The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-05-25
ALONG THE KANSAS NILE.

In Kansas, this year, gentle spring can
not get even a toe-hold. It is stiu cold
and clamy and disagreesble.
The trouble with the Democratic party
Of Kansas is that il is willing TO trade
the universe of for the federal patronage.
Topeka has new police judge at last,
and now II viii be necessary 70 find some
one else to blame Tor the failure Of pro-
hibition locally.
Eastern Kansas has such poor idea of
the Arkansas river that il believes that
Colorado can 60 at night and steal the
river with a sponge.
The money has all run out Of the treas
ury Of the Populist state central commit
tee, and another appeal IS being made TO
the faithful to whack up and save the
party.
On seating Mayor Hughes, OF Topeka,
it is said the supreme court stood: John
ston. Ellis. Cunningham, Green for
Hughes; Pollock. Doster and Smith
against him.
Inspector Of Rural Mail Routes Gilbert.
Of Atchison, says that Kansas farmers
have awakened to the fact that the rural
mall scheme is pure gold, and all are
clamoring for IT,
A soldier passed through Atchison the
other day on his way from the Philip
pines to Fort LeaVenworth. I don't Ike
soldering" he said, but haven't work
ed for three years and never intend to
work again"
The new law which compeis officials IN
Kansas 70 appoint old soldiers 10 public
places cannot be monkeyed with In
Cherokee county there was contest be-
tween a Republican and a Democratic old
soldier for the place Of Justice Of the
peace, and Governor Stanley had 10 ap-
point the Democrat.
rr,1-o rr,--,- ,,.--.-~.-.-.--.- -.
ending up every report dealing with the
condition OF growing crops with and the
farmers are happy The farmers are
not. The only time they are about 10 be
happy is when the wheat is in the bin.
and just about that time fear OF winter
Kill comes in and brushes the joy IN their
hearts.
Here IS q Kansas story which sounds
as II Il were new: A ventrfloquist walked
into saloon with dog and said: "IH
take a beer" And the dog. in a high
voice, said: IN take a ham-sandwlch.
The bartender leaned over the bar 10
great establishment and asked: Whats
that2' Talking dog" said the ventrilo-
quist- On be darued," said the bar
tender filing the order and thinking
When the dog had completed the ham
sandwich the bartender said. I'm in-
terested in this thing. and this time t. 8
on the house. Whatu II be?' "Tn take
another beer" said the ventril0aulst
III take another ham-sandWich. " said
the dog. The bartender served them ard
Went around in front Of tho bar and look
ed at the dog in astonishmeut ''Strang-
er," he said. Il can have oodles q fun
out OF that dog. / can paralyze the fsl-
lows III give You a thousand dollars
for him Not for sale" said the ven
triloquist IN give you a hundred lf
you'll lend him to me Tor a week pro-
posed the bartender The veutrilodufFt
considered and said * was q 90. and
started out The dog followed him and
piped. Did you sell me 20 that red-facs8 .
cock-eyed lop-eared monkey behind the
barr Vow. quiet down" SAID The ven
triioQuist- Don't get ratified didnt
sell you. lsimply loaned you ~ him Tor
week" You simply loaned me" aal1
The dog and that's the way you treat
me. Let her 90. Dang ny pictures. III
never speak another word.
Representative z. D. AcKcever. speak- (
er pro TEN q the house du-Iug tha last
session O. the legislature. r. q paper read /
that Doodle members % the legislature f
are quotelt - from s. - $40 - rrufz-
Eionsl lobbyists. ard that TIE loinr'7 ts
generally get the money hack in poker
games IN regard 20 Doodle affairs ~ t1e
legislature, Zee says After serf-E
AlAAN.A1-s aH..tt a1t.'--7 .Aa taal'a.-a
ing any prete1se - slv exceptional ~ .
extraordinary brand 81 screetF. - % I'D
deliberate opinion mat j. does llt pas -
prostitute wcur Fcte ard rcur i1.Er-re
III the legislature Ter Money. FL fLe Eret
place. rke average member who ie ln fle
bcodiiu- bu1ress does rot crue fig- A +
hundred dollars VIII easily catch fi1 ard /
they have beer quotes as los as Eve IT.
Is net apt % te wanted rfle- ard rlEre-
fore his opportunities are limited -
he commands tle Eg1ast squire hls
money EEUallF CONS eaET- ard er ffe
laqele ~ Invariably ecker player. pla-
pc gets tE 1lhllT meas III tlc lag
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every r ~ tle test lersss1re acc
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