Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1901-07-04
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| W
Whispered.-Thc Friend-Her face M
her fortune. The Enemy-How inter-
esting! Made it herself, too, didn't
she Harlem Life
Jasgles-Is that hotel very exclusive
Waggles-It must be; no children ard
taken, and it has accommodations for
pet dogs.-Town Topics
Mamma Ito Freddie, just returned
! from call upon his auntl-Well, Fred
die, what did auntie say? Freddie dis
/ gustedlyl Don't Freddie BrooklynH
Life.
johnnie, give me an example Of al
combination of meaningless phrases"
"Yes'm. A burglar proof safe stood I'M
! a fireproof block "-Clevelan Plains
Dealer.
Sentimental and-ahem--thirty Co
Did he say he knew me when l was
girl? Sweet Twenty"-Oh no! He
said he remembers you when he was
boy!-Punch.
Blobbs-Wealth will not buy happi-
ness. Slobbs-Well. for my part, L
think / should be happier with wealth
than with happiness without it.-Phla-
delphia Record.
$50 you're singing for money now,
| eh?" "That was my expectation when
l joined the new opera company, but
l find l have to whistle for it, "-RiCh-
mond Dispatch.
! Maggie-Dat lobster, Jimmie O'Roo1N
ney, don't realize wot woman's love
means! Katie-Nope; His mudders
whaled him so much she's quecred do
hull sex!-Judge.
"De man dat's allus tellin' bout what
+, he used ter do or what he's gwinter
! do" said Uncle Eben, ''is usually
, was'in' his time jes' at present.
Washington Star. .-...e'l
Mrs. Galey-Percy Gadsby has had
dreadful luck at bridge, lately. Mrs.
Inswymnl 1eagerly)-You don't say?S
I Dear mel must invite him up bcforsN
it changes.-Puck.
Mrs Cobwigger-Poor thing, she#
tried to reform her husband and fail
ed Mrs. Dorcas-What is she trying
to do now? Mrs Cobwigger-To rel
| form the world.-Judge.
Bill-How much did you give up to-
see the ball game? Jill-Fifty cents,
"How was the gameT Neither side
scored" 'Then you didn't get run
for your money. "-Yonkers Statesman
aren't you promising more than you
can pay?' Yes" answered the China
man. at struck me that this fact
might on occasion be offered as an ex-
cuse for not paying it.'-Washington
Star
His Busy Day.-Quarryman-BiddyI
His Wife-Phwat do We want now,
! sure? Quarryman-Pour some kero-
sense on tn fire an make it hot, so Oh
can thaw out me namite.-New York
Weekly.
Mrs. Fijit-Why doesn't Mr.. Smith
ers come to our house any more? Mr..
Fijit--I can't imagine; I'm sure | al
ways tried to entertain him by the
smart things our baby does, too.-Oho
State Journal.
|
! that you are engaged at last! Grace
| Yes, George and | will be married in
| September. Alce-Good gracious. You
don't mean to marry him, do YOU
| Brooklyn Life.
Jack-I made two calls this after
noon, and | must have left my umbrel'
In at the last place | called. Tom
How do you know but that you lett IL
at the first place? Jock-Because that
where | got it.-Scotsman.
aren't you ashamed to go away ana
| leave your wife in tearSE asked the
! near relative. ooh | don't know" an
swered the brutal man; chats the way
she has a good time when she goes U
| the theater. Washington Star.
"My, what an untidy man. exclaimed
| the fair visitor to our sanctum. Nho s
is the one with his desk in such lit
teri" And then she was sure she was
being jollied when her guide said it was
the literary Observation-Disclosures Press
First Young THING am going 10
wear evening dress at the party next
| Thursday Second Young Thing-Aha
| aren't you looking forward to 1t! FlfS'
Young Thing-O dear, no! The pare
! idea frightens me.-Somerville journal
mo, | don't like DR. Thirdly said
| Mrs. Kilduff emphatically WHATS Nc
done?" asked Mrs. Tenspot. wen, ne
asked all the ladies in the congregation
/ to remove their hats. And it was East,
or Sunday, mind you"-Cleyeiahu
| Plain Dealer.
The wicked, witty prodigal returned
! and in his old manner accosteu no
! father: "Well governor, I've come
! back. Are you going to kill the ta''e'
| q D,I+ 10 old nnntl nnlnn WIS