davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28
< BY George Ade

the Blood Relation, and they bled him.
The Cables charged him three times
the regular Tariff for a Four Wheeler.
He discovered that Nasal Accent was
Expensive. Somehow, every one seemed
TO know that he was one Of those &c
centric Yankees. He was regarded as
a Millionaire just because he came
from America and talked in Loud
Tone He did not like to correct TINS
flattering Impression and explain that
he was merely a Bounder from BiId
Center who wanted to go 1t cheap 30
he Let Go rather freely, and the nrsI
thing he knew his Letter Of Credit be-
gan to look lOp-sided.
He went against the London Tailor
and bought a lot of strange Garb with
Cushions in the Shoulders. The Gar
ments did not fit him, but were said 20
be Durable. The Tailor said he cOuldn
Wear them Out, and after he returned
Home, he found that he did not dare TO-
After remaining in London for a
Week and getting fairly well acqualnl-
ed with a Waiter, he struck out Tor the
Continent, where they had been SAVING
ND all their Bad Money to give TO hlIn'
He did not know how to make change.
In the Excitement of Travel, ne forgot
b{s four French sentences and became
so T,ocoed that they did what they
pleased to him. He was from the u
=. A, where the Cuti Gi1g, . -
Bushes. and they felt at Liberty TO go
through him.
He was so busy scTapping over Bills,
looking up Time Tables, paying Excess
Baggage and sending illustrated Postal
Cards back to Bird Center, telling what
Grand Time he was having, that he
had very little Time for sights Still,
he managed to look into 400 Cathedrals
that looked just alike and had the same
damp Odor and he stood IN front OF
several thousand faded Masterpieces
and let on to Admire them. After
while all Scenery looked alike to him
and when a Guide tried to pull him into
a Gallery he resisted.
However. there was no escaping the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

vealed to us until the beginning of the
South African war, a struggle already
Of more and even stranger results than
the ruin of Britsin's military glory
Then it came upon men in a flash
that this was the thing he had always
meant and always apOtheosized-the
strong arm. the dominance Of brute in
stincts, the coarse, hard fiber Of mind.
the gross and material view of life, the
love of cruelty and savagery, the ne
cation of sympathy and brotherhood
the lust for power and land and wealth.
the right of might. the cynical indif-
ference to justice, the burden of strong
races upon the weak, the thirst for
preying and plundering.
With the Absent Minded Beggar"
the Illusion snapped like q thread. We
had not seen that under the wonderful
brilliancy and facinatiOn of the mans
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

I wonder if some one should sit down
10 read some day the history of the evil
wrought i'm the world by love. if he
could find any element in the whole
tragic story more tragic than that ele-
ment which would be included in the
general grouping of such Illustrations
as represent love unqualified by mtelli-
gent discrimination
The story OF the evils. i'm other words,
I'm domestic life and in the relations of
youth to one another. in the tounda-
tons Of families and the organization
OF great reforms, OF an enthusiasm
which has i'm it only the element Of pas
siOnate devotion TO a person or a cause,
is one of the most tragic passes in hui
man history. and if we could uncover
its meaning, the story of love with ig
E0rauCe, of love without Intelligence,
without knowledge, and passion with
out Judgment, the overwhelming force
OF a mere emotion which has swept
everything before 1t, because it has
never been qualified By the thoughtful
ness and seIf-resrraint that ask intelli-
gent questions and seek TO avoid mis-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28
Modern ao1es p

him Of. His Neighbors pounded him
on the Back and gave him a box of
LOttie Lees to smoke on the Trip be-
cause they had heard tell that it was
impossible to get a Good Segar away
from Home. They told him TO give
their Best to Ed, meaning his Gracious
Majesty, and to ask Kaiser Bill to take
one on thems and to tell the Pope
howdy- In fact, his Departure was
made regular Festival Of homegrown
HumOr, and he felt that he was some
thing Of a Public Character.
But when he boarded the Liner and
came up against the Sea-Dog who had
Heavy Weather and never had been
Sick, he shTank considerably. His
Plans for doing Great Britain and the
whole Continent in one Month did not
seem to excite any burning interest.
Whenever he pulled his Itinerary on a
Ship-Mate and began to explain how ne
was going to jump from Rotterdam to
Amsterdam and The Hague. all in the
same Afternoon, so as to save Time he
would be told that he ought to put in
at least Two Weeks in each City. After
that he would keep quiet for a while
The Voyage was not as much Fun
as he anticipated. A majority of the
Passengers lay about in a Coma tOse
Condition, rolled up in loud Rugs. The
others did numerous Laps around and
around the Deck. ike the Participants
in a Six-Day Match and spoke to no
one. The COaI-Dealer spent most of
his Time in somebody else's Steamer
Chair, sucking a Lemon and trying to
get his Mind off of the Rolling Mo-
tion.
In due time he landed on AIbion's
Shore, as he called it in writing to the
Home Paper He had read all about
the AngIO-SaxOn Alliance, and the
Friendly FapJiDer for Americans and
Blood Being thicker than Water He
expected the Duke of Newcastle-on-
Tyne to be down at the Dock with a
Union Jack in one Hand, a Starry Ban
ner in the other and an Invitation to
Marlborough House held in his Teeth.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

II q CW much is it worth 30 be a mans
- steady company by the year a
Long Island wOmIn has been
3 doing some figuring on the SUE
jet, and she estimates that S1.0O0
per aunum is no more than fair compen-
salon. For twenty years she was wOoed
oy diiatory Romeo, who courted and
eourte5. but never named she wedding
day. and finally espouse another.
Now the fOrsaken Juliet asks the courts
10 award her at the rate of S1.O00 a year.
TOT The time she wasted her sweetness on
me desert air. and when you take into
consideration the wear and tear on hope.
ana the strain on faith and affection in
vowed IN a long engagement, to say
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

rid herself of undesirable visitors, she
deserves OF suffer for her stupidity. It IS
another matter where young girls are
concerned, and many "A young woman
who started out with bright prospects of
belledom owes her collapsed social boom
to the man whose social attentions were
without intention.
Debutantes suffer most from this polite
piracy of time and opportunities. People
who take things they have no right 10
and for which they never intend paying,
seldom have any scTuple about helping
themselves to the best, and IL is invaT1a-
bly, the most attractive Of the season 5
buds that the man who never makes good
selects as the victim of his profitless de
vOtion He fills up her dance cards at
balls. he camps peTpetually on her attn
er's pariOr chairs, and he manages to es-
tablish an air of prOprietorship that IS
none the less real because intangible He
hasn't the faintest idea in the world OF
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

Neck and take it in the Jugular with
out a MUrmUr.
He began to count the Days until he
would see Bird Center again He
were hitched around the Court House
Square and no Building was more than
fifteen years old and everybody said
Hello. Bill"
In addition to being HOmesick he
was Hungry. He could not get his
Steak and Onions. At the sad Round
Up known as the Tobble DOte. they
passed him a lot of Trimmings that ne
could neither Pronounce nor Assimi-
late. He sat in the Forum at Rome and
lOnged for Rhubarb Pie. As he fioated
on the Grand Canal in Venice, he real
lied that Green Corn was coming into
the Market back in Bird Center, anas
the Blow nearly threw him out Of the
GCndOla. He stood in the Majestic
Presence of Mont Blanc and made an
Open OFFER of Seven Dollars for Cup
Of Mothers Coffee without any dag
gOned ChiCOTy in it,
1t was a joyous Day when the Coal
Dealer climbed into SiN-Day Boat
headed for Sandy Hook. He had used
the cable to get Two Hundred over and
above the Letter He didn't know
whether or not his Trip had Broadened
him. but he knew it had left him Shor'.
He realized that when he landed IN
New York he would be Searched as
Smuggler. and then SaudbaSged by a
Hackman. but he was ready to stand
for anything that wasn't done IN q
Foreign Language
The Latin Races may be on the De
cline. but they didn't refuse to take All
of Mine" said the Coal Dealer. as he
looked hack across the Vastly Deep.
THE only way 7 can get Revenge is 10
on hack to BIRD Center and talk Europe
for the next ten Years.
Moral: The Time to enjoy a Eu-
ropean Trip is about Three Weeks after
UnpaCkinG.
downright. 1901. by Robert Howard
RusSeiL)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

climate and soil to that from which it
has been imported. The explorer stud
les the methods Of cultivation employed
in the country from which the plant
comes and makes minute and detailed
reports to the expeTfmenters having it
in charge In some cases all the en-
ergies of the explorer would be devoted
to the study of a few crops, such as
hops, brewing barleys, raisin grapes,
drugs, date palms. rice or wheat. In
others the explorer would be chosen be
cause of his intimate knowledge Of the
agricultural needs and conditions of
given section of the United States and
would be sent to some foreign country
in which the climatic conditions were
similar. in order to introduce into the
specified region all or as many Of the
crops as would in his judgment be de-
sirable. 1t is often a hard matter for
an explorer to obtain the best sam
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

nothing to the damage done a susceptible
heart, IL doesn't seem cent too much
Being engaged is a luxury one should be
account so many men always dispute the
bill.
As a matter Of fact, courtship is like
great many other things in Ife-the
more you have of it, the less # IS worth.
It IS only when it comes N small and
explosive pscks gss that il IS really Of
any value. and there are many signs that
Indicate that women are beginning to
perceive that the linked sweetness long
drawn out of the long engagement ism Z
worth the price they have 10 pay for it.
There Is yearly All increasing number Of
breach Of promise suits, end Z looks as
If the sutton Of the future would De re
CURED, In sporting parlanCe, TO either
put up or shut Up.
In our sentimental age It Is impossible
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

style these were the springs of his
faith: the war and his view of il and
callous delight in it were all made
clear. Men perceived that the Recess
sionaP' z1s mere sound; that its au
thor had no heart in it. and that while
with front of brass hessang Of Chris
tan peace, he was casting about for
further feats of national brigandage
and shame that he might sing these
with all his soul.
In the narrower view. we may be
glad that the difference between Eng
fish civilization and American civii-
cation has been so sharply revealed
We may be glad to see so clearly
that we have not drifted so far from
the lines of progress that the destrUc-
ton of a brave people fighting for
liberty seems admirable. We can see
no glory in the triumph Of 100000 900
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

Of this American readers seem to
have made clear discovery. No swifter
fall from favor has been known in lit
erature. Four years ago this was the
most popular of living authors; today
the sale Of his books is merely nom
inal
In his own lifetime he has become a
name and a tradition. OF a collected
edition issued by an American pub
Usher two years ago, not enough sales
have been made to pay for the bind
ing, and for separate volumes the book
sellers report a demand almost imper-
ceptible.
At the libraries. it is said, that Kip
ling. once most in request is now less
read than any one of twenty American
authors.
Exactly what Kipling stood for in
the essence of his writing was not re-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

Africa. Of this there are now 500, 900
acres under cultivation in the state of
Kansas alone. and il is predicted that
within ten years there will be at least
ZOO, 900 acres Of it grown in that state.
The United States has now a set of
experts known as agricultural ex-
plOrers" roaming over the world spy
ing out the land with the design Of
transplanting the products thereof to
American soil. The list of agricultural
imports is looked over, and one of these
explorers" is sent into the country
from which we buy any considerable
proportion Of these imports to procure
samples of everything which that coun-
try produces of the best variety IN
either seed or plant. Then this seed
or plant is brought TO the United States,
and it is experimental with at some
agricultural station situated in a region
having as nearly as possible a similar
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

marrying her himself, but he keeps every
eligible man away
We often wonder why such and Sucn a
girl. whose beauty and wit render ner
unusually charming. is drifting INTO O q
maidenhOod when her less attractive SIS
tiers. are marrying we'll all about her- ana
esta bIishfnz themselves in life. Ninety
nine times out of a hundred the answer
is because she has been silly enough, or
unfortunate enough, to permit herSelI 70
he nOnOpolized by some man whose at
teutiOns were without intentions: Inc
managing mamma has been much derlded
in the public prints. but In real lie tHS
mother who knows her business IS the
most useful possession any girl can nave,
and her first care should be TO see that
her daughter does not get Side-tracked
into one of these social pockets
The matter is all the worse when. as IS
often the case the girl is pretty ana
charming, but poor and of an number
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

e learn thai the United States, the
granary of the world, which we
ara accustomed TO look upon as
'sing enough of agricultural
products to feed not only itself,
paJ 20 furnish the staff Of life 10 other
tIalons, imports approximately one
halt as much of agricultural products
~ lt exports. an amount =Qdaiing in
la-t- ~ per cent Of all the total farm
llolutJS IL raises, is rather a shock to
80 se.l..-oomDlaceucy- Yet such is the
So. So There Is no reason, however. why
tl.e amount of such imports should not
- GUY down TO almost nouni~g. We can
80 80 u this country almost every
i,-'.,,-s. an that is needed is that the
-.ea1AlnE plants should be introduced and
80. s-1. lnelr Introduction should be con
s s.,-.el along scientific lines 50 as TO
assure success
IL is the Introduction Of commercial
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

plants from other countries which has
made this country the great agricul-
tural land ii is. Jared G.. Smith of the
department of agriculture declares that
with the exception of the pumpkins
and a few grapes and small fruit, a
few forage plants, grasses and native
drug plants. every crop required for
the manifold needs of a diversified
farming industry and grown on a com
mercial scale in the United States has
been introduced from foreign cOun-
tries" This introduction has taken
place gradually, as the necessity or the
opportunity arose. It was not until
four years ago that the government
undertook the Introduction of seeds and
plants On a systematic scale Previous
to that. however, there had been many
introductions. some Of which were re-
markedly successful, as, for instance,
the introduction Of Kaffir corn from
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

But the Reception Committee failed to
Materialize. The Man from Bird Cen
ter rode up to London in a small Com
Dartment with several of our British
Cousins. He tried to be SOciafDle and
dab a little more Cement on the Anglo
Saxon Alliance, but they looked out at
the Landscape and did not seem in
clined to mix up with one who had not
been Presented. By the time tha Train
rumbled in among the Chimney Pots,
they had him Frozen as stiff as a
BOARD
After he had been on the Other Side
fCs about Week, he found out that #
he wanted to Talk TO any one, he could
go out and employ a Guide.
.till, there were some who recognized
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

OCBILESS there is something
sufficiently pathetic in the
~ passing of any one popular IA
Forite. The inevitable contrast
- 9.a days and new. of vanished honor
~. Present neglect, the potent re-
- OF the instability and vanity
- 1l human affairs-even tie over
geSf - OF heather idol must sug-
an, 'olle melancholy reflection.
81 .t When we hear Than i'm mis- conn
sra '-s works of Mr.. Rudyard KipIlng
MAJ no longer in demand. I submit
sfio--a aside from sentimental consider
an 1ne occasion is for thanksgiving
w ~ feeling of relief.
mrs may indulge this feeling without
n,i 1-''lee or malice. aud without de-
's Ut trying to obscure the splendid
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

varieties which yield as much as ten
bushels above the average But seeds
and plants from foreign countries are
not necessarily valuable just because
they are foreign, a practical test IL
necessary to prove the value Of every
importation. Thousands of dollars are
thrown away every year by American
farmers, planters. fruit growers and
stock raisers in an attempt To reach
the unattainable-tO secure crops
which will place their growers in a pO-
sitfon of af1uence without effort, care
or attention.
Tn connection with the importation
of new commercial plants into this
country it is an interesting fact,
vOuched for by the scientists. that Of
more than 100000 species Of Towering
plants only a few hundred have been
brought under cultivation, and twenty
Of these supply the daily food require
ments of twO-thirds of the human race.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

that If he could pass himself off asa
German or Frenchman, he could travel
more cheaply. So he studied Phrase
Book Before he went away he could
say: Give to me one Ticket for Mar
settles" In French, so that he could
understand what he was driving at.
As for German. he had: can you not
English sDeak?' with both Shoulders
on the Carpet. After making these
Preparations he had his Name stenCiled
on a low bTOwed Steamer Trunk. Also
he secured a Passport which identified
him as a Male American, and requested
Foreign Powers to overlook all Breaks,
as he was from Bird Center
His Friends gave him d Farewell
Dinner. When he boarded the Train,
the entire Population was down to see
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28
By Max O'ReH

man gets a few white hairs, you are
ready to put her on the shelf" She
was widow. A man rather bald. who
had cOurted her when she was a young
girl, reappeared on the scene and asked
her, now that she was free again, to
marry him. She had kept a lock of his
hair. a souvenir of the poetic days OF
her youth. She refused him and even
returned to him that lock of hair she
used to prize so highly. We asked her
why she had done 50. Poor fellow, "
she exclaimed, me wants it SO badly"
Copyright. 1901. by ". r. Hearstl
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

to walk erect and deliberately; he has
no slOveniy ways; he has to shave his
beard and keep his hair well trimmed.
White hair adds nothing to the age Of
a man. but long white hair and beard
do terribly. After 40 a man should
always affect the military style. es-
pecially if he is bald. A man OF 90 or
So bald, with long white beard and
hair. may look highly respectable. with
his patriarchal and biblical appearance,
but all the remnants of youth very
good remnants. sOmetimes), and all the
piquancy are gone out Of him And let
me add that a woman with discreet
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

Hotel HoId-Up. He thought he had
learned a few Tricks in the Coal Bust
ness. but these Inn Keepers made MIN
look like a pale young Amateur
Wherever he stopped, smiling Man
aeer gave him the sleeve across the
Wind Pipe and went through ms
Pockets. If Breakfast was Francs.
he had 10 nav an Extra of Francs for
Wear and Tear on the Cutlery. At
tendance was charged in the Bill ana
vet every Employee had his Hand OUT
and demanded his Bit. They soaked
the Coal Dealer for Candles he dldn
burn. Not that he cared so nuch IoI
tbe Money but he hated to be Done.
After a couple of weeks, though, ne
got used to il and would extend MS
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28
The Passing of kiping. By Charles E. RUSSELL

over 200. 600 We are not stirred to
joy by the fan of little republic be
fore a huge empire.
We may think with pride also that
evidently we do not delight in cruelty.
We do not greatly care for brute
force, we are not charmed by the saw
age spirit Of aggrandizement-
We have some belief that suffering
calls more apF tears than for laughter
and we have no joy in battle for the
sake of battle, nor for the sake of
gold.
We are not of this mans race.
Moreover, in a broader view, here is
a sign of progress. The world has
known a time when the singer of blood
and battle and the glory Of physical
strength was the dearest Of all Tyr
lists We have passed from that state
as from the state of skin clothing and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

the work Of the stone hatchet
The world al heart has grown sick
of these things. It asks for literature
now. not so much the entertainment
of cIeverness as some note of help or
hope
From the reading of him no man has
ever arisen with any renewed sense
of the sOrrOwful state Of man. With
wider sympathy or with deeper feel
ing.
1t is better that such a man should
pass.
After all. one touch of the universal
heart is above all possible achieve
ments Of style. After all il is better
to pity than to be clever. After all.
sympathy is the soul of art After
all, il is only love than endures.
Copyright, 1901, by ". r. Hearst.)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

fiction; but how viii it interfere with
the question.
Let US suppose that both the men
and the women are handsome and in
the enjoyment Of perfect health. that
they have lived regular lives and taken
care Of themselves. that they are sound
IN every possible respect. I maintain
that up 10 4e they arr both as young,
as attractive, as appe5izing, if you viii
excuse the expression, as they ever
were before. If not more If men and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-07-28

ability of the man. Surely it is a Won
derful gift that has gone so far astray.
What powers of expression, what
strength and indomitable vigCr Of
style, what command of words mar
shaled and aligned with what skill
and variety Of resOurcei A vision SO
clear in some ways il so clcuded in
others, and the apparent possibility
of the gods own grace Of utterance-
all gone awry for the lack of a soul
and guiding spirit
and for this lack no gifts. no pow
as. no Rraces atone. It is the inward
spirit that determines the ultimate
value Of every artists work, and with
all his magnificent technical endow
ment the spirit aniDlGting kipling's
work vas always bad. always reac-
tionary. always indurating and blind
ing to him that read.