davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
A Promoter,s HumOr.

Charles r. Flint has Il quaint Yankee
humor which is as well developed today
as in his school years. In the polythech-
mic institute the markings were on the
One day group of boys were looking at
the new bulletin in which one of the
hopeless dullars of the class was marked
Sixty-siX.
Flint said slowly:
"Sixty-six, that's the very number of
our year, and I hope when we get to
'99 Jack will receive that fgurei'
Once Sanctfrnonious person remarked:
Children should never be allowed to
play with toys on Sunday"
May they not play with religious
toys?' he queried
There are no religious toys, sir"
Excuse me, there are!'
'FWhat are they, then, sir?'
''Noahs arkS."
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
LINES TO BErTY,s EASTER BONNET.

Behold a vision sweet and rarei
1t sits upon the chestnut hair
That frames a charming face and fair
AS e'er was fashioned.
A face with eyes of deepest brown
Their like it not in all the town
A face that merits the renown
OF odes impassioned.
All, Providence was passing kind
When with face so sweet, refined,
All other graces 1t combined
In rare perfection.
And what a lucky chap were he
Who might, with due humility,
Proclaim: This prize belongs to me
Hath my protectionl
Moreover, what fool am I,
If coward-like, I fail to try
To be that lucky chap or die
BY Jove! I'll do it!
I'm going to ask this very night
The bonnet? I'd forgot it quite:
Some other day I'll have to write
Those verses to it.
The Smart Set.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

atitution Of the country so that United
or the people. When two-thirds OF the
states pass resolutions asking congress
to call a convention for that purpose it
must be done If that is all there Is to
do, why in the name of common sense
have they not done 1t before, instead of
moving at the senate for it's dereliction
IN this behalf? Pennsylvania and Ore
such convention to submit an amend
ment providing for the election of sena-
tors by direct vote of the people The
minnesota legislature has passed reso-
lGtlon favoring such election by direct
vote, but whether it calls for constitu-
t1onal convention or not we do not re-
call. II not, such resolution, in accord
ance with those Of Oregon and Penn
sylvania. ought to be adopted at once.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Not only has emigration from Germany
practically stopped, but there is a strong
influx of foreign laborers into the en-
pire. Within the last three months
10000 Galicians have come to Germany
Galicfa is one of the Polish provinces of
Austria and only one of the various
countries that send emigrants to Ger
many. The Galician laborers mostly go
to the large estates of eastern Germany,
where it is almost impossible to obtain
farm laborers as the native population
is rapidly moving into the cities to work
in the factories. There is also a strong
emigration to Germany from Russian
Poland. Denmark and Italy, In view of
these facts the talk about hard times in
Germany looks like fish story.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
terest them in these most recent schemes

terest them in these most recent schemes
of legislative activity, or whether. both
schemes being designed for the advance
ment of the pecuniary interests Of mem
bers of the Republican party. they will
quietly pass them by as unworthy of the
consideration of intellects which are
wont to wrestle with such problems as
the reclamation of arid lands and the
laying of oceanic cables
The whole subject is one of a large
measure Of contemporary interest. Were
the G o b to think of these two dis
graceful measures in connection with the
interests of the taxpayers. 1t might lay
itself open to the charge once made by
that prince of local reformers Capt. Nc
Cardy, when he observed that the
Glob e's views of such matters are al
ways ANlored by party political preiu-
dice.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
MONDAY GLOBE CHANCES.

Minnesota should be well represented
at the Buffalo exposition or not at all.
Our state is one of the few possessing
both water and rail connections with
that city. Minnesota is a great state IN
resources of mine, forest, soil and water
it is equal to the best in the Union It
has climate adapted to the develop
ment of the best specimens of human
and animal life on the globe. We are in
the heart of the continent we are pretty
nearly the hub of the whole business.
We can't afford to be small or niggardly
If we cant be put off at Buffalo a fun
grown sovereign state, don't let us go as
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Irrigation in wisconsin.

The practice of irrigation Is gradually
invading Eastern regions. Large tracts
of market garden lands near some of the
large cities of the East are regularly
watered by artificial means, and the
practice is growing. A trial is now being
made in Wisconsin along this line. which
has the support of the experiment station
which has already demonstrated that
money can be made by trrigating even
in humid climates
If the test is successful, says the Mil
waukee Sentinel, there is no reason why
it should not be extended almost indei-
nitely. The Wisconsin river alone would
furnish water enough to irrigate large
extent Of country. Owners of unproduc-
tive land will be quick to see the bene-
fit of the plan.
The benefits of irrigation in arid re-
gions are well known. 1t is also certain
that in seasons of plenteous rain tho
sandy lands in Wisconsin produce excel
lent crops. while in dry seasons they fail
to make returns to the farmer
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

some improvement tonight In the con-
dition of Maurice Barrymore, the actor,
who is a patient In the Bellevue insane
pavilion. The newspapers were given to
Mr.. Barrymore, but not until all refer
ence to him was cut out. AT late hour
tonight he was resting more quietly than
at any time since his admission.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
WHAT is THE MATTER WITH VIII.
LIAM?

There is something wrong in the in
William has made serious blunder.
Whether the dramatic William was act
ing part, Or whether he had been eat
ing mince pie and in his dreams saw
the grizzly shape Of insurrection, it is
impossible at this date to determine.
The German press is inclined to think
that the verbal outbreak was caused by
mince pie or bad liver.
Tt is possible that William with the
keen scent of personal interest has
shifted trouble from afar. 1t is possible
that the revolution that is beginning TO
assume formidable proportions in Rus
STA has it's propaganda in the apparently
loyal precincts of the fatherland. It Is
possible that Germany as well as Rus
STA sleeps over volcano which may
break into activity any day.
Count Tolstoi, last November, stated
openly that Russia would be shaken by
a revolution that would be far-reaching
dove of peace was brooding in every
niche and corner Of the empire.
This pessimistic outbreak of the spec
tacular autocrat of Europe is timely. at
least 1t gives the world something to
| think and talk about. The South African
war, the Chinese situation. Manchuria
| and Korea and even the internal dis
turbances in Russia were getting stale.
The audience was becoming listless but
William has opened new scene with a
speech that promises we'll for the balance
of the4 act.
The incomprehensible features of the
ernperor's position is that it gives the lie
to the repeated assurances of his pre-
mier, Won Buelow.
Can it be that the chancellor was alb
sorbing too much of the attention OF the
werld to suit his sovereign? There may
be something in that.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Cats. Etc.

why" asked the Unconscious Imbe-
Gle, lis woman dressed up like q cat:"
The Lay Figure courteously gave it up.
''Wen. a cat gets mad if you rub her
the wrong way"
"And woman dressed up?" interposed
the Lay Figure, eagerly.
well a woman dressed up is Offend
ed if people don't rubber just about so.'
AS for the others, they smoked vio<
lently, but IN silence.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Paper by Mark Twain.

York, with offices at $50 Nassau street,
has. by permission, printed in pamphlet
form an article by Mark Twain, entitled
''To the Person Sitting in Darkness.
which appeared in the North American
Review. The league will send a copy to
any one writing for it and enclosing the
postage.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Climatic CURIOSITY.

Baltimore American
Mrs. Nation expresses a desire to meet
Cincinnati's chief of police in heaven.
Perhaps she wishes to ascertain his op1li-
ion of the change of climate.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Peculiarities.
Washington Star.

Washington Star.
what kind of a man is your employ
er?' asked one young man
''Oh he's peculiar" swered the other.
HE thinks that simply because he has
satisfied his customers and made money
he knows more about how his business
ought to be run than / do
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
On the Gas Man.

Baltimore American.
Robbs-There goes a fellow who makes
extravagant statements.
Dobbs-He looks respectable. Who is
he?
Bobbs-1 don't know his name He
writes our gas bills
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Philadelphia Bulletin.
anybody could tell that Elizabeth had
been taking vocal lessons She sings
just like professional now"
"Oh, yes; you can't understand word
she says any more"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Ccring fbr Lame Ducks.

Fulda Free Press
Mckinley has provided for most of the
lame ducks who went down on March 4,
and will provide for the rest in good
time. Mac is a kind old boy Probably
he would give even Pettigrew an office
if he asked 1t.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
A southern inquiry.

Nashville American
Mr.. bryan offers Mr.. Cleveland a re-
ward Of Sc for clear definition of Demo-
cratic principles. What does he want
with EN-!
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Ornaments to show the Natives.

ST. Louis Globe-Democrat
Secretary Root and Gen. Corbin are
going to the Philippines. 1t is to be
presumed that each will carry a flag ana
constitution
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Renviile Star-FarIaer.
The people OF these United States,
it in their power If they act wisely TO
in a few years at least change the con-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
PRINTED FOR FUN.
Extremely So.

Philadelphia Press
Mrs. Nexdore- bought a new piece OF
music for my daughter to play and
guess she'll master it soon. She was try
ing all afternoon,
Mrs. Pepprey-Indeed she was. Very.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Odeu Is One Reason.

Philadelphia Ledger.
Mark Hanna will not engineer B. 8.
Odell's presidential campaign-for more
reasons than one
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The makeup of the St. Louis fair COM
mission shows how generously Mclin-
ley rewards those congressman that sup
port his policy. This method of buying
up congressman with pork may not be
bribery, but it is just as effective.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
Community of Interests.


Doesn't it make you furious when an
other man turns into you on his wheel?"
mot if he gets sufficiently bruised
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
viii Come Acain.

Baltimore American.
Mr. Plat is another of those beings
who, crushed to EARTH will rise again
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
THE PRESS IS SAYING
No Need to worry.

NO Need to WOrry.
Atlanta Constitution
Mr.. Rathbone's bondsmep are reported
to have thrown UP their hands, but the
major needn't worry. His good friend
Hanna is still the power at Washington.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
No Rose without Its Thorn

NO Rose Without Its Thorn.
Washington Post.
Even fighting Plat has it's draw
backs Gov. Odell has accumulated the
unqualified admiration of DR.. Parkhurst
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01
REPORT From the Sick Room,

Boston Advertiser.
With care and good nursing T. c. Platt
will be able to get out again by warm
weather.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The adoption of the reconcentrado
policy in the Philippines may get us into
trouble again with Spain, which claims
ali exclusive right to that policy.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The finland divorce bill which prohib-
its the marriage of divorces within six
months after the granting of the decree
is sound in principle and deserves to pass
Parties that have been really unhappy
In their previous marriage relations will
be quite content to wait six months be-
fore again taking the risk of mourning
the same misery But those who cast
aside a faithful life partner merely to
crafty some new fancy of their licen-
tious f1ckleness, who look upon marriage
as legaiized Notwithstanding are the
ones who wish to marry again the very
next day after securing a divorce, and
the more restraint placed upon that class
the better.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The vandals that mutilate books and
magazines at the public library deserve
to be taught lesson that will stay with
them.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

When Weyler introduced the reconcen-
trado system in Cuba, our administration
organs had regular duck fits and foamed
with indignation. The unhappy natives
were driven out of their homes to endure
the fortunes of starvation in military
camps and towns, and those papers, as
they reported the details, fared into a
white heat of righteous wrath. Now
that our officers have adopted the same
policy in the Philippines never a word
do those papers say, but talk with -sanct-
imonious JUNCTION about benevolent as
similation'' and the duty of Christian
nations"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The Last of His Race.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Aguinaldos race appears to be run.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Mr.. and Mrs. Reuben Hunter, of Lib"
erty township, Jefferson county, To-, have
been married seventy-two years. Until
others are heard from they are the
record bearing married couple in the
United States y
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The Goulds, Morgans and Rockefellers
can have full dinner pals for some time
to come. The watering and booming OF
railroad stocks have added several
hundred million dollars to the bank ac-
counts of the three families.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The we'll known. British scientist, Lord
Kelvin, recently .fdeclared that he had
not read a book for thirty years. and
in reply to an interview said: 81 read
nothing but the daily papers. Well, per-
haps this is an loverstatement; it may
not be thirty years but it is a7long time.
OF course, I am continually referring to
books, but j. have not the time for
steady reading, except the daily papers -
Read the Globe regularly and you
will find out a good deal about every
thing.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The last issue of the st. Paul Medical
Journal says that Hiler Horizons OPPOSE
ton in the state senate to the medical
bill during which he offered "gratuitous
insults" to the medical profession will
not be forgotten
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Today, April /. is the anniversary al
William I4arvegs in 1878, an English
anatomist, celebrated for his discovery
of the circulation of the blood: of Otto
Won Bismarck, in 1915, the distinguished
Prussian Statesman and maker OF the
German empire
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

D. Flanagan. Robert Fairchild, Max Ro-
sen, William Gillow
Prof Celstin, teacher of music
Mr.. Charles A BigeloW
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

an infant. We are the sixth state IN srze
In the Union. We were the thirty-second
IN order of admission into the Union.
FIFTY years ago we were tkirty-third In
population. Now VIC are eighteenth.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

This is April fools day. when innocent
triekery aboffnds, the origin of which
goes back tpo the dawn of history It
seems to be1mlyfte universal custom
throughout Christendom to play amiably
foolish pranloson the first day Of April
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

A recent issue of the Herald, published
at S1nfthville, Ind, contains the follow
ing notice: There Will be an ice cream
supper given by, Mrs Susan Howard
next Thursday night in the Christian
church parloFi to- assist in raising funds
for the funeral expenses of her hus-
band"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The Calcutta Qndial commissioners re-
Gently advertised for bids for locomn-
tives The lowest English bid was $7.720
for each engine, to be delivered in nine
months. An American bidder offered to
deliver the engines in six months and
make them for $4,000 No need of spend
ing money in trying to force trade by
arms uron any people. If we can give
good goods and make right prices we
can trade eangMhere regardless of
whether we own-the country or not
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Our legislature so far has passed sew
enteen bills making changes in the pure
food laws. Hereafter parties who make
imitation or adulerated vinegars or
liquors are liable to both fine and i'm
prisonment Heretofore it was only q
fine. eE
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

The great dam across the Nile is finish
ed, at a cost of $4,000, 900. It raises the
river about sixty-six feet above it's usual
level and will practically have the eff
feet of creating lake IA miles long and
fifty-four wide, and storing up billion
tons of water. There will, therefore, be
no high Nile" or Glow Nile" hereafter.
Over 5,000,e00 acres of land now under
fair cultivation will be converted into
land Of the highest quality for the pro-
duction of corn! sugar, cotton and rice,
with no danger from either flood or
drought. Egypt will now become a
formidable campetitor in the markets of
the world It's people will dread no fam
ine .d5
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

A million pounds of copper wire was
shipped from Connecticut recently to be
used IN building a trolley road in India
The consignment filled twenty-sev IN
cars. The factory underbid English
mills. India is controlled by England,
but Germany and the United States are
beginning to get the trade The open door
policy makes colonies an expensive lux
TRY.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-04-01

Experimenters in Southern California
have succeeded in producing a navel
lemon, absolutely seedless, and possess,
ing the characteristics and advantages
of the orange after which it is named.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07
Astounding Discovery.

From Coopersville. Mich, comes word
Of wonderful discovery Of a pleasant
tasting liquid that when used before
retiring by any one troubled with bad
cough always insures good nights rest.
1T will cnre the congh too" writes Mrs.
s. Ilimelbnrger, "ior three generations
OF our family have used Dr. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption and never
found its eqnal Tor Coughs and Colds. =
It's an nurivaled lie-saver when used for
desperate lnng diseases. Guaranteed
bottles 30 cents and 400 at the Condor
Pharmacy. Trial bottles free.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07

Smoke an "APs Choice cigar at the
Condor Pharmacy The best 5.cent cigar.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07
lumned on q Ten Penny Nan.


The little daughter OF Mr.. j, N. Powell
jumped on an inverted rake made OF ten
penny nails, and thrust one nail entirely
through her foot and second one half
way through. Chamberlain's Pain Balm
was promptly applied and five minutes
later the pain had ceased and no more
suffering was experienced. In three
days the child was wearing her shoe as
usual and with absolutely no discomfort.
Mr., Powell isa well known merchant
Of Forkland, Va. Pain Balm is an anti
septic and heals such injuries without
maturation and In one-third the time re-
quired by the usual treatment. For sale
by Hudson Pharmacy.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07
Renew Your Subscriptions.

Subscriptions for all the leading news
papers and periodicals published In the
United States or any other country on
earth will be received at the GLoBr Office.
Save postage, time and trouble By leay-
ing the amount with Us anu We will
attend to the business for, you Call
when in town aud renew your subscrip.
tions to your iavorites for 1901. If
Subscribe for the GLoBE.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07
saml-Annual statamant.

Tho semi.annuAl statement Of the
financial condition Of Gillian county Tor
the six mouths ending Sept. 30, 1901. 10
before ns.
The clerk's statement shnws that dur.
Ing the time above named tie county
court allowed claims TO The amount Of
si2oiS. ~ for which warrants we're drawn
OF this amount s0j7l.st Is charged To-
the roah and bridge account. ts0j.O3 10
pauper account, $50 to criminal account
eircnIl court, $4,000 10 criminal account
Justice court, t4b 05 10 insane account,
t2l5e0 to jury account aud tIois.00 TO
coyote bounty account. The femalhlng
t3631.iS Ii charged to county officials
salaries and court house and fail ex.
penses.
The sherItf's statement shows That
that official has received and turned
over TO the county treasurer 1862, 81.
OF this amount $l6sss.l7 Is credited to
State, County and School taxes and the
remaining sl7j4.69 to various school dis.
tricts Of the county.
The treasnrer,s report shows that he
has received and paid ont s30S83.6s on
the general fund aud s9lSS.72 on the
school fund.
The summary statement gives the to-
tal liabilities Of the county as t332is 80
and the resources Of the county AZ
$1,000 70. OF this last amount s50i0.73
Is 10 the hands Of the county treasurer,
applicable TO the payment oi county
warrants aud the remaining sl3450.00 is
given AS the estimated amount oil un.
paid taxea.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07

Condon Pharmacy has a fine line Of
new iewelry.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07

"i.mt wlntsf 40 inflnt child n mine
had Group lies slolens iofn, = says EIdet
john " Rodgsft q Christian Evangelist,
Of Filley. Mo- - gave her few doses
ot Chambeflain's Cough Remedy and ia
sFort time alI danger sas past and the
child recovered" This remedy not opIs
cnres cronp. but when given as soon as
the first syinptotna appear, will prevent
the atlack. II conlains no opinm or 9TH
or harmful snbstanee and may be given
ne confidently % 4 baby as ~ adnIt. For
sale by flndsun's Pharmacy.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1901-11-07

Cascara Jullettes cures constipation.
At Condor Pharmacy.