The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-05-24

err. editor and patriot, is described by DR..
William e. Barton, author of"A Hero
in Homespun," as the very incarnation
Of East Tennessee's rudeness, strength,
and exalted love of country and Of right:
EFF hit warn't that he's a preacher
says one Of the characters, you
wouldn't know sometimes w'ether he's
a-prayin' or a-quotin' scripter chapter an
varse, or JUS plain everyday sorter GUS
sim" Brownlow wrote to Secretary
Benjamin at Richmond: Just give NE
my passports and I will do for your con
federacy more than the devil has ever
done-I will quit the country"
the correspondence was brief, but to
the point. The letter she received was
as follows:
Dear Madam, I take pleasure in ship
ping to your address Il rug valued at $50,
fer which l shall be glad to receive your
check. If YOU do not desire the rug, please
return it.
The idea"' she exclaimed. Il never
knew such impertinence.'
Then she sat down and wrote the fol-
lowing:
Dear Sir: l have ordered no rug from
your establishment, and l see no reason
why l should go to the expense of return
wars sent to me unsolicited.
To this she received the following an
swer in due time:
Dear Madam: I will send for the unso-
licited rug, and / trust you will do me the
favor to send for the unsolicited charity en-
tertainment tickets which now lie. with
about twenty-eight others, on my desk.
The discourteous boor!' she ex-
claimed.
'Evidently,' he soliloquized," there are
methods of procedure that cannot be sue
cessfully applied to business. st. Paul
Trade Journal.
\ jeweler in Yokohama sends this card
to prospective English-speaking custom
town. Whisky boy. No. II Aioicho It.
chome. how this card to Jinrikshaman.
Our shop is best and obliging worker
that has everybody known, and having
articles genuine japanese Crystals and
all kinds of Curios. Gold or silver plate
IN electro-plate or plain mending. Cary
ing IN Laid, work own name or mono
we can work how much difficult Job with
lowest prices insure. pleace try, once
try. Don't forget name Whisky!'
Two brothers, grown men now. are
fond OF sitting down and comparing past
experiences. One particularly happy
recollection is this:
There was an old coffee mill in the at
tic, which, as boys, they greatly desired
sought his mother and begged her to give
Il don't believe I can. Tom.'' said she,
respectfully. Il should like to, but I'm
afraid l can't"
don't use it."
''No. we don't use it,
-
We'll, dear" said the mother. gently,
I'm afraid you and Ben will get to
quarreling over it,
''Oh, no, we shan'tr' cried Tom, eager
ly. You needn't be bit afraid of that,
mother. l won't let Ben touch it,
Youths Companion.
A bill for the incorporation of Ridley,
Tenn. has passed both houses of tho
Tennessee Legislature: 1t contains the
following paragraph: Thence north, So
cross and with mistletoe in the top. and
with a bluebird sitting on limb, which
tree is a short distance east of Ed
Johnson's horse lot" The News Ban
her of Murfreesboro, Tenn, is little
concerned as to what will happen if the
bluebird should become dissatisfied with
his job as boundary post and take him.
self to other chimes.
Charles r. Flint has quaint Yankee
humor which is as we'll developed today
as in his school years. In the Polytech-
mic institute the markings were on the
basis of 100 and We're bulletined month
~. One day group Of boys were look
ing at the new bulletin, on which one
marked sixty-six.
Flint said slowly:
'Sixty-six. that's the very number of
our year. and | hope that when we get
to 80 Jack will receive that fgure.''
Once sanctimonious person remarked
with 4oSg eho s1na aey:" be allowed to play
May, they not play with religious
toys!' he Queried.
There are no religious toys, SIR
Excuse me. there are"'
What are they then. sir?'
\oahs arks!'-Leslie's Weekly.
He had recently lost his job in hair.
dressing esta blishment, and had accepted
a place as clerk in a furniture concern
One day woman approached him and
said:
tress."
'Yes'm.' said the clerk. with vacan:
sort Of look: blond or brunette, ma'am -
He's looking for another place.-Yonk.
ers Statesman.
= small Scotch boy was to give eyi.
dence against his father. The magistrate
said to him:
Come, now, my man. speak the truth,
and let us hear all you know of this
affair."
,,'Weel sir, dae you ken the coal
wharf?"
Yes
"Weel, when you turn the corner YOU
gang up the High s,reet?''
Yes. my boy: you're very CLEVER
Vel. you gang on till You come to a
pump
Yes. yes: I know it well''
"Meel. you can gang and pump it, for
you'll no pump me-
And the boy dcpar;ed.-Somerville
Citizen.
Il notice whenever man has invented
good thing there is always some one to
come in and claim part Of the profits. -
said the bachelor.
What do you refer to, now?" asked
the benedict
why, see this man Marconi, who in
vented the wireless telegraphy is going
to get married. and the bachelor smoked
on.-Yonkers Statesman.
A bit of exDert Testimony wac nfforoa