Waterbury Democrat., 1901-09-06
HER IDEAL MAN.

''I understand perfectly, Miss Ash ton. As am old enough to be your father, you thought that my point of view, though moss grown, might be interesting. This is an age in which | dignified importance is allowed even to the modern antique. As a modern antique, let me place myself entirely at your disposal"
 "Of course, if you are going to be horrid-"
 ''Pray don't run away, Miss Ashton, this is to be perfectly calm deliber- ation between youth and age. Noth- ing ruffies the surface of debate so rapidly as the least hint of impa- tience. If you would allow me to smoke-thanks very much. am now all attention
 "oh, if you are going to be formal and polite, Mir. Spencer, it makes eV- erything so stupid"
 'sLet me apologize at once for my politeness and my stupidity. Now, suppose begin this discussion instead of you"
 "How can you, when you don't even know?''
 We are sitting quite in the shade, Miss Ashton; except as defensive weapon, that parasol-"
 -sIf you are going to be tiresome, shall go in.''
 ''Well, I might just start the sub ject perhaps, and if you found me wandering from the point you might gently"
 Cannot you see that I am really serious, Mir. Spencer?"
 'I am sure you are, so will begin at once. You appeal to my ripe ex- perience. am 43. The vicar will con- firm this, he christened me. You, think, are IS. I beg your pardon, 19 last June. You are staying here un- der the care of your aunt. Your aunt is highly to be esteemed. You and both agree that the opinion of the estimable person is valueless on all practical questions. You, therefore, come to me. A younger man would feel hattered, while merely gather that, in your opinion, am not estima- ble."
 "Thank you, yes; that is a very comfortable way of putting it.s
 "Your encouragement. Miss Ash- ton, is gratifying. Let me see, where was I? An, yes, being 19, feminine and perplexed, you want advice. This seems to narrow the topics to two only, say either frock or love affair. Nowadays the man milliner is doubtless parsonage, but"
 ooh, it isn't froclx, MT. Spencer"
 'I feel so immensely reieved,i thought it would have been undenia- ply hattering if it had been a frock; however, we will take it for granted then, that it is love affair. Now, I think, Miss Ashton, that it is your. turn"
 'Oh, we'll, you see, you can perhaps hardly-at least, I mean"
 'sNo, see have not brought you to the point of huency yet, so will continue. For the purpose of this discussion, let us roughly divide love affairs into two groups-the first in which both parties are equally con- vinced. What they are convinced of would be a little tedious to specify. Let me, however, refer you to any third volume of any novel of the early Victorian period. The more re- cent works are not always orthodox The second group comprises those complications in which only one of the two parties-"
 Have you ever met Fred Norman, MT. Spencef?"
 "So it is Fred Norman, is it? Dear me. Met him? Yes, of course have. His place is only five miles of."
 'Yes, know, he was at the Ander- sons garden party-oh, and lots of other places"
 "He is comedy youth, and it is a pretty property"
 '.How stupid men are. You all think that because a man is young and good looking"
 About 5000 acres of the best mead ow land, believe"
 ''I wish you would not interrupt me, Mir. Spencer; you all think that | the whole sex must worship him."
 Pardon me, I never mentioned worship, or even hinted of love. To arrive at sound conclusion from a discussion such as this. it is necessary to duly marshal the facts. Kindly let me resume, Miss Ashton. The basis of our discussion is now youth, l good looks and the 5000 acres, prin- | cipally meadow land"
 'Mr. Spencer, hate you. won- der whether you were ever in love yourself"
 Miss Ashton, let me reassure you. am man with past. At four years of age, made matrimonial over- lures to my nurse; the good woman still lives, and my life is shadowed by this youthful indiscretion. But come, we are wandering from our moutons and the pasture land. Our problem now is a one-sided love affair, in which Fred Norman is heart broken, while you arc scathIess. Had it been otherwise, I should never have been consulted, I am sure"
 MT. Spencer, how clever of you to -o
 'sLet us confine ourselves to facts, please, Miss Ashton, and do remember that the property is 5000 acres in a ring fence"
 "Oh, bother the acresl Well, Mir. Norman wants me to let him know by what train I am going back to town on Wednesday. Now, do you think he would bel mean if l did, should be-You see, no girl in these --aT-A IL NN~~