Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-26
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OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES oooooooooooooooo

but wan FIR tn polls. That's tn
throuble, Hinnissy, with tn defective
iv tn story. Nawthin' happens in
rale life that's complicated enough FIR
him. If tn prisidint iv tn Epworth
League was safe-blower be night tn
man tha'd catch hind be la-ad with
gr-great powers iv observation an
thrained habits iv raisonin'. But
crime, Hinnissy, is pursoot iv tn
e-minded-that is, catchable
crime is a pursoot iv tn simple-mind-
ed. TIL other kind, tn uncatchable
kind that Is took up be men iv iltellict
is called high finance. I've knowed
nanny criminals in me time an some
iv thin was fine men an very happy
in their home life an more simple,
pasth'ral people We niver knew. Wan
iv tn ablest bank robbers in tn coun-
threy used to live near me,-he own
ded a fiat buildin'-an' befure he'd
turn in to bed afther rayturnin' firm
his nights wurrull, he'd go out in tn
shed an chop tn wood He always
wint into tn house through thran-
som FIR fear iv wakin' his wife who
was a delicate woman an shop lift
er. AS | tell We he was man with
out guile an he wint about his jooties
as modestly as ye go about ye'ers. l
don't think in tn long run he made
much more thin We do. Wanst in a
while, he'd get hold iv a good bunch
iv money but many other times afther
dhrillin all night through steel dure,
all he'd find'd be short crisp note
firm tn prisidint iv tn bank. He was
often discouraged an he toll me wanst
if he had an income iv forty dollars tn
month, he'd retire firm business an
settle down on a farm.
mo, sir criminals is tn simplest
crathers in tn wide wide wurruld, in
nocent, straightforward, dangerous
people, that haven't sinse enough to
be honest or prosperous. TIL extint
iv their schamin' is to break lock on
a dure or sweep handful iv change
firm a counter or drill a hole in a
safe or administher tn sthrong short
arm to tired man takin' home his
load. There are no MYSTERIOUS crimes
EXCEPT thin that happens to be. TIL
ordh'nry crook, HinniSsy, goes around
ringin' a bell an disthributin' hand
bills announcin' his business, he al
ways breaks through window in
stead iv goin' through the open dure
an afther he's done anything that
he thinks communicable, he goes to a
neighborin' liquor saloon, stands on
the pool table an confides TIL secret
to ivrybody within sound iv his voice.
That's why Mulligan is betther de-
tictiye thin Sherlock Holmes or me.
He can't put two an two together an
he has no powers iv deduction, but
he's hard dhrinker an fine sleuth.
Sherlock Holmes niver wud've caught
that frind iv mine. Whin tn safe iv
tn Ninth Rational Bank was blowed,
he wud've put two an two together
an arristed me. But me frind whit
away LAWN hat an pair iv cuffs
marked with his name in tn safe an
tn polls combined these discoveries
with tn well-known fact that Muggins
was a NOTORIOUS safe blower an they
took him in. They found him down
tn sthreet thryin' to sell a bushel
basket full iv Alley l. stock. | told
ye he was simple man. He rallied
his ambition FIR an agaracoolchral life
They give him tn care iv tn COWS at
Joliet"
Did he rayform?" asked Mr.. Hen,
messy.
NO. said Mr.. Dooley, ".he escaped
An tn way he got out wud baf1e tn
injinooty iv Sherlock Holiness
How did he do it," asked Mr.. Hen
messy
HE climbed over tn WALL" said Mr.
; Dooley.