New-York tribune., 1901-10-17
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Among amusing college scrapes told in
1.-THE Ladies' Home Journal IS the story of
certain professor not much liked by his pupils, who
was to be married. His hancee lived in Cleve-
land. The students that loved him not of
course invited: but they determined that in some
way he should hear from them. And he did. On
the day appointed the professor took the train at
10 a. m due to arrive at Cleveland at 1890 p m
About IL o'clock of the tormentors rushed to
the telegraph office and sent off this dispatch:
Chief of Police, Cleveland Man coming train
No. g. tall. well dressed. frock coat silk hat. side
whiskers. Escaped lunatic. Hold. Shrewd, there
fore beware. Strange Will say name Finalli.
Mistake. Thinks he is a professor in a college.
Delusion. Escort to home of friends at No -
Eucd-ave" This message reached its destination
long before train No reached Cleveland, so that
when Professor Finall alighted it to walk
straight into the custody of three detectives. They
would listen to no words of reason but escorted
him out to the house in Euclid-ave., the home of
his intended bride.
Landlady-Our Shakespeare Club is to discuss the
character of Cassius tonight
Bnarder-Did you know Cassius?
Landlady-What question! OF course. not.
Boarder-I didn't know but he boarded here: he
was lean and hungry you know.-(Brooklyn Life
South Australian apples are now sold In European
markets from five cents to ten cents each; choice
ones even higher The apples are packed and
shipped in small, long boxes containing 100 each.
They are wrapped separately in tissue paper and
are packed in wood wool (excesior) and the leaves
of corn husks.
Some girls, when asked to eiope, are like ice. At
first they are cold and repulse you; then they melt
and run away.-(Whitewater (Kan) Independent.
THE Polytechnic School to be founded In Pitts
burg by Andrew Carnegie" says THE Philadelphia
Press as expected to represent investment of
SIT 100000. or this amount the city will have to
pay s40OOOcO for land II It a site of the
qured size and in the desired locality. The build
ing and equipment expected to cost S. 100000
and endowment fund of s,000000 is considered
necessary for the mainter e of the institution
The last two items sl3Oo0,c0 in ALL Mr.. Carnegie,
II is believed, will donate. The city of Pittsburg,
it is expected, will have to have a special act
passed by the legislature empowering the city to
purchase the site and to accept the buildings from
Mr.. Carnegie This is not regarded as difficult"
Women and Cards Bnks-No use playing. cards
with woman. Women haven't the first glimmer
of an idea of honor-no, sir! I've tried it with my
WinksEEh? She doesn't cheat. does she?
Binks-Wel, not exactly; but she might as well
for heT against up certain lot of U P Of mine
that need mending. If she wins she gets the pin
Binks-Wel: every time she wins, she @ demands nS
time the game begsn,-tNew-York Weekly.
1.-THE Scottish American" tells this story Of the
late Provost Fyfe. of Forfarshire:
One day. when he was only a baillie he on
the bench of the Bursh Police Court. The first
case called was that of an old woman. who toddled
into court with the utmost unconcern.
"weel, JAMIE" said the bailie fats brocht yc
here?"
Officer of Court-Please. yer honor she was
caught stealing wood from Balmashanner planta-
tion.
BaiIe-That belangs TO the toon, disn't it?
Officer of Court-Yes. your honor.
Baile-Then things hae come to an awful pass
II we Gamma TAX a backfu' o. sticks frae oor ain
plantins. Gae wa wi ye. man; ye no ashamed
of yerseT? And Janet wumman, whenever ye
want ony mair sticks. Just gang the same gait
and get them. Fats the warld comm tae7
ist?'' 49,,
man who deliberately out the light so that
ne may look on the dark side of things. ."-(Wash-
InGtou Star.