The times., 1901-03-25
4 Freak,


Journalistic Freak.
There is journal Of Christian Science
| published somewhere in the wild West
| it has removed it's habitat two or three
! times during it's brief existence-whicf
| is almost as good an example of English
| gone crazy as that Cure for the Blues
commented on so pungently by Mark
| Twain. 1t contains paragraphs which a
| baby could understand, others which a
| justice of the Supreme Court could not
| explain. and still others of which it is
! difficult to say whether the trouble with
| them is that the writer was trying to say
| something which he did not know how
to say, or that he was simply talking.
| The paper is an endlessly interesting
study in the vagaries of perfectly un-
trammeled human minds. and indicates
| what We might all have come to if some
of our ancestors had not had common
sense. and if the public schools were not,
on the whole beneficent restraining in
fluence in this land
The editor of this publication is affec-
tionate with his readers This is the kind
of thing that he gives them:
Il am the Light of the World!
81 say unto you, my Sweetheart that the days
of miracles can never pass. I Am Spirit and,
therefore, / create and Tecreate every day.
say, all the time, Let there be light | Am
the bright and morning star. | Am the sun oi
Righteousness i Am the only real Light, and
he who follows me will not walk in the dark
ness"
There is no false modesty about him,
either. Witness this:
81 am doing greater things than Christ did
| ir4-f,g1 l., 4.
in all parts of the earth. His work was confined
to a small district in obscure part Of the
world. ! am doing just what he said the Spirit
Christ would do, | speak the Word of Truth in
the Silence and heal all manner of sickness.
have patients in London, Rome. Vienna and in
all parts of Europe. l healing the sick in
Australia. Mexico. South America and in all
parts OF the civilized world
The typewriter girl in the office has a
column of her own. and it is entitled
Helen Hints" 1t contains about the
only grain of real sense there is in the
paper. his is part of the column, in
cluding the grain of sense:
Il am Helen.
Il the Ticker who ticks the stamps
81 am the addresSer who addresses the en-
yelopes.
Il am the one who sits here and writes down
what the Boss says And sometimes he doesn t
care whether ] hear it or not, but walks the
EioE ana tdiks 70 himself, ana / nave TO eaten
every word the best | can.
1T is good place TO work for the life cur
rent Is so strong you don't get weary.
Il wish that each one would send self-ad-
dressed and stamped envelope.
The style of the editor and contribu-
tors is at times exceedingly strong. So
are some things which one would not
care to introduce into literature Com
menting on Mrs Nations performances,
the editor says:
Jesus seems to be having he'll OF a time in
this same Topeka. As | said before all is Good
1t IS all right for cats 10 scratch, but | not a
cat. therefore ! refuse to scratch
1t is perhaps we'll that the editor ex-
plained that he is not a cat, for there is
not much more meaning or continuity in
most of his paper than in the ordinary
feline operas on the back fence.
The mystery about the whole business,
to the average reader, is that such pa
per as this somehow does get published
and find readers. 1t is inconceivable that
any man should keep such a thing going
for his private amusement, and pay all
the expense of it himself, because ii is
inconceivable that any man with the
brains to get. or to keep, moderate
amount of money, would perpetrate such
ii liIlIE- B1tiife there must ne persons,
somewhere in the known world, who
make up it's subscription list It would
be interesting to know who they are.
They might be people with a sense of
humor keen enough to relish the uncon-
scionable absurdities of the writer's or
they might be people without any sense
of humor at all, who take the whole of it
seriously. 1t is rather difficult to con-
ceive Of mind which would really and
truly accept the astounding statements
of the editor as gospel truth; even more
difficult than to picture the originator of
those statements; because there have
been fakirs in all ages. Yet there must
be such people in this country. There are
not enough persons who would appreciate
the value Of the paper as humorous mat
ter to make up a subscription list three
inches long, even If they all knew about
it. This is mystery which will possibly
never be solved.