The news & observer., 1901-03-17
MEN, PLEASE DON'T SAY: "fF
WERE A WbMANi"

The other day Chicago clergyman, be-
ing sensible man and desiring to boom
business in his church, put want adj
vertisement" in the daily papers, asking
for "500 girls to attend service to hear
a sermon on the subject, If / Were a
Girl a live advertisement always helps
trade. The church was crowded, and the
preacher gave the girls AUme mere or
less good advise but the IF / were"
theory is too itnpfaeticable and risky fo1
general use,
Nobody knows what they would do if
they were somebody else. 1t is almost
an impossibility for a woman to put her
self into another womans place, and tell
what she would do. For a man, to at
attempt it is the height of presumptuous
folly. No man was ever a girl. More
than that, no man ever wanted to be
one, and you couldn't hire him to feel
like one for a million a minute.
Nothing is more amusing, though, than
the opinion each sex entertains of what
1t would do if it were the opposite one.
When a woman, in the heat of debate,
says to her husband, IF were man, =
she is picturing herself as a grandly
heroic specimen of masculinity, about
and accomplishments of an Admirable
Crichton. She is convinced she wouldn't
resemble the measly little specimen of
humanity to which she is married.
When man winds up his diatribe upon
the weaknesses and imperfections of the
feminine sex by telling what he would
do if he were a woman, he is thinking Of
himself as happy combination of beauty
q nd foco inf hot Il
make Venus and Minerva look like thirty
cents. He isn't contemplating himself
for a moment, as twin sister to the COM
monplace, ed-headed woman who is the
wife of his bosom.
A man may admit that he ism t
mucht to boast of as man, but
it seems to him it would be just dead
easy to be perfect lady, and a woman
may realize that she is a poor, weak,
faltcring representative CT her own sex,
yet be firmly convinced that she could
give star performance CT what a model
man ought to be. Fer while we find it
pretty hard to make much out of being
ourselves we arc sure VIC could make
a bowling success at being somebody else.
To go back to the sermon, however, in
which the preacher told his audience what
sort of exemplary daughter and sister
he would have made if it had pleased
heaven to call him to adorn the feminine
sphere, il seems worth while TO note
mans inconsistent attitude to woman in
this very matter. The kind CT woman
q man approves of theoretically, and the
kird he encourages practically arc two
very different persons
He conmcnds the grub, but he marrics
fhc butterfly The dear, domestic girl,
who takes care of her lit'ie sisters and
Erathcrs, and helps with the housework,
ard reads to old ladies. is the enc he
extols, but the pretty. frivolous creature
and keeping her hands soft and white,
and kocpink her hands soft and white,
and in nice, squcezable condition, while
her mother washes the dishes. is the
one he takes cut TO parties and invites
to the theatcr. Just as long as man has
the bcstowing of favcrs, the plain girl
who docs her duty viii have the reward
of a good conscience. The other Will have
all the sugar plums.
In his theories CT ideal wan}a nhood as
expressed in his IF / wore a woman"
views, man has settled conviction that
he would be superior to vanity and love
Of dress, If he were given the opportunity
of showing the world real human peach
He would wear a rational costume, cut
off in the skirt at high water mark
heavy boots, and would never, never cir
cumvent nature and big waist by means
CT the stay maker Yet truth compcls
Gre to admit that the women who ap-
pear in such garb are characterized by
men as trumps. Moreover, no sensible
in thicksoled shoes ever walked
over a man. He will stand up before
her and fight to a finish for his rights
every time. 1t is her faddish sister, in
trailing gowns and high-heeled French
slippers, who sets her foot upon his neck
whenever she pleases.
AS a matter of fact, the IF l were a
woman idea won't hold water Most
women have had considerable experience
in being women, and understand the bust
ness. If man were a woman and want
ed to catch a husband, he would have
to pursue pretty much the same tactics
women do to get one. Otherwise he
would be neither a man nor woman.
He would be girl bachelor.
DOROTHY DIX.
The marriage of Or. J. s. Adams. of