davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Money Refunded.

Some time ago the French courts
were puzzled by the case of man who
lost bank-note under remarkable cir
cumstances. Dining on the terrace of
a NarbOn8e restaurant, he let the bank
note fall into his soup. He laid the note
on the table to dry, and gust of wind
carried it away. A passing dog swal-
lowed 1t, and the gentleman detained
the animal, whose collar happened to
bear the masters name. The owner Of
the note sued the owner of the dog sOr
a hundred francs, the value of the note.
There was much legal hair-splitting,
but at length the court arrived at de-
cision which surprised most people,
ordering the owner of the dog to re-
fund the hundred francs.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
CHApTER XxII-rCoptinuedJ


While the family were making arrange
ments to move from Glenwood to Chico
pee, Henry for the first time in his life
began 20 see how little use he was to
himself or any one else Nothing was ex-
pected Of him, consequently nothing was
asked Of him, be began to wonder how he
himself was henceforth to exist. His
fsther would be in California, and he had
too much pride to lounge around the old
homestead. which had come to them
through George Moreland's generosity.
Suddenly it occurred to him that he,
too, would go with his father--he would
help him repair their fortunes-he would
be man, and when he returned home,
hope painted joyful meeting with his
mother and Jenny, who should be proud
TO acknowledge him as a son and broth
er. Mr. Lincoln warmly seconded his
resolution, which possibly would have
never been carried out had not Henry
heard Of Miss Herndon's engagement
with rich old bachelor, whom he had
often heard her ridicule. Oursing the
hckleness Of the fair lady, and half-wish-
ing that he had not broken with Ella,
whose fortune, though not what he had
expected, was considerable, he bade adieu
to his native sky, and two weeks after
the family removed to Chicopee, he sail
ed with his father for the land Of gold.
But alas! The tempter was there be-
fore him, and In an unguarded moment
he fell. The newly made grave, the mar
row coffin, the pale, dead sister and the
solemn VOW were all forgotten and de-
bauch Of three weeks was followed by a
violent fever, which in a few days cut
short his mortal career. He died alone,
with none but his father to witness his
wild rawlings, in which he talked Of his
distant home, of Jenny and Rose, Mary
Howard and Ella, the last Of whom he
seemed now 70 love with madness
amounting almost to frenzy. Tearing out
handfuls of his rich brown hair, he thrust
It into his fathers hand, bidding him to
carry It to Ella and tell her that the heart
she had so earnestly coveted WAS hers in
death. And the father, far more wretch
ed now than when his ffst-born daugh-
ter died, promised everything, and when
his only son was dead, he laid him down
to sleep beneath the blue sky of Califor-
MIA where not one Of the many bitter
tears shed for him in his far-off home
could fall upon his lonely grave.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
United states, Ingratitude.

Robert Morris rendered inestimabIe
service to his adopted country by put
ting his private fortune into the breach
in those early days when the infant
nation was in the closest of financial
straits says a writer in the July Lip
pincott.
The $1,500,00O which made it possible
for Washington to carry on the cam
palgn against Lord CORVALLIS was
raised entirely upon his own personal
security. For the most trying eight
years of our history this noble man
stood at the monetary helm of our gov
ernment and guided it through MANY
perils. Years after, in his old age. un-
fortunate land speculation ruined him.
His creditors demanded Immediate
payment. His country could have
saved Morris by paying back a titbe
of what he had freely given to 1t in its
time of need. This was not done.
To our lasting disgrace he was
thrown into a debtors prison and died
there, an old man of ~.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
SMART BOYS IN WALL STREET
Messenger Boys Who Devise Means
for Beating the Bucket ShoDS.

Messenger Boys Who Devise Means
for Beating the Bucket Shops.
Wall street sharpens the wits Of boys
and frequently tempts them TO dishon-
esty. In one case, says the New York
Sun, boy who carried orders from the
Office partner of the firm to the board
member fell under suspicion The firm
found that certain bucket shop seem
ed to know of its orders even before
they were placed. Individual orders
do not always affect the market, but
this particular firm represented inter-
ests that did frequently control the rise
and fall of certain stocks. The mes
senger was carefully watched, but at
first nothing out of the way could be
discovered about him. He went straight
to the exchange and hurried as though
his life depended ON 1t. In his haste
he often collided with other boys. Final
ly it was noticed that, whenever he had
an order Of any Importance he invaria-
bly, had collision. He ran into boy,
whispered to him the order which he
had on a slip of paper dlsentangled
himself from the mix-up, and sped
along to the exchange. The second boy
ran to bucket shop in the neighbor-
hood, turned in the tip, and his friends
there acted on the firms order even
before 1t had reached the floor
Another scheme which stirred up the
whole exchange was worked by four
boys. Three of them were messengers
The fourth was an expert telegrapher
None of the four was more than 10
years old.
The young telegrapher was in the tel
egraph room Of the stock exchange.
and, although he wasn't one of the ope-
ratOrs, he could read by ear everything
that came over the wire. When any
thing important turned up he gave in
formation at once to boy outside. 1t
was never found out exactly how he
did 1t, but the boy outside the door had
baseball whose cover was slit. He
tucked the slip of paper under the
leather and threw hot ball TO another
boy half block down the street. This
third boy drove the ball to fourth
boy, at the do0r of a well-known bucket
shop.
This boy took out the slip, read 1t,
and made bucket shop deals accord
ingly. The boys had only a few hun
dred dollars to start the game with. but
they always won; and, in times of great
excitement and fuctuation they made
big sums. for they had their informa.
tlon before news of the big movement
could reach the bucket shop through
the ordinary channels. The bucket
shop brought about the exposure.
A scheme very similar was worked
on the consolidated stock and petro.
leum exchange by three boys, only in
this case the boys passed the tip along
by sign language and the third boy.
posted at the door of the exchange. or.
dered his broker to act upon the news.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
IT WAS GEN. CROOKS JOKE.
He Paid the BiII and Therefore Hsd n
RiRht to Laugh.

'To most people the late General
George Crook, the Indian fighter, was
3 solemn man, but he loved practical
joke" said Colonel "Joe" Her to a
New York Tribune man. Back in the
'7Os. soon after he was made a Brlga-
dier General and stationed at Omaha.
General Crook organized wildcat
hunting party among lot Of us, and
one moonlight night we started across
the prairie from Omaha for the fort.
The plan was to sleep at the fort and
ct daylight start for the wildcats. Az
ter we were all fast asleep General
Crook came downstairs without any
shoes on and took from our rifles the
ball cartridges, replacing them with
blanks. On the way to the woods the
General indicated the order in which
he wished us to fire on the first Wild
cat in case we should tree the beast.
We had hardly reached the woods be-
fore General Crook rose In his saddle
and said:
BY thunder, boys, here's cat right
In the crotch Of that fir! Drop Off your
wagon and bag him"
1--WE were on the ground in twin
ling, and in less time than 1t takes to
tell 1t we were blazing away at a mon
strous big wildcat which was hugglng
the limb Of the tree. The cat never
stirred as the successive shots were
fred, and the hunters looked at one
another with open-mOuthed astonish-
ment. We looked around for General
Crook. and found him behind stump
laughing away to beat the band. At
once It flashed on us that we had been
hoaxed. The General had just straight.
ened up and was beginning to explain
the joke when the driver, a hired man
at the fort, pulled from under blanket
In the wagon double-barreled shot
gun, loaded with buckshOt. The Gen
eral didn't see him fire, but he turned
around just In time to see tufts of fur
and hair fly from the wildcat as 1t
dropped from the tree.
"Off went the General into another
flt of laughter. But this time the laugh
was on himself, for the hired man had
poured both charges of buckshot into
a beautifully stuffed wildcat complete
ly running it, and the General subse-
quently paid the saloonkeeper from
whom he had borrowed II about SIS.
All that Crook said was:
Boys. 1t was worth hundred dol
lars apiece to see five good marksmen
miss wildcat in broad daylight at
thirty paces'"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
CHAPTER XIV.

Bewildered, and unable to comprehend
word, Sally listened while Mary told
her of the relationship between them.
but the mists which for years had
shrouded her reason were too dense to
be suddenly cleared away; and when
Mary wept, winding her arms around her
neck and calling her aunt" and when
the elegant Mrs. Campbell, scarcely less
bewildered than Sally herself, came for
ward, addressing her as sister" she
turned aside to Mrs. Mason, asking in a
whisper what had made them crazyY
But when Mary spoke of little Willie's
grave, and the tree, which overshadowed
it. of the green prairie and cottage by
the brook, once her western home, Sally
listened. and at last, one day, a week or
two after her arrival in Boston, she sud
denly clasped her hands closely over her
temples, exclaiming: It's come. It's
come! | remember now-the large gar
den--the cross old man-the dead mother
the rosy-cheeked Ella | loved so well
-"
That was my mother-my mother" in
terrupted Mary.
4 VI hiOhiChl Ndiy TeEdEueu ueI lu-
tently, and then catching her in her arms
cried over her, calling her ''her precious
child,' and wondering she had never no.
ticed how much she was like Ella
And don't you remember the baby
Jane?" asked Mrs. Campbell, who was
present.
"Perfectly-perfectly," answered Sally,
He died and you came in a carriage, but
didn't cry-nobody cried but Mary"
II was in vain that Mary tried tc ex-
plain to her that Mrs. Campbell was her
sister-once the baby Jane. Sally was
not to be convinced. To her Jane and
the little Alice were the same There was
none of her blood in Mrs. Campbells
veins, "Or why" said she. did she leave
us so long in obscuritygme and my niece,
Mrs. George Moreland, Esq. p
This was the title which she always
gave Mary when speaking of her, while
to Ella, who occasionally spent a week
in her sisters pleasant home. she gave
the name Of little cipher" as expressing
exactly her opinion OF her. Nothing so
much excited Sally, or threw her into so
violent a passion. as to have Ella call
her aunt.
If wass't her kin when I wore a six
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Entertaining soap-Bubble Trioks

ANY one can perform these soap
bubble tricks by the exercise of little
care" writes Meredith Nugent, in the
Ladies' Home Journal. "To make 4
bubble rest upon flower dip dahlia
or other stiff-petaled flower into the so
luton and then with a pipe or funnel
blow a bubble upon the top of it.
''To make bubbles and noise, dip the
end of an ordinary tin fish-horn well
into the solution and blow gently until
quite large bubble has been formed
Then four or five loud blasts may be
sounded on the horn without injuring
the bubble in the least.
''To make six bubbles inside of one
another, dip the end of a straw in the
sOapy water and after resting the wet
end upon an inverted plate or sheet of
glass, which should have been previous
ly wet with the solution, blow bub.
Bile about six inches in diameter Then
dip the straw well into the solution
again, thrust it through the center of
this first bubble and blow another. Con.
tinue in this manner until the bubbles
have all been placed"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Calling the Doctor.

A good story Is told of DR.. X, who is
the physician In charge of the female
wards Of one of our best known charl-
table institutions One evening about
o o'clock Mary, a new Irish servant
girl, knocked at the door, saying:
Doctor, the head nurse wants you to
come down to supper"
The doctor, swelling in his pride of SUI
periority above the nurses, sent the
Irish girl away with a curt message.
Half an hour later the head nurse came
to his room looking very serious.
Doctor" she said, Number 8 is
very bad indeed. | think you ought to
see her at once.
why did You not let me know be-
foreY was the reply.
"Why, DOCTOR" said the nurse. II
sent you word by Mary half an hour
ago"
THE foolr said the doctor. "She
told me to come down to supper"
Why" said the nurse. Il sent you
word to come down to eight"
An inquiry made the whole thing
clear. Mary thought It more polite to
say. Come down to supper" than to
say. Come down to ate"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
The Unicorn

Chinese annals of great antiquity
contain numerous detailed accounts of
the supposedly fabulous unicorn, in
which the descriptions are Identical
with those handed down from the
earliest times in the mythology of occi-
dental countries From this it is in
ferred that, at some time in the remote
past, there actually did exist single
horned equine or cervine animal of
some sort.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

81 went into town yesterday" said
the Longueil man. who thinks he has
all the fashionable diseases except
housemaid's knee, "and l told my doc
tor that I insisted upon knowing the
worst"
YES" said his friend. with a world
Of sympathy in bis voice, "and what
did he tell your
HE said his bill came to $79.".-Mon-
treal Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
His Little Toke

Finnigan-Oi hear yez hoy a girrul
baby at your house, McManus. Phwat
Is it yez are afther calm tn infant?
McManus-Shure an it do be Caro-
line tn ovid woman tells me, but OF
call her Carrie for short, OF dunno.
Finnigan-C Carrie, is it, McManus ?
Faith an thOts a good name fer a fay
male missinger boy, Oi'm thinkin.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
These Huwbug, Of Hu,bands

did your husband go with you to
your picnic, Mrs JonesY
"NO; his employer is so mean he
wouldn't let poor Henry OFF. but Henry
gave him good talking to about It,,
and guess he got ashamed of himself,
for he said Henry could have a two
days fishing trip"-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Tried MnrnI Snnsinn-

HoOsler SchoOlmaster- Don't do any
whipping here, eh?
Eastern Pedagogue-No we use
moral suasiOn.
HoOsier Schoolmaster- Moral suaslon,
eh? | tried that in Indiana, but it
made heap of trouble The girls didn't
object to the kissing, but the old folks
cut up like all possessed.-Ne York
Weekly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

Mrs. Seldom Holme-Do you know
anything about that family that is mov-
ing into the fiat in the next block.
Mrs. Nexdore-No, but | think they
are rather selfish, dIsagreeable people.
They took all their household furniture
there in these big. covered vans, so no
body could tell what it looked like
Chicago Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
A sharp.Tongued Woman,

Mrs. Wicks-When my husband says
anything have to take it with a grain
of salt.
Mr.. Hicks-When my wife says any
thing | have to take it with a good
many grains of pepper.-Somerville
Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Her penr Friend,. KnncL

Nell-Does Miss Antique come of an
old family?
Belle-Both her parents are over 80,
and still living. Philadelphia Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

Rural VisitOr-Doesn't it cost an aw-
full lot to live in the city?
Natiye-N0, 1t doesn't cost much to
live; trying to keep up appearances is
what paralyzes Il mans bank account.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Nnt lin 10 the Marx.

Magazine Editor Haven't you got a
poem to go ON this page?
Assistant-Here's one that | don't
quite get the meaning Of, but | suppose
many of our readers will understand It,.
Magazine Editor-That won't do l
want something that will puzzle every
bOdy.-Judge.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
lsual he wns monopolIzlng the

As usual he was monopolzing the
newspaper.
please let me have the woman's
page" she said.
lie carefully tore off a page and hand
ed it to her
1t was a full-page advertisement Of a
millinery opening and he chuckled at
his own joke-Chlcago Evening post.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Why Didn't He Pull the Teethr

Carpenter-W Well, boy, have you
ground all the tools, as l told you,
while I've been out?
Boy newly apprenticed-Y mas
ter, all but this ere 'andsaw. An |
can't quite get the gaps out of it.
Punch.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Chasing the Foxy.

Shells your friend going to marry
the widow?
Hell think not. He told me he had
better Offer.-The Smart Set.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Pro fessional. Humorist.

Diggs Your friend the doctor, is a
funny fellow, isn't he?
Biggs-In what way is he funny?
Diggs-Why, he's always taking
somebody off.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Hia preference.

Oldham-Are you going to the lecture
tonight on The Girl Of To-day"
Younger not. The girl of to-
night is more attractive.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
No Harm Would ResuIt.

do you mean to say man might
smoke cigarettes constantly for week
without any particular harm result
ing?"
Certainly"
why, it would kill him."
"Of course, but it wouldn't seriously
affect any one else. e."-Philadelphia
Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

Observation-Disclosures was one of
the most successful men we ever had
in our place.
City Friend-Yes? Succeeded in sell
ing out, did he?-Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
lust to Be PIensant.

Nell-You surely don't think jenkins
wife pretty.
Belle Certainly not
But you told May Sewers she was
just lovely"
THAT was because May was an old
fame of Jenkins'."-Phlladelphia Rec
ord
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Dc Bonght the Rinp.

He (cautiously)-WOuld you-er-ob-
ject if | were to call you by your first
name?
She-No, indeed. don't like my sur
name, anyway.
He-If you could change 1t what
name would you choose?
She-Yours
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Those Loving Girls.

Maude-Do you think my new hat is
becoming dear?
Clara-Yes, indeed. Why, it actually
makes you look ten years younger
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

Borem consulting his watch)-lsn't
your clock a little slow Miss Cutting2
Miss Cutting (suppressing yawn)-
No. think not; but there are times
when it does seem so.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
IL WouId seem So

May inquire what your
business is stranger?
Stranger (haughtlly)-Sir, I'm a gen.
tleman.
Rubberton-Well, | reckon that's a
good business. stranger, but you're not
the only man that's failed at It.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
,aid the retired business man,
An Erhlhltion stnnt.

Mamma-The whipping you got yes
terday doesn't seem to have improved
you Your conduct has been even worse
to-day.
Willie-That's what | wanted to
prove. You said was bad as l posi-
bly, could be yesterday, an l knew you
was wrong. Philadelphia Record
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
A Cheaper Way.

DOctor-To take the rest cure will
cost you 500 a week.
Henpeck Why, doctor, can send my
wife away to the country for half that.
Judge.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Yes" replied the woman.
Like it?' queried the man,


Young Mother-After all, nothing is
so perfect as a baby
Bachelor Brother-That's right-espe-
cially as a nuisance.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

ITS mighty queer that Frank Tickle
ton should turn out to be a defaulter," !"
remarked Tenspot.
That's what It is" added Bunting.
Nobody ever heard him alluded TO as
Honest Frank Tickleton. Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Then She Broupht tbe pie

Mrs. Strongmind-Why don't you GO
to work?
Tramp-Please, mum, | made a sol
emn vow, twenty years ago, that I'd
never do another stroke of work till
women was paid tn same wages as
men.-New York Weekly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Best She Could DO.

Guest-Waitress there's blonde
hair in my soup,
Blonde Waitress-S Shall dye my hair
black to please you?-Meggendorfer
Blaetter
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

Some music is given out by the choir,
but the drummer dispenses it by tbs
pound.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Mid Form of Insanity.

"Cranker pays as he goes" HAS
plenty of money. eh?" "N0; merely
eccentric. Smart Set
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

With the average company the secre-
tary does the work, aYs the other Off
GERS get the credit.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
willie Would Have His Way.

Little Freddie Mamma, doesn't I'm
Gle Bob like plum pudding?
Mamma-Ye but the doctor won't
let him eat it.
Little Freddie Well, IL was as big
as him there wouldn't be any doctor
big enough TO stop me.-Boston Her
aid
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

But how do you pass your timer
asked the lady from the city of the re-
tired business man who had settled on
a farm.
Well" said the retired business man,
81 spend a good deal of it in explaining
to inQuirers how get along out here y
Somerville Journal
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

"Why am going to thrash you, Fer

"Why am | going to thrash you, Fer
dnandW
81 dunno. Amt it bad enough to
have a whaekin' without hayin to an
swer conundrums as well?-Ally Slo-
per.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
Just Like a Man.

"You lived on Texas ranch for a
number of years, believe" said the
man.
Yes, replied the woman.
Like it?' queried the man.
mo; it was too lonesome; no neigh
bors to talk to-" answered the woman
You mean there were no neighbors
to talk about" said the man.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

Tess-I'ye got new way to tell per
sons age.
Jess-Is that so? VIII you tell any
one'Sage?
Tess-Yes.
Jess-Tell me yours, then.-Philadel-
rhia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Odd, Curious and LauGhable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por-
trayed by Eminent Word Artists of
Our Own Day-A Budget of Fun.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

s.2i \, ARA sFANL RIVER Lv. v.Lewiston
daily " -" '''oii S;ii ~
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-08-16

6:45 a. m. wIuausta Rly.. s.oo
Tues, Thur ''''''' uog p w IN
ana sat Portland to Corval and Fri.
lis Way Land.
iuWS