Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1901-09-05

AN AMERICANS ORDER OF OYSTERS
IN A LONDON RES TAURANT.
A Joke That Was Taken In solemn
Earnest and n subsequent EN-
pInnntion That wouid Not lie Ac-
ccpted as the Truth.

1.-THE English people, or at least as
many of them as we meet about London,
are beginning to know u.s. said the re-
turned traveller. "Stories of wild red
Indians on Manhattan Island and buffalo
hunts in the adjacent territory don't 81
any more. a quarter Of a century ago
you could stuff EN- with any kind of
yarn if the scene was laid in the United
States and the actors were Americans.
Now you are apt to get laughed al if you
spring any dime novel stories on the ay-
erage man in the street.
"Once when | was in London on a
business trip | was seized with n great
longing for oysters. Visions of them
broilcd steamed and on the half SHE'LL
such as | used to eat in New York, Bal
timore and Washington, haunted me ev-
cry time | sat down to a meal, but none
of them ever appeared on the table.
English friends assured me that could
get them if only went to the right place,
but ! never succeeded in getting any II
these men to give me the address. One
day | started out to find an oyster house
on my own hook.
In the Strand | found what | was
looking for. 1t was typical London
eating house, but the sign, Oysters In
Every Style reminded me of home. |
entered and as a feeler ordered dozen
on the half shell. The waiter who serv-
ell me was as solemn as bishop. The
oysters he brought me were the smallest
and mcanest looking bivalvcs | ever saw.
They had a shriyeled ny, forlorn look
about them that was not at all tempting
and there was nothing in the taste of
them to remind me of the delicious Blue
Point or the more robust Rockaway.
when l had finished eating them,
thought it would be "a good idea to carry
away the shells to show my friends at
home. They would serve as a warning
to any one intending to cross the ocean
against oysters as they are served in
England's capital. So | wiped the shells
dry with my napkin and slipped them
into my pocket
when the solemn looking waiter re-
turned to take the rest Of my order, he
looked first at my plate and then at me.
Then he glanced about the floor on both
sides Of my chair and finally stopped
and looked under the table.
"'Yhats the troubleY l asked Ian
gudly.
BEG pardon, sir he said, but
what's become Of the shells"
"'Do YOU mean the oyster shells" l
asked, without any particular show Of
interest.
"'Most certainly he returned, again
poking his head under the table. Hits
most strange, whatever has become of
them
"'Nothing strange about it,, said
calmly. i ate them
"'IIatc them" he cried his eyes bug
ing. You must be joking, sir.
"'Not at all went on. Everybody
in America, where l live, eats the shell
rs well as the oyster. In fact, in some
Of the states they throw the oysters away
and eat the shells alone. In Georgia
they eat them with clay.
"The walters jaw dropped and his eyes
continued to bulge. He was so tlustered
that he got his orders mixed and brought
me the food intended for somebody else.
He got things Strengthened out after
awhile, but the loot of dumb Amusement
never left his face.
"Aftey had eaten the meal | glanced
leisurely around and saw with surprise
thar nearly every eye in the place was
fastened on me. The waiter who served
me was talking to the man at the desk,
who. | afterward learned, was the pro-
prietor, and he was craninc his neck to
get look at me-
Its the shells that's botherinc them,
| said to myself. We'll, III keep them
guessing as a reward for the meaSly oys
tiers they gave mo.
"Whcn | started to go ont, the proprie-
1