davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

started after the hack-number Matrons.
He went to the highest Episcopal
Church in Town. took a front Seat and
tried to drown the Choir. After ser
vices he was in the Vestry shaking
hands with every one mentioned in the
Blue Book.
AS soon as the Church gave a Chart
ty Bazaar, he jumped in and did all
the Work, told every Lady that her
Booth was the prettiest and made him
self indispensable. He became a Vol
unteer Messenger Boy for the Women
who have the Currency and the Pull,
but who are not ordinarily pursued by
the Young Fellows. Every time one of
them whistled, he came ON a Run and
he knew he was playing Understudy
to several grumpy old Husbands and
getting in on Theater Parties and Din
ners to beat the band.
He was in Society. sure enough He
didn't play for Meal once Week.
He drank Wealthy Water right out
of the finest Ice-Boxes in town. One
nice Old Lady had induced her Hus-
band to give him a better Position. He
wore Violets and pearl colored Gloves
and he had what Doctors call En-
largiensis of the Coco.
He had won his Bet and the former
Acquaintance of the Stag Party sent
word that he was ready to stand the
Supper, but the Real Thing sent back
Word that he could not afford to meet
Chaps who were not in his Set.
MORAL: The Girl-Proof Man is Of
ten Hit in the Old Ladies' Home.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

Trouble with the Machinery. Pop eyed
their Arms were doing the Yale. Vault
over the Front Fence and piking for
the Grand Stand. $685.
The Man buttoned up his Coat and
began to bowl over white haired Nvc-
men and slender Girls with Studio
Hair He gnawed his way into the
thick of the Crowd His Ticket called
for one Good Look at one Genius and
one Cup of Tea. and he was there TO
Collect After a while he succeeded in
butting his way into a Cosy Corner.
where the Smilax was thickest.
There stood 8 Thin Man. He was at
Bay. He wore~a. Herbert Kelley Suit
and frozen Smile. Eight large, strong
Females had beaten down his Guard
and fought him to the Posts and they
were telling him, all at the same time,
how much they had enjoyed his Book.
There was a look of Mute Appeal on
that White Face as if to ask, "oh,
why did the Publisher come down into
the Country and dig me up?"
He had just the same chance that a
Sheep has in Packing House.
The Man went home and all through
the Night he saw that Wan Face lift
ed in pale Supplication. So he got up
and burned his Manuscripts.
IF I publish the blamed Stuff and
it goes, may be up against the same
Combination he said.
MORAL: If a Man could write for
Posterity and collect his Royalties in
Advance 1t would be Fine Business.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

Specially being to make a Pun on
somebody's Name. The Mental Strain
of making Puns was too much for
the small wad of Gray Matter remain
ing, so he had Inflammation of the
Oakum, complicated with Paresis,
Hysteria and Emotional Dementia.
They had to take him away to the
Wheel House and put him in an uphol-
stored Room. He was without Means
and the Future seemed dark indeed
until it was discovered that, when pro-
vided with Pen and Paper, he could
write Sentimental Songs of the kind
warranted to make a Hired Girl weep
and sell 100000 Copies.
Then the Warden remembered hav-
ing read in a Book somewhere that
Insanity and Genius are closely allied.
MORAL: If you don't believe it, read
some of the Songs.
THE MODERN FABLE OF THE
MAN WHO CRAWLED UNDER
THE TENT AND THEN STAY
ED FOR THE CIRCUS.
One Evening a cynical Person was
sitting at Stag Party throwing Rocks
at Fashionable Society He had no use
for the Elite. He said that any White
Man who had two or three changes OF
Raiment and a Medium Nerve could
work his way into the Inner Circle, if
he would set out to do it and attend
closely to his Knitting.
IF I cared to pull the Wires and
give the Time to 1t, I could be right
in the Front Row of the Rowdy- Bows
within six months he said.
This boastful Crack was ridiculed, so
he offered to wage a Supper for the
Party that he could Land. He was
snapped up and started out to win the
Bet.
Little Willie the Fox Immediately
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

| a card cut from a sheet of cardboard.
Each card should have wee dance
pencil attached to it with bebe ribbon.
Now have all the company blindfoId
themselves with handkerchiefs or
scarfs. At given signal all begin
to draw without removing the band
ages. The drawing is made upon the
cards with the little pencils provided.
me subject announced is THE
thanksgiving Turkey" Each PLAYER
endeavors to draw an excellent picture
OF the November bird without being
able to follow the strokes of his men
There are no restrictions as to the
manner of representations. The fowl
may De shown strutting proudly
through the barnyard. or served
brown and smoking amid the parsley
ana cranberry sauce of the Thanks
giving dish. Each artist signs his pfc-
ture with his own name. At the end
OF five minutes the cards are collect
ed by the director and bandages re-
moved. A committee Of three persons
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

he had played. In little while the
News would get around that he had
his Clothes Tined with Velvet.
About the time he would arrive at
his Office and square away at the
Morning Mail, an Acquaintance who
was in a Hurry would bound in and
tell how much he needed for a couple
of Days. BY strange Coincidence he
always named the exact Amount that
Mr.. Blow had been flashing.
After this had gone ON for a while,
the Man who was getting the swift
Touches bought himself a large card
board Motto, reading Silence is Gold
en-"
Now, when he goes into Game and
Taps somebody he takes the Easy
Money and fastens it into his inside
Vest Pocket with a Safety Pin. And
when he is asked how he came out, he
does a Stretch and says, "Oh, about
Even"
MORAL: No man ever saved Money
by showing it in a Crowd.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
A THANKSGIVING TURKEY PARTY
Some seasonabIe Fun simply AR.
ranged.

Some Seasonable Fun simply Ar
ranged.
OF course you are planning a party
for Thanksgiving day. The guests
who assemble for that tremendous din
ner event on Nov. 80. must be enter
tanned in some novel fashion during
the afternoon or evening. W
But novelties in Thanksgiving en-
tertainments are sometimes hard to
find. The young people who have not
yet discovered quite as bright a
scheme as they would like may care
to know about the new idea of tur-
key party.
The entertainment consists Of a Sc
ries of good games, all OF them found
ed upon the name turkey, which will
sometimes during the evening stand
for the Thanksgiving fowl. and some
times, in a punning way, for the coun-
try of the Turk, etc.
The fun begins with rousing game
called the great Turk-he. For this n
huge turban is made OF newspaper.
and lots are cast to decide who will
hrst wear It. The person TO whom the
chance falls then dons the cap, and Is
known as his sublime highness the
great Turk-he. The Turk-he marshals
all the company into a half- circle be-
fore him. and takes up his position
facing them. He begins at once to
put questions 10 his subjects. This
he does very rapidly. and following no
order whatever In the questioning. The
rule OF the game DEGREES that II the
Turk-he asks a question In which the
words and. II, why. will or won't. one
or all Of them figure, the subject re-
mains silent. II the sentence contains
none o. these words the subject ~
obliged 20 answer Immediately. The
excitement OF the game consists IN the
rapidly with which the questions are
put, and the necessity OF answering
without much reflection, Any player
who fails 20 answer when he should,
or who answers when he should not. r.
obliged 10 perform some ludicroue feat
BY order 81 the 'Turk-hs.
&or the neat game Eiye each playef
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

tained-but, in fiction, he is a charac-
ter to spend a few minutes with them
one tires of a long novel or a more
serious work of fact. The author, Mr..
Henry NJ, Hyde, has made a real hero
out of One FortyTwo in some of the
stories: in most of them the messen-
ger boy plays a good part modestly
hidden under the usual frailties of his
craft.
Around the personality of favorite
authors, there hangs a glamor; the
least detail of their lives, methods of
work, amusements, personal peculiari-
ties and so on, are eagerly sought.
Doubtless in response to just this sort
of curiosity-and a most legitimate
curiosity it is-are published such
books as American Authors and Their
Homes" and Little Pilgrimages
Among Men and Women Who Have
Written Famous Books" The former
volume is a beautiful book however
awkwardly I have said it), for it has
included half tones of photographs of
the homes of every author whose
sketch appears. The subject matter
has not, perhaps, included as much
personal data as an admirer would
care TO read of his favorite author,
but the volume fills its purpose of CIV
ing a brief glimpse into the home life
of many faVorites. The Little Pill
grimages Among Men Who Have
Written Famous Books" although IL
staggers under its long title, is like
wise a valuable volume OF this kind.
II Is worth while. this getting ac-
quainted with the men who have writ
ten great books, though the list OF au-
thors included In the volume may
seem longer than il applicable 10 just
that term. 1t is a good book TO read
and 70 keep. Later on the publishers
promise a similar acquaintance with
the women who are worthy Of a like
cataloguing in fame's gallery.
Herbert Brewster.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
ASTHMA CURE FREE!
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Cure in All Cases.
SENT ABSOLUTELY FREE ON RECEIPT OF POSTAL.


There is nothing like Asthma
lene. 1t brings instant relief, even
in the worst cases. 1t cures when all
else fails.
The Rev c. F. WELLS, Of Villa
Ridge, ILL.,. says: Your trial bottle of
Asthmalene received in good condl-
ton. I cannot tell you how thankful
feel for the good derived from it.
was a slave, chained with putrid sore
throat apd Asthma for ten years. l
despaired of ever being cured. I saw
your advertisement for the cure of this
dreadful and tormenting disease, AS
thma, and thought you had overspoken
yourselves, but resolved to give it a
trial To my establishment, the trial
acted like a charm. Send me full
size bottle"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
Rev. DIR. Morris wech.ler.

Rabbi of the Cong. Bnai Israel.
New York, Jan. 3, 1901.
Drs. Taft Bros Medicine Co.,
Gentlemen: Your. Asthmalene is an
excellent remedy for Asthma and Hay
Fever, and its composition alleyiates
all troubles which combine with AS
thma Its success is astonishing and
wonderful.
After having 1t carefully analysed,
we can state that Asthmalene contains
no opium, morphine, chloroform or
ether Very truly yours,
REV. DIR. MORRIS wECHSLER.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
Jump he laid back his Ears and squat

Jump he laid back his Ears and squat
ted.
Sometimes he thought he would do
it by Phone, but he knew that Central
might be on the Line. He had written
good many Letters with Darling
played up in every Line, but after he
read them over they were so very
Charlotte Russo that he tore them up.
He knew what he ought 10 do, all
right enough. His work was mapped
out and to one who never braced So
ciaI Favorits the Asking Business is
Soft.
When one sits back on a 50 Pad in
the Parquette and sees James K.
Hackett tear off a Love Scene, the
whole Thing looks like Money from
Home. 1t is just as easy as signing
the book for something that it waiting
to be delivered. Every Clothing Sales
man in the House thinks that he could
crouch on a Rug and sing the same
Song. But when he finds himself in
a Private House and 1t is up to him
to advance the Ball or get off the
Field, he falls down and steps on him.
self.
The Youth to whom we have referred
had started in IS different times to
submit the Lifts Risk to her and every
time his Storage Battery had failed
him and left him stalled on the first
Grade.
One Evening he said he would Spring
1t on her If he had to take a Pencil
and write it on the Wall. When he
arrived at the House he met one of
her School Friends, who had come on
for Visit And when Miss Friend
looked him in the Eye and beckoned
him to the Sofa, he realized that there
is such a thing as being too Hasty.
The Friend overpowered him and
carried him to the Altar, which suited
him exactly. But he never knew that
the First One had sent for the Friend.
Moral: Faint Heart has saved many
a Fair Lady.
THE MODERN FABLE OF THE
MAN WHO ACQUIRED WISDOM
AT THE USUAL MARKET
PRICE.
Once there was a Man who acted as
Teller for a Poker Club His Job was
to meet People and Tell how much he
had won. He could draw the Long Bow
better than he could draw Cards. If
he quit anywhere to the Good he
would convert his Currency into 81
Bills and go out and Fan his Friends
with it, and tell what a purity Game
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
Dr. W, N. Van Brsderuds's
ISFALLIBLE CURE ron
Malaria, ChlIIs, Fever and Agus,

IL makes you strong. II gives you
an appetite. II makes your work
easy. II has reputation and Is IN.
dorsed BY thousands who have used il
Malaria vanishes before lt like dew.
drops before the morning sun. Try 1,
ana you VIII be convinced. Made only
IN the laboratories Of The Or. w. NJ
Van Brederoee Company.
LIPPAAb BROS AEsnfs.
Savannah. ca.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

A Youth who had the Love Microbe
all through mis- System was trying to
marry Girl without letting her know
anything about it. He was dead will
ing to Hook Up and the sooner the bet
ter, but he was afraid to undertake a
Proposal for fear he would Tumble.
Every time he came up to the High
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

-Downes. the family seat OF Sir
Redvers Butler, near Creditor, IA one
o. the most beautiful ola places IN
DevOnahire and ls allied with trophies Of
the Generals campaigns. one Of these
IL q collection 81 wonderful cioisonne
enhmels taken from the Summer Pal
ace AZ Picking.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
The Chatham Bank


LEOPOLD ADLER, President.
G. S. ELLIS, Vice President.
JOHN II. DILLON, Cashier.
BARRON CARTER, Asst. Cashier.
solicits the accounts of inSiviSu-
ais, firms, banks, associations aDd
corporations.
Liberal favors extended to cor.
responding banks, as our unsur.
passed facilities for collecting in
sure prompt returns.
BUYS AND SELLS FOREIGN EN-.
CHANGE, WRITES LETTERS oR
CREDIT AND ISSUES BANK MONEY
ORDERS PAYABLE IN ALL PARTS
OF EUROPE.
Interest compounded quarterly or
deposits in the SAVINGS DEPART
MENT.
Safety Deposit boxes and Vault.
for rent.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

The Crown Prince Of Portugal. un-
like most princes, has not been drilled
IN military tactics and knows little o.
nOthinE even 81 cTeaTmk
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
DON'T GET MALARIA

Don't get run down. Keep up your an.
petite. Keep up your strength. Don't
get malaria. Take
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

Taft Springs N " FEB Sol.
OF
Asthmalene for the cure OF asthma my
nayow CHANGED to your
obtained bottle
the
all
all afflicted with TINS
respectfully ODD PHELPS NJ y.
81
Twas
the best Of health and am do
testimony
adore Rivington
129th St, York City
Do not delay Write once addres sing
City,
Sold by All Druggists. s~s.s-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

II MObIfhN AbAE Or AK
TWO FAVORITES AND THE
USUAL COMBINATION.
In Small City there was a Girl
who was a Rallying Cry among the
Men, but a Target for all the Feminine
Spite. She was a Mans Woman, and
that is why her own Sex never got
tired of using the Hammer when her
Name came up. She could give six
Callers her undivided Attention all at
the same time and be a Good Fellow
every minute. So, of course, she was
a bold little Mink.
In this same Town there was a Boy
who was Aces and Fights with the
Girls, but when any Man heard the
Name he made the Sign of the Upper
Cut and said, I'm a Minute The
Males had no use for one who could
discuss Tatting and who said. 'Oh,
Fiddle!" when he was Provoked.
AT every Opportunity the Men would
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

A feeble minded Young Man stood
looking up at a New Building one Day
when a Hold of Bricks came down and
got him. When he was poked into the
Ambulance. his Dome was perforated.
At the Hospital they removed num-
Der of Brain Lobes that had been
mussed up and had Grit in them They
packed in Oakum to fill the Cavity.
The Young Man recovered and soon
was able to attend Parties where he
scored heavily as a Comic, his great
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

: Mr.. George w. Gable has waited
long time in writing. and the public
has waited a longer time for the read
ing of his last book. THE Cavalier"
was bound to be a worthy product of
full literary experience. It's author
had already gained a world wide fame
because of the beauty of his work. and
ilotS the least claim to fame was his
ehaFm of presenting his writings on the
lyceum platform. Those who have
heard him read any of his stories will
not soon forget their pleasure in him.
Mr.. Gable fought on the Confederate
side OF the great struggle which his
book depicts, SO he knows the subject
quite as thoroughly as he did in the
case of his former successes. THE Cav
alier" is one of the best books of the
season and it is achieving a. consider
able circulation. 1t is gratifying to re-
cord so worthy a success in these days
of advertising and puffery sales.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
THE GERMANIA BANK

SAVANNAH, GA.
Capital OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 500, 900
OQQlV1QeQ pTOIllS "a UU0
This bank offers it's services to cor
porations, merchants and individuals.
Has authority to act as executor ad-
ministrator, guardian, etc.
Issues drafts on the principal cities
in Great Britain and ireland and Oh
the Continent.
Interest paid or compounded quarter
ly on deposits in the Savangs Depart
ment.
Safety boxes for rent.
HENRY BLUM, President.
GEO. W. fT1EDEMAN, Vice President
JOHN NJ. HOGAN, Cashier.
WALTER F. HOGAN, Asst. Cashier.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

Julia Ward Howe, who has passed
her SOD birthday, was persuaded
not long ago to write one
of a series of articles on childhood of
many years ago. The articles were
to be. in a way, photographed. I'm
fortunately. the editors announcement
was more rhetorical than accurate and
the distinguished author of uncle
Toms Cabin" showed a vigorous COM
mand of her faculties by writing.
For PHYS sake, don't advertise my
article as MY Childhood Eighty Years
Ago. l am only 50. I said seventy
years ago. The incident reminds me
of a woman who posed as the mother
of Gen. Lew Wallace. She gave her
age as "a, and, by virtue of several
plausible stories. she had received con-
siderable attention and entertainment
in several Ohio towns. There were
some parts of her story, however.
which aroused suspicion and one of
the sceptics wrote to Gen. Wallace
about the matter. The following reply
was received by return mail:
my own mother died when I was
too young to realize my loss, a fact
which should be sufficient to prove the
woman in question an imposter More
over, as ! am now 70 years old, it is
scarcely possible that a woman of IA
should have such an intimate relation
ship"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

There have been many attempts
since the success of Dooley, AIDE, Kiser,
Billy Baxter and others to write some
what similar systems of philosophic
humor or of humorous philosophy. In
some guise or other the successful
humorist must present a certain
amount of homely philosophy. 1t
would be difficult to name the success
full element: whether it is the humor
which leevens the lump of philosophy
or the philosopy which gives substance
and purpose to the humor. At any
rate, both element are necessarily pres
ent, and long may the combination ex-
ist in right proportion. Unfortunately,
however. many of the attempts of the
past and present seasons have failed
OF their purpose. Vulgarity has crept
in on the one hand and. on the other
woodenness Of characters has prevent
ed a realization of lifelikeness in the
expressions. For the most part, this
kind of writing has had 10 pass the
test OF newspaper publication, a fact
for which we should be grateful since
n has resulted IN a Discrimination on
the part OF publishers 10 bring out IN
book form newspaper humor which
has not received the stamp Of popular
approval. not unpleasant specimen
81 monoloEue humor OF this kind has
Just been published under the title ~
zone Forty Two" being the eonfes-
hlons o. a reformed messenger BOY.
The author "a Chicago newspeper
man ana his sketches are familiar 10
the inhabitants o. that city. Number
on t9ftt-tNo may never have existed
ln ne nehh-indeea he is too intslll-
n@Ht Tor such = suspicion - be enter.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
S.. I. & i. of lei. R'y
and c. g. S. R'y,
sUNDAYsCHEDuLE.

SUNDAYSCHEDuLE.
For Isle of Hope, Thunderbolt, Mont
gomery, Cattle Park and West End
Subject to Change Without Notice
ISLE OF HOPE AND 10TH STREET.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
MODERN FABLES
BY GEORGE ABE. reA~ str ~

THE MODERN FABLE OF THE
SECRET OF ONE POPULAR sue
CESS.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
The Modern Fable of the Balky Boy
Who Kept Her Waiting.
Copyright, 1901, by Robert Howard Russell.

THE MODERN FABLE OF THE
TWO FAVORITES AND THE
USUAL COMBINATION
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17
TRIAL BOTTLE SENT ABsoL'
Sold by All Druggists.

DO not delay Write once. addres sing DIR. TAFT BR
CO.. 70 both St, New York City.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-11-17

Commencing at p. m, car leaves
Thunderbolt every hour for Isle OF
Hope until p. m.
Commencing at $3.50 p. m. car leaves
Isle OF Hope every hour for Thunder
bolt until $3.50 p. m.