West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-06-06
BEING INITIATED.
The Boys and the Billy Goat Give
the Old Man the Royal Bumper
Degree.

set you to thinking OF that ?" asked the
groceryman. as he went to the desk aud
charged the boys father with half a pound
Of cinnamon.
We'll. do the goats bunt when you
nishiatc a fresh candidate ?"
No. OF course not. The goats are cheap
ones, that have no life and we muzzle them
and put pillows over their heads. so they
cant hurt anybody. said the eroceryman.
as he winked at a brother odd Fellow. who
was seated on a sugar barrel, looking mys.
terious
But why do YOU ask ?"
oh nuthin. only I wish me and my chum
had muzzled our goat with pillow. Pa
would have enjoyed a becoming a member
OF our Lodge better. You see Pa had been
telling ms how much good the Masons and
Odd Fellows did, and said we ought to try
TO grow up good so we could joln the
Lodges when we got big and asked Pa II
1t would do any hurt for us to play Lodge
~ my room and pertend to nishiatc. and
ia said Il wouldn't do any hurt. lie said
II would improve our minds and learn us TO
be men. So my chum and me borrowed
goat that lives in livery stable and car
Ma were out riding. but the goat battered
so we had TO tie a handkerchief around his
nose and his feet made such noise on the
hoor that we put some Of baby's socks on
his feet. Well. sir. my chum and me
practiccd with the goat until he would
ount picture Of goat every time We
borrowed buck beer sign from a saloon
man and hung II on the back OF a chair and
the goat would hit it every time. That
night Pa wanted to know what we were
doing up in my room. and told him we
were playing lodge and improving our
minds. and Pa said that was right: there
was nothing that did boys OF our age so
much good as TO initiate men and store up
useful nolligc. Then my chum asked my
Pa II he didn't want to come up and take
the grand bumper degree. and Pa lated
and SAID he didn't care If he did. lust TO
encourage us boys in innocent pastimc that
was so improving to our intellex. We had
smut The goat up in closet in my room and
he had got over blatting so we took off the
handkerchief and he was eating some Of
my paper collars aud skate straps.
We went upstairs and told Pa TO come
up pretty soon and give three distinct raps
and we ask him who comes there. he must
say. a pilgarlic who wants to ioin our
ancient order and ride the goat Ma
wanted TO come up too. but we told her IL
she come up it would break up the lodge
cause woman couldn't keep secret. ard
we didn't have sidc-saddlc for the goat.
Say II you never tried il. the next time YOU
nishiate man in your Mas lodge lust
sprinkle little kyan pepper on the goats
beard just before you turn him loose You
can get three times as much to the square
inch goat. You wouldn't think II was the
same goat. Well. we got all fixed and Pa
raped and we let him in and tod him he
must be blindfolded and he got on his
knees lafing and we tied towel around
his eyes and then turned him around and
made him get down on his hands also. and
then his back was right toward the closet
door, and put the buck-beer sign right ND
against Pas clothes He was laffind all
the time and said boys were as full of fun
as they ever MAKE EN- and we told him il
was a solemn occasion. and we wouldn't
permit any levity and if he didn't stop
lafhng we couldn't give him the grand
bumper degree. Then everything was
ready and my chum bad his hand on the
closet door and some kyam pepper i'm the
other hand and asked Pa in low bass
tone il he felt as though he wanted TO turn
oack or II he had nerve enough to 20 ahead
and take the degree. / warned him il was
full OF danger, IS the goat was loaded and
told him he had yet time to retreat his
steps II he wanted to. He wanted the
whole business and told us TO 20 on with
the menagerie. Then / said to Pa II he
had decided to go ahead and not TO blame
us Tor the consequences. 20 repeat after
me the following Bring forth the Royal
Bumper and let him bump, Pa repeated
the words and my schum sprinkled the
kyan pepper on the goats mustache. and
he sncezed once ard looked sassy and then
he sees the lager beer goat roaring. so h
started for il just like COW catcher aud
blattcd. Pa is real fat and he knew he
mad got Int and hc grunted and said
What are you boys q doing = And the
goat gave him another degree and Pa
pulled of the towel and got up and started
Tor the stairs and so did the goat and Ma
was at the bottom OF stairs listening. and
when looked over the banistcrs. pa and
| Ma and the goat were all in a hoap and
| Pa was yelling murder and Ma was
screaming Ere. and the goat was blattng
| and sneczing and bunting and the hired
/ girl came into the hall and the goat took
| after her and she crosses herself lust al.
/ the goat struck her and said Holy mother
/ protect me and went downstairs the way
| we boys slide down bin with both hands on
/ herself and the goat reared up and blattcd
/ and pa and Ma went into their room and
| shut the door. and then my chum and me
| opened the front door and drove the goat
/ out. The minister wb0 comes 90 see Ma
| every three times a week was just ringing
the bell and the goat thought be wanted TO
| be Insulated too and gave him one for
| luck. and then went down the sidewalk
| blauing, and sneezing and the minister
/ came into the parlor and said be was
/ stabbed and then Pa came out OF bis room
with his suspcndcrs hanging down and as
he didn't know the minister was there. DE
i cusscd and Ma cried and told pa hc would
| 60 20 the bad place sure and Pa. said ho
didn't care, Doc would 300 that cusscd goat
| atorc DE went. and Z told IA The minister
was 100 the parIor and Dc and Ma went
down. and while they we're talking my
chum and one adjourned the lodge and
| went and stayed with him aU night and Z
haven L been home since but don't be-
hevc ia VIII lick me. cause hc wouIdn.
hold us responsible for the consequences.
Tie ordered that goat hissclf and we filed
the order don't you sec Well. ] guess
will go and sneak in thc back way and find
ont from the hired g.r how thc land LAYS
She won go back on mc cause the goa,