The times., 1901-03-24
THE PLAN THAT FAILED.
One Eoston woman's Futile Effort
to Elevate Conyersation

| Mrs. Jack. from Boston, is filed with
| the latest ideas. Jack-well, Jack is New
| Jersey born and bred"
| This town." said the young woman
one evening as they sat in their suburban
| home. needs improving ] am shocked
when ] dine out TO hear nothing but non
sense talked. There are some clever peo-
! pie here. ! have met them, but when
! they dine out they leave their cleverness
at home with their everyday clothes.
| Il think that we should give some din
| ners. four anyway, and If we make the
| first one a thorough success we can be
| sure of the others. We must invite both
| young and elderly people, a few bright
and few ordinary ones. because there
are not enough bright ones to go very
! FAR. Then wen have the conversation up
| TO certain standard and keep il there >
On the night of the first dinner party
| everything was in propep array Not a
! speck OF aust To gladden. the eyes of the
! guests was visible. The wines were gain
/ Ing the right temperature and Mrs Jack
/ IN q lostonesque dinner gown, was ready
| tor her guests.
can never talk at dinner. | don't
| know what to say. Who do 1 take out?
| Old Mrs Bangs? i never spoke to her. 1
never know what to say to anyone"
| Never mind. Jack. dear I know that
| you are positively no good at dinner
| party. Now listen. / have written out
| list CT interesting SUBJECTS ana pinned IL
| on the table cloth. See?' And she led
/ him up TO the table. Now don't fail me
| but whenever ii seems dull or people are
I not talking, look at this list and talk of
| some of the things. Even IL you don
know about them, appeal to me and III
| help you out. There is"
Just then the door bell rang and Mrs.
| Jack hurried away to greet the first guest.
After they were seated at dinner Mrs.
| Jack asked the guest OF honor IL he had
seen the recent views on the nebular
| hypothesis The answer TO her question
and the interest in the subject was so
| slight that she looked at Jack, and he
| came Yaliantly to the rescue. 1T does
| not seem to me. Mary he called out.
| that the meat has been unusually tough
| lately
What do you mean. Jack?" This was
with a true Boston intonation.
Jack looked perplexed, but Mrs. Bangs
was quite animated and she and the eld-
| erly man next her had discussion as to
butchers and meat that was eager enough
to let Mrs. Jack to get her bearings again.
The next subject she introduced was
the recent affair In South Africa. The
interest in anything but Dom Paul 8 ex-
| cessive plainness was not marked, and
after few desultory views had been ex-
pressed, the conversation died out
DO or die thought Jack. and looked
at his list. Speak about James
aprons" came next. Il don't know what
TO say about James aprons, but things
seem pretty dull, so I'll dash ahead as 1
was told to-
y,
James aprons? Aren't they all right?
They look like the proper thing.
Visions of the husband or her youth at
Morris Plains Asylum danced before Mrs.
Jacks eyes. Aprons, What was the mat
ter with him
When she had recovered a little she
heard the most elderly man saying TO
Mrs. Bangs: Now can you imagine me
in q check apron with a leather belt? ]
always wore them when l was a boy
The elderly women described black silk
hzgs Of ffaas- -
younger ones laughed merrily. Mrs. Jack
rather cleyerly steered the conversation
around to her point again and asked gen
orally, with a don nt-all-Speak-at-once
air: who has read the History of Pa
pacy in the XIX Century, " After ex-
pressing admiration for the work of Prof
NippOld there was another silence, broken
by one OF the young men, who said:
What a thin old gentleman the Pope isi'
GOod-hearted Jack rushed TO the rescue
and broke the deadly silence with: Have
any of You had trouble with getting good
butter Iately?"
The foodgates of conversation were
opened and young and old sailed out on
the stream. Boarding school, college club,
summer hotel and gilt edge" butter was
discussed and talked of and amid peals
of laughter the dinner was ended.
The men smoked, going as they pleased
conversatiOnally, and the ladies in the
drawing room carried on the conversation
on the lines laid down by their host at
dinner.
After everyone had gone. Jack said,
with an air of conscious rectitude, ''Well.
Mary, that dinner went of pretty well,
didn't it?"
Jack she said Historically, where
did you put your list and why did you
talk of such awful things?"
Awful things? Why, l talked about
every single thing you wrote down, and
l thought l kept them going pretty well.
Old Mrs. Bangs squeezed my hand when
she left and said she wished she could
always sit by me at dinner. They all said
it was a jolly dinner"
But what made you talk about meat,
and James aprons and-Oh, Jack! Ii was
too dreadful
Great Scott. Mary, didn't you give me
the list-here it is. See, 1t begins Speak
about tough meat; speak about James
aprons; last butter from grOcer's bad.
l talked about them all just as you asked
me to, and if / hadn't | think your din
ner party would have been pretty dull
Mary took the list. 1t was her memo
randurn for the day. on the back of it
she had written the list of subjects for
Jack Unfortunately. or fortunately Git
depends upon the point of view. in PIN
ming it on the tablecloth the memoran-
dunn side was upDermost.