Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-02-28

im~mutability gave pattern for the stat
utes of the ancient Modes and Per-
SLAMS, it rose, declined, and-fell. II
was warm enough member, perhaps,
while it lived, but dissension's killing
frost came and wilted it like a snow
fake on a June rose or an icicle on an
apple blossom. There's no warmth in
it now; the fires are out, the room Is
dark, and Annie Rooney" has fed
with the graphophone. All, yes. the
graphophonei Shakespeare. who wrote
some passable truths set to verse, gave
the people Of his time a sopg-and-dance
to the effect that Emusic hath charms
to soothe the savage breast" and that
concordances of sweet sounds are ele-
waiting to The soul, Or ~thereabOuts; but
that was long before this day when We
tie them up and peddle them out and
sell them like radishes, at so much
per bunch, with a goodly per cent. of
by the doZ. Is it that the l~atter-day
commences, cheapness and univers-
ality of the product of the divine art
has robbed it of its Avonic attribute?
We don't know; but one thing is certain
in the case of the Fasteners. it was
not a solace but an %irritation; it
eventuated in treason, stratagem and
spoil, and set its subjects by the ears,
awry and tangled out oftune. Ic brief,
the history of the decline and fall of
the N is as follows: The Fastime
Club a few weeks ago was fourishing.
Personifying, the bloom was on her
face. her step was light and hopeful,
and the buoyancy of youth promised
'.long life and happiness" as we say
in the wedding notices. When some
member proposed, and all agreed to
the proposition, that a graphophone
be secured to e~nliveu the passing hour,
no one dreamed hal the serpent in
pleasant guise and seducing form was
about to be introduced; that it would
prey upon the damask of her cheek
like a worm i the bud. Alas and alack!
How oft doth the apple turn to ashes
upon the lips! We build up a project
and it o'erwhelms US like a deadfall.
We put on our armor in pride and go
out to conquer in glory; how often doth
the mutability of our solar plexus bring |
all to naught. Well, the Fastime Club
rented a g~raphophone, with the privi-
lege of purchasing, if the members so
desired. eve stop right here to re-
lieve public anxiety by stating thai the
miserable instrument of destruction
was not purchased, but is now stored
in its owners shop. NO doubt awaiting
other victims.) The evening that 1t
arrived found the Club in its highest
felicity. Every Fastener was there.
each arrayed, like the lamented Nc
Ginty, in his Sunday suit Of clothes.
The President, before the Club went
into formal session, wore his last-year-
but-one's silk hat, assumed only on
state occasions; the Secretary was in
full evening dress; and the Treasurer
sported a sealskin vest and drab trows-
ers. They we're all happy in antici-
patton, and Joy and good humor lighted
every face like Capt. Clark's electric
lights of a somber winter evening. |
The G. A. r. box enclosing the fate
full machine stood in the center of the
room, a shrine to its worshippers.
That it contained was holy, so to
speak, and TO none but reverent, capa-
Bile hands must the u~ncasing be en-
trusted. The Club e into formal
session. A member moved that the
Machinist be appointed a committee
of one to release the grapbophone from
its prison. The motion was seconded
and a lively debate followed. 1t is not
to the discredit of the Fasteners that
each member felt himself fully equal
to the pleasing task, and, it may be,
hoped that in the turmoil of hot debate
it might suggest itself to the Club that
his pole was the q to knock the per-
simmon. But the member from the
West End al!ayed the tumult and
brought temporary harmony out of
discord by sheer force of logic. He
favored the motion; the Machinist was
self-evidently the proper One
who, from the rough uncouthness of
its native growth, could fashion, at
one stroke. as 1t were, the log into a
perfect hub, might be safely entrusted
with the delicate task before them.
The hand that could evenly direct the
whlrling chisels, and the eye that
viewed unappalled the savage gyrations
of their component parts, were the
hand and eye fitted by nature and train
ing to open the box and deliver its
COUG0HGS. CO upOu fOUS buS MoCL1lHAcG
was declared The Man. eve take no
tote of the bilious remark of a dis
gruntled gentleman to the effect that
the Machinist got all the votes because
every voter, not being in it himself,
was determined to knock out the as
pirations Of all the other fellows.) The
opener set to work Immediately and in
a short time the box was safely de-
liyered. The graphophone was rev.
erently placed upon a table dedicated
to the purpose, and the records opened
up. The speaker" and the horn had
not been fully adjusted before some
member cried out, s'Give us annie
Rooneyi'" "'sAnnie Rooney" an
swered the Machinist, who was also the
ex-oficlo Music Director Though not
without protest); ".Aunie Rooney
Do you think this phone ome from
Noah's ark? No, sir, nor from Des
Arc, either. Our records are recherche
and only of the latest-as BELTS a Club
of our standing!" This appealed to
the pride of the Fasteners. and the
champion of ..Annie Rooney" was for
the time being silenced. Everything
being properly adjusted, steam was
turned on. and the machine started in
with its observation-disclosures and classic