Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1901-06-21
SURE CURE FOR HICCOucHS.
It is Simple and inexpensive. Although as a
Recipe Cost $4,000.
Chicago Tribun

Recipe Cost $4,000.
Chicago Tribune.
Ferguson gave hiccough that made
the chandeliers of the clubroom rattle
and threatened to jar loose some of
the paintings.
Stop it; stop it," said the Colonel,
solemnly wagging his head, many a
better man than you has hiccoughed
himself to death. Stop it, say"
"Hic," said Ferguson, chic; look
here, Colonel, hic, it's easy enough for
you to tell me to stop, hic. but can't
stop. I'd be, hic, glad if l could, hic" ;"
ats easy" said the Colonel. "Pve
got receipt that a Philadelphia man
paid $4,000 for. Fact. I'll give you
this receipt for small price"
Name your, hic, price, Colonel,
hic," said Ferguson. "1f l had $780,
600, hic, I'd give you that much, hic,
but haven't, hic, but for PHYS sake
name your, hic, price and tell me the,
hic, receipt"
"My price," said the Colonel slowly,
twill he the price of a nice dinner
given by you to me at the Nestor res
taurant. Now, III give you the sure
cure for hiccoughs. Take one plate of
ice cream, the smooth soft kind, and
eat slowly. Before you get half
through your hiccoughs will be gone
Persist in this treatment whenever af-
fected, and you will soon be perma
nently cured. If after a cure has been
effected and you should feel return
of your malady just look at an ice
cream sign and start in the direction
of a restaurant and your hiecoHghs
will flee and never more come back"
Colonel" said Ferguson, 81 think
you are, hic. having fun with me.
But have, hic, tried everything else,
hic, under the sun, bic, and ] see no
reason, hic, why shouldn't try your,
hic, receipt. Lead on to the Nestor,
hic, and let the other fellows come
too, hic, and if your receipt, hic, cures
me I'll pay the bill most, hic, gladly,
and if ice cream don't stop my dis
tress, hic, ing hic, hic, coughs. you
will pay the bill, hic."
at is done," said the Colonel, and
the procession Immediately formed
and made for the Nestor restaurant.
The Colonel Immediately ordered the
ice cream for Ferguson, and ordered
that he should eat it while the rest Of
the party were picking out their can
vasback ducks and terrapin.
Ferguson dutifully ate his ice cream
under the COloners personal direction,
and, sure enough, before he had half
finished his hiccoughs were quite gone
al told you So" said the Colonel.
"Never knew it to fail. Yes, sir, that
is the receipt that the Philadelphia
man paid $4,000 for. He suffered
terribly from hiccoughs. Used to hic.
cough himself red and black in the
face. His doctor said the best thing
he could do was to seek a change Of
climate. He went out to Oregon and
hoped that there his afiiiction would
disappear, but it got worse. One
night he almost died, and little doc
tor who was called in said he would
cure him. Name your price said
the Philadelphia man. Twenty thous-
aud dollars, said the doctor. Cheap
enough said my friend from Pbila-
delphis. Then the doctor sent out
and had plate OF ice cream brought
up. The man thought the doctor was
having fun with him-just the same
idea you had of me. Finally he ate
the cream aud his hiccoughs ended.
He kept up the treatment. and to-day
he is cured. He paid the $4,000
without murmur.
Hiccoughs are not pleasant to
have. In many cases they cause
death. 1 remember the night after
Shiloh, when 1 began hiccoughing and
kept it up all night. I got so weak.
and the hiccoughs kept getting so
much more violent that l was certain
that l would die. l got o chum OF
mine to scurry around and find an
army sutler, and he got me some ice
and milk, and it helped me, although
of course, it didn't entirely stop the
hiccoughs. 1t takes ice cream to do
that"
Ferguson now says that the Col
onel's receipt is sure cure, and he ad.
vises all sufferers to try it.
The Decline Of Ireland.
In the Parliamentary statement
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