Evening star., 1901-11-16
4E DIDN'T SPEAK DUTCH

Il should never dream of going to Europe
asain-to any part of Europe. even includ-
ing Engiand--withous having somebody
| along as an Interpreter" said an amiabie
Mount Pleasant matron who recently re-
turned from tour of the continent. Such
dreadful time as we had, my husband and
|, and hesseema to get erosser and more
out Of pae5 5ence it'll the poor. uninstructed
folks whoaouldrM speak English every mile
that we Naver ID. We were In lots of
plaeess~is Ens5 nd where we actually
although Aey wx e supposed, to be speaking
English, ahd .mH poor dear of q testy hus-
band came near Eetting into fsticuffs with
scme of the Restaurant folks and BARRIERS
and tradespeople in Yorkshire because they
b-idled up andsseemed to be huffy when he,
not being able to understand the patois that
they believe is English, asked them why
they didn't speak the language Of their
king.
But in the really -and-truly foreign coun-
tries our difficulties were beyond belief
language but English. Now. I, being wo-
man, and therefore a reasoning being, am
M1il1ng to concede that there are several
languages spoken on the globe besides En-
gllSh, and to admit the right of the people
who are born and raised to these languages
to speak them in their own lands. But my
huspand, being man, and a man or ex-
cluslVeiy English speech. became more and
more ferocious over the languages of the
pei pie as We progressed on the tour. 1t
didn't make any difference where We were,
whether in the Tyrol or by the Italian
lakes. he seemed to take it as personal
anront when the people addressed him In
their own tongues, and he became even
mere angry when he inadvertently asked
one OF them question and received only a
shake of the head in reply, or an answer
out of.
The Internal imbecilesr he was ex-
claiming to me ali over Europe. how in the
dickens do they expect white man to talk
such idiotfc rubbish as that?'
But would expostuIate, they are
talking The. only language they know
Well, that's the reason 1 call 'em i'm
beetles" he would hetly retort.
=" But I would start to say, when he
would interrupt me with an outbreak such
as this: -... 8, ,,.4..>.
There are no ifs, ands and butts about
Il; they talk like a lot of monkeys-the
idea, of a man who talks English that's
fairly decent at any rate not being able to
get word of sense out of single one of
about two million alleged human beings
that he's addressed necessary questions to
all over continent that's supposed to be
civilized! ...s
And there. spoke the. average American
man abroad, for all the world. I'll never
forget the morning we first arrived in Am
sterdam. We started out early to explore,
and my husband became more gloomy and
morose every step We took over the utter
inability of any of the people We met to
upde rstand US. l suppose the Dutch people
are the least accomplished linguists in
Europe-at least they struck us as being
so. We didn't strike a single individual in
Amsterdam that could speak English.
Along in the afternoon we became hungry
and decided to hunt up some restaurant for
luncheon instead Of returning to the hotel.
So my husband began asking everybody we
met where there was a good restaurant.
They all stared yacantly at him and shook
their heads with awful solemnity without
word and passed on, many of them turn
ing about to look after us as IL they con-
sidered us escaped insane folks. After. he
had inquired of about fifteen people as to
the location of "a restaurant only to be
gszed at bovinely, and getting never so
much as word in reply, he certainly be-
came hostile. ,f. a.-..
g I'm going to get one of these Dutch
balloons to give me some kind of an intelli-
gibie reply to a civil question If I have to
stay right here on the streets of Amster-
dam for four thousand years.! he said to
me, horsely;g and with such utter unrea-
me have helped, throwing my head back
right there in the street and laughing at
hin1-which didn't tend to increase his
cheerfulness particle, as You may I'M
agne. - - ::
Finally he went up to gendarme--one
of. those ,funnyrlpoking little squatty male
persons. with the, exaggeratedly ferocious
expression of frlcountenance-and he fairly
baWled in the astopished gendarme's teeth
Say. my adipose friend of the Broad
way squad, can you and will you tell me
where can find place in this burg where
two pilgrims can get bite and a SUP of
something fit to eat and to drink"
He asked this question:, as 1 say, in an
exceedingly loud tone of voice-I observed
that most travelling American men shouted
their questions at foreigners, as if mere
volume of lung power would suffice to
bridge the conversational gulf that yawns
between two persons of different natienali-
ties who attempt to make themselves plain
to each other in their respective tongues
1.-THE gendarme gazed at my husband with
| amazement. He undoubtedly thought that
my husband was threatening him, and he
suddenly hopped back a couple of PAGES
and gave a peculiar whistle, which was i'm
mediately answered by a couple of other
gendarmes who came running around the
corner from schnapps shop where they
had been regaling themselves. NY poor
unreasonable husband wasn't a bit taken
back by their appearance, although began
to have visions of him being hailed off to a
noisome dungeon full Of rats and bats and
things. and Of my being compelled to go on
my knees to the American minister at The
Hague to have him released, and of nv
friends In washington reading of his being
arrested as a desperate character, and all
that sort of thing. I tried to pluck at his
sleeve and to get him to come away but
he put that inquiry as to the location of a
restaurant to each of the other two gen
darmes. in a tone louder than he had en-
pioyed before, and shook his fist at them
when they pulled at their bristly little mus
tachios and endeavored to look awe-inspir-
| ing. 1t was miracle that they didn't
seize upon him and arrest him, but they
didn't. He is, as You know, six feet three
| inches tall and broad In proportion, where
as none of the three gendarmes was much
above five feet in height, and that is per
| haps the reason they decided to make no
attempt to molest him However. thew
| linked arms and stepped back about six
PAGES and shook their fists at him and ga id
| very cultural things In the Dutch language
Il make no doubt they were swearing ter
| rlbly-and then they suddenly wheeled ard
marched off, still with their arms linked. in
the opposite direction. The funny way they
held their heads erect and their backs as
stiff as ramrods In executing this movement
served to restore my husbands good hu-
| NOR, and he stood right there on the nave
ment and beloved in his amusement. When
they heard his huge laughter they faced
about once more and shook their fists at
him, and then they went ahead again
| whereat he only howled the more.
We found little old, gloomy, but clean
restaurant after another half hour Of
searching, but was still SO nervous over
my husbands narrow escape from a donion
keep that when tried to slice the long ioaf
I nf rO0 Hv1f