Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-05
- Tea-TabIe Salad. -
HIS LONG REST.


The Summer months will sOoR have fed
And like blamed alarm clock, some
Fine morning old September'll come
And root me out of bed"
Philadelphia Press.
Van Twiller-''What makes you think
be isn't used to society,""
Van Winkle-"He detected his hostess
heating at bridge. Town Topics.
That Hired Girl Again.-'Do the
smiths keep grip
ont keep them. "-Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Say, pop, I've got to write a eompo-
sition on Hope What is Hope any
way3' Hope, my boy, is the joyous
expectation of being able to dodge our
deserts. Life.
Church, see man out West has
drawn his will on a pane of glass
Gotham-"Well. what's the difference?
It's bound to be broken, anyhow. =
Yonkers Statesman.
''Why is the Isle Of Wight a fraud 2"
Because it has Needles you cannot
thread, Freshwater you cannot drink.
COwes you cannot milk and Newport you
cannot bottle. Tit Bits.
Father calling from head of stairs at
II 30 p. m.)-"Fanny, don't you think
it's about time to go to bed?" Fanny
Yes, papa dear. What on earth keeps
you up so late?'-Tit-Bits
Tommy-'Mom, gimme another bis
cult
Mamma (sternly)-'If-"
Tommy-"If the comp'ny don't want
to hog 'em all Philadelphia Press.
Not Complimentary to Medicine.-Doc-
tor Brain flag, oyerworked, YOU should
have called me in sooner" Wife
While he had any sense left he
wouldn't have a doctor. "-Moonshne.
Little Ethel" Mamma. l know why
you can't count the stars
Mothcr-"Why, my childT'
Little Ethel-"Coz it won't STAY dark
long enough. Ohio State Journal
DIDN'T RUBBER.
What a fine bouncing baby boy"'
Cried the visitors, with delight
But Willie dropped 1t on the floor,
And 1t didn't bounce a mite.
Saltwater Mirror.
Her Husband (who had been reading
the paper)-"It is wonderful how the in
f1uence of Japan has spread" His Wife
Yes. indeed. Markdown has a bargain
sale of kimOnas tomorrow. Brooklyn
Life.
Little Tommy-"Papa. what is biped :"
Papa-"An animal with two legs. For
instance, a man is biped, my boy"
Little Tommy-"Well, what's Uncle
James? He's only got one leg" -Indian-
apois Press.
Too Much.-Mistress- Now, Bridget,
there is one thing | must insist upon. If
you break anything, | want you TO come
and tell me at once" Brdget-"Sure
ma'am, | can't be runnin' to We every
minute of the day. Brooklyn Life.
They had evidently had something to
do with types in their day.
Il wish Il proof of your love- said she.
Didn't | give you a proof of my love
when l married yOu?' asked he.
Yes; but l want a revise. " onkers
Statesman.
Sue-"Mabel was terribly disappointed
last night" Belle-"In what way?"
why. Charley came around and said he
was going 30 tell her the old, old story f"
And did he propose?" NO; he told her
about Jonah and the whale. "-Philadel-
phia Record
Joshua Straw-"Our boy Silas is goin'
t be musishun, er | miss my guess"
Mrs. Straw-"Dew tell!'
Joshua Straw-"Yes stree! You ies'
ort t see him prick up his ears when
he hears you blow the dinner horn. =
Ohio State Journal.
Helm thinking seriously of resum-
ing business"
she.I thought you had retired per-
manently."
Il thought so, too. but l need some ex-
cuse for not attending my wife's after
noon teas. Brooklyn Life.
Watts-'I wonder if dyeing ones hair
is really as dangerous as the doctors
sayy'
y. Peck-"You bet it is. An old uncle
of mine tried it once, and in less than
three months he was married to widow
with four small children. '-Tit-BitS.
Mrs. Naggs Qoftily)-"Of course we
women cannot expect Carrie Nation TO
be a hero among men"
Naggs-s"Well, hardly! Any more than
we men could expect man who went
| around smashing millinery shops to Ne
come women's idol. Atlanta Const-
tuition
Progress-Mrs. Wrencher-'I suppose
you have learned a great deal since your
marriagey'
Mrs. John Newbird- "Oh, yes; l have.
| know now that it isn't at all practic-
able to send John off in the morning
| with icecream in his luncheon basket. =
Harper's Bazaar.
| Mrs Hunter Ito shopman)-"If you
| will cut me a small sample of this, |
will find out from my dressmaker how
many yards need, and can send for the
| goods by post"
Enfant Terrible ''Why, mamma,
| that's just what you said in all the other
| shops. Tit Bits.
| When Oliver Goldsmith was one day
| asked. "WhO is this Scotch cur at john
sons heels?' the author of The Good,
| Natured Man Enthusiastically respond
| ed: You are too severe He is not a
| cur. he is only bur. Tom Davies flung
him ut johnson in sport, and he has
| the faculty of sticking
Carrie-"Fred is coming again this
| evening l do SO enjoy his visits. He
| always has so much to say and he says
| it so nicely, too.
Bertha-"But he can't really be in love
| with you dear; when a young man is in
love it is almost impossible for him to
| talk at all"-Boston Transcript.
An Oversight.-The visiting team came
to bat for the last time and made eight
runs, just enough to win. "Yah"' shout
| ed the victorious captain. II thought you
said you, could see our finish at the be
| ginning" 80 l did" replied the other
dolefully, but couldn't see your big
inning at the fnish!'Philadelphia Press.
so you lent Harbinger the money, did
you?'
| yes"
what did he say?"
He promised to pay with alactrity.'
HE did. Ell? Well. let me tell you
| chic. If thnra's ono tbiuv that's Saavaar