The times., 1901-03-10
The Handwriting Expert

! Thank goodness! That's all right, then.
III wire Harvey something that Will
bring him down tomorrow morning; and
now, do cheer up and make the best of IL. "
After a night OF suspense, was waiting
/ in the little japanese room to see Harvey.
I heard his voice. He had arrived / was
horribly nervous. He came IN. shut the
door. and stood in front OF me
1 said, Dearest Harvey. how could you
be so absurd" and / held out both my
! hands Harvey put his hands behind his
back as though / were a child and he had
a present for me. and / was 10 guess what
it was So 1 did the same. though it
seemed a silly game. Then he said:
Now. Beatrice it's useless trying to
humbug me. l insist on plain answer To
a plain question.
He then produced the letter from wy
vern l had left on the table and asked
me to read it.
Anything so entirely uuinteuigibIe L
never saw.
What's this. Harvey. about Don't
laugh at me as humorous swiue'2''
Rubbish. It's Don't laugh az me as
an amorous swain
1 was sure of my version. but stumbled
on You know little, so far. OF these
liver pills
IL overs ills " shouted Harvey. ..It's
no use wasting time on this. 1 have cop
led out the essential part-the part that
opened my eyes" and he gave me paper
in his own clear handwriting. This is
what / read:
You are (the? soul Of my existence.
You dear woman. and our love is our life
He is frivolous and hateful. ami We may
(word undecipherable) tell the fool to go
hang.
/ was appalled, at first Could Nvyvern
have gone of his head. and really written
this nonsense?
Did you really find this in the letter.
Yes 1 tell You that, taking il with the
rest, understood Ii. / thought at first
it was code, or something, but l soon
saw II was plain English.
Plain English, But it doesn't make
sense-and Wyvern doesn't make love.
Oh. believe met
SiIencei II you like. Wen go through
/ the letter together. 1 wish TO be just"
What on earth could "He Is fr--olOus
and hateful mean? Why should Harvey
suppose it 20 refer to him? We went
through IL and fought the letter word by
word. till my brain whirled One sentence
l read, Il bought a shutter on the Alps
which Harvey perversely declared was Il
sought shelter i'm your arms" It was
endless and maddening. until had a
bright idea. Ask Wyverni Harvey scOrn-
ed IL. saying the idiotic fool would be sure
to have some - clever. rotten explana-
tion. and 50 We went on. he reDrOaching
suddenly said:
Listen, Harvey, I am certain Wyvern
would not write to me in that strain. but
/ ii make this suggestion. Go to an expert
in handwriting, and I'll abide by his de-
cisiOn."
And Harvey agreed seeming struck with
the idea After grumbling a little more.
and few words with Charlie and Violet
he consented to go back to town and see
an expert. He refused TO stay TO lunch
con; and went by the 12:i5 Professionally
cold and civil in manner
In the afternoon our troubles were over.
The following telegram arrived:
Everything all right. Too sorry for
words. Experts explanation follows by
post Win come and fetch you tomorrow
morning. Love. HARVEY
And by the evening post 1 received the
experts version of the important SEN
tences- II ran thus.
1 am quick at making verses and have
finished the play in an hour. IL IS possible
and probable that I shall bring IL out as
soon as can get man 10 go shares
suppose, Harvey wrote. that dear
old Nyyern has written a play. and
hasu enough money 10 get it produced
himself. II he can't find capitalist, I'm
ling.
The next day we went back happy.
though 1 still had an uneasy belief that
Nyvern must have been writing to me
about some woman-and I was quite Ger
tain he would as soon write play in an
quick at making verses" We were talk
ing IL over when Nyyern came in. and [
Slgnaleu u him TO say nothing wheE Har-
Vey discussed IL with him.
Harvey put down Wyverns smiling
silence, awkward looks. and apparent en-
tire ignorance OF the subject title or
style of his play. 10 shyneSs. and went
out, leaving US together. 10 show his re-
neWed confidence.
Then Wyvern read me his own. real
original and genuine version OF the let
ter. The fatal sentences ran as follows
Il am sick OF dancing attendance ou
that woman, and can bear IL no more
She is frivolous and heartiess. and / shall
90 % Norway TO ish as soon as 1 can get
d pal TO go too"
Since this happened. the only result Of
any Importance is that Wyvern has
learned typewriting. Certainly, the ex-
pert did get one or two Of the unimpOr-
tdnt words right which was rather clev-
or of him.
Here are the three versions:
Husband > Version: You are (the) soul
our love is our life. He is frivolous and
hateful. and We may (wOrd undecipher-
able) tell the fool to go hang"
Expert version: Il III quick at making
verses. and have finished the play in an
hour. IL is possible and probable that [
ShaH bring II out as soon as l can get
d man 10 go shares
Genuine Version I'm sick of dancing
attendance on that woman. and can bear
II no more. She is frivolous and heart
less. and l shall go to Norway to fish
as soon as | can get a pal to ga too.
And. wasn't it extraordinary? l asked
Harvey the name Of the expert. and it's
HendersOn-A- H, you know,
~ Slrs- Hopkinson was right after all