Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-05-24

or it last week.
ut will do very we'll" said the gen
leman, Selling hold OF me.
lie promised to bring or send me
,ac knext day, but week passed. ana
very evening found him strutting along
he pier, with me In his right hand.
Late one afternoon, however, when ne
was in his workshop, making another
pipe. the student came to the door and
,aid that he wanted his umbrella. Then
he gentleman received him Hospitality
but declared he had taken back both
umbrellas three days before. So SOL
.mnly did he insist on this that the
,ther knew not what to say, and went
,ff In daZe.
The next man l knew was introduced
% me, so to speak, by his wife. My
,wner had taken me to dinner party,
md I was in the umbrella stand when
:wo of the company left. They were
he first to go, and saw at once that
,hey were husband and wife. The gen.
.leman was taking his own umbrella
rom the stand flor he was weak-mind-
ed when the lady handed me to him
saying. this is much better one'
Thus it was that l again changed own
srs.
From this house I was taken by the
first gentleman who called, but he lost
ne on the way. We went by rail, and
another gentleman in a carriage left'
.aking me with him. He was the gen.
tleman who had me in his hand when
he walked home from soirees with
young ladies. Three Of them he told
[but all at different times) that he loved
hem pasionately, but could not afford
% marry; and they all promised to be
sisters to him, which pleased him vastly
more. I think, than IL they had prom
J sed to marry him.
He left me at the outside Of his door
, )ne day because | was very wet, and
| here | was found by policeman, who
.ook me in charge and ran me into the
police station. This magistrate picked
me out as the best of six, and took
he home, where lay for week
when | was distracted from the stant
by the town councillor. He took me tt
meeting of his friends. where there
! was talk of presenting something to al
irish statesman, and at first ! though
hey were to present me to him, but ]
y turned out to be something else. Thu
? own councillor heard boasting that h
never carried any but the best umbrel
g las. and he also boosted that he hal
y not bought an umbrella since he was i
i years Of age.
e A councillor took me away from tn
n council chamber, and had rim or sill
:. YER put around me, with his name an,
ha
d 10 not take some precaution you ar
e sure to lose your umbrella, the publ
e are so careless or so dishonest" In hi
it possession remained for nearly
l. month, but one day he took me to
e club, and had not been in the umbrel
II Ia stand for more than five minute
Il when an advocate came out, and selec,
Is ing me with care, walked away wit
e me. He took the silver rim off with h
5, pocket knife, and, then carried me to
! shop, where he instructed the shopma
le 10 put band round me saying that
lie was presented to John Smith, ESQ.,, b
N his affectionate son-in-law. June 2
re 1899. My new owner was the man WI
abused me because once I was open
he was reluctant to shut, for now l had b.
p come somewhat stiif. Once he was
u such a rage at me that he hit me sa'
nj agely against the hatstand, and TIL
was how my first rib was broken.
OF l was saved from this man by 8
ne elderly lady, who took me away b
m meath her waterproof, thinking shou
, do for an office umbrella for her so
! When they discovered, however. tn
ny the rib was in two, and that W
he spotted with holes, they ragged togeth
ed at the old gentleman for owning SUI
ng an umbrella. | was kept at the offit
ce until one of the clerks fell owner to r
st and broke two more ribs. My own
. ] now declared that had been an adm
nd able new umbrella when he bought I
Use the week before, and the unhap
ne young man had to give him anoth
whereupon he got me as gift. l W
tc sorry for him, for he told his mas
at that the new umbrella had cost him
shillings, but soon | discovered that
H. had picked it out of the stand al
by doctors house. He tried to mend
nd with bootlace, but my appearance "
he now hopelessly plebeian, and ! hes
M him tell his sister, who lived with hi
that he was ashamed to be seen in
tc street with me. One day our d.
as. stood wide open. and so did the d.
MS that was only separated from ours
an iron railing; so she took me II
dy the next house and left me in the u
hid brella stand there, taking away n
umbrella in exchange. 1t is in t
uld house | am lying now. They offe
MOI me to the milkman and the postm
tc but neither would have me; so '
lad carried contemptuously into the Gle
Jaw where l now lie.
her -------