The San Francisco call., 1901-12-02
A CHANCE TO SMILE.

a OHAINOE ~ OMlLE.
'rPa, what is a pre-glaclal man?"
'fWhy, man before he had to pay Ice
bills, of course e."-Detroit Free Press.
Dolly-I wonder why that man gIared
at me so.
Polly-Why. you've got on shirt waist
just like his!-Puck.
Money talks. you know" said the
waiter.
Eyes, know" said the diner. "And
I'm going to give you a quiet tip. p.'-Yon-
kers Statesman.
He-You appear to be aIarmingly igno-
rant in horticulture. I'm afraid you hard
ly know one flower from another.
She-Guess you're about right Not even
graham from white.-Boston Transcript.
she-I thought that the Rev. Mr.. Cross
roads was expecting call to city
church.
He-So he was: but after the members
of the city church heard his trial sermon
they came to the conclusion that ne had
missed his calling.-Smart Set.
sponger-What is that expression? Be-
tween the what of a dilemma?
Kraft-No, you don't. You want me 20
say HORNS and you think thatn re-
mind me to ask you to have one.-Phiia'
delphia Record.
.swhat is he going to do now?" breath
| lessly asked the agitated young woman
with her eyes on the daring aeronant'
who was clinging to his parachute.
''He is about to sever his connection
with the balloon replied her escort "to
| accept position a little lower down.
| Chicago Tribune.
"Yesg said the old inhabitant, "a mule
| kicked him 'crost ten-acre field, an
when he landed bull tossed him into
| pine saDlin' an when he got thar a
cyclone blowed the saplin' down an then
he give up farmin' foreverP rP'-Atlanta
Constitution.
HE speaks of making headway in the
teeth Of the gale " remarked the editor.
"False! said the yachting correspondent,
who knew there had not been even rip
pie. "Ah, then 1 will put it the false
teeth of the gale "-Philadelphia Record.
at don't want to see Lydia when she
comes back from that summer school"
''Why not?'
"Oh she will be bursting with knowl-
| edge, while the rest of US have been sit
| ting around here in the heat forgetting
what little we know."-Detroit Free
Press.
o : !. + : ~ .
dollar week out of school hours is
bound to give that money to his father.
INAUGURATION DAY-Enq., City.
The next time that Inauguration day will
fall on Sunday will be in 1906 1t will
| again fall on that day in II, %, '2S, "a,
AS, 81, So 80, '7S, 70, "a and 1890.
1n,rT =, roTDn n T,ifr, uA
little bird told me so,' a quotation that
is frequently used is not from the Bible,
but it is probable that it is an adaptation
from the following, Ecclesiastes, X, 29:
Curse not the king, no, not in thy
thoughts; and curse not the rich in thy
bedchamber; for a bird of the air shall
carry the voice, and that which hath
wings shall tell the matter"
PUBLIC LANDS-L, Honolulu, H. T.
There are public lands vacant and sub
ject to entry and settlement in Alabema,
Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California.
Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louis
ana, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi
Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada
New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma
Oregon, South Dakota, Utah, Washing
ton, Wisconsin, Wyoming For informa-
| ton about such lands application must
be made to the United States land offices
party wishes to locate.
/ PRIZE MONEY AND MEDALS-G. c
D., and s., City. No prize money has ye
, been distributed to the men who took
part in the naval battle in Santiago July
8, 1898. The matter is still before the
Court of Claims.
+ Medals for men of the United State.
navy who were in the West Indian ser
! vice have not yet been distributed, fol
the reason that they are not ready. Du,
notice of the time and place of distribu
\ ton will be given by the proper authori
Y ties and announcement will also be mad,
r as to place for application for such.
/ NAVAL TRAINING sTATION-A Sub
4 scriber, City A boy between the ages o
i 15 and II may with the consent of parent
= or guardian be enlisted to serve in tn
United States navy until he attains tn
age of 21. One who desires to enlist a
> the naval tYsining station at Goat Islam
o must undergo a physical examination b,
n the medical officer of the ship and mus
Il come up to the following requirements
s At Is, All feet high, 80 pounds weight
# chest measurement, breathing naturally
e q inches; at 1s, feet J inch, 90 pound:
t 2S inches Must be able to read an
write. Must be accompanied at time O
application by parent or guardian En
> listments are made on the Pensacola a
IS Goat Island.
u
's HOTEL DEL CORONADO, choicest vvint.
10 Resort in the world, offers best living clir1at
d boating. bathing. fishing and most anus.