The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-04


Nov, then. Ready: Beg pardon.
the expression is still little too stern.
Relax the features a trifle. A little
more, please. Direct your gaze at the
card on this upright post. All ready.
One moment again-pardon me. the ex,
"Jemima!'' roared Mr.. Cheeseman,
coming out from behind the screen and
you! Smile!''-Tit-Bits.
-:O:-
Hopeless.-"I never knew you to have
the right time. What sort of Il watch
do YOU carry, anyway" u don't know
what make it is. but call it Faith be-
cause it's without good works and there
fore dead. '-Philadelphia Press.
A Highland hotel-keeper was one day
having a sluabble with an Englishman
IL the lobby of the hotel about his bill
The stranger said it was ii gross imposi-
ton-he could live cheaper in the best
hotel ir London. The Highland landlord
5tpsd ~ 0h nae 4So doot sE nae doot but
Not bit Of it" replied the stranger
"Wcel, them replied the host, las ye
seem to be sensible bit Gallant, I'll tell
We. There's 365 days in the Lunnun no.
tel-keeper's calendar; but we have only
ME moo, freen'? We maun max hay in
the Hlelan's when the sun Shines for it's
urcn seldom she dis. '-Scottish- Amer
icali.
The Patron-,l!sn,t there some mis-
take about this bill:''
Propris Sso +1s{s WEE, wsskS' board and
The additions right, but I've got
more money than that. "-Life.
The following incident occurred while
a certain renowned Irish regiment was
on the line Of march from Mooltan to
Chaubattia.
guard and had two very refractory bull
locks with which to draw the baggage.
He appealed to the quartermaster for
camel instead of bullocks, as he could
not control them, but the quartermaster
told him he had only one TO spare, and
that he wanted it for case Of emergen-
cy. Pat replied:
Faith, sor, it you give me the camel,
III put the case. of emergency wild the
other package in the cart" London
Spare Moments.
Tommy-"Say, paw, what is the differ
ence: betWeen an amateur poet and pro-
fess;Onal?'
NJ
is the one that keeps the professional
starving. "-Indianapolis Press.
The rivalry of the sexes may be sus-
tanned on various grounds. Two men
were watching lady pavement artist in
Kensington, with disapproyal written
large all over their faces. ''They leaves
us nothink, not even the pavement, to
make a honest livin' out Off sighed one
Nho with
admiration at portrait of the King in
reds and yellows. 'They beats us 'oller.
too he answered, bitterly. The FIRST
speaker, though contemptuous. was
equally fair. 'Yuss," he admitted,
"whcn they drinks, they drinks till a
mans a limekiln to 'em!'-London
Chronicle.
Stanley (aged yearsl-"M Mamma,
please sing that lovely song called The
Mammal don't know any song about
hash. Stanley: Is it a funny song?','
.x6 sf2%;ey song: indeed mamma; it's
Mamma-"Well, l can't think what you
mean,'
Mamma "a little later sings from my
Dearest Heart'')-''The grave is cruel,
the grave is cold.''
Stanley (excitedly)--'. That's it. mamma;
ludl IL. Dul i. mdUe Il UllSldke. l
wasn't hash; it was the gravy."-Leslie's
Weekly.
The Usual Fate-''What has become
Of that octogenarian who was telling US
years old?'
lie died It the age of 82."-Pittsburg
CErcnicc-Tt.egraph.
Loo h.
ligations?' said one New York saloon
keeper.
Because answered the other, 'he
| neglected to stand in with the police
Washington Star.
HUSBAND are as gloomy as an
owl Sulking because I can't get you
that new bonnet, l suppose"
''Wife-"No, I was only going over
some old letters, that's all. It's nothing
Of Importance. Only fit Of the blues.'
What letters?"
Love letters
Some you wrote?'
"Some l received"
| "Oh, mine, eh?'
NO. some received before met YOU.
It's of no consequence. None at ALL How
is your cold ?'-New York Weekly.
Have got the pleasing expression
you want? asked Mr.. Gubbins.
Yes. sir" replied the photographer.
II think that will do very WE'LL
Then hurry up, please. 1t hurts my
| face."-Tit-Bits.
Eff yer wants ter make a man feel
satisfied wild dis worl, des tell i'm dat
his times up, en- he gwine ter de next.
Furrin missions is all right, but hit
makes folks feel funny ter see a heather
in "A beaver hat en- fur overcoat whilst
! we gwire roun' in hickory-stripe shirt.
Some folks wants all de, gold what
you kin dig fer 'em. but when it come
ter diggin' it deyse'f dey gifts a certifi-
cate fun de doctor sayin' dat what dey
needs il res'.-Atlanta Constitution.
| -:O:-
Lady, always come out so plain in
am.''
| Photographer (gallantly)-"Oh! mad
am, that is impossible"'- Moonshine.
| --:O:-
| Vonorohlo H.