davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
SHE WAS WEAK IN FIGURES.
A Wife Shows a Husband How to Buy
 Eggs to Advantage.

A Wife Shows a Husband How to Buy Eggs to Advantage. When the man of the family wants to enjoy laugh at the expense of the bargain-hunting mother of it, he is all most sure to get off that old joke about her spending ten cents in carfare to save five cents in the price of an article, which, in some cases, as you all know, is the truth, and not a joke at all Here is one to keep the old joke con- pany:
 Some women are good mathematic- ians, others are weak in figures" The Baltimore Sun tells of one who prided herself on her economy and close bar gaining. Her husband used to banter her somAtimes about hat he called her "stinginess."
 One day Mrs. &, as she nay hp call band to go to market with her and wit ness her prowess in the line of close buying.
 At the market Mrs. s. made several purchases, and then at one stall inQuir- ed the price of eggs.
 Sixteen cents a dozenp' she repeat ed. "That's too much. I am sure saw them for less somewhere this morning."
 She dragged her reluctant husband after her from one stand to another, still inquiring the price of eggs, and al- ways receiving the same answer, until she was near the upper end of the market Here she found a dealer whose eggs were fifteen cents a dozen.
 "There, told you sop' she exclaimed to her husband. "ThOse other men were trying to get the advantage"
 Turning to the dealer she ordered half a dozen eggs, gravely handed him eight cents in payment, and went away, we'll satisfied with her shrewdness.
 Her first doubt came when Mr. S. quietly asked her how much she had really saved by the transaction. Since then she does not like to hear her hus- band speak of her economies.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
British Birch.

A woman applied to Mir. Dickinson at the Thames police court yesterday for advice about her son, boy of 13, who on several occasions had stolen money from her.
 MT. Dickinson-Have you a husband?
 Applicant-Yes.
 MT. Dickinson-Has he punished him?
 Applicant-He whacks him some times.
 MT. DickinsOn-It is no good beating him with cane or stick. Buy a good birch rod. You can get one for about threepence. Then get your husband to give him twelve really good strokes with it, and in all probability he will never steal any mOre.-London News.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
SHE WOULDN'T BE BEATEN.
Old Woman Did Not Approve of Horse
 Racing, but

old Woman Did Not Approve of Horse
 Racing, but
 They make rather an Odd-h,oking couple in their old-fashioned cutter as they jog over the boulevard. sp.aking to each other about once a mile vet as contented and happy as in the days of their courtship. The other WAT tbov happened to be caught amonv +bo races, and there was new experience
 The family horse, whose declining years have been especially pleasant pricked up it's ears, made awka,d at. tempts at prancing and showed other worldly signs of desire to join in the sport.
 "Ephraimr' said the aged wife, re- provingly.
 '"Tain't my fault" he replied as be wrapped the reins about his hands ''Tarnal ole fool must be gettin' into his second chilehood. Whoa, Dexter ho, boy, stiddy now. I can't held him Angy."
 "Get out of the road with that old crowbait and that old Noah's ark of yours," shouted one of the racers as be pulled alongside.
 "Ephraim," snapped the little old wo- man, what you hangin' ontel' that horse for? Didn't you hear that im- pertinent ruffian. G'long, Dexter. Tech him with the whip, Ephraim, so he'll know what's expected. That's 1t. Let him out, lickety split. He hain't doin' his best licks. Tech him ag'in, Eph. Hi! hi! now he's movin'. Hokey, we're gainin', Eph. GP me the whip Gnd you stiddy him. Ge-laEg! gelang~
 "WhOa, boy" and the little cid man was pulling hard, "whoa boy, there goes yer bunnet, Angy."
 What! Ephraim! Quit that pullin' Quit this instant" and she fairly lifted Dexter with whole arm move ment of the whip. "Are you gettin' seenile, man. Whats a bunnet you've wore ten years. I wouldn' care ef it was so' with almonds" Whack, whack, and they finished strong two lengths to the good.
 When the 'ruffian" smiled and said 1t was the liveliest outfit he had seen on the boulevard "Angy" beamed on him, but on the way home she caution. ed Ephraim half a dozen times to say nothing to nobody, it was so disgrace full, this horse racin'. Detroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Work.

"What's de matterY asked Plodding Pete.
 Nightmare" answered Meandering Mike, rubbing his eyes. 'I fought somebody handed me S1,OO0O0O."
 An you was kicking ?"
 'Pete, did you ever try to count $1,- 100000? De work is somethin' fear Washington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Mistress of Herself"

A man has no moral right to sit on the edge of a tiled hearth and balance a Sevres plate (not to be matched for love or money) on his knees, yet this was what a famous illustrator did-till he dropped it.
 What have I done" he asked, al- though the proverbial thousand pieces" were plainly visible at his feet.
 "Merely destroyed a plate-which is quite in a great artists line," returned his hostess, with a smile that even her husband afterward admitted was far too fine for everyday use.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

A man feels a strange pang when re- minded of an acquaintance, who is dead, but the pang is not because he is missed so much but that he is missed so little.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Threatened the Preacher.

Apreacherin in Southern Missouri, after having announced that he would preach the following Sunday on Hell and Who Will Go There," received several letters from parishioners threatening dire vengeance in case he dared to make use of their names.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Clever Arrest of Deserters

One of the neatest arrests on fecord was effected by policeman near Bourne, Eng, not long ago. Suspecting two men of being deserters he stepped up behind them and called out sharply, "Attentionw Taken unawaI es, the men sprang to position in true military style, only to find themsell es the next moment in the arms of the law.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
An Inconsistent Liar

Bosling-Oh, well. all horse dealers are more or less tricky.
 Gosling-Yes, but this one was the most bold-faced liar ever saw. First. he told me the horse was perfectly sound, and in the very next breath he admitted 1t was Philadel- phia Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Too Bad.

Mrs. Mann-That young MT. ChiIdsrs is dead. It was awfully sudden ISn's it too bad?
 MT. Mann-And he was getting along so famously at eolOring his leer- schaum.-Transcript.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Roth.

Dr. Ende-There's nothing serious the matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulcahy. I think little soap and water win do him as much good as anything.
 Mrs. Mulcahy-Yis, dOcther; an will Oi give it t him. befoOr or afther his males ?-Leslie's Weekly.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
The Sennei.

''That settles it, Danks- Our land lady has been reading about L0sb's salr cure"
 "What nowY
 ''We'n get salt herring breakfaSrs every morning until the berTy season. Philadelphia North American
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
One Point of Dffereoe-.

"What's the matter with your aske1 the sympathetic friend; '-an attack 0r grip?"
 'No, this isn't grip. I haven't time tO stay at home and send for a dOe-0r- This is simply a bad sold. G."-Washing- ton Post.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
pr;cLs for Powder Mills.

Bricks made of plaster of paris and cork are now used in the construction of powder mills. In case of explosion they offer slight resistance and are broken to atoms.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Conspicuous Bravery.

Friend-Stormington is a heroic actor. isn't he?
 Comedian-You bet be lsl Why. on several occasions I've seen him keep right on acting till he was fired uponF' -Puck
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
A Big Snonpe.

The largest sponge ever sent to mar ket was from the Mediterranean It was ten feet in circumference and three in diameter
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
The First Rule.

New Boarder-Can get my meals on time?
 Landlady-No; you will have so pay aa characterization Life.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
His Reason.

"Why should a woman take a mans name when she marries himE~
 Well, as long as she takes every thing else, she might as well .aks Ihat. tOO.-Philadelphia Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Signs of Appropriat.on.

"Mr. Simpkins and our daughter must be engaged"
 "Do they seem fond of each OtherP@ 'No; but he has begun to fnd fault with her"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
In Missouri.

Clerk-That train rObber says hs won't pay his bill.
 Missouri Grocer-Well, then. I Eup- pose we'll have to garnishee the rail road company.-Puck.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Gets Un EarIr.

Jimmy-What time do yer have esr get ter work?
 Johnny-Oh, any time like as long as ain't later than O'clOck--H1rpeZ's Bazar.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Their Verdict.

Judge-Gentlemen of the jury, what is your verdict?
 Irish Foreman-We foind that the mon who stole the horse is not guilty.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Fool, Not Work.

Farmers Wife-Why don't yOG ear that piece of steak I sent out for yOu3
 Tramp Gndignantly)-I didn't ask for work, ma'am; asked for something ro eat.-Pick-Me-Up.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Rad Form

"ListenP' he whispered
 Marjorie pressed his hand softly
 "Not nowr' she said "It Is bad form to listen while the piano Is plaTings- Detroit Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
No Wonder.

Barnestorm-Yes; poor Banter has gone crazy as loon. The part he had to play was too much for him
 Buskin-What was he playing Jekyu and Hyde?
 Barnestorm-No; Monte Cris5O.S at SIP per week and six weeks salary due
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

When a great mans age is told il inspires a hope in all those younger, and a feeling of Encouragement in those who are older.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
On the Government.


 They were two big, burly Indians. The long eagle feather in the hat of one who is known as 'chief'' and the bright red ostrich tip in the sombrero of the other would have told that if the unmistakable features had not evi- denced 1t. A government employee, it matters not who, but one who may pos sibly in certain events happening make . 'stake" out of the tribe to which these Indians belong. was doing the honors of the capitol and showing the braves about the corridors. They left the Indian committee room and came to the door of the house restaurant.
 Let's have bite to eat," suggested the man with the graft.
 "An right" was the quick reply of the aborigines.
 At the luncheon counter the one who could master the most English asked, ''Guv'munt payT
 "0h, yes," responded the host, think ing that the quickest way to inform them that they would not have to stand good for the bill.
 "Ughw grunted the brave, i've eat lot, guv'munt pay" And they did four cups of coffee each. half a dozen hard boiled eggs, three ham sand wiches, one dozen doughnuts, a whole baked chicken. ice cream. a whole pie each and besides that thirst for fire water that was absolutely appalling. The luncheon counter looked as though a cyclone might have paid 1t a visit by the time the Indians got through, and the bill that the ''guv'munt" clerk had to foot made his weeks salary look like 2 cents.
 ''Guv'munt heap good" grunted the brave as he picked his teeth in true "white brother" fashion in the corridor. "We eat here again." But 1t will not be in company with that particular clerk.-Washington Star.
 Queen Who Married Her Brothers.
 At 1I years of age Cleopatra was married to her half brother, Ptolemy Dionysius, who was then 13. This was because of the will of his father, who left him the throne on condition of the marriage with his sister. They reigned jointly under the guardianship of the Romans until Cleopatra became dissat- isfed with her brothers attempt to gain sole power. She plotted against him, and, obtaining the aid of Julius Cesar, she brought about Ptolemys death. Thereupon she married another brother, a boy of II, whom she later poisoned. assuming sole power 43 B. c. With her death 60 B. O. ended the dy- nasty of Ptolemy in Egypt. S@xr>g
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

All the worlds a stage-and most of the occupants are supers who play thinking parts.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
Getting at His Finances.
First Thought.

Owner-Here! What are you dong in my safe?
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06
ADreaIfuI State of Af irs

He-Well, We can't believe more than half we hear.
 She-Oh, worse than that; can't be- lieve more than half say.-Life.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

The easiest note to write is the hard est to pay.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

"What animal is it that is web footed. Tommie?'
 "The spider, ma'am-" - YOnkers Statesman.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

Thu world Is becoming funnier ane funnier every day.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

"Well, 1t was billed as a drama. but it was farce before they got through -''- Philadelphia Bulletin.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-07-06

Pa hos Mixed with the Humor. "Was the amateur play a drama or a
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
PROBATE COURT.

In the Probate Court of the county cf Maricopa. territory of Arizona.
 In the matter of the estate ot Albert F. Converse, deceased. Notice of sal. Of real estate a, Phoenix. Arizona
 Notice is hereby given, that in pur- suance of an order of the Probate Court in and f TT the county of Mar copa. territory of Arizona. made on the fth day of February. l9Ol in the matter of the estate of Albert F.. Converse de- ceased, the undersigned. the admins- tratOI- of said estate will sell at pub lie auction. to the highest bidder, sub ject t2 confirmation by said Probate Court on Saturday the 2nd day of March, 1901. at 10 o'clock a. mo a the north door of the courthouse in the city of Phoenix in the said county of Mar i,Opa, territory of Arizona. the follow ing described real property. to-wit:
 An undivided B of the north 25 feet of the south 50 fee; of lots and II of block 2l of the city of Phoenix (bcng 2j feet fronting Wcs; on Center street and located between Stroud and Good rich lo,s) and an undivided ll interest in lots and 10 in block : of Dennis addition to the city or ihpenlN. ALSO an undivided l-l0 interest in the north half of the southeast quarter Oess r. acres) of section 3, township I north, range 3 east. Gila and Sat River base and meridian, the same being lots Q, 10, IT, 12, 13 and Ii Of the subdivision of said southeast II. according to plat filed in the office cf the County Re- | corder of Mariropa county on the 18th day of April, 1SS7.
 All of said real estate being situate | in Maricopa county, Arizona territory. Terms of sale ten per cent cash with bid and balance upon confirmation of 1 sale
 ARTHUR J. EDWARDS.
 Administrator of the Estate of Albert F.. Converse. deceased.
 | Dated February 7 1901,
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
TEMPE.

Work is rapidly progressing on the second story of the new addition or the public school.
 A. J. Peters $ nt out six cars of hay over the southern road last night
 Mir. Humphreys of the Weekly EN- aminer has been canvassing the south side the past few days.
 The door of the vault of the Trmp' National bank was placed yesterday II weighed nearly l,ooo pounds.
 J. w. Woolf returned yesterday from a trip to Washington on official bus'- ness.
 Mrs. r. X. Kirkwood and Mrs, k. G. Andre spent yesterday with friends m Phoenix.
 Company C.. x. C. A. and the Nor maj school cadets will participate III the military exercises February 2' m Phoenix. when the dedication or the new capitol building takes place.
 The band of Tempe are anticipating royal good time at their grand s' on Friday evening in the Curry hall'
 O. II. Christy. B Porter, Waiter L'- gan and District Attorney EdWat"S | tlllltt NdlltlN N'FNN' N't'
 NIr. NJ. Odell received a severe IhJu'E to his side Monday evening. caused pI slipping from his wagon while getting into it. ~
 Miss Lou Hal, started last eV.H.il for Los Angeles where'she will N.Sl' wholesale houses and select a SPr'ns stock of millinery.
 Last night Mark Moore, the twelve year-old son of Mr. J. T. Moore. mac his arm severely crushed. Tn, lad wa. climbing into d spring wagon to ''"' home from the Alma district scho'' when he lost his balance, fell uhde the moving wagon. The Wh'tI '"' over his left arm severely crushing u making it a painful operation 10 Sr' and Drs. Broadway and Mocui Wh' '' attending the boy, were comreH'd usa chloroform.
 There is a considerable rise ln II" river at the Tempe bridge, caused ' melting snow. ..u -,l,a tbe rest of the week to finish Ih ,.nairs on the Tempe dam. The top , washed off in several places, thr "'' S heinz a break of about thirty c' is feared the rise in che river VIII "' c-ssitate a suspension ot work
 Dn't forget the social dance In m Curry hall tonight
 All the south side farmers are ih''' ested in the new Myers cpmh'h, horse power pump which with d sihg' horse yields 2.0o0 gallons of water W hour. Two of these pumps were r' ceived Monday by the E. F.. r. Co., Wh
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
tHomestead Entry No. 2OG9D


 Department of the Interior Land Office at Tucson, Arizona. Feb. F.. 1901. Notice is hereby given that the fol- lowing named settler has filed noti' z of his intention to make final proof .l supp0rt of his claim, and that said proof will be made before the clerk O. the district court at Phoenix, Ar!zona, on Wednesday. March 20. 1901, viz: Moses r.. Clanton oI Arlington, Ar zpna, for the F.. F. N. F. h, <. w. h. \. F. 1., and x. w. A. $ F. A. See. 2S, r. 1 S. R. w., G. & $. k. E. & NJ. He names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence upon end cultivation of said land, viz:
 John E. Montgomery. Lewis Q. Whey and John N. Mullen of Phoenix, Arizona, and Neil Benson cf Buckeye, Arizona. MILTON E. MOORE.
 Reg.s.sr. First publication, February l5, 1901.
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
he period of twenty-five years.

the period or tWentS-HNe years,
 V.
 The affairs of this corporation shall be conducted by board of directors of three persons each of whom must be q stockholder and shall be elected at the annual meeting of the sharehOld- CTS except as herein provided as to the first board of drectors). Annual meet lngs to be held on the first Monday ot January of each year during the life oc this corporation. al the office If the company in Phoenix, Arizona. Henry l.. George. William l.. George, Jr, and Richard B. George shall act as dt"" DTS until the first annual mee ', on the first Monday in Janua". 70.
 VI.
 The officers Of thi" Urporatlon shall be a president. sec ,ary and treasurer. to he elected by tAe board uf directors at each annual meeting, and Henry l.. Caorg. sha,. act as president until suca ar" 3l meeting. and Richard E. George snail act as secretary and treasurer.
 The hig.cst amount ot iLdebtnJn Ss to which this corporation shall subject itself shall D. th. sam of SIX Thousand D liars.
 VIII.
 The private property of the Individual Stockholders of this corporation shall be exempt from the corporate debts of this corporation.
 These articles of incorporation may be amended by vote of two-thirds Of tn, stockholders at q regular meeting or d special meeting called for the pur- pose.
 In Witness Whereof. We have here unto set our hands and seals this, the l5tn day of December, A. D.. 1899 II. l.. GEORGE. (seaD
 w. l.. GEORGE. (seaD
 R. F. GEORGE. (seaD F. fore me, Alex Rheinstein. a notary public in and fg the county of .dai- copa. territory If Arizona, on this day personally appeared II. l.. George, w. l.. George and k. F. George, known to | me to be the persons whose names are subscribed to the foregoing instrum mt und ackn VI ad%sd 10 ne that they eN- ! ecuted the same for the purpose and | consideration therein eXpr ssed. Given under my hand seal of office | this lCth day of December. A. D.. 1899 lscaD ALEX RHEINSTEIN,
 Notary Public. My commission expires June l4th 1902.
 First publication, Febrr ary 1j 1901.
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
LA GRIPPE QUICKLY CURED.

"In the winter of 1898 and 1899 was taken down with a severe attack of what is called Ia Grippe says r. r." Hewrtt, d prominent druggist of Wln- field. III. The only medicine used was two bottles of Ihamberlaii!' $ Cough Remedy. It broke up the co'I and stopped the coughing like mag.', and | have never since been troubled with Grippe" Chambcriain's Cough Remedy can always be depended upon 10 break up a severe cold and ward off any threatened attack of pneumonia, II is pleasant tJ talk" too, which makes it tn" most desirable and one of the most popular preparations in use for these ailments For sale by all drug gists.
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
CAN BE PREVENTED

This disease always results from a cold or an attack of the grip and may be prevented by the timely use ot Chamberlan's Cough Remedy. This remedy was extensively used during the epidemics fl La Grippe of the past fev. years and not d single ease has ever been reported that did not recover or that resulted in pneumonia. which shows it to be d certain preventive O.: that dangerous disease. Chamberlain ! Cough Remedy has gained world wide reputation for its cures of cods and grip. For sale by all druggists.
 An oynery person receives Q lot pf appreciation when he does do any thing cCmmendIble.
Arizona republican., 1901-02-20
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Homest aad Entry No. 26O5.)

Nl1OlleSltdu fullS NO' -pV") Department of the Interior, Land Office at Tucson, Arizona. February D. 1901. Notice is hereby given that the fol- lowing named settler has filed notice of her intention to make final proof in support of her claim, and that said proof will be made before the clerk of the district court at Phoenix, Arizona, on Saturday, March 16, 1901, viz: Jane II. Narramore. of Gila Bend, Arizona. for the N. w. Ii Sec s, T , S., R. 4 ", G. & s. R. F. x NJ.
 She names the following witnesses to prove her continuous residence upon and cultivation of said land. viz: Charles II. Willard, James Trimble and Irwin Douglas of Gila Bend. Arizona, and William J. Welcome. of Phoenix, Arizona. MILTON R. MOORE,
 Register. First publication, February s, 1901.