The St. Johns herald., 1901-03-23
Earning His Bride by the 1 Sweat of His Brow l
 By Tom Hall.
By Tom Hall.


 Kelsey (christened by her the Utter Fail- ures," because of their frivolous tenden- cies), shall practice housekeeping in cot tage provided by her, from breakfast un- n supper time each day, returning to their respective homes in the evening. They are 10 live and pay all expenses on an allowance at the rate of q, ,000 year, Laura to at- tend to the work of the household, assist ed by ore servant. and Ned to engage in sofne useful occupation. such money as he earns to be given to the poor. If at the end of the summer they are not tired of each other and stand the further test of Separation. to which she will then>subject them, she will give her consent. At the time of this reading. the plan IS already in operation, Ciceiy Brown. a young Vas sar graduate interested in sociolcgic stud les ard author Of "Morogra ph cn Domes- tic Service" being engaged as maid of all work. Ned Wilson. one of the subjects of the experiment. is the narrator.l
 THERE was but one thing to mar
 our complete enjoyment of our aant's whim. That was the propri- etary interest which she and the Utter Failures" took in it. They were omni- present. =.
 We could be alone in peace and quiet nowhere. In fact, between the three of them I had little or no time to pay any of the ordinary devotions to Laura.
 On one of those few occasions when I found such time 1 was rudely inter- rupted by Aunt Alice.
 Ned" she asked, "how much of your allowance have you spent so far?'
 l had to confess that did not know.
 ''And when are you going to get to ~ork?" she continued. 1 could not make answer in this case, either. Ihad forgotten all about it.
 The next day I went forth in search of work. commenced with the higher grades of business, as a matter of course. 1 found, however, that no bank presidents were needed at that time; that merchants did not at that particular moment require a manager for their affairs; that even the most able lawyers did not require senior partner. who had never been admitted to the bar; and that the most able physician in town could attend to his practice with the aid of couple of young doctors.
 The next day aimed lower l sim ply had to. I went in for lower posi- tions. I even offered myself as clerk in one of the stores. It was useless. 1 went down through the various grades with equal success. or rather lack of it. Finally approached the coal and wood man to whon had just paid steep bill for ccal for our own house. sup Ia Ia f@l1 I was not strcDg enough to do any of the work he had to do. But after had pleaded with him awhile he made me an offer-actually made ne an offer. He even went so far as 10 give me a choice of work. He told me that I could go to work at once driving a coal wagon, or that he could give me a chance to earn at least some money by saving wood. He had to depend on a few loafers around town to saw wood for him, and, as a rule, they were drunk when he most wanted them. He did not bel;e7e l would get drunk, and would, therefore, give me the contract to do all his wood-sawing. I thank fully accepted the offer, and agreed never to disappoint him. The matter of remuneration was easily settled, and agreed to his first offer, which seemed to please him. It really did not matter to me, as whatever l earned was to go to charity, oand if the amountNwas not sufficient to satisfy Aunt Alice, l could easily make il rp out of my own pocket. There was notEiDg in my agreement with her to prohibit that.
 >'Well," said the coal and wood man, Stake off your coat and go to work. You'l find the best bucksaw in town banging on that nail over there. When you find blsters on your hands, just go right oll as if nothing had happened. After awhile your hands will get used to it, and you won't need to wear kid gloves any more."
 ''I think" l answered, with some hesitation, that I'll take my work home with me-"
 "WhatP" he roared. :Take your work home with you? What do you think you're doing-plain sewing or washing and Ironing? You're big ger fooI than thought you were"
 1Not at all,' I answered, getting rather angry. "I prefer to do the work at home. and if I pay for having the wood drawn to my house and back again surely you can have no objec- tiop."
 The coal and wood man uttered pro- longed whistle.
 ''Well, you are a queer one," he said. ''But it doesn't make any difference to me where you do the work so long as you do it. And if you want to pay for having it drawn back and forth, why that's just so much more business for my teams. But I don't see how you're going to make living going at it that way"
 I did not try to enlighten him, but closed the bargain at once, and that afternoon his teams began hauling wood to our yard.
 -'Yon sec" I said to Laura, when 1 explained matters to her. "by this ar engagement l can be near you all day loug. And then saving wood is nice. clean work, and will be splendid ex- ercise."
 The dear girl saw the point at once, and approved my decision heartily. She even tore up two of her flower beds to make room for me to work in near the house.
 When informed of the state of affairs the author of the monograph remarked that ''it would give me an awful appe- tite." and looked despairingly at the cook book.