The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-11-08
CONTRARY TO PRECEDENT.
One Time When the BAD Man Said
He Was Bad and Made Good
for Fair.

for Fair.
"I'm a loose maverick that's never
been branded" rOared Pisen Bill,
dancing around the platform of the
station at Holy Smoke Gulch just as
the eastern train came in. Il eat
cobras while they're still a-wrigglin'l
l can lick a alligator under water an
skin him 'ithout ever comm t tn top
FIR breath! Vince, wOw-ee! but sure
am bad!" and Pisen Billet out series
of whoops that echoed from the sur
rounding hills and made the station
seem like leaping billow of sound, re-
lates the Washington Star.
Pisen Bill was still exuding mighty
blasts and jumping around and tell
ing how bad he was, when an under
sized, pale-haired, pink-cheeked young
man, with stopped shoulders, specta-
cles, and the general air of Ma.ssa-
chusetts student, walked up to him
and gave him poke in the ribs with
his thumb.
''Bad, eh?" said the tenderfoot-loOk-
ing young man with the specs to the
amazed Pisen Bill, who doomed about
two feet over him, and looked down
upon him from that great height as
if he belonged to the squirrel species.
''Say, you're not bad. You just think
you're bad"
"Huh?" said Pisen Bill gasping for
breath. whats that you say, sonny?"
81 say" replied the tenderfoot, pull
ing out a nice fresh pocket handker-
chief and wiping the dust out of his
eyes with it, chat you're not even a
little bit bad. You just imagine all
that. That's a bug you've got-that
| you're bad. I know lots of Bladder peo-
pie than you are who live in brown
stone fronts right on Beacon street in
Boston. I've often wanted to stack
up against a person of your sort, that
thinks he's about the baddest ever,
SOS l could tell him that he's letting
his fancy run away with his percep-
ton of the facts. You"
Look a-here, Bud" put in Pisen
Bill, still so astonished that he could
barely frame his words, "who are you,
anyhow"
''Who, me?" said the tenderfOot with
the specs, gaining confidence and
again poBing Pisen Bill in the ribs
with his thumb. "Why, I'm just tour
ist on this train that's pulled in here
for a minute or two, and l heard your
declarations about your badness, and
I Just thought I'd, drop off to call you.
You won't do for a minute with me
when it comes to that bad question.
I don't believe you ever saw a cobra
in your life, and as to your being an
unbranded maverick, forget it. You
wouldn't know a maverick from a mon
goose if you saw one. You pain me,
and for two cents I'd hand you a jolt
on the jaw that 'ud drive you to a
painless dentist on the lope. How's
that?''
Pisen Bill drew back for a second or
so, and he looked so stunned that
But hold on right here.
If the veracious writer of this strict
ly veracious narrative were disposed
to follow in the footsteps of the young
persons who execute screechingly
funny stories for the colored weekly
press, he'd go on and describe how the
tenderfoot from Boston suddenly shot
out his right and caught the counter
felt Pisen Bill square in the stomach,
and how, when Pisen Bill involuntarily
bent forward, feeling of the place
where he had been hit, the tenderfoot
followed the rap up with a swift left
hand jab on the point of the chin,
which would cause the great hulking
bad man to go to the platform, where
upon the tenderfoot would pass him
couple of swift kicks, remove his
guns from his cartridge belt, kiss his
hand daintily to the fallen giant and
swing upon the train as it moved out
of the station; whereupon all hands
would comment upon the occasional
way of the real smart tenderfoot in
handling the bad man.
However, the writer hereof isn't
following in the footsteps of the young
persons who perform screamingIy
humorous stunts for the vari-hued
comic weeklies. He doesn't have to,
for he clings with conscientiousnes
that is almost despairing to the do
main of fact.
Such being the case
Pisen Bill drew back for second or
so, and he looked so stunned that the
tenderfoot was inspired to hand him
another cute poke in the ribs with his
thumb.
Right at this point, and with a great
laugh that echoed holloway and anon
reverberated sonOrously among the
eternal hills, Pisen Bill reached down,
took the bespectacled tenderfoot from
the Back Bay district by the scruff of
the neck, sat down on baggage truck,
placed the tenderfoot across his vast
bucksbin-clad knee, and then for ex-
actly eight minutes by the station
clock he sounded the devils tattoo on
the frame of that rash tenderfoot in
manner that beat all of the child,
raon1Iao4iOn- A.