davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
IRISH COURTROOM WIT.

Some Choice Examples Garnered for
the Readers Entertainment.
The quaint repartee and whimsical
humor of an Irish witness give flip
of excitement to the dullest court
room, says Irish Fun.
Quite recently a woman asked for a
warrant against man for using abu-
sive language in the street.
What did he say?" asked the mag
istrate.
He went forninst the whole world
at the corner of Chapel street and
called me-yes, he did, her worship
an ould communicated gasometer."
He called me out of me name,'
said witness in p case of assault.
The judge, trying to preserve the
relevancy of the witness testimony
said:
That's a civil action, my good
woman"
The witness eyes flashed fire as she
looked up at the judge and retorted:
"Musha, then, if We call that civi
action tbs bad blaguard We must be
yerself!"
A witness was once asked the
amount of his gross income.
ME gross income, is it?" he an
swered. Sure, an We know I've nc
gross income. I'm fisherman, an
me income is all net"
No man." said wealthy but rather
weak-headed barrister, should be ad
mitted to the bar who has not an in
dependent landed property"
May l ask, sir" said a witty and
eminent Irish lawyer, how many
acres make wiseacre?"
The element of the unexpected
which characterizes Irish fun crop.
out in other places besides the court
room. 1t may be an old story, but i
is as perennial as its subject of the
priest who preached a sermon OF
Grace" AN, me brethren" he sale
in conclusion. ''if We have wan sparl
av heavenly grace wather it, wathel
it continually"
Another priest who had delivered
what seemed to him an excellent ant
striking sermon was anxious to ascer
tain its effect on his flock WAS the
sermon today to yer liking, PATTI" hs
| inquired of one of them.
"Troth, yer reverence. it was 8
grand sermon entirely" said Pat
with such genuine admiration that hi
reverence felt moved to investigat,
| further.
WAS there any one part of it NOR,
than another that seemed to take hol
of YEP he inquired.
We'll, now. as We are for akin me
begorra, I'll tell We. What TUX hould
av me most was yer riverence's parse
verence-the way We whit over tn
same thing agin and agin and agin."
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
Things Women Should Know.

Fortunately she can be just as
dainty, pretty and altogether feminine
while knowing the principles of de
signing, building, plumbing, ventilat
ing, heating, lighting and protecting
from dampness the home, the making
of fires, the disposing of garbage, dis
injecting of rooms, and general by
gienic and sanitary requirements, as
she could be were her whole mission
in life to look pretty. That a few
wide-awake, practical women have
taken stand against dark houses is
evidenced by the better provisions for
good lighting that may be noted in a
large number of the newly built city
houses and flats. When such protests
become far-reachlng enough to make
the renting of dark houses difficult,
then they will disappear completely
and forever.-Ella Morris Kretschmar
in Woman's Home Companion.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
Girls in Business Life.

Because a girl takes position OF
service in store is no reason why
she should proclaim personal declar-
alton of independence to every custo.
mer by her department toward her;
she simply cannot afford to do it,
aud the sooner she realizes it, the bet
ter it will be for herself. Let me
whisper a secret to you girls who ex-
pect to take some similar position by
and by. 1t is this: you will find that
courtesy. self-respect and an interest
in the business in which you are en-
gagged are the conditions of ultimate
success, and no girl need fear failure
if she has added to these a natural
ability to do the work she has I'M
dertaken. Tranquility OF spirit should
be cultivated; and If in addition to
this the mind be habitually occupied
with elevating thoughts to the exclu-
sion Of the petty, the ignoble and the
sordid. the girl will not only succeed,
but she will win friends whose friend
ship is worth having and retaining,
who will regard her with respect and
admiration, and make her in their
own minds the pattern upon which
other women in her line OF business
may model themselves. Remember
that love is a magnet that attracts the
best In everybody, because 1t con-
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

Sometimes, when bedtime comes,
tease:
Please, daddy, let me stay up late
! amt single snip o. tired;
Jack Smith don't go to bed at eight.
An daddy looks at nanny. men,
An eff she wiggles with her head,
He says. IAN right, another hour
Before you halter go to bed"
An men feel jes like a man
Il tell you what it's hard to wait
Ter grow-a Teller feels so small
When he has to go to bed at eight
So me n tn pup play drivin' horse
Until tn pup gets tired o. that,
An he don't wanter play no more
An goes to sleep in daddy's hat.
An men ask dad why II is
That don't have hair on my face
Like him. An who he thinks d win
Ell me an Jack Smith run a race.
An men dad says, IL was mistook
In lettin' you stay up, fear
An men it's only half-past eight
An nen--an' nen-th' mornin'i
here,
IT r. AndreWa
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

Portage. The improvements will cost
some $4,000. A bill was passed to
prohibit the forging or counterfeiting
of railroad tickets and passes. while
among the measures killed were
these: Orton's permitting officers or
guards of the state prison or the state
reformatory to kill if necessary to pre-
vent escapes or the commission of
crimes by inmates of those inst..u-
tions, and Henry's to prohibit the
manufacture and sale of beer and in
toxicating liquors within certain areas
about the capitol and school buildings.
Madison. March 1.-The senate
passed the following bills; Giving the
Dane county municipal court the right
to try murder cases; permitting
mutual insurance companies to insure
against both fire and lighting within
a radius of 100 miles of the city where
the company it located, the amount in
no case to exceed $4,000; and en-
abling cities of the fourth class to
own waterworks and lighting works.
1t requires ratification by two-thirds
of the voters, the amount spent in
any one year not to exceed per cent.
of the taxable property. The COM
mittee on education reported favorab-
ly the bill appropriating $4,000 for a
cottage for women students at the
state university The bill authorizing
the Dane county supervisors to ap-
propriate money. to aid the county
Fair association was recommended
for passage.
In the assembly there was a debate
on Mr.. Lenroot's bill which compels
q popular vote on all franchises
granted by common councils, If 10 per
cent. of voters request it, within sixty
days after action by common council,
but it was ordered to third reading
after long debate. Among bills
passed We're: Requiring hotels with
out fireescapes to have ropes in
rooms, and prohibiting shooting OF
any gun in railway cars. Judge
Orton's request saved from killing
the bicycle path bills. They went to
the judiciary committee.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
Quaint Epitaphs in Dorchester.

A Baltimore man has been collecting
queer epitaphs from the old grave
yards of the state recently made some
unique additions from a cemetery on
the banks Of the Little Choptank in
Dorchester The cemetery Is con.
nected with church known as the
Old Trinity, and both the church and
many OF the graves are well over 100
years old.
One of the epitaphs taken from an
ancient tomb is:
Little Willie was darling;
Little thought we he would pass
through the holy gates OF heaven
When he ate that apple sass.
Another one. found in a cemetery
nearby, is even more peculiar:
Here lies a man who minded not
Business not his own
And left the money In the bank
With which to build this stone.
This last is even more peculiar in
view OF the fact that the man on
whose tomb the inscription appears is
alleged to have written II himself
few days before his death.-BaItimors
Sun.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
How to ventiIate a Room.

But in spite of this constant chang
ing, by natural renewal from outside,
1t is good idea to give quick and
complete change once a day to the air
OF lving-rooms, smoking-rooms, bed
rooms and dining-rooms. This is best
effected by opening windows that will
make direct draft--keeping in mind
that few minutes only are required
to accomplish the purpose. Make
this change of air when a room is to
be vacant for say fifteen minutes,
which will give time for somewhat
heating the cold air taken in. For the
sick-room a fireplace is the safest ven
tilator. lacking which, adroit manage
ment or devices (too elaborate to be
here detailed) will secure a proper
atmosphere. In large house with
few occupants this clean sweeping out
or stale air need be resorted to but
rarely, as sweeping-days, the natural
renewal from the cracks and creyices,
with the opening of doors from goings
and comings, are sufllcient.-Iclla Nor
ris Kretschmar in Woman's Home
Companion.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
BROOKLYN BRIDGE SAVAGE.
A Spectacle of Boorishness that is the
Worst in America.


did any of you ever happen to be
at the New York end of the Brooklyn
bridge between five-thirty and six
thirty in the evening? There can be
seen bad manners at the worst The
men, most of them youths, who are to
do the great work of the next two
decades, push and elbow as players do
in football game. They even climb
into the cars on the wrong side before
the arriving passengers have dis
embarked. A woman has no possible
chance to get seat, and she runs a
great risk of having her skirts torn
from her to get in at all. This dis
gracetn. exhibition takes place every
day all the year round, and to a great
extent the same people act the same
part every day. Now, when these
youths get home and are ready for the
social exercises of the evening, can
we expect them, with their changed
coats and freshened linen to have
changed their natures, to have be-
come Chesterfields by some magic
transformation? | think rot In
grazing countries it is well known
that dog that once kills sheep
will ALWAYS be a sheep-killer. In
Scotland the sheep-killing dog is him.
self executed. 1t may not be quite so
bad as this with the Brooklyn bridge
seat-stealer, for he may reform and
grow gentler' but there is really very
little hope for him. No public execu
toner will take his life, but he him.
self commits in his practice kind OF
voluntary hari kari, for he kills that
which is best in man, the flower and
the fruit of his gentility When q
man has become a boor and ruffian
what good is there in the material
success which enables him to have a
house to live in, horses to drive, and O
comfortable balance in a bank? He
may have power. He may have ser
wants to fetch and carry. He may have
wife and children. Men will hate him
and women will fear him. 1t were
better that he had never been born.
This daily spectacle on the Brooklyn
bridge is pretty surely the worst in
American. John Gilmer Speed ia
Ainsiee's.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

The tramp seldom goes into new
settlements at first, but he's generally
found there after bit
This country has at least outgrown
one of .ts infant Industries
Which Is that?"
They don't seem to name so many
babies George w. as they did when
Washingtons birthday was more of a
holiday"
Why should the ladies' bother their
heads
About creations plan?
Let them not seek for the rights Of
men,
But just try to get the right man.
They are still talking of Mars max
ing signals to the earth"
"The next thing some scientist will
come along and say it's got red in the
face through it's violent efforts to at
tract our attention
why Is the donkey, which is the
gravest, looked on as the most STUPID
of animals?"
Possibly to illustrate the fact that
a long head doesn't necessarily 20
along with a long face"
To get man where the hair is short
An easy thing twill be,
II you make 1t rule to search for him
In the Penitentiary
That making an artificial eye for
pug dog was quite feat in optical
science"
1T was. understand 1t was 30
natural even the beast itself couldn't
see through the deception"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

Madison, Feb. 28.-In the senate the
good roads resolution calling for a
constitutional amendment was laid
over until March on motion of Sen.
ator Stout. A senate bill was passed
reducing the limit of population for
cities of the second class from $1,000
to 10000. A vote that may be very
highly significant was cast ip the as.
sembly when the bill to give Dairy and
Food Commissioner Adams two as.
sistants was killed. Politics did IT,"
declared friend Of the meaure init.
mating that, as Adams was very close
TO the administration, the anti-primary
election element had lined up against
him. Speeches for the bill were made
by Messrs. Frost, Gilman, Thomas and
Root and against 1t by Messrs. Cady.
Spratt, Silkworth and Dodge. The
vote to kill was So to AZ. But whether
politics did 1t or not, a number OF
La Toilette men voted against the
measure. The Hall joint resolution
for constitutional amendment per.
hitting the use Of voting machines
was ordered to a third reading. Il
will take four years to get the con-
stitution amended. The committee on
federal relations made a report in
favor Of the state acceeding TO Colum.
bia county's plea for help In rebuild.
Ing and strengthening the dikes al
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
HAVE you TALENT?
1t is Difficult to Discover for What
One has Natural! Aptitude

" Is DirTicuIt 10 Discover for What
One has Naturs! Aptitude
"One good way, | think, to Judge
whether we have talent for anything
or not is to watch the motive that
draws us toward doing a thing"
writes Helen Watterson Moody, in
the Ladies' Home Journal. 'Tf we dc
it because it is the fashion, or because
other girls are doing it, or because we
have to do it for some useful purpose,
it is not probable that we have real
talent for it; but If we find ourselves
doing it just because we really love
it, and would rather do it than not; if
it is doing the thing itself that attracts
US, and not the eclat it is going to give
us in the eyes of others-why then |
think we may reasonably conclude
that God has given us a real talent
for that particular sort of thing
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

sciously or unconsciously seeks the
best. Is this method not worth
conscientious trial?-Sallie JOY White
in Woman's Home Companion.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
SPHERE OF LETTERS
BOOK REVIEWING HARDLY CO.
ING OUT OF FASHION.
BALTIMORE SUNS PLAN

College Professors to Do the Work.
Index in British Museum Complete
After 20 Years Labor-unpub-
Iished Notes by Stevenson-Gener
al Notes.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

Madison, Feb. 27.-The committee
on claims reported the Kreutzer bill
increasing the salaries of the supreme
court justices for passage Original
ly, the bill called for an increase of
the salaries of the judges of the SUI
preme court from $4,000 to 81 900 a
year and of the circuit judges from
$500 to $4,000. AS amended it gives
the supreme judges $4,000 year and
the circuit judges $4,000 with $500 a
year for travelling expenses, as here
tofore. A resolution asking for con-
stitutional amendment permitting
state aid in the construction of good
roads, was reported back without
recommendation and was referred to
the committee on roads and bridges.
The following bills were ordered TO a
third reading: Prohibiting the insur-
ance of state property and requiring
| three years study before admission
to the bar. The Smith bill for the re
turn to the capitol of the battlefags
| from the new historical building
whittier they were recently removed
and for the creation of permanent G
A. r. headquarters in the state house
brought on lively charge from the
old soldiers. The measure was or
the calendar for third reading, havinf
been favorably reported by the mill
tary committee. Mr.. Keene opposed
it on high grounds but unavailingly He
| a IN he
A. X. as any one, but their battleflags
belonged to posterity. They were
now in place of perfect safety but If
returned to the capitol they would be
In fire-trap. Then the soldiers
formed in solid phalanx, metaphor
ically speaking, and closed in on the
valiant Keene. David Evans, Jr., who
fought with the 49th Wisconsin volun-
teers and has been all over creation
since in gunboats and the like. led
the assault, declaring that those old
flags were for the living, not for the
dead. Mr.. Henry exclaimed that the
old soldiers asked to have them re-
stored, and that was enough for him.
Mr.. Coapman spoke eloquently, saying
the young men as well as the old
soldiers wanted the flags returned.
In the rotunda of the capitol they
were seen by many and were an in
spiration to all Then Mr.. Keene
capitulated. The bill involves an an.
preparation of 81 800 to fit up rooms in
the capitol for the headquarters and
so had to go to the claims com
mittee, but it will pass the lower
house with hurrah when it comes
back and then Stebbins and his heroic
cohorts will of course see that 1t has
easy sailing in the senate Perhaps
the most important episode In the
assembly was the submission by the
committee on privileges and elections
of a favorable report on Mr.. Halls
bill for an amendment to the constitu.
tion permitting the use of voting
machines. A senate bill has passed
enabling licenLiates to solemnize mar.
riages.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

Madison, Feb. Ex-senator Roehr,s
bill legalizing the practice of osteo-
pathy passed the senate, II to z. The
joint resolution, also by Senator
Roehr, providing for a constitutional
amendment permitting the legislature
to pass general banking law, passed
without opposition.
In the assembly a bill was passed
which provides that when prisoners
escape, when re-captured the time
they are away from prison shall not
be counted as part of their term of
sentence. The bill raising the penalty
for stated felonies from five to twenty
years in prison was also passed. The
Thomas bill, providing for two more
dairy and food inspectors at $1,000 a
year each was opposed by Mr.. Dodge
as a needless extravaganza. Final ac-
ton on 1t was deferred. The Stevens
bill forbidding unlicensed persons to
hawk drugs around was killed.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07
WISCONSIN LEGISLATURES.

Madison, Feb. 25.-By a vote of As
to 81 the assembly refused to adopt
the Lenroot joint resolution to permit
municipalities to raise their debt limit
for public utilities from to 10 pei
cent. A prolonged debate proceeded
this action, led by Judge Orton
against the proposition and by Mr.
Lenroot in its favor Both houses
also rushed through under suspension
OF the rules the tax commission bill tc
relieve the Northwestern Mutual Life
Insurance company of Milwaukee OF
many thousand dollars OF retaliatory
taxes. 1t provides for the taxing OF
companies at the rate of one per cent
on gross receipts in Wisconsin in,
stead of three per cent. on all bust
ness as the present law.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-03-07

written in English, he would ever
have obtained even a moderate sue
cess. To those who read for the sake
of the book and not for the author,
Tourgueneff is distinctly wearisome.
1t is not fair to criticise style when
presented through the medium of a
translation; but his methods are crude,
his conversations" dull levels of plat
itude, and his sole strength lies in the
human study furnished by his devel-
opment of character in his story. And
even in this regard ell that Tour
gueneff has accomplished has been far
better done by English or French
writers. Yet these writer's are slight
ed by those who are enthusiastic in
praise of the Russian novelist.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-03-25
L0COMOBlLE FOR SALE

One New Locomobile, No. 377
Style 2, made by The Locomobile
%. of America, OF Newton, Macs.
U. s. A., patented Nov. IA, 1899
Very little used, the property OF the
late Joseph Heleluhe, and run by
gasoline.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-03-25
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that the
Pearl City Cemetery is now open for
interments. A special funeral train
leaves the railroad station at 2:15 p.
M, daily, remaining at the cemetery
until after all interments.
The rates for transportation are
one dollar for the corpse, and fifty
cents for the round trip for
mourners.
Plats are now on sale at the Office
OF the company, ranging in price
from $40 up, according to location
and size. No other charges of any
nature.
HAWAIIAN CEMETERY AS
ISOLATION, LTD.
Room3, Love Building, Fort St.
70-3mos.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-03-25
FOR SALE.
LOST.

A Japanese Bamboo Hand Satchel
containing money wrapped 10 ii
leaves. memo. books, etc, was lost
on Sunday morning, March 10, on
Alakea St. from the Fishmarbet to
King street, and out King streat
towards Kapalsms and KaliiN.
Finder will be rewarded by leaving
the same at this Office. 55 II
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-03-25
TO LET.

Premises on Kukui Lane. Pos
session given on January l, 1901
For terms, apply to
67.n KAPIOLANI ESTATE.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-03-25

pU- Parties wishing to dispose Of tnaii
Pr0partiss. are invitad tn asll nm ms.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-01-19
AN UNKNOWN REPUBLIC.
Russians Discovered 1T in Manchuria
Tolerated by Chime.

According to a report published by the
Russian war office the Russian troops
made the discovery of regularly-formed
republic il Manchuria which has been in
existence for upward of half a century,
but was probably unknown 10 any of the
European powers, or, for that matter, to
the majority of European travellers in
the far East The Manchurian republic
is situated in the basin of the upper
reaches Of the River Sungari and south
of Grin. 1t is known by the name of
Tcha Pi Gou, and numbered originally
10000 citizens; the population is now
about 100000 souls.
In the beginning the miniature rcpub-
lie was governed by triumvirate, and
subsequently, a President. Chan Yui Pao.
who took all the executive powers into
his own hands and organized tribunals.
trade guilds, taxes, etc, and regulated
native industries and gold mining. \
small republican army was created and
has been permanently maintained In
the battle fought by the Russians in the
valley of the Sungari some two months
ago the republican force offered a more
determined opposition than the imperial
Chinese troops.
The existing President is a relative of
the late Chan Yui Pao named Chat Deu
tn. The Chinese authorities in the
province of Grin have. since its founda-
ton, always shown friendly liberation
toward the Manchurian republic OF Tcha
ri (iou-PariS Messenger