Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1901-06-05
WOMEN AND SECRETS.
HATEFUL OLD TRADITION THAT
HAS STARVED TO DEATH.
REALLY WOMEN ARE REGARDED AS
THE NATURAL REPOSITORIES OF
sECRETs-A LITTLE ADVICE.

a doubt in the minds of the many that
she can.
As general rule, it is agreed that
man can. Why an exception Of the
trustworthiuess Of women in this direc-
ton has come to be commonly believed
is bit puzzling when one sets one
self to the task of finding out the reason
that gave rise to the belief.
That the belief is SO common leads one
to think that the unwisdom Of selecting
a woman for a confidante has been prov
ed SO many times it has been evident to
even the most casual observer, when, as
matter of fact, the most loyal Of Sc
cret keepers the world has ever known
have been women. There is the wife or
mother or sister who down in the bottom
Of her heard holds sacred many a trust
reposed in her.
But what of the woman friend? Oh,
perhaps you, like many a one of us,
make the mistake Of bsstowing your con-
fidence too lightly. Maybe you have SO
longed to confide something in some one
that it was not matter of selection, but
rather of accident, that Jennie or Clara
was asked to lend ready ear to what
you had to say. OF course l will grant
you, even though these were the circum-
stances, Jennie or Clara should have
been worthy the trust you reposed in
them; but, having really little or no per-
sonal interest in you, they only thought 1t
a small matter when they repeated what
you had told them. And, maybe, too,
when the story was retold by them it
was only because they sympathized with
you and wanted another to do the same.
But since it is commonly believed,
however unjustly, that women are very
lax as secret keepers it rests with women
themselves to prove that such an asser-
ton is merely hateful old tradition that
has long ago died out because it had
nothing to feed upon. However much
material it found in the days long ago
when everybody expected women to be
weak in every sense of the word, it is an
Gent history with which the woman Of
the present has little or no concern.
Do you know that women are told more
secrets than are men? Women are re-
garded as the natural repositories of Sc
crets. They are thought, and rightly, to
be creatures tender of heart and with
sympathy so wide and generous that the
whole world might creep into the enjoy
ment of it and still there be plenty and
to spare.
A secret shared, you know, is no longer
q secret. This, however, is a rule with a
blessed exception. 1t is still a secret
when shared with some one who loves
you dearly. for when you say to this one,
1T is my wish that this be known to only
you." the loving one would never think of
wounding you by betrayal.
There are not many as generous mind
ed women. know, as this one-and of a
fact | wish there were-who answered
her husband in this wise, he having hint
ed that there was something he would
like to tell her, but feared it was best not
to. "My dear" said this generous mind
ed woman, "of course would like to
know about anything that interests you,
but if to tell it would be to betray the
confidence of another l would not have
you"
The man stopped and CALAMITY kissed
the hand of the little woman.
at would be betraying the trust of an
other" he said, land / thank you for re-
minding me of how unworthy it would be
to do So"
The little woman looked up at him and
smiled and then went on placidly reading
her book. There was no thought in her
heart that she had done anything heroic,
and am certain had her moment of curl
osity been gratifed (for she is only hui
man and experienced this she would not
have felt as satisfied as she did with the
tribute from the man who knows better
than any one else her faults as well as her
virtues.
One woman writer long time ago
said "a secret at home is like rocks I'M
der tide
or course the water hides the rocks,
but occasionally the tide is low. and
there is at least hint of the rocks be-
meath. il they are not entirely revealed.
There is no pardon for the disloyalty
Of one member of family to another.
Because it is impossible to hide from
those dwelling under the same roof with
you all the ms and outs Of your life is
the very reason that one should respect
every discovery made.
The most honest of US would hardly
make a confession that included the ad-
mission Of a fault or shortening that
would make us appear anything but good
in the eyes of the one to whom we con-
fessed, but il you have confdant to
whom you may even admit your short
comings without fear of falling in her
estimation fortunate, indeed, then are you.
Such a confdant is usually mother,
and if she is not she should be. A moth
er should be the very best friend of her
sons as well as her daughters. First of
all, she must be generous. No matter
how wrong she thinks this or that she
must be willing to forgive her children
when they tell her or she learns through
some other source that they have been
guilty of those very things which she
most heartily condemns. 1t is far bet
ter for her to be known to her children
as generous judge than as just one.
There is no chance that her influence for
good will be less because she is regard
ed so.
1t is nice thing to see in home
brother "chummy" enough with his sis
ter to relate to her the story of his little
escapades at school or elsewhere. This
sort Of sister. you will find. is very wise
little body. She knows just how much to
laugh and how much to scold. and to say