Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-02-20
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A Ple0OmeHdl CuCCeS>. Ouulii-NaS
the shtrike success? Cassidy-It was
Afther being out six weeks we sue.
caded in gittin' back our jobs.-Puck.
Mistress (severely)-If such thing
occurs again, Norah, l shall have to get
another servant. Norah-I wish yer
would; there's easily enough work fer
two of us.-Tit-Bits.
She-Have you read that continued
story in the paper? He-Not all of it.
She-How far did you get? Hell fin.
ished the synopsis of preceding chap.
tiers. "-Brooklyn Life.
Golf and chess: Foozle-I suppose
YOU are willing to admit that golf is an
intellectual pastime? Bunker-Yes, in
about the same sense that chess is an
athletic game.-Boston Transcript.
"What kind of man is this John
Smith," "Oh, he's the kind that
thinks he can hold on to his umbrella
by having his name engraved on the
handle. New York Evening World.
Sportsman Ito Smith, who hasn't
brought down a single bird all day.
Do you know Lord Peckham Smith
Oh. dear, yes; I've often shot at his
house. Sportsman-Ever hit it?-Fun.
Lucky Bingles: "Bingles is a lucky
man; his time goes right ON whether he
is waking or sleeping, sick or we'll"
what is Bingle's business!" Watch
r."-Columbus (Ohio) State Jour-
nal
A scientist at work: "How did you
come to be professional beggar?" II
amt no professional beggar I'm en-
played to git up statistics on how many
heartless people they is in this town.
Chicago Record.
Homegrown lustre: "Then you don't
bank much on ancestral pride?" "No;
it Is more to mans credit to start
from nowhere and be somebody than to
start from somewhere and be nobody"
indianapolis Journal.
The exact truth exacted: Caller
you look like good and truthful girl;
tell me-is your mistress really out?
Domestic-She is, ma'am. Caller
i Where? Domestic-At the elbows,
ma am.-Chicago Tribune.
well, Borus,' said Naggus, the en-
inent literary critic, Il see you began
the new century right" "How's that%
asked Borus, the struggling author. II
don't understand" you didn't write
any poem about it."-Chicago Tribune.
A Subsidy Defined: 81 see so much in
the newspapers about subsidies. What
does a subsidy mean, John?v "a SUBJ
sidy, Mary, Is where give you twenty
dollars for going to see your mother in
stead of having her come to see you."-
Denver News.
SO Consoling: Lady (whose mare has
| just kicked member of the hunt, who
was following too closely)-Oh, I'm so
sorry! | do hope it didn't hurt you'll
She's such gentle thing, and could
only have done it in the merest play,
you know.-Punch.
Towne-"That boy of Jones' is older
that he looks, isn't he? Browne-I
don't think so. Why? Towne-l saw
him out skating to-day, and he never
once tried to see how near he could go
to the danger sign without falling in.-
Philadelphia Press.
Useless: You didn't submit quietly
to their gagging you, did your" asked
the officers who had hurried to the.
scene as soon as the robbery was over.
''No." gasped the victim; 81 chewed the.
rag, of course, but what good did that
do?"-Chicago Tribune.
What do you find in that stupid old
paper to keep you so busy?" petulantly
asked Mrs. Youngcouple. 81 was Just
swered. "Oh, do they have a money
market? Are there ever any bar
gains r-Indianapolis Press.
Robbery: Citizen-My house at No.
4,916,718 Uneasy street was robbed
last night" Police Captain Ito clerk
Smith, please look in your books and
see If a permit was issued to anybody
to rob the premises at No. 4,916,71S I'm
easy street, last night."-Puck.
Mr.. sophtie-Well. WILLIE your sister
has given herself to me for a Christ
mas present; what do you think of
that? Willie-Huh! That's what she
done fur Mr.. Brown last year, an he,
gev her back before Easter; bet you'll
do the same.-Philadelpha Record.
Man." said the up-to-date maiden,
rs but mixture of arrogance, tobac-
co, and football statistics" Woman
answered the end-of- the-century man.
rs no more than a compound of vanity,
cosmetics, and golf poses" And then
they We're married.-Detroit Free Press.
Walker-The bride was quite popu-
lar girl, wasn't she? Watkinson-Ye
indeed; the Evening Sacrificer sent its
sporting man to report 1t; he printed
list of rejected lovers half column
long under the heading Among Those
Who Also Ran."-St. Louis Post-Dls-
patch.