The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-03-13

Whene'er they CHANGED to meet,
At clubs headquarters, on car
Or in the crowded street,
They never failed to let you know
That they were business" This is so.
Yet when these business women
At luncheon came together
For To- these girls a restaurant
Conducted in high feather
The milk, they said. was glorious,
The coffee was dream;
The pie was simply exquisite
And splendid was the cream.
The soup Vas Was cute at they murmured;
And yet they tried to preach to me
These charming friends of mine,
That they are business Yet know
That nature never made them 1 so.
st. Louis Post-Dispatch
-:O:-
When George Dewey, now admiral of
the American navy, was an instructor at
the Annapolis Naval academy, the rules
were very strict against fighting and haZ-
ing, but both were INDUCED in consider
ably just the same. relates Washing
ton correspondent. There was big ca
Diet who led all the haZing parties, but
he was sharp enough to direct the move
ment of the hazers instead of being an
actual prominent ringleader. and gener-
ally managed to escape punishment for
his miSdeedS. He was, in addition. some
thing of bully, and had most of the
other boys well cowed.
Finally one afternoon this bully at
tempted to haze the wrong man. The
latter, a young fellow from the West,
lit into him, and after tremendous bat
tie licked him and licked him well. In
doing so, however, the victor received
badly-battered face, and was in great
fear lest Dewey and the other officers
would find it out.
o.ol,
Of the boys. Roll your self into your
hammock and when, Dewey comes
around to make his inspection cover your
face and appear as if asleep"
So the youth did. When Dewey came
around he asked: whats the matter,
Mr. -"
I'm sick, SIR replied the younger
Lets see your face demanded Dew
Tremblingly the cadet showed his bat
tered countenance over the side of the
hammock.
aha, I thought so,' said Dewey, very
harshly., Now, sir, tell me whom you
We're fighting
Mr.. -" replied the scared cadet.
oh" exclaimed Dewey, with strange
him?"
IL think I did, sir
Did you lick him good? 2"
Il think so. SIR
''Oh, all right" said the future admiral.
and he passed on with his inspection.
The cadet was never brought I'D to an
swer the charge Of fighting and the acad-
envy bully was a changed person from
that day on.
She was newly arrived from the old
country, and she went to the store for
syrup.
Give me a pound of treacle," she said
''Treacle?' repeated the grocer .'You
mean molasses.''
Possibly"
I'VE don't sell it by the pound, but by
the measure
''Oh, then, give me yard. ''-Pittsburg
Chronicle Telegraph.
He was evidently a foreigner, and he
walked into one of the big jewelry
watch. Il would be pleased to examine
some secondhand Watches he said to
the clerk who advanced to meet him.
This isn't pawnshop," observed the
clerk. haughtily.
mop" observed the man inquiringly,
but you have watches?" and he pointed
to the great showcases full of handsome
watches.
Certainly replied the clerk, "the
finest stock Of watches in the city. How
much do you want to pay for a Watch?''
How mooch?" asked the stranger
MoOch as he is worth so that he suits
me. L have said that | desire a second
hand watch. good one that shall keep
the time
See here, sir, you are off your base
We don't keep secondhand goods. You
will have to hunt elsewhere for second
hand watches"
The strangers eyes opened wide. ''But
you have him there, and there and
there, he said, as he hogan to sgesticu-
watches spelling it as though to make
it, palmer, land they are here, every
where, yet you say you have them not.
l do not comprehend you"
We'll, [ do you," replied the clerk
sheepishly,, as he quickly. got behind the
counter. Just a little mix up. No harm
done, | hope. Certainly we have watch
es with second hands. All our watches
have second hands. We handle no 9th
ers.' And the stranger got his second
hand' watch, for which he laid down a
$50 bill-Washington Star.
A green Irishman having been ordered
by his employer to saddle the horse and
ride to town on mission, was observed
by neighbor putting the saddle on hind
part before. Approaching him, he re-
marked:
You've got that saddle on wrong end
irstr'
"Indadew exclaimed the greenhorn;
AN how do We know which way Dim
goin ?''-Richmond Dispatch.
-:o:-
Dooley-'What's the matter wild We
anyhow, Mick-all tattered an torrun
an bitten an scratched all over?' Mick
-''Ay, an me own dog done it! went
home sober last noight. an the haste
didn't know mei'-Punch
Wife severely what does this
mean, sir? Do you know the time?"
Husband-"Yesh M dear. 1 was (hicj
tanned, M dear, by fearf1 axsherdant.'
Wife alarmed and growing suddenly
sympathetic -" Accident! Good gra-
cious, George Are you much hurtY'
Husband-.'No, m, dear, fort'nat'ly
Ohic) not. Axsherdant happ'n'd t. other
fir. "-Pick-Me-U Up.
-:o:-
Cecil Rhodes, the South African multi
millionaire, is known to the general pub
lie simply as a grasping. constituencies
money-getter, yet there is another side