davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
"Plus, Man Ever i'm Demand.

The 'splus" man is one who Is more
than appears on the surface, bigger
than he looks, stronger than he seems.
ADLER than he shows In ordinary affairs,
better than the world judges him. con-
stantly. rising to great occasions and ac-
complishing more than is expected of
him, writes Victor Smith in the New
York Press. There are many such men
to whom great occasions never come.
There are few whose ..plusness" has
a chance to illuminate the earthly every
day.
Perhaps the finest type of "plus" man
was President Lincoln. Grant, too, was
plus. 1t might be confessed that plus,
in the sense used. is nearly synony-
nous with successful. In commercial
life Mr.. Morgan is heavily plus. In
railroading William X. Vanderbilt and
Edward H. Hartman have loomed up
rather suddenly as plus. Commodore
Vanderbilt and Jay Gould were plus.
Croker Is plus. Odell is plus.
In the contracting line John B. Nc
Donald is heavily plus. It is not every
man of affairs who can take hold of a
S35 900, 600 job and carry 1t along sue
cessfully without losing a pound OF
flesh from worry. Plus men seldom
worry. They have great nerve but No
nerves. -sz
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
THE MIRACLE.

The bells Of hope to him rang clear,
The pride Of youth reigned in his heart,
He scoffed at failure, dread, and fear.
Valiant was he to serve his art.
'My pen shall speak to all mankind;
The world shall know my fame he
said.
He wrote. The world to him was blind,
His message, from its birth, lay dead.
Mature, he labored on in faith,
While kindness took the place Of pride;
His dream of fame became wrath
That Knocked him in the eventide.
"My pen shall speak but to the few
The few that value WORTH" he said.
He wrote. The little world he knew
Spoke fair, but left his words unread.
When years had stolen faith and hope,
When fame seemed worthless in his
eyes.
The aged man, misanthrope,
Forsook his quest of honor's prize.
My pen shall speak to one alone
I'll write but for myself" he said.
He wrote. And from his heart the stone
OF failure vanished as he read.
And then miracle was done
: The thing he wrought for secret store
Went to the world. and one by one
Elusive honors sought his door.
Il wrote the tale my heart found true,
Unmindful of the world" he said.
And as he passed from mortal view
Fame placed her wreath upon his head.
Success
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
NEW sEEDLEss wATERMsLoNs.

Secret Raising hem Said to Have
Reeu Discovered in Colorado,
3 Former State Senator Swink has been
working on the seedless melon PROPOSE
ton many years. During the long win
ter nights he sat up and wrestled with
the great problem, "How can 1t be
done? Often daylight found him ex-
amining minutely and microscopically
the seeds he had cut and hacked and
desiccated, in his efforts to determine
how to get along without them. And
early one morning about five months
ago, so 1t is related, Mr.. Swink came
bounding into breakfast after one of his
all-night sessions and startled his wife
and children by shouting in perfect
spasm Of glee: "I'ye got It'll can
do itr'
Then, it is said. he rushed away with
out explaining to his astonished family
what on earth he meant.
But Mrs. Swink is reputed to have
said: Never mind; father knows
And as "father'' stands quite well in
the estimation Of his family, the mere
knowledge that he knew was quite suf-
fcient for all. Swink selected certain
kinds of seeds, planted them at certain
unusual distances apart and began to
watch for the first signs of their ger
mination After spying on the plants as
they grew. it became known that he
had really put some momentous enter
prise on foot.
Later Mr.. Swink brought and laid be-
fore his family and friends huge,
long green melon, and. dividing 1t clear
ly at one stroke of his big knife, dis
played to them the pink interior of a
splendid emerald sphere without sin
gle seed. This was but the small be-
ginning of great end. OF course, Mr..
sSwink will not reveal the secret process
by which he cut off a melons hope of
posterity and at the same time renders
its feeting presence here most benea-
cent and beloved. ed.-Denyer Post.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
He. JOINED THE SHOW.
But Twenty.four Hours Work With.
nnf sIaan Wa. Tao Muor.

But Twenty.four Hours' Work With.
out sleep Was Too Much.
81 haven't been to circus for forty
years." declared the well-known busi-
ness man with chuckle. according to
the Detroit Free Press. THE fact is
that l always feel like leaving town
whenever l hear that one Is coming,
for fear that might meet the man to
whom hired out as circus hand in
the days when was young.
Il suppose there is a period in
every boys life when his only ambition
is to belong to a circus. know there
was in mine, and / had it satisfied in
the shortest time on record a small
show had pitched its tents on the vii
lage green in the little town where i
lived, and desired to adopt the pro
fession right then and there. / applied
to the boss for a job and was accepted
on the spot as razorback. What Is q
razorback? Well he is a member ol
the loading gang. You unload in ths
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
morning and raise her back at sight. I

morning and raise her back at light. I
was simply appalled, by the amount of
work that came my way, followed by
such profanity that l never hope to
hear again. was kept on the jump
till midnight. when we had the outfit
all loaded up, and breathed a sigh of
relief, which quickly gave way to one
of despair when the boss told me to
drive the wagon that had the tents
loaded on 1t. In those days the only
means of travelling was by wagon.
"'Say, mister, said l, timidly, when
do we sleepp
".Sleep? he roared; we don't sleep
herev
81 felt that was fact, as knew we
had an all-night's ride ahead of US,
with the weary work Of unloading as
soon as we did arrive. But, as far as
I was concerned, tired nature gave out
and was sound asleep before we had
gone mile. awoke just as day was
breaking and found myself on a lonely
country road and without the slightest
idea where / was. From a country
boy who chanced to come along I
learned that the town I was supposed
to be headed for was thirty miles
away, and that was getting farther
away from 1t every minute. When I
realized my position my teeth COM
menced to chatter. But suddenly a
brilliant idea occurred to me-
"'Say,' said l to the boy, do you
want pass to the showY
You bet,' said he.
"sWell.' said |, drive this wagon tc
the town where the show is and 1 will
see that you get in. One of our ele.
plants has escaped and have got to
capture him.
Then l made for home. / never
heard what they did to that country
boy when he arrived. l hope they
didn't kill him."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
He pays a good price for orchids,

"He pays good price for orchids,
too"
He was at the florists with you"
twas very like Hobart's; and he went
off humming that idiotic Jingle
1.-The lion and the uniyorn
Fighting for crown;
Up jumps little dog
And knocks them both down."
'Tom is SO bright" said Mrs. Tom
To which jim grunted, and the drive
was finished in silence.
That night Miss Everton went to her
hostess for bit of confidence; she was
prettily flushed and shy.
you persuaded me-" she began. ito
let Mr.. Hobart speak, SOL did"
"Yes?" Mrs. Tom answered coldly.
"But, oh, Sallie, l do feel small about
it. Don't you think, dear, that diff
ferent sort of man, man who thinks
of me at my best. would hate to know
did it?"
IA different sort of man?"
"Oh, very different" demurely;
'you," with shy, bright glance, "think
SO, too"
Righteous, astonished wrath gathered
in Mrs. Toms eyes; but knock in
terrrupted. With the opening of the
"Oh, glorious" cried Miss Eyerton.
There was basketful of the rare,
spidery beauties. The servant waited,
looking to his mistress, who was pale
and silent.
For Miss Eyerton?" she said at last.
"For you, madam"
She went hurriedly past him and
down to the smoking room. Jim and
Tom were there. Flushed and a little
out of breath. she ran to Tom.
Don't get up," settling an arm COM
fortably over his shoulder and looking
across to her brother. 81 only want to
tell Jim that Bert Hobart has been re-
jected."
you're sure?' cried Jim.
| "And | wish," with peremptory
nod, "that you would go up and ask
Elsie if she'd like IA glass of wine or
any tHiHS.
Tom began to laugh, but met his
wife's eyes with tears in them. and
stared instead.
I'm SO glad" struggling with hap
py sob, "about Jim and Elsie"
Nonsense; you mustn't fib to me,
| Sallie What's the matter? p
The only answer was a long breath
of content. Later. however. there came
a retort question.
what did you mean by that little
dog jingle?"
This had to be somewhat elaborated,
and then Tom finished his interrupted
laugh. @
.'Why. was helping the plot" he
said
"Oh, yes. And am ever SO much
obliged to you" with another sigh of
peace; sever so much; but next time.
dear. you needn't bother" Town and
Country.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
Alarming Forgetfniness.

Bridget DO p. m, to sick sfster)-No-
rah. darlint, Patsy lint me his alar-rum
against gittin' up early in tn marnin'.
but I do be thot dead wild slape whin OF
wake up Ord not be hearin' wan wurd
1t 'ud shpake. Cud OF sit 1t yer soide
ay tn bed. an will yez warn me when
it rattles In tn marnin'?
Norah-Shure, an will.
Norah q a. m.gBiddy! Biddy, dar-
lint! Biddy! Shure, tn rattlIn's done
this long since.
Bridget Give minutes later, singing
the clock into closet and sIamming
the door)-Git In there. yiz singin' hay
thin, an thot's too good foryez!
Norah-Phwat did yez do thot fer?
Bridget-Phwat fer? Well thin. Orm
fist remimberin' thot tn bouid- faced
dago woke yez up, too.-LesIie's Week,
1xys
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
"well," slowly, "it,s really wonderful

"Well," slowly, "it's really wonderful
how much woman will forgive"
Jim chuckled.
81 am glad" was Mrs. Toms next
remark, "that the trellis at Hobart's is
being cleared away; it obstructed the
view"
Jim stood up.
"Shall l go over" he inquired, "and
discover how far"
II know" she interrupted. He can
see every man that comes up the steps,
all the flowers that come, every drive
she takes and I'll see to her clothes,
they make such difference"
"Poor man." Jim said, with conf
cal grimace. 'I'll go and have smoke
with him."
"If he should ask you.'' Sallie called
after him along the hall, "about re-
port that she fiirted with him, say you
heard it."
81 say, Sallie," Jim demonstrated
over his shoulder. ''bar fibs."
There really is such a report" Mrs.
Tom assured him. 81 started it my
self"
"Good Lord deliver u.s." said Jim.
"It will get him in proper state of
mind"
Il dare say"
do you really mean to marry her to
Hobart?" asked Tom, who had been an
amused witness of this little chat be-
tween his wife and her brother. She
waited to hear the front door shut, then
smiled and touched finger to her lips.
ITO Jim," she whispered, and passed
the finger from her lips to his.
ST see," genially, "and I'll join the
game"
"Oh, will your" rather startled.
"Howg
"I'll be one of the rivals. A mar
ried man can get very much in the
way when he wants to-
"But, Tom, it really isn't necessary.
With Jim in the lead, there'll be rivals
enough"
1.-THE more the merrier," gaily. "I'n
help"
Its ever so good of you," said Mrs.
Tom, and hummed little tune in the
pause that followed.
About two weeks later Jim was hur-
rying along the sidewalk one day when
Mrs. Toms trap drew up alongside.
81 was going to you," he said, as he
stepped in, with news"
"News"
'Yes. Hobart is meeting your expec-
i tations. We happened In at the florists
together, and he grinned so extensively
that judge you may feel quite sure of
| him."
"You were both ordering flowers for
that girl?"
"You don't suppose that 1 am going
to back down for cad like Hobart, do
! your"
"But you look and talk as If he were
successful"
"well." sullenly. '.I1l not take his
grin for it,
Mrs. Tom faltered bit over her next
question
Isis any one else in the running. do
you thinkY'
NO; unless You're not quarreling
with Tom about anything, are you?"
"He's in the plot" with faint
laugh.
"Acts his part" drily. pretty WELL"
HE does everything WELL" said Mrs
Tom, but she was pale.
|
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
LATEST MAN Is DEAD.
PASSED HIS ENTIRE LIFE IN AM
DOVER. CONN.
Never Worked from, His Birth to His
Death, Invented Valuable Device
to Save His Own Labor and Finally
Sought an Easy Demise.

The LATEST man in New England is
dead.
Joseph A. Bingham was so years old
and never in the memory Of any ac-
quaintance had he done stroke of
work. He was born, reared, lived and
died in Andover. Conn. Bingham was
SO lazy, says the Boston Post, that the
sight Of woodpile, saw-horse and saw
made his head ache. The sight of men
at work caused him to have fits. He
usually took them under the shade of
big elm in front of the town tavern.
He never washed his face, combed his
hair, wore collar nor laced his shoes.
All these little minor things required
some degree Of animation, and Bing-
ham abdorred animation.
Born of well-to-do parents, he was
supported by their wealth as long as
they lived, then legacy was left him
in trust, which the selectmen doled out
to him. He boarded at Andoyer inn for
years, until his money was gone, then
the scene shifted to little house pro-
yided by the seiectmen. Here it was
charged that he was too lazy to cut the
wood given him, too lazy to draw water
from the nearby well. too lazy to tie up
his shoes. It was too much work to
put on collar, and as for cooking a
meal with material all given him
well, he would starve rather than do it.
Several years ago, when he became a
town charge, an effort was made to
get work out Of him, but 1t proved a
fiat failure. He was let out to far
mer to assist in threshing grain. Bing-
ham was given the position of taking
away the shucked straw after 1t has
passed through the whirling thresher.
He watched the machine work for a
few minutes and then, with hammer
and nails and two or three pieces of
board, rugged up device which, when
attached to crank on the feeder, serv-
ed to carry the discharged straw away
to the dump. This single effort pros
trated Bingham and he took a nap
forthwith
Some one recognized the value of the
new device, and the idea was patented
In Bingham's name as joke. A short
time later an agent for threshing ma
| chine company came to Andover and
woke Bingham up. The agent found
him under his favorite tree asleep, as
usual The agent talked; Bingham look
ed disturbed. The agent wanted the
use of the patent; Bingham wanted to
be left alone. Finally the exasperated
agent, getting no replies from the lazy
man. raised his bids by degrees from
$50 to $500. Bingham turned over and
settled himself to take well-earned
rest. Then the agent gave him paper
to sign, but Bingham was sleeping the
sleep of the weary. The agent gave
up and left town. Bingham slept on
His sleep was never disturbed by the
thought of the fortune that knocked
at his door.
For the first time in % years he look
ed into a mirror. What he saw there
was his own reflection. He walked out
and deliberately began a nap in front
of an approaching train. 1t ended his
life easily. No exertion on his part was
needed, as there would have been If be
had used pistol, rope or poison.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04

The "fipfap" or loopheoop Is
the old railway
describe
Well,
IN
people
ConeyI t has nsapDres
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
b1sN@ScieflCe'
kl " Ap
||ss411Vef1tiO1

The period of five seconds between a
flash of lightning and thunder means
that the fash was mile distant from
the observer. Thunder has never been
heard over IA miles from the flash,
though artillery has been heard at 12O
miles.
1t Is said to be only a question of
time before the Bermuda Islands will
sink under the ocean. The geological
theory is that the islands are merely the
remnant of one large island. The SUBJ
sidence within a comparatively recent
period has been from 80 to 100 feet.
The earth revolyes on its axis once
in "a hours. Millions of years ago the
day was % hours; millions of years be-
fore, it was p hours. AS we look back
ward into time we find the earth re-
volving faster and faster. There was
time, ages ago, long before geology be-
gins, when the earth was rotating in
day Of five or six hours in length. In
the remotest past the earth revolved
in day of about five hours. 1t could
revolve no faster than this and remain
a single unbroken mass.
The Russian people are fond of tea,
and efforts are being made to develop
important tea plantations in the Cau-
casus. Nearly half century ago it was
found that the tea-plant could be
grown In gardens on the shores of the
Black Sea, but at first it was culti-
waited only as curiosity or for orna-
ment. Since 1890 plantations of con-
siderable extent have been formed, and
while the cultivators have not succeed
ed in initiating the fine favor of Chi
nese, Ceylonese or Indian teas, yet the
demand among the peasants for tea of
some kind is SO great that even the
Caucasian variety finds market. The
Russian government is trying to en-
courage the cultivation.
The city Of Paris is being rapidly sup
| piled with a system of public clocks
| worked by compressed air under cleo
trical control. The entire area of the
city is divided into sections about a
mile and three-Quarters In radius, and
| in the center of each section Is SUBJ
station provided with a reservoir of
compressed air, from which air-plpes
| extend to all the clocks included in the
section. By means of electro magnets,
energized every minute with currents
from a commutator controlled by a
master-clock at the central station, the
air-pipes are intermittently connected
with the reservoirs, and thus the CON-
pressed air. once every minute, drives
forward the hands of the clocks
1t is generally known that some spe-
cies of birds are able to initiate the
songs of other birds, but a more sur
prising fact is related by a French nat
uralist, Monsieur Coupin, concerning a
sparrow which learned the shrill chant
Of grasshoppers. The insects happen
4 ed to be confined in cage hung be.
side the sparrow's cage. but it was
not until year afterward, when again
the bird and the grasshoppers were
neighbors, that the sparrow was heard
initiating the notes of the insects. All
the rest of its life, and long after the
grasshoppers from whom it had taken
It's lessons were dead, the sparrow con
Itinued to intermingle with its own songs
the peculiar music of its lost friends.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
ONE TOO MANY.
~~o~oooooo~

G 6 II I'M, want you to meet Elsie
0II Everton," was the way Mrs.
" Tom began.
Matchmaking" grunted Jim, will
be the death Of you yet, Sallie"
81 could not die in a better cause.
Have you ever seen her"
"Once. She was driving with Ho-
bart"
''Oh, then you know all about it."
81 know Hobart" dryly.
Mrs. Tom nodded.
But" she deprecatingly reminded
him, 'he is fascinating; quite the man
to attract young creature unaccus-
toned to his type. She was just from
school"
II thought that all the girls schools
now were colleges"
mo matter; they don't teach how to
read Bert Hobart"
$50 Miss Everton. took private les
sons, eh?"
''They were engaged" Mrs. Tom an
nounced briefly, land he Tilted her."
'sIt is a way he has. You want me,
l suppose, for sort Of soothing
SYRUP"
''Oh, she doesn't need soothing-syrup,
or tonic either; not she. Of course"
musingly, 'she is in a proper wrath
against herself. A girl so sets her
heart, you see, upon crowning a real
king. 1t is the very prettiest among
her castles. in Spain; and there's moth
fIa lott nP hor
throned the wrong man. But what is
the use"-leaning back resignedIy
among the cushions of her divan-''of
talking to man about that?"
DO you suppose man never wants
Y kick himself?" asked Jim.
HE wants to kick the other party
first"
"Am ! to infer that a woman does
notT"
!. you may be sure of 1t. Her indigna-
ton against herself swallows every
thing else. The foe in such cases is be-
meath attention. But" with a vexed
little grimace, "that complacent smile
: of Hobart's is certainly exasperating.
1t would do me good to have him thor
oughly learn that Elsie Eyerton has his
little souls measure and wouldn't mar
ry him to save his life"
"Oh, she wouldn't, eh?"
Not" energetically. "to save her
own life."
Jim quoted
The case of Betty Baxter,
WAo rejected a man before he axed her,
AND skeptically smiled.
''As 1 said," retorted Mrs. Tom, bris-
tling, ''the matter is much too deep for
a mans understanding"
'Then why" Jim laughed good na
turedly, "are you prodding me with 1t r.
Because" suddenly gracious, "you
are valuable ally. Elsie is coming to
visit me and"
Jim flung back his head to break in
with jolly laugh.
"And Hobart is to witness my devo.
ton and grow madly jealous oh, Sal
lie. Sallie"
You know very WELL" said Sallie
beaming on him, ''that your attentions
make any girl the fashion. Hobart ant
dozen others will follow your lead
want Elsie to have good time"
-Scalping a lot of poor fellows tha
never did her any harm; that's a girl'i
idea of a pleasant time"
You'll help, dearp
"oh, III be polite to your guest, OF
course
sOf course gleefully. wen soor
have him subdued."
AAnd married? ?'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Odd, Curious and Lauxhable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por-
trayed by Eminent Word Artists of
Our Own Day-A Budget Of Fun.

young man." said the stern parent.
''do you think you will be able to sup
port my daughter in the style to which
she has been accustomed"
Now this young man thought for a
moment, and then replied:
"Well-er-I think so. with one excep-
tion."
AHA! And what may the exception
be, STRIP
81 don't think 1 could be so Internal
ly stingy with the gas"-Denver
Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04

'sDear Doctor: When 1 began using
your hair medicine three months ago
you assured me that my hair would
not trouble me much longer. take
pleasure in stating that you spoke the
truth. Could you give me the address
of a good wig maker?'-Baltimore
American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
lust the Same

Bobby-Mamma, If God is as good as
You say He is why doesn't He always
answer our prayers?
He does, Bobby. when they deserve
to be answered"
Well, I prayed that 1 might not
steal any more jam out of the buffers
pantry. but it didn't make. any differ
ence. Lire. s@ etsf
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
Took Her AT Her word.

Mrs Smith-Don't you hear me ask
for dollar?
Mr.. Smith do.
Mrs. Smith-Then why do you only
give me so cents?
Mr. Smith-Because you told me yes
terday to believe only half that l hear.
Judge.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04

Miss Shoddie-Why. nav, just come
to this side of the room and look~at that
portrait of paw that Dauber painted.
Mrs. Shoddie-I see the face looks
sort O. greasy. That shows what a
great artist Mr.. Dauber is. Your paw
sot for that picture in August.-New
York Weekly SunTimes.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
After the Honeymoon. q.

Hell can't let. you have your own
way in everything must draw the
line somewhere 5s5f
She-Very well. I'll let you know
Whole you'd better draw it,-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-04
WHY. Indeed.

Why should the millionaire boast be-
cause he started in life barefoot boy
Half the people in the country did that
and the other half started in as bare
foot girls.-Somerville Journal.