Rock Island Argus., 1901-01-15

tonight. you1ll hold the 1uneral day art
er toinorrer. won't you. at O'Clock in
the afternoon?''
Mr. Gallup was listening to noise
outside. He heard something to re-
mind him of n hen trying to crow, and
he wondered if it could be that so long
after dark
IF you want it a day sooner, you
can hev it, continued Mrs. Gallup
after sobs and gasps and shifts at the
bottle, .'but you must look out or the
nayburs will talk. Better hey 1T day
after tomorrer. and / hope. for your
sake, it won't be a rainy day. I've
sometimes thought I'd like big fu-
neral when l went, with over 40 wag-
ons in the purcession and the church
bell a-tollin and the dogs a-howlin, but
I've given that up. No, Samuel, you
needn't make any spread over me. I'm
one of the kind that kin go to heaven
without any hurrah and fireworks. IL
there is ten wagons in the purcession,
shalt be satisfied. Don't you think
ten ought to be 'nuff for a person like
meg'
1t wasn't direct question. but had
it been Mr.. Gallup would not have
llS Welcu. ne was 0CNOuL IL NAG lAII0
testimonial and making up his mind
10 try bottle on the sly.
'gren wagons in the purcession. Sam
uel, and the bells needn't toll nor
nuthin else happen. If anybody is
diggin taters or maxim soft soap or
dyein carpet rags, they needn't stop on
my account. If % people come to the
house, that will be 'nuff. We've got
'leven chairs altogether. countin them
with broken backs, and Mrs. Walters
will lend you the rest. You'll hev our
own preacher, of course, but he needn't
go on for an hour or two and tell how
good was and how much you'll miss
me. If he says that my toll is DER, and
that you won't never find a more savin
wife, that'll be about huff. Shall you
do any cryin at the funeral, Samuei!"
No answer.
I'D do Il leetle bit if was you-jest
leetle If you don't. folks will talk
about it same as they did about Jim
Dewitt. He never cried at all. and to
this day folks say he didn't use Han
ner right. l don't ask you to break
down and sob and git up an excite
ment, but you kin gasp few times and
wipe your eyes and blow your nose.
I'm sorry you'll hev to take that long
ride to the graveyard. as you could be
fiayin checkers or sunthin, but don't
see how you are to git out of it. How
ever, you won't never hev to go up
there ag'in. When you git ready to
buy me a gravestun. you kin send it
up by a man. I s'pose you'll buy
stun of some sort, won't you?"
~,
testimonial a man declared that he had
been saved after one whole lung and
three-quarters of the other were gone,
aud it was n sketch to thrill the reader
clear down to his toes.
''Of course | don't keer about no
gravestun for myself" said Mrs. Gal
lup as she tried to wipe away her tears
with the glass stopper of the bottle,
'.but if you don't put one up the nay
burs will call you stingy Get a cheap
one, however. If you kin git one fur
SO and trade lot of carpet rags in,
I'd do it. 1 used to think l wanted a
whole lot of readin on my grayestun.
but I've changed my mind. Jest put
on that Susan Gallup expired in the
forty-ninth year of her age of gineIal
disability and that she has found rest
where asthma, boils. backaches and
rheumatic cease from troublin. You
needn't say word about maxim 40
yards of rag CARPET and bar'l of soft
soap last year while enjoyin sore eyes
and a boil on my arm or that l allus
kept catnip, smartweed and pepper
mint herbs in the house and was a
nurse to all the nayburs. No, Samuel.
you needn't-say word-about them
things. Make it-a cheap -gravestun.
and you needn't-never go up there
and-and''-
And when Mr.. Gallup had finished
the testimonials and fully determined
to buy at least three bottles and hide
them in the wood shed he rose up.
yawned and stretched and looked
around to find Mrs. Gallup asleep and
the camphor wasted ON the floor.
NJ. QUAD.