West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-03-21
MR.. BOWSER'S
TRlBULATlONS.
He BUYS q Genuine ''De RubiDi" Paint.
Ing at Tremendous Bargain.

~ way NS''alh wednesday evening that
Me-. Bowser 60, out volume of his eney
elopedia le,tered "D EF," and began a
close search. After quarter of an hour
Mrs. Bowser asked what particular thing ne
was looking for, and he replied
81 was looking up the name de Rubini,
but don't seem to find it here. It's mighty
singular, too, as he was such a well.known
person."
"The name seems to be Italian. 4"
EYES; it is"
On Thursday evening Mr.. Bowser had an
other search, but with the same vain result.
and Mrs. Bowser's curiosity being aroused.
she asked why he had a particular reason
for finding out about DE Rubini.
81 jas, happened to want to know,
he replied IN some confusion. ''we had a
hitle dispute about him oyer at the Office
the other day. Dad you ever happen to see
his name on a picture 1''
81 don't think SO. In fact, never saw
II anywhere that remember. What was
he--a celebrated conspirator ?"
Mr.. Bowser looked at her over his glasses
IN plying contempt.
''Or was he an assassin ?"
Mr.. Bowser looked at her again with in
creased pity, followed by a smile of lofty
superiority aud he put away his volume be.
fore saying
"lts wonder you don't ask whether
christopher Columbus was a circus clown or
windmill agent"
"But asked you about DE Rubini."
she said.
eyes. Well, DE Rubiui was De Ru-
bini. II you were brought up in farm
house where they didn't know Shakespeare
from Dan Rice, and II you attended eoun.
try school where the teacher put Nero.
Socrates, Queen Victoria and Dan Mahoney
into a bag together, you are not exactly to
blame for il, but IL seems as il YOU nigh,
picked upa few things since marrying me.
have no doubt that every other woman ON
this block knows all about De Rubini's won.
derful works, masterpieces of divine art"
Nothing further was said, but on the next
evening, just as dinner was concluded, the
doorbell rang, aud a dark-faced, long
haired man whose breath smeiled of fresh
roasted peanuts and who had CRIME on his
nose entered the hall. lie bore a large oil
| portrait OF a man dressed IN ancient costume,
wearing cooked hat aud sword and look.
ing as II he were out for barrel of blood.
"Signor Bowser," said the peanut man,
81 haf broughta da picture to maka you
happy"
MIR. Bowser handed over several green.
backs and bowed him out and lugged the
painting back to Mrs. Bowser in the sitting
room. lie placed chair against the wall
placed the picture on the chair and then
stood back with a chuckle and said
"You asked who DE Robini was. Be
hold him 20
The cat dropped off the lounge, took a
square look at the portrait aud then dis
creetly retired few feet to be out of the
way Of the flying splinters.
$50 that's DE Rubini sitting down 10 his
beer ?" querried Mrs. Bowser after long
look at The old canvass, across which nnum-
erble trails.
Haven't you more sense than that p"
holly demanded Mr.. Bowser as he flushed II D.
"Then who is il 2"
THE figure before yon is that of the
chevalier of Milan, while DE Rubini was the
painter. Can't you see his name down
there in the corner %
ooh, yes. Then De Rubni was a great
painter, was he %
'The greatest on earth and probably the
most eccentric. When nc had painted
abo 4 dozen pictures, he stopped work
and would pint no more. This is one of
his few gems, and it may be said to be
priceless"
But what are you doing with a priceless
picture ?"
"MD. Bowser. did you never hear of such
ihipg as man being hard up, oycuaken
by misfortune, obliged to sell his all ? This
happens TO be~a case Of il. II was either
slarve and freeze or sell. and the owner Of
this gem decided TO sell. didn't care TO
buy iill had tremendous bargain hurled
at me. Won't say exactly what paid
but II ] should ever want TO part with IL I
can turn my money over ten tines"
Mr. Bowser walked around with smile
Of complacency on his face, and the cat
gdnned and nodded and said to herself that
there was fun ahead.
"Well queried Mr.. Bowser as he stop
ped short.
"Vou Want to know what think, slowly
replied Mrs. Bowser. "well, never saw
such shackIety old frame on a picture"
''Shackeity ." gasped Mr. Bowser.
"from my point Of view, the drawing is
amaieunsh and stiff, the coloring poor, and
irs portrai, that the great DE Rubini
must have painted by the yard. don't
want 10 hurt your feelings, bur
"Darn my feelings g. ihundered Mr..
Bowser as he jumped up and down with his
eyes blazing. Woman, do you know what
you are say to me p
I'm criticising the portrait"
"You chiicisiug--yoo Madam, how dare
you display such cheek ?"
'rhe chevallicr Of Milan, she went on,
"wcan his sword on the wrong side. and
his thumbs are as long as bis fingers The
right isot, as seen under the table. seems 10
belong 10 the left Lex, and that he Is cross
eyed man you can see by glance. II you
paid over dollar fof that daub. YOU
Cover dollar Daub =" he almost
shrieked as he waved his arms around.
Woman, ascend 20 your room By the
great horn spoon, bat feel like boxing
your ears Move Get up s,airsro
Mrs bowser moved, and the cat was 50