Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-23
How One Business Woman Treats Men
Friends. Il
ACCEPTS NO FAVORS FROM THE START
Follows This Rule With FIa+tering
& =
Success
T II E
G o D E

I've Inquired 1t out that the old code OF
social courtesy practiced by man toward
woman for so many generations is directly
responsible for woman's being behind man
today in the matter of wages and oppor-
tunities."
"Courtesies paid to women a hindrance
to themv' exclaimed a lively member.
How dare you make that out?"
Il don't think it much of a drawback
to have man offer me his seat in the
car when I'm tired" put in another voice.
cor to have him pass up my fare for me
in shakety bus. 1 think it's very nice
of him." spoke up another.
$50 it is nice of him, but it is a him
drance to you as a business woman all the
same said the secretary. Even the
everyday lifting of mans hat to you and
his standing aside to let you pass are
stumbling blocks in your business advance
ment."
"She speaks In parables,'' remarked the
lively member to one who had joined the
group. Just listen, for a man to take off
his hat to girl is an interference in her
business career. For him to be real nice
to her and pay her common courtesy is an
injury Did you ever hear the like?''
You can laugh; know it sounds queer;
but it's true" maintained the leader "A
man takes off his hat in church, and he
takes it off to a woman, but that same
act of taking 1t off is one of the many
things that put the woman on different
footing from him. and that prevent her
from standing squarely and exactly on her
worth as an individual. Don't you know
girls and women right now" she went on,
who are working for $40 and s12 week,
when, If they were men, and of the same
Intelligence and capacity, they would get
SIG or s1S?"
The lively member NODDED. II can call
to mind one or two cases. she said, ironi-
cally. But 1 can't see what the mems
ttncp how, c1yy IL
the scale Of wages"
Real independence.
HAS everything to do with it, was the
answer "As long as we business women
go on letting men treat US as though we
were different We will be set apart in the
matter of standing and wages also. When
woman starts out in business she must
uphold her independence. When she stops
expecting and accepting these little cour-
tesies which had their source in a time
when there were no business women to
consider at all, men will consent to treat
her as an individual pure and simple and
acknowledge her worth on it's merits, pay
ing her the same for her services as a
man is paid"
You see, It's this way" she continued,
when man clerk has sweetheart he's
SO much out, so far as expense is con-
cerned. Now, if a woman clerk has a
sweetheart she's so much in. The sweet
heart buys her theater tickets pays her
car fare, very likely supplies her with
gloves, perfumes, flowers and candy. He is
really source of income to her. This
should not be. Business men and business
women can't stand on the same plane as
long as that sort of thing holds Such
usage Is the outcome of etiquette estab-
lished for men and women when there were
no women wage earners. We should throw
it over. 1t is precisely because more is ex-
pected of man, in the way of escort, be-
cause usually there are more demands on
his purse. that the business
more and pay the woman less for the same
proportion OF work. When 1t comes to
pass that no more is expected Of a man
than woman in matters of social expen-
diture, both will fare alike"
You believe, then, that business women
should regard themselves as beyond the
pale OF ordinary social observance?" she
was asked.
Not beyond it exactly, but as not af-
fected by it at ALL, was the reply.
For instance, in the matter of acquain-
tances. In social life a girl meets only
those men whom her father or brother or
relatives elect to introduce to her The
girl or woman in business has a different
horizon. Her business absorbs the great
er part of her time and cuts her off from
nearly all chance of making acquaintances
other than the clerks and managers she
is thrown in with. In a business way, she
occasionally encounters outsiders but she
has to judge for herself to their fitness
or unfitness for friendship. The old code
Of etiquette would prohibit her from ac-
ceptlng any attentions from an acquaint-
ance formed in that manner. l hold that
she should meet such advances Just as q
ccmrade, insist on being independent and
reciprocating attentions and so avoid all
embarrassment"
Returning Attentions.
Reclprocating attentions? You mean If
a man asks business woman to go to a
play she should ask him afterward to go
to another"' The lively member had got
interested and was following the thread of
argument in earnest
Yes. 1 think she should return the at
tention If she likes him well enough and
he proves reputable, pleasant fellow. To
my mind the business woman must have
social acquaintance, even if she has to
make them informally. 1t is not natural
that she should have no general influences
in her life at all, and her business Occur
PIES nearly all her days. If she accepts
through business just as if she We're a
man. then she must at some time or other
return them, just as man does. As
Things stand now, with the average man
getting higher wages than the average
woman, the man will go on taking the
initiative because he has more income.
when the new regime comes in and the
men ana women wage-earners share alike
give and take, things will be on an easier
and less embarrassing footing
You believe We would all have more
beauX II men and women came to be equal
In earnings and the women paid for part OF
the fun?' inquired the lively girl.
NOT more beaux; more, men compan-
IONS" was the answer "I know a bust
ness girl who has already Set the ball 60
ing. She is stenographer in a commercial
house A man friend of hers works in the
same office and lives near her home in a
suburban town. They get off from work at
the same hour in the afternoon and he
always accompanies her home. But she
stipulated that If he Insisted upon going
along she should pay her own car fare.
ne kicked at first, BUT is +, fine training
Does she give her ticke1,to the conduc-
t tor and her escort give his2" asked lis
No. One afternoon he pays for both and
the next day she pays for both. That's
the way men do in accompanying each
other, and this business girl believes that
woman earning her living ought to act
toward men pretty much as men behave
to each other in matters not connected with
the proprieties of life"
Asked If she expected the new code to
come in vogue in the near future, the Sec
rotary answered warily. 1t was practi-
cable, soundiy, reasonable, and many wo-
men We're on the lookout for inkings to
improve their business status. But tradi- |