Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1901-10-10
" ELEM says I've lost my mind,
WI so | thought I'd cum in an
/ / advertise fer it." said Uncle

/ / advertise fer il" said Uncle
Bill as he handed the editor
an advertisement, which read:
"Lost-A bright mind. what has been
corroded by the lapse NV time the pol
ish is gone. but the metal is there, eny
one finding a mind with a pictur' NV
boat on it. please leave IL at the Office
Nv the Shake Rag Spread, an receive
reward"
There, told Helen I'd git it back.
If eny wise man found il, but IL a fool
should happen ter find it. | guessed Ia
be blank fer the rest NV my days, an
60 would he"
What is the trouble?' inquired the
editor.
"oh. there is no trouble at all, only
have bin readin' bout the yacht races
an argufyin' leetle might bout it
with Helen, an yer know the finish
ter man, what'll argufy with a wom-
an; she'll wait fer the last word an
when she sits il she'll make a Teller
feel like a double blank in a game NV
dominos when its BACKED" said Uncle
Bill, as he handed the editor potato
for the space. with the remark: Its
enough ter make it shed tears ter have
ter go. ter pay fer sich a trifle."
why, Uncle Bill, your wife does not
think that you are a blank. just be-
cause you admire yacht racing does
sne?' asked the editor. in order to draw
him out, with the story of his domestic
troubles.
I'm tell yer how it was" said Uncle
Bill. My young nephew from Chicago
cum out ter make me a visit an he's
right up ter snuf. when il Gums ter
boat racin an he got ter tal&in bout
Yacht racin' fore me an Zeb an got
rs ter argufyin bout it; so we so. up
| bet as to who could beat cross Mud
Pond an Zeb let slip leetie mite nv
bis conceit bout his rowin' a boat
Wall, kin stand ter let Zeb go a leetle
ways with his braggin'. but when he
%its over the line. | drive a stake, an
this time he stepped over leetle mite,
an | hollered out 'avast there mate
pull in yer main 81 an Zeb said, BIZ.
III bet Yer my farrow COW agin. yer
turned ole WALLER dog, that | kin cross
Mud Pond in less time'n you kim an
! said, 'Zeb the dog is up, so my nep-
rev acted as referee an we went out
fer race"
Is there boats down on the pond?"
asked the editor.
Guess they're in it now" said Uncle
Bill, We had a powerful race an the
boats sort NV collapsed, so there Amt
much left but the story now ="
We'll lets hear the story said the
.ditor
oh, wall sol dumb it: it's kind
mean ter tell it cause Deb is leetle
mite sensitive, an he might nv win il
he'd had envy one else agin him. but
NE, but I'm ter much fer Zeb when il
Gums ter yacht racin,' said Uncle Bill
Are you indeed" Intercepted the
editor, | have heard that Zeb used 20
aail upon the ocean"
"WaN. the ole pond II hold him
down now. Why. he couldn't race n
pollywog, when it gifts down ter racin'
right"
Tell us about your race" said the
editor,
We went down to the pond m zeb
got beat"
Yes but how"
"Oh, Jest a leetle head work: that's
the wa all yacht races are won, by
head work"
scheming to win yacht race. and you
are pretty foxy old schemer." admit
ted the editor. But how did you win
QUIT"
I'VE went down ter the pond an got
inter the boats an pulled over on
tother side so'st ter .ort wv timber mp
a hit. an then my ncphew bowed n
bicycle whistle, an me an Zeb was of "
which one took the lead in the
start" asked the editor.
wall, I'll tell yer, Zeb sort nv got
the lead an he started ter sing Pull,
Sailor, Pull Sailor. an gee whizz.
kpowcd ! was the only real sailor. so
| begun ter bend ter the oars an then
yer ought seen Xeb look surprised
when begin ter forge ahead NV him
when all ter once ! busted an car an
there | was with a bet on my hands
ter git an tother side frst so I Jump.
ed in an was goin' ter swim fer IT. an