davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
HOUSEKEEPING IN PARIS.
Every Convenience Is Provided, but
 Still It Has Its Disadvantages.

Every Convenience Is Provided, but
 Still It Has Its Disadvantages.
 Housekeeping difficulties vary in diff ferent lands. but are never entirely lacking. A writer in Harper's Bazaar introduces American readers to one of the drawbacks of the system of house keeping practiced in Paris.
 Housekeeping ought to be all a de- light, one would think. in house where there is no washing nor irUn.ng to be arranged for, where bread. cakes and pies have not to be baked, and there is no breakfast to prepare More over, when company comes uneXpect- edly the fortunate housekeeper has only to run round the corner and buy a delicious morsel in the shape of fowl ready roasted.
 The little details of everyday life also are very manageable in this Paris ian home. There is no difficulty in pre- vailing upon the concierge to attend to the stove, wait at table, run errands, polish floors, and do the thousand and OhC OIu JODo IlldlL dIC lIc Dtille Ol d hOusekeeper's existence.
 But let no one believe that the mis- tress of a Parisian household is with cut her trials. Chief among them is the principle of caste, and next comes "the sou in the franc" The French cook does the marketing, and for every franc she spends she gets sou; and, human nature being what it is, it is un- necessary to add that the cook likes best to do her shopping where she will spend the greatest number of francs.
 When it is understood, further, that custom does not favor the doing of her own marketing by the Parisian house wife, it will be fairly evident that housekeeping is not without it's difficult | ties.
 "l have known but one woman in | Paris who did her own marketing" says the writer, "and she was a penu- | rious and wealthy person who was ac- customed to put on a long ulster and carry home her purchases beneath it. |
 "One day, as she passed a cOurtly | a leg of mutton dropped from the friendly shelter of the ulster | and rolled over on the sidewalk. The i gentleman picked it up and handed it 1 to her. Madam, here is your fan,' was all he said"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
FUSS WAS A GOOD WATCH DOG.
Even Her Master Was Unable to Break
 Past Her Guo-d

|
 Past Her Guard.
 Talk about your watcbdogs. said an acquaintance of mine. Say. I've got a cat that will beat 'em all holler, and it's only kitten, too.
 Il went home after the city govern ment meeting was over the other night and found the house dark and locked up. My wife was down to the club. so l out with my latchkey and fumbIed around the keyhole.
 "The key went in all right, and was laughing to myself when all at once the cOnfOunded key broke off. See there" and he held up as evidence the broken key.
 Well, l went around and found one Ot the windows unfaStened, showed it up and started to climb in. when gee whiz! 1 heard such a growing! It was my kitten. I called to him kitty, kitty, kitty but it was no use. He didn't know me, and kept right on growing, once in a while letting out a vicious spit.
 "Well, I climbed up and got my head and shoulders inside, when that eat gave a spring and landed plumb on my head. His claws stuck into my hat, and both headgear and hat fell to the floor, while I fell on the snow outside You see, I wasn't prepared, and it came as surprise to me.
 ''When I recovered everything was quiet inside, and l thought I would make another attempt. As soon as I the window that growing and splitting began again.
 ''I shoOed at him and said scatI But he held his ground and growled back.
 ''Then I tried to scare him by imitat- ing a dog. I growled and parked to beat the band and he growled and and spit back until we made such noise a lOdger in the next house showed up his window and hollered Shut upp
 Shut up yourself,' said I.
 "'GO way from that house. said he.
 I live here,' said I.
 ""Then go inside and keep still,' said he, and he closed the window with al bang '"Then I tried to get in again, but the eat heard me and still confronted me- | Will you believe me? had to stay out | side there and wait half an hour longer n the cold until my wife came home.
 "'Why, what are you doing out here without any hat on? Whats the mat ,er? said she.
 T explained while we were going in, md what do you think? When that | at saw us coming in the proper way | le came up and rubbed himself against | IS, purring as nice as could be- OIe.) Mail.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
His La Wnrls

SpOkesman-Madam, we are a com mittee from the volunteer fire depart ment, of which your late lamented huS- band was the respected chief, and we called to express our sympathy.
 WidOw-Oh, it's so kind and good of you. l know Henry WIs thinking of you when he passed away, for just be- fore the end came he rose up in bed. with a far-Off look in his eyes. and shouted: Turn in a second alarm. We can't handle this fire without heI9r'- Baltimore American.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
 RIOUS HUMORISTS
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over-Sayings that Are Cheer full to old or YOung-Funny Selec- tions that You Will Enjoy.

'T am sinking for the third timer shrieked the woman in the water
 Are you positive of this" asked the youth who was waiting to rescue her, lily cOncealing his anxiety the while
 "Oh, quiter' the woman protested 'FOr 1 am at this moment distinctly recalling everything in my past life remember the real color of my hair as if it were but yesterday that I@'
 ''Say no mOre!" cried the youth plung- ing forthwith into the icy flood
 The spectators cheered wildly, for never in their lives had they seen the thing more gracefully dOne.-DetrOit Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
HARRY HARRIS.

compared with others who have held the title He hasn't got the punch, al- though as clever as boxer as ever drew on the stuffed mitts. Steve Flanegan, now dead, and Clarence Forbes were the American boxers who took Harris measure before he dreamed of crossing the big pond to conquer the old fistic world.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Some men simply refuse to grow old. They work and work. They wear ont but there is no rust in their joint. They are huStling at 60, and active at 70 and Death has to search for them in their places of business. That is a kind of existence that brings it's own reward and its own pleasures, for the man who finds happiness in his work is always cheerful. Happiness generally means long life. The more happiness the more years and the more capacity for enjoyment Every day when the hands of the clock reach 1920 a long train on the Big Four pulls out of the Grand Central depot in Cincinnati. On the platform is a smiling old man in uni form-that is, you would call him old and he would indignantly tell you that he is only boy, as yet. That little old man has been conductor of that troip for thirty-four years. He was running train ten years before that. He has been nearly fifty years a railroader and has figures to show that he has covered over three million miles and he wants to round out at least another million before he makes his last run. Do all things in moderation; don't spend money fooliShly. and keep your mind on your business" That is his theory of life. He is living proof that there is good in that theory. for he is hale and hearty, and, above all else. happy, at a time when most men are thinking of dying.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Covers Too Much Grorn,

Binks-Jinks is continually telling me what lucky fellow you are.
 Kinks-Yes; but don't like the way he expresses it. Every time he meets me he says: Kinks. you're a lucky man. You don't seem to have any thing on your mind at l''-Indianap- oliS Sun.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

A man has had his stomach cut out. fixed up and put back again. The doc tors called it gastroenterotomy and con- sidered it most interesting operation. The person who underwent the ordeal has not yet expressed his opinion of it, but he is still living.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

old employees who feel the need of it most. That is a great deal of money. A century ago few men possessed so much. It was a fabulous fortune then, and it is big fortune now. Measured ln muscle it means years of toll for an army of men. Measured in the Car negie treasure chest, it is a drop, for it is money that he did not need. And
 here is the peculiar part of the whole
 transaction: MT. Carnegie did not at tempt to play the philanthrOpist. He plainly told the men who contributed to
 his millions, who made him the rich
 man that he is, that he knows all about it, and that they are entitled to tne
 money. He told them that labor ana
 capital were twin brothers, and that neither took precedence. He also said that whoever came between them was the enemy of both. He knew that cir cumstances, better brains, keen eyes to recognize opportunity, and the cour- age to seize it, had taken him from the ranks of men who toll for others and made him a master dependent on the toilers. Eve only just begun giving" said the rich man, as he sailed away to his castle in Scotland. We can all wish his long life. Those of us who are selfish can base the wish on purely mercenary grOunds-a desire to see great fortune returned to the people while those of us who see a big heart liOnaire's breast can ask that he be spared many years to purchase more happiness with the money he has made.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

The hostility to machinery which prevails to so great an extent in even the most progressive European coun- tries was manifested in no uncertain manner in several of the textile factor ies of Spain this week The operatives struck because it was proposed to mod ernize portions of the plants, and in one center they wrecked the quarters of a manufacturers club, besides several private houses. The employers closed their plants. some 1S,OO0 workpeopIe being locked out.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
He Would Know

She-Papa has an absurd notion that you have money.
 He-l suppose we would better let him think SO
 She-Yes, but we've got to get mar ried some time.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
NEW BOSS O. BANTAIS.

Harry Harris, the little Chicagoan who outpOinted and outgeneraled Ped lar Palmer at the National Sporting Club, in London, the other night, has twice been defeated, and hardly comes up to the requirements of a champion
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
HEATHEN HAVE POPULAR CULT

Christian Science PraCticed by Inhab-
 itants of South Sea Islands.
 Those who believe in Christian Sci ence" are recommended to study the beliefs of the South Sea Islanders. Even in those archipelagoes of "far-off isles of Eden, lying in dark purple spheres of sea-" the fundamental prin-
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Orpan ChiefIv Co,cor.o,

You won't touch that eaker' his wife tearfully exclaimed. And I made it on purpose to please you. You have no heartr'
 Perhaps not, Maria" replied the dyspeptic husband, with a weary sigh. But l am painfully conscious of my liver. r.'-Chicago Tribune.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Surprised.

''1t was remarkable affair."" said the little man beamingly; "One of the most original banquets l ever attended"
 ''In what respect"
 Nobody once offered to sing For he is a jolly good fellOw!'-Washington Cfop
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

A man committed suicide in Texas alter sending his wife this telegram:
 Ihirty-iive to-day; a failure" This was to abandon the struggle very early; and a man who could be thus discour- aged when there were before him so many opportunities to retrieve mis- takes. was not the sort of man who ever could have made any independent achievement in life. For such. how ever, there is always the recourse of giving themselves over to the routine service of others more capable and more daring; and life lived in the faith ful performance of this kind of labor cannot be accounted a failure.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

William Waldorf AstOr has directed that his new book shall not be publish ed or sold in this country. Knowing how Willie Wally feels toward us, this consideration upon his part was hardly to have been expected.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

A doctor told a woman's club that 22,OOO,OO0 American women are afflict- ed with floating kidneys because of bad corsets. Whats a loose kidney or two compared with the pleasure of being neatly and expensively gowned!
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Andrew Carnegie is building a monu- ment. Just how high it will be no man can tell. for who can name the num- Der of Carnegie's days? There are many millionaireS in America. They give. They do more or less good ac- cording to their lights but most of them are quietly resting in their collins when the world is told that they de sired to benefit humanity. Carnegie is shoveling his money out and getting all the enjoyment possible from the opera tion. He wants to see every stone th2t goes into his monument He likes to give, and gratilies his passion Tie other day he celebrated his retirement from business by handing over $5,OO0,- GOO. under conditions, to those of his
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

A Brooklyn woman was not angry because her husband shot at her, and missed her, but she wanted him prop erly punished for shooting the nose off her lovely teapot" Every woman can understand her feelings.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Income and Outg~.

"Gramma, pa costs me a n n'awful4Ot.'' ? "HOw, sOnny?'
 ''Why, gramma, when I'm good all day he gives me a penny, an when I'm bad I have to give him penny"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
HIDDEN TREASURE.
Better than Captain Kidd's-It Was
 Foundo

Better than Captain kidd's-It Was
 FOunds
 One of New York City's most famous hosts in the early days of this century was John Hunter, of Hunters Island, which is now a part of Pelham Bay Park. In the fine old mansion still standing on it, which he built, in 1897, for country home, and in his town house at State street, he entertained in lavish and splendid manner, gath ering often as many as forty guests at time around his table. The silver that helped to make these banquets princely was as famous in its day as its owners good cheer, and there was q story connected with it, too.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Al New Commandment

Teacher-HOw many commandments are there?
 Small BOy-'Leyen.
 Teacher-Eleven! What is the elev- enth?
 Small BOy-Keep off the grass.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

The Governor of Guam denies that he hid in a cellar at the time of the big hurricane last fall, and adds that there are no cellars in Guam. The alibi seems to be established
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Art Liu,itotions

''What kind of pictures would you hang in a dining roOm?"
 ''Well, I'd draw the line on paintings of beef on the hoOf and on still life studies in canned truck"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
The Aftrnctinn.

Nell-Why did Miss BargainSaleS re ject MT. BjOnes when he was rich and then marry him after he had lost all his money?
 Belle-I suppose because he was so terribly reduced.-Philadelph Record
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Out of the Months os Rab..

"Oh, mammal" exclaimed little Edith on her return from the show. ~I saw an elephant, and he walks back. ward and eats with his tailr'
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
The Eirst Rnhr

A woman's first baby is a heavenly visitant to her, toy to her husband. a nuisance to the neighbOrs, and a living to the dOctOr.-New York Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

A Boston man, who is being sued for breach of promise, in one of his letters to the girl called her my darling. my darling, my life, my soul, my every thing. my Anna" And it is commonly supposed that Boston people are cold.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Mrs. Frank Leslie paid $G,000 for her new title and was not compelled to take a new husband with it. Here is a pointer for other ambitious Ameri- can women with the title craze.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Passing Enre

Street car conductors are never beau. tful. In fact, they are not even pass ing fare.-Philadelphia Record.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

It is estimated that OEe-third of the inhabitants of the earth are habitual users of tobacco, and in most cases bad tobacco at that.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

If some men were offered President Schwab's salary of S1,OO0,OOO a year, they would work a couple of months or so and then quite for life.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

The absinthe habit is growing in America. It is a drug that makes the man who drinks ft deadlier idiot than he was before.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
A nomestic Ornhan.

"Are you glad your pa is in politics. Jimmy"
 "Oh, I don't mind pa gOin' in-but ma-She's gone in, too"
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

A Georgia colonel had man arrested for looking mean" at him. The man was fined 5 for rubbering with intent to scare.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

In ninety-nine weddings in a hun dred. the guests are impressed with the fact that the bride is dressed for a man worth ten times the income of the groom.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Cause and Effect

Teacher-Little boys will be punished If they tell lies.
 Small BOy-NOt if they don't git ketched.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Andrew Carnegie's monument has already been erected, and it is visible from any point of view.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Statu Ouo.

Mrs. Pettit-Whenever I express a desire for anything my husband never objects.
 Mrs. Ig. NOrd-Same with me. I can express the desire as often as please It never disturbs him.-PhiladeIphia Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

The humOrist who called it the "Aus- trian riot-stag" was very fortunate in his choice of pronunciation.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Never begin goOd-natured talk with q man who has just started a fire that threatens to go out.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01
Something New.

Farmer-HOw much for a room? Clerk-TwO dollars up.
 Farmer-What kind O talk is thatI Up our way tn say two dollars down
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Stage Manager-Now, NIT. StOrmer, listen to me a moment
 Barnes Stormer Ghe villainl-Wen sir?
 Stage Manager-When the heroine says to you, Do your wOrstP' that doesn't mean to act that way.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

One can't help wondering what Rus sell Sage will do with his.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

They say Mars is a funny world. If it is funnier than this one, it must be a freak.
The St. Johns herald., 1901-06-01

Some men have such unfortunate dis positions that they work against their own business
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
A Clean Sweep.

Gov. Beckham is advised to make
a clean sweep at the Hopkiusville
asylum. If he is wise he will follow
The advice. If the charges agains;
DR.. Mccormick are sufficient to
warrant his removal, then those
against Lackey are more than suf-
fcient. The welfare of the unfor-
tunate patients at the asylum de.
mands that those in charge should
be above reproach.
One half the inmates of the asy-
lum are females and half of those are
young women. immortality knows
no stopping place. If it exists
among the sane inmates of the asy-
lum, it will not remain there long,
and the mind shrinks from a con-
temptation of what would soon be
the consequence. -Owensboro In
ouirer
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
DEMOCRATIC PRESS.
Plain Talk About The Scanda
In The AsyInm.
Gov. Beckham Was Advised To
Make Clean Sweep
rionths Ago.

Prison Commissioner Green, in an
Interview in Louisville paper,
was quoted as follows;
Having an interest, with all
other good citizens, in seeing the
Asylum conducted in decentand pro-
per manner. and believing from the
evidence given me that there were
good grounds for such complaints,
sought an interview with the Cover
nor and State Inspection Hines.
gave them all the information in
my possession and advised speedy
investigation and the prompt re-
moval of every incompetent or un
suitable. official
officials indicted in the criminal
court have not been removed, al.
though some OF THIN have confessed
judgment.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
Clean Deal [ ons ,nded.

1t is the general PIN on in this
section that the rem, yHA Of DR.. Nc
Cormick without gi, ing him the
privilege Aof presenting As side OF
the case, was,both unwise and un
just, but it seems that the Doctor
also wanted to prove that some OF
the other officials of the institution
were more guilty than he of bad
conduct. If this be true, the Gov
ernor would not offend the public
by removing all who were associa-
ted with DR.. Mccormick in the asy-
lum s management and putting in a
new set of officials altogether
Hartford Herald.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
RISING TEMPERATURE
Brings Weed in Order And Loose
Receipts Improve.

The rapid rise in temperature
the first of the week has had the eff.
feet of bringing tobacco in ex'
cellent order for handling and
much of the weed was brought in by
the farmers. The deliveries Mon
day and Tuesday we're very heavy
and considerable money was paid
out. The crop is a fine one and is
weighing out well. Loose buyers
are still offering good prices and
as much as SIS around has been paid
for few extra good crops. The
ruling prices, however, range from
SIS to 81.
There were no sales on the
breaks this week. Hogshead re-
celpts are light.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
Go To The Bottom.

The Christian county grand jury
reconvened yesterday for the pur-
pose OF giving asylum scandals a
thorough airing. The Hustler hopes
the grand jury will go to the very
bottom and bring every one, not
excepting the highest, to strict
accounting ifor every improper or
dishonest act. A public Office is a
public trust, but too many officials
with a graft seem to act upon the
idea that it is nothing more than a
private snap-Madisonville Hustler.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
LEWIS BROWN
Another HopkinsyiIIe Negro
Killed at Earlington.
Body Brought Here Yesterday Per
lhterment-Murderer
Escaped.

Lewis Brown, negro man who
went from this city to Darlington
two years ago was shot and killed
Christmas day, by another negro
whose name could not be carried
Brown was a driller in the St.
Bernard mines and was SO years
old, with a family.
He and other negroes were at
Lock Mary shooting at bottle and
a dog belonging to the other negro
yelped as if hurt. The man accus-
ed Brown of shooting his dog and
turning on him shot him dead in his
tracks. -n
The murderer escaped and is
still at large.
Browns body was brought here
tor interment yestesday. The U.
b. f. order, of which he was a
member. conducted the burial ser.
vices.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
A Cleaning Out Asked For.

Last week Governor Beckham
appointed DR.. w. w. Ray, of
Washington county, to the position
OF Superintendent of the Western
Kentucky Lunatic Asylum, at Hop
kinsville, to succeed DR.. Mccormick.
1t is to be hoped that it will not be
long before an entire "cleaning OUT
at this institution will be affected.
Frankfort Argus.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
GOES TO NEW ORLEANS.
Rev. ohas. Nourse will Change his
Base.

Rev. Chas. l.. Nurse, has resign.
ed the pastorate of the Southern
Presbyterian church at Princeton
and will take charge of the Memo.
rial Presbyterian church in New
Orleans, Jam, l. Rev. Nourse and
wife are now guests of the family
of DIR. w. L. Nourse in this city,
and yillIeave next Monday night
for New Orleans.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1901-12-27
FELL ON PAVEMENT.
Merchant Happens to Accident
Knee-Cap DisIocated.

Mr.. W. w. Norris the Ninth
street grocer, happened to a very
painful accident last Thursday
evening. He was walking on the
icy pavement when he slipped and
tell, striking with great force. His
knee-cap was dislocated and his
leg was otherwise bruised pretty
badly. His injuries, while quite
painful, are not serious.