davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

The day was when men of prominence
hesitated to give their testimonials to
proprietary medicines for publication.
This remains true to-day of most pro-
prietary medicines. But Peruna has be-
come so justly famous, it's merits are
known to SO many people of high and low
stations, that no one hesitates to see his
name iii print recommending Peruna.
The highest men in our nation have
given Peruna strong endorsement. Men
representing all classes and stations are
equally represented.
A dignited representative of the Pres
byterian Church in the person of Rev.
e. G. Smith does not hesitate to state
publicly that he has used Pcruna in his
family and found it cured when other
remedies failed. In this statement the
Rev. Smith is supported by an elder in
his church.
Rev. E. G. Smith, pastor of the Pres
byterian Church of Greensboro, Ga,
writes:
Having used Peruna in my family for
some time it gives me pleasure to testify
to it's true worth. My little boy seven
years of age had been suffering for some
time with catarrh of the lower bowels.
Other remedies had failed, but after
taking two bottles of Peruna the trouble
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
First Presbyterian Church Greensboro

almost entirely disappeared. For this
special malady | consider it wellh nigh L
specific. AS tonic for weak and worn
out people it has few or no equals.
Rev. e. G. Smith.
Mr.. NJ. ]. Rossman, prominent mer-
chant of Greensboro, Ga, and an elder
in the Presbyterian Church of that place,
has used Peruna, and in a recent letter
to The Peruna Medicine Co, of Column
bus, Ohio, writes as follows:
For long time l was troubled with
catarrh OF the kidneys and tried many
remedies, all Of which gave me no relief.
Peruna was recommended to me by
several friends, and after using a few
bottles l am pleased to say that the long
looked for relief was found and l am
now enjoying better health than l have
for years, and can heartily recommend
Peruna to all similarly afflicted. 1t is
certainly grand medicine."-M. j.
ROSsman.
If you do not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of Peruna,
write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a
full statement of your case and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable
advice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman, President of the
Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus. Ohio.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
The Warden'S SDeech.

The other day newly appointed war
den was taken by the prison chaplain in
to the chapel, where the prisoners were
assembled in body. The chaplain pre-
sented him to the company with the re-
mark that he would say a few words.
The warden was bashful man. and I'M
accustomed to speechmaking. He STAN
mered, suffered, blushed and faltered
Ladies and-er-nO-nO-gen tle-that is,
men and -prisoners-er-I can't
make speech; don't know how to
make a speech. In fact, all-er-all |
can say is-er-that I'm very glad indeed
to see so many of Won berer'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
What Do the Children Drink?

Don't give them tea or coffee Have
you tried the new food drink called
GRAIN-O? 1t is delicious and nourish-
ing and takes the place Of coffee. The
more Grain-O you give the children the
more health you distribute through their
systems. Grain-O is made of pure grains.
and when properly prepared tastes like
the choice grades of coffee, but costs
about "A as much. All grocers sell it.
l5c and 25c
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
A Remedy for the Grippe.

Physicians recommend KEMP'S BAL
SAM as a remedy for patients afflicted
with the grip, as it is especially adapted
for the throat and lungs. Do not wait
for the first symptoms of the disease, but
get bottle to-day and keep it ON hand
for use the moment it is needed. If neg
lected the grip has tendency to bring
on pneumonia. KEAIP'S BALSAM pre-
vents this by keeping the cough loose and
the lungs free from inflammation. All
druggists sell KEMP'S BALSAM at 25c
and 50o
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Best for the Bowels.

No matter what ails you, headache to
cancer, you will never get well until
your bowels are put right. CASCA-
REFS help nature, cure you without a
grippe or pain, produce easy natural move
ments, cost you just 10 cents to start get
ting your health back. CASCARETS
Candy Cathartic, the genuine put up in
metal boxes. every tablet has G. c.. G.
stamped on it. Beware of limitations.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
The Way to Keen Cider.

Cider will keep if it is boiled, reduced
at least one-third, and then bottled. y
raisin, or few mustard seeds, may be
put in the bottle previous to pouring in
the cider. The cOrks must be fastened
with wires and the bottles he placed in Il
dark, cool clOset.-Ladies' Home journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
SPINNING WHEEL.
RECoNSIDERED.

Before the maiden fair he knelt.
And, in a nervous tone,
He tried TO speak the love he felt
For her and her alone.
Tie paused, and then the maiden sat
And coyly shook her head.
You men will always talk like that,
But is it true:' she said.
The youth prepared to VOW his love,
When in a moment-weii,
The baby iii the fiat above.
Commenced q healthy yell.
Some time elapsed ere he could speak
TO drown that rich, full flood
Which eliminated in a shrek
That simply froZe his blood.
And then he rose, and thus he spoke:
Ion second thoughts, you're right;
] only meant it for a joke.
Thanks, very much; good night
Pick MeUp.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

into the Sea. Instantly Five Men leaped
in to Rescue Her, and Spent the Rest
of the Day Resuscitating her and Inquir-
ing How she Was, leaving the Swimmer
to Dive by Herself
This teaches that Nothing Succeeds
like Distress.-The Century.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Loss of Work.

1t has been calculated that the loss
from illness averages 2O.O0O,00O weeks
of work in the year, or 211a per cent. of
the work done by the whole population
between Is and So years of age
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Il notice that couple of Frenchmen
think they have found new explanation
Of the sense of smell. They claim that
all odors are conveyed by ethereal undu-
lations."
Wonder if those knowing lads ever
encountered a chunk of ethereal Limbur-
ger on close night in dark cellar?' -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

George, the colored jnaitor, needed
some money and went to the church
treasurer for it.
There isn't cent in my hands just
now. George" said that officer, land
won't be till next Sundays collections
are handed over. Can't you wait till
thenY'
Don't see how 1 kin, Mistah Cub
ney." persisted George. 'K'yarn't run
de house widout money
THE best l can do for you" returned
the treasurer, will be to advance you
So out of my own pocket and run my
risk from getting it back from the
church."
We'll, suh," solemnly rejoined the jan
itor, ''ef you don't git it back m de
chu'ch. Mistah Gubney, you'll git yo' re-
ward in de good world, but it's diff mt
wild me. Eff l can't git dat free dollahs
I'm you ia like t know whah 1 KIM
Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Moves the bowels each day. In order
to be healthy this is necessary. Acts
gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures
sick headache. Price % and 50c
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Arm Bearers.

If every man capable of bearing arms
were put into the field Britain's army
would be 100000, against 100000
Frenchmen, or 12,500,000 Germans.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Largest Picture.

The largest painting in the world, ex-
elusive of panoramas and cycloramas, is
in the grand salon of the Doge's palace
at Venice. 1t is "a feet wide by "a feet
HIGH
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

/ am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago--Mrs.
Thos. Robbins, Maple Street, Norwich,
N. Y. Feb. II, 1900.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

New England is said to furnish bet
ter workers in mills and factories than
any other section of the country.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

In 1890 the mineral products of the
United States amounted to $G19000. 900
and in 1899 TO $976,OO0,O00
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Around the w orld

A man walking day and night without
resting would take 42S days to journey
around the world.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

There are forty-eght different mate
rails used in constructing a piano, from
no fewer than sixteen different countries,
employing forty-fve different hands.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

CARDS FREE-Send ten addresses OF young
people interested in Business Shorthand Education
pnd receive one doZ cards written by Americas finest
pennlan. Cream City Business College, Milwaukee,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP fol
Children teething; softens the gums reduces in
Illumination. allays pain, cures wind collie. %
cents a bottle
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

During the year ending June 80 last
Jasper county. Mo-. produced zinc and
lead worth S5.339, 500.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Etc Permanently Cured No fits nervousness after
II first days use of Dr.. kine's Great Nerve Re-
storer Send for FREE &c 90 trial bottle and treatise
DIR. r. H. KLINE, Ltd e3l Arch ST., Philadelphia, Pa
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Oil for Palms.

In the early winter, palms are very
likely to appear weak and sickly, before
they have become accustomed to the new
order of things, especially the oyerheated
house. To assist nature, in these artificial
environments, fertilizer is often, used,
which may prove beneficial. 1t acts,
however, like giving rich food to a person
who takes no exercise.
The stomach of the plant is inactive
and the pores are clogged. One who is
successful III palm culture says that the
best preventive of such a condition is to
administer a dose of castor oil. This is
done by slowly pouring a tablespoonful
of the oil close around the main stem Of
the plant.
To aid absorption, follow with liber
al quantity of warm water. Repeat this
dose once every three or four weeks and
a healthy, glossy appearance of the palm
is assured throughout the winter season.
If the world be divided into land and
water hemispheres London is the center
Of the land, New Zealand of the water.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Serious Complaint-"I suppose" said
the wife sarcastically, you've been sit
ting up with a sick friend again?''
We'll, yes; he certainly was SICK re-
piled Jacksup.
Indeed! What's the complaint?''
He complained that we stacked the
cards. catholic Standard and Times,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Golf and Chess.-Foozle--'I suppose
you are willing to admit that golf is an
intellectual pastime?' Bunker-"Yes, in
about the same sense that chess is an
athletic game" -Boston Transcript.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Willie-"Pa, what's fixed starr
Pa formerly an actorj-"A fixed star,
suppose. is one who gets his salary reg
ilarly ."-Philadelphi Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

The best is the cheapest. Carriers Ink
is the best, yet it costs no more than the
n0OrpSt-
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

THE SPENCERIAN BUSINESS College, Mil
waukee. is the oldest and best school of business
and shorthand i'll Wisconsin. Circulars free.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Dyeing is as simple as washing when
you use PUTNAM FADELESS DYES.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
TO CURE A COLD in ONEDAY

Take Laxative Bromo Qunine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure
4. w. Groves signature is on each box. 25c
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

The strength of wood increases with
its density
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

England will furnish the money fl
completing the Hudson river tunnel.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Russian gold mines average an an
nual yield of sc, 66S pounds.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Why doth the busy man improve each shining
minute because he smokes the White Flag Scent cigar
that has Havana in It, Mfg by NJ. s. Meyer Milwaukee.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

The oldest German college is Heidel-
berg 1876
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Mrs. Histerick-O Henry, did you hear
about the Jones baby swallowing an cleo
trio light bulb?'
Her Husband-"No, but that was n
bright idea for the baby, now, wasn't it:'
Philadelphia Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Rubber, spun glass, steel and ivory
are the most elastic substances.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23


The Editor of Catholic Book Notes
says that convent school chapel. when
visited, was found to be filled with little
girls of ages ranging from to Is, with
fresh sweet voices, in childish accents
singing:
Of our passions we are weary
Weary Of the yoke of sin.
A convict prison chapel, when visited,
was found, with select and exclusive
congregation of forgers, burglars, wife
heaters, etc., in stentorian tones giving
tongue to
Dear angel, ever at my side
How loving thou must be,
To leave thy home in heaven to guide
little child like me-
Father Faber of course wrote "a gull
ty wretch like me- but that would have
been appropriate under the circumstan-
ces, which would never do, so the corrupt
rendering was preferred.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

The average weight of sheep ieece
is 80 pounds.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Teddy-,."I wish 1 hadn't licked Jimmy
Brown this morning.
Mamma-"You see now how wrong it
was, don't you, dear?''
Teddy-'Yes, cause / didn't know till
noon that he was going to give party
Family Herald.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

His Worship Ito prisoner who has been
up every month for years)-"Ebenezer
Noakes, aren't you ashamed to be seen
here so often?" BLESS yer worship, this
place is respectable ter some places
where I'm seen"-Tit-Bi
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Il. w. BEEBE. M. ID. Eye, Ear. Nose and
Throat. 173 Wisconsin ST. (opp, p. o. Milwaukee,
Wis. Office hours from 10 to II and TO 5.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Il want to get copies of your paper fol
a week back said the visitor to the
newspaper office.
Wouldn't it be better to try a porous
plaster| suggested the facetious clerk
Philadelphia Record
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
A SIMPLE FORMULA.

Who hath his collar button lost
The case need ne'er give Ger
Barefooted, let him close his eyes
And promenade the floor
Chicago Record.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Tongue Twisters.-Susan shines shoes
and socks; socks and shoes shine Susan.
She ceaseth shining shoes and socks, for
shoes and socks shock Susan.
Robert Rowley rolled round roll
round; a round roll Robert Rowiey rolled
round; where rolled the round roll Robert
Rowley rolled round
Oliver Oglethorp ogled All owl and oys-
ter: If Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl
and oyster, where are the owl and oyster
Oliver Oglethorp ogled?
Sammy Shoesmith saw a shrieking
youngster. If Sammy Shoesmith saw a
shrieking youngster, where's the shrek
ing youngster Sammy Shoesmith saw?
went into the garden to gather some
blades, and there / saw two pretty babes.
."Ah, babies. is that you babes, braiding
blades, babes? If you braid any blades.
babes, braid broad blades, babes, or braid
no blades, babes''
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Neighbours know that half-starved
donkey | bought a year ago for five dol
lars? | sold him this morning for seven
ty dollars Uncle Allen Sparks That's
the greatest profit on an animal of that
kind since Balaam." Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

The Turks have seven different kinds
of flutes
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Snappey-"That's what jars me-
Sappey-"What's that?"
Snappey-"Uh, some people are neve
satisfied to take things as they are, bu
always want to know the why AM
wherefore"
Sappey-"That's so. 1 wonder why
is. '-Philadelphi Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Mr.. Selfmade-'R Remember, children.
when | was boy 1 often went to bed
hungry. and seldom had aasquare NEAL
Little Tommy (who is tired of hearing
about it)-'Well, that just shows how
much better off you are snce you've
known us''-Life
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

A correspondent writes: Il once had
a cat which always sat up to the dinner
table with me, and had his napkin round
his neck, and his plate and some fish. He
used his paw, of course, but he was very
particular, and behaved with extraordi-
nary decorum. When he had finished his
fish sometimes gave him a piece of
mine. One day he was not to be found
when the dinner bell rang, so we began
without him. Just as the plates were be-
ing put round for the entree, puss came
rushing upstairs and sprang into his
chair with two mice in his mouth. Be-
fore he could be stopped he dropped a
mouse or to his own plate and then one
on, to mine. He divided his dinner with
me as | divided mine with him.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Mike said Flooding Pete, "are you
No. sir" was the reply "All de beer
l drinks | gifts fur nothin'. Dem as kin
afford to pay DER cents fur de stuff
ought to be made to support de govern
ment. Down wit de rich!"-W ashington
Star.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23
Making Pianos.

Making Pianos.
There are forty-eight different mate
rails used in constructing a piano, from
no fewer than sixteen different countries,
employing forty-fve different hands.
Etc Permanently Cured No fits nervousness after
IIIO first days use of Dr. Klines Great Nerve Re
DIR. r. H. KLINE. Ltd ssl Arch ST. Philadelphia. Pa.
During the year ending June 80 last
Jasper county. Mo-. produced zinc and
lead worth $5,339, 500
MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP for
Children teethng softens the gums. reduces in
cents bottle.
Russian gold mines average an an
nual yield of 6,66S pounds.
The best is the cheapest. Carriers Ink
is the best, yet it costs no more than the
poorest.
England will furnish the money for
completing the Hudson river tunnel.
Dyeing is as simple as washing when
you use PUTNAM FADELESS DYES.
The average weight of a sheep deece
is 512 pounds.
why doth the busy man improve each shining
minute because he smokes the White Flag Scent cigar
That has Havanain it, Mfg by NJ. s. Meyer, Milwaukee.
The strength of wood increases with
its density.
THE sPENCERIAN BUSINESS College. Mil
waukee. is the oldest and best school of business
and shorthand i'll Wisconsin. Circulars free.
--------------- ---------------
The oldest German college is Heidel-
berg, 1856
Il. w. BEEBE. M. ID. Eye, Ear. Nose and
Throat, 173 Wisconsin ST. (opp, p. o. Milwaukee,
Wis., ONCE hours from 10 to ID and to s.
The Turks have seven different kinds
of flutes.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23


There was once Woman who had
Never Learned how to Swim, although
she Went in Bathing every day in the
Summer She had a Friend who had
Acquired this Art with Some Trouble
and was very Proud of her Proficiency
in it.
1T is Absurd" said this Friend, ito
Live near the Water and not Swim 1t
makes you very Attractive to Good
Swimmers if you can Go Out with them,
and they do Not Feel that you are
Drag on their Pleasures. What would
you Do in Case you Fell off the Pier?
Now Watch men'
With these words she Owed off into
the Water and Swan about BY Herself.
at is a Good Thing TO have Wom-
an Swim so Well" said one of the Men
near by. Now. if any Of the Children
fall Into the Water, she can Rescue
them"
Just then the Woman who Could Not
help Herself uttered Scream and Fell
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-23

Teacher (to new pupiD-"What is your
last name, my little man?"
New Pupil-"Tommy."
What is your full name -
Tommy Tompkins."
Then Tompklns is your last name?''
mo, it isn't. When / was born my
name was Tompkins, and they didn't
give me the other one for a month after
ward. "-ColAer's Weekly.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-05-14

troll of Northern Pacific Russell Sage
said to a New York Tribune reporter,
but from what hearI am inclined to
think that Mr.. Morgan and his asso-
ciates will have the control. am lit
lie surprised that Mr.. Morgan went into
the fight for control of the road. Just
see what rumpus the fight stirred up,
and i don't believe the road is worth all
the trouble the fight created. Why, 1
was making large loans yesterday at 40
per cent. Today money was being lent
at per cent What difference within
.wenty-four hours. and all on account of
fight for control of a railroad! | have
not bought any Northern Pacific stock
In several years. ! sold what | had at
-, and had bought it at s. That was
years ago. ! had been Interested in the
building of some of those northern
roads, and thought was lucky to get
my money back / made up my mind
then to keep away from railroads SO far
north.'
j. Hill. of the Great Northern,
claims he was not in the fight yet the
public believes he had merely delegated
the work to others. When the clouds
ron by this fact may be established.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-05-14
a Good I'hing.

German Syrup is the special prescrip.
tion of DR. a. Roschee, celebrated
German physician. and ID acknowledged
80 be one of the most fortunate discov-
cries in medicine. 1t quickly cures
coughs, colds and all lung troubles OF
the severest nature, removing, as Il
does. the cause of the affection ant
leaving the parts in strong anc
healthy condition. 1t is not an expert,
mental medicine. but has stood the ties,
of years. giving satisfaction in ever,
case. which its rapidly increasing SALE
every season confirms Two million bot
ties sold annually Boschee's German
Syrup was introduced in the United
States in 1865. and is now sold in ever,
town and village in the civilized world
Three doses will relieve any ordinar,
cough. Price rs cents. Get GREEN'S prize
almanac.