The Iola register., 1901-08-16

principally for pasturage.
An old Leaveuworth deacon is un-
der arrest FOR cussing his preacher.
Where will this tyrrany end
Early rising is a permanent custom
at Clay Center since lightning struck
a house and killed two men still abed
at : a. IN.
Salina farmers report plenty of pop
corn this year. This mixed with sor-
ghum cane ought to make a crisp the
cattle would appreciate.
a bail team at Salina is winning
games. 1t consists of employees of the
body brace factory, and the team uni
form is said to consist of a body
brace with a handkerchief attachment.
1t is charged that " Williamsburg
paper printed card Of thanks which
read: I'VE wish to thauk the kind
friends who helped us in the death of
father"
An old growler at Girard says when
ever he looks at the mouths of a
young couple that sparks next door,
he thinks of "a religious service-a
protracted meeting.
$. II. Ayers of Olathe this year
raised 13,SS7 pounds of blue grass
seed. which he sold for 81, 7OS. 10 He
raised IL on IA acres at a cost for
seed and labor, of Slj5.
a Parsons negress who wanted it to
:ain, wasted no time praying. but
grabbed the first black cat she found
and imprisoned il under an inverted
tub, Rain came tnat night,
In column list Of things that "Gm-
poria people drink. " the Gazette men
tions neither Busch nor rabst prob
ably because the title Of the article
did not contain the word "gulp.'
During trial at Leavenwurth a
witness gave his name as John Szczy-
gil. The Judge very properly had
| him sworn and asked him again what
his name was. The poor man was not
lying.
Fred Wellhouse, the Kansas apple
king, lives in LeavenwOrth and so
does boy who has never eaten en-
apple. This seems funny until you
get onto the fact that the boy is only
six months old.
From NeoGesha comes the story of
the theft of the collection box at the
church while the congregation was
bowed in thankful lness for the size of
the donations. a thief reached
through the window and took it.
Among the Americans who are lick
| ing the English on their own industrial
dung hill is Oliver Shiras of Ottawa.
| He represents New York electrical
firm and will probably spark some of
the titled nobility as a side line.
An Arkansas City man who drew
Kiowa farm was twice given l3 cents
change while buying tickets down there,
joined a party of l3 and slept the night
before he registered in cot l3. Some
people don't know bad luck when they
meet II.
a newspaper has been started in
Topeka with the purpose OF increas-
ing the business of undertakers. Sub
scribers will be entertained with
lengthy articles telling how best to
have themselves stuffed and planted.
A Winfield man holds the record
for bad luck. One evening dogs
chased a cat into his we'll; joking
friends left beer bottle filled with
water on his back porch; and he had
to have a dentist pull tooth the next
morning.
Eagle, following the land rush, sent
this brief but expressive communica.
tion back to his paper:
WATER
One.half Mile.
Down.
When the football season ended
this spring John Algie was elected
captain of next years team. Now he
sends word he will not be back, and
in university circles this is equal to
the gall of a man who says he don't
care to go to heaven.
In the postotiice building at Abilene
Saturday, a funny thing happened
The front is plate-glass. Saturday
evening all over Kansas there was a
sudden drop in temperature. The
cold air outside, and the hot air in
side cracked this plate glass front.
In a letter to the Kansas Farmer,
Mr.. II. NJ. Kirkpatrick of Leaven-
worth, says: "Alfalfa IS all | will
have this year. God bless this drouth
resisting, weed destroying, pasture
supplying, ever growing, ever green,
four times repeating, forever harvest
ing, digestible nutriment alfalfa"
The man who announces the concert
for Ringlings show worked the Tope-
ka audience, which was prepared to
hiss the announcement as customary.
A trapeze performer fell from a lofty
perch into a net. The showmen gath
cred about and finally asked if there
was doctor in the crowd. AS several
prominent and benevolent M. d. s
were advancing the spieler lifted his
hand and voice: "If there are we
want all of them and everybody else
to remain for our grand concert, etc.
etc"
An Exchange says: zone of the
loving husbands of this city, who had
exhausted all the explanations for late
hours and had no apology ready
silently slipped into the house about
O'Clock, softly undressed himself
and began rocking the cradle by the
bedside as If he had been awakened
from a sOund slaan nv infa MT criao ua