The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-06-13

Herr Is the latest story q Jsdss
Henry e. Rowland, -one Of t1is most
popular after-dinifer speakers Of New
Yq6k: There was little boy who was
bdllly puzzled over the theory Of eyolu-
don. He went to his mother and ask
a.: Mamma. am I descended from Z
monkeyT 4 don't know she answer
eds 4 never met any Of your fathers
Herbert a, Giles gives the following
example Of Chfnese humor IN his His:
tory Of Chinese Literature'::1 "A man
who had Deem condewped to wear .
wooden collar was seen BY some Of his
friends. swhat-have you been doing 2
they asked-him. to deserve thisY oh.
nothing hesreplied; Il only picked up
an old piece of rope And you are to
be punished thus severely they said,
for merely picking up an end Of roper
WELL answsr9d the man, the fact, il
that there was a bullock tied to the
other end"
In his biography Of Phillips Brooks,
Alexander v. G.. Allen Of Cambridge
tells Of clergyman who was going
abroad. and talked in jest of bringing
back a new religion with him. You
might have some trouble In getting 1t
through the custom house." some ONE
remarked. mo-" observed Bishop
Brooks; I'VE may take it for granted
that a new religion would have no du-
ties attached" Another person. for
the sake. no donbt. of argument. once
drew attention to the fact that some
men. calling themselves atheists. seem
ed to lead moral lives, and Brooks
promptly disposed of 1t. They have
to-" said he; "tlfey have no God to for
give them II they don't"
An old Scotch farmer once went to
have troublesome tooth extracted.
Said the dentist, after looking at the
offending molar: at is a very ugly one.
sT.would advise you to have It out by
the painless system. 1t is only shill-
ing extra" He showed the farmer the
apparatus for administering gas, re-
marking that 1t would cause him to
tall asleep for a minute. and before he
-awoke the tooth would be out. After
slight resistance the sufferer consent
ed. proceeding to open his purse. ooh.
never.minA paying just now" said the
dentist, kindly. "Hootsw answered the
cautious old Scot. "A' wasn't thinking
o. that; but If Am ga'en Ia sleep A.
thocht A. wad like Ia count ma siller
fust." -.
Frederick the Great once had occa-
sion to rebuke his cavalry for shirk.
ing their duty. According to "a His
tary Of Frederick the Great" he said:
Gentlemen. ! am entirely dissatisfied
with the cavalry; the regiments are
completely out Of hand. there Ii no ac-
curacy, no order; the men ride like
tailors. beg that this may not occur
again, and that each Of You will pay
more attention to his duty. But know
how things 60 on. You think am not
up to your lodges, but know them al
and will recapitulate them. When the
season for riding dsill comes on. the
captain. sends for the sergeant major.
and says: 4 have an appointment this
morning at -. tell the first lieutenant
to take the rides So the sergeant ma
jor goes to the senior subaltern and
gives him the message. and the latter
says: What! the captain will be away:
Then am OF hunting; tell the second
lieutenant to take the men,. And the
second lieutenant, who y probably stin
in bed, says: What! both Of them
away? Then will stay where am.
l. was up till three this morning at
dance; tell the cornet I am i'll. and he
mnst take the rides.' Finally. the cor
1a remarks: Look here. sergeant ma
Jof. what is the good Of my standing
out. there In the cold? You knbw all
about It much better than do. you
go and take Them And 30 1t goes, and
what must be the end of it all? What
can / hope to do with such cavalry be-
fore the enemy?" -