The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-05-17
HOW DO YOU CARRY AN UMBRELLA
A woman's Character Revealed by
This, Thinks One Man.


This, Thinks One Man.
The man who sat nearest the window
said he didn't mind the wet weather.
at gives me a chance to see how peo-
pie carry their umbrellas" he said. 81
have such firm faith in my umbrella de.
auctions that / wouldn't be afraid to
choose wife with them for q guide"
The woman on his left smiled.
I'm glad I'm not out there In the
street." she said. You'd be picking out
all the kinks in my disposition along with
the rest of them"
"Oh," said the man. 81 sized you up a
long time ago. You carry your umbrella,
when it's furled, Just like that woman
across the street. You grab 1t in the mid.
die and go forging ahead with the ends OF
the handle digging into the unfortunate
pedestrians who 60 before and follow
after"
"And what does that signifyT asked
the woman on the left
"AIertness, activity, selfshness and In
considerateness."
''Um-m-m," said the woman.
"But just look at the third woman In
the procession" said the man. 81 pity
the men folks about her house. I'll war
rant they have to get their own breakfast
about six mornings out Of seven. / never
yet saw a woman who dragged her um-
brella along so that you could track her
by the trail of the tip who wasn't dilatory
and shiftless. She never sews on a but
ton or darns or mends, and her breakfast
dishes are seldom washed before o'clock.
THAT other woman who Is hustling
along holding to the top of the umbrella
handle like grim death and pointing the
tip down and forward in kind of south
by southwesterly direction Is altogether
different. She would set the world on
fire if it wasn't waterlogged. l am not
sure that I'd want to be married to her,
either. She'd be too energetic. Shed
push everything before her, and when she
took a notion to clean things up a mere
man would have nowhere to lay his head.
What she is good for Is serving on COM
mittees.
THAT woman in the gray skirt Is a yea
and nay sort of person. She wants to
agree with everybody and follows wher.
ever led. Women who carry their UNI.
brellas with the point backward and
downward are always unassertive.
"But just look at that girl who spins
along swinging her umbrella around in q
circle as if II were a magic wand. like
her. She's jolly and good natured and
gets more pleasure out Of life than ten
ordinary people. There's woman carry.
ing her umbrella swung across her Shout.
der like shotgun. She's true soldier
of fortune and was never known to say
die. l can't think Of anything that would
feaze her."
The man paused.
"And what would you say" asked the
woman. "about that girl who carries her
umbrella horizontally across the small OF
her back and catches either end into the
crook of her elbow"
"Well," admitted the man, "she Is q
new one on me. never met her before
but l wouldn't be afraid to wager that
she is conscientious to a degree and has
a heart as big as all outdoors. But here
he added, "comes the most even tempered
woman of the lot. She cuddles her um.
brella protectingly under her arm as II
she doesn't want even it to get hurt in the
crowd. That woman is gentle and
thoughtful and nd."-New York Sun.