The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-12-27
THE DOWNFALL OF SANTA CLAUS


when his turn came, It's plain I don I
know how L tell a story right. But IN
sure this wan is all right II you'll figure
IL ont wise TIL throUble Wit me IS
placin' things right, an in this case
don't know which is the hest end of Il
-Afther booked EN-, Gaffney-he was
peddlin' holly wraiths-he says ne.
Officer, this man Casey is no good He
been doin' me ever sence we come [
America We got the same eddicaion.
which was none at all: an his father was
no better'n mine, which looks bad for
him. Well. anyway, We sthruck cut TO-
gether the same day and asst a Brook
iyn trolley line for a job. think "a
sey's d Mason or an y 2. A, but he
made some passes 81 the sup rIntendent
and they made him a conductor an me
motorman. IT'S always ike that; he's
been doin' me for years, and whin he
landed in the Santa Claus job an me
sellin bokays / could stand il no longer
That's all.
Now" continued the sergeant, that's
the way Gaffney told it L me. But
guess the worst part OF II was the way
the thing -thranspircd.' as Father Kelly
would say. I was walkin' around lookin'
afther the bad corners when I noticed
new Santa Claus sthruttin' up an down
like the picther books. / think he had
a pillow inside but sure he was fat Ike
an painted up. wit long, white whiskers
and a fur coat 5 fine s any aethor.
They was a mob o kids round him an
him askin for their names an writin
down tn addresses in book. An twas
fine Tn kids al goin' up to m an
whisperin', an lOOkin sheepish when
they come away. That was Casey doin
Sanity Claus for a departmint store, but
1 didn't know IL was Casey thin.
SO l was Ioiterin' round watchin' III
kids an wishin' thin well, whin l noticed
a famished lookin faker near by sellin
holly wraiths An twas sad-for the
holly wrath business didn't go wit III
kids an Sanity Claus, lookin' fat an
sassy in his fur coat, was near bloclin
the sidewalk wit his popularity.
All, We lux like Lord Salisbury, I me,
I heard the faker say, sneerin' over at
Sanity Claus.
'Gwan. ye green-goods man says
Sanity. THROWN his whiskers kinda high,
an puffin' out his chest.
Now, twas like that it started. an the
kids all waitin' round for a chanst t tell
SANITY Claus their names an where they
lived. O. course, l didn't know that
Sanity Claus was Casey, nor that tn
other guy was Gaffney. / didn't find
that OUT till l booked the two o them.
So they chewed tn rag for few minits,
an tn children all wonderin' how Sanity
came to be so familiar like wit a sthreet
faker.
well, I seen Dooley havin' an argy-
ment out on III crossin' wit a thruck-
man an out l whit 10 arbithrate. Arbi-
thrations great when the stakes ism I
chained, an anyhow, Dooley makes
poor front in an argument. So I went out
an while / was fxin' things wit the
thruckman Sanity Claus and the faker
come together When | looked round
49, tt . - cid
walk an the faker that was Gaffney,
had Sanity by the whis1ers an Sanity was
screamin like a banshee He lost his
book, his toy bag was on tn top of his
head an things was lookin' bad for Ca
sey when l seen him.
But twas the children that tux me
then. Twas turrible for to see tn way
they tux on when Sanity got tn first
WALTON in tn nose. TIL blood sGuirted
over his rabbit-slxin coat, an half of his
whiskers was off before wan could say
Holy Mary Whether twas tn pillow
r tn whiskers, r maybe twas tn sur
prise, but anyhow SANITY Claus. that was
Casey, made a bad shown. The more
Ganney whopped him the more tn chill
dren howled, fr THEY thought twas the
real SANITY an him wit their names an
numbers all wrote in his book. An tn
book was out in tn sthreet an the faker
Some o. the kids had Gaffney by tn
coat tails. an some o them was kickin'
him in the shins. Twas the quaTest
thing ever seen tn way tn kids was all
fr Casey So I blew my whistle an
over comes Doolev on tn run fr { help
me stop The rite. Wan wallOp puts Gaff-
ney T. til bad. but Sanity Claus wouldn't
shtop. We went t tn granitoid thegether
an SANITY had my ear in his teeth he
- L aftafrf i'm
an kickin' me. Ye may blieve me. r
ye may not but pom me word. 1 felt
liketh man KILN Lord Cav-ndish.
20 course i knew that twasnt SANITY
Claus at ALL but they was no time for
TO pacify tn children an I'd rather have
a go in whisky row thin pinch Sanity
Claus agin. Tn sthreet was blocked In
tirely whin tn wagon came, an twas
iiIae. fr Casey was gittin his second
wind an I didn't want t do him. Now
We may say what We PLACE, but that's sin
timent. I couldn't get il out O MY head
that twas old Sanity himself l was slug
gin an nayther could tn kinds.
But at any rate. we put him in tn
wagon. him an Gaffney, an down tn
0threet wit fifty children scamperin'
along afther US TIL boys was no
worser'n TN gurruis, an they follied Us
al tn way TO Cultural Divil such a
Dooley stays at III corner where tn rite
started, an Sanity was hardly in tn
wagon whin tn kids begin rite o. their
own. Tin horns, monkey sthicks, ties av
all kinds was throuble thin-'casus belli,'
as Father Kelly says.
But ! booked thin, all right. on'y they
was a gang o kids rubberin IN tn door
1T SANITY an wan r two come i'm an stood
round whn tn dest sergeant says 10
SANITY Claus:
What's yer name?"
Casey, sorr.' says Sanity. wipin' N
blood or his nose.
An thin wan o. the kids sets up a
comallye that made NE sore fr Ny part
az IT, Wan SAYS;
Taint SANITY at all an thin they all
wiut out like lot o. motherless calves"
And when the sergeant ceased and for
n moment there was no word. he looked
puzzled and ashamed and them
rs there any pint { that sthory?'
But the police reporter only smiled when
Kelly stuck his head out Of the desk win
dow and asked
Il dunno; d you, sergeant"
''rh-th-th Kelly. but It's YOU IS dull
tn fine pint O. that sthory is tn way tn
kids stuck up fr Sanity Claus. AS IT
HE. Kelly. I've q hard time blleviu' IN
Oh holy mysteries, an as fr YOU. I
don't think you've enough sintiment Z
say an act o. conthrition. John II. Raj
terry.
The Conductors Story.
tfrom the Atlanta Cuustltu1t0n.9