Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1901-09-28

Life.
Trolley Car Conductor-Say tbi. ia.
ell Is no good. Mr.. Endseat-Well nov.
mind; give it to the company.-Rroo,
Ign Eagle.
There is one way that King Edwo,s
can keep his chaplains busy" "Wba,
wayf Praying for long reign y
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss Perte--I wouldn't marry q M.
unless l could look up to him M,aa
Oldgyrle-oh, well, Mile, you're yonns
yet.-Summerville Journal
Jackson-I hear your baby was t,a
mapped. Currie-Yes. The kjdnanor,
have offered us $4,000 if we will tota
him back, but we are holding OUT f.,
more.-Life.
She-You don't think a girl is vic.
to marry man in order to reform him,
He-Well | think she is apt to have
the luck of the average reformer-
Brooklyn Life.
City Boarder-Tell me, did Won eve,
buy gold brick, Uncle Josh? Uncle
Ceehaw (of Hay Corners, disgustedlv,
Nav. But I hev bought lots of bricks
thought was gold Brooklyn Eagle.
Yes, Mrs. Bouncer wanted to send
her daughter to Bryn Mawr, but she de-
cided on Vassar." what Influenced
her decision" "She couldn't pronounce
Bryn Observation-Disclosures Bulletin.
Parson Jackson-In de mattah oh
watahmelons, | s'pose you b'liebe
stolen fruits am always sweetest? Sam
Johnson-I dunno. | amt nebah eat
any but de one kind.-Philadelph
Press.
McCOurt-You know something about
horse racing. What is meant by 'the
favorite? Sport-A favorite is a horse
that would surely win if people only
wouldn't bet on him. Philadelphia
Record.
Teacher-What is an island? Bright
Boy (who had been reading the news
papers since Dewey sailed into Manila
Bay)-An island is a body of land en-
tirely surrounded by the United States
New York Times.
Miss Slappem-That Clara Wilder is
as good AS circus. Think of her be-
ing engaged three times this SUMMER
Mr., Goodheart -(extenuatiHgly)-W
she wouldn't be an up-to-date circus
without three rings!-Judge.
Mr.. Frontpew-I am glad you belong
to our church choir, my dear; 1t is such
an orderly organization; never see you
whispering to one another during SER
vices Mrs. Frontpew-No, none of us
are on speaking terms.-Ohio State
Journal.
Mr.. Pltt-These quarrels about the
battle Of Santiago make me excessively
weary. Mr.. Penn-Me. too. Pretty
soon Spain will get it into her head that
she wasn't licked at all, and then she
will demand repossesson of Cuba
Philadelphia Press.
She (petulantly)-I don't see why you
should hesitate to get married on f600
year. Papa says my gowns never
cost more than that He-But, my dar-
ling, we must have something to eat.
"Oh, William. Always thinking of
your stomach!'-Tit-B Bits.
The time for reflections: "Biddy," Pat
began, timidly. Ibid We liver think av
marrying" Sure now, tn subject has
niver inferred me thoughts" demurely
replied Biddy. Its sorry Oh am" said
Pat, turning away IVAN minute, Pat"
called Biddy, softly, we've set me a.
thinkin'." -BaZar.
Economy in the East: Briggs must
be getting queer in his top story"
What's the proof?" HE had his bare
head out of his Office window at noon
yesterday, and when asked him what
he was doing, he said he couldn't afford
regular hair cut and was trying
singe."- Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Stranger-Didn't | understand you to
say you'u just come from the Buffalo
Chance acquaintance-Pooh Its
poor little paltry two-penny -half-penny
affair. Don't begin to compare with
Stranger-lndeed. By the way, how
are things in Chicago now?-Puck.
Transparent excuses: Now, don't
tell me any story about misfortune an
wantin' to be hard worker, n all
that" said the hard-faced lady; i
can see right through you" Gee"
said Dismal Dawson; II know l amt
had nothin to eat for three days, but l
didn't know it had thinned me down
like that.-Leslie's Weekly.
Circun st q ntial aNidanna. Pana--