The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-03-27

| it insists that the reviewers were always
| silver mounted, and that the horseback
| feat was almost necessity, because PEG
pie didn't have the time to dismount and
hitch THE town. it adds. has always
played poker, but it does 1t on carpeted
floors, with genuine ivory chips, while
the high art pictures on the walls are
sufficiently draped so as not to offend the
eye of the stranger. The town was
never a four f1usher. Another commend
able characteristic of the place is that it
is clean. 1t never neglects to regularly
wash and scrub itself and change its
lingerie or it's linen. While it seeks first
the kingdom of heaven, it gets itself
ready to be successful seeker by Wig
orous application Of soap and water.
Drummers say the town buys more high
priced soap than any other place in the
state. kansas City Journal.
-:O:-
Jack-'I admit don't understand you.
You women are all puzzles"
,Jill-"Whicch proves that you men are
all stubborn"
Jack" Indeed?''
Jill-Yes, you simply won't give us up"
Philadelphia Press.
| The little daughter of well-knoWn
actor was once helping her parents to en-
| terrain some visitors, and she succeeded
| in the usual unexpected way Of childhood.
! The talk was running on theatrical mat
| tiers, when one Of the visitors, lady not
| unknown to foOtlight fame, turned to the
! little girl and said
well, Virgie, [ suppose you expect to
be a great actress, too, when you grow
| up?'
"Oh, no." promptly replied the dear
child, mamma intends me to marry"'
Feminine Feeling-Miss Gush-'Isn't
Mr.. Freshleigh a dear! He told me yes
terday that he loves me!' Miss Thrust
-"I'm not surprised; he wouldn't wound
any ones feelings for the world by tell
| ing them the truth.''-Ohio State Jour
nal.
At the banquet Of the Princeton Alum
nj association the other night one of the
| speakers told the following story con-
| corning an old clergyman of his ac-
quaintance, at which no one laughed
with more heartiness than the two rep
resentatives of the clergy present-Rev.
DR.. Francis Patton and Rev. j. Wynne
Jones:
This elderly clergyman Of whom l
am going to tell you" said the speaker,
had as friend much younger divine.
who made practice of writing out his
| sermons days before he delivered them
One day the elderly minister said to him:
should never write your sermon before
preaching it. Don't you know that the
whole time you are writing the devil is
looking at every word you put ON the
paper? As soon as you are through he
makes the rounds Of your congregation.
and, making use Of his knowledge of
| what you are going to say on Sunday
counteracts the effect
Now, when | get up in the pulpit the
devil himself can't tell what I'm going
to say Baltimore Sun.
An Inference.-The Professor-"Yes a
| caterpillar is the most voracious living
| thing. In month it will eat about 600
times its own weight" Deep Mrs. En-
not-'Whose boy did you say he was ?''-
Harper's Bazaar.
Farmer Rich-'I see our boy Joe is
glttln' to be quite speaker, but b'gosh,
think they'd orter give him somethin'
better'n a box to speak from"
Mrs. Rich-"Somethin' in the paper
about him, is thereT'
Farmer Rich-"Yaas. 1t seq: Joe
the box for harvard this year. "-Phila-
delphia Press.
She was beloved by Chollys man.
This maid, whose name was Sally.
My fioWer,' he called her, pure and
A regular lily" She was quite
The lily of the valet.
Philadelphia Press.
''Will you please examine this dia-
| mOnd," said a man who had stepped into
| a jewelers. shop, as reported by House
hold Words, 'and tell me what you think
Of it? Ii it is good stone | think will
buy it,
The jeweler took the gem. which was
unset, and looked at it critically for a mo-
ment. Then, in confidential tones, he
said:
''Well, to tell you the truth, that isn't
a very good stone. 1t hasn't much fire;
it is badly cut, and there is something
here very much like a flaw" Then he
held the diamond under a microscope and
examined it carefully, finally observing,
NO, it isn't exactly flaw, but l shouldn't
call it a perfect stone. Now, if you want
something really fine, I have here
Excuse me-" the other man interrupt
ed. II don't think I'll buy a diamond to-
day. This is a diamond that one of your
assistants let me take on Saturday on
approval. I deposited $40 on it, Please
let me have my money, and we will de-
clare the deal off,
dogs is the most expensive?'
Mr.. Gaswell-"Can't say as TO that,
but should think that the Skye terriers
come highest" Pittsburg Chronicle-Tel-
egraph.
'Were you ever taken for a minister?''
asked the soubrette
No. said the leading man with the
spiritual face, 'but I've been treated like
one"
"Eh?"
81 have sometimes been compelled to
wait six or seven months for my salary"
Indianapolis Press.
-:O:--
A Campbellite evangelist is in Pratt,
Kas., and the local papers describe him
as 'stemwinder," and declare she
strikes right from the shoulder and gives
it to the devil both fore and aft"
TO-
II