The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-07-14
Fun OF The WORLD.

Some years ago when Bishop Potter OF
New York was travelling in Minnesota
a man approached him on the railway
platform and scanned his features close
~ Excuse ne" he said finally, out
haven't I seen your picture in the pa
pers He was compelled 20 confess
that he had Il thought so. continued
the inQuisitive one: may I ask what you
were cured or"
zzE
When the TransEaaI war was az its
height. Paul Kruger sent a commissioner
70 England 70 nrd out IL there were any
more men left there. The commissioner
wired from London % say that there were
four million men and women knocking
about the town that there was no
excitement and that men We're begging
TO be sent TO fight the Beers. Kruger
wired back 60 north" The com
missioner found himself in Newcastle
eventually, and wired 70 KRUGER: For
God sake stop that VAR England is
bringing up men from he'll. eight AZ
time. IN cages. he had seen a coal
mine.
sgs
Julian Corbett may be said to have
established himself as an authority on
the history of the British navy. a while
ago Mr.. Corbett wrote 70 the admiralty
10 suggest that a new first class battle
ship then building bc christcucd Drake.
formal intimation that his letter had been
received and should have due attention
was followed after decent interval. by 2
dignired reply from Ny Lords, ia which
they expressed their regret at not being
able 10 carry out Mr Corbett's snsses-
tionfi and explained that IL would be con-
trary 10 precedent TO name a frst-class
battieship after q bird.
Sergeant Kelly of the Irish bar IN the
early years OF the nineteenth century us
ed 10 indulge IN a picturesque eloqUence,
racy OF the soil. but unfortunately he
would sometimes forget the lire OF argI-
ment and would always fan back on the
word therefore" which generally led his
mind back 10 what he had intended
saying. Sometimes. however. the effect
was almost disastrous. one time he had
been complimentlng the jury. assuring
tnem that they were men OF extraordi-
nary intelligence. and then branched OF
into a statement OF his case With a
wave OF his hand and a smile on his face
he proceeded. This is SO clear case.
gentlemen, that am convinced You fclt IL
so the very moment I stated Il. I should
pay men of intelligence a poor compli-
ment 20 dwell on It for 4 minute. there
foreI SHAH proceed 10 explain TO yoa as
as possible"
x x z
A little girl from an East End slum was
invited with others 10 q charity dinner
given at great house in the West End
Of London. In the course of the meal
the little maiden startled her hostess by
7ropounding the query.
Does your husband drink
why no. replied the astonished lady
of the house.
After a minutes pause the miniature
luerist proceeded with the equally be- /
wiidering question.
How much coal do you burn? What I.
IS your husbands salary? Has he any 4
bad habits2''
BY this time the presiding genius Of the I
table felt called upon to ask her humble +
guest what made her ask such strange j
questions.
"weH. was the innocent reply. moth
IT told me 10 behave like a lady and .
when ladies call at our house they al
Ways ask mother those questions.
x x
An eminent Justice who was trying a
-ight-of-way case had before him q Wit
less an old farmer. who was proceeding
o tell the jury that he had knowcd the
.ath for sixty year. and my feyther towld
as he heard my grandfeyther say
AVE any hearsay evidence here
MOL" exclaimed Farmer Giles Then
ow dost know who thy feyther was. 'cept
- hearsay2
After tire laughter had subdued the
ldge said:
I'm courts Of law we can only be guido
9 by what you have seen with your own
yes and nothing more nor less
"Ch. that be blowed for a taler re-
O. a . D.. 81. N.tf.. q "a
ack of nay neck. and 7 never seed an.
at be prepared 10 swear he's there.
anc 'un"
This second triumph on the part Of the
illness set in a torrent o. hearsay evi-
ence about the footpath. which ohtained
eight with the jury. albeit the Judge
'id them # was not testimony Of any
alHe. and the farmers party won.
The sexton OF certain country church ,
5ually makes the most OF an opportunity. + .
ad is not above giving what he describes
8 a gentle hint 20 the siehtseer.
The other afternoon be had conducted
party round the church. and despite the
Usual dropping ~ more than one gen
g hint" it appeared as u the sexton was
go uDrewarded-
In the porch the leader Of the party 5
iused a moment thanked tho old sexton 2
-ofusely. and wished him good after
pom
Il suppose" he added you've been +,
IRE many yearsE r
Forty, replied the ola man, an ha q
VERY strange thing. a. whenever i m !.
showing "A party OR % the porch taeJ
iuE ask me that question. or with en-
laTisi "the other a
Indeed smiled the visitor. And Q
hat may the other question heT
what 7 calls Question number two ?
piled tho sexton calmly els fest THE
'amiwoi. is TIPS allowed Ard SAINT s.