davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
STOPPING SOCIETY smUseLERs.

A GREAT HOWL has gone up and is still going up
n from the toady press in the east against the
great injustice" done passengers returning
from abroad By searching their baggage for dutable
goods The editors say the government looks on every
traveller as thief because it does not accept his decar
alton that he has nothing dUtiabe, correct. Sad
though the confession may be- the customs officials
almost justified in making the extreme accusation just
cited.
In the December North American Review Secre-
tary of the Treasury Gage tells something about the
workings Of the law One of his astonishing statements
is that his officers collecting 81 at the docks where
they collected 81 before. If this means anything It
means that great proportion of the Americans who
go abroad are guilty of the crime of smuggling 1t Is
crime Just as much as manufacturing whisky hcitly,
but who would think of taking the word of suspected
moonshiner that he had mountain dew"
Both classes occupy about the same status. Neither
looks upon its nefariOUs proceeding crime. The
moonshner argues that the government has no right
to interfere with him if he chooses 80 work up his sur
plus corn into whisky and his extra apples into brandy
His fathers before him did it. and he holds in all ser
BUSINESS that he should enjoy the privilege The
moonshiner is more excusabe than the tourist snug
gler, because he is more ignorant.
Still the society woman who has gone to Europe to
spend her own or her husbands American-made money
on foreign gewgaws actually convinces herself that
she has the right lie to customs officials But to go
back Secretary Gage for he quotes figures that
ndisputable though almost passing belief. be says
that a year ago a steamer landed in New York with
GOO cabin passengers. ms was before the baggage
inspection law went into effect and Just $400 in duty
was collected at the dock
This year the same steamer brought Just 800 cabin
passengers but the dock duties aggregated after the
baggage had been inspected, the tidy of $4,000.
Yet in nearly every the passenger had said he
brought nothing dutable. In trunk, brought
by dressmaker who declared she should pay nothing,
goods of the value of S335 found and the duty
$500. Naturally the people who have been most
active in the smuggling loudest in their protests.
mo rogue Ger felt the halter draw,
With good opinion of the law"
This old maxim comes pretty close to fitting the
situation under discussion. Secretary Gage is ungal-
liant enough to believe that afflicted
with the smuggling disease than He says the lat
ter as class pay their duties much cheerfuly,
although there are nUmberless cases where have
made false declarations. He tells story of man
who complained that he had been held down closely
his last trip.
why" he said, Il had to pay $1,000 duty, and I
never paid cent before" Then he smiled. But" he
added Il must say feel more respectable. 1t is al
most worth the price not to have the sneang sensa
ton that fellow used to have when he landed lot
of stuff that he ought, perhaps, to have paid duty
on"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
DlsoReAMIzlHe EFFECT OF PIE.

n RULY PIE IS A DISORGANIZER. Taken in
the literal sense, it causes bad dreams and dys-
pepsa. Used fguratively in connection with po-
sitons of trust and emoment particularly the latter,
It fractures lifelong friendships and the seeds of
bitterness and envy and The spectacle Of our
own Senator Kearns and our own Congressman Suth-
erland quarreng in Washington over the United
States marshalship is extremely sad
Here are two gentlemen who have never had any
but the ndliest feelings for each other. When George
did his famous Il w-wOn't" stunt before the Provo
convention, Kearns assisted in the Roosevelting.
George was thus thrust into public life and given the
opportunity to dispense postOces with gay abandon
Tom thought this ought to satisfy him. The increased
respect and admiration which the inoce postmasters
at once began entertain for Sutherland should nave
warmed him to the forgetfulness of other things.
Alas, he soon got beyond the mere pOstofice point
in the road Aided and abeted by Colonel Lannan and
National Committeeman Salisbury, he concluded that
he was big enough to gun for larger game. So he
comes out with request for the marshalship. This
has vexed and freted Senator Kearns. He feels that
the congressman has no right to go after the juicy
fruit in the orchard and be isn't bit backward about
saying so.
George is real Sassy" too, and the result is a
considerable strainng of the entente cordiale. We
hope the brethren viii find neutral strip which
they car dwell together in peace and unity When so
many much important interests at stake 1t IS
pity for the Republicans In the Utah delegation to
fall out In union there is strength in politics IN
other things
Utah Is vitaly interested IN congressional leglsa-
ton the irrigation question. Utah wants the Untah
Indian reservation thrown open to the public She
wants number of other things which she will not get
if her members of congress spend their time squabbng
over candidates for Office. few years hence it viii
make little difference who was United States marshal
during President Roosevelts term.
1t viii make little difference who was postmaster
of Salt Lake or who was United States attorney It
viii make considerable difference though if irriga-
ton measures are passed during the present admins
tration it will make difference if the Indian lands
are not given to the public
These are only few reasons why the brethren
should dwell together In unity Another is that the
people elected them to look after the welfare Of all
their constituents and to distribute pie Then it
doesn't look at all well IN the countrys eyes, IF get
ting IN line with the administration means rowing
among the Republican members to see which walk
the straigher line, then it Is better to be out Of line
altogether.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
JEWS Exempt FROM CONSUMPTION.

n HE REASONS WHY JEWS are less subject to
tuberculosis than any other people on earth are
again being discussed, but with the usual amount
of dissatisfaction All medical authorities agree that
Jews, by all rights, ought to have more consumption
than anybody They handle more secondhand cloth
ing they live more in cities, they have smaller chest
measurements and narrower girths than other
According to the raes which obtain elsewhere there
FORE the Jews should be particularly liable to tubercu-
IoUs affections.
In spite of al this though, says DR.. Maurice Fish
berg In American Medicine, there IS small percent
age Of consumptives among the Jews that they may
almost be said lie exempt The causes for this condi
ton attributed to various sources. The distin-
guished Itali9u physician Lombroso, thinks it Is pos
sib due the fact that the jews so generally engage
in indoor occupations.
They are therefore, less often exposed to sudden
changes in the weather which often SOW seeds of
consumption n others. A French physician believes
Jews don't much risk of inhaling disease germs
because they wipe dusty surfaces with cloths instead of
using brushes as do Americans. One of Germany's
eminent doctors presents the theory that the meat
inspection laws of the Jews preserves them.
DIR. Fishberg agrees with his German confrere
but thinks it altogether probable that there are con
tributory causes. lie cites specially the comparative
freedom Of the Jews from the use Of Intoxicating
liquors There many exceptions 70 his general rule
as there are exceptions to all rules but he says it is
rare to see drunken jew and the use Of intoxcants
Is known to favor the propagation of the tUberce ba
cillus.
Surely this is high tribute to the Jews as a race
and people It is true that they are not addicted to
drUnkenness IN proportion to other races. They arc
abstemous to a marked degree, and they are, In the
naiu the most ceanv of people. TIE writer In Amer
an lands in support of his statement of fact 1t IS
only necessary, however, to show returns from
the eleventh census.
According to these figures the death rate PEI
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
ga GREAT BURDEN"
New York World.)

Out of the statistical and technical aridness of
the secretary Of the reasury report stand these facts
of living interest:
The government taxed the people last year $685.
316 53O-hieh IS 1851 625 than It's receipts
for the last fiscal year before the Spanish war, 1897
1t spent 1921 SOS, 546-which is 1855 824,3S7 more
than it spent in 1891
If taxation were the same it four
years ago. and the expenditures had increased to their
present figures instead of reporting surplus of ST.
100000 the secretary of the treasury would have to
report a deficit of $273S76,641.
If expenditures were the before our
colonial experiments and taxation up its pres
ent hf ;g the report would have been of surplus of
no les than 1898 ,522,371.
NJ wonder President Roosevelt speaks of the Phil
ippines as "a great burden"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
when the WorId is AN Awrv.

The storm may reud the giant oak;
The stanChest ship its mornings lose;
The vine may feel the lightning stroke,
Nor tiny boat its fate may choose.
Some stand aloof when tempests roar,
Neer lend a helping hand when nigh;
From such one sadly turns. heart sore;
Earth mobiles they, or low or nigh,
Who give a kind word. a CHEEKY word,
When the world Is all awry.
When clouds their help do freely give,
'Tis echoed back in grass. flow'r, tree
On earth, sky, moon and all that live,
The suns reflected rays we see.
When man the lesson truly learns
He'll be of heav'n a strong ally;
To such, in trust, the sad heart turns;
Eartns mobiles they, or low or high,
VINO give a kind word. q CHEEKY word,
When the world is all awTy.
(Mrs.) OLIVE A. SHERMAN.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
he knew Her.

The dextereus manipulation of a soda
fountain and the cashier at a restaurant
making a speciality of after-theatTe sup
pers were exchanging condolences.
she is so unlike others girls, so natural
and sincere" explained the cashier.
Looks at you out of the depths Of her
soulful eyes when she talks to you,
doesn't she2'' Queried the soda artist
Exactly
Sings, doesn't she?"
yes"
"Favorite song is, oh, Promise Me- g"
That's il.
and when she sings it her soul seems
to fly out on the wings of song and soar
among the heavens?'
Yes, yes" said the cashier, but how
do you knOw2 Are you acquainted with
her?'
well, I can't say exactly. but all last
summer I was tied VI with a soulful
creature OF that class who drifted out OF
my life just as the ice cream season was
waning and the oyster eating days had
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
IbeGonCarne
By william G. Jackson.
&c Dream Of the Tvpewriter 81.

The Dream Of the Typewriter Girl.
apologies TO Hood)
III nth fingers purple with ink,
w And a sentimental mien,
The typewriter girl at her type
writer sat
And pounded the old machine.
Clickity click. kerclick.
Went the keys like four horse steam,
While she with a smile that was pert and
Dreamed a typewriter's dream
She dreamed how the boss some day
Would look into her limpid eyes
In dreamy, tender, lovely way,
As he breathed out his soul IN signs
She dreamed how he would propose,
And ask her 10 be his wife,
And share with his pleasures and woes,
And be the light of his life.
She could see the maidealy blush
That over her face would creep.
And how she would modestly let him
know
That her heart was his to keep.
She dreamed OF tie happy hours
OF their toO-short cOurtship days,
And she filled them in with lovers
bowers
And doleful love-lorn days.
She dreamed of a honeymoon
With nothing to do all day but spoon,
And never to think of work.
She could see the boOkkeeper cringe
And the bill clerks humble zeal.
And she knew that then they would feel a
twing6
For the Sights they'd made her feel.
Letter on letter she wrote,
Pounded them off by the ream,
But somehow into each business note
She injected chunks of her dream.
And when the boss read them Ger
The air in his room waXed blue,
And the office boy says that the good
man swore,
And the bill clerk says so, too.
Clickitv click. kerclick.
Co the keys of the old machine,
But the typewriter girl like her dream,
has flown,
And a new face haunts the scene,
While she who was there before,
Now dreamlessly, restlessly gads
To factory, office and shop and store,
Answering hefp-wanted ads.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
Oh, Lady Moon.

The Nashville Banner prints a love-
" sonnet, original or selected, by Mr..
James Newton Matthews. It is called
"A Night In November" The very first
line twines itself around the heart:
The lady moon lies confined in a cloud.
All. Endymion, EndymiOn! Do you
hear this?
The winds are up, and from the sobbing
boughs
The last leaves fall; far off a wild goose
plOughs
The slanting sky with mutations loud
Why do the boughs sob? Why does
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
4ad 10 Raise His Ante-

He had come into the room and found
his little wife gazing thOughtfully into
the CRATE fire.
"a penny for your thoughts" he said
cheerily.
A convulsive shudder shook her frame
and she burst into a flood of tears.
"Oh, you brute she cried, to talk
about giving me pennies when you knew
I was wondering what you were going
to get me for Christmas"
And in order to square himself he had
to promise to buy 4 sealskin jacket.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
On Another Line.


A porter at a certain station Oh the
Caledouian railway had been granted
leave Tor the purpose Of going 70 Edin-
burgh to be married. In addition. he
was given the customary return railway
pass.
During his absence a new ticket col
lectOr had been put on. who. upon Bene-
dies reform. demanded his ticket.
Benedick, who had put both pass and
marriage certificate In the same pocket,
by mischanCe rendered the latter.
The collector opened and graVely scan
ned the "iines;" then returned them with
a slow headshake and:
Eth Ell, mon. it's q teeket for a verrn
lang ride, but nae on the CALIFORNIAN rail-
way
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
Not So Bad as it Seemed.

Mrs McSwatt-Where do your man be
kapin himself these days?
Mrs. O'Biff-Sure he so attached to the
links that he nivveF comes home amy
more at all. at all
Mrs McSwatt-Weu, well, nivver sus-
peCted O'Biff av bein a gOluf fiend.
Mrs. o Biff-Oh, it is not so bad as that,
Mrs MCSchwatt. But he got on a bit Of
a spree d week ago and the judge sem
fenced him to a month on the chain gang.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15

1000 among Jews from consumption was 1857 for
males AID 3402 for females. The average of all other
nationalites in fe United States 10S79 for males
and 1862 for females 1t viii be that IN the
of males the Jews are onehTd and in the case Of fe
males only onefourth atle to consumption other
nationalities.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15

come in upon US, and 1 thought maybe
she had drifted into yours
Then 1t was that the cashier at the res
taurant remembered that 1t was in the
first Of the series OF months containing
the letter -" that his path anc that OF
this fair maid had become entwined. and
a great and heavy thoughtfulness came
upon him.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
wbere Mein Herr Gets Even.

Herr Beer Won Stein-I see dot der Prit-
ish hat suvvered some more reveTses in
South Africa already yet.
Mr.. Bulljohn-Yes, yes; but they'll win
in the long run
Herr Beer Won Stein-Oh, va, they viii
win in der long run. Ven dere vas any
feet-racing they viii always be in der
front
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15

It's pity they can't use the wind power, which
now being generated in the senate to aid in building
the Niearaguan canal.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15

the wild goose ululate? Isn't the lady
moon doing as well Is could be ex-
DeCted2
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
Delfberateness Is Puzzling
ATLANTA JournaI)

II would seem that in such a one-sided
case as the SChley investigation the jury
could have reached a verdict before now.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
Denuneiation and Denunciation.

"Oh, why do the senators talk so loud
And wave their hands on high,
And muss their hair and chuTn the air
Till they shake the earth and sky?'
1.-THE senators talk so loud" my child,
"And shake their horny fists,
For they're filled with the fire Of a
mighty desire
To denOunce the anarchists"
"Oh, why do the senators talk so low,
In tones so sweet and mild,
With soft tut-tuts and ifs and butts,
And smiles so sweetly smiled?"
1.-THE senators talk thus low my child
And in this soothing way,
For their minds are bent with fierce in
tent
On denouncing trusts todsy.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-15
Honors Even.

A subdued sight mingled with the sha-
doWs of the MCGuffy parloT, indicating
that the gas jet was not turned more
than three-quarters on. Beneath Its ge-
NAL glow sat GWendOlyn McGuffy and
John Henry Stubbins. The contented,
Inerry-C christmas expression that lurked
IN the corners of GwendOlyn's thoughtful
blue eyes showed that she expected that
there would soon be something doing.
She was not wrong,
But in order that our readers may I'M
derstand the situation thoroughly il viii
be necessary to carry them back fifteen
years before this story opens. Gwendolyn
was then a beautiful girl Of eighteen sum-
mers, and John Henry. four years her
senior, was holding down a job behind a
neighbOrlng ribbon counter at $40 per
week.
Madlv in love with the fair daughter Of
the house of McGufIy. Johnny had finally
summoned up enough courage to ask her
TO be his wife. But the sweet. innocent
girl thought Of the $40 per, and told him
she could only be sister to him.
ClutChing his blighted affection to his
bosom, John Henry had decided to go
east and grow fat with the country. He
did so.
Now. after fifteen years of absence. he
had returned to his native town, the
head of the ribbon trust ana a man Of
prominence in the great world of COM
merce.
He found that time had dealt kindly
Win tTWeIQOA4Ils LUl 5Lc Was Only Catl ,
of age, while he was lowering dangerous
ly near the 40 mark He soon became a
regular caller at the McGuffy residence,
and people began whispering that the old
flame was again ablaze in his breast.
Gwendolyn thought this was a cinch, and
she Rugged herself with giTlish joy.
On the evening when our story opens
John Henry had been nerVOUsly edging
up TOW ard his fair hostess. At length he
dropped on his knees, just as he had done
in the old days, and began:
Miss McGuffy, GwendOlyn-''
Choked with emotion. he paused, and
GWendOlyn's face was lighted by a great
warm glow of expectancy.
viii you" he continued; may I ask
YOU
Again his emotion was too much for
him, and GwendOlyn got ready to make
the usual remark about suddenness and to
flop Imply into his arms, when he pro-
ceeded with more firmness;
will you be a sister to me?'
As he slipped out of the front door some
two minutes later John Henry StUbbins
might have been heard to chuckle and
remark:
I guess we're even old girl"
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-04-06
Hats In the House of Commons.

Speaker Denison if he saw a men,
Der wear any unwonted headgear other
than the regulation tall hat would send
for him and point out the irregularity.
In these days billycock hat has fire.
quently been seen In one particular
quarter of the house. and the innova-
ton is tolerated. What Speaker Deni-
son would have said or thought If he
had seen few straw hats in the ex-
tremely hot weather Of last session
the writer cannot venture even to con-
lecture.
A reference to hats recalls the curl
GUS custom which prevails, that when
b member wishes to interpose with a
point Of order after the question has
been put from the chair he must speak
covered" On one occasion Mr.. Glad
stone wished to speak In this way, and,
as he never brought a hat into the
house, he was obliged hastily to Dor
row a hat. 1t happened that the hat
which he borrowed belonged to his
then solicitor general, Sir F. Herschell
(afterward the lord chancellor), and 1t
proved to be far too small for Mr..
Gladstone's head. He was unable for
some time to address the house owing
to the shouts of laughter which his ap.
pearance called forth.-Good Words.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-04-06
&C ntral Vermont Railway
TIMETABLE

Corrected to March 10, 1901
Trans leave Barre Daily, except Sunday
as follows:
GOING SOUTH
$40 A. M.-MAlL FOR Boston va Lowes s
or Fitchburg; New York via Springneio snc
all New England points. Parlor car to Dos
ton via Lowell.
1901 p. Mast EXPRESS For Boston
via Lowell New York via Springfield sno
via New London. Buffet parlor car to DOS
ton.
$40 P. M.-LOCAL PASSENGER Eol
Mortified, Randolph, White River Juh'''o'
and Windsor.
HOE. m.-N1GHT EXPRESS. Leave
Barre week DAYS only, but leaves MontPe.
lier IL. IS A. M. daily, including Sundeys' 70,
Boston via Lowell or Fitchburg ana for Ne~
York via Springfield. Pullman sleeping CAT
to Boston via Lowell and to Springneio'
GOING NORTH
$50 A.M.-PASSENGER For buIhngSo ~.
St. Adams. Montreal and Richforo. Co ri
meets at Essex Junction with express io'
points on Rutland Railroad.
3.O5 p, NJ MAIL For Burlington, I Kus'
land Cambridge Junction. St. Adams MOI.
treal Rouses Point and Ogdensburs. rsf'o'
car to Montreal.
$40 p. EXPRESS For Burlngs0n,
St. Adams and Montreal. Pnliman kn,s7
car, o ltpelier Junction to Chicago w n'rht
change. Due Chicago 8.45 P. y. next n'sn'
Suburban service O n
TRAINS TO MONTPELIER. Leave 6e.fS o.
$50 A. M, 10 Of, sos, $40. ll.O . o,
TRAINS TO BARRE. Leave MonsPeanSSnn 30
9.l5, 1880 A. NJ, lass, $50 ana o'S' r.
WJIIlamstoWn Trains ,,,ru..
Leave Barre lao, $50 P. y. D"e "'''''
town, 1.56, $40 p. n. ..o =.
leave Willianastown, 7.So 4 -: NOV r.
Due Barre, sos 4. H., S.oo = !.
r. 8. LOGAN, 3. w. IN pass Hvt
Vice-PreS q Gen. Man9. 00u. EsSs' AK
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-04-06
For Your New House

The attention of pas called to the on rnS Ss brush Of Mr.
~ - Tho window OF Smith producton .oi M Sylyes.
Landscape and Porfas % holster Block
Tho insnection paintings a. TOOL ~
ter lnV.es e 60 during this month VERY LOW PkCES
Anthony Studio,
Room 20 Bolster Block.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1901-04-06
Wanted His Full Share.

Wanted His Full Share.
Little Willie, sitting down to tea
with his grandmother, who is just
about to cut the cake. Willie (hastily)
Ceramic, before you cut my piece Of
cake l want to ask you question.
Grannie-Well, dear, what is it?
Willie-I want to know II your spec
tacles magnify?
Grannie-Yes; a little, dear.
Willie-Well, then, will you please
take them OF while you cut my cake?