Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-10-16
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Silicus-Gotrox has a great talent for
making money. Cynicus-That isn't
| talent; it's habit.
Old Lady-Hullo, little boys! Sliding
down hill? Little Boy-Yes'm. Can't
very well slide up it.
| If you can't afford an alarm clock for
every bedroom in the house. let in
| fly or two.-Atchlson Globe.
Finnicus-You can't judge man by
the clothes he wears. Cynnlcus-But
you can by those his wife wears.
His Mamma-oh, Willie. how often
have | told you not to play with thal
wicked boy? Willie He was playing
wifi me.
Cahill-Was the shtrike a success?
Cassdy-It was! Afther being out SIX
weeks we succaded in gittin' back our
| jobs
! Blobbs-You seem to have an un-
pleasant sort of cold. Slobbs-Yes; |
never did have luck enough to get n
pleasant one.
This age demands men who have
| convictions" shouted the mpassoned
| orator. where shall we find themY'
'In the penltentary." replied a man in
the gallery.
Hlbernian Nurse-Arrah, wake up,
wake upi Hospital Patient (drowsilyl
| What Is It? lllbernlan Nurse-lt's
| time for your slaping medicine, sir, SO
| 1t is.-Tlt-Bits.
81 don't see how he can be such n
popular clergyman when he abuses his
congregation so.n easy enough. Ev-
erybody thinks he Is talking about
everybody else Brooklyn Life.
ut sounds funny TO hear you talking
that way. When we were at college
you didn't believe In eternal punish
| ment at ALL" II know, but didn't
have any enemies then" Philadelphia
Press
Schoolmaster-Wh discovered Amer
| lea? No answer Schoolmaster (angri
ly)-Come on, speak up! Who discov-
cred America. Small boy-Pup-pup,
please, sir, it wasn't me!-Boston
| Globe.
Eyes, Mrs. Bouneer wanted 10 send
her daughter to Bryn Mawr but she
| decided on yassar." what influenced
her deeison?" "She couldn't pro
nounce Bryn Mawr."-Phiadelph
| Bulletin.
First Enthusiastic Golfer-l say, will
you play another round with me on
Thursday? Second Enthusiastic Golf
er-Well, I'm booked to be married on
that day-but the ceremony can be
| postponed
"What are you doing now?" I'm
getting out a new style of mirror with
a heavy iron Frame "What's that
J for?" Its for use in stables where
the horses wear bonnets. ."-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
"The secret of happiness is to live in
the present" '"Thats 50; but my wife
is always wanting money for to-mor-
row, and bill collectors, you know,
won't let you forget yesterday.
| troit Free Press.
| Mrs Newife-I acknowledge that |
have my faults and am sometimes
cross, Jack. dear, but If l had the last
two years of my life to live over again
| should marry you just the same. Mr..
| Newfe-I doubt it.
Just think, my boy, that we are
sending thousands of American shin
giles to the Filipinosl' said the proud
American parent. "Hully gee, popw
said the young one; do the Filipinums
have to be licked some T-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
Have you sent your regrets, Doro-
thy?" asked mamma of her little
daughter, who had decided not to go to
a party to which she had been asked. Il
haven't any to send, mamma" answer
ed Dorothy. 81 don't want to go."-ln-
dianapolis News.
do you see that poor dear girl over
there? Her cup of misery is full. Her
love affair has ended most unhappily."
You exaggerate," said Cynicus. Her
cup of misery is not really full, unless
she can't go around telling all about
how it happened. d."-Philadelphia Press.
81 would like to interest you in the
greatest discovery of recent years be-
gan the seedy stranger. 1T is nothing
less than a preparation to extermnate
every fly in creation" Cant interest
u.s." said the proprietor. I'VE manu-
facture horse netting. Where would we
be if there were no flies?' Then per-
haps | can interest your neighborT"
1 mo; he sells wire screens. Chicago
News.
Tommy had been quiet for fully five
minutes. He seemed to be engaged
with some deep problem. Papa" he
said. "WellT "'Do unto others as
you would have others do unto you
that's the golden rule, isn't it, papaf"
''Yes, my SON." "And it's puttickly
right to follow the golden rule, isn't it,
papaY "Yes, indeed" Tommy rose,
went to the cupboard and returned