The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-30
HEROES OF GRUB AGE
MAN VINO FIRST TASTED AN OYs.
TER WAS BRAVE AS A
LION
WHO MADE THE FIRST TESTS
Discoverer of Picked Pigs Feet
and Sauerkraut Deserves
Niche in the Temple
of Fame.

OF all great mysteries in this world
remarked the Hungry Nan. as he gave
MS order to the waiter, that of food is
one Oh the most fascinating. We modern
folks who enjoy the benefits of other
people experience and discoveries. sell
| oom give to this fact a Thought hut
nevertheless the fact remains Let me
Illustrate. There is our good friend thee
! mushroom, for instance and likewise orr
arch enemy, the toadstool They are SO
| IKE each other in appearance that even
TO TINS day luckless mortals occasionally
eat the wrong one and join the ranks OF
the toadstool eaters of the past Before
| folks learned to distinguish the differ
| ence, therefore, what lot of caIamities
must have been brought about through
the unfortunate resemblance and mans
| equally deplorable ignorance TO the
Stone Age, the Age of Reptiles and the
other prehistoric periods, there should be
ADDED still another; the Grub Age
1T strikes me that the Grub Age. thai
INDEFINITE epoch when the human race
was making the acquaintance of it's daily
rare, must have been very trying, not
to say painful portion of the worlds his
tory we are told in tradition that the
anclents very generally were hardy races.
Ihey needed to be, for, compared with
the discovery and conquest of new food
| Things to eat which you and 1 of the
present day regard as common-the dis
coVery and conquest of strange lands was
mere ch1lds play. Show me- for ex-
ample, a portrait of the first man WHOM
ate an oyster-soft and wobbly-and III
Snow you the portrait of brave and
dauntIess hero, willing to sacrifice his adj
Tor the benefit of the family bill of fare
In those days, every man was a sort of
government experiment station. or
| n n info
shouldn't be at all surprised if one of
the worst punishments meted out to
prehistoric man by his fellow beings was
a sentence to serve as food tester to the
village 1t would be worse than hanging,
great sight because of the terrible I'M
certainty attached to the Job With
everybody testing, no mans life would be
Sa1e, put with one man condemned to
test anything and everything which was
! brought before him. the danger would be
mlnlmlzed to all except the unfortunate
faster. This, 1 have no doubt was prac-
t1ced among the very ancient, else how
happened 1t that so many of the patri-
archs of old were playink golf and bridge
whist at the age of 800 .
No doubt the doctrine of expansion
was then applied to eatabIes The man
who believed in supplementing the fam
lily rare with something new and novel
was regarded as dangerous to the health
cried out for the days of the thirteen
original foods. Progressive ideas, how
ever, prevailed then as now, and that is
why we of today eat soft-sheIled crabs,
Holsters, frogs legs, calves brains ,
snails, eggs, terrapin CLANS, potatoes
and other delightful dainties with i'm
punity. But, as you eat, consider the
pains, the nerve, the fortitude which
your ancestors had to display in order
to establish the reputation for honesty
of the stuff which you enjoy You who
like apple fritters, how would you like
to have been the man who first overcame
the prejudice against the apple? If re-
member rightly the apple was the fruit -
which helped to destroy the peace of the
Garden OF 4-den. How about potatoes?
What was the prehistoric person polk
ing at when he lit upon them? Is it m
the realm of possibility that he had the
nerve to eat of the dirty brown
things? I think not And it's the same
with turnips, asparagus, beets, celery,
and so on to infnity May blessings be
upon the heads of their discoverers and
early patrons. Beside them the occu-
pants of the Hall of Fame, mere histor-
| ical personages, fade away into the deep =
gloom of insignificant obscurity. Trot
out the benefactor who first picked pigs
feet? Oh, show me the martyr who first
doomed sauerkraut!
III is TO the residents of the ancient
sea coasts, however, that we should
salaam the lowest. To them belongs the
greatest credit, for the conquest of the
vegetable is as nothing when compared
with the conquest of the shell fish. What
was it about the crabs physical appear
ance that suggested he was good to eat?
How many prehistoric people broke their .
teeth on the shell of his relative, the
/ lobster before learning that the inside
alone was eligible for internal use? And,
anyway, what do you suppose the man
who first boiled lobster said when he
saw the ugly beast turning red? For all
we know, however, the very ancients
may have had even worse times than we
give them credit for, as I doubt whether
any man living today would care togo
and gather material for a PleosauruS
pot pie, a Megatherium steak or zero
dactyl stew. Prime honors, notwith-
standing, let US bestow upon him who
first ate a snail. What courage! What
! originality Leaving long and luminous
path behind it as it goes, the snail is
suddenly seized. Its captor looks at it
meditatively and then-dd he take it
home and cook it, that first snail, or did
he eat it
"Ah,' said the Hungry Man, interrupt
ing himself, here comes the waiter with
our tripe and ice cream Brooklyn
Eagle