The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-11-26
HOW 'SYOUR THINKER?'
AN RAR-TUBB THAT MAKES
THOUGHT AUDIBLE.
An Old Fossil Gives ihe Repoter a
Magic Repertorial Bar Tube
By which He Can Hear
Thoughts Of Others.
fBy ID. B. Garrison. ]


item. This time it was a seedy-
looking Used to-be; sort of intel
lectuai wreck; graduate of Yale,
gone wrong and all that; broken
spar adrift upon Lies ocean.
Said he, " Heard anything worth
printing to day"
mot much" / replied, "what
have you got2'
"Gotl Why I've got more news
than you can print in week"
well, for instance, said L.
'Say, young fellow, If you've
got 'brscern about you, I'll give
you pointer that'Il make you the
envy of the whole gang ,"
| mechanically handed him two
bits, sure his need was great. and
knew the use he would make of it.
But that dirty derelict took little
tube from his pocket and handed
it to me, saying. Put that on your
left ear and you'll be all right"
Twas about to fling the thing
away in disgust, when the old fell
low excitedly caught my arm ex-
claiming:
"Say, you - fool, what's the
matter with you? l don't look it,
but / used to be Washington man
on the Tribune for Old Greeley, and
worked for Bennett and Childs
and all the old boys, made $4,000
a year dead easy, and that little
tube did it. But you can't booze
and use that, and ] prefer to booze.
See?
"Well, / must brace up. So long.
Just put that in your left ear and
you can hear eyerybody's thinker
at work."
looked at his shambling retreat
ing form and said, hall aloud, "an-
other crank, unbalanced by drink" l"
But | stuck the thing in my vest
pocket and thought no more about
it, until. Just in idle curiosity, as |
was looking for news yesterday, |
put the thing to my left ear. So
help me Goodness, the thing was no
fake. it worked to finish l was
on Fourth street, and the editor Of
the morning daily passed by-not
the local, but the one who does the
heavy work. His thinker was
working, but it was rather rusty
and this is all / could catch;
"'The Averdupois of Immensity'
is good. I'll clip one on that The
Influence of Boston Beans on the
Climate of Puget Sound | can
get that from some Chicago papers,
the Windy City, you know. The
Reciprocity of the Contingent as
Related to Socialism,, Bige Eddy
can give me that, unsigned, of
course. Let's see. How's this?
The 'Retrogression of Progression
on the Evolution of Anarchy. |
can get that from the st. Louis
Republican, and these subjects are
all replete with local interest,"
Just at this point he passed out
Of hearing. A prominent man
passed by aud ] heard "Cockrels
worth more than pullets. I'll fur
nish the eggs. I'll take my half in
cockrels and she can have the pull
lets. l paid the odd cent last
month. You pay IL this month
Tomorrow is the Sabbath; I'll drop
a nickle in the treasury Of the Lord I;
it pays to invest literally in the"--
and l lost the rest.
He passed on and I ssnnterc;;i.
into the Woman's Club. Twenty
ladies were all talking at once and
such a babel never heard before
in my life But it was all plain,
every day Woman's talk. Plainly
my magic tube was not working Z.
| took it out and examined it care
fully; there was apparently nothing
the matter with it. / put it back
in my ear. I listened intently but
could not hear single thought.
Then I remembered, the mothers,
wives-and sweethearts who want
to be wives--do not belong to clubs.
There were no thinkers there. 1t