davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
clAsS.EYE HUM'-'R.
Rather Grim Fun INDUCED In by the
ossessor of One.

, OesesSOr OF Ones
.sThere is a certain resident or city
not 500 miles from the Hub, said l..
A. Goodwin, of Boston. at the Hotel
Manhattan, reports the New York Trib-
une, "who in addition to somewhat
highly developed sense of humor is also
the possessor of a glass eye. 1t Is q
wonderfully natural creation and did
not its owner publish the fact OF mis-
proprietorship far and wide few would
there be who would not suppose MN
still to be the possessor of both the OPP
tics with which nature originally en-
dowed him.
"Some time ago the eye-shy man was
at that particular kind of dinner pop
ularly termed stag. His neighbor. IT
must be confessed. in reprehenslble
spirit Of pride, turned to him with
.\Nhat do YOU think Of that for a
scratch, Blank?' at the same time scalp
ing himself and revealing pate as
bald as that Of the man whom the late
lamented Travers once advised to sugar
his head and go to a certain ball IN the
character of pill. Blank glanced at
the shining surface thus revealed and
then his hand stole to his face. AND
what do you think Of that for an eye:
was the response he made. and from
the center of the other mans plate OF
SOUP the eye unblushingly challenged
his opinion. The owner Of the scratch
did not give it. He simply howled aloud
for trapped air.
"At another time a poker game was
in progress and the entire party were
casting about for a buck. And how
will this do for buck?' was the re-
mark that accompanied the eye to the
center of the table.
"Its last individual appearance was
brought about by golf. Its owner had
golf aspira lions and hired high-priced
professional to perfect him in the game
Keep your h'eye on the ball, Mr.
Blank was the burden Of the cry that
wore out that persons patience. FL
nally, unable to stand it longer. and at
about the twentieth singsong reitera-
ton of Keep your h'eye on the ball.
SIR Blank deposited the glass sphere
and with the query. is my eye suffl'
ciently on the ball now" started In to
make long drive rs his coach started
hurriedly for home"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

rope and the Trans Atlantic railway OF
Bagdad. Naturally the narrowest d.
viding line OF sea has been chosen for
the point of connection. \ military
bridge. erected by Corinthian long
before the Christian era, once SPAWNED
these 600 yards of water at the same
spot and over it marched King Darius
and his 100000 Persian braves. Lord
Byron. impatient of bridges as of many
things. swan the flood and as a result
was addressed in much minor verse as
Leander. The new bridge is to be
erected on lasting lines. Massive gran
lite pillars are to be built and these will
support the steel cables on which the
bridge depends. They will provide ac-
commodation for artillery and orna-
ments will not be wanting in the shape
of minarets and cupolas. decorated
with tiles and arabesques.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
THE CARTHAGE OF TO-DAY,
Interesting Collection of Exhibits in
the EardO Mu scum.

Interesting Collection of Exhibits in
the Hardo Museum.
A railway now runs to Carthage from
Tunis. The summer palace of the hey
may be visited, but specifically. A
walk through the court yards is allow
ed, surrounded by thickly latticed Win
dows. but one may not stand still with
in the precincts. Not on the direct
road to Carthage, but easily reached
during the same drive, is the museum
at Bardo, opened in 1883 in the old
harem adjoining the bey's public pal
ace, and full of most interesting results
Of recent North African excavating.
Catalogues can hardly keep pace with
discovery and additions, so that of
many beautiful things a verbal descrip-
ton by the intelligent attendant COM
prises all available information. Es-
pecially rich in mosaics, the museum
contains room after room filled with
fine examples of wall and floor decora-
ton, those found in Suza (Hadrume-
tum being generally in better state
of preservation than the Carthage re-
mains. The ancient inhabitants would
seem to have pleased themselves by
reproducing with their bits of colored
stone many familiar scenes, and so
fishing" with men and boats and nets.
Il seaslore banquet. quite deliberately
worked out. the "chase." with dogs.
hunters and flying game appear. In
1897 u very large pavement design was
discovered near Zajhrun, representing
the signs of the zodiac in circle. sur
rounded by the seven days of the week.
In addition to the earlier mosaics, there
are many exhibiting Christian designs.
But mosaics by no means comprise the
chief wealth of the museum. Hundreds
of Punic lamps of earthenware are
gathered, simple but showing graceful
forms and decoration. weird masks
with ingenious varieties of contortion
in the features, tear walls and water
jars and fine bits Of sculpture. Three
statues have been recently excavated
together at Carthage, perhaps the most
beautiful at Bardo. The central figure
in this exquisite group is thought to be
Ceres, and is more perfect than the
others. A few fine relics in gold and
silver are shown and altogether the
Musee Aloui would be an enthralling
spot for months of study.-Scientitic
American.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
What Nfoonshinc Is Made or

"As l rode down the mountain one
morning to the sawmill." remarked a
lumberman returned from the wilds
Of West Virginia, where the Hatfield
McCoys do their share toward making
every prospect pleasing, ETC.. II caught
up with Il red-headed young mountain
eer. whom I had seen about the mill
number Of times, but who would never
take Job, and to my knowledge had
never done days work since l had
been living there. He was a good
natured fellow. and as rode along
with him joked him about the girls
and poetry and that sort Of slosh. and
then struck squarely ut him in way
some mountaineers do not hesitate to
resent most vigorously.
"'Say. Jim.' put right at him. don't
you make white liquor around here
somewhere
"'Well. colonel he replied with
laugh. you amt goin' to give me away.
an l reckon l mought as we'll as not
tell you tibet eff don't I come pinteily
nigh 1t. But won't tell nothin' more,
colonel
"'Oh.' laughed. 4 don't want to
know where the still is, but would
like to know what you make 1t Of
"'They amt no secret in tibet. colo
nell he grinned, fur IT. purity much
the same ez fer ez being goods con-
cerned. reckon our'n's about ez
good ez that Is. and we make 1t outen
cornmeal and warter come to bile.
Then we put in a litty ivy er laurel
mebbe you'd call 1t. and some Shawn
soap to give 1t a head. and. colonel. it's
the fi'tin'est whisky you ever seed
(which explains good many things"
concluded the lumberman. "in the way
of the scraps that took place around
that neighborhood whenever the men
had day off."-Detroit Free rress.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

The first news that came to us from
the fight at Lexington and the other do
ngs of that day arrived about 6 O'Clock
in ne afternoon. when some minute
men from another town stopped at the
tavern on their way home. They told
the story of the day to the little crowd
of anxious women who eagerly ques-
toned them for news of some dear one.
! My father would not let me go down
to the tavern, but went down himself
and brought us the news.
Something unusual has happened,
Mary" exclaimed my mother. II never
saw your father look so excited
l fastened down the path to meet
him.
Bad news, my child; bad news" he
exclaimed. "There has been an encoun-
ter with the kings troops" And then.
reading the question in my eyes. he con-
tinued, But they brought no news Of
our men,
The hour set for the wedding was s
o'clock, but 1t began to look as If there
would be no weaving. for 1t was now
after Z o'clock, and none of our men
had returned home.
At last we heard steps outside, and
then my brother Arthur, who was
among the first to reach home, stayger-
ed into the room. sprang up and ran
to him. He sank into the nearest chair,
and his gun fell to the floor with a thud.
Arthur was only a boy of Is. you must
remember, and the day had been a ter
rible one.
When he had recovered little, my
father spoke. "What news do you
bring. my SOM" he asked.
arthur" l said. lis 1t Henry?"
Listen" he said, speaking rapidly.
"The kings troops We're in full retreat
when we reached the road. We did not
keep with our companies. but each one
found shelter as he was able behind
trees, walls or fences. l met Henry as
l was crossing a field, and we took
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

shelter together and awaited the COM
ing of the troops. We had just got set
tied when Henry caught sight OF
thanking party coming right down on
us. He called to the men near us to
run for their lives, and at the same time
we both jumped the wall and ran for
house which stood in the field just OPP
posite. reached the opposite wall In
safety and turned round to look for
Henry, but he was not with me. At
that moment the troops came round a
sudden turn in the road and sent some
shots in our direction. At the risk of
being shot. stood up and looked across
the road. He must have been hit by
the flanking party, for he lay just by
the WALL"
Suddenly heard the sound of a
horses feet coming up the. road at a
furious pace. l sat up and listened.
somebody is riding on an important
errand," said to myself. Nearer and
nearer came the sound. and the rider,
whoever he was, drew rein at our door.
Then there were murmur Of voices
and an opening and shutting Of doors,
and then my mothers voice calling to
me: "Mary. Mary; child, come down!
Henry is here! He's GOMEZ"
Scarcely believing that heard Alright,
l got up and ran downstairs and into
the kitchen, and there before me. his
face pale as death. with blood-stained
bandage bound about his forehead,
stood your grandfather.
MARY" he cried. holding out his
hands to me. Il am in time! The clock
has not struck yet. We have beaten
the enemy at every point. and won a
great victory! am hit, but not seri-
ously hurt"
Then parson Elder. who had come
over to hear the news from Arthur
came forward and said: shall per-
form the ceremony now:"
So right then and there your grand
father, IL his working clothes. all stain
ed with dust and blood. and l, in my
morning calico. were married.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
THE CHURCH BACK HOME.

When the big pipe organs swellin an
the city choir sings.
An you almost hear the swishn' OF the
lovin' angels wings.
An the congregations musin' on the
proneness for to sin.
Sort o lcanin' listless, Waitin for the
preacher to begin;
In that holy hush it happens that clean
forget the place,
An again I'm meek an Lowry fore
throne of savin' grace:
A throne that wasn't nestlin' meath a
spire or Il dome.
But the sinners sought their Savior in
that little church back home.
When we had protractcd meetin's, why,
'twould done you good to hear
The congregation singin' with u blend o
voices clear,
How the Rock Of Ages" lowered like q
shelt'rin' sort o wall,
An our souls SCARED up to glory since
the Rock was cleft for all.
Ev'ry face was wrcathed with sweetness.
an We always had smile
For the stranger. saint or sinner. in the
pew across the aisle;
For diamonds often gathered from the
commoneSt of loan
An we didn't mind the settin' in the little
church back home.
There were weddu's where the neigh
bors gathered in from far an wide,
An the boys looked on in envy while
their sisters kissed the bride:
There were fun'rals. too. where neigh
bors didn't feel ashamed to cry
When they laid to rest the sleeper in the
little yard close by.
Each pew seems sort o. sacred, an the
lowly pulpit there
Pears like holy gateway to a frma-
ment that's fair;
Where the sweet. supernal sunshine soft
ly scattered sorrows gloom
An let's us enter heaven from the little
church back home.
The city choir's voices rise in cadences
so sweet
AS they sing about the river where the
sainted ones shall meet
An the preachers coice is pleudin' as he
asks lis. soft and low,
TO treat all men as brothers in this
weary vale Of woe.
This city church is handsome, an the
Congregations large,
The preachers doin' nobly with his heav-
en- seekin' charge.
The choir's swelin' anthems soar to
heaven through the dome.
But my old heart is sighn' for the little
church back home
Roy Farrell Greene. in Leslie's Week
".
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
Coffee lutOXicatiOn.

A visitor recently returned from Bra
I'll, says that the whole country is per
petually intoxicated by coffee. 1t IL
brought to the bedside the moment one
awakes and just before he drops
asleep, at meals and between meals
on going out and coming in. Men
women and children drink it with the
same liberality and it Is fed to babies
in arms. The effect is apparent In
trembling hands, twitching eyelids. vel
low. dry skin and chronic eXcitability
worse than that produced by whisky.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

disease
beautiful light imaginable
is
of
be of Raphael u los the Cniver
salt
illumination the bacterial fluids placed shaped
ceiling delicate
dul
brilliant.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

thumb while dealing a man wouio
know when certain denominations were
given out. The deck with which Hen
nv had been playing was examined ana
found to be marked in that manner. AT
the time he struck the stranger he hau
evidently forgotten about the ring
blade being open. OF course, he was
promptly kicked out of the clubs. ana
he made it convenient to disappear. =
New Orleans Times Democrat.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

001 ELL. as was saying. this is
WM the way it came about: was
~S young thing then. just turn
ed 10. Your grandfather had been my
playmate hero and protector from the
time that | was old enough to go to
school, l had never thought of marry
ing any one but him. and SO when he
asked me to he his wife, why, Of
course, said YES"
Well. it was in the spring of 1915 that
we were to be married. Mother and
spent the winter getting my things
made up and l had as fine an outfit as
girl could possibly have in those days.
The day set for the wedding was the
nineteenth of April-yes the very day
on which the battle of Lexington occur
red, as l have good reason to renem-
Der.
The nineteenth of April was beauti-
full day. though warm one for the sea-
son. We We're all up early that morn
ing, for there was great deal to be
done. 1t was about 8 o'clock in the
forenoon when my mother. who had
raised her head. exclaiming as she did
so, "Why. Mary. was that the meeting
house, belle"
What can it mean?" l cried. and.
running to the window, caught sight
of our neighbours sons, Joe and John
Eaton, running down the road with
their guns. Across the way Harry
In En1. u,
boys called out to him as they passed.
and without stopping to unhtch the
horse, he seized his gun and was Off
across the fields.
1T is an alarm. mother." cried.
'"The boys are down by the brook, :"
she said. 1.-The sound will not reach
them"
Without delay hurried to the kitch-
en-. and. Selling the horn. l ran out of
the house and started for the brook.
which was some distance from the
house. blew a blast on the horn as
| ran, and as the boys caught sight of
me pointed toward the read where
several men could be seen running with
their guns. The boys understood, and,
waving their hands to me. they We're
off across the field to the road.
what is it? Where are they going?'
asked. And rs spoke the men came
hurrying out of the meeting house,
where they had heard a few words
from Parson Smith. and. mounting
their horses, rode off as fast rs they
could 60 looked for your GRANDPA.
Their hut he was not there Catching
sight of my father ran to him. Have
YOU seen Henry?"- your grand
father-l asked.
"Henry was at the tavern when the
messenger rode through here" replied
nv father. and as ne had his horse
with him. he rode away without wait
ing for the company to assemble"
My father had reached home before
me. and as opened the door heard
mother ask. "DO you think 1t is any
thing serious. father?"
II am afraid 1t may be. wife," he said.
1.-THE messenger said that Gov. Gage
has sent some of the kings troops to
destroy the supplies which have been
stored ut Concord. II the report is true.
there will be resistance. and II 1t comes
to that II will be very serious business
for u.s.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

The Jail is not as unsafe as 1t looks.
The only way it has been 'broken" was
by cutting the window bars. The
walls are three logs thick, with the
middle ties vertical. Should a would
he ''breaker" succeed in cutting the %
inches of oak Of the first two inner ties
the vertical log would drop. Thus he
would have an endless job to reach
even the third tier.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
TO BRIDGE THE BOSPHORuS

Fine Structure will BE Constructed
by Railway Company.
The scheme of bridging the BOSpho-
rus has been revived and it is an
nounceu that Il magnificent structure
will span the river ere the lapse of an
the Sultan of Turkey. Abdul Hamid.
1t is to he constructed by the BosphoruS
Railway Company. which designs Il
junction between the railways of Eu-
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
Real Grievance.

"ConfOund 1t. Brooksw exclaimed
Rivers. II wish you hadn't sworn OF
from smoking"
"Why" asked Brooks.
because I've nobody now to give the
cheap cigars to that my landlady hands
me when l pay the rent."-Chicago
Tribune.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

in the establishment of the free rural
delivery system, boxes of a smaller size
being provided for this purpose. BY
driving close to the box with the wag-
on the contents may be extracted with
out exposure to rain or snow, and this
also enables the driver to perform his
duties without exposing himself to the
storm
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

When a lamp appears In the parlor.
and the woman says that she prefers
it because 1t Is SO 'cosy," 1t means
that her husband has been making q
big kick on the gas bills.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
M Rain i'm Two Years.

A West Australian exploring party
that recently arrived ut Oodnadata re-
ported that there had not been drop
of rain for two years in the region
trn yprSQI.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
OLD LOG JAIL.

Where Brown County, Ind, still Con.
fines Her had Men.
Brown County. Ind. still confines her
bad men in log cabin Jail. The first
one was built in 1887. 1t burned In
1870, and the present one was built.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

From the time boys attention to
his sisters guest Is called acting
smart" to the day Of her death. he is
never satisfactory when there Is com.
pany.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
Sum, ,,,er Philosonhx.

III this world had no men in it." said
the philosophic summer girl, life
would be like one long visit to the sea-
shore. "-Philadelphia Record.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
Cultivated Area.

Within the last fifty years the cult
waited area of the earth has increased
by 3OO,OOO.OOO acres.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
Big Missouri Nursery

A nursery near Mexico. Mo-, contains
$4,000 young fruit trees, pruned and
cultivated to perfection.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

You recommend many man to your
neighbor whom you would not trust
yourself.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17

Why Short Girls Are Preferred.
1t Is an undeniable fact that the ma
jority Of men prefer short women to
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-01-17
MY WEDDING DAY

0a1EI.L. as l was saying. this Is
W the way it came about: l was
- - 8, .-o,,ptr tl,irtr tbor. ivct t,,r,,
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-05-19

WRITTEN FOR THE SUNDAY REPUBLIc.
There = . cowboy out At San Francisco
Who ridss Z steer In preferences to horse.
The cowboys name 10 Edward Sullivan
everybody calls him Eddie"
TIT American man OF the horse ID recog-
nised the world over n . rough rider. who
win tackle anything, from a bucking
bronco to . full-blooded racer-and win But
ii has remained for the San Francisco cow
boy to show what can really b done in the
riding line.
EDDIE 10 one Of those California mush-
rooms Of the saddle who seem to have
grown there. Csntaurlike. right from the
start. He never learned 70 ride. There was
mo need Of that. II bothered him more to
get: the knack Of walking than to stick o
. horse.
Somebody put Eddie on the back of RAJ
mon, the pony, the little bucking sinner.
when he WAS knee high to q grasshopper.
Ramon plunged under him like q catboat in
Gquall, while. EDDIE sat IN what some.
body has called the s'hfonco's hurricane
deck" And he sat there in very truth. and
old. Carlos. who caught . glimpse, Of his
face. slys. that II was not one bit paler
than usual. ssUsnal'' meGns . very gorgeous
shade iof aunburn. Nor were his eyes Mt all
large q. hls mouth at al open. His face was
very tight, hut there was the tolliest look
on Il. rs II this were great fun. He could
barely reach to q full sttrrup, but some
how he held N.
e was NOT : quarter Of an hour before
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-05-19
* COWBOY RIDES A STEER INSTEAD .OF A HORSE and SAYS He ENJOYS Il. M i
Steers Have Speed Superior to That Of Many Horses, and This Gov
boys Steers Can Beat Any Of Them on a Race to the Range
He Says Steers Are "Tricky,n and One Never Knows
When They Are Safely aBroke. ]

Didn't need to use much rope around
this steer, did you, Buster?"
TOO bad that you waited your. prayers
on me. Martha"
who was that said I would be picked up
in tw%enty-nine. pieces? Seems. X I'm
pretty much one piece now"
Then he dismounted and hitched Silver
chime. who accepted the hitching meekly
and stood breathing long. resignsd aighs.
tokens Of. WEAKNESS and surrender.
After that there was no further trouble.
A steer has brains II you only give him .
chance to use them. and Dddie's now steed
had sense enough to leave all matters Of
immediate decision implicitly to his mas.
ter. silvershine became interested in his
work and found that It was much more fun
to drive the other cattle than to Be driven
himself:
He and Eddie were lifelong chums-this
aiasi was for only too short . time. fer
silyershine died while yet In his prime.
Somehow Eddie didn't care to ride any
thing but horses for awhile after his steer
was gone, but at last he came to recognise
other steers, and he has now reached the
record Of eleven broken.
81 do Il the same way I would break .
HORSE he says. There's no way to teach
'em to be rode so good az to ride Fem. I Just
get on and hang ON and they buck and kick
like q horse. Most Of .,em are . lot i1glier
than q horse, though. and slower to learn.
| You mustn't mind bumps II you're going tc
ride q steer. That's the best way to kes