davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
HUMOROUS

Hoax-Does he go out in society
much? Joax-Yes; wherever he goes
they request him to go out
Poor Matte, her marriage was a
disappointment" "Was it," "Oh,
yes; she didn't get half the nice pres
ents she counted on"
Nell-Mr. Puffedup says he talks in
his sleep. Isn't 1t too bad? Belle
Why is it too bad? Nell-When he's
asleep he can't hear himself talk.
The Don-And what part did you
take In this disgraceful proceeding of
holding Mr.. Waters under the pump?
Undergrad (modestly)-His left leg,
sir.
Dumleigh-It was an awful trial for
me to make that speech tonight.
Mildmay-Don't mention it, old boy:
just think what the rest of us suf-
fered.
Mrs. Muggins-Are your new neigh
bors sociable? Mrs. Buggins-Not at
all. They moved in three weeks ago
and they haven't been over to borrow
a single thing.
I should think the Sphinx girls would
feel their disgrace. Their father ha.
been proved common thief" ''Notn-
ing OF the sort. Why, he appropriated
nearly quarter of million"
Breaker-That young man you in
troduced me to must be a million
ARE the way he spends money. Surf |
at all; but you see he has
10 get rid of his years salary at So 4
week in five days. vacation.
Harold. what are you and Regi-
lald quarrelling about?" called the
Fond Papa. Why, Reginald swal-
owed the pennies out of his bank"
answered Harold, and now he says
.e has more cents than I have"
Borrowers-'It strike me-" she re-
marked, that those new neighbors
I ours are very much given to bor-
owing trouble" WELL" answered
er husband, Il don't see why not.
hey seem to have been borrowing
else"
He's quite a prominent politician
ere. is he not?" inquired the visit
lg Briton. 'Oh. no, he's a states
IAN" replied the native. well.
hats the difference? "a states
an, my dear sir, is one who Is In
'litics because he has money. A pol
lcian is one who has money because
. is in politics"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
THE EXILED Beers.
The British Have Scattered Them wide-
Iy in Different Parts of the World.

Inc British Have Scattered Them Wide
ly in Different Parts of the World.
A small sketch map, occupying a
corner of the Geographischer Anzie-
ger, shows the places in Portugal and
india where hundreds of the Beers
captured in South Africa are now kept
IN confinement. Having distributed
the prisoners from India to Bermuda
1t will certainly not be easy Tor them
to plot against the British govern
ment
Cronje's soldiers, the first large
party to fall into the hands of the
British, were landed on the island of
ST Helena in April. last year, and have
been living ever since on Deadwood
plain, as the islanders call the plat
eau that rises about 600 feet above
the sea on one side the port of
jamestown.
Another part of the Boer army, 700
IN number, marched eastward over
the Transvaal frontier into Portu-
guese territory. They were captured
near Komati Poort, the gateway
through the mountains by which the
railroad from Lorenzo Mar
ques ascends to the Transvaal plat |
eau They were sent to Portugal at |
the expense of the British govern |
ment, which is now paying the cost |
OF their maintenance. -Four hundred
OF them are confined in the citidel at
Penlche, small fortress on a penin-
sula .utting out into the sea a little
north of Lisbon. 1t is a very secluded
place, the few thousand inhabitants
around the citadel being devoted al
most exclusively TO lace making. Four
hundred men are all that the storage
of the citadel would accom-
modate, and so the other 300, except
ng the officers, were sent to AIcobaca.
few miles inland. Commander Pie
laar, who was in charge of the party
When it surrendered, is kept a prison.
n at Thomar about so miles north ]
asst of Lisbon, where still stands the {
amous monastery of the knights of ]
;nrist to whom was conceded the 6
privilege of 'conquering the new
World" whose deeds of prowess and /
apacfty both in Brazil and in the 2
last Indies gave them an enduring t
nd not very desirable reputation The S
ther officers are confined at Caldas v
a Reinha. L
Another transport from South AZ
ca carried 600 Beers to Bombay.
hence they were taken inland about
20 miles to Ahmednagar. Their p
resent situation does not appear to "
particularly inviting if it is proper :,
call Anmednagar "a hot waterless -
'stilent hole" in which terms a cor -
spondent of tn Manchester Guardian -
is given his opinion of it.
Another batch of prisoners has been r,
MT to the Bermudas. 1t seldom ham 80
ms in any war that the defeated e.
isoners are so widely scattered.- oh
IN. A..
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
Buried Under q Bowl.

Fernaps the most interesting form
OF aboriginal burial is where bones are
enclosed in urns. In the mounds and
cemeteries Of the Georgia coast and in
the sea islands, single skeletons are
found carefully packed away in grace
ful urns covered with bowls turned I'M
side down to exclude the sand. Often
IN the same mounds are urns filled to
the top with fragments Of calcined
bones, the remnants of cremation.
These also are covered with down.
turned bowls. Sometimes along the
coast and up the Georgia rivers little
pockets of burnt bones are found lying
On the sand covered by inverted bowls.
In cemeteries along the Alabama River
are great vessels in which several
skeletons are packed away as in 4
.runk and protected on top by vessels.
ace down.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

work, are able to produce one story Of
forty thousand to fifty thousand
words week, for SIX months or ayear
with comparative ease Under press
ure, they can readily write two
| week, but could not long continue that
rate OF production without period of
complete mental and physical rest.
The author who attempts to lay out a
schedule OF his story, to work out a
plot to the end in his mind, and name
all his characters In advance, cannot
write dime novels. He must be able
to take a title, name and an incident
suggested by the publisher, and write
a story of specified length. letting
the plot grow and develop as he
writes. He must invent names as he
forms the letters that spell them and
create a thrilling incident or climax
Virtue must always triumph, in the
dime novels, and vice be overthrown, |
the desirable contamination being |
achieved invariably in the last chap |
ter, and the hero must be an example
OF all the virtues. Nor must the vii
AN@iAA W wv WlChcu, lOT III CcIldlu Ic-
spects the morality of the dime novel
is very rigid. 1t may curprise many
persons who denounce such fiction as
wholly bad, to know that the publish
er will not permit line or situation
that might so much as suggest indie
cency or vulgarity. The villains as
well as the heroes all swear under
their breath" and oaths are never
used in the lines of the story. Four
or five large publishing housesi n New
York produce tons of such literature ,
every week and the business is con-
iucted in a systematic way. There is
he sharpest kind of competition in
he trade, and the writer who can
uggest and work out new and novel q
'lots or situations will find a demand
or all the material he can produce.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
DISAPPEARING DESERTS.
In Few Years There win BE No Sucl
Thing u Desert in North America.

In Few Years There win BE No Such
Thing as Desert in North America,
Surely the Great American Desert
OF our childhood days will soon be a
thing of the past. The only conception
OF a desert that the next generations
will be able to obtain must come from
pictures and descriptions of something
that once existed, but is no more. In
deed, it is quite likely that we shall
not have to wait for the next genera
ton to witness the realization of this
change.
A special dispatch from San Ber-
nardino to The Times announces that
an artesian gusher, with a flow of
nearly 200 inches of water, has been
struck on the Mojave desert, near Vic
tor, at depth of less than 200 feet.
by parties who were drilling for Gil.
This is not, by any means, the first
time that water has been struck in
Southern California by persons who
were seeking for oil. and in some cases
The water has proved to be more valu-
able than a moderate amount of oil
would be.
Out on the Colorado desert, below
sea level. they have obtained a fine
supply of artesian water at a mod
'rate depth, and at the other end of
he desert, near Yuma, water is. flow
ng through canal which is big
nough to be navigated by a steam
aunch.
All this is only a slight foretaste of
mat is to come within the next few
ears. That favorite quotation of our
rlend, the country editor, 1.-THE desert
hall blossom as the rose" is destined
be exemplified to a remarkable de-
rec In Southern California within the
ext decade. Not only shall the desert
lossom as the rose, but also as the
So beautiful but more profitable cab
age, and potato, and caulifower, and
lgar beet, and watermelon, and fruit
ee, and many other things which
ont mans stomach and swell his
INK account-Los Angeles Daily
mes
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
BEAD CHAINS.

| A Fashion i'm Vogue in London Now Ex
pected to attack New York.
The bead chain has not yet reached
in New York the same vogue that it
has enjoyed for the dast six months in
London, but the craze seems likely to
be seen here before next winter. AL
ready there are few girls who have not
chains to match particular costumes.
and the summer piazza leisure has
given decided impetus to the fad.
AS it is, the beads have been i'm
ported by the dealers in. nearly every
conceivable shade. They come in
warm tints of terra Gotta, and they
are bright yellows as we'll as the more
usual tints 1t must be a strange shade
that cannot be found in these beads.
The chain should usually fall in
front nearly to the knee, and the ends
are finished always with some elab-
crate tassel or other ornamentation.
The japanese and other Oriental stores
have imported painted and fancy beads |
in varied colors and designs, and the |
strand is punctuated with these at |
different points. They come now in |
solid colors and also in dull colored
carved woods that alternate effectively
with the colors of the beads that make
up most of the chain. The chains are
used rarely to support a lorgnon or
locket and are generally intended only
Tor ornament They are rarely strong
enough to hold anything heavier than
lie tassels at the end of the chain.
They are not likely to remain a
ashton permanently, as they are SIM
Die enough to be made without diff
;nlty, and the materials are cheap. |
The only thing needed to make them
veil is certain neatness in stringing
he beads. A pretty combination seen
he other day was of rather vivid blue {
eads ornamented at five points in the !
tring by bright yellow beads a little
anger than the others. These yellof
eads were strung on each side of J
ong oval black bead on which were t
ainted flowers in a Dresden pattern c
ark brown beads made I'D with p
right carmine are very ornamental to o
dark brown dress. III
The chains are always to be limited a
house wear, and only the informality 81
country life excuses them in the t,
pen air. Most of the department Il
ores sell them now, and in addition
the pretty colors to be found among
ese exhibits there is always the
easure OF searching In the japanese to
ID other curio stores for strange 81
'ssntal bAslss~sSew York Hnr,
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

gawks! An it's a foine thrtck vel
{ afther playin'! Underground thunder
1t isis it? Him that shtuck me good
mule Beelzebub inter that sweatin
shteamin' hole fer the Notification OF
. blitherin' scientics will Place to shtep
out an Oil paste his ugly mug!"
Professor Mellins fell back against a
/ convenient bank in a dazed condition.
The noted DR.. Endlin's countenance
reflected a sardonic sheer. Several
derisive boots passed the lips of the
hereinbefore mentioned incredulous
ones.
Shtand back. We domned fools. an
let me rescue me poor darlint Bel
zia,"
Tim Murdoch had leaped from his
mules back; he tore wildly into the
now comparatively clear atmosphere
OF the tunnel and disappeared from
view.
DlHerent emotions filled the breasts
OF the different individuals. DR.. End.
inns face was a study; he glanced at
the hopelessly dispirited Professor
Meiilns, and seemed to pity him, yet
ne maintained dignifed and unau.
proachable aspect that best becomes
man OF letters. The mapority of the
spectators chuckled, looked wise. and
a number of Il told you SOS" were
overheard
Two or three brave souls ventured |
few feet within the tunnel: after 10
minutes or so had elapsed a commo.
lion rd H. |
depths.
Back, back. tell We, Back again.
me Belize! Och. an it's fool set of
lools out there, Belize! It's homesick
yez are for tunnel. acushla, me swn.
BACK vance more, darlint,"
Slowly, carefully, surely, Tim Muir.
dock steered his charge out of the !
treacherous tunnel. Once the sure. ,
footed mule slipped, and his hind feet
wnt down into the crack that made ,
the Turner's floor dangerous ground. '
Ihen, and only then, would Tim per- 9
nit any of the fools" to assist him. i
When Belize backed out into day. i
light, 1t added the last straw to Pro- r
lessor Mellins's undoing. He merely r
o CO.. 'nC uhoiSHtiy dHlH1dl, CQ6n / r.
skunk quickly down the hill. DR.. End. h
lin and his comrades could appreciate
the ludlcrous side of things. and
laughed, then fairly reared, .,
as they beheld the cause of the Sub. :,
Lerranean rumblings. plainly audible" q,
Tins riding animal welcomed Bel. =,
lie with prolonged bray. Belize, =,
bruised, famished, and with huge ..,
patches of hair actually steamed from =.
lis hide, responded in a woe-begone =.
sroan. The warm-hearted Tim law a.
shed endearing terms upon his un- =.
ucky Belize; he procured a can of -
axle-grease and literally plastered 90
his ointment" over the succored o
mules burns. Every now and again -.
e would pause in these proceedings .h
nd let forth such a volley of strong =.
anguage, forninst the loikes of yez -,
dots" as almost guaranteed an i'm. ~
lediate growth of new hair on Bel ~
les scalded limbs
On the day following, several prom. ~
lent Western newspapers contained
ensational and luridly ironical &C. nm
cunts of Professor Mellins's brilliant ~ ~
henomenon at Steamboat Springs. ~,
rofessor Mellins's pride forbade him 49,
ppearing in public for months after ~,
ard, and the bray of a mule IL Tn ".
i'm the most agonizing sound ON o1'
irth.-San francisco Argonaut. the
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

An unsophisticated young minister
In rural Pennsylvania. recently or
dained. not long ago wrote to q theo-
logical professor in Philade.phia as
follows: Il am poor speaker and
ind 1t hard to utter my thoughts clear
~ and forcibly. l have decided.
therefore. to take course Of instruc-
ton In speaking. and, learning from
the papers that there are a great many
speak-easies in your city, would be
obliged II you would recommend me
to one" The professor broke the
news to him as eupemistically a pos
tible that q "speak-easy" IL merely an
unlicensed drinking place.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
THE rAvoRITe.

Little Johnny Doubledoo
Amt az big as me or you!
But they saT he's awful smart
Cause he speaks piece by hears
ne can stan up an recite
mat about Horashus' fight,
An ne don't forget q line,
an the teacher thinks it's fine.
stead OF bein' good at sums,
w isn't, when Friday program comes,
1eacher d like to call on NE,
Ses 30 visitors all might see!
Edwin l.. Sabin, In Puck
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

The readers OF this paper will be pleased TO
learn that there is at least one dreaded dis
ease that science has been able to cure in all
its stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh
cure Is the only positive cure now known TO
me medical fraternity. Catarrh being con-
susutonai disease. requires a constitutional
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure IL taien intsr.
naily, acting directly upon the blood and mu-
cous surfaces Of the system, thereby DESTROY
ing the foundation Of the disease. and giving
the patient strength. by building up the con,
stitution and assisting nature in doinx its
work. The proprietors have so much faith in
It's curative powers that they offer One Hun
areo Dollars for any case that it fails to cure.
Send for list OF testimonials. Address
j. CHENEY q Co., Toledo. o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
HAZE Family Pills are the best
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

DR.. Curem-But don't see why Won
will not pay my bill. You said / had
made new man of you.
Mr.. Gooph-That's just it, doctor II
was the old man who ordered the work
done. and he ought TO pay for it,
ilaltimere American
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

1T Is an error to allow automobiles
to whirr along even faster than the
bicycles
still to whify 10 humans - .rhila.
dslphia Timss
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

a statistician has proved that the invention
OF the typewriter has given employment TO
100 people, but he fails to stale how many
cases OF weak stomachs and dyspepsia II h.s
induced An people o; sedentary occupation
need Hoststter's Stomach Bitters. II Is a
wonderful medicine and helps nature bear
me strain which ensues from confinement
II also cures dyspepsia, indigestion. constins.
ton and fatulency. Be sure to try Il and Won
will not be disappointed.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

Our friend the cat is called kat In
Danish and Dutch, katt in Swedish
chat IN French, katti or katie in Ger.
man, catus in Latin, gatto in Italian,
cato In Portuguese and Spanish, kot
IN Polish, kots in Russia, keti in Tur-
ksh' cath in Welsh, kath in Cornish,
catua In Basque, and goz or katz in
Armenian
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

No matter what ails you, headache to a
cancer, you will never get well until voor
bowels are put right. CAscAnErs hclp uaiure
cure you without = grippe or pain. produce
easy natural movements, cost YOU lust 10
cents to start getting your health back. CAS-
G g.; candy CathArtic. the genuine, put up
IN metal boxes, every tablet has G. G. g.
stamped on it. Beware of irnitations
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

FITS permanently cured. No To or nsryou,.
less after first days use Of DIR. Kline's Great
Serye Restorer. % trial bottle and treati,s frss
VI. IL. II. KLINE, Ltd, 981 Arch st.. Phila. Pa
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
Hest For the l.o,v.,.

You can come pretty near judging peo.
Pc oy their clothes when you see the fam.
lily wash out on the line.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

what has the weather done that it should
De talked about so much?.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

Some girls would like to be rich lust to
see how much ice cream soda they could
consume at one sitting.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES do not stain tho
lands OF spot the kettle. Sold by all drug
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

MIS-. Win:low's Soothing Syrup for childrsa
.eetnlng. soften the gums, reduces inhamma-
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

a man in Calaveras County, Cal. T.
catching pheasants in incubators
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

10 not despise humble occupations.
Even the hod carrier climbs to the ton Of
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

Durlng the preserving season there il no
such word as can't. Can is the word.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
800 toward, eI00.

The biggest corn crop was in 1895 (2,S23,-
O0OOO bushels), but its farm value was
only 2lh cents bushel.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

remarkable. ~ eoAo
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

Chinese in London who wish tn
worship without leaving the city now
nave an opportunity of doing So The
largest joss ever brought to England
mas Just arrived from Swallow, near
Foo-Chow. It's full height is about
hve feet 10 inches. 1t has a central
made figure three feet high, dancing
on rustic stand and holding up
some sacred fruit.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
The Typcwriter Inv.rt,o,.

Sugar exists not only in the cane. oeet
root and maple, but In the sap Of Isl
other plants and trees.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

lam sure Pisos Cure for Consumption saysl
my mo three years ayo.-MRs. TaoxAs Row
BINS, Maple St., Norwich, NY, Feb. II. 1899.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.

In a church at West Kensington.
London, a notice was lately posted
announcing the sale of five pews.
one OF the advantages" of these
pews, ran the notice, was that "the
contribution box was not passed to
them"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

.When woman gets mad she always
wishes she were man and could swear
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

Automobiling may be dangerous, but it
doesn't seem to be as much so "a walking
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02
5000 TO $500 A YEAk

We want intelligent Men and Women .,
travelling Representatives CT Local Managers
salary $500 to 1880 a year and all expenses.
according to experience and ability We also
want local representatives salary 30 to fIs a
week and commission. depending upon sisc time
eevoted. Send stamp for full particulars aud
sate position preferred Address, Dept u.
THR BELL COMPANY Philadeiphia Pa.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

There were $780, 900 children at school in
INDIA sixty years ago There are 4,00O, 900
now.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

An entire town has recently been
discovered in the dominions of the
Gar OF the existence of which no
one seems to have any idea. Deep
IN the forests of the Ural lies a flour.
ishing city, the inhabitants of which
speak a curious language of their own,
and seem to form sort of ideal COM
monwealth, in which taxes and tax
gatnerers, among other troublesome
things. are unheard of.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-11-02

The most costly state funeral which
has ever taken place was. perhaps
tnat OF Alexander the Great. A round
$l'ooo,ooO was spent in laying Alexan-
der to his rest. The body was placed
IN coffin of gold, filled with costly
aromatics, and diadem was placed
on the head. The funeral car was EN-.
bellished with ornaments of rure gold
and Its weight was so great that it
took "a mules more than a year tn
convey 1T from Babylon to Syria.