davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
The Porter,s oh.rit.bl. view.

Vhe fOftef'o Ohof1to0le view.
One by one the travellers entered the
sleeping car hound for the exposition.
Porter" said a fat man.
Eyes, sah."
''Put me off at Buffalo,"
The porter showed two rows of worries in
an affected grin.
"Dat's purity good, sah" he said
An "octopustic'' looking man came In and
smile twitching around the corners Of his
mouth.
Porter" he said.
"Yes, sah."
'Put me off at Buffalo"
Then came woman-a brazen wOmar-
who sprung the same old gag, followed by
the two travelling men, who drew cuts at the
further end of the car to see who would
have the honor of INDUCING in the with
cism. And through 1t all the porter smiled.
Finally. he came over to my birth and sat
down.
"Deys some mighty humorous people In
dis world, sah," he said.
Very" answered, as tall man, fault
lessly attired. came in with his head high
in the air and passed US without Z word.
The porter looked surprised.
"Say, boss" he said, following the tall
man with his eyes. do you s'pose It am
possible dat boy never heard Of de put-me-
Off gag?'
Its possible" answered. 'but not prob
able"
The porter lapsed into silence, and thought
for a moment, and then his face frightened.
Say, boss he suddenly exclaimed, "1've
got 1t. I'll bet 80 dat mans q 6outhanah.
an won't speak to niggah"-IHdianapolis
SUN.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28

ever held a colicky baby you must know
that right-handed man always holds the
little one over his left shoulder and vice
versa. Now We come to the COW. 1 have
for years been smelling these spots on mems
shoulders, and I know by the degree OF
sourness just what kind Of infants food OF
milk they are composed of. OF course. II
he hadn't backed out of the door when he
left home this morning his wife would have
seen the streak and called him in to have
it sponged off. So he must have kissed her
as he departed. and kept turning and smil-
ing back until he was SO far away that the
spots were invisible to her."
The great amateur detective then caught
a glimpse OF a man who wore a silk hat
and sack coat, and hurried after him to
make further observation-disclosures Record
Herald.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
sherlock Holmes, Jr.

"Hah.' said Sherlock Holmes, Jr., 1T is
as / expected
His companion stopped. mystified, and
asked:
What has happenedT
There" replied the great amateur de-
tective, pointing to a man who had just
passed them; ''he is the father of child
less than six months old that is troubled
with the collie. He has no other children
and is left handed; his wife is not very
strong, and they can't afford to keep a
nurse. They feed the child OH milk from a
Jersey COW. He kissed her when he left
, home this morning. and then walked half
backward to the street. smiling at her."
The other turned pale and asked:
Heavens, how do you know this? Is he
a friend Of yours?''
NO" said Sherlock Holmes,Jr. II never
saw him before. 1 have never heard his
NAME
But surely you can't expect me to be-
lieve there is anything in his personal APP
pearance 10 enable you to make this won
derful deduction?'
Eyes. One glance as he passed close to
us moment ago was sufficient. Really
you are very stupid not to notice these
things. They are SO simple. Now he is
! stopping to look in at that haberdasher' s
| window. We will pass behind him. Look
closely and see If there Is anything about
| him to indicate how ! have arrived at my
wonderful conclusion regarding him.
| After they had passed. the great detective
turned with look of inquiry to his COM
| panion.
NO" the latter said. II couldn't see
| anything that gave me the slightest clew."
II knew you wouldn't" Holmes answered.
There are three spots in the back of his
coat-or, rather, there is streak broken
into three parts on the back of his coat,
passing downward from the right shoulder
You can't guess how those spots came
there can you?"
NO" his companion confessed, II can't"
THAT is because you are not an eXper,
in the deducting business. He held his
baby over his shoulder, and 1t drooied
making that broken streak. Why did he
hold the child over his shoulder? Because
It was coicky. and holding 1t in that posi-
on relieved it. His wife would have hello
! over her own shoulder il she had not
oeen all tired out. which shows that she
is not very strong. II they could afford t.
keep nurse the father would not, OF
course. be compelled to hold the little one
up and pat it on the back. and If he were
an old hand at that sort of thing he would
take off his coat or put a towel over hi!
shoulder before holding the child UP. Il
that clear to your
wonderfully go" his companion replied
with ill-feigned admiration. "but how d.
you know the baby is under six months o
age, that the man is left handed, that they
feed the little one milk from a Jersey COW
that he kissed his wife and walked back
ward to the street this morning.
ct am coming to that" Sherlock Holmes
Jr., said, with a queer CLEAN In his wonder
full eyes. After a child Is six months oil
] it isn't likely to have collie. II you hay
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28

Among the members of the Court of APP
peals when that body was first elected by
the people at a spring election in 1870 was
Judge Martin Grover, quaint and curious
old man, whose eccentricities attracted at
tention wherever he was known, but whose
robust mind judicial fairness and intellectu-
al capacity compelled respect. That he was
an exceedingly odd old fellow may be gath
cred from the following anecdotes Of him:
when was young man. he said, II
used to take The Gospel Herald and Evan
gelical Magazine as 1t was called. 1t was
published in Utica. and was edited by the
Reverend A. B. Grosh. assisted by the
Reverend Dolphus Skinner. That paper
saved me hundreds of dollars.''
.'HowT' he was asked.
'Tll tell you," answered the Judge. up
at Angelica, Allegany County, where live,
the Methodists, the Presbyterians and the
Baptists used to get up frequent REVEALS
Of religion. They weren't satisfied to have
a nice revival among themselves-they
wanted to get me in. When they found
they couldn't, they insisted that should
help pay the expenses of converting the
other sinners. There's where The Herald
came in. could see 'em coming toward
ny once way up the street. And then I'd
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
THEN SHE BLusHED.


get out my Universalist papers. and WheD
party of 'em entered I'd appear 70 -
very much engrossed in studying ~
Herald. Good morning. Brother Grover.s
they'd say. Then I'd look up In appayQnt
surprise and return their greetin'. still hold
in onto my Universalist paper. Hou
oughter see the looks Of those good deacoast
They'd hem and haw and glance about ~
Office, and finally go away. without asa1U6
me to subscribe. If one was holder than
the others and demanded q subscription.
shut him up pretty quick by offerin' to lead
him some back numbers o. my UntversaltDe
Herald. But you don't believe that stu8Y
he'd say, sadly. No: not exactly I'd an
swer him: only I'm dOubtin' in my mind
IL II amt true Good mornin'. Brotlar
Grover he'd say. and go out And when
he'd gone I'd put up my papers and buckle
down to law again until the next dea0eu
came. 1t saved me hundreds Of dollars.
chuckled the Judge. land it only cost = .
year."-Utica Observer.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
SMILES.

Some folks talk" said Uncle Eben, '.s
like a bunch of firecrackers. 1t makes q
big sputter, but dar ain nufin' to show
fob it."-Washington Star.
.Tommie: Paw. what relashun II my
grammar t. your
Father: She's my mother-in-law, young
man; now don't remind me Of her again
while she Is here."-Ohio State journal,
Said a certain poor sick man named Proc
tor,
''If | do not shortly get better.
The calls of this fancy-priced DR..
Will make me forever his Dr."
Philadelphia Press.
Ibid you ever see fellow who enjoyed
the open cars as much as Briggs?'
Don't believe ever did,
'1'll bet you his idea Of paradise II some
thing on wheels, where all the seats are end
seats."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
First Doctor: Ibid you give Thugs the
treatment we decided upon?"
Second Doctor: Yes: and It nearly killed
| him.
What a narrow escaper'
ut was. indeed! 1t has taught me always
to collect in advance after ths!"-San Fran.
cisco Chronicle.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
Isu't 1,
cold
Oh. the .cei

On, the Ice!
Magnificent icei
1t stretches It's arms DER the lake in trice:
It's clear as jewel and solid as gold
And isn't 1t lovely? And isn't It cold?
II clogs up the bath-pipes as cool az you
please,
And wonderful icicles come with the freeze
Oh the ice, aa-
Magnificent ice!
That time you fell down on it-wasn't that
nice?
And isn't It great when it forms on the
street,
And makes you cut capers to keep on your
feet?
And isn't It Jolly to have and TO hold?
AND wouldn't IL freeze you?
Say.
IsH't IL
coldY
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
My Shadow.


1 have a little shadow that goes in and
out with me,
And what can be the use Of him is more
than can see,
He is very. very like me from the heels up
to the head,
And I see him jump before me when l
jump into my bed.
The funniest thing about him is the way he
likes to grow
Not ut all like proper children. which IL
always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller, like an
India rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets SO little that there's
none of him at all.
He hasn't got notion Of how children
ought to play.
And can only make a fool Of me in every
sort of way.
He stays SO close beside me he's coward
you can see.
I'd tnink shame to stick to nurse as that
shadow sticks to me!
One morning very early, before the sun was
up,
| rose and found the shining dew on every
buttercup.
But my lazy little shadow. like an arrant
sleepyhead.
! Had stayed at home behind me and was
| fast asleep in bed.
ROBERT Louis Stevenson.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
Pointed Paraxraphs.

An open-faced watch-a yawning police
man.
The dentist and the farmer are both prac-
teal stump pulers.
One of the duties of to-day 10 to qualify
yourself for tomorrow.
Be what nature intended you to be and
you will be a success.
He who borrows money Of his neighhor
never hears the last of It.
Paradoxical though it may seem, Q new
watch is a secondhand article.
1t is easier to approach luxuriss than II
is to back away from them again.
Men are like wagons-they rattle most
when there is nothing in them.
The war of the union begins shortly
after the marriage ceremony ends.
What some men live on II of less interss,
to the world than why they live on.
Throw physio to the dogs" says Shake.
speare. William evidently had no love fol
dogs.
Tho man who is looking for q fat ONCE
should visit the counting-room Of lard
factory.
When girl weighing $50 pounds answer.
to the name of "Birdie' the eternal fines,
of things gets an awful jolt-Chicagt
News.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
Wouldn't II Chiu You.

oh, the snow,
The beautiful snow!
II shivers and stakes as the blIzzards blow;
1t lips in your eyes and 1t flirts with your
ears,
And pelts on your nose TIL It fetches the
tears;
And isn't it grand when quart or a peck
OF the beautiful snow takes a scoot down
your neck?
Oh. the snow.
The beautiful STOW.
Isn't st nice on your fingers. though?
Isn't II fine as the jolliest news
When II drifts all around and gets into
your shoes?
And isn't It brazen. and isn't It bold?
And isn't 1t frigid?
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
The Young Man Wants Advice.

Ii was the second time that the hero
of the story had accompanied the young
lady home. She asked him IL he
wouldn't come in. He said he would.
Sarah took his hat. told him to sit down,
and left the room.
She was hardly gone before her mother
came in. smiled sweetly, and, dropping
down beside the young man, said:
Il always did say that II a poor but re-
spectacle young man fell in love with our
Sarah. he should have my consent.
The young man started with alarm!
She has acknowledged to me that she
loves you," continued the mother, land
whatever is for her happiness is for mine'
..I-I-haven't -" stammered the young
man.
"On,never mind: make no apology, know
you haven't much money. but, Of course.
you'll live in my house.
Il had no idea of -" he began
II know you hadn't, but it's all right. I"
continued Sarahs mamma, reassuringly,
With your wages and what the boarders
will bring in We shall get along as COM
fortably as possible"
The young mans eyes stood out like
hatpegs and he rose up and tried to say
something.
Never mind about thanks she cried, II
don't believe in long courtships. The SOth
OF May is my birthday, and 1t would be
nice for you to be married ON that day."
.put-buu-but -" he gasped.
There. therei don't expect any reply
she laughed. IN try and be a model moth
er-in-law. / believe I'm good-tempered and
! kind-hearted. though did once follow a
young man couple Of hundred miles with
| broomstick for agreeing to marry my
T, daughter and then backing out of the en-.
gagement
She patted him on the head and sailed
| out.
And now the young man wants advice
He wants to know whether he had better
get in the way Of a locomotive or Jumu
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28

When the worlds weight is on thy mind
And all its biack-winged fears alright,
Think how the daisy draws her blind
And sleeps without = light.
-Trederick LAaaheaano
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
Fall Flowers.

In the pageant Of flowers, the golden
aspect OF the early springtime has re-
appeared. Then the dandelion, with
radlating and radiant petals, and the
less pretentious buttercup, expanded
In shining yellow and dotted the land
scape in humility Of nowery presenta-
tion but In liberal abundance. Now
the goldenrod and the many varieties
of sunllower blossoms fare along the
hlllsides and dominate the prospect
in the glory OF their golden magnifi-
cence. In the noon of summer flowers
are red. When the great, tawny Sun
becomes maddenIng lover OF the
Earth, flushing 1t with fiery heat,
awakening In it throes OF responsive
energy, flowers take on the hue Of
crimson. In June and July the red,
red rose" expands its flight and soul
like wings" blooms in profusion, and
the shimmerlng land burns in the
intensity Of coloring and the heated
air is redolent with pleasant odors.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
A City Directory.

The Northwestern Directory Com
pany OF Minneapolis with @. w. Bell
in charge, assisted by A. e. Lamor-
eauX and T. f. Brown, are at work
getting out com bined business and
residence directory OF the city of Riv-
er Falls. They are now numbering
the houses in order TO make the In
formation in the directory definite
aud specific. The scale Of numbering
used is known as the Philadelphia
system, a scientific aud thoroughly
utilitarlan method. The city is diyid-
ed into sections, the divisions deter
mined by convenience. The num-
bering commences at base line, in
creasing by hundreds for each block,
the unit being 80 feet. In this city
Division street (the County Line
road is taken as the base line for all
streets running north and south and
Main street the base for streets run
ming east and west. Numbers on all
streets north of Division street will
require the addition OF the word
North" to make the designation
definite, as No. POS, North Main
street. South Of Division street no
defining adjective will be needed to
locate residences east OF the river
30s, Main street; All Third street.
For places west of the river the limit
ing adjective "West" will be needed
in the designation. The directory
will contain the names OF all resident
males over 81 years of age and Of fe-
males over IS. A directory of all the
churches, schools, lodges, BENEVOLENT
societies and business houses will be
given.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
c. St. M. g o. Ry.

Round trip rates TO New York, sale
every day until Oct. 20, 1901. Contin-
uous passage Ia either direction: one
stop over may be made each way.
Rates, sac. 40, $44.4 40 and $42.4O. For
further information inquire at ticket
office.
Pan-American exposition, Buffalo,
N. T., to November /, 1901. One fare
for the round trip, plus $1.OO. Sales
every day. Good to leave Buffalo
fifteen days from date OF sale. Ticket
must be executed at least two hours
before leaving time OF train selected.
Also one one-third fare for the round
trip, good to return twenty days from
and including date Of sale.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
Pierce County Fair.

The Pierce County Fair to be held
at Ellsworth Sept. Is, 10 and 20, will
present some novel and especially at
tractiye amusements. Exciting con-
tests OF speed, games of base ball,
shows, and music, will be projected
daily. Thursday and Friday there
will be the most wonderful balloon as
cension ever witnessed in the north
west. Aeronaut L. d. Esterbrooks,
the Cannon balloonist,n will ascend
in his mammoth balloon and when in
mid-air will be fired from the balloon
BY a cannon then making parachute
descent. This is a hazardous feat and
from its novelty, danger and spectac-
ular effect will be we'll worthy of
special effort to view.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given employers OF
my son Ed. Johnson that his earn
ings must be paid to me as he is under
age and left home without my con-
sent. SAM VINO JOHNSON.
Dated, River Falls, Wis, Aug, q, 1901
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
NOTICE.

viii the party holding tornado pol
icy No. IT'S of the Connecticut Fire
Insurance Co. please bring same to
my Office, as | have no copy of this
policy on my.books.
A. It. MORGAN.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05

For RENT. My flat where
| now live, 5 rooms, hot and
cold city water, bath, gas,
gas range, closets and sew
er, all in first-class order;
or will lease for a term Of
years including barn.
+. A. BRACKET.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05

For SALE. My family
horse. ten years old, robes,
harness, a good buggy, etc,
on time to responsible par
ties. Z. A. BRAoKETT.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
Something New.

Ladies' Belts and Chatelaine Bags
at the Millinery Emporium.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1901-09-05
Measure

By one of the Best Houses of Chi
cage.
Evening star., 1901-06-08

The announcement that Charles A.
Towne will deliver an address at Dallas
Texas, on the 4th Of July calls attention
to the fact that the great anniversary is
close at hand. Shall we hear from the ora
tors this year in periods of more than ordl-
nary eloquence? Will the Supreme Court
decisions in the insular cases prove espe-
cially inspiring? May we not expect the
anti-imperialists to appeal with unwonted
fervor to the memories of 70 and ask for
a new pledge to liberty? 1t is an off year
in politics, but 1t is always in order to be
patriotic.
Mr.. Towne's address ought to be an in
teresting one. He is now in Texas, looking
after oil interests, and bearing a full share
in helping to garner the fruits of the great
discoveries down there. The people are
all but drowned in their prosperity, and
strangers have rushed in by the thousands
to help share 1T Mr.. Towne represents
some of those strangers. and Of course has
his mind just now fixed on very sordid
things. Ten to one, at this moment he has
the dollar fixed above the man. But in
four weeks he may be expected to reascend
the heights and discourse freely upon the
subjects which have made him famous.
He Is an exceedingly bright man, and he
talks well at all times and on all topics.
On the same day, If we may trust the
dispatches Mr.. Bryan will speak at Madi-
son, Ind. There is no oil boom In that
state, but everything is In good shape
there, as everywhere, and Mr.. Bryan will
confront an audience well fed well clothed,
well housed and contented. What will he
say to the people? When he toured the
state in 1896 he assured them most earnest
| ly that prosperity would never return un-
| less hand in hand with free silver. When
| he visited the state last year he assured
them that the Filipinos would never accept
American sovereignty and that the Tagal
Washington would resist unto the death.
He was a prophet on neither of those occa-
sions. VIII he .attempt the role again
And IL he does, will the third deiiyerance
Evening star., 1901-06-08

into a personal encounter. 1t was q con-
sricuous display Of bad manners.
Then came the episode with Governor
McSweeney. Both designations were con-
ditional. and this left it open to the gov
ernor, both as governor and as the per-
sonal friend of Doth senator's. to offer q
suggestion in the premises. This he did in
excellent taste and temper. and in doing so
voiced the wishes of thousands OF people
in the state. not to mention the approval
that his action met with throughout the
country at large Mr.. McLaurin. who
meanwhile had recovered his composure,
received the suggestion with respect. and
rescinded his hasty action. But Mr.. TILL
man, still in high dudgeon. and still in
his own mind the boss of the RANCH"
turns upon the governor and reads him
such lecture as he had previously read
Mr.. McLaurin. IF the governor had been
a lackey, left at Columbia to do the sena-
tors bidding. Mr.. Ti1lman's tone would
hardly have been different
Governor McSwseney's reply stamps him
as man Of grit and sense and it ought to
strengthen him with the people of the COM
monwealth. If Mr. McLatirins return is
impossible, why not Governor McSweeney
for the Senate? His democracy Is accep-
table to the state, and his self-respect
ought to be-
Evening star., 1901-06-08

The South Carolina furry has not been
strated that. strong as he may be- Mr.
Tillman is not as yet the whole thing In
that state. There are men who do not re-
qutre his generalship. and they have reso-
luton enough to resent and resist his ef-
fort to dictate to them. 1t is a hopeful
sign. II there is not room enough for more
than one party IN the state. there ought to
BE- room enough for more than one leader
in that party. 1t would be whiting mat
terS down too fine to make one man-eyen
Mr.. Tillman-supreIne. But evidently to
such d complexion did Mr.. Tillman think
things had come.
The meeting at Nhich the explosion be-
tween Mr.. Tillman and Mr.. McLaurin oc-
CURED was called solely to hear the latter
explain the votes and speeches in the Sem
ate which had in some measure estranged
him from his party. The place was a dem
ocratic stronghold, and If there had been
a desire TO hear 8Ir. Tfllman on the same
subject an invitation would have been sent
him But regardless of this. and acting in
a spirit OF pure hravado and as il the
democracy everywhere in the state was un-
der his wing. Mr.. Tillman forced his way
upon the scene and turned what was in
tended to be discussion of issues into an
acrimonious personal dispute and almost