The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-05
MR.. EvARTs' WIT AND HUMoR.
Some Bright Remarks Credited to
the Late New York Statesman.
From the Argonau

(From the Argonaut.)
One of the most spontaneous of his re-
corded bon mots occurred when he and
Lord Coleridge were one day standing on
the banks of the Potomac, at Mount YER
non:
rs it true" said Coleridge. that Wash
ington threw silver dollar across the Po-
1T is quite possible replied Mr..
Evarts, thoughtfully, for dollar IN
those days, my Lord. went farther than y
does now. But, indeed Washington did
better than that-he threw a sovereign
across the Atlantici
One day. in presiding at table az his
Windsor home with a swarm of grand
children about him, MIR. Evarts is said to
have asked: What is the difference be-
tween this goose before dinner and me
after After futile guessing, he an
swered in quiet glee: Now the goose is
stuffed with sage, and soon the sage
pointing to himself-"will be stuffed with
goose.
Once at dinner many years ago in New
York, the guests of honor were a leading
Englishman and leading Frenchman. Mr..
t,varts presided. with one of them on his
right and the other on his left, and began
his post-prandial talk by deserving that ii
nice question whether the English
man or the Frenchman was to be named
the pick of humanity. As for me. he
added, CHANGING from right to left as he
spoke. Il prefer somthinS-betw@n the
two.
Among the guests at a Washington din
ner at which he was present was an emil
nent scientist.
Late in the evening Evarts suddenly at
tracted the general attention by saying to
the scientist: Professor. | should like to
ask you a question: Why is ii that the
liquid at the bottom of a bottle Is more
than the liquor at the top?
The scientist, all unconscious OF the run
lurking in the question, replied; Wen, !
never had my attention called to that
fact. Are YOU sure that II is fact
Yes rejoined EVarts, with perfectly
grave face. while the rest of the company
broke into a roar of laughter: Il Know
men who have frequently found by actual
experience that it is so.
Blaine at one time in his career was. as
regards consular officers. In favor OF nm
tied tenure Of office-or. at any rate. ne
believed il to be for the good of the ser
vice to change consuls from office 10 Of
fee occasionally. in order to gain wider
and more varied experience.
He sat in his room at the-state Depart
ment one day discussing different matters
of public interest with Mr. Evarts, then
his immediate. predecessor in office
Now, aere. said he. lis a case IN point
This man mas been Consul at Tn Hung for
twenty years. He went there at the time
of the war. and has remained there ever
since 1t is time he came home and got
acquainted with his own country before
he grows queue. If he stays much lon-
ger he will have a Chinese bias in his
sight. | shall remove him at once s,:. =,
replied Mr.. Evarts, quietly.
why not?"
Il am afraid it will be an unpleasant
thing to do. To be vulgar, l fear it will
make a stink
MY mind is made up, replied Mr..
Blaine. 'As soon as I can find a good,
live man to take his place / shall remove
him
But l think you will have grave diff
Guilty in finding good live man who
would be willing to take his place.
Il anticipate no such difficulty. But will
nj there.
will be any difficulty, and-I confess ] fad
to ENTHUSIASTICALLY it will, to use your
expression, make stink.
Because the man has been dead and
buried these six months, Mr.. Secretary"
II is said that Mr.. Eyarts was once go
ing up in the elevator at the State De-
partment with many applicants for min
isterships and consulships We'll" said
he to a friend this is the largest coIlec-
ton for foreign missions that has been
taken up for a long time.