The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-20
THE WOES OF THE IMMERSED.
Elaborate Preparations TO "Brenk
i'm" Society.
From the Chicago Chronicle.

From the Chicago Chronicle.
IF you fellows knew how to act any,
where outside of a saloon" said Davis
one evening when the Artful Dodgers
were assembled in his room, II would
take you out into society little bit
and let you see what human beings
are like"
That's good. too" said Mccarthy,
II suppose now you're going to rent
that dress suit again and go out and
give the ladies a treat. Are you going
to lead the german or have you still
got that Swede girl?"
There is no dress suit business
about the function which l am to orna-
ment," said Davis loftily, this is to
be a lawn fete."
That let's you in, all right" replied
Mccarthy, you can wear those paint
er's overalls someone sawed off on you
for duck trousers last summer and
Hill will lend you his straw hat, won't
you, Harry? Where you would shine on
a lawn is at the motor end of a lawn
mower. 1 can't imagine you doing any
other kind of a stunt on the green
sward."
What is all this, Tom?" asked
Rathbun. Let him tell it, Nc. Maybe
he can get us all jobs as walters at
this blowout"
well, there isn't much to IT for us
society men, said Davis, "only that
happen to cut in pretty deep at a GER
tain place on the North Side"
That's the Whitman Moral Improve
ment Association he's talking about
now" said Mccarthy, corner of Michi-
gan street and Dearborn avenue"
mo. l have no claims on your alma
mater" retorted Davis. Its a mile or
two further north that 1 am regarded
as the genuine article from a society
standpoint. l came to town with a
few letters of introduction and they
got me in right. You fellows don't
understand that sort of thing, of
course, but don't worry. l can fix it
up for you The lady at whose house
/ have cut so many wide swaths in a
social way intends dragging off a lawn
party this week and so many of our
first people are still at the resorts that
she is a little bit to the bad for young
men to hand round ice cream and whis-
per sweet nothings into the SHE'LL like
ears of the young ladies'"
"Ah, that explains it," interrupted
Hill, she wants you to whisper moth
ings to the ladies. She knows your
stronghold"
THE hostess was good enough" con-
tinued Davis, ito extend an invitation
apartments adjoining mine, realizing
that their opportunities for dipping in
are limited not only by the finances,
but also by their social standing"
Rathbun from his place on the bed
hurled a pillow at Davis which took
the tobacco jar off the table.
THE lady makes the common error"
said Mccarthy, "of basing her judg-
ment of your acquaintance upon her
4 a s..v.sNr
When does this gabfest occur and how
much money should each society pet
bring in order to avoid possible dis
grace"
THE function" said Davis, ''is down
on the books for Thursday evening at
half after eight"
rs that the way we have to talk If
we go there?" asked Hill.
You couldn't talk that way IL you
tried" retorted Davis. Il guess you
would better confine yourself to max
ing signs"
1--WE might tell the ladies that he is
deaf" suggested Rathbun.
mo, someone might say something
about having a drink and then he'd
turn around quick and give the snap
away" said Mccarthy. II suppose we
will have to let Harry cut right in with
his rude language and take chance.
ing TO the shelter of their mammas we
will know that he has forgotten him
self again and has talked the way he
does at home"
This is all very WE'LL" said Rath-
bun. but Davis hasn't told us the
worst yet. How much will all this
cost? It's too late in the season for
me to buy a new flannel suit and my
white duck panties betray to the most
casual observer that L sat upon the
paint when ii was red. Is this thing
to be formal or catch as-catch-can
IF IL was formal you don't suppose
Davis would be invited. do you?" asked
Hill. 1.-THE only formal thing he ever
attended was the session of the police
court the morning after he tried to re-
form the levee.' This generous hostess
knows he is coming there in tan shoes.
! a sack coat and glass diamond IN