The Iola register., 1901-03-08

Cedarvale has granted an electric
light franchise, finding the moon and
iirehies very unreliable.
-Four Mormon elders are trying to
persuade Abilene society to try du-
pllcate matrimony as a game.
The Chanute Times includes in its
market reports: "Spring poetry 5
cents line for the next 90 days"
Pleasanton is voting on a $40, 900
bond issue to build an electric light
plant and improve the waterworks
The sentiment of the Severance
News relative to remittance for sub
scrlption is that "if you are due, do"
Coffeyville is watching a case in
court entitled 'Brown--Pellet." Brown
pellets not infrequently disturb repose
A formerly of Linn county man has
written a book "What happened to
| Wigglesworth." 1t is said TO be very
clever.
A corn cob with fuse attached tos-
sed into a Dexter joint drove more
men off the pike to Hades than ten
sermons.
The Observer says that Pleasan-
ton man sent 81 east for o. first class
fire escape and received copy of the
Testament.
So far the state legislature has ap-
propriated $500, 900, largely due to
needs of state institutions which have
been neglected.
George Washington was never hon
1 npnH in Wichita ha thia
nearly all the merchants closing half
a day on the hatchet.
The Pate Crowe.--Cud stunt at
Omaha has degenerated. at Westphalia
into a demand for % cents worth of
Old Virginia Cheroots.
1t is not unusual nowadays. for a
Kansas paper simply to refer to
her" And most readers don't need
! hatchet to crack the nut
Learning that Mrs. Nation is, atwin,,
the Atkinson Globe exclaims "Mer-
eiful heavens. Are there two of
them"
A deal for an S0-acre farm nearly
fell through at Alma because the
buyer Insisted on paying all cash and
the seller insisted on a $500 mortgage.
A. recount by the judges took the
butter banner from Kansas and gave
it to Minnesota. At any rate Kansas
may claim to have ''lost bya hair'''.
The only automobile owned in Kan
sas belongs to d. w. Blaine of Pratt
and they say he tossed sack of oats
under the seat before taking his first
ride.
Name an important thing that did
not exist 100 years ago" said the
professor of hist ory in the Preston
schools. Me" responded the brig
boy i'm The front row.
The Oklahoma man who married
Miss Rohr of Burlington ought to
join the Don't Worry Club. He will
probably be sitting up nights with a
big roar one of these days.
The Salina Body Brace company,
which started few years ago very
modestly, is now spending $40, 900 an
nually in advertising and isn't half so
modest, even with its pictures.
The Toronto Republican advocates
making local bootlegger believe in
printers ink. The editor suggests
ink and feather, and offers to furnish
the ink. If the ink is applied the be-
! lief will doubtless come.
After being guest at the landlord
expense at the hotel table, the Colony
Free Press man says that all fear of
earthly trouble has passed from his
heart and to prove it says the table
is one of the best set in the state.
Newton Kansas: 81 cannottalxe any
risk" said the housewife as she hid
the plated spoons in secret drawer
and then pinned her gold watch on
the front of her dress and marched
down town.
LaCygne is tighter than drum.
All the joints got scared out and the
town bank went broke. The town
soaks now swap eggs at the grocery
forf bitters and are trying to tide over
the stringency.
An enterprising jointist has opened
up a place five miles south of Win
| field, just across the state line.
| Those who have tried it say that five
mile tramp beats pretzels or herring
as thirst producer.
The nerves of the editor of the
! Cherryvale Republican are alright. by
"A mistake in the makeup a continued
story was stopped and another start
ed, but love stories are very similar
and he let it go and nobody caught
on.
The temperance revival is on at
| llmporia. \ man who owned the
site OF the brewery established in an
early day at a cost of $50, 900 by Mr..
Mackey, has not only torn down the
buildings but is digging up the cell
lars.
The following lines occur in the
novel now raging at Independence:
Gerald HARRISON painted heavily.
The close atmosphere of the little arp
partment constrained his splendid
lungs. He went to the window, open
ed it and threw out hismassive chest"
A Mitchell county boy has written
his mother that the sunhower seed she
sent to him in the philiDDineS is grow