Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-24
They clamored for the cabbages.

They clamored for the cabbages.
shock, by placing a thousand dollars
in his hands, and asking him to kindly
invest the money in her name so that
1t would realize the greatest possible
returns in thirty days.
She clothed the request in clever
little speech in which she said her
father had given her the money that
she might amuse herself by dabbling
in speculation, but never having had
any experience in that sort OF thing,
and having heard her father speak SO
highly of Mr.. Higgins business sa-
gacity, ETC., etc.
about ninety degrees in his own esti-
nation and inspired him with so much
confidence in his final triumph, that
he actually felt sorry for Bennington.
He procured quiet tip from brok-
er friend, invested the funds in some
securities that later took an inward
leap and in less than thirty days had
realized quite profitably.
But that, however, has little to do
with this story which was intended to
be woven entirely around that idiot,
Bennington, and his ridiculous in
vestment.
Bennington always was an idiot else
he would not have gone to Higgins,
told him that Mabel had commissioned
him, also, to invest thousand for her
and asked his advice. However, Ben
nington had never felt the thrust Of
one of Higgins practical jokes, else
this story would not have been writ
ten.
Now, OF course, Higgins immediate
ly comprehended the situation, and his
innate desire to play trick Gu some
one mastering him, he at once en-
braced the splendid opportunity to en-
Joy a laugh at Benningtons expense,
and at the same time securely rivet his
own matrimonial prospects.
Very earnestly and persuasively he
poured into Bennington's eager, listen
ing ear, graphic description of the
immense wealth which awaited the
man who had shrewdness enough to go
into the country, invest a thousand
dollars in cabbages. at two or three
cents a head, and ship them to Mil
waukee.
"And why to Milwaukee," Benning-
ton asked innocently.
"Why, my dear young man." re-
sponded Higgins, what is it that has
made Milwaukee famous? Beer sir,
beer. And beer calls for-what? Vein
erwursts. And weinerwursts and
kraut are inseparable; and kraut, well,
you know that is made of cabbage?"
A few days later Higgins learned
that Bennington had actually started |
on trip to the country to buy cab
bages, and his malignant Joy was I'M
bounded.
He dropped in at the club and told
us of the joke. We all laughed hearth
ly, and those who had placed their
money on Bennington, tried to hedge.
AS for Higgins, his face was perfect
study in smiles.
"And have you no conjunction of
conscience, Higgins?" asked Richards.
"les, l will admit l have" replied
he. Imagine Bennington confessing
that he invested in perishable article,
shipped 1t to an already flooded mar
ket and was obliged to unload at a
sacrifice. How dueced humiliating!
Poor fellow! Really l am sorry"
But the appearance presented by
Higgins as he danced around the room
did not indicate that any great sorrow
was gnawing at his heart.
And at that very moment Benning-
ton was passenger on a freight train
speeding towards Milwaukee, and bear
ing forty thousand head of cabbages
which he had purchased, with Miss
Montgomery's money, at two cents
apiece.
Higgins maintains that none but
idiots and fools have luck. and upon