The San Francisco call., 1901-11-03
THE COST OF A
SOCIETY BUD,

rs it a paying investment to bring up
ones daughter for society?
I asked Mrs. John l. Sabin. She is
- the mother of three popular society
girls and she certainly ought to
know.
"A paying investment" repeated Mrs.
Sabinl 4 hardly understand what you
mean"
Why said I, ''for instance when you
have expended so many hundreds or
thousands as may be upon all kinds of
tutors. dancing and riding masters, mu-
sic teachers. carriages and gowns, will
you feel that you have been amply re-
paid for the money, trouble and time ex-
Iended?"
For answer she laughed and she laugh
ed mirthfully. There was none of that
feel-obliged-to giggle. She was frankly
amused
And then she sat down in her delight
fuI drawing-room and laughed some
more. why. what a queer idea she
exclaimed French and German tutors
and all the rest of a girls education being
considered as a means Of entering society.
why it is all perfect nonsense. These
things are not taken up with that idea
at all"
But" I argued. "a society girl has to
be taught certain things TO be a society
girl or rather to be a successful one
Certainly" said Mrs. Sabin.
And I felt that I had gained one point.
DO you agree that there is a special
course Of training for a debutante-that
the training is as hard and as fast as
that for trained nurses or for teachers?'
YES and no. she answered. Il believe
heartily in private schools. That is, If
one can afford II. They meet girls there
who are frequently lifelong friends. Mind
you, I am not saying THAT the public
schools are not good and that charming
girls DO not attend them, but am merely
answering your question.
''Au Of my girls have attended a board
ing school. Even that has changed to a
certain extent. They used to be taught
how TO enter and how to leave a room
gracefully, but their outside sport and
gymnastic training have made all that un-
necessary. It is impossible for any girl
these days TO be positively awkward"
thought that over and 1 accepted it
with a grain Of salt But perhaps she
was right. Probably those in my mind
were not society girls.
"A girl who has had good, broad edu-
cation. a fair musical training and has a
level head viii rarely make mistake"
she went on. There is a something that
does rot have TO be taught, a something
that cannot be bought. 1t is acquired un-
consciously. A girl who is simple and un-
affected is what pleases me most and l
believe she is the favOrite everywhere.
III is invaluable to know how to an
swer what some one meant but didn't saw
and to know how to dress well and in
taste. And tact Did any one ever get
along without tact?'
] ruefuIly acknowledged that they didn't
ascend very far into the heavens, and
lannented that there was another thing
that could not be purchased. I wonder
how many barrels would be sold min
ute?
What do girls need most, in your opin-
ion?' ] asked
Bringing out" was the prompt re-
joinder "The American girls are clever
at initiating and they never LET anything
escape them. If they are unable to be
original, they can copy well.
Most Of our girls have decided ideas
Of their own. Listen to a number of girls
Ne-iA---e anu 50 NV my "-At al que anu
argue. They aeed to know how to re-
frain from saying, oh, L don't think
SO" when they really do think it en-
phatieally. To listen well is a great ac-
complishment, and one that few women
have fully mastered"
How much does it cost to successfully
launch girl?" 1 queried.
Il haven't the faintest idea what 1t
would be- But to please you, I'll think"
While she did rapid mathematics. 1
leaned back in a comfortable gilt chair