The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1901-04-10

IiCious t1dwholesome
sa CO.. INV noE.-
There were good many jokes
played on the unsuspeoting in this
place, Monday.
The only way to get the drop on
a saloonkeeper is to beat him throw
dice for the drinks.
1t is rumored champagne trust
is contemplated, but it will prob
ably be fizzle.
The more you crumple your our
renoy the more you will find it in.
creeses.
When an employe is discharged
he experiences relief from that
hired feeling.
1t will be all right to put Samp-
sons face on the Santiago medals
if the medals are made of leather.
The industrious poet and the
conscientious hon are both think.
ing of Easter lays.
Our County Court is to be praised
for the humanitarian principles
which they apply in caring for our
worthy poor
Gallipolis papers say the water
in their reservoir is filled with mil.
lions of little white worms, which
cannot be accounted for, The Tri-
bune says every glass Of water
drawn from hydrants, is alive with
these worms.
There are two public fountains
in town, and yet not a CUP attached
to them by which person may
get a drink of water. There should
be better regulations for and better
care taken of the public fountaine.
They should not be allowed to be
made plaything for children.
Those famous little pills, Dewitt's
Little Early Risers will remove all inn
purities from your system, cleanse
your bowels, make them regular.
Hoo1r; MIcNlillin.
Instead of deporting outspoken
editors from Manila, the President
should send a few moro over there.
THEY'RE badly needed
Skin troubles, outs, burrs, scalds
and chating quickly heal by the use
of DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve. 1t is
Hoofr; McAIillin.
The victory of Rolla Wells, in
ST. Louis. means Democratic
municipal government during the
Worlds Fair period.
You cannot enjoy perfect health,
rosy cheeks and sparkling eyesify your
liver is sluggish and your bowels clog
ged. DeWitt's Little Early Risers
cleanse the whole system. They new
or gripe. Hooff; MoMilin.
The announcement of Aguinal.
dos capture will tend to shake con.
fidenoe in the reports of his death.
Spring coughs are specially danger
GUS and unless cured at once, serious
results often follow. One Minute
Cough Cure acts like magic. 1t Is not
n common mixture but Is a high grade
remedy. Hoon; McMilin.
A widow who has made up her
mind to marry again has great
deal moro sense in laying traps
than widower.
81 had piles so bad could get no
Wits Witch Hazel salve. After
using 1t once. forgot i ever had any
thing like piles "--E. g. Boice, Som
ers Point, N. Y. Look out for imita-
tions. BE sure you ask for DeWitt's.
Hoofr; McMillin.
General Funston was wise
enough to get married before lie
became such great hero.
Last winter was confined to
my bed with very bad cold on the
lungs. Nothing gave me relief. Fin
ally my wife bought a bottle on One
Minute Cough Cure that effected a
speedy cure. j cannot speak too high
~ OF thhU exec Ient felneuy' mr. ~.
X. Houseman, Manatawney, Pa
Hooh; McMillin.
Advertising, even moderately
we'll managed, is one of the short
est roads to suocess.-Artemus
Ward, "Sapolio."
You will waste time II you try to
cure indigestion or dyspepsia by
1t worse when you do eat heartily.
You always need plenty OF good food
properly digested. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure is the result of years Of scienti-
fic research for something that would
digest not only some elements of food
brit every kind. And it Is the one
remedy that will do it.
Hooff; McMillin.