Evening star., 1901-02-16
NEWS AT SECOND HAND

It sometimes happens that Mrs. Aytis
strest goes to the front door and corrals tn
| evening paper before Mr.. Aythstreet oar
| get hold Of It Now, no living man likei
| to get his news out Of the paper at second
hand. A man likes to read his own news
However, Mr.. Aythstreet Is mild man
| and when Mrs. Aythstreet sits down and
crumples the paper and gets it all twisted
| out of shape and makes 1t look, before hs
! gets hold Of II, like paper that has beer
under carpet for couple Of years, here
| is the sort Of summary that she gives him
Of the days news:
"Well. declare, that Kittie olegirrs go.
Ing to be married at last-heres the an
nouncement Of the engagement. Um-m-
well, don't know the mans name, but hi
must want wife pretty badl Why, Kit
Tie forty, If she's day. She used to go to
sGnooI with me In Georgetown, and she was
always three or four years older than ]
was; believe she says she's twenty-ssven!
wen, II m glad Kittie's finally off the shelf
anyway! She has faded dreadfully in the
t. tasa tnree years, but that old mother Of
ners Is such termagant, don't wonder,
! IA sure! Goodness gracious, sakes alive,
mere the announcement of Alice Itty-
liins marriage, and she's nothing but q
cnIIu; She was married in Alexandria four
.,io1u rmon,hS ago, II seems-um-m. Well, well,
wei! wen You remember her, don't you? Perky
Htlle thing that tucked her hair up when
Sne s,ae, was "a only only about twelve years old. and
USED 10 nirt with all the boys in that old
nelg gnnorhood we lived in on the Hill? Dc
you Know, l always thought she'd run off
some day and get married?
+h,s MY, old MI Longdays is dead! Died
lniS morning. Well, he was a good old
soul, put stingy! My, what a stingy man
ne was! Those two unmarried damehters
Oh tbrn ms haven't had rag to their backs for
Ihree years to my certain KNOWLEDGE! But
s'pose they'll come in for a lot of money
now, out they're so painfully homely that
WONDER what the old man died of? Last
haa1th,, taane saw him he looked as ruddy and
neditny as could be. l ALWAYS susnectad
that the only indulgence the old man al
lowed low himself was his toddy, and a leetIe
700 much of that. Ny, but how the old
1olkS are dying off! e o'u
wen. Joshua Aythstreet, who do vo,,
lnlnk mas applied for divorce now? You
- Gouion guess In a hundred years, Minnie
8Ioucnerlno! HI Well, of all things in this life
fron, g nerve Ii,s. or her. applying for divorce
cruelty wien everybody knows that he
was the worst abused man that ever lived
ny, sne wouldn't get up out of bed to see
W. ,iaat +; tLe man got his breakfast-she'd Just
lie IN bed until 10 or II o'clock in the morn
ing and have the maid bring her breakfast
10 her, and poor Jim 'ud have to eat what
the maid fixed for him and eat all alone
Ani alid, mercy on us, what a dirty house!
wen, how on earth she expects 70 get a
uiVorce from Jim Sloucherino on the ground
oI cruelty is more than I can tell. for
eVerybody's felt sorry for Jim ever since
ne married her! Well. all I've got to say
Is, II Jim Sloucherino knew some th;ngs
that know-well-um-m
oo on-m-blg sale of spring silks tomorrow
-o9 cents for just the seIf-same stuff that
s,,1a you nave to pay s349 yard for when the
regular season opens Joshua T nead a
new foulard. and I'm going down tomorrow
and pick up one of these bargains, Now.
don't shake your head and say that Won
maven the money, because L know you
lard, so there, now
I'm Must have been a grand ball.
, .nat, at the embassy last night-'ud love
10 We seen what they had on. If you'd only
ship, Joshua and go out west somewhere
ana make lot of money 1 wouldn't have
10 be Just Wishing-just wishing-to see
What they have on at these grand affairs,
and you know it! My, N.Y. why will men
hang on to those old government clerkshtps-
I'd like to know?
"Um-m. Resolutions about Cuba-don.t
care Tor that. It's wonder the papers
go on printing stuff about Cuba long after
the wars over and done with Filipinos
surrendering their arms-why. I thought
the lighting was over down there, Joshua
and that we had members of Congress from
the Philippines-oh, that was Hawaii was
it? Well, what's the difference? Aren't
they all the same? Thousands of miles
apart-now, you know you are only testing!
They're just like the Thousand Islands, and
you know they are! Um-m Mrs. Nation
smashes another saloon-welI. I lust think
she does perfectly right. so I do! 1 think
she's just grand! If it wasn't for these
nasty saloons men 'ud stay home with
their wives once in a while. Um-m River
and harbor bill-now, who in the wide
world cares a snap about the river and
harbor bill," &C., &C.
And then when the suffering Mr.. Ayth-
street finally gets hold of the newspaper it
seems about as fresh and interesting to him
as the old dog scared fourth reader with
the calico cover, that he used to declaim
from in school,