Washington sentinel., 1901-03-23
A MOORISH JOKE.
How UnoIe Sam Failed to Collect
q Bill.

Uncle Sam has not had the usual
"Americ IN luck" oi late in d alipg
with Sultans. A few month ago
he was fairly shaking his sides with
laughter over his success in bring
ing the ruler Of Turkey to terms
and extorting indemnify from him.
But he laughs best who laughs
last. His Majesty of Turkey is an
old hand at playing the game. He
deluded his Yankee brother into
the belief that the long overdue
indemnity would be paid in the
form oil an order Tor waTship to
be built by a Philadelphia hrm,
the surplus allowance tor the work
TO be used in liquidating the claim
ofthe annoying American citizens
Uncle Sam tossed bouquets at
himself as a tribute to his SUPER
ority as a claims collector and his
head was swollen with pride. Then
came the awakening. The willy
Sultan Of Turkey gave the tip to
the German Emperor, who is now
his great and good friend, and the
latter gallantly came to the rescue
oil the champion OF Mohammedan-
ism. He served courteous in
junction upon the Sultan prohibit
ing him from buying warships un
til Turkey S debt to KruPp for sup
plies sold TO the Turkish army had
been paid IN full. Thus Uncle
Sam was loiled and the Sultan has
been doing all the laughing Of late.
Now it is the Sultan OF Morocco
who is vexing the righteous soul
oi Uncle Sam. Last summer Mar
Gus Ezegui, a natuTalized Al erI-
can citizen. was killed bV a mob at
Fee. Demand was made for in
demnity and the sovereign OF Nor
occo finally came down with the
cash, $4,000, which was duly
turned over to the widow OF
Ezegui. Then, as tn re were other
claims due the United States Gov
eminent but remaining unpaid, It
was decided by the Washington
authorities that Mr.. Gunmere, our
Consul. General at rangier, should
call upon the Sultan and dun him
in the most approved style, The
Sultan, however, just at this time
appears to be unwilling to enlarge
his visiting list, and most preiu-
diced is he against American
consuls. He does not care to
make the acquaintance a, Of Mr..
Gunmere, either socially or in his
capacity as collector OF bills. So
he instructed his Grand Vizier and
his Minister OF Foreign Affairs to
intimate 10 that gentleman that
the mail service in Morocco is re-
liable and efficient. and that the
business could be settled by cor
respondence. Mr.. Gunmere was
also notified that his presence at
court would not be agreeable to
the ruler Of Morocco, who does
not demean himself by holding
social intercourse with plain Amer
lean citizens. Mr. Gunmere was
not abashed, however, and his
Government stood BY him noblY.
He replied that he must see the
Sultan personally, and that II he
was not received the American
eagle would scream in perfectly
frightful manner.
Unawed by threats OF the eagles
anger, the Sultan answered that
he would not come into contact
with such an insignificant person
as Mr.. Gunmere; that il the latter
attempted to call on him at the
capital, Morocco City, the capital
would be moved to some other
place and kept moving as long as
Mr.. Gunmere persisted in follow
ing his Most Noble and Exclusive
Majesty. AS may be imagined,
Uncle Sam is in a terrible state OF
wrath. There is no Sultan on
earth too good to exclude an
American citizen from his pres
ence. The Sovereign "Oi Morocco
has, therefore, been called upon,
in Secretary Hays sternest and
most terror producing tones, tc
send an humble apology to Wash.
ington and to admit Mr.. Gunmers
to his presence Immediately. The
armored cruiser New York ha!
been sent to Tangier, and the Sui
tan, the Grand Vizier and the Min
lister OF Foreign Affairs have beer
informed that Mr.. Gunmere i
coming to pay them call and tina
they must kill the iatted calf il
his honor and treat him as the
would a social lion" II they at
tempt to move the capital into re
mote parts Of Morocco they are t
be reminded that the guns OF tn
cruiser New York hurl proj eetile
oi steel many miles through spac,