davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24

Away.
ton"
you vhas a VILLAIN" I says, "und I
shall gift you some grand bounce to
do you good"
| hit dot man on der chin und pull
his hair und boot him. and he don't
fight back. In one hour I know he
vhas all right, und dot package vhas
sole leather, und if l don't gif him
sefen dollar l vhas in state prison for
life. When l see dot little tailor, l
blows him oop, but he laughs und
says:
IF you can't tell somepody from
somepody, you had better hang your
self"
l don't speak to him any more for
two weeks, but one day he comes in
my shop und says:
Hans, if you vhas a peesness man
you get your life insured. If you don't
hat some money to leave to your wife,
she must go by der ~poorhouse when
you die"
Dot makes me think. In two days a
man comes in und says he vhas life in
surance. He shows me papers und
books. und i vhas sooch a healthy man
und don't get drunk und try und stop a
trolley car dot he insures me for two
t'ousand dollar und charges me only
three dollar a year. Dot vhas good for
me, und he asks me if my grandmother
weighs two hoonered pounds, looks at
my tongue und pokes my ribs, und in
two months | vhas insured und happy.
In two days some other man comes in,
und after he looks around he says:
"Vhell, cobbler, l vhas sorry for you,
but after you vhas in America for ten
years nopody can beat you like dot"
How vhas I beat?" / says.
Don't sonepody NM here TO insure
your life?"
Yes"
"Vhell, I vhas sorry to tell you dot
you vhas swindled. Dot mar vhas no
life insurance. He only drives some
express wagon und gets drunk on your
moray. If you go oudt und vhas killed
by a butcher cart, your wife don't git
so much ash one turnip."
But how vhas he?" / says
'FShust like dis: l vhas some life in
surance, der oldest company, der most
capital, der biggest dividends. Nit me
you vhas ash safe ash two brick houses
on a mortgage. If you die. we break
our necks to hurry oop und gif your
widow one t'ousand dollar. Don't be
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24

1867, Jared Burton, a single man of 30,
living in a village in Iowa, started by
railroad for a town 80 miles distant,
and he has not returned to his home
and relatives since. He was a man in
more than comfortable circumstances,
and his mother and sister lived with
him. Boy and man, he had lived in
the village for 20 years when he set out
that day on a business matter. When
several days had passed without his
return or word from him, inquiries
were made. He had arrived at the
town all right, transacted his business
and then taken a train on another
road. 1t was thought he had gone
away in the company of a stranger, but
no one could be sure of this. After ten
days and still no word he was advertis-
ed for, and detectives were employed
to hunt him up. The search was not
given UP for three months, and then it
was believed that he vas dead.
A year had gore by and the mystery
was still unselved when one day Jared
Burton returned-that is, he said he
was Jared Burton, and the question
of whether she vas or not brings out
this stery. On leaving the train he
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
The Little Tailor Gives Him Some
Advice AbOut Sharpers.

Copyright, 1901, by c. B. Lewis.)
1 hat some gas meters put into my
cobbler shop to make him a swell
place, und she vhas in only six days
when a man ONE in und locks at her
NIT a candle und says:
"Vhell, cobbler, | take feefty cent
from you for gas"
l paid him, und he goes AWAY, but
in n week another nan comes in
shust der same way und says dot bill
vhas As cent und he must collect. l
paid him, und he says all right und
goes AWAY, but in three days dot third
man comes in und says der gas bill
vhas seexty cent. [ don't see how she
vhas, und don't vhant to pay, but he
points his finger at me und yells oudt:
IF you don't pay, oudt comes dot
meter, und l you nine times"
Dot scares me, und l pay, but | go 20
dot little tailor und tells him about it
und ask him how she vhas.
Hans, you vhas some chumps," he
says. "Nopody comes for der gas bill
but once a month. Dose chaps vhas
some s%harpers. und you vhas swindled.
bu. if any more comes you shall gia
EN- der boot"
Well. dot vhas all right, und l go
AWAY und sat down in my shop. No
pody m for ten days, und den a
man walks in nit a candle und looks
dot meter in der eye und says:
"Cobbler. 1 hat to make dot bill for
1000 feet dis month"
Dot vhas all X. o." | says ash
stands oop, 'und l hat to kick you ten
| times for a swindler!"
| gif him some boots. und he goes
AWAY, but in two hours a lawyer
comes und says it shall cost me SIC
for kicking der gas man. | sends for
dot little tailor, ind he comes und
says:
"Of course. What a fool you vhas,
You don't do nottings TO some swim
dlers, but when der honest man comes
you kick him. lou vhas a lucky man
to get oudt of it for SO"
Some other day a man N into
my shop NIT a package und a book.
und he calls oudt:
Was dis Hans. der German cob
| bler?"
She vhas," / says.
"All right. Sign dis book und gil
me 10 cents for a package from Chicago
by express"
He gets his money and scss avhay,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24

complete change of popular opinion,
and Jared Burton, was complimented
on all sides. The mother and sister
fully accepted him, and he settled down
into his place unquestioned. Three
months had gone by, and the talk and
wonder had all died out when a blind
mar came along one day. He was
known in various villages as "Old
Hanson" He sang songs, told for
tunes and performed tricks and was
we'll liked. Standing on the public
square with a crowd around him, he
sang songs and then asked if Jared
Burton was among the spectators. ia
red stepped forward and the old man
took him by the hand. 1t was his
boast that, having once heard a mans
voice and shaken hands with him, he
could forever identify him by the feel
of his palm.
This is not Jared Burton!" he ex-
claimed as he let the hand fall.
But it is" chorused a dozen voices.
But | say it is not. 1t is not his
hand. | never met this hand before"
You will believe it is Jared Burton
when I tell you so, won't your" asked
Jared.
mo. You cannot deceive me on the
palm. You are a stranger to me-"
There had been an investigation and
an acquittal, but yet the blind mans
words set people to thinking, especially
as Jared himself seemd to be greatly
put out. The whole question would
have been reepened again but that he
started Off for Chicago next day or
what he claimed was a matter of bust
ness. He had a close shave of it. He
hadn't been gone two hours when a
sheriff from a distant county came to
arrest him as one of a gang of land
stealers and counterfeiters. He was
followed, but not overhauled. His real
HdIuC WdS Sudllto WIH5HI. III w WndC
became of the true Jared Burton no
one can say, but he doubtless met his
death in some way through falling
into the hands of the gang. He had
papers with him, but how they got him
talk and give the Incidents of his
life cannot be understood. 1t was a
curious thing that another man should
so closely resemble him and should
bear the same scars. but it was a fact
not to be got over. The blind man and
the sheriff declared the man to be a
cheeky imposter, and the later fur
nished plenty of proofs, but the ques-
tion has not been settled yet and per-
haps never will be. l passed a day in
the villaege not long ago, and | found
the people about evenly diviued as to
whether the true Jared had not actu-
ally returned and been driven off
again.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24
Not So Far Gone.

Omaha World-Herald.
The last letter he received from
wiley conveyed the intelligence that
she was quit sick, and of course no
was considerably worried. But he
was comforted by the fact that shc
was with her mother. Hs wrote her
an affectionate letter and told her To
be sure and let him knew n she grew
worse. The next letter conveyed the
intelligence that she was a little
worse, though the doctor said 1t was
nothing serious. But he worried a
great deal.
Yesterday afternoon a Western
Union boy sauntered into his Office
with the usual n~onchalance OF a mes
senger boy conveying a rush mes
sage and showed the book under hub
Iby's nose.
els dis Mr.. Blank?" asked the boy.
~'Yes," gasped hubby. cold chills
chasing up and down his spine.
Message fr you. Sign here. Do
charges is so cents
Hubby grabbed the fateful manila
envelope and hastily tore 1t open.
What he suffered while tremblingly un-
folding the bit Of yellow paper can be
imagined, but not described. He was
almost afraid to read. but finally he
nerved himself for the worst. This is
what he read:
Turn of the water and don't forget
to give the bird plenty Of seed"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24

80 A4'De- nVDtAs tH
Shakespeare from Dan Rice and if you
attended a country school where the
teacher put Nero, Socrates, Queen Vic
ttoria and Dan Mahoney into a bag to-
| gether, you are not exactly to blame for
it. but it seems as if you might have
picked up a few things since marrying
me. l have no doubt that every other
woman on this block knows all about
BE Rubini's wonderful works, master
pieces of the divine art"
Nothing further was said, but on the
mex evening, just as dinner was con-
cfuded, the doorbell rang, and a dark
faced, long haired man whose breath
smelled of fresh roasted peanuts and
who had CRIME on his nose entered the
hall. He bore a large oil portrait of a
man dressed in ancient costume, wear
ing a cooked hat and a sword and look
ing as if he were out for a barrel OF
blood.
.'Signor Bowser," said the peanut
man, u hat broughta de picture to
maka you happy"
Mr.. Bowser handed him over several
greenbacks and bowed him out and
1ugged the painting back to Mrs. Bow
ser in the sitting room. He placed a
chair against the wall, placed the pic
ture on the chair and then stood back
with a chuckle and said:
You asked who De Rubini was. Be-
hold himi"
The cat dropped of the lounge, took
a square look at the portrait and then
discretly retired a few feet to be out
of the way OF the flying splinters.
so that's De Rubini sitting down to
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24

und when open dot package she vhas
only some cabbage head. l goes by
dot little tailor und tell him, und ne
says:
"Vhell, l neffer see sooch hayseeds.
Can't you tell some swindlers when you
see him? If somepody else comes NIT
a package, you shall gif him der grand
bounce"
Where vhas dot Hans, der cobbler?"
Right here" says l.
"Vhell, you sign dis book und gif me
feefty cents for a package from Bos-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24

claimed as He Let the Hand Fall.
met Squire Danforth and shook hands
with him and asked after the mother
and sister. Farther up the street he
met a village merchant and shook
hands and la%ughingly said that he had
been east in search of a wife. He
walked to his house, entered and call
ed to the family and kissed mother
and sister and a~pologized for having
worried them as he had. He had the
age, height, look and voice of Jared,
as such. The story he told was a queer
one. He had gone to look at a lead
mine with a view of buying, and dur
ing the short time he was left alone
he had tumbled down an old shaft. He
knew no more after that until he sud
denly came to himself one day in a
town in Kansas and found himself a
tramp. The fall had produced concus-
sion of the brain, and, though treated
by doctors, he had lost his memory
and his identity and only recovered bis
wits when a constable banged his
head against a door in arresting him.
He had told his story, found friends
and been assisted to reach his home.
The story passed all right with the
women for a day or two, but as it got
around the village and was discussed
pro and con bhey began to doubt. Of
the five doctors in town four declared
the thing impossible. Of the 1900
Inhabitants not more than ten were
satisfied of the truth of the story. The
matter spread until two or three coun-
ties were interested and a dozen news
papers were discussing it, and first
and last a good many people had their
say about it. The first idea, of course,
was to test this Jared Burton's memo
ry about the events of his life. 1t was a
great point in his favor that he had
recognized two or three citizens at the
moment Of his arrival and that later on
he had met dozens of others and made
no mistake except in one instance. He
had seemed thoroughly familiar with
the house and with certain business
matters. and while he did not write
as free a hand as formerly it passed
for Jared's c~hirography. He had with
him the key of his desk; he asked after
certain clothing he had left; he casual
ly recalled various Incidents, and he
had settled down as the lost re-
turned when he learned that his iden-
tity was questioned. He promptly de-
manded the fullest and closest investi-
cation, and the doubters were ready to
make it.
In his boyhood days Jared Burton
had received a burn on the foot. leav-
ing a bad scar. This man exhibited
the scar. Jared Burton had been bitten
on the calf of the leg by a dog. Here
was the sea- of the bite. He had once
been near death 10y drowning. This
man told of the incident. lie had been
in Chicago with his uncle for a week:
he had fallen off the roof of a barn; he
had been on a jury in a lawsuit; he
had been robbed by a man on the high
way. All these things were told over
without a mistake, together with hun
dreds of other incidents. 1t was a pub
lie investigation, with everybody free
to ask questions, and 1t lasted four
days. There were still some who carp
ed AFTER It was closed. hut there was a
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24
SIR. BoWsER'S TRIBULATIoNs.
He Buys a Genuine d Rubini" at
n ~Tremendous Bargain.

a Tremendous Bargain.
Copyright, 1901. by C. B. Lewis.)
1t was a certin Wednesday evening
that Mr.. Bowser got out a volume Of
his encyclopedia lettered I'd, e, e" and
began a close search. After a quarter
Of an hour Mrs. Bowser asked what
particular thing he. was looking for,
and he replied:
81 was looking up the name DE Ru-
bini,' but I don't seem to find it here.
It's mighty singular, too, as he was
such a we'll known person.
1.-The name seems to be Italian"
YES; it IS"
On Thursday evening Mr.. Bowser
had another search, hut with the same
vain result and, Mrs. Bowser's curiosi-
ty being aroused, she asked why he
had a particular reason for finding out
about De Rubini.
I'll just happened to want to
know he replied in some confusion.
.We had a little dispute about him
over at the Office the other day. Did
you ever happen to see his name on a
picture?"
II don't think so. In fact, never
saw it anywhere that | remember.
What was he-a celebrated conspira-
tori"
Mr.. Bowser looked at her over his
glasses in plying contempt.
"oh was he an assassin
Mr.. Bowser looked at her again with
increased pity, followed by a smile OF
lofty superiority, and he put away his
volume before saying:
TITS a wonder you don't ask whether
Christopher Columbus was a circus
clown or a windmill agent"
"But / asked you about De Ruoini'
she said.
yes. Well, De Rubini was DE hu-
bini. If you were brought up IN a
farmhouse where they didn't KNOW
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-02-24
THE CASE OF JARRED BURTON.

Copyright. 1901, by c. B. Lewis.)
On the 14th day of September,
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06
daily ksnnsbec Journal
O"'y "UNUVV JVtJfndI
AUGUSTA LOCALS
A PLEASANT TRIP.
Insane Hospital Excursion to Isle q
Springs a Great Success.
Enjoyable Sail. Music and Oanc;no Ada :,
Pleasure Of The Day.

| Inc steamer Wiwurna left TN, wa,
| OF the insane hospital. nj & l,
yesterday. with about 200 peon,. -,
| board, bound for days outing N thc
| Isle of Springs. The tide was tho in,
i'ieu'ate reason Tor starting out 50
early but the advantage was gained ,f
tseeihg the grand old Kennebec in the
beauties ot the early morning. There
were patients of both sexes on hoard
| and 10 say that they enjoyed the ont :
ing doesn't half express it.
D. u. I. Sanborn. NJ $. CampheIl
treasurer. the matron and one az ma
medical staff made the tIip and nm
were more than pleased. DR.. Sauho,n
expressed himself to IA journal rcno,t-
er, last evening, in terms OF the high
est qualification. He said he had never
been on an excursion in which the pa
tents participated in which there
seemed to De so general a feeling of
enjoyment. The weather was al tina,
could be desired. in fact il was one OF
the most delightful days of the sum-
mer
At the Isle of Springs the party was
entertained at the Sanborn's cottage
by Mrs. Sanborn, who dill cverythin.
in her power to make their stay pleas
ant. tent was pitched and n glor-
ious dinner served. While the prepa
rations were in progress the Hospital
Band gave a concert in the omen air.
And the dinner-wen there were four
bushels of clans and 20 pounds Of
Holsters. and. with the other good
things served. nothing was lacking
People from the hotel and cottages
gathered in larSc numbers to listen to
the band.
After dinner. ~ repaired 10 the
Casino where the band furnished
more music intcrspersed by instru-
mental solos ana vocal selections by
Miss Edith Bradford. singer of note
who was encored many times. All We're
delighted with Miss Hradfords sing
ing. The accompaniment was played
by Miss Maud Sanborn. daughter OF
Supt. Sanborn. Miss Crawford Of
New York. who is staying at Ham
mond.S Grove, gave a recital that was
one Of the pleasing parts OF the days.
program.
The day at the island was passed in
whatever manner the tastes ana fan
ces Of the eXcursionistS led. Some
picked blucbcrries and others fished:
all had q good time long TO be re
membered. Among other festivities
was dance in the Casino. directly af-
ter the concert. for which the Hospi-
tai Orchestra furnished music. The
party arrived home at s. +. NJ. ].
hours having elapsed since the start
in the morning
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06

\ little girl walked into an Augusta
drug store, yesterday. She was a de-
cidedly diminutive figure and the clerk
who was just then in rather jocose
frame of mind, said: Hello, little
girl, does your mother know you're
OUT With that sharp wit which is
sometimes found in children the little
miss replied: Yes. she sent me out to
buy some monkeys; are you for sale
1t was call down from very uneX-
pected quarter and the joke was on the
clerk, who took it very good naturedly
although 1t resulted in considerable
bantering
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06
POLICE COURT.
J,rry Dionnc Pays $500 and Costs For Fast
Driving Two Orurks.

Several minor cases were up before
Judge Andrews, yesterday morning.
jerry Dionne was charged with fast
aud reckless driving. Complaint was
mad" to Deputy Marshal Hanks. sat
IVA IN. that Diounc was up on Stale
street driving a team in q rather hap-
hazard way ana was liable To cause
erjous damage to himself and others.
He mad already collided with several
teams but without serious results
Deputy Hanks started in pursuit but
before he found his man the team had
w, 7 put IN. Nevertheless Dionne was
arrested and brought into court when
he was found guilty and fnec $500 and
ctS's
TWO common DRINKS. Asa Smith and
Martin Johns paid $500 each for then
FOLLY.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06

Work On extending the line Of the
Togus Electric Road through the
grounds at ToGus to the site of the
station is being rushed. and Supt Tay-
lur hopes to be able to land passengers
right among the Home buildings by
tdneSday evening. The terminus VIII
DC just west Of the greenhouses. on the
avenue leading to the Opera house ana
All the main buildings The track vii
divide and cars may be run in on each
side of the station. which Will be a
commodious structure with wide piaz-
zas and plenty of platform room. Like
all other parts of the road the work
is being done in the most thorough
manner. The new landing place Will be
Il great convenience to passengers ana
will doubtless add many to the daily
increasing number of visitors.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06

Al the regular meeting of volunteer
Hose co. No. 3. Cushnoc Heights, last
evening. the firemen discussed the
matter Of going to Waterville to enter
the company contest at the flremen 5
muster. Aug Is. The question was not
decided but special meeting has been
called for this evening at which q de-
cision is expected to be reached TINS
company has record for quich work
when it comes to handling hose and II
they decide to enter the contest they
will undoubtedly bring home prize.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06
NOTICE..

for 'I ~ VIII i,r received until Aug. 10 1au
heat1nne establishment of hot wa at,l
Mainn pant. in the new dormitory At he
well Industrial INDUSTRIAL school for girls. Hailn-
the ,d u ana specifications NAV no saa,,
well and Savings Institution. Ham
Stronsannu at the store of Andrew Hau.no.
plainI'e" s. Maine. All bids shnnid T s. -
heatin., marked on the envelope bid fo n,
'eE y, Haliowell. Maine i'' 70 =. II. Dud-
an bid risht is reserved to reject any =,
ANDREW HAYES, President
aug.3,dlw
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06

lame shoulder is usually caused
by rheumatism of the muscles. anu
may be cured by few applications
of Chamberlain's Pain Balm. For SAFE
by Jno. Coughlin, III Water ST.. ana
J. c. Houlehan, Gardiner, druggists.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06
Augusta Lodge Directory.

AUGUSTA LODGE, NO. al. F. &
n NJ Stated communication,
~ Tuesday evening. Aug. 4. at 100
W o'clock.
A cordial invitation is extended to all
Masons sojourning in the city to be pres
en' IRVING o. GAGE. w. NJ.
CIAUDE w. TOWNSEND. Secy.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06

imohiniy Regulator, has brough thappinesa to
,H;an,ureds of anxious women. There is posi-
IVY no other remedy known to medical sci
MY, MY 'hatw will SO quickly and safely do the
i tolk. Longest and most obstinate irregular
a,aos from any cause relieved att once. Success
~ S.d;ianteed at any stage. No pain, danger.
Interference with work. Have relieved
TTt.nureds of cases where others have failed
H.. most dificu cases successfully treated
a" "s mai and beneficial results guaranteed in
very Instance. No risk what soever. We treat
9unureds ofladies whom wenever see Write
90, saiuable particulars and free confidential
"u,lIe. All letters truthfullv answered. Re-
rrnr this remedy is absolutely ga fe under
lay. possible condition ami positively
IA no after i'll effect upon the health.
I u, man, securely sealed, $500. All money
~ sneuid be registered. Address. pR.
ThAoNS Co. l10Tremont ST., Boston.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06

The Augusta Fruit Co. will close
their stores Wednesday. so BUY
double portion of fruits. today
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-08-06
W V Zinc?

load chalks off: zinc prevents
VIII lead and zinc, ground 20
=. wears twice as. long as ia''o ana
II gI tE