The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-06-30
TALES OF CLOAK-ROOM
 TOLD BY CHAMP CLARK
Says Ministers Are Not Devoid of HumOr- Bright Bits of Wit from the Pulpit---Dr.
 MOOre'S AnecdOte.

him." Being shown" the tax bill was cut down about thrae-fourths.
 0ratory on the Federal Bench. Col. Morton Jourdan of St. Louis, formerly Assistant Attorney General of Missouri. once attended session of the United States Circuit Court at Spring field. Mo, when Judge John F. Philips was presiding. and witnessed an exhi- bition of the judges well-known ora torical power in instructing the jury. In the Federal courts the juries are usually instructed orally and not in writing. as is done in the State courts. The defendant. long. lean. lank tim herman from Ozarks. was squatting on his launches chewing his cud of long green" and Judge Philips was haranguing the jury with great force. The defendant quite naturally mistook the courts instructions for an argu- ment on behalf of the government, and nudging one of the bystanders with his elbow. he drawlingly remarked: Say, stranger, eff I'd hired that old gray headed cuss wander to plead my case fur me the government wouldn't "a stood no show at all. would it?"
 State Pride. .
 At a church social given by the ladies of the Methodist church at Las Vegas, N. M., W. G. Haydon, a lawyer and a native Missourian, responded to the toast Missouri" Among other things he said: a- -- s-
 s"The Missourian to the manor born is proud of his people. of his State and loves his home. be 1t a cabin. No peo- pie, aside from the Kentuckians, have more State pride, love honor more or are greater hero worshipers. Most good things originate and come from Mis- souri-good Methodists, for instance. the school of osteopathy and the Welt mar system of magnetic healing. Her people, are God-fearing and honest. I will give you an illustration of their honesty. Once a Missouri woman went to see Forepaugh's show, and she had no money, so she took a pig to town with her to pay her way into the show. She presented the pig to the door keeper, who asked her what it was for. She replied that 1t was to pay her way in. He told her he didn't want the pig, but to go in and pay the next time the circus came to town. A few years after that Forepaugh's show again came to town, and a woman came to the entrance and handed out the price of two tickets. The doorkeeper asked her why she wanted to pay for two, and and she replied that she was the woman who had brought the pig. and now she wanted to pay up"
 Judge William o. Forrist. One of the most brilliant men who ever followed the practice of criminal law in Missouri was Judge William O. Forrist. formerly of Ohio. His drawl- ing, raspy voice and solemn ccunte- nance. with an iron gray mane hang ing about his fine features and mass i've head. will long be remembered in Mexico. Mo, where he lived for many years. He died some ten years ago, yet hardly a day passes in which an- ecdotes of the old judge are not relat- ed among the townspeople.
 recently heard one told by the Hon. Thomas E. Buckner of Kansas City, who lived in Mexico for a number of years. He said: After had read law for some time in the office of kennan 6 Mcintyre, whose office adjoined that of Judge Forrist, I concluded that I would enter Ann Arbor, but bfeore do- ing so I thought would stand an ex- animation for admittance to the bar. If succeeded, could then enter the Senior class. l applied to Judge Gil- christ Porter. It was in vacation of court, and he appointed committed composed of Samuel Craddock, Judge Forrist. Gen. D. H. Mcintyre and Hon. w. H. Kennan to examine me and he would then act upon their report, as they might recommend The com mittee met, and l appeared before it. MT. Craddock served as chairman. He asked me my age. what books 1 had studied and for how long a time l had been reading law. He then passed me over to the other gentlemen for their examination. I was feeling pretty ner- vous. but Judge Forrist began in such a gentle and kindly manner that the examination began to lose its terrors. He said. Tom, suppose this committee should make a favorable report to Judge Porter in your case, what would you consider your first duty to this committee"
 '' I think my first duty would be to set 'em up, said l.
 My Chairman, said the judge. q must say the young nan has the most correct ideas of the fundamental prin ciples of the law of any young man 1t has ever been my good fortune to ex- anime He has been here in my office off and on for a number of months past. and I know he has been a faith full student but had no idea that he had reached such an advanced stage of development. have met men who practiced law for years who have no such clear conceptions of the funda- mental principles as my young friened I therefore move that the committee make a favorable report The motion carried and the amenities of the pro- fession were indulged."
 "old Sorrel Top"
 Some men have the peculiar faculty of saying things and applying nick names which stick like Aunt Jemima's plaster. For example. one day in the House of Commons mpember kept re- beating Tell me where" The elder Pitt. growing weary of it. began whis- ting Gentle sheperd, tell me where" and from that day till the hour of his death he was called Gentle Shepherd" very much to his annoyance and dis gust.
 Old General John B. Clark of Mis- souri also possessed the faculty. Con | long since that when he was a boy he | went to hear a debate between Gen | eral Clark and Colonel William F. | Switzler. who were running against | each other. Col. Switzler has, or, | rather had before 1t was frosted by | many winters, a fine head of Titan esque hair In common parlance, he | was redheaded. Vandiver says that | Switzler spoke first. Clark pitched in to him in the most vigorous manner and became somewhat personal. In the midst of his speech Switzler stuck his head out from behind a large sugar tree in whose shade he was resting. At sight of his fiery poll Clark shook his long index finger at him and bawl-