West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-04-11
ZEB WHITES
=. OLD MULE
That Took Part in q Little Door
Yard Tracas, and Saved zeb's
Reputation.
The STORY as Told by Zeb Himself TO
the Scribe, Who Sat With Him
Before the Cabin Fire
One Evening.


soon after the wah, said the old pos
sum hunter of Tennessee as We sat before
his cabin fire. some fellcrs come along
we're with drove Of nevis. and one OF the
critters fell sick. and they gin him to me-
He was about the meauest lookn' mewl
ever did see. but | kinder hoped he'd
make up fur Il ben' good lie didn't
however Doggone his hide but when he
got well he was mcaner'n skunks. He'd
bite at anybody who come within 10 feet OF
him aud IL hitchcd him to- the cart he
wouldn't pull pound. was keepiu' him
around In the hopes TO trade him on when
along comes stranger one day from
| ArkanSaw The old woman was gone to-
naybur's and was sitlln' on the door step
when this stranger halted and said
Kin everlastin'ly aud c,ernally
aatter myself that am addressing the
celebrated and notorious Deb White p
that's me- said l.
-' The orittcr who has killed 5000 pos
sums 5000 woodchucks, T. 200 coons aud
50 'ars 2
'Ihem's about the Gggers, stranger
! The man who crowded a circus Gle.
phant into the ditch, flung bull over the
fence, asd licked three wildcats barchand
ed 2
That's mostly me.
THE man who has outrun. outjumped
outwrassIcd aud outfit every critter in
Tennessee who would tackle him 2
| Kinder that"
| 'Waal now goes on the man as we
shakes hands yo' seem TO be some pump.
kins' and hope 20 are fur I've walked
over from Arkansaw TO give go trial. I'm
gon to do my best, Zeb White. to lick go
outen yo'r butes
What fur p said
Jest to take yo down a peg aud let
go know that thar Is two or three other
folks on airth. Yes. I'm either gwinc to
make 20 holler or else live on roots all the
rest Of my days.
II didn't want no quarrel with anybody"
said Zeb, but soon diskivcrcd that the
crittor from Arkansaw was bound to hcv
a fuss He Dragged and crowed and had so
much TO say thar had no other way but TO
tackle him We peeled off coats and
Jackets out thar on that level spot. and
noticed the old mule standin with his
headquarters out of that shed doah
b" "I'il tell yo' what I'm gwine to do. said
the stranger as we made ready I'm goin'
TO bite OF yo'r right ear and carry IL back
TO Arkansaw with me as a sort OF certif
cate and hope yo'll write the date on IL
with pen and ink before leave
Then he crowcd and napped his arms
and jumped up and knocked his heels to.
gether. hadn't got skcart OF him how.
ever. reckoncd IL might be a tough fout,
bur was bound to win IT, What made il
] ,aft.rr f,,r
had had jaw that day, and / was fcclin'
onery and mean and anxious 10 whop some.
body. Waal. we finally got TO work and
] soon found that crttcr all ! could man.
age. lie was pcart IN his feelns and
hard hitter. and as he danced around he
said
"'Yo might as we'll begin TO holler right
now. Zeb White. fur I've got ye licked.
reckoned a heap OF this talk about go was
all wind
Jest about that tirae l fetched him
swat that kceled him head over heels and
broke my thumb. lie got up as peart as
80 please. and seein my thumb was
broke and my right hand useless. he put on
mo steam. IL did seem TO me that fur
the fust time in my life was gwine to be
licked. and had a fcelin OF goneness clear
down to my butes. Broken bones don't
count IN fout down in this kentry. 20
know. The man who comes out on top
gifts the credit and the other fcilcr hasn't
word to say. Yes. sab. jest dun reckon
was hcvin' powerful clus shave Of il
when Providence interfcred. was bcln'
banged all around when happened TO see
my OLD mcwl backin up on us from the
shed He'd heard that row and wanted a
hand in. Totbcr fcllcrs back was 'tard
the mewl and ! played to keep IL thar
lie never had no warnin OF what was
comm. The fust thing he knew the mewl
backed UP to within kickin' distance and
then let 90 both feet and old Arkansaw
went rollin' down TO that bresh fence Ills
breath was gone when he stopped. and I
was also sittin' on his stomach In three
or four minits be opened his eyes and
looked around and said
Are back in Artansaw ag'in2
Not skassly. said T.
Was hevin q fout with crtter
named Zcb whtc3
.Yo was
90 And did whop him and make him
holler
40 didn't Yo kin look upon yosclf
as licked man
And didn't eit his right car to take
bac@ % Arkansaw with me
Mary q carr
with that hc began to cry. and let
him up. He went oyer ind sot down on
that stump and cried like a boy and after
he bad wcpt away his tears be said to me
"Iob acknowledges to bcin' licked
man. but I'd like the consoiashun Of know.
in how twas done
10 war Far foui.
y reckon &c was bot vas eittin the
best Of it when so fastened a couple Of
boss shoes 20 yo'r hands and reached over
my shoulders and hit me ln the back and
sent me tumbln Was that what licked
me =
Reckon 20 was
And was nt allowable under fouun'
rules
Allus has bin
Then hain't got nothin more to ssy
and hc "1 cum I saw. aud got licked.
and I'm goin back 90 Arkansaw TO- tcH en-
that so are the rooster Of che flock shake
hands Icb White. and bid me good by.
And De sh0Gldcrcd bis bundle and
went on whistiin and to ths day hc don
know why that fout went agin shin. !
heard that hc went back to Arkausaw and
tried tohght with bis boss shoes tied TO his
hands. but tbe other crittcr cycncd up by
shootn' 70 bullets into him.
I Ur g ~ fr.rl,... t.. ~ 49,