The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-01-26
Uncle Williams Lost Trousers.


Mr.. Bennington had an unfortunate
love affair early in life that may be re-
sponsible for the fact that ne never mar
ried, but that has nothing whatever 10
co with the present narrative. Let il be
said, by way Of explanation, that ne Is
somewhere between 45 and % years OF
age, tall and thin, very forgetful of IN
important matters, and an authority on
old coins
A few mornings ago he received this
note from his brother George, who lives
in Oak Park:
Dear VIII: I've got TO go to Cali
fornia on business that viii keep me
away from home for two or three weeks.
Can't you come out here evenings viii e
I am gone? Lydia is very nervous about
+ burglars, and while she doesn't absolute
" refuse 70 stay at home with nobody
but the children and the servant around.
still she would feel much more eomforta-
bic If there was man IN the house I
/ hope you can come"
Mr.. Bennington sent word that ne
would be glad to protect his sister-fnIaw
and made arrangements accordingly,
4 While he was going out on the train
the other evening to begin his guardian
I ship he CHANGED to read an item in his
paper TO the effect that man might
by folding his trousers carefully, plac-
ing them between the mattresses of his
bed at night. and sleeping on them, keep
them nicely pressed without the aid Of a
tailor. He decided to try it. His trou-
! sers were beginning to need pressing,
and he hated the bother of changing
! his suspenders and emptying his pockets
( in order to have the tailor operate.
1 For some reason he happened to re-
member about the pressing scheme when
{ nn'c got I'd
ter carefully folding his trousers so that
the ereases would be where they might
furnish the best results, he laid them be-
tween the mattresses Then being a
man with a comparatively clear con-
science and no extra millions to hide
from argus-eyed tax collectors, he went
to sleep.
It was about o'clock in the morning
when little Edward Bennington awoke
and began to cry for his mamma who
found him call broken out in a rash"
Instantly she decided that he had small
Dox, and seven seconds later the house
hold was in an uproar The servant
girl was rOusted out. the frightened wo-
man bumped her side against half-open
door and then rushed to the telephone TO
call the doctor
To her horror she discovered that the
line was crossed with something, and
all she could hear was a eeafening buzz
accompanied by loud pounding.
After she had upset a couple of chairs
and burned her finger while trying to
light the gas in the bathroom she ham
mered loudly on Uncle Williams door.
"Wha's matter?" he asked in sleepy
tones.
please hurry and get up" she i'm
plored. TN afraid Eddie has the small
pox, and the telephones out Of order.
so I can't get the Doctor Won't you go
and fetch him?'
Mr. Bennington was up by the time
his sister-in-Iaw had finished her explsn-
alton. Then he began to hunt for his
trousers. His underclothes and his shirt
and coat and vest were where he had
hung them on the foot of the bed and
over chairs, but his trousers were gonei
Wildly ne rushed around the room. He
looked through the closet half dozen
times. and ran to the windows for the
purpose Of seeing whether burglars could
have entered while he slept
Outside Mrs. Bennington pounded again
and cried:
william, william! Can't you please
hurry? The poor child may die before
the doctor gets here"
''Well. blame the luck, where's my
pants?'' he replied.
"Oh, heavens she groaned; "aren't
you dressed yet?"
mol I can't find my pantsvv he
shouted Somebody's been in this
room
Don't wait for them" she cried, fling
ing away all consideration except for
her child. Cant you go without them?'
The hired girl had Joined her in the
meantime. Losing her self-control and
family remembering her brother-in-law's
forgetfulness, Mrs. Bennington said to
the servant:
Anna, hurry in and see If you can't
help Uncle william find his trousers"
mo! Noi' yelled Uncle William, dash
ing to the door and bracing himself
against It; don't you dare to come IN
heral'
Then the girl suggested that perhaps
a pair of her mistress husbands trou-
sers might be pressed into service for
the occasion. It was a happy thought
George Bennington is at least
seven inches shorter than his brother,
and nearly twice as large around.
When Uncle William finally stepped in
to the hall he was a sight. About three
inches Of blue sock showed between the |
tops Of each of his shoes and the end Of
the trouser-ieg above, and there being /
no suspenders anywhere handy he was
compelled to hold up his brothers wear |
nG an0arel with OGJn nanGS.
But he made good time on hts way 10 |
the doctors in spite Of the awkward con- /
5ltions surrounding him. and stood, pant /
ng and anxious. beside the bed of the /
little sufferer while a hasty examination /
Of the latter was made.
The doctor found, after some scientific 4
soundings and a lot of questioning, that
he rash was due TO some new wooden
which Edwards mamma
lsd put en- him the day before. While
Mrs. Bennington. in her great Joy was
making hysterical noises, her brother
n-law suddenly whooped;
by goly, I know where my pants
re-" and rushed away to get them.
The doctor looked at the lady inquir-
ngly. nodded in the direction Uncle
William hsd gone. and said:
"Tf YOU have any idea OF trying a pri
ate sanitarium for him can teH~you
# an excellent one. where he may have
he best Of care and no questions asked"
Admired His Thirst
From the New York Mail and Express.l