The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-02
THE FEUD OF THE DUDES.

WRITTEN FOR THE SUNDAY REPUBLIC.
IL all began when Clarence Marmosett
went 10 a vaudeville show. Now. OF
course. vaudeville shows are patronized by
dreadful shopping women. who carry pom
derous collections Of bundles by limerick
wooden handles. with the name OF the store
on yellow labels around the handles.
These dreadful women wear "nearseaI''
plush coats and ''nearsilk" dresses, AMI
rhinestone diamonds. and have with them
troops or sticky and strident children OF
the most appalling precocity.
Clarence knew this sort OF people fire.
Quented the continuous vaudeviiles. But
clarence was daring to the point OF fool
hardness. He read the newspapers. really.
And he often used TO boast-don't you
knowf-of how he had once bought Il ready
made necktie during Il marked down SALE"
Just To zee how the other half lived
He Went 10 the midday vaudeviiles in n
spirit of deviltry. and there he sat. sur
rounded by all sorts Of impossible people.
trying. simply for the novelty OF IL. 10 see
what there was In the anusemen:s OF the
lower middle classes. don't you know?
Near him two giggling girls were eating
peppermints. II was during an .nterm.ssion
when he entered and took his seat. and
there was a rustic OF playbills. although
Clarence noticed the persons here called
them programmes" actually!
ihSihb ychShHS lidi'. lh'Nst'h wv
by a stoop-shouldered. whiskered person.
discoursed discords. while all round rose the
subdued murmurs Of the shopping women
and their awful offspring.
What's the perfesser playing. mar"
wasn't that a funny man who spit In
the other funny mans faceT'
Il wish that Dutch comedian they had
last week would come m. I nearly died
taffin' at him.
Clarence Marmosett felt like swooning.
but he stuck 1t out. and after awhile an
offensive looking person 10 shabby livery
put up a placard which read. "Jesta FL
ley"
Jesta Finley proved to he n rather clever
swell iinpersonator. She was faultlessly
attired: astonishingly so In such n place.
Really one would never have expected IT.
don't you know:
But what caugh. Clarcnce's eye was that
the cuffs TO her dress shirt, in place OF
1eweled buttons. were tied with narrow
black silk ribbons.
A sudden idea came into Clarence Marmo-
setts head. He rose to his feet and stag
gered giddily up the aisle.
He had Il crusher for Percy Pinkhnger!
Percy never dared venture below Twenty
third street on Fifth avenue: he would
never brave the fumes Of peppermint.
while. as for shopping people who carried
bundles and dragged their offspring around
with them, Percy would have died of such
a thing.
Percy had swelled It last winter because
he was the first to nave n Raglan great
coat. Clarence had endeavored to tell the
chappies that all sorts OF offensive fellows.
who clerked In stores. and who wore shirts
with detached cuffs and collars. were wear
ing ready made Raglan great coats. al
though they called them "overcoats."
But Percy P!nkfinger said at the club.
right after Clarence had left the room. too.
that such a statement was inspired by
malicious jealousy-there couldn't lie such
people in the worid-it was impossible.
Clarence had been informed Of all this.
and in his rag IT il believed he poured
water into Percy Pinkflnger's goloshes as