davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Experience Of . rimid Plumber IN /.
Hospital for Feiinep

Experience Of . rimid Plumber m =
Hospital for Feiinep
On the south side there IS a cat hos
pital where two dozen or more valu-
able and highly priced pussies are doc
tored and treated for their ailments,
says the Chicago Chronicle. There Is
everything &C the hospital from the
highest type Of the angora to the mon
grel pet Of the rich young girl who
wants a cat for a cats sake and not for
its tail OF its fur. The plumbing in
this "catery'' was found to be out Of
order the other day and an artisan was
sent for. He thought he was going
into an ordinary private residence and
never dreamed when he rang the door
bell that he was about to enter n Of
the most approved9corrals in the coun-
try. Many Of the cats we're sick, some
were convalescing and others were en-
tirely well. One Of the we'll ones was
a magnificent angora, big as a half
grown panther. The keeper of this
"catery" is a woman, and a man is not
allowed upon the premises unless he
is absolutely needed for some sort Of
repairs. The plumber was the first
man who had been there for many
weeks and as a consequence the cats
were happy when they saw him. The
big angora was especially iubilant and
upon seeing the plumber he rushed
frantically at him for the express pur-
pose Of rubbing against his foot or
licking It with his hand. The plumber,
however, had no intimation that such
was the purpose Of the angora and he
did not stop to find It out. Instead be
turned and ran into the street, drop
ping his tools as he went and shouting
out that he was being pursued by a
lion. The cat thought the exercise
fun and kept right after the frightened
plumber. The latter tried to shin a
tree but the angora was among the
branches waiting for him before he had
taken the first stroke with his clinched
knees. He leaped back to the ground
and the playful cat leaped lightly on
his shoulders. This was enough for
the poor plumber, and as he sank down
on the pavement he murmured, And
to think that 1 am to be eaten up by
a lion right on a big Chicago street.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Nitro-glycerine would make a fatal
ist Of any man. It is a substance that
Is likely to do almost anything except
what is predicted Of it. A t%en-quart
can Of it had been dropped of the roof
Of a house with no disastrous results,
while It is on record that a man. in
passing a can that had been emptied
and that was lying beside a forest
path, struck it with his walking stick
and was promptly blown into a neigh
boring treetop. Instances are numer-
Gus where workmen have "thawed
out" the erratic fluid by standing the
cans on top OF a hot stove and have
continued to eat three meals a day
and yet the dropping Of a piece Of hot
iron into a tub OF water in which such
cans had been standing wrecked a
building and an adjoining oil derrick.
Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
wor WITHOUT TRYING.

A travelling circus recently paid a
visit to a Lancashire town, and, as an
attraction, offered a prize to the man
who could, as the natives term it, pull
tn ugliest mug" The rules laid down
were that each person should have
three tries. Consequently competition
ran high, some of She contortions being
horrible to behold. After all had done
their level best to win the prize, the
clown, who acted as a judge for the
competitors, coolly confronted a man
sitting among the audience, who was
noted for his ugliness, and said:
"Tha's won tn prize, owd mon"
Mel" said the astonished individ-
ual; "wha. aw worp't tryin' fort"
"Tha's noa need to try; tha's won II
wi'out."-Tit-Bits
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

"Whoal" was the simultaneous
clamation Of the two old Brownstown
farmers as they met on the road and
pulled up for a little chat.
Coin on past 81 Jones placer" ask
ed one of them after they had disposed
Of the weather and their families.
Yep, I'm goin' a couple o. miles be-
yont him. Why2
Say" after a prolonged chuckle.
when you git front o. his place, walk
the hoses. If 81 don't showup Jest let on
suthin' has gone wrong with the wagon
and go In and borry a wrench or a
hammer. It's worth walking half a day
TO see Sim. JENNY But he's a sight. "
Bee stings, or what?"
Il hain't sayin' a word, only see
aim. That's all. Mornin'. Git ep."
AS good luck would have II Sim was
limDing up and down in front Of his
place and no strategy had to be used
in getting sight Of him, says the De-
troit Free Press. There was a towel
about his head, he had but one eye in
commission, and It was two-thirds
closed. HIS hair was cut out In blotches
to accommodate an adhesive plaster,
and he could just manage to locomote
with a crutch and a cane.
Hello, Sim" shouted the man from
the wagon. "keers M over your"
mo, the keers didn't run over me.
burned GURUS how much people
wanter. find out when they come along
here. But l hain't maxim no grumble
bout you, Abe. cause you and me allus
been friends. 1 know 1 look Jest s
though I'd been sawed and split and
piled up. Did you see that teller round
here last week peddlin' a pop-eyed
black colt lthout a white hair on imp
"Yas. Stopped at my place ant
stumped me fur a dicker."
well you'll never see him again
Abe, ef 1 see him first. He tole me
positiv' that colt was as gentle as {
kitten, M bought him. That nigh.
l rode him inter the woods to look fel
the cows, and when they found m,
about midnight, / was a DANCED sigh
worse'n 1 am now. Eff you ever SCI
that cuss, Abe, git me word, EFF it cost
a dollar"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

stefan. She cannot bring herself TO
tell everything, and the physician is
at a constant disadvantage. This is
why, for the past twenty-five years,
thousands of women have been con
6ding their troubles to Mrs. Pinkham,
and whose advice has brought happi-
ness and health to countless women in
the United States,
Mrs. Chappell, Of Grant Park, Ill,
whose portrait we publish, advises all
suffering women to seek Mrs. Pink
hams advice and use Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, as they
cured her of Inflammation Of the ovaries
and womb she, therefore, speaks from
knowledge, and her experience ought
TO give others confidence. Mrs. Pink
hams address is Lynn, Mass, and her
advice is absolutely free.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28


from Poor Cirouiatisn.
An i%nvigorating tonic bath IS prepar-
ed by soaking several Slices Of lemon
or lines IN the bath water for an hour,
then adding a handful Of bran. Bath
bags Of oatmeal and orris. OF Of shaw
Cd soap and almond flour, are also
pleasant additions to the bath. The
bath Is one Of the best agencies in pre-
venting old age, SO far as appearance
goes. The people who battle them
selves properly are few in number.
The great unwashed are not found
among the poverty-stricken, but in
every class IN life. The person who
talks about HIS plunge" that he takes
daily, is not the person who has a
proper bath any more than Is he who
takes a sponge" The cold plunge and
the cold sponge are tonics, and good
for those with whom they agree. For
the morning sponge warm salt water Is
delightful and very in%vigorating. The
water is easily and cheaply prepared BY
dissolving a cupful Of rock salt in a
pint OF warm water, then adding It to
the bath water. After the sponge rub
briskly with a Turkish towel. Rough
ness Of the skin and chapping In win
ter are often caused by the skin be-
ing imperfectly dried. For persons
suffering from poor circulation bran
baths are recommended. and as they
require only a tub Of warm water, a
peck Of bran, and a rough towel or so,
surely they are within the reach of
everyone. The bran costs only a few
cents, and should be emptied into the
warm water. The surface Of the body
must be well rubbed with the mixture.
and after the bath one will be found
to be not only beautifully cleansed,
but warmed and ipvigorated. Oatmeal
may be used instead Of the bran. but
OF course is more expensive, although
with some skins, especially delicate
ones, It agrees much better. It must
not be forgotten, however, that the
cold plunge or the morning sponge ia
not enough to keep the skin in good
condition. They bring the blood to
the surface, but do not keep the outer
layer of the skin, s~weat-glands and the
oil follicles healthy.-Philadelphis
Telegraph.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
SHE SAT o

A Glasgow servant girl went home a
few evenings ago with her head wrap
ped up in a shawl.
Her young mistress asked her what
allied her. and was told that she was
suffering from a bad attack Of tooth
ache, brought on by sitting in the park.
But you ought not to sit in such a
cold, chilly night as this, said the mis-
tress. you should walk at a smart
pace"
The girl looked at her a minute, as
though plying her ignorance, and then
answered:
you am coort right walking; you
must sit doom. London Spare Mo-
ments.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

In India, where ome have always
been drudges, the Difference paid by
Englishmen to ladies is always a mat
ter Of curious interest. An educated
Mahommedan gentleman was talking
to an old resident Of the Punjab, who
has written on the subject. Said the
Mahommedan: Nov, that the queen
is dead, will you Englishmen take on
your hats to ladies?" When told GER
tainly this would be done and asked
why he made the inquiry, he said:
1--WE thought you used to take OF your
hats to ladies because a lady was thu
ruler Of the country"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

The French believe in the automo-
bile and it is evident that the chiefs
Of the army intend to turn 1t to good
account in time Of war The authori-
ties connected with the artillery at
Vincennes, have addressed a letter to
all the owners Of automobiles, OF
which they possess the numbers
letter asking whether they are will
ing, in case Of mobilization, to place
their machines at the disposal Of the
military authorities. This new depart
ure is an important one, and, If ever
mobilization should take place, IL
would mean increased mobility for a
part Of the French army-Paris Mes
senger.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

walr' and mother Of Adelaide Proctor.
The lady was then 80 years old, and
Ia giving Mr.. Arnold a cup Of tea she
asked, with the pardonable frankness
Of age:
And what did they say about you
In American"
Well said the literary %autocrat,
they said / was c%onceited. They said
my clothes did not At me"
Well, now commented the old
lady, 81 think they we're mistaken as
to the clothes. Youths Companion.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
WHY MRS. PINKHAM
Is Able to Help Sick Women
When Doctors Fail.

How gladly would men fly 70 wo-
mans aid did they but understand a
woman's feelings, trials, sensibilities,
and peculiar organic disturbances.
Those things are known only to
women, and the aid a man would give
is not at his command.
To treat a cas- properly it is neces-
sary to know all about it, and full
information, many times, cannot be
given by q woman TO her family ply
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
LOOKED nErrER THAT WAY.

We deemed it the part Of wisdom to
confne the conversation, as far as
might be, to %generalities.
The average sailor" we accordingly
observed, lis apt to be a pretty bad
egg."
"Ah, yes" replied the c%annibal; you
are quite right! Why, the last sailor
we had was such a bad egg that we
couldn't do a thing except make a Gus
tard Of him!"
From this we cleaned that these saw
ages were not altogether ignorant OF
the culinary devices Of civilization
Detroit Journal.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Mrs. styles-"How l hate that Mrs.
Topping"
Mr.. styles-"What's the matter with
Mrs. Topping?"
"she asked me II Eta raj my
youngest daughter"
What Of that?"
you men a never understand any
thing! It was the way she said it!"-
Boston Transcript.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

r. T. M.-Married man aged Is;
troubled with sore eyes for 10 years;
getting worse; II I read any or go out
in strong sun or wind, they will pain
all night; feel as though something
was in them; have to rub them fire.
quently and wink often; never did
anything for them. What treatment
would you advise? Ans.-Use the fol-
lowing; Yellow oxide Of mercury, ten
grains; white vaseline, n ounce; mix
Apply to the margins Of the lids each
evening.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

This is the time of year to catch
young antelope, deer, squirrels, wolves,
mountain lions, etc. Chas Payne of
Wichita, Kansas, buys all kinds of live
game and game birds for scientific and
propagating purposes, and any one
having anything in this line, should
write to him, at Wichita, Kansas, and
no doubt will receive a prompt answer.
(Cut this out and save it,
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
rHE n1aaER RoY,s sIpE oF Ir.

Don't you know, said the kind
faced old gentleman who stops to talk
to the children, that it is very wrong
for you to fight a boy smaller than
yourself?"
yes" was the reflective reply. I'm
willing to take my share o. the blame
But / think he ought to have a lee
ture, too, on the imprudence Of speak
ing rudely to boys that are bigger
than he is."-WashingtOn Star.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder for the feet. It makes
tight OF New Shoes feel Easy. Cures
Corns. Bunions, Swollen, Hot and
Sweating Feet. At all Druggists and
Shoe Stores, 25c. sample sent FREE.
Address Allen S. olmsted. Leroy, N.X
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
SIZE WAS RIGHT.

Eezymark-"A fortune teller told me
yesterday that l would meet with a
financial reverse"
Nebb-"And did your"
Eezymark-"Yes; his charges were
S5."-Ohio State Journal.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
rALr FRoM RE East.

The great lecturer caused the plat
form to vibrate emphasis.
"The red sum sprouted up from the
China sea. Suddenly the bugle rang!
To armsi But the dozen brave Am
orleans were too late. Ten thousand
Chinese surrounded them. And now
let US draw the veil"
Did the Chinese DIDO up 1.-THE Am
ericans?" asked a voice Quivering with
emotion.
No; they done up their shirts"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

An Indiana court has decided that a
physician is not compelled TO respond to
a cali. THAT may be according TO the In-
diana statutes. but &c is not according to
Hoyle. Hoyle makes no exceptions in Ia
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

There win be exhibits from all over the
world. at the Buffalo Exposition, which
will prove very interesting 70 all who may
attend. but no more so than the news that
the famous remedy, Hostetters Stomach
Bitters, will cure dyspepsia, indigestion,
constipation. biliousness and nervousness.
To all sufferers from the above complaints
a trial Is recommended, with the assurance
that when honestly used a cure will be et-
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
ONLY HALF TRUE

The following Is an opinion doubt
less to be shared by many Americans
who heard Matthew Arnold lecture
during his stay among us. After his
return to London al the close Of his
hrst American tour he visited Mrs.
Proctor. the widow Of Barry Corn
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Trying to make a living by writing
Jokes Is a serious business. The man
who was A. Ward-ed first place died
young and II Is said to have brought an
other man, Nye, to his end.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Small Boy-"say. mister. are you
goln' to build a house this spring?"
Poet-"No. my Sol Why do you
ask?"
Small Boy-"oh, 1 thought mebby
you was savin' your hair to put in the
plaster
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever used
for all affections Of the throat and lungs-WM.
o. ENDsLEY, Vanburen. Ind. Feb. 10, 1900
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
TO STAY.

Belle Towne-"You seem very happy
this morning"
Sue Burb-"And there is much
cause. Our new cook has lost her
round-trip ticket back to the city"
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
Hairs Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price, 75c.

'@They say she threw herself at her hus-
bands head" MY goodness! She must
Is now. or the poor fellow would never
have known what struck him."
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

It is said that Ouida's latest novel
"Streetdust," received It's peculiar name
because the author considers Il something
TO blow about.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

The bluest blue makes the whitest
white, that's Russ Bleaching Blue. the
modern bag blue.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

A waiter in one of the New York restau-
rants has testified under oath that his
averaged more than 800 a week.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

A cynical marri91-p SAYS that half
the clothes a woman bas on are about as
much use to her as a Joke to a man when
ne has the ~tOothache.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

The bacilt Of most contagious diseases
are said to be possessed of tails. All the
better for attaching a car Of disinfectant
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Fruit q . necessary article Of diet. Ia
prime essences are n Primiay's California
Fruit Gum.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

A wise man avoids extremes-especially
those Of waaps and hornets.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

In the spring we take our woolens
on too soon and make things blue
Blaming the COMPOUNDED climate
For the troubles that ensue.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

England may be enYied for its OBJ
servance Of the day Of rest. There
IA a refreshing relief from the Sun
day-morning newspapers, mails and
theaters. Railway traffic is suspended
IN London during churoh-service
hours. The king and queen follow
we'll the excellent traditions of the
past. and not alone are religious GER
emonies re%verently observed but all
about their residences every class Of
labor Is either suspended or lessened
as much as possible.-Woman's Home
Companion.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Pain-Wizard Oil. Use the last on
the first and you have neither one nor
the other.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

The science Of optics won't show It, al
yet
It certainly seems to me
The farther ava from "a dollar you gel
The digger II seems to be.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

~ You Have
Send no money, but write Or. Shoop, Racine, Wis,
boa ff3, for six bottles Of DIT. Bhoop'a Rheumatic
Cure, express paid. ~ cured pay t550i II not Il Is free.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

for examination before paying for same. Catalog-
ues free. An goods stamped FRED MUELLER
lti8-i5 Larimor Street, Denver, Colorado
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28


with hro1ohl nn
f0rHI. nf0 steel
HON Stock sad
ole for l0f 500
steel Horn saddle
double rhlnrha
for af6. DO not
be- deceived By
worthless imita
lions but send
your order direct
10 us and GOT Tim
best genuine oar
fnmmnH harness.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

a poultry raiser explains his success
by saying that he lays for the hens that
don't lay.
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

Every cloud has its silver lining, and
even a dark lantern has 10 bright
side
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28

TUE COLORADO TENT & AWNING Co, Roberl
Il Is. Gutshall, Pres. Largest manufacturer In tho
West Write for catl'g. 1918 Lawrence st., Denver
The San Juan County index. (Aztec, N.M.) 1890-19??, 1901-06-28
Denver Directory.
SADDLES and HARNESS

'hey cost you nothing FOR eNamlna-
sa s99 'S o 6sids'i ,o ann ss9So,.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1901-11-09
jim JEFFORDS WAS EASY
Peter Mahef Put a Sudden Stop to His
Championship Aspirations.
FIGHT FINISHED " THE SECOND ROUND
First Round Was an Exhibition OF Cau-
tious Tapping and CGnching-Slue-
eina Developed in the Second.

Baltimore, November S-Peter Mahel
pot q sudden stop TO the championship
aspirations NJ Jim Jen'ords Of California
in the seeund round or what was 90 have
been twenty round bout at Germans
Nacnncrchor hall tonight Both men
stripped as a. as q fiddle, with JeGord.
having an the best OF 81 IN height and
reach
The first round began with a light punch
and cllnch after which both landed
lightly and clinched again. Then Jehords
touched Peter with a right CD the ribs.
and then they came 10 q clinch. As they
broke away Jenmds touched Peter on
The chin and the latter growled about a
foul. which the referee declined to allow.
JeGords landed lightly again and after
another clinch. touched Peter on the ribs
and they locked arms once more. When
they broke away thcy SPARED While,
after which Peter sent his right 10 the
head without effect The bell rang with
Ia the second round Maher swung his
right &C. Inc body They mixed IL and
exchange p series Of right and left
swings 10 which Jtmorde got bard right
punch on the paw and went 70 the floor
lie lay there until he rclere counted
1--WE. When he got up they mixed u
again, both sendiuA iu hard rights and
lefts Ia the ribs and face. Peter got ID
this time With stin night 10 the neck.
went to The floor. and on the advice OF
bis seconds stayed down uutil six was
counted. When b. got mp they mixed II
o gain. and after o mutual exchange OF hall
jtlzcu terrific rights and icfts. Peter
sent his right 10 the stomach and immel'-
hand sud JefordS WIS down aud out.
Time one minute and four seconds.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1901-11-09
Rheumatism

Is rack on which you need
not suffer long.
1t depends on an acid con.
dltion of the blood, which at.
tects the muscles and Joints.
causes inflammation and pain,
and results from defective di.
gestion and torpid action of
the liver, kidney and skin.
Sciatica, lumbago and stiff
neck are forms of it.
" Hoods ssrsaparilla has cured me n,
rheumatism. was so could not lift any.
thing ana my knees we're so stiff couid
hardly get up or down stairs. since taxing
Three bottles Of Hoods sarsaparnla / have
never felt a symptom OF rheumatism. and
gladly recommend Hoods for this ais.
ease" Mas. Harms TURNER. Bolivar, Mo
have suffered greatly from rheuma-
tism and did not get any relief. When
nearly helpless began taking Hoods sar.
saparilla and two bottles have greatly inn
proved my health. can now use INV arms
ana can sleep At night. which could not do
before" MRS. II. THIELeAEp, az K. Raw.
snswood Park, Chicago, III.