The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-06-03
1T MUST BE THE CLIMATE.
In England American Hotel IndicR-
tors Play Sad Tricks with the In
RxneriNneeH
From The London Onlooker.

From The London Onlooker
Come, l said, recollecting that
Come" is the term one generally uses
in America when a knock comes to your
bedroom door. and as l was staying III
a hotel which boosted that it was run
on American principles l wished to show
that l was accustomed to American man.
nerS.
A smart page boy entered the room,
bearing a lemon and a pair of squeezers
on a tray. l looked at him in astonish-
ment.
What have you brought me lemon
for?" | asked rs this delicate Ameri-
can attention."
you ordered one. madam"
Il ordered bath" l said, land 1 don t
think that even in France they would eX-
pect you to wash off the dust of a three
days journey with one pale lemon and a
pair of squeezers."
Sorry, madam. but the indicator point
ed to a lemon and it was my work to
bring one up to 49,"
Perhaps I set THE indicator wrong"
said; but 1t doesn't matter Will you
please order me a bath or tell the cham
bermaid to come to me?'
Sorry, madam, but I'm attached to
the indicator only. You must be careful
how you set it: place the finger on the
disk at the words hot bath"
l interrupted him. "Oh, yes, know all
that. l followed the instructions most
carefully. But if you can't order me a
bath you can go. Leave the lemon,
please"
| set the indicator very carefully for the
second time. and waited for the impor-
tant knock on the door. had not to
wait long however, for the indicator was
certainly answered more promptly than
any bell 1 ever rang. A fresh page boy
knocked al the door and entered, and l
detected a look of mild surprise on his
face when he saw me. mo. 80 was evil
expected would order a glass of port wine
at $50 A. M.
l allowed him to place the wine on the
table beside the lemon before 1 spoke.
II wanted a hot BATH" / said, land
you have brought me a glass of port wine.
Are you boys playing practical joke
on me?"
Certainly not, madam; I am sorry, but
the indicator pointed to port wine and
it was my bushes to fetch it to Room
49,"
Then I certainly don't understand the
Indicator" / said. "Wnl you kindly set
it, for l suppose you are not allowed to
order me bath?'
No Very sorry, madam. but L am at
tached to the indicator; l can't take or
give any orders"
He wound up the machine with an air
of great superiority, and then left the
room sat down and waited TO see what
would happen.
still more startling knock came to
the door, and this time full-grown man
fNa1N al x6a
take your luggage?"
Take my luggage!' 1 said in tones of
despair. Pm in my dressing gown! l or
dered a hot BATH
Very sorry, madam, but the indicator
pointed to night porter and cab.
For heavens sake" 1 said, go down
stairs and ask some one to order me a
| bath. and send the cab away"
Pm sorry, madam, but the bath is out
of my line, but IN send the cab away
In moment he had disappeared.
1 searched the room for an honest bell,
but there was none to be seen, so there
was nothing to be done but to try the in
dicator again. 1t was evidently a very
| delicate machine which required know
| ing.
In less than FIVE minutes the first page
boy who had brought me a lemon bounded
| into my room carrying a large pitcher OF
iced water on his arm.
+ ''You young wretch l said, you know
quite well that have been indicating for
a bath for the last half hour and more.
WHY did YOU fetch up that iced water?'
Sorry, madam he said, with merry
twinkle in his eye. IT'S my duty to fetch
I'D to the rooms whatever article the
finger on the disk pointed to; we've got
to do it quick and sharp. I'd nave got
into trouble if l hadn't attended TO my
orders"
81 wish to goodness" said, that there
was a sensible bell in this room, or that
one of your indicator boys was allowed
to carry message or that some one
who isn't attached to the INDICATOR WouIu
come to the door"
VERY sorry, madam, but I'd get my dis
charge if 1 do anything but obey the in
dictator. Try the blooming thing again. y
he suggested sit might point to bath
this time; you never know your luck.
There was nothing else to do but to
try nv luck as he had suggested, and
this time 1 waited with some degree of
curiousity to see what would appear.
The knock came to the door again, fol-
lowed in a moment by a waiter with
Continental Bradshaw upon silver
charger How l wished 1t was the mana
gers head!
"Put that Bradshaw down." I said.
"besde the lemons and the port wine and
the iced water. I'm quite tired of play
ing this game; l ordered a bath, and all
these thing have been brought to me in
stead"
The waiter put the Bradshaw down on
the table and glanced at the Indicator
with supreme contempt. These ma
chimes he said. may be all right in
America. but they don't seem to suit the
English climate. I've just been and fetch
ed IN bottle of whiskey and soda water
to an old lady as occupies Room So. She's
holding temperance NEE ting this after
noon. and she thinks as how I'm playing
a practical joke on her"
The other three times | tried my LUCK,
but without success; telegraph form, hot
water for shaving. and list Of the Lon
don theaters were fetched to me with
great promptness and considerable dis
play of nice feeling. My last attempt, how
ever brought the manager; the finger
| had pointed to his august name, which
afforded me an opportunity OF expressing
NV feelings upon tbs subject Of Amer-
A,If