West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-09-05
UNCLE JOE AGAIN.
Another spicy and Entertaining Letter
From one or our Best Contributors.

commence a wTitin TO you onct
more. haint wrote fer somethin
like TWO month but you'll have to
excuse me. When a teller works
hard all day in the harvest field,
as I've ben a doin', he don't feel
like writin when night comes.
They's ben right smart a goin on
sence l wrote last but | reckon most
of it's got stale so I'll just pick out
the mos important bits of it. The
many friends of our enterprisin
mayor II be panied to learn that
his pet duck, Marthy Ann, has gone
hence. Marthy Ann was very
KNOWN fowl. Let us all intend our
sympathy to the bereaved.
Were got bran, splinter new
store in town. It's bein KEEP by
Mr.. Benz Benson, Esq. OF
cou'se some of "big guns" ID have
to stick in Their bills an low it'd
not amount to nothin. I'm bound
to say the young Teller keeps nice,
fresh stuff an up to date, an keeps
'er in order, too, an people buys
of i'm so far. Mebby If the "big
guns" keeps on BLOWN Their horns
Long enough they'll make
what they say come true. You
CANT mos alus gen'ally tell;
Mebby little Johnny's gone to -.
Jes' now Benny" has biles on his
hans. | low eff he'd go to an hon
est Miller an git dust off of his
jacket it'd cure EN-.
They ust to be a color called
Cyrano two or three years ago.
Nobody ever toP me butt reckoned
it was named that because 1t was
the color of OF Cyrano De Berger
ac's nose. low we Brandonvil-
lians can beat that. Anyhow our
new color's prettier eff the name
haint. We've started a new color
called Waddyhue. It's the color OF
Professor Charley Waddell's whis-
kers. The girls has all ben ex-
perimentin with madden an one
kind o. dye an another but it's aw-
full hard to git jes' the right shade
o. red.
We've got some new industries
started. low Dick Benson's bee
bizness has Knocked the stuffin out
o. boss tradin fer doin a rushin
trade. Dicks been readin the
Bee Attitudes till he knows Their
ways so well he en- smell 'em al
long range, track 'em up an ketch
'em afore they en- whet Their stin-
gers to fight.
Another industry that threatens
to be mighty flourishin is the mitt
fact'ry. All women folks needs
nice fancy shaped leather mitts to
work in an the sale is boun to be q
CROWN all the time. You en- git a
pair easy. They're on sale at all
the stores. They say the price is
low, only 25cts. or a nice, red.
headed pullel.
The kids is a beginnin to git right
uneasy about who'll do the lickin
in our school this year. Their oil
teachers a goin away to teach al
Sistersville. low this'd be a
mighty decent place fer a nice
young Teller er girl. Mandy says
her chum lows it's as interestin a
school as there is anywheres. She
has an idey there's several presi-
dents an gen'rals among the kids.
Besides, there's lots o. nice BOYS
aroun here thatd come handy ef a
pretty girl got the school an eff a
Teller gifts it they's a possibility of
him a gittin rich widow er a fine
OF maid.
ben purity busy fer awhile an
sort o. neglected my loafin an one
night one Teller on Birthstone Cor
ner asst where / wuz. Another fell.
Ter made answer at he didn't know
where l wuz but he hoped the devil
had me. We'll, now, didn't git
mad at all. jes' laughed. How
somever I don't calclate at the OF
scratch u bust his galluses a tryin'
to git me S long as they's Others at
suits him so much better.
Kernel Broomsedge was amongst
Us lately looking as pert an fetchin
as a young Bob1ink. lie wuz a
chirpin his little lay too, had his
new book, "Winnin' er Loosin'. "
an was a wantin a Teller 10 buy.
] Tow il ~ be right nice book an
/ reckon III not go back on my
friendship with the kernel, if fer
nothin else but cause he didn't git
mad when ] blowed about his girl
down here. ] low she's mighty
proud Of the kernel an I'd toll
who she is but she asst me not TO,
an looked so consumed sweet a