The Forrest City times., 1901-12-20
JOKE ON THE PRESIDENT
How some students Got the Head ., a College Locked Upin.n
 Asylum.

class like some famous beirlo. The older alumni still remembar ,I particular incident when colle1 prank seriously jared the dignity 2, one of it's honored presidents. stonno. the session of a Methodist eonfsN ence and made stirring scene in lunatic asylum.
 The venerable president of tbo :. stltution was on his way 10 inc .. nual session of his conference ,vba. several of the undergraduates sas. telegram 10 the superintendeDt .. the insane asylum telling him tba, man would arrive late that day so,' ing that he was President BlanL Blank college, and member of tSa Baltimore conference.
 Put him under lock and key bv all means,' it said. The man is erazr He is perfectly harmless. but b;. friends want him held. as he has es' capped from their care"
 When President Blank left inc o.. at the station he was somewhat sur. prised to be aceosted by stranger who said: This way. Dr. Blant You are to be my guest"
 All right" was the reply. and tba two took their places in ligb, buggy. Seeking to learn the peculiar turn of his companions insanity the superintendent queried: Where ara you stationed, doctor?"
 "Oh, 1 am president of Blank col. lege. and a member of the conference in session here"
 T have him all right" said the sr. perintenGent under his breath "yov to keep hin from becoming violent.
 Dr. Blank expressed some surprisa when the carriage entered the asylum grounds, but suffered himself 10 be led into room. the door of which was at once locked.
 What are you locking that door for?' demanded the astonisbed guest. Don't bar my liberty as yop would crazy mans. I want no fool. ishness now. l want you to under. stand that I am President Blank. ., Blank college, and here for the con. ference sessions. l don't expect to be treated like lunatic."
 Plumb crazy remarked the super. inteadent to an attendant standing near by.
 The conference in the little church around the corner had commenced it's deliberations when Superintendent Brown for the twentieth time re- fused the college president all com. muuieation with outside friends. The venerable gentleman was now re- signed 10 his fate, in the hope that somehow his brethren would learn of his predieament and come To his res. cue.
 When the presiding bishop of the conference called for the chairman of the committee on entertainment to make his report and received no re- sponse. some surprise was expressed, as Dr. Blank was known to he always punctual. Fearing that he had met with some accident, messengers were dispatched to the telegraph office 4 reply was received that the president had left for the conference hours before.
 Al the insane asylum. closely watched by attendants. the college president was eating his noonday meal, giving expression to his anger between bites. The attendants moved anNiously when he became excited, ready to restrain him by force. From expressions of anger the unwilling guest turned to pleadings and en- treaties. as he sought to explain the great injustice which he was being forced 10 suffer, but 10 no avail.
 Just as the committee detailed to locate the missing chairman returned to the conference with no tidings of his whereabouts, a small boy made his way 10 the bishops chair and said:
 Mir. Bishop. is the man you are looking for crazy?'
 What do you mean, boy?" retorted the bishop, glaring at him savagely.
 "I am a messenger boy said the lad, and l delivered message at the insane asylum just a few minutes "S' anu utdiA tNt SuptItN ltthShS talking about a crazy man they had who thought he was a member of the conference. l had to come here with telegram, and when I heard about a lost man l thought I'd tell you about the crazy one"
 Within 20 minutes, says the New York Mail and Express. the messen- ger had piloted four clerical-looking gentlemen to the insane asylum, and they at once pronounced the super intendent,s "hopeIess case" perfectly sane. \ profusion of apologies fol- lowed from the asylum attendants, and as the college president was tri- umphantly led back to his waiting brethren, the superintendent looked out of his office window and sighed:
 What a crazy man that minister must have thought I was"
 Tobacco Is the Best Insecticide.
 Most of the insects common to house plants dislike tobacco as much as does