Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-12-28
= Facts and Fancies. *

- Facts and Fancies. ::
l>o---~-o-~~-o---o-o~~-o~~-
All told. it takes a thief and a REFORM
er TO catch thief.-Life.
Teacher-What is an oasis?
Stddent-An oasis is dry spot in
desert.
Apparently the greatest safety" device
YET invented for the automobile is the
price.-Kansas City Star.
One Of the students in the English
history class said that Henry VI. mar
RED his grandmother.
The general worthlessness of advice is
exhibited in the fact that the average
man would rather give it than take it,
Life.
Now that Lord Kitchener has located
Gen. Dewet. the British public is pre-
paring itself for the worst.-Altanta
Journal.
Final.-"Does he love her?'' Love
her! Why, he has played whist with her
and still is anxious to marry her.
Town and Country.
Teacher-The new rule is that you are
10 be careful to speak with silence in
pasSing up and down stairs. a German
bulll
Teacher--Why has Mr.. B. two pairs
of spe1tacles?
Answer-Because he needs one pair to
look for the other.
All Surprised bessie was sur
,1aon II no-bIo;ch
marry him." Jessie" Everybody else
was.'-Ohio State journal.
A freshman gave the following defini-
ton of a common fraction: "A common
traction is made up of two parts with a
separation between them"
Latin Teacher-'I will give you a
motto, Memo sultat sobriuS.' Trans
Student-"No one dances while sober"
Tull soon the Christmas poet will.
With wondrous knowing grin,
Pick up his trenchant pen and drag
Baltimore American.
Sad, but True-Mrs Benham-'Who
invented the cornet?' Benham-"What
difference does it make now? It's too
late to make him suffer. Brooklyn
Life.
He-"It is a pleasure 10 meet a woman
who has sense of humor." She-"But
really, one doesn't need a sense of hui
NOR to laugh at the things you say
Life.
The following are some of the bright
remarks made by teachers and students
at the east division high school. as re-
ported by the Mercury, the school or
gan;
Caustic-AIinnick- sent some verses
editor read them at ALL Sinnick-'Ah!
they, were accepted, We're they ?"-Phila-
delphia Press.
Something in a Name.-'The clever
name 1;.,, that t., Bigggsley, adopted has proved
regular nom de plum for him. '-Clcve-
land Plain Dealer.
One Token Barred. -''Dearie. what do
Won want me to give you for Christmas -
well, precious, I've got eleven framed
photographs of you now. Detroit Free
Press.
School Board Inspector-"W is it
that sits idly by doing nothing while
everybody else is workng?"
Bobby-"The Glasgow Eve
ming Times.
Somewhat Like One.-"Dd you notice
how she iabbered away when she sat
there between those two menu Good
ness, yes! 1t made me think of a
tongue sandwich. "--PhiIadelphia Even
ing Bulletin.
Tigg- "Bigg's automobile was hopeless
~ wrecked this morning"
Migg-''That so? Hit a locomotive:"
Ilggs-''NO. Ran into a football team
Baltimore American.
Tanning the Flame-He-"Do yon
think your love for me will last as long
as this engagement ring?" Il don't
know, but if you notice it dying ont you
can present me with another. Life.
Encouraging -He-"My train goes in
fifteen minutes. Can you not give me
one ray of hope before ( leave you for
ever?" She-"Er-that clock is half an
hour fast. Brooklyn Life.
DIFFICULTY.
The Millionaire is puzzled now,
He cannot hang, YOU see.
y railway system on the bOugh
OF one small Christmas tree.
Washington Star.
Otway died of starvation: Chatterton.
starving, committed suicide: Goldsmith
couldn't pay milk bill. and here are the
Georgia authors fat friendly and cele-
hrating hog killing.-Atlanta Constitu-
ton"
Very Powerful. Mr. Binks-The pa
per says a big -four mill out West blew
s'p0se it's where they make this new
,ahgled self-raising 1our."-New York
Weekly.