The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-02-02

-A1A414 before the ngnlIHS was ONefsdA1I
inns luea took such firm possession of
him that the sense Of time left him.
and when Dale pronounced him out OF
danger IL seemed to him that the opera
ton had taken place no longer ago than
the day before
He had no difficulty in persuading
Dale to get him certified as 1T for duty,
on IN obtaining permission from the war
office 70 start at once for the Cape in
order to rejoin his regiment at the front.
He found himself in good company on
board the Tantal1on Castle, for troops
We're still being sent out to Africa, and
old friends, all of them in high spirits
at the prospect of active service after
long spell Of idleness at home
As it turned out it was very active
service indeed. and Gilbert had many
opportunities Of distinguishing himself
With the capitulation Of Pretoria, how
ever, the campaign came to an end. and
his regiment was one of the first to
come home again.
It was with light heart, Gilbert told
himself, that he was setting out on
the voyage home. for he was down for
the Victoria Cross, as well as for pro-
motion, and Margaret had written out
to say that she was 50 proud of him
that she was willing to let their mar
riage take place Immediately after his
return.
But was he, after ALL as happy as he
should be2
1t was with many searchfngs of the
heart that Gilbert asked himself that
question On the way home.
Within a few days of his arrival the
dream Of all his later life would become
reality yet as ne told himself that this
was so he was conscious that there was
no enthusiasm, no responsive throb in
his heart, and before the voyage was
over he realized with a sense of dumb
misery that the thought of Margaret
no longer had the power to stir him as
of old, could no longer rouse within him
the fire which always hitherto the very
3 NJ f1ay@ 17HI
What was it, what was the matter
with hin2 he asked himself a hundred
times a day.
He had seen no other woman since he
and his promised wife had parted less
than three months before, had dreamt of
no other woman in that tender relation.
toward him save Margaret; yet over her
fair face heart and intellect were at
war within him.
Intellect still loved her, called her by
every endearing name, dwelt on the soft
music of her voice, recalled each tone
and look, and saw again the loyelight
in her sweet gray eyes.
Heart was cold and sceptica1 and un-
moved by any of these imaginative rap
lures.
what on earth is the matter with
me2o he asked himself. T seem to be
able to watch this struggle between two
of my inner selves just as one does in
dreams sometimes, when the. Ego seems
to detach itself and become lnpeTsonaI.
I wonder what old Macpherson put in
side my head when he took that t1lnor
outl Upon my word, believe I'm going
mad after air.
BY the time the Ilivadia reached
Southampton he was in a fever to see
Margaret once more, and fight the
struggle out with her
Perhaps the sight of her. the touch Of
her hands, of her lips would put him
right again But if not, if these doubts
still assailed him, why he must frankly
tell her 50.
After all, the change which he feared
had taken place in him might be inn
aginary.
He had gone through a good deal dur
ing these last few months and the ex-
element Of a campaign pushed forward
at express speed, IN order to strike
final and decisive blow, had no doubt
contributed in some measure toward un-
Ringing him.
When he ahghted at Waterloo he had
almost persuaded himself that his
substantial than the unwelcome memo
ries Of a bad dream, and when he found
himself in the train once more on the
way to the AGoors he was within an ace
Of being his old, light-hearted self
again.
He had telegraphed the time Of his
arrival, and at the little wayside station
he found Margaret awaiting him, and
with q dull sense Of pain he realized
that the change in him was after all no
dream for he saw in Margaret's eyes
that she detected it even while greeting
him.
AS he took his seat beside her in the
phaetOn he found himself asking. al
most mechanically, how she had passed
the time, how General OrIne was. and a
dozen commonplace questions, her re-
plies to which were scarcely needed.
He saw her glance at him again and
again with pain and wonder in her eyes.
until at last 1t seemed that she could
bear it no longer.
Dearest" she said. very tenderly,
what is the matter? You are not your
self What is it?''
"Oh. my darling girl he groaned, II
don't know. I would give ten years of
my life to know what it is. I am only
conscious that since that operation some
subtle change has been in progress
within me. There are two souls at war.
To one, you are as dear as you ever
Were-nay, infinitely dearer. To the
other you are Indifferent. One soul
loves you still; the other soul does not
know you as my Margaret at all, as my
betrothed. and, heaven help me, Mar
garet, but between the two think am
going madF
MY poor boyl' said Margaret. ssyou
want rest and quiet. We will put off
our wedding-indefnite if you wish,
and you shall stay at the Manor and I
will nurse you back to health and
strength again."
He shook his head gIoonafly, and they
spoke no more Of these intimate con-
Germs.
The General was delighted to welcome
his daughters lover home again. and
expressed no wonderment when Mar
garet told him that Gilbert was feeling
the effects of the campaign. and that
the wedding would therefore be post
poned.
The next two or three days passed
quietly and uneventfully; save for Mar
garet's unfailing tenderness, they would
have passed for Gilbert very sadly, for
as the hours went by he became mourn
fully. conscious that the joy Of being
with the woman he had so fondly loved
was growing less and less.
TIe woke late on the Sunday morning,
and the sunlight streaming through his
window gave him strange but bIissfuI