The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-01-06

Avenue so often they don't care ga.
wear. This poor Man despise5 hln-
whenever he was in Ministerial logs. a.
always was feeling for the Side Pockets
| When he caught a Glimpse OF himself in
the Mirror, he realized that he was a Ring
er for the Neat Artist who comes out n
the Variety Show TO play on the Sleigh
Bells and the Tin Cans.
But 1t was up TO him to please his Wife.
so he got into his Long Suit and wrestled
with the White Ascot, and gummed his
hair down and rubbed a little Scent on
himself so as to be as Offensive as possible.
and went down to Mingle. He gave every
one the high-up Handshake. and said he
was Awfully Glad to see her. and Beamed
and Nodded and carried on as Unnatural
as possible. 1t was a Flying Start and
a good Getaway. His Wife stood back.
her eyes popping with Pleased Surprise,
for a Woman always likes to Exhibit her
Husband if he has been trained for the
Show Ring.
This Husband was set on making a full
Afternoon of 1t. after going 10 all the
Trouble Of changing Clothes and having
his Hair cut. He was there to help En-
terrain the Guests If IL was in him.. So
he slowly circulated about the Room, look
ing for the Right One who would probably
meet him Half Way. When he spotted the
Young Widow with the Coaxing Dimples
and the haunting smile. he said to himself
that he could do no better, for she was
the Town Talk. He knew that IL was
| Great to sit i'm and hold a conversational
Daily with one having the Beauty insep-
arabic from Youth, and at the same time a
Prudent Audacity resulting from one Inning
of Matrimony. So he put himself alongside
of her and told her she was All Right, and
began to make Spicy Observations. He
had heard that one is permitted a certain
Latitude with Widows. and he went in for
the whole $50 Degrees. He was intent on
making il Pleasant for his Wife's Guests.
and he used his Best Judgment. Instead
of telling the Widow that the Weather
had been very Changeable of late, he whis-
pered to her that every Single Man in Town
was ready TO Marry her at the Drop of the
Hat. She hit him Twice with her Fan
and began to think he was not such a
Dummy after all.
He said If only he was Foot-Loose prob
ably he would have a little Proposition
to make to her. Then he started in TO
tell her how Crazy she had all the Fellows
he Knew. She became Flushed and said IL
was Terrible to tell her such Things and
to please go ahead.
1t was a Noble Effort at Entertaining.
and when she began TO make the Goo-Goo
Eyes at him he did not seem TO mind the
Work. They were quite Wrapped Up In
each other, with the Heads about three
quarters of an inch apart, so they did not
realize that all the Women in the Room
were accommodating Material for a rich.
succulent Piece Of Gossip.
AS for the Charming Hostess, who was
compelled to witness the Brazen Per-
formance for twenty minutes. she was so
Red-Headed that she was splashing Tea
| and upsetting Lady Fingers all over the
Best Table Cover. When Hubby cooed
something right into the tiny Ear OF the
Flirtatious Widow and she gave him a
saucy overland Slap on the Elbow, the
Lady of the House let out a quick Gasp.
and it ooked for a Moment as If she would
Keel. When anything like that happens
at a Polite Gathering, no one Notices it
until all get Outside and compare Notes.
and then every one has a Little Something
to say about ii.
The Hostess had the Feminine Instinct.
and she knew that the scandalous Going
On between her Husband and the shame
] Tess Widow had laid the Foundation for
more or less spiteful Guess-Work. She was
Mad enough TO Scratch and Pull Hair. Not
that she was Jealous. Only a little Pro-
voked, that was all.
After all of them had gone and her
Handkerchief was out and he was being
Raked over the Goals. he waved his Arms
in Despair.
Didn't you want me to Report here and
be Agreeable?" he demanded. II thought
I was Fine and Daisy. The Widow says
she never saw me give a Flash of my True
Form before to-day. I came here 10 put
in my Best Licks at Entertaining. L think
1 did 1t, on the level. Tor the Widow says |
am a Bad Boy, and she has promised me
her Picture in a Locket."
Whereupon his Wife Shrieked and
bounced over into an Armchair, complete.
ly Out.
Moral-Only One in a Thousand ever
strikes the Happy Medium.