davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
Depew and Plat.

Chauncey NJ. Depew used to have in
his collection of curlosities a certain
Geographic dispatch which never fail
ed to interest the politicians to whom
he showed it. The telegram was sent
to Mr.. Depew, then president of the
New York Central railroad, by Mr..
Platt shortly before the latter's cleo
ton to a second term in the senate. 1t
is dated a few stations above POUCH
keepsie and reads:
Please stop the noon express here to take on
Mrs. Plat and Ne Too.
II stopped the train gladly" Mr.. De-
pew would say when he exhibited it.
Il am always willing TO do n favor for
a man who turns a joke on himself"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
Shorts In n Corner.

"Yes," said young Mr.. Bashful to his
best girl, ''the stock market has been
through considerable excitement of
late"
"Oh, yes" the girl responded. eager to
take part in conversation on a topic
which interested her Adolphus. II
have read n lot about it in the paper
all about those dreadful bulls and
bears and things"
YES" Adolphus went on; ''they got
the shorts in n corner and effectually
squeezed them"
Ibid they"
eyes"
81 think" the demure maid added.
after a few minutes meditation, that
If ever become a SPECTATOR l shall be
a Short
a few minutes later she found it was
not necessary to speculate in stock in
order to be treated as a ''short."-Pitts-
burg Commercial Gazette.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
Arundel Castle.

The most singlar circumstance about
Arundel castle is that its owner. by
mere right of ownership, is Earl of
Arundel in the peerage of England. 1t
is believed that there is no similar ex-
ample OF n peerage held on such condi-
tions. Apparently there would be no
legal obstacle. were the house of How
ard to fall upon evil days and the cas-
tie be sold to some millionaire. to pre-
vent the millionaire taking his seat in
the house of lords as Earl of Arundel.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
General Lee. An.uer.

After the surrender of Appomattox.
General Wise came riding down the
road furiously to where General Lee
and his staff were grouped. He was
splashed with mud from head to heels.
and there were great splOtches of mud
dried and caked upon his face. Ad-
dressing General Lee. he asked in 4
theatrical voice, rs it true, General
Lee. that you have surrenderedP
Yes, General Wise, it is true"
81 wish. then. to ask you one ques-
ton. What is going to become of my
brigade, General Lee. and what is go
ing to become of meT
General Lee looked at the splashed
warrior for a full minute and then
said calmly and in low tone, Gen
eral Wise, go and wash your face"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
industrious Locusts.

He was an old sailor and full OF
yarns about the good old times Of sail
ing ships. 81 remember once" he
said, while we were cruising round
the Pacific we were surrounded by a
swarm of locusts, which ate every
inch of our sails. When we got into
the next port. I'm bowed if we didn't
see the same locusts and every one
with pair of canvas trousers"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24

COrn-60C.
Oafs-36cM3So.
Hay-Timothy, tf4 prairie, tl2.
Straw-S7.
Doal-S3 per ton.
Potatoes-st %.
DOC.
Eggs-I5c.
Hens-6Ikc per pound
Spring Oh cKens-sa 500S3 per cozcn.
Cettle-Butchers pay for corn fed steers
4lScG55sic; COWS and heifers, 3Hc94c; calves
3cfd4c.
Sbeep-4Ikc65c
SpIing Iames-s2 5o0f4 head.
Hogs-t6zbs6 So
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
pInerent From the Rest.

They are talking about how they
happened to marry.
II married my wife," said one after
the others had all had their say, be
cause she was so different from any
woman had ever met
How was that?" chorused the
others.
"She was the only woman I ever
met who would have me-"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
domestic difference.

Mrs. Enpeck-James, you are good on
language. What is the difference be-
tween exported and transported?
Mr.. Enpeck-Why. my dear, IL you
should go to England, You would be
exported, and I-well, would be trans
ported.-Sunny South.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
A Hard Character.

Hell went to the palmists last week
TO have my character read.
She-Yes? What did he say?
He-He didn't say anything. He
looked at my hand. coughed a bit and
then gave me my money back.-New
York Times.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24

The Kongo Is one OF the widest water
ways on the globe. IL not the finest In
some parts it is so wide that vessels
may pass one another and yet be out Of
sight.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24

= y
plain business proposition
when you buy of a relia-
bic firm. The keynote of
our success is value for
value. We give honest
value for every dollar given
US. Our customers are our
best friends, because we
make them such.
We would like to have
you call and see what we
can do for you in the way
of special inducements on a
piano this eek.
Our fall stock of pianos
will soon arrive and we
need room. We are making
prices accordingly. You
will only act in your own
best interests if you call
this week. One of the old
est piano men in this vicin-
ity. d. j. Hickey, will
be pleased to show you the
stock.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24
THE MARKETS.

Chicago Grain and Produce.
Chicago, Sept. %.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24

stock, 12c. EggS-F'reSh stock, 14Gl5
per doz Live Poultry-Chickens. hens,
&c per lb: springs. loo; ducks, 7QI1zc.
Apples-New, $1.0042.50 per brl. Pota-
toes-Per sack. S0G95c.
Chicago Live Stock.
Hogs-Estimated receipts for the day,
81 900: sales ranged at S5.10Q6.35 for
pigs, S6.7OGT.20 for light, $6.7O@6.S5 for
rough packing, S6.75G7.2O for mixed, and
Sc. 9Oq7.40 for heavy packing and ship
ping lots; bulk of the sales at $3.50
7.15.
Cattle-Estimated receipts for the day
24.000 quotations ranged at S6.1Oq6.6O
for choice to extra steers, $5.45Q6.O5 for
good to choice do. $4.S5G5.50 for fair TO
good do, S4.1504.S0 common to medium
do, $S.9O@4.40 butchers steers, $4,000
els fed western steers, $2.20Q4S0 stock
ers and feeders. S1.o0@4.6O cows. S2-oOGD
SEQ heifers. S2.5Od4.5O bulls and oxen,
$4.O0Q5.25 stays, SS.30@4.S5 Texas steers,
$S.15G 5.4e grass western steers, and S4.oO
6100 veal calves.
Sheep and LambsAEstimated receipts
for the day, 10000: quotations ranged
at ssOOG3.So westerns. S29Od3.9O ma
tives. $S.40d4.S5 western lambs, and $500
@4.e0 native lambs.
East Buffalo Live Stock.
East Buffalo, y. ". Sept. %.
Dunning & Stevens Live Stock Com
mission Merchants, East Buffalo, y. Y,
quote as follows: Cattle-Receipts, 100
cars; market stronger for good TO
choice grades; others all lower; best
cows, $4.OOGD4.5O; others. firm; Gamers
TO fair. $l50G3.S0: prime heifers, $4.15@
500; others. S3.10G4-25; bulls. $2.s0d4.00;
stockers and feeders. 1OG15c lower; good
fresh cows steady: Veals. $500 500.
Hogs-Receipts. 15 cars: market steady
TO strong: best heavy. SI.35d7.40; York
eGs. $7.10@7.50; pigs, S6.10@6S0; grassers
and Michigan hogs. S7.0OG7 20; roughs,
ST. 25d6.6O; stays. $5.2565.75. Sheep and
Iambs-Receipts. 60 cars: market
steady; top lambs, S5-25G5.40; others,
"a. OOd5.15; sheep. S1.5O@4OO; wethers
and yearlings. S4.e0G4.25.
81. Louis Grain.
st. Louis. Sept. %.
Wheat-Firm: No. , red cash eleva-
tor, 7O14c; track. 71l5dT2c; September.
7OAc; December. 715sc; May, 1850: No.
hard, 69c. Corn-Higher: No. cash,
591kc; track. 59G59Ac; September SIC;
December $3.50; May. 6issc. Oats
Higher: No. cash. 3714c; track, 37%0
3Sc: September, 37Lc; December, 3Shc;
May. 40@4e3sc; No. white, 39A S91zc.
Rva-TTrun- 5Sr
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-09-24

Produce: Butter-EXtra creamery,
20c per lb: extra dairy. 1Td1sc; packing
stock. 12c. Eggs-Fresh stock, 14d1512C
per doz Live Poultry-Chickens. hens,
&c per III: springs. loo; ducks, 7QT1zc.
Apples-New, $I.O0@2 90 per brl. Pota-
toes-Per sack SO695c
The Grit-advocate., 1901-11-01
Modern Surgery Surpassed.

Modern Surgery Surpassed.
"While suffering from bad case Of
piles consulted physician who ad-
vised Inc to try a box of DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve, says G. F. Carter,
Atlanta. Ga. 81 procured box and
was entirely cured. DeWitt's Witch
Hazel Salve is splendid cure for piles
giving relief instantly, and 1 heartily
recommend it to all sufferers" Sur
gerry Is unnecessary to cure piles. De-
Wits Witch Hazel Salve will cure any
case. Cuts, burns, bruises, and all
other wounds are also quickly cured
by It. Beware of counterfeits. G. La
velle.
The Grit-advocate., 1901-11-01
Astounding Discovery.

From Coopersville, Michigan, comes
word Of wonderful discovery Of a
pleasant tasting liquid that when used
before retiring by any one troubled
with a bad cough always ensures a
good nights rest. st will soon cure
the cough too," writes Mrs. S. Himel-
burger, for three generations Of our
fomily have used DR.. Kings New Dis
covery for consumption and never
found its equal for coughs and colds"
Its an unrivalled life saver when used
for desperate lung diseases. Guaran-
teed bottles SO cents and Sl.00 at G.
Lavelle's drug store. Trial bottles
free.
The Grit-advocate., 1901-11-01
PUBLICATION LIST DELINQUENT TAXES
FOR THE VARIOUS YEARS INDICATED.
STATE OF COLORADO,
COUNTY OF SEDGWICK.

Public potics hereb @ gge that Viii aco0n law Caer at pabe
Colorado 10Th PAY Of q oo and
following
herein down. and towit
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
A sUNpAY sERMoN.
TFrom the Marion Record. ]

ItrOm the Marion Record
If there were no heaven and no hell;
if the soul We're not in mortal: if death
ended all; If man died like the OK and
was not, still the Christian life would
be the only life really worth living
Suppose the Golden Rule of doing unto
others as you would have others do
unto you We're in universal practice;
suppose its unself1sh idea. in honor
preferring one another held universal
sway; suppose the theory that "it is
more blessed to give than to receive
were in operation everywhere; suppose
its high ideal Of peace on earth. good
viii to men" prevailed; suppose its
great dominating principle of love
filled and thrilled every soul and per
meated every avenue of human en-
deavor-wouldn't this old world bios
som as the rose? Why we wouldn't
need a heaven except for those who
had been compelled to obey the final
summons and reluctantly leave the
heaven on earth Tt would drive every
wolf from the door; it would dismantle
every fort and divert all the vast war
expenditures into channels Of benevo-
lence: it would close every jail and
penitentiary; it would put roses into
millions Of pale cheeks. and laughter
INTO millions u SsAu nedAtSs II would
double the average longevity of the
human race. Christianity, in full
fruition would do all this for the
world. Isn't il. therefore, the only life
worth living2 But If man is more than
animal; if he is to live forever. if this
earth-life is but his stationary
state; if his veal or woe throughout
eternity is to be controlled by his con-
duct here, how UNNECESSARILY more 1t
is true that the Christian life is the
only life worth living.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
PENSION RED TAPE.

1t seems that the mode Of procedure
in the government pension bureau is, to
say the least, rather queer The people
of Kansas We're informed a few days
ago that an officer in a Kansas regi-
nent has been granted a pension Of $50
per month.
The allowing of the pension was un-
doubtedly justifiable so far as the
claims of the officer went but the point
for criticism is that numbers
of men who We're only privates have TO
wait for a thousand yards of red tape
to be gone through with before they
can receive any help from the govern
ment In Topeka there are two vet
Grams of the Spanish war who show to
everone who sees them their claims
for pension. one walks with a cane
and his nervous system is so shattered
that he is unfit for work The other
walks with crutches and can not talk,
but neither of them has so far receiv-
ed a cent of pension Only about TWEEN
ty-five of the thousand yards of red
tape has been gone over in regard to
their claims. They do not enjoy politi-
cal prestige nor a lucrative law prac-
tioe but they do need a pension, and
they need it now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
MEAT TRUST PRICES

Every day brings before the people
more wildly the baneful effect of the
trusts, and the latest example is the
packing house combination The small
slaughter house has almost disap-
peared from the face of the earth, and
the packing houses are in absolute con-
troll of the meat situation
The price Of cattle has been demon
allied within the past two weeks, but
porterhouse steaks stil1 sell for 20
cents per pound. The price Of live
cattle has fallen to two cents per
pound, but the packers still continue
to squeeze the consumers to the limit
The packers sell the meat to the
butchers at from to s cents per pound
and the butchers assist the squeezing
process by keeping up their end. They
complain that they can not sell neat
for less because the packers keep up
the price. and the packers say that
they can not cell for less.
The facts are that Topeka butchers
ought to now be able to buy their meat
at not more than cents per pound,
and the consumer ought at least to be
supplied at from 8 to Is cents, but so
long as there are packing house trusts
and the people do not complain, condi-
tions are not apt to improve.
Why wouldn't it be a good plan to
revive the old beef club idea, and let
a number of people buy a beef and
divide it among themselves
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
GLOBE SIGHTS

IFrom the Atchison Globe.1
It is so dry that lightning bugs are
setting fire to the grass
This is what philosophy amounts to:
Il do it, but you should not"
What bright things we say in repair
tee in conversations we imagined
This weather makes the average man
as cross as a banker out of balance.
doctor should not take his own
medicine, and a saloon keeper should
not drink his own drinks.
A man should not be blamed for the
mistakes he makes: he should be cred
tied as he profits by them.
1T is getting serious" a man said to-
day, speaking of the drought. It has
been serious for some time.
1t is said that one of the incest men
in Atchison is nice because his wife
whips him. and keeps him regulated.
A homely woman shouldn't wear a
n-bOnnet, because she looks worse,
and a pretty one shouldn't hide her
good looks under one.
If you want to get a boy up early in
the morning, promise to give him
something at exactly a. m, and no
other time. and he viii be there.
We have quit scolding at boys about
their hands and feet. If this drought
keeps up, the city council will have to
compel every one to go unwashed.
If we were a member of the sun
shine club, we would change it's name
in this weather to Cloudy club and
have people glad to hear about US.
A recent Atchison bride had twelve
dozen hose in her outfit, one dozen of
which cost SO pair Tt viii wear out
a lot of hose, however, to sustain such
a. pace in after life.
Most love stories end with wedding
bells but the one out at Ell Dorado ends
up with the figures. 1851, by which the
girl VINO loved VIII be known hereafter.
in the penitentiary.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

lFrom the Chicago Newsl
The hypocrite prays cream and acts
skim milk
Money invested in knowledge pays the
best interest.
The. man who lives to no purpose lives
to bad purpose.
He who would his peace dethrone only
need his work postpone.
To sign your name to another man 5
note is considered a bad sign
Sorrow adds less to the undertaken s
income than little green apples.
Men who work in salt mines should be
able to preserve their regulations.
An insignificant little banana peel has
started many a man on the downward
path
It is better to be beaten in trying to
do right than it is to succeed in doing
wrong
LII, The art Of converse ton consists in
when to stop.
4 dun minister in the pulpit is a sore
trial but the soprano In the choir is apt
to be q Soarer-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
DIR. mARvIN's GREAT WORK.

The death Of James Marvin, former
chancellor of the State university and
first head of Haskell Institute, Law
renee. takes away a firm friend of the
educational and religious institutions
of Kansas. and a man to whom they
are under lasting obligations. DR.. Mar
wins name does not appear in the an
nails of the border warfare. for he came
here after the smoke had cleared away.
1But his work was none the less import
ant. coming as it did at a time when
the young state had settled down to a
reasonably placid existence.
When he became chancellor of the
State university in 1875. the prospect
invited the strongest efforts of the best
friends of the institution. The present
main building. the first of the group
to be occupied, was only partially com
pleted; and the campus appeared more
TO be a dump ground than what it has
since become. The curriculum was
necessarily weak in comparison with
its present standing. But Dr. Marvin
took firm grasp Of matters and when
he left the school a few years later 1T
had begun to be a power in Kansas ed
ucation.
1T seemed to be his allotment to take
the responsibility Of the inception Of
such institutions. After leaving the
university he was called to the first
SUPPLEMENTARY Of Haskell institute
and there. too. showed his power of or
ganizing and putting in operation what
is now the second greatest school for
Indian instruction and training in this
country
When he withdrew from Haskell. he
assumed the pastorate Of the leading
congregation of Nethodists in Lawrence
and remained with that body until az
ter i had been greatly strengthened
and the present imposing FIRST Metho-
dist church had been built
OF late years Or. Marvin had been in
feeble health, and not even able 10 en-
JOY his least deserving reward. that of
comfort in his last days
But the friends of those institutions
for the advancement of which he gaze
his powers SO freely. will see to it that
the recompense OF an unforgotten name
shall at least be his.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
ouAKER REFLEcrIoNs-

TFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Fly catchers-Baseban players.
A belt around the waist is worth two
on the jaw.
A Kensington girl describes love as
toothache of the heart.
Some men can never find anything
about the house except fault
lis wonder some people don't get
indigestion from chewing the rag.
At any rate Lot couldn't say of his
wife that she wasn't worth her salt.
Wigwag-"Going to Bunalo?" Hard
uppe--'No; I can't raise the fare
Men are naturally quarrelsorne when
they have a cold in the head, and fire.
Quently they come to blows
Nell-'What a queer nickname your
brother has 1t sounds like Bal bal' -
Belle-"That's it. You see he's the black
sheep of the family"
Polly Pinktights-'.T leading lady
is ILL.," Fanny Footlights-s' Critically ~
Polly Pinktights-..I suppose So Didn't
you see the way all the papers roasted
her this morning2''
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
Chicago and Return $1,000 via the
Santa Fe Route.

For the International Convention Rap-
fist Young Peoples Union Tickets on
sale July 23-24-25. return limit July
goth. except by depositing ticket with
Joint Agent at Chicago it can be ex-
tended to leave Chicago as late as
August 31st. Fast trains leave To-
peka at go and 40 D. m, trains ar
irving at Chicago at 1850 and $50 a, m
lines.) The 3 80 p. m. train carries Pull
man tourist sleepers daily, at one-half
the cost of regular sleepers. Free chair
cars on both trains.
N. BIN connection with this con-
vention, the Chicago lines Will sell
tickets to Buffalo and return, for the
n-Annerican Exposition, at the rate
of $500, for ten days. Great opportun-
ity to visit the Exposition.
Trip from Chicago to Milwaukee and
return via steamer. only S1-00.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13

The besetting sin of a Leavenworth
mans incubator was that it fails to
hatch.
A Topeka chiropodist says he isn't
worrying about this weather anJuring
the corn crop.
The recent address Of Tom MeNeal
at Holton is said to have been the
finest ever delivered in the county
Two Maple Hill boys have killed a
half dozen wolves the past month that
the heat made too lazy to run away
There have been two band concerts at
Topeka within a week and at neither
one of them was a Hot Time played
Strange as it may seem summer
theater is often a frost But this ism
the case with the hot weather one IN
Topeka.
Price one of the automobiles that
spins around Topeka's streets if you
think the horseless carriage IS for the
cashless man.
There il to be &. fencing match in
Shawnee county this month Such work
in hot weather is apt to make the con-
testants feint.
"A Manhattan citizen telegraphed this
crop report to Secretary Coburn Fri
day: IF it don't rain in Is minutes
the corn As gone"
The drouth has destroyed several
acres Of watermelons for an Ellsworth
man and naturally enough he is looking
rather seedy over it.
1t has finally occurred to a. Butler
county man that it is cheaper to have
a we'll on his ranch than drive his cat
tie 2 mile twice day to water.
Holton complains that the temper
ance and Christian people who met at
the church last spring to pray for a
dry town rather overdid the thing
If this dry weather continues the
Populists may take second thought
before accepting Mort Albaugh's inyl-
tation to quit their party for his n =
The Independence dog catcher has
threatened to resign, simply be-
cause some one releases all the CANNES
from the pound at night that he rounds
UP in the day time
An Emporia woman who refused to
pen uD her chickens and was sent to
Jail is wondering if her fowls might not
as well have destroyed the neighbors'
gardens as the drouth.
"A romantic" Parsons girl has located
her hammock in the back yard, one end
of which is swung from a pig pen, the
other from tree at the foot of which
stands the swiu barrel
The Topeka company complains that
there is no money in dollar gas. Per-
haps motor the people-but cyclic
paedias say there IS a good living
profit for the corporations in 10 cent
gas
The Concordia phone girls weary of
hearing "hello, hello" dinned in their
ears for 30 cents daily went out on q
strike. And the grinding monopoly
needed not their prayer but procured
other ''centrals-
At Wellington where the COWS are
pasturing on the graves of the soldier
dead the c. A. r. demands more deco
ration days to revive patriotic feeling.
The miliners say they have too many
decoration days as it is.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
REFLEcTIoNs OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.I

-
Hot weather takes the starch out of
our modesty as well as our linen.
Little children don't lie so much as
grown-up people because they don't
have to keep on speaking terms with
their best friends.
Mighty few men have the viii power
in weather like this to tell a woman
they'd rather be with her in = hot
stuffy parlor than anywhere else on
earth
When there is nothing else to worry
about a woman can worry because
she never knew everything to be going
all right without some great trouble
being in store for her.
When a summer girl gets to worry
ing for fear you got your Fourth of
July headache working in the hot city,
it is time to consider whether you
want to be mixed UP ia anything 50
serious.