The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

ton" SAID the accident insurance >oljc-
itor. "rxcept-
H.. spoke in confidential, you-Ser-
W-it-iS-yourSelf tone OF voice.
'':hat OF innocent bys1anlerS. We
are l:ianthropic and all that bu, we ar
no; foolish. -11arperS Bazaar.
V-"Who discovered the law Of gray
ity from tn" fall of an appIe:'
A.--"Paris.'
Q.-~"What is sarcasm:'
-\.-"A sore on your boIy.'
mails" ''harle1uinade'' "a kind of drink
"a dilemma "a medicine" ''citadel' "a
sort Of chief policeman ''neutral' ii
kind of reptile" and "eulogy" IA chap
who feels bumps on your head"
"Juggernaut, a mountain in Switzer-
land" glacier" as "a member Of Win
doWs;" "prE, is "a little boat and the
'Sapphira was a high priest
"thamois are kind OF big tea>."
The Milky Way" is 1.-The thick creamy
stuff on the top Of the milk
"Iableaux vivants' means "hotei din
ner.'
"Elopement" is "the opposite to al!o-
pathy. "--CoiIecton Made by London
Head Master.
Jack Forchen-H unt-"Yes, she reject
ed me. and all because Of bad break
l made when l was proposing
Dick Ascunl--''What was that:'
Jack Forchen-Hunt-"On: ! told her
she was 'one in a thousand. She thinks
she's one Of the Four NATURALIZATION
lie Standard.
just after the fall Of Bloemfontein
soldiers were called upon, owing to the
scarcity Of civilians. to work the rail
way. The weary men were lying in
camp one night after Il hard days work.
when sergeant called out:
Any of you men want to put your
names down as railway porters drivers,
stokers or for any other appointment con-
nected with the railway?''
The silence was broken only by snorcs.
Then ono Tomm: slowly raised his head
and drOW>ily muttercd:
| "Iut me down as a sleeper. - London
Spare Moments.
Nervous Lady Passenger Ito lleckhan,D
-"Have you ever seen any worse wealth
| or than this, Mister Sailor?"
Deckhand-"Take a word from an old
salt: mum: the weather's never very bad
a-makiny henquirics about it.'-Tit- Bits.
heres a state Of things! Mrs. Greene
called upon Mrs. Gray, and before they
| nave chance to say anything in comes
Mrs. Brown. The problem is as to the
separattion@of the ladies'. If Mrs. Greene
goes, she will leave Mrs. Brown and Mrs
| Brown goes. she will be the subject of
Mrs. Gray's and Mrs. Grcene's CONVEX
satlon. II her two visitors 20 away to-
gether. then Mrs. Gray will be the sub
ject of conversation between those two
ladles. There is only. one solution: Mrs.
| hnr
with her visitors, just for a walk.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
patience-.I always like to SEQ tho
prices printed on the menu card opposite
each dish, when I'm with WILL
Patricc-"Why so?''
oh. if the prices are not printed I'm
afraid of ordering something Cheap
| 1OnkerS Statesman.
\ young man contemplating matri-
m"nial felicity took his fair intended e
the home of his parents that she might
be introduced to the old folks.
This is my future wife, said the
young man. proudly. turning to pater
familas. who was canny Scot ''Eow.
father. tell me candidly what you think
| of her.
The old man eyed the bushing bride
elect critically for fully two minutes.
then answered with deliberation: "Wcll.
John. | can only say you have shown
much better taste than she has. Fit
Bits.
;. ".Oh: mamma" cried Tommy. Evil
lies pulling the pussy'S tailr'
HES very bad boy to do that" said
mamma.
Yes. and he's selfish too: cos he
won't let mo pull it at l.''-Philadelphia
Press.
You use lots of my milk, don't you?'
Quered the mlkman, as he peered
through the screen and saw Mr.. Crouch
man at the breakfast table,
Yes growled that individual, Il eat
lots of bread and milk
We'll said the milkman: trying hard
to be pleasant, Its pretty healthy, I
guess
Yes" answered Grouchman, "and
| there's another thing in its favor. It af-
fords me such an elegant opportunity to
cast my bread upon the waters. I'm
dianapolis Sun.
'Don't YOU miss your husband very
much now that he is away?''
"Oh, no: At breakfast I just stand
half the time l really forget he isn't
there. -Tt-Bts.
YES said the fair young girl Il had a
great many alphabetical court>hips while
was in the country this summer
''Indeed?" he murmured. not knowing
what else to say, but being anxious to
get 1T the next paragraph.
YES" she continued. You know |
would roll my eyes. and then the jays
had to follow the eyes. didn't they?'
After repeating the alphabe up to the
II. j part. we came to the conclusion
that the fair young thing knew whereof
she spake.-Baltimore American
. Mrs. Henpekt (scornfully)-'I don't in
tend to live with you any longer. l shall
get DIVORCE
Henpekt (humbly)-"I wish. my dear.
You would get me one. tOo."-Town
Topics.
| -:O:-
Mamma Ito Freddie. just returned