davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
A PUN cor HIM A LIVING.

A story is told OF an English clergy
man who owed his appointment to n
rich living to lucky pun. He was
tutor to the son OF nobleman. and
had not long taken orders, when he
attended the funeral OF the rector OF
the parish in which the noblsman's
seat was situated.
The father OF his pupil was patron
OF the living, and was also present at
the funeral OF the deceased rector.
There was a young clergyman present
whose grief was so demonstratlye that
the noble patron was much affected BY
the sight, and asked IL the young man
was a son OF the deceased gentleman.
oh, dear, no. my lord-no relation
at all" said the tutor.
mo relation!" exclaimed the clergy
man in surprised tone.
None. my lord; he Is the cnrate.
and I think that he is not weeping for
the dead, but for the living"
His lordship. who was something o,
a wit and cynic himself. was so dc.
lighted with the boumot that he con-
ferred the living upon the ready puns.
ter.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
soME FATnERLY ADVICE

There is one man In Cook copn,r
who is bringing up his boys in tbo
way they should go, and il they DOM
go in 1t the fault won't be his ono
of his lads stood before him and said.
Father, I'm invited to party ana
there's going to be dancing, and I nood
q dress suit"
Eyes. Well, why don't you get II .,
IT haven't the money"
"How old be you?" asked the ola
man with sudden interest.
why, you know, father. Nine,oer
this MONTH"
"And you want dress suIt?"
Eyes, sir"
"The kind Of rig you can only war
after sundownw
Eyes, sir; it's evening dress"
"Costs like tho dickens, and ma,,oo
you look like waiter in an eating.
house? Huhi Now I've no obIectIor
to your having dress sult--witb :
proviso-you must go to work and
earn 1t. Now hustle"
And the boy Is hustling.-Chicago
Exchange.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

brew by birth and faith. Becoming
converted to Christianity, he volun-
teered as a missionary to serve in In
dia. Many years he passed in the
northern mountain ranges of India,
and there he acquired that mysterious
eastern knowledge of forcing men and
women to do his will, an art of which
Europe and America possess only a
very small knowledge under the name
of hypnotism. Wolff was man whose
face was unattractiye, body misshap-
en-, and general appearance repulsive.
Yet, presumably by the exercise Of his
will power. he compelled the daugh-
ter Of the Earl of Oxford, one of the
most gifted, beautiful and wealthy
debutantes Of the year, to lay both her
hand and fortune at his feet.
AS a result of their union two sons
were born, the elder Of whom is en-
ployed as porter in dry goous house
at Tallahassee, Fla. The other son is
Sir Henry Drummond Wolf, who is
regarded as among the cleverest Dip
lomats in the service of Great Britain
and who stands high in royal favor.
Hts marriage resulted in the birth of
two children. One was ex-Capt. Cecil
Drummond Wolff, who, for conduct
unbecoming and officer and gentleman,
was turned out OF the British army,
and the other is the most extraordin-
airy adventures, Mrs. Kingscote.
Mrs. Kingscote has moved in the
highest society at home and abroad
and has frequently entertained royal
ty. She possesses considerable ability
as a writer, and the several books and
magazine articles she has written have
enjoyed great popularity. She was
luxurious in her tastes, and what
money she could gain possession OF
by honest means was not sufficient to
keep her in the style she affected. To
pay the heavy debts she had contract
ed, she went to parties rich In worldly
goods and by the nee Of honeyed words
and the power her victims claim sis "a
possessed of extracted from them vast
sums of money. Her first victim was
Lord Byron, relative OF the notsd
poet, who was 80 years old and glp.
posed to be wei versed IN Affairs VI
the worb wheE he met Mrs. EEng
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

Bishop Philpotts of Exeter early
earned his reputation for saying sharp
things. One of the guests at an under
graduates party. in Oxford, sang a
song much out of tune. Then Philpotts
was called upon. 81 haven't note in
my voice" said he. well, il you can't
sing, you must make speech or tell
a story!" declared the host. IF I am
to tell a story" said the future bish-
op. 81 think l should say that should
like to hear - sing that song again."
Much later in life he went to pay
visit in Devonshire. Its a beautiful
place, isn't it," asked guest. Yes"
said the bishop. but if it were mine
would pull down the house and fill up
the pond with 1t. That would remove
two objections"
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

During month II July thousands of
young people gathered in Cincinnati
and San Francisco, in Christian En-
deavor and Epworth League conven-
tons. Enthusiasm in large measure
was theirs. But the public, always
utilitarian, asks: What have these
young people actually done?" A few
among the best things" reported by
the Junior Endeavors alone, chill
dren under IA years of age, are suf-
ficient reply: Clothed and paid board
Of a crippled boy in school, Gave a
Thanksgiving dinner to thirty-fve poor
children. Earned money to give poor
children an outing in July and Au-
gust. Kept a crippled old lady in
clothing and food all winter. Fur
nished flowers all winter to our
church. Made scrap books for hospi-
tails. Educated two colored boys.
Placed rack in depot and kept it
filled with good reading. Gathered two
hundred good books for the prison
committee to use in its work. Bought
an invalid bed, which Is loaned in the
community. Surely an enthusiasm riv-
eted by such acts Of helpful service
need not hesitate to call itself true
religion.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
A rnoFASE INTERRUPTION.

II Is related OF a weIl-known Nil
waukee preacher that on oRn occasion
he was delivering a sermon ln Maai.
son. Wis. II vas hne summer day
and the windows were opsu. In an
adjoining vacant lot number Of boys
were playing a game Of base ball.
The sermon was on heaven and tho
means Of reaching there. The preach.
er had just come TO the end Of . pas.
sage.
How. then. shalt we reach hea.
ven?" he asked. aud paused Ia sol.
emu manner,
Just then came floating through tho
church window In high keyed voice:
Slide like the devil. Hltdn!"
1t was one Of the boy base bail play.
ers coaching base runner.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
A SALE OF WARTS.

"This theory" said the travelling
man. that warts will go away when
you stop thinking about them may
have something in 1t, and | am in
clined to have faith in It, | know from
actual observation that warts can be
transferred, and will give you the case
in point.
Il was buying newspaper when |
noticed that the hands OF the newsboy
were covered with warts. His stand
was within a block of my house, but
/ am away so much the little fellow
did not know me by name. l said to
him:
you should get some one to charm
away those warts" that being the
method OF getting rid OF them when
l was boy,
They amt mine now" he said, II
sold them last week to Teddle Stearns.
and they'll go to him"
'Now Teddie Stearns Is my own
boy. and l did not like to think OF
his smooth, chubby hands being dis.
AGaASA WAbh WARTS anu HO nAi MT
live in wart atmosphere-they be-
long more exclusively to the barefoot
boy-with-cheek-of-tan conditions
had been such myself. When l went
home l called my boy to me and look
ed with some anxiety at his hands.
They We're as clean and white as a
girls.
What is 1t, papa?' he asked curl.
ously.
II am looking for warts"
Obi and he drew long. delight
ed breath. there aln't any yet, but
they're sure to come. for | bought
them from Carrotty Mike for a pin. He
says I'm sure to get EN-. Amt you
gladT
Glad? could have cried, and
believe his mother did cry. But that
blamed little cub said he wouldn't BE-
tenderfoot and he would have warts
read the riot act to him and wen,
away for months trip, and when
came back he was as proud as Punch
his hands had grown a crop OF warts
that discounted anything ever saw Ia
that line. hunted up Carrotty Mike
and. would you believe Il. there wasn't
wart on his hands, He had trans
ferred them all to my boy."-Chleagc
Record.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

Persons interested in wild flowers
are endeayoring to create-and to or
ganize-a sentiment for the protection
Of our native plants, especially near
large cities. The pondAlily, trailing
arputus. native orchids, fringed gem
tian and many OF the eyergreens have
been gathered in Massachusetts, for
sale in such quantities, and so steadily
sought by frequenters of suburban
woods, that their extinction is threat
ened. The remedy suggested is that
care be used to cut rather than pull
the flowers, so that the roots need not
be disturbed; and that those who
gather rare plants for the market
should be discouraged by lack Of
patronage.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
As the World
RexOIx,er
.ysDam Csysl1e Mil,

Miss Madge Johnson. daughts, :.
Or. Johnson OF Sag Harbor. |. I ~
other day took swim of twelve MIL, -
She was in the water seven hon.
Miss Johnson is about % years ola ~.
is devoted TO athletics. She So
away from Sag Harbor at 1: 40 o'elos.
in the morning to get the bensa, ],
the tide. Miss Halsey aud Miss a.
age accompanied her in rowboat a.
reached the beach at Greenport twslv.
miles away, at ll;4o o'clock. Throuas
out her long swim her companions 4.
clare that she never sought helm !,
rest in the boat and that she swan II.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
Irisb Em,&rafien rvlM Go o..

Michael payitt says 10 suAsaa..
that the Irish In America are helps.s
the Engiiah in Ireland BY "eaeoarzf.
ms our people 10 desert our eusaty-
ireland. Mr.. Dayltt says tia, darisf
the last nftern years TO 900 yu4.s
men and women have come from tai
Island to the United States 10 say
here Thus ireland has lost quartz
OF a million nghtinE men. That IA slsai
times the number OF the Bosn Va
have been lighting England Coz i've
years and who are '.s,lll uneonqesssi
and unronauarahls Unless tAls ssass
IL stopped. says Mr.. DaYitS. ''ihs csa
ia ireland will be In the fain0rsr.
which means that the eonsues, q. 81
country after ita hundreds Of pears 4
resistance viii have been all bar ecs.
gummated Mr.. DaYt,s has madensas
sacrifices for the cause which % tsr
20 his heart. There ID no Saerlsss
probably which be would not azis .
further what hr takes 70 b TIE $50
Interests Of bis native land Bet b
cannot reasonably expect lrlsAEn
who have become elslzcna o. AtzsFsa
to DO as devoted 10 she cause ~ " d
or 20 make a. many sacrifices tcf Z
50 he ia NOT fair when ho taxes thea
With helping England" and speraih
them for doing 30 much lnz than w.
Davltt thinks they ought 20 hays assa
TO help on The cause. Chicago Trs
una
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

The Missouri egg factory of Spring
field handles about $4,000 dozen eggs
day, all of which are candled before
entering the factory. About three
wagon loads of eggs are rejected each
day and hauled outside of the city
limits where they are dumped. A man
living near the Dumping ground has
collected enough chickens Matched by
The weather from eggs thus thrown
away to stock chicken farm. Every
day for a month or more he has been
carrying a number of chickens home
from the dumping ground, where they
,ad been Matched by the unprecedented
neat
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

Bernard Lauth went to work in a
Pittsburg rolling mill when he was
IL years old, and at 30, by industry
and frugality, he bad become manager
and part owner Of small iron plant.
One day, in examining some iron
which, IT was thought, careless work.
man had spoiled In rolling, he found.
to his surprise, that the supposed
worthless iron was superior In many
respects to that produced by the best
equipped mills, says Success. \ Lauth
said nothing, but at once began to
search for the cause of the singular
change. The result Of his own expert
ments, and his workmans careless
ness, was what is known among iron
men as the cold rolled process. In
consequence of his discovery his small
plant in few years had grown into
a mammoth establishment and he and
his partners were millionaires.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
A CarefnI Anntin.

Ihere Is story in the Boston
transcript about old black Joan. a
nanny OF the good old kind. who was
warned at a critical period in the
,amiiy fortunes not to tell all she know
70 the smaller children. "Huh." sav.
Joan seornfully. Think I duuner boy
70 TAX TO dat blessed chile, da, M
oelyE DE Lawd knows"--and IN n
pious protest went the pupils Of loan, =
Eyes ana out swept two broad ana
houry palms from the pan Of dorgh
20 Lawd Almighty knows ia IA,
Seeriui wat says to dat M hone,
s~eet, NY white lamb er Gawd dat
oh trnf," ''o single word
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

The value Of recipe lies partly in
its being accurately set down and fol-
lowed. Harper's Magazine has the fol-
lowing directions for making a break
fast delicacy called pop-overs, as they
were impaired by the Chinese servant
to lady visiting in the family: You
takee him one egg" said the master Of
the kitchen, zone lit cup milk. You
fxee him one cup fou' on sieve, take
pinch salt-you put him in lump. You
move him egg lit bit slow; you put
him milk In, all time move. You makee
him flou' go in, not move fast, 80 have
no spots. Makee but'led pan all same
WAN. not too hot. Putlee him in oven.
Now you mind you business. No like
woman run look at him all time. Him
done all same time biscuit"
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

Princess Clementine d'Orleans. who
Is now the only survivor Of the large
family of Louis Philippe, has cele-
brated her eighty-fourth birthday at
Schloss Ebenthal. her seat near Wen
ma, whittier she has just returned after
a long stay at Mentone. Princess
Clementine married Prince Augustus
of ax-Coburg-Gotha. brother of the
late king dowager of Portugal, and a
first cousin of Queen Victoria and of
the prince consort.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
rrr s,oRcHER's DESERVED FATE

x-NE stURCHER's DEsEhfEn
The bieyelist was scorching along
with his head down.
The little one had toddled out INTO
the road. and stood directly In his
path. - -.
The woman saw them both. ana
was too much frightened TO move. A
quick witted man would nave hsu
time to spring into the road ana pun
the little one out OF the way. but the
woman seemed helpless,
Suddenly she screamed. II was NO
ordinary scream, but an ear7splittins
shrek OF despair,
The bicyclist was so startled that
he looked seven ways at onee.lost con-
troll OF his wheel, hit the curb anu
didn't know where he was for tuiiy
ten minutes.
The child was saved.
A woman Is not always SO helpless
as she looks.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

Gladstone's humorous advice to the
farmers to convert their superfuous
turnips into beautiful jam has been
abundantly acted upon, even in the vir-
tuous United States. Around one case
OF the Agricultural Departments ex-
hibit at the Pan-American Exposition
hang squares Of cloth, originally white.
now yellow, orange, scarlet. crimson,
blue and purple all colored by aniline
dyes extracted from commercial Jam
and tellies. In comparison with such
nefarious adulteratlon comment would
DO eolorlesa.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
THE DIFFERENCE.

"He's quite prominent politician
here, Is he mott" inquired the visiting
Briton.
"oh, no; he's a statesman" replied
the native.
well, what's the ditrerenceT
"a statesman. my dear sir. Is one
who is in politics because he has
money. A politician Is one who mas
money because he Is in politics.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

An indianapolis woman called up
her grocer by telephone the other
morning. and after she had sufficiently
Hcolded the man who responded. said.
And what's more. the next order
you get from me will be the last ri
ever give you"
1T probably will. madam" said the
voice at the other end OF the wire;
you are talking to an undertaken"
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
A Catching Cold.

Tombs Angel--And how. my man.
do you come to be here?
Prisoner--Owin, to a cold In the
head. ma'am.
Tombs Angela cold in the head
Why
Prisoner You see. Il was this way.
! had a bad cold in tho head, and AZ
entered the mans room had 10
Snee2e and the man woke ND and
caught me.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

10 Say
ind It quite cav -.
In the FIRST place .s.
stand 81 facing %. o.
wall. with both i0.'
touching the Oa .s'
board. Now nic' !,
u ure back three % :,
your own feet ~
place a chair n, ~
tween you ana =,
wall Bend o Y.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
The latest census shows that there

The latest census shows that there
are 420,274 horses in Denmark, 1ss for
avery 100 acres under cultivation and
1876 per 1000 inhabitants; the sheep
number loss, $50. which is PSI per 100
acres and 456 per 1000 Inhabitants.
Denmark is an agricultural country.
About three-fourths OF the population
are engaged in the cultivation of the
soil. Copenhagen is the only city OF
any size.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

Il declare remarked De Kanter.
who had had a night with the boys,
I'm little hoarso this morning"
Indeed. dear?" said his wife. "You
weren't last night"
No, wasn't: that's So"
mo, you we're a big jackass."
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
nnMENfcn MoRELLL

week. had a political as well as 40 y
tistic career. lie was born al Nap's
In 1926. and took up arms asalla
King Ferdinand in 1sls. Hc DO ~
begin his studies as painter ua-
1854. and then he was the tempo1ss,
pupil OF Guerra. Morelli won m me-.
in 1861 at the Nsapolitan exhipluv1,
and in 1867 he was awarded 2 ~ -.
medal at the exposition In PARIS ~
late King OF Italy decorated him ~
several orders and he was highly ~, IA
ored In his own country. Among =. y
best works are Christ walking o. 3
Sea-" THE Ascension" THE Nau''s.,
'The Embodiment" and other PAN
ings illustrative of the life OF 1esv.
His best known historical painl,ns h
"Caesaro Borgia at Capua." mols
was highly admired by the Frs's
critics.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

the chair until your head to'icues ..,,h.
wall. Now raise tho chair, ana, n,
out moving your feet or toucn,ae ,oui
chair to the floor or wall, regain .ou,.
standing position. Don't BIO u's'
aged with one trying,
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
LITTLE SMILES


What have you been doing down
at Tatterwood?"
Jack has been teaching me to Cab"
Catch anything"
Yes, IL caught Jack"
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
Appropriate.

sub-editor-I like the style Of this
writer; his story has quito a swing
TO H.
Editor-Then we'd better publish I,
with our hammock literature.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02

T. suffern Taller OF New York Ia
salt to. have the best library OF books
OF porting subjects, and particularly
ri ridin2 ard driving, in this coun.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
A DARING WOMAN.
PECULIAR POWER OF A DARING EN-
GlISH SOCIETY LEADER.
Exercises a Mysterious Influence Over
the Minds of Her yictims--Lords and
shrewd Men of Business Among Her
Dupes.
London Letter.

London Letter.
High society of the old world fur
nishes for the great mass of humanity
outside the exclusive inner circle fav-
ored by those whose titles distinguish
them from the ordinary mortal many
choice sensations. The extraordinary
happenings in which the names OF
princes and princesses. lords. dukes,
duehesses and others high in the So
cial scale are concerned are of great
interest TO the lay mind as showing
that, however exalted position the
person may hold in land where class
es are greatly in evidence, he is but
human and not invulnerable to the
sins with which those less favored by
birth are beset The latest sensation,
which has set all London talking, has
been furnished by woman whose OPP
erations with all sorts of men. peers,
generals, dignitaries of the church and
diplomats, stamp her as possessed of
an unusual lack of good morals as well
as an unusual power over those whom
she wishes to crafty her desires. She
is Mrs. Howard Kingscote. daughter
of Sir Henry Drummond Wolff, and
she has had a remarkable career. On
the fiimsiest pretexts she has induced
men whose shrewdness in the business
worl,- has made their names prominent
i'll the circles of trade to loan her vast
sums of money, and when they APP
pealed to the courts to reimburse them
she would laugh them to scorn. Mrs.
Kingscote courts a sensation, and
to produce one will resort to almost
any means Now she has turned her
literary ability to account and has
published book in which she holds
her dupes up 20 ridicule. AS among
them are Lord Byron, Lord Burton
and the Duke of Cambridge, the publ
cation has produced more than rip
pie in the social sea.
Has an Extraordinary Power.
Mrs. Kingscote has an extraordinary
power, her victims claiming 1t TO be
an hypnotic influence, which gives her,
it would seem, complete control over
anothers faculties and compels him to
do her bidding. This, it is claimed, she
has acquired from personal study and
observation in the east, and also 1t Is
due partly to atavism. Her paternal
grandfather. Joseph Wolff, was He
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
THE TIME re LAUGH.
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL AND
SElECTEn,

A Sale of warts-ssprv Fatherly Advice
"A Pun that Got u Living for the
Author--A Personal Favor-scorcher's
Fate.
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
Sriek for a BOY.

Hero Is trick that Ia almost - y.
possible for boy to do. but. s'is ~,
Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1901-10-02
Hypnotlzed the Court.

Efforts were made to bring Mrs.
Kingscote to justice, but she seemed to
exercise a power over the courts also
and treated with contempt the Court
of Bankruptcy and summonses to APP
pear for examination in connection
with several Of her crooked transact
lions.
The dupes referred to are believed TO
form only a very few OF those who
have fallen victims to Mrs. Kingscote's
mysterious influence. She dealt with
all manner OF men, their possession of
wealth being the only consideration
she exacted.
Her complete confidence in her pow
eT to control mems actions Is shown
by her invarlable practice OF writing
mean. insulting letters to those she
had beaten. Now, as a browning in
suit, she has put upon the market a
book in which are portrayed. so thin
ly yelled that any one at all familiar
with her proceedings may recognize
the characters, the dupes she desires to
hold UP to the worlds ridlcule. Her
book is being widely read and COM
mented upon and serves to establish
her still more firmly In the minds of
society as woman Of depraved NOR
ais whose possession of an influence
beyond the ken of western intellects
makes her dangerous factor In the
affairs Of mankind, and one who
should be summed by society OF all
classes.