The Savannah morning news., 1901-08-26
THE INVENTIONS OF GEORGE.
A Mattress for Mountain Climbers
to Drop On.


to Drop On.
From the Chicago Record Herald.
Georges been at 1t again." said Mr..
Daniel Husselman as he whetted the
paper-knife on the edge of his desk.
HE came into the Office this morning
and he says to me:
Father, have you ever noticed that
the inventors have neglected one thing
they should have tried to attend to long
ago?"
well 1 says, Il dunno as I've no
ticed the particular thing you're think
in of, that it seems to me that If they
could only turn in and invent some
way to make people quite thinkih' that
just because they have a college edu-
cation they mustn't ever work any
where except at mahogany desk, it'd
be pretty good thing for all concern
ed
George looked for a minute or so as
though he thought mebby meant him,
but he side-stepped and come up smil-
IN pretty soon, and says:
I've been workin' on an invention
that is going to prove the greatest boon
to humanity the world has ever known.
Look at this paper he says, unfoldin
a sheet and pointin' at some big head
lines on an article tellin' about the ter
rible fate of several people that fell
off from the Matterhorn and never
knew khat struck them. I've invented
mattress for mountain climbers to
drop on he says, when the rope
breaks or they slip and tumble over the
edge of cliff. This is something that
humanity's been craving for years and
,f "a
have been spared if everyone that ever
went to the Alps and tried to climb
them could have had something soft
to fall on when he struck bottom
Well / says, not wantin' to dis
courage him, because you never can
tell what good thing even the worst
blame fool on earth may happen to
strike If he keeps on, WELL l SAYS, 81
never clum an Alp myself and I don't
know just how they go at it, but it
seems to me that it would be kind of
hard to always have your feather-bed
or whatever you call it at the place
"here II would do the most good when
Fellow lost his hold on his old Mat
terhorn.'
Oh says George. swellin' I'D and
baiancin' on his heels. I've fixed that
part of it all right. That's where the
invention comes in. Anybody could
have thought of the other part of II
Now I'm goin' to show you lust
where a college training does the most
good. 1t gives a man the power to
concentrate his faculties, and that's
where he has the advantage of a self
made man. By concentrating my fac
uities l was able to work out this the
DRY. l could see that my mattress
would be useless unless it was where
10 I,-Avn e..
| have planned it so each mountain
timber shall carry his mattress with
him.
That's a good idea says I, and
when he sees that he's goin' to fall he
just drops 1t over the side of the Alp.
does he? 1t seems to me a rig of that
kind would he sort of awkward to tote
along up there, though, wouldn't it.?
And s'posing the mattress got fast on
something so the fellow that owned II
reached the bottom first? What good
would it do him to have the thing come
roliin' down ten or fifteen minutes after
the crowd below had commenced to dig
for his remains?
Il could see that the boy actually
pitied me because I couldn't concen-
trate my faculties any better, but he
said tryin' to seem respectful:
You miss the whole point. My plan
is to have the mattress made Of rub
Der. When it's not blown up It can
be carried in a little roll. slung over
the mountain climbers shoulder. It
wouldn't weigh more than three or four
pounds. and would have a valve some
where so that 1T could be inflated when
needed
"', / see,' says l. When the noun
tain climber fell off from the top of an
Alp about 1864 feet high all he'd have
to do while going down would be to
unstrap the mattress and get GU. his
bicycle pump He couldn't blow X up
with his breath, because, as / under
stand it, fellow loses that while he's
shootin' down through space and ned
be to busy clutchin' at things, just be-
fore he slipped off, to do any punpln'.
But not bein' able to concentrate rny
faculties I may not be able to see
lot of thing about this invention that
are perfectly plain to you
Then he Started away with a hurt
look on his face. and l wouldn't be
bit surprised If the Alp climbers would
have m 90 On fakin' their chanoaSts