Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-03-28

the speakers chair to which he was
often called while Mr.. Reed was
speaker. While Mr.. Lacey is noted
for being quick in repartee yet his
answers are such as not to stir up
wrath but of such a nature as to COM
mand the respect and thoughtful at
ltention of those to whom he replies
| think that the greatest mistake that
a member can make is to indulge too
freely in sarcasm. 1t is quite enter
tanning, however, to spectator but
lit leaves wound in the heart of the
one against whom it is used; eventu-
ALLY destroys a members influence
with those whose help he often needs
in passing meritorious measures.
Take for example the chairman of
postoffices and postroads in the house,
Mr.. Loud, of California. That COM
mittee reported a bill to remedy the
losses sustained by the government in
transmitting fourth-class mail matter
so that particular branch of the SER
vice would be more nearly
self sustaining; he was cross
and crabid and to his lack
of tact in that respect while manag-
ing 1T upon the floor of the house is due
| its defeat more than to any other
cause
Col. w. P. Hepburn is conceded to
be the best rough and tumble DICTATOR
in the house. If not interfered with
| While addressing the house his speech
will be broad and statesmanlike. but
woe to the novice who enters into a
| coloquy with Mr. Hepburn, especially
if he manifests disposition to gain a
| little newspaper political notoriety, the
| wi bot,in0
will receive in return will make him
feel as tho he had received genuine
congressional hazing.
Colonel Henderson has made very
satisfactory speaker. He has not had
the belligerent spirits to contend with.
however,that Mr.. Reed had when Jerry
Simpson, of Kansas. and James Hamil-
ton Lewis. of Washington. were in the
house. When the grasshoppers quit
eating the farm crops in Kansas the
farmers quit sending Jerry to congress.
jerry, tho very smart, was no match
for Reed. On one occasion, when
Simpson wanted to talk and a point
of order was raised against him, and
Mr.. Reed had ruled pointed and plain,
Mr.. Simpson proceeded as tho the rul-
ing had been in his favor, when in fact
it had been directly opposite. The
speaker called him to order, but Jerry
talked on and was again called to or
der. He then paused and said: Am
| to understand that the chair has
changed his mind and reversed his rul-
ing" Reed replied: No, the chair
can only make rulings; it cannot give
gentlemen comprehension to under
stand them
When the Philippine question was
being discussed in the Fifty-fifth con-
gress, Mr.. Simpson made a speech al
most reasonable in it's nature. Mr..
Canon, of Illinois, in a speech the next
day said: If the gentleman from
Kansas had made that speech before
the army in the Philippines that he
made on the floor of this house yester-
day he would have been courtmartialed
and shot When Mr. Cannon had con-
cluded his speech Jerry rose to a ques-
ton of privilege and said; The gen
tleman from Illinois has said that if |
had made the speech which | made on
the floor of the house yesterday before
the army in the Philippines that |
would have been courtmartialed and
shot. Now Mr. Speaker, if | had my
choice between being courtmartialed
and shot before the army in the Philip.
pines and being courtmartialed here on
the Hoor of the house and shot with an
old muzzle-loading brass cannon |
! would prefer the former This put
the house in an uproar of laughter and
the severe rebuke of Mr.. Cannon was
lost sight of.
John Allen, of Mississippi has been
considered the wit of the house for
several years. No one ever expects a
| profound or serious argument from Mr.
| Allen, but they do expect to be anus
ed, and in that are seldom disappoint-
ed. His home is in the small country
town of Tupalo, which he declares is
the center of the earth for the reason
that 1t is the same distance from Tu-
palo in any direction to where the sky
touches the earth.
/ ION one occasion he stated that a
mans convictions on the financial ques,
ton were generally due to his environ
ments. Why, said he, Mr. Speaker,
not long ago | was invited to a banquet
given by the bankers and brokers OF
Wall street and when l entered the
banquet hall felt my poverty knew
that was poor but when the wine had
passed few times began to feel in
very comfortable circumstances. and
after few more rounds of sparkling
champagne | actually felt rich beyond
the dreams of avarice, and by the time
they reached me on the program, felt
rich as Croessus and actually address.
ed them, Fellow capitalists, if it is
money you want, call on me at Tupalo.
1t was my happy privilege t.. respond
to the toast Our National DEBT and |
said it ought to be paid; it shall be
paid-l will pay it myself, and reach.
ed my hand in my pocket and found
that | only had eleven cents
Some months after the Dingley
tariff act had passed and the Fifty-ffth
congress had assembled in second SEES.
sion, republicans began to feel jubilant
over the indications of prosperity, some
calling it Dingley prosperity, others
Mckinley prosperity. Democrats were
not ready at that time to admit that
prosperity had returned and after re-
publican representatives had made fire.
quent illusions to Dingley prosperity
Mr.. Allen made a short speech in
which he said: When hear you gen
tlemen on the other side of the cham
Der talking about Dingley prosperity
it reminds me of an old colored man