The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-03-13
n Regimental Comedy of Errors

IT was all Toms confounded shyness.
Tom and | arc twins, and as physically
alike as two men can be. Mentally, we
differ widely Tom, as / have limited
Is painfully shy-shy, indeed, to the
verge of morbidness. ! am on the whole,
best described as ''pushful"
After We had spent some eventful years
In the ls9th. we went campaigning in
Burma. Tom so far overcame his shy
ness as TO slay three dacoits singlehand-
ed, without even being introduced to
them. and incidentally rescued Sergt
O Finnigan from certain death. Indeed.
as O'Hinnisan said: 'ln another moment
oi shud ha' been left lamentin my own
corpse, but for the captn, Lord presarve
'um." This earned Tom the V. c., and
the papers made much of him.
Not that Tom encouraged interyiewers.
lie winged the representative OF the Man
dalay Free Press, and chased the Ran
goon Times man into a reservoir. Even
We his brother officers. congratulated
him cautiously armed with polo sticks.
Burma Is not the healthiest of climes.
and when the dacoits had ceased dacoit-
ing, Tom and i went home on leave with
considerable less hair and perhaps a lit
tie more sense than when we first went
out, two very callow subalterns. L am
u, N,
We were accomplished men of the would.
We were breakfasting in the dear. dirty
gloom OF London hotel, when Tom
groaned aloud and gazed blankly at a
letter he had just opened. What's up?"
] asked. taking "a gulp at what we English
men facetiously term coffee.
Read that" he replied In his usual
laconic way.
That" was request from the Mayor
mi of fchs
Capt. Thomas Cason, V. c.. would be
pleased to visit them in order 10 receive
the freedom OF the city A luncheon and
a ball appeared to form part OF the
program also. Tom and I were born az
Westchester. but as we left there for
good at the mature age OF 2, the invita-
ton was as unexpected as II was fat
tering.
Well" said, chats all right-spoils
OF war--lucky man, you know"
"Shut up." replied Tom, what am I
10 saw"
"Say?" I echoed. "why. say you're
highly honored, much pleasure, etc, of
course"
But I'm not going" said Tom. Pitch
me a good lie 10 tell them, Jack
This reliance on my imaginative pow
ere was not altogether complimentary,
and ] said so. further adjuring Tom. with
fraternal candor. not 20 be a silly ass.
But I cant GO" he said. helplessly:
"therc'd be brass bands and speeches.
and women--no. I'm blessed II I'm going"
And I'm blessed II you shan't." ] re-
turned firmly: the credit OF the rcgi-
ment and the family demands it and 40
you SHALL
I may interpolate that the family credit
was rather fictitious, az We were orphans.
and had neither kith nor kin. / msrched
him off TO the smoking room, and reas-
oned with the authority OF an elder broth
or--I was a minute or two ahead of Tom
in intering this queer old world. As he re-
NAMED obduratc. clinched the matter
BY writing an acceptance OF tho Mayoral
Invitation.
| had To watch Tom pretty closely for
the next few days lest hc should write
or wire retraction, but at last I got
him safely into the Westchcster train.
We were In mufti. for Tom had iibed at
uniform. and had not considered Il
advisable 10 press him too hard. u was
an uncomfortable journey. Tom was as
cross a. the proverhial bear. refused alb
solutely 10 learn the neat little speech
I had prepared for him, and sat glow
ering IN corner cursing me at inter
vaIs n 1 hadn't been pretty sharp
verify believe ne would have slipped re
az Rushdcn. the only stop befure West
chester. ~ u wna. the tail of his coat
snd ny new Lincoln and Bennett suf-
fricd badly.
soon We we're slowing into westches-
ter There vero Gags hanging out % win
dows and small children sitting on fences,
yelling shriliy ss Ne passed.
a. We ran aiong Jhr platform I got ND
10 take my umbrella from the rack
When turned round sgain I nearly
dropped Tom was on the on" foot.
board away from the platform.
Jack" he cried. Il can't do it-you
must
Must WHAT I xasped wonSerins II
nv brother had gone mad
Pace thcin--go through with it they
Won't know you from me m YOU don't
| swear N bolt The boving station