davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-07-17
EsAU BUCK AND THE BUCK SAW.

An old farmer Of Arkansas whose
sons had all grown up and left him,
hired young man by the name of
Esau Buck to help him on his farm.
On the evening Of the first day they
hauled up a small load Of poles for
wood and unloaded them between the
garden and the barn yard. The next
morning the old man said to the hired
man: "Esau, am going to town to-
day, and while am gone you may saw
up that wood and keep the old ram out
Of the garden. When the old man had
gone Esau went out to saw the wood;
but when he saw the saw he wouldn't
saw 1t. When Esau saw the saw he
saw that he couldn't saw it with that
saw. Esau looked around for another
saw; but that was the only saw he
saw, so he didn't saw it. When the old
man came home he says to Esau: "Esau;
did you saw the wood?" Esau said:
II saw the wood, but wouldn't saw
It; for when I saw the saw, saw that
couldn't saw with that saw, SO I
didn't saw It." The old man went out
to see the saw, and when he saw the
saw he saw that Esau couldn't saw
with that saw. When Esau saw that
the old man saw that he couldn't saw
with the saw Esau picked up the ak
and chopped up the wood and made
see-saw. The next day the old man
went to town and bought new buck
saw for Esau Buck. and when he came
home he hung the buck saw for Esau
Buck on the saw buck by the see-saw.
Just at this time Esau Buck saw the
old buck in the garden eating cabbage,
and when driving him from the garden
to the barn yard Esau Buck saw the
buck saw on the saw buck by the see
saw, and Esau stopped to examine the
new buck saw. Now when the old buck
saw Esau Buck looking at the new
buck saw on the saw buck by the see
saw, he made dive for Esau, missed
Esan, hit the seessaW. knocked the see
saw against Esau Buck, who fell on}
the saw. Now. when the old man saw
the old buck dive at Esau Buck-aad
miss Esau and hit the buck saw and
knock the see-saw against Esau and
Esau Buck fall on the buck saw on the
saw buck by the see-saw, he picked up
the axe to kill the old buck; but the
buck saw him coming, and lodged the
blow and countered on the old mans
stomach; knocked the old man over
the see-saw onto Esau Buck, who was
getting up with the buck saw on the
saw buck by the see-saw, crippled Esau
Buck, broke the buck saw and the saw
buck and the see-saw.p Now, when the
old buck saw the completeness Of his
victory over the old man and Esau
Buck and the buck saw and the saw
buck and the see-saw, he quietly
turned around, went back and jumped
into the garden again and ate up what
was left of the old mans cabbage.-St.
Louis Globe democrat.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-07-17
THESE WERE NOT JERSEYS.
A Sensational Surprise Caused by an
Alabama Dairyman.

80
Alabama Dairyman.
For the first time in the history Of
Alabama railroads COW that was not
pure blooded Jersey worth $125 has
been killed by locomotive" said Har-
ry Jenkins, Of the Mary Lee Coal and
Railroad company.
"As II to make this fact doubly ex-
traordinary, two cows have been killed,
and neither one a pure Jersey worth
SIPS; but both were just plain, honest.
everyday cows, the property Of an
honest man. The story deserves to be
printed in every newspaper and posted
in every court house.
"The other day locomotive on our
track at Mary Lee struck and killed
two niilch cows, the property OF Mr..
Glass, a dairyman who supplies Bir-
mingham customers with honest milk.
Not knowing Mr.. Glass, naturally as
sumed when the accident was reported
to me that, in accordance with the hith-
erto invariable custom, the cows were
pure -blooded Jerseys worth $125 each,
though I knew as fact that they were
Just common country cows.
"I sent for Mr.. Glass in order to come
to an agreement with him and compen-
safe him for his loss, for there was no
doubt that our locomotive killed his
COWS. He came and we had pleasant
meeting. After the interchange OF the
ordinary courtesies came to business.
"'Now, Mr.. Glass began. we have
killed your cows and we intend to pay
for them. What did you value them
at?"
"I believe the cows were worth $25
each. Mr.. Jenkins, and that is all
could ask you for-$50 for the two,
said Mr.. Glass.
why, certainly. Mr.. Glass; I re-
piled, the cows were worth that. But
you won't take 1t disrespectful If say
I expected you to name mucn larger
sum-
Certainly not; I understand how
such things are usually done.' Mr.. Glass
said, but couldn't accept more than
my cows were honestly worth to me,
and, to tell you the truth, 1t was partly
the fault of them fool cows getting in
the way Of your engine. '-Birming-
ham (Ala.) Age-Herald.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13

was magnificent, autumn flowers were
blooming, autumn tints were over the
land. The day had been unusually
warm and sunny. Lord Caraven had
invited some friends to dinner; as they
lived at some little distance, and they
could not remain for the night, din
ner was ordered earlier than usual.
It was only twilight when the guests
drove away, and Lord Caraven, having
no one to play billiards with him,
sauntered restlessly through the
rooms. thinking to himself how fool
ish he had been not to provide him
self with a companion for that most
interesting Of all games.
II must not let this happen again."
he said. ITO live here alone requires
more strength Of mind than am pos
sessed off,
It did not occur to him that he was
not alone that he had fair young
wife near him. He never thought Of
her at all: He would not have remem-
bered her existence but that, wander
ing afmlfssly along the terrace. he saw
her in TIE drawing-room. ~ ~.
Seems her, he thought It, was pos
sibie Bhe understood ,something at
billiards, although tsks wStbnen. 4 .nerey,
know any thing useful She saw him.
and, fancying from hts manner that
he wished to speak TO her, she opened
the window and went ont 70 him.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13
JUSTICE IN DIsREPUTE.

From the Philadelphia North Amer
lean: A judge who had not been on
the bench long enough to have worn
Holes in it was attempting to do the
Learned Decision stunt, when a Bad
Break provoked a Laugh from an i'm
petuous young Lawyer.
Young man." roared His Honor. ruff
fling his Judicial Ermine, you are
fined 81 for contempt of Court"
AS the Poor Unfortunate stepped I'm
to The Captains Office, an Old Farmer
was observed to>leave the Back Seat
and hobble into the Foreground waving
ten Dollar bill in his hand.
What brings you to the bar of this
Honorable Court, interrupting the
Course of Justice?" cried out His Hon
or with great severity, fixing his Su-
preme Court gaze upon the White
Haired Figure before him.
only trying to Settle up" was the
old fellows Cheerful Reply; same as
that young Teller yander. Reckon he
amt got any more Contempt for This
ere Court than hev."
Moral: Don't Crawl under the Can
vas. but pay at the Entrance.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13

CONNIE 70 An UNDxEsrAitpGEosi
Mr.. Frank r. Stockton, TIC nov6list,
was at q southern resort recently and
there met q Baptist clerg lyman. IN the
course Of their c0nversati Ion the min
lister called Mr.. Stockton doctor, 3 at
which the novelist was much annoyed.
I'm not q DOCTOR" said Mr.. Stock
tom
INC? :" questioningly. "But doctor.
I'm told the women Of the smart net,
or so-called 100. IN New York drink q
great deal. !" \. .'5
don't, know" said Mr.. Stockton.
but ] do know that I'm not DOCTOR
MOP" again, questioningly. But
,a-doctor, I'm informed that drunken
ness is on the increase among those
ladies'" Il, q II % Il
Il don't care replied the novelist,
80 long as you don't call me doctor
because I'm not one"
MOI" queried the clergyman tor a
third time. "But I have been told that
when they can't get liquor they drink
their cologne, doctor" ....
"0h," sighed Stockton, ''you refer,
Of course, to the Colonial Dames.''
New York Sun.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13

you will be cold" he said with M
usual thoughtfulness. /
She went back to the drawing groom
in search of silvery scarf that she
used. She threw it carelessly over her
head and shoulders, where 1t looked 30
picturesque and became her SO well
that he could not help noticing It.
"This is dull work being here alone
he said. 3
ut is dull for both Of u.s. she re-
piled briefly. Z
"Ah, yes; do you know. had quite
forgotten you were alone as we'll.
You must find 1t dull, too. We will
ask some people down at once-this
kind Of thing will never do. I wanted
to ask you, do you know anything OF
billiards."
Billiards." she repeated, wonder
ingly.
"Yes-many ladies play remarkably
well. Lady Courtenay does. It IL
such great resource"
do you want me to play with you?"
she asked, quickly.
Eyes, I am bored to death. am
tired of smoking, I never read much.
and there is nothing to do"
Extraordinary" she cried-"noth-
ing to do!''
What do you mean?" he asked.
II mean nothing. I am very sorry.
have seen a billiard table; but I have
never played. I will try to learn, if
you like"
Beginners are generally very awk-
ward" he said, frankly. II cannot
think how it is that have forgotten
to ask any one over. I must not be
so remiss again."
do you never amuse yourself?" she
asked
"No. How can 1? I am essentially
a sociable being. I feel little interest
in myself" As
"You would rather be amused than
interested" she asked.
He thought for half minute before
he answered. ..-,e
II see," he said. eyes, I prefer
amusement to anything else"
1T is great pity that you cannot
initiate the kings of old, and keep a
court jester with cap and BELLS"
Lord Caraven looked at her. 1t
could not surely be possible that this
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13

wife of his, this money-lender's daugh-
ter, was presuming to be satirical with
him. They walked down the terrace
until they reached the rustic garden
seat, and with an air of utter exhaus-
ton the earl sat down. Hildred took
her seat unasked by his side
The night wind was sweeping round
them, bending the tall chrysanthe-
NUNS, stirring the dying leaves-a
sweet fresh wind that was as odorous
as palm. The twilight was fast fad
ing, the birds had long since ceased to
sing, there was pleasant brooding
sense of rest and of freshness.
(To be continued.)
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13
BEHAVING LIKE ALApY.

A little girl from an East End slum
was invited with others to a charity
West End of London. In the course of
the meal the little maiden startled her
hostess by propounding the query:
Does your husband drink
why, no." replied the astonished
lady OF the house.
After moments pause the NINA
ture querist proceeded with the equally
bewildering questions:
How much coal do YOU burn? What
is your husbands salary? Has he any
bad habits?"
BY this timn the presiding genius of
the table felt called upon to ask her
humble CUES. what made her ask such
strange questions.
"Well," was the, innocent reply.
mother told me to- behave like lady,
and when ladies call at our house they
always ask mother those questions. -
Spare Moments.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13
THE TIME TO la Ugh.
SOME GOOD JOKES, oRIoIsJAL AND
sELECTED.
JustIco in Disrepute or How the Judge
Jared In : Learned Decision" Stunt
+ Humorous Anecdotes and Inci-
dents. "A
GOOD LUCK FOR THE GIRLS.

GOOD LUCK FOR THE GIRLS.
When the subject 81 bulldogs was
reached, the Major took hand, or
rather, he monopolized the CONVERSE
ton. The major" was Sam e. Little
Of near Newburg, Ind, and he gained
his sobriquet as an Indian fighter and
frontiersman.
"You can talk about your fighters
and your fierce beasts, but had q
couple Of genuine English bulls that
beat them all. Why, when came to
figure 1t down those dogs cost, me q
fortune in incidentals alone. They
were so mean that they wouldn't let
anybody come in the yard. Every time
I wanted pound Of coffee, I'd have to
go after it or hire somebody on the
place to make the trip. Those dogs
wouldn't allow the grocer to come in
the neighborhood. And as for the ba-
ker and butcher, they avoided my
place as if it was pesthouse.
"But that wasn't circumstance to
what they did to the young fellows
who came to see my girls, or, rather,
the ones that wanted to come. I had
five girls. They were all pretty and at
tractive, but somehow there weren't
any fellows hanging around my place.
l believe that one fellow did come once,
but one of the dogs got him as he went
over the fence on the return trip and
he did the mantel act three times a
day for two. weeks. But to see those
girls at party or dance you would
think from the way the fellows took on
that there wasn't. another girl in the
state.
Zone day the two dogs got in fight.
Both of them had these kind of teeth
that project over their jaws, and when
once they got a hold it took thunder
to part them. Well they both got a
hold that day, and as the sky was
clear the hired hand took an ak. We
buried them together. And don't you
know that the next night there were
half dozen buggies hitched in front
OF the gate. And it kept on that way
until about six months ago, when the
last of the quintet was married. And
I'm thanking Providence that it didn't
thunder. louisville Courier-Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13

turned the earl, laughingly; "my-my
wife is tall, consider
"And she is beautiful" said Lady
ash princess. You do not often see
faces like hers in England-we are all
red and white"
$50 you ought to be-" he replied; II
can as soon imagine dark angel as
admire dark woman"
"You retain your old love for the
Blondes" said Lady Courtenay. II am
far better judge; and tell you that
the fair pink-and-white faces of most
English women would pale into insig-
nificance before the rich bloom, the
exquisite coloring, the dark, lustrous
eyes of your wife,"
Il really ought to thank you in her
name" he responded.
"You ought to love her very much,
Tor she is worth loving" said Lady
Courtenay, frankly. ,..
"Has any one told you that do
not Love herr" he asked.
mo, certainly not; but, though she
Is so beautiful, she does not look hap
by. Her eyes ought to be filled with
sunshine-they are sad and dreary.
1t is not happ" face, Lord Caraven."
But he had heard quite enough of the
Aopic-his wife's face did not interest
him. He looked at her with some
curiosity after Lady Courtenay had
spoken, and for the first time he was
impressed with her growing beauty.
LADY Alice has rightly described
her." he said to himself-"she is like
q Spanish princess. She would be
perfect if she had a mantilla and a
FAM"
Then he forgot all about it, and was
soon busy talking over old Oxford
days with Sir Charles.
It was not happy face. Mildred
took her place at the brilliantly ap-
pointed table. She was perfectly calm
and self-possessed. In her thought
ful consideration for others she made
an admirable hostess; her tact and
Graciousness were beyond all praise.
But hers was not happy face. She
i'd not voluntarily join in the con-
versation with quick, flashing smile
she answered when she was spoken to,
but she seldom volunteered a remark.
When she was not speaking, when her
face Was in repose. there came over it
IN air of dreary languor, Of sadness, of
thought. painful to see in one so
young. .
What can be wrong here?" thought
Lady Ceurtenay. There is plenty Of
nOney. they are both young. both
I Aandsome Saxon beauty and Spanish
4 wAT are they not happy y for.
asn0ag al other gossip. she had not
AeaeA the fact that Lord Caraven had
aFs1sd Tor money ana not for love
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13
SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER.


Let me tell the story pleaded the
detective. t1The truth is bad enough
without having It exaggerated. It hap
pened good many years ago, and I
supposed it had been forgotten. / have
certainly bought enough cigars to bury
it ten foot deep. Soon after was taken
OF q beat and put in plain clothes a.
cather bold burglary was committed:
The dragnet was thrown out and ordera,
we're issued to the police to arrest every,
suspicious character in sight. was
young and ambitious, and 1t looked
ike Envy chance. struck clew at once
and was not on the scent when l sud-
denly round myself in the hands Of a
green cop who had joined the force
only the week before. .s,. NJ
sAisy,. now. said he, Tightening his
clutch on my collar; yes come along
With NE. 3. u. I. 5 Ys1s Nj I,
I'm vain did II tell MIN who / was
| and show my star to prove 4. ALI he
said was: y ~; II.
S 8a.s "a too old bur-rd Is be caught
| with thot kind Of chat. Ne orders are
"a artist all suspi ciouss char acters. Yez
Ibaye crime stamped on yGur face. Come
along. now. o. Oi'll h after cluhbln'
4 ye1.s XII.
.'There vas nothing to do, Of coprs,
but to 50 With him TO the station. What
brand e you smoke9 Detroit Frs,
Press 2Sss
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13
By CHARLOTTE N. BRAEr1E.

CHAPTER XI.-(Continued)
will care MORE" she said, making
. desperate effort to rouse herself.
What am I to do?"
Amice was all animation. She
brought out a beautiful dinner-dress.
. dress that looked like soft black
cloud tinged with golden light.
Amber and black" said Lady Car
aven. Surely I am dark enough.
Amice7 Lord Caraven likes every
ching about him bright and fair; 1
should wear something lighter If I
mean to please him"
you promised, my lady, that I
should dress you as liked to-day"
1t does not matter" she said, indif-
serenity; and so the amber and black
was worn.
Nothing could have suited her better.
The low dinner-dress showed the ex-
,Nuisttely nodded neck and shoulders,
the rounded arms; it displayed the
beautiful contour of figure tall and
graceful. The mass of dark waving
hair was arranged in thick shining
So1ls fastened with a diamond arrow;
one dark crimson flower lay in their
depths. A pearl necklace was clasped
round the graceful throat, bracelet
round one of the dimpled arms.
Amtce's pride was great; there might
he a thousand ladies present-none
could be SO beautiful as hers.
Lady Courtenay looked up in wonder
es her lovely young hostess entered
the drawing-room. She turned to the
earl, with whom she was most init
mate-they had played together when
children.
How falsely people speak," she
said. Il heard that you had married
q great heiress, but that she was quite
n plain little schoolgirl. l must con-
Eratulate you on the rare beauty of
your wife,"
Little she certainly is not" re-
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13
Texas OH Az Fuel.

Average producing well at Beau
mont, Tex, pours forth 10000 barrels
of oil each day. Same at 20 cents per
barrel gives owner $4,000, or. annual
ly, $5,110,000. Such figures have startled
the world, but they remain undisputed
facts nevertheless. Now figure out
your own profit on the following sure
facts: One hundred dollars invested in
an oil company capitalized at 100000.
owning valuable oil properties adjoin-
ing these great wells. If you are blind
folded to facts then figures are imma-
terial. Small capitalization means I'M
mense returns to stockholders. The
United States Fuel OIL company. the
new Minnesota home concern. has
placed on sale small portion Of Its
guaranteed worcestershire, fully-paid
stock at the opening bedrock first
issue price of Four cents per share: SO
buys $50 shares, $40 buys 500 shares.
$40 buys 1000 shares, 500 buys $500
shares. This amount could make you
rich; this is not impossible, and some
day you will be startled. Should High
Island come in every share would sell
above 81. This local will not appear,
again. Send all remittances and letters
at once to the United States Fuel OIL
company, Nos. 144-146 Endicott Build
ing, st. Paul, Minnesota.
Be sure and mention this paper when
you write.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1901-09-13


found out another accomplishment Of
his wife's-she was an almost perfect
musician, she sang like on inspired.
The love, the passion, the tenderness.
that found no vent in her ordinary life
found vent in song. The rich, low
contralto voice was more beautiful
than anything he had ever heard. She
sang like one whose whole soul is
turned to song. She had set to sweet
| sad music the poets passionate
words
"'Oh, cruel love'-she changed her.
oh, cruel love, whose end is scorn!
Is this the end, to be left alone,
To live forgotten, and die sforlorn?'"
She sang them with such sweet
pathos. 1t was of herself she was
thinking. Who was more forlornf than
she-who more neglected? a.
"Oh, cruel love, whose end is scornv'
What charming musicw said Lady
Courtenay. Whose is it? I do not
remember to have heard it before, and
l am familiar with most modern songs
whose is it?'..
my own" replied Hildred.. when
ever words please me very much, they.
always set themselves to music in my
own mind"l
The words are so sad-'To live for
gotten and die forlorn?' How can
they please one so young as you?"
1T is the fate of many" said Hill
dred, slowly.
1T may be, but it will never be yours
you, Countess of Caraven, young,
gifted, beloved"
There are many ways of dying"
said Hildred. 1T is more bitter than
death to some to live without love; yet
many live without it,"
"You have strange thoughts for one
of your age. I should have imagined
that dresses and jewels, balls and
dances, would have been in your
thoughts rather than sad ideas of life
and love-"
Should you? like balls and dances
very much" said Hildred, trying to
speak lightly-she had no great desire
to reveal to stranger the secrets, of
her life and heart.
"You never told me-" said Lord
Caraven to his wife, that you could
sing so beautifully"
did I not? Perhaps you never
asked me if could sing at ALL"
II do not remember doing so,' he
said. "Have you any more surprises?"
She looked up at him brightly.
"You seemed half-horrified when I
told you that could speak German"
she said. II was afraid that you con-
sidered accomplishments something to
be concealed. l shall never tell you of
: any of mine''
With a glance, half laughing, half
naughty, she took up the sheet of mu-
| sic and crossed the room. Lady
Courtenay looked curiosity into the face
of the earl.
"Ha3 you never heard your wife
! sing, really?" she asked.
mo, had not, indeed" he replied
IF I were man, and had wooed
so sweet songtress, I should have
spent long hours over the piano." she
said. Il thought you always liked
music so much"
$50 do do. But I did not even
know my wife could sing; she makes
no parade of her talent"
"No," said Lady Courtenay to her
self, NOR do I think that you have
made any great parade of your love-"
But she said no more-the subject was
evidently not pleasing to the earl.