davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

suspicious lookn' goin' down tn sthreet. say
he was suspicious lookn' because disguised
an looked ivry wan in tn face He had no dog with
him. A damning circumstance. Watson, because wnin
he'd stolen tn dog he niver wud've taken 1t down
Dorseys house Ye wudden't notice these
yeer mind while feeble is His coat Collar
was turned UP an he whislin' to himsf. habit
Nv dog fanciers AS he whit be Hogans house he did
look around Or Change his gait otherwise do amy
thing that wud indicate
was anything wrong, facts thimsilves
me cultivated intelligence that guilty. Followed
him In me minds eye to his home there chained to
tn bed leg, is Dorseys dog Tn tn animal is P.
x. oHannigan an ne lives at Twinty-wan hundred an
nney-nine South sthreet top fiat rear, plumber
profession Officer, arrest that mani"
That's all right said Mr.. Hennessy. But Dugan
rayturned tn dog las night
ooh, thin" said Mr.. Dooley calmly this Is not a
case FIR Sherlock Holmes, but FIR tn polls Thars
tn throuble. Hinnissy-, with tn defective tn story
NaWtnn happens in rale life that's complicated enough
fr him. If tn presidint iy tn Epworth League
safe-bower be night tn
with great powers v observation hraned habits
rafsonn' But crime Hinnissy, pursoo simple
minded-that is, catchablo crime is pursoo iv t SIM
pleninded TIL other kind tn uncatcnable kind that
took be men iv 1tellict is called high
knowed nanny criminals in time an " tnnn
was fine men an very happy in their home life an
more simple pasth'ral people We nver Wan
ablest bank robbers in TIL country to live
he owned flat budin-and befure he'd turn
afther Tayturnn' firm his nights wurruk, go
In tn shed an chop tn wood. always wint into
house through thransom fear iv wakn wife who
was delicate woman an shop litter. AS tell We
without gu1e he whit about his joot1es
about yeers. don't think in tn long
much thin We do. Wanst in while, get
good bunch Nv money but many other times afther
dh1iin all night through steal dure, all he'd ndd
short crisp note firm tn prsdint Nv tn bank
often discouraged an he toll wanst If he
forty dollars tn month, business
on settle down farm
mo, sir, criminals is TIL simplest crathers
wide wurruld, innocent, straightforward, dangerous
people, haven't enough honest or prosper
TIL extint " their schamin' is break lock on
dhure sweep handful Nv change firm counter or
dhri hole in safe administer tn shrong arm
to a tired takin' home his load. There are no
MYSTERIOUS crimes EXCEPT thin that happens
ordinary crook Hinnissy, goes ringin bell an
distnributin handblls announcin his business he
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

runs Schmidt boy FIR vry crime rayported IT m
stealth % forgin' check in TIL full knowledge
day he'll him FIR tn right thing NO. sir;
injanyous that put two an two together
eight iv tnm He applies his brain 10 CRIME
dye mind, an dfvvle tn crime, no matther now cuhh
1t Is will escape him. Well suppose Enhessey' eiae
Tn Sherlock Holmes settin here In me little parior
wearin dhressin gown an now an thin pokln mesllr
full v morpheen. Here we are Ye come III. 1oou
mornin', Watson
4 amt Watson" said Mr. Hennessy. I'm Hinnissy.''
'.Ah" said Mr. Dooley; 81 thought I'd wiring 1t tr m
Perhaps yed like to know how GUESSED ye nao
come in IT'S very simple Ony matther ~ observa-
heerd ye'er step; seen ye'er REFLECTION IN tn
ookin glass; We spoke to me- put these things To-
gether thrained faculty FIR observation an de-
duction, we mind. Says to mesif: This must pc ln-
Missy But mind tn chain iv circumstances Is NOT
complete. It might be one disguised as We. 30
says mesf 4 will throw this newcome, wholVer ne
is guard, be CALM him be shrange name 1e
yvuddent complimented Hinnessy, if we knew VINO
Watson is. Watson knows even less than We 90 lie
don't know anything an anything he knows is wrong
He has to look up in tn parish raygsther De-
frre he can speak himsnf. He's great frind Nv
Sherlock Holmes an Sherlock Holmes ver loses him,
he'll find tn nearest asylum FIR tn feeble minded
But surprised yeer secret out " Thrown OH We er
guard innocent question, popped out I'm Hin
Missy, a flash guessed who ye were. BE tn
process iv rasonn be deduction, can tell We that
We night in bed, that yere yeer way to
that yeer salary is two dollars day know
we were las night because ARE always az
home between ilven an Pathricks night, an
yeer wife hasn't been in lookin fr ye know yer on
yeer way to wurruk because heerd yeer dinner pan
Jingle ye stepped softly in. know We get Two DOL
lars day because We toT get three an L de-
Quoted thrty-three an wan third per clint fr poetic
IT'S very simple Are those shoes ye have on
we er feet? hivins thought So
Simple" said Mr. Hennessy scornfully; IT'S foolsn'
"Nyer mind" said Dooley. "Pass tn dope, Wat
son. Now ben' fully clybrated Chow sooey brand,
address mind to TIL discussion iv tn case iv
Dorseys dog. Watson look out Nv tn window an see
cab goin' by ringin' gong throlley carr
So much tn bether Me observation toll 1t
a balloon or a comet a raindeer. Ye ARE gr-reat
help o me- Watson. Pass tn dope. Was there Dog
on tn car? That simplifes tn thing had an 1dee
tn dog might have gone to Wurruk. He bull
arryer we say Dye know anything about his parents?
Be Muigan's Sloppy Weather out tv O'Hann1gans
Danna iv tn Slough? " Was ayether w thin
seen in tn neghborhood tn night Nv tn plant? Nor
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
-isitor made no move to take it.

visitor made to take It.
what do ye tax here for board?' he asked.
Depends what you want said the clerk.
WAL don't want We to put yerselves
for u.s. Me n Marshy haint in ways fussy. Jest
want to be put UP an something to eat Recldn Wen
want to stop bout days, till git tradin DONE
We've allus stopped to sons, but he's took up
farm an moved we've got to put at the
tarvun. We"
"The price for Is two dollars up" broke in
the clerk rather impatiently "Meals come extra. we
the European plan.
mo need to do that less want to-" the OLD
man eagerly. "Jest plain Yankee style Will
suit well any,
"We have only one way of running this house" SAID
the clerk eff you wantto stop here. please register
The old man looked pen for a little while and
then turned his wife
"What We think. Marshy? he asked
The wife stared intoyacaney with the rapt ABSORBED
look that careful New Enslanders assume on occa-
sion.
ST d. know" said she at last. What dye rhlnK
yersef?''
I d. know" said he and both meditated caiculatngy.
.eWell?'' suggested the clerk with some asperity
.nont reckin We can shave that a Letter"
old
eve have only our regular prices. Tnere's no
chance to discuss the matter" the clerk answered
crisply.
eve could git a fair rent a whole month our
xvav for that said the old mournfuy. but the
haint no two ways of it. They do stick it onto
va dretfuly here in the city. Wal. mister me n the
are nigh tuckered and through we feel jest
as though We was a-tuckin it to US Wen put up with
We"
..All right. Register. please"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
By Holman F. Day.

said the husband LES seel It says three times
for hot water. That's plain enough haint itY"
Two minutes later the down in the Of
flee commenced to ring
Pr=ring, pr-r-ring, pr-r-rfngI Pr-r-rng pr-r-r1pg
pring it sounded and again, giving the not
water call
For heavens sake. what rooms thaty' yelled tho
clerk to the bell boy VINO was standing Ing up
button.
'Nnety-two. where Jest showed the Jays" cried
the boy above the camor Of the bell.
'"They terrible fused up water ques-
ton" said the clerk boy was already half way up
stairs running like deer with spashing pitcher
hot water in his hand The clerk halfcrazed by the
noise, stood up In chair saying things rapid
succession and holding his hand the gong to dull
its sound.
The boy tore Into the room. Hiram was standing
before the electric button and his wife him.
Their eyes the card to make sure that there
mistake. Hiram was holding the washbowl
carefully under the Button with ais head turned aside
SO that the hot would not squirt in his face
His wife pushing the button with regular stroke.
Both trying their best to get hot water according
to directions
sistop that" yelled the boy heres your not wa
teri"
The old man lowered the bowl looked first at the
pitcher and then at the boy.
.ryKhyp cried Uncle Hiram with great astonshment,
ar reckoned We had water the new-fangled way IN
This ERE house Don't tell me We have ter prlns
1t IN pitcher, do ye? What's the trouple win yer
water works, anyway. We've been pusmn TINS Dut-
ton here right accordn' to the re"les anu iol q u
drop of hot wate: has come y1t.
IF the thing 1a.n't gon' way don't ye put on Sign
o of order like they do the weighin machine down
Cobb gros-ry store! -, LIT, 49,. -,
,rh,ch tbe clerk had written, Not worAAg AS ne
nailed it up the old man SAID.
.sAIe,n the woman won't put We out TO prng up any
-. Tor in the mornin'. Well Jest come right down
=. the sink an wash up Jest s soon do IT as not
an wa won't get foot greet deal-you can tell tns
Iandiady that Iof U.s.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

Cause all do jos leeft dose rein, an say IVA tong!
Aarche dawi
Wan 'nodder tam max de bat wit Peter Arctam-
beault.
HE eeve op here SOM leetle way-I gass dat yo ban
know!
Dere ban two Peter Archambeault. an wan of heems
named Jeem,
WAL witch vans Tain' Jeem-dats Pete! All,
oui, dat ees heem.
He bait wit dat boss queeck-"He jos oil pog,'
he say.
Ba gar! I pot heem de barn an geeve heem quart
of hay,
An bout wan forkful dat I TAX heem off dat
barn,
ba darn!
VIA off he gon'! geet ma bat! Dat Pete. ne shot
hees jaw,
Yo bat ma life dat HOSES trot SO SWEEP as hafpas'
faw!
I don't ban hay to beet heem vance so moch wit
straw,
Il onlee hay to leeft rein, an Click clekl
Marche daw."
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

seek the Man the Office but he felt GER
tain that when Governorship seeking him, 1t
would not have to carry Search-Lght.
AS soon the Hon. Trimmer had got we'll started
in Politics. Surgeon and had his backbone
removed He had lot of Spineess Statesmen cop
per the big while the StNecks and the Bull
Heads would Fan Out when they came before a Con-
venton had read History that Clay and Calhoun
and Webster fell down on High Ambitions because
they had too many Positive Convictions and sometimes
rubbed kittenish Voter the Of the Fur.
The Hon Mr. Trimmer resolved to be different from Clay
and Calhoun and Webster and 1t did not come nara TO
him. could have been Different without trying
He resolved never to have Opinions that would CRATE
Prejudice any Voter, white colored He was
going Everybody's Friend. So he became Hand
Shaker and a Whispering Jely-Fish. All during his
Waking Hours he a Smile that would melt Butter
He took the dusty Agrcuturst to his Bosom and tried
to plant Kiss of True Affection on the Brow OF the
Union Workingman Whenever he found himself in a
Crowd he passed Wheeling Torches that had to be
couple of times before the Match could be
Piled.
If asked to give an Opinion on airy
his Shell else got his Hind Legs and
demanded that the whole matter be referred to the
Peepul. He declared himself until the Horses
Eyes were set and all the Back Townships were in ana
then he would found in Seat No of the Red Band
Wagon doing an Obligato the Drum. He did the
Straddle until he timber Rag. He car
rfed Water on both shoulders. Every time the Wind
shifted he luffed his Sails.
His Right Hand never knew what the Left Hand
up to. Evening he would preside at an Endeavor
Meeting so to keep himself Strong with the MIX
Drinkers Early Closers. Next Evening he woua
slip and Bombard the Alcohol in order to square HIM
with the SaloonKeepers Protective Association He
knew it would mean his Ruin If the White-Ribboners
ever caught him going into Lfe-Saving Station, so
wanted to buy short line Of FuSel OH Tor the
organized Hoboes he would sneak up an Alley ana crawl
the Transonl.
In order to get better the untrammeleu
Voter he Joined the Secret Societies that are
toned the back part of the Directory He took ne"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
Mr.. poole1 as;Isherlock nolmes.

Thin it is not, NANNY might suppose,
ton. What TIL hafdtsiv Dorsey's coyote? Was
dog that dhrank? Did he go w nights? Was he
payn particular attintions amy nelgn-
bors? Was he bafied in love? ARE his
straight? Had Dorsey said anything to him thar
wud've made MIN respondent? Ye say He led
dogs e but seemed to be happy. Thin tbs plainly
a Nv suicide.
I'm gettin' up close tn criminals
v tn mad mixture. Wait till find a place
arm. There ye ARE Well. Watson what dye make
Nv it?"
IF We me, Dugan stole tn dog
mot fast" said Mr. Dooey. Like all men "
small minds make ye'ers up readily. TIL
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
UNCLE HIRAM "DowN IT, THE TARvAN.v

The city hotel clerk stood behind his desk with
pen each another in his hand and he was
posting the books during slack time"
eHeh eh-hen, ah-haw!' There the sound OF
clearing his throat alphabetically. The clerk
looked around At the desk stood placid looking old
gentleman and at his elbow his wife In their air
pathetic uncertainty that marks the aged Who
are fresh ldfashioned kitchen and strug
Cling with the strange, ways of the city.
eBe this the tarvun?" asked the old little
touch of the palsy giving his voice quaver.
''This the hotel sir, replied the clerk some
what ofy swinging the register around and sticking
penin the direction of the old mans hand But the
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
Copyright, 1901, by
Robert Howard Russell.

DORSEY an Dugan havin trouble said Hen
Messy
..wnat about?" asked Mr. Dooley.
Dorsey" said Hennessy, says Dugan stole ms oos'
They had a party at Dorseys Dorsey heerd noise
in tn back yard whit out an see Dugan maxim OH
with his bull tarryer''
aye say he see him do it,"
"Yis he see him do it..
.veu" said Mr.. Dooley, ."twud battle njinooty iv
d Sherlock Holmes"
"Whos Sherlock Holiness"
'He's tn gr-reatest defective that iver was IN
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
DAT FAs' CHEvAL.

An, om I ban de chambre maid down on dat lv'ree
stable,
.-Wark more as thirty hours wan day-som wen
ban able.
Rob down de boss an feex heem an geeve heem
nay for eat,
Dere hahn single dem boss wat evaire could
beat.
Yo talk dem two whit bosses dere-dat pair
ban black
Ah-h-h Hahn dey ban de fairs FRAT boss? 70 bat
dat ban a fac!
Eef yo'll don to wan days Wark wit amy odoer
team,
Ba gari I'll TAX dose boss FRAT dere an geeVe yo
FRAT heem.
He'll pon-Mon-n-n. gee! wy wan tam she
talks beeg lod O. wood,
II gass dey ban for cor hahn sorprise eet
should
She poll lod FRAT off down nee JOS easee as could
II tnk he poll ,.eem op heell She try dat
aw-w-w, cause!
An prattee sweet? Dat boss ees swe # as eva1re yo
could saw
Yo t'ink so wen yo' c-r-rack dat wheep an holer
'Ei- Marche daw'
Dat fodder hoss-wich wan black tink she hahn
SO str-rong
Pot wen yo' heetcn heem op ba he jos ban
along!
He DON, prap haul beeg lo'd wood-not
tree two cor,
II use dat boss SOM 'nodder ting-taint w at kip
heem for.
I tai yo' jos fas' he go:-wan tam I leeve dis
plac'
Bout two-an- a-haf tomorrow noon. Non don't max
race!
Bot steel he jogjog along, bamby, prattee
He geet on fodder plac' I go bout twelve dis after
He JOS go long dat easee way yo' evaire saw
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

But me frind whit away lawn hat an pair Guns
marked with mis- name in tn and tn polls combined
these discoveries with tn wellnown fact that Mugg1ns
was NOTORIOUS safe blower they took In Tney
found him down tn sthreet thryn to sell bushel
ket full iv Alley l. stock told We simple man.
He rallied his ambition an agaracoolchra life They
give him tn care " tn COWS at Joliet"
Did he rayform?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
mo-" said MIR. Dooley; che escaped. An tn way
got out wud battle tn injinooy tv Sherlock Holmes"
How did he do it?" asked Hennessy.
HE climbed over tn wall" said Mr. Dooley.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

mind, tn aiser it's made up Yeers is like blanket on
tn fure befure tn fire. All have to do to make 1t
is to lave it. Mine is like large double bed an afthef
I've been tossn in it, it's asy job to make it up
will puncture tire with tn favrte flower iv Chinny.
town an go We know how that tn dog did not
elope that he didn't commit suicide an that he not
kidnapped be his rayturnn parents So far good Now
I'll tell We who stole tn dog Ysterdah afternoon
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
By F. P. Dunno.

ways breaks through window goin through
an open dure an afther he's done anything that ne
thinks is communicable he to neighborn' liquor
saloon stands tn poll table an condes To
ivrybody within sound w his voice. That's way Null.
gan Is a betther defective thin Sherlock Holmes me-
He can't put two an two together no powers
Nv deduction but he's hard dhrnker an fine
Sherlock Holmes nver wudve caught frind Nv NINE
Whin tn safe Nv tn Ninth Rational Bank was bluwed.
he wud put two an two together an arristed mo,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

story book I've been r-readn' about him an if was
criminal which be if had to wurruk n IV1n'
an Sherlock Holmes got afther me- I'd go straight TO
tn station an give mesif up I'd lay tn goods on tn
desk an say Sergeant put down in tn hard cage
Sherlock Holmes has JUS seen go by in cab with
Newfoundland dog an he knows took tn spoons Ye
see he amt tn ordhny fly cop like Mulcahy that always
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

that he out for the main Plum. lie dipped into
Party Work because he believed in Honest Government
For fear that the Public would not know this he spoke
of it Il or II times every Day. But he was good and
careful Solidfy himself his Baiiwick that
when the time came he could the Delegation
his Thumb. He had heard that the ONCE should
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
By George AIDE.

with all the Flowers of English Speech touched
off the Fireworks and there stampede. The
Delegates climbed on top Of one another whoopeo,
howled broke the Furniture, frotled at Mouth ana
fell in Commissions The Reporters
ellis trying to describe the Scene After the Storm broke
the Hon. Trimmer had the Chance that a Load or
Straw has when it meets Cyclone coming In the op-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

ready to begin Trading The Slate Makers who get into
Back Room and anticipate the Wishes of the Rank and
File found that they could sderack the Claims OF
the Hon. Trimmer, he butted into the Pow-Wow. The
Game they played is called, You scratch my Back and
I'll scratch yours
The Hon. Trimmer learned that in order to keep the
Ring with him. he would herd all the Delegates
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

kind of Blistering Oath Every Night. When he got
through he had Badges enough to fill Show Window
he couldn't have thrown Brick out of Window with
without hitting Brother.
AS soon he had the Church people and the Liquor
and the Changers and the Fraernal ORDERS
and the Labor Organizations friendly to him,
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24
Copyright, 1901, by
Robert Howard Russell.

once there was a Man who had Itching to be
Governor the wanted to be the real Rinka-
boo and sit on s68 Leather Chair at the Executive
Mansion and make the Country Politicians crawl into his
presence.
The Man with the ingrowing Ambition did not let on
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-24

posite Direction ThessBoy Orator was nominated by
Acclamaton and the Veteran Party Worker him"
self In the Ash Heap for the Rule only Try
Goal.
MORAL: When a Man gets what Coming to him,
It is sometimes very Difficult to see it in
Light
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-31

knows why fange breaks train Is dtchcd lives are
iost and property destroyed tired engineer glancss
seeply over his orders. The of two stations are
alike, and he mistakes one for the other.
Within The next half hour the engineer and dozen
OF the people behind him hurled into eternity The
moist warmth OF dispatchers Office steals over the
third trick man.. 1t Is the early morning, and he
mods the key He thinks he has sent the necessary
ORDER but he hasn't perhaps he has the wrong
one More lives lost, another railroad horror. How
very. easy IT is, then, after all
But railroading in the United States, we thought.
had approXimated perfection as nearly as human hands
and human brains could bring it. The system of
watehfu untiring which every great system ex-
ereses over the human lives ntrusted to its keeping
the result of years OF work. of planning Then it all
crashes to the ground under the old, old trusm that
cham IS stronger than its weakest link"
Is there any cause for the great and increasing
number OF railroad wrecks unless it be the growth of
railroad business! Has the long period of compare
tive freedom from such disasters caused relaxation
the means employed to prevent them! Surely the
swer TO the last question be in the negative HUI
man lives sacred now as ever they WERE prop
erty just precious.
Perhaps the theory of the railroader that wrecks
come in lunches, is the only tenable They believe
wrecks are like disease epidemies They start at
end of the country and sweep through it to the other in
spite of all that be done guard against them The
api-wrecS virus has not bee discovered the quaran-
tine system is of avail 1t is to be hoped the worst
of the present epidemic Is over and that we may now
settle down to perusa of morning paper without
being compelled to glance through lists of killed and
injured in the fear that may find the name of friend
relative there.