New-York tribune., 1901-05-10
GOLF.

Marvellous braes are bonny
And every one extols
The hazards and the bunSers there.
And the course of eighteen holes.
'Tis there with Annie Laurie
And caddie, every day,
I and OH how blissfulIy
we moot the hours away (awa).
-(Detroit Journal
When Chief Justice Furches. of North Carolina,
took his seat recently. after the failure of mpeach
ment proceedings against him. he made the follow
ing statement: THE cause of my absence from
court so long time will form n page in the his
tory of North Carolina. AS to that have nothing
to say, but 1 deem II proper 1 should say that
those who have been my friends in matters which
have transpired during my absence are too gen.
erous to expect anything Of that they do not
think is right and just. AS TO those who were not
my friends wish 20 say that so far any busi-
ness transactions they may have with this court
are concerned they have nothing to fear from me.
but that in all such matters they and the interests
they represent shall receive the attention and
consideration from If they had been my
friends This Is due from as public servant.
and could not afford TO remain upon this bench
unless should act"
Two brothers. grown men now are fond OF sit
ting down and comparing past experiences One
particularly happy recollection is this:
as boys they greatly desired to possess One Of
them. Tom by name sought his mother and begged
II don't believe. can. Tom" said she. regret
But why, mother urged Tom. You don't
use it."
No, we don't use It,"
Then why WON'T you give II to us?''
Well dear" said the mother gently. "I' m afraid
'oh; no, We shan't!' cried Tom, eagerly You
needn't be bit afraid of that. mother. won't let
Ben touch it"-(Youth's Companion
Certain occupations do not lend themselves easily
to terse description In taking the English census.
Add to this the lack of practice in definition and
curious results may be postulated from the census
returns. At the last census one word was found IN
the column marked Occupation which puzzled the
authorities little. II was 'gosakoklng."
After while it dawned upon the officers that the
man earned his living by gathering and selling
coCkles-he went a-cockling.".
Story Told by the Bones-'He was probably
of means with a large family OF daughters"
the irreverent bystander commented as the skele-
ton was brought TO view. after having reposed for
Why do you think so?" asked OF the scien-
tihc persons present.
much longer of his legs was than the other
(Chcago Tribune
Say; HaIton. who are those jolly fellows down
in the hotel buffet?'
They members OF the Undertakers' AssocIa-
tion that is in convention"
Well who the young fellows who look
though they had lost every friend?
Members OF the University Glee C1ub"-(Phila-
dephia Record
\ farmers wife, writing to The American
Agriculturst' says that It has been her good fort
une to take summer boarders for the last seven
teen years. and she sums up her experiences thus:
Il have had boarders of all ages from the baby
with its nurse the aged grandmother. but my
favorites are maiden ladies and school teachers.
They most always contented."
81 want to be perfectly fair with you. gentle
men, said the applicant for the vacant job. In
tons. which. YOU may notice. somewhat full
somely worded. will add an expert opinion OF
my character and merits from my wife."-(Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.