davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

the Bills the Committee never asked him to make
an address. The Co1nmillee wanted Wind
TANNER who could move the Leaves on a Tree 700
feet distant. The .@dried-up Lawyer could write
Great Stuff that would charm Bird out of Tree,
but he did not have the Tubes to enable him to
Spout When he got up to talk it was all he could
hear himself: The Juries used to go to sleep
on him.. needed Megaphone. And he had about
as much Personal Magnetism an Undertakers AS
sstant.
The Runt lost msny a. Case because he could not
Bark at the Jury and pound Holes in a Table His
Briefs greatly admired by the Supreme
Court Also it known that he could draw up
copper-riveted Contract that would hold Water, but
a Pleader he was "a Pckerel.
time he had Important Suit on hand,
and he was Worried, for he opposed by a couple
of living Gas Engines who could race and down
in front of zap Jury for further Orders
81 have the Law on my Side" said the Runt
tsNow, if were only SixFeet-Two with soe-leather
Thorax, I could swing the Verdict
while was repining, in came Friend of his
Youth, named Jim. -
This jim was Book Agent He big as
the side of a House. He had Voice that sounded
sifsit came up an Shaft, When he folded
his Arms and looked Solemn, he was a colossal Plc-
r1lre of Power in Reposef He wore Plug Hat and
Senate but used up Material early in the job
and failed to stock the Brain Cavity.
Jim had always been at the Foot of the Class IN
School At the age of 40 he spelled Sure with an Sh
and sank in Heap when he tried to add and Z But
he was a tall Success Book Peddler because, he
learned his Piece and the rs POUNDS Oh Dgnlned ou-
periority did the Rest.
Wherever he went he commanded Respect he
could go into a range Hotel and sit down at the
Breakfast Table and say Please pass the Syrup
in a Tone that had all the majestic Significance of
an Official Utterance He would sit there in silent
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
BY BILLY MAC.


paving contract with his honor, and, Chris had time
to mix the cards right.
Compelled to up about 500 of Ibis Bit the main
simply overcome when he saw Chris stumble
into the executive works
there's honest citizen who will last about sixty
three seconds muttered the main guy. Hold your
finger the push. button SO keep within the
time limit, he ordered private secretary, then
Chris was called for speech
Chris bad actor, but he thought he
real and flashing the papers carried, tipped
off game to beat the big-mtt doing business
the route to India.
"What do get?" asked the mayor he winked
to the private secretary for the count.
why find shorter route to the markets Of
India, and
Chris had intended explaining his idea of a steam
ship line and backed up by subsidy, he selling
stock in his transportation company. but he back
ed in wrong and the mayor of Genoa knew
what he passed up. Chris first chance to break into
New York politics went by the deck
81 would suggest that you saunter well toward the
and pick out with a comfortable cushion"
said the The secretary caught the time as
59a seconds, and c. Coumbo disappointed, but still
possession of the papers and the bunch that he
picked the boy something, sneaked in by
the .Mrs. c. Columbo, Washlady sign and packed his
dress suit for trip to Portugal.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
Mr.. pooLEY ON TIE CELEBRATION At YALE.

upright arrest business do whn they are
let alone They be stamped out be laws or tn
decisions iv coors if have anything about it.
hostile Igsachion which is too frindlyr. Their
MirabOo, Frinchman, wanst excited thu Frnch pro-
1etoory rayvolt. What good came it? They made
France raypublic. that's ALL But something must be
done about tn thrusts. They must be destroyed or
they must not. How do it. TIL is found
tn hishry Yale. Whin steam discovered, she
nestn' undher TIL ellums iv New Haven. Whin
TIL tiygraft invinted, she nestled. She nestled
two hundherd years ago. She is still nest1in. ask
her profit tn example iv their amy mather
an nestle Whin things go wrong, nestle. Whn tn
country is alarmed, nestle. Do not attempt to de-
shroy tn hateful thrusts with harshS laws adverse
Hgisachion. Nestle. An there places to
nestle in thin good thrust. An if feather tn nes-
tle it's aisier ye'
"Wel, sir, I think twas good advice an I'm sure,
Hnnssy that tn assembled iv culture thought
well iv their degrees whin they got thin. What's
degree ye? degree is certyfcate fr m ladin
university entitn mother Hubbard in spite
iv tn polls 1t makes We doctor iv something an
ables ye to practice yeer profession. don't mind
tein ye Hinnissy, that if law which I'm
not, I'd pretty sick befure I'd call in
" tn doctors iv an FIR American
litlraehoor it don't need doctor much coro-
But anyhow degrees good things because they
livils Ivry public is entitled ex-oficio
all TIL degrees there An public private
escapes Ye haven't got we say? Ye will
though. Some day yell polsman fr m tn Uni
varsity Chicago at tn an yell hide undher tn
bed But he'll get an haul We out. Yell say: I
haven't done anything an he'll say: sYed betther
come along quite. I'm saryin' degree on We sfr m
President Harper. Some iv tn thrifter universities
is maxim degree tn alternytive w. fine Five dol
lars docthor v laws.
They NANNY handed out be Yale an to each
tn prisidnt said a wurruds explainin why he
got it, SOS hed know. F-read all TIL speeches. Kazoo
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

Power, would be the largest Dandelion in the Legal
Pasture" he said
Then a Happy Idea struck him amidshps.
.'Jim, want you to be my Associate Counsel he
said. 81 understand, of course that you do not know
the difference between Caveat and Caviar Sandwich.
but as long keep your Hair combed the way it
is and that Thoughtful Expression, you're
just good the whole Choate Family. will intro
duce you Eminent Attorney from the East I
will guard the Law Points you will sit and Dis1nay
the Opposition by looking Wise"
So when the Case UP for Trial, the Runt led
the august Jim into the Court Room and introduced
him Associate Counsel Al Murmur Admiration
Commanding Figure, Law Book under his Arm and
look of Heavy Responsibility his Face. Old Atlas,
who carries the Globe his Shoulders, did not
to be in it with this grand and gloomy Stranger.
For two hours Jim had been rehearsing his Speech
He
NYour Honor" he began.
At the Sound of that Voice, a scared Silence fell
upon the Court Room. It like the Lower Oc-
tave of a Pipe Organ.
"Your Honor said JIM I'VE ready for Trial.
The musical Rumble filed the Spacious Room and
went eehoing through the Corridor. The Sound beat
out through the Open Windows and checked Traffic in
the Street. 1t through the Telegraph Wires and
lifted every dropping Flag.
The Jurors turned Pale and began to culver. OPP
posing Counsel white Sheet Their mute
and frightened Faces seemed to ask, What up
against?"
Jim sat down and the Trial got under way
Whenever Jim got his Cue he and said, Your
Gentlemen of the jury quite agree with
my learned Colleague
Then he would relapse and throw Socrates
Frown Other Side would go all to Pieces
Every time Jim cleared his Throat, could hear
drop. There getting away from the dom-
mating Influence of the Master Mind
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03


had been passed down to the daughter. The little
church around the corner was worked and Chris had
the paper
Father-in-aw had been sailor, he had also been
married man. Being married he had always secured
certificate of arrival from every harbor master on
his delivery Chris tied himself to these cert
Gates.
had a chart of the west sea and chart of the
east sea- but the family bank was $3.50 shy of the
amount equip yacht Chris insisted that sore
had switched the bundles.
Christ not learyz of work. but he hated to let
the boss of his ward his family differences and
positively refused go the hall to look for labor
He needed the metal, but he had been steered up
against the wrong ticket and election was about one
year. seven months and four days away
Needing the dough, Chris started to stir up the
contents of his brain repository. case where
he had to realize on something and the charts We're
still in the family. With non-support proceedings star
ing him in the face Chris saw the papers, papers
started a bunch, and Chris grabbed the luneh
Many times Chris had heard his father-in-iaw tell
of the smooth workers who threshed the entlre
year round on the one route to India. and now Chris
decided few doings for the G. columbo COM
pany, limited.
AS Mrs Ceunabo still suffered from her bad ear,
Chris overlooked the suggested scuttle Of coal and
wandered down to the city hall. The aldermen from
the Eighth and Fourteenth wards Were ffamingsup
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
se 9s sg
EvENTIDE.

Dear Col. the heart is tuned to eager prayer
Touched by this glory of Thine eventide!
Peace, like benedction, unaware,
All silently hath folded care away
AS twilight shadows fold away the day
And all it's burning burden. Now the tide
OF mingled tears. and JOY and loneliness
Breaks meaning the heart its minor strain
While Memory, grief-raptured, keeps its tryst
With yesterday, and tells its beads again.
This is the Eastern-h hour of Memoryland
When Hope sits smiling at the open tomb
OF every buried joy! And hand in hand
axe walk across the misty silver hills
~ With ali the living dead. Immortal bloom
The waysdes where feet wont to
In the dearsdays when first learned loves tongue
And all tn lore of spring How wildly thrills
The he. TT at some lone crcket's plaintiVe lay
Which startles recollectiani Far away
An echo of. the night hath winged us home
Where vol and vision the Turing hills
OF youths Immortal dream drift tremblnsly
Across world forever and young!
BE with my soul o gift of magic mood
When slants the along LIES autumn slope
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

doethors iv lithrachoor stn in ambulances waitin
FIR a hurry call. thin ivry whit home 1
glad to rread about it, Hinnssy. 1t done me heart
good feel that boys must be boys whn they
An they'se NANNY things in TIL wurruld that ye
ought believe if We think they're not So
"D'ye think TIL colledges has much to do with TIN
progress iv tn wurrud?" asked Mr. Hennessy. %.
Dye think said Mr. Dooey, g tbs tn mill that
makes tn wather rum
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
BY F. P. dunno.

Kazama, professor iv fan pantin at TIL Univarsy iv
Takeeo because belong to an odher civilization thin
ours but losing it, to Wilium Beans, wanst idtor
iv tn Atlantic Monthly but not now to Arthur Somer-
set Soanso who wrote NANNY long stories but
short, to Markess Hkibomo Tito because he
around, to Fedor Fedorveh Fedorivnisky because he
come far
"An thin they great jubilation, an shootin
off iv fire wurruks an PONIES be oil graduates with tn
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

sHe inconspicuous little Runt"
but much learning had put him little bit to the
Niies. And his Size against him. He lacked
Bellows.
He nconspcuous little Runt. When he stood
up to Plead, he trife higher than the Chair.
OF the 80 pounds he carried about 45 Gray Mat
ter He had Mental Merchandise to burn but way
delivering il.
When there was a Rail of other Gabfest
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

That darkness find me not in solitude
But rather with the troops of memory
Keeping the watch upon the shutdown hill,
And from that watch arise serene to see
Above the 1nsts where all the night hangs chill,
Deaths first new star shine luminous hope
White on my dream of Immortality
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
BY LARRY HO.
HIS LITTLE sHooN.

The little shoon my darling used to
When Jared his steps adown the dewy way
Where doomed for him the first wild flowers of May,
take them softly from the where
They rest dust covered, now-O nevermore
For his dear little feet to wander in
All. Coll they trip mine heart now,
Through all lis tears remembering sadly how
1t once rejoccd in all the rapturous din
OF his loveaughter ripping gently DER
All till the soul nude of SIM
Dear it'll; shoen! In fairer realms than these
Your little master sings through dawnranced hourss
Down thoroughfares begirt with loveliest flowers.
And tuned to joy of birds and murnlurous trees!
He nevermore hath need of thee since where
He fareth or beneath the sunny Skies
Child-hearted still, with roses in his eyes
Bright buttercups and fairy dewbells, too.
Wreatns of the and pearls of morning dew
1A'ls Larry Ho.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

fathers house But if Paul was Twin today, he wud
go to Rome be tn Rome an Tarsus Transportation
line frstclass don't know where he'd get tn money
but he'd find it somewhere He'd go Rome first-cab
in an whin he was in Rome, he wud, President Had
ley's frind Cicero wud say tn Romans do SO be
Abraham Ye eas understand firm this brief sketch
what Yale has done She eontnyed nestle undher
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

ry out the Bluff. Little Boys tip-toed when they came
him, and Maiden Ladies sighed fer an 1ntroduc-
ton Nothing but a Post-Mortem Examination would
have shown Jim in his True Light The midget
Lawyer up in Envy at his mastodonie Acquant-
and sighed.
IF I could combine my Intellect with Horse
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

Meditation Those who sized that elephantine Form
and noted Gravity his Countenance and the
f1uted Wrinkles of his high Brow, imagined that he
was bordering the Immortality of the Soul. AS
matter of fact Jim wondering whether he would
take Ham Bacon with his Eggs.
Jim had the Bulk and the awe-inspiring Front.@AS
long as he preserved Napoeonic Silence he could
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
DEATHS DIVINITY.

loved her white soul as an angel may
Yet doubt did keep mated souls a-seFer,
Life held us Away separate-but today
Dee th kissed her eyes and made her mine forever.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03


Got kick a-comn' when the days is rainy wet
I've seen it rain afore now but the sun is shnin
yet,
And theys lots fun fer youngsters when its pourin
down, you bet
So I've got kick a-comin
When the
Days
Is
I've got no kick a-comn' in the fall er In the
spring,
Theys lots o flowers to bless me- and they's lots O.
birds to sing,
And this gool cid world is movn' in the smile of Cod
by jung
So I've got kick a-comin' in
The
Fall
Spring.
Let us whoop her up, Boys. Sing Glory Halelu!
Let us live forever i'll the sunshine and the dew
Let us sing the bright side we'd really ort to do,
Fer We We got kick a-comin
Whilst
Our
Hearts
Holds
True!
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
ELIZABETH.

Elizabeth! I wander meath the stars
Where yesternight like two bthe children free
We kept our trystng by the pasture bars
With only God to see
And that was yesterday Yet now I may
Not find thee anywhere though searching far
With all the stars of night to light my way
Where thy lips are!
Elizabeth! Elizabeth Mine heart
Cries ever over hill and babblfng streem;
Anh-findng thee-awaRens with start
it's sad dream 80
My lips shall find no answer through the years
Save silent whispers reaching over DEATH
And sping through their yoiceless tears
Elizabeth.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

: around
tn ellms iv New Haven TIL whole face " tn wur-
rlld has been changed will tn value iv nest
lin. wud apply tn method to thrusts " all
tn evils hreatenn tn body polite an tn
polytica bodies, these organizations an combna
lions vseaptaI perhaps best example ~ what
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
NARY A KICK.

@ I've got no kick a-cornin' the whole year round
This worlds about the best world guess I ever
found ,s9asl
They's danaeons and daisies smilin at me from the
ground,
So I've got Kick a-comn 1
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
Copyright. 1901, by
Robert Howard Russell.

sT see" said Mr. Dooley, that good OF Yale, be-
cause It makes feel hale drink her down, as Ho-
gan says, has been c1ybratin' her bicintinry.'
s whats that?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
siis what, said Mr.. Dooley, 'f it happened to YOU
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
BY GEORGE ABE.

dict was rendered the Runt who had provided every
thing except the Air Pressure nearly trampled
der foot in general Congratulate the dis.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03
Copyright, 1901, by
Robert Howard Russell.

THE Fable of the Attenuated Attorney
Who Rang II Associated Counsel.
Once there sawed-off Attorney who had studied
until he was Bleary around the Eyes and lean as
Razor-Bacl knew the Law from Soup to Nuts,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

Cot no kick a-comin when the winter days is here
Winter nights is glorious with the freside cheer
And a Teller keeps his soul in tune with them as ne
holds dear
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-03

tingushed Attorney from the East The Little Man
gathered his Books and did the customary Stink,
while the False Alarm stood in awful Silence and
Hand.
MORAL: An Associate Counsel should weigh at
least 200 Pounds.
The Iola register., 1901-04-19
Eczema, Itching HumOrs, Pimples.
Treatment Free.

Does your Skin Itch and Burn?
Distressing Eruptions on the Skin so
you feel ashamed to be in company?
Do Scabs and Scales form on the
Skin? Hair or Scalp? Have you
Eczema? Skin sore or Cracked? Rash
form on the Skin? Prickly pain in
the Skin? Swollen joints? Failing
Hair? All run down? Skin pale?
Old Sores? Eating Sores? Ulcers;
To cure to stay cured take B. B. B.
( Botanic Blood Balm) which makes
the blood pure and rich, then the
sores will heal and the itching OF
eczema will stop forever, the skin be-
come clear and the blood pure. B. B,
B. sold at drug stores at 81. Trial
treatment sent: free and prepaid by
writing to Blood Balm Co., Atlanta,
Ga. Describe your trouble and free
medical advice given. Over 5000 tes.
timonials of cures by B, B. B.
The Iola register., 1901-04-19
t'raternaI Aid Meeting.

AS briefly noted in last week S
REGISTER the Fraternal Aid people
held a district convention in lola
last Thursday to choose delegate
to the General Council. This district
comprises Allen, Woodson and An
derson counties and delegates were
here from Humboldt, Piqua, LaHarpe
and lola, while Colony, Elsmore and
Gas City were not represented. The
meeting was held in the K. P, hall in
the afternoon andJ. o. Brien, of Hum
boldt, was chosen delegate to the Gen.
eral council, and j. T. Tredway, of
LaHarpe, alternate.
After the business of the session
was over supper was served to the Wis
iting members andthis little habit was
turned into pleasant event. At 1.-THE
evening session there was an enjoya-
BILE program of recitations, songs and
declamations and ageneral good time
About fifty were present.
The Iola register., 1901-04-19
He Kent HIS Lee

Twelve years ago J. W. Sullivan,
Of Hartford, Conn, scratched HIS lee
with rusty wire. Inflammation and
blood poisoning set in. For two
years he suffered intensely. Then the
best doctors urged amputation, "but, -
he writes, 81 used one bottle of Elec-
trio Bitters and one and half ounces
OF Buckiet,'s Arnica Ssive and my leg
was sound and we'll as ever.' For
eruptfons, eczema, tetter, salt rheum,
sores and an blood disorders Electric
Bitters has no rival on earth. Try
them, Evans Bros. viii guarantees
them or refund money. Only soc. +
The Iola register., 1901-04-19

hair, and TO pass within the electric
radius of her presence again, II but
for moment. He was her guardian
whether she slept or awoke.
A strange curiosity TO be near
sleeping girl, to enter further into
her life and absorb the sweetness OF
its innocence, possessed him. She
would not know, she would never
know, perhaps; and why should he
not snatch from fate this one brief
moment of happiness? A doubt as
sailed him and brought hesitation;
but with an impatient gesture he
threw aside the hesitation. He would
not let even himself doubt himself.
And so he came and stood above the
sleeper, and presently, entranced, he
kneeled and saw her lying there,
vague, dim and unrecognizable, but a
girl asleep. Her face was towards
him upon the pillow and one hand lay
upon the edge Of her bed. So quietly
did she sleep she seemed not to
breathe. He watched her until a
tremor shook him from head 20 foot.
and a never before experienced con-
fusion seized upon his mind. Instinct
lively he leaned above her hand and
touched it with his lips-lightly, rev.
erently. She sighed and spoke his
name, and, overwhelmed with sudden
dismay he would have withdrawn, but
she seized his arms and cried out:
Light light!" And then, broken
ly: "Oh, sir, for the first time-I am
Il am-frightenedl" He sank his
face beside her, overwhelmed with
shame.
"It is half-past three" he said, brol-
emily; 81 must soon say farewell to
you"
'Oh, sir, will you not light the gasp"
Seeing that she still trembled, he
! arose and went to his chair.
"No," he said, calmly. But sleep
on. l shall not disturb you again"
And then presently she came, and,
kneeling in sudden abandon before
him, placed her hands upon his shoul
ders, her face close into his.
''I shall not let you leave me think.
ing that do not trust you," she said
"Oh, sir, kiss me now, my hands, my
hair, my lips If you will. trust i'm.
plicitlyl 1 trust you-yes, and
more, L"
Child, child, you do not know what
you are snying!" He covered his face
with his hand.
Child! No, woman! You do not
understands; It is you who are the
child. Listen. / was not asleep when
you struck a match and, turning you1
face from me, looked at your watch
l was awake, and / saw your face In
the glass across the room"
"You should not"
1T was an accident, and l thanked
God, for II has given me living mem
ory of the kindest friend since mother
died. 1t is not the first time, for you1
picture is in the doctors Office. He
did not know that l have hung over Il
fixing it in my mind-many-many
times-oh, will you, will you say thai
you wish to see meY Have you NJ
wish to remember me2"
Remember your shall carry win
me forever the sound of your voice
the touch of your hand, the perfum,
of every curl upon your head"
CONTINUED
The Iola register., 1901-04-19
CFirst published March q. 1907
Publication Notice,

In the District Court OF Alien County, Kan
sas.
John A'ndss' Ss Plaintiff NO. 1890
The. Mercantile prust
Company and w. S.
Bridges, Defendants
State OF Kansas. Allen County, IS. To John
Randall, the above named plaintin
I Yon are hereby notified shat the above
named defendant, The Mercantile Trust Com
pany, trustee, win on Tuesday the slst day of
MAYA ID. 1901, AZ so,clofk.R. "a OF said day,
or as soon thereafter as counsel can be heard,
make application 70 the District Conrt OF Al
len county, Kansas for an order, opening up
the Judgment heretofore rendered Ia the
above eutitled cause, on the 18th day OF March,
a, y. 1896, In your favor, and against this de-
feuuant, Tho Mercantile Trust Company, and
that Judgment will be rendered ut said time,
opening up the Judgment theretofore rem
deted in said cause, and letting this defendant,
The Mercantile Trust Company, In 70 defend
The service OF summons upon which said
Judgment Was based was by pr 1iication In
Wines my hand this 22nd day OF March
4, D. 1901. -. s. q. ARHwsTAR,
lBkkL1 =, 80. Clerk o. .tle Distfieh Court.
| John v. Aprphama. AttornesltoF defendant
The Iola register., 1901-04-19
Notice of Appointment.

Notice of Appointment.
State OF Kansas, Alien county, IS
In the matter OF the estate OF John w. Tay-
lor, late of Allen county, Kansas.
Notice is hereby given That on the second
day OF April, A. D.. 1901, the undersigned was
by the Probate court OF Allen county, Kansas,
duly appointed and qualified as administrator
OF the estate OF John Taylor. late of Allen
county, deceased. An parties Interested
said estate will take notice and govern them
selves accordingly
JAMES TAYLOR, Administrator.