The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-06-19
By oPIE READ-(Copy
BILL AND THE PIES.

A hiil-side creature who during ths l most of the years wole no shoes, huri the heart of lank Bill, and he swors that henceforth woman might safely l ihiIbe.' nlfn among her enemies. Don't you ever expect to git married Bill?' an old man asked. and thus the woman hater answered. "I might when I git hungry and find a woman to feed me. Uncle Ben.
 In most instances when man turns against woman he lets his beard bristle. and sinks into the condition oi the slouch. but Bill put on reproach- ful spruciness. The daughter of an H. hcit distiller, the belle of the cove, heart at him. but he dodged and went his way Another young woman who had issued defiance that she could dance down any girl in the community smiled beaches and cream at Blu, but tradition says-he wolloped his to- bacco about in his mouth, spat on a hound pup lying in the sun and went his way. Finally the hillside creature seeing that Bill was arising into senti- mental demand, thought that surely she must have made a mistake in re- Jecting him: and one day. meeting him in the road. she halted, demurely chewing a string of her sun bonnet, and said:
 "Howdy. Bill?"
 'S'peakin' to me, Miss?"
 Yes. I lowed howdy."
 "Howdy."
 "Ain't forgot me. have you Bill?"
 Wall. mout have met you sum- CTS but I don't know whar."
 My, but ain't you pizen. Come on up to the house. Pap wants to see you
 "Ef he wants to see me, tell him to look at me through one of these here spy glasses"
 Now you air foolish. better come on up. Mother has jest baked some turn over pies"
 Bill scratched his mead. with him the half-moon pie. known as the turn over. had fetching qualities. but fear ing that she was seeking to play a trick upon bis emotions, he pulled his hat down over his eyes as if to shut out the sight of a great temptation, struck trot for freedom. By the time he halted. upon him had come the resolve to leave the neighborhood. So the next day. with his belongings tied in red bandanna handkerchief, he moved down to the low-lands. At a lit- tie tavern on the banks of a river now raging with the May swell, he put up, hoping that he might get something to do next day. but just before dawn there came a rush of head water and the town was swept out of existence. Every year the village had been threat ened. but as this was the first time that 1t had been washed away, the calamity was unexpected. In the dark there arose shouts of terror, the squealing of hogs and the wild neigh ing of horses. In the dull red of an occasional glow of lightning from the hills far away, Bill could see houses sweeping past him. He was clinging to the swaying bough of a tree and could not afford to turn loose. Among Illicit distillers in the hills he had been taught the meaning of hospitality, and he reflected that this was a pecul- far way to treat a stranger, and he shouted his criticisms, but no one needed him. The water was fast ris- ing. his tree was bending low, and he was forced to swim for his life. Half the time under weter, tumbled over and over like chunk he was tossed out into the great boiling tide of the river. The darkness was profound; the lightning had ceased. He struck some thing that rode high, scrambled upon 1t and in exhaustion lay almost un- conscious. As his strength returned and as the day began to dawn, he saw that his craft was a seasoned syca- moFe log. He could not see to the end oft. but he thought that he heard voices. Evidently he was an intruder but the log was surely buoyant enough for all and there was not likely to be fight for life. The morning was girted about with a black cloud. and the sun came with a burst. and down the log he saw a woman and a man.
 Good morning." said Bill. The woman looked about and with a star. he recognized the hillside creature
 Thursday, PLAYING POLITICS F,