The representative., 1901-03-14
OUR FORUrl
Somewhat Sarcastic.

Editor Representative: Having re-
ceived letters from several old Alliance
men, requesting me to give. them what
l know in regard to the work of Hon.
J. G. Hanley, secretary of the Allied
Agricultural Organizations of the World.
also in relation to ownership of the
Representative 1, with awful forebod-
lngs for the future. proceed to the task
set before me. 1t is with vacuOus feel
ing in the region Of the solar plexus that
l assume the momentous responsibility
OF, in the mildest manner possible, com
patible with my general makeup, and in
conformity to the history of my ances-
tors, crlticising so noted, far-famed and
worthy parsonage as his honor, J. C.
Hanley
MIR. Hanley has proven himself to be
genius of no common order-a man Of
gigantic intellectual attainments-an
orator Of ability; iwriter of renown, an
organizer of men fonly equaled by the
most celebratedq personages of history,
and no doubt his name will be emblazon-
ed on the scroll, 81 fame with those of
Napoleon and Mark Hanna To prove
that he is entitled to all the praise |
have bestowed D upon him, it is only
necessary that your attention should be
called to few of his mighty efforts and
wonderful achievements in behalf of the
guileless, innocent, unsuspecting yeo-
manry of the weffds 80 aass.
One of the first acts of this generous
philanthropic reformer was to promise,
by circular, over his own name, to pro-
vide offices for about 1000 Alliance men,
all for the beggarly pittance of 81 each.
which was to go into the excheuuer of
this commander-in-chief Of the allied
forces of the world, and for criticising
the same your humble servant was
threatened with suit for criminal libel
Later followed several calls for meet
ings of various kinds, delegates to which
were to be admitted upon payment Of
81 per head
But the next big scheme for the better
ment CD of the honest toilers. as out
lined in the Minneapolis Tribune. was
huge meeting in seven by nine Office in
Baltimore block, St. Paul, where were
to be assembled representatives of all
the allied organizations of the universe
at least of the planet known as the
earth, and there was a hint that Prof.
Tesla had been communicated with re-
questing that he should try to have del
egates in attendance from Mars for sure
and Jupiter. if possible. According to
The Tribune correspondent this last
meeting was held to determine to which
political party the 5000, 900 votes of the
allied powers should be thrown. When
we cogitate upon the awful, sublime re-
sponsibility, the far-reaching effects
upon the unborn generations yet to be,
which was assumed by that august trib-
unal, we bow before it's magnificent
granduer and doff our sheepskin head
gear to the greatest, grandest mogul
whose history will reverberate adown
the corridors of time when the name Of
Caesar is only a dream.
But the crOwning achievement of this
erudite benefactor of the human race is
his herculean work for the ship subsidy.
He tells us that he has been to Wash
ington, and has had private interviews
with President Mckinley Mark Hanna
and other servants of the people, and
that his first lieutenant, Judge" M. P.
Moran, is nowfion the briny deep en-
route to Europe, to visit Paris, Berlin
and other European capitals. in the in
terest of the toiffng hosts of the world.
When we contemplate the heroic forti-
tude, the unselfsh devotion, the love of
humanity which seems to influence the
neart and souls Of J. C. Hanley and
Judge M. P.t Moran. who, at great
pecuniary sacrifice Ito themselves (and
incidentally toJot. fill ct aD, make
long trips to the nations capital, and to
foreign countries, lin behalf of human
brotherhood, we say to the multitude
who make up the 1,400 active alliances
of farmers in the state of Minnesota,
who may believe that the constitution is
based on correct principles when it. says
that money shall not be taxed from one
class Of citizens for the benefit of an
other class, or who may not appreciate
the fact that it is right to pay bounty
to ships that carry freight but wrong to
pay farmer to haul freight on wagon,
that in the persons OF the aforesaid men
toned gentlemen, the Allied Agricultur-
al Organizations of the World have
champions Of whom we should feel
proud, and that we should lend all our
energies to aid them in completing the
most colossal schemes ever born in the
brain Of Mark Hanna or Jim Hill.
As the first rosy dawn OF the Twen-