davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
Untlerstood NJ Last.

Hello, central! Give me one ariuple
nougf south"
What ~
Don't you catch on? one zero, zero,
zero, south"
w iii IA at ~
South one double naught, nanght."
Cant you speak plainer?'' 81
One thousand sonth--ten hundred
south. Got 1t now??n
Oh, you mean south one, naught,
double naught. All right."C Chicago
Tribune.s
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16

THE recent advance I'M Kentucky
whisky seems to, baaatif fully idDusarates
natural law =
How, sep &
..The more 1t goes up the less III goes
down, - Cleveland Plain DEALER
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
Those Absnrd DIctionnrse...

Uncle Jethro There ain't no sense IN
dictionaries. nohow.
# Edgar How did you arrive at that
conclusion, Uncle Jethro?
Uncle Jethro They spell "hosss with
an and leave It out when they
come to "horsepetaL Boston Tram
script
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
Ar.annus ,rnsss.

st hear that, you have been laid mp
with nervous prostra tionl What was
the matter overworK or WORRY!
Not exactly; the fact lie, tried to
have photograph tahen THAT suited
my wife,.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
Determination.

It's the only tonne on earth,''' said.
Mr.. Dolan, who was struggling with a.
baIky horse, that I wisht for annottv-
mobile. :"
Would yez sell the horse e.
mo, sir. never give in lke4 that
I'd hitch the animal up In front Of the
machine, an then I'd see whether he'd
90 or not. Washington Star.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16

Fam sure Pisoss cure for Consumptios saveA
my life three years ago. Mrs THos. RoBBLHa
Maple Street, Norwich, N. X. Faha ~. le9a
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16

NTrs. WfnsIovs.s soothing EyFap.
For children *eetning Screens the gums, reduces In
nanmation allays pain cures Wind collie. 2c bottlo
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
Pile and rist,,ia u, ra.

Sample treatment Of our Red Cross Pile a.d
Fistula Cure and book explaining cause and cure
Of Piles, sent free to any address TOT four cents ia
stamps. Rea Bros. y Co.. Minneapolis, MINI.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16

Don't read while lying down II
causes an uatpsual strain on some OF the
external or directing muscles.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
M. a Go,

People come for miles to see Mrs
Goss and hear her wonderful story.
Dodd's Kidney Pills are working mar
veious cures I'm Missouri.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
Explained.

Your mothers Still in bedRv Is she.
80 very sick ~
shes not sick at all, but pops on q
spree, and she stays in bed SO she can.h
hook Philadelphia Times.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16

The. rattle of the wheels OF life Is .
call for the oil Of prayer.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
N CournE,;eor. Job,,

Col. BraggI've fought and bIed for
my country, sir; I've
Alex Smart-Yes: but did you ever-
help your wife hang, pictures7 Ohio.
State Journal. ss,
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-05-16
n I..9.lh,dnnth,,a. ra ]. l.re.,,

u you have Dyspepsia, write Or. shoop Eacin
VIA, Box 49, for sig bottles OF Dr. Shoep's RestUr
tive express paid. Send no money Pay s5 * cures
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

Mrs. J. W. ColenhrIndcr. who dice.
recently at Euluwnyo, WAS once d"-
Scrihcd by Lord Lock Oh Il public Or,
caSiOn, rs the hravost woman in
South Africa" Her husband was con
spicuous ut the occupation of Matn.
Leleland and in the subsequent Malta.
Lele rebellion. and she shared dangors
Of every kind with him. She was IN
excellent shot and n thorough horst :
woman. and these accomplishments
added to inylncible courage. enabled
her to save the lives Of others MS well
MS her own on more than one occasion.
Her adventures and narrow escapes
from death would fill Il volume. She
was almost drowned in the Temh"
River by the cGpsizing Of steam
launch. She was nearly burned alive
in n vrldt fire which overlook the way.
on in which she and her husband were
travelling aud which destroyed most
Of their trek oxen. Once in wild
night ride to escape the attacl; of some
hunger emboldencd lions she WAS
knocked almost scnsclcss by the over
hanging branch of tree. ana many
times hostile warriors threatened them
with death. Mrs. Colenhrardcr aud
her sister were the only women pres.
ent at the famous second "indnbn,'
or peAcemaking, between Cecil Rhodes
and her husband. on the part OF the
white nation, and the rebel chiefs IN
the Matoppos Hills.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

Theory and practice are two differ
ent things, in war ~ elsewhere; hit
military science Is now reduced to 20
fine point that, given certain fac
tors, II Is possible to map out n cam
paign as the skilled chess player maps
out game, forcstalling in fancy the
moves his adversary may make, and
preparing to prevent one and ONSET
another, so as either to bring about a
decisive victory or to insure defeat
against too serious consequences. war
Is no longer, in our time, an effort TO
sec which OF two combatanta can de-
stroy the more lives and property, bit
n struggle on the part Of the aggres-
sye force to gain certain end with
the least practicable expenditure of
blood and money, and on the part -
the defensive force to raise every pos
sible obstacle to the accomplishment
OF this purpose. 1t Is not so far ort
OF the question, therefore, as 1t mignt
appear at q first glance, to set aud
solve the main problems of war on
paper. We saw in the splendid
achievements OF our navy in 1898 the
fruits OF this very line OF theoretic
study, which had been conducted fer
some years at the Naval War college
at Newport; and the conditions II
warfare on land are so much more
constant and the elements which
enter into it SO much simpler than
those Of warfare on the sea, that 1t
would be reasonable to expect equal
results from a corresponding course
of preparation for the army.-lllr-
pcr's Wcekley.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

The douhle-cnded barn of Thomas
Finnegan in Monticello, Me, has been
giving the American customs officers
plenty of trouble for some time back,
and has recently landed Mir. Finnegan
in trouble. also, he having to pay Il
fine to avoid going to Jail. This barn
straddles the dividing line between the
state OF Maine and the province OF
New Brunswick. Mr.. Finnegani is an IN
dustrious mar, but how he managed to
raise the crops he did, to say nothing
of wool and pelts, has been puzzle to
the customs officers. They decided
that an investigation should be held
as to the fertility of Mr.. Finncgan's
farm. They took careful measure
ments. and verified the fact that one
end OF the barn was in Monticello,
Me-, and the other in Wilmot town,
province of New Brunswick, Canada.
One night when lying in the bushes
on the Canadian side of the line the
officers saw a number of wagons drive
MP and discharge n cargo at the Cana
dian end OF the barn. After the wng-
ons had gone the officers entered the
barn and found Mr.. Finnegan indus
triously rolling potato barrels over
the border. Mr. Finnegan was fined
heavily and the officers will continue
to keep an eye on the capacious barn
What had complicated the matter was
that Finncgan said he was no SNUG
glcr and frequently paid duty on small.
importations.- Chicago Record.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

A man who lives on an uptown
street where the houses cost $25, Zoo
up was surprised not long ago by
seeing a man known to all New York.
crs who patroniZe a wcll.known res,
tanrant coming from house several
doors below him with an air of pro,
prictorship. This restaurant emplOyC
stood on tie sidewalk for a few mo-,
ments and gaZed admiringly at his
house and then at its respectable
ncighbors. For many years he has
been connected with a certain New
York restaurant as an attendant and
his fees have been generous. He
knew all its patrons by name, and
his politenCss and cagerness to rem
der service have made him well liked.
Wondering if this restaurant atten-
dant, whom he knew only by his first
name, could by airy possibility have
rented a house Oh that street. the old
resident came out to satisfy his
curiosity.
Hello" he said. "What are you
doing up here?'
Good morning. Mr.. Blank" said
the restaurant attendant. How do
you like my new house? l have just
bought it because | think that my
family will like this neighborhood.
You are perhaps aware that my tips
have been generous for many years,
and | can now afford to live in this
house very easily"
His Questioner had no objection to
him as a neighbo" and he congratu-
lated the restaurant attendant on his
prosperity. The house had actually
been bought by tips, for its owners
salary probably averaged about SIS
u week.-.New York Sun.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05
Heroic American Scanen.

When CoXswain Swanson and his
gigs crew of four seanlcn volunteers
went down to their death while seck
ing safe anchorage for the cruiser
Yosemite, tcmpest-tossed in the South
China Sea, they added another heroic
chapter to the history of the deeds Of
mcn OF the American navy. Something
more than para graph was added to
the chapter little later when Boat
awain Sweeney and twelve of the crew
volunteered to take n life line ashore
in the very teeth of the typhoon. The.r
cockhle- shell boat was Immediately
swamped, and it detracts nothing from
the heroism of the attempt when it is
known that by something little short
of miracle all of the volunteer sail
ors, after n struggle of an hour in the
seething sea, succeeded In reaching tln
shore. The late Admiral McNair ono"
said that the recital Of some of Jack $
deeds in peace times would make as
stirring n story as the tale OF his sea
fights. 1t is not necessary 10 read lu:'
even in the cold-cut official naval re-
ports to find that Admiral McNair was
more than half right
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

The trials of the country doctor were
well illustrated Thursday by Or. O..
ii. Simmons, Of kingtield, who WAS
called TO so into logging camp to at
tend man who had broken his leg.
I,r. Simmons left KnIfeld late in the
afternoon and dove to Sam Parsons 5
Oh the Lowe Deal Hive.' road, which
is about twenty miles rom Kingiield
He left there with guide on foot in
the evening and hampcd across
through the woods and streams and
rivers fourteen miles to the logging
camp, arriving there at 3 o'clock ~
the morning. He set tie broken lr:,
and started for home about s n. III.
The last three miles before they got
to the camp the only track through
the frozen snow was q single foot
track going in, so coming out tl.a
track was the wrong way. 1t lam III
him SO that by the time ht got out
within about five miles of the settle
ment where his team was he was so
lame lie could not travel. His guido
had to go OUT and get a team and by
cutting boughs to fill one of tli,'
streams they got the team in and took
him out to Mr.. Parsons's. He arriv, d
home late Saturday uftcrnoon.-LcM
iston (Mc.) Journal.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

One hot night the Khoja slept on the
veranda to be cool. He awoke, how
ever, in a fright, and saw what he
took to be a robber dressed In white
climbing over the garden wall. He
seized his bow and Immediately sent
an arrow straight through the inagin-
nry burglar. On calm examination,
however, he found that the white OBJ
ject was one Of his own nightshirts
which his wife had washed and hung
on the wall to dry. The ki!oja accord
inglv began to call out, praise be 10
Cod and other religious ordinations,
which awoke the neichbors who mis-.
took them for the morning call 60
prayer. Finding It still wanted several
hours to sunrise, they surrounded the
Khoja and Indignantly inquired what
lie meant by his untimely piety. 81
was thanking God" he replied, "thnt
was not inside my shirt when shot
IN arrow through it."-From "Turke!
In Europe" by Odysseus.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

1t may be affirmed that exactly in
proportion to the amount of meat
eaten by civilized nations on the aver
age so the power Of the nation grows,
not necessarily physically but ment-
ally, and in the nervous control of
their physical power. A Chinese
days work which would appall q
British trades unonst fed on beef
and suet pudding. But pit the coolic
against the unionist in the power of
applying their individual physical
powers and the cooie is nowhere,
even II the other use his superior
mental capacity in various unprofes-
sional directions. How can the pre-
dominance of the southern race in
earlier times and the equal predomi.
nance of the northern nations now
days be explained in this theory?
Easily enough. 1t Is we'll known that
in warm climates, even what We
should regard as a moderate consump.
ton Of meat is doleterious In the long
run. Rritons in India are advised to
abstain from eating much flesh while
in that torrid country. We believe
that advice to be founded on error,
unless they intend to settle down and
bring up their family there The meat
eating Briton in India Is usually the
hoalthiest and the most capable of the
sustained eXertlon. If, however, he
live and die and his family are
brought up to there, continued free
Indulgence In meat foods is apt to be
followed by untoward effects
London Medical Press.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

BY her heroism Miss Esther Bowen.
United States mail carrier, saved
tie lives OF two women rs well as he.
own OIL n steep mountain road, be-
tween Mount Carmel, Penn, and vii.
burton, where she resides. Just be,
fore starting to drive with the mail
pouch in the carriage, her two friends
asked to go along.
Halfway down the mountain tic
horse ran away. There was danger Cf
the carriage plunging over the peg
pendicular mountain side into the rnv-
inc, several thousand feet below. Miss
Bowen told her companions not TO
jump, else they would be dashed 10
pieces. The young mail carriers hands
were cruelty torn by the reins, which
she chung to with all her strength.
She conceived the idea to guide the
horse against the bank ana in the en-.
suing shock trust to everybody being
hurled from the Carriage and landing
on tie road instead Of over the cliff.
The girl tugged ut the reins, and tn.
horse dashed head-1irst against the
bank. The women We're hurled high II
the air and fell on the road. Miss
Bowen's hands and face We're badly
liberated and bruised, and her cont
panions escaped with few bruises
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

The annual worlds crop of peanuts
Is said to be 100000 bushels. !.1out
100000 bushels of these are raised in
this country. and only about 1000
600 bushels are left for export, the rest
being consumed here. Twenty mil
lion bushels are sent to Europe an
nually from Asia and Africa, but
comparatively few are eaten from the
shell, the bulk being converted into
oil and flower. \ bushel of peanuts
yields about a gallon of oil. The flour
that is left after the oil is extracted is
made into bread, which is sold in
large quantities in France and Ger
many. Even the vines and shells are
utilized. the former being employed
as fodder for mules and the latter as
food for pigs.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05
THE LETTER DID NOT SEND.

He was the friend of my boyhood,
Ny youth and my manhood prime,
We had vowed to he ever faithful
To the end OF our earthly time.
But somehow il happened we quarreled
One word to another led;
And our yes were flashing in anger
And bitter was all we said,
That night ] wrote such letter
As one might write to foe,
And told him that never thereafter
Would I wish his presence to know;
We must pass each other as strangers,
Our lives henceiorward apart;
And let him know that forever
had torn him out OF my heart.
Then sought my bed, still raging.
But courted slumber in vain;
The face OF my more than brother
Rose before me ever again.
He was always so true BESIDE me
And sharing all changes OF life;
Our words had been always OF loving
And never till now of strife.
And then our quarrel-what was It?
How did it ever befall?
Perhaps he was right-ycs, ] know it,
1t was | in the wrong, after all
Chen rose from my bed, took the letter
And cast it into the fire;
And there saw it smo,der to ashes;
And thus did my anger expire.
A fair morning shone on our meeting;
A look we could each understand
Had drawn lis once more together
In warm, firm grasp of the hand.
Not word was said of our quarrel,
Again it was friend and friend,
Thank God that he never saw it
The letter | aid not send.
George Birdseye, in Boston Globe.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05
Would Adopt Vigorous Measures.

For long time the favoritc form of
make believe" of little Faith was that
OF getting married." For weeks she
was bride, marching down an imag-
mary aisle to the strains Of an imagin-
airy wedding march, to meet an mag
mary bridegroom. At last, her mother
becoming tired of it, she said:
Faith, don't you know that when
you get married you will have to leave
me:"
This was n rude awakening, and
the game stopped.
Not long afterward she came to ask
the difference between Miss" and
Mrs" TO make herself clear her
mother said
well, when you grow up and be-
come young lady you Will be Miss
Butler, but II some man should ask
you to marry him.
"I'd call a policeman" exclaimed
Faith. and her interest was mt an end.
1t Is probably safe to say, however.
that in Il dozen years from now the fu-
ture "mnn" need not seriously consider
the chances of arrest.-Waverley Mag
DZiue
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05
American Consuls Get Poor Pnv,

One usually finds the consular off.
GERS Of the other nations men of spe,
cal fitness. and they are ottimes rep
resentatives of the best society and
Of considerable wealth. Every nation
except ours. allows its representative
to give special functions in hrnor OF
state occasions; but If our representa-.
tive HOSTS the flag on the Fourth OF
July and invites those who respect IT
to JON him In feast he must pay for
the refreshments out of his own purse
The American consul is guest at
every other consular function and Of
ten the guest of honor. Seldom is he
eble to return the compliment. 1t Is
hard to ask a man to exhibit the glory
CT his country's traditions and live in
style at the same time on the salary
Of good bookkeeper.-Success.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

and tho clerk Of :hc depot master
has the duties Of clerk Of tha express;
office ana postnttrp, The three Young
men came in with masks on ana "stuck
up" the clerk. The postmaster heard.
an unusual noise in the OTTER Office.
so he speedily opened his safe, put tho
package Of money in Il gunnysack AMI
threw It in n corner, While lie WAS
engaged in this one of the robbers
called him to come out
wait until get dressed" replied
the postmaster, rs he closed the safe
and locked 1t. Taking his time he fin
ally appeared IN the front Office. was
duly stuck m" and commanded to
open his safe. He was very ohli:lu-
and did everything he was asked TO IL,
As nothing was found. the men went
away without further arley.-penver
Republican.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

According to correspondent in the
Washington Star China Is the las!
great game preserve in the worll
Many will be surprised TO learn that
Notwithstanding the dense population
of China and the centuries since thu
country has become thickly populated
1t is still the best stocked with game
of any country in the world. Even in
the regions about Pekin, now occupied
by the allied troops, where villages dot
the plain every mile or two and tie
population exceeds 1000 to the square
mile, wolves, foxes. racoons, weasl2s
and rabbits are so thick rs to he pests
while such game rs pigeons, quail!
grouse and rice birds are found In I'M
mensc tiocks. The wolves of China
are particularly numerous end fear
loss, and many lives are lost every
winter from their depredations.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05

One OF the wealthIeet land proprle-
tors near Smolensk In Russia, died \
few months ag), and after the funeral
his heirs and attorneys began to 10 'l'
for his will, They fanCied that this
task would be merely perfunctory
and that the document would be
found among the other family papers,
but, much to their surprise they were
unable to find the slightest trace II
IL, Every room and article of turui-
ture in the house was then carefully
searched, but the result was the same,
and the only conclusion at which the
heirs could arrive was either that no
will had ever been made or that II one
had been made il was destroyed be
fore their kinsman's death.
The missing document, however,
was round Il few days ago and in the
stransest place imaginable. a youlg
man WAS rambling through the house.
and, happening to see graphophunc
on table in the library, he examined
it to see ii it was In working order
''' '''N'i'N tllsll II "NS IhN u wv
ord in it, which he supposed was that
of some popular Russian song. What
was his amaZement, however. when
instead of song he heard the dead
mans voice slowly recitc the words
of the missing will!
The heirs We're promptly notified
of this discovery and they lost no
time in carefully examining the rec
ord containing the will. 1t was found
to be ilawcss, and the question then
arose whether such a will would be
deemed valid by the courts or not.
This question is now being discussed
in the supreme court at st, Peters.
burg and the case is interesting all
lawyers who have heard of it, Many
think that the will will be pronounced
entirely valid, and If so it may become
II common practice for persons to use
Graphophones for the purpose of max
ing their wills.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1901-01-05
Makes Hail
Grow

Perhaps your mother had
thin hair, but that is no reason
why you must go through life
with half-starved hair. lfyou
want long, thick hair, feed it.
Feed it with Ayers Hair Vigor,
the only genuine hair food you
can buy.
Your hair will grow thick
and long, and will be soft and
glossy.
Ayers Hair Vigor always
restores color to gray hair; it
keeps the scalp clean and
healthy, and stops falling of
the hair.
One dollar a bottle.