Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1901-02-12
HOMEMAKERS COLUMN.
topics Of interest to the ladle.
Is solicited. Address: Editor HoMEAAKERs'
COLUMN. Oxford Democrat, Paris. Maine.
AoMEksEPlNe VS.. HOUSEKEEPING
ELLEN Il. BUTLER.

Read by Miss Butler before the woman's Club
at Waterville.]
One of the significant differences be-
tween the masculine and feminine mind,
in point of adaptation, Is this: man
can make himself at home anywhere. A
woman can make home anywhere. OF
course we are now speaking OF the
adaptable man and woman. In the appli-
cation of that one term lies all the diff
ference between homekeeper and a
housekeeper. Every one knows that the
real centre of home is "lovable"
woman. Let US accept her informal In
vitation to take tea with her family, and
accompany her to her home from the
club meeting which she has so heartily
enjoyed. When she has laid aside her
cloak and best bonnet, giving the latter
a fond and approving pat of pride-this
woman strikes US as something wholly
different from the ideal housekeeper.
The admirable and awful qualities OF
that model are her inflexible consistency
and system. But this sweet woman
who has brought US into her home is
neither entirely systematic nor con-
sistent. IL she were, she never would
have set aside her routine, with an i'm
pulsive invitation to ask US in to tea. She
is not slattern, but when | say she Is
neat, will not maintain that her top
bureau drawer is always in order, her
mending basket invariably empty on
Saturday night, that she can unerringly
find in the dark any article she may de-
sire on the shelf Of the back entry closet,
or appear at the front door in immacu-
late attire at any hour Of the day.
Consistency and system are beautiful
Just so far as they serve the home; when
carried beyond that line they become
grotesque idols-gods of a morbid con.
science. Many priestess of thrift and
order is called to sacrifice these idols
upon her home altar to keep the fire
bright, and what this daily sacrifice has
cost her, One only knows-He who so
tenderly met the protest Of the over
anxious housekeeper in Bethany, many
hundred years ago.
There seems to be but one rule which
homekeeper Can follow: to try to be
all things to all moods, conditions and
demands. Yet even this broad rule
should have its healthy exception, in n
righteous claiming at times of the same
complex considerations for the home
keeper herself. She may make her home
Il place for rest, relaxation, condolences,
and pleasures, but not weakly allow it to
become a refuge for selfishness, laziness,
faultfnding and laying aside of self.
control. To serve unseltishly, yet retain
certain privileges and recreations, to &C.
commodate all ages, yet require from
each loving Difference this is diff
cult achievement, but the homekeeper
must aim at nothing short, If she would
escape the double calamity of nervous
prostration and the disgrace of bringing
up thoroughly selfish family.
She is so dear, so precious, this woman
Of the home, in these days of congested
hours and organizations. She does not
feel that it is sin to change the sweep.
ing day, or light the furnace fire out OF
date, or sit awhile between daylight and
dark without "anything to do" She
may be inconsistent, but oh, how CHART,
able, responsive and tolerant she is. She
may lack system, but how many little
extras, surprises and comforts she plans
II she "tskes things easy" as the old
phrase puts it, she is not easily put out
or upset, and after an hour spent with
her, |, for one, am convinced that lOt
of things have hitherto regarded as es.
sential, are only ridiculous red tape.
She is, as l have said, club woman,
and the afternoons meeting has refresh
ed her. Yet, when she goes upstairs,
she looks little dolefully at the table
where the last weeks mending, bit OF
fancy work, her Bible, favorite novel,
last magazine, "Daily Food" recipe
book and bag Of chocolates await her,
and thinks of Mrs. Ms fine housekeep.
ing, Miss Us brilliant paper, Mrs. Y.'s
immaculate children, and Miss Q.'s public
and philanthropic work. At last she
takes out of her pocket letter from her
married daughter, a confidential letter
but | shall steal some sentences from It's
pages, for this is bona-fide letter from
real daughter to an actual mother
These are her words: "None of your
children can ever appreciate what you
and father have done for them until they
have children of their own. feel now
that know something of how tired and
overworked you have been great many
times just to give US pleasure, and if
have never seemed grateful for it, you
may be sure that am now. | think OF
so many happy times l had when was
little-the Christmas trees and parties
and all. Nothing was ever too much
work, nor were we ever told not to hurt
the carpet or anything else in the house
| think it pays to give children good
time at home, and If my children ever
think half as pleasantly of their father
and mother and their home after they
grow up as do in looking back at mine
| shall be more than repaid"
She slips this letter back into heI
pocket, runs down to put an extra plate
on the table, and asks US out to supper
AS for ourselves, we depart refreshed
and in high good humor until we remem-
Der that in our enjoyment, we forgot to
ask her for the infallible recipe for poul.
ticing run-round, her new pattern fol
petticoat yoke and the cakes she gave
US to carry home to the children.