New-York tribune., 1901-10-23
THE CRIME OF CELIBACY.
THOSE STATES WHICH CANNOT BE RE-
STRAINED FROM LEGIsLATING.

\ dispatch published in these columns few
days ago told OF the measures taken by the In
terror Department to promote matrirnony among
the Indians Of the Ponca and Otoe tribes. The
agent catches the men who refuse or neglect to
marry and claps them into JAIL where they stay
till they realize the fallacy of Richard Lovelaces
theory that stone walls do not prison make
nor iron bars a cage, and brought to
more reasonable frame of mind with regard TO
their own welfare and desires. AS the squaws
seem delighted with the arrangement, 1t is OBJ
viously just and useful one. Laws aimed
against bachelors and intended to encourage
matrmony have more thar once been proposed
in some OF the Western assemblies given TO fool
legislation, but no decisive experiment has ever
been made To accept man as husband. not
because he wants TO be her husband. but be-
cause the law says that ne must be somebody's
husband, may be pleasing TO a Ponca maiden
but il does not SAVIOR OF Anglo-Saxon spirit. and
II such law were once made in a civilized COM
munity II would be to meet with it's strong
est opposition from women.
The expression Of frantic desire for the IN
discriminate marriage of everybody usually pro-
ces ds from married women. and they invariably
place all the blame on the bachelors. The
proposition that the continued ceIIbacy OF GER
tain persons OF both sexes is entirely the fault
of the bachelors necessarily implies the corollary
that woman ever refused offer Of mar
riage. a supposition insulting TO woman
hood as the whole argument is impertinent and
meddlesome Similarly, any Law aiming TO pun
ism bachelors fer being is manifestly unjust
unless accompanied by law 10 punish spinsters
for refusing any offer Of marriage.
The danger in the present action OF the In
terror Department is that IT will be initiated by
some of the aforesaid makers of fool legislation.
No law could be sillier but law is too silly
for the Western fool legislature, and, therefore
a suggestion is here offered for making such
law as little unjust as possible For man
who would propose such law for civilized
State could possibly know enough to draw
bill. \ model for such a bill is. therefore
offered:
AN ACT TO MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY.
BE it enacted by the Senate and General AS
sembly of the State of --.
Section l. Every bachelor more than twenty
five years old shall be guilty of a msdemeanor.
and shall be confined hard labor until he
shall produce evidence OF a bona fide marriage
engagement and shall declare his intention of
fulfilling the same forthwith
Sec - Any spinster who shall decline any
offer OF marriage shall be guilty of a misde-
meanor and shall be subject to the pun
ishment provided for the bachelor IN Sec
tion 1.
Sec. 3 In order that the criminal classes shall
have opportunities for reform. any prisoner con-
victed under this act shall be permitted to at
tend any social gathering accompanied by a
deputy sheriff Social assemblies shall also be
held in every prison or Jail. under the direction
of the warden, at least three times a week, and
at these all prisoners shall be present and the
warden shall invite such spinsters from outside
the prison Jail he shall see fit. Any
spnster who shall receive such an invitation
and shall fail TO be present shall be guilty OF
contempt of court
Sec. 4. To offset any prejudice against marry
ing a convict the state treasurer shall pay from
the funds in the treasury not otherwise ap
proprated to every couple contracting
riage, either one of whom shall be a convict, the
of 81 and TO every couple both of whom
shall be convictS the sum of 81.
Sec. D. The prison commissioners shall have
power to condemn and tailS any or all
hotels and private dwelling houses
This law is calculated to untold misery.
but it is thorough. and, If enforced would
complish just what many persons of un-
doubtedly good intentions desirous to
complish. There other good intentions
in the world so we'll calculated to make firm
and solid pavements as those which rife on
this subject.