Daily camera., 1901-08-17

| TUESDAY, feD. o.-lt Ii all over,
and l have been found guilty and
sentenced to be hanged. The curious
| thing about it Is that do not feel 50
very gloomy about it. The suspense be-
| fore the verdict was n great deal more
narrowing than the certainty of the
| scaffold seems to be. Perhaps it is be-
cause am stunned by the hopelessuess
| Of the situation and tired out by the
| long weeks of excitement and worry.
| Anyway, | know that tonight do not
| fear the death that has been decreed.
Most certainly do not regret the
act which has brought me to this cell,
| glory In it. and would do it again to-
morrow under the same circum-
| stances. Iwant to set that down here.
SO that all of my friends and any 9th
ers who are curious enough to read
this diary may know after am gone
that l did not consider myself GRIM
! inal.
My lawyer tells me that my friends
are making strong efforts to have the
governor interccde, and that he has
| promised to see me. But II will DO no
good. l killed Philip Sherry-there is
NO question about that. They proved
| IL plainly enough at the trial, in spite
of my lawyers most skillful efforts.
| Even If they hadn't, it would have been
| none the less true. But none of them
know why did it-only one-and they
never will know. Torture could not
drag II from me. She knows, and am
content. No, will tell nobody. l will
not even tell the governor.
Wednesday, Feb. 6.-Strange things
have happened to-day. saw the gov
ernor. broke my promise to my
self that would no; tell why killed
Philip Sherry, and the governor has
pardoned me. They told me that he
was a cheap politician who could not
be reached except by Doodle. But
know he is most masterful man, who
knows all the fountains and impulses
OF human action and passion, and that
be has heart that understands and
beats in harmony with his fellow men.
| He was not al all the sort Of look
ing gan I expected to see. His face
| impressed me as being type of the
| pioneers. the men who have felled the
forests and reclaimed the wilderness.
| He does not look the scholar nor the
orator, although he surely must be an
impressive speaker. Judging from his
| logical habits of thought and his mas
terfui use of the English language. l
think il was his eyes which made the
greatest impression on me. They
were the most peculiar eyes l ever
saw. They seemed to turn inward and
be communing with his inner con-
sciousness most OF the time. But every
now and then be would give me a
glance so sharp and penetrating tina.
l fel, he was looking into my very soul.
| I entered the room sulky and un-
reconciled with my fate. The govern
or. sitting sprawled out in his chair,
loose -jointed. looking more the back
woodsman than the statesman, his
eyes dulled with that peculiar intro
spection. He asked me number of
commonplace questions, which l al
| sWCIcu WIN VA SohtSlRt
and doggedness.
Suddenly Strengthening himself up
and fixing on me glance so sharp and
penetrating. and At the same time so
commanding as to make me involun-
tarily rise from my chair, he fred at
me volley of questions so pointed, so
comprehensive. so searching. that it
seemed to me he was scanning my in
nermost consciousness.
Before l realized it was pouring
out the most sacred secrets of my soul
to this man who but moment before
whom l had been taught to regard
only In the Light Of coarse and self
ish politician. Something he said
stung my pride, and his personality
won my conhde nce-all so artfully and
so quickly that 1 involuntariIy re-
sponded.
Listen to me, sir" ! cried, my fists
clenching, while l felt the veins stand
out on my neck. even as had felt them
stand out on that day when killed
Philip Sherry, u am not a criminal,
am not bad man. do not believe my
tendencies are vicious. God knows 1
have an awful temper. But upon the
memory Of my mother, believe that
temper has never been aroused. except
upon just provocation or by some act
Of injustice or brutality.
II remember well the hrst time I
ever realized I had a temper 1t was
the same time also that realized
was an independent personality. was
a peculiar boy, sensitive. lonely and
MISUNDERSTANDING the Other
boys because their badgering ways
played upon al my supersensitive
nerves.
"Mx mother. God bless her. who
would have gone to the rack or tho
stake to save me . moments pain. un-
consciously emphasized the terrors of
my situation by keeping me in long
curls and babyish attire long after the
other boys Of my age were habited
like miniature men. You can imagine
the humiliation to which / was sub
jected, even had not been cursed with
supersensitive nerves.
But underneath all my bashful-
ness I had the temper Of demon.
The first time l discovered 1t I was
frightened nearly to death. 1t was
still In the period of my long curls
and girlish costumes.
"A big fellow who delighted in bully
ing, and who had made it his especial
delight to torment me because of my
e6eminate appearance and bashful
manner, brought his prosecutions to
climax by leading crowd OF
schoolmates to catch me, throw me
down and pile on top of me. I was
severely hurt, but my physical in
juries were insignificant compared
with the humiliation. And as lay,
ground into the earth under that
wriggling mass of boys, the hot blood
surged through my head carrying
with it sense of courage, and bit
ter hatred which had never guessed
was capable of possessing.