Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-01-31
Pungent Paragraphs

Many man who sets up for a wit
should be immediately set down again.
70 encounter banana peel on the
sidewalk is a sign that the hoodooed
person will shortly encounter the side
walk.
Among the sad sights seen near
here occasionally is 4 bachelor hold
ing baby, woman throwing Mt a
eat and one armed man out riding
with a pretty girl on moonlight
night One OF the amusing scenes is to
see a church usher try to crowd seven
pers MS into pew that is only large
enough for four.
An exchange on trusts says: And
while we are on the subject of
trusts there is the corset trust.
That has undoubtedly come to .staye'
and think Of the people it has
squeezed" 1t goes to '.waist,"
but sometimes it is hard to get
around it. In spite of the money be-
hind it, it is generally on the verge
of bust" But there is one thing
that can be said for it, it is distinct
and at all times ''anti expansion"
Jaws to be avoided the jaws of
death.
A word to the wise is sdflicienr,
but he is sometimes wiser who doesn't
speak it. According to some mems
notions the law that needs repeating
most is mother-in-law.
It's really surprising how much hap
piness or misery lies in the circle of
wedding ring.
Instructors in elocutiou may teach
man how to speak but unfortunately
not what to say.
"Do you object to the word obey
in the marriage service?" "Oh,
Charley, this is SO sudden.
Standing armies are no doubt
Objectionable, but they are good
deal better than running ones
The sting of wasp is only one
thirty second of an inch long. The
rest of mile and half is imagin-
alton.
The girl with the auburn hair may
make a hit in Kansas City, but the
girl with the belgian hare, according
to the Florence Bulletin, Is the win
ner in central Kansas.
A ship having two owners must
be partnership
Florida people are going more and
more into the small truit and orange
| business.
1t is hot every time a woman MARI
les the man She loves the best, but
the man who pops"
The Kentucky man whose wife gave
birth to quartettes found marriage
bowling success.
Kitchener might vary the form of
his dispatches 10y merely saying de
Wet has stopped over again
The truest measure of mans
ability is the length Of time it takes
him to discover when he is in the
wrong.
All a man has to do in order to
make men believe he is wise IS To
give them advice corresponding with
his own individual opiuion.
1t is said there are %, 600, 600 slaves
III CHINA and that girls fetch about
$40 apiece or somewhat less than pigs
There would seem to be some use
for missionaries in China after all.
The least satisfied and the most un-
happy man in the world is the most
selfish man in it.
That boy near Roam, Ind who swal-
lowed a tpc-dUllar gold piece is worth
more than a cent.
E~terhazy,the central figure in the
Drcyfus case, is roaming the steets
Of London begging aims.
Before ending the war in South
Africa again the British would do
well to consult the Beers who appear
to have something 10 say it the mat
ter
The reason why So many teams run
way with lovers when they are out
driving, is because the young men
have not learned to drive with one
hand.
A story first heard at mothers knee
is seldom forgotten and the same
may be said Of other things
received at mothers knee, which will
be remembered by many of our read
ers.
Rev Arson Phelps Stokes Jr., the
millionaire clergyman, is evidently
man Of parts. He has just applied
for patent on a game OF parlor golf
from which he is likely to get an in
come larger than his salary.
An English trade paper pleads that
British horn makers should be let into
the advantages Of the American field
on he ground Of that close kinshIp'
which exists between the two nations.
Our Gritish cousins should remem-
emil Der that cuisines. is business and
that consanguiueyus sentiment Is
tIuite another thing