The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-02-01

whipping post. | always thought we
should use more striking arguments than
the penitentiary against woman beaters,
users of profane language. and irreclaima-
bic drunkards. Give me the cat for the man
VINO beats mis- wife and spends his money
in drink and uses profane language. l
always admired Delaware for adhering to
the pillory and cat O. nine tails. They
are. without a doubt, two of the most
powerful helpmates civilization can have
Our State has always been in the front
rank of civilization"
DIR. John r. McCue, of Alaska, is at
Chamberlin's, and, speaking of the posi-
bilities Of that yet greatly unexplored
country, said: 81 hear that Joe Lippman
is slated for the governorship of Alaska.
Well, he's a great Joe. He's got ideas
like barrel. He wants to construct
ship canal from Yucatat Bay. in the Gulf
of Alaska, to Demarcation Point. In the
Arctic Ocean. He wants to make Alaska
an island and US islanders 1t was re-
ported that while prospecting around the
country, Joe one day ran up against
vast deposit of a peculiar substance. He
brought samples with him and made ex
periments which had great results. A
lump of the newly discovered stuff, when
warmed and swallowed like pill would
confer on the one who took 1t a great
deal of information, especially along The
line of social economy. Ground to pow
der and sprinkied through the inner part
of your clothing 1t bestowed a fine social
polish on the wearer Made into tea and
taken before retiring 1t will, when the
subject awakens be found to have en-
lowed the one who took 1t with a dis
.inguished bearing. which cannot be told
rom the genuine article, even by ex-
hl.1If into
Jour skin II strengthens the memory and
improves your knowledge Of geography
wonderfully Taken hypodermically, it
ives to the blood a peculiar property
which will cause it to turn blue and Will
also cause a nice veneer to form. Made
into jelly and eaten with pumpernickei
it improves the voice. celebrating all pro-
yincialisms and removing every trace Of
atavism. It's without a doubt the dis
.overy of the twentieth century. and
knocks the project of building the Nicara-
qua Canal into a cooked hat
About the only anecdote which was
ever told before the United States Su-
preme Court is as follows" said Senator
elect Blackburn of Kentucky at Chamber
Inns the other night: 1t was during the
Hatfield Mccoy feud. The Hatfields
came over to Kentucky and killed about
a dozen McCoys. We enticed the Hat
fields TO Kentucky territory through a
subterfuge and arrested them. One OF
them was hanged. the others were put
in Jail for life. The State of West Viz
ginia before the United States Supreme
Court instituted mandamus proceedings
against Kentucky for the recovery of the
prisoners. Proctor Knott, who was as
sisting Kentuckys case, said to Gov
ernor McCorkle of West Virginia, in the
course of the proceedings and after the
latter had asked for the delivery of the
men: Suppose we were to give them up,
what would you do with them? Instead
of answering directly, Governor McCorkle
addressed himself to the Judges of the
Supreme Court and said: Your honors,
when | Travelled out West some years ago,
| distinctly remember little, yellow,
bOwlegged mongrel dog running out from
one of the way stations and fiercely bark
ing a the train as 1t swept past the place,
evidently trying to stop it Proctor
Knott had his answer. the court saw the
point, but Kentucky won the case"