Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1901-01-26

"SHE BUST INTO TEARS"
ed the public 100000 pounds Of soaI
III the last year, and the family clocl
might have stopped without his taking
notice of it. When about 30 sobs an
sighs and groans lad failed to arouse
him. Mrs Gallup sat up and said:
Samuel. you know l went over tC
see Mrs. Taylor. As she has lever
children and is alluS willin TO lend mt
her flatirOns. l thought it only right tC
tell her that the whole leven might be
taken down with chicken poX any min
it. l hadn't hardly got MY mouth open
before she bust into tears and put heI
arm around me. She wasn't cryin on
account of the chicken poX. but on my
account. l had bad news for her, but
she had Bladder for me- Don't you
want to know what it WasT
Mr.. Gallup didn't. He was reading
a testimonial from the wife Of a gov
ernOr that the Virgins washer had
brought JOY to her household when ev-
erything else had failed, and he was
NGUl ~ lllC OulSlQt " Vi III ~ >. Oetllt4
waited a reasonable time for a reply
and then said:
THE news she had to tell me.
Samuel, was that I had but three days
TO live. If hadn't gone over there She
would have come over here, as she
thought | ought to be maxim ready.
That's Mrs. Taylor all over. She's allus
dom sunthin for other folks. You must
remember when Saray Ann SpOOner
died? And you remember when Uncle
Goodrich was hooked to death by a
COW? WAL Mrs. Taylor had warnin
three days ahead that both Of 'em was
gOin to perish. Her clock suddenly
stopped with a whir-r-r-r, and both
hands p'inted in a certain direction. AT
3 o'clock this afternoon the clock stop
ped ag'in and the hands p'inted right
toward our house. That meant me.
In three days from now I'll be sailin
around among the clouds"
Mr. Gallup didn't dispute it. He was
reading that the Virgins washer
would do the work of ten women at
the washboard, and he was giving the
inventor credit for being a bigger man
than p. T. Barnum or Dan Rice.
Pm glad it's come. Samuel" con-
tinued Mrs. Gallup in more cheerful
tones. you know I hey bin eXpectn
to die any mint for the last %
years, and it has kinder kept me up
sot You'll be glad, too, because you
don't like the smell of camphor and
mustard plasters around. You may
feel little lonesome for two or three
days after I'm gone, but with playin
checkers. gOin tO the debatin society
and lookin around for a second wife
you'll soon chirk up and cit your appe-
lite back. I amt gOin to ask you who
you shall take for your second WIFE
but before l 90 l want to talk with
you about tie house. VIII you talk
with me, SamuelY
Mr.. Gallup refused TO commit him
self. That Virgins washer was being
sold for $40 when other and inferior
machines We're fOistod on the public at
SO. and he was saying to himself that
Virgins ought to have the gratitude Of
the nation. Mrs. Gallup shed seven or
eight tears, caught sob between her
teeth and went on:
In the first place. the oven door to
the stove needs new hinge. 1t got
broke seven years ago. but have got
along with it so as to save expense.
Then the snout is broke off our two
quart pitcher, and the handle is off the
gallon jug. If l was gOin to stay right
along on earth, l shouldn't tell you
that we ought to hey new set Of tea
spoons or that there are three holes in
the dishpam, but I'm goin fur, far
away and your second wife won't put
up with things as hev. We are still
sleepin on the same feather bed moth
er gave me when we was married. and
the feathers ought to hev new ticllin.
If was to live on, | could make the
Old sheets do fur year more; but
as it is. ] guess you'll hey to buy at
least two. Tou ought to hey some pill
larsIilS too. DOE cellar you'll find
half barrel Of scr; soap, two jars Of |
peach pickles and six gallons Of apple |
butter. | hope your second wife will |
be as careful of 'em as l hey bin !
Many time | hev wanted Il peach |
pickle IL the middle of the afternoon |
but wouldn't 20 down arter it and be
a pig. Did tell you about the cider
vinegar, Samuel"
Mr.. Gallup was holding his breath |
over the statement that the Virgins
washer washed Il shirt for the govern
or of Arizona in 10 seconds, and of
course he didn't answer
"The cider vinegar amt no good.
Samuel. 1t didn't work, and you might
as we'll throw it away Before you
marry ag'in you ought to fix the leak
in the FOOT, cit new pump for the
well, whiteWash the kitchen and buy
q new mop handle. First wives can
git along most any way and make one
mop last for 20 years. but second wives
begin to kick right away. | amt tellm
you these things because I'm jealous,
Samuel, but because it's my duty rs q
lyin wife. | don't want you to hev to
70 huntin th2 house all over after I'm