Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1901-01-11
HOWELL'S BIG FIND.
Vt WAS GUARANTEED TO INCREASE
HIS POPULARITY.
All He Had to DO Was to Read the
Book and Success Followed. For II
Showed How to Make Love to An :,
Kind of Girl.

Kind of Girl. .s.z.
There was glad young light in TIE
eyes of Howell Van Rensselaer, Gibbon
as he sta!ked into the room, tendcrIy
clutching small, pink paper covered
book.
Look outr' he cried. "I'm a danger
GUS man! I'm primed with destinations
clear to the limit, and I've only to look
once at you girls to make you grovel mt
my feet. At last have found out how
these Willie boys who have three din
n.r Invitations every night and who use
crested, scented notes twisted up to light
their cigarettes manage it. They're 60
ing to unload popularity at my front
door from a moving van as soon rs be-
GIN" .% D.' ~.
The young persons who sat with drop
ped jaws said "Why?"
Howell sat down and opened the pink
book. "The name Of this valuable
brochure" he said, lis The Art Of Be-
ing Popular With the ladies' I picked
it up at cheap book stand. The anony
nous Samaritan who wrote it simply
! shovels out wisdom like millionaire
distributing nickels. He tells in various
succinct chapters How to court quiet,
domesticated young lady; how to make
love to proud young lady, poetical
or sentimental girl; how to spark bash
full girl; how to WOO an heiress; how to
make love to literary young lady, a
religious young lady; how to win an nc
tress and how to court widow If you
run up against any other kind of girls,
you have to take your chances or work
your imagination. Next time ! meet one
of those naughty creatures who give
you pneumonia with a single glance
shall remember page 20 and start in to
capture her.
1.-THE author says in regard to making
love to proud young lady: Girls of
: this description are sometimes exceed
ingly difficult to get hold Of on account
of the narrow system Of training they
have been subjected to. Family pride
has thrown barriers around them. Be-
gin the counting Of such girl with the
determination not to be discouraged or
, rebuffed. and whatever may take place
determined perseverance win usually
crown your efforts with success Look
/ at the discreetness Of the phrase, What
ever may take place. It's % much
more tactful than saying. II her father
kicks you OUT
"When he tells how to make love to a
literary girl, the author admits you are
up against 1t; also he reveals the hideous
depravity of the feminine heart, ever
thirsting for dattery. He says: 1T IL
not every man who can do this. and he
should not attempt It unless he has
decided taste for literature and intel
lectual pursuits In preference to domes-
tic or home enjoyments
To the true literary lady the duties
Of wife, as relating to the management
Of house. rearing family. etc, are de-
cidedly repugnant. She will expect you to
be acquainted with al the new books az
they appear, especially works Of fiction
and p0ctry. Admire the productions Of
her own pen. Generally you cannot put
too much 6attery on these matters. Au-
thoresses are usually exceedingly vain on
matters Of their own composition. II nee
essary you may use your influence In get
ting her productions In print. and the
best present you can make her Is to get
printed in handsome style poem of her
own composition. ft
ITS when be tells how to court SEN
timental girl that the author turns on
the calcium light and the orchestra tunes
, up. Doesn't this start your heart beat
| ing? Listen: "A young man who sets his
heart on girl OF this class must live
much on the ethereal. To tie much alb
sorbed in mundane matters will prove dis
astrous to all your aspirations in this di-
rection. You must be thoroughly vHrsel
! in the poetry of life. so thai in your in
itiatory addresses to bcr yen can give a
romantic view to the simplest point in
hand Isn't that cold proposition for a
fellow? ,s l. a.s
''Sit up nights aud men,nrize poems!
I've already learned the little poem he
gives later, when be says reservedly: We
will now suppose the momentous time for
the all important question has arrived.
! Choose some fine, calm summer evening
when everything is soft and delicious.
You may now come to the point by I'D.
dressing her in an imprisoned manner
IN such language as this: : ~.
ooh, my sweetest AnEelina! SAT- Co.,. 60.
BY the blue sky and its cro,vdng stars
love you better, oh, far better than
r. Woman was loved! There's not an hour
OF day or dreaming night but am with thee;
There's not wind but whispers OF thy name,
And not flower that sleeps beneath the moon
But in its hues or fragrance tells tale
OF thee. my love. to my fond. anxious heart
Mr.. Gibbon closed his eyes in rapture
after this excerpt. I'm going to spring
that on Genevieve this evening"" he con
hded. Il think the consequences may be
interesting.
! ''And this author has a simple superhu-
man wisdom. He has delved deep into
the mysteries Of the feminine mind. He
says the greatest trouble is to get on IA
miliar terms with girls who are excessive
" bashful, but these bashful girls arc
usually dear. precious creatures, SO con-
6ding, innocent and sweet: no distrust.
reserve or coquetry. and when married
make the best and dearest treasures that
man can be blessed with His meaning
Is commendable if his grammar is excit-
ed. Further on he makes bright sallies
like this:
1.-The principal difficulty to overcome
In wooing an heiress is to remove the i'm
preston that you are prompted by merce
nary motives | guess that's what has
always foiled my attempts. l did not get
the impression totally removed. Tell
her. he advises. that you would prefer
hor 70 nile hor IN hn hor nf