The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-03-08

| "Well,'' asked the other, "didn't
Campbell take you up?'
Mop was the funereal response: ':he
trun me down, an he trun me hard"
| Thrown down. was thus started on
career which even now shows no indica-
ton of lessening vitality.-Review Of the
Republic.
| Norman's mamma was something Of
stickler for propriety, and she was not
little annoyed that it seemed impossl-
BILE to make the boy give his uncle's name
| the customary handle. One day after
the little fellow had met with a scverer
Of his, he said:
Il mean to be good, mamma; but
ry: don't say Uncle Papa, do I?''
A good story is told Of ''Steve" Smith,
the new special agent in New York Of
the Boston Globe. When he was many
years-but not so many years-younger
he used to be very particular about his
clothing, punctilious to inc extreme in
matters of dress.
One day, being unable to finish his
business in Boston, he was invited to re-
main over night with Gen. Taylor, and
on account of the large number of guests
simultaneously EN- joying the generals
1
Taylor, now the able business manager
of the Globe.
1t was q stormy night. The wind
howled and the rain fell in torrents.
Smith could not sleep. He tossed about
and his restlessness kept even his bed
as he could Charley called out:
| "Say, Steve, have you got your pa
jamas turned up at the bottom?''
| why, no." said Smith.
| We'll, how do you expect to 90 to
sleep? Don't you know it's raining?'
Smith silently got up and arranged the
hem Tor hems) of his neither garment as
sound asleep, oblivious Of ad contracts or
anything else.-Fourth Estate.
An Orion man experimental in the use
of salt in raising potatoes last season. A
| few rows of hills in field he sailed
thoroughly, and these rows. yielded more
and better tubers than the unsalted rows.
| Having used the salt during dry SPELL
he claims that it kept the hills moist
Another thoroughly satisfactory result
was that the sailed rows were untouched
by the pestiferous potato bug.
--:O:-
4 gentleman invited a certain lecturer
to his house to take tea.
Immediately on being seated at the ia
| BILE a little daughter of the house said to
the guest abruptly:
| ''Where is your wife?'
The lecturer, who had recently sepa-
rated from his better half. was surprised
and annoyed at the question, and STAN
mered forth the truth:
| Il don't know"
Don't know" repeated the child
''Why don't you know?"
Finding that the enid persisted in her
interrogations, despite the mild reproOf Of
the parents. he decided to make clean
breast Of the matter and have it over at
once, so he said with calmness:
| 'Well, we don't live together. We
think, as we cant agree, we'd better
not"
| He stifled groan as the child began
again, and darted an exasperated look at
her parents.
But the little torment would not be
quoted until she exclaimed:
Cant agree? Then why don't you
mother do?'ITt-Bits. '
! The glib falsifer of North Missouri
paper preteDds to have heard of the fol-
lowing call for professional services sent
by local resident to doctor in a
neighboring town: Dear Doctor--My
wife's mother is at deaths door. Please
through. kansas City Journal.
| The smart. clean, well-dressed bog
with their damp bundles Of newspapers
and matches. This activity and indie
pendence had an unspeakable charm for
him: and after severe inward struggle
he left his doorway and sought one Of
| the muddy little news agents.
| sr1x h. o.1~
should be able to earn money as you do
If bought some papers and came to
this corner to sell them?'
What does the likes O you want sell
I'm tired of being idle at home"
dyer think you can old a quire O pa
pers in one and. race like Persimmon.
lick three or four boys bigger'n yourself
with one hand. while yer takes toff' S
ha'penny, an yells Football" all the
time?"
ar No. ,;1 ! DON'T 3t' replied the we'll
Then yer no good in the news-a= ency
biz said the ragged boy. You'd better
get yer people to prentice yer to some
thing easy."-Tit-Bits.
In the Near Future.-Old Friend
"And so both Of your children are study
ing professionals Hostess-.'Yes, my
daughter is in. a polytechnic college
studying mechanical engineering. and my
son is in Paris. learning dressmaking."-
New York Weekly.
! Mrs Gilbert relates the following in
her "reminiscences of the stage in Serb
ner's Magazine: Il remember once in
Dublin we were just going to oren our
show-we were something like the fam
Gus Ravel brothers, only our work would
be serious comedy, while theirs was
farce-and We went in to see the per
Torrance of Faust as actors always
will go to the play, when not working
themselves. Something went wrong with
the trap that should have let Mephis-
topheles down to the under world. He
went halfway down, and then stuck:
they hitched him up bit. and he went
down better, but stuck again, They
tried two or three times, and then had
to lower the curtain with him sticking
head and shoulders above the trap, <
voice in the gallery shouted out: Hur
rah, boys, hen's FULL and the house
roared.'' -