Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-09-21
u Tea-Tab!e Salad. -

| heD now rOCiU q man expect TO ne
reelected ?"-Indianapolis News.
Outside the Fence-Swipesey-
yOuse see de last baseball gamer Shorty
Yes, all but de last inning. Den's
when de limb broke. Ohio State Jour
nal
Miss Poplin-"How lucky of Maud
Pritzer to capture the only, man here.
At the end Of two days she was en-
caused the ay?'-Tit-Bits
DO you believe in reincarnation?' Il
| dc, indeed. Look at Giddings. In
! former sphere he acquired the habit of
not thinking. and now he is a leader
of the social set. "-Brooklyn Life.
William, here's a dollar for you. You
! know I'm running for office, don't you?''
Yes. sub" replied the old voter "but
hit'll take bout one dollar en- a quarter
! ter lect man lax you"'-Atlanta Con
| stitution.
She-"How beautifully Miss Heavy
! weight dances. She doesn't seem 10
/ touch the floor sometimes"
! He (wh0se feet were still suffering
! from the last polka with hert-"She
| doesn' I. London Punch.
| You have an immense amount of
| hay, observed the visitor at the Glover
! Meadow farm.
"Ya-as." said Farmer Redneck. "but
| there amt a dang thing { feed il TO bu:
| bicycles. -LeSleS Weekly.
See here exclaimed the boys mother.
as she elected him from the pantry, how
! many more times must / tell Won to keen
away from those jars of preserves?"
| HOW many more jars are there, ma -
inquired the oy.-Philadephia Record
You don't know much about scientific
fighting, do you?' said the bulldog. with
superior ali.
No" replied the porcupine. '.but il
| you'd care to mix up with me. | think
| could give you Il few points, Phila-
delphia Press
Sandy-'I told dat society lady / had
| lost me fortune in stocks, an yet her
| heart wasn't s9ftened."
Cinders-'Dat's where yer did wrong
1er should have said yer lost it at
| bridge whist am she would have set out
a banquet. philadelphia Record
Don't you know there are sermons in
stones and good in everything?"
Il dunno bout dere bein' sermons in
stones" answered sErastus Pinkley.
But if man is out o razor reach an
| kin thow straight, sometimes dar is a
heap o persuasion in EN-. Washington
| Star.
Mistress Margaret. told you /
conid not permit you to entertain mate
| there last evening" Maid-'I know X.
num- but that was Tim Murphy, a
tur'hle bashful Teller. Ye'd never injnce
him to step into the parlor. Boston
! Transcript.
! He Wanted to Know.-George-"P Papa
! how deep is the ocean, Papa--"Tery
| deep. dear. They have never been able
! TO fathom some parts of it," George
| (aftcr a moments hesitation)-"Papa,
would like to have been there when they
were digging il out. Philadelphia Even
ing Bulletin.
Some folks cit stuck mighty easy" re-
marked Farmer Clovertop looking up
from his copy of the Podunk County
/ Clarion. For all they think they're so
! ALFRED smart the city folks is havin
| artificial ice showed on EN-. Id like to
seen anybody fool me on ice."-Phiadel.
! pha Record
The iron had entered his soul
| Too bad" said his friends, deprecat-
ingly; but. then. he always had such q
way of getting things wrongm
1 They understood of course, how much
better gastric assimilation would have
/ been, for he really needed tonic--In-
| dianapolis News.
How did you happen to insure in tina;
! particular companyY Il consulted the
wishes of my Wife "Of course; that's
very praiseworthy. But-does she know
nies?' Yes She investigated, and
found that this one always issues the
| prettiest calendars. "-Tit-Bits
John" she said to the dying husband,
| you will soon be in the glories of the
| promised land. As soon as you get there
! want you to send me wOrd-some mes
! sage-some tokenr'
For heavens sake, Molie, was the re-
| ply, amt YOU never gon to give me
! holiday? "-Atlanta Constitution.
The Moth-"How's business?"
| Tho IuSt--.' m u-ppLyiDcr ovprfirna -
The Moth-'ln what particular lineY"
The Rust-"Just now I've got a big
! contract to cover a lot Of expensive steel
| plant machinery, and nj the same time
| I'm awfully busy eating holes in work
| ingmen's dinner pals. cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
This soda fountain is in such bad
| shape that il cannot be put in running
| order" said the expert workman to the
| druggist. Il was in hopes it might be
| tinkered up so that ! could use it this
season, anyway" said the druggist Il
| fear responded the expert. that that
is Il fizzical impossibility. Baltimore
| American.
A Grievous Offensc-Magistrat
| '''rhe charge is interfering with an Off
| Ger. Roundsman McCarty, you will
! please state exactly what the defendant
| did" Roundsman McCarty-"Oi wor
| passing his fruit Shtand, yer amer. an
| Oi Shwoiped a banana. when tn dago
| troid t tex it from me, yer amer. lies
| lies Weekly
Doctor-"Well. Johnnie. don't you feel
| better since | gave YOU the mcdicinc?"
Johnnie-"fes; | forgot all about being
| ill.,"
That's what / thought; and it wasn't
! hard to take. was it?''
We'll. it was rather. for it took two
J of us boys to hold Carlo while we gave
| it TO him. "-TitBits.
Hacks-"I understand you met my
brother down at the shore"
Whacks Yes. the red-headed one"
Hacks-"Oh. you're mistaken. The
only brother | have is quite bald now,
but"
Whacks-" Exactly. and he's been BATH
! ing every day without any hat."-Catho-
| lie Standard and Times.
Never Touched Him. They say she's
just crazy To marry him
she is. indeed She is continually
throwing herself at his head; and the
strangest part Of il is he never suspects
it,"
oh that's not so strange. Women