Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1901-07-10


 sleep. Half an hour later they were reused by a furious ringing at the front door. The Fond Father rushed to the door in his bath robe and opened it. There stood the janitor of the building in scanty apparel with a chemical fire extinguisher strapped to his back.
 Whats on fire in your fiat?" he said. Everybody in the building has been smelling smoke for an hour and we've finally traced it down here"
 The Fond Father smiled weakly and said he supposed it was new cure for whooping cough they had been trying which had caused the trouble. He was sorry if the other tenants had been disturbed.
 Next morning when he got up he had slight tickling in his own throat, due, no doubt, as he conclud- ed, to the effects of the tar vapors of the night before. But the tickling did not leave him during the day. In fact, it was worse when he got home that night. After dinner he even coughed a little. Then an awful thought struck him.
 "Whooping cough is exclusively a child's disease, isn't it?" he asked his wife. srtlessly.
 70, mo-" she promptly answered. ''When had it my father caught it from me, and I remember he almost coughed his head of before it was cured"
 He spent the next two or three days in trying to prevent himself from coughing while at home, though on the streets and downtown he gave free vent to unmistakable whOops. Finally, he confessed to his wife, and then he felt free to add his deep bass whoops to the treble explosions of the Child. Shortly 1t dawned upon the Fond Father that whooping cough was not a joking natter He coughed sometimes till he was purple and black m the face, and finally, in shame and despair, he called one evening at the doctors office.
 Doctor" he began, "I think I'm going to die. T."
 A spasm of coughing seized him just then, and he gave demonstra- tion in the whooping line which was strong and convincing.
 70, whoopiEg cough is just joke. you know" said the hard-hearted physician. "It does a boy good to have it."
 But the Fond Father was beyond feeling any insult. He begged for something to help his cough, and finally he got it. Then things went on a little more easily for a few days. Finally it got SO that if either the Fond Father or the Child com menced to cough in the presence of the other the second invalid would immediately start whooping as if in sympathy.
 But not even yet had the climax ar rived. It was when the recent corn corner was at its height and the Fond Father had accumulated a fair ly large line of the cereal, which he was waiting to sell at big advance. One night he got tip" that the corner would be broken the next day. He went down to the board the next morning prepared for action. He knew that he must dispose of his stuff in the first few minutes of the session if he wished to clean up the handsome profit which he had on pa per. Finally business began in the corn pit, and he plunged into the thick of it. The first sales showed that the price was still at the top notch. and he determined to unload without a moments delay. The king of the corner had just sold 5O.000 at the top. and everything seemed propitious. His hand was raised and he was about to shriek out his offer when he felt that terrible tickling in his throat He crushed it down with a mighty effort.
 "One hundred thou"
 The cough seized him in its re- mOrseless grip. He bent over nearly double with the paroxysm. The other frantic brokers pushed and showed him out of the way. He stood on the bottom step of the pit and whooped for a solid minute. In the babel of voices the sound of his coughing was entirely swallowed up and lost. He could hear, even as he shook and strained with effort, the pit break out into a fresh riot of confusion. The corner had broken. Corn had dropped IS cents in two minutes. The Fond Father was barely able to save his distance by letting go his holdings at the low figure.
 The family has now recovered its normal condition of health. But lit- tie Charley is now being reared on the sheltered and protected" policy, while the Fond Father sees nothing approaching humor in jest about the diseases of children.-Chicago Trib- une.
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