Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-06-13
POKES FUN At OUR WRINKLES
ANNAPOLIS AS VIEWED BY AN
IOWA HUM0RIST.
The Improvements NOted-Fine System Of
Waterworks-The Hospitality
of Her People.

4
one OF the cadet graduates OF The class OF
1901 OF the Naval Academy. while on a
visit to his son in the spring Of 90. Ii IS
well TO remark Just here that the COM
ment on "open sewers is not at all
| apropos at this time. as the old method
of surface drainage is done away with.
| and Annapolis now has the sewerage
system. The writer says
Annapolis has added one more year
| to her nearly three hundred since | last
saw her, but one tails to see any added
wrinkles. She is the only she who, having
passed twenty or thirty. will allow the
subject to be mentioned. The old girl
actually seems proud OF her age. She
fairly giggies when alluding TO her birth
in 1908, She must have been unusually
slow in ou,growing swaddhng clothes and
short dresses, as she was not confirmed
at ST. Anne's Church.till 1904, nor allow
ed to make her chartered debut into city
society until 1909. No wonder she talks
| hippantly OF centuries and disposes of
decades with a mere toss OF her head.
And yet can see that she is still grow
ing at a rate which can be measured in a
single year.
"Among the notedimprovements since
my last visit, observe that Maj. Militaire
has put new root on his smoke house.
and Mrs, George Washington Parke Gus
It's. OF Coon Alley, has white-washed the
front OF her mansion. The streets-all
OF which are either the spokes or tires of
the numerous wheels which were dropped
out of the brain of the man who laid out
the town-are paved with nice little
stones. Each stone is alleged TO possess
one smooth surface, but this is carefully
turned downward so as TO avoid too
smooth and slippery a surface. AS there
is only one such smooth surface, the
streets present a very knobby II not re-
cherche appearance. OGe lone coon
truck wagon creates more genuine city
noise than Chicago can claim for State
street. That's what makes things lively
here. Perhaps there are other elements
but, not having microscope, have not
discovered them.
Next to each curbstone are beautiful,
purling, murmuring, open sewer3-sort
of embryonic Chicago rivers, Each house
empties its quota through pipes under
the walks, which spurt at regular inter
walls, like "Old Faithful. This is very
JOhSS Nah
readily tell by the color or consistency
OF the eruption as to whether the hour is
proptious or otherwise. If it is dish
water. they pass by, knowing she is en-
gagged. II plain soapy water, they are
informed that she has completed her
toilet and is ready TO receive. During
the dishwater spoutings the practiced eye
can readily read the menu card OF the
preceding meal. Ii is soothing and ele
waiting TO the nose) to sit and mediate
upon these classic shores. 1t is touching
to see the aristocratic microbe snub the
plebian, cockeyed bacilli from Coon Al
ley or the laundry OF Un Hung Cuss. AS
might we'll be expected, these strepto-
coccic sans culotte return the compli-
ment with a diphtheric sneer and de-
clare they don't believe in mixed infec-
ton anyway.
"But we must not while away too
much time with bending down a soft
ear" to the typhoid music Of this patho-
genie tide, and so we start on a pilgrim
age to the head waters near St. AIMS.
Anne seems to have had cinch on the
godmother business when they were
| christening churches, streets, OF any
.
Queen Anne. Princess Anne Anne Arun-
| oel and Mary Anne-I think. George
got in his work with the sterner sex
There's King George. Prince George. St.
George, ETC.. down to BY George. No
| plebian George ever got in his work here
however. You had to be king, prince,
duke, count-or no account-or a saint
at least. They robbed the deck of all
the kings. queens, etc. and expect to
unearth the jacks and ten-spots before
am through with my explorations.
"They have a fine system OF waterworks
the most striking feature OF which is a
choice assortment of Queen Anne log
| pumps stationed al convenient intervals
along the curbstone. They are orna-
menied with long iron handles, and
although somewhat asthmatic from age
they are still service able. and do a rush
ing business despite the lavish dispensing
| of Anheuser- Bonnie Brier Busch Beer JUS
behind them. They are provided with
loving cups, the size and shape Of irving
pans, securely fastened 10 them by long
chains. All trains back into this city
This is because there is not sufficient
room in the city for the engine. Uncle
Sam and other soulless corporations owr
everything up to the city gates. and il
Annapolis ever grows il will be obliged
to simply swell on top like boil or q
wen. Wen that time comes. | should
like to witness il, for the old town is tor
heavy even now.
elf any tender foot thinks everything
is cramped and narrow here. he will sooI
be undeceived The Almighty mus
have created these people first. and found
himself too liberal in heart material, fol
he certainly put smaller ones into the
majority, which came subsequently from
the workshop. The citizens of Annap
oils are Past Masters in hospitality and
every other social grace which aids ir
making life worth the living. Yes in
deed, as they invariably say here.
don't like to disparsge my own state. bu
l must say that one can make more
friends and feel more at home here in Z
week than he can in Iowa in six months
One often hears of southern hospitality
but 10 realize what whole-souled. gen
uine arm-hearted. living thing it is. on.
must rub up against il. This is not tn.
real south, but they have the true south
ern hospitality which l have found il
every part of the south il has been m,
good fortune to visit.
/ It must require a world of grace Il