The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1901-02-28

| order and regularity. At the end of
| four miles he was conscious of nothing
except that the roads were abominably
| and that he was tired and hungry and
| wished he hadn't come
II was still mile to the farm which
was advertised to be sold. and he
longed 10 turn back; but he recolected
the yacht his wife wanted to buy on
| time payments, and the automobile she
had In view. and the thought drove
him forward-there was no chance TO
retreat
How dye, pardner." said the farm
er, who found Jones vainly tying TO
locate the front gate by the dim twi-
light.
lis this the place that 10 adver-
tised?" asked Jones. resting against the
fence almost exhausted
81 ca'calatc it is. BE you from the
city,"
"I be-" said Jones. dropping into the
dialect of the place.
''Then you'd better come 10 the
house" The whole family set about
making him at home. They took 1t FOR
granted that he had come to stay
awhile. They opened some new pre-.
serves, and got out the softest and
most yielding of feather beds.
After two days Jones was sGffelted
with fresh air. wholesome food and
simple. unaffected country manners.
He inwardly rehelled against brown
sugar in his coffee. white butter. and
feather beds. and the only institution
he fully endorsed was the hard cider
barrel. He was shocked at their ig-
norance of steam plows and costly
fertilizers About the only satisfac-
tion he got was in telling the feats of
famous horse trainers he had seen.
The neighbors came in to listen with
open-mouthed astonishment. They put
Jones down as remarkable man. but
the next day the oldest and latest
horse Oh the farm ran away with him,
and made him the laughing stock Of
the neighborhood.
Jones was mad enough to go home,
but that day his wife wrote Il letter in.
that the horrid man wouldn't sell The
yacht or the automobile on time
Jones answered with an enthusia~-
tic prose poem on the delights of farm
ing. Jones was n small man, and he
often found some discrimination ncc-
essary in dealing with his strong
minded wife.
Every day brought its trials. Tho
farmer attempted to learn him 10
plow, but gave it up. Jones had fire.
quently alluded to the rough-shod agri-
culturist as n clod-hopper, but after he
had watched his Instructor and then
tried furrow or two himself. he madc
up his mind never to consider any
body awkward again.
That evening a letter from his wife
announced the engagement of the cid
est daughter to their well-to-do grocer
of German extraction and further stat
ed that the other girl had 'steady"
who was saving his money.
Jones congratulated himself OF his
diplomacy.
Things couldn't have turned out
better; still have my old position as
bookkeeper, and | reckon | nc 4dn't be
afraid that the girls beaux will look
down on me. But what about buying
the farm?"
lie approached the owner while sur
rounded by his numerous family.
you've got the best farm in the
State" he said 'and you are very rea-
sonable in everything. You don't claim
it's the Garden OF Eden. but you ought
to. You've got the homestead shaded
by spreading elm and the duck pond
near by--everything Is as complete as
chrome. I'd like to buy you out, but
the fact is 4 haven't got the money
why we amt no notion of selling
mister" said the farmer in an injured
tone.
Pm glad of it, sir; but what about
your advertisements"
'Pshaw! we only advertised for fall
boarders.'
II see" said Jones, with sigh Of re.
lief. II must have stumbled on the
wrong farm, but I'm blamed well cat
isfied. What's your bill"
We'll bein' as the puppy ct up your
patent feathers, we'll call it four dol
lars il you're willing"
"Whatever you say" said Jones.
counting out the money quite eagerly.
'I've got a hundred dollars. at least,
out OF the deal"
Jones had great deal 10 tell when
he reached his fiat that evening. The
two young men. who came right regu-
larly now, greatly admired the speci-
mems OF mammoth fruit he had
brought homo.
"You seem TO have entirely regained
your good humor,' said his wife, pick
ing the last burr off his coat tails.
''The country is the only place FOR
change" he said with sigh.
And what about buying the farm?"
his wife asked neryously.
why. the fool farmer won't SELL"
"Oh" she said simply. but the ex'
preston on her face showed she was
greatly relieved.-Wayerley Magazine.
General BnlIsrs Distinction.
After the battle of Colenso, says
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