davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
81OO REWARD 800.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure in all its
stages, and that is catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure
is the only positive cure known to the medical
fraternity. Catsrrh being constitutional dis
ease, requires a constitutional treatment.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces
OF the system. thereby destroying the founda-
ton of the disease. and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work. The pro.
prietors have SO much faith in its curative
powers, that they offer One Hundred Dollars
Tor any case that 1t fails to cure. Send for list
OF testimonials Address
F:J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo,O.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
New York.phiI.d.lphl. Trolley Line.

Plans are about completed to close
up the gaps between New York and
Philadelphia and complete a trolley
line between the two big cities. The
tracks of a couple of steam roads are
to be used for portion of the way
and high rate of speed is expected.
The promoters say that the full fare
each way will be 81. The round trip
between the two places by steam is 81.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Frank
Frank.
1ere we were set upon and beaten

Here we were set upon and beaten
with clubs.
"Murder!" cried Ardley, impulsively.
A subtle something told me he was
wrong.
"You are college students, are you
not" said l, addressing our assailants.
1--WE are" said they, civilly.
'1t Is as 1 thought" said I, turning
to my companion. "This is not murder
at all, but prank, merelyw
Ardley was covered with confusion,
and vowed he should never forgive
himself, although the students, with
rare good breeding, affected to make
light Of it.-Detroit Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
An Observing Actor.

II am in luck" said the tragedian.
Il have just received an annual pass
over the Central railway"
'How in the world did that hap
pen?" asked the comedian.
Recognition of valuable services.
After our return from our last trip ]
reported to the general manager 81
defective ties, any one of which might
have caused a wreck"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
A Low.Priced Worker.

A Jersey farmer visiting New York,
stood looking at a sign in book store
window: Dickens Works All This
Week for Two Dollars "
"Wall, he remarked, "my 'pinion
is that Dickens feller is either a
mighty poor workman or else he's
confounded hard up for Job. !"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
WoFiFs on M Go1d-
His Status.

VVOFND OHs 4sED OWH0G
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure q cold in
one day. No cure, No Pay. Price Is cents.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
His Voiceless Grief.

Tilets-Tryder looked very sad
when he heard that telephoning across
the ocean is possible.
Crustham-I suppose he did, poor
fellow. 1t will be an unhappy day
for him when he cannot get beyond
the reach of his wife's voice.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

bolds out the helping hand to you, and
will advise you without money and
without price. Mrs. Pinkham's labora-
tory is at Lynn, Mass. Write letter
there telling all your symptoms and
get the benefit Of the greatest expert
ence in treating female ills.
II was suffering to such an extent
from ovarian trouble that my physi-
clan thought an operation would be
necessary.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
round having been recommended to
me, decided to try it. After using
several bottles 1 found that I was
cured. My entire system was toned
up, and I suffered no more with my
ovaries. "-MRs. ANNA ASTON, Troy. Mo.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Good Time Commins, Girls.

"The girls that are growing up now
will have one important advantage
over the young married women OF
today"
whats that?"
"Their husbands will not be con.
tinually telling them of the fine cook
ing their mothers used to do"
"How do you know"
Because the cook won't allow the
mothers of the coming race to sticl
their noses into the kitchen"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Loss of Appetite
Is Loss Of Vitality, vigor, Tone.

That stands to reason.
1t is common in the Spring, when
the blood, which needs cleansing, fails
% give. the organs the stimulus nee
essary for the proper performance
of their functions.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

''Look here, my dear, 1 cannot
afford to entertain on such scale as
you have INDUCED in of late" E"
John, really believe you are just
the kind of man who would be per-
fectly happy if you lived within your
income.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
First Submarine Cable.

The first submarine cable was laid across
the English Channel about fifty years ago.
1t was also about the same time that Hos
tettler's Stomach Bitters, the world re-
nowned dyspepsia cure, was first iutro-
duced to the public. If you are sufferer
from this ailment. or from indigestion fla
tulency, constipation, nervousness or in
somnia you should try it at once, if YOU
would be well. 1t will strengthen your Ell.
tire system and produce sound sleep.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
What is
OvaF-HiS 2

A dull, throbbing pain, accompanied
by . sense Of tenderness and heat low
shooting pain, indicates Inflammation.
On examination it will be found that
the region Of pain shows some swell
ing. This is the first stage of ovaritis,
Inflammation of the ovary. If the roof
Of your house leaks, my sister, you have
fixed at once /; why not pay the same
.spect to your own body?
You need not, you ought not to let
yourself 60, when one Of your own sex
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Critic-Not bad stretch of land
scape, but haven't you laid out more
than enough of it in water?
Artist-Not a bit of it. The pic
ture is for client who has made his
money in stock watering operations.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Break in China.

every time you open your mouth, ="
said the elderly and envious, but pleb-
ian aunt, ''you put your foot in it. -
"And this is something, you know, "
pleasantly replied the wife of the
mandarin, looking at the relatives
ample understanding, "you couldn't t
possibly do it. -
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
TactfuI.

Miss Withers Showing photograph
of hersef)-I'm afraid it's rather
faded.
Binks inexperienced, aged 19)-
Yes, but it's just like you.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

The Man Ito applicant for alms)-
Poor woman have you no husband to
earn living for you.
The Woman-I have husband, sir,
but he is too busy to work
'Indeed! What is he doing?"
Trusting in Providence.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
RAalism,

"What is that sound like rainstorm
that hear from the floor above?"
"Why,. that's our patent rain appara-
aus. It's for the convenience and sat
lsfaction Of umbrella buyers who want
to test their purchases" Cleveland
Plaindealer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

"You ought to see my cottage In
the woods" said the popular emo
tional actress.
MAKE it out of Northern pine?"
asked some one.
"Not at all, she replied, in her
light comedy manner, 81 made it out
of East Lynne"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
An Amendment. A

'"rhe man who shoots us out of sea-
son is to be fined"
"Fined? Goodness, ma! If they real
ly want to stop ii, why don't they i'm
prison him for life or electrocute him p
Puck
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Boulevard to Cross Ohio.

The owners of automobiles in Ohio
constitute new force in the good
roads movement. There is plan
now under way for the building of a
boulevard from one end of the state
to the other, touching the cities and
largest towns.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Placing the Blame.

"My DEAR said the meek Mr.. Newli-
wed, 81 don't like to complain, but this
omelet you made"
whats the matter with it?" she in
quired.
"Well-er-it's rather hard to cut it,
and"
Gracious! I was afraid that man
would send me tough eggs. I'll stop
dealing with him."-Philadelp Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
A FiHsRstsi Qaitksssd,

Would you like aa increase Of
salary, Mr.. SMITH"
mo; It's no Hss."
"N0 user"
"1f ] had more m6Iey ! would
have 70 pay more delts. ~
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Wanted-a Million.

eff I had only $1,000, O,OOO!" ex-
claimed an angry father.
"What would you do?" asked the
wayward son.
''I'd disinherit you the first thingp'
replied the old man as he took large
hunk from plug of tobacco.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Wireless TeIesraphy on Atlantic.

Professor R. A. Fessenden, with
his assistants, has installed wireless
telegraphy station not far from Cape
Hatteras, off Roanoke island, N. G..
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
g MAr~
This signature is on every box Of the genuine
Laxative BromO-Q -Quinine Tablets
the remedy that cures q cold i'm ONE day
An Error Of judgement.

A colored citizen gave justice of
the peace big fat possum as a we'd
ding fee. Meeting the groom a year
after, the justice said:
"Well, Jim, how do you like mar
ried life?"
"Well, sah," was the reply, "all
kin say is 4 wish I'd eat that pos
sum-"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
The Last Ditch.

"It may seem like Dragging" said
the Englishman, throwing down his
newspaper in disgust, ''but if this
Boer war was being fought out on the
sea there'd be different story to
tell -
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
A Movable Possession,

"John, you bring home a different
umbrella every day"
"Well, I can't held it; as soon as l
pick up one that should like to hang
on to, some other man in the Office
claims it. -
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Negative Fame.

'Well I see they are going to have
real naval arch. +"
whats the idea of that?"
ooh, suppose it's to commemorate
the way Dewey has been forgotten. :"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Develop and print your own pict-
ures. Complete outfits for printing
and developing 31ax3@ to 4x5 pict-
ures, $1.50 and $3.50. Kirk, Geary &
Co, $50 Sutter St., San Francicso,
Cal
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Disestihility of Foods.

Rice, raw eggs and boiIed venison
require only one hour to digest. AT
the other end are pork, roast beef,
cabbage and hard eggs, which require
four to five hours.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
A Real Dramatic Treat,

Abe Chinwhiskers-D Did you see
Sary Bernhardt play she was a man
when you was ter Moo York, Josh?
Joshua Geehaw- Humph! Bet
tern that! 1 see whole minstrel
troupe made up of women.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Bicycles of the World.

At the present time there are at
least 10, 900, 900 bicycles in the world
and the number is increasing at the
rate Of l, $50, 900 a year.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Good Health comes to those who take the
great herb blood purifier, Garfield Tea;
it cleanses the system and cures digest
i've disorders. All druggists sell it.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Garfield Tea is the most used, the best
liked and is the original herb tea for
the cure of constipation and sick headache.
1t stregthens the digestive organs.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
As She Understood II,

Boston Girl-Have you read Emer-
son?
St Louis Girl-No, I guess not,
those red spots on my face are just
common pimples.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
A Stumpsr For the M. I

Maid Ito absent minded invalid)-
The doctor is here, sir.
Absent minded invalid-Well, Just
you tell him that am not able to
see any one today.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Cross Tobias.

"But, my dear Tobias, remember
that you may die at any time"
"Die, did you say? Die? That's
the last thing I'll do.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
When Charm Meets Charm.

Mr.. Jackson-I done hab my rab-
bits foot erlong, but she give me de
mahble heaht, jes' same.
Mr.. Johnson-Mebbe she hab her
rabbits foot erlong, too!
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Enssssmsnt coniIdsnss.

"You trust me thoroughly, don t
you, Ethel7"
"of course, Edgar; but tell me, are
the iBstallmeBts on this diamond
ring ali paid OFF,"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
A TyDoQraphical Error.

A young lady wrote some verses for
local paper about her birthday, and
headed them MAY 30th." 1t almost
made her hair turn gray when it ap-
peared in print. "My GOTH
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Our 1901 catalog contains full list
of everything needed for Photographic
purposes. The fullest line of amateur
goods in the west. Kirk, Geary &
Co., $50 Sutter St., San Francisco.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Not Hard to Suit.

Executive I would appoint your
man, but he is too ignorant for the
police force.
Heeler-Den put him on de school
board.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
The Seasons Courtesie,.

Ice Man-Good by, old man; I'm
glad you had such severe winter.
Coal Man-So long; I wish you a
sizzling summer
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
An Old Instrument,

Violinist (proudly)-The instru.
ment that l shall use at your house
tomorrow is over 200 years old.
Parvenu-Oh, never mind! It's
good enough. No one will know the
difference.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
An InsuperabIe Bar.

The New Yorker-I suppose chess
is popular game in the Quaker city?
The Philadelphian-No; it's played
very seldom.
"Why, I supposed it being such a
slow game you people would like it. ~
mo; you see we'd have to stay
awake to play it"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Expressive.

''Who is that girl with a face full
of freckles over yonder?"
,sShe's recent importation from
Switzerland
"Ah, | see! Dotted Swiss!'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Greek Meets Greek.

''What do you think my husband
does when my mother comes to see
us?"
81 never guess.
'He writes for his mother to come
too"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
On the Enemy's Fire, of Course

81 think the enemy has got our
range, captain" said the officer of the
day.
''How in the world are we to cook our
dinner" replied the captain, absent
mindedly.-What to Eat
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Hoods CdrSdpdriild

cleanses the blood, restores appetite,
gives vitality, vigor, tone this is
one of the reasons why it's called the
Greatest Spring Medicine.
Take it.
II have taken Hoods sarsaparilla and
it has created good appetite and cleansed
my blood" ADoLPH RHODE, Plattsmouth,
Eeb.
my little brother had no appetite. He
has taken Hoods Sarsaparilla and now
gets hungry like any other boy" MAUD
KILeoRE, Alden, Kan.
Hoods SarsaparIIIa promises to
cure and keeps the promise.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
Paternal Objection.

He-1 really believe there is some
thing between Mary and that youns
idiot Brown.
she-Yes, dear, there is you.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
The Next Step.

"Here's scientist who claims that
genius is merely nervous disease. !"
"Good! Now, can't he discover
some way to make it contagious?"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

The Best Prescription for Malaria
Chills and Fever is bottle of Groves Tasteless
Chill Tonic. 1t Is simply iron and quinine in
testeless form. No Cure, No Pay, Price SOC.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

The groom may lead the bride to the
altar-but his leadership is apt to end
there.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
The Way it Goes.

"In those two warm days this week
winter seemed to have slipped cog. u
Likely enough. Winter is gener-
ally wound up with spring"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

S. S. s. has been
before the public
for many years I;
from a small Begin
ming, it has steadily
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
The Chop and the Cherry Tree.

"Popkin loves to be historically
correct"
whats his latest?"
HE had an English chop for break.
fast on Washington birthday
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

eafe Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
THO after first day use of Dr. Klines Great Nerve
Restorer Send for FREE 90 trial bottle and treat
ise Dr. r. KLINE Ltd. g3l Arch St.. Philadelphia Pa
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

All Intestinal Troubles Prevented.
Ten cents worth of prevention saves fortunes
in doctor bills and funeral expenses. 10c. buys
box of Cascarets Candy Catharthic. Drug
rists lOc 25c soc.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

1OU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
When YOU take Groves Tasteless Chill Tonic,
because the formula is plainly printed on every
bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui-
nine in tasteless form. No Cure, Ne Pay. Soc
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
An Error in Classification.

Percy-Skitts is a sponge-a per-
feet sponge.
"Oh, no! When a sponge absorbs
anything, by squeezing, it you can get
it again.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
An Old Friend


wonderful curative their families their friends and
and the highest evidence the
s.
other remedy stands 50 high has given such perfect satisfaction
ena Eczema Psoriasis Salt Rheun Acne
the vegetable
much better than ncocon of the
and remedies which affect the bou muscles and
00n'f Experiments S s You will Ie BE-
the heimu1edi tegoodefec
:. appetite increases gradually
the
the skin relieved of all itching irritating
and lily nouIhd people
medicine
o ssuccess hen youca 5. S.
% /@ ~
n S.
guaranteed dpureyv purifier, and
the safest nd for alb ands Kin ~
trouble forcean IN
mineral remedy because there is larger
in blood dis
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA, "a.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21

Every man is sometimes what he
should be at all times
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-05-21
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
His Speciality.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure
e. w. Groves signature is on each box. 25c
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1901-09-27

she aid so, several hateTul looks.
IIilda and the young man contn-
ued 10 talk together while waiting
for the change. When il came, he
seemed TO hesitate and finally looked
over at Barbara. IIilda said some
thing, and he answered and walked
slowly out of the store.
Barbara came over. and Hilda
picked mp her purchases.
Are YOU ready?"
"Yes," IIilda said shortly. and after
n word from the girl behind the coun-
ter they went out.
They walked along for some dis
lance and then Barbara ventured to
say: "Why didn't you introduce me
to your young gentleman friend?"
Ililda colored deeply as she an
swered slowly: Il didn't suppose you
would care 10 know him."
''Why not?"
"Well, you're not really one Of us"
said Ililda, looking sideways at Bar
bara.
Barbara could not help smiling.
GLOW not one of you?"
Mrs. Nane told me you're not
really working out"
what am | doing?"
81 don't know" replied TIilda. hope
lessly, and then was silent. Bar
bara made her decision rapidly.
But I'm working out just as much
as you are, Hilda. What is the diff
ference"
you're educated" said Ililda
shortly.
But that has nothing to do with
Mrs. Wards house. want 10 be
friends with you, H!lda. Aren't you
wil,ing?"
81 don't mind " JIiII, onev-arad In
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1901-09-27

in at different times. She thought the
family was talking about her. and that
the college student had been asking
questions. Several times She was con-
scious that he was looking at her. It
yeXed her. although his look was all
ways re spectful.
The meh was almost over when Mrs.
Ward suddenly asked his wire: 80,
have YOU heard. Martha, that DR.. Law
had stroke yesterday? Very sid.
On. 1t will result IN his leaving Mar
Die Square pulpit
NO. How sudden! What VIII the
church doc"
Mr.. Ward was silent a moment. Bar.
bara was just going out. She slack
ened her step almost unconsciously.
81 have no question they viii cal.
Morton"
''Will he Gomez"
II think he will"
Good" said Alfred.
"Yes. Morton viii be n success in
Marble Square pulpit" Mr.. Ward said,
positively.
Barbara went out. shutting the
kitchen door. She did not hear Mr..
Ward say: IF Morton goes on as he
has begun. he VIII become one of the
greatest preachers this country ever
saw