New-York tribune., 1901-07-25
AMERICANIZED.

love my N Tgans%nanis ran. ,nfH1ns,,%: brother we'll
with he conscious pride / feel my bosom swell
When he greets me frateTnaiiy, ~, h.,au
That his loved presence might begin TO pali'
His kodak on my privacy intrudes.
His beef ms to satistX what late were solitudes
His heiresses Society.
,Tia his-Cne drop q sweet in bitter m cup
His oil my lamp his corn my belly fills.
Ana boards that tell the praises of his pills
wbIIe SfSri in nh the TubeIso Yankeehed we
ride perforce in his triumphal car
He wins our races, teaches us to ride
Our markets ind all stocks are dull beside
His versatile securities;
And near at hand. I hear the period Is
When all our ships and shpyards shall be his
He fills my cosmos and I but see
soo AS every M G n 2ae race rme and land may be
Essentiaily American,
And may % own GSr Of Som5GE5 Teay Enssh aH!H eft
-Uondon Daily Chronicle.
An American calling himself DR. Lee who has
been making a great deal of money In the city OF
Mexico as a slate writing medium and who has
Just this country, made this frank con
fesson before leaving for the benefit OF his dupes
II feel sorry for the poor innocent mortals who
come up here every day for readings. expecting to
receive messages from the neither world. | say 90
them many Of whom old people: oh. you poor
fools, so you're silly enough To come here and be
humbugged. too are you? All right. come In I'll
give II To you. I'll humbug YOU 20 finish. But it
grieves me much gray hairs I'm head with
little sense. And the way rattle II off to those
people Is a wonder They never know what great
people they are until they come here and see me.
/ give them a talk sometimes that is so bloody
crazy that put on false face when go to the
mirror TO comb my hair-which is very seldom.
I'm ashamed to look myself in the face But be
neve in making everybody happy. It's a puddin'.
this business of mine this spritualist business It's
a great snap to marshal bunch of freaks from
the spirit land When | came Mexico / adver-
tsed that would diagnose and cure all diseases
by simply touching the patent-in the pocket. |
said that would relieve them from all burdens-in
their pockets. l did. l said would make them
all happy-for what they had In their pockets.
have. don't mind having people call me fakir.
I admit 1t myself, but am very proud of my pro-
fession, and when people take the trouble to tell
everybody that l am fakir. 1 always like them
TO add, II they are friends OF mine. that am a
clever fakir"
ro, Them women make me tired" said the First
Telegraph Operator, he opened his switch.
What s the matter now?" asked the Second Teie-
One of 'em was just in here and wanted to know
why we wouldn't let her put postscript to ten
wasn't part or the message. anyway.-(Baltmore
American
In comparatively obscure and minor county I'm
a we'll known Southern State ii is proposed to
act license fee of $4,000 for each saloon As the
number of inhabitants is small and most of them
are people of scanty means the effort to secure so
large an amount for the sale of liquors will prac-
ticaiy result in complete prohibition. Thirsty per-
sons in that county will probably drink speak
easy whiskey none at ALL
49,. Let let me congratulate you old fellow. I you
Yes. but I'm not just sure about the congratu
latons." ' ~ "s
Why notT'
We'll l in deadly earnest when 7 wrote
that article. and l thought there was a great idea
In II. but ~ ~
''Wen?'
humor."-(Chicago Post