St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1901-05-01
Funston and the SwiveI-Chair SOL
dlerS.

Having accomplished the feat of arms
which the gold-laced, highly trained
heterogeneous have for two years been
steadily failing to accomplish the cap
ture OF Aguinaldo, Gen. Funston must
now prepare to have heaped upon him
by the war department the opprobium
which he deserves. He must be made to
realize that although he captured the
head and front of what the major
generals studiously term "the organized
opposition to the United States forces"
he did it in a manner which violated
most Of the regulations of the United
States army, several of the articles of
war, and variety of the rules which are
learned at West Point.
But Funston, then a common volun
teer-and from Kansas at that-broke
into this Philippine business without the
invitation OF the adjutant- generals and
major-generals and other red-tape ex-
perts who have been playing with it for
two years, and therefore he can hardly
be expected to know all the rules of the
game. Now that it is all over he doubt
less bitterly realizes what bad form he
displayed in his precpitate action in the
forest when he grabbed the 1.-THE insur-
gent chief around the waist and told him
to lie quiet or get hurt. He did not real
ize at that moment how very much this
rude action savored OF the arrest of
disturber of the peace by common po-
liceman.
With Aguinaldo safe under lock and
key. the high-salared and expertly
trained members of the How Not to Do
1t Club are verbose in their explanations
of how that willy chieitain should have
been captured without doing violence
to traditions of the Army and of the
Infallible Red Tape Division of the gov
eminent service. When Funston learned
from Filipino traitor just where Aguin-
aldo was be should have shot the traitor
at sunrise for being a spy. Then, with a
band and few regiments OF troops he
should have moved grandly to a posi-
ton few miles from Aguinaldo's CAPT
tai, and, should any of the troops have
been lett after the ambuscades they
would have passed through, he should
have sent a detachment OF them ahead
under a white flag to tell Aguinaldo that
the great American general was willing
~ Sihhl nun all duulSuCe. MednW DllS
ne should have cableu to the Infalible
Red Tape Division of the Government at
Washington to learn what terms he
might offer the insurgent chief when he
surrendered. After a wait of two or
three DAYS during which Aguinaldo
would have moved a few hundred miles
further into the country, the survivors
of the white flag detachment would have
returned and have had the honor to
report that they failed to meet Aguin-
aldo. Thus General Funston, while he
would not have actually captured the
chieitain, would at least have shown
proper respect for the traditions and pre-.
cedents OF the army and could have re-
turned with flying flags to Manila.
But with that blatant disregard of the
sacred cow known as "the customs of
the service" which ever characterizes the
laundering volunteer officer, Funston got
the strange idea that the way to end the
instruction was to capture Aguinaldo
and that the way to capture Aguinaldo
was to go out and get him - Frank X.
Finnegan, in Saturday EVENING" Post.