Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-03-16

my daughter! The LoYer-By sneak
ing in on US, sir.-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Cobwigger-So they are not in
your set! Mrs. Proudfut-No, indeed.
They go to a gymnasium, while we at
tend physical culture class.-Judge.
Husband (angrily)-Don't forget,
madam, that you are my wife. Wife
oh, never fear. There are some
things one can't forget.-Detroit Free
Press.
Towne-That was rather disreputa-
ble-looking man ycu just spoke to.
Brown-Sir! that was my brother"
Towne-Oh, beg pardon; 1 might have
known that.-Tit-Bits.
The Indignant Citizen-Don't drag
my name into print in connection with
this absurd affair, but if you do be sure
to spell out my middle name in full
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
In the awful presence: Flush! Not
SO loud. We're having a conference of
the Powers" "Eh; who is confer
ring" MY wife, my mother-in-law,
Caller-Is Mrs. Kafippe at home?
Ellen Gust over)-No, mum. Caller-Do
you know where she has gone? Ellen
Yis, mum. Upstairs, be the back
way.-Chicago Times-Herald.
Mistress (astounded)-You can't read,
Norah? Good gracious! How did you
ever learn to cook so we'll? New Cook
-Shure, mum, OF lay it t not bein' able
t. rade tn cook Enthusiastically Life.
Judge-This lady says you threw
both arms around her waist while try
ing to get her pocketbook. Prisoner
was simply maxim love to de lady,
your honor. l am foreign nobleman!
Puck.
Blanche-Oh, girls! put a piece of
Mays wedding cake under my pillow
last night, and" The girls (breath-
lessly)-What happened? Blanche
ate it all before 1 went to sleep!-Brook-
Ign Life.
Medical Consultation: How do you
find me, doctorY VERY bad. You are
worn out and it is necessary that you
give up all head work" THAT would
ruin me, doctor. Don't you know I'm
a barberT-Ex.
Invaluable Assistant - Did that
wealthy bridal couple have many
trunks? Trunks? They keep Ii
brarian who doesn't do anything but
take care of the trunk catalogues. ~
Indianapolis journal.
High Stately: Captain-What is
strategy in war? Give me an instance
of it. Irish Sergeant-Well, strategy
is when We don't let the enemy dis
cover We are out of ammunition, but
keep right on firin'.-Tit-Bits
well, Borus," said Naggus, the en-
inent literary critic, 81 see you began
the new century right" Flows thatP
asked Borus, the struggling author, 81
don't understand" "You didn't write
any poem about t."-Chicago Tribune
81 wish to see bonnet" said Mis-:
Passee, aged forty. For yourself
miss?" inquired the French milliner
yes" Marie, run downstairs, and
get me hats for ladies between eighteen
and twenty-five" Bonnet sold.-Tit
Bits.
what do you think my mother-in
law saysT Goodness knows! What
is it?' "She says when l get rich she
wants me to put a moving sidewall
on our block, so she can sit on it ant
sew, and get in all the news."-Indian
apolis Journal.
HAS he any show at all in public
life?" asked one politician. only one
There is the remote possibility that hi:
enemies will abuse him so continuously
that a lot of people will get sorry fol
him and vote for him out of sympathy
Washington Star.
Miss Streeter-I should think i
would be horrid standing behind thu
counter all day. Miss Kashkaller-No
nearly so bad as standing in front of i
for only a little while. There are NJ
bargain crowds on my side, you know
Boston Transcript.
Styles-I do hate to see a woman
hanging on to strap in a street-car
Barton-And so you always give wo
man a seat when you have one to give
Styles-No, l never go quite SO far a
that. 1 give my whole attention to m.
newspaper, you see. In that way IN,
sight is not offended by the poor, wear,
woman.-Boston Transcript.
do you subscribe to this statemen
that a woman ought to look up to he
husbandY inquired Mr.. Meekton's wife
"Well. Henrietta" he answered, eau
tiously, 81 do think that when there
any picture hanging or anything Xix
that going on in the house it's man
duty to assume the position of perilou
responsibility at the top of the steT
ladder" -Washington Star.
Henrietta" said Mr. Meekton, "di
you say you bought this necktie BIZ
cause you thought it suited me pei
fectly?" Eyes" "Well, I'm glad t
! hear it. I'm going to wear it and g
| out into the world with renewed hop
| and courage. You know it's an old sa!
ing that handsome men are not as
rule the ones who really achiev
things" Washington Star.
First Clothing Salesman-I do hate
have a man bring in his wife when
wants a new suit. 1t is case of sati
III fying two, and the woman is the hare