Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-11-14
The Turtle Doves.

a present of two turtle doves, Samuel.
I wouldn't have thought it OF him.
"Clincher's fond of us, Maria.
But it's only week ago he got
them for himself, Samuel, and here
they are"
Maria presented her husband with
two doves in a wicker cage. Spo1nnS
had a general belief in human nature,
but ne had not implicit faith In
CHncher. The doves, however, Good
SO prettily and looked SO innocent
that SpofIlns became enthusiastic
about Clincher's present. The cage
was hung up outside the kitchen door,
where the doves cooed AMI cooed.
Just like a married couple, Maria,
remarked Spodlns.
Eyes, Samuel"
"Stuck in cage and can't get away
from each other-so fond OF kissing,
l mean"
The doves cooed all day, AMI
Spo1flns staggered about the garden
proud of being the proprietor.
At daybreak Spoftins awoke with
start.
Whats that!
Goo, COO, coo, coo, coo!'
"It's-no it isn't, Maria"
Eyes it is, Samuel; it's Clinchers
birds"
Sleep was impossible, so the Spot
finses came down to breakfast in the
early morning.
Il wish those birds wasn't quite so
affectionate, Maria-lisen to en-.
"Coo, coo, coo cool"
at doesn't sound so lovely as it
did"
mo they don't, Maria. I'll put them
down the garden"
Spofflns did so, with the suspicion
of a wish that some proving cat
might make meal off them.
The neighbor at the bottom of the
garden soon sent in to have them re-
moved, as the noise disturbed his
household. SpofIlns brough them into
the house, where they cooed louder
than ever.
"Clincher is smart man." NUT
tered Samuel, as he saw the reason
of his friends generosity.
Then the Spofflnses couldn't stand
the row any longer; so they gave Jane
a holiday, as she also. was getting Ill
with the coong Locking up the
house, they went to Bushey Park.
On their return they found the let
ter box filled with complaints from the
neighbors about the doves, who, hear
ing Samuel and Maria enter, cooed,
'Ill make them a present to
Plumptnimble, shouted Spoffins, as
the fiendish idea took possession of
him.
Unlocking the wicker cage he flew
round to Plumpthimbles, and made
him a present of the doves.
The Plumpthimbles were overjoyed
nothing could exceed Spofflns kind
ness-they were just what they had
always ionged for
SpofIlns received their thanks with
gloomy reserve, and went home. He,
Maria, and Jane passed. quiet night
and had breakfast without the usual
irritating accompaniment Of cooling.
But. alas! only day elapsed and the
birds were returned. Plumpthimble
didn't want them.
"Wnat shall we do?" sobbed Mrs. s.,
as the cooling began again.
do? Why, give 'em to Stiffback,
replied Spofllns.
The birds had not been five minutes
in the house when they were sent to
Stiffback as present, with the kind
est greetings. That evening the Stiff
backs called and thanked Spofflns
exubcrantly for such thoughtful and
delightful gift.
On the following day, however, back
came the doves with a message from
them.
With an expedition born of subdued
anger, Spofflns sent them to Miss
Shiver of Sparrowfield Park. "An
old maids sure to like them" said
SpoiTns, considering within himself
that he had finally got rid Of them fol
good.
Jane returned with the doves in 6
very short time, with message from
Miss Shiver to say that she had KEEP
doves before, and didn't want them.
Nobody seems to want them,
groaned Spoflns, and then in dispail
he sent them to the Red Lion Hotel
which let apartments to newly mar
ried couples.
The proprietor thought the presen
a very delicate compliment, and h
thought his guests would appreciate
the novelty.
The business of the hotel declined
so rapidly after forty-eight hour
cooing that 1t seemed probable tha
the doves would be it's only tenants
The landlord was not man to Civ
anything back or away, so he orgar
lied a rattle for the doves. One nigh
Mt the hotel, Spofin was asked to joi