The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1901-08-09
TESTS IN WOE AND WARFARE
IN the Very psce Of nee
s~tpsctsos.

StSf~ hnHN ONNh ufNtff1 ~ Is
apparently unlikely situations. YES
pasian died In a jest" writes LORD Ia.
con. and on sick beds. in prisons and on
scafolds the invetcrate humorist has
given vent to wittIcisms. Don't send
me TO Gravesend by. water" pleaded
Hood. when his doctor recommended
h%ydropathic treatment: Sir Thomas
Moore's last utterance In life was a jest.
Dor Quixote." with all Sancho Psnza's
wit and humor. vas composed In q pris-
on. II Is not, therefore. surprising,
that there should be instances OF jests
made amid the horrors Of war. Sieges
appear TO have frequently furnished
material for witticisms. generally ut
tered by the besiegcd. who may have
resortcd to TESTING ns n means of keep
ing up their falling spirits: as the late
belcaguered garrison ai Mafeking or.
gnnizcd loan exhibitions and needle.
work competitions. II must be con-
fessed that the jests uttered by the
holders Of q bclenguercd fortress were
often more sarcastic than courteous.
sometimes even taking the form of ac-
tual insult to their foes; as in the case
when, Ia the eleventh century. the citi.
,cns Of Alencon. bcsirged by William
the %Conqucror. hung out raw hidcs over
their walls with the inscription; "Msre
work for the tanners son"-in con-
iemptuous allusion to the parentagc OF
Williams mother. Arloita. whose IA.
Their was n tanner. says the London
Globe.
In 1913. when Waller. the parlia.
meniary general. brslcgvd Arundel
: rasiic. the cavalier garrison not only
Z responded Ia his Of surrcn.
I der by a fat defiance. bur. in denial Of
their alleged land aciunD want Of pro.
Visions, hung out d white flag AT Christ
mas. and under cover of this parley
called some Of our men and gave them
letters directed TO our general. In which
they desired sack. tobacco. cards and
dice To he scnt 10 them. 10 make them
merry ~ this idle time. promising TO
return rs for them beef and mutton;r
4 request Waller characterized NJ "very
bold and in%solcnt.'' The iu~sinuation
that the pious parliamentary army was
% much better supplied with "cards
and dice" than were the additionally
"d%cbooshed" cavaliers vas doubtless n
sore ofcnsc to the staid parliamentary
general. more especially as he adds;
ave know them 1.-THE garri,on) "a be in
truth hunger.bitien and lacking wa.
ter"
a yet more contcmp'uous Jest was
made upon besirgrrs by the famous
Black Agnes. countess Of March. when
defending the Castle " Dunbar aenins,
its English assHilants In 1898. During
the siege the countess and her maids
frequently appeared upon the town
walls armed with cloths. with which
the, osteniatiously wiped the spots
where the huge stones east by the enc.
my'smnchinc fell. ns though the only
Injury these could do was Ia raise a
little dust. Irritated hy this contempt.
nous treatment. the earl Of Salisbury.
then commanding the English forces.
brought to the assault machine then
known ~ u "suw." from the rrsrm.
blance Of It, shape tu n hogs back
n strougl, constructed timber erection,
which. being thrust close to the walls
OF n town or fortress. protected u party
Of soldiers beneath II. who could then
attack the wall with mining tools.
Beware. M~ontagow.
For farrow shall they SOW.
Cried out the dcrisive countess NJ the
machine approached, and a, the samc
moment u huge fragment Of rock was
dropped from the walls upon III, ma.
shine. which was almost crushed by
its weight. "Behoid the litter Of Eng
lish plgs!" cried the countess ~ the
surviving soldiers fed from the ruins
Of the machine. The earl Of Salisbury
could Jest In turn. Riding one day
within sight Of the walls Of dunbar In
company with another knight, the lat.
ter WAS fatally struck by an arrow from
the battlemcnts. That is one Of the
countess love tokens" remarked Sails.
bury ns his Communion fell; ''v, see
that nlupl AonsS' lnka fts niuran IN
M. bo,r,"
somewhat il.natur,d les, nnop IN.
.tsat.