Evening star., 1901-12-28
IT WAS A BAD MlX-UP

II VIM OFC WtN-Of
There is a certain 10th street business
man who spent period of extremely dis
NAL mental cropping in New York last week.
He went over to the big town to purchase
for his wife-with whom he has been on
exceedingly even and amcable terms for
little matter of twenty years or so, since
his marriage-a Christmas present that
she picked out for herself while on visit
there a couple of months ago. He return
ed to his hotel one of the prominent Broad
way hostelries, for dinner along toward
o'clock in the evening, and the clerk hand
ed him three kilograms. One of them
read this way:
WASHINGTON, D. c., Dec. - 1901.
Just saw in Star your decree handed
down today: Congratulations. Now will
you be good?
The 10th street business man held this
telegram out in front OF him as if it had
been sample of ancient tapestry and
gnawed quite fiercely on his mustache. He
had a Washington friend named Frank"
and he wondered whether Frank had ac-
cumulated a holiday feeling so long in ad-
vance Of the open eggnog season
opened the second Of the kilograms. 1t
bore the Washington date line also, and it
was signed Jimmy" 1t read this way:
Put her there, old pal. Star announces
you were made bach today. Don't know
whether you get alimony or not"
When the 10th street business man had
read and re-read this four five times,
he was, naturally enough. quite consider
ably Jared. Jimmy was a business as
sociate Of his with whom he had gone to
school and with whom he was on terms of
the most pronounced intimacy. Crunching
the two opened kilograms In his fist and
walking toward the main entrance to the
hotel, the Washington man screwed up
his features and tried to reason things out.
Reasoning he found to be of no avail, and
so he mechanically opened the third dis
patch. 1t was signed by a well-known
firm Of Washington lawyers, and 1t read
after this wise:
absolute divorce, ground Of desertion,
granted today. No alimony. Defendant to
pay all costs. Congratulations. When are
you returning?"
The Washington man pumped himself
into a big leather chair and gazed hard at
the tips Of his shoes. For q couple of
minutes he wondered whether he had gone
| mad-whether, like some of the chaps he
had occasionally read about in the news
papers, he had suddenly lost his personal
ity several years before and wandered
away from home, and was just coming to,
after having, without remembering any
thing about it. instituted suit in Washing
ton for divorce from his wife He looked
at the addresses on the telegram envelopes,
and all Of them bore his surname and two
initials right enough.
lie uTlIIeQ amnesty INTO the Dar or the
hotel and took a particularly ample drink.
Instead Of pulling him out Of his daze, the
drink threw him into still deeper perplexity.
He decided to get his key and go to his
him two more kilograms with his key. One
of them, signed ID. S."-initials which he
couldn't fathom-read as follows:
You win everything but permission to
resume your maiden name. Thus endeth
a sad story. Star publishes announcement
this evening. Congrats.'
The other telegram, also signed with ini-
tials that he couldn't recall, was worded
this way:
Your application granted today. You
want to never do so no more. Come back
and celebrate"
| The Washington man was in a nightmare
as he took the elevator and ascended to
his room. When he had locked himself in
his room he gaZed at himself searchingly in
| the glass for signs of insanity. There was
such worried, hang-dog look in his eyes
! that he concluded he must have suddenly
gone mad. Moreover. the feeling grew
upon him that he had been insane before al
different intervals, and that during one OF
| these clouded periods he had sued his wife,
| to whom he was devoted, for a divorce on
| the ground of desertion. That, at any rate,
was about the only way he could figure it
| out. He was still pacing eXcitedly up and
| down his room when bellboy raped on
| the door and handed him another telegram
! 1t was signed "Tom'-the Washington man
was chummy with any number Of Toms
and it went this way:
You win out on cross suit. Decree
granted today, desertion. Have sent you
| copy Of Star"
Its all off," said the Washington man to
himself, wildly running his hands through
| his hair. This is the limit. There's moth
| ing Left for me to do but to ship cattle
steamer to Glasgow. or something
He raced downstairs to the bar and took
| two more high ones at close intervals. just
| as he was gulping down the last one man
with whose face he was somehow familiar
| Strode up to the bar and was cordially ad-
| dressed by the bartender.
WELL Mr.. Blank said the barkeep to
| the man whose face was somehow familiar
to the 10th street business man. whats it
| going to be?'
| Then the great white light broke in upon
| the mind Of the 10tn street business man,
| for Mr.. Blanks" surname was the same
as his own. He reached into his inside coat
pocket, produced the bunch OF crumpled
| kilograms and handed them over to the
| other Mr.. Blank without a word The
| other MI Blank took them with a certain
expression Of suspicion which swiftly
| changed to of wonder and pleasure
when he had read the kilograms.
How did you get hold Of these and open
them, sir?' he inquired Of the 10th street
business man.
Clerk gave EN- to me and came near
| convincing me thereby that I'd gone off my
| head was the reply. my names appar-
emily the same yours
They compared notes, and ascertained
| that their surnames and initials were the
| same, although neither, after many years
residence in Washington. had ever met up
with each other, only vaguely hearing of
each other occasionally
The man to whom the kilograms belonged
| might have been exhibiting his exuberant
! hospitality toward the somewhat limp 10th
| street business man yet had not the latter
| concluding that his little old Washington
| home was the best place for him after such
| shock, decided upon taking the first train
southwark.
CALIFORNIA FRUITS