The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-04-05
GOOD
Short Stories
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Aue pdluteI MOkuIl, VINO WAS bOne-
times as taciturn as Won Moltke, sat
for an hour one evening at dinner next
to the soubrette, Josephine Gallmeyer,
without volunteering a word. Finally
she lost patience, and exclaimed:
"Well, dear master. suppose we change
the subject"
The. following unique claim is posted
on a mine in the Grand Encampment
In Wyoming: I'VE found 1t, and we
claim II by the right Of founding 1t. It's
ourn. It's 750 feet In every direction
except southwest and northeast, and
there is 300 feet on each side Of this
wrltln'. It's called the Bay Horse
and we claim even the spurs, and we
don't want nobody jumping on this
Bay Horse-thats what's these trees
Is around here for, and we've got the
same piece Of rope that we had down
In old Missouri"
During a confirmation tour In the do
cese Of Peterborough, the late Bishop
Of London put up one evening at an
old manor house, and slept In room
supposed to be haunted. Next morning
at breakfast the Bishop was asked
whether he had seen the ghost. YES"
he replied, with great solemnlty, "but
| have laid the spirit; II will never trou-
BILE you again" Being further ques
toned upon the subject the Bishop
sald "The ghost instantly vanished
when asked for a subscription toward
the restoration of Peterborough Cathe-
dral."
Tim Murphy, the popular comedian,
saw an old colored woman sitting un-
der an awning tanning herself, when
he was in Washington, d. @. ITS
dreadfully hot, isn't 1t, mammy| ask
ed Mr. Murphy. "Deed 1t Is, chile"
said the old woman; "'deed it is.
'Tain't right for it to be so hot this-a-
way. l tell you forty years ago, when
the blessed Lawd made the weather,
we didn't have these stewing days,
honey, no, deed, We didn't; but now
these biggety men up at this here
weather Office has the making of the
weather, they does send us anything
they please, and they amt skillful,
chile, they amt skillful."
Lord Baltimore has told friend how
he once took "Ouida" in to dinner and
how disappointed he was to find that
the novelist devoted herself to the
dishes rather than to intellectual re-
freshment. He said at last, In despair
at having only been able to get Eyes"
and "No" in answer to the different
subjects he introduced: I'm afraid I'm
singularly unfortunate in my choice of
topics. Is there anything we could
talk about to interest your To which
the chronicler of SOciety's shOrtcom-
ings replied: There is one thing which
would interest me very much. Tell me
about the duchesses; l have written
about them all my life and never met
one yet"
Not long ago an American professor
attended a reception in the royal pal
ace, given by the Kaiser to an associa-
ton of scientists, at which William ap-
peared in the gorgeous robes Of royalty,
preceded by liveried chamberlains
bearing the crown and insignia. 1t was
a most impressive display and when
the professor came away he said to a
friend: Il am a republican to the back
bone, but / believe that If monarchs
are necessary they should be ponarchs
to the last bit of gold lace, just as
William is Kaiser" The next day his
friend had an audience with the Kai-
ser, and In the course Of the conversa-
ton told him what the American pro-
fessor had said. The Kaiser laughed
heartily. "That is exactly what be-
lieve," he said; Dom Pedro of Brazil
illustrated the folly Of trying to be a
republican on a throne"