjoined Finncrly, as he
turned over and started to cOmDose
himself TO sleep.
"I say, there came another ap-
peal over the transom, and the English
accent made way for an Irish brOgue,
it's the truth pll be telling you. 'Tis
Belfast lad, and no other, That am.
"sCome in, then,' said Finnerty, as
he threw wide the door. 'If Irish We
be, Pll chance your being an Orange
man and share my bed with ye.'
"'Grea heavensl' gasped the other,
as he looked at Finnerty's dirt an,l
wliiskers. Are ye a white man or
naygur2'"
AN ABSENT MINDED MARRIED COUPLE
Youths Companions: That the pro.
verbal abscnt-minded professor is
sometimes ably abctted by his wife il
illustrated by a story told of. Professor
Bunsen. One evening, about the usua
hour. for retiring, he took it into hi,
head to run over TO the club, just q,
he and madam were returning from al
.evening call.
" But" said the lady, 4" 1 must .hav,
the front door locked before 1 retire.
This emergency staggered the pro
fessor, and he looked bewildered at hi
wife, and The lady, seized with an in
) spirNtion, continued:
"Pll go in and lock the door am
throw you the key from the window.
This programme was carried out, an
, when he reached the club the prc