Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-10-12
A LOST WALLET TALE

The man with the sandy hair and the
chopped-off reddish mustache wasn't par.
ticulariy well dressed; in fact, he was q bil
seedy; yet he STROBE into the fashionable
hotel cafe with q confident swing that
looked hike ready money. The head waiter
gazing after the man out of the slants OF
his eyes. seemed to be rejecting that, while
the sandy haired individual appeared to be
considerably minus on the purple and fine
linen question, yet he Individually had the
swagger that is regarded as the invariable
accomplishment of persons who possess
| large stacks OF the silk-threaded papers
manufactured at the bureau Of engraving
and printing. Consequently, the head wait
| er gave the nodded signal to a waiter with
| whom he had fine understanding as to the
| division of tips. and the waiter conducted
! the man to one Of the coy corners. hedged
IN by palms, and far enough away from the
| cafe string orchestra to enable him to par
| take of his meal in comfort
! Er-um," remarked the sandy-haired per-
| son, as he cast his eyes over the menu.
This was regarded a good sign by the
waiter. The really finished habitue of high
| grade cafes always says "Er-um as he
| looks over the bill Of fare.
The man with the chopped-off reddish
| muStache ordered a dish of asparagus
known as Newburg. a couple of oyster pat
| ties, a bit of boned squad, and a pint of
Chateau Margaux.
When he had finished giving this dainty
| face plainly denoted that he was saying
| unto himself, He's the goods" and as the
waiter passed by the head waiter he
screwed up the left side of his countenance
| in knowing wink, which was obviously
| intended to indicate to the naughty super
| visor of the dining room that he had nailed
| a person possessed of that indefinite guam
| tity known as ''alI kinds"
The Sandv-h narfOpE his
lection with great elaboration and gusto,
frequently holding his wine glass up to the
| light so that he could lazily observe the
amber beads eddying to the surface. The
waiter from q safe and unobtrusive dis
lance, watched the sandy-haired man with
a critical eye to ascertain If he made any
departure from the fine, lolling. bored meth
DDS. of feeding and moistening himself,
which comprise the modern fashion of blase
males in partaking of solid and liquid re-
lection at places where they have pink
shaded electric bulbs and cut flowers on
each and every table. The waiter found
the sandy-haired person was next to each
and every move; and the servitor. as he
stood there, seemed to be already blowing
in, in fancy, the two-spot which he figured
out he would receive as a tip from the man
| with the chopped-off mustache.
The latter, after this solitary food-and-
drink session that endured about an hour
and quarter, dipped the ends of his fingers
in the Bohemian glass finger bowl after
OF dering three mild cigars for 80 cents and
biting off the end of one of them, and then
he glanced in an off-hand sort Of way at
the neat check for s5.25 which the waiter
had unostentatiously placed on small sill
yer salver at the end of the table.
The sandy-haired man reached into the
inside pocket of his coat and a blank ex-
preston swept his homely but somewhat
engaging countenance.
by George he muttered. looking con-
siderably panic-stricken, I've left my wal
let at homer
The waiter, overhearing the remark,
froze instantly. His teeth came together
with a click and he brought his feet to-
gether and stood as straight as a ramrod,
like a buck soldier about to present arms.
"Confound the luck!' calculated the man
with the chopped-of mustache, what am
l going to do, anyhow? I'm not known
here-just dropped in for luncheon sort of
accidentally, to humor whim, and here L
am without a penny to make good for my
nourishment! Botheration"
The walters closely shaven mug con-
tracted into sheer, and he gave vent to an
.Uh-huh," which meant That's bloom
ing likely fairy tale, isn't it?'
Fetch the head waiter here" said the
sandy-haired man, and without an Eyes.
sir" this time the waiter executed the or
der The head waiter glowered upon the
sandy-haired man, shook his head solemnly
and said that he had nothing to do with
the case that 1t was up to the manager of
the cafe, and that he would summon the
manager; which he did forthwith.
The manager Immediately showed himself
to be bulldoZer from away back His eye
quickly took in the somewhat dinky raj
ment of the sandy-haired person, and ne
dashed himself into purple wrath.
You're a bum and a beat that's what
you are"' he Kissed at the man with the
chopped-off mustache. Left your wallet
at home, hey? You can't spring any such
ballad and waltz as that on me-not much.
I'm going to have you pinched as vag-
summon policeman" turning to the head
waiter.
The sandy haired man seemed to be
y;%l, but o of
length found words sufficient to protest-a
bit weakly. however-that he was repu-
table citizen, and that he would endeavor.
il they gave him the chance, to telephone
to one Of his friends to come and get him
out of his predicament. But the cafe man
ager wouldn't listen to this and continued
to storm.
Then, overhearing the heated colloquy a
lne-looking old gentleman with white side
whiskers appeared upon the scene. He had
been dining alone at nearby table.
about?' he inquired testify, pushing his
way through the crowd of walters that had
assembled around the table of the sandy
haired man.
ton, and then the sandy-haired man said
his little say in as clear a way as he could
under the circumstances.
Tut, tush,' said the old gentleman then.
this gentleman is all right; any idiot
could see that. Here, how much is his
bill? I'll pay it myself" and he took the
check. glanced at it, pulled out huge roll
OF bills, stripped 500 one therefrom, hand
ed it over, carelessly put the change away,
and strobe out with the sandy-haired per
son.
Just one hour later
Now, here Is the whitewashed milestone
in this story, at which the laugh-harvesters
OF the comic color press would go on to
narrate how, just one hour later, the CASH
Ter of the restaurant, in counting over the
days rake-in. discovered that the 500 bill
fcrked over by the old gentleman with the
white ''sders'' was a counterfeit production
of the rawest kind, and then they would
go on to joyfully relate how the pair OF
professional crooks jumped into an automo-
bile to be taken to the railroad station, and
how they poked each other in the ribs and
laughed hoarse, croaking laughs, and so on
However,
Just one hour later the sandy<haired man,
large holder of real estate out in the
Brightwood section and worth easily $134,-
987.65. appeared at the F street Office of
the old gentleman with the white. 'siders
"a wealthy attorney-and paid him the
$5.25 with many expressions of gratitude.
And both of them vowed that they'd never
go to that particular cafe again. This may
be sort Of trite, petered-out ending, but
it's true and this writer would rather no