davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
Mark Twain on Liberty in Practice.

am so constituted that | want to
give everybody chance. l want to
give the mountebank chance, if you
please. And DO not want to have
any restriction put upon my free Will
when | have that disposition.
About year and half ago in
London I met Mr.. Kelgrin, who I be-
lieve is the most noted practitioner of
osteopathy abroad He calls himself
Mr.. because he has not acquired the
privilege of giving certificate when
patient dies on his hands He has
been practicing in London for twenty
seven years.
My meeting with him was quite by
chance. l heard of him through
friend Of mine whom be had cured Of
dysenteIy after eminent physicians
had failed to give any relief, and after
my friend had been brought close to
the point of death. This friend is
Poultney Bigelow.
Ofcourse, there may have been some
flaw in Mr.. Bigelow's cure, but he
seemed to me to have been restored
to full strength and health, and he
himselfiusisted that he was. thought
he ought to know, though doubtless
our medical friends will not agree with
me on that point.
Now | am always wanting to try
everything that comes along. So |
went to Mr.. Kelgrin, was treated by
him in London, and later on in Swift
zerland, and he did me a lot Of good,
as I thought, although l must admit
that my education doesn't qualify me
to say Just when l am in good health.
But I should like to have the right to
experiment with my own body to my
hearts content. don't care whether
it is to my own peril or anybody else's.
I am not particular about that.
One Of the proposed laws against
osteopathy exempts the grandmother
practitioner As a matter Of fact, we
all know that our population is really
divided in allegiance between two
schools of medicine, the regular ply
sicians and the graudmothers. Now,
all I ask is the same liberty that you
give to the grandmother. The grand
mother has been practicing without
a license as far as the memory Of any
one ofus goes back, and, on the whole,
her success has been such that the
medical profession is willing to have
her continue in practice.
The State stands Gibraltar be-
tween NE and anybody who insists
upon prescribing for my soul what l
don't want to take, and why shouldn't
I have equal liberty with regard to
my body, which Is of so much less con-
cern?
I believe We ought to retain all Of
our liberties. We can't afford to
throw any Of them away They did
not come to US in night, like Jonah's
gourd, if Jonah was the man who had
a gourd. I can conceive just how it
was in the Garden of Eden when the
Lord told Adam he must not eat of
the forbidden fruit. And my own
opinion is that Adam is unjustly crit
icised. I am confident that if any Of
nv tribe had been in the Garden of
Eden when that injunction was served
they would never have contented
themselves with just one apple. They
would have eaten tie whole crop.
Now what l contend Is that my body
is my own, at least, have always so
regarded it. If do it harm through
my experimenting it is I who suffer,
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

not the State. And II l indulge IN
dangerous experiments the State don't
die. attend to that. This disposi-
ton to experiment is an inheritance
from my mother. She wasall the time
experimenting. She bought every pat
ent medicine that came along. Not
that she needed it, but just to see what
effect it would have. But withal she
was cautious. She didn't try the thing
herself first, nor did she just pick out
any one of the flock at random. She
nearly always chose me.
Ican remember well when the cold
water cure was first talked about l
was then years old, and remember
how my mother used to stand me up
naked in the back yard every morning
and throw buckets of cold water on me
lust to see what effect it would have.
Personally, had no curiosity upon
the subject. And then, when the
dousing was over, she would wrap me
up in sheet and then wrap blankets
around that and put me into bed. l
never realized that the treatment was
doing me any particular good physic-
ally. But it purified me spiritually.
For pretty soon after was put into
bed l would get up persPiration that
was something worth seeing. Mother
generally put a life preserver in bed
with me. And when finally she let
me out and unwound the sheet, | re-
member that it was all covered with
yellow color, but that was only the
outpourings of my conscience, just
spiritual Outpourings, and fortunately
it removed all that, so that | am not
troubled with it now.
But am willing to say that some
times my mothers experiments had
such an effect upon me that she was
obliged to call in that ministering
angel with the pills to bring me
around. And l do not bar allopathy
in my experiments now. am willing
to take a chance at that just for old
times sake.
At the time when I lived in the
banner State, Missouri we had rather
primitive society there. We didn't
have the fine distinctions in language
which we now have. To us the word
dispute meant to quarrel. One day,
when was carried out to visit an
uncle of mine l saw a picture in the
house, Christ Disputing with the Doc
tors in the Temple" Now, although
l was the model Sunday school boy Of
our section, l couldn't quite under
stand that. For to my mind to dis
pute meant to quarrel. There was an
old slave in the house, Uncle Ben by
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
Notice !

The undersigned desires to inform the
public that he has Auctioneer's license
for Jefferson and Berkeley counties, and
offers his services to all who expect TO
have public sale Dates may be made
at the REGISTER office. Will cry sales
on percentage or at fixed sum. Charges
moderate. \ share of the public bu,i-
ness is solicited. Six years experience.
JAMES a. LEMEN,
Shepherdstown, w. Va.
Dec. 20, 1900.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

Il don't like your heart action,
the doctor said, applying the stethO-
scope again. "YOu have had some
trouble with angina pectoris.
"You re partly right, doctor" sheep
ishly answered the young man. "Only
that isn't her name.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
J.D.BILLMYER, Trustee.
SPECIAL NOTICE.

Notice IS hereby given that the I'm
dertaking Business conducted by &. W.
Ferrell is and always has been my sole
property c. w Ferrcll has simply been
my business agent and VIII continue
the business as such.
SUSAN c. FERRELL.
Jan. 3l-1901.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

No detention in Hospital for months or
No stopping ofthe bowels for ten to fifteen
DAYS.
No Ether. Chloroform or otner dangerous
auaesthctiCs.
No delays, treatment concluded in three to
five minutes.
NOdeteutiOu from business or pleasure.
80 toTturiug expanding spccuiun.
No formidable array OF assistants.
No heroic dosing with Opiates.
No gaping wounds, unheaied cuts, or stlic-
lures.
No crushing, cutting or burning.
No blood poisoning or PEaemia.
No mCOuGEcuCg of teCcs.
No destruction of the parts.
No lifelong uyailIIsm.
NOSUrgatlOu for weeks.
No discomfort.
NJ I-LLLIn. no don't
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
MOORE BROS, General Agents,
9lS F Street, Washington, D. c.
/. Y. Washing Tablet.

Don't break your back rubbing Make
washing easy by using l. V. Washing
Tablets. The new, easiest and best
Washing Compound on the market Re
stores natural whiteness to clothes that
have become yellow or grayiSh from
hard water or inferior washing com
pounds. Contains no acid and Is not in
furious 10 hands or finest fabrics. sam
pie, enough for four washingS, postpaid
for II cents in stamps. Agents wanted
for the Tablets and Improved Yankee
Fire Kinder
|. V. WASHING TABLET Co,
Harper's Ferry, w. Va
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

Luther R. Marsh, who was an
ardent admirer Of Robert G. Ingersoll,
believes he has had several spiritual
messages from the greal infdel through
the mediumship Of Clarissa J. Huyter,
with whom he boards, in Middletown,
n, Y. The first message was received
several months ago, and was merely
to the effect that there is life beyond
the grave and that death does not end
all. 1t contained also an expression
of regret that be might have influenced
others to unbelief. Later messages
have conveyed the assurances that
throught some miracle all Of the great
umbelieyer's scofings and railiDgs have
been forgiven aud that he has been
received into heaven.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
SPECIAL TAX NOTICE.
Notice to the Farmers.

The undersigned desires 10 inform the
public that he will continue in the busi-
ness Of buying lambs and wool, and will
pay the highest market price for the
same. Will also sell clover seed and
phosphate. Will pay best prices for
live stock. Strictly cash business.
CHARLES g. GETzENDANNER.
Jan. 24, I90l-3m.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

a couple named Newton Lord and
Jennie Helper were married in Tuscola
some days ago and the editor Of the
local paper was almost dubbed to
death by the indignant groom because
he made use Of the heading Lord
Helper.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

$50 he wants to marry you, eh ?"
demanded her father. "Do you know
anything about his means2"
"All | know is that he means TO
marry me, replied the girl.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

Just over the line in Indiana a. J.
Norton runs grocery store, and runs
it as be thinks Christ would run it. "
He will not sell tobacco in any form
or anything that contains liquor. He
will not deliver goods, saying people
should not be too indolent to carry
them home. He marks all bic goods
with their cost price, and sells at
uniform small margin above this.
He refuses to carry any insurance,
saying that if it is the Lords will
that bis store shall burn be is not the
one to stand in the way. He will
not permit profanity in the store.
He has a big trade.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

The West Virginia Oil and Gas
Company has been organized 10 Mar
tinsburg, with Alexander Parks as
president. AS soon as the company
makes some money out Of its property
in the Wood county oil regions it will
sink a well-and probably their mon
ey, too-in Berkeley county.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
Stray Stories.

~hoy SNS''~~'
One night, 20 years ago. Edward |
Wright, son of L. W. Wright, ran
away from his home in MiddletOwn,
Nd, and it was presumed he was dead.
In the meanwhile his sister. his father
and mother all have died. Two years
ago the estate was closed and under
the laws Of Maryland, the absent son
not being heard from for period of
seven years, he was legally declared
dead. His legacy from his fathers
estate was distributed among the 9TH
er heirs. A week ago letter came
TO the Middletown pOstotiice, post
marked Chicago, addressed to Mr.. and
Mrs. L. w. Wright. Both being dead
and none of the family living there
Postmaster Gardner decided to send
the letter to William L. Wright, of
St. Louis, No, brother of the miss
ing man. \ day or two ago Postmas-
ter Gardner received letter from
Edward Wright himself He wanted
to know if his parents were still hv-
ing in Middletown and asked for any
other information the postmaster could
give regarding them Postmaster
Gardner wrote him that his parents
and one sister were dead, that the
property here had been sold, that the
remainder of the family were living
in St. Louis and that the court had
declared him legally dead. The many
friends of the missing mans family
are anxious to learn the reason for his
long and mysterious absence.
J. Pierpont Morgan told Andrew
Carnegie that the latter is now the rich
est man in the world An official OF
the National Tube Company, who has
been in New York in connection with
the big steel deal, brought this news
to Pittsburg. Mr.. Carnegie has final
" retired from the steel business. He
received $l2,5OO,OOO in cash and
holds lien on his stock for five per
cent gold-bearing bonds to the value
of nearly $2OO,O0O,OOO. The liens are
to be surrendered when the bonds are
approved or accepted Arrangements
have been made and accepted by Mr.
Carnegie for the giving o! certain Sc
curities for the sum in case the con-
solidation should ultimately fail. If
this should happen he would be given
new bonds of the Carnegie Company
to the value of bis stock, or $S3, ,0O0,-
600. The balance will have to be
provided in some other way. When
the settlement was made with Carnegie
Mr.. Morgan told the steel king that he
is now the richest,man in the world.
G.. A. Porterfeld, night operator at
North Moustain block, 7 miles west
of Martinsburg, has held the best
record as night operator on B. & Q.
system for the past two years. The
secret Of his success has been dis
covered by his fellow workmen.
About two years ago he captured a
large owl on bic way to work and car
ried it to his office, and trained it to
night work as sentinel. Between
trains Porterfeld would nap, and on
approach Of any trains or engines his
owl would hoot until be awakened,
and if he did not succeed this way, he
would peck bis hands until be awoke.
He has been found out at last, to the
delight of all his brother operators on
the line, as he has been held up as
model by all the oficials.-lIarttnS-
burg News.
ii or u Nil ,rlo ,r.g an
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
BAD BLOOD,
BAD COMPLEXION.

The skin is the seat of an almost end
less variety of diseases. They are known
by various names, but are all due to the
same cause, acid and other poisons in
the blood that irritate and interfere with
the proper action of the skin:
To have a smooth, soft skin, free from
all eruptions, the blood must be kept pure
and healthy. The many preparations OF
arsenic and potash and the large number
of face powders and lotions generally
used in this class of diseases cover up
for a short time, but cannot remove per-
manently the ugly blotches and the red,
&C
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

Never fool with fool, he might fool
you.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
The Rectum, lis importance.

The Ecctum is ONE OF the most important
ORGANS of the body.
Through 10 a large portion OF the waste,
etlcte, and poisonous matter generated In
the system ls expelled.
When tGc functions Oi this organ are inter-
Tered with. these poisonous clements are re-
tanned iu the system, poisoning the blood.
clOggIng the glands. Ifn airing nutrition and
assimilation and eu.euiCIiug diseases that
not only cause great suffering Tut destroy
life.
Disturbed digestion, Gera cement Of the
nervous system, hurumat ism, Neuralgia,
Catarrh, diseases OF iue heart. liver, kidneys,
bIaddrIS, uterus, all these arise from retained
fccaI matter iu the recjum, caused 10y inter-
mai piles, ulcers structures and other causes
that Ubslluct the canal
Ine majority OF these diseases are readily
cured. without cutting, tying or bruislng.
IhoUsauus Of people are daily dying rom
operations bat with my system invariably
the treatment is "a decided success.
l have cured men 50 years old, children TWO
years old.
My system Of treatment causes no deten-
tiOu from business or pleasure.
The old OF HoSpl,a way Of treatment lasts
from one 90 iOur hours whist my treatment
consumes ubuJt NN, minutes.
can furnish the best fetcrences from the
Oldest and D.. st physicians aud druggists oil
tins city. besides huudr. lis of others, VINO
gladly testify as TO my ability.
DR.. Q. n. Whiting,
4Ol y. Eutaw St, Baltimore, Md.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14

A Fresh Stock Of Patent Medicines
Just Received.
SWAMP ROOT
LISTERINE
TERRALINE.
BEEF, WINE X IRON.
SYRUP of FIGS.
Horsford's S Acid Phosphate.
Borolyptol. ,,
Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil.
Fellows Compound Syrup Hypophos-
phites.
Hoods SarSaparilla.
DR.. Kings New Discovery.
TO rid your poultry Of lice use DIR.
Hess Instant Louise Killer; Insect Pow
der.
WE Sell DR.. Hickman's Horse and
Cattle Powder.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Pre-
seriptions piled with accnraCy-H0
su6Stitution-pure, honest IIediriHeS
and BY a Registered Druggist 0H/y.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
GIBSON, Druggist.
BlickenSderfer Typewriter.

Do you want to save an enormous
amount of time, labor and money, and
have your correspondence buSineSS-llkeE
III so buy Typewriter, and before buy
Ing any investigate the BlickCnSderfer.
1t is the ONLY strictly high grade, fully
guaranteed machine at reasonable cost
on the market. Send for Catalogue and
Testimonials.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-03-14
A. S. cambridge & Go.

We wish to call your attention to the
following Popular and Seasonable Goods,
which we now have on exhibition:
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15

Senator Vest of Missouri tells of a
mass meeting once when certain
resolution was discussed for several
hours. Finally one of the delegates
began a speech which wandered all
over creation. Some one interrupted
him with the remark that he ought
TO confine his remarks to the resolu.
tion. YES" said Judge Phillips,
who was presiding, "the gentleman
must speak TO the resolution" LET
us have the resolution read" suggest.
ed some one in the meeting. Judge
Phillips stopped down and whispered
TO the absGnt-minded secretary. "Read
the resolution" he said. "H'm?"
squeried the secretary, waking up;
what resolution" "The one we
have been discussing for several
hours" replied Judge Phillips. The
resolution was hunted for high and
low, but could not be found. On the
secretary's desk there was bit of
paper which looked as If it had been
nibbled by mouse. 1t was all that
remained of the resolution. The alb.
sent-minded secretary had eaten the
rest.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15
The Balky Horse

We are asked how is the best
way to manage balky horse. In tn.
first place we never owned but two
One of these we could always cure
OIL his balky fits by wrapping a piece
OF plug tobacco around his bit. Wher
the weed began to making him fee
sick he would forget his meanness anc
get right down to work all right
The other we let horse jockey have
One thing is sure, it never does any
good to thrash horse for being
oalky. The wise man will try to find
out the cause. 1t may be big load
or tender shoulder or simple fright
Unnameable cruelties are practiced
upon bally horses all over the country
when the law of kindness would ac.
complish much better results. Some.
times one gets hold of a horse with
a naturally sullen and ugly temper.
Not much can be done with this sort
and the sooner one gets rid of them
the better.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15

We have one or two inquiries as ia
the soy bean. This bean is native
of Japan, where it is very extensively
grown as heterogeneous food for the
people, where it helps to balance
their daily ration of rice. 1t grows
with a branching, tree-like stalk to a
height of two or three feet, and bears
small pod containing a yellow waxy
bean which will yield from twenty to
thirty bushels per acre. It takes
about 100 days to mature the bean
from the time of planting. 1t is rich.
er in protein, both foliage and the
bean, than any other crop which can
be grown in the temperate zone. and
as 1t possesses all the soil-fertilizine
qualities of clover, it is plant which
well deserves the attention of all
farmers and stockmen. Cut green and
cured as hay, it will furnish to any
farm the source of protein which will
supplement bran and oil meal. and
enable man to produce on his own
farm completely balanced ration
for all his stock.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15
The Gamma Bed.

A bed of cannas makes very
snowy and attractive lawn decora.
ton and no flowers are easier to
grow and care for. Spade up cir
cular bed on the lawn and fertilize
it literally. II the soil is clayey or
stiff, add two or three wheel-barrow
loads of road sand. Get for a bed
ten feet in diameter, 12 plants OF
your florist, of five or six varieties.
noting what he says as to the height
each variety grows. Set the tall
growing varieties in the center. the
dwarf kinds on the outside of the
bed. Plant after all danger of frost
is over, and hoe and water literally.
A nice finish for the outside of such
a bed is made of foliage plants of the
Coleus family.
The best remedy for lice in the hen
house seems to be to line the build
ing with tarred paper.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15

a friend writes thai he wishes VIC
would write some long articles once
In while on some interesting top
les. Replying. we say that life is
short, the people are very busy and
Will not list, Il to- any writer o..
speaker who is long on words and
short on ideas. Oar friend should
go and hear long-winded parson
or read some of the column editorials
in the daily papers. and for that mat
ter. many Of the articles in the lead
ing agricultural journals, either will
make him sleepy enough. We do not
write to make men snooze, but to
keep them wide awake and set them
to thinking.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15

Men will still keep on sowin
clover this spring on rich land with
a crop of oats when more than one
half the time such sowing of clover
seed is foreordained to be an utter
failure, the heavy oats insuring such
delicate and feeble growth of tie
clover that 1t dies, and at once, when
the oat crop is removed and it is
exposed to the heat OF the August
sun. The surest way to get a stand
of clover is to sow it alone and pas,
ture the field; the next surest is to
SOW it on winter rye; the poorest is
TO sow it with oats.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15
1t is worth noting that eggs. which

1t is worth noting that eggs, which
man cannot very well adulterate, pro.
duced in this country, are steadily
finding an increased export demand
while butter and cheese, the product
OF mans skill, are constantly losing
ground abroad. There is no reason
on earth why the Danes, for instance.
should be able to control the butter
market of England, when these very
same Danish dairymen buy any
amount of our corn, bran and oil
meal for their cows, save the Dane
has built up reputation for making
and selling an honest product, while
American dealers in dairy products
were running splendid market by
working off process butter and cleo
and filled cheese upon customers, who
had every reason to think. we
were at least honest enough to keep
a good market when we had it.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1901-05-15

1t is interesting to note the prin
cipal products of some of the states:
Maine excels in ice and granite; Iowa
In corn and hogs; Minnesota, in lum-
Der and wheat; the Pacific coast
states, in fruit and hops; Pennsylva.
MIA in coal and iron; Ohio gives us
otfice-holders, Kentucky, hemp and to.
bacco; Wisconsin, beer; Michigan,
peaches; the Carolinas, rice and tur-
pentine; Georgia and Alabama, cot.
ton; Alaska, gold and salmon. With
the exception of tea, coffee and some
dyestuffs, and sugar, which we might
just as well produce as not, the Amer.
lean nation is practically independent
OF any other country in the matter OF
supplying all it's wants.