West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-23
Mr.. BOWSER'S ODE.
He invents One 20 Shakespeare, but
Things Discouraging Happen 10
the Poet.

1
evening that Mrs. Bowser could not guess
whether he had got another soft corn, failed
in business or was about TO come down with
the measles. lie did not leave her long IN
doubt, however Drawing himself up with
good deal of dignity, he said;
"You will perhaps recall that Joined
the Shakesperean Club about month agopn
al remember that you were out one night
until 3 O'Clock" she replied.
''What II l was out ten nights till 4 o'clock
think am able to take care of myselfr
"oh, certainly, But what about the
Shakespereansp Are you going again to.
nishtp"
"Not tonight; but | have some work in
connection with il. The club has done me
the honor to ask me to write and deliver an
ode TO Shakespeare. thought I'd dash it
OFF aud let you 60 over il with me: don't
suppose you know an ode from a fall cheese
no woman does--but you can see II 1t
reads smooth
"Nou-You don't mean that you are going
to write an ode and deliver it1" she asked,
as she turned pale
Certainly am. Why not7"
'But you have never written one, and
snd"--
"And whatP Who told you that had
never written an odep Because | don't
keep ton OF two of odeS lying around the
house you think can't write one, ehP Well,
M
hit the crowd, and I'll deliver il in n way to
bring down the houst. I'll get pencil and
paper und make rough draft"
Mrs. Bowser made no reply. She would
have given all her pin money for the next
six months If she could have escaped from
the house for the next two hours, but she
realized IT was impossible. The family cat
stood around for four or FIVE minutes, as II
wondering what she should do, and then
got out of sigh, under the lounge. When
MIR. Bowser returned with pencil and paper
and got seated, he said.
"rhe night | joined the Shakespereans
some OF the members thought they saw
facial resemblance between me and Shakes
pere. Did il ever strike you that way1"
"Well, II doesn't astonish me. Our an
eestors were probably related. Now, here
goes for the ode. An ode is-an ode. An
ode is rather high flown. There are no
jerks aud jinglcs about an ode, and the lines
needn't always rhyme. Lcmme see
lemmc see.
For the next two minutes Mrs. Bowser
could hear her heart beats. MIR. Bowser
sat and stared into vacancy and the cat came
out of hiding and sat down and looked up
into his face with a yearning expression, as
il asking for an ode to herself. Inspiration
came grGdgingly, but presently the ''odest"
turned and wrote few words, and SAID.
"Ihc start is always the worst, but think
I've got IT, I'm going to lead off with
"Beneath the budding trees of spring
III tune my Tyre and sweetly sing"
GLOW does that strike you1'
al shouldn't exactly call that an ODE"
replied Mrs. Bowser.
"rhen what is it2"
"Its rhyme"
"lts rhyme, Of course, but it's an ode at
the same time. / always mingle the two
together when / can. I'll swectly sing
sing -sing--lemme see! All, have il. And
the first verse will now read
"Beneath the budding trees of spring
III tune my Tyre and sweetly sing
I'll sing of one whose great renown
Is known in every single town.
"Any fault to find with that2"
"Only that it isn't un ode"
"Isn'nt an ode1 II it isn't an ode, then
what in thunder would you call il2 What
are you grinning at, and what in blazes is
the cat looking at ne thaiway for2 Mrs.
Bowser, want no levity on this occasion.
have started out TO write an ode, aud ode's
and nonsense don't go together"
"Will you let me tell you tha, there is a
difference between an ode and rhymeP"
mo, ! won't. / was writing odes to
Napoleon, Washington and others before
you could spell the word, and want none
Of your impudence. What fool was to
expect any assistance from youl"
Mrs. Bowser wisely held her peace, and
the cat turned her back, and after Mr..
Bowser had walked around the room three
or four times, he sat down and wrote for
five minutes. Then a smile came TO his face
and his good nature was quite restored, as
he said:
"She runs off as easy as grease. have
finished the second verse, and will read it
TO you;
ellis name is Shakespeare, aud his pen
Has honored him among all men.
Ills name will live ten thousand years.
And DER his grave wen shed our tears"
perhaps you'll say that's not an oder
Where arc you going7"
Mrs. Bowscr had sta ried for the hall 10
give vent to her feelings, but she had to
halt and face him, and choke down her
emotions.
weren't you listening to that second
versc?" he severely asked.
"Yes, Of course; but must still say that
10 is NOT an ode"
"Oh, you musl9 How very kind. VIII
ihe lady condescend to explain when and
where she graduated as a Judge Of odes2"
''hf. Bowser, before 7 read you an ode,
lets look IN the dictionary and see what
Webster says arm sure you will dud"--
"find nothing be shouted. as his collar
began 90 turn red with his face and neck
Don't you dare attempt 90 read me an odei
Dont tell me what Webster. Worcester.
Jones, Johnson, or any other man says abou,
I ihcmr'
''But ] want 20 show you that you are
mistaken she protested.
''Never--never in all this world You
l 90 fisht of, A.. ,r.,r ,,,.,,, .,,a 49,. ,h...t.,