New-York tribune., 1901-02-24

What Is the chief food OF the people Of Inda?''
asked a teacher in a London school the other day.
Famine" promptly answered little girl. who had
apparently been reading the papers.
The smart. clean well dressed boy gazed long
ingly at the gutter urchins. with their damp
bundles OF newspapers and matches This activity
and independence had unspeakable charm for
him. and after severe inward struggle he left his
doorway and sought one OF the muddy little news
''Do you think" he asked. that should be able
20 earn money you DO II I bought some papers
what does the likes o You want seIIin' papersT'
I'm I'm tred Of being idle at home .,..- .,,,,-
Persimmon lick three or four boys bigger'n your
self with one hand. while ver Keeps two more orr
with yer feet, while yer takes toh's hapenny an
Moo I DON'T" replied the well dressed little
the raFrsd q boy You'd better get Yer people 10
prentice yer to something easy.'-(Tit Bits.
Or. Jesse c. Green, OF West Chester Penn.
elghty-four years old. is said TO be the Oldest
tive wheeIman IN the country.
Once on time two Bullheaded Asses met
Plank that Bridged Nawning Chasm:
Back out. Daffy." said the first ASS and let
Nay" said the second ASS; I'VE will play a
game OF Euchre decide who has the Right Of
What do you do asked the first ASS, as he
turned Trump and looked at his hand .o,o.,
ASS. throwing down his cards and pushins the
Moral: Never go against Another Mans Game.
-Uudmnapolts sun
Archbishop Temple. of Canterbury. began hts
career as a Bishop the biggest episcopal throne
In Europe. 1t is at the Exeter Cathedral Com
posed OF the very best oak. with magnificent carv-
ing; executed ~ the most expert designers OF the
day. the throne scars upward IN beautiful taperng
pinnacIes. which rise Up the lofty roof of the
sacred edihce The throne is not only the biggest.
but Of the oldest. II was saved from destruc-
tion by the PuritIns by the ingenuity OF the Cava-
uers Who when the Roundheads marched on Ex-
eter pulled down the throne and divided il into 565
pieces-one for every day OF the year. The pieces
were safely secured in many hiding places and
when peace was restored the pieces were put
gether again without the aid Of a single nail
The old man seems nightly pleased with him
self said Mr. Grtndners e32Ghm3n
SURE" said the cook He's been saving all
his burned matches for six months. and this morn
kitchen dre with. h.'-Qndianapolis Press
An English paper says that In a remote corner Of
England there existed parish which had been In
the hands Of one family for generations. One Sun
Gay neighboring clergyman was invited to preach.
and after the service he remarked 10 the vicar.
whose hearing had been bad for many years: why
does your clerk in the Te Deum say Thou the
Queen of Glory. o Christi The vicar replied he
had never, owing to his deafness, heard the clerk
On the clerk being asked for an explanation he
replied that the death of William ~ the wears
Tor king wherever it appeared In the Prayerbook.
Should there be any other cases of this kind, the
perpetuated error will now be corrected by the In
struction to say king once
The Boss-Mr. Bionson II you can't keep up
with your work better. we shall have TO look for
another
Bjoqson-Im glad to hear that I've been think
ing all along that l doing enough work for
two.-Undtarapolis Press,
a sensitive Scot rebukes THE London Daily
Chronicle for saying that his countrymen pro-
uounce mon" The absurd form mon
he writes lis the hallmark of Scots vernacular
written by a southern pen. and It's intrusion
has often lent additional sadness comic Journal
ism, even. alas 10 the pages OF chief humorous
periodical In the North OF England 'mon'
tainly occurs; in Scottish speech never. In Scott
and Stevenson one may look for II IN vain. The
broad. soft vocallzs tion OF the word in Lothian
dialect lies somewhere between 'naun' and 'maan'
but as II cannot be literally symbolIzed the word
should be spelt In dialect passages simply as In
English
HE JESTS AT SCARS. ETC.
Yes" the old beech tree sighed.
Il know I'm easy mark
Lovers for ages have carved their names
Deep IN my yielding bark