The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-08-06
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NJ. M. MgRDocK, Editor.
LETTER-WRITING cHuMPs.

LETTER-wRiTINe cHUMPs.
Since the publication Of several queer proposals to Miss
Zeal in the Eage-such proposals coming from individuals
in many sections United staes-the question
been general in this vicinity: How could any be
fool enough?"
The reference is this Miss Beal drew the opportunity
Of making second choice of all the in the Lawton
district Her choice viii be worth 100000 that neigh
borhood The newspapers all over the country set down
with their usual penchant for exaggraon at $4,000 She
Is receiveng each day bushel less, letters
from men young and old craving the favor correspond
Ing proposing marriage and all in terms less art
fu OF all the letters very written in spirit
pleasantly. The saddest thing about that most
them are serious.
Now how could any man figure out that his letter could
secure him an audience favorable consideration clear
him Of immediate suspicion that it the farm that
attracted him?
The answer is that the tribe Of chumps did not end
with the nineteenth century. The who writes such
letter thinks Individual beyond his limited
Intelligence to know that he is species. blood is
poor his training rotten his education superficial his
horse sense nil With the world chock full Of reading mat
ter he is man who doesn't read anything but cheap
story papers He knows nothing his time, his fellow
men, their motives No good sense gets into his brain
rdicue ever reaches him. and the course Of years all
his elements change into single one-vanty. mans
capacity for vanity enlarges with his ignorance.
All these letters were written by the same kind Of
men Their letters show that nearly all Of them
our common schooe education their penmanshp is first
class their photography correct grammatical construction
good. Some Of them have been to college Each one Of
them his letter under practically the same crcum-
stances He heard some one speak Of it. interested
him. he borrowed paper with tongue ong out and
wet forefnger he searched out incident
address He felt that when he came upon
that write her letter he had found
marveousy bright project didn't believe that anybody
else on earth had thought He believed that when
Miss Bea received his message she would pause and con
slider its every word its tone makeup would
dream about it, and feel the thrill Of an awakened
affinity
He could not imagine the murderously cheap effect
love letter when they arriving by the bushe
he could he would not be wholly a chump.
He was simply a plain unvarnished chump Heaven
could him anything else. Our educational sys-
tenn could let it be said with there
some individuals living who were born five hun
ded years too late on whom modern education while
wasted, is gliding soft pine.
So the letters viii continue to arrive from men who
say they ARE considered handsome with the daily posi-
biHes OF Miss Beal finally getting up "ChumD Drec
tory" Of the United States daily increasing.
Now, in the case of the gentlemen who were drawn
number each Of the districts they deluged
with letters from limiting at marriage and their
names have gone just far Miss BeaIs No woman in
the United States wants to open up correspondence with
them No woman is fool enough to write such letter
The plain fact is that there are more chump men in
The world than there are chump women.