Waterbury Democrat., 1901-02-02
AS YOU LIKE IT
Some Stray Leaves from Reporters
 Nota Book

Note BOOK.
 The other day a bright soubrette started to alight from car backward and the conductor grabbed her to save her life. Don't you think I ever saw a street car before?" she snapped, re- sentfully. "Yes,'' said the Irishman, with. ready wit, but Oi want you to see wan again.
 Many amusing facts are gleaned by teachers from the examination papers of their charges. In recent test in a we'll known city of the Nutmeg state the following statements were found: Trade winds are winds that trade with each other; "A volcano is a mountain that smokes; "A cyclone is a number of arrowheads: all these ar rowheads come from tha south; ''Tha city of Washington is in Virginia, an l is noted because it has the presidents chair; "A railway system is q train of cars going over I specified route" The old adage. Ignorance is bliss Is well illustrated in these cases.
 We have always been told that it pays to be polite. and as a rule it Is a good principle to act upon on all oc- casions, but there are exceptions to the rule, as passengers on trolley car mo- ticed during the present week. Two ladies boarded a car In Brooklyn. and when the conductor came along one handed him q quarter, at tie i time telling him to take two fares out of it, while the other pushed a bill into his face with the remark: Please take the fares out of this.'' The conductor hesitated for moment and req ached for the bill, stating to the woman as he commenced to look for the change: '1es, ma'arn, I'll take yours because you said 'please.'.''
 An amusing incident occurred on East Main street. near Exchange place last evening. shortly before 6 o'clock As the East Main street trolley car which was scheduled to arrive in the center at o:o1 was coming along East Main street. opposite Brook street. the White House cafe was being pull to it's place of abode on the north side of the green. The horse and wagon occupied all the space within and some outside of the rails, and the former was dragging along al istless pace. The car had to lessen it's speed, the motorman banged away at his bell, but it availed nothing. The driver
 
 was unable to hear any sound. The speed of the car was slackentd q more and more until the car was barely moving. Finally some one informe1 the driver of the White House cafe of the delay which he was producing. and he drove the horse and inc. dental ly the wagon followed from the track. Many people were witness s of the q : verting sight and all enjoyed it. as manifested by the pleas ng smiles which adorned their beaming coun- tenanceS.
 Here is q story that I shall not tell where 1t happened for obvious rea- sons. but l give you my word 1t is genuine Three guardians of the pub lie peace dropped into q hotel after duty the other morning and sat down to have a time among themselves. They took a little too much hard stuff and then two of them got Into snarl when one remarked that he knew the other fellow had no use for him any way. II have as much use for you" was the reply that came across the table "as l have for any other Catho- lie" Then shooting irons were bran diShed and nothing short of fear of being brought into court prevented blOodshed. Never mind what town these blue coats belong to, but while the subject is on it might not be a1niss to state that the officer who expressed such contempt for the fellow who diff ferred from him In religion was spared being fired" not many moons ago simply because a Catholic reporter re- fused to appear against him when he was up on a charge of getting tipsy on his beat, so that while the officer has no use for Catholics now, there was q time when one of them held him in the hollow of his hand. and he knows it. too. We'll never mind, we'd do the same thing again under similar circumstances and With the self same man, regardless of what he thinks about us. What fools men are to be carrying about such hatred in their breasts for fellow beings who do not happen to be able to see things from their standpoint
 It takes a small boy to get square with anyone who undertakes to cheat him out of his wages. The other day man bought q snow shovel for his boy and when the white flakes came Wednesday the youngster was out early the next morning. digging away Tn the street. A neighboring woman saw him and wanted to know if he would not just as soon shovel the snow off her walk. adding that it would ac- commodate her and would not be any additional labor upon him. The lady was on her way to the center at the time and the little fellow, thinking there was something in it. tackled the job right away and had the walk as clean as a whistle when she returned. The owner appeared much pleased with what he had done and thanked him very politely and then started to enter the house when the boy stopped her and asked if she did not intend to pay him. The woman laughed at the idea and dismissed him with the re- mark that she gets nothing for any thing she does and that she didn't see why he should. Then she went into the house and commenced to prepare dinner and took no further notice of kT,<, ,,. until I,o,. I,1S1,and mo hnrpo