The Iola register., 1901-04-19

Lawrence Journal: If the price of
pork continues to advance, Kan sas
| people will soon be tempted to take off
their hats every time they pass pig
pen.
Now there is talk of trying to estab-
| lish q School of Medicine at the State
University and asking the Legislature
| for S75, 900 to erect and equip a hos
pital at Lawrence. tAusa-s q! !azs1lGia
A white man was arrested and fined
So for putting his arms around q
| colored woman at Parsons. He
claimed he was drunk, but should
have offered color blindness as an ex-
cuse.
The unbelievable story is being sent
| out of Lawrence that the wooden avn
ings are being torn down on Massa-
chusetts street. If this be true posi-
bly, that street car talk was not all
fake.
The mayor of Toronto prints a
notice in the town paper that the city
will not be responsible for people get
ting hurt who hang around the alleys
back of the business houses at
nlgnt NJ. -. -. .,1
Messrs. Gum & Webster continue
to improve the new Baldwin Republi-
can. The former is evidently F'good
gun" in newspaper work and can
easily consult his Webster in cases of
doubt.
Little Juan Guriendo, the Filipino
boy who came home with the goth, has
started for home. He wrote General
Metcalf that it was too cold here and
expressed a wish and hope of seeing
him again where it is hotter. - --.s.
The Independence papers shout that
"Coffeyville is running wide open
again" And since the recent storm,
one of the keenest spotter systems in
the State has developed from the jux-
Imposition of dry and wet towns.
While other towns are boasting of
their noble sons Olathe has just re-
called that Ed Little learned to swim
in the OFT mill pond at that place.
Ed visited the place the other day and
the pond will hardly stayl damned
since. -: =:
ElDorado Times: This is the season
wherein the head and foot, of the
house rush around, buy 50 worth of
garden seed, work like beavers SO
worth and finally secure forty-nine
cents worth Of indifferent or poor
vegetables.
Those evangelists after almost Civ
ing up the job as a bad bargain have
| finally got the devil down at Fort
Scott and made him turn loose 113
sinners at one meeting. Only sinners
returning the grip seem likely to sue
cessfully resist separation.
A Cherryvale woman married, but
lost her husband, he being quickly
taken to the pen for theft. She worked
hard and paroled him out. He got
drunk Immediately and abused her.
when she had him arrested, sent to Jail
and is suing for divorce.
Ottawa Herald: The discovery that
Adam and Eve were Chinese is a
troublesome one, since it may lecessi-
tate complete revision of the family
history. Probably the fig leaves were
poppy leaves, and the presence of u
snake only a pipe dream.
Two young people walked all the
way from Pleasanton to Ottawa to get
married. And atOttawa amean news
paper let the news out before he could
get job and earn the price of u
license. 1t was hard luck-not to be
able to be married without $3.50 in
your pocket.
A Pittsburg youth complains that
while celebrating Easter by taking
two girls out driving he was met by
the overgrown lover ofone of the girls
who unhitched his horse and then
hitched it up with it's head to the bug
gy, while he sat helplessly and was
giggled at by thegirls,
Mr.. and Mrs. Brown of Emporia,
have very precious child, more pre-
cious by $50 this week than last. The
aforesaid infant deliberately ate $50
bill all but the figure on the corner
And the question Is if an infant EN-
poria girl can eat $50 how much can a
grown one dispose of in an oyster
parlor.
The men of Marion now hold parties
to which the women are not invited.
An idea of their elaborateness may be
learned from the Record which saws:
The menu, which is French for bill of
fare, which is English for something
to eat, was indeed an elaborate spread. .
The menu consisted of salt, pepper,
toothpicks, and other things.
"War is hell, " says the New York
Sun. "You can call the killing of an
enemy in battle murder if you like; but
war is hell and hell is still on earth:
and while it still remains we are lucky
to possess few such gentleman-like
honorable, enterprising and success
| full devils as Brigadier General
Frederick Funston, formerly of Kan
sas, now of the Hall of Fame"