The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-08-25

A certain Business Slave was boning Ike
a Turk so that his Wife could wear three
Rings on every Finger. Also he wanted TO
nut aside something for "A Rainy Day. And
he put ii aside as If expecting another
Deluge.
He always said that he was going to Re
tire when ne had Enough. When he was
twenty years old he hoped TO amass &c.
900. At thirty he saw that he would not be
able TO peg along on less than 100000.
When he was forty he realized that a Maj
that didn't have a Million was little better
than a Tramp. At fifty he wanted TO make
the Elkins-Widener Syndicate look Ike a
band Of Paupers.
At sixty he still promised himself that
he would retire. Just as soon as he had
cabbaged everything Getatable then he was.
going to lie back in an Invalid Chair and
read the 1900 Books he had collected. but
he had not found time to cut the Leaves.
In order to get ready for his Lay-On he
built a Home in the Country. He told the
Architect to throw himself on something
compared with which Windsor Castle
would be a Woodman's Hut. He decided
on a Deer Park. a Poultry Farm and An
cestral oaks so as to have something An
c~estral.
He put UP a Shack that reminded one
Of the State Capitol at Springfield. 1t was
big enough for a Soldiers Home. The
Family consisted of himself and his Wife.
and the Architect allowed them - Bath
Rooms apiece.
The Rugs and Tapestries cost H.75 a
Thread. Every Painting was fresh from
the Salon and had the Cost Mark attached
to show that it was Good Goods.
When the Place was completed he handed
the Business over 10 the Junior Partners
and went out to Rest. He turned on all
the Fountains and ordered the Birds TO
strike up. The Dream of his Life had
come True. He had no Cares. no Response
bilities. All he had to do was sit there
and watch the Grass grow.
He enjoyed it for nearly % minutes and
then he began to Fidget. so he went and
sat in the Marie Antoinette Room for Il
while and counted the Stripes in the Fres-
co. Afterward he took a Turn about the
| Grounds and came back and wondered If
| everything was running along all right
at the Office.
Gee, but this is Tame" said the Retired
Hustler. II think I'd better take a little
| Run into Town to be sure hat the Under
Strappers are not making a Botch Of it."
At IL o'clock he was back at the Old
Stand lowering about like an Uneasy
| Spirit. He looked over the Correspondence
and dictated a few Letters and got the
Noise in his Ears and he began to feel
Good again.
His Associates told him to clear out and
play with the Deer and the Prize Chick
ems.
ST nave been Associating with them al
Morning. was the Reply. "They did moi
seem disposed to close any Contracts, sc
their Society palled on me. Besides. / have
been looking around and see that you
can't get along without me. Furthermore
It is all Tommy-Rot for a man of 6S and
just entering the Prime of Life to talk OF
Retiring"
When the Reaper finally came the ole
Gentleman was found in the Tread-Mill
but he was still counting on making use
of the Country Place next Year or possibly
the Year after.
Moral-One cannot Rest except after
steady Practice.
THE MODERN FABLE OF II PLUNG.
Err WHO PULLED OUT JUST
IN TIME.
Once there was a Man who began max
ing Mind Bets on the Stock Market.
He would buy 1000 imaginary Shares o.
a certain Stock and hold it for a Raise.
When Quotations were sky-high III
would close out and figure what hi.
Real Money.