The sun., 1901-04-15

way to and fro, from wan TO curp, IN
many fantastic and far reaching
caper. The dancing master can Civ.
the patient but sudden mule points
in the zebra-legged ones own special
ty. And If the dancing master of to-
day could drop into minuet of your
grantlmother's time he would produce
much the same effect which misan'
thropic hornet does when lie volun-
tarily takes part in the closing eXer-
cises OF camp meeting
| Does my lady sit down for a little
| light conversation? She languidly
| grace, upon sofa carryin" deck
load of cushions, and displays
/ straightway an expanse of slippered
| foot, clocked ankle and adjacent anat-
omy that makes II bashful man so
nervous he instinctively hides his own
feet under his chair and forgets what
| he was going to say. She rides to
the hounds or is it sawfter the
'o,ins?"-with display of legs that
makes the long-limbed dog take sec
ond place. although he had two to
her one TO begin with, and you would
naturally suppose she started out
heavily handicapped. And az though
leg was the soul of the animate ami
verse, last summer the equestrian
woman had a fad OF having her sad
dler's legs clipped: just his legs:
| which, contrasting sharply in color
with his silky body, gave the poor
brute the aspect OF having his trousers
rolled up, like wading boy
Legs? They are what he cause OF
emancipated woman stands upon.
When the short walking dress ceased
to be ~ novelty, she. put on the di-
yided skirt and rode straddle. You
can see her. here and there, in the
land, ambing along the avenue like
a heavily draped clothspin, while that
noble animal, the horse, which she
bestrites, plainly intimates to the
spectators that il isn't his fault. and
that he greatly regrets having left
his blnders at home on the coach
harness. The divided skirt was fairly
knocked out by the golf costume
which was easily shortened for basket
ball. until at last she laid hands upon
the knickerbockers. which lad been
the monopoly of masculine youth, put
them on and stradlled her bike like
a little man. And out in Chicago she
put side pockets in them, wore then
to school. and taught the young ide;
how to shoot and walk, until the
school board, so sensitive and con
| 4
woolly west. sternly bade her put OF
her ulster or take off her kniclier
bockers She put on the ulster.
But what's the use of talking
Brother man. we may as well submit
gracefully. We have lost he distin
gushing garment of our sex. But il
is our own fault. For centuries. oul
fathers before MS, and we after them
have made bitter and sarcastic spor
of woman's gear, no matter how Otter
or how she radically changed it,. Sh'
has never vet been able to pleas
, capricious man. Man. who wears
sheet-iron collar. cast-steel cuffs, al
infexible breasiplate on his shirt, ant
a stovepipe hat as graceful End com
IoEtdDlt ii StCtIoIl VI Ivy
+ and then makes fun of woman's mos
ill-considered and uncomfortable dress
I We proved again and again, by he
very dress, her mental and physica
. inferiority to man, and her utter in
capacity for doing mans work in TIL
+ world. Again and again, not for on
, or two years. but for generations, W
| urged her to adopt the very dress sh
: is now beginning to wear. And no,
. that she puts il on we kick harde
than ever. Brethren, it does no good
: For now, behold you, she can kicl
, back. That is he gall of it.. We hav
/. foolishly let the genius out of he
: bottle, and she isn't all smoke. afte
all She is ''onto us" 1t is not de
!, MED that she smokes cigarettes. No
: under the rose, but whenever an
!, wherever she sees fit. II is whispered
t in large. clear print, that she tipple
Il more than her grandmother did.
j. is in evidence that when the governo
p of New York tainted on decoratio
i day. in all the crowd OF both seNe
on the reviewing stands, the govern
ors of neither of the Carolnas bein
present, the only pocket pistol to j
found was in he pocket OF youn
lady, and il was loaded to the muzzl
with good old brandy of the ''drinkel
:. down" brand. And it wasn't in on
:. of he hidden pockets which las
years woman carried concealed o
. her person. either. Because il WA
!, found inside of half an hour.
came out as promptly as the flask q
u candidate. Yea, more promptly, fo
there were candidates on that stan
for every Office in the United STATE,
! from president down, and not a tus
!, among en-, save in the pocket Of thi
woman. Here. sister; take tn
, trousers. BY years, yes, generation
r of brave endurance and patient PEI
sistence YOU have won 'eni nobly
! wear 'em with honor. Put 'em on
Oh good Saint Centipede, not tha
!, way! You can't put 'em on over yon
!, head. Such is the strength Of habi
:. You see. you have some NANNY" way
I Farewell, oh fellow man, a long fare
!, well TO all our bifurcated and distl
- guished greatness!
y Who steals my purse-and many tim
" while we have slept
!. Hath she done this-steals trash. II
: something, tho oftener
n Nothing. Especially after she goe
I through it.
IS Twas ours, when It had anything in Il
tits hern,