West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-03-07
lorus through their chattering

hhdl 'hcfe is ulHercnCc OF al least
10 degrees between your tempera-
ture and that of the weather. You
will now each of you take lozenge
in your mouth and let it slowly dis
solve. In two minutes your blood
ought 10 be the same temperature
as the weather. In five you ought
to imagine that robbins are singing
and daisies blooming around you"
As Mr.. Bowser wasn't experiment
ing on himself he discreetly retired
to the warm atmosphere of the kitch-
EN- and took his stand at a window.
He had scarcely begun his observa.
tons when one of the tramps rolled
over and began to kick like horse
tangled up in his harness, while the
other sprang TO his feet and spat
and spluttered and coughed and
crammed his mouth full of snow.
"What are you fellows up to ?"
shouted Mr.. Bowser as he rushed
out.
They gave him no heed. They
seemed to be acrobats let loose, and
they went through more antics than
as IT they had picked up a dozen
hot horseshoes. 1t was five minutes
before either of them could speak,
and then one cooled his mouth with
an icicle hanging to the clothesline
and suffered
"B- boss, what s.s-sort of a
g-g-game is this ?"
eyes, what sort of gamer"
added the other as a SNOWFALL melt
ed in his mouth.
"lts no game at all. It's an ex-
pertinent as l told you. What have
you done with those lozenges ?"
"S-s-spit 'em out, durn we !"
eyes, sp-spit 'em out |"
"But you mustn't do it. These
are to raise the temperature of your
blood until it affects the tempera-
ture of the atmosphere. If you'd
kept sucking the lozenges, you'd
have been perspiring by this time.
Sit down and try it again"
"Bill," said the first as he con-
tinued to eat snow and draw in long
breaths of frosty air, "does it look
like a cold blooded attempt to burn
up the vitals of two respectable
gents ?"
cit do, Sam it do"
"And by burnin' up our vitals
take away our appetites?"
"rhat's the game"
off it was playing any game,
would l promise you quarter
apiece ?" asked Mr.. Bowser.
"It's my solemn opinyun that we
would"
"That's our solemn opinyun."
Mr.. Bowser was about to protest
and increase his cash offers when
the two gentlemen with burned vi
tails fell upon him. The three went
down together, and Mrs. Bowser,
looking from a back window, and
the cook and cat, looking from a
back door, could see nothing for
the next two minutes for the cloud
OF snow in the air. Then the two
tramps detached themselves from the
circus and climbed the yard fence,
and the household went out to look
for Mr.. Bowser. There were thou
sands of traces of him at hand, but
it took three minutes to discover
his actual presence and dig it out
from under the snow. He had been
thumpped and kicked and choked,
but life had not departed. He soon
rallied and sat up, and after being
helped to his feet he made his WOO
~ way to the kitchen and thence up
stairs. He did not ask what had
happened, and Mrs. Bowser gave
him a rest of IS minutes on the
lounge before she said
with your temperature at the
point it is do you think you can
reach the North pcle2"
He lifted up his head and glared
at her.
81 suppose the Government ought
to be notified at once, and if you
don't feel well | can do it myself"
Another glare, followed by a
gritting of his teeth, and it was 10
minutes before she observed
'I'ye told the cook to heat some
witch hazel to wash off the blood.
Do you wish for any particular
temperature ?"
But Mr.. Bowser had grown
weary Of North Pole and fallen
asleep, and she counted seven
different scratches on his nose and
wondered how he'd look on the
street on the morrow.
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A regiment all told, Of III, de
rar0oI ,,J Hi. ..- .r