The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-06-05
THE RECEIVING I
OF BECKLEY
Local Humorist Reports Presi
dents Heart-to-Heart
Talk.

| This is the Independents version of the
Beckley interview with Mckinley:
| Mr.. Beckley was ushered in and the
Following dialogue took place:
/ Mac-This is pleasure. indeed, to meet
fyou, Mr.. Beckley. l thought that you
would come, and can only express my
Iregret that l was unable to call on You
4 myself at your beautiful home at Apia
Be seated and have cigar. What can
do for you. my dear friend from
Guam?
Fred (frigidly)-I come, Mr.. Pereside-
] ma, from the great Independent Homa
/ Rula Republicans party of the Hawaiian
| Territory, which includes men like my
Isself and Emmeluth, and / lay before you
a resolution passed in the House of Rep
fresentatives demanding that you forth
with dismiss our Governor.
| Mac (aside to secretary)--Where the
deuce is Hawaii? Who is Governor of
THAT COMPOUNDED place, and what am I
to say? CAloud to Fred)-Just so: Just
so; charming, very charming. Indeed.
indeed. I must try to get move and
visit you at LuZon or Hawaii-sanie thing
charming; only wife sick and other
business to attend TO, of minor interest
to the United States, of course but at
the same time of some slight Importance.
Have light?
Secretary lin whisper to Mae)-The Ha-
waiian Islands have been annexed by US.
They are not the Samoan or Philip
pines OF our possessions. The Governors
name is Dole and the Delegate, accord
ing to a report from Republican head
quarters, is Colonel Sam Parker. - !.
Mac (affably to Beckley)-Yes, my dear
friend, We are now all Americans, and
I feel proud to say that 1 consider your
people the best and most valuable citi-
zens of this great republic. I have seen
your Delegate. Colonel Parker, open a
jackpot to my sorrow, and admire you
all greatly Your Governor will be at
tended TO strictly'-later on-and l shall.
with the permission of prominent
statesman like yourself, suggest that
economy should be observed everywhere
except in the pension bureau, and that
you would set a. good example by re-
turning to Honolulu at once and at the
expense of the United States. My secre-
tary tells me that the transport Law
ton leaves this afternoon, and while
regret to tear myself apart from your
intelligent company, / hope that you will
accept our hospitality on board the
transport-except you should prefer to
walk home. In saying goodbye. I wish
you to convey. If possible in executive
session, these important points that l
have given to you in strict confidence.
should mention that the report of-tto
secretary. IN whisper: What report is
it?}-Yes, ahem., the report of my agri-
cultural bureau in regard to these far
away islands Is highly interesting, and
I notice that you have succeeded In rails
ing cane generally, and hope you will
have good crop of hemp. On your an
nual trip to Washington drop In on me
at any time you can-get In. And now.
as there is q delegation from the other
Indian Territory waiting for me with
/ must bid you farewell. and
a very pleasant trip to Apia- But be
sure. Mr.. Beckley, not to whisper a word
of the State secrets / have divulged to
you. to anyone. ! will adjust every
thing. (To secretary)-Jones, attend Mr..
Beckley on board the Lawton and set UP
refreshments On the way, and charge
them to the agricultural bureau. Good
bye, my dear friend.