The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-04-13

K2ttans a ham And why not?Y
may be cured. KANSAS City Star.
Wooph-Pm glad my salary isn't mil
lion a year;
"oh. I'd lose. too much every. time I
took day off."-Baltimore American.
An Irish recruit had the misfortune to
to custom, the sergeant strobe up to him
to d5smount?"
II did, sorr."
Where from?''
Prom hindquarters. yer honor" said
Paddy, with a grin-Tit-Bits.
Quizzer-Who was that portly gentle
man We saw in the basement of the
Quiggle-Oh. that is the school baker
man, eh?-Ohio State Journal.
what do you think of Altgeld,s book
on 'Oratory and It's Rewards p
7 think he picked out the wrong sub
..What should it be?"
. 'Idiosyncracies and What They VIII
Do for Man. Chicago Evening Post.
Mrs. styles-4Are you going out on your
Bridget-Indade. I'm not, mum; I d not
break the Sabbath day. mum
man
Her brief annual season is nearly
w nat DO you mean by thatI'
''Why, her readings are popular only in
Lent, and she has to make enough money
then to keep her going the rest of the
How do you explain it?'
'Oh. you'll understand it If you ever
ana her delivery SO Wear wearisome that also So
Getty accepts her as penance- ''-Chicago
Evening Post.
Why is i that Beer troops. as a rule,
1T may be an outgrovth of the idea
close shaves otherwise Philadelphia
"Remember; my little man. the preach
said: Nothing can damage me but my
st. Bernard was a wise and good man
who lived about thousand years ago,
ooh, we'll said little Arthur mo won
der he said it They didn't have trolley
cars then "-Chicago Times-Herald-
Mammal wish I knew whether Mabel
really cares for that young man down
Papa--An right. RI step out to the
front door for 6 minute and peep into
Mamma-Nonsense! What could you
DPapa2The gas. if she cares for him.
Philadelphia Record
.'Theren be big bargains at the fire
sale today remarked Mrs. Schoppem at
breakfast. Il think I'll run down there
How paganisht,'
What's paganish?"
why, participating in burnt sacrifices. "
Philadelphia Press.
Some time ago the new station master
at a small country village received a. large
cheese decidedly high addressed to
Mr.. Blank. and labeled Ito be called for
A fortnight passed. but no one came to
take it away, SO the following note was
dispatched to the senders: IF the cheese
which was sent here, addressed to Mr..
Blank, is not claimed in two days it will
be killed. ''-Tit-Bits.
ReaIism.-Et we played hus-
band and wife. I kissed him and said he
was the handsomest man in the world
gloves Life.
Great Matrimonial Trust.-He-sT asked
your fathers consent to our engagement
swer?'' He-s'Oh. he just said I don't
know who you are but it's all right =
Fun.
woman with such air of supreme in
difference" I'm what way have you no.
ticed it2' why, she never even looks
after another woman to see how her dress
No Fatalfties.-Mrs. Gooph-s'I told my
husband I should simply die If he did
not get me a new Easter bonnet" Mrs.
Wooph-'And did he get ft?'' Mrs. Gooph
well, you haven't seen any funerals
leaving our house, have you?"--Baltimore
American
Desperation.-Aunt Dinah-'Heah's a
lettah from de folks in Alabama Says
ole Uncle Eph has made three desperate
attempts at suicide inside of month"
Aunt Rutf-"Deah mel Do it saw how 2'
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