Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-03-14
THE POSTAL CRANKS.
Those Who Don't or Won't Properly
Address Letters.
Their Notions Of Humor ac Displayed in Di.
r,ctions on En-. slopes.

1t does seem an easy ma Vtter 10 properly
address letter in order hat 1t may slip
through Uncle Sans postal mill as speed
lily and safely as possible No racking of
che intellect is required in t he process and
mt little physical exertid n-simply the
inscribing of a name and ad dress. Yet, in
the face of this, ask the mar who superin-
tends the sorting of the NAL in our local
postoffice about it, and it he does not
throw up his hands and tfervently cry,
The Lord preserve us fIr III those who
don or won't know how to, address let
ter it will be because he is too busy to do
more than think his opiaiont
OF the thousands of let srs which go
through the Office weekly it rs surprising
TO learn that hundreds of them, through
faulty addresses, cause the l,ostofnce peo-
pie almost as much extra trouble as the
handling of those which are in proper
form. And the acts of this shine class are
also the most potent factor in keeping the
wheels Of industry humming in the dead
letter office at Washington adj the year
round
Carelessness on the part of lester writers
is the cause of. the appearance OF most OF
these bothersome lnissives, and in this line
San Francisco is entitled to seat i'll the
grand stand as the records of the office
will show 1t is the careless person who
drops letter adorned with a stamp, but
unadorned with an address,. into the box;
it is a kindred spirit who mails a letter to
a friend in some distant city which the
writer locates in n state having no such
CITY within its borders; it is one with a
similar failing who directs his letter TO a
certain street and leaves a blank space be-
low for the posSotfice officials to I'LL III any
city or town it may occur TO them the
street is situated in; it is carelessness that
brings TO the posto flee neatly addressed
ard stamped envelope which is however,
unscalcd and destitute of contents, just
the sort of an affair to cause a fearful
breach between two correspondents, one
angry because of an unanswered letter and
the other indignant because his tale of the
EMMY envelope is discredited. But to tell
of the devious and aggravating ways of
the careless letter writer would take day
in itself.
Ignorance also plays its part IN the ct
ter game. as Il few select specimens VIII
show 1t was certainly an Ignorant per
son who not long ago addrcs sed a letter to
His honorableness the President. h.av-
ing it to the superior wisdom of the post
NN'eNA
petition to the president of the United
states for Il position or an appeal 20 the
president of glue trust for IA job as la
borcr
Ignorance or a childlike belief in the
supernatural powers of the post al officials
lsoinspired the following ELUSIVE, though
vague, inscription on Il rather dirty envel-
cpe dropped in the main office:
apth "a nj W ~
lives in Organ and was goin to -moove to
MoEtanner.
Another missive with n nomadic adj
dress was odorous with mystery. 1t was
directed:
.'Sanr,el Kramer Milwaukee, Wis; if
not, try Columbus, O. or, maybe, Dallas,
Tex or, perhaps, Bangor, Me.
Was this letter representative Of for
lorn hope to reach long lost heir to n for
tune or the frantic attempt of creditor
to run down an elusive debtor?
A piece of handiwork worthy of the inn
mortal Handy Andy is exhibited by a let
ter which, besides the stamp, bore only on
its face this writing:
-"tIf not delivered in ten days, Postmas-
ter will please open and return as per adj
dress inside. Stamp inclosed."
alone who clog up the postal machinery
and cause the letter men to give way at
times to an inclination to use words of
lurid tinge and emphatic meaning. Their
correspondence, of which the foregoing
are ONLY a few samples from an outside
view is easily disposed of by being thrown
aside in the hurry of making up mail and
afterward bundled off to the postal morgue
at Washington unless there is some iden-
LITIGATION mark whereby it may be return
ed to the writer.
There is vast and growing army of
cranks who seem to live only for the pur-
pose of using the mails in their own pecul-
lar, idiotic way. In the operations of
some of these there is studied fiendish-
ness that would suggest a gigantic con-
spiracy to drive postal clerks to the insane
asylum or the clammy tomb. San Fran
cisco has some shining lights in the crank
limo, az may be seen by what follows:
In the first place there is the puzzle
crank who imagines that 2 cent stamp
gives him the privilege Of displaying at
the expense of the postal officials his mar
velous powers as an enigma maker. OF
many which annoyed the postoffice last
year the following is Il fair sample:
F. (color) H. Second Presidency
Seventh President.
10-S-C.
The envelope ought to have gone into
the waste box, but Uncle Sans orders are
To Use all possible means to find the party
to whom Il letter is addressed. So finally
a reformed puzzler in the office deciphered
the address to be- Fred ii. Adams, Jack
son, Tenn"
wholly inexplicable piece of crankism
was developed by a letter that apparently
had no address where addresses usually
are, but in fine writing in one corner
was scrawlcd:
Heat envelope and find address,
When the letter was held to a gas jet, an
address that had been written in invisible
ink was drawn out by the heat. Strangely
enough the letter was marked, 'Impor-
Ant ''-San Francisco Chronicle.
Waiting Ostriches.
The behavior of wild ostriches on the
plains of South America and South Africa