davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
BOB EVANS'S FIsH STONY.
From The Philadelphia Post.

From The Philadelphia Post.
The public knows Fighting Bob, as an incarna-
ton of the American spirit. and his picturesque
and acOnic candor on national issues II cherished
supreme expression of Anglo Saxon inde-
pendence and yirility. For example. his statement.
IF it be found that the Spanards blew Gp ia"
Maine there won't be anything but Spanish si"k.i
in Hades for the next six months, gave him tit".
in popular estimation. to rank with Grant and
Perry as maker OF immortal epigrams To IN
famiiars Of the club and the mess and to Presi-
"a "a 'V,6 h; LII M ~ i,mIui H az Ie'',e - III
repertoire of anecdotes is seemingly nexhaustlDic.
Grover Cleveland has long been one of the Ad-
mrals friends and admirers. The sea warrior
wit intensely refreshing to the President who.
whenever IL convenient. insisted that Evans
One summer in the Adirondacks the members of the
Of paTy 6eFap 10 Ggse & IN nr e m
Bryan had caught muskallonge so large that two
10 tow IT ashore. The President preserved digni-
fled reticence. betted his rank but he had heard
chonped into hall a dozen sections before The noun
tain town grocer could weigh 1T on his platform
When the President concluded the company
turned Salf appealingly. half triumphantiy to
Evans. His reputation for never permitting story
the ,R Dass aest ~i''o' e''s " was no" 10 De put TO
Il do not doubt these stories in the slightest
said he for had the experience of my life on this
very lake last year. boatman was rowing. and
when suddenly ugly urch in the line made our
Peterborough craft careen and tremble like bat
forced TO let the entire line keep from cap
sizing. for that fish lashed the water and plunged
about like serpent gone mad The whole line
was not enough: that fish had a stronger pull than
successful politician. and presently the boatman
gave cry-the fish Was overcoming him. / sprang
the oars. and together bent the outrcgers
but our combined strength was boys play against
that watery demon. / had fought with tarpon on
the coasts of Florida. but never dreamed of
cOuntering any such leviathan in "A mountain lake
''It all could do to steer clear of logs and
rocks: boat shot through the water: the spray
drenched Al last there mertiful slowing
down of speed. and we knew that our dragon
getting winded. Soon could resist him. We
rowed e1citedly ashore pulled in the line, got
gaffs ready for action and before realized il
ourselves had him safely beached.'
And how much did your fish Weigh?' demanded
President Cleveland eagerly
'Wegh?' responded Evans. "Oh. about three
quarters of a pound"
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
A SALE OF WARTS.
From The Chicago Record-HeraId
A STORY WITHOUT AN AFFIDAVIT.

From The Chicago Record Herald
This theory said the travelling man. 'thdt
warts Will go away when you stop thinking about
them may have something in it, and / am inclined
10 have faith in it, / know from actual observa-
tion that warts can BE- transferred, and will give
you the case in point
Il was buying a newspaper when / noticed that
the hands of the newSbOy covered with warts.
Ills stand was within block of my house. but
am away so much the little fellow did not know
me by name. | said to him:
" You should get some one to charm away those
warts. that being the method of getting rid OF
them when / a boy.
" They amt mine nOw,' ne said Il sold them
last week TO "Teddie" Stearns. and they'll all go
TO him
Now "Teddie Stearns is my own hoy, and did
not like to think OF his smooth, chubby hands
belnS dlSfSured with warts. and did not live in
a wart atmosphere-they belong more exclusively
to the barefoot boy with cOnGitOns-I
my boy to me and looked with anxiety a.
his hands. They We're clean and white a
girls.
''' What is il. papa? he asked. curiously
" j am looking for warts
90 'Oht' and he drew long. delighted breath
there amt any yet. but they're TO come for I
bought them from "CarrOtty Mike for pin. He
says I'm sure to get 'em. Amt you glad?
Glad? could have cried and / believe his
he wouldn't be tenderfoOt and he would nave
warts. / read the riot act TO him and went away
for months trip and when I came back ne was
as proud as Punch his hands had grown a crop
of warts that discounted any thing / saw In
that line. | hunted up Carrotty Mike and would
you believe it. there wasn't wart his hands,
He had transferred them all to my boy
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
ENGLISH LAW on UNLAWFUL KISSING,
From The London Mail.

Jonn Angel Fulham omnibus driver. who was
summoned at West London for assaultng his next
door neigh bor farrier named Scott, pleaded in
extenuation that he did because Scott had kissed
his wife.
the influence of drink. She gave great tempta-
ton kiss her"
Mr. Powden-Do you mean you kissed her to
please her yourself?
ITO please her U-aughter)
Mr. Powden-On what day did you kiss her?
ION the 2Sth day OF May.
Mr PoWden-On what cay was the thraShlnSE
The lst Of July.
Angel Gnterposing)-He got it as heard
of il O4aughter.) lie expected IT, Blessed Is ne
who gets what he expects. Q-aUShterD
Mr. Powder remarked that il not often
man kissed a woman TO please her without pleas
ing himself II Scott kissed the wife 10 please her
the husband should have been much obliged to him
for doing He should have shaken his hand, and
expressed gratitude for helping to make his wife
whom he loved happy. But unfortunately H. lid
believe it, If there was not any law he should
have held that Scott deserved thrashing How
ever. there such a thing. and legally SCOTT
ought 10 have been thrashed. He imposed
penalty OF five snillings, with two shillnss costs.
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
IT SHOOK HIS FAITH

From The Syracuse Herald
Little Harold had been told in Sunday school that
the Lord would heal in answer To prayer. A thun-
derStOrm happened To be raging at the time
Harold had jumping toothache. and his mother
overheard this:
20 Lord. stop my tOOthache.''
Silence for thirty seconds.
80 Lord please do. for heavens sake. stop my
tOothache'
More silence then crash of thunder: then:
30 Lord please do stop that durn thunder long
enough listen To me
The next day Harold had his tooth pulled and
he wouldn't be Christian Scientist for 81
cash and air
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
MS HlNHITT4N COCKTAIL.
From The Boston Journal.

From The Boston Journal.
y Boston man recently went to New-York on =,
visit on this occasion the day after his arrival
he happened To be in the Hotel Manhattan. where
he across old friend in the lobby Tney
shook hands. and the New Yorker invited him 10
have drink.
Well. what shall il be-a Manhattan cOcktaiI?''
Boston agreed. and :hey had two cocktails. and
tncu two him.
Several days later the two friends again met in
front of a downtown hotel
Hello. Dick cried the BOstonian. come up to
the Hotel Manhattan with and Wen have an
other one Of those Manhattan cocktails
WHY, what's the of that? We can go right
in here and get them just Well"
WHAT cried Boston. lin here? WHY I've been
gcng all the uptown every day TO the Hotel
Manhattan to get one
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
THEIR P1RTTNG.
ar HAD HIS DUTIES IN TOWN. SHE ALSO HAD
HER LIFE WORK.
From Life.

From Life
Our time is almost up" he said regretfully as ne
Looked rather sloomily across the wide. subdued
bue of ocean that stretched far away IN 'front.' OF
them. 80 III. i.h. ..o,,,, q f.,r
hours more. and we shall be as far apart from
each other ever. .... - A.,
In was late in July, and they were sitting on the
o,Iirt ittlr pazZa Of admirable hotel TO which
they had drifted together a fortnight before ! ne
wafer Ia ppcd the beach At their feet and the
sta gulls fattened their wings against the SKY
above them as if in full harmony with the beating
of their own hearts Two weeks together! Ana
now they We're TO be separated, for no one knew
how long All romance must end some time
..To-norrow. she said. you VIII 20 back 10 your
work i'm town You viii attend to those important
directors meetings that you have to me or. Ihen
there. are stocks buy and sell, political TRENDS
to meet campaigns to arrange and speeches 10
think over. Your horses too. VIII claim your at
trntion and. of course there is your club. and the
dinners and all the other things for man 20 do:
And you he said half play fully. you too, VIII
be busy You have your life work. YOU know.
There is the church. with its round of social duties
There ar. the societies to which you belong, the
Iars YOU are prepare. the charities you are IN
terested in and the literary events which claim
you. -. xi,..o,,l t.,
her woman's eve as she laid her hand on his arm
Never mind dear she said; some day we may
learn better how to economize our time. Perhaps,
when We have been married another seven years we
shall be able TO more of each other
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
How To circH THE POLAR RE4R.

Herald.
listened attentivey the other night TO a gentle
u'@H Wh" gave me- "a great deal of valuable. in
igifl&tl"h c"1cerninE theSr interesting regions
lie knew Was t"ndrrfOot and a newspaper re-
porter. nUt felt ut liberty therefore talk freely
$" got lot OF yarns about polar bears and wal
ruStS aui o'her creatures. large and small which
AZ" NOT related in natural histories. | heliaV, IN
" wtS one OF the advisers of Alice in Wonderland
wto SUE cSted that the hest way To catch a rabbit
Is 20 get behind a stump and make a noise like a
carrot. and learned with great satisfaction thar
the easiest WHY to catch polar bear is To hide
Pc hind 1O iceberg and make a noise like the
aurora borealis. Polar bears are very tame and
Hk" newspaper reporters and some other people
are gifted with tnquriug minds When strange.
comes out on the lee they greet him cordially anS
show a lustIUabl~ curiosity his business a ne
Int M 0nS. which causes them to fall easy PIE
10 the pdTl0r rug trust.
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
THE CiNNY SCOT.

From Spare Moments.
y poor SrotchwCman lay dying. and her ~.s3.,ud
by her bedside. After time the wife took her
husbands hand and said:
John. were sOin' To part l have tCen a guide
wife to you. haven't H.
John thought moment.
Well just mhdling like. Jenny. you know
anxious to too much
Again the wife spoke;
John she said family. 'ye maun promise
bury me in the Iuld kirkyard Str'avOn beside my
rither. couldna rest in peace among unco' folk
in the dirt and smoke - Glasgow.
"Weel wCel. Jenny. woman" said John sOoth-
ingy well just try ye in GlaSSie first. gin ye
dinna be quiet we'll try ye In Str'avon''
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
1 WILFUL PRINCESS.
From Vanity Fair.

from Vanity ar.
Among the many charming little stories told ot
the late princess royal when "a child. the foloWluc
OF the pretticst eViuciue, il docs !n- IL
ference to childish punishments an! pure love 81
bit f fun. The prime like many chi dren
cherished wholesome dislike to the then phy~i
clan in ordinary. not remotely unConucctet with
delicacies denied and rhubarb pres riped. There
fore the princess invariably ana with irmn"S~
alluded 10 him Brown" This veXed the Queen.
who insisted on respect being paid To all members
Of the household Her majesty. indeed, punished
her small daughter more than opcc for such a
breach of etiquette Nevertheless. one day when
the child happened to meet Dr. Brown III one pf
the corridors she said mschevously Good
morning Brown" And then. turning To Nhe:e the
Queen stood with eyes Of grave disapproval and
meditated punishment. added: And good night
too. I'm going o bed Then slowly. ana with all
the sweet dignity Of three summers and golden
curls she walked TO the nursery and hade the sur
prSed attendant to put her to bed" Cos I've been
dis'pectful 10 Brown"
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08

f,azzle. c1 de now mule what he tuyed or credit
v.z sun. 'roG,d ON what VIZ i,f his house
k,t.h-l fire. ia seuoc dr well jene dried up he
.l.u'f llt. uo vtt-r tcV put 30 out, Den D., got
mad hc gone of 300 conner t"- wear I'm pri-
sHta. er "a. plrt.he tomin Glt way. hearn i'm
-,,,.rIu cn bad 'im up trfu' Sr,~liul Cpmnil tee
Of. turt,d I. ,u, de ,lus a, I'm d, las time seen
lu t, wy c;tu' iu te place whar his house use
t,i bc l-rr.liu' rr de Book rI Iubt'
New-York tribune., 1901-09-08
TRorH rms or BEER uIllitVS.
~ AtLanta Constitution

From The Atlanta Constitution
De ways or Prev.d,r.e. -'i1 Broth I.'h"s
lis past uu1Iu' out Talk, Ir.I N.N.t'. f.
Stuucc. Fer SIX I1yr -u .tt .uu,r .i t.-t t.
.onstan' pr"} i '.i '..- tn -" - '
idcway-t Den Ir ..t -s t.' t.' lr.. .-t tFt
le sun sLiro E.t aat h-- .pul.. .i.rr. t.f ..
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25
Fort I|Street.

onStration against the saVages, while
he could escape to the sailors boat, but
the sailors did not want to risk their
lives against the poisoned spears, be-
sides all sailors knew the frightful fate
that befell Captain James Cook and
his crew on the shore or the Sand
wich Islands.
The ship signalled the yawl to re-
turn. Holden saw the signal. His heart
beat fast and his brain wnirled. He
realized it was then or never. He was
doomed to lifetime barbarism and
slavery on a lonely island if he let an
other minute go unimproVed The ka-
nakas We're restless and had laid down
their spears and taken up their pad
dies to go back to shore.
For Gods sake save me, save me-"
he cried to the sailors.
Swim to us and we will" one of
them replied.
But look at their spears called
Holden.
Dive and swim under water out of
spear range" came the reply.
1t was an awfully desperate moment.
Holden looked eagerly across the wa
ter 1t was a full five hundred yards
to the rowers He glanced about him
at the seven kanakas in the proa. Each
of them was intently watching the
strange white men in the rowboat. He
took in the situation at glance IL
he could swim under water until out
of range of the spears he was safe, but
that was an extraordinary task Be
sides. the naked fellows in the proa
were ready to dive in after him, and
they were as fine swimmers as he.
The decision was made quick as a
flash
Hold up. I'll risk it anyhow" he
called to the sailors. He threw his
head back and quickly drawing air
he inhaled for the
mightiest effort to save his life. A ka-
naka saw Holden's movements and
knew what they meant If the English
words had fallen on deaf ears. The
kanaka shouted and rose to grasp Hol-
den. He was a hairs breadth too late.
Holden had his foot upon the gunwale
of the proa, and in twinkling he had
plunged beneath the surface of the
| water Several kanakas wildly hurled
their willowy spears after him. but
they were too excited. Several others
began padding after him, but a gun
| fired at them from the rowboat or the
sailors terrified the savages so that
they dared not go nearer.
| Meanwhile Holden was still under
water. The sailors got up and scanned
the water for his earliest appearance
above the surface. The kanakas IN the
proa stood gazing about, with spears
| poised in their powerful right hands,
ready to transfix the swimmer the
instant his head became visible. Still
the white man was under water. Inc
sailors were sure he had gone down
| to a grave in the ocean. They mad
seen wonderful feats of submarine
swimming. but never anything like
this. They did not know the suprem--
acy of this mighty physical effort OF
the stranger who had called to them
They did not realize that this was a
performance that meant life or death
escape or lifelong captivity among
Isavages. a restoration to home. mother
and all that is dear and blessed in life
or servitude in it's vilest form. 1t was
a time when all the physical force thai
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25

view across the tossing blue of the
Pacific he resolved to abandon all hope
of ever living a life other than that
among the island natives. He learned
to fish and swim as the natives. He
became as wonderfully adept at aquat-
ic feats as any of the uncommon swim
mers on the island. He constantly de-
clined marriage with the kanaka girls,
and he was kept busy manufacturing
excuses for preferring to remain single
where the boys and girls of seventeen
who We're unmarried were curlosities.
Once he lay i'll for weeks with a
dreadful fever He was very near to
death The natives, who then valued
his services, wanted to keep him alive,
and they ministered to him in their
crude way and practised superstitious
arts to drive the evil spirit out of him.
But he recovered by some miracle
One day in the spring several natives
ran shouting to the CHER that a white
mans proa was out at sea off the west
coast. The whole settlement was wild.
Holden was terribly moved, as may
we'll be imagined, at the sight of
ship and sail so near the coast line,
but he dared not show his emotions to
his watchful and suspicious captors,
who had many a time said they never
meant to lose him from among them.
Going down to the beach Holden saw
several proa canoes filing with kama
kas. Holden, feigning Indifference, got
into one in which the chief was. Every
one was so excited at the wonderful
visiting ship that no attention was
paid to Holden's suppressed eagerness
and emotion.
The proas We're padded out two miles
toward the ship. Then none of the
savages dared to go within a mile Of
the craft. Several proas started back
TO the shore. because the kanakaS in
them were afraid of capture by the
white men. Holden vainly begged and
entreated the men in the proa with him
to go nearer the ship. 1t was all he
could do to keep them from starting for
| the shore. Finally he waved his hands,
halloed and whistled with his fingers,
to draw attention from the ship. Twice
the kanakas in the boats We're ready
/ to paddle back to the island and let
| the ship go, but Holden begged them
to wait and get gifts from the rich
white men on the ship.
At last, after he had exhausted his
lung power, he saw yawl let down
from the ships davits The boat came
from the proa. Holden saw that the
sailors had no idea that they
were looking at a white man, for his
hair and whiskers We're then
| like Samson's. and his color like
| that of his kanaka associates. AS the
vawl drew nearer Holden was able to
call in English to them. and, he says,
| ne almost swooned with delight to
| hear his own tongue spoken in reply.
None of the kanakas. who sat open
mouthed and wondering near him In
the proa, understood a word or Eng
| lish.
Come nearer. 1 am poor castawGy
sailor, and l want you to save me from
these savages," he shouted, when he
knew he could be heard.
I'VE don't want to be speared by
those devils in the canoe with you,
one of the sailors returned.
| Holden urged the sailors 10 come a
little nearer and make sudden dem
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25

young Holden could summon in his be-
half must do it's greatest work. So
on and on he swan beneath the water.
At last, when he could not hold his
breath another second, even if he eS
capped by doing so, and when his brain
seemed on fire from the long imprison-
ment under water, he came to the sur
face of the ocean. 1t was a marvellous
feat. He was out of range of the great
est sportsman in the Sandwich ISL
ands. For few minutes he padded
slowly about until he could breathe.
Then he yelled to the sailors in the
rowboat. They pulled toward him and
he was hauled, exhausted and almost
fainting into the boat. The kanakas
in the proa, seeing this padded swiftly
back to the shore.
Half dead with excitement at his de-
liverance and exhaustion from his SUI
preme effort in diving, young Holden
was, carried on board the ship, which
proved to be the Britannia, in the Eng
lish merchant service. Holden was
shorn of his locks and whiskers, and
became the pet of the forecastle. His
stories of his adventures on the strange
island in the Sandwich group always
had an audience. 1t was on October
90 1894 then he was taken aboard the
Britannia 1t was the first calendar
day or month he had known in his
five and a half years among the kama
kas. He went to Lintin, China, on the
Britannia There he shipped for Ca
SliZ Spain, and from there to New
York He reached New Bedford early
in the summer of 1885.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25
Household Goods
and Ferns

Consisting of Wakefield Rattan Rock
ers and chairs.
An elegant bevelled pier mirror.
Couch, onyx table.
Onyx lamp.
Combination oil and electric chan
deliers.
Pictures, lace curtains, shades.
Portiers. draperies, etc, etc.
Oak dining table.
Heavy oak dining chairs.
Oak sideboard.
Glass and chinaware crockery.
Bric-a-brac, etc, etc.
Several fine bedroom sets.
Maple bureau and table.
Mattresses, pillows, counterpanes,
etc.
One new Bridge and Beach Royal
range, complete.
Kitchen utensils, ice chest, meat safe.
Garden tools.
furnishings of servants quarters.
Also a large assortment of plants.
Veranda chairs, baby carriage and 1
cOckatoo. ~
House open for inspection the day
previous to sale.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25

'These druggists make me tired with
their superf1uous directions"
Whats the matter now?'
why, this prescription / had filled
for the ague has label on it: Shake
before taking "-Philadelphia Press.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25
At Auction
WEDNESDAY,, APRIL 3,19O1

COMMENCING AT 10 O'CLOCK,
/ win offer for sale by order of MIR.
LOUIS MARKS, on the premises cor
ner Of King and Artesian streets, on
the McCully tract, and about one block
beyond the Waikiki turn, on King
street, and almost opposite the resi-
dence of John Cummins, ESQ.,.
An elegant assortment of
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25

WILL E. FISHER, Auctr.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-03-25
MOLAH YARN
ONCE MORE
Horace Holden as
First Yankee
Here.
TELLS OF HAIR
RAISING DEEDS
The Missionaries We're Here Ten
Years Before Latest
Ananias.

A WILD and woolly story of the ex-
"a periences of a shipwrecked sailor
in the Sandwich Islands appears
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-10-02
Shipping Notes.

The steamer W. G. Hall is at present
on the dry dock having new copper
sheathing put on her bottom
The barkentine Coronado moved from
Irmgard wharf over to the Fishmarket
wharf yesterday.
The American schooner Irene arriv-
ed at this port yesterday from Port
Gamble She brings a load of posts
and ties for the o. r. & L. Co
A local paper gives in its col
umn of arrivals of September 30, the
schooner Moi Wahine. 1t would be in
teresting to know where the Moi Wa
hine came from as she has been lying
at the wharf during the best part of
the last week having a big hole in her
side repaired.
The bark Ceylon. which was to leave
yesterday, was not able to get off in
time, as the boiler of her donkey en-
CINE had not been repaired yet. AS
soon as the work on the boiler is I'm
ished the vessel will go to the Sound
for a load of lumber, which she will
take to Hilo.
The FOohng Suey which has been
lying in the stream for quite awhile,
will probably sail for Talbal. Chile. to-
day. or later in the week Captain
Willett has taken on board a crew of
japanese. but as they prove to be very
poor seamen, he may decide to take
on a more experienced set of hands
At Talbal the Foohng Suey viii await
further orders.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-10-02
STEAMERS TO ARRIVE.

Name. From Date.
Nippon Maru-S. F. .............Qct, 4
America Marry okohama : oct s
Sonoma-Sydnev ,i,t;.....Oct 8
STEAMERS no DEPART.
Name. For. Date.
Mariposa-S. F .,.....Oct 3
Nippon Maru-Yokohama ......Oct.
America Maru-S. F. ..........Oct. s