The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-08-30
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know she isn't pretty?-New York
World. ="
"Dobley has at last painted picture
that will keep the wolf from the door,"
THAT so? Painted it on the door, did
he?"-Town Topics.
"a thoroughbred gentleman puts on
his clothes and then forgets them"
'"Ehat's what try to do; but my tailor
won't let me."-Chicago Record.
Client-Has a man a legal right to
open his wife's letters? Attorney
Certainly you have the right-but will
she allows it?-Unsere Geselschaft.
give got to stop debating letters for
awhile now" "Why?" "Our type
writer girl has begun to crochet herself
pink fascinator."- Record.
Little Willie-Pa, what's a financier?
Pa-A financier. my son, is man who
is capable of inducing other men to pile
up fortune for him.-Chicago News.
What profession does your friend
follow?" "That Of the light-fngered
gentry" you don't mean it?' "Yes;
he's a detective."- Standard
and Times.
Waiter-Haven't you forgotten some
thing, sir? Guest-By George! So /
have. l forgot to post that letter my
wife gave me this morning.--New York
, Evening Journal.
The Exceptions: "When a thing is
ended, it's ended" said I. land that's
all there is to it!"' My friend smiled.
''You forget" said he, "the revolution
IN the hilippines!'-Bazar.
'Know anything about golf?" mot
much. WhyY "What's bunker, do
you know?" Il suppose it's one OF
those cranks that simply live and sleep
on the links. "-Philadelphia Press.
Jackson-No, never take the news.
paper home. I've got family of grown
up daughters, you know. Friend-Pa-
pers too full Of crime? Jackson-No;
too full of bargain sales.-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Youngwife-I have at last dis
covered how to receive guests properly.
Mr.. Youngwife-? {? ? |? Mrs. Young
wife-I have everything ready and
then look awfully surprised to see
them.-Life.
He-Do you understand the language
Of flowers, dear? She-Oh, yes, little.
do you know what those dozen roses D.
I sent you last night mean, love?"
"Why, yes; about $2.75, dear."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
''That newly rich Billson carves beau
tifully." "Yes, he learned how to do
that when they lived in q Harlem fiat
and he had to make one chicken go
round with nine in the family. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Too Late: Suffering Employer writ
ing letter)-B-b-b-boy, hand me BIB
b-bl-bl-bl- Office Boy-A blotter,
sir, do you wish? Suffering Employer
Never mind n-n-n-now; the ink has
id -d-dried.-BaZar.
Mrs. Goodsoul-1 think it's perfect
shame that the early settlers killed off
the Indians the way they did. Miss De
Pretty-1ndeed it is; just think what
lovely furs they used to sell for few
glass beads.-New York Weekly.
Myer-Who is the. man across the
way with the gold medal on his coat!
Gyer-Oh, that's Downing. He holds
the automobile record. Myer-Automo-
bile record? Gyer-Yes; ran over thir-
teen people in one afternoon.-Boston
Journal.
Encouraging: Mr.. Pranccr-I'm sorry
I'm such an awkward dancer, Miss
Perkins. Miss Perkins-Oh, you're
doing fairly well, Mr.. Prancer. I've
seen you jerk around lots worse than
this with other sirls.-1ndianapolis
Journal.
Yes, It's true" boosted Colonel
Bragg, 1--WE been in innumerable en-
gagements, and yet never lost my
head" "And I've been in hundreds
of them," replied the Summer Girl,
land never lost my heart. "-Philadel-
ph;a Press.
Family Pride: Miles-My grandfather
celebrated the one hundredth anniver-
sary Of his birth one day last week.
>Giles-That's nothing. If my great
grandfather were alive to-day he would
be one hundred and fifty-two years old.
Chicago News.
Professor Ito student of SURGERY
Please inform the class the names Of
bones forming the skull. Student-Ah
-er-I do not at the present time re-
member, but know that I,have them
all in my head. (Uproar in class.(--In-.
dianapolis Journal ~ a <
The Professors WifeThe professor
is in the laboratory conducting some.
chemical experiments. The professor
expects to go down to posterity
(From the laboratory: Br-r-r-r. Bang9
The VISITOR hope the professor
hasn't gone.-Harlem Life. ST. & !. + +
A Willing Worker: who will haul
down the flagY' exclaimed Mr.. Meek
toms wife, who. was rehearsing .
cv,ooot, vp1,ic1, eho waa IN deliver. hofnr,n