The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-08-11
Paradise Paragraphs.

& Son to ashes in the earl.
part q last week has been III
talk Of the town. This vas not al II
people had TO talk about, however
While the IRE was stiu burning. m,
Republican. with q fun account Of tbs
disaster, was for sale on the streets
50 that people who we're still watch
ing the coafzgration were enabled
10 secure copies Of the paper and
learn particulars This was some
thing to talk about.
-Four or five hours later the Adyer.
tiser was issued. also containing an
account Of the FIRE That the Adver-
tiser had any story of the event was
due entirely 10 the Advertisers Spe-
claI Hot Air Artist and Fish Editor.
William Herbert Melton Ayres. the
versatile vag who wrote the "Vag-
rant Verses which. by the way. are
not for sale at the Advertisers
trust news stand and cold swill en-
porium at the Oahu Railway depot
This is how it all happened. Some
body employed in the Blabvertiser
cage. opposite the meat market, told
the whole story to Attorney General
Dole. Dole Immediately appealed to
the Supreme Court and so the matter
is on file and is public property.
All was quiet in the Blabvertiser
cage. The big stegosaur and the lit
tie stegosaurs had gone home
The Hot Air Artist had found his
way to his stamping ground in the
wilds Of waikiki He had Invested
himself of his outer garments. in
GLIDING his IS shoes and his two-bit
socks. He was about to feel in the
refrigerator on his back yeranda for
poi and fish and piece of raw onion
and a little cold tea to wash it all
down. when
Something terrible happened!
But the Hot Air Artist was equal to
the emergency.
The nocturnal ether was slit by a
succession of strenuous sounds. 1t
was the fire whistle. There was
fire.
Dropping a poi-bowl upon the heads
of a tubful of baby sharks and forget
ting all about his early morning
lunch. the Hot Air Artist cleared his
castle fence at a single bound and
was soon cutting the dust in the di-
rection of a big splotch of red and
yellow fire in the sky.
AS he ran he thought it must be
the brewery burning and he quick
ened his pace.
Arrived upon the scene, on the cor
ner Of King and Fort streets, without
shoes or socks or coat. clothed only
in his shirt and pantaloons, behold
the hero of this story doing the Papa
TIA act on the hot sidewalks of Ho-
nolulu and munching fragments of
plate glass under his feet, taking in
the situation at a glance. Having
absorbed the facts. the Fish Editor
made his way to the cage of the Blab-
vertiser grabbed a wad of copy pa
per, the backs of host OF bills which
didn't pass the legislature, took his
typewriter in both hands and started
to punch out copy Getting the right
note. high C. on the keyboard, the
Fish Editor started to pound out the
story.
Meanwhile fire-brands were falling
like hail on the roof of the cage Some
fell through the skylight and a show
er Of cinders and sparks and chips
Of glass ratified down on the head of
the writer. getting in between the let
ters of the keyboard of his machine.
Like the hoy on the burning deck.
however. he would not throw up his
job but kept at it. kept at it only as
the Special Hot Air Artist can
Now and then he would rise TO grab
another wad of copy paper walking
over the GRADUATED crystal on the
door with his bare feet in order to
reach the safe where the copy paper
is kept
Suddenly the Society Editor burst
into the cage The young man per
mitted a shade OF envy to darken his
dome of thought.
Hello, Say. Ayres. what are you
doing here2" said the Society Editor.
~Did the boss tell you TO write the
story Have you obtained permission
to write up the fire."
No response
~Say. be sure to say in your story
that Charlie ChiIlingworth had charge
Of the police during the trying ordeal
and managed them perfectly. at the
risk OF his life.
No Response. The Fish Editor went