davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Kept the nonnet companx.

The story of an elderly couple who
lived in a Massachusetts town nearly
so years ago is told by some of the old
est inhabitants with much JUNCTION.
The lady had been bereft of one help
meet, and her second husband had
twice been left a widower before the
pair were united in the bonds of mat
rimony They were both Of that tenn
permanent which causes its possessor to
be characterized as "set."
On the wedding day the bride found
in the back entry, on conspicuous
nail, sunbonnet which had belonged
to her immediate predecessor. She re-
moved it to oblivion in a closet.
Her newly welded husband made no
comment, but replaced the sunbonnet
on it's accustomed nail.
During the next few days the calico
headgear vibrated with more or less
regularity between the closet and the
nail. Then there came a day when the
bride approached her husband with a
mans hat in her hand as he was in the
act of reinstalling the sunbonnet.
''If you have that sunbonnet there, +"
she said firmly, 81 shall hang up my
first husbands hat on the next nail"
She looked at the bridegroom and
met the counterpart of her own ex-
preston. She hung the hat on the des-
ignated nail, and, although the two
people lived to be very old, neither the
hat nor the sunbonnet ever moved
again till the house came into the
hands of q new owner.-Youth'S Com
Danion
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
sneexe without wfnkinu.

Bobby came home one day covered
with dirt and bruises and trundling a
broken bicycle.
what on earth have you been doing,
my child" exclaimed his terrified
mother.
81 ran over big dog and took a
fall" explained Bobby.
Couldn't you see him and give him
the roadT'
yes; / saw him and was turning out,
but when got within about ten feet
of him shut my eyes. and before got
'em open again I'd run into him."
For the lands sake, what did you
shut your eyes forg'
Couldn't help it. Had to sneeze. If
you think you can holbyour eyes open
when the sneeze comes, you just try it
some day."
If the reader thinks Bobby's excuse
was not valid one, let him try it some
day when the sneeze comes.''-Youth's
Companion.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
He Didn,t write the story.

A correspondent of the Philadelphia
Press says that when the late r. T.. A.
Dorr was on the staff of the Baltimore
American news came one day to the
city editor that food in the Seven Foot
Knoll lighthouse, out in Chesapeake
bay, was exhausted and that the keep
er and his family were starving. Dorr
secured q custom house tug and loaded
it with provisions. The weather was
exceptionally cold, and the tug was
stuck in the ice half a mile from the
knoll. DorT left the boat and started
over the ice.
When he reached the lighthouse, he
was warmly greeted. Come in the
dining ROOM" said the keepers wife
after the rescuer had warmed himself.
''Come in and have dinner with u.s."
Mr.. Dorr thought that hunger had
made her mad. 'I heard that you
needed food,'' stammered Mr.. Dorr as
soon as he could speak.
"WeIl, come to think of It," replied
the housewife, 'we do. We have plen-
ty of meat and vegetables, flour and
that sort, but the next time you are
coming out this way we'd appreciate it
If you'd bring over a few Jars of ounce
JAM" she added cheerfully.
Mr.. Dorr took his provisions back to
Baltimore, but no account OF his trip
was written.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
sacn Great In HIS own way.


They tell a story about John Sher-
fighter. During his triumphal tour aft
err he had downed Corbett the great
gladiator was in Washington and
called at the state department. Then
was seen a contest between brain and
Drawn, head and hands. Fitzsimmons
looked sheepish and i'll at ease, but Mr..
Sherman evidently tried to make him
feel at home.
"Your recent contest was a severe
one. believe, Mr.. FitzsimmonsT he
said.
Mr. Fitzsimmons uttered a couple OF
inaudible words and grinneds
s.It seemed to have pretty thorough
" aroused the country, the contest,
did it notT'
Mr.. Fitzsimmons scrutinized the
brim of his hat attentively, blushed,
Grianed and said:
.-The United States is a fine country.
your HONOR and backed out of the
Office, responding with short, sharp
ducks of the head to the secretary Of
states farewell bows. When the doors
had closed upon the then worlds cham
pion, the wrinkles at the sides of Mr..
Sherman's eyes contracted into
smile.
"a great man that, Babcock," he
said dryly to his secretary, and went
on with his work.-Cincinnati CONNER
cial Tribune.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
The Wrong Text.

every few good speeches are really
impromptu.'' said New Orleans law
yer, who has a reputation as clever
offhand talker, but it is generally
easy to produce that effect by simply
leading off with some strictly local al
fusion. OF course that's a trick, but
it's a trick employed by good many
eminent orators. 1 was broken of it
myself by rather peculiar incident.
zone day Some years ago / happened
to be in town where large CONNER
cial college is located and was invited
by the president to make a few re-
marks to the boys during the noon re-
cess. 1 mentally framed a little talk
on the subject of energy, and as l was
going into the main hall L CHANGED to
notice the word 'Fush' in big letters on
the outside of the door. by Jove,'
said to myself, that's the very thing I
need for localizing my opening SEN
tencev So when l reached the platform
1 launched out something like this:
"TIy young friends, as L approached
the entrance to this room a moment
ago observed a word on the panel of
the door that impressed me as being an
appropriate emblem for an institution
of this eminently practical character.
1t expressed the one thing most useful
to the av<rage man when he steps into
the arena of everyday life. 1t was
"'Pull! yelled a dozen of the boys on
the back seats. There was a roar of
laughter, and / was so horribly discon-
certed that l was unable to take up
the thread of my remarks. The con-
founded door had Push on one side
and Pull on the other. 1 had taken
my text from the wrong side. New
Orleans Times Democrat.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Deafpess Cannon BE Cured

by local applications, as they cannot
reach the diseased portion of the ear.
There is only one way to cure deaf
ness and that is by constitutional
remedies. Deafness is caused by an
infiamed condition of the mucous lin
ing of the eustachian tube. When
this tube gets inilamed you have a
rumbling sound or imperfect hearing.
and when it is entirely closed deafness
is the result, and unless the infiam-
nation can be taken out and this tube
restored to its normal condition, hear
ing will be destroyed forever; nine
cases out of ten are caused by ca
tarrh, which is nothing but an in
famed condition of the mucous sur
faces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars
for any case of deafness Caused by
catarrh) that cannot be cured by
Hall s. Catarrh cure. Send for circu-
lars, free.
F.J. CHENEY & Co., TOLEDO, Ohio.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
king Richard In a kitchen.

ACTORS of the old school did not
have the gorgeous stage settings of the
present" said veteran stage manager
the other night as he gazed at the stage
in F'ord's Opera House while In a
reminiscent mood. II remember once
we were playing southern towns with
Edwin Booth and wanted to put on
Richard IL No special scenery was
carried for this, and 1 was told to look
over the stock at the theater to see If
there was any that could be used.
The second scene called for the en-
trance of the king and all his couriers
into a royal hall. 1 picked out set
Of scenery that / thought would do
for the palace, but cautioned the stage
hands not to get it on wrong side out.
Well, the first scene was finished, and
when the stage was disclosed for the
second there was the typical old kitch-
en- scene, the one with hams hanging
from the rafters, a candlestick on the
mantel and all that. l was Mortified
and asked Mr.. Booth if we should
change it by ringing down the curtain.
He said no, he would go on, but he
cautioned the other players to keep
your eyes on me; don't under any con-
sideration look behind you at the seen
cry
"Well, the scene went of, and after
ward. when 1 asked some of those in
the front of the house, they made no
comment, and 1 was convinced that in
the intensity of the acting they had not
noticed that the king was in the kitch-
en- instead of the palace" Baltimore
Sun.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10

-
klade speeches and pledged them
selves, and Deacon spooner tapped on
the floor with his cane and said he
thanked heaven he had lived to see
that night The enthusiasm was still
bilin when Lish Billings strolled in
and looked around in an inquirin way.
The deacon explained what was up
and asked him If he hadn't sunthin to
say.
'sWaal, not a great DEAL" replied
Lish. I'D like to ask who's to git up
this reyivali'
'We'll send for some great preach
err" answers Abijah Holden.
.Who's to pay him? Preachers amt
revivalin around for nuthin, though
they like to do good"
Everybody looked at everybody, but
no one had any more to say.
"And when we got the revival start
ed" continued Lish, '.there'd have to
be lot of ownin up to things and ask
in forgiveness. Who's goin to own up
to glttin drunk on hard cider, to jawin
his wife. to lickin his children, to pi-
zenin dogs, to cripplin hogs. to stealth
fence rails, to a hundred other mean
things2 Take yer time about it and
don't all speak Mt once, but femme
have the information"
Deacon Spooner opened his mouth
as If to say that Lish had made a
strong pint, but closed 1t again and
heayed sigh and went out. Other
signs was heaved and other folks went
out, and in three minits Lish Billings
had all the cracker and sugar bar'ls
to hisself and was wonderin what had
busted up the meetin. NJ. QUAD.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.
Political Sanction of what All
Agreed to BE n Good Thing.


Agreed TO he n Good Thing.
One of the latest writings of the late
Charles Dudley Warner was an essay
for The Century, entitled 1.-The Pursuit
Of Happiness"
Perhaps the most curious and inter-
esting phrase ever put into a public
document is '.the pursuit of happiness -
1t is declared to be an inalienable
right. 1t cannot be sold. 1t cannot be
given away. 1t is doubtful if it could
be left by will.
The right of every man to be feet
high and of every woman to be feet 4
was regarded as self evident until wo-
men asserted their undoubted right to
be feet high also. when some confu-
sion was introduced into this interpre-
tation of this rhetorical fragment of
the eighteenth century.
But the inalienable right to the pur-
suit of happiness has never been ques-
toned since it was proclaimed as a
new gospel for the new world. The
American people accepted it with en-
thusiasm, as If it had been the discov-
cry of gold prospector, and started
out in the pursuit as If the devil We're
after them.
If. the proclamation had been that
happiness is a common right of the
race, alienable or otherwise; that all
men are or may be happy, history and
tradition might have interfered to raise
doubt whether even the new form of
government could so change the ethical
condition. But the right to make a
pursuit of happiness given in a funda-
mental bill of rights had quite differ
ent aspect. Men had been engaged in
many pursuits, most of them disas-
trous, some of them highly commenda-
bic. A sect in Galilee had set up the
pursuit OF righteousness as the only or
the highest object of mans immortal
powers. The rewards of it, however,
were not always immediate. Here was
a political sanction of a pursuit that
everybody acknowledged to be OF a
good thing.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Appearances.

They have called to solicit the firms
assistance for local charity.
Greene-Suppose we ask this gentle
man that is coming up the aisle.
Gray-No; he's dressed too well, and
he has too much the air of enterprise
and activity. He is undoubtedly an I'M
derling on small salary. We will tao
kle that slouchy looking, woebegone
little man at the desk. He is sure to
be the head of the establishment
Boston Transcript.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
A NecesaIty.

The sage has had his say against
marrying in haste; here is the same
thought with prettier coloring.
A solemn and awe inspiring bishop
was examining a class of girls and
asked:
.sWhat is the best preparation for the
sacrament of matrimonyT'
2 "a little coortin, me lordT' was the
unexpected reply of one of the num-
Der, whose nationality may be guessed.
Exchange.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Startling Expose.

Sister Snowball-Deed, Sistah Dahk-
leigh, did yo' all notice how Pahson
Pinfeatheh's bal haid shine dis mawn-
IMP Honey, tell yo' dat saint sho'ly
shine wifi invalid grace.
Sister Darkleigh-Inwahdg grace, nuff-
in! Pahson Pinfeatheh done been
boa'din at NAH house, en- nah boy
Wash'm'ton Jeff'son done see him pol
ish dat baP haid wifi dishyer tan shoe
observation-disclosures American.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
A sPAsM OF REFORM.
THE REVIVAL THAT WAS SUGGESTED
FOR THE TOWN OF JERICHO.

Pap Perkins, the Postmaster, Tells
About the Enthusiasm with Which
Abijah Holders Idea Was Greeted
and How Lish Billings Doused 1t
With n Wet Blanket.
Copyright, 1900. by G. D. Lewisl
1t was Abijah Holden who first got
the idea. and he sprung it on the post
office crowd one Saturday night in the
most unexpected manner. He'd bin
keepin powerful quiet fur week or
two, like man who's left his jack
knife stickin in the barn door and is
tryin TO remember the fact, and this
made the surprise all the greater. The
crowd was most ready to go home
when he got up and said:
'sFeller Citizens OF Jericho-I want
to see this town doomed as much as
my of you. I want to see her git up
and hump herself till Boston or Chica-
go won't be in 1t, but when 1t comes to
choosin between size and goodness I'm
fur goodness. 1 think It's better fur
ones soul and body to live In small,
good town than in a big, bad town.
I'm willin to go In and help push Jeri-
cho along, as said, but let's do 1t on
right lines. Let's start her OF on a
high moral plane and keep her So
There's q pint, and mebbe mighty
strong one, in what Bijah says" re-
marked Deacon Spooner as the speaE-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
A Careful Speaker.

1'What did you expect to prove by
that exceedingly long winded argument
of yoursr" asked the friend.
81 didn't expect to prove anything"
answered the orator. t'All hoped to
do was to confuse the other fellow so
that he couldn't prove that I didn't
prove ything."-Answers.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
E.trnerdinarx Temerity.

.T told that Boston girl didn't like
Emerson"
"Was she displeased?"
'sDispleased? She got nearly as mad
as she did when I said that beans
could be baked without salt pork
Chicago Record.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Buok,en,s Arnic. saive.

Has worldwide fame for marvellous
cures. 1t surpasses any other salye.
2tion, ointment or balm for cuts,
gns, burns, boils. sores, felons.
srs, letter, salt rheum, fever sores,
iAped hands. skin eruPtions. in
e for piles. Cure guaranteed.
po.e cents at Hartz & Ullemeyer's
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Inconte.tabIe.

Mary-Pm positive Fred loves me
and intends to make me his wife.
Helen-Why? Has he proposed yet?
Mary-No, but he disliIkes mother
more every time he sees fer.-Jugend.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10

A kitten has been brought up on an
exclusively vegetable diet by a family
of vegetarian The result is that it
viii not touch animal food. and it pays
no attention to rats or mice. $50
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
whaf Wnn fhe uneY

Mother-Goodness. how did you hurt
your finger so?
Little son-with hammer.
"When2n
ga good while ago.
81 didn't hear you cry"
mo, mother. I thought you were
out. Stray Stories.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10

Save doctors bills by giving Foley's
Honey and Tar to infants and children
in time to prevent pneumonia or
Group, which are fatal to so many
thousands of babies. All druggists
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Pension.

A Mexican war veteran and prom
inent editor writes: Seeing the adj
vertisement OF Chamberlain Collie
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy, am
reminded that as soldier in Mexico
in 1S47 and 1913. contracted Next
can diarrhoea and this remedy has
kept me from getting an increase in
my pension for on every renewal a
dose of it restored me- 1t is un-
equaled as quick cure for diarrhoea
and is pleasant and safe to take. For
sale by all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
II able and Kitchen.
rractieal suEse.tions About what I.

Eat and How to Prepare Food.
4 This matter will be found to be entirely
different from and superior to the usual
run of food articles. in that every item is
nugget of culinary wisdom and eminently
practical.
FIRST VOLUME.
Conducted by Ida Ames Willis, 71s
Chamber of Commerce Building. Chicago.
to whom all inquiries should be addressed.
All Rights Reserved by Banning Co., Chi
cago.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10

q "A EE
Bss-.tAs 20 The KIND you Hsa tIasEs Baach
s''. : N11zzzx
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
INQUTRIEs ANSWERED..

Miss Kathie Hurrell writes: take great
pleasure in reading your recipes. Will you
Thanking you for same, also fnciose ten
cents for your booklet of Christmas din
dress.
. On account of mistake in address we have
Enclosed the recipe requested in personal
letter. If you do not receive same kindly
let us know.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
FTR sT VOLUDqE.
NIrs As EooD.

Within the last two years nuts have
gained well-deserved position in our diet
airy, and will be, it is predicted, more wide
ly used as their good qualities become more
generally appreciated
Nearly all the nuts contain large percent
ages or heterogeneous constituents and fats.
IN the nut kernel there is very little waste;
In fact, the nourishment is in a concen-
trated form, and for that reason nuts are
best combined or taken with other foods.
I Iy are especially valued for their me.
vegetable food product. Nut bouillon is
now made with a flavor which has deceived
experts, who declared that meat must
nave been used in its PREPARATION.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
ECONOMIC value.

Considering the percentage Of nitrogen
Gus material, the price paid for nuts is
comparatively low. The cost of the nuts
varies in different localities, the nuts which
grow in certain districts, of course, being
cheaper in these districts 1t is not always
the most expensive variety which furnishes
the most nutriment. In buying nuts the
for that, reason those with the lighter shells
may be cheaper
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10

We all know of many ways of preparing
the cocoanut, but how many are aware that
an excellent soup is prepared from the
walnut is an old friend and improves any
dish where It may be used. English wal
nuts with cut-up celery hearts and salt are
a new relish; almost any nut could be
served in this way. Brazil nuts are very
oily, usually considered indigestible but,
nevertheless, are highly priced as dessert
nut.
As nuts are concentrated form of food
a heavy dinner, as is the custom now.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-01-10
Nsth & Brautigam Go.

Phone l1,e rheims Second Ave.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1901-06-07
Grange Meeting.

Pomona Grange, No. ~, st. Clair
county, will meet with Grove Grange
at Spring Hill, June 10Th. The follow
ing program will be carried OUT
Meeting called to order at 10 a. IN.
Opened i'm 9Th degree.
Reports of subordinate oranges.
Recess for dinner.
AFTERNOON SESSION.
Called to order at I O'Clock.
Welcome address by w. M. of Grove Grange.
Response ........by w. Nj. OF Pomona Grange.
"Why is our Agricultural College entitled to the
support and patronage of farmers and In
what way does the training at an Agricultural
College benefit a young farmer 2"
.......:... .......... Daniel Foley, Capac.
Are our public schools as useful as they might
be and what can be done to improve them
..............James Massie, Lynn Grange.
"What farm crops are best adapted TO this To-
calty ?".........H. M. Merritt. Doyle Grange.
"HOw can our crops and farm products be
marketed to the best advantage?
...........JOhn Sheehy. BrOckway Grange.
Recitation, Miss Hayes, Brockway Grange.
How should farmer and his family spend
their vacation?"
........Levi homework. star Grange.
Singing.
"How can the Grange exert a greater edu-
cational influence upon its members?'
................R. .. Gould, Berlin Grange
"What are the advantages OF a home upon the
farm over the advantages OF home else
where?" ..........W WIN. Lee, Eureka Grange.
Music.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1901-06-07
MT. SALEM FARMERS CLUB.
interesting Meeting Held on Thurs
day at VIM. Hyde'S.

! day at VIM. Hyde'S.
The Mt Salem Farmers club met on
May 30 at VIM. Hyde's home, in En-
NETT, and held very successful meet
ing. There was large attendance at
this meeting on account of the wet
weather, which stopped farm work.
After a bOuntiful dinner the meet
! ing was called to order by Vice Presi-
dent John Moody. After roll call and
reading of minutes the club enjoyed
some excellent music by Miss Nora
Foley and F. III. Collins. Daniel Foley
read very able paper on 1.-THE Ameri-
can Farmer of the Past, Present and
Future" Mr.. Foley gave brief his
tory of the farmer in early days, also
of the present time and prophesied
aerial navigation for the farmer in.
stead of carriage on wheels as now,
and many other good things.
"The advantage of life insurance
for the farmer and his wife," led by
Andrew Nolan was discussed and a
general debate ended in favor of in
surance.
Comparative corporations among
farmers" byF. ii. Collins. There was
small minority opposed to organized
farming, but the majority were in
favor of cooperation among farmers
as organizations of every industry are
the questions of these days.
Miss Eva Groshaw gave fine reci-
tation.
After thanking Mr. and Mrs. VIM.
Hyde for the genial way in which
they entertained the club, the meeting
adjourned.
The June meeting will be held at
Lawrence Powers on June %, with
the following program:
Cultivation of flowers" by Miss
Nora Foley.
Good manners. What are they ?"
by Adrian Popplewell
"Does it pay farmers to spray fruit
trees and how shall it be done ?" by
Il. III. Collins.
"Does it pay to hold farm products
for higher prices when they are ready
for market ?" by VIM. Powers.
1.-THE kind of woman the times de-
mand" by Mrs. Maurice Foley and
Andrew Nolan.