The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-08-17

Jock collapsed.
Highland hotel keeper was one
day having squabble with an Eng
lishman in the lobby of a hotel about
his bill. The stranger said it was a
gross imposition-he could live cheap
er in the best hotel in London. The
Highland landlord replied: "Oh, nae
doot, sir, nae doot; but dae We mo- ken
the reason?" mo, not a bit of it," re-
piled the stranger hastily. 'Weel,
then" replied the host, las We seem to
be a sensible bit Gallant. I'll tell We.
There's 365 days in the Lunnon hotel
keepers calendar; but we have only
three months here. Dae We understand
me moo. freen'? We maun MAX hay
in the Hielans when the sun shines,
for it's uncon seldom she dist"
Rev. Rorie Mcpherson was the min
lister of the kirk in the village of W,
in Western Ontario, and his friend,
Rev. Donald Mcdonald, was minister
of Y, about ten miles distant. The
former was holding the semi-annual
sacrament, and his friend was to
preach on the Friday night, but owing
to bad roads he did not appear in time,
and the local pastor had to take his
place, much against his will, as he had
not prepared for such an emergency.
But he fell back on a very old sub
ject which could scarcely be called ap
propriate-Luther translating the BIZ
BILE in Warburg, and the famous scene
where the devil appeared to him in his
study and called Martin by name.
Get thee behind me, Satan" was the
stern reply of the great reformer, who
then throw his ink-horn at the horned
head of "Auld Clootle," who took the
hint that his visit was unwelcome, but
promised to return at some more con-
venient season for his proposed vic
time. Rev. Rorie, anxious to pass the
time till his friend should appear, d.
lated at some length on the discomfort
of Luthers living in a state of sus-
pense, expecting a second and perhaps
more disagreeable visit when he should
get behind Satan Con his back) and
be carried away a victim. instead of
being a victor as in the present case.
While he was thus passing the time In
somewhat irrelevant language the door
opened, to his great relief, and the
welcomed his friend with, Here's the
gentleman himself" which caused the
congregation to litter, much to the
surprise of Rev. Donald Mcdonald.
"rThe Laird of Cockpen"-The air of
this song is believed to belong to the
reign of Charles H., and 1.-THE Laird
of Cockpen" is said to have been the
attached friend of his sover-
eign. After the battle of Worcester
the laird accompanied this monarch to
Holland, and, forming one of the little
court at The Hague, amused his royal
master by his humor, and especially by
his skill in Scottish music. In playing
the tune "Brose and Butter" he par
| ticularly excelled. At the restoration
| Coclxpen found that his estate had
been confiscated, and, notwithstanding
his petitions to the King for the re-
! storation of his inheritance he receiv-
| ed no response. He was also denied
an audience of His Majesty. To accom-
plish his design of obtaining an au-
dience with the King he formed an &C
quaintance with the organist of the
| Chapel Royal, and obtained permission
to officiate as his substitute when the
King came to the service. He did so,
| and played the usual tunes, till, at the
dismissal, he struck up the Kings old
favorite, "Brose and Butter" His
artifice succeeded. The King proceeded
to the organ gallery, where he found
! Cockpen, whom he saluted Familiarity,
| declaring that he had almost made him
dance 81 could dance too" said Cock
! pen, ''if 1 had my lands again" 'Brose
| and Butter was successful, and Cock
pen was restored to his possessions.
James was always under the i'm
preston that he was born humorist,
and his friends never succeeded in
convincing him to the contrary. But he
has given up trying to be funny now;
he says his humor was the means OF
losing a girl with a lot of money, and
he has never got over the blow. He
explains it this way: He was counting
a brokers' daughter. One day he called
upon her, and she happened to be at
| home; he considered himself fortunate.
/ as she had been out every time he had
called for a week, and he determined
to make the best of his opportunity
and pop the question. He found her in
a room busily engaged with small bum
dies of dried grasses which she had
collected. What a quantity of dried
! grass you have collected, Miss
| Ritchie," he said. Then his humor burst
forth Mice room for donkey to get
! into''-''Make yourself at home, Mr..
! James, she said, sweetly, before he
| could finish the joke. He went home,
and all the humor was crushed out Of
| him forever.