The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1901-10-04

majesty Jimmie, is telling the truth
about kings while they are alive
Chicago Record Herald.
/ humbly asked her for her hand,
In accents bold yet calm,
And nearly died when she replied:
"You carry off the palm"
Philadelphia Record.
"You look nice enough to eat" lie
said admiringly "Ah! now that you
mention it," she replied, Il wouldn't
mind eating a little ice ream"-PhI-
adelphia Record.
Say" snarled the conductor, "this
quarter has a plug in it." Well"
snapped the fiery passenger "did you
expect to find an automobile in it?"-
Philadelphia Record.
Il wonder how they ever became
engaged" "Their accounts differ.
She says he threw himself at her feet,
and he says she threw herself at his
ead."-Brooklyn Life.
You don't mean to say she has ac-
cepted him? He isn't at all her idealw
well, it didn't take her long TO choose
between fance in the hand and an
ideal in the bush."-Puck
Little Elmer-"Papa, what is the
hand of Providence| Professor
Broadhead-'The hand of Providence,
my son, is what we usually see in the
misfortunes of others. Puck.
My happiness would be complete
With what | have if
Could know that no one else below
The sky had more than /, and no
One else stood quite as high.
Chicago Record Herald.
NO." said Mr.. Hottie, II don't OBJ
ject to the time a man takes for rea-
sonable vacation" "To what is it that
you object, then?" "The long rest he
invariably needs after he gets back"
Boston Traveller.
Summer Belle-"There go two of the
most disagreeable men I've met this
season." Friend-"Are they? Why?"
Summer Belle-"One of them stares
me out of countenance, and the other
won't look at me at all."-New York
Weekly.
Floorwalker-"Good morning. You
wish to do some shopping, pre-
sumo" Bride with hubby)-"Y-
Floorwalker-"Step into the smoking
room and the boy there will give you
6 check for your husband New York
Weekly.
'Boys will be boys" quoted the apol-
ogist for the youngsters. Boys will
be nuisances, you mean" retorted the
man whose garden had been wrecked.
Same thing" was the reply. "Word-
ing Slightly changed, but the under
lying idea is the ame."-Chicago Post.
Mr.. Bridal Cat luncheon)-"Is this
the best salmon you could get?" Mrs.
Bridal-"Yes, the grocer showed me
several kinds, but I took this can"
-1r. Bridal-"Did he say this was the
best he had?" Mrs. Bridal-'No, but
it had the prettiest abel"-Philadel-
phia Press.
Josh-"Abner's the greatest reader
here at the Corners. An that hain't
all; he acts on what ne reads" Lige-
"Yew bet he does! Now, last week,
ter my certain knowledge, he an
swered two advertisements of matri-
monial bureaus, sent for three pack
ages of love powder an a book on
hypnotism, an he also sent a dollar
ter Teller in New York for seventeen
ways ter git rich in three monthsr'-
| Puck.
"Your services are no longer re-
qulred" said the great metropolitan
editor to the reporter who had written
up a sensational elopement. "WhyY'
was the startled question. Because
you wrote up the elopement of the
waitress and the janitor without call
Ing one a society fayorite and the
other a man of leisure and a we'll
known club man. Such carelessness
for opportunities must be punished
Boston Transcript