The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-09-06

has sue turOWn you over! mo-
that's just what she refuses to do"
Maud-Td hate to think that you'd
throw yourself at Fred. Mamie-Why
not? He's a good catch.-Harlem Life.
Penelope-1'll just ruin my complex
ion going in bathing so much. Perdita
Il wouldn't care. No one will notice
it,"
Soak-Do you always pay as you go?
Freshby-Always. Soak-Why? Fresh
ly-Because they wont let me go with
out. .## = a w.
She They say his business is a great
success. He-Yes; the: firm; paid him
ten thousand dollars a year to stay
away from it.
Engaging Frankness. - Millie-She
told him everything. Tillie-What
candor! Millie-And what a memory!
-Pick-Me-Up.
: did Mrs. Highlife's travelling gown
fit well?' Eyes; but it cost SO much
she had to give up her trip and stay at
home -Tit-Bits.
Robson-Do you think fishes can
hear? Dobson-1 should hope not. Lis
ten to old Smith-he's smashed his rod!
New York Tribune.
"a missing Michigan girl is thought
to be the victim Of love or somnambu-
lism." ''Well, in either case she'll wake
p."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Editor-Tim, If young Mr.. Jackson
calls this morning, tell him I'll see him
at 2 o'clock: Tim-Yis, sorr; and what
shall tell him If he don't call?
Never Too Late.-"1'm eighty years
and never smoked in my life." well,
don't get discouraged; you probably
will afterward." indianapolis News.
First Lawyer-I just concluded very
successful case. Second Lawyer-Your
client won, Ell? First Lawyer-Oh, no;
but I got my fees.-Ohio State Journal
Mrs. Graball-Ther boarders air kick
in bout Their milk bein' so blue. Far
mer Graball-Tell 'em Their caow won't
eat nuthin' 'cept blue grass.-Leslie's
Weekly.
Bobbs- There goes a fellow who
makes extravagant statements. Dobbs
He looks respectable. Who is he.
Bobbs-1 don't know his name. He
writes our gas bills.
Manager-1 am sorry that you wish to
resign. What is the trouble? Star
1t is too much Of strain on me to try
to live up to the salary your press agent
says get.-Baltimore Herald.
Admitting Mother-Now, Tommy,
what do you say to Mr.. Bildad for CIV
ing you that penny? Tommy-Please,
Mr.. Bildad, wisht it wuz a Nickel
Ohio State Journal.
my wife makes me stand round-1
can't deny that" Doesn't it humiliate
you" "No; our baby is the living image
Of me-and he makes her stand round"
Chicago Record-Herald.
"Does Mrs. Smith consider hurting
as wicked a pursuit as she used top
"Well, no. You see her husband gives
her all the feathers from the birds he
brings home, and she is making set
Of down pillows"
"Snicker's jokes are very thin," COM
planned Dinsmore. "Perhaps he makes
them that way for your special bene-
ft," suggested Winterbottom. Flows
that?" ITO enable you to see through
them."-Ohio State Journal.
srawber- Clubberly rather gave him.
self away when he went to church with
Miss Summit the other day. Singerly-
What did he do? Strawber-He want
ed the usher to check his hat and coat.
Mabel-What made you accept Algy7
Clara-Algy.
"How does it happen" inquired the
stranger, that all the improvements
are being made in this one street?"
1T doesn't happen at all, SIR" replied
the citizen who was showing him about
the place majestically. 'This is the
street live in. I am chairman Of the
Town Council, sir"
Tess There goes Ursula Hope with
Jack Timmid. Jess-Yes, she's setting
her cap for him. Tess-Do you really
think she cares for him? Jess-Yes,
indeed. You know her full name is
URSULA May Hope. Well, she signs
all her letters to him now: III. May
Hope."-Philadelphia Press.
Mother-I wish you would go on an
errand for me. Small Sonny leg
aches awful. Mother-Too bad. I
wanted you to go to old Mrs. Stickney's
sweetshop, and Small Son-Oh, that
isn't far. I can walk there easy. Moth
cr-Very we'll. Go there, and just be-
side it you will see grocer's shop. Go
in and get me bar Of soap.
'Henrietta," said Mr.. Meekton, as he
paused on the front step, "could you
remember what it was you said yester-
day when you so properly reproved me
for leaving the door open? Il think
I can; but hope l shall not have oe-
casion to say 1t again" "Could you
give me the exact tones and the ges-
tures?' Eyes" "Well, I wish you
would. have an Office boy who leaves
the door open continually, and II you