The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-07-21
FUN OF The WORLD.


so you proposed 70 Miss Chalers2''
Yes. answered Willie Washington
You must have known she would re-
ject You
of course. But it Is an old saying that
women cant keep a secret. and was
AFRAID she would get "a comparing notes
1 had proposed 10 ali the other girls. and
dlan want her 20 Zee. sighted
K
The following advertisement was insert
81 IN q Ch.Cago evening uauer oF July 5.
'Wanted-Girl for general house work.
union or non-union. any old kind: family
or three adults and three children. with
nurse. and occupy small house at Sheri-
dan PARK, tao books from y. w Eleva-
teo' nice, large. airy room. with south
west nreeze for girl. no washing. nor
much OF any ing else to Do, our girl
quit yesterday because we invited Some,
relatives 20 help MS celebrate the Fourth:
II girl demands IL. we viii dssown our
relatives ana rerounce our country.
WAGES s., Address i. care Daily News
Contrasting the ancient church with
the modern, Phillips Brooks once remark
ed that the early devout tried to save
their young men from being thrown 70
the lions Now, we are giad he add
ed. IL We can save them freu going 10
the dogs A clergyman going abroad
talked n jest OF bringing back a new
religion with him. You might nave
some trouble IN getting IL through the
custom house. some one remarked
No. remarked Bishop Brooks I'VE
may take il for granted that a new re-
hgion would have no duties attached"
Would YOU he kind enough 70 return
my Photograph she wrote. i gave II
70 you in q moment OF girlish folly and
/ have since had occasion 70 regret that
I was so thoughtiess in such matters.
OF course. she pictured the photograph
framed and hung up in his room. and was
inclined 70 think that he would part with
il IN deep regret. Just why she wanted
il returned is immatcriai
or course. he had Offended her in some
way. but il is unnecessary 70 inquire
how. The reply TO her note came the fol-
lowing day.
4 regret is said. that 7 am unable
at this late day TO pick out your photo
graph. However, I send my entire COLI
lection, numbering little over SD, and
would request that YOU return all except
your own by express messenger At my
expense
gs ZEE
good story is told Of ona Of the dig
nitaries of the Scottish church Pcio.o
he became known 90 fame he was q
minister Of a parish in Perthshire and
was rot considered a particularly attrac-
tive preacher. At ais suggestion. extern
sive alterations were made in the trans
cept of his church. and these had the ef-
feet of sweeping away considerable seat
ing accommodation. one day. after the
alterations had been effected. he visited
the church 20 sec how 10 looked
What do YOU think Of the improve
ments. john" he asked Of the beadle
''ImpTOvementsr exclaimed John in dis
dain. They're no improvements at q.
Whaur are We goin' % put the folks?
"Oh. said the minister, 1--WE have album
dance Of room. John. considering the
size Of the congregation.
That s a very weel the moo rctorted
the beadle. hut what Will We do when
We get a popular meeister2"
< ss
Many amusing stories are told OF Judge
Macarthur. who was never at loss for
an answer and was never placed IN a po-
sition from which he could not cNtricate
himself by his natural wit. AT the Time
President Grant had so much trouble
with the senate concerning the appoint
ment 10 the chief tusticeship two men
whom he had named having been re-
jected by that body. Judge Macarthur
was urged for this position hy his friends 7
but. refusing 20 be a candidate. Pc threw /
all his influence 20 Judge Miller then /
on the supreme bench. iu this couuec- /
ton. he called upon sac president
May : speak % you Air. President"
he asked, about the matter of the chief \
justiceship?"
Certainly" responded the president. /
on one condition
and what condition IS that?' interro- /
gated Judge Macarthur.
THAT YOU are rot q candidate and are I
not going to urge your own appoint /
ment
"Oh. no. said Judge Macarthur. SEN /
,entiously. II would never suspect this /
Of making So sagacious a +
selection.
On one occasion n junior counsel. q /
their lordships giving Judgment against /
his client exclaimed that be was SURE
nrised at their decision. This was con-
strued into a contempt Of court and tho 4
young barrister was ordered % attend 40 /
The bar the next morning Fearful ~ the 4
he consulted his friend. {
John Scott afterwards Lord E.dou). who /
.old him TO be perfectly AZ ease. for he 4
would apologize for him in way that (
would avert any unpleasant result Ac-
,ordingly. when the name ~ the deiln-
luent was called Scott arose and co0liy
the Judges. II aga very sorry
ny lords De said. chat 5ny young friend /
has SO far forgotten himself az 20 treat
-our lordsalps with disresDect he 81 ex-
remedy penitent. and YOU viii ascrlhe n.s
.nintentional insult % his ignorance. You
must see at once that IL did not originate
q that Tie said DE was surprised az
ho decision Of your l0rdshi0s Vow. ~
ls had not been ignorant - what takes
dace iu this court every dag-bad he
.nown you bat half so long al have
one-he would not BE- surprised 90 ans
hing sou did.
gE ER
when Major General Otis wa7 nothing
a0re than a colocc5 ~ q regiment OF
-nited States regulars. stationed ~ a
orthern army post. with utue ~ break
be duh mouotouy ~ post dgfv. ~ de-
ided 20 give his men employment lT
lndinz dam across tfe river ~ supply
lore water f9r tlc garrison. After the
-ork was wei under wav tho commard-
lg officer one Gav was maklte talr ~ (
lspection when he came across cos-
oral VociferuusIF directing ttc rHnffT ~
squad ~ soldiers who Eere trying ~ p
On q large stone 20 the -tr ots
aiEe1 over 90 che corporal ara. f1-eh-
q him on the shoulder. esfI
Ny man. Why daat yea heiD fr1se
.en2
.Why-er-er-Tm a corporal. s'rr
aEnuere3 The .e,ioW and cent psat ,
; dirty these cherrore
.-0nr esscgfafe5 Ct.r $50 thatr g.
-eIi I'm rot afraid f1 dirty ur urtfe-rr
sI sou reet rot hr after fn-s guess 4
1a rad better faEs ~ rrE chesrans--
- leave them 1r entirety
The next day saw rf~ corporal ras4 q
- 81 company y
Hr