davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

Misery, because misery loves company and he loved the Goo Goo circus company so much that he used to go around and pull out all the stakes after each performance. The oldest thing about Misery, however, was the color of his hide. It was jet black; so black. in fact, that when we stood him be- fore the tent at night on exhibition, every body that came along bumped into him. They couldn't distinguish him from the ciouded skies, you see. Why, do you know, his huge sides were full of dents where the people had bumped into him.
 '.To give you better idea of how black be was. one day when the circus was parad- ing through little town, big Misery, who usually logged along behind, stopped ab- ruptly and seated himself In front of the Home for the Partial Blind to rest. The other paraders passed right on, and few minutes later, when the matron looked out of her window and saw the black mass on the sidewalk she quickly hollered down to the janitor: 'Mephistoe, the ten tons of coal we ordered last week are out in front of the house. Get shovel and bring It in.' The poor, half-blind janitor did as directed, and. getting outside, he was about to dig his shovel into the black heap, when Some
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

Tiger vowed that he would be revenged on MT. Monkey and all his family, and the very next day he caught old Grandmother Bab- oon and ate her. A few days later he caught old Uncle Orang Outang and ate him. Then MT. Monkey began to get fright ened, for none of his family could go on the ground without running the risk of being caught and eaten, for Mir. Tiger was just the color of the long grass, so the Monkeys could not see him when he wanted to lie still and hide. They were very careful, but in day or so Cousin Chimpanzee was caught and eaten by Mir. Tiger. That was very sad but when MT. Monkeys nephew, MT. Ape, met the same fate the whole family decided that something must be done. They set traps for Mir. Tiger, but he was too cunning to get into them. They poisoned fruit and nuts and put them where he could see them, hoping to ll-him in that way, but MT. Tiger did not like fruit and nuts. He much preferred nice, fat monkeys.
 One day the whole family ran at him at once, hoping to frighten him, so that he would run away and not come back; but MT. Tiger picked out the fattest of the lot and ate him. MT. Monkey was getting pretty dearly paid for his little joke on MT.
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

Stop crowding and pushing, little ones, and I will tell you what the jolly jungle jlngler told the Laughing Hyena.
 As you all know Google lived in cave on the east bank of the Oronocoa, and every morning he would go down to the river for his ablution. Did he ever catch any? My boy, ablution does not mean fish)
 Well, one morning while old Google was on his way from the waters edge, he was met by the Laughing Hyena, who told the old jingo many amusing things on the way. Reaching the cave, the Hyena was about to leave, when Google grabbed him by the tail and roughly pulled him back.
 "Stay minute, Quizzical Quadruped," shouted the jingo, land I'll tell you How the Elephant Got His Flapjack Auricles.'
 The Laughing Hyena was always ready to hear good story and consented to stay. So they both sat down before the cave and Google began:
 Tn 1879, 9,or whereabouts, the Goo Goo circus had the largest and heaviest elephant In captivity or out of captivity. He was almost as big as our main tent and weighed about as much as a ferryboat. We called him
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

and came down to have talk and hear the news. After they had gossiped awhile MT. Tiger asked MT. Monkey if he would please teach him to climb.
 "It is the easiest thing in the world" said Mir. Monkey. "I will be glad to teach you If you will do just exactly as say"
 'I will promise to do anything you tell me-" replied MT. Tiger, If you will only teach me to hang by my tail.'
 ..Then come with me-" said Mir. Monkey. They went to the river nearby, and MT. Monkey found place where the trees grew far out over the water, so that their branches touched, making bridge for the monkey from bank 10 bank.
 "Now climb up the tree with me and will give you your first lesson," said Mir. Monkey. MT. Monkey took MT. Tiger up the very largest tree of the lot and kept making him climb higher and higher, until Mir. Tiger began to get frightened.
 When are you going to teach me to hang
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

night of August 10, 1880, the old elephant got toothache. And when an elephant. has a toothache 1t Is best to keep out of his reach, Tor It seems to affect him from the trunk of his tail to the tail of his trunk. He swings his trunk as though it was golf stick, and strikes at anything that comes in his way. Old Misery was ferocious when his last tooth ached. He was so unruly that when children visited the circus and shot marbles up his trunk, he would below something that sounded like Fore, and then swing his trunk wildly, sending few of them up to his next hole-the grave, perhaps.
 'Now, the Mind Readers suggested that the Living Skeleton take lantern and climb up through the elephants trunk into his mouth and find the root of the evil. But the Living Skeleton said he didn't care about travelling via a trunk line, and accordingly the poor pachyderm had to suffer. However, the Un- conquerable Cowboy lassoed tho elephants trunk and held it, while the Strong Man pried open the huge mouth. Then, of course, the Living Skeleton looked in and found the aching tooth, with cavity in it. So he hol
The age-herald., 1901-08-19
WHO DIOGENES LOOKED FOR:
 OR, THE GREEDY BANK.

the milk money and slipped out to get 1t changed into pennies. While she was gone Mir. Diogenes tried to break the bank open with the poker, but he only broke the poker. Then Mrs. Diogenes came back and he went out in a hurry. MT. Diogenes put 122 pennies into the bank and when 1t wouldn't open she called it "a mean old cheat" and tried to break it open with the hatchet but she only broke the hatehet. Then MT. Diogenes came back and put 11S pennies into the bank. It would not open then, and he went out again with his shoulderblades hunched up above his ears. Mrs. Diogenes said some things about that kind of bank, and then she went out to give her husband a piece or her mind about breaking the poker.
 Bucephalus had been watching his par ents all this time and as soon as they had both gone out he thought of a brilliant plan. He stuffed five suspender buttons In the slot of the bank, gave 1t shake, A d 1t opened at once! He stood almost .Sh bound look ing at 995 pennies and five fuspender but tons! He looked up and saw his parents looking at him through ne front windows. He hugged the bank to his breast and ran out of the back door just as they bumped their heads together getting through the front door. His parents ran after him, but he got away and reached the ball grounds in safety.
 An hour later MT. Diogenes, walking about in front of the grandstand, saw man hold ing the iron bank.
 ''Where did you get that, my friend?' he asked.
 q bought it from little boy for dollar" replied the man. T will ell 1t to you for two dollars if you want it."
 "Done!" cried MT. Diogenes. My friend, you are an honest man." He took the bank and the man went off at once. MT. Diogenes grinned to himself and shook the bank to hear the 995 pennies jingle but not jingle! The bank was empty! He started looking for that man at once, but he could not find him.. When it grew dark he got lantern and kept on looking for him, but although he searched all night, the man was nowhere to be found. He looked for the man day and night for several years, and when anyone asked him for whom he was locking he said, An honest man," for he was ashamed to tell the story of how he bought back Bucephalus' bank for two dollars, expect ing to find 995 pennies in it.
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

ped his tall around the branch and hung his whole weight by 1t. Of course, he could not hold on like MT. Monkey, but immedi- ately fell out of the tree, landing right upon the little island in the middle of the water. II believe you let me fall on purpose" he cried shaking his fist at MT. Monkey, who only laughed at him and asked him to come up and try again.
 MT. Tiger was In fine fix; he could not swim, and he was so far from the shore that he could not jump across the water, which was too deep to wade. MT. Monkey called his relations, and they all made fun of Mir. Tiger and threw cocoanuts at him, which struck him on the head. It was all very unpleasant. He roared and tore around the island; but he had to stay there for long time, with the monkeys making fun of him all the while. At last MT. Elephant came down to the river for a drink, and as he and Mir. Tiger were great friends, he carried MT. Tiger to the river bank on his back. MT.
The age-herald., 1901-08-19
THE STORY OF
 A BLACK KITTEN.
~%@ sss; @a~

"Pir, meaow! I am kitten, as everyone knows. l have a mistress; she Is not vet three years old; and she claims me as her own. And worst of all, she dresses me up ih dolls clothes and pushes me around the floor. Once hand organ stopped in front of our house. The next day I was asleep on the floor, when suddenly she seized my tail and turned my poor tail around and around, sing. ing hand organ, hand organr People call me mischief sometimes. wonder what my mistress is. l ought to be happy and will try. So good-by now. must go and wash my face"
The age-herald., 1901-08-19
WHY MR. TIGER HAS STRIPES ON HIS BACK.
--=oE1=--
By Raymond Fuller Ayers.

by my tail?' he asked at length
 As soon as we get little higher" said MT. Monkey. 'The limbs are too large here for you. to begin on, but they are smaller higher up." So they went to the very top of the tree, and then began to go out on the limbs, until they were right over little island which was In the middle of the river.
 Now wrap your tail round this llmb," said MT. Monkey, "and hang your whole weight on it.
 ''I am afraid I will fall," said MT. Tiger. q would rather begin near the ground, so that I won't hurt myself so much if I should tumble''
 You promised to do exactly as l sald,". replied Mir. Monkey. Do as tell you and you will be all right. If you should start to fall I will catch you besides, if you don't hang by your tail at once will push you off the limb and you will fall anyhow" Mir. Tiger was awfully frightened but he wrap
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

Of course you have al heard of old Di- ogenes, who used to go about with lantern looking for an honest man. Every one who has studied arithmetic knows that, but very few people know how he came to do ft in the first place. Well, this is how it happened:
 Little Bucephalus Diogenes had q bank. This bank was built so as to hold just a bushel of pennies and to hold them allvery tight, indeed, until it was full to the top. Then it would open to reveal to the gloating eye Of Its proud and happy owner pile of , coin quite sufficient to buy a bull pup, four pink rabbits sick canary, rope-haired doll, jackknife, sewing set for grandma, a blue ribbon, secondhand goat carriage and a, grandstand seat at the ball game It was a very sulky bank, and 1t would not listen to reason at all, but whenever Bu- ccphalus wanted to get some pennies out of 1t just turned up It's nose and would not give up single one, even when he shook it. 90 hard that the pennies rattled together un- til their dates almost wore off. Bucephalus mad put in enough pennies to fill half of the bank before he found this out, and so, of course, he had to keep on putting them, In so as to fill 1t, or else he would have been out all he had put in the banks greedy slot
 He worked every holiday and ran errands until he wore out nine pairs of sandals try ing to earn enough pennies to satisfy that unreasonable bank. At last he learned enough or the rnulIlp11catlon taDle 10 ngufe out that it would take him one year five months and seven days to earn enough pen nies; then he gave up trying. You see, boys came so cheap in those days that he could only earn two pennies week, no matter how. hard he tried.
 One day the crack baseball team Athens Phalanxans'' were to play the champion team of Rome, the "Practorian Centurions.' Bucephalus was wild to see the game, but the admission price was away beyond his pocketbook unless he could get that bank open. He spoke of 1t at lunch, and his par ents scolded him severely.
 "The very idea!' said Mrs. Diogenes, his mother. You ought to have your ears boxed for wanting to spend money in that way"
 Quite true, my love-" said MT. Dlogenes. You can never get into the Senate if you are so extravagant Buceph.' Bueephalus said he only wanted to get into the ball grounds, and his parents each winked Ut themselves and said nothing.
 Directly after lunch Mrs. Diogenes took
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

thing Terrible grahed him between Genesis and Revelations and tossed him up toward the Indigo Hence. The elephant with intelli- gence watched the man until he had passed out of sight, md then hurried after the parade. While the man was still in the air, however, the real coal was brought, and just as it was dumped and the men had left the poor janitor landed on the heap. Sliding down, he rushed into the house like mad man, saying d. (and other things that comps. usually set up just as the type gives out) The matron, abashed at his conduct, asked If he had seen one of his creditors, but he only grumbled that the next time she wanted him to shovel mule legs or chunks of dynamite she had better get his mother in-law to do it'
 But you promised to tell me How the Elephant Got His Flapjack Auricles, inter rupted the Laughing Hyena, not interested in anything about Human Beings.
 ''So did, and I will,'' replied Google. ''I did not mention before that. Misery had very thick, short ears, and, in fact, all ele- plants had the same kind of ears at that time. also forgot to tell you that on the
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

Tiger, and the whole family blamed him for being the cause of their misfortunes. He told them that it was their own fault, for If they had not thrown cocoanuts at MT. Tiger. and made all kinds of fun of him, he would not have bothered them. At last they were at their wits end. Mir. Parrot offered to paint stripes on Mir Tigers back, so the Monkeys could see him when he lay in the grass. The Monkeys were oyerjoyed at this. So one day, while MT. Tiger was asleep. MT. Parrot painted great black stripes on his back, and all Tigers wear them to this day. MT. Tiger still eats Monkeys when he can catch them; but now they can always see him in the grass.
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

wide enough apart for one 10 rest on each rail. Suddenly the weird round of 'Choo choo' was heard, and the bad animals nudged each other and smiled.
 ''The elephant, however, mistook the sound for the call of a cuckoo with a hare lip, and before he could say John Doe the train had run over his ears, up his huge back, jumped off his tail, landed on the track again and flew on its way without losing minute of its schedule time. The animals shook with fear when the elephant looked up and smiled; but their fear soon vanished and they all smiled when they saw that Mlsery's ears, instead of being thick and short, were as flat as big and as round as pancakes. The train had run over them nd hattened them out, but the sudden shock had cured his aching tooth, and he was better and friendlier ever afterward."
 The Hyena did not wait until Google had told him the moral: Don't put your ears where they're not wanted.
 F. P. pITZER.
The age-herald., 1901-08-19
Copyright, 1901, by R. H. Russell.)

Copyright, 1901, by R. II. Russell)
 One day as Mir. Tiger was walking along through the jungle in the southern part of Animal Land he saw MT. Monkey swinging along among the branches of the trees over head. Mir. Monkey could climb among the branches almost as fast as MT. Tiger could run on the ground, for when ever hands and feet were both busy grasping limbs or reaching out for a new hold he could catch a branch with his long tail and hold on by 1t just as If 1t was another hand. How nice 1t must be- thought MT. Tiger, ''to go flying around in the treetops like that! The air must be nice and cool up there, too, for there is always a breeze above the ground. wish could learn to climb easily and swiftly, like Mir. Monkey, instead of having to stick my claws in the bark and creep slowly, as do now"
 After a while Mir. Monkey saw MT. Tiger
The age-herald., 1901-08-19

lered to the Bearded Lady to bring him Il bale of cotton She shouted back that they only had one bale, and the Fat Lady from Chicago needed that; she had an earache So they were disappointed again, and this time left the elephant to suffer his own name.
 Now, the other quadrupeds of the circus did not like Misery, and the Zebra suggested that Baboon go and tell the suffering ele- plant that the quickest way to cure tooth ache was to lay your ear on a cold railroad track. All the circus animals thought this a good Idea, and the Balloon immediately went and told Misery, who, almost frenzied with excruciatiug pain (no, my girl, excru- ciating does not mean .windowD was will ing to do anything. So they went quietly out of the tent and ran down to the railroad The elephant, thinking that if he laid both ears on the track he would be cured just so much sooner, foollshly planted himself in the middle of the track put his head down between the two rails and his ears were just
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-09-25

The convention of the horse swap
pers of southwest Georgia which The
NEWS of the 18th inst. announced
would assemble in Dawson on October
II has attracted general attention. The
coming convention has been freely ad-
vertised by the newspapers OF this sec
ton. and the attendance promises TO
be large.
Those who have never been present
on one of these occasions should not
fail to attend the coming one. For
genuine interest to the onlooker few
things eclipse 1t. The genuine horse
swapper is a distinct and characters
tic type of our American citizenry. His
exneriences have been made the theme
of many a novel, and these experiences
never fail to hold the attentlon OF the
reader. The barterer in horse flesh
pursues his chosen avOcat1on with
much of the same delight that causes
the lover Of the terpsichorean art to
thread the mazes of waltz and two
step.
It is said that occasionally follower
of the trade is apt to have his yeraclty
slightly Influenced by continuous oper'
ations in the markets. How true such
an assertion may be it is not for a lay
man to say. However, little story
heard somewhere several years ago,
will serve to illustrate the point a
horse snapper disposed OF nag 10 an
other horse snapper, claiming 1t to be
as ssound as a gold dollar" and this
was apparently true; but week after
wards the new owner discovered hid
den defect, and endeavored to trade 1t
hack to owner number one. That gen.
tleman promptly declared his honest
conviction that the animal WASH
worth ten dollars.
uBut when you traded her to me you
said she wasn't worth red less than
seventy-fve,' . objected the dissatisfied
one.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-09-25
MANY HORSE SWAPPERS COMING.
The Convention Held in Dawson October 18th
Promises to Be Largely Attended.

"Let me tell you, old friend, came
the prompt reply, "when 1 told you
that [ was trying devilish hard to get
rid of the horse" His 'old friend"
saw the delicate point aud considerable
ly desisted from further argument
During a conversation in a crowd of
the trading gentry one quoted the ia
miliar old saw, money makes the
mare 90, and his statement was i'm
mediately challenged by another, not
as we'll read, perhaps, but no whit less
practical. THAT mout be true il scme
cases" said he, "but got an. ole mare
here what no amount er money
wouldn't make bulge out of err jog, not
even if twas all the wealth of John
Jacob Gould or Jay ROCKEFELLER aud all
the rest err them rich jays. Nothin'l IL
do the business 'cept a crackeyjack
good rawhide."
IT'S said that once upon a time a
horseman of this variety amassed con-
siderable money and retired. AS he
scrubbed an alarminply bad fist he
thoughtfully purchased a typewriter,
and one day when two of his friends
called he explained in very knowing
manner the mechanism of the ma
chine. Then turning to one of them
he said "Now. jim, I'm going to
write you a little note to come and
spend the day with me tomorrow. TO
tice how fast work the blamed thing"
And, inserting piece of paper, he at
tackled the defenseless machine with
all fingers of both hands. while his
feet kept nervous time on the floor.
When ne withdrew the paper and held
up his effort for admiration his two
friends read as follows
IDEAS *im:- l w2e6t 3d. ?ome &ve5
s45. xc1; (:rt day With ma -ompo,2S.
But there are plenty of jokes pub
lished in book form.
If you want to have a good time. at
tend the horse swappers convention IN
Dawson on October Il.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-09-25
BURDEN TO STATE.
Many Counties Draw More from
the Treasury Than They
Pay Into 1t.

When then the next general assem-
bly, meets Governor Gambler will pre-
sent some interesting facts to that
body relative to the amounts drawn by
certain counties of the state for the
maintenance of schools and pensions,
and the difference between the amount
drawn for these expenses and the
amount the state received for taxation
Special stress will be placed upon
those counties that are burden of ex-
pense upon the state.
A complete statement of each county
has been prepared for the governor re-
Gently by G. NJ Hitch secretary of the
executive department, showing the
amount each county received for
schools and for pensions, and also the
amount of taxation OF each county.
This statement presents some surpris-
ing figures and shows that some of the
counties of Georgia are receiving in
some instances more than twice as
much for these expenses as they pay
through the medium OF taxation into
the state treasury.
An illustration of how some of the
counties of the state rest as burden
from pecuniary stand point upon 9TH
err counties may be shown as follows:
M sriwether county received for PEN
sions and schools combined from the
state $50, 299.76. This county pays the
state this year through taxation the
gross sum of $l4, 35, or less than
half the amount received from the
state.
Terrell is one of the few counties
that paw more money into the treasur,
than is received in return for schools
and pensions.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-09-25

Miss Nettie Glider OF Experiment,
Ca. is LUCKY young woman; and it
appears that one or two Others there
are to be classed along with her. 1t
seems from a statement made in New
York prison by Charles Milton Leigh
ton that he was in matrimonial negoti-
ations with Miss Glider and expected
shortly To be married to her; and ''she
wasn't the only one in the same town,
the man added. Leighton, it seems, il
already much married man, and i
was by the long trail of wives that h'
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-09-25
MRS. W. z. T. BRIDGES is DEAD.
One of Cuthbert's Leading Christian
Women Passes Away.

Mrs. w. 4. T. Bridges, a sister-in.
law of Mr.. E. B. Bridges of this city,
died at her home in Cuthbert aiCer a
short illness. A husband and several
children SURVIVE her. She has long
been a member of the Baptist church,
and her christian life kept her Away
in the love and high esteem of those
with whom she was associated. Her
remains were carried to Bethel, Ran
dolph county for interment.