The age-herald., 1901-03-24
HIS FUNNIEST STORIES.
Some Good Yarns By Private John Al
 len Recalled By E,Is Retirement.

From the New York Press.
 The retirement from the House of Representative at the close of the present Congress of John M. Allen of Mississippi will terminate all hope of Washingtonians to hear fall from his --ps more of those humorous phrases of this wag's invention, which, like the sallies of Yorick, were wont to set the table in a roar. One of his good stories is this:
 Before my election l came home one night, and found that while l had been off on our campaign the leaders of our party had organized Cleve- land Hendricks and Allen Club, and they were to Lave a meeting that night I went, and when they got through speaking they called on me. I expressed my convictions, and said what I wanted them to do for me when the election took place, in about two weeks. There were good many ne- groes present, and wanted to get them interested; so I got the boys to call on Jim Cummings, an old, slim negro. Old Jim got up and said: Well, gentlemen, you heard MT. Fay Tor and MT. Anderson on the politics of the day. They'se tod you what sort of a man Mir. Cleveland is, and what sort of a man Blaine is. and it don't look to me like no honest man ough. to have any trouble in picking out between them two. You have also heard Mr. Allen crate about hisself; and he has recommended hisself so much higher than the balance of us can recommend him that it ain't wuth while fer me to say anything much about him.
 Mr Allen takes special pride in this poker story, because" says he, the oratory employed in it is thoroughly illustrative of Southern pluck, of which I claim to be the highest type. There were lot of drummers in the smoking car of southern train, and they were talking about the games of poker they had played. An old fel- low was sitting near them. He wore an ancient high hat and was smoking a pipe. One of the drummers said: T played a remarkable game the other night. We were playing jack-pots, draw limit. A man across the table opened the jack pot; l raised him about sixty-seven times; then l called him. He had a jack high straight flush Hereupon the old fellow ad dressed the speaker; he seemed dis appointed at the story. And you say you called him?' he asked. Yes An exclaimed the old fellow, with a sigh, times ain't like they used to be- Why, gentlemen, I am betting on a hand that was played in 1857. I will lair it Vnn from Tennessee. In 1857 my father and old Colonel Dobbins started into game at Murfreesboro, and they got to betting It appeared as like they were both pretty well satisfied with their hands, and neither of them was willing to call. They kept on betting as long as they had any money; then they got to betting niggers. They kept that up as long as they had any nig- gers, and then they got to betting land. They kept betting as long as they had any land. and then they agreed just to seal up their hands and put them in the safe, and, as they got money along to put 1t on them. That went on till the war broke out my father went into the Confederate army and he was killed. Old Colonel Dobbins died. But | after the war was over the old colo nel's son, Jim, and me, we took it up and as we git money along now we put it up on them hands; and, strang CTS, do hope to get them hands be- | fore l die
 "A colored orator can rise to very eloquent heights I once heard pithy funeral sermon delivered by negro preacher over a defunct darky. The dead man had been fond of attending gay parties, where he whistled and danced, and these practices the preacher did not approve, so he said: l My brethren and sisters, We are here 1 to pay our last sad respects to our departed brother. Some says he was a good man and some says he was a bad man. Where he has gone to we can't tell, but in our grief we has one consolation, and that is-that he is dead!"