The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-07-26
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Photographer Ito Captain in his new
uniform) -Iook fierce, please.-Cincin-
| natl Enquirer. -,. .>..-,.... ....
Some Filipino of original ideas will
yet distinguish himself by surrendering
as a private.-Chicago Daily News.
A little fellow who saw a steamboat
for the first time exclaimed: Look,
| mamma! There is a railway engine
| taking BATH
"Chaplain,'' said soldier boy who
| had received a delicacy, eve been
wishing the stone in that peach hadn't
been SO large"
Those Dear Girls: Madg-Charlie
| proposed twice before I accepted him.
Marjorie-Didn't you hear him the first
time?-Town Topics.
Aunt Hanpah-The young married
| woman Of to-day does not know how to
| bring up child. Uncle George-And
so she tries it on a dog.-Boston Tran
script.
Shelby dear, sent home the most
beautiful hat to-day, for thirty-fve dol
| lars-it's perfect love. He-All right,
darling, your love will be returned
Harper's Bazaar.
First Scientist hear that your dog
went mad and bit Prof. Snagroots. Any
serious results? Second Scientist-Yes,
the poor beast is barking in Latin and
Greek.-Chicago News.
"A tinancier is a man who makes lots
of money, isn't it, father?" mo, Fred
dy: financier is man who gets hold
Of lots of money other people have
made."-Our Dumb Animals.
"Why do you not eat your apple.
Tommy" I'm waiting till Johnny
Briggs comes along. Apples taste much
better when there's some other fellow
to watch you eat 'em."-Tit-Bits.
Stoutman struggling and crowding
to force himself onto the packed step
Of Broadway open car)-Humph!
What's this-the hog car? Elderly Pas
senger-Yes! Jump right on.-Life.
MY hero dies in the middle Of my
latest novel," said the young author.
''That's a grave mistake" replied the
editor. "He should not die before the
reader does" ATLANTA Constitution.
A little girl at Sunday school, being
asked what it meant to bear false wit
ness against ones neighbor, replied:
1T is when nobody hain't done moth
ing and somebody goes and tells it,
Hicks-The easy writer's. have deal
to say about 1.-THE dead Of night" When
is that, I wonder? Wicks-The dead Of
night, suppose. is when everybody is
| buried in Standardization Transcript.
Mr.. Ferguson-What a fiery waist
YOU have on! What color is it? Mrs.
Ferguson-Ox-b blood. Mr.. Ferguson-1
began to understand now why you told
the dressmaker to put in another gore.
| Gladys-Papa, do you suppose that
the Parisians will understand my
French? Papa-I can't say, Gladys; If
you speak French as fast as you speak
English they won't even know 1t is
French.-Indianapoli Journal.
"Why did you give up your amateur
production Of 'Macbeth?" "Oh, there
wouldn't any of the girls play the parts
of the witches unless we'd let them
wear low-necked gowns and Janice
Meredith curls "-Philadelphia Bulle-
| tin.
A bright boy of years while playing
fell and hurt himself. His mother
caught him up in her arms, kissed him
and began to wipe away the tears with
her handkerchief, when he exclaimed:
Don't wipe my eyes yet; I'm not done
crying"
Husband reading)-1t is said that ev-
cry time a woman gets angry she adds
a new wrinkle to her face. Wife-Well.
if that's true it is probably wise pro-
vision of nature to let the world know
what kind Of husband she has.-Chi-
cago News.
| "William, a poor man came along
and asked for hat" "What did you
dog" Il gave him your Sunday hat
what on earth did you do that for:"
.Well, knew you would need your old
one to wear when you go fishing.'-
Chicago Record.
Easier Way: Il suppose you people
down here are boring new oil wells
every day." the stranger said. ''That,"
| responded the business-like Texan,
would, indeed, be running things into
the ground. We find it easier and
more profitable to bore into the pockets
CT the tenderfeet." -Chicago Tribune.
Amusing the Children: Mrs. Nc
Shantee (triumphantly)-l see We are
takin' in washin' again, Mrs. McProu-
dee! Mrs. McProudee (whose husband
has lost paying job)-sure, it's only
to amuse tn childder. They wants tn
windies covered wild steam, so they can
make pictures on thim.-New York
! Weekly.
Noah Tall-What's the matter You
| look mad. e. Il. Mark-1 am mad.
bought pet monkey for my boy yes
terday, and the beast died this morn.
ing. The dealer simply swindled me.