The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1901-06-21
A QUESTION OF INTENT.
How N Subchief Obeyed His Superb
Or's Orders to the Very
Letter.

In one of the executive departments
not thousand miles from the Star
buildings young man fresh from the
plains of the southwest was appoint
ed subchief in one of the divisions,
says that Washington paper.
He had landing with
one of the clerks a few days after
his advent, and he was instructed by
his superior to discipline the clerk,
as the latter happened to be in the
wrong.
you must discipline him. Not
harshly, but sit down on him proper
ly," said the chief of division.
81 don't like to do that" replied
the Texan.
eve can't take our likes and dis
likes into consideration in govern
/ mcnt service in the administration of
our duties," advised the chief. "Give
him a gentle dressing down, and then
sit down on him quick and hard"
81 hate to do it."
"Can't help it. It's your duty. He
is in room by himself. No one will
hear or see you. 1t will be good
practice for you, as you will have to
do it often. He's a little fellow,
too"
'That's the worst of it. If he were
my size, I'd like the sport better
than branding and roping steers.
However, having been a deputy sher-
i if, l know what my duty means.
When l was told to go out and get
"a cattle rustler or bad cowboy,
[ usually got him, even if he came
back to the courthouse feet first.
You're boss, so here goes. l hate to
do it,"
Nonsense" exclaimed the chief
cts nothing. Report to me what
he said.''
About a half hour later the SUBJ
chief entered his superior's room.
His face was scratched, and his
clothing apparently somewhat rum
pied. Otherwise, his usually serious
demeanor was unchanged.
81 sat on that clerk for Is min.
utes," he said, quietly.
"What?' shouted his chief.
81 sat on him for Is minutes by
the clock. For little fellow he put
up stiff fight. l bucked him, bound
him and almost branded him from
force of habit. But it was easy"
"My God!" gasped the other man.
"You said to be gentle with him,
you know"
'Holy smoked" cried the chief
nearly fainting. "You obeyed my or
ders literally! 1 meant for you to
sit on him figuratively.'.
''You didn't say word about fig
ures," responded the ex-cowboy, sui
lenly.
81 didn't say for you to sit down
on him literally"
"You didn't say at all where I was
to sit down on him, but I sat there
all right" said the former cowpunch-
er, desperately.
mo, no, you don't understand"
said the chief, when he had recovered
his breath. "You must not take
everything in literal sense in Wash
ington. You are not chasing cows
or frontier bandits, and you mustn't
be so serious. When you are ordered
to sit down on clerk it means in
figurative sense only, and you
should give him, to be thoroughly eX-
plicit this time, good talking to
with your mouth. You mustn't actu.
ally sit on him. If this gets out, we
will be the laughing stock of the Of
flee. I must fix it up at once"
1t was ''fixed up" by sticking
patches of soothing plaster on the
little clerks wounded body and feel
ings by the positive promise of a
promotion to the next vacancy occur
ring in the division if he kept quiet.
The ex-cowboy squared himself by
treating the clerk and his chief to
lunch for fortnight. 1t was at one
of these lunches that they told a
Star man all about it, and the joke
is too good to keep.