Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-08-03
THE SODA FOUNTAIN CLERK.

Consider now the meek and humble soda fountain
clerk,
Who draweth of the moistened air with nimble
turn and jerk.
His garb is always spotles white when first he
puts it on
But To- before hour hath passed its spotlessness
hath gone,
For then he hath vanilla on the bosom OF his
vest,
And streaks of red raspberry make his trousers
seem a Jest,
While chocolate and ginger give tigerike effect
10 the balance of the garments in which he's
proudly decked
Bis hair is limp and languid and is parted square
and true
Above the very center OF his nose, which turneth
blue
Because he hath to lingcr in the acid and the ice
70 fix up funny mixtures for the one that hath
the price.
He maketh strange concoctions in the line of
fancy drinks,
And all the while he watcheth for persuasive sorts
Of winks.
from early morn he twistcth at the soda water
L spout
And turneth the ice crusher till the ice hath given
out. ~
He diggeth in the ice cream, and he rusheth with
the glass,
While his deadly hated rival buys the soda for the
lass.
Yea, verify, the soda clerk he hath a sorry time,
For he must know the way to get nine cents out
Of each dime, -
And he must be hustler that there will not be
OF ice or gas or water, or he'll tremble at the
boss.
How often, oh, how often, hath the soda ierker
grinned
At the who payeth nickels for pennys worth
OF wind!
Ho, ftap oh hnyuo oft of pn1n, nd
Go fitting o'er his visage when drink goes out
of style!
But. ah, alas. my son. sometimes he feeleth very
bad,
And then ia when the ladies come with garments
rich and glad!
The ladies fill the rockers, and the doorways, and
the stools
And insist upon liquid that both elevates and
cools,
And one declareth that she'd like some chocolate
with cream,
And when he draweth It straightway "oh, moi"
the maid doth scream,
And then she voweth that she hath already chang
ed her mind
And wanted Just a phosphate with piece OF
lemon rind
And yet again the other maids declare they do
not know
Just what they wish, and on and on their mild
objections flow.
The weary soda fountain clerk suggesteth this and
that,
From plain old lemon phosphate to dose Of
antifat,
And finally the ladies fair with one consent con-
clude
That chocolate and cream shall be their soda foun-
tain food
Now, when he draweth all the drinks his troubles
are not done;
Nay verify. my trusting child. they are but half
begun.
For each and every maiden there doth straightway
rise and say,
"Now girls, I'll think it's awful II you do not let
me pay!"
And all protest. and all object and all their plans
defend,
And not a one takes out her purse her lovely cash
to spend. ... .Y.
Now, finally the soda clerk suggesteth that each
maid
Shall pay for what she drank, and then beginneth
the TRADE,
For all TIE ladies vow In wrath-yea. yea, they
almost sob
That they will his employer see and take from
him his job,
And then they take their parasols and sternly 60
away,
And not cent of all that bill do they take steps
to pay
The gentle soda fountain clerk he falleth in daze
And leaneth on the vchy tube. and wicked things
he says
Is this not true, Just as we have composed It.
with much work2
1t surely Is, and II you doubt go ask the soda
clerk.
Baltimore American.