Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-11-02

est III uanuaI training. pS, an
swered Mr.. Meekton gently, land I'm
the man. Washington Star.
Bill. can yer lend me twopence?"
''Wot a silly question ter arst! Why
If | ad twopence, wot nd | be doin'
standin outside a public 'ouse:"-Punch.
Amiable Advice.-He-"It was hard
work TO keep from kissing you last
night" She-"Wcll, you must be care
full not to overexert yourself, jack
Smart Set.
A Confession.-Her Mother-"E Edith,
don't you think you are getting too old to
play with little boys?'
Edith-"No. mamma: the older l get
the better | like them. Tit Bits.
Would you like ter be took ter glory
in eherryroot er fire."
well, eff 'twuz in de winter time, NAB
be | would; but in July or August I'd
favor refrigerator wild wings" -Atlan-
Ia Constitution.
A Connector -Teacher-"Now. l told
You yesterday that conjunction is
something that connects. Johnnie. you
may give me an example of coniunc-
ton" Johnnie-"A couplin' pin, ma am"
-Onlo State journal.
Dobbs-"You ought to do something for
that cold of yours. A neglected cold oft
en- leads TO serious consequences"
Mobbs-"This one isn't neglected. Four
or FIVE hundred of my friends are look
ing after it."-Tit-Bits.
Mistress-"Now, remember, Bridget.
the Joneses are coming for dinner to-
night"
Cook-"Leave it to me, mum. I'll do
me worst They'll never trouble yez
again"'--Harper Bazaar.
Beginning at Home.-Jasper-"I I'M
derstood that you had turned over a new
leaf, and were even going to love your
enemies; but l; seems to me that you love
no one but yourself" well, / am my
own worst enemy. Life.
Ownership.-"Tm nobody's fool. I'd
have you know, Miss Northside." said
young Mr.. -Fitzgoober. Indeed re-
piled Miss Northside; that's odd! Ev-
erybody says you belong to Miss Spiftins,"
-PittSburg hronicle-Telegraph.
Visitor-"No; | won't come in. If /
could see Mr.. Jones for two minutes?'
Servant-"What name shall Oi say,
sorr?" Prof. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
mer' Och, sure, ye'd better step in
and bring it wild We, sorr!'-Punch.
A Difficulty Obviated.-Mr T. Totaler
My dear, ! do not think it is very APP
propriate for YOU to wear that wine-col-
ored silk to the w. G. i. L. convention.
Mrs. T. Totaler-"Oh. but it is watered
silk, you know."-Baltimor American.
Large Figures.-"My time" said the
dollars minute" We'll" answered the
friend, casually, Tets go out this after
noon and play ten or fifteen thousands
dollars worth of golf."-Washington
Star.
ut seems to me that our friend has
so much faith in money that he almost
makes religion of it,
Il don't like the comparison. The
word religion implies at least a remote
chance of backsliding. Washington
Star.
did you hear that drinking song of
mine in the last actT asked the prima
donna.
Il thought that was drinking song"
responded the low comedian, because il
was such a high bawl."-Baltimore
American.
Rodricl-"W / was at the Pan
American | visited the Transportation
building to see the latest thing in loco
motives" Van Albert-"Pooh! You can
see the latest thing in locomotives in
front of our suburban accommodation. -
Philadelphia Record.
"Chesney lives in Brooklyn, but be-
Ill, hon, h han
pens TO meet some of the old boys he
stays all night"
"Why is that?
He's afraid to cross the bridge with a
load. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Landlady-"Our Shakespeare club is to
discuss the character of Cassius tonight"
Boarder-"Did you know Cassius!
Landlady-"What question. OF
course, not"
Boarder-"T didn't know but he board
ed here; he was lean and hungry, you
know. Brooklyn Life.
'Hoolahan-"Who'd think thot We
would be hOvin underground throlley
car lines! This is a great world were
livn' in"'
wouldn't be surprised if we lived long
enough t see underground illivated rail
roads" Brooklyn Eagle.
"Shucks" CALCULATED Uncle Geehaw.
wisely ABE Chinwhiskers, you can't
tell me the ice cream stores in Moo York |
sell real ice cream in bricks that You
can take hum and eat, if you hurry. Go !
tell that yarn tew someone who hain't |
bought as many gold bricks as your Tn |
Gle Joshuway! '-Brooklyn Eagle.
Manager have written a very |
good play, but l regret to say | cannot |
produce it."
Budding Playwright-"Wh notf'
Manager-''Well, in the first place, the |
title is too long, and the electric sign |
would consume all the profits. In the |
second place, your speech before the cur |
tain is altogether too short. Try again. |
New York Times.
Our Trade Possibilities.
Chinas present foreign trade does not I
amount to 81 per head; Japan's foreign |
trade now exceeds SO head or $500. |
hnt 600 against less than 81 NOR head /