New-York tribune., 1901-04-24
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

"A prominent citizen, former president OF the
Chamber of Commerce" says THE Cleveland
Plain Dealer was abroad not very long ago.
incidentally it may be stated that while he Is not
a crank teetotalism, he personally aostalns
from all alcoholic beverages. While ne was IN
Berlin he determined order suit of clothes.
He went to a tailor who we'll recommended
and looked at his clothes. The tailor was anxious
to show the entire stock. and had something pleas
ant to remark concerning the virtues OF eacn piece
Finally he paused and held bolt of cloth before
him. with ecstatic expression on his face An
he cried, 'chust look at dot. Dere is piece dot
must exactly suit you. 1t neffer will show no beer
stains! But the Cleveland man took something
else
Ascum-I understand your minister is devoting
Churchman-Well he has been complaining that
his salarys too small, If that's what you mean by
hire criticism '-(Philadelpha Press.
THE PHILADELPHIA Record" "Orville j.
Nave. chaplain of the army, who has the record
for making objections to assignments given
him than any officer of the service is at last on
his way to the Philippines, after nearly two years
controversy with the authorities over this detail
Chaplain Nave has been ordered to report for duty
at Manila half a dozen times, and on each occa-
sion he has protested against his assignment and
managed escape Six weeks ago he received
ORDERS for the sixth time, to join some regiment
in the Philippines. AS was expected at the War
Department, ne entered objection. This time the
officials intimated that he obey instructions
without further protest or be court-martialed
The chaplain obeyed orders. and sailed on Saturday
on the transport Thomas"
Husband of Gifted writer-Is your novel nearly
Gifted Wrlter-Yes my dear; but my hero must
well after he's dead, will you sew this button
on for me?"-(Flegende Blatter.
John Cairns is the agent of express company
Scranton Kan. Not long jug of liquor
his office addressed a certain man, and
it had a c. o. D. attachment. The man 10 whom IL
yaS add ad rafIIc to ke Cairns
notified the shipper ct Kansas City. Thereupon
the shipper instructed Cairns to deliver the liquor
any would pay the charges. procedure
which is said be quite common in the State
Some citizen of Scranton paid the charges and
took the liquor. but a little later Cairns was ar
rested on the charge of selling whskey contrary
to law. At the trial he was found guilty and SEN
fenced fine of 800 and thirty days in jail.
from which. however. he has taken appeal
Once upon time there lived in Chicago. nl..
a little boy who would not 10 school.
Instead Of beating him his parents appealed 10
Unless you go TO school" said they. you won't
be counted in the school census and the school
census is often used as a basis for estimating the
population OF our beautiful city .,s..-,..
that his mind became affected.
"Alas!' cried his parents for now. when It was
too late, they perceived the unwsdom or sparlng
the rod-(Detroit Journal
The faculty of Stanford University, in California
has directed that saloon and cafe advertisements
be omitted from The Daily Palo Alto" the
college, paper. Inc managers OF the paper nave
relied mainly upon such advertisements for fnan-
cial support. and publication may be suspended
Extra Observation-Disclosures is the price OF these
gloves?'
Two dollars"
you selling for 81 90"
Same glove. ma'am. That special sale
Chicago Tribune.
The latest statistics of the Salvation Army show
that there are 732 corps in the United States
with twenty-four food depots. which have furnished
10000 monthly meals and 1870 social institutions
the poor, with total daily accommodation in the
for 300 The workingmen's hotels number
sixty-six and the workingwomen have six with
aggregate of 6.525 inmates. Five labor bureaus
and three farm colonies established. the latter
having 90 lahorers. Other minor institutions and
sum settlements number about eighty in all. The
expenditure all these institutions in 1860
s253coo of which $4,000 raised by the work
the payments of inmates.
How would you like to be a Car and have
everybody afraid of yOu?" asked the ambitious
person.
Il wouldn't like it answered the plodder. "un-
less ! could manage IL without being myself afraid
of every body else.''-(W ashington Star