The Sunday globe., 1901-08-11
FOREMAN SMITH
Of the Agricultural Experiment
Station in Alexandria County.
HOW A PIOUS TASK MASTER
Who will Discharge an EmpIOye il He SSearS
Has Reduced Government Employees 10
Slaves Congressman RreyS PrOtege Says
rs Cents Day is Enough for Expert Farmers
Violation Of the Eight Hour Law.

The Agricultural Department has an
Experimental Station in Alexandria
County, Va. This station employs a
number of farmers under a superin-
tendent or foreman. The Government
pays these agriculturists, who are ex'
pert farmers in their several lines,
$3.50 per diem Of 10 hours labor I'm.
til short time ago the men were com
paratively satisfied with the wages
they received and labored faithfully
and industriously under their fore.
man, John W. Olden, an experienced
and expert agriculturist, Mr., Olden
observed the law Of the land, and the
men under him worked eight hours
each day and observed the national
holidays like other Government en-
ployes.
But a cousin, or some distant rela-
tive of Congressman RiXey, of the dis
trict in which the station is located,
got his eye upon Olden's job, and being
a pious man, he prayed for the same,
his lhul tlC MtlN ANbl u W AAN SOlA3
gresham, and he forthwith, regardless
of the success Of the Experimental Sta
tion, laid siege to the naturalized
Scotchman at the head of the Agricul-
tural Department
Notwithstanding that Olden had, for
Is years, given entire satisfaction to
the many Secretaries who preceded our
imported and present head of the De-
partment he was dismissed and Con
gresham Rixey's man, with the eu.
phoneous and uncommon name Of
Smith got the job, Mr.. Olden worked
and brought the Station to its present
perfection on a salary of 81 900 per an.
mum. When he was succeeded by Mr..
Smith the salary was Immediately rails
ed to 81 800 per annum. This sine.
cure. however, did not satisfy Mr..
Smith, for Mr.. Smith is an extremely
pious man; so much so, in fact, that
he has threatened the farmers under
him with instant dismissal if ever they
use a cuss-word Of any kind or descrip-
tiOn.
Now, Mr.. Smith Immediately set to
work, in a purely pious way to in
crease his perks" First he brought
two horses from his farm. A Govern.
ment employe looked after, fed, groom
ed and watered these mustangs Mr..
Smiths next. move was to bring all
the horses and wagons he had on his
farm and put them in the service Of
the Government at current rates. And
this notwithstanding that Mr., Smiths
predecessor who wasn't on to the pos.
sibilities Of his job, used the Govern
ment mules at st. Asaph, where some
200 or more mules belonging to Uncle
Sam live in idleness and clover After
Mr.. Smith had worked his piOus graft
and incidentally his four or six horses
and wagons on the Government, he
turned his attention to the farmers un
der him. He ordered them to report
at A. NJ instead of s A. NJ, as for
merly, and he worked them until
p, NJ. instead Of p. NJ. as under the
Olden regime. The noon hour Mr.
Smith couldn't very we'll abolish, but
he amended it in such a manner that
the watering OF the horses was order
ed for this time Of the day. And, as
it takes half an hour to water the
horses, Mr.. Smith very adrOitly and
piously chopped off half an hour off
lue men nOOu-udy rest,
Having now gotten things going to
suit Smith, he cast around him in
search OF something else which would
make life less interesting for the farm
ers working ten hours lie was not
long in finding the something. The ma.
tional holiday came around, and he
issued his ukase that every man would
be docked $3.50 for that days compul-
sorry idleness. That is every man but
Smith. He, Of course, would draw his
$1,000 per annum salary in full, not.
withstanding his piety and cOnscion.
tiousness.
Then Smith discovered that his
slaves were beginning to show signs
of resentment at his treatment of
them. They likened him among them.
selves to the slaye-drivers Of antebel.
lum days, Smith issued a pronounce
mento to them, with his capacious
mouth, and this is what Smith said.
you fellows are getting too much
wages. / say $3.50 a day Is too much
to pay you There isn't a farmer here
worth that money, If | can obtain
permission from the Department | will
bring farmers here from my own place
at 70 cents a day, and let me tell you,
IS cents a day is good wages and all
that the Government ought to pay.
can get plenty Of farmers at that
price"
Mr. Smith then, as usual, went home
an hour before his slaves dared quit
wO.-- This kind Of treatment neces.
sarily secured the confidence and es-
TEEN Of the men working under him.
If there is any Smith in the numerous
family OF that name more utterly de.
spised than the foreman of the Expert.
mental Station history then the records
have failed to transmit him to poster.
ity. If Mr.. Smith had experience, ex.
pert knowledge, or a thorough under.
standing Of his business he would not
be justified in treating Government
employees like antebelum "niggers."
but Mr.. Smith lacks all these essen
tials. His very first break showed his
entire Ignorance Of the advanced farm
ing methods at the Station. He under
took to have drainage tiling laid and
ordered the men to begin at the wrong
end, and II took some persuasion on
the mems part to induce him to permit
them to lay the tiling the proper way.
Smith finally saw the point. but didn't
blush. 1t only maiden Smiths who
blush, not pious individuals who work
four horses and wagons on the Govern.
ment, draws $1,000 per annum. beats
the Government out Of two hours in