The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-08-11

Once there was a Man who had an Aunt
Hester. She was a fine Manager around
the House and a Good Soul. She did
Things for other People whether they
wanted them done or not. Aunt Hester
lived In a Town known as Pinksburg be-
cause Julius Pink built the first Frame
House there. You have to hunt on the
Map for quite a while before you md
Pinksburg. A Railroad runs right through
Pinksburg. So do most Of the Trains.
Aunt Hester wrote to Nevvy. who WAS
named Albert, and said that while he ~as
on his Vacation he ought to run dowr and
spend a Week in Pinksburg. She said the
Crops were looking quite Peart s.cce he
Rain and the Roads were good. and If ne
arrived in time they might drive over TO the
Bartholomew County Fair at H!gginsvilie-
Albert took kindly to the Suggestion. re
was ready for an Absolute Change He
wanted to get out where there was moth
ing happening and put his Feet upon some
thing and sit there all Day STEPPED IN a
vegetating Silence. Pinksburg seemed 20
fill the Bill. AS he remembered 1t the Town
had more Silence TO the Square Inch than
anything outside of a Quaker Meeting.
He was tired of the hot. binding AS
phalt. the endless rambling Of Cabs. the
sullen roar of Elevated Trains. the clarion
Whoop of the Newsboy selling the fake
Extra, the garish Display on the Bill
boards and the endless Parade OF Scppy
individuals in Noisy Shirts and N95 Pana-
mas.
He knew that Pinksburg would be the
other Extreme. During the Dog Days the
Main Street of Pinksburg is a Study in
Still Life. The deathly Stiffness is undis-
turbed save by the creak OF the Wind
Pump back of Peters Livery and Feed
Stable or the occasional Gasp of the Soda
Fountain in McIlwaine's One-Price Drug
Store. Old Mr.. Peavey, the Furniture
Man, sits under an Awning in front of his
Place of Business. which is distinguished
by Yellow Plush and a Hot Smell of Var
nish. Mr.. Peavey.has allowed his Galluses
10 ease down over his Arms. He is reading
an Editorial in the Paper that he has been
taking ever since the Days of Horace Gree
ley. 1t says in the Editorial that the Amer
lean People are travelling at too rapid a
Gait and under too much Nervous Ten
sion. 1t advises them to take more Rest.
Mr.. Peavey agrees with the Editorial. He
has been Resting since 1870.
Now and then a stoop-shouldered Person
is seen to move slowly through the Heat
Waves. He is on his way TO the Post
office to get a Circular from a House that
sells a Silver-Plated Revolver for $3.50.
In wanting to get out of the Hurly-Burly
Albert seemed to display tall Judgment in
selecting Pinksburg. He knew that out
there he could hear the Birds sing and
there would be no Trolleys whizzing past.
He figured that he would get a Hammock
and rig it up in a secluded corner of the
Front Yard and lie there looking up through
the lace work of Foliage and reading a
Funny Weekly until it put him TO Sleep.
Aunt Hester laid other Plans. As soon
as she learned that AL was coming she
notified all his Blood Relations to begin
to Hump themselves to give him a Good
Time. So they began laying out Work for
him. They seemed to think that he had
come to Pinksburg looking for Excitement.
When he arrived they put him I'm the
Spare Bedroom. 1t was the first time the
Shutters had been opened since Uncle Bur
ton died. There were some Wax Flowers
on the Wall, also a picture Of Charles Wes-
ley. The Bed had a Feather Tick and a
Silk Quilt with over 1000 Pieces and tall.
rigid Shams that Albert had to lift and
stand in the Corner. 1t seemed an Outrage
to Muss Up such a Work of Art.
From the Moment that Al got brushed
up his Kin were just as Busy as could be
trying to Entertain him. The first thing
they did to show that he was welcome was
TO make him Eat.
Being a Pale Person of Bilious Tempera-
ment and SedeEtary Habits. he was accus-