Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-07
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We'll, STR. who can teilla said Mr.. |
Dooiey. If Il wasn't FIR medical pro-
gress, I'd be sure tn Christyan Scien-
lists was wrong But tn doctor who
attended me whin was young'd be |
thought as loonatieal II he was alive to- |
day as tn mos chrisyan Scientist that |
liver rayjooced a swellin' over a long dis
lance tillyphone. He inthrajooced near |
tn whole parish into this life " sin an
sorrow, he give us calomel with show |
ell. bled us like polis'taptain. an niver
thought amy medicine was good II it |
didn't choke We going down. can see |
him now as he come up dhrlyin' an oil |
gray an yellow horse in a buggy lie
had whiskers that he cud tie in knot |
round his waist an him an tn priest |
was tn on'y two men in tn neighbour
used to say twas tn healthiest parish
in tn wurruld. barrip hanglns an
thransportations an thin come in Faith
err Hickey's province. lvry body
thought he was a gr-reat man but they
wudden't lave him threat a SPAWN In
these days. He was catch as-catch-can
an he'd tackle anything firm pneu-
mony iv tn lungs to premaehure bald
ness He'd MIXER heerd Nv mickrobes
, an nayther did I tell few years ago
whin | was toll they was kind Nv
tina lo ht,U hat xxt IN
ye like spiders. l see pitchers Nv thin
| in tn pa-apers with eyes like pooched
| eggs till dhreamed wan night | was
hayloft full iv bats. Thin tn dock down
tn sthreetlse me fright. He says tn
| mickrobes is a vigitable an ivry man
| is like a conservatory full Nv millyons
| " these potted plants. Some ARE good
! f'r We an some ARE bad. Whin tn
ehpbs roses an geranyums is flourishin
an liftin their dainty petals to tn sun,
ye're healthy, but whin tn other flower
| to call in doctor. yh' doctor Is kind
| Nv gardner FIR ye 'Tis his business f'r
to encourage tn good mickrobes, max
in two pansies grow where wan grew
| befure an to hoe tn Canajeen thistle
an tn milk weed.
well, that sounds all fright an
sind FIR a doctor. Dock, says |. Me
vilets ARE thnnin' out an / feel as
| though | was full w sage BRUSH say.
| TIL dock puts glass chube In me
mouth an says, Don't bite It. Dye
think I'm a glass eat"r?' says /. talkin
| through me teeth like a Kerry lawyer
What's 1t ftp says. TO take ye'er
tlmprachoor, says he. While have TIL
chube in me mouth, he jabs me thumb
| with a needle an laves tn room. He
| comes back about tn time I'm r-ready
to sthrangle an removes tn chube.
| How high does she spout?' says |.
'Ninety-nine,' says he. Good hivens,
says |. Don't come near me, dock, or
| yell be sun sthruck,' ! says. I've just
examined yeer blood he says. We're
| full Nv weeds he says. Be that time
| I'm scared to death, an | say few
prayers, whn he fixes a hose to me
chest an begins listenln'. Anything
goin' on insde?' says |. 'Tis ye'er
heart says he Glory be- says l.
What's tn matther with that oil in
gine?' says l. 1 cud tell ye,' he says
but I'll have to call in Dock Vinthri-
Gle, tn SPECIALIST he says. I oughtn't
be lookin at yeer heart at ALL he says
L niver larned below tn chin an I'd be
fred be tn Union II they knew | was
wurrukin' on tn heart he says. So he
sinds f'r Dock Vinthricle an tn Dock
climbs me chest an listens an thin he
says: 'Theyse something tn matther
with his lungs too he says. AT times
they're full Nv air an again, he says,
they amt, he says. Sind FIR Bellows,
he says. Bellows comes an pounds me
an sinds f'r Dock Laporatteny. TIL
Dock sticks his finger into me side.
What's that fr?' says l. That's
OHanningan's point he says. I don't
see 1t, says T.. O'Hannigan must have
had fine slnse Nv humor' Did IT.
hurt?' says he. Not, says /, as much
as though ye'd used an awl,' says /, or
chisel,' / says, but says, 1t didn't
tickle, / says.
,, He shakes his head an goes out Nv
hit room with tn others an they talk
it over at tin dollars a minyit while I'm
layni' there at two dollars day-docked
Whin they come back, wan Nv thin
says: This here is mos inthrestin'
case an we must have tn whole class
take look into it, he says. 1t means
me, Hinnissy. Dock he says. 'Ye will
remove it's brain. Vinthricle, we will
have it's heart, an Bellows. we will take
it's lungs. AS f'r me- he says. I Will
add wan more vermiform iappindix to
me belt, he says. ''Tis sthrange how
our foolish predecessors says he, 'niv-
err got on tn dangers Nv tn vermiform
appindix.' he says. I have no doubt
that that's what kilt Methusalem,' he