Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-06-03
NOT 50 FUNNY.
A Smart Youth Attempts to Fool With
Man from Country.
The Tables So Neatly Turned That smar,v u,.
Lett oil Feeling.

Decoration DAY, with it's memorial
service, marching troops, bands of
music always brings Il crowd into the
city In spite OF the inclemency of tho
weather Thursday was no exception 10
the rule, although the leaden skies ken,
many at home. The country neon,e
from the rural districts were very
much in evidence. MANY come who
make a gala day and bring the wbo,.
family. in fact all old Dobbin vii, h. =,
All bent on sightseeing and havirr .
| day off from the wear and grind of tho
old farm.
The honest old farmer with his anti
quated tile relic of bygone DAVIS his
Sunday coat smelling strongly of moth
balls where IT has been packed away
since last gaia day, 4 blue cotton UNI
brella the size of a circus tent and
madam with her bridal bonnet that
was prize winner about the time that
washington crossed the Delaware and
the children with clean homespun
trocks and sunday hats which looked
IKE conservatorics, all happy and con-
tented and enjoying the days outing.
and when the day is over they drive
back home full of new IDEAS and pea
nuts. with food for thought for the
next month.
one disciple of David Harum whose
long. unkempt locks. County Antrum
whiskers that resembled the fringe Of
tidy and whose general make-un
gave him "A Reuben Glue appearanCc
End gave the boys the idea he was :,
soft mark from Jayville was in with
the crowd waiting to see the balloon
go up or hear the band play. He had
done the town pretty thoroughly. had
chased the band till he was footsorc
and at last had arrived at the park
where ne was enjoying himself 10 his
hearts content watching the people.
HIS appearance gave one the impress
sion that he was Il rich find for bum
co stccre" or Il gold brick merchant
out appearances are somewhat deceit
ful, and ii was so in this case for un-
derncath that fresh. guileless exterior
there was 2 streak Of genuine mother
wit. 4 David ITarum acutcness that
made him dangerous for the city chap
to try 70 fool with. He believed in Old
DaVid'S motto: DO unto others rs vo,,
would have The other Teller do unto
vou. only do it fuSt''
When the gildcd youth with his high
billboard collar, dainty cigarette ana
King Eddie hat undertook to have n
little quiet sport with the farmer he
made the mistake of his life. The gid
cd youth in question was doing escor;
duty for two of Augustus fair daugh-
ters and when he saw our rural friend
with the nanny whiskers he said TO
himself: That is my prize. | Will pro-
coed I" play ball with him and give my
lady friends Il little rare sport at the
rural Centleman's expense" So he ap-
nroached him and said:
'Eello, uncle. down to see the show"
our rural friend answered: Yes: got
my pIantin' along 50 | could leave:
thought | would drive down. Rather
wet day. yeu?"
The giIdcd youth and his fair COM
panions smiled and tool. it all in, and
smarty said "A great day for the
race. uncle
What race, said the farmer
Why" said the youth. putting on
an idiotic grin. the human race
The old farmer frightened up. gave
one long, searching look at the fresh
specimen and said with a peculiar
drawl: Il don't see how that can in
tcrest you any. sonny: YOU don't look
to me as if you belonged to it,"
The bystanders laughed but not at
the farmer. while the gilded youth, who
thought the mantle of the late la
mcnted Bill Nye had fallen upon his
shoulders. was convinced that the buzz
saw. like Il Cross-eyed mule. was Il
homoly thing to look at. but rather
dangerous to monkey with.
The next time he feels one of these
funny Spasms coming on he will so out
in the dark woods and seek some quiet
spot beside the babblinE brook where
he can be all alone with nature until
the funny spasm works off.