Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-08
GOOD
Short Stories

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Ex-Speaker Reed was in the Supreme
Court at Washington, D. c., recently,
when the justices were slow In assem-
bling. Mr.. Reed waited with an ele-
phantine patience. Presently a friend
of his leaned over to him and whisper
ed: "Mr. Speaker, can't you count
quorum y A look of grave reproach
oyerspread the retired statesman's face.
Sir" said he, in tone Of dignity, ''you
forget that when I counted a quorum,
there always was a quorum"
Senator Bailey, Of Texas, has a face
like cherub. 1t is round and soft and
full of color. One day, in the corridor
OF the Senate, he was approached by
g1ggling young woman, who asked, rap
turously: "Oh, Senator, where In the
world did you get your pretty pink COM
plexion? Bailey was embarrassed
only for an instant. Looking her
straight in the eye and tapping her
lightly on her slightly rouged cheek, he
very gravely asked: Where In the
city did you get yours?"
!
quatrains from Omar which have come
Into such great popularity under the
Persian name of "Rubaiyat," and there
by excited curiosity sufficiently great
to have his other translations and adap-
tat1ons given to the world, was witty
and when In society left his mark. 1t Is
told of him that being once thrown in
company with notorious tuft-hunter,
whose only conversation concerned his
personal experiences with the nobility,
FftzGerald waited for time, then rose
to go, saying with an attitude and ac-
! cent of profound detection: 81 knew
lord once, but he Is dead"
Mr.. Sim, the major-domo of Stafford
House, the residence Of the Duke of
Sutherland, is distinguished among the
most distinguished major-domos, mai
tres d'hotel, and buffers of the highest
circles. 1t is said that the Kings own
servants look up to him as the leader
of their profession. The seal Is set
upon his aristocratic fame by remark
which is attributed to him. They say
that he once went to see BeerbOhm
Tree play Hamlet Asked afterward
what he thought of 1t, he is reported
loftily to have remarked: "Well, it's
extraordinary the various ways the
lower orders have of getting their liv-
ings."
Herbert Spencer, the great English
sociologist and philosopher, is very fond
of game of billiards, and the other
day at the Reform Club in London he
met an acquaintance whom he invited
to play with him. The young member
accepted, and Spencer said, joyfully,
as he chalked his cue: Young man,
good billiard playing is the proof Of q
well-balanced mind" sI believe it is, /"
replied the young man. They played
and the great writer was beaten fear
fully. He had only scored thirty y-eight
when his young antagonist finished his
one hundred. Herbert Spencer put the
cue away in disgust. young man." he
said, asuch fine billiard-playing as
yours is the pHeof Of an ill-spent
youth. .
AS youngster, Admiral George
4 Dewey was completely carried away by
tales of valor on bloody fields, and by
stories Of great campaigns won by ia
nous commanders. Once his father
read to him the story of Hannibal
crossing the Alps. The recital made a
great impression on the boy. 1t was
In the dead of winter, and on the fol
lowing day he told the story to his little
sister Mary, and asked her to be his
army, proposing to cross the only
"Alps' in the neighborhood, large hill
which fianked Montpelier to the north
She readily consented, and young
George and his army set out on their
undertaking. 1t was keen and cold
the snow lying deep on the ground
and piled into huge drifts in ravines
and along fences. With wooden sword
In hand, George conducted his army tc
the crest of the ALPS" from which he
looked down on that part of Italy" en-
compassed by Washington County. The
army froze the tip of its nose and one
ear, while Hannibal had two of his toes
frost bitten. A farmer took the expe
dition into his bob-sled, and carried il
back to Montpelier.
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