The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-05-24
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Mrs. Wiggles-Does your husband
have 'denY Mrs. Waggles-No, he
roars all over the house, Sommerville
Journal
Dodson-Tapley hopes to be social
lion Fogson--I don't see why he
shouldn't be; he is already a cub.-Har-
lem Life.
Mr.. Newed- uni Seems to me- my
angel this hash has a queer taste.
Young Wife-Hash? That's fruitcake.
New York Weekly.
Munnybags-My daughter is going to
marry a duke. Reporter What you
need, Mr. Munnybags, is press agent.
Ohio State Journal.
Hdp-l look upon you, sir, as ras-
cal. Partee-You are privileged to
look upon me In any character you de-
sire to assume Sick.
yep. Blfkens has gone stark,
staring dany" what caused it?"
Trying to keep track Of the baseball
war."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-Don't you think that is a funny
story? She-Yes; but | have got the
neuralgia too bad to-day to laugh at
anything. -Sommerville Journal.
The Kangaroo-A hunter chased me
ten miles to-day The Ostrich-Pll bet
you We're mad. Ell? The Kangaroo
Mad! was hopping!-Town Topics.
His Profession: Prisoner-I was
quietly attending to my work when this
man arrested me Magistrate-W What is
your business? Prisoner-I am burg
lar.-Tit-Blts.
Jake (timidly)-I wish knowed what
you would do If should steal a kiss,
Miss Linda. Miss Linda (coyly)-'T
wouldn't take no great while to find
out, Jake.-Puck.
Casey Whoi don't We pay Cassidy
tn tin cints We owe him? Costigan-
Faith, Cassidy puts up such good
foight OF wudn't be friends wild him
fer nything.-Judge.
PA" asked little George, whats
the pOmp and circumstance of war, any
wayT General Miles," replied the old
gentleman, without looking up from
his paper.-Chlcago Times Herald.
My daughter had a quiet wedding
on account of her husbands recent
bereavement" HAS he lost a near
relativeT" Yes; his first wife has
been dead only six months. Chicago
Record.
These druggists make me tired with
their superfuous directions" whats
the matter nowY "Why. this prescrip-
ton had filed for the ague has a label
on 1t: Shake before taking "-Phlla-
delphia Press.
Il think Miss Sorosls is a girl Of
very pronounced character" what
leads you to that belief?" "She got all
ready to so to the theater and never
once asked If her hat was on straight"
Philadelphia Times.
A Different Point of View: Willie
(cryingD-Mamma - boo-hool - Joe hit
me with Il great big brick! Boo hoo!
Mamma-And what did you do to him,
dear? WILLIE hit him gently with
that same little brick he threw at me.
Exchange.
TOmmy-Mamma makes me go to bed
every night at o'clock. Minister
Well, you know, she does that to make
you healthy. Tommy guess that's
so. notice when pa doesn't get home
to bed till after midnight he don't look
healthy next morning. Philadelphia
Record.
Henrietta. of Gainesville, says: MY
papa objects to my admirers sitting on
the steps and talking with me until a
late hour at night He claims that he
cannot sleep ON account of our noise,
What would you adviser advise
papa to sleep in the daytime. "-Balti-
more American.
"You told me-" said the Infatuated
purchaser. that that brook on the farm
you sold me never ran dry" Guess |
did" said the real estate man. 1T has
been dry all summer" when 1t was
dry. 1t didn't run, did III Therefore, II
could not run dry; we never deceive
indianapolis Press.
Mrs. Church-You say they win not
take any children in these flats? Mrs
Gotham-Thats the rule. and they
carry 1t out to the letter. why when
came upstairs | saw three or foul
dlrty-faced children on the stairway
ooh. well, those belong to the janltor'
-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs Stubb-John, | expect to attend
the sewing circle tonight. Mr.. Stubb-
Well Maria what is the program? Mrs
Stubb-We are going to discuss this
man Aguinaldo. Mr.. Stubb-Absurd
What has he to do with sewing? Mrs
Stubb-A good deal; don't the paper.