Evening star., 1901-12-21

them get very far with their little tales OF
woe any more. They start In to saw on
on me stories of how they're trying TO
| reach the wife or mother who is dying OF
| appendicitis or cancer, or something, or or
| how they've lost their Jobs owing to the
| store burning down, or of how they were
drugged and ROBBED Of all their money, or
l Of how they had lost their positions on the
temporary roll Of one OF the Washington
departing nts chats a favorite at the Wash
| ington end of the line), and other neat lit
| tie narratives like that. but that sort OF
stuff doesn't so down with me any more.
| In nine cases out of ten when ] reach for
| the bell rope these fellows dig Into their
/ clothing and sullenly come to the front
| with the price Of their rides. l hauled any
number of such bilks at the wind-up of the
| last Benning meeting. These tin-horn
dead-games from New York tried to soften
me up on the sporty side.
You're a good foller.' they'd open up
| when l happened around for their paste
| boards, and som |. and I want 20 get back
| to the big town bad. Just forget about
the ticket, won 'ccher2 They chewed me up
at the meetin'-f didn't cash bet, and me
watch and pin and ring and the whole
| works went in. I'm In luck to have me
/ blanket left. I come down to the meettn
| in a special train at that. Just be good
people and pass on 10 the next, and III
| make good some o these days
None of these cheerful workers made
| his little talk stick, of course, and IN every
case. when ! reached for the rope they
pulled out good-sized rolls and paid their
/ fares. Far from looking chagrtned over
| being nailed In such dismal lies. most OF
them gTinned good-naturedly at me and
! complimented me on not being a mark
| and cordially invited me to hit up their
| TASKS.
| Posed n Sailor.
There are more dcadbeats travelling
around this country In uniforms tnat
they've no right to wear than folks have
and idea of. i etched one Of lnem between
Philadelphia and Baltimore only a short
| time ago. He wore the uniform of a jack
tar of the American navy. and when 1
reached the day coach smoker. after the
train left Philadelphia. wnere he got
aboard, he was curled up in a well-simu-
| lated drunken attitude and apparently
asleep. Now, I've hauled a good many
bluejackets in my day, but this fellow
| didn't strike me as beng the real thing.
| There wasn't any tan on his face in the
first place. and his hands were as white
a clerks. | looked him over for quite a
spell, and then turned my back on him,
as if to pass along. Then ! wheeled sud
denly, and caught HIM mixing at me
with crafty look on his face. I'd turned
so suddenly as to surprise him. He instant
ly closed his eyes. l asked him for his
ticket. He pretended not to hear me.
| shook him, and he pretended to emerge
from a wel-acted drunken stupor. When
l again demanded his ticket he began to
/ Delay there, mate and to hand me up a
| few deep-water ones like that, winding up
by informing me, as he rolled around In
/ his seat like a heavy-weather boy that's
been on a toot for weeks. that he was from
the League Island navy yard and that he
| was bound for Washington, and had .Ost
his ticket and money in the mix-up the
| night before.
".Too bad. too bad said l. shaking my
head sorrowfuIly. Now you'll have to hoof
1t to Washington, won't youg
How He Was Trapped.
Again he pretended not TO have heard
me. and fell off into his imitation slumber.
| Now. 1 never like to act in such cases un-
| t. y.obs AM
wars man that's the real article can ride
with me whether he's got the ticket or
money or not, although 1 wouldn't exactly
| say this to the president of the road should
he happen to ask me about IL. But there
are mighty few genuine bluetackets in our
| service who ask conductors to ride them
without the price. The actual tar is not
| that sort. and it's only when he really has
| been robbed and Is in the last extremity 10
| reach his ship station in time not to be
| declared deserter that he'll tel his little
| story to q conductor. Well, IL just nap
| pened that in one of the parlor cars there
were a number of young naval officers from
the Washington. navy yard, who had been
| attending the big army and navy foot ball
game, and L went into the car and asked
one of them. with whom was on nodding
| terms. to look over this alleged b.uejacket
in the day coach smoker. He complied
with my request. 1 shook the uniformed
| fellow out of his fake slumber while the
officer stood by me, and then the quarter
| deck gentleman put a question or so to the
! chap II didn't take him more than half
a minute TO see that the blk with the uni
form had never so much as stepped on the
deck Of a ship of war, and the officer was
SO sore over the misuse Of the uniform
that he shook his fist in the beats face and
told him that he would have him arrested
| at the first stop for masquerading as sal
| lor Of the United States navy. Then the
fellow stood up, ugly, and no more drunk
than l am now, and told the oincer 10 90
to the devil had to hang on TO the oft1-
| Ger to keep him from punching the blk,
and / stopped the train and dumped the
fakir in the wilderness. He flashed big
| roll on me as he stepped off, and had the
| effrontery to tell me that he had got 1t all
pan-handling suckers on the Philadelphla
streets in his rig of man-o'-war's man.
Female Bilks.
Il grieve to say that there are almost as
many women biiks who endeavor to work
off the sad story dodge on me as there are
men, They get through the station gates
by pretending to the ticket examiners that
they want to bid goodbye to passengers
directly ahead of them in the line, and in
most cases they are women with records
| and of unconventional lives. They try TO
let me have 1t that they are embarrassed
| gentlewomen or deserted wives on their
| way to their folks, or typewriters who have
suddenly lost their positions-thelr stories
| are too varied to mention-and they lnvar-
iably drop great. big salt tears at nIst
when / call them. as am compelled TO do
But when they see that j am actually go
ing to put them of at the next station
| women are, of course not put on between
| stops-they begin to lambast me, as often
| as not as a heartless brute, or worse, ana
then go into their pocket books and pro-
| duce the money equivalent to their tickets.
| There's a certain old Irish woman in
Washington-a woman of some means, too,
1 am told-who has a daughter living In
Baltimore. and she has swung me for eight
| or ten rides to that town during the past
five years in the most deliberate and cold
blooded manner imaginable. She simply
| withdraws into herself and ignores me
when / ask her for her ticket. When per-
| sst she coolly informs me that she has no
| ticket-as I, of course, have learned TO
| know In advance by this time-and that's
| all there is about it. Time and again I've
| threatened to have her arrested when the
| train reached Baltimore but the threat
never feazed her, and / never quits felt
| like putting ii into execution. anyhow. She
| told me the last time she bilked me that
| she'd had a son MANNED by railroad run
ming into Washington a good many years
| ago and that shed sued the road without