Evening star., 1901-02-02
NEW MEMBERS IMPRESSIONS.
How Parliament Seems to Those Who
Freshly Make Its Acquaintance.

NEW MEMBERS IMPRESSIONS.
How Parliament Seems to Those Who
Freshly Make Its Acquaintance.
From the London Chronicle
Thank heaven 1 have made no frightful
blunder! 1t is with this uninspiring senti-
| ment that l close my first fortnight in
the house." l have not walked between
the speaker and the gentlemen, 'in pos
session of the house" | have not been
found standing in the house with my hat
on; nor have l been discovered sitting with
it off. l have not read my newspaper in
the house l have not voted in the wrong
lobby. The only serious crime l have
committed is to have sat down at a min
ister's table in the dining room. The
delicacy with which the official asked me,
Are you a minister, sir?" will remain a
sweet memory twenty years hence.
OF the debates of this little session my
most conspicuous impression Is the idea
that time and eternity are, after ALL only
comparative terms. The elaborate manner
in which time is wasted is paralyzing to
a man of an active habit of mind After
that l am lost in amazement at the colossal
assurance of one or two garrulous men,
bers. Given that all the 67Q of us felt that
it devolved upon us to hold forth at the
same length as, say, the honorable men,
Der for-tyou know wherel; certainly the
crack O. doom would be left we'll in the
rear before the thing had finished. I con-
fess l wonder the house toerates people
of this sort. They bring the knowledge of
youthful debating society and the man
ner OF an antediluvian parliamentarian to
every subject under the sun, and dogmat-
ically diagnose the political situation from
China to Peru
how speech begets speech. The right hon
orable the secretary of state for landed
property makes speech tonight. A dozen
metlculous pencils are jotting down thin
drawn d1alecticS. Tomorrow morning the
Times report Is carefully scanned, and the
other morning and evening papers are rap
idly run through for leader comments on the
speech. Tomorrow night, to an array of
empty benches, the army of parliamentary
bores will drearily drivel away by the hour
Away In the smoke room the hardened sim
ner will roll lazily over as the tape creaks
out the name of the speaker, and roll back
again with. There's that shocking ass -
up again." II they do these things in the
green tree, what shall be done In the dry?
Once or twice a f1endsh desire has seized
me to get up and say, as Artemus Ward did
to Congress, Go home you old fools. Go
home and help your wives with the man
gle" But, heaven be praised, 1 resisted the
temptation and indulged in profane silence
instead.
On the other hand, there are men in the
house that are simply great" There is
Tim Healy. He stands there stolid and un-
moved, his hands ciasped behind him-the
orders for the day rolled on to loose spill
between them. In dry, hard, unmusicaI,
monotone he seems to solioquize aloud.
The style is cOnspiculously repellant, except
when now and again, the inevitable touch
of pathos superveneS. But the matter! Dia-
lectically it is from first to last the best
of brilliant mind--epigrammatical, hu
morous, Illuminated. Politically, it Is
from first to last the bitterest of bitter
mind - acid, irreconcilable, impossible.
Tim" was big on texts the other night.
AS he rolled them off L thought of another
that he might well take as his own:
There is none that doeth good no. not
one!'
Then, there is Mr.. Balfour. Where is the
curmudgeon that he cou.u no, uap..d,>.
To speak of his great intellectual distnc-
ton seems almost impertnence; to
dwell on his fine sense Of honor certainly
a supererogation. But he strikes one as
being wholly out of his element In the rush
and turmoil of political controversy. When
occasion demands he cut and thrust
with the best especially when the task is
the defense of a colleague. But 1t is only
momentariiy that you miss the habitual air
of What beastly nuisance all this isl
One would like to see a big and we'll
padded chair of psychological research
founded and Mr.. Arthur Balfour safely
enshrined therein Until I actually see him
at it l shall believe that his prowess at
golf is a pleasant fiction born of the ten
der regard of affectionate friends.
Finally. there Is Joe" Joe is GER
tainly the most nightly interesting of
all. But, so far as 1 concerned, 1t is
distinctly case in which the judgment
must. for the time being, be suspended
Except for the game way he comes up to
time and smiling, he does not prepossess
you. He does not play what foot bailers call
an unsefish game. Directly the "kick-
off, whistle sounds, joe in effect
orders every one else on his side off the
can almost hear him say. And. as matter
Of fact. he does take them on" and
polishes off the job in a perfectly clean,
prompt and effectua1 manner. But should
be surprised to learn that the other play
ers on his side relish the method They
would be more than human If they did.
AS speaker Joe" is forcible and to
the point He does not tumble: he waits
goes like lightning. He assumes an air
of complete disregard for, and even con-
tempt of, rhetorical "effect." Neverthe-
less he is distinctly and cleverly stacy
are that you would never see 1t. But there
Is an acute little monosyllabic chuckle
ways in front of the biting sneer, signifi.
cant pulling up of the shoulders before
the straight lunge home, and a set pose
Of the hands before the deadly parallel.
1t is a fearfully engrossing spectacle; the
rope stretched in the political world
in this country. at any rate. There are
those who, day by day. insist that Master
ICES nasty fHF' will come, Perhaps so.
BUT, mednWnlle, CANNOT Wltnnold q
triputc ut aumraton fer he ski, courage
and resource with which this extraordinary
man turns aside all shafts and confounds
all opponents. What | really would like
to see for the space of one half hour is
'Master Joe" side of the table
and Arthur Balfour on the other. l am
doubtful about the result. But. if it ever
come to pass, may be there to see.
A Fairy In Disguise.
From the Chicago Tribune.
The Waiter girl WAS undeniahIy nretfY