The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-03-17
FUN or THE WORLD.


~ went into q drinking place and Joined
thirty or 50 OF his friends. Drinks flew
about rapidly, and Sharkey eaca time
took a cigar. The able seaman was much
preoccupled every >tne it was his turn
10 buy AMI he soon had all pockets
filed with perfectos. Sharkey soon be-
gar to discourse or his 4aVorire sopic Of
money. and remarked proudly that when
he got too old 70 fight he would have
enough money TO keep him the rest Of
his life.
and II you don't have the money.
you'll have enough cigars 70 start cigar
store"
The sailor overlooked the thrust. and
when the other fellows had laid out all
their spare change he turned 20 the
crowd and said. Well Joys, its nay
treat. Have cigar
And he handed each weed from his
pockets.
ggg
Senator Hoar heard one Of his coll
leagues Iavishing praise on Senator Wol-
colt Of Colorado the other day. The
Massachusetts man does not think such
q great deal Of the westerner and after
listening for time ne ventured the opin-
ion that Mr.. Ne olcott explodes ike YES
uvius, only with all the gas and none
Of the lava
Eg zE
The sons Of Erin have long labored un-
der the imputati0n Of making more
breaks with their tongues than any 81
their fellow morrals. bat from the fol-
lowing 1t would seem that the bull IS
not necessarily indigenous 10 Irish soil
IL was Freuchman who inviting 70
an acquaintance said II LETT my knife
at your Office yesterday. II you end il
please send il TO me. Yours. lie Rogue.
p S.-Since writing this I have found
my knife, 50 YOU need not trouble TO
send It,
The same individual sent a present Of
some fruit to a friend. and n the bottom
OF the basket he placed a note. the post
script 10 which read: You viii ind this
note in the bottom Of the basket. but IL
you do not, let me know Immediately"
1t was a Scotchman who said. THE
butcher in our town does such a small
business that he only has TO kill half
beef at q time"
\ German. in advertising for a lost pig
said: 1T has no earmarks except its tai}.
which is missing
A British magistrate. on being inform
ed by a vagabond that he mad no wife.
responded; Wen, that's a lucky thing
for her"
AT prayer meeting in Vermont
pious old deacon invoked a blessing on a
poor young woman whose father is a
drunkard and whose mother IS a widow"
At a negro BAH the doorkeeper on be-
ing asked what Not transferable" on
the tickets meant, replied. II means
DAT no gentleman am admitted less he
comes hisself."
Eg
The latest from ireland. A somewhat
nervous English tourist vouches for the
genuineness Of the following incident
of Irish travelling. The train arrived
some twenty minutes late at o small sta
ton, and the engine driver inquired OF
the station master Did the express go
by yet. Tim?" 1T did not" was the
answer Indeclsion on the part OF the
engine driver for a moment, when he
cheerfully exclaimed, "Ah. wen. we must
chance it" as he blew the whistle and
started OF on the single line.
g8 Xxx
Inc disregard for the prohibition law Is
understood even IN London for the
Chronicle Of that city says: The state
of Kansas has for long years been nom
inauy a prohibition state and the law
has been enforced perhaps as well as
such drastic laws can be Spirits are
allowed 10 be sold only as medicine.
and that is how the following story came
to be told. A bronzed and stalwaft cow
boy planted a two gallon Gemijohn on
the counter Of a chemists shop. "Ful
her UP" he said; "babys sick"
x E
One Of those drummers who does a
good deal of driving about the country
delights in telling about an old-time bon
face, who runs n country hotel within
a days drive Of Detroit
sharp as a tack" declares tho drum
mer Always as smooth as Oh until
some one tries 10 make a run on him and
a
in fewer words than I ever heard talk
Il saw q man come ia there one day
from the city lie is OH right at home.
but was feeling his oats his oats that
day and opened up on the old landlord
by saying Hello. grandad. get your
frame into condition. Don 8 set around
here like a bump on a log. I want &C
commodation FOR man and beast
Where's the man" asked the old
chap, in a fash"
ZEE
Beware Of how you call your physician
doc" = well-known specialist of tnis
city said. "a patient ~ mine was ia
here q few days ago 7 had done some
thing for him for which 7 could charge
any amount in reason. I had intended 10
make It reasonable. I sat the desk
with a pencil ia my hand He began 10
speak to me fsmtliarly. ADDRESSING me
as doc. Every time he doc e6 me 7
made a mark on piece ~ paper and
charged him 81 extra for each time. lie
doesn't know the cost OF his familiarity.
bat DO"
egg
After the meeting OF the stationary en-
gineers at Clevelaud on Sunday after
noon a number % the officers were coi- I
lected iu a downtown cnlce. Secretary (
~ -raa.
ming yarn when one n ere other Of
hcers put sn-
II say. Barney, r yen were q Yankee +
you would re- q pretty smart fellow
Norway turns out some II them. roc" /
said the secretary
yes. Know. but not Ike tae natural +
born American.
"Nstural-horu American or not. have 4
something which you Taakees haven't /
What's that
Papers 10 SHOW I'm an American eth I
zen
szE
,s.t has often saved On offender from 4
punishment in military a. wei &C. ln riVil +
life
Not long since a noncoma fsrioned of- 4
fcer entering barrack gate iu D1a'in /
was rnietakeu by the fresh one on sen-
try who Immediately came o. the shoai-
der
The noucorn. unaware fhat his caicnfi
was 5aTf behind. returned the Ta2ss
thing rot permissible i1 tha cifrsizsf nc-
81 Arrived at fin eaF- F shortly
received 81 order % atte-l hfre the
caiorel
On presenting himself - vsa asse1 /
how 30 came 81 refa~r eaivte krew-
irx f4I well 81 Hse rof eatf ~
Eat fn ere taet e-taTfaase-. o.
pr1rsp ftF sraHere3