The Butte inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1901-1912, 1901-10-03
DEFENDS POLICEMEN
FRANK PATTER SAYS THERE ARE
EDUCATED MEN AMONG THEM.
QUOTES AN AMUSING REPORT
Officer Used Many Long Words in
Telling About the Capture of
Turtle-Bluecoats
Reception.

Potter of st. Louis at the Butte this
morning as he blew a Whit of smoke
into the air and turned to a friend near
him, Il have been thinking that some
one ought to come forward and defend
the policemen all over the country on
the charges Of illiteracy that are some
times made against them. Usually
when you see an officer quoted literally
in an eastern paper he is represented as
violating about all the rules of grammar
that one can recall at a single sitting.
Now think there is another side to this
matter and to my notion there are quite
a number of pretty well-read policemen
in this country.
Not long ago I read an article in an
eastern publication that was written by
one of the metropolitan chiefs Of police
and there was nothing slow about the
story. 1t was we'll written and, mind
you, the officer who wrote it has been
for thirty years policeman. He is no
literary gentleman with a pull that put
him at the head of great police de-
partment. He has worked up from the
ranks and yet he knows how to write
pretty well. I have noticed, too, that a
policeman somewhere in the east, l
! think it is Brooklyn. has studied for
the ministry since he was appointed to
a position where he could travel a beat.
II have met with Il number Of officers
who We're well educated men ami l dare
say there are many today just like Them
Right here in Butte l used to talk with
an officer sometimes who was we'll up on
all the current literature. He knew
something about most of the latest books
and would have matched pretty well, l
think, with the average citizen who was
not travelling in the street for living.
~ tl,n,
| educated men who make good thief
| catchers and, l know too, that some
pretty amusing results come from hav-
ing that sort of men to Go clerical work
of 81 police department. 1t sometimes
| happens that the fellow who might do
J we'll If he were holding down a crossing
corner becomes imbued with an anlbi-
! ton to do duty as a desk sergeant and
succeeds in getting the place for which
he is SO poorly fitted. ] have looked over
| the reports of the policemen in several
cities and while l am defending the
much abused copper, / must admit that
strange products are often found in his
written reports to his superiors. Occa-
sionally an officer thinks he knows all
about how to use long words and seeks
to impress the fact upon those who re-
ceive his reports The fact that more
simple language would answer his pur-
pose better makes no difference to him.
He wants to be humorous and he is,
though the way he reaches his success
is not always the same as the one he
figures on. AS sample of what some
! times come in through these police re-
ports l will just read you one that
copied a few years ago. I have it YER
batim just as it stands on the records
today and this is the way it runs:
John and Frank Martin, brothers,
who pursue the avOcation of the apostles
of yore. emerged from the boat house al
the foot of Randolph street to examine
the fishing nets which they set last
night in the basin of Lake Michigan
that surrounds the eastern extension of
Randolph street, and to their AIMEE
ment their nets had disappeared from
the surface save the portion fastened to
the boat. On investigation they found
their strength inadequate to the task Of
hauling them ashore and solicited the
assistance of spectators.
| LAS the nets were being drawn from
the depths of the azure water G huge
animal, unlike the piscatoral family,
appeared in the meshes of the net. John
cried out that it was a hippopotamus.
Frank demurred and called it a rhinoc-
eros. but on closer investigation it was
dimensions A large axe. fortified with
all the momentum that his captors could
materialize, was utilized to terminate
his vitality. Officer Coleman states that
notwithstanding the severity of the
blow from pOnderous axe. it survived
and nearly severed Johns finger
You will notice that this report has
an occasional word in it that Is not
strictly necessary for the purpose of set
ting forth the little episode which it de-
scribes. but the officer who made it evil
IDENTIFY wanted to be funny. have
preserved 1t simply because 1t is a good
sample of the extravagant sort Of
language that sometimes creeps into a
police record.
"A few years ago a lady Of some
wealth in a city in the middle west un-
dertook to encourage literary spirit
among the policemen of the place where
she was living and carried her ideas out
practically by inviting about a score OF
HSV-- L