davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
MS IDEA OF THE PHILIrPT1Fs.
A North Carolius Boys Highly Coloret
Description of tho Homo of Aguina,to.

Henderson IN. CO. Gold Leaf The
Gold Leaf is in receipt of the following
unique combination OF humor, sar-
casm. truth and irony about the Phil
ippine islands, written by Vance
county man doing service in that far
off land as he of Uncle Sans boys
in blue. The author is Mr.. John H.
Burwell. He says:
The Philippine islands are u bunch
of trouble gathered together on the
western horizon of civilization They
are bounded on the north by rocks and
destruction; on the east by typhoons
and monsoons: on the south by canni-
balls and earthquakes; ON the west by
hoodooism and smugglers. The climate
Is a combination of electric changes
we'll adapted to raising Cain The soil
is extremely fertile, producing large
crops of Instruction and trickcry Th-e
Inhabitants are very Industrious. their
chief occupation being trench building
and the manufacture OF bolos, knives,
and reloading Remington cartridges.
Their amusements are cock-fghting.
monte dealing. thieving and cheating.
Their diet consists of rice-boiled rice,
Stewed rice, fried rice, cooked rice and
and rice.
THE Filipino marriage service is
very impressive, especially the clause
wherein the Wife is given the privilege
of working as much as her husband
desires. The beasts of burden are carl
bous; on Il three-m mile journey only ten
days rations need be taken, but if the
journey is 100 miles the driver would
die of old age before reaching his des,i.
nation. The rivers are serpentine NJ
course, the current running in opposi-
| ton to all known laws of graNitation
| Manila, the capital and principal city
is situated on Manila bay, a large land
locked body of water, full of filth
sharks and Spanish submarine boats
Cavite, the next city of Importance, i,
| noted for Its natural facilities for {:
| naval station and for it's large numbe>
| of saloons and Cinnamon.
The principal exports of the island.
ire rice, hemp and war bulletins. TIL
l principal imports are American sol
| diers arms, ammunition beer and to
| bacco.
Malaria is so prevalent that on var
| ious occasions the islands have berl
shaken with a chill. Luzon, the larges
| OF the group. resembles q cast off boot
| Communication has been establishe'
| between the numerous islands by sub
| shutting the mosquito for the carrie
| pigeon, the mosquitoes being mucl
| larger and better able to endure thu
fatigue of the journey. The native cos
| tune consists of a flour sack tie,
around the waist. The native drink i
| bino, concentrated tarantula poison
| cactus juice, barbed wire and forkc;
lightning. The Philippines are an APP
propriate present for a deadly enemy
The natives are friends at the point %
a gun. The climate. pleasant am
| healthful for reaches, tarantulas, ALI
gators, scorpions, centipedcs am,
Il a .;.,t,..
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Deafness Cannot Ire Curcd

by local application as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There Is
only cne way To cure deafness and that is
Ivy constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an ntlamed condition of the
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube.
When this tube is inlamed you have a
rumblng sound or imperfect hearing, ana
when 1t is entirely closed. Deafness is the
result, and unless the Inflammation can ko
taken ont and this tube restored 10 Its nor
NAL condition. hearing VIII he destroyed
forever; nine cases ont of ten are caused
by Catarrh which Is nothing but the in
famed condition OF the mucous surfaces
We will give one Hundred Dollars fol
any case of Deafness (cnused by catarrhj
that cannot he cured by Halls Catarik
cure. Send for circulars; free.
u. j. cIlENF1Y. & CO, Toledo. O.
Sold by druggists. I5c.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
HIGH COLLARS AND CANCER.
Doctor Sounds Warning Against Il
Coming of the Shirt Waist Season.

Coming of the Shirt Waist season.
Kansas City Star: When you
put on your shirtwaists this
year, women, do not wear high
linen collars. You threaten yourselves
With cance when you do
The speaker was one of the best
known physicians in Kansas City. He
has had years of experie:~e with this
disease, and he knows whereof he
speaks. He cited cases to prove his as
sertion, notably one of Philadelphia
shop girl who was taken with cancer
Of the throat. Physicians showed that
the disease began with the wearing Of
high "choker" collars.
There is not he went on, "a parti-
Gle of doubt that these high collars,
| 'chokers as they are called, now being
worn by many young women, are de-
cidedly injurious. They make the
wearers extremely amenable to colds.
fo- they interfere with the proper ac-
ton of the throat muscles. Then, too.
the collars act as mufIiers and keep the
air from the neck, making it unusually
tender and vulnerable to drafts The
| drawing tight of the collar around the
reck not only causes chatting. but pro-
duceS cancer of a dangerous and uSu-
! ally fatal character.
II think that this matter should be
brought before women. so that all due
care may be exercised, and this habit
or fashion of tight high collars and
bands that draw the neck in mummy
| like folds may be discontinued.
Men wear their collars loose and do
not use tight neckbands But now thai
women have usurped some of the mas
culine fashions. they push them to ex-
tremes. Within six months have
treated no fewer than four cases of
cancer of the throat-and every case
was due to the high collars worn by
] women"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
EXCURSION RATES
He Took the City Editor n. HI. Word.

New York Tribune: Among the du-
ties of city editor of great daily
fell the lot to take to task one of his
reporters. The reporter in question
was an Englishman, slow of thought
and action and misery of speech.
Through the TRADE to which he was
subjected he said nothing and when it
finally ended he left the presence of his
superior without any comment. But,
as the result proved. he did some tall
thinking.
City editors when "riled," as is well
known. are not particularly choice or
economical IN the language they be-
stow on their unfortunate reporters.
and among other things the English
man had been told that he was no bet
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Truly. n prcdica,nent.

Washington Evening Star: why are
you weeping. o son of the radiant full
moon?" asked the servile courtier.
~ message from the emperor" said
the Chinese official.
Have you received the sillsen cord
that means that you are to be your
own executioner?"
Worse
elias the emperor sent you the awful
and Imperative sword?"
Worse. He has demanded my resig-
nation from office. And our civiliza-
ton, old and complete as 1t is, has not
yet designed any method by which a
man can make substitute do duty
when he has to resign from office"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Shabby of Him.

Catholic Standard and Times: Ascum--
i suppose you're proud to know that
young Peters. who used to work for you,
is AN artist now?
Waters (the milk dealer)-Proud? I'm
ashamed of him. He's the worst kind of
a traitor to give away the secrets of the
trade the way he's dom.
Ascum-How do you mean?
Waters-Oh! l heard him boasting that
he made money now givin ".chalk talks
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
why lie Wa. Uneasy.

Chicago News: Enpeck- "Doctor,
wish you would call at the house this
morning and have a talk with my wife
I'm afraid she's losing her mind"
Doctor-"What reasons have you fol
believing that such is the case"
lGnpeck-"ANe our baby is just {;
week old. you know, and when asket
her last night what she intended to cal
it she said: oh, ] shall leave that en-
tirely to YOU"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Living.

be his wife.
Then / have nothing to live for he
moaned.
A painful situation, this, for her
What should she say?
We'll. one can scarcely expect to live
for nothing. at present prices of coal
and provisions!'' She faltered, al
length.
With s-ild cry he drew on his gloves
and plunged away into the night.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Tho roppy Drcnm.


] am king where dulcet waters
Break upon symphonic Shores
Where the sun i'm golden glory
Geasclcss splcndor downward pours
Whore the winds hcstir the fragrance
of the everlasting flowers,
And the shadow on the dial
Never fails to mark the hours.
There. beyond the perturbation
OF this world of tolls aud greed,
Fate is milne In subiugation
And she gladly serves my need.
Fame and fortune are the baublcs
That toss within my hand.
What this life doles out 81 .othy
DO J scorn In poppyland.
Who would dcign to be a bcggar
Who had ever been n king?
Who would drop the nectared chalicc
For tho guard at Marah's spring?
Who would journey on the byway
With the highway unbeset?
Who would court this old worlds trou.
Bile
When they might so we'll forget?
Hop Wah in Salt Lake Herald
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
a Glrl's Good ltccipc.

Boston Transcripts: There was a modi-
cum of sense In the response to request
made by a young lady as to what would
keep her hands white and soft: Soak
your hands three times daily in dish
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Long IN prnmises.

Washington Star: What is your idea
of n reformer?"
"Well,' answered Farmer Corntossel,
from my limited observation l should
say a reformey IS a man who is willing to
promise anything .
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
ORGANIC DETERMINATION,

DEAR Mrs. PINK1IAM 81 was
troubled very badly with inhamma-
ton of the bladder, was sick in bed
with it. l had two doctors, but they
did me no good. A friend gave me
Lydia Il. PinlSham's Vegetable Conn
pound, and it helped me. have now
taken three bottles of it, and l am
entirely cured. 1t is a God-scnd to
any woman, and would recommend it
to any one suffering as was. think,
if most of the women would take
more of your medicine instead of
going to the doctors. they would be
better off. The Compound has also
cured my husband of kidney trouble. ;"
Mrs. MABEL. GooKIN,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
The samp Old Excnxn.

Leslic's Weekly: Magistratc-"WeII
young man, what excuse have you for
taking the picture when you were forbid
den to do it?''
Young Man-"Judge. i didn't know NV
camera was loaded"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

j ann sure l'isos Cure for Consump-
ton saved my life three years ago
Mrs. Thomas Robbins. Maple street
Norwich. N. u, February IA, 1900.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Box 100. Mechanic Falls, Maine
NERVOUS PRosTRATloN.

For two years suffered from
nervous prostitution, the result of
female weakness. had lcucorrhoea
very badly, and at time of mcnstrua
ton would be obliged to go to bed.
Also suff. ID with headaches, pam
across back, and in lower part of
abdomen. was SO discouraged l
had read of Lydia e. Pinlkham's Com
pound, and concluded to give it a trial.
wrote to Mrs. Pinkham, and received
a very nice letter in return. l began
Mt once the use of her Vegetable Com
pound and Blood Purifier, and am now
feeling splendid. have no more pain
at monthly periods, can do my own
work, and have gained ten pounds. l
would not be without your Vegetable
Compound. 1t is asplendid medicine.
! am verythanlSful for what ithas done
for me. y Mrs. j. w. j., &c Carolina
Ave, Jamaica Plain, Mass.
If Lydia T.. PinlSham's Vegetable
not you = you cannot tell until you u
get well, commence its use at once, an
TINT he has something of his own W
him to produce the evidence VIZ do.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
E.llnl Love.

Indianapolis Press: There is nothing
Ike the lcse of n boy for his mother
said the sentimental boarder.
''Especially at meal time commented
the savage bachelor
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

UOuVva unnatural disshs E sne f Saae %.
nations, Irritatlons Ulceratiors, Gonorrhra elect
Guaranteed and scnt BY mail on receipt of price.
II. g. Baker, Druggist, Sioux City, Ia. who carries
full line Of rubber goods syringe and hot water bags
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

William f. Charming: Every human
being is intended to have II character
OF his own; to be what no other is and
to do what no other can do.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

in weight | recommended Peruna 10
an acquaintance of ours and he is MAX
ing remarkable progress. looked so
badly for time before l began your
medicine, that now when l meet some
of my friends they say: Il was very
much worried about you, but now YOU,
are looking so WELL shall always
keep Peruna and Manaln in the house
as family medicines. Mrs. Bertha
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

After struggle public confidence
faith which,
inc satisfaction it is succeed and to real the uplifting influence the
merted confidence of of follow beings
Thus stands the Pnhan in ngnd and all America
inlha Vegetable
New England its home Merit and merit alone this
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

Miss ANN BRYAN favore cousin William
Washington recent
1850 Florida Avegae, N. W., WASHINGTON, d. c.
The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, o.:
Gentlemen" At the solicitation began some
weeks take Peruna feel person.
Itake pleasure In recommending to all good tonic
and permanent for catarrh. -.Anna Bryan
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Guine,i a Day.

Life: "rhcre's no use talking. old man,
when chap has too much money, life is
n bcastly BORE
'Bnt you manage to kill time, don't
NO: 1 went all the way around the
world In my yacht just for that purpose,
and be hanged If hadn't gained whole
day"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

Mrs. Sinslo~'s soormisa sy.ur for cbt,drc,
tecthng, softens the gums, reduces Inflammation
aliuys pain, cures wind cole. 2oc y buttls
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
SPRING CATARRH MAKES
PEOPLE WEAK AND NERVOUS

I'D N ERvOUS
Thousands of Fair Women Are
Never Without Pe-ru-na
The National Catarrh
Remedy.
Miss Marie Goats. President of the
Appleton Young Ladies' Club, writes the
following concerning peruna:
Appleton, Wis.
The Pcruna Medicine Co.. Columbus. o.:
.4 Gesntlemon-t ~''.s.''''" I
j !. !: I
an eNccllcnt} 1sSEM
spring and sum tsxasSssM
mer m dicineI ~ NSNS
and am glad to} Va = WA
call the attcntion$ NJ
of my friends to i.S XII I
it. When that JAN ESSA Z
languid, tired} ssSs eEss SVsS# !
feeling comes ~
jon m, ' tast Y HAatl = :
good, and snallt Miss Marie Coats
annoyances iu- ! <-<-<<<>-<-<>-<>-> !.
tate You, Pcruna will make you feel like
another person inside of week. have
now used it for three seasons and find VI
very reliable and eflicacious. Marie
Coats
Mrs. Al. Wetzel 81 South 10Th street,
Eerre Uaute Ind. writes:
"Peruna is the greatest medicine on
earth. feel we'll aud that tired feeling
is all gone. When began 70 take your
medicine | could not smell not hear a
church bell ring. NOW can smell and
hear. When ] began yonr treatment my
chirping and loud noises. Three months
ago dragged around like snail; now
can walk as brsSly as ever. am
going to go and sec the doctor that said
! was not long for this world, and toll
him that Pcruna cured me.'-Nlrs. AL.
Wctzel.
II all the tired women and all the ncr-
vous women, and all the women that
needed Il tonic would read and heed the
words of these three fair ladies who
have spoken right to the point, how
many invalls would be prevented AMI
how many wrctchcd lives be made
happy.
Pcrnna restores health in a normal
way.
Pcruna puts right all the mucous mem
brnncs of the body, and in this way
restores The functions of every organ.
Ii it is the stomach that is ont OF
order, and the digestion impaired, Pc
runa quickly makes things right hy
restoring tho mucous membrane of the
stomach.
Ii the nerves Jingle il the brain is
tired, il the strength is tagging and the
circulation of blood weakened by tiabby
mucous membranes of the digestive
organs, Peruna reaches the spot at once
by giving to these membranes the vi
tality and activity which belongs t.
them.
The pelvic organs are also lined with
mucous membrane which in the female
sex is especially liable to arrangements
/ Peruna is an absolute specific in these
cases The women everywhere arc
! praising it. No other remedy has evel
Received such unqualified praise from
such Il multitude OF women.
III you do not derive prompt and salts
/ factory results from the use of pcruna
write at once to DR.. Hartman, giving &
| full statement of Your case and he vii
4 be pleased to give you his valuable ad
/ vice gratis.
Address DIR. Hartman. President O
| The Hartman Sanitari,lln Columbus q
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

Ii the nerves Jingle, il the brain is
tired, it the strength is tagging and the
circulation of blood weakened by habby
mucous membranes of the digestive
organs, Peruna reaches the spot at once
by giving to these membranes the vi
tality and activity which belongs to
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

'.Peruna and NIanalin have done me
them with pleasure to all who suffer
with nervous caturrh of the stomach as
did. Should such disease ever attack
me again l shall Immediately take Pc
runa. l now feel very we'll and have Il
good appetite all the time. ] have gaincl
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

viii cure these women - why
! it, If you are III, ard really want to
do not lei any drug clerk persuade you
ica is better, Sor that is absurd. AslE
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09

Peruna puts right all the mucous mem
brnncs of the body, and in this way
restores The functions of every organ.
Ii it is the stomach that is ont of
runa quickly makes things right by
restoring tho ,plcnns membrane of the
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-05-09
Mrs. Al. Wetzel 81 South 18th street,

III all the tired women and all the ncr-
vous women and all the women that
needed tonic would read and heed the
have spoken right to the point, how
many inval,ls would he prevented AMI
how many wrctchcd lives be made
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-05-07
Tribute to Major Russell.

Major Andrew n. Russell, assistant to
the chief of ordnance L. S. A, has for
the past two years had immediate charge
of the branch of the ordnance department
located at No. 1744 G street northwest.
The work performed there is auditing and
settling accounts of army officers of all
grades who may become responsible for
ordnance and ordnance stores. To the re-
gret of his civilian employees he has been
relieved from duty here and assigned to a
much more important post, that of chief
ordnance officer division of the Philippines.
At a meeting of the clerks of the Office
resolutions expressing regret of the en-
ployes and testifying to his able manage
ment of the office Were unanimously
adopted.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-05-07

Assistant Secretary Taylor of the Treas
ury Department today awarded the con-
tract for furnishing ice to the government
buildings in New York city and Brooklyn
to the American Ice Company of New
York Ice is to be delivered at 14la cents
a hundred pounds. 1t is estimated that
about 1000, 600 pounds will be used within
the fiscal year 1t is said at the Treasury
Department that the price paid by con-
sumers in New York is % and 30 cents a
hundred pounds, and the department is
much gratified at securing this large re-
duction.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-05-07
DooRFoRcED, HOF NO THEFT
SPEAKERS ROOM AT THE CAPITOL.
oPENEH9
investigation Fails to Reveal the Loss
of Alphabetically Was Tenn
porarily rnsu2raed.

There is a mystery about the room of
the Speaker of the House. of Representa-
tiveS at the Capitol. Sunday night the door
of the room was found dpeiSand it was evil
dent that it had been forced. The latch
was broken off, together with portion of
the door. The forced door suggested bur-
glary and at once an investigation was be-
gun.
johnson and Neal, both employed by the
Speaker of the House, who have constant
access to the room, were sent for. Johnson
has charge of the Speakers papers of va
rious kinds, and Nea' looks after the con-
tents of the room generally, including the
slyerware that is kept there. They both
examined everything in the room and de-
clared that nothing was missing, in fact,
nothing had been disturbed, and they said
they would not have known that anybody
had been in the room from the appearance
of things.
There the mystery of the broken door
rests. No one knows anything more about
It, and it is said there is absolutely no
clue to the guilty person. AS no harm has
been done, so far as is Known the matter
is causing little concern. except the shak-
ing up which the captain of police is giving
the men who should have known something
of such a happening. The breaking of the
tain Of police, because it shows what might
be done with more serious result.
Temporarily Left Unguarded.
The officer on guard near the Speakers
door Sunday evening reported that he tried
that door and found it locked. At o'clock
the sergeant ordered the man on watch
there to relieve another officer who wanted
to get his lunch, and in that way for an
hour that particular locality was left I'M
guarded. When the officer on guard re-
turned he found the Speakers door broken
open. No noise had been heard by any
body, and no other than employees of
the government were known to be in the
building at the time.
. The office of the Sergea nt-at-arms of the
House is near the Speakers room and at
times considerable money Is in the safe
the amount of cash on hand is not large.
Police Sargent Suspended.
The captain of police has suspended the
sergeant who made it possible by his order
for the Speakers room to be unguarded for
an hour, which it is said he never had
authority to do Strict measures are being
taken to insure the constant presence of
every member of the force on his post of
duty, and leaving any station unguartlad in
order to get lunch 1t is said will not again
occur.
In the Speakers room. when the door was
broken open, there were three boxes of Mr.
Henderson's private papers packed and
ready for shipment to him. There was a
fourth box partly packed. The breaking of
the door gave rise to rumor that an at
| tempt had been made by some one to secure
some valuable private paper, but as stated
there was no evidence that ANYTHING had
been touched.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-05-07
Minor Offenders Disposed OF.

In the District branch of the Police Court
today Judge kimball disposed Of the fol-
lowing cases: Champ Holland, tramp,
striking Private Waterman Clinton O'Neil
and disorderly conduct, SIS or forty-five
days in the workhouse; James Martin, who
said he had no home, sent to the work.
house at his own request for two months;
John Williams, who gave his address as
Soldiers Home and was said to have been
disorderly in Coa's alley, fined $40, with
thirty days in default; John Wise, an al
legged vagrant from Armory place, sent
down for four months.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-05-07
SULTAN SHOOTS A PHYSICIAN.
Latter In Treating Him Caused Him
Some Pain.

LONDON. May Tt is rumored," says
the Constantinople correspondent of the
Daily Express, that the sultan shot dead
a physician who, while attending him for
ear complaint and massaging him, unwit-
tingly caused his majesty intense pain.
The chamberlain rushed into the room,
and the sultan who supposed there was an
attempt upon his life, fired again, wound
ing the chamberlain"