The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-07-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HU NOR OF THE DAY.
A Hit, Surei-Penner-s' What are you
doing now? 'skribbs- Writing songs
Penner-.'Any of them become popular
yet2' Skribbs-"No; but i turned out
Mother one yesterday that had Is
grammatical errors in it."-Puck.
Customer-''And is this chair really
an antique piece of furniture?" Dealer
Antique, madam! There's no doubt
about that. Why. it was so worm eaten
when I bought it that I had to have
new back and new seat and three new
legs made for it.''-Tit-Bits.
Good Radiance Wake up, Henry.''
cried the good woman, in the dead of
night There's a burglar in the house.
just heard him in the dining room =
Good Henry replied, sleepily, If we
don't disturb him maybe he'll take
away that chaing dish of yours
Philadelphia Press.
Jenkins has Just written book on
How to Succeed
I wonder if 1t Will be a success %
1t ought to be. Jenkins has failed
at everything se.''-Life.
She-'There is nothing like a good
dinner to cheer one up, is there ?'' He
alarmed at her order)- Well-er-it
depends upon who pays for it!''-Life.
She-'T wonder, Harry. if you would
marry again if [ should dep He
You little silly, don't you see that
couldn't marry again unless you did
die?"-Boston Transcript.
During the -She-"B,1t
you must not believe all these stories
about the missionaries in China. They
are helping your poor countrymen to
save their souls The Chinaman-
May bel Only thing poor country
men have left!"-Puck.
Purchaser want to buy a pair of
window, and labelled The best in the
world " Shopman-s'Very good; they
cost ninepence a pair; but if you want
sonething really strong and lasting, I
would recommend you to take these
here at elevenpencei''- Bits.
Simple Enough.-''How did you at
tain the reputation of being SO very
profound?' inquired the habitual ques-
toner. BY making the idea in a poem
difficult to discover" answered the
great author And by what method is
this best accomplished" by not put
ting any idea into Washington
Star.
giddy and thoughtless They don't con-
sider the future
a fo sspe s9esg Ro6h we to my pe asar @
time thinking of roast mutton.-Puck
What saving Of. time and other
things there would be-, remarked the
could take his first ocean voyage and his
first smoke at the same time '-Yonkers
Statesman.
Wifee-What do you suppose baby is
The Brute s'pose he's thinking. about
something to cry about tonight. Tit
Father-Young man, when I tell you a
thing want you to understand that
Georgie- Forgiye me, paw. I wuz think
n ABOUT sum thlngs you tell ma sum
Her Mother-How are his table man
Ethel-His table manners are all right,
but his telephone manners are SIMPLY
awful.-Judge.
First Church Member would weed
Second Church NfemberIoh. think you
are too radical Why, some of the best
church members I know are heretics.-
Chrome-Didn't ] understand you to say
artist2
Hawse- That's what I said whether you
understood it so or not.
ehro IN guess you're mistaken
know the first principles
Hawse-And that's all you know about
with a pair of scissors and that act saved
half dozen lives.-Detroit ~ree Press.
Some people, said Uncle Eben.
doesn't seem to take no special interest
pin disagreeable. Washington Star
Il remember that man. said the OBJ
servant waiter when his income couldn't
have been more than 81 900 a year. He
must be making at least $4,000 now"
NO doubt of it. He used to give me a
5O-eent tip, and now he only gives me
nickel.'-Catholic Standard
II noticed he was Unusually formal and
circumspect in his behavior, . she told her