Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-11-26

Mr.. DO0LEY AS SHERLOCK HOLMES
Copyrighted 1901 Howard
Copyrighted 1901 BY Robert Howard Russell.

Dorsey an Dugan are hayin' trou-
ble," said Mr.. Hennessy.
what about?" asked Mr.. Dooley.
Dorsey" said Mr.. Hennessy, says
Duban stole his dog. They had par
ty at Dorseys an Dorsey heerd noise
in tn back yard an wint out an see
Dugan maxim off with his bull tarry-
err"
"Ye say he see him do it?"
'sYis, he see him do it."
"Well,' said Mr.. Dooley, "twud
battle tn injinooty iv a Sherlock
Holmes"
Who's Sherlock Holiness"
Hes tn greatest defective that
liver was in story book. I've been
r-readin' about him an if | was Grim
inal, which wud be if had to wurruk
FIR a Twin, an Sherlock Holmes got
afther me, I'd go straight to tn sta
ton and give mesilf up. I'd lay tn
goods on TIL desk an say: Sergeant,
put me down in tn hard cage. Sher-
lock Holmes has jus see man go by
in cab with Newfoundland dog, an
he knows | TUX th spoons Ye see,
he amt TIL ordh'nry fly cop like Null
achy, that always runs in tn Schmidt
soy FIR iVry crime rayported firm steal
n ham to forgin' check in tn full
knowledge that some day he'll get him
f'r tn right thing. No sir; he's an in
janyous man that can put two an two
together an make eight iv thin. He
applies his brain to crime, dye mind,
an divvle tn crime, no matter how
cunnin' it is, will escape him. Well
suppose Hinnissy, that Pm Sherlock
Holmes. I'm settin here in me little
parlor wearin' dhressin' gown an
now an thin pokin' mesilf full iv NOR
pheen. Here we are. Ye come in.
Good mornin,' Watson.
Il amt Watson said Mr.. Hennessy.
I'm Hinnissy."
All" said Mr.. Dooley, 81 thought
I'd wiring it firm We. Perhaps ye'd
like to know how | guessed We had
come in. 'Tis very simple. Only a
matther iv observance. | heerd ye'er
step; l seen ye'er REFLECTION in tn
lookin' glass; We spoke to me. | put
these things together with me thrained
faculty FIR observation an deduction,
dye mind Says l to mesilf: This
must be Hinnissy' But, mind We. tn
chain iv circumstances it not com
plete. 1t might be some wan disguis-
ed as We. So says | to mesilf: i will
throw this newcomer, whoiver he is
off his guard, be calm him a sthrange
name Ye wudden't feel compliment.
ed, Hinnissy, if We knew who Watson
is. Watson knows even less than We
do. He don't know anything, an
anything he knows is wrong. He has
to look UP his name in tn parish ray
gisther befure he can speak to him
self. He's a great flind of Sherlock
Holmes an if Sherlock Holmes liver
loses him, he'll find him in tn nearest
asylum fir tn feeble minded. But
surprised ye'er secret out iv rye
Thrown off ye'er guard be me innocent
question, We popped out I'm Hinnissy
an in a flash l guessed who ye We're
duction, | can tell We that ye were
home las night in bed that ye'er on
yeer way to wurruk an that ye'er sal
airy is two dollars day. | know We
were at home las night because We
ARE always at home between iliven
an siven bar Pathrick's night, an
ye'er wife hasn't been in lookin' FIR ye
know ye'er on ye'er way to wurruk
because ! heerd ye'er dinner pail jim
gle as We stepped softly in. l know We
get two dollars day because we toll
me We get three an | deducted thirty
three an wan third per clint FIR poetic