The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-09-29
THE OBSERvANT BANKER
HE Is CAUGHT BY A VIsIrop
REMINISCENT MOOD.
Several Kinds of Customers WIZ
the Targets for His Shafts
of Sarcasm

mere arc many peculiar kinds Of bank
patrons said the Observant Banker. as
the reporter approached. The financier
oid not seem To be addressing anybody
il particular but rather to be musine
-i'eI SiI'iiS III apparently complete ab
straction for several minutes no bo,,a,,
talking To himself once more E,.;doe.,l'
hosts OF his customers were passino =,
mental review, and he WAS ei,.ir,, -
descriptions of their chief peculiarities. IIo
said: ii0
There's the customer that bu,s ~.
York exchange and wants payment etonro.,
and has YOU go to protest every month o.
So The customer that wants Won IN uira
a bank IN Alaska that we do not know,
To 20 ON an attachment bond for him we
10 hold the Alaska creditors harmless. Tho
customer whose son is in Jail i'm New,
orleans and who wants us 10 have him
baiied out by our New Orleans corresnond-
cnt.
Then there's tho customer YOU bav,.
known for years, but who is very light.
now who wishes TO pledge the family low
els too proud 20 go to a pawnbrokor
ou feel for him, forsake your general ruic
loan him some money. and eventually his
Wife comes in and says the collateral he
longs to her
me customer who runs night school
and commercial college and who wants Won,
10 lecture on banking once week during
the term. The newspaper customer that
wants 10 know things you don't know your
81 ana mat wakes YOU up at midnight
10 ASK IT you think Congress did right on
some financial measure
ne customer that can't sec why Won
can make affidavit that an old citizen
pt,T,-
about forty years old yourself The old
laoy customer with a tender wart on her
nose ana mat always wants to borrow
y our glasses To write her name on a check
me country customer who says he knew
you When YOU were "a boy and who wants
20 sen YOU some fresh maple syrup that
mother made GTOm hickory bark and New
orleans sugar. The darby customer who
claims to have carried the hod to put up
your bank building sixty years agO and
that always expects a Christmas present
mere the customer too" continued
TIE 0bSerVant banker. in his PARKWAY tone
OF voice. that tells his friends when they
ask hsm To indOrse for them that you
forbid him doing so, and then they come
and see you about il. The customer who is
informed when he asks a loan that you
would like To accommodate him. but the
president of the bank objects, and then
replies that is quite strange as the presi-
dent told him yesterday that he would like
10 make the loan, but you were strongly
against it.
OVERDRAWING CUSTOMER.
q
accounts and never knows it. and the one
who does and swears there is a forged
check somewhere. The customer who telc-
phones from the station house at O'Clock
a m. for you 10 come and bail him out.
as he has been a good customer for seven
years; the customer who leaves a colIec-
ton on q personal friend and wants you
TO be sure To tell him the bank owns the
paper and 1t must be paid or suit will be
brought.
The customer who has a secret tip lin
the shape Of dredm) that certain stocks
Will soon advance and would like TO buy
large block. you holding the stock col
lateral for his note, which Is not good, and
who feels iTritated when you refuse. The
customer who wants YOU to be a director
IN ms gold mine, giving you $4,000 worth
of stock free for doing.
Then there Is the customer who wants
YOU To be stakeholder or director in his
company. declaring that when stock Is
paid in there will be 900 TO deposit i'm
some bank, and he is afraid if you do not
20 INTO the company the other fellows II
control viii take the account to some other
bank. The customer who informs me that
i am buying goods from "A nOnumon Gus
toner. a competitor of his, and he is very
sorry, but he feels that in justice to him
self and tho country at large he viii be
compelled to remove his account TO another
bank If do not stop patrOnizing the other
The customer who removed his account
because / would not take a drink with him
II did not feel like it at the time), and the
cause : asked him TO have a drink with
me and reported to- my personal friends
that i had gone wrong
The political customer who gets a nOmi-
nation for some office. who has dead
sure thing offers his note to pay political
assessment. with Endorsement by all the
other candidates running, gets beaten and
does not pay. or else wins the Office and
takes his account To another bank. The
customer who. after years of struggle, gets
enough ahead 10 give a party, and who,
because his daughter invites your daugh-
a. Trff Il not (
Ilp and removes his bank account
Here the ObserVant Banker paused, and,
after sitting in a brown study for time,
turned To the pile of documents on his
desk and began To work feverishly. His
visitor left reluctantly.