Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-02-14
TALES OF THE STREETS.

buyer WHO'S well known all over sonth-
ern Iowa. Not great while ago he
bought a load of cattle near Tyrone
and drove them to Melrose for ship
ment. Several of the denizens of that
locality volunteered to help take the
cattle over to Melrose. They were typ
ical types of the Emerald Isle, and as
fond of bug juice" as a goose is of
water After travelling mile or two
Pat-it is not necessary to mention
his sirname-said: "Mikel wouldn't
little of that old stuff our forefathers
used to drink in County Tyrone, be-
fore comm to this blessed America,
be good on an occasion of this kind?"
| You know it would. Pat" said
Mikel and his eyes fairly glistened
and his lower lip dropped nearly to
his breast car sure, Pat have
the jug to put it in Eyes, said Pat,
land know where we can get the
genuine article. II we had the spondu-
lies >"
After considerable talk in low tone
the nature of the conversation is not
known-Pat called to Mr.. c., and
| told him their tale of woe, and sug-
gested that he put up the money for
the stuff Mr.. c. is very tenn
perate man and does not believe in
the use of liquor. but the weather was
cold, and he thought perhaps pint
would do them some good. He final
| ly consented to give them the price,
but, unfortunately, he had no change
smaller than SIS in his pocket. He gave
the bill to Mike, who started off on
trot for the jug and liquor. In about
half hour Mike returned with gal
Ion jug in a sack. He was smacking
his lips and said, "Ah, begorra, I've
4 got her, and it is good and don't you
forget it"
The jug was passed around among
the boys, each taking a good, big
drink. 1t was also offered to Mr..
| c. who passed it up. By this
| time Pats and Mikes tongues We're
wagging at a lively rate.
i No change was offered Mr.. c.,
4 and after awhile he said: mike,
what did they charge you for that?"
"Begorra, Mr.. c., they didn't
charge it at ALL paid the money for
it." WELL" said Mr.. c., Il
know, but what did you pay for it?"
"One dollar quart, sir" said Mike.
| That's gallon jug, is 1t not, Mixer"
, said G.. That's what it is, I've
J had it filed too often to be fooled on
| it, said Mike. We'll" said G.,
: there should be some change coming
: to me-" "Divil cent, it is all in the
: Jug" said Mike. "Well, now see here,
Mike, if the liquor cost 81 quart and
t the jug holds gallon, how could you
t get five quarts in it?"
. This was calculation that Mike
8 had not thought of, and he scratched
his head and looked wise tor nom
ent and then said: II don't know
that was the other mans business,
gave MIN the five and he put five
quarts in the jug, that's sure"
ri Mr.. c. smiled, but he never
got his change.
Four Corners, Iowa, Feb. 11.-(By
IS Special Correspondence Hank Crop
ley NV this place hez been trying tt
git even with some NV yer fresh cit!
raacals fer the last eight years, and
by hick, he come pretty nigh squarine
the account today. You see, wheI
K Hank wuz up in yer taown in 1898, hi
bought roll of green goods. No, sir
They didn't flim-flam Hank. He's TOT
wise boy. He didn't give 'em nj
chanst fer ter take away the little sat
chel and fill up another one witt
r. hung onto the satchel like grim dealt
arter he gev up his 5000, and he go
safe home with the goods. Only trou
BILE then wuz that he couldn't pas
'em. They wuz an awful poor qualit,
:. of greens, with the numbers and lei
= tiers looking like the reading on Doc
y, ~ Hokins shingle, which has never bee
~ repainted since 1869. So Hank WI
- stuck, and stuck good, and all thes
- years he's waited fer an opportunit
~ to even the COMPOUNDED deal.
=. Wall, thar WIZ q city stranger fror
% % Lake View, which. hear, is an of
- securing NV yer city, as cum TO
=. =. taown three days ago, and Han
~ made his acquaintance. Hank, II
l. course, had no idee the man cud b
TUX in on no green goods deal, an
~ calkilated to stick him on piece u
q paster land. But, jest for joke, h
., wuz showing the city man the bundl
=. Nv green goods this morning, an
q telling him how he gave UP his goo
.. dollars. The stranger got mighty ii
a. terested. Tell you what, Mr.. Crol
- ley" sez he, Il cud pass them cas-
VI up in Lake View. Any German S;
- loon-keeper wud bite on them. TIE
~. ~ you what, I'll gieve you 5000 in goo
l ls money fer the bunch"
n u Well, the gen'rous offer well mig
- parlized Hank, and he fell over hi
Al self to make the transfer. The ma
gevhim the 5000 and then got Hank
a change a 500 bill inter smaller d
IN nominations-uv real money, U
ne ae explaining as how he had r
- ~ little bills after paying Hank, an
az wanted to paint the taown littl
ns Hank wuz the happiest man you eve
on seen that he had done the strange
u u SO easy, an got back 5000 to balant
W. agin the 5000 he lost SO long ago. I'll
a. only draw back to Hanks happine'
~ ~ cum when he TUX the money to tt
az a, bank at noon, and the teller SEE ;
" how it wuz green goods, too, ar
green goods NV ranker descriptic
than them Hank had originally ca
en- tered from the first passed. Nv bunl
~ 10 men. Wa'al, by gum Charley o
en-