The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1901-03-16
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men at all IL Is likely to be with
sigh OF pity. Poor things!" we
say. What q time they must have
even II the law says they may have
husband apiece when there are
enough to go round.'- Naturally they
must be happier when their husbands
are restricted from marrying any more
girls, each one younger than the last;
for oddly enough, the revelation does
not seem to come that a man must
have a middle aged and faded woman
sealed unto himself when there are
young and blooming ones in the vicin-
ity.
For to the women at least Mormon
ism is surely a religion and what is
a woman without some religion, how
ever feeble her hold upon It may be?
lf she believes hard enough in the rev.
elation OF Mormon that plurality OF
wives Is important In the scheme of
salvation. the mere fact of having an
undivided husband is not as unmixed
blessing as perhaps 1t seems to us
whose religion takes a different course
so the Mormon woman probably has
her troubles even If polygamous Mr.
Roberts was frowned upon and told
to go and stand in the corner, other
wise Utah.
That they are looking for more
trouble is evident from an item in a
salt Lake Mormon paper which is a
unique and daily visitor to this office.
These women yearn for more bother.
apparently thus for having been free
from some that affiicts their so-called
more enlightened sisters of the east,
their yearning takes the form of
desire for parliamentary dexterity.
They have suddenly decided that II
would be well i'm their phianthropic
sessions and club meetings IL they had
some knowledge of parliamentary
rules.
Now in this end of the world there
Is a growing suspicion that some of
our women know entirely too much
about parliamentary rules. For in
stance there was that convention of the
Daughters of the American Revolution.
The more parliamentary usage they
Welded In the recent sessions at
washington the worse they scrapped.
the more fearful were the eyes, the
more complete was the nerve collapse.
| Finally they fell to scratching and al
| most kissing and splitting like so many
| ''ft" and bled and died In the Revolu-
| ton. Possibly the foreiathers of some
| of the scratchiest ones were common
farm hands, or wood choppers. when
| that alarm from Lexington rang out.
| There surely couldn't have been off,
| GERS enough to give title to all these
! sputtering pin wheely women who con-
! tinue the fitting" today. Perhaps IL
these daughters knew or used a little
| less parliamentary effect they might
be more civil and less envious, ar
rogant and assertive.
But to return to our muttons, or
rather to our Mormons; these good
| intentioned women have suddenly de-
Veloped longing to be able to say
Madame President" at the correct
| time and to abuse each accorGing II
the polite rules laid down by Cushing
or some other well meaning but tire
some person. Perhaps they have been
| reading about the ID. A. II. and can see
| certain advantages in similar pro-
| iiciency. The funniest part of the
! whole procedure is that they pro-
| ceed to quote Joseph Smith, who
is said to have declared in. favor of
observing parliamentary rules when
he formed his first series of seraglios
| at Nauvoo. So the dear Mormon wo-
| men have voted in certain society
meeting to appropriate a sum of money
| toward taking ten lessons in parlia-
| mentary usage, naively warding off
| any problematical adverse criticism by
| the explanation that their religion
teaches the belief that "all knowledge
gained on earth makes each more
fitted to enjoy the blessings of heaven"
Now, just how knowledge of parlia-
mentary rules is going to give any
peculiar fitness to Mormon lady to
participate in the joys of the better
| land needs a diagram to explain.
To Judge by the way some women
use their parliamentary knowledge on
earth, there will be no urgent demand
for Its privileges in heavenly spheres
There are some organizations Of wo-
men that make about as much use OF
parliamentary rules as they would
| OF the resplendent cuspidors in the
state senate. Not that these two are
to be compared, only to illustrate the
utter absence of even the most formal
| regulations. / know Of one organiza-
tion which probably has done more
| good in the course of its history than
half the women's clubs in the land
considered together, and in strenuous
| moments the members are apt to all
talk at once more or less vociferously
| They do not address the chair in par
ticular, but everybody and each other
In general. Instead of saying Madame
President they are prone to preface
their remarks with II think thus or
| hal a.
be a good plan?" etc, and they vote
hit or miss and make and unmake
| amendments in the frankest, most un-
conventional fashion. and the presi-
dent beams mildly and placidly on
them all, and deftly leads them back
to the point and finally and lastly they
are sure to agree like so many cuddling
kittens, and to go trotting off blithely
and amiably to their several homes
Not that this is an argument against
the use OF parliamentary rules; quite
the contrary. / have no sort of doubt
that If the organization in question
had all these years conducted it's de-
itberations according to Cushing or
something equally didactlc In ideas,
much valuable time might have been
saved and more than one mistake, the
result OF careless methods, might have
been avoided, but l do question
whether the beautiful relations. the
amicable, broad-minded consideration
each for the other in these many care
worn years, the gentleness, the unaf-
fected heart interest in the work
would have been always placed first.
For some occult reason the martinez
like application which women are apt
to make Of parliamentary rules seems
the source of endless discord and bick-