The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1901-09-05

Judge Frank Doster, Chief Justice
OF Kansas, recently turned himself
loose upon the college boy in Knocker.
He said:
! among other things, | would re-
/ form the college student or kill him
off. | knock on him. know we pre-
/ lend to dOte on him and effect to be-
llere that he is the hope and first care
/ Of the State. but it's ie We don't.
Nobody but his mother does. From
the time he first starts out to render
( Gdttt0 est Onanis dirisn in purtes tres
he becomes an insufferable nuisance.
If at that stage of his career his own
gall could be divided into 5000 parts
instead Of three and he left with only
/ one of them the relief to mankind and
! to himself would be inestima bic, be-
cause an infnitesmal fraction of the
whole Of what he has would suffice
the needs Of an ordinary mortal.
"Why do | say these hard things
abou, him? | say it because he is
self-important, egotistical, cnnceited,
| ignorant of all practical wisdom,
parts his hair in the middle. tlau.ts
/ his fraternity badge and school colors
| in an offensive, challenging sort OF
way in everybody's face, and prances
up the street yawping his ear split
ting college yell to the fright and dis
gust of all timid, sensitive folk within
! sound.
- saw him at the Twentieth Kan
sas reception, bigger man than
Fnnston-bigger even than General
Hughes-making more noise and tax
ing up more room than the entire
procession, elbowing every body out
of the way, and drowning the voices
Of the orators and the music of the
bands with his idotic Rock Chalk,
Jay Hawk; Rah. Rah, Washburn,
Rah. Baker, Hurrahn or whatever the
internal Siwash gibberish is. l have
seen somewhat of this world, and
have correctly sized up good many
! people in it, and | give it as my
mature and solemn Judgment, based
upon careful and unprejudiced COM
parlson OF the many classes of people
who cultivate the habit of making a
holy show of themselves, that, with
the exception to be hereafter noticed
the average college student is the
most obtuse and elephantine ass
that fronts the grieved and frowning
face of heaven. | was college stu
dent once myself.
Nov | am not objecting to what
this creature learns at school. 1t is
what he doesn't learn that l am talk
infr ohont Ia ic 1no 1nncp,t
design himself to do any OF the usual
works of mankind. Nobody ever
heard of a college student who was
fitting himself for anything but one
OF the learned professions, SO called
that is one Of the professions OF
learning how to live off the balance of
mankind. He's going to be a lawyer,
a preacher, a doctor, an editor. a
statesman, and no doubling thought
ever ruffles his serenely egotistic soul
that when once he vaults into the
arena of affairs the things of this
world will be speedily set to rights.
But when he finally does land out
the much abused, long suffering world
gets it's revenge. The world just
trips him up and rolls its big self
over him and mashes the wind out OF
him and then picks him up and
then chucks him into little by 10
office, with cobwebs on the ceiling
and fly specks on the windows and
two broken-leg chairs on the floor and
a dozen secondhand books in wob-
bly, old case with the glass broken
out, and refusing to pay his board
bill any longer, goes off and leaves
him to learn wisdom from the ant.
Nor have | any spite at the col
lege student. | only think he takes
too much room and makes too much
noise and costs too much money and
| is too smart in the budding days OF
his career. If he could only be in
| duced to subside somewhat, to prac-
tice little the modest habit of self
effacement, 60 out and soak his head,
turn All X-ray upon his inwards and
see himself as others see him, we
could possibly endure him, instead OF
filling up with wicked wishes for his
assassination. But he won't"