Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-03-13
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The average man doesn't learn how
to live until he is about ready TO die
Chicago News.
Diner-1sn't that rather small
steak2 Waiter-Yes, sir; but you'll
find 1t will take you a good while to
eat 1t.
Chollie-She called me an idiot. Mol
lie-Indeed! l didn't think she knew
you well enough for thatl-Yonkers
Statesman.
Nellie-Gracious! How do you man.
age to knit so much In so short time?
Ninette-Every time | do ten rows l
give myself n chocolate cream.
Hoax TAT the theater)-See those
three fellows and three girls In the
box? They are all engaged. Joax-
Sort of matchbox. isn't it?-Phila-
delphia Record.
Charitable Old Lady-Poor woman!
And are you widow Beggar-Worse
than a widow, ma'am. Me husbands
livin', an have to support him.-Glas-
gov Evening Times.
"What do you think of this scheme
of telegraphlng without wires2" "Thats
nothing new. My wife has kicked my
shins under the table for twenty
years."-What to Eat.
Harry-It was kind of you, old fell
low, to look after my girl while l was
away. How can l ever repay your
Fred-Well, l still owe the livery sta
BILE man.--The Smart Set.
Are you suffering from cold?" mo.
My trouble started with n cold, but
took all the remedies my friends pre-
scribed and they are what am suffer
Ing from ow."-Washington Star.
Husband (returning from his first
ascent In Il balloon)-Just think Of 1t,
Alice; ascended $4,000 feet In the air.
Young Wife-And you brought back
nothing for me!-Fliegende Blaetter.
Jane-It is always n surprise to me
what lot of homely women get mar
ried. Bertha-No doubt 1t Is n refec-
tion which gives you great deal Of
encouragement, dear.-Boston Tran
script.
|
Is successful, they mean that they
found what they looked for and cut 1t
out; they don't mean that the patient
has recovered or will recover.-Atchi-
son Globe.
"That woman made me what | am"
"Ah, how long have you been mar
riedT' "Oh, we're not married at all.
She wouldn't have me, and 1t made me
so mad l got a move on."-Tndianapo-
lis Journal
as there any danger of the boa con-
strictor's biting me?" asked lady
visitor at the geological gardens. mot
the least, ma'am," cried the keeper;
wittles whole."-Tit-Bits.
Ethel-When a man talks all by him
self, what Is that called? Mamma
Why, that's called "monologue." "Oh,
l see. When the cats get to talking
on the fence, that's catalogue isn't
itY'-Phlladelphia Record.
Visitor (angrily)-See here, sir. You
called me a political jobber In your
paper this morning. Editor-Yes, but
that was q mistake. Visitor-Ah! You
admit that. Editor-Certalniy. wrote
+, "robber" very plainly.-Philadelphia
Press.
Poet-Pye called to see about the
poem left here last week. Editor
, What was it? Poet-It was a realistic
piece, entitled "The Gallant Fireman"
Editor-I'm afraid it was too realistic.
: 1t probably went to the flre.-Philadel-
! phia Press.
New Reporter (tired out)-To-day is
Saturday, and you know this State
! now has Saturday half-holiday law
which City Editor-By Jinks!
nearly forgot 1t. Rush out and get up
a five-column article on how the day
: is being observed.-New York Weekly.
Mrs Housekeep-Why don't you go
to work? Weary Walker-Well. lady,
: yer see I'm wat yer might call an "un-
happy medium" Mrs. Housekeep-ln-
, deed? And what do you mean by
that? Weary Walker-Why, Pm too
heavy fur light work and too light fur
heavy work.--Philadelpha Press.
MISS DulllOut- <Auoaphuo, hiuSs
not listen to you! My parents would
never consent to my marriage with
man who had to work for his living!
Adolphus-But I'm an artist, dearest.
Miss Bullion-True-but you sell your
J picturesl Adolphus-Oh, darling you
4 wrong me. paint pictures that don't
: sell.-Tit- Bits.
Old Merchant-Before l answer your
request for my daughters hand per-
NIT me to ask what Is your yearly In
come, sir? Young Man-All told, 1t
' amounts to $500. Old Merchant-H'm!
Q To that would be added the interest
n at 4 per cent on the sum Of 100000
= that intend to give my daughter for
her dowry. Young MAXWELL, the
fact is | have taken the liberty of in