The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-07-21
. . - >> . . . >>> q ( : SOME TYPES OF MEN. (

. - . . - %>>>> ~~H . The economical man Is a constant re- proach and a thorn in the side of his household. He comes home after spending 20 cents car fare. 50 cents for cigars, 10 cents for a ''shine." S5 cents for shave and hair cut. 20 cents for few beers and tossing a few tips | to emphasize his importance, and
 when he hears his wife order a dimes | worth of ice on g record d-hreaking hot day and looks a martyred. injured in- nocent when he asks why she didn't
 have a nickel's worth bought last night and wrapped up to keep it from
 melting." He is very apt to add that ice poor people like us ought not to be spending money on such luxuries. When the Economical Man sees the servant pouring vinegar on the toma-
 toes. he will ask like a student of finance and domestic economics. What
 do you give for vinegar?" and when his wife replies 25 cents a gallon. will | tell her that Is too much.send 1t back Jones has just as good for 20. and
 besides I don't see why you don't make your own vinegar and utilize all the | apple parings. How little you women know of economy" A man may work
 himself to death out in the world all
 to no purpose as he can't be at home
 to prevent the wilful waste there. She may mildly protest that 1t only takes one gallon of vinegarSin two months.
 He will reply: linen you have no idea o fthe true ecoaomy of saving pennies"
 With a sigh at the hopelessness of ever teaching economy at home, calls a boy. buys an extra" sends to the corner to buy cigar, jumps on the street car to ride three blocks. Poor feilow'
 There is a type of man whose cour- age is shown chiefly in his bravery in bullying the women and children With whom he comes in contact. He knows that discretion is the better part of yalor. where men are concerned, but makes of the women and children of his household a safety valve for his over charged anatomy of ill-humor.
 Oh. he is such a brave man!
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 There is a type of man who rushes home in the heat of the day and finds everything shut up by the women or | the home, Women who like the ugly light shut out the ugly light and glare which shows up every tear and scratch in the furniture and drapery, and when he does so insists in throwing open the shutters, rolling up the shades, turn ing in the flies and sunshine and mak- ing everybody uncomfortable while he himself, knowing that he has made an honest effort, realizes that there Is no comfort in this vail of tears, for in spite of hot air. sunshine, dusty breeze and flies, with which he has flooded the apartments, he is a fruitful mass of discomfort.
 Did you ever have the affliction of the companionship of the man who is constantly trying to enlist your admir- ation for size and swiftness? He will tell of the size of the main building at the Chicago Exposition, and expect one to gasp with wonder at the fact that it covered squares and squares" that a man looked like a speck when seen at one end of the building by a man standing at the other" He de- nlands that ones astonishment be, so to speak, on tiptoe when he mentions the height of the Eifel tower, the size of the largest boat. The strain is great when he, with flourish of vocal trumpets, gets on the line of swiftness. | and tells of swift racehorses, good run ming. bicycling. etc. The strain is great when his audience of one is a person to whom size and swiftness does not appeal, one to whom the miniature Worlds Fair exhibited at Atlanta was more of a wonder. and who prefers to live and die to slow music.
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 There is type of man who, like wine, improves with age. This man usually arrives at voting age a homely, difi- dent, unattractive good fellow and soon becomes hopelessly in love with some young woman who is satisfied with being loved and consents to mar ry him. He Is her slave. he adores her, he is her lacky, she knows her power and treats him accordingly.
 Toward middle age this type of man begins to broaden out mentally and
 physically. He takes on flesh, which rounds out the bodily angularities, he acquires ideas which fill the men.al crevices. He learns to know the world better and finds that the sling in which he thought he held it is empty.
 He becomes, at first tolerant then kind and next chummy with the erst- while despised world. His probably unattractive wife begins to fall in love with him. he becomes indifferent to fer fading charms, begins to recent his past years of servitude. feels his own force, recognizes his worth as a social factor, and is beset with an overweaning de- sire to enjoy the admiration of ether women while he delights in the ccn- temptation of their charms.
 This mans wife adores him more and more becomes insanely jealous of ev- cry man. woman or child who dares di-