Evening star., 1901-06-01
WILL NEVER DO 1T AGAIN

'Dog-gone that laundry man." muttered
the swagger young foreign Office clerk
"hen ne returned to his Sc per week board
ing mousse room after o'clock the other
evening and looked into his clothes closet;
ne nasnt been here for my stuff, and I'm
shy OF collars, at that Well, If I'm to go
TO that feed at the We're de Veres next
MONDAY night I'll have to have linen, and
so spose I'll have to carry this wash
down to the laundry, myself
lie wrapped his things to be laun6ered
up IN a piece OF newspaper, tieing the
package with piece of pink tape from
the foreign office, and walked toward the
l4th street car, feeling very hang-dog,
with his bundle Under his arm.
Wnlle he was waiting for the car at
tne ;n corner OF 14th street there was a clank-
,.n. the naughty Mrs. Heapmuch and her
Dilthe' merry-eyed daughter, Miss May
Ethyl Ysobel Heapmuch, clattered by.
me ne s"agger young foreign office clerk
1asl QUICK glance at the slot in the mid
ole or the car track, as if medtating a
SUDDEN disappearance therethrough, but
inere appeared to be nothing doing in that
a dine, ana SO, pushing his bulky package
as uuch pehlnd him as possible, he look
eu up ana received the short inclination of
tne mead OF Mrs. Heapmuch, who adjusted
ner plnce-nez to stare at the package, and
Iile smlilns salutation of the blithe Miss
I1eapHlucn, who rubbered quite lot as
,at. tne carriage went by to examine the !aun-
dry bundle tied up with pink tape
JUST my beastly luck, you know
n1Iarsely ,l.Iy mumbled the foreign office youth,
tne corner. Why, I'd as soon be caught
carrying my lunch to the Office"
NE ne was still u waiting for the car when a
man man named skipalong. person whom he
w, 10
worked In the plebeian pension office As
Wen as because his trousers We're rarely,
~ ever. properly creased, stepped off car
that was going north.
Hello, there" said the Skipaioag uerson
TO the sWagger young foreign office clerk,
taking your spring coat down to hook it,
l see: Wise guy; they'll keep the moths
do with the $2,'
me foreign office youth only smiled in q
weak, colorless way at this pleasantly and
tnen ne swung aboard the car that oppor-
tunely came along
He had intended remaining on the roar
Platform of the car, but in the third from
the last crosswise seat he beheld the lovely
ana amlable Miss Fishface, who sings in
tne eholr OF his church, smiling in his direc-
tlon, and there was nothing for It except to
90 the pest he could toward raising his hat
ana making for the vacant seat beside her.
his bundle was a good deal Jared as he
enaeavored to swing along the footboard,
the lovely and amiable Miss Fishface and
deposited the horrible bundle in his lap
tnere were several stable rents in the
newspaper wrapping thereof. The foreign
once youth ground his teeth in impotent
rage while he gave the high handshake to
MISS Ffshface and asked how it was that
sne was still In town. and if she intended
going to Newport this summer and mem
tloneo IN casual way that he was thinking
some OF spending his leave at the North
his
Miss Fishface's gaze seemed, however. to
De Fascinated by the bundle on the lap of
the swagger foreign office clerk, and when
ne followed her gaze and examined the bun
die she pushed' Violently. and so did he,
ana then he went oN talking faster than
ever. Tor protrudfng Through a large rent
IN the newspaper wrapping was an article
that looked lot like the neckband of a
shirt, and the Glocking of a sock was dis
tnctly visible through another hole in the
paper. The foreign Office youth talked moth
Ing but unintelligible ragtime to his fair
companion when he made this horrifying
discovery. and she at length looked closely
at hlm and noting his flushed counten-
ance, probably reached the conclusion that
he had been drinking more than was good
for him, for she bade him a very stiff good
afternoon indeed when she alighted from
the car at X street.
At the transfer station he debarked from
the car to take the green car westward.
Tor his laundry wasn't many squares from
the foreign Office.
Much confused and very sore, he swung
aboard the rear platform Of the green car
AS he did so. young plumbers appren-
tice, with an armfal of tools wrapped in q
piece of carpet, crowded by to get off
the car, and in dong so he knocked the
frazzled newspaper bundle of laundry clean
out of the arm of the swagger young for
eign Office clerk.
The bundle fell between the car tracks
and the tape slipped off, and a very mis-
cellaneous collection Of shirts and collars
and cuffs and socks and things f1opped all
over the concrete just at the moment when
the peachy-skinnad Miss Dearme swished
up to step into the car.
The swagger young foreign office clerk.
however, didn't go much as cast a glance
at his burst package He bowed and bestow-
ed sweet smile upon the peachy-skinned
Miss Dearme. and then started forward on
the footboard to join her
BEG pardon, SIR said the conductor
touching him on the arm. but isn't that
your wash?"
No" replied the foreign office youth
swallowing gulp and then the conductor
grinned wisely, pulled the bell, the car
went ahead while q, black newsboy swoon-
ed upon the deserted wash and gathered it
up in an armful.