The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-01-16
LAUGHTER AND
TEARS MINGLED
Continued from Page L.

Continued from Page IL
lifted from my heart and began to grow
strong and resolute. Oh men, ask God
if you want to get away 1 could only
say a little prayer at first, but He saved
me. They that confess me before men
them will 1 confess before my father
which is in heaven. You must work out
your salvation.
Some of us are so lazy. Some of you
never say a word but sit back there by
the pillars until services are over, and
then you go away and never speak to
the ministers, and you go outside and
meet each other. and you say, How did
you like the sermon; pretty good. wasn't
it?' and then Yes, but don't say any
thing about it, you might spoil the min
isterv Think of it, you might spoil the
minister by letting him know that you
the advantage of the ministers. The doc
tor goes in and says, Nellie, how do you
feel?' and asks her to put out her tongue.
(Mr. Murphy Illustrated the methods of
a doctor, putting out his own tongue,
feeling his own pulse and timeing it with
his watch then after putting his ear to
Nellie's back to see about what's wrong
there, he diagnoses the case Then he
writes prescription and says take some
of this every three hours. Then he goes
away and comes back next morning and
does it all over again, and Nellie is bet
ter
Now ministers can't do that If we'd
go through any such performance you
would get sassy, wouldn't you? / tell
you when you meet a fellow and he
wants you to go in and take something
you just say, Excuse me, not tonight
Then if he says, Just come in and have
some pop any way you come down hard
and say, No, sir, no pop! You won't
even go through the motions-that's the
way to get strong. They'll laugh at you,
of course, and when they see you with
the blue ribbon, they'll say, Hello, been
around to see Murphy, have you, and
you've got the bluesv WE'LL 1 tell you,
fellows, have had the blues for thirty
years, and if you could just peep into
my little home in the east end of Pitts
burg you would see the incest little wife
and the incest little home you ever saw
in your life, and that little woman is so
happy she sings just like a canary bird
all day long
Mr.. Murphy gave a very laughable de-
scription of the characteristics of the
different navies, referring to a prophecy
some one had made before the Spanish
War, to the effect that the Spanish nect
would play havoc with American port
cities. His reply had been that if the
er get back, and he had lived to see it
verified.
''And what is more said he, when we
had 1900 Spanish soldiers on our hands
we gave 'em transportation and sent 'em
home, after they come over here to lick
u.s. What kind of religion is that A hun
dred years ago the whole lot of them
would have been killed. Hurrah for
America! 1t was time for her to rise
up and write her name on the stars. God
bless our flag and all that it means for
Americans and American liberty (Ap-
plause) That's right, that'd wake the
dead! The Bible says, The mountains
shall break forth in singing and the trees
shall clap their hands,
"I'll tell you who was a brave man,
General Grant How the people loved
him, and how they gathered in great
multitudes just to look On his face. There
are lots of brave fellows, some of .'cm
with wooden legs and cork arms, God
bless 'em. Think of the brave boy David.
That great big giant up there on the
mountain top shouting for a man to
come forth that he might feed his flesh
to the fowls of the air, and the little
fellow coming up with his sling. He
paused at the brook and gathered q half
dozen pebbles and put them in his pock-
et,i and went on up the mountain He
came closer and closer, and then even
in wonder, he pulled back his sling and
let go, and the great Goliath dropped
dead. know the child David; I spent
nearly whole day with him in the art
gallery in London. He had a great
wealth of chestnut hair and a pair Of
wonderful blue eyes, and 1 called out to
him to leap down into my arms, and he
did leap down into my heart, and he has
stayed there ever since, bless his heart!
Think of how astonished Saul was,
when the little fellow presented himself.
He had said he would give to any man
who would go forth, his daughter, ard
houses and lands and a gold watch and
chain and make him exempt from the in-
come tax! Then along comes this little
fellow and tells him he can slay lions
and bears and deliver lambs out of their
mouths and he will go for nothing. Poor
little fellow, taking his pail of dough-
nuts and cheese to the soldiers-didnt he
have a big brave heart? While the poor
trembling Israelites shook in their boots
he ran up the mountain side with his
little sling, and he let it go and down
came the giant! He went up in his own
little ragged clothes. When Saul saw
how little and young he was he pulled
out box of clothes from under the bed
and took therefrom a great big pair of
trousers! He wanted the boy to put
them on so he would look bigger. David
put them on and wrapped them around
him two or three times. They were for
titled from behind, and David didn't like
them. He said he never got hurt there.
He took them off and put on his own
clothes and went forth to meet and STAY
his Goliath. Oh you men, go forth in
your own armor and meet your Goliath,
You must wear your own clothes and not
any one else's. You must grid yourself
in the truth and in faith in Jesus Christ.
Put on the armor of truth and sincerity
and determination and earnestness, and
then go forth and meet your Goliath, aye,
and slay him! Little David was a hero.
He knew what he could do, although men
doubted his ability. He knew what he
could do and he did it. He slew his Co
Hath. Go forth tonight all Won and meet