The age-herald., 1901-11-10
Wby Dogs
 Cannot Read
.sSz<sEE$-

great many years ago, even before au- tomoblles were invented, Mir. Dog used to live with Mir Man, just as he does now Any cEe would think that he should have learned company manners and know how to behave almost as nicely as your eldest sis- ter when there is company to dinner, but any one of you who is acquainted with very many dogs will know that he did nothing Of the kind. This Mir. Dog of whom speak dh comEsoic- to learn a great deal, but he found that there appeared to be draw. backs too much.
 One day he was watching MT. Man churn, when Mr. Man said that if Mir. Dog wanted to have more fun than he had ever heard of he would better learn to churn. MT. Dog was always looking for fun, and he said that would be just the very thing he had been wanting to learn for long time. MT. Man rigged a contrivance at once, whleh made the ehurn work beautifully whenever MT. Dog walked up a little row of slats. MT. Man said that the greatest fun of all was to be tied fast so he tied MT. Dog fast to the string. MT. Dog walked up the slats and had fun for quite a while, and then he round that he was so very tired that IL would De more fun to He down and rest. He called to Mir. Man to come and let him loose, but MT. Man was busy having fun chopping wood and so did not hear Mir. Dog, who had to keep on walking, so that the slats would not slide out from under him and leave him suspended by the neck.
 After a long time the milk was all churned Into butter. and MT. Man came and let Mir. Dog loose. MT. Dog did not even say Much obliged" to Mir. Man, but he crawled off and lay down and slept for two days and nights without ever waking up.
 A few days later Mir. Mans son Tommy was working his best at carting apples in a little wagon from the orchard to the cellar. He was very tired and wanted to stop, but he did not dare, for his father had told him to take them all in. He smiled behind his ears when he saw Mir. Dog coming and he looked just as happy as only boy can when he smiles that way.
 Good morning, Tommy" said Mir. Dog as he came up "You look as happy as puppy with a fve-pound tenderloin steak"
 "Oh, yes; I am having such fun here," re- piled Tommy. Then he asked MT. Dog if he did not want to have some fun, too; but MT. Dog remembered about the churn, when he could not stop when he wanted to, and he said he guessed he would try to get along without fun that day. But Tommy said that 1t was just perfectly glorious, and that If MT, Dog would only try it, he would let him look at his picture book. That sounded nice, so Mir. Dog let Tommy har- ness him to the little wagon. Tommy piled the apples into the wagon and MT. Dog had to draw the load to the house, and it was all up hill all the way, too After four or five trips MT. Dog became tired and wanted to stop, but Tommy would not un- harness him, and so, of course, he had to go on.
 Tommy made MT. Dog keep pulling these heavy loads until they had taken all the apples to the cellar. Then Tommy unhar- messed him and asked him how he liked learning to draw the wagon. ''I didn't like It one single bit," said MT. Dog, "and I want my picture book to look at" So Tommy got the picture book, and MT. Dog took 1t off and sat down under tree in the neld He was looking at the pictures and having fine time when Mrs. Cow came along and looked over his shoulder My goodness mel" she exclaimed. Do read Co me what it says under that picture of the eat and the fiddle and the COW jumping up an the air. MT. Dog could not read bit. but he was ashamed to say so, so he made m rhyme. Why certainly" he said:--
 Bow WOW! Sukey the COW,
 She turned a fipnap in the air;
 When she landed a cat
 Said if she could do that
 Ehe could be the prima donna in his opera
 troupe.
 You see, Mir. Dog was in such a hurry that he couldn't make the last line rhyme. but Mrs. Cow did not know much about poetry. 80 she did not know the difference.