davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Row to Gather.

Laying gathers is time honored opera
ton, as irritating and nerve wearing as
1t Is necessary. Since learning to accom-
plish the same result In a far easier way,
the present writer has taught the knack
to several friends, and all, without excep-
tion, are enthusiastic. Use long strong
needle; that Is, a coarser one than you
would ordinarily use for the work in
hand. Gather the needle full, keeping
the thimble finger at the eye of the
needle, so that no stitches escape on to
the thread. When you can force on no
more cloth, still holding the thimble in
place, with the thumb and first finger
hold the gathers firmly on to the needle
at the point end. With the left thumb
and first and second fingers pull the gath
ers, two or three at a time, straight down
from the needle with a swinging motion,
sliding the fingers under the material and
pulling down with the thumb, beginning
at the left and working toward the right.
When the work is slipped on to the
thread, 1t will be as fat as if each gather
had been painfully Scratched" into
place. The two processes are practically
accomplished In one, and after few
trials and with a little patience you will
never go back to the good old way
Good Housekeeping.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
A Sincere ADOIopy.

At railway refreshment room in Pres
ton one Of the passengers was in a hurry.
please pass me them pertaters, mis-
ter" he said, addressing an elegant gen
tleman who sat next to him.
The latter slowly focused his gold
mounted eyegass on the speaker.
"Did you think | was one Of the wait
ers!" he asked icily.
The others held their knives and forks
suspended in midair, expecting to see
the man shrivel up, but no such phenome-
non took place. He turned and beckoned
TO the nearest waiter.
waiter, come here, please"
"Yes, sir"
81 want to apologize to you, that Is
all. You see, | mstook this party here
for you, but | hope you won't be offend
ed at it. Now pass me them pertaters,
and Wen go on with the dinner. Lon.
don Answers.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
He Certainly Was a Fiend.

The stage was rolling along the can
yon trail when suddenly the horses
reared back on their launches as n
lone highwayman with a Winchester
appeared on the scene.
"Step out Of the hearse, gentlemen,
and hands upw he ordered.
One by one they climbed out, with
elevated hands.
The highwayman relieved the party
and several times was forced to remind
one nervous little man to keep his hand
from his pocket.
What's the matter with you" he
finally roared. You make another
move like that. and I'll pump the slugs
IN you'll"
please let me-" pleaded the little
man as his hand again slid toward his
pocket.
please let your roared the despera-
do. please let you perforate me?
You're imposing on my generosity, SON
ny. Look out Look out. Keep your
NIT away from that pocket, or by the
Eternal
''But 1t won't hurt you" protested
the little man. 1T won't hurt you at
all! Stand just as you are now and
keep your rife leveled. There! That's
itp'
And while the highwayman was re-
covering from his astonishment the lit
tie man had flashed his kodak and
snapped the button.-Indianapolis Sun.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
His C.onJ Wife

lpaster Of the house. He should have
the say in everything.
Mason-How about the naming Of
that baby Of yours?
Gilbert-My wife gave way to me In
a very proper and wifely manner. She
the little fellow 50 long as it was Hen
ry. So that's the name | gave him.
You know | felt, after the hearty man
ner in which she deferred to me,
ought to yield single point merely
out Of appreciation of her humility
Boston Transcript.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Young Ladies', Please note.

The following is a sample OF the wis
On contained in the standard work on
inese feminine etiquette for l.S00
lrs which has just been translated By
5. S. L. Baldwin:
Sitting, don't shake your knees, a com
N fault with men; standing, keep
let your skirts; when pleased, laugh
aloud; when angry, still make no
ise.
All girls should learn woman's work.
follow not your desires just to eat, eat.
% not initiate stupid women who CAD
rut from house to house speaking idle
cds and scandal.
ise at cock crow.
)ress neatly, not showily.
zee that the kitchen and cooking uten-
5 are clean.
Whenever the husband speaks let the
,e give careful attention.
( the husband Is angry, let not the
o be angry also, but meekly yield to
!,
Wash carefully and mend neatly bis
thing; prepare his daily food care
ly lest his body becomes thin and HE
art sorrowful.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
French Bakers.

Bakers in France are subject to re-
stTictiOns and regulations undrcamod
of in England. In the fortified towns
along the frontier they are bound by
law to have a certain stock of -four al
ways on hand in case Of emergencies.
The bakery not only has to be kept
clean, but the baker has to deposit
with the local authorities a certain
sum of money rs surety for the prop
er conduct Of his business.
The law also looks after his weights
and measures, which circumstance
places him in the same position as the
British baker, but in addition the law
regulates the price at which bread can
be sold.
Napoleon III ordered on one occasion
that a loaf about equal to our quartern
should be sold for not more than six
pence, and this at a time when we
were paying cightpencc ana uiucpcnce.
London Tit-Bits.
Queen Victoria and Her Little Artists
When her children were in their short
frock and knickerbocker days, the queen
made them write little daily diary Of
their doings, which she passed upon
nightly in the royal nursery. Often the
youngsters were hard up for "copy" and
used to appeal for help to members
of the household. They repaid their
helpers by giving them sketches made by
themselves, which differed in no way
from the dogs and horses and houses Of
the ordinary child. One of the house
hold, now dead, preserved some 40 or SO
of these alleged drawings, and not long
since an enterprising magazine made his
widow a handsome offer for them. The
queen heard Of this and sent for Lady II.
"plcase do not dispose Of them" her
majesty said. 81 cannot bear to think of
things that have so many tender and
sacred associations passing into hands
other than ours"
1t need hardly be added that the
queens wishes were honorei, and Lady
II. furthermore gave the album which
contained the nursery relics to the mother
Of the little artists.-Success.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
lie Mennt RuainpaH.

A Davenport boy went to New York,
says Success, to solicit a position to
travel for Il wholesale house. He went
five times to one establishment and every
time was told that they did not want to
engage him. He tried to prevail on
them to allow him to make a trial trip,
but to no avail. Finally he proposed to
buy a small stock Of goods. This was
business, and they were ready TO sell
He then went on the road on his own
account and made money, so that when
the firm saw he meant business they
were ready to employ him, and he is now
wealthy, being a member of the firm.
Not a boy in a hundred would have had
his persistence after refusal. There
is nothing like courage or faith as an aid
to success. Another member of that
firm had only II cents when he reached
New York to seek his fortune.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23

Sunbury. lv
Lewist0wn Jc. ar
Pittsburg..... -
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
BUSINESS OF THE SOAKER.
An Expert In PawnbrOking Who Has
His Regular Customers.

In the neighborhood where pawn.
shops abound the soaker fourishes.
The soaker acts as middleman between
the pawnbroker and his customers. He
explains his mission and accounts for
his usefulness thus:
"The people down here employ me"
said he, mot because they are asham-
ed to be seen going into a pawnshop
themselves, but because can get more
for the goods than they can. There's
an art in pawning coat or ring, just
the same as In everything else.
"Ive known people to go into a
pawnshop with some old article to
pawn and to look the proprietor over
with a superciliouS air, as If they con-
sidered themselves so far above him
socially that he couldn't touch them
with n 40 foot pole. Naturally, for
sheer spite, the broker offers them only
about half as much as they would get
If they approached him properly. Hav-
ing had a wide experience of my own,
know how to avoid such difficulties.
/ am not servile, but l am polite and
IGsptClIuls anu dS llOSt lNO
touch the most generous chord In the
brokers' bosom l get all l want on the
proffered chattels.
"As recompense for my services l
charge my customers 10 per cent COM
mission. l have regular customers,
and then, Of course, l do many odd
jobs for occasionals. There are fam
lilies down here for whom l pawn the
same things over and over again, one
week after the other. On pay day they
take their things out of soak. Three
days later they put them in again, and
he next pay day they take them out
again. And so 1t goes, month after
month. l canvass the houses just like
a book agent or corn plaster peddler or
insurance solicitor.
Anything to be pawned todayT l
ask.
And II there is l take ii around to
some shop and raise the necessary
dough and take 1t back and get my
commission. Once In awhile l come
across somebody who abuses me and
calls me a shark, but I'm nothing of
the sort. I'm earning a decent living
at legitimate business."->E~--- -
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
The One Execution.

Towne-He's quite n linguist, | be-
eve.
Browne-Yes, he can converse in ii
ifferent tongues.
Towne-So understand; but there's
ne tongue be has never succeeded In
lastering.
Browne--What's that? Chinese?
Towne-No, his wife's.-Phlladelphla
'reSS.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23

You can tell just as well as a physician
whether your kidneys are diseased or
healthy. The way to dOiS to takea bot
tie or glass tumbler, and fill it with urine.
If there is a sediment "a pOwderllke
subStance-at the bottom after standing
day and night, there IS something
wrong with the kidneys. Another sure
sign of disease is adeSire to urinate often,
and still another sign is pain in the back.
If urine stains linen, there Is no doubt
that the kidneys are affected.
ANY and all diseases of the kidneys,
liver, bladder and of the urinary passag-
es and constipation Of the bowels are cur
ed by DR.. David Kennedy's Favorite
Remedy There is no question about its
being the best and surest medicine in
the world for such troubles. 1t quickly
relieves and cures inability to hold URINE
and people, young or old, who take It
are not compelled to get up a number of
times during the night. For putting an
end to that scalding pain experienced in
passing urine, nothing Is 50 good as DR..
David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy. 1t
corrects the bad effects Of whiskey and
beer; is pleasant to the taste, and does
not seam TO be medicine at all. DiSeaS-
eS OF the kidneys ana the bladder often
require the use of instruments to push
back the sandy matter so the urine can
be voided. In such cases Favorite Rem
edv should be taken without further de-
lay or the disease may prove fatal. It's
sold for one dollar a bottle at all drug
stores. 1t is well worth many times its
price.
Samples Free
If YOU wish to test DIR. David kenne-
dy's Favorite Remedy before buying to
send your full post office address to the
DIR. David Kennedy Corporation, Rond-
out, \. y, and mention this paper. We
will then mail you a sample bottle free,
as well as circulars giving full directions
for its use. Every reader of the Mon
TOUR AMERICAN can depend upon the
genuineness Of this liberal offer and all
sufferers from kidney troubles should
take advantage once of it at
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
A sympathetic Memory.

In q western Massachusetts town
lives a young woman who is blessed
with both discrimination and tact
The first Of these admirable qualities
she has displayed by her two mar
riages. Her first husband was minis
ter, most delightful man. He died.
and after a lapse of five or six years
she was united to his only brother, who
was a successful lawyer in New York.
On her library desk stands a picture
Of the first partner of her joys and Sor
rows, and one day curious caller ask
ed whom the photograph represented.
That" said the hostess, with evi
dent emotion, "is a picture OF my huS-
bands brother, who died eight years
ago and who was very dear to us
both."--Youth's Companion.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
TAKES THE DIFFERENCE
NE.
Through many, many summers

Through many, many summers
look, as through a glass,
And see world OF showers and flowers
And laughing children pass,
And in her big blue sunbonnet
One other little lass
A lass who watched the swallows
Skim just beyond her hand
And where the fickers fed and sped
And nests of hang birds famed
And felt those birds were fairy folk
On wing to fairyland.
In her warm fist she carried,
Trudging Ger hills and dales,
In tiny papers laid and weighed
As il in fairy scales
The salt that catches bobolinks
When sprinkled on their tails.
A little lass and wistful,
Who gazed up the far sky,
And reached for fairy things and wings
In vain and wondered why;
Poor little lass, wonder still,
Could she be really /?
Harriet Prescott Spotford in Collier'A
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
wanted to See Her Minister.

A little girl, the daughter Of a clergy
man, was ailing and had been put to bed
early.
Mamma" said she, 81 want to see my
papa"
mo, DEAR" said her mother; papa is
not to be disturbed just now"
Presently came the pleading voice, i
want to see my papa"
"No," was the answer; 81 cannot dis
turb him."
Then the little parishioner rose to a
question of privilege.
Mamma" said she, 81 am a sick WON
an, and | want to see my minister"'-Ex-
change.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Prepared to Go.

"Now, John" his wife said, gently
pressing him back when he tried to get
up, you must stay in bed today. I've
telephoned for the doctor, and he's
coming right over
"An right" he submissively replied
as she threw his trousers out Of reach,
you'll find my will and the insurance
policies and so forth in that little tin
box in the third drawer of my desk
Chicago Times Herald.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
JINGLES AND JESTS.
Mysteries.

The wise man gazed out into space
And said in measured tones and slow:
"There are some thoughts we cannot traceb
There are some things we may not know.
eve may not know what holds the life
Within the blossom bearing seed
Nor why some people use the knife
When they have gathered round to feed.
''We may not know what sets the glow
In stars that gem the midnight sky
Nor what the merchant folk bestow
In half the things to eat we buy.
''We know not how fate will befal
And bear us low or to the top
Nor deepest mystery Of alb
Just where the car Is going TO stop"
Warrington star.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
A Parliamentary Puzzle.

An Englishman who recently died
lad three children, one son and two
daughters, and he mentioned all Of
hem In his will.
The first clause is, Il leave my piano
o Mary Elizabeth, when Arthur has
lone with it" The other clause IS,
To Susan Jane-she may take what
yer Arthur wishes to give to her"
There is no doubt of Arthur's stand
ng in the document, but the pointed
luestion Is raised, Are Mary Elizabeth
nd Susan Jane benefciaries under the
gfll2
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
The Driver.

The driver whistlcd as he awoke,
And he drove the dust like a cloud Of smoke
He drove the clouds like flock Of sheep;
lie drove the leaves in a hurrying heap;
lie whipped the hats from the passcrsby
And tossed them up till they seemed to Sy:
He drove the rain into level lines
And roared in the tops Of the tallost pines.
He never paused in his greeting rough,
For it seemed he could not go fast enough,
But whore he was going none could say,
Aud all you would hear il you went that way
Was, "Oh, what dreadfully windy day"
Youths Companion.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Once Ours, Now BrItain's.

Do you know, says writer in the
New York Herald, that the British
have one Of our warships tied up at n
dock In London flying the British flag
and regularly commissioned in the
British navy? What is more, she is
called the President, and on her bow is
the figurehead Of John Adams carved
out Of q huge chunk Of American wood
and handsomely gilded. For quarter
Of a century she has been lying at her
present berth near the East India
docks, most of the time stuck in the
mud There is some doubt whether
she would float, and 1t is probably true
that she would go to pieces If sent as
far out to sea as tile mouth of the
Thames. She was captured by the
British In the war Of 1872.
The lines Of the President are still
beautiful She must have been very
handsome ship under sail. Although
one Of the largest ships in the world at
the time of her launch she would be
mere pygmy beside one of the great
warships of the present day. Yet she
is more picturesque even in her present
dismantled condition than the Brook
lyn, Oregon or Kearsargc.
The President Is now used as a drill
ship for the Royal Naval reserves, hav-
Ing been fitted up for this purpose in
1861 at Chatham. Until 1876 she lay
at the City canal, river Thames, and
was then moved to her present berth.
Measuring Your Man.
Put this In your pipe and smoke It:
There is always some chap smarter
than the chap you think is the smartest
on earth-meaning yourself. You are
a wonderful judge of human nature,
but don't measure your man too conf
IDENTITY, for 80 times in 100 you'll find
the suit doesu't fit. Never play favor
ties. The lightweight today, In your
measurement, will be the heavyweight
tomorrow. Old friends, like old wine,
will In the end prove best. Never go
back on an old friend unless you have
plenty Of money well invested. Pos
sessed Of a big bank account and
flushed with success-the mischief take
friends, old and newl-New York
Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Old Soldiers EEnerience,

NJ. NJ Austin. civil war veteran of
Winchester, Ind, writes My wife was
sick long time in spite of good doc
tors treatment, but was wholly cured
by DR.. Kings New Life Pills, which
worked wonders for her health. They
always do. Try them. Only 25c at
Paules & Co.'S drug store
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
An ARront to Cupid.

Daughter, what makes you look so
serious"
"Well, pa, what would you think Of
a young man who took advantage Of
Lent to drop from his customary 81
box Of caramels to a cent bag Of pea
nuts P-Detroit Free Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Just Like n Policeman.

whats the charger" asked the
Judge.
"Impersonating an officer" answered
the prosecutor.
What was he doing"
81 saw him helping himself to fruit
stand."-Chicago Post.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Indispensable Under Circumstances

Minister approaching baptismal font
The candidate for baptism will now
be presented
Mother Of Intended Candidate Qn
perturbed whisper to husband)-There!
/ knew we had forgotten something,
Archibald. Run home quick and fetch
the baby.-Boston Courier.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Precept and Example.

"When you find yourself admitting
slang word or phrase into your vocabu-
larry, young ladies and gentlemen"
earnestly exhorted the professor Of
rhetoric, "cut it out"
Bless his old heart! He thought he
was merely using a striking and ex-
pressive figure of speech. - Chicago
Tribune
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23

In Naples there exists n race of cats
which live in the churches. They are
kept and fed by the authorities on pur-
pose to catch the mice which infest all
old buildings there. The animals may
often be seen walking about among the
congregation or sitting gravcly before the
altar during time Of mass.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
II Saved His T,eU

p A Danforth. of LaGrange Ga,
suffered for six months with frightful
running sore on his leg; but writes that
Bucklens Arnica Salve wholly cured
it in five days For Ulcers Wounds,
Piles, it's the best salve in the world
Cure guaranteed Only 25c. Sold by
Paules q Co. druggist
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Generous.

"Whats your faref' asked old Flint
skin Of his cGbby the other day and
was met with the stereotyped reply:
"Well. sir, | will leave that to you"
"Thank you; you're very kind" said
old f., buttoniHg up his pockets and
walking eff. You're the first person
who ever left me anything yet."-Lon-
don Fun.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
No Easy Job.

"Scuse me, boss" said Hoxey Hi as
he stopped Mr.. Smithers, 81 want to ask
you a question. If | was to offer you 80
bucks a day to do de work I'm doin now,
would you take de jobY
What are you doing now"
"Sleepin in box cars at night an mosey-
in aroun in de cold httin women fer
hand outs in de daytime. Would you
take de job at 30 cases"
"No, indeed! Why do you ask"
ooh, some cheap plug back dere jist
asked me why l don't work. Indian
apols Sun.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
why His Life Was n Failure.

Yes, | consider my life failure"
oh, Henry, how sad! Why should
say thatT
I spent all my time making money
)ugh to buy food and clothes, and
food disagrees with me. and my
thes don't fit."-Life.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
From an Authors Notebook.

The following IS an extract from the
diary of an impecunious author: Rose
at 5 and had n sonnet and a glass of
cold water for breakfast. | retired ear
" in the evening without supper as
feared the npighborS would be annoyed
by a.. raItl:u- OF tie knives and
fork Atlanta Constitution.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
SafefY.

81 wonder why that shoplifter always
wears a rainy day dress?"
"To prevent any one from getting on
her trail. .'-Chicago News.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Family Pride.

Il suppose you take great deal Of
pride in your business"
NO" anwered Mr.. Cumr0X. 81 used
to take pride in my business. but ma
and the girls don't approve Of it. The
only thing we take pride in now is my
daughters husbands pedigree. Wash
ingtOn Star.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
CHILDREN'S COLUMN.


Hattie Plough, who is only Q years OF
age, sent the accompanying picture and
little letter to the Brooklyn Eagle In
her letter she said:
"Thcse are my two cousins and their
pet dog. They are fixing him to the lawn
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Popular Song.
Not Unprecedented.

"Here is a story about a man who
worked for 81 years without ever taking
q day off"
HIM! That's nothing. He was prob
ably the proprietor of the establishment"
Chicago Times Herald.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
An ArtfuI BeERaP.

Miss Believe-Beggars are all frauds.
1 met a blind man yesterday who said,
please gimme penny or two, lovely
lady"
Miss Behave-Yes. He said that to
make you think he was really blind
Chicago Chronicle.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Late AnOIGGieS.

Lady-Do you remember, professor
that % years ago when we took dane
ing lessons together you stepped on
my toe, almost causing me to faint?
Professor-Oh, yes. | beg thousand
pardons.-Meggendo BIatter.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
Classic.

He-Which do you prefer, Homer or
Virgil?
She-Virgil.
He-Why?
She-Didn't he begin the ENID"
with something about arms and the
nan?-Syracuse Herald.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
A Travellers Opinion,

Mrs Quizzer (who wants to know ev-
erything)-Now, what do you consider to
be the most curious thing you ever saw,
professorf
Professor Trotter-A woman, madam
-Harlem Life.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-05-23
A Homeless CnSe.

"After years Of effort | have sue
ceeded in learning how to pronounce
Goethe"
"Well, are you satisfied now"
"No; every time | say it somebody
corrects me."-ChicagO Record.