New-York tribune., 1901-01-28
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

Or John P. Wood. OF Coreyville Kan, who has
Just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday ami
versary has closed contract for series OF lect-
ures on Longevity" He stu actively practiseS
medicine.
"A Shilling word."-"Flipins seems TO have
''The same old Bank OF England note. should
say."-(Detroit Journal.
During the recent work OF restoring ST. Martins
Church at vevey. Switzerland. primitive edihce
discovered few feet below the floor OF the
building In shape IL somewhat resembled a
church but the style OF architecture is quite for
eign Europe and bears traces of Oriental source.
The walls and foundations of The relic in
markable state of preservation, and the structure
is believed by experts TO be OF the earliest
buildings in which stone employed.
Farmer Hayseed-No. 1 don't want any more
labor savin machines. I've tried enough OF EN-.
Look in there. Thar's a typewrtin machine my
'tarnaI swindle.
Farmer he masF With With W You can't
write y'r name with the tarnal thing unless you
Weekly.
During the last year there was an increase OF
nearly SO 900 in the value Of monkey skins exported
from the Gold Coast II is estimated that az least
million monkeys were killed in that district
alone.
a, A guardian Of Home Irdustr:es-',No," said the
gambling going in this city,
We'll! Welt" exclaimed the stranger, who was
jersey, Where's the nearest ferry?''
Wei. old man" said the copper. sottening some
what, seeing you're bent on IL. | suppose | might
well keep the money in the city. How big a
game are YOU looking for?'-(Puck
typical bad man has just been arrested in
Southwestern wilderness bearing the odd name OF
Macoo This blood and thunder villain is said to
have had score of notches his gun. each
notch telling the horrid tale of a human life cut
short 1t Is further asseverated that this whole
sale assassin had killed three Mexicans few DAYS
before imping Justice laid him by the heels. II Is
not unlikely that this annihiIator OF hapless vic
Tins Is a mythical person, mythical the wild
beasts which, the story goes forced Ex-Governor
Roosevelt to take to the trees in Colorado. But if
there is any 'sich' person. Sairey Camp said OF
the imaginary Mrs Harris. what figure he would
cut in a Bowery melodramai
SeribbelloWhat makes young Penner so blue?
WrlSht-On heS green at the business, and he's
the editor.-(Philadelphia Record.
John Miller, OF Penns Grove N j." says The
Philadelphia Record claims to be the only sue
cessful grower Of genuine Irish shamrock in this
country. BY raising fourishing crop in his store
window he has rendered speechless a Hibernian
friend. Andrew Moriarty. who heretofore had
asserted that the plant intensely Irish that
mere removal from the Emerald Isle caused II TO
pine and die, Mr., Miller is a German. and he
aroused his friend Moriartys indignation by de-
claring that he had frequently seen shamrock in
the Hartz Mountains. To prove his assertion he
offered TO raise fine crop soil from his old
home II the other would supply him with a few
shoots of the genuine Irish article The bargain
was concluded, and the result Is whole show
window full Of shamrock. which is the delight
of the Irish born residents of Penn's Grove. The
shamrock nursery is one of the curiosities of the
town.
How dye do? remarked the stranger. -''It looks
like snow doesn't it?'
GOSH what as yer" exclaimed the astonshed
rustic Its snowin' heavy now"
Yes / know / say II looks like snow. IL never
looks that in the city."-(Phiadelphia Press.