davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
Another Matter.

City Magistrate OF course | don't
wish to stand in the way of my daugh.
ter's happiness. but know so little of
you. Mr.. Hawkins. What Is your vo-
cation?
Mr. Hawkins tairilyJ-Oh. | write-er
poetry. novels 49, err plays and that
sort of thing
City Magistrate-Indeed! Most inter
esting. And how do you liveg- Punch.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
Too Hard Night work For a Pupil.
A teacher in the Dallas county public
school received the following letter:

A teacher in the Dallas county public
school received the following letter:
Sir-Will you in the future give my son easier
some to do at nites7 This is what he's brought
hoam two or three mites back: "lf fore gallins Of
bere will fill thirty to pint bottles, how many
pints and halt bottles will nine gallins Of bere
fl?"
Well we tried and could make nothin Of it at
all, and my boy cried and laughed and sed he
didn't dare to go bak in the mornin without
dom it, So ! had to go and buy nine gallin
key Of bere, which ! could ill afford TO do and
then he went and borrowed lot Of wine and
brandy bottles. We fill them, and my boy put
the number down for an answer. ] don't know
whether II is right or not, split some while
doin' il.
r. S.-Please let the next some be In water. as
am not sble 20 buy more bere.
Mobile Register.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Robert Morris. Il man celebrated for
the part he took I'm the American Rev
olutiOn. was once asked by DR.. Rush:
well. Mr. Morris, how did you like
the sermon! | have heard it highly eX-
tolled." why. doctor said he, II
did not like it ut all. 1t is too smooth
and tame for me- Mr.. Morris. re
piled the doctor. what sort of a SER
mon do you like?" Il like, sir" replied
Mr.. Morris. that preaching which
drives Il man up into corner of his
pew and makes him think the devil is
after him"
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
English Robes of State.

Every robemaker in London always
keeps some of the most expensive
robes of state-those of registrar, for
instance-ready and lends them out
when officials have to use them at any
great ceremony. Many a peer, when
his portrait is to be added to the family
picture gallery, has obtained the GRIM
son and ermine from his tailor for a
small consideration.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
Between Tips.

Facetious Diner ITO very tall and ex-
ccedingly procrastlnating servitorI
For more than one reason you might be
called long waiter.
Waiter Yes; ! sometimes measure
half a day from tip to tip. sir Smart
Set
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Bill Borrower I'm In deuccd hole.
Tom. If you can. ! wish you would
help me out.
Tom Wuggins-Ill help you any way
can, but don't ask me again to put
my name on the back of your note.
Bill Borrower dnjuredD-I wasn't 60
ing to ask you for your credit. Tom. |
was only looking for n little cash.
New York Times.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
A Great secret.

Old Bachelor Uncle Well, Charlie,
what do you want now
Charlie-Oh, | want to be rich.
Rich. Why sop
Because | want to be petted. Ma
says you are an old fool, but must be
petted because you are rich. But it's
a great secret, and | mustn't tell it."
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
Melting.

"Mr. Gallent. you are something of
student of human nature" began Miss
Bewchus coyly.
"Ah, but now" be interrupted, flash
ing his bold black eyes upon her, Il
am a divinity student Philadelphia
Press
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
The Farmer. Happy Thought.

Old Farmer Go his sonl- Now. don't
fergit while ye're in the city TO git
some NV them 'lcctric light plants we
heern so much about. We kin jls' ez
well raise 'em ourselves an save kcro-
sene. -Woman's Journal.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
MnscnIine Mnae.tx.

Nell Polly says her hance is awfully
conceltod.
Belle-In what way?
Nellie has never once told her that
he is unworthy Of her.-Philadelphia
Record.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Don't despair, Edward, even IL ia
Their does say you'll be young enough
to marry five years from now"
"0h. don't care for myself, but how
about philadelphia Times.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
A saving Man.

"Bilkins got married rather sudden.
ly. didn't he
Yes: somebody gave him railway
pass to Bourncmouth for two. and he
didn't waEt to waste IL ."-London Tit.
Bits
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
In
Australia

preserved. Plum pudding is the des-
sert and holly the decoration. More
over. the Australians have a decora-
ton of their own-a crimson Towering
shrub which they call Christmas bush
and which blooms only in December.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
In
Italy

songs of praise. 1t is their part, too,
to decorate the beautiful old churches
most profusely, loving service Mt
which they spend the greater part of
the night. refreshed by collation. aft
er midnight mass.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
HIS FIRST CHRISTMAS TREE


dess 'ey's not a boy in town
Ats luckier AN me-
Tsuse mamma she JUS let me have
My frstsus Trismus tree
An don't want no dinner ner
No supper. too. atause
jus ct up a rooster, an
/ ct my beaTses paws
hate to cat nice ROSTERS, but
'Ey's candy. don't you see?
An liz fellers owns what's on
Fir
Firstsus
Trismus
Treel
! foun' six candy chickens, an
Bimeby foun hen.
AT hen had candy feathers onl
1t tasted good, an men
Them chickens had no mother an
! thought what will they dor
thought an thought an thought, an men
] ct them chickens too!
An men played my drum, an pa
Says. stop at rowl' says he.
Can't liz fellers play what's on
Fir
Firstsus
Trismus
Tree?
An men looked aroun' an looked,
An men says, "What ails
AT funny lookin' elephant.
Tause he has got two tails?'
One on each end he had. an men
ct the bigges one
dess at elephant was glad,
Atause when ! was done
lie looked like he was sayin'. please
Eat up rest Of mel''
All liz fellers minds what's on
Fir
Frstsus
Trismus
Treei
thought I'd eat some candles too,
But icy didn't taste JUS right;
dess 'ey on'y taste good when
It's dark an late at night
An men q rabbits ear ! tried,
An men says "'See here
You bes' JUS eat at rabbit, too.
Atausc IL wants its earl
Now. rabbitses 'ey want cir ears,
ATS very plain TO see,
An li'r iellers helps what's on
Fir
Firstsus
Trismus
1reei
So ! don't want no dinner ner
No supper, an dess
] won't want any breakfuss, tause
] got TO take a resi-
'Ey's taggcrs. an 'ey's ionses.
An men 'eys poptorn, too,
An gingerbread ! don't know when
ever win get frewl
dess 'ey's not a hoy in town
AIS luckicr an me.
Tause lit feliers owns what's on
Fir
Fitstsus
Trismus
Tree,
Baltimore American.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

maidens throng on
Christmas eve be-
fore her shrines in
Italy and play upon
their guitars and
mandolins, singing
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Buenos Ayres Is the largest city south
Of the equator. Rio de Janeiro comes
next. and Sydney. New South Wales
Is n COED third.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
Pleasant Mistake.

Walkin' beneath the mlstletoe may
be n mistake OF the part Nv young
lady. but can assure her II IL likely
tew be- very plcaSan. one.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Group instantly relieved. DR.. Tom
as Electric Oil. Perfectly safe. Never
fails. At any drug store.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Christ KindIeln, or
Christ Child. While
the good child finds
its little stocking
la den with Kris
Eripula'c piftc tho
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

lilies, instead of be-
ing united, are d.
vided. for this is the
time of the long va
cation. Still, Eng
lish traditions are
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
In
Germany

child finds nothing but birch
rod placed there by the avenging Pels-
nichol (St. Nicholas with the fur. Such
an experience makes the small victim
intensely miserable.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

II you want to see stylish well made
suits, go to j T. Webber's, Ionia.
Ask for trading stamps.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

DR.. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin. the
great stomach remedy, is now sold by
l.. o. Cushing.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

In Australia Christmas comes during
the midsummer season. The mercury
may register 100 degrees or more. Fam
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Germany is the land of Santa Claus,
the home of the beautiful legend of
Kris Kringle. which is corruption OF
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
In
England

nous offense to so rejoice and be mer-
ry The year 1913 saw the abolish
ment OF all saints days. and those who
observed the three grand festivals OF
Christmas, Easter and Whitsuntide,
were heavily fined" With the resto-
ration a sad countenance was not at a
premium. but rather merry one. and
all the observances OF these festival
days were revived.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
In
Spain

merrymaking. All Is movement, color,
tumult, dance and song. The great
plazas are Kaleidoscope of human
movement. The cathedrals and church
es are thronged. Piety and gayety
mingle.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

In old Seville and the other beauti-
full cities of Spain Christmas is largely
an out of door celebration. The Anglo
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19
YULETiDE CUSTOMS.
How the Day IL Observed In Many
Countries.

In England in the early Anglo-Saxon
days Christmas was celebrated with
almost saturnalian revelries, the lords
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Inspired by the ancient poetical
thought of cheering the Virgin during
the pangs of maternity, young men and
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

OF misrule holding
full sway. but the
first breath of Puri-
tanism scorched the
zeal of the jewellers.
and IL became a hei-
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

Saxon IDEA OF hearth
and home is foreign
to the Latin temper
ament, and the gra-
cious climate lends
I4nnIf IL frnnno.
Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-19

For particular smokers.
An attractive gift full of solid
comfort for man would be one
of our genuine meershaum or
French briar pipes, trimmed in
gold or silver with real amber
mouth pieces. Complete in
leather case.
so TO So.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13
THE KAISER UNEASY

The manner III which the German
authorities are s%nppresslng reports Of
the kaiser's speeches would make it
appear that his royal highness is talk
ing too much. The recent attempt
upon the ksiser's life seems to have
shaken his nerves and loosened the
wheels in his head. As the masses of
the German empire become better
educated and learn from America some
of the advantages of a republic, they
are more inclined TO question the doc
trine OF the divine right of royalty and
the recent almost strange %utteranees of
their ruler do not tend TO increase their
respect. The emperor is right in say
ing that trying times are coming. The
German masses are crying out hard
times and when they fully realize what
a burden of taxation their gaudy roy
atty is becoming, that royalty may
we'll look for trouble.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Mr.. T. Murray Reed has purchased
from Mr.. Sam Neale q hall interest In
che Lafayette Leader al HiggiusvilIe,
and the paper will be conducted here
after under the firm name of Neale Il
Reed. Mr.. Neale will take the busl-
ness management and Mr.. Reed the
editorial department. Mr.. Reed was
until recently connected with the War
r%ensburg Daily Star and was formerly
of the repertorial staff Of the Kansas
City World. Mr.. Neale has made a
good paper of the Leader during his
connection With it aud We predict that
with the partnership now formed the
paper will continue to improve and
take an advanced rank among our
county papers. The lNTELLIGENCER
wishes The new firm an abundant
measure of success.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Mrs. Carrie Nation was SO highly
grStIied at the treatment which she
received in Kansas City at the hands of
The reporters of the Times that she has
written that paper a letter asking that
the Times staff join her forces when
she comes to Kansas City. Her letter
CLOSES with this alluring invitation 81
do hope you will be so much an adj
mirer of mine that when ! come 10
Kansas City with my Ratchet that your
staff may be my advance guard" Very
likely most of the staff boys are
"Buffaloes'' andItheir "bar'' experience
having been largely left-handed they
could not well take hatchets in their
right hands.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Mrs. Nation may have the sympathy
of a great number of the women OF our
land in her Ratchet wal against the
liquor business, but when she decrys
the Easter bonnet and tells the fair
damsels OF the suuflower state to grid
their loins with sack.clOih, which is an
indirect attack on the tabernacle
gown, she will cause them to denounce
her as a crank.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13
FUNSTON AND THE REGULARS.

President Mckinley undoubtedly did
chat which was gratifying to the
majority of the American people when
he appointed Frederick Funston to a
brigadier g%eneralship, but the dog 10
The manger spirit of the regular Off
GERS is a thing Of no credit to the
regular army, and reveals a sentiment
that is a disappointment to the nation.
The people as a rule have looked upon
our army as composed OF men OF more
generous impulses, but it would seem
that the SIMPSONS are not confined
exclusively 20 the navy.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The matrons and society leaders OF
South park, Chicago, becoming dis
es4ed at the way in which the city
dads are not keeping the streets clean
have decided to tuck up their skirts
and take their brooms and have q
spring cleaning of their own. Some
thing will surely be done, for when
caicago rou,ou set tneir feet down on
dirty streets the argument is weighty
and broad.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The Ausonla, Conn, authorities
have at last captured the hugger that
has been waylaying and huggIng the
women of that town almost nightly fOr
the past three months. The frequency
and long continuance of this hsgger's
operations might lead some malicious
people to think that perhaps Con
necticnt old maids went out purposely
to be Rugged.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

II is now reported that the five
young ladies of the Potter college, at
Bowling Green, Ky who we're de-
tected in the act Of climbing out Of
their rooms to join their gentlemen
friends, were only going to q duck sup.
per. From the number Of guns which
their beaux we're able to turn upon
Pres. Cabell they must have expected
40 kill their ducks while they were out
that night, or possibly they were
ioaded for s'bar.n
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Otis G. Springer, the Young bus
mess man OF Carthage, ILL.,, who some
eight months ago left a note in an
abandoned skiff in the lake off Chicago
stating that he had drowned himself,
recently returned home. lie possibly
heard that he was not greatly missed
by those whom ne expected would pine
away and die OF broken hearts.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

1t is now reported from China that
Ii Hung Chang is out Of favor with
the emperor because of his friendIlnes'
toward Russia. Iii has BY this time
become accustomed 10 the loss of his
peacock feather and yellow jacket.
Besides be has 4 few millions Of cash
Of h,s own which will enable him 10
live in tolerable comfort the balance Of
his life.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13
LYING! WHO Is?

I We would he II We were to tell you that we had more goods than
{ w .hnrscs in town, and that We we're selling them sem, srr~
3 =" !. ,,,her fellows. We have not become wise enougb - q
; ahont our competitors affairs, nor do we want to know but tt
) ovtotr of. that, we have a splendid stock of goods, selected ws
) care and bought for cash In styles and qualities We think wee,
100 90 earorahlv with our ~neighbors, and as to prices, we ara r~
- ,h,t 70 our customers. Please compare the fonowing ns
s what others quote YOU and govern ourselves accordingly
{ 5000 SS Yards splendid Dress Prints blue and other colors, ..... 80
Z -0o ,,rls beautiful ,rcs ginghams -. -. ""
| S CIV y nr ard wide Len Coop brown muslin. ....... :. H.. 49,. 49,"
/ Our RpP brown cotton, yard wide .............m.
: Orr Iockhart brown cotton, yard wide.
! or milan Head, ward wide, brown cotton, ............. 80"
{ FfrstC al bleached muslin &c. Our owl. ,...,,.......... "'
: 0nr Normandy world beaterl yard wide. .......... ...
! Tons1ales. ills, Fruits and Big l. all yard wide =. 80.
{ Ready made sheets, the very best grade, each, Sc, 4ac, sc and
: Ready made pillow cases. each l6, II l-2c and ......~...
! Kinrs 200 ward spool cotton, . spoos for. ...........
{ NerTroEis 800 yard spool cotton, Sspools for. ......,...
{ Ciimax snool silk. black only, 100 yards, 2 spools for 500"
s One thousand other things just as cheap as these. Come and
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

If Japan does not intend to fight
Russia she is certainly running a strong
bluff in getting transports ready and
putting her reserve cruisers into CON-
mission. Japan is a game little roos-
ter and may yet surprise the world
with her military achievements.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The German "KsiSer" Is determined
that the children of his realm shall be
real good little boys and girls and
therefore requires that the pupils Of
the public schools Of the province OF
Saxony, Prussia, shall learn by heart
291 Biblical verses and 1875 verses OF
hymns in addition TO the catechism.
This is one of the advantages of living
under au emperor.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

1t would seem that the present adj
mlniStration is not yet satisfied with
the number and variety of Islands it
has acquired and DOW wants to buy
the Danish West Indies whether Den
mark wants to sell them or not. There
must be millions in islands for some
body.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The other nations mixed up IN the
Chinese puzzle would like to e
Russia move out Of Manchurla, but the
bear knows a good thing when she gets
her paw on it aud shs is not disposed
10 rush away and leave it al the bid
ding Of the powers.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Among other things proposed for
~Aguinaldo's amusement should be come
to this country is that he be made a
Buffalo In order that be may be fully
convinced of the generosity Of the
American people.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

In Macon, Mo, recently q father
and his son married a widow and her
daughter. Now what Kin are they 10
each other?
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The Texas Legislature IN its feeling
concerning Funston is very much like
the Jews felt about Christ, they did
not think that anything good could
come out of Nazareth. Texas is a
great state but she is not the only
rooster on the dump.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Kruger says that the Boer wal will
20 on, and according to latest reports
from Africa it seems to be doing that
very thing. Those Boer % peace
proposals seem to have been some.
thing Of an English boomerang.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The d. mocratic factions in st. LOUIS
appear TO have buried the hatcbet or
perhaps they have sent it to Kansas to
be used in the temperance cause.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

The deputy sheriffs who went 10
serve papers on General Csssius Cla,s
Che 81 year old wal veteran, can
testify that the general has moi lost The
art of war.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1901-04-13

Russia does not seem greatly wor.
rled over the protests 10 the Man.
churian affair Of the "kid" nation.
japan.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1901-01-05
rIAJoR STARTLING.

Major William Startling, M. Am. Soc.
G. E., one of tine most eminent author
tiles in the United States upon levee
construction and river regulation, died
lat Greenville. Miss..o December III.
Mr. Startling was born In Columbus,
Ohio, on January 5, 1889, and was
graduated from the University OF the
City of New York in 1855. He enlisted
as private, in the civil war, in Octo-
Der, 1862, and he served until Septem-
Der, 1864, when he was invaded with
the rank of Major, in the 9th Kentucky
Infantry. He was for time on duty
with the Typographical Engineers, but
for many years led a quiet life as
planter. In May, 1881, he entered the
service of the Mississippi Levee Board,
and on October % he was appointed a
q. 8. Assistant Engineer. In Septem-
Der, 1883, he became u. s. Principal
Assistant Engineer, and was placed in
charge of the Arkansas and other inn
portant levee work, and in the follow
ing February he was put in charge of
the levees on the Yazoo front of the
Mississippi river. He was made chief
Of the Mississippi Levee Board in July
1884, with headquarters at Greenville. |
Miss, and held this position for many
years. At the time of his death he
was U. S. Assistant Engineer at New
Orleans. La.
Major Startling became widely known /
through his, contributions to engineer
ing literature. In November, 1895, be
read, before the American Society of /
an exhaustive paper on
.'The Discharge of the Mississippi
Piver," occupying $50 pages of the
and constituting in fact
the best and most complete
treatise extant upon this important
engineering problem His most inn
portant and valuable work, however,
was given to the profession in the form
Of contributions to the columns Of the
News. These included a
series Of papers on the .,Floods Of the
Mississippi which were afterward
separately, and valuable ar
Holes on levee construction and main-
ienance.
on March IS, 1899. Major Startling
vas appointed By TIE presidont mem.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1901-01-05

Der Of a Board Of Engineers 10 reprr
upon The project for lnlroviig
In the Southwest Pass, An outcome u
this WAS Two important pas omhis
pen, publ shed in u 9 Pr emf vollil {
Of this journa one giving ,h sto y
Of the South Pass improvement and
the other describing In detail the
problem ut Southwest Pos h CID
methods fixed uron for the solution.
Major Starling's contributions 10
engineering literature were not less
notable for their literary merit than
for their value as concise record OF
facts coupled with a conservative and
judicial expression Of opinion. Few,
indeed, among recent writer's on engin-
eering topics, have been able TO en-
terrain and interest the reader as did
Major Startling His writing evidenced
moreover the scholarly habits and in
dustry in research which were charac-
terestic of the man. and showed such
grasp Of the subject as TO carry convic-
tion to the reader. Engineering News.