The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-11-22

| THE 'PRINT'S'' MISTAKE.
! BY mistake the man deceased
| Drank some I've.
! But the printer set 1t up
! He drank rye!
And there'll be a damage suit
| Indianapolis Sun.
John, DEAR" she said, in her sweet,
affectionate voice, which she only used
on rare occasions, ARE you well up with
your Christmas work"
pretty well,' he sighed, as he put
period to poem which had almost given
him nervous prostratlon. why DO you
ask?"
dermining your health, and want you
to take recess and write me short
story to pay for my new dress, couple
Of poems for my hat and gloves, a good,
stirring campaign song that will bring
in enough Sc: a ton OF coal, ana one or
two of those darling love poems for
some lard and sugar-cured ham; and
ham, dear, is only II cents pound!-
Atlanta Constitution.
-:O:-
And That Accounts for 1T cannot
conceive why she invited that grass
widow to her wedding. Why she's
woman with horrible past Eyes, my
dear, but rich enough to furnish an ele-
|
Bulletin.
At the town of Alecranes, Gen. Wood
spent some time visiting the carcel. He
had all the prisoners lined out before
him. and he asked one, after another for
| what reason he was there. I0lntlnS TO
one fellow, he asked:
What are you here for?'
The man looked up feariessly and
said Because a COW was seen walk
ing behind me-
The fellow made the statement in
in the party had to laugh, including
the jailer, who fastened to explain to
the general that the reason the COW was
walking behind him was that he had
rope attached to her.-Havana Post.
Nervous Tourist-"stop: driver stop!
There's something wrong! l am sure
be aisy, then, yer honor. Sure, it's the
same ones been comm off thin these
three days back!-Punch.
Prof. Greenwood recently. visited the
Attacks school and talked to the children
on adverbs and adjectives.
docs Prof. Bowser use adverbs and
adjectives, children?" he asked.
Yes, SIR chorused the little negroes.
Yes, SIR" again in a chorus.
! "Well. what does she use when she
does not use adverbs and adjectives?'
There was a silence. No one seemed
to know. Finally very black little fel-
low waved his hand.
WELL" said the professor, what does
she use?'
She generally uses a ruler" -Kansas
City journal.
Going Easy.-"He's dying very calm
| ly,' observed the physician, as he felt
the pulse of the sufferer. 80 like. john
softly spoke the prospective widow; 'hc
more American.
An unsuccessful candidate for a party
nomination being met by friend the
morning following his disappointment,
the. following conversation ensued:
F E;snt!ons S% how do you like the
Rejected Candidate-'Excuse me, but
take no interest whatever in this cleo
ton"
Friend-"No more do I. except to wish
that the best man may win
Reject Rejects Candida 2 h. e, won't"
Rejected NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. he
wasn't nominated. Boston Courier.
The New .Walk.-"My wife, said the
first man. has acquired that new walk
called the gracile glide" My wife,"
observed the second man, still sticks
to the bargain counter hop.'-Baltimore
''It's time. Charles, that We thought
Of getting Hilda married; she is 49,"
"Oh, let her wait till the right sort Of
man comes along" what nonsense! |
never waited for the right sort of man."
| Tit Bits.
i Mrs. Stalemate"I had my fortune
only think, he tells ME | shall live to
what, again ?''-Boston Transcript.
She Won.-Tess-'I accepted Jack
Timmid last night!' Jess-"Oh! I'm so
glad" Tess. Are YOU. really?' Jess
Eyes, l bet him a box of gloves that
| -:O:-
1t was Great.-"An' did o'Brien have
good wake?' asked Rafferty, of Multi
gan; ''shure, an if he'd been aloive to
injoy it he'd thought he was havin' the
tonne of his life."-Judge.
Shocking.-"Mrs. Scadds made vul-
gar and ostentatiOus displa- of wealth
yesterday" said Mrs. barley to her hus.
band. I'm what way?" ''She gave a
potato luncheon. Judge.
To Be Expected.-"How forbidding
that boat looks" exclaimed Mrs. Tad
dells. You are looking at the stern
sheets" explained Mr.. Taddells.-netroit
, | Free Press.
A Hard Master.-Perdita-"I under
stand Mr.. Binks plays the cornet." Ly-
decker-"You have been msinformed.
: He works it."-Brooklyn Eagle.
: If pretty girl has, indeed, no brains,
it simply goes to show that nature isn't
giving brains to such as can't possibly
: use these in their business.-ruck.