The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-03-09


your set?
Mrs. Proudfut-No, indeed. They 60 |
to a gymnasium, while we attend
physical culture class.-Judge
CRUEL.
"They say my face is dreamr
exclaimed the girl who wished to 60 |
on the stage.
"Yes, fades awsy each night" re-
torted the heartless young man.-Chi-
cago News.
A THRILLING EXPERIENCE.
"Have you ever had any thrilling
adventures, PenelopeY
Eyes; once stood on the arm OF a
couch to fix a window curtain and the
couch shot across the room with me-"
Chicago News.
THE MYSTERY OF THE AGES.
Dickerman-There's one thing that
puzzles me.
Rawley-And pray what is that?
Dickerman-How it happens that
the new woman Is generally not
very Young one.-Boston Transcript.
AN EXCHANGE OF CONFIDENCE
1.-THE Boston girl was engaged to
picked me up on grammer before
week had passed over our heads"
"You got off easy. The one knew
corrected my English while l was
proposing to her."-Chicago Record.
THE VARIETY.
"Oh. I don't know!' remarked the
optimist. after all, you'll find in every
one at least some Of the milk OF human
kindness"
"Huh!" grunted the cynic. what
you do find is usually the condensed
variety. "-Philadelphia Press.
HIS USEFULNESS.
Landlady-I rather like having one
dyspeptic at my table.
visitor-How queer!
Landlady-Oh. no; he makes the
other boarders ashamed to find fault
indianapolis Journal.
HIS GUN.
Bill-Did you say that gun OF yours
would shoot 1000 yards?
Jill-That's what l did.
"Well, IFS marked to shoot only ooV
yards"
Eyes, but there are two barrels
| Yonkers Statesman.
A CAPITAL IDEA
| The Poet-I am tired of social life.
am going to seek out quiet NOOK
where I shall see no one and speak
RI no one. and where shall have per-
feet solitude. 800,
The Artist-What a capital Idea. I'll
come with you.-Pick-Me-Up.
Hp WAS THINKING OF THEM.
Boy-Grandpa, I wish you'd buy me
1 pony.
Grandpa "a philanthropist)-My son.
think of the poor boys who can't even
get bread to eat.
Bowl was thinking OF them-tne
Door little boys whose papas have po-
MES to sell that nobody Will buy
Gaiety.
THE AGGRAvATING TROLLEY.
"This snail-like pace" growled the
| arst trolley car passenger, us enough
70 rifle saint"
| Eyes, these cars are peculiar" re-
plied the philosophic man. When
you're in a car 1t simply crawls; but
when you're trying to catch 1t 1t fies
along at top speed."-Philadelphis
Press.
ORDERING A DINNER.
Diner Ito restaurant waiter)-Wha
have you got for dinner?
Waiter-Roast beeffricassedchicken-
hashbakedandfried pota'
toes college OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
J Diner-Give me the third, fourth
fifth. sixth, eighteenth and nineteenth
: syllables.-Answers.
NOT THE ONLY ONE.
"You used to say" suggested ne
, dearest friend, shat he was one In
, thousand"
, 81 still think So" answered the gil
I whose engagement had been broker
Q "but I have discovered that he Is nc
a the only one in a thousand."-Indian
I apolis Journal.
|. A REMINDER.
!, Mrs. Starvem-How do you Ike tn
!, chicken salad, Mr.. Joaksmithf
Mr.. Joaksmith-Oh! that remino
me. I bought a book, that was 70
sent home to-day. Did it come!
a Mrs. Staryem-Yes; but why snoui
/: tho chicken salad remind you Of TT
a Mr.. Joaksmith-Well. the book
: NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Press.
t Belgian poultry formers take sue
II ~-aat care of their hens that tn
Z | p-,xoJloc,, soils for a1mOi