davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
I oxpect?" sighed the grocer.

l oxpect?" sighed the grocer.
They were right on top, Mr.. Wasser-
man. Mrs. C'Sullivan carried herself like
a queen of the realm, and Tim went out
and got on a ognac drunk The only
gilt papered parlor on the block, you see,
any why shouldn't they be happy? Mrs.
T~orrington was in the sulks in her third
floor rooms and didn't show up. After
the crowd had gone l met the Countess
Divito in the second hall and felt to pity
her. She had been weeping. and the tears
came to her eyes afresh as she laid her
hand on my arm and said:
"Zhanitor, 1 be one cr-r-r-r-ushed wo-
mans. Data Mrs. O'Sully knocka me outa
in one heap"
"Und she don't do nottings?'
"Oh, don't she? Wasn't I asking you
the other day, Mr.. Wasserman, if you
ever knew a woman to take a snub and
not try to repay it? OF course the count
ess did something, and SO did the darky's
wife. They were bound to, and their hus-
bands were bound to support them in it,
1 wondered what move they'd make. but
didn't have to wait long. Next morning
the countess started out. and within an
hour she was back with two paper hang
ers and gilt paper for every room, even to
the clothes closets. It was the real gilt,
with six inches borders, and she had pa
per for the ceilings as well as the walls.
She told me yesterday that the whole
thing cost her So and added:
Where data O'Sully woman now, Ell?
Who walka around dis time with her nose
up so hfgh?'"
1T vhas sadness-it vhas sadness,'
sighed the grocer as he shook his head
in a mournful way. How vhas it dot
folk can't walk along und be some joy
und happiness und go to heafen when dey
dep
Yes, how is ft?" unused the ~janitor.
They can't, however. and It's no use
signing over It. When the paher hangers
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
M'MURPHY'S FLATS.
The Janitor Tells the German Grocer
Of Some Happenings.
(Copyright, 1901, by c.. 3. Lewis.)

Copyright, 1901, by c. B. Lewis.)
"Py golly, but you vhas lame IN your
left Leg" exclaimed the German grocer as
the janitor of McMurphy's flats appeared
before him the other Gay Just ss he had
sold a sumner bargain IN strawberries
which had been kept three days too long.
Somewhat lame. Mr.. wasserman," an
swered the ~janttor, but nothing to worry
ehout. The fact Is. l picked up this limp
three or -FOUR days ego II order not to
cverexert myself, and 1 shall crop most
OF it Tomorrow. A ~1anitor with a limp
can't be expected to rush up and down
stairs. climb s~tep-ladders o. sweep halls.
He's got to be given time to get over It"
"Und ycu hat some asthma too?"
Eyes. l don't forget that. That's my
standard aiiment, and linps and other
things ere extra. A tenant who'd ask an
asthmatis ;anitcr to lug out a garbage
pail or lift a chunk OF ice would have no
sympathy for suffering humanity"
"Und aboudt dose peoples in der flats.
Mr.. S~procket." cautiously queried the
grocer-"does peoples who don't like to
take same happiness together"
well. I came in to tell you about EN-.
We've had a hot time ever at our place
for the last week. If / wasn't an asth-
matte ~janitor. / should lave been in the
hospital three lays ago.. I've told you
how the three women have been trying
to get ahead of each other and carry off
the honor of being swagger. Mrs. TORI
ington, the colored BARRIERS wife. was
ahead OF the game last week, but it's
Mrs. Sullivan whose nose is pointed the
highest just at present"
"Und vhas 1t all ~onhappiness still?"
Yes. The -heartburnings and ran
kings have increased instead of dimin-
ished. 1t started IN again with Mrs. OsSul-
Ivan. I told each one OF the families
when they moved in that McMurphy
would make no repairs for a year. and 50
she didn't say a word to me when she Se-
cided to paper the walls of her parlor. Al
the walls were left white. you know, and
It was q neat little stroke on her part to
have the only papered room. When she,
got started. she didn't stop At IS cents :
roll with : pink lower On Il She went
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

Scotswoman in her cottage. He called
i, merely Granny Maciachlan.n When
1t was nearly finished. he allowed gran
ny's daughter to see it.
She looked at it for a long time in si-
lence and then said: Its awfu' like
my mither, sir. l wad like fine to buy
II frae ye,
"Weel." remarked Mr.. Faed, I'm
glad ye're pleased wi 1t. Hoo muckle
will We gle me-"
The girl counted up her money and
replied. "A shilling an a wheen tlot of
apples I'm keepin for halloween"
"Eh, lassie?' said the painter,
"That'll no dae. I'm waintin $500 for
the picture"
'Blethers," was the emphatic retort.
The hall Digging whole housed. gar
den an a wadna bring half that mon
cyl
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
DEE GERMAN
He Turns Philosopher AMI Has a
Hard Time of Ii.


Copyright, 1901, by C. B. Lewis.)
1t vhas der butcher on der next corner
who comes in my shop one day und looks
aroundt und says:
Hans. how she vhss dot you don't rush
some peesnessf"
because no peesness come aroundt,"
l says.
But you should make some peesness
come aroundt. Ply golly, but if l vhas in
your place, 1 would hat my plug hat und
gold headed cane in four weeks! l know
more ash ten t'ousand peoples who like
cement patches on DER shoes. but dey
don't come to you because you don't haf
some brains. 1t vhas sorrowful to see q
man sit still und go by der p~oorhouse."
But What can I do?" l says"
Il Will tell you. Did you eater hear of
dot man named Diogenes?"
Did he lii in Philadelphia
mo. sir. He Ifs In Greece a long time
ago, und he has asphtlosopher Dot man
vhas so poor dot he Ifs in a tub und eats
turnips. but Ply und Ply he vhas reech und
famous. 1t vhas all Ply his philosophy.
You know hat philosophy is, don't your"
"Of course. If you hat a boil on your
leg. you must be glad dot it amt on your
neck"
"Exactly-exactly. VhelI, Hans, you
shall be a philosopher. You shall put oop
signs on der walls, und l shall tell all der
peoples, und in a leetle time eaferypody
Will be talking aboudt Hans der Philoso-
pher. In two weeks so mooch work comes
in dot you shall hire two men to helm
you. In one month all der dago cobblers
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

stopped for want of cleaning he beamed
on her instead of asking whether she had
punched 1t with a crowbar or battered it
with an AK. Mrs. Bowser looked upon
these signs as ominous, but she couldn't
tell whether he was going to spring a new
fad on her or suggest a spelling bee. In
hopes to avert a calamity she suggested
a call on a neighbor, but he looked at her
in a loving way and said:
mot this evening, dear. L wish to re-
main at home and take solid comfort. All
the way home 1 was saying to myself that
I had the incest wife and the pleasantest
home in the world"
THAT was good of you" she replied. de-
lighted at the compliment and forgetting
her fears for a moment.
yes, the incest wife and the pleas
ATTEST home, and 1 want you to Under
stand that both are thoroughly appreci-
ated. If all men were as we'll off as 1
am, there would be very little in this
world to complain Of"
Mrs. Bowser murmured her qualification,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

for gilt at 10 cents a roll. something good
enough for a banker. Aand she had a regu-
lar paper hanger come from a regular
shop to put 1t on"
"Und 1t makes some excitement. ehT'
Say. you ought to have seen our block
holding It's breath when 1t became known
that Mrs. OSullivan's parlor was going
to be paperad in gilt. Why, the excite
rseat was five times greater than when
OIiggtns ticks his wife and smashes uc
his furniture. I had to send fer g police
nan to Keep the crowd out Of the house.
ara three or four newspaper men cane
around to learn if Tim O'sull.van hadn't
been left a legacy. The paper was pu. on
in one day. and when night came Mrs.
OSullivan lighted four gas burners and
let the crowd in to see and applaud.
There was d procession a mile long, and
it took three hours to work EN- in ard
ont
.Und dose O'Sullivans vhas happy folks,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

no haldheaded nan should seek 10 run a
comb factory. ] vhas baldheaded, und you
like TO make fun of me-"
But / don't neffer see your BALD head
p~efore."
Don't lie to me, cobbler, Ten times l
vhas In dis shop nit my hat off. und ten
times you see nay badness. You like 10
hat some SMOKES on me because my hair
vhas gon AWAY. but you find oudt dot
she don't pay. If you Will come oudt-
doors. l shall make your heart ache.
l don't go oudt. und dot baldhead vhas
still by der door when a big fat man
crowds him AWAY und comes in und says:
What yes it aboudt Hans der Philoso-
pher? Was 1t you. cohhler?"
She vhas." / says.
How vhas YOU a philosopher"
Il don't know
"Nher vhas dot philosophy"
All aroundt you. Look at dose signs"
He reads two signs uad laughs. He
reads two more und says I vhas a true
philosopher. Den he reads one und gets
red NIT his fact und says to me:
"Cobeler, how yhas il when you say dot
fat mans may jar der earth, but lean
mans make its history"
Il don't exactly know" i says.
"Vhas / too fat?''
II can't say"
Don't / haf some brains?'
Il don't know"
vhas some sorrowful man When he goes
oudt und l send for dot butcher und tell
him how she vhas. He scratches his head
und thinks und thinks, und py und by he
says:
All. now l see how she vhasl I put In
some OF my old signs py mistake. Dey
vhas all right to sell country sausages in
a butcher place, but dey vhas all wrong
to pring some cement patches into a cob
bier shop. Maybe 1t vhas better If you go
fishing und let philosophy hat some rests"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

Il will raise you fve." she calmly said.
But how can your" he shouted. You
only held up one card"
i know it, but I'll raise your bet just
the same"
You will, Ell? Well, I'll see the raise
and call your hand. and If you amt the
sickest woman in this town"
But Mrs. Bowser maintained her
health. When he laid down two pairs,
she laid down threes. and his chin was
shaking as he exclaimed:
There's ~skulduddery here somewhere.
but shall soon get on to 1t! No human
being ever held two such hands running.
Give me the deal"
Wonderful luck attended Mrs. Bowser's
hands. On the third deal she got a
straight, while Mr.. Bowser got threes.
When she announced that she'd stand pat
again, he looked at her for a minute and
made up his mind that she had heard of
bluffs" somewhere and was trying it on
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09

Not a bit of it," smiled the ~janitor.
There was nothing luny about her. She
was simply leading the procession. and
she's queen of the block to-day. McMur-
ply came around last night, and when l
told him of the improvements to the flats
he laughed and winked and told ME 10
encourage. the row and see If Mrs. O'Sul-
liyan wouldn't add on a fourth story to
get above the darby"
"Und dis o~nhappiness vhas to go onT"
1T looks like It,"
'Und nopody vhas to take comforts?"
Not in our flats
"Um, um, UNI! Mr.. sprocket. here vhas
two eucumbers und a lemon. und l like
you 10 go home und say to dose peoples
dot some wicked folks don't If oudt hat
DER days"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
Disinteres,ea Mary.

The Sunday school teacher was din
ing with her little 4~-year-old pupil, and
as each had a nice plate of pudding she
thought she would teach her a little les
son in unselfshness,
Mary" she said, "if there was a
poor, starving woman at the door what
would you do to help herr"
why" said Mary. her face beaming
with kindness, I'D give her your plate
OF pudding"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
MR.. BowsER's GAME.
How He Taught Mrs. Bowser to Play
Poker.

IOAGIs
Copyright, 1901, by C. B. Lewis.)
1t was one Of Mr.. Bowser's good nights.
He came home looking cheerful and happy
and when Mrs. Bowser met him in the
hall and announced that the new cook
was incompetent and the dinner was
spoiled he kindly replied:
well, we won't worry about that. 1
guess you can scrape enough together to
make some sort Of a meal"
There was plenty of occasion to find
fault, but he ate what was set before him
and continued to smile. When Mrs. Bow
ser told him that he must order a ton of
range coal in the morning, he did not
charge her with selling half the last ton
to buy caramels, and when he saw the
gas bill for the last month he actually
compiimented her or keeping down the
family expenses. AS they reached the sit
ting room he found a hairpin on the floor,
but he had nothing to say about reckless
extravaganza and the ~poorhouse, and
when she told him hat the clock had
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
Did Not Like IL. origin.

Johnnine had been staying in the coun-
try with his aunt. When he came back.
his mother asked him II he had enjoyed
himself.
Yes" said Johnnioe. II liked It all ex-
eept n thing At auntie's they gave
us milk from a horrld old COW. At home
here il come out of a nice, clean shop"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-09
An ExtrnvnEant Price.

Thomas Faed, r. A., the Scotch art
list, was unrIvaled as a painter of sim
pie. homely subjects. One OF his finest
water colors was a study of an old
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
Dr., J, W, Crofford Arrested on d
Second CHARGE.

Sheriff Wolever went to Lamont last
Friday and again arrested DIR. J. w.
or Oxford an information having been
filed before Justice J. l.. Harvey bv John
Farnes, of this city, charging him with
having performed criminal operation
on his daughter, Martha Farnes, a
young girl about 10 years of age.
1t seems that Miss Farnes was a pa
tent in the sanitarium at Lamont when
Maud Stone died, and she was removed
during the following night to a house
about six miles south of Lamont across
the line in Missouri, since which time
she has been very sick. The latter part
Of last week 1T was not expected she
could live, and when Mr.. Farnes
learned of the affair he swore out an in.
formation against DR.. Crofford
Sheriff Wolever brought Crof1ord to
Leon on Friday evening and OF Satur.
day morning he gave bonds of 81 900 to
appear at the preliminary examination
which was set for Tuesday. On that
day he took change of venue to Justice
Beck and the hearing was postponed I'M
til April 18th in order to give the grand
jury chance to act on the matter, his
bond being continued at 900.
The latest word from the girl was that
she was better and is now in fair way
to recover
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
The library.

The library association acknowledge
with thanks the donation of many
good books during the past two weeks.
So far as known to the librarian the
names of the donors are as follows: Mrs.
l.. c. Sales, Mrs. Carrie Hyatt, Mrs. H..
K. Layton, Mrs. S l.. Darrah, Mrs. H.
j. Close, Mrs. o. E. Hull.
The books sent by each number from
one to eighteen volumes. If others have
sent in books when the librarian was
absent due acknowledgement will be
gladly made on notification of the fact.
Further book donations are invited.
The work Of preparing for the loan
department is progressing as rapidly as
the nature of the same will permit. But
it is hoped that the public will appreci-
ate the fact that such work can not be
hurried, and that when the new books
are on the shelves, ready for loaning
under the latest library system and
when the work expended on the old
books to restore them to further useful
ness is seen the cause Of the delay will
be understood. Meanwhile come and
enjoy the many periodicals, daily pa
pers, ETC., to be found in our CHEEKY
reading room. The same is open every
evening from till $50 and on Sunday
afternoon from till $50.
Librarian
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
SMITII-RICHEY,

On Wednesday, Feb. 6, 1901, at the
home OF Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Smith, in
Long Creek township, occurred the mar.
riage OF their daughter Alice to Arthur
B. Richey, of New Virginia, Iowa, Rev.
j. w. Caldwell, of Van Vert, officiating.
The bride is favorably known to the
people of this community having been
raised here. The groom is prosperous
farmer of Warren county, Iowa.
The newly married couple left on the
afternoon train for their future home
near New Virginia, Iowa, taking with
them many useful and valuable pres
ents as tokens Of the high esteem in
which they are held by their many
friends. All wish them much Joy and
happiness in their life together.
Those present at the wedding were:
Mr.: and Mrs. Frank Richey, aud family
OF New Virginia, Mr.. and Mrs. Miller
and family, Of St. Charles, MIR. and Mrs
Chas. Imhott, of Van Vert, Mr.. Melon
aid, of Covilla, Misses Fannie and Ber
tina Richey, Of Plattsmouth, Neb. Mis-.
nellie Sanger, of Leon, Mr.. Elmer Smith
Of Van Vert, Mrs. j.. w. Caldwell, o
| Van Vert.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
CRAIGO. DuRELL

| On last Thursday evening there was a
quiet home wedding solemnized at the
home of the BRIDES mother, Mrs. w. F.
Kelley on llth street, the contracting
parties being Mr.. B. r. Craigo and Miss
Mae A. Durell.
The ceremony was witnessed only by
the immediate relatives Of the contract.
ing parties, the ceremony being per-
formed by Rev. Joseph Ste phen, pastor
of the M. E. church.
The groom is the popular foreman of
The REPORTER Office, having been con
nected with the Office for the past ten
years. He is an industrious young man
competent workman, and he has Sc
cured charming young lady for his
companion through life.
The bride is the youngest daughter OF
Mrs. W. +. Kelley, beautiful and &C.
complished young lady and one who
enjoys the friendship of large circle of
friends. She graduated from the Leon
High School in the class of 1913.
This worthy young couple were the
recipients of some useful and costly
presents from numerous friends.
Mr.. and Mrs Craigo will occupy the
residence Of Mrs. Kelley who expects
shortly o'go to Rockford, ILL.,, and they
have furnished the house in very coy
manner. Many friends in this city ex-
tend hearty congratulations to this
young couple and wish them long and
happy married life into which it is
hoped there will never be a cloud OF
sorrow, but one bright and lasting
honeymoon.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
Held to the Grand Jury,

The preliminary examination of w. T.
Allen, Of Long Creek, township, who
was arrested on Wednesday of last week
on the charge of striking Mrs. Isaac
West on the head with an ak, was held
Tuesday before Justice q. w. Beck, to
whom change of venue was taken from
Justice Harvey.
County attorney Olsen and G. w.
Hoffman appeared for the state and
Geo. w. Baker for the defendant. From
the testimony there seems to be two
sides to the story. Mrs. West and her
little son testified that Allen and his
wife assaulted them and tried to kill
them because they would not allow his
wife to drive load Of fodder through
their yard. Allen is a tenant of Mr..
West and had been sick in bed for sew
eral weeks. Recently West and he had
some trouble over a fence and West
gave him notice to vacate March LIST.
Mrs. Allen had gone to the field to get a
the gate it was locked and wagon
sent her little boy home for Mr..
cut the fence and revolver to protect
ulluoOlt. 41cIc WAS RcucIdl row.
Mrs. Allen was knocked down, Allen
was pounded with clubs by Mrs. West
and her boy and Mrs. Allen struck the
West boy with fence board, while to
cap the climax Allen struck Mrs. West
on the head with the ak, inflicting a
scalp wound about an inch and a half
long.
II was general family row. The de.
PENDANT introduced evidence to show
that Mrs. West was quarrelsome and
did not get along with her neighbors.
After hearing the evidence and argu-
ments of the attorneys, Justice Beck
bound Allen over to the grand jury un,
der $500 bonds. Being unable to give
bonds Allen is in jail, but it is thought
bond will be secured for him this
week.
The county is in for big bill of cost;
and the neighbors haye something to
talk about.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
K. p. Anniversary.

Hesperia Lodge No. 80, X. of P. will
celebrate the 37th anniversary of the
order at the X. P. hall next Wednesday
evening. The Rathbone sisters have
taken full charge of the affair which in
sures it being big success. The ladies
will serve supper on the second floor
from $50 until $50 O'Clock and during
the supper hour there will be music,
vocal and instrumental, it being the in
tention to enjoy social time Rev
Grant Robbins, the most popular lect.
urer ever in Leon has been secured to
deliver an address in the X. 2. hall
after supper. 1t will be grand treat to
to hear him, for he is great favorite IN
this city. Tickets to supper and lecture
will be so cents, one ticket admitting to
both and it will be necessary to nave a
ticket to get into either the supper
room or the X. P. hall. The mere an.
nouncement that the Rathbone sisters
will serve the supper is guarantee that
it will be first class in every particular.
A general invitation is extended to the
public. Come and spend an enjoyable
evening.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
THE cnURcnEs.

Elder Il. M. Elviu will preach at the
L. D. s. church next Sunday at III an.
and 7:30 p. m. -
There win be the usual services at
Crown Chapel next Sunday, the pulpit
being supplied by the Rev. Mr.. Davis,
of Alton.
Rev. w. II. Ilsley returned Satur-
day from Creston, where he had been
assisting with q series of meetings at
Zoar Presbyterian church.
At the Christian church next Lords.
day, the pastor will preach as follows:
Morning:-"The Divine Tombstone. .
Evening:-"What Think Ye of Christi,
Preaching at the Baptist church next
Sunday morning by pa stor +. Edwards.
Subject:-"The Unequal Yoke Sub
ject in the evening" Sin ofIndecis
ion." These questions will be decided
by the light reflected by the word.
Rev. w. H. Ilsley will preach in Cres-
ton next Sabbath, and the Rev. MIR.
Davis, Of Alton, will preach in the Pres
byterian church in this city. Mr.. Davis
is engaged in meetings with Mr. Sunday
as leader; and should it occur that he
can not come Mr.. Baxter will come in
his stead.
On next Sunday the pastor of the NJ.
E Church will preach from the follow
subject: "Ihe Lesson Of Deliverance
or Gods Method of Schooling the Soul. +"
PROGRAM II A. Nj.
Opening song Rescue the Perishing Choir,
inrocation -. i'aStor
AuLuCm IIpiH NcS' .s. ...--tU OlIs
Scripture Reading Prof n. Drake,
Solo,. .-..........-.,.. Mrs. Cora HUI
.......-..-............. Mrs. Stella stephens
Male Quartet stand by the Home"
$1,000. -. Tatman, Warner Mum, Conrey
Chorus 'tSeeking the Losl''......... Choir.
Defamation RUNS Tragedies
>. 49,. -. -. -. Bessie cowdeu.
................ Misses Cowden ana Schencl
Solo ION the Streets at Midnight .......
=. -...-..... .....,...... Mrs. G. B. Daueherg
Grafton Americas Womanhoodn -.
Duet Lead Me Gently Home, Father
....................MI Miss Merwin, DR.. Rowe
Short address Temperance" 80 Rev. Stephr
Solo (impersonatedj 1.-THE Wandering Boy
............. 80. Misses Sanders and Cowde
song 1.-THE Whisky Shops Must Go"Choir
Benediction.
The people. of the town and country al.
earnestly invited to these services.
The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14

( To-day is st. Valentines day and the
small boy has chance to get even with
his big sister who has made him 20 to
bed early while she receives visit from
her beau. If you watch closely the
postoffice you can see people who have
grudge against their neighbors stealth
ily slipping in numerous envelopes adj
contain those horrid pictures called
comic valentines, and then stand around
waning TO see the looK on the person.
face when they receive their mail. Sew
eral dealers have already disposed OF
large stocks of the cheap valentines and
many Of the dainty and pretty ones
which contain messages Of hidden love.