Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1901-09-07
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Life.
Trolley Car Conductor-Say M
ell is no good. Mr.. EndSeat-Wd
mind; give it to the company-S
lyn Eagle.
There is one way that King n
can keep his chaplains busy
way?' Praying for a long "a,
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss Pcrte-I wouldn't marry
unless 1 could look up to him 81
Oldgyrle-Oh. we'll, Mile, YOUR,
yet.-Summeryille Journal.
Jackson-1 hear your baby va,
naped. Currie-Yes. The kid,l
have offered us $1,000 if we win
him back, but we are holding a
more.-Life.
Professionalism this road hg
out into the country, little boy?
Boy don't think it will; but ify
mebby Il waggun IL cum along
State Journal.
She-You don't think a girl
to marry q man in order to reform
He-Well, l think she is apt to B
the luck of the average reform
Brooklyn Life.
City Boarder-Tell me, did YOU
buy a gold brick, Uncle Josh? d
Geehaw (of Hay Corners, disgusa
Nav. But l hev bought lots of III
l thought was gold.-Brooklyn Fad
Yes, Mrs. Bouncer wanted to
her daughter to Bryn Mawr, but sa|
cided on Vassar." "What infua
her decision "She couldn't prOna
Bryn Mawr. "-Philadelphia Bullet
Parson Jackson--In de mathh
Watahmelons, s'pose you vi
stolen fruits am always sweetest?
Johnson dunno. l amt nebalI
any but de one kind.-Philadet
Press.
McCourt-You know something ali
horse racing. What is meant by =
favorite? Sport-A faVorite is a b
that would surely win if people Q
wouldn't bet on him.-PhladeIg
Record.
Teacher-What is an island? Bn
Boy (Who had been reading the ne
papers since Dewey sailed into MAJ
Bay)-An island is a body Of land
tircly surrounded by the United Sta
New York Times.
Miss Slappem-That Clara Wilde
as good as a circus! Think Of her
ing engaged three times this sunni
Mr.. Goodheart (extenuatingly)-E
she wouldn't be an up-to-date Gi
without three rings!-Judge.
Mr.. Frontpew-I am glad You BID
to our church choir, my dear; 1t ISIS
an orderly organization; I never see
whispering to one another during
vices. Mrs. FrontpeW-No, none
are on speaking terms.-OhiO S
Journal.
Mr.. Pitt-These quarrelS about
battle Of Santiago make me exceSsr
weary. Mr.. Penn-Me, too, Phi
soon Spain will get it into her headt
she wasn't licked at all, and then
will demand reposseSsion of Cub
Philadelphia Press.
She petulantly)-I don't see Why
should hesitate to set married on 4
year. Papa says my gowns be
cost more than that. He-But, myt
ling, we must have something too
ooh, William. Always thinking
your stomach!"-Tit-Bits.
The time for reflection: "BiddE'l
began, timidly, did ye iyer think
marrying" "sure, now, tn subject
niver inferred me thoughts" dcmu4
replied Biddy. ITS sorry Oh an y
Pat, turning away. EVAN minute "a
called Biddy, softly, "ye'Ye set nsI
thinkin'." Bazaar.
Economy in the East: Briggs l1
be getting queer in his top Sa]
What's the proof?" HE had bis u
head out of his office window at "
yesterday, and when l asked him VI
he was doing, he said he couldntap'
regular hair cut and was U!l'
straightforward Plain Dealer
Stranger-Didn't l understand YOU
say you'd just come from the pun
exhibition? How did you Ike
Chance experimentation ~
poor little paltry two-penny-haIl,Ft'l
affair. Don't begin to compare WIZ
Stranger-Indeed. By the way, II
are things in Chicago now?-PueA
Transparent excuses: Now
tell me any story about misfoI'O,S
wantin' to be hard WORKER
that" said the hard-faced lau ~.
can see right through you. III
said Dismal Dawson; Il Know
had nothin' to eat for three days
didn't know it had thinned ms
like that.-Leslie's Weekly
Circumstantial evidence:
Where's my umbrella? I'm sur
- =: ~ In 4o,o,1 x.y;4b tho OtleIs