Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-03-27


riedly." "Yes; he lost control Of his
automobile. Eek.
She-Did you ever take part in anna
teur theatricals? He-Once; but I'm all
right now.-Town Topics.
what do you think of man who
overdraws his bank account2' ut
isn't much to his credit.'-Town Top
les.
One of His Friends-Does he write
for publication? Another-Oh, mol
Merely for circulation among the edit
ors.-Puck.
Caddie lin stage whisper to Bifin,
who is frightfully nervous) Don't you
get nervous, sir! It's all right; I've
told every one of lem you can't play!-
Punch.
Housekeeper-l'd just like to know
why you go tramplng through the coun-
try? Mouldy Niike-Well, mum, I've
heard that these ERE palace cars is
rather stuffy. mum.
Mrs. Gallagher Rumors fly. don't
they, Missis Flanagan: Mrs. Flanni-
gan-Indade they do; awnly this week
wan left meswidout payin' his rints-
Columbus Ohio State Journal.
Accommodating old man: Hell ask
ed your fathers consent by telephone.
She-What was his answer? He-He
said: II don't know who you are, but
it's all right. Harvard Lampoon.
Mamma plying the strap There.
there, and there! Now, don't let me
catch you in the pantry again. Tommy
Boo! hoo! tried not to let you catch
me this time.-Philadelphia Record.
The romances of history: And what
did the teacher say when johnny Coop
said that Richard Curvel discovered
American 'He said johnny shouldn't
take those historical novels SO serious
ly."-Baltimore American.
A Writer'S Aspirations: They were
looking through the library. "If you
had the divine gift, what would you
rather writeY" asked the romantic
young woman. Cheeks" replied the
sordid young man.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Lady-Well, what do you want?
Tramp-Leddy, believe me, I'm no or
binary bcggar. was Mt the front
Lady with INTEREST," Really Tramp
Yes, ma'am; but l couldn't make any
body hear, so came round to the back.
Punch.
Mir. Johnsing-Am yo' sho' yo' kin
suppoht nah daughtah in de style to
which she hab been accustomed? Mr..
White-Yes, sab; but OBJ cou'se we'll
hab to lib wifi yo' fo' a yeah or SO, till /
git well acquainted VIII de style yo'
speak oh.
Aikson-What are you doing for your
grip? Paynes Nothing. My wife says
it's providentlal I've got it. Twice since
l caught 1t my coughing and sneezing
in the middle of the night have scared
burglars away from the house.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Social Rivalry: Has your wife much
social ambition?" Social ambition!
When she read about Lady Curzon's
elephant party in India, she said II she
knew where she, could rent some
whales, she'd givea whale party. De-
troit Free Press.
Patrick was true son of Erin, al.
ways happy. aud always rendy for his
joke. One days farmer In passing him
shouted. good humoredly: bad luck
to you, Patrick! Good luck to you,
SIR" was Pats answer, "and may nay
Their of us be right"
The Cake Fell: Mrs. Newlywed-l
had horrid luck with my cake. Mrs.
Binthare-roo Dad-did 1t fall2 Mrs.
Newlywed- Yes; l placed 1t on the WIN
dow-ledge to cool, and my husband,
either by accident or design. pushed 1t
off."-Cleveland State Journal
Where is Josiar!" asked Mrs Corn
tossel uneasily. "Well,' answered her
husband, rs lie proceeded to fill his
pipe, II won't say fur certain. If the
ice is as strong as he thinks 1t is. he's
gone skatin': and ii 1t amt, he's gone
swimmin'. "-Washington Star.
Those Dear Girls: Tess-Mamma
was rummaging through the attic to-
day, and she found the cradle used
when | was baby; size was going to
throw 1t out, but wouldn't let her.
Jess-I should say not; antiques are all
the rage Philadelphia Press.
Sadly Overrated: ".rhat city man
that was visiting ME is an overrated
cuss," remarked the farmer. How
so!" "Oh, the papers all said he was
a great hand at watering stock, but
found lie couldn't work the pump Ave
minutes without laming his ARM
Chicago Evening Post.
Fooling the Cabman: He had Just
got home at in the morning. after a
long drive ''Stop bit, cabman," he
said; you must wait until bring
light; I've dropped a $40 bill somewhere
in the bottom of your cab" The cab
man drove off furiously-but he didn't
find the money.-Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. lie Jecks-Well, Miss Coldcash, 1
suppose you received a good many
birthday cards? Miss Coldcash sweet
ly)--Oh, yes; and there was one partic-
ularly dainty and artistic. I'm sure it
came from you. MIR. lie .Jecks delight.
ed)-What makes you think so? Miss
Coldcash- Because sent 1t to you on
your last Observation-Disclosures.
Let me congratulate you ON your
charming playing, Miss Bangs" said
the new next-door neighbor, who had
dropped in: II heard you at the piano
for several hours this afternoon. Was
that Wagner You We're playing?" "Oh,
dear, no." iuttered Miss Bangs with a
litter, that was the piano-tuner."-
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin
Spanish Titles for Sale.
All agent In Paris is sending out a
circular marked "confidentialn tn rich