The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1901-10-18

" NIX ---'sa--ara- -
1t takes only one generation to ,"
make a gentleman.-Life. ~
"Pa, what is a pre-glacial MANS
"Why, man before he had to pay Ice
bills, Of course. detroit Free Press.
"But the gown doesn't fit" insisted
the patron. "That," replied the mo-
diste calmly, lis because you are not
made right"-Chicago Post.
Wigg-"S Scientists claim that all veg
citation has gender" Wagg-"Of
course. Even a bed has gender Didp'ta'
you ever hear of a boycott|
Intended-"Well, Tommy has
mother told you of my good fortu1
Tommy-"NO. She only said she W
going to marry yOuW-Punch.
Those who have lots of money
Are often in trouble about it,;
And those who haven't a cent
Are often in trouble without it.
Chicago News.
Mrs. Goodsale-"To what do You at
tribute your appetite for strong d1epl?
Is it hereditaryY Wragson Tatt' s.
mo, lady; it's thirst "-Phllad9 hia
Press.
young man." exclaimed her father,
with emotion, do you think you can
keep her in golf balls at the rate she
has been accustomed to losing them?"
Puck.
The bookkeeper who had worked
twelve hours a day for thirty years
paused to look at the captivity, Ell a
canary. How pathetic? h ex-
claimed.-Life.
"Im thinking of doing a little specu-
lating," said the lamb. whats the
best thing to put your money inY
"a safe deposit vault" replied the old
bird.-Philadelphia Press.
ut seems strange to hear you speak
so bitterly of him. You used to SAY
you admired him for the enemies, he
has made" Eyes, but I'm oneN Of
them, now."-Philadelphia Press.
With all the wealth at his command,
Alas! he had no family tree
He bought dog, then killed it and
Thus swiped the CANNES pedigree -
Philadelphia Record
Mrs. Black - "Am Lucy Jackso5
husband able to go to wuck yit?
Mrs. Johnson-"De docktah say he
am, but he say he am only jes' well
enough to inj'y loafn'." Brooklyn
Life.
Van Croke-"But, my dear fellow,
you can't afford to marry a girl like
Ruth Richling." Van Broke-"On Z e
contrary, old man, 1 can't afford
marry any other girl" - Town ana
Country.
II am suffering from brain-fag,
doctah," said Saphelde. 'Fish is good
fob that, isn't it?" every good" re-
piled the doctor. Suppose you begin
with a medium-sized whale every
morning with breakfast"
us Mickey in condition.? "Hegs as
fine as silk. All, Mickey's a greatkboy.
He's got something up his sleeve that'H
asstOnish all thin other buffers"
What is it, Mister Doolan" It's
his ar-r-rm. "-CIeveland Plain-Dealer.
Visitor-"So you weigh roo pounds?
Doesn't 1t annoy you to have people
comment on your sizeY' Fat Man
"Oh, no! If I wasn't worried to death
with fool questions maybe I'd weigh
1000 pounds. - Chicago Record Herr
aid.
HE speaks of making Roadway Ia
the teeth of the gale, remarked the
editor. "Falsep said the yachting cor
respondent, who knew there had not
been even a ripple. "Ah, then 1 win
put it the false teeth Of the gale. y
Philadelphia Record.
1T is sad to see this mercel3ary
spirit so dagrantly manifested inSpol-
ities," said the earnest citizen. "Ees, y
answered Senator Sorghum. 81 have
fought against it all could, but its
no use. 1 can't get people to vote lmy
way without payin' EN- Washing
ton Star.
I'm ready" shouted the spe Ter
ito meet calmly any emergency Thai
may arise" At this moment the pfat
form collapsed, and the speaker exlAib
tied great perturbation. How ahout
that oneT they asked him ldt ter
. "That one did not arise" be repIA ID
mournfully.-Tit-Bits.