Gloucester County Democrat., 1901-04-25

most dignifed of mortals, the member
who of all the 36O wears the largest
hat, should be accused of 'puerile pet
tifogging" passeth all understanding.
Now, what had Hon. Serene done to
bring down upon his venerable caput
such charge? He simply and with
fine disregard of dates attributed the
panic of 1893 to the tariff bill passed
in 1904 II big bore statesman. is to
be charged with "pueriie pettifogging'
for playing everlasting smash with the
almanac, what are we coming to, any
way? Mr.. Payne's logic will bring joy
to another illustrious New Yorker, now
defunct-th that is, if the spirits of dead
statesmen take any interest in the opin-
ions and capers of the living. 1t is
Martin Van Buren, who, using Brother
Payne's logic, can demonstrate beyond
all peradventure that the panic of 1887
was produced not by what he or Gen
eral Jackson had done or omitted to do,
but by the election of General William
Henry Harrison in 1910. l humbly
suggest to The Post that Mr.. Payne's
theory fills long felt want, notwith-
standing it runs counter to the con-
stitution, to nature and to common
sense, and is much like putting the
cart before the horse.
Won't XIII the Goose.
The occasion for The Posts fling at
Mr.. Payne is the latter's remarks on
Mr.. Babcock's fake free trade bill to
bust the trusts. On that head Br'er
Payne relieved his mind thusly:
Mr.. Babcock cannot succeed in creating a tariff
agitation, with all its inevitable disturbance of
business and commerce. The country not only
does not want it. but the country will not have
it. The people realize that the present prosperity
is directly traceable to the protective tariff and
there is every indication that this prosperity will
not only continue. but will increase. The injuri-
Gus disturbance of trade conditions wrought by
the tariff agitation Of 1894 is too recent to allow
its needless repetition
When the old woman heard that the
COW had eaten the grindstone, she ex-
claimed with delight, 81 told you SOP
| have repeatedly said in these letters
that the Republican chieftains would
never let the Babcock bill pass. They
w hOt PiOPOnC " Mil lnC SOOoG tlltt
lays the golden eggs for the Republic
an campaign fund Mr.. Hill of Con-
necticut said SO, Mr.. Payne says so,
and ''there are Others"
Mr.. Payne says in an ex cathedra
sort of way. "AIr. Babcock cannot sue
ceed in creating a tariff agitation, with
all its inevitable disturbance of bust
ness and commerce" Of course Bah
can't but there are many others who
will join Bah or anybody else In this
crusade. AS matter of fact, Mr.. Bab-
cock is only an eleventh hour worker
in the vineyard. We welcome him to
the free trade ranks. Mr.. Payne, in
his grandiose manner, says. "The coun-
try not only does not want it, but the
country will not have It," That sounds
like an ultimatum, but it must be re-
membered that Mr.. Payne on a cele-
brated occasion introduced a bill to es-
tablish free trade with poor little help
less Porto Rico in conformity with
President McKinley's plain duty"
message and then changed his mind
overnight and made bitter fight for
tariff against Porto Rico, and | have
no doubt that upon intimation from the
White House that Bah is right he will
see great light as suddenly as did
Saul of Tarsus on his historic journey
from Jerusalem down to Damascus
and will wheel into line. throwing his
vast influence in favor of Bab's bill,
y,rovidod poIa f1oacp't A,,,,i. n,,o,x,. 81 .
Mr.. Payne does not know his own
mind on. two consecutive days. how
can he speak so positively as to what
the country wants and what it does not
want?" 1t would really appear that
his recent Porto Rican experience
would teach him humility of spirit and
caution in speech.
No Duel.
And so Marcus A. Hanna is going to
ram a lie down the throat of Tom
Johnson's brother for remarks made
by the latter touching Marks expendi-
lures in the late mayoralty contest In
Cleveland. and some of the papas are
suggesting that duel is on tie tapis.
Rats! Mark hired a substitute when
fighting was the fashion and when he
was on his first legs. There will be no
duel unless Mark can fight by proxy.
If Toms brother is as fat as Tom, a
wrestling match or foot race be-
tween him and Mark would add to the
gayety of nations. for Mark is built
somewhat on the FalstafIian pattern
himself. A game Of fsticuffs might
do. Such contest, II properly adver-
tised. would beat the Jeffries- Rubin