The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-11-01


SURRENDER 10 ME OR YOU WAS A DEAF
dollar or send a case OF peer to his
house. You must also fix his shoes fol
nottings."
''But l shall neffer do 1t. don't
care for some pulls. 1t vhas cement
patches for feefteen cents, und if
please my customers dey shall come
back for half soles at forty"
1T Will be better if you do ash l
say" says dot tailor. ''If l don't haf
some pulls nit der policemans on my
beat, vhas gone oop long ago. Don't
you make some mistake on dot police
mans. He vhas ash big ash a house,
und he can stop sefen street cars at
once by lifting oop his hand.'
| belief dot tailor vhas afraid, und
] make oop my mind dot l shall hat
no pulls. Two days yhas gone AWAY
when dot bluecoat WALKS into my shop
und says:
Hello! So you vhas gone into PEGS
nees, eh?'
"Yes, dot vhas So"
'Vhell, dot vhas all right, und I hope
you get rich. Can you lend me dol
lar for a day or two?"
Il couldn't spare herr"
SCOT anything to drink aroundt
here?"
'sOnly some fine water"
"Who WANTS water? Did / hear you
ask me oafer to der saloon for peer?"
81 don't pellet so.''
''Oh, you didn't! Say, cobbler, do
you know who / vhas?'
''You vhas policemans."
eyes, und is dere bigger man in dis
town dan a policemansY
"Vhell, dere vhas der mayor und
aldermans und judges" says.
bah! Small fish, You better get
your eyes open, cobbler, or you shall
hear something drop"
Dot tailor comes again und talks to
me, und dot butcher und plumber talk
for an hour, but I don't like some
pulls. I shust mind my own peesness
und don't say something to nopody.
In two days dot policemans comes in
again, und he don't smile ash he says:
$50 you keep some policy shop here.
Ell? | hat kept my eye on you, und
now you yhas caught"
"Who vhas policy?v ! says.
Don't try TO bluff me. You try to
look ash innocent as a child, but know
you to be a wicked old sinner. How
much you make here by policy?
II don't eaten know who policy vhas.
1 shust coRble oop Shoes
"yhell. you can put me on some half
sole While wait Maybe l vhas mis-
took aboudt dot policy. Hurry oop.'
lit vhas forty cents" | says.
"Vhatl What! You sharge police
mans for fixing his shoes. You old
hoary headed villain. but l show you
a hole init trick in iti''
Und he knocks me aroundt my shop
till falls down und can't get oop, und
when der peoples comes rushing in dot
rascals bends oafer me und calls oudt:
Poor mans Poor mansl He vhas
sooch a hard worker dot he hat some
fit und falls off his bench"
Dot tailor says it vhas better if l gif
oop und get some pulls, und dot plumb
er says | may pc found dead in my
shop some day, but won't do it, When
| vhas mad, vhas like a mule. May
pc it vhas week pefore dot police
mans comes in again. Den he swings
his club aroundt und says:
"Cobbler, how dare you violate der
law in dis shameful manner? / neffer
see sooch a bold scoundrel before in
my life"
How vhas l wiolate?" I says.
"How? Why der front of your shop
goes oafer der sidewalk line by two
feet. Moaf him back, sir moaf him at
oncer
"But it vhas der landlord who shall
moaf her."
'Shut oop! How dare you talk to me
like dot? know you, you oldt villain,
und don't stop till you vhas in prison.
Did you say you had half a dollar dot
you can spare for day or two?"
II don't"
.'Und you don't bring me a quart of
peer in my growler?'
Il vhas temperance"
ooh, you vhas You vhas temper
ance und dead broke und like to steal
two feet of my sidewalk. Ply golly, but
you vhas a bold villain, und hat to
trim you oopa bit!'
He knocks me der same as before,
und nit eafery blow he calls me liars
und t'iefs und bad names. yells
oudt und der peoples come in, but dot
policemans shpeaks COP silently und
says:
IF dot cobbler don't take vacation
he yhas a dead mans. He works too
hard, und dot shmell of leather vhas
always in his nose"
1t takes me one week to get dot black
und blue AWAY, but don't gift oop.
rub myself NIT arnica und go to
work, und hat six jobs ON hand when
dot officer comes in again. don't look
at him, und he yells oudt:
Surrender to me or you vhas dead
mans in two secondsr
How you meansg' I says.
q moan dot van vhas some counter