The bee., 1901-09-05
Easle.Eyed IsIsheart Jollies the Boys.


change:
Personally, like the Salt Lake
City (Utah) Herald, and nothing it
can do will destroy my affection for
it's ozonic columns. But l despise
the memory that the said Herald adj
ded to my list of memories, men,
ory of ten wasted minutes spent
snooping through newspaper direc-
tories to find out things about the
newspaper the Herald man had in
his mind when he wrote the catchy
stuff below. OF course there is no
Piute Pioneer. Who ever supposed
there could be? Even if there was,
would it print such poesy as the Salt
Lake paper ascribes to it, thus:l
The Piute Pioneer has changed
hands. The transfer has been
made under the most delightful
and auspicious circumstances pos
sible and the new editor makes
a bow to the public that is a ver-
liable salaan. He opens thus:
"The little editress, who for
the last four years has been the
ruling power of the Pioneer
sanctum, has retired from public
life. A big, bold, selfish man
came and took her. She has done
gone and got married, and this
office, once hallowed by her pres
ence, will know her no more.
We shall miss her. The devil,
who has just pied last weeks
scare heads, chews gum pensively
and swearing Mexican under his
breath, looks dreamily toward
Horse Heaven where she is spend
ing her honeymoon.
"The editorial desk, still redo
lent of Jockey Club and New
Mown Hay, with suggestive
splotches under the lid that tell
of sumptuous wads of gum that
once decorated it, now looms
dimly through the smoke of an
old cob pipe, as the editor sits
with his coat tails in the splttoon
and expectorates abstractedly in
the waste basket. May all good
things of life be hers. May she
reign as successfully in her new
sphere as she has in the old and
WELD that family scepter, the
broomstick, with the same grace
and abandon she once manipu-
lated the paste pot and shears.
"Bless you, my children"
After explaining that he is
by no means a green hand at the
newspaper business the editor
goes on to declare his intentions
in way that shows that there is
plenty of good, hard horse sense
as well as humor behind the cob
pipe. He remarks:
"We hope to publish a live
weekly paper, one worthy of a
place in every home. If it proves
to be such, give us your patron
age and don't expect us to live
on sage brush and atmosphere.
If the paper, after a fair trial,
does not prove to be what we
claim, turn us down. We do not
expect to turn the world upside
down, right every wrong, correct
every evil or run the old uni
verse according to our own ideas
right from the start. We once
cherished various vague hobbies
of that nature, but we have
dropped many of them from time
to time along the devious route
of journalism since that first day
we kicked the press for old Clint
Young in a prairie printing Office
way back in the eighties.
"There shall be no strings on
us, politically, financially or 9TH
erwise. We propose to be inde-
pendent in thought and action,
unless someone comes with a
Gatling and persuades US that
we are wrong.
1--WE shall aim to give you all
the news and devote considerable
time and space to mining, live
stock and industrial interests OF
this region.
"We shall denounce evil and
wrong fearlessly, unless the evil