davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
HE BAFFLEp Tnn RA1prRs.

The success Of a raid on an alleged
gambling house in a Massachusetts
town was foiled by the presence OF
mind Of an attendant Of the place, who
swallowed the dice. OF course this
clever trick wouldn't work in some
gambling places. Even a Massachu-
sets throat would scarcely be able to
worry down the paraphernalia Of a
fully equipped establishment. But 1t
was a winner on the occasion named.
The bones clicked against the teeth
OF the attendant, there was a gulp and
a wriggle, and the laws myrmidons
were baiiedl The attendant might
a V added as he tossed the cubes of
chance across his tongue that the die
Is cast, but being entirely unfamiliar
with classic lore. he merely remarked
with a skillfully Disguised wink that
he didn't know nothin' about no dice
nOhow.
And as the state constable had no.
warrant which authorized him to raid
the attendants midst, he turned away.
leaving the swallower in the throes OF
a fit of laughter that made the dice
rattle at every throe. = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
LIS Lnsr.

~
Mr.. and Mrs. Bixtable resided in an
apartment house, but as theirs was
the lower fiat they exercised a kind OF
supervision over the little lawn in
front. One morning Mrs. Bixtable
discovered her husband in the rear OF
the building engaged in strapping the
lawn mower on the handlebar Of his
bicycle.
why Gerald" she said, how
ridiculous! Don't you know"
1T isn't ridiculous at all" he re-
torted. I've carried heavier weights
than this"
But"
Il know what l am doing, Miranda.
Don't bother me-"
She said nothing more. with a vast
amount Of work he succeeded at last
in tying and strapping the implement
across the front Of his bicycle and
started to trundle the machine out to
the road.
Then he made a discovery.
why. Miranda" he exclaimed, ITS
too wide to go out through any open
ing we've goti"
Il know it, Gerald" quietly re-
sponded his wife. That's what I was
trying to tell you. Youths Com
panion.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

HNH"'N WNN"NNA ~ WNNrn tno Wen Cleanse
Their nodiea.
"A primitive sort OF Turkish bath is
INDUCED Ina by some Of the FinIandors
Of northern Norway. In winter IN this
part Of the country the thermometer
averages forty degrees below zero and
water bathing is not practicable. These
~finlanders, unlike the Inpps farther
north, have an instinct for bodily
cleanliness and manage to preserve &c
after the following fashion. Paul Du
Chaillu, who knows from personal ex-
perience, declares the method fine.
Each hamlet has a bath house for
common use. u Is perhaps fifteen feet
long by twelve feet wide. IL boasts
no windows and only when the door Is
opened can air or light enter.
Bathing day comes once n week.
Saturday. early In the morning OF
that day wood is brought and a fire
started. When the stones become hot
the fire is put out, the place cleaned, a
large vessel Of water and some slen-
der birch twigs brought In and the
preparations declared complete. AS no
dressing room is provided. toilets are
unmade and made in the various
homes. 1t Is scarcely necessary to add
that no time is lost IN the progress
from the home to the bath house. No
clothes and a temperature Of forty de-
grees below zero are incentives to
haste.
When all the men and boys are in
the bath house and the door closed,
water Is thrown upon the hot stones
until the place Is filled with steam.
Precipitation pours from the swelter-
ing bodies, vet more active exercise is
demanded and switches come into
play. Each bather lays on his neigh
Dor with a will until "Enoughg Is
cried. Again water Is thrown upon the
stones, more steam raised and another
switching INDUCED In. As may be
Imagined, the bodies are now MS red as
boiled Holsters and the blood circulat-
ing actively. A roll in the snow com
pletes this novel bath.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
A coon SUGGESTION.

It is the suggestion of a trained
nurse, whose beef tea was most ac-
ceptable to a patient to whom in any
previous illness it had been repellent,
that the beef should be broiled before
the juice is extracted, says the New
York Evening Post. A thick, lean,
juicy steaw from the round is broiled
over a clear fire perhaps two minutes
on each side, after which 1t is cut up
into small squares, put into a sauce-
pan, covered with cold water, and set
on the back of the stove where it
should steep, not boil, for fully two
hours. Remember not to add the salt
until the dish is taken from the fire.
and serve it hot, unless, OF course, it
Is to be offered as cold or iced beef
tea.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
III WEIanr cAMr nAcK.

From the Chicago tribune: He was
a gay youth with a pleasant turn OF
wit and he had a friend in New York
on whom he decided to play a joke
He thought for a long time, but the
wittiest idea he could coniure up was
to send him a telegram collect" and
get his laugh out of what he knew
would be his stingy friends agony
when he came to pay the go cents
charges for a foolish message. He
wrote several messages on telegraph
blanks. The one he finally sent read
like this:
George j.. Kelly, Broadway, New
York: / am in perfect health. ]. Lin
coin Reynolds"
He sent the telegram and enjoyed
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
Landsmen for the Navy.

Recruiting men for the navy in the
interior is made possible by the new
style Of Warships, which do not re-
quire sailors accustomed to managing
canvas, says the Kansas City Star.
The old-time sailor is passing away,
both in England and America. Now
n young farmer from Kansas or Mis-
souri, can enlist in the United States
navy, take on the smartness that
comes from bearing arms. see the
great world, aecustom himself to
steam m~achinery-a useful accom-
pllshment for any man-and return to
the pursuits of peace better equipped
In every way for his experience.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

A curious Illustration Of the power
Of corporations is reported from Eng
land. From time immemorial It has
been established law there that be-
quests made for the propagation OF
secular or freethinking doctrines were
subject to cOnfiscatlon by the King,
and thousands Of pounds have been
thus confiscated. Recently, however,
it occurred to some person to try a new
plan. A company known as the Sec
ular Society Qimited) was Incorporated
for the specific purpose Of receiving
such requests, and the best English
lawyers say that under its charter it
can receive and use requests for the
very purpose 80 long held unlawful.
A corporation is a strange entity.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

In our far country. Won are dorh.
less aware" said the far Western non
the man who steals a horse can
count on being iyncBed II caught. One
morning last year / was told bv the
foreman Of N ranch that one n onr
pest broncos had been run of IN tbo
night and taking three OF the bova
WIN me, I soon picked up the traii
Inc thief rode straight away for twen-
" miles and then sat down to rest
a as we came up we found him seat
ea under a tree and contentedly smok
ing MS pipe. He made no enort 20
escape, but on the contrary put on
something Of a smile and Welcomed
US with:
Sorry to have troubled Won con
Llemen- 1 did not intend to ride over
nYe miles, but the blamed broncbo
run away with me. OF course you've
brought a rope along? It's a clear
case and you needn't lose any time
You stole the bronco?' / asked
OF course.
And you know what folio,vs9,
certainly Let me get my collar
on ana kick on these old shoes. That
m up there looks strong enough
Let me throw the rope over. please
There it is, and III slip the moose over
my head. Now. gentlemen I think
we are quite ready. I. shall probably
40 some kicking around. but no more
than / can help
The fellows c~oolness knootad ne
out and we didn't know which wav 10
shape While we were puzzling over
him he smiled and bowed and said.
o any reason for keeping
me w%aiting?'
replied.
II do. gentlemen. / do. Yes. Won
VIII oblige me very much by pulling
on the rope
Mates?'
Simply because I've lost nv nerve
ana am n. g. In a poker game over
At Tulare yesterday 1 held a ROYAL
uush asd let a man with a pair bluff
me down and rake in an $50 pot. Cen
tlemen, proceed.
But we didn't. We caught IN the
bronco and rode away, leaving the
rope behind; but after we had gone
half a mile we looked back n the
fellow was dangling at the end OF
the rope. He had hung himself"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
KAISER IN NEW ROLE.
Wilhelm Tries His Hand al C~aricaturin
Pruasian Mobiles.

Wilhelm Tries His Hand At C~aricaturinr
Pruasian Mobiles.
The Kaiser was much occupied dur
ing his recent vacation in drawing
~caricatures Of the leading persOnages
IN the history of Prussia, and especial
ly Of Brandenburg. He is skillful
with the pencil, and works rapidly in
bold, dashing lines. He has made
%caricatures Of a number Of his prede-
cessors on the throne Of Prussia, and
also made skillful humorous sketches
Of many Of the leading statesmen and
ladies of the seventeenth and eight
eenth centuries.
The sermons the Kaiser has dellv-
cred on board his yacht H~ohenzoIlern
in the past six years are to be collect
ed and published in n special volume
for the %edifcatiOn of the German sol
diers and sailors. They are not all Of
the Kaiser's own composition. They
are selected by him as being specially
adapted to the audiences he addressed.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
COLORADO cAvERNs.
Remarkable Caves and Fossils in
County.

County.
1t is likely, says a Florence corre-
spOndent Of the Denver News, that a
wagon road will be built to lead to
some grand caves which hundreds OF
people living In this county know moth
ing about. For more than a year the
Carnegie museum has had men contin-
uously at work quarrying out of the
solid sandstone the petrihed bones Of
the prehistoric animals which rOaned
here before the food, at the point
where a visiting geological party re-
Gently spent. one day. The Smithsonian
Institution at Washington has a speci-
men dug by M. p. Welsh in 1874. Since
then Welsh has spent most Of his time
in digging for these fossils. Caves
abound in this region. In Marble cave
an opening but 4x1O feet greets the
eye, but the interior is 200 feet long
and fifty feet high.
There are a great many other caves
that give the oldest geological data
which as yet are virtually unknown.
There is also strong evidences Of a
su%bteTranean river.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
bid 40 PensIons b Ra.aIa.

The st. Petersburg Official Messen-
ger announces that pensions available
for the families of the beneficiary ar
ter his death win henceforward be
granted to all workmen in state ems
plOy. For the present the measure IS
only promulgated as a provisional
ukase, but It Is to be embodied among
the permanent laws Of the Russian em-
pire. The newspapers hail the reform
as one which all private capitalists en-
ploying labor on a large scale win be
compelled to adopt.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

7 see that the Rev. Mr.. Sheldon says
he'd rather drink a bottle Of red ink
than a bottle Of beer"
Queer taste, isn't it,"
Never tasted it,"
What. beer?"
ono, ink. But say, just imagine Mr..
Sheldon inviting a friend to join him
in a glass Of writing huidl Wonder
how he'd drink it?"
I suppose he'd drink it with a
chaser Of plotting per."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
ETATH o. ono. orr or ToIrDo.

Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he a. shs
senior partner Of the I'm Of r.. J. Cheney %.
doing business ID the City Of Toledo CLnnte
and state aforesaid, and that said firm will nav
me sum OF ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
eaeh and every case Of Catarrh that cannot Ia
cured BY the use Of Halls Catarrh Cure.
Sworn 20 before me ana subsoffbed h M
presence, this 0th day Of December. N ID ~
lSEA1.1 A. W. GLEASON,
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally. ana
acts directly on the blood and mucous F~ufiaeee
Of the system. Send tae testimonials, free
r. ]. CHENEY g. CO., Woiedo.Q
sold by Druggists. 76c.
Halls Family pills are the best
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
oRrENwIcn rIMr IN 80.

Beginning with the present year,
Spain has adopted Greenwich time in
the place Of Madrid time. which was
previously used as the Spanish stand
ard. Madrid being west Of Green
witch, the change involved the setting
of clocks IA minutes and 46 seconds
ahead.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

II was his first voyage and he was
leaning over the rail In an attitude OF
reckless abandonment. "What are you
dOingr' some jeeringly asked him.
81 am rendering TO the sea, sir. the
things that are the seats. sirg' he
gasped, as soon as he could speak.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

TN spite Of the lucky stone you car
ry in your pocket you lost all your
money and a sign fell on you and
broke your arm"
yes, but wasn't It fortunate / had
that lucky stone? Think what might
have happened to me otherwisel"-
Boston Traveller.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

scrap lead. The piece must have
weighed Eye or six pounds and TO it
was fastened. by a dainty pink rib.
pom q small card On the card was
written the following message.
Dear Reynolds; This Is the weight
which your thoughtful telegram hit
ca from my heart. Yours truly. e. J..
Kelly"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

his laugh. Then ne forgot all about
IL
One day about a month after no had
sent the witty telegram the express
wagon stopped IN front OF his house
and the messenger brought In a small
wooden box.
There are two dollars charges,
said the messenger az he put the box
down on the table. Reynolds looked
AZ II and saw that 1t was marked,
value 500. This side up with care
ne wasn't expecting any package, but
be could not resist the temptation Of
seeing what was inside. so he finally
paid the money and pried the I'D on
tto box. Inside var a mass Of excel
sl0f aud waste paper. Far down az
1e bottom be found q large chunk OF
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

fHirsh's Tabulated Digest Of the Dl-
vorce Laws Of the United States" by
Hugo Hirsh. Funk & Wagnalls com
pany, New York. $3.50.
THE Wheels Of the Machine" by
Charles M. Sheldon. Advance Publish
ing company Chicago.
Prairie Breezes," by S. A. Harrison
principal Of the Burroughs school, Chi
cago.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

simkins-'A scientist says the goat
Is the most unreliable Of an domestic
animals"
Timkins-"No wonder. A diet Of
tin-can labels and circus posters b
enough 70 destroy the spirit OF truth
IA any creature
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

what are you doing thers7" shout
ed the night Waterman to the fellow
who had broken into a tobacco store.
'Well." replied the burglar, II didn't
really think there was any law against
a fellow taking a little. snun -Yonk-
ers Statesman.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

"Marse Tom. you mus sho run for
governor"
why so?"
"Kaze you done run fer everything
else on de top side err de airth. en- dey's
so many in de race for governor mebbe
you won't get beat dis timel"-Atlan-
ia Constitution.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

~ consequence % the great demand FOR
cotton GOODS, the United states coneSn,ed
WRSSitcSn tew cotton than Great Britain.
INDUSTRY, just ag Hostotterfe qtor,sch
nltters hah been the best family medicine
ana which has retained ne praeffoe for
2ye5 MY years Today the Bltters Is used
~ 3lnlost every home. II cures dyspepsia,
lnuiGfstion, constipation ana biioneneee
hls9 purines the blood, calms ne nerves
ana builds up tho entire system.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

twenty years ago twenty per cent.
or the employees Of the New York Gem
tran railroad were discharged yearly
o drinking. Now only about one Der
cent. yearly are so dismissed.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

With the constantly increasing require
meuts OF school boards there win soon be-
no place for school-ma'ams like the one
who wrote: ut aln't wuch they pays i.
and "a amt much teaches they
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

Al the beginning OF the Civil War a
newly nedBcd captain found several mems
hQfs OF hts company indulelun in Ia lively
bout With their fists. KaIinfd them un
made them q handsome speech he-
ginning; W hope We have no lighting
men among uai'
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

Millions Of sufferers use Wizard Ou
Tor pain every year and call it blessed.
Ask the druggist ne knows.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

"smithers can ten as good a FISH story
anybody ] know. I told him an awful
Whupper the other FiBht, but he matched
tt" "HowY' IT. said he believed me"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

FITS FermnnentgCurcd nonts ~ rvousnsssa fta
hrat day use OF Or. Kline g Great Nerve Restorer.
send for FREE $500 trial bottle and trentiso
Or r. "A hAiAk, Ltd, 81 Arch st.. Philadelphia. Pa
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

a Philadelphia man has recently dis
covered down IN South America a plant
that drinks. lt win probably prove 10 be
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

And when hc- proposed did you tell
him 20 see mef inquired her mother.
II I'D, and he said he had seen Won sew
ernl times. but that ne loved me- not-
withstanding."
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

Flying machine men are talking OF
forming q rust II they manage TO float
L they viii do better than many OF them
ave with their mHcnahes.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

Little Boy-Whats proachin' FOR. any
wayg Little GirlrWhy. to give the sing
orH n rest. OF course.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22

ss5 sssafsss . iSs' .sss ; ssls' . AZ s5SG' & E'S sss'i *
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-11-22
THE TIME TO LAUGH.
SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL Ann
SELECTED.

Rhe Weisht Game Rack, or the .5,,,.
mat Was Loaded at BOTH END.
His Labor Lost-no Banned an.
Raiders.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1901-05-22
Bad Sitting Pastures

The plea for correct attitudes is
overlooked during the summers
cautions against cold drinks.
draughts, etc. Physicians who teach
physical culture, however. assert that
it is not the ice water or the similar
cold things We take into our stom
achS that causes us to be 4 nation of
dyspeptics, but the bad pastures
which we adopt when sitting.
y correct attitude in sitting re-
quires proper height and width of
seat, desk or table OF the proper
height when desk work is required,
and proportinate amount of care TO
sit upon the seat in the proper posi-
ton. The relation of the person to
the seat should be such that, while
the hips and shoulders touch the
back of the seat, the other portions
of the back remain clear. The cen
tire of the back cannot t1uch the
back of the seat without the relaxa
ton of the muscles aud resulting
fatness of the chest, and perhaps of
the stomach, provided, Of course, the
seat back has the usual backward
curvatures. 1t may take some prac
tice and a well-trained memory TO
keep in mind the correct posture
when at the daily work, especially if
the greater part of the day is spent
at desk or table or in the sewing
chair; but with little effort it will
not be Il difficult matter to form q
habit of sitting correctly, and the
results are we'll worth the effort.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1901-05-22

A law enacted by the Tennessee
legislature has farreaching possibili-
ties AS to the extension of prohibition.
An old law forbids the sale of whis
k-y within four miles of auv school
house, except In the incorporated
towns of over 1900 population. The
new law permits towns of 5000 in
habitants or less so surrender their
charters 10y Il majority vote of the
electors. and thus get rid of the sa-
looms. 1t applies only to towns III
corporated under the general law
but as Il town holding u special char
ter may, by tao Ciirds vote 60 m.
der the general law, it may be made
20 apply to all towns not exceeding
the population mentioned.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1901-05-22
He Is a Wonder.

All who see Mr.. G. +. Collier, of
Cherokee. Iowa, AS he Is now, cheer
full, erect, vigorous, without an ache.
conId hardly believe he is the same
man, who, "a short ;iEe ago. had TO
sit in chair, propped up by cush.
ions. suffering intensely from an
aching back, in agony # ne tried to
stoop--alI caused by chronic kidney
trouble. that no medicine helped I'LL
used Electric Bitters and was wholly
cured by three bottles. Positively
cures Backache. Nervousness. Loss
of Appetite. all Kidney troubles.
Only SOC vt g. Blencowe's drug
store.
Clarke courier. [volume] (Berryville, Va.) 1869-1997, 1901-05-22

took up McClellan's methods of zig
gag approaches as his only hope of
dislodglng Lee and his little half clad
army. But he was so far from hi.
base of uavigable water that he soon
gave the siege mp.
"Grant, in his Memoirs. page 276.
Vol ii, says: Il have always re
GREETED that the assault at Cold Har-
Dor was made" His losses here were
50 very heavy is the reason of his re-
gret, no doubt.
"Grant had been outgeueralled by
Lee AT every 'prn. tnd leaving Cold
Hsrbcr h. resumed M, "crah-like'
side moNemeut, winch enabled him
to reach Petersburg. where M found
confronting him As usual. aud where
he was compelled 10 resort to the
zig zug method of approach and
mining, with the hone of making 3.
breach IN Lee lines. but failing.
Early IN the sprlug OF 1868 be re-
sumed h!s "crahlike. ear'hworm
movement by the flank. am pressed
on TO Five Forks, wher- hr succeeded
in breaking th- LAST line over which
Lee could gather suppij-- for his
army, ans thus By destroying tho
kitchen be starved The great ami
immortal army which with al his
mighty host he could not whip.
THOMAS l.. RoSSER.