The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-05-18

studies. Tommy-And you sat and
listened to her? Mamma, don't you
know it takes two persons to gossip
Boston Transcript
Maggie-Dat lobster, Jimmie O'Reo-
ney, don't realize wot a woman's love
means!
Kati-Nopel His mudder's whaled
him 50 much she's queered de hull sexl
Judge.
isn't she?''
well. she's the kind of an artistic
person that would embroider a MadOn-
ma and child on sofa pilIow."-Chi-
cago Record-Herald.
Ethel, you can have my
apple why. what's the matter with
it ?''-HarDer's Bazer-
His Great Anxiety.-Ath
-break-it, Doctor?" Doctor-"I will
be plain with you. The arm is broken.
the coIlarbone crushed, the skull is frac-
tured-'' Athlete-'No, no, no! The
did break-the-'' '.What?'' Rec
ord ?''-Tit-Bit
Amply Described.-Mrs. GoodsouI (an-
swering ring)-'sWhat is it, little grip
Mary-t.Please, ma'am, we've lost our
kitty. She left yesterday, and were
have seen a cat by the name of Minerva
go by your house Puck.
Preparing for a Siege -Wife-''The
last time asked you to give me some
money you couldn't because the cashier
was sick-noW you say it's the treas
urer." Husband-s'I know 1.-THE caught
it from the cashier, and now I'm afraid
the secretary will get it."-Life
Chimmy-ssDon't yer wish yer had big
eyes. like dat Fauntlerop Van Gibbons
kid?" Billy-"Naw! He might be all
rio H.
he amt in it when it comes to squintin'
through a nailhole in de baseball
fence ''-Philadelphia Record.
The Premium on Plagiary.- What
made you tell that manager the ideas in
your play We're not originate" Be
cause answered the mercenary genius,
IF 1 had told him they were original,
he would have taken it for granted that
they We're no good. washington
Star.
Easily Fixed.-s'A man named John
JONES' said the country editors as
sistant, writes to US to stop his paper,
but he doesn't give his address"
Wei" replied the editor, drop MIN a
postal and tell him we can't stop his
paper unless he gives US his address
Philadelphia Press.
more whisky than any other American
city?"
II have seen it so stated
Then how does it manage to main
tain its reputation for unbroken cor
rectness of speech?" = Philadelphia
Times.
Mr.. NewIywed-If-if should be killed
by this automobile, Marie, 1 want no
weeping at my funeral I want every
body to be cheerful.
Mrs Newlyvved-Nonsense John. I
shall have to weep a little, just for the
looks of the thing.-Judge.
He-Do you like my brother better
shegWhat salary does he get?-Tit-
Bits.
Il thought, Mrs. Sharp. I'd stop and
ask how you We're 1 must go again i'm
you are very kind and thoughtful.
Mrs. Borum. ''-Philadelphia Times.
Money don't bring happiness, but it
no quarrel ter make" says Brother
Dickey.
BiIl-Example is a great thing.
Jill-That's so: but what are you
thinking of?
Why. I see up in Albany, where the
legislature meets. a minister is to speak
next Sunday on What are we Here
For? ''-Yonkers Statesman.
Depends-'sDo you think a man could
save money on a salary of 81 to SO a
day?'' He might" said Senator SOr-
ghum, ref1ectively, IF he was drawing
that salary as a member of a state leg
islature. w ashington Star.
The Woman of t.-suburbs-'ewha
was that you said about the automatic
fire extinguisher? Mrs. Suburbs