The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-01-06

chickens, the veteran ofHcehOlder called
her daughter and said:
My child, Ills meet that I should tell
you how to keep your Office till death
or marriage do you part from it. OBJ
serve yOn four men approaching? They
viii get no mail, but see you to it that
they get the sympathetic feminine ap-
probation so precious to the manly
heart First comes Jehonidab Joram,
sour and cranky, called Jolly JOram be
cause he was never known to smile.
Through the imperceptible hypnotiza-
ton of gentle hints give him 10 I'M
derstand that you know he bears with
in his breast the hidden sorrow of be
ing misunderstood that behind his
cross grained, old hennish manner lie
the sweetest temper and the tenderest
heart compatible with a manly soul So
shall you win his support for aye.
observe Professor Braddeus Borch-
gevinck, a bore with a mania for lee
turing and reading poetry to his ac-
QUaintances-a bore so frightful that
when he rises to address the multitude
men fee as from death on a pale horse.
Say to him we shall be glad to have
him come tonight and read to US in his
most fiery, dramatic manner his essay
on the true difference between the eth
nOlogy and the ethOlogy of the Igdul-
frazzians and the Lugalzaggisian So
shall Professor Braddeus Borchgevinck
be yours till death.
Behold next the third voting citi-
zen, Deacon Grumpy Gridley. You can
not praise him Tor his good looks, good
manners, good clothes or literary gen
ius. He has none of these, and he
knows it. He is obstinate beyond de-
scription and his pride in himself is
that he cannot be Hattered Ask him,
my daughter, what he thinks of the
Fire Eating insurance stock as an in
vestment for the small savings Of lone
women who have not a mans strong
arm or brain to depend upon either for
support or advice. Say to him you
know his experience as well as his IN
erring natural shrewdness and his sur
passing power of reasoning VIII enable
him to give us precisely the counsel we
need. Say that in the next nominating
convention you trust the Squabbletovn
citizen who is a natural leader Of men
will get just recognition. He wants to
go to the state senate worse than he
wants to 90 to paradise, and that win
fetch him. He win happily himself all
the way home. and some of these fe-
icitous thought waves VIII be sure to
vibrate as far as this postofIice and you.
Last Of all, in the gathering gloam-
ing in the vista beyond the grocery
advances one more voter-plain VIII
liam cones. Yet not alone is he. His
wife is beside him. as ever. He Is not
beautiful az wise or magnetic. yet his
wife deems MIN all three, therefore is
she wildly Jealous and never allows him
10 leave her. He has not the qualities
of @ great political leader. neither COM
mercial foresight nor hiudsight, and ne.
would not care q straw for them IT he
had One thing in life ne does care for.
-eating-and Mrs Jones intimate lady
friends aver her TO BE- the poorest cook
and the LATEST woman in S-uabble-
town dy child bee up and do.r-. IN
vite him and Airs. Jones To dinner an
Christmas. Spare neither pains moi eE-
pense % please Jones. SEE 30 il that
the Cre uherry sauce IS without -kinG
% rake the Jones palate Watch that
the turkey BE- brown and tender hare
q dash az costly brandy. nos too faint.
ga this voters after dinner -c-ee So
shah you Erapple The Jones influence 20
your sous with hooks ~ steel
"1Iy daughter every man alive can
Re battered bv woman. Lay vou it cn
thics- Chorffa sveetly. Praise each
one not 81 01ch for rhe good qualities
he ra-5f=s-s as for those DE u0s- de-
s.res IL E-re uoes sssd o. So srs v0u
hold q p0s,oelce -oug ID tha lana the IA
theirs have given you. alay you - hap-