The Savannah morning news., 1901-11-03
rhe Invention. Of George.

George has just finished another in
vention." said old Mr.. Husselman. ac-
cording to the Chicago Record Herald.
as he breathed hard on his spectacles
and then began polishing them with his
handkerchief. 'ie came to me this
mornin' with the confidentest look
almost ever seen on human face and
says:
Dad, I've got it at last
Well. says l, you seem to be bear
in up pretty we'll. What is it, the
appendicitis or golf?'
No. he answered. you don't I'M
derstand me. I've got an invention
that'll come as a boon to the people
of this country.
" Good says I. What this coun-
try needs most is boons. 1t has a lot
of 'em, admit-more any other coun-
try in the world-but people never can
have too many of them kind of things.
May the day never come when well
be boonless. AS long as we have
boons we can put up with a good many
other things that nobody has ever
found out the use of yet. One boon
in the house has often made people for
get that the hired girl was goin' to
quit at the end of the week. Next
to mint julep on hot night dunno
Of anything I'd rather have around
than a good, useful boon. If we have
boons enough we can keep happy in
spite of the fellows that tramp on
your feet and tear the buttons off from
our clothes tryin' to crowd past so as
to get out of the elevator first. AS the
poet saws
Let us then be up and doing,
We can make this old world gay
If We'll all of us keep strewing
Little boons along the way.
$50 says I, if you've invented a
boon I don't blame you for feelin' en-
Outraged. It's not every Teller that
goes through college who can do as
much. What's your boon like?'
ITS a cowcatcher to be fastened
on the front end of the automobile.
says he. You can see for Yourself
that the time has come for the intro
duction of such an attachment. Peo-
pie are tired being run over themselves
or seeing their children run over
But says l, "a cowcatcher ais
understand it is made to save the thing
it's fastened to more than the thing it
hits. I don't see why it wouldn't be
just about as painless to get run over
and killed on the spot as to be flung
into the next township, where there
wasn't a solitary haystack to light on.
dE
George, SIS made more like a fender
on a street car. It'll pick up a. child
and carry it along. There's where the
great thing about it comes in"
" George I told him, you mean
we'll, but If you was a parent you'd
understand that almost any man would
rather know his child was dead than to
see it carried off so he could never be
sure afterward that the poor little
thing wasn't starving or being abused
or something.
But he answered, the man that
was running the automobile could stop
when he had picked up a child and
give 1t to its parents, you know
That kind of discouraged me. I'd
got to hopin' that mebby George was
beginnin to notice things enough so
he could draw reasonable conclusions,
but that showed he hadn't.
You don't think the automobile
scorcher would take the time to stop
and toss a baby off from his fender
when by doin' it he might miss breakin'
a record, do your I asked. If he had
to do that he might just as we'll slow
down and give the little one a chance
to run out of the road, and, of course,
you couldn't expect he'd waste time
that way
by jing!' he said, that's so! But
I'm not going to give it up vet. I'll
see if I can't fix it so the automobiler
can press a button and make the fen
der drop the child out at the side be-
fore they get more than mile or two
past where it was picked up
Il dunno. George may strike it yet. "