The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1901-07-18
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GOOD
Short Stories

Hero is the latest story of Judge
Henry ID. Rowland. one OF the most
popular after dinner speakers of New
YORK: There was little boy who was
padiy puzzled over the theory of eyolu-
ton. He went to his mother and ask
Ell; Mamma. am | descended from a
monkeyr 1 don't KNOW she answer
ed' i never met any of your fathers
people,"
Herbert A. Giles gives the following
example OF Chinese humor In his Ills
tory OF Chinese Literature: "A man
who had been condemned to wear a
wooden collar was seen by some of his
friends. What have you been doingT
they asked him, to deserve thisp oh.
nothing he replied; I only picked up
an old piece Of rope And you are to
be punished thus severely they said,
for merely picking up an end of roper
Well answered the man, the fact Is
that there was bullock tied to the
other end.'"
In his biography of Phillips Brooks,
Alexander V. G. Allen of Cambridge
tells Of n clergyman who was going
abroad. and talked In Jest of bringing
back a new religion with him. you
might have some trouble In getting 1t
through the custom house." some one
remarked. "No." observed Bishop
Brooks; I'VE may take II for granted
that a new religion would have no du-
ties attached" Another person, for
the sake, no doubt. of argument once
drew attention to the fact that some
men. calling themselves atheists, seem
ed to lead moral lives, and Brooks
promptly disposed OF 1t. "They have
to-" said he; "they have no God to for
give them II they don't"
An old Scotch farmer once went to
have troublesome tooth extracted.
Said the dentist. after looking at the
offending molar; ut is a very ugly one.
| would advise you to have 1t out by
the painless system. II is only a shill-
Ing extra" lie showed the farmer the
apparatus for administering gas. re-
marking that It would cause him to
fall asleep for q minute, and before he
awoke the tooth would be out. After
a slight resistance the sufferer consent
ed. proceeding to open his purse. "Oh.
never mind paying just now" said the
dentist kindly. "Hootsr' answered the
cautious old Scot, "a wasn't thinking
o. that; but II Am ga'en tn sleep A.
thocht A. wad like ia count ma siller
fust."
Frederick the Great once had occa
sion TO rebuke his cavalry for shirk-
Ing their duty. According to "a His
tary Of Frederick the Great" he said:
Gentlemen. | am entirely dissatisfied
with the cavalry; the regiments are
completely out Of hand; there is no ac-
curacy. no order; the men ride like
tailors. beg that this may not occur
again, and that each OF you will pay
more attention to his duty. But know
how things go on. You think am not
up to your lodges, but know them ALL
and win recapitulate them. When the
season for riding-drill comes on. the
captain sends for the sergeant major.
and says; 4 have an appointment this
morning at =, tell the first lieutenant
to take the rides So the sergeant ma
jor goes to the senior subaltern and
gives him the message. and the latter
says: What! the captain will be away?
Then am of hunting; tell the second
lieutenant to take the men, And the
second lieutenant, who Is probably still
In bed. says: What both of them
away2 Then | will stay where I am.
| was up till three this morning at n
dance; tell the cornct am Ill, and he
must take the rides Finally. the cor
net remarks: Look here. sergeant ma
jor. what is the good of my standing
out there in the cold? You know all
about It much better than do. you
go and take them And 30 II goes, and
what must be the end Of 1t ALI What
can hope to do with such cavalry be-
fore the enemy"