The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-10-28
A Fust Rank Hotel.

| according to Colonel Luridson of
Kentucky. From Warwick of the
Knobs" Published by permission of
DOdd, Mead & Coz
'"WeH, sab. some people think they
know what makes a fust-rank hotel,
but l tell you, gents, there is no use
in leaving Ole Virginny or Kaintuck,
If you want to live high, sab. 1 have
tested the mattah, sab, and am not
talking at random. Some years ago
l was travelling through the north, san,
and fell in company with a very polite
man, who was compIainin' about the
board down south. He had been
through the south once, and in a very
genteel way announced that no hotel
south could be called fust-class. [ took
issue with him. as in honah 1 was
bound to do. and asked him if he
thought the city of Cincinnati, which
we were approaching, could brag of a
fust-class hotel. Yes, he said, the
Spencah House could not be beat any
whah in the world for genteeI refine
ment, or for fust-class accommodate
tons. took out my pocket book, sab,
and told that gent, my pile aginst his,
the Spencah House where we proposed
TO stop. was not in the fust rank sah
and that any tavern south could give
1t pointers concerning accommodation
due gentleman. sab. He pushed back
the money, but said that since we wah
both intending to stop there. we could
easily test the mattah without bet
ting.
All right sab, you ordah the rooms.
and if all the arrangements for a gem
tleman's comfort are to be found in
them, the treat will be on Luridson.
sah.' 1 found that the Spencah House
was finely arranged tavern in some
respects; there was apparently little
TO be desired sab. but when that little
Is the essential part of life, the super
huities do not count. There wah car
pets on the fioah of the halls; there
wah niggerS in every corner of the
office; there wah as polite a gentle
man, with as neat a shirt bosom and
az fine pin as you ever saw, sab. be-
hind a hotel desk. Take the gentle
men to their ROOM he said. and, adj
dressing me. if there is anything want
Ing, let me know. sah.'
Certainly. sah'
AS soon as L stepped into the room I
saw 1t a glance that no prepare tions
for real comfort had been made There
was a richly dressed bed. sab: a fine
looking glass, a bureau fit for a we'd
ding trip. lace curtains, thick CARPET.
two or three rugs, sab; hot and cold
water to wash with-to wash with sah
The stranger stepped into the room as
I did. and stood watching me as 7
turned from one object to anothah.
looking for the very necessarfes of life,
and at last. as | turned back to him.
he asked: Anything wanting?'
There is, sab. 1t is as I told YOU.
The room is for misses and children.
and the fusJ requisite for gentIeman's
est and comfort is wanting from this
t-vern, sab. When you get north of
the river sab, as I told you. there is
nc evidence of true hospitality, sah.'
He stood looking at me- as if light
ming had shocked him.
The place speaks for itself 1 said,
and L pointed to the washstand. There
is hot water, sab, but it is for the
babies to wash in, sab. There is a lone
some glass, one glass, my friend and
l pointed to the tumber one glass. A
gentleman expects company. sab. and
IL are the duty of a tavern keeper to
prepare to lodge gentlemen. There is
no sugah on the bureau; there is no
sugar on the WaShstand. Are we roust-
abouts; are our threats copper-linei.
san? When gentleman travels all
day and comes to his room with a
dusty throat, smoke-dry tongue,
parched lips and bottle of fine old
Bourbon in his vaIise, looking for home
comforts and hospitality such as he
pays for at 81 a day. he should have
some consideration shown him. No
sab, carpets and looking-g glasses are
wei enough in their place. but if a tav-
ern cannot afford comforts for a gentle
man Of culchah. it had better make
less display of such things as these
What's the use of hot water. if YOU
can't get a glass undah the spout. and
where's the comfort of life with only
one tumblah, no sugah, no mint and
two gents?
No, sab, the Spenca,f House is
outclassed by any Virginny or Kahn
lucky tavern with bare floors and wood
banisters, sab. She will have TO climb
up highah, sah.'"