The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-01-25

Some time elapsed ere he could speak
10 GROWN that rich. full flood
winch eliminated in 4 shrek
That simply froze his blood.
And ..d then he rose and thus he spoke: spoke:
"On second thoughts, you're right;
l only meant it for Il joke.
Thanks, very much; good night"
-Pick-Me-Up.
4 very small pile of coal lay on the
sidewalk in front of house ON A street
southeast. \ correspondingly small son
of Ham was sauntcrng along, and see
ing it, scented Il job. He rang the door
bell.
Am dat you alrs coal:" he asked the
lady ut the door.
"Wan,t it totrd in?'
"Kain't I git de job?'
why. you're pretty small, and then
you might charge too much. You might
ask more than l could pay
How much Is yo' gOt?' asked the
small man Of business. Kin 20 raise
dollah"
"Oh, my goodness. no.
''Seve,lty-five ccnts?''
NO; run along and don't bother me-"
and she started to close the door,
N. "Mebbe so yo'll glib fifty CENTS
tah!'
"No.'
"Ner 4 dime?'
NO, not even a dime" replied the
woman beginning to laugh.
"Well; how much is yo' got" 1ucs,
sut,nly does want'r git de job
I've got just a nickel"
well, I'm JUS a-lookn' fer nickel
jobs and he straightway bcgan.-Wash-
ington Star.
Nice for the Tortoise-"Eow. Mary"
said Il mistress to her newly-mportcd
maid, ''in the kitchen there is pet tor
toisc. and l hope you will be very kind to
it. DO YOU know tortoise when You
see one?' no, mum; shure. and what
loikc is it?' After having explained it to
us that it, mum?'' Yes" ''Shurc, thai
is what Oh was using to break the Goals
wid.'-London Answers.
n Detroit gentleman on recent trip
abroad copied the following epitaph from
Il tombstone in a graveyard in Stafford
shire town in England.
Here lies in Il horizontal position the
outward case Of George Koutlcdge,
matchmaker.
Integrity was the handspring and pr,l-
dence the regulator of all the acts of his
life So we'll regulated were his move
mcnts that he never went wrong, except
when set a-Soing by persons who did not
know his key.
He departed this life November +. 1912.
aged 81, wound up in the hope of being
thoroughly cleaned and repaired and set
a-soing in the world to come.
Teacher Ito new pupiD-"What is your
last name, my little man?'
New Pupil-7'Tommy." .s.s.. .~..,
What is your full namc?'
Tommy Tompkins."
Then Tompklns is your last namc?'
NO, it isn't. When l was born my
name was Tompkins. and they didn't
Civ" me tht other one for a month after
ward. '-Collicr's Weekly.
a traveller stepped from q train at
flttSburg very early the other morning
ana went to the depot lunchroom to get
breakfast. He was extremely tired from
long ride, and consequently not in the
best o. mods.
What dc You want?' snarled one Of
the waiter girls. She had get-ul-too-
soon expression on her face, and spoke
Savagrly.
"A little courteous treatment" re-
sEonded the traveller.
1--WE don't keep it here" rejoincl the
III thought So" was the laconic reply
of the Cleyelandcr. Give me some reg
ular eggs.
I'VE only keep fresh eggs" replied the
"Everything fresh around herc?"
Qucried the Clcvclandc~
eS. she his: ed through her teeth.
II thought So the traveller replied.
AS the traveller ate his breakfast in ST
lence he wondered who had the better
of thn H. ,s,l> II,
girls face she. too, was bordering over
the same question.
The Bartender-"You see. l have to
drink good deal. Every half hour or so
somebody comes in and asks me to take
something.'
The Waiter-"I suppose at my restau-
rant If l was asked every half hour to
The Bartcnder-"Jim. you're good
fellow, but there is no arguing with you.
You will wander from the subject.'-
Boston Transcript.
A little boy declared that he loved his
mother with all his strength He was
all his strength" He said: well. III
tell you. You see. we live on the fourth
floor of this tenement, and there's no ele-
vator, and the coal is kept down in the
basement. Mother is dreadfully busy all
the time, and she isn't very strong; so
see to it that the coalhod is never empty.
l lug the coal up four flights of stairs. all
by myself, And it's a pretty big hod 1t
takes all my strength to get it up there
Now. isn't that loving my mother with
all my strength ?'-Selectcd.
Cassidy-"Th' driver nv tn furst hack
asked me tn way to tn cimitary. Oh
towld him."
Dugan-'"Tnin yez are a hodcarrier no
more''
Cassidy-"Phwar am Oi?''
Dugan-"Yez are funeral director.
Hang ont yer sign."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
There was once Woman who had
Never Learned how to Swim, although
she Went in Bathing every day in the
Summer. She had Friend who had
Acquired this Art with Some Trouble,
and was very Proud of her Proficiency
in it.
1T is Absurd" said this Friend, "to
Live near the Water and not Swim. 1t
makes you very Attractive to Good
Swimmers if YOU can Go Ont with thnm