The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1901-05-31

pumpkin pie is pumpkin PIE, anu
you can't neither make gingerbread
nor bean soup out Of it,"
His words made Adiniron mad, and
the two had a jaw lastin fur half an
hour. AS both were church members
they didn't come to blows, but they
was never to be good friends ag'in.
The next time they met Moses Wheeler
tried to look as mean as he could and
stuck up his nose and said:
"Waal, Adiniron, are you turnin out
many pumpkin pies with skunk's cab
bage fur seasonin nowadays?
mot many. Noses" said Adiniron,
with a CLINT in his eye, ''only jest huff
to feed tie town fool on"
That was the way the thing went
on. Them two men never met any
where, except in church or prayer
meetin, that they didn't fling out at
each other. Moses contended that
what Lucrezia Borgia used to pisen
off people with was pumpkin pie with
ginger in it. and Adiniron brung for
ward proofs that Socrates, Plato, PHI
ny, Shakespeare, Columbus, Napoleon
and Washington used ginger in their
pumpkin pies and wouldn't hev 'em
without. After three years of argu-
ment and dispute Moses weakened
enough to say that leetle nutmeg
grated into pumpkin helped the taste
of the pie but he wouldn't yield a
hairs breadth on ginger. If there was
q huskin bee. barn raisin or a log
rollin, them two men was allus there,
and jest as soon as they sighted each
other the dispute began. 1t finally
split up the town into Gingerites and
Nutmegites, and there was a heap of
I hard feelin's At various times the
ministers tried to bring about recon
Citation. They'd go to Adiniron and
ask him fur the good of the community
to weaken on his ginger. and they'd
go to Moses and tell him that if the
spire of the Baptist church was ever
to be finished off he'd got to let pump.
kin pies go and talk of doughnuts OF
turnovers. Both men would think il
over and promise and agree to shake
hands the next time they met and call
it. all off. They'd meet at the postotfice
and they'd shake hands and purtend tC
be sorry, but it wouldn't be two minits
before Adiniron would say:
Moses reckon you've heard OF
that fellow Milton, who wrote Para
, disc Lost?"
.Of course"
"Mighty smart man, wasn't hep
you pet"
"Waal, his wife used ginger in he1
pumpkin pies
That would bust everything up ag'in
and the old quarrel would be resumed
and probably at the next prayer meetil
Moses would ask heaven to bear will
them of dcpraved tastes and Adinirol
would appeal that them who didn'
know nuthin shouldn't he cut off il
their ignorance like a green Eastwood
tree.
1t was only few nights ago that tn,
end came Both men had got old ant
feeble and ailin in body. but thei
minds was still sot as hard as ever
Adiniron had bin talllin most all da,
with windmill man. and Moses hat
had a tin peddler at his house over
night. and both had got a heap of new
4 III. w lleu luey SuulleIeu III
, to the postoffice at o'clock, Adinirol
puts on grin and says:
''Moses. you've heard of them pyra
mids of Egypt. l reckon?"
"Know 'em like a book" says Moses
"but they wasn't built of your kind o
pumpkin pies"
''No, they wasn't, but the men VIII
built 'em was fed on my kind of pump
kin pies I've got the figgers right her
of jest how much ginger was used ey
cry week. If it hadn't bin fur ginger
there'd hev bin no pyramids; neve
could hev bin built on plain pumpki
pies in all this world
"Mebbe not" says Moses, "but the1
pyramids are no great shakes Mebb
you are aware that Christopher Colun
\ bus diskivered American"
Give heard So"
"And what did he do it on?''
Ambition"
"Not much! Adiniron Tompkins. "