Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-10-31
A CASE WHERE
SILENCE Is GOLDEN.

Inc uldu WIS waiting lAO AASAAs
yard grass with hose. He was in
his shirt sleeves and smoked cigar.
He looked comfortable. A cadaver-
Gus, middle-aged man came along,
leaned against the iron fence and
mopped his forehead.
"Giving it a drink, eh?" said he to
the man with the hose.
YES" said the latter, good natured-
ly. "Wetting her down a bit"
Meat little bit of lawn that" said
the man outside the fence.
"Uh-huh," said the man with the
hose "Jollied the landlord into resod-
ding it this spring. Then. after that,
l wheedled him-or my wife did, for
never met the old duck-into scatter
ing clover seed all over it so that I've
got 1t in pretty good shape now"
Must have an easy landlord COM
mented the man leaning on the iron
fence.
'Easy?" said the man with the hose.
shifting his cigar to the other side of
his face. well, say, that old gazabo
is just pie, that's what he is-pie.
Only way | can account for the easi-
ness of that man Is that he's looney,
or that he's so rich that he don't know
where to blow himself first"
GO way" said the man outside.
"Surest thing, you know" said the
man in his shirt sleeves. 'I've only
been living in that house about seven
months, and if that old lunatic hasn't
spent $3.50 in repairs since I've been
here he hasn't spent cent"
well, l swan" said the man out
side.
Fact" said the man with the hose.
''And the beauty of it is l only pay $45
a month for the house, whereas the
folks all up and down the block, living
in exactly the same kind of houses,
have to cough up their little $55 as reg
ularly as the moon gets around"
did you ever" said the man out
side the fence, taking bandanna out
of his hat and hopping his forehead.
That's right" said the man with
the hose. 81 first moved in here-let S
see, yes, it was on the third of Decem-
ber Knew l had a bargain in the
house in just the shape 1t was then,
but l believe in getting all l can in
this life. and so | sent my wife down
to the old idiots Office to make some
demands for repairs First she tackled
him for an entirely new furnace, and
blamed If he didn't come right to the
froat from the jump, and inside of 10
days 7 had a furnace plant in this
shack that's just a picture. Kept us
SO hot during the cold weather that it
like to drove us out of DOORS"
well, well," said the cadaverous
man.
"Uh-huh" said the man in his shirt
sleeves, biting off the end of fresh
cigar. Then that having been so
easy, l told my wife that she might
as we'll hit the old codger up for gas
logs both ur stairs and down. She hit
him up. Was it easy? Well, it was
just like drinking chocolate ice cream
soda on hot night, that's all" and the
man with the hose smiled very broad
ly. Then" he went on, Il got kind
of grouchy with the porcelain bath
tub. The bathtub was all right, but
I'd seen some better ones in a plumb
er's window down town and thought
that | might as we'll have my wife
ask for one of the best in the market.
Got it hands down, and If there's a
prettier porcelain tub within eight
blocks of here, then l don't know it,
that's ALL"
Must be a bully landlord, that"
said the man leaning against the iron
fence
Eyes, or clean out of his mind" said
the fortunate tenant Then
John" came a feminine voice from
the second story window
"Wait a minute, I'm busy" said the
Bhirt-sleeved man, in reply to the fem
inine voice. Then seeing that the old
chap was of the sort that Just loves
to hurl his money at the little brides,
sent the wife down to sound him
early in the spring on the subject of
complete repainting inside Say, in
side of four days after she tackled him
burned if the painters weren't at work
and I'll bet they used 40 different kinds
OF tints that my wife picked out. Ever
hear the like of that?"
IA SoiS hCfCi uiuJ odlu lIlS uldl
outside.
"Oh, John, just run up here min
ute; / want to see you," came the fem
inine voice from the upper regions.
Cant now, my dear; haven't fin
tshed watering the grass yet" said the
man in his shirt sleeves 81 was going
to ask the pin headed old landlord to
let us have new baby grand piano.
he went on, addressing the man out
side, "but l didn't want to be arrested
Tor fraudulent practices, so let him
bff light the next whack. Had my wife
30 down and strike him for a gas
range for the kitchen. Well, sir. he
sent one up that couldn't have stood
him one penny less'n $40; enough room
In it to bake for brigade of cavalry,
Utmost"