The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-01-20
CRAzED RY THINKING
he WAS A MURDERER
New York JournaID

How it seems for an innocent man,
/ who is troubled by the belief that ne
has slain another, to wander for nearly
[ three weeks as a fugitive from justice,
is well told in the following statement
/ by Horace Welch. a sober and honest
merchant of Paterson. \. }.
Welch struck a man believing that
his own life was in danger. The man
fell, stunned, but not seriously injured
by the blow. but fellow workmen, in
cruel joke, subsequently told WEIGH
/ that his victim was dead, and it was
only after weeks of torture that he
{ learned from his wife who found him
crippled. and in a hospital, as the re-
suit of a fall in a barn where he had
hidden, that he was no murderer
They all think ] was fleeing from the
law, but ] was not. 1 was trying to flee
from myself I was half crazy. If I had
stopped to think / would have gone at
once to the police station, but l had not
the power to reason The only thing
that l thought a bout was that the blood
of a felloWman was on my head To
myself I cried d million times. I could
not help il, but that. did not seem TO
bring any consolation. The fear came
over me that I was going insane, and
the thought is the most awful that can
ever come to the mind Of man, l tried
to. test my sanity. 1 would run and
jump and then stand still and say to
myself: why, L know what / am do
lingty Then I wondered why I did that.
All the torrents and sorrows that a
person can have; all the grief that the
heart can bear, is nothing to the
I thought of a sane man believing that
he is going mad.
In the horror of that thought I for
set why l was wandering but some
impulse kept me going. dreaded the
sight of man and hid often L did not
always take the best road; in fact, 1
chose the NOSE unfrequented one gem
orally.
/ can. hardly tell why I went in the
direction of MorristOwn, and 1 am sure
1 can never tell the way L went or
what happened to me. 1t is all like
terrible dream, but it is more horrible
than any nightmare.
remember getting to Little Falls
L walked on d mere autOmation in the
hands of some evil spirit that seemed
to be controlling me When L got to
Little Fails I took a long circuit That
night l slept or rather lay q couple OF
I hours in a clump of bushes Next day
I walked on and on and the first thing
that / recognized that brought me into
a cold sweat was the sight of the We
roma asylum.
For a moment it seemed to me that
/ had been led there by some design
ing Demon and I ran from that asylum
as | would from death. About a mile
3 Oh the OLIlEE size OF the tOAh 4 CIEflL
/ into an old deserted house. and, luck
/ lily. the running and walking had ex-
! hausted me so that / slept for awhile,
/ I do not know how long.
/ When l aWOke I was hungry, very
! hungry. l had a little change in my
J pocket and felt secure in going to a
farm house that stood away back. The
! woman received me kindly and I had
good milk and bread. 1t tasted better
4 than anything that L ever had before
| and l felt so changed that two or three
/ times I had it on the tip of my tongue
I TO tell her all my troubles and ask her
! advice. but the same influence that in
duced me to leave Paterson kept mo
/ from opening my mouth.
| 4 know now that if I had told that
/ kindly old farm wife that I would have
I felt better and that / would have re-
turned to Paterson without fear. even
/ though / then believed the stories of
I the men in the shop and thought that
I the man who | had struck was dead.
! But did not seem to want to tell her
/ and I suffered dearly for keeping quiet.
I After that breakfast I wandered on
/ like man in a trance l did not know
( why; | did not then feel afraid. / felt
I that 1 would as soon walk back as for
7 ward, but somehow or other I pushed
on. Gradually the old fear seized me.
/ Then l became like a hunted beast.
struggled against il and did all / could
| to resist it. ] knew 1 was foolish. but
l was pOwerless. A timid girl walking
/ through a graveyard at night, though
she knows there are no ghosts. is just
as much afraid as if she really saw
one. So it was with me.
The weather was bitterly cold. and
/ think the cold and exposure made
me reader to give way to all kinds OF
fear. 1t was dreadful. 1 hate to recall
It.
= passed Caldwell and slept in some
hay that a farmer was going to haul
J to Newark. The next day ] lay and
thought there, and was a dozen times
on the verge of starting back again and
returning to Paterson
L still had some money left, scarcely
dollar. but the farmers for a nickel
gave me all the milk l wanted to drink
and bread for the same amount.
wondered all the time if there was no
1 mark about me to let them Know that
| had blood on my head. I felt that ]
bore the mark of Cain and that every
one knew it.
Il was in the habit of speaking to
myself and asking if 1 was Horace
| WEIGH, the machinist who feared nc
one and went and came to his work 50
regular that the neighbOrs said they
could set their clocks by him The
! farmer came one day and took the hay
away, and J wandered on till ] came in
the suhilnhv Of TjvinEstnna' if was a