davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

My bald old pate you'll see no more,
wear fetching cap,
A monocle adorns my eye
Oh. I'm gay old chap!
My hour glass is all I've kept
OF my old-fashioned frills
/ kept it just to time me when
60 the pace that kills.
Now, that I'm all dyked out SO fine
Aw-demme, don cherknow!
I'm sorry that through ages past
I've been so very slow.
| might have passed through cons as
A dudelet most sublime
For it is such an easy thing
To get good clothes on time.
Geo. v. Hobart
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
Uncle Observation-Disclosures.

Washington, Jan. 3.-The monthly
statement of the public debt shows that
at the close of business Dec. 81, 1900,
the national debt, less cash in the
treasury, amounted to 81 ,099, 191 $40, a
decrease for the month of s1,9S3,5o5.
The cash in the treasury is 1,131, 271,-
Esq, against which there are demand
liabilities outstanding amounting to
SS41 ,164 .215. leaving a cash balance on
hand of 1920, l07 1886
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
General Wood Ends Havana strike.

Havana, Jan. 3.-Two thousand Ste
vedores struck here yesterday on ac-
count of the employment of non-union
men. Governor General Wood noti-
fed the leaders that the police would
preserve the peace, protect non-union
workmen and also bring the ships to
the wharves to Offset the strike of
lightermen. The brought the strikers
to terms promptly, and the strike was
declared off during the afternoon.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

II the Circuit Court was of the opinion
that thirty five cents>per day was a sui
ficient sum per day for keeping the state
prisonersin the county Jail, why IS II SO
wrong for the County Court TO determine
that like sum is all the county court
should be asked for ike service
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
Another Revolt in venezuela.

San Juan de Porto Rico, Jan. 3.-Pas-
sengers who arrived yesterday on the
Red d line steamer Philadelphia from
La Guayra, Dec. 80. say serious revo-
luton has broken out in the Maracaibo
district of Venezuela. They add that
the government troops have defeated
the rebels and arrested 20 of the lead
ers. Another rising is reported to have
occurred in the vicinity of the Orinoco.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
Transport Return. From Philippine.

The transport Grant has arrived at
San Francisco after a run Of so days 9
hours from Manila, % days Is hours
from Hongkong and IS days s hours from
Nagasaki. On board are 81 cabin pas
sengers and $50 sick and discharged sol
aiers. There We're four deaths during
he voyage.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

the bill still pending at the close OF the
session,
A strong public opinion is behind this
measure and there can be no proper ex-
cuse for longer delay.
lie Congress act Al once and the pep
pies will be done.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

Last week we thought we would be
gay with our Governor, but our proof
reader knocked us out with his poetic
hen. Which is the ghtier the pen or
the hen?
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

Grover Cleveland states that he did not
vote for Mckinley.
Now will he relieve long felt want"
bv stating for whom he did vote.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

OF course all the children in the State
will be glad TO know that our next Gov
ernor has Sandy Clause hair.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
Congressman Cumming. suffering.

New York, Jan. 9.-Congressman
Amos j. Cummings is still suffering
a good deal at his home from the three
fractures OF his left ankle sustained
a week ago bv fall from his bicycle
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
Blood HumorS

doesn'tmake any difference wheth-
er you believe in the modern theory
and speak of the causes of diseases as
referable to germs, microbes or bacilli,
or whether you use the older and better
understood terms OF "humors and
blood diseases - Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla cures them all.
II cures scrofula, salt rheum or
eczema, cstarrh. rheumatism. malaria
and all other blood polsons; nervous
troubles debility and that tired feeling.
This Is not merely modern theory; it
IS solid up-to date fact
Salt rheum on my hands so severe had to
wear gloves most Of the time. and could not
shut my thumb and finger together. was
cured by Hoods sarsaparilla;n MRS. A. O.
SPAULDIsG. North Searsport. Ne.
MY three months old boy was cured OF
very bad case Of scrofula By Hoods Sarsspa.
rilla." WIN. H. GARNER, West Earl. Pa
Hoods Sarsaparilla
Promises to cure and keeps the prom
ise. No substitute for Hoods acts Hike
Hoods DO sure to get Hoods.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
g WA,4~

Laxative BrOmo-Quinine Tablets
the remedy that cures cold in enc day
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

Many old maids will marry this year.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05

This is the twentieth century.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1901-01-05
Write il 1901.

Consr ssis again in session.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02

RHODA ROLANp-"Au road, leads to
ROme'-and office.
NJ. b. pLEASANTON, one Of the M3gnates
of SILK Stocking Row.
ORRIN STINERS, Rhoda's married friend,
ready TO assist In a good cause.
TOM BAXTER, bred i'm bohemia and never
got out oft.
MRS. EDENWORTH, roommate Of Rhodu.
JUDGE BARNsTABLE, NJ. c., twist devil
and the deep sea.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
Let Us Enjoy Ourselves.

Washington, d. c., May 27, 1901.
EDITOR SUNDAY GLOBE:
Let us enjoy ourselves while we are
young. / am only 81 since last Satur-
day; how old are you?
Correct once more except that one
article to which / shall draw your at
tention further on, with your kind per
mission. | do not like to see you make
unnecessary enemies when | can help
you to prevent it. With great deal
of satisfaction and pleasure have |
read your paper; you are getting on
nicely. Like a good doctor your rene
dies for existing evils are bound to eff
feet a cure, even of unwilling patients
But, Mr.. Editor, who is a. j. West h.?
have never heard of him before now;
it seems to me, Mr.. Editor, you have
taken care of Mr. A. j. West, but allow
me to help you in giving Mr., A, J.West
lift My dear Mr. A. j. West, your
education has been sadly neglected
since you are not aware that amongst
the masses you will find the most edu-
cation, consequently the classes, etc.
The article / did not like is from a
veteran who signs himself Honest
lnjun." | do not approve that you
make your paper the battle-ground
for disappointed old soldiers for not
being able to hold down fat Govern.
meut Offices. Give them what they
want, and still they keep on kicking.
These are the fellows who swear and
talk about rebels, confederates, and
Johnnies holding down Offices to which
they have no right Why? Every
thing in sight ought to belong to the
| Union soldier, who saved the flag,
saved the Capitol, saved the Nation.
| Granted We did, are you not satisfied
| What else do you want? / am one Of
those veterans myself, but | claim no
more from our Government (the peo-
ple) than what they are willing to
give me. Oh, these dear old comrades
I have had some experience with some
Of them. Let us see-who are those
people our veterans call rebels? |
don't know Of any; do you? But what
/ do know is this-that these so-called
rebels, who once fought against us,
have long long ago been pardoned by
the victors, and are to-day our fellow
citizens, entitled to the same rights
and privileges that you are. In truth,
/ must say that have more friends to-
day amongst these former rebels than
amongst my comrades, especially those
who have held down fat Government
Offices for years-whO have no use for
a comrade not in their set. The only
use they have for an outside comrade
is to ask his influence and his help to
keep them on the roost. So the less
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
A POETIC HIT.
The Dinner Given by Col. W. L
Brown at Chamberlain'S.

The following lines were written
some years ago, the occasion being a
dinner given at John Chamberlins by
Col. William l., Brown, of the New
York Evening News, to the following
distinguished friends
Senators Blackburn and Beck, of
Kentucky Tim Campbell, a member
Of Congress from New York W. c.
Whitney, of New York, then Secretary
of the Navy General Black, of Illi-
nois, then Commissioner of Pensions ;
Stilson Hutchins Hallet Kilbourn, the
journalist Dick Townsend, a member
from Illinois Matt Ransom, Senator
from North Carolina Basil Duke, Of
Kentucky, attorney for the l.. & N. r.
r. : Charlie FELTON,, Senator from Cali
fornia Andrew Curtin, member Of
Congress from Pennsylvania Frank
Hurd member from Ohio; Pat Collins,
member from Boston T; and ex-senator
Eaton, from Connecticut
Two gentlemen sitting in another
room, taking ice water, heard the noise
of the merry party and sent in the
following lines. 1t is needless to say
that the authors were friends of all
the guests. The two poets were i'm
mediately invited to join the festive
crowd, and one of them was compelled
TO read the stanzas three times before
he was allowed to quench his thirst
Dear Old Brown
We hear the jingle of the glass,
The rattle of the plates
And smell the food and drink; alas!
Yet sit outside the gates.
We hear the sound of Blackburn's
voice
Come through the open door,
And with Tim Campbell we rejoice,
And hear the loud encore.
We know that Whitney's guns will
sound.
That Black will praise the blue,
That Hutch will drink health all
around,
And so will KilboWu io,
THAT Beck is still Kentuckys pride,
That Townsend will not fuke;
That Ransom still knows how to ride,
And SO does Basil Duke.
That /, lions wit is just as bright
As California's gold;
That Curtin is the keystone knight
And Hurd the free-trade scold.
That Collins Irish jest will set
The table on the roar,
And Eaton will his whistle wet,
And Omstead eat galore.
Goodnight In pleasure eat and
drink;
We sit outside your door;
Our only joy-to know your heads
To morrow will be sore.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
A Surprise for Her Quest.

Talleyrand's wife was the reverse Of
brilliant, and he used to excuse his
marriage on the ground that clever
women may compromise their hus-
bands stupids women only compromise
themselves" One day the famous
traveller, M Demon, was expected to
dinner, and Talleyrand conjured ma
dame to prepare herself for sensible
conversation by looking over Demons
works.
Unfortunately, on her way to the H.
brary madame forgot the name She
could only remember it ended in ON"
The librarian smilingly handed her c
copy Of Robinson Crusoe." Madame
easily mastered its contents, and at
table astonished her guests by exclaim-
ing "Oh, monsieur, what Joy you must
have felt in your island when you
found friday"
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
Castle on Postal Savings.
ND San Franclsc0 Star saYs.

sixth Auditor Castle Of ,ho Post OC
fec Department has just written an ar
ticle for one OF the magazines, in which
he deals real hard blows TO the postal
savings system under Government SUI
pervisiOn.
OF course that ought to settle it. II
an Administration menial who let's the
affairs Of his department go at loose
ends and who is ever ready to ignore
civil service requirements, says that a
proposed reform cannot be accom-
plished. why the unthinking public
will be only too glad to take his word
for it.
Mr.. Castle attempts to show that the
system is a failure in England, though
his statistics are drawn from doubt.
ful sources and very badly mixed in
deed. But why does he neglect the his
tory Of the plan in France? Can 1t
have escaped his Omniscience that the
French Government conducts a postal
savings system with satisfaction to
both the Government and the deposi-
tors?
Mr.. Castle Is too pessimistic. He re-
minds one of the people who were sure
a steamboat would never float and that
steam railways were impossible, and
that the telegraph was rank blasphemy
10 the Creator Of the universe The
postal savings system under govern.
ment ownership and control is one or
those things that the government could
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
LONG ISLAND SMITHS.
So Numerous That They Sometimes
Need Labels to Distinguish Them.

a good story is told at the expense Of
the Long Island smiths by a census
enumeratOr. Years ago, before so many
new settlers had come in, he fell into
the habit Of asking at each place he
stopped the name Of the next house.
holder beyond and invariably met with
the response, Smith"
Bless mel said he at length to
long, lank old inhabitant. Are you all
Smiths down here?'
"I'll tell you how it it's squire" said
the old man. There is a pretty con.
siderable lot of us Smiths on the is
land, and no mistake. There was Tan
gier Smith, that the British govern
ment thought so well of they gave him
grant Of pretty much all the present
town of Brookhaven, Then there was
Bull Smith, who made a swap with the
Indians of a few beads and red coats
for all the land his brindle bull Sam
could trot round in day. One family
of us is known as the John Rock
Smiths because its ancestor used
big boulder for the rear wall of his
house. Another line is called the JON
athan Black Smiths because it's ances-
tor was as dark Completed as an In
dian. Still another family is known as
the Block Smiths, from the fact that
their founder had a big horse block
before his door and another as the
Weight Smiths, because their ancestor
owned the first set of weights and
measures in the settlement.
But, bless you, we're nothing as
bad off as they were in Patchogue a
few years ago. There were actually
five William Smiths living there at one
time, not a mile apart either. But the
people got around that too. One Of
them owned a peacock the only one Of
the five that did, and he became Pea.
cock BIZ Smith Another invented an
| improved kind Of wheelbarrow with
| three wheels, and he was known all his
/ days as 'wheelbarrow Biz Smith. The
| third lived on a point projecting into
| the bay, and he was called Point Bill
A fourth was a famous diver, and he
was called Submarine BILL and the
/ fifth was alters called Eleven Dollar
/ Biz for this reason:
"He was clerling in a store, and
when one day a woman gave him two
dollar bill TO pay for her trading he
gave her back slO.5O in change. The
boss got on to II, and he said he mis-
took the two Roman numerals II in a
corner for the figure H."
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02

How John Chinaman Weds at tiome.
The preliminaries, formalities, cere.
monies and superstitions connected
with marriage in China would, if given
in full, almost fill a volume. Previous
to the wedding day the bride has her
eyebrows pulled out, so that she is
recognized ever afterward as a mar.
ried woman. On the morning Of the
lucky day chosen for the marriage she
is carried from her home to that Of
her future husband in a beautiful and
highly ornamented bridal chair. The
religious part of the ceremony con-
sists in the bride and groom worship.
ping together the spirit tablets of the
ancestors of the groom. The parties
first see each others faces when, seat
ed by the bridal bed, the brides veil
is removed, and the two parties drink
wine out of the same cup. The we'd
ding festivities generally last two or
three days. The first day the male
friends and relatives of the groom are
invited to "shed their light" on the oc-
casion. On the second day the female
friends and relatives Of the family Of
the groom are invited to the wedding
feast Not long after the family and
guests have breakfasted on the second
day, the newly married couple, amlI
the noise Of tirecrackers, come out of
their room together for the purpose Of
again worshipping the ancestral tab
lets belonging to the household. Not
long subsequent to this ceremony the
people proceed to the kitchen for the
purpose Of worshipping the god and
goddess Of the kitchen. This is per
formed with great decorum, and is re-
garded as an important and essential
part Of marriage solemnities.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
WE WANT MORE AGENTS EVERYwHERE.
5tiIlles

do for the private individual and save
him being feeced by the banks. 1t
is coming in spite of Mr.. Castle, as well
as the postal telegraph, which is even
more important"
Castles valuable time is taken up
with inventing schemes and putting
them in operation to get rid Of clerks
who have reachedHIs age limit, hence
he had not time to investigate as the
Star suggests. Castle will soon hear
something drop.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
DON'T THROW ME AWAY
For am Of Unusual Importance. SEE
Here opportunity Electric
ana HEADACHES at the would pa 70
ORDINARY rubber comb
DIR. WHITES ELECTRIC CON1RS

Herewith is sample of general
public opinion where these combs
have been introduced. Part of an
article that appeared in the West
ern Trade Journal, January 23,
1900, printed at Chicago:
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
PARTICIPANTS.

BY H. -. SUTTON.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02
How John Chinaman Weds at Home

724 18th Street, N. w.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02


The next Sunday saw Tony with a
new suit of clothes Derby instead of
slouch hat, and gloves-for the first
time in his life-gloves. The reason
for this transformation scene was
walking by his side in the person Of
Jessie. It was Jessie, then remember
ing the library donation, had contrib
uted the mammoth bouquet. She had,
as afterward learned, addressed To
ny as Mr.. Lentz. Hence the turning
point in the tide.
The eventful November morning
came. and the Judge was elected by a
handsome majority. court again In
session, and business with me was
nourishing to such an extent / forgot
| the Washington ASPIRATIONS. Winter
passes the same as other winters. ]
am enabled to save a little money, af-
| ter purchasing some apparel for my
little girl My business falling off as
| spring approaches, I determine, on the
| abatement Of the March storms, to
set out for the National Capitol.
(To be continued
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02

they say about cOmradeship the bet
ter; there is absolutely nothing in it
for YOU or me.
Mr.. Editor, please confine yourself to
what you have approved of-the edu.
cation and protection of the masses
simply your fellow citizens.
Yours truly,
r. +. PREUssER.
The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02


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The Sunday globe., 1901-06-02

Thh,HN Members ofthe Group o Six.
ZAlDALNBRAND,p palmist, a bird ofpassage,
TONY LENTZ, "a boyhood friend back in
the old home.
MRS. GRANT, with Apartments to Let"
DENNlE GRANT, a typical Washington boy,
and
NIOLETTA-Who the ID is Nioletta?
Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-07
POVERTY AND p1ErY.

A western preacher whose salary has
probably not been raised to make good
to him the increased cost OF living in
these prosperous times in u recent SER
mon delivered by him expresses the
opinion that continuous prosperity is
not a good thing for the man on the
farm; that money easily made Is likely
to be fooliShiy spent, and that such u
condition tends to undermine the moral
fiber of the farmer. The writer is al
ways and ever an optimist-a locker on
the bright side of things and for the
best side of his fellows-and so we can
not agree with this preacher, who re-
fleets little of a sixteenth century pie
ty which advocated the crucfixion Of
the flesh as the most orthodox method
of serving the Lord. The good things
of life are just as much the legitimate
rewards of correct living and business
intelligence as are failure poverty and
misery the rewards of shiftlessness,
laziness and lack of business sagacity.
The good things are placed within the
reach of every man if he will but make
the proper effort to win them. Piety is
not the legitimate outcome Of poverty,
for but few people are SO built that
they voluntarily praise God when they
are hungry, poor and miserable. The
men and women on the farm who to-
day enjoy q financial independence
have reached this point only after many
long, hard years Of toll and struggle.
1t will not wreck their future happi-
ness to enjoy good crops and good
prices and freedom from debt. 1t is
hard to be good Christian with only
one shirt and an empty pocketbook.
This parson should learn to look on the
bright side and take his texts from the
Psalms and not from jeremiah.
Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-07
WIRE GRASS AND WEALTH.

The largest manufacturing industry
in the state of Minnesota is engaged
in the conversion of the common wire
grass Of the Minnesota sloughs into
the various manufactured products for
which it seems so well fitted-binding
Irvine, cordage, mating, basket work,
bagging, etc. More than 10000 per-
sons are being supported and doing
well as a result of the development Of
this industry. And we well recall the
time when the wire grass slough was
considered the most worthless Of any
of Minnesota's broad acres and the
owner of it an object Of pity.
Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-07
THE TOWN cows sravn

"A friend from Michigan writes us for
directions how to fix a cows stall in
the barn SO that she may be kept clean
The following is the way in which we
have fixed our own COW stall: Stall is
a feet wide, box manger width of
stall and 2 feet high, common
stanchion to hold cow, floor elevated
s inches above the level Of stable
floor, and Of such length as will
just permit the COW to stand upon it
when she is fastened in stanchion.
The width Of the stall and the length
of the floor will have to be varied to
suit the size of the cow kept. In such
stall the cow can be kept perfectly
clean without any trouble, <
Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-07
OUR LANGUAGE A FAILURE.

The English language, expressive az.
it is, is wholly incompetent to fifty,
present the feelings Of the good woman
who has had her canned fruit all car
ried off by some thief from the cellar
or who comes down some cold morning
in winter to find that her husband left
the parlor door open when he came in
and that all her nice house plants are
destroyed. We might add one more,
and that when she finds her new $40
dress, supposed by her to be the only
thing of the kind in town, duplicated
by some hired girl who works for the
woman across the, street, the neighbor
with whom she is not on speaking
terms. Upon such occasions woman
needs a bad man who can speak three
languages to express her sentiments.
Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-07
a nus1NEss AN1mAL.

We watched an Angora goat feeding
the other day. 1t had been turned into
garden from which all the garden
stuff had been removed. There were a
bed of second growth lettuce, tender
and sweet, a lot Of fresh cabbage
stumps and leaves, plenty Of fine blue
grass and other nice pickings all
around. What did that goat do but
made straight for clump Of wild
rosebushes in a corner of the garden
and strip them almost down to the
ground, and when we left it it was
busy stripping all the foliage which it
could reach from low headed box ell
der. The Angora goat is a business
animal and no mistake.