Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
The Daily Short Story |
JOHN HENRY'S THEORY. {
49, BY c. E. CORSET.

uppLlCdDIe 10 every Occupation III IRE
You know have a stated income, and
when 1 was a bachelor I knew to n
penny where that money went. Very
convenient it was, too, for / was sure
what to count on when any extra ex-
pense came up. Now, don't want to
restrict you one bit, but it's nice TO be
exact and businesslike, and If we each
kept a little account book at the end
of year we'd know exactly how much
we'd spent and whether we'd got to
retrench or might expand a little. Now,
tomorrow night I'll bring home two
nice little books, and we'll account for
every penny in them and compare at
the end of each month"
The next evening, true to his word,
John Henry drew from his pocket two
pretty little leather bound books, a
blue one for Mrs. John and n red one
for himself. She was apparently recon-
ciled to the idea and was really en-
thusiastic over his purchase.
For several months all went very
smooth apparently, but the hours of
tears and pouts and sobs and rub
bings out and writings in again and
adding and subtracting which Mrs.
John spent in trying to make the ''re-
celved' and paid" columns balance
were not to be lost sight of in the
reckoning. John Henry knew nothing
of it. and any troubles he may have
had were expressed in an entirely diff
ferent manner and audible only to the
unresponsive ears of the office boy.
On the first evening of each month
~ T. In,
mutual trust and confidence, went
over together item by item the ac-
counts in the little books and discuss
ed the variations in the price OF beef
steak and the ACCESSIBILITY of intrust-
ing another vender of meats with the
care of the family larder. Also the
cost of keeping John Henry's cigar
box replenished. But Mrs. John al
ways ended by declaring she would go
without a spring bonnet rather than
have him smoke cheaper tobacco.
1T is so injurious, anyway, that one
must have the best If one smokes ut
ALL" she said.
One beautiful autumn day an old
school friend of Mrs. Johns came to
town and Immediately hunted up that
lady. Now. Mrs. John had intended TO
lunch that day on n sup and bite, for
the grocer had not come. and the cup
board very nearly resembled the pro-
verbal one of Mother Goose fame. So
when the friend made her appearance
perilously near the noon hour Mrs.
John was in Il fiutter. This woman
was one for whom John Henry enter
tanned a particular antipathy and also
one upon whom Mrs. John especially
desired to make a good impression.
She examined her purse. Yes, there
was plenty in ii. She would take her
friend down town to lunch at fash
ionable cafe. AS they were drinking
their after dinner coffee the friend
mentioned a popular play which she
particularly desired to see. Had Mrs.
John seen 1t? No! Mrs. John had not.
John Henry had intended to take her,
but there had been so many other
things to occupy the time. At the
friends suggestion to see it that after
noon Mrs. John meekly complied and
ended by buying two tickets instead of
one. When they came out, it was rain
ing, and the friend Immediately or
dered a carriage to take her to the sta
ton. There was nothing for it but
MIS- JOun " tue SldllOn
with her, and then she must needs
drive home and pay the bill as she
alighted at her own door.
When John Henry arrived that night,
his wife was i'm bed in a high fever and
suffering from severe headache. The
next day when she was able to hObble
about she got out the little blue note
book and, with tears blistering the
smooth white pages, vainly tried TO
make a balance. 1t was impossible to
put the whole amount of yesterdays
expenditures into the ''sundries" col
umn, and tell John Henry about it
she never would in the world. That
evening was the one for the monthly
reckoning, but before 6 o'clock, through
worrying. figuring and planning, Mrs.
John had worked herself almost into
hysteria. After dinner John Henry
smoked his cigar, but contrary to GUS
tom said nothing about the account
books. His wife looked at him won
deringly from time TO time, but he
seemed utterly unconscious. After
awhile she broke the silence.
John, DEAR" she said, with tears in
her voice. 81 couldn't make my book
balance this month, though I've work
ed over ii all the afternoon"
John Henry muttered an exclamation
under his breath which might have
sounded to the Office boy something
like THANK the Lordr" then turned
and looked at her.
And is it that which has worked you
into such fever and given you these
headachesY said he. ITO tell the
TRUTH" he continued, 81 couldn't make
mine come out right either, but it
didn't worry me to that extent. In the |
long run don't know that it does us
any good to be forever haggling over
the comparative values of an Irish |
stew and porterhouse steak or dis |
cussing the amount of enjoyment and |
hnnnfit Of q rnnulaI- fi,na Tor ti.I...+ NJ. |