The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-01-27
Fun Of the World

An old couple in the west OF Scotland
removed 70 a iarge town. and the hcs-
band bought al alarm clock 70 wasen
aim IN The morning, as he had 10 80
some distance 10 his work
A few weeks afterwsrd the couple got
Two young men a dodgers. wh- asked
70 be awakened At the same time As
themselves
When the husband was winding up the
clock that night his wife sad to him.
Moo. Jock. ven hae 70 gle the clock
guid winding the nicht Ye ken IL
has TWO MAR 10 waken the morn
z
The other day 3 lady. after making
purchase at the army and navy stores.
London. aesent-mindedly walked cut OK
the department with another customer
umbrella The customer hurried after
her and the lady, with apologies. return
e5 the umbrella This reminded her that
she wanted new umbrellas for herself
and her daughter. After buying them
she entered an omnibus. and on sitting
down found herself opposite the owner Of
the first umbrella The latter stared
ar the two new umbrellas and taen. With
the iciest of smiles, leaned forward and
said: 4 see you've had 8 successful
morning"
sc
President Patton OF Princeton Univer-
sly recently delivered sermon AZ the
Fifth Avenue Collegiate church. his sub
ject being Faith" DR.. Patton spoke
OF the bland faith Of the client no puts
himself at the mercy Of a lawyer In pre-
pairing an action for trial and Of the
confidence Of the sick in intrusring Them
selves 10 the physician
A case of blind faith" said the cler-
gyman. The doctor writes out a pres
cription. Oftener than not, you cannot
read it, you don't know what II Is he
tells you 10 take it. 'Yours not To reason
why. yours but TO do and die
Whether or not DR.. Patton meant IL.
there was a distinct ripple throughout
the congregation.
DR. Colt, who has recently announced
his intention of resigning tee b.sh eprc
Of Truro was formerly the dean OF Wor-
cester, rs Observation-Disclosures was 50 no.
torious that ne earned for himself she
sobriquet of Dean Forgot" He him
self on one occasion invited a numb ?
of friends to dinner. and a shore tire
before the dinner hour he suggested that
4 stroll through the grounds would ia a
good appetizer. After spending q QUAR-
ter OF an hour or so admiring The green-
houses, etc. they suddenly came acraes
a small door in the wal All" said II
=
Be a much shorter way home for YOU
than going by the front Vay''-ana. an
unconscious Of his invitation, he opeael
the door and bowled them outt
Yes" said he: "life IS 50 lonely
1T is lonely sometimes" she answered /
Wouldn't it be sweet to have q little
cottage covered with ivy and honeysuckIe
and roses2'
"Oh. wouldn't ito"
And when fellow comes homo tr5d
from business. to have a nice little vie
to meet him at the door with a kiss?'
''Y-e-e-s"
And then the summer nights; the win
dows open the sunset giving light
enough in the coy parlor. aud-you
mean wife Al the plano. singing In the /
cleaning It would he lovely
woud-be-nice."
And then"
At this point a careworn woman came /
round the corner with a pair OF twins IN
p perambulator A dead silence fell
upon the air for a little Then they
changed the subject
g z
A Memphis railroad man received \ ct
ter the other daV the printed matter az .
the top OF which gave him an intelli
gent though ridiculous idea IF The excit-
ng variety OF western frontier ufe The
writer resides in a town located on the
iividing line between Mexico and the
United States. and one way ne has Of
advertising the multiplicity Of his 0ur-
iuits IS on his letter heads At ne ton
and TO the left Of the center Of the pace
s his own picture. beneath which Is
printed in bold type these words:
This Is me"
To the right Of the center Of the pace
s a Photograph Of his wife under which
his inscription appears This Is she
ia woman"
Tn the center ~ the page and between
he two pictures IS set out IN big black
etters this Information: "HoteI Annex.
sample Room Restaurant. Fish Hatch
ry Gas Plant Chicken Farm. sa con
lunch Room. Billiard Hal"
Near the date line e. this sententious
de and the old wo-
nan run the business -
2
Events in the life If Senator Towne o.
Minnesota have within the iast year or
o crowded thick and fast upon eafh
Tiers heals. Hls nomination bp he
'opulist party for vice president during
ne recent campaign was an exceedingly
Ugh honor for so young a man and
here was "a little twinkle IN HE eve
day or 50 ago when be mounted me
teps and took ND the presidential gave.
-hich WAS handed over 20 him fefnro A.
v by Senator FRYE
Senator Mason took IN the situation +
9TH keen delight Senator Allen wae ,
oeaking mauifesily - III u1 time At
be- earliest opportunity Senator Maaoa
emf 20 Towne a little note. racing
Yours sins are many. The punishment (
IS the crime"
Senator Towne replied with tie follow
r. note II don't know shout the rms
hmeat nor The crime bat fhink am
-eaking record Or term fn ths
ouse one month in the senate. and oas
our in the vice presidential chair"
Many years ago when rsnofs were-1
- habit Of chewing ma . mere fbaa
the present day two tars were vfffi
the gallery O IN % EaEEss country {
lurch paving very great attention %
10 service.
During TIE sermon one ~ them hoard =
distinct sound ~ euorirE coming ~ e
om THE BODY - t6e church. ana soek-
3 down. he cav fat Cd farmer faef
deep BIS had thrown VIII back aid
E r1auth wide oper
The temptation Haa foo stroEe far Jack
no. making ~ 1ua ~ tobacco sr r
.e eye and ganc.rE along 10 lrag
= piomh-lius arou7ed e fnfo Be Oh
au's npufa. caunE fhe 1lE fsiaH L q
osa & vito snap ard 5aup ~ hs RI
e. FpaTfernS and seittng vista q y
~ slmost ruTple
onfoH reerea rue and gscEs r
- 'unocsntfv asked :.
fvhafz ne 5arkr Ean cre-fas - - =
CSC. SAID Jack exa efrx wfa
@ laa2nfsr r dropped @
srer ns1nt down fhe 49,