The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-01-25

Frederick Hale 81 New York. The 8 CO. :.
| incidence has given rise to numberless
ludicrous incidents and an endless lot Or
explaining. ''
Champ Clark of Missouri, on recent
lccturins tour through a growing West
ern state, was invited as special mark
Of appreciation to attend meeting Of
the Business Mems association. The
city was new and very proud of every
thing it did. including the waterworks,
electric lighting plant and telephone sys-
tenn; Among the recent innovations was
a charity committee. While Mr.. Clark
was present this committee held a meet
ing. One member was telling of the
necessity for relieving the suffering in
the town, when another, according to
Mr.. Clark, overcome with the Importance
of the committee and glad there were poor
in the town to be relieved. jumped to is
and shouted:
''Three cheers for the poor:"'
Secretary Long has an alarm clock on
a mantel in front of his desk at his Office
in the navy department., which he regu-
has made. He IS very particular about
keeping appointments. and is slow to OK
cuse others who are not so punctual.
Ii the secretary has agreed to call at
the white house at 5 o'clock the little
timepiece will strike FIVE times when the
hands of the clock indicate 4:3O. The
secretary at once begins to clear up the
business on his desk so that he may meet
the President Oh the minute.
Until the explanation was made there
were wicked people who said that the
secretary kept the clock half an hour fast
in order that Ne might glance at it and
say. Dear me, l had no idea it was so
1otr - whom q visitor wac hOrinv him
Senator Vest and Representative Amos
Cummings were fishing from launch off
the coast of Florida and Senator Vest
caught Il stingaree. Cummings took it
off the hook for the senator and threw it
ON the shore where it thrashed about for
time, getting weaker and weaker.
rec. dropped down, ana sat on a branch
of a bush near by. contemplating it with
greedy eyes. Senator Vest did not say
anything for long time. Finally Cum
mings asked:
Senator, what are you thinking
about?"
Amos" replied the senator. in his
high, raspy voice, do you see that buz-
card watching that stingaree? Well,
that reminds me of Missouri, where there
are a couple of political buzzards sitting
by watching, a stingaree known as
George vest.
A public man hates TO acknowledge that
he doesn't know the name of some other
public man. The expedients for discover
ing the name of the unknown one are as
great in number as the statesmen. But
Senator Burrows has as smooth a way as
any of his colleagues. The other day he
went to the navy department to see Sec
rotary Long, who is now in Massachu
sets.
Mr.. Long is in Massachusetts" one
of the clerks told him. and the assistant
secretary is in charge"
"Oh. how does he pronounce his
name:' said the senator, who evidently
had clear forgotten there was such man
as Hackett.
"Oh. all! yes; jest as it is spelled" OBJ
served the senator. The clerk had pro-
nounced the assistant secretary's name.
But he was able to greet Mr.. Hackett
with great corliality when he entered his
office.
The House Of Representatives is no
stranger to queer English, but the prize
specimen thus far this session is in
Il bill introduced by Representative Moo
dy of Massachusetts, ITO establish the
sleeping berth rights of passengers who
ride at night i'll ordinary. day cars
The first section reads thus: 'oThat
sengers during the night in day cars shall
allow such passengers to have sleeping
berths in said day cars. Where the
roads do not wish 20 attend to the mat
ter themselves they shall give contracts
and let out side parts of each car as on
night trains and provide so as to make
these people comforta BILE. so that what
ever prejudice or Partially there may be
on the part Of the railroad managers they
shall have no power or assume any power
to deprive the passengers of their right
to have the cheapest possible accommo-
dations OK the latest improvements"
legations in Washington are the envy Of
other hack drivers, because they are not
subject to police regulation and cannot
be moved about at the will Of the police.
Even at the theaters the police can do no
more than request drivers for the diplo-
mats to take their places in line, and the
drivers can do as they please about COM
plying.
Occasionally driver in the employ OF
one Of the foreign representatives who
may have grudge against the police for
some past experience will take advant
age Of his prerogative and purposely To-
cate his carriage where it will all but
block traffic.
At one time might liners gave the
police no end Of trouble by pretending to
be in the service of some minister or for
eign attache when caught violating hack
regulations. Because Of this imposition
all drivers for embassies and legations
were provided with badges. If the police
desire to make any complaint against
one of these protected drivers it must be
done through regular diplomatic channels.
There wasn't much hazing at the Ma
val academy while l was. there said
Capt. Carpenter of the Marine corps. al
though once in a while some funny thing
was done. remember one night when
| all the men in our dormitory were called
out into IN upper corridor to see what
the announcer said was to be the Grand
PriN de Paris
-Four big plebeS were led out. on their
| hands and knees and stark naked except
for towels laid across their backs and sad
dies. They were the thoroughbred
| horses. Then came four small plebes,
dressed in undershirts. drawers and caps
and wearing bright ribbon sashes. These
were the Jockeys. Each had hairbrush
for whip. Then came four upper class
men as owners and four more as train
erS. The little DlebeS were mounted OH