Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1901-03-07

/ B,Ia ~ l,J.I
The Dyspeptic was bored Business
was dull in the Office, so he turned for
a little conversation with his stenogra-
pher.
"Hum-mw he remarked.
The stenographer jumped nearly a
foot from her seat. She was timid
little thing and cherished a reasonable
fear Of her employer.
s'SirY' she queried meekly.
The Dyspeptic lit his pipe, leaned
back in his chair and looked her over.
She wore frivolous silk waist, with
fussy jabot, crinkled satin belt and
disapprovingly.
The stenographer in her excitement
struck two notes at once and punched
hole through the type ribbon.
The Dyspeptic opened his mouth
once more. IF had my way" he
growled. women would all wear uni
FORMS"
wonder what he's eaten now?" was
the stenographer's thought. but out
loud she said. "Why, sir?''
"Why?. grunted the Dyspeptic. $50
they'd have time to improve their
minds. That's why. All the women
think of is dress. Makes any decent
man tired It's nothing hut new clothes
all the time, and the old ones half
worn out. Women drive their hus-
bands to ruin with their extravaganza
and frivolity Look at Yourself, for
instance
"But haven't any husband.'
''No, but you ought to have. Spend
ing all you earn in fripperies instead of
marrying some honest young fellow
and helping him."
Earn his living"
81 didn't mean thatr snapped the
Dyspeptic. You women never have
any mind except for lovey dovey stuff
and such slush Can't you see the
beauty Of my idea?''
The little stenographer drew long
breath and faced her employer. what
would you dress them in?" she in
quired.
"Gunny sacks or just plain gray
dresses like the Quakers-anything to
keep them from thinking of them
selves!'
The little stenographer surveyed his
rather portly form with rising indigna-
tion. Gray was not becoming TO her.
''How would you like to wear a suit Of
large plaids?" she remarked spitefully.
But the Dyspeptic was equal to the
occasion Il shouldn't care he return.
ed. calmly fixing her with;his eye. The
stenographer remembered with chill
that the day for raising salaries was
not far off.
Don't you think II would take away
girls individuality to dress them all
alike?" she asked. with the laudable de
sire of bringing the conversation into
safe channels.
"Hum-m. no! Men don't care what
woman wears It's n girls walk. the
sparkle Of her eye the way she
laughs"
81 didn't think you noticed those
things" the stpnographer ventilred de-
murely
The Dyspeptic attentively considered
crack In the ceiling
81 think II would he good idea to
dress women according to their differ
ent professions" suggested the stenog-
rapher. who was beginning to enjoy
herself
"How's thaty' he inquired suspicious
ly. You wouldn't have a ballet girl
walking around in her stage dress.
presumeg'
"They could have two costumes. a
business dress and an evening cos
tune" she went on. calmly Ignoring
bis remark THE evening dress could
be as the fashion dictated but the
day dress should Indicate the business
and rank of the wparer Why. there
are women who wear uniforms now
and who look all the more attractive
for it. Look 81. the hospital nurses. for
instance. uniform improves the
looks Of man II might # well cho-
sen do the same for woman :"
"How would you do it,
"Well womrE Of leisure would sim
ply wear plain black costumes Teach.
would appear in the cap and gown
Of academic purple, and there would
be some little popularity to distin-
guish the grades. For instance, the
| principal Of a school would have a gold
tassel in her cap. Stenographers,
clerks and secretaries would wear ca
det blue and white, with pearl gray
hats ornamented with a black band, on
which their rank would appear in gold
letters. Women lawyers would have
dark green costumes to match their
bags; they would wear black cioaks,
and their belts and buttons would be
of silver. Women doctors would dress
in navy blue. Journalists would wear
combination of gray and red; they
| would wear black fedoras, and on the
wide lapels of their coats the name of
| their paper might be embroidered In
letters of gold. Editors would wear
| narrow red band around their hats
and managing editors a gold one. AS
for artists. they would dress in those
warm russets so dear to their hearts
They would sport the blouse and the
| Tam O'Shanter. while the desired
spots of color could be obtained by
their flowing neckties and bright stock
ings."
The Dyspeptic closed his eyes with a
look of supreme disgust. "Jgh." he
grunted. "the woman's view Of 1t!
Frivolous. Of courser'
MAUD ROBINSON.
why She wept.