The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-10-18
Coast Survey a Huge Joke.

Coast Survey Huge Joke.
The trials and fluctuations Of a coast
survey officer are set forth in amusing
fashion in communication 10 the edi-
tory OF the Army and Navy Register BY
Arahur H. Dutton. late first watch Of
ncer. Z. S. Coast and Geodetie Survey.
Among other things touched upon. the
writer says:
Difficulty in restraining my sense OF
huinor compeis me again to ask the hos
pitaiity OF your columns as a safety-vaiye
Tor my pent-up mirth in re the United
states Coast and GeOdetie Survey.
The jolly sea dogs who now almost e1-
ciusively officer the ships Of this enter
tanning service are among the bravest
men | ever saw. The absolutely fearless
way in which they undertake to iuggle
with nautical nomenclature commands
admiration. With rare exceptions. the as
sistants and aids in the Coast Survey
these two grades forming the aristocracy
OF the servicel scorn TO lower themselves
BY frankly seeking information. and hav-
ing things explained 10 them They pre-
ter the attitude of Unborn Omniseience
The results are funny.
In needless moment. once asked one
o. nv "captains" for permission to
.'heave short" From what happened
later, he Immediately inferred that TO
"heave short meant 10 get underway.
and such orders as 'heave short and pro
coed 10 so-and-so." etc. were a ioy for
him 10 issue for some time after. until |
broke him of the habit by reporting. one
day. that ] had hove short" and then
awaiting for further orders. He tum-
hled after few moments OF Intense
agonizing silence.
They still find great difficulty in over
NNa Lta,f.s n
downstairs" for ION deck" and below
They have gradually acquired familiarity
with such names as "top-mast" yard
helm ''halyards'' "gangwavs'' etc.
! hut progress beyond that has heen very
dow. On the square-rigged Pathfinder
md Patterson their troubles are awful
They have made some acquaintance with
the gear OF fOre-and-aft sail. but a
s0uare-sail i hopeless. Except when one
II the few remaining sea-faring officers
has the deck, the boatswain or one of his
mates always makes and takes in sail.
The hoatSwain on a Coast Survey shin
II the present dav is indeed an object OF
1ity. He has his hands full and his re-
possibilities are enormous. He would
e cheap at 5000 a month.
The people al headquarters In Wash
'ucton are even worse than those on the
ships. Their ignorance. extremely dense,
lacks even the opportunities for remed,
afforded by life on shipboard. They are
uniformly amusing. though | usually
-ried 10 make my official reports in sim
he language. but could not always do so
and | noticed that every item in which I
was compelled 10 be technical was ig-
ncred. Thus. when | had occasion TO re
Ter 10 the vertical Gins on the second
intercostal longitudinal" | 4. heard no
more from them. | hazarded the send
'ng IN Of some COMPASS renorts once. /
wish ! could reproduce the acknowledge
ment Ii was sent. though. to my com
handing officer. TO whom had TO return
IT,
Rank-relative and p0sitive-is a Cor
1ian knot TO these people. Efficiency suf-
fers much from the chaotic state pro-
duced by the indefinite arrangement of the
various officials. among whom are as
sistants. aids watch officers. deck officers.
clerks. nautical experts. recorders drafts
men. surgeons. engineers. etc. A circular
was issued some time ago. attempting to
establish rules of ''precedence" on coca
sions of ceremony: but il did not make
adequate provision for the numerous cases
of ''t,e' that are bound TO occur when
persons Of the same relative rank get TO-
yethcr. There was = striking and ludic-
rows cSse of this in Seattle few months
ago. when steam launch from the Pat
rcrson. containing. besides coxswain and
crew. three Coast Survey officers. collid-
ID with ? steamer. The three officers
we're an s'd a nautical expert and pilot.
The question as to which ranked and
should take charge was n nkOttv one but
the aid and the nautical EXPERT promptly
solved il BY jumping overheard and swim
ming 10 safety. leaving the pilot who
was On old. experienced scattering man.
70 work ent the rest of the problem.
which he did. and launch and crew were
saved
The nautical expert. by the way. had
never been 70 sea until he got his APP
pointr'ent in the survey n couple Of Years
ago. He honed IN for his examination
and knocked il. The character of the
examination was a mystery | have never
cleared M.
The present Coast Survey feet is real
" a huge joke. But I am truly thank
ful for my coUical experiences in il. for
strain offered bv the ludicreus side OF the
situation. ! should long ago have been
driven. ravinc. into padded cell.
And as Il the pest were not funny
enough. there has been an aftermath in
the attitude OF some Coast Survey Off
GERS toward me nerSonailv since vOnr pub
LEGATION Of nv previous letters The ex-
rasnreS therein have evidentiv jolted
these gentlemen. for thew now either CON-
icsllv cut me or else east at me the deadly
Care az = hasilisk.
II wonder though. II any Coast Survey
irfelIect knows a tasiliSk from hash
licaF
ARTHUR II. DrTrON.
Late First Watch Officer.