davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
ROYAL HOW D'Y-DOS.
Etiquette Demands That Sovereigns Shall
Not DO as Other People.

Etiquette Demands That Sovereigns Shall
Not DO as Other People.
If you were mere monarch you
would have to salute each person ac-
cording to rules laid down painfully
by men who have studied these things
out for you and your brother mon
archs.
Were you the Emperor of Austria
the only sign of your friendship that
you could give to an ordinary mortal
would be to bend your head slightly
and smile family. You might give your
hand to other sovereigns or to min
listers or particular friends, but cere-
rare thing you must merely lay your
august fingers into their trembling
palms and then withdraw them. If they
act after the ceremony as if frost-bit-
ten you have lived up to the tradi-
tions of the imperial house.
The czar is permitted to give his
hand to rulers only. But he has a
great comfort. 1t is not only his pre-
rogative, but his duty, according to
court etiquette, to Kiss his cousins,
and as most of his cousins are females,
1t is duty that is the reverse of un-
pleasant. There was terrible trouble
among the old ladies of the Russian
court when President Faure of France
was on his way to make visit to st.
Petersburg. "EIe is a ruler" said one.
consequently our august master must
shake him by the hand. "No," said
others, shocked beyond measure. mo!
His father was only person in trade
and he himself was only a tanner. Our
czar cannot shake such a creature by
the handl"
So acute did this question become.
his majesty finally received the presi-
dent in private and nls form of greet
ing was kept secret.-Tit-Bits
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
Foreiqners Own No Land in Shanahai.

The government of Shanghai itself,
as municipality, is as oddly compli-
Gated and as full of apparent contra
dictions as the prerogatives and juris-
distion of the consular court. The
foreign settlement is built upon lands
held, under treaty, by perpetual
lease from the Imperial Government;
not one foot of it is actually owned by
the foreign residents. The holdings
of Western Powers in China, with the
exception of the Russians at Port Ar
thur are precisely of the same nature;
the land upon which they have built
barracks, residences and warehouses
has all been granted subject to the
same condition, each and all paying
perpetual and stipulated tax to the
Imperial nt-Chautuauuan
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
Disguised
Their Sex
.sS9S0S6S(

Apropos of the discovery that Muir
ray Hall, the Tammany politician, for
thirty years known as a man, was in
reality woman, many interesting and
historic cases of similar masquerades
are recalled. One of the most notable
disguises of sex on record was that of
Chevalier D'Eon, who masqueraded
as woman while acting as diplomatic
agent for Louis XIV to the court of the
Empress Of Russia. He was born in
Tonnerre, France, in 1928, and died in
1910.
There lived twenty years ago in
Hungary an officer named Felix Fran
coine, who was one of the most valor-
Gus captains in the army. Her sex
was not discovered until after her
death. In Brittany a few years ago
there lived an old fisherman who for
fifty years followed the sea, disguised
as a man, although woman. She was
so successful with her nets that she
amassed fortune and at her death
left considerable real estate, twelve
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
CURIOUS FlNNY CREATURE
FOUND IN NEW ZEALAND.

soil thoroughly wet, and put into a
tub of water, curious thing happens
After day or two it casts it's skin,
which sinks to the bottom, and the fish
plays about bright and lively.
When dug up in summer there ap-
pears to be a growth of skin, or per-
haps of a dry, gummy exudation,
which seals up the head and gills. Ap.
parently this enables it to aestivate
through the dry weather, and seals the
fish as an Indian fakir is sealed up be-
fore he goes in for long burial.
OF course, in winter, there must be
marshy spots or pools in which the
fish can swim and propagate, but often
an evidence of such natation disap-
pears in summer, and the hot. dry, wa
terless plain seems the last place on
earth in which to find fish,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
Sruut's gllnstratiuu Of
9ts Slightest furul.

to boast, and to threaten him, while
the young braves kept up wild and
nerve-racking chorus of whoops and
yells. Thomson related what followed
in this way:
Il was talking to old Red Wolf, and
telling him what would happen if he
let loose against the settlers. / was
talking fast, for they were sure enough
starting on the war-path, and knew
if they weren't stopped at the start,
the few Of us at Fort Sill couldn't stop
them after they got going. was
threatening him with the whole United
States army, and trying to make him
hear me, when the youngster from
West Point turned his head towards
me and grinned. Thomson he said,
who's your fat friend?' He had his
hands in his belt and his cigar in his
mouth, and he spoke so quiet that I
couldn't make out what he meant, but
he was looking behind me, so turned
and looked too. An old chief, weigh
ing about three hundred pounds, had
slipped off his pony and crept up be-
hind me, and was pointing his Win
chester at full cock just back of my
ear. When l turned my head the
muzzle punched me in the cheek. Now,
what / say is, that any man that
knows he's got to die can be cool and
funny about it himself, and let on he
don't care, but man who can be cool
and funny when his friend has got to
die is damned brave man." For the
benefit of those who want to know
what happened after that, can only
tell them that Red Wolf interfered in
behalf of Thomson, and that he and
the lieutenant were allowed to return
to Fort Sill, where for many years
after Thomson quoted the boy as be-
ing the bravest man Of his acquaint-
ance.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
HUMOROUS.

Blobbs-The life of a detective
should be full of variety. Slobbs-Yes,
they are the spies of life.
He-You are the only girl / ever
loved. She-Then all l can say is
you've missed lot of fun.
"My father died with his boots on!"
cried the Arizona girl, triumphantly.
"Too lazy to take them off, eh?" said
the caustic man.
When a fellow proposes the up-to-
date girl no longer says: This is
SO sudden" She thinks: well. he
was long time about it."
She-Cruel to his boy. is he? He
Yes; he seems to think it's proper
to pick up his son and heir as he
would popular air-by ear.
Sillicus-The average woman is a
dismal failure when she tries to crack
joke. Cynicus-And yet she can
break a man without an effort.
Tommy-Pop, can people swear
with their eyes, Tommy's Pop-Not
that l know of. my son. Tommy
Then what is cursory glance?
Mamma (plying the strap)-There,
there, and there! Now, don't let me
catch you in the pantry again. Tommy
Boo! hoo, | tried not to let you
catch me this time.
you're giving me an awful long
wait today" remarked the impatient
customer. "Well. lady" returned the
busy grocer, didn't you kick about
short weight yesterday"
They were looking through the libra
ry. "If you had the divine gift what
would you rather write?" asked the
romantic young woman. Checks, )"
replied the sordid young man.
Nell-Maude is very susceptible
Belle-What's the matter with her
now? Nell-Somebody told her she
was remarkably striking girl, and
she Immediately went and bought a
punching bag.
First Automobile Those obsolete
expressions are very amusing. Second
Autcmobile-Yes; there's that one
about putting the cart before the
horse. What in the world do you sup
pose that means?
Mrs. Kindart-Your twins are fine
boys. But they look so much alike l
don't see how you can tell them apart.
Mrs. Cassidy-Faith. thot's aisy
enough. Wan O. thin is called Pat, an
tn other wan Mike. There's the diff
ference, dye mind?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

The indignant looking passenger
was about to speak, but the conductor
headed him off by exclaiming in loud
tone of irritation:
This is the slowest train | was ever
on. What's the use of having a sched-
ule if we don't pay any attention to it i?
The drinking water tastes as if it
hadn't been off the kitchen range 10
minutes. The car doesn't look as if it
had been swept for month, and it is
full of IDIOTS who insist on opening
the windows when we so through tun-
nels, so that the cinders can blow in"
The passenger caught his breath and
then exclaimed: 81 was just about to
say that this whole affair is an out.
rage"
81 know it. But you're lucky. You
can travel few miles and then get of
and be happy. But I've got to stay on
this train for hours every day Of my
life. e."-Washlrg gtoE Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

Deadly dangers lurk in the ground
left bare by the departing snow. All
Winter long there have been accumu-
lating deadly disease germs.
These have been protected and
kept alive by the covering of snow
and now. with the first warm days,
these death-bringing microbes are
awakened by the rays of the sun. and
as the ground dries they are carried to
all corners OF the community in the
dust that Is blown everywhere by the
Spring winds.
The human body at this time Is par
ticularly susceptible to these germs,
especially the germs Of fevers. The
system has been depleted by the fore
going Winter. The blood is sluggish
and filed with impurities. The nerves
have not recovered from the tension
they have been under for the past
months. The stomach, the bowels, the
kidneys, the liver are all at their
worst.
1t is, therefore, not strange that
these germs Of disease find fertile
ground in which to thrive, flourish and
develop into deadly ills.
Spring Is the time of year when one
should fear an attack of fever, espe-
cially when the system is depleted one
should dread any severe illness. The
vitality is at a low ebb. There is less
power of resistance to throw off di-
sease, and it Is on this account that
fatalities are so much greater during
the Spring months than at any other
time of the year.
There is but one way to ward off
such dangers. and that is to fortify
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
UNDER The SNOW.
ChaStIy Truths Revealed on the Disap-
pearanCe Of Winters White Mantle.

the human body so that it will be-
vading disease.
To do this take DR.. Greene's Ner-
vura blood and nerve remedy. 1t will
build you UP quickly. 1t will re-estab-
lish your waning appetite. it will give
you restful nights of sleep, it will give
vim and vigor to the nerves. and it
will dispel all existing poisons that
have accumulated in the body besides
counteracting the effects Of others
that may accumulate.
Following is an instance that will
Illustrate the wonderful power of DR..
Greene's Nervura blood and nerve
remedy.
Sheriff Jonas T. Stevens. who is
sheriff of Hyde Park. VT. says:-"I
have used DR.. Greene's Nervura blood
and nerve remedy especially as a blood
purifier. l had very severe humor
on my arms. accompanied by very
bad itching. SO severe that l could not
sleep nights, causing me great incon-
venience by the loss Of sleep by the
itching. A friend advised me to take
DR.. Greene's Nervura blood and nerve
remedy, which 1 did with the most
satisfactory results. for the trouble
has entirely disappeared. and l can
now rest comfortably nights and have
none of my former misery from the
burning, itching sensations"
Remember DR.. Greenes advice will
be given to any one desiring same ab-
solutely free If they will write or call
upon him at his office, 35 w. 14th St.,
New York City.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
athat Ss Courage?

Some years ago at Fort Sill, Indian
Territory, there was a government
scout, whose name was Thomson"
says Richard Harding Davis in Every
body's Magazine. "He furnished me
with story Of an incident which he
considered was the best illustration
OF the highest form of real courage.
An Indian agent had sent in word to
ehe post that the Indians near him
We're on the point of an outbreak, and
that he believed they might sweep
down upon him at any moment. Thorn
son and boy lieutenant just out from
west Point were detailed to ride over
10 the agency and make an investiga-
tion. While they were seated on the
Veranda of the agents house, and while
ne was reciting his reasons for be-
heylng an uprising was imminent,
about two hundred Indians came gal
ioping towards them across the prai-
rle. They were in war-paint and war
Donnets, and they came yelling and
Dfandlshfng their Winchesters. The
Ihulan agent retreated to his second
story and concealed himself beneath
the he'd. Thomson remained seated
with his feet against the rail of the
porch, and calmly observed the ad-
Vancing whiriwind of painted bodies,
eagles feathers, and fluttering blank
cts The boy from West Point initiated
thomson. He knew that if on their
return to the post the famous Indian
fighter should give a good account of
him to the old officers, his reputation
would be instantly and pleasantly
established. That was allowing, OF
course, that they ever did return to
the post. So he kept his feet on the
railing and puffed at his cigar. The
Indians fell off their ponies in front
Of the scout, and their chief men began
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
A Fish That
DUries Itself.

A fish of curious habits exists in New
Zealand which has apparently hitherto
escaped the notice of naturalists. The
fish is called by the Maoris the kalka-
val. 1t is generally discovered when a
man is digging out rabbits or making
post holes in the summer time, and it
lies at depth of a foot or two feet
under the soil. The character Of the
soil, whether sandy or loamy, does not
seem to matter.
The fish is from two to three inches
long, silvery, shaped like minnow,
but rather more slender and tapering.
1t appears to be dead when eXhumed,
and if dug up in summer and put into
water 1t dies at once. If, however, it
is brought to daylight in May, or
early June (the end of autumn), when
the rains are beginning to make the
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
SAVED.

When l was sick the querrest things
L sometimes saw at night!
And onct there was a cat with wings
Kept comm round to fight!
And onct great big burglar thief
Was crawling on the floor
And onct Il monstrous Injun chief
Was standin' in the door.
And onct l tumbled down a well
q did MT seem asleep,
And miles and miles and miles fell,
For it was awful deep!
l felt so funny, for L thought
I'd surely strike my head,
But at the bottom l was caught
All safe awake in bed!
-Edwin L. Sabin in Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

One Of the ways in which Germany
has been seeking to shut out American
goods from her markets is by refusing
advertisements of things made in the
United States. Frank H. Mason, the
American consul general in Berlin, re-
ports to the state department that for
the last six years the German trade
papers have refused to publish adver
tisements of American bicycles and
sewing machines. The tariff did not
shut out the American bicycles, so the
German manufacturers got together
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

When Chinaman is very swagger he
becomes possessor of a cheap American
clock. These alarm clocks have found
their way into every city and town in the
empire. There is nothing the Celestial is
SO proud of as his alarm clock, If von
take up dozen photographs of Chinese
you will see that they always have the lit.
tie clock on the table at their elbow.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

Submarine boats and torpedoes for use
in warfare do not seem to be held in ia,
ter of Marine, in spite of the generally
supposed prediction of the French for
such measure of harbor defense. M. de
Lanessan is quoted as saying that neither
submarine boat nor torpedo is of great
value IN war, owing to their limited range
of action. NeN
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

head, with some knowledge of books
and vast experience. John" said
the manager, and the words quivered
with energy, Il want this job rushed.
Every hours delay costs the company
money. Have you got the engineers
plans for the new bridge?" Colonel"
said the old man (the engineer student
will learn early in his Career that the
general manager of a railroad never
ranks lower than coloneD-"C Colonel,
don't know whether the engineer has
got the picture drawed yet or not, but
the bridge is up, and the trains are
passing over it."-Montreal Herald and
Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

A recruiting officer who has been in
Iowa says that the percentage of men nc.
cepted in that State on offering them
selves for army service is considerably
above the average in any other State
Enlistments in Iowa are largely from the
farms, and the vast majority of vonng
fellows who offer themselves are yonng
strong and hardy. 'e'
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

To keep the skin. clean is to keep it healthy;
every mother should therefore see that her,
baby is given a daily bath in warm water with
Ivory soap. The nursery should also be.well
aired and cleaned, and all clothing washed
with Ivory Soap, well rinsed and dried in the
sun. ELIZA r. PARKER
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
Yankees Win in Germany

and declared that they would patronize
no paper devoted to the bicycle trade
which took advertisements of Amer
can wheels. Several German manu-
facturers of bicycles are also manufac-
turers Of sewing machines, and they
decided to include those in the boycott
list. At first there was considerable
damage done to the American trade,
but after awhile the Yankee traders
Hooded Germany with gorgeous post
ers and taking" circulars, and now
are in position to ignore the German
trade papers-w which they do.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
One of the Engineers.

A bridge on a western railroad had
been washed away and it was neces-
sary to replace it with temporary
structure The chief engineer and his
staff were ordered in hot haste to the
place, drafting room was established
in the nearby station, and the scene
became one of great activity. Two days
later came the general manager to add
more pressure to the already tense sit
uation. Alighting from his private
car he encountered the master bridge
builder. The latter was type evolved
by the railroad situation of the last
generation heavy handed. hard OF
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22
Lane's Family Medicine

Moves the bowels each day. In order to be
healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on the
liver and kidneys. Cures sick headache.
Price 25 and so cents.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

When feeling tired, discouraged and gen.
orally "used-up," take Garfield Headache
POWDERS; they are made from Herbs and are
genuinely good. Send to Garfield Tea Com
pany, Brooklyn, N. Y, for free samples.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

tVHGHIHG Eehd" 10 ConsumptiOn.
kemp's Balsam will stop the cough at once.
So TO your druggist to-day and get sample
bottle free. Sold in 25 and so cent bottles
Go at once. DELAYS are dangerous
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-22

The output of coal in Washington State
Tor 1900 was abnnt . 200 nnn TOM.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-12-03
A ROYAL RIVAL

William Fayersham appeared in this city last night aI IolFs rneater 1n A Royal k1yal,H play fn, four acts, adapted by Gerald Du Maurier. IL was produced under the direction of Charles Frohman before a large and fasnonabie audience, which was not at all ungenerons in the bestowa1 of its applause. The play is not, as the star actor himself stated at the end o1 the third act when he was accorded six curtain calls and finally. had ro make speech, food for thought, and it could be more intellectual, There is nothing deep in it's plot; no intrica- cies which are difficult to unrayel. William tayersham as bon Yuos.lr was indeed star. His acting was clever and in the varied parts he showed himself 10 be an actor of the first class. Miss Julie Opp's acting az 8Iarita was as beautiful as she her self is, while Edwin Stevens as Don Jose was excellent. The entire con- pany was first class and the perform ance was very pleasing to the large audience. Curtain calls were numer- Ous
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-12-03
Between Cigar Puns,

A wife in addressing her husband says ''her" children when they are good, but when they are bad it is ..his'' children
 A god way to test your girls love is to send her a letter and a present together. If she opens the letter first it's clear case of love.
 History is apt to repeat itself, es- pecially when it is repeated by ones neighbors.
 A rolling stone gathers no moss, excepting sometimes remorse. With the actor it's apt to be a case of starring or starving-only the diff ference of letter.
 Truth is most convincing when told by an experienced liarl
 When fellow begins to start down hill the devil is always ready with a hell-ping handl
 A man who searches for happiness too strenuously rarely finds itl The apple of knowledge frequently becomes the apple of discord after it is bittenl
 The shorter the rainy day skirt, the longer the man looksI Like Oliver Twist, love always cries: "I want some morel''
 If you wish to catch your train don't study the time table.--Wnlter Pulitzer. in N- Y. Herald.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-12-03
POLAR BEARS AS PETS.
We11.known AnimaI-Tamer Who Has Succeeded fin Tanning Two
 of the Beasts.

Hitherto it has been supposed that polar bears could neither be trained nor rendered docile. but now MT. Richard Sawade, well-known Euro. pean tanner of animals and a notabls authority on hears in particular, shows clearly that such s.pposi- tion is entirely erroneous, says the St. Louis Republic.
 He secured two polar bears some time ago and at once determined to train them. In this he succeeded be- yond bis expectation-so well indeed that these monstrous animals aow follow him as obediently as dogs, ready at his slightest nod 10 per- form any of the little tricks which they have learned from him. Their education in this respect is not yet complete, but that they have learned more than any of their ancestors is evident from the fact that at word from their master they get up on their hind legs and in this manner follow him at respectful distance like 1ackeys as he walks around the room.
 Mir. Sawade claims that polar bears are endowed with more infelli- gence than is generally imagined and that, ii properly handled, they will in time become quite as docile as other animals.
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-12-03
AUTOMOBILE NEWS.

A titled automobilist was recent ly fined a pound for allowing his ve- hicle to emit steam while passing through the streets of town.
 An attempt has been made to in troduce motor wagons on the Af- rican caravan route. Sixty were built especially for the work and have been abandoned.
 An automobile took fire recently at Springfield, Mass, and the driver with great presence of mind, ran the burning machine to the nearest fire house and asked the firemen to ex. tingllish the flames. The firemen were quite surprised at having a fire brought to their doorss
Waterbury Democrat., 1901-12-03

chiefs, hemmed. 25c ! dozen. from 5c each
 100 dozen fine colored bordered handkerchiefs, s for 25c. from 5c.
 10 dozen extra fine linen and em- brofdered handkerchiefs, mfgs price 50c, our price 25c.
 10000 ladies' beautiful embroidered and hemstitched handkerchiefs, 121sc, from 25c.
 90 handsome oxidized hand gilt bag tops, 39c each, mfgs price $1.50.
 Shell side combs, pompadour and back combs, 1Oc each, mfgs price 25c
 % dozen ladies' silk ties, mfgs price T5c to $l.50, our price 10c each.
 800 pieces link and bar cuff buttons. mfgs price 50c, our price 9c,
 4,500 yards of handsome hamburg edgings, 31a to 4 inches wide, mfgs price 20c to BOG, our price 5c. 7c and Sc yard.
 4 gross Of buttermi1k soap, 3 cakes in a box, SC box, from 10c.