The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-12-10
FLIRTING OF THE BARBER;
Ry CHARLES HENsLEY.
tcopyrisht. 1901. by Daily Story Pub Col

tcopyright, 1901. by Daily Story Pub Col $ ss $ @ E S i, A shave En de barber. he des lafs, en when he done wuck up de iatner ,,,a en | My sez he, I bin tinhn' fom what yeres dat I boun' ter use my razor on | you fer sumpin else beside ter scrape yo agin you. kase I aint, but fer aller dat | fire en fury dat l yeres about you, nlI look like I bleeged ter do hit des tei take keer CT my own hide. Barber, people cS yeTef fer em esap ter yere a heap CT ting dat neber wuz spoke; 1 "I got nuthin' agin you. sez de bar Der, to be sho,' ef l wanted dat oman her eff I had ter skin you fus' to. git her. But I don wan her. l des don. got mo wives ri now den I got enny use fer. l got two CT 'em in dis we're town, en dey fixin' ter gi me trubbie | dat got mon one. l don want no mo CT de 'omans ri now. But l is got dis | much agin you sez he. dat you bin taIin' mighty o big g,en en do bin w6 del1e me So Barber, sez I. don you let dat razor slip; fer f'om what you tell me you IS got all de trubble you needs ri now wives on his hands den he got ,eny use fer. I wuz feelin' all ri, en l wuzen sceared CT him no mo.
 "'Das SO, sez he. das so. ef I had de ain't nuthin' I like better sez he. den des ter take you in hans en cook yo goose But at de time presen'.' sez he, 'dey is two lady a'ready quarlin over me, en my time, is all tuck up. All l got ter do. sez he, Is ter pull my foot outer dis were town, en I got ter do dat quick
 " Barber sez I. 'whar you gwine fom yere?'
 'I is gwine a long way sez he, I is
 Barber sez I. when you gwiner
 "I wuz studyin',' sez he. ter start termorrer evenin'.'
 Barber, sez l. you rtart dis evenin',. gi' you if dolah,' sez l, if good dollah ef you do
 "'An ri'.' sez he, do hit; I go dis vey evenin.
 But how does I know sez I. ef I pays you my good money, dat you keep yo wod en go?'
 You kin come down ter de railroad sez he. 'en put dat fl dollah inter part CT my ticket. en den, ef you likes, you kin see me off on de train
 'En so dat evenin' alter de ticket wuz bought I see him onter de cyars, en des es de cyars wuz pullin out he holler outer de -winder. you gi my love ter de misubble scound'el. I des suttinly will
 Dat same evenin' I knock at Man dys do. I got free, fo' piece CT dis we're pink stickin plaster stickin' ter my chin en acrosst my cheek.
 MY sez Mandy when she open de do ter let me in, what you bin doln wid yo' face; who bin meddlin' wid you?
 Dat some CT ye' barber's dons.'
 "En what you done wid dat barber? sez she. sWhat 6Onn wil dat har-
 Oman sez I. 'dey ain't no barber no mo, an wid dat she gun ter whim- per an ter cry.
 'Dey ain't no use CT cryin' fer dat barber sez I. you seen de las CT dat barber on topper CT dis yeth.'
 I don keer fer de barber. sez she; ter have de blood CT no man on yo' hans Oar, dat des hit, honey sez I, 'en dat des what save dat barber's life. De fus' time he git down on his knee second time he des beg an he pray, but shuck my head. But de las time l sez ter him. 'Barber,' sez I. 'ef l don't DO out yo' blood dis time. hit des kase CT a lady dat don like dis yere killin' en spiilins CT blood. Take yo' misubble life,' scz I. 'en tank de lady, fer hit
 "'Mv sez Mandy. I diden tink you suttinly Is ?. man..
 "'En now. oman, sez I, mighty sol emn, let dis be a warnln' ter you; you des take yo' cautions fom dis. en ef enny CT desc we're triiin' scound'els. ef dey wuz barbers or des what yey wuz, come foolin' roun' wid you. you les tun 'em loose en tell 'em ter go dey ways Elf dey don, I des DO out dey blood all over de yeth. Fer fom dis times on, f'om dis ve'y day, dey ain't no mo pity or mussy in dis bus m rERs." by Hattie Whitney.