The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-19
1.-THE CORPSE MASTER"
Faithful and Cheerful Manner of nm
Army Undertaken mt Front.


Army Undertaken mt Front.
MY friend. the corpse master"
writes the man correspondent of the
London Telegraph in South Africa, lis
as yet an unknown genius. He deserves
publicity. and / am striving to en-
tighten the public regarding his merits.
A conscious or unconscious humorist,
no one has been able to take change
out of him in banter or earnest talk.
1T was in Natal, at Estcourt, and
during the war, that l first met Pri-
vate -. In those days, as since, we
had both sick and wounded. Maj.
Philip Hayes, r. A. NJ. c., was sadly
in want of someone to take charge of
the mortuary Now, soldiers as a rule
shirk jobs of this sort and avoid init
macy with morgue-keepers. Volunteers
were not forthcoming until Private
- heard of the position. His tastes
ran that way and he easily got the APP
pointment.
For few days he did his work and
did 1t we'll without making sign or
sound. Then he approached Mai. Hayes
and said: If you please, sir, / want
to speak to you upon an important
matter. l am an old soldier and
have several good conduct badges, and
l want you to make me a corporal
What for?' queried the Major. Be
cause, sir, If / amt a corporal l have
no proper authority over the corpses.'
THE Major was nonplused. The ar
gument was continued, but in the end,
although Private - was told he
would be granted a corporaPs rank,
but without extra pay, he won all
along the line, took the rank and the
I'D day extra. And cheap at the mon
ey, the doctors by and by thought him.
Shortly after Corporal - asked the
Major to come and look how we'll he
had arranged the deadhouse and that
he had there two handsome boys, one
a Church OF England and the other a
Roman Catholic. No. said Maj. Hayes,
although ! am a medical man, have
no curiosity or taste in that direction.
All hope is you conduct the funerals
in a becoming manner oh. yes. sir,
said Corporal -, I always sits on the
front of the wagon we have for a
hearse to take them to the cemetery.
could cry to think we amt got horses
to draw them. but only oxen. and
sometimes mules. But / does my best
and feels sad. And l covers their por
remains with the Union Jack. When
we are full the Union Jack is not big
enough, and, if you please. sir, wants
two more Union Jacks-it isn't decent
And he got them.
ION another occasion Corpse Master
Corporal vexedly complained of
the most irregular way the Tommies
sometimes carried the bodies into the
cemetery, taking them in head, instead
of feet, first. I've spoken to the cler-
gymen about It, and they have told me
to correct II, and have l your author
ity, Major, please?' Yes, certainly, ;
said Maj. Hayes, and that subject was
adjusted. Then Corporal - added:
Yes, sir; one of the clergymen is very
good to me. He knows I've a nasty Job
to do at times, and he very often gives
me drop of something when I feels
faint. l am not feeling very we'll just
now, sir And Mai. Hayes took the
hint, for those were the days good
liquor was scarce at Estcourt and Co
lenso, and was wondrously appreciated
by those with a taste for the article.
After his sip Corporal - became con-
fidential.
Sir, l always arrange the funerals
most decorously. The person that is
burying him does his part, and / have
a book of all the religious, and which
somedever he be I does mine, for I
acts as mourner and clerk and says the
responses and all the "Amens!" in a
loud voice. And toward night, If the
parson don't get on quick enough, I
generally gives him a hand with the
service, for 1 knows II all, by repeat
ing when he forgets. Now there was
ar officer with the burial par
ty to-day, and as 1t was
hot he tells the men to keep their
helmets on, but / took mine off, for, as
/ said to him, I'd rather have sunstroke
and take my helmet off than not pay
my respects to the corpse
Poor Corporal was found fault
with by the chaplains for writing texts
and placing them on the collins, so he
was had up before Major Hayes His
explanation was: Please sir, I take
them texts out of the Bible. l has one
lot for the married men and another
for the single. For the single men /
says, mot dead, but gone to his Fa-
Their" In heaven, and for the married
ones-Tm one myself-"Not dead, only
lent to the Lord" II he has got chill
dren / write a verse. From his sor-
rowing and loving widows and chill
dren." You see, search them first,
and IL I finds any little trinkets In their
pockets ] knows the widows would like
to have write and send them home to
the misses and mother. l asks them to
pay my postage expenses. as I amt a
rich man, sir, / knows them: they gem
orally sends me back more than the
article cost to send 1t home. knows
If / was dead il would be the same
way with my wife-she'd like to have
something to remember me by
when he left the army on this side.
having taken his discharge, he went TO
Mai Hayes and remarked: Sir, I'm
going away. You've been very kind. ]
should like to have the honor OF shak-
ing hands with you. I've just washed
mine and amt touched corpse to-day
Thank you. sir; good-by to YOU and
Corporal -- bowed himself out and
grimly saluted."
German Cruiser 10 Venezuela.