The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1901-11-02
ROMANCE AND REALITY.
Surprising Experience of a Humor.
list Who Believed in His
Own Jokes.

He was professional humorist and
was making his first call upon a young
lady whom he had met at social gath
ering. Mr.. Farfech was high up in his
profession, but his duties were SO
arduous that he had no time for the
social amenities of life, and this was
his first experience in that line, says
the Chicago Tribune.
The girl happened to be looking out
of the window as the visitor reached
the gate, and she observed his move
mcnts with considerable curiosity.
He opened the gate carefully, paused
and then whistled softly. Then he
came up the path slowly, looking to
the right and left over his shoulder at
short intervals, and when he reached
the porch and laid his hand on the
doorbell he heaved great sigh of re-
lief.
You are i'll, Mr.. Farfech?" said she,
apprehensiyely, as she took his hat and
coat.
NO." he replied, promptly, "but
| confess l was little afraid of the
dog"
The dog?" She looked surprised.
"Why, we have no dog"
NO dog!" he repeated, blankly.
"Why, l thought-that is All, yes
to be sure
Hardly had he seated himself when
voice from a distance called "Mary!"
He gave a little jump, and then
smiled.
Your mother, presume" said he.
'Shc is coming in to--cr-make few
remarks"
MA? o, not at all. Why should
she?'
She went out of thereon, and dur
ing her absence bright boy of about
IL made his appearance in the hall.
"Ah," said the visitor, "you are
Miss Delivers brother"
YES, sir" said the boy, politely.
II am Mr.. Farfcch, l suppose you
have heard your sister speak of me.
Come. now, my little man"
II do not remember hearing her
mention your NAME" replied the boy,
as he passed on, leaving Mr.. Farfech
staring i'll a puzzled way.
Presently the young lady returned
and Mr.. Farlcch was surprised to no.
ticc that she did not turn down the
gas. and when. after some CONVERSE
ton, he asked her TO sing for him, she
did so without any excuse or COM
planning of sore throat
After an hour of singing and con-
vcrsation an idea suddenly dawned
upon him, and he began to paw under
the sofa.
"What is the mattrr?" asked the
young Lady, in apparent astonish-
mcnt.
"llush! not world" said he, with
chucklc. "I'll snake him out in a
minute"
"snakc him out? Really, Mr.. Far
fcch-"
THAT'S all right. I'm on to these
tricks. Your young brother is under
the sofa, and is going to jump out pres
emily and say something rude. They
always do"
"Mr. Farfcch," said the young lady,
with dignity, 81 have only one BROTH
or, and he has gone to n meeting of the
ing under Il sofa, never heard of such
n thing"
Mr.. Fnrfcch passed his hand over
his brow and murmurcd: "I do not
understand this ut ALL"
Another half an hour passed. The
young lady's mother did not come in,
and he felt as one in n trance. Then
he frightened up as he heard a gruff
voice in Il back room.
"Yomr father" he asked, inouirinr.
ly. "Pntting on his heavy boots, I
supposr"'
"Why should he put on his boots
Mt this time Of night? ?" asked Miss Dol
liver, wondcringly.
"Or, perhaps" he suggested, che is
getting down his shotgun?"
shotgun? ! never knew pa had a
gun. Really, Mr.. Farfcch, you have
the most extraordinary ideas"
"Pardon me-" he muttcrcd, "but all
this is so strangc-so different from
what i. VIII you sing again?"
She did her best to entertain him,
but it was plainly to Ire seen that he
was i'll at ease. lie talked almost ut
random, and she wondered where was
that brillinncy which she had so much
admired in his writings. Finally, it
drew on to 1 o'clock. and, as his eve
caught the timcpiccc, he frightened up
for the last time
DWELL. Miss Dolivcr," he said, MS he
arose, 81 suppose here is where you
sing Five O'Clock in the Morning or
There Are Moments When We Wish to
BE Alone"
II am not acquainted with either of
those songs, Mr.. Farfech," she replied,
calmly. care you really going? Why,
it is not late. O., we'll; if you must. I
hope you will call again soon"
AS he passed down the walk, he
said, frvcrshly: "No gun-no kick
no bad brother-no mcddlcsome moth
er--gas up high-no hints to travel.
This is-this must be dream"