The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-05-25

1T is. I think, unnecessary that.
should mention them all, but if you De-
lieve that We should get back to first
principles, don't you think, as lord of
creation, you should set the example
You shall have the hat was all he
said--Chieago Post
Harry is so absent-ninded; he went
up to dress for q party once, and Went
to bed instead"
presence of mind. Chicago Record
Herald.
Bilkins-I'n trying to cure myself Of
! the tobacco habit.
Bifkins-How?
Bilkins-By smoking some cigars my
wife bought me--Ohio State Journal
This is the way he wrote to her:
Molly: I has not had a line from you
in three weeks. Has you throwed me
And this is the way she answered
John: Hain't you hearn tell that
am on a sick bed, where I am slowly
a-dyin', an can't write a line to save
my life, you fool, you Atlanta Con-
American Mamma Gin Paris)-Hush.
dear. We mustn't talk SO loud. Wen
An erican Daughter-That's all right.
mammal we're talking French-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Says Brother Dickey: IBIS OF world
is rollin so clost ter de next one dat
hits gittin' uncomfortable warm fer
some of us. atlanta. Constitution.
what do the Blazeieys call their ba-
..Hilaegarde Minerva
''Goodnessi How did they ever come
10 cole raf esf1r.7
81 don't know. unless it was because
| the poor little thing weighed only three
/ pounds and a half when it was two days
old."-Chicago Tribune.
A north country miner, aged 73, visited
/ a lawyer to make his will. The old man )
/ property consisted of two small cottages
which had cost him ESQ. The lawyer
asked him how he wished to dispose Of
it.
Ma aud woman is to hev it all 50
lang as she's ma. widow. after that
| BARNS to hev ALL replied the client.
What age is your WIFE? asked the
lawyer.
"Seventy-two,s was the reply
How long have you been married?''
lover so years"
The lawyer suggested that under the
circumstances he should let his wife
have the little property during her life.
whether she remained a widow or not
IA winnot, "A winnot!" exclaimed
the old man; ''Aa'n hev ma ain wey.''
But surely you don't expect an old
woman now over 70 would ever dream
| of marrying again2"
The miner looked the lawyer full in
| the face and answered very solemnly:
''Weel sonny, thor's ma knowing what
| young chaps like yerseF will dae for
! siller.''-Tit-Bits
bryan says we ought to live up to
American traditions"
"Oh, don't know: we can respect a
| GRANDPA theirs clock. but we can't take
trains by it if its works are worn out. i"
! Chicago Record-Herald.
Short Term -Tourist-'.How
| long does the sheriff hold Office in this
| county?" Native (of Bloody GuIch)-
Just as long as he continues to draw
! first.7-Puck.
Bifkins(who is giving a party)-''What
| do you get an evening for waiting at
entertainments2' Waiter-.Five shill-
ings, sir; but if there is to be singing I
must ask six. sir."-Tit-Bits.
And Now Look at HimA"see that
magnate over there?" Yes. What Of
hin? % well, 2 years ago. that man ar
| rived in New York with only a million
dollars in his pocket. Life.
The observation-disclosures am sor-
ry that you wish to resign. What is
| the trouble?'' Start is too much of a
strain on me to try to live up to the
salary your press agent says I get
Baltimore American.
| Greening Shopping with his wife,
| Here is something that will make you
a nice dress" Mrs. Greening-.'Oh, no.
body is wearing that this season.
Greening-'sW ell, what's the matter with
this piece?" Mrs Greening-"Oh, that's
too common Everybody is wearing it. =
| Chicago News
Diner-Look here, waiterl This five
/ of spades was in my soup.
Waiter-Well, what dyer expect in an
eighteen-penny dinner-the ace of
| trumps -Pick-Me-Up.
Featherstone-Love is an awful thing.
old man.
Ringway- Especially when you know
the girl you love hasn't got money
enough to support you.-Life.
Athlete-Did-I-bre it, doctor2
| Doctor Will be plain with you. The
arm is broken, the collarbone crushed,
| the skull is fractured
Athlete-No. no, mol The-did-I
- Il