davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22
HIS Trouble.

PhiIadefphia Press.
HYeur life seems to be too monot-
onous,' remarked the physician; Don't
you ever have any changer"
Sometimes" replied the street ear
conductor, apologetically. but. then
there is so many mugs that never has
anything less than a five dollar bill it
keeps me huStlin' -
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

ing at you, and to speak of ba1hv car
rlage is to speak of the unknoVrn he
cause spools of cotton or silk are called
reels and baby carriages are known as
perambulators-s shortened to '.prams', in
the speech of millions
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

TUCK.
Ho. have good news for you," said
the commander of the polar expedition
This is our last boot legl''
Hereupon the crew cheered Justify, and
fell to and ate with exceeding appetite
For when they should have eaten this
they would signal to their rescutng party,
waiting in the offings there, to come and
rescue them. -. .o+t
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

Minneapolis has & smoke nuisance. BIZ.
it is not of the chimney kind The fac
tory ehimneys of Minneapolis have been
giving off but little sr116ke OF late. The
nuisance consists in. the vile stencil blown
from the lips of The, cigarette fiend, and
the other fellow who use clay pipe with
out a consumer .5
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

A little more than a year ago the great
Chauneey, in speaking of one Theodore
Roosevelt, said WE call him Teddy IN
New York. It will be interesting to
know what I'VE" call him now in New
York
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

Was it the ''Qufck or the Dead" that
drove John Armstrong Chan1er insane?
It certainly eotfid not have been tire fair
Amelie. who was so adored by her fam
lily, that unbalanced the mind of her
hubby.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

The Sampson witnesses are having their
inning. They, however, don't seem to-
be- able to make any home runs. They
are doing a good deal of sliding for
bases, but their hits are weak. This
bunting the bail will not win.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

The special correspondents at Washing
ton are filling space with accounts of
possible cabinet changes. 1t is a harm
less pastime and serves to keep their
strings up to the average length
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

: Bishop eranstol IS one of The best
verbal cartoenistssin tho West. He should
represent himself 15lfews2er, with cap and
bells if he ever takes to the pencil for a
living. s@'.s
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

An impression is gaining strength that
should an ''arnalsist's assault the present
president he would meet with something
like Jacksonian reception. But instead
of a cane, six-shooter In the hand OF
an. expert would Ibe much In evidence,
with the result that WEI would have one
"arnakst" less in 4his country. So mote
1t be. az ST.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

The story about Peart NARROWING the
surgeon of his party on an iceberg, or some
other chilly island of the arctic suggests
G. pretty good means to get rid Of the
hot-headed anarchists. A ten years ban
ishment to the North of Greenland would
cool their ardor to such an extent that
they would be willing to commit suicide
to get change of climate. ri
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-22

1t would appear from the howl of the
lam NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Republican over
the deeds of the vile cartoonist that no
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
A Pleasing Entertainment.

The Musical given by the
Court of Honor at the opera
house Thursday evening was
largely attended. An excellent
program had been arranged and
every one performed the part
assigned creditably. The violin
solos of Miss Katharine Bodine,
of Paris, were quite pleasing to
the audience and she was hearth
ly encored. Miss Mayme Hal
locks reading of Bobbie Shat
toe and Miss Sue Anderson's
recitatio of Hagar were very
fine and the ladies sustained
their reputation as good elocu'
tionists. The costumed duet,
the comic quartette, the various
solos and in fact the entire pro.
gram was good. Mrs. H. r.
Hardy who had charge of the
arranging of the musical de.
serves much credit for her un.
firing work. The great success
of the musical proves that she
understands how to get up en-
tertainmentS that please the
people. The Court of Honor
Musical will long be remember
ed by those who had the pleas
ure of being at the opera house
Thursday evening. Then, there
was the Court of Honor drill
In bright new costumes the
members of the team looked
their best and went through the
intricate movements of the drill
in a pleasing manner.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Monroe City Coal,

On the farm of Hugh Mudd
about 9 miles from this city
there is five foot vein IF ex.
cellent coal. There is only
four or five feet of dirt on top
of the coal. Mr.. Mudd is talk.
ing of developing 1t. This coal
can be put on the Monroe City
marked as cheap as coal of
equal quality can be shipped in
here and then it will give our
people work getting out the
coal and hauling it to this city.
This vein OF coal is also found
on other tracts of land and it
should by all means be develop.
ed. There is no reason why
Monroe City should send money
away for coal when we can get
Il good quality at home and can
give our own laboring men en-
ployment getting it on the
market.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
A Good Bridge.

County Surveyor J. T. Grigs
10y came down Friday and made
estimates for the bridge to spa II
Little Indian Creek at the
crossing of the gravel road and
the Hannibal and Paris plank
road. He figured on a steel
fifty foot span with solid stone
abutments. He thought the
steel would be better and in the
long run cheaper than a wooden
bridge. A small bridge to re.
place the old one over the
branch that crosses the gravel
road just north of the A. Woods
place is needed, but Mr.. Grigs-
by did not promise to talk the
county court into ordering one,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Church News.

Rev. o. B. Holiday, of Pal
myra was in the city with
friends Tuesday, He was en-
route to southwest Missouri.
Rev, E. S. Graham, of Han
nibal, was in this city with old
friends yesterday.
Rev. j. E. Travis and family
are spending the week with
relatives iE Lewis county.
Rev. B. F. Hixson was called
to Hanniba yesterday to preach
the funeral tof Mrs. NJ. E.
Weatherly.
Rev. l. w. Read attended the
wedding of friend at Jackson
vile, ILL.,, last Friday.
Rev. w. Galloway, pastor of
the Warren Baptist church, was
q warded the prize for oratory at
the LAGRANGE college last week.
GRACE BAPTIST.
There was one received for
baptism.
DR.. S. H. Ford, of st. Louis,
will conduct services Sunday
morning and evening.
PRESBYTERIAN.
Jacob Eisenhower was elected
and installed deacon.
Preparations are being made
for the S. S. Picnic to be held
at the rock house to-day.
CHRISTIAN.
Rev. r. B. Briney is attend
ing commencement exercises at
the Kentucky University.
There will be no preaching
Sunday.
FIRST BAPTIST.
Two received into the church
by letter.
Services Sunday morning and
evening by pastor.
Morning'snbject Love or rec
ognition .of others" Evening
"Enmity or Mob Law"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13

For the first time the hand
some funeral Car of G. NJ. Mich
OILS was seen on the streets Sun
day. 1t is Il massive affair and
was drawn by pair of large
handsome black horses hand
somely comparisoned and made
quite an imposing sight Mr..
Nichols will open up an under
taking establishment in this
city in a short time. 1t will be
conducted in connection with
his grocery as his wife under
tands the business thoroughly.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Whiskey.

Consistency thou art a jewel,
one seldom found and all the
brighter for it's rarity.
Old dame rumor is playing
the very duce with the Paris
City Council and under the
circumstances it ought to fess
up and tell the world it is none
of it's business, or else clear
its skirts of the persistent ru.
mors.
For two months the Paris
papers and citizens of the capi-
tol wanted to borrow the Mon
roe City bar room SO as to raise
the wind or a revenue. The
combination failed and then to
even up things it was proposed
to stick each of the nine drug
houses for 5000 each per annum.
The drug men are said to have
kicked like bay steers and
fought the electric light and
water proposition to a show
down. Then as the old dame
puts it the council was willing
to grant a saloon license to one
Able Grimes, if he would dis
pense the amber liquid that
makes a mar track like the
worm of a rail fence. Grimes
was getting along nicely with
his petition when he struck
snag, lone that would sink a
Mississippi steamer. 1t seems
to have ubeen this way. The
drug men saw that their little
privilege would go glimmering
so held little mutual consola-
tion pow-wow and concluded to
put (between them) up $1,000
per year if the council would
let them continue to run things
as at present and refuse to grant
a license.
Now old dame rumor is in
the'quizzing mood and wants to
know how the city dads can
grant that privilege to those
men, how 1t can receive the
money and account for it and
where does the farmers inter,
.ests come in. The gay old Igirl
wants to know how about the
revenue to the state and county
and why it should or could be
fixed so Paris will get $1,000
and the state and county not
one cent.
The old girl is muddled and
cannot make heads nor tails o1
the embr yo deal.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Money Lost.

MOlSy lOSt' llllle lOSl, pd-
tience exhausted. When the
three are combined one is un-
happy and that dissatisfied con-
dition comes to those who read
Colmans Rural World, The
Fashion World etc. They
carry advertisements that are
fakes and yet that very thing
ought to teach the Home Mer.
chant, the Legitimate Advertis
er that there is nothing that
pays as well as printers ink.
Here is a living illustration
from lady who resides near
this city. She (as many others
do) saw an adv. in the Rural
World and in the Fashion World
from an order house that pro-
fessed to be a bonifide concern.
1t was very desirous of placing
a fine set of dishes with some
leading lady in each town just
as sample, the receiver to use
and keep it, it's purpose to make
others envious so they would
purchase the goods which are
offered exceedingly cheap. Of
course you are expected to send
just little money, say two or
three dollars to pay expenses
then you are to get the elegant
"56 piece set" After sending
them the money you wait and
wait until tired then you write
peppery letter asking where
the set is and in reply you get
a bundle of printed stuff that
tells you to send S1.20 more etc.
then you will get your goods
etc. Rats, their only object is
to get you to work for them,
blow in your postage, send
them mailing lists that increase
their circulation, get what they
can out you and then bleed the
next Ala Jenness Miller. There
is double lesson in the above.
First. If the home merchants
would hustle through advertis
ing, the people would not be
tempted to go to order houses
for 80 piece sets, or elegant
Sterling Silver sets, nor genu.
inc silk dress patterns, 10 and
12 yards" Second. When that
is done the home merchant
would get his home trade and
the home people would get
what they pay for, neither more
nor less. Third. And home
papers would cease to be
tempted by outside concerns to
carry their advertisements
But right there as a matter OF
pure business, is there any rea
son that will apply to paper
that will not apply to the mer
chant when it comes to reach
ing out for and expanding its
business?
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Look Out 2O.21.

The Sth Annual Session of the
North Mis- souri, Medical Asso.
citation will convene in this city
Thursday at = p. m. the goth
inst, and remain in session dur.
ing the 21st. Monroe Hotel
will be head quarters and the
sessions will be held in the
Opera House. A good turn out
of physicians and surgeons OF
North Missouri is expected,
The invocation will be by Rev.
DR.. w. A. Hatch. Address of
welcome still unsettled. The
President j. j. Norton M, D..
will deliver an address and
those who know him best are
looking for treat.
A program of 33 papers bear
ing on very interesting subjects
has been carefully prepared.
The city should throw itself
W ide open and for the time be
ing give IA clear Quit Claim III
tie Deed to the M. DIS. wht
honor it by their presence.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Curled Tails.

Hugh M. Clark has had an
exciting time over the short
comings of his black friend,
Glen Taylor. Mr.. Clark went
10 Texas and left Glenn in charge
of his stock and he charges Glenn
with taking advantage of his
absence and selling hogs to his
friends real cheap; and of course
hogs have to eat, and as some of
Clem's friends did not own Il
grain OF corn. Glenn is said to
have sold them some at reduced
prices. Anyway Hugh had CIem
put behind the bars. But Glenn
was made to fess up beautifully
and tell where some twenty Of
the porkers were. Then Mr..
CLARK reasoned this way with
Glen: See here, you black mig
ger, you stole my hogs. now,
blue, blue, it is no worse co
steal them back than to steal
in the first place. So Glen took
his masters adyice and drove
the wagon TO several pens and
loaded the hogs up and took
them where they were supposed
to belong. Some Of the hogs
had to be replevined, and as
some had been sold they are
! hard to locate. But there is one
/ thing in Mr.. Clark's favor. the
recovered hogs have grown to
beat the band, in fact they are
now SO large and fine that they
are worth more than the original
lot that Glen let his friends
have so cheap, consequently he
is not really out any thing, but
the troublesome question, what
will the fellows who have beeL
stopping and feeding those
porkers do. At present it is a
wind storm, but may develop
into hail or cyclone. Oh no
it would not do to let Glenn the
faithful servant of seventeen
years standing lauguish in jall,
so Mr.. Clark's son, Miller,
hustled around and found bonds.
men. Hugh B. Mudd and Col.
w. T. Youell 10 stand good TO
the tune of $500 for Clem's ap.
peararce before the grand jury.
This little pig tempest may de-
velop a hog and corn storm,
because Bud Handley's corn
has a sly way of shrinking in
the crib and in spite of the
stock pens being seven feet high
nice spry porker in the same
mysterious manner scales their
heights and disappears so there
is nothing but tale in sight
next morning when Messrs.
Sharp, Gray, Barger or Nc
Clintic go to count noses.
There has been several curly
tails out of sight that should
have been in sight.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13

Hayward, Dunn & Dunn,
Shelbyville realestate agents
deserve success and will meet
with it. They are not afraid
to spend Is cents to advertise,
One of their plans is to dis,
tribute fine blue print maps of
Shelby county which show
location of churcbs, school
house, roads and telephone
lines.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13

Mrs Nancy B, Irvio, of Chica-
go is Offering 1000 for the
sight of an Honest Man. She
can fl d lots of tEem at Paris
figuring on how /" raise
revenue to pay for The Electric
Light and Water PLInt.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13

South Main is putting on airs.
The front of Pete Werner's
place of business has been paint.
ed red and F. Christians bar
ber shop has been put in red
white and blue.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
Flower Day.

Saturday was flower day for
the w. G. T. US, so we were
told and asked to make a note
of it last week. But the dull
routine of desk work was not
broken by a single posy. The
editor had and still has his pen
Gil, pad of paper and when
tired dingy wall to rest his
eyes on, but nary posy. he
can labor through the dark
shades OF life and try to bright
en- the lives and prosp ects, for
others, but, nary posy is
thrown his way. When posies
are wanted in his dull work he
is supposed to dig them up
from his internal machinery
and then feast his eyes on
them. But sure. what business
has posy in room where the
Devil always works, works for
others. But after all mabe it
wasn't flower day. only Il dream.
We were informed Tuesday,
that the Hatch Telephone Co..
expected to get into Monroe
City either Saturday or the first
of the week. Also that an ef-
fort is now being made by some
parties to get control of it aud
let the farmers out. 1t is a
question for the farmers to de-
eide whether after building the
line they want to step aside
and put the fruit of their labor
into other hands or not. Steph-
Ell Kendrlck is Justly proud of
the part he has taken in its
erection and believing it to be
a good thing wants to hold out.
May be Steve is counting on do
ing his counting by the phone
IN bad weather, thereby taking
no chances on the rheumatism.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13

Mesdames j. MaStin and j.
Howe, drove out to the north
river hills Saturday to have
several days pleasure and an
outing that tney could always
look back to and be glad they
went. The visit was caused by
the happiness of their friends
Mr. and Mrs. Henry KIzel, who
were celebrating their 30th
marriage anniversary, 1t
would not do to say that the
sumptous dinner had any thing
TO do with the ladies long drive
but it is a safe guess to say
they did full justice to it and
that every thing went as nerri.
ly as it did 30 years ago.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-13
The icecream and strawberry

The icecream and strawberry
social at Mt. Vernon church
Friday evening was a very en-.
ioyable affair and largely at
tended. C. Nj. Sullivan aud
Miss Mary Landers, Onie
Rhodes and Miss Mi dred
Scott, Theo Settle and Miss
Maude Hawkins, Ira Nelson
and Misses Lena Wunch and
Gertie Sharp, Charles Sharp
aud Miss Lib Emery and Messrs
J. j. Fitzpatrick a d Will
Stephens of city were there
and had II pleasant time.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-12-09
CURSE OF DRINK
CURED BY
WHITE RIBBON REMEDY.
Can be given In Class OF Water. Tea or cof-
fee Without Patients knowledge.

White Ribbon Remedy will cure or de-
stroy the diseased appetite for alcoholic
Sumulants. whether the pa tient t. a con-
nrmed tnebriate. "a tippler' social drink
er or drunkard Impossible for anyone
10 have an appetite for alcoholic liquors
after using White Ribbon Remedy
ENDORSED BY MEMBERS OF W G r II
Mrs. Moore, Superintendent OF the Wo-
mans Christian Temperance Union,
writes: 81 have tested White Ribbon
Remedy on very obstinate drunkardS and
the cures have been many. In many
cases the Remedy was given secretly.
Cheerfully recommend and endorse White
Ribbon Remedy. Members of our Union
are delighted 10 hnd a practical and eco
nomicsl tree tment 10 aid us in our tenn
persnce work"
Mrs. West. president or the woman's
Christian Temperance Union, states: II
know Of so many people redeemed from
the curse OF drink by the use OF While
Ribbon Remedy that | earnestly request
you 10 give IL = trial" For sale Nv
druggists everywhere. or by mail 81
Trial package free by writing or calling
on MRS. A. VI. TOWNSEND (for years
Secretary of the Wonan's Christian Tenn
persnce Union) 21s TREMoNT ST.. BOS-
TON, MASS. Sold in Providence by the
Hall e. Lyon Co, 2,s Westminster street.
and cor. Westminster and Msthewson
streets.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-12-09
Mrs. GOsIst TO RscsIvs Share
In tho Estate Of Her Neither
CHILDREN ALSO BENEFICIARIeS
Mrs. Caroline WaHsn' Left Personal Estate
Valued At Ks'riy s2;ooo,ooo, Be-
sides Much Realty.

New York, Dec. s.--Mrs Harriette w
Goslet, widow of Robert Goelet who died
on his yacht OFF Naples ON. April a. 1893
VIII add TO her already large fortune up
on receipt OF her share in the estate OF
her mother Mary Caroline Warren. who
died Ia this cityson January rs last. Mrs
Goelets interest in this estate is esti-
inated AT about syfs 600. and her son. Rob
ert Nslton'Goelet, and her daughter. Bca-
irlc- .Gpslet, also have a small interest
ia 81
Mrs. WarrsHs gross personal estate is
estimated at 81. i.sO1,coo. The value OF her
realty is not known. She made a will
some time prior TO her death. appoint
Ing her thrss sons--George Henry War
rem Whitney Warren and Lloyd Warren
-VeNeeutors and trustees Of her estate.
She made specific legacies in her viii.
ssgresatins Nos.ooo, including liberal gifts
10 servants who had been in her employ
Tor years, Her 1ewelry, precious stones
and personal ornaments were beouea thed
Ia her two daughters. Mrs Goelet and
Edith Caroline Warren Miller. and after
providing FOR the payment of the various
requests ito other relatives and friends
the rssidusry estate was left to her chill
dren, three sons and Two daughters.
whose Interests average s27s. 900, with the
exception OF George Henry warrens,
which is ts2 seo
Mrs. Warren left debts aggregating
Seo2s. The executors commissions are es-
umated at sS4.aoo and the expenses of
administrs tion. including counsel fees,
a Sb, ma. The teSdatrix had cash on de-
post with Van Enbureh & Atterbury
when she died amounting TO ss0a42 and
since her deaih there, has been collected
as dividends on shares Of the Pennsyl-
Vsnia Coal company. sold prior. To her
death. @1 ,2W.
Included in her personal estate are 1856
shares OF the Rensselaer, aud Saratoga
Railroad, valued at s7p2 s56; 1900 shares
OF United New Jersey Railroad and Canal
company. worth sl4.0Oo; 1910 shares Of
Pennsylvania Railroad, s7s. 226; 60o shares
OF New York Lackawauna and Western
Nl COZ; 60e shares 81 Cleveland
and Fittsburc, $1,000: 81 shares Of Metro
pcluan Trust company, 81. 900: 4O0 shares
Consolidated Gas company, s14Va: 900
shares or Metropolitan Opera and Real
Estate company, $500 soO shares Pitts
burg, Fort Nsyue and Chicago. So. 900.
and ~ Texas Pscine Railroad conson-
dated Nrst mortgage bonds $4,000
Mrs. Goslet, whose husband was many
timer millionaire, has been compelled
tn hiring an action in the supreme court
fer a construction of certain clauses in
her husbands will and for an accounting
with respect TO his real and personal
property, owing 10 the fact that the exc
cutors are uncertain as 10 the meaning
Df portions of the instrument.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-12-09
sprcTAclIs IN psovlstncu.

Take your stand at any street corner
and nete the spectscled people who pass
Glance around the interior of an electric
esr--if you can see SO far-and reckon
the numher OF spectacle-users
Watch the merry school children al
play, and see the round goggles hitched
behind the infant ears
No wonder the casual observer fears
lest the fate OF the eyeless hsh in the
Mammoth cave of Kentucky should over
take the American people, and for lack
OF proper use, the eyes OF the nation
shsuld disappear.
But The outlook 10 not really so ter
risls TO Edward r.. Dammers. the ia
NOUS sYesght specialist. n press repre-
senistiv. is Indebted for the other side OF
sNo." said Mr.. Dsmmers. I'VE are not
going blind. ON the contrary. our sight
Is much better. ophthslnnic hospitals
viii tell YOU that diseases Of the eye are
Issxeniug
"How'is It, then. one sees 80 many
persons wearing spertsclss?'
I'm general | sscrihe II TO the fact that
modern occunsti demand keener vis-
Ion. Take the case OF the young girls
emnloved in weaving.
~ girl may have very fair sight.
aud would not think OF wearing spectscles
in the ordinary way. But she finds ths
she cannot turn out as much work as
the girl next To her. Then II becomes
question OF wage earning. and she gets a
pair Of glasses.
80 Il IS among girls engaged in type
writing. dresrnaking and other ocCIpa-
lions demanding good sight.
Eighty per cent OF people have de-
fective vision. and the ordinary man al
most Invariably has one eye slightly
stronger than the other