Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-08-15
DOWNFALL OF AN EXPERT.
Sad Awakening OF a Lady Who
Knew All About Raising Child
rem, or Rather Thought b

| Sad Awakening OF q Lady VINO
Knew All About Raising Child
rem, or Rather Thought b
Knew.
Now. behold. there came a time In
the land when all tine women belonged
unto clubs.
And every club was devoted unto the
| solving of problems which were better
| tackled single-handed, or might as
well have been left alone in the nrst
place.
And great was the sale of eneyelope-
dias. for all the women had to write
papers about things Of which they mad
never heard.
Verify, they asked more questions
than a conundrum social.
Now, it came to pass that certain OF
the women of the land said one TO an
other:
Let us have a mothers conven-
ton"
And the others answered with n
voice: Wont that me cute? Let's.
And it was so.
Now, when they had gathered in the
place of the convention there arose n
among them with a paper.
And the heading Of the paper was:
"The Only Real Tip on the Correst
Mode OF Raising Children"
And the woman who had the paper
was a maiden Of uncertain age, II you
took her word for it.
But. verify, II you took a look at her
| there was neither uncertainty nor u
in thy mind. -,
| And she read from the paper. and told
them all about it, ever all.
So that. when she had finished, one
among them rose up, and said:
Behold, there is nothing more to be
| said or to be written. Let us go hence
and go to the mark-down sales and the
places of the soda fountains"
So they all departed, and the woman
who had read the paper awoke the next
morning to find her picture in the
dailies.
For she had sent it unto the men
that are called editors.
Now, it also came to pass tina this
woman had q sister, who was married,
and who furthermore had four child
rem
AND the married one was going away
for a journey and would fain leave the
children at home.
So she called unto her maiden sister,
saying:
IF it seemeth fair in thy sight, 1t
would be real nice of you to take care
of the little darlings while l am away
And the sister smiled a glad smile
and vowed that she would be happy to
do it.
And when she took charge of the
children she ooh also with her the pa
per that she had read.
Behold. in two minutes the first par
agraph thereof was rendered null and
void.
For the children yielded not unto her
singing, moi would they sit themselves
still and listen unto the stories which
she had advised being told unto them.
When she sought to inculeate good
principles by means of a tale OF noble
actions, she was asked to Cut 1t out"
When she suggested that the children
play the game that is called Ring
Around a Rosey,'' she was asked to go
back to the woods.
When she sought to tempt them with
"Puss in the corner she was urged to
get an alarm clock and come to her
self, for she was in an apparent slum-
Der.
When she tried moral suasion upon
them they continued to eat from the
jam jar and to wipe their fingers upon
the lace curtains.
When she epdeavored to get them to
! desist from their ways, which she call
ed naughty" they beseeched her to go
and get a reputation.
And she took the paper that she had
read unto the convention and tore 1t
into fragments.
And threw the fragments into the
street.
And she went out into the yard and
selected some long, vigorous switches
from a peach tree which grew there.
Behold, when the mother returned
unto her home she found her children
eating from off the mantlepiece and
behaving with much obedience.
While the maiden aunt sat in the
midst of them with a CAD in her hand
and a grim look in her eyes.
Now, there is a large and valuable
moral attached unto this tale, which
the same is:
1t Is Always Easy to Raise Other
Peoples Children, Until You Try to Do
the Trick Jos Wink in Baltimore