The Red Cloud chief., 1901-02-08
PICKED UP FRESH

some men would never SEQ the inside
uf n church.
A kiss bears the same relation to a
good bye that u notary's seal does to a
deed. FRY it.
Most people don't care whether a
photograph resembles them or not, Just
so 1t is good looking.
Few Ome are satisfied with M.
lures handiwork and as a consequence
toilet preparations are Ia demand.
Women cant, as a rule, pass n MILL.
inery store without looking in, and
some men cans pass a saloon without
stopping in.
Eggs are worth one dollar apiece in
Alaska. Here is a chance for the Ne
braska hen who is not satisfied with
this country.
A nan down in Kansas advertises to
trade a guitar for a baby buggy. He is
evidently going to change from iustru.
mental to vocal music.
II VAS an all wise Providence tina,
created woman after everything else
had been finished, otherwise she would
have wanted to boss the Job.
When . lot OF women get together
very often the subject Of conversation
10 whether some other woman knows
how her husband Is acting.
A woman can get some kind Of an
idea how pleasant a voice her husband
has II she talks TO him wei the tele.
phone and DISCUSSES her own voice.
Men who are always waiting for
something TO turn up are Of very little
use In this world. Men OF the Ret.up.
snd.get kind are what makes a country
prosperous.
Only two arrests have been made
here for violation Of the game laws so
lar. Ono had been shooting craps aud
the other had caught a sucker during
the closed season.
We are willing to bet at the odd of
three t. one tina. the fellow who wrote
the verses about beautiful snow didn't
have any sidewalk in front of his resi-.
dence to shovel of.
A woman might just as well plant
pumpkin seeds and expect to raise
watermelons, as to expect to make a
loveable husband at the point Of a DO.
tato masher, or keeping him at home
nights by tongue flashing him.
A man here who is always ready to
snap up q bargain whether he can use
1t or not, was recently induced, through
q small want advertisement to send
a dollar TO a New York firm for a fire
escape. He got a bible by return mail.
There is a man in Bellville who has
proposed to a girl once a week for the
last two years. He says no is going to
keep 1t up until she says mo" and then
he is going to quit her. He is afraid TO
quit how for fear Of a breach of prom.
Use suit.
The heroine in a love story asks her
lover to kiss her with his eyes. 1t is a
matter OF conjecture whether he had
been smoking cigarettes, aud drinking
beer, or whether she had been eating
onions or reading those microby kiss
stories, that such AN unusual pro.
ceeding should be desired.
Last week a delinquent told us he
would pay up this week IL he lived.
He Is dead. Another said he would see
US tomorrow. He's gone blind. Still
another said, an pay you this week or
go to the devil" He's gone. The rest
had better take warning from tn ese
procrastinators and pay up.
Mrs. Carrie Nation seems to be max.
ing a d-nation big smash in her part of
the country. Anyway, she wins more
honor than the hypocritcs who shout
for prohibition al home and GO To a big
city when they want 4 big spree. Mrs.
Nation at least lives up to her c1nvic.
tions.
A certain woman has just tumb!ed
to a scheme to get her husband who
stays out late at night, home earlier.
The other evening when he came home
she went quietly to the door and whis.
pered through the key hole, 'Is that
you, Charlies" His name wasn't Char.
lie and being Of a rather Jealous dispo.
sition he is now staying home evenings
waiting for Charley to show M.
We would like to know why the devil
is always pictured as n man with cow.
hoois, spiked tail, horns and a three
tined spear, and m angel is pictured
AS u women with blond hair, wings,
harp, and had half n bolt Of white mus.
lln wrapped around her. Ii there is
no he angels what becomes Of the
preachers and other good men, and if
there me nU she devils what becomes