The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-11-21

the halls. I've got to be consistent
about things, you know. l shall take
my vacation in IN armchair in the
basement, and | shall take due care
that none of the tenants forget what
a fragile physique I've got. You know
what physique is, don't you, Mr.. Was
serInan?"
He vhas something's to do NIT slump
ing around, MAYBE"
Yes, that's it, and l don't propose to
jump. In the first place, a janitor
should move with dignity when he
moves at all, and in the next it's be-
meath his position to wrangle about
goats, dogs and children in the halls.
1t also gives chic to a fat to have a
janitor who doesn't sweat his collar on
a hot day. l think | know my gait.
Mr.. Wasserman-I think l do"
"Und how vhas all dose bad peo-
ples?" asked the grocer after an adj
miring glance.
"Just the same-no better. no worse.
They are still trying to Guido each 9TH
er. and that keeps things lively around
the house."
"Und does some one pull hair?"
mo, there hasn't been anything of
that sort for the last month. When
women quarrel, they try to find ways
to hurt each others feelings, you know.
Up to three nights ago the BARRIERS
wife and the Countess Divito had Mrs.
O'Sulliyan crushed to earth, but then
she took a rally and is now at the head
Of the procession again. l gave her the
hint myself, and she ought TO be very
grateful to me-"
"Und how vhas it,"
"Why, she gave a watermelon party.
The barber's wife gave what they call
an ice cream fling. and the Countess
Divito followed with a banana festival.
Both were successes, and Mrs. O'Sulll-
van was feeling cast down when l
gave her q hint. Let me tell you. Mr..
Wasserman, that q watermelon party
is considered the swaggerest thing on
the boards for the summer. It's the
real chic. You've got to get at least
six waternlclons and pour a bottle of
claret into each and have the fruit fro
zen. Then you eat 1t with a silver
spoon AID wipe off your chin with a
Mrs. O'Sulliyan all the necessary point
ers. and the affair was a tremendous
success"
"Und she had six watermelonsY" alb
sently queried the grocer.
"Six big w~atermelons. Mr.. Wasser-
man, and each primed with a pint OF
claret and kept in an icebox for three
days. There were 40 bon ton people at
the feast, the very cream of society.
Not a hint had reached the BARRIERS
wife or the countess. and when the
swagger began to swagger in there
was CONSERVATION in McMurphy's fats.
1t was a cold cut on the two women.
stand up. Yes, 40 swagger guests. and
some of the women had on shirt waists
which cost at least So apiece. myself
counted nine different pairs of tan
shoes in that gathering, and all but
three or -four of the gentlemen had col
lars on. An accordion furnished de-
lightful strains, and all the gas globes
were covered with red paper"
"Und it vhas some success?
ut was, in two ways. In the first
place, the gathering was all that could
be hoped for, and in the next not a per-
son gave himself away. You see, every
one Of those melons was as green as
grass, and the claret soured them till
they were like pickles. Mrs. O'Sulli-
van went whittier than chalk when the
first melon was cut and was found to
be as hard as a rock and as tasteless
as an old shoe, but the guests came to
her rescue In a way to melt your heart.
Swagger Is as swagger does, Mr.. Was
serman."
"But vhas some green watermelons
swagger, Mr.. S~procket?" asked the
grocer.
mot exactly, but what did those
swagger people do when they found
them green? Just turned right In and
devoured the whole six to saw the
feelings of the hostess. Yes, sir, the
melons were cut up and passed around,
and everybody ate and smacked his
lips and Snid he had never tasted any
thing SO good. 1t took them an hour to
down those melons, but they left moth.
Ing but the rinds. If they had beer