The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-09-13

Three of Kind: Ella-"Bel!a told
me that YOU told her: that secret told
you not to tell her" Stella She's Il
1 told her. "Well! told sher I
wouldn't tell ,yon she told me-so don't
tell her did. '-Brooklyn Life.
While an honest rustic was rubbering
through the city he saw sign in book
sellers window which read:
Burns Works for $2"
Contrary to all precedent and expecta-
ton, the honest rustic did not get off his
wagon and go in and ask if Burns
NO. indeed; he clucked to his horse and
said:
II hope he gets it,
For the honest rustic had once been
lured to city job.-Baltimore American
D'Auber-"Have you seen my painting,
me Haymakers, up at the academy
Criteek-"Ies, and | heard Il comment
on it today Complimentary Judge
for, yourself An old farmer who WAS
looking. at it said: WAL, that makes me
tired. '"-Fhiladelphia Press.
Joseph Chamberlain's love for the
orchid is we'll known, and is responsible
for the following: During the progress
Of {; political meeting lately, according
to pearson's Weekly. in the provinces,
at which Mr.. c. spoke, an old man of
the laboring class pushed his way to the
front. aud asked OF an old acquaintance:
1--WE. "Whit i, is he:'
lots 'im!''
''Ihat clean-shaven chap theer-him
with the, eycglass,' responded the man
IL, that Chamberlain lowly ejacu-
lated the qnerlSt in disappointed tone.
"ot course it is. What doe think of
why. l think he's a regular fraud
That's wot l Thinks
His companion ut once entered into Il
spirited defense of the politician.
Il knows nothin' about politics." re-
marked the laborer, pushing his way to
orchard in his buttonhole. and, theer,
it amt nawt but tater-bossom"
"What if tomorrow is Jack Huggard's
birthday?' demanded old Gotrox
you're surely not limiting for money to
buying him a PRESENT."
ooh, no." replied his willful daughter:
II intend to make his gift myself"
'Indeed! Why should you trouble to
make anything Tor that worthless TEL
low?'
'You misunderstood me. I'll put it
more plainly. l intend to make myself
his gift. '-Philadelphia Press
His Favorite Dish-"What is your ia
vorite dish?" inquired Mrs. Frontpew of
Rev. Longface, the new pastor. She felt
sure it was chicken, but it proved not.
''Er-thc contribution plate" answered
Rev. I4ongface absently-Ohio State
Journal
The New Reporter Agan.-"Always,"
sad the astute city editor to the new
brighten up our columns" That evening
the new reporter turned in story about
Il burglary in butchers shop, which
conmenced: Mr.. Hiram Cleaver, the
well-known butcher. is losing flesh rap
idly these days.'-Baltimore American.
Max O'Re!l in his latest bright volume
tells the following story on himself: II
was announced to give a lecture on
Women to the students of large
ladies' college in North Carolina. A cou-
pie Of hours before the lecture three
young ladies called on me at the hotel
parlor. Three charming, bright, most
Intelligent looking girls they were. After
looking at each other for sOnre time, SO
as to suggest that the other should speak,
one at last made up her mind to be the
SpokcSwoman of the little deputation.
1--WE have called on YOU she said, to
ask if YOU would be kind enough to
chanse the subject of your. lecture to.
night. Our lecture course is instituted
for the instruction and the general i'm
provcmcnt of the students and we
thought we should like to hear YOU talk
to us on ii subject which you know some
thing about
II must say that l felt fearfully
SMALL
MY friend. have YOU given any
thought to the future State?' asked he
Of the clerical garb. 'Not much.' re-
nose. ITS all | can do to keep cool
here. "-Philadelphia Record.
,;+ Miss Kulsh che IS you ever go in for
once when I was at college l wrote a
short story and got 500 for it,
Miss Enthusiastically? What was
it,
Mr.. Gay-"'Dcar Father: I'm broke
Please send me il hundred "-PhIadei-
phia Press.
1t is said that the roar of lion can be
heard further than the sound made by
any other living creature. Next to that
comes the note of a woman who has
found mouse in her bureau.-Boston
Transcript.
She-"So you've been across?"
He-"Yes. for the first time
She-"Ah! When you realized that YOU
were on the broad bosom of the ocean
did YOU not feel like shouting out with
joy?"
He-"I don't know about the JOY. hut
| assure YOU l could scarcely contain
myself. -Philadclphia Press
Il hope you appreciate the fact, sir,
that in marrying my daughter YOU marry
a large hearted. generous grip Il do,
sir with emotion>: land hope she in
herits those qualities from her father
Tit-Rits.
Mr.. Angler (opening basket)-"Yes.
dear; l had excellent luck today. III!
show them Why-why, they're salt
Mrs. Angler 'sweetly(-"It's ali right.
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