The Sunday globe., 1901-06-16
CASTLES GANG.
Big Chief Johnson, SpOOner, Ben
Allen and Mrs. Blank.
THE MOTHER GOOSE STORIES
And Plays Written by SpoOner and His Assist
an Mrs Blank-The Tyranny and Coarse
ness Of Johnson as Revealed by Former
Cerk-Ben Aliens Little Scheme 10 Use
the Masonic fraternity

me masonic Fraternity,
There is a nice state of affairs in
Sixth Auditor Castles department Of
the Treasury. Love, intrigue, favorit-
ism, libel suits, and all the other kinds
of skulldudgery are always on tap.
The sixth auditor himself is making
desperate fight 70 be retained in his
positio although notoriously incom-
petent to fill the same. His friend,
Mrs. --, who is an accomplished
lobbyist (wOnder If this is libelousO
and who as chaperone of the late Sen
ator Davis and wife has a pull, is
clerk under Castle. Mrs. --- is
Mr., Spooner's asst stant. He is chief
OF the room in Mr.. Ben Aliens diyis-
ion. Mr.. allen wants to be deputy
auditor Mr.. Spooner wants to succeed
Ben Allen, and Mrs. -- wants TO
succeed SpOOner, and there you are.
Castle, of course, wants another term
as sixth auditor now that Pierpont
Morgan owns all the steamship lines
there will be more in this authorship
than ever before.
Mrs. -- is a play-writer and Mr..
Spooner Is a writer of Mother Goose
stories They both co-laborate-that
Is to say, Mrs. -- is assistant to
Spooner and helps him with his Goose
and other stories, and Spooner recip-
rocates by assisting Mrs, --- in con-
cocting striking climaXes to her scenes.
This occupies their Office hours nice
ly and time slips mernly along, Mrs.
- has held down a job only twen-
ty.fve years hence she is no spring
chicken. Us this libelOus, too?)
Castle is delighted, for Mrs, ---
has a string on the Widow Davis, and
the wife of the ex-senator is expected
to use her pull" to keep the incom-
petent Castle at the head Of the depart
ment so that Allen may be deputy aud
itor, Spooner chief of division, and
Mrs. - chief Of the room, vice her
colaborer Spooner, promoted Hence,
too, Mrs. -- can practically do
what she pleases, anu she pleases to
write plays and help out Spooner in
his Mother Goose stories. 1t might be
incidentally stated the parties ito
this suit" appear promptly at the
captains desk twice each month
and draw the money paid in by the
taxpayers to support the government
and pay its hard and Oyerworked SER
wants.
Permitting Mr. Spooner to finish his
latest Mother Goose story and Mrs
-- to put the finishing touches on
the last scene, fifth act of her melo-
drama, we beg leave to again introduce
to our readers Big Chief Johnson, Of
the A. and c. division.
Mr.. Johnson has won the distinction
of being the cOarsest toward women
clerks and the most domineering over
male clerks Of any chief Of division in
the service of the government. If
some of the female clerks whom he
has made shed tears time and again
have any male relations they must
have dish water for blood in their
veins, or else the ladies have kept to
themselves the coarse and offensive
remarks of this burly specimen Of "a
little brief authority" for brief IL will
be if The Globe will ever get him into
court on a witness stand in the Alex
auder or "any other old" libel suit.
Mr.. JohnsOn's methods of running
his division is against not only the
letter and spirit Of the civil service
law, but is in violation of all the can
ons of American manhood and honest
fair play The Globe is prepared to
establish by unimpeachable witnesses
that this pOnderOus and self.suficlent
petty autocTat ordered a male clerk to
sit in a certain portion Of a room given
in his charge, when the following col
loquy took place:
Now, you sit here, where you can
see every clerk in the room. | want
you to report to me daily what they
talk about, their actions and conduct.
1t is necessary for me to know every
thing they do and say, you under
stand" and johnson bent his beeting
brows full on FitE James," but the
Saxon in this case defed him thusly:
"MT. Johnson, l desire to inform you
that | have worked long enough with
these clerks to know that they are la
dies and gentlemen. They attend to
their duties faithfully, AS to report
ing to you, sir, what they say, | re-
spectfully beg TO decline the implied
confidence you repose in my veracity,
and assure you that being born and
raised decently, ! cannot and will not
descend to the low and contemplate
position of a spyl
Johnson gared his wrath. His in
dignatiOn was such that words failed
him for a moment. When he did open
his capacious mouth it uttered or hiss
ed the threat:
you will be sorry for this, sir"
He turned on his heel as gracefully
as a freight Loaf leaves its wharf and
numbered into his room to cool off.
1t was not long until the clerk felt
the wrath which was pent up in John
sons breast. 1t came in big chunks
every day. until he clerks life was a
burden to him, and while studying
the alternative of wiping the floor with
Johnson or jumping out OF the window,
friend came to his assistance and Sc
cured his transfer to Ben Aliens di-
vision, jumping from the frying pan
into the fire." Johnsons influence
speedily enough extended to Ben Allen,
and when the doomed clerk said one
day in the presence Of a "knocker." "If
! owned yellow dog, minus tail and
ears, and desired to humilitate the
wretched cur further. 1 would assured
ly assign him to the society Of John
SON"
The clerk was promptly re-trans-
ferred back to Johnson's division, to
be finished up. The finishing didn't
take long. The clerk sympathized
with a lady clerk whom he found in
tears, caused by Johnson's coarse and
brutal reprimand. He was seen con-
doing with her he got her statement
and sent 1t to the Secretary. But Van