Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1901-12-26

Notwithstanding Their Practice they Do
II Very Badly.
Edinhnrah Sphfsnan

Notwithstanding Their Practice they Do
II Very Badly.
Edinburgh Scotsman.
A woman complains that, considering
men have had the proposing to do since
the world began, they do it very badly.
She says that they halk at the critical
moment. They bungle the situation.
They outrage the artistic proprieties
They cit down on the ha'o OF romance
that a woman has woven about the
affair. She has dreamed of being wooed
in beautiful, poetic language, and when
be shoves commonplace question at
her in any odd way it skaters the
ideals OF lifetime One of the uncon-
fesaed grievances that every married
woman has against her husband is the
way he proposed 10 her She wss
probably glad enough to get him on
any terms, but there ia difference
between having the thing you want
being slugged with it, Later on you
may be very grateful for the gift--aitsr
you get over your bruises.
Women crowd the theatre to see the
counterfeit of the romance they missed,
YET how poorly oven an actor generally
does it. Off the stage each man has bis
own individual system Of love-making,
and reaches the critical point Of pro-
posing by his own route. -
One Of the most popular IS by way of
the confessional. When man begins
to get sentimental he yearns to tell
girl all about his past life He con
feAses his own sins to her and those of
his friends. Then he tells her that she
is the only person who ever really
understood bis intense nature and that
he only needs her angel influence to
enable him 10 lead the higher life.
When he gets that far the finish is in
sight and 1t Is time for girl 10 sheer
of, unless she desires to try her amateur
hand at the drink cure
The really bashful man always pro.
poses suddenly and when you least
espec. it, He doesn't waste word in
preliminary compliments, because he
has screwed'his courage up to the stick
ing point and he dare not let a turn of
it go. There ia silence and then he
catches his breath and takes the plunge
as Ii he were jumping into n sea of
lce ard didn't know and didn't care
whether he ever came up again or nut
A disappointing lover. but an emf
nentiy satisfactory husband, is the
business, type. You have been good
friends and he has con6dsd to you that
he is getting on in tie grocery trade
and last months sa.es were double
those of the month before. Then one
Sunday afternoon he steers you round
10 some new Hats or cottages, and, after
pointing out that the plumbing is ex-
posed and they have stationary wash.
tubs, he says MARY, how would you
like to live here and be my little house.
keeperf'' and ii YOU have any sense you
say "yes. - -z,'a--
That night you may shed few tears
In the silence of your own room over
the beauty OF the romance you have
missed, but you will never have to
weep any over bills you can't pay.
Then there is the oondescepding lover
the man who offers himself to you in
a way TINT seems tn say, . know | am
a good thing that any woman would be
glad to get, but | have decided to
hestow the blessing on You; hope you
properly appreciate your luck in getting
me-
This kind of man always expects yon
to tall on his neck and thank him
kindly. and II you say mo- he goes
away and remarks that you were not
the kind OF weman he had supposed
you were and he was disappointed In
your taste and intelligence.
But the mt at aggravatinR of all suitors
is the widower. He always tells you
that you remind him1so Of his dear
departed Sarah Ann, as il there was
one person, alive or dead, in the whole
universe you wouldn't rather resemble
than your husbands first wife,
Sometimes he even ltells you that
Sarah Ann picked you out as her suc-
cessor, and, msn-like, he can't see why
the woman who has to feed her hungry
heart on wArmed-over affection aud
rehasbed kisses would rather not he
reminded'of the fact that she didn Z sit
at the first table.
A womun's yearning for romance at
such a time may be fantastical, but
really, though. considering that svery
man proposes once, aud mcst a number
Of times. it does look like they might |
learn to play better ball or else give
women a show at the bat.