The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1901-05-18
GOT MORE THAN he WANTED
Whe Exacted Too Much Of the
Manager.

"When was mining in the Trans
vaal in 1894" said Parker johnson, OF
Denver, Col, according to the New
York Tribune, ian amusing thing hap
pened. One of the government min
ing inspectors had made himself OBJ
noxious in many ways to the mine
managers. He was one of those char
acters who are jealous of their own
dignity and seek to impress their i'm
portance on others by taking full adj
vantage of any power that they may
have. The inspector had made him.
self general nuisance to the mine
managers by requiring them to do
large number of unnecessary things
and to make to him numerous abso-
lutely frivolous reports. Finally he
sent out an order to the effect that
all accidents that occurred in the
mines, no matter how insignificant
they might be, must be reported to
him. The result of the injury and
the cause thereof he wanted fully
stated.
Zone of the mine managers, who
was an American, resolved to satisfy
his curiosity to the full, and at the
same time, if possible, to render the
inspector ridiculous and teach him
lesson. The following are exact
copies of some of his reports to the
inspector. The story was too good
to keep, and SO it later found its
way into the columns of the Johan-
nesburg Star. When the inspector
read them there 1T was said by one
who was present that he used high
Dutch, low Dutch and jack and game
Dutch in expressing the feeling that
overcame him:
"'To the Mining Inspector-Dear
Sir: ! regret to have to report two
trifing accidents. First-A boy
named Fife slipped off the ladder in
the - ladder way, and, falling a
short distance, slightly sprained leg
and arm. Cause-Handicapp with
al new pair of shoes. Second--A boy
named Jack, by getting caught be-
tween the mechanical haulage cars,
had his stomach squeezed and face
scratched. Cause-Kaffir stupidity
I'm his next report" continued Mr..
johnson, the mine manager waxed
poetical and gave free rein to an ex-
uberant mind. 1t was as follows:
"'To the Mining InspectorDear
Sir: One woe upon another's heels
doth tread, so fast they follow.
have three accidents to report for the
day:
Dick, a native, while toying with
a lathe in the toolshop, lost a finger.
Cause-Curiosity
Dan BOA, native. while cayort-
ing on the veldt, fell and broke his leg.
cause.-the red, red wine.
sNachatana, a native tramboy.
while buckling up his belt had the fin
gers Of one hand torn off. Cause
This accident is wrapped in mystery
and is inexplicable. Machatana swears
by all the gods he can conjure up
that somebody shot him. Several
companions testify to the same ale
CATION. The most careful surgical
scrutiny elicits no information of a
satisfactory nature. Some of the SUI
perstitious natives declare that it is
Divine visitation for sins, the Kaffir
being noted for his irreligion. Indeed,
| 1 am constrained to conclude, in the
face of all the laws of science, that it
| is case of effect without cause
"After receiving these and similar
reports and having them published it
| entered even into the dull brain of
the inspector that he had bitten off
more than he could easily masticate,
and the objectionable order was re.
| called"