Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1901-08-22
Experience with a Family Paper.

~R 80 $50 1Ss 9C~OtOCa A0A
ssked svmpathetic neighbor.
"Ain't nowheres else to set, /" re.
piled Mr. Stebbins, gloomily.
"Whas's the troable Folks
cleaning house 20
"Nope. Too much literatoor, %
groaned Mr.. Stebbius. "You see,
twas about fonr months ago,
reckon" he vent on, seeming glad
of . chance 70 talk. ssthat real
pretty iunercsnt-ief ling girl came
along a.hanting subscribers fer q
sort of O family paper, says she,
With something in it for everybody
round the place. Ways for the wo-
men to fix mp the house and cook.
Ways fer men to do business hon.
est and successful. Ways fer the
girls to make sofy pillers and fur
niture without any expense. Ways
fer the babies to cut teeth and be
fed and get took care of and learnt
manners. And best of all, ways
fer the boys to amuse themselves
by making things out of nothing.
"We hadn't no babies to be learnt
to cut teeth, but we did hev two
growed up girls and three boys. II
seemed an awful lot to get jest fer
one dollar; so, dummed ijit thet
was, l up and subscribed fer the pa
per.
"The fust number wasn't long
in coming; and when see them ell
trying to read it at once, aud how
pleased they was, | felt like one of
them pilanthropusts.
"Well, sir, there was a pictur on
the very fust page of q thIngumbog
they called cosy corner, and
blame me, il them women didn't
60 to work and make one fer every
last corner in the house. They
made them of boards and cracker.
boxes, and kivered them with rufles
of fancy cslliker till they looked as
soft and downy as q snow-drift in
January; but il they'd have made
them cosy corners of cast iron and
upholstered them with carpet tacks,
pints up, they couldn't have been
much worse to set on. This here
stone horse blocks O feather bed
compared to them cosy corners.
That's one reason I'm a-setting ont
here. Another is I'm a-trying to
get up nappytite fer my victuals.
"That there paper had pictures
Of all kinds of victuals did up fan.
cy fer the table; and by gum them
pictures looked good enough to eat.
But the victusls themselves ! Gosh!
Fer instance, I'm real fond of plain
boiled Hubbard squash; but after
reading that there paper and see-
ing them pictures. nothing would
do but the hull blamed squash had
to come on the table, with the raw
shell fer a dish, the stem fer the
handle Of the kiver, and the inside
all fixed mp fancy with unknown
ingrejents that made Teller dream
hijous dreams after he'd ct them.
"But the way that paper struck
them three boys was the worst.
Gee whiz They was feller writ
piece about having a circus in the
attic, an If that didn't Jest hit them
boys. Fer four days they was g.
hammerIng and s-sawing and q.
rigging up ropes. They stole all
their maw's clothes line and most
of the neighbors' into the bargain,
and they did have q circus. Then,
jest as we was getting used to hav-
ing raft Of boys racing up stairs
to the attic and to having chunks
Of plaster drop of of the ceiling
onto our unsuspecting heads, an
other of them doggssted papers
come and stirred things up again.
"There was recipes fer some
more of them backtwisting things.
but they called them ingle hooks
this time; some more pizeu victu-
ais fer the women to cook and fer
me to eat; and fer the boys direc-
tions fer making a workshop in the
cellar.
"rhem drafted boys sawed the
handle of the hoe and the pitch.
fork to make q tool-rack; cut up
the barn door fer q work bench,
and spent all the money in the their
missionary box fer nails.
"Things went along that say fel
about four weeks, and then anoth.
er one Of them papers come. The
women fell to making easy chair.
out Of barrells-I'm lame in every