The National tribune., 1901-05-30
ONE SIDE GOOD AS 'ToTuER.

ONE SIDE GOOD AS 'TOTHER.
Young Humphrey Marshall. son of Gen.
Marshall, and Tommy BaylcsS We're for
a time my messmates. Marshall was n
''character''-;l chip off the old block. y
He was Il brainy youth of FalStaflian
build, careless in dress, impcrviouS to fear.
j often recall his wit drollerios and en-
joyablc comradCShip.
One morning during the perennial
scarcity of rations, our mess of three had
issued to il n modcum of blue beef, about
enough for one soldier whose digestive ap-
paratus was in good order and condition
This modest ration Of beef was supple
mcnted 10y one of adamantlne bread of
similar magnitude. We cooked the nseat
in an old pan. adding little water, hop
ing to make an apology for gravy. Bay
less being the first to dip his bread into
the sop instantly threw it away and
turned his head. Surprised at his I'M
wonted action. | asked him what was the
matter. He said big black spider. not
on the bill of fare, was being served as
part of the menu. Upon examination l
discovered the dismembered spider float
ing in the gravy. Like BayleSS, | turned
away. Marshall interrogatively eX-
claimed: What -- is the matter with
you fellows We explained about the
spider.
"Humphr' said he, what of that?"
e IOiN MIN ludl lit OlidliOuIItt lllA-
ture, especially the spider ingredient,
turned our stomachs. Marshall had an
appetite and meant business. Deliberately
and seemingly appreciatively he ate the
whole compound. In conclusion he mere
ly made one simple remark: Boys, one
side of my stomach is just as good as
'tother-let her turn"
SOMEBODY'S DARLING.
Bob Walden, not more than 10 years
old, was the handsomest boy | ever saw.
The bloom of Spring was upon his fair,
girl-like cheek. and there was a CLINT of
sunshine in his golden, curly hair. He
rode with Morgan to Burlington Island
where he escaped by gallantly swimming
his horse across the river. After number
less adventures he reached Gilmer's
Brigade in Tennessee, and Immediately
became the pet of a thousand cavaliers.
The Colonel assigned him to duty at
headquarters as his favOrite courier boy"
Nearly always riding at the head of the
column, there was ever song in his
heart. Cheerily he would sing some song
like the following:
1.-The boy stood on the burning deck
Eating peanuts by the peck;
His father called, he would not go,
Because he loved the peanuts So"
RashIy brave. he seemed not to realize
the dangers to which he so often exposed
himself. His gallant career was brief
Standing alone upon the breastwOrks at
Bulls Gap, Tenn, waving his hat taunt-
ingly to the enemy-a conspicuous target
for q thousand rifes-a bali struck him
in the forehead, killing him instantly.
Poor Bob, So young so bright How we
loved that precious boy-the youngest of
our clan!
"Tenderly bury the fair young dead,
paTSiur, +n bic
Carve on the wooden slab at his head
Somebody's darling slumbers here "
IAN HONEST CHRISTIAN"
Capt. "Shuck" Whitaker, witty and
shrewd, usually had better luck than his
comrades in securing substantials and
luxuries, such as square meals and
"beds of goose hair" Accompanied by
five of his men he saw FIVE turkeys sitting
on a fence. Calling upon the lady of the
house, the Chesterfieldian Captain patheti-
cally and eloquently made the following
appeal: My dear, good woman, | know
you have sons in the army, and / am sure
they, too are hungry. | have seen five
turkeys sitting on the fence behind the
barn. If you will sell me just one of those
turkeys it will be like bread cast upon the
waters, and the good Lord will surely
cause some one to feed your poor, hungry
boys. Now, my good woman, | am an
uOutSl CHIlSLldn LUdus anu out LOT IHdL
fact | might have stolen your turkeys.
My dear Madam, you have an opportunity
TO save one poor Christian soldier from
starvation"
The lady, unable to resist the Captains
persuasive elOquence, said: well, | will
go out to the barn with you and let you
have one Of the turkeys" But. sad to
say, there were no turkeys sitting on the
fence. While the Christian-like Captain
had been mOnopOlizng the attention of
my good woman" his FIVE soldiers skip
ped with the five turkeys.
THE BUTTERAILK RANGER.
Comrades. leave me here a little,
While as yet It's early morn;
Leave me here, and when you want me
Sound upon the bugle horn
The soubriquet "Buttermilk Ranger
was given the cavalryman by his com.
rades Of the infantry. The fact is how.
ever. that the Confederate cavalryman
was more of ranger scouting for apple.
Jack and peach and honey than for butter.
milk The typical ranger" was a daring
happy -go-lucky sort Of a fellow, living for
the present, concerning himself very little
about the future. If he had four DAYS
rations in his hayersack he generally got
away with them" in one day. As to hi.
horse, however, be was more prOvident
His horse was his private property, anC
should he become dismounted he would bt
transferred to the infantry, the yer,
thought of which was uncomfortable, espec
ially to the kentuckian or Texan. With
out any conscientious scruples whatever
the cayalryman would steal forage from
his dearest comrade.
Virtually, his home was in the saddle
At night, when not marching, the eartl
was his couch, his saddle his pillow, ant
the sky his canopy. If he had any fau
be mixed it with cold water, adding q lii
tie salt, plastered it on a board and set
before the fire to bake, or he wound tn
dough around an iron ramrOd and held i
over the fire. With the ramrod it wa
easy to broil a piece of meat. Coffee b
had none, except semi-Occasionally, whe
he captured a Federal wagon train. II
was free-lance-galant to the ladies', fon
Of basking in
'"The light that lies
In wOman's eyes"
When the "cruel war was over ther
were few Kentucky boys who did nc
''leave a girl behind him" in Virginia O
Tennessee.
The cayalryman was usually ambition
to possess a good horse, Mexican saddle
pair of big spurs with little bells 0
them, light long-range gun, a brace @
Colts reyolvers, a good blanket som
form of oll-cloth, and canteen of brand
snectened with honey. When he ha
these things, or some of them, he wa
ready sin0 "I'D So oIa pp, IN