The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1901-09-13
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49,


Record.
You say that the defendant turned
and whistled to the dog. What follow
ed?" "WhyY' said the witness, inno-
Gently, "the dog"
Lady Ito departing seryant)-What
shall say in your reference? Servant
Just that | stood 1t for six months
with you. mum-that'll do for me.-Tit-
Bits.
Mamma-Bessie, did you give the
goldfish fresh water this morning, as l
told you? Bessie (aged 4)-No, mamma.
they hadn't drank hardly any of the
other yet
Patience-What is good to reduce
flesh? Patrice-Well, l had a friend
who bought bicycle, and she told me
she fell off a little every day.-Yonkers
Statesman.
A Paradoxical Talesman: Judge
Have you formed any opinion on this
case? Wouldbeigh Juror-No, sir;
haven't mentioned 1t to my wife,
Smart Set.
First Office Boy-I've got sixteen
aunts, two grandmothers an a great
grandmother. Second Office Boy-Geel
W'ot a lot of ball games you oughter
see dis summer.
Harry" said his mother. don't
throw away that nice bread. You may
need 1t some day" "Well," replied the
little fellow, "if l keep 1t till then it
won't be fit to eat"
81 understand that Frailman has
come to the conclusion to contest his
wife's will" "Well. what is there cour-
ageous about that? She's dead, isn't
heT-Richmond Dispatch.
He-These seaside resorts are all
alike-a soapbox hotel, a stretch Of
sand, and lot of bleached blondes.
She-Yes. And occasionally some mis-
erable apology for a man.-Exchange.
"Oh, you cruel boy, to take those
eggs out of the nestl Think of the poor
mother bird when she comes" 'sThe
mother birds dead. miss" "How do
you know thatr 81 see 1t in your hatv'
Punch.
"She caught thief In the house and
chased him four blccks," said the ad-
miring friend isn't 1t strange" re-
piled the sarcastic rival, "how some
girls are always after the menw-Chi-
cago Post.
Mrs. Sharpe (severely)-Norah,
can find only seven Of these plates
Where are the other FIVE? Cook Qn
surprise)-Sure. mum, don't yez make
no allowances for ordinary wear an
tear?-Puck.
A little 3-year-old miss one day dis
covered neighbor's chickens scratch
ing in the back yard and, calling to her
mother. said: "Oh, mamma; Mrs.
Smiths chickens are wiping their feet
on our grass!"
Hence the Term: Clarence-Why do
you say the wedding was patriotic1 7
Algernon-Well, the bride was red, the
groom was white. and her father, who
had all the bills to pay, was blue
Baltimore World.
Lawyer-You would say, then, that
Mr.. Whyte Is a gentleman of unim-
peachable veracity? Witness-Yes, sir,
presume that If anybody asked me to,
| should; but | have known him 10 lie
ometimes.-Sommervil Journal.
Dowaie referring to the pleasant
faced lady who has just passed)--Ah,
my boy, | owe great deal to that
woman. Dorking- She's not
your mother Is she? Downie-No, my
landlady.-Glasgow Evening Times.
Little Tommy-Mamma, that was
good beef We had for dinner. Where
did you get lti Mamma-That wasn't
beef, my SON 1t was roast pork. Lit
tie Tommy-Then why didn't you tell
me before. You know don't like pork.
Mamma" said 4-year-old Willie, II
wish had velocipede." "Well," she
replied, why don't you ask papa to
buy you oneY I'D rather you would
ask him, mamma" replied the little
diplomat. you've known him longer
than have"
My good little man." said the visit.
ing pastor, Il am afraid you've been
lighting. A black eye. Don't you want
me to pray with your Nav" said
the good little man; run home and
pray with your own kid. He's got two
black eyes. s."-Philadelphia Press.
Convincing His Chum: Johnny Qn
the garden)-Fatherl fatherl look out
of the window. Father quitting out
his head)-What a nuisance you chill
dren are. What do you want now?
Johnny with triumphant glance at
his playfellow) - Tommy Brooks
wouldn't believe you'd got no hair ON
the top of your head.-Tit- Bits.
He Won the Garment: A man car
ried a pair Of pantaloons back to his
tailor and said: II cannot wear these
pants; they are tighter than my skin"
The tailor said: II guess not II you
will prove that they are tighter than