The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-03-10
JsMODERN FABLES" BY George Ade}
The Modern Fable Of III Sure-Tbfn6
Crook and the TotOn Of NubbinViHe
I Copyrighted, 1901, by Robert Howard RUSSELL }


ment. and II any one makes any TropbI.
you arrest him." quote the diplomat,
CRATER. who thought that a Calm Biur
would smooth everything.
But the Town Marshal was not 10 he
Waved aside. He said he wanted 8 for
License Fee right away or ne would nu,
the CRATER into the Hen-House so osics
il would make his Head swim. So TIA
CRATER gave up Two and started IN 90 mir
up the Little Boxes and the Town Marshal
arrested him for Swindling and led him
over TO the CalabOose.
The next thing 10 do was to send for The
Squire. He was out trimming a Hedge.
but when he heard that there was some
Easy Money down town he put on MS
Black Coat and got out his Revised stat
utes. The Squire and the Town Marshal
backed the CRATER up into one Corner q
the Calaboose and made him stand FOR a
Search. They found nearly SO on him. so
they advised him TO get a Lawyer and told
him they would do the Fair Thing 10y him
and give him a Jury Trial. They had a
good deal of Local Pride and were down on
all Confidence Games. so they did not want
to see any of that ill-gotten Money taken
out of Town.
The Marshal happened TO have twelve
Personal Friends who had not been Work
ing much for a number Of Years. so he
went over 10 the General Store, where they
were wont TO Congregate and Criticise the
Government. and summoned them to serve
as Jurors. He told them it would not take
long because the man was Guilty.
At the Trial the Prosecutor made a pa
thetic Spiel about the Honest Laboring Man
who is done out OF his Money by Designing
Villains who live in the City. The Peers
who were trying the Case shifted their
Cuds and looked Serious. The Attorney
for the Defendant collected his Fee in Ad-
vance and then advised his Client 10 Plead
Guilty.
When the Evidence was in the Squire
gave the Twelve Good Men and True a few
Instructions. He said If they found the
Defendant Guilty they would receive Sl25
each in the Way of Fees. II they found
him Not Guilty they would get what the
boy shot at
The Jury was out about -Four Minutes
by the Watch. They Soaked him $40 and
Costs, especially the Costs. because that
was where the Home Talent came I'm. by
the time the Squire, the Marshal. the
Prosecutor. the Attorney for the Defense.
the Clerk and the Twelve Jurors cut into
the Eighty they had it reduced to $50.
After the Prisoner had settled the Squire
took him aside and told him he hoped
there would be no Hard Feelings. as they
merely lone their Duty, and to prove to
him that they didn't have it In for him they
would permit him TO Sit in a little Game OF
n " - " HH
Shop. They knew that he had the S53E.
The misguided CRATER thought he saw a
chance TO pull back some of his Stuff. so he
willingly consented to take a few Hands.
Now, a Man never knows what Poker is
until he gets into one Of these Country
Games back Of the Harness Shop. The
Outsider who butts against that Outfit
might as well Hand them his Money when
he goes in and then start for Home and get
some Sleep. No matter how long he stays
or how Close he plays them the Local Com
bine is going to Trim MIN and trim him
Right. because they need the Money. They
can't Lose. They are the Boys who in
vented Poker. They may not wear Link
Cuff Buttons and Red Vests or be Up on
the Songs of the Day, but when IL comes
to Realizing on what they Hold they are
so many Gala Lilies.
All the Money that went into that Cut
Throat Game was Money that the CRATER
had brought into Town with him. The
Squire. the Clerk. the Prosecutor. the At
torney for the Defense and the Marshal
pulled off their Coats and lit Nellie Gray"
Cigars and moved up TO the Table. and by
the Time they got through with Mr.. Graft
er they had the S53.75 and the Sstchel full
of Fake Jewelry. and he was putting Up
his Watch to get the Price of a Ticket 70
the Great City where the Slick People live.
IL you don't care what you say.
Meral-For a proper Shake-Down take the
Small Town.