The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-08-02

May-Charley Stubtoe Is good
dancer in his way. Sue-Yes, and in
everybody else's way.-Phila delphia
Record.
Lady ito departing servant)-What
| shall say in your reference? Servant
Just that l stood it for six months
with you, 1num-that'u do for me.-Tit-
Bits.
Mamma-Bessie, did you give the
goldfish fresh water this morning, as
told you? Bessie (aged 4)-No, mamma.
they hadn't drank hardly any Of the
other yet.
Patie2ce-What is good to reduce
flesh? Patrice-Well, had friend
who bought a bicycle, and she told ME
she fell off little every day.-Yonkers
Statesman.
A Paradoxical Talesman: Judge
Have you formed any opinion on this
case? Wouldbeigh Juror-No, sir; 1
haven't mentioned it to my wife,
Smart Set.
First Office Boy-Tve got sixteen
aunts, two grandmothers an a great
grandmother. Second Office Boy-Gee!
W'ot lot of ball games you oughter
see dis summer.
Harry" said his mother, "don't
throw away that nice bread You may
need it some day." "Well," replied the
little fellow, IF I keep it till then it
won't be fit to eat"
II understand that Frailman has
come to the conclusion to contest his
wife's will" "Well, what is there cour-
ageous about that? She's dead, isn't
she?"-Richmond Dispatch.
He-These seaside resorts are. all
alike-a soapbox hotel, a stretch of
sand, and lot of bleached blondes.
She-Yes. And occasionally some mis-
cradle apology for a man.-Exchange.
ooh, you cruel boy, to take those
eggs out Of the nest! Think of the poor
mother bird when she comes" 1.-THE
mother birds dead, MISS" How do
you know that?" II see it in your hatv'
Punch.
chased him four blocks" said the ad-
miring friend. isn't it strange" re-
piled the sarcastic rival, chow some
girls are always after the men?"-Chi-
cago Post.
Mrs. Sharpe (severely)-Norah, I
can find only seven of these plates.
Where are the other five? Cook Tin
surprise)-Sure, mum, don't yez make
no allowances for ordinary wear an
tear?--Puck.
A little 3-year-old miss one day dis
covered a neighbours chickens scratch
ing in the back yard and, calling to her
mother, said: "Oh, mamma; Mrs.
Smiths chickens are wiping their feet
on our grass!'
Hence the Term: Clarence-Why do
you say the wedding was patriotic?
Algernon-Well, the bride was red, the
groom was white, and her father, who
had all the bills to pay, was blue
Baltimore World.
Lawyer-You would say, then, that
Mr.. Whyte is a gentleman Of unim-
peachable veracity? Witness-Yes, sir,
I presume that If anybody asked ME to,
should; but have known him to lie
Notwithstanding Journal.
Downie (referring to the pleasant
faced lady who has just passed)-Ah,
my boy, 1 owe great deal to that
woman. Dorking-Indeed! She's not
your mother, is she? Downie-No, my
andlady.-Glasgow Evening Times.
Little Tommy-Mamma, that was
good beef we had for dinner. Where
did you get it! Mamma-That wasn't
beef, my son. 1t was roast pork. Lit
tie Tommy-Then why didn't you tell
me before. You know I don't like pork
Mamma" said 4-year-old Willie, II
wish had a velocipede." "Well," she
replied, why don't you ask papa to
buy you oneY' "I'd rather you would
ask him, mamma" replied the little
diplomat. you've known him longer
than I have"
"My good little man." said the visit
ing pastor, II am afraid you've been
fighting. A black eye! Don't you want
me to pray with you?" "Naw," said
the good little man; run home and
pray with your own kid. He's got two
black eyes."-Philadelph Press.
Papa (severely)-Did you ask man.
ma if you could have that apple? Five
year-old-Yes, papa. Papa-Be careful
now. I'll ask mamma, and il she says
you didn't ask her, I'll whip you for
telling a story. Did you ask mamma?
Five-year-old-Papa, asked her. "a
pause.) She said I couldn't have it.
Tit-Bits.
1--WE saved a heap O. time," said
Meandering Mike, complacently. "By
hurryin'?" asked Flooding Pete, appre-
hensively. mo. Jes' by takin' 1t easy.
Instead O. pilin' up wealt' an 'havin'
to git poor by giyin' it away, started
out poor in dc fust place an have belt
me own manfully ever since."-Wash-
ington Star.
Convincing His Chum: Johnny Tin :,
the garden)-Father! father! look out