The Sunday globe., 1901-06-30
GLIMPSES OF A BOARDER LAND
Salvation Up There is Said to be
Free.
CFrom our Special Correspondent)

lFrom our Special Correspondent)
Out % Sight, w. Va, June "A.
Here | am; off the Earth? remote
! from The Globe; high up in Boarder
! Land; five miles from the station,
ninety miles from elsewhere. And it
is perfectly glorious. Climate clean
and wholesome. No skeeters no poll
tics: no news; not even secondhand
circumstance. Nothing ever happens
in Boarder Land, except poultry daily
! for dinner and June bugs for supper.
| This is not heaven though pretty near
| it. So near it., in fact, that 1t might
/ be called a suburb of the Eternal CITY
Salvation up here in the cloud dis
| trict is "free'-same as down in the
| Division.
Board isn't. l. you want to con
| tinue living you must pay the Lady or
the Mountain for the privilege. She
could starve a fat man to death and
only half try. But she won't so long
as she can sniff a cent i'm his pocket.
Money is "iust as good as gold up
! here Anybody will take it; by your
leave or without There is price for
everything. Usually it is fifty cents.
At least that is the most popular price
among the natives wAO would famish
and go more naked than ever ii KIND
Providence had not sent them an an
nual batch of beat out Boarders. But
the Boarder doesn't care. He can so
into the woods and cuss and see the
snakes for nothing. Some Of the snakes
Won bite on Tuesdays and they sell
dom make free with cILy typewriter
on her vacation. They are truly great
snakes A clerk from one Of the de-
partment stores has secured a pair Of
striped "garters' which he thinks
may help the Face trade.
If my memory serves me well, the
clothing habit was due to serpentine
episode in the very long ago. and
perhaps "garters" are still worn to
commemorate the occasion when Eve
lost her appetite.
Some Of the Boaruers organized a
hunt last week for an animal called
Scent.ennial by the mOuntaineers.
The New Arrivals are sporty people,
and consequently are enthusiastic in
their daily endeavors to locate quarry
which can be detected without being
visible The local inhaD-,ants say
there's money in IOs skin. It's game
skin. no doubt.
Yesterday was a day Of great rejoic-
ing The new cook-lady went on her
first bat and in the excitement for
got her regular play in the kitchen for
unner.
Some Of the Gentle Strangers ex-
pressed delight at not being called
upon to guess what they were expected
to eat Sometimes our cOok-lady
makes some very palatable mistakes.
But not often. Her butterfly pies are
real tasty. A swell who had had a
third term in Joliet for not putting
the government tax stamps on half a
dozen forged checks remarked while
toying with an upper-cut from the
shoemaker's, that he had found worse
occasionally.
The canned corn is ripe now. Also
the old potatoes Both are served |
bountifully, but there's a string to
the beans.
A sad accident happened to a Board |
er whose uneducated taste tempted |
him to sample a few cherries from a |
fruitful tree. Farmer Gasblower said |
he didn't mean to sprinkle MIN quite |
so full Of bird shot, but thought them
TO NlH - tA0otH bABll. W bt AtAh III AAoN /
70 steal his cherries when he was look |
ing and his gun was loaded
Slaves Of Fashion are not crOWding
the other Boarders very hard, We
have. Of course, two or three eXpOnents |
of Kanned bargains and Palais Royal |
for outings, who do not know just what
to put on and don't put j, on, but 9th
ers seem to empty their suit cases all
over theis backs, just TO frighten the
mOuntaineers.
Fishing is good but bait is hard to
get and fetChes a higher price than
fish.
The woods are full of birds-some
of them very Jalented-can sing any
thing at sight A few have learned to
whistle rag-time melodies and a couple
of old crows have got SOusa's worst
march down fine,
How we manage to play golf on the
mountain-side and perform other
equally essential social stunts under
the most natural difficulties will be
explained later
In conclusion / would remark that
those who have the nerve to scale the
heights Of Boarder Land must also
have some sort Of a pull with the rail
roads. Two or three dollars will fire.
quently induce a B, & o. agent to let
you ride on one Of their cars for sever
al or more miIes,
Your wife, or your friends wife,
win tell you when you have progress
ed far enough into the vast domain Of
the Pastoral Plutocrat whose publish
ed invitation you have accepted.
Leave the train at the station. DO
not attempt TO taKe it any further up
the mountain A blackboard for Buck
Boarders will land you in the nest in
the sky and into the welcoming arms
Of Dame Nature.
Yours,
COME-ON...
p. S.-If il rains put up your bor-
rowed umbrella.