Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-08-04
Ince. Ye raymimber Gomez. Ye re-

tn leg iv SCORPION an piece iv su-
gar cane, an offer him tn freedom Nv
Moo York whin tn war was over.
Well, he whit to Moo York las week
this George Wash'nton iv tn Ant Hills.
He was met at tn ferry-boat be ray
porther that twishted his head around
to take phottygraft iv him an called
him Nanny an said he looked like
Mike Feely, tn alderman iv tn third
ward, on'y darker. A comfy iv seegar
makers waited on him an asst him to
jine their unions an that was all tn
honors he had. Freedom iv tn city,
says ye? Oh, he got that, an all Nv
that. He was free to go an come with
out anybody payin' amy attintion TO
him. lie was as free as tn air, because
tn polls didn't know him. If they'd
known, he nightly been locked up.
AN now it's Schley's turn. | knew
it was comm to Schley an here 1t
comes. Ye used to think he was
gran man, that whin OF Cerveera come
out iy tn harbor at Sandago called out
Come on, boys an plunged into TIL
Spanish fleet an royjooced it to scrap
iron. That's what ye thought an
that's what l thought an we were
wrong. We were wrong, Hinnissy.
I've been r-readin' a thrue history Nv
tn campaign be wan iv tn gr-reatest
historyians now employed as clerk
in tn supply stores iv tn Brooklyn
navy yard Like mesilf, he's fireside
vethran iv tn war. He's a mimber Nv
tn Martin Dooley Post No. l, DEFENDERS
iv tn Hearth He's tn boy FIR We. II
liver he beats his sugar scoop into tn
soord, ye'll think oil Farragut was
lady cook on lumber barge. Says tn
historyian: The conduck of Schley
durin' tn campaign was such as to
bring tn bright blush Nv shame to lvry
man on tn pay roll iv our beloved
country. 'Tis well known that whin
ordered be tn gallant Jawn D. Long
to lave Hampton Roads, he thried to
jump overheard an swim ashore. He
was chloryformed an KEEP under
matches till tn ship was off tn coast
iv Floridy. Whin he come to, he faint
ed at tn sight iv Spanish ditchnry an
whin midshipman whit by with box
iv Castiel soap, he fell on tn deck
writhin in fear an exclaimed: TIL
war is over I'm shot Off Cyenfoo-
goose. he see a starvin' reconcenthrado
on tn shore an cried out: There's Ger
veera. Tell him to come on boord an
accept me soord.' He was knocked
down by a belayin' pin in tn hands iv
th' gunners mate an carried to San
dago. With tn catiff wretch an cow'rd
see brave Cerveera comm out iv tn
harbor, he r-run up tn signal: Cease
firm. I'm a prisoner OWN to tn
profanity iv dauntless Bob Ivans, which
was arisin' in dark purple column at
tn time, Cerveara cud not see this rec
reent message an attimpted to r-run
away. TIL American admiral followed
him like tn cow'rd that he was de-
scribin' leep that I'd dhraw FIR ye if
tn head-book- keeper'd lind me PIN
Gil, an rammin' tn Ioway, tn Matsa-
choosetts an tn Oregon. His face was
FRED with fear an he cried in voice
that cud be heard tn length iv tbs
ship: He don't see tn signal,
I've surrindered Cerveera. I'm done.
l quit. I'm all n. Come an take me
soord an cut off me buttons. Boys, fire
a few iv thin eight-inch shells an at
thract his attintion. That was a good
wan. Give him some more. Run
alongside and ram MIN if nicissry.
Rake him fore an aft. There goes his
biler. Now, perhaps he'll take notice.
Great hivins, we're lost! He's sinkin'
befure we can surrinder. Get out me
dlvin' SCOT, boy, an I'll go afther him
an capitulate. Oh, war is a tur-rble
thing! l have attimpted to be fair with
Admiral Schley. If I'm not, it's his
own fault, an mine. l can only add
that it's tn opinyion iv all tn boys in
tn store that he ought to be hanged,
drawn, quarthered, burnt at tn stake
an billed in oil as a catiff, cow'rd an
thraitor. 'Tis good thing FIR tn
United States that me frind Sampson
come back at tn fright moment an
with few well-directed wurruds to a
hillygraft operator, secured tn victhry.
or Loop-tn loops was found lynn head
first in a coal bunker an whin pulled
out be tn legs, exclaimed, Emanuel,
don't shoot me. I'm Spanish spy in
disgeese.'
so they've arristed Schley. AS soon
as tn book come out tn sicrety iv tn
navy issued a warrant again him,
chargin' him with ,victhry, an he's go
in to have to stand thrile FIR it. l
don't know what tn punishment is, but
it's somethin hard FIR tn offinse is on
usu'l. They're sure to bounce him an
maybe they'll give his job to Cerveera.
AS far as I can see, Hinnissy. an | cud