Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-06-27

He Discreetly Left Before the vocif.
erousiy Applauded Sentiments He
Expressed In HIS Speech Could BE
Analysed . In Webster.
When the son Of the president of the
Big Mountain Lumber company came
into the mountains to learn the bust.
ness, SO to speak, l knew within Is
minutes that he had come to the
wrong place. He was city chap, new
ly graduated and thoroughly out Of
touch with everything mountainous.
| He was bright fellow, however, and
amply capable, only the mountains
were not the field for his development.
AS time elapsed his distaste grew, and
1t was all he could do not to express
his opinion Of the mountain people,
their manners, customs, homes, morals
and everything connected with them.
He was wise enough to contide in me
alone and bided his time to get away
to some more congenal cline. And
he got away sooner than he expected.
1t happened that there was a public
meeting one night at the sawmill shed,
and he was called on to make a few
remarks. Every other man at the
meeting except myself, who acted as
chairman, was of the mountains, and
their illiterate talk had reused the
young college fellow to the limit. He
saw a chance to get even, in his own
mind at least, and when the call came
for him he responded promptly. His
speech. quite brief, but to the point,
was as follows, copied from his own
manuscript, even the [applausel part:
"My friends, am glad to meet you
on this occasion, for have wished to
say to you publicly what think Of
you, though our acquaintance has not
been long. Coming as a stranger
among you, l was only partly prepared
for what was in store. Now. let me
say to you that half has not been told
me. Applause In the internecine
arena your lethiferous conduct has
artounded me by the trucidation and
decision characterizing it among no
men | have ever known. Loud APP
plause.l In the diversified field of
mendacity your efforts would make
Machiavelli take to the tall timber.
[Uproarious applause In all fura-
cious, raptorial and predacious pur-
suits you have done such wonders
that the gifted and great Jonathan
Wild would lave felt his latrocIny
was sounding brass and his direption
a tinkling cymbal. [Great applause.
In the broad eXpanse of labor your
torpescent oscillation has made you
, sui generis among all pandiculate man
| kind. [Cheers and shouts Of Good fol
us!'] As good livers. your tables
groan beneath their stercoraceous ant
impetiginous burden. and as drinkers
your temulent bibacity has made the
crapulous reputation Of Baccbus to bt
q sign Of puritanicai abstemiousness
loud applause.l As for yourselves,
take pleasure in saying here to you
without fear of successful contradic
ton. that your nugacity Is forever
. established: as observers Of the law
your abelrance Ia Genealogical, ant
personally you are cohesive concat
enation OF rnbigant exuviR, that
take especial pleasure in believing doe
OOt eAlSt tbSeW ucIC Vu C0ith 'oNAA
erOus applause.
When the enthusiasm had cooIe'
down somewhat. be proceeded to spea
on the subjects before the meeting an
sat down. The mOuntaineers wer
pleased to death with the college man
high flown speech about them. an
J though l didn't know the meaning o
t,;r Is ho /
that he had been calling them liars an
murderers and thieves and scoundrel
and drones and laWless drunkarls. bt
sides condemning their fare and anati
ematizing the lot Of them PERSONAL.
But not one Of them suspected. and
was hoping nothing would come of
and they would forget. even If any. {
= the large words were remembered
!, when one day a book agent drove Il
to the office in blackboard and al
nounced that he was selling Webster
Unabridged Dictionary for So cop
and showed sample that was as bi
as n box Of soap.
) Nobody had ever seen so much boo
for the money. nor had anybody ev'
seen dictionary In that neighborhoo
b and when the agent began to tell wifi
a valuable thing 1t was to be In evel
family the men became Interested. al
1t wasn't long until the agent had SO
% copies, to be delivered the folowil
week. When he had gone away wi
his sample. called the young ms
into the private Office for consultatio
Don't say a word" he began
soon as he. had closed the door.
know. exactly where am at al
I'll be some place else before Mr.. We
ster arrives to throw any light on n
recent remarks. am not sheddil
any tears. and in order that the d
ticnary buyers and others may kno
lust what ! think of them shall lea
two dozen copies of my speech for d
tribution On the morning Of my
parture."
He did just as he said he would. a
1t was a good thing for him that
never came back any more.-W.
Hampton in Washington Star.