Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-03-27
that whole time did a single blessed
dispatch or letter from the United
Cfpfns oyor cotoh ,,y, x,,t%l, mn

The government sent out three sue
cessive special messengers with orders
to hunt me up and notify me that /
was recalled, but none OF the messen-
gers were ever able to come up with
me. One Of them did get within q
days Journey of where l happened to
be, and began to think that the game
was up, but luckily he died of fever be-
fore he could do any harm.
when the four years were ended.
my own political party came into pow
er again, and the new president hap
pened to be an old friend of mine. So
he kept me In Office another four years,
and about the end Of that time re-
signed of my own accord.
"rhe president of Zarguela was as
good a fellow us you need to meet, pro-
vided of course that he didn't feel my
Gull to shoot you. He and were as
thick us thieves.
"The other ministers were pretty
swell lot, especially the Europeans.
They used to come to the palace
dressed up in gorgeous uniforms. and
ut first they looked down on me be-
cause used to wear a blue flannel
shirt and trousers and nothing else e1-
cept boots and necktie. I just adopt
ed the flannel shirts and trousers for
comfort and gave out that they were
the regulation uniform for United
States minister.
"The president, who was rough SOL
der who had risen from the ranks,
liked my free and easy style, and be-
fore had been in office month I had
more influence with him than the
whole diplomatic gang put together. l
taught him to play poker, taking care
that the balance of winnings should al
ways be on his side. and used to
spend the greater part Of my evenings
In his private room. with nobody pres
ent but just we two and bottle Of
genuine old Kentucky whisky that l
imported for. diplomatic purposes.
"This president, Don villar y Villar,
had been in office five years when
made his acquaintance. That was
something very unusual in Central
America, where president Is general
ly turned out or assassinated within
two years after he goes into Office. This
particular president, however, had shot
SO many of his opponents the day after
his Inauguration that there was nobody
who was in position to raise reyo-
luton against him. Then, again, he
had governed the country SO remarka-
bly, well that he was everlastingly pop
ular.
"One night the president seemed to
be In curiously low spirits, and after q
bit got him to tell me what was the
matter.
"'I'll tell you the whole story said
he, for know you will sympathize
with me. have been president now
going on five years, and there Is pref
ty near 5000, 900 in the treasury. Now,
1t has always been the practice for
the president to be turned out by a
revolution Just as soon as the treasury
got full enough to make 1t worth while
for him to carry It OF to Paris and live
like Christian. Here am l, with
$500, 900 In my possession and no pos
sible way Of getting out of the presi-
dency and leaving this beastly country
for good and ALL
EDO you really mean to say said /,
that you want to be turned outY
"tOf course l do said be. When
took the job of governing this country,
expected to be turned out in about
two years and to be able to go to Paris
like gentleman. But here l have been
for nearly five years, and there amt q
blessed general In the whole army who
dreams of heading revolution
"'Why not have an election and
have yourself counted outY said I.
I've had considerable experience IN
practical politics in New York. and II
you give sle the counting of the votesI
can have you defeated by an over
whelming majority no matter II there
isn't a single vote cast against You
"Thank you kindly said the presi-
dent, but there never has been an elec.
ton In this republic, and don't want
to disturb peoples minds by introduc-
ing any such useless and dangerous
ceremony
".Then why don't you resignT said I.
You've got q vice president, haven't
you? II you resign, he will come into
office, and naturally he will be glad to
have you co.
You don't know what you are say
ing replied the president. Nobody
ever heard of n president who resigned.
II were to do such q thing, l should
be disgraced forever. People would
say that am either q coward or q lu-
matte. No. Don Smith! haven't an
enterpris!ng enemy In all zarguela, and
l haven't one single friend that can
trust to rebel against me.
"'I have been simply longing for a
revolution ever since the sum In the
treasury reached 100000. but this in
fernal nation is so well contented with
my rule that nothing can induce 1t to
rebel. When l think Of the good times
oil the exIled presidents in Paris are
having ut this identical minute. It
makes me wild to have to stay here,
even though do have the pleasure Of
playing poker with the American min
ister.'
"Well, 1 felt downright sorry for Don
villar y villar, for he was by long odds
the best public man that. had met In
any part of Central America. So 1 Just
said to him on the spur of the moment
that II he would trust me would un-
dertake to get up revolution against
him in less than a fortnight
ut wasn't till after he had jumped at
my offer and called me his preserver
and his dearest friend that It occurred
to me that what had really undertake
en- to do was to help him steal all the
money In the treasury.
''Of course II 1 had been president OF
Zarguela should have considered It
stealing to run of with the treasury,
especially as I could have collared the
money honestly by Issuing regular
shipshape decree that my salary should
always be equal to the entire amount
In the treasury. However. had prom.
Used Don villar y villar to raise revo.
luton for him no matter what II might