The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-09-06


starts the other side.
did you vote for the Liberalism
"No.''
Ibid you vote for the Tories?'
mo, l amt got vote!'-London
Spare Moments.
OWEN MOORE.
| Owen Moore
Left town one day,
Owen Moore
Than he could pay;
Owen Moore
Came back today,
Owen Moore.
Detroit Free Press.
Sam Elder told the doctors some
| pretty good stories the otter afternoon at
the Massachusetts Medical society din
| the way his hearers laughed I should
think the yarns were about all new
| One WAS about an old practitioner, who
| because OF advancing years had relin-
pushed all of his out-of-town practice to
his young assistant. One night the older
physician was called Oh by two men in a
buggy, one of whom wanted the doctor
to come to his house, eight miles away,
and attend his wife, who was very i'll.
''Sht' will have no one but you, doctor"
| said the man.
"Well, I'll go for $40, and not cent
lcsS,' said the doctor.
\ whispered consultation went on in
the carriage. and finally the physician
| heard a voice say:
! Better pay the ten. It's a good deal
| cheaper than burying her.
| And the doctor got his money.-ROstol
| Journal.
Identical.-Mr. Pitt-"It is odd that
the lecturers motto and the highway
| mans motto are the same"
Mr.. penn-''What is their mOtto?'
Mr.. Pitt-'Stand and eiyer.'-Pitts-
burg Chronicle-Telegraph
Counsel-"I insist On an answer to my
question. You have not told me all the
| conversation. | want to know every
| thing that passed between YOU and Mr..
Jones on the occasion to which you re-
| fer
Reluctant Witness-"I have told YOU
| everything of any consequence"
! "YGu have told me that YOU said to
him: Jones, this case will get into court
s.me day Now l want to know what
H., said in reply
thing in this business that I'm ashamed
of. and if any snoopin', little. yee-hawin'
tour-by-six. gimlet:eyed lawyer, with
half a pound Of brains and sixteen
pounds Of jaw. ever wants to know what
! I've been talking to you about, You can
| tell him the whole story Tilt
Keeping Busy.-'Why are you so pen
sive?' mo reason in PARTICULAR an
Swerc1 Willie Washington. Il didn't
have anything else to do. so thought
might as we'll look as if l were think
ing" Washington Star.
Once a wine agent intruded upon a par
ty of which Maurice Barrymore was one
The agent told Barrymore he was a man
Of good taste and all th>e, and wound up
by saving. when You want bottle of
wine in future. will YOU not crafty me
by asking for my wine"' "Why, of
course answered Barrymore. most gra.
ciou>ly; Il shall be delighted to ask for
yonr wine. But, heavens: suppose they
should have it,
The Chip Off the Block-'I can tel
You one thing. Maria. II Johnny is Xix.
me. he will have good staying qualities
anyhow" He has them now. John. He'd
stay in bed till noon every day if I'd let
him. Boston Traveller.
\ small boy was at a table where his
mother was not near to take care of him
and il lady next to him volunteered her
services. LET me cut Your steak fol-
you,'' she said: IF can cnt it the way
you like it, she added. with some de.
gree of doubt ''Thank YOU" the boy
responded accepting her courtesy: u
shall like it the way you cut it. even ii
YOU do not cut it the way like it.'-The
Ledger Monthly.
Hawkins-"I tell you what, Seller:
reached the top in a hurry"
Robbins-"YeS. he must have made
pretty good time, for he has been blow
ing ever since he got there. Smart Sc:
Mrs. Eddy-"There is nc matter; all is
mind
Learner-"Is money matter?'
Mrs. Eddy-"Ihere is no matter"
Learner-"Well, l have million dol
lars in my mind. Will YOU please cash
me check. fer a hundred thousand:"
Mrs. Eddy@"1es: in my mind"
Learner[:\o matter-never mlnd.-
THAT mob scene was handled Will
splendid effect" said the critic.
oh. yes replied the manager. "Yo,
see. we hire the Villains creditors to g
On in that scene. '-Tt-Bits.
Law Notes tells of trial. in which
the following remorseful letter appeared
in evidence:
Mr.. Bidwell, Dear Sir: This is what
never expect to come to. But it is trouble
and no one to help NEE out. So l want yoi
to have this young woman Buried. Blu,
NEE, let me lay top of ground for the Tur
key Buzards to eat; for l have did rong.
JOSEPH BRADLEY.
She-'I love this excessively no
weather! Don't you, Mr.. Boreham y
He-"Eo! I can't stand it. l shall z,
away if it continues" She-"I do hop,
it will!''-Punch.
mpartial.-Tess-"I never see Miss
Spinner out wheeling that Mr.. Wheel
} er and Mr.. Sprockett are not with her.
Jess-''Yes, she's got them both on hel
Tandem" But she rides an individual
Wheel" Eyes, but she's bicycle maiC
!: for two.' "-Philadelphia Press.
Geraldine--"At what hour will you cal
tomorrow night?"
Gerald-"What time is it your father:
feet get to sleep?'-Smart Set.
II Sha-"What hannano6 u,hoD xo,, ~