The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-11-27
NEW THIRD READER STORY.
Story Of Androcles Fixed Up to Suit
Modern Tastes.


Josh Wink in Baltimore American.)
John II. Androcles was a slave.
It is not known what newspaper he
worked on.
Yes. children, a man who works on a
newspaper is slave. If you do not be-
lieve IT. listen to some of the men who
mold opinion as they tell Of their priva-
lions and hardships while eating their
bohemian lunches.
How many little boys and girls know
what a bohemian lunch is?
That is right A chew of tobacco and
a drink of water forms the greater part
of a bohemian lunch- The rest of it is
conversation.
Mr.. Androcles lived about 1900 years
ago. Consequently, he is dead now. This
shows what bohemian lunches will do for
a man.
Had John II. Androcles lived properly
ne might have been today the oldest in
habitant of his &tive town, and he
would by actual count, have been able
to have told this lion story $4,000 times,
making due allowance for holidays. but
also counting double for circus days,
when ne would have told it twenty
times.
one day Androcles grew weary of work
and decided to run away. In those days
a man did not need to be a Pat Grove
in order to run away with success He
had no end of places to run away to. He
need only go a short hike from the city
limits to be beyond the pale of civiliza-
ton
Which scholar can tell the teacher
what the pale of civilization is?
Correct again!
Never forget the full dinner pail.
On bright and frosty morning in No
vember, 1901, John H. AndrOcles might
have been seen waiting for a street car
at the corporation line of Rome. Had he
continued waiting he would have been
on the same spot today. for. alasl street
cars then did not run much better when
a. man wanted them than they do now.
Finally, he grew tired of waiting for
the car. and concluded that If he was
going to run away he might as we'll walk.
When he had reached the tall timber
he was greatly surprised to see lion
coming toward him.
This sight IS usually guaranteed to sur
prise anybody.
The mere fact that the lion is not a
native, nor indigenous, to Rome has
nothing to do with the story. 1t is per
Missile to stick in an animal at any
time OF place where IL will add to the
general effect Of narrative
Bear this in mind, children, and you
can get up a wild animal scare almost
any time.
The lion held up his paw to Mr.. An
drOcles, and that gentleman observed
that a large splinter was sticking there
Il
opened his travellers medicine chest
ChlOrOfOTmed the animal, extracted the
thorn, applied antiseptics and bandaged
the paw.
When the lion came to it slapped An
drOcies on the shoulder and Jared his
lungs considerably in its efforts to con-
vey its thanks. Then it went away and
brought back some nice, fresh natives for
their breakfast.
It was not long, however. until andre
rstc MIN n 70 Fna 20
Rome to make a Roman holiday. When
ever they had a holiday in Rome during
the times we are now mentioning the life
and accident insurance business had a
collapse.
The jury was out but a few minutes
in the AndrOcles case, and returned a
verdict Of guilty, with a sentence that
he be eaten by a lion.
Why2 Do you ask
Well. how on earth is this story going
to come out properly If AndrOcles does
not go on the menu for the lion2
Sc. one bright afternoon the entire pop
ulatiOn Of Rome assembled at the amphi-
theatre to see John H AndrOcles benevo-
lently assimilated.
Androcles stood in the center of the
arena, where the kinetoscOpe people could
get a good focus, and. with an air OF
bravado, garnished himself with catsup
from one of the fifty-seven varieties bot
tied which he had been induced 10 carry
with him by the owner Of the advertising
privileges.
Judge of the surprise. not to say dis
appointment, of the audience when the
lion refused absolutely to eat AndrocIes.
but insisted upon playing around him and
licking his hands. For il was the same
lion that he had encountered on the
morning that he ran away.
Of course there was nothing TO do but
to give him the animal and let him go
free. And for years thereafter the John
H. AndrOcles Astounding Aggregation of
MeSatherian, Marvellous, Colossal Con
giOmerated and Combined Circus and
Menagerie was prime favorite with the
people of that land.
This teaches US that it is best not to
run away from home without framing up
a spectacular return. Otherwise the
home folks viii choose somebody else for
a favcrite son