The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-10-06
FUN OF THE WORLD.


sweeping the pavement q strong wind
arose tearing a piece OF tie coraice OF
and taking a Few bricks ont OF the vail
Realizing thar a good run was better than
p Dad stand the old man sought shelter
in the station house on the opposite side
of the street
Several minutes later % member Of the
church 81 which Uncle 1sham is sexton
came by. and. noticing hin IL his retreat
remarked that he thought the station
house a strange place Tor Q mar az faith
10 seek shelter in 2 storm. when 8 house
Of worship was near.
Dat S so, bur whu man gwine ter
90 VIXEN &c LORD begins 10 frow bricks At
im?'
gzg
qGsint story OF a master builder and
a British workman is told ny a trade
Journal. Having heard that the men di6
NOT start work AT the proper time. the
employer thought wculG drop down
about 6.3e one morning and see. Coins
NJ the yard he cauEht sight Of a joiner
standing smoking. win his kit not even
opened simply aslSirg his name. which
nc found 10 he Malcolm Campbell he CALI
Cd him into the Office. and handing him
four Gays pay, ordered him 10 leave al
once After seeius & man clear Of the
wand he went up 10 the foreman and
explained that he had mace an example
Of Malcolm Campbell by paving him or
for not starting at the proper time.
Great Scott. sir" calculated the fore
man. that chap was only looking for a
Job"
ZEE
During the battle OF snlIoh an officer
hurriedly rode Up 10 an aide and inquired
for Grant
.Thatts tho man. with the held-gIass.
said the aide.
Wheeling his herse about. the stranger
rode furiously at the general. and touch
ing his cap. addressed him thus.
'Sheuerai. wants 20 make ore rebort;
Schwartzs patteTy is took.
All. sa-- The general how was
that?'
Wen. you see. ShoneIal. der seheces-
sionists florked as, and her Succession
lists came in Ger rear of us. under cen
Schwartz g p3ttery was took
well. sir. YOU or course spiked the
gurs.
vote exclaimed tie German in aston
ishments "schpike dem guns, Schpike
dem new guns? Wy. ii would spoil dem'
what did you do?'
DO? Py tam, We took dem back again.
< gzg
T.
stefan seems about the last place en- the
world for humorous Incidents. Yet this
is what happened in one OF those hauntg
of the sick the other DAY & new patient.
after having been thoroughly cross-eN-
amined By the doctor. Had received min
ute instructions as to diet. etc. and was
dismissed with this Injunction: AS for
smoking. you must limit yourself 20 three
cigars daily; three light cigars and no
pears again IL the consulting room. well I
and how are you?T asked the physician /
II should be all right" replies Jhe pa /
uent, but your orders about smoking /
are difficult 20 follow" Il am sorry. I
the doctor SAYS CategoricaIly but no I
more than three cigars a day. You must I
put up with it. But doctor IL really IS /
an awful business. Wouldn't two a day 4
10? / feel in every time j smoke" WHY. J
man. what in the world do YOU smoke for I
lt all. II that is The case7" the Doctor ]
roared. "But doctor. wasn't fl YOU your- 4
self who said three cigars q day. and no I
mOre| or course. ] thought They were I
part Of the cure. and began upon them
though I've never in my life taken TO
smoking" Tableau,
x x
The peouniary difficulties IN which as
1irants for literary fame become in
folved have inspire. many an auecdote.
Here's a poem on the Imperial Oislo /
sorr " said a frayed-looking Individual 20
he editor of a weekly newspaper 30 q
arge town. AN its hoping youn take
t. OF am"
what is your address," inquired the
,ditor
THAT depends entoircly on You. sorr"
Depends on me2" echoed the editor.
what do you mean2"
If you like the poem. sorr. me adj
lress shtill he siventy-woH King sthratc
crlied the sa-Guine poet: ''but 81 YOU
ion't take il. It's mesilf thatH be left
Without any addthress TO me name fur
nc landlady kapes her word. sorr."
x z
We regret 70 announce the death in hts
eventy-fourth wear ~ Lord Morris. the
amous Irish law lord and Wit when
rJing some young farmers Tor ile~al
Irilling he said. There you 20 ON
making fools OF yourselves marching and
counter marching when YOU ought to De-
'ut iu jhe fields cartiug dung And
gain. in reply o. the argument ~ au
Eloquent advocate that "the people we're
n sympathy with certain Offenders hc
and. quite in the STYLE ~ Dr Johnson.
i never knew small town IN ireland
hat hadn't BLACKBOARD in 10 who called
himself the people Lastly ~ an in-
tance of his inability TO bear with what
be considered meddicsonse Interference.
here Is the story Of his reception ~ dis-
inEllished treasury official sent over %
dublin 70 inquire into the expenditure ~
uel IN the courts. He was received ra-
.telv by the chief Justice. who esid De
would put him s1 communication wlth fhe
roper person. and rang the ban. when
he elderly female VINO aete3 or court
eeper appeared. De remarked aa De left
he room MARY this 81 the young man
hats came ahcat fhe 0oais."
Booth Harrington is said ~ have de-
9vered recently that no has wen q Fi sc-
mong the hamorlsts Of America. The
manner iu which -h.s revelation came o.
i'm Is told Dy fellow Iadauian 49, 1oi-
]ws,
''The author - Monsieur Teaucalrn' res
entity met Professor CHERRY. the vornr
xpiorer. Who was fresh frru his lona
"a portions tramp which bad coFefes
.eu-nish the entire ieHgfa ~ Che african
ointment
g. wen that was qrite ifttie strag
eu recently Sock down fhr COAST -s-
'arkad M- Tsrki-r.ar who uat lnfa
le tcne wlth neiee fa freetirra zefde s
-sre spoken fhe adulraaen d. fcit ~
ae rap-rrars aefieEerrrf ffe $3.50 aa-
ientist Stared r. r.m wrr
eoutet fce rrret1 ~ tae
arl.est possible moment
they d-1 anf mt rr t rf
1l Air larEf rf11 crr fr1f h
eH-sate- l.sifF h rse ~
t1e fw
soy. h1aeser farr r7 ~ ~
2 t
.far..F ~ trr re.afrr 400