davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24
HUMOROUS.

Muggins-Why do you allow your
boy to work in bowling alley? Bug
gins-Oh, just for pin money.
"The shirtwaist must be about to
bloom" Why do you think SOP" Be
cause there goes one on bud"
Hoax-I suppose when the footpad
held you up you were greatly in
iced. Joax-Well, he left me cents
less.
Teacher-Man proposes and-and
what? Who can complete the SEN
tence? Bright Pupil-And that's the
end of him.
Romantic Maid-I wonder what the
wild waves are saying? Practical
Youth-Oh, they are probably telling
fish stories to each other.
Nell-Has Mr.. Slokoche proposed to
you, yet? Belle-No. He reminds me
of Il self evident truth. How do you
mean?" "He goes without saying"
Teacher-Of course you understand
the difference between liking and low
ing? Pupil-Yes. miss; like my ia
ther and mother, but love apple pie.
Towne-So he's really dead. Well,
he made a hard fight. If ever a man
had an iron will he was the man.
Browne-Yes, but I'll bet the lawyers
will break it.
Prison Visitor-This wouldn't have
happened to you if you had been
taught to pray from your childhood.
Convicted Burglar-You're wrong. l
was taught to prey from my childhood.
"And do these Indian girls never
evince tendency to relapse into their
former savagery?" Tears sprang to
the eyes of the mission worker. "Ab,
yes" sighed she. only last evening
they set the table without putting doy
lies under the finger bowls"
They were on the train, on their
wedding trip. at seems to me the
conductor is rather PERSONAL" COM
planned the bride. Perhaps he thinks
this is personally-condu tour"
replied the groom, who was still rat
tied from has recent experience.
$50 you quarrelled with George?"
said one young woman. Yes an
swered the other, with much pathos.
SIS your engagement broken OFF," "Oh,
no. | told him | never wanted to see
his face again, and he said that he
would leave me forever. But we didn't
go so far as to break off our engage
ment."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

A Russian colony has been estab-
lished in Ellis County, Kansas, on a
peculiar basis. The land is sold not
for cash, but for given number of
bushels Of wheat. The buyer agrees to
SOW n given number of acres in wheat
each year and one-half of the crop
goes to the seller of the land until the
obligation is satisfied. No interest is
charged. The buyer may, according to
his enterprise and industry, pay for
the land in two or three years, or, in
the event of successive years of crop
failures, the clearing off of the debt
may be postponed for eight or ten
years more. Whenever the crop fails,
the seller gets nothing. The colony
now numbers 1000, and an immense
area of land has changed hands in the
county on these conditions, which are
easy to the buyer and profitable to
the seller.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24
MAUD.

The Man with the Hoe, on that sum-
mer's day
When Maud Muller raked the hay.
Was at work in the corn, just over the
fence
And Maud was a girl of good horse
sense.
When the Man with the Hoe said,
Marry mel"
"Go get reputation!" said she.
He worked it right, and in course of
time
He, too, was written up in rhyme.
And so they were wed, mid feasting
and laughter,
And lived very happily ever after.
Detroit Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

The Germans have little reason to
complain of our competition in Cen
tral America, whose trade our mer-
chants permit the Germans TO snatch
from under their very noses. Our
Consul at Bremen reports that the Ger
man investments in Central America
amount to S59, 100000, and the large
German houses control most of the
foreign trade with those countries
The direct trade with Germany runs
from S7,OOO,OO0 to $11 100000, and the
German houses control the other for
eign trade, which German steamships
mostly carry.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24
A PYRAMID OF DIMES.
They Count in the Grand Total of the
Governments Receipts.

Governments Receipts.
"Does the government make much
out of these pretty blue stamps?" she
asked the clerk at the stamp window
as her gloved hand dropped a dime
on the glass counter in payment for a
special delivery letter to Charlie.
Certainly, miss" responded the
clerk. "The government must get
revenue from some source other than
the internal revenue and import taxes.
1t tries to make both ends meet in the
postal service and endeavors to earn
an honest penny or two extra.
"You will now. upon mailing that
letter, obtain special service, for
which, of course. you ought to pay.
The government cleans up neat little
pile each year from dimes paid for
special delivery stamps. receiving last
year 5.191 900 pieces. and employing
2173 messenger boys to deliver them,
the average time for the delivery Of
each letter being Is minutes.
"The government received in rev.
enue from his source dimes to the
amount of S627800. and paid for rum
ming this branch of the service $477,-
100, making neat little profit of
$147.000.
"You see, miss. the carrying in the
mails of love letters like the one in
your hand. and other missives. costs
money, and the department spent last
year s107,7O0,000 to do it. AS it re-
ceived only 100000, there was a
deficiency of s5.385.OOO. OF these re-
ceipts s94,000.000 came from the sales
of postage stamps, stamped envelopes,
newspaper wrappers and postal cards.
So every cent the government may
make adds to the total receipts and
lessons the deficiency, even down to
the amount received from the sale of
waste paper. The profit it makes on
the sale of the little stamp books with
leaves that won't stick together at an
advance of only one cent over the
face value of the stamps in the book
has yielded $4,000 in a single month";"
Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

"T' church is different" remarked
he, hastily changing from the pool
But out of t. church I'm not easy t
shock"
You think soc-
Solomon trewth," said MIR. Atten-
borough decidedly.
Perhaps you're right" she said.
But" she pointed a finger toward the
shore. "is that Miss Griggs over
there?"
He followed the direction of her fin
ger, and saw hat most of the congre-
CATION were assembled in groups about
the shore.
'Tis indeed" he groaned; "an'
Miss Griffin and t whole Sunday
school watching us. think that we
shud be getting back"
Don't let me keep you,' she said.
at is not keeping me. 'Tis only
He looked about him for an excuse.
Zip me! T. sea-
What do you mean?"
"T sea- said Mr.. Attenborough.
Its COON up
She sprang to her feet in great in
dignation-
This comes of your talking. Why
couldn't you keep your eyes open
what is to be done?"
Gould yew wade?" suggested Mr..
Attenborough, apologetically, He
knew nothing of the rocks and what
dephths cut him off from the shore.
Only he remembered tnat in old days
the imp of the illage knew every inch
Wade? In my best things?" Her
scornful tone made him feel more at
fault than ever.
''Praps they'll send us a boat" he
said.
after we're drowned?"
"P'raps l could-take yew over to
tn shore?"
"Se how deep 1t is first" she said
imperiously.
He let himself down gingerly, and
the water closed over the knees of his
best trousers.
Think yew would loike to be car
ried?" he asked, dolefully, stretching
out his arms for her to hurry. But
she kept him there while she struggled
to hide her laughter, and then said
threateningly-
of you drop me, l shall never for
give you"
"And if doan't drop yew?" said he.
"Lindenthorpe never will'-
Coon" he said. And at that she
let him take her in his arms. The
folk of Lindenthorpe on the beach
were taking much interest in the pro-
ceedings. "The Mink" said Miss
Grisgs! did you ever?" The church
warden was splashing through pools
of water, regardless of his appearance,
and only careful to protect the affect
ed burden in his arms. Most of Lin
denthorpe was assembled OH the shin
gle when he reached the uninvaded
sand. Miss Betty Mayne made no mo-
tion of descent.
Shall l set yew doom here?" he
asked.
"No, she said. cts DAMP should
wet my shoes. Carry me right up to
the shingle."
He breathed hard, not because Of
her weight which was nothing, but
because Of the publicity of the thing.
Whom be l carrying?" he asked.
BE | carrying ma sweetheart"
"If-you WILL" she said, stormed by
his unexpected boldness. He put her
down in the middle of the assembled
folk, some OF whom feigned to be
watching the sea. Miss Griggs hap
pened to be the nearest, and she shook
her head archly at the church warden.
"I'm shocked" she said. Were all
shocked, Mr.. Attenborough."
Are yew?" said he. "I'm-I'm
sweethearted. The King.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24
Be STILL.

Be still; the crown of life is silentnesB.
Give thou quiet hour to each long
day.
Too much of time we spend in profitless
And foolish talk-too little do we say.
If thou wouldst gather words that shall
avail,
Learning wisdom worthy to express,
Leave for awhile thy chat and empty
tale
Study the golden speech of silentness.
Arthur L. Salmon.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

A curious example of the reward of
excessive virtue is the case of certain
British pickle manufacturers who have
been making their pint bottles hold a
little more than a pint. to be on the
safe side of the English law. When
these pint bottles arrived at Canada
they found that there was a law in
operation which provides that any
package measuring more than IL pint
must pay duty as quart.-London
Chreniele.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

The Prussian Diet has started a
crusade against the advertising bill
board, but ours seem to have totally
subsided, although the nuisance is as
strongly in evidence as it ever was.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

America no longer needs to protect
itself. 1t is the rest of the world,
according to the London Saturday Re
view, which needs to protect itself
against America.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

In the dialect of Greater New York
a "siller" is one who is always at
the window; "to sill' is to lean over
the window sill and watch the hap
penings in the street, and "silling" is
the act of continually leaning over
the window sill. These words are the
outgrowth of the elevated system.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

The problem of opening a new reser-
walton and getting the settlers into
it without rushing is something of
a puzzle. If the Government solves
it to the satisfaction of everybody
concerned, it may we'll consider itself
wise
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

A California farm hand has shot two
men and killed himself for love. This
is one trouble that climate doesn't
seem to help.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

Generally speaking, any measure is
to be commended which has for it's
object the securing of greater care,
accuracy and knowledge IN the sale
of drugs and the compoundlng Of pre-
scriptionS.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

"Theres such a thing as being too
cool in the face OF danger" says the
Manayunk Philosopher. MANY a
mans reputation has suffered by his
temperature getting so low as to make
his teeth chatter. r."-Philadelphia Rec
ord
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

A Chicago boy who lately found
purse containing $1,000 got ten cents
for returning it to the owner. Another
authentic case of where virtue is its
own reward.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

'-'he uprising of Russian students
would indicate that a little learning
is dangerous thing for absolute
monarchies.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

Fifty thousand citizens of Indiana
are employed in wood industries, and
receive annually S15,000000 in wages.
The product of this labor brings $5O,-
100000 each year to Indiana's manu'
facturers.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24
{REEL A Nd 1RIBU Ne.
ESTABLISHED 1888
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY,
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY. Limited
OFFICE; MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE.
LONG DISTANCE TELEPHONE.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES

FREELAND.-rhe TRIBUNE is delivered by
carriers to subscribers in Freeland at the rate
of l2l6 cents per month. payable every two
months, or Sl50a year, payable in advance.
The TRIBUNE may be ordered direct form tho
carriers or from the Office. Complaints of
irregular or tardy delivery service will re-.
oeive prompt attention.
BY NAIL The TRIBUNE is sent to out-of.
town subscribers for Sl.50 year, payable in
advance; pro rata terms for shorter period ).
The date when the subscription expires is on
the address label of each paper. Prompt re.
newals must be made at the expiration, other
wise the subscription will be discontinued
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

Andres diary was found too late
to do him any good, but 1t may infict
another historical novel on the public.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

Twenty per~cent of all horned cattle
are killed for Food in year, 40 out
of every 100 sheep and 90 out of every
100 pigs.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

1t takes brave man to face den
tist, and even then the dentist can
take the nerve out of him.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24
QUAINT AND CURIOUS.

The finest human hair Is blonde
and red is the coarsest. The thick
ness of human hair varies from the
250th to the 600th of an inch.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-06-24

ness or human ndlr varies from Jne
250th to the 600th of an inch.
In Polynesia baby girls of year old
are placed in wicker cages. and in
cages they remain until the time they
are married. Happily the children do
not seem to mind much. and they
grow fat and healthy. At the age Of
12 years or thereabouts most of the
little damsels leave their cages to be
married.
In a chronological record of some
of our United States histories is
found the following note: "1757, Mont
calm took #. William Henry; massa-
Gre" Judge of the teachers surprise
when pupil arose. and with q conf
dent air said: "Tn 1857 Montcaim
took fit. and William Henry was
massacred."
Compressed oxygen and carburetted
hydrogen were made use of by bur-
glars lately in breaking open . safe
in a London postofEice. It is supposed
ludI IuGy piOhIutll lHtilStlNtS Will d
bottle Of oxygen and obtained the
other gas from n Jet in the building,
thus producing fame intense enough
to destroy the lock.
Since the patent office was first es-
tablished in 1890. only 5757 patents
have been granted to women. There
orn nfbo1. int Tbora
have been AIS patents issued to
colored men, of which % were granted
to one inventor and % to another.
More than 80 percent of the patents
issued are to citizens of the United
States.
The dry lake of the Moiave desert in
southern California. about 7X9 miles
in extent. has a sandy surface almost
as level and smooth as floor, without
a sign of vegetation. Two miners
named Hoyt who live near by lately
got uo land sailboat for navigating
this singular lake. 1t is made very
much like an iceboat. only instead Of
runners it has wheels. It can be
sailed in any direction. and as close
to the wind as a sailboat It has made
as high rate of speed as 40 miles an
hour and is a complete success.
An ingenious Austrian inventor has
just patented speaking clock. which
he claims will be of the greatest value
to people of forgetful and irregular
habits. 1t consists of 2 clock phono-
graph combination. In place of the
usual striking attachment is n phono-
graph, which can be set to speak a
sentence at any hour desired, and
thus become an unfailing reminder Of
the duties of each successive hour.
There is no mechanical difficulty in
the way Of charging this moral time
piece with any number of daily ex-
hortations. 1t can be set to speak
once or dozen times. and may be
trusted never to forget it's message
so long as the clock is duly wound up.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
PICTURES AT MIDNIGHT
Camera oiub wm Roam About In
 the siIsat Hours

Tomorrow evening the Camera Club will have a midnight outing. A soci- al session at the Broadway rooms will be had. commencing at about I2 o'clock After this an adjurnment will be taken to the gymnasium oi the Y. M, (. A. where an hour will be spent
 In the lonely hours of the morning the iiends will rally forth and see Skag way by moonlightGi the lesser lImi- nary puts in an appearance). They will claim the town and it will be theirs. A trip to the docks will be made and general roam about the city win be indulged in Everything conceiv- able will be snapped and what a col lection of negatives there will be. U is rumored that the Alaskan force, which is far famed for its beauty, is to be photographed Anticipating this the members have been instructed to be on their best behavior and to wear the sweetest smiles Even the Mergen' thaler the machine with brains, wants Co be "in it.
 Of course, it could not be expected that an of this would be done without the taking of refreshments, SO the 6cnds will indulge before starting ou' on their midnight escapade
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
They Are Going Homo

James Kendall and George Dun ham. two prominent gentlemen from Tacoma who have been in the city the past few days viewing the landscape OCT with one eye upon the mining ln- dustry iu this section. will leave for home on the Dolphin when she sails, where they will arrange their bu,inc,
 affairs and return Go engage in mining near White Pass These gentlemen are highly infatuated W.th the pros pect, oi thi, section, and being tho roughly familiar with the ins and outs 'oi mining. do not hesitate iu saying that there Is every show m the world tor rich finds iu this immediate sec ton During their stay m Skagw1y they have busted themselves in pros pccting adjacent Go the town and while they do not say that anything oi value ha, been discovered. they do say that enough Ina, been found Co warrant their return as speedily a. possible in order Co make a showing before the cold weather set, iu They will bring several gentlemen back with them who are deeply interested in Alaska mining proposition, and the company will work together in developing what these gentlemen term a good thing
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
FUNERAL OBSEQUIES
Tho Funeral Ofw. T. mR wnl Take
 Place This Morning

Funeral services will take place this morning at TO o'clock in the Y. NJ. C. A. hall m memory of the late w. T.. lliff. who died anthe hospital last Sun day morning. After the services, which will be conducted by the RevS, Coving- ton and Harrison, the remains will be shipped to the Sound for interment, and an that remains earthly of the late deceased will be laid to rest until the final day of reckoning. when he will gather with the hosts and await his reward in the new land of unforeseen and unknown quantity. The pail bear CTS of the occasion are; (. A. Sehl- brcde. F. Johnson, Albert Williams. J. McNaughton, E. J. Liddicoat and E. F. Telkey An friends of the de- ceased are cordially invited to be prCI- cnt and pay their last respects to a worthy citizen and a companionablc and honest neighbor
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
THEY ARE ON Tilt WING
TrAvslsrs Who Are Known Com
 tinuAlly Coming and Going

Mir O. Dixon. a prominent mining man from the White Horse country. came m last night and leaves this morn ing tor home. Mr. Dixon Is interested in some rich copper properties in that section and Is down after stock oi good, and mining machinery He says the outlook Is No. | for the full develop ment oi thc mine, thi, summer
 Mrs. L.. Cross. oi White Horse. is stopping at the Dewey u waiting for an outside boat
 l.. M Stevenson White Horse bus mess man. Is registered at the Dewey
 Charlc, Mycrs. oi White Horse. |. iu thc city waiting for a Seattle boat
 Purscr James Hunter, oi White Horse. who last year ran on the upper riyer steamers. arrived in SkagWay on yesterday afternoons train He goes Co thc Sound and from there will ship on a Nome steamer.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
BUSY SEASON IN ATLIN
The Gold Commi.sionor For Atlin
 District In the City

! D Graham. gold commissioner ..r t. \tu anal rorcupiuc districts. T. m tnc c.y. Mr. Graham reports tH.t vur, ou tbc ,luou, clum, m these H,tr,t, are promising well and precincts tuJt tll, season, output Dl'l .>...I tru-e ui former year, 1y at least h.I Iro,pgCtur, ore busy on ..um. .nJ making new locations. and altogether tlc outlook Was rcNrr .-l.t.r t.r J pro,pcrou, year The or. U. prosperity hl, reached in-'c n.-u,ua- district, and thc mirN 'i murl men and capital are '-l 'hft could h. wished i.r or ~Vn'ci'l iic expect. O. return m l few hy, ,' look alter f.. many duties Q" '"u1 W, o. ... ..". mm and keep l Uca.h.r eye .u f.. ..I uutuu.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
The Humboldt Coming

\ report m circulation at the wharycs today states that the Humboldt upon her return from Nome. will be again placed on the Seattle Skagway route The Humboldt is trim and fast and of- hcered with as fine a set of men as ever donncd the uniform Trade Co Lynn canal ports is picking mp at a rapid pace and it is inJimated that the Humboldt will be under control of one oi the old companies
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
River Is Rising

The Skagway river is getting up a reputation for itself by trying to get over the banks and m the farmers gar den patches 10 rose about five inches yesterday and ii the warm weather con- tinues it may make a visit to the near by dwellings oi itS river home. Plenty of spow m the mountains, with warm Sunshiny days has a tendency Co put the stream on its metal
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
Taken Possession

Robert Oakiord moved into d, Lew house. corner of Tenth avenue and M am street. yesterday Mr. )lkiprd commenced hiS building some tNo months ago and just got it in shape for occupancy He Is finishing it rn iu the very best style and with the best quality oi material at hand Good. sub ,tanull houses are a monument Co the city and Skagway can boast oi this quality
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
Leaving and Going to Work

Aru. pr,,,lyu, Burke oi thc Long .h.r.u,r- u.ou. icit thi, morning ..- tH- pur,ur.uc. and the building for mr-t occupied hy this organization h. l.- closed t1 bushes, indefinite N m. Ir-.l.r-mcu iu general have scattered and thcr. remain, but a hand u- . chem uha N.u probably go Co ..r. .f tre u'I scale
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
A New BuiidInE

Mr. Er.y has just completed. and now ..cuue,. a ueltGnd tidy siN-room ...-... 10 Camp l No pains were ...-,I on. workmanship or hui,h .mI t.. building present, au appear .... ...unI tu none u thc ciN Ne understand ibc lady coutcmntt,> erecting another building at uo lar I.f. m fh. same locality
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
Private Grant Back

Private Grant. of the United States army stationed at Skagway. who was sent Co Sitka several months ago Tor a misdemeanor. has returned and been He went on duty several days ago and once again assumes the roll of protecting his flag and his conn fry
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
LAais.' Guild.

The Ladies' Gulld will meet with Mrs. Geo. E. Howard Thursday afternoon. Business of importance Is to come up for consideration, and a full attendance Is urgently requested.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
Arc You Going to Nomei

Then get the latest reliable map oi the Kokukuk Blue Stone. Council City. Nome. Port Clarence and Copper River mining districts. Price SO cents Issued by the Seattle Daily Times. Sent on receipt of price. tt
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
Tailoring.

For stylish and good fitting clothes go to F. Wolland. who is receiving ;he latest and most fashionable report on tailoring every month. Clothes dye cleaned and repaired. I2 tl q
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
N Cutter shoes at CIayson's

The Ladies Bazaar keeps only first. cless goods and we need no Altera, ton sale to get rid of old style stock. New Persian silks just received, also a choice line of spike points in new designs.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1901-06-20
Stenographor and Typewriter

N,-, Pearl pcut hls opened an .Hce Nth J O. Price 7th avenue. and l. now prepared to do private work Terms reasonable o.