Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1901-12-26

~ 'Schley' trial." asked Uncle
Bill as he brought his boot
heel down on the editors desk so hard
that il turned the Don't Loaf Around
Here Sign with its face towards the
wall
1t does not matter, what decision
that court of inquiry rendered replied
the editor. the American people will
give Admiral Sehley place among the
great heroes of the nation"
That decision is like one uv 'Zeb
Bowens. when one asks him bout eny-
thing he ginprally starts off by sayin',
Wall. tell yer. It's an then taiG't. an
that jest about covers the hull ground
A hull lot of our navy fellers act like
lot NV school boys; they don't want
ter play onless they kin BE- It.. an
there amt no, use NV the navy depart
ment tryin' ter make heroes out NV
their pets, cause heroes aint made that
way in this country Nv course. they
rob Schley out NV his prize money by
this decision. but they can't rob him NV
admiration Nv the American people.
Well, Uncle Bill am glad to see
you so warm friend of Admiral
Schley," remarked the editor.
Every one is a warm friend nv a
commander what wins battles. like
Schley won an then when he sent in
his report NV it, he said There's glory
enough fur us ALL an now ter have a
lot NV honor seekers, what was miles
away at the time NV battle talk bout
him dlsobeyin' orders, he went in an
got what the people wanted an that
was victory while Sampson was on on
little spin teachin sum wv his men
how ter act in society. an how ter make
a loop with a fork an a piece NV pie.
stead NV usin' a knife like they'd ought
ter, but after the battle was over he
cum back with smoke In his whiskers
an sent in his report NV it, takn all
the credit jest the same as though he'd
bin mixed up in the real smoke NV bat
tie stead Nv cummin' out and givin'
Schley credit like most all NV the
American people did, he begun ter raise
his eyelids in his best society style an
then begun ter scratch himself on the
back and say ter himself, Guess I'll dig
up little hero worship fur myself. but
the harder he'd dig the more the people
would shout fur Schley.
Admiral Sampson established one of
the greatest blockades that the world
has ever known" said the editor, And
deserves a lot of credit too, and while
1t may be true that he in a certain
sense, desired the credit of the battle, |
do not think that he wished to rob Ad-
miral Schley of any credit due him. as
an officer commanding the battle
fought
ss'I' hero " o. iAEf a he
claimed Uncle Bill IF he didn't want
the glory what he never kin git. what
in the name NV the Old Harry, is ali
this fuss about? Stead nv beginnin ter
talk bout Schley not obeyin' orders.
what he sent by fellers, as wasn't ex-
pected ter deliver EN-, why didat he
concede the honor where it was due?
an then everyone would have been
happy
1T is remarked by some, said the
editor, that ali this fuss has been rails
ed by politicians who are anxious to
have Admiral Schley run for prcsi-
dent"
Yer can't make me believe that. re-
piled Uncle Bill Dewey had sum
presidential bees buzzin' round in his
mind fur awhile. but he soon got EN-
hived. an jest fancy Admiral Schley
out with an ole tin pan a tryin' ter
drum down a swarm Nv presidential
bees. Enoch Woodbridge said that Ad-
miral Schley ought ter nv said nuthin'
but saw wood.
Il believe that would have been bet
ter" responded the editor.
Eyer do, Ell? snapped Uncle Bill.
Say. forty years ago when was Twin
in York state. Seth Markham was a
boy that everybody liked. cause they
used ter say that he said nuthin' but
sawed wood Wall was back there
last summer an there was Seth hump
ed up over a pile NV wood. an ! said.
Seth, how are yer?' an he said I'm
purity tolerable well. Bill. only my saw
is a leetle mite dull He amt sayin'
much yit but he's still dom a heap nv
wood sawin. Now Schley has got sand
enough, so'st when a historian calls
him coward he quits sawin' wood
long enough ter say. Prove IL. gosh
durn yer He didn't care enything
bout the honor NV winnin the battle
cause President Mckinley made him a
Rear Admiral fur that but ter have
the national historian dub him q cow
ard. then he jumped inter the harness
an said, Investigate. an sum Nv them
admi-1ls what's bin rusticatin' In navy
yards all their lives find THAI he is gull
ty ny everything but petty larceny. but
they commended him fur bein brave,
al least Dewey aid Tar b. dnows What
a fight is. an he knows how ter make
a Loop cause he pulled away fur
breakfast an purity soon he had another
attack nv Git there Ell. cum on. an
then he give the Spanish an upper cut
that made EN- duck inter the water an
hang ont their washin'"
Yes. that was great victory. an so
was Schley's." said the editor. but
Sampson got the prize money"
THAT ought ter Nv satisfied him A." an
swered Uncle Bill but the hull ca
Doodle ny en- can't rob Senley nv the
honor. not with the masses at eny rate:
this is purity good country ter look
after it's Heroes an man what tries
te- rob one is only robbin himself
Wall BY ding ! must make a Loop an
steer fur home. or III have a battle on
hand with Helen whore heroes don't
cI eay figure
n mar hp went g4wft the tpeef !. bcI-