The Iola register., 1901-03-01
Kansas Clips and Comments

w. b. Leicester. of Manhattan, win
leave soon for south Africa TO ioiI
the English army. He is English by
birth.
And now comes Jerry Simpson,
calamityite tripping down the pike to
the merry hot step of General Pros
perity and dickers for 81, 400 home
in Wichita.
An Emporia minister preached Sun
day on the text: my kingdom is not
of this world, else would my servants
fight" All of which is not difficult of
application.
The joint smashers who get the
water hose turned on them put up the
same roar that other mortals
seeking drink send forth when
offered water.
An inquisitive Newton boy watched
his father oil his hair and then asked:
Papa when you put grease on your
hair does it keep the wheels in your
head from squeaking?"
This conundrum, sprung by the
New York Sun on the Kansas City
Star, is being well received over the
State. Why does Dom Paul wear
rubbers? To keep De Wet from de-
feat.
Sapps theatre at Galena took in
1920 Monday night when Tommy Dixon
and Oscar Gardner boxed twenty
rounds. The Times says the fight was
a draw, and the box receipts seem to
confirm the report.
A formerly of Salina man has just
returned from Honduras with a siren
song of men making millions in min
ing in few years. 1t is believed this
will knock out the Salina turkey crop
gold mining company.
The News says Peabody woman
has trained her poodle to sit at the
front door and rap with his tail when
callers arrive. And the guests are
learning that when they hear those
sounds they should curtail their calls.
The Parsons Sun, quoting an ex-
change which warns that unless one is
careful about kissing one is likely to
catch the smallpox, adds that it is
equally true that one may catch any
thing from slap in the jaw to load
of buckshot.
The editor of the Wamego Times
says q church fair is a function where
man spends more money than he
can afford, for things he does not
want, to please people he does not like,
for the benefit of the heather wLo are
better left alone.
A hundred men employed at Dold's
Wichita packing house recently dis
covered that the pieces of pie which
had regularly disappeared from their
dinner pals had been eaten by one of
their number, a negro. He has pie
mania and stole and devoured all he
could find.
Bent Murdock says ElDorado is one
of the choicest communities on earth.
The people do drink, but moderately
and of the best, will gamble, but use
ivory chips, and, aside from few eX.
ceptions, he thinks the whole popula-
tion could be annexed to heaven with
out the laws being modified.
Peabody News: Did you ever think
about a wrong having to be punished
twice? A school boy is whipped for
his meanness by the teacher and then
by Eis paw" Old boys are whipped
by their consciences and then by the
devil. Meanness is positively the
poorest investment that can be made
Walnut Valley Times: Three boys
found dog and decided that the one
who told the biggest lie should have
him. They told the stories and a min
lister standing near, censuring them
said, "Now boys, that isn't right.
When was a boy | wouldn't tell d
lie for anything" Chorus of voices, {,
Take the dog"
The editor of the Mail & Breeze,
could he reach London in time, rather
thinks he would rise in meeting and
fight the new king for his job when
Edward, after the ancient usage on
such occasions, stands up and offers
to fight anyone disputing his claim to
the throne. And a scrap between Tom
McNeal and Edward would surely be
pretty go,
The closing Of the Joints in this
city was like clap of thunder in
clear sky" says the Chase County
Leader. "But," continues the Leader,
lit was not the result of Mrs. Nation 5
! crusade. The sheriff has the reputa-
} ton, whether true or not, of being one
OF the crack poker players of thistown.
, While engaged in game one night re-
Gently, in one of the joints, according
to the latest story told, he wasa heavy
loser, which brought him to a sudden
p realization of the enormity of the
crime of gambling and Illicit liquor
+ selling, and calling the city marshal
. to his aid, hepromptly enforced the
a law which he knew had been violated
v every day and night for more than a
a year. "The Lord moves in u mys-
terious way His wonders to perform" "
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