Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-07-27
THEY'RE ALL THERE
Familiar Types One Always Sees
at Atlantic City.
ARE 4 PART OF THE LANDSCAPE
1t Wouldn't Be the Same Old
Place Without Them.
BY THE SAD SEA WAVES
Special Correspondence Of The Evening Star

Special Correspondence Of The Evening Star.
ATLANTIC CITY, July g. 1eo1.
yes" remarked the man with the cold
eye and the rayaled cigar, out at the end
o. one of the piers, they're all here again.
Don't know what I'D have done If all of
EN- hadn't turned up. Probably I'd have
got mad and packed up my doll rags ard
gone home. But they're all here and
the man with the raveled cigar gazed N
the general direction of the board walk
and looked well content.
Yep" he went on, the first one looked
for, customary. was the woman who
wears about half a pound Of diamonds
when she shows up for breakfast l found
her all right. There were seven of her
right at the hotel at which I'm staying,
and the sight of her morning spIendor had
it's usual effect Of making me as happy as
any little child I observed that tn. nails
OF the fingers of three Of the seven, whose
hands just ratified with diamonds, were
by no means cleanly, but this, too. was
quite in accordance with the usual thing.
The woman who SplatterS all of her dia-
monds over herself for breakfast at the
table of a seaside hotel hasn't time for
much else besides Cogitating on what kit
she's making.
when l took my first plunge in the
surf / anxiously locked about the leach
for the girl who laces herself for the joy
Gus abandonment of surf bathing until she
looks like a peripatetic hour-glass. found
her Hundreds If her. She were a wan.
worried expression. and she gazed envf-
ously at the frankly fat woman who Wad-
died elephantinely about in the water. UNI
stayed, and wearing bathing suits that
looked like tarpaulins. I'd have been fag-
ged for fair so far as concerned any en-
jCyment on this vacation If hadn't caught
immediate sight of the girl who laces Fer
self overwhelmingly for sea bathing She
an essential part CT the picture. and will
always be.
1t Was All Right.
Before emerging from that first plunge
a feeling began to steal over me that
something or other was wrong-something
was missing to make it all seem natural.
l ploughed my mind to find out what 1t
was that filled me with that gone feel
ing and it came to me all of a sudden.
What l needed was. while sitting on the
sand, to have party Of about five
raucOuS-voict young male Idiots begin to
engage in horse play right around me- and
shed water on me from their dripping suits
and kick sand in my eyes, and so on. L
sat down on the sand and inside of half a
minute 1t was all Strengthened out. There
were seven of the bowling idiots, however.
They began to scuffle right near me, and
to wrestle and slap and maui each other,
and throw the sand around like stranded
whales, and to sprinkle down everybody, in
bathing suits or out of them, within
radious of fifteen feet. Then felt better.
A surf bath wouldn't feel like the same
old thing to me did not embody this newt
able feature of being imposed upon by
band of horse-playfng lunatics on the
beach.
The wide-grinnfng. weak-chinned young
father of a year-old infant was on the
beach in numbers. too. and he went
through his usual stunts with the young
one, just like he's always gone through
them. He picked up the shouting. SILVER
ing little unfortunate and rushed into the
foaming surge with it. and threw water on
it. and ducked it, and made it's tender life
perfectly wretched, and worked 1t onto
the verge OF Mysteries and all the time he
grinned gieefuIly over the torture he was
inf1cting upon his offspring and yelled
frantically to mamma on the beach to
look and see the baby swim! wouldn't sub
ject bat-eared pull pup to the misery that
the pinheaded fathers OF yearling infants
subject the young ones to when they get
them near the deep blue sea, but never
theless this person with bees instead of
brains behind his ears Is regular part OF
the game. and 1 wouldn't feel like I'd got
my moneys worth Ii I hadn't found him
making nuisance of himself on the strand
Of yore.
Both ON Hand.
1.-THE huge-limbed rhinoceros sort Of a
male creature who goes In bathing with
delicate-looking little woman, his wife or
his sister or somebody else's sister, and en-
tees her out to where the water is up to
her chin, or drags her out there by main
force and then ducks her until she has
swallowed enough salt water to float a
man-o'-war model and Is speechiess with
fear and palpitati0n of the heart-tl1is gay
boy was in the water in punches. as usual
He laughed rollickingly over the mental
and physical suffering he inflicted upon his
victim under the pretext of fun, and was
in just about the same need of the swift
application of a spiked sIap-stick as he al
ways has been
she is drowning when she happens to slip
and to fall into eight inches of water was
in bathing, too-lots of her. 1t took, as 1t
always does. the heroic efforts Of two
strapping coast CARDS to lift her, as she
struggled franticaily, out of the eight
inches of purling water that could hardly
have drowned a kitten with brick tied
around its neck, but she was confident that
she had been rescued from a Watery grave
and fastened to her bath room as soon as
she was able to sit UP, vowing and declar-
ing that shed never trust herself in the
cruel Vastly deep again as long as she lived
l wouldn't have felt right II hadn't seen
her, either.
According to Program.
1.-THE real chesty strong boy. who always
swims way out beyond the breaker line
in order to show the girls on the beach
what a daring, devil-may-care proposition
he is, was there, too. and one Of him, as
usual. was dragged out of the water by
couple Of coast guards when he was so
near being an unpleasant looking drowned
object that there wasn't any Joy In 1t for
him. When the life savers had pounded
him and worked him arms and rolled him
over an old barrel and thus gradually
yanked him back when he was more than
three-quarters of the journey across the
Styx, he didn't look little bit strong or
chesty, and he crawied away toward his
bath room with his shoulders slouched for
ward. picture of mournful chagrin
There wouldn't be any fun at all in COM
ing down to the seashore for me IL wasn't
afforded the treat of seeing the imbeciIity
soaked out of at least one of these real
strong, beyond chaps who i'm
AGNES it to be his mission in life to give
the dawders on the sand treat in the
way of a swimming exhibition.
1.-The large husky-looking, 200-pound wo-
men, who looked healthy enough to do a
days washing, and then follow a secretly
moving army on a forced march Of thirty
miles over night, were, as usual, having
themselves perambulated up and down the
board walk in those sedan chairs with
wheels On EN-. They iolled back in the
things and struggled hard to put on that
interesting invalid look, but their plethora
of adipose and rosy cheeks were against
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