The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-12-15

Of all the articles of furniture which enter into the domestic economy of family with their first baby, not one carries with it more clements of uncer-
 tainty, not to say profanity. than a
 babys crib. It is one of the things which is always in the wrong place. and Is sure to turn up at inopportune times and in unexpected and altogether un- necessary places. No man was ever known to find his way about a dark room without collding with one, if there culator or keenness of foresight will ever enable male biped to locate one with sufficient acc tracy to prevent him falling over it in a twentyfoot room in the dark.
 The other night when Mir. Mucklewhite came home he found new and elabo- rate specimen of the article occupying a prominent place in the bedroom, with ed away in it, and Mrs. Muckewhite lowering about it in a iutter of delight and admiration.
 Huh" eiaculate1 Mir. Mucklewhite, where'd you find that thing?'
 Bought it at bargain sale this morn ing" replied his wife and only paid six dollars for it. Isn't it Just too
 Where do you expect to plant it at night?" he asked, eveing it with evil dent apprehension.
 oh, we'll keep 1t in here" was the reply, and in a short time we can get baby to sleep in it. Won't that be nice mowers bessed darling?" Maybe" was the cautious reply. as
 Mir. M. proceeded to get ready for his When they were retiring for the night he eyed the crib with ill-cOncealed sus- pcon, and wanted to stow it away in the cellar, but his wife reminded him that as he was not in the habit of getting up till after sunrise, he need have no uneaginess. and assured him that she would set it where he would not lind it., | ha tria A ,ar a6 temptuouslV and went off to sleep. In the dead of the night, when MT. Mucklewhite Was dreaming of ship wrecks, collisions and other disasters. he was partially aroused by dig in the ribs.
 "Wah whats the matter?" he grunt- ed, only half awake,
 Get up. MT Mucklewhite." said his wife, "bahy's sick" and, as if to justify her diagnosis. the little one set up 2 yell which evidenced a well-developed pair of lungs. at all events. + "Here-Crim pillar in his mouth, can | you:' demanded the father sitting up m bed. What dye want him to wake up the town for? Think he's some kind ot fire alarm?"
 Get up quick and strike light" urged his wife; we must give him some para gOriC
 How am I goin' to strike light in the dark" hc inquired. 'Ill het th'Te iSh | match in the whole establishment'
 The lamp and matches are on me hu- reau in the corner; do hurry, she en- trea cd. as a louder ana more proiohE'u yell came from. the baby.
 Grumbltng and muttering. MT. Muckle- white got out of bed and proceeded to grnpe his way in what he imagined was | inc direction of the bureau. The next mo- ment there was a noise like the falling of the walls of Jericho. succeeded by a | confused mcdlv of kicks and groans as if some ona was in trouble. ...
 What in the world is the matter?' l thinking he was getting behind, chmed | In with a series of war-whoops. | send for the ambulance and the doc tor and the police," moaned Mir Muckle- white. his voice sounding as if it was being filtered.
 Good heavens" screamed his wife l trying to quiet the baby where in the
 I'm down cellar. and the house has
 cayed in on nc" was the reply. Send | for a derrick and a priest, cant you"
 and then there was Q succession of strug-
 gles and groans.