The Jersey City news., 1901-12-31
ABOUT MAJOR ANDERSON
Judge Hoffman and Colonel
Toffey Relate Amusing
Incidents Of His
Humor.

Get ex-Jndge, beg pardon Assembly
man William T. Hoffman OF Monmouth
county into corner Ca difficult undeftak-
ing in legal matters), give him Cigar
and listen and he will keep you entertain
ed for hours with amusing stories2of the
best known people in the State he has
a splendid memory, keen, humorous
sense, and is a raconteur of the highest
order. While in Chancery Chambers yes7
terday, waiting to be sat on or other
wise by the Honorable H. C. Pitney, Y.
c.. Colonel John j. Toffey strolled in.
Others gathered around and the Judge
began to get warmed up.
Il haven't seen Major - for some
time. began Colonel Toffey, how is hep"
rs he sick?u asked some one.
.Sickr replied the Judge, why ! met
him down at Trenton yesterday in the
Assessors room and when / asked him
how he was, he said:-1 have only two
sicknesses, Bill | asked him to tell
what they were and he replied gravely:--
one is Bright's disease; but / am not
afraid of that; will live as long as it
lives / asked him what was the Sec
ond one and he said. with comical
smile:-'The seventies.
Fairly started the Judge proceeded with
a story of Major who it appears
is slightly deaf and when addressed puts
his right hand to his ear. Some one re-
marked to the Major that his affliction
must be source of annoyance.
mot a bit of it, he said. You see it
prevents me from hearing lot of dam
foolishness.
90
on a trip to Morris Cove with myself and
a party of State officials chimed in
Colonel Toffey, and the oystermen down
there took out of the beds oysters and
opened them for us on the spot. We
found them delicious, as you may I'M
agine Well, after the feast we adjourned
to take drink and the Major was about
to place a glass of whiskey to his lips
when some one said to him, with look
of horror Why. Major, you are not go
ing to put that on top of oysters?' Our
friend quickly replied Where in hell
would I put it?'
At this point Judge Hoffman let out the
Majors other name. 1t was the Supervisor
of the States Prison. who at one time
was Comptroller of the State and Colonel
Tofrey was Treasurer.
Mice team you were," said the Judge,
shaking his finger at his ancient trusted
crony do you know, gentlemen, what
these two high officials used to do with
me when | had to go down every month
for my pay for services to State Com
mission? / would go to the Comptrol-
Ter for the warrant and he would delay
sending it to the Treasurer. Then I
would go to the Treasurer and he would
say he hadn't received it from the Comp
troller, and they would keep the game
going until luncheon time, when Toffey
would pay it, and that meant terrapin
and wine every time to these cormorants
when I drew my pay.
Some one undertook one day" resumed
the Judge. after the laughter at the last
story had ceased, .'to comment on the
story of Noah, and the narrator said it
was a remarkable act of ingratitude af-
ter being saved from the flood. Remark
able replied the Major. Just stop to
think! Here is Noah landed on Mt.
Ararat. He planted vineyard and you
know it takes three years for the vines
to bear fruit and another year before the
wine is worth damn Now just think
of the thirst that man accumulated
during these years