Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1901-08-29
WAS SEEING THINGS.
That Was Why Colonel BugsnoStes
Firmly Resolved 10 swear
on


on.
Col Bugsnorter was very much dis
organized when he reached home the
other night and tried TO open the door
with his night key, as usual. He was
unsuccessful, as usual, and Mrs. Bug
shorter opened the door and regarded
him sternly, relates the San Francisco
Bulletin.
Col. Bugsnorter wreathed his arms
about the veranda post and smiled a
leery smile and remarked deprecating-
ly, as usual:
$50 shorty to trouble you, m'dearl
Mush got wrong keyl Lodge night, y
know, m'dear-lo'sh biznessl Mos'zh
tired t. death! Guess III go t bed.
m'dear!"
Mrs. BugsDorter said never a word
as the colonel wabbled into the hall
and stood blinking at his spouse in the
glare of the arc light. This was un-
usual.
The colonel began to climb upstairs
and fell over the first step, as usual,
and Mrs. Bugsnorter came 10 his as
sistance and helped him upstairs, as Of
yore. At thetop of the stairs the colonel
be gan the same speech of thanks for
his wife's courtesy which she had
heard regularly every night for years.
''Thanksh, dear, mush 'blizhl Had
bin headache all evenin'l Mos'h
tainted shev'rl times comm homel
Mosh-"
The colonel stopped and spread his
feet far apart. gazing stupidity at Mrs.
Bugsnorter with astonished, Keeling
eyes. The good lady never uttered
syllable.
The last stage Of the nights journey
was safely accomplished, and Col. Bug
shorter sat upon the edge of his bed
with his boots off. Mrs. Bugsnorter
had said nothing even yet.
'Gettin' pretty s'hleepyl" mumbled
Col. Bugsuorter, thickly. ''Guessh III
turn in nowi Goo nj, m love
The colonel watched Mrs. Bugsnorter
in state Of stupefaetion as she went
silently out and closed the door behind
her.
MOS 'str'orn'ry thing ever wit
nesshed!7 he muttered, shaking his
head slowly and addressing his boots,
which he held in his fumbling hands.
MOS 'str'or'n'ry thing ever sheet"
Half an hour later the policeman
found Col. BugsDorter on the opposite
side of the street, standing with his
feet away apart, his body projected
forward against the lamp post, around
which his arms were clasped. A boot
was dangling Imply IN either nerve
less hand, and he was staring stupid
" up toward the window of his wife's
room.
"Hello. colonel" exclaimed the Off
Ger. What are We doing here?"
MAXIM new rezh'lutionl" said the
colonel, without taking his eyes from
the dim light in the upstairs window.
"Goin' swear off"
what" exclaimed the policeman,
"gding to swear off? What's the mat
ter?-
sheen things! Wen home t-ni'-
wife met me at zhe doov-didn' shay
world Tain nash-rall Coin shwear
off"
The officer untapgled him from the
lamp post. piloted him across the
street and upon the versnds. Then the
kind-hearted Samaritan was about TO
ring the bell, when the colonel stopped
him.
Leave 'er lone. oil mani" he whis-
pered "Mus'h 'blizhl Won go in till
I've finished m rezh1utionzhl Couldn'
stan mother 'sperienzh like zhati Co
nj. OF man, shee We to-morrererer!"
Then the friend departed and soon
Col. Bugsnorter had forgotten his
troubles and was sleeping sweetlywith
his head on the third step down, one
foot in the flower bed and the other
up ON the veranda, while his arms were
flung abroad promiscuously.
And the clock struck four.