The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-01-29


2T42 Greene Street Third Floor.
Telephone Central 1S267.
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"P. D. F.?'' said I, rather puzzled.
Professor of Decimal Fractions?"
Wrong. Perpetuator of Domestic Fee
licity." And he grinned at my bewil-
derment
We'll" said I, slightly nettled, what
the deuce does that imply?''
The most noble occupation in the
world; the greatest boon ever bestowed
upon mankind. My own idea, my own
concepuon-the worthy child Of my great,
throbbing heart and my keen, observing
intellect It has worked a reformation
in the family circle, and called down the
blessings Of humanity upon Benjamin
Bixby sir
Explain yourself" said I, impatiently.
For ages the private life Of busy
men-of men of great mental energy-has
been rendered more or less unhappy BY
dissensions in the household, caused, IN
fortunately, by the busy mans forget
fitness Simple and unimportant matters
intrusted 10 his care by his wife-the
matter of mailing a letter, ascertaining
railroad connections, sending a, man TO
fix the furnace. and other commissions
Of like character-bave slipped his mem
ory, burdened as it was with mighties
affairs. These little omissions have
caused many a 9eartche, many a tear,
many hasty word; yea, too often have
they been the entering wedge which f.
naly split asunder the happiness of the
home.
These unfortunate circumstances came
early to my attention. No doubt you also
noticed them years ago, but perhaps
your heart does not throb 50 compass
sionately for bleeding humanity as does
Benjamin Bixby's. At all events. I de-
termined to discover some plan of right
ing the evil. for I believe every i'll has
a remedy.
This resulted in my adopting my pres
ent occupation, which from the beginning
has been commended by those whom it
was designed to benefit. My success has
been wonderful. Hundreds of the most
influential citizens of this mighty me-
tropolis look upon Benjamin Bixby as a
godsend" And the perpetuator of do
nestle felicity rubbed his hands again
and Erinned
You talk in riddles" said I.
ION the contrary" he replied. moth
ing could be more simple. I remind my
patrons of that which has slipped their
memories. How? Well, we will suppose
that in the evening after dinner. while
Mr.. Richard Roe is scanning his favor
"
suddenly observes: t wish you would
send man to fix that range, Richard;
1t smokes dreadfuly. And o yes.
want you to step into the bank and pur-
chase a draft: and don't forget to Sc
cure seats for the opera Thursday even
ing
Now, in the old days, Mr.. Roe would
have trusted to memory, faithfully prom
ised his wife to attend to The matters
on the morrow, and then-immediately
proceeded to forget them entirely
But advancement is the demand of
the hour. and all this domestic trouble
is now entirely avoided. thanks to the
intellect and great. throbbing heart sof
Benjamin Bixby, p. D. f" And my
friend Of former days beamed enthusiast
tically upon me.
NO more does Mr.. Roe trust to mem
DRY or memorandum While the matter
IS on his mind he steps to the telephone
and calls up Central 1927, which instru-
ment is in my office, as you will OBJ
serve by reference to my card.
One Of my assistants answers his
ring. and Mr.. Roe gives the following
instructions over the wire: Make mem
Roe-man to FIX
range-purchase draft-tickets for opera.
on Thursday evening My assistant
makes the memorandum, repeats it to
Mr.. Roe, and that gentleman returns to
his paper, blissfully confident that his at
tention will be called 10 the various
matters in the morning.
And so it is. In my office is rec
ORD which gives all the necessary infor-
nation regarding my patrons Therein
is recorded Mr.. Roe's name, the, Kambsr
Of his residence, the location os his or
fee, the car he takes in going to his
place Of business, and the hour ne gem
orally arrives there. Thus, when Mr..
Roe aHghfs from the car in front of his
office on the following morning. one Of I
my uniformed messengers places in his \
hands COPY Of the memorandum which (
he telephoned the previous evening. Thus
his attention is called to MS wife's com
missions. They are attended to. and no +
dissensions take place in Mr.. Roe's
household
For the services OF myself and assist
ants I charge. Of course, a small fee.
payable monthly. That, sir, is my mis- I
sion-that IS the noble work my intellect
aas found to do IN Chicago" And Ben
amin Bixby. P. D. f.. bowed himself
1ut Of my presence.