West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-01-10
MRS. cALLuP's
LAMENTS.
She is n Little Mixed as 90 the Future
but Resigned 10 Die.

Gallup was singing Crock of Ages"
and clearing away the supper table.
He had been reading for quarter
of an honr, whea she quietly enter
ed and sat down and said
Samuel, l don't want to disturb
you nor make you fell bad, bur
feel obliged to ask you few ques-
tions. Last night at midnight Mrs.
Watkins saw light moving around
in our back yard. 1t was light
which bobbed up and bobbed down
and lodged this way and that, and
when it finally went out gave a great
wink and splitter. 1t was what they
call a ghost lantern, Samuel, and it
meant that there would be death in
this house within a week tn be
my death, of course. I've got 81
different ailments, with heart disease
throwed in, while you are as healthy
as a cornheld. Yes it'll be me,
but I'm not weeping over it. Pm
sittin' right here as calm as catnip,
but want TO know some few things"
Mr.. Gallup must have known of
her presence, but he was too deeply
interested in his paper to recognize
it. He had found an article which
said that bedbug could be boiled
in water for four hours and then
come out with its ambition undaunt-
ed.
al shall go TO heaven when | die,
of course" continued Mrs. Gallup
as her voice broke little. l orter
go there. Any woman who has
whitewashed the cellar every spring
for 81 years, besides maxim soft
soap, cutting carpet rags, dyein'
over old clothes and maxim one
corset last 10 years, will go to heav.
EN- on the jump. What bothers me,
however, is how Pam goin' to act
arter | git there. You know how
company allus illustrates me. If three
or four of the neighbors come in,
Pam almost sure to fall off my cheer
or knock over sunthin'. How's it
goin' to be when l git up there and
meet hull pasture full of angels
There'll be millions of 'em, Samuel,
and they'll all be lookin' at me and
wonderin' who | am, and I'll be so
upset that I'll fall over my own feet. +"
She paused to wipe the tears from
her eyes with the palm of her hand,
but as she had asked no direct
questions Mr.. Gallup finished the
bug article and turned to one on
the care of clotheslines.
81 don't want to be looked at and
p'inted out and made fun of up
there" said Mrs. Gallup as she sat
with her eyes on the carpet. "All
night long last night couldn't sleep
for thinkin' that some of the angels
would turn up their noses at me and
want to know what on airth / was
doin' there. You remember Sarah
Jane Bixby, who died two years
ago Sarah was snippy and sassy.
If she went to heaven. it would be
jest her way to want to know Why
I'd come hyin up there, with my
rheumatiz and backaches. I'd have
to sass her back, and then what
would happen2 Angels do sass
each other sometimes, don't they,
Samuel p
II Mr.. Gallup had ever given the
matter 4 thought, he was too busy
to discuss it. The statement was
right before his eyes that 900, 600
miles of clothesline went to destruc
ton every year for want of being
hung up in the wooGshed when not
in use, and he was rejecting on the
carelessness of humanity in general
al may git up to heaven in the
night, when all the angels are asleep,
and so I'll slip in ali right. hope
that'll be the way, because it'll give
me a chance to kind o. git used to
the place before daylight. Do you
think they have any breakfast mp
there Mrs. Watkins says they
don't, but I don't really see how they
git along without il. know
should feel goneness all day with
out breakfast. And / want you to
look at me, Samuel, and see II I'm
the homeliest woman ever born.
/ have read that when we die we
are changed as in the twinklin' Of an
eye. hope its so. If it amt,
then ] can't expect no good times
up there. Them angels will be
p'intin' out my lop shoulder, my big
feet and my wabbly knees and
whisperin' to each other that I'd
better staid down on airlh among
the cabbagcs. Nobody as knows
me can call me obstinate or sot,
but I'll be summed if propose to
die and become an angel to be inside