Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-12-26
The Cut Up Who Came Very
Near Losing HIS Ticket Bat Who
Turned Defeat Into Victory
BY GEO. ABE.
Copyrighted, 1901, BY Robert Howard Russell.

looked at the Toilet Set and counted
their Money and passed out. He loved
a Girl named Luellas but he had
Frugal Mind. It seemed to him that 1t
would be more Sensible to save his
Money and make First Payment on
a Home. Besides, the Poultry Business
had been little Slack and he couldn't
see himself giving up $3.50 for a dosh-
burned Gimcrack that was no Account
except to look at. So he gave up 60
Cents for an Autograph Album and let
1t go at that. He would have gone
ahead and bought something for Doll
lar, only Amos thought he had a
Cinch. His only Rival for the Hand Of
Luella was Tallmadge N. Crockett,
proprietor of the Livery and Feed Sta
BILE. Amos was so much more Comic
and Conversational than TaIlmadge
and had such a Taking Way that he
wasn't for a Minute afraid of being
Cut Out by Tallmadge.
Being the recognized Village Wag.
Amos was called upon TO impersonate
Santa Claus at the Christmas Tree
Entertainment. Amos was born
Romp, and the Congregation was sure
of many a Hearty Laugh when he
came in as Santa and began to cut
Didoes.
Amos borrowed a Buffalo Robe. a
Strand of Bells and a Fur Cap. He
rugged up a set of Cotton Whiskers
and prepared to be even Funnier than
usual.
On Christmas Eve the Church put
them in the Aisles, so great was the
Interest in the Tree. The Superintend-
ent of the Sunday school looking un-
usually pale and 7scrubbed-up. and
smelling of Bay Rum, stood up in
front of the Tree and made an Address
that was Facetious, from his Point OF
View. The Choir sang one of its hard
est Anthems and after two or three
other Stunts. Amos, the Merry An
drew, came in as Santa Claus and did
some of his best Comedy Acting. he
galloped up and down the Aisles and
scared several Children in Arms into
Commissions. Then he went up to the
Tree to assist the droll Superintendent
in distributing Presents. AS a Team
they were expected to spring great
many timely Quips. right on the Spur
of the Moment.
While standing by the Tree, waiting
for the Infant Glass to. conclude a
Carol. Amos saw on a Table the mag
nificent Toilet Set. with the $3.50 Mark
still on it. He drew nearer to read the
attached Card and almost tainted with
Horror when he saw the Name OF Luz
ella CROCKETT. Inc SuOCk Was ~ SASdb
that everything Swan before his Gaze.
the same as in a Natatorium- He
could not see anything except his own
Finish. When Luella came to compare
the superb Toilet Set and the 6O-cent
Autograph Album. he knew that he
would not be -Two-Seven. He was
inspired to a Desperate Action. He
happened to remember that Celluloid
contains Gun Cotton and Camphor and
other high Explosives. The Infant
Glass stood between him and the Con-
gfegation. Stealthily he plucked q
lighted Candle from the Tree and
dropped IL on the Toilet Set. Then he
leaped over the Rail. There was a
terrific Report, a fash of Fire. an odor
of Camphor and the Air was full OF In
FAINT Class. A Panic ensued. Throw
ing off his Disguise Of white Cotton
Whiskers, Amos gathered Luella in
his Arms and carried her to Place
OF Safety. When Quiet was restored
there was nothing left of the Toilet
Set except the Clasp and. the letters
spelling Merry XMAS" asa
MORAL: True Love will prevail
against the Vulgar Bank Roll, even at
GEORGE ABE.