davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1901-09-05

There's a hape av small troy in
this wurrld that's niver ished out
av tn wather.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1901-09-05

Whole tn swate colleens wild
tn kansroo walk have tn Dyes av
fashions judes apon thin, we
must not sloight tn attraction av
tn gossoons wild tn jiraff hicks.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Cure Tor insomnia.

suppose all of us are suffering from
the invasion of electricity. My old
friend Bounce, who was victim of in
somnia for 40 years. thinks he sleeps
now better than any other man on
earth. He lost his way in the Adiron-
dacks and staid overnight in the cabin
of forester. His sleep was the deep
sleep of a just man made perfect. and
in the morning he found that he had
not moved half an inch all night.
tits the insulation" the forester in
sisted. You city folks are KILN your.
selves with contact. If you'll break
the contact you'll be able to sleep and
get your nerves back"
This matter of contact was finally
explained TO mean that our bedposts
are in contact with the floors, the
floors with the walls and the walls
with mother earth. so that whatever
personal magnetism man has in him
goes away in the nighttime, leaving
him like log on his mattress. The
forester had obtained four glass insu.
lators from telegraph poles somewhere
and screwed them ON the posts of his
guest bed. so that the electricity could
not run away. Bounce The very day he
got home insulated his bed, and from
that moment to the present his insom-
Mia has been banished. - New York
y0,,,cS
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Cautious.

Many years ago. when printed music
was dearer than it is now, Il plain,.
quiet man, evidently from the country,
Went into London music shop and
asked to see n certain book of tunes.
The clerk laid before him an oblong
volume With two tunes on page. a
book familiar to old time choir singers.
The old man drew out of his coattail
pocket an ancient yellow.fife and. open
ing the book at the first page, began to
play softly. turning the leaf with care
full fingers as each page was finished.
The clerks. very much amused at
first, grew weary of the droning noise
after Il time. and one of them, waiting
till a tune was ended. ventured to say
politely:
do you think you will take the book.
sir? Does it seem to suit you?"
The fife was lowered. and the player,
looking over itat the youth in mild sur
prise, said gently:
81 cannot tell. have played only
half the tunes" and placidly turned
another leaf.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
lie Jokes No More.

Jake" inquired one OF the younger
Of the knights OF the road of an old
drummer. 'what made you laine?"
"OvcreXertiol at practical joking"
Tell that to the lambs"
THAT'S dead right. sonny. Cracked
one too many. and it left me lame for
life. Ask any of 'the old boys. That
game of cinche came in when was
travelling to what were then tsle new
silver mining districts in Colorado.
You call it pedro in this state, guess.
We'll. I had reputation for joking
those days-sort of an advertisement,
you know. There was good deal OF
shouting and shooting through the cell
Ing that night. but everybody was good
natured and jolly until five hands were
played without pedro being caught.
The bidders did nothing but so in the
hole and We're getting uglier every
deal.
"At last could contain myself no
longer, and announced with an up.
roarious ladgh that had distracted
the five spots. The general storekeep-
er was IL friend OF mine and promptly
threw me from the second story Win
dow. But they are great wing shots
out there. and two of them got me.
You'll notice that the lobe of my left
ear is gone. The other bullet was eX.
tracted from my leg under the super
vision of the vigilance committee. l
have been an eX-joker ever SINCE
Detroit Free Press.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Worse Than His Own.

A gentleman who owns one of the
finest estates in the north Of Ireland,
While in his gardens one morning, no.
ticed one of the laborers very badly
clad and asked him:
Have you no better clothes than
those. Mat?"
mo. in troth. yer honor. worse luck"
replied Mat.
well. call at the house this evening
on your way home." said the gentle.
man. "l'll leave an old suit of mine
with the butler for YOU"
A few days later, when showing a
party-of visitors through the gardens,
he was much annoyed to see Mat look.
ing. If possible. more scarecrow than
ever.
why are you still wearing those old
clothes. Matt" he asked
"Sure, yer honor, they're the best
have" replied Mat.
But did you not get the suit l left
for you the other day?" asked the gen.
tleman.
Indeed. an did. thank yer honor
kindly" replied Mat; "but. sure. had
to lave them at home to be mended."-
London Tit-Bits.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Hobson,. choice.

How many of us who use or hear the
familiar expression. "It was Hobson's
CHOICE" are acquainted with the real
sort of selection that Tobias Hobson
offered his guests? This is the genuine
version of the tale: The said Tobias
Hobson was Cambridge innkeeper,
with 40 horses in his stables, some bet
ter, of course. than others. When a
traveller came to request a mount. he
was obliged to take the steed that
stood nearest the door, although there
were SO many others advertised as for
hire. If the traveller objected to that
mount. all he could do was to wait un-
til some other traveller Tad come for
one and SO removed this and left it's
next door neighbor nearest the stable
door.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Brought Good Fortuoe.

A small item in his own paper lately
brought amazing good fortune to
EditorChris. Reitter, of the Saginaw
(Mich.) Posttand Zeitung. He and his
family had the Grip in it's worst form
Their doctor did them no good. Then
he read that DR.. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption, Coughs and Colds
was a guaranteed cure for LaGrippe
and all Throat and Lung troubles;
tried it and says: Three bottles cured
the whole family. No other metlicine
on earth equals it, Only soc and
sl.OO at Emil Hargei drug store
Trial bottles free.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
The Story Of a Picture.

Benjamin Vests picture of the
"Death of Nelson" is closely connected
with an anecdote of the great sailor.
Just before he went to sea for the last
time he was present at q dinner, dur
ing which he sat between the artist
and Sir William Hamilton. Nelson was
expressing to Hamilton his regret that
he had not, in his youth. acquired some
taste for art and some DISCRIMINATION
in judging 1t. But" said he, turning
to West, there is one picture whose
power do feel. never pass shop
where your Death of Wolfe is in the
window without being stopped by 1t. !"
West made some gracious answer to
the compliment, and Nelson went on.
"Why have you painted no more like
it?"
Because. my lord" West replied.
"there are no more SUBJECTS"
."Ah.' said the sailor, II didn't think
of that
"But. my lord" continued West, 81
am afraid your intrepidity will yet
furnish me with another such scene.
and il it should shall certainly avail
myself of it,
"Will you:' said Nelson-"wll you.
Mr.. West? Then l hope shall die in
the next battle!'
a few days later he sailed, his
strangely expressed aspiration was re-
allied. and the scene lives upon can.
vas.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11


In no other way can you go to Cali
fcrnia so quickly, so comfortably, and
Vet SO economically, as in tourist
sleeping car.
The tourist car used for the Burling-
ton Overland Excursion are models of
comfort and convenience. They have
wide vestibules, high back seats and
double windows. They are lighted by
gas. The heating arrangements are
admirable and the bed furnishings are
clean and of good quality.
The Burlington Excursions leave
Omaha every Tuesday and Thursday
and go through to San Francisco and
Los Angeles without changes or de-
lays of any kind. You can join them
at LINCOLN, Hastings, Oxford, or any
other sta lion at which the train stops
The route is through Deuver, and
Salt Lake City. past the finest scenery
visible from car window anywhere on
the globe. An experienced excursion
party and uniformed porter ac-
companies each car.
Folder giving full information
mailed on request. Beautifully illus
trated 70 page book about California
sent on receipt of six cents in stamps.
j. Francis,
General Passenger Agent, Omaha, Neb
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
How the Artist wn. Called.

When Henry s. Watson. the illustrat-
or landed at Naples. he did not know
much about European travel. He had
to make some sketches in the villages
about Naples. and his experiences have
filled him with wonder enough for q
lifetime. His deft pencil helped him u
bit. At one little village inn he tried
to get it through the landlords head
that he was to be called early in the
morning. He couldn't make himself
understood. AT last he drew picture
of himself lying in bed. the sun peep
ing through the window. the clock at
the hour Of 6 and the chambermaid
knocking at the door. Then it was
quite plain. and they woke him on the
tick.SSaturtiay Evening Post.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
TIL. Cost OF cutt;v ..n CID Atlas.

The Cost Of Cuttss- :,n Cid Atlas.
In the state department at Washing
tor - the most comprehensive and
complete set of aliases and maps to be
found anywhere in .ilis country. AS
can be readlly appreciated. they are
vitality necessary TO the carrying on of
the department, and therefore neither
trouble nor expense is spared In keep
Ing them constantly up to date. 1t
would be supposed that their extreme
value and Importance would be patent
to every one.
Some years ago, however, one of the
most valuable aliases was found with
two Of the maps cut out. The maps
had not been distracted. They had
simply been detached from the bind
ing. Investigation proved the mutila
tion to he the work of q certain clerk,
who on being hauled up by his superior
explained why he had done 1t as fol-
lows:
'Those books are terribly heavy and
hard to handle, and SO cut the maps
out in order to get Mt them easier. The
aliases We're very old, and didn't sup
Pose eHeS were ot any Ealue CT mat
any one would care"
To the state department an atlas is
like bottle of wine to judge of fine
drinks-its value increases in direct
ratio with it's age. 1t was felt in the
department that that particular clerk
mad mistaken his calling in life, aud to
him was accordingly given an opportu-
nifty to pursue another one.-New York
Tribune.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
An Unexpected Retort.

Where" asked the female suffrage
orator, would man be today We're it
not for woman?''
She paused a moment and looked
around the hall.
II repeat" she said, swhere would
man be today were it not for womanY'
''He'd be in the garden of Eden eat
ing Strawberries" answered voice
from the gallery.-Boston Traveller.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Burlington Route-.-Tlrough Sleeping
Cars to San FrauciscO.

No changes-no delay-no chance
missing connections-ifyo you go to Cal
ifornia via the Burlington Route.
The Burlington runs through sleeping
cars Omaha, Lincoln and Hastings, to
Salt Lake City al I San Francisco
daily. Dining cars IL the way. Lii
barry cars west of +a,zan. Finest in
the world.I See n ,rsst Burlington
ticket agent, or writ J. Francis, q. P
A.. Omaha, Neb.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Blown 10 Afo .

The old idea that the body some
times needs IL powerful, drastic, purga-
tive pill! has been exploded; for DR..
Kings New Life Pills, which are per.
fectiy harmisss> gently stimulate liver
and bowels to eXpei poisonous matter,
cleanse the system and absolutely cure
Constipation and Sick Headache.
Only 25c at Emil Harsens drug
store.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

There are no front yards or doorsteps
in Havana. The doors and windows Of
the houses open directly upon the side
walks.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
10 Need of Cha.inr

Jeweler-This ring is 81 more than
the plain one on account of the chas-
ing.
F'armer-see herd mister. yew don't
haf ter chase me. I'm goin ter pay fer
what git-Chicago News.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
Got What They Wanted

Their Caller--I don't see why Count
Parchesi and his American wife should
quarrel.
Miss Davis~Their interests clash. do
they not?
Their Caller-Not to any marked de-
gree. She wanted foreign alliance
and he foreign allowance, that's all.
Harlem Life.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

b. of A. Y.-Brotherhood of American
Yeomen, No. $50, meets first and third Thurs
day of each month ut /. o. o. F. Hall
Visiting members cordially invited.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11
SECRET SOCIETIES.


NJ. w. A-Camp of Modern Woodnfen of
America meets every Monday night at 1. o.
OF.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

O.E. S.-Meetings occur second Tuesday of
each month Lillian NJ. HARGENS, w NJ.
EMILY NJ. GRIPPEN, Sec.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

In I. O..O. F. Hall ON the first and third Fri
day evenings of each month. Visiting Pyra-
mids cordially invited to meet with us.
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

Hot Springs Encampment No. 80, 1. o. o. r.
Meets at i. o. o. +. Hall on the 1st and Bird
Saturday evening of ench month. Visiting
Patriarchs cordially invited to meet with us
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

A. F. & A. M.-Harmony Lodge meets ut
Masonic Hall on the second Friday of each
month. Visiting brothers cordially invited
Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-01-11

LOO. F.-Hot Springs Lodge No; 1i2 meets
every Wednesday evening at L. y. D. f. Hall.
Visiting brethren cordially invited to meet
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10

Der II. 1901, from the hour " is o'clock
noon to the hour " o'clock = m, cI
said day
Tho following polling places In each
ward VI said city have been establish
cd. namely
In ward No. l. cdnrg house,
la ward No 9, wcl,h bl'ck
In waA NJ, T. Astoria nlN Co.
Tho following Judges have been ap'
pointed ,o.wi,
WAM 80, /. George lohns'p, L. y
itowcs ami W n Young
ward No =, John wclch. AUGUST
Nelson and Il s naNla
warl NJ O. A. nrlN uua, Holmes
api l.. Agrcn
RS oplor or tAe city Central Commit
.rc. W T. MGKEGulI
Attest chairman
y. T. LElNENwEnER
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10
TELEGRAPHIC BRIEFS,

The report that J. p. Morgan was
negotiating for Hamburg-Amer.can
line IS denied
The University Of Chicago has Of
fered a site for the proposed French
school f1r study II American indus-
trial methods.
Ruetger's college is the latest rsclpi-
ent Of Miss Helen GOuli's bounty. She
has given $4,000 10 the New Bruns-
wick, y. J., college. and the money has
been made available for use this sea-
son.
Andrew Carnegie intends TO model the
new Pi.tsourg Institute for Manual
Training close upon the lines Of Pratt
Institute, Brooklyn, and he mas Just
visited tha, institution. Spending two
hours in q study II -ae methods of i;s
teachings
After lying 70 lll-ness fJr over four
years the famous Luetgert sausage
factory als been sold By the estate Of
the deal sausage maker The plant
was on- o, he most *. x.ensive private
enterprises " Chicago, and It was with
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10
PENSION REFORMS,

Though reple,e with facts and con-
tanning many suggestions for reforms
In the pension department, the late re-
nor, of the c,aamiss!OSer Of pensions
presents no more interesting feature
than tha; connected with the flinS Of
pension claims by those who served in
the war with Splin and 5he insurTec-
ton IN the Philippines. In speaking
upon this branch OF the work q the
bureau the commissioner saws:
1T s shown that the soldiers Of thesa
wars enjoy much greater benefits than
were accorded to the soldiers u the
civil war. in the amoun, o. pensions
granted for the same degree q disa-
bHity. While the civil war lasted for
four years and the casualties were
enormous. and the SDantsh-American
war lasted only about four months
with comparatively few casualties. it Is
shown that three years after the close
OF the Spanish war claims for pensions
amounting to about 20 per cent Of the
soldiers engaged in the war had been
filed. while in 1872. or seven years after
the close Of the civil war, only about
Elk per cent Of the soldiers engaged in
that war had filed claims"
The commissioner disclaims anv be-
lief that those who served in the war
with Spain were less patriotic or more
covetous than tle civil war veterans.
but in his opinion ii is the faul, Of the
system Of pensioning, with its active
army Of attorneys. solicitors and drum
mers. who are practically licensed By
the government with tn promise Of SIS
FOR each claim allowed"
Unquesti3nably this Is the cas-, ani J,
is TO be hoped that the recommenda-
tion embodied In his report for me
eradlcad5l u tAi ssyil viii be embodied
into law Our pension laws are liberal
and no one begrudges the worthy ap-
plicant his pension, but the ra.ding II
the public treasury by those who have
10 claims upon the bounty n the gov
ernment should cease.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10

The medical staff tha; treated Presi-
dent Mckinley during his struggle with
death after the assassln's shot, is Sc
verely arraigned in an editorial IN the
October issue Of Modern Medical Sci
ence. The writer. among other state
ments, offers these specific criticisms:
1T becomes imperative on the faith
ful medical journalist to indicate and
arraign the entire eminent medical and
surgical stan attendent on the late
more than lamentel President McKin-
ley. for culpable omission Of blood
treatment under the following spscihca-
tions:
Il Omission 10 nourish and sustain
the illust1ous patient with auxiliary
blood when the wounds and operations
had precluied natural alimentation.
"2. Omission to apply the unquestlon-
able power of auxiliary blood to heal
the wounds, both surgical AMI criminal.
and to prevent and overpower the pJs-
sibility Of gangrene."
II this thing keeps on Il will soon
De a serious question Of Just who was
responsible for the martyred presidents
death.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10

IN the g.1lmy Nrllk walls ~ the N's
factory ,hat luctgert was accused NJ
having murdered MS wife IN May iSso
ami placiag the NNncs tn one " thc
rcni,~,ng tanks and Nus consuming u
IN ,aa crNh p';aSA.
The revolutionary gurN,N, pH''n,
which was cap,urej tram the CNbom-
H,an goy,rnmcni reccn,ly, s,oppd the
rN,xrafo, gavc,pmenl vessel pra.
ce,d.ng from David with troops under
van,ain pelNus,,. ani oSatuN'i a lNrgc
number ~ arms ani ammunition
Ths condition " Emprc>s Augusta
Victoria IS more s,riou, and b Is 10.
noupS,d Jnat as son As she Is su..
tclcn,ly rested O. bear the Journey
she viii start rtr tho sAu,h 90 trv the
effects " mlljHr climate Il Is du'te
possible tina, Ahhaz1, on n, AirtAtc,
viii %, chosen.
. rermauen, organization ~ ,ht south
eru California olgvegrowcrs Association
has been effected It's purpos, is To
promote the olive industry, nnd a
marSe, for yhe oa aud fruit ani
maintain 4 mtrkst price tha, viii make
he business " OLIVE culture rcmun-
crative to those engag,d IN a.
General Smith has issued orders tor
b.di.ug the purchase " hemp IN The
,slani ~ Leyte except In small quAn,l-
ties .or food which purchases mus, be
under 'he supervision % the military
authorities, All the parts In Ley,e
are closed and traffic is forbidden where
il cannot be supervised by the military
Miss Margare, Evelyn Heron. sister
~ Pr,t. George II, Herron. the S'ciol-
Is, ag.ta,or has announced her en-.
cagemeu, to marry Or Henri Werner
Bargaau ot Msn,stee, Mich, The wcl-
ling will be clulucted on the same
plan which made sensational the mar.
rlge of Prnt. Heron G., Miss Carrie
Rand.
Judge Kphlsaat in tn, United States
Circuit Court has issued an Injunction
agains; the Cus.um Clothing Makers
restraining tiem from In any way at.
tempting 10 'ujure or Interfere with the
business OF Cincinnati clothing drm.
The firm asked tha, the union De re-
strained trIm issuing circulars stating
that the concern was unfair 20 orgln-
lzed labor
The conviction has crys,al.iErl In
Wall Street that an agreement Will be
arrived a, which. Will insure peace
between the contestants Ia the North
western railway territory and VIII unite
the hands Of capitalists who have been
obliged to lock up enormous capital IN
the struggle tOr control Of the North
ern Pacific and the Burlington
Maryland carried away the leading
prizes %, the National Beagle Club
trials at whel;ley Hlus, L. l.. through
the cleverness of" the mack belonging
20 Charles F. Brooke ~ Sandy Springs
His Bridget B., Bessie r. Bonnie B
and Cycle b, were the vittors IN the
national challenge cup class ior dogs
showing ability IN the field AMI c'nf9r-
nation and general leyeIness IN ,ae
bench
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10
CALL FOR \ REPUBLICAN CON
VENTiON FOR THE CITY
OF ASTORIA

\ Republican convention '1r 'Nr city
~ Astoria. Ca,sop County. state "
Oregon. Is hcrrhy called o. mrr. AZ thr
court house In the ciV W Astoria. on
Thursday November q. \ T.. 1901
at tho hour " l.3o o'clock %. IN. ior
tGc purpose " nominating tho follow
Ing officers ~ said cl,y, 90 br voted ror
at n, mex, general election IN said
city, 20 be- h-i on wcihcsily, pccrm-
Der II. \, d. 1901. l'-wlt
one mayor.
ono treasurer
one auditor and police Judge
one pol.c. commissioner
one surveyor
one street superintendent
one councilman tor the Flru, ward
one councilman fjr the Second ward
one councilman Tor the ,hlrd ward
No,lcc l. further giycn. that a prl'
mary election Is hereby called TO be held
In the CRY ot Astoria. Chlsop County
State u Oregon. flr the purpose ~
electing eleven delegates In each ward
o, sail city, TO the Republican eonvsn.
tlnn q. the city of AS'or.a, aforesaid
10 BE- held at said CITY " Astoria, on
Thursday. November e. a D. 1901. AZ
1880 o'clock p m; said primary clcc-
ton shall Doe h.il THURSDAY. Naycm-
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-11-10
GALL FOR CITIZENS CONVENTION

\ mass meeting og tho ciIlseau. vol'
crs aud tax.payera " Astoria irrrs'
pecglyc VI party Affiliations, s hereby
called to meot at the opera house on
"Wednesday evening. November 20 laOi.
at ESQ y. IN. t'r the purpose n noml'
mating the following officers O. b7 vol
cl gor At the general el,y election to
be held In tho CITY " Astoria on
Wednesday. December II, 1901
ons mayor
one auditor ami phloc Iuisr
One police comm!sal'ucr
ono treasurer
one suprrnlrnicu, OF streets
one surveyor
one councilman from the Firal See.
ond ami Third wards. respectively
An voters. irrespective ot party af.
nuatons who hrlIcve In an hlncu, and
economical administration " rly AZ.
fairs. the same that has characterized
the goytumcn, Of the Clty ~ As'o.
ria turing the pas, four ycars under
tho regime % the ci.larna' m1yym-a,
and who are opposed 20 ring rulr ani
boNsism. are cordially inylgcd 20 attend
and participate IN the deliberations
ny orirr ot Ciuzrns' Committee
T. n SOvEY secretary