The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1901-09-14
COLLEGE BOYS RIDICULED.
A Kansas Judge Pays His Respects
to Them.

| "a AAaho0S JuASS RSSkSStS
to Them.
In a recent article Judge Frank Dos
ter, of the Kansas supreme court,
writes of college boys as follows:
"Among other things 1 would reform
the college student or kill him off. 1
know of him; l know we pretend to
dote Oh him and affect to believe that
he is the hope and first care Of the
state but it's lie We don't. Nobody
but his mother does. From the time
he first starts out to render 'Galla est
omnis divisa in parties tres he be
comes an insufferable nuisance. If ut
that stage Of his career his own gall
could be divided into 5000 parts in
stead of three and he left with only
one of them the relief to mankind and
to himself would be inestmable. be-
cause an infinitesimal fraction of the
whole of what he has would suffice
the needs of amy ordinary mortal
"Why do 1 say these hard things
about him? say it because he is self,
important. noisy conceited ignorant Of
all practical wisdom, parts his hair in
the middle. flaurts his fraternity badge
and school colOrs in an offensive, chal-
lenging sort of way in everybody's
face and prances up street yawping
his ear-splitting college Yell to the
fright and disgust of all timid, sensitive
folk within sound. l saw him at the
Twentieth Kansas reception, a bigger
man than Funstoll-bigger even than
General Understanding more noise
and taking up more room than the
whole procession, elbowing everybody
out of the way and drowning the
voices of the orators and the music Of
the bands with his id,otic Rock chalk,
rah. Baker! hurrslh! OF whatever the
Internal SiwasL gibberish is. l have
seen somewhat of this world and 1
think have correctly sized up Il good
many people in 1T, and 1 give it as my
mature and solemn Judgment, based
upon Il careful. unprejudiced COMPARE
son of the many classes of people who
cultivate the habit of making Il holy
show of themselves, that, with the en-
ception to be hereafter noticed the
average college student is the most
obtrusive and elephantine ass that
fronts the grieved and browning face
of heaven. / was a. college student
once myself.
Now, / am not objecting to what
this creature learns ut school. It's what
he doesn't learn that 1 am talking
about. He's lazy. He doesn't design
himself for any of the usual work of
mankind. Nobody ever heard of Il
college student who was fitting himself
for anything but one of the learned
professions, so called-that is, one of
the professions of learning how to live
Off the balance of mankind. He's go
ing to be a lawyer, a preacher, a doc
tor, an editor. an author. an orator, a
statesman, and no doubling ever ruff
tes his serencly egotistical soul that
when once he vaults into the arena of
affairs tile things of this world will
be speedily set to rights.
"But when he finally does land out
the much abused, long suffering world
gets it's revenge. The world just trips
, him up and rolls it's big self over him
and msslles THE wind out of him, and
then picks him up and chucks him
, into little Sx1O Office, with cobwebs
on the ceiling and fly specks on the
windows and two broken-leg chairs on
the floor and dozen secondhand
books in wobbly old case With the
> glass broken out, and, refusing to pay
his board bill any longer, goes off and
leaves him to learn wisdom from the
ant.
Nor have any spite at the college
J student. only think he takes up too
5 much room and makes too much noise
and costs too much money and is too
smart in the budding days Of his ca
8 reer. If he could only be induced to
: subside somewhat, to practice little
1 the modest habit of self effacement, 60
: out and soak his head, turn an X-ray
:, upon his inwalds and see himself as
h others see him, we could possibly EN-
y dure him instead of filling up with
n wicked wishes for his assassination.
,, But he won't