The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-27


The little man stood on the corner
buried so deep in thought that he COM
pletely forgot to hitch his arms; and
his cuffs, surprised at the neglect, were
attempting to crawl back beneath his
coat sleeves. True he did lift his hat
and rub his shining pate, but he was en-
tirely unconscious of his surroundings.
He did net heed the approach Of a
brother reporter, and jumped about a
foot in the air when slapped on the
back.
Hello, Hotstuff,' . smiled his friend.
what seems to be the trouble this even
ing?'
The smile evidently won the little man,
for he started to tell his tale of trouble.
He had been with a party of business
men. They were buying and he was
willing to participate, but he did not
have a single penny. Right soon after
he had secured the marriage license his
wife had elected herself president and
| cashier Of the firm, and without cent
he found himself compelled, through
common decency, to stand on the corner
while the business men kept things going
inside the drink emporium.
The brother reporter was long on SYM
| pathy, and taking the little man by the
hand led him to a quiet corner in
nearby tavern. The brother reporter
did his best to drive away the cares OF
the little man, and after the sixth
| straight one had been washed down, the
| little man was open to conviction.
There is just one thing about you
| that don't like" declared the brother
! reporter. You allow your wife to walk
I all over you without attempting to side
| STEP. You're hypnotized-that' what's
| the matter with you, you're hypnotlzed- .
| well, what am 1 to do?' Whimpered'
| the little man.
assert yourself Assert yourself.
| Go home and let your wife understand
that you are the boss. You do it once,
| and from that time on you will have
| things your own way
do you think SOP asked the little
| man as he hiched at his coat sleeves,
| and tried to assume a stern mien.
| "Of course 1 do insisted the brother
reporter, land now I'll tell you some
| more things Your wife catches your
| eye and you are helpless. When you go
home to assert yourself don't look at her.
| Above all things don't let her catch your
| eye
s'I'n do it," declared the little man. as
| he lifted his hat in the air, and patted
! his bald spot.
| .'Well, you want to do it right away,
ordered the brother reporter. Come on,
| 1 will walk home with YOU.
| The little man was aroused this time.
! He saw glorious freedom in front of him.
| Freedom was to be his if he could dodge
his wife's eye. Again the abused cuffs
] felt themselves yanked out from the
| ends of the coat sleeves and the brother
reporter and the little man started up the
| street
| AS several stops were made on the way
! the little mans home walk consumed at
| least an hour At last the fiat was
| reached and peering in through the front
| window the little man and the brother
reporter saw the little mans wife enter
| tanning neighbours wife in the pario1,
Now is the tine,' whispered the
brother reporter go in and declare
yourself right in front of the company.
That will make it stronger.
The brother reporter expected the Its
tie man to balk, but he was still aroused
and with a whispered watch me- he
staggered up the stairs. After some diff
ficulty he pushed the latch key into the
lock and then the front door slammed
and the little man disappeared from
sight.
But only for a moment Watching
through the half drawn blind the brother
reporter saw the parlor door open and /
then saw the little man stumble into the
room. He saw the little mans wife
spring to her feet.
ssYou drunken wretch he heard her
scream what do you mean by comIns
home and into the parlor in this con-
dition?''
."Th'as all right" shouted back the lit
tie man. I'm here to sert myself I'm
goin' run sh' roost from now on and
staggering over to the fireplace the lit
tie man picked up a lump of soft coal.
The brother reporter chuckled as he
noticed the little man refusing to allow
his wife to catch his eye.
go to your room at once" ordered the
little mans wife, pointing her finger
toward the door.
mot me-, hiccoughed the little man.
I'm goin' start someshing right here"
and he waved the lump of coal in the air.
The little mans wife looked about to
start something on her own account, but
before she could move the little man
waved his arm and with a wild yell of
Die. woman heaved the lump of coal
He missed his aim, but grabbed up
another piece of the fuel and heaved
again.
The second lump caught the little mans
wife square in the back and she TOPPED
over onto the floor.
"Whoop, WOW, vow howled the little
man as he attempted to dance lig.
Come on in, Bill, I've killed her, I've
killed her.
The brother reporter had not expected
this and he had already started UP the
steps intending to corral the little man
before real murder was committed. He
heard the shout of delight and fearful of
the worst, rushed in through the door of
the fiat.
Then he stopped short, and then, with
out a word, he backed out of the door
and made for the street; for instead of
seeing the badly mangled form of the lit
tie mans dead wife he saw the wife hard
at work hypnotizing her husband.
In attempting his jig the little man had
stumbled and before he could regain his
feet his wife had located resting place
on his stomach. On her way across the
room she had secured a broom and with
the hard end of the adirt mover she was
deeply interested in an attempt to POKE
the little man in the eyes.
The brother reporter saw the eolored
optics when the little man limped in for
work the next morning.
s.Hotstuff'' he said with a sad shake
of his hear, '.you let her catch your eye"
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