davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
TOLD BY THE GROCER.
His Conversation With a Deaf WOm-
an Lost Him n Customer

'l'll tell you how | lost a good Gus.
man. II have one customer WHO is oX-
tremely deaf, and to make her hear |
have to just yell at her. 1t takes about
half an hour to get her order, and by
tat time my voice is pitched so high
Cat | can't get it down to earth again.
"'lhc other day it happened that aft
cr she left in came Mr. Oldboy. who is
a perfect crank. Was in the army once
and great sticklcr for bowling and
scraping and all that sort Of thing.
Wants a fellow he trades with to sa-
lutte and present arms and do all kinds
of things. He came in and said, Good
morning. wish you had heard me
yell at him. My voice made the win
dows rattle. He looked surprised, but
went on talking to me, and kept up
answering him in a voice that could he
heard a block away. He got madden
and madden. but | never knew what
was up until finally he got red in the
face and said Mr.. Black, sir, am not
deaf sir, and resent your yelling at
me as if couldn't hear a cannon fired
IN my ear With that out he went.
you see, | had been talking to the
deaf lady aud couldn't get my voice
down again. You try it some time and
see if you don't yell at every one you
meet. Funny too, but | always yell ut
blind people and foreigners, and | al
ways whisper when 90 in where any
ones sick. indianapolis Sentinel.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
EW AIS.

One year, $3.50 by mail,
Counts 200 votes
One year, $500 by carrier,
Counts 200 votes
Six m ynths, 75c. by mail,
Counts IS votes
Six months, 81 so by clrrier,
Counts IS votes
Two onths, 25c. by mali,
Counts 25 votes
Two months, SOC. by carrier,
Counts IS votes
STRICTLY NEW SUBSCRIPTIONS.
These must be from families where
the TELEGRAM is not now taken.
Che year, $3.50 by mail
Counts 800 votes
One year, $500 by carrier,
Counts 800 votes
Six months, 75c. by mail,
Co ntS $50 votes
Six months, 81 so by carrier
Counts $50 votes
Two months, Csc by mail,
Counts so votes
Two months, SOC. by carrier,
Counts SO votes
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
1t ONzz'eS The Wo Id,

No Discovery in medicine has ever
created one quarter OF the excitement
that has been caused by DR.. Kings NJ W
Discovery for Consumption. It's severest
tests have been on hopeless victims of
Consumption, Pneumonia, Hemorrhage,
Pleurisv and Bronchitis, thousands of
whom it has restored to perfect health.
For Coughs. Colds Asthma. Ctoup, Hay
Fever, Hoarseness and Whooping Cough
1t it the quickest. SUR st cure in the word.
1t is sold by Perlor Drug Store who guar
antee satisfaction or refund money.
Large bottles soc and sl.00. Trial bottles
free.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
OUR AMBITION
To Send Fifty <opl>'
To Buffalo
At OUR OWN EXPENSE
Bids Fair To Be Realized
In the Present Contest

1t looks now as though the TELE.
GRAMS ambition to send so people 10
tufalo at its own expense would be
realized The list is rapidly growing
as the public is coming to realize
the full meaning Of this remarkable
otfer
1t is probable that all OF our read.
erS have complete understanding OF
the conditions Of the nteSt but In
case they have not it may be well to
say that there is no long drawn out
set Of complicated rules and regula-
ii ms.
In brief it is as follows: - "For
every subscription OF the TELEGRAM
that is presented at this office certiti-
Gates will be issued in manner SINH
lar to that which was adopted during
the Quaker Range contet; for every
years subscription will be given GER
titicate emitting the person whose
name it contains to 800 votes for
every renewal for one yea 200 votes
and or shorter periOds smaller mum.
Der OF votes in proportion according
to the tabulated form below printed.
The person who shall have presented
the largest number Of these votes at
this Office before $ p. m Aug. Ion
vii be given free trip to Buffalo in
the manner above described, that is
free transporia ion and five days enter
tainment at the Al aZar Hotel includ-
ing b Jard and room.
The winner OF this contest Shall
have the privilege Of choosing one
other person to accompany him or
her said persousto 60 t. Buffalo at
the expense of the TELEGRAM in The
the same way
Bu5 this does net end the affair by
any means. The TELEGRAM proposes
to STE that no person who enters the
contest and.takes any interest in the
same shall come out a loser We
therefore make further inducoment
most remarkable and attractive.
Every contestant, outside Of the one
who is victorious who Shall by
oclo OK D. IN August 3lst, 1901, have
turned in 5000 votes will also be
given free trip u huldlO. lncIudlng
transportation and board and room at
the Alcazar Hotel for hive days curing
the Exposition. Ii there are 30 who
take advantage Of this exit aordinary
oler it will please the IN 4nagemeht Of
tie TELEGRAM 50 times more than ii
there is but one. The more the
merrier. Don't say you must stay
at home from the Exposition because
you can't afford TO GO. That would
he ridiculous wien such an offer as
this one is starng you in the face.
During the series Of Quaker Range
contes given last winter the small
est number Of votes presented by
winner was % coo: the largest was
about so, 900 | this contest you
have TO turn in only $4,000 to be
winner. and this means the securing
of the equivalent Of fifty new subscri
berS.
The terms at which the SubScrip-
lions to the TELEGRAM may be Sc
cured and the number Of 70 rs which
each subscription stands for is as fol
OWS.-
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

81 am indebted to One Minute Cough Cure
for my present good heath and my jife
was treated in vain by doctors for lung
trouble following la grippe | took One
Minute Cough Cure and recovered my
health Mr. Z. H. Vie, Madison Ga
Rickert & W ellis. Barre. Wilcox & Gillette
MOretown, w. E. Pc lie East Barre. Vt.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
No'jce To W he's linen.

There's positively no need to endure
disco Mort by reas, OF chafi"g. sun urn,
insect stings. sore and persp ring eet
accidental bruises. You forget these
troubles in using Bucklen's Arntca Salve.
lnfalible for Pimples, Blotches, Shin
Eruptions and Pi es. Sold by Parlor Drug
Store 25C.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

81 believe in being kind to the birds
and all that" said Miss Hankypank.
but do think Clara Deager carries it
too far"
wv hat has she been doing now"
asked the other girl
she refused Harry Sing!eshell be-
,ause somebody told her that when he
went out rowing he always feathercd
ais oars. "-Chcago Tribune.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
a Poor Millionaire

Lately starved in london becane- lie
could not irest h- food Early Use o.
Dr.. Kings Nv Life Pills wouid have
saved him. Tie strengthen The etoma' h
aid d eesJion. promote asslmildti n, I'M
prove appetite Price e5c. NJ nev back
if MT satisfied sold by 'ior Drug
Store.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
A Martyr.

"How can you call old Bogles a mar
tyr to his principles when every one
knows he died of Indigestion"
Exactly. He died because he was
devoted to the principle Of allowing no
doctor on earth to dictate what he
should eat."-Indianapolis Journal.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

"Opportunc" once si@ulhed nothing
more than TO be at the Aarhor.' Az
opportune ship was a ship which had
come to port.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

The royal army clothing factory OF
Great Britain has only two commits
stoned officers, director and doctor.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

Howitzers are steel breechloading
weapons weighing $500 pounds and
having length Of feet 10 inches.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

Russia in Europe has forest area OF
about 5U0.00O,0W acres. One-thlrd OF
the country indeed is forest.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

Builds up IL e system; puts pure. rich
blood in he VI ms: makes . en- and women
strong an. healthy Burdock Blood Bit
ters At any drug store.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
Aggravating.

Mrs. Meddergrass-The postmistress
doesn't seem to like the new professor
Of the school.
Mr.. Meddergrass-No; reckon not.
hered some of the fellers at the store
say he had wrote all his postal cards IN
Latin or some other furrin language
Baltimore American.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve should be
promptly applied to cuts. burns and
scalds. 1t soothes and quickly heals the
injured part There are worthless CO.
unterfeits, be sure to get DeWitts.
Rickert l. Wells, Barre Wilcox Gillette,
Noretown. W. E. Poole East Barre. Vt.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

!, +. easier to keep well than to get cured.
n.Wut's Iitl Early Ri-ers aiken now
and then, viii always keep your bowels
In nartect or e. They never grippe but
- .irlrnote an easy gentle action.
Pirkart & Wells. Barre, Wilcox 4 Gillette,
u1retown, ". L. Poole. East Barre. vt.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

ain what:"
"Eulturc. I've been travelling around
with Mrs. G. and the girls until I'm
getting right refined. But there's one
thing don't think III achieve. | don't
believe I'll ever be able to 90 into an
%ntique store and tell the difference
between brica brac and junk. Wash
ingt0n Star.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17

The slayer wins whether the weap-
pms be Drawn or brains. The best work
Is done by hard work.
You can never cure dyspepsia by dieting:
What your body needs is plenty OF good
food properly digested. hen If your
stomach will not digest it, kodol Dysper
STA Cure will 1t contains ali OF the
natural digestants hence must digest
every class of food and 80 prepare II that
nature can use it in nourishing the body
and replacing the wasted tissues. thus
giving life, health. strength. ambition,
pure blood and good healthy appetite.
Rickert Il Wells, Barre. Wilcox \ Gillette,
Moretown. W. E. Poole, East Barre, Vt.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
True DipIOmuCy,

ptrbead-IIow do you manage to be
60 popular with people!
Dlplomat--It is quite easy. Instead
If irving to show the people | meet
how, much | know, ] make il clear to
them how much they know Stray
Stories,
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
His Limit.

"I'm getting along" said Mr. Cum
rox. I'm progressing slowly, but
surely"
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-17
LIABILITIES
S6SS,3337.90
DIE FL TORS

VI. Perry v. A Boyce, B. W. Braley
j. ueary h~an, +, q. Rowland.
l,e.lse Rowland.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
origin OF st. va,ent,ne.. D.v.

The origin Of st, Valentines day is
obscure. Saint Valentine was a'priest
of Rome, who was martyred in the
thirdfcentury. Doucee says that it was
the practice in, ancient Rome, during
q. great part Of February, to celebrate
efeasts in honorsof Pan and Juno. At
these times, amid many ceremonies,
THE snames Of young women were put
into box, from which they were
drawn by men. The pastors Of the
early church. striving to eradicate pa,
gan superstitions, often substituted the
festival @of some Christian saint for:
that OF heather: deity. In this case
they probably chose that Of st. Valen-''
tine, Witch occurred at nearly tie
same time. but though the name Of
the day became Christian, relics OF the.
old pagan ceremonies still cling to H.
Indianapolis News. s5s5 III I;
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19

toms, and no woman should allow
herself to reach such a perfection of
misery when, there is absolutely no
need of it. The subject of our por-
trait in this sketch, Mrs. Williams of
Englishtown, Nj, has been entirely
cured Of such illness and misery BY
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, and the guiding advice of Mrs.
Pinkham of Lynn, Mass.
No other medicine has such a record
for absolute cures, and no other mcdi-
cine is s'just as good" Women who
want a cure should insist upon getting
Lydia E. Pinkha1n's Vegetable Com
pound when they ask for it at store.
Anyway, write a letter to Mrs. Pink
ham at Lynn, Mass, and tell her all
your troubles. Her advice is free.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
,LETTERs FROM BABYLON.

British Museum Contains Kingly Epi tiles
of 1890 Years Ago.
Two series of curious Babylonian
tablets have recently been placed in
the Assyrian room of the British mu-
scum. The characters inscribed about
2400 B. G. on the first series give lists
Of measurements and statistics Of a
number of estates. They have been
drawn up with care that indicates
they formed part of large survey OF
the countrys cultivable land, and
doubtlessly formed the data upon
which the system Of taxation employed
by the kings and priests was based.
It is strange that the Babylonians, who,
like the Egyptians. had no deep the
oretical knowledge of arithmetic and
mensuration, should so readily have
made these very practical calculations.
The system by which they dated the
tablets was peculiar. Each year was
called after some Important event that
had taken place in it. Butfas in time
this system proved cumbrous, it was
superseded by another, in which the
regnal years of the king were used
The second series comprise the Oldest
group Of Babylonian letters known
I These tablets were Enclosed in clay en-
velopes, and addressed by kings to
high officials. Both the letters and
envelopes were baked, being prevented
from sticking together by powdering
the tablets with fine clay. In style
terse, but generally clear, the letters
contain orders referring to matters
of social administration. One DEGREES.
that an intercalary month be Insert
ed In the calendar; while another re-
fer IS to the punishment Of hribed Of
sflcials. a stranger at the ruseum said
they resembled dog biscuits.
Express.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
l60-Acre Farm Free
IN MANITOBA CANADA

Why pay rent for a farm when you can
obtain l6U acres OF the choicest lands on the
continent for grain growing stock raising or
mixed farming free, or purchase Government
OF railway lands near railway stations and
towns at from $500 to S.. GU per acre on the
ten-year installment plan. Manitoba is the
nearest province in Western Canada to the
Great Lakes and has a complete system OF
railways: four competing lines run to the
East, consequently cheap freight rates which
assures the farmer the full value for all he
bushels Of wheat and $1,000 head OF cattle
and $ouO 900 worth OF dairy produce in 1899
Good schools and municipal system. Low
j. D.. ClLLlES, Agent Government OF
Manitoba, Canada, l67 East Third street. St.
Paul, MINI, ,f.r1-,--.,ss~,s 80,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
q E,TllI lvAoAsc &C III no u,

Toe IattisI EI!so.lsny 81 People OF smali
There u too little economy at home.
People should I've Moderately II their
income Ii small. IN the last Good
housekeeping. Edith Dickson 4 talks
very sensibly on extravaganza In the
home ss III I. 5.8.,g u 4 ES 5s,55
The widest range in the estimate Of
twenty families was found in the table
expenses. On incomes Of from $1,000
TO 1000, two or three families Of three
persons each reckoned their table ex-
gpenses at IS a week. One family Of
two adults and two children gives 326
q month az. as the average cost of their
table during the year. In other fami-
lies OF the same size and income, table
expenses are computed at from $40 to
800 a month. There is no other de-
'partment Of household expenditure
which requires so much constant care
and good management as the provid-
Ing for the table. In an impromptu
symposium Of a dozen women upon the
subject Of domestic fnances,it was de-
cided that out Of an income Of 81, 600,
$500 should be allowed for incidentals,
including savings, benevolence, life
insurance premiums, etc. Some fami-
ilise having this salary do better. l
!, know nov Of two or three cases where on
this income about $500 a year is saved,
leaving $1,000 for the total family ex-
penses. An ideal division has been
suggested by Mrs. Ellen Richards for
different incomes. On $4,000 year for
family Of two adults and two or
three children the proposed expendi-
lures is as follows: Food, $500;
rent, $500; fuel, wages, ETC., $500;
clothes $500; higher life, savings, etc.,
$500. The last head must be under
stood to include incidentals such as
amusements travelling expenses, books,
etc. On $1,000 a year. for family Of
the same size, the allowance for food
is $500; rent, 5000; clothes, $3.50; fuel,
wages, ETC., $10o; higher life savings,
etc., $3.50. Whether, rent needs to be
so much as the allowance here, made
depends entirely upon the locality. Out
side of the large cities it should be
less. Many families of five or six
with $4,000 year spend less than $500
for food. Another housewife testifies
that her husbands salary amounts to
1899 year: There are three in the
family and their expenses are as fol-
lows. Rent, $216; fuel, SIS; table
1925; the remaining 1923 covers cloth
ing, church contribution of $40, life in.
surance, and all other incidentals.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
DO YOU FEEL LIKE THIsP
Pen Picture for Women.

II am so nervous, there 10 not q
we'll inch in my whole body. am 20
weak at my stomach and have indi-
gestion horribly, and palpitation Of
the heart, and am losing flesh. This
headache and backache nearly kills
me, and yesterday nearly had hyster-
les !. there is a weight in the lower part
of my bowels bearing down all the
time. and pains in my groins and
thighs; l cannot sleep, walk, or Sit,
and believe / am diseased all over !;
no one ever suffered as do"
This is a description of thousands Of
cases which come to Mrs. Pinkhams
attention daily. An infamed and ul-
cerated condition of the neck of the
womb can produce all Of these symp-
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
MOSS for Purify,n : svrun.

Besides the thousands Of pounds ,of
Spanish moss sent annually from Flor
ida and other Southern states 10
Northern upholsterers, the plant has
various other uses. One OF these, q
use that has recently been discovered,
80 that Of q strainer and purifier st
cane syrup. It has been found that 8
ifnr syrup cen BIZ made sby straIhing
the cane Juice through Il moss than
through any other material. VI
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Necessity for a General standard.


In the creation of bureau of stand
ards, this country has taken a for
ward step. Up to the present we have
had to verify our instruments in Ger
many, but now that we have a bureau
of our own, we will be able to rely on
ourselves. What would still further
help things would be the national
adoption Of a reasonable system OF
weights and measures, such as the
metric system. Until that is done, we
shall have great difficulty and confus-
ion in the standardization Of measures
Take, for instance, the bushel measure
that is used for wheat. 1t differs in
various states between points twenty
pounds apart. There is variation in
other measures. and until one standard
is arranged for we shall always have
trouble.-Philadelph Inquirer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19

SAhWoman's idea Of being nice TO an
other woman u TO kiss her and say,
"Oh. how lovely that new hat is!''
when she knows abe has had II : year.:
View York Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Tho Twentieth / Con tur !,

LIST, 1901, and will end with 1000. People
did not begin to reckon time from A. D. 1,
but waited until about the 55Oth year Of
the Christian era. People who begin to
take the great health restorative, Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters. Immediately after
the hrst outbreak Of dyspepsia, malaria
rheumatism, constipation, nervousness or
'kdneyI trouble will date their cure Inn
mediately from them. 59E3i Y
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Covert Insult.

Really. you seem depressed" said
the chief inquisitor of the club.
Should say I ann answered the eff
fusive man. "You would be depressed
yourself if you had gone and married
your cook and had her take it as re-
Election because you bought her one Of
those pancake hats as a wedding ami
versary ent."-Indianapolis Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
What DO the ch,ldren pr,nk,

Don't give them tea or coffee. Have you
tried the new food drink called GRAIN-O7
1t is delicious and nourishing, and takes tho
place of coffee. The more Grain o you give
the children the more health you distribute
through their systems. Grain-O is made of
pure grains, and when properly prepared
tastes like tho choice grades of coffee but
costs about Il as much. AL grocsrs sell It.
15c and 25c
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Doubtful.

ss Doubtful.
First Crony-Let me see, didn't
Strickland marry one of Old Smiley's
girls?
Second Crony-Yes.
First Crony-By the way, though,
isn't Smiley dead?
Second Crony-He was the last l
heard of him.-Judy.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
ProYinr q TAeorx,

Yablsy-Do you. think there Is any
thing in the theory that business wor-
ries can sometimes cause complete
loss Of memory?
Mudge-Yes. know is works that
way in my case. The more I borrow
money, the more treacherous my mem
DRY becomes.-Indianapo Press. s.s@
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19

Necessary AroIogy. s55
He-Newlywed - always talking
about his wife's money.
She-That's very strange.
Not so very. You just ought to see
her."-Smart Set.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
CITY Eeller,s Adxnnta

- C1ty TpIItFH NUVnntNNe.
That there farm" said the driver,
ION the off SIDE. belongs to Teller in
town that runs it for his health"
"How does he get along?" asked the
drummer.
ooh, bout IS wells the rest of us,
only he don't have to buy no gold
bricks to come out loser, like we do
indianapolis Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Poor Old Coal,

"Bugley claims that he has more So
cial engagements than he can FILL,
Does he really shine in society?'' 8}
"Oh, yes. Didn't you ever see that
dress coat Of his? There never, was
another SO shiny as that."-Philadel-
phia Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19

Mrs. Wlnsiow's soothing Syrup. Z
dsmmation. allays pain. cures wind collie Csc bottle
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Romnnce n In Mode.

II shall be at the opera tonight"
wrote. st can bear the suspense no
longer. If you love me, wear a red
rose. If may no longer hope, then let
it be a white rose"
That night she wore a yellow rose
Smart Set.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
Giving It q Marie

Il see that the brother Of kansas
5iyncher who started the fire under a
negro victim. has recently married a
colored. gill. Queer, isn't ~
~. IS wouldn't call II queer. I'D call 1t
spoetical Justice Cleveland II Plain
Dealer. / !, NJ 4. ~:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19
The Irony of Fate

There is the irony of fate" in the
fact that Rear Admiral Cervera got his
promotion to be vice admiral in adj
vance of either Sampson or Schley,
whose ships destroyed his aeet.-New
York World.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-04-19

Tam sure Piso's cure for Consumption saved
nv life three years ago-Mrs. THos. RoBB1Ns,
Maple Street. Norwich. N Y. Feb. II. 1900.