Morris tribune., 1901-08-17
SPOILED HIS SERMON
Why ONE NAVAL OFFICER STOPPED
JAwIMa ABOUT TATTooINe.

FOE0Gp EuGt1n& CnS Aau80 OM AAAAA
mt the Same Time an Well.
'There was an officer of the line put
on the retired list the other day." said
an old time messenger at the navy de-
partment who put in many cruises as
petty officer In the United States sea
service, ''who got himself into an odd
pickle one morning by taking shower
bath.
"This officer was dne saforman to
serve under, and the men were mighty
fond Of him. But he had one kink.
That was his opposition to the practice
Of tattooing. He was first lufr or
executive. officer OF the ship at the
time I'm speaking Of, and, while he
was particularly easy on his crew, he
certainly had q habit of coming down
on 'em like q thousand Of brick for the
Attooing business. There were lot
Of men in the crew that did tattooing,
and the first luT kept an eye on them.
He didn't want any Of the new young
chaps In the service to get themselves
marked up, ana when he caught the
lads with new punches Of ink on their
persons he invariably berated them
soundly and sent the tattooers to the
mast. There was no regulation then.
as there Is now, against tattooing, and
so the executive officer couldn't punish
the tattooers, but he always lectured
them pretty soundly at that. But he
couldn't stamp out the practice. The
young fellows entering the service as
landsman weren't a little bit contented
until they'd got themselves marked up
like the old Flatfeet.
This executive officer, however, con-
sidered the practice foolish and bar
barous and idiotic, as it no doubt Is, al
though I'VE got the ink scattered over
a good deal OF my old frame. remem-
Der that while I was attached to the
ship Of which this officer was the first
luff' l went ashore at Nagasaki, ia
pan, one afternoon and came across q
Jap tattooer whose work was high
grade. had smaH vacant space
still unmarked on my left forearm, and,
being good deal younger then than
am now and bit under the sake, /
doubt not at that, / had this Jap tattoo
list needle me the American dag and
the Irish emblem intertwined on that
vacant space. Well, the next morning
was doing my stunt on deck, with
my sleeves rolled up and that raised
bit Of tattooing showing raw on my
left arm. The executive officer caught
sight Of it, and he rounded on me in-
stantly.
Well, you ought to have 30 days In
some 1ubbers' JAIL said he to me. AN
old jack like you getting himself scrap
ed up like any beach comber after all
your years in deep water! You ought
to be ashamed Of yourself!
II felt pretty sheepish, Of course, but
told him that i wouldn't ha' had it
done if it hadn't been for a bit too
much rice wine the afternoon before,
but he only snorted and walked aft.
.'Well, only two mornings after that
this kindly first luff' showed himself
up and got the terrible laugh from the
whole ships company for'ard. The Of
ficers had rugged up a shower bath on
the after deck, under which, with only
a pair Of small trunks on, they'd stand
when they got up on the hot mornings
to get cooled off. The apparatus had
only been up for a couple Of days when
on this morning that I'm speaking Of
the executive officer, who was an ex-
ceedingly absentminded man. pranced
out with his little pair of new trunks
and, turning the water on, stood under
the shower, gasping and enjoying HIM
self. twas about an hour after all
hands in the morning, and all the men
were on deck. Well, when they saw
the first Luf' stripped that way there
went up shout from that ships COM
pany that sounded like a homeward
bound roar.
For the executive officer was jnst
one mass OF fine tattooing from his
neck to his middle. 1t was all .IaEa-
nese work dragons, eagles. snakes.
dainty garden scenes and all that sort
of stuff-in all OF the Japanese tattoo
er's colors. His arms had all kinds of
adders and pythons and boa constric-
tors coiled around them, and, all In all,
| don't believe any or us in the crew
had ever seen man, for.ard or aft. so
tattooed up as that first
uf' of ours was.
when he heard the tremendous
augh, the executive officer looked up IN
and when he saw the whole
ships company doing nothing but stare
It him with >grins he turned as red as
i beet. looked down at himself and !
lustled for his room at the gallop. He !
ooked pretty sheepish and red when
lie emerged about half an hour later In |
inform, but he took It all good natur-
IDLY, and that afternoon he said to me
N the quiet:
"'You lads for'ard have got It on me |
ure enough. but had those imbecile |
hingS needed on me when I was a
'inhead Of cadet. thinking 1t was fine.
ANYHOW, It's not a case OF doing as |
10. but Of doing as sayr i
81 could only grin in reply, and Ae
norted and then grinned and went AFT.
From then on until the wind up OF |
he cruise he never said another word |
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