Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-02-21

ing in on us, sir.-I'hiladelphia Press.
Mrs. Cobwigger-So they are not in
your set! Mrs. Proudfut-No, indeed
They go to u gymnasium, while we ut.
tend physical culture class.-Judge.
Husband (angrily)-Don't forget,
madam, that you are my wife. Wife
oh, never fear. There are some
things one can't forget.-DetrOit Free
Press.
TOwne-That was rather dsreputa-
ble-looking man you just spoke to.
Brown-Sir! that was my brother"
Towne-Oh, beg pardon; might have
known that.-Tit3its.
TIL, Indignant Citizen-Don't drag
my name into print in connection with
this absurd affair, but if you do be sure
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
In the awful presence: flush! Not
SO loud. We re having conference Of
the Powers" "Eh; who Is confer.
ring!" my wife, my mother-in-law,
and the cook!'-Tit- Bits.
Caller-Is Mrs. Kahippe at home?
Ellen Gust over)-No. mum. Caller-Do
you know where she has gone? Ellen
Yis, mum. Up-shtairs, be the back
way.-Chicago Times Herald.
Mistress (astounded)-YOu can't read,
Norah! Good gracious! How did you
ever learn to cook SO well! New Cook
-Shure. mum. OF lay it t not bein' able
t. rade TIL cook books.-Brooklyn Life.
Judge-This lady says you threw
both arms around hel waist while try
ing to get her pocketbook. Prisoner
was simply maxim love to de lady.
your honor. l am foreign nobleman!
Puck.
Blanche-Oh, girls! put a piece Of
Mays wedding cake under my pillow
last night. and" The girls (breath-
lessly)-What happened? Blanche-l
ate it all before went to sleep!-Brook-
lyn Life.
Medical Consultation: "How do you
find me, doctor?" Every bad. You are
worn out and it IS necessary that you
give up all head work." THAT would
ruin me, doctor. Don't you know I'm
barber?"-Ex.
Invaluable Assistant - Did that
wealthy bridal couple have many
trunks? Trunks? They keep a H.
brarian who doesn't do anything but
take care OF the trunk catalogues"
Indianapolis Journal.
High Stately: Captain-What 10
strategy In war? Give me an instance
of it. Irish Sergeant-Well, strategy
Is when We don't let the enemy dis
cover We are out Of ammunition. but
keep right on tirin'.-Tit-Rits.
well. Borus," said Naggus, the en-
inent literary critic, IL see you began
the new century right" Flows that|
asked Borus the struggling author. II
don't understand" You didn't write
any poem about it."-Chicago Tribune.
IL wish to see a bonnet" said Miss
Passee, aged forty. For yourself,
missy" inquired the French milliner.
Eyes" marie. run downstairs, and
get me hats for ladies between eighteen
and Twenty-Five" Bonnet sold.-Tit-
Bits.
what do you think my mother-in-
law says" Goodness knows! What
is it," "She says when get rich she
wants me to put moving sidewalk
on our block. so she can sit on 1t and
sew, and get in all the news."-lndian-
apolis journal.
HAS he any show at all in public
life:" asked one politician. "Only one.
There is the remote possibility that his
enemies will abuse him so continuously
that lot Of people will get sorry for
him and vote for him out Of sympathy"
Washington Star.
Miss Streeter-l should think It
would be horrid standing behind the
counter all day. Miss Kashkaller-Not
nearly so bad as standing In front OF It
for only a little while. There are no
bargain crowds on my side. you know.
Boston Transcript.
Styles-I do hate to see a woman
hanging on to a strap In street-car.
Barton-And so you always give wo.
man a seat when you have one to give.
Styles-No, l never 60 quite so far as
that. | give my whole attention to my
newspaper. you see. In that way my
sight is not offended by the poor. weary
woman.-Boston Transcript.
do you subscribe to this statement
that a woman ought to look up to her
husband?" inquired Mr.. Meekton's wife.
"Well, Henrietta" he answered, eau
tiously, ~ do think that when there 10
any picture hanging or anything like
that going on in the house it's mans
duty to assume the position Of perilous
responsibility at the top OF the STEP
ladder. "-Washington Star.
"Henrietta." said Mr.. Meekton. did
you say you bought this necktie be-
cause you thought 1t suited me per-
fectly:" "Yes." "Well. I'm glad to
hear it. I'm going to wear 1t and 80
out into the world with renewed hope
and courage. You know it's an old say
Ing that handsome men are not as
rule the ones who really achieve
things ."-Washngton Star.
First Clothing Salesman-I do hate to
have a man bring in his wife when he