davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
Northumberland.

You, Nebuchadnezzah, whoa, sab!
Whar is you tryin' to 60, sab?
I'd hab you for to know. sab
Is a holdin' oh de lines
You better stop dat prancin';
You's pow'ful fond of dancin',
But I'll bet my yeah's advancin'
Dat I'll cure you OBJ your shines.
Look heah, mule Better min out
Fust ting you know you'll fin out
How quick III wear dis line out
On your ugly, stubborn back.
You needn't try to steal up.
An lif dat precious heel up;
You's got to pillow dis fel' up,
You has, sab, for fac.
Oar, dat's de way to do it
He's comm right down to it;
Jes' watch him plowin' t'roo it!
Dis niger amt no fool.
Some folks dey would "a beat him;
Now, dat would only heat him
l know jes' how to treat him,
You mus reason wild a mule.
He minds me like niger,
If he was only bigger
He'd fotch mighty 6gger,
He would, l tell you'll Yes sab
See how he keeps a clickin'!
He's as gentle as a chicken,
An nebber thinks O. kickin'-
Who, dar! NebuchadnezzAh
Is dis heah me, or not me?
Or is de debbil got mel
Was dat cannon shot me?
Hab | laid heah morn q week?
Dat mule do kick amazin!
De beast was spilled in raisin'
But now 'spect he's grain
On de oder side de creek.
Irwin Russell--St. Louis Republic
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21

Lady Caroline Paulet wore an anklet
and would often sit upon a table and let
1t fall down over her foot to show it. 1t
was inscribed LA Legerete de Camille ct
la Vitesse d'Ataante." One day Lady
Isabella st. John, who was equally proud
Of her little foot, said, 81 wish you
would let me try il can get your anklet
over my foot, Lady Caroline" And she
put 1t on and to Lady Carolne's great
discontinue kicked it off to show how
easily her foot would go through it,
Augustus j. g. Hare's STORY of My
I ife -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21

When he reached home, he opened the
package he was carrying and displayed a
number of placards, some Of which read
''For Show" and the others "For Use"
"There" he exclaimed triumphantly,
T fatter myself ! have solved the prob
lem"
SOLVED the problemw she repeated.
"What problem? What in the world do
you intend TO do with those cards?"
81 am going to give them to you" he
replied, 80 that you can put them on
the VARIOUS sofa pillows scattered about
the hod "-Chicago Post.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
Friends No More,
Ta he n friend of yours 2"

us he a friend OF yoursT
"No, sir. told my wife ! had been
with him the other night when She wait.
ed up for me. The next day she happen
ed to meet him end Ct course referred
to what ! had said The blurmd fool
didn't have presence Of mind enough to
20 on and pretend that hr NucW wtar She
was talking about. "-Chlcago Times Her.
aid
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
THB PEOPLES NATIONAL FAMILY NEWSPAPER.
Published on Thurs

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day, and known for
nearly sixty years in
every part of the Uni.
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Of THE DAILY TRI-
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entertaining rea d i n G
for every member of the
family, old and young,
Market Reports which
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ity by farmers and coun
try merchants, and is
clean, up to date, inter.
estlng and instructive
Regular subscription
price 81 90 per year.
We furnish it with
The CLARION for 1926
per year.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
Letters No Attraction.

Mrs. Hocorn-But, Mandy, don't see
why you don't want to marry Sias Bean
blossom. He's prosperous enough. He's
Just put a new al" on his house
Mandy don't keer, nav He kin put
the whole alphabet on his house If he
wants to, but this here literary life never
did appeal to me.-Baltimore American,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
In Days OF Old.

Obediah:->And what sentence did our
worthy magistrate pass upon that ter
rible scold, Dame Wagginton?
IIezekiah:-'He ordered her 10 be i'm
mersed ten times in the ducklng
pond
Obediah: -'Good saints | didn't think
he'd soak her that hard
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
Both Together YeaIfoIOn!y$ l,55

IN this wav YOU secure your own home paper and an illustrated
MAGAZINE at price that only about fourth of what some o. the
Illustrated sell for. For three years The CoSmopo M
undsptedy Claimed that reached the largest clientele possessed l.?
any Periodical daily weekly monthly in the world was me
COSMOPOLITAN which Julian Hawthorne to India to let me Nol
now The real horrors of famine and plague was ne CoSo
tan which established at its cost great Free IolfSSoMts
University which has 10000 students Oil It's loS WAS
less carriage a ICES for best plans public baths ana eSt arrange
ent # PIPE systems st for cities 56 vas Sy @I I 0
dscussi,g the acs of existing educational systems. i We
Cosopolan WHOSE enterprise always nthe lead N 2va te
worlds civilization.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
Send all orders to s:The Clarion, ThurmOnt, Md.

We have also succeeded in arranging for two additional offers in
connection with this journal and The Cosmopolitan
After rCngOn yOrbook table the best OF the atenagaznes
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Farmers and mechanics, husbands and wives, students and profess
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Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21

nHE delights of evening spent around weghed read
ing table are half understood An illustrated magazine
with its wealth of illustrations its stories of adventure ana
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enabled us offer you years subscription the greatest OF the mus
taed magazines together with years subscription to this Journal
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
ALWAYS Coming.

Sings Georgia philosopher:
This old world, with all it's sorrow,
Rolls toward Il bright to- morrow,
Butts reason an it's rhyme
It's to- morrow all the time
Atlanta Constitution.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21

There are over 200 distinct muscles in
the human body, of which the best OF US
keep about 100 in prime condition by
proper use.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21

e%- FOR SALE A practically new
three burner, latest improved Gasoline Stove
-Oyen attached. Reason for selling, have
10 need OF it, A bargain. Inquire at
Nv 29tf THE CLARION OFFICE.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
All Three Together for Only S ZOO

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over eight Thousand columns of reading matter year. In former
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by ITSELF Now have tiff YOU wiS i'll connection with your
home paper and The Cosmopolitan Magazine
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21
Great Southern Pig. E. Mfg. Co,
FREDERICK, MD.

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inly22tf CASSELL e WATERS
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1901-03-21

Published M ond ayI
Wednesday and friday
is in reality a fine, fresh, JIM
every.other day Daily,N\
giving the latest news ~
ON day of issue. and
covering news of thcI
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and comprehensive and
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market reports.
Regular subscription
price, 81 80 per year. I'M
We furnish it with
THE CLARION for 5000
per year. |
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
A Bad Way To Do.

"Order in court" called out the high sheriff of the Police Court yesterday as Judge Feagin took his seat and the clerk scraped the dust of his pen and scratched his head preparatory to scratching the docket
 'Ts the tout ensemble assembled?" asked the judge.
 "They are all together said the sheriff
 "Then proceed with the grand entry, '' said the judge. Afterwards we will have the so-called roll call"
 The prisoners were then marched in two by two.
 That procession reminds me of the circus song, judge" said lawyer. " The animals came in two by two, the elephant and the kangaroo don't see any ele- phants, though there are some that re semble kangaroos."
 "The elephants are on my hands" said the judge You don't see them, but they are there" '
 Judge" said an officer, one of the witnesses, a conductor on the Kansas City wants to go away $
 "So do IT, said the judge Ask him to wait awhile and may be I'll go with him. I'm the only thing about the court that don't go, as a rule.''
 "If that's a rule of court" said the clerk. your honor might change 1t"
 "I can't change it, said the judge That's why I can't get change myself Even small change would be relief" 2
 'I think we will have some large change
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

tols," said the judge. with the mounted police would call this riding habit. l have also heard of policemen afoot talk ing peanuts. This is a walking habit though s"-., never heard they had a habit of y the bills.
 Jed, Theodore. Lizzie gimme de pist i. me ter go and stop de car.'
 Did you intend to hold up the motor man?' asked the judge.
 No sah. I war ter hold off Will, who war arter Lizzie wid CT karvin' knife
 "Did you snap the pistol at him?'
 .No sah. We all run an hollered help! help."
 "You all look like the run of the mine judging by your color" said the 1udge' Why did the help holler for help?'
 we couldn't help it, jedge, we war scared"
 You do look something like scare crows" said the judge. Did Will crow over you when he saw you were scared
 No sah. Dat mans CT buzzard, 1edge' He war gwine ter eat us up.'
 .I think that would be a case Of eat ing crow" said the judge. What do you say Henry"
 .'Ise gwine ter tell yo' de truf, 1edge' said Henry. II rolled 1000 brick yestiddy. I bin cookin, an washn' and patchin My wife won't do muffin an l smacked her. Dere ain't white man in town would hab stood it. jedge."
 "They were all fighting and cursing' judge" said an officer.
 ledge" said Lizzie, ''I war takin' 1t fair an easy las night an didn't cuss at all. I knows all erbout de fight but it would take most CT week ter tell it..
 "Come down then" said the judge and let Laura take a stand"
 Did Bill have a gun, Laura?" asked the judge.
 "Yes sah."
 Was it one of these 4fs?' ob desc little twentytwos. He hit me wid de gun, jedge, an knocked me silly, den he dropped ite.' He hit me wid de gun, jedge, an knock ed me silly den he dropped it.'
 That was a knockout drop" said the judge. ''I have heard enough of this case and too much of 1t would give one indi-
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
New Road in. Mexico.

Kansas City. Mo, April s.-President A. F stiilwel of the projected Kansas City Mexican and Orient Railroad today con firmed dispatch from Chihuahua, Mex, stating that a contract had been let for the construction of the road between that city and San Angelo. Tex, a distance of probably 300 miles. The road will cross the Rio Grande at Presidio del Norte, where a bridge connecting the two countries will have to be built. MT. Stlllwell said:
 "The railway will be finished and in operation between Kansas City and its terminus on the Pacific ocean a year from next June"
 The distance of 200 miles between Kan sas City and Wichita, Kan, will be built this summer, he says, the contract hay ing been taken by Chicago firm.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

today" said the clerk. casting an expc- They look like they are good for some thing
 "A good for nothing crowd ought to be good for something" said the judge.
 "I think they are good for hundred at least" said the sheriff. 'I would be willing to underwrite them for that amount" | Do you understand what you are do- ing when you undertake to underwrte them?" asked the judge, you might un- derestimate them.
 If your honor prefers. will stand from under and let you write them up, said the sheriff.
 "I think that would be better" said the judge, you call them down and I'll write them up Call the pleas of guilty, if you please" tf
 John Williams thereupon came forward l and announced a willingness to plead guilty to assault and battery on Mary Goodby.
 What did you hit her with?" inquired the judge.
 Jest CT little piece ob gravel. jedge," said the defendant
 "In the shape of a rock?" asked the judge.
 Hit war CT brick, jedge," said Mary, who came forward at this juncture with her head bound up In several yards of cloth.
 'I'll put s15 on you.' said the judge to John. You ought not to do that way. Some other way would be better for both you and Mary. Who else wants to plead guilty?'
 Muddy Hutchinson then came forward and said he was excused of disorderly
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

won; Catherne Bravo. 117 Ruise), to 1. second; Master Cal, 11s crurner), to 1. third. Time, 1:15%.
 Second race, 2-year-old-maidens, one- half mile-Divina, 107 (dafiey). IS to l, won; Minerva, no (Torpe), to 1, second; Loulette, no (Conley), to 1. third. Time. 48A. a
 Third race, one and one-quarter miles. sellin -Twinkler, 115 (Wedderstrand), ~s to 1, won; Rio Shannon, III Dominick), to 5, second; Faunette. no (Alexander), 15 to 1, third Time, 2:o4
 Fourth race, seven furlongs-Princess Titania, TOT (O'Connor), to 10, won; Satin Coat, Ill (Dominick), to 1, second; David S., 109 (Wedderstrand), D. to l, third. Time, 1:Sh.
 Fifth race one mile, purse-MacGyle, 1ol (Dominick) to 1, won; Hagedon, l0s (Mounce), ? to 1, second; Dangerous Maid 1O4 (OConnor), to 5. third. Time. 1:401t
 Sixth race three quarters of q mile. selling-Maggie Davis, 1o5 (Rausch), 4 to 1, won; Doublet, TOT (Mounce), 15 to l, second; Mocorito. 1o7 tsee). 10 to l, third. Time, 1:1SA.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
ON THE RACE TRACK
At Memphis,

Memphis, April 9.-Beautiful weather and six well-filled races attracted large crowd to Montgomery Park this after noon. The feature of the days sport was the performance of Petit Maitre, in the third race, at a mile and seventy yards. The old gelding clipped a second off the local track record, winning In 1:47 flat from Kenova. Pirates Queen, well-ridden by Cochran, won the first race at seven furlongs easily from Colonel Crap, Rhine lander the favorite, finishing third.
 The Boston, who was first choice in the ring, won the second event, sprint of four and a half furlongs. The fourth race, the Country Club handicap. was won by Louisville, who beat Alard scheck over the full course and justified the confi- dence of his packers by romping home a dozen lengths before Basic. The last race, a selling affair at seven furlongs, was won in gallop by Wax Taper, equal choice with Myth.
 First race, seven furlongs. selling-Pi- rates Queen, S6 (Cochran). to l, won; Colonel Gay, 10s (Robertson), 16 to 1 and 5 to l, second; Rhinelander, 105 (O'Brien), to B. third. Time 1:29A.
 Second race. nine and one-half fur longs. purse-The Boston, 100 Grwin), s to 5, won; Billy Green 100 (Coburn) 6 to 2 and to l, second; inthrop. Ill (Wink- f1eld). 10 to 1, third. Time :47lt.
 Third race, mile and, seventy yards, selling-Petit Maitre, Ill Robertson), 6 to 1, won; Kenova, 90 (Ransom), to l and even, second; Hoods Brigade, 1O5 (Cochran), 4 to 1, third. Time 1:H.
 Fourth race. mile Country Club handi- cap-Louisville 9s (O'Bren). 4 to 1, won; Alard Scheck. 108 0. Woods). to l and 3 to 5, second Cavier, 106 (Coburn), to 1, third. Time 1:42.
 Fifth race, about two miles, selling, eeplechase-Sallust. 1sS (Ellison), 8 to 5. won; Baslee. 134 tWilson), to and to 2. second: Tricotin. 14S (Meagher), 6 to l. third. Time IA.
 Sixth race. seven furlongs-Wax Taper IA c. Woods), 8 to 5, won; Sue Johnson,
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
At 1ennlncs.

Washington, April 9-The maiden hurdle race over six obstructions was the most interesting event at Bennington today. Ten horses competed and all finished 'x- cept Berto, who fell. charawind, the fla vorite, took first money by a neck, Rox- bury second. twenty lengths ahead of Conover third. Robert Waddell. the fa- vorite at prohibitive, odds, won the first race by two lengths. Atheola won the second race from The Rogue, who ran third in field of three starters. Toluca, the favorite. finished in the rucks in the fifth, Revonah, at ' to 2, taking first money, while the outsider, Alard, won the last race from a field of thirteen starters, with Robert Metcalf. at 40 to l, second and Kirkwood third. Summary:
 First Race-Six furlongs: Robert Wad- dell 115 (Seaton), 10 to 5, won; Magic Light 118( Miies), 12 to and to 5, sec ond; Nitrate 101 q. Slack), to l. third. Time: 1:17.
 Second Race = One-haif mile: Atheola III Gandry) to g. won; Laraceor 107 (Wonderly), 5 to and to 5, second; Sister Juliet 1O7 (R. Burns), to 5, third. Time: 0:5O 3-5.
 Third Race-Mile and one-half; hurdle: Charawind Al (Monahan3, 6 to 5, won Roxbury Al (Frye), ' to and to ?. sec ond; Conover 151 CPenn), 10 to l. third. Time: 255.
 Fourth Race . Seven furlongs: The Rogue 95( J. Slack). Il to 20, won: King 8 Favorite & CWilkerson), to i and to s, second; Cursory 90 co. Thompson), 8 to 1. third. Time: 1:33
 Fifth Race-Fiye furlongs: Revonah !05 Oandry). to 2, won; Gertrude Elliott s6 (Wilkerson), [ to and even, second; Mid- night Chimes 10S( Dale). to l, third. Time: 1:03 2-5.
 Sixth Race-Mile and fifty yards; sell ing: Alard 80 (Seaton). to 1, won; Rob ert Metcalf 101 .Miller), 70 to 1 and 10 to 1, second; Kirkwood 110 Qandry), 3 to 1, third. Time: AS 2-5.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

tie dokes," said the judge. Would you have one believe they snapped at each other like snapping turtles?'
 .Dey war certainly snappin', and it warn't no soft snap. neider." said the witness "Dey war all in de fracas
 Where is the pistol?' asked the judge.
 "I taken 1t from Theodo an de perlice tooken 1t from me. Dey takes eberyfing in sight. judge" said the witness.
 ''They do have habit of taking pis-
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

gestion. I will fine you each $5, although being a quartette you might think should fine you a quarter. The officer found you out and I fine you in. The jail entrance Is just to your right. Step lively, please"
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

As the hot weather of summer is ap- preaching, this paper will constantly keep before it's readers Teethina, a remedy which, where known, is being universally used to prevent and counteract the effects of warm weather upon small children, and 1t Is hoped that all mothers of this community will keep their children in a healthy condition by giving 1t. for 1t costs only 25 cents at dTuggists. of mali 1 cents to c. J. Moffett. M. D., St. Louis, Mo,
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

Hear the Ascetceam Trio and Johnson Swiss Bell Con- cert Co.,, at Seals Hall, Thursday evening and Thurs. day matinee. Tickets soc 1; children 25c.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
Mrs. 'wlnsIow's Soothing Syrup.

the best remedy for DIARRHoEA. Sold by druggists In every part of the world Be sure and ask for .'Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup" and take no other kind. Has been used for over FIFTY YEARS by MILLIONS of MOTHERS for thslr CHILDREN WHILE TEETaING, with PERFECT SUCCESS It SOOTfI6 the CHILD, SOFTENE the GUMS, ALLAYs al. P.1IN, CURES WIND coLIC. and .s Twenty-Five cents q bottle.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
Read This.

Dothen, Ala. April a. 1899 Mir. J. R. Young. Dothen, Ala-Dear Sir. This is to certify that receiveo great relief from the bottle Of Hairs Great Discovery which I bought of you In fact. I do not think there is any thing to equal 1t. I was troubled for about two months with lame back and after taking one-half bottle I consider myself cured.
 Yours truly, J. J. WILLIS.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
ATExAs woNpEs@
HaII,a craat plscever.

One small bottle of Halls Great Dis eovsry cures all kidney and bladder troubles, removes gravel. cures diabetes seminal emissions. weak and lame packs rheumatism and all irregularities or tne kidneys and bladder in both men ana women, regulates bladder trouples ln children. One small bottle in two months treatment. and will cure any case above mentioned Price g0o. Dr. D. W Hall sole manufacturer. P. O. Box s2s' St; Louis. Mo Send for testimonials soie by all C---lggists.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
At TaIforan.

San Francisco. April 9.-Weather clear, track fast at Tanforan. Results:
 First race, three-quarters of mile, selling-Approdls. 117 (Mounce), 6 to 1.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10
Prominent Marriaae.

Fernandina, Fla, April s.-The marriage of Miss Florence Nightingale Carnegie of Dungeness to Frederick Curtis Per kins of Pittsburg, Pa. was solemnized this afternoon at the home of the brides mother. Mrs. T. M Carnegie. The Right Rev Bishop Nelson of Georgia, assisted by Rev 8. A. Wragg of this city off ciated The bridal party left this even on special train.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

Three doses of Hoods Sarsaparllla daily after meals for awhile will build you up.
The age-herald., 1901-04-10

103 (O'Brien), 6 to and 2 to 1, second i; Duke of Baden, 106 c. Miller), 16 to 1, third. Time 1:2S.