Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1901-09-26
THE JUMPING UMPIRE

"Say, you know that daffy dance that
makes a guy iiggle up and down like a rub
| Der ball IN its last bounces. while his
eatures twitch rag-time accompaniment
81 right angless The invitus dance, or
netting like thatg" The fat ex-maseot
5f the Lightioot Lilies looked inquiringly
a bis friends.
W by, you mean the st. Nitus dance,
o.e OF them ventured.
! Is that it? Well this st. Vitus may
nave been a good man and a graceful
dancer, but any time | want to trip the
light fantastic just give me an old-tash-
ioned waltz or something with glide IN
| it for mine | once knew baseball UNI
pire that was proficient at his step. The
Ringtail Roarers brought him down to the
championship game at Lily park one year
when it was their turn to furnish the UNI
pire. Say, you ought to have seen him as
he suffered out to take his place behind
the bat. Id be willing to back him odds
on against St Vitus at his own dance and
concede 80 witches TO the minute at that.
But we could have stood for his dancing
all right if he hadn't gummed the game
the way he did. How? You couldn't guess
in a rich uncles lifetime. 1t was like
this:
Capt. Priest, of the Roarers, won the
toss and chose outs. For us Sammie Sal
mon dropped a neat little single back OF
third. Then the trouble began. Their
third baseman tossed the ball over to first,
and first baseman clapped it onto Sammie,
who by this time was anchored fast to the
bag.
:. 'How's that, Mr.. Umpire:' shouted the
first baseman.
"The umpire was still jumping up and
down in the ecstasies Of his sanity dance.
You're you're you're outattirst, he
sputtered, with convulsive wave of his
hand.
WHAT Sammie Salmon demanded, in
dignantly. Out! Why, I've never left the
base
but in those days, you know, what the
umpire said went and there was nothing
for Sammie to do but stink back TO the
bench and keep his troubles to himself. The
same thing happened when Bull Thomp-
son drew his base on balls. While he was
standing on the bag the first baseman held
the ball against his arm and again APP
pealed 10 the umpire. Same result Two
men sitting on the bench with troubles
OF their own. Then came Capt. Slugger
Burrows First on dead ball; stood on
first with both feet; touched by first base
man, and side declared out by the sanity
dance guy. That was more than we could
stand. Slugger Burrows threatened to
take his team off the field, and it was only
by the strongest kind Of argument that
Cy Priest succeeded in persuading him to
finish out the inning.
Matters were finally adjusted and the
Roarers took the bat. The first two men
up died easy deaths on infeld pop flies. We
began to have some hopes of tie game in
spite of the juggling umpire. Then Cy
Priest toed the rubber. He drove the first
pill out of the box down between second
and short, and reached first with whole
clock full OF time TO spare. Foote tossed
the ball over to first just as matter Of
form. when-What's the trouble with
Priest the rooters began to ask one an
other: is that spluttering umpire conta-
qiouss' All at once Capt. Slugger Burrows
at short burst out laughing. 1t seemed
rather cruel to us to find merriment in the
affection OF rival. We didn't think 1t OF
the slugger.
why, aren't you guys next? he asked
when the side was finally retired. lou see
the way that umpire jumps around. Well,
that's disease; he can't help it. What )
more. he doesn't even know it. Ha, ha, ha.
We were utterly Disguised with his heart
lesslaughter Don't you see it yetg he asked
when he had partly recovered. His UNI
pirelets there watches the runner instead
Of the base He thinks he's standing still
and that it's the runner that's doing the
iumping. He thinks we were all toucned
out while we were jumping in the air. The
only way to make him think you're stand
ing still is TO jump up and down with him
the way Cy Priest did. Don't you see 1t
nowE
'sNow what do You think Of that? And
the Slugger was right We found that by
Jumping up and down with the s.. Nitus
umpire he thought we were literally on the
level and consequently called US safe. Why, |
by the sixth ianing the thing had become |
second nature, and the Is players OF both |
teams were springing mp and down like 20
many dyspeptic grasshoppers. Even the
spectators seemed to catch the spirit of the
thing. Men, women and children were
jumping round in way that at one time
threatened destruction TO the grand-stands.
.Humph.' grunted the umpire when the
thing was at lis height, i knew-theyd get
tired-of-the Internal jumping -and-and |
have to quiet down-after awhile
"Who finally won the game. The Roar
ers; but they had to employ the scurviest !
kind Of underhand methods in order 70 do
H. 1t was in the first OF the ninth. They /
we're one run to the good, two men were
gone, Bull Thompson was jumping hope
FULLY on Third and Home Run Hankins
was at the bat. Suddenly some one on the
Roarers' bleachers sang out: Hey, Bull
rhompsonl Your stockings coming down
The Bull started TO stoop, and then, sus-
pecting treachery, quickly Strengthened up
md resumed his jumping. Priest shot the
ball over and the third baseman clapped It
on the Bull.
YOU'RE out at third the umpire
shouted. Gee, but you're jumping high4
The Bulls momentary hesitation had
put him out OF time with the umpire. They
VINO hesitate are lost!"-N. y. Sun.
A strange Combat.
A traveller in South Africa tells Of a