Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1901-08-01
UNCLE BILL.
m HRlSTlAN Science is all right"
said Uncle Bill ms the editor
HND-
ID be
q . / { 0 2

said Uncle Bill. rs the editor
y handed him a paper with
Christian Science headlines,
AN enyone kin demonstrate it ter
their own satisfaction. II they 'llonly
jest git a leetle mite Nv imagination on
board"
IF Christian Science is fact, why
must people draw upon imagination ~
said the editor.
yer don't understand-jest imagine
yer understand il an it'll bercome all
clear ter yer" saiu Uncle Bill.
Yes. but now is fellow to imagine
anything when ne cannot do so" in
CURED the editor. who discovered a
good chance to bring out some of Uncle
Bills philosophy.
WAL" said Uncle Bill. "Helen's bin
drillin me in Christian Science fer
bout year or more, an I'd orter know
sumthin bout it. an if yer cant do eny
'maginin'. yer'd better shut up shop
an look fer place ter hop off at, cause
a man or woman what can't imagine
haint got no hi2ness monkeyin' round
on this earth
you do not believe that everything
is imaginative do you?" asked the edi-
tor.
WAL, purity durn near. Now,
there's Gehu Hawkins, ter prove it. he
hain't mounted ter enything for a
good many years an he didn't think he
did hisself. ontil his brother died in
Callerforny an left him twenty-five or
thirty thousand dollars, an then Gehu
begin ter think he was sum pumpkins:
an I'll be gosh burned II everybody in
town didn't bergin ter see lots NV good
things In i'm, an he wasn't eny better'n
he was before. He was worse, cause
he went ter drinkin an SIGH like, as
goes with it. but that don't make no
difference people all invites him ter
their homes now an berfore he didn't
have a friend in town" said Uncle Bill.
'Oh, well, people will worship
money" said the editor.
THAT may be. but they don't have
ter worship a burned vagrant jest be-
cause sum one left him pile NV money.
Now. Teller what's vagrant without
money is a durn site bigger one with
it," said Uncle Bill as he paused for In
reference.
you are making that pretty strong"
said the editor There are lots OF
people who have had money left to
them that are not Migrants
Say. Mr.. Editor, there's lots NV reo-
pic what has had money left to 'em that
was respected in their poverty an NV
course a leetle money don't hurt their
responsibility, but. as a Sineral rule,
these people as goes round tryin' ter
make people berlieve that they are
gentlemen cause they has a rich rea-
tive. 1t takes long slice Nv Christian
Science ter make 'em society fayorites,
but jest as soon as they has bunch Nv
money left 'un they commences ter
smell NV Goldfish. cause that's the kind
NV arstocracy as takes EN- up"
Il fail TO see what that has to do
with Christian Science?' said the edi-
tor
so do J." said Uncle Bill, only it
shows that Imagination cuts quite n
swath all along the line. WAL, ter
bergin with. had fellon cum on my
finger an then Helen got me started on
this ere Christian Science. an | kin
recommend it ter sufferin' humanity as
bein' right. Why, when | was walkin
the floor nights an groanin like fell
Ter kin with a fellon, Helen says, Will
lam, yer haint got no fellon, it's all
Imagination an she got me ter think
in so an III be burned II in three
months ! could feel enything NV It,"
THAT shows the control of mind
over matter, ventured the editor.
$50 far as ! kin see" said Uncle
Bill. matter Gums purity near con
trolln the minds NV most people. Yer
kin let a well-dressed woman 90 down
the street an watch the people rubber,
an when yer In the city jest watch the
Jumpin Jacks in crowded street car
II well dressed young woman gifts on,
an when a poorly dressed, ordinary
lookin' woman gifts on it's fun ter see
everybody nosin inter sum leetle ac-
count book or other Now that's where
Imagination Gums in, but ter return ter
Christian Science. We had a fine big
cow an she died. an Helen set ter
grievin'; but told her ter jest imagine
we had not lost her. an I'll be burned
II in a year we didn't have another one
---one of our yearlin's turned inter
COW. an -."
Eyes. but Uncle Bill, did II take
Christian Science 10 make the
CHANGE"
w ddIf 4 EHt1N u We HhAh w bbi
the hefer. we'd a-bin leetle short Nv
milk. an then had colt kick me an
brake three ribs, an busted my watch:
an Helen said. Jest imagine yer WASH [
kicked at all So | started in on mag
nation, an III be burned If I wasn't
round all right In a couple NV months.
But | had ter take the watch TO jew
a95ry shnp ter have IL fixed. an the
jeWeler beat out that trip. But the
toughest proposition I've struck was
last week. when me an the hired man
was figerin on Gieanin out our spring
an was leanin' over lookin inter 1t,
when our ole billy goat male regular
football rush an caught me 'midship
an landed head first inter the spring.
| tried ter imagine | was at the dinner
table an all sorts nv things, but there
| was stickin head first in the spring,
| till finally John pulled me out"
"You could not make Christian Sci
| ence work there. could you"
| WAL. Helen says tba.'s why John
pulled ma out. so | couldn't dispute
/ that | tried ter imagine ! didn't have
eny goat but be always seemed ter be
gtandin' in my path an noddln'. az
much az ter say, That's one on yer,
.