Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-06-25
The Daily Short Story
A PAIR OF NOSES.

One autumn 1 made a tour through
Germany. Arriving at Wildbad.
sought hotel. On turning into the
street near the Konigplatz my senses
were completely daZzled by as match
less piece OF humanity as ever bore
the name of woman.
Arriving at "mine inn," asked the
landlord about her.
THE lady OF whom you inquire" said
he, lis the wife of u colonel in the army
of Prussia named Eckerlin and is con-
sidered the most beautiful woman OF
whom that country can boast, but her
husband well deserves such prize, for
it was by no common stratagem that
he obtained her"
"Indeedr' said /. Howl
"By n noser replied mine host. ''The
lady's maiden name was Julie Ancelot.
Her father was u stockbroker in Berlin
and one of the millionaires. He loved
his daughter, but was determined to
have his own way in choosing a hus-
band for her. Now, among other
crotchets, he was an enthusiastic adj
mirer of large noses, provided they had
4 Roman. contour, though he freely
admitted he had never beheld one OF
that ultra prominency which entirely
satisfied him. Just at this period he
received n letter from an old school
fellow. settled in Silesia, who, as an
army contractor. had become immense
ly rich.
His name was Herr Schrattenbak,
and, being DESTROYS of seeing his son
settled in life. he proposed him as a
husband for the Fraulein Julie. There
was, however, he frankly observed, one
circumstance which might be deemed
, an Observation-Disclosures his sons fore
head and chin there was "A protuber-
ance far beyond the Roman or indeed
any other standard The effect of this
communication on Herr Necker Ance-
lot may be imagined. He, with all the
precision of a man of business, wrote,
by return of post, to say that if Herr
Schrattenbak, Jr., arrived on n day
specified. exactly at 10 O'Clock noon, he
should become the husband of Julie
with portion in ready money of 2OO,-
600 forms.
I'm the meantime. also, as n matter
of business, Herr Neckcr informed his
daughter that he had found her a hus-
band exactly suited to his mind and
that by a certain day she must pre-
pare to receive him. Julie knew her
father too well to complain or re-
monstrate. She relied rather on the ex-
pedient of love. and, having sought her
dear Eckerlin, she communicated all to
him.
ION the morning fixed for the mar.
riage Julie put the clock forward half
an hour, and mt the moment OF its strik.
ing l. light chaise drove up. from
which descended n parsonage in n
travelling cloak, with n nose of the
size and shape OF fish knife. Herr
Necker welcomed him with much bien-
VIGILANCE, looked first pleased, then
greatly astOnished ut the size of his
nose. paid his daughters portion of
100000 forms in bank bills, poured out
n bumper of Rudcsheimberg all round.
told him he had no time To lose saw
him and Julie safely packed up in the
carriage with two of her female
friends, beheld it start mt n Gallop for
the Hotel de Vile, where the marriage =,
ceremony is first performed, and was
supremacy happy.
"'Ah" said he, Chuckling and walk ]
ing to and fro. This is doing the bust
ness. Tremendous nose that-rather
too large In the midst of this self +.
there drove up to the door !
Il numbering vehicle. from which, TO the I
establishment of Herr !
Necker. descended parsonage with a |
nose nearly twice the size of that OF |
the first conner. He entered and pre-, |
scented a letter of introduction. which /
him as Herr Schrattenbak, !
JF. The stockbroker was bewildered, |
but before any explanation could be /
given, the bride, bridesmaids and Nose /
l drove up. The rival noses were imme-
diately confronted. Herr Necker Gazed /
first upon one and then upon the other
with unfeigned perpleXity. At length
Nose broke the Silence as follows: If
there be deception here, / am guilty of
it, but nevertheless 1 feel confident of
pardon since it Is sanctitied by love!
Julie is now the wife of n colonel in
the Prussian army. My name is Ecker
lin; my nose is not what it appears
AS the india rubber appendage was
lifted off Herr Necker recovered him
self. This is fraud said he sternly, |
and, according to our laws, the mar
rage is NULL
Not exactly said Colonel Eckerlin,
for 1 have obtained our good kings
the Fraulein Julie Ancelot. Here it is
Herr Schrattenbak, Jr., looked first at
the india rubber nose, then at Colonel
Eckerlin. then at Julie. then at Herr
Necker, then at himself in the glass,
and then observed: L am glad of this,
for. to tell you the truth. l have a