The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1901-03-22
"CALADONY" HAS SOMETHING TO
SAY.

near mr.. EuUOT:-i WuS powerful
disappointed about the Prize Vehickle
not being ruboer tire, FUR | felt like
If | was the lucky winner that my
name like that of Mr.. Grant Court
rights would go ringing down the
countless ages as being the first lady
bycickle automobile rider In town.
But, alas! alack! life Is nothing
but mass OF disappOi1tments,
and my hopes are now lying covered
in dust, while somebody's raven Is
crOaking "Never-mOre, Never
more" Still Mr.. Editor don't you
think hit would be u sensible idee 70
offer horse while you are at hit?
Being as We cant blow up the tires |
don't see how we can run the W.
hlckle. However don't get uppish
about the matter aud accuse US of
being like the fellow was by the
corn being shelled, fur twiXt yuG and
me | hav had powerful hard time
cauvassing fur that thar vehIckle Of
yours. Pears like | hav met every
different character Of mankind
under the sun, and in strict con.
fiIent to you Will say that | have
even met the man Billie Sake.
spear writ about. | dis remember
eX lctly what he said, bat hit was
something erbout being called
m IN because God made nm, or was
hit becase he wore high ha? My
memory is failing me powerful fast
of late years, and | am afraid
the time is approaching when will
even furgit the memory Of my
saInted Likely All, me! | met
but few likes in my canvass aud /
reckon hit wus5 er blessing that |
diien't fur hit might have uniC me
fur my work. One man in particu-
Iarly called to my nina thoughts OF
the dear d departed, and that wus the
figetty man. The man who would
stand first on one foot then on the
other, and Judging by his looks,
would have willingly give one hand
to have kuOWn what to have done
with the other one, then he would
"hem a haw,' and finally splitter
out well, really but | waited to
hear no more for like the burial of
Sir J ohm Moore, 1--WE left him alone
in his glory" fur sot hit down right
| thar that that man wuseu't a going
to vote fur me, and he diden't. Now
don't think | have got anything
| against the men fur | met some
/ mighty fine ones, mon too that
could smile wheather they had any
thing to smile at or not and that's the
kind OF a man like. Thar is no
arthly us of a man making com
plete bear of himself. He aught to
smile and look pleasant never mind
the peevish wife and fretful children
at home; business worries and an
faithful sweethearts don't cOunt, but
smiles does, so be certain and smile,
and when er candidate asks you for
your vote s-m-i.l-e harder than ever,
fur if hit should turn into horrible
grin nine times out Of ten the candi
date would turn off and leave you.
And with one accord they began
to make excuses" Verify, veril,
the Scriptures are fulfilled in the life
of eT candidate. Now one man be-
gan to make excuses gin | asked him
fur his vote; said he wus sorry he
could not support me in the coming
campaign, like | asked fur his sup
port. | only wanted his vote, but |
reckon he thought | wus er going to
faint if | wus beat in the campaign,
and wus wanting somebody to sup
port me; but if | am beat I'll give
uim to understand that | don't want
any p e-sk-e-y man to support
me. I'm self-supporting, [ am. Bat
laws mercy! | am not er going to
say word agin anybody, becase hit
might make erginst me in the cleo
LlOn.
Agin, found some powerful nice
men in this, the queen city of the
Duck men, too, that voted fur
"Caladony," and "Caladony" feels
kinder proud of her voters, too. A:
fur the ladies, they have bin every
thing that WIS nice and sweet, Law
me! From that remark anybody
would take me to be widower, tui
that is Jest the way they talk erboui
the women, the only difference being
that they don't mean it, and | do
Yes everybody has been kind anC
nice to "CaIadony, and even if she
should come out last in the race, she
will ever hold her voters in kindly
remembrance. Now to them thai
has not voted | extend the inverta
ton. Don't say | have never asked
you, fur | have. Come ahead, full
this may be the last chance yoU
will ever have to vote fur "CAla
dony Leatherhead," fur a candidate
life is no "fiowery bed of ease" anC
after this I may furever sink into
Oblivion.
Now, Mr.. Editor, in conclusicn
Will you kindly ask Mr.. Thomas if I
a leatherhead- woman would do "a
well as red headed one? Thar i:
very little difference, If any between
the two, and as the red headed one i
not to be found offer my self as e
substitute.
Goodbye, Mr.. Editor, and be Ger
tain to take the horse into your con
siderations. Yours til deth,
"CALADONY LEATHERHEAD.'