The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-04-19

IQe0 unSledOlly. 11el 4OF1Oe became SuSe
picious, but she was game and said:
Read it out loud. Please dor And:
the host read:
''These bumps are most frequently
found on cats and monkeys"
Other topics consumed the remainder
Of the visit, which was brief.-New York
The laugh is on a well-known society
fellow. His candid opinion is that he
knows more than any other man in the
city. He was so WISE at a function
the other evening that everybody became
disguised.
4 young woman asked him a question
as she started to leave.
"Oh. l won't tell everything 1 know"
he responded, first assuming a superior
You have plenty of time" she re-
joined; we're not going for a whole
minute. '-Louisville Commercial.
The Louisville Commercial tells. how
an aspiring :litterateur came to grief:
Up on Third avenue lives a gentleman
who has a large library, in which he
quaintance to show them the large as
sortment Of fly leaves on which is in
scribed To My Dear Friend - -,
by the author Recently a young So
c:ety man happened to drop in and was
ushered up against the fly leaves a few
minutes later: After a while he grew
tired of reading these dedications. and
| while his hosts back was turned he
picked up n large volume and with a
fountain pen incribed on a blank fly leaf
the words, To My Dear Friend, -
-, by the author 1t was about the
| only book in the collection which the
young man found to be without a dedica-
ton. BY and by the young man casual
ly picked up this same book and quietly
remarked: 'Ah, Mr.. So-and-So, I see
you are rarely honored in this work.
Mighty few people have ever had the
signature of this author on a fly leaf
Why, I take pride in it, of course re-
marked the host. 4 have met every one
CT these authors personally The young
between his fingers till the title page
If the book was exposed. 1t was the
I.Ible."
"Pat,' said a manager to one of his
workmen, you must be an early riser. l
always find YOU at work the first thing in
the morning"
"Indade. and OF am. sor. It's a fam
lily trait, Dim thinking"
Then your father was an early riser,
too?"
"Me father, is it? He roises that early
that if he went to bed a little later he'd
meet himself getting up in the mornin'.'
-Tit-Bits.
Dorothy lives in Brooklyn. She is 6,
and she lives directly around the corner
toothsome comfts are sold by a friendly
woman. who is on excellent terms with
all the children in the vicinity. Dorothy
loves gum, and when for the fourth day
in succession she chewel actively on a
delectable, imperishable quid, her parents
made inquiries as to where she obtained
so much gum.
ooh. l just work the woman" respond
cd the precocious G-year-old, with COM
Dlacence.
Worked tie woman? Did they hear
Alright? Those parents looked dumbly at
e Wor11 etheG; ta WHAT Hor TfS the fni j;nv E lie
had certainly become polluted. 1t was
TIME to act, so they interviewed the
candy. woman, and forbade her to give
Dorothy my more gum unless it was
paid for. The candy woman protested.
She never gave away gum. More than
that, she explained that the gum she sold
was dealt from a slot machine by an au-
tomato figure of a woman, whose arms
worked whenever d penny dropped into
her Golfers. or course, Dorothy had
worked the woman" Those parents ex-
changed guilty glances and went home
Harper's Bazaar.
n,c ro mant IN 9; give Elsie an APP
Mammal suppose you'll want one
Iommy-"No. Just give one to Elsie.
were going to play Adam and Eve. and
Shes going to tempt me."-Philadelphia
Press.
I'M Mann a Hat to You're not 60
Brooke Lynn-"Yes. we're Obliged to-"
Mann Hatton-"Why, your wife told
mine YOU had the cutest little fat mag
inable."
Brooke LyLn-"I know: but some
friends gave me a rubber plant at Christ
mas and ITS grown so fast we've got to
move to give it more room.''-PhiladeI-
phia Press.
Darling" she sighed, chow l wish
you owned a yacht and would place it at
1.-The best | can Offer" he replied, sis
a little smack" and the sound that fol.
lowed was like the opening Of a bottle of
Observation-Disclosures World.
-:O:-
\ Southern darkey. wishing the inhab-
itants' of the village to know that he and
his venerable partner had decided to re-
tire from active life, astOnished them one
morning by placing the following sign
above the door of the establishment:
dis am to infohm de public dat me an
Ike am goin' out of bis'ness. Dem dat
owes de firm may settle with me: dem
dat de firm yves may settle with Ike
Life.
Bird Dealer-"What do you mean by
returning that parrot after keeping him
for four months? What's the matter
with him?"
Customer-W-w-well. the bb-b-blamed
bb-b-bird Observation-Disclosures.
II understand" said a Western iudee
70 one Of the talesmen from which a
panel of jurors were to be chosen to try
a murder case. that you have expressed
yourself as decidedly against capital pun.
ishment. Is this true?" ''Generally
speaking I'm agin capital punishment
but not in the case of this here man,
judge. l know him and he deserves ali
we can give him."
Patron-'That your boy? 20
Barber (proudlyr'Yes, sir"
Patron-''Favors you in some RESPECTS,
l think"
Barber-"Yos hos conoo+b;,n ,:4A,.