Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1901-09-26


sounds too much like th' endin iv' a
comic song. An firm Missoury, too.
Fuller? Another thraitor, an what's
worse judge. Well there's Cleve-
Hol' on there, don't ye throw it !
Put down that chair, tell ye.
"Ye're hard to suit, Hinnissy. I've
named thin all over an taken me life
in me hand with half iv thin an lost
my reputation fir common sinse be
mintionin' tn others. Whin lead a
man in through wan dure ye read him
out iv another an throw tn book af-
ther him. I'm thryin to find man
rr Ye to upheld tn banner, so that ye
can march shoulder to shoulder to
an heart to heart to mimrable vlct-
ry, an ivry time mintion tn name
iv wan iv yeer -Dimmycrats ye
make face. What ar-re ye goin to
do? Ye might thrY advertisin in tn
pa-apers. Wanted: A good, active,
inergetic Dimmycrat, sthrong iv lung
an limb; must be in favor iv sound
money, but not too sound; an anti
impeeryalist, but fr holdin onto what
we've got an inimy iv thrusts, but a
frind iv organized capital; a sympa-
thizsr with tn crushed an down
throdden people, but not be amy
means hostile to vested inthrests +;
must advocate sthrikes, cover mint be
injunction, free silver, sound money,
greenbacks, a single tax, a tariff fr
ravinoo', tn CONSTRUCTION to follow tn
flag as far as it can an no farther,
civil service rayform iv tn la-ads in
Office an all tn gr-reat an gloryous
principles iv our gr-reat an gloryous
party or amy gr-reat an gloryous
parts thereof. He must be akelly at
home in Wall sthreet an tn stock
yards, in tn parlors iv tn r-rich an
tn kitchens iv tn poor. Such a man
be applyin' to Malachi Hinnissy,
Ar-rchey r-road, an prisintin riff
renee. firm his last party, can get
good employment as a candydate fr
Prisidint, with certainty aftherward
iv conganial place as public-reader
an party bouncer.' Ye might get an
answer"
"Oh, well, we'll find some wan, said
Mr.. Hennessy cheerfully.
81 guess, said Mr.. Dooley, "that
ye're right about that. Yell have
candydate an he'll have votes. Man
an boy, I've seen tn Dimmycratic
party hangin to tn ropes score iv
times. I've seen it dead an burrld
an tn Republicans kindly buildin'
monymint FIR it an preParin' to spind
their declinin days in tn custom
house. I've gone to sleep nights won
dhrin' where I'd throw away me- vote
afther this an whin l woke up there
was that crazy-headed Of loon iv
party, with its hair sthreamin' in its
eyes an an ak in its hand chasin tn
Republicans into tn tall grass. 'Tis
niver so good as whin It's broke, whin
rsyspictsble people speak iv tin whls-
pers, an whin it has no leaders an
on'y wan principle-to 60 in an take
it away firm tn other fellows. Some
thing will turn up, ye bet, Hinnissy.
TIL Republican party may dieiv over
feedin' or all tn leaders pump out so
much lie they won't feel like leadin'.
An, anyhow, they'se always wan ray
iv light ahead. We're sure to have
hard times. An whin tn la-ads that
ar-re baskin' in tn sunshine iv pros
perity with Andrew Carnaygie an
Pierpont Morgan an me friend Jawn
D. finds that tn sunshine has been
turned off an their fellow baskers has
relieved thin iv what they had in th'
dark we'll take thin boys be tn hand
an say Come over with ye'er own
kind. Th' Republican party broke
ye, but now that ye're down we'll not
turn a cold shoulder to ye. Come in
an we'll keep ye-broke.
Eyes, sir, yell have a candydate.
If worst comes to worst III offer me-
silt again.
1T wud be that, said Mr.. Hennes-
sy.
But ye ain't-what dye call it?"
II may not be as illegible as some,
said Mr.. Dooley, "but Id get as man
nv votes as others"
Not Needed