davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times., 1901-05-19
A STORY rELLER,s HARD LUCK.
His Pleasant Little Yarn starts on
It's Travels.
(FrOm the Chicago News

EppIey, who is superintendent OF the
shipping department in a downtown busi-
ness house. called out to Roberts ths other
morning: j say, Roberts, what's polar
bear?'
an animal native to the polar regions, "
responded Roberts, grayely.
oh, your head 5 full OF way bills this
morning, laughed Eppley. Il guess you
haven't heard the story.
"Story2 No. Let's hear it,
oh, it's not much of yarn Pat goes
to Mike and says: 'Moike, phats a
polar bear2'
'Phat is a polar bear? says Mike.
'Phwy, polar bear is u polar bear. don't
yez know thot?
'Begorra now, Moike. phat is a polar
bear?'
% Well, if yez must know. polar bear
a polar bear sits on ice and ates
fish! Bedad. thin Oi won't be it, says
'Arrah. who axed yez to be it?' says
Mike: Nobody wants yez to be a polar
hear.
/" Bedad. thin. maybe yez know so much
abUSst it, says Pat Me brothers wife
has Just died and me brother axed me to
be polar bear an l won't be 1t, bedadr -
Roberts chuckled over the story all
morning. At luncheon he repeated it to
Jones. That afternoon Jones repeated it
to Eppley. Eppley smiled family and re-
marked that he always had liked that
story. Jones glared and muttered a sotto
NOCe opinion OF EppieY- Next night Ep-
pley called on young lady. Jones was
already there calling on her sister. Jones
WAS telling the story. Eppley grunted
composedly and said there was nothing
so fascinating as ancient history.
Two evenings later Eppley attended a
banquet given by his firm to their en-
ployes. Far down the same side of the
table he heard a droning voice:
'Bedad, | won't be it.. -
Eppley ground his teeth. When he look
ed again he beheld the staid senior mem
Der showing his mOlars in enthusiastic
appreciation of the polar bear.
Eppley went home sick unto death of
the beast.
Next morning he was called into the
Office TO consult about revising shipping
list. That done. the head of the firm
leaned back in his chair and laughed rem
iniscently.
''Oh by the way, Eppley, you were too
far off to hearsJones story last night.
Too bad you were out of earshot 1t goes
some thing like this" Once again Eppley
was the victim of his OWN humor He
listened patiently to the end and essayed
a laugh. He knew it was failure from
the way the senior member scowled at
him and hitched his chair nearer his
desk.
Eppley was about to explain. when
Jones, entering upon some errand and
taking in the situation. remarked in
plying tone that EppIey never could see
a Joke.
''Well.'' retorted EppIey with spirit.
Jones makes me tired. l wish I'd left
that polar bear on ice while l had him.
Every time Jones exhumes him he's hard
er to bury
The times., 1901-05-19
A GUTTA PERCHA MAN.
An Artisan Who Must Have soft and
supple Hands.
From the London MaiIJ

The 'gutta percha man" lives in a lit
tie red brown canvas tent in the streets
of London. Nearly always brazer
glows before the open door of his tiny
abode
a pan SINNERS continuously on the fire.
but the contents Of the vessel are inedible.
They look like silver when the "gutta
percha man dips his big spoon into the
caudrOn.
Many times during the day the "gutta
percha man buries himself in a hole dug
in the middle Of the street. He is pro-
tected by barricades, and the traffic is
diverted or stopped altogether at his COM
ing. Only royalty and the Lord Mayor
share this prerogatiye with the ''gutta
percha me- 4"
The "gutta percha man. is amphibious.
He is to be met with in the Pacific or At
Street. The marine species has habit
Of penetrating the water to a great depth
and fishing UP mysterious looking objects
from the floor of the sea.
Although no reference to the ''gutta
percha man" can be found in any die
tionary of natural history, he is an in
tcTcsting biped and well repays little
study His greatest popularity is his
hands. A great part of his life is passed
in washing them.
A little dust or CRIME on the "gutta
percha mans" fingers might cut off all
communication between England and the
seat Of war, or IL might lead to the tearing
up of another London street. The 'gutta
percha man has, SO to speak thousands
OF DJuHuS III MS DhIltlS. dlllpuEil ne Elllil-
self is only workman, with between e
and G3 week.
The other day a representative Of the
Daily Mail took the liberty of dropping
I'm on 'gutta percha man" who had
erected his temporary home in the shadow
Of st. Pauls. The visit could not have
been timed more opportunely. for the
"glitta percha man was performing a
sort of massage on his hands with an oil
ed cloth. warranted 10 remove every
speck of dust.
Sorry | can't ask you TO sit down, he
said politely. pointing to the two-foot
deal seat in his .cfamped quarters. With
the exception of his unusally white and
supple hands he was, after all. an ordina-
ry looking workman, dressed in honest
fustian, and with shoulders that suggest
ed they had been bent by sitting in his
low ce.linged hut and creeping into mar
row hoIes.
1T is quite true he added, that have
to keep my hands scruplously clean and
very soft. When a joint has to be made
in the underground cables it is my duty
The times., 1901-05-19
END OF A LUxURY-LovING DOG.
He Pays the Penalty of Feasting on
Fresh Cows MIX
(From the Baltimore SUM

A big white bulldog which had been liv-
ing OFF of the fat of the handspring
chicken and fresh cows milk-had his ca
reer brought to a sudden ending late
Tuesday night by a bullet from the re-
VolVer of Patrolman Scott, of Mount
Washington.
The dog was of unusual size. and for
more thar a month past his movements
about the village attracted attention. He
was declared guilty by court consisting
of Rev. Byron Clark. Mrs. Margaret Car
roll, and PatrOlman Scott of eating chick
ems and surreptitiOusly milking cows For
the former offence he might have been
punished only with a beating but the lat
ter charge was 50 unusual that the death
penalty was deemed the only effective
one.
According TO Patrolman Scott the dog
did not have a strictly legal trial because
he was not present in court, nor did he
even have representative, though his
master, Mr.. William Welch was devoted
to him This was partly the fault Of the
dog, as the officer of the court was una
Lle 10 find the cuiprit and Patrolman
Scott waited two days and two night be
fore he could execute the sentence. Mr.
Neich acquiesced in the action OF his
neighbors after learning the nature Of
the evidence.
Just how the dog formed the habit of
milking the cows is not known. but it Is
thought he acquired it by following the
example of the calves. He had often been
seen with the many cows in pasture about
Mount Washington. OF late IT had bsen
noticed that he and the cows were very
friendly and he was often seen stretched
across a cows back while she was lying
down. His appetite for milk grew so
strong that he was not satisfied with part
Of the supply. but wanted IT all a few
days ago he objected to Mrs. Carroll en-
terng her barnyard to milk her COW. A
shortage in the milk given by the COW
had been noticed for some time.
The times., 1901-05-19

safras was the favorite. 1t is used today
in the country districts as a tea during
the spring months, and many swear by
it. Wild cherry bark. a chosen remedy
of the colored folks for coughs and colds,
has been put among the proprietary med
icines, and there are several syrups made
and literally prescribed by good physi-
clans A mullen syrup is still used by old
school physicians for throat troubles. Bit
ter aloes is one of the old faVorites that
has gone almost completely out of use.
We keep a good many bottles on our
shelves filed with the old-time herbs, be-
cause there is still a small call for them,
but the number of proprietary medicines
is so great and the demand for them so
constant that we like to use our shelf
space for them.
While a drug clerk of today does not
have to make up so many prescriptions as
he used. he has to be much more clever.
The list of medicines has enormously in
creased, and he is obliged to know the
effect of everything he hands over the
counter The concentration principle has
resulted in many medicines being poisons
which were in their old diluted form not
ranked as such. and this means increased
care Prescriptions today are filed with
definite understanding of the physiological
effect of every ingredient that goes in
them. Oid-time prescriptions were made
on the hit or miss plan.
The times., 1901-05-19

of ii throughout Minnesota Many of his
constituents did not like the contrast be-
tween his house and theirs. and the pho
tographs defeated him. Ex-Secretary
George f.. Robson had an experience in
Washington hOuse-building not unlike
that of Window. He erected on Sixteenth
street one OF the largest and handSomest
residences in the Capital, but had hardly
moved into it. when he was beaten for
reelection to the House. and reTTred per
manently from public life.
Just below the RobesOn house is the for
mer nome, in turn, of George H. Pendle-
ton ana William G. Endicott. George +.
Edmunds has lived for some years past in
q Drlson-like massive mansion on Q
street. but his home during the greater
part of his Senatorial career was a mol
est house on Highland Terrace. next door
10 the residence of the late Thomas F.
Bayard. The Bayard house, a plain red
brick structure, with Mansard roof and
a porttco in front. is one Of the oldest in
Washington It's lower windows look out
on large porch and Mr. Bayard was
often seen sitting, book or paper in hand
on this porch in the hot summer after
moons of other years.
John a. Logan spent his last days and
died In rambling old house on Calumet
FIace, still occupied by his widow. In
teresting memories attach to the Logan
house; in 1t. during the opening days of
the civil war. Theodore Winthrop. who
fell at Big Bethel, wrote his novel of
Cecil Dreeme.' and the Logan mem
Orial room, which the devoted widow has
career. one of Washington's earliest
artists, William Oliver Stone, pursued
his career.
One other Washington habitat calls for
place in this chronicle-the tall grey
structure at 7oS Fourteenth Street known
as the Grey House. which was the home
for many years of Roscoe ConkIing In
this house. during the stormy months of
the Garfield Administration, Conkling
and Arthur occupied adjoining apart
ments, and were most congenial neigh
hCr Tha I1s~I.,
ination was sent to the Senate. Conkling
had a long conference with his friends
at the Grey House. Monday witnessed
his resignation from the Senate and the
storm and stress that followed still linger
in the memories of men. The Grey House
has changed sadly since that time. The
fountain and the flowers Conkling loved
and enjoyed from his windows overlook
ing the garden are to be seen no more
Only the memories remain.-New York
Evening Post.
The times., 1901-05-19
TEMPERANCE IN GLASGOW.
A City where whisky Is Not Regard
ed as Liquor
fFrom the London DaIIy ~.


Devotion TO temperance impresses the
visitor more forcibly than any other fea-
ture Of Glasgow life except, perhaps. its
capacity for whisky. The strictest regard
for the great cause animates the authori-
fairs. Every bailie, every magistrate, is
preserve the esteem of his fellow-citi-
Zens. For every citizen is a convinced and
sincere upholder Of the temperance cause.
No matter how many whiskics he may
take in the course Of a day, he never
loses faith in his principles. Indeed. he
seems to find that his temperance pTin-
ciples are strengthened and his exposition
of them facilitated by the consistent use
of whisky.
Whoever you meet in Glasgow dis
courses on temperance, and invites you
to take nip" with him. Not that there
is any hypocrisy in the matter. Nothing
Of the kind. In Glasgow man may talk
the most water and drink the most
whisky without being in the least con-
scious of any divergence between his
principle and his practice. He may most
sincerely believe in the evils of drunk
euncss without ever having the remOtest
suspicion that the question has anything
10 do with his habit of taking u little
whisky now and then.
The fact seems to be that in Glasgow
to drink whisky is not to indulge in
strong drink. The Scotch are a hardy.
healthy. and vigorous race, and to them
the national drink is not a liquor; ii is
merely a liquid. They take il just as they
breathe the Dracing air, as one OF the or
dlnary conditions of existence.
The times., 1901-05-19
OLD LONDON REVIEWED.
What n BioEraph Would Have Re
venIed in George HIS Day.
DION the NeweastIe ChronieIe.l

let us think for a moment what we
should see if the 'biOgraph' or cinema
tOgraph" or living pictures or what
ever the wonder of the day may be called.
had been in existence when Hosarth and
the Kings painter and the author of The
Besgar's Opera visited Jack Sheppard in
Newcastle. Collect in your fancy all the
old Dutch, Flemish and German houses
you have seen in your travels. with bits
of old Bristol. Chester, and the timhared
buildings OF the Midland towns. Plant
them around WyCh Street Newcastle
Street HolyweIl Street (now the disap-
pearing Booksellers ROW. and the Strand
with a row of traitors heads on Temple
Bar.
Add to this architectural and imperial
panorama a miscellaneous pedestrian
crowd of picturesque tatteTdemalionS.
broken Life Guardsmeu, lawyers from the
Temple. merchants, students. and the
beauteOuS Slatterns, the Phyrnes and
Aspasias, of the Fleet Street Athens, and
their paint and patches. and their black
dresses, their low stOmacherS and their
high-heeIed shoes. beggars, cut-purses
swindlers, tavern bilkers, foreign counts,
native hiShwdymen. and some poor I'M
fortunateS, the victims of a dracOnic law
of debtor and creditor, to quote SaiaS
delightful history of HOgarth, and what
a picture We should haVei
Furthermore. ina Gfne the narrow road
ways contested fOr precedence by char
lot like coaches, tall covered wagons, and
other cumbersome vehicles, mostly with
ont springs and heavily horsed; on the
unpaved sidewalk within the posts of the
cutters, sedan chairs lurching along
among the foot passengers. at shop doors
entrances to gabled houses from the top
windows of which the inhabitants could
shake hands with each other across the
street., apprentices calling attention TO
their masters wares; all in such quaint
costumes as you have only seen In some
stage play illustrative or the period or IN
pictures of the time; at night dinliy light
ed by fiambeauS and tallOw candles. hut
10 flavF axrf 2 fNa hnf vya
disguise with my riads of soft coal fires
and the smoke OF engine-houses.
The times., 1901-05-19
A MASHER SMASHED.
Results of Mistaking the Proxess of
Dining Room Girl.
From the Anaconda standard. }

AN amusing incident happened Satur-
day evening, said a hotel clerk yester-
day, in which one of our dining room
girls figured successfully as a female pu-
gf!ist and convinced too ardent SuitOr
that he would not do.
She is a large, blonde girl. in white
chiffon. and wears a GainsbOrOugh hat,
and when she started down the street last
evening she was a vision of lOvelineSS
calculated to make imitators walk side
wise Her ruddy-tinted cOiffdr SurmOunt-
ed a face that looked peach-like. and her
carefully put on complexion was the work
of consummate art. She certainly was
lovely piece of work.
Down the street little way she was
accosted by stranger, who had evident
" been looking on the de menthe when
it was green. He had maudlfu laugh
and a recurrent thirst which had been re-
ceiVinG considerable attention. He was IN
that blssful state technically known as
saturated and his two-gallon silk hat
was tipped rakishly over one eye. a broad
eXpanse of silk shirt front was enivened
by a diamond large enough to trip a
dog He had the appearance OF ready
money.
when he caught sight of our dining
room queen he came toward her like a
cow trying to keep an engagement and
started to Jolly her along with few dan-
ty pulps and parlor patter that smacked
strongly of refreshment palaces This ap-
peared to displease her, and in polite
slang she request stei him to jar loose and
lump on himself This angered him and
he began to make diSparaging remarks
about her personal appearance. He
thought her teeth did not fit and that her
form was upholstered, and made remarks
to that effect. She had a scorching come
back but it had no effect on the man,
and he gave her the decisive guffaw.
Then she lost her temper and drawing
back muscular arm. she landed on his
jaw at the point made famous by pugi-
lists.
When the man picked himself up he
looked like a fried in tho bottom of
a picnic basket and his char r was fast
disappearing in the distance, a fading
picture of Amazonian loveliness. He
watched her recedins form with one hand
placed tenderly on his chin. and then eX-
pressively remarked: ''Well. would't that
crimD yOu2"
The times., 1901-05-19
Mr.. oarnegie's Highland Castle.
CFrom the london sketch.)


For over year Skibo Castle, Mr. An
drew Carnegie's residence in the Scottish
Highlands. has been In the hands of a
large staff Of workmen. The castle has
been transformed al a cost Of about E40,-
90 and is now practically a new building
very much enlarged and suited for rethe
favorite dwelling rt a multi-millionaira
and a Steel Trust Liaguate. a new hall
has been constructed with a white Sicil-
ian marble staircase and elaborately pan
neled ceiling The drawins-rooms, bou-
eoirs, and library are especially hand
some in ibrous plaster decoration. Oak
has been extensively used In finishing of
the other public rooms. The gun-roOm,
which is placed under the billiard room,
is twenty-five feet six inches by twenty
one feet, with an outside entrance for the
RiIlies. The roof of the tower is tiat and
from here magnificent view is had. The
castle stands high and the front eleva-
ton has an imposing effect miles away.
As Skibo is out of the workaday world
IL Is five miles from Dornosch, in Suther-
landshire, which, in turn. is six miles from
railway station--barracks were erected
Tor the worSmen and "A temporary bridge
l20 feet long had to be thrown over a
vine TO facilitate communica tion. Swim
ming baths and private baths are TO be
erected on the seashore.
The times., 1901-05-19
when the Corpse Became Freight.
CFrom the Baltimore SUM


A retired steamboat captain OF this city,
in whom the spark of humor yet slows
brightly. despite his advanced years, tells
the following story:
Il at one time commanded the old
Pilot Boy. whose route was between Balti-
more and the Little ChOptank RIVER, in
Dorchester county. II was my hrst COM
mand, and | felt very new indeed. The
crew were all inexperienced men, who dld
rot know gangplank from the cockpit
Upon our second trip we touched at Iay-
lors Island. A long procession Of car
riages and a handsome hearse were lined
up along the banks. 1t proved TO be
cOOred funeral. The corpse was to be
shipped to Baltimore and the cofln was
eucased in a large wooden box. l he pail
bearers were all attired in long frock coats
and high hats. which bore the unmlstak-
able stamp of the east-of hnery OF the
well-to-do landed propretors They
marched on board, and, after depositing
the body upon the deck, turned ana sor-
rowfully walked away. Freight was I'M
usually heavy that day and two deck
hands seized the box and stood II upon Us
larger end, which proved to be the mead
one Of the pallbearers. Glanclns PACK
about the same time saw what had peeh
done. CONSERVATION regned. ana the deck
hands only escaped violence from the IN
furiated mourners by retreatlnS INTO the
hold and staying there until the boat iett
port"
The times., 1901-05-19
ARemarkabIe A Person.
(From the london Morning Post. !

(ErOm the London Morning fOSt.)
Father John SerSieff, the author of the
little book Truths About God is in
many ways a remarkable person. He is
a priest of the Orthodox or Greek CathO-
lie Church and his fame has spread out
side the confines of Russia, where, at
Cronstadt, he lives. His life, we are told
recalls those of the first Apostles. He is
a man of extraordinary deVoutnesS and
simplicity of life, and is credited with re-
narkable healing powers. ITO those who
hC lieVe in Father JOhn-and their name is
Iegion-the age of miracles is not yet over.
Crowds press round him whenever he
leaves his humble abode, and are happy
if they can only touch the hem of his
modest Garb. Father Johns life is one of
uninterrupted and self-sacriticing chari-
ty and Christian ministration among the
poor, the sick, and the needy; not. how
ever refusing his presence and his pray
ers to the well TO do and the rich. who
send for him when other help fails, ana
never in vain from all parts OF the cOun-
try" f E. Goulaeff, who has translated
the book. testifies that his daughters
deafness was cured by Father Johns
prayer for her in his house.
The times., 1901-05-19
4 DISCOURAGING OUTLOOK
The Future Looks Dark for tie
American Indian Tribes.

Condition of the Descendants of the
Aztecs In Mexico Compared to
That of the Red Men of the United
sfates-Tradition of the NardanISos.
The Yale expositor., 1901-08-23
The Chicorn Wreck.

1t is thought that the wreck Of the
lost steamer Chicora has ut last been
located. Capt X. J. Gordon, of the
steamer Carbon, while nearing st.
Joe harbor from South Haven, when
some 10 miles to the north Of the har
Dor, discovered a broken spar extend
ing few inches above the surface of
the water during the swell of waves.
Gordon noted the location of the spar
by landmarks. The spar is stationary.
and for that reason it is thought to be
attached to n hull below the surface
Gordon is satisfied that it is the hull OF
the long-lost steamer. Marine men are
inclined to entertain the idea that it
must he the Chicora wreck. as no
other boat has been wrecked in that
section of the north shore for years.
The Yale expositor., 1901-08-23
in THE PEMNSULAR STATE.
Child Born While Gliding Over the
Wabash.
THIEF GETS SATCHEL AND 5000
Resume of Things that Have Been Said.
Done and Happened I'm Various Parts of
The PenInsuIar state Briefly sIxetched
for Busy Readers
Three Rivers, Smallpox Case.

The agitation over the alleged small
poX cases in Three Rivers has nearly
subsidized. Miss Southworth, who has
been in quarantine for several weeks,
owing to exposure by visit from one
of the nurses from the asylum at
Kalamazoo. has been released Thus
far she has not been sick at all. The
two fellows picked up on the streets
some days ago ms suspects, the health
officer claiming that they had been eX-
posed. are still detained in quarantine
at the hospital. Recently some of their
friends struggled in Il case of wet
goods, and the result was that both
of them got full. During the night
they got out and Constable Jordan,
who was detailed to look after the
place. had a high time chasing them
around the north end of the city be-
fore he cOrralled the fellows again.
Next morning Jordan quit the bust
ness, claiming that he did not want to
take care Of smallpox patients and
drunken men at the same time.
The Yale expositor., 1901-08-23
Foolish BOYS, Frenk.

Three young athletes Of st. Joseph.
Duffy Mason, Joseph Mason, and Bert
Morris. will on Wednesday next at
tempt what has never before been
tried They will row from ST. Joseph
to Chicago. distance of 81 miles, in a
small open shell boat. There Is con
siderable interest manifested i'm the
event, and considerable money is up.
1t is hoped by the young men that they
can secure Il race. and to that effect
have issued the following challenge:
1--WE challenge any three oarsmen to
row in q contest from the Graham Il
Morton dock in st. Joseph, to the Chi
cago Yacht club house i'm Chicago, in
common rowboats. We will leave at
$3.50 a. m. on Wednesday. August 2l.'
The young men are determined to take
the risk and will not have any steam:
boat TO attend them on their trip.