The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-04-14
FUN OF THE WORLD.


TO the bottom OF the clsss. Leave Der
alone said the parish priest; ''for any
thing Won or Z know 10 the contrary. she
may b. perfectly right
--Courtiug.~ said the Irishnau sis Ike
dying. Sure, a man must do il Tor him
zz gg
4 gentleman was once being taken over
an idiot asylum He asked an attendant
how they knew when an idior was con-
sidered TO be sufficiently restored 70
sanity 10 be discharged.
"Oh." said the attendant. 1T is easily
managed. We take them ingo yard
where there are several troushs- We
turn on the taps and then give the idiots
buckets 70 bail out the water end erspty
the troughs. Many Of them keeps haiiing
away while TIE taps keeps running, but
them that isn't idiots stops che taps
< x
An old woman entered a provincial
savings bank the other day and walked
up 70 the desk.
DO you want to withdraw or dsposit7''
Nav OF doant- OF wants 10 put some
in" was the reply.
The clerk pushed Up the book for her
signature. ana. indicating the place, said
Sign on this line, please
Above it or below he"
Just above IL.
Me whole name2"
yes
Before OF was marriea9''
NO just as it is now"
"Ci cant wrote"
ss
At a certain function, presided over by
a very short-sighted bishop. a young man
arrived very late and explained that he
had been detained in attendance on his
mother.
quite right" said tae bishop so5o
need to apologize a mans first duty is
TO his parents. 1 hope the dear old lady
Is very weil2 Remember me very kindly
70 her and ten her ] shan drop in 60
tea next sunday IL can manage it.
When the young man had passed on
the bishop turned TO a bystander and
said; That vas ycuns Jack Seymour.
was il not.
NO. my lord" was the reply: that
gentleman was the Duke Of Connaught.
Z
She had never seen D footh9n game. He
Is an enthusiast. THAT Is why she listen
ed with an Interested face. as be read
aloud the detailed account OF the hig
game.
Il should think" she said in her pretty
way. that in such "a rough same out
slders would know better than 20 In
trude upon the field
He looked puzzled.
''What do you meau7~ he asked.
Why" she answered. ''didn you just
read 10 me that some inquisitive person
named A. Goal was twice kicked from
the deld9"
And for the life OF him he couldn't
summon Up the necessary hardihood 10
explain her apprehension.
*
Congressman Stallings. OF Alabama. IS
described as man who "cau turn q cor
ner as quick as any politician in Wash
Ington." Recently two of Air. Staliings
constituents net on train en- route 70
Washington. They found that they were
on the same erraud-to remind the con-
gresham that ne had promised to APP
point each postmaster Of his town-one
and the same town and postodice- They
concluded that They would 80 oa 20
Washington and confront Stailings with
his dupliclty. They arrived an right. and
the next morning called upon their con-
gresham at his hotel. He received them
cordially. was not a bit hustered. and
when each in turn reminded him OF bis
promise 20 make him postmaster. Con-
gresham Stallings clapped his hand up-
on his knee. roared with laughter. and
said: Boys, I reckon one ~ you uns
must be lying. and / wish you'd ten me
which 1t is'
s@s
Henry Sanford. who succeeded the late
John Hoey as president Of the Adams
Express company, was a Connecticut
country boy and the habits OF economy
he acquired then have stuck % him Ia a
measure ever since.
His son. Samuel S. Sanford. who is one
Of the finest musicians ia this country.
has no such ideas. however. He smokes
very expensive brand VI cigars and ale
ways procures them OF certain dealer.
The other day Mr.. Henry Sanford went
into the same place AMI said he wanted
some cigars. Certainly. Air. sanford.
said the salesman; "the same brand as
your son smokes
How much are they?' inquired Mr..
Sanford.
zone dollar apiece" replied the sales
@oh. dear no. said the millionaire. 4
can't afford 10 smoke hlEh-priced cigars.
Ny son can. bat be has a rich father. I
haven't"
Es gR
To the many good stories about Lord
BraTnpton. better remembered as Sir
Henry Hawkins, there IS apparently no
end.
Here Is one. on a certain day he hap
pened 70 arrive az q railway station. ard
was al once accos:ed hy a roueh fellow
who seemed very anxious 70 assist him in
handling bis baggage
Struck with his friendliness. SIR Henry
said. you seem very desirous Of helping
me. my friend
That's what I am. str" replied sae
man You see. SIR. once you dfd ue
good turn.
s.Yesg' asked the Judge 'rwhea ana
Whera. pray7
wen said the fellow. "rt vas when
you 'ung Crooked BiIIy Ne en- Eliv onct
u