The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1901-10-30

CIara-lt seems 81 strange to be in
: love.
M,ud-Whv, haven't you ever ex-
'erienced that feeling?
Clara-Oh, yes, but not for several
yeeks.-Detro;t Free Press.
Subbubs-See here, you said that
house we bought Of YOU was stones
throw from the station.
Agent-Well?
oupbubs-Weli, simply want to
snow "ho threw that tstune.-Philadel.
,hia Times.
II One never knows mans real
value until he is dead" commented the
thoughtful woman.
"T1ue," .eplied the worldly woman.
Previous to that we can only specu-
ate on the amount of his life insur-
auce. Tit Bits.
| Tawker-I tell you what, 1T takes
baby to brighten up the mouse, eh?
Walker-I should say. We've had
~ keep The gas lit all night ever since
ours arrived, three months ago.-Phil-
'delphia Record.
I Her fathcr-Well, sir what can do
I for you.
r. Her lover-I-er-called to see if
,ou--er-would give assent to my
marriage to your daughter.
Her father-Not cent, sir; not a
cent. Good day Philadelphia Press.
1t was his first voyage, and ho was
| leaning over the rail In an attitude of
reckless bandpnment
What are YOU d,ing2" some one
Jeeringls asked him.
81 am render N to thn sea, s r, he
things that are lhe seas, sir he
gasped, as soon as he could eak.
Petijohn-Women are paradoxical,,
eatures
Pili>bury (wear'ly) Yes. My wife
has got Que "f those hats that they
wear at an angle of forty five degrees,
and she Is forever asking ne: george,
nave | got my hat on stra,gh,?"-
Brpokyn E,g.c. II
a 6u lding in a. Georgia hamlet dis
plays thus unique slgu School of
learning Lessons gwen in poetry
wiring and noveltry. Also, will teach
music to you, and dramatics. Hides
aud wool taken tor cash. Also. as the
winter season is coming on, oak wood
and klnding."
The youth who wa, smoking coffin
nail near the monkeys cage took anoUh-
er one from his pocket.
Would 1t do any HARM" he asked,
'' if | should offer him one IF these?''
nt l,l
dant. I" He wouldn't touch it. A
monkey isn't half as big fool as it
looks" "-Chicago Tribune.
Tonl-Oh, she'll nev r have me, L
know.
Cousin Nell-pm sure she likes YOU.
Why don't you ask her?
Toni was g lug to last night, but
she called me u lob b,Ler, aud
Cousin Nell-You're goose; that's
what you are. Don't you know sne's
| passionately fond of Holsters? She
meant tc say you were nice enough to
eat.-Philadelph'a Press.
You ! have To excuse my dolly"
SAID the little lour-y year-old, with great
dignity. "She's indisposed."
What is the matter with her,
Kuy?" asked the visitor, with show
friendly interest and sympathy.
She's lost all the sawuust out of
ier otonach," replied HI ty, "parL of
he' lett legs gone, snc's got nerv ,us
pl"stratlon, d cau't wink her eyes"
Chicago Tribune
He whs very nungr> 10 king tramp
aud he felt THAI his condition would
move the h, arr Ut even miser.
Pray help a.e, kind SIR" mourn
fully walled the tramp, as he approach
ed the miser. 4" haven't had blle
since yes,erday!"
Nonsense" snarled the wealthy
0ue. Don't try your lies on me. 1
can see through you'll"
"Hravensl' gasped the beggar 81
J know Pm pretty hin, but L never
thought IL was 80 bad at thatl"
a young man w.uh :, tallowy com
plexion, blotched face and slender legs
called at d DOCTORS Office to consult
hlm.
Doctor" he said, "pve heard
thera's such 'hi 6 as tobacco heart.
wish you wolld tell me if you tnlnk
lhat's what I've got"
. The physician listened to state
ment of his symptoms in detail, noted
tue yellow stain on his fingers and le-
piled: sm
M, young mau, il isn't tobacco
heart that als you. 1t is worse that
Lhat. 1t is cigarette brain. ."--Y outh's
: Companion.
u Befo' de Wan Honest, now.
n Uncle Eph M" 8 i'd one of young men
k did YOU ever, in all YOUR life, have as
t much money as $40 at one tlme?"
Il 81 was wuff eighteen hun'ed dell rs
It nce," replied Unce Ep'hm, suflly.
), " jes as stood. ."-Ch ctgo Tribune.
~zs-+e.-ose.
e Farmers, bring or send the fruits of
II your labors to the State Fair at Colum-
Is oia, Oct. 28th to Nov. 1st, aud you
need not exclaim, as mauy are heard
to do every year, 81 can beat that"
'f There are 10000 textile workers in
~ Fall River opera'ing 3 900 900 spindles