Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1901-01-24
Bellows Falls Times
THURSDAY, JANUARY "a, 1901.
NEWS IN GENERAL.
AS 1T WELL MIGHT BE IMAGINED.
Old Reporter Gives His Impressions Of the
West Point lnvestig ation.

"SSt hNSStiSosios
There is one thing about this Booz in
vestigation that has impressed me particu-
Iarly," remarked an old reporter recently
ut is that every cadet who ba, thus far
testified has sorn positively that haziDg is
not Only painless but is decidedly beneficial
to the system, 1t develops the muscles,
promotes digestion, clears up the COM
plexion and removes conceit and freckles
at one and the same time. The young m N
are singularly unanimous on this point, and
remind me of the celebrated aggregation OF
Alger experts who testified that embslmed
beef was highly palatable and formed the
favorte diet of the United States private
soldier. So we seem to have been labor
ing under an entirely mistaken idea in re-
gard to hszipg," continued the old rapor-
ter, "and now that it has received such a
cordial and sweeping indorse ment, l louk
to see it take its proper place, not only N
the curriculum of colleges but as, subsli
tute for other methods of building up the
health Physical culture ha, become q
great fad in this country during recent
years, and it is almost impossible to open q
modern magazine without encount ering the
advertisements OF so-called institutes and
professors that guarantee to make W. ak
men strong by some more or less intricate
system OF gymnastics In future that will
all be done away with, ard you may look
for announcements running about like
thi, =
"'Throw away your dumb-bells! = Quit
unching the bag! ii Prot. .Jaysmith's new
system of home hazing will restore you to
robust health and buoy ant spirits inside of
| so days! 1t increases the W, light, invigo
rates the brain and cures stammering and
cross-eyes! Can be pTactised in sny re-
fined housebolr! Sp. cial course OF
wooden Willie" for licate or back
ward children! Makes them lively as
criokets and happy as larks Guaranteed
to leave no scars on the per on which
would excite unpleasant comment at an au-
top'y, p. s-Our improved pepper 'au e
course especially recommended tor invalids
with pulmonary tendencies and people of
weak digestion. Full directions, includ-
ing bottle OF sauce and pepper throat
sprayer, sent postpaid, secure ly scaled, for
SO. Catalogue on application
81 must admit that there does seem to
be certain amount of samene.s in tie evil
dence at the inquiry" said one of 'bt list
eners. "Sameness!" exclaimed the d re-
porter; 'it's the most beautiful instance of
unanimity on record! Rad the evidence
of one cadet, and you may lay the paper
aside and rest assured you are missing
nothing in the subsequent proceedings.
Here, for example, is about the way it
goes:-
Cadet Sol R. Plexus of Dead Mans
Gulch, ARR, next took the stand. He
was dressed in full corps Uniform and wor,
neat pearl-gray boxing gloves When
asked to tell what he knew about hazlng,
the witness reptile d -
I" There ba, been very little, and that
of an extremely mild type, such as making
a man stand on his head in a barrel of ice
water and repeat the articles OF war back
ward. Cadets are never hurt by that form
of exercise. They are always resusrtated
afterward, according to the Directions in
Case of Drowning, which ar o~ted in the
mess ball. Standing in the barrel is known
as doing the Double Damp. Fourth class
men seem to enjoy it very much. At least
l never heard anything to the contrary
while they were inside
d" Do you regard doing the Double
Damp as beneficial to the healtb?' asked
Gen. Clous.
Yes, sir; it seems to draw the blood
away from the feet and supplies it to the
brain, where it is needed to repair the
waste caused by study
What are some of the other hygieric
formulas used on fourth classmenp' inquired
Gen. Brooke.
en- walter, Hopping the Hurdle and Rid
ing the Pig They are all gentle aud
he athtul exercises. When a cadet does
Wooden Walter be is suspended BY hi,
thumbs from the ridge-pole of bis tent
while committee of first classmen slide
hot pennies down the back of his neck. Ii
always creates great deal OF merriment
Hopping the hurdle is merely Jump ng a
few dozen times bsrefooted over a barbed-
wire fence. In riding the pig the cadet
sits en- enc OF the campus beebives in his
psi mas, while the rest OF US count thou.
sanh Ii is not the last severe. Many
prefer it to the double DAMP
Did you ever observe any bad results
iron q fghr asked Gen. Bates
No, sir; quite the contrary. helped
carry in the last man who was called out,
and, except for broken nose and a few
missing teeth, be bore no marks whatever
of the encounter. have seen people worse
damaged who were merely hit by a trolly
car Cadet Plexus made very favorable
impression on the commission Hens ex-
trem ,ly popular With everybody at the
ACADEMY, except the instructors and fourth
clas,men, and he will be one OF the con-
testants next spring for the welter- light
championship belt. He is studying hard
for the honor, and it i, believed be will
carry off the coveted trophy"
That. fair sample of the daily pro-
ceedines." acdei the old reporter sit
was assigned to write up an event of thai
kind / wouldn't bother 10 stterd the curt
1t would be a clear waste of valuable time,
when could do it just as well in my bou.
doir."-New Orleans Times-Democrat.