davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.

Wife-"Oh, Harry! You can't talk
straight" Husband-"Sphrained my
neck, my dearsh, looking up for the
(hic) leonids. Town Topics.
Fred--When you opened your
mouth to offer your hand did you put
your foot in it?'' Frank-"N-no. My
heart was in it."-Philade1phia Bulle-
tin.
How did Dodds ever become coun-
cilman?" Huh; he has the only lawn
mower in the neighborhood, an has
promised to buy new snow shovel
Indianapolis News.
That newly-rich Billson carves beau
tifully." Eyes, he learned how to do
that when they lived in a Harlem fiat
and he had to make one chicken go
round with nine in the family. "-Cleve-
land Plain-Dealer.
"Yes, it's true" boosted Col. Bragg.
"I've been in innumerable engage
ments, and yet never lost my head"
"And I've been in hundreds of them"
replied the summer girl, "and never lost
my heart. "-Philadelphia Press.
She-"It's strange how the smallest
things in life make the biggest difficult
ties. "-He-"That's so. Last night, for
instance, could find the house all
right, but for the life of me couldn't
find the keyhole. Stray Stories.
Say" remarked the first boy on the
way to school. IL just heard the minis
ter tel} another man at my pa was a
horrible example, Wonder what at
is? II guess" replied the other, "he
must have lot of fractions in him.
Omaha Bee.
"Now, children" said the school
teacher, "can you tell me of greater
power than king?" "Yes, ma'am,"
cried little boy, eagerly. "What,
Willie?" asked the teacher (expecting
the answer: IAN emperor') }, benignly.
AN ace, ma'am," was the unexpected
reply.-Town Talk.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
PERTAINING TO THE SCHOOLS.

There are four Filipino students in
the University of Michigan.
There are e44 students in the Har-
ward law school this year, 81 colleges
being represented by their graduates.
and Yale leading. fits delegation num-
bering 70.
More young men are studying medi-
cine than are studying law and
theology combined. More young men
are studying theology and medicine
in Illinois than in any other state, al.
though New York leads in the num-
Der of law students. ~
Chicago's public school-teachers'
pay roll has more than doubled in
nine years and is now little more
than 100000 month. There are
$500 teachers, principals and super.
intendents on the city's pay roll.
In the high school at Carthage, No.,
the boys and girls own bicycles worth
in the aggregate $4,000. Two years
ago there were only three bicycles
"going to school,"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Mrs. OlbeFg, . Prominent NllnnesOto
Lady, Tells = Remarkable
Story.

Albert Lea, Mimi, Dec. 3, 1900 (Spe.
ciaD.-There are few men and women
In this state or indeed In the whole
northwest, who have not heard, or do
not know personally Mrs. Henriette c.
Olberg Of this city.
Mrs. Olberg was Judge Of Linen and
Linen Fabrics at the Worlds Fair. ct
Chicago, and superintendent Of Flax
Exhibit at the International Expod-
tion at Omaha. Nebraska, in 1898. Mrs..
Olberg is Secretary Of the National
Flax. Hemp and Ramie Association,
and Assistant Editor Of the "Distaff."
Her official duties are naturally very
onerous, and involve . great deal Of
travelling and living away from home.
She says:
During the Worlds Fair in Chicago,
my official duties SO taxed my strength,
that I thought would have to give
them up. Through the continual
change of food and irregular meal
hours, and poor quality Of water, !
lost my appetite, and became wakeful
and nervous in the extreme. Ny Kid
neys refused to perform their usual
duties. One Of my assistants advised
me to try Dodd's Kidney Pills. and sent
for q box. am pleased to say that I
derived immediate and permanent
benefit. 1 used three boxes. and feel
ten years younger.
~ have great confidence in tho en-
cacy of Dodd's Kidney Pills, and am al
ways glad to speak good word in their
favor.
"Dodd's Kidney Pills are weak WON,
ems best friend"
All Dealers. so cents . box.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

No man is real man of science unless
ne is ready to abandon his own concur
sione, duly put on record, If subsequent
Investigations prove them fallacious.
The president of a great college once
wrote a volume on the practice Of
medicine. After It had been completed
and he had gone to New York to ar
range for its publication, his house was
burned, and the manuscript of his book
and all his notes were destroyed.
He couldn't reproduce it. Ten years
afterward he eaid: "That fire was the
greatest of good fortune to me. If /
had published the book. ] should have
had to stand by it, whereas now know
that 1t was all wrong!"
Mr.. Andrew Lang, in Longman's
Magazine, tells of two geologists who
were gathering specimens in lonely
mountain place. One of them had writ
ten book. The other, looking about
one day with q field glass. saw his
friend occupied long time-unob-
served, as he thought--in rolling a
great stone downhill, and at dinner
questioned him about it.
He pretended at first that he had
been doing it for exercise, but, hard
pressed, confessed:
"Well, the fact is, the COMPOUNDED
thing was 200 feet too high to suit my
theoryl"
But nature h too big to be rearranged
70 suit anyone's theory-even our own.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Tor the present winter season TIE Louis.
vile 4 Nashville Railroad Company has inn
proved its already nearly perfect through
and elegant day coaches from Cincinnati.
Louisville, St. Louis ana Chicago, to No
bile, New Orleans and Is Gull Coast, Thom-
asville, Ca PenaeeIA, jacksonville, Tam
pa, Palm Beach and other points in Florida.
Perfect connections made with steamer
lines for Cu6a, Porto Rico, Nassau, West
Indian and Central American Ports. Tour
ist and Home Seeker excursion tickets on
eral Passenger Agent, Leuisvilie, Ky, for
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
RUSSIAN SPIES ARE HERE.
who Seek Refuge In
America.

The Russian secret police are prob
ably the most skillful in the world; ;
they need to be. In the days of Ma
poleon III. the police of France had
that reputation. They haven't it now
for the best of reasons. An emperor
needs skillful spies in all the world
a republic doesn't. Russia has had its
lessons in the death of the late car
and in the many attempts made upon
the present ruler. So the chief of po-
litical police keeps agents in every
great city in the world. New York.
where SO many Russian nihilists have
found refuge: San Francisco and Chi
cago are especially favored in this
way. Escaped convicts from Siberia
sometimes drift TO the Pacific coast,
while Chicago is watched on general
principles. New York, however. is get
ting to be more and more the chief
object of the solicitous attentions Of
the cars people, says the Chicago
Chronicle. s-'-sls '.s--.s-
The spies who keep tab on nihilists
In America always claim 10 be Mill
lists themselves, exiled for their po-
litical views, or escaped suspects. 1t
IL their plan to secure admittance to
some of the many nihiIist circles here
and keep the police informed of what
goes on.
So long as the nihilists confipe
themselves to speechmaking nothing
is done about it. But if one of them
should start for st. Petersburg with
such a mission as that which took
Bresci from Paterson the home au-
thorities would be warned and stand
ready to receive him after certain
well-known presidents. As for the
spy, his is a dangerous life. If sus-
pected he may become at almost any
time the hero of mysterious murder
cAse.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Mr.. Isaac Brock. of McLennan county,
rex.. has attained the great ags Of III years,
having been born in l788. He q an ardent
friend to Peruna and speaks of it in the
following terms: Esf1a Eak
During my long life l have known .
great many remedies for coughs, colds, c.
earrh and diarrhoea. had always supposed
these affections to be different diseases, but
] have learned from DR.. Hartman's books
that these affections are the same and ara
properly called catarrh~s
"As for DR.. Hartnfn's yunedy, Peruna,
p have found Il % ~ the best. e not the
enly reliable remedy 1br these a&sctions.
( "Hsessa - bsGs 0vs(nn6-AySss
0aay ysarat aDs5 afkrAb9oo 0y0ood
Aoadkh - ~ GHfeo0o - o tn
rsHos!ys = e1auel1 ssso6D ~ ~
HoUwfeo0016os
II have come to rG1y mn Il almost en-.
TREY for the many little things for which ]
need medicine. believe It to be especially
valuable to old people," Issac Brock.
Catarrh Is the greatest enemy Of old age.
"A person entirely free from catarrh il sure
70 live to hale and hearty old age.. A free
book on catarrh sent By The Psfuna Medi
cine Co, Columbus. o.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Hundreds of locomotives are rented
every year. Several corporations make
their chief revenue this way. The
Baldwins have many a machine out on
the rental form of payment. That is,
the engines are rented in the same
way that you would buy stove on In
stallments--so much down, so much q
month, the payments to apply on the
Anal purchase money. II is seldom,
however, that a railroad rents locomo-
tives.-Engineering.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
The Census Of 1000.

A booklet giving the population Of an
over according to the census of 1900, has
just been issued by the passenger depart
ment of the Chicago, Milwaukee 4 st. Paul
Railway, and q copy of it may be obtained
by sending your address, with two-cent
stamp to pay postage, to the General Passen-
ger Agent of the Chicago, Milwaukee 4 st.
Paul Railway, Chicago. III.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

80 CouMot Ne CuDoG
q to;al spplicsticee g they cannot reach
ne @seased portion q the ear. There ie
by constitutional remedies. Desfness Z
caused BY. an infamed condition of the mu-
cous lining of the Eustachian TpSs, When
this tube gets inAamed you have a rumblina
sound or imperfect hearing, and when It 3
entirely closed deafness is the result, and
unless the Inflammation can be taken ont
dition. hearing will be destroyed forever:
nine cases Of Of ten are caused BY catarrh,
which is nothing but an in1amed condition
Of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case Of Deafness (caused by catarrh that
cannot be cured by Halls 'Catarrh Cure.
F.J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold BY Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the hest.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

No matter what ails you, headache to
cancer, you will never get well until your
bowels are put right. Cascarets help nature,
cure you without grippe or pain, produce
easy natural movements, cost you just 10
Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, put
up in metal boxes, every tablet has c. C. c.
stamped on it. Beware of limitations.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

II not, drink Grain-O -made from pure
grains. A lady writes: "The first time
made Grain-O did not like it, but after us
ing it one week nothing would induce me to
90 back tocoffee" Itnourishes and feeds the
system. Children can drink it freely with
stance of pure grains Get package to-day
from your grocer, follow directions in max
Ing, and you will have delicious and healthful
table beverageforo old and young. l5cand 25c.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
Collewiate.

II expect to be student all my life. =
said the Boston girl.
Lets be classmates" he whispered.
And 80 they matriculated In the
school of experience together.-Up to
Date.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

For the Looks - 9he Thing.
Eeeker-Is there really any literary ad-
vantage in the possession Of de luxe edi-
zion of any authors works!
6ageman-Not that am aware Of.
Then why is it that 20 many people are
willing to pay an extravagant price for one!"
"Just for de luxe of the thing, / suppose"
Boston Courier.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Yer no thrue an pathriotic Amurican!r
mo more are you'll" 'Thot Oh am! I got
me papers jest befure Fiction an voted loike
a mon."-Indianapolis News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
ArtandNature.

Was the country lovely, Marie?"
"Oh, just lovely; it looked for ali the
world like q landscape painted by some
ody.-Indianapolis journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

The person who doesn't know much, but
Knows enough not to let others know that
ne doesn't know, knows more than some
Of the knowing ones know.-Philadelph
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19
Inaulfed.

Justice--You are accused of inn
personating an officer of the law
. constable.
Dismal Dawson-Me! You must
think amt got no self-respect left
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Lord Kelvin puts the age of the sun
At Zoe 900. COO years. tits present rate
of combustion, the sun will last from
seven to fifteen millions of years be-
tore burning itself out.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

10 Cure . Cold In One nay
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. An
druggists refund money II it fails 70 cure. &c.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

A Real Patriot.-Friend-' sDo ron love
your countryw Politician-"Y bet / do.
I've held a government job for IL years. -
Syracuse Herald. -
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Citicus---Has Daub made success as an
artist! Cynicus."Yes, indeed \. He be-
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Jell-O, The New Dessert,
pleases all the family. Four Aavors:
on, Orange, Raspberry and Strawberry. At
your grocers. 10 cts. Try it to-day.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Throw physic to the dogs-if You dom
want the dogs-but i you want good diges
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Poet Ito colleague)-"So you are going
to have your beard shaved off," Colleague
Yes; it couldn't be reproduced in mar
ble."-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

The Best Prescription for Chills
and Fever is q bottle Of GRovE's TAsrKLEss
CHILL TONIC. It's simply iron and quinineir
atasteless form. No cure-no pay. Price, SOC.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Wiggles-"Can you speak FRENCH" Wag.
gles-A little. That is. can shrug nv
Enthusiastically journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Il always Judge q man by the cigars he
smokes" II Judge him by the cigars he
gives others to smoke" = Philadelphia
North America. -
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Thirty minutes is all the time required t.
dye with PUTNAM FADELEss DrEs. Sold BY
I'll druggists.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

"Us eSourSSA~Aneoss
Among the funny things which women
do IL to spread an old red shawl over the
sofa and put candle with red shade on
table near by, and call it an oriental cor
ner.-Atchison Globe. ..-s.s,s - $50 Fl,f
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

The only safe bet on record-the alphabet.
Chicago News. n
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

READERS or THIS PAPER
DESIRING TO BUY ANYTHING
ADVERTISED IN ITS COLUMNS
SHOULD lNGIST UPoN HAVING
WHAT THnY AZ ron, REFunlNo
AL oU1oyyxUyM o. l1klTAx1oN2
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Miss Antique can't help wonder
Ing who that old gentleman can be
who has been staring at me all this
evening. =
Miss Frankly-Why, that is Prof.
Eunis. the most celebrated antigua
rian in the city--Tit-H Bits.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-01-19

Thought They Came from new Jersey.
/. Farmer-This is one OF my pet Jer-
Scy cows.
Greater New Yorker-Yes. Isee. I
can tell 'em right along by the dark
spots around their eyes and mouths
where the skeeters bite 'em.-Up to
Date.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-11-29
ouBANs WANT INDEPENDENCE
Gen. Wood Says They Desire to see
Their Flag Float on MORO Castle.

New York, Nov. 2o.Among the pas
sengers who arrived yesterday from
Havana were Gen Leonard Wood gov
ernor of Cuba Mrs. Wood, M, j, DAILY,
the contractor; Sir VIM. Van Horne,
Lieut.. w. Barden and Lieut.. Frank
Mccoy.
Gen Wood aaid that ne would pro-
coed directly to Washington to report
to President Roosevelt and expected TO
return to Cuba on December Z. He
said he had expressed no opinion on
the question of annexation OF Cuba and
to do so would be impolitic. Matters
We're quiet In Cuba and preparations
were being made for the election in
February.
"Of course" said Gen, Wood there
are number Of people in Cuba who
desire annexation, but doubt the pos
sibility Of securing canvass Of opin-
ion on the question. The people Of
Cuba wish to see their flag floating over
Moro castle, even II were only for q
week"
Mr.. DAILY says the city council Of
Havana by an unanimous vote gave
him the Havana contract for public
improvements there and that the plans
and specifications are in preparation
for presentation to Gen. Wood who will.
consider the matter on his return,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-11-29
COLOMBIA AND VENEZUELA.
Washington Notified that Diplomatic
Relations Have Ceased.

Washington, Nov. 29-The state de-
partment has received confirmation M
the notification from the Colombian
government TO Venezuela that n has
terminated diplomatic relations. This
came In the shape Of cablegram from
Minister Hart This action is The result
Of the hastv withdrawal last August
from the Venezuelan CAPITAL OF Or
Rico, the Colombian minister there
Such a breach does not NECESSARILY
mean war; though II Is understood that
II is a step in that direction. Venezuala
has had several affairs OF this kind. some
OF the European nations withdrawing
their representatives from Caracas for
long terms and only year and a hair
ago our own government was Obliged
TO give Minister Loomis an indefinite
leave Of absence from Caracas as a
warning 20 Venezuela OF our dlssatis-
faction ut It's attitude In the controver-
sy growing out OF the nsphalt question
IL Is said these manifestations OF for
eign disapproyal have had very little
Influence on the Venezuelan govern
ment II IL significant fact that this
breach Is created at the moment when
Germany Is considering the ADOPTION OF
compulsory measures to secure the paw
ment by the Venezuelan government OF
a very heavy financial liability to Ger
man citizens.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-11-29
Money for Geo. Bnncrofr's Heirs.

New York. Nov 20. According to the
Herald mere than half million dollars
Is 10 be distributed among the heirs OF
George Bancroft, historian, who died
In Washington, d. c., on January H.
1891 The New York Life Insurance
and Trust company as trustees brought
suit for construction Of certain claus
0s Of the VIII and also for an account
ing a peculiar feature Of the viii ex-
ecuted IN 1877. was the tying up of the
bulk Of his fortune until November /,
1860 Charles G. Glover and James NJ.
Johnson were appointed executors and
trustees The referee Franklin r. Lord.
has reported that at the end Of three
years the executors turned over to the
trust company securities worth s5ilS73,
and this has since increased 10 S6l4 426.
The referee finds that SGS0O0 IL now
sufficient to pay the Income to the an
nultants. This leaves almost S55O00O
for immediate distribution, This Will
be as follows;
One-fourth to the estate Of John G.,
Bancroft one-fourth to Sarah Woo
longher; ono-fourth 10 Susan Carroll,
and one-twolfth each 20 Wilder
Dwight bancroft, Pauline Bancroft
Flach and Esther Bancroft, children Of
John G. Bancroft,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-11-29
GOV. Taft ordered Home.

Washington, Nov. 29.-The secretary
Of war today issued orders and sent
them t. Manila, ordering Gov. Taft
home on leave of absence so he can re-
cuperate and regain his health and
strength.
Gov. Taft Is to leave for the United
States on the first transport available.
AT pregert there are no transports at
Manila but the Fitzpatrick is due there
from New York IN q day or two ana
VIII be ready TO sail for home In about
ten days, The Fitzpatrick belongs to
the New York line but If Gov. Taft de-
stres to come by her and does not care
TO 30 to New York the Fitzpatrick will
be ordered TO San Francisco. If the
governor DOES not care TO come on the
Fitzpatrick the Grant will be ready to
sail about tho middle of December and
the Meade will follow the Grant
While Ia this country Gov. Taft will
be called to Washington to give the
committees nf Congress information for
the necessary legislation for the island.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-11-29
OGDEN OFFENDERS.
Justice Hall Has a Busy Time With
Lawbreakers This Morning.
[specIal to the oNews. u


Ogden, Nov. 29.--1n the case of Dun
can McLane, the farmer from Pleasant
View who was arrested at the lnstiga-
tion Of his daughter Nettie on the
charge Of assault and battery, Justice
Hall, from the evidence that was forth
coming this morning, sentenced him to
six months In the county jail. SUISSE
quontls the court suspended sentence
pending the good behavior Of the de-
fendtnt.
james O'Brlen, who was charged with
housebreaking, was held by the court
In bonds OF $3.50 In default he was
handed over TO the custody OF the sher-
IN, O'Brien is accused Of entering the
residences Of william Woolfnger and
Mr. Fender last week and stealing a
suit OF clothes and watch.
Dick Ryan was found guilty by Judge
Hall Of assault and battery and given
five days Ryan struck a Mr.. George
Wells on Twenty-tlfth street yesterday.
Frank Brennan charged with beg
ging and abusive language, was given
ten days on the rock pile,
ID, W. Sampson. colored, forfeited his
IS bail as he failed 10 appear to answer
to the charge OF trespass.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-11-29
switchmcn Are sun Active

Pittsourg, Nov, 20. The striking
skitehmen are still active and assert
that they have made gains during the
last twenty-four hours. This is denied
by the railroad officials generally, who
report their lines In better condition
than at any time since the men went
out. "S"'
Yesterday being holiday but few
cars were loaded by shippers ana The
railroad companies awaited themselves
OF the opportunity to relieve the con.
gested condition OF the yards.
Relations between the swltchmen and
the tralnmen are badly strained. The
switchmen say Grand Master Morrissey
OF the Tralnmen did not act properly
In refusing to allow his men TO Indorse
the strike. On the other hand. the
tralnmen accuse the switchmen OF act
inE without consulting the other feder-
atoms OF railway employees. II this had
been done, they say, the advance in
wages could have been secured without
trouble.