The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-08-08
sCH0oLBOY HUMoR

chambers Journal
10 the majority of people, perhaps,
a schoolmaster's life appears monoton-
Gus and uneyentful, but to one who is
apt to look upon the humorous side of
things this is far from being the fact
Most boys are careless, irresponsible
creatures, certainly but there is fund
OF genuine, unadulterated humor in the
aver age boy. A -schoolmaster of fifteen
years standing writes: II have correct
ca, l might say, a few thousand exam
matt IN papers in my time. Some of the
answers to questions set down are won
derfully funny and OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
~ funny" The following are specimens:
A boy aged ten thus answers a ques-
ton as to the cause of the Transvaal
disturbances: .'Krugger and Hammer
builsm is one. He is a man of blud Mr.
Chamberling has wrote to him sayin
come out and fife or else give I'D the
bud of the English you have took. He
Is boardutehman and a. wickid heethin
lord Kitchener has sent for mis- goary
blud and to bring back his scanderius
he'd ded or alive" -s.sl
An essay on Gladstone by a boy of
eleven states: Mr.. Gladstone lovd ey-
erybody he loved publicans and Gin
ners ana irishmen. he wanted the irish
to come to England and have home rool
but Mr.. Chamberlin says, no, no. so
alars he got his blud up and killd Mr.
Pa1nel Mr. Gladstone died with great
inspect and is burrid in Westminster
with pieceful ashes"
Rather ambiguous is this descrintior
oil Queen Elizabeth by another bow:
queen Elizabeth was Yurgin queen
ana she was never marrid she was so
Iond OF dresses that she was never seen
without one on. she was beautefull and
clever with red he'd and freckles."
The boy writer of the following is de-
cldedly backward in mis- Tennyson Con-
ceIllng the late poet laureate he writes:
Tenyson wrote buteifull poims with long
hair and STUDIO so much that he sed
Inother VIII you call me airly dear? his
most grat1st poim is called the idle king
lie was made lord but he was a good
man and wrote many hoads. he h1vd
our dear Queen so much that he made
POM to her called the fairy Queen"
announcer boy wishes to become an editor
IN an essay on THE Choice of a Profess
Sion ne gives has reasons in these words.
"A edItur is always a happy man because
ne can read luvly tales and artikles All
DAY and pages Of sweet luv poems
good edltur has branes, but it must he
very sad for him having to read meIan
Kolle stories of luV so as 10 mako. him
almost weep with tears from his eyes. a
edltur is ricn man because he never
pays Tor artfkels and so mas all this in
terlect for nothing"
one could hardly Iut the following. ideas
OF certain youth on *flonesty'' to a
practical use: 1T IS a noble thing to be
a hon1st man. If You are a honist man
you can look the Wcrld in it's face and
never be ashamed of the devill ii is good
TO De honlSt when sum one is looking be.
caws you may get a Reward. 1 know
concentrating who is honist man who
collects money on Sunday in his black
ciothes. II you are honest when you are
young you may grow to be rich and the
lcrd mare and then of caws it dusnit mat
ter"
This is from an essay on my Hero:
My hero is my father because he is a
Chrlstyun clergyman. my father saws O
my son gro up like your father and rispect
yourself because nobody else will Inspect
you. l am goin' to be a clergyman be-
cause my father says 1 am a ass in school
ana nave no branes to get a Twin in oiz-
Mss
Shakespeare is hardly appreciated by
the young hopeful who writes: Shake
speare was a Janus poit and poachur he
wrote luvly PLACE called the tame shrew,
hambiet and a scotch piece called Mac
ooogul In Shakespeare time some of the
Place We're very rude but now everything
is SO polite that a inherent father can
lake MS baby and it wont disgust it.
Shakespeare was so i'll when he died that
ne cried out oh my cursid bones"
one youth, who is poet in embryo. is
great admirer Of Longfellow. "Longfel-
low, he says, wrote crate poem called
The brik.' he butefully poemises in this
way-I stood on a brik at midnight aSd
gazed at the clock for an hour
A boy, mourning the loss of an uncle,
writes the following letter to his mater:
Dear Reverend Sir. am injoying my
holidays and have only been i'll twice my
unkel died with being old in three days
larst week, and we have had a pleasant
fewneral l want to work in my arlthne-
tic sir as you sed but 1t would be wickid
If did 1t with ded unkel. my father
says if I don't get prize next term sum-
thing will happen am sir Your rispect-
abul pupil. John