Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-02-19
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he can't help II. On, no; true poet
writes poetry because nobody can stop
him. Chicago Record.
Sunday School Teacher-Who is
meant by the father of lies? Johnny
with recent history in his mind)-Some
Chinee, l guess.-Baltimore American.
A Dreadful State of Affairs: He
Well. we can't believe more than half
we hear. She-Oh. worse than that;
can't believe more than half say
Liza.
is the boss in?" asked the stranger,
entering the drug stores NO replied
the absent-mlnded clelsS: shut we have
something just as good. - Yonkers
Statesman.
Corrected.-Lady Tourist doing. the
Cathedral of Scotland) This is Gothic,
isn't it, John? Juvenile vendor of
Guides" (severely)-No, mem; this is
Presby terian.-Punch.
Cause and Effect.-"No wonder Gill
sey is good natured. Everything comes
his way" Perhaps everything comes
his way simply because he is good ma
tured. Boston Transcript.
Jester-There's one good thing about
an ice trust-it can't afford to shut up
shop like the mill trust, for instance.
Jenkins-Why can't 1t? Jester--Why,
the iced melt.-Ohio State Journal
did you ever hear anything against
his honestly" NO suh," answered Mr..
Erastus Pinkley. But he eats chicken
mighty regular on Sunday an he's allus
got an umberell when it rains. Boston
Herald
Right in His Line.-"The first Ameri-
can to enter Pekin was a soldier-mu-
stefan who scaled the wall" "Well,
say, a musician ought to be an expert
on the scale, hadn't he?"-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
He lin his wrath)-When 1 married
you had no idea what fool you were.
She lin her equanimity)-The fact that
was willing to marry you should have
removed all doubts on that point.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Indignant Citizen.-"Don't drag
my name into print in connection with
this absurd affair."" cried the indignant
citizen; 'but if you do, be sure to spell
out my middle name in full."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
A Rise in Life: Casey-Since the
Hoolihans got rich l sh'pose they're
t'rowin' ON all kinds av shtOile. Muir
phy-I sh'd say so! They've changed
tn goats name to Nannette, bgob.-
Baltimore American.
"Stimson is a mean man." "Why
SOP Hes got a way of keeping his
wife from going through his pockets
for loose change" "How's that?" He
spends it all before he gets home."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Resting His Exchange Editor
1 am sorry to say my eyes have gone
back on me, and can't read any more.
Can't you give me something else to
do? Managing Editor-You might do
book reviews.-EXchange.
very ASSl dN ttIlLS w lIC-OIly uOCIOEs
will John pull through? Doctor-Can't
say, ma'am. The crisis will not arrive
for at least a week. Wife-Oh, dear!
And that bargain sale of mourning
goods ends to-morrow.-Judge.
Clark--I wonder how man feels
when he finds himself hopelessly bank
rupt. Clerk-Say didn't your wife
ever insist upon having the dress
maker in to make her fall clothes right
after getting home from the seashore?
Life.
Quickly d.-Friend-What was
your graduation essay about? Mabel
what the Astronomers Know About
Mars" Dear me! Why did you choose
that subiect2" Because didn't have
time to write much. New York
Weekly. ,. -.., s.s
The Cheerful Idiot: 81 wonder" said
the shoe-clerk boarder, "why they call
it mistletoe" at is so called because
the miss'll toe the mark every time she
sees a bit of it suspended it anywhere"
said the Cheerful diot.-Indianapolis
Press.
Tommy-pa, what does disagree"
mean? Pa-Well, when two people
think alike they are said to agree.
Now, you can guess what disagree"
means. Tommy-O, yes, that's when
only one people thinks alike.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Scandal: ''She seems to me one Of the
most distinguished-look young
women in Boston, "They tell dreadful
stories about her.. Indeed" Yes,
they say, for instance. that the lenses
of her spectacles are plain glass with
no magnifying power whatever."-De-
troit Journal.
"See here, Willetts, l hear a lot of
you young fellows have organized a
suicide club" You are the fourth
man to spring that remark on me. l
don't see how it started. All we have
done is to club together to do our own
cooking while our wives are away
indianapolis Press.
I'VE are just holding love feast"
said young Mr.. Linger, audaciously, to
Mr.. Frisbie, when that father of an
engaged daughter put his head in the
parlor doorway at 11:35 p. IN. Il
thought it must be a protracted meet
ing" said the old gentleman as he
withdrew-Harpers Bazaar.
Did you ever get religionY asked
tie revivalist. well, / should say so
-13S pounds of it." replied the man.
"a hundred and thirty-eight pounds Of
cried the reviyalist. How
did you get that?" The only way that
a good many men ever get religion"
was the reply. Il married it."-Chi-