davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1901-01-19

A newspaper story says that Mr. Bryan
was recently offered a contract for $4,000
by soap concern for the back page Of
his "Commoner," the ads to run from
the first issue for a stated period. Mr..
Bryan refused the contract, for the rea-
son that he wants the first issue TO be
wholly literary. The story is given for
what it is worth. But why should the
advertiser wish to begin at once and run
for only stated period? Did he an
ticipate high water Immediately?
The Savannah morning news., 1901-01-19
DE SOTO HOTEL.

First-class accommodations for D"
guests. Among the Improvements the
past summer 50 new bath rooms were add
ed Tourists find Savannah the most in
teresting city in the South. An ideal
winter resort. Special rates for families
remaining week or more. Tourists stop
ping at the De Soto may become asso.
ciate members of the Savannah Goh
Club
The Savannah morning news., 1901-01-19
Two stories of Children.

The Troy Times tells of a group of lit
tie children who found wounded bird
with its tail feathers shot away or pluoked
out in some manner, and disputed among
themselves as to what should be done with
the poor little thing. Some of them want
ed to take it home and put it in a cage
Others were for releasing it and letting it
fly away. 1T can't fly" said one; '1t has
no tail" You don't have to have a tai
to fly" Yes, you do" mo you don't
Angels have no tails, and they can fly"
A little girl who had taken no part in
the controversy looked up in surprise and
said: Johnny, aren't you ashamed 20
talk about Gods servants in that way?"
Two little maids. says the Omaha Bee
were playing Sunday-school and 1t had
been agreed that Gladys should sing and
Mary recite. When the former finished
the second innocent faithfully arose and
bowling decorously to her one auditor re-
piled:
God be nimble,
God be quick,
God jump over che candlestick!
Then, noticing the somewhat dubious ex-
preston on her playmates face, she has
tened to explain; with pious seriousness.
"Of course, that's not the way we learned
it first, but when we play Sunday-school.
why, you see. we must put God in inst
everything, else it won't be 'ceptable TO
IIirnfb "
The Savannah morning news., 1901-01-19

A member Of the Texas Legislature
Is trying to get that body TO investigate
what he calls the round bale trust D"
meaning the corporation which controls
the machinery for making round cotton
bales. The investigation has not yet
been ordered
The Savannah morning news., 1901-01-19
s. I'LL OF HOPE RT AND G. rs W

FOR Isle of Hope, Montgomery. Thumbs.
noit' Cattle Park and West End.
Dahy except Sundays. Subject TO chan,.
without notice.
ISLE OF HOPE.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
TALKING BY WRESTLING.

complete Language Has Been Devel.
oped by the AbOrfgines of tho Ca
nary Islands and II Used. -
There is q perfect whistling language
used by the aborigines Of the Canary
islands. and the people can communi
cate with each other over long dis
tances. "A stranger wandering over the
islands is frequently surprised to hear
from hilltop the sound OF loud whist
ling. which is quickly repeated on the
next hill, and so tits carried from sum-
NIT to summit. until It dies away in the
distance. ',$3s
But perhaps the most curious means
OF communication in the world is the
drum language OF en- African tribe,
named as nearly as the word can be
represented in our letters, Thang- Tu.
These queer people can talk to each
other with large drums made Of bam-
boo hoops, over which the skin of some
animal is stretched. The drum is used
only on important occasions-such as
tho meeting Of war or the trial Of some
members Of the tribe who have broken
some Of the complex religious rules.
Their. the head man OF the village, who
Is hidden behind a rough grass screen,
asks questions Of the witnesses by tap
ping on the drum, and finally delivers
judgment by giving either of the three
sharp bangs, which means death to the
prisoner. or the one light tap, that
means Observation-Disclosures Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
WOES or THE PORT =.


From the Louisville Times: The
poet has to stand more trampling6 on
his toes. more knocks and bangs. than
the majority Of men. Possibly he 10
so sensitive that he feels them more:
anyhow, he suffers and endures, and
IS always expecting solar-plexus
blow. He had woman friend whom
lie admired and esteemed q lot. She
was intensely particular, however, but
she liked him and always had some
thing kindly to say. The other even
ing she began talking about his book
Of verse. @
II borrowed it from a friend" she
declared, "and started to read it. I
would pick it up before breakfast or
after supper, but do, you know that
every time was trying my best to
wade through it some Of the children
in the house would cali me for some
thing, and never did pillow through
the volume" ~
The poet had grinned broadly when
she began on the subject Of his book,
but the words ). wade through it."
pillow through it," felled his spirit to
the dust. That girl was worse, than
the woman who wrote poet note of
thanks for a gift of his book and
let him find it on her parlor table
with the leaves uncut.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
LOOKING AHEAD.

l
From the London Tit Bits.-A good
story is told on one Of the dignitaries
OF the Scottish church. Before he be-
came known to fame he was minister
of a remote country parish, and was
not considered particularly attract
i've preacher.
At his suggestion extensive altera-
lions were made in the transept of his
church, and these had the effect Of
sweeping away considerable seating
accommodation.
One day after the alterations had
been effected, he visited the church to
see how it looked.
What do you think of the improve
ments, John?" he asked of the beadle
Improvements" exclaimed John, in
disdain; they're no Improvements at
a. Whaur are We g in to put the folk?"
"Oh," said the minister, eve have
abundance of room, John, considering
the size Of the congregation"
That's a very weel the noo," re-
torted the beadle; "but what will we
do when We get a popular meenister?"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
Duelins with rnllow Bullets


There is something intensely amusing
in the new wrinkle taught by DR.. Davil-
liers to the Lingue des Patriotes, COM
posed of those famous bloodless duel
lists Of France, at whom the world has
been laughing these thirty years. He
teaches the believers in the code how TO
shoot at each other with real pistols, in
a business-like way, using tallow bull
lets and a small charge of powder. This
is to accustom students of dueling to
gaze with. equanimity down the cold
barrel of a revolver. Il believe revolv-
ers are now used in duels. The face is
covered with fencing mask, and the
eyes are protected by thick goggles.
Old clothes save the body, except from
the grease of the bullets. The fact of
actually shooting at each other and hit
ting some tender spot aids spice to the
practice, and the prospect is excellent
for a widespread of the wrinkle of the
French physician: The question natur-
ally arises: Why not use tallow. bullets
in actual duels. with the combatants
naked above the waist ?-Victor Smith,
in the New York Press. Il
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
THE ] I '.IME 10 LAU GIL,
SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL AND
sELEoTED.
Pleased with tho Hour. or the Ready
Wit Of Son Of the Emerald Isle A
\ Large Covey Figuring Out Her
| Share. fs RS 4
Pleased WITH THE HOUR.

=
From the Louisville Times. Lieu
tenant Heffernan was saying the other
day that he had hardly ever seen an
Irishman who wasn't ready with a
quick retort, no matter what the cir
cumstances might be.
1t was about three years ago that I
arrested q certain fellow. He was
about the drunkest man I ever saw to
be still standing on his feet. AS soon
as got hold Of him he wanted to
make trouble. He was just like many
others from the ould sod when they
get full of bad booze and they think
there is a chance for scrap. He
made pass at me, but I reached over
and tapped him once on the head with
my stick. He became quiet right away,
and he looked up at me and said:
".'And what tonne is it?'
And of course I couldn't help but
answer, Just struck one.'
well. if thot's so,' he answered,
Oim dunn glad yez didn't hit me an
hour sooner
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
OF Course She Didn't Know.

A certain Unitarian minister of Great
er New York has determined that his
young daughter shall not know the dark
side Of orthodox religion. The miss ac-
companied her mother to the country
during the past summer, and there
found playmate in the young daugh-
ter of village teacher. One day the
following conversation was overheard:
you've told q story" said the village
girl, accusingly. Don't you know where
folks go who tell stories?"
NO. replied the New York miss.
where do they go?"
They go to hell"
* Where's hell?"
'syvhy, Mamie Blank! You, a minis
ter's daughter. and don't know where
hell ISL .3
well. i don't care" answered the ac-
cused. II never was in a geography
class in my life. New York Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
NONE IN HIS.

Its funny about Cinnamon, isn't
lt?' remarked the saloonkeeper whose
place was next door to laundry. 81
knew Sing Lung was working away
like steam engine this hot day, and
SO drew a glass of cold settler and
handed it in to cheer and revive him. !"
That was thoughtful of you," said
the man leaning on the bar and wish
ing he was a Chinaman.
"Oh, but the fellow wouldn't touch
it,
.'No?"
And he even flew mad and ordered
me out of his place. Didn't seem to
understand, you know"
But l think he did. Yes, I think
he had been there before
How do you mean?" asked the sa-
loonist
why he's been given knockout
drops and had his laundry robbed of
The last nickel"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
The Joys Of Automobiline.

Hail the new and dainty divinity that
Pits aloft; the Twentieth Century Char
foteer! She has one foot on the gong;
|one hand controls the steering gear, the
lofher moves the lever that starts or
packs the auto. Her keen eyes scan the
avenue for impediments; yet, withal,
she has witching glance for acquaint-
ances on foot or madam in her cob
drawn landau. and her airy persifage
never flags as her seat-mate interjects
remarks Of admiration or wonder at the
psychic force that sets the whole en-
|selnble in motion.-Collier'sW Weekly,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
A LARGE covEY.
swapping

Two old hunters were swapping
yarns and had got to quail.
why said one, 81 remember a
year when quail were go thick that you
could get eight or ten at one shot with
a rifle"
The other one sighed.
What's the matter?" said the first.
Il was thinking of my quail hunts.
I had fine black horse that 1 rode
everywhere, and one day out hunting
quail l saw a big covey on low
branch of a tree. threw the bridal
rein over the end of the limb and took
shot.
Several birds fell and the rest few
away.
'Well, it's SO. I saw it in a paper.''
on that limb that when they flew off
it sprang back into place and hung
my horse!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
DOING HIS BEST.

In the early morning went to the
post Office in an Alabama town to in
quire for mail, but found was half
an hour too early. was walking away
when the colored janitor who was
sweeping out called to me and asked:
WAS yo' procrastinatin' around yere
arter yo'r mail, sah?"
Yes, but see I'm too early"
Eyes, sab, too airly. An was yo' a
stranger in dis town."
YES"
"Ans hain't yo' no one to talk to?"
NO"
Den, sab, if yo' don't keer to elm
mate about de street fur half an hour
yo' can stop right yere, an I'll do my
best to consider de. reciprocity Of de
situashun an make yo' feel to home!'
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
The Car Had Hi. Bath.

Apropos Of the cars recent visit to
France, it is related that only the pres
ence of mind Of Nine. Loubet, wife of
the president Of France, prevented a
sad contretemps. The imperial party
was staying at a country villa, and
when the hour for the cars morning
bath arrived the servants started to
prepare the tub. But the hot waite,
would not come. The servants twisted
the faucets this way and that, anG
pounded on the pipes, but all to no pur-
Iose. Finally, Nine. Loubet heard OF
the difficulty. She called several mer
servants, and hot water was sent from
the kitchen to the imperial tub in
buckets.-New York Commercial Ad-
vertiser.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

country than all other diseases put together,
and until the last few years was supposed to be
incurable. For great many years doctors pro-
remedies, and by constantly falling to cure
with local treatment, pronounced it incurable
Science has proven catarrh to be a constitu-
tutional treatment Halls Catarrh Cure, man
ufactured by Il. j. Cheney g. Co., Toledo. Ohio
Is the only constitutional cure on the market.
q teaspoonful. 1t acts directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces Of the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any easel it fails to cure
Send for circulars and testimonials. Address
F.J. CHENEY g. CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by Druggists 7oc.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
. HARD LUCK.

The cowboy sat down on the ground,
fingered rollsof hi Is and locked sadly
at his pard.' Z
"Bill." he said, its no use. I. can't
go to town with you to-day"
s Why, asked Bill. Is:
Ell "1've only got SIS to my name"
"Figger it up ag'in,' said Bill.
#s.No use: I've figgeredSit up a dozen
times. and it always comes out. the
same. It'll take $40 fer the drunk,
dollar an half fer bed an breakfast,
three an q HALTER ca tridges. an that
won't leave . cussed cent to pay the
fine" I. Y a Y EVA 5.s,. - n, n ii Il
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

vestigating Garfield Tea. which is quite
universally acknowledged to be the best
family, remedy. it is not difficult to ex-
GOOD REsULTs! 1t is prepared here
by the Garfield Tea Co., in their new and
attractive laboratory and is made wholly
GIVING HERBS. Garfield Tea is the
ORIGINAL herb cure for constipation
and sick headache,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
F1GUR1NG OUT HER sH.Rr.

ElGUN1NG OUT HER SHARE.
Eunice had been doing some figuring
on her slate.
Papa" she said, do you know this
country eats about 100000 tons of
sugar every year?"
mo. don't know it, replied papa,
taught by past experience to be eau
tious.
well, it's SO. 1 saw it in a paper. y
Eyes, what of it, dear?"
Nothing, only I've been filming out
how much every man, woman and
child in the United States eats on an
average"
well, how much is it?"
ITS about Sc pounds year. don't
believe l eat half Of that, and yet you
make fuss every time want"
"That1l do, child. I surrender.
Here's a quarter. Go and get your
box. of candy
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
The Nudity Cure.

There is village in Austria, near the
Ardiatic, where the nudity cure is prac-
ticed. The debilitated Inconsistencies.
the tired. etc, can go there, and, in the
costumes Of Adam, expose themselves
to the air, the SUMS rays or the rain.
Thickets are carefully arranged to as
to cut off all view Of the patients; a hat
and short trunk only are allowed. The
sexes are separated. Baths, massage,
gymnastics and games are INDUCED in.
and a strict vegetarian diet completes
the Observation-Disclosures Hopitaux.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
~straa'was nov which way the wina

'stra1s nov which Way the Wina Il
,gS II b Blowss al "a ii u
md the constantly increasing demand
Tor and steady growth in popularity
of 81 Jacobs OH among all classes 81
people In every part Of the civilized
world, show conclusively what remedy.
the people use for their Rheumatism
fand bodily aches and pains. Facts
speak louder than words, and the fact
remains undisputed that the sale Of st.
Jacobs OIL is greater than all other
remedies for outward application COM
bined. It acts like magic, cures where
everything else fails,s conquers pain.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
Seemed Like work.

Mamma" said Kitty, docs the Lord
know everything?"
Eyes, DEAR"
Kitty pondered moment.
docs he know what would have hap
Pened if everything that did happen had
gone different?"
Eyes; have no doubt He knows that,
too"
WELL" she said, drawing long
breath. II should think it would have
made Him awfully tired!"
For children, be it Observation-Disclosures
and the Rev. Sam Jones-may say
things frequently that would be irrev-
brent in other folk.-Chicago Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

Widow Goosefeshel Oh, dear, oh,
dear. Mrs. Gossup. I cant tell you how
4 feel. Whenever / wake up In the
night and It happens to strike IL, i i'm
iagine that my dear, dead husband will
appear to me!
Mrs. Gossup fconlSorting) But, my
dear. poor woman, how can you mag
Inc such = thing! Your husband never
q q appear uni. a after two n. the morn
Ing. you know. s.s
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
PATIENTS.

List of Patents Issued Last Week to
Northwestern Inventors.
Bengt. Bengtssony St. James. Mimi,
window; Samuel Johnson, Winona,
Mimi, can opener; Lars Landing, Glen
wood, Mimi, manifold sales book; ST.
vert Nelson, Crookston, Mimi, hinge;
John Owens. Minneapolis, Mimi, grain
separating machine; Hershom Peter
son, Duluth, Mimi, ratchet drill.
/ I.othrop & johnson. patent attorneys, GIL &
o12 Pioneer Press Bldg, St. Paul, Mimi
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
Johnnie Wanted to Know.

4, "Pa, what is bookworm q
"A bookworm, my boy, is a species OF
worm that IS found in very old books.
els it bad for dogs r. Il III v 49, IS
81 ''For dogs?' I guess It wouldn't do
'em any good f ID s. AN.
''Then I'm sorry let Fido eat the In
sides outsof that old book you; said was
worth more n forty dollars. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
Ladie. Can Wear Shoe.

One size smaller after using Aliens
Foot Ease. powder. It makes tight
or new shoes easy. Cures swollen, hot,
sweating. aching feet. ingrowing nails,
corns and bunions. All druggists and
Shoe Stores, 25c. Trial package FREE
by mail. Address Allen S. Olmsted, LIE
Roy, N. Y. $3.50
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
The Chorus Girl.

Kitty-That young chap, Charlie Os-
good. has fallen in love with a chorus
girl.
Jane-Well, there's nothing strange
about that. Young boys always fall in
love with girls old enough to be their
motkers.-Detroit Free Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

The fact that little Delaware is the
oldest state In the Union gives her gov
ernor social precedence over all other
state executives who may share with
him any official entertainment in Wash
ington. November Ladies Home Jour-
nal. y
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
Only His Wife.

did you hear about the sensational
scrape Old Gayboy got into at Atlantic
City? He was seen kissing a woman
on the hotel piazza
Nothing strange about that"
mot at first sight; but they discov-
cred that it was his "-Baltimore
American.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
THE CHAMPION WING SHOT.

Capt. BoEardus Has Dangerous
Experience but Comes Out Unhurt.
Ferris Wheel Park, Chicago, Nov. 4th.
Capt. A. HI. Bogardus, the champion
wing shot Of tn, world, has spent the
summer here. His shooting school has
been one of the features Of the Park
during the season. He has given many
exhibitions, and his skill with the rifle
Is superb.
The Captain tells of very close call
he once had when living at Elkhart, Ill.
He had been a sufferer from Kidney
Disease for several years, and it rapid
iy developed into Bright's disease. All
his friends told him that this was incur
able and that he would never get better.
To say that he was alarmed is to put
It mildly. This plucky man had faced
many dangers, and it made him sick at
heart to think that at last he was to be
conquered by such cruel foe.
At last he heard of medicine that
had cured many such sases-Dodd's
Kidney Pills. He used them and was
completely restored to good health.
He says:-T attribute my present
to nothing else.''
Gibson Girls I'm Far-Awsy Hawaii.
The popularity Of the book does not
seem to be on the wane. On the con-
trary. it is spreading to distant parts Of
the world. This is evidenced by the fact
that 1.-THE Gibson Play" which APP
peared some months ago in the Ladies'
Home Journal, and which might be
called book play even though 1t was
made possible by the series of pictures
drawn by Mr.. Gibson, entitled "a Wild
ow and Her Friends" was presented by
the students of Oahu College, Honolulu.
in the Hawaiian Islands. a few weeks
ago. The various parts were assumed
by native Hawaiians, who, it is said,
acted them in a truly American man.
ner.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
Time Wa. His money.

Church-Did you say you spent much
time on farm when you were boy? /.
Gotham-Yes; that is the only thing
I-had to spend.-Yo nkers Statesman.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

lam sure Piso's cure FOL. Consumption sayea
my life three years ago-Mrs THos. RoBB1us.
Maple Street. Norwich. N. Y. Fab II. 1900
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

Are You Using Aliens Foot-Ensee
It is the only cure for Swollen.
Smarting, Burning, Sweating Feet.
Corns and Bunions. Ask for Aliens
Foot Ease, a powder to be shaken into
the shoes. At all Druggists and Shoe
Stores. 25c. Sample sent FREE. Adj
dress Allen S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. z.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

Colonel Ruddygore-what did I do
last night?
Hotel Clerk-You got drunk and
shot man.
Colonel Ruddygore-Is that all?
was afraid had insulted somebody;
thanks.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
For children teethng softens the gums reduces in
fammation, aays PAIN cures wind colo. Csc bottle.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15

Perhaps Daisy Lives In Boston.
Daisy--I have made up my mind to
enter society.
Hardhead-What has your mind got
to do with it?GSmart Set.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-11-15
HIS AsC1:,,ENl,st,ToNl,

From the New York Times: When
the young minister rli ste Of high church
tendencies was called to preside over
congregation that abhorred ritual.
ism, and was q stickler for the SIM.
plest Of services, he called on Bishop
Potter to ask what would be the "a Z
suit il he went in for ritualism lust
q bit. ~ 3es
Suppose I should burn q, pastille
Of two during the service; what IA,
you think would happen. bishop, Tor
4 dearly wish to try the experiment ?,
Four congregation would be IN
9censed, your vestrymen would fume,
and you would 60 out in smoke. g
quickly replied the bishop. sif @