Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-06-13
EACH ONE WENT IN TO WIN.

I maka dis house swell; l maka swag-
ger. You putta dat down stairs woman
out. You putta dat up stairs woman
out. 1 no lika. You janitor man, you
waita on me. If l calla, you skata.
R-r-rememberv
"How can you skate if you don't baf
some ice to skate on7" asked the grocer
as he blinked his eyes In a solemn way.
II can't, Of course" replied the JAM
itor, land that just shows you how in
consistent women are. After her talk
1 took my asthma down to the base
ment to repair the dumb waiter and
kill off few cockroaches, and maybe
1t was an hour before anything hap
pened. Then the O'Sullivan offspring
got out their goat, the dago kids ran
out their push cart, and the pickanin-
nies trotted out two dogs ana pail of
whitewash. and after playing around
for q spell they an tried to 60 up stairs
at once. There was jam and fight,
Of course, and l thought McMurphy's
flats had been hit by the butt end of
cyclone" -. ~ 4 3f
What awful times, vhate timesw
gasped the grocer as he turned a toma-
to over In its box to conceal bruise.
when | got up stairs the goat. dogs,
cart, whitewash and young ones were
all mixed up In one heap and the three
women were tangled up In another.
1t wasn't my play to interfere. Even
If It had been my asthma would have
kept me out of it. Pm not taking any
chances Of sudden death on a salary
OF So per month and my rent throwed
In. Did you ever see three women in
a scrap, Mr.. Wasserman?"
''Neffer in my life, Mr.. Sprocket, und
pray heafen dot don't. 1t must be
more awful ash a steamboat explo-
sion"
''There isn't so many killed and
wounded, but 1t lasts longer, and there
is more fun In 1t. Say, now, but of all
the splitting and scratching and hair
pulling l ever read of In history that
took the cake. 1t was each one for
herself and ag'in the other two. and
each one went in to win. didn't time
the scrap, having left my watch down
in the storeroom to rest the wheels for
week or two. but should say 1t last
ed for ten minutes. Then they fell
apart by mutual consent, as II was, and
each made for her own room to get
The goods came on wheelbarrow, and
Mrs. O'Sullivan and Mrs. Divito was
parading up and down the halls and
waiting to get OF something mean.
| When an old cornhusk mattress was
heaved through the front door, follow
ed by the female head of the family
and four children Mrs. O'Sullivan lift
ed up her hands and her brogue aud
called out.
"'By me soul, but we've got nay.
CUR among us! Did the O'Shanes ever
dream OF the likes when they figgered
out that I had barrel of royal blood
in me veinsT
'Whata dat nigger wanta here I?
queried the dago as she swept up and
down the hall like an insulted queen.
"'We've got to protest! screamed
Mrs. O'Sullivan, banging on the wall
with her fist. Think of me man Tim
comm home tonight after hard days
work on the coal cart and findin nay,
gurs in the hall! Where's the janltoI
who called this an aristocratic tlati
Where's the man Teddy McMurphy
who told me Tim that liyin here wid
a dumb waiter in the house would ado
80 per cent 10 his pulp
"Of course the new family heard A
ALL" said the janitor, "and the woman
ceased throwing pots and pans and OLD
shoes into the hall for minute anC
walked up to the two ladies and said;
What's do racket yeref I'd hav'
10 to know dat my husband runs &
barber shop an crap tint an dat WEI
movin into dis fiat TO glib II tone. Dom
shoot of no mousetraps at me or III
set up conservatory OF music al
rhump de hull gang out of de fiatr"
"Und 1t vhas awful timesf" queriet
the grocer as the janitor paused TO
breath and helped himself to a berr.
from box.
ut was redhot for a send of. bu
they haven't got started yet. You wal
q few days and youll see things sizzle
A darky who owns barber shop ant
crap Joint feels himself away up Il
@, you know, and he isn't going to TAX
sass Off of anybody. He's got the tol
floor, and by tomorrow his kids viii b
rolling the wash boiler down stairs an,
the wife will be emptying tubs OF wa
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