The Savannah morning news., 1901-09-30
UNCLE MINGO's SARCASM.
The Colonel Had Confidence, but He
Took a Few Precautions

AOVA ~ TIC" precautions.
II say, Uncle" said the waiter. while
Uncle Mingo was at breakfast "dat
was a mighty fine speech de lawyer
make wot was defendin dat Teller at
Buffalo de udder day."
Putty fair" said Uncle Mingo, "wen
you consider how little he could say.
Eben as it was, he had to go out OBJ
his way to slap at we-all down Sout' >"
How was dat?" asked the waiter.
IVY" said Uncle Mingo, "ain't you
seen how he say dat down Sout' dey
lynch man on suspicion, befo' break
fas' edible day; but he say we don't
do nothin' like dat here. We tank dee.
Lord, he say, dat we is not like de
people cen udder parts OBJ dis great
country, nor eben like some OBJ de Re-
publicans an sinners cen udder parts
OBJ dis same state. We keeps de law,
we does, he say, eben dough some cb
de bad mems will occasionally shoot a
President he say.
AN wot you speck," continued I'm
Gle Mingo, was de reason de people
up cen Buffalo nebber lynch dat fell
ler?"
Cause dey couldn't git at him."
said the waiter, promptly.
"Jis So" said Uncle Mingo. IVY,
dey nebber move dat Teller but wot
dey had to sneak him off; an dey had
sojers an p'leece roun' him ontell de
people couldn't eben git sight OBJ him.
An yet dey wasn't 'fraid O. lynchin',
not up dere. Oh, no! Dey didn't do
dem kin O. tings. 1 notices dat wen
dey gifts a Teller all kivered up an
conceal by sojers an p'leece dey don't
generally lynch him. Neider here, nor
noweres else.
Dat put me cen min OBJ a Major
from Car'lina wot come one time to
pay visit to de Kunnell.
1T was bout shutdown, and de Kun
nell an de Major was walkin' roun'
de lot, an hear dem talkin'.
'Kunnell,' de Major say, does you
folks ober here hab any trouble from
stealin' by de lazy an idle class o
niggers?
NO sah,' say de Kunnell, I is proud
to say, Major, dat we don't nebber hab
no trouble O. dat kim none tall. Prince,
he say to de boy cen de horse lot, you
see dat de cow-house do is lock all
right an de winders fasten from de
eenside: udderwise we won't hab
great deal OBJ corn an peas lef' by
mornin'.'
II is glad to hear it, say de Major,
cause ober our ways we fin dat dey
kin be depen' on to take ebber ting
dat's lynn roun' loose
''Dat's bad say de Kunnell; but
it's altogether diffunt wild us; our col
ored people has been bring up mo- bet
ter. Look here, Prince he say, how
often mus 1 keep tellin' you dat all
de axes roun' de wood-pile is to be
l. hAf4 oV.y Ltic,
know, some mornin' dere won't be
ting cen de yard to chop wood wild
1T has always been my idee,' say
de Major, dat dey was putty much de
same all ober de country
Not at ALL say de Kunnell. not
at all. All our darkeys roun here is
perfectly homes See here, Keziah,' he
call out to de cook, blame if you amt
gone an lef' de key cen de hen-house
dol At dat rate we won't hab a
chicken cen de yard tomorrow morn
inn
HAS you any idee, Kunnell,' say
de Major, how come de race is mo-
honester wild you dan wot it is wild
us?'
" It's hard to say, Major say de
onless mebbe it's cause we
treats 'em wild mo- consideration an
confidence dan wot you does. Ellick,'
he call to de oberseer, min you has
dem two guns loaded wild duck-shot;
an glib one to Ben to watch de orchard,
an de udder to Sam to lookout for de
patch tonight. An don't
forgit to tell 'em both dat if 1 fin out
dey falls to sleep, dere IL be de debbil
to pay
Den as dey walk away, I hear de
Major say:
"I'd glib good deal, Kunnell. if we
could only hab de same confidence cen
our cullud people as you has ober here
cen Georgy!'"