The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-11-30
ALONG THE SKIRMISH LINE.
The Met-morbhosl. of the Grub.

The Metsmorphosis Of the Grub.
There was once man who had dwelt
for some twenty years in Grub Street. He
did not dwell there from choice It was
| because he had to. He wore hand-me-
down clothes. ate in hash restaurants,
and patronized~ the free lunch counter
! when nc needed a drink. But because he
/ did not put up any great front about be-
| ing hard worked and fll-paid and having
responsibilities on his hands. people had
an idea he was enjoying himself saving
money.
By and by there came a time when his
income swelled and his responsibilities
dropped off, and he began 20 think it was
time for him TO have some fun He went
to tailor and ordered the nobbiest suit
Of clothes in the establishment, and he
began to go to theatres and on excur-
sions, and he changed his boarding place.
All his acquaintance were aghast at the
change in his behavior, not because it
cost them anything. but because they were
interested in him and wanted to be his
friends They could not conceive q rea-
son for his eccentric actions
According to thei7 ideas ne should have
gone on into a peaceful old age, with the
superintendency of the Sunday school as
his only recreation and the foreign mis-
sion society his only extravaganza: and
at his death fat bank account should
have gIaddened the hearts of his numer-
Gus relatives Finally they arrived at the
| conclusion that he was going to get mar
ried- They connected his name with those
of various eligible ladies until one would
have thought he was about to emigrate
for Salt Lake But none Of the ladies
knew anything OF any such intentio-- The
man went or having a coed time. for he
did not care. AM he had good time, all
/ by himself. until he died
Moral: There is not always woman in
the case.
How did jenkins get that great bump
on his forehead"
I dent know, unless it was that his
head grew so big that it hit the roof"
Some Of the people who make all the
fuss that they do over popular musicians
/ ought to be instructed that a musical ear
is not necessarily half yard long
They say he is a man of marked tai
ent"
IN my opialon it would have to be
marked if he wanted anyone to see it"
Time thrown away is liable to sprout
unpleasant weeds where it lands
There once was ar Amiable Ant,
Who was esiite nee from envy o. cant;
She did all the work
| OF the ants who would shirk.
! Nor gFieTed them By saying, I shsn't.''
! Cleanliness may be next to godIness,
but the man who is trying to run his own
! furnace cannot keep much Of either on
hand.
The Droverb says that a barking dog is
safe; and he is. 50 long as he keeps out
OF sight
The great ambition Of the medical stu
dent Is to be called Doc and a few
years later his great ambition is not to be.
''The borseIess carriage would be all
right soIfIoquized the diseorsolate
young man. If could have taken it out
with hirt1ess girl. But as it was. my
attention was distracted and then the
machine went distracted too
lam woman with a history. she be
gan trsgiealIy-
The nan at the desk pushed back his
chair and looked apprehensive but
curious.
a history of our martyred Presidents.
which
Slam went the door. The man at the
desk had fed.
Il have come" announced the tragedy
/ queen, weight I60, to throw myself on
+ your mercy
And that was the time the quality Of
mercy was strained.
What did you do when on earths'
/ queried St Peter.
7 lived in Washington" began the luck
! less one.
That's not much to your credit. Go
on"
And never had any time to attend to
my soul. because a young lady next door
used to begin practicing at O'Clock in
the morning
That's enough. Your application is
accepted. Your harp isn't likely 10 trou-
| bic the neighbors."