The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-12-22

ianric adds this to she collection OF jokes
on newly made happy fathers:
The hero Is the manufactures IF the
wheel which the narrator sells Being
compelled 20 Eo away on a business TIP
about the zine an interesting dome site
event WAS expected. ~ left orders for IN.
nurse 70 wire him results according 70 the
following formula
II boy-'6 Gentleman safety arrived.
Il a girl" Ladies safety arrived
The fathers STATE OF mind may ec i'm
asinsd when q few DAYS later ne re-
ceived a telegram containing the one
word:
Tandem"
gz gs
Not long ago the wife II a western
Kansas politician asked him 70 lsy aside
politics long CROUCH one day 20 dix the
potatoes in the garden He agreed te T.
After digging for a few minutes n went
into The house an6 said he had found a
coin. Hc washed II OF. and 4 proved 10
be a silver quarter. He put il IN his
jeans and went hack 20 work Presently
he went 10 the house again. ana said re
had found another coin lie washed the
dirt of Il. II was a silver half dcIar.
He put 1t in his jeans 4 have worked
pretty hard. said ne 10 his Wife guess
III take a short nap. When he awoke
ne found that his wife had dug al the rest
Of the potatoes. But she found no ccins-
II then dawned upon her that she had
been worked.
gss
After-dinner speakers have a license TO
repeat chestnuts. but they ought to at
tribute then. 70 the right groves. SO n
speak. Now eN-Judge Rowland. who Is
rather happy on his feet. IS accused o.
tei'inC this aneciote 81 the ;ote Lctos
club sinner TO Joseph II. Choate;
~ a certain drawiag-roosn IN London
D guest approached Mr. Choate, who was
in the conventional dress OF The EQelisb
waiter and said. call me cab All
rient." said Mr. Choate. ii you wish a.
You're a cab
This Is the complete ruiz Of a cnce
arrusins story. alphabetically told q W.
:. Gilbert AS the author ef The Palace
OF Trust was standing on the steps cf q
London house where he had keen assisting
II q socisl function. the Bishop OF Lon
dor Eve believe II was DR.. Jackson, also
a -pcst came out and beckoninC 70 Mr..
Gilbert whom re supposed 10 ue IN duty
for that purpose. said Call me cab
my man Now the Bishop was remark
ably plain OF feature, and Ar. Suteri
replied. with pleasure. my lord NoH are
4 cab But a four-wheeier corlun
call YOU hansome. That, now, Is a
coed story.
gE gs
Henry" said Uncle Amos from lp-
creek who was visiting his CITY nephew,
who's that man IN the house on the
other size of tie street? Every morning
he stands in trent Of o winGcw on shaves
himself Hes done IL now Tor three days
hand-Tunnin-
Il suppose he has done it every morn
ms, for the last ten years, uncle replied
Henry"
HAS he lived there all that time
Yes. and longer thar that for Oh
know. I've been here only ten years
myself"
''who IS he?'
4 don't know"
What does he foller?'
II haven't the slightest idea, uncle.
Uncle Amcs put on his lat and went
out In an hour or two ne returned
Henry he said. that chaps aare IS
Horton. He runs an Insurance Office down
town. He's with about s27.9ee. Owls that
mousse au' lot. beIongs 10 the PreSbs te-
rian church. has three hoys an one girl
an he's forty-six wears old. Ne fo4ug
more about him ia an hour than YOU
have In ten years Blamed IL ! don
believe Twin in the city makes people
stupid
zsE
A now story ~ Lincoln was told - tho
recent semi-an1ual dinner Of the Della
ware Valley society OF the state ~ Ne"
York. The authsr OF the story vas the
venerable Benajst .. JAYNE. who during
most of the civil way was the personal
assistant Of Edward NJ. Stanton. the IA
mons var secretary one dav Lincoln
SOC. for JAYNE 20 come L. che white
norec. nv boy said he. there IS a
letter would ike 10 have you Took ar
Jasue picked up the letter and l'inu ii
vas from General Dix. IL conveyed ire
i,forsnafiori that several federal prisons
ere had escaped from Libby prison
with The ai6 Of Abbic Green. woman
famous during the war The letter also
aid that. az the fact - Abhie assistaiicf
YVES wei known she had been Obliged 2"
lee from Richmord. and even then was
on he. way 10 Washington ca The Tag oi
tree boat Vow. my boy. s,iid the
president u don't know what shouie
saw 10 any rascal WHO would steal ihai
letter and have "a bin passed through con-
,,rags 10 grant Sl0..1 20 the reiiei 7i ADJ
rfe Green AR. Jayne stole the letter
md the next dav both oraLches - con
a~rss uasscG the bin t. grant SN''f ~
Abhle Green Tie following
Honest Abe sent TOT 'tNi.,
tod v0u 7 didn't know what sl'iii
saw" he said with a twinkle 500 nis = q
TO the rascal who would steal thai iri-
ter and have congress act 90 ~ so"
nave -1aGo UP my mind what - Say.
YoI 90 down so - - street. g. AZ.
,is Green. take ner down - chnse ~
the treasury. and don't you Jet nes ~
until shc gets that rioney-
co., &C. g,irg the rounds Illustrating
.t. -,o.,re.- ~ sonoe reorie 70 tell r-ha.,
....... H., ,fet- n,ir.ls farmer
49, .s,tt-irr- along ono hot summer DAY
~. 80. - - i n.fgfi,ar sfeua-
$500. ....,s-.,- 81. .-.--..~t..~~,.