The Butte inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1901-1912, 1901-10-12
THE AMERICAN HOBO.
Have a New Graft to Raise the
Wind.


The hobo. seating himself by the road
side as he approached Marmalade Fork,
Iowa, cogitated, says the Washington
Post:
Dis won't do" said he to himself.
"Nutting' dom in de way of handout
since yistiddy. an 1 hain't had a sit
down in a kitchen since I left Illinoy
Dey's somet'in' got to be done, OATS ALL"
He paved over his head refectively
and continued his musing
II haint had seegar nor a butt FIR
tree days, an if I'd see can o. mixed
ale I'd have de hydrophobia, it's bin so
long since piped off bowl o. suds 1
got t. push de game along somehow
He picked up a handful of pebbles and
began to toss them into the middle of the
road as he continued his day dream.
Il can't bust into cage, f'r amt got
no tools, an I don't want t. take no
chanstes on goin' over de road FIR boig-
larry anyhow. An de bunch in dis state
won't stand FIR no kind of a touch. Dey
gives 70 de Nansen gaze Wen yo' hit 'em
FIR a chanst t do tree days poWin' FIR
breakfas'. an wen you rap on a back
door dey sizes four bleribbon bull ter
rier NUTS on youse. ] don't see dis ting
no longr, OATS what. an somethin's got
Z be put over or it's me f'r de bug
house."
For little while longer he pondered.
and then hesapped his thigh with great
force. There was grin of victory on
his unshorn chart
Just de game t. T." he murmured as
he rose up William Riley. IF don't git
dat one over de plate, den muffin ever
was put over. OATS all"
Whereupon he pushed on toward Mar
malade Fork. When he reached the
town he hunted up the office of the Mar
malade Fork Clarion-Kazoo. He found
the staff engaged in digging the remains
of the sticky fluid out of half pound
can of ink.
Hey" said the staff, roughly-the staff
wrote. set up and printed the paper
what dye want? Clear out O. here!
wait minute put in the hobo, per-
suaslvely, yet with proper dignity. wait
till l tell you who l am" and then he
proceeded to announce himself to the
one-lnan power staff of the Marmalade
Fork Clarion-Kaz as citizen of New
York who had on wager of $25,OO0, set
out two months before to walk to San
Francisco without cent in his pocket.
1t never occurred to the Clarion Kazoo
the pulp head who had made such
wager with him. The features of the
Clarion kazoo man lighted up cordially
and he conducted the hobo to the speak
easy in the rear of his shack and blew
him off to numerous high ones in quick
succession. Then he conveyed him out
to feedery, where the hobo ate yaller-
legged chickens and pork chops and wa
termelon until he could barely see out
of his eyes. Then the Clarlon-kazoo
man dug for a dollars worth of cigars
for the hobo, introduced him around
town as the famous pedestrian from New
York who was hiking OF to Frisco on a
$o5, 900 bet, and when the hobo left town
three hours later ON the pike he was so
gorged with good things and so somno-
lent from the effects of the good tobacco
he had acquired that he had to lie down
and rest himself for nine hours before
proceeding on his way.
There are good things scattered nearly
everywhere around this country, and the
walking on bet hObos are learning
how to exploit the field these days.