The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-11-17
Fun OF THE WORLD.

TCN IT sFG sfOn-
Many are the stories told OF AEcGarry.
the original DcoIey bat the one which
perhaps hest illustrates his methods. and
which has beer told in many forms is
tbs. dialogue which took place betv cen
him and his bartender. Pat Casey
himself = character. when a customer
came in. ordered a drink from Casey
and told him 10 charge H.
rs O'Brisn good for "a drink asked
Casey OF McGarry. who was III back
room
Has he had it, asked MeGarry.
"He has repiied Casey.
He is said McGarry.
<
1t the town of Alecranes. Genefat
Weed spent some time visiting the carcsi-
He had all the prisoners lined out before
him. and he asked one after another Tor
what reason h was there. Pointing 70
one fellow. h asked:
What are you here for
The man looked up fearleSsiy and saic-
Because COW Was seen walking behind
me"
The follow made the statement IN such
an injured manner that every one IN the
party had 70 laugh. including the taller.
who FASTENED 10 explain 70 the general
that the reason the cow was walking be-
bird aim was that he had rope at
tGchec 10 her
ZEE
Terbena- the colored cook. asked ger
mission 70 bake cake for the wedding
breakfast Of one of her friends. The
next day her mistress said 70 her.
Wen. 'Bena. how did the wedding so
off?"
Law. Mrs l. Verbena replied. 1T
war a mos pow'ful weddin De brock
fus war mos appetizin'. specially de
cake you done sib me; an wild al dc
guests wearin' der hes clos. an hehavin
mos impressive. An De bride suttainly
did look beautiful in her white satin
gownd wild de long white vei an de
orange blossoms.
And how about the bridegroom,
'Benae"
OAR" exclaimed Verbena. her eyes
flashing, "de low-down. no-count niggah
nevah come a-righ,'
gg
Oscar Hammersteiu can be found al
most any night sittiuS on chair out
side his theater on Seventh avenue. in
New York. He was enjoying q cigar
theer The other evening when he was ap-
preached by an actor who Rad been en-
ployed by him. but who had been on Il
long debauch. and who. in the pariance Of
the profession. looked every bit the part
too - Hcsitatingly ne asked Mr. Ham
merstein If ne would lenG him s.. prom
Using he would use il 20 sober up and get
hir..self back 10 his old self. Mr.. Ham
mertcin gave him the requested amount
ana after profuse expressions of grAtl-
tude the actor remarked; MIR, Ham
mersteln this Is the most lucid moment /
have had IN a month. ] guess this is
lose it, moment fer RE. toe" replied Mr.
Hanmerstein. Then he looked guilty
around. but he had been heard.
Il x x x
we'll known Scotch 'meenister' took
up golf. and despite great practice. could
not succeed in passing tYro stage. His
simple EXPLANATIONS Of Tut. tut "Oh
dear, now. Wen. Well" and the like
were plain evidences of "A peFtuTbed spirit
one day when the peTspiration flowed
freely from his lofty brow and his honest
countenance shcne with a lustrc and rad
lance which alas was not due 10 calm
ness of soul. but rather the heat OF the
sur ard his labcrious enc rts to move the
obstinate glitta-percha from its station
on the tee. he was tempted 70 indulge IN
strong language. Dear dear, but III
have 70 gle IL up. III have TO gle i
uD," he said at last. with a despairing
look at BAN. Give up tie game. Mr.
D-r' exclaimed his friend. who had
been a witness OF his attempts. Ma,
ma. TIE meenistry," answered the other
with q sigh.
ERE
A Highland laird who could not afford
to keep his own piper was accustomed 90
employ the village piper when he had
company
On one occasion. through some oversight
Donald had not been given his prelimin-
airy glass OF whisky before he began his
F.fas
bagpipe iu a most refractory temper. The
laird asked him what was the matter
with IT, and Donald replied that the ieath-
ct was 50 hard that he could DO nothing
with g.
what win soften IT." asked the anx-
ious laird.
och, Just whuskev" said Donald
A tumbler of whisky was AT once
brought which Donald Immediately
drank
you rascal" said the laird. did you
not say it was for Tie bagpipes7"
och yesss. yess.' said Donald. but
she viii be n ferry peculiar pipes This
She aye likes it blawed IN"
x K Ks
Late one atorTny night. when McGarry
was alone IN the bar, the door opened
10 admit an old man. who shivercd under
q collection Of RACES. AS he shufled up
20 the bar McGarTy eyed him with much
suspicion for he knew the type Of old
ar McGarry.' said the stranger. In
trembling voice. I'm an ola man.
eye are" returned McGarry EruGiy.
And I'm very poor. ar AIcGarry"
'FYe look 81" remarked the philosopher
reaching under the bar for his billy.
And I'm suffering from the rheama-
Tx Mr.. Garry.
That's bad" said McGarry. clutch
ing the billy a bit tighter.
But praise God I've the price q a
Irink. yet Mr.. McGarry.' ard tbe Gus
toner laid n dime upon the bar.
Jim drew long breath ard passed
over the bottle
me by said he. with sigh Just
put away tn coin. Te're Oh first mon
zEs
They were in n snokeroon ir Talgarth. /
nd we're discussing the JOYS and sqryoVrr /
II active service in South Africa
well Tve teen Vlth the aruv orf /
here. and had "a very interesting fiulr.
aid sollicriy-lo1k fellow
Ever get really close O. the Boers1
ouebodv asked.
Rather, encs took two q their Of
aI-nslasae~
HCe-tainIy Ard the verv next dey
ook eight 71e1 wlfh their horse
-sii WOUNDED. 7 expecf sneered iie-
euer "Yoa Didn't Eef n1r7 ~ carse r.
just a siirht scratch. thatH 30 Ana
ext Jag toai, a DOG - transport wagons
nd followed that so - taking a EoeT
r1ai ard DIX gun
sTister- eaid fee fiea~reeahf- man -
ae audience. - faTa seen sons - t1r
meet rraci-rere ~ anrfh rE shat v1a ram
AZ % mind tgt Z w'sh f0 state thal yes
~. vfr0rf exec rfier. asa biggest Tar
hat ,Fer frod fhsa earfh
Ihr good na-srsd rar0rI+sr ieesea ru-
~ frr -nrnerf- f-t tffn 81 oElleft.