St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1901-06-22
ANAMATEUR FARMER

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q Ny dear, said the Amateur Ex-.
perimental Farmer To his wife, q.
week after they had moved QUITO the
farm, q fearit will be impossible for
me to give the necessary attention to
two horses, d cow, 40 hens, hundred
little chickens, and a three-acre gar
den patch, and, at the same time,
properly attendfo my workin the city.
/ shall have to hire an assistant. The
live stock seems singnlarly helpless
and even the growing vegetables APP
parantly need constant care and at
tention. 2
Well, my dear, Z said bis wife; be
sure that you hire man who does not
drink and Is fond ef children.
Mindfulof his experience ii adver-
tising for q farm, the Amateur x-
perimental Farmer determined that.
he would tell what he wanted and be
plain about il ii writing want sad 2
for an assistant experimentalist. He
put his advertisement iii the paper
one morning and went downto his Of
flee full OF hope. When he got ont Of
the elevator at the accustomed floor
he imagined for !. moment that he
had accidentally stumbled il to d po-I
Itieal mass meeting. Exactly So
men, three boys and four women were
waiting in his Office. They stood in
long lines along the walls, and one
Wearied brother had sat down IN the
waste basket and gone to sleep The
Amateur Farmer was badly ratified.
The office boy met him at the door.
These men are waiting to see the.
man who advertised for d gentleman
To assist him III The care Of II small
farm, he said.
The Amateur Farmer ran arl ag
onized eye along the serried ranks.
He longed for the seclusion Of his
back pasture Int Finally he Lighted
upon man with q bright red mus
tacle He looked somewhat less for
midable than the others A question
Of two developed the fact that the red
mustaehe had had much experience
In taking care Of COWS and horses, and
was wiling to assist in the manage
mant 81 ali amateur experimental
farm at reasonable compensation.
He was instantly engaged and sent
out 10 The farm with ! 25-lnile ride.
ticket il his pocket. while the ANA
teur Farmerdisniss the remainder
Of the army with . sighof relief
When the Amateur Farmer alight-
ed at his suburban station that night
the red mustache was waiting for him
On the platform.
s so me back to Cheecag it said.
& What j the matters''
fought you have one chem
tlenaan country blace. Aber II bees.
one barnyard, one chicken house, one
ole plug horse an COW. Dere ist only.
one girl, and + been too lonesome. /
go me back To der eity''
The Amateur Farmer handed the
disappointed assistant half dollar,
and expressed the wish that he had
not been seriously incomInoded by
the trip, Then He reglst tered i vow
that be would run the experimental
farm himself Next morning, how
ever. when be got up at FIVE d clock to
milk the COW and curry Tie horses, he
revised his hastily formed Judgment
of the night before. He would make
one more effort to secure b man who
might relieve him of d part Of thence
essary scientific lab0Fs After many
and more or less painful experiences
BE finally succeeded ii finding q
blond-mustaehed SON Of the Father
land, whose only drawback IS that he
commences singing Aeh, du heber.
Augustine in lusty bass voice at
five o'clock ii the morning.
The next morning the sorrel mare
which had come with The place de-
veloped Il igIls of incipient equine liE-
drophobia She kicked the DASH
board eff the family phaeton, and
frightened one Of the prize dominick
hens which had laid anegg il her
nlanger into fit. H was determined
Shat gentler animal would have p
be secured.