The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-03-25
BILL WAS
A JEWEL.

Taney county, Missouri, 10 live with them
the members OF the Edwards family de-
cided to make the best OF A. The head
of the family prepared them for II IN
advance.
81 suppose, my dear he said 10 his
wife the day before "Bnl" was due. ''thsi
William win be a rough diamond"
When the Edwards girls got glimpse
OF their cousin as he stamped into the
front han they were certain about the
roughness, and were even inclined 10
question whether the diamond might not
be paste rather than genuine.
"Bill" had evidently not enjoyed a shave
for some days before he left tho Bald
Knob country 10 seek his fortune in Chic
ago. lie was chewing tobacco. Ills
slouch hat was faded Ia a soft greenish
brown and was frescoed with grease
spots. lie wore trousers the two leg OF
which were never intended TO be mates,
and his coat was extremely short and
shiny His boots were deeply wrinkled
and covered with dust. lie wore blue
checkered shirt and a white paper collar
innocent OF tie, but guilty OF sundry
stains and spots. In the buttonhole OF
the collar sparkled large prize packa sc
button finished In green brass.
Cousin "Blll's" manners were as infor-
NAL as his raiment lie made the Ed
wards family feel at home at once. He put
his feet on the library table. insisted on
kissing the girls good night and gave a
performance at the dinner table which
was startling in the extreme. When he
finally retired for the night the Edwards
family heayed collective Sigh Of relief
and apprehension.
20, we'll" said Mr. Edwards, cheerful
~, sit VIII only take u few months I'm the
city 10 civilze him. He'll be a different
fellow within six weeks"
AT the end OF "A month BIZ showed
no signs OF Improvement that were visi-
BILE TO the naked eye. MIR. Edwards
brought home most encouraging reports
OF his progress I'm a business way. He had
actically taken charge of the shipping
department at the store and displayed
much ability i'm handling the packers ana
getting the goods out on time. Incident
ally. he had licked" big truckman who
objected to his way of doing business.
But so far as personal appearance went
Bill" was still incorrigible. He shaved
when his whiskers interfered with sleep
ing soundly; he never BACKED his boots
and stuck TO his peculiar clothes with a
devotion worthy of a porous plaster
Through IL all he maintained the calm and
cheerful Inconsistencies OF an infant,
while the rest OF the family suffered ia
silence.
Finally Mr.. Edwards took IL upon him.
self 10 give the young man some good
advice. He began by complmenting him
upon the progress he had made at the
store, and then as delicately as possible,
went on TO suggest that these new re-
sponsibilities made IL necessary for him
To live up To the position In the way OF
dress and personal appearance. "Bilr'
listened 90 all i'm silence. and thanked
Mr. Edwards for his Kindness. The Ed
wards girls backed up their fathers APP
peal by marking such proverbs az
clothes make "a man and leaving them
about where "Bill'' would be sure 10 see
them. In spite Of all their efforts there
was no Improvement "Bilr' continued TO do
his work at the store i'm "A way which ex-
cited the admiration of his superior. lie
also continued To shock all the refined
instincts of the Edwards family by his
uncouth manner and dress.
so the weeks went by and "Bilrs"
clothes finally reached stage where II
seemed necessary To adopt heroic meas
ures Bill was told as tastfully as
possible that he must get a new suit. He
obeyed orders. lie came home one night
wearing an outfit that would have made
the fortune OF low comedian. In color II
was modelled after a cake of mottled cas-
tile soap. one OF the trousers legs had
been amputated below the knee, and the
coat was suffering from enlargement OF
the shoulder blades. After one glimpse
OF "Bills" new suit the Edwards family
gave IL up. "Bll' was evidently intend
ed as a permanent infiction. They would
90 the best they could under the circum-
stances, and make no further effort to
accomplish the impossible.
Then just when the dark clouds of de-
spair seemed 10 have settled down for
good over the Edwards family, a bright
gleam' OF hope lighted UP the horizon
A. first IL seemed too good TO be true
Then suddenly IL widened, until from ma.
dir to zenith all was light. In the short
space OF two months Bill was trans
formed into Mr. William Clarence Ed
wards, with his name engraved on steel
his feet incased In patent leather and his
garments of the sartorial model for a
large section of the south side
Most people will jump to the conclusion
that girl was responsible for this won
derful transformation scene. AS a mat
ter of fact, a girl had nothing 10 do with
IT, An accidental umbrella was the cause
Of IL all.
The Edwards family have n rich uncle
who lives In New York. Each year ne
sends Christmas box containing pres
ents for all his nephews and nieces. This
year he had happened to hear that "Bill
was new addition to the family. Ac-
cordingly "Bill's" name went on the
Christmas list. and when the box was
opened among the other gifts was found
a fine gold headed silk umbrella with
"William G. Edwards" engraved In fancy
script on the handle.
The New York uncle was man who
bought the best OF every thing when II
came to Christmas presents, and. accord
ingly. the new umbrella was "a most i'm.
pressive piece OF furniture. The silk was
heavy and lustrous, the stick was ol
some rare wood. and the head was mas
sive and heavy crook of gold "Bilrs
previous experience with umbrellas had
been extremely limited. He had always
gone on the principle that rain was calcu-
lated To make both vegetables and boys
grow faster. The mere feel OF the new
umbrella in his hand oppressed him. But
IL was by far the rarest and most Valti.
able OF his possessions. aud hc felt In