The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-04-28
"MODEPN FABLES" by George Ade
CHE Modern Fable of h younSesf Gil
bury and tie Proud Colonial Stock on
The Jubb1eson ride - - * II * -

{ Copyrighted, 1901, by Robert Howard RUSSELL !

and Sue and the Old People sat A. ~.
bic and talked about the Cosmopo,,
Co~rrelative Forces Jimmy either lookes
his Plate or else pointed az the disbes
wanted pushed over his Way. As
he had bolted enough TO last him h. wo.ls
work n stealthy Escape By way ~ -
Kitchen. and on the way out lac wouls
mark to the Cook, who was his Pal 80.
the Gang in there gave him a sharp. 80
ing Pain.
Occasionally his Mother would
through his Clothes and discover one
these dog-eared Five-Cent Libraries th.,
was being handed around from Kid 10 "a
as long as it would hold together. II was
generally something about Handsome a.
~. the Boy Prize Fighter. and Jimmy,
Mother would come very near having
Duck Fit. 1t did seem strange TO her IA,
a Lineal Descendant of Ike Jubh,eson
should want TO read such demoralizing
Trash.
The Family held many Conferences n
worry over Jimmy's Future. There did no,
seem 10 be much Chance To pad out his
stunted Mentality so as 10 put him In tba
same Glass with Theodore and Sue. On; =
was decided TO give him as much Educa.
ton as he was capable OF taking on in the
Hope that at least he might turn out 10 bs
a Business Man or something like that.
Jimmy was sent TO a neighhoring FRESH
water College and told 20 follow IN the
Footsteps OF Theodore. but he lost the TRAN
the first Day.
Now. although Jimmy was hopelesslv
N. G.. in his Studies. he had not been vast
ing his Time while playing in Vacant Lots
with the Tough OUTFIT that lived over be-
yond the Tracks. He had developed an
Up-Shoot that fooled the Best Of them. and
he could slam them right over tie Die
every time. Give him a nice Chew Of SUM
and let him work up a gentle Precipitation
and he could wrap the Ball around the
Batter's Neck every time he let 90 Of Il
and Fan them out as fast as they were led
TO aim. So he became the Star Pitcher 81
the First Nine. The new South-Paw
Twirler was greeted with glad Acclaim 10y
the whole School. Small boys followed him
and talked about him I'm Whispers. lie
had his Picture in the Monthly. and the
College Girls made Sofa Pillows for him,
and everybody said he was a Nectarine. As
a Public Character and Popular Idol he
made Theodore and Sue and the rest Of his
People look Small and Cheap. on the Night
after he won the intercollegiate Champion
ship for the Team by retiring all the
Wanted Batsmen Of the Rival Institution
the whole Mob OF Students came around
TO the Tilbury Place and tore down the
Fence and ran over the Flower Beds and
whooped and yowled and wanted 10 know
what was the Matter with Jimmy. The
Band played "A Hot Time and Jimmy had
to make a Speech and they gave him nine
Rails and there were high Doings until far
into the Night. The other Tilburys were
hiding around in different parts Of the
House feeling sort of Dazed.
Jimmy's Fame was spread abroad by the
Associated Press. and presently a League
Manager came along and Signed the Celeb
rity at a Figure representing about four
times what Theodore got for being a Pro-
fessor and at least twice as much as Father
could pull out in "A Year even when Things
were coming his Way. Jimmy went out on
the Circuit and began 10 get his Name
sprinkled all through the Baseball Column.
The only way Theodore could have got
his Name into the Papers would have been
by going out into the Street and letting
something run over him. Jimmy mailed all
the Sporting Papers home TO Sue so that
she could study the Scores and see that he
was a Credit to the Family.
Thus the obscure Name OF Tilbury was
lifted to Renown, Mr.. Tilbury now has a
once removed Hold on Fame. for he is
pointed out everywhere as the Father OF
Jimmy, the left-handed Wizard. Mrs. Til
bury attracts Attention every time she gets
on a Car. Theodore now commands more
Respect from his Pupils. for they are truly
Proud to be instructed by one whose
Brother can throw a Cork-Screw Curve and
put Whiskers on IL. AS for Intellectual
Sue, whenever she meets a Stranger the
stranger always asks. Are you related TO
the Great Tilbury?"
Moral-Most OF US get our Real Start out
side OF the Home Circle.