The Savannah morning news., 1901-08-14
DR.. Lyons
PERFECT
Tooth Powder
Used by people of refinement
for over a quarter Of century.
FABLES OF THE FUTURE.
The Village Cut-up and the Tight
Rope Walker.
From the Boston Post.


From the Boston Post.
In Beaverton, there lived a Man who
Considered himself the Whole Pudding.
When Young he haa been as far
West as Chicago, running the Side
Show for a No-Account Circus, and
later on he had Spent some Time in
Auburn for Marrying a Woman when
he already had a Wife.
That was as Far Along as he had
ever Got, but it was Further Along
than Any of the Rest ever Expected
to Get. Therefore, he had Planned it
Out that he was the Main Stem.
The Villagers Sized him All Right.
but they knew he could Beat Out any
one of Them in Talk, so they Let him
Alone and stood Pat. Behind his Back
they would speak of him as a Dub and
a Slob, but when they Addressed him
they Usually called him Mister.
He was Something like Eben Holden.
with the Quaintness thrown out, and
spent his Time sitting around on the
Porch of the Only Hotel. Every Even
ing after Supper, when a large enough
Crowd of Loafers had Congregated. he
would Set Fire to a Whirlwind Cigar.
Cross his Legs, Spit over the Railing
and tell 'em what he would Do If he
wuz President, By Gum.
In fact, he was the Village Cut-Up.
One Day Bum Variety Show struck
the Town, including a Couple of Dutch
Comedians, a Trick Bicyclist and a
Tight Rope Dancer. They Camped Out
around the Village Pump, and after be-
ing Offered the Beer and Their 1Gx-
penses to the Next Place. they Prom
Used to Perform that Evening.
Some of the Boys who helped Peg
Down the Tent came back and told
what a Peach the Tight Rope Tripper
must have been in Days Gone By.
However, that was Many Years Ago.
Put her in a Supper Show with Plen-
ty of Paint, no Calcium Lights, and
Six Cherry Sisters behind her. and she
would have Shown Up fair. But. take
her Off the Stage, and she looked like
a Barbed- Wire Fence hit by Light
ming.
Now il was a Well-Known Fact
that the Village Cut-Up was First in
Everything, and when he Heard about
this Beautiful Creature, he decided 1t
was up to him to give her First
Class Feed consisting of Fried Fish,
Frogs Legs and Chicken at the Only
Hotel He wished to Show that there
the Same Time he cuold Win Out at
Fifty Cents a Throw.
Accordingly, he went Home and put
his Watch in Hook for the Price of
Front Row Seat, and the Coming Life
Saving Act Then he Dressed himself
in his Red Socks. Humming Shirt,
Green Necktie, Checker Board Suit,
tied his Watch Chain to his Keys so
that it would be Conspicuous, and
Started Out to do Things.
After taking a few Stiff Bracers. he
| got to his Chair just as the Show was
in Full Blast. The Has-Been Fairy
! was doing stunts on the Wire, and the
! Village Cut-Up threw enough Goo
! Go Eyes to knock her from her Perch.
Every time she looked at him, he would
Swell Up and Smile, then he would
turn around and see if the Rest of the
Bunch were On.
Along towards the End the Audience
began to leave, and finally the Happy
Thought was the Last in the Joint.
A stray Kid who Rubbered till Late
on the Outside of the Tent told Next
Morning how he had seen the Cut-Up
hanging about the Side Door.
This was All the Villagers could find
Out.
Two Days late the Cut-Up Appeared
with a Hang Dog Expression, and a
Beaut Pair of Black Peppers, resem-
bling the Sunset on Niagara Falls.
From then on, the Inhabitants put him
on the Shelf, and he gradually sank
into the Mud.
Some time Afterwards there was
Printed a Column in the Weekly Bud
get telling how the Variety Show bust
ed up at Clayville, and the Tight Rope
Dancer had gone Home to his Wife.
Moral: Only take the Genuine.