Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

Vhas gone oop long ago. Don you make
some mistake on dot policehans He vhas
ash big ash a house. und he can stop sefen
street cars at once by lifting oop his
hand"
l belief dot tailor vhas afraid und
make ooo my mind dot / shall hat no
pulls. Two days vhas gone AWAY when
dot bluecoat vhalks into my shop und
says:
''Hello! So you vhas gone into peesness.
eh %
yes. dot vhas So"
"Vhell. dot vhas all right. und 1 hope
you get rich. Can you lend me a dollar
for day or two?"
Il couldn't spare herr
Got anything to drink aroundt here?"
"Only some fine water"
WHO WANTS water? Did l hear you
ask me oafer to der saloon for peer?'
Il don't pellet So
oh you didn't! Say, cobbler, do you
know who / vhas?"
You vhas a polcemans."
Eyes. unde is dere a bigger man in dis
town dan a policemans?"
"Vhell dere vhas der mayor und alder
mans und judges" 1 says.
BAH" Small fish You better get your
eyes open. eobbler, or you shall hear
something drop
Dot tailor comes again und talks to me,
und dot butcher und plumber talk for an
hour but l don't like some pulls. l shust
mind my own peesness ind don't say
something to NOBODY. In two days dot
policemans comes in again, und he don't
smile ash he says:
so you keep some policy shop here,
eh? l hat kept my eye on you, und now
you vhas caught"
WHO vhas policy?" I says
Don't try to bluff me. You try to look
ash innocent as a child, but l know you
to be a wicked old sinner How much
you make here by policy?"
Il don't eaten know who policy vhas.
| shust cobble oop shoes"
"Vhell. you can put me on some half
sole While I wait. Maybe l vhas mis-
took aboudt dot policy. Hurry oop."
1T vhas forty cents I says.
''Vhat! What! You sharge a police
mans for fixing his shoes, You old
hoary headed villain. but l show you
hole NIT a trick in it,"
Und he knocks me aroundt my shop
till | falls down und can't get oop, und
when der peoples comes rushing in dot
rascals bends oafer me und calls oudt:
Poor mans. Poor mans! He vhas
sooch a hard worker dot he hat some
fit und falls off his bench"
Dot tailor says 1t vhas better IL I gif
cop und get some pulls. und dot plumber
says / may pc found dead in my shop
some day but I won't do IL When vhas
mad, I vhas like mule. Maybe 1t vhas
week before dot poleemans comes in
again. Den he swings his club aroundt
und says:
"Cobber, how dare You violate der law
in dis shameful manner? l neffer see
sooch bold scoundrel pefore in my life"
How vhas a wiolate?" l says
How? Why der front of your shop goes
oafer der sidewalk line by two feet.
Moaf him back, sir-moaf him at once"
But it vhas der landlord who shall
moaf her"
shut oop! How dare you talk to me
like dot? | know you, you oldt william,
ind I don't stop till you vhas in prison.
Did you say YOU had half dollar dot
you can spare for day or two?"
II don't"
"Und yon don't bring me a quart of
peer in by growler??H
81 vhas temperance"
ooh, you vhas! You vhas temperance
und dead broke und like to steal two feet
of my sidewalk Ply golly, but you vhas
| a bold william, und ] hat to trim you oop
a Bit"
He knocks me der same as pefore, und
| NIT eafery blow he calls me liars und
| tiefs und bad names. l yels oudt und
| der peoples come in. but dot policemans
| shpeaks oop silently und says:
IF dot cobbler don't take a vacation
| he vhas dead mans. He works too hard
| und dot shmell of leather vhas always in
| his nose."
1t takes me one week to get dot black
und blue AWAY, but l don't gif oop. 1 rub
myself nit arnica ind so TO work, und
l haf six jobs on hand when dot officer
| comes in again. l don't look at him, und
he yells oudt:
Surrender to me or you vhas a dead
mans IN two seconds!"
How you means?" I SAYS.
II means dot you vhas some counter
feiters und dot l lay for you und catch
you. All. old villain, don't you pellet
vhas spring chickens! Gift me oop dose
| dies und molds."
But l don't hat any"
Don't call me liar Do you suppose 1
don't know all about her? If you don't
get seven years by Sing Sing, l shall eat
my hat Half you got a quarter handy p"
Not to-day"
''Vhill you send oudt for some peer?"
81 vhas too busy"
Eyes, I see. You vhas too busy dot you
don't know who I vhas. Maybe you take
me for Uncle Josh from der country 1t
| vhas my pleasure to introduce myself"
Und it vhas shust like pefore, und I
pellet l vhas dead mans in my shop. 1
can't holler, but my wife goes Ply der door
und screams und when ten peoples rush
in dot policemans wipes tear from his
| eye und SAYS:
You see how it vhas. He don't stop to
eat or sleep, und der heart disease comes
| along und knocks him off his bench
| Poor felleri Be VERY careful nit him