Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1901-07-25

ed, a good. bright, keen man in every
community to do special detective
work. Good pay and steady employ
ment, with chance for promotion.
Write quick to Work En- AIS De-
tective Agency, New York City"
Has any one tried to work you for a
sucker Uncle Bill?" said the editor.
Not very recently, but | use ter be q
fish what would go by the name NV
sucker. Why, | use ter go round look
In fer sumthin' ter nibble at. an | bit
good an hard at one NV them ere detec-
tive agency's advertisements once"
did you? That is news to me. |
never knew that you had ever had any
detective aspirations.
"Oh, most every young Teller has got
an idea that he's natural born detec-
tive, an it's a sort NV a natural desire
ter be nosin' inter sum one else's biz
ness as makes him think So"
'Do you speak from experience.
Uncle Bill?"
Yer kin jest bet | do bought $l5
worth NV it on the detective bizness."
did you ever detect any criminals in
their nefarious schemes?" asked the
editor, anxious to get Uncle Bill start
ed
WAL, yer don't think fer mint
that I'd pay SIS ter become a detective
an not detect enything, do your"
what did you ever detect, Uncle
Bm?"
WAL, bout the brightest piece NV
work | ever done at il was ter detect
that I'd bin durH big sucker, 'spendin'
my money fer the outfit what they
worked me fer ter buy in order ter ber-
come first-class wise guy, in my own
estimation"
Didn't you ever get enough fun out
of it TO get even?''
Il guess III tell yer bout that part
NV it, said Uncle Bill. as he leaned
back in his chair and nearly lost his
balance, saving himself by hooking the
toe OF his boot in under the editors
armpit Yer see I was like this, A
stores bin broke inter, was the excitin'
cry one mornin', and NV course look
ed wiser than an owl when heerd 1t. an
l said ter myself, Now. I'll show EN-
who's bright round here So | walk
ed down ter the store, which was run
! by 'Cy' Prewett, an"
ICY Prewett? never heard OF
him"
"Uy course yer didn't. He lived in
York State, an so did | at the time.
This happened when | was young fell
Ter. an knew it all, an had sum ter
spare. WAL, Ezra Hokum invested In
the detective bizness. too. an that's
why I'm tellin' yer bout 1t; as | was
saying, walked down ter 'Cy's' store
an heerd 'em talk bout what had bin
took. So ! stood round first on one
| leg an then on t'other. an 'Cy said
That so fur he'd missed box nv her
rim an kit NV mackeril,' but he'd
give $40 ter git the thief"
II expect you found him all right,
Uncle Bill" said the editor, appearing
deeply interested.
"Yer Jest wait, an III tell yer. Me
an Ezra Hokum was both there II
heather one Nv us knowed the other
was a detective. an NV course we was
a-lookin' after clue. an struck one.
"Yon did? What was II?
"A niece NV cheese dun the work. In
walkin' round the store | spied thin
| slice nv cheese what had bite TOOK
out nv Il. an had the prints Nv row
nv teeth in It, an SO ! naturally said 10
myself, All, ha, Mr.. Thief, yer WASH I
SO durn smart, after Ell. an ! slipped
the cheese inter my pocket, but Ezra see
me do it. WAL. ! didn't know that
an started fer the creek.
What did you go to the creek for
IF yer ever has eny good hard think
| in ter do, yer want to go an set on the
banks NV creek cause there's where
yer gifts yer inspiration.
Eyes. you sit | presume. On the
green messy banks where the butter
cups grew.
WAL | sit on the bank Nv the creek
an | wasn't thinkin' bout eny green
messy banks. an didn't care a durn
where the buttercup growed, but was
tbjpkin' NV that piece NV cheese. an
the burgler, an so | took out the
cheese: an a hankerin' cum over me
ter take a bite NV it. SO took a bite
an Law the rest NV 1t down on the grass
berside NV me an tried ter think Nv
sum Teller whose teeth would fit the
bite in the cheese. WAL. Ezra crm
up an ] never heerd i'm. He swiped
| the cheese an cut IL in two an threw
down the piece what the supposed bur
gler had bit chunk out NV an put the
other In his pocket. WAL, Ezra's dog
eat I'D the piece he had throwed away
| an say, ! was fHdu, Dul uluil ! uai 2
let on. an Ezra laughed an said, BIZ,
| the cog likes cheese, too, sorry he spill
ed yer lunch WAL, we went zip town
an my dog cum out an pitched onter
Ezra's. They was both good fighters,
an Ezra went inter the store an got a
handful NV pepper ter throw inter the
dogs eyes, cost ter make EN- stop
| fghtin'. ! thought he throwed more
pepper inter my dogs eyes than he did
\ inter hisn. SO ! pitched onter Ezra an
the town constable cum up an arrested
both NV us for flghtin',"
Say. that was pickle for tive de-
tectivea To be in"
Eyes, an that wasn't the worst Nv
IL. Ezra accused me NV bein' the bur
| gler an produced the cheese with my
footprints In IL as proof.
"How did you get out Of it,
ooh. me n Ezra 10th got fined SO
apiece fer hghtin', and the storekeeper
cum out an said that the burglery was
all Joke. He had heerd that me ar
Ezra had become detectives an put up
a job on ne.
| Iafa ipa