The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-07-03
|RINP CLARK STORIES
Gathered In and About the
Halls of Congress.

r.,,road Conductors Narrowing Elk
.,.rce With a Nervous Woman.
~. Parsons Strange Announce
nent-Anecdotes Related by Will
lam Jennings Bryan-lntroducing
s,..ker-The Thompson Twins.
mhso the old Man Acted Without
Advice.
downright, 1901, by Champ Clark
Members frequently regale the cloak
I'M babitues with stories either orig
stod or told. or both, by Ex-Governor
abort T. Taylor. Here is one credited
tbe governor, and whether he de-
,rros the credit or not it is good
Fnorrb to have originated in his witty
ran;
aTbpre was q nervous woman in
,ssoncer train. She inquired fire.
rortIv of the conductor as to what
limo she would arrive at a certain sta
i'm It was flag station, and the
rain did not regularly stop there. But
Nv innuiries. shrill and incessant, of
onductor, porter, brakeman and pas
E0ncors awakened the interest of every
mo in the coach. Finally they came
the station and by some mishap
ron+ two or three miles beyond with
Mt stopping. The conductor rang the
MI the great engine reversed, the
. rain backed slowly to the platform,
md the conductor, forcing his way
wriedly through the crowded car,
EOund the woman and said:
o'Come on, madam. Here IS your
ktaton. will help you Off
"What" responded the woman. I
lOnt want to get off, And, reaching
Tor a slick, black satchel, she said:
81 only wanted to take pill when
& NE reached that stationv F"
The Preacher Mixed Things.
Here is another attributed by the
member the genial ex-governor:
1.-THE preacher was in the habit of in
teryperSing his announcements with
Scripture texts. He would state dates
Hand places Of various services and
sprinkle along herewith texts for ser
mons or appropriate or inappropriate
Scripture quotations. These would be
4 Pun in together in a single sentence
Without care for comma, colon or Pc
od, For instance: There will be spe-
bal service at o'clock today in the
Aapel Everybody is invited. l wish
lOu all would come. He that believeth
3 Dot will be damned at 3 o'clock this
fternoOn in the chapel" which is the
nly precise date of damnation that l
Ver heard Of
u 'ne Of Mr.. Bryan's Stories.
However great a reputation William
ennngS Bryan has as an orator, the
eputation Of being a humorist has not
Uached to him, although he possesses
8 fcl vein of humor, uses a good deal
II IN his public speeches and great
a eal OF it in private conversation. He
capital raconteur. l know of no
ri lue pleasing spectacle than to see his
ue dark eye and his dark, mobile face
Sll up with the smile which is the
s dfolnger Of his contribution to the
ayety of the company.
ne tells this at his own expense:
IN 1885," says Bryan, (which was
lrst election year l was in Nebras-
GENERAL John NJ. Thayer was the
publican nominee for governor
uFassed a portion of the state, chiefly
gel acquainted, and made some 80
~ Speeches. paid my respects
lcuiarly to General Thayer, so
lVu 50 that | was afraid he had be-
tue offended with me. This fear was
tsiHy sroundless, as will presently
f'"I' General Thayer was elected
large majority and in due time
laugurated. The succeeding year
[atrleh's day was enthusiastically
lolated in Lincoln.
was a guest at the banquet. Gov
mayer presided. The menu was
Euu and the programme of
-@ and songs elaborate. General
al eyesight was not very good;
lieatiy friend prompted him as
nl 'ratures of the programme in an
mi lOue audible several feet away.
D,, NY turn came, | heard his
EsF say to him soto voce:
M, man j. Bryan Governor
arose and announced:
Is NJ next one on the programme
an D. Bryan And then. pulling