Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1901-08-08
a check for you
BANGED HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR

BANGED HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR
So 1 made out a check for $1,000; but,
alas, I could not find your addressl
Providence seems to have guided your
footsteps today. Some men might stop
at returning $1,000 for So and think
they had done good thing, but I
can't do 1t, Stevens-can't possibly, do
1t. When l think of your sublime con-
fidence In me-
II never had anyl"
"When l remember how you forced
that money into my hand and said I
need not return 1t for thousand years,
l realize that l can't do too much to
show my gratitude. Confiding, trust
ing friend. appoint you vice president
Of the Great American Old Fashioned
Pumpkin Pie company, and the salary
will be $4,000 per year. I'll also pre-
sent you with block Of stock worth
$4,000, and If the dividends are not
at least Is per cent per year I'll make
'em up to you. Let me congratulate
you, sir-let me congratulate your
81 have called for my e3," was the
quiet reply as the creditor arose and
removed his coat
"And what Is the Great American
Old Fashioned Pumpkin Pie COM
panyT queried the major as he walked
to and fro with tender smile on his
face. "As its name indicates, 1t is q
corporation for the manufacture and
sale of the pumpkin pies Of our grand
mothers days, the pie which encour-
aged the minutemen at Lexington and
stood behind the patriots at Bunker
Hill. 1t was the old fashioned pump
kin pie which cemented and built up
this Union and brought about the pros
perity of nation. Had we stuck by
the pie which stuck by us our infiu-
ence and prosperity would have been
twice what they are now; but, alas
we put 1t behind us for floating island,
charlotte russo and strawberry short
cake!'
"My three dollarsW said the creditor
as he arose and removed his vest.
"But we are about to return to the
halcyon pie, to nationalize It once more
and make 1t bulwark Of liberty.
have organized company with S2,000,-
600 paid up capital. The shares are
selling at par value today. but the first
Whit Of the first pumpkin pie which
reaches the nostrils Of the patriots OF
America will bounce those shares to
$120. We shall have the old fashioned
pumpkins, the old fashioned molasses,
the old fashioned ginger. We shall
turn out pies which will melt in the
mouths of the gods and lift the sons of
liberty off their heels. On the face OF
each pie will be stamped the Goddess
of Liberty, and on the back will be the
American eagle holding the stars and
stripes in his claws. While the eater
devours pumpkin he is at the same
time filling up on freedom"
"My three dollarsr' said Stevens as
he removed his cuffs and pushed up his
sleeves.
"And you are to be vice president at
a salary Of $4,000 yearg' smiled the
major. "In the days when the world
was against me you forced So into my
hand and showed your confidence and
trust. Do you think I can rest content
by simply repaying the loan or even by
making 1t $4,000? No, never! Monday
morning you shall enter upon your du-
ties, and If you want your salary for
year In advance you shall have 1t. In
time that So may grow to $3soO0,OOO,
and no one will be more gratified than
yours truly. Once the pumpkin pie Is
replaced on it's pedestal OF greatness.