Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-10-06


was.
Texas is a grand State, sir; magni-
ficent, sir, in every potion. But If you
really want to see the best there is. sir,
you just want to step over into Alfalfa
County. There amt no place in this
broad land, sir, that can size up with
old Alfalfa County; not in grass, sir,
nor in cattle, sir nor in men, sir. It's
downright remarkable what men we
raise, sir. | just now came from the
termination of the career of one of the
most extraordinary men of modern
times. YesI sir. Napoleon Bonaparte
wasn't in<the same class with him, and
George Washington, he was just pu-
pill in the infant Sunday-school depart
ment alongside of him. Probably you
have heard of him-'Wrath of God
Charlie we call him down our way
the champion hitter of the Western
States and Ilexico."
had not.
well, now" said the man, you
ought to know about him.
acknowledged it; | wanted to know
very much. The man with the goatee
was glad to tell me.
"A year ago last fall, said the man,
there showed up in Alfalfa county seat
a little understood cuss, lookin' sort of
seedy and down in his luck. Rather
ordinary lookin' in the face, yet you
wouldn't pick him out for a fool, ex-
actly. The most singular thing about
him was that he was the most lopsid-
eldest man you ever see. The matter
was his right arm. You'll never see an
arm like that, sir, not if you live to
fall to pieces; 1t looked as big around
as a stove pipe.
''Bein' a stranger, of course We asked
him up to drink, and pretty soon we
got to feelin' mighty we'll acquainted.
So twan't long before somebody they
asked him what his business might be.
Well, gents, says he, I don't want
to deceive you. | come up here for
one purpose, and that is to do up the
best man you've got in this here coun-
ty.
"I don't mean with a gun, gents.
says he, observing several feelin'
around back; 4 mean just man to man
fashion, without iron of any kind
whatsoever
Now, l know, II you don't. says
he that I'm the best article treading
shoe leather in this here county, and l
w-nt to do the square thing by you,
for yoa gents have entertained me
handsome Now you just trot out the
best man in this here county says he.
and II show you, the worst mangled
individual you ever see. Only one
thing | ask says he, 4 don't want
nothin' second class. The best article
you've got amt none too good for me-
so, our native pride bein' up we
steps aside and picks out Jim, the
Howler. Now Jim, he want really the
best thing we had at scrap, but he
was good, and plenty too good for that
little runt-leastwise so we thought.
"'Now you're sure that's your best"
said the stranger, lookin him over IN
a highfalutin manner, which naturally
made Jim so mad we just had to hold
him down till we got things fixed
"'Well,' said the little Teller, II
that's our best, I've got only one
thing more to ask you. l want you
to put us in big ring says Ee; when
| fight right I've got to have ring
hundred feet across. SOS to do real
good work. | can't abide to have peo-
pie pushin and crowdin' me when I'm
fightin'. And Also he says, L don't
want any help neither dressin' nor un-
dressin'; though | guess | won't have
to undress much for this.
so we took ,em out and roped 'em
of a ring, a hundred feet in diameter,
and set 'em down in it. By the time
we let Jim go he was so mad he was
hollerin' like a pig-killin', and we
couldn't hardly get him to shake hands
and do it regular, because, as the
stranger said. we oughtn't to have any
fight at all, if we want goin' to have
it regular, accordin' to Marquis OF
Queensberry rules, and not a darned
clawin' match.
But the stranger was just rs calm
as ever He had the most peculiar
way of fghtin' you ever see. Jim, he
began Immediately jumpin' up and
down. but the stranger, he stood right
still in his tracks, as if he was bracin'
up for somethin'; then he turned just
opposite from most fighters and held
out his right arm plumb straight, and
squinted along it as IL he was Amin
4 gun. About this time Jim, he was
gettin' ready to light in, when all OF
sudden the stranger hit him, and he
went right up into the air in a half
circle, like a kid divin' from spring
board, and lit on the back of his neck.
Tsnt blow made a most extraordinary
Ycl;STt, sir; you could hear it for a