The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-09-26
Fl ASHE!dgEku1

--~-~-~~--~~
May-Charley Stubtoe Is good
dancer in his way. Sue-Yes, and in
everybody else's way.-Philadelphia
Record
"You say that the defendant turned
end whistled to the dog. What follow
ed?" "WhyY said the witness, inno-
Gently, "the dog"
Lady Ito departing servant)-What
shall say in your reference? Servant
Just that | stood it for six months
with you, mum-thatll do for me.-Tit-
Bits.
Mamma-Bessie, did you give the
goldfish fresh water this morning, as
told you? Bessie aged 4J-No mamma.
they hadn't drank hardly any of the
other yet
Patience-What is good to reduce
flesh? Patrice-Well, l had a friend
who bought a bicycle, and she told me
she fell off little every day.-Yonkers.
Statesman.
A Paradoxical Talesman: Judge
Have you formed any opinion on this
case? Wouldbeigh Juror-No, sir; 1
haven't mentioned it to my wife
Smart Set.
First Office Boy-I've got sixteen
aunts, two grandmothers an a great
grandmother. Second Office Boy-Geel
W'ot lot of ball games you oughter
see dis summer.
Harry" said his mother, don't
/ throw away that nice bread. You may
need it some day" WELL" replied the
little fellow, "if l keep it till then it
won't be fit to eat"
IL understand that Frailman has
come to the conclusion to contest his
wife's will" We'll, what is there cour-
ageous about that? She's dead, isn't
she"--Richmond Dispatch.
He-These seaside resorts are all
alike-a soapbox hotel a stretch of
sand, and a lot of bleached blondes.
She-Yes. And occasionally some mis-
cradle apology for a man.-Exchange-
"Oh, you cruel boy, to take those
eggs out of the nest! Think of the poor
mother bird when she comes" ''The
mother birds dead, miss" "How do
you know that?" Il see it in your hatv'
Punch.
she caught a thief in the house and
chased him four blocks" said the adj
miriNg friend. isn't it strange" re-
piled the sarcastic rival chow some
girls are always after the men Y-Chi-
cago Post.
Mrs. Sharpe (severely)-Norah, T
can find only seven of these plates.
Where are the other five? Cook lin
surprise)-Sure, mum, don't yez make
no allowances for ordinary wear an
tear?-Puck.
A little 3-year-old miss one day dis
covered a neighbours chickens scratch
ing in the back yard and calling to her
mother, said: "Oh, mamma; Mrs.
Smiths chickens are wiping their feet
on our grassw
Hence the Term: Cfarence-Why do
you say the wedding was patrloticf
Algernon-Well, the bride was red, the
groom was white, and her father, who
had all the bills to pay, was blue
Baltimore World
Lawyer-YOu would say, then, thar
Mr.. Whyte is a gentleman of unim
peachable veracity? Witness-Yes, sir,
l presume that If anybody asked me to-,
should; but have known him to lie.
sometimes.-Sommerville Journal.
Downie referring to the pleasant
faced lady who has just passed)-Ah,
my boy, l owe a great deal to that
woman. Dorking-Indeed! She's not
, your mother, is she? Downie-No. my
landlady.-Glasgow Evening Times.
: Little Tommy-Mamma, that was
/ good beef We had for dinner. Where
ala you get itf Mamma-That wasn't
beer, my son. 1t was roast pork. Lit
, tie Tommy-Then why didn't you tell
me before. You know don't like pork.
Mamma" said 4-year-old Willie. 'I
wish had a velocipede." Well" she
] replied, why don't you ask papa to
} buy you oneY' 'I'd rather you would
] ask him, mamma" replied the little
diplomat you've known him longer
5 than have"
e MY good little man." said the visit
4 ing pastor, Il am afraid you've been
fighting. A black eye. Don't you want
! me to pray with you? "Naw," said
! the good little man; run home and
: pray with your own kid. He's got two.
) black eyes. Press.
Convincing His Chum: Johnny dn
the garden)-Father! fatherl look out
Of the window. Father quitting out
his head)-What nuisance you chill
dren are. What do you want now?
Johnny with a triumphant glance at