The St. Johns herald., 1901-11-02
NOISY COLLEGE BOY.
AVERAGE SPECIMEN IS GOOD
 DEAL OF A NUISANCE.
Kansas Judge Tells How and Why the Youths Get Themselves Disliked-. Much Truth in What He Says-Com- ments, However, Are Too Drastic.


 ments, However, Are Too Drastic.
 That the college boy is often too ex'
 uberant all who know him will admit,
 but that he is as much of nuisance
 as Judge Frank Doster of the Kansas l Supreme Court declares some VIII question. Among other things" sald
 the judge in recent newspaper artl-
 cle, 'I would reform the college stu dent or kill him of. knock on him. l
 know we pretend to dote on him and affect to believe that he is the hope and
 first care of the State. but It's lie.
 We don't. Nobody but his mother does. From the time he first starts out to render 'Gallia est omnis diyisa in partes tres he becomes an insuferable nuisance. If at that stage of his ca- reer his own gall could be divided into 5000 parts instead of three and he left with only one of them the relief to mankind and to himself would be ines timable, because an infnitesimal frac- tion of the whole of what he has would suffice the needs of any ordinary mor- tai.
 "Why do I say these hard things about him? 1 say it because he is self-important, noisy, conceited, ignor- ant of all practical wisdom, parts his hair in the middle, fiaunts his frater- nifty badge and school colOrs in an of fensive, challenging sort of way in ev- erybody's face, and prances upstreet yawping his ear-splitting college yell to the fright and disgust of all timid. sensitive folk within sound. saw him at the Twentieth Kansas recep- tion, bigger man than Funston-big- ger even than Gen. HugheS-making more noise and taking up more room than the whole procession, elbowing ey- erybody out of the way and drowning the voices of the orators and the music of the bands with his idiotic Rock chalk, jay hawk; rah! rah! rah! Wash burn, rah! Baker, hurrahw or whatever the internal Siwash gibberish is. I have seen somewhat of this world and I think I have correctly sized up good many people in it, and give it as my mature and solemn Judgment, based upon careful, unprejudiced compari- son of the many classes of people who cultivate the habit of making holy show of themselves, that, with the ex- ception to be hereafter noticed, the average college student is the most ob- trusive and elephantine ass that fronts the grieved and frowning face of heav- en. I. was college student once my self.
 Now, am not objecting to what this creature learns at school. It's what he doesn't learn that am talking about. He's lazy. He doesn't design himself for any of the usual work of mankind. | Nobody ever heard of a college student who was fitting himself for anything | but one of the learned professions, so called-that is, one of the professions of learning how to live off the balance | of mankind. He's going to be law yer, a preacher, a doctor, an editor, | an author, an orator, a statesman, and | no doubting thought ever ruff1es his | serenely egotistic soul that when once he vaults into the arena of affairs the | things of this world will be speedily set to rights.
 But when he finally does land out | the much-abused, long suffering world gets its revenge. The world just trips him up and rolls its big self over him and mashes the wind out of him and then picks him up and chucks him into R little Sx10 office, with cobwebs on the ceiling and fly specks on the win dows and two broken-leg chairs on the floor and a dozen secondhand books In a wobbly old case with the glass broken out, and, refusing to pay hls board bill any longer. goes off and leaves him to learn wisdom from the ant.
 ''Nor have I any spite at the college student I only think he takes up too much room and makes too much noise and costs too much money and is too smart in the budding days of his ca reer. If he could only be induced to subside somewhat, to practice a little the modest habit of f-effacement, 20 out and soak his head, turn an K ray upon his inwards and see himself as others see him, we could possibly endure him instead of filling up with wicked wishes for his assassination. But he won't"