The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-10-13
FUN OF THE WORLD.

An excellent bun was perpetrated in the
house of commons at I.s1 one morning
Mr. O'Donnefl was the author. he rose
suddenly 10 his feet and cut into the de-
bate with: At this late hour OF the
morning. Mr.. Speaker --T Early hour.
You mean from the government benches.
Well. Mr. Speaker, he continued. at
this early hour of the following day
Once. while Daniel Webster was speak
ing IN the senate on the subject of in
terusl improvements the senate clock
began 70 strike. but instead Of striNinA
twice az p. m. IL continued without
cessation more than fovty times All eyes
were turned 70 the clock. and Mr.. Web
ster remained silent until it had struck
about twenty times. when ne thus appeal
ed 70 the chair; Mr.. President. this
clock is out OF order. ] have tbs ioor!''
<
IN amusing story Is told by a we'll
known business man Of PHILADELPHIA. who
recently was introduced TO John u. Rookie
Teller AR Rockefellers favorite pastime
outside Of business hours is pitching
quoits, al which he is said 70 be ,-ery
clever He was speaking Of this same
when some one asked him if he ever play
cd golf Coli" was Mr.. Rockefelier's
reply. II don't know anything about
golf wouldn't even know how 10 hold
my caddie."
z8 zg
Scottish noble lard. famed among his
friends for his saving or. as he would
have put il himself. his careful propen-
sites. went out one day shooting in his
broad mOors. accompanied only by his
keeper. After an afternoons hard work.
he sat down 10 rest, and ruefuny con-
templatirg his bag" observed thought
fully, And 10 think that each brace has
cost me. first and last. az least IS shnl-
ings, Donaldr "Eh. eh"' answered
Donald, consoliagly. then It's a miracy
Yer hardship missed the many We did to-
day, for its a nice bit we've saved. I'm
thinking"
gzs
A famous scholar. whose hobby was the
derivation OF words. had occasion TO store
his furniture while proceeding 10 the con-
tinent in quest of the origin of the term
"Jusgins." During his researches in Ber-
lin he received from the warehouse com
pany the following letter. Sir. We have
the honor TO inform you that the nattra IS
you sent 70 our store had the moth In IT,
Since the epidemic would expose the goods
of other clients 10 injury. we have caused
your mattrass TO be destroyed"
The scholar replied; Dear Sir-Afy mat
tress may. as you say. have had moth in
it, but am confident that it had an e.
in it also"
q ZEE
In the seventies. the artist Anton Won
Werner, was appointed 10 perpetuate the
German imperial proclamation. He tirst
made sketch 20 submit TO the o'd En-
peror William. In this the various per
sonages were grouped In the same order
as during the ceremony at Versailles. VIII
liam the First standing on a raised plat
form, with Bismarck at his left. on a
lower step and on his right the crown
prince whom the artist had represented
with one foot on the upper level The en-
perOr examined the sketch and at once
noted the position Of the Crown Prince
Frederick. He frowned. took his pencil
and made a thick. rapid stroke through
his SON right leg Not yet" he said
"a sR
Gladstone was fond OF lettering around
the secondhand book shop windows. ana
lingering the volumes which were dis
played. IF he picked up a book that in
terested him. he frequently became quite
oblivious 10 his surroundings On one
Of these occasions. a loafer who must
have carefully studied Mr.. Gladstone's
habits. whispered quietly, Half a crown.
please. sir, - Without raising his ewes fror.
the book Mr.. Gladstone put hls hand in
his pocket. and handed over th. half
crown A few minutes later he was going
off with his prize. when the bookseller.
who knew him well by sight. stopped qlfa
with 4 demand for one shilling. the price
of the book. But I have already given
YOU half a crown said Mr. Gladstone.
and explanations followed
2 = X x
AS the daily train reached Vermont
village. the other day. an antique looking
iame thrust her head out OF the window
opposite the refreshment room and briefly
shouted:
Sonny
A bright looking boy came up TO the
window.
Little boy" she said. have you
nother2'
Yes ma'am."
do YOU go to SCHOOL,"
yes. ma am"
do you say your prayers every night"
Can 1 trust you to do an errand for
ne2"
YES. ma'am."
Il think I can. too" said the lady.
ooking steadily down on the manly face.
Here is cents 10 get me an apple. Re
member. God sees you.
x <
Representative John IT. ketchum of the
New York district IL very deaf.
,ut don't YOU try 20 fool MIN. He can
cad your lips. He IS very clever AZ Il. s
hort time ago enc II Mr. Ketchum's con-
titUents got stranded IN Washington.
md hunted up his representative IN con-
yress who IS very rich.
Lend me ten dollars. VIII you. Nfr.
<etchGm. 20 get home asked the com
titucnt.
Hey" replied Representative Ketchusn. /
IS be made a horn Of his hand close be- /
lind his ear.
Lend me twenty dollars. viii you2 ]
IA stuck and want 20 get home. voci-
Grated the constituent
You said ten dollars first" replied ar I
Setchum what DO you mean by asking (
OF twenty dollars
The constituent waz chagrined. bar ne /
COX the ten dollars.
ESz
IN 4 saloon On Chicago rho late Eugene I
FIELD once announced % his friends that
Re- was broke-a face which did not ssr- 4
rise them. a. be was generally "far1 F.
ID There happened 20 b. @ harEnr-ou I
d the crowd. one az those whose con.
ideTabfe ambition ls % SAG they have
haker hands ard touched viasses ulth n 4
celebrity. Calling the poet ~ one side De- &
aiI- Now J hope you'll take no cnenee. 4
ut I understood you - say you hsd rln
hort or money III that BE- true I could I
q glad ~ obliged you With ter "Eow
are vou.' snapped Field afeclfrr great {
ldlRrauon. Il don't even Know rr1r
ane Peg pardon Thousand fines
sspouded the other. - meant ro 9fease
assure sou thought maybe you mishr
e able 10 Use fhe money Please forget
s." Field vas sllert fer moment ~ -
deen thought. and ther slowly lraEie3
Forget 81, ali right VIII or ore cer-
Itfon. on shat coH1lt9u7 -o1 cep-
.tion thar you make z aftssn.