The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-03-29

played poker, but it does 1t on carpeted
floors. with genuine ivory chips, while
sufficiently draped SO as not to offend the
eye of the stranger. The town was
never four tiusher. Another commend
able characteristic Of the place is that it
is clean. It never neglects to regularly
wash and scrub itself and change it's
the kingdom Of heaven, it gets itself
ready to be successful seeker by Wig
0rous application Of soap and water.
Drummers say the town buys more high
priced soap than any other place in thu
state. kansas City Journal.
Jack-"I admit don't understand you.
You women are all puzzles.'
Jill (which proves that you men are
| all Stubborn
Jack-"Indeed?
Jill-Yes, YOU simply won't give us up
Philadelphia Press.
The little daughter of a well-known
actor was once helping her parents to en-
| terrain some visitors, and she succeeded
in the usual unexpected way of childhood.
| The talk was running on theatrical mat
ters, when one of the visitors, a lady not
unknown to footlight fame, turned to the
little girl and said:
We'll. Eirgie, suppose you expect to
| be great actress, too, when you grow
up?'
"Oh, no." promptly replied the dear
child, mamma intends me to marry!'
Feminine Feeling.-Miss Gush-"Isn't
Mr.. Freshleigh dear! He told me. yes
terday that he loves me!' Miss Thrust
I'm not surprised; he wouldn't wound
any ones feelings for the world by tell
ing them the truth.''-Ohio State Jour-
| nal.
At the banquet of the Princeton Alum
nj association the other night one of the
speakers told the following story con-
corning an old clergyman of his ac-
Quantance, at which no one laughed
with more heartiness than the two rep
resentatives of the clergy present-Rev.
DR.. Francis Patton and Rev. j. Wynne
Jones:
This elderly clergyman of whom l
am going to tell YOU" said the speaker,
had as friend much younger divine.
who made a practice of writing out his
sermons days before he delivered them.
One day the elderly minister said to him:
| 90 Look here my young friend, you
should never write your sermon before
preaching it. Don't you know that the
whole time you are writing the devil is
looking at every word you put on the
paper? AS soon as you are through he
makes the rounds of your congregation.
and, making use of his knowledge of
counteracts the effect.
Now, when get up in the pulpit the
devil himself can't tell what I'm going
to say baltimore Sun.
An 1nference.-The Professor-"Yes. a
caterpillar is the most voracious living
thing. In month it will eat about 600
| t1Y1ont 1fc S<.1>A
not-"Whose boy did you say he was %
Harper's Bazaar
Farmer. Rich-''I see our boy Joe is
gittin' to be quite speaker, but b'gosh, I
think they'd orter give him somethn'
better'n a box to speak from"
| Mrs. Rich-"Somethin' in the paper
about him, is there?"
Rich has developed splendid delivery,
and It is understood that he will occupy
the box for harvard this year. ''-Phiia-
delphia Press.
| She was beloved by Cholly's man.
This maid, whose name was Sally.
My fower,' he called her, pure and
| white:
Th city lily Of the Valet E''S 4'''s
Philadelphia Press
Twill you please examine this dia-
mond.' said a man who had stepped into
a jewelers. shop, as reported by House
hold Words, land tell me what you think
of it? If 1t is good stone l think will
buy it,"
| The jeweler took the gem. which was
unset, and looked at it critically for a mo-
ment. Then, in confidential tones, he
said:
well, to tell you the truth, that isn't
T.
it is badly cut. and there is something
here very much like flaw" Then he
held the diamond under microscope and
examined it carefully, finally observing,
NO. it isn't exactly flaw, but shouldn't
call it perfect stone. Now, if you want
something really fine, have here"
ed. Il don't think I'll buy diamond to-
day. This is diamond that one of your
| assistants let me take on Saturday on
approval. l deposited $40 on it. Please
let me have my money, and we will de-
| clare the deal off,"
Mr.. Dukane-"Now which of all these
dogs is the most eXpensive"'
Mr.. Gaswell-"Can't say as to that.
but should think that the Skye terriers
come highest. '-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tel-
egraph.
'Were you ever taken for minister?'
asked the soubrette.
No. said the leading man with the
spiritual face, but I've been treated like
| one"
"Eh?"
II have sometimes been compelled to
wait six or seven months for my salary"
| Indianapolis Press.
A Campbellite evangelist is in Pratt,
Kas., and the local papers describe him
as a ''stemwinder." and declare che
strikes right from the shoulder and gives
it to the devil both fore and aft
Quite Proper.-Miss De Style-"Oh.
I've just planned the sweetest Easter
bonnet. It's to be" Mrs. De Style ire
provingly)-"Fie. should think during
Lent, at least, you would refrain from
dwelling upon earthly things" Earth
ly! Ny gracious, mamma, this bonnet
will be perfectly heavenly Philadel-
phia Press.
I'm not such fool as lookv' said
Mop said Curtis. *What kind are