The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-03-16
RegimentaI Comedy Of Errors
[From Mainly About People,

Of morbidness. I am, on the whole, best
described as s'pushfula'
After we had spent some uneveDtful
years in the 19gth, we went campaigning
in Burma. Tom so far overcame. his
shyness as to slay three dacoits single
handed, without even being introduced
to them, and incidentally rescued Sergt.
O'Finnigan from a certain death In
deed, as O'Finnigan said: In another
moment OF s1lud ha' been left lamentln
my own corpse, but for the capt-n, LORD
presarve 'um-" This earned Tom the
V. C., and the papers made much OF
him.
Not that Tom encouraged interview
ers- He winged the representative OF the
MandaIay Free Press, and chased the
RangQOn Times man into a reservoir
Even we, his brother officers, congrat-
ulated him cautiously, armed with polo
sticks.
Burma is not the healthiest Of chimes,
and when the dacoits had ceased da-
coiting, Tom and / went home on leave
with considerable less hair and perhaps
little more sense than when we first
went out, two very callow subalterns,
am afraid, though, in our own estl-
nation, we were accomplished men OF
the world We were breakfaSting in the
dear, dirty gloom of a London hotel,
when Tom groaned aloud and gazed
blanlzly at letter he had just opened.
what we Englishmen facetiously term
coffee
Head that" he replied in his usual
Chat was a request from the mayor
and corporation of Westchester that
Capt. Thomas CasOn, Y. C., would pc
pleased to visit them in order to receive
the freedom of the city A luncheon and
a ball appeared to form part of the pro
gramme also. Tom and 1 were born at
Westchester, but as we left there for
good at the mature age Of Two, the IN
vitation was as unexpected as IL was
We'll, said, that's all right-spoils
of war-luclzy man, you know.
shut up replied Tom. what am
"say?'' 7 echoed. why, say you're
highly honored, much pleasure, etc. OF
.sT3ut I'm not going" said Tom. pitch
me good lie to tell them, Jack
This reliance on my imaginative pow
ers was not altogether complimentary,
and / said so, further adjuring Tom,
with fraterna1 candor, not 70 be a silly
s.But I can't 60" he SAID. helpIessly;
stthere'd be brass bands, and speeches.,
and Women-no. I'm blessed if I'm go
ing" And I'm blessed If YOU shan't,
I returned firmly; the cradlt Of the
regiment and the family demands II, ana
go you shall"
I may interpolate that the family
credit was rather fictitious, as we We're
orphans, and had neither kith nor kin
I marched him off to the smoking room,
and reasoned with the authority or an
elder brother-I was a minute or two
ahead of Tom in entering this queer old
world As he remained obdurate,
clinched the matter by writing an ac-
ceptance of the mayOral invitation
I had to watch Tom pretty closely for
the next few days lest he should write
or wire retraction, but at last got
him safely into the Westminster train
We were in multi, for Tom had jlbed
at uniform, and I had not considered it
advisable to press him too hard II was
an uncomfortable journey. Tom was as
cross as the proverbial bear. refused alb
sOlutely to learn the neat little speech
had prepared for him, and sat glover
ing in a corner, Cursing me at Intervals
If [ hadn't been pretty sharp I verify
believe he would have slipped me at
Rushden the only stop before West
chester; as it was, the tail of his coat
and my new Lincoln and Bennett SUI
fered badly.
Soon we were slowing into West
chester. There We're. flags hanging out
Of windows and small children sitting on
fences, yelling shrilly as we passed
As we ran along the platform, I got up
to take my umbrella from the rack.
When I turned round again / nearly
dropped. Tom was on the of foot
Jack" he CRIED I can't do it-you
Must what?" I gasped, wondering if
my brother had gone mad.
Face thenl-go through with it; they
won't know you from me. If you don't.
I swear III bolt" The bowling station
master. cap in hand, opened the door.
I caught confused glimpse of red
baize, civic robes, and nodding bonnets;
then stepped forth, and the good West
chestr1anS gave evidence that their
lungs were in full working order.
Behind me I could hear Tom explain
ing to the station master, with a fuency
which surprised me, that he had stu
pidly dropped his match box out OF the
window of the orr side of the train;
then / became conscious that was be-
! ing addressed. i. have been told that
made an excellent speech in reply. Per
sonally, / don't remember much about
it, though, as I have never lacked for
a word or two. I dare say it was all
right But whatever Self-possession I
had vanished to the four winds when
the prettiest girl in the world stepped
forward and blushingly presented me
/ with a magnificent bouquet in the name
of the ladies' of Westchester. looked
4 into the sweetest pair of eyes / had ever
seen, and my impudence and my cOur-
age took refuge in my boots No one
could have played the part of the nerv-
Gus, modest hero better than T. as
stammered some incoherent words of
I thanks
we drove through cheering crowds to
the town hall, where received the
! freedom Of the city, and where but for
an admOnitory nudge from Toni paid
him back with a well directed hack on
I the shins. as we were going out
would have signed the freeman's roll as
Jack Cason.'
linen we went into luncheon. The lady
1 of the flowers sat beside me; she was
the mayors motherless daughter. One
is apt to imagine that provincial mayors
are necessarily successful tradesmen.
This one was not. He was a. polished
gentleman, and the head Of a world
known engineering firm. To be smiled
upon and shyly worshiped by an ador-
able girl is bad enough when you have
done something to deserve it; but when
you have done nothing, and are in ad-
dition, a contemplate fraud it is too
embarrassing for words. However, after