Sunday morning globe., 1901-09-08
THE Globe scout
Visits the Pension Department and
Skins the Surface.
WILL CALL AGAIN
And Visit Every Department Of Tho Govern
ment-Wears an Invisible Cloak and Can't
Be- Kept Out Promised Sensations Of What
He Sees, Hears and Knows 10 the Public at
Large.

There's a chiel amang ye takn
notes an faith he'll print EN-"
The Sunday Morning Globe commits
stoned as Scout a reliable gentleman
to go through the Departments and
report faithfully and truthfully what
he sees and hears. He has, it appears.
commenced at the Pension Depart
ment, and here is his first report. ItI
is superfuous to add that The Globes
scout is an old soldier fully up to his
job, having spent four years in our
late unpleasantness scouting and fight.
ing, marching and starving, that n
Clay Evans and "aithers Of his ilk"
might find nice, soft berths, after the
war, where themselves, their uncles,
their cousins and their aunts, with nu.
merous other relatives Of lesser kin
could feed at the public crib and grow
fat, sassy and gross. Here is Scouts
report No /;
Pursuant to instructions from The
Globe to make a tour through some Of
the important bureaus, your scout
went in at the east door Of the Pen
sion Office with James Lachen. driver
Of an Interior Department. Jim wears
a G. A. r. button, and, Of course. $50
per is good enough for him. His pre-.
decessor one Paige, he with a coarse
voice like the aftermath of an auroa-
borealis, was promoted to a desk i'm the
division we are about to visit. again
advanced in salary over the heads OF
able clerks, and thence as chief eunuch
to the outfit, all in a few weeks. leav.
ing a trail of incompetent work be-
hind the ravelod selvage Of which was
later gathered and knit by ADLER men
and women who sit below the salt.
Turning to the right, 1 entered the
Southern division, and these are some
Of the things ] learned The chief Of
this division, John w. Watson. is a
pretty man, at least he thinks he is.
Reared in a Washington barber shop.
he has all the tlunkey characteristics
towards his superiors Of the boy who
dusts your clothes. OF course, he did
not 90 to the front when his country
called, and bears a jealous hate TO-
wards men who served. l am inform.
ed that no ex-Union soldier in his di.
vision was promoted from 1897 to last
June with one exception. Some weeks
since, getting shaky over the emphatic
rumOrs of the removal of Commission
er Evans, he was seen to put his arm
around the neck of a veteran, tell him
how much he loved the soldier and
promise him a promotion. The fear
passed and the efficient veteran yet
pegs away at low salary
Soon after the advent of this Wat
son, a very large percentage of the
clerks asked for a transfer to some
other division, but the chief clerk
stated that If he transferred an who
asked that there wouldn't be any
Southern division left. One clerk gave
his reason for wishing a transfer that
the dome of the capital would just
about make Watson a night-cap. This
chief has a fund Of smutty stories,
filthy beyond expression, and he droles
AIiAl OuA hHNl AlAN olA6lAANnA UAbNhNl-
tion or no provocation at all He is
willing spy for Brooks, and is warm
ly pressing the promotion of his time
keeper to ST. 500. OF course her record
is most excellent" and she moves
amongst her subordinates like unto a
Chicago man at the ran-American EX
position. Her father is on the rolls of
the Agricultural Department at S1,S0Ol
per majority of these clerks are
self-respecting, competent women and
men. who would not invite their chief
to enter their homes Their record is |
good their character sans tache.
Step through the archway facing
west To the right and to the left sit
two women who were promoted to SILL
400 under this regime. These two and |
an ex-Union soldier. a stainless gentle |
man with an invalid wife, were doing |
a certain class Of work; these three |
only. His efficiency record in the bu-
reau was wellnigh faultless as to
quantity and character. One evening, |
Mr.. Windsor for that was his name, |
left his desk at o'clock and |
the next morning was reported |
dead His salary was $500 less than |
tnaL OF Ine women ABOVE ClLeQ. Nine /
hundred dollars was good enough for
him. You see that he was a Grand |
Army man.
AS we stand in this archway, to our
left oblique sits a young lady who did
not come in through a civil-service eX-
animation. She has been shifted
hither and yon to find some work fall
ing within the lines Of her possibil-
tiles She rooted out the eX-soldier
from the place her desk now occupies.
hooted him out of the division, and
very near to a dismissal She was first
given work adjudicating invalid pen
sion claims, and made herself funny
beyond comparison through her gro.
tesQue ways Of exposing her incapacity
by the constant asking Of questions re-
garding the work. OF course, she was
promoted over the heads Of able clerks
in the shortest possible time and mark.
ed excellent
The next section is B section; c was
with this section some
time since / am told that there has