The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-04-28
The wit and Humor of h Irish BE.

The Wit and HumOF of the Irish Beg
cling Profession.
The first popularity that strikes a stran-
ger on landing in any part Of Ireland Is
the multiplicity Of beggars. Their wit and
humor are as proverbial as their rags and
wretchedness. and both too frequently ex-
cite n laugh at the cost Of serious refiec-
tons upon their misery and the means by
which it may be lessened. Every town Is
full of these objects. who parade their at
fiictions with ostentation or exhibit their
half-naked children as SO many claims to
aims as a right. Age. decrepitude. imbecil-
iy and disease surround the car the mo-
ment 1t stops. or block up the shop doors.
So as. for a time, efectually to prevent
either entrance or exit. "In the small town
of Macroom." says a visitor. about which
we walked one evening. desiring to examine
1t undisturbed. we had refused. in positive
terms. to relieve any applicant; promising.
however, the next morning to bestow q
halfpenny each upon all who might ask It.
The news spread, and no beggars intruded
themselves on our notice that night. Next
day It cost US exactly three shillings and
tenpenco to redeem our ~pledge-no fewer
than ninety-two having assembled At the
inn gate. We encountered them nearly in
the Same proportion In every town through
which We passed"
1t IS vain to plead inability to relieve
them; II you have no halfpence the answer
Is ready: "Ah, but we'll divide Q little six
pence between u.s." and then comes the
squabble as to which Of the group shall be
made agent for the rest. Every imaginable
mode Of obtaining a gratuity Is resorted to;
distorted limbs are exposed, rags as stu
diously displayed, n almost invariably q
half-idiot, with his frightful glare and par
alyzed voice. is among them. The language
in which they frame their petitions Is al
ways pointed, forcible and generally highly
poetic: Good luck to yer ladyship's happy
face this morning; shure yen lave the
light heart in my bussom before 70 go?'
'Oh, thin. look at the poor that can't look
ut you. my lady: the dark blind) man that
can't see II yer beauty Is like yer sweet
voice" Darling gintleman, the heavens be
yer bed and give us something" "Oh the
blessing of the wildly and five small chill
dren that's waiting for yer Honor's boun-
ty'n be wild ye on the road" "Oh. help the
poor craythur that's got no childer to show
yer H~onor-they're down in the sickness.
and the man that owns them at sea-" "Oh.
then. won't yer ladyship buy a dying wom-
ans prayers chape?' They're keeping me
back from the penny you're going to give
me, lady dear, because I'm wake in myself
and the hearts broke wild the hunger"
"Some time ago." says a visitor, I'VE were
travelling In a stage coach, and at Mas.
where we had been told that the native
beggars double the population of the town.
a person inside told a troublesome and per-
severing applicant very coarsely to go to
-. The woman turned up her eyes and
said. with inimitable humor. 'Ah. then, It's
a long journey your Honor's sending us;
maybe yer Honor'n give US something to
pay our expenses We saw. in Waterford. a
gentleman engrily repulse a beggar, with
q call to his servant to shut the door, and
an odd soliloquy followed. Thu woman half
and half Missed: Shut the door!
and that's it. Is it? Oh, then. that's what
I'll be saying to you when We want to pass
through the gate Of HEAVIER It's then I'll
be saying to st. Peter: shut the door. st.
Peter, says 1, to a dhurty nagur. that'd dis
grace the place intirely. says land yen be
axing me to let We in; the never q tut, says
I; shut the door. says L; shut the doori
Ould -go-by-the-ground Cthe person who had
excited her wrath was Of diminuttve stat
ure), what'Tl yo say then?'"