Daily Kennebec journal., 1901-12-24
SLY SHOPPERS.
How Some People Try to Hide
Christmas Purchases.
Strive to Garry Home Big Bundles o.
Presents Unseen.
What John Quill Thinks Of the Tricks 0,
Artiu' Dodgers.

Twas the night before Christmas
and through the house not creature
was stirring. not even a mouse
Whenever | hear that old second reader
antediluvian back number sprung on a
patient but long suffering community.
! can't help thinking that had the au-
thor of those sweet old lines lived in
Augusta and kept his eyes huskcd that
sweet old carol would have been lost
to the world: for there is no buster
place than the Capital city the night
before Christmas, and the man. woman
or child who fails to watch the Christ
mas shoppers as they wend their WAY
hOmewarG loaded. down with every
Kind of Christmas Offering from a
grand square piano to a bale of hay
misse~ more fun than ordinarily fails
TO the lot of man.
People Who would not ordinarily
think Of carrying home even a yeast
cake are in the procession and loaded
down like Old Atlas with the world on
his shoulders. They are all so cute and
clever about il or think they are chats
where the ludicroUs part OF the Whole
thing comes i'm. They sneak along
the street aS il they had been stealing
sheep and We're il mcrtal fear Of the
sheriff. They want. il possible. to get
the presents home before the receiver
gets his eyes on ii and surprise him
or her. So they dodge along the way,
and when they Sc" some familiar face
or form approaching they take refuge
in neighboring doorway until the
| crisis is past and then they advance
coast is clear.
The grand procession starts about
$50 or . o'clock and YOU want ~ b.. on
hand early so as to get a GooG seat for
no three-rng circus with two painted
faced clowns was hair rs funny as tbs.
parade of the innocents the night before
/ Christmas. You cam tell when the
cavalc2dc starts for the first man in
| Variably carries Il rocking horse. |
have watched this grand march for Il
number of years. Never mind how
many. | don't care to continc myself TO
exact dates for fear of giving my age
| away-but say something over % and
less than a hundred. Now the man.
woman or child who can do up u rock
| ing horse So z blind man couldn't tell
what it was al Il casual glance does not
live. The legs stick out one way and
! The lfe;,d the other. But the man with
the horse does not have the slightest
idea that anybody knows y hat Ii. has
got Next comes the man with the
sled marked Hector or For n good
hoy or some other sensible thing and
a man who has not seen the sun for !"
years and wears horse binders could
! tell what il was without locking. Then
comes baby chairs with Il piece of tis
sue paper and a string around them.
go-cartS with wobbly wheels: dolls
with their legs hanging out of the pa
per: mysterious looking packages that
speak right out and say: II am a
Christmas work box: umbrellas that
will persist in sliding out from under a
! Sentleman'S coat or The ladies rlohks.
and showing themselves when they
ought to keep hid. all add To the FUN
ny side of the scene.
Now ana then. some Christmas shop
pers, who try to walk upright in life.
step on the icy pave and capsiZe their
cargo, spreading good cheer for several
rods in all directions. There is II"
tunnier scene on the American continent
han this mixed procession of Christ
|
! homeward, each one with 4 dray load
| of presents. l watch this proc. ssion ur-
( til the end and get more enjoyment on:
If it than Vanderbilt does out Of hi>
millions. After tb" street is quiet ! 90
home to the bosom of my family. put
d red card like the ice mau in the win
| dow for Santa Claus To call, hide the
| coal scuttle So he won't fall over it
and break his neck. hang up my stock
| ing and retire to my yirtuous couch
| While | dream that Santa has slid down
| the chimney whil.. have been snooz-
/ ing. put 4 Ton of stove coal in on"
stocking and 81: feet of dry edgngs in
the other But alas upon awaking |
| find it is but q dream which the late
| lamonted Noah Webster 50 aptly de-
fined as "a vain fancy. Il wild conceit or
an unfounded suspicion You may
| break and shattcr tho diiusiOn il YOU
| will but the memory Of that night-be-
| fpre-Christmas parade remains with us
still.