The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-03-01
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People.

In a city not one hundred miles from
Providence the tax assessors olsverly
succeeded In catching a would-be tax
dodger. When they went 20 look him
up and ask him how much he was
worth. he answered that IL was about
$50, 200" The assessors then found out
I'm some way that ne had recently
made a sworn statement 10 mercan-
tile agency as 10 his property 10 tho
extent OF 100000 Now he Is making
"A serious objection TO being taxed in
that amount Business men have their
troubles.
"why is It," said a patron of the
Brook street line, TO me this morn
ing, that between and 8 o'clock I'm
the morning the cars are kept so cold?
j can understand the shutting of the
heat when the ears are crowded I'm the
early morning. but there seems no ex-
cuse for doing so when only few
passengers are in the car" Now, who
can answer this question?
@3@
was talking with a Flippant Young
Person this morning, and she said:
did you hear the famous pianist last
evening"" [ admitted that did not.
We'll" she said, ''he is we'll named.
lie is a regular bower and I'm fact
bowed at every possible opportunity.
He is also a great Bauer both ply
sically and as a pianist" Such talk
is, of course, reprehensible. and l told
her so, but being a Flippant Young
Person she only smiled. and said:
You're too dense 10 see the joke"
600
A night or two ago. n well dressed
man. who had looked upon. and. In
fact, imbibed several kinds of fluids,
walked into a downtown saloon at "A
late hour, walked unsteadily up to the
bar, bearing large black and white
cat i'm his arms The cat was quietly
purrlng away. seemingly unconscious
OF her strange position. Found i'm
i'm streetsh Goo cat. Take him home
m wife" And he turned and stag
gered away with his burdens OF cat
and Sag"
"Say," remarked the Cheerful idiot,
this morning, why isn't this a good
time to go gunning7' ! replied that
had no objection, but was curious
20 know what he would gun for
"Why. March hares. of course" he
replied. with one of his exasperating
grins.
am told that the other evening in
one OF the local theatres a gentleman
who was much disturbed because of
the encore fiend I'm front of him. tapped
him gently on the shoulder and said:
ALLOW me 90 presen, you" he said
handing the applauder a small paper
package. What does this mean, sir?"
asked the recipient, wrathfully, as he
opened the paper and found 81 In
small change 1T means this" re-
piled the disturbed gentleman. II
have observed your earnest efforts 10
have everything twice. Therefore. L
have taken up this small collection In
order that you may come again to-
morrow evening. instead OF trying to
get your two performances In one
evening" This may be true or may
not be, as my informant is somewhat
of a Joker. but it is good story, Just
the same.
According TO what hear from New
mort. not even Chesterfield In the
United states navy or elsewhere could
have conducted himself i'm better form
that Gunner Morgan since the facts
as TO his treatment have come out.
IL looks as IL 1.-THE man behind the
gun" was going to get there with
both feet"
Geo
hear that n South Providence man
saws that he has seen the new star
which has been occupying so much at
tention from the astronomers, but he
also makes the somewhat remarkable
statement that he doesn't know which
one A. IL. guess that. I'm the same
way, | must have seen ~, too.
Rudyard Kipling. who IL undcubted-
~ an authority. says that nobody
under ~ years Of age can write a
great novel May he so. but i know
a lot Of people over 10 years old who
cannot write any kind Of novel
5hs Gossio.
Burdock Blood pit;ers gives q man
a.