Mesa free press., 1901-02-15
~~~~~o~~~~

OW SOlue udy, SIT you may want SILL
lin, an that I'll be able to give it to
yer!-Punch.
Gladys-Papa, do you suppose that
the Parisians will understand my
French? Papa-I can't say, Gladys; If
you speak French as fast as you speak
English they won't even know 1t is
French.-Indianapolis Journal.
DO you ever stay out late and worry
your wife?" asked the young woman.
Sometimes" answered Mr.. Meekton
In a contrite tone. "Only yesterday
didn't get home to dinner until quarter
past 6. 6."-Washington Star.
whats your husband doin' now p
asked the neighbor. .'Well," answered
Mrs. Corntossel, "'pears to me like the
amt doin' much Of anythin' except
scoldin' our boy Josh fur not bein' more
Industrious. Washington Star.
Mrs. Nagsby Qmpatiently calling)-
Nora, drop everything at once and
come to me! Nora-Yes, ma'am. Mrs.
Nagsby-Now, whats the baby crying
for? Nora-'Cause l dropped him,
ma'am.-Glasgow Evening Times.
To send away: "Well, that caps the
climax" whats that?' "Cook says
those folks in that little house on the
corner came over while we were gone
and had their photographs taken sitting
on our veranda." indianapolis Jour
nal
His Own Interpretation-Why, John
ny, I'm ashamed of you! How could
you take little Ethel's half of the apple
away from her?' "'Cause, ma, ain't
forgot what you told me-to always
take sisters part. philadelphia Even
L ing Bulletin.
"Then you regret being an old maid p
"Yes, do. I might as well have been
downtrodden by husband and six chill
dren of my own as be at the beck and
call of the husbands and children of all
my sisters and intimate friends. Chi
cago Record.
The Landlady-Oh, Mr.. Strivers will
come back fast enough. There's no dan
ger of his leaving this house. He knows
on which side his bread is buttered. The
Undisciplined Boarder (sotto voce)-
When he is away from here-oh, yes,
very likely.-B Boston Transcript.
What He Expected to Do-Would you
take our darling daughter from us ?
tearfully asked the mother. "Why-er
yes" replied the startled youth. '"That
was my idea. IL really hadn't con-
templated taking the whole family, you
know" Chicago Evening Post.
Towne-C Colonel Bluff told me he had
spoken to the governor about a job for
you. Browne-Yes; that was some time
ago. Towne-Didn't his influence have
any weight with the governor? Browne
II guess it had wait enough, judging
from the result.-Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Stubb-Maria, dear, you needn't
wait for me tonight. Mrs. Stubb-But
what will you do for a light, John?
Mr.. Stubb-Oh, I'll just take piece of
your bread in my pocket. That's light
enough for anybody. And she was so
pleased that she obey him to the letter.
Il will say" remarked the young
woman, "that he is not afflicted with
that self-consciousness which marks
the person of deficient culture" .No,"
answered Miss Cayenne, 'he isn't at all
self-conscious. He will be tiresome by
the hour without being in the least
aware of t."-Washington Star.
81 see," said the friend who had been
invited to dinner, "that the roast beef
is very rare. I really believe you had
it cooked that way because you knew
| my fondness for 1t" $50 glad it pleases
you," replied Mrs. Hiram Often, ''but
we had no say about it. That's the
way the policeman on this beat likes
Philadelphia Press.
| Natural Resentment = Mrs. Trow-
bridge-I'm going to cut Mrs. Utterbock
from now on, the mean thing. Mrs.
Teasdale did she ask for corn
bread and molasses at your tea? "No
she was looking at the cracker jar that
had decorated with Chinese charac-
ters and remarked to Mrs. Reading that
she didn't believe China was as bad as
| it's painted. Denver News.
Conjurer pointing to large cabinet
Now, ladies and gentlemen, allow me
to exhibit my concluding trick. I would
ask any lady in the company to step or
the stage and stand in this cupboard. ]
will then close the door. When oper
it again the lady will have vanished
without leaving a trace behind. Gen
tleman in front seat aside, to his wife,
II say, old woman, do me favor and
step up-Tit-Bits.
Don't you know better than ia
| tackle a man for a dime when he is
talking to ladies?" said the citizen on
the street corner, fumbling in his
pocket and finding nothing less than q
quarter, which he reluctantly handed
out. "Mebby you understand my bust
ness better'n l do, an mebby you
DON'T" haughtily replied Tuffold
Knutt, pocketing the coin and moving