Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-09
IRISH WIZ AND HUMoR
EMERALD ISLE STILL PRESERVES
IT'S NATURAL REPUTATION.
Letters of Recon- m endatiOn q Source
of JOkes-A Bishop Who Was
Unintentionallyn l-Treated.
From the London Spectator.

Ireland to a great extent still preserves
its national reputation for wit and humor.
70 utter clever and amusing things with
out generalization is more or less common
to 1rishmen of all ranks and classes. The
late Father Healy was an admirable rep
resentative of Ireland in this respect. His
wit was full and overlooking, nothing
labored or strained about it; the most ap-
parently barren topic furnished him with
a peg for joke. 1t never occurred to you
when you heard it or read it-why did /
not see this before? No, the conviction was
this is purely original and could only come
from himself. Many of his witucisms are
preserved In his life, and are consequently
WITHIN reach, so that they are not to be
drawn upon, being already public property.
swift was great Irishman, a great church.
man and great wit; and certain per-
centase of Irish clergy, Anglican and Ro-
man, are fond of jokes and amusing stories.
~ ey see good many sides of the national
ne and consequently see and hear much
that Is amusing. The Irish bar was a CEN
fury ago celebrated for its wit, and the
Jokes OF such men Norbury, Plunket and
Surran sui go round, in books at least.
whether the bar still retains it's reputation
IN TINS respect is not clear; it is to be feared
~ uoeS not, except perhaps in the case of
!Lord MOTHS. But our business is not to be
out rather descriptive and discursve; to
present some few specimens Of unpre-
1nedltated Irish humor such as any one may
pick up without going afar afield for them.
There Is an Irish clergyman of our ac-
qua1ntance who has deservedly a consider
aple local reputation as wit and story
teilef He sees everything from the humor-
Gus side! His appearance, his voice and
MS laugh. The present writer heard him
speak lately of his sexton. who appears to
be an original. A lady, a stranger to the
place, asked him If there We're daily mathis
IN the church NO, madame" he replied.
we can't afford that, but we put down
cocoanut every Sunday This official is
close at hand at all baptisms and mar
rlages, and instinctively answers all The
questions asked to sponsors and couples
Delng married, so that the rector says he
is godfather of innumerable children, and
mas married himself to a considerable num-
Der of brides, for when the question is put,
W1lt thou have this woman to thy welded
Wife," he always audibly answers, Il will
IT may be truly said this is very Irish.'
for SO it is. Indeed, We have been told of a
case IN which young lady about to lie
married in the church which this sexton
serves made 1t proviso that he should be
charged to keep his distance during the
ceremony. Some time ago, when the three
X S were by no means familiar as they
are now, there was a certain Irish clergy
man in charge of a sinecure parish, from
which he regularly absented himself from
Monday morning until Saturday night, to
be the guest of a nobleman in the neighbour
hood whose table he enlivened with his
jokes.
He was asked by his bishop at the vista
ton if he had Sunday school in his par
ish. No, my lord" why not? Have you
no young people?' lone boy, my lord"
why not have class for him?" ..Ah,
am / expected to act as private tutor?'
The bishops rejoinder is not recorded. This
clergyman, who was certainly a very easy
going sort of man, used to give a written
character to every one who asked him. 1t
ran thus: Timothy So-and-so says he is
a very good lad" as the person who re-
ceived it could not read. he did not dis
cover his mistake until it was too late.
This Is an old but true story. In Ireland
there is a regular hunger for letters OF
recommendation. A woman once came to
the writer of this article for testimonial
as to her sons character. But 1 know
nothing Of the boy at ALL. well. now,
thin isn't that quare! Shure he wanst de-
iivered load of straw TO your riverince''
One might on the strength of this have
certified that one knew him to be man
of straw, but the present writer resisted the
temptation. Two farmers wives called to
request a letter to the local resident mag
istrate requiring him to decide a case about
water course in favor of one OF them.
This was declined on the ground of tgnor-
ance Of the merits or dement's of the ap-
plicant's case. She looked greatly disgust
ed, and turned to her friend saying, And
didn't We tell me that this gentlemans son
used to go out fowling with his worship"
What, of course, was the good of having
such intimacy If it could not be used for
a friend?
The Irish peasantry have great faith in
clerical influence, whether of the priest or
parson they express it. A few years
ago an elderly gentleman officially connect
ed with race meetings was staying at the
principal hotel in southern Irish city.
During the first night of his visit number
nj
poured water on him, carried him about,
called on him for a speech song, etc. The
next morning this sufferer, fearing a repe-
tition OF the amusement, had his room
changed without the change being noted in
the hotel books. On the following night his
tormentors repeated the experiment, though
the bird had flown and his place been oc-
cupied by an Irish bishop. They entered
the room again, one being armed with
poker and fire shovel with which he dis
coursed what was not most eloquent music.
Another bore a fender, which he placed
over the bishop as he lay in bed-but
enough; we spare the details. Universal
horror filled the hotel on the following
morning when the facts became known
The original victim has never since dark
ened the door of the house in question, nor
we should say has the bishop either Irish
people are in the habit of saying, "If we
are poor we are pleasant This witness
is true A bishop is about the very last
person in the world who would knowingly
Ireland, but the above piece Of horseplay
having occurred unintentionally, the very
fact that bishop was made the subject of
it added TO it's absurdity and incongruity.
OF course everybody was very sorry and
dreadfully shocked, but at the same time
Immensely amused. There Is class of per-
sons now fast fading in Ireland, and "the
more's the pity" viz, the professional men,
dicant, who made an annual tour Of con-
siderable part of some one province. Such
a person had quite an established connec-
ton, and went about collecting a sort of
rent. He gave good value. it must be con-
fessed, for what he got. He knew all the
clergy, gentry and farmers in his own ex-
tensive beat, and gave news and witty re-
marks in exchange for his allowance. He
had a wonderful knack Of hitting off places
and people in a few concise and compact
sentences Thus he described the town
where we live as wan Of the natest towns
In the ring Of ireland, for If We made a
slip in the street of 1t. be the help Of God
We were always sure to fall into a public
house" Could there be more ironical de-
scription of the excessive number of licensed
LIQUOR shops than this? A welI-grown,
good-sized youngster he described as "the
full-of-the door of a man." an untrustwor-
thy person as ivan yescouldn't believe day.
light itself out off, a. miser as ivan who
wouldn't give God, Almighty tuppence to