The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-03-31
SILENCE Is 4 G|H'
That Carries Many Men
Through Polite Society.
IRISHMAN'S BAD BREAKS
Were the Joy and Delight of
Life in the Army.

During the time I was in the service,
I came into contact with plenty of Shout
derstrap wearers who were deficient in
polite education" said an ex-army Of
icer, speaking of Admiral SIMPSONS re-
fusal to endorse Gunner Morgan for pro-
motion. Most Of them, however, were
men of strong common sense and the gift
of silence which carried them through
safely, and it was a significant fact that
the exhibitions of bad taste and boOrish-
ness and lack of consideration for others
that now and then scandalized the posts
were nearly all made by the fellows of
supposed culture Then, too, we would
occasionally encounter a rough diamond,
whose comical breaks were really
source of popularity.
1.-The quaintest character of that kind
1 ever knew was Capt. He was
a joviaI Irish-American who had enlist
ed from a brickyard in the civil war.
came out breveted a colonel, and got
commission as lieutenant in the regular
army When I first met him, he was
in command of a company at post in
Kansas, and nobody was in greater de-
mand socially. His ludicrous manglings
of the Kings English were the joke of
the department, but he laughed as loud
as anybody over them himself, and
frankly admitted his shortcomings in
early education. As a matter of fact,
he would have escaped the reputation of
a male Darlington if he had only been
able to overcome his fondness for I'M
usual words. They invariably got him
into trouble. 1 remember on one occas-
ion he asked our major to whom he fire.
quently applied for information, the
meaning of fragrant 1t means-er-
known to verybody-generalIy known,
replied the major, at loss for briefer
definition. Some weeks afterward the
captain was chatting with the coIoneTs
wife, and happened to mention new
chaplain who had been assigned to the
post. The lady expressed some curiosity
about him, and said she had never heard
of him before. Why, madame, you sur
prise me entirely exclaimed the captain;
he's one of the most fragrant clergymen
in the servicer The coIonePs wife Shrek
and the poor chaplain is known to this
day as the fragrant clergyman
at another time, the captain went to
Chicago on furlough and came back full
of the marvels he had seen. Among 9TH
er things, hehad attended a performance
of 'Richelieu, by Lawrence Barrett, and
declared it was the greatest piece of act /
ing ever witnessed on the stage. One of
the ladies asked him what passage he
admired the most Why, that little
spache by the cardinal, he replied,
where says: In the bright Lexington
of youth there's no such wor-r-d as fall
l presume it was meant for tribute to
our Evolutionary heroes he added. I
There was a howl of laughter, but the
captain stood his ground. Wei, what
other Lexington could the good man
have meant@ he demanded. He sure
wasn't talkin' of Lexington. Kentucky
"One more anecdote, and I'm done,'
said the story teller in conclusion:
Shortly after my arrival at the post.
we were joined by an officer from Wash
ington. who was detailed to the duties
of adjutant and turned out to be very
much of a cad. A month or so later the
colonel received an unsigned note from
some blackguard, saying that the officers
were drinking too much at the club on
the grounds, and this adjutant was fool
to hint that the writing resem-
bled that of our friend, the captain
When that gentleman heard of the re-
mark. he wrote demanding an immediate
apology, and added that he would allow
no man to intimate that he was capable
of penning a synonymous letter. The
adjutant read the communication and
threw it on his table These stupid bulls
of his bore me he said, petulantly. I
won't pay any attention to this until he
to write exactly what he
means The message was carried back
verbatim Go and ask him. roared the
captain whether he'd rather DE bored
by a bull than bullet" The apology
was at once Forthcoming. New Orleans