The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-09-22
SOME HINTS ro rHr euEsr.


 SOME HINTS TO THE GUEST.
 In all the catalogue of social pleasures there is not a more important item than of being guest In the home of friends The duties and matters of good form set down for the guidance of a host and hostess are much dweit upon. but the only accepted rule for the visitor is often simply have a good time''-"get all out of it you can" This without regard to the comfort. pleasure. convenience or task of the heads of the home. It is to be supposed that there is seeking of pleasure. in some degree selfish. in the inviting of guest to become for time an inmate of one's household and the pleasure should be a mutual one. in which both entertainer and entertained take equal part or some one has failed in good form or good breeding.
 From the moment of arrival the guest should conform to the rules or habits of the home and should see to it that his or her presence there does not upset or change the mode of living, for just as near as he or she comes to accomplishing this; just so near has he or she approach ed the desired end of becoming absolutely welcome.
 guest should be as near as possible independent and capable of looking after herself-I will speak only to the woman guest as only she belongs in this de- parament-as no more tiresome task can be given a woman than that of entertain ing guest who needs constant atten- ton and constant diversion-one who is at sea the moment the hostess Is out of sight. It is anything but restful. and the time of departure Is sure to be hailed with joy. There should be times-hours when each is allowed by the other to be free to follow her own sweet way.
 The guest who does not enter into whatever amusement is provided for her by her hostess and friends. and holds back with an air of indifference and ennui is pretty safe from the offense of another invitation. or if she does receive one the hostess must have some other reason than pleasure seeking when she issues it, and looks to that for her reward for the good self-sacrificing deed The woman who announces that she does not Hike card parties" when an invitation to one arrives. "can't stand receptions" when her hostess proposes attending one. cant see any fun in looking at horse race" when a party is made up for one, or is bored to death by picnics," when one forms the feature of the day acts like a wet blanket on the spirits of others and is not a desirable acquisition at a house party.
 No matter what the financial status of the guest she should for the time it her. self into the grooves of the home whose hospitality she Is accepting. If one or two servants form the corps of the help of the family she should not require the exclusive service of one or both of them and should study to add as little work as possible to the running machinery of the establishment. She should look to the keeping of her apartment in order as far as she intuitively sees is the habit of the family Unless she is visiting a family of sufficient wealth to warrant her either carrying her maid or the hostess furnishing her with one-The financial condition of her hostess not her own should determine this she should look after her own belongings and only re- quire the services of the maid for the legitimate cleaning up' of her apart ment which Is the bed, the sweeping, the dusting, the fire and the lavatory ap- pointments. Her personal effects she should keep in order and at all times her room should be attractive to look upon
 know woman who sighed with relief when a guest of whom she is very fond. left her home because she tied the lace curtains up in knot and pinned up the shades to get more light, scratched matches on the wall, split water on the rugs and did like dam age to everything in sight in the pretty company room she had taken such pride in preparing for her visitors reception. If you-guest-are a young lady try rot to look Respondent and utterly bored even if you are-when there are no beaux around. Such desirable commodi- ties can't be kept by the most enterpris- ing hostess always on tap; some days must be dark and drear in the life of the young woman whose whole existence is beaux and she must bear up and hide the fact from her hostess if she wishes to make her chances for another visit good
 It is a bad idea for a guest to attempt to regulate the conduct and opinions of the members of a household in a visit of a few weeks. This is an error into which the middle-aged are apt to fall. A thorn in the side is she who wishes to teach the hostess how to raise the children. how to regulate the husband. how to prepare the more healthful diet how to manage the servants, etc., etc. Judge of yourself as to whether you have been satisfactory visitor by whether or no you are importuned fol