The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-11-11
A LADY'S VIEWS
OF FOOTBALL

| Editor Advertiser-Once upon a time
in the dim and misty past of the MIC
Gene age. a company of apes went
forth TO gather cocoanuts. The pre-
historic moon flooded the landscape
with its mellow beams; the luxuriant
stretches of primeval forest softly rose
and fell as if bathing in the sea of
! light Through its untrailed depths
stole the grinning simiadae in single
| file, as frolicsome, yet weary, as
group of youthful negroes on a noe
turnal expedition to a neighbours mel
on patch.
| With chattering. ear-pulling, trip
ping wrestling and numerous other di-
versions, they cheered the way until
the first cocoanut palm vas reached.
Here they halted, and the smallest
member OF the party was dispatched
aloft to throw down the nuts. Then
came the swish of falling fruit. the
soft thud of its arrival, the sharp
crack and sharper squeal that an
nounced it's contact now and again
with the skull of some unwary one
among the eager SCTdUlDESIS DeION.
An unusually fine nut fell where all
could see it, and the darling, dusky
shapes made a unanimous plunge in
that direction. Down upon il went
score of hairy hands, above them half
collided and ssetaoihrdlupnnun, NTH
a score of shaggy, bristling heads col
lded and massed, and beady eyes peer
ed down into the forest of long arms
to see whose hands were in posses
sion.
AS, snarling and grunting, they but
ted and pushed, the exciting onlooker
in the tree slid softly to the ground,
and there was mischief in his eye.
Stealthily he crept among the squirm-
ing arms and legs, watched his chance,
and as the coveted palm fruit rolled
once from under the grasping hands.
he flung himself full length upon it
with a squeal of triumph. The start
led mass fell apart and taking ad- |
vantage OF the instant's confusion, the |
nimbIe one darted up and away with |
his prize, while after him, with angry |
grimaces and menacing gestures plung- |
ed his outwitted comrades.
With his back against a tree and the !
cocoanut held high above his head. the |
primoidial monopolist bid temporary |
defiance to the covetous ones sur |
rounding him. But his triumph was |
him, and with a baffled snarl he spite
fully kicked his stolen property full |
at the head of the nearest ape.
1t struck and rolled away, but the
owner of the smarting head was upon
the nut in an instant and in another
it was promptly kicked back at his
assailant. Up went the two long hands
in an instructive impulse to protect his
head; hard against them came the
missile, and by another instructive
the hands closed fast
around it.
The assai Hing partv stonned short |
while their expressions slowly changed
from rage to surprise, from surprise
TO applauding grins. The aggressor
perceived that he had done a clever
deed, and as he surveyed the work of
MS hands and the admiring glances of
his recent foes, his countenance ex-
banded into a bashfuI but self-approv-
ng grin. "Hurrah!" cried some: and
let me try that" lets have 1t, cried
others in simian, and they held up
heir hands; One after another tried
The new trick, and over the various
a1lures and successes the fun grew |
asst and furious. They kicked, they |
'aught, they flung, they chased; their
purpose among the palms was forgot :
en, and the nutting expedition had
into a game of football in the |
embryo. Thereafter no such expedi- :
ion was complete till enlivened by the !
lew game. :
Ages rolled on, and one prehistoric :
lay Troglodyte took his man-cubS to {
lunt In the regions new and affair." AS 4
hey journeyed, they came among CO. I
oanut palms, and a cocoanut lay on
he ground beneath. The man-cubs :
aused, looked at it, walked around it,
melled of it, then one grabbed at the
haggy thing. But he did not reach it, c
or his brother, obeying an instructive =
kicked it, and it landed Z
of his departing parent With >
growl he flung it back by way of 2
hastisement, and the agile one of the Q
caught 1t accidentally as he be
cid up his hands in self-defense. :
LEASED with his skill, he challenged :
is brother to do likewise, and soon {
he erstwhile angry fraternal relative c
'as playing the part of admiring UNI ;
ire at q game of primeval football. z
This is bully cried the man-cubs -
l the cave-time v1rnacular, as their q
reath gave out; when we come bach =,
ell take this thing home and keep -
to play with" And they smelled -
IT a good place to hide it until their =
,turn. Is
Long after, on lean day of famine -
le cocoanut football became a dinner,
I'd the man-cubs, now hunters them
lives. taught their cubs, when next
ley went forth to hunt, how to fill
it'll wind the stomach of a slaughter
animal. Thus began the evolution
the ball. X.