Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-09-28
White House
CrankS.

Throughout the larger part of the
year the White House is a magnet for
Cranks of all sorts ana descriptions.
male and female. In the main they
are harmless and their idiosyncrasies
are on the humorous side. ana the
doorkcepers and secret service msn
about the Executive Mansion know
how to deal summarily with them
They are shunted out Of Washington
on the double quick. But while there
are more of the apparently dangerous
cranks than the public ever hears any
thing about, they are certainly not so
numerous rs might be expected. con-
siGering the accessibility of the White
House to everybody ana the demo-
cratic manner in which the crowds
focking to it are handled.
While Congress is in session hardly
a day passes without half n dozen per-
sens who are obviously wrong in their
heads attempting to gain the Presi-
dents ear. Many of these afflicted in
dividualS are men and women who
have repaired to Washington to push
imaginary or totally unfounded claims
against federal government. and
whose ii-sUcccss in such efforts has
added their poor twisted brains more
than ever. In besi"ging the White
House doors their one idea is to obtain
an opportunity "a tell the stories cf
their claims to the Chief Magistrate
ana invoke his assistance in tbs
furthering Of thcm in Congress. Thee
never reach the President. of course.
e
they are received with ceremony ana
consideration. not to say solcmnty. by
the doCrkeeperS. even if they are thus
gradually famed" into the outer air.
None of the Cranks who go to the
White House are turned down hard by
the attendants. by diplomacy, as cX-
prrioncc has proved. they are best got
Iid Of. and most of them are 50 over
WhclmCd Ivy the Salaaming " the self
contained attaches about the doors
That far from feeling badly over it,
hen they find themselves gent
edged out. they depart with beaming
countenances and in u highly fiat
tered state of mind.
A LIGHT FROM THE PRESI-
DENTS CIGAR.
y blocking. well-dressed man Of
lIdds age, whose face, however. wore
4 steady naccid grin ana whose eyes
had d queer look in them. sauntered
nm to the White House door one after
noon in the second winter Of President
Mex inlcy's first incumbency. He had
an unightcd. half-smoked cigar in his
teeth,
.I:owdy?" said he, pleasantly. to the
tall doorkcepcr who swung the door
open for him. Bill i'm"
The uoorkecpcr replied that the
President was out driving.
Too bad, too bad" sighed the man
with the queer grin and the odd
eyes.
"Durn the luck-that's what | say
The doorkccper politely asked him if
his business with the President was so
pressing as all that.
Yes" replied the visitor, mourn
fully, lit is. AS YOU see" holding out
his unlighted, half-smoked cigar my
weed has gone out. | wanted Bill to
give me a light. He promised me in
The year 1854. at the battle Of Hastings
which as you remember | won
hands down-that if ever my cigar
went out. all Id have to do would be to
drop in on him and get light. 100
bad, too bad" And the man again
sighed miserably.
wait a minute" said the doorkecp-
r.. II hear the rattle of the Presi-
Tents carriage-ht's coming in the
back way. I'll see him. and leaving
another attendant to keep an eye on
| -. No ineffDrpHh HE grin, ne
slipped into the passage, lighted a
| cigar. and. after waiting a moment
returned with it in his hand.
Mr.. McKinley's renewed assurances
IL his most distinguished considera-
| ton" said the doorkeeper, with great
| ,olemnity, holding out the cigar, and
| here is his cigar from which he begS
that you will accept a light for your
| own
| There was an expression almost OF
1 rapture on the mans face as ne TOOK
the cigar and applied the burning cnd
of it to his own. He returned the
Presidents cigar" placed both of MS
hands upon his chest and bowed deep
IL to the doorkeeper. who returned inc
kowtow as tremendously and backed
out, saying:
Tell Bin to join me with the army
in Flanders 1T twenty minutes past
| O'Clock, moon time.
Then he passed out, putting vigorous
I, " at his cigar and ne never Appeared
| at the White House afterWard' con
trary to the expectations OF the uooi
keeper, who had figured that he'd De
dropping in every day for DIT OF the
| fra from tha Presidents cigar.
Not long before the battle of Manila
| BAY. a tall. Observation-Disclosures man WIT
| gray hair and clear. steady gray eyes
| strolled up the walk leading to tht
| main entrance to the White House
| swinging his walking stick Jaun;iiy. II
was at an afternoon hour when Visit
sor were not received at the EXecu
tive Mansion and one of the door
| keepers, who happened TO be emerg