The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-08-30
SPINNING WHEEL.

And smashed
Where oft they used to roll
While struggling for the goal,
And In the widespread mud
Went down with awesome thud.
Ans ana one on each ch+ o a3e5 piled
And others limped away.
Bruised victims of the fray
The whitelined grid,
Where all the things they did
Evoked the cheers,
Or briefly beloved songs
q watching throngs,,,
At last Is rid
OF players, crowds and noise
And griefs and joys,
Because the seasons at an end.
And heroes to the common plane descend.
The crowds that used to root
And foot
The ear-appalling horn
Till people wished they'd ne'er been born,
Are scattered far and wide,
Their zeal to other tasks applied.
And many are the thanks expressed
by citizens who get rest.
The heroes Of the game.
Who fiercely strove for fame,
+ Where are they now?
Some proudly pose with laurelcd brow;
Are objects Of the Surgeons o skill;
Some limp along with crutch or cane,
Their every step creating pain:
Allu some ny lengthy sitting VeXeO,
Await the busy BARRIERS "next!"
-Pittsburg ChronicleTelegraph.
Patrons of the vaudevilles have prob
ably been deprived of i portion of a
monologue that some one of those who
''do turn had worked out with vast
amount Of care and thought, under the
impression that it was funny. There is
in it just about the sort Of wit INDUCED
n in 0f oh hnn
owned it dropped it in one of the big New
York department stores of the town. 1t
was found by another shopper, who
turned it over to the Times of that city,
so that the mental effort may not be
wholly lost. Here it is:
"A TALE OF PANTS"
pants ale made for men and not for
women. Women are made for men, and
not for pants. When man pants for
a woman, and a woman pants for man,
they are a pair of pants. Such pants
don't last. Pants are like molasses-
they are thinner in hot weather and
thicker in cold. Men are often mistaken
III pants: such mistakes are breeches Of
promises. There has been much discus
sion as to whether pants is singular or
plural. Seems to us when men wear
pants It is plural, and when they don't
wear any pants it is singular. Men go
on tear in their pants, and it is all
right; when the pants go to a tear it is
aA wrong. II you want to make pants
last make the coat and vest first
Proved Conclusively-"What. Fishing
on the Sabbath?' exclaimed the clergy
man, reprovingly. Don't YOU know that
little boys who fish Oh the Sabbath 20 to
the bad place?' II guess dat's risht."
replied the bad boy, disgustedly. III
couidnt q struck no worse place dan
dis -Phlladelphia Press.
One Of the churches in little West
ern town is SO fortunate as to have a
Young woman as its pastor. She was
called to the door of the parsonage one
day, and saw there a much enrbarrassed
young farmer of the German type.
"DeX, said der minister lifed in dis
house, he said
"YeS;' replied the fair pastor.
Nell-m-1-1 want to kit merritt
10 get married! Very well. | can
marry you,' said the minsteress, en-
couragngly.
.'Oh. but 1 got girl alreaty." was the
disconcerting reply.-Brooklyn Life.
Forgot Himself-Wife-"AI DEAR Won
haven't a cold, have you:" Husband
" ..S1 Any headache:' "None at all
Rneumatlsm: mot PARTICLE "You
dont think it will rain, do you?' ''Nc
its most church time'-New York
Weekly.
Charles Sumner in most matters was
quick enough Of apprehension, yet even
ne lacked the sense Of humor 1t is said
that one day. after tidings had arrived
from washington Of the suicide of
Provost Paradol, the brilliant French
ambassador, Sumner was giving his theo-
RES as to the cause of the act. when
Lowell asked: Did you see the ambas
Yes was the reply; Il saw him cy-
cry day
Did you converse with him in English
or in French?"
oh, I talked nothing but French
"Gentlemen." said Lowell, 1--WE do no,
need to seek any further reason for his
death: this fully explains the suicide"
The explosion which followed. we are
told. Sumner was never able to under
stand.
10 a friend who had expressed his
sympathy for Sumner when taken i'll he
replied: II am not afraid to die, for |
have read through Calvin's Institutes in
the original Latin" philadelphia Post.
Primus--"A Although you are a million.
alre. my love is so great, sir, that it en-
boldens poor man like myself to seek
daughter of yours in marriage"
secundusw Which of the girls it is,
Primus-"Any one of the three, SIR
Tit-Bits.
':Oh. the disgrace of it ALL" went the
unhappy wife of the defauiting bank
employee.
Alas! Alas!' moaned her friends. not
knowing what to say.
''0h. the disgrace continued the sor-
rowing woman. ITO think that Henry
only got away with $4,000. when every
body else is taking all the way from
a hundred thousand to million.''
Now, when it was too late, she realized
her mistake in marrying an old-fashioned
man.-Baltimore' American.
Contractor-'Did you offer that alder
man f100 as l directed?' Secretary
Yes. SIR How did he act?'' "He
looked insulted." 'What did he sav?'
He said | ought to be in the peniten-
tiary.' What did he do:" He took
the ey.'-Tt-Bits
This is not q bad one. fold in tho To,-