The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-06-26
FINP CLARK STORIES
..,ored In and About the
Halls of Congress.

.,.r squeIched moSS0ae
O'e' ~ a NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Al
p'''" I.IIs of a Man Who Tried to
s In wiek.d-Master OF His Own
Gro" Reed Gets In on Springer.
Fine Record
downright, 1901, by Champ Clark
g. nredecessor of so years ago, Colo
~ n q Patterson Dyer now of st.
- os in Washington last year and
0p''' oror to the house to see what he
M coo. He is a great cloakroom fa-
p. .,ta and. though &C years old, is a3
~. 90 . big schoolboy and looks very
" lilo one. He has the unusual pc
w. pa,itv of taking a dry smoke several
mas a day. e., of chewing a cigar
Etbout lighting it,
y.r's Faro Story.
over entered the cloakroom some
,,s,ssinpi congressman was indulg-
IN "reminiscences of the great gam
linz times there used to be on the
hating palaces" of the lower Missls-
nni before the war.
Over said: "Out in Pike county
.bora I lived for years and where
I n.mn Clark now lives, there was
Nv bright, witty fellow named sgd
law He was an incorrigible game
Tor One night he bucked at a faro
aok in st. Louis till broad daylight
ID lost his last copper. About sun Up
y was leaning lazily against a lamp
Dost looking, as old Zach Jamison was
ror+ to say, as forlorn as donkey in
snovstorm. An acquaintance came
along and remarked:
. Fine morning, sgd. What makes
von appear so grumpy? Sick?
aNo,' answered Sgd; 4 am mad be-
ceusa am a BANKED rascal and have
'|notbng to show for It, which," con-
tnued Dyer, rs almost always the
nav 2 man feels when he has lost at
boards. For several days thereafter he
usually carries around with him a con-
rite heart, but his contrition generally
dsanDears when he holds a good hand
in big jack pot.
This same sgd Shaw" Dyer went
on like YOrick, was a fellow OF
infinite lest He'd joke about any
thing under the sun and with any liv-
Ing human being. He didn't even
spare his wife in this regard. One
night she walked him up and whispered
In bis ear:
"Syd, Ihear a burglar in the house.
Il Get up and run him out
4 "Oh no. replied sgd. Let him
alone and If he finds anything in this
house worth having 1 will get up and
] take it away from him Whereupon
he turned over and went to sleep
! again"
Dyers Retort.
Colonel Dyer broke into congress in
The days of reconstruction. His Dem
OFatic opponent received several thou
sand majority, but it did him no good,
as Dyer got the commission and the
seat. But so endearing are Dyer's
manners that even Democrats never
held it against him, and he has always
been and is today one Of the most pop
ular men in the state. When he was
running for congress the second time,
IN a stump speech one day he was fay
Ing the hides off the Democrats in the
most approved style when an old moss
pack interrupted him by saying:
You dry up. You were never elect
ed in the first place"
Dyer stopped, looked at him in a
qulzzical sort of way and replied:
any fool can serve in congress if he
Is elected, but it takes a devilish smart
man to serve there who was never
elected." which retort was received
WIN a roar of laughter and thunders
OI applause; but nevertheless and not
outstanding the irrepressible colonel
s'dld at home that time.
oyer's Mother-in.Iaw Story.
Inc subject of mothers-in-law came
up when Colonel Dyer told this tale,
|snich' l think, is entirely new, to illus
ua'e' as he said, how a Pike county
uda proves himself equal to every &C.
scasion:
one day young Pike countian re-
.s'eu telegram which ran in this
SNe; Your mother-in-law is dead.
su1li we embalm, cremate or bury
iue Young man. determined to make
A aE answered, 'Embalm, cremate and
'nn Aliens Story.
v tvul Allen of Mississippi Chimed in
n ulS; I'm Tupelo there was well
ro,s :" Young married man who was
cba. pous and assiduous in the dis
II hse OF his religious duties. Sudden
,oo., ceased his endeavors in that d.
sn l1on' His wife was much troubled
'au ,, SAID to her pastor:
mir nat 90 you suppose is the matter
-" my husband? He has cult going
- -