Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-28

shan pat lin n book md I'll HIN
for one dollar"
800! So you vhas literary, th? /
don't know dot pefore. like you to
read me some OF your adventures. l
vhas literary myself ind MAYBE l can
help you oudt."
"Yhell," ! says. Il shall read you
about my adventure NIT four lions in
Africa. 1t vhas only little adventure
NIT der lions all choke to death, but
like enough you vhas interested"
do you mean to say you vhas effer
in Africa?" he says.
'tOf course
'Und dot you choked four lions to
death?"
'For sure"
"Py golly. but you vhas liar by
some clocks! No mans on earth can
choke four lions to death. Cobbler,
don't take me for some fools!"
Don't you like to hear of my ad-
wentures?" l says.
mo, sir! You don't hat some ad-
ventures. You vhas deceiver. al
ways pellet you vhas a liar und now
dot found you oudt I shall neffer be
customer again.
Und he goes AWAY, shaking his head
und swearing, und my wife says bet
ter scratch oudt three of dem lions ash
queek ash can. l don't hat time be-
fore an old bum comes in und says:
"Vhell cobbler, how vhas everyt'ings
about now"
'FShe vhas all right / says, "but l
vhas VERY busy shust now, und like
to be alone. vhas writing oop my life
und adventures for a pook.'
rs dot SO? How lucky dot I came
In! Iwrite more ash ten pooks myself,
und can help you oudt. Read me dot
first chapter. How does she go?"
'tShe goes dot one day when vhas
fishing in der River Rhine l safe der
emperor of Shermany from drowning"
Thu! WAS you dot manS!
IL vhas.'
Spy golly, py golly! Why, look for
dot mans for dwenty years und don't
find him. You vhas a brafe, noble
mans, cobbler, und if you Will pass me
a nickel shall go oudt und hat some
beer on you"
Il can't do it, | says.
What? You can't gift me a nickel
when push der emperor into der water
so you may safe him und pc called
brafe mans. If you don't do it, you
vhas some sneaks!"
don't gift him no money, und he
stands oop und calls me names till my
wife almost fats AWAY. She says
shall gift oop dot pook pefore my head
vhas knocked off, but | don't like to be
scared out py an old bum. When he
goes AWAY, keeps on writing, und in
half an hour woman comes in nit a
shoe for half sole.
How vhas dis?" she says ash she
looks around.
Il vhas writing a pook," says.
You writing a pook! Vhas it a
pook about wax und some pegs?"
mo, ma am; it vhas DER Life und
Adventures of Hans der Cobbler,' und
Z make him in dwenty-eight chapters
und each chapter makes your hair
stand oop. I Will now read you dot
chapter where l kill two pirates und
rescue beautiful girl"
''Und you vhas literary" she says.
u vhas.'
"Und you Will write a pook?"
81 Will"
''Den l shall take my custom to some
other shop. If you keep on, dot fool
killer Will be along in a few days und
knock your head off 1t vhas curious
dot we don't hat some laws in dis coun-
| try to tie literary cobbler hand und
foot und throw him into der river
My wife come in und cries und says
| we don't hat meat or potatoes for din
ner if vhas literary, but like to write
one more chapter. In ten minutes he
vhas done, und man comes in und
says:
How vhas dis dot you don't cobble
some more?"
Il vhas writing pook."
'Ha! So you vhas some literary
| mans, Ell? Vhas dot pook redhot?"
'fShe vhas. She vhas about myself,
und in one day shoot an elephant, kill
bear, arrest murderer und meet a
rattlesnake. Don't you pellet dot vhas
| redhot?"
i 10 Il