The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-10-20

should forsake me entirely to knot my
handkerchief IN the grating firmly add
thus attract the attention OF any stray
passer- BY. Once more shrieked with
the lOudest voice i could command
still fOrtifying myself with the hope
that, some faint echo must reach the
floors below, but the sound was only
swamped in the abundant upholstery
which surrounded me. IN despair 1
then applied my fierce temper in ac-
/ tive attacks upon the walls. With
shovel ard with poker pounded,
I picked. dug, beat. until my poor hands
were bleeding, but at the end Of half
/ hour / had only succeeded in making
a : ight DETACHMENT
/ What idiocy to build storage houses
/ SO strong at the risk of wailing up
I hum life" / rallied. But harki
/ How all the bells in the city are rinG-
/ ing. Why, the air is full Of bells"
I Some OF them were changing faint
/ and musical. other loud and nearer.
Ny morbid attention was diverted for
a moment from myself, so acute. so
magical was the impression of those
I bells
1T is Sunday morning" came the
surging thought "All the good peo-
I pie are going to church. Mammals
/ brOugham is just now rolling up the
avenue" and this suggested another
/ train of thoughts and another inspira-
/ ton.
Lying there listening to those bells
/ all my vanished illusions and lost am
/ billions came trooping back to me.
! Quite distinctly did 1 hear fathers So
4 nOrouS voice IN the DOXOlOgy and pic
] ture Amelia's pretty figure slipping up
/ the aisle, late, as usual. Then
/ dreamed wistfully of the Sunday din
ner at the hotel. for, truthfuIly this
animal longing transcribed all others
! In moment l was in a fitful dose and
! really dreaming, for now I was there
! az that splendid feast and being served
20 the oainties provided by swift-foot-
| ed walters. NV hungry mouth was
] open TO receive bite when suddenly
! ooh, horrorsD the viands were
/ changed to vile, writhing snakes and
| loathsome lizards and toads before my
/ eyes, and a terrible sickness possessed
me; Thus did sleep intensity the agony
I of my position.
The chimes were still ringing when
awoke- and by a Strange paradox one
was pealng out Cardinal Newman's
/ was moved-but, oh, the bitter irony of
/ its words to me in that pIacel
Lead, kindly light. amid the encir-
cling gloom,
Lead thou me on!V
rang out the tuneful bells.
What power kept impelIing me IN
I re1eat these words over and over
! I'm when | was enveloped in dark
ness and never again expected to see
/ the sun or moon or glory of the stars ,
/ me hour of L. which I awaited with
mad and feverish expectancy, was for
me the last flicker of hope. II nobody
/ came at noon
sunday is a day Of rest" was my,
startled. frantic thought, "NobodI,
Works on Sunday. But maybe thew are
/ oDllged TO in "A storage Warehouse.
| % hoping and despairing by turns
I me SLOW hours passed into tedious
niitnutes' which ! counted by seconds
|hlIe the bells kept up their iubiIanf
| !dhBle- and all of the world was vast
Ils movers upon the churches. the
D,,;,o,,e me rich; the prisoners. All. the
/ "a l9ohers! Why not somebody vast
ing the scent of violets upon me?
mus again I lapsed into maudIin
81 PITY Would Morris Eear a black
| Ina on MS sleeve. 1 wonderedP And
800, YOU'D he mourn much over my
uhlIIheiy taking Off What would the
FMspapers say about me?
ne sensational manner in which 7
! .ILiu ne served up to the eloatin
puDuc gave me sudden revulsion.
hanging Is most unbecoming work. .
vas my instantaneous decision. ssNo
| eIectrotype of me as when found. Attn
mouth gaping open and eyeballs pro-
uoIng' shall ever be given to the
All. there at last was p O'Clock
! striking. And now must como the 49,
ment Of my deIivelau If come If ever
Wculd trembling and in cold per-
I Splration, / strained my ear at the
grating TO catch the least approachino
s11na. out nobody came Was il, pos
siole that nobody would come?
On I don't want to die when I have
\ everything To live for. / cried in the
extremity of my self-pity II don,f
want ID ole and be pol1ed in a hole in
the ground and forgotten. 7 love life
! ~ IS SO precious when one is well be-
IONed, and to be forced to give il all I'M
against ones will is hard, hard. in
deed" IN
So to the refrain OF Il don't want IN
de 1 moaned and wept and clenched
my hands over the sheer pity of it,
faSicaiiy tearing my hair until the
h2frpins ratified over the pavement like
nan. My limit of human endurance
was almost reached, and 1 knew thai
l must spend another night with
nose gyrating rats, growing, like my
seiI, mercer and more savage from
munger, either madness or idiocy must
result
My brain is becoming confused ever
new, l cried wildly. But oh. how
hungry I am. It is only a question al
how long 1 shall be able to endure. III
were only sure that 1 shouldn't be
such a hideous fright after hanging
ou- one mates to make a scarecro1v OF
ones self. After all, smothering is bet.
ter than hanging. and in the end it vii
not be-the rope"
A reaction to this intense state OF
feeling now set in, and I suddenly be
came very sleepy. But 1 could not hope
to sleep for long with that hunger
SEawing me inside and that horrible
thirst gluing I'D my throat. Sleep
/ however, was forgetfulness of present
woe for time at least and. crawling
INTO Ily nest in a state of utter ex.
haustion, I soon fell into a profound
slumber. When I awakened | was un-
able to move and bereft of earthly hops
or ambition.
rs this the end so soon?" was m,
perplexed query. "Ah. no: it is buf
the beginning of the end."
The place was tragically still. and
the terror of this intense silence upor
my overwrought nerves was indescrib.
able. I prayed that delirium NIGH
! come to numb my senses.
Let me not know. let me not bs
conscious any more" was my cry.
Soon afterward the clock struck
to mark the close of that Sunday after
noon. and. lying there listening. I ever
: dared to hope that the tardy one would
come at this turn Of the watch. so in.
aiienabie is the instinct of self-preser.
walton.
DelusIor upon delusion. Nobod,
came. as before.
Why did not the bells ring again il
the evening? Had the whole work
drifted away into clouds? Was any
L