Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-15

stead. One would-be elegant young
woman in the country asked the writer
il she were "sea-ill" on her return voy-
age,
Phrases that are considered so pro-
vincial as TO grade the speaker are,
Commend me to your good wife,"
"Our home is at -" I'VE have COM
pany," and to refer to ones relatives
as Cousin Mary Uncle John" to
strangers, is not in good taste unless
with the preface of the personal pro-
noun followed by the surname,-"My
unc.e, Mr.. Jones'"
/ A much ridiculed phrase is "a lady
friend Of mine,n "a mathematician"
1t is to be assume that all ones
friends are ladies and gentlemen. "A
man friend of mine "a lady whom /
know" is sufficiently explicit. Natural
courtesy teaches us when to say
woman" when lady" There are
those who may have every instinct Of
gentility, but if their position in life
is not such as recognized by the world
they are not accorded the title Of lady.
In the Society which spells itself with
a capital S, there is a fashion in pro-
nunciation-conformity to whose shib-
boieths marks the exact ruug Of the
social ladder to which one belongs. In
its conversation the form Is often bet
ter than the substance. The-final st"
in "va.et' is sounded, patent" rhymes
with latent" etc. Fortunately the
tendency is toward correctness and SIM
plicity, and small inelegances offend
ears fastidious.
Slang vulgarizes the language, no
matter how piqnant and pithy it may
nh ,,ca ~ &. t~o---. - 49,. o.ip
in d habit. Some one has said that
slang Is language in the making" and
it Is true that what is linguistic hetero-
dcxy in Il age is orthodoxy in the
next, but one may leave the pioneer
work to others, with advantage to our
own speech. Especially do slang
phrases seem to coarsen the converse
ton of young Lowell says OF
Chaucer that che found his native ton
que a dialect and left it a language"
The process may be reversed. Already
a learned professor has ascribed the de-
terioration of the English language
(Which he assumes as proven) to the
fact that the Bible and Shakespeare are
so much less read than formerly.
AS an accomplishment" the at Of
conversation has many advantages. In
some of its various phases it is Always
available, and one never lacks an in
strument.
A few suggestions may serve 10 show
how far simple good manner are. a
guide to success and charm in CONVEX
sation and those who charm can in
fluence.
Offer to each one who speaks the
homage of your undivided att ,ntion.
Look people in the face when you talk
to them. We should talk often but
never long, giving others their oppor-
tunity. Conversation should be like a
game of ball.
Show courteous respect for anothsr's
point Of view. In argument give fair
pay. Concede to you opronen. his full
due, allowing him to finish his state
ment without fear of interruption. I'm
less principle is involved, it is better to
leave him apparently master OF the field
than prolong a discussion beyond the
limits of good taste. You will snatch
victory Fl ,m defeat.
The best substitute for wisdom is
silence. Never CAIN to know things
Of which you are ignorant. some ere
will see through the sham. Acknowl-
edge your ignorance frankly and nat
urally.
Have convictions Of your own Be
yourself and not a mere echo. r., one
else can contribute you peculiar per-
s~onality to the world, and God made
nothing superfuous.
If you are so unfortunate as to be
easily embarrassed, get used to the
sound of your voice and force yourself
to say something. Confidence will be
the reward of perseverance.
A platitude at the right time is worth
a dozen repartees the next morning.
If a speaker mentions a wrong date
or makes some ftrihing misstatement.
do not correct him. No one cares
whether the affair happened on Mon
day or Tuesday.
Never ask leading or personal ques-
lions. We should show curiosity about
the concerns Of others only so far as it
may crafty them to tell us.
10 not feel obliged to talk inces-
sanity. Strive to be natural and at ease.
The nervousness that seeks to conceal
itself under affected or exaggerated
v~ivacity should be controlled, as should
the loud laugh that speaks a pstnt
mind"
Be ready with the small courtesies.
Always thank children and servants.
Talk of things, not people. OF a
charming woman it was said. There
are no names In her talk" 1t is he
height of vulgarity to c~riticise elderly
people, and to betray that your esti-
mate of others depends upon what they
have rather than upon what they are
Show yourself an artist In conversation
when speaking of people. An artist
selects only the best points OF his modei
to make conspicuous, and hides the rest
with clever drapery.
Our worst regrets are for the things
one has said, o for those we have left
unsaid.
Draw out your neighbor without
catechising him. Correst him, if neces-
sary, without contradicting him. Avoid
mannerisms and provincia.isms.
Among the latter nope is worse than
the mistaken pollteness of saying, "
sir" No, ma'am," to ones equal.
It is a distinct discourtesy for two
persons to begin or continue a CONVEX
sation in which a third person who has
Joined them can have no interest, un-
less, by a few words of explanation or
apology, ne or she may be drawn into
1t and may at least listen intelligently.
Make OF your mind a treasury from