The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1901-12-24
BREEZES FROM NEWTON
Blown This Way by Dorrance Buck
ley Burdette the Picturesque Char
acter of Greenf,eld Town sh;n.

VI YOU want to learn of the tcrro,S OF
u buckine sheep. u ram with crooked
horns ana hard as Unrveyizcd steel
ASK Dorrance Buckley Burdette CDorie
BurdiclO, the humorous philosopher, Of
Newton Lake.
"Ir YOU ever want to think that
You're on the dawn of Kingdom come"
ne writes 10 The Tribune. you want to
get bucking sheep after you. One OF
,hem fellows with horns that could
plough Il ten-acre lot as quick as Whit
neN coulu make up a fve-headed calf
story met one the other day coming
uoNn from Lakeside. Susuuehanna
county. He must have been "A whole
loot ball eleven. FOR he had all them
hNins wedges and plays round the side
ana bucking the center that I read
about IN The Tribune. He made me
make some beautiful tOuchdowns. and
IL 1T wasn't for Il barb wire fence,
might be eatin' my Christmas turkey
III the hospital that my friend Julius
Moses helps to look after. But
wouldn't have got close to this crazy
ram If it hadn't been that I got lost
on the way to the train and met
ft-handed woman. If you're ever lost
ana amt particular whether you ever
ma your way, just run across u left
handed woman and have her direct the
way for you. When she's Dointin' to
her left you think it's her right and
before you get through you don't know
what she's don'. Instead of coming
out at Thompson. struck where the
ark landed--at Arar4lt"
I'm alone here IN the office, Mr.. Tri-
bune man. continues Dorrance. Il am
here alone with Rover, my dog. my
skink' dog. Rover is like the Irish
mans monkey-wrench that was con-
cealed in a conspicuous place he's lay
ing out OF sight here. where everybody
who comes in can see him. The dog is
scared. and I'm lonesome.
Well, I've been going to church two
nights at Dundaff. You had ought to
come ont. The revivals are free. MY
daughter is in town. Me and my daush-
ter. the youngest one. is here T.. Il.
Wells and his sister gave us some fine
music. His wife and tried to sing ut
the meeting, but the pieces We're new to
me. Her child was asleep and she was
nervous. and we couldn't so as high in
the notes as we might under more con-
venient circumstances. There seems to
be Il deep interest exhibited by the
young and old OF Dundaff. There was
one young man from Dundaff who
came forward last night and there's
others who are expected. The office boy
has just come in. Seems sorry that he
wasn't in when came first. Try him
once more and If lie doesn't do better
fire him and hire me.
IFS a fppn,, tbipo ! I;l,'t .,n., ,,,.
prices on poultry in todays or yester.
days paper. It's funny because it's so
near trading time in turkeys. Wish
you'd look this up and let me know, as
I'm interested in this matter. having n
deal on.
1.-The preacher was coming down to
our house the other night to get q little
milk of my dear wife. so | rode with
him. We argued all the way about what
ST. Paul said to Timothy about taking
no more water. but little wine for his
stomlch's sake. My name ought to be
Timothy. | guess. He thinks so. and so
do /.
This is the time Of year when the
wise guy has Il fuss with his girl and
they break away. Buying Christmas
IltSeHtS. going lo tIle;llIeS anu smoking
cigars on salary Il little less than j.
Pielnont Alorean's is like trying to
make both ends meet the same as the
dog that tries to catch the flea on the
end of his tail. Most married men don't
have to buy Christmas presents. If he
leaves ii to his wife. she'll make him
enough presents to keep him paying for
them until next Christmas.
Yours for Il foot of snow on Christ
mas morning. -. e. Burdettc.'