davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
VETERAN SUDDENLY EMPIRES.
Lafayette NJ. Garner, of LeMars, DIE,
While Carrying Wood,

LeNlars, Ia, Jan. 2.-Lafayette NJ
Garner suddenly died Monday morn
ing. He was carrying an armful of
wood into the kitchen of his home and
fell over. expiring in few minutes
His death was ascribed to affection of
the heart. He was a veteran of the
civil war. serving in the Sixth Wiscon-
sin infantry. He had lived in LeMars
for the past twenty years and was lat
terly engaged in the fruit growing bus
mess. He was a member of Mower
post, G. A. r., and the funeral will be
held under the auspices of the mem
hers.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
An but about a seventh part Of Afr

All but about seventh part of Afri-
ca Is included in the sphere of infu-
cnce" of one or another of the Euro
pean powers. The French lead off the
kist with the largest Sphere" This
includes 100000 square miles-which
Is about the size of Europe itself-out
of total of 100000. England, when
we count the Boer states. comes next
with 1000. Then Germany. Belf'um,
which has. the Congo Free State and
Porsugal follow in the order named.
s ,. however. having something a
l.ieele less than million square miles.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

~ fat patron of the drama in New
Pfork found all of the chairs uncom-
fortably small Accordingly he agreed
with the manager of his favorite the
hter to engage two seats for the Sat
Irday matinee regularly. This propo-
sition was accepted. and the money
has been regularly paid ever since One
large chair was provided near the
stage in place of two seats of the reg
ular size. AS the lessee as he might
re called, is usually to be found in his
Feat at every matinee, the arrange
ment has proved profitable.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Mr.. AYERS NOT DEAD.

Very NIucl, Alive aud Ont with n Letter
Telling How He Was Saved!
Minneapolis Mimi, Dec. 81, 19OO.-
(special.l Flew who knew how i'll Mr..
a. b. Ayers of this city had been with
Bright's Disease and Diabetes ever ex-
pected lie could live. Four doctors gave
him but three or four days to live. He
recovered through the prompt and CON
tinued use of a well-known remedy and
has given the following letter for pub
licatlon. 1t is dated at Bath, N. ",
where Mr.. Ayers now resides:
Soldiers and Sailors Home,
Rath
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Not Such a DARK World, After All.

Detroit Journal: A woman in tat
tered shawl rang the bell Of stately
mansion.
May die on your doorstep here?"
she asked, respectfully of the butler
who presently appeared.
No" was the brusque reply.
The woman was turning sadly away
when beautiful child. with golden
hair, cut in.
"Oh, papa!" cried the child. please
do let the woman die on the doorstep"
Very we'll" said the father. for he
could deny his little daughter moth
ing.
So the woman died on the doorstep.
feeling that the world was not alto.
Eether dark after all.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Commentinble Cant,o,

Judge: Foster-Curious affair about
that New York man that is going to
start out to discover the north pole.
Felton-How so?
Foster-Why, he delayed starting I'M
til the relief expedition was already or
the way.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
ASSASSIN is PUT TO DEATH
Man Who Killed Baron Won KetteIer,
German Ambassador, Be-
headed at Picking.

Picking Fan. a.-The man who killed tho
German minister, Won Kctteler. In June
last. was beheaded today in the presence
of large number of spectators.
A meeting of the foreign ministers will
to be held as soon as British Minister Sa-
tow. who is suffering from chills and
fever. has recovered sufficiently to be
present.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

Robert w. Emmons, who was can
tain OF the Harvard football eleven.
In 1884 and 1885. will be manager of the
Boston boat fer which the name Bos-
tonian mas already been suggested. It
has also been suggested that she he
manned entirely by Yale and Harvard
men who have had experience rs
Yachtsmen.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Non-Union.

Detroit Journal: The peasant was
much mortified to discover that the
goose had laid gold brick.
You don't belong to the Bricklayers'
union!" he exclaimed, sternly, and
killed the fowl without more ado.
This incident illustrates the strong ia
clination of the proletariat to stand to.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

New York Evening sun: A brighl
round something sbetween the cracks
OF the pavement caught the eyes of q
little girl, only to discover that it was
button. "Oh, mammal" she said. ~
almost found a penny"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

One of the recent inventions tried on
the British soldiers in South Africa is
rallied soldier beer 1t is a jelly made
from malt and hops and fermented. 1t
is said to make excellent beer and to
work equally Well in hot or cold ell
mates, the process being very simple,
and the military authorities have re-
ported favorably upon it.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

For more than thirty years Hiram
Baxter has been postmaster at Lee
suens, Mimi. and has given entire
satisfaction to the community, al
though during nearly all of that time
We has been blind. When mail is dis
tributed into the 120 boxes Mrs. Bax-
ter calls off the names and her hus-
bands wonderful memory can be de-
pended upon to recollect every letter
Or newspaper. Baxter also conducts a
small store and an inn
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

Cows. 1t appears, have most accom-
modating appeutes and digestions
When, in the COS. an Oxford COW was
credited with swallowing a mackin-
tosh. it drew from Osborn Gordon, teen
the we'll known witty censor of Christ
church, London. the expression q the
hope that its milk would now be wate.
proof
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
"None So Blind"

Philadelphia Press: Miss cutting-1
saw you In the car on your way homo
TO dinner last evening.
Mr.. Comfort-strange. didn't see
you.
Miss Cutting-Not at all. was stand
Ing just in front of where you We're sit
ting
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

A 13-year-old New York youth has
Just been arrested ard sentenced TO u
juvenile asylum there as a professional
gambler. When he appeared before
the magistrate he was logged out in
y that was the envy OF the sluMs.
mad on his person over $3.50 in gold
bills. which he confessed he had
quired from an original Investment
Jf rs cents in a crap game. and he was
rather proud of the achievement than
otherwise
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

Eight hundred songs would be good
record even for Methuselah, but Com
poser Henry Russell. who died recent
ly. in London, crowded that number
into eighty seven years. "a Life on the
Ocean Wave" is one of them.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
It Does.

Yonkers Statesman: Liquor makes
men talk. doesn't it? said the citizen.
Of shutting them up" said the police
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Tho Promise Of tho unprom,.,n~.

Indianapolis Press: ut Is compliment.
airy to have such a talented clergyman
accept 2 call to your. church, isn't it7'
called he fo cowe ne writes that he
our parish offers him such wide mis-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

A secret society called the Home
Makers has a large membership among
The foreigners in the mining regions of
PENNSYLVANIA. The purpose of the or
sanization is to provide and maintain
pleasant homes for its members and
those dependent upon them. and as
sossipy, careless wives and mothers
are held by them to be the cause of
majority of the unhappy. il-kept
homes and neglected children the So
riety believes Its members have right
to use every possible means to see that
their homes are not neglected. A menu
Der who corrects his wife by beating
her must do so only after all other
means to induce her to do her duty
have failed The society pays for the
defense of Its members when arrested
for wife beating. and In case of con-
Niction pays the fine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03

-, 8 she w.s..s.
II Dealer: Papa don't
Ink INJECTING very stout7''
The old Wan looked at the blooming
cheeks and the rounded figure Of his
only child.
Why, Yes" he: playfully said; II
guess Wen have totgetsa tackle to help
you up and down stairs"
Aud he chuckled at his own hunor.
Yes, papa. dear, said the lovely
girl: that's just what j want. Come
in. George. And then as the large but
isheepish young man lonnged heavily
from behind the partition. she added:
George was the star tackle on the
varsity eleven, daddy"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Loss WILL Be LARGE.

Fire Breaks Out ON Coal Dock 1t sheboy.
gan, Wis.
sheboygan, Wis. Jan. 2-Fire broke,
out this afternoon in the Relss Coal COM
pany dock. A general alarm has been
sent In. The department is working hard
5000 tons Of coal on the dock. The loss
will reach $4,000. = 80
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
No Revenue

Ye lazybones! with this rlme
"A grain Of truth yell find:
Who build air castles all the time.
VIII never raise the wind
-Philadelph1a Press
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03


On the occasion of reception to
Henry Clay by his Baltimore admirers.
trip down Chesapeake bay was given
and on the return trip game of
euchre was arranged. AS Clay was a
t.oted player. at all games of cards, the
local card champion, Billy Bryson, who
worshipped Clay. had the honor of be-
ing his partner. But poor Billy was so
sXercome that he repeatedly made the
-~sost absurd and unaccountable err
fors. Clay's temper rose rapidly, and
Ee rallied at Bryson in good set terms.
Finally the unfortunate man. brought
to bay replied: BY CAD. sir, if you
we're old Billy Bryson and had the
great Henry Clay for partner. sir,
think you should be excused for fall
ing to note The difference between a
cling of trumps and the right bower"
The involuntary compliment so pleased
Clay that he shouted with laughter
and was ever afterward q warm
friend OF the unfortunate player.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
lSigned) 4. E. AYERS.

Late OF Minneapolis, now at
Soldiers and Sailors Home, Bath. N. Y.
MIR. Ayers is only one of thousands OF
aged gentlemen who say that their
lives have been prolonged and their de-
Ginning years made worth living by the
use of Dodd's Kidney Pills.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-01-03
Wants pubuaua purii,ea.

Dubuque, Ia, Jan. AT the special
request of Archbishop Keane he was
visited by Mayor Berg and SIX mem
bers of the city council. The purpose
of the interview. as stated by the
archbishop, was to urge the city gov
ernme1rt to take strong measures for
the suppression of gambling, slot ma
chimes. houses Of ill-repute, and, in
fact, to suppress vice wherever found.
For his part, he said he intended to
make energetic war on these places.
A convicted bigamist of London gets
off easily-three days in Jail.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
N on Ar cfl Of
L he Seas

g. & s
When the Russian unfurls the blue
cross of ST. Andrew on its field of
milky white over the taffrail Of the
Ret'vzan, q few weeks hence, he will
ppssess the greatest batt1eship, in
man y respects, Of which any navy can
now boast. To find out If all this is
50, the Cramps, who created the yes
sci, are ready to take her to sea for
a pr eliminary trial, which promises to
be OF worldwide interest. II :r M H.
This ship, more than any other that
is even approaching completion, en-
bodies every development Of the mon
ster man-of--war which. had for its
first model Ericsson's tiny monitor,
and the cars officers, who have
watched her grow from the simple
center keel plate smile now and are
impatient to exhibit their prize to
naval Europe ~ ...~@-
A battleship of nearly $4,000 tons,
that can run as swiftly as an ordi-
nary accommodation train on a first
class railroad; that will house neary
SoO men, and which, at distance Of
ten or a dozen miles, can hurl 3,4OO
pounds of chilled steel and high ex-
plosive against an enemy from the
four great guns that peer out Of tur-
rets of steel. which resemble in shape
nothing so much as the skull of. an
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
He Sized ThemrIIn.

They met in the narrowest aisle of
the department store. They were both
very stout and Immediately traffic was
blocked in both directions. Their con-
versation, geographically reported.
was as follows: Why, Mrs. Jones,
how dye do?" How dye do, Mrs.
Smith? Who would have thought of
seeing your Yes; I haven't seen YOU
for ages We'll, why don't you come
up some time?" "Oh, it seems as
though + never go anywhere any
more" Yes, you always say that"
But, really, don't. Why don't you
come DOWN. i've been on the point
Of coming several times, but it always
seems as though something always
happens to prevent it, well, make
another. effort I'm just dying to have
a good, long talk with YOU YES; SO
am ], Us De come and see me- Il Will.
And you come up, too. YES; I viii. .
Nov, don't forget mo, I won't"
We'll, good by 'Good-by.'' Liars,
both of Them grunted red-haired
man, who had been trying to squeeze
through. They never expect to call on
each other, and they know il. ''''---Phila-
delphia Record. Ii Isl.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
Retvizan. Gree test OF
Battleships, just Completed

considered that the United States
government proving course off the
New England coast is only fifty knots
long and that Uncle Sans ships steam
it over twice to prove their merit the
difficulty OF having deep-sea room
enough to run a vessel twelve hours
on stretch and all the time at eight
cen knots an hour must be evident.
Builders Test Is Interesting.
But there is a way to overcome this
difficulty. The modern battleship is
nothing if not a piece of machinery,
ard machinery well geared, like figures
correctly totaled, never lie. So they
will run the Retvizan over the meas
ured course. and knowing, the exact
distance from mark to mark, will keep
record of the revolutions of the big
twin screws until the time comes when
carefully measured space is covered
exactly at the required speed.
Then the time will be ripe for the
main test, and for twelve hours the
ship will be forced onward over a
course laid anywhere in the sea that
gives the required area of deep water,
ana throughout the revolutions of the
propellers must average at least UP to
the turns that were found necessary
to make the contract speed.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
In the School of Work.

Charles A. Dana Of the New York
Sun, was a man Of extensive learning
and attached great Importance to col
lege training, but was quick to recog-
nize the value of the practical educa-
ton that a man of good parts may
pick up in this work-a-day world
outside of university walls. A young
man went to the Sun Office one day
and asked to see the editor-in-chief
He would not be rebuffed by the sub
ordinates, and after some delay he was
admitted. He stated his business
without a moments loss Of time. "Mr.
DANA" he said, II believe I could be
of some use on this paper, and I want
you to give me trial. If you don't
find me of any use you needn't pay me
any salary, and if you do shall want
a good salary: If I don't find my
proper groove in month you can
drop me OUT \:
Mr. Dana looked him over. young
man. he said, II like your looks.
Have you ever attended any institution
of learning?' Eyes, sir. I am a
graduate of two newspaper Offices
one a country weekly and the other
a daily paper in city of one hundred
thousand inhabitants "Tll take you.
Go and report to the managing edi-
tor" And Mr.. Dana turned again to
his work.--You Companion.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

tory northwest course will carry the
vessel far away from the track of any
regular liners or coasters and the
sWarthy Russian sailors will be given
their chance to participate in the af-
fair ( .. "#%
This they will do by firing each gun
at nothing but the water, first with
half service charge of powder and
then with the regular war charge and
projectile. The effects of each shot
on every plate, beam and stanchion
will be noted, for the great guns use
40 pounds Of the highest power
smokeless powder to hurl their $50
pound pointed cylinders of steel, and
the crush and shock of such dis
charge is little less than a small
earthquake.
7 There is one thing sure in connection
with the Retvizan. She will never
catch fire. The lessons of the Yalu
river. Manila bay and Santiago are
now too deeply rooted in the minds OF
the Russians to permit them to use
wood in any form in the construction
of their ships. So she has asbestos
bulkheads in all the living spaces and
the entire interior is sheathed with
the same fre-proof material. Even
her boats will be of metal, step
which has not been taken by the
United States yet, though the newer
ships have precious little wood about
them.
1t will be only a few days before
the world will know whether this
100000 combination of steel is a
success or failure, and if she proves
the test, as everybody believes she
will, then the world must bow, for
the era of the 1S-knot battleship has
come
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
ANaLo-AM ERicAN ROMANCE.

$40
Two UncIes ina the Is, :.,itsd states 1sar1sl,
an Englishman in Need.
To few men SIS It f.iven to make a
fair mpetences lose it, and suddenly
and without expectation find two for
tunes thrown at their feet. That has
been the experience & Of Mr.. Joseph
Samuel Stadden Russell At the be
ginning Of this year he. was employed
In the humble capacity Of groom; to-
day he is in possession Of a fortune OF
s16o. 900, most Of 1T invested in free
hold property In New York and Pitts
burg. The story has most Of those
elements of romance with which the
popular imagination clothes the unex-
pected acquisition of wealth As in sc
many other cases. it is the rich uncle
h in America there were more OF
them! -Who has played the part Of q
generous Providence In Mr.. Russell
case, however, there were two uncles,
but from neither did he entertain any
expectations Of an inheritance. One
lived in Pittsburg, the other in New
York; one was his uncle on his faith
ers side, the other was the brother OF
his fathers second wife. Mr.. Russell
himself was born in London, within
the sound Of Bow bells,'' but he has
spent fully thirty years in the States.
Both his uncles went out there when
very young and very poor, but they
rapidly advanced and became consid-
cradle property-oWners Recently Mr..
Russell returned to this country and
started a public house at Maidstone, at
the same time depositing all the mon
ey he had saved in America with Dunn
bells bank. When the bank failed he
lost everything, and at SO had to face
the world penniless. 1t was then: that
he took place as groom, but he had
not been long in that situation when
the news came that his fathers broth
er had left him a fortune, which was
originally stated to be 950,000-odd,
but in reality came to be, something
more, nearly approaching 100000.
That, however, did not exhaust Mr..
Russell's luck. Only the other day he
received intimation from a firm of So
liciotrs in New York that his uncle-in-
law had bequeathed to him a sum
which, with the previous windfan, put
MIN in possession of 100000. It is an
extraordinary revolution in the for
tunes Of an unambitious man, and al
the more extraordinary, perhaps, be-
cause it was quite unexpected. Mr..
Russell is shrewd, level-headed Lon
doner, who is under no apprehension
that he will be tempted to squander
his fortune.-London Chronicle.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

Monsieur Henri Barceaux was in
this country recently on his way home
from Paris to the South Sea Islands.
Though 8 native of the French capital
u. Barceaux has little in common
with the Inhabitants of any great city,
except the desire to make money and
plenty OF it. AT his island home in
Tahiti, in Paris and in New York, he
B known "a a dealer in pearls, which
ne buys from the native pearl divers
and sells to the jewelers. Of the great
capitals. % E u. S.S 5s
NJ. Barceaux stopped off in Chicago
for a few days and made an excursion
up Into Wisconsin to look into the
pearl fisheries Of the inland rivers and
creeks Of which he has heard so much.
Personally M Bareeaux looks least
OF all like the popular idea Of a
Frenchman. He is a huge fellow,
more than six feet tall, and both his
hair and his beard are yellow. He
speaks English with only the slight
est accent. incidentally he told inter
est1ng things about the brown skinned
divers who bring up the pearls bear
ing bivalves from the bottom of the
South Pacific. .Ea II
All AS 4 suppose everybody knows %
ne said to a reporter in Chicago,
pearls are now the most fashionable
and popular of Jewels and have inn
mensely increased In value within a
few years. Also 4 believe they are
yearly: growing harder to get, so that
the increase in price is perhaps nat
: ural. s...s',.
'"'The most. remarkable thing about
the pearl fisheries in the South Sea
islands is the beautiful character O.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

i r. .. -t.sS-e. -
was kept out of the water. . Thus
handicapped the natives swan dis
lance Of almost two miles, finally
landing the exhausted and almost un-
conscious Scotsman on the sandy
beach, where he left him and went to
give warning to his friends. After
the Scotsman had recovered he Fought
out the chief and tried to ap. .ogize
to him. But the native would not lis
ten to him. - r.
"'You cheated and robbed me- said
the native calmly. When I comp, ain
ed you abused me. Because / saved
your life you wish to. apologize to me.
There is no occasion. I would do as
! much for dog"
Then the chief walked quietly
away and refused to listen to anything
further. But he told his friends
among the pearl divers how he had
been treated and after that the Scots
man found it almost impossible to
buy pearls at any price. Within few
months he had left the islands for
good and gone back to England.
THE native divers all work for
themselves and sell what they find to
the highest hidden among the dealers.
They 60 out two or three in boat
h to spots, where the water is from six
ty to 100 feet deep, Without clothing
of any kind on the diver drops over
the side of the boat, his feet resting on
heavy stone which is fastened to a
rope. When they are ten Or. fifteen
feet from the bottom they dive off the
stone head foremost, and SO reach the