Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-12-19

on Morris Evans" said w. j. Dyer to
me the other day in one of his talka-
tive moods. I'VE were out west one
fall few years ago making the races
with string of trotters and Morris
accompanied US. In the course of our
itinerary we came to place called
Wahoo, in Nebraska. We housed our
horses in livery stable down town
and after dinner one day as / was
coming along down to the barn from
the hotel | noticed a fellow leading a
horse back and forth IN front of the
stable and Morris was sitting on our
trunk Just in front of the office. This
trunk we cook along to carry various
things we used including a chest of
medicines, linIments, etc. | inquired
of the stranger if his horse was sick
and he said yes-thought the animal
was suffering from an attack of collie
| went over TO Morris and told him to
get out bottle of medicine in the
trunk that we used in such cases and
Morris informed me that he had al
ready given the horse a dose of it,.
This was confirmed by the owner who
stated that my boy there had short
ly before given his dumb friend treat
ment from the bottle. Just to satisfy
myself | asked Morris what he gave
the horse and he went down into the
frn nj of ho oil TO bnt Inn
agine my feelings when he brought
up bottle of leg wash we used for
external applications, and the very
strongest of rank liniments. | in
quired of Morris how large dose he
had given the animal and he told me,
and do you know it was enough to
have killed the poor brute. Morris
was pretty scared and did not wish
me to say anything about the mistake
aud so | didn't. Pretty soon the
horse recovered and was all right aud
what do you think-Morris told me
afterwards that the fellow gave him a
dollar for his professional services y
The old Wisconsin college professor
who searched all his pockets tor his
pipe, while he held it between his
teeth and then wondered where he
had left his spectacles while they sat
securely straddle of the bridge of his
nose. had held the lecord for forget
fullness so far, but now may have to
contest it with the man who, after a
jaunt day or two since, pulled off
one glove and then searched for the
other, which was still on his hand; or
the young lady who, on returning
from shopping tour among our dry
goods houses, went up TO her room,
then ran down to the sitting room
again, ''to get her pocketbook, " which
she failed to find; went up strairs with
kind of lost look on her troubled
face; ;ried to take hold of the knob of
her room door and could not because
her missing pocketbook was in her
hand, where it had been ever since she
had finished her shopping. The only
reasonable explanation of such an in
stance of forgetfulness on the part of
young lady is the plausible and quite
proper opposition that the pocket
book was so emaciated after her shop
ping tour that il was too thin to be
felt.
For clear and painful case of alb
sent mindedness just ask Chris Rob-
erts, the affable clerk at H. Weber's
shoe emporium. to tell you about
little experience he had the other
night. | haven't the time or space
this week to give the story justice.
There is one woman in most every
town that ought to have her tongue
cut out and labeled AIRS. But" She
can't say blessed thing about any
body unless she attaches derogatory
but to it. Her neighbor is a pretty
fine woman BUT she was little gay
when she was a girl. Her neigh boris
girl she likes But she hangs out after
the boys nights. One woman wears a
fine cloak BUT she has doubts of just
how she earned it. Her girls teacher
is a good one But she has a beau out
of school hours. One woman she
knows works hard BUT she is dirty in
her housekeeping. And so it goes.
Her tongue can never say all good Of
any body, man, woman or child.
hate to see such women around. They
are vile slanderers and trsducers and
injurers Of reputation by their insin-
native butts and | just wish Mrs. But
could be teetotally suppressed. Ny
idea is that if you cannot say some
thing GOOD of Nonr neigh bors then