The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-12-10

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Luck Enough.
The man who sits up late o night
Ana burning thoughts essays TO write
should not complain because his name
is never handed down 10 fame.
iiis lot IS lucky if he's missed
Nepfo'ches as plagarist.
Washington star
Acme OF Assurance.
us he conceited:"
"CoEceitcd, Why. be actually thinks
he understands women. Chicago
Post.
Deep Consideration.
SO YOU won't chop the wood?"
IN afraid replied Meaudering
Mike. dat de exercise would start an
appetite dat 'ud treSpass on your hos
pitality."
Breath.
An air trust will be the next thing,
l suppose"
Gracious. Now, that would be
enough TO take ones breath awayr'-
Detroit Free Press
Happy Man.
Mrs. Honll-" Pears TO me that our
new neighbor, Mr. Sawney, is pretty
incident"
Farmer Honk-"Yes. he is so blamed
lazy that he actually don't worry
about anythiug."-Harper's Bazaar.
An Acknowle dgmont.
"a man sometimes attaches great
deal of Importance to himself" re-
marked Mr.. Meekton's wife.
Yes answered I.eonldas with a
Chesterheldian air, especially when
he gets married Washington Star.
Saved His Money.
Il once invented a dying machine"
said the thoughtful man.
Did you have any better luck than
other inventors in that heldE"
Yes. 1t didn't take me as long to
ind out that it wouldn't Ay."-Wash-
ington Star.
Effective.
did your new alarm clock get YOU
out on time in the morning." asked
the salesman
1t did" answered the nervous man.
Il couldn't fail to be awake OH time.
l got to thinking about the noise it
was going to make and | couldn't sleep
all night. Star.
Hopeless Case.
And this oneY we said, indicat-
ing Il patient lit the insane asylum.
Hopeless case" was the reply.
Thinks he has discovered perpetual
motion"
And the next oneE'
still more hopeless Claims to
have solved the servant-girl question"
-Harper's Bazaar.
No Model.
Il know a man whose wife never
spoke u word to him about money"
he said
What u model husband he must
have been" remarked a woman in
the company.
What model wife, L should say
rather corrected a second man.
Il don't know as to that" said the
first speaker She was deaf and
dumb. Salt Lake Herald.
He Could Believe II.
You wouldn't suppose" she said
when she had succeeded in getting the
grizzled old warrior backed up in the
corner, that l had been married three
times, would you?"
'Oh, l don't know" he replied, leap
Ing over piano stool and making his
escape, some men are not as spry as
L am, and consequently they have to
surrender when they find themselves
surrounded."-Chicago Record II craId.
Inherited Proves.
"To what asked the young woman
with the note book, do you attribute
your remarkable power i'm training
'HSSc ahlHidlS ana keeping Them in
subjection?"
We'll" replied Mile. Castella. the
Lady Wonder Of the Arena. II think
inherited it from my mother. She
was strong minded woman Ny
father was a regular bear, and she
had to Subdue him about once a day
as long as she liYed."-Chicago Tri.
bune.
Loves Grammar.
Il wish l dared TO ask you some
thing. Miss Mile" said Archey. with
trembling voice and wabbling chin.
why don't you dare to ask itT' the
maiden said, demurely.
Because 1 can see no Ia your
eyes"
In both of thcmf"
Yves"
well. don't you-don't you know
two negatives are equivalent to an
how dare you. sir, Take your arm
from around my waist. Instantly
But he didn't-ChicagO Tribune.
The Cause OF the war.
First Soldier (aftcr missing a Boer)