Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-08
COUNTRY POSTMASTERS
sOME OF THE HUMOROUS FEATURES
OF THE RURAL SERVICE.
Why an Inspector Did Not Inspect
One Omee-Run on Strict
Business Principles.
from the indianapolis News

Few people know Just exactly where a
fOurth-class postmaster gets his pay. His
patrons, more often than not, know the
least about the matter, and not many 9TH
ers know that, humble the fourth-class
office is. it serves the greatest number of
people in the United States. There are over
7O.OOO of these offices, while there are just
400 of the third. second and frst-class, or
salaried Offices The lowest salary paid
these is $1,000, and the highest salary is
5000 a year. The fourth-class offices must
rustic for their own pay. Sometimes that
Is as low as 81 a MONTH and sometimes as
high as 500 a month: that is. some offices
send out just that amount of Cancelled let
tiers each month. but the fourth-class post
master is not allowed TO keep the so a
month: not at all He keeps just 10 ID
dollars as his clear cash, and every
dollar over that he divides up with Uncle
Sam. giving him 40 nut of every 100 cents.
until his office gets to the Importance OF
canCeling over SS3 a month; then he must
hand over CD cents out Of the dollar in
stead Of ~. Out of what is left he pays
his office rent, his light and fuel bills and
his clerk hire when sick or absent Inc de-
partment furnishes nothing; not even the
boz, except what stamps. postal cards and
other stamped paper he needs;
Very few fourth-class offices cancel
stamps to either the great or small amount
/ have named. The majority of them range
from IS to so month. When an office avs
erageS about $40 a month then 1t becomes
a money order office. and while Its revenue
toward the postmaster's pay IS not per-
ceptibly increased by this addition his bond
and responsibility are. Some years ago
fourth-class postmaster was allowed per
centage on all stamps he sold above the
cancellation but it found that he
hustled around and offered inducements
and a share of the proceeds to those who
would buy many stamps from him, and the
department shut down on this. Now, If he
sells 81 worth of stamps day, but only
cancels on letters 10 cents worth, 10 cents
is all he gets for that days work. The re-
mainder of the 81 at the end OF the quarter
goes to the department.
The fourth-class postmaster is brought IN
closer relationship with his patrons than
the postmaster of a salaried office, and
trials and tribula ions are about the extent
OF his pay for this. He is expected to be
ready for a social chat with them; 10 an
swer all questions; to write many Ietiers
for those who cannot write or nave lett
spectacleS at home: to advise them as TO
the best papers or magazines for which to
subscribe. and on. and so on. Besides
this he Is to blame for all the mail lost or
delayed; there are always one or more
women who accuse him of opening their
letters; there is the pompous citizen, who
is very certain that he Is careless with his
particular mail and the old fellow whose
family take just paper, and that
monthly, but every day the old fellow
would ask If that "dod-rotted book of his n
had come YETI and though it never missed
showing up at the appointed time, and he
took home every copy of it, he would de-
clare that 1t was the beatenest thing to
miss he ever seen, and he'd be blamed II
he'd ever take it again
In the majority of these offices Strctness
is the rule. The fourth-ClaSs postmaster is
called TO task for neglect of the slightest
duty the same though the government
was paying him good salary for his work.
But in very small offices l have heard of
postmasters who have II all their own way.
The office is too small for new poStmas-
fTr N he easily fOUUU if the old Is
turned out, the patrons will not allow 1t
10 be discontinued. and so the postal au-
thori;ies turn away nonplussed, and leave
him to his own devices. l heard of one
postmaster of this kind who shut his
Office to attend anything he felt was worth
while attending. He would go off a dozen
miles to a show, a prize fight or the county
fair. and sometimes say two or three days,
and there was no getting in his Office
either to get your mail or deposit letters
until he came back Another postmaster of
this kind, having just loaned a friend all
the postal funds, amounting to some 50 or
So an hour after saw a post office in
spectOr making his way leisurely toward
the office Knowing from past experience
that the Inspector would make just as big
kick about that So as he would about
$1,000 being out of pocket in the Office, the
postmaster did some quick thinking
In a jiffy he had barred the door and run
a red bandanna handkerchief out of a side
window When the inspector haughtily de-
manded that the door be opened the post
IL
red flag meant, and IL he didn't want TO
know he'd better not stop too long to in
vestigate- By this time the little burgh
was in a panic over this hint of smallpox
and without waiting to add anything to the
panic the Inspector Immediately made him
self scarce in that region.
Another case was where, time and again,
the department had been made aware of
gross irregularities in the management OF
one office away in the wilds somewhere
AT last an inspector was ordered out to
look up the matter.
At the wayside station nearest this most
office the inspector learned that it was
kept by an old mOuntaineer named Saun-
ders, who owned everything in sight around
II. and on this account could hold the Of
fee against all applicants. The inspector
was forced to wend his way afoot to the
place. Its general wildness caused a slight
feeling of apprehension in his mind. and
he approached 1t with some stealth, taking
an inventory of IL from behind tree. The
office was rough pine structure in front
OF which sat man, as rough-looking as
the shanty, tilted back IN a splint-bottomed
chair, placidly smoking a pipe. Presently
he laid his pipe down, and, pushing his hat
back from his eyes, peered over in some
bushes beyond the office, calling out as he
peered: Il see you, Jim Larkin; you
needn't come sneakin' aroun' here. I've
tOIe an tole you tibet you can't hev no mail
as long as you owe me for them taters Won
bought las fall. Now, gitr'
From behind the bushes a shaggy head
now popped up, and a voice said. pleading
~: Saunders, I've heern there's now two
letters here fur me; tibet one tibet come
three months ago, an one tibet come the
tother day I'd like to hev 'em; I'm feered
some of my folks is sick. or they wouldn't
be a-writin often"
Nary letter do you git till them taters
Is settled fur!" The postmaster's voice was
decisive
We got part of the money to pay you,
an Mary said fur me to not dar' come
nome without them letters eff / had to wal
iup You TO get en-" And now Larkin ad-
Nahced. holding out some silver, and dis
closing himself as something akin in build
ana age TO Saunders. The postmaster took
the money and, going into the house, came
out with one letter
There's half yer mail. LarkIn." he said /:
now Ell you want the tother half you'll
hev 10 do what Mary said fer you to do.
Come on
The next moment, without any prelimi-
nary skirmishing. a one another thew
went. In less than two minutes Larkin
was completely knocked out
There!' said the postmaster. brushing
the dust from his check shirt and overalls,
Il need jis leetle SIGH exercise ev'ry day to
keen ms i'm rar