Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-03-23
AND IT WASN'T A BLUFF

horse trainer who recently arrived at Ben
ming with string from Chicago. as be
refiectiveiy chewed straw, chat these
here moonfaces that are always threaten
ing to commit suicide hardly ever do 1t?
Die ever study the thing close enough to
figure it out that the folks who actually
chase themselves over the big divide sell
dom or never say anything about 1t in adj
yance?'
The old-time horseman's listener replied
that he had previously heard some such
ideas expressed
Member one case particularly" went
on the old-time trainer. plucking a long
blade of grass from the sod and eating it
with great evident relish. saw the be-
ginning and the end Of it, and it sure did
give me continuous chain Of thinks. Tell
you how 1t was I happened to beer
looking on at little game of faro bank in
a Clark street plant in Chicago one night
ABOUT seven years ago. when a whole pro-
cessfon OF the hurry chariots suddenly
pulled up at the downstairs door, and about
two minutes later all of us In the room
were under the gun and Informed that we
were about to become guests of Cook eoun-
y at the Harrison street police station.
Wn1ie none OF US particularly enjoyed be-
ing invited to house party in just that
Wsy, we didn't see any use in saying so to
t who th h,n or forty eight-foot swede cops
along in the swift calashes to the Harrison
street police station without relieving our
serves OF any unnecessary conversation
mere were about fifteen of us. and we
were spread out separately in the vacant
ceiis on the ground floor. 1t was pretty
late 70 send out for our friends to bail us
OUT; put we all made try at it, anyhow,
morning. I didn't. None Of the three or
TOUR pals that I sent to could be dug up by
,ne messengers, and it was a case of the
i ION nard board for the night Well. I was
a q hal, fhov,
game as 1t came as 1 am now, and so I
stretched out and tried to get in a wink or
Two OF ST. slumoer But this wasn't in the
cards. There was fellow In the cell to
the lett OF me who kept up the most miser-
aple moaning and whining and whimpering
over ei ans mea ato IN my life before or since.
ua anu over again he whined that his
hankered to croak s o '"'s
hin, heiay there, you? 1 finally yelled to
d aine. o smut up! What kind of pollywog
matter with bearing I'D and being a man
instead Of keeping all hands, hack here
a rest!' 'iiu ei'e Us
But the duffer paid no attention at all
10 What l said. His lamentations were SO
iouu ana excructating that the keeper of
E Sne eens came around after a while. The
keeper stood in front of the cell door and
surveyed the weary one for while
and then he said to him:
GU only think you want to pass ont.
n nsS, Out you don't. You're dead stuck on
You four horse pistols loaded to the muz-
zles with slugs and nails, and three bowie
knives, and keg of powder and a box of
n IN you'd creep over to the other end
But you wouldn't use 'em. I've heard sew
eral millions Of pinheads like You groan
before. II you'd accidentally cut the end
on your thumb with bread-knife. you'd
run eight blocks to doctors and wind up
tnere with a face on you as white as a
sheet. The people thatre dead anxious to
snunle on don't play any overture before
dolns II. Ihey just plot their little scheme
out and follow It, Now just dry up, there,
will you, and let these other cadets in here
get bit of sleep?'
The whimperer didn't pay any atten-
tlon to the remarks of the keeper, either
II anything, he lamented louder than he
mad before, and his refrain, repeated over
and over was to the effect that there
wasn't anything In existence for him and
that he wanted to die the worst way. His
mumbllngs became SO unbearable after
while that the uproar filled all Of the cells
Men cussed and derided the jellyfish. but
he was not to be quieted l fully agreed
with the keepers idea that the fellow
really had no desire in the world to cash
In his checks So, when an old trusty pass
ed by the door Of my cell, I called to him.
and handed him a pen-knife.
-" Say, said I to the trusty, Just hand
this to that zap next door to me, win
you? He's says he's aching to go off on
NUM- iof planet, ana / DeI1evo IN
giving folks what they want. The big
blade In this knife Is so sharp that you
could shave with 1t. ALI he's got to do is to
open vein. and he won't have to be taken
to court In the ebon Marie in the morning
and. what's a heap more important, some
OF us hobbled In here'n be able to get some
rest. 1 don't believe, myself, that he's got
any idea of terminating his bright and
him in this knife it'll make him SO ashamed
of himself that he'll let up on that blubber-
ing, and there'll be some peace around
here
well. the trusty grinned and took the
knife.
"'say.' he replied. that one wouldn't
even give himself a slap on the wrist. much
less assist himself over the murky range
rev dollars and his nav is worth all
kinds. and she'll get him out tomorrow
morning as sure as shooting, and he knows
1t. He's just a case OF a Percy Mont
morency with the weeps, and when I hand
him this pig-sticker he'll let out one veil
and collapse, I'll bet my hall broom
THE trusty then stepped to the door of
the groaners cage and called him over and
handed him the knife.
Just to pick your teeth with said the
trusty, sarcastically, and then he walked
away. Well. it looked as If it was going to
come out Just as I'd figured 1t. The groan-
er suddenly ceased his lamentations. and I
felt pretty certain that the knife had made
him feel cheap. I was pretty weary by
that time. and went to Sleep
Here the old-tfme trainer paused and
plucked another blade of grass.
well" said his listener, "He had been
blubbering, of course?'
''Huh7" said the old trainer, coming out
Of the brown study into which he had re-
1apsed. mot much had he. They found
him stin and stark the next morning with
both of his wrists hacked to ribbons I
never claimed the knife. and nobody but
the trusty ever knew that I'd sent II to
h1m-and he wasn't talking. 1 haven't rut
much faith in maxims since that exper-
fence. Maxims are about as uncertain as
horse-racing, and that's as strong as I can
put it."
Not Expensfve EnOugh