davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
TOO GOOD TO TALK ABOUT.

st. Louis Post-Dispatch
Here is a down South story that il
credited to Walker Hill, the banker:
Two colored citizens sat in a skif in tha
creek that runs longside Mr.. Hills old
home in Virginia. They were fishing and
resting. Suddenly Sam, who had been
lazily bordering, said to Bill:
Say Bill, wha' d you think is de bes'
thing in de WORT to eat, huh?"
Well said Bill after giving the mat
ter that due consideration that it's eray-
ity demanded, Il kinder think de hes
thing in de worl' to ca. would be one o.
dem fine yeller leg chickens, fr ed in lie
pan an cooked wild good cream gravy,
OATS my 'pinion. Wha' d. you think is
de bes' thing in de worl to eat. Sam?"
Sam did not hesitate a moment. Fl 8
answer came out promptly and most de-
cidedly
My pinion de hes thing in de worl'
to eat is a good ole possum and sweet
taters"
Biff! Bill hit him a sounding whaclo on
the side of the head and Sam fell into the
creek. He came UP foundering AMI puff
ing like narwhal.
you blame fool" he sputtered. "wha'
d you do dat fer?'
Cause, niggah, you wan unstsnd 6at
OATS entirely=tees good thing for a
common niggah to. talk about" said BIZ.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
WHAT GOLF COSTS US.

Gustave Kobbe in Harper's Weekly.
1t is within bounds to say that this
country spends at least $15,c0o060 a year
on golf. Fifteen million dollars is large
amount even to an American. Few of us
have that mrch pocket money. yet l be-
lieve the sum To- he vel! within bounds
when "eHllnn;pg TT tie annual ex'"f.'li-
lures for golf Remember that a few
years ago the Morris County Golf club,
at Morristown, N. J.. although already
Boosting fine ami extensive links. added
in enc purchase $50, coo worth of land 10
it's possessions, 50 that club house and
links now represent an expense OF about
$3.50 Oc0; that the Midlothian County club.
near Chicago. represents a. least an equal
amount OF expenditure and owns rail-
road two miles long. over which the Golf
Limited" conveys members of the club
from the Blue Island station of the Chi
cago, Rock Island & Pacific railway TO
the club house.
In round numbers there are a thousand
listed tlu5s IN the United States bat
there must be many more. myself be-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

his term, do not want him reelected. there
certainly must be some good reason for
the opposition that is so generally mani
tested Surely there is no one so I'M
reasonable as to try to say that all these
10000 are "disgruntled and disappointed
off1eeSeekers. The governor hardly had
that many applicants altogether Nor
does there appear to be any just cause
why these eco of apparently independ mt
men should surrender their ideas and con-
vtctions and bow to the will Of a handful
of grasping politicians, banded together
for the purpose of cornering the political
market Of the state 1t would seem that
the 10000 ought to have the right of ex-
pressing their preferences If this ring Of
four or five presumes TO dictate the policy
of the entire party.
The truth is that the Apoka Herald has
been very conservative in saying that
there are $4,000 or 10000 Republicans who
do not want Gov. Van SAINT renominated
or reelected Judging from the returns
which came in last fall 1t would seem
that the number is much larger. NO
doubt the Minneapolis Journal and tho
others who argue that Gov Van SAINT
cannot be reelected, are basing their
statements upon these and other facts.
By what method OF calculation 1t is fG-
ured out that the man who runs 1900
behind his ticket in a presidential year.
with a side partner on the ticket, too,
can be reelected in an off year with no
one in the field upon whom to lean, is
certainly mysterious, to say the least.
Speaking of gangs and such things, the
following from the Madelia Messenger
might be pertinent:
The dominating influence Of de gang"
has made a lot of country newspaper
boys lay down the party pencil and fight
for locality. If the Democratic cities are
to have all the officers it IS only justice
that the Democratic cities elect the gov
ernor hereafter. The country has elect
ed Republican governors. senators and
congressman since Minnesota has been
a state and allowed the cities to re-
ceive all the benefits. Hereafter it is up
to the cities to do the work
On the heels of this effusion from the
Messenger comes the little st. Paul Re
view which some people say is the Off
cial mouthpiece of the gang, with this
one:
That refrain sounds familiar 1t has
been sung before. and is more of swan
song than anything else. We notice that
the country districts never forget to como
to the cities for campaign funds. For
some reason or other they are long on
demands Of this sort and short on help.
Does the Messenger deem this considera-
ton OF any moment?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
EVANS AND TIE c. a p

The settlement of the heated issue be-
tween Gen. Sickles and his comrades of
the G. A. r. on the one side and Com
missioner Evans. the national Republican
committee and the president on the other
ought to be deferred to some later day
and more favorable weather. 1t has thus
far been fought out with entirely unneces-
sary vehemence; and the general public
which is not interested in pensions save
to have their amount greatly reduced,
would be convenienced by an adjournment
being taken.
Gen. Sicldes is ordinarily an irrascib!e
man. He is gifted with the gift of plain
speaking. They say that he is apt to
forget antecedent statements, and to in
sist on his present opinions without re-
gard to any change which time or cir
cumstances may have wrought in them.
But none of them can say that he was
not good soldier. that he is not a
man or honor, or that he does not be-
speak the opinions and preferences OF
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

What does Gen. Gomez want? He is
here on some kind of mission. no one
knows what. 1t was rumored that his
visit had something to do with the o
Cuban bonds. Then again, it was sng-
gested that there was a political sdgnifi-
cence in the visit, Gomez would he
Cuba's first president and go down in
Cuban history as the first in war. the
first in peace and the first in the hearts
Of his countrymen. In this role of father
of his country he is hopelessly handl-
capped He never cut down a cherry tree
and has been suspected OF telling what
was not the actual truth at least twice N
his life. If Gomez is here to get pointers
on the personal and political career of
George Washington We respectfully refer
him to a fellow by the name of Gross
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
THE MARTIAL SPIRIT.


sf@ a. &c.
III tUC
When the line,
Guns aSnine, III IS
TramDs the street in cadence fine,
The martial spirit thrills one like the
nectar ofnold wine.
And the heart
With a start M @ aS
Throbs in synfpathy with those that play
cd the greafer, grander part
When the flag, az
Ribboned rag -
Inspiration seems to drag
From the loudly. roaring Springfield and
the snap4g Acraclling Kras.
Every eye -
Gazes high
Win the sacred love of country as its
banner flutters by.
When the sweet.
Wild Retreat"
Halts the swift, pursuing feet
OF the charging soldiers pressing home
the burden of defeat.
Every drum
Thunders Come.
And the spirit of the nation makes their
purple. pressed lips dumb.
Will L. Maiden.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
FUR Their PROOF Is READY.
GOVERNOR AS ICEMAN

New York World
A prominent New York CITY Repub-
lican who went to Newburg to see Gov.
Odell on Friday found him delivering Ice
en- one Of his fathers ice wagons The
visitor was turning from one of the
streets leading up the steep hill from the
river lie was just passing the Palendne
MOTEL when CHEEKY voice sung out:
Hello! What are you doing up here?"
The visitor looked in the direction
whence came the voice and saw the
governor of the state standing on the
back Of an ice wagon posing a fifty
pound chunk of ice
On the sidewalk watching the governor
was his intimate friend, Capt Joe"
DiclIey
The captain was giving the governor
advice about his job when the New YorB
visitor came along.
Look out, Ben. that lump is over
weight" he was saying.
IN bet you it isn't" responded tho
governor. You must think I've forgot
ten my business. I'll bet there isn't hala
a pound overweight"
The captain was about TO accept the
wager when the governor caught sight Of
the New Yorker and hailed him He
passed the fiftY-pound chunk over to tho
regular iceman and shook hands with
his visitor
81 was just having a bit Of exercise"
he explained. up in Albany there is lit
tie opportunity for exercise, and I've
been enjoying myself here at home for
a week getting my hand back I'm prac-
tice
Il used to serve ice to the merchants
and they have been having a lot Of fun
with me today I've really enjoyed tho
two hours I have been travelling abous
with the wagon. Come up to the City
club and Wen talk
On the way to the club the governor
spoke to more than nifty men The ola
men all called him Ben" and he called
them by their first names.
The governor delivered ice in NeWburg
for three or four years before he took
an interest In nOlitica -
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

long to a club within little more than
an hours railroad ride from New York.
but it has not yet got into the Guido"
How many more clubs must there be that
have escaped notice. The total number
easily is 1900, although l think 200 IS
small aggregate to allow as having escap-
ed the Official eye. Considering that tho
Country club Of Brockline. Mass. has $50
members, and that it is not at all extra
ordinary to find golf clubs with over SEQ
members, 1t is net unreasonable 10 allow
an average membership OF 10000. In New
York city there ara two thousand players
who are not members of amy club. Golf
ers of this class throughout the country
must aggregate at least $4,000. so that
the golfers of America may be put down
at 150OC0 strong Certaiply 1t Is Tot too
much to allow an average annual expense
of $1co each, which makes the total $l5,-
900 900.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
THE cRETlN COLLABORATION.

The Catholics, not only Of S.. Paul but
of the entire Northwest, have Just cause
for pride in the wonderful pu5lic Demon
stration made in this city yesterday. It
is of course quite natural that those en-
gagged in the immediate field Of Bishop
Crelin's labors should regard with much
satisfaction the mighty results which
have flown from those labors, and be
rather disposed to place a free estimate
ON them But when such an anniversary
as that celebrated yesterday is capable of
bringing together such q throng of rep
resentatives of the church from all over
the country as appeared in st. Paul, there
is little to do save to join in the ex-
preston OF the wonder which the oc-
casfon must produce.
Fifty years is but an hours space in
the history of any people. Yet we here
In st. Paul have witnessed in that brief
space results the like of which have not
been produced in centuries before. The
marvellous growth which has been In
progress throughout this entire country
since the moundation of the republic has
aroused the admiration and wonder of
the world. The progress which las prevail,
ed in the growth of the Catholic church
and the propagation of the Catholic faith
in the United States in the past fifty
years. in and out of st. Paul, represents
even a greater marvel.
The Catholic church might be said to
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
the rank and file Of the Grand Army or

the rank and file of the Grand Army or
ganization.
On the other hand. Pension Commission
er Henry Clay Evans is conceded to be
a careful and conscientious official, the
worst charge against him being a dis
position to give the pension claimant the
worst Of It, If he gets a reasonable chance.
That he is or was a good official he is
able to adduce the testimony of Gen.
Sickles himself to prove, as he is to show
that his official conduct was entirely &C
ceptable in the past to the G. A. R. or
ganization.
But it is beyond all reasonable ques-
ton that, for some cause adequate in
their view, the leaders among the old
were able to secure the promise from
the Republican national committee that
Evans would be removed in case Nc
Ainley was reelected Evans and his
statement of the promise by alleging that
Sickles and his friends speak for the
pension agents. and that he is obnoxious
not to the rank and file Of the old SOL
diers, but to the pension sharks who
are uneasy at the restraints which he
has been able to place upon them in their
raids on the national treasury.
It Is pretty mess as it stands. 1t is
a fight of politicians. Evans at the best
has to do with pensions not yet granted.
His adminiStr alton of the office does not
materially affect the essential principles
which underlie the pension laws. The
fault found with him is one which the
general public will sustain him in. Wheth-
er Sickles speaks for the bona fde old
soldier, or for him who has been de-
scribed as ''the pension hummer" and
whether the promise which sickles quotes
was or was not given, it must be ad-
mitted, at this stage of the controversy
Evans and against his assailants.
Since there is no political campaign in
sight, and the promises of the national
committee are not impossible Of perform
ance in the future, when the pressure
can be made much greater than it can
in an off year, it might be well if
Gen. Sickles and his friends would ac-
cept the situation as it stands, and rec
ognize that Evans pull Is just at this
time little too much for them.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

The preachers of Omaha have resorted
to the time-honored injunction to stop
the threatened bull fight at South
Omaha The bull will be brought into
court constructivefy. and there his
status as a. part of the community will
be determined. Inasmuch as the
promoters of the buiI fight promise that
not a hair of the bulls head shall be
touched, the anxiety of the good preach
ers on behalf of the male COW does not
clearly appear. There is a precedent for
this action. however, in the order of
Judge Gildersleeve. of New York. on
the afternoon of the late black Thurs
day. In that case a temporary injunc-
ton was issued against the Wall street
bulls in the shape of an order to show
cause why they should not back out of
the arena and quit gorlng the lambs.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

1t is reported that Secretary Wilson Is
jubilant over the prospects of this coun-
try producing enough beet sugar to sup
ply the home demand. He claims that
the beet industry will enrich the farmers
who go into 1t. Sure it will. The country
paid over $l5,0ooGOO to these beet sugar
growers last year. This would help to
enrich them even if they did not grow
beet. The cheaper way for the country
would be to pay all beet growers a pen
sion to keep them still and open Up the
markets to sugar which is grown in a.
sugar climate. Artificial prosperity is
always expensive.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
At THE THEATERs.

The Criterion Stock company, at the
Metropolitan opera house this week. is
drawing crowds In spite OF the hot
weather. The advance sale for the spe-
cial matinee this afternoon is very large,
and the indications are that the house
will be filled for this performance this
afternoon, and the Saturday matinee also.
The Metropolitan is the best ventilated
and cooled theater In the world. The
theater is supplied with water from an
artesian well sunk to q depth of nearly
500 feet. This water comes to the sur
face ice cold, and is forced by pumps
through coil Of 500 pipes, the extreme
length of which is over 700 feet. These
pipes are set at the junction Of the audi
forum and stage, and air is forced
through the ice-cold coils by three fans
with combined strength Of twenty
horse power into the chambers under the
parquet and circle, rising through the
apertures in the floor into the body of
the house. By this cold air current the
temperature Of the house may be lowered
twenty degrees.
Tonight (F'riday) the Minnesota State
band will again be heard at Como park.
There are eight numbers on the pro-
gramme as follows:
March 'LaGraine" ........ Came
OVerture-'B Barber of Seville -. Rossini
trombone Soto-ConcertO.. =. Novakansky
Mr.. John Hansen.
Valse Espagnole-"Cuban Bios
SONS .;..,:....i: -. ..........,.. Selling
t franz! Se1ectlonE''11 Lucia 49,. .Donizetri
caprice Variable Trot du
SdValler .,:.,::.t,,. ;.............. Spindler
PGGt t = Hottest Coon in
c Town 49,. Marion
Galiop-"M Merry Wives of Wind
sor .....!................. Nicoiai
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

Although Uncle Sam is anxious to for
get the Maine, there are others who In
sist on remembering it-especially those
having claims against Spain on account of
the supposed explosion. 1t will be remem-
bered that President Mckinley cited the
blowing up of the Maine as one of the
causes for armed intervention, insisting
that a government that was unable to
protect neutral vessels in her harbors
had forfeited all claim to sovereignty.
The administration desired to forget
this. but. like the Teller resolution, it
will not be forgot.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

1t is refreshing to note that. amid the
alleged corruption of the municipal af-
fairs Of the city up the creek, the
courts are bound to maintain their dig
nifty. The giver Of tips, Mr.. OBrien, has
been found gully of contempt of court
and fined $25. 1t ought to have been
$1O0. When the toughs get to the point
where they can monkey with the courts
with impunity, it is time for a vigilance
committee presided over by Judge Lynch.
Minneapolis is to be congratulated upon
the possession Of a judge who has the
backbone to protect the ermine.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
Said BY THE YOUNGSTERS

Hostess-And does your mother allow
you to have TIVE pieces of pie when you
are at home, Willie?
Willie (who has asked for the second
p1ece9-No, ma'am.y
Hostess-Well do you think she would
IKE you to have two pieces here?
Willie (conidently)-Oh she wouldn't
care This isn't her pie, you know.
W0-----
Dolly Is firm believer In the aIl-wIse
and a1l7see1ng power of her Creator. but
she Is also most devoted mother to a
family of six bisque and kid and Waxen
babies. On Sunday incoming nurse came
nome from church and found Dolly -busily-
pressing out a dolls dress with a toy
hatiron: Nurse fixed her charge with a
stern. reprovfng eye. This is Sunday
she said-just as If Dolly didn't know TIE
duilest day of the seven. you should
not labor on the Lord S day" Dolly lifted
pink face and smiled serenely God
knows this little iron isn't hot" she sad.
One of the first things to attract tte
attentlon Of Baby Clarence waa grand
ma hat rack, made of a pair of deer
horns. One afternoon when he was three
years old his papa took him to Captain
G.s park. When relating the inciE ents
OF the trip to his mama on their return
he exclaimed: And, OH. mamai saw a
deer and he had a hat rack ION his headi''
vMalbel's mother was showing her a
brood Of chickens Matched in IAN inouba-
tor. '"They are poor little orphans" said
the mother ~ teaTq ~ foe1 80
An is that the orphan asylum? asked
Mabel, pointing in wonder at the incu-
bator.
"Why, Johnnie! What in the word do
you want to be newsboy for?''
SOS l can jump on and off the 'lectric
cars"
A little girl went out to play one day
In the fresh, new snow, and when she
came in she said: mama, couldn't In
praying when 1 was out at play
What did you pray for, my dear?"
L prayed the snow prayer. mama, that
1 heard in Sunday school"
THE snow prayer! What do you mean,
little one?' 1aa
Il mean the. beautiful snow PRAYER in
the Bible, mama. You know 1t says.
Wash me and I shall be whittier than
snow"
Enjoy your party, Bobby?"
eyes ma :"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

A report comes from England that
Christian Science is making great head
way among the aristocracy and has in
vaded even the royal circles. If this
craze will only spread to the other courts
of Europe it will save the anarchists a
great deal of trouble. The fad will ac-
compiish what dynamite has failed to
bring about-annihilation All that is
needed is time
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

Earl Russell knelt before the bar Of
the house of lords. We wonder If his
soul knelt when he crooked the pregnant
hinges of the knee?" This kneeling may
be custom honored by time, but to the
American mind it is custom that would
be more honored In the breach than in
the observance.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

The ministers at Pekin are worse than
petit jury when it comes to agree
Ing on the simplest matters of detail.
Now they are hopelessly tangled up over
the kinds CT bonds to be issued to pay
the indemnity and the rate of interest
they shall bear. A body Of ordinary
business men would settle a detail like
that in twenty minutes.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

Phillips, the man who cornered corn
and thereby gained the title of corn king,
is himself being cornered by a customer
who demands an account Of the inside
workings of that great corn deal In re-
Spouse to this demand the board of trade
of Chicago has given Phillips until
August / to make things plain to his
doubling customer. A king may have
his troubles It seems.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

The country Is enjoying the longest hot
wave of the century. On every hand one
hears the expression, isn't this WARP"
We all know what war Is.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

Columbia has won a boat race and is
accordingly elated. DID any one ever
know college athlete to amount to any,
thing after he left college?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04
Nos a DInpIe.

Pittsburg chronicle-Telegraph
He-Is dat a dimple in yo' chin?
She-Nopey. l got dat when we cut TO
6e prize at de card panty.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

vernon. OF ohio-the latest authority on
things pertaining to Father George.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

Enjoy your party, Bobby?"
Eyes, ma"
well, what girls did you dance with:
ooh, 1 didn't dance. 1 had three fights
| licked him every time. New York
Press
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-04

why, Johnnie! What in the word do
you want to be a newsboy for?''
SOS can jump on and off the 'lectric
cars"
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1901-10-19
THE cHApERoNE IN THE SOUTH
u.,.bes Like Cerberus over the
comIngs and Going OF Her
Young Charge.

In many parts Of the old south the
cbaperon exceeds chaperonage and be-
comes a parsonage only one remove
tror, q duenua. In society the south
err GIRL is under the faithfuleye OF TINS
feminine Cerberus, or she is with her
mother or an elderly relative writes
Ms Garfield. in Woman's Home Com
na,ion. No tete-a-tete buggy rides
for her by moonlight! In many sec
,iops no tete-a-tete buggy rides for her
in plaring sunlight No dusky stroli'
accompanied only by the signing
swain! strephon signs like bellows
hut he must do it decOrously' II ne
aals he is not bothered by extraneous
nersous in the drawing-room; out ten
o,clock Is bedtime and his adieuN are
Inc Nor is he supposed to cling des'
nsratelv TO the front steps with the
soles Of his shoes, and explain ina
nar,ing is such sweet sorrow. lie /
snnposed TO 90, and he goes. lhes'
nrecautions are not because the glri
I srnnosed to be unable TO take care o
/. araslfn She is unaware that an occa
n sion might arise when she would De rt
t 1uired to display such ability Inc
d ar. because it is the purpose OF ne
Guardians that she shall not be place
:. in a position where she woulu
a obl;ped TO stake care of herself.