davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
AZ }f,s Stnser Sts Ena

A certain naval officer was very.
pompous and conceited when on duty.
One day, when he was officer OF the
watch, and he could not, as usual, ind
anything of consequence to grumbfe
about, he attempted to vent his spite
on one of the stokers of the vessel,
who was in the engine-roono, on duty.
Going to the speaking tube, the Off
GER yelled:
''Is there blithering idiot at the end
of this tube?"
The reply came quick and start
ling:
Not at this end, sir!''
The feelings of the officer, as ne
turned away with black frown, can
be better imagined than described
Leslie's Weekly.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Pats Answer.

"There!'' cried Jonathan to a newly
arrived Paddy, as he waved his hand
in the direction Of the Horseshoe falls
at Niagara Therel Now, isn't that
Wonderful?"
"Wonderfull replied Pat. "What's
wonderful"
why, to see al that water come
laundering over sheu rocks"
Fax, then, to tell ye the honest
TRUTH" vas the response, II can't see
anything very wondelfulin that. Why,
what the di7il is there to hinder it
from coming vsr?"-Baltimore Sun.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
He Didn't Lose Him.

A darky died and great crowd eel
lected at the African Methodist Episco
pal church to hear the funeral sermon,
says the Atchison Globe. There was
great curiosity to know what the par
son would say, as the dead man had
frequently been invited to join the
church and refused. The psraon said:
'sIs this man lost? I don't know but
I do know that if hc is lost, didn't
lose him."
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
A Brave Woman.

The Charlotte Observer says: ''If
our Rutherfordton correspondent is
correctly informed, the=e would have
been double accident at Buffalo creek
trestle On the South Carolina & Georgia
road Saturday and two trains would
have gone down in the wreck instead Of
one. According to this correspondents
story in Wednesdays Observer an old
oclored womsn tagged down the pas
senger train for BIscksburg just before
it resched the trestle. It is to be re-
gretted that the old womsn's nams vas
not learned, for her service in most
probably saving precious lives was q
great one"
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Tgfs BILL WAS A WRopPEs.
Philadelphia Physician Attended a
Senator and Charged $4,000.

A dispatch to the New York Sun
from Phllsdelphia says. This city has
a claim 10 dis inction in Il pcsst ssion
Of a physician who for twenty one
noa,hs' attendance on sick man IRE
serted a bill for sl9O,ocO In his bill
there are items Of $50 visit for several
calls 3. d one item calls for ST, 600 for
last summers treatment at Atlantic
CITY. The hysic:an is Dr.. Walter 0.
Browning, and his patient was the late
Senator Christopher L. Msgee, Of Pitts
burg, who died short time ago. The
bill was sent to tie executors Of the es-
tate of Senator Msgee and they ackuoRl-
edged its receipt Thursday. They did
not say whether they would psy it or
whether they tht ught the charges ex
CO sive. Dr.. BfoaniDg lives at | 325
Spruce street, but ne was not at home
Friday and a nurse who was seen at the
house sa she did not know when he
would get back IS his labt rs with Senator
Msgee and other patients hsd 80 acted
upon his nerves til be had bee forced
to take a few days rest, and he was
travelling swiftly from city to city 60 as
to have COZ slant change Of scene, she
could not tell Whsre telegram or other
message would reach him. The m M
bels Of the medical fraternity of this
city will say nothing Of Dr.. Browning
or his bill except Il at they think it is
the largest that was ever rendered in
this country fer medical attendance
at any rate, for the length Of time men
tioned. Until one year ago, or for a
period Of eleven months, Senator Ma
gee, who vas living at the Stratfo1d,
called at the Office Of Dr.. Browning.
Then he announced that he would lrs-
fer to have the doctor call to see him at
the hotel, and Dr.. Browning d d SO for
S number Of times, specified in the bill.
The Doctors time is valued at $50 an
hour and this same charge is continued
in the record Of several trips to health
resorts which the physician thought
would beneft his pstient. One Of these
charges is for sl2 900 for accompany
| ing the Senator to Hot Springs, Va. A
nurse at the doctors cfhoe said Friday
that his usual charges for treatment
at the Office we're $50 for an hour; ez
animation at the cfice, $50 an hour; ft 7
treatment elsewhere, $40 an hour. She
admitted that the charge Of $50 made
against the estate Of the lsta Senator
| wss double what the doctor usually re-
ceived, but said that it had been agreed
that should be the price the senator
would pay as he required great deal
Of the doctors time and caused him to
| lose other patient
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Fraudulent Healing

In the Federal Court here Stephen
A. Weltmer and Joseph NJ. Kelly,
president and secretary respectively Of
the Weltmer Institute of Magnetic
Healing in Gsvada, Mo, pleaded
guilty Of indictments charging them
with using the mail to defraud. Thay
threw themselves on the mercy Of the
court. Sentence is reserved. The in
stitute was advertised to heal "sll
diseases known to maa or woman,
giving absent treatment" and did such
a tremendous mail order business that
the Postofhce Department ordered
their nail stopped on fraud order.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
A Financial Panic.

A dispatch from Yokohona, Japan,
Says over twenty banks have suspended
payment st Osaka and in the southern
and central provinces. The Bank Of
Japan has assisted them but further
trouble is sppreheIded. A financial
panic prevails. About four years ago
Japan adopted the gold standard, and
it wss then predicted that her days Of
prosperity were gone.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
he kueW the Act,

Vaudeville Manager-No, we can
not book you to act. You see, we do
not allow any profanity in our house.
Badd (of Wroughten and Baddj-
Why, sir, there is not profane ex.
pression-not even any slang-in ouz
turn.
Manager-I know. But we do not
allow the audience to swear, either.
Baltimore American.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Entisied 10 semsSasa{i6s, {

Patience--Is that so that your sSs
gagenent IS broken?
Patrice-Yes, it is.
''And the ring; that's gone too?''
ayes; the mean thing asked me to
return it."
"Why, you wouldn't want to keep
the ring if the engagement was
broken, would you?"
"Certainly, would. Why, he wore
out four of my waists and nearly
fractured my ribs in three weeks.
Isn't that worth some. compensa.
tion?"-Yonkers Statesman.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Slow 70 Realize.

"My DEAR" said Mr.. Bickers to his
wife, 81 saw in the paper to-day de-
cision of Virginia court that the
wife may, in some cases, be the head
of the family"
"John Henry" replied Mrs. Bickers,
"the courts are sometimes very slow
about finding out things!"-Puck.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Another Opinion.

"Do you think bachelors ought to
be taxed?" asked Willie Washington.
NO." answered Miss Cayenne. 81
think the girls ought to make up
purses and pay them bounties for not
making homes unhappy."-Washing-
ton Star
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
It's Wicked to Lie.

"Tm surprised, dear, that your
friend, Miss Singleton, should encour
age wickedness."
"Why, Charles, she wouldn't. How
can you say such thing?"
because she did. She asked me how
old I. thought she was, and she kne"
I was too much of a gentleman to tel
the truth."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Money Tight.

Drug Clerk-I've been docked a
weeks salary for making a mistake
and killing man. Lend me FIVE dol
lars, won't you?
Friendly Poicenan-Couldn't pos
sibly. I've just been suspended a
week for killing another one.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Brevity.

"Why is breyity considered the
soul of wit?" asked the man who asks
foolish questions. 49,
Because" answered the man who:
makes foolish answers, when man
is short he is much more likely to be;
acute. Nothing stimulates mental ac-.
tivity like needing the money.-Bos-
ton Journal. a
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
His Recommendation.

Tom-Halloa, Bill! Ihear you have
position with my friends, Skinner 6
Co.?
Bill-Oh, yes; I have position as
collector there.
Tom-That's frst-rate. Who rec
commended you?
Bill-oh, nobody. I told them that
once collected an account from you,
and they instantly gave me the place.
-Tit-BitS.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
A Moral Lecture.

Miss Upperten-They say there is a
great deal of misery among the poor.
Miss Gotrox-Well, it's their fault.
There is Reggy van, Pelt, for instance,
with only $4,000 year, trying to
keep yacht and a stable Of horses
no wonder he's miserable.-Puck.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Nearer Yet and Dearer stilI.

When you were blushing young miss
And was your dutiful swain
A smile from you savored Of bliss
And frown filed my heart with pain.
You were dear then, but now, as my wife
OF course you're somewhat nearer
And in paying your bills, on my Life
I'd swear you get dearer and deareE
Chicago Daily News. Z:
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Can't Cut Him Entirely.

"Dear me-" sighed Mrs. Fiddlefaddle,
"since they were reduced, you know,
the Waxywoddles have become most
plebeian. Why, their son has actually
become postman.''
Eyes, but then" replied Mrs. Diddle-
daddle, there's one consolation, his
route is in the most exclusive district,
so he will still have some of our best
people on his calling list."-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01

Money" remarked the man who i
given to trite remarks, els the root o
all evil"
"That's nonsense" answered tn
commercial friend. ~ have read tn
histories treating of the subject witt
great care, and I am convinced tina
the snake who made the trouble in tn
garden of Eden didn't have della
to his name."-Washington Star.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
p-onbecv Fulfilled

"The late editors wife is something
of humorist.'
"Indeed?"
eyes. Took line from his original
salutatory and placed it on his tomb
stone"
"What was it ?''
eve are here to stay!"-Atlanta
Constitution.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Loyalty.

"Your wife," observed one of his
friends, says you are decidedly in
favor of amending the laws so as to
give women equal rights with men
in voting, holding office and dispos-
ing of property"
IF my wife says So" said Mr.
Meeker, Its so. I have always been
of the understanding that my mar
riage VOW bound me to love honor
and O.. K. her in everything."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Too Much Of g. Good Thing,

Jimson-What became Of that man
who had 27 medals for saving people
from drowning?
Dock Worker-He fell in one day
when he had them all on, and the
weight of 'em sunk Hmm. Y. Week
1yr
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Can't Bar All.

St. Peter-Did you ever do anything
very bad?
Fair Arrival-I| smuggled few
laces through the customhouse.
St. Peter-Oh, well, come in. We
can't get along without women.-N.
Y INanl,lr-
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
PaDa's Consent.

She-Isn't it lovely? Papa consents.
He-Does he really? S.szssS
She-Yes. He wanted to know who
you were, and I told him you were
tape clerk at Scrimp & Co.'s, and he
seemed real pleased.
He-I am delighted. :
She-Yes; and he said we could be-
married just as soon as you were taken
into the frm.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Self-Conviction.

The man who talks about himself,
Who flaunts his ines" and "Ps, =
But gives undoubted proof to those
Who hear him that he lies.
-Chicapo Record-HeralG,
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Good Cause for Deduction

Doctor-Why have you deducted a
quarter from my bill?
Patient-That is for the six cigars
you broke when you thumped my
chest.-Philadelphia Record.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Then He DodSeS.

Who says cannot meet my bills?
OF libels that's the worst!
Why, sirs, meet them every day
Unless 7 see them first.
Philadelphia Press.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
Not Always Necessary,

"I tell you it takes mighty smart
and shrewd man to accumulate large
fortune these days"
"Oh, I don't know; not while heir
esses are so easily satisfied as some
Of them seem to be."-Chicago Post.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
inst His Wav.

Mabel-I sometimes think that
Charlie doesn't love me-he acts so
silly.
Agnes-Nonsense! When he acts
silly that shows he's in earnest
Judge,
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
The Great Kaiser.

Mamma" said the bright young
woman, 81 wonder if weksaw all the
geysers when we were at Yellowstone
park
"I suppose so, dear. Why?'' s;
81 heard Mr. Pimpe-nickel telling
customer of his to-day that the sGey-3
ser Wilhelm was the greatest Of al. -
-Phila de1phia Press. s5sss
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
4 Eorebauded Lover.

"Shall we elope, George? ?''s.sssss
"Yes-if you think it viii pleaseyour
father. Financially, I'm not prepared
to get him down on ne."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
The CHANGED view.

81 always thought she was the.
most commonplace of girls.
"At any rate, she has just done q
most romantic thing"
'What, pray?"
Married a young man OF her own
age who is neither a coachman nor e.
prince::'-Leslie's Weekly.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
The Exception to the Rule

"When woman is telling anything
she always adds little to it," re-
marked the observer Of events and
things; except it is her age which she
happens to be telling."-Yonkers
Statesman,
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
ParadoGica1.

"Is love blind?"
$50 they say"
"Wel, how can they say love at first
sight?"-Chicago Daily News.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
The Beginning.

Divorce Judge-Wien did your do
nestle troubles begin?
The 'Plaintiff--On the day was mar
ried. your honor Chicago Daily News.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
An Anacllronism.

Theodore-He went so far as TO
call me puppy!
Harriet-And at your age! aae,
Boston Transcript.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01
An Awful Revenge.

Friend Ito amateur poet )-Isee yous
are sending off a manuscript TO the
Bonton Magazine. I thought you told
me only the other day you thoroughly
disliked and despised the editor OF that;
particular magazine? s4ss.
Poet-I do. That's why Tn sending
him my poem.-Judge. q
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01

The Girl-Beg pardon, does my hat
trouble you?
The Mani can see nothing else.
The Girl-Then I'll tell you what to
do. Just keep your eye on me, and
when laugh you laugh-when cry,
you cry.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01

Mother Hen-You're all right, my
dear, but you can't lay eggs like
mother used to lay.-Chips.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1901-05-01

the righteous aid of the wicked, and
We all want to die the former.
God grant that when that hour comes
you msy be at homel You want the
hand Of your kindred in your hand.
You want your children to surround
you. You want the light on your pill
low from eyes that have long reflected
your love. You want the loom still.
You do not want any curious strsrg rs
standing around watching you. You
want your kindred from afar to hear
your last prayer. think that is the wish
Of all Of US, But is that all? Gan
earthly friends hold Us when the bill: :
lows Of death come up to the girdle?
Can human voics charm cpen heavens
gate? Can human hands pilot US
through the narroWs Of des4h into
hesven's harbor? Csn an earthly
friendship shield US from the arrows Of
death and in the hour when satan shall
prscsic upon Us his inferoal arohosy?
No, no! Alas, poor soul, if that is all!
Better die in the wilderness, far from
tree shadow and far from fountain,
slone, vultures oircling through the
sir waiting for our body, unknown to
men, and to have no burial, if only
Christ would say through the solitudes:
II will never leave thee. I will never
forsake thee" From that pillow of
stone s ladder would soar hesvenward,
angels coming and going, AID across
the solitude and the barrenness would
come the sweet note Of heavenly min
strelsy.
Gordon Hall, far from home, dying
in the door of heather temple, said,
"Glory to thee, 0 Ged!" What did
dying Wilberforce say to his wife?
''Come and sit beside me and let US
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1901-07-17
NAVIGATION AIDED
Years Work in the Way of
Northwestern River
improvements.

From The journal BWreau. Room 20. Poss
Building, WGshiagtO1.
Washington, July 17.-The annual re-
port of Major Townsend of the engineer
corps on the improvement of the Missis-
sippi river between the mouth of the Mis-
souri, and St. Paul was received at the
war department to-day. 1t says that un-
der various allotments made by congress
operations have been carried on by hired
labor and the use Of the government plant
at La Crosse harbor and other points on
the river between St. Paul and Winona
Work was carried on at Teepecota point
where eleven wing dams and $50 feet of
shore protection were built In the yicin-
ity of Wilds Landing six wing dams and
600 feet of shore protection were built.
From Winona to La Crosse dams were
built and repaired and all contracts COM
pleted. From Winona to the Wisconsin
river work was carried on in the vicinity
of Richmond, Winters Landing. Dakota.
Dreshbach and La Crosse Twelve wing
and closing dams were built and 2,S45 feet
of shore protection were placed.
From the Wisconsin river to Bellevue
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1901-07-17

minor construction work was continued
and some dredging was done near Dubu-
que. In La Crosse harbor the lateral
bulkhead and cross dam were built and
filling between bulkhead and levee com
menced. The work during the year has re-
suited in an excellent channel The ex-
pend1tures on the section of the river in
charge OF Major Townsend aggregate
$565, for the year. The net expenditure
since the improvement was commenced
was$9. .99S.64. Major Townsend estimates
that 81, 000, 900 can be expended during the
next fiscal year.
The annual report of Captain ]. G. War
rem, IN charge of river and harbor work
on the west shore of Lake Michigan
shows that by dredging at Menominee
harbor the twenty-foot channel provided
Tor IN the original project has been OBJ
tanned. The benefit has been the straight
ening CT one of the angles in the channel.
He estimates that $13, ,750 can be expended
for maintenance during the next fiscal
year. The operations on the Menominee
river consisted Of the removal of shoals
In the channel Major Warren says that
$6,6O0 is required for the restoration and
maintenance of the channel. He also
recommends the consolidation Of the prof.
ects OF the improvement of the Menominee
river and harbor under one project.
TUFASCS nave D06u received at In6 war
department that Lieutenant Alfred H.
Morgan Of Minneapolis Postmaster Love-
joys brother-in-law, has passed the exam
ination for a second lieutenancy in the
regular army. He will shortly get his
commission.
Washington, July 17.-Major j. G. War
ren, In charge of river and harbor work in
the Milwaukee district, has made the fol-
lowing recommendations for the fiscal
year ending June 30, 1903:
Sturgeon Bay and Lake Michigan, $685.
900 for completing existing project, ship
canal; Ahnapee harbor, S2S, 900; Sheboy-
gan harbor, $4S,4OO for completion of
project and maintenance; Harbor of
Refuge, Milwaukee, $1S7,000 for main
tenance; Milwaukee harbor, $112, 500 for
maintenance; Waukegan, $1O0, COO for con-
tinuing project.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1901-07-17

only within his party, but within the
delegation from his own state of Iowa,
now solidly republican.
The man who purposes to undo his coll
league who presides over the house is
Representative "Pete" Hepburn. Mr..
Hepburn has long been an advocate of a
change of the rules of the house of rep
resentatives so that the power of the
speaker to control legislation in that
branch of congress should be curtailed
and the conduct of the business of the
house be left to the majority. He began
hight for a change in the rules before
the meeting of the last congress and
while the speakershtp campaign was in
progress. He had quite a following
among the republicans, who promised to
support him in the battle.
Mr.. Henderson himself, prior to his
election, and while he was anxiousfy try
Ing to get votes, intimated that he would
be willing to sanction a change in the
rules; that he did not care to have so
much power in his hands. After his cleo
tion, however, he frowned on any attempt
to amend the rules that made Reed
famous, and, despite Hepburn's repeated
efforts, forestalled all attempts to make
him less of czar than was his prede-
cesser.
Mr.. Hepburn Is determined that there
shall be something more than intimations
and halfway promises at the beginning
OF the next congress. He has begun
campaign for the amendment of the rules
and ts claiming the attention of the
members who have visited Washington
while he has been here to Henderson's 3
alleged abuse of power during the last
congress He has many supporters and
has been in constant correspondence with
members all over the country asking their
support In this movement. He promises
to make it lively for Mr.. Henderson and
the committee on rules, which, with the
speaker at It's head, dictates the
measures that shall be considered by the
house.