The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-05-27
STORIES OF MEN AND WOMEN

STORIES OF MEN AND WOMEN.
A young man who had just entered tde
ofi1ce OF jeremiah Mason. the great New
hampshire legal luminary, to study law,
asked him where he should begin. Mason
pointing to the books on the library
shelves. answered laconically: Any
where.
Andrew Carnegie is fond of quoting the
witty remark made by an old friend Of
his in Pittsburg, who for some time neld
the record for fast horses. bat was one
day beaten in a brush by young man
Inc Old gentleman disappeared for some
time. He had gone to Kentucky to get
a horse that would re-establish his su-
premacy. He was being shown over a
stuc, ard had already gone past long
string OF horses with their records on
the stall and the victories they lad won
Then he was taken through a long line
Of young horses with their pedigrees
from which the dealer was proving what
they were going to do when they got on
the track. The old gentleman. wiping
ms forehead-for it was a hot day-sud-
denly turned to the dealer, and said:
Look here. stranger-you shown me
nave beens,' and you've let me see your
going te-be's5i but what 1 am here for
Is an lSGr. - n -f1
~ 4
Apropos OF thcn mention of betting on
the height Of dinner-tables, cor
respondent Of Free Lance relates the
Following story of willy bitter who was
badly bit: 'There was a certain Major
K, who had for some years enjoyed the
reputation of being one of the widest
men in India. Making a call on one &C.
casion on a}rmess, ne found Capt. q.
whom he wanted out, but the mess wait
er assured him that the latter would
soon return, wherefore he waited In the
antero2n. A few minutes later, the
mess sergeant, happening to pass the
window, noticed to his surprise that Mai
n had passed into the mess room beyond
ana was applying a tape measure to the
mess table Naturally considering this
an odd proceeding, he mentioned 1t later
On in the day to Capt. z, who took coun-
sci and then begged a favor of the col
$onel, Which was to allow an inch to be
saWn off the table legs. In due course
MAJ X was invited to dinner. and the
mess was there to a man As, was ex-
pected, during dessert he cortrived to
lead the conversation on tc guessing
heights, and from that to Offering to bet
on the present mahogany Waa but STEP
They took him on, from colonel down TO
the youngest sub-even the padre could
not resist the stemptatien to chastisc the
unrighteous, and -Neptured- his mite The
challenger bet first, just an eighth of an
inch beyond the old height and then the
mess. in rotation, guessed exactly the
same, and all guessed exactly right. He
was done completely
Porter Wright who was a servant in
the employ of Daniel Webster. SAYS the
great sstatesman's sense of. ,humor. was
infinite. On one occasion a man present
ed bill to him for payment WIN"
said Webster, 81 have paid that bill be-
fore" The neighoor assured him that he
was mistaken. "All right. then: call
again in the morning and 1 will settle
With you. AS soon as the man was gone
Webster called his son Fletcher, and told
him to look over his papers and see if
he could not find a receiEted bill To the
surprise Of both, two receipted bills were
found, showing that the bill had been
paid twice. Webster put the receipts in
his pocket and said nothing In the morn
ing the neighbor returned for the money.
Webster took his seat under the old elm
and ordered Wright to bring out the
decanter, Filling the glass to the brim.
he handed 1t to the man and told him to
drink Webster then began: Mr.. Blank.
do you keep books?' The man assured
him that he did not. 'Then l would ad-
wise you to do so" said Webster and
pulling one Of the receipts from his
pocket handed it to him. The man was
covered with confusion, while Webster
continued: "And while YOU are about it
you had better get a bookkeeper who un-
derstands double-entry!" at the same
time handing him another receipt
Now said1 Webster, Il am going to
pay this bill just once more, but I assure
YOU upon mywOfd of honor, that I Will
not pay it the fourth time"
In his volume of "reminiscences. ''The
Eccentrtcities of Genius" Maj Pond tells
the following story of Clara Lou Sc KEEL
logg: ION our arrival at st. Paul. while
waiting in the hotel parlors to be as
signed to our rooms, William, our piano
tuner, came to me with tears running
down his face. He was in deep distress.
He must leave us at once and go back
to New York His brother had d:eI. Miss
Kellogg, seeing the poor fellow, imme-
diately came to his relief What Is l.
William? she asked My brother IS Gan1
I must go home When did
asked Miss Kellogg. Il did not e nc -
ter until just now. 1t has be- ral IL
ed from Omaha. He has been :! e Two
weeks Miss Kellogg tried to ersuade
him that he could be of no assistance
in hurrying home now, that in a short
time we would all be back, and he would
be better off to remain with the COM
pany. Besides, we could net spare him,
as there was no one to take his place He
was persistent, being a superstit Gus
young German. Miss Kellogg said at last;
Now; William come with me- She walk
ed out with him to a dry goods store,
bought a piece of black crepe, and tied
it on his arm in a very elaborate bow
She made him get a silk hat and have
it trimmed with crepe In half an hour
William was back among US, decorated
in full mourning and completely consoied
The entire company were SYM athiZing
with him. He was almost happy, ard
the rest of US were satisfied and pleased