The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-03-22

Sing loud the high triumphal ode :
Let every voice join In!
Oh, spread the joyous news abroad
Let ne er a voice be dumb
The U. s. Senate has repealed
The tax on chewing gum!
Late the other night a small news
boy, with a pair of roller skates under
| his arm, got aboard a trolley car run
| ming out into the Brooklyn suburbs
None of the passengers paid any par
ticular attention to the little fellow as
the car bumped along, until he began
! to strap on his skates.
Then all of sudden everybody in the
| car became interested.
''Hey, Sonny, what you going to do?'
| asked bald-headed patriarch across the
aisle. "Ain't going skating in the car,
are you?"
The boy gave a tug to the strap he
| was engaged in buckling and then lcck-
ing up at his questioner replied:
Sure I'm goin' ter skate in de car.
What you t'ink, I'm goin' out on me
hands?"
Having thus squelched the man across
the aisle he finished fastening on his
skates.
After this for minute or two he was
evidently in deep thought; then. rs if
struck by an inspiration, he addressed
the man across the aisle:
Say mister, if you want to know why
I've got on me rollers I'll tell you. You
see dis bloomin' coach. don't 60 widin a
mile of me ranch. an, as der's a side
walk tro de medder I alters bring me
| own private trolley along See!'
Having parted with this information
| he made a sudden slide for the rear
platform, and moment later he had dis
| appt AIRED.
It's hard job to get ahead Of a New
wrinkles he is sure. to he the very first
to catch on, and nothing was ever known
to phase him.-Fourth Estate.
\ story is told of an English school
! master who offered a prize to the boy
| who should write the best composition in
five minutes on "How to Overcome a
Habit
At the expiration of five minutes the
| compositions were read. The prize went
| to lad Of 8 years. Following is his es-
| say:
We'll, sir. habit is hard to overcome.
If you take off the first letter, it does
net change .,,;abit;' If you take off an
other you will still have bit left. If
YOU take. off still another the whole of
1T remains: If YOU take off another, it
is not wholly used up: all of which goes
to show that if you want to get rid of a
habit you must throw it off altogether
She. is a very pretty American girl
spending the winter in Berlin and Wrestl-
| ing. with that awful German language"
Which Mark Twain has so delightfully."-
described; but if her German is painful
to her neighbors, it cannot be more as
tonishing than the English to which she
is compelled to listen. She has written
back to her friends in America the re-
cord of her exploits in belleship, and as
modestly as is becoming in one with a
| long line of social successes.
Il must write you an extract" she
says, from note one of the German
| officers wrote me. He is stationed at
Bremen, but came up here for his holi-
days and took me to dance. The
spirits bear witness, l shall never 20 to
| another German dance! But this is the
extract:
L am glad that made your associa-
ton on my holydays and that could be
| about you on the last hours of my pres
ence at Berlin on the ball, which shall
be by you the most agreeable dancing
'As IT that were not sufficient in the
way OF elegant English ,phraseology for
continues, ''he has sent me a PHOTOGRAPH
OF himself, and has written:
brance of some wonderfully fine together
spent Fortunately days.
"Heigho! His mother has been here
10 negotiate with my mother in true Ger
I'VE were married our days would not be
so wonderfully fine together spent for
tunately.' youths Companion.
when grandma is pleased with mo
she gives me her lovely old brass can
| dlesticks."
How nice"'
Yes. but when she gets angry she
takes them away, and gives them to
How dreadful!''
'Of course: then when she gets angry
| at Cousin Clara, she makes her hrine
them back, and gives them to me again
Well: that makes it all right"
NO, it doesn't: Suppose grandma
| should die while the candlesticks are
over at Cousin Clara's::' Ba-
| gar.
Former Judge Henry E. Rowland has
deservedly high reputation as an after'
| dinner speaker. 1t is his practice to con-
meet hVe minutes of serious talk win
TWENTY-FIVE minutes Of story telling. All
OF ms stories are apropos, and most Of
David's society the other nieht ~ r.
judge was in a happy vein. The ane ne
dote which was received with the great
est laughter was that of the little boy
who was considerably puzzled by The
theory Of evolution. One day he Said te
his mother: '"'u ~
key:' - 0'n d mon
Il don't know she answered. .1
| never met any of your fathers peonla ,,
Another of Judge. Howland's Stories
had to do with the old Maine farmer
Who mad been married four times.
| wife. neighbor stopped him and said.
"Mornin, Cyrus. How's the wife this
oval, to tell ye the truth renliod ~.
rus. I'm kinder out of wives Jest now y
New York Mail and Express. -
diplomat?' ' .
MI. JumPuppe-"A diplomat, my son.
| is man who can call von q Ear - 80,