The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-03-26
HoweNs
Discovery

eyes OF Howell Van Rensselaer, Gibbon
as he stalked into the room, tenderly
clutcting a small pink paper covered
book. 4A-t
Look out!" he cried. I'm a danger
ous man! I'm primed with Vaccinations
clear TO the limit. and I've only 90 look
once at you girls TO make you srovel at
my feet At last have found out how
these Willie boys who have three din
crested, scented notes twisted up 10
light their cigarettes manage IL. They're
going to unload popularity at my front
door from a moving van as soon as !
begin"'
The young persons who sat with drop
ped Jaws said: "why?'
Howell sat down and opened the pink
book. 1.-The name OF this valuable
brochure" he said, SIS The Art OF Be
ing Popular with tho Ladies'. / picked
II UP az a cheap book stand The
anonymous Samaritan who wrote IL
simply shovels out wisdom like "A mil
lionaire distributing nickels. He tells
in various succinct chapters: How TO
court quiet. domesticated young lady;
how 10 make love 10 proud young
lady, 3 poetical or sentimental girl; how
to spark bashful girl. how 10 WOO am
heiress; how 10 make love to a literary
young lady, a religious young lady; how
10 win an actress. and how 10 court a
widow III you run up against any
other kind OF girls you have TO take your
chances or work your own imagination.
Next time l meet one OF these naughty
ceatures who gives you pneumonia with
a single glance shall remember page 26
and start I'm to capture her.
"The author says I'm regard to making
love TO "A proud young lady: Girls Of
this description are sometimes exceed
lngly difficult 10 get hold of on account
OF the narrow system of training they
have been subjected To. Family pride has
thrown barriers around them. Begin
the counting of such a girl with the de-
termination not 10 be discouraged or re-
buffed and whatever may take place
determined perseverance will usually
crown your efforts with success Look
at the directness OF the phrase, what
ever may take place It's so much more
tactful than saying, III her father Kicks
you out
THE author continues: In giving
presents let them be of as great value
ss possible; they will generally be fav-
orably received Before popping the
question be sure that she favors your
suit. Approach the matter in an indi-
rect manner
when he tells how 10 make love 10 n
literary girl the author admits you are
up against II. Also he reveals the hid
eous depra vity of the feminine heart
ever thirsting for flattery. He says:
1T Is not every man who can do this,
and he should not attempt IL unless he
has "A decided taste for literature and in
tellectual pursuit in preference to do
nestle or nome enjoyments.
" TO the true literary lady the duties
OF a wife. as relating 10 the management
OF a house, rearing family, etc, are
decidedly repugnant. She Will expect
you TO be acquainted with all the new
books as they appear, especially works
OF fiction and poetry. Admire the pro-
duction of her own pen. Generally you
cannot put too much fiattery on these
matters Authoresses are usually ex-
ceedingly vain on matters of their own
composition. III necessary YOU may use
your influence in getting her productions
i'm print. and the best present you can
make her Is 90 get printed In handsome
style a poem of her own composition
IT'S when he tells how TO court "A sem
timental girl that the author turns on
the calcium light and the orchestra
tunes up. Doesn't this start your heart
beating? Listen: a young man who
sets his heart on a girl of this class
must live much on the ethereal. To he
much absorbed i'm mundane matters viii
prove disastrous 20 all your aspirations
in this direction. You must be thor
oughy versed in the poetry of life so
that i'm your intiatory addresses to her
you can give romantic view TO the
simplest point i'm hand. Isn't that u
cold proposition for fellow?
sit up nights and memorizc poems,
I've already learned the little poem he
gives later. when he SAYS, reservedly
We will now suppose the momentous
time for the all important question has
arrived Choose some fine. calm sum
mer evening. when everything is soft and
delicious. You may now come to the
point by addressing her in an impassoned
manner in such language as this:
go. my sweetest Angelina.
BY the blue sky and its crowning stars
love you better-O, far better than
Woman was ever loved. There's not an
hour
OF day or dreaming night but am with
thee.
There's not a wind but whispers OF thy
name,
And not flower that sleeps beneath the
moon
But In its hues and fragrance tells a tale
ot thee. my love, 90 my fond, anxious
heart"
Mr. Gibbon closed his eyes In rapture
after this excerpt. I'm going 10 spring
that ON Genevieve this evening" he con-
fided. IL think the consequences may be
interesting.
And this author has a simple super
human wisdom. lie has dclved deep into
the mysteries of the feminine mind. lie
says the greatest trouble IN 10 get on
familiar terms with girls who are excess
slvely bashful. but these bashful girls are
usually dear, precious creature. so con-
nding, innocent and sweet: no distruSt,
reserve or coduetry. and when married
make the best and dearest treasures that
"A man can be blcst with. His mcaning
is commcndahle if his grammar H. excited.
Farther on he makes bright sallles like