Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

nike TO make somepody feel awful bad,
chr
'That'ssit, and Mrs. OiSullivan was
flattened out like a pancake. 1t wasn't
ten minutes before she was boxing the
children's ears and calling a woman a
Har from her front window. She would
have made up with the colored woman
In order to get dig at the countess.
but the BARRIERS wife wouldn't have
It For q whole day and a night the
dago was cock of the walk, and il was
a great condescension on her part TO
look at any one of US. Her end was
comong, however. The BARRIERS wife
wasn't going to swallow all that with
out kick, you see. 1t was her turn
yesterday morning, and I'll be hanged
IL she didn't rake in the pot in style
after my own heart. O'Sullivan was
around looking for a scrap and the
countess was pafading the halls with
five foot train on her dress when
dandy carriage drove up, an outrider
blew blast on bugle, and a page
got down and came up the steps and
said:
"If the Lady Gawge DE Koven Tor
rington, late of the West Indies, am
living here, would like speech with
her.
GOOD Lord, but he means the nay
gur!' exclaimed Mrs. O'Sullivan as she
had to sit down for the weakness in
her knees.
Who wanta niger folks, Ell o.
shrieked the dago as her promenade
turned to a limp.
"The BARRIERS wife was on the watch
and she came down stairs with the
light of triumph in her eyes and never
turned hair while The page told her
| that an uncle in the West Indies mad
| died and left her million dollars and
that she was expected to go over and
claim it as soon as possible. She had
| the call, Mr.. Wasserman, and you
| ought to have seen them two women
wilt. They have been as quiet as mice
ever since, but they are getting on 70
| the racket"
"She don't hat some million dollars
und a dead uncle, eh?" Queried the
grocer.
"Of course not, and the row isn't go
ing to end there. Early this morning
Mrs. O'SuHivan told me that one OF
her children was down with the
mumps. The countess and the bar
ber's wife overheard her, and it wasn't
ten minutes before the dago comes to
me to say:
"'What you think now, Ell? We
gotta de measles in our house.
THAT was to top the O'Sullivans
mumps, you understand, but there was
third party yet to hear from. l was
on the third floor with my asthma,
my heart disease and giddiness when
the BARRIERS wife came out to say:
''Befo' de Lawd, Mr.. Sprocket. IL !
| doan' dun believe my Linda has got
de whoopin' cough, and If she doan
stop DRAWN up her shoulders I shall!
send fur two doctors an de ambu-
Last night MoMurphy came around
to see about the bell on the front DOR,
which the children had yanked out by
the roots, and after little talk he
says to me:
hear you've got duchess, couu-
tess and lady in the house?'
1.-The same says I, and I was 60
ing to ask you if we shouldn't raise
the rent of the royal flats about so per
cent?
II don't think we should he says,
with laugh. No. Let 'em play it
out, Mr.. Sprocket, and don't take sides
with any one. while they are hurting
each others feelings we are saving
window glass and plaster. and the
three OF them are forgetting 10 ask RE
to put up awnings at So a window
"vhell, I don't say much" observed
the grocer as the janitor finished his
tale. but 1t seems to me dot il vhas
some peoples saw some wood und
keep quiet and don't say nottings to
nopody und vhas all right"