St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1901-09-28
HER IDEAL MAN.

- 80 ono oS, yOu ALLOW
Il understand perfectly, Miss Ash
ton. AS l am old enough to be your
father, you thought that my point of
view, though moss grown, might be
interesting. This is an age in which
dlgnified Importance is allowed
even to the modern antique. AS a
modern antique, let me place myself
entirely at your disposal"
"Of course, if you are going to be
horrid-"
Pray don't run away, Miss Ashton,
this is to be perfectly calm deliber-
alton between youth and age Moth
ing ruff1es the surface of debate so
rapidly as the least hint of impa-
thence. If you would allow me to
smoke-thanks, very much. I am now
all attention"
"Oh. if you are going to be formal
and polite, Mr.. Spencer, it makes ev-
erything SO stupid"
LET me apologize at once for my
politeness and my stupidity. Now,
suppose begin this discussion instead
of you"
"How can you, when you don't even
know?''
1--WE are sitting quite in the shade,
Miss Ashton; except as defensive
weapon, that parasol-"
IF you are going to be tiresome, 1
shall go in"
"Well, might just start the SUBJ
ject perhaps, and it you found me
wandering from the point you might
gently"
Cannot you see that am really
serious, Mr.. Spencer?'
II am sure you are, SO will begin
at once. You appeal to my ripe ex-
perience. am 43. The vicar will con-
firm this, he christened me. You, I
think, are IS. beg your pardon, 10
last June. You are staying here un-
der the care of your aunt. Your aunt
is highly to be esteemed. You and I
both agree that the opinion of the
estimable person is valueless on all
practical questions. You, therefore,
come to me. A younger man would
feel f1attered, while I merely gather
that, in your opinion, am not estima-
ble."
"Thank you, yes; that is a very
comfortable way of putting it,
"Your encouragement, Miss Ash
ton, is gratifying. Let me see, where
was I? All, yes, being 10, feminine
and perplexed, you want advice. This
seems to narrow the topics to two
only, say either a frock or a love
affair. Nowadays the man milliner is
doubtless parsonage, but"
"Oh, it isn't frock, Mr.. Spencer"
II feel SO immensely relieved,
thought it would have been undenia-
bly, fattering if it had been frock;
however, we will take it for granted
then, that it is love affair. Now
I think, Miss Ashton, that it is your
turn"
"Oh, well, you see, you can perhaps
hardly-at least, mean"
mo, see I have not brought you
to the point of fuency yet, SO will
continue. For the purpose of this
discussion, let us roughly divide love
affairs into two groups-the first in
which both parties are equally con-
WINGED. What they are convinced OF
would be a little tedious to specify.
Let me, however, refer you to any
third volume of any novel OF the
early Victorian period. The more re-
cent works are not always orthodox.
The second group comprises those
complications in which only one Of the
two parties"
"Have you ever met Fred Norman,
Mr.. Spencer?"
$50 it is Fred Norman, is it? Dear
me. Met him? Yes, of course l have.
His place is only five miles of"
Eyes, know, he was at the Ander-
sons garden party-oh, and lots OF
other places"
HE is comedy youth, and it is
pretty property"
"How stupid men are. You all think
that because man is young and
good looking"
"About 5000 acres of the best mead
ow land, believe"
81 wish you would not interrupt
me, Mr.. Spencer; you all think that
the whole sex must worship him..
pardon me, never mentioned
worship, or even limited of love. To
arrive at a sound conclusion from
discussion such as this, it is necessary
to duly marshal the facts. Kindly
let me resume, Miss Ashton. The
basis of our discussion is now youth,
good looks and the 5000 acres, prin-
~sro11 Meadow land -
''Mr. Spencer, I hate You. l won
der whether you were ever in love
yourself"
"Miss Ashton, let me reassure you.
I am a man with past. At four
years of age, made matrimonial over
lures to my nurse; the good woman
still lives, and my life is shadowed by
this Youthful indiscretion. But come,
we are wandering from our moutons
and the pasture land. Our problem
now is a one-sided love affair, in
which Fred Norman is heart broken,
while you are scathless. Had 1T been
otherwise, should never have been
consulted, I am sure"
Mr.. Spencer, how clever OF you to
"Iet us confine ourselves to facts,
-1,<~va