Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1901-02-14
ArcH,soN GLOBE SIGHTS.
Com mi uts on Everyday Matters by an
Original Genius.

Com me0to on EVeTyu~J
Original Genius.
The plain. ordinary man Is a gooo
deal better than the ideal man.
Put your name in your umbrella anu
nine out Of ten people who hnd II VIII
return it.
In dealing with the men. the women
should lay aside clubs. and try tears
and honey.
After man becomes old, times hies
30 fast that the monthly magazines De-
come dailics.
1t Is fortunate for most people that
salaries are not regulated by their use
Of saw and seen.
We know Il man who owns an UNI
brella, and never raises it when there
10 rain or hot sun.
The women think they have right
to be consulted in every love aHalr
within five blocks.
When woman returns home from .
trim. and no one meets her ut the train,
1t breaks her heart.
No woman truly loves man unless
she laughs ut his jokes, and really
thinks they are funny.
When there Is a rain after a long dry
spell, every church member claims that
his church prayed for 1t.
To get into a story book, q girl must
be either a winsome little blonde. or q
cold. statuesque brunette.
When q woman remains cheerful IN
getting over a love affair, 1t Is a sign
she is starting in on another.
When a guest refuses dessert, the ap-
plause Of the children at the table 10
sincere. though it may be silent.
There is only one excuse for buying
On credit: the hope that the merchant
will forget to charge your purchase.
A woman does not make as much OF
her troubles as she might unless she
speaks Of the Iron entering her SOUL"
The LATEST man in every country
town rides to the depot at least once
q day with the driver Of the hotel bus.
There seems to be as little excuse for
some people as there is for weeds and
bugs; and they are as hard to get rid or
1t Is the hardest thing in the world
to give an old maid good time after
she has settled down to travelling in
q rut.
The day after girl gets her engage
ment ring, she goes down town with
her mother to look at muslins and en-
broideries.
When 1t is necessary to test the sin.
cerity of a church members desire to
do good, she is sent out to solicit sub
scriptions for church social.
There are many beautiful things In
the world, but none of them compare
with a young dining room girl wear
Ing a white dress and blue sash.
When you give boy nickel. he
usually reaches for 1t with his left
hand. and his mother says: (which
hand?" and "What do you sayY"
II a girl is seven, and her father
calls the piano hers in joke, she re.
members u Wueu SUI udTIlcS tWcutJ
years later, and steals 1t from her sis
tiers.
A woman. to please a man, should
tell him early and late that she is only
. poor. weak foolish thing, and he will
have no trouble In remaining an idol II
he confesses and repents once every
day.
1t Is funny, but in reading, women
fairly gloat over a heroine who meets
the hero, both fall in love without intro
duction and are married. while in real
life the average woman will scream II
her daughter speaks to man she has
met every day in ten years. but to
whom she has not been introduced.
When you sit on porch in the even.
ing, and rip open your neighbors, and
put salt in their wounds, you do not
hurt your neighbors, but you do give
the impression that you have q low
malicious nature. Try speaking we'll
Of people. They enjoy it, and kindness
will do you no harm. You can find
something commendable in everyone
Of your acquaintance.