The San Francisco call., 1901-11-03

How vulgar! How provinclaiP ex-
claims the present generation. But what
would they think OF the manners of our
more remote forbears, when, as bride and
groom making their first appearance in
church, they proudly took the most prom
inent seats and in the middle of the SER
mon deliberately rose and turned slowly
around several times to display their we'd
ding hnery fully and unbushingIy! This.
extraordinary exhibition is voucned for
upon undtsputably good authority.
The word etiquette" meant originally
q ticket or tag affixed to bag or bundle
to note its contents. From this the word
passed TO certain cards, which, during the
reign CT Louis XIV of France were given
by the court functionary to eacn guest
upon which were written the chief rules
OF the conduct to be observed. The word
has been preserved-for lack of a better
to express the recognized standard of be-
havior among persons entitled to be con-
sidered in good society Its msdern Eng
lish equivalent is good form" The one
expression is as open to the repruach If
being slang az the other
Our own social code is patterned largely
after the usages in favor among the Eng
llsh upper classes, although there are oc-
casions upon which we are law unto
ourselves. The "Mother-isle,. sets us the
example, but, having reached our matur-
ity, we, in common with other grown-up
children, assume the direction of cur con-
duct when we please.
England: The rule of politeness there is
TO be quiet, act naturally, take no airs
ana make no hustle. This perfect breed
ing mas cost great deal of drill"
We have among ourselves large class
of quiet ladies and gentlemen, with minds
broadened by travel and association with
cultured people, with inherited traditions
of good breeding and well versed in the
social ethics of the older civilizations To
them VIC may defer, to them safely look
for direction.
1t is only the chimney-corner philos-
CIPHER who scorns and sneers at learning
the rules of etiquette.
In the changeful conditions of our So
ciety, where, unit tra mmeled by class re-
st1iction, all may make their way to emf
nence, there is need of guidance in mat
ters social and fortunately a universal .
recognition of their Importance. Many,
all over the country are asking for d.
rection and for definite laws of conduct
10 be observed, according to the most re-
cent DEGREES of fashion.
There is nothing derogatory to us that
We are not all conversant with the latest
forms of conventionality. Our society is
IN evolution, but the anxiety to learn the.
often painful dread of making a mistake,
is reaSsuring. They are growing pains =
Bonaparte took lessons of the great
actor, Talma, how TO comport himself in
his new dignity and had his court drilled
IN etiquette as he did his army in military
tactics.
When the great Catherine of Russia
gave receptions to her nobility she wis
obliged to publish certain rules of con-
duct that would be unnecessary now with
the most untaught peasant Gentlemen
were not to get drunk before the feasr
was ended; ladies were enjoined not {.
wipe their mouths on the table cloth, ana
noblemen were forbidden to strike the r
wives in company: The curiosity is still
and the edict no doubt was needed
:, Formerly there was an etiquette of war
Inc Frenchmen at Fontenoy face to fac.
with their English opponents, polite,-
bade them 'fire first" But these Wet
hammered men oppressed their peasants,
and in private broke all the commanl-
ments of courtesy which we revere.
This discrepancy betweenform and fact
has brought dscredit upon the subjecl
of polite observances in the minds Of
some, who say; "Give us truth before
quette involve a degree of Discrimination
that often duplicates us in positive hypoc-
rlsy, IN unequivocal falsehood that none
should, justify. They ask why palliate
cial obigation?"
This is question for social casuists to
decide No thinking person would under
may be carried to excess.
very amiahle woman once called upon
a friend with newborn baby. isn't
mother. An affirmative answer was given.
but the next day the mother received a
note saving: ION reflection 1 have con-
eluded that | was not truthful when |
salo your baby was pretty. / do not think
her pretty baby, but don't doubt that
she is a good one and hope may prove
great JOY to you
One cannot but feel that In this instance
Truth was wounded in the house OF her
friends. The deeper truth of kindness and
sympathy that for the moment saw the
baby through it's mothers loving eyes
was sacrificed to the surface truth that
appeared after cool and unsympathetic
reflection.
We are not justified, however In de-
claring to a friend that we are bored at
an entertainment and are going home and
In the next breath telling our hostess that
we are indebted to her for very delight
full evening.
Nor may we say to our friend Don't
introduce me to that cad" and the next
minute while shaking his hand repeat the
formula, 'Happy to meet you'-unless one
can say 1T in such level perfunctory tones
that conventionality owes nothing to cor
dialfty and yet is satisfied.