The Washington times., 1901-10-27

zens so much IL 1t had not been the rule
tnat the very prisoners whose incarcera-
tion was the most popular had disap-
pointing way of not shaking into holes
with the Jail, but would reach outer safe
ty and walk the streets with discoucert-
ing sarcasm.
Folk rarely try to keep appointments in
Northwich. They know that Il is no use
ne street on which the appointee lives
at the time when the appointment is
MADE may not be there at all when the
appointment should be kept. The burst
ing of a sidewalk is as common there as
is q manning of pedestrians by the Met
ropoiitan Street Railway here
the favorite domestic implement Of
Northwich is a hydraulic jack. When
not say. Dear Mr.. Brown. won't you
please play us something on the pianos'
Ihey produce the hydraulic Jack and say
NOW, do: dear Mr.. Brown. give our
ner; All your friends say you use the
hydraulic Jack divinely."
The chief occupation OF the town Of.
lclals of Northwich is to look for missing
houses and to fish for sunken streets. just
now they are trying to lift the main
street of the village a trifiing matter of
three feet and six inches. that being its
latest drop. OF course, the houses along
the street dropped with the street. That
wouldn't be so bad II it not not happen
ed unfortunately that they dropped at
various angles and that now they stand
IN all sorts of positions. One beautiful
blonde two-storied cottage is lying in the
arms of a dark. burly three-storied ten
ement next to IL. and gaZes into its beet
ing windows trustfuliy with a languish-
devotion. large stone house Is leaning
over the street as IL 1t wanted to fall on
IT'S knees. A bay window in another house
mas been turned It an angle so that the
edliice looks like prizefighter with a
badly broken and mashed nose. Doors
and windows are askew all over town.
An indignant citizen complained last
week that he couldn't eat dinner without
using an alpenstock to help him chase
the table. The fire department never
knows whether to take ladders or rope.
to reach a burning building. Perplexed
persons living along the main street have
Drunken men fall into chimneys. Some
houses have left the street far behind
and have sunk yards while the street sank
feet. Other houses wer caught III time
and propped. and now stand far above
the sidewalk, tilted like wtndmills.
None of the houses suffer materially
from their odd adventures. They have
been built for the purpose. Great iron
bands are fastened around each building
at intervals, so that many look like mis-
shapen barrels.
Everywhere are rivets and bolts and
trusses. Therefore. when they begin to
,aIl the houses merely creak and groan a
little. like a ship taking a plunge in a
head sea, and then they dive gracefully
and don't stop till they reach bottom
The hydraulic jack is put under them then
and they are pushed back to the free air
of heaven to remain till they feel like
making another move
The houses do not worry the North
wichers so much, therefore 1t is the
steady vet always unexpected and aggra-
waiting loss OF such trifes as a COW. a
new high hat. and a soup tureen OF a pet
child that has provoked the salt city TO
send memorial to Parliamcnt.-Phila-
delphia Times