The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-10-04
Chat Abom
People.
scene sIxth dIstrIct court.

Scene Sixth district court.
Time--rhis morning.
Mr. Greenongh- DO you say that
these Women drink
The Witness--Do They drinkg They
certainly drink to success
A strapping big fellow, regular
New York tough boy. coalpassor by
occupation, was apprehended here this
week for soliciting small change from
Citizens -
lie denied the allegation when placed
on trial today on the charge of being
sturdy beggar. averring that be had
money Of his own.
Me beg Not mlsh, I had = few
change in me pocket: lin cents vas
his proud refntation Of The sspersion
the police sought 20 place upon his
heretofore untarnished reputation.
observed In last nights dispatches
frOm New York that Sir Thomas Lin
ton was considering the advisah hility
OF making some changes I'm Shamrock.
rms dispatch was sent prior TO yes
terdaNs race.
In view OF what was done yester-
DAY the changes necessary IN the
Sha anrock are these:
Take on the keel. cast a new one.
pnild 4 new hull, attach u 10 the new
Keel step a new mast, attach new rig
giug 10 this. fasten new sails 10 the
mast. get new crew aud hire new
skipper put them aboard the re-
modelled yacht-thats all
Sir Thomas by this time ought 10
know that mongrel .'purps." shrieking
poll parrots and ereen-dyed chickens
masqucrading as 'mascots' cur no
hgure IN yacht race. The only simon
pure mascot T. the better boat handled
by ,competent skipper To depend
presence OF a bow-legged dog is ri
diculous.
! hope Sir Thomas will express back
TO this city the mascot pup local
tenSier "a SiG OF shsmroSk sham confidently sent
where the mascot can be of use
My profound apologies 10 the jail
keepers and deputy sherifrs OF Sonih
county. Ia q litue pleasantly anent
the approaching national feed day
ing: | alluded 10 The good pickins5
turkeys bad been having IN the south
ern part OF Rhode Island. Alas. The
types made " read. .turnkeys The
that section OF the state precludes
pickings worth considering.
When I came out of my front door
this morning I found two bright red
cards lying upon the top step Observ-
upon them ! stooped aud picked one
up. The top lire read "a Night OF
Horrors The pmainder OF the an
nouncement was that a sermon was
70 be preached on that topic next sum
The color of the card and the scare
line We're suggestive OF a place OF
more than tropical heat.
To my mind more people would care
to hear something about "The Mer-
cies of the Loving Saviour
This brass-drum. trombone oblisato
church business can hardly appeal 10
the intelligent portion OF community.
A New York park policeman was
Knocked down and run over by an
automobile yesterday. lie must have
belonged 10 the sslperannua;ed squad.
Captain Dick Leavy, OF the receiv-
ing ship Richmond. has ordered all his
jackies 70 learn and 10 sing the star
Spangled Banner. Those who ap-
precate how thas air was written can
readily Imagine the sailors SHINING
up 10 the topmox trucks to reach for
the high notes.
A Washington dispatch of last
night. referring TO recent perform
auces OF the Merrimac and another
sister ship. announces that "Old moni-
tors are no good.
HUH We had that opinion when
we attended the primary and inter-
mediate schools.
TWO or three soft goody-good boys
We're selected to spy upon us when the
teachers went from room TO room to
swap gum and gossip.
Many a licking we got when those
monitors turned I'm their reports,
The following Saturdays We used TO
turn TO and lick the monitors.
The Gossip.