The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1901-12-26
RUM-1NATIoNs.

ooaUo 1udu pass IQo SAUL are ike
cases settled out of court.
We brew beer here ana brew trouble
in the Orient. Is that it? =:
The latest about water cure is that
it is good for lunatics. BY the drown
ing process, we suppose. g u.
Some paper suggests that census of
anarchists is needed. Census is not
the word, it is slaughter.
Bourne, the Ramsey county deputy
auditor, has been sentenced to his
bourne-the State penitentiary.
A California man has cornered the
.raisin crop. Pretty soon he will be
raisin hades with the consumer.
Two trains of old Kentucky whiskey
have just left the blue grass country
for Germany. There will be hot
time in old Dusseldorf soon.
It is estimated that in the Fiftv-
sixth congress nearly ten million words
were spoken. We do not know ex-
actly how many times the con-
CHEESEMAN'S foot was put in it.
The schools of osteopathy are not
allowed to use the unclaimed bodies
for dissecting purposes. That is not
what they want them for, it is to bring
them to life by rubbing process.
A st. Paul man who was only mar
ried short time ago has had his wife
arrested for violating the pure food
law. The young wife simply took a
few lessons at cooking school before
getting married.
Some of the Filipinos eat human
steak. But wait until the Swift and
Armour packing companies get foot
hold there. No Filipino will ever eat
native steak when be can get choice
cut from Texas ''canner."
The physicians are going to discuss
sleeping car germs. They might also
take up the matter of tips. Any old
traveller will take his chances with
germs, but tips, they are the same
yesterday, to-day and forever.
1t was so cold the other morning that
an auctioneer down on lower Nicollet
avenue in Minneapolis was choked to
death. I'm offered'' froze into solid
mass while being uttered and fell into
his wind pipe, and before it could be
thawed out by a plumber, he died.
Naval historian Maclay has been
asked bySecretary Long to send in his
resignation. This is at the suggestion
of the president himself, who knows
an all-round fool when he sees him.
Now if only a few more of the crowd
could be requested to do the same
thing, the navy department might be
able to float once more.
''What is this ship subsidy, Mike,
that they are bithering thimsilves
with?"
''Indade, Pat, and I dunno, unless it
is to help the ship av State, that me
little girl talks about. I think it must
be one of thin popular subscriptions
to buy it new hull, perhaps, or the
like of something similar''
Certain New York physicians have
demonstrated before the biological Sec
ton of the New York academy of
sciences that alcohol is good muscle
food. Now what a most important
revelation this is. How long would
Sandow or any of our prize pugilists
last with whiskey for their muscles. |
The New York physicians have got
another guess coming.
It is almost time for the New Years |
resolutions and the new leafs that will
be tured over the first of the year, will
make several large libraries. Judging
from the past records of many, the
proper thing to do would be to adopt,
with a rising vote, the following reso-
luton:
Whereas, During many years past, have at
the beginning of each new year, resolved to do
and not to do, many end divers things too
numerous to mention, and
Whereas, After the lapse of few f1eeting
days from the time of said good resolutions,
they became obliterated relics of the past,
Now Therefore, Be it resolved, that shall
not place such unbounded confidence in the