davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

1t is estimated that the waste from
unintelligent cooking in the United
States is over $1,000, 100000 a year.
This figure has been Endorsed by Prof.
William Mathews as about correct.
Prof. Marshal, the noted English econ
omist, estimates that about half as
much is wasted annually by the work
ing people of Great Britain in a similar
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

He-Why does woman always hold
up her skirt in that manner when out
walking?
She-Because she has no trouser
pockets, L uppose.-Chicago Daily
News
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

A swindler in New York made this
confession: IF the post Office de-
partment would let me alone 1 would
have to hire a cart to carry my
money-laden mail. Let me promise
SIS per cent. on fake and I can get
rich" And many persons who are
anxious to be soon parted from their
money are under great obligations to
Uncle Sam. protective postal rules.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Came To Mt Once

Laura hear Lulu tainted while
shopping the other day.
Lillie-Yes; tainted right on the
street.
what in the world did they do?"
Carried her into a store.'
Threw water on her, [ suppose?
mo; it wasn't necessary; it was a
millinery store they happened to car
ry her into.''@Yonkers Statesman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
THEWhTERTON'N REPUBLICAN
BY C. A. PETTIBONE.
WATERFOWL. WISCONSIN.

In sinking wells for petroleum in the
Mojave desert the prospectors struck
flowing streams of water. In such
country the water should be the great
er bonanza of the two.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

A Massachusetts paper is olsen
chanted with the month of June.
''The first half" it says, twas damp,
moist, unpleasant body of dreary
days." then the month leaped to the
other extreme and ''closed with a
protracted attempt to scorch those
whom it had not succeeded in freez-
ing to DEATH" The poets will keep
shady about this June, Diminishing it
q G y frea K
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
His Dreah

"Wh-wh-at is that noise?" gasped
Mr.. Dunno, sitting bolt upright in bed
with terror portrayed on his coun-
tenance.
80 Henry!" whispered his wife, at
Is q burglar! 1 know it isl"
~That's very comforting news, my
DEAR" said Henry, relieved, as he lay
down; 81 thought perhaps it might be
the ice collector.''-Ohio State Jour-
81
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

Cole Younger, one of the famous
pair of Missouri bandits recently re-
leased from the Minnesota peniten-
tiary, was librarian CT that institu
ton, and he spent most of ais time
in reading. When he entered the in
stitution Younger was almost illit
crate, but constant study and read
ing have made well-posted man
who can be cornered on few subjects.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

AS heat, light, language and power
can be conveyed by electricity, fame
and fortune await the Morse, Edison,
Bell or Marconi who will gather the
cool ozone of seas and mountains and
transmit it with or without wires to
cities. Prediction that this is yet to be
added to mechanical achievements is
no wilder than were prophecies of tele-
graph and telephone before the dem
onstration of their feasibility.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

The Minnesota, once a celebrated
American ship of war, has been
stricken from the naval register She
was one of the great timber-built
ships which encountered the ironclad
Merrimac in Hampton roads and was
saved from destruction with the 9TH
ers only by the timely arrival of the
little Monitor which soon put the Mer-
rimac out of the light. The Minnesota
thus survived the era of wooden war
ships, which were looked upon as in
vincible, as well as the later era of
ironclad ships, which il. their day were
regarded as something marvellous.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Rest for the bowels.

No matter what ails you, headache to a
cancer, you will never get well until your
bowels are put right. Cascarets help nature,
cure you without grippe or pain, produce
easy, natural movements, cost you just 10
cents to start getting your health back.
Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the genuine, put
up in metal boxes, every tablet has G. G. G.
stamped on it. Beware of limitations.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Both Had One,

An enthusiastic Louisiana fisherman had
great luck while fishing on the Illinois
river recently. During the day he wired
his wife: I've got one, weighs seven
pounds and is a beauty" He was consid-
erably surprised to receive the following
reply from his wife: 80 have l. Weighs
ten pounds. He isn't beauty. LOOKS like
you. Chicago Intee Ocean
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

The newest automobile runs 100
miles at an average of ten miles an
hour, can squirt at speed of 25 miles
an hour, has all the controlling mech
anism concentrated in one lever, and
is propelled by an endless screw that
does away with all chains, gear and
cogs, thus making it noiseless.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
True to His Word.

"You know you said before election
that you were friend who would di-
vide his last dollar with me-"
"That's right" said Senator Sor-
ghum, blandly; "that's right. But it's
going to be a good many years before
[ get down to my last dollar. Wash
iington Star
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

A Brooklyn man the other day bought
tickets to the Buffalo exposition for
himself and wife and the II children of
which they are the happy parents.
None of the family are sighted in a
holiday outing, and none seem to have
got away on any other occasion.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
A DOUbIef.

Oars de dubble-breasted jacket,
De dubble-b breasted sack;
Oars de dubble-breasted macintosh
Dat keeps de watah back;
Oars de- dubble-breasted obercoat,
De bubble breasted vest;
But a dubble-breasted chicken
Wud suit dis chile de best.
-ArkansaW Thos Cat
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

A German paper, upon the author
ity of Mrs. Botha, says that Gen.
French, of the British army, was cap
tured by Gen. Botha, but French
broke his parole and escaped, only to
be retaken and saved from death by
Kitchener exchanging 1000 prisoners
e.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
No USE IN SOARING.

81 am very sorry, Marie, that your
mind is concerned always with such
trivial things! You seem to have no
thought for anything better than
new hail"
whats the use? If wanted an en-
tire costume you wouldn't buy it for
!"-Heitere Welt.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Sent to Prison.

Steward Jeleff, alias c. Fl. Winter,
has pleaded guilty to robbing the First
900 on May "A. Jeleff was sentenced
to term of four to ten years, accord
ing to department The money was
all recovered
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

Innl1eeper latter wagonload of hunters
has departed -Silas, did you find room in
their wagon for them six cases of beer and
the case o whisky?
Silas--Yes, got everything in-er-gash
all hemlick! l fergot to put in their guns!
''What! We dad-yummed-oh, we'll
they'll never miss em!"-San Francisco
Rulletin
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Crop Outlook.

The weekly crop report of the
Washington weather bureau says for
Wisconsin,:
No rain; crops in southern counties dam
aged to some extent by heat ard lack of
moisture; corn in central and northern sec
lions growing rapidly; winter wheat and
rye harvested; large amount of hay put up
in good condition, yield better than antici-
pated except in southern counties; tobacco
making little progress account of
drought.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

The government expert on precious
stones at the New York custom house
reports that during the past year the
aggregate value of gems imported by
Americans was S2f, 919, o53, larger to-
tai than ever before known.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
From Our own Omar

This rose may once have been maiden's
heart
That had it's blissful beat its bitter smart;
This thorn may once have been one of the
teeth
With which she tore dry meat and bone
apart.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
What Allied Hendry,

Briggs-Hendry was rebuking me
for being enWous of people who are
better than myself. He says that is
one sin that cannot be laid at his
door
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
RenSnn for Dnuhf

I'm suspicious of this DISH" he
said as he helped himself sparingly
Il believe it's an experiment and not
properly prepared at that"
''Why?" she asked.
well, l understand it was pre-
pared by woman who spends her
time writing receipts at the rate of a
dozen a day for household maya
zine. Chicago Post
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Do Your Feet acne and Rur,,

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot Ease
q powder fer the feet. 1t makes tight or New
Shoes Feel Easy, Cures Corns, itching,
Swollen, Hot, Callous, Smarting, Sore and
Sweating Feet. All Druggists and Shoe
Stores sell it, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad.
dress, Allen S. Olmsted. LIE Roy, Ny.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Circumstances Alter Gases.

Mrs. Dorcas- Wlat does your hus-
band do during the summer?
Mrs. Gayboy-That depends on
whether [ stay at home or go away
to the country.-Judge.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
The Animal Fool

He took the old musket corroded,
And no thought of danger foreboded,
He said with a scott
That it couldn't go off,
And found out too late it was loaded.
-Judge
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Men with Weak Inteuecfs

skin" gambler to give up his gains. The
gambler, OF course, regards it as an unjust
discrimination, as a man who does NOT
read the papers enough to keep away from
steamboat poker is pretty sure to give hii
money to the first bunco man he meets
after he goes ashore.-Washingto Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Answered Without Hesitation

maria Jane" said a fond mother,
the other morning, to her daughter,
Ibid Daniel Johnson kiss you on the
steps last night?"
mo, mamma, he did not''
If the fond parent had said clips" in
stead of steps it would have troubled
Maria Jane to reply.-Tit-Bits
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Secret of 1t.

"Why do you go away for the sum-
mer? You have a nice home near the
lake with big porch and everything
possible to make you cool and comfort
able"
THAT'S just the trouble. In the
summer we must have some hardships
and discomforts in order to make us
think we are having good time. And,
besides, they are necessary to make us
appreciate home at its true value in
the fall. GO Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
The Power of Reiteration.

When first man his greatness tells,
The world with doubt receives him,
But if he tells it loud enough,
The world at last believes him.
Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
she Real Worry.

He never had trouble in meeting his bills.
That wasn't the thing that annoyed i'm.
The trouble that's freezing his spine with
cold chills
Is how he can ever avoid EN-.
Philadelphia Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
Quite True.

We are told that angels visits
Are few and far between;
In fact, no man is now on earth
Who has an angel seen.
Chicago Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

Chatterton (sourly)-Why don't you
go into the water?
His Wife (naively)-Would you have
me take all the starch out of the col
lar and cuffs of my bathing suit?-
Brooklyn Eagle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
a Full Meal,

"O'Hara wor tn greatest actor Oh
liver saw"
"He wor?"
eve wor, indade! Phwat did he say
whin tn audience bombarded him wild
cabbage?"
"Pfwat did he say?"
He towld thin to throw corn bafe
tn mkt day avn he'd how good
neal. Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
But Not Her Face

Gussie Gush-Do you know | paint?
Willie Enthusiastically, Miss
Gush, I nevah noticed it,-Ohio State
Journal,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

lone half the world don't know
How the other half lives" l laugh
When I think this refers to the wife
In regard to her better half.
Harlem Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

Secretary Wilson, of the department
of agriculture, has begun work on
model farm of 400 acres near Washing
ton, and in a few years it will be one
of the great sights at the national cap
ital. All the fruits and vegetabl of
the United States, and other countries
which experiment shall prove can be
grown in that climate, will be seen
there, also model farm buildings, mod
ell fencing and model systems of drain
age, irrigation and cultivation. To the
agricUlturists and horticulturists this
Institution will offer an opportunity for
study in every branch of their science.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

She-N.I wish I had known before 1 mar
ried you what stupid you are."-He-
''You might have guessed 1t easily when /
Up
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infallI|
bic medicine for coughs and colds w!
Samuel. Ocean Grove, n. j., Feb. H. 1900.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

Commissioner of immigration Pow
Jerry will ask congress for authority
and an appropriation to enable him
to keep track of immigrants and to
deport them if within short time
they show evidence of criminal ten
denotes. He was led to this conclu-
sion by a visit to penal institution,
where he found nearly so per cent of
the inmates were of foreign birth
who had never been naturalized The
commissioner holds that foreigners on
coming here with the purpose of max
ing this their home should declare
their intention Of becoming citizens.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
SCHI,EY TO ACT.
VIII Demand Naval Inquiry Into
Charges Against Him-Historian
MacIay to Be Sued

Washington, July 24.-The Wash
ington Post telegraphed Admiral
Schley that in an editorial it insisted
chat he owed it to himself as well as
to his friends to begin proceedings
against Mr.. Maclay, the author of the
History of the United States Navy"
to disprove the latter's charge, add
ing: "Will you do this? Please wire
statement" Tuesday it received the
following telegram:
"Great Neck, L. L, July 23.-Editor Wash
ington POST I believe the first step should
be investigation of all matter by a court,
then a civil action afterwards. I am pre-
pairing to take this course.
''W. S. SCHLEY.''
The Post, as a result of extensive
inquiries based upon the admiral's
dispatch, says in part:
Admiral Schley proposes to ask an in
vestigation at the hands of naval court of
inquiry and then to sue Historian Ma clay
for libel. His action is the sequel to the de-
velopments during the past week, when the
entire country has been stirred by the pub
LEGATION of the uneXampled abuse poured
out upon him in the third volume of E. S.
Maclay's history of the United States
navy, in which publication Schley is said
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27

The wise look dismal, 1 surmise,
Because folk won't believe they're wise.
Puck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
To Prevent Dipbtber,a

Use Hoxsie's Group Cure. No nausea 5Octs
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1901-07-27
1t Didn't Work

'You see, it was this way said
the boy. Pop was warm, and I
thought if I dropped chunk of ice
down his back it would cool him
off,"
"And did it?"
Gee! No! 1t made him hotter!''-
Yonkers Statesman.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
Grain Moved In streams.

Nowhere in North America will you
come on more thrilling night scene
than the fresh water cargo tank I'M
loading at Buffalo, says RoIlin Lynde
HART in The Atlantic. Here she lies
beneath the towering grain elevator,
which thrusts a long pumping pipe
Icalled the '1eg'D down through her
hatchway. Mount the gangplank,
lodging the spinning ropes that make
your head reel, stumble about on the
dark deck, look down, down, down
through the open hatch, and, POUNDS,
what a sight! The hold CLOVIS with
electricity. 1t is misty with blown
dust. 1t roars with mechanical activ-
ity.
An enormous steel Shovel" big as
the inside of a house and manipulated
by countless flying ropes, charges back
and forth through the whole length Of
the ship, pitching the yellow grain be-
fore it and heaping it up where the leg
can get hold of it to Whisk it into the
bin that is somewhere up in the sky.
Beneath, in the hold, an army of blue
clad men with wooden scoops" barely
dodge the deadly shovel as they swing
the grain into its path.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
snidern Arc Industrious.

No small insect ever escapes from
the web Of q spider, a fact which is
not to be wondered at when it is con-
sidered that an ordinary sized snare
may contain as many as 100000 viscid
globules. The spinner is constantly
engaged in repairing injuries to the
web inflicted by wind, stray leaves or
captured insects. Once a day the whole
snare is subjected to rigorous examina-
ton, and any broken or loosened
threads are djusted.-Cornhill Maya
zine.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
observations bx Mildred.

Scene: Tramcar. Dramatis persona:
Four-year-oId girl, mother and several
passengers.
Child lin high, shrill treble)-Mamma,
did you get papa's birthday present?
ayes, dearest"
what did you get, mamma"
cigars, lovey."
'The cheap ones that Aunt Mile told
you about?"
Silence from mamma, but heighten-
ed flush on her face that was not entire
Sy the reflection from dearest lovey's"
red velvet hat.
Mamma, that man over there has on
q dreadfully dirty necktie. You told
papa the other day that no gentleman
would wear a soiled necktie."
Man glares and pulls his coat about
his neck.
Mildred, stop talking"
Mildred was silent for little while.
Mamma, that lady over there forgot
to polish her shoes this morning.
London Spare Moments.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06

Professor Adametz, who devoted con-
siderable time to the study of the fra
grant subject, said that the population
of an ordinary cheese when a few
weeks old is greater than the number
of persons upon the earth.
Professor Adametz made some inter-
esting researches dealing with the mi
mute organisms found in cheese. From
a microscopic examination of a soft
variety of Gruyere cheese he obtained
the following statistics: In fifteen
grains Of cheese, when perfectly fresh,
from 10000 to 100000 microbes were
found, and when the cheese was sew
enty days old the population had in
creased to 100000 in each fifteen
grains An examination of a denser
cheese at twenty-five days old proved
it to contain 100000 in each gram
(about fifteen grains) and when forty
five days old 100000 in the same
small particle.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
Thunder,

Winter thunder is considered through
out Europe to be of very i'll omen, but
April thunder is considered to be very
beneficial. In Devonshire and other
cider counties of England there is a
saying that when it thunders in April
you must clean up the barrels'-in
readiness. that is, for a plentiful crop
of apples.
The French consider April thunder
to be indicative of a good yield from
their vineyards and cOrnfields.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06

Simson (angrily)-I have sent the ed
itor of The Hightone Magazine forty
two of my poems, and he has returned
every one Of them.
Friend-Don't send him any more.
He might get mad.
Suppose he Should. What could he
do?'
HE might publish one of them I'M
der your real name. New York Week
~.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.

JAMES S. CASTLEBERRY,
< Attorney at Law
Preston, a,
art and adjoining counties.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
Abandoned Cisterns.

An abandoned cistern is often a dan
gerous thing and should be filled, as
stagnant water which may remain in
it is a common source of disease. If
this cannot be done at once. it is a good
plan to throw in proper disinfectants
and gradually fill it up with sifted
coal ashes.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06

.pOICordele, Rochelle, Abb %EO.O2
4'OOlville, Fitzgerald and
Pm. IOcilla. A M
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06

To make good tea and coffee the wa
ter should be taken at the first bubble
Remember continued boiling causes the
water to part with its gases and be
come fat This is the cause of much
bad tea and coffee.-Ladies' Home Jour
nal.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
why He Never Attains Her Ideal.

a man who is earning the living for a
family doesn't have time to live up to
his wife's ideals. and by the time he
has made his money he is too old and
wants to be comfortable. - Atchison
{Kan) Globe.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-10-06
The Real Bitterness.

Mamma-But, darling, why should
you object to taking the good doctors
advice?
Bobby-It isn't his advice mamma.
It's his horrid old medicine that l hate
to take.C Chicago News.
Arizona republican., 1901-11-10
ADJUSTMENTS A
s9s..s s,s.e D l.e9ess. .s. pla is9s lle sa7s7s ,.

On Monday evening. November il, the Ruble Theater company will com mence q weeks engagement at the Doris opera house by presenting for the first time in Phoenix Mark l.. Swans beautiful comedy drama in four acts. The Princess of Patches" Never before in the history of popular priced attractions has anything so elaborate been attempted as this beautiful play. The scenes are all laid in the south and permit of the most beautiful and elab- crate stage settings. All of the seen cry and mechanical effects used in the production were bought from MT. Swan by Manager Ruble and the play will be mounted, costumed and cast as elaborateiy as when it was originally presented at the Biiou theater. Broad way. New York city. Miss Slemmons as the Princess gives a performance of the part that could not be seen to any better advantage on the New York stage. She is southern woman who has all of the southern characteristics and she lends a charm to the part that is perfectly delightful. Her work is highly artistic and has received a great deal of attention from the leading dra- matic critics. MT. Mcdonald and the balance of the cast are all seen to ad- vantage and the entire performance is rounded out in thoroughly artistic manner. Owing to the fact that the Ruble company was seen in Phoenix all summer at popular prices. the prices will not be raised-30 cents for the lower floor and first two rows in the balcony, 70 cents in the balcony and 10 cents for the gallery. Lower box seats D cents and upper box seats 90 cents. Seats are now on sale at the BrisIey Drug company, Hotel Adams.