New-York tribune., 1901-03-17
TIE T4LK OF THE DAY.

1.-The Chicago Inter Ocean remarks: ''Is the
estinable ladies and gentlemen who induced Con-
gress TO abolish the army canteen could have Wis
tied Hghwood and Fort Sheridan Thursday night
their ideas on the subject Of temperance reform
would have been considerably altered At High
wood they would have found all the old and sev-
eral new saloons filled with soldiers drinking and
gambling in the company Of vile characters Of
both sexes. Later in the night they would have
found in the Fort Sheridan barracks more drunken
sleepers and more absent without leave than
have been recorded for years"
Hrown-so you lost your lawsuit with SMITH
Jones-Yes; but it's satisfaction to know that
'But didn't YOU have to pay him 81 COO damages"
Record.
Sisnor Matteucci. who has been studying vesuv-
US for many years. saws that from July. 1885, St
kept constantly active for more than four years.
the flow Of lava ceasing in September. 1899. The
depth of the crater was then over 600 feet Last
April the lava rose to within 30 feet OF the top.
when series of explosions within the crater be-
gan. Some blocks Of lava projected 1900 feet
perpendicularly into the air. One block weighed
thirty tons. and Signor Matteucc estimates that it
took $1,000 horse power to eject it, Five hundred
thousand cubic yards of lava and ashes
belched forth in April and May. The crater is
thirty feet higher than before. that Vesuvius
rises 1900 feet above level
An old farmer in Scotland once went to have a
troublesome tooth extracted. Said the dentist.
after looking at the offending moar:
have il out by the painless system. 1t is only
He showed the farmer the apparatus for admin
istering gas. remarkins that it would him TO
tooth Would be out After Slight resista2ce the
sufferer consented. proceeding 20 open his purse.
oh never mind paying just now!' said the
'Hoots,'' answered the cautious old Scot. "A
wasn't thinking q that; but If Am ga'en Ia sleep
y thocht n wad like Ia count ma siIer fust."-
Glasgow Evening Times
\ hfteen-year-oId girl in Chapman KAN tried
to commit suicide the other day because her
mother would not let her marry widower, forty
seven years old.
OF the previous witness. that the defendant saman
dered his inheritance. Please give che reason for
Wines tried three or four times, to get him
ways smiled and Informed me that he was not
born yesterday.-tBoston Transcript.
The extra stationery used ny the British Gov
ernment during the South African cost $Oc,oO0.
Mamma-Johuny l want YOU to be good to-day.
Johnny will be gOod if you'll gimme nickel
you cannot be a child of mIne unless you are good
for nothins.-VhiladelPhia Press
a correspondent writes to The London Daily
News to protest against the proposal white
wash Westminster Abbey, which. he asserts.
would be gross piece of vandalism as that
outrageous blot the Tower Hnl-the red brick
building recently erected which entirely mars the
scene and is Of all keeping with the gray stone
battlements of our grand historic castle. But
Abbey" he eXclams; surely every voice in the
land would be raised against the sacrieGe and
daliSm of whitewash there, Oil IL. IL need be- and
preserve the dear old pile-but chalk it, never!'
Mrs; Greene-Mrs. Kreesus is sick of her bargain
already II Is plain to see and probably wishes she
Mr.. Graene-kreeSus. they say. is made of money
and naturally his wife wants to change him-(Bos-
ton Transcript.
German postmasters have been so annoyed by
eccentrictties in the shapes and sizes of the en-
velopes inclosing mail matter that bill is To be
introduced in the Reichstas prescribing the size
and shape of envelopes. PoStmasers in this coun-
try watching the bill with interest and hoping
for similar The chief annoyance is the de- /
lay in stamping the letters with postmark and can
ceiling stamps for these odd shaped and odd sized /
missives will not pass through the stamping ma !
chine in such way to receive the stamp prop +,
erly, and have to be gone over again by hand.
Tennyson is said to have been fond of foolish 4
fun, that delightful sort OF fun which is NOT
wit. but nonsense. One day Burlington House /
ne asked the guests a conundrum which he had /
Who are the greatest women in the world?"
Miss Ourt, the Misses Ippi and Sara CosSa -"
youths Companion.
The Baltimore City Directory for 1901 itlst issued
indicates a population of $50. SIP for Baltimore
What is the use of mans getting into a crowd
a no Selling as he does at baseball game
ISreat heavens exclaimed the enthusiast
Hes got 10 do II in crowd. IT he were 10 90 |
away by himself and yell in that manner tbsy
would have him in lunatic ASYLUM In less ths, |
week. ek.'-tWashington Star ~ .