The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-09-28

Philadelphia Press.
That Yale professor who claims t.
| have successfully grated the tail OF al
! ought to try mis- luck at forming {
new political party--CIeveland Plair
Dealer.
"An people," remarked the earnest
/ citizen, are born equal.
Perhaps" answered the deliberate
friend; but they don't stay equal any
longer than it takes for their parents
to provide them with clothes and play
things. w Washington Star.
7 see.'' he remarked, that there is
Chicago minister who holds that the
people in the pews should talk bach
to the clergyman and frankly make
any criticisms they may desire"
How foolishI" she exclaimed. why
what enjoyment would there be in the
church societies if all criticisms Were
made openly elsewhere. Chicago Post
4 admire your wife's style of writ
ing Her diction is perfect
Yes, her diction is all right So is
her contradiction. That's wonderful.
Tit Bits.
First Traveler-Do you understand
this labor question that everybody is
talking about2
Second Traveller (emphatically)-I do
not, sir.
First Traveler-wen, III explain it
second Traveler-Youm have to ex-
cuse me. You see I'm going to be on
this train only seventeen hours.-Les-
lie Weekly.
so you won't take my medicine .
said the doctor VINO had been called
in against the patients wishes.
Il will not replied the patient
0f those
deluded beings who believe in throwing
physic to the dogs"
Not indiscriminately. Some dogs are
valuable. ''-Philadelphia Press
Gentlemen of the jury asked the
clerk of the court, have you agreed
upon a verdict2"
I've have, replied the foreman.
THE verdict of the jury is that the
lawyers have mixed this case up 50
that we don't know anything about it.
-Tit-Bits.
drinking unfltered water. which
swarms with animal organisms. You
should have it boiled; that will kill
them.
Patient-wen, doctor. I think I'd
sooner be an aquarium than ceme-
tery.-What to Eat.
Bil-Don't you think there is more in
Jill--Well, 1 believe there is more sat
isfaction in lying about the fish than in
catching them if that's what you mean.
-Yonkers Statesman.
A man has turned up in Kansas City
with a scheme to start a town site
called New Jerusalem. He was arrest
ed for being a bit dotty This town
doesn't want to figure in any more
town site schemes The man may re-
cover if he is secluded IN some place
Where he can not hear for ten days at
least the young woman with the tinted
soprano voice sing The Holy City. -
Kansas City Times.
A farmer who was taken by his city
cousin to a recital was amazed at
Paderewski's dexterity. Shaping both
hands on his knees, he said; If that
chap would hire out to pick peas, he
would certainly get forehanded. -
What to Eat
A Scottish noble lord. famed among
his friends for his saving, or, as he
would have put it himself, his careful
propensities. went out one day shooting
his broad moors. accompanied only by
his keeper. After an afternoons hard
work he sat down to rest, and, ruefully
contemplating his bag observed
thoughtfully: ..And to think that each
brace has cost me, first and last. at
least Is shillings, Donald"
Eth chr answered Donald consOIing-
ly; then it's a maircy yere Hardship
missed the many We did today for it's a
nice bit we've saved, I'm thinkingI'-
Sketch.
she-Charlie is desperately in love
with me. He says he could cover the
ground 1 stand on with kisses.
He-Oh. yes, / dare say he could If
he had the time to spare.-Noonshine
why do you speak SO slightingly of
that eminent SCIENTIST"
Il didn't mean to speak slightingly
of him. answered the young man with
the striped shirt front But it does
seem peculiar to me that a man who
knows Just when the next comet viii
arrive and just how far it is to the
moon should be so utterly ignorant
when it comes to a question of when
it's time for dinner or what train to
take to get to the nearest town. Dos
ton Traveller.
eff music be the food of love, play
on" said Shakespeare quoting from
himself to crowd of cronies at the
sign of the Blue Goose with the Glass
yes, play on" growled rare Ben
Jonson. But wait until the hand Or
gan is invented. and see how much
amorous indigestion is occasioned
thereby. ''-Baltimore American.
Il told him I would make him eat his
words declared Mr. Beechwood, holly,
speaking of a quarrel he had had with
Mr.. Brushton. He has been telling
things about me that are rank un-
truths
How foolishly men talk to one an
other" commented Mrs Beechwood,
placidedly.
What do you nean2" demanded her
husband DO you intend to insinuate
that men talk to each other more fool
ishly than women chatter2''
*'Of course I do the lady went on,
imperturbably. Nov, women never
try to make each other eat their words,
NJ matter hoy anerv they Ilax he >,