Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-06-12

to-day. He-Good girl She-And the
milliner says that she can trim 1t beau
tifully for only $50 more.-Somerville
Journal @
Jimson-New York walters frequent
ty get 500 week in tips. Jester /.
Gee whiz, it's wonder their employ ,
ers don't ask 'em for job.-Ohlo State
Journal.
Expensive Sauce: "What are you to-
day-a bull or bear?" 'Neither.
am a lamb" "AIint saucer" "Yes.
United States mint sauce.-Chicage
Tribune. Il. e
An Excuse: Mistress-Another break
too! How ever did you do 1t? Jane
(sobbing)-They always break-when
I-drop 'em. Punch.
"Becky Sharp was thoroughly
worthless woman worthless? Oh,
say, look at the money Thackeray and
Mrs. Fiske. have made out of her.
Chicago Record Herald.
Fanny-Now when l am asked to
sing | never say, "Oh, | can't" but
always sit down at the piano
Annle-And let the audience find 1t out
for themselves Tit Bits
ITS easy to be n great novelist now
adays; the last work Is always the
best" "Yes 1t used to be that authors
died. and their works lived now the
authors live and the works die."-Llfe.
A Merciful Dispensation: Daughter
oh, but men are so hdeously lacking
in self-control! Mother-Don't get
feyerlsh about IL. dear. II they weren't,
most girls would die old maids Brook
lyn Life.
Interurban Badinage: "Your town.
said the Chicagoan, ''is called the City
of Straits l believe" "Yes," replied
the Detroiter; "and yours, | supposed
might be known ms the City Of
Crooks Philadelphia Record.
LADY, don't like this picture so W.
as did the last one you took Of mel
Photographer-Ah, madam, | have mol
the artistic taste that ! had when
was young; and besides my camera Is
getting old.-New York Weekly.
There Were Tears: "Did you ever
run away when you were a boyT
"Once." "And l. suppose the fears
flowed freely when you returnedF-
"Yes. | made the mistake of going
back when father was at home."-Ex-'
change
Towne-Poor Peck suffers a good
deal on account of dyspepsia Browne
Nonsense! l see him nearly every
| day at his office, and he Towne-
| o! he only suffers when he's at home.
It's his wife who has the dyspepsia
Philadelphia Press.
81 guess mebbe John Is goin' to be
great financier an git money by his
brains" remarked Farmer Corntossel.
"Does he take such an interest In COM
mercial affairs?" "No. But he's got
to get livin' somehow. An he jes'
won't work Washington Star.
81 wonder why it is that poets so de-
light to sing about the joys of spring
time" ~ suppose" said Mr. Sirius
Barker as he took dyspepsia tablet,
''that it's because poets seldom settle
down and experience the terrors of
housekeeping" g."-Washington Star.
1.-The thief thoroughly ransacked the
house." said a Hutchinson paper, "but
failed to find anything of value" And
the next day the lady came furiousiy
into the office and told the editor that
she had as many things of value in her
house as anybody-so there, now!-
Kansas City Journal.
81 suppose you don't entertain much
serious consideration for all these pass
ing fads in politics." "Oh, | don't
know" answered Senator Sorghum. II
am not as much adverse to fads as you
might imagine. | can readily see how
good bit of money could be made out
of them. Washington Star.
Phrenologist enthusiastically
sir, your bump of veneration is the
greatest have ever seen; such bump
should make you bishop. Delighted
Subject-Begorra, an is that so? Well,
I'll get Paddy Nolan to give me another
whaek in the same place, and I'll be
archbishop at once.-Tit tBits.
ne DiS Ottdh SiVy houhN i"b itie
her pier and was steaming down New
York bay. what is that you're read
ing, my friend?" asked II jovial passen,.
ger. "'To Have and to Hold" replied
the man addressed. 'sAh,, yes; a trea-
tise on how. to prevent seasickness.
: Nothing in it, my boy! Nothing in it,"
: -Yonkers Statesman. ~ -,
Woodland repartee: "Well,' If You
haven't still got that red yeste' 'ex-
claimed the jaybird, when he met the
robin. "They are still the proper thing
answered the robin; ''at least, the jays
have not taken to them yet" The
early worm here putting in an appear
ance, society chit-chat was laid aside
for the practice of benevolent assimila-
indianapolis Press.