The times., 1901-05-05
MR.. EVARTS' WIT AND HUMoR.
Some Bright Remarks Credited to
the Late New York Statesman.
(From the Argonaut.)

One of the most spontaneous of his re-
! corded bon mots occurred when he ana
| Lord Coleridge were one day standing on
| the banks of the Potomac, at Mount Yer
non:
rs it true" said Coleridge. that Wash
ington threw silver dollar across the Po-
! tomac@
1t is quite possible replied Mr.
Evarts, thoughtfully, for a dollar i'll
those days, my Lord. went farther than It
does now. But, indeed. Washington did
across the Atlantici
One day, in presiding at table at his
children about him, Mr.. Evarts is said to
have asked: What is the difference be-
! tween this goose before dinner and me
after?' After futile guessing. he an
sweTed, in quiet glee: Now the goose is
stuffed with sage, and soon the sage :
pointing to himself-''will be stuffed with
goose.
Once at a dinner many years ago in New
York, the guests of honor were leading
Englishman and a leading Frenchman. Mr..
EvartS presided. with one of them on his
right and the other on his left. and began
his post-prandial talk by oserving that II
was a nice question whether the English
man or the Frenchman was TO be named
the pick of humanity. AS for me. he
added, glancing from right TO left as he
spoke, Il prefer somthing-between the
two
Among the guests at a Washington din
ner AT which he was present was an emf
nent scientist.
Late in the evening Evarts suddenly at
tracted the general attention by saying to
the scientist: Professor, 1 should like to
ask you question: Why is ii that the
liquid at the bottom OF a bottle Il more
antoXicating than the liquor at the top?
The scientist. all unconscious of the run
lurking in the question. replied Wei, ]
never had my attention called to that
fact. Are YOU sure that il Is a fact2
Yes" rejoined Evarts, with a perfectly
grave face While the rest of the company
Ike =
men who have frequently found by actual
experience that ii is so.
Blaine at one time in his career was, as
regards consular officers. IN favor OF nm
tied tenure Of office-oT. at any rate. he
believed it to be for the good of the ser
vice to change consuls from office TO Of
fee occasionally. in order to gain wider
and more varied experience
He sat in his room at the State Depart
ment one day discussing different matters
of public interest with Mr. Evarts, then
his immediate predecessor in Office.
Now. here, said he, is a case in point.
| This man has been Consul at Tn Hung tor
twenty years. He went there at the time
of the war. and has remained there ever
since. 1T is time he came home and got
acquainted with his own country before
he grows a queue. If he stays much lon
ger he will have a Chinese bias in his
sight. 1 shall remove him at once.
Il wouldn't remove him. Mr.. Secretary,
replied Mr.. Evarts, quietly.
Why not o.
Il am afraid it viii be an unpleasant
thing to do. To be vulgar, I fear it will
make a stink.
My mind is made up. replied Mr..
Blaine. AS soon I can find good,
live man to take his place 1 shall remove
him
But l think you will have grave diff
Guilty in finding good live mar who
would be willing to take his place.
Il anticipate no such difficulty. But will
you explain to me Mr. Evarts why there
will be any difficulty. and-I confess I fail
to Il Ffaxr
expression, make q stink.
Because the man has been dead and
buried these six months, Mr.. Secretary
It Is said that Mr.. EYarts was once go
ing up in the elevator at the State De-
partment with many applicants for min
isterships and cOnsulships. We'll, said
he to a friend, this is the largest coIeC-
tion for foreign missions that has been
taken up for a long time.