The Irish standard., 1901-06-08
stood guard over him while he slept.

stood guard over him while he slept
"Now, then, fellow-citizens, all of
you who were generals and had pri-
Yates to stand guard over you while
you slept, vote for General Tucker,
and all of you who were privates and
stood guard over the generals while
they slept, vote for Private John
Allen"
The people caught on, took John at
his word, and sent him to congress,
where he stayed until he filed the
world with his acclaim.
1t would perhaps be cruelty to ami
mails to ask any or all of the Dry-as-
Dusts to specify one piece of solemn
wisdom which ever did as much for
congressional candidate as Johns
brief bit Of humor did for him in his
contest with General Tucker and at
the generals expense. Success is uni
versally admitted, right or wrong, to
be the standard of merit, and by rea-
son of his humor John succeeded.
OF course every representative must
make his maiden speech in congress
that is, if he intends to try the ora
torical caper at all. Much depends on
that effort. The congressional tyro
feels that the eyes of the house, of
his constituents, perhaps of the whole
country and of posterity, are fixed
upon him. Generally he is mistaken
as to the number of eyes riveted upon
him, but nevertheless he feels, as he
arises to say "Mr. Speaker" for the
first time that he is sort of universal
optical target, and, so feeling, he is lia-
bic to an attack of heart failure or
stage fright.
In due time John delivered his
maiden speech" in congress, proved
to be one of the lucky ones, and took
an instant aud secure hold on the auri-
cular appendage of the house. when
he has held ever since and which
lie would continue to hold should he
remain in the house until the crack of
doom. The members regard Allen as
a godsend, as welcome and grateful
relief from what the late lamcntetl
Mr.. Mantnlini would have denominat-
cd "the demnition, horrid grind" of the
congressional mill. John arose to
make his maiden speech an obscure
member. Next morning he awoke to
find himself famous. as did Lord By
ron after the publication OF the open
ing cantos of Childe Harold; and the
fame of the Mississippi humorist was
as fairly won and us justly bestowed
as was that of the English poet.
The river and harbor bill was up
John wanted to offer an amendment
making an appropriation for the Tom,
bigbee river. The chairman of the
committee. Mr.. Willis, of Kentucky
had promised him time and had then
forgotten it, John asked unanimous
consent to address the house. and Will
lis tried to help him get it, but some
| ohG ppIStlSh, w 'DulIlt, Will
tears i'll his voice and looking dolefu
as Il hired mourner at Il funeral, said
with melancholy accent: "Well.
should mt least like to have permission
to print some remarks in the RECORD
and insert laughter and applause III
appropriate places" That was his as
tonishing eXordium. The palpable hi
at one of the most common abuses OF
the house, 'the leave to print" tick
led the members greatly, and he sc
cured the unanimous consent which
he desired. He closed that speecl
with an amazing exhibition or gall
which added to his fame more thar
the speech itself. He wound up by
saying: "Now, Mr. Speaker, having
fully answered all the arguments o.
my opponents, l will retire to thu
cloaliroOm Il few moments to receive
the congratulations of admirinc
friends" Which set the house and gal
lcries wild with delight. He did retire
to the cloakrOOm, and did receive tho
congratulations of admiring friends. ;
performance which has been going OF
at frequent intervals ever since.