Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-06-20
CHAPTER XIX.

II do not know whether it is my
conscience or my heart that is awak-
ening, thought Violet to herself;
"but | am not even so happy as
used to be-"
She was not. Her education and
training had been so different from
that of other girls; she had never
talked of love and lovers. She had
been brought up to think of love as
something to be despised rather than
esteemed. For the first time in her
life she was brought into contact with
a passionately loving woman; for the
fret time in her life she had heard a
woman speak of love. She had dis
covered what love was like to wo-
man. No matter how deep a man
loves, he cannot say much about 1t, he
says little; a woman has her love al
ways on her lips, as she has it always
living and burning in her heart.
Violet might have lived and died
without knowing her own powers of
loving, had not Miss Mari, with her
passion and eloquence, brought them
to life; and now she was beginning to
realize a truth that puzzled her. She
was rapidly falling in love with her
husband after fashion in which she
had never love- yet During that
wooing in the summer woods at st.
Byno's, the love had been rather on
his side than hers. She had fallen
In some degree under the glamour OF
1t. The wooing of the handsome
young artist had been pleasant
novelty. When she married him. she
did not know that there was a higher.
deeper, truer love than that which she
felt for him. Now she was beginning
to understand that she had rot really
loved him She knew 1t by the differ
ence in her own feelings toward him.
She had heard his loving words with
the more quickly for them. She had
taken his caresses as matter of
course; she had accepted all the love,
the homage and devotion that he
lavished on her without thinking any
thing of IL. She had never under
stood what jealousy meant. AS for
being jealous of her husband, she
would have laughed the idea to scorn.
Now 1t was different matter. Her
heart beat with a new passion, new
pleasure, new pain. She stood face
to face with great truth at last. She
loved her husband-loved him with a
love quite new to her, that had been
called into existence by the devotion
the passion, the eloQuence of another
woman.
She hardly admitted to herself that
she missed him. but she did. He had
cared for her so tenderly that the
wind had hardly been allowed to
touch her face; now she found the
difference. There was no one to take
care of her; but she herself had to
take care of others. No one knew OF
cared IL she was out in the cold or
damp, IL she felt Ill or well IL she was
biithe or sad: no loving eyes followed
her going out and coming in, no loving
words greeted her. She found the
difference between being a beloved
wife and paid companion. IL she
felt tired, no on pitied her. She could
not help. remembering the days
abroad, the balconies laden with
flowers which hung over the blue
moonlit sea: II she was tired then,
loving arms folded her, her head vas
pillowed on a loving breast, every
comfort and luxury were found for
her. Now Mrs. Ingram. although al.
ways polite, looked annoyed of her
companion seemed tired; and of late
she had not felt WELL The first time
that Violet stretched out her arms
with weary cry of "Oh Randolph
how | miss you!" her husband was
nearer to her heart than he had ever
been before.
Still sne had annulled her own
marriage: and there was an end of II
She was concerned about her health
Sh, Was so far from well that this
least exertion seemed to tire her; she
had no strength. no spirits. wher
she looked in the mirror, she saw 1
pale face with woful eyes full Of
shadows. all the brightness gone
She asked herself anxiously. Was
she i'll? Was she going to die? He
death would clear away all troubles
II she were dead, mother and sol
would be reconciled. and Randolph
would marry Miss MARI.
But the thought of it, instead c.
giving her comfortable sense o.
resignation. flushed her face with
anger II was one thing to say to her
self proudly that she would annul her
marriage: IL was quite another matter
to please them all. like good
Christian, by dying. and leaving hel
husband to the woman who loved him
No, she would not do that If she could
possibly avoid IL. She would do her
best to keep strong and we'll. Hither
to she had enjoyed robust health; she
had been so active and vigorous that
slH could not understand the languor
H41d depression that seemed never 10
leave her now. She had neve,
Thought much OF death. She knew in
vague fashion that she must die
some day. but IL seemed very far of
to her in the bloom and spring-tide OF