Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-05-15
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Waterman Shaking his fountain pen)
You have no idea how easily these
pens run! His Neighbor applying (
blotter to his trousers)-Oh, have IN
inkling!-Harvard Lampoon.
Frankly Explained: why did ycu
hit the complainant with .. fence
pickett" the Judge asked .DseAaN
SOFT, 81 didn't have time to pub up .
post" answered the acc1sed.-IndlAnr
apolis Press.
* AL say, old man, how 10 Hob
sol. Hgarded In the navy? M9rse0
Well, I'll tell you; the navy looks %
him as a man who made his reputatco
on collier and lost 1t on smack
Town Topics.
I'VE cannot consider your story sert.
ously," wrote an editor to an author;
"you have killed your hero In the mid.
die of It." To which the author re-
piled: II killed him because he made
me tired.'-Current Literature.
Bullying His Wife: Jones-Dear mel
AVu soy Sou VAteu Ady uoWu tue toW w
your wire; now do you go about III
nones.Wny, an you need is n,rmnees;
I usually go into my study lock To
door, and do 1t through the keyhole.--
it-Bits.
Not to be Expected: shopman-This
matches your simple perfectly, mad
am. Customer-It certainly does; ie
couidnt be closer. shoppan-hoW
many yards DO you wishf Oustomef
-oh! not any yet; you see. this 10 tine
very nrst snop I've tried!
Mrs. Ondego (making call)-l am
sorry to hear you are having trouble
with your cook. Mrs. Upjohn-Yes; !
shall have to let Serena 60; didns
mand her practicing on the plano now
and then, but she wants to JOIN QUE
golr ciup!-Chicago tribune.
In the great corridor of obscurity two
men faced each other. "Givo mo the
wall" said one; II, sir, was once Vice
President" The other laughed de-
risive laugh. "Nonsense!" he exclaim-
ed; Il take precedence here. I am the
husband of an authoress."-Life.
Teacher-Jimmy, IL you found ei9ht-
cen pennies and another boy should
take two-thirds of them away, what
would each of you have? Jimmy-rd
have six pennies, and he'd have good
thumpin less he'd handed back the
rest Of 'em mighty quick.-Tit-Bits.
Strategy: Elder sister-Mr. Birlmcrs
said you were in the parlor a long tims
last night, but don't suppose you used
much gas. Younger Sister-The reason
you didn't see any burning. Emily, was
because Harold carelessly hung his hat
on the door knob Chicago Tribune.
Knew His Boy: Benson-Ilook here,
that boy Of yours threw stone at me
Just now, and barely missed me! Proud
Father-You say he missed you? Ben.
son (angrily)-You heard what said,
didn't you? Proud Father-Then It
couldn't have been my boy. Bits.
Mamma-What makes you so sickl
hope you haven't been chewing tobac-
co. Tommy-O- boo-hoo! No, masam.
Mamma-I'm glad to hear that, but
what Tommy-I was goin' to chew
It, but-boo hoo--I seen you comm an
L swallowed 1t whole.-Philadelphi
Record.
. kind ~ Rese. Nthel--Afamma ,toid
~ could "a < ths ,srIor ,last riSi,1
r,h,Ia Nv Huc "a mn. !. ,ltncs; ~, "a.
tor Rose E,siayl Ma she, Eth.s-y...
and ~ wos groiit srn vs. r,sve6
. ahlina.man.s HIM . and thav LOT ~, "a
tba Mind man noorlv ali fha lima
.non,t ron think the renuh,,c I. q
d.naor,. as,, I'D ona no,,tIn,.n .ne
onmrsa - ;s y answered tho other. ~
- masn,t ~ danaar how could -.
sto tasnan ooma ard oro-v alect,o,,
anasara,tS and wa,ra conc 10 taer
| an com,no forward and sey,np n nntiI
/ tho and If time .NWash,npton star
,,... 1,s 4..S.
~ 90 We rom ora tho poorest schn,sr q
ronr o,ass Ton,mt SThofs nSth,n,
r is only hecansa don't answer aiI
~. ,nast est s,,a -asS,rr a,or, Asv
- ~ ,sn,t ,,,,sa - to,i,oII ron know to I
,,oman ovar - she dnas bonnar ~ ~
q snhoo, taachar NIaoston ira nscrint
81 ~, nn inaaa. III hin, VIII, /.
n,o,,o, I sna .oh S fron, sanna ans !.
rnrled IN lilo = sict coterniliar !,
.wta. ,,pa ha dana mot tamnted -,
- oon,m,t th;s oss.nitss aIrdoa y
80 ...,,,. - em,,ss ~. - ~ hn-
r,, n 1ohn s - poctefe,ler.s ,ncoma m,
~ ,,,n Y an,saharaed .MCIars,snI
~. = =
run De' 4
fifet Lady rassehees'-lI INA. WIZ
dow isn't opened inns mlnute Know
shaii dle. seconu ait.o-Mho openes
die, I'm sure. fhilosopnlcal aenue
{ man-Conductor, please Keep tnat WIN