New-York tribune., 1901-05-26
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Gothenburg. Sweden correspondent Of The
Cleveland Plain Dealer writes: a number of
prominent persons here call in the newspapers for
voluntary contributions to a fund of S26,S0 in
tended to be given to the Ausustana College. Rock
Island. Ill. This money, when collected. will be
used TO defray the expenses OF a new professor
ship at that college"
Banks-You think look slum. Well. why
shouldn't /? l have lost itl rich aunt
Banks-Die suddenly? She isn't dead at all. Her
niece has Tilted me.-(Boston Transcript.
f. r. Sergeant. commissioner appointed by
the provisional government OF the Transvaal 10
inquire into the best system of dual languages 10
be adopted in the British colonies, is in Nor
treal for the purpose OF studying the system In
vogue in that province For some time the Brit
ish Government has been endeavoring TO settle
upon educational system for the Orange River
and Transvaal colonies. and has had agents
actively at work gathering information. Two syS-
TENS were proposed and both strongly advocated,
one BY which the English language should be
made the only official language OF the country
and the other that both the English and Dutch
languages be officially recognized. Mr.. Sergeant
has engaged the services OF a number OF Canadian
school teachers, whose services to be utilized
in applying some of the elements appertaining to
the systems in vogue in the provinces of Quebec
and Brunswick the educational sys-
tenn be applied in the colonies in South
Africa.
Yes. my boy, would gladly have YOU as a SON
in.law' but.er-Mahel is so young and immature
mend you one OF my-er-older brands.-CTid-Bits.
Professor Huxley once wrote in regard to
scientific congress over which he was to preside
"Al this week shall be occupied in hearing one
jackass contradict another jackass about questions
which of Importance"
Mrs. Clancy Cboastfully)-NIy husband was wan
o. the pallbearers at CalIahans funeral
Mrs. Casey (spitefully)-Aye! An we'll fitted fur
the job he was. He's used carryin the bier
that some wan ilse pays fur-(Philadelphia Press.
Truth" of London says: "As the number Of
Boer prisoners seems to be causing increasing
embarrassment 10 the government and l see
that the number Is now growing at the rate of
1000 month, / make the government a present
OF the suggestion by a large land
owner who is one of their strongest supporters.
He is much exercised the famine in the agri-
cultural labor market caused by the embodiment
of many militia battalions; and he asks why
If the miltlamcn have to be withdrawn for the
purpose of the campaign. the balance should not
he adjusted by bringing corresponding number
OF Beers over here and allowing them to take SER
vice agricultural laborers."
Yes" said the West Point cadet "the cruelty
We all have to put up with at the academy is
What is the trouble now?" asked the sympa-
They won't let us haze another any more"
-tWashngton Star.
There is no danger that any one will carry away
Uncle Sans money stored in the new Philadelphia
Mint. says ]. X. Taylor. the supervising architect
of the 1.-The vaults built on the solid
rock underlying the city. Fortunately it to
the surface here and extends under the building
and clear across the street We found early in our
work that there would never be any danger of tun-
nelling. as the rock is full of springs that the
smallest opening is Immediately flooded. The
would be tunneer would be drowned The vaults
are built of solid steel the gold vault being seven
inches in thickness, while the silver vaults are an
inch thick. II is necessary to take so great
precautions with the silver. ii Is bulky and
heavy ii could never be carried away except with
drays Even now there big ingots of silver
paulins. But have fear of Its being stolen"
Sad case of premeditated assault In San Fran
cisco. wasn't it?
What ASSAULT"
THE that happened down by the docks A
tim with wine bottle, and the helpless creature
fell In the bay. And the worst of il is, nobody
lifted a finger to help her out"
Say, what you talking about?''
Dealer.
The graduation essay OF a Kansas schoolgirl Is
entitled The Three Boxes-The Ballot Box the
Contribution Box and the Hat Box"
Philanthropist-What's the matter little bove
what are you crying abouta
Little Boy-The felers the street have formed
trust, and amt In H. A feller can't play base
pail or Skinny all by hisself, can heA(Boston
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