davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Worth the Difference.

In s. L. Powers story at the Middle
sex Bar association dinner the lawyer
tried the case for the complainant.
She sued middle aged gentleman for
breach Of promise. He married an
other girl. The jury retired, and the de-
PENDANT also went his way. The jury
returned, the defendant did not. The
jury found for the plaintiff in $500
damages.
! The lawyer met the middle aged gen.
tleman few minutes later in the lob
by of an adjacent hotel.
Squire" said the latter, chow did
the jury decide?'' ~:
against you." was the answer.
II didn't think they would do that"
said the middle aged gentleman mus.
ingly. whats the damages?' '
'That amt SO badw he exclaimed. on
being told. Squire, there's that much
difference between the two women
Boston Herald. -f .-.l "
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
High School Notes.

How about that mouse, Fred? -.
State exAminatio have been held
in all the common studies and nearly
every one it seems has survived them.
The English History, Physiology,
and Solid Geometry classes, will be-
gin new subjects Jan. 81.
Most of the February magazines
have arrived.
1t seems that some persons have
got an idea from reading the former
High School notes, that this is very
bad school, now, it is just the op-
posite from that and anyone that
don't believe it to be one of the best
high schools in the state, can ask
any prominent person who has visit
ed the school. There may be some
amusement but it does not, what
there is of it, interfere in the least
with the school work.
The Caesar class have finished the
first three books with the exception
OF some chapters in the first, four
books being the required course.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Anticipated,

He was Scotch minister in small
country parish, and he was sometimes
put to it for fresh pasture wherewith
to feed his flock. One day. however,
he bethought himself that be had
never thoroughly exhausted the sub
ject Of Jonah. and his heart rejoiced.
Jonah and the whale was sort of
thing whereby you could easily drag
out sermon it's allotted two hours.
He was in full career and had reached
triumphantly the anatomical peculiari-
ties Of the case. -
IAN what feesh do We think it wad
beY' he cried in stentorian tones.
"Aiblins We think it wad be haddie
Ma. ma. 1t could nae be haddie for
to tax big mon like yon in his belly.
Aweel. aiblins We think 1t wad be a
salmon. but tell ye na, ma. 1t wad
ma be a salmon. for deed l doubt if
they ever see salmon yonder. Aweel.
aiblins ye're thinking it wad be q Dig
cOd"- -
Here an aged and weary voice piped
up from the body of the church:
"Aiblins it was whalew
IAN the dell haze We. Maggie Mac.
farlane, for takin the word cot O. the
mouth O. Gods Observation-Disclosures
colts Magazine.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Weight by Inches.

"Forty and a half" sung out the cut
ter of Chestnut street tailoring firm
as he passed the tape across custom
er's chest. Thirty-eight was registered
when the measure girded the custom
er's waist, and then the cutter stepped
back and sized up the patrons height
as compared with that of the salesman
who was recording the measurements
"Your weight is 165 pounds" he
said
zone sixty-seven," spoke up the man
who was being measured for a coat.
"How did you guess it?"
mo guesswork about it. l simply
compared your height with that of the
salesman here, who is feet 8 inches
tall. You are about two inches taller,
or, say, 5 feet 10 inches. With chest
and waist measurements and q mans
height figured out can come within a
pound or two of his weight every time,
as my close estimate Of your avoirdu-
pois proves. OF course there are ex-
ceptions, notably the man with the
very slim waist and wide shoulders,
who is invariably much lighter in build
than his appearance and measurements
indicate. In that case drop about ten
pounds from my figures and manage to
come pretty near the mark" -Philadel7
phia Record. a.-
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
The SmOthering Scene.

AS to stage appointments, there
cuuches draped with satin in early
days. The furniture was as .unpreten-
Nous as the costumes. Indeed on one
occasion when lady was playing Des-
demona to her husbands Othello dis
astrous and ut the same time ludicrous
effect. though of COURSE unrehearsed,
had been imminent through the lack of
even nail or two to make an old stool
steady.
1t was the smothering scene, and the
couch was made up Of two chairs and
rckety stool covered. of course, with
the simplest draperies-a red merino
curtain trimmed with yellow worsted
fringe Imagine Desdemona endeav-
~oring to recline gracefully. all the while
feeling portions of her couch sliding
from under her. This is how the scene
was played out:
Desdemona-Kill me tomorrow; let me live to.
night. U'm falling, dear) p
Nhello-Nay. il you strive (Keep quite Silly
Desdemona-But half an hour. (Oh, hold mel
pssh the stool under.)
Desdemona-But while l say a prayer. do be
quick. Robert. it is slipping)
Othello-It is too latei
Which, indeed, it was. for the bed COL
laf5sed. and Desdemona's body lay up
on the floor. her head upon the sole
ohair, which stuck to it's post faithful
H.-Gentleman's Magazine.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
The Pie Eaters.

Pie in New England Is served in
many queer ways, especially the king
of all pies, the royal mince. Not long
ago there appeared sign In the station
of staid, crooked and correct 'Boston-a
sign bearing the strange device, ''Hot
Mince Pie and Ice Cream" -
This is mild combination compared
with one that was served in this city
at midnight supper. A Welsh rab-
bit was being made. and there were
some who did not care to eat it on
crackers: no toast in the house, for it
was the fires evening out. A mince
pie was found lurking in the ice chest
and pressed into service. The rabbit
was spread over the pie, and both van
ished in short time. Those who ate
are still afraid in the dark, for they
can imagine that the same things are
coming for them again as came during
their dreams Of that wild. weird night.
A local minister tells pie story on
himself that is a "corker." He is 8
delicate man, and his wife was down
on pie for him and vetoed it for fami-
" use. Once he went to- q convention
in Pittstield, and a dinner was served
at which there were seven kinds of
pie. The minister took "little of
each, please" and never enjoyed him.
self so much in his life.-Baltimore
American.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Why Bees Work In Darkness.

Bees go out all day gathering honey
andswork at night In the hive, building
their combs as, perfectly as if an cleo
trio; light .shone there all the time.
Why do they prefer toswork in the
dark? is often asked. Every one knows
that honey: is liquid with no solid
sugar in it. After standing it gradual
-ly assumes crystalline appearance
or graduates and ultimately becomes
a solid mass.
Honey has been experimentally in
closed in well corked TASKS, some of
which were kept in perfect darkness,
while the others were exposed to the
light. The result was that the portion
exposed to the light soon crystallized,
while that kept in the dark remained
unchanged. j. +..~
Hence we see why the bees are 80
careful to obscure the glass windows
which are placed in their hives. The
existence of the young depends on the
liquidity Of the saccharine food pre-
sented to them. and II light were allow.
ed access to this it would In all prob.
ability prove fatal to the inmates of
the hive.-Weekly Bouquet.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
A Dreadful Moment.

A conductor on the Park line had an
experience the other day that is quite
certain to cause him many uncomforta-
BILE minutes in the future His car
stopped at Spruce street to let middle
aged lady on, and as she took her seat
the conductor gave the motorman two
bells. and the car shot ahead When
the conductor entered the car, the wo
man in question was looking out of the
window and did not see his outstretch-
ed hand. / III 2
"Fare. please" remarked the con
ductor. =. - d
The woman evidently did not hear
him. for she did not turn her head.
Neither did she hold out the necessary
coin.~
"Fare. please" said the conductor in
louder tone.
But the woman paid no heed. Then
the conductor touched her on the shout
der and in tone of voice that rang
through the car exclaimed:
"Your fare, please, ladyv' .A-.
Then the woman turned hastily
around and looked at the conductor.
The knight Of the bellcord gave one
gasp and fed to the back platform.
The woman was his mother-in-law-
Omaha World Herald.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
The Two Senators.

Congressman Jones of Virginia told
this story Of his father: Directly after
the war Jones senior was sent to the
state senate. An old slave who had
belonged to him was also elected to the
senate. The two drew adjoining seats.
Senator Jones was very courteous and
in. addressing his former slave always
called him senator. The old negro
stood it for some time and finally said:
"Massa William, l don't like dis sena-
tor business. KANT come down to
70 house and visit that cook of yourn I?
Isuhtinly would like permission to Wis.,
ityO' kitchen" 4. ,'..
The request was granted, and while
Senator Jones was in his library the
other senator was down in the kitchen
visiting the cook.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Children's Sunday Afternoon Diver.
sion.

clearing Biblestory and learning
a text should form part of the child
ren'semploymentevpry Sunday AFTER
noon," says writer in the February
Ladies' Home Journal. However
busy the mother may b. in the week
she should take time on this day to
gather her children about her and
teach them herself. She cannot dele
gate this duty to the Sunday school
without serious loss to them and to
herself. 1t is said that children now
adays do not. know the Bible. They
are SO unfamiliar with it that Bibli-
cal illusions in conversation or in
other books are not understood, and
it's language is strange to their ears.
Only the mothers can remedy this,
as the Bible is not read in the schools.
The rising generation will never know
their own sacred Book unless the
mothers bestir themselves and teach
it,"
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
They Worked on Benche..

The dignified dame was not really
English, but she had mastered the dia-
lect to some extent.
"My nevvew 'Erbert," she said,
wants to marry a schoolteacher!
Fawncy! A person who works for a
living! To be sure, now that think Of
it, that is not always disgrace. You,
my dear, write for the press now and
then. am told, but you don't ave to,
you know That is different"
EYES," replied the young person to
whom she was speaking, "but may be
said to have inherited a tendency to
work. My father and grandfather both
worked for a living, and they were not
allowed even the luxury of chair to
sit on. They worked on benches"
Dear mew exclaimed the dignified
dame, greatly shocked. "What did they
-ah-wOrk at?'
"Well. my father was Judge of the
superior court, and my grandfather
was one Of the justices of the United
States supreme court. "-Chicago Trib-
uQe,
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
August Flower.

1T is surprising fact" says Prof
Houton, "that in my travels in al
parts of the world, for the last ten
years, have met more people having
used Green's August Flower than any.
other remedy, for dyspepsia, derangol:
liver and stomach, and for constipar,
ton. l find for tourists and sales
men, or for persons filing Office posi-
tions, where headaches and general
bad feelings from irregular habits
exist, that Green's August Flower Is
q grand remedy. 1t does not iniure
the system by frequent use, and is.
excellent for sour stomachs and indi-
gestion." Sample bottles free at,
E., F. WH1TNEY's and JOHNSON DRUs,
Co. ~
Sold by dealers in all civilized coun~
tries.
Get Green's Prize Almanac.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
PASSES HIS BILL.
Congressman Eddy's Bill Favorlng
Reservation HOmesteaders Passes.

s>SoSs V0SAOsl llO1uCSIC0OCTS FdSSeSs
Word comes from Washington that
representative Eddy secured the pass
age Of the senate bill to extend the
Communication privilege to settlers on
re'leh 1ndinn lands. 1t provides that
the section of the revised 8 -atutps al-
lowing homesteaders to commute
their entries shall b. extended to all
homestead settlers who are affected
by or entitled to the provisions of
t IL free homes act. A provision is
made that in committing their entries
such homesteaders shall pay the price
provided in the laws under which the
original entries were made. The bill
will now g" to the president for sigma
ture. 1t will enable homesteaders0 on,
Chippewa lands in Minnesota and
Sioux Iandsin South Dakota to com.
mute their entries anil obtain patents
without having to remain on them
f"r the five years required for settlers
who do not commute. -. =
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Condensed Reproof.


Occasionally there Is to- be found a
proprietor of a secondhand bookstore
who is something more than the nature
of his business would seem to indicate.
He regards his old and rare volumes
rather as collection than a stock of
goods and experiences pang when he
parts with one. .-.sss. "a
A flippant young man dropped into a
secondhand bookstore kept by man
0fthis kind.
Taking down several choice old books
from the shelves, he fingered them
carelessly and replaced them. They
happened to treat of abstruse subjects
and did not appeal to him.
"Are any Of these books for hire p he
asked carelessly.
mo, young man." sharply answered
the proprietor. "They are for lore."-
st. Louis Republic.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
OnpNel Ordel:s.

One of the officials Of the road had
invited party Of gentlemen to take a
little pleasure excursion over part Of
the line OH his private car Before the
appointed day he was taken sick and
called IN his chef and cOmmissary.
"Eph." he said, IL have asked these
friends md can neither 60 with them
nor disNppoint them. l want you to
give them the best there is in the larder
and see that it is served as we'll as it
would be at the best hotel In the
world"
Eph scratched his head and looked
troubled, but simply said. Eyes. sah."
On the return several of the gentle
men congratulated the official upon
having such man." and one or two
intimated that if Eph ever wanted an
other position he would have no trou-
bic in securing it.
Finally Eph reported. 1T wa great
outin. sah." he assured his employer.
"Yas, sab: dat's right, sab; a stupen-
delicious outin, sab. De gem'men all
done me proud. and tells 'em it wa
you, sah."
Then Eph showed the bill, and it was
sumner for length and amount. He
stood hat In hand until the official said:
pretty steep. Eph: pretty steep. Moth
Ing left out and nothing but the BEST"
'Dat's right. sab. I was fusticated
mos to deaf, sab. but jes' says to my
self. sab. dat dey was no greater epicac
In de Ian dan you is. and l bought and
cooked and served. sab. jes' like it wa
yeu."-Detroit Free Press.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31

This season t. ere is a large death
rate among chrildren from Group and
lung troubles. Prompt action will
save the little ones from these terri
bic diseases. We know of nothing so
certain to give instant relief as One
Minute Cough Cure. 1t can also be
relied upon in grippe and all throat
and lung troubles of adults. Pleas
ant to take. johnson Drug Co.
Directors and choir leaders Send
us your orders for Quartettes. Male,
mixed or female. We have both
sacred and secular, in sheet or octave
form, on hand, and can give you a
good selection. Call or write
SToNE's Music House,
Fargo, n. D
Buy the Chat tam Tanning Mill.
1t takes out all wild oats and ele-
Yates the grain into sacks.
OLE SWANSON, Agent.
The New York Life Insurance Co.
will protect your family while they
are growing up, for small sum each
year, and at the end of 20 years will.
give you the money back witheinter-
est. A. s. APaAR, Agent.
> Warren.
Farm loans at Z per cent. No COM
mission. Pay the principal up any
ime you wish. A. S. APGAR,
Pepsin preparations often fail to
relieve Indigestion because they can
digest only albuminous foods. There
is one preparation that digests all
classes of food and that is Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure. 1t cures the worst
cases Of indigestion and gives instant
relief, for it digests what you eat.
johnson Drug Co.
The merited reputation for curing
piles, sores and skin Diseases acquired
by DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve, has
led to the making of worthless coun-
terfeits. Be sure to get only DeWitt's
Salve. johnson Drug Co.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
weir mitch..l and whitman.

rs In Ir. Weir Mitchells book pleas
ant story or two Is told Of Walt Whit
man, the writer, to whom some woulI
deny the name Of poet, while others re-
gard him as one OF the greatest of al
poets. One Of the. characters In the
story Of "Dr. North and His Friends"
says that Whitman was eaten up by
his own vanity, regarding everything
he did as Of such supreme value that
he had lost Ill power Of self criticism
and could not tell good from bad or in
different. Once he was asked If he
thought Shakespeare as great poet as
himself. He replied that he had often
thought of that. but had never been
able to come to decision. ~.
He went to physician upon an &C.
casion. thinking himself seriously out
Of health. When he learned that his
ailment, whatever It was, could be
treated best by living as much as pos
sible out of doors without dosing with
medicine, he was leaving in all good
humor when he bethought himself of
the physicians fee. "How much will
it. be7" he inquired. 1.-THE debt was
paid long ago." said the doctor, who
knew and liked his writings. 1T is
you who are still the CREDITOR" Whit
man thanked him and went out. An
other patient. lady, had taken his
place when he returned, put his two
great hands on the table opposite his
medical adviser-he had not stopped to
knock or announce himself-and said,
'That, sir, call poetry"
The lady was scandalized by his
abrupt appearance and demeanor and
asked as soon as the writer had gone
for the second time, lis the gentleman
insane?" but. learning his identity, she
wished he had asked for his autograph.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Both Were SurDrised.

The third time changed cars at the
HOrnellsvillc Union railroad station
and lunched ut the little grillrOOm just
up the street the jolly little proprietor
recognized me as regular patron and
did his best to entertain me while my
special pot Of coffee was coming to a
boil.
"Notice that fellow who just went
out?'' he asked, chuckling contentedly
to himself
hadn't noticed particularly, but !
knew it would be disconcerting toad.
NIT, so nodded encouragingly, says a
writer in the New York Herald.
"Well," he continued, that's Jim
Smith - Long Jim Smith they call
hinl-conductor OF the Erie, and, say.
he's laying for me. Greatest practical
joker you ever saw. Always getting
rigs on me, and never could get back
on him until last week, and then l was
about as much surprised as he was.
II was coming down the street and
saw a crowd gathered around some Sal
walton Army singers. Long Jim was
away on the edge Of the crowd, stand
ing on his tiptoes so he could see over
the heads Of the rest. He had his
back to ne, and. sticking out from un-
der his arm, was biz bag Of lemons.
I saw my chance, and sneaked quiet
~ behind him, hauled off and gave
that bag Of lemons an awful swipe
with my cane." y.
Here the little man went off into an
uncomfortable fit of laughter over the
remembrance. rr
He laughed till his sides shook and
tears ran down his face. I waited till
he had quieted down.
"WellT' l Queried. Scattered the
lemons all about, suppose?"
"Scattered! Ho, no, no! He! Hi,
hi, hi! He! Hum! Well. should say
SO. But they wasn't lemons; they was
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
Took Mutton.

He was a station hand in from a
three months spell of work, during
which he had tasted no other meat
than mutton: also he suffered badly.
His eyes fairly leaped at the stuffed
turkey on the hotel dinner table.
though the boiled mutton made him
SILVER.
Said the host, what will you try.
Mr.. StrapsT' ~
Eagerly, I'll TRY b-bit of it,
The word aoored him. Again. "G-give
mime H,little TIT Then. red faced
and disgusted: "Oh. h-hang it! Give
me some b-blooming mutton! h-hate
1t, but can s-s-s-say 1t, anyhow
Sydney Bulletin. 49,. ~. p" =, .
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
1.~.,d woman, Gallon. Brute.

HkWeid Woman, Gallons Brute.
There Is an II street real estate man
whose pretty home Is In one of the
pleasantest streets in the older part OF
town. He is just an ordinary man,
with no particular sympathy for the
fears Of nervous women; he has been
married Is years. and his wife is one
of those women who fairly revel in all
sorts Of painful imaginings and fright
full forebodings. She always makes
her will when she starts on Journey,
and she never fails to forgive all her
enemies before she trusts herself be.
hind any kind of a horse. There has
not been night In all the Is years of
her married life that she hasn't either
smelled smoke or heard burglars. Last
week, in the middle Of one night, the
husband felt the familiar pinch which
for Is years has calloused his arm. He
heard the familiar voice say the same
old words: ". s..ss r.. "5..s
"Oh, Charles! DO get .up!' smell
smoke" @sTt# &@H.$ tst# @HS.2Ar
AS usual, for after IS years Of that
sort of thing even an ordinary man
learns not to argue with woman. he
climbed obedlently out Of bed and went
to the window. The street below was
full of people, and a fire engine was
putting awav at the corner. sa~.
"Oh, Charlesw called the wife. us
the house Oh fire?' ''.* 800
Fifteen years have made Charles
feelings as callous as his arm. -.
eyes," said he brutally; thank good
ness the house is on fire at last Now
perhaps you'll stop worrying Wash
ington Post.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1901-01-31
The Real Trouble.

Mrs. De Style Cooking from her pa
per)-The idea! told that reporter
not to mention my name in connection
with the Glugore's reception, and yet
he's done it. I'll just 60 down to that
newspaper Office tomorrow and see
about this.
Mr.; De Style-Oh, wouldn't pay
any attention to it, my dear.
Mrs. De Style-I wouldn't, but they
have got my name spelled wrong
Philadelphia Press.