New-York tribune., 1901-07-28

up that would probably never have thought Of if
had started right out to work for living "-(Chi-
cago Record-Herald.
Motormen on certain lines on Long Island are
permitted to wear shirt waists and straw hats
This Is a concession to common sense in this sitting
season
WHEN FATHER RODE THE GOAT.
The house is full OF arnica
And mystery profound:
or make the slightest sound;
We leave the big piano shut
And do not strike a note.
The doctors been here seven times
Since father rode the goat.
He joined the lodge a week ago
And sixteen brethren brought him home.
Though he says he brought them.
His wrist was sprained, and one big rip
There must have been a lively time
When father rode the goat.
He's resting. on the couch to-day
And practising his signs
The hailing signal. working grip.
And other monkeyshines;
He mutters passwords meath his breath.
And other things he'll quote
They surely had an evenings work
When father rode the goat.
He has gorgeous uniform.
All gold and red and blue.
A hat with plumes and yellow braid.
But. somehow. when We mention IT,
He wears look grim
We wonder If he rode the goat
-(Baltimore American.
THE San Francisco ArgOnaut' tells this as a true
story: When the Transvaal its height.
Paul KRUGER sent commissioner TO England to
find out IL there any more men left there.
The commissioner wired from London to say that
there We're four million men and women knocking
about the town: that there was excitement, and
that begging TO be sent to fight the Beers.
Kruger wired back. Go north. The commissioner
found himself in Newcastle eventually. and wired
KRUGER: For Gods sake. stop that war! Eng
land is bringing up men from he'll. eight at time.
in cages" He had seen coal mine"
His Favorite.-"what is your favorite pIay?"
Ordinarily answered Mr.. Stormngton Barnes.
'ft is Hamlet But when hen | need the money it is
"A few years ago" says writer in Anecdotes
when the new lands in Indian Territory
opened the small towns which sprang up We're
filed with very mixed population, and the theatres
and travelling theatrical companies were on par
with the towns they visited One night the writer
was I'm Oklahoma City, and stepped into theatre
where .Trilby' was being played The house
hacked from top to bottom with tough characters,
ard the character of the actors and their acting
was II ANYTHING tougher. that the audi
ence became restless. The play finally reached the
point where Little Biee is supposed to clasp Trlby
na ssonately in his arms instead of which he held
her at arms length. with as much ardor as he
would have shown TO a bale of hay. and exclaimed.
Oh Trilby nothing can come between US" where
at six-foot COW puncher In the gallery leaned
the railing and shouted In OF supreme disgust
.Aw git out! Yer could trow COW between yer!
A Good Enough Way for Hint wouldn't cry
like that. my little man.. -
Well. you can cry any way you want to; this
Is my way."-(Brooklyn Life
Every expensive looking Panama hat" remarks
1.-THE Philadelphia Record" hasn't cost its owner
the small fortune that its appearance would seem
TO indicate. There lot of young men wearing
hats that would cost perhaps S5 or $50 apiece in
the store. which were really purchased at outlay
of not more than 81. They have been specially i'm
ported in the rough One large business house
with headquarters in this city has branch offices all
over the world. There is down in Venezuela,
and when the Panama hat fad came in vogue this
summer lot of men In the home office dubbed
together and instructed the Venezuelan agent to
ship TO Philadelphia consignment of hats. Buy
ing them in the quantity desired, they cost each
man IS. When they arrived they We're In the origi-
nal state, but for 81 local halter will block them
into any desired shape and put the finishing
touches to them"
eighty-nine years old. known 1.-THE marrying
parson," broke all records the other day by marry
ing seventeen couples in twenty-four hours
Ibid you ever notice this paradox" remarked
the erusty summer boarder on the porch of the
seashore hotel.
What paradox inquired the other
That the easy chairs are always hardest TO
get"-(Philadelphia Press.
The highest telegraph poles In the United States
have just been erected in Beaumont Tex So far
tops being $50 feet from the ground. They carry
Western Union cable across the Neches Rivera
span l44 feet in length.
REJECTED
He her of his love, and begged she would
tAhi he was poor po in everything but sail2 ;,
Because he hadn't any stamps at ALL
-1Ga&holic Standard and Times.