The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1901-02-08

'flreslde companions"
Mrs. Nation taxes" jointists to quit
and then uses the Ratchet.
The peach crop Is believed to be
safe 50 far in Douglas county.
Dr. Rakestraw of Walnut is said to
be busily engaged in making hay while
the grip lasts.
Gossard, an Oswego hardware man,
advertises MRS. Nation Keen Kutter
Hatchets and Axes"
Lieutenant Colin S. Ball, late of the
10th Kansas, is slated for Captaincy
or better in the regular army.
A Mcpherson man has discovered
that hot tomales are a specific for the
grippe. He has them to sell.
The Kansas City Times asserts that
the mythical jointed snake has been
found in Kansas by her feminine Saint
Patrick.
The Union notes that Mrs. Sim of
Salina, has gone to Topeka, which is
additional evidence that large towns
attract the wicked.
The evidence seems conclusive that
Parsons telephone line needs fixing.
A lady received bologna sausage who
telephoned for bromo-seltzer.
The Wichita Eagle sees a likeness
between John Brown and Mrs. Nation.
1t says the latter will end where
Brown began-at Osawatomie.
A time-saving Nemaha county wo-
man had the will of her deceased hus-
band probated and married a second
n fpi IN 1un
There is much talk about the ease of
locking up Mrs. Nation, but the To-
peka journal very pertnently re-
marks why not lock up the saloon
keepers?"
That daring youth who tried to
beard the octopus in his den at Kan
sas City by robbing the Standard Oil
company of 800 cultivated his nerve
as boy at Garnett
Before her new calaboose is fin
ished Chanute notes the location of an
ice plant, making supply of coolers
that ought to keep hot blood temper
ate even in summer.
j. T.. Cotton of Coffeyville has been
arrested three times for one assault
on a Mr.. Austir. Either Austin is
y
unpopular in that town.
Mrs. Nation should most assuredly
be given front page, top column next
pure reading matter article in the
next number of the Kansas Knocker.
She has her hammer out for good
The sporting editor of the Emporia
Gazette dropped hint of cooking
main and the next day says three old
girls called to learn more" Which
shows that not all spirited birds are
fowls.
Usage City is very outspoken in her
desire to secure the "Orient" and
Uncle Sam might save time, money
and trouble by turning the delinquent
Turk over to the Osages if they do
give 'em the rest.
Baldwin and Lawrence Indignantly
deny that because Mrs. Nation made
no raids when she visited them but
just talked to the people that she
thinks there are only bootleggers in
town.
A Peabody butcher advertises his
meats with a picture of Cupid riding
hog to market. This is not pure
fancy. The way Kansas women are
the hog.
Jerry Simpson is travelling over
Kansas buying live stock for his firm
in Kansas City. Jerry has changed
in many ways, among them he seldom
tells one of his customers that he is
selling his stock too cheap.
The reason the Atchison Globe
hasn't been up to the standard for
some days is because Ed Howe is kept
busy filling out membership receipts
to Kansas jointists who want to Join
his Don't Worry Club.
A Seneca woman engaged a lawyer
to prosecute her husband for divorce.
Hearing nothing further for several
DAYS She wrote him sharp letter
asking why he didn't send the divorce.
81 need it," she concluded.
A handsome young man at Pitts
burg thinks two old maids are trying
to kidnap him, probably with matri-
monial intentions. They have passed
his store repeatedly but never sue
ceeded in finding the kid mapping.
ware women A Pomona livery
man is being sued for 81 200 damages
by a Kansas City milliner whom he
drove across country. Somehow the
buggy upset and she blames him.
Isn't that feminine logic for you?
An east side woman of Foct Scott
who thought she was cheated by her
grocer, called on him armed with a
hammer and succeeded in driving the
best bargain of her shopping career
The Nation idea is expanding.
A Leavenworth colored woman who
has been victor in scores OF fights
having whipped several men includ
ing cop, was nearly killed by an
other colored woman who generously
belabored her with her slipper.
The Cherryvale commercial clut
has planned tEat the first thing tC
strike the visiting Kansas City com
mercial club shah be the CherryvalC
brick. This surely should remind the
visitors of home and footpads.