The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1901-09-26
GOOD
Short Stories

America. Marx Twain NeuI 10 CONSUL
a well-known West End dentist In Lon
don noted for keeping his patients wait
ing long time, and for indifference Il
the age Of the magazines and paperi
left on his waiting-room table to be
guile their tedium. Mr. Clemens was
kept waiting for a solid hour. and Wheel
his turn came his patience had given
out But he cOntented himself, as ht
entered tie cOnsulung-room with tbs
caustie remark: Il see. By your papers
that there IS prospect Of war with ths
TransYaalr'
An amusing incident occurred during
the Easter holidays at Boulogne. The
editor Of a London weekly-a gentle
man who bears a striking resemblance
TO King Edward-was enjoying bis
[ cigar In one Of the principal cafes In
/ the town. when he suddenly became
aware that his presence was causing
unwonted interest and no little commo-
ton. Presently an old gentleman rose
up and shouted: "NiYe lie roi de IAN
gleterre" a sentiment which was heart
lily Joined in by most of the people In
the cafe. The conductor of the orches-
tro, not to be behindhand, Immediately
struck up God Save the King" but
this was too much for the journalist,
who made a bolt for the door and es-
capped.
1t is said that once, when the late DR..
Tanner had asked in the House wheth-
er 1t was true that the Duke Of Cam
bridge had resigned his position as COM
handkerchief, a Major Jones, Of
PenZance, was so outraged that he
challenged DIR. Tanner TO a duel. and
the following Geographic correspond
ence took place: In reply to your
despicable question about the Duke of
Cambridge, | designate you a coward.
Delighted to give you satisfaction
across the water. Pistols" To which
DR.. Tanner at once replied: Wire re-
ceiyed. VIII meet you tomorrow In
Constanople, under the Tower Of Gala
ia. midnight. Being challenged, prefer
torpedoes. Bring another ass.-Tan-
ner"
President r. d. Underwood, Of the
Erie Railroad, tells of an engineer of
fast freight train who called on him one
day and asked him to prevent a deaf
old woman from walking on the tracks
along one section of that division. Sew
eral times the engineer had barely
missed running over her. and he was
terrified lest a fatal accident should
happen to her. THE only way to pre-
vent deaf person from walking on the
track" said Mr.. Under rood, would be
to cut his legs Off" THAT is just what
| will do for my deaf old woman If you
cannot stop her." replied the engineer.
Investigation showed that she was ac-
sell baskets and embroidery, and that
the railroad afforded her short cut to
her destination. She was demonstrated
with, but it did no good And, do you
know" said Mr.. Underwood, "she was
finally run over. That very engineer
called on me, with tears running down
his cheeks one day. and reported I've
got the old lady at last, sir
The Duke Of Wellington was in the
habit of sending the most elaborate re-
plies to letters which most persons
would have thrown into the waste pa
per basket. Thus, for example, an I'M
known quack once sent him a box of
salve, and received the following ac-
acknowledgement In the Dukes handwrit-
ing: Sir. have received your letter
and the box of salves, etc, which you
have sent me. This last will be returned
to you by the coach of Monday. | beg
you to accept my best thanks for your
attention. | think that you and | have
some reason to complain of the editors
OF newspapers. One of them thought
proper to publish an account of me,
that | was affected by rigldity of the
muscles of the face. You have decided
that the disorder must be ticdoulou-
reux, for which you send me your salve
as a remedy. have no disorder in my
face. | am affected by lumbago or
rheumatism In my lolns, shoulders,
neck and back. a disorder to which
many are liable who have passed days
and nights exposed to the weather In
bad climates. | am attended by the
best medical advisers In England, and
| must attend to their advice. can
not make use Of salyes sent to me by a
gentleman. however respectable, OF
whom know nothing. and who knows
nothing of the case excepting what he
reads In the newspapers"