Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1901-03-02
FROSTBURG, Md, SATURDAY, MARCH 2 1901.

look into that old oven wasn't an easy
thing. | turned on the gas ana went
for the match. When | came back
and crawlcd on my hands and knees
to light the jct-grcat heavcns.-an
explosion occurred that sent me half
across the room In the middle of it
Hll | heard that Internal milk boiling
over again.
The greatest of natures. when
aroused. sometimes become terrible.
l felt murdCrouS. | also felt dcSpcr-
Lte. gradually approached that oven
ngain assumed the attitude of prayer
and put those biscuits in with a slam.
| was pcrspiring all over. | took off
my tie and collar and looked at my
watch. 1t was $50. was to have
dinner at &, and the tomatoes were not
touched yet. l wiped them of. got
the butcher knife and began to peel
them, for ] reflected | had no time
to waste in cooking them.
| would eat those microbes alive.
Life at this crisis seemed of little worth
anyway. | had read somewhere that
tomatoes should he skinned, not peeled;
but the more | tried to skin those
pesky things the more the insidcs came
too. a terrible expression came over
my face. did not know but my uSu-
ally kind disposition was ruined for
life, but felt sure of the biscuits and
the oyster soup-what remained of it.
Then | put the chops on the fire. 1t
was about I. The chops Immediately
started to see if they could not beat
the soup and sputtcred and blaZcd to
such an extent that felt desperate. |
was watching them every moment
when | thought aloud: by JOvc, there
are the biscuits! Perhaps had better
look Mt them" They were all there,
but somehow they looked detected.
While | was finding out from the cook
book (Which Immediately conSultcD
that | ought to have put baking pow
der in them the smell of burned flesh
made me rush to the stove. only to find
my chops black and beyond rescue. l
felt myself an unfortunate man. l be-
gan to humble incohercntly to myself,
and | feared that it was all going to
work upon my brain. With the aStutc-
ness that charactcriZes me as distin-
guishcd from my fellow men gave up
all efforts. At this moment, because
all hope was lost and | was on the look
out for misfortuncs, | cried out. "Blam-
ed if haven't forgotten the potatoes"
had the look of one of the early
Christian martyrs. They. too, had suf-
fered and loved and lost. Even the in
vectives | had used were not sulphur
Gus enough.
went out into the shed and brought
back pail. Into that | scraped the
soup carefully. Next | dumped in the
biscuit Then | gently put the toma-
toes and chops on top. This accom-
plishcd. I passed hurriedly out into the
back yard. stopping only to get shov-
el out Of the wood shed. l dug a hole
and tossed the whole thing in. Then l
meekly returned to the house and re-
galed myself on some bread and butter
which | found in the pantry. Just as
| was doing this the clock struck s,
and Maria came home.
"IIello. dear" cried. for I was de-
termined to fDrestall any remarks.
'l've been terribly busy. detained at
the office. and Just got home"
ooh. Thnddcus." said Maria regret
fully. "And you nave been without
your dinner! never should have left
you IT,
BY this time Maria had seen the
kitchen.
Maria" said solcmnly. for l saw
her pause. you have been invited TO
join club for the subiugation of hus-
bands. You needn't join. am subju-
gated already. You women are always
talking of our sphere Encroach on
mans sphere if you will, but for hcav-
ems sake don't ask me again to en-
croach on yours"-New York Herald.