Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-02
JOBSON AND THE PARADE

Mr.. Jobson took his firm stand with ref
erence to the inaugural parade more imam
a month ago.
at suppose" he remarked to Mrs. job
son. that YOU are laboring under the
cheerful delusion that we're going TO SIT In
a Temporary stand, full of splinters ana
odoriferous sawdust, enduring the bitter
cold or the penetrating rain. or the sosey,
unbeautiful snow, or whatever weird wealth
err conditions prevail, during the passage OF
the Inauguration parade, chr
81 hadn't thought about it, really, SAID
Mrs. Jobson "Still, you know, we've al
ways seen the parade; and then the wealth
er might happen to be fine"
Eyes, Mrs. Jobson, we've always seen
the parade-there's no getting away from
that-there's no leaving behind our lmoecli.
titles of other years, and that lact,
said Mr. Jobson. ITS just for the reason
that we've seen so many other inaugural
parades, and that 1t has cost me thousands
and tens of thousands of dollars for doc
tors bills afterward, that were not gong
to see the forthcoming inaugural paraoe,
Mrs Jobson. The inaugural paradeH go
right on parading, but we're not going to
be on hand to see it. I don't care II tnere
isn't cloud in the sapphire skies on inau-
guration morn; 1t won't bother me II tne
temperature Is balmy and dellgnt1ui, anout
of the approaching springtime; don't care
a whoop whether all nature is glad on the
4th Of March; nature can be just as darneo
glad as she wants to, and 1t Won Jar me
a little bit. I'm going to exhibit ABOUT Two
cents worth of common sense for once In
my life and let 'em put in their Presldent
this time without my assistance. We pau
a sufficient tribute Of sneeZes ana threat
ened pneumonia and bronchitis and Things
like that to the incoming chief magistrates
of the past twenty years or more, ana
know when I've had enough, Mrs. Jooson.
This is the inauguration we're going to stay
in our comfortable home by our cheeriui
fire and let 'em inaug.
"All inaugural parades are just alike, any
how-same old gang of governors. whose
names you never heard Of on horsepack'
same crowd of chaps with light Top coats Goaes
and light plug hats and walking sticks;
same old brass bands. playing about the
same old tunes; same old everything. II
you see one Inauguration, you've seen EN-
Jobson, if you've permitted your imagna-
ton to picture you gladsomely sitting In
wooden stand contemplating the spectacle
of the second induction Of Mr.. Mckinley
gest that you forget it, that's all, for you're
doomed to disappointment. You can just
pass the word around that the Jobsons'H
be at home on Inauguration day..
Whereupon Mrs. Jobson. who had, as a
matter of fact. firmly counted upon seeing
the inaugural parade, exhibited no Worrl-
ment whatsoever: for she has an acquaint-
ance extending over a large number OF
years with her spouse.
Mr.. Jobson was taking a walk around
town the other afternoon on business, when
the work of the decorators along the ave-
nue. began to take his eye. He stood and
watched the festive draping of the build
ings for some time, and then he stopped
number of times to watch the men putting
the finishing touches to the stands. He
looked thoughtful for some time, and then
he
When Mr.. Jobson got home that evening
he pulled a couple of tickets out of his over
coat pocket and threw them on the table
with an affected air of carelessness.
WELL said he to Mrs. Jobson in an ex-
ceedingly Indifferent manner, L s'pose
we're roped in to see the inaugural parade
after all. Bought those seats in stand
from friend of mine this afternoon. HIS
wife Is seriously sick, and so he won't be
able to use the seats, and / wanted to help
him out-chaps not very well fixed; and so
l bought EN- from him. Guess we'll have
to use 'em up as long we've got the
tickets, Ell? Anyhow, there's gang of fell
lows from my home town thatre going to
march in the parade, and want to pick EN-
out and guy 'em as they go by
ooh, well, perhaps We'll use the seats.
then, If the weather's fine" said Mrs. job
son. and then Mr.. Jobson GRATED to her for
half an hour about her poking around the
house and her never going out to get the
air and her alleged Theoretically sealed eX-
istence so that Mrs. Jobson now knows
that she'll see the inaugural parade II the
temperature is ten degrees below zero and
the snow is two feet deep on the level.