Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-07-24
The Daily Short Story !
Repartee of the Wordbys.
By W. EVANS BARNES.

4 ADl! III the rocker.
"A hat. my dear:" replied her hus-
band. frowning at the house dog.
Yes, my love. a hat, and a very pref
| ty one. l think"
Very pretty, no doubt, but
"Butsvhat. my love?"
But do you think you needed a new
hat?"
All. II is always so with. you men. IL
wives waited for their husbands TO sug-
gest buying something. they never
would have anything" AndiMrs. Word
| by smoothed out her dressNwith an in
jured air.
"Yes. no doubt we are all brutes"-
"Brutes. my dear? Why. never said
| that"
mo, but
But what. John? / see You are fall
ing into the habit OF not concluding
your entences."
Its because you don't give me a
chance, my dear" replied her husband.
'Ah, yes, of course. l always am to
blame for everything. p
Il didn't say that. l simply
NO, but you meant ii. You are al
ways insiuuating that l cause all the
trouble. Since you think that, why did
you ever marry me:'
'I-er-er-well. the fact lis, it was
different then
80 it was different, EN-? 1 suppose
you are sorry now that you did. and
But l didn't say that. my love. L
thought we were talking about n hat"
See! You are trying to avoid an
swering. / do say 1t now. You men
are brutes."
why. what an angelic temper you
display, Cecilia. You surely DON'T mean
that?"
YES. do. You all talk sweetly to
us until we marry you and then find
fault because we haven't wings
I'm sure / never expected such a
thing. In fact. always thought you
were a model woman
That's all very pretty, but 1 refuse
to be taken in by your candied talk.
know what you think"
Better than | do. my dear" asked
Mr.. Worldly, administering a well hi-
rected kick TO the dog which had in
cautiously approached within reachfof
his foot
Yes. better than you do" sheI re-
piled. breaking into tears. You are
a mean. spiteful thing to abuse me'so."
~ abuse you? Well, that's good
one. We were just talking about
hat when You commenced''-
There. of course. Throw the blame
on me again 1t is so manly of you to
put everything off on your poor wife.
But it's just like men"
The poor men again, Next you will
tell me we arc all cannibals and eat up
our wives as a pastinSe."
"Sir. your levity is i'll timed, You
torment me until cry and then mock
me-"
well, it's just this way. my dear"
responded her husband. getting up and
pacing rapidly back and forth. You
started by telling me you had bought
a hat, and
.'Is there anything wrong about my
buying a hat? I'm sure 1 can't go in
rags"
II don't want you to. It's simply
that you said we men were brutes"-
Il didn't say so. You said it your
self"
my dear. never
"Yes. you did. 1 know you did"
But. my love. am certain you
said So"
II did not"
"WeII. let it go. At all events, you
said abused you"
And so you do. You blame me for
everything. even when buy hat"
ooh. plague take the hat! j don't care
how many hats you buy. but
"1here, that but again. You see. you
do care. and you know it,"
Woman. p
"Nice epithet, Mr. Worldly! You for
get am your wife"
"Confound it, You never let me fin
ish 1 was going to remark
THAT / didn't need a new hat, Ell?
Precious little you care how look and
what the neighbors say. i have some
pride. sir. if you have none"
But If you would only let me con-
clude you would see wasn't referring
TO that at ALL"
"Well?'
"weII, what was talking about"
"a hat. my love"
ooh, let's bury the hat. / said |
didn't care about the hat. but 1 don't
like to have you say that abuse you"
But didn't you address ME as 'wom-
amp Goodness only knows what adiec-
tive you put in front of it mentally"
ut was because 1 became little ex-
cited
"a little excited? A very mild term.
Mr.. Worldly. You were blue in the face.
Your temper needs restraint. my deaf"
"Of course my temper is diabolical,
while yours is sweetness itself"
Il fiatter myself that / can control it
pretty well.' replied Mrs. Worldly,
with assurance. You could, too, il you
would only try. The idea of getting |
angry about a hiatt Fie on your
.'It was not the hat, tell you. 1t was
about
Now commence your TRADE again,
my love-"
NO; won't commence my TRADE, as |
you call It.; but 1 would request you in |
Il