The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-07-13
ADDS nc asru Fables.

ton who delighted TO tell his Wife !
all about the Peculariies and ,
Weaknesses OF Women. He wa,
the Kind that would wait until he
had an Audience aud then he would
spring Good One on the Batter
Half For example, he thought it
WAS great Sport TO tell how she
would do a Sherdan's Ride TO
Department Store, just as il she was
going to sweep the shelves, and
after she got tbere she would have
Tracy the Blonde show her all the
Spring Importatiops, after which
abe would buy Dimity fore cents
End about a Nickel's worth Fl Veil
ling and have them delivered on
Rash Order. She was regular
Hawk ON Spotting Bargain Sales,
and'the Monologue Artist that lived
with her used to tell his Friends
that she would, claw her way into
Jam Of Women and scrap like an
Amazon to capture one OF the
marked down Remnants. AZ t-
The Husband lectured her about
chasing around from Store to Store,
annoying the Statesmen, blocking up
the Aisles, paving all kinds OF Elk
pensive Materials and criicising the
Merchandise, finally ducking away
without even showing the Color Of
her Money. He said a Woman
would take one of these understood
valises containing aPowder Puff,
Chew OF Gum, 6 owe Fastener,
Clipping that told how to cure
Sun Burn and just enough Car Fare
TO land her back Home again and
/ she would go out and do more jim
ming and Four-Flushiug than a
Man would do if he was going to
j buy House and Lot. He said that
when he wanted Hat or Necktie
or any old Thing be stalked right
into the Place and said to the Man,
"Gi'aime ithat," without. any Ifs,
4 Ands or Butts, and handed over the
Simoleons. He said there was no
need of giving Parade and making
asSlot of,Grand- Stand Plays every
time one went out to purchase O
few Necessities of Life. He said
that on Pleasant Day Gang of
\ Women could throw out more
Flounces and stop more Cars and
use up more FlooraW for the
Amount OF Coin they put into cir
culation than any one he ever saw.
One Day in the early Summer he
came home ahead Of his Wife. He
always claimed that when a Woman
went out on a Shopping Spree she
made it Point to loaf Down Town
until about $50 30 that she could
elbow into the Evening Rush and
compel some hollow-eyed Man to
clutch strap all the way home.
4 When she appeared it was evident
that she had been gallivanting
through the Scrimmage. Her Sky.
Piece had List to the Starboard,
her frizzes had straightened out on
her and the Belt Buckle was scroug-
ed around until it had her facing
sideways. Here was a Grand Open
ing for the Humorous Husband, 80
he fell back on his Stock Joke
"And what has little Angel Face
been running down todayi" he ask
ed. "Did Sunshine buy q Paper Of
Pins or a nice Eleven Cent Coil OF
Black Braid7"
"Nit!" she replied, stopping short
and turning the Mackerel Eye on
2 him. "You have iolted me SO often
that l have turned over a New
Leaf | knew how you hated to
have me- price Goods and then push
them back, so today nothing went
back. have bought six Embroid-
cred Shirt Waists, a Lace Parasol,
twenty two Yards OF Silkalorum
I THAT looks like Silk and wears bet
ter and lot of Articles that you
wouldn't know what they we're if |
told you the Names. Your little
Bird didn't make any Water Haul