davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
Archbishop Keane Sued.

Dubuque, Ia, March 2.-Archbirhop
Keane is sued for Spas over church
middle at Webster City. When a new
church was erected there the German
members claim to have subscribed the
above amount with the express under
standing that they were to have a
German priest when the church was
completed. There are no records of
the promise and, as Hennessy is dead,
the present archbishop knows nothing
about the claims made. The suit has
been begun TO recover this amount.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
MAMMA Allre wien Carrlares,

Washington, March 2.-Consul Gen.
Wildman's last mail report, before
leaving Hong Kong, calls attention to
the folly of mailing trade papers there
which represent carriage and harness
makers, and says that there are but
three carriages and a hearse in that
city. He advised carriage manufac-
turers to turn their attention to Manila,
which he says, is alive with carriages
of every description and where the de.
mand will increase from year 70 year
as the conditions improve.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
Imperial Court to Return.

Pekin, Feb. 27.-Minister Conger has
turned over the affairs of the United
States legation to w. w. Rockhill, to
conduct the negotiations with the
Chinese pienipotentiaries, and he will
return to the United States. Americans
here feel that this arrangement is a
confirmation of the report that every
thing is practically settled. La Hung
Chang expects that the imperial court
will return to Pelin as soon as Motif
CATION is given that the troops of the
allies are vacating the capital.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
Speed in Counting Moner.

The Girard National bank of Phila-
delphia claims to have two clerks of
champion speed in counting cash. One
of them has the record of having
counted 1000 Bland silver dollars In
one and half minutes. The other has
counted in fifty-two seconds 100 one
dollar bills.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
Some peoples idea of knowledge Is
the art of finding out things which
they have no business to know.

Some cough remedies hide cough;
they drug it into silence, but the irri.
tation stays in the lungs to cause
trouble. Morley's Honey Pectoral
soothes. heals, strengthens and cures
thoroughly. The cough stops because
the cause is removed. Price % cents.
Ask your druggist.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

Morley's Sarsaparilla and Iron not
only purifies the blood but makes new,
rich, red blood. If you have skin erup-
tions, boils, abcesses, rheumatism or
scrofula, or if you have rundown,
tired-out-feeling. try this remedy and
note the prompt results Ask your
druggist
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

The PENNSYLVANIA state pharmaceu-
teal board proposes some proper legis-
lation 10 restrict the sale of narcotic
poisons The opinion is held that cer-
tain drugs are too easily procured by
persons who have contracted unfortun=
ate habits and those who are cultivat-
ing vicious tastes.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

An inactive Liver, Stomach disor-
ders, Sick Headaches and other Ills
arising from an imperfect digestion ars
cured by Garfield Tea, which is made
from Herbs
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

Piso's Cure for Consumption is On infalltbls
medicine for coughs and colds.-N. w. SAMUEL,
Ocean Grove. n. J., Feb. IL, 1900.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

For frost-bite, chilblains, sore and
lame Joints, stiffness of muscles, try
Wizard Oil. 1t won't disappoint you.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

FITS Permanently Cured No fts nervousness after
days of DR.. Rline's Great Nerve Restorcr.
Send for FREE $500 trial bottle and treatise
De. r. II. KLINE, Ltd, 93I Arch St. Philadelphia, Pa.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

You can't always judge a man by the
cigars he gives to his friends.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
Rich, Red Blood.

An enemy is man who injuries you
and then refuses to forgive you.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

A small boy is never so full of emo
ton that he has no room for dinner.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

A bad horse is like poor play: it
cant run and it won't draw
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
Try Red Cross Bali Blue. 5 cents

Honesty is undoubtedly the best
policy but it keeps many d man poor.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

The largest diamond found in this
country weighed over twenty-three
carats.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

Good takers are plentiful but good
listeners are hard to find.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

An extravagant man is Away.
preaching economy to his wife.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

Some young men dress SO loud they
can't hear themselves think.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07

Your Fortune; Future business success. misfor-
tune and love affairs 10 retold. only &c, and your
birthdate, by best sstrologer living.
Prof. RHAPHEL, HS74. Binghampton, n. z
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1901-03-07
MIX In a Dried state

Milk In a Dried State.
A lecturer on agriculture predicts
that fifty. years from now milk viii be
sold in dried state to save the trans
e>ortation Of water, that cows will be
MIXED by machinery and butter pro-
duced without churning. The milk
maid must prepare to Join the ranks
Of the new woman.
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21

the parlor of the pretty home of Robert +.
Bishop, of southampton County. 1t has been In
his family for over a Century-eVer since ms
ancestor served as orderly at the head
Yorktown. If il ever leaves the Bishop family IL
is safe 10 say that the sum paid for II Will be
about that which Mr.. Bishop could get for his
farm.
The flask holds "A half pint and is Of old fash
toned blue glass Running over the outside are
seams Of what looks like china porcelain. IL
Is not really glass bottle, perhaps, but for tn"
lack of "A name for the material composing 1t II
is called glass.
The story behind the interesting relic is not
very long one. but it is full OF interest. The
bottle was given to Stith Bishop. soldier in
WaShingtonS army and an ancestor or Kobert
Bishop, the present owner Mr.. Bishop was an
orderly at Washington's headquarters during the
siege Of Yorktown. 1t probably after the
surrender OF CORVALLIS that General Washing
ton sent Orderly Bishop over 10 williamsburg
business. After giving him various direc-
tions regarding what he WAS To do in the old
capital, General Washington gave To his orderly
the bottle and told him to have IL flled with
good WhSkcy at a tavern in williamsburg. There
is no tradition to the brand the soldier was
directed to purchase which is unfortunate, as
the enterprsing distilleT of to-day would find II
an excellent name for the liquor ne Is making
the general charged him TO be careful not to
break lose the bottle II was a present
made him by the Marquis de Lafayette.
or course. Orderly Bishop once knew why he
did not return the flask. and of course he told
the family when he came home from the war;
but the reason is forgotten, and 1t is not likely
that it will be known again.
The bottle is guarded most sacrcdly. glass
case has long covered ii, and it Is seldom raised
to allow closer inspection. The genuneness
of the relic is beyond question. Its history has
been u part Of the history of the Bishop family
for generations.
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21

time he saw the Horne boy coming out of the
parn leading a COW. The witness stated that
ms attention was attracted by the singular fig
ure presented 10y the young man. He wore a
black suit that was so small for him that the
trousers scarcely came down over the tops of
his boots. His arms stuck way out of the arms
of the coat The brother in-law is a very small
man. and the Horne boy is tall and lank The
Horne boy was also wearing his brother-in-law's
stoVepipe hat Of ancient design.
His honor spatted another fly and interrupted
What l want to know is had he been drink
in'?'
Now, your honor" demonstrated one of the
lawyers in a plaintive tone. Il must maintain
that your honor should not ask such a question
that. You have no right''-
What's that?" demanded the court with as
perity. DO you mean to set there an tell me
that / don't have the right to ask all the ques-
tions want to in my own courtroom"
We'll, your honor, ii doesn't seem that the
question has anything to do with this particular
case. Now
Hold on, 1t does. l want to make one job
Of this thing. If he had been drinking hard stuff
1 want to know who sold It TO him and then fine
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21

that man for sellin' liquor There's been too
much devln round in this place lately"
"But that isn't connected with this case"
81 tell ye it is. You look pretty sharp III
fine you for contempt of court"
The lawyer made q grimace behind his hand
and then said, blandly:
Your honor's inquiry is all right as a question
OF fact But / have watched your honOrs course
carefully in the past and have found that your
honor, being thoroughly grounded in the law
and procedure, has always made us follow care
fully the statutes; and SO / was only taking the
liberty Of insisting on practice that your honor
has laid down"
The satire was lost on the court. "Ahem" he
coughed. We'll perhaps the question is not ma
terial-not material The may go on"
Then satisfied by the fashion in which the court
had crawfshed, his honor leaned down behind
the desk and, under the pretence OF sharpening
a lead pencil sliced off a big chew OF tobacco
He tucked that into his cheek and then. catch
ing sight of another fly, he mashed him with the
folded paper. a second fly came down TO dis
cover what the explosion meant, and the court
annihilated him also.
1t was proved in evidence that the Horne boy
had taken the and sold it in an adjoining
town. that he had then spent the money in riot
Gus living and in seeing the circus. In defence
the Horne boy declared that he had done the
thing merely for a joke. AT the Word Joke
the court rose UP with such fury on his counte-
nance that the crowd astonished.
You poor cheap, Iaisrabe, benighted son o
Satanr' he roarea. There's altogether too much
iokin' guin' OF round this place. I'll break up
this jokin' or TI-Ill-wal, will, anyway.
Then the listeners remembered that only the
week before some joker had put stuffed skunk
i'm the postrnascr's -four soreroom at the rear OF
his market The court had nearly disiocated
his arm in shooting at the intruder
Il would like to make the argument now IN
terrupted the lawyer for the defence.
There hain't room for argument, roared
the court and ne brought down his fist and
mashed another fly without knowing it. You
could talk all day and you couldn't change my
opinion know all about this case. I've had the
opinion all writ for two days"
And then his honor drew a folded paper from
his inside pocket and read the decision. 1t was
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21

that the Horne boy guilty, and in thunder
Gus tones the court called upon him to stand up
"Hearken to the sentence which this court i'm
poses on you. l sentence you to serve one year
in the county Jail on bread and water and
and'-the court evidently remembered death
sentence that he had heard, for he looked up
from the paper glared at the Horne boy, and
reared, And may God have mercy on your
soul"
The lawyer attempted to remonstrate that
such sentence was beyond the power OF the trial
justice court. but his honor Immediately ad-
journed and stumped down stairs After cooling
down and listening to the lawyers and the fam
lily, however, he changed the sentence to read
three dollars fine and no costs"
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21
EQUAL TO THE OCCASION.

From The Chicago Record Herald.
Colonel" she said when they were alone on
the stairway, father tells me you are u man
who never fails. lie says when you undertake
carry point you carry it; that if you ara
sent raise a siege, you raise il, and he says
ne believes if you sent out to find thu
North Pole you would hoist the flag on it
Yes" the bluft old soldier replied. that's mo
and when | want to get out of corner escape
Excuse me, over there's friend of mine that !
want to or particular business.
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21
GENERAL ITASHINGrON'S FLASK.

From The Richmond Times
Relics of the Father of His Country of which
the public does not generally know are ex-
tremely rare, but a man of Southampton County
has one which has attached to it a story Of
more than the interest of the great majority of
the stories which Parson Weems began telling
about Washington, and which were believed by
two or three generations of young Americans
The relic in question is a whskey flask which
has for a long time been on the centre table in
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21
HIS STATUS.
From The Chicago Tribune.

From The Chicago Tribune.
But" urged the man with the pompadour,
don't you consider Bryan still Presidential
possibility"
"Oh, yes" returned the man with the bald
forehead but | also consider him the strongest
Presidential improbabilty in the whole country"
New-York tribune., 1901-07-21
UNAPPRECIiTITE.
Detroit Journal.

From The Detroit Journal
You find spring water very great advantage
in darying. presume?'
"Oh, L don't know" said the mkman; the
average person buying milk doesn't know the
difference between spring water and any other
kind"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
Collecting Flag" Photos.

Say, gunner, give us yer flag photo"
The speaker (writes our representative
was pale, mOon-faccd Young urchin
with large. mournful eyes and a stock of
three half-penny evening papers under
his arm. And | was coming out of a to-
bacconist's shop not far freq. Charing-
cross. What flag photo was | had
not the slightest notion, still less why
the youngster should suppose such thing
TO be in my possession.
What is a 'fag photoT" | asked.
"Garn" he replied, contemptuousiy
them pictcrs of genrals an crck tiers an
beautiful lydies w0t yer gtS IN thrippny
packets IL yer got one o. Quafe er Ba-
den-P0wen yer con ave n Echo for it,"
Then it dawned upon me that flag" is
the street boys slang for cigarette. de.
rived either from the resemblance of a
bundle of faggots. or from their thrifty
habit of picking up the discarded fag-
ends which the smoker has dropped on
the pavement. The flag photo" was. of
course, the picture generally inserted in
each little box. But there Still remained
the curious fact or the zeal of this poor
little chap as an art collector and his
willingness to barter even one of his na-
porS FOR an almost valueless picture
London News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
This Year . Recort, Rr..,

The effort to keep pace with the
ord-breaking events Of this record bra .ec'
ing year is to break a record in 80.
We have had the largest accumuio o,F'l'
of gold in the national treasury DE ,-oa
known, the largest volume of ~
and imports, the longest rainy sneI 1Ipo .Is
hottest July, the largest Gotten cro, I' IN! ne
heaviest pension roll, the longest iii siioo Inc
on the part Of Bryan and several otbee
rejoicing and some otherwise. A. CJSI ion
est of all comes the Celtic, the hat III ial-
ship ever fioated. and the trotter C SesI
ceus setting all records aside in tho res res
ing world. Who shall venture to % na rae
the record TO be broken next?-LesIia;ee
Weekly 10SNe
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
THREE CIGARS A DAY.
Man Who was Not Smoker Takes
Doctors Advice Literally,

Man Who was Not Smoker Takes
Doctors Advice Literally,
The consulting room of Carlsbad
physician seems about the last place in
the world for humorous incidents. Yet
this is what happened in one Of those
haunts of the sick the ether day. \ nov
patient after having been Thoroughly
CrOss-eXamined by the doctor had re
ceived minute Instructions as to diet. etc.
and was dismissed with this injunction:
AS for smoking. you must limit yourself
to three cigars daily: three light cigars
and no more" After few days the pa
tient appears again in the consulting
room. We'll, and how are you?" asks
the physician. II should be all right"
replies the patient. but your orders
about smoking are difficult to follow"
II am sorry" the doctor says Categorical
" hut no more than three cigars Il day.
You must just put up with IT," But.
doctor it really is an awful business.
Wouldn't two 4 day do? | feel i'll every
time | smoke" why. man, what in
The world do you smoke for at all, if that
is the casey' the doctor rOared. But.
doctor wasn't it you yourself who sai2
three cigars a day and no more? OF
course, thought they We're part of the
cure, and began upon them, though I've
never in my life taken to smoking. :"
Westminster Gazette
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
TIE DEAR OLD Joke.

! love the joke. the dear old joke
The joke of long ago;
That gibe the wandering minstrel spoke
When first | saw show.
All. do not chide me though / sit
In silence mid the chat;
Ny feelings are, amid this Wit,
Too reverent for laugh
My grandsire told il years aZone
With venerable glee:
His grandsire unto him made known
That gentle pleasantly;
II was my fathers favorite fling
Whene'er that jest he'd tell
My mother bade us dance and sing
Because he felt so we'll
And some time, when the day is done,
That quip | may Tecite
To cheer a cherished cherub son
Ere he retires ut night.
For | am sure that sally has
The qualities TO last
As far into the future as
It's travelled through the past
And that is why ! sit and sigh
Mid the applauding thr0ng;
/ greet ii with a tear-dimmed eye
That joke I've loved so long.
And plays may come. and plays may 30;
| still attend with Zest,
For there I'll always meet, | know,
That ever welc0m" jest.
Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19

The late Lord Savilc used to say. ac.
cordng to the Canine Friend. that high
diplomats had always to he on thei.
guard against intriguing women, main
~ Russian agents, who would use any
vile to extract information. During the
Russo Turkish war, when Europe was
always on the verge of crisis and Rus
sian statesmen were most anxious t.
know what England would do under
given circumstances. a lady came up Ia
him suddenly at ball, and said:
II hear that the Russians have made
a forced march and entered CONSTANT
noplc, hoping, no doubt that he would
be- surprised into some indiscrect express
sion.
He merely replied:
Indeed. And | suppose the Sultan
has conferred on them the Order OF tn.
Turkish Bath"
The lady continued. gravcly:
And they say in Paris tnat, il Eng
land does not Interfere, the Eastern
question is settled in favor of Russia"
And that" replied his excellency, is
| suppose. the new Judgment of Paris
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
COMPENSATION.

Where have they vanished the mysterious
lands,
Which off, far-oT beholden, bathcd in
gold,
with geni and wonders manifold,
And great palms towering from burning
sands,
We fashioned with imagnat0ns hands
From unforg0tten legends strangely oldE
Where have they ranished?-Science,
swift and bold,
Has torn the fairy fabric into strands.
Yet we have stolen from the coming years
The undiscovered realms that once were
ours,
Not in revolt: but conscious that the
hours
Hold rich requtal for old hopes and fears;--
And in these changes unperturbed we see
The patient purpose of Divinity.
Felix y. Gerson in New Lippincott.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
Mrs. NIadison's Case

Polk City, Iowa, Oct. 14.-For on..
ten years Mrs. Elizabeth p Maids
a respected lady of this place bar
suffered most severely with Kidna"
trouble complicated with deranramant,
of the bowels and liver. Rheumatisn,
another painful result of derangeI Kid
of pain. sssssss sss v ~
treatments and medicines witbo,,.
number were tried; physicians also
exhausted their skin, bat all 10 no
purpose 3e.~ess..
At this stage of the case \ tra,+
ment of Dodd's Kidney Pills was re,
sorted to, and the results were sinnIr
miraculous, from the very first boy nm
improvement was noticed and the con.
tinued treatment resulted in comnlato
cure.
This remarkable cure created do
cided sensation in the neighborhood
because of the complications of tho
case as well as its severity and apnar.
ent hopeleSSness.
Upon investigation Dodd's Kidnav
Pills are found to be the only remedv
that has ever cured Bright's Disease
Diabetes or Dr0psy, and these hitherto
incurable diseases are readily copouer.
ed by this remarkable remedy.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
MINISTER HAD NO VACATION.
Expenses OF Preliminaries Left Def
icit Instead of Surpins.


Our minister did not go on his vaca-
ton this summer, as he expected" said
Brown. with an amused smile. 'He ful-
ly intended to, and had made his ar
rangements to that effect. But circum-
stances ever which he had 10 control
were such that he decided at the last
minute to remain at home.
MY wife and several other enthuSi-
astic women members of the church hit
upon the happy idea of raising fund
sufficient to defray the good mans eX-
penses, as he has 4 large family and
finds it difficult to make both ends meet
With this in view they held several 'af-
fairs and at last were the proud pos
SCISSORS of something over $50. Then
they decided to make the presentation q
gala event and give the members of the
church chance to send Rev. Mr..
Blank away with the good wishes Of the
whole congregation.
1T occurred to my wife that Il little
music would add 60 the happy occasion.
and she saw that some musicians were
engaged. Another member of the com
mittce thought that a light lunch would
be a happy idea. and took ii upon her
self to see that it was ordered. Another
one conceived the plan of having the
church decorated for the suspicious oc-
casion. and hired a man to do the work.
EARLY in the evening when they met
to compare notes they discovered, to their
horror, that their expenses had not only
eaten up the amount that they had
raised. but had left them a matter of
81 or So in debt, so the presentation had
to be omitted.
81 asked my wife who she expected
was going to make this amount good, and
she snapped:
''Rev. Blank, of course! II was
all done III his interest Detroit Free
TbrpSs
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19
IL Depended.

The pecuniary difficulties in which as
pirantS for literary fame become involved
have inspired many an anecdote.
Here's a poem on the Imerald Oisle.
sorr," said frayed-looking individual t
the editor of weekly newspaper in 4
large town, AN it's hoping you'll take
il. Oh am
'What is your address," inquired the
editor.
"Thl; dep nds ontoircly on you. Sorr
Depends on mp:" echoed the editor
what do you meant
IF you take the poem. sorr. me ad
dthresS will shtill be sivcnty-wan King
sthrate." replied the sanguine poet; "5ui
if YOU don't take it. it's mesilf that'n be
left without amy addthreSs to me name
for me landlady kapeS her wurrd. >orr'
-Iond0n Spare Moments.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-19

There is no other "h0use" IN the cOun-
try like the Crown inn, Wilsham Brook
near Bury st. Edmunds, says a London
newspaper. Every wear for the past
decade the license has been duly re-
newed at the brewster sessions. But
during all that time no one can boast
of having quenched his thirst at the sign
of the crown. The place, in fact, has
been closed, the occupier-a strict tee
totalery-adopting this curious method OF
asserting his principles. Recently the
license was withdrawn, the juStires com
ing 10 the conclusion that the public had
no need of an inn that never opened its
doors.