The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-12-27
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Madge-Another of those swindling
beggars. He said he was blind, and
asked for "a penny. beautiful lady,
Roosevelt, l. daresay he was blind.
Mrs. Jones-Charles has an uncon-
querable spirit. Mrs. Smith-Indeed?
Mrs. Jones-Yes; ne was two hours ur1-
locking the front door early this morn
ing.
10 Begin at Once. Mamma-Never
put off until tomorrow what you can
10 to-day. Johnnie-Wcll, then, I'll eat
the rest Of the pie now.-Baltimore
World.
Colonel Braggg-I've fought and bled
| TOR my country, Sir; I've" Alexan-
der Smart-Yes. but did you ever help
your wife hang pictures ?-Ohio State
Journal.
Mrs. Goldtsein-Ikey, Likely! Felix
has svallered penny. Mr.. .Goldstein--
| Vot great poy. Alretty he wants to
shtart in peezness as penny-in-der-
slot machine.
Miss Holler says she thinks she will
| have her voice tried" "Well, If she
does, the verdict will be Guilty OF
murder in the first degree "-Philadel~
phia Bulletin.
But surely" urged Barlow, seeing
is believing" Not necessarily" re-
sponded DObson; 'for instance, l see
you every day, but as to believing You
-"-Stray Stories.
| Blibson-How was Jones yesterday?
| Glibson--He seemed to be laboring un-
der strange delusion. Blibson-1n-
deed! | thought he was playing golf.
Glibson-So did Jones?-Town Topics.
| ANY word from my poor husband in
! the other world?" asked the widow Of
| the medium. Nothing more" replied
the medium. than a request for some
! ice and palmetto fan."-Atlanta Con-
stitution
Schoolmaster-New tell me, what
were the thoughts that passed through
Sir Isaac Newton's mind when the ap-
pie fell on his head? Hopeful Pupil
Expects he was awful glad it warn't
a brick.-Tit-Bits.
Men of genius seldom make any
money" remarked the blatttudinous
person. Really" answered the very
modern man. las If there were any
showing you are genius except max
ing Observation-Disclosures Star. ,--,.
Sizing Him Up. Shopman-What
style of hat do you wish, sir? Cholly-
All! am not particular about the style;
something to suit my head. don't ye
know. Shopman-Step this way and
look at our soft felts.-Tit-Bits.
Miss Touriste-You have some strong
and rugged types Of manhood out in
this western country. Stage Driver
Yaas, miss, we hev men out here tibet
don't think it's nuthin' t. hold up a
railroad train.-Ohio State Journal
Mr.. Flushing (hospitably)-So you
have joined our club. Mr.. Elmhurst
(wearily)-Yes. My wife has got the
house so full of 'cosey corners" there
isn't amy place where l can sit down
and be comfortable brooklyn Eagle.
The duke" said the European gen.
tlemaD. belongs to one Of the most
eminent and influential families Of our
time" '+Indeed!" responded the Amer
lean millionaire, with interest; who is
his ,father-ir-raw?" -Washington Star.
He-1 know I'm late, but l couldn't
help it. You see, was detained cou-
pie of hours by an old friend who had
just got back to town after long an
sence. had to tell him all knew.
She (snappishly)-I don't see why that
should have kept you 50 long.
Hostess-Are you musician, Mr..
Whooper? Whooper, who IS dying to
give an exhibition of his powers-Well
-er-yes, l think l can lay claim to
some knowledge of music. Hostess
Pm delighted to hear it. My daughter
is going to play, and l should be so
glad if you would turn the music for
her.
Partick-Et's POOR advice we've been
givin' me. Didn't ye say tn best tonne
| to ask mon favor was after dinner?
Bifkins-l certainly did. "Well, OF wint
to ould Buffers wild tn schmallest
koind av a request, and he refused. 1t
was after dinner, too" Are you sure
he had had his linner?": Faith it's
little OF know about ould Buffers in
gins and outeomin's; but Ord had
| mine"-N. Y. Weekly.
Kallying Rapidly: Surgeon (after the
operattone1 am glad to be able to as
sure you. Mrs. Tyte Phist. that the
danger is now over and your husband
will recover. We have successfully re-
moved the appendix vermiformis, and
it is Of such unique formation that l
shall preserve it for Use in my medical
lectures. Mr.. Tyte Phist Opening his
eyes)-Iou'll allow me something for
it, suppose. doctor?-Chicago Tribune.
children" said the teacher, while
instructing the class in composition,
''you should not attempt any fights Of
fancy, but simply be yourselves, and
write what is in you. Do not initiate ;.
any other persons writing or draw
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