The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-03-18
COUNTRY POSTMASTERS.
THE HUM0RS OF THE RURAL SER
 TICE.
The Mountain Ofice Run on Strict
 Business Principles.

DusRhess ETihChpieS.
 Few people know just exactly where
 a fourth class postmaster gets his pay.
 His patrons, more often than not, know
 the least about the matter, and not
 many others know that, humble as the
 fourth-class office Is. it serves the great
 est number of people in the United
 States. There are over seventy thou
 sand of these offices, while there are
 just forty five hundred of the third,
 second and first class, or salaried of-
 fees. The lowest salary paid these is
 one thousand dollars, and the highest
 salary is eight thousand dollars year.
 The fourth class officers must rustic for
 their own pay. Sometimes that is as
 low as one dollar a month, and some
 times as high as sixty dollars month: that is, some offices send out just that
 amount of cancelled letters each month
 but the fourth-class postmaster is not
 allowed to keep the sixty dollars a
 month; not at all He keeps just six
 teen and one-third dollars as his own
 clear cash, and every dollar over that
 he divides up with Uncle Sam, giving
 him forty out of every one hundred
 cents, until his office gets to the inlpor-
 tance of cancelling over thirty-three
 dollars a month, then he must hand
 over sixty cents out of the dollar in- stead of forty. Out of what is left he
 pays his office rent, his light and fuel
 bills and his clerk hire when sick or ab- sent. The department furnishes noth-
 ing; not even the box, except what
 stamps, postal cards and other stamped paper he needs.
 Very few fourth-c offices cancel stamps to either the great or small amount I have named. The majority of them range from eight to twenty dol lars a month. When an office averages about ten dollars month, then it be- comes money order office and while it's revenue toward the postmaster's pay is not perceptibly increased by this ad- dition, his bond and responsibility are. Some years ago a fourth class postmas- ter was allowed a percentage on all stamps he sold above the cancellation, but 1t was found that he hustled around and offered inducements and a share of the proceeds to those who would buy many stamps from him, and the depart ment shut down on this. Now, if he sells two dollars worth of stamps day, but only cancels on letters ten cents worth, ten cents is all he gets for that days work. The remainder of the two dollars at the end of the quarter goes to the department.
 The fourth-class postmaster is brought in closer relationship with his patrons than the postmaster of a sala- ried offlce and trials and tribulations are about the extent of his pay for this. | He is expected to be ready for social chat with them; to answer all ques- tions; to. write many letters for those who cannot write or have left spectacles | at home; to advise them as to the best | papers or magazines for which to sub | scribe, and so on and so on. Besides this, he is to blame for all the mail lost | or delayed; there are always one or l more women who accuse him of open ing their letters; there is the pompous citizen, who is very certain that he is careless with his particular mail, and the old fellow whose family take just 3ne paper, and that monthly, but ev- [, ary day the old fellow would ask if that 'dod-rotted book of Hs'n had come yet ?" and though it never missed show ng up at the appointed time, and he ook home every copy Of it. he would declare that it was the beatenest thing Q miss he ever seen, and he'd be blamed if he'd ever take 1t again
 Tn the majority of these offices strict less is the rule. The fourth-class post master is called to task for neglect of he slightest duty, the same as though he government was paying him a good alary for his work. But in very small ,ffices have heard of postmasters who lave it all their own way. The office is % small for a new postmaster to be asily found if the old one is turned out, he patrons will not allow it to be dis continued, and so the postal authorities urn away nonplussed, and leave him 0 his own devices. I heard of one post master of this kind who shut up his of- Ice to attend anything he felt was yorth while attending. He would go if dozen miles to show, prize ght or the county fair, and sometimes tay two or three days, and there was o getting in his office either to get mail r deposit letters until he came back. AIOlLcI pUStuldSttI ol tlIS hiIiu, HdNilS | lst loaned friend all the postal funds, to some two or three dollars, n hour after saw a postoffice inspector laking his way leisurely toward the of- ce. Knowing from past experience , hat the inspector would make just as ig kick about that three dollars as he '. vould about a thousand dollars being :. ut of pocket in the office, the postmas- /. 1T did some quick thinking. In jiffy he had barred the door and = In a red bandanna handkerchief out ;. 8 side window When the inspector . demanded that the door be / pened the postmaster asked him if he 7 dn't know what a red flag meant and
 he didn't want to know he'd better ot stop too long to investigate. By i, lis time the little burgh was in a panic f yer this hint of smallpox, and without f aiting to add anything to the panic f e inspector immediately made himself h arce in that region. f, Another case was where, time and e yain, the department had been made i, ware of gross irregularities in the h engagement of one office away in the h lids somewhere. At last an inspector " as ordered out to look up the matter. tl At the wayside station nearest this e stoff1ce the inspector learned that it e, as kept by an old mountaineer named ti lunders, who owned everything in h yht arnrnd if and oO this acco11Dt ! fe