Hutchinson gazette., 1901-10-10
UNCLE BEN AT CHURCH AGAIN


follered Mrs, Ben around an we took
seets me next tu the wall an her bi me,
about half wa between the rawstrum an
the door, Arter we he'd awl got seeted
an the singin books was passed around,
(they Didn't give me emmy mebbe be-
caws spoak out in Sundy SchooD the
conrigegashun riz and sung the docksaw-
logy. jined in the base as had hearn
ii sung so much at close Of meetins in
Injeanny node It we'll After the sing
in the preecher prade a short prair
When he got thru put on mi hat an
wuz jlst goln tu sa hello Bill tu friend
across the house, an Mrs, Ben pulled
me down by the cote intu the sect an
toald me meetin wussent out It wuz jist
the bcginnin, phelt little cheep, but
artcr all It wu2 about the only chance |
he'd tn sho mi nue. suite as will tell you
about later. Well after singin an the
preecher redln lrum big book, whole
lot ov people on the rawstrum sung a
song, Mrs Ben sed tha wuz the quire,
"Sumthing Lord fur Thee" wuz what
tha sung about, euddent understand
them very good, but tha seemed very
ankshus tu Civ the Lord somethin, but
didn't have 1t tu give, which leeds me tu
think the quire wuz made up Of lawyers
their wives and dawters. An the recon
tha he'd nuthin tu Civ is on account ov
their bein no salunes in our town. Men
cant git anything tu drink which mite
Iced them tu du sum unlawful act an be
brot before sum coart Of jusIic an hav
tu hire sum lawyer tu pleed their case.
Thus yu see the lawyers ar havin hard
time tu make lvin, let alone tina an
there families all givin sumthing tu the
Lord. So yu see that even the churches
ar sufferin on account Of the slender
views Of phew.
But to resoom, After another prayer
and givin out some appointments, the
preecher sed the mornin oiferin wud
now be reserved, Then 3or4 fellers
started around with things that looked
like fryin pans (but they wussent and
the people. sum ov em not all, put lit
tie envelopes in the frian pans. don't
no what wuz in EN- but supposed it wuz
letters tu the Lord an that itwuz nue.
wa tha hav Of prayin now days, Any
wa tha didn't use tu do that wa in In
jeanny. Wal about that time a. feller
that wuz shoan people whar tu set down
at seeted 4 ladies iis in front OF Mrs.
Ben an |, An then the preecher an
nounced his text But / cuddent see
him fur thar wuz a Questionable hat in
front Of me. turned mi he'd to look
across the house but cudent see fur
Mrs. Bens hat. turned still further
tu get glimpse of the door an thar was
hat behind me. Thar | wuz COM
pletely boxed in by 3 hats an the wall,
Wal never did keer much about speek.
in unless l cud see the speakers eye, so
there bein no won that cud see me but
Mrs. Ben an the woman behind me, an
| didn't noe her, an the woman in front
dassent look back it would be breech
of gud manners, | spent a very com
Portable half hour snoozin, Mrs, Ben
wud nudge me if | got to breethin to
loud. liked the arrangement purity
well in sum respects, 1t gives an old
sinner chance tu attend church and
yet eskape the cuttin edge of the gos-
pei. The wust hated about the whole
bizness wuz no one cud see mi nue. suite,
an doant think Mrs, Ben liked it much
mother as she tu wuz so hemmed in with
hats that no one cud see hern, But taxi
en- it all in all think will be reglar
attendent to preechin, any wa as long as
mi suite looks nue.. YoAR UNCLE BEN