The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-11-10
THE ~HE-SPIDER.
He Is Not Treated kindly by HIS
Imposing Wife.
Ainslee's

Ainslee's Magazine.
AS a general thing in the world below Us.
it is the male that has all the fine clothes;
but, with some exceptions. it is the female
spider that bosses the ranch. This heauu=.
full, milk-white spider with the crimson
trimmings has a little runt OF a husband
that goes about in plain brown, with dark
markings, and he IS lucky 10 be alive. As
a rule. in sutherland the males are under
sized. They don't last long. IL is a kind OF
hard world for he spiders. Imagine how IL
would be If a mans wife were l.300 times
as big as he was! He would have to take
all her impudence and back talk without a
whimper. I'm glad I'm not a spidsr-at
least, not a he spider. When he goes court
ing, his girl treats him meaner than a dog.
But even the spideress with the high
est principles Will finally succumb TO the
charms Of some young whiffet or other; but
if he stays around the place he has 20 un-
d~erstand distinctly that he must keep out
Of the way. She's got a lot OF things on her
mind and she can be bothered with him.
He knows what she means. So he hops
around. hangs to her when he can. drops
when he can, lodges when he an; but you
know what the upshot OF II always Il. One
hanging in the web, and the widow stops
and looks at IL before she throws il out.
She smacks her mouth. We'll" says she,
and draws a long breath. "he certainly was
good to me-"
The jumping and running spiders are
really most interesting TO watch in loves
best delirium. Then they put on their incest
clothes and DO all sorts OF cakewalks and
dances for each other. The icius has regu-
lar assembly balls, the men dancing in
front OF the women and showing of their
fancy steps. Every once in a while there
is a scrimmage at the lower end Of the
hall, and all the fellows skate down there,
and you'd think by the fuss that there was
nothing less than murder going on. The
women wiring their hands and moan:
Amt it awful? It's just disgracefuli II
I'd a knowed II was goin' 70 be like this
Oo-ooh! Did you see Riley paste him
them"
The young things cry and carry on. but
the old matrons fan themselves and cape
and talk about their rheumatism. They
know that IL is all got up 70 impress them.
and that nobody gets hurt.
Phidippus morsitans is considered about
the best dancing species, and when the
male rigs out and goes sparkling Il Is a
sight TO seei His first pair OF legs Is long,
them up in front Of the lady, as much as 70
say: Hail, great queeni Sovereign OF my
hearth" They are white, plumy things. and
ought to captivate her first thing. But she
sulks and sometimes she makes a dive for
him. and he has 10 drop the Hail.. great
oueeni" business and take 10 the woods.
But IL he once can get her TO watch his
dancing. her heart is his. He stands up as
high as he can on his four right legs and
crouches down as long as he can on his
four left legs and circles about. getting
closer and closer 10 her. She rushes at him..
He retreats-he is coy. Then he changes
legs. He stands as high as he can on his
left legs and crouches on his right set. II
is when he is going away from her that the
poor girl catches her breath in ecstasy and
literally stands on her head. After he has
circled about 10 times. she exclaims:
Take mel / am yOursl'