The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-03
THE ART OF LETTING ALONE.
Only Those Who Practice II Are Be-
loved by GneHts.


Hospitality is as old as Abraham, who
was wont to stand at the door of his tent
to welcome the stranger he had espied in
the distance, with the best at his COM
mand. Today, as in the days of Queen
Isabella, the Spanish gentleman offers the
keys of his household to signify that
everything that he possesses is at the dis
posal Of his guests. Even the wild
Bedouin of the desert might teach our
modern hostess much in the way of
courtesy to guests. For, compared with
that of other ages and of other chimes.
the hospitality of our own land and time
must sometimes appear ungracious and
unlovely nm the extreme.
Surely no one would invite person to
Der home to make him unhappy, says an
exchange. At least, at first thought one
would be inclined to say so. But certain
II is that many a guest Is made extremely
miserable. Perhaps she is compelled to
rise at an unusual hour because the mas
ter OF the house must. take an early train
this early morning, perfunctory breakfast
Is not conducive to agreeable social Inter
course and ii ruins the day for many had
sleepers. Or possibly the guest finds her
self compelled to drives or walk, or play
tennis, when she would prefer to do al
most anything else; again she is obliged
to give UP the hours most precious to her
to listen to dull sermon, or to endure
the torture of wearisome and long
drawn out tete-a-tete with some stupid
relative or neighboF of her hostess in
whom she cannot be expected to have the
least interest. Many a guest who would
be both charming and charmed with her
visit If let alone, is literally talked to
death. The English woman is said TO be
the best hostess in the world-because she
is mistress of the art of letting alone.
1t costs little time and no money TO
find out what ones guest wishes to do
with her day, and to permit her to be
happy in her own way. This surely is the
truest hospitality. A hostess who invites
people to visit her has two very import
ant duties to perform, two serious ex-
tremes to avoid; one, not to neglect her
guests, and another-quite as important
not to weary them with too constant at
tention. Never give a guest the impress
sion OF being entertained" which is
more than sufficient to reduce a sensitive
woman to the very depths OF misery. Just
follow the daily routine of your house
hold, taking care that your guest is Meth
er neglected nor treated with discour-
tesy The hostess who allows a guest to
feel that she is the cause of inconveni-
ence, violates the first law of hospitality.
OF course, the pleasure of two friends
is generally mutual; but occasionally it is
quite the reverse, and where tastes and
habits differ each should respect the pc
culiarities of the other, and the guest
should have the enviable privilege OF
spending the day as she pleases; she need
not talk unless she chooses to do so, she
may take book and wander off under the
trees in summer, or in winter seek the
seclusion of the library: she may pass
quiet morning in her own room writing
letters or nursing an early headache. Even
the best OF friends give up the pleasure
of social intercourse for an hour of soii-
tude, and find it most refreshing.
There are many little courtesies which
the thoughtful hostess will not omit and
which will add materially to the comfort
and enjoyment of her friend. Few con-
veniences add more to the comfort of a
guest than those for letter-writing.
In the English guest chamber a small
writing desk is as essential part of the
furniture as the bed and is always abund-
antly supplied with paper and stamps, and
printed card showing the time of the ar
rival and closing of the mails; and the
latest novels and magazines are always at
hand.
So much for the hostess. On the other
hand there are certain little points which
should be observed by the guest. She should
never follow her hostess about. intruding
upon her valuable time. She should be
most careful not TO infringe upon the
rights of the master OF the house-spoil-
ing his dinner or his drive by being late.
Let her avoid topics of conversation dis
agreeable to him, and be especially care
full to refrain from abusing his friends or
the family dog.