davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-09-07

Hoax-Poor Sandy MACPHERSON died
of grief. H.. i. 5. III.
Joax-Why, I thought he took car
bolic acid. 81. VII z$..F ssyy59 III IS, s5 w..
Hoax SO he did, but he thought it
was Scotch whiskey.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-09-07

''What nice things you said about
that man in his obituary notice. Don't
suppose you'd say such nice things of
me?" said the citizen
ooh, yes, would, with pleasure" re-
piled the police newspaper man.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-09-07

'Bigbrain expects to get fortune out
Of his new Incubator"
I "Any great Improvement 20
eyes; it has a monograph attachment
that says: sCluck -cluck. 7"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-09-07

Incredulity robs us Of many pleasures,
and gives us nothing in return. r.
Lowell.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

The ceremony Of investiture is an ex.
cee,1ingly quaint one. In most cases
the order followed was identical; there
fore that Of knight commander of
THE Order Of the Bath may be taken as
typical. On being admitted into the
royal presence the knight commander
ITO be invested made reverence to the
Alng by bowing three times-once on
catering the throneroom. another in
fhe middle and again on approa ching
-his majesty. ethen knelt on his right
'knee. In comforting the honor Of
knighthooL the king placed a sword on
both the candidates shoulders. The
knight. for by that time he had become
such, raised his right arm horizontally,
land his majesty placed his hand on the
knights wrist, who then raised it to his
lips. While the knight still remained
'kneeltng the king proceeded to his in
vestiture by iplacing the ribbon and
badge OF the order round his neck and
:afterward presented his hand to the
knight, who kissed it. The ceremony
Fbeing concluded. the knight would rise
and. retiring. make similar reverence
ms that with which he was admitted
London News.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
why Monarchs Were Insane,

Pathologists have often pointed out
the fact that physical and mental en-
ervation are apt to go hand in hand,
and the intellectual degeneracy of ETH
Quette monarchs may have good deal
to do with the Sybaritism Of their pal
ace life
The plebeian functions which media.-
val soverelgns We're obliged to perform
by proxy included the adjustment Of
their gala gloves. They had flunkies
to remove their cravats and warm their
niglitshirts, unplait their pigtails and
tuck up their <edclothes around their
shoulders. In the morning courtlers
competed for the honor Of holding
their washbasin. Peers of the realm
waited on Bonded knees to buckle their
shoes. If the inhcritor of legitimate
throne lifted spoon to brrak an egg
lynx eyed lackeys anticipated his needs
with the agility of trained conjurers.
Like his food. his information on cur
rent topics was served ready dressed
and cooked, till he turned into masti.
eating machine and repeater of con-
ventional neutrality-suspicious..
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
Saved Each @fhee.

A short time ago Il guard 'GE one ct
tue Northern expresses while at a big
station in the midlands had been talk.
ing to the engine driver. Presently he
stepped aside and gave his Right
away" when gentleman who was
late sprang on to the footb0ard while
the train was in motion and tried to
obtain admission to one of the compart.
ments.
As the carriage came along the guard
seized him by the coat and pulled him
of, remarking that he must think him
sell lucky, for he had practically saved
his life.
AS this conversation was going on
the guards van came by, and the
guard, with that gracefulness acquired
By constant practice, sailed ma jestical-
~ on to his van.
The gentleman, who had taken in the
thereupoH seized him by the
coat and pulled him OF, saying as the
train sped away:
lone good turn deserves another
You saved my life; I have saved yours.
Now we are quits. Telegraph.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
MEXlCO'S WHITE INDIANS.
Peace Loving Munchies Live Just
Over the Line From Arizona.

Peace Loving Munchies Live Just
Over the Line From Arizona.
So accustomed are we to associating
Indians with dark complexion that the
words white Indians seem almost
like d contradiction in terms.
Nevertheless in the valley of the ST.
ezra de los Nimbros, a chain Of the
Rocky mountains, K. X. Montmorency,
an English anthologist, has discovered
4 tribe Of Indians whose skins are ii
anything trifie fairer than those of
Europeans and whose forms are equal
ly graceful.
The only title of the Munchies to the
name of Indians is the fact that they
nre aborigines. Their home Is near the
United States boundary. just south Of
Arizona, in the Mexican province Of
Sonora.
The tribe comprises about 600 men
and women. The part of the country in
which they dwell is surrounded by
lofty mountains, being we'll watered
and very fertile, although not very
large.
They engage mostly in agricultural
pursuits, raising sufficient cattle, horses
and sheep to answer their own needs,
and they enjoy many Of the comforts
and luXuries Of civilized life.
The government Of these white In
dams is after the patriarchal order, the
old men of the tribe exercising supreme
control both in the enactment and in
the enforcement of the laws The laws
are made by concurrent majority Of
the seniors in council, all the males
over II being allowed to vote, and are
of very simple chara cter.
The seniors in like manner act both
as Judges and jury. first finding the
verdict and then prescribing the pun
ishment.
In religion and morals they differ but
little from other Indians, although the
love Of war does not exist among this
tribe. In fact, so averse are they to
bloodshed that they submit to the hos
tile incursions Of surrounding nations
without Offering the slightest resist
ance. They believe that discretion is
the best part of valor" and invariably
retreat, with their cattle, sheep, horses
and other valuables, to the mountain
Governs whenever an enemy appears.
Just how this tribe Of white Indians
originated is a problem which it Is
hard to solve, owing to the fact that
they themselves have lost all knowl-
edge of their origin and have not even
any traditions as to it.
Nevertheless the Munchies Of the
present time are Indians and what is
more probably bear the proud distinc-
ton of being the only tribe of white
Indians on the face Of the globe.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
MISUNDERSTANDING Rse.,
er r. r. Time Table

Corrected to June "a, 1901 1fa.s.g
leave Barre as follows, going aas..
1870 A. M-Connects at Wells RI
er with Accommodation train nors..
and south over PasSumpsic Dir. q. &
M. r r. for st. Johnshury, Nswroc
and Viii e River J;t,, with As,lv
mediation train north over Wh.t. as.
Div. B & M. R. R. for Lisbon. Eas
Teton, Lancaster, Fay ans. Betsx
hem and Profile House. Th-uaa
l. In service from Wells River VIA
Plymouth or White River junction q
Boston. Arrive Boston 4 As o.
With New York express Via Below
Falls. Springfield, Hartford and New
Haven, arriving Grand Ceut1al d
pot, New York, ITO p. m. "Throuef
coaches and parlor cars Wells River 4
New York.
IL 45 P. M.-Through Expreer
with Pullman parlor car, Burlipgou.'
to Fay bans. Steps at all prtnciw
stations between Wells River and Exs.
bans, arriving at Faybans 800 .. r.,
Connects at FaybanS with train ac
Portland and Old Orchard Besnh,
With train for Summit mt. Washing
ton, arriving Summit S 30 ? m. Go
meets at Wells River with mail trar
north over the Passumpsic Div, az
Western Express via Canadian pass9s
Ry for Montreal, QQeoec Chicago EA
the Pacific Coast. Tbrt ugh siselskx
cars Montreal to Chicago every aa
except Saturdays To Pacific C,cxuR
every day except Sundays. With Bee
ton express, has parlor car. arrirayy
in B ston at 90 p N. With tsAi1
for Lancaster Whtetield, JeGe.sn,
Berlin. GrUverlon and Grand yrurB
r II.
3, ID P. M.-Connecos at Vel
River with Express train north WE.
B. & NJ. R. 4. for St. Johnsbury, Z,Eu~
donville, Barton and Newport, xsgs
Accommodation train south fa u.
stations between Wells River ssE.
White River Jet. With Express tsdas
north over White Mt. Div. fol Lishxas-
Littleton, Bethlehem Street; Emak.
H'u>e, Twin Mountain, Fayhau
White6ed, Jefferson and Lancaster.
TRAINS WEST
Trains leave Wells River at 5.n.
10 80 a, M, 2 IS, $50, p. m.
Arrive Barre 1905, A NJ, 12.M
$40 p M.
SUBURBAN TRAIN SERVICE
Leave Montpelier 80, 9.45, LIE
A. NJ. 2. 30, 81 IS, 5.25 P. NJ.
Arrive Barre $50, Jos l.. r..
1910, 2 SO. 4.l0, S 40P. N.
Leave Barre 100, 10 20 4. T..
12.45, 3 Is, AIS, 5.45 P. M.
Arrive M ntpelier 7.45. 1O.35Ax
Loo, 3 80. 4.35, 6 0OP. NJ.
W. A. STOwELL, General Mauaax.
F. w. STANYAN, Superintend e..
F.. ". MORSE, Gen \ Pass. ,Assu1.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
Only Forty WhnlcrS Left.

According to the annual review nj the
whaling industry as prepared by The
Whalemen's Shipping List. the past
year was not n satisfactory one. While
the sperm whale feet did we'll, the
right whale fleet met with only fair
success. There We're two disasters to
the fleet during the year, the bark
Alaska Of San Francisco lost at Cape
Nome and the brig Rosa Baker of New
London lost at Fort Stanley, Falkland
islands.
The present feet is made up Of 10
vessels. On Jan. New Bedford had II
ships and harks and schooners. a to-
tai tonnage of 4.250; Provincetown had
4 schoners uf 43S tons. Boston one
bark Of $50 tons and San Francisco IL
square Triggers and schooner of 1873
tons.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
Pretty Far on.

A summer resident in a New Hamp
shire village, lady who. in Horace
Walpole's phrase, "sits at the top OF
the world" was making her first
friendly call Of the season upon the
family Of an old widower.
Only the father was at home, one of
the girls being absent on visit to the
other sister, who had been married
during the past winter. Naturally the
talk turned on the daughters.
YES" said the father; "Mary made
out real well. But l don knows I'll
ever work Lizabeth Off. There's a
young man been comm here steady
now for two year, an he's no further
on vet, ma'am, than me an you."-
Youths Companion.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

Whatever other fate might befall It.
naturalists agree that the common
house fly cannot be drowned and many
experiments have been made in rela-
ton thereto.
Included in such tests was the I'm
mersion Of fly in a tumbler of clear
cold water, with piece of cardboard
\to fit the glass and floated so as to
keep the insect beneath the surface.
So little did the fly trouble about
such an obstacle that it kept near the
bottom of the glass, and there for 4
quarter of an hour ran about as freely
as In the fresh air, while it at times
crawled across the underside of the
pastebOard as Oh the ceiling of room.
After being immersed for 90 minutes
the hy's movements were less active,
and at % minutes it turned over Oh it's
side, apparently dead. 1t hung sus-
pended in the water just under the
pasteboard, which kept it from rising
to the surface, and there it remained
for another % minutes.
1t was then taken out and placed on
a sheet Of paper, looking to all appear
ance dead. Its next fate was to be
buried by being covered with about
half teaspoonful of fine salt.
At the end of Il minutes the saline
was shaken off, the fly having thus
been completely covered either by
water or by salt for Go minutes.
Immediately upon its release the in
sect trimmed its wings and legs active
ly for awhile and then flew away
Parsons Weekly.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
PERFuMED CIGARS.


The Ones General ROsecrans Once
offered to n Friend.
One of the stories told by old en-
ployees in the treasury department at
Washington is Of the time when Gen.
eral Rosecrans was register. The gen
eral never smoked and knew nothing
about cigars. He determined, however,
to have box of good cigars handy for
| the benefit Of friends who might drop
into the registers Office. The general
accordingly purchased box of expen-
forgot all about item for some time.
Then, one day, when friend was call
ing, the general remembered the cigars
and brought them out
~ know nothing about CIGARS" said
Rosecrans, but am told that these
are very fine"
His friend lighted cigar, and n look
OF pain and horror instantly overspread
his face. He tried to conceal his feel
ings and putfed manfully at the cigar
for several seconds. Then Rosecrans,
noticing that he was growing pale, ask
ed what was the trouble.
General" said the visitor. 81 don't
want to be Nlgrateful, but I'm afraid
It's this cigar"
Impossible" exclaimed Rosecrans
"Why, when l bought them was told
that they were the finest cigars on the
market"
"Well, general, you were deceived.
The cigar tastes and smells exactly as
If 1t were made Of camphor."
"Camphor"' stammered Rosecrans,
looking chapfallen. "Why, never
thought, hut perhaps camphor does in
jure cigar" And, reaching into the
drawer, he brought to view several gar
ments filled with camphor balls. DO
you suppose that can he the troubleY
he inquired.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

The wife of a German farmland In
Ohio was taken sick and finally died
the husband, Of course, leaving his
work for several days in consequence.
Two weeks later he appeared at the
house Of his employer and asked to be
relieved from work for couple of
days, when the following conversation
took place:
Il would like to get off for apout two
tays-"
II can't spare you unless 1t lis .abso.
lutely necessary. You know YOU lost
several days two weeks ago, and we
are behind in the work. What is the
necessity for your getting cff?" inauir-
ed the farmer
Vel, vas to be married.
"Why, Fritz, your wife died only two
weeks ago, and now you are about TO
get married again? l do not under
stand that"
"Vell,'' replied the German, II don't
ho:d spite long,"
The farmer dismissed the case with
out prejudice.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
8 90 Re wad, 8 90.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased
disease that science has been able to cure
in all its stages and that Is Catarrh.
Hal s Catarrh Cure Is the only positive
cure now known to the medical frat rnitv.
Catarrh being con titutional disease,
requires constitutional treatment
Halls Catarrh Cure is TAKEN internally
acting directly uron the blood and muc GUS
log the foundation of the disease. and
giving the patient strength by building
up the consMtut on and assisting nature
In doing it's work. The proplietors have,
so much faitlh,in its curative powers
that they offer one Hundred Dollars for
any case that it'fails to cure. Send for
list OF testimonials.
Address, r. j. CHENEY 4 CO.. Toledo, O
Sold BY all druggists. 80 WI, IA.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

Sir Hen'y Irving has one popularity
rthat only those who are brought into
closest relations with him recognize.
Ishis Is in regard to the number of spec
tacles and glasses of various sorts that
he always has on Land, both at the
theater and at home. At the theater he
has quite two dozen pairs Of one kind
and another. and no employee about
the place ever dreams of removing
them, for when Sir Henry is busy with
some production he Is pcrpetually los.
Ing his spectacles, and as he is far more
dependent on these than most people
know he flies to the nearest point
where he Is sure he may find a pair.
He Is constantly buying new pairs Of
glasses. and he pleads guilty to having
GO pairs either Mt the theater or at
home.-Ledger Monthly.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
Central Vermont r.
Time Table
Corrected to June %, 'fg0l.
Trains leave Barre daily, ezzsr
Sunday, as follows:

corrected to June %, 'fyOl.
Trains leave Barre daily, eu,sr
Sunday, as follows:
GOING SOUTH
$40 A. m Mail for Boston via Txsxy
ell or Fitchburg; New YORK xn
Springfield and Il New England possu1r
Paror car to Boston via Lowell xa
VIII River Junction to New Yot
1901 P. Fast Express forRsr.
ton via Lowell; New York via Sp;snr..
field and via New London. b,s.ss
parl car to Boston.
$40 P. NJ -Local PASSENGER nr
Northfeld, Randolph, White Nvy,
junction and Windsor.
IL 90 p. NJ. - Night Ex,nyx
Leaves Barre week days only. rem
leaves Montpelier 1855 A. NJ, dssss
including Sundays, for Boston T.
Lowell or Fitchburg and for W.
York via Springfield. Pullman sleru..
irg cars to Boston via Lowell and a.
Springfield.
GOING NORTH
~ oooCukGT IOl fN8Sa
lington. St. Adams. Montreal ,,s
Richford. Connects at Essex Iu,u..
ton with express for all points N
Rutland Railroad.
500 P. M.-Mail for Burliupses.
Rutland, Cambridge Junction. a.
Albars, Montreal Rouses Point sasg
Og6ensburg Parlor car to Moptnya
o 10 p M.-Express for BuHkyx.
ton, st. Adams and Montreal, pss..
man sleeping car, Montpelier Juyr1.
ion to Chicago and East Swantup =
Buffalo witho It change. D BufNss
10 45 a. m. Due Chicago s 4spxs
1ext day.
Suhufban Service
Trains to Montpelier. Leave Rary
10, $50, A. NJ, 1901, 3.05. s.%
| 90 P. NJ.
Trains to Barre, Leave N9ssss.
Ter $40, Is, 10 so A. NJ, ia.s.
so and 6 20 z. NJ.
WiilIamstown TraJre
Leave Barre LEO, 400 p. NJ. Da,
1855, $50 P. rs.
Leave Williamstown 7.sO, Al
80 p NJ. Due Barre, sos A. H.
90 r. NJ.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
HaFalunea.

Science has proved that moonlight Is
morn fatal to the complexion than the
sun in his splendor. and in Paris they
are now selling little moon shades
made of a double thickness of mousse
line de sole. with light fringe. the
handles Of which fold back like those
of the marquises of our gnndmothers
time. These moon shades are now in
lispensable for all late river parties.-
Onlooker.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
Making Him Sweat,

Hardware Dealcr-What was old
Krankey kicking about?
Clerk-He wanted ten pounds Of
nails; said he'd pay for them and take
them home himself. Wouldn't trust us
to deliver them, he said.
Hardware Dealer-Surly old codger!
hope he'll sweat for 1t.
Clerk-Oh, I took care of that. I
threw In an extra ten pounds, and he
novcr k,1oVU n wv pS,Sao Sai,l.t~ 49,
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

81 wish to truthfully state to you and the
readers of these few lines that your X odol
Dyspepsia Cure is without question. the
best and only cure for dyspe psia that
have ever come in contact with and
have have used many other preparations.
preparation equals Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
as It contains all the material direstants
1t will digest all kinds of food and can't
help but do v vi good. ~"
Rickert Il Wells. Barre, Wilcox h Gillette.
Moretown. W. 3. Poole, East Barre. VI.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
How He TalkCA.

Rubtustein, after q concert tour IN
Spain. was asked: "Do you understand
Spanish?"
"No." he said.
Then you had to converse with the
Spaniards in French, suppose?"
Not every Spaniard speaks French"
"Then how in lne world did you talk
10 themF'
with the piano." said Rubnstein,
with a smile.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
OIo church lotteries.

A citizen of Williamsburg, Pa. OWES
an old lottery ticket which reads Us
follows: mo. 257 Presbyterian church
lottery. Authorized by law This ticket
will entitle the possessor to such prize
as shall be drawn to its number, if de-
handed within IL months after the
drawing. subject to 20 per cent deduc-
ton. NJ. Wilkins, president of the board
of managers. Pittsburg, June 3, 1907"
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

care You still engaged to Mr..
BriggsT"
mo; broke 1t off last week. was
afraid to marry him. He knows too
much. l gave him some ribbon to
match. He found it in the first store
he went to, and he bought 1t for cents
below the regular price,"
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
The Actor and His Salary.

"What salary are you getting, old
boy"
"You have brutal and discourteous
way Of putting 1t. will tell you the
salary am promised, but wild horses
can't drag from me the amount l am
getting" Plain Dealer.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

A littlesife may be sacrificed in an hours
delay. Cholera infantum, dysenttry,
diarrhoea come suddenly. Only safe pla n
is h We Dr. FOwlers Extract of Wild
Strawberry always on hand.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15
True Oipl0maey.

Bighead-How do you manage to be
so popular with people?
Diplomatic is quite easy. Instead
Of trying to show the people meet
how much I know. make 1t clear to
them how much they know.-Stray
Stories. -.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

What's the secrit of happy, Vigorous
health?. Simply keeping the bowels, the
stomach, the liver and kidneys strong and
active Burdock Blood Bitters does 1t.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-07-15

It's usually when a man speaks with.
out thinking that he says what he
Observation-Disclosures Record.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1901-09-13

Per 5. 5. Nippon Maru. september 10
for San Francisco.-PrOf BashfOrd
Dean and wife. Cant. Peron.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1901-09-13
Between Mems and
Boys Clothing.

We make no difference in tiis case
and furnish all attention to detail
There is no sweat-shop work on any
Of our suits. Is not this worth the
thoughtfui- consideration of mothers2
Isn't it worth paying a trifle more to
have your boys suit made in a proper
manner. If the wife were consulted,
wouldn't she insist that the husband
avoid wearin sweat-shop clothing?
We have just received p new line of
STAR WAISTS, with and without col
lars. Just the thing for the school sea-
son.
Also a fine line Of EXTRA PANTS
FOR MEN AND BOYS.
Extraordinary efforts have been made
by us to find and prepare the things
needful for your good appearance and
comfort-the very best SUITS FOR
MEN AND BOYS; SHIRTS, HATS,
OUTING FLANNELS, ETC.
All these are worthy of your atten-
ton, being fashionable in cut and styl-
ish in appearance.
Our TWO BIG STORES and theii
service are at your comma d.
No orders too great for prompt atten-
ton; none too small for the strictest
care.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1901-09-13
REINDEER FOR ALASKA.

The Secretary of the Interior has re-
ceived from Lieutenant r. p. Bertholf
of the revenue cutter service a report
of purchases of reindeer made in Siberia
for shipment to Alaska during the pres
end summer. He says he has secured
$50 young does and fifty bucks all of
the large Tunguse breed, and that he
thinks a contract can be made for 800
reindeer for next summer. The deer
We're all bought in the vicinity of Orla
and they were to be shipped from that
place to Port Clarence. The distance is
1000 miles, and Lieut.. Bertholf express
ed some doubt as to the success of the
experiment. The deer purchased cost
Is roubles per head in Orla, but the adj
ditional expense of keeping, shipping,
etc, brings the total cost of the ami
mails landed in Alaska to about $50 each.