The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-08-24
Published by Special Arrangement
THE POLICEWOMEN
By w. L. ALDEN
copyright. 1901, by W. l.. Alden.l

and III IL ndSn I Deen dilObelNtI what ~
might call a hrst-class success It has been
lots OF fun for the boys. Some folks say
that women haven't any sense of humor.
Perhaps they haven't and then again per-
haps they have. Anyhow. when a woman
tries to make out that she is a man ana Is
entitled to chew tobacco and enlist for a
soldier she can furnish the public with more
soIid and satisfactory amusement than a
wisole wagon load of monkeys with their
tails painted sky blue.
/ forget Just I'm what year II was hat the
State OF wyoming gave women the right to
vote at all elections. That doesn't matter
however. I was living at the time in the
town of New Jerichoville. and when we got
the news that woman suffrage was a fact
and not a Joke we were as pleased as If 1t
had been discovered that New Jerichoville
was built on a gold reef. Nobody thought
that woman suffrage was a thing that
would last more than twelve months. but
we all agreed that 1t would be full of
healthy and improving amusement.
That, OF course. was the opinion of the
men. The women took the thing seriously
and they lost no time in getting up a pro-
cession to celebrate the emancipation of
their sex. They had banners and music
until you couldn't rest, and the procession
marched on the sidewalk instead of the
middle of the street because the women
didn't want to get their clothes dusty.
They held a big meeting in he town hall
and Miss Twitchell, who had been for years
the leader of the woman's rights movement.
made an eloquent speech in which she said
that emancipation was derived from the
Latin &c" which meant FROM" the En-
glish word man." which meant man.,
and the Greek word "cipation." which
meant freedom" Consequently emancipa-
ton meant nothing less than freedom from
the tyranny of man, and the new law
granting women the right to vote had at
last made them independent of the monster
man. The speech was greeted with the
loudest of cheers and the waving of fans
and parasoIs, and If 1t had not been that
Miss Twitchelps back hair accidentally
fetched loose she would probably have kept
on speaking all night.
The next week we had a municipal cleo
ton and the women had a full set of female
candidates. enough to fill all the offices.
There were more men than women in the
town and we could easily have defeated the
women's ticket. but We all wanted to see
what the women could do If they had the
government of the town in their hands, so
we Just stayed from the polls and let the
women carry the election. That made them
everlastingly satisfied with themselves and
they all said that the men had been beaten
fairly and squarely and never again would
the town of New J~erichoville be misgov-
erned By coarse and wicked men.
The new mayor was Miss Twitchell. The
were all married women. and
the councilwomen, which, you understand,
constituted ths lower legislative body, were
all unmarried women, most of them being
pretty we'll on In years, although there
were two or three rather young and pretty
girls among them. The police judges were
partly married and partly single women;
the chief OF police was a grin old maid,
and the prosecuting attorney was a hand
some young woman OF about twenty-five,
by the name OF Miss Wilkins, who got the
position because she was the only woman
I'm the town who had studied law. AS for
the judges of the higher courts, they were
all men, for their term of office had not run
out, and the women could not turn them
out until the next state election. However,
as you understand from what L have said,
the town was practically in the hands of
the wonen, and about all the male judges
could do was to overrule any illegal judg-
ment that the police Judge might pro-
nounce, provided an appeal was made to
the higher courts.
1t was a great sight to see the first pa
rade of the new female police force, for one
OF the first things the women did was to
turn out all the old policemen, on the
ground that they were Irishmen. or else
were addicted TO either whisky or tobacco.
Their places were filled with women of all
ages and varieties. and some of them were
among the prettiest and most fashionable
girls in town. You see, the police were to
wear an attractive uniform. and the duty
OF patrolling the streets gave them so many
opportunities for showing ii of. that there
was a rush OF applicants for appointment
on the force. IL being summer. the police
wore short skirts. cut pretty short, blue
sleeveless jackets and white helmets with
artificial flowers round the base. and a
small stuffed yellow bird ON the top. They
did not carry revolvers, like the old police
men, but each one carried a handsome
light ebony club, tied with blue ribbons and
engraved with the wearer's monogram. 1
tell you the parade was a big success, and
the boys swore they would all do some
thing to get themselves arrested at the
earliest possible moment.
For the first week or fortnight the police
had very little TO do; for the men. while
they thought il would be fun to be arrested
by pretty girls, also felt, when IL came TO
the point. that they really didn't have the
cheek 10 Inconvenience the lady police by
getting drunk or acting disorderly. OF
course the professional drunkards and the
tramps didn't take this view OF the matter.
but. as a general rule. they escaped arrest
because the police couldn't bring them
selves TO touch a man who was particularly
ragged or remarkably dirty. The officer
who used TO do patrol duty I'm my street
during the afternoon was Connie Smith-a
very pretty girl of about twenty-three
whom / had known ever since she was a
baby. / said 10 her one day, when she
stood looking at "A shop window full of
bonnets, while a drunken tramp lay on the
pavement on the opposite side of the street:
why don't you arrest that fellow and
take him TO the lock-up?" Don't be ridic-
ulous!" says she. You can see for yourself
that no lady could bring herself to touch
such an awfully dirty object" With that
she walked on towards the next corner
with her head in the air. pretending not 70
see the drunken man. just as a male po-
Iceman pretends not TO see a fight between
two men who are too big for him TO handle.
Nc EO0n fnrTn6 ont FI.v