The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-09-13
SPINNING WHEEL.
WHEN IA BEGINS TO SHORE.

WHEN Pa BEGINS TO SHORE.
My Pas got somepin' in his nose that's
fastened there to stay,
That all the neighb0rs wishes he would
lose CT give away.
Some sort O bellerin' affair, like bulls has
in their throats,
Or l 61avs ng rn bass horn except it never
Ma says it's sleepin on his back, he says
it is katarr,
But you can bet your bloomin' life what
It's there fur dom bizness, an it does it,
too, fur sure,
AS all the neighborhood kin tell when
la begins to snOrc!
Ma says if she'd a ever knowed that he
was SIGH fright
A try'n' to Skeer the Twin out an rise the
dead ut night,
Shed never have consented fur to be his
lOvin' wife
AN share his sorrers an his joys an lead
sleep'ess life.
It's hard on me the same as her, fur when
A., l git asleep n+ou ,o,, o,+ n +,o
forest deep,
feel my hair ii r'lsin' up to hear lion
roar
An then wake up in fright to hear it's
Pa begun to snOre!
Ma says that someday when we git to
heaven afterwhile
Where every proSpeck's goln' to please an
only man be vile.
If people there is jest the same as people
here below.
She can't imagine how she's goin' to bear
the load O. woe!
She thinks that at the usual time up there
amongst the blest
The angels II be broken o. their sweet
SeleSchul rest
An tumble round while an then git up
an walk the floor
An wish bed never bin redeemed when
Pa begins to snore!
james Barton Adams in Denver Post
Flashing with silk and satin and spark
ling with diamonds, she swept into the
brokers' office, Il creature of fashion and
society, patrician from the tip OF her
ostrich feather hat to the sole of her
'Id like to buy some stock" she said
sweetly as the broker came forward.
"My husband, Mr.. NJ, is your GUS
TONER
Yes, to be sure" said the broker;
what stock do you wish"'
'Why, just Stock she answered
vaguely.
II KNOW he responded patiently, ''but
there are many stockS-'
''Oh, are there? OF course" she asked
and answered in breath. 'Why, let me
See,' and she bit the end of her glove
pcnsvely. II think it was some sort OF
metal
eyes. that's it," she exclaimed delight
cdly. "Get me some.'
''Well. there is common and preferred.
which do yom wish? l should suggest
the common
"Mr. - the idea;'' she burst forth
angrily. II have always been accus-
toned to the best and l still want it. |
wish no common stock, and I am aston
ishr1 that you should even hint at such
an idea"
But" he began helplessly.
II want the very best stock there is.
don't care what it costs, and if you
care to insult me by offering to buy poor
stock I shall 80 elsewhere. Common,
ugh' And in Il fit of virtuous indigna-
ton she blazed out Of the oftice-Ncw
York Times
Gotham-"I asked that downtown po-
lice captain if his wife. put all the
money he got on her back"
Church-'What did he Say:"
Said some Of it went higher up''
What did he mean?'
HE meant that she spent much of it
for hornets. '-Yonkers Statesman.
\ well-known countess was announced
to speak at Il cOsters' gathering in the
east end recently, so the little daughter
Of one of the coSterS-a flower seller
her arrival with a beautiful bouquet
The evening arrived, with an cnth,si-
a>tlr audience in the hall, and presently
the countess was announced.
The little girl, who had been coached
as to what to say, walked along the
platform, to whore her ladyship stood.
and in her confusion convulscd every
one with laughter by shouting out:
Ere yer are, mum. Only a penny 4
bunch-markct bunch for il penny
The countess smiled. accepted the
flowers, and the child got the penny
London Spare Moments.
TesS-..O: yes, I'm positive she's TWEEN
ty-cight.'
in their family Bible, eh?" ~
TesS-"Rctter than that. l asked her
at what age she thought a girl should
marry. and she promptly said twenty
eight. "-Philadephia Press.
The following story is told by one of
the English soldiers recently returned to
this country who were sent to Aus
tralasia with the British troops to take
part in the inauguration of the common
wealth by the Duke of Cornwall and
York:
AT Dunedin we were hilletcd on some
Of the hulSrholucrS. | was pat ND with
mddlr-aged couple and their two big
sons. Soon after got to the house the
dad said: I must tell You that this
is IL prohibition house. and we have no
strong drink ON the Premises l bore
up and said it wlS all right.
after tea the dad asked me if I'd like
to look over the house. l went, and a.
soon as we were in quiet corner the dad
pulls out Il bottle and asks me to have il
nip: hut he told me not to mention it to
his wife or the boys
I'VE went back. and the wife said she'd
show me my room. When we got in the
passage she whispered: Don't let dad
and the boys know. hut I've GOT Il wee
drappie put by for you. and YOU can have
4 nip whenever you want it,
after a short yarn with all the family
again. the boys said: Perhaps you'd like
to have a look ut our workshop in the
yard:' I would says l. and out we
goes RleSt if the boys didn't sneak me
into their room, make me swear
wouldn't tell dad or mother, and then l
had another Cne'
Emily Wakcman. who plays the cratic
spinstcr in Lovers Lane tells quaint
yarn about a morning spent in New
England school last summer when she
Was unearthing character studies \
small HOY blew in lote and tho TO-, chor