The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1901-03-27
THE GOOSE CORNER FRoLIc.
BY CLARA AUGUSTA

per afterward.
It's quite spell sense I've tripped
the eight fantastic" to any extent,
for that er rhumatiz of mine has
pritty well knocked all the gimp out
of me. But this time, lots of mid
die aged folks was goin', an Ezry
he was besot to 60, too.
"Land O Goshen says I, pr'ety
fgger you'd cut over there, with them
corns of yourn stickin' out through
them holes in yer boots" says l. for
Ezry's got corns SO bad that he's had
to cut holes into his boots an shoes
SOS they can bulge through an ii
you happen to come within an acre
of ground of hittin' of them, he's
mad enough an deoomposed enough
to raise the ruff.
ga pritty fgger," says I, you'd be
with them holes into yer boots, an
like as not you'd be took with a ma.
larry ft, an shake so you'd make the
winders rattle?'
81 don't care cent" says Ezry.
sswhether I'm took with her or not,
I'm a goin' over to that are dance ii
nv hair holds OIL! Blame it all, Betsy,
you'd never let a feller go anywheres
if you could help it! An, ss for the
holes into my boots, I'll wear black
stockin's, an in the evenin' who's
goin' to notice my feet? Especially
if I jest touch up the holes with q
little varnish, SOS to make the stock
ms look like luthel!"
WALL" says I, ''all I've got to say is
if anybody should step onto any OF
them corns Of yourn, you'll have to
grin and bear it, an not dance round
an swear as you do to home when
anything of that kind happens.
''Them corns is my own," says he,
an I've right to do as I please with
'em. An if pritty girl should hap
pen to step onto 'em, it would be
very different to what it is to have an
old woman that weighs a hundred an
seyenty-fve treadin' onto 'em," says
he, an he went out of the door lively,
for he knows we'll enough that il
there's anything that Tn specially
techy about it's my heft.
I hate to be twitted aboutit. Who's
to blame for my bein' so hefty9 That's
what I'd like to knows Nobody wants
to weigh two hundred, that l know
Of, but how in mater is it to be pre-
vented if it gifts comin's I've took
aunty fat an aunty lean, an Nobesty
pills, an Killcorpulency bitters by the
quart, but they didn't do me any
more good than so much dish water.
I've let alone eating taters squash
es an bile dinners, and sugar things
ginearally, an I've lived onlean meat
an wheat bran, but I got fstter than
ever, an my stomach felt as mean as
the insides of an empty merlasses
hoggsett-
An as for lacin' myself up to look
smaller, I amt a goin' to do no sech
of thing. I'm a goin' to have my
bigness in this world, if there's room
enough, jest as long as I stay here.
But Ezry hain't no call to twit me
with that bigness.
Wall, when I found how sot he was
on goin' to the dancin' party, !
thought I wouldn't say nothin' more
agin it. So I bushed up his Sunday
clothes, and made him a necktie out
of one of Ann Mariah's old silk
handkerchers, an I bought him
stand up collar at the store, an I
hunted up an old pair of pumps for
myself to wear. but lands sake! I
could'n git my feet nowhere anighst
them. Strange, how anybody's feet
do grow and swell out arter they're
cld-no not exactly old but kinder
middle aged.
Ezry he fixed his boots an stock
in's, SOS he thought nobody would
notice 'em, an he got him new COL
lar button at Scents counter of MIR.
Browns store, an he felt as kinky an
pert as a young Plymouth Rock
rooster.
"By Jinks, Betsy" says he, Il feel
as if I could swing leg with the
best of 'em"
"Ob, pa" says Ann Mariab, ''don't
be so awfully vulgar. Say limb, in
stead of-of the other thing you said"
"I said leg, an I mean IT," says
Ezry, san I hain't felt so young for
twenty year as I do now, jest g.