The times., 1901-05-14
Neyyyorkitis,

yorkitis," and which, as he claims IS
epidemic on Manhattan Island. This |
book will probably be more interesting |
to the rest of the country than TO New
York. because the rest of the country
is already pretty well convinced of the
existence Of the disease. while the New
Yorker wouldn't know it if he should
meet it in the road.
The somewhat whimsical and entire
" picturesque description Of this NAL
ady will be recognized by numerous
readers as a true one. The chief symp-
tom is inability to see anything out
side the limits of Manhattan Island.
There may be sunshine in Los Angeles,
culture in Boston, an exposition IN Bul-
faIo. but the victim of NeWyorklus
does not know il. He is possessed with
a deep-rooted conviction that there Is
nothing worth noticing in these Chlteu
States which cannot be reached by the
cable cars of his beloved city ana no
opinion worth attention which IS not
voiced by the press of New York The
unfortunate man is occasionally obliged
to visit other parts of the earth on
business, but while there he is like
cat in a strange garret, patheticaIly
anxious 20 get back to the Well-re-
rnembered tiles and the company OF
other cats of familiar aspect and voice.
The sufferer from Newyorkitis is con-
WINGED that while certain well-estab-
lished rules and customs may be good
enough for dwellers in other cities, his
4 need
| ing them. The Constitution of the
United States is out of date, the Ten
| Commandments would be relegated to
| the garret if ne had one, the Golden
Rule is replaced by the simple and ex-
quisitely time-saving maxim, Money
| talks" The laws of social ethics, ike
some of the other lays of the universe
| are consistently and persistently lg-
nored by him He fails to see that cut
ting other mems throats is injurious 10
! the person who holds the knife as wen
as to the one who suffers from It, just
| as he fails to understand that municipal
| dishonesty which results in bad sanl-
tarv conditions viii in time affect his
! own health He grows short-sighted pc
cause he never has any more extended
range Of vision than across the street,
and nervous and excitable from the
continual lodging of cable cars, and
| irate conductors crying, step lively!
/ And the mysterious part of all THIS Is
/ that he is proud of all TINS and te-
! lieyes any other conditions to be abb
normal Ifhe were to spend a night in
the stiffness of the country the olSe
/ and the absence OF smells would keep
| him awake; and if ne were to 1neet
man who actually did not care that
the Vanderbilt family or Russell sage
thought about any given social ques-
ton. he would think that man insane.
a world without the New York sun
day papers is to his mind as remote as
the other side of the moon.
These are in brief, the symptoms OF
the disease of NewyorlIitis as de-
scribed by the author of the above
mentioned book; and while they are not
ALWAYS all possessed by any one per
son. some Of them viii easily be recog-
nfzed by almost any reader who la:
ever come across a genuine case.
The true Newyorkitic's taste n lit
erature runs to French novels, PARIS
being the place after which moierr
New York was modelled. As for Rus
kin. Emerson. Carlyle. and TennysoH
they are altogether too slow. 1t is th'
crime of the century to be slow, in th'
opinion of the Newyorldtic, and he !!
doing his best to spread his disease. s.
that nobody will have a chance TO b'
slow after while. Naturalists hav
recognized the fact that when develop
ment is rapid it is usually Of degen
crate kind, but the study of natura
history is not popular in Greater Nev
York. partly because there is non
5 there to study-the children on Sixtl
Avenue have to get their idea of
COW from milk can-and partly be
cause it takes too much time. Whel
ornitholosists wish to find out about
bird they sit and watch him for nour
al a time, and let him go through hi
tricks at his leisure. The Newyorkiti
would prefer a bird trained 10 do tricks
The consequence of the immense igEoI
ance of natural laws, which is one G
/ the symptoms. OF causes, of this dis
| ease, IS IHdl iiiOlS bdU WON - 30
haps done in New York than in tn
whole Of the rest Of the country put to
gether. Work which is done IN a hurT
| and under pressure is bound TO b
either crude or decadent, and if it b
crude IT soon becomes decadent. TIL
proverb soon ripe, soon rotten"
merely a statement of q law as old a
vegetable life, and the human brain
| even when developed to the twenty
first century point, still partakes Of tn
nature of vegetable ia that respect.
n |
- II was stated at the War Departmer
= Yesterday that one hundred enlisted me
q who have passed their examinations fC
9 second Iieutenancies in the Regular Arm
will have to wait an indefinite length {
time before receiving their commission
0 as the same will not be issued until aftc
= all the Presidential appointees have bee
= examined and commissioned. We are VI
r. willing to believe that Mr.. Mckinley wi
Y endorse any such rule on his return.
n savors too much Of Sampson and h
: contemptuous views concerning enliste
" men and their right to recognition il
j comparison with gentlemen like hin
d self for example.
r 1t was TOO bad. just after receiving
signed photograph Of Mr.. Mckinley fro
that distinguished gentleman, TO have Il
- old Shamrock, which failed TO "lift' Il
e Gun the last time, beat the new Shan
e rock by five minutes in a twenty mi
y triangular race But Shamrock II ma
l. a., I.,ttar apotbar time and il Sir Thorn.