St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1901-07-06

tangled sort of magic lantern show
out there also, which they call a
vitagraph-'pon my word that
was fine. ana they show about a
dozen pictures. The first one was
a picture of a battle and you could
see the guns and cannons just a
firing, and you could see the blaze
from the cannon. Of course l
didn't know anything about hit,
and l thought it surely was true
battle. just yelled out and grab
bed my 'brella and started to run
away, as 1 didn't go out to fight.
Well, l just kept a running with
my eyes vide open, but | couldn't
see a thing, and what do You think
| did? fell into that canal where
the schooners go through, and l
was so scared l didn't know l was
IN water until | was way in by the
grave yards, when a policeman
pulled me out the water and pulled
me in the Jail house. Of course
next morning | was tried before
the judge for sturbing the peace,
but he was nice man and asked
me how it happened, and l told
him. "Well,'' he says "Ruben,
you are discharged, but the next
time you come to town you had
better bring chaperon with you"
Of course ] shook his haud-why
shouldn't The knew me. Say,
Cynthia, look in the dictionaryand
see what chaperon means, and let
me know, SO l can buy one of
those things on Canal street.
Well, last night l went ont to
Athletic Park, and | don't think
will go anywhere now until | go
home, cause think am getting
too popular, and they may want
me to take position IN the town
hall or the mint. Why, l even
can't walk in the streets without
people bowling and smiling and
mentioning my name. Well, |
went out TO that park, and ! tell
you it was something worth seeing
all lectric lights. Fact is, the
policeman told me there was a
million and half lights, and |
was Just starting to count them
when tina: big window shade went
up on the stage. Hully Gee, but
that was pretty. You know there's
an opery company singing out
there, and the only thing | didn't
like was all those young girls with
them short dresses on, cause they re
liable to catch a bad cold that way,
and they're all SO nice and they all
know me. OF course spent lit
tie money out there, as | wanted
to hear everything, and l am glad
| did, cause they sang a nice song
just dedicated to me-who'd be-
lieve that got so popular In four
weeks time. Well,.I spent 20
cents for preserved seat and just
enjoyed 1t, and oh, my, when they |
sang | just stood on my chair and
laughed until my side ached. The
name of the song was "When
Reuben Comes TO Town. Well
l just waited until it was over and
took most of the girls TO Canal
street and bought them some sody |
water and pop corn-why shouldn't
they knew me.
| forgot to mention that there's
a pond ont there all lit with lectric
lights, with All oil gusher in the
middle, and three white turkeys
swimming in it. | would like to
get one like them 10 eat all The
water hyacinths at home.
Say, Cynthia, them people down
here think all people from the
country are hayseeds, but showed
them | wasn't. Them fellers at
the boarding house thought would
blow out the gas, but | amt that
green, as Issead about that in the
papers; but they had one of those
lectric Lights in the room. Of
course | did not know how to put
them ont, SO what do you think
did: l unscrewed the globe and
put it under my pillow. They
think they are smart, but they
amt; now you know what | am
going to do? I'm gong to take
that lamp home and hang it to a
piece of wire from the ceiling in
my best room and have lectric
light too, as you know they will
burn as long as you have them
fastened to wire-anyway that's
what the policeman told me.
l must now close, as | heard
there is fire on Canal street, and
want to see if they use a bucket
brigade, or if they have nice
hand engine. Your Nelghbor,
RUBEN HAYSEED.
p. S.-Thank God l am back
from that fire. You should have