davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
THE FR.GoT'S UMBRELLA,
It Was q Profound Mystery to il
 OId-Time HibNrn;

It Was q Profound Mystery to the
 Oid-Time Hibernian.
 Old Mike and his wife lived in a lift. tie cabin on the mountain-one of a type which is happily every day becom- ing more and more rare The walls were of mud, and the floor of the same useful material, with a gutter running down the middle to divide the family apartment from that of the domestic animals. To this mansion came his rev erence one cold, shOwery morning in March to hold a station. His umbrella was wet and dripping, so, being a care ful man, he placed it, open, in the space vacated by the animals, who were grazing outside. After the usual devo- tiOns, when the congregation had dis perSed, he went for a stroll, while MOira prepared his breakfast, for to en- certain his reverence afterward is the crOwning honor of a station. He had not gone far when heavy shower Ob- liged him to take shelter under tree and send little gossoOn running back for his umbrella.
 His reverence is afther sending me to bring his Ombrell!' said the boy, bursting into the cabin.
 ''The saints preserve usw said Mike. Maybe it's the thing he lift beyant in the cOrner," and, seizing the umbrella, he tried to pass through the door, but the entrance was low and narrow and the umbrella large and wide. With out moments hesitation he caught up a spade and began shOveling down the wall at either side of the door.
 Man alive" said the priest, appear ing on the scene, whatever are ye at?"
 'Shure, it's maxim way am for yer Ombrell," said old Mike; ''divil bit of it'll go through, at all, at all."
 "Ah, nonsense, manr' said his rever- ence, laughing, and, stepping inside, he took the umbrella out of MOira's hand and closed it before them.
 Old Mike stared at it aghast. Then he turned to his wife. Glory be to God, Moira!" he said, ''is there any thing beyant the power of the priest?'' These old people belonged to a genera ion which is fast passing away, and to which the succeeding one bears but lit ,le resemblance.-Churchill.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

red to him that the two instruments might be combined. MT. Lundgren has exhibited his invention to only a few friends and a Chicago American re porter, but as soon as possible he eX- poets to have it placed on the market. The violin-horn is played like the vio- lin, but it's music is said to be more melodious.
 MT. Lundgren is also an artist of no mean ability. He was born in Dalarne province, Sweden, June f, 1860, and came to the United States in 1880. He acquired his talent in Sweden and was for many years a close personal friend of finders Zorn, the famous Swedish painter, who is at present in the Unit ed States.
 The walls of Mir. Lundgren's cOzy home in Pullman are covered with beautiful paintings and wood carvings, all works of his own hand.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

'I am no longer young" said an Alaska pioneer the other day, "but l expect to live to see a continuous line of railway from New York to St. Pc tersburg by way of Boring Strait. In fact, work on one of the connecting links will be begun within year." The line he referred to will extend from Port Valdez on the sea to the Yukon river at the mouth of the Panama. From this point another road is project ed to Nome, and if that should be built, a railway across the strait to Siberia might become at least a possibility. If expanding trade should demand such a road, neither the engineering nor the financial difficulties would be insur mountable. It is an interesting thing to speculate about, at any rate.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Curious Church Built of Ru,rusbes

The first place of worship in Western Australia was quite unique both from its frail form of construction and also the several purposes to which it was devoted. This remarkable building was made at Perth, then merely a town site, by soldiers of the 2nd Company 63rd Regiment shortly after the de tachment arrived at the Colony in 1929, and was composed almost entire ly of bulrushes. In addition to this rude little edifice being used on Sun days for Divine worship, it sometimes served as an amateur theater during the week. and was used during the whole time as barracks.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

It is not only the rural resident from up the creek that buys gold bricks. Sometimes important sales of this sort of merchandise are made to wise ones who dwell in cities. 4 certain "pro- lessor" of fortune telling appears to have done particularly neat piece of gOld-brick work in an Eastern city. He has been telling some of the social lights of that town that his insight into the future would be wonderfully sbarn- ened if he were allowed to sleep over night on jewelry belonging to his eli ents. He intimated that the larger tho quantity of precious metal he had to sleep on, the better he could forecast future events. One of his clients WAS the wife of a well-known manufac- turer, who willingly gave up her jew elry and what gold coin she had in the house. The next day the professor had left town. His inspection of the future was perfectly satisfactory to him.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
A cooking school for doctors has bee

A cooking school for doctors has been established in Berlin, and among the numerous attendants are physicians from several countries besides Ger many. Branch schools are to be open ed in other European capitals. The medical man needs to be good nurse. He ought to be able to apply the prin- clples of wholesome cooking likewise, if need be, in preparing delicacies for the sick room. A supervision by the doctor, himself competent to cook what he orders for the patient, would turn many kitchen into a serviceable addi- ton to his equipment.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
as never before, the two accomplish ments walk hand in hand.

The notifying influence of death. which is so often felt in private family relations has been manifested on a large scale, internationally, since the death of Queen Victoria. The English people have been often irritated by the German Kaiser. His commercial and naval schemes have seemed to them to be aimed against England. His message of sympathy to President Kruger, after the Jameson raid, still rankles in their memory, and more than once they have taken offense at some impulsive thing which he has said or dOre. But when, as soon as he knew that the Queen was seriously ill, he left the scene of the festivities with which the Prussian bicentenary had just been celebrated, and hurried to the death-chamber at Osborne, they were profoundly moved; all the more so because he waived official formali- ties, and joined the waiting family group simply as the grandson of the Queen. The same influence was felt elsewhere. There was no discordant note in the worldwide expression of sympathy. The French and Russian journals, which are apt to be critical. if not hostile, toward England, joined in the tributes to the Queen. American journals were as cordial as if there never had been any Alabama claims or Venezuela difficulty or Alaskan bound ary or other veXatiOus question be- tween the two countries. Under the reciprocal kindliness thus induced. English journals began to suggest that perhaps too much had been made of annoying amendments to the Hay PauncefOte treaty, and that it might be well to cOncede to the United States the disputed points. So it came to pass that the good Queen, who has all her fife striven for peace, in her death ex- erted strong influence in the same di- rection.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
COMBINES THE HORN
 AND VIOLIN IN ONE.

With the beginning of the new cen tury. new musical instrument-tlecid- edly twentieth century idea"-has been brought into existence. This is a combination violin and horn, not yet christened. It may appropriately be called a violo-horn.
 Alex Lundgren, the inventor, has for twenty years been employed in the marQueterie department of the Pull man car works at Pullman. III.
 All his spare time he has spent in making violins and other musical in struments. One. evening while listen ing to a violin and horn duet it occur
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

'I would joyfully, many a time," said a famous singer the other day, "eX- change all my public ovations for my mothers knowledge how to prepare q palatable meal" Nevertheless, so fashionable have culinary and house hold subjects become. that my moth CTS pies" lave formidable rivals in ''my daughters dOughnuts." Even col legiate straws show which way the wind blows. Themes recently chosen for senior theses in several leading women's colleges include ''The Ser want Problem" ''Household Econom- ics" and Foods in Relation to Intel leek and Sanity" and stand ill marked contrast with the poetic and platitudin- ous graduating essays of only a genera ton ago. To be "a good housekeeper," said Shakespeare, ''goes as fairly as to say =. great scholar" To-day,
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Massage for Anon,exy.

The medical profession recognizes to- day as it has never done before the re- markable aid of massage. It has done marvellous things for paralysis, even for apoplexy, at which doctors once looked on helplessly. Apoplexy is caused by a clot of blood on the brain, and if that clOt can be broken up, if an emptying can be effected of clogged veins, recovery is in sight. Constant massage of the forehead and skull will do it (this has been proved over and over again), while paralyzed limbs, by patient, constant kneading, can have new life rubbed into them.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
A Good Vacation

Many of the enjOyments of life may be considered as merely negative-en- jOyments by contrast.
 Professor Harrimore, sorely against his will, and in compliance with = mandate of his physician, went av,,z from home for six weeks vacaU G
 Did you have good timeY askS one of his friends, after his return.
 "Splendid," replied the profess although didn't know it until ca back. Then I learned that my nearest neighbOr had occupied his entire time during the last six weeks in learning to play the trombone"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

A Vanderbilt descendant has proved capable of something more than spend ing ancestral money. It may yet be fashionable for hereditary American wealth to have brains and disposition to use them. Young COrneePs" fireboX shows some inventive power beyond the mere talent of devising new dissi- nation.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Can't Last Forever.

Hopely-"What seems to trouble your baby?"
 POpley (wearilyl-'I suppose it trou- bles him to Tkink that eventually hell have to go to sleep at night. t."-Philadel- Dhia Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

A woman whose husband beat her regularly once a day for forty years iras at last appealed to the police. 1t Deems that there was a point where even a patient, loving woman could stand it no longer and the head of the household tried 1t once too often when he started to take his daily exercise on the first day of the forty-frst year.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Tim Mulcahy's New Crop of Hair.

Timothy J. Mulcahy, an engineer in Cleveland tannery, had been bald for years. Suddenly little furze began to sprOut on his head and a few weeks later his cranium was covered with a thick but short growth of hair. A doc tor investigated the matter and learned that he had been working under a re volving belt. His hair had been sprout ed by electricity.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Caused Bridget to RefIect

Bashful lover(timidly)-Did yeer iyer think of marvin, Biddy?
 Biddy (cOyly)-Shure, now, tn sub Ject has niver entered me thoughts.
 Bashful lover Burning away)-Its sorry Oi am.
 Biddy (hastily)-Wan mint, Pat. We've set me t'inkin'.-Harper's Ba- Z1r
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Ingenious.

An invention for polishing hard wood floors has been brought out in Europe. This new idea consists of a brush. call ed the sandal brush. which is made to fit on the shoe. It is fastened to the foot by straps of soft material. The polisher skates over the floor and is thus enabled to do his work better and quicker than by any other process.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Not There.

A farmer once wrote to a distinguish, ed scientific agriculturalist, to whom he felt under obligation for introducine a new variety of swine:-
 Respected Sir:-I went yesterday to the cattle fair; l found several pigs of your species. There was great varie. ty of beasts, and was very much as. tOnished at not seeing you there"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Love in a Cottage

''Will you be satisfied with love in a cOttageY' he asked.
 "Yes," she replied, confidently, for she had heard that the cottage was located at Newport-Philadelphia Rec ord.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Emperor William may import the American hen to Germany, but will the time ever come when the politics of that country will permit of our election rOosters appearing in the public prints fhprp2
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Small HOrseshoes.

HOrSeshOes weighing an ounce each and just a tritie larger than silver dollar were turned out in a California shop recently. They were made for a Shetland pony months old, and small for its age.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Foundation of China

The population of China used to be estimated at 4OO,OOO,OOO and upward. Estimates made by careful travellers in late years put it much lOwer-about 2OO,OOOOOO.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Only 6,356 new books were published in the United States last year. How ever, people vainly looking for some thing new to read can always fall back on the magazines and newspapers.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
No Chanca fn TnIL

Black-Mumsey is not a good eOnver, satiOnalist.
 White-No, he was the only boy in Q family of nine children-CleveIauI Leader.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Manila harbor is to be improved, though it is admitted that it is much less dangerous than when Admiral Dewey sailed into it the first time.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

As to the lash for wife beater, why not tie him up securely and let the in- jured wife give him a good tongue lash ing in the presence of all the neigh bors?
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Her Triumph,

"She seems so happy. Did she marry him for love or for mOneyT'
 Neither. She took him to spite 3 lot of other girls. ."-ChicagO Times Herald.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
We'll. WeIIl

"Old Crouch went to the masquerade the other night disguised as bear.' Did anyone recognize himY' Nobody but his wife. ."-DetrOit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
The UnconquerabIe.

''Why don't you discourage him if you don't care for him?'
 "Oh, he won't be discouraged. He is really in love-"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Wise Rird

"Give us proof of your bOasted wisdom," cried a lot of chattering magpies to the owl.
 T will," he said, and flew away Philadelphia Times.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

A woman has brought suit for di- vorce on the ground that her husband refuses to eat her pies. Still, she would rather be a real widow by the pie rO1fa
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Some men use Sunday as sort or sponge to wipe out the sins they con- mitted during the previous six days.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

"Kidnapers are bound to be caught in the long run," says the Boston Her ald. Let's see-when were the kidnap- CTS of Charley Ross caught?
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Pensions i'm New EngIand.

At the beginning of the new century there were 57,OO0 army and navy pen siOners in New England drawing their pay through the agency in Boston.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

In the last hundred years Turkey has lost about half of its territory. This looks as if somebody had been using the Ottoman to walk on.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

The powers want to make progress in the Flowery Kingdom, and this de- capitation business is supposed to be one way of getting a head.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Among other things, has Mrs. Nation smashed that old prOverb about its be- ing dangerous to fool with edged tools?
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

A woman gets up good meal for the preacher, but she eclipses all effcrts when her husband brings a former lover home to dine, in order that She may show him what he missed.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Another Chance.

Susan-I just hate these eOnundrum fiendS.
 Kitty-Indeed! Why?
 Susan-Because the other evening MT. Stubbins asked me ''Wi1 you be my wife?' and when 1 said '-Yes," he said he would give me another guess Detroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

It Is a terrible shock, but the truth is that our mothers and fathers married their ideals.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Characteristics.

''WOman has no sense of humOrS ''No; but she seems to have an awful sense of being humOred."
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Yes, as the cadence loudly swings From off the wOodshed, windows raise And neighbors hurl all sorts of things Unheeded-boOtjacks are bouquets
 When Thomas sings!
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Don't talk at rancom. Make every thing you say hit the mark or save your ammunition.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

"By gum! ef the women in ther city ain't so bold an braZen that CT modest one hez ter hang out CT sign tellin' CT bout it.''
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

It is far better to have large feet than small understanding.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Eye1ino It Un.

"They have a new barber shop in Baltimore where every feature is run on antiseptic principles"
 It's a pity they cannot carry it to the point where some of the patrons could be treated to an antiseptic bath before entering the place.''-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

When the rainy day saved for finally comes, a man finds that it is a deluge whereas he only saved for a shower.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Correct, if Not Grammatical.

NOtISCtJ m 4NOI Ura Tn matlcaIs
 Johnny-Pa, Aunt Hannah says bOfIs are healthy. Shouldn't she say .health- fuIY'
 Wise Father-Well, your aunt didn't mean to be grammatical, but I guess she was this time. It is the boil that is healthy, not the fellow who carries 1t around.-BOston Transcript.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Every thief causes a lot of honest men to be suspected unjustly.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Mir. Tattered Hedges -HOwdy. Bill, whatcher think of me new Raglan OvercOat?
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
When Thomas Sings.
goes on.

Beneath the moons bewitching rays, His voice it scars, as it had wings, And many a list'ner guerdon pays,
 When Thomas sings.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25

Advice to heroes and statesmen: When about to write letter, don't.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
He Wac Oua

Snappy-That's what jars me.
 Sappey-What's that?
 Snappy-Oh, some people are never satisfied to take things as they are. put always want to know the why and wherefore.
 Sappey-That's so. I wonder why it is.-Philadelphia Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-05-25
Present Needs.

'Yes, that's a beautifully bound book of your sermons, Mir. Straitlace. We'll, no, George hasn't read it yet. He only has time to read at night, you know. Yes, he understands it's for the saving of souls. But George is so practical He thought he'd rather save his eyes frst."-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1901-08-29
WHAT WOMEN LIKE IN MEN.
Appear Well When I'm
Society.

The casual everyday accomplish
ments of a man have much to do
with women's liking; and first of all
comes savior faire, says writer in
the Cosmopolitan. He may or may
not be what is rather vulgarly de-
scribed as "a society man." yet he
must understand and be familiar
with the myriad little usages that
form society's unwritten law. To be
at ease in any set, to be equal to
emergencies, to carry off an awkward
situation with urbanity and perfect
self-possession-this faculty wins I'M
stinted admiration from a woman.
And then there are the things that
go with this knowledge of the prop
er thing to do, the little courtesies,
the delicate and tactful attentions
that mean anything and nothing, the
ability to order a dinner properly, to
make things go off smoothly, to car
ry out a plan without blunder or
jar, the carriage ready at the proper
moment, the flowers specially ar
ranged, the right seats at the the
alter, everything foreseen, every pos
sible occurrence provided for, every
want anticipated, every contretemps
avoided.
These are all unimportant in them
selves, yet in the mass they never
fail to create a strong impression in
woman; for a woman hates
blunders and will trust man in
great things if she sees that he has
genius for making small things go
off well.
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1901-08-29
PROFIT IN GOOD CENTS.
Counterfeiters Run Little Risk and
Make Good Margin on Cen
uinc Coins.

To pass a counterfeit $1,000 bill is
an extremely difficult undertaking,
because the very size of it invites close
but counterfeit cents will
pass about as fast as you hand them
out, even in banks, under the eyes of
experts, for their insignificant size dis
arms suspicion. This fact is being
very strongly impressed on the Off
GERS of the national subtreasury, who
are now in receipt of an immense num-
Der of these humble little counter
feits, says the Chicago Tribune.
About 500 of these little bogus coins
are arriving at the subtreasury daily,
and the April report shows that IS, 16S
counterfeit cents were received out
Of total of 1913, $40; yet the secret
service men are not able to locate the
counterfeiters. 1t is found that the
counterfeit cents are growing more
and more like the genuine ones, as
practice is making perfect, and it is
often with difficulty that they are dis
tingushed.
4 strange feature of the business is
that the bogus cents are intrinsically
worth as much as the genuine ones
They have the right quantity and
1uality of metal in them, bear the
proper image and superscription, and
vet represent only II cents, in value
to the pound, while a pound of similar
coins, struck at the United States
mint. are legal tender for $1.20. The
margin makes profit enough to invite
,ounterfeiting
Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1901-08-29
HIGHLY CIVILIZED ANCIENTS.
Contents OF Long Buried TOmbs Show
Fine Work of Early
Artisans.

The middle-aged man who has ex-
plored life to WEAKNESS and whom nov
els will no longer stir may find his
sense of mystery and wonder excited
anew by the account of discoveries in
buried Egypt, says the London Out
look. Prof. Flinders Petrie, who has
devoted his life to exploration of the
soil and research into the history OF
that ancient land, completed last week
series of highly instructive lectures
at the Royal institution. Long-buried
tombs of ancient kings have been dis
covered and explored, and. although in
neatly all cases these have been pre-
viously pillaged in the Roman age,
enough of the contents remain I'M
broken or overlooked till now to afford
ground for reconstructing, in outline
at least, a wonderful and unsupported
civilization. When we are shown, for
example, specimens of goldsmith
work dating from 4,750 years before
the Christian era, which have never
been surpassed since in technical skill,
working of designs, variety of form
and perfection of soldering, we are
sobered somewhat in our belief that
the process of time means progress
and that the present is the best and
noblest era of civilization. We are
proud, for instance, of the products
of modern steam spinning and weav-
Ing. Yet the linen woven 5000 years
ago was finer in thread and closer in
web than our finest cambria.