The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
FINELY PLAYED
Were these two Achievements of
the Noted Ben Swartz.
RACHErS OIAMONO.SET RING
And the Letter Of Coincidence 10 Tho Elder
Ares With Bill for Ten OOaB-Ihe
Unique Methods Which Mr. S8aril Adopted
10 Secure Diamond Ring and a Balance
Due Him for Clothes,

Uu6 MN IOl GlOlhtS'
Everybody in Washington who
wears store clothes made TO ORDER
knows Ben Swartz, the avenue tailor
Ben has the characteristic shrewdness
of centuries Of ancestors from ADra-
ham and Isaac to RothChild and sam
Gasseheimer Neither Rothschild nor
mine host of the Lawrence are Ben
ancestors, they are used simply to eu-
phonize the metaphor.
Ben is a cosmopolitan and utterly
free of the ancient preiudices against
his Gentle neighbor He VIII make
clothes for the most unregeneraLe OF
the PhiHstines with the same alacrlty
that he serves his own people, lie Is
generous, too, to a fault as will be seen
further along. Hence when st. Pc
ters Church held its fair and the mem
bers went around peddling tickets LOT
prizes to be rat1ed off at the conclu-
sion of the festivities Ben bought
one. His object was, of course, TO help
the church, as all rel igions are alike TO
Ben, and not to draw custom TO MS
shop.
Now Ben had a sweetheart and de-
string to make her valuable present
as an evidence of his affection he pre-
scented her with this fifty cent ticket
and admonished Rachel to keep 1t IN
her-wen the lady's usual receptacle
for paper money Rachel was inform
ed that many valuable prizes were put
up by st. Peters fair and that the
ticket might draw one OF them.
AS luck would have, il the ticket
won the chief prize, "a valuable dia-
mond ring. and Ben Rugged himself
before and after meals. But soon ms
iov had a sombre tinge and he re-
proached himself for his thoughtless
generosity in giving Rachel the ticket,
especially as he had no line on her and
il wasn't a sure thing whether she
would ever become Mrs, Swartz. Al
ter several hours time with his tinker
Ben evolved a scheme TO secure tne
diamond TO himself and satisfy Rachel
and here is how he did 1t;
He visited his girl, and ascertaining
that she knew Of the good luck, ten
dered his services TO obtain the dia-
mond. Rachel gave Ben the ticket
from her ---. and Ben MED himself
to the chairman of the fair committee
and obtained the spar"er.
Now Ben's great scheme was but par
tally accomplished He must give
Rachel a diamond ring, for Rachel
knew that her ticket drew the prize
Ben incidentally, on his way up the
avenue. dropped i'm at his friend
Kocb's jewellery establishment and
purchased a thirty-five cent "phony'
ring made Of Pittsburg glass, Reach
ing the residence of his iuamOrata Ben
burst i'm full of indignation and ex'
claimed. "VeU. now, Rachel, see
what a nice thing this katholic Is.
Here is the ring they give; 1t is not a
diamond. but a paste. Rachel you
never have anything to do with these
Katholic cheats
Rachel wept but accepted the phony
ring and wears it in honor Of Ben,
while Ben wears the genuine diamond
and Rachel is no wiser except that she
has her private opinion of 'kstholics'
Ben's latest and best. however, came
of in connection with the Ayres trag-
edv. Ben read the account OF the death
OF the young census clerk and hauling
nm his ledger discovered that the muir
.dered youth owed him balance OF ten
dollars on a suit of clothes. Ben
scratched his head for an idea and he
found Il bv return mail. Seating him
self at his mahogany writing desk ne
nenned a letter TO Ayres senior, full OF
natbos and wet with tears. The let
Ter was I'm Ben's best vein and brought
tears TO the eyes Of Mr. Ayres until he
examined the inclosure. The inclos'
ure was Ben's bill for the ten dollars
due by the younger Ayres with pa
thetic request for its early settlement.
Frank Waltemire, the messenger
pen sent with the letter returned trl'
umphant with the ten dollars and Ben
1aid him the usual collectors fee OF
Tbus bappily ended Bens duty TO the
dead and the prompt collection OF out
standing accounts,
which the hypercritical are justified In
making on Ben'S methods, and that Is
the false impression he created IN Ra-
CbeVs mind of the Catholic congrega-
tion of St. Peters. Ben is amehaDle
10 criticism and exposure on TINS ac-
count. and hence The Globe gives the
facts publicity ,,,,.
His letter Of coincidence and bill to
Mr.. Ayres was a fine stroke Of policy
which Ben alone thoroughly under
stands and appreciates. It is safe to
state that not one i'm ten millions OF
his Gentle fellow citizens would think
of thus condensing sympathy and busi'
ness in the same envelope The Globe
cannot. in view Of an the facts. hope
that this particular Ben's tribe may
increase and his shadow never grow