Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-02-23
TAUGHT HIM A LESSON

The man from a boarding house was din
ing the other evening with the family OF a
| friend and when a luscious hunk of the
most misunderstanding mince pie boarding
house martyr ever stuck a tooth into was
passed to him he declined it.
"W-w-wh-why." stammered the startled
hostess looking at him as IL he had driven
| poisoned dagger to her heart, II made 1t
| myself
Il am sure of it," he replied, with intense
| earnestness, for 1t looks like the work of
| an artist
'Then." she inquired, showing signs of
| modification after pretty an acknowl-
| edgment, why don't you take someT'
Really. my dear madam" he pleaded, ct
| cannot. | received such a shock after my
| efforts in that direction last Thanksgiving
| that l dare not yet put myself again to the
| test"
Under the circumstances an explanation
/ was necessary. and the guest told the fol-
| lowing strange tale.
| Last Thanksgiving" he said, II dined
with my friend, DR.. Blank. and among the
other delcacies of the season there was n
| mince pie, second only in all those qualities
that go to make the mince pie heavens best
gilt to man to this now tempting me,
and | partook very freely of it. There was
/ a generosity characterizing the size of its
slices as, compared with those served at a
| boarding house which would have recon-
/ i
| say 1 partook very freely of 1t; the fact Is
L fairly stuffed myself with 1t. it was so su-
perlatively good. After dinner-that is.
about half-past 3 o clock-the doctor and |
adjourned to his office to smoke, and | may
| say here that as | sat in a big easy chair
| putting away on fine cigar my condition
would not have been improved if had been
! a millionaire. About half-past | left for
| home, with an engagement for the doctor to
| come down to my place about $50 or TO
| go to some amateur theatricals by some
| friends of mine. Arriving at home. | read
| Tor while, and, feeling sleepy, | stretched
| myself on a sofa lounge and composed my
| self to rest with a sense of infinite comfort
| and peace with all the world, to say moth
ing OF my general thankfulness that l was
| in such luck.
How long l slept do not know, but I
was disturbed by a noise of some kind, ana.
looking up-the room was in a half light
from an electric lamp across the street from
my window saw the door slowly opening
had my eyes fixed at point on the door
about where a human head ought to appear.
put none appeared, and my attention was
| Drawn down to something on the floor
| which looked like 1t might be a fur rig
| rolled up with the hairy side out That il
! 10 say, the thing was about three feet wide
and eighteen inches through. 1t rolled into
the room, the door closing after it, and
stopped for an instant as if looking for
something. Then 1 noticed in the center of
| II two big eyes that showed like a cats
| only with a fierce red light changing Mt
|
was a grinning mouth, at least six inches
wide, with teeth long enough to clash to-
gether as the thing seemed to lick its chops
! When 1t saw me 1t began to roll slowly In
my direction, and very strangely the ugly
eyes did not follow the body, but kent their
| position. At first | thought the thing
might have short legs, or might be sliding
along like a snake, but L soon saw that it
rolled over as one might roll a log
When the thing started my way I tried
10 get up ana make defense or run. or do
something other than lie supinely on my
| back, but exert myself as / would | could
| not move peg. 1t occurred to me nexr
| to yell, but an effort to do so resulted as
mad my efforts to get up. I was inarticu-
| late as well as helpless. | saw everything
| in the room as plainly as l see Won now
and noticed particularly the pickering of
| the street light through my window. The
thlns kept coming closer to me, grinnfng
| more hendlshly as 1t came nearer and l
| could not take my eyes from It, 1t an
| preached me from the foot Of the lounge
-anG as the corner of the lounge shut IL
| from my view felt sense of great relief
and was able to make some movement Of
I my body. This movement apparently
frightened it, for it was quite a little time
| before 1t appeared again, and then it be-
gan slowly to rise over the foot of the
| lounge and roll onto my feet Slowly slow
| ly, 1t came on up toward my knees with a
| pressure that was astonishing for so small
body. 1t felt like 1t weighed a ton, and
| when 1t had passed over my feet and was
| well up on my lower legs the weight of it
| kept the blood in front of 1t so that my feet
be came icy cold. After it had passed my
| knees and its weight began to press my
body down, even before 1t reached that por-
ton of me, L became frightened that
| made herculean efforts to throw 1t Off
They were of no avail, however, and the
| thing kept rolling on, something like the
deep and dark blue ocean, you know, that
| Byron tells about. Its eyes cleaned and
| glittered and its sharp teeth clattered as
| 1t came upward, and when It had slowly
| 8 m I IN fap1Q
| dreadful sense Of suffocation and 1t seemed
as If everything inside of me was being
| gradually pushed up through my body into
my head. / knew that 1t was case of life
and death now and II the hideous thing
ever got up as high my lungs and heart
I was gone gosling, and with the strength
of desperation. that terrific will and force.
| you know, which are given to men strug-
Cling for life, l gathered all my power of
mind and body and in one last supreme
struggle 1 pulled myself together and sat
up on the lounge, and the thing disappeared
as utterly as If it had not been. The doc
tor was standing over me 1 rubbed my
eyes and tried to gather my senses
| Good God, DOCTOR L gasped, what was
it%
What was what? he inquired. laughing
! Something awful that was slowly
| squeezing the life out of me-
"'Oh,' he laughed again, that was only
another form of mince pie. When 1 came
in you were lying fiat of your back and
seemed to be enjoying yourself so that
! hated to disturb you.
II told him my story as I have told 1t to
| you
"'Um.' he said 'er-um, there are cases
| when they don't wake up, and II that thing
| had kept on rolling, I fancy I would have
| found you dead when / came In.
| "Whew.r exclaimed the hostess in tone
| OF relief ''you needn't eat any of my mince
| pie 49,
THANK you smiled the man from the
| boarding house.
Toys for English Children.
| Innrnal.