The times., 1901-05-26
MODERN FABLES WITH MORALS.
A Practical Woman, an Artist, and n
Meeting of Old Friends.
(F'rom the Chicago Record-Herald)

(From the Chicago Reeord-Hcrald.)
There was Once A Man who wanted to
be A Plunger, and He invested His Mon
ey in A Business where Failure is the
Rule and Success the Exception.
His wife was Practical Woman who
did not Believe in Her Husbands method
and Scrimped. and kept The Family on
almost Nothing, while He was Doing the
Plunging.
What becomes OF the Profits of your
Business?' she Asked
Il Turn them over. Money makes Mon
ey when it Is Turned Over"
But how Do you Turn it Over?''
In Puts and Calls and Margins and
Other ways You could not Possibly Un-
derstand.'
She kept Her own Counsel and The Man
vas vas at Home so Seldom, that He never
Noticed the Saving and Scrimping. But
one Night he went Home Early and as
Soon as his Wife saw Him She was Sure
ne had Bad News. She had lived Long
Enough to know that Not one Man in One
thousand goes Home Early to tell His
wife Good News.
"Well?" she asked, HAS the Bubble
1T has And 1 am a Ruined Man, You
nad Better take the Children and Go
Back TO the Happy Home you left to fol-
follow Me, mummy deart'
Not Much responded the Practical
Woman, while you have been Losing L
| have been Saving. and now | am Going
to do little Plunging for Myself but /
| Shall not Go Beyond my depth"
Then her husband said: Give Me the
Money you have Saved and ! win Turn it
Over for You"
Thanks AwfulIy." said the Practical
Woman. But the Money Is already Turn
| ed over where it VIII do the Most Good
| There is only Going to be One Plunger
in This Family, and / am It
MOral-The Price of An Economical
Woman is above Rubie5.
a Certain portrait Painter had silly
4 - rTTf 40 WrHaag A ANrr~~.
Husband was an Artist until EVERYDAY
| grew Tired of Hearing Him addressed by
that Title, and the poor Man himself COM
| planned Of Having no Othus. name He
| declared that he would Much prefer to
have His Pictures speak for him. which
| They could Easily have done. as They
were All Speaking likenesses.
Ihen the Wlfe's sister came to Visit
| her. bringing Her Husband, Who was
only An Ordinary man, but a very Good
felIow and One Who liked to See what
| was Going On in the World and He was
Chumny with His wife to that Extent
| that When he went out With the Bows He
| always had her Permission. So He in
| Vtted Brother-In-Law out on a Toot and
said They would Probably Not Go Home
| TIL Morning.
The Nights am Told are Short In
| this latitude. Besides / would Not cOnsid-
/ er 1t Safe TO Return before Daylight" 4" He
| told His wife
And L., said the Artist. have long De-
sired to Paint Picture of The Sun when
7
The Sensible Woman would have gone
| to sleep, but the Silly One sat up and
Walled. oh. She cried, Ito think that
an Artist like Ny Husband should so con-
duct Himselfi If He were Anything but
An Artist it would Be different But An
Artist-Oh-Ohi'
What is the Matter with You?" asked
fteT sister sharply, Your Husband is Not
the Only Artist in he Family. for while
He has staid out m, l-ely TO Paint A COM
mon Everyday SunA-se, Mine before He
hr.r Dot -
MOral-It is the Point of View that De-
cides the Value of A Picture.
There was Once Comely Chicago girl
who wrote TO Her dearest Boarding
School friend and invited Her TO come
and make Her long Visit.
We won't Do a Thing but go Some
where Every single Day, and we will
have such Good Time We Will just Make
Rome howl"
This language was the Lingo of the Age
in which She lived. and Her girI-friend
Understood it as Easily as if It had been
merely Twentieth Century Greek or Choc-
taW.
The Frier.l came and was Met at the
Station by tne Chicago Girl and A young
Man who had Not figured previously in
their Exchanges of Confidence BY Mail
The Company was greatly surprised TO
see that He COrreSpohdcd with A Ring
on the Engagement finger of Her Friend
But she was discreetly silent. which was
More from Necessity than Tact, as the
LUIS -siei4i .iiotIopoilHti tHe NhlcdSO girl
10 the Complete exclusion of Her dearest
friend At dinner She sat between the
Engaged Pair, who cOnversed in Mono
tones across her Plate, and in the Even
ing They entertained Each other in the
Parlor, leaving Her to play Cribbage
with a Deaf aunt After a week of sim
liar enjoyment the Company packed Her
trunk, and when asked to Explain why
she was Leaving said:
Because my part is Not on the Pro-
gramme. You promised that We two were
TO make Rome howl. But l find that while
You are doing Rome l am expected u
stay at Home and Howl"
Moral-Two are Company, three is A
Crowd.