davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
The True Poker Flint.

In 1872 Poker Flat produced 100000
III gold bullion in Il single month and
celebrated the event with a triple hang
ing. Then came the public spasm OF
virtue which caused the John Oak
hursts and the ''outcasts Of Poker Flat
to depart from thence and die of cold
and starvation on the snow bound road
to Sandy Bar There are no coax
hursts" nor Uncle Billys' in Poker
Flat today. and when the stranger
makes the slow descent and suddenly
by sharp turn in the trail comes upon
the famous camp he finds III that hud
die of cabins little to remind him Of the
Poker Flat of 1852.
The famous slope presents almost q
picture of utter ruin. There are but
eight persons living in the old town,
while hundred dead ones sleep in the
cemetery. Some of the graves are
marked with wooden headboards. some
with stakes, but many have nothing
above them. Nearly all of them were
laid to rest without religious rites save
Bible reading by old Charlie Pond,
who, though professional gambler,
was selected for the religious office
owing to his excellent voice and ora
torical ability.
In 1858 and 1861 there We're 2,0OD
souls in Poker Flat and IL stores, . ho-
tells. 3 dance halls and Z gambling
houses. There is but one man left to-
day of that original company. He is an
old and grizzlcd veteran, who delights
to tell how in 1886 circus came to
town and sold 1900 tickets of admis-
sion at 500 cach.--W. NJ. Clemens i'll
Bookman.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Resented the Allegation.

Two men zigzaggcd unsteadily down
Long street the other morning shortly
after midnight. 1t was a case of unit
ed we stand, divided we fall" Each OF
course was trying to steer the other
safely home. AT length No. l came up
against pole and held fast. No. 9
tried in vain to pull him forward. Then
No. l became impatient ut the others
obstinacy and spoke very frankly:
"Shay, -hic-you're a slump
thash what you are! I've seen worse
men 'n-hic-you in jail!"
This was more than No. 2 could
stand. lie felt that his honor as gem
tleman had been sullied. and, bracing
himself stitlly. he replied. with spirit:
''If you shay you've hic-secn worse
men N me in Jail. why-hic-you're q
liar, thash what you are"-Ohio State
Journal,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
sleepinr Car Ethics.

1t seems that there Is an unwritten
code Of sleeping car ethics which has
its fine distinctions. The International
says: '"The seasoned traveller enters
the Pullman ms If it were a room in a
club with which he Is familiar, but
which he has not visited for some time.
He slows away his belongings. accord
ing to his habit. puts on his travelling
cap and pair Of light shoes or slippers
and overgaiters. gets out his newspa-
pers and book and. not forgetting his
smoking outfit, Is ready to be COM
Portable. Be 1t remembered that IL
slippers be donned they must always
be accompanied by overgaiters. for
without these latter the slippered foot
is not permissible under the unwritten
law Of sleeping car travel"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
For Exercise Why Not walk,

The best exercise in the world is
walking.
A person who knows how to walk in
telligently can get along without n
gymnasium. No other form of exercise
brings so many muscles into play and
develops thcm so normally. The most
popular games arc those in which
walking forms prominent part. Golf,
croquct and in a sense cricket and even
bicycling merely give an excuse for
walking.
Every one knows how to walk prop
crly. 1t is because of carelessness that
so many walk badly. The body should
be carried erect the chest we'll out the
head back, while the arms should
swing freely ut the sides. Tho pace
should be regulated to ones strength.
Every one should walk fast enough
and far enough to get the body in a
comfortable glow. To get the best re-
suits from walking one should give his
undivided attention to 1T. In other
words, lie should walk for the pleasure
of it and not carry worries with him
Excessive walking is injurious. New
er walk just after a heavy meal or aft
ter violent exercise. And after walk
1t is we'll TO rest for 10 or Is minutes
before taking up severe mental work.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Duttcred side I'm

One of the stories which Levi Hutch
ins. the old time clockmaker of Com
cord. N. H., delighted to tell related to
the youth of Daniel Webster.
"One day." said the old man. "while
was taking breakfast at the tavern
kept by Daniels father Daniel and his
brother Ezekiel, who were little boys
with dirty faces and snarly hair. came
to the table and asked me for bread
and butter.
II complied with their request, little
thinking that they would become very
distinguished men. Daniel dropped
his piece of bread on the sandy floor,
and the buttered side Of course was
down. He looked at 1t moment, then
picked it up and showed it to me, say
ing:
"'Nhat n pity! Please give me n
piece Of bread buttered on both sides;
then if let it fall one of the buttered
sides will be up"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
A Day Dream Of Tenny.on.

In the Life of Tennyson" occurs the
following:
"a kind of waking trance have fire.
quently had, up from boyhood, when
have been all alone. This has generally
come upon me through repeating my
own name two or three times to myself
silently, till all Mt once, as 1t We're out
Of the Intensity of the consciousness
of individuality, the individuality itself
seemed to dissolve and fade away into
boundlcss being, and this not IN n con-
fused state, but the clearest of the
clcarest, the surest of the surest, the
wcirdest OF the wcirdcst, utterly be-
yond words. where death was an al
most laughablc ilnpossibility. the loss
of personality Qf SO it were) seeming
no extinction but the only true life.
This might be the state which st. Paul
describes, whether in the body cam
not tell, or whether out of the body
cannot tell.' am ashamed of my fec
lie description. Have l not said the
state is utterly beyond words? But in
Il moment when come back to my
normal state of sanity am ready to
fight for mcin licbcs Ich and hold that
| 1t will last for nons and Nons."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
The Lasy, stupid sha1.

The shag Is the LATEST and most stu
pid form Of life to he found anywher,
on the globe. 1t is IN aquatic fowl
with big, clumsy looking beak and witt
q form something like the dodo, nov
extinct" said western man. II hav..
spent much time in watching this foy<
which is found in some Of the shal''
lakes. and the chief point of int q
to me was the startling stupidit es-
played. They generally soy. on
stumps or logs in the lake an/c1itch
Tor the smaller fish that plaf>s ound
the surface Of the water. y are
fairly clever in catching It they
want, and they throw. ef neir Dill
with considerable precisif Ihen they
gig for game. But they. 2ver get to
eat what they catch unt hey have fed
at least one and mayE siore than one
member Of another Ii :of water FOWL.
whenever n shae ,'egins to catch
fish. a long legged ig necked water
hen will take q n Immediately be-
hind him. WhenS shag lands fish,
the water hen ST 1y reaches over and
getsS It. Witho any show Of resent
ment anu ,r.,t 1T turning around, the
shag will continue its watch Cor fish,
md this is kept up until the water hen
has finished q meal, and then. IL no
other enterprising member OF the same
tribe comes along, the shag Is permit
ted to enjoy the product Of its own
sleepy efforts.
II have on one occasion seen one shag
feed as many us three water hens be-
fore eating single fish. 1t Is certain
" a singular display of stupidity, and
after having watched the performance
q number Of times am convinced that
the shag is actually too dull to even
know that the water hen stands be-
hind him to steal the fish out Of his
New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
The New Rabbit.

"Why, where did you come from,
Uncle Jasper?" said to the old darky
who had sent the house girl in to tell
me that he wanted to see me-
II come FUN Decatur, Miss Alice"
he said. II got to Atlanta bout two
hours ago, but didn't low you wus
ready to see nobody"
"Did you come on the train?"
asked.
NO, ma'am; dat didn't. i come in
OH de rabbit -
"On what?'
"On de rabbit. You sholy done hccrd
cr de new rabbit dey's got"
"oh," | said, "you mean the rapid
transit?"
"Ycssum, dc rabbit transhunt Dat's
whut | tol' YOU. She amt de color cr
no rabbit'- bursting into laugh "but
she sho do git ober dc groun' lal one. :"
-Leslie's Weekly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Where American. Are Modest.

The American is shy of proclaiming
to the world his deepest sentiments and
snpcrstitions, if he has any. He pre-
fers to take himself either as joke or
as matter of business. Hence when
he has town to name he calls it
"Smithville" or New Bristol" or, as
actually happened in the case of one
town, 20. *" He may believe in To-
cal ghost, he may love his wife, lie may
admire the view from his windows and
pine when torn from the woods and
mountains among which he passed his
boyhood, but he does not want to put
those emotions into the postottice d.
rectory.-Washingto Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Pigeons, Nests.

A curious preference OF certain pi-
gcons for the use of metallic objects in
building their nests is noted by NJ.
Maurice Dusolier in The Revue Scen-
tifique. He assures us that several
pairs of these birds that he has obsery-
ed in Paris have raised their young in
nests made entirely of hairpins! These
articles they collected in the paths Of
the Luxembourg. The young pigeons
grew up normally us they would in u
softer nest. NJ. Dusolier believes that
there is n useful suggestion in this for
pigeon fanciers, who are often over
anxious, he thinks, to see that their
charges have soft material for their
nests.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
The SUN.

Astronomers tell us that refractory
elements like iron, silicon and carbon,
perhaps dissociatcd into simpler sub
stances, are present as vapors in the
atmosphere Of the sun and that many
others of our well known elements, in
cluding hydrogen. are also present in
this glowing atmosphere, while the
heat Of the SUMS surface and that of
the hotter stars is vastly higher than
that Of the electric furnace.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Immediately suspiclous.

why did you terminate your inter-
view with that professional politician
so abruptly?" asked the confidential
man.
''IIe made me suspicious at The out
set" said Senator Sorghum. II don't
care how much prevarication my as
sistants use toward other people, but
want them to be frank aid honest with
me. The first thing that man ,lid,was
to tell me a falsehood. lie said hewas
working from disintcrcstcd motives
and didn't want money! Washington
Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
1,h.. IacLeY,. Ro..x.

~she bogy Of Jockeys life is 'tak-
ing Oh fesh.'" says 4Ainslee's. "FIc
breads this as beauty breads to lose
her charms. and his whole thought
from the age Of 16 to % is to avoid the
catastrophe. This is the pcrnicious
feature of tie life and distinguishes it
as healtNful sport from boxing or
from football. in which the physical
being is developed according to the
laws of nature and is not outraged or
balked. In order to reduce his weight
nine pounds Monk Ovcrton once re-
mained in Turkish bath from 10 p.
m. one day until p. m. the next, with
no nourtshment except cup OF tea
and some toast.
Again, Mike Bergen, mounted on q
favorite. rode such n poor race that the
tigate and punish him for fraudulent
riding. They forgave the performance.
however. when they found him col
lapsed and unable to speak. knowing
TINT he had to ride Mt a certain weight,
Bergen had spent 4S hours in q Turk
ish bath. eating nothing whatever.
When he reached the track, he was so
weak that Il stimulant was necessary.
The one drink Of whisky he took so
demoralizcd his faculties that he could
scarcely keep his seat in tho saddle.
"Such violation of physical devel-
opment at the age when n boy should
be most rapidly maturing makes it diff
flcult for jockey ever to become ro-
bust. Moreover. the mere riding of a
race Is terrible drain on the nerve
force Of a jockey. A boy may lose q
pound Of weight in hard race"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
a SANDER.

Grecnc-They say that Senator Keen
cr is on the make. They even go so far
as to say that that new house of his
was given him in payment for his
vote.
Gray-It puts me all out of temper
to hear such slandcrs! 1t is as far as
possible from the truth! know all
about it. 1t was this way: Some people
who We're interested in certain bill
bet him that house that he would vote
against the bill, and he didn't and won
the house. That was all there was
about it. The fdea Of Nccncrs being
open to bribery Boston Transcript.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Would Rather smoke Than Eat.

cone day." writes an American In
Havana, II came across an old Cuban
woman sitting disconsolatcly on rock
near MORO castle. She told me in
Spanish that for three days she had
had nothing to eat but a loaf of bread
and coffee. She looked it. gave her
Il Spanish dollar and followed in her
wake. She entered the first cafe she
came to and bought a drink and ci-
gar. couldn't help laughing to see her
as she walked along the street, putting
away at the weed purchased with my
money. She seemed perfectly content
ed. The Cubans, even the women,
would rather smoke than eat. They
take only two meals Il day, breakfast
about 10 o'clock and dinner ut In the
afternoon"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Tarantula. Are Enemies.

Tarantulas are considered deadly foes
to each other and arc seldom found in
company. When imprisoned together.
there is fight, one succumbs and Is
eaten by the victor. Nature has done
a service in making the tarantula so
hideous and formidable looking an OBJ
ject. Indeed, 1t is owing to this repul-
siyeness that no greater number of per-
SONS are stung. The sight Of the great.
hairy spider crawling near by will
cause a cold. creeping sensation down
the back of almost any one.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Why He Didn't Co to Church.

A Scottish minister who was indefat-
igable in looking up his folk one day
called upon parishioner. Richard"
he said II hae ma seen ye at the kirk
for some time and wad like to know
the reason"
"Wecl. SIR" answered Richard. ''I
hae three decided objections to goin-
firstly, dinna believe in bein whaur
ye does a the talkin; secondly, l dinna
believe in ST. muckle singin. an, thirdly
an in conclusion. twas there l got my
wife. Albany Argus.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Took No Chances.

"I'll tell you how it is. parson." said
the board Of trade clerk. you've mar
ried us, and you'll admit that it is a
good deal Of a speculation. Now, I'll
pay you 50. the regular fee, now and
call 1t square or I'll wait GO days and
pay you what experience teaches me
the Job Is really worth to me. even II
it's $780,"
The clergyman looked long nnd car
nestly at the energetic, determined
young woman and sighed.
Give me the So" he said.-Chicago
Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
when California Wa. Unknown.

When California Was Unknown,
In an old geography printed in 1915
appears the following: California is a
wild and almost unknown land.
Throughout the year 1t is covered with
dense fogs. as damp as unhealthful.
In the interior are volcanoes and vast
plains OF shifting SHOWS, which some
times shoot columns to great heights.
This would seem nearly incredible
We're it not for the well authenticated
accounts Of travellers"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
A seriou. compI.int

What made you leave your place VIII
dat gemman?" asked Miss Aliam
Brown. didn't he pay you rlght!"
"Yes," answered Mr.. Erastus Pink
ley. "He paid fus' rate, but his clothes
was SO out Of style dat was almost
fohced to keep out of society."-Wash-
ington Star.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
HI. Age.

Being asked his age, colorcd citi-
zen in Billville district replied:
"Wcll, sub, some older dan dat pine
tree yander, lii bit younger dan dat
live oak by de gate Ell not quite SO OIL
cz de house whar l livin at. l amt
much on figgers myself. but you kin
count up en- see"-Atlanta Constitu-
ton
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
A Day Of Rest.

How thankful we should be for one
days rest in seven. All we have to do
on the Sabbath is-split the wood, light
the fire, dress the children, feed the
mule. read the paper. figure up how
much we've lost during the past week
and then go cheerfully to meeting
Atlanta Constitution.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18

The fig is the favorite fruit among
animals. and horses. cows. hogs. sheep
and goats will eat this fruit as readily
as man. The elephant considers It a
dainty, while all the fowls greedilyide-
your figs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
An 1ncorrisible.

"If there ever was terrible child in
this world" remarked the worried
mother, "he's one"
"Whats his particular faultT'
"Do what I will, can't break him Of
the habit Of telling the truth right out
when we have company."-Philadel-
phia Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Don,t Belieye Avn You r,e.r.

A man in railway carriage was
snoring SO loudly that his fellow pas
scngers decided to awake him. One
particularly sensitive old gentleman
shook up the sleeper with IL start.
whats the matter?" he exclaimed.
"Why, your snoring is annoying cv-
cry one in the carriage" said the old
gentleman testify.
"uow do you know Tm snoringY'
why, we can't help but hear it."
"Well. don't believe all you hear"
replied the culprit and went to sleep
ngain.-LOndon Standard.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
The skate Fish.

The ray, or skate fish, has a mouth
set transyersely across its head. the
jaws working with rolling motion
like two hands set back to back. In
the Jaws are three rows of fiat teeth,
set like n mosaic pavement, and be-
tween these rolling Jaws the fish
crushes oysters and other lnollusks like
so many nuts.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
nimcnlt tn rrcnt.

"Well, what is the matter with your
husband?" the physician asked as lc
laid down his repair kit and removed
his gloves.
Imaginary insomnia" replied Mrs.
FosdIck.
Imaginary insomnia?" repeated 1.-THE
physician inquiringly.
That's what it is. He thinksl he
doesn't sleep at night, but he gets ilots
more sleep than l do."-Dctroit Free
Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
a philaannher

Wife-There's burglar down cellar,
Henry.
Husband-Well. my dear, we ought
to be thankful that we are upstairs.
Wifc-But he'll come up here.
Husband-Then we'll go down cellar,
my dear. Surely a ten room house
ought to be big enough to hold three
people without crowding.-Detroit Free
Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
ncarsny Evidence.

Judge Ito witness)-Let me remind
you that your evidence in this court is
given upon oath. so that you will only
be allowed to state what you know
from your own observation and not
what other people have told you. In
the first place. you are medical prac-
titioner?
Witness-I cannot say that am, my
lord. l only know 1t from hearsay. T
have had no patients yet.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Not Satisfactory.

'Mose." said Mr.. subbubs, 81, want
you to clean out my cellar tonight"
"'Deed, sah." Nose protested, II
KANT do no wuck laik dat ut night. sab.
dat would be satisfactory to yo', sah."
"Why, not? You've often cleaned
out my chicken coop at night"
'Yes. sab; but reckon dat wuzn'
satisfact'ry to yo', sah."-Philadelphia
Record.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Thex Hadn.t Made up.

"Well." said he. anxious to patch up
their quarrel of yesterday, "aren't you
curious to know what's in the pack
ageY"
mot very." his wife. still unrelent-
ing, replied indifferently.
ITS something for the one l love
best In all the world"
"Ah. suppose it's those suspenders
you said you needed. ."-Philadelphia
Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Misplaced ABILITY.

The young collcgian snapped his
watch lid down with sigh of.rclief.
Preached AZ minutes" he announced
to his neighbor. 1--WE ought toxget n
man with wind like that on our6track
team."-Exchangc.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
The Nearest He Ever Came to

Colonel" she asked, shave you ever
been up in a balloony'
mo-" lie answered, "but l got to
talking art to Boston lady once, and
she had me away up in the air inside
Of two minutes,"-Clicago Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
He Went.

He-Half past IL! Isn't that clock
fast?
She-I think not.
Howell, guess my watch is like
myself-it is slow.
shc-But it is not exactly like you.
ue-Indeed?
shc-No-it goes.-Harlem Life.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Goinx contrarie..

when a lady says No. she means
Yes " observed the philosopher Of the
boarding house, ''and when her papa
throws you down the front steps and
swears. at you until you have disap-
Deared In the gloom there seems to be
something contrary about him too."-
Baltimore American.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Adjourned UnanIn,ou.lx

Correspondence (approaching Irish SER
geanD-I am told, sergeant, that you
had a skirmish with the enemy this
morning.
scrseant-Wc did that, sor.
Correspondent-And did you come off
with flying colors!
Sergeant-Floyin colors, is it? Be-
dad, 1t wasn't ownly the colors that
was floyin, but livery mothers son of
us in the bargain.-Boston Courier.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
A victia,s Argument.

"You have no nerve ut all," said the
disgusted dentist to the patient who
was making q frightful fuss.
''Now listen to that" returned the
patient Misunderstanding me for lack
OF nerve when you told me not five
minutes ago that you'd extracted most
of it and intended to kill what was
left. ."-C Chicago Post.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18

Athletes are short lived, and giants
seldom live out the allotted time Of
threescore years and ten. They ex-
pend too much vitality.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
A Real Need.

"Why, oh, why" walled the woman,
picking up the watch at her feet and
holding 1t to her ear. doesn't some
body invent watch that you can drop
without its stoppingY gY'-New York Sun.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18

The first European book that ever
appeared in the Japanese language was
a translation from the German Of
Heine's songs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18
Chronic Condition,

Chronic Condition
Prospective Tcnant-Of course the
house needs repairs.
Owner-Huh! Did you ever see a
house that didn't?-Indianapolis News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-07-18

A man of few words and many deeds
is like garden of many vegetables
and few weeds Chicago News.