New-York tribune., 1901-03-22
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

'The Pan-AmerIcan nag says The Buffalo
Commercial" bears the significant word PAX
CPeaceD and the date 1901. II was borne in upon
the exposition officals this week that the average
man is not a Latin scholar and that PAN Is no
better than Greek TO him. When the sample flag.
built according specifications. was brought I'm To
the purchasing agent he remarked with surprise
that the word was dssected follows p A X
Why hav. you separated the letters? he asked.
why. said the hagman. the letters mean
'Pan-American Exposition" and the periods are
all right
Il own w. Judge I hit him with picket I
snatched from a fence and ne curled up Ike sick
What had he done that tempted you to commit
much John d Rockefeiier's income was a minute g
discharged "-tCleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas boy serving in the Philippines writes
home to his mother: Il can't say that like the
Philippines as well as Kansas but the islands are
much better than | expected Don't worry about
me, for am in good health and all right. II get
killed in the open in fair fight in the cause of my
country. l shall not care; but if am murdered by
one Of the sneaking bolomen who lurS in the grass
like snakes, will regret 1t all of my life"
wife-Here comes a friend of mine. Let's turn
into this side street until she passes
HusbandIQuarrelled with her?
No. but don't want you to see her
I know youl admire that new dress of hers.
ous fuss you made over the hills for this cheap
thing I've got on."-(New-York Weekly.
The Rev DR. spalding of Syracuse said in a
recent sermon: God pity the man who cannot
laugh If could have my way would so to a
play week and a circus a month"
Sir Henry Howorth who was formerly member
search, for his History OF the Mongols' took many
years ..ond OF stfady 9nd ardnous ,o,, nqniry
regard to this & work Ore evening" while taking in
his great subject there was strange conversation
II understand. Sir Henry" the lady said. that
yon are fond OF dogs; so am IT,
Dogs. madam" VS. the reply. Il really must
IndeSd And they told S'' me You A had ID @ Written
famous history of mongrels''- YorlSshre Post
A firm in Woiverhampton. England. recently re-
ceived business letter from West Africa. which
closed rs follows: But before you can do good
enough to me in meantime to send me a very large
assortment Of samples. beads. woollen. cotton
yarns to BILE send i'm my new orders
conclude with 10000 kisses and prodigous greet
ing to you an
Mr.. Ascurn-I hear your old minister has gone in
Mr.. Lochurch (disgustedlyp-Yes he's gone wrong
Mr.. Ascum-How can YOU say that? He's all
rite now.-(ihiadelphta Press
Justice Wills of tho most capable and popu-
lar judges on the English bench is a great stick
Ter for the dignity of the court. On one occasion
assize verdict received with considerable
applause. and his lordship pointing the women's
gallery instructed the police to bring down that
lady in the red dress The woman. in the midst
Of a chilly silence in court. was brought before
him and sternly rebuked for clapping her hands
Madame said Justice Wills. do you think this is
q theatre?'
Spendall-I gave YOU that s. as a friendly Tin
Why do you hand 81 back? f'
Waiter-I likes TO keep everything on business
basis sab. Gents wot's very friendly Wen dev
has money is apt to come round tryin To borrer
Wen dey gets broke.-iNew-York Weekly.
1t is reported that some of the Staten Island
ferryboats more than forty years old. Have
they not earned an honorable retirement with peace
and rest for the last stage of their senility?
THEORY AND PRACTICE.
'Tis by the things that make tired
That chiefly blest
For il twere for these ne'er
Should know the bliss of rest.
These lines the poet wrote and sold
Them quickly he could,
And with the coin thus got he hired
A TO saw his wood
-tDetrot Journal.