davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07


wonderfully successful in promptly curing
lame back. kidney, bladder, uric acid trou.
oles and Bright's Disease, which Is the worst
form of kidney trouble.
DR.. kilmer's Swamp-Root is not rec
ommendedfor everything but If you have kid
ney, liver or bladder trouble it will be found
Just the remedyyou need. Ithas been tested
In SO many ways, in hospital work, in private
practice, among the helpless too poor to pur-
chase relief and has proved so successful In
every case that special arrangement has
been made by which all readers Of this paper
who have not already tried it, may have a
sample bottle sent free by mail, also a book
telling more about Swamp Root and how 20
find out ifyou have kidney or bladder trouble.
When writing mention reading this generous
offer in this paper and SvbT~
send your address to 6ssITizyH III 5sss %sssa
DR.. Kilmer & Co., Bing- d ss
'hamton. N. Y. The s4zs selsl. u = sssstsf
regular fifty cent and Home of swamp-Root
dollar sizes are sold by all good druggists.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

A colored man in Alabama, one
hot day in July, while he was at
work IN a cotton field, suddenly
stopped. and looked toward the
skies, said: 20 Lawd, de crop
am so grassy, de work am so hard,
and the sun am so hot, dat /
b'lieye dis darby am called to
preach -
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07
Short Sighted.

McLubberty - Ovid Uncle Moike
Duffy is out ov his moind intoirelyl
Mrs McLubberty-Phot makes ye2
say thot?
McLubberty--Phwoy, he's been Attn.
er maxim his will an lavin iveryt ing
he's ogt in dhe worruld to his heirs,
not kapin back for himsilf as much as a
quarter wort av anything. Think av
ut, pavin himsilf pinniless at his age.
in case he should dole Harper s Bazaar
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07
HOW TO CURE THE GRIP.

Remain quietly at home and take
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy as di-
rected and quick recovery is sure to
follow. That remedy counteracts any
tendency of the grip to result in pneu-
monia. which is really the only serious
danger. Among the tens of thousands
who have used it for the grip not one
case has ever been reported that did
not recover. For sale by J. w. Legg.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07
An old criminal was once asked

An old criminal was once asked
what was the first step that led to
his ruin, when he answered !:
"The first step was cheating an
editor out of two years subscrip-
ton. When / had done that, the
devil had such a grip on me that
| could not shake him off"
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07
Hia PnAifInn.

"Now, how do you stand on this
question ?" asked the man who had in.
dulged in long dissertation.
Exactly as l stood years ago, when
it first came up" answered Senator
Sorghum. cts been so long that for
get just exactly how stood, but /
haven't changed my mind bit sir
not bit. " Washington Star.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

When you want physic that is mild
and gentle, easy to take and pleasant
in effect use Chamberlain's Stomach
and Liver Tablets. Price 25 cents
Sample free. Every box guaranteed.
For sale by J. w. Legg.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

]. w. Legg, the druggist, will refund
you your money if you are not satisfied
after using Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. They cure disorders of
the stomach, biliousness, constipation
and headache. Price % cents Sample
free.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

Some people don't believe in
letting their right hands know
that their left hands never do
anything.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

"What is your favorite role 2"
asked the interviewer. "The paw
roll" promptly replied the come
dian.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

TRIAL TREATMENT FREE.

Is your blood pure? Are you sure of
it? Do cuts or scratches heal slowly ?
Does your skin itch or burn? Have you
pimples? Eruptions? Old sores? Boils?
Eczema? Scrofula? rheumatism? Foul
breath ? Catarrh? Aching bones or
back? Are you pale Then b. B. B.
Botanic Blood Balm) will purify your
blood. heal every sore and give a clear
smooth, healthy skin. Deep-seated
cases like ulcers, cancer, eating sores,
painful swellings, blood poison are
quickly cured by Botanic Blood Balm
Cures when all else fails. Thoroughly
tested for 80 years. Drug stores, 81
per large bottle. Trial treatment free
by writing Blood Balm Co., Atlanta,
Ga. Describe trouble-free medical
advice given. Over 5000 voluntary
testimonials of cures by B. B. B.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

Some of the cod lines used in the fish
ing industry measure 1000 fathoms
long, or about eight ordinary miles,
having 4, $50 hooks the whole costing
in some cases. GOO or $500
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

cures made by DR.,
Kilmer's Swamp-Ro
the great kidney, liver
and bladder remedy.
1t is the great medi.
cal triumph of the nine.
teenth century; dis
covered after years o.
scientific research by
DR.. kilmer. the emf.
nent kidney and blad.
DE- A~Aas@fg-
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

No, Maude, dear; there is no
similarity between an ocean grey
hound and bark.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07
DO You GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK |?
Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.

Almost everybody who reads the news
papers is sure to know of the wonderful,
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

The woman who has a telephone
in her house receives more calls
than the woman who hasn't.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

Blobbs: Miss Oldgirl isn't
the bud she used to be. p" Slobbs ::
"No; she looks more like full
blown century plant. "
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07

The man who raises hogs realizes
that the pen is mightier than the
sword.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1901-02-07
DON'T I0baecO spit and sa@..o 7o1r TIre 4,

To quit tobacco easily nd forever, be mag,
netic, full OF life, nerve ana vigor, take No.To-
BAG, the wonderworker. that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, soc or 81. Cure guaran,
teed Booklet and simple free. Address
sterling Remedy Ca. II icago or New York
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Riding a Bull in Guam.

The official report OF the Governor
Of Guam announces the interesting
and novel fact that that official, when
he goes abroad on his tours Of inspec.
tiOn, rides in state, not on a horse, but
on a bull. The Governor of Guam il
Captain Seaton Schroeder, one of the
best known officers in the navy, and o
most popular society man. His face
and figure are most familiar in the
recollection of Washington society
people as leading in dancing events
and it is a sharp jog on their fancy tc
Imagine him astrlde a bull while per
forming his official duties. Neverthe
less, Captain Schroeder reports that
he has ridden all over the island look
ing over the abominably muddy roads
inquiring into the condition Of the ma
tiyes and the administration of the lit
tie amount OF government necessary
to make everybody comfortable and
happy. The people are recovering from
the effects of the cyclone, and will
soon have crops from which to derive
a living. The gift Of thirty sacks OF
seed sweet potatoes from Hawaii is
mentioned in the report with especial
thanks. No attempt has been made tc
rebuild the town Of Pago Pago, which
the storm destroyed. The inhabitants
seem to think it wiser to build a new
town than to clean up the old one
Philadelphia Ledger.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10

hair while Mr.. Stevens. very much
| flushed and tlustered, stood close by
awkwardly trying to untangle his cuff
button from the lace at the back of
the young ladys neck.
why what's the matter with the
parrotY demanded Alice, her ewes
starting with wonder. whats all
the racket about"
Il don't know Alice, I'm sure.
stammered Helen, becoming more con.
fused every moment. He's fright.
| ened me nearly to death with his
screeching don't know what startled
him, I'm sure, only-only when YOU
and Tom went out Of the room Joe
mean Mr.. Stevens-got foolish and
put his arm around me and kissed me.
But Alice, Alice, it's all right, Alice.
dear for we're engaged and have been
for month, only we didn't want any.
body to know just yet, because we
can't be married for year, and Alice,
dear, you must promise me not to say
anything about it till l tell YOU"
Say anything" calculated Alice.
"Of course shan't say anything ex.
ccpt Dless You both my children. And
you're a mighty lucky fellow, Mr..
Stevens, isn't he, Tom"
Il know I'm lucky" responded Stev.
ems, smiling proudly at the young lady
to whom he had just been linked
by the cUr button-"but that parrot
scared me out of a years growth
all right and gave away closely
guarded secret"
"Yes," put in Helen, that miserable
parrOtl I'd like To-"
"He isn't a miserable parrot" inter,
rupted Alice. Hes just lovely, and
when you're married I'll let you bor-
row him sometimes Sunday afternoons
when your girl friends bring their
young admirers around to call on you"
TX. NJ, in the Chicago Record Herald.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10

7 I certainly was an odd thing to
do, and the PonsOnbys were not
a little surprised when Helen
~ Waters gave them bright green
parrot for a wedding present. They
did not consider it either ornamental
or useful and not in the least essential
TO their newly married happiness.
1T seems to be sort Of a joke"
said Alice POnsonby to her husband.
~ can't think what she meant by it.E
"Ol, l simply didn't want to dupli-
cate any Of your other presents" ex-
planned Helen when she heard of the
Ponsonbys' perplexity, 'and l didn't
think anybody else would give you a
parrot. And besides it win be some
thing for you to talk to, Alice, and to
keep you company way down in that
lonesome Woodlawn fiat when Tom is
In town ut work all day"
And so pretty Polly" in q finely pol
ished brass cage found a place in the
parlor Of the Ponsonbys' dwelling
place, where he could look down in
the street and scold and fret, parrot
FASHION, at Whatever went on to incur
its dspleasure. The care of the pet
was a new thing to Alice, and Polly
was allowed to go hungry more than
once in his early days in the new
abode. But Alice soon became ac-
customed to the new care, and almost
before she knew it she had developed
a decided fondness for the bird.
In her spare moments of play with
It she tried TO teach it to say a few
things in addition to the Polly wants
a cracker" and the other stuff that
all parrots seem to know as soon as
they have first cracked their shells
And in the course Of time the thing
began to like Alice also, and to slide
along its perch and appear pleased
whenever she came into the room.
But somehow It didn't seem to like
Tom Ponsonby, and always sputtered
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
American Money in England.

Another sign of the American con.
quest. A fruiterer in the West End
is marking his goods in United States
coinage-strawberrlcs, for instance, al
sixteen cents a basket. This is trifie
super1uous. for most Americans who
come over here know perfectly we'll
the valEe Of English money, and of
English goods too. Yet, after all, the
fruiterer Is perhaps only foreshadew-
Ing the inevitable. We are having
new coinage, and we might as well
accept the sltuatlOn-call our soyer.
eigns fye-Gollar pieces, our shillings
quarters" our siXpences dimes" and
our halfpennies cents. London
Chronicle
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
KhalIfa Coined His own Money.

Henry 5. Welcome, who has recent
ly returned from seven months ex.
ploration in Africa, tells an interest.
ing story Of the financial policy OF the
Khalfa of the Sudan, who was the
successor Of El Mahdi in command Of
the wild tribes in that part of Africa.
1t carries a moral of interest to the
United States and other civilized ma,
tions. This khalifa, finding his peo.
pie in need of a currency, coined dol.
lars Of copper taking the material
from the sheeting Of boats that had
been wrecked on the Nile. 1t was the
unlimited coinage of an igredeemable
dollar, and the khalifa issued a decree
that the right hand OF any one who re.
fused to recognize it as legal tender
should be cut of. On one side the
coin bore his bust, on the other side a
pair Of crossed lances, and the design
was not inartistic. Mr. Welcome ob.
tained the dies and brought them with
him to London.
For several years the khalifa sup.
ported himself and his Government by
the issue Of this copper money, paying
all salaries and for all supplies with
it. After two or three people had had
their hands cut Off for refusing to ac
cept it in payment, it became the cur.
rency Of the Sudan. When the Eng.
lish overthrew him it's value vanished
and the coins are now worthless ex.
cept as curiosities- Chicago Record.
Herald.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
QUIK RESULTS.

~ Studer's seasonable announce
ment on sth page appeared for the
arst time in our issue Of Saturday,
Nov. 8, 1900, and the responses were
so prompt that on Tuesday Nov. .,
he wrote the editor as follows:
Anacostia, D. c., Nov 6, 1900.
Dear Sir:-Come over tomorrow.
People want already more information
In regard to varieties Of stock, hence
J will have to alter the adv
Yours,
N. STUDER.
On Wednesday he ordered a much
larger display adv. which will appear
next week. ANY square business man,
who has something to offer that subur-
ban people want, can use these columns
to his financial advantage.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Russia May Abolish Her Nobility.

At present the Cars subjects are
divided into four general classes-the
nobility, the clergy, the inhabitants Of
the towns and those Of the country.
The nobility is itself Of two lads.
hereditary and personal. An officer
acquires life nobility on acquiring
certain rank in the army or navy.
Those who attain the rank of colonel
in the army and Of captain in the
navy become hereditary mobiles. 1t is
most probable that when the proposed
reform of the Russian system Of class
organization takes place the nobility
will cease to exist as a separate class
in the natlon.-Cleyeland Plain Deal
er. -.-.-- -------------------.---.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10

Miss Waters and her escort saun-
tered into the Ponsonbys' fat about
. o'clock that Sunday afternoon, and
their first thought, after a few words
about the parrot and an exchange Of
compliments between the young ladies
concerning their clothes, seemed to be
to get away again.
"But you mustn't be going way over
to the North Side at this time Of day
until you have had supper" said
Alice. "Pm sure you must be hungry,
and you've been here such a short
time. Tom and l can have the sup
per things ready in a jify If you'n
only stay"
1T would be a pleasure for me to
stay" replied Helen, ''if AIr. Stevens
doesn't mind"
Mr.. Stevens didn't mind, Of course,
and the POnsonbys hustled back to the
Kitchen to fix up a Welsh rareblt and
the accompanying indigestibles, leav-
ing their guests to talk to the parrot
and look over the books in the front
room.
They had been gone but q moment
when they were startled by the most
excited sDutterlngs and squawkings
that came back through the open door
ways
Break away! Break away! Leggo.
there! Break awayw
The parrot was in fury OF exc O.
ment and was strutting around lis
cage at great rate when Alice
dashed in from the kitchen. She found
Helen Waters standing far back in
corner blushing to the roots Of her
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
.ElOVU OUR POLLY
GlATGM[5D "A ggGRET .

his wife more for the sake Of hearing
the parrot sputter than to demonstrate
his real affection.
In this way the parrot became an
important member OF the household,
and it was really a pleasure for Alice
Ponsonby to report that her pet was
getting along just fine" when she met
Helen Waters at tea time one Sunday
evening at the senior Ponsonbys.
Really, wish you could see it now
and hear it talk.' said Alice. "Won't
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10

you come over to dinner next Sunday,
and Wen bring you home in the after
noon"
Helen Waters did come the next
Sunday, but not to dinner, according
to the original plan.
"Iil drop in during the afternoon"
she wrote in a note, changing the
time, "and if you don't mind, I'll bring
my friend, Mr. Stevens, who has
asked to call on that day. He is
pleasant fellow and 1 should like you
to know him"
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
A Puzzle Indeed.

The fair young girl who was to be-
come a bride on the morrow sat in
her boudoir, meditating seriously.
"Shall l marry Henry" she mused,
'or shall l shoot him? All the girls
who shoot their lovers get such lovely
write-ups in the papers"
But she decided that her trousseau
might be described in bungling man
ner by the reporters at the trial, so she
concluded to be married.-Boston
American.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
BREAK AWAY"

and scoldod whenever he came near.
"Queer brute, amt it?" Tom would
say to his wife. Then he would tease
1t by pOking his finger into the cage
and pretending to abuse his wife,
which the parrot very soon learned to
resent. The bird was jealous, in fact,
and it soon came about that whenever
Tom POnsOnby gave his wife a fare
well kiss in the morning or took her
into his arms when she welcomed him
home in the evening, pretty Polly"
would put in an oar, so to speak, and
sputter out its angry displeasure.
Break away, break away" It
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
A Gentle Correctlon.

"YOu, sir said the man with the
high brow and lofty air, ARE only
literary hack"
NO. answered the patient plodder;
don't call me that You never see me
getting four times as much for a serv-
ice as it's worth, with a tip throwR in.
| am prepared to admit the justice Of
your remark so far as the intention Is
concerned But don't call me hack"
Washington Star
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
1.-THE LETTER..

Mr. W. A. Hahn,
Prop. Hahn's Reliable Dye House,
7O5 Ninth street, N. w.
Dear Strive find you have been
advertising In our columns constantly
since July, 1890, when this paper was
established.
You are the only business man who
was with us then and still remains
with us and since you have been ad-
vertlslng In our columns continuously
tor period Of more than cen years
we naturally have curiosity to know
now well you are satisfied with the
publicity we have given you.
Respectfully yours,
THE SUBURBAN CITIZEN.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Teninine Firnre

"She looks like thirty cents" re-
marked he but when l reminded him
that the subject of his remarks be-
longed to the gentle sex, he quickly
corrected himself, and l was pleased
to note that he seemed not in the
least offended
Il beg your pardon. l should have
said that she looks like twenty-nine
cents" - Pittsburg Chronicle -Tele-
graph.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Blgness.

"Men are bigger fools than everw
exclaimed the cynic.
May nay" protested the youth.
"They are by no means as big fools as
they were!'
They appeal to me- laugh quietly,
with an air Of reserve power.
"You are both rlght~ | cry "Men
are not so tall as they used to be, but
they measure more around the alb
domenw
When they fatuously fall to arguing
that this is not conclusive, lose all
patience and leave them.-DeroitJ Jour.
nal
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
A Big pIMerence.

Miss Young-"I don't really see why
people should compare marriage with
lottery"
Mr. Old-"No, don't; they are not
bit alike"
Miss Young (enthusiastlcally)-'Tm
so glad you agree with me-"
Mr.. Old-"In lottery, If you draw
a blank you can tear 1t up, and try
again"
Miss Young somewhat mystiiedl-
Eyes. THE King.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
,Oh0N( our NOAn NJ
l&GM BUD GET EXSS1 ! /
G&gHUMoRSSS5DI

ABE Man to Pattern After--ExasperatinR
AmiabilIty-Inolusive-RepIy to a Fool
ouestlon-Nothing Lost--A Lock Picker
The Intricacies OF It, Etc, Etc.
Inc man who tries is a man to praise
-, But wait moment, waitl-
The man who does is the man, my son,
For you to emulate.
Chicago Record Herald.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
KepIy 10 q Too1 nnestIon.

What ten books would you take If
you had to pass the rest of your life
ON a desert island?"
"Oh, l wouldn't take books at all.
I'd take things to eat, t,"-Tit-Bits.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Inclusive.

She-"No, l can never marry you.
All our family is opposed to you.@
He-"But il you are not"
She-'I said all our family."-Phila-
delphia Press
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Nothing Lost.

He-"We may have to wait some
time before we can get married, dear"
She-"Perhaps it is just as well.
Papa says he expects to do twice as
much business next year as this -
Detroit Free Press.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Lost in the Grove. /.

Tess Injecting Jess on the street,
"Whats the matter?'
Jess-"Iye just lost something and
l can't think just what it is"
Tess-"It wasn't your"
Jess oh, l know now. 1t was that
little Mr.. Snipp, who was walking with
me-"
Tess-"Then it was nothing, after
alL'-Philadelphla Press.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
BTightWOOd Avenue Citizens,
Association.
1leetinEs are Held tho Second Fri
day Evening in Bach Month In
BriGhtwOOd Hall.
OFFICERS:

President, Louis P. Shoemaker; 1st
Yice-President, Wilton j. Lambert; I'd
Vice-President, N. E, Robinson; 3D.
Vice-President, Thomas Blagden; 4th
Vice President, DR.. Henry Darling;
Secretary, John G. Keene; Treasurer,
N. E. Robinson.
n0y- Total Membership about 200.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
The only Kind She Knew.

Mrs. Browne-"Mrs. Witty is for.
ever talking about the repartee at her
house when she and her husband en-
tertain."
Mrs. MalaprOp-"Yes. L suppose
that's some cheap kind. l always use
Oolong myself. Philadelphia Press.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
The IntrioncIea of IL

"Why Tidn't you study the time ia.
bic and then you would not have
missed your train"
That was the trouble. While l was
trying to translate the time table the
train pulled out."-Boston Journal
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
A Lock Picker.

"Crookster never has any trouble
when his wife refuses to give him
latchkey."
HE doesn't"
"Nope-he's a reformed burglar"-
Ohio State Journal.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
ExasperntIng Availability.

"Amiable people are often so exas-
perating"
Yes; wonder If that is what makes
them feel so amlable. Detroit Free
Press.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
THE REPLY.

Editor Suburban Citizen.
Dear Sir:--In answer to your request
] VIII say / am very well satisfied with
tesul s from my adv. in your paper.
The fact Of my adv. being In your
Saper for over ten years speaks for IT.
"~I+ Respectfully,
W. A. HAHN,
705 Ninth street NJ W.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
Darkens His Life.

Askit-"Why does Written, the great
author, wear such a look Of constant
fearT
Tillit-"He wrote the class song
when he graduated, and his enemies
are constantly threatening to make it
public. c."-Balrimor American.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10

A Pointer-When you order goods
from Hartig, the hardware man, 509
II St., N. E., they come the same day.
There Is no delay like there Is in cases
where goods are ordered from Balti-
more, Philadelphia, Chicago or other
foreign houses.
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
THE sunuRRAh orr

III II 81 hD hbAN OlEl
ZEN 10 a permanent instltU
hon--a fixture at the NRtlOnM
Capital. Thousands aud thou
sands OF people can testify to
the good work II has accom-
pllshed during the past 1--WE
yea rs IN the line Of suburban
Improvement. 10 Is the only
BeWs paper In the District OF
Columbia that maintains a
punching bureau, whose duty
\ Is to punch up the authori
blOs and keep thom awake 90
yhs needs Of the suburbs. On
bhat account IL deserves and ~
receiving substantial sncouy
NIAEn enk-
The suburban citizen., 1901-08-10
FOR SALE.

Several tracts Of land near BrlgbtwoOd
and TdkomA, also Building Lots on
BrightwOod Ave, and 14th Street road
Louis p, Shoemaker. 990 + st., N. w