The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-04-01
SIMON SHORTS SON SAMUEL.

SIMON SHORTS SON SAMUEL.
 We expect to be called to account in
 not less than a dozen letters for pub fishing the following nonsense, but the little story is such a good example of perseverance on the part of the school { girl who wrote it, and also displays so finely the wealth of our English vocab- u1ary, that we venture to print it, re- collecting that
 "A little nonsense, now and then, Is relished by the wisest men!"
 Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes. Seventeen summers, speeding storms, spreading sunshine, successively saw Simon's small shabby shop still stand ing staunch; saw Simon's self-same squeaking sign still swinging, silently specifying: "Simon Short, Smithf1eld's sole surviving shoemaker. Shoes sewed, soled superfinely." simon's spry, sedulous spouse Sally Short, sewed skirts, stitched sheets, stuffed so- fas Simon's six stout, sturdy sons, Seth, Samuel Stephen, Saul, Silas, Sha- drach, sold sundries. Sober Seth sold sugar, starch, spices; simple Sam sold saddles, stirrups, screws; sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins, shawls; skeptical Saul sold silver salvers; sell Ash Shadrach sold salves shoe strings soap, saws, skates; slack Silas sold Sally Shorts stuffed sofas.
 Some seven summers since, Simon's second son, Samuel, saw Sophia Sofro- mia Spriggs somewhere. Sweet, sensi- bIe, smart Sophia Sofronia Spriggs. Sam soon showed strange symptoms. Sam seldom stayed storing selling sad dies. Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia Sofronia's s society, song several serenades slyly. Simon stormed, scold- ed severely, said Sam seemed so silly singing such shameful, senseless songs. Strange, Same should slight such splendid sales! Strutting ependthrift! Shattered -brained simpleton!"
 Softly, softly, sire said Sally. sSam's smitten; Sams spied some sweetheart"
 Sentimental schoolboy!" snarled Si- mon. "Smitten! Stop such stuff" Si- mon sent Sally's snuff-box spinning, seized Saly's scessors smashed Sally's spectacles, scattering several spools. "Sneaking scoundrel Sams shocking stiffness shall surcease" Scowling, Si- mon stopped speaking, starting swiftly shopward Sally sighed sadly Sum- n1oning Sam, she spoke sweet synpa- thy
 Sam" said she, "sire seems singu- 1arly snappy; so, sonny, stop stroling streets, stop smoking segars, spending specie superfluously; stop sprucing so; stop singing serenades; stop short; sell saddles; sell saddles sensible; see So- phia Sofronia Spriggs soon; she's sprightly; she's stable; so solicit; sue, secure Sophia speedily, Sam
 "So soon? So soon?" said Sam, standing stock still.
 .'so soon, surely" said Sally, smiling ly; Especially since sire shows such spirits.
 So Sam somewhat scared, sauntered slowly, shaking stupendously. Sam soiiloquizes: Sophia Sofronia Spriggs, | --Short, Sophia Sofronia Short,-Sam- uel Shorts spouse,-sounds splendidly; | suppose she should say,-She shant,- she sha'nt.''
 Soon Sam spied Sophia etarching shirts singing softly. Seeing Sam she stopped etarchng, saluting sam smil- ingly. Sam stammered shockingly
 "spl-spi-spendid summer season, so- phia.'
 "somewhat sultry," suggested So- phia.
 "Sar-sartin, Sophia" said Sam. (Si- Hence seventeen seconds)
 Selling saddles still Sam?"
 "Sar-sartin," said Sam, starting sud- denly. "Season's somewhat sudorific," said Sam, stealthily, staunching streaming sweat, shaking sensibly.
 0sartin," said Sophia, smiling signif- icantly. "Sip some sweet sherbert, Sam" (Slence sixty-six seconds.)
 Sire shot sixty shelldrakes, Satur- day" said Sophia.
 sixty? sho." said Sam (Silence seconos.)
 See sister Susan's sunflowers," said Sophia, specially silencing such stiff si- lence.
 Sophia's sprightly sauciness stinula- ted Sam strangely; so Sam suddenly spoke sentimentally. Sophia, Susans suDflowers seem saying, Samuel Short, Sophia Sofronia Spriggs, stroll serene ly; seek some sequestered spot, some sylvan shade. Sparkling springs shall ( sing soul-stirring strains; sweet songs , ters shall silence secret singings; super angelic sylphs shall-!" Sophia snick- cred, so Sam stopped.
 Sophia" said Sam, solemnly.
 "Sam," said Sophia.