Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-04-06
WISE ana v "
" Ae Otherwise.

local social organization whose
members are great "sticklers" con-
cerning formality, not long ago re-
ceived an application for membership.
Docs any member present know
the young man who aspires to join our
august society,"" asked the president.
II do,' sreplied young woman,
He is II perfect gentleman"
That's good! BY what means have
you found this Out?'
II sat beside him Mt dinner recently.
and / assure you he cats his soup
like n gentleman"
This settled the question:, and the
candidate was accepted promptly.
Shortly before this the society was
called to consider the application of
n young woman.
"Who knows hcr?" demanded the
presiding officer.
young man declared he was well
acquainted with the fair candidate.
Does she possess scholarly attain
ments?'
"You bet she does. You just ought
to hear her sing, lust Because She
Made Them GoO-Goo Eyes"
This brushed aside all doubt that
might have been entertained relative
to the proper qualifications of the
candidate and she now attends every
meeting to entertain with her clever
singing.
I. r q
The Western Reserve Democrat,
printed at Warren, where the indie
pendent telephone movement is in
high favor, says that mo doubt the
Bell Telephone people will applaud
the selection of Mr.. Allen, Of New
York. as Patent Commissioners, as he
has been their attorney for years.
What the independent telephone COM
panles will think of il, remains to be
seen"
Talking about smoke abaters, Mrs.
Carrie Nation is successful in that
line. Given permission to dictate the
policy of government of Nebra ska
town. she promptly ordered that no
smoking of cigars be allowed on the
streets or in other public places. It
Is claimed that her order Is being en-.
forced. If she could do as well with
Akron smokestacks no delay should
be permitted in sending her an invi-
tation to come here.
+ r +
Since the discovery that two Youngs-
town men have been guilty of steal
ing a ra'lroad. the Pennsylvania and
other companies would do well to take
their roads in at night.
April showers bring forth May flow
crs,
Declared some rhyming master;
But | declare, by all the Powers,
They bring umbrellas faster.
1t was really bad enough to have
folks speak of Akron ns Young s-town,
but now that they may he inclined to
call the city Doyles-town, it will be
carrying things beyond the limit of
forbearance.
'The School Board" remarks the Ha.
bitual Jollier, may refuse to elect Col.
l. c. Gibbons as its president, but he
may find consolation in the fact that
he has been there longer than any of
them"
There's no use talking. If corn goes
up to 90 cents per bushcl. mush and
milk will become one of the most
fashionable daintics.
r + +
IL you would retain the favor Of the
fair ones, predict fine weather for
Sunday.
Might take care Of one Of them by
him Chaplain of the Board,
Judge,
Scarce had -four trust been form.
ed until 1t was followed by n flower
trust.
+ + 1.
The real flowers do not cost as much
h'i h'Nt hS ipHE az thuSt Ou tue Huls,
but they are prettier.
I. j. =
Time to begin to think OF borrowing
n spade,
+ Z +
His Uncle Mark will get after Mr..
Lewis Parker If he don't watch out.
r y =
Looked as though the ground hog
had got his second wind.
= 4 +
Some OF the eggs are more gaudy
than the flowers or the bonnets.
4 4 =
March Is no respecter of calendars.
= = =
Don't forget the Easter eggs.
+ = = =
Lawn mowers next.
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