El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1901-03-16
THE BLIGHT OF THE TOOTH
PICK"

THE BLIGHT OF THE TOOTH
PICK"
Now in the beginning no man
knoweth whence came the tOOth-pick.
1t is no ne wthing. thanks be. An it
were verify would it show that our
fine. large. good opinion of ourselves
as the most advanced type ever. and
the beautiful floral offerings We have
been presenting to ourselves (again)
on the marvellous progress of the world
during the past century are mere f1g-
ments of an evanescent dream For
the reason that no sane person could
by any stretch OF brilliant imagin-
alton conceive that the busy little
tooth-pick can be classed under the
head of inventions which make for the
uplifting and refinement of mankind.
AS to that | do not believe the tooth
pick is an invention. Notwithstanding
great minds often concern themselves
over trivial things to the lasting bene-
fit of the race. il seems to me hardly
probable that any ancient genius
should have evolved from the depths
of his inner consciousness the bellef
that the world was labOring painfully
along the ringing grooves of time. ham
pered by an unknown handicap. which
same was the lack of the festiv tooth
pick hereinbefore mentioned. Or that
the placing of this deadly weapon in
the face of suffering humanity would
furnish lever to speed the wheels OF
progress and hurry civilization as joy
ously on its ways as if it had dust proof
ball bearings and were geared up to
124.
Far be it from so. The first tooth
hicks were probably not tailor made
History is silent on this point. but one
can conceive one of our forebearS, the
sturdy old roots of our family trees, as
it were finishing a heavy course din
ner. using his hair for finger bowl,
and then after searching through his
vest pockets for a match, graSping his
trusty sword scimiter. sabre, clay
more or other tool used in his partic-
uiar country for carving ones destiny
and enemies. and saving of small
portion of the festal board which forth
with became tOOth-pick.
In course of time was born one of an
impatient temperament for whom
events moved too slowly; one who per-
haps first discovered that time is mon
ey and that the effort consumed in pre-
pairing ones maSticating machinery
for the next load of coal was undig-
nified besides being a sinful waste of
golden moments: and since the method
torture and much good red gold invest
ed in fees to the chirurgeon. Resulted
the tooth brush. than which no better
implement for the purpose has yet ap-
peared.
Now it would seem that. the body po-
litic being permeated with the spirit
of progress. all men and women would
have recognized instantly the superior
ity of the tooth brush. hailed it with
Ii TOD r11s xrn1
methods to the realm of things forgot
ten.
But not. Let us pause and look about
us. Nay. let us circulate. Let us visit
any kitchen. grill. cafe. or buffet. even
any hostelry of many mirrors. plate
glass. head walters who apparently be-
long to the peerage and rates to cor
respond. wherefore gather the elite of
the travelling public. Let us single
out any member of the gentler sex,
which should surely be more partic
uiar as regards these trivial touches
that yet make or mar the whole. Here
comes one with stately step and digni-
fed bearing from out of the hall.
Now
See the pretty lady.
Isn't she a peach?
You bet she is.
She knows how to dress: is it not?
Even so.
On the street also?
Verify; she wears an automobile.
Why? Does she own a horseless |
carriage?
Not so you could see it. The only |
horseless vehicle she has ever been in |
is the FL Paso and JuareZ mule car.
Then why
Tut. tut. Because il is the real thing. |
All yes. she is making a front
Something of that kind. Not every |
one with a chip on his shoulder owns a |
lumber yard.