Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-30
TAUGHT HIM A LESSON

The man had brought an extinct cigar
into crowded 9th street car. Although
the car was crowded the man found room
to sit down. He crushed himself between
pretty girl with music roll and a super
fine young man In a frock coat and top hat.
who looked as If he considered himself the
money. There really wasn't room in that
space for the man with the extinct cigar.
but that didn't worry him any; he made
room. The man with the extinct cigar was
an obese, coarsely arrayed person, with a
four days growth of beard and stock of
obtuseness that seemed to be quite i'm
penetrabie.
Now, an extinct cigar-a cigar that has
been lighted and permitted to go QUITS
an offense even in the nostrns of habituai
smokers. 1t doesn't make any difference IL
the extinct cigar is composed of Cuban
leaves that cost $12 the pound-when once
1t has been lighted and permitted to go
out its smell becomes a scandal and a
disgrace. Even one Of those cigars for
which j. Pierpont Morgan is said to pay
81 each, buying them by the thousand.
strikes the olfactory organ like a passing
garbage wagon, once it has been lighted
and then allowed to lose it's tip of fire.
However, the extinct cigar tightly clutch
ed in the grimy paw of this man on the
crowded car didn't belong to the Morgan
breed. 1t was palpably a three-for-tve
cheroot, and 1t was probably manufactured
out of,the leaves Of the Savoy cabbage. for
which the nutmeg state is justly famed
The penetrating aroma that it dinused
throughout the whole car as soon as the
man took his seat gradually aroused the
passengers to facetious, sarcastic and even
violent expressions.
WHO'S got that passe onion?"
Reminds me of that smelly place that
you pass going down the river on boat"
Wouldn't that make you hold your
breath?'
These and many other remarks of
similar nature the abused passengers on
the crowded car gave utterance to. he
didn't even seem to hear the remarks. He
went right on clutching the raveled three
for-fiyer in his grimy paw and looked per-
fectly contented with himself and his at
mosphere.
The pretty young woman with the music
roll rose from her seat after about two
blocks juxtaposition with the man with
the extinct cigar, and pushed her way to
the front Of the car, where she clutched
strap and breathed good long breath.
The young man in the frock coat and the
top hat who looked as II he considered
himself the money stared hard at his
seat mate for a couple of moments, ana
then, with nice, clean handkerchief at
his nose he went out onto the rear plat
form. The conductor gasped as he passed
the man with the extinct smoke, and gazed
at the raveled cigar, but he couldn't do
anything, there being no rule against
man carrying an unlighted cigar In car.
After a while a testy-looking, middle
aged man who was standing directly in
front of the man with the extinct cigar
leaned over and said:
MY friend, that noxfous weed In your
hand Is poisoning the air Of the entire
car"
"Hey?" said the man with the offensive
weed.
II say" went on the testy-looking, mid
dle-aged man. that that alleged cigar you
are carrying is polluting the atmosphere of
the whole car, and is plainly rendering a
number Of ladies ILL.,"
Jaw. g'wanv' replied the man with the
extinct cigar, and the testy-looking man
flushed and subsidized.
Then stout, double-chinned man. stand
ing directly behind the testylooking, mid
dle-aged man, took a hand.
"Aint you ashamed Of yourself, SIR said
he to the man with the extinct cigar, Ito
poison the air we've go to breathe in this
COMPOUNDED manner
Jaw, 90 chase y'rself" replied the man
with the extinct cigar, as he switched the
Objectionable roll Of Savoy cabbage to his
other grimy paw. The stout man glared
at him, but didn't say anything further.
Just at this point a short, nervous-look-
ing little man, with chopped-oH, bristly
mustache, who had been sitting across the
aisle and saying never word, rose from
his seat, stretched his arms and yawned.
Then he reached over to the window d.
rectly behind the man with the extinct
cigar, and let 1t down with clatter. Then.
with movement as sudden as the dab of
cats paw he snatched the noisome smoke
out Of the Doors hand and deliberately
threw 1t out of the open window. After
doing which he stuck his chopped-off,
bristly mustache within three inches of the
Doors ugly physiognomy, and said in short,
jerky. rasping tones:
1.-THE stencil of that turnip makes me
riotous, and if you're hunting for riot I'd
like to have you consider my application.
that's ALL Nothing could possibly furnish
me with greater delight than to get into a
rough house mix to finish with you. And
If you let so much as mutter out of you
you've got to fight, and you've got to know
how to fight How's that?"
The boor quailed under the little mans
steady gaze. Then he rose from his seat,
uttered Jaw, g'wanP' verv much under his
breath, and swung OFF the car. A round Of
applause greeted the small, nervous-looking
man as he resumed his seat, and q number
of men sitting and standing near him pulled
out their wallets and humorously extended
them to him. He waved them aside with
grin, and remarked:
There's nothing coming to me for MAX
ing that bluff, for Of course 1t was a bluff
If that big loafer had called me I'd have
gone headforemost out of the window. for
I'm not little bit on the fight, and don't
believe I could thrash a lobster salad or a
boned squad II went into training for it.
But 1t was up to somebody to take a
chance, and l saw that I was elected.
That's ALL"
Notwithstanding which modest statement
he got another cheer as he stepped off the
car couple of squares farther down.
Size of the States.