Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-01-01

Bixby-It's tie little things chat wor-
~ US. Mrs Hxoy-Is your conscience
troubling you again Flown Topics
Kitty-she isn't pretty, but she
knows great deal Tom-Does she
know she isn't pretty New York
World.
'Dobley has at last painted a picture
that viii keep the wolf from the door,"
THAT so? Painted it on the door, did
he3"-Town Topics.
"A thoroughbred gentleman puts on
his clothes and then folgets them"
That's what try to do: but nv tailor
won't let me.'-Chieago Record.
Client-Has a man a legal right to
open his wife's lettersg Attorney
Certainly you have the right-but will
she allows it?-Unsere Geselschaft.
i've got to stop debating letters for
awhile now" 'WhyY' Our type
writer girl has begun to crochet herself
pink fascinator. Chicago Record
Little Willie Pa, what's a financier?
Pa--A financier, my son. is man who
is capable of inducing other men to pile
up fortune ie3 h.m. -Chicago News.
What profession does your friend
follow" That of the light-fingered
gentry" You don't mean it," Yes;
he's a detective. "-Catholic Standard
and Times.
Waiter-Haven't you forgotten some
thing, sir? Guest-By Georgel So 1
have. forgot to post that letter my
wife gave me this morning -New York
Evening Journal.
The Exception when a thing ia
ended, it's ended" said |. .and that's
all there is to it," My friend smiled
You forget" said he. tine revolution
IN the Philippines Bazaar.
Know anything about golfY' Not
much WhyY" whats bunker, do
you know?" 81 suppose it's one of
those cranks that simply live and sleep
on the links. Philadelphia Press.
Jackson-No. l never take the news
paper home. I've got family of grown
up daughters, you know. Friend-Pa-
pers too full of crime? Jackson No;
too full of bargain sales. -Tit-Bits
Mrs Youngwife-I have at last dis
covered how to receive guests properly.
Mr.. Youngwife-? ? /? +? Mrs. Young
wife-I have everything ready and
then look awfully surprised to see
them.-Life.
He-Do you understand the language
of flowers, dear? She-Oh. yes, little.
do you know what those dozen roses
sent you last night mean, lover"
why, yes; about 1915, dear. "--Yon-
kers Statesman.
THAT newly rich Billson earyes beau
tifully.' Yes, he learned how to do
that when they lived in a Harlem tiat
and he had to make one chicken go
round with nine in the family. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
Too Late: Suffering Employer writ
Ing a letter) hand me BIB
b-bl-bl-bl- Office Boy-A blotter,
sir do you wish? Suffering Employer
Never mind n-n-n-now; the ink has
d-d-d-dried.-Bazar
Mrs. Goodsoul--I think it's a perfect
shame that the early settlers killed Off
the Indians the way they did, Miss De
Pretty-Indeed it Isl; just think what
lovely furs they used to sell fora few
glass beads.--New York Weekly.
Myer-Who is the man across the
way with the gold medal on his coat?
Gyer-Oh, that's Downing, He holds
the automobile record. Myer- Automo-
bile record? Gyer-Yes; ran over thir-
teen people in one afternoon-Bo Boston
Journal.
Encouraging; Mr.. Prancer-l'm sorry
I'm such an awkward dancer. Miss
Perkins. Miss Perkins-Oh, you're
doing fairly well, Mr.. Prancer. I've
seen you jerk around lots worse than
this with other girls. Indianapolis
Journal.
Eyes, it's true" boosted Colonel
Bragg, ave been in innumerable en-
gagements, and yet never lost my
head" "And I've been in hundreds
of Them" replied the Summer Girl
"and never lost my heart "-Philadel-
phia Press.
Family Pride: Miles-My grandfather
celebrated the one hundredth anniver-
sary of his birth one day last week.
Glles-Thats nothing. If my great
grandfather were alive to-day he would
be one hundred aad dfty-two years old.
Chicago News.
Professor Ito student OF SURGERY
Please inform the class the names Of
bones forming the skull. Student-Ak
-er-I do not at the present time re-
member but know that have them
all in my head lUproar In class.)-In-
dianapolis Journal.
The Professors Wife The professor
is in the laboratory conducting some
chemical experiments. The professor
expects to go down to posterity---
Q9rom the laboratory: Br-r-r-r. BangD
The VISITOR hope the professor
hasn't gone.-Harlem Life.
A Willing, Worker: ''Wao will haul
down the 1ag?" exclaimed Mr.. Meek
toms wife, who was rehearsing
speech which she was to deliver before
the club this evening. Now Henriet
tai exclaimed Mr.. Meekton, II thought
had attended to everything. | bolted
the basement door, and put the cat out,
and covered the fire in the stove with
ashes; but, to tell you the truth. didn't
know we had the dag out. III 90 right
up on the roof and attend to it at once"
Washington Star.
Ancient Deed in Philadelphia.
The first deed conveying property to