The Washington times., 1901-10-13
THE ART OF THE CRATER.
Strange Devices of Which the I'm
sophisticated Are Victims.
Much Ingenuity Used I'm Their De-
signinG-Men who Live Through
the Creduiity of Mankind-An In
stance of the Bogus Dollar Scheme.

signinG-Men who Live Through
the Creduiity of Mnnkind-An In
stance of the Bogus Dollar Scheme.
Graft is the generic term for that
endless variety of human effort directed
| to the painless separation of the other
| fellow from his money. Its professors are
'grafters, whose energies are directed
along the broad lines laid down in two
well-established figures of speech
l. That fool and his money are soon
parted
2. That a sucker is born every second.
Graft" as a matter of course. is OPP
Grated on a zigzag. AS n consequence its
followers get many hard knocks on the
angles. Today they may be living on the
sunny side Of Easy Street. tomorrow they
may be hitting the ties to the nearest wa
ter tank. Their nemesis Is a matter OF
| uncertainty; few were born to graft.
| though many have chosen A superficial
study of any grafters one may happen to
know, will lead to the conclusion that the
| CRATER of today was the sucker OF
yesterday. He has learned by experience
how easily graft" is worked.
The sucker once turned CRATER" his
future depends very largely upon his NOR
home" Providing he has neither. he will
most probably work on lines that con-
fict with the law II he is lucky enough
to escape the penitentiary. he may. after
decade or two of intelligent effort, be sent
| to Congress or join with other equally
| successful ''grafters' and form a trust to
which a world must pay tribute.
If, on the other hand. the newly fiedged
CRATER" has a shred Of morality and
some lingering hope of better days,
the chances are 100 to Y tnat he will con-
fine his newly found energies to that most
heartrending of efforts, keeping up ap-
pearances.
No one needs-a binoeular to see his fin
ish. About the time he has worn out the
seat of one pair of trousers warming sa-
loon chairs he has become an unwelcOme
guest in the gilded palaces of drink Bar
tenders look the other way when he ap-
proaches, acquaintances of his palmy
days become deeply absorbed in each 9TH
er's conversation should he drop in while
they are taking drink: the Chinese por-
ter begins clearing off the free lunch
when he heaves in sight; he realizes then
that he is getting up against it.
His last hope Of better days has fed;
only the shred OF morality is left. That
may keep him from becoming a criminal,
maybe. too. develop into a bum. Still,
with it all, this style of CRATER is not
bad fellow. He is homeless and occa-
| sionally he contributes to the gayety OF
nations. For instance:
| Six thirsty grafters stood one afternoon
| on Market Street sidewalk. All were
| thirsty; none had the price, credit was
out of the question. They were discuss
iuo and and w II cotrId
be seen that they had hit upon some
course of action. One broke away from
the bunch and few seconds Liter he en-
| tered a saloon few doors below. The
| bartender was alone.
Have you seen Bill Smith," asked the
CRATER.
Nope" was the reply.
That's tough said the CRATER. I've
got dollar here for him and I've got to
catch the boat"
why don't you leave it for him?" said
the bartender. Hes in and out of here
half dozen times a day.
The CRATER Jumped at the chance In
| fact he had intended, had not the bar
tender made the suggestion, to make it
himself.
"of course" he exclaimed. that's just
the ticket Gimme an envelope"
He was accommodated. Writing the
name. Bill Smith," on the envelope, he
enclosed a dollar in the presence of the
| bartender and sealed the packet
See that Bill gets that as soon as he
comes in" he said. He needs the money
pretty badly"
'All right" was the reply, and the
| CRATER went out to rejoin his companions
| on the sidewalk.
/
pleasant news. They all smiled. two or
three OF them clapping their hands on
the back of the identical Bill Smith for
whom CRATER No l had left the envelope.
| A few minutes later "Bil Smith left
the bunch and disappeared within the
doorway of the saloon where the envelope
was awaiting him. Others of the bunch
followed slowly after, taking up easy po-
| sitions outside the door of the wet goods
emporium. CRATER No. l seemed to have
business III another direction.
Hello, said Bill to the bartender.
Has anybody been asking for me?"
Yep" was the reply. What s-his-
name WIS in a little while ago and left a
| dollar for you"
What: For me? dollar for met
exclaimed Smith. Say. this amt April
fool"
We'll. here it is" said the bartender.
handing out the envelope
Sure enough" said Smith. feeling the
coin inside, following this up by hitting
the money laden envelope on the bar.
who says 1 amt lucky? 1 guess I've
| got drink coming and 1 never drink
alone"
| Out he went through the swinging doors
and a second later his voice could be
heard addressing the others of the bunch
i've got money from home, fellers."
the bartender heard him say. Have one
on me"
And five of them troOped N after him.
All ordered whisky.
Somebody's left me COIN" Smith con-
| tinued L don't know who he is or why
he did it, but here it is and it all goes"
| And the metallic sound the envelope
gave out as he tapped it on the bar lent
/ corroboration to his words.
| Then everybody drank and Smith, tear
ing open the envelope. passed the coin
| over to the bartender. That functionary
had rung up the price and was about TO
put the doller in the register and hand
out the change. Instead he stopped as if
someone had hit him.
Say, you" he exclaimed, this dollars
no good-its bogus"
| Bogus, is it?" exclaimed Smith in evi-
| dent surprise We'll, how did 1 know
that? Didn't you give it to me?'
There it is said the bartender; look
| for yourself"
| 1t was passed around among the bunch
, One hit 1t on the bar. another bit it, tho
third felt it: all shook their heads.
Bogus. by all that's holy" said John
| Smith
And 1 suppose I'm out the drinks?'