The Red Cloud chief., 1901-02-15
PICKED UP FRESH.

RANa' ''r H'', N'NJ
1t is easy to turn over a new leaf but
it il hard to keep it from Hopping back
agaia.
Did you ever time a woman who just
runs out for a minute TO talk to her
n~eighbors.
The sloppy weather reveals the fact
that there is no particular style in
hosiery at present.
Some men are so gloriously consti.
tuted that they can sit around all day
and not feel the least exhausted at
night.
When a man buys a ticket to a lee.
ture he generally pays out money to
learn that he does not live right, eat
right, sleep right or do anything else
right.
A candidate for Office says he is in
the hands Of his friends, but he gener-
ally finds out before it is over that the
hands Of his friends are in him, and in
pretty deep too.
II the average amateur photographer
could only take q picture Of what the
rest Of the people think OF him, he
would have some hesitancy about de-.
velopiug the negative.
A bachelor upon reading about two
lovers sitting up all night with one
chair in the room remarked that he'd
like to see the girl he'd sit on tho floor
all night for" No wonder he's an old
bachelor.
An exchange says: "~Delinquent
subscribers, will you liquidateY" IL
that was in this neck Of the woods the
editor would receive numerous calls
the next morning from delinquents
thanking him for his kindly feeling and
saying they ''wouldn't mind taking 4
drop with lim."
A certain I'M named her pet pug
dog "Hobson" but to the credit Of the
dog it can be said that cverytime Il
strange lady speaks TO him he uncurls
his caudal appendage and sandwiches
it between his hind propellers and fees
to a place of safety.
There are two unsurmountable OBJ.
jects to women entering politics. One
is that she don't know how to eat crow,
and the other is that she would want a
man TO bet her an eighteen dollar ben
net against a two dollar hat on the re.
suit Of the election.
Two weeks ago a man sprained his
back while helping his folks to move a
stove, and they said it was on account
of his awkwardness. On Sunday he
sprained his foot at a dance and his
folks say it was judgment sent for desc
Grating the Sabbath.
The editor lay dying. The doctor
beLt yer him and said; Poor man,
his circulation is almost gone" The
dying man summoned all his remain
ing strength and shouted: "You're a
liar; we have the largest circulation in
the county," and expired.
An editor in Texas was relieved Of
$40 the other day by ~pickpockets. Any
editor found guilty Of having tina
amount OF money at q time shOult
be brought before the state editoria
association and forced to divulge the
secret whereby he obtained it.
At q recent Methodist conference il
Wisconsin = resolution was passed de
nouncing certain United States cur
rency notes because they have semi
nude pictures on them. The notes vii
however DO thankfully received in tn
= contribution boxes.
The Herald prints . picture Of eigh
pretty girls Of Burr Oak who hav
formed q bachelor girls club, bearint
? the mysterious name Of the w. q. I. A
: club. Bachelor girl clubs are general
found In towns where there Is abou
eight girls to one fellow. aud perhap
the initials stand for their conundrun
(which Gets I'm, anyway
There are some men in all cities VIII
v claim to be business men who stan
ready to receive all the benefits TO b
derived from the efforts OF the publ
spirited citizens, yet they are not wi
ing to spend n cent to help all tn
people. These fellows would not spen
V a cent to perpetuate a heaven of eteI
nal rest unless they had positive ev
dence they would die in twenty-fo,
hours.
ii An unknown editor after lookir
Il over the situation has come to the CO
Il clusipn that ''some go to church
. weep, while others 60 to sleep. Son
u go to tell their woes, others to she
: their clothes. Some go TO hear Il
= preacher; others like the solo screec
= err. Boys 90 to reconnoiter, girls
because they'd orter. Some 20 for