The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1901-04-05
Kansas Clips and Comments

lie DdlluN L Z Will DullN NhN lui ENou
round house on earth near Kansas
City.
The Burlington Independent wants
to have Fred Funston made Duke at
once.
John Brown, Mound City butcher,
stands feet inches and weighs 1864
pounds.
At Newton preacher Numbered
from the pulpit Sunday on the text,
"a Whack at the Universe.
The Burlington Republican thinks
Mrs. Nations trip to Kentucky is
proof positive that she is insane.
Funston got Aguinaldo and he ought
to be in Dewey class. Dewey took one
fleet, and Funston took a fleet
one.
The Highland Vidette, basing its
Judgment on obituary notices, says it
thinks there are more dead than living
Christians.
The 23d of March will hereafter be
day of celebration in Kansas. Which
is lucky since there is to be no more
4th of July.
Colony is to have a creamery and
the Free Press says that 'if we all work
together it will be success" 1--WE"
includes the COWS
Despite the utmost care, errors of
the most "obvious" kind creep into the
paper, truthfully asserts and proves
the Concordia Press.
Marion Record: A henpecked hus-
band is no more pitiable than a
roosterpecked wife. And there are
more of these than those.
300 Italians are working on the rail-
road near Garnett and not a Dagoes
by that the town baker doesn't sell
them POO loaves of bread.
An Usage City ieweler taxed
young man $3.50 for repairing an
eighty-fve cent watch. There's no
chance for a poor boy in this life.
Atchison Globe: About the most
worthless thing in the world is a girl
too good to work and who is not good
enough to induce a prince to marry
her.
Billy Morgan sneers at Boni Cas-
telaine's claim to repute because he
cannot live on $25, 900 a year. Morgan
says he never tried to squeeze along
on that sum.
Tom Alley, of Abilene, who says
for twenty years he has predicted
about the corn crops and never
missed, says that the crop of 1901 will
be whopper.
Lodge rivalry is so keen at FIT. Scott
Nplo,.c hau nlatnlV
dropped the initiation fee. The
rule, however.
Atchison and Lawrence which ac-
cepted Carnegie's offer of $50, 900
library are now staring at the $1,000
annual maintenance bill and 'regret'
fully" declining.
Robert Williams is to be tried for
insanity at Abilene and there is no
doubt he is H'it.n He claims TO be
William Mckinley and brother to
William Bryan.
A Coffey county boy found very
young infant squirrel and took it
home where the house cat, mourning
all but one of young litter, adopted
and is raising it.
Someone stole Rev. Bradt's bicycle
from his front porch at Wichita and
rather thinks the thief was member
of his congregation who disapprOved
of the combination.
Congressman Bowersock owns 60
lots in Arkansas City, and the town
hopes through bin to have the Arkan-
sas river deepened and a deep sea
harbor established near town.
The poor car of Russia has such
trouble in keeping from getting blown
up it puzzles Kansas people why he
don't come west, make a run to the
Kiowa country and start life over.
Salina offers beautiful site but no
money to get that new Swedish Mis-.
sion College, while Lindsborg "sights"
which sight is most easily visible to
the board.
The new telephone line between
Emporia and Cottonwood Falls also
hooks onto ten ranches between. The
time is coming when all well-to-do
farmers will be connected with the
world by wire.
The reorganized Ft Scott street car
system pays so well that it is planned
to double the number of cars. Three
are now used, so even with the increase
one can dodge across the tracks, if he
is real smart.
People out in the buffalo ship
country are interested in the story
that an Omaha man has invented a
mixture of petroleum and other in
gradients whichmixed with earth make
fine fuel at 50. so ton.
The regular army officers who got
their interviews in the evening papers
the day before news of Aguinaldo's
capture appeared, probably think that
Wednesday was more properly "all
fools day" than April |.
Fred Vandeveer, formerly of Hutch
inson, is trying to reform the slums of
st. Louis. The other day a mob of
toughs disturbed his meeting and
after trying moral suasion he rubbed
religion into their faces with his
fists.
Ed Hoob thinkc nraaobars ,,uot