Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-01-20
MODERN FABLES
8x HDoERGm ABE
The odern Fable Of SpingfeIds Faest Flower and LONE
some Agnes, Who Was Crafty
8x GEoRGH ADE.
Copyright, 1901. by Robert Howard Russell,

Siren of Springfield, and it was too
Early to go Home, one or two of the
Young Men would drift over to pay
little Attention to Agnes. Here was
the chance for Agnes to make the
Mistake of her Life. But she never
asked them, oh, so Bitterly, if they had
been to see Maize first, and she never
made any of these unwelcome Cracks
about being Second Choice. She re-
ceived them with the long Hand Clasp
and the Friendly Smile, and threw
herself to Entertain them, voting well
that now and then a Girl must pocket
her Pride and she Laughs Best who
postpones her laughing until after
the bans have been Published.
INSTEAD Of seeking to undermine the
UncrCwned Queen Of Springfield and
put the okids under her and call at
tention to her Specifically and Bad
Speeding and all that, she lauded Maize
to the Skies. She asked the Boys if
they did not think that Maize was q
Dashing Beauty and by far the Swell
est in Town, and was 1t any Wonder
that the whole Crowd was Dotty about
her. When she talked like that the
Beaux who had not been making much
Roadway with Maize, on account of
the Terrific Competition, were inclined
to Demur and say that Maize was I'M
questionably an Artist on the Makeup
and a Caution when it came to Co
quettish Wiles, but there were Others
just as Nice. Some of them said that
the Maize Game was being worked too
hard.
In this Town of Springfield there
was a Steady Young Fellow who wrote
Junior after his name, and was Pros
pective Heir to an Iron Foundry. He
was Foolish about Maize for quite a
Spell, but when he went up to see her
and try to make it worth her Time to
look him over the Door Bell kept ring
ing, and he found that instead of con-
Quoting a Courtshio he was simply
getting in on a Series of Mass Meet
ings. So he took to dropping over to
see Agnes, and found that he was the
Whole Thing. She treated him Kind
ly and never disagreed with him except
on one Point. Whenever he would
say that Maize was getting the Big
Head and put on too many Frills to
suit him, and had been Spoiled by hav-
ing so many on her Staff at one time,
Agnes would stick up for her Friend,
and say that she could hardly blame
any Man for giving in to the Superla-
tive Charms OF One who had Julia Mar
lowe and Cleopatra set back and wor-
ried.
She kept that talk going until he
was good and tired of having Maize
dingdonged at him. One Evening he
stopped her right in the middle of an
Eulogium and suggested that they let
up on the Maize Topic and talk about
Themselves for a while And although
she Protested, he convinced her thNt
she was worth a Ten Acre Field full
/ of MaZies.
! So they were Married and went to
Niagara Falls and came Home and'still
Maize remained Single. She was sup
! posed to be several Notches too High
/ Up for any One Man in Springfield.
: After getting such Job Lots of Adula-
I ton and having at least six pulsating
Courtiers keeling on her Sofa Pillows
every Evening it would have been a
Tame Let Down for her to splice up
! with one lone Business Man and settle
/ down to dull Existence in some
/ Apartment House. So it came about
! that there was a General Impression
/ in Springfield that Maize was the Unat-
tainable. She was a kind of Public
Character to be Idolized, but not re-
moved from the Pedestal. The dis
! couraged Suitors fell away one by one,
and married the ordinary 1S-Carat
Girls who were willing to Play Fair
! and not keep the Applicants dangling.
Maize took up with new Generation
and seemed to believe that she could
reign Forever. the same as the Elm
Queen in the Fairy Story.
/ But the Peach Crops come and go.
After few Years Mazies Door-Bell
did not Tinkle with its whliom fire.
quency, and right down the Street
there was a Seventeen Year-Older who
had shot up out of Short Dresses like d
Willow Sprout, and it was her Picture
that went into the Special illustrated
Edition as Springfeld's Fairesl laugh
ter
Maize saw that the Vernal Season
had passed and the Harvest Time was
at Hand, so she decided to chop the
Philandering and pick one out for
heepS. DuI WueH Sue DeSdH 10 eucOur-
age the Eligibles they took it to mean
that she was prolonging the same old
String Game. The Men who knew that
she had turned down at least Fifty fig
ured that there was no Possible Chance
for them, so they were Leery and
/ would not be led into Committing
themselves. Besides, Maize had been
handed around by so many that she
was beginning to be Graded as Second
Hand, and there was not the same keen
Anxiety to capture her tina: there had
\ been along about the Year of the
Worlds Fair.
! AT last Accounts she was supposed to
be Guessing. Agnes is doing Nicely,
with well broken Husband.
MORAL:-Cheer Up, Girls.