davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12

THE Little Magnet because she neither
sparkles brilliantly nor has any more
magnetism than a rusty horseshoe.
THE coincidence sings three songs,
whether the audience wants them or not.
one of them is coon ditty. with rag
time dance or cakewalk finale. Another
is prefaced by the announcement, And
2dSs fn % Ee n6w sne w. 5 Y9Gf
cess, written for me, composed for me,
sung only by me and published for me
bv Einstein and Tcklemyer."
The coincidence insists upon q fun
stage for her first song and then uncOm-
plainingly submits to being closed in. But
she always has trouble with the piano
player, and heaps whitening sarcasm upon
that unfortunate, which he phlegmatcally
Sometimes The condolences husband is
i'm the same bill and then she stands In
the wings while he is on and watches him
narrowly to see that he engages in no
faithlsss Irritation with female fellow ar
lists or refined women shoppers in the
the conedienne is perpetuaIy con
sumed by fTightful suspicious that some
one is trying to steal her husband. II
there is a rival coincidence she always
tells her what bloodthirsty revenge she
would infiict upon any hussy who dared
come between her and Billy
There is scarcely a suffering vaudeville
attendant in this great land who has not
been bored nigh unto going out to the
box Office and demanding the return OF
the price of his ticket by the wearisome
work Of the comedy juggler.' Many VIII
recognize this description:
"A tramp makeup is usually affected by
the comedy iuggler. He begins with some
tricks with a hat and cigar and then
passes on 10 cigar boxes and a hghteu
lamp.
The comedy juggler is always dropping
things and making sarcastic illusions to
the apathy and non-responsiVenesS OF ms
audience.
His billing matter, sent in advance, de
Scribcs him as one Of superior SIKH IN
the adroit manipulation of inanmate OBJ
iects, hut the manager puts this in the
waste basket and programmes him as
plain comedy juggler.'
There is only one thing sadder ana
more disheartening than the Juggling OF
this artist. and that is his comedy"
The follower of Cissie Lotus, who styles
herself IAN imitatriX, is handled in this
manner:
She is usually 4 soulful-eyed young
woman with thin features and voice like
initiate Edna May. Usually she throws in
Bernhardt. Guilbert, Mrs. Fiske. May
Irwin. and makes a try at Stuart Robson
and Denman Thompson.
ITO person with eyes closed in dreamy
reverie all her limitations sound alike, and
none in the remOtest degree resembles an
original but there are always persons IN
front who affect superior knowledge of
famous celebrities by long, loud, and con-
tinued applause.
about the only genuinely funny thing
that James F. Hoey ever did was fake
imitation of Henry Irving, and then when
the audience applauded rapturously he
would explain with fine touch of satire,
You lie-you never saw him.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12
Georgetown Orchestra Concert.

The last orchestral concert OF the pres
eut season will be given by the George
town Orchestra at the National Theatre.
on the evening Of May %. This popular
organization, which seldom fails TO draw
large audience, has chosen for this &C.
casion programme that will please all
tastes, which viii include the following:
Beethoven's overture 70 "Egmont," Men
delssohu's Scotch symphony" the bril-
liant orchestral suite. 'LArlesacune." by
Bizet, and VieuNtcmps d minor CON
ceTtu for violin and orchestra This Ia ST
viii be played by Anton Kaspar. who
needs no introduction TO the Washington
public as SOloist and teacher.
The soloist Of the evening will be Miss
Mary Helen Howe, a Washington vocal
list, who has also won Iaurcls elsewhere.
both in concert and opera. She viii be
accompanied on the piano by Henry
Eandcr Many Of the orchestral num-
bcrs require harp, which Will be played
by Miss Anita cluss. A novelty on the
prOgra ammo will be Fischer's ''Barca-
role" played by sixty violns in unison
Those who have heard this number AT
rehearsals predict that il viii make de-
cided hit The large number of seats al
ready sold at Sanders x Stayman's indi-
cate that full house may be expected.
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12
ARRESTED THE KAISER.
Mistake of n German Guard and Its
Unexpected Result.

(From the New York Commercial Advertiser)
The Kaiser recently had an amusing
experience with a Berlin detective. He
left the imperial residence at Potsdam by
a back door. as he occasionally does when
he wants to go about privately. y new
guard happened to be stationed in the
grounds and did not recognize the Empe-
ror lie hurriedly questioned an official
the palace as 10 the stranger who appar-
emily tried to avoid attracting notice. y
stupid guard was sent to follow him and
the unrecogniZed Emperor led him a mer-
Ty chase. He went to Berlin. where he
entered a restaurant and dined like any
ordinary person, and he continued his lit
tie incognito excursion without doing any
thing particularly suspicious He stopped
in a tobacconist's for cigarettes and occa-
siOnaiIy stopped TO look i'm show windows
still logged closely by the sIeuth from
Potsdam When he finally got back to
the p~'~"a hA started 10 e~-~C it unn1Ia-
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12
-Four Big Shows in (neI

per. Then | sell pape on Hahso Avnoo.
1 sell maybe tlee maybe four. to China
men, in store. Then 1 sell on stleet TO
eyly one
DO the other boys trouble your"
Mclean boy call me name sometime
don't say | hear Mclean boy Mclean
boy bad sometime He play gamble
penny sometime, dice sometime He play
in Chinese lestaulant Man chase UNI
away, but Mclean boy come back | no
play gamble. | save money, maybe tIee
cent, maybe ten cent. eYIy day.'
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12
Ifud to Do II,

From the Chicago Trbune)
The stranger bad just paid 10 cents for a sand
wich, piece Of pie, and I cup Of coffee.
Your prices pretty steep" lie said 'fer
a little cramped, insignificant, one-story shacs' -
But think Of the money I'm losing every day
by not having a siXteen-Story Office building on
this spot % ground returned the proprietor in
tie tone OF an injured man
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12

cernedly. but the man who had been fol-
lowing him was now convinced that some
thing was wrong. so he darted forward
and laid his hand on the K8iser's shoulder
and asked who he was2 II took fifteen
minutes and the corFoboratio of half the
palace to satisfy him that his prisoner was
the Kaiser himself. The latter enjoyed
the joke hugely. He ordered that the
crestfallen man be given hearty dinner
and a present of s25 as an appreciation of
his zaal-
The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-05-12
Dor
Ami

Is an improvement over scour-
ing soaps. 1t is made of finer
material. 1t will not scratch,
I" scour off" and wear out "
surfaces on which it is used.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

Our friend Ed Taylor has not been himself for several days. Upon asking by-stander the
 reason, we were informed that a ten pound boy had come to gladden. his happy home. Mother and baby are doing well. We hope papa will live over this his supre- nest joy. The doctors entertain great hopes for his recovery. The only danger point in his an atomy, is his heart. MT. Taylor is one of the most energetic pict- ure men on Gods footstool snd if his heart keeps on pumping. he will no doubt make baby pict- ureS a speciality in the future.
 Bob Mcdaniel is the only man in Woodruff Coaa that can fool peo- pie. Last week, he passee him. self as a single man. Au old maid introduced him as a widower. To whom do you suppose our Bob was introduced? Why to widow of course. She was sick at the time and Bob concluded that the sick deserve the attention of the healthy. He thought the invalid was young woman of about 35 summers, but upon investi cation found to his astonishment that she is 50 years old. Bob imme- diately concluded that she did not need any further attention at his hands, consequently he took
 french leave. We are notadvised whether or not he has returned. This is as it was told us.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

H. T. Mcintyre, St. Paul, Minn., who has been troubled with a disordered stomach, says, "Cham berlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets do me more good than anything I have ever taken. :" For Sale by Dr. J. B. Neal of McCrory and A. s. Thompson of DeView.
 A woman will yank up the guy ropes of her corset until she al. most squeezes her immortal soul out of place, put on a $10 hat that is ornamented with the dead body of a song bird, and go strut ting around town selling tickets to a missionaries entertainment to raise money to reform the heathen Chinese and prevent the women from binding their feet. .-Ex.
 On last Friday, Col. A. J. Marsh returned home, accompanied by MT. Allen of Paris, Tenn. MT. Allen has been looking at Arkan- sas prospecting. He has heard so many tales of Arkansas that he was continually on the lookout for fear that some one might kill him. Seeing no such muder- ous fends abroad, he concluded the stories he had heard were false. He said to his surprise, he found the people here were just as intelligent and refined as elsewhere. Let others come and they will also sing songs of praise to our state.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

hing about with his hands trying to hold that part of his anatomy usually known as head, but which after visiting MT. 'Possnm, look ed like a bag of putty or an inhat- ed balloon. MT. 'Possum is still en- toying life and if those boys ever come a fooling around again, the yellow jacnets and he will certain repeat the dose. We venture the assertion that Ross and Tom will not go hunting again soon unless it is to spite the Editor.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

E. D. Marsh of Wiville was in town last Monday.
 Dr. Hargis and wife spent last Sunday in Augusta.
 Cras Buchanan our assessor, was visiting in our town last Sun day.
 Atty. Summers of Augusta was in town last Saturday on legal business.
 -"Jessie Moore Whiskey," Nothing equal to it in purity and flavor. Sold by Vaccaro & Go.
 Our friend l.. B. Winfree was in town last Sunday shaking hands with his many friends. -"Silas Moore Whisl1ey," Nothing equal to it in purity and flavor. Sold by Cook & Cariker.
 M, E. Johnsey contributed $1. to the support of the Editor and the Devil. Let others come in and do likewise.
 When you buy Jessie Moore Whiskey" you get the best your money can buy, and no mistake. Sold by Vaccaro 6 Go.
 MT. c. l.. Mason spent a few days in Memphis last week visit ing his mother. While there, he also transacted same business.
 Master E. c. Marsh of Wiville kindly handed us a dollar last Saturday to pay for his papa's paper. It is fine thing to have such boys about the place.
 Mrs. Berta Montgomery of Searcy who is looking after her business interests near Cotton Plant witnessed the play here Wednesday night. Monroe Go. Citizen.
 The funeral of c. R. Atkinson will approached at the Methodist chGfch in McCrory on Sunday night Nov. 17th by the pastor. All relatives and friends of the deceased are cordially invited.
 For all fresh cuts or wounds, either on the human subject or on animals, BILLIARDS SNOW LINIMENT is excellent; while for corn-huskers' sprained wrists, barbed-wire cuts and sores on working horses, it can not be to highly commended. Price, 50 cents. Sold by Dr. J. B. Neal.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

Many people are suffering fearfully from indigestion or dyspepsia, when one single bot tie of HERBINE would bring about a prompt and permanent cure. A few doses will do more for weak stomach than a pro longed course of any other medi- cine. Price, 50 cents. Sold by Dr. Neal.
 At party one night recently a young couple exchanged the ball room for the front porch, when the young mans arm stold quietly around the girls slender waist. Am I the first girl you ever hugged?" queried she. He was a newspaper man and there fore could not tell a lie, so he re- piled; No, sweetness, you are the fourth edition I have put to press tonight.-Ex.
 One of our ingenious citizens has invented a fishing net, which though small enough to be car ried in the pocket, yet lands fish by the wholesale! it has in it a small looking glass, on one. side of which is the advertisement of a dry goods house. He has it fastened to the end of a pole, dips it into the water and catches fish readily. The peculiar feature about this invention is that it catches only female fish-the ad and the looking glass are too much for lady-fsh curiousity.
 Ross Jeffries and Tom Ross went cut one night last week to see if they could find MT, Opos- sum at home, The dogs soon fonnd the lair Of their friend MT. 'Possum. Somewhere just south of Jeffries crossing is an old log in which these two hunters locat- ed the object of their search. Ross thought this was the same log with which he was so famil- far, but he was never so badly mistaken. MT. 'Possum did hot admire the fam iliariy of Ross, so he kindly gave him speciman of his biting qualities. Ross said that finger sure did hurt. While Ross was grooming over the bite, Tom Ross had located some vel low-jackets in that same log. These yellaw-jackets have some very striking characteristics. For example, they always attend to their own business and never depend on anyone to do it for them. They do not believe in procrastination, but do right now whatever they intend to do. Tom can surely say amen! to all this. Tom said vasaline was in demand about the place that night. Ross was running around with his bit ten finger, while Tom was run
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

Jessie Moore Whiskey" is pure and wholesome. Fer fami- Iy or medicinal use it has no equal. Sold by Vaccaro & Go.
 Mrs. Berta Montgomery, who once resided here, was over last week from her home at Searcy. After trausacting enough busi- ness to give her a cold, she re- turned home.
 Miss Ethel Stokes and her brother John, two young people of Jonesboro, are in town visiting the family of w. B. Daugherty. Uncle Bill will no doubt show them his edcutaed hen.
 HERBINE sweetens the breath. brightens the eyes and clears the complexion without the slightest ill effects whatever, and ensures the natural bloom of health. Price, 50 cents. Sold by Dr. Neal.
 Master B. c. Marsh Tn compa- ny with his parents paid his grand-papa and grand-mamma a pleasant visit last Saturday aud Sunday, Ernest will soon be able to ride Texas mustang or drive Kansas broncho.
 Never try to coax a cold or cough, use the remedy that un- failingly conquers both. BAL LARD'S HOREHOUND SYRUP is the great specific for all throat and lung troubles. Price, 50 cents. Sold by Dr. Neal.
 A preacher in an eastern town recently got all the women at one of his meetings to remove their hats and had no difficulty about it. He simply said: Will all ladies wearing $15 hats please remove them, as those behind cannot see. Those who wear 50 cent hats need not bother" It is needless to say that every hat in the house came off at once.
 There is probably no disease more distressing and annoying than piles. TABLER'S BUCK EYE PILE OINTMENT is daily curing cases of years standing of itching and bleeding piles. l The cure begins on the first ap- plication, a little perseverance makes the cure complete. Price, 50 cents in bottles. Tubes, 75 cents. Sold by Dr. Neal.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09
Church Announcements.

M. E. Church, South, S. L. Cochran, pastor Services every first and third Sunday Snn- day School every Sunday at 93o a. m., Dr. G. B. Fakes, Superintendent. Prayer-meeting every Wednesday night at 7:30 D. m.
 Christian Church. of Deview. Services lst and srd Sundays at II a. m., Eld Long preach ing on the first Sunday and Eld Wood on the 3rd. On 2nd and 4th Sundays of each month C 0 mmunion services are held at D. m.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09

DeView Township Officials. Constable, John Hatcher Justices of Peace. W. W. Best and J. T. Angelo
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09
Court Sessions.

Circuit Court meets third Monday in Februa- ry and August
 Woodruff Chancery Court.-Third Monday in May and December.
 County Court.-First Monday in January. April, July and October.
 Probate Court meets fourth Monday in Jan uary, April, July and October.
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09
County Officials.

County and Probate Judge, T. E. Stanley Sheriff, J. B. Kttrell Circuit Clerk. Ed. S. CarlLee County Clerk. L. B. Winfree Assessor. Cras Buchanan Treasurer, Eugene Rillingslea Snrveyo A. J. Black
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
DR. L. A. JELKS
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.

McCRORY, ARK
 Office next door west of E. L. Hamilton,s furniture store. will be found at my office day or night
Woodruff County news., 1901-11-09
City Officials.

City Officials.
 Mayor, H. T. Raney Recorder. W. B. Kyle Marshall A, D. Stafford Aldermen: c. W. McCrory, E. L, Hamilton F. T. Wherry c. Haley and H. J. Cariker
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
IcORRESPONDENcE.' !
FARM ERS.

Little son of George Renneyday
is quite sick.
Railroad show here Monday !;
last TO disturb the monotony.
Ice Cream Supper at Dir. 1. Nj.
Evans was a pleasant affair.
School opened the 22nd with an
enrolment of 56pupils. Mrs. Kate
p. Evans, teacher.
Mr.. Smock has three sisters Wis
iting him; two from Bardstown
and one from Missouri.
Mrs. Wat Brain received letter
stating her sister was dangerously
ill in Kansas with smallpox.
Born, to the wife of Shouse Mar
tin on Wednesday night, July "a,
1901, son-Henry Kautz Martin.
Montague's Mill hands were
threatening strike, but he called
them together and gave them their
request.
Farmers Oil, Gas d Mineral Co.
having let the contract TO Mr..
Henderson, of Pennsylvania, have
begun boreing for oil on j. ID. War
ren's farm on Licking river. They
have gone about l20 feet and re-
port having struck Gas.
Buckwalter's Mill hands are on a
strike for ten hours and pay at the
end of ever two weeks, instead of
working Il hours day and pay
monthly.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Change of Date.

As will be seen from the large ad
in this issue, the date of the Street
Fair and Carnival has been chang
ed from August %, 30, 30 and 81,
to August q, %, % and 24-one
week earlier. 1t was deemed adj
visable to make this change, be-
cause of the conclave at Louisville
and the fact that the Bostock
FerarI Carnival and Midway Com.
pany could not appear here only on
the last named date. The Company
will positively appear, and the Fair
promises to be the most stupen-
dOus amusement enterprise ever
inaugurated in this city. The
Bostock Ferari Company only
booked two cities in Kentucky
Lexington and Nj Sterling, and
the A. o. L. w. and Red Men are
to be congratulated in securing
them for the Fair.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
WELL. WELL, WELL!

Republicans OF Louisville, not
satisfied to wait for regular cleo
ton in which to get in their dirty
work, went in to steal from each
other. We are not prepared to
say the law should be literally en-
forced against kleptoma nj a c S.
Honest elections, civil liberty and
such expressive saying are too
sacred for Republicans use. Re-
publicans had a primary, they had
a chance to steal even from Re
publiCans and what did they do?
They confess that they stole,
that the boxes did not contain the
wish of the people at the polls and
those in high places are the accus-
ed. Such conduct as was enacted
at the Louisville Republican pri-
mary should forever put TO rest
charges of insincerity and fraud
against the Democratic party.
Their crimes against the Demo
racy at Frankfort was murder, and
in their own ranks at Louisville
theivery. A nice set the Louis
vile Republicans are.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
a Mniion . 3 Wife.

Mrs Charles NJ Schwab, the wife
OF the steel trust nan, has a great
fondness for tlayt'rg on railroad
trains. When Mr.. Schvab was young
er and did not make ml'ion dollars
year, Mrs. Schwab cii,r elr.ssed
the wish to be able to ride .ros .ial
car and ride all She pleased. 1t, is
with quiet satisfaction hat Mr..
Schwab says he has felt able O put
a private car at his wife's disposal for
the past year, and hopes to be able
to do so as long as she may want it,
N. Y. Times.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Not Up. to date.

A firm not up to-date is Shrout-
Robinson d Co. They don't fur
nish chin music, but have choice
meats, fruits, vegetables and gro
ceries of all kinds-no seconds, but
the best, and their enormous trade
is proof not only that they handle
the best, but that their prices are
right. Their meats are prepared,
kept and cut scientifically.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Commissioners Paid After Years

Attorney w. 5. Pryor, represent
ing Gen. II. b. Lyon, Senator j. w.
Thomas and the executors of Will
hottie Carpenter. the Commissioners
who superintended the building of
the Eddyville penitentiary, has col
lected from the State Treasury $l2,-
600 adjudged by the courts TO be
due them for their work. Each
will receive 81, 900 without interest.
The Legislature passed special
act allowing the Commissioners to
sue the State TO recover for their
services.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
BDERTHS.R

SENIEuR.-On July 20, at Boul-
der. Col, Amos Senieur, aged 90
wears. He was brother of Fred
Senieur. of this city.
BUsH.-Mr. Allen Neil Bush
died Friday night at the home OF
his daughter, Mrs. Thomas w.
Bruce, of diabetes, aged fifty-three
wears. The funeral was preached
at the home of his boyhood, on
the Ruckerville pike, Clark county,
near the Howard's Greek bridge,
by Rev. Richard French, and the
remains were buried in the family
graveyard. He was native OF
Clark county, a son OF Allen N.
Bush and Polly Robinson Bush.
His first wife was Miss Mollie
Potts, daughter of Rev. ). V.
1OlIs. one ultu SlAlCoh JS"i'
ago, and after remaining wild
over for nine years, he married
Miss Kate Brawner, of this city,
who survives him. He leaves two
sons, Clifton H., of Lexington,
and William, of Clark county, and
five daughters, Mrs. Thomas W.
Bruce and Misses Lizzie, Edyth,
Florence and Wheeler Bush. For
many years Mr.. Bush was demo-
cratic leader and for number of
years was Circuit Clerk of Clark
county. Mr.. Bush was brother
in-law of j. L. Brawner and Mrs.
Frank Pickrell, of this city.
MCDoNALD-On Il h ur d Y
morning, July 25, 1901, Hugh
Mcdonald, aged SO years, died at
his home on Maysville street, this
city. Funeral services were held
Friday morning at the family resi-
dence conducted by the Baptist
pastor, w. j. Bolin. The remains
were taken to Winchester for in
terment. Mr.. Mcdonald had been
in feeble health for quite awhile,
but only recently had been con-
fined to his room. He was quiet
unobtrusive man, faithful to his
obligations in the measure of his
ability. At the time of his death
he was Secretary of the Harrison
Burial Association" He leaves
a wife, two daughters and one son
to mourn his untimely demise.
Our tenderest sympathy goes out
to these grief-stricken ones. We
commend them to the God of all
grace for comfort and help.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Unpleasantness.

Sam Jackson and John Scott,
colored, had an unpleasantness over
a girl and on last Saturday night
they fought, Jackson getting the
worst of it, He was wounded in
the head and arm with knife, Sc
riously though not necessarily fatal
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Fishing Party.

DR.. VIM. VanAntwerp, "rice"
Bedford, John NJ. Mccormick,
Richard Reid, Anderson Howard,
James N. Reid, J. W. Chenault,
Mrs. Miller Anderson, Misses Ma
mie and Lizzie Bedford and Miss
Richardson compose a lively fishing
party that is camping on the banks
of Red River.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Change of Firm.

Messrs. Wilson d Freeman have
sold their coal and feed business,
corner Locust and Queen streets, to
Allen Powers & Co., of Menefee
county. The firm comes highly
recommended and we welcome them
to the business circles of our city,
and wish them success.
The Mt. Sterling advocate., 1901-07-30
Unable TO Obtain LOGS.

The Magann, Fawke Lumber
Company, owning the largest mill
located in Irvine, closed its plant
on account of lack of logs. The
company has from 10000 to II, 900
logs bedded in the headwaters of
the Kentucky river, which they viii
receive on the first rise.