St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1901-04-27
A FUNNY BEAR.
Surrounds Mirandy and Cures
Jin's Rheumatism.

sThere was all the wood to chop for
over Sunday" said the man from the
Knob country, "an' here it was Sat
urday mornin'; but Jim was took so
outrageous with the roomytiz that he
couldn't Waddle out to the woodpile,
an seems like the more he looked
at the wood that want chopped the
more the roomytH grabbed him an
held him back. The weather was
gittin' colder, an that wood had to
be chopped, somehow.
Consarn it all, you JimP says
Mirandy, Jim's wife; what on airth
/ wonder is the reason thatthe roomy-
tiz always takes holt onto you SO sud-
dent when there's the wood to chop?
says she. How under the blue can
opy We'rn gointer git that wood
chopped / don't know, sayssshe, but
j warn you right now, you jim, that
I amt gointer chop it, says Mi
! randy.
Cause Mirandy had done it
more'n once before.
Jim he looked out o. the windera at
the Woodpile an winched an hol-
Tered an grabbed his leg.
1If ] had the maxim O. things
says he, I'd make trees, by snoopsl
that'd tumble into stove len'ths, all
split an piled in the yard, jist as soon.
as they growed big enough says he.
Yes, says he, an d have 'em made.
sothey'd5 crawl from the woodpile to.
the kitchen, By snoopsl an climb into
the woodbox,' says he.
S'Mirandy she didn't say nothin', !,
an bineby Jim he says:
Mirandy,' he says, James Sam
wants them three coonskins o mine
the worst way says he.
Well, says Mirandy, they amt
worth much. Why don't he git EN-,
then?' says she.
6 That's jest it,sssays Jim They
amt worth much ! an I want him to
git EN-. 50 { thought mebbe you
mowt make an errand down to
James says he, tand tell Sam that
if he'll come up an chop the wood
for over Sunday, says Jim, lie kin
have 'em. Tell him I've got the
roomytiz SO that I couldn't raise up if
Gabriel should toot his horn, says
jim, AN that besides lettin' him have
the 'coonskins I'd be much obleeged,'
says Jim.
Now, Artemesy had been to James
senee Mirandy had, an Mirandy
hadn't heerd yit what Artemesy an
Jane had ben sayin' about folks, So
she had ben for week an better jest
pinin' fer an excuse to go to James,
but there hadn't none offered.
s0h, yes says Mirandy to Jim.
Certainly! Of course! ] kin traipse
my legs off, says she, 'runnin' of err
rands fer you, no matter what else.
/ got to do or how deep the snow is!p
says she. 1T don't make no difference
about me! Imowt have roomytiz an
neWrallygy am plumbago in the back
all to wunst an together says She,
but I'd have to keep moyin'! Oh, I
kin make an errand to Jane'sp says
she. I kin go down an asst her if the
moon is made q green cheese, or
whether she ever heerd my Uncle
Peter fiddle the tune the old COW died
on!' says She. { hain't got nothin'
else to do but run my legs off to git
folks TO come an chop your wood
while you set by the stove an nurse
That roonlytiz! Not a thingY saysshe.
An all this time she was gittin'
her things on so fast that she was all
ready to go before she got through
talkin', an was gone before Jim could
git a word in edgewass.
IT was a nniled an a half from
Jin's TO James, goin' By the main
road, an two miled if you took the
road that forked off from the main
road to go to'rds the Eddy I've al
ways said il, square up an down, an [
say it now, that bears is chuck full o.
fun an that they won't never miss
chance to onIoad some Of it, though