The Irish standard., 1901-05-18

u
last summer, and by strict economy
the trip was strung out to period Of
a little over six months. He landed
home last week, coming in the steerage
with a lot of foreigners. The immi-
grafton agents, with their Interpreters,
were wide awake. The young Phila-
delphian Is very dark, and he was mis-.
taken for Il foreigner. One of the in
terpreters came up to him and said:
'Mocesh mGnveet po Polski?' "They're
trying to string me-" thought the
Fourth ward man. "I'll keep it up"
So he shook his head. The interpreter
was asking him if he could speak
Polish. Then he changed to Russian,
asking: "Moczesh govoreet po Rous-
skip" Again the supposed foreigner
shook his head. "Redden Sic Yid-
dish?" asked the interpreter. This was
followed by another Shake of the
head. Then, in order, the interpreter
asked: "Parlez vous Francais?"
"Sprechen Sic Deutsch?" "Talar nj
svenslSa?" and "Parlate Italiano?" A
negative shake Of the head followed
each query. "For heavens sake, what
language do you speak?" exclaimed
the interpreter. The supposed foreign
er laughed. '"That's the stuff" he
said. "Why didn't you ask me that
first?" The interpreter nearly col
lapsed.
In certain town in England stands
public house with well known sign
over the door, "When shall we three
meet again?" and on the board the
figures Of two asses are painted. An
1rishman could not reckon it up, there
being only two asses, and the sign
saying three. He stood gazing at it
for long time, and at last the land
lord popped his head out Of the win
dow above. Pats face lit up with
smile, as he said: 81 wondered where
the other chap had gone to-"
1t was evident i'll his swagger that
he was scion of the British aristoc-
racy, and the most casual observer
could not have failed to note that he
was stranger to the city. He touched
on the shoulder a well-dressed, auburn
haired young man who was lolling
in front of Broadway hotel. "Par-
don me, me dear man, but could
trouble you for a match?" After light
ing his cigar, he continued: "Bah
jove! this is a remarkable city. This
is my first visit to New York, dye
know? Pm deuced stranger but on
the other side I'm person of inlpor-
tance. 1 am Sir Francis Daffy, Knight
of the Garter, Knight of the Bath,
Knight Of the Double Eagle, Knight
Of the Golden Fleece, Knight of the
Iron Cross. Dye mind telling me your
name, me dear MANI" Replied he of
the auburn hair, in deep, rich brogue:
"N1e name is Michael Murphy, night
before last, night before that, last
light, tonight, and every night-NIi-
clael Murphy"
In suburb of Philadelphia lives an
old German couple named Skimme-
kopf. The husband, Fritz, has two
dogs, Of which he is very fond. One
is a pup, while the other is quite old.
but, as sometimes occurs with dogs of
different Breeds the old dog is much
smaller than the six-months old pup
~. "Dere was Something's funny
aboud dem dogs alretty," said Fritz,
who was showing them to a friend
the other day. "Dot leedlest dog vas
de piggist." Mrs. Skimmekopf, real
izing that her husband had not made
the point quite clear, thought she had
better come to his assistance. "You
must eggscuse mine husband" she
said. "De English languidch he knows
not goot. Vat he means is dat de
youngest dog yas de Oldest"