The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-06-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


cam 1 crazy. or your shouted the
lawyer. passionately, to a clerk with
whom he could not come to an under
| standing
Z don't think" was the quiet reply,
| you're a man who would hire a. crazy
clerk. ''-Philadelphia Times.
Easyman-Your brother Dick did me
out of SO last night
Miss Wearie-That's just like Dick
| He is always doing some ridiculous
| thing.-Truth-
| ed to me. because you didn't like my. bare
/ back attitude and here you are going il
/ aStraddle.-Life.
PA what is the difference between
notoriety and fame?''
well, there is not necessarily a wo-
man in the case of the man who be-
comes famous Chicago Record-Herald-
she was simply stunning By the way,
you're looking rather miserable your
self. What's up?
| Tona-Don't get enough nourishment,
| that's all You see, I arranged with
my wife the first of the year to give
her a certain amount each week, out OF
which she was to pay household eX-
penses and buy her clothes.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Ryan (gleefully)-D'yez moind. Mixer
It TUX six polacenin t git wan
| foightin' Oirish mimber out av tn
British house av parlymint.
Shea-Huh. Shure wan av thin
moight how done it dead aisy.
Ryan (warmly)-Indadel An how?
Shea-Phwy, be sthandin' outside av
tn dure an calm the Oirishman a
hloiar-Brooklyn Life.
stutterton-Have 1 gug-gug-got tut
| time to cuc-cuc-catch the n-n-next
t-train for NN-New-
Railroad Porter-Noo York? Yis. We
have, providin' ye walk fasther than
ye talk. 1t don't Fave fur an hour
Philadelphia Record.
In what way did he lose his self-pos-
VERY, simply. He gave himself away"
How truly quantity humorous is that
Who plans to lead better life at fifty
-Chicago-Record Herald.
'They say. the way to please a man is
him talk fh to You You about Sc Rhdi himself I'm + +
Some sage has said that the great rule
Of life is know myself
Yes. and there should be a second rule:
And when you know thyself don't tell
.'Bothered because he married girl
! with an Independent fortune? NONSENSE
It's SO. He's bothered because it's 50
\ Independent he can't control it.'-Phla-
delphia Times
| "Of course there are various gradations
| of wealth Now, how would you draw the
That's easy The two classes may be
| and those who do not. In that way it is
impossible to make mistake. ''-Chicago
Mrs. Pepperday-NIy first husband had
great zeal m9re sense r than you ha va
Harper's Magazine.
Pat-Are you good at arithmetic, Mike?
PatEwe III if you had ten shnIings and
much would Ia you GU have left?
| Mike (strongly)-Ten shillings.
Pat-Ah, ye don't seem to ketch onte
Mike4No;. an you don't seem to ketch
Nodd-Are you renting a cottage at the
seashore this summer
Todd-No / couIdn afford it. I'm buy
] ing one.-Brooklyn Life.
Pat-Arrah. now. but railways are
moighty foine invintion, anyway
could see much to admire in them. Pat
seeing that you lost your leg in a railway
Pat-Faith, an didn't OF get 900 dam
| ages? BegOrra, If 1t had only been my
head ord have owned the loine.-Tit- Bits
she-wen. dear, didn't you enjoy your
| evening" Did he give you good dinner?
nothing else while eating it; and I forgot
| all about it after
Henry L. Clapp, in a company of good
] fellows, once said of well known editor
who was constantly impressing people
Yes. he is a self-nade man. and he
worships his creator '-Argonaut
She was beloved by cholly's man.
My flower" he called her, pure and
regular lily She was quite.
De 10y = '''9 Philadelphia Press.
Have you ever been perfectly happy?''
Yes, but 1 never knew it at the time.
Life
How DO you get on with your literary
ssOh. famouslyi / have invented an ex-
| tremely silly attitude in which to be pho
tographed for the literary periodicals and
have now only to write something. De
troit Journal
Don't you kinder banker after respec-
liability now an den?' asked plodding
"oh. don't know" answered NIeander-
ing Mike. Sometimes I t'ink dat respec-
liability amt much more dan permission
to work hard for what US people gets Tor
nothin'. '-Washington Star
A well known English bishop was start
Station when the stationTnaster came up
to him and said referring to his lug
gf o4gSg How many articles are there my
ss.Thirty-nine,," was the reply.
..Then,'' said the bishop. you must be
a Dissenter."
II have a great mind to go to the polit-
zeal club tonight said MT: J to ms WIFE,