Semi-weekly Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1897-1901, 1901-08-27
GLIMPSEs OF LIFE.


Probably IA Broker
Wife to unhappy husband -"
wouldn't worry, john 1t doesn't dc
any good to borrow trouble. -
Hushanu-" BorroSing trouble, Ny
dear, m not borrowing trouble; We
got 1t to Iced. Exchange.
Cruel Girl.
"Your conversation, Mr. Hevinan, -
said Miss Peppefy, suppressirg a
yawn, reminds me Of some chem
payne.
"Ah :" exclaimed Hevimar, much
pleased, so srarklrg a. that?'
No, hut it's extra dry ?"-Phila.
delphia Press.
| His Great Anxiety.
Athlete" Did I--preak-t doc
tori
Dcctor-''l will be plain with YOU.
| TIE arm is broken, the collar tone
crashed. the skull is fractured -"
Athlets-"No, 20, no. Tte-did |
| break the -
What"
Record It'd Bits.
sor. on the oid Man
He Sid he'd rather go to jill than
pay hi. divorced wife alimory.'
"Did she Let him go?'
ties: she said she'i rather zee him
have his money behitd the bars than
sp-nd it over them. '-Cleyelsnd Plain
Desler.
The Gentleman Farmer.
City friend tenviously -" Having a
garaen of Your oan, don't srose yon
tuy any fresh vegetables all summer
Mr. Isolate Of Loneyille lregretfullyl
- No BY the time | give up wait
ing for ours to grow al the fre.h
vegetables are out OF season. -
Contagious Confusion.
"Chi.chi children, began the
timid Young mar, who had been ar
pointed a teacher in the Sunday
school, "of course, you are familiar
with the story Of the swallow that
whaled Jonah -er-er the swaile that
wallowei Jonsh-cr- that is. the
whale the Jonahed-um--um- the
follow thtt whsled the swale-I mean
- err the jail that swallowed wonah -
err gug gug-' tChoked
Il presume, Brother Simps," said
the superintendent kindly, you mean
the Jonah that swallowed the--er--er
that is---'
"Ye yes, sir" responded the timid
young man; that is what | mean.
Hard Questions.
Vistor--'So you go to Sunday
SCHOOL? | suppose you have to answer
great many ni%cult qresttionss"
1ommy-"Yes, ma'ar."
Visitor" Well, which do you find
the most difficult"
Tommy" How | got sand in my
SHIRT and nv head wet in church -
Philadelphia Record.
Disqualified.
Credit man Sorry, sir. but we
cannot open Ri account with you be-
cause of your financial standing"
Rlubbtop-"What' the matter with
it?''
why, you've always paid cash. -
Brooklyn Life.
Escape His Deserts.
lis that your congressman.
larges" iuquired visitor, pointing
to distinguished incumbent of
place of honor
Yes" anssered local expert CT
official character, ''he is, but he
shouldn't be. Richmond Despatch.
No Cause for Alarm.
Mrs Bl4uk-'Oh Henry, you
must send for the doctor at once. !
believe | am getting the dropsy. Now,
don't delay moment. -
Mr. Blank - Why, what put that
idea into your head?"
Dear me! Will you never be salts |
fed that what | say is true. | got
weighed today, and ON, it's awful! |
weighed 500 pounds -
What! Where did you get |
weighed"'
"kourd at your coal yard. -
"Calm yourself, my dear; your
weight is exactly $50 pounds It'd
hits.
A Possibility.
II wonder why Noah couldn't con-
vince his wicked neighbors of the
dangers of tlood:"
Maybe, answered the Kansas
farmer. discontenteuly, sit was
because they had planted corn, and
weren't afraid of rain 10 any guam
tity. "-WashiDgton Star
Serious Matter.
Bildecl, TT saw the doctors car
rage al your house yesterday. Any
thing serioUsg"
Gasser--''I should SAY so! He want
I'd To collect his bill "-Towr ard
Country.
He Defined "spinster".
A correspondent sends hot-weather
liberation on the part of an office.boy,
shich is also 10 derivation. He
brought 5 ,me deeds, the signatures TO
which bad been attested by lady
vino had not appended her description.
Was she spinsterf" the hoy was
skei. Yes, sir, she rides bicycle, ="
he replied readily "Spinster, a lady
no goes for spln," is definition