Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1901-11-14
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.
1.-THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANG
ING THE FURNITURE.

81 the Appearance of the Rooms
VI Brought Trouble to the Male Com
tingent and sorrow to Herself.
~ ssDo you change the position Of the
Furniture when you clean a room?
inquired housewife No. of friend in
FFhe course of heart to heart talk.
do 1? Why, yes, indeed! don't
skeel as if the room is cleaned unless I
ehange the furniture little bit. Do
SouY
a "Well, l usually change the orna-
yments around and so forth, but in the
Tspring and fall / like to change every
thing in a room-completely alter the
whole appearance of it. Then I fancy
!he things are all new, and they seem
20 look prettier somehow. But, do you
know, my husband doesn't like it at
allp'
Neither does mine! Isn't that singu-
lar? Men are so peculiarv'
Eyes, indeed they are!'
So many houSekeeperS share the
views of these two that a story with
moral will not be out of place.
1t was the other night only that Mr..
Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to
he'd at an unusually early hour, leaving
his wife reading in the sitting room.
He had headache and carried COB
let of water in his right hand. Fear
iessly advancing into the dark bed
room Mr.. Blank suddenly felt both legs
violently cut from under him. He
ciutched wildly at the air and said
several things of an explanatory ma
ture but there was nothing to save
him. He went down.
"Good gracious, Henryy' calculated
Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the scene of
disaster. "What is the matter?
Where are you? Why don't you light
the gas?" Suiting the action to the
word, she beheld her husband sprawl
ing across the bed; the glass he had
carried had discharged it's contents
across the pillowshams and shiyered on
| the floor.
Mr.. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that of all
| the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said it was pretty thing for man to
walk into his own room and have to
| fall over things in the dark. He said
| he wouldn't stand it; the furniture
must be replaced where it formerly
stood.
Il shan't do anything of the kind"
replied Mrs. Blank. SIT looks very
much nicer where it is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when you
get into dark roomw
"S'pose you'd like me to crawl in on
all tours" snarled Mr.. Blank. 81
couldn't feel where he bed was unless
| happened to touclI the footboard. I
thought l could wall clear over to the
bureau. 1 tell you it's COMPOUNDED
crank you have on this subject. Some
day you'll precipitate a serious acct
dent"
IF any one precipitates, it'll be you,
l should think" retorted Mrs. Blank
Jelly. And the furniture remained
where it was.
1t was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry a pile of
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had bottle Of
ink in his hand, and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of his peregrina-
tons in search of it, however, he came
into violent collision with the glass
door of the bookcase, which he broke
There were also inky traces discernible
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
in. This time there was some balm for
her feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did it with the best will In
the world.
Her own downfall was not long in
coming, however. although for few
days only minor Inconvenience were
met with, such as the abrasion of an
kles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage of her pet parrot from the
window where it spends the day to the
snug corner where it passes the night.
She did not trouble to light the gas, and
by some unaccountable mental lapse
she had forgotten the precise point at
which tabouret, on which stood a jar
diniere, was stationed. She charged
into the tabouret with considerable
force, was oyerbalanced by the weight
of the cage in her arms and took
header with a resounding crash. The
parrot shrieked, and, unable to distin-
guish friend from foe. inflicted a severe
bite on her mistress finger. Mr.. Blank
came in hurriedly, picked up his wife
and assisted in making an inventory Of
sundry Commissions. Then they lifted
the parrot cage, badly bent, and the
jardiniere with a piece Clipped out of
it and the tabouret somewhat scratch
ed, and then Mr.. Blank observed quiet
ly:
II have just one thing to ask you,
Mrs. Blank. Was | right"
"No, you were notp' retorted Mrs.
Blank savagely. Serious accident?
What's serious about this, should like
to know? For goodness sake, Henry,
don't stand there trying to look like
martyr! If you must have the furni-
ture moved back, I'll move itv' And
she did.-Philadelphia Record.