The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-01-12
HuMOR OF THE DAY.

Burglar Suddenly confronted by q
/ policeman Hello! here's a COP" Po-
licernan-sDon't let me interfere. Tn
not on duty tonight. Just dropped in tc
see the cook.''-Boston Transcript
Mature Relish-ssWel, little Jim, did
Uncle Jim seem to enjoy the carnival
too2' Yes, ma: say, ma. Unc' jim
took him an me into tn monograph
prize fight three times. indianapolis
Journal.
Unsatisfactory from the Start.-''Well
what about the new neighbours on
Edgar, it was the meanest moving in
barrelled up so 1 couldn't see a thing
they have.'-Detroit Free Press.
The FIatterer-Mrs. B.-sBut can't
best dress to three parties already. .
Mr.. B.-"Pshawl The dress doesn't
make a. bit of difference when you are
in it to look at, dear" She went
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin
Great joke on farley" What was
that?'' ssWent fishing and didn't catch
anything. Ordered a half-dozen bass to
be sent to his house, 50 that his wife
would think he caught en- When the
basket was opened, they turned out to
be bottled Bass. '-Tit-Bits.
with a deep-drawn sigh r,-.,.-L
What's. de matter?' asked Flooding
Pete, in alarm.
we've got muscles inside Of US that keeps
up an involuntary action Dey goes on
Worlxin,' whether we wants EN- to or not
Washington Star.
He Knew.-Sabbath school teacher
(striving to inculcate a love of TRUTH
Now, Willy, suppose you were to prom
Use your mother that you would come
right straight home from Sunday school,
and then did not do SO, what would you
be doing?" Willy Waters-"Goin' a.
swimmin', ma'am. Puck.
A Musical Instrument -Peddler
(who has met with an accident)-'.What
will I do nOW2 Effery wheel off my
wagon is broke" Summer Boarder (con-
solingly) Leave the tins in the wagon
just as it is, and perhaps you can sell II
to one of the boarding house keepers
for piano. New York Weekly
Willie-Just one more question, pa
Our Sunday school teacher says I'm
made of dust. Am I?
Pal guess not If you were you d
dry up once in a. while.-Philadelph
Press.
Professor returning home at night,
hears noise)-Is someone there?
Burglar (under the bed)-Nol
Professor-That's strangeI I was pos
tive some one was under my bed
Tid-Bits.
Binicus-One cannot believe every
thing he hears.
Cynicus-No: nor everything one
doesn't hear. About half of what one
takes for granted is false.-Puck.
what do you think of the plans for
that gigantic corner in eggs?"
IT think they are well Laid. ''-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
H@Oh. yes.when I was in England
I was enthusiastically received in court
She (simpIy)-what was the charge
against you?-Tid-Bits-
Jimmy-what time do yer have ter
JohnnyVoh. any time I like as long
as I amt later than o'clock--Harper 5
Bazaar.
Benhann-rhere isn't room here to
swing a cat.
MRS. Benham-Then we won't have a
cat.-Broolxlyn Life
Look here. said the customer, as he
took the first bite 4 don't think much
of this pie"
the baker, fercely. young man, I made
pies before you were born
Il dare say you did was the reply,
'sbut didn't ask you Tor one OF ,tneIn-
Pick-Me-Up.
seWhat do you call these7" ne asked
at the breakfast table.
FLANNEL cakes" replied the wife OF
his bosom
FLANNEL? They made q mistake and
sold you corduroy this time. baltimore
American.
.I wrote to Aunt Tabitha about our
robber."
''Well2"
ssShe sent up a guinea hen; she says
they. always make a big fuss when
stranger comes on the place. Indian
apolis' Journal
Towne-suburbs has bought a house
boat.
Browne-The idea! I don't see how
he can afford a luxury like that,
Towne-Luxury? It's necessity. he
has to use it very frequently to get from
the house to the Observation-Disclosures
Press.
All that was Needed.-Cassidy-