Waterbury Democrat., 1901-04-23
A STRANGE FUNERAL.

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 A New York undertaken, who has just returned from assisting at the fu- neral of a rich owner of coal mines in Pennsylvania, tells of a strange fu- neral service which the old mans wid- ow arranged.
 Tt is hardly the place for an un- dertaker to tell newspaper stories" he said, but I'll have to break the rule in this case. The widow wanted to give tone to the funeral and had the country undertaken send to New York for ain assistant There was really nothing for me to do, as the country undertaken was not satisfied unless he did everything himself. He followed the caslSet down the aisle carrying the hats of six of the paIl bearers on his right arm. There were felt hats and derbys, and one badly battered silk hat in the lot. He made them wait until he had unwound long, black muff1er, which he wore around his neck. He folded it up carefully and placed it across the altar rail. Then he bowed very low as a signal that they might set their burden down. He squinted along the side of the casket to see that it was straight, and had them change 1t little on finding 1t out of line. Then he bowed each man to his seat and bent low before the minister as signal that the Ser- vice might begin.
 'The widow had planned mostelab- crate service, h which three country ministers were to take part. One was a pastor of the church. who preached the regular sermon. The second was young minister, who was visiting tn the little town and who read comfort ing passages from thc Bible. The third was the former pastor, m old man almost in his dotage, who was to call the attention of the audience to the many fine points of the dead man. The service was more than an hour old when the old gray-haired minister began. After .devoting fifteen minutes to glfttering generalities, he began to get personal.
 s"'Our late departed brother was great lover of fast horses, he said Tn fact, he owned some of the fast est horses in this part of the world. He was always. good about pickins up anyone along the road. One day he says to me, Brother Miller, come an, take a ride.'' He took me to q race track and all the while we were there I noticed he never took his hand out of his coat pocket. t.Why did you do that?'' I asked Because I've got $5,OOO in there" Now don't that show how careful he was?
 Three or four similar characteris- tics were illustrated in the same way and at great length. X Then the old minister started in to tell about the dead mans first wife. He praised her for almost half an hour, to the great discomfort of the widow, who was ln a pew just below him.
 ..sAnd there sits his second wife he said finally. believe he was just as fond of her.
 By this time the service had been going on more than two hours, and the people were beginning to get nervous. I noticed one old man who was fret ting in his seat. Finally the minister paused, and the old man Jumped to his feet. :. I feel called upon to say some thing right here,s he began. Brother Miller means we'll enough, but I don't believe In goin gainst the wishes, of the dead. George always said before he died that he didn't want no fussin' an feathers about his bnrryin' All be wanted was a prayer an 9 hymn, .anlg then tosbe siaid away as quick as It strikes me that this here business has gone far enough, an'that it's time to begin the buryin' ;. <
 1.-The widow looked daggers, the minister was speechless and the situ ation became very strained before the choir leader recovered enough to start the closing hymn. lew York Fri 9bune ssSssisss stl < sts4@ ss 9'F