davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

"She married a millionaire, didn't
sheT
"You mean that he was a millionaire
at the time she married him."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS

PLEASANT incidents Occurring the
World over Sayings thatAre cheer
full to Old OF Young-Funny selec'
tiOns that Everybody will Enjoy.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

and now you may read the book and
enjoy it, while you have the advantage
of the father of your country in expert
ence and | will save my cherry tree,
giving you valuable lesson at the same
time. Chicago Chronicle.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

Mrs. Satisfactorily she marry her
first lover
Mrs. Stockyarde-Oh, my, yes! Her
first, second, third and fOurth.-Norris-
town Herald.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

Brlggs-How long has Miss Pertly
been on the stage?
Griggs-Two or three marriages.
Chicago Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
AHactinn,aG Shrine.

Pauline has one side of her boudoir
devoted to photographs Of her lost
beaux."
so many deadp
"No; married.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
One Lone PnnnIist

There is only one member of the new
Legislature of Tennessee who is not
Democrat. He is Populist
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
Trolleys Carry the Mails.

In Pennsylvania the trolley is carry
ing the mail and thus supplanting the
star routes.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

No matter how erect a general may
be he is apt to lean more or less on his
staff.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
inadvertently Pleasant.

81 didn't know II was to be comic
opera"
well, you knew II was TO be an opera
given by an amateur company, didn't
youT-Chicago Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
To Divert Them.

Pittsburg Man-What would you
folks do If mob of rioters should come
charging down Broadway?
New-Yorker (busily)-Start a police
man to shooting at dog.-New York
Weekly,
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
Landlords in Holland.

In Holland no landlord has the power
Of raising the rent or of evicting a ten
ant
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

A finished poet is one who gets dis
couraged and goes to work.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

A girls mission in life Is to change
her dresses. her mind and her name.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
Looked Like 1t.
The Seminary Kind.


Johnson-Does your wife speak
French?
Thompson-She thinks she does.
you don't speak it. do your
mo"
"Then how do you know she doesn't7"
II watched a French walters face
the other day when she was talking to
him, and I'll be blamed IL he didn't
look as If he had the toothache."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

do you see that man over yonderf
He has just had greatness thrust upon
him."
How SOP
why, he's the only public man In
the country who when asked to tell
what would happen in the new CEN
tury said he didn't know."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22
The Thoughtful Parent.

"And now, my son, want to give you
a little lesson. We have here cherry
tree, little hatchet and the life of
George Washington. | take a little
branch from the tree and
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

The parsOn ION a vislt)-And how
long do you pray at night, my boy?
The Boy-Winter or summerI
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

She-What was his answer?
He-He said: Il don't know who
you are, but It's all right.
Lampoon.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-22

He-I asked your fathers consent by
telephone.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
A NOTABLE PLEA FOR PEACE.


OF 1
the
regardless
m
blessings
principle
possibility Of
main purpo o .
now
troll
T.
communities recognize the doctrine
in mental 0
ewinco whn The charge
b
Of Is
OF
eistng work o
lover
fmankin may hope bsar
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
NOT A POPULAR TEACHER

Among the many epitaphs 20 be read
on Burial Hill. in the historic town OF
Plymouth, Mass, is one which breathes
such defiance 10 the world at large as il
seldom found, even on gravestone, says
the Youths Companion.
The stone marks the burial place OF
Tabitha Plasket, Plymouth widow, who
died I'm 1907. After her husbands death IL
t. said that the Widow Plasket taught a
private school for children OF tender
years and thrifty managed to do her
spinning at the same TIME.
When her small charges became unruly
and overstepped the bounds OF discipline.
Tabitha'e favorite mode OF bringing them
10 a sense of their wrongdoing was to
pass skeins OF yarn under their arms and
suspend them from nails on the wall. A
row OF little culprits hanging In this way
must have been an amusing spectacle: I:
but IL appears from Mrs. Piasket's cpl
taph that her methods did not always
meet with approval from parents and
friends:
Adieu. vain world, I've seen enough OF
thee.
And ] am careless what thou say'st OF
me.
Thy smiles wish not
Nor thy frown / fear.
j am now at rest, my head lies quiet here.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
HIGH CLASS STOCK
COMPANY FOR KEITH'S
Manager Albee Will Establish One
for the Spring and Summer Season.
Fine Entertainments Promised.

later; but the list given is sufficient TO
ensure play-goers OF a spring and sum-
mcr season of drama upon scale and
of an artistic standard at least equal
To those of any dramatic organizations
that have ever been seen in Providence.
and which could not possibly be approach
ed I'm any respect by even the best travel
ing organizations that have previously
played summer engagements In this city.
The list OF plays TO be presented is not
yet given ont; but IL Is stated that IL will
include many great Frohman, DAILY and
Belasco productions for which the rights
have already been secured, and will em-
brace a wide variety.of the greatest pop
ular successes i'm every field of dramatic
art. and Mr. Winter is already at work
upon important matters OF preparation.
Every production will be made upon the
elaborate and careful scale as TO details
and accuracy that would be expected OF
anything bearing Mr.. Albees name or
with which Mr.. Winter Is identified, and
will be as complete and effective as any
10 be seen I'm the leading dramatic houses
OF the country.
OF course all the many provisions for
the comfort and convenience 'of patrons
and all the many Individual features of
MANAGEMENT 10 be found only in the
Keith theatres will be continued as now;
and others especially appropriate to the
different style OF entertainment Will be
introduced.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
THE QUESTION OF TRANSFERS.

lively question has just been ended at
Scranton The railway company there became and
gave public the 18th the present month the issu
ing lines would be discontinued The city
prompt emergency adopted
resolution provided forfeiture the franchises enjoy
ed by h unless the transfer order withdrawn That
fight railway company announced
that until further notice will transfers usual This victory
for The people was granted franchises
railway company had wisdom insist transfers
OF payment the valuable privileges conferred.
Here in Providence foresight displayed when the
enjoyed than decade by
the Union Company granted The
that power City Council compel the granting of
transfers is very limited only pr
leges Union railroad seek AS matter OF
would however that the Union
excessive unreasonable.
The offer system providing city accepts
the appears Indeed there
suspicion that it is renewed with the hope and
pectation rejected years ago.
the plan was presented the City Council
For big station the Union Company
says desires city furnish Site That
Objectionable Even should the building
station be deemed proper solving problem
on what ground city expected
which it be erecteda
But Transfer tickets given
by be stationed
proper points this prove
railroad the building
quppng maintaining large transfer building would be heavy
by of distribution the expense would be
almost insignificant in comparison.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
DIED.

ALLEN-In this city. 18th inst, Elizabeth
Munroe eldest daughter of Sarah G.
and the late George Edward Allen.
BECKER--l3th inst, Marion Earl Becker
wife OF Jose Carlos Becker, yardmas-
ter Of the Duluth and Iron Range X r.,
at Fayal, MINI.
BAXTER--In this city. 18th inst. Capt
Samuel w. Baxter. aged Il years.
DOYLE-In fhis city. 18th inst. Almira
Sprngue. widow OF Thomas A. Doyle. In
TIE 18th year of her age.
FARRELIe-In this city. 18th inst. Mrs.
Ann, wife OF the late Hugh Farrell.
LEONARD-Tn this city 18th inst. Bar
tholomew Leonard.
McMANUS--ln this city. 18th inst. An
drew McManus, late OF g7s Plain street.
o'NEIIs--In this city, 18th inst, John
O'Neil.
SCHOCH-Tn this city. 18th inst. Ada
laidc Weeden, wide of Louis w. Schoch.
and daughter of the late Charles w. and
Anna Weeden
WILLIAMS-In this city. 18th inst. Ed,
ward Williams.
WILLfS-In this city, 18th inst, Emma
L., wife of George A. Willis.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
The Gossip.
VAMPIRES NOT BL00DSUCkERS.

James Rhen, who IL engaged in a
special study of bats, says that II In a
fallacy that the vampire Is a bloodsucker.
says the San Francisco Chronicle. Trav-
elers and story writer's are responsible
for the story OF the terrible bloodsucting
vampire bats OF South Africa. Nearly all
general writer's I'm that section agree with
them as TO It's criminal record, and they
all concur I'm laying the blame on n large.
grotesque-looking bat. with an enormous
leaf nose--the vampire spectrum. This
bat IL common in South and Central Am
erica, and from It's great size. being about
two feet across the outspread wings Is a
suggestive and repulsive enough subject
to impute the blood-loving habits to. AS
u matter of fact, this is a somewhat use
full animal, and IL totally innocent of
these charges, the bloodsuckers being two
much smaller and rarer bats. The front
teeth of these two latter arc enormous
lancets. occupying over half the tooth
row OF tho animals and possessing very
sharp edges, which can easily penetrate
the human skin. The teeth of tho big
vampire, on the other hand. are simply
adapted for a diet OF insect and fruit The
true bIOodsUCKfnE bats are mtrch-Tprer
than the vampire
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
MUSIC UNDER DIFFICULTIES.

Henri Wleniawski. the famous vioIiiiisf.
whom somo older readers may reInen4oer
having heard In this country. whih max
brother Josef. noted plano lJaSer. haJ
some peculiar experiences. says the Musi-
cal Enterprise.
The two brothers were TO play In
large town In the interior. and wished 10
see the hall In which the concert would
take place. They were contiucted tnrouglt
MUD and snow TO a large flank ..hAt,
which had been used for circua and on
en.snas found nothing but bare wsils
asked the brothers. There ARE neither
benches nor seats"
"oh. that makes no difference replied
the marshal with us every one brings
Yes" answered the musicians. but
what about lghtsg" There is moi lamp
That's nothing,e ither," replied their
companion. With us every one brings
Having. learned the simple manners of
the country the musicians asked Anw the
concert was 10 be. advertised.
the marchal. ITS true We have no
printing press but L viii have a servant
write the announcement Ia large letters
on the door. and II Will spread through
tho town fast enough
A man soon appeared with a IOuni %
door. The brothers were somewhat de-
lected but the marshal assured them
that everything. would be satisfactory.
were seen nocking 10 the plare OF per-
formance, each carrying In one hand
Sanse eaa aSd wa IN ordwde ,ne ether sn,e The
mother of the performers Was present.
and, seeing the rain and snow dropping
through the roof on Henri while he
played. she was disturbed.
My poor son! He will take his death
OF coldi' she murmured half aloud.
lis that Your son, little mother"
asked a kindly old man sitting near by.
and, rising he shouted TO the young vio-
linist: Put your fur coat onr' Then.
turning 10 the audience he said: His
mother who Is sitting near, fears he will
take cold. y
Inarid: '.Put ON your FUR coat Put on
your fur coat! Put OF your fur coat!
Henri paused and thanked them for
their permission, but added that he could
not play I'm a fur coat. THAT makes no
difference" cried the whole audience.
Put IL on Put IL oni'
He did as he was bid and played as best
he could, SO encumbercd.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
WILL SING GOUaOO'S "fEUST."

Next Wednesday evening Madame Sem
brich and her opera company VIII pre-
sent Goun6ds Faust I'm concert form
al Infantry hall The full Arion club
chorus will assist at the presentation or
this charming work and DIR. jules Jordan
will be the director
Marcella Sembrich has book In which
every performance she ever sang Is re-
corded From her debut at Athens down
TO her last appearance @ al .ne Ner,U,Illi, sn,Sliy
the name OF the character she sang. the
place and date are all that is entered.
Bpt in one instance there Is an empat-
is and striking comment the only one I'm
fni. cosmopolitan word "Fiasco" print
ed I'm letters an inch long across tne pasS, a.,
There is no mention of her triumpns IN
many cities-only the single comment
that this word implies.
The scene OF this disaster was Barce-
Iona. a town dreaded by most singers.
There Nine Sembrich sang ot tho begin.
ming OF her career I'm Lucia she had
Just met with triumphant successin MAJ MAJ
rid and naturally expected 10 meet with
the same experience fn Barcelona Sing
ing with her at that time was Slghor
Pandoltini. who had prevpusIy neen a
popular singer IN spain anu ltaly' lie
was singing Ashton.
Nine Sembrich made her customary
success with her first aria; Then came
tho duet with Sgnor Pandolnni. He was
I'm bad voice and Sang on the KEY ~ a
way that even greater patience than
Barcelona's would never have tolerated.
The kissing and catcalls were so strong
that nothing could be heard but the up
triumph Tor Nine. sembrich, but g was
behaved itself as that OF Barcelona was
not 20 be tolerated. SO Nine Sembrtch
broke her contract, left Barcelona tho
''hasco' ia large letters in her little
book.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
HODGE, PODGE & co.

II the Providence Opera House were
twice as large IL probably could not be-
gin to hold all who would like to be
there this evening when Peter Il. DALEY
comes TO Providence as star at the
head pof company playing Hodge.
Podge & Coz" which will begin a week =
engagement under the management OF
Frank Mckee.
Mr. Daley is emphatically one OF the
greatest favorites Providence knows and
ne comes under the most favorable cir
cumstances, with comedy that is eX-
pected TO make a big hit.
with Mr.. Daley are such favortes as
Christie Mcdonald. pleasantly remember
ed for her clever rendition of promi-
nent role i'm "The Bride Elect" William
Broderick, George w. Barnum, Eddie
Garvey, stephen Maley, Robert Piggott,
Edward Wonn, Harry Austen. Charles
Winters, Jennie Hawley, Clara Wisdom,
George Lawrence, Mamie Forbes, Harry
Lesser, frankie Bailey and an unusual
ly large number OF pretty girls.
Music will be special feature of the
production and instant popularity Is ex-
pectcd when Mr.. Daley sings my Sun
flower Sue" "Cindy." Model Poster
Girls" ~ Scion OF the House OF High
bali and other prize selections.
One of the most sensational acts ever
Imported from Europe. the marvellous
August family. will be introduced during
the action of Hodge Podge & CO.. and
this family which consists OF father.
daughter and two sons have become
wonderfully skilled in Juggling all kinds
of movable objects.
Their skill. however. does not depend
alone upon their dexterity in thus keep
Ing objects I'm the air,as their pantomimic
comedy has been brought to degree
OF perfection that causes the most blase
theatre-goer 70 become interested on the
instant OF their appearance. The Agousts
are said TO receive the highest saiary
evorv paid any turn of this kind. $1,000
a week; and that they created sensa-
tion under their initial performance In
New York was duly demonstrated by the
Aunds of applause that greeted them at
the completion OF their act.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

n you are a lover Of trees. and few
there are who fail 10 admire their beauty
yesterday must have been a day of pleas
ure for YOU Tn their Icy clothing they
presented picture Of rare beauty. ii Is
. mistake. 81 every lover ~ mature
knows 10 think that with the loss OF
their foliage all the glory Of trees departs.
YESTERDAY. A. has seldom been the case
g. fhls section IN recent years. one had a..
eyuortspiiy ~ s,e ihe exquisite variety
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

Ireland will probably give a really
warmer reception 10 the Prince of Wales
on his forthcoming visit than she gave
10 the Queen. With all his faults 1t
must be remembered OF Wales that IN the
days when home rule seemed possible he
was not one OF those who frowned on the
measure that would give this boon TO the
sons OF Erin.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

The whole country is watching with
considerable interest the outcome OF the
Quay contest. Whether for better or
worse. the division in the Republican
ranks has made Il rather difficult for e
once powerful senator to make an easy
landing at Washington.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
THE JUNofRAU RAILROAD.

During the summer months OF 1899
work on the Jungfrau Railway was sus-
pended on account OF the immense traffic
on the sections thus far I'm operation.
Work was started again last October.
and now proceeds very favorably Some
2000 men arc employed day and night
Up TO the Elgenwand station there are
still 3i6o feet OF tunnel Co be built which,
IL IL hoped, will be completed by October.
1901. The terminal station, "Icesea, ("
which is situated II, 7so feet above the level
OF the sea, will be reached In about two
years from now. Another tunnel. some
1000 feet in length. has to be built between
the two latter stations. When completed
Icesea station will be the highest and
most curious railway station In Europe
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

Latest accounts indicate that the Hon.
william r. Chandler will soon have re-
vived sufficiently to explain how he felt
when that blow landed on the solar plex-
MS OF his vaulting political ambition.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

When Pitchfork Ben Tillman says no
one can tell where the Democratic party
will stand in 1904, does ne mean to be un-
derstood as indicating that the Democra-
cy proposes TO take 20 the woods?
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

The Hon. Richard olncy may regard =
nomination Tor che t'nited States scuatrnt
the hands of the Democrats in the Mossa
chusetts legislatre az vindicatmn o.
his course in suppornns Rryan iu tie
recent presidential occuon but ths real
sindlcation all som@ when Georgc D.
iioar. who supported Mckhlcg. is- a..
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

A 81. Paul publishing house has leased
a club building for it's 40 employees. The
dues arc ten cents a month, and the pay
ment OF the same entities a member TO
all the privileges or the club Refresh
ments are served at cost and storage
for bicycles Is provided. There is smok-
ina room and n billiard room, and q
gymnasium Ia planned for the basement
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

II salt is the true elixir or life as so
many scientists are contending II is prob
able the sad fate OF one. Mrs. Lot, was
due TO an overdose
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

Austria talks saucily 90 Uncle Sam
probably because she feels certain he will
never take notice OF the utterances OF a
cripple.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

cred such conspicuous. able and valuable
service.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

Let every baby be fat. That
rounds him out and cushions
him: keeps the rough world
from hurting him. Fat is his
reserve of food: it is food laid
up for tomorrow.
SCOTS emulsion of cod-livcr
oil is certain means of plump
ing baby, unless there is
something wrong; and he likes
il.
Vel send ,su ihils 90 tr,. u ysuiss
sSOII a BOVINE, - Pearl street, Nee Nsrh
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

OF form enhanced by crystal covering
on which the sun Or electric light had O
noble effect.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

'lf ever there was country IN
which the principle OF universal suf-
frage could not he iudiciously or
safely applied 20 the election or the
national government that country Is
the island of Cuba. The proof OF this
is 90 be found IN the revelations made
by the recent census with regard To
the racial division and tho educatio
al condition OF the population. "--
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
Chat About
People.

During the present term members of
General Assembly. state officials,
clerks, and. In fact, all persons hav-
ing business at the new State House
will have another convenience, one
which has so fay been lacking. This
VIII be. a perfectly equipped and
properly managed lunch room, the
privilege for furnishing food having
been granted TO Victor Gelb OF this
city. When the lorg SESSIONS COM
mence and I'm stormy weather the
lunch room Will be a popular resort.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

During the present week quite
number of the offices I'm the new State
House Will be occupied, and, In fact.
IL Will not be long before all the state
officials will have moved into their
new quarters. This opens up the
tnought OF what Is TO become Of all
the vacant space in the Elizabeth
building. which has for 50 many years
been the centre OF the states admin
igtration.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

James v. Fish OF Washington viii
lage. n deputy sheriff In Kent county.
who was shot yesterday. while IN the
discharge or his duty, at Arnold's
roadhouse In West Greenwich, has al
ways given proof that he was a good
and courageous officer. 1 have known
Fish for many years and am not
surprised 10 learn that he entered the
house single-handed. He was built
that way" and was one OF the last
men 10 ask If duty was dangerous
or not.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
ADJUSTMENTS TONIGHT.

PROVIDENCE OPERA HoUsE-fIodge Podge e co.
KETTTfs continuous performance
TtiEATRE-'"The Power Behind the Throne
OLYMPIC ArRE-Europesn Sensation Buresque Co
WESTMINSTER and Fennesseys Ranibers
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14
FUNERAL SUPPLIES.

Full line at reduced prices. can
upwards; frst-class carriages with
careful and experienced drivers at
the lowest prices.
THoS.. McA,CRROUGH.
~ Fenner ST.. Opposite the Cathe,
dral.
Telephone No. e236.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-01-14

"1'hc Fee system. which gives the
consul general az London almost twice
as murh as the SALARY of our amhas.
sador in thpt city aud which gives
five consm general at Paris several
THOUSAND dollars more annually than
the SALARY Of The bmhassador to
France. should be abolished a. h
done by Senator Lodges hil AIDE
gwfe salaries shouid he given 90 CON
ruis GO cyeit Iis'e where = ,onsu ~
maintained. PhilsJslpAl@ prcss.