Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-08-06
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Bank failures, like snakes. are nearly
always found in pairs.-Topeka Journal.
Death is no respecter of persons, but
appe ndicitis never attacks a tramp.-To-
peka Journal.
Evidently all the diplomacy of the Han
ma family does not lodge in Marcus.-St.
Paul Dispatch.
In addition to leaf in your hat, it is
wise to have as few hop leaves as possi-
BILE in your stomach.-Detroit News.
Missouri mules paid nine millions the
last year. 1t must be time to MQrganize
them, or Jimpjonize them.-St. Paul Dis
patch.
One OF the serious questions in the
Philippines is as to whether the school
house can be made to follow the flag
Detroit Free Press.
Although it is claimed that a fool is
born every minute, only thirtysix Ameri-
cans became naturalized Britons last
year.-Detroit News.
''She loved him as a baby" is the rea-
son assigned for the marriage of wom-
an of fl TO a youth of u. down in New
ark, \. buffalo News.
Andrew Carnegie announces that he
has 100000 more that he would like
to give away. Where is it taxed, Mr..
Carnegie ?-Detroit Free Press.
In New Jersey, the intense heat of the
daytime has driven the farmers to har-
vesting the hay crop by moonlight these
brilliant nights.-BuffalO News.
Francis B. Thurber of New York made
an assignment yesterday, so as to be able
to start in business with increased cap
ital. That's business.-Buffalo Times.
1t is astonishing the number of rela-
tions that turn up whenever wealthy
man dies. Rogers, the locomotive build
er, is the latest instance.-Toledo News.
The Sultan is willing to apologize for
interfering with the foreign mails. The
beauty of simply begging pardon is that
it is so inexpensive.-New York Evening
Sun.
This weather would be more tolerable
if we could be assured that the coal
trust was obliged to sit in the sun with
out an umbrella or a straw hat.-Topeks
Journal.
There was proof positive that the best
cannon 6recrackers are not made in
China. The angels have become inter
ested in the Glorious FOurth.-St. Paul
Dispatch.
Churches all over the land are closing
for the heated term. Satan doesn't in
the least mind the heat, and will keep
right on doing business at the old stand.
Denver Post.
The really unpleasant feature about
that recent $4,000 lynching decision is
that the fellows who do the lynching
are not the men who pay taxes.-Cleve-
| land Plain Dealer.
A barrel of whisky exploded in Louis
vile Saturday afternoon and killed a
man. The fatalities would have been
more numerous if it had not blown up
Minneapolis Times,
| Among the 1000 milliOnaires in the
| United States not one of them .can write
poetry. Money cannot secure all of the
gilt-edged glories of life on this mum
dane sphere.-Boston Globe.
| The italian customs authorities have
raised the duty on American plows as
works of art. Then it is likely they would
look on American mules as genuine old
masters.-BaltimOre American.
! The next thing in order for the wealth
| er department is a thaw. The whole
blamed machinery behaves as though it
were specially constructed for the turning
out of extremes-Detroit Free Press.
European cities might find it profitable
| to pave with asphalt then the mObs
| which spring up so frequently couldn't
| tear up the streets and throw the paving
stones at the police.-TOpeka Journal
Now is good time for the brewers
and cigarmakers whose taxes have been
reduced to give their employees the bene-
fit of the reduction by adding the amount
thus saved to their wages.-Topeka Jour
nal
Help is needed so badly out in Kansas
that the farmers watch the trains, and
search for men in need of work. That's
as it is, but how are the needy workers
of the East to get to Kansas !-Buffalo
Times.
Willie Dunn, once English champion at
the links, has had his skull fractured
by golf bali. Some people have always
thought that the heads of golf players
were softer than those Of ordinary NOR
tals.-Buffalo Times.
The government should make a terri
bic example of a few bank wreckers
They have a way of losing the money of
their depositors and then living life of
luxury while their victims hustle to get
mOye.-Detroit Free Press.
We Just want to remark that King Ed
ward did not have as much as a shade
the best of it. When it comes to produc-
ing smooth, Unfinished language Spesi-
err Henderson is odd Suavity" himself,
and no less.-DeuOit Free Press.
1t ought not to be necessary to warn
people against taking refuge under a
tree during a thunder shower. So many
fatalities have arisen from this cause
that it is inconceivable that there can be
any one unaware of the danger of such
course.-Philadelphia Record.
Perhaps it is as well that the Young
ers have been liberated. They have not
many years of life left and probably have
no disposition to do further harm. To
keep them in prison longer would seem
more like revenge than justice Topeka
Journal.
The occupation of detective is not an
enviable one For example: To be hired
to watch a mother trying to escape with
her children from tn. pursuit of d.
vorced husband. The generality of men
would rather dig for a living. But there
are men and men!-Philadelphi Record.
The officers of the Seventh National
Bank. who have been charged with re-
sponsibility for the $2,O00,O00 shortage.
offer to make good the balance if the
charges are withdrawn. When a man
makes way with other peoples money in
smaller amounts be is not allowed to set
tie in that fashion.-Buffalo News.
The Empress Dowager of China is