Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1901-06-20
CHAPTER XIX.

used to be-
She was not. Her education anC
training had been so different from
that of other girls; she had never
talked of love and lovers. She had
been brought up to think of love as
something to be despised rather than
esteemed. For the first time in hel
life she was brought into contact with
a passionately loving woman; for the
first time in her life she had heard a
woman speak of love. She had dis
covered what love was like to Wo-
man. No matter how deep man
loves, he cannot say much about it, he
says little; a woman has her love al
ways on her lips, as she has it always
living and burning in her heart.
Violet might have lived and died
without knowing her own powers of
loving, had not Miss Mari, with her
passion and eloquence, brought them
- life; and now she was beginning to
ealize a truth that puzzled her. She
was rapidly falling in love with her
husband after a fashion in which she
lad never loved yet. During that
wooing in the summer woods at st.
Byno's, the love had been rather on
his side than hers. She had fallen
in some degree under the glamour of
it. The wOoing of the handsome
young artist had been a pleasant
novelty. When she married him, she
did not know that there was higher,
deeper, truer love than that which she
felt for rim. Now she was beginning
to understand that she had not really
loved him. She knew it by the differ
ence in her own feelings toward him.
She had heard his loving words with
pleasure, but her heart had not beaten
the more quickly for them. She had
taken his caresses as a matter of
course; she had accepted all the love,
the homage, and devotion that he
lavished on her without thinking any
thing of it. She had never under
stood what jealousy meant. AS for
being jealous of her husband, she
would have laughed the idea to scorn
Now it was a different matter Her
heart beat with a new passion, a new
pleasure, a new pain. She stood face
to face with a great truth at last She
loved her husband-loved him with
love quite new to her, that had been
called into existence by the devotion
the passion, the eloquence of another
woman.
She hardly admitted to herself that
she missed him, but she did. He had
cared for her SO tenderly that the
wind had hardly been allowed to
touch her face; now she found the
difference. There was no one to take
care of her; but she herself had to
take care of others. No one knew or
cared if she was out in the cold or
damp, if she felt i'll or well, if she was
blithe or sad; no loving eyes followed
her going out and coming in, no loving
words greeted her She found the
difference between being beloved
wife and paid companion. If she
felt tired, no on pitied her. She could
not help remembering the days
broad, the balconies laden with
lowers which hung over the blue
moonlit sea; if she was tired then
loving arms folded her, her head was
pillowed on a loving breast, every
comfort and luxury were found for
her. Now Mrs. Ingram, although al
ways polite, looked annoyed of her
companion seemed tired; and of late
she had not felt we'll. The first time
that Violet stretched out her arms
with a weary cry of ooh, Randolph
how l miss you" her husband was
nearer to her heart than he had ever
been before.
Still she had annulled her own
marriage; and there was an end of it.
She was concerned about her health
Sh> was so far from we'll that the
least exertion seemed to tire her; she
had no strength, no spirits. When
she looked in the mirror, she saw d
pale face with woful eyes full OF
shadows, all the brightness gone.
She asked herself anxiously, Was
she i'll? Was she going to die? Her
death would clear away all troubles.
If she were dead, mother and son
would be reconciled, and Randolph
would marry Miss Mari.
But the thought of it, instead of
giving her a comfortable sense of
resignation, flushed her face with
anger. 1t was one thing to say to her
self proudly that she would annul her
marriage; it was quite another matter
to please them all, like a good
Christian, by dying, and leaving her
husband to the woman who loved him.
No, she would not do that if she could
possibly avoid it. She would do her
best to keep strong and well. Hither-
to she had enjoyed robust health: she
had been so active and vigorous that
she could not understand the languor
and depression that seemed never to
leave her now. She had never
thought much of death. She knew in
vague fashion that she must die
some day, but it seemed very far off
to her in the bloom and springti tide of
health.
She was watching the November
moon one night and she began tc
wonder whether, if she were to die
she would feel quite satisfied will
herself-whether she would feel that
she had done her best or not
whether, as she lay dying, she would
long for Randolph, cry out for Ran
dolph-whether she would long to die
with her head on his breast and hi:
arms around her. She felt that deatf
in such a fashion would be sweet-ah
Go