The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-10-15
Axxxsxxxxxwxxx xxx x xx sass,s,
Letters to The Editor.
THE COLONEL.

Editor The Advertiser:
 The man who of right wears that title | Is one who commands or has commanded with commission from the government authorizing him to do so. a regiment of ten or twelve companies of soldiers. A Lieutenant Colonel is the next officer in rank below him and commands in the abserce of the Colonel, just as Lieuten- ant Governor Is next below the Governor, and when he is absent exercises the func- tions of Governor. In the absence of the Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel the Major. who is the next lower officer in rank, commands the regiment. In Europe, especially in England. that highly cultivated people, never give any of these or other titles in writing or speaking to any man unless 1t Is in fact his rank. To give persons titles to which they are not entitled. is considered vulgar and an evidence of ill-breeding. But here in the United States it is popular to sling titles around so promiscuously that the negroes have adopted 1t and one may hear the names of Colonel Toby Dick Townsend, Colonel Tom Squash Johnsing and Colonel George Washington among that race.
 All that Is necessary to fasten the title of Colonel on any one, is for some little ten by twelve inch weekly news paper to call a man Colonel" a few
 
 scribe and pay a dollar a year for the paper and the subscriber is henceforth and forever ""Colonel," whether he ever wore 4 shoulder strap or had any kind of title makes no kind of difference. Brigadier General is the next highest military title, but it is nowhere compared with Colonel in the estimation of cur people of limited learning
 The ordinary hoosier in the country Is just as apt to call a man who was in fact Colonel, Mister or Major as to call him by the title he actually won But Colonel Is generally understood by the inexperienced in military affairs to be the highest title of responsibility that any man can have. If that title ever gets stuck on to a man you may actually pro- mote him to Brigadier General Major General or Governor, and yet he is Colonel still. Even when he Is com manding a Brigade of soldiers, to his earlier hoosier acquaintances he is but a Colonel still. Should you be Major General in command of 5000 or 10000 men. the hoosier calls you Colonel" all the same. Should you after the war be elect ed Governor of your State, after your election and qualification, when you are feeling a just pride at having been ele- cated to the highest honor that your State can confer, then come in contact with your old friends and you will be greeted by them with Hello, Colonel am glad to see you" You are at once made to feel that you are mistaken. that you have not been elevated in rank, but are at a standstill. Your fellow citizens recognize you only as "Colonel" not withstanding your honors.
 In Rome whenever a notably mean event transpired the spot is marked by the erection of a church thereon. At the foot of Pompey's Pillar where Caesar expired at the hands of his assassins, they erect ed a church. The custom among us is that whenever a man acquires notariety by mean conduct he at once becomes a Colonel" A few years ago a respecta- ble man proclaimed himself a Republican in a county where all the Republicans were negroes. He made the change to get elected to the office of sheriff and | succeeded, and was at once a Colonel and has been so called ever since. In another case a lawyer embedded lot of money belonging to his clients and was discharged in disgrace and the news papers at once gave him the title of Colonel by which he will ever be | known. l In Georgia all the lawyers now are "Colonels," and the one exception are l Judges over there or at least this was 1 the case until recently, but all that we have heard of within the last few years
 
 the South every old farmer whether he has been to the "Legislature' or not if he possesses more property than any of his neighbors and his prominent abdomi- nial protruberances is a Colonel sure, and to fall to call him by that august | military title Is absolutely offensive although he does not know right face | from left face, and never smelt gum powder in his life unless he shot a squir- rel sometime when he was a boy, but he is "Colonel' all the same notwith- standing his girth and unsoldierly figure.
 Mark Twain relates that when leaving on a Mississippi steamer there were 300 men at the wharf, and as the steamer showed out into the stream, while he did not know a man in the crowd pulled of his hat and waiving it cried aloud Goodbye Colonel' and that 275 of the 300 acknowledged the adieu, each man thinking that he was the particular in- dividual addressed as Colonel" There are now no Leutenants. no Captain, no Majors and only few Generals living, they are all "Colonels."
 Corrector,