davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
MUST HAVE BEEN NATURAL.
The Humorous Compliment of Bishop
Wilmer to an AtrOciOus
Piano Player.

One of the most kind-hearted men
in the world was the late Bishop JOS
eph P. Wilmer, of Louisiana, says a
southern exchange. He could not hurt
the feelings of the humblest mortal.
He was once travelling in England with
his cousin, Bishop Richard Wilmer,
when an incident occurred which
shows Bishop Joseph's readiness in
trying situation. The two bishops
were being entertained by a gentle
man who thought his wife had all the
musical talent and accomplishment
that any human being can possess. He
insisted upon a specimen of her per.
Torrance. The two apostolic cousins
stood near the piano. Bishop Richard,
recognizing that compliment would
be necessary and difficult to make,
quietly stepped back, as most men do
on such occasions, leaving the position
of honor to Bishop Joseph, wondering
what the end would be after "the as
sault upon the ivory keys" might sud-
denly terminate in an awkward selah.
Bishop Joseph, like a self-possessed
woman, with dignity and sweetness OF
thought, spoke to the hungry soul Of
the adoring husband:
els that touch of your wife natural
or acquired?"
"Oh, it is perfectly natural" replied
the delighted spouse.
81 thought it was" said the bishop.
''for 1 don't think such touch could
be acquired"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

anxiety lest a number of other girls
should have been before her and Sc
cured the place.
81 am in hurry to look into the jaws
of my dragon" she said, as she turned
the corner into Hamilton street. 81
do hope he will not swallow me down
at one mouthful before 1 have had IL
blow at him with my-my-broom-
stick" she added, not caring whether
the metaphor were exact or not.
She paused a moment when she
reached No. SO, and was pleased to note
that the house was not too large nor
too srlall.t
"Just an average family, I hope.
Well, here goes" she said, under her
breath. as she rang the bell. She had
studied Latin and Greek at Mount Hol-
woke, but Here goes" was all she could
think of to express her courage at that
moment. After all, Here goes" may
be as good a battle cry as any other to
alarm dragon, especially if back of
the short cry is silent prayer for
strength, such as Barbara offered up
at that moment.
There was no immediate answer to
her ring and she rang again. Then
there was the patter of child's step
in The hall and the door was opened.
as your mamma at homer" Barbara
asked with smile. The child did not
answer at once, and Barbara took the
liberty of stepping into the nall, still
smiling at the child, who continued to
look at her gravely. If dragons are
to be met, why not with smile?
~Will you please tell your mamma
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
A Fatal Mistake.

Mrs. Isolate (of Lonelyville)-You
say the new cook only stopped long
enough at the Lonelyville railroad sta
ion to take the next train back to the
,ity, Ferdinand? / fear you didn't
show her enough little attentions on
he trip Quit
Isolate (miserably)-I bought her
everything the train boy had; but 1
knew 1 had lost her when 1 didn't kiss
her when the train went through the
tunnel!-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
@0@ 8 s.
ssBEE11SGl1JE1|SEgyl52
s. *
Had "A Better story.

did you see the account of that
fash of lightning that burned the
hair from a boys head without 9TH
erwise hurting him."
81 did," answered the cheerful liar,
and 1 was panied to note the incom-
pleteness of the story. Now, 1 hap
pen to know of a case that is really
remarkable. The lightning entered a
oarber's shop and not only undertook
:he task of singeing a mans hair, but
t rung up the proper amount on the
cash register" Chicago Post.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

"You announce in your paper" said
the wrathful young woman, "that ]
would not be married, all reports to
the contrary Notwithstanding"
swell, isn't that the report you
sent imp" asked the society editor.
''No, it isn't" answered the wrath
full young woman. "The inference is
all wrong. 1 said would not be mar
ried to the particular young man to
whom 1 was reported engaged, which
is quite a different matter."-Chicago
Post.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

John" said Mrs. Billus, after the
caller had gone away, 81 wish you
wouldn't bunch your plumbers So"
what do you mean, Maria?" asked
Mr.. Billus.
81 didn't mind your telling her that
you were ten years older than I, but
you followed it up a minute later by
letting it slip out that you were so. y
Chicago Tribune.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
HaIa SIN Lnnkinr-

Here's good chance for you,
jack" said the father of the young
man just about to graduate from
college, looking up rom the want"
advertisement in the paper.
"a chance isn't what 1 want" said
the young man, loftily. "I'm looking
for an opportunity. "-SomervilleJ Jour
nal.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

Curley-See that fellow looking over
there? He used to go to the same col
lege that did. wonder if he remem-
bers me?
Burleigh-Ask him for the loan OF
five dollars.
Curley-What for?
Burleigh-If he remembers you, you
won't get it.-Judge.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

The theological argument wsxed
warmer and warmer.
'But, my dear sir" protested Dca-
con Ironside, aghast, 'you don't pre-
tend to know more about it than the
Apostle Peter did, do your"
what did the Apostle Peter know"
retorted the man with the aggressive
pompadour, "about the higher crit
icism ?"-Chicago Tribune.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
A Practical Cues.

"What makes that friend of yours
keep clamoriEg f, the young man
in politics."
L don't know" answered Senator
Sorghum, unless he thinks that some
of the older fellows are getting too
wary and hard to handle. Washing
ten Star.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

A composite picture of Mrs. Smiths
cooks for a year. She had run of
poor luck, including a Chinaman, .
negro and several rather strong
minded and buxom females.-Good
Housekeeping.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

Bessie and her father were sitting
out on the lawn looking at the stars.
"That very red one," said her father,
els Mars, named after the god Of
war"
"The god of warl" cried Bessie. "Oh,
papa, wonder if that isn't where the
shooting stars come from? "-Detroit
Free Press.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
Making Progress.

Miss Young (enthasiastically)-Oh.
Miss Timer is so lovely, so inteIlectu-
al! Not in her first youth, you know,
but
Miss Stager-No; but from what 1
havelearned about her, should think
she must be well on in her second
childhood.-Leslie's Weekly.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
satisfactoriIy Explained.

''Why Go you talk so much?" ma cried,
Reproving little May.
ct s'pose it's cause the child replied,
Use got so much to say
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
Accounting for 1t Chemically:

cit may be merely fancy" remarked
Mrs. Selldom-Holme, ''but since my
husband began drinking the water
from that iron spring he has seemed to
be ten times as obstinate as he used
to be-
Perhaps" suggested Mrs. Nexdore,
"the water is tinctured with pig iron"
Chicago Tribune.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

He-That must be very interest
ing book YOU are reading.
She-Oh, it's awfully exciting! The
heroine changes her gown six times
in the first chapter. "-Tlt-Bit
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
The Cynic,s Misfortune.

This worlds a place, when all is done.
BY fond illusions ruled;
That man cannot have any fun
Who never can be fooled
Washington Star.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

The bachelors say that, on the whole,
Their independent homes will do;
But married men have better halves
And therefore better quarters, too.
Good Housekeeping.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
Mental Actixitx-

The man whose mind is ne'er content
On one of two extremes is bent.
He pushes on to fame's front rank
Or else he gets to be a crank
WASHINGTON Star
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
His Buay Day.

Quarryman-Biddy!
His Wife-Phwat do We want now,
sure?
Quarryman-Pour some kerosene
on tn fire an make it hot so Oh can
thaw out me dynamite.-N. Y. Weekly
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

''Wot's de matter, Billy?"
"Me intented trew me over becuz I
didn't have no automobile"
''Take an old mans advice, an don't
have nothin' more to do wild her. A
woman wild extravigant ideas like dat
would ruin any man."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
1t Would Seem So.

Some men work all night long,
And some from sun to sun;
But the bill collector has a snap
His work is always dun.
Chicago Daily News.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
Odd
Housekeepi

ANY odd job?" the tramp inquired.
The housewife answered with a nod.
"Were you to do most any job
She pleasantly observed, "'twere ocd,'
Detroit Free Press.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

Uncle Hickorycrick-Whoa, thar,
Betsy! Dang it! Whar We gwine?
Betsy-There's furniture van
ahead with a mirror in the rear end.
want to see if my hats on straight.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
A sure Indication.

ooh, I visited such a woefully pow
erty-stricken. family this morning."
said the sympathetic member of the
charity committee.
''Indeed!" asked the chairman of the
committee. "Were they very, very
poor?"
poor! Man, it is pitiable. Why,
they are SO poor that they keep IS
dogs" -Baltimor American.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27

Once more the lonely fisherman
Dusts off his book of flies;
Likewise his reel and pocket flask,
Also his last years lies.
Chicago Daily News.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-08-27
BORN TO SERVE
By Charles NJ. Sheldon,
Author of GIN HIS STEPS, - "JOHN KINGS
QUESTION CLASS, - edward
BLAKE, - Etc.
CHAPTER I.-CoNr1NuEp.

CCOpyright, 1900. By Charles N. sheidOn.J
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
A Great Railway.

The Chicago, Milwaukee IL st. Paul Ry.
is running Electric Lighted Trains of
Compartment Cars, Standard Sleeping
Cars, Buffet Library Smoking Cars,
Dinning cars and Coaches, between
Chicago, Milwaukee, st. Paul and
Minneapolis.
Buffet Observation parlor Cars on day
trains between Chicago, st. Paul and
Minneapolis.
Electric Lighted Trains Of Sleeping Cars,
Buffet Library Smoking Cars, Dining
Cars and Coaches between Chicago and
Des Moines, Omaha and Sioux City.
Solid Trains between Chicago and North
ern Wisconsin and the Upper PENN
sula of Michigan.
Solid Trains between Chicago and
Iowa, Minnesota, Southern and Cen
trail Dakota.
The finest Dining Cars and Sleeping
Cars. Electric Reading Lamps in
berths.
6,GOO miles of road in Illinoise, Wiscon-
sin, the upper Peninsula of Michigan,
Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, South Da-
kota and North Daz ota.
Ticket Agents everywhere sell tickets
over the Chicago, Milwaukee Il st.
Paul Railway, or address John r.
Pott, District Passenger Agent, $40
Park Bldg, Pittsburg. 81
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
Notice.

Notice is hereby given that an applica-
ton will he madetG the GoVernOro OF Pen
nsylvania on the 26th day of Nov, A. d,
1901, by Frank McNeal, Il. A. Yetter,
w. $. Calderwood, Fred w, Reese ard
Oscar II. johnson, under the Act Of As
sembly entitled, "An act to provide for
the incorporation and regulation of GER
tain corporations" approved April 29,
1874, and the supplements and amend
ments thereto, for the charter of an in
tended corporation to be called "The
Blue Jay Supply Company" the charac.
ter aud object OF which is, "Trading and
Dealing in General Merchandise and
for these purposes to have, possess and
enjoy all the rights, benefits and privi-
leges of said act OF Assembly, its suppli-
ments and amendments thereto.
81 r. f. RITCHEY, Solicitor.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
Special Hunters Rates

Beginning Nov. 9th, until Nov. 30th, the
Nickel Plate Road will sell hunters tick
cts to parties of3 or more travelling to-
gether to McCome or Payne, or stations
between these points, to So. Whitley or
willvale, or stations between these
points, at one fare for the round trip.
Return limit Dec. 2. Obtain detailed in
formation from nearest agent of the
Nickle Plate Road or call at or address
City Ticket Office a2O State ST., Erie. Pa,
IL. c. Allen, c. p. & t. A. No. 23O,-3t
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13

Steion Keltonik, an educated Hun
garian of Punxsutawney in conversation
with the editor of the Spirit recently,
said that the one thing that caused most
trouble. and seemed to be the most alb
surd in the English language, was the
use of so many superfluons letters in the
spelling of words. ITO retain the use of
letters that are meaningless, and only
serve to make photography and pronnn-
citation Of your language more difficult"
he said, "seems like the Chinese method
of keeping in the old ruts, just because
they are old, and refusing to adopt things
which they know are improvements, out
of blind reverence for the ways of thier
ancestors. What is the use of putting
"ugh" to such words as Though" and
"enough," when "tho" and "enuf'
would be easier? Then what sense is
there in spelling "Worcester" and pro-
nouncing it "Wooster ?" There are hun
dreds OF words in the English language
that could be very much shortened and
simplified by dropping out letters that
are no use and only serve TO confuse a
student of the language
We all recognize this to be true and yet
we do not have the courage to spell words
in the natural and proper way, giving
each letter its true sound, and emitting
those that are not sounded at all. The
photographers will never do this for us.
They are the mere recorders of things as
they are. Usage is the only authority,
and if we desire to bring about spelling
reform we must simply take tie matter in
hand and spell words as they are pro-
nounced, without reference to the die
| tionary.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
HIS RECALL TELEGRAM.
II Didn't work ns smoothly as n e
Had Anticipated.

81 have had only one cNpe ignce in ed.
dressing a communication TO myself, ~ said
n professional mau, 'ald that was so dis-
astrous | never tried il again. II lap
pencd in this way: Shortly after | hung
out my shinGle and while | was having
desperate struggle to make both ends
meet a rich, eccentric old aunt of mine
invited me to spend the summer at her
country home in Vermont. ] knew the
old lady had a very peppery temper, but
she had always promised to do some
thing Tor me- and, under the circum-
stances, | concluded to 90. Her home
was several miles from the nearest vii.
lage and was really a beautiful place;
but, just as had feared, my aunt herself
proved To be terribly trying company.
She was iraschle and domincering to the
last degree, and, having lived alone with
a lot Of cringing servants. she was in the
habit Of saying things that made my
blood boil in my veins. ! managed to
hold my tongue, however, and when |
finally saw that wasn't going to be
able TO stand it much longer | thought
up neat little scheme for beating
graceful retreat.
81 had a special chum here in New Or
leans who knew all about my trip, and
one evening | slipped over to the village
Tl,o tbis. .TmnossibIo IN remain lon,or
with tba ola sbrew Wira mo Tomorrow
tbot in,nc,tont businees demands NV inn.
mc5iotn nroscnco Nol,o IL strong NJret
slim, That was hrntol I admit bpt
u.os boJI,. worried mn
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
Poisoned From the Bite of a Cat.

Mrs. Danial Porter, residing near War
rem, Pa, in putting a cat from thu house
after it had fit, received a serious bite
in her thumb. Her whole arm became
swollen and highly inflamed. She at once
had it reduced and in a few days cured,
by applying freely, Wano Electric Oil
The remedy is guaranteed for injuries,
skin diseases, neuralgia, sores, rheuma-
tism, catarih, hayfever, etc. 25c bottle
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
Pennsylvania Railroads. Winter Excursion
Route ROOk.

In pursuance of its annual custom, the
Passenger Department of the Pennsyl-
vania Railroad Company has just issued
an attractive book descriptive of the lead =
ing Winter resorts of the East and South,
and giving various routes and combina-
tions of routes of travel. Like all the
publications of the Pennsylvania Rail
road Company, this "Winter Excursion
Book" is a model of typographical and
clerical work. 1t is bound in a hand
some and artistic cover in colors, and
contains mu N valuable information for
Winter tourists and travellers in general.
1t can be had free of charge at the princi-
pal ticket office of the Pennsylvania Rail-
road Company, or will be sent postpaid
upon application to Geo. w. Boyd, Assis-
tant General Passenger Agent, Broad
Street Station, Philadelphia. 1t
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
oil market closed at sl.sO.

--Oli lltThtt cioStu NJ glow
oil and gas leases at this Office.
You can get it at Hopkins store.
November court convenes next Mon
day.
Heavy pants and coats at Tionesta
Cash Store. 1t
Nice line of hoods and fascinators at
Heath 4 Feirs. II
Finest lamps for holidays at Tio-
nosta Cash Store. 1t
The deficit in the Pan American will
reach above s3,OOO,O 600.
Everything fresh and palatable at
the White Star Grocery. 1t
Shot guns for rent and ammunition for
sale at White Star Grocery. II
Warren papers deny that the town
has typhoid fever epidemic,
See Hopkins and get one of those
winter caps. They're all right. 1t
Thanksgiving will he the next legal
holiday. A warning to Turkey.
Oysters and the famous Brundage
bread at the White star Grocery. 1t
The best brand of rubber boots at the
lowest figure possible at Hopkins. 1t
When loaier does go to work, he ex-
poets everyone to sympathize with him.
Buy your under wear at Killmer
Bros. ifyou want the best for the least
money. 1t
in winter caps we can fit all heads, all
ideas and all wallets. See it we can't.
Hopkins 1t
A good assortment of fruits and vege-
tables is always to be had at the White
Star Grocery. 1t
The Clarion State Normal School af-
fords the best training at the least ex-
pense to the student.
-Ifyou need anything in outing han-
nels or flannelette, this is the store to
come to. Heath & Felt. II
When this item was penciled it looked
much like we might have a flood in the
river and creek. thus letting the lumber
men out with their wares.
If anybody should find a large gold
seal with dark stone setting, and attached
to silk ribbon fob, we'd like to pay him
suitable reward by leaving same at this
office.
Following is the list o. letters remain
ing uncalled for i'm the Tionesta, Pa, Post
Office, for the week ending Nov. 10, 1901:
J. W. Stroup, L. NJ. Clark, Esq.
ID. S. KNOX, p. NJ.
Gen. John B. Gordon will be the
next attraction here in the way of enter
tainmfnt furnished by the lecture course
committee. Gen. Gordon's lecture on
"rhe Last Days of the Confederacy," is
national in its fame, and no one should
miss this rare opportunity to hear it
Dec. 4th is the date.
The Slaton Jupilee Singers played tc
good audience at the court house las
Saturday evening, and the entertainment
gave very general satisfaction. The mex
attraction will be the lecture-"I asst Days
of the Coniederacy"-by Gen. John b
Gordon, who generally commands 5000 3
night for his services. People who have
heard Gen. Gordon's lecture pronounce
it among the best they have ever listened
TO. 1t is in no sense political or section.
al lecture, but clear and lucid statement
Of facts concerning a subject which is o
great interest to the people Of the whole
country.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13

Allow me to say a few words in praise
of Chamberlan's Caugh Remedy. ] had
a very severe cough and cold and feared
1 would get pneumonia, but after aking
the second dose of this medicine | felt
better, three bottles of it cured my cold
and the pains in my chest disappeared
entirely. am most respectfully yours
for health, Ralph s. Meyers, 64-Thirty-
seventh ST., Wheeling, w. va. Sold by
Killmer Bros, Tionesta, w. G. wilkins,
West Hickory, Pa.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13
Saw Mil for Sale.

We have at our mill below Warren one
complete saw mill, equipped with Sterns'
spring sets, and another lighter mill
which we will dispose of at very
reasonable rate. Anyone desiring t.
purchase mill will do well to call and
examine them or address us either at
Warren or Tionesta.
If. WARREN LUMBER COMPANY.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1901-11-13

White lead is necessary part of good
paint; but white lead alo1e begins to
chalk or powder off, sometimes the first
summer, always the second. Zinc added
increases its strength and prolongs its
life. Devoe lead and zinc is your paint,
Sold by J. ID. Davis.