The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-06-14
CONDOLENCES OF A WAITER.
TALE oF WOE OF GARCON IN a
SWELL BROAD STREET CAFE.

Why He Feels Like QuittinG-Makes
Big Money, but Tires of the Airs
and Fads of Customers, and Tells
His Troubles to One of Them.
From the Philadelphia Record.
The laxative waiter was unburdening
his mind of many things. 1t was in the
middle of the afternoon, and the fash
ionable cafe-not to he too explicit, this
cafe has a frontage on Broad street
was practically empty. A regular Gus
toner was dawdline over late lunch.
The buzzing of a blue bottle fly against
an upper window pane occasionally pune
tuated the conversation of the laxative
waiter. The regular customer at the
table cast furtive glances out of the
window into Broad street and pretended
TO be bored. This attitude was pretense.
pure and simple, for it is a very unusual
thing to encounter laxative waiter IN
a fashionable cafe.
But then this particular waiter knew
the regular customer-had known him
for a iong while-and surely there was
no harm in a few condolences when things
were slack of a warm afternoon, and
Edouard, the ever watchful was taking
his siesta So the waiter talked and
talked and talked, and the regular Gus
toner pretended to be ineffably bored.
but was really very much interested. OF
course. he couldn't show this. We all
understand that.
Why He Feels Like Quitting.
cYtftt he
business altogether and buying a little
place out in the country" said the wait
er, as he brought the salad and paced
the various ingredients where the regu-
lar customer could reach them when he
was ready to mix the dressing, as was
his won't Il could raise poultry OF gar
den truck and make nice living for my
self and my family without always being
rubbed the wrong way. That's the worst
thing about being a waiter you're al
ways being rubbed the wrong way.
i've got my eye on a little place down
Jersey that l can buy clear for $500.
Oh, yes. sir; 1 can easily afford it. I've
been here for over twelve years, sir
and, if do say it myself, l think could
buy and sell a lot of people who come
in here with their lordly airs and treat
me as the dirt beneath their feet Beg
pardon. sir No offense intended, sir.
spoke hastily. There are gentlemen and
gentlemen.
"French,' but Kensington Born.
But / can't help feeling-even a waiter
is human, sir-that there are times when
! should rise superior to my occupation.
have a fairly good education, with
enough of French to carry me through.
We are ell supposed to be either French
~ n wa 81 |
up IN Kensington, My father was an
Enel'shman. a carpetweaver, from Kid
de. minister. and my mother was of French
oesce Mt. I've never been very far from
Philadelphia in my life, but when some
C these vulgarly rich people have been
abroad say: Gimme some o them there
sweetbreads en- brochetty,' / naturally
feel like throwing up my job. The Oil?
Yes, sir there it is at your elbow sir.
But it's the cheap young man who
wants to put up big front that gives me
the severest pain in the solar plexus, if
YOU will pardon my slang, sir. Oh, ne is
the limit. If he is ever found foully mur-
dered some night in a dark alley with
his head beaten to a pulp that resembles
ca,ves-foot jelly, you can put it down on
the slate as the work of the Walters
Union.
Cheap Young Mans Big Tip.
He usually makes about $l5 a week.
and Oh Saturday night he blows it all on
his best girl. AT first sight you would
thidk that she didn't deserve it, but af-
ter they have been in a couple of times
YOU change your mind. 1t isn't that you
wish her any good luck; but you feel that
the worst that's coming to him isn't lad
enough. You even hope they will get mar
riCo.
But here's the funny part of it. He
alwsys gives a generous tip. 1t seems
like robbery to take it, but what can you
do? He wants to put up a good front,
and he's always good for a dollar on the
side. That's part of his dazzling game.
Then ne goes and feeds himself at a 15-
cent restaurant the rest of the week. DO
you wonder hate to take his money!"
Tips? Oh, yes, sir; tips constitute out
principal source of income. It's a poor
week when l don't take in $50 above my
salary. I've taken as high as $3.50
week, but that was due TO an unusual
run of-ah, DRINKS. sir, if you will par
don the expression. When the wine IS
in the wit is out. you know sir.
No, we don't depend upon the rich for
our pickings As a rule l have discover
ed that the rich man is close and the
poor man is lavish. That is perhaps the
reason why the rich man stays rich and
the poor man stays poor. In place like
this, where there is more or less gossip
poAA dpuNc anu DelON stairs, We can
very well help getting to know all about
the people who make a practice of com
Ing here, and we get to know their cir
cumstances pretty well. l have often
taken a l0-cent tip from millionaires and
s. tip from men who didn't know where
the next five was to come from. OF course.
these are extreme cases. but the rule gen
orally holds good in the long run.
The Mean Customers Ruse.
There's one man who occasionally
comes here with the young woman to
whom he is engaged-you see we know
all the talk Of the town-who manages
10 get out Of a tip by having a QUAR- i
with the waiter. We do our best to dis
courage him from coming here. That is
one of the tricks OF the business. but It
doesn't work with him. although it does
with most people who are not thickskin-
ned. This man is, very. We can't drive
him away. He always finds fault with
something and makes that an excuse for
not giving tip He usually waits until
the coffee is served. and then he makes
Kick because it is too weak He frowns
severely and SAYS: How mauy times
must tell you that my coffee must be
stronger? This isn't fit to drink, and Jus,
for that you get no tip; not a sour