davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Workmen in American guupowdcr
factories are not allowed to wear steel
or iron nailed shoes for fear the pos
sible friction may cause am explosion.
but this prCclution does not seem to- be
followed i'm certain factories abroad 4
report on q recent explosion in gun
powder factory iu Chuw0r.h England.
shows that it was due 90 one of thc
outside workmou. who was carrying
"a barrel OF powder 10 the corning
house, slipping ON the track of tbt
hand railway He wore hobnailcd
shoes. and contact with the rails
caused a spark, which ignited some
powder which had fallen from the
barrel The result was the death OF
six men and the iuiuring OF one other.
The Government inspector of cxplo.
sives eXOneratcd the company from
negligence. but in future such shoes
win not be allowed to be worn Iy FIN,
wOrkmeu and outside workmcu viii
not be omulavod.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Weave H. IS not often that one Or
as poets receives n fulsome compr
ment when we do. naturally we are
rather padai up about It,"
Singer Una means / suppose, that
you have bad q bouquet thrown at
you#
weaver Something iu that way T
overheard Barker say that my poetry
WASH, tns worst thing about me That
Is the incest thing anybody ever said
about mt VT tiDgs .ostou Trln-
script
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Love in cottage" isn't a circum.
stance to love in a drain pipe Thomas
Wright, an eel fisher Of Penley. Eng
land. having married recently has
taken his wife to live with him in his
drainpipe home. where he himself has
dwelt for the last fifteen years. This
singular home consists of two earthcu
pipes five feet six inches in diameter
and placed end to end. They were ler
over when Peters Fen was drained
forty years ago. Together they are
twenty feet long. and i'm the centre Is
the bedroom. Rush mats are on the
curved floor, and reed flowers decorate
the walls. The doors are of waite
fence covered with tarpaulins.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
Not to 10 neninh

WHAT exclaimed Mr. Cornerlawt.
"a dollar? You want a dollar for
moving this lawn. Why. it didn't
take you twenty minutes"
II know l wasn't very long mt it,"
replied Intermittcnt Ike. but yourl
have to admit that | done rattlin'
job."-Chicago Record Herald
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR
tAUcHTeR-PRoVokNc STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.

MY Head-rhe BIRD lie Can't Stand-Ths
inSigniicant Minority-Wanted Her
to Have the Best-ouits "a Annoying
His Last ChRnee-MisgivinEs. Etc.
My head is like a Factory:
The Windows are my eyes:
The Furnace Is my mouth-you see
feed II meats or pies
And when its Hunger / appease -
My Head will do its share.
Sometimes producing Rhymes like these
And sometimes only Hair
Frank Lesiie's Popular Monthly.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Perkins Young Sh1gsby has Sc
cured Job clerking Oh the top door
Of q department house"
Phil Ossuer-"O. That's the great
trouble with young men nowadays"
Pcrkins-"The great troublc?"
Phil Ossifc- Yes; they're not will
ing to begin az the bottom. Ohio
State Journal
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

He was obviously anxious. and she
seemed almost willing.
II shall refer you to papa said she.
with becoming blush. before giving
you finnl answer"
But l am perfectly willing to take
you without any reference" said he,
magnanimOusiy. indianapolis News.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
Hero HurIs the Accusation.

False! false! shrieked the hero Of
the latest dramatization in faIsetto
tones
do YOU say that to my face?"
screamed the heroine
Il say il to your very teeth" rOared
the herO.-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

you go to parliament in order to
make laws. do you not?' said the
more-or-less sarcastic British citizen.
We do sometimes" answered the
NJ. r.. who dearly loves a joke when
he makes it himself And sometimes
we 20 TO parliament in disorder to
make laws. Washington Star.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

IL don't see why you object to Amer.
lean capital assuming control in some
of your Affairs"
Perhaps iCs all right" answered
thc ewIn.u European parsonage.
Heretofore. lou see, we have been
accustomed tp selling You titles Of no
b.lity Whom Dc comes 10 a trausac
ton rhl involves actual value ON our
sid. oil " s0medow seems differ
emit"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
An Unns.ailabIe Po.ition.

Jones-"Well, Johnson placed him
self in an unassailable position before
he had anything to do with the other
man"
Smith-"HowY
Jones-"He was at the other end OF
the telephone. Detroit Free Press.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

NIisRIviDrs.

THAT was very lucid document
you prepared" said the friend.
Yes. answered the statesman dubi-
ously. Il made it so lucid that l am
afraid the public will fail to regard
ii rs able and profound. "-Washington
Star.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
The Eeat Thing Going.

Air exclaimed Mrs. Pepprey,
whom MI. Slocum had been entertain
ing with inane conundrums. that re-
minds me of the best thing going"
whats thatF" he asked.
"A man who has stayed too long. -
Philadelphia Press.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
What sh, rbourbt UnoD

jack called on Miss LOveigh last
night and found her absorbed with
thoughts of you"
Chollie-"Delighted to heah it, deah
boy! Did she tell you SOP
Jack-"Well, she said she was think
ing of nothing in particular. Harlem
Life.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
Homeless Case

Merchant-"Did you call on Owens
to-day"
COllectOr-"Yes. sir"
Merchant-"Did he pay anything on
account?"
CollectOr-"No. sir 1 couldn't even
get him to pay any attention to me-
Chicago News
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
Quite aa Anpoying.

"The mother-in-law joke is obsolete"
Yes answered the young duke
with debts; but this father-in-law
joke is getting mighty tiresome. -
Washington Star.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Jack Bachelor (enthusiastically)-
well. old chap, Miss Fluffy has ac-
cepted me-"
Bob Borrowitt Him Well. lend me
ten dollars while you've got it, will
yOu?"-Puck
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
CURIOUS FACTS.

The first directory published in Bos.
ton was published by John Norman at
divers Dock in l7S0 IL contained
14T3 names. whereas the directory OF
1872. about 100 years aftcrward. cor.
tanned 102. III names.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
The Insignidcant Minority.

PA. what is q quorum
Sonny, it is when there are SO few
of us home to dinner that your moth
er won't cut the cake"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
The Bird He Can't stand.

rs your parrot amiable2"
well. we never dare leave him
alone with the cuckoo clock. Chicago
RCcOrd-Herald
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13
wanted Her to Have the Best.

Nell-"Rather conceited. isn't he:"
Belief should say so. He said
the best was none too good for me. and
then he proposed. philadelphia Rec
ord.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Something like the prehistoric cliff
jewellers Of our Southwest is John Bar
ney, an English freak, who for sever
years has lived. moved and had his
being in n niche in a disused quarry II
what is known in England as the New
Forest. His carpet is pine bouGhs ant
his table is a fat stone His household
goods consist OF n tin mug. knife and
an iron plate. He gave up the trade OF
carpenter because he wanted to be
more free. His wants are so simple
that he earns more than he can spend
by collecting faggots and sharing anC
stufting weasels. which he sells in
town.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Low. q Tenn.
sylvania couple. were born on the same
day firty-Scvcn years ago. were never
separated Il day during their thirty
years OF married life. and died on the
same day recently. They were buried
in double grave.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

as Canton ONO the "kid wagons"
as the vehicles are called which are
used to transport tne youngsters to
and frey iho schools under llc new
system hate window md do0rs aud
are covered vita enamel cloth.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Father. boa our affection. by Thy very
Presence. unseen yet known mud pre-
cious. comfort us; in our need lee the
exceeding greatness Of Thy power np
pear boz Our weakness Thine ahsv1dinr
grace bc perfected. ir go our suffering
burden hcartaChc. our grief. our SIN. %
God may thy love that rpver failrtb
Thy love deeper than thought. or Iifc
Or being. Thy low" that is Thy Self bo
known Go as. ana bring us pence
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

1t has been calculated that The hair
OF the beard grows at the rate of o-e
and half lines a week. This Will
give Il length of six and half inches
in the course of a year. For a man
eighty years of age, no less than TWEEN
ty-seven feet Of beard must have fallen
before the edge OF the razor.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Among the curious things to bc seer
at the Glasgow Exhibition are a pair
of curling stones which belong TO Si:
Walter Scotr and a pair owned by
Lord COckburn, Lord Chief Justice
There are also 10 be seen three single
stones which were in use over ion
years ago, one Of which has a ring at
tachment and another tue more mod
cru handle.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

There are certain prawns along the
coasts of England that change theii
color at least twice every twenty-fouI
hours. in order to harmonic with the
stronger or the weaker light near the
surface or in deep water. AS night
comes on they lose their distinctive
day color and take on transparent
azure hue. The change is an interest
ing and beautiful process. First there
is reddish glow followed by a green
tinge. which melts gradually into blue
I is said that the change has become
so habitual that specimens kept wholly
in the light or wholly in the dark un.
dergo 1t regularly.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Here is girl practising music. Sh.
doesn't expect Co play the Songs
without WorlF right away She knows
there is NOTHING for it hut drudgcry with
the scales Yet m che matter of prnc
tising Christianity somehow wc nll ex-
poet 30 become Iadcrcwsyis bon "a single
lcss0n.-B Russell Scvau
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-08-13

Many ARE so busy shouting "Ad-
vanco'" fi1t fHr- have mo- breath to ask
wIthrr 'uF t.r going Henry Seton
Nerriman
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

seminary funds during the year
1901 and 1902.
To appropriate money for the
state sinking fund, to be used
in the redemption and purchase
of state bonds during the years
1901 and 1902.
TO appropriate money for the
support of the public schools of
the state.
To appropriate money for the,
cost of assessing and collecting
the revenue for the years 1901
anu 1902, including contingent
expenses of the State Board
ST Equa Iization.
TO redistrict the state into.
judicial circuits and to fix the
terms of court therein, creating
a new circuit and providing for
the appointment of judge
therein.
Submitting to the qualified
voters of the state an amend.
ment to Section II, Article 10
of the constitution of Missouri.
Relating to the taxation of
bridges and the real and per-
sonal property and franchises
of Telegraph, telephone and ex.
press companies.
Relating to registration in
cities having a population of
%, 900 inhabitants and less than
100, 900 inhabitants oy adding a
new section thereto to be
known as Section 7205A.
Governor Dockery today signed
three bills, the one introduced
by Delzell making the operat.
ing of a slot machine or auv
other gambling device either
for money or trade u felony, the
bill approprieting money for
tho paymedt of the civil of.
ficers and tn, act introduced by
Senator Tandy amending the
outterine law and fixing pen.
alties. There are yet 1OS bills
in the hands of Governor Dock.
cry awaiting his fignature.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28
Mother Meredith's Call
by Sarah Avery Faunce.

quiet l1dl evening, even ldhluS
into account the facts that it
was Monday, and that the af
ternoon had been spent in a
round of parish calls.
Have you had a trying day,
dear?" his wife asked, as they
sat together in the freight.
mo. Katherine, but 1 have
had a call
What? Where? Who? Why
didn't you tell me before?"
Because it came only this
afternoon. 1t was from Mother
Meredith"
Russell Armstrong, what
are you talking about: This
isn't the first of April" said
Mrs. Armstrong, rather indig.
nantly. for she lived in con.
slant expectation that some day
Il hourishing church with Il
large field and high standing
would feel that her husband
was the one needed to fill its
pulpit.
Mother Meredith was wiz.
ow, whose own children had
long ago grown up and moved
away, while she still kept on
in the old place, mothering
everything, from lame dogs to
young ministers, with loving
impartiality which left moth.
ing to be desired.
She was at church yesterday
morning." Mr.. Armstrong con-
tinued.
LAS usual, the dear old saint"
said his wife.
She wished that she could
be a Mormon"
There had been in Westdale
within a few weeks two ardent
apostles of Brigham Young,
distributing leaflets, which set
forth tie advantages, both here
and hereafter, of belonging to
the "One great church of God. ;"
Awful visions of the good old |
lady as their proselyte fitted |
through Mrs. Armstrong; mind |
as she waited for her husband |
to tell the rest of his story.
Il dropped in to see her this
afternoon for a few minutes
chat and bit of the tonic that |
such talk always gives. We
had talked of the good collec.
ton for the Church Building
Society, and of the large con.
gregation at the morning ser.
vice, when she exclaimed, sud |
denly, Well, I never wished
till yesterday that l was a Nor.
mon woman, but l sha'n't dare
to say a word against 'em ever
again, for I'd like to 'a'been one
for three minutes
" Why, Mother Meredith, II
SAID, have those remarkable |
tracts about town corrupted
you so soon?'
No, but after | got home
from meetin', 1 KEEP a sayin', II
wish l was Mr.. Armstrong's
wife, To tell the truth, Kath.
crime, l was a little embarrass.
ed for a second, despite the
difference in our ages and the
pleasing recollection that the |
law of the land would admit no
such possibility, so rallied my
common sense and waited.
If 1 had a.beeu, I'd asked
you three questions that might |
have helped you to be some
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

self, What's that got to do with
Silas's fighting liquor torments
and Susan Whitmarsh gettin'
heartened up some against this
weeks pile O. blues?"
Here 1 picked up courage, "
said Mr.. Armstrong. Ito ask
her if she supposed that l could
cover in one sermon the troub.
les Of a whole congregation.
No, 1 don't said she, but
1 do believe you've got a call to
tell folks here in Westdale
bout kingdom that's higher
than Victoria's even if they do
brag about hers bein' so unit
ed
Don't you think, l asked,
that 4 minister should try to
lead his people into principles
of good government
" L guess, she answered,
slowly, if I'd been called to be
a shepherd, instead of tellin'
the sheep all about Il pack O.
wolves a.quarrelin' an tightin'
over in the next field, l should
have tried, first of all, to lead
'em into a good, fresh pasture
of the Lords love an got 'em a
drink of the water of life. Folks
talk lot about politics, an
they do need fiXin', that's a fact,
but I've always reckoned that
the place to 40 it warn't the
Lords house. There was
spell. about the middle of your
sermon, when l thought you
was really goin' to preach, -.
that time when you said the
lynn about
How shall l follow Him l
serve?"
Jesus didn't say to Peter,
Now, Peter, when I'm gone,
you just go to work an git this
Roman government on good
basis though | guess Peter
was as capable as some there
be nova days, an likely would
"a been glad O. the job. But
he says, peter, there's lot O.
my sheep starvin' right here
round home. where there's good
pasture land a plenty. See if
you can't coax 'em to stop
croppin' poor stuff an eat some
thin sustainin'. An here's my
lambs, Peter. | know you're
real tender feelin'; see if you
can't cosset 'em up mite, an
give 'em some good, warm milk
O. the Word "
Then she put her tender old
hand on my shoulder, and said,
oh, I'm sure the Lord would a
deal rather you'd let Him do
the turnin' an overturnin' of the
nations and put out all your
strength to feed those that's in
your care, so that they'll get
more comfort themselves, an
be Il credit to Him who has
branded 'em with His own
blessed name >"
The minister's voice broke in
a sob.
Katherine" he said, when
speech came again, do you,
too, hear my call to higher
things? With Gods help. from
this time, I will throw away
the husks that have been Civ.
ing my people, and give them
food"
George Herbert saw the
need when he said,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

Mrs. 9. 4, VanDeusen, OF Kilbouru, Wis. was
Injected with stomache trovble aud constlpat.
many preparations but none have done me-
me good that Chamberlain's Stomach and
dyer Tablets have" These Tablets are for
cents. Samples free. %
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28
New Missouri Laws.

tomorrow. Following are some
of the bills passed, which have
been approved by the governor
Among these the most i'm.
portant is the law taxing pub.
lie franchises:
To provide for the assessment
and taxation of public fran
chises.
To regulate the practice of
medicine, surgery and mid.
wifery and to prohibit treating
the sick and afflicted without a
license, and to provide pen
alties for the violation thereof.
Submitting to the qualified
voters an amendment to the
constitution of Missouri, repeal
ing section 90, article 9, and
enacting a new section in lieu
thereof.
Requiring corporations own
ing or operating railroads in
this state to maintain depots
with resident agents in charge
thereof at all places upon said
railroads where depots have
been erected in consideration Of
the right of way over any tract
or tracts of land for such rail
road, or in consideration of
donations to the corporation
building or constructing such
railroad.
To create a state board of
arbitration and mediation for
the settlement of differences
between employers and en-
ployers and employees, and to
dime the pow ers and duties of
said board with an emergency
clause.
Submitting to the qualified
votes OF the safe an amendment
to the constitution repeating
sections % and 90 of article 10.
Petitioning Congress to call
convention proposing amend.
medt to constitution to elect
United States Senators by
direct vote of the people.
To apportion the State of Mis-
souri, into representative dis
trict and to provide for the re-
presentation thereof.
Submitting to the qualified
votors of Missouri an amend.
ment to the constitution thereof
concerning taxation.
Providing for the registration
of voters for primary purposes
in all cities Of this state which
now have or which may here
after have over 100000 lnha bit
ants; governing primary elect
ions therein; providing for the
temporary organization of pol
itical conventions composed OF
delegates elected therein; the
election of memberc of political
committees; defining offenses
and prescribing penalties for
violating the provisions of this
act.
Relating to primaries in cities
containing 100000 inhabitants
or over, with an emergency
clause
To prohibit managers. trus-
tees, officers and employees OF
police and electioni boards,
eleemosynary and educational
from being interested, directly
or indirectly, in contracts for
work and supplies for said in
situations, and providing for
their removal and for penalties
for violation of this act, with
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

IL edSleI W ncdl my Olu "Oul-
ans talk While 1 settled my.
self for the double treat, she
settled herself to give the ad.
vice,
L guess that first I'd said,
well, husband, who of the
Lords children was at church
today an what did they seem
to need?" Then I'd let you
think about EN-.
There was Silas Martin first.
He amt been out to meetin be
fore his wife died. an you know
he's trying to let liquor alone
an be a decent sort of man.
- There was Mary Osgood.
She lives with chat raspin' aunt
of hers, who would put any
good, self.respectin' file to
shame if it once see how she can
do work. Mary's got means,
but, dear Sakes, she don't have
no peace of mind from one weeks
end to another.
" Mis- Holbrock was out.
too. | s'pose her husbands
smart enough man, good pro-
wider an all that, but, when it
comes to religion, he amt any
great on sympathy.
" Then up in the singers
seats was that pretty little
Nellie Shaw. Somehow she al.
ways puts me in mind OF rosy
checked apple that was good
an sound till somebody put it
in amongst lot of half-spiled
ones. That child needs a little
bit of sly.handed warnin' from
somewhere.
" Now you'll want drink of
spring water after that sugar,
won't you? and she hurried out
to get it for me, coming back
with a hospitable smile that re.
vived me more than the water.
1 suppose you noticed
Cap'n Hodges wife? Queer, |
amt it, how quick folks forget
how the Lords led 'em through |
deep waters an never failed 'em
once? Seems if just as soon as
she had that money come. so
unexpected, she kind of put her
soul into Il colander, with all
her good feelin's let through,
an only dry, chippy ones lett
to live on.
Il couldn't keep my eyes off
Susan Whitmarsh. What a time
she does have! Nobody in the
family ever got into the habit
of dyin, as I know of, but they
do make terrible dreary work of
Twin. Somehow she never had |
a real, consolin', upliftin' sorrer
that you could feel to sympa-
thize with her for, right to her
face, but, if l was in her place,
l should feel as if the furniture
had all been taken out of my |
house an a lot of tombstones
moved in bv mistake. >"
Mr.. Armstrong paused in his
story to take breath and lose
himself III thought.
We'll, was that all she
said? What has that to do with
a call? his wife asked present.
ly.
mo, that was not all. 1t was
only the beginning, but it set
me to thinking then as it has
now. After she had given me
time 10 see in my own mind who
had sat before me, she went on.
Then | should have asked,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

For LIFE, HEALTH AND ACCIDENT
INSURANCE, in one of the best CID
LINE companies in America. with
lowest premium rates call on
G. o. MAYES, Agt Monroe City. Mo.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

w. II. RUTLEDGE, Dentist
The saving ofteeth speciality. Office
in Redman block, over Variety
Store. Telephone SO.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

DIR ARCH e. ELY, Dentist,
Saving Natural Teeth Specially. Office in
Elys Private Hospital, Corner Summer and
Davis SITS.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

To appropriate money for th'
payment of the interest on tn,
bonded Indebtedness of the
state and the certificate of in.
debtedness issued aud held il
trust for the state school and
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-03-28

seminary funds during the year
1901 and 1902.