davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
shreyyd Thievcry.

Americans who so abroad must ex-
pcct to be robbed right and left" said
Il young man who recently returned
from a brief European tour. zone ex-
poets to be held up for all sorts of tips,
but when the beggars follow you home
YOU can't help feeling Il sort of admira-
ton for their ingenuity.
II went over on one of the Red Star
line boats, and the first thing l did on
landing ut Antwerp was to go to the
cable office and send message to my
mother announcing my safe arrival.
paid the toll and thought no more
about 1T until got homc when among
my mail found letter from the Ant
werp operator, addressed in care of my
mother, saying that through an error
he had not charged me enough for my
cablegram sent on such and such n
date, that he had bccn obliged to pay
the difference out of his own pocket,
and rs his salary was very small and
he had large family and all that sort
of thing he felt sure would reimburse
him.
''The amount was tritling one, and
did send him a foreign money order.
have since learned from experienced
travellers that had been made the
victim of a systematic form of robbery
and that scarcely cablegram is sent
from the other side unless it is Of q
business nature that Is not followed
by some such plea from the European
operator"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Rescnted the A1.eration,

Two men zigzagged unstcadily down
Long street the other morning shortly
after midnight. 1t was case Of unit
ed we stand, divided we fall" Each Of
course was trying to steer the other
safely home. At length No. came up
against pole and held fast. No. 2
tried in vain to pull him forward. Then
No. became impatient ut the others
obstinacy and spoke very frankly:
Shay, you're-hic-y slump
thash what you are! I've seen worse
men 'n-hic-you in jailv'
This was more than No 2 could
stand. He felt that his honor as a gem
tleman had been sullied, and, bracing
himself stlily, he replied, with spirit:
"If YOU shay you've-hic-seen worse
men IN me in Jail, why-hic-you're
liar, thash what you arew-Ohio State
Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Near the Ponninr Point.

"Mary," said her father, "you have
been keeping company with that
Mitchell follow for more than year
now. This courtship must come to a
termination"
ooh, father, how can you talk so?
lie is, oh, SO sweet and liccw
"Ahw And the fond father archcd
his eyebrows. "Swcct and nice, CHI!
Has lie proposed"
well, fathcr not exactly" And the
girl hung her head and fingered the
drapcry of her dress. ''IIe hasn't ex-
actly proposed; but, then, last evening
when we were out walking we passed
by n nice little house. and he snld
That's the kind Of cottage Pm going to
live in some day. and said, Yes and
then he glanced at me and squeezed
my hand. Then, just as we got by, l
glanced back ut the cottage, and-anl
squeezed his handw
ooh, all, gee" said her father.
well, We'll try him another week or
two" ."-London Answers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Quaint Hannibal Hamlin.

To the day Of his death Hannibal
1amlin was figure that men would
turn and look at a second time OH tho
street. His tall form, which in old
age was but slightly bent, was always
clothed in the old fashioned black
swallowtail suit, and lie always wore
a tall silk hat, generally Il back num-
ber," tilted Slightly back on his head.
For years he was famous as man
who never Wore an ovcrcoat, and to
his death he never burdened himself
with that, to him, unnecessary gar
ment except on the most severely cold
days. For a half century he never
changed the style of his clothes. He
walked with a swinging gait and had
SO many friends and acquaintanccs to
whom he had to bow that smile seem
ed to be ever on his face.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Hold the Fort.

In October, 1864, Allatoona pass, n
defile in the mountains of Georgia, was
guarded by General Corse, with 1900
men. 1t was a strong. strategic point,
and, moreover, 100000 rations were
stored there. Iresich, the southern
general, with 5000 mcn, attacked the
garrison and drove the defenders into
u small fort OH the crest of the hill.
The battle was fierce. The northern
soldiers fell In such numbers that fur
thcr fighting seemed folly.
But one of Corse's officers caught
sight Of a white signal flag fluttering
in the breeze OH the top of the Kcnc-
saw mountain, across the valley, Is
miles away. The signal was answered,
and then came the inspiring message
from mountain to mountain: "IIold
the fort. l am coming.-W. 4. Sher-
man."
Cheer after cheer went up, and,
though hopelessly reduced in numbers.
they did hold the fort for hours until
the advance guard OF Shcrmans army
came to their relief. Six years later
Il. Il. Bliss, the evangelist, heard tho
story in all it's vivid detail from n SOL
dier friend and then wrote the words
and music Of his famous hymn.-prcs.
byteran.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
A Korean Prison.

The gate was wide open, and the
courtyard was full of prisoners, and the
surrounding buildings were old and
tottering. asked the chief, whom one
of the two or three llstless attendants
called for us, why the prisoners did
not run away. "Oh," he replied, "they
would lie caught and beaten again and
kept longer. Now they will get out
soon."
But rs 1 looked ut them saw they
did not run because they could not.
The life was beaten out of them. The
keepers brought the heavy red cord
with brass hook ut the end and
trussed up man with it to show how
the beating was done and then brought
us the stiff rods with which victims
were pounded over the shins and
thighs until the beaten spots We're SIM
ply masses of fostering rottcnness.
There was Il room, black, foul, leprous,
in which the men We're fastened In tho
stocks. The Black Hole Of Calcutta was
scarcely less mcrciful than this
Ladies' Monthly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Th., JnclScy'. Dorv.

"Yhe bogy Of Jockeys life Is tax
ing OH flesh," says Ainslee's. "He
breads this as a beauty breads to lose
her charms, and his whole thought
from the age Of 16 to 25 is to avoid the
catastrophe. This is the pernicious
feature of the life and distinguishes It
as hcalthful sport from boxing or
from football, in which the physical
being is developed according to the
laws Of nature and is not outraged or
balked. In order to reduce his weight
nine pounds Monk Overton once re-
muined in Turkish bath from 10 D.
M. one day until p. M. the next, with
no nourishment except O cup Of tea
and some toast.
again, Mike Bergen, mounted on
favorite, rode such Il poor race that tho
stewards came to the paddock to inyes-
tignte and punish him for fraudulent
riding. They forgave the performance.
however, when they found him col
that lie had to ride at a certain weight,
Bergen had spent 4S hours In Turk
ish bath, eating nothing whatever.
When he reached the track, he was SO
weak that n stimulant was necessary.
The one drink Of whisky he took SO
demoralized his faculties that he could
scarcely lieep his seat in the saddle.
Such a violation Of physical devel-
opment at the age when boy should
be most rapidly maturing makes it diff
ticult for jockey ever to become ro-
bust. Moreover, the mere riding of
race is terrible drain on the nerve
force of Jockey. A boy may lose
pound Of weight in hard race"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Did Not spenls with KnovI.arc.

3'AN ASOA SVcAA WIN hnOW1CUGCs
On a clear and beautiful Sunday
morning III n parish not far from Mil
waulSee a priest was pleased to note
the presence at service Of an unusual-
ly large number of the male members
of his congregation. and, since he had
been informed of considerable trouble
in his flock, he considered it an oppor-
tune time to give those present q
friendly, yet pointed, sermon on for.
bcarancc. He charged the men, pas.
ticularly the married men, to be ever
kind, courteous and considcrate to wo-
men, to overlook all opportunities for
trouble, to be good to them and So
licitous of their welfare, aud finished
with masterly peroration relating to
connubial decency on the part of hus-
bands.
Shortly after he met an old and re-
spectel member of the church and
said:
michael, was glad to see you ut
church Sunday. And how did you like
the scrmon2"
"Well, fnthcr," the old man answer
ed. "thc language was beautchiful. and
the delivery was foine; but, be jabbers.
father, If you was only married about
three months you'd tell different sto-
ry!"-NIilwnulce Sentinel.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
THE kUkLUx KHAN.
Whore and How the Famous BODY
NYnA Nrrnnixesi

When the civil war ended, the little
town Of Pulaski, Tenn, welcomed
band of young men who, though they
were veterans of hard fought fields,
were for the most part no older than
the mass Of college students In the
general poverty, the exhaustion, the
lack of heart, naturally prevalent
throughout the beaten south, young
rgs ha, mere lasure than was good
for them.
A southern country town, even in the
halcyon days before the war, was not
n particularly lively place, and Pulasil
In 1866 was doubtless rather tame to
fellows who had seen Pickett charge
at Gettysburg or galloped over the
country with Morgan and Wheeler. A
group of them assembled in a law office
one evening i'm May, 1866, were discuss
ing ways and means of having live
lier time. Some one suggested n club
or society. An organization with no
very definite aims was effected, and ut
a second meeting. a week later, names
were proposed and discussed. Some
one pronounced the Greek word kuklos,
meaning circle.
From kuklos to kulslux was an easy
whoever consults glossary
of college boys slang will not find it
strange-;.nd khan followed kuklux as
naturally as "dumpty" follows "hump-
ty." That the name meant nothing
whatever was Il recommendation, and
one can fancy what sort Of badinagc
would have followed suggestion that
in six years a committee of congress
would devote 13 volumes to the history
OF the movement that began in Pu-
laski law office and migrated later to a
deserted and half ruined house on the
outskirts of the village. Atlantic
Monthly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03

CARD PL.AYERS' CRAMP.
sgghat Once Happened to an Old Faro
DeDlcc,s Hand.

Dealers Hand.
Were you ever paralyzed?" said the
old timer
NO, and may the''- began the other.
"Well, you see that right hand? 1t
looks pretty good and strong and it is,
but for about three days once it was
deader than Il frostbitten tomato plant.
You know of course that used to
make my living playing cards, chiefly
dealing bank. There wasn't day I
didn't deal bank or in other games six
to eight hours day. Many a time I
have dealt or played longer.
cone night l was dealing bank 1t
was good, big game. All at once
when went to slip n card this old
right refused to work. l looked ut it
and the fingers We're kind of twisted
inward and the hand from the wrist
was bent downward.
'"This stopped the deal for me, and
sold the lookout to get busy for the
players We're getting a little 'quecred.'
He took my place, and watched the
bets.
81 rubbed my right, but it wouldn't
straighten out and it kept this way
until the next day, and then went to
a doctor. lie didn't know me as we'll
as you do, but the first question he
asked was:
Deal cards great deal, don't your
"'Yes.'
"'Do you deal with an elbow move
ment or With finger and wrist move
ment7"
"'Why, I don't work my elbow
"'rhat explains it. You have card
players paralysis
"'l'his hit me CENTER and showed it,
but the doctor was good and said:
"'Now, don't get furried. I'll
/ straighten YOU up. Just quit dealing
awhile, and Ill give your hand a few
doses of electricity, and you'll be all
right
"lIc did it, and in about three days
my hand was straight as a string. But
haven't dealt so much since. There's
many an old timer whose dealing hand
/ has quit him. And you say you were
never paralyzed?"
mo"
"Wcll, you amt played cards much"
Louisville Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
sonpsuds Dessert.

The tribes on the coast of British Co
lumbia hold q festival in the autumn.
the crowning item of which is the par
taking of few spoonfuls of bowl Of
soapsuds.
They gather in the dingy huts, which
are hung with the staple food-dried
salmon. For light they stick into the
ground, head downward, a silvcry fish
about five inches long, set fire to the
tail, and they have q torch, for the fish
burns steadily.
After eating Of various unsavory
foods there comes the great treat. This
Is bowl Of frothy, soapy mixture,
obtuined 10y crushing in a not elciNaa
manner the sapoliti. or soap berries,
md squeezing out the juice. This is rs
much like soapsuds as 1t is possible to
conceive. The natives sip it from
spoons of black wood, neatly carved,
of which they think u great deal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
The CAPTAIN of nm ocenn Liner.


Nowadays the captain is the host Of
the ship. He is no longer the grufr.
rough seadog in pea jacket of years
gone by. He must observe some Of the
social amenities; he must talk to the
passengers now and then when the
weather is fine; he must take his seat
Mt table when he may; he must be a
kind Of diplomat also and possess wit
and tact and a patience sublime; he
must see that no jealousics develop
among the passengers. l have been
told of the very obliging captain who,
to please the lady who asked to be
shown the equator while the ship was
in southern seas. pasted hair across
the large end OF spyglass and told the
lady to look. And the lady through tho
glass declared she could see the equa.
tor "as plainly as A 3 G." One other
polite captain have heard of-one who
directed an officer on the bridge to "do
as the lady wishes" whcnthe lady re-
questcd that the captain steer the ship
over to the horizon so she could see
what the horizon was likc.-Captain
Jameson in Golfers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Eielda of anlt.

At Salton. in southern California, ex-
lists n basin Of land between 200 and
200 feet below sea level. About 1000
acres of the depressed area are COW
tred with a deposit of salt. which e. Il.
Holden describes in The Scientific
American as one Of the sights of Call
1ornia. The salt is first thrown into
ridges by peculiarly shaped plow.
drawn by a dummy engine with ca.
bles. and then Is piled into conical
heaps before being carSied to the dry
ing house and crushing mill. The ex-
panse looks like field of snow. About
1000 tons Of salt are removed each
year, but the supply is perennially re-
ncwed by the deposits of salt springs
which flow into the basin. In June the
temperature of the air reaches $50 de-
grees. and only Indian workmen can
withstand the heat and glare.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Took No Chnncea.

"Ill tell you how 1t is. parson," said
the board Of trade clerk. you've mar
ried us, and you'll admit that 1t is q
good deal Of speculation. Now, III
pay you 50. the regular fee. now and
call it square or I'll wait 60 days and
pay you what experience teaches mo
the Job is really worth to me. even IL
it's $780,"
The clergyman looked long and ear
nestly Mt the energetic, determined
young woman and sighed.
Give me the So" he said.-Chicago
Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
DON'T Relieve All You Hear.

A man in a railway carriage was
snoring so loudly that his fellow pas
scngcrs decided to awake him. One
particularly sensitive old gentleman
shook up the sleeper with a start.
What's the matter?" he exclaimed.
"Why, your snoring is annoying ev-
cry one in the carriage" said the old
gentleman testify.
'IIow do you know I'm snoring2" /.
Why, we can't help but hear It."
well, don't believe all you hear"
replied the culprit and went to sleep
ngain.-London Standard.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Tiger. Make Believe Eyes.

Mr.. Beddard of the London Zoologi-
cal society calls attention to pecul.
iarlty Of the ears of tigers which he
thinks may be classed under the head
of protective markings" On the back
of each ear is very bright white spot.
and when the ears are directed for
ward these spots are conspicuous from
the front Mr.. Beddard suggests that
when the tiger is sleeping in the dim
light of n cave or thcket the spots on
fits ears may appear to an enemy. look
ing in, as the CLEAN of its watchful
eyes. and thus save the sleeper from an
unexpected attack.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Round to Enjoy Herself.

"Now, DEAR" said mamma, giving
final Instructions to Elsie, who Is going
to take tea with u playmate, "when you
are asked If you will have something,
you must say, Yes. thank you, and il
you don't want 1t you must say
"Oh, you needn't bother about that"
Elsie Interrupted. II don't expect to
refuse anything" g."-Philadelphia Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Fish Ayer.ion..

The celebrated Erasmus, although a
native of Rotterdam, had such an aver
sion to fish that the smell of it threw
him into fever. Ambrose Pare had n
patient who could never see an eel
without fainting and another who
would fan into convulsions at the sight
Of carp.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Comets Of the Past ccntury.

During the nineteenth century 235
new comets were discovered as against
B2 in the eighteenth century. The
nineteenth century also beheld a great
er number of large and brilliant COM
cts than did its predecessor. The finest
Of these were the comets Of 1911, 1913.
1853, 1881 and 1882 In the year 1900
only one periodical comet was known,
Halley's. Now many are known. OF
which at least II have been seen ut
more than one return to perihelion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Tho cb,nn,nnn.a prcss.

Those who understand the subject
have to admit that when 1t comes to
the question of rational dress the Chi
naman has very much the best Of 1t.
American clothes are not made for the
performance of much STOPPING or do
mcstic gymnastics, but the Chinaman,
In his loose, easy fitting clothes, is rs
free to stoop, jump, run or turn hasd-
springs as small boy In bathing. In
q Chinese suit Of clothes you can lie
down and sleep with the same amount
Of comfort that you can stand UP and
walk.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
10th Trained.

Little Edith had been very Ill, but
was convalescent. Waking up sudden
ly and finding a strange lady at her
bedside. she asked. Are you the doc
torp
"No. DEAR" replied the lady; "1'm
your trained nurse"
"Oh," exclaimed Edith, pointing to a
cage hanging near the window, 'train-
ed nurse, let me introduce YOU to my
trained canaryw
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
A seriou. Complaint.

What made you leave your place VIII
dat gemman" asked Miss Miami
Brown. "Didn't he pay you right?"
"Yes," answered Mr.. Erastus Pink
ley. "Hc paid fus' rate, but his clothes
was so out Of style dat l was almost
fohced to keep out of society."-Wash-
ington Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
They Hadn't Made Up.

"Well," said he, anxious to patch up
their quarrel Of yesterday, "aren't you
curious to know what's in the pack
age"
Not very." his wife, still unrelent-
ing, replied indifferently.
ITS something for the one love
best in all the world.''
"Ah, suppose it's those suspenders
you said you Observation-Disclosures
Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
The Wisdom of Experiences.

When was 20. thought was 40;
when was 80 thought l. was So;
when was 40 thought l was %.
and when | was so l wondered If they
were going to bring in the high chair
at the table and give me the bottle
w. w. Goodwin, Retiring Harvard
Professor. at Dinner In His Honor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
No Dimcu1ty,

Phillips Brooks once gave new YER
sion of the Jonah story to wondering
ekeptic, who said he doubted whether
a whales throat was large enough to
swallow JONAH "There was no diff
Guilty." said the bishop; "Jonah was one
of the minor prophets"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Not a Success.

IT warn you," he said threateningly,
"to keep away from Miss Billion. I've
been making love to her myself"
"IIavc you, rcally?" replied his rival.
"Well, she'll be glad to have the mat
ter cleared up"
Cleared up! What do you meanY
"Why, she said she thought that's
what you'd been trying to do, but she
wasn't surc."-Chicago Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
A Long WHIT.

Katrne-I was reading this morning
Of man who cooked his own break
fast for 10 years.
Max-He must have been very hun
cry when he finally got 1t DONE
Bombe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03
Two Faced Babies.

"Not that deceit is q born instinct.
but some babies must be two faced in
the cradle"
ooh, that's not possible"
looks like its rich nunt when she comes
on visit and is the exact image of Its
rich uncle when he happens to be
there."-Exchangc
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03

The only two great European capitals
that never have been occupied by
foreign foe are London aud St Peters
burg.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03

A medical Journal declares that len
ills are not only richer in proteids than
peas or beans, but are also more
digestible.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03

What man lacks in his head he
must make up in his legs.-Atchison
Globe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-10-03

Waited For the Appropriation.
Yes, he has cut loose the dogs Of
war;"
what was holding them back?"
'"The sinews." s."-Cleveland Plain Deal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-08-28
FIFTH YEAR IN KANSAS
nSIEoPAIHlc PHYSICIANS

OSTEOPATHlC PHYSICIANS
--~-~-~---0--------~-
Directory CT Graduates OF Reputable
Schools OF Osteopathy.
DR.. BERTHE BRISCOE,
Rooms so.-S02 Sedgwick block OSce
hours. 70 L and TO 3. Closed after
noon Monday. Wednesday and Friday.
DR.. c. O. SHOEMAKER.
The Piazza. % North Lawrence ave-
nue.. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
E 3 MILFORD. D. O.. NJ D..
Suite = scheetz building. phone ST.
Residence, &c St Francis. phone Ssl-3-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-08-28
MAJ HELP wANrEn

UANTED-Positton as cook IA south
LT1porla- S5-6tx
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-08-28
cIsiRvovaN


ca Fk .1F An r. sisl----l L1--e - lcH
5ocacel * tze NsE Plaz-a, y. Lzwre-cs
aveuUs- LIZ
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-08-28
Or. JIM. Shuts
Specialist

n Me6lca. Surgi-
cal and Electrical
treatment G. al
Chrouic. Nervous.
Skin and prfvats
eases, nae ard
female CEce 80
North Nan street