davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

Don't want the pity new buildingf
Does it want to 90 see poor Of papa
working at bis Of deskr'
"Naw-ow-owf"
"shall she go buy II . new dress and
6olIie?"
m-whing-wooshomoo-wowr
See. out OF the window. the wagon going
along. without any horsie. Isn't that fun
nyY,
"Ker-chug-ma-ma-woof-wowr
shall mamma take 1t to the store to see
the new p-ttiesT'
"Ker-bim-oo-oo"
Don't want to see the pittiesf There
now, there. Dom ky no more. mammals
itty sing. Shall she dance 1t up and
DOWN."
"Baw-bin-um-swat-ee-ee-owf"
The tall, correctly dressed man. who was
sitting right alongside the woman with the
baby, and whose raglan the baby had been
threatening to kick into short ribbons for
some time past. had been looking straight
ahead. apparently unconcerned and oblivi-
Gus Of the presence Of the sQuawking In
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
Willie II LearnfnR,

Mamma has repeatedly warned little
Willie against the sin Of swearing. draw
ing dark pictures OF punishment in the here
after. Willie has absorbed a terrorizing
idea of the horned Individual that is sup
posed to be promoting the coal industry in
the torrid regions and he associates him
with the most wicked ofenses that the juve-
nile mind. aided by misguided parental
coaching. can c~onture. Clarence. an older
playmate. Is growing up with a astonish-
ing vocabulary Of cuss words and Willie's
mamma fears he will be contaminated. The
other day Willie came in In a very thought
full mood and solemnly observed:
Mamma. does you know who's de
wurstest swearers?
mo. my child; who?"
DE debbil an dat ID Ciarencer' was
the startling reply.-Detroit Free PreSl
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
CURE FOR CRYING BABIES.
Suggestion of Stranger Was Not
Cordially Received by Mamma

The woman and the baby in the west
bound avenue car kept the car lively.
The baby had the unQuenchable yells from
the Peace Monument to the War Depart
ment and beyond. Tho baby Kicked and
tossed and beat its mother In the face with
its fists. and tried to poke holes in the car
window. and gasped and snorted and
choked.
what is It mammals pity itty sing
Observation-Disclosures"
Does IL want itty purser"
Baby hurts its poor itty mamma punch
ing her. Does baby want the nice itty
horsie?"
"Shal mamma give 1t the pity new build
fnS?"
"Wow-ow-whcofr'
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
More Drug News.

You must push matters q little. James,"
said a chemist to his new boy; by calling
a customers attention to this article and
that article you often effect . sale"
Eyes. SIR" responded the new boy. and
then he fastened to wait upon an elderly
person who wanted q stamp. Anything
else. mum?" inquired tho ambitious boy.
politely; " hair dye. cosmetic, face powder.
rheumatic drops. be~iiadonna. mole destroy
err"
The elderly lady deals over the way now.
Bits.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

The Massachusetts, Supreme Court has de-
cided tina street car jolts do not prove
~contributory negligence on the part Of the
motorman. This seems to leave the field
wide open for the jolters. The motorman.
IL of a revengeful or playful disposition. can
Jolt the very socks on his complaining load
for what's the good Of complaining in the
face OF the Massachusetts precedent?
Some time ago a passenger on the Wade
Park line happened to let his gazs wander
to the heaving door Of the car.
Sir" he said between jolts to the man
opposite him, your false teeth appear to
have been 1oited out Of our mouth q
onto the floor Of the car"
'sSir." said the unfortunate passenger a
he took q fresh grip On the edge OF the
seat. Il am well aware Of the unpleasant
waiting for that brute Of Z motorman to
Jolt 'em back againr"
:. A. nth they . sSs Il ne h hish &c. Institute Of
tie C2sve1and Plain Dealer.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

And he calleth to them about him.. say
ing: Loose me the skates from on my
feet. for I would seek the solid ground"
"And I cannot walk upon my hands"
Then he goeth unto his home and
anointesh himself with arnica and iini-
ment.
And sayeth that the ice n not what It
used to be. since tbs ice trust got hold
Of Il.
II ft not %. v a. It 10 printed
hersonf
Yea surely. PerhapA-Baltimorc Amer
loan.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
In Chicago, OF Course.

THE trouble with me-" spoke the young
man who was on his way home with his
best and lovliest from q party at the Ken
hurst Club, rs that I always feel embar-
raised when I am out In company. ] never
know what to do with my hands"
Suppose you just hold them up" said .
hoarse voice In his ear.
The voice p~ertained to . large. rough
looking man with q mask on his face and
a large. rough-looking revolver In his hand.
and the youth lost no time in complying
with the observation-disclosures Tribune.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

''what is all that row over there by the
Styx?' asked the shade Of Napoleon Of the
shade of Ben Jonson.
why. that II Bacon. Shakespeare. and
that newcomer Donnelly. Each Is trying
to convince the other that he Is wrong
Baltimore American.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

A man can find lots Of fun in telling how
difficult It is for even q woman to ind her
way into her own pockets but all the
varnish comes OF the laugh when he re-
members how easily she gets into his
pockets.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

wrapped in paper. I came here merely to
establish a principle. I consider It fairly
established. Maybe o won't waste %
much OF your precious time on the next
man who stands on his rights and refuses
to be cheated out of a cent. Good morning."
Chicago Tribune.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
From the Bernvilie Circuit.

Some s~trolling Thespians were once play
ing Macbeth" in a country town. Their
properties were not kept in very systematic
order. for when the hero OF shakespeare's
drama exclaimed: rs that a dagger that
sec before me7'' q shrill voice responded
from the 'nies': mo. sir: it's the putty
knife: the daggers los~t"-Exchanse.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
bad for the watch.

Foreman of Quarry Gang: ITS sad news
OF hev fur yes. Mrs. McGinty-y'r husbands
new watch Is brokenl It was q foine
watch, and it's smashed to p~iecesr'
Mrs. McGinty: 'Dearie me. how did that
h~appenT"
Foreman: Yer see. he had 1t in his pock-
ct when q ten-ton rock fell on himr'
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

The Little Peach.
A little peach in the orchard grew
A. little peach OF emerald hue;
Warmed by tho sun and wet by the dew,
It grew.
One day. passing that orchard through.
That little peach dawned on the view
OF Johnny Jones and his sister Sue
Them two.
Up at hat peach a club they threw
Down from that stem on which It crew
Fell that peach Of emerald hue.
Mon Dieu!
John took q bite ard Sue . chew,
And then the trouble began to brew
Trouble the doctor couldn't subdus.
Too trueI
Under tho turf where the daisies grew
They planted John n his sister Sue,
And their little souls to the angels flew
Boo hoo!
What Of that peach Of the emerald hue
Warmed by the sur and wet by the dew
All. well. Its mission on earth ID through.
Adieu!
Eugene Field.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

Price Of Dfagos
Customer 10 chemiso: Give me- = esnt1
worth of oxalio acid.
Chemist: For suicide Of mechanical user
what difference II that 10 your"
IF it's for suicide ia charge you . quar-.
ter for it."
"Johnnyi Johnnyr' exclaimed he stern
parent. as he brought down the leather
strap with right good will. where win you
be when you are a middle-aged man Il you
keep up your present conductr'
IT know where you'n ber' whimpered
Johnny, under his breath. As he left the
woodshed q few moments later. rubbing
himself. But I amt goin' to tellr-Chi-
cage Tribune.
Tn thinking about that Iodgsr Of ours"
the landlord remarked to his wifA
about whatT"
HE pays his rent 30 punctually I think
I'd better raise 1t on NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Times.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
Terrible.

my wife has an impediment in her
speech" said the man with the gray tenn
Piles.
Lucky man." said the man with the
brown chin whiskers.
Don't you believe It. She has Just as
much to say on certain occasions as any
woman would have. and 1t takes her
twice as long to get throush.-Exchange.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

Il called to see your father this after
noon" remarked Charlie. as he took q seat
in the parior.
Dora futtered visibly. Recovering herself
with an apparent effort. she said, simply:
did your
YES" replied Charlie. He has been ow-
ing our firm . little account for . long time.
Exchange.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
In . Rush.

Fond Parent: "Goodnessl how you look.
child: you are soaked"
frankie: please. pa. I fall into the
river"
Fond Parents: what, with your new
trousers mr.
frankie: Il didn't have tina. pa. to
AXE 'em on"
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

''She's from Boston"
Of thought you told me you never saw
her before this minute"
True. but I Just now heard her call
those mountains in Asia the He-mol-yaws."
-IudRe.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
Caud0r.

Young Mother: d you think baby looks
most like me or his papa?'
Nurse: Il you. mum. Mr.. Jenkins IL
Q mighty handsome man."
Advertisement: Wanted-A competent
Ind w~ell-mannered nurse.-Tid-Bits
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
A Theatrical Note.

II Soubrette: Say. the leadin' man an
the onjynoo Is goin' to git married"
The Comedian: What are they marryin'
this late in the season fort"
SOS to be able to get their divorce early
next season. I reckon."-Exchange,
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

Tho average girl thinks that getting q let
ter with . sealing wax stamp and an ini-
tial on It 10 next to getting q letter bearing
q coat Of ar~ms-Atchison Globe.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

A genius IL generally a man who lets his
vito take In washing to support him
Chicago News.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

The Talkative Rfl1.
Once upon . time there was . Ri. which
prattied loQuaciously - II fell over the
stones.
A Poet came and heard It and wrote sum
dry rhapsodies: the next day It rained and
in one way and another the Rfl became
much swelled as to its head, and prattled
the more.
Presently q Man Of Affairs chanced that
way and when he heard the RIM prsttling
he s~traigAtwsy built . dam. which gathered
the Rnl into q great. silent millpond.
Now The Ri1 says nothing n saws
wood.
e" nexht better have dried up- It thinkA
sadly.
This fable teaches the practlcability Of
illustrating tho unwisdom of extreme gar
rulity without recourse to the story Of
the profans parrot.-From the Detroit
Journal.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
The prospective tenant: But /

The prospective tenant: But I don't see
how you can like this suite. Jane. There
isn't room for both Of US to turn around
together at the same time"
The dignned janitor Of the nat: waits
ing IN the apartments + strictly forbidden"
-Exchsnoss
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

Heipfsl.
what" exclaimed the orator. what
things are helping mankind to get up In
tho world?'
''rhe alarm clock and the step ladder
answered the dense person in the rear Of
the hall.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

MI. Pnkey: $50 JOS engaged to Miss Butterban. Has you called IN he
father yt?'
Mr. snatenush: "Yais. to nah sorrer. All called o him at Dc club hist
night IN he held TO- aces" M
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03
: (reading aloud):

were riveted on her face"
Magazine Editor: "Riveted? Here. cut hat
out. If he didn't belong to the union you'll
have all the b~oilermakers in this country
down on W."-Chicago Record.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-02-03

Chicago Mmonat. ehcwtns his library to distinguished novsnso: "s~ them booss7'
dnguk Novelist: Eyes"
G. NJ: A bound In calf, ant tgr -t
q. n: ESQ hey are"
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21

pines appears In n letter to The India
Rubber World. One island of the
group, during the first months OF this
year, exported to Borneo over 100000
pounds, of gum which was designed
to be worked over on the latter island
and put on the market as Gutta-
percha. While the nature of this gum
remains to be estimated by experts,
the price obtained for the material is
evidence that it has practical value.
BY this time the forestry laws enacted
by the American administration in the
Philippines have been put in force,
with the double result that the wasting
of Of the gutta trees will be checked,
and a revenue will be derived from
the exploitation of the gum.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21

the Akron skaters so that it is pos
slble that there will be more than one
team in the field, after the season has
properly opened and the game be-
comes familiar to the local spceders.
This will be almost the only element
that will make the game u success
here, for the gate receipts from games
without side teams would hardly JUS
tify bringing them here. Contests be.
tween Akron teams will probably be
more popular.
FROM CLEVELAND TO AKRON.
Two Cleveland skaters, j. A. New
berger and William Newman, skated
down the canal from Cleveland to
Akron, yesterday, in two hours and
90 minutes. They are among the best
long distance skaters In Cleveland and
We're the first to try the trip from
Cleveland to Akron this winter.
IOO MANI I'M Ill 10.
So many entries have been made for
the Howard st. pool tournament, which
will open at Frank Cohen's pool room,
the first week In the new year, that
all of those who wished to take part
cannot be accepted. Selections, up to
Il reasonable number, will be made
from the names sent in, and 1t Is pos
slble that another tournament will be
arranged for those who are left out of
the first selection. A great deal of
interest has been manifested lately In
pool playing, and the approach Of the
time for the contest Ia awaited eager.
ly by the participants.
KIRKWOOD DEFEATED.
The South Ends reversed the docis
Ions In the playing that was Oh
against the Kirkwoods on the Main
st. alleys, Friday night, winning two
out of the three games by suificien,
number Of pins to make the standings
decidedly more in their favor. Tn,
scores We're somewhat better than the,
were at the first meeting, although
they will bear more Improvement be
fore equaling the standards set at 9th
er times by both teams. The score
We're as follows:
S. Il. A. C.--s27, 737, 03s. Kirk
= woods-73l. 100, 707. Totals, soutl
Ends, 25o2; Kirkwoods, 231s. Th
t next games Of the series win be playe
: next Friday night.
8 NORTH ENDS WILL MEET.
Y There will be meeting of the Mort
$ End Athletic club, at the quarters i
II the Walsh BLOCK Monday night. 4
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21

u1kloDt sib,eefing Their sOedk net1vs TO
The shock of an examination.
oI was all rundown in health from
November until March-could not work
but short while without resting. Was
so nervous at times that I could not even
write; had very poor appetite, and
what l ate did not seem to do me much
good. decided to syy7te TO Dr. Pierre
and state my case, and am thankful that
I did, for in due time received favor.
able reply as to what kind of medicine
to take. sent and got 1t and com.
menced taking the Favorite Prescrip.
ton and Pellets Took six bottles OF
'Favorite Prescription one of Golden
Medical Discovery and one vial OF
Pellets can now work as we'll as !
could before was taken sick. think
DIR. Pierce's medicine the best in the
world for sick and nervous women"
ANOTHER WAY 70 BE CURED.
While great many sick women write
to DIR. Pierce and find cure by that
means, there are many other women who
use DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21


Schnetyer, of Pontiac, Livingston Co.,
Ill. "Have taken six bottles OF each
kind. I was taken sick last February
and the doctors here called it Grip /
lay for four weeks in bed, then when l
got up l found had displacement
Had such aches and pains in my back
and limbs could not stand any length of
time. / kneaO that our home dolfoy
uonid insist The first Thing on an ca
animation, and that would not submit
to. My son had your book, Common
Sense Medical Adviser, and ! thought
from reading it that DR.. Pierce's mcdi-
cine would do me more good than all
the home doctors-aud SO it has. | can
cay truly l was surprised at tho benefit
I received. l can do all my washing.
In fact, am on my feet most all the
time. An old friend of mine said to ME,
"Why what is the matter with you
You are getting young again l told
her had taken six bottles of DR..
Pierce's medicine, and that if she would
do likewise she would feel ten years
younger, too"
Judged by its record of wonianly ills,
there is no other medicine just as good
as "Favorite Prescription" Therefore
accept no substitute.
A FAMILY MEDICAL BOOK FREE.
DIR. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser in paper covers is sent free on
receipt of I'll one cent stamps to pay
expense of mailing only. Address Dr.
r. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N, Y.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21

fensive examination and the ohxoxious
local treatment which they know so
many local physicians deem necessary
and insist upon. AS consequence the
attending doctor obtains only n super
fcial knowledge of the ailments he at
tempts to cure, and often treats for the
wrong disease. The result is that women
suffer for long years in silence and allow
disease to gain firm hold upon them,
until they are shattered in health and
worn and weak in body.
WHAT OTHER WOMEN HAVE poNE.
Thousands of women who shrank with
natural modesty from the ordeal pro-
posed by local physicians have found
cure by consulting DR.. r. v. Pierce, Buff
falo, N. Y. DR.. Fierce invites every sick
and ailing woman to consult him by
letter, free. All correspondence is
strictly confidential, and the written con-
fidences of women are guarded by the
same strict professional privacy observed
by DIR. Pierce aud his staff in personal con-
sultntions with women at the Invalds'
Hotel and Surgical Institute, Buffalo,
NY. A letter addressed to DR.. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. ", will receive careful atten-
ton and prompt reply.
III would like to express my gratitude
to you for the benefits l have received
from your wonderful medicine, 'Favorite
son, of Rockbridge Baths, Rockbridge
Co., Va. ut is Godsend to weak and
sickly women, restoring good health
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21
GOOD GUESSERS.
Akron Men Won Prizes in Cincin-
matt ENQUIRER Contest.

The Cincinnati Enquirer inaugurated
guessing contest some time before
the fall election in which cash prizes
were offered for guesses as to the re-
suit of the election. Among the Ak.
ron guessers who sent in estimates,
Messrs. Frank Seller and o. Critten-
den. were winners of prizes, the for
mer winning one Of $40 and the other
two prizes, one of $40 and one So. The
guess that won the prize Of $4,000 was
within one of being the actual number
of votes cast.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21
Pressmen's Officers.

A meeting and election of officers In
which there were no close contests,
was held by the Pressmens union, in
its han, last last night.
The following are the selections that
were made:
j. Giffen, president; Fred Miller,
vice president; II. L. Penning, finan
cial secretary; Il. Mengensdorf, CORE
spending secretary; George Norris
segeant-at-armar
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21
THE DOCTORS GUESS
An Episode in a Turkish Harem.

A woman OF the harem is taken sick.
Turkish etiquette makes no allowance
for sickness. The woman is for her hus-
bands eyes alone. No other man may
look upon her. When the doctor comes
the sick woman thrusts her hand through
a curtain, on the other side Of which sits
the physician. PROM the hand alone he
must make his diagnosis. As a conse-
quence when Turkish woman is sick
she does not often get we'll
There is modesty of nature among
American women which, as much as the
modesty of etiquette among Turkish
wonieh often prevents an attending ply
sician from making proper diagnosis of
disease. Women who are suffering from
diseases peculiar to their sex shrink
from the indelicate questioning, the Of
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21

large an attendance as possible is ex-
pected, as business of importance to
the members will be taken up.
PRIV ATE EXHIBITION.
Mr.. Fred B. Hall, a pool playing ex-
pert who claims the championship
of the world will exhibit before the
Elks' club Friday night in difficult
shots and tricks of the game. A shot
that Is advertised as especially diff
cult is one in which the player pock-
cts IA balls at one shot. Hall will prob.
ably play in Canton Monday night.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21
DEDICATION.
Important Services at Halo
Sunday.


Zion church, Of the Evangelical
Association, at Halo, will be dedicat-
ed Sunday, Dec. o.. Preparatory SER
vices, Saturday evening, Dec. 81, at
7;30. Rev. s. p. Spreng, editor of the
Evangelical Messenger, will preach
Saturday evening. and also on Sun
day at 10 a. m, and 1880 p. m. Sun
day school at o'clock, to be addressed
by visiting brethren. Mr.. James L.
Porter will have charge Of the mu'
sic. A general invitation is extended
TO all TO be present and to take some
part in the services.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21
Turkeys For Rub
Der Workers,
Will be Distributed Tues.
day Evening.
a
Gutta Percha Found In the Phil.
ippine Islands.

Not all of the rubber manufactur-
ing concerns in Akron will make glad
the hearts of their employees at Christ
mas time, with turkeys or the alterna-
tive dollar. At some of the factories
the turkeys were given at Thanksglv-
ing time, and at others, the practice
has never been followed.
The b. i. Goodrich Co. will make
the usual gifts to its employees, and
1000 turkeys have been ordered for
the occasion. These will be distrib-
uted Tuesday night, involving an ex-
penditure of about s2,s00. The Good
year Co. will distribute about 250 tur-
keys or the alternative dollars, and this
completes the list. The distributions
will place in each case, Tuesday
evening,
The first authentic information re-
gardlng Guttapercha in the Philip
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-12-21
Catarrh Cannot bo Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they CON.
not rench the seat OF the disease. Catarrh
order to cure IL you must take internal
remedies. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken
internally, and acts directly on the. blood
Is not u Quack medicine. 1t was prescribed
by one OF the best physicians in this coun-
try for years. and is regular prescription.
combined with the best blood purifiers, aot.
Ing directly on the mucous surfaces. The
perfect combination Of the two Ingredients
Ia what produces such wonderful results in
suring Catarrh. Send for testimonials, free
#. ]. CHENEY d CO., Props, Toledo, D.
Sold by druggists, price 76c. q
Halls Family Pills are the best.