The Iola register., 1901-02-22

shipped from there.
The Oskaloosa Independent believes
that were it as easy to get officers to
join the smelling committee" as it is
to get them on the tasting committee"
the joints wouldn't last long.
Ottawa's best hotel, which would
grace a town of 200 people, burned
and while the metal is hot the papers
are pounding vigorously for new
hostelry worthy town of 5000.
The war department, figuring up the
available militia. credits Kansas with
a fighting force of 100000 men. Back
of this is the Carrie Hatcheteers, first
reserve that should not be overlooked.
How the angels must weep and the
devil must grin as he sees humanity
exposing itself rashly to storm and ice
with prospect of grip and death
simply to escape the innocent small
pox.
Small boys at Madison hardened
their understanding during the recent
snow by coasting over snow obstruc-
tion that tossed their sleds for "a feet.
1t is such practices that make Jealous
youths"
Two Girard men have been arrested
for stealing a womans 5 trunk from the
depot. After worrying over the puzzle
of what all the contents were they
probably welcomed the jail as a haven
of repose.
Two advertisements in a western
Kansas paper CHANGED to fall side by
side and read as follows: BEST meal
in town for IL cents" "Fifteen cents
a dozen paid for eggs" Or, square
for II ovals.
Hutchinson News: A new sect has
come to the front of the stage with u
theory that in the next world the
human bodywill be spherical i'm shape.
In other words everybody will be a
"rounder" bye and bye.
Despite its name the Carom Club of
ElDorado isn't sworn against
cushions, provided they are the sofa
cushion variety the lamp is properly
doused and but one exception removes
the rest of humanity from the room.
The reason 200 Wichita people quit
work and helped stranger catch his
parrot which had escaped into a tree
was for fear the Internal bird would
knock around town and find that all
the saloons were not closed and might
talk.
Much has been said ofthe toughness
of the pioneers who hewed Kansas in
to gem, etc, from her pristine, etc
One of those old fellows out at Blue
Rapids struck his toe with an axe re-
Gently and the blade glanced off with
out making even nick.
Holton Tribune:
THE wind 1t blew.
The snow IL snew."
1t was stormy Sunday
The farmer out
On rural route.
Got nary letter Monday"
Fred Harvey, the man who estab-
lished good eating houses along the
Santa Fe, saved the travelling public
from hunger and profanity, went to
his reward at Leavenworth recently.
"Well done" applies in his case.
Arkansas City gossips were recently
triumphant, There is an old gossips'
saying that "where there is smoke
there is pretty likely to be fire." For
years they have suspected and talked of
a disreputable house in that town, and
sure enough it burned the other day.
Society item from the Emporia
Gazette A correspondent who signs
himself sc. r." wishes to know
whether he should take a hack to the
dance. That depends. If he calls at
the front door the hack is necessary;
if at the back door, the walk is good.
The legislature:of Kansas is CORES
ponding with King Edward VII,
thing which never happened before
the Empire came upon us. A note
was received from the Kings secre-
tary saying the King was glad to
learn the legislature was sorry he is
now an orphan.
An Emporia barber while stropping
a razor and telling his customer "a
few thousand things, missed stroke
and cut two fingers nearly Off. But
no one expects this awful warning will
help the suffering public; had the man
bit his tongue off the loss would have
appealed to BARRIERS generally.
1t was the editor of the Howard
Courant who discovered that great
truth that the man in a small town
who thinks he is cute enough and can
stay up late enough to he wicked will
invariably discover that another man
has stayed up just as late and has
caught him.
The Eldorado Republican tells the
story Of short grass preacher who
had always a baby in the house. His
congregation knowing it called with a
load of provisions and some of the
men laughinglyi made bets as to
whether the reverend gentleman would
return thanks for the new baby or for
the food first. He stumped them all
by simply saying: Lord, we thank
thee for this timely succor.
Atchison Globe: They are telling a
tough story on Leavenworth society
women. 1t is said that a. girl living
in the country near that town went
there recently to purchase her bridal
clothes. She was entertained lavish
ly, and one evening at party for
women only, poker was introduced
The stakes reached large proportions,
and the visiting girl lost 1868, the last
1. /