The St. Johns herald., 1901-04-13


 tween us. It was little over that, be- cause that represented the exac' amount of our investment. It come about this way: We was a settin' in the bridal chamber Of the best hotel in the place eatin' our dinner. which was roast turkey. I disremember the name of the hotel, an don't see that it cuts any grass with you men, any way l said we was eatin' roast tur- key an there ain't nobody can tempt me to eat roast turkey now, I want to tell you. l killed a man with q neck yoke in Pierre last year fer just offer in me some. But then it was whole lot different an that turk tasted good. We didn't leave nCthin' of it but the bones. an when we had get to that pint Joe stretched back an'. lettin' out all the slack there was in his belt. which wasn't too much, he says: Why can't we get turkey like that on the Pacific coast ?
 "ThSt gi' ne the idee When a man has iGees it don't take stick of giant to blast them out in chunks that kin be handled. I run my fork keerlessly through my ha'r, which wuz longer than what il is now, an says: Why not buy turkeys here, drive them out to the coast an. recooperate our shat &aSod finances?'
 "Joe fell in with my scheme an that evenin' we went out to the market an investigated. We was in luck, for the market was glutted with turkeys an they. was goin' beggin' at 75 cents a head. l fingered tha, they would sell on the coast for a dollar a pound easy an that they would average 14 pounds in weight, talzin' them all through. So we jest put that whole S1O,6CO in the birds an started out.
 'They was easy enorgh to drive; there ain't a-more tractabIe. or docile bird on two legs than the turkey is. If it had been hens, now. I wouldn't never have undertook it, but turkeys. is all right. I jest put a bell on the biggest one in the outfit an started him right, an-the rest went goblin along after him. It wuz as pretty sight to see them turkeys on the road as ever you seen in your life. Twelve thousand five hundred of them, an not a straggler in the bunch!
 "Fedd? We'll. what do you think? Wasn't there bugs on the road? reckon there was. It was a grasshop- per year, I want to tell you, and the way those turkeys fatted up was a sin. to snakes. Fourteen pounds! Why, there wasn't one of them turks that wouldn't have tipped the scale at 25 in week, an the bel! turk an the one that l strapped the blankets an the coo<in' outfit onto-I wouldn't want to tell you what they did weigh.
 No trouble about night herdin'. As soon as it was suEdown they would commenst lookin' around fer a place to roost, an then they would hy up into the trees, an we cou'd rest easy until the next Rornin' We teok the old overland trail along the Platte out to Fort Laramie, an not hitch in the | We cculd see how the folks in California was Soin' to flock round us with their dust when we got there. We could see curse yes in car riages, with plug hats an spike tail coats an blooded. stock. HtE! Do you know what that womb have brought us? It's easy. Puttin'sit at the moderate est7mote of a @ lar a pound, an al;ow:n' the average of 25 pounds to ,the bird. there we were with clean prof of S2l T5 on every one of them, or RlIowin' for possible losses by death CT misadventure, say s300,CGO on the outfit. It was gol iurned. shame tkRt we had to slip up On the deal"
 The old man began to smoke his pipe in stolid silence, and the stock tender winbed at the stage agent. The silence continued for half an hour, and was then broken by the stock tender remarking that it was about time for him to feed them horses.
 "Yes," resumed the old man, placid y. "We slipped up on it, an it was this way: You see, we had had lots of cottonwood trees all along the Platte, but when we started to cross the plains to Green river we noticed that the turkeys got bothered at roasting time. They kep' twistin' their necks around loo kin fer some. place to roost all night long an the next day some of them had necks like a pretzeI. When they tried to feed am took a shot at a bug or grasshop- per they would miss him from six inches to a foot on one side or the other Joe allowed that they would learn to calculate the variation after awhile, but they got poorer an poor er, so all there was to it we had to take them back to the Platte 10 get he crick strengthened out. wh ch they lid in few days. But when we took I them to the plains agar n we had the same old trouble. an, to make long story short, we Iep' drivin' them back an forth an back an fo tn until .here wasn't any more to drive"
 "What got away with them?" asked he stage agent.
 "We ct 'em, you derned fool" re- piled the old man.-Chicago Daily Record.
 WOULD BECOME A SLAVE.