The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-06-09
DAVID GIBSON RECALLS a RATHER
GRUESOME JOKE.
How an Old Irishman Was Aroused
from n Sick Bed-A Wild
Ow's Sorrow.

One would scarcely expect 70 find humor
in connection with the subject OF death or
a cemetery, but Architect David Gibson
has several stories on these subjects that
never fail to evoke hearty laughter when
he tells them in his inimitable style One
evening recently Mr.. Gibson was the center
Of an interested group in the lobby of the
Denison, and during a lul in the CONVEX
sation one of the men exclaimed: "Tell
that story of yours about the mock
graves Dave"
lone time 1 went to little town in an
Eastern State for the purpose of having a
body exhumed TO be transferred to another
place." began Mr. Gibson, land when 1
reached the place l found ii was nothing
but a little rural village. The cemetery
was i'm a badly neglected condition, and
scarcely any Of the graves were marked.
I hired couple of grave diggers by the
day and hunted up an old resident, think
ing maybe he could help me locate the
grave l wanted TO find. When we reached
the cemetery we soon learned that some
other plan of finding the grave would have
to be adopted. for the old villager could not
point out the particular spot. So L got an
iron rod pointed at one end. and with that
we went around among the graves, poking
down into the soil 1 knew that the body
that / wanted was buried in an iron cof-
fin so | figured that we could tell pretty
easily when we struck it.
Finally the rod struck an iron coffin in
a certain part of the cemetery, and / or
dered the men 10 begin digging. When
they reached the bottom of the grave they
uncovered two diminutive iron collins in
which children were buried. and part of
another little coffin was exposed OF
course. l had 10 put the grave back into
its original condition as nearly as possible
but what seemed to be happy thought
struck me. Il think it would be a good
idea, 1 said, since this grave was not
marked. 10 dig three new graves and put
some kind of marks over them Wall.
now, stranger. spoke up one of the dig
gers, looking at me with one eye cooked
in that knowing fashion peculiar to so
many Eastern villagers. L can tell you a
better plan, and it will be cheaper for you,
too. Why not put the three collins on top
of each other in grave, and then, on
one side of it, throw UP couple of mock
graves? The idea struck me as so ludi-
crous that l lay down on the grass and
rolled and laughed until / was sore"
"A good many years ago." continued Mr..
Gibson, there was a substantial brick
house on North Illinois street that has
long ago been torn away to make room for
a fat building or something of that kind.
well-todo old Irishman lived in the
house and he occasionally had pretty Sc
we're sick spells. One time he grew so Ill
that they sent for the priest to administer
the sacrament. While they were awaiting
the coming of the reverend father they be-
gan to erect an altar with candles about if
and in manipulating the candles one of
them fell over and got against a lace cur
tain, setting fire to it and soon to the
house. An alarm was turned in and in a
few minutes all was confusion worse con-
founded in the vicinity of the house. Fire
wagons and engines dashed up with clang-
ing gongs people rushed hither and thither
as if crazy and in the midst of the uproar
a big coIored man dashed into the house
upstairs and. grabbing what seemed to him
a bunch of bedclothes. threw it out of the
window on to the lawn below After the
fire put out and things were straight
ened to a degree it was found that the old
gentleman had mysteriously disappeared
A search was instantly begun for him and
finally he was located in the mass of bed
clothes on the grass in the yard"
Did he die?" asked one of the listeners.
eagerly.
Not a bit of it," replied Mr. Gibson; II
saw him walking along the street only the
other day. heard an old lady remark the
next day after the fire. Sure it wor a Gods
blessing for it reused Patrick"
Xxx
Say, know good one on an undertaken
here" said Mr. Gibson. ''but / wouldn't
dare give his name. for he might punch my
head if | did. Well. when he was a great
deal younger than he is now, he met a
girl and got to keeping company with her
In short time they fell in love with each
other, or thought they did. However after
they had loved while they began. as
occasionally young people do. TO gradually
drift apart. without either of them knowing
just exactly how ii cams about The young
man married his present wife and every
thing went along smoothly until one dav
he summoned 10 officiate as undertaken
for the deceased husband OF his boyhood's
inamorata When he entered the room in
which the dead man lay he found the
widow kneeling at the bedside weeping
softly into a cambria handkerchief bor-
dered with lace. Addressing her in appro-
priately subdued tones. he offered his SYM
PATTY in her hour OF deep bereavement
saying something about this being the
hardest trial that comes TO human beings
Yes. Charley said the woman, ceasing her
libations of liquid sorrow for a moment
and just think. 1t might have been YOU, -
Different Now.
Chicagn Trihnna