Sunday Washington globe., 1901-12-22

AuoWh newspaper woman, conceived the
idea of establishing press bureau. all by
themselves, in which neither the aid nor
the presence of the male sex were to he
required or tolerated Aud OF course the
enterprise has come 60 grief aud the syndi-
cate has busted Aud thereby hangs tale
and a moral, which the GLOBE proposes to
exploit In the following truthful narrative
Of this Adamless (literary) Eden
The three ladies mentioned held several
preliminary meetings to discuss and formu-
late plans for the proposed press bureau
OF course the bureau was intended to sup
ply the hundreds Of newspapers through
out the land unrepreseuted at Washington
with the uews.of the Nations capital com
prising the social. political departmental
congressional and general happenings of
this beautiful city
When by a unanimous vote IL was decided
to organize the bureau the portion each
lady was to bear la the enterprise came I'D
for discussion aud settlement To Mrs
Burke was assigned the 'COncressionai.n
TO Mrs Colby the Departmental and TO
Mrs. Goulding the management. Mrs
Goulding having had experience Ri bureau
work, being at one time here in Washington
the whole thing" la a mixed bureau of
males and one female (herself) she doing
the correspondence and the male members
the drinking, it was emiuently proper that
the duty should be assigned her Of securing
the newspapers desiring weekly letters
FROM Washington"
But there was radical difference between
the three ladies as to the form aud subject
matter Of the proposed letters The mex.
perieuced Mrs. Colby held that the news of
the departments would be acceptable and
interesting news for the benighted readers
of the newspapers unrepresented bv
lordly correspondents at the Nations Cant
tai. Mrs. Couldiug demurred in a modest
way characteristic of Rosalie and news
paper writers in generaI) and held that "iu
terviews" with noted men aud piouaut
comments on things not in the usual rut of
Washington correspondence as clipped
from the Star would be more exciting
entertaining and more likely of acceptance.
She was, however, voted down by the other
two. and instructed TO prepare a circular
letter to editors give aname TO the associs
tiOu and hump herself in securing a client
age among the managing editors Of the
United States and its subject dependencies
Now Rosalie being a hard working, prac-
toal little woman well and thoroughly
trained in newspaper work and up TO her
job, buckled down and got off the follow
ing circular letter, which was sent ont
broadcast, the ladies clubbing in to pay the
postage Here is the letter
NATIONAL NEWS SYNDIcArE, CoRREsPoN.
DENcE DEPT No or II ST N. w.
P o, Box 545, STATION 6, WASH
INGToN D, c rlTr
JF....o-..., g-Jsg...
DEAR SIR,-Enclosed please find a sample
Washington letter, made up. this time
necessarily, from recent Government re-
ports, and which Is inteudedto give an idea
of the service we are in position to furnish.
You may print any or ali Of this with our
compliments.
We have special facilities for furnishing
telegraphic Congressional news special
reports interviews with Cougressmen and
other prominent persons in tho. public eve
descriptive and illustrated articles short
stories, sketches in fact, anything news.
paper could or would. or might or should
want in the line of news or 6ction.
Give us a trial AT least let us have
prompt reply hereto, and we may be of ser.
vice to you in some way Our usual charge
Is 81 90 per week for general letter relat.
ing to what Congress and the departments
are doing or propose to do, and should be
Of special interest to distant papers not rep
resented at Washington.
Trusting to have the pleasure Of serving
you, we are,
Very respectfully.
NATIONAL NEWS SYNDICATE.
Per R. o. Goulding Manager.
Die to NJ Del.
The cute Rosalie conceals the sex of the
National News Syndicate" in the fore.
going and leaves the editor under the i'm.
preston that the members Of the syndicate
are of the sex who nightly pose in raglans,
clip the Star, match pennies. visit Ker-
mans, drink soda water lin a horn) and
limit poker bets to two bits
The sample letter enclosed was gotten up
by Mrs. Colby and il did the business for
the syndicatel Of the odd reams Of letters
sent out, Rosalie received three answers,
and these were polite declinations to cough
up one dollar or any fraction thereof for
Letters based upon the sample" The
sample" is before us and is indeed an ex-
ceedingly we'll composed compilation of
departmental news-several weeks old Its
concluding paragraph the GLOBE believes,
Is what ruined the enterprise. Here Il is:
The sea serpent IS no iouger TO be re-
garded as a myth for he is Oh record in the
Photographic Office, vouched for by H. II.
Neligan, third officer Of the Trade It ap-
peared to be, he says, about 100 feet long.
It's blunt square nose was emitting water
to the height Of two or three feet II had
three distinct sets Of fms and aillike por-
poise This would seem 70 be 6sh story
bat for the camel like humps on the back Of
the creature on which the officer is willing
to stake his veracity. The monster was OBJ
served IN the Gulf of Mexico, about I2o
miles southeast Of the Mississippi river
Anything so ancient as the sea serpent
chucked at even a back woods editor as
FRESH DEPARTMENT NEWS was too much.
The editor felt he was being guyed by some
original cuss who managed somehow 70
drift into Washington and that game was
being worked to secure material for q write
up Of the gullible rural newspaper The
land snake season being over for 1901, the
managing editor Of the unreprvsented news
paper in Washington concluded that II was
little too impudent to work him with SRA
snake OF serpent stories IN a sample letter