Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-05

Town People who got along by deliver
ing Milk and raising their own Truck
Elvira and Farina went to Europe
one Summer with Personally Conduc-
ted Drove that had been Picked Up and
Driven In from as far west as Walla
Walla. They came home with their
Carry-alls full of broakable Junk, and
began to use a little French, although
Elvira had to brace herself and hold
on to something when she got rid of a
Long One. While doing the Grand
Tour of the Hotels they had met some
Lovely Gentlemen who wore Gloves
even when they We're not working
around Horses and who hurried into
real Dress Suits the minute the Sun
went down. SO it was pretty tough to
come back and settle down among the
Provincials who wore the sSSS Kind
from Eisenstein's. When they alighted
at the Depot it seemed to them that the
Town had been driven several feet into
the Ground. They had picked up a
few Points on Architecture by reading
the Guide Book. and when they came
back and looked at their fancy House,
they suspected that it would have Civ
en- Mr. Rusk1n Case of the F'an-Tods
Alexander began to observe new Or
der of Things. Instead OF putting the
entire Supply of Victuals out on the
Table so that All Hands could Pitch In,
Elvira had the Courses brought IN lit
tie Dab at time. Alec put up a medi-
um Hoiler, but he was overruled in such
Jiffy that he never Came Back He
had to learn to use an Individual But
ter Dish and Finger Bowl with a
Fruit and Vegetable Exhibit sailing
around in it.
It soon became evident that Elvira
and Farina were getting too SwaggeC to
be tied down to a Water-Tank much
longer They wanted to HE away 70
the City, where they could mingle with
their own Kind. Also, Elvira wanted
to get outside the Sphere OF Influence
OF lot OF spiteful old JaDbies who had
organized the f-klew her when Club
They had Elvira's Record just about
right, including Names and Dates, and
they had put On their Vernilion and
Feathers and were out Ghost-Daneing
and waving their Tomahawks because
Elvira had got so drafted High and
Lofty that she couldn't see whore they
came in at all. They said abe seemed
to forget the Time when she had to give
Lessons on the Melodeon and could have
put all her buds into a Hst-Box-
When Alexis Factory went into the
Combine and he Doubled his Stake. then
Elvira made the Star Play or her life
The Trio got into Parlor Car aad went
right I'D to the City TO drop few Divi-
dends into the Slot and take out more
or less Social Prominence. Alex. was
going Sideways and trying 10 derail the
Expedition. but EIyira ordered him to
take hold OF her Dress and keep close
behind. and she would land him right
in among the Chosen and Elect
For a time after arriving in Town
they lived at a Hotel, but the Street
Cars made so much Noise that no one
heard OF them being on the Scene. Alec
began TO get Lonesome, SO ne warmed
up TO the Porter AT the Hotel. and was
getting Chummy With the Night Clerk
when Elvira told him to Drop 1t. and
said II the wished TO be mistaken for
the Real Thing they must give all Sub
ordinates and Employees the Fishy Eye
ard pretend not to see then* Elvira
ba6 been loekingsoser the Ground and