The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-11-24
FUN OF THE WORLD.

de pahSOn. he too loug-Windeds en- oe
ohgan. hit too sho't-winded-
< <
Once a distinguished Russian grand
duke found himself charged twenty
! francs apiece for not house peaches ~
the Old Cafe de Paris. IL the French
metropolis. Are not-hcuse peaches 80
scarce then. even N midwiuterr ne ask
ed No. replied the meltre hotel
but grand dukes are"
x = Sg
/ Queen Anne was once surrounded ov a
| host of gsyiy dressed ecoUrtierss and IN
1 the throng was an old man Of IS wearing
/ the plain dress OF a country farmer.
Have you ever seen such sight be-
/ Iore2 asked iooker-on. and the throng
was startled 10 hear the old man SAY:
Never since sat in her chair. Il was
/ Cromwell's son.
Eg zz
An insurance officer who claims TO be
I the only man in his business who ever
/ talked business 10 J. Pierpont Morgan.
remarked the other day. 4 could more
easily see the hundred hardest men in
! San Francisco than do IL again. Never
| mind how I did IL. / walked in on Nor
gan at the Office one day and stated my
business. How did you get in hereg'
/ said he. walked in said l. Wei.
walk out said he I did"
= = <
At 2 school in Kent an inspector was
/ examining a class OF children in srlth-
metic when the ispector asked the fol-
/ lowing question:
Now. .'ohn. supposing / gave you two
rabbits and another kind friend gave you
one more, how many would you have
John-Four. sir.
Inspector-No. my boy. two and one
don't make four.
John (quickly)-Please sir. I've got one
old loD-eared en- at home
z
Shortly after President Roosevelt enter
ed the White House a politician called
upon him, with reference TO appointment.
After the preliminary expressions Of high
esteem, unbounded admiration and eter-
nal loyalty. he began 10 disclose his bus
inness. i want 10 speak TO You about
Mr. Blank. who holds a small Office down
in my district The politician did
not finish his sentence What ex-
claimed Roosevelt. interrupting him: rs
that internal sCounGrel stiil in that placer
had some knowledge Of him when was
a civil service commissioned" The poll
tician acknowledged that Mr. Blank was
still there and then turned the subject
x z K
One evening last week an Atchison bust
ness man forgot that ne had a light in MIS-
store. and two young women saw him
kiss a woman who had called The story
got into circulation and there was much
gossip about the matter. and two or three
different women were suspected of being
the one who was kissed There was
great indignation. and a woman friend Of
his wife decided that she should know
the truth. She called on her and told her
10 prepare for terrible news. but wanted
her 10 bear up bravely. Then she told
how the vile man had kissed a woman IN
his store. '"Oh. l don't mind" said the
wife. since L was the woman who was
kissed"
gg8
William Clark. youngest son Of United
States Senator Clark graduate OF Yale
law school and practcing lawyer in
Butte, has just returned from Europe
with his bride who was Miss Mabel Eos
ter OF Butte. Montana
Young Clark was passing the Fifth
avenue hotel the other day when an old
acquaintance who had not heard 81 his
marriage rushed up 10 him and said fam
iliarly:
Hello. Willie. where've you been for
year or sO?''
Clark without pausing TO any great OK
tent. replied: I've been taking a post
graduate course in partnership and or
ganizaton."
x Z z u
A certain lawyer here IN town employees
a stenographer who has the most Won
derful collars and the most elaborate pom
padour in all the business world. She has
a personal theory Of punctuation aud her
spelling is marked with engaging or
iginality. but she's so even-tempered that
only an sbsurdly csrping person would
take notice OF such ecceutricities one
day she laid before her employer a neatly /
typed letter TO a southern correspondent /
Before signing II he glanced over II.
Sc here he said. you've spelled
sugar sugar.
The typewriter glanced at the sheet AMI
smiled
Dear me said she. how careless OF
me- Why. I've left out the H.
x x RE
Some time ago man presented himself
before the Liverpool magistrate with the
following tale:
Me name is Patrick O'Connor an I
lives AT -- street. an 7 kapes hens IN
my cellar, but the water pipes is burst
an ny hens are all drowned.
wen. my good man. We can do aothlng
for you; you had better apply 10 the
water company was all the advice ne
got.
few days later the Same man appear
ed with precisely the same tale.
You were here a few DAYS azo. and
We advised won 70 20 20 the water com /
psny. Did you do So"
II did. We honors.'
And what did they say 70 your
They told me 20 kape ducks"
z z x
An army officer just back from the Phil l
ippines tells the following story Of a cali /
low young officer whose mistakes are a 4
frequent source Of amusement % his com /
rades: Early in his military experience /
the lieutenant Was awakened one night by 4
the sentry who passed by bis tent calling 4
out the hour and vouchsadnE the infor- \
nation. ais well The youth turned 1
over and settled down 20 another nap hlt 4
the next hour was awakened again by the
call. when this had been re-
peated the third time he decided 70 sn-
dure s. no longer and going 70 the door q (
his tent. called out Look here. ms
good man. its very kind of ycu % seI ne
the time. but I have a watch here - ms
bed. 20 please spare yourself further
trouble"
TIE Philadelphia Record fhus quotes
business man "Unless a mar has spec
ally schoois5 himself. memory is bound 81
b. treacherous some tirnes. DONE trust
1ine a au any more. ~ has gone back
1n ne too often besides q postal card
1nly costs = csnt ard 7 always carry q
ot ~ them around with ne ~ f1s
- business calls TIE away frrr1 fhe sters
great deal and 70 matter who're usv
le-ridiuE ~ street car. Walking er ia
me ~ the numerous place. - Euesnsee
p iIich frequeut-zhsu aa idea occurs -
re that requires ~ atffrtisr. 9 "a
lernorarc l-nl ~ st down cn rls,4t ear.
2lr-s7 % 70 ny seIf ard lrep = 81 fer
earesi letter box Some case rfi sd
dozen Qaslal cards o. =ysef zri tra