The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-01-18

| III never whisper more in school;
! Ill do whatever I am told,
| And not give dad a chance ter scOld;
| I'll never sic old Towser at
| Old Mis- Perry's tabby cat;
Ill do my chores before play,
| Instead of in the usual way;
| won't go stamping on the stair;
III brush my clo'es and comb my hair;
III wipe my feet and wash my hands
! Without waiting for commands,
| SO cross my throat and may l die,
TO keep these through the year ri try.
On a certain OCCASION, some years ago.
Lord Roberts was paying a visit to a
but strict rule Of the establishment was
that while guests We're staying at the
house no person was allowed within it's
grounds, which We're watched by Il
! brawny son of Erin about & feet high.
The morning after he arrived Lord
Roberts slipped out unseen, dressed in a
very easy style, with the intention of
having look over the grounds. He
had not proceeded far through the gar
dens when he was pounced on by a big
fellow, who grutfiy shouted:
"Where wild We be goin'?"
| do you know whom you are address,
ing!' retorted Lord Roberts.
"Addressin' or not addressin', out ye
CO.
why, I'm Roberts; stay
'shure, if ye, take that ,gintlenan's
over the bridge yon!c:!'
Lord Roberts saw the situation, and
returned, but he was resolved to have
the joke out. so, telling his experience
to his host, the keeper was brought be-
fore him. The poor fellow Immediately
saw his mistake, and craved their par
don, which was soon granted, and he de-
| parted richer than when he went in.
| -:O:-
The politicians wife was startled by IL
sound below stairs.
| the house,
1.-The House, replied John. whats
worse '-PhiladelDhia Press.
The orchestra soughed and the hero Of
the light opera sprang forward to re-
mark, in recitative:
| Ihe skies are Overcast!'
"Oh, yes! exclaimed the heroine, her
face radiant with unwonted intelligence
THAT accounts for all these young per-
sons in wet weather skirts!''
The audience Numbered applause. For
it was the first time, in the memory Of
living man, that an adequate and arts-
tice raison d'etre had been assigned the
conventional chorus of village maidens.-
Detroit Journal
| Blobbs- "What did they do with that
fellow who was arrested for impersonat-
ing a policeman?' Slobbs-"Sent him
to an insane asylum. The Judge said
that any man who wanted to look like d
policeman must be y.''-Philadclphia
| Record.
Great men have their weaknesses and
jealousies. just ike those of lesser de-
gree The story of the quarrel between
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson is
quiry William e. Curtis in his Wash
ington correspondence of the Chicago
Record recalls the facts. The two had
| been close personal friends, but when
Adams made lot of appointments just
| before he went out Of the presidency and
Jefferson went in the result was a very
bitter feeling between the two, and for
\ reconciliation was brought about by
DR.. Benjamin Rush, for which Mr. JEFF
ferson was prepared by sympathetic
letter from Mrs. Adams at the time of
the death of his daughter. Mrs. Eppes.
Mr.: Jefferson and Mr.. Adams resumed
tons until their death, which occurred
on the same day, but some of Mr.. Jetfer-
sons partiSans refused to approve the
reconciliation. and when one of the most
ardent WorShipers was informed that Mr..
Adams died on the same day and almost
mt the same hour as Mr.. jefferson he
exclaimed in a passions: 1T was IL -
| Yankee trick!'
poem l left here last week. Editor
| what was it, 1T was q realistic
piece entitled The Gallant Fireman :"
I'm afraid it was too realistic. 1t prob
ably went to the fire. ''-Philadclphia
| Press.
\ certain heggar was accused Of a
crime and brought before an Abyssnian
judge. The judge commanded that the
whole of his face should be blackened,
and that he should walk about the city
all the day long in that guise.
The beggar said: 20 judge, make not
the whole of my face black. but the half
of it; lest all the city should take me for
This speech caused the judge to smile.
and he forsave the beggar his offense.-
Tales in the Century.
Little Boy-"How soon are you and
sis goin' to be married. Accepted Suit
or-''She has not named the day yet. I
hope she does not believe in long engage
ments.' ''She doesn't, l know. cause all
her engagements have been short. Tit
Bits.
Justice Garoutte relates an amusing in
cidcnt which occurred to him while cross
ing the Atlantic this summer. 1.-THE
band played every night in the second
cabin he says, land one evening l in
vited my family, Mr.. MCGEE, his wife
and a few other friends to visit the Sec
ond cabin and listen to the music. After
a few pieces had been played l called a
kellner to me and told him to give the
band a glass Of beer at my expense.
paid him the charges. the beer was
brought to the band, they stood up, rat
tied their glasses, seemed greatly delight
ed, and said good luck to big. red
faced German who was sitting on the OPP
posite side of the room. and then drank
their beer. He then arose and made a
speech, after which the band played
Hail to the Chief amid great applause.
l asked gentleman who sat near me
and who understood German, what all
the fuss was about, and he said the fell
| low who had lust made the sneech had