The age-herald., 1901-01-01
SKETCHES FROM
 EVERYDAY LIFE

'It hardly seems worth while learning anything nowadays" remarked a gentle- 1 man who has children attending the public schools. flor no sooner do we learn thing than we have to unlearn It. I remember how delighted I was when a schoolboy by the stories of Romulns and Remus, the graphic description of William Tell shoot ing the apply off his sons head, and the immortal story of George Washington and his little hatchet. Now my children tell me these are all myths. I am sorry for the agnostic children of the present day. It must be unfortunate to have nothing of this kind to believe in. Then there was the fas- cinating theory of the gulf stream-how all the people in England would freeze to death if by any chance its current should be di- verted. Now this theory is laughed at, and it is said the gulf stream disappears in mid-ocean, and has nothing to do with the climate of England; that 1t is warm cur rents of air that make this little island in- habitable. People were also overwhelmed by the germ theory, and after spending mil lions for germ proof filters and drinking boiled and unpalatable water and acquiring gray hair in their efforts to avoid the ubiquitous germ, we are now told that a germ diet is rather wholesome after all and that only or two germs are deadly; moreover, the doctors have not definitely determined whether these deadly germs are the of the disease or a result. In com- mon with many millions of misguided peo- pie used to think that green was restful color to the eye, but now one of these smart German professors says that 1t is not That | it Is simply resting one set of nerves at | the expense of another; that to rest the eyes gray glasses should be worn, for gray glass rests all the nerves at the same time. | One of the fiVmest beliefs of my youth was l that boil was always worth s. Everytime I had a boil I comforted myself with this l thought; but now the doctors say that a l boil is not worth five cents that it has nothing to do with the condition of the | blood, for a microscopic examination of a | persons blood with or without boils shows l it to be exactly the same. This theory, how l ever, I refuse to accept person must l have belief in something, and I shall con- l tinue to regard a boil as worth $5-that is, l would give this sum anytime rather than | have one.
 |
 l q have never understood why the rail- l roads object to ticket scalpers," said l man from one of the smaller towns of Ala l bana. "It can't make any difference to them when they sell MT. Smith a round
 trip ticket from some town in Alabama to | Birmingham and return, whether MT. | Smith returns on it or MT. Jones. They adopt all sorts of precautions, however, to | hi lla;,, to | quire the purchaser to sign his name on the ticket at the time of purchase, and al- so requiring him to be identified and sign | the ticket again on his return home. Their main reliance of course is in being able to | detect any difference in the two signatures
 should any person other than the original purchaser attempt to sign it before start | ing on the return trip. Railroads often | sell these round trip excursion tickets be-
 tween two points cheaper than the ordinary | fare one way. A prominent deacon of
 church came to Birmingham once on one l of these tickets and not intending to re-
 turn on the excursion sold his return half | to scalper A friend of mine bought 1t,
 though with some misgiving as to being l able to write the first purchasers sigma
 ture, the deacon being good penman and
 
 friend was farmer who seldom wrote and
 was as clumsy with pen as the deacon
 would have been with a blow. He spent | day in his room trying to initiate the
 deacon's signature but finally gave 1t up l in despair. When the excursion was about
 to leave he hung around the crowd who | were signing thefr tickets before the agent,
 and waited until the last moment, hoping
 that in the final rush the agent would not
 tween the deacon's own signature and the
 bogus signature my friend would have to
 make. Finally he swaggered up to the win
 dow where the ticket agent was seized 0
 pen and wrote the deacon's name. He num-
 bled in his talk and reeled about, pretend
 ing to be drunk. The ticket agent noticed
 the difference in the signatures and hand
 ed the ticket back You are not J. s.
 Smith,, he said 'Yes'h I am, replied the
 it, said the ticket agent. Anyway these
 signatures are not alike and I can't pass
 the ticket. Look here,' said the farmer
 'Ish J. s. Smith-Deacon Smith from S..
 Ish been here week-been out wish ther
 boys, an been drunk all ther time, an
 thash ther best writin' can do under the
 circumstanshes.'
 "The agent finally passed him, doubtless
 wondering what kind of man Deacon
 Smith must be-"
 KEEP OUT THE TITLED PAUfERs.
 From the Baltimore Sun.