Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-12-28
Peculiarities Of People

snuffed out. Between the doctors, the
theologians and the scientists we are
becoming reconciled to any old way.
| The doctors have us all riddled with
microbes. The hygienists have US
slowly poisoned to death with food
authorizations. To those of us who car
understand these twin terrors, a worse
fate awaits US. Nordan and Som
broso have us travelling straight down
the path of de generacy to final imbecli-
the monkey route, while Prof. Starr
makes our manifest destiny a reversion
back to the aboriginal type of the
American Indian.
| In any event we are not secure
against the sudden freaks of this old
planet.
| The Seventh Day Adventists are go
| ing to burn us all out. The scientists
who feel Old Sol gradually cooling off
are going to freeze US out. Now that's
all right. We have been wont to re-
gard calmly all these fearful planetary
predictions as something too remote
for present purposes or fear. But n2w
we come face to face with new Syf-
ror which overshadows all other call
antilles and is likely to overtake US at
any moment. Indeed, of we are to ac-
cept the latest scientific dictum, we
should at once set about preparing for
our final exit from this vale of tears.
This latest theory of the scientists is
that OF the glacial deluge;" that at
intervals of some $4,000 years
the northern continents have been
deluged by great floods caused
by the breaking up of the mighty Ice
cap at the south pole. There is now in
the press book by Mr.. Leon Lewis
which handles this icy deluge and tells
us just how 1t is going to be done.
"A fuller review of this work later on.
but few words will suffice at present
to show the trend OF Mr.. Lewis Icy
thoughts, which In substance are as fol-
lows:
Every since the last great flood (prob-
ably the same old chestnut that
stranded the Noah family on Mount
Arara) there has been accommodating
about the south pole, where snow never
melts, but is all converted under pres
sure into ice, vast continent of ice. the
total bulk of which is now estimated at
10000, 600 cubic miles.
During the long period OF its
formation this huge mountain Of
Ice has been drawing off the
waters Il OF the northern hemi-
sphere into the southern until now
three-fifths Of the waters Of the globe
have been drawn a mile to the south
ward OF the earth's former center of
gravity, and there held in perilous posi-
ton by the gravitational pull OF the Ice
ENTHUSIASTICALLY suspended, like the
sword Of Damocles. above our heads.
ready to descend at any moment.
/, All there is between us and eternity,
says Mr.. Lewis. is "the cohesion of those
$4,000. 600 cubic miles of Ice. Just SO long
as the great Ice cap at the south pole re-
mains whole. just 80 long will things re-
main as they now are, with the present
distribution OF land and sea. But, he
adds, there must come q time when the
cohesion OF this great mass OF ice can
no longer resist the strain put upon It.
And when this ice cap breaks, what
then? Well, then. SAY, Mr.. Lewis didn't
think of 1t, but would advise you to
look out and prepare for your final bath.
OF course. It's as plain as the nose on a
man S lace tndL dS SOOI dS tlliS AuSS ICE
DOGGY is disturbed this old earth will
push its "gravitation pull" into the
northern hemisphere. and the little Ice
bcgeys with the surrounding waters Will
enter Immediately upon wild rush for
the north pole via the Atlantic. And
when these water sprites reach the first
telegraphic station in South America
there will be forwarded to us q telegram
which will probably send us on our knees
But the most interesting feature about
our anticipated ocean voyage is the pos
tive assertion of the author that the
time for 1t is near at hand.
( Now j submit that II the Lord builds
up huge combine like that. what's the
sense in kicking up such a fuss about a
small local ice trust, or any other man
made trust, for that matter?
In view Of the humiliation Of matter,
what does 1t matter anyway? The senst-
Bile man will accept philosophically
whatever is inflicted upon us. whether It
be dose OF anti-suffrage or another
poem from Alfred Austin.