The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-02-08


Blue as the depths OF a-blueberry pie?-
l never shall do it! No use to try.
How can fashion my melting line
With hunger gripping this brain OF mine:
Love, thou art mighty, but Man must dine.
What To Eat
when 1 was down in Cuba,' said
Delegate Flynn of Oklahoma to writer
in the Washington Post, Il heard good
story about an army officer and
famingo. \ faningo? Why, It's
bird of beautiful red plumage which
aboundS iii the tropics. Well, to con-
tinue. | heard of a post commandment
who, like all other post commandments,
was not popular. He had two fads.
First. he believed in wh:tewash and
plenty Of it. asserting it to be the most
effective preventive of tropical diseases
ever discovered. His second fad was
all apparently unreciprocated attachment
to Il pet t1amingo, who resented being
kept in captivity and who showed his
resentment by nipping at every soldier
who passed his way. On the part of
the soldier there was nothing to do but
swear under his breath and wait for IT.
ycngc
"On certain Monday morning an or
der was issued from headquarters that
all articles pertaining to the camp which
were not sheltered from the weather
should he whitewashed. No one who
knows the American soldier" added Mr..
Flynn, needs further information.
When l saw the tlamingo he was as
white as snow. The chances are that
the bird will survive the operation. but
he will hardly outlive the post command
ants wrath
observation-disclosures got lovely bed
room, now, with this new carpet. Just
put it down, didn't your
Hostess-"Yrs; just through
tacks scattered around the floor. You
ought, to pick them up before night. or
yonr husband will be stepping OH them"
HOSteSS-"\O, let them stay. My hus-
band is Il newspaper humorist. and every
time he steps on one, he'll think of some
new joke about it. I hope he'll make
enough out Of them to pay for the car
quoted by the Philadelphia Press, Was
speaking Of the Nanderbilt-Frcnch we'd
ding and so came naturally to the ques
ton of what he called wedding fright.
1T u.s. he said. "a good deal worse than
stage fright. should think, and it gen
orally. cnriously enough, attacks the man
rather than the woman. | suppose that
first part of their lives looking forward
to the event, while men-well, men, 1 re-
greet to say, don't. 1t comes to them as
always more or less Of 81 surprise. They
are continually saying, for example,
with all my worldly goods thee and
awful welded wife is another instance
where a dropped is as bad as. in some
cases. an overlooked h might be. It is
almost rs bad, l have found, among ru-
raj communities. where 1 have heard
SUNDAY school teachers quote Blessed
John. the Blacksmith and Holy Mi
chael, the Dark Angel, instead of Bless
cd art thou amongst women Blessed
John the Baptist and Holy Michael, the
archangel.'"
How did Mrs. Hodgson Burnett? Help
ing Eliza Cook.
What can Eliza Cook? Hare. Bacon,
Lambs Tales. ETC.
What did Eliza Cook. and why was
Richard Savage? John Hare, because it
Burns instead of Browning.
Why couldn't Eliza Cook? Because
she had lent Alfred the Great (yratc.>
Why did Mark Akenside cache inside) :?
Because he let Eliza Cook.
could not make Eliza Cook.-London
Truth
\ teacher who looks after class Of
small girls in an uptown Sunday school
called upon one Of her charges last Sun
day to read the first half Of the seventh
chapter Of the book Of Ezra This is
what she heard, Now after these things
in the reign of Smith, King of Persia.
hn nf no nfS >s$l
Stop" (cried the teacher, where arc
You reading!'
The first verse" replied the child.
The teacher. much astonished. looked
at the place and there read: Nov after
these things in the reign of Artaxerxes,
King Of Persia, Ezra. the son Of Seraiah.
Why. there is nothing there about
Smith or JONES'" she said.
II know there isn't replied the child.
But when I'm reading to my grand
mother and l come to a place like this
she says, oh, just say the son of Jones
and the son of Smith. York Sun.
Unconscious Humor-"You mustn't fai!
to TO- come . to c hS; next t, SUNDAY" said
to have Rev. DIR. Markthirst deliver an
address on his observations in the
Sums "Aren't You going to preach at
an?' ooh. yes I'll preach my regular
sermon. after which DIR. Markthirst will
tell you some things that will open your
eyes -Philadelphia Press.
-:Q:-
She was 1T 4 party. He had not vet ar
rived. but she was momentarily expect
ing him. The hum of conversation
through the room had no significance for
her; all her faculties were bent on the
front door.
Every time it opened. at every step in
the hall, she would start while her face
would flush and her eyes light up with
feverish expectation. Then the color
would go back from her cheeks, her eyes
would dull and her heart sink when an
other than he came into the ROOM
Finally he arrived and took seat be-
side her, and she leaned over his shoulder
and joyously murmured:
My darling! my darlingP
She was too happy to say aught more.
Ten years later. and she again waits.
1t is in their own home now. His step is
on the stoop: he opens the door. She
springs quickly to the hall.
Wipe your boots!"' she screams.-Lon-
don Spare Moments.
4 Popular Host-Trareler-"Eh Has
this hotel changed hands?'' CLERK
Mes. the old landlord busted up-owed