Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-08-31
THE WAY 1T HAPPENED.
Showing the Difference Between the Comic
Paper Narrative and the Reality.


Paper Narrative and the Reality.
Washington Star: Tonight" said the
young hardware clerk to himself, and an
expression OF quiet determination mounted
his features, tonight j am going to see
Hattie's father and tell him that ] want
to marry his daughter"
He was fully aware tina Hattie's father
was q pretty grim sort OF a man, pos
sessed of n very shrewd eye i'm looking
clear through young men.
Inc young hardware clerk had never
peen able TO ascertain whether he was
much OF n hit with the old gentleman or
not. lie was likewise fully cognizant OF
the fact, was this young hardware clerk
VINO wanted Hattie, and wanted her bad,
nat $zo per week, his present income,
wasn't much Of n weekly wad wherewith
TO take proper care of a girl whose father
was n master plumber In good practice:
put ne saw other young married folks do
ing me w per stunt, and he didn't see
lie had asked Hattie what she thought
about II, and Hattie had replied by drop
ping into his strong, manly-but there are
have no right to probe.
Yep again unused the young hard
ware clerk, "tonight's the night for me
to brace the old boy for Hat, and I'm go
ing to put on my good bunch rags and
make the break for sure"
And he did.
1t must be said that he approached the
mouse with more or less treDidation, and
that when the hired girl told him that
Miss Hattie was dressing and would be
down In n minute, there was some huski-
ness IN his tone as he told the hired girl
mat Tor the present he desired to nave a
private conversation with Mr.. Plugleak.
The young hardware clerk sat on the
cage or q chair In the parlor, twiddllng
MS $l.SS Panama, when he heard a heavy
padded footstep In the hall, and there's
no doubt In life that he felt Just a trine
queer when Hats father, in his shirt
sleeves and slippers, with a cigar I'm the
leIt hand corner OF his grim face, and an
the hall.
"Goodevening, Mr.. Plugleak." said the
young hardware clerk, in a perfectly nat
u[ai voice. Tor he had. ror all his trepida-
feelings. 1T may be that you surmise
why 1t is that / have asked for a little
private talk with you this evening. /
want to marry Hattie. Hat SAYS she's
willing, and I've been fond Of her ever
since she was a little bit Of q thing. and
/ guess she thinks she's be able to get
along with me all righ'. and SO I'm ask
Now. 1t is right at this point that the
present narrative necessarily differs from
all narratives whatsoever of a similar
character In the funny papers.
The funny ape narrative would. by a
wanton and impossible deviation from ali
truth and nature, depict the young hard
ware clerk as executing a hasty departure
liOAA AHAH a Adh Aooh . OAI uOOI. iii me
aid of the right shoe on Mr.. Plugleak's
No. IL boot, and on his hurried way down
the front steps the unfortunate young
hardware clerk would be exhibited as
stepping on a toy express wagon that had
been accidentally left on the stems by
Hattie's little brother, thereby accelerate
ing his exit and causing his coattails to
fly UP around his head and his collar to
burst at the buttonholes. and all that sort
of thing.
However, this Is an age OF realism and
of fact, and not even for the purpose Of
evoking the uncomfortable glee Of the
reader OF this narrative can the present
writer swerve from his manifest duty Of
abiding by the whole truth and nothing
but the truth.
Consequently:
"Oh, that's 1t, Ell, SOM" said Mr.. Plug
leak, with a half smile stealing over his
naturally stern features, as he dropped
into a chair and took a long pull at his
cigar. We'll, I've been kline o. thinking
that you've been making up to Hat. It's
all right, my boy, l suppose. Hats a
good girl. and I know that she likes you.
shouldn't get married. ! want the girl
to marry the man of her own pick. I've
had a word or so about you on the quiet
with some folks that know you, and they
tell me that you're a pretty steady lad.
l don't know anything about how you're
fixed, but you're young and can't be max
irg a great deal Of money yet, but 1 guess
we can attend to that a bit in the way OF
giving you and Hat a little push along
at the outset Of your marriage and after
ward as the occasion arises. AS far as
that's concerned, l married Hats mother
when l was making only $12 a week, but
this Is a different period, of course, and
young folks of this day have to have a
lot or things that we didn't know any
thing o when | was young. All right,
boy, you go ahead and marry Hat IL you
want TO and she wants to, and 1 guess
that's all firmly enough decided upon be-
tween the pair OF you, and I'll see that
you won't go up against II in case OF
sickness or embarrassment or anything
like that. Hats mother. by the way,
thinks you're a pretty nice boy. too. and