Evening star., 1901-07-13

the case. Those years of companionship In
the classroom and the campus have
given that mutual knowledge which would
De the foundation, and have developed that
similarity of tastes and pursuits which Is
essential to congenial union. This rule
holos good where men and women in the
same profession marry, as physicians, law
yerS, ministers, writers, teachers / have
known of scarcely an instance where such
marriage turned out unhappily, and this
must be because of the congeniality of dis
position which leads both into the same
line OF work and prompts them to continue
1t together. Society is apt to condemn mar
r1ase between an employer and his book
Keeper or Stenographer. and Yet their daily
COmpanionShfp has given ca ch an insight of
the habits and disposition of the other, and
SHOWN their ability to work together har-
monlously. Where such marriages are
founded on mutual respect and affection
the chances ought to be in favor of their
proving satisfactory, if We accept the pre-
mise that thorough acquaintance is
prime requisite for successful union.
y prominent reason why many marriages
are failures is found in the imperfect de-
Veiopment of men and women. While
neither would expect to succeed in any
kind of business without a special training.
they rush bindly and recklessly into this
most complex and eNacting of all lfe's re-
lationS and are amazed when bankruptcy
stares them in the face. 1t is not possible
to take up in detail the numerous causes
which lead to this result the infirmities of
temper, the lack of Seif-coutrol and for
bearance, the business incapa city of the
husband, the domestic inaptitude of the
wife, the total want OF equilibrium
which viii enable them to meet their in
eVitable difficulties with calmneSs ard for
ttude. The vices of youth prove too strong
for the man to lay aside, and, carried into
married life, produce the usual wreck. The
frivolous, superficial attractions which rem
dered the girl so charming prove wholly in
adequate to retain the husbands love, and
he has nothing more enduring to offer. The
foundations of a perfect marriage cannot
be laid deficient 3phOOI and
manhood.
Mutual Respect and Love.
This brings us back to our original propo-
stion that the ideal marriage must be
founded on that mutual respect which is
possible only between equals and out of
this will grow the only love which is un-
changeable. John Stuart Mill is often
quoted as having said NO ordinary man
Is willing to find at his own fireside an
equal IN the person he calls Wife This
may have been true when 1t written,
but new generation of womeA have come
INTO existence since that time and they
nave revolutionized the old ideals. Even
the ordinary man expects far more of
the person he calls wife now than in
days past while the most progressive men
are demanding, If not their equals, certain
~ more advanced womauhood than the
world ever before has seen. Although the
women of the United States stand more
nearly on an equality with the men than
proportion Of men here marry than in any
other country. Such statistics prove that
Whlle increased opportunities in life may
make some women SO eXaCting in the
choice of d husband as to prevent marriage
altogether, they do not deter a constantly
increasing number of men from marrying.
Men themselves are continually raising the
standard for wives, and women are striv-
ing TO reach it, but no sooner has this been
done than they themselves fix a nobler
standard for husbands. Thus each assists
the other to rise, and both attain a higher
level; while the nearer that of the woman
approaches that of the man the greater be-
comes his respect for her. In the realm of
education she has gained hundred fold in
his regard since he has learned that her
mental powers are not inferior to his own.
rms Is equally true in the business world,
since she has demonstrated her capacity in
its many and varied departments The
logical conclusion, therefore. cannot be
eVaded that there must be corresponding
increase Of respect when she takes her
rightful place in affairs of government
This evolution is developing not only
women, but men, and it is producing a
greater mutual regard than ever has exist
ed In the history of the race. Eventually
this attitude must extend to the relations
between husbands and wives. with the In
evitable result that. in the fullness of time
there Will be no necessity to inquire why so
many marriages are failures.