davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
Concluded Next Weekly
QUEER INSURANCE. CLAIMS.
Accident Policy nolders Present sor

Accident Policy Holders Present Some
Freposterous Demands.
London Mail: The other day one of the
bost lsnnwn English accident insurance
companies received a claim for $50. The
insurer had received blow in the eye
which compelled him to stay In the dark
fer month. In the column 'cause of ac-
cident' were written the sardonic words:
! Went to a peace meeting"
The unusual candor with which some OF
the Insured write is amusing. In a recent
case, in which Il client had suffered from
a broken collar bone, there appeared under
the heading. "cause cf accidents" do not
know NntoxicatedD"
Some clients imagine IL they do not send
minutely detailed account of the acci-
dent they will receive no compensation. 1t
is only in this way that one can account
for this statement: II had words with my
wife. She came toward me with a shovel,
and in leaving the room l tripped over a
mat and sprained my ankle"
Here Is a claim for injured feelings: 81
was returning from business yesterday
when my brother-in-law entered the
train. He called me an idle rogue, and
by doing SO degraded me before all the
passengers. Can ] recover damages from
your company?"
A well known American insurance COM
pany once received Il claim from a wom-
an whose husband was insured against
/ total disablement. She said: My hns-
band is quite unable to write. He had a
serious fall last week, and the doctor says
| he will never be able to work as ain.
Doctors and magistrates certificates to
this effect were inclosed. AS the certifi-
Gates were somewhat curiously worded
! the company made inquiries and found
that their highly respectable client had
been lynchcd.
Many of the genuine claims are exceed
! ingly comic. 'Bitten by an adder (sic)
and "knelt on by a BULL" show the curious
accidents that happen to country peo-
gle.
Trapped finger in cash till' is de-
| c!ded)y7 suggestive.
Some of the domestic accidents have
their lighter side. One cannot but be
amused at the hardworking housewife
who claims damages because a clothespeg
fell from the line and struck her in the
eye. We can imagine, also, that 1t was
a youthful husband who, to see his
charming young wife, caught hold of an
insecure doorknob which gave way and
precipitated him headlong down flight of
| steps. Half a dozen accidents a year are
caused by coal exploding, in the fire.
| Either painters have more reprehens-
ble habit of dropping their paint pots on
passers-by or else insured people spend
the bulk of their time under painters lad
ders. Insurance companies always regard
claims for damages done by paint with a
| little suspicion.
Surely the gentleman who put the light
ed end of his cigar in his mouth never ex-
pected to get compensation.
! A servant girl carrying a tray fell down
stairs and broke her leg. She was unin-
sused and, of course. got nothing but in
her fall she burst open the door of a
room in which man was shaving. In
! his fright he gashed his chin badly and
his claim for compensation was paid.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
CHAPTER XII.
II. M. S. victrix.


By next morning had resolved to
take the captain of the Chattahoochee
I saw him into my confidence.
He was an Englishman. The liner, al
though 1t had an American name, sail
ed under English colors. On her deck
was on English ground, and l thought
I might count on his protection. was
taking too much for granted, as
soon found. The plainest truth does
not always prosper when 1T is contra
dicted seemingly by we'll substantial
ed lie
had not long to wait for my inter-
view with Captain Sherborne. Instead
of coming into the second cabin he sent
for me, and l was led before him very
much like Il maleiactor, With steward
on one side of me and auartermaster,
my friend of the previous night, on the
other. had the papers on me in an in
ner breast pocket.
l was not taken to his own cabin on
the poop deck but to the purser's in
central part of the ship, half cabin,
half office, and that officer was also in
attendance. The captain was a square
set, weather beaten sailor man, very
bluff and CHEEKY, no doubt, when 1t so
pleased him, but his mottled red face
i'm its fringe of white whiskers could
shine fierce and forbidding as light
house through a fog, and it did so just
now.
You are the person calling yourself
Hardcastle who has been breaking the
ships rules by trespassing on the first
saloon accommodations? saw you my
SELF
II admit it. What is the penalty? To
pay first cabin fare, presume? Then,
Mr.. Purser, take the necessary amount
and give me receipt. l won't change
my cabin
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
II was employed once In SUIT O
COnSiflnr BILE iinnnrt IN, u.l,i.,l, ~,

II was employed once in a SUIT o.,
considerable Importance In which mJ
client was IL lady" related New Yor,!
iawyer the other day. in talking of Ev.
Srts' death. ITO insure success it was
Thought advisable to secure the services
Of distinguished counsel, and accord:
snsiy was authorized to employ Mr..
ENarts. After talking over the matter
with him. on rising to go. I said to MIR.
ENarts that 1t would be the proper
thing to give him retainer and
asked him for what amount / should
make out 4 check In his favor o.
said he, i guess $1,000 will suffice and
thereupon rendered him the paper
Tor that sum- Not long after the suit
was settled to cur satisfaction, ard
again called on Mr. Evarts this time
TO pay him in full for his services,
which had not been of an arduous ma
ture. How much do we owe you?'
said. Cali 1t So,ooo he responded.
without moments hesitation. L
thought this little steep in view of
the circumstances. and started in
With mild protest You know. Mr.
ivarts that you've had $1,000 Yes.
he said, with dry smile. but I've
spent that. This WAS an unanswerable
argument, and all further effort at re-
dnction ceased"
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
~
"a GIRL E GRlT1.. !
BY MAJOR ARTHUR 6RlFrfls !
by il Fenno /


This will let you out. 1t is the len,
OF your cabin, Beware of the black
| and wait tn after dinner, when we arc
on DECK and the darlSy forward Sir
~; ~. lhrough the stern ports. The
| dlngey is astern, if You can only reach
her. Cut adrift and paddle your owr,
do"
did the rest easier than / thought.
CThe movements of the lingey have
already been told, and the events that
fohowed the escape.)
: was quite lost, at first, When | got
on shore; but l did not care so long as
! was free. l was in France, / knew
that much, and after a steep path 1
soon hit on road cleaning white and
uuSty In the darkness. / stood for n
moment debating which way / should
turn. eastward or westward, my object
nelng to reach some town or place on a
iile ii OF railway, whether by walking TO
ltor taking vehicle. AS soon as came
upon a milestone | struck a match and
read the legend. In the direction was
going Lamballe was distant Is kilot-
meters, and behind me the road led TO
Brest, 160.
1t was clearly to Lamballe not
Brest that must make my way. some
eight miles IN all, and 1 reached 1t be-
iore III p. III. People We're still UP as
passed along the narrow streets, seated
at cafe doors. and l took my place at
one of the tables, calling for .'hock'
and railway guide. l was not long
IN arranging my plan. Fortunately i
had money. plenty of money, in my
pockets. and that made everything
easy. found that a train left at G:3O
q. M. for Paris, the longest, vet the
quickest route, to Southampton.
could catch the night express at Havre
and be in Southampton at daylight BY
this 1 should have a couple of hours or
more in Paris, enough to buy necessar-
les and make considerable change in
my appearance; for | was resolved to-
take this passage incog. and in the fore
cabin. whore should attract no at
tention.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
'BOTHA REFUSES
TO SURRENDER
Boer Commander-in-Chie Rejects
Peace TERMS offered Him by
Lord Kitchener.
CHAMBERLAIN INFORMS COMMONS.
Colonial Secretary Formally An.
nounces the Failure of the
Peace Negotiations.
CONDITIONS CONSIDERED HARst
General Botna Informs Kitchener II,
Gould Not Recommend Them to HIS
Government for Consideration. and
That Generals Arc Unit.

London, March 21.-JoSeph Chamber,
lain, the colonial secretary, has in
formed the house of commons tha
General Botha has rejected the peace
terms offered him.
General Botha, Mr.. Chamberlain said
had conveyed the information in a let.
ter to General Kitchener in which he
announced that he was not disposed tt
recommend the terms of peace Genera,
Kitchener was instructed to offer hin.
ernment. General Botha added that hi.
government and the chief officers en-.
urely agreed with his view
Mr.. Chamberlain added: II propose
TO lay the papers connected with th,
negotiations on the table tonight
When questioned as to whether the
Anglo-German agreement applied te
Manchuria, Lord Cranborne, under sec.
retary of the foreign office, replied thai
ne thought it did
Kitchener Made the Ovcrtures,
The Issuance of parliamentary paper.
on the negotiations between Lord Kit
chener and Cen. Botha is delayed. Gen
Botha's refusal to accept the peace
terms offered him is commeated ,1nor
with an evident sense of relief. The
idea that Lord Kitchener initiated the
negotiations instead of Gen. Botha, a..
had been supposed, is unpalatable i,
the British press
The Daily Mail, under the eiitoria
caption, "Our Rejected Suit" asks why
the government instructed Lord Kit.
chener to sue for peace after the mur.
der of peace commissioners, and con
cludes as follows:
Let the war be pressed to the ut
most and let further reinforcements
be prepared, for they may be needed
but above all let us have no more. ne.
gotiations."
Bobs Is sangulnc.
Lord Roberts in letter to a CORES.
rondent, expresses a confident hope
that Lord Kitchener will soon be able
to secure peace in South Africa, but
thus far there is no sign from Pretoria
or Cape Town that peace is near.
The latest news is that Gen. Fourie.
with 500 men, escaped Sunday from
the British columns that were endeav-
oling to corner the commando east OF
Bloemfontein. Further big operations
will be started in Orange River colony
within a few days.
Den Ian Hamilton, oddressine tho
Authors club In London, made the
curious suggestion that the Boer pris-
oners should be sent to Canada to work
on the railways, where they Will learn
the English language and become i'm.
bued With English sentiments.
Would Like DeWet Killed,
However General Ilitcheners peace
negotiations may ultimately turn out il
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

We know that much and more-that
YOU won't stay there. What takes you
cruising around the frst-class deck?
That's what you've got to answer FOL"
$50 will. to the right person, the
captain, and no one else. Stand aside!"
cried, for l was nettled by the mans
surly speech. Don't dare to interfere
with me! I've good reason, the best
reason; for what I've done, and I'll give
1T, but not to you. Clsar out, or I'll
put you on your back double quick!"
He ;retorted angrily; and we should
voice interposed. that of the captain
himself, for the alteration had oc-
CURED just outside his cabin.
WHATS this quartermaster-quar
rellng with the passengers? And who
are you, sir, who talk so big?"
"A second class, sir, who's been a
trespassing up here constant, and I'd
my orders, sir, from the chief officer to
watch him.
What do you call yourself?"
"Hardcastle is my name on the list.
but"
"A purser's name, Ell? Fishy on the
face of 1T. I'll see you tomorrow for
ward in the second cabin. Take him
there, quarte.master, and tell the stew
ard to have an eve to him; not that he
can get very far,"
Aye, aye, Sir. NOW, heaVe ahead,
will you, or must l make you?" No
doubt he felt annoyed by the support
of the "old man. Now / had recover
ed my temper l did not resent his tone.
/ had had time to consider that for the
present i had better lie now.
So / went straight to my cabin and
to bed. was doubled up with two
others, both ocean "drummers," men
who crossed every month or two, and
they We're already Sound asleep. But
before turning out my light 1 climbed
up into the privacy of my own little
bunk where quickly ran through the
papers and saw with delight that ev
erything was intact. Then I placed the
precious packet under my pillow and
felt that 1 had spent profitable day.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

The sorrow with which the an
nouncement OF Queen Nictoria's death
was received In the United States made
a deep impression on the English peo-
pie, said prominent London barris-
Ter in Washington interview the
other day They feel that it has
brought the two nations into closeJ
sympathy and TO a better understand
ing In England there has never been
the hostility toward America that
americans have felt for England. Even
curing the war of the revolution the
masses of the English people sympa-
thized with the struggling colonies, and
there has never been any national re-
sentiment that they gained their in
dependence The Englishman is proud
on the greatness of the United States.
for he remembers the first Americans
were Englishmen, whose love of liberty
Grove them to the new world. No peo-
PIE on earth glory more in freedom, or
guard more jealousy that which is
theirs than the English
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
MADAME BAvEAs TEsTlFlEs.
A Distinguished Lady, After Travelling
for Six Years In Search of Health, at
Last Finds It In Dodd,s kidney Pills.

A Distinguished Lady, After Travelling
for Six Years In Search of Health, at
Last Finds It in Dodd's kidney Pills.
Hot Springs, Arkansas, March Ia
Especial. .)-This popular resort num-
bers among Its patrons many of the
worlds most distinguished men and
women, but none more so than Madam
Isabelle Ellen Baveas, Life Governor
of the Free Masons Grand Lodge of
England.
Madam Baveas, like most of the 9TH
er visitors, came here in search Of
health. She was not disappointed, but
her cure was not found in the virtue
of the baths, but in few boxes of
Dodd's Kidney Pills, remedy which
she found on sale here, and which is
being used and with wonderful success
by a number of the visitors to Hot
Springs. She says
II Travelled almost constantly for the
past six years in the interests of my
society, and my health gradually be-
came broken down, through the change
of food, water, climate, etc. The doc
tors told me l had diabetes, and adj
vised me to go to the Springs, as they
could do nothing for me. While there
my attention was called to Dodd's Kid
ney Pills by fellow sufferer, who had
been greatly benefited by using them.
II protited by her experience and
bought box, and then another, and
SO on until had used seven boxes. 1t
is With gratitude that l state that they
cured ME completely, and I am now
able to take up the duties of life once
more. am very thankful for what
Dodd's Kidney Pills have done for me,
and as grateful woman shall never
hesitate to recommend them to anyone
suffering with Diabetes"
The very satisfactory experience of
this distinguished woman, should be an
encouragement to all similar sufferers.
Dodd's Kidney Pills are soc box,
six boxes for $3.50. Buy them from
your local druggist If you can. If he
cannot supply you, send to the Dodd's
Medicine Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
MARK S. BREWER DEAD.
Member of Civil Service Commission Di,
In Hn ailiiliri

Member of Civil Service Commission Die.
In Washington.
Washington, March 21.-Hon. Mark
S. Brewer of Michigan, a member OF
the civil service commission, died here
lest night from a complication of dis.
cases. Nj Brewer had been at home
sick for the last ten days. although fer
some time past his health has been
poor. He was Ga years of age and
leaves n widow. The funeral will he
held at Pontiac. Mich. Thursday.
Mr.. Brewer was a one time active i'm
the politics of his state. He served as
& state senator several terms and was
in congress for four terms From 1851
to 1885 lac was in the consular service.
being stationed at Berlin. He has been
q member of the civil service commits.
sion for several years.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
MalaprOpisns.

London Globe. The French author.
tiles" says contemporary, Cooked the
gift horse In the mouth and found II
TO be a white elephant If the French
authorities really imagine that the only
difference between gift horse and a
white elephant lies in It's teeth they be-
tray woeful lack of knowledge OF
zoology.
The following appreciation of the bur-
dens of state is reported from third
class carriage of the rural districts:
Now, that there prime minister, I'll
warrant is job amt no sine qua non.
neither
The mariners of Dover Pier report with
gfee remark of eT elderly gentleman
after landing from he Ostend packet on
Thursday last: "Weil. it's the first time
I've ever crossed this way. and thank
heaven were again on terra Gotta"
Another malapropism has been for
warded by a correspondent, who says:
"a friend Of mine. who had just returned
from Algiers, was asked what he thought
of the place. He replied with conviction:
My dear fellow. no tongue can con-
ceiya its beauties"
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

Apropos of the agreement entered in.
TO by the American Publishers associ-
alton to stop the practice of cutting
me IN prices of books, the following Mark
Twain story is being passed aroma :.
The humorist went into book store
ana asked the price of a book. The
clerk furnished him the desired i'm.
formation, whereupon Twain inquired
II there was any discount allowed tG
publishers. This cut the price down
90 per cent. Then the clerk was asked
II there was anything allowed off for
authors The authors discount was sc
per cent. likewise. The humorist final.
y vouchsafed the information that hs
was particular friend of the proprie-
tor of the establishment. and this Sc.
cured him reduction of % per cent
vain took the book and asked how
much 1t was. LAS near as / can call
eulate, replied the clerk, I'VE owe you
the book and about 37h cents. Call
again -
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
Warned by q soothsaysr.

Detroit Journal: The soothsayer
gazed long and earnestly into his PALM
Beware of dark woman!" said she
finally.
BLACK Maria" gasped the bank
cashier, paling.
He was deeply affected by the warn
ing. Indeed, he was changed man
henceforth. He stole but sparingly, nor
could he be induced to accept the SUI
perintendency of the Sabbath school,
choosing to remain teacher of the bible
clnss merely.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
TO REDUCE FRENCH FORCE.

Garrison in China Soon to 30 Decrea.ed
10000.
Paris, March 21.-1:so p. m.-At a
ca binet council held today the minister
OF foreign affairs. NJ. Del Casse. related
the progress of the peace negotiations
at Peking. He said the latest dis.
patches made no mention of Incidents
occurring ar Ten Tsin.
a dispatch from Peking To- the H,vo.
agency says the state Of the Chinass 90
negotiations viii soon permit the e. res
auction of French forces by about IN :
Wv men. Who viii be repatriated.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
SYmnathY.

Washington Star: Sometimes" said
the sympathetic man, II feel sorry for
the noble red man, who must stand by
and see all his glories swept into the
past"
Broncho Bob looked at him in sur
prise, and then answered.:
We'll, mister, you'll excuse me for
mentionin' 1t, but I'm feelin' downright
sympathetic toward you. There amt
nobody on earth that, feel sorrier for
than anybody who doesn't know any
better than to be sorry for Injuns."
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

rather remarkable statement which
was credited to the Chinese minister
not long ago, in which he was made
advance intermarriageo of whites and
negroes, as a solution of the race prob
lem In America, is denied by Minister
Wu. He makes is known that he was
Incorrectly quoted. It's no business Of
mine he says, Ito interfere in your
domestic affairs"
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
KISS COSTS HIM $500.
Indianapolis Jury Fixes the Price Jas. &
Wheat Must Paw

Indianapolis Jury Fixes the Price JAS. G
Wheat NIust Pay.
indianapolis. March 21.-The market
price for a stolen kiss and an embrace.
was fixed at $1,5OO By a jury in Judge
McMasters branch of the superior court
In deciding Lillian Bonniiield's action for
$1,000 damages against James c. Wheat.
formerly in charge of postoftice station
A.
Mrs. Bonnifeld charged that Wheat
forcibly entered her apartments near the
postoftice January 6. 1885, while her hus.
band was away at work, and pressed a
kiss upon her lips and embraced her
Wheat resigned his position as a result
of the escapade
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
Accepts Cnrnerie,s OfYer,

St.-Joseph, Mo-, March 16.-The city
council last night accepted the offer Of
Mr.. Andrew Carnegie, giving $685. 900 to
South ST. Joseph for library and
night school, providing teachers and a
librarian and assistant were furnished
by the city Resolutions expressing the
city's thanks for the gift were ordered
sent to the giver
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
ANOTHER LEADER CAPTURED.

Dioceno, a Tagal Chief, Wounded and
Taken Prisoner.
Manila, March 2l.-Captain Shanl,s of
the Eighteenth United States infantry
has captured Dioceno, the noted Ia ga,
leader. in Capiz province island of Pa.
nay. Two rebels We're killed and three
men, including Rioceno, wounded.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

Fifty Years ago March A." said Rep.
resent&tive Grow of Pennsylvania ~
was sworn in as a member of tho
mouse OF representatives. / served con.
uhuousiy for twelve years, then retired
10 private life fer a third of a century.
ana was reelected to congress in 1891
MI Grow is now &c years of age.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

According to the latest statistics bull.
letin. In ITO years the gross. receipts of
the United States have amounted to
sS2. 2.66S,31 54S.13. In that time the gov
ernment has lost through dishonest
agents and officials approximately
s1H.000.0O0
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

The bible on which President Mo
hinley was sworn on the 4th OF March
Is new one 6laS9 inches, from the
oxford University press, printed in
pea, bound in Levant morocco, with
gold.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

The Texas legislature has decided to
submit to popular Vote an amendment
TO the state constitution making the
payment of poll tax a prerequisite to
voting The proposed amendment re-
qulres that the citizens shall present {.
recelpted poll tax bill or shall make
oath that the tax has been paid before
ne n, VIII be allowed to Vote. 1t is stated
mat the object of the amendment is to
Increase the public revenues and make
more difficult and burdensome the coll
onlzation of Mexican voters In the dis
tilcts bordering on the Rio Grande
river a I election times
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

The Delta Phi fraternity of Cornell
mas purchased in ithaca the home of j,
CONN Forbes, the we'll known portrait
painter on Stewart avenue. in the heart
OF the fraternity district. The purchase
pIice was sl7 COO. Mr.. Forbes viii re-
move To Montreal
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21
Fun In the House.

Cleveland Plain Dealer: Distin-
guished Visitor-.What is that noise
like the wild tramping of many horses
that I hear from your congressional
building?"
Native-"o, they are jumping on
Lentz again.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-03-21

The three society men of the senate
-Depew. kean and Wetmore-who are
so popular that they never dine at
nome except when they give dinners
to their friends, stole quietly into the
senate restaurant the other day, q
ashlngton correspondent says. Each
senator looked at the menu card list
isssly. TIN very tired of terrapin and
same said Senator kean. so am /, .
seid Senator Wetmore. $50 am r."
echoed Senator Depew. "and L am GO
ing to eat some bacon and greens. .
kean and Wetmore almost shouted for
JOY That's what we want" they
said, and in five minutes three senate
society men could have been seen eat
ing bacon and greens as If they had
never tasted anything one half as good
in their lives