The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-05-19
FUN or THE WORLD.

she hss lived in nearly hale TIE families /
in town. ana her conversation is 50 en- /
+ tsrtaining
* zs
life IS SO beautiful. walled the Old
( man who haG barred four wives. II
dread the thought % death" cheer
T no. rnurmsred the kindly comforter.
( Perhaps we shaut recognize each other
+ IN TIE hereafter
ggs
Mver; What's Windham's telephone
NUMBER
eyer: six and seven-eighths
1Iyer. why there aren't any frac-
ti0naI numbers il the telephone book.
oyer. But there are in hats"
4 The fair tr1a az the mermaid wore
puzzled expression
What. sa. llaiiy asked. Is all this
talk about closing the poolroonas OF New
york;
You have hit 1t" replied Neptune;
its al talk"
Don't you know 1t VIII hurt me almost
as much as il does 700. u I have 20
punish you" said the father"
Yes answered the precocious boy. 7
an sure OF II ny recollection IS that
you would not take ne 70 the circus II
You really don't mean &c say
skreecher is leading a double mfe7" II
don't see what else you coald say Of
hin" why. what have you heard7"
I've heard him cam himself a baritone
while all his friends say he is nuis-
ance."
gEz
For man who doesn't work" said
the housekeeper. you have a pretty
good appetite" Yes. ma'am." sad
/ Hungry Higgins; "dats why I don't
work. II I did. dey wouldn't be no salts
fyin' me-"
THE pen IS mightier than the sword. %
quoted the man who clings 70 proverbs.
Nv dear sir" rejoined the modern
list, 1T is no longer a question OF pens
and swords. The debate now Is as 20
whether the typesetting machine IL
mightier than the maxim gun"
x
Mrs. Muggins-"AIy husband IS the
most unreasonable man alive" Mrs.
Buggins-"What has he done now
Mrs. Muggins-'I have been az him Tor
six months 10 buy some new furniture
FOR the parlor. and he has just paid Sso.o10
for an old seat in the Stock Exchange"
x x
Jiggsi = suppose you had a glorious
time at the banquet last night?'
Jaggs: wen, no; I don't believe
did"
Jiggs: You don't believe you didT'
Jaggs; mo; my wife didn't make any
row this morning. 50 I must have come
home comparatively sober"
x gz x
Al least salu the Wild-eyed man
with long hair. my musical comedy Is
finished, all but a triding detail" And
what asked the unsOphisticated listen
er, IS the plet2" did ! not tell you q"
exclaimed the genius OF stage-craft
that there was q triding detail stan 20
consider?"
sgE
HampsOn-"I hear your engagement
with Miss Miaks IS broken on How's
that2' Hill-''Weil, you see that beast
OF q parrot OF hers was always yelling.
Oh Charlie you shouldn't Hamp-
son-"But what difference did that make
, Your engagement was not a secret"
Hill-"No and my name isn't Charlie"
*
one Mans WlsdOn--NeW Clerk That
young lady in front wants to look at
some rings exactly Ike she has on. saws
she IS thinking OF purchasing a duplicate
for her sister" Old Jewolier-. Huh!
You needn't waste any time on her. The
ring she has IS an engagement ring. and
she merely wants 20 and out what Il
cost"
zzE
7 confess 10 being a very poor Judge
OF oratory." said the mid-mannered per
son.
when you hear it2'
mo. 1t depends on ny personal feel
ings. If q friend is making the speech
II Is eloquent II It IS not a friend It Is
merely garruiity."
Eg
Pure Carelessness.-AIr. Fiskur latter
conversius with neighbour johnny.
whose FAINT was Il that Tommy TufIn
got black eyer Johnny Flskun-
"His own" Mr.. Fislrur Cvery delfbsr-
ately)-"Are you sure, nov2'' Johnny
Fiskun-' Dead surel Why. he Ieft an
opening you could drive a band-wagon
through"
zgR
Scotch divine took one Of his parfsh-
toner's 20 task Tor his non-nttendanee al
KIRK. the man said:
4 dina Ike lang sermons The mar
son, with some wrath. replied.
John, yen dee. and e. 20 q place
: where yen not have the privilege Of
hearing long or short sermons"
That may be- said John. but Il
Wilma be for lack Of pzrsons.'
=
X want you to remember snapped
z.
cerstanding with one Of the chorus girls
behind The scenes, that am the star
in this play"
7 know you're the star returned -he
chorus glrl giancfrR 81 The slender rro-
portions of toe other and shrlvgirr he-
plump shoulders. but you'd look better
my dear. u You were a little meteor
r
The lawyer for the persecution hzf ha4
be-
stand for hair an hour without 9etfi---
solitary reply that was favorable ~
hls side. what ls your ocrtr-.fft.r- 81
finally demanded TIRE atforrev ~ ara
employed IN o bureau u Information 10
( replied the stoiil-faced man. Then the
lawyer Tor the prosecution realized sbat
- was up against. and gave 10 b.
despair.
1913
Late - night last week : artv srfr-
iuE westward had ne r.laforraae o. lar~
one ~ ire front wheels ~ hfs machine
The eaicer sfsrraEe ard t1c presence
81 a crowd rakeued 40 tts sronsv hfrr.
who had svidentiy been dining rot wise
j. bui eco ven
''Vrhatsa %. habbyT' So Inquired
"oaa ~ tf1 fr1u4 wheels ~ rr
--T1rT wei. take cu oansr utsg r~g
rake = . hans7n-lrlse. hczae. cab
byl'
zzz
&ftrr SIX morths n tzrErssr fhe Arr
a. ssn peFpe1 slgly over fas edge - ere
scr Ar ofs-w1-erT Pa t-ef re-
termed from ffe Ere CAB gt-tsf
sine 81 ift aske- hfrs Gsltsr errrr. sos
1elig zaklrE So carsr rsrr FfHrfl-
afg rel Nr ofaerFss rrrs sEs-
trflT II ra 81 rrsilf rf raet KAY.
and 1aFrE - 1ere ~ 30 iat1 fam