The Lewiston teller. (Lewiston, Idaho) 1900-1905, 1901-03-14


! Lover (ardently)-I love tho very
ground you walk on. Heiress-Ah!
thought It was my estates you were At
ter.-Tit-Bits.
Parke-"I've just had my telephone
taken out" Lane-"What forT Parke
my next door neighbor put one in."-
Harper's Bazaar.
Bad Times.-"He has always run his
business like clockwork." Yes, and
now his creditors have wound It up
Philadelphia Bulletin
Mrs. Bicker-There you 80 again! You
always were a fault-dnder. Mr.. Bicker
Sure; and III never forget the day
found you.- Chicago News.
The Bachelor-"S Single blessedness y
good thing" The Benedict-"Well.
isn't double blessedness twice a.
good T'- Yonkers Statesman.
Justice "What were you doing In
Colonel Pullet's chicken coopY' Uncle
Mose-"Fo' de Lawd, Judge, was jes
takin' de census. Harlem Life.
Snarley-"You don't have to be an
artist to draw a check" Yow-"No.
but you have to be royal academician
to get 1t cashed. "-Syracuse Herald.
''Would you start out on journey on
FridayY' "No. indeed" why are
people so superstiuousr 'I'm not su-
perstitious, am paid on Saturday.
Answers.
She-''I wonder why It is that 70
many old maids have fat bank &C
countsY He-"Probably for lack Of
anything else. they husband their 70
sources. Brooklyn Life.
"How did you ever happen to marry
himT' "Why, he made me mad"
Mad? Howr HE acted a. IL hs
didn't think would and rather hoped
wouldn't Chicago Post.
what IL that quiet, inoffensive little
man over there in the cornerr I'm
offensive1 Say, don't you start him up;
he's the professor who 10 master Of
eight languages" Chicago Record.
On the Contrary: vane Glory-I hope
Swainston said nothing about me, me
other night. old chap? Cecil Swarve-
Not Z word, old man; in fact we had
quite an interesting little chat.-Judy.
'Mr. Hardcase," said the minister. Il
saw your son in q saloon yesterday"
ibid your replied Mr.. Hardcase; II
hope he had the politeness to ask you to
have something. Philadelphia Rec.
ord.
City Nephew-"What do you think
Of DR.. Pillsbury AZ q physicianr'
Farmer Hayroob- safest doctor any.
where in this part Of the country
nearly always OF nshin' when he's
wanted.
Hoax-Why 10 the merchant who
doesn't advertise like q man in row.
boat? Joax-Because he goes back
ward, suppose. Hoax-No; because
he has to get along without sales
Philadelphia Press.
His Meaning.-"What do you mean
when You say she lampooned her hus-
bandT asked the magistrate Of the
witness. II mean she threw q lighted
lamp at him." the witness explained
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Warwick-England keeps getting
frieDdlier than ever to us since she got
into trouble with the Transvaal. Wick
wine Yes; she now claims that abe
sympathiSed with us in our war with
the Hessians last century.-Judge.
Fairlie; Jack, have you that ten
pounds / lent you the other day :
Flyntie-Not all Of It old chap; but
what l have win do me day or two
longer. Jolly kind and thoughtful Of
you to inquire, though. Glasgow Even
ing Times.
A Long-sought Friend: Christian Sci.
enlist First, you must eliminate fear.
Witherby Have you no fear? Christian
Scientist None whatver. Witherby--
Then you're just the one I'm looking
for. Come and help me discharge my
cook.-Life.
"Don't you find that Mr.. Asters
poems" said the young poets mis-
guided admirer, ''are full Of words that
burnr' well, no." replied the editor,
II never put them to that test; merely
drop them in the waste basket"-Phil-
adelphia Press
''Don't you get tired" said the talka-
i've customer, standing there hour by
hour ironing one stifI-bosomed shirt
after the otherr' "No," answered the
Chinese laundryman. ut rests me "a
think l don't have to wear them."-
Washington Star.
there IL safety In numbers" aid the
nite conversationalist There L." an.
swered the man who talks on politics;
III you can't convince a man BY you1
argument you can always silence him
by quoting lot Of statistics that he