News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1901-02-20
ROOSEVELT'S OUTING.


and Bears---EnjOying Himself
Before Facing Austere
United States
Senators.
The following article is by "Gra-
pho," a regular contributor to the
Advance, a religious paper printed at
Chicago. The Observer has had its
Irenaes, the Evangelistitsg gifted Hen
ry NJ. Field, the Christian at Work
its Talmage, and the Advance has
now it's GRAPHIC. He cuts right and
left, at times sarcastic, at other times
he takes the style of critic, frequently
,admonitive and instructive. Thefol-
lowing is readable, whether all the
facts are free from color or not.
We have a new vice president. He
is most strenuous man. lie has
been whipping wild cats, and men
agerie OF other animals.
1t is pretty story, and thrilling.
Knowing that after he raps the Unit
ed States Senate to order on the
fourth of March next he will have
small opportunity for strenuousness,
that he will be compelled to sit and
look wise, not even being permitted
to talk back to saucy Republican
Senator or to squelch beliigerent
Democrat, he determined to have a
last big fling. Therefore he went out
to Colorado, where there were Others.
He might have stopped at Denver
and tried his hand on "Tom" Patter-
son who was on the point of putting
an end to "Ed" Wolcott's senatorial
career. but he didn't. He was look
ing for bigger game. So he went on
into the mountains where there were
signs of strenuous doings in the past,
where volcanoes made the earth
groan and ripped up the backs of the
hills, and warning Titans hurled
boulder at one another from oppo-
site sleeps, where the sunlight loses
its path in deep gorges and wild tan
glewood, and owls make calls at mid
day. 1t is one of the last hiding
places in America for that class of an
finals which are too strenuous to get
on with advancing civilization.
Here the vice president turned loose
the "dogs of war and newspaper re-
porter" The hounds soon struck a
trail. 1t was hot, as hot as the trail
at the Philadelphia convention. The
dogs got right down to business and
made as much noise as if a master of
political ceremonies was ordering
them to whoop it up. In fifteen min
utes, more or less, they had the
game up tree. That was where the
governor wanted it. He got Boss
Platt up tree once, and enjoyed the
experience. 1t was a wild cat, and
this stimulated the governors siren
uousness. Here was chance to get
even with the whole cat tribe for all
the discordant serenades that had
disturbed the slumbers of his whole
strenuous life. The cat also had his
back up about something, and his
tail was spread out like anexpansion
policy.
"He shows fight" says the govern
or to the guide; 81 wonder if he
knows who | am"
81 don't believe he Does" replied
the guide. eff he knew that you we're
the original Rough Rider and had
whipped the Spanish army he would
hunt for his hole"
When the cat heard this remark he
began to look sick.
II am Colonel Roosevelt" shouted
the strenuous hunter.
Then the cat wilted.
"You are soaring him to death, "
said the guide. You better shoot
before he drops to the ground and
breaks his neck and spoils the fun"
The vice president pulled the trig-
ger just as the cat was leaving the
limb and the bullet and beast met in
mid air. The bullet had the best of
it and the animal was catalogued
first in the list of victims. The re-
porter made bee line for the railroad
station and telegraphed to the news
papers of the country and the princi-
pal journals of Europe, Asia and Al
RIGA. The colonel sat down on a pro-
jecting crag, took out pad of paper,
unbuckled fountain pen, and began
to write a book on "How | Killed a
Wild Cat"
The dogs not having much literary
taste got tired and went off into the
woods. Then there was yelp, fol-
lowed by the believing answer of the
whole pack of hounds. 1t was big
game this time, mountain lion, and
the lion was scared. He ran like a
Republican candidate for Congress in
aPennsylvania district. But the siren
uousness in the rear was too much
for him. He had to come to bay.
When the governor approached, the
lion showed his teeth. So did the
governor. The lion looked foolish.
He wss beaten at his own game: he
had never seen such show of teeth.
not even at midnight meeting OF
lions.
How are you going to do him I'D. -
asked the guide. "With a speech or
with your gum"
II think I'll try a speech on him., -
replied the governor. "That is what
l used on the Tammany tiger"
"Idon't think you BETTER" said the
guide; "bullets are more persuasive
out here in the Rockies"