West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-03-21
MRS. GAlLUP'S
lAMENTS.
She Says She is Willing that Mr.. Gallup
should Take a Second Wife.
Wants TO Know Whether IL VIII be u
Gal Wife or Wilder.

GGl1 r. GALLUP had lain down
SyW on the lounge after supper
to smoke a pipe, and as Mrs.
Gallup cleared off the table and
washed the dishes she sang "Weary
Souls" at the top of her voice and
in high spirits. 1t might possibly
have been her singing that lulled
Mr.. Gallup to sleep and dropped
the pipe from his mouth to the
floor, although it had never done il
before. He was gently snoozing
when Mrs. Gallup appeared with
hands pressed to her heart and a
wabble to her gait, aud, sinking in
to a chair, she gasped
"Samuel Gallup, shall be as
dead as crowbar in less'n an hour,
and you'd better git up and give me
a last embrace"
Mr.. Gallup gurgled in his throat,
and without seeming to notice his
condition, she continued:
eyes, Samuel, I've got my sum-
mons. / was putin away the last
dish when my heart gave a sudden
bob, my head begun to go round,
and right before me saw my coffin
and an open grave. For a mint |
thought was goner, but then a
small voice whispered to me that I'd
live an hour longer and that I'd
better come in and talk to you. Pm
here to say some last dyin' words to
you, Samuel, and, though don't
expect to draw tears to your eyes,
do hope you'll listen and remem-
Der what / say"
AT this juncture Mrs. Gallup's
tears began to fall and her chin to
culver, and, being so busy with her
emotions, she did not even look
Mr.. Gallup's way. Swallowing at
the lump in her throat, she said:
Samuel, I've allus kinder felt
that in case of my death, you'd
marry ag'in, and it's allus made me
feel little edgewise, but change
has come over me. 1t come two
weeks ago. I'm now resigned to
your takin' a second wife. In fact,
| think it's better you should. Mrs.
Teachout was sayin' to me the
other day that if dropped off you'd
marry ag'in inside of four weeks, as
you'd want somebody to comb your
hair and cut your toe nails, but 1
don't think you'd be as mean as
that. You'd wait at least three
months, wouldn't you ?"
Mr.. Gallup snored in reply, and,
taking this as an answer in the affir-
native, Mrs. Gallup went on
"The usual time is year, but
amt askin you to wait that long for
me. I've bin hard workin' wife,
and I've allus saved every bit of the
soap grease and made the tea last In
way to surprise you, but l amt
askin' for any praise. Pm old and
humbly and nighsighted, and
can't blame you if you kick up your
heels arter Pm gone. Shall you go
on a bridal tower with your second
wife, Samuel? | amt askin' cause
I'm jealous, you know, but jest out
of curiosity. When we got married
all the bridal tower we had was to
go to circus and come home in
thunderstorm, but if you want to go
to Niagara Falls with your new wife
don't stop on my account"
AS Mr.. Gallup hadn't been asked
direct question there was no call
for him to wake up, and as Mrs.
Gallup felt like weeping she had a
fairly good time at it before saying
further
81 did think at one time that If
you married a chit of a girl I'd
come back and sit on the footboard
of the bed and haunt you, but I've
changed my mind about il. 1t amt
in me to be mean. While it pears
to me that you'd better marry
wilder woman about 30 years old,
if you decide on a girl of 20 it amt
for me TO raise no row. While
wilder woman would be at work
SEWN patches on your trousers and
maxim apple butter, gal wife would
want to be swingin' in a hammock
or playin' the melodeon, but it's
your own lookout. The papers are
full of gal wives runnin' away with
tin peddlers, and you must hev read
Of 'em as well as me. Was you
thinkin' Of gal wife or a wilder,
Samuel ?"
Mr.. Gallup combined a sigh and
snore and stood mutual, and after
hanging on to her chin to stop its
shaking Mrs. Gallup continued:
al was goin' to ask you to think
Of me once in awhile when / was