The Bourbon news., 1901-12-20
JOKE ON THE PRESIDENT.
How Some Students Got the Head OF
a College Locked Up in an
Asylum.

has been handed down from class to
class like some famous heirloom.
The older alumni still remember the
particular incident when a college
prank seriously Jared the dignity of
oneof its honored presidents, stopped
the session of a Methodist confer
ence and made a stirring scene in a
lunatic asylum.
The venerable president of the in
stitution was on his way to the an
nual session of his conference when
several of the undergraduates sent
telegram to the superintendent of
the insane asylum telling him that
man would arrive late that day say
ing that he was President Blank, of
Blank college, and a member of the
Baltimore conference.
Put him under lock and key, by all
means" it said. ''The man is crazy.
He is perfectly harmless, but his
friends want hifl held, as he has es-
capped from their care
When President Blank left the car
at the station he was somewhat sur
prised to be accosted by stranger,
who said; This way, DR.. Blank.
You are to be my guest"
"All right" was the reply, and the
two took their places in light
buggy. Seeking to learn the peculiar
turn of his companions insanity, the
superintendent queried: Where are
you stationed, doctor?"
"Oh, l am president of Blank col
lege, and a member of the conference
in session here
81 have him all right" said the SUI
perintendent under his breath. ''Now
to keep him from becoming violent"
DR.. Blank expressed some surprise
when the carriage entered the
asylum grounds, but suffered himself
to be led into a room, the door of
which was al once locked.
What are you locking that door
for?" demanded the astonished
guest. Don't bar my liberty as you
would crazy mans. l want no fool.
ishness now. l want you to under
stand that l am President Blank, of
Blank college, and here for the con-
ference sessions. 1 don't expect to
be treated like a lunatic."
plumb crazy" remarked the super
intendent to an attendant standing
near by.
The conference in the little church
around the corner had commenced it's
deliberations when superintendent
Brown for the twentieth time re-
fuSad tho oOllaOa Y,rac;Jar+ on oor,o
munication with outside friends. The
venerable gentleman was now re-
signed to his fate, in the hope that
somehow his brethren would learn of
his predicament and come to his res
cue.
When the presiding bishop of the
conference called for the chairman of
the committee on entertainment to
make his report and received no re-
| spOnse. some surprise was expressed,
as DR.. Blank was known to be always
Punctual. Fearing that he had met
with some accident, messengers were
| dispatched to the telegraph office A
reply was received that the president
had left for the conference hours
before.
At the insane asylum, closely
watched by attendants, the college
president was eating his MONDAY
meal, giving expression to his anger
between bites. The attendants moved
anXiously when he became excited,
ready to restrain him by force From
expressions of anger the unwilling
guest turned to pleadings and en-
treaties, as he sought to explain the
great injustice which he was being
forced to suffer, but to no avail.
Just as the committee detailed to
locate the missing chairman returned
to the conference with no tidings of
his whereabouts, a small boy made
his way to the bishops chair and
said:
''Mr. Bishop, is the man you are
looking for crazy?"
What do you mean, bOy?" retorted
the bishop, glaring at him savagely.
Il am a messenger boy" said the
lad, land 1 delivered a message at the
insane asylum just a few minutes
ago and heard the superintendent
talking about crazy man they had
who thought he was a member of the
conference. had to come here with
a telegram, and when | heard about a
lost man l thought I'd tell you about
the crazy one"
Within 20 minutes, says the New
York Mail and Express, the messen-
ger had piloted four clerical-looking
gentlemen to the insane asylum. and
they at once pronounced the super
intendent's hopeless case" perfectly
sane. A profusion of apologies fol-
lowed from the asylum attendants,
and as the college president was tri-
umphantly led back to his waiting
brethren, the superintendent looked
out of his office window and sighed:
What a crazy man that minister
must have thought l was"
Tobacco Is the Best Insecticide.
Most of the insects common to house
plants dislike tobacco as much as does
- IL, L. I. Z M