Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-06-20
THE NATIONS IN THE FLATS.
Some OF the Peculiar Lines Taey
Take i'm CausinS
10 the Owners.

"
The first question put by the rent
ing agent was: What nationality.
~please?" and the woman in the blue
waist replied by asking: why do
you want to known"
I meant no offense,' said the
agent. 4 only thought that by find
ing out your nationality l could re-
fer you at once to certain buildings
on my list which would be apt to
please YOU" The woman in the blue
waist had half a notion to get angry,
says the New York Sun.
4 don't see what my nationality
has to do with finding a suitable fat"
she said.
1T has a good deal TO do with it,"
said the agent. snow, I can see
straight off hat you are an Ameri-
an, born and bred. This is a deli
me into, but since I am in it 1 mean
to founder around a little while
longer and tell you a few facts per-
tanning to the merits and dement's
of different nationalities, considered
in the light of fiat-house tenants.
First of all, 1 want to speak from
the standpoint of prompt payment.
If my success in business depended
upon each tenant paying his rent ex-
actly when it was due l would try
to fill all my houses with Scotchmen.
Never have l lost a penny on a Scot,
and seldom have / had to wait.
Il am not making the rash asser-
ton that it is impossible for a
Scotchman to be dishonest while ev-
erybody else is trying his best to
cheat me OF of my very eye
teeth. The point I wish to make is
that personally / have never suffered
loss at the hands of a Scot. But they
give trouble in other ways. They
are fearfully quarrelsome and raise
so many rows with the other ten
ants through the dumbwaiter shaft
that it keeps the ~ianitor busy
Strengthening out domestic snarls.
In all my buildings where Scotchmen
reside l select a j~anitor with a view
to his even disposition and diplo-
matte gifts. 1t doesn't matter so
much about his ability for scrubbing
and keeping the furnace going. Utili-
tartan accomplishments are a Sec
ondary consideration so long as he is
endowed with the blessed qualities
of a peacemaker.
Taken all in all, the most peace
able people l get in my houses hail
from Sweden. You never hear a peep
out of a Swede. He doesn't bother
his neighbors and he doesn't bother
me, unless the pro~vocation is ex-
treme. As a rule he is good pay, too.
The only fault / have to find with
him is his fondness for moving. A
lease is a dead letter in his We, and
he has NJ more conjunction about
moving without a days aotice than
he has about going to bed when he
is sleepy"
The woman in the blue waist asked
what were the chief characteristics
of Americans as tenants.
"Their supreme selfishness," said
the agent. "They have not a spark
of consideration for a landlord. They
want the earth. They never get
through asking for improvements.
walls tinted and the woodwork paint
cd and the plumbing fixed once or
twice a year. They want new decora-
tions every month, and all the trim
mings must be first-class, too. Amer
lean tenants nay big prices for their
flats, but there really isn't so much
profit in catering to them as to other
nationalities, for the simple reason
that l have to pay out nearly all my
income in trying to keep up the build
ing in the style they demand. On the
other hand, the people who ask for
the least are the italians and the
French. They take most any old thing
I feel like giving them, the French
meekly providing their own decora-
tons and the Italians going without.
81 like German tenants pretty well,
too, but they are terribly hard on
flats. / never could understand how
they manage to infiict SO much dam
age on walls and floors. Judging by
the looks of an apartment just va
Gated by a large German family, ne
would think that their star piece of
furniture was a battering ram. The
cars former subjects also have an
abnormally developed bump of de-
structiveness, although they run to
glass instead of plastering. l have
one house downtown that is occupied
by ten Russian families, and if they
were not compelled to repair their
own damages it would keep me poor
putting in new windows and buying
new gas globes.
81 also rem to colored people. I
have three houses full of them at
present, and I must say that I have
never had better tenants. But when
you come down to facts, all my ten
ants are nice people, only I thought
it might not be amiss, while on the
subject of nationality, to mention a
few of the peculiarities of EACH"
That LOng-FeIt Want.
The long-suffering man was trying
to read, when, with a crash and a roar
the train left the rails. Down, down,
down it went. The seat on which the
long-suffering man sat shut up lik a
iackknife, and caught him in it's tena-
cious embrace.
The seat opposite rose up and smote
him in the side. The steam pipes hiss
ed and coiled themselves upon his
breast. Then all was silent.