davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Sunday School Teacher-Herbert, can
you tell me how Christmas came to be
celebrated?
Little Herbert promptly)-Yes'm.
Santa Claus was born on that day.
Philadelphia North American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Rev. Mr.. Saintly-I was very sorry
that l couldn't fill my pulpit last Sun
day, but l hope you liked my substi-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Dear Mother-My birthday will soon
be here, and as 1 write this I sit with
my window open. Think Of doing this
in New York in January,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Customer-I want to get ton Of coal.
Dealer-What size?
Customer legal 2, 2,24O-pound size,
Il you please.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Josher-They say that Mrs. Newrocks
simply won't be snubbed.
Bighead-Well, there wouldn't be any
body in society unless they had had an
cestors just like her.-Life,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
Cunning Expenses

Jones-They say the running expenses
Of Slobb. Jobb & Co. eat up all the
profits
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Clara-What is your ideal in being en-
gagged to a man old enough to be your
father?
Maud didn't know but | would
\;
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Wheat Consumption of the World,
The bread-eaters Of the world reouire
more than 2,3OO,O 100000 bushels of
wheat every twelve months.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
How to keen in the Swim.

Mrs. Fotheringay Jibbs came to my
reception without an invitation"
You don't mean it?"
"Yes; she explained to me that she
felt sure my omission of her was an
oversight. indianapolis Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
THE CHAMPION WOOER,

Man Who Made Love to His Mother.
in-Law.
Robert ] Patterson, of Brooklyn,
should be declared the champion
wooer. He has distanced all records,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
The Professors Dilemma.

Booker-Prof. Delvington Is in q ter
rible quandary.
Hooker-Why, what's the trouble?
Booker-He has discovered new dis
ease and can't find any germ for it,
Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

An irreverent writer says that
Satan's fall was probably due to his
having slipped on a peal of thunder.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
OF One Mind,

Tess-Yes, Charlie and 1 agree per-
fectly. He thinks 1 am just too sweet
for anything, and"
Jess-That proves 1t.
Tess-How do you mean?
Jess-1 mean that, of course, Won
agree with him.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
leir interests clash. do
Punished.

"What are you reading, Dorie ?"
"Papa's poems"
"Been naughty%-Punc
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
How SO?

Jones-Slobb was running for Con-
gress and Jobb was playing the races.
Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
Thought He Ate the Tires,

Star Boarder-Well, even # this Is an
age of improvements, they have not yet
found a substitute for the Thanksgiv-
ing turkey,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
Worse Yet.
lan-One dollar, lady.

Mrs. Wunder-What are these straw
berries worth?
Marketman-Oned dollar, lady.
Mrs. Wunder-What? A dollar a
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
On His Mind.

Teacher-Who can name the bones of
the skull?
Bobby-I've got 'em all in my head,
but can't think of them,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
Incoutestable Prooe.

peIle-Do you tn1nK Chappfe loves
me? 1.
Grace-1 know it. He told me TODAY
that he was going to shave off his mus
tache SO he could devote more thought
to you.--Smart Set.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
And Do 1t Eirst.

Askit-What is your understanding
of the Golden Rule? Does it mean:
DO unto others as you would like to
be done by?"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
Mrs Witherbv-Oh YES Ha awasfna

Mrs. WltnerDy-Oh, yes. He was fine,
and told my husband, who didn't go,
that he little knew what he had
miSsed.-Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
When She Doesn't Sing,

Towne-On crutches. about a month
later.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

Wife-What shall we name the baby,
John?
Husband-I have decided to leave
that entirely to you, my dear.
John, you've been drinking again!'-
Smart Set.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

bIZness-No; my Interpretation Is:
do unto others as you would be like
ly' to be done by."-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

"She refused him?'
mo, she accepted him"
Springs Gazette.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
Mr.. Sourdropp-I don't know. | think


they gave us some stewed automobile
last year-Baltimore American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01
A Very Good d Re .soa,

Marketman-No, mum. A dollar
apiece.-Baltimo-e American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

whats the matter with Jones? lie
looks troubled
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-01

"Well, you know he was desperately
in love with Miss Gaygirl, and one
night he thoughtlessly asked ner to
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
FOUND HER RING IN A TREE.
The Young Woman HAD Lost II I'm "A
LRke-some Tail summer
Yarns.

The regular crop Of summer lies e.
beginning TO come I'm from the sur
rounding country, and experts say
that the quality Is even better than
usual. One Of the important duties
Of the local newspapers IS carefully
to chronicle all the yarns sent in
from localities contiguous TO this
city, and this slight encouragement
is more than enough TO set in mo-
tion the think tanks OF the liars Of
southern New York andi northern
Pennsylyania, says the New York
Sun.
From one OF the many small lakes
In this region comes this yarn, which
is youched for by tho leading hotel
keeper Of the place, and the postmas-
ter, who Is his brother Three years
ago a young married couple came up
from New York 20 spend the summer
at the lake A few days before their
return TO the city they were out row
ing, when the young wife, who had
been trailing her land in the water,
screamed that she had lost her we'd
ding ring.
When She pulled IN her hand, sure
enough the ring was gone. IL had
slipped OF and gone 10 the bottomi
and as the spot where she lost II IL
one OF the deepest in the lake no at
tempt was made TO Feeoyer ~. So
bad did the young woman feel over
her loss that she never returned 20
the lake again until this summer.
Aeain-. sav the hoteDs6cper aud the
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

postmaster, she was out rowing on
the lake with her husband. Sudden
" the CLINT Of metal high In one Of
the trees attracted the attention Of
the couple. It seemed to them to be
ring, and rowing ashore the hus-
band Skinned up the tree to find out.
It Is stated rs a positive fact that he
found the wedding ring that his wife
dropped in the lake three years be-
fore on the branch Of the tree.
How IL got from the bottom Of the
lake 20 the top Of the tree was Of
course a mystery, which the wisest
man might hesitate to attempt to
explain. But did the hotelkceper and
his brother, the postmaster, hesitate ?
No, sir. They were right handy with
an explanation.
They found a fshhawl's nest in the
tree, few feet back from where the
ring was found, and IL revealed the
whole thing to them at once. A fish
had swallowed the ring, and cavorting
too near the surface was nabbed by
the hawk, which took il up to the
nest and ate it. Finding the ring o
trihe hard on its masticating appa-
ratus the hawk threw It out, and IL
caught on the limb, where IL was
found.
There is a fellow down in Susque-
hanna who tells snake lies about as
artistically rs anyone i this region.
He pretends TO have found n two
headed blacksnake in a deserted quar-
ry i.-ss week, and n detailed ac-
count Of this wonder of nature has
appeared in several newspapers. II is
described as being three feet long.
One foot or this Is body for two, for
there are two heads, each perfectly
formed, and two tails.
This snake liar has built his two
headed wonder on the general plan
laid out by Mark Twain in his story
of the extraordinary twins, for he
says that one head seemed TO be do
ing all the controlling Of the body
when he ran across it. The other
head just went along as though IL had
nothing TO say about the direction In
which the whole should go.
Straight across the quarry in n
westerly direction went the snake,
when suddenly, TO the amazement Of
the man who found it, the head which
had seemed so indifferent to the way
things were going perked up and
seemed 10 take command. 10 turned
the body around and started in an
easterly direction, the other head
sinking into condition OF complais.
ance, much like that exhibited by its
fellow a few moments before.
How long this sort Of thing would
have kept up nobody knows, for the
snake hunter just dropped on the
freak, and took IL home in n bag. The
story goes that IL can be seen at the
home Of its captor any time, hut nc
one from this city has taken the
trouble TO 60 to Susquehanna yet &c
see it.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
THE oRRIS ROOT TRADE.
Unfamiiiar Facts About Familiar
Article OF Commerce the
world over.

The British vice consul at Leghorn,
in his report on his district for the
past year, mentions a curious indus
try in which orris root plays the
chief part, says the London Times.
This is the production of beads made
from the root, with a fine hole
through the center. The beads are
OF many sizes, the smallest being
about that of marble. Not many
years ago about 2O,OOO,OOO OF these
were exported each year, but now
the export has fallen TO 100000. II
appears that there was once n med
ioal theory that the best means OF
curing scrofula and certain diseases
Of the blood was to keep an open
wound in the body of the sufferer,
and these orris root beads were in
serted into the wound for this pur-
pose. 10 is sfill possible 20 buy nt
Italian medical instrument makers
the special wire-grated bandage pre-
pared for the arm in this process.
Orris was probably used in this way
because OF its tendency TO dilate in
any liquid substance. The practice
undoubtedly still prevails, though
medical science hus long condemned
Il. a factory for making these beads
has recently been established in
Paris, and the greater part Of the
Leghorn export goes 20 Lyons, while
part goes to Frankfort. The use OF
the beads IS dying out in Italy, but
IL Is not uncommon to meet with
people who have been treated in this
way. Another article made from
orris root IS the dentnrnolo, or finger,
which is designed to take the place
OF the old-fashioned infants coral
and assist in teething. The juice,
OF which n small amount is absorbed
In sucking, Is said 20 be an excellent
digestive. This Is a modern and n
growing industry, and apparently
reached Italy from Germany. Now
half n million of these fingers are
sent from Leghorn 20 Germany and
Austria every year. Orris root grains,
colored in blue, red, yellow, green and
other colors, are exported 10 the same
countries, where they are used TO
throw on fires to give an agreeable
odor TO saloons and entrance halls,
while in the form Of tiny chips the
root Is chewed, mostly by men serv-
ants, 10 remove the smell OF tobacco,
garlic and the like. IL may be mem
tioEed that samples OF these various
articles made from orris root have
been sent home by the vice consul
and have been transferred by the
foreign Office 10 the Association OF
Chambers Of Commerce.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
THE RELIEF UNION.
A Useful Organization That Ought
TO be Revived.

Three years ago there was or.
ganized in this city an organization
known as the Vinita Relief Union.
II was composed Of about one hun.
dred ladies and gentlemen of Vim.
'ta, who undertook the chari.abl.
task OF relieving the distressed and
helping those who were in need OF
iood and clothing and sympathy.
A large number OF families were
helped through this organization.
aud 1t has done a great work, ,
though quietly and withou, osten .
talion.
The hundred people who pledg.
ed themselves to pay twenty-five
cents per month to keep up the
Institution and to furnish funds for
disbursements, gradually stopped
paying until a mere handful of
people are left to bear the burd, n
This organic tion ought not TO
be allowed to cease its ministra.
tlons for lack Of funds and for a
want of interest. It is the best
way to help those ia want. aud ia
a systematic way As winter
comes on there will be many cases
that will have 20 have help. There
are and will continue to be, sick
ones who must have medicines
and nursing. The physicians and
drug stores Of the town are in a
large measure carrying these peo.
pie, and are doing more than their
share. II the business men and
others will rally to the help of
this union a way will thus be pro.
vided to relieve those in want in a
systematio way.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

The days OF personal ioun-
alism are over and it is seldom
that a publication Of any stand
ing indulges in personalities.
The Chieftain has passed
through a period when person
alities were a necessity, but
happily that period has almost
passed. There are still a few
puny sheets printed, now and
then, that are full of venom
and delight to berate the Chief
tain. One of these insignii-
cant ours edits the Chelsea
Commercial. More than a year
ago he borrowed a quantity of
print paper from this Office
with the solemn promise that it
would be returned as soon as
the next shipment was received.
The paper has never been re-
turned, but the little weakling
has continued to snarl and snap
at the Chieftain. Such a sheet
is a poor advertisement for the
good town of Chelsea. Such a
whimpering freak in the ranks
of Indian Territory newspapers
is an abomination to the pro-
fession.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

Delegate Flynn, of Oklahoma,
the most powerful man in that ter
ritory, sees very plainly that the
single statehood idea ir a menace
to his political existence. Flynn
cannot hope for the senatorial toga
with the two territories as one
state, and with that end in view
he will work, as only Flynn can,
for the admission of Oklahoma
But this plan, if successful, has no
bearing on the Indian territory.
What we want is some recognition
as a people powerful enough to
sustain our own government with
out long distance dictation from
Washington or carpet bag rule. If
every man in Indian territory
would exert himself, would bring
pressure TO bear on at least one in.
huential citizen in the old states,
congress would listen to our plead.
ings. Commence today In the agi
talion Of relief from the existing
oppression.-So. McAlester Capt.
tai.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
COUNCIL DIVISION.
Nationals WIN Control Upper and
DownI0g's Lower House.

Special to ChIeftain.
Tahlequah. Nov. 3.-Tablequah
is lively today, as compared to
other days. The Dawes commits.
sion force came in this morning
They will open up tomorrow for
the enrolment Of fullbloods.
Large delegations are here from
every district. Office seekers are
plentiful; they have been here
several days The word politician
is in evidence, "tixing it,"
Chambers is absent from Coz.
weescoowee, Hayden, from Della.
ware, and two members in tn,
lower house. Coon and England
are absent and will not be in until
Monday. They were compelled
to remain at home on account of
the death Of Cherokee minister,
Rev. Smallwood.
The general opinion is that none
OF the contests will be tried. The
majority of those present favor
seating those holding certificates
and proceeding with business.
The senate will be organized by
the Nationals and The lower house
by the Downing's. This is conced.
ed by all.
Viniia is well represented IN
point Of numbers. Among those
seen are, Attorneys Thompson,
Davenport, Parks. Col. Bell, L.
W. Burlington, J c. Starr aud
Walter Martin.
Tahltquah, Nov. 4 Both the
lower and upper houses Of the ma.
tional council completed their or
gsnization today.
The lower house organized this
afternoon with the following tfll.
GERS:
NJ. V. Benge, Speaker; c. S.
Shelton, CLERK; Will Harnage
Canadian Distric) Asst. CLERK;
Henry Covel, interpreter; Jomes
Horseay, Asst. Interpreter; Harry
Freemen, Sergeantal.arms.
All of the officers are those plac
ed in nomination by the Downing
caucus.
The Nationals, who control the
senate, later cuucussed on officers
and placed the following 10 nomi.
nation:
President Of Senate, Wolfe Coon;
CLERK, S F. Parks; Asst. Clerk,
Ed. N. Wasbbourne; Interpreter.
Richard NJ. Wolfe; Asst. Inter.
prefer, Joe r. Sequilohis; En-.
crossing Clerk, F. j. Boudinol;
seargeant'at'arms, Joshua Hum
A number Of contests are *.
pecled in each house, but the con.
census OF opinion is that the hear
lngs will be but mere iormalities.
aud that the contested delegations
will be seated.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
Dissolution Notice.

BY mutual consent the tirm Of Pry.
or Creek Drug Company has this day
dissolved partnership, w. r. Tnly
Withdrawing from the firm aud Wat
Moyes and George w. Mayes taken
charge Of same The said Wat an
Geo. W. Nayes assume all Indebted
ness OF said firm that has been con-
tracted previous 10 this date. w. r..
'filly, ex-manager; Wat Mayes, Geo.
W. MaycA Per Tilly.
Pryor Creek, /, r.. Nov. 4, 1901.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
THE ONWARD TIDE.

To the thinking mind the ques'
lion presents itself as TO what is
the cause Of the great unrest among
he the people Of the Indian territory
ng touching matters Of government
he The people are now earnestly
tor. debating the question OF statehood
with Oklahoma, and la-ge ma.
'ou jority are undoubtedly in favor Of
such union. The present govern.
- ment of the Indian territory, il IL
'"P can be called government, is un
O satisfactory, mainly because the
g" people have no voice in ils admin
istration.
ie Ever since Jefferson wrote the
viii Declaration OF Independence the
yr people of America, and of the
b whole world more or less, have in
Ell sisted upon those inalienaDle rights
Il he laid so much stress upon.
ou Here in the Indian territory the
y people have just as much of that
:, American spirit, or perhaps a lit.
- tie more Of II, as elsewhere, and
=, insist upon having a voice in the
selection OF their rulers. IL has
T. : come to be, nay, always was, as
muth a republican sentiment as
democratic; it is not confined to
: political parties. 1t is innate, we
: breathe it in the atmosphere and
I drink itin the water--it permeates
the being of every American oiti.
zen.
No government can be ideal that
does not recognize that key note OF
u freedom. The Indian territory is
governed by marshal law. Her
rulers are appointed at Washing
y ton and not elected by the 400, 600
citizens whom they govern, The
present system of government
in the Indian territory cannot
stand. The people are chafng
under it and will not be contented
with it, and sooner OF later viii,
change it. The sooner the people
Of this territory are given state
hood the less friction will it occa.
sion. No man nor party can stay
or stop effeolually the tide that is
setting in toward a stable form OF
government. 1t were as feasible
to dam up the Arkansas river and
stop its current as to turn back the
tide Of public sentiment now turn
ing toward statehood and the right
Of local self government. If it
should be held up temporarily it
will only break loose in larger
volume and sweep away all OBJ
stacles later on.
The men who are now planting
= themselves against the movement
s:E will be carried away with the cur
Ia rent and destroyed. Their names
|'f will be forgotten in the onward
march before the present genera
~ tion passes.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

1t is not very clear as to just how
an exhibit that will tittingly do
justice TO the Indian territory is to
be made at ST. Louis in 1903. 1t
will take more money than is likely
to be raised by voluntary conlribu.
tion, and an appropriation is ou'
out Of the question. The exposi
tion may possibly pay the salary
Of commissioner, but viii Ger.
tainly stop at that. The Indian
councils will be slow to appropri.
ale money when they represent
about one fifth of the population
Of the territory.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

o l.. Connor and J. H. Galn3s, OF
FairlAnd, were registered at the Green
Tuesday night, leaving for MuskORee
yesterday where the latter tw0 will re-
ceiye the Knight Templar degrees of
masonry tonight.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

The question Of single or double
statehood has been practically set
tied, It is no longer debatable.
No one need seriously consider the
feasibility Of forming two states of
the twin territories. The logic of
events has settled the controversy
and by common consent, in con-
gress and out of il. Now the part
Of wisdom is not for the people of
the Indian territory to deplore
their fate, but TO 60 TO work to
make the best Of it. Already the
politician and Office holders are
reporting" against the move
ment, and may be able to side.
track it TO some extent, but even
tually II will be accomplished.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

Col. Robert L. Owen declaimed
against single statehood with great
huency al the South McAlesler
w. c. +. u. convention. He de-
plores the probability of the in.
PRODUCTION Of intoxicants in The In
dian country. This is we'll and
the Chisftain let's no man go before
il ia the advocacy Of temperance
10 OF out Of the Indian territory,
but Mr. Oven knows perfectly we'll
that statehood is coming, and that
the Indian territory will hays to
20 in with Oklahoma eventually.
Why debate a question that is al-
ready settled. Mr.. Oven il a
hhFawd politician.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07
THE "BURLINGT0N'S"
California EXCURSIONS,
Personally Conducted.

Every Thursday from Kansas City and
Saint Joseph the Burlington's California
tourist sleeper excursions leave under
protection Of special conductors Route
Is via Denver, Scenic Colorado, Sault
Lake City, the route Of equitable clim-
ale. Arrange 10 ioin these excnrsions
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

III G. Carpenter, attorney
for the Cherokees, but whose
fee has not yet been allowed,
has made the remark attribu-
ted to him in the metropolitan
press to the effect, that the
Cherokees repudiated the late
agreement through ignorance,
he ought to be ousted without
pay. The serpents trail seems
to be over Carpenter along with
others who are not able to
withstand the wiles of the oil
magnates.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1901-11-07

WANTED To buy one span ~ 1900
pound work mares, from 20 7 years
old, and 10 hands high. Apply 10 u
4. MllkInsOn, COOdys Blun, 1T. ~