davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
Truly Indispensable.

at seems to me that you take a
great deal Of impertinence from that
bartender
WELL" answered Bronco Bob, "he's
kind of got us where we can't kick.
You see he is not: only bartender, but
he runs the only undertaken shop in
town, and we've simply got to put up
with him. -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
RUBBING 1T IN.

Hiram" said his wife, ct wish
you would go out to the shed and get
a bucket Of Goals"
"Coals! muttered Hiram to him
self, as he went grumbling to comply
with the demand. Goals! That's her
way of reminding me that she could
land every year before she married
mel"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
HAND TO MOUTH EXISTENCE.

Il hear you are. making lots OF
money"
"My dear fellow, I lead a regular
hand-to-mouth existence"
"You don't say! What are you do
ing?"
''Practicing dentistry"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
THE TIME TO LAUGH.
SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL AND
ssELEGTED. B.

jIt Was Close Call, but the Postal
Clerk Anticipated the Danger In Time
Facts Alter Gases Reason for the
Deed. B5$s f
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
A Far-Seeing Youth.

The father wanted the young man to
20 into business and the boy wanted
to be a lawyer. ~ j
/. Which would you rather be-" ar
gued the father, "a lawyer or million
airp pr .t-> +. + l q l. $50 .t@~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

'I'll be both if you give me half a
chance replied the son, and the IA
Their hurried him away to a law school.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

they multiply rapidly. This Is. a
present, the only weak point OF the
system, for it Is found that in prac-
tice the patient loses during the night
almost all the benefit that he has de-
rived from the Inhalation Of oxygen
during the day But this objection is
to be swept away when a new labora-
tory has been built where consump-
tives will be made to breathe the gas
day and night until a cure has been
effected.
I'll TT re Ee17r, Epp Ayr,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
I'm China.

Some OF these misgio nariess cut
here" said the heather, are regular
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
Reasoning by Analogy.

Mr.. Bronston-Mr. and Mrs. Upton
both had on new suits in church to-
day. Mrs. Upton's dress was tailor
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
HARDLY WORTH MENTIONING.

HARDLY WORTH MENTIONING.
A clergyman says that he was one
day called down into his. study to per-
form the marriage ceremony for a
couple in middle life.
Have you ever been married be-
fore !" asked the clergyman Of the
bridegroom.
No cir. z
" Have you to the bride.
Vell yes, have replied the
bride. laconically; but that was 20
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
An Easy Mark.

Bill--TVe been to see palm reader.
Jill And did you believe what he
told you?
Yes, Il did. He told me I was too
easy, and charged me two dollars.''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
She Was Sure.

George see nothing but for us to
elope. Do you think your father
would forgive us?
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
''I'll not whip the mule"

had telephoned the Office force in the
valley below and an excited group
was coming up. Shotgun barrels
flashed in the sunlight. Danny laugh
ed good naturally.
Well all be shot, boys, long. o. that
Crazy Bill. Stand together. Here
comes that whole coal company,
Hostiiisies were for aSsnsps 5gt Ss,,s
pended In the pleasure of Watching the
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
he'll am sure he would.

George How can you be sure?
4 Ethel felt little nervous on that
score, and-and asked him.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

Yes; birds Of pray, Remarked the
other significantly. .|s
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
Microbes ON Raw Vegetables.

signor Ceserole of Padua has dis
covered the existence of more than
fifty noxious microscopic parasites and
microbes ID the Washings of Yege-
tables from market gardens. Among
the micro-orga found by him
was the bacillus Of tetanus and, an.
other analogous to that which pro-
duces typhoid fever. He ascribes the
Infection largely to the contents 81
watering pots.
The approved cooking utensils are
OF aluminium. There's no danger IN
them.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09

Mrs. Bronston-Huh! How do you
knew it was tailor made?
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures Mr.. Upton's
clothes were ready made.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-11-09
1T is Al BUG ERRANT.

Nature has once more proved that
she knows how to manage affairs IN
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
HAVING NO TIME.
The Woman Who Is Always Too Busy
to Take Care of Her own
Health,

The woman who has ''nO time for re-
taxation and systematic exercise" is
precisely the woman who most needs
to take it. Rest, exercise, diet, amuse-
ment and work are of equal impor-
tance in the vast scheme of living, if
one would live sanely, that is, health
fully The old saying: 'All work and
no play makes Jack dull boy" is per-
fectly true, and that all play and no
work have the same effect is equally
correct, observes an eastern philos-
opher, says the Detroit Free Press.
81 get all the exercise | need in 60
ing about my household" many wom-
en- assert, but that is the greatest mis-
take possible. Under ordinary cir
cumstances, a few sets of muscles are
called into activity, and the mind, at
the same time, is fully occupied. For
physical exercise to be helpful, the
mind must be at rest. A walk of 90
minutes duration in the open air is an
absolute daily necessity, and should
be at a reasonably brisk pace. Deep
breathing should be practiced on
these walks, until it becomes fixed
habit. A good plan is to inhale slowly
while taking seven steps, then exhale
during seven. The mental applica-
tion soon ceases to be necessary, and
the walker almost uncOnsciously
breathes in this way. Deep breath
ing is helpful in cases of insomnia
also.
The average woman takes too little
care of her health until she loses it,
and then she takes too much care of
it, with tonics and nostrums. She
drinks two or three cupfuls of strong
coffee for breakfast, eats meat three
times q day, takes cakes and ices ad
or earlier has established q chronic
dyspepsia that is guaranteed to last
until her death. There are many more
illnesses from overeating than from
overwork, and far greater danger to
beauty.
Another hindrance to health, and
consequently beauty is the wearing Of
unnecessary clothing. The body
breathes through the skin, and when
layer after layer of cotton and wool
envelops it, SO that no breathing is
possible, the whole physical organism
suffers. Every night before retiring.
the entire surface of the body should
be rubbed with the hand, inclosed in
a glove of Turkish toweling. This
opens the pores and stimulates the
skin to proper performance of it's
breathing and excretory functions.
The woman who does this, then sleeps
in properly ventilated room, takes a
warm sponge bath and a cold splash
every morning, and eats sensible food
does not need to worry about her
complexion, unless something is radi-
cally wrong, demanding physicians
care,
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16

amendments, in order that they might
get at the pie appropriations
The Iowa statesman has always con-
sistently opposed the river and har-
Dor appropriation bills; and rightly,
too, for they always contain point
blank steals from the treasury. Mon
eys are annually appropriated in that
bill for the Improvement of streams
which are, and always will be, useless
Tor naElgable purposes; but the con-
gressmen seek and secure appropria-
tlons in the river and harbor bills in
order that public moneys may be ex-
pended in their districts for their own
political interests. The men who rep
resent constituencies and states con-
tanning navigable streams, or con-
tiguous to ocean and lake coasts, prop
erly present their honest interests for
The national welfare. But in order to
get what public spirited and national
oride should cheerfully give they are
aiged to allow FALL sorts CT un-
orthy appropriations to be made.
else they might be defeated in their
laudable purposes by the votes OF
those who have only selfish political
interests to advance.
In the house of representatives Mr..
De Almond, Of Missouri, caustically
and bitterly referred to these facts.
saying: "Thcre has never been a
day fuller of fate for freedom and
liberty than this; and here, with the
Representatives of the people shackled
with trade ana bargains and con-
nivance, with cringing and crooking
OF the knee that thrift may follow
fawning, the rights of the people are
being frittered away, their constitu-
ton is being disregarded; and, shame
upon shame, this is to be done here
in what is supposed to be the house
of representatives of The American
people. which is really the house OF
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Always UD-to-Dnte.

The Passenger Department of the Union
Pacific Ry. has recently issued twenty.
eight page booklet of ''The Overland Limit
ed" 1t is magnificent specimen of print
ing, artistic in the highest degree, and is
embellished with views of the train men
toned both interior and exterior, together
with much information regarding the serv-
ice, and also interesting points on the
putting his affairs in order with the least
possible delay and taking trip to the Gold
en- Gate. The Union Pacific was the pio-
neer line Westward, and it is not too much
to say that it has maintained the prestige
which that fact gave it. A trip to California
over the Union Pacific in connection with
the Chicago & Northwestern and Southern
Pacific Systems is a delight at all times.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Cheap Rates to California.

February 18th and each Tuesday there
after, until and including April 30th, Special
Low Rate Colonist Tickets will be sold via
the Southern Pacifc's Companys Ogden"
and Sunset" Routes to all points in Califor-
MIA. The rate will be: From Chicago
$1,000, from St. Louis, Memphis and New
Orleans $3.50, from Omaha, Kansas City,
etc, $500. Corresponding low rates from
For particulars and detailed information
pertaining to the Southern Pacific Com
pany'.s Routes, and these special rates to CAL
ifornia, call upon or address
w; G. Neimyer, G. W. A, S. P. Co., 238
Clark ST., Chicago, III.
W. H. Connor, c. A., S. P. Co., Chamber
Of Commerce Bldg, Cincinnati, Ohio.
G. G. Herring, c. A, S. p. Co., III Park
Bldgi P,ittsburg, Pa.
:, L. 2. Townsley, c. A, S. P. Co., 42l Olive
St., st. Louis, Mo.
9. G. Cary, 6. A, S. P. Co., 2os sheidley
Bldg, Kansas City, Mo.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
SOME SMALL HELPS.
Odd Items OF Domestic Lore That
May Come in Handy to the
Housekeeper.

A simple and delightful way of pre-
pairing oysters and celery for lunch
con or supper is in this wise: Cut
cup of white celery in small pieces,
and adding it to three tablespoonfuls
Of butter in saucepan, allow it to
simmer for quarter of an hour. Add
a half cupful of oyster liquor, half
cup of cracker crumbs, salt and pap
rika to taste, half a cupful of cream
and pint of oysters. Add the oy-
sters after the liquid has boiled and
remove from the fire as soon as the
edges curl. Serve on toast or in cres-
cents of puff paste, says the Washing
ton Star
In buying sponges, give the street
venders with their chemically bleached
wares a wide berth. Much of their
stock in trade has been rescued from
hospitals, dispensaries and the junk
men, and then prepared for market.
A cheap sponge is an abomination, and
a menace to health. Buy direct from
reputable dealers. To clean sponge
immerse it over night in sweet milk
then rinse it thoroughly in cold
water.
While the same old question, GLOW
much does the baby weigh" still con-
tinues of abiding interest, the kitch-
en- steelyards and grandpa's bandana
handkerchief or cooks scales are no
longer considered de rigeur for de-
termining that momentous query.
The up-to-date baby has a weighing
basket of his own, from whose downy
depths he gives ocular demonstration
of his sweet young avoirdupois. Made
of wicker, prettily gilded, shaped like
a small canoe, lined with satin, quilt
ed and perfumed and trimmed with
lace and ribbon. Baby Croesus, in a
condition as near nature as possible,
looks forth from it's shelter upon an
audience of admi1ing slaves.
And yet-all hail, baby of the steel
yards!
A new method of treatment for diph-
liberia which is said to be remarkab bly,
successful is the swabbing out of the
throat with common petroleum. Sc
we're cases, given up by physicians,
ILc'C bCCh AhONIi w y1CAu w Uulo
pie remedy.
In recent volume on the cause and
prevention of decay in teeth the writer
attributes the increasing prevalence
ofdental carries among civilized nations
to the modern methods of manufac-
ture of food stuffs, whereby the coarse
and more fibrous parts are eliminated.
This, he claims, acts in two ways.
Firstly, owing to the absence of me-
chanically detergent constituents of
food, more of the fermentable, acid
producing and demonstrating parts
Of the latter remain in contact with
the teeth for some time after meals,
and, secondly, that the tongue being
less actively employed during the act
of chewing and swallowing, fails to
attain it's full size and exercise it's
normal important function in model
ing the dental arches.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
representatives of the bosses and trad

representatives of the bosses and trad
ers and traffickers who have no respect
for the constitution, those who have no
respect for their constituencies, those
who have no respect for their own
manhood, those who surrender away
their every right, those who grovel
in the dust and seem to rejoice that
they may SO crawl, instead of stand
ing erect, as God probably intended
they should do"
That sounds like a part of po-
Htical speech, but it was not. 1t
was aimed at men of both political
parties who were giving up their in
dividual opinions in order that they
might get at the ''pie" bills, SC that
political thrift should follow for their
own selfish purposes.
There should be some remedy for
this condition of affairs in the con-
gress, and the remedy hes with the
people. Every man in the republic
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
INDIAN MISSIONARIES STORY.
Years of TOiIs0me Ministry Among
the Choctavvs,

Little York, Ind, April (SpeciaD
twenty-five years ago, the Rev. c..
II. Thompson left Indiana. For a
time he preached in Arkansas, after
wards entering on the regular mis-
sionary work among the Choctaw In
dians.
For five years, he lived and labored
among the full bloods of the western
prairies, until on April 5th, 1885, hav-
ing lost his wife, he left the circuit
on which he had preached SO long,
and commenced travelling missionary
work among the Indians of the vari-
Gus Tribes scattered in the West.
This irregular work involved q
great deal of travel over the prairies.
The drinking of so much alkali wa
ter, brought on Kidney Troubles
which terminated in Diabetes.
Finally, while laboring among the
Creek Indians at Wagner, Indian
Territory, this noble man was strick-
en- down completely. A Chicago Spe-
cialist was summoned, and after a
careful examination, declared that
there was not the slightest chance
OF his recovery. Besides the pre-
scriptions of the doctors, he tried
many other medicines, but all to no
avail. He says:
st had concluded that my days
were drawing to a close, when I
picked up an Almanac telling of the
cures Of Diabetes by the use Of
Dodd's Kidney Pills. I sent for two
boxes. gained strength and spirits
from the time I commenced to use
them, and so / sent for more. [ am
now completely cured, and have not
the slightest symptom of my old
trouble.
81 am 68 years of age. I tell every
body of the wonders Dodd's Kidney
Pills have done for me. I can certain
ly endorse them heartily, and vouch
that they are all that is claimed for
them. They have certainly been n
God-send to me-"
Dodd's Kidney Pills are the only
Remedy that has ever cured Bright's
Disease, Diabetes or Dropsy and they
never fail.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
AMONG THE RAILWAYS.
Rock Island VIII Run Cheap Excu
sinns to Colorado.


The Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific
railway, which made a phenomenal success
of cheap excursion rates to Colorado last
season, has again asked its competitors in
the Western and Southwestern Passenger
associations to agree upon a series of cheap
excursions to and from Denver, Colorado
Springs and Pueblo for the approaching sea-
son on the following basis: Tickets to be
sold from Chicago and all territory up to
Missouri river June is, 25, July 16, %, and
80, Aug. 6, Is, 20 and 27, at the rate of one
fare plus 81, or $31 so for the round trip.
On July 2 and 8 and Sept. and 10 rate
of S25 is to be made from Chicago, and SIS
from Missouri river points for the round
trip. intermediate territory will have pro-
portionate rates Tickets are to be sold
from Missouri river points one day later
than the dates given above in each case.
Proportionate rates will be made to and
from Glenwood Springs, Salt Lake City and
Ogden.
a series of East bound excursions is also
proposed tickets to be sold from Colorado
common points every Thursday, commenc-
ing with June 20 up to and including Sept.
II, at a rate of one fare plus 81 for the
round trip All tickets will be limited for
return passage to October 81. These rates
will be rendered connecting lines for bas-
ing purposes, which will probably insure a
very low basis of rates throughout the Unit
ed States for these excursions.
The Chicago Rock Island and Pacific will
unquestionably make these rates and ar
rangements effective, regardless of the ac-
ton of its competitors, and will run special
trains, only one night out to and from Col
orado, on the dates named.-Chicago Inter
Ocean
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Fowl and Rice Crooue.tes

The remains of a cold fowl, a little
white sauce, one quart of chicken
stock, three ounces of butter, egg wash
and bread crumbs. Chop the fowl quite
small and mix with the bechamel,
which should be quite thick. Boil the
rice in the stock gently for half an
hour, then add the butter and boil un-
til soft and dry. When the rice has
cooled to allow handling form into
balls, making a hollow in each of
them, which must be filed with the
minced fowl and covered with rice.
Then egg aud crumb.-Boston Budget.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
What VIII Become of China,

None can foresee the outcome of the quar-
rel between foreign powers over the divi-
sion of China. 1t is interesting to watch
the going to pieces of this ancient but un-
are also going @ to peces @ because bRs % Of q dyspep
sia, constipation, blood, liver and stomach
diseases. We are living too fast, but
strength, vigor and good health can be re-
tained if we keep off and cure the above dis
eases with Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO, j..
I T-CAc CfnTrN-rrv 81

41ON4AD NOO-NIIf
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he is the
senior partner of the firm of T. j. Cheney
s. Co., doing business in the city of Toledo,
County and State aforesaid, and that said
firm will pay the sum of One Hundred Dol
lars for each and every case of catarrh that
Cure. FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9th day of December, A. D.
1886. A w. GLEASON,
lSeal] Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system Send for testimonials,
free. +. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Try Grain-oI Try Grain-o!

Ask your grocer to-day to show you pack
age of GRAIN-O, the new food drink that
takes the place Of coffee. The children may
drink it without injury as well as the adult.
All who try it, like it. GRAIN-O has that
rich seal brown of Mocha or Java, but it is
made from pure grains, and the most delicate
stomach receives it without distress. ! the
price of coffee. l5c. and 25cts. per package.
Sold by all grocers.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
There Is n Glass of People

Who are injured by the use of coffee. Re
Gently there has been placed in all the gro
cery stores new preparation called
GRAIN-O, made of pure grains, that takes
the place of coffee The most delicate stom-
ach receives it without distress, and but few
can tell it from coffee. It does not cost over
/ as much. Children may drink it with
great benefit. Is cts and 25 cts. per pack
age. Try it. Ask for GRAIN-O.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
The Man and the siicrobe.

yelled greatly in that he had not met the
Microbe long since.
In what guise have you Travelled, pray?"
asked the Man.
why, for the most part in the guys who
didn't boil the drinking water!" replied the
Microbe, candidly.
OF course, hygienic science was destined
to change all this.-Detroit Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
A Moral Lecture,

Miss Upperten-They say there is a
great deal of misery among the poor.
Miss Gotrox-Well, it's their fault.
There is Reggy van Pelt, for instance,
with only $4,000 a year, trying to
keep a yacht and stable Of horses 50.
no wonder he's miserable.-Puck.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16

tIOuUIC SOILCWIItTC, oHU ItI FUuS pFUS@
tration is sure to follow.
You ought to know that indigestion,
e XII a u S tt o n, womb displacements,
fainting, dizziness, headache, and
backache send the nerves wild with
alright, and you cannot sleep.
Mrs. Hartley, of 221 w. Congress ST.,
Chicago, ILL.,, whose portrait we pub
lish, suffered all these agonies, and
was entirely cured by Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound; her case
should be warning to others, and
her cure carry conviction to the minds
of every suffering woman of the un-
failing efficiency Of Lydia E. Plnlzham's
Vegetable Compound.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Wasted There.

He-They say the temperature in Florida
has been about IS all this month.
She-Isn't that aggravating? To think
that they should have temperature like that
there where it's SO warm anyway that they
don't really need it.-Philadelphia Press.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
You Gam Get ALIENS Foot-Ense FRI1E

Write to-day to Allen s. Olmsted, LEROY.
n. Y, for FREE sample of Aliens Foot,
Ease, a powder to shake into your shoes. 1t
ecbnr ecfS feet f maes New dan o swollen
easy. A certain cure for Corns and Bun
ions. All druggists and shoe stores sell it. 25c.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
So Rad as That

"When l wade through society
novel nowadays" said Mrs. Seveer,
II always wonder if the higher walks
of life really are SO bad that one can
not traverse them without wearing
ones rainy-day skirt!"-Chicago Trib-
uDe
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
with Most People.

A Kansas City man has issued pamphlet
on the mission of Wealth" With all re-
spect to the author, the most trouble with
most people is the omission Of wealth. Kan
sas City MO- Journal
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Knew His business.

Hostess-Dear me, the conversation is
tagging. What can we do to amuse cur
guests?
Host-I don't Know, unless we leave the
drawing room for few minutes and give
them chance to talk about us.-N. Y.
World
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16

Consolation, indiscreetk pressed upon
us when we are suffering under af1iction,
only serves to increase our pain and render
our grief more poignant
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16

''He called his vaudeville sketch The
Vaccination Mark "Yes." ''It didn't
take. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16
Can't ALWAYS Tell

''Do you serve Holsters here" asked the
new arrival.
"Well," replied the waiter, eve as our
instructions to discriminate as much as pos
sible among them as comes in to eat.'-
Philadelphia North American.
The Winslow mail., 1901-05-16

Lots of men fool away so much time
trying to get hold Of some relatives estate
that they neglect what little business they
have OF their own.-Washingto Qa.) Dem
ocrat