davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

The lawyer who evidently considers
life one huge. continuous joke entered
the clerks office at the city hall with
an expression of extreme radiance over
spreading his countenance. The clerks
and others having business in the office
ut the time ceased their several pur-
suits. Experience had taught them
that the aforesaid lawyer would say
something Of an entertaining charac-
ter.
Gather round. boys" he said. Il
have n dandy for You this morning
The speaker paused The Others 81
lentIy waited for what was coming.
Now listen carefully" resumed the
lawyer and note the beauty Of the
connection between the three sections
Of this little conundrum. Here il is:
If the postmaster should visit the zoo
and while there be eaten by the wild
animals, what o'clock would 1t be- "
There was another pause. Finally
the clerk in charge Of the dockets ven
turned the answer. 1T would be all day
with the postmaster"
Wrong, entirely wrong" comment
ed the lawyer. Il didn't ask what time.
| asked what O'Clock would it be-
\ third pause. Then by general CON
sent the answer was requested. The
lawyer gayly announced. Ate p m"
Before the gathering had recovered
the lawyer had fitted from the room
pcals to try the postmaster zoo wild an
imals conundrum OIL the higher tribu
Washington Star.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

In Syracuse Is a cave said to have
been constructed by the tyrant Dicny-
sius, probably used as prison. 1t is
made in the shape Of an immense hui
man ear and it's acoustic properties are
most remarkable. Maxwell Sommer-
vile, the author of Sands of Sahara"
visited it and had its properties eXhib-
tied to him by the guide stationed
there.
The man took a sheet of letter paper
and. standing within the portal of the
ear, struck the edge of the paper with
the forefnger of his right hand once,
twice, thrice. Each light tap was re-
peated through the deep oritices of that
stone ear as if it had been blow with
a heavy sledge hammer on the roof of
an iron house, He then ratified the pa
per slightly, and that feeble sound was
augmented a millionfold. reverberating
through the vaults above and beyond
like the crash and roll of thunder He
whistled. spoke and called. Thousands
of stentoran voices repeated every
sound. Turning to my companion, !
said
1--WE must not longer tarry. Let us
embark. Now we shall go to Kabylia,
on our way to the desert of Sahara"
Myriad lungs of stone caught up the
last word Of each phrase and answered
aloud, "Tarry -arry-embark- ark -Ka-
bylia bylia-S Sahara hara-ara-a "a"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

A queer English law. called the ''tlp.
plug act of 175l." provides that an
innkeeper cannot recover for debts for
liquor amounting to more than So. The
son of an eminent English throat spe-
ciallst lately ran up bill Of $3.50 at an
English public house and based a re-
fusal to pay upon the validity of this
act. AS the statute was still on the
books, the judge was obliged to &C.
knowledge its force.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

Howard Paul toiI 900 amusing story
a. his first Italian tour when party
~ - were pl!oieHl absui hy Thomas
r,sf. the founder 81 tlr famous i~m'
we nsccrtaiuel that De had ar
ranged al Pisa Tor a number OF open
carriages 60 take as from the railway
station 10 the leaning tower-ah0ut tie
sDIv object of Interest there was to
see In that archaic place. ! telegraph
81 10 the mayor of Hlsa that Coos 5
circus from England would pass
through the town and that ] desired
him 10 announce &c ly bulletin on the
Marie and any points where the pub
lie would see the notice. that they
might extend TO the troupe hearty
welcome.
Not suspectlng a joke, the mayor
did rs | suggested. and when We ar
rived. entered the coaches and drove
/ I'm procession through the town the
streets were throneed with spectators,
who now and then sent up delirious
cheers and shouted 'yivas' in demon
stratlye fashion. Mr.. Cook Il rode In
. his carriagel was astounded at the
enthusiasm Of the Inhabitants and WAS
puzzled to know how they knew the
/ English tourists were coming, as lie
had only communicated with the sta
ton master regarding the vehicles.
.Of course. as the author Of the little
comedy, | could not enlighten him, and
when my American friend and | called
on the mayor 10 thank him for his
courteous attention to my requests lie
gently inquired where the horses were,
as the inhabitants would prefer To
have seen us mounted. My Yankee
partner in the sell was equal 10 the
occasion. and. rs he spoke little ital-
ian, he Informed the official that the
horses were so numerous they would
come on 10y n later train.
THE secret was well kept. and. as
Mr.. Cook and none OF the tourists We're
|lincuists and as We only remained in
Pisa three hours. they all departed in
wouderment as 10 why their advent
had earned such extraordinary ex.
ent."-Argonaut
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
out of Cbildren.s wou,bx

The teacher of a Sabbath school class.
says The Christian Register, approach
ed one little fellow who was present
for the first time and inquired his
name, for the purpose of placing it on
the roll, We'll" said the youngster,
they call me Jimmie for short, but
my maiden name is James"
This is a good mate for the naive and
somewhat boastful statement of a lit.
tie girl in Buffalo household who as.
sured playmate that she not only had
two maiden aunts, but maiden grand
mother!
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
By Harold MacGrath "

that she was In Vienna last winter
Because" said /. Miss I.audors
never was in Vienna"
But. man. my eyes,
Il do not care anything about your
eyes
What makes you so positiveT
knowledge"
do you love herr" bluntly.
No"
"Because'-
There is another. Pembroke, to-
night will he pregnant with posSlhili-
ties. You will see the woman you
love and the woman love"
What do you mean:"
Have you ever heard of her serene
Aighness the Princess Hildegarde OF
uohenphalia"
so hlgh?"
Yes"
"Then the woman saw in Vienna"
WAS the princess"
But this remarkable likeness"
Perhaps | had best tell you all
And when had done his establishment
knew no bounds.
Great George, that makes Miss Ian
Tors a princess too"
ut does. truly. Herein lies the evil
of loving above ones station. In our
country love is like all things-free To
obtain. We are in country which is
not free. Here those who appear 10
nave the greatest liberty have the
least"
"And he'knows nothing about it,"
Nothing"
why tell her" he asked, fearful Of
his own love affair now.
at is a duty. Some day she might
learn too late. This afternoon shall
visit the chancellor and place the mat.
ter before him and ask his assistance
He must aid me to find the proofs"
Pembroke began kicking the snow
with his toes.
81 wish you had not told me- Jack"
at is for the best. You and | are
in the same boat. We ride or sink to
gether."
At luncheon his mind was absent
and he ate but little, and | ate less
than he. 1t was going to be very hare
for me to meet Gretchen.
The chancellor waved his hand to
ward a chair. We were very gOot
friends.
What is it now?" he asked, smiling
Il dare not stir up the antagonist
against the government to give you
story. and, aside from the antagonists
it is dull"
Il will find the story in the presen
Instance" said |. And in the fewes
words possible | laid before him tn
object of my visit.
This Is a very strange story" h
said, making pyramid of his finger
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

All Esklm0s have good teeth, but
they are subjected to severe usage,
being used for pinchers, vises AMI
futing machines.
The teeth are employed in drawing
bolts. untying knots, holding the
mouthpiece of a drill, shaping boot
soles. stretching and tanning skins.
When they become uneven from hard
usage they are leyeled of with file
or milestone.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
Not n GoaJ Iior

Mrs. Newbrlde-l didn't see Won ot
my wedding.
Mr.. Stingee (who saved the price of n
gift)-Why, | didn't get any invitation.
Mrs. Newbride-Tm sure one was
sent to your house on Sixteenth street.
Mr.. Stingee-No, it wasn't. 1t was
sent to the same number on Fifteenth
street, and-er-that isl declare there
goes my car! Goodby!--C Catholic Stand.
ard Times.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

The blood is constantly being purified
by the iWug- liver and kidneys. Keep
these organs ia healthy condition and
the bowels regular and you Will have no
need OF a blood purifier. For this pur-
pose there is nothing equal TO Chamber
Iaiu's Stomach aud Liver Tablets, one
lose Of them will do YOU more goodthau
"A dollar bottle Of the best blood purifier
Price, - cents Samples free at Thurs
toms drug store.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

Two clerks named Thomas and Clar-
ence were in the employ Of a wealthy
merchant Thomas was always an in
dustriouS lad, but Clarence was much
given to friyolity and was extravagan
in his habits In after years Clarence
married his employers daughter and
was made a partner in the business.
Thomas continued to be an honest, in
duStrious clerk all his life, and his
services were much appreciated by
Clarence and his father-in-law.
Moral-There is no royal road to
success.-Ncw York Commercial Ad-
vertSer.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
Avoiding worry.

Wife-Here comes a friend Of mine.
Let's turn into this side street until she
passes.
Husband-Q uarreled with her?
NO, but don't want you TO see her
"HUm! Why nOtE
81 know youll admire that new dress
Of hers, and it will only worry you to
think what a ridiculous fuss you maize
over the bills for this cheap thing I've
got on."-New York Weekly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
All Her Emit

Mr.. Peev.sh-Where is that book of
mine? You know | told you last night
where had put it for safe keeping.
MIS-. Peev sh-Yes, dear, but | don't
remember where you said you had put
Mi. Pcevish-Well, declare! Women
can't remember blessed thing!-Phil,
adelphia Record.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

A friend of mine, the minister Of
west end chapel in London, tells how.
in his last visit 10 America, lee preach
ed IN one Of the larger jails and after
the service visited some OF the prison
ers in their cells One case interested
him especially, man of good educa-
ton and address and seemingly of
abilities fitted to command success In
the world My friend gave vent TO his
kncere distress mt finding such man
IN such position and was going on 10
Improve the occasion" when the pris-
ouer cut IN with the remark that he
believed In England we We're fond of
fox hunting
My friend, regarding it as a broad
hint to change the subject, assented.
And may | ask" said his compan-
ion. when n man gets fall, does be
give mp hunting:' And on getting the
only possible answer to such a ques-
ton he added, Il have had a bad fall,
and no mistake. but / count on better
luck another time"
This case is thoroughly typical. The
true professional is not n weak crea-
ture who yields to uncomfortable i'm
pulse. Loving life Of adventure and
having a soul above working for his
living. lie pursues q life Of crime with
full appreciation of its risks
Change those risks TO certainties. and
you at once supply motive adequate
to influence his course. If every fox
hunter ended by breaking his neck, fox
hunting would be stunned. save by a
few desperate men, and the same
would be true Of professional crime of
this character if ii always ended in
disaster. Nineteenth Century.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
Boston & Maine R. P
WINTER ARRANGENENl
l. h.4r r...
.ins leave Newport.

Trains leave Newport.
For ~. Iohnsbu-y Al : n. tn..12 -. II o.
auI III - p. "a. Return az - UI. is q. AMI
10 - a. Iu-. Hrd a - %. m.
For Wells River 90 M. u 70. D. Il o.
aut IL 20 p. nl. Return az - ~ IL 10 .15
@ - o u.. 3 - ami 3 80 q. m.
FoT y httc River Jet at q. M and Il 90
p. N. Return al az - aud : Os O. ln. and
80 p. m.
FJr Plymouth at : a. NJ. II - and III. q,
.. IN. Return at ~ 81 and - q. -n. aai
For Concord ut : n. M. IL -. Il - and
II - p. ~. Return at ana Il 10 a. o..
, %. . 80 aud 30 80 p m.
For Manchester At a. m, ! . %. II -
and IL 30 p. m. Return al ; Ia. 40 a6 and
II 3 a. ia . and s10 u pm.
For Lowell at q. m, = 10, Il - and
~ - %. m Return at . 80 and lU 30 O M
: . and % - y. IN.
For Springfield. Mass.,o : q m. and Il o5
p. m. Return at g 10 a. m, and % M
For Nashua June. at : a. m. l . %. Il -
and = 30 p. n. Return at 10 o6 and II o.
a. M. 80 and % so p. m
For Boston ct O. m. / 2 -, Il - and
I'll - p. m. Return at aud l % q. ra.. 30
and - - p, m.
I.r- Runs daily. Daily except Monday
Al other trains run daily except sunday
Trains leave Groyeton Tor
Lancaster ~ / . a. m, l . - and : % m.
Return at c 20, and l ! 81 a. NJ, . , . o. 10.
Littictou at : @ a. NJ, l = -. and p. m.
Return at 40 - a. m. and = p. n1.
Wells River : 3 "a. Va, II p, and o. m.
Return at . 80 q M, and 3 - %. IT.
plymouth NJ i = q. M. / - and D. m.
Return at : 80 %. m, and ,. 10.
Concord at l., "A. m, -. and D. n.
Return at q q. and = 90 =. m.
Manchester at 70 a. n. l = - and : o. m
Return AT . 10 and 81 d. m.
Nashua Jet. at > Il. m. l. -. &; : D. NJ,
Return ~ Il o. q m,
Springfield at : . a. M, = - and p m
Return at . Re-. IN.
( Boston at > n. m, e p and p. N
I RI turn at q a. m and p IN.
DANA !. FLANDERS,
CEN Pass & Ticker Act
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
Last winter | was conGnod - ~. ~,

Last winter was confined to my bed,
with very bad cold on the lungs.
Nothing gave me relief. Finally my
wife bought a bottle of One Minute
Cough Cure that effected a speedy cure.
! cannot speak too highly of that excel
lent renedy."-Mr. T. X. Houseman
Manatawney, Pa. P. J. Flaherty, drug
store, Island Pond.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
s,l!..s;'lI,!I,iIHIfs.

i, uua from Cug' er, Colebrook North ~-~st.
lord, Lancosl's North Conway, BOSTON.
Portland, aiE Tli points in the State
of Mairc acc Maritime royinccs.
In effect Octuber s.. 1900
TRAINS LEAVE North Stratiord 90 fo'.
loNs- Fer CpleirpoE and BeeChrr Falls at
1o q. m, = 90. ami : 40 p. m.
For Cuokehirc. pudwell Junction and Line
Ridge at = 20 p. Ia.
l'u- Quebec ana all points on the Quebec
Central Ry. = 20 u. IN.
For Lancaster u - a. IN. and 2.GI D. N
Tor Quebec Junction, Portland ard East.
eru points COS o. vi. and = 35 y. nj.
For Hoston, VIA Portland, . - a m and
2."5 p. m.
GEO 7. EVANS
Vice President and Gen. " anacef.
=. +. EOOTHBY, 6. =. * r. A.,
PORTLAND Nj.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

settled. Your friend may in truth be n
the eyes Of men they are sisters; in the
eyes of the law they are total stran-
gers. | shall not ask you to congratu-
late me upon my success. | shall now
wed the Princess Hildegarde with u
sense of security. Come-have you seen
her yet? She does not know that you
are here. 1t will be surprise and a
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

when man In the west likes not
another" said British Columbia man,
he is in no way disposed to hide that
fact under bushel basket or to con
ceal 1t from either the gentleman dis
liked in particular or the rest of the
community in general.
Il remember an example of this trait
that came under my notice some years
ago in Idaho. A certain old fellow
named Haas ran paper there, and he
and Judge Buck, the judge who rem
dered the celebrated decision in the ia
nous Poor Man Tiger litigation, were
sworn enemies. Another old timer
named Cheney disliked Haas and Buck
and had it in for them both.
zone night at Wallace a dinner was
given, at which Buck, Haas and Che
ncy were present, and at late stage in
the proceedings Cheney was called mp
on for speech. don't remember the
topic he chose or how he brought it in.
but when he got through Cheney left
in the minds of his hearers no manner
of doubt as to how he felt toward the
other two
Gentlemen said Cheney as he
hung unsteadily to the end Of the Ia
Bile, for the wine had been passing
freely, old man Haas says Judge Buck
Is a perjurer and blackmailer, and
Judge Buck says old man Haas is a
horse thief and liar. AS both the
gentlemen are extremely well acquaint-
ed with each other and should know
whereof they speak, do not feel call
ed upon to dispute either statement
And then he sat down amid tumul
f"""s annlause. New York Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

One of the most exciting Alpine ad-
ventures ON record was Mr., Tuckett's
race With an avalanche ca the Eiger
glacier in 1871 He was .seculjug the
glacier with two fr.caEs and .dide.
Says Travel;
The glacier sloped soncw l.. atenp'y,
and on the upper part, ahovc.thc climb
crs. mass Of loose. freshly fallen
SNOW had collected. suddenly tie tray-
elers heard a laundering noise and
perceived huge mass of snow AMI Ice
sliding down toward them. They
could only try TO reach thu rocks ut tie
side of the glacier hoping TO do so
before the avalanche should sweep
them away. Through the knee deep
snow they ran for their ives.
Il remember said Mr. Tuckett. "be-
ing struck with the idea that it seemed
as If the avalanche were sure of its
prey and wished to play with us for
awhile. At one moment II let US mag
Inc that we had gained on 1t, and the
next, with mere wantonness Of vindic-
tive power, it suddenly rolled out a
vast volume OF grinding blocks and
whirling snow, as if TO show us that it
| could outtank US any moment it chose.
Nearer and nearer it came, its front
a mighty wave about to break. 1t aim
ed straight at us, swift, deadly, i'm
placahe. The next instant we saw no
more. 4 wild confusion of whirling
snow and fragments Of ice, frozen
cloud, swept over us, entirely conceal
/ ing us from one another But still we
were untouched, and still we ran.
! Another half second. and the mist
/ parted. There lay the body of the mon
! ster, whose head was still careering
away at lightning speed far below US,
/ motionless, rigid, harmless"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

/ have been troubled with indigestion
for ten years, have tiled many things
and spent much money to no purpose uu-
ill tried Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. have
taken two bottles and gotten more re.
lief from them than all other medicines
taken feel more like hoy than ]
have felt in twenty years" Anderson
Riggs of Sunny Lane, Tex. Thousands
have testified as did Mr.. Riggs P. J
Flaherty, drug store. Island Pond.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19

You cannot enjoy perfect health. rosy
checks and sparkling eyes if your liver
is sluggish and your bowels clogged
DeWitt's Little Early Risers cleanse the
whole system. They never grippe. P. J..
FIaherty, drug store, Island Pond.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
GRAND IIITTTE4Em


In effect Januayl.lcc,
Passenger service ai Island l..#
East bound lglr.
AIaf and fa-stUsrT 3 ~ a. -- -.-..-.
o. ms erI1es' H.. TI. rl. a.-I.. ..--.....
West bound leave
Nirtt ezprr~, l. 80 am. nail ami -....-
aer GOO g. m.i express las a.r.
Arrive from east
Night express f---b a. ms mixed o.
express lis o. m-. mail uaE r....--.-
100 o. "a. se
Arrive from west.
Night EVnress 2.11 m: rv--a.. Boz co..
IN: passenger Ia D.. ru. q.
Tire trains designated o. ..ufeff s,-.-..-.
run daily the uthers daily caerrt ~r-....
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1901-04-19
Picturesque Pan American Route :,
Buffalo.

JOHN REEVE. AGrNI. CTR
ISLAND POND. VI.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-01-22
FELL THROUGH TRESTLE.
Ohio Mans Narrow Escape From Dealt
at Wheeling.

Wheeling, w. Va, Jan. 19.-Arthur
Irwin, assistant Baltimore & Ohio ticket
agent, and other persons who happened
in the vicinity of the mouth of the
creek last night heard loud cries of
"help!" and hurried investigation re-
vealed the fact that a man was in the
creek below hanging on a projection
on the south abutment of the new Balti-
more & Ohio bridge. A rope was Sc
cured and finally skiff was located in
the Baltimore & Ohio freight house.
Willing hands slid the boat to the water
and the man was taken from his per-
ilous predicament When one of the
occupants of boat reached out for the
unfortunate man and he clutched it,
he cried, There's warm hand"
The E.en was hanging on q projection
on the pier and In water up to his neck.
H. was taken to the ST. Charles hotel,
where stimulants We're administered
and he was given a vigorous rubbing to
relieve him from the chill. He appeared
to be sixty or seventy years of age and
walled and howled in a pitiful manner.
Little information could be gained
from his rambling. disconnected re-
marks. At first he wanted to know if
he was In the MonongaEelG house, and
said he was James Guthrie Daley. of
Pittsburg. When asked where his
home was he said he had no home and
lived wherever he placed his hat.
He was taken to the city hospital,
where under the influence of warm
drinks he soon fell asleep. At the hos
pital ne stated his home was near Ma
rietta and he was walking to Bellaire
when he fell through the trestle. How
long he remained IN the creek before
diocoyerod = nof N oyvn.. A uida rrc,.. !.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-01-22
viii Go After kuhnS.

Columbus, Jan. 19.-Warden Darby, of
the penitentiary will send an officer for
Marvin Kuhns, who Is under arrest at
Lafayette, Ind. Prominent attorneys
Of Columbus have expressed the opinion
that the requistion upon the governor
Of Indiana for the extradtlon of Kuhns
which Governor Nash ISSUED last week,
is Illegal and that he cannot BE return.
ed to Ohio. They say that an escape
from penal institution Is not an offense
under the Ohio laws and cite decision
of the supreme court In which the ruling
is made that it is the states business
to keep its convicts safely imprisoned
Warden Darby, however, says that
escaped prisoners have many times been
brought back from other states, and he
sees no reason why Kuhns cannot be
reclaimed from Indiana. He expects
the Indiana officials, in view of the
numerous crimes which Kuhns has com
mtted in that state to vigorously con-
test his extradition, and he is prepared
for determined legal fight.