The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-29
LOST HIS UMBRELLA
TT WAS MARK rWAIN'S, But HE
WENT SEE III
AGAIN
WAS THROWN OVERHEARD
veteran HumOrist Eyens Up Mat
ters by Inserting Want
Adj in the Daily
Papers.

Accounting u the COdSl SURVEY SlldIlS VI
a certain place off the coast of Nova
Scotia there are forty fathoms of water
there, says the New York Sun, and moth
ing at the bottom but coarse white sand
with broWniSh SpeckS That isn't SO.
Mark Twains umbrella with all the con-
tents is at the bottom there. But Mark
Twain didn't know it any more than the
coast survey folks. That's why he has
paid 81, the price of two hours cab ride.
to advertise for the umbrella in this city.
He feels sure that either Mr. III. Ii.
Rogers or the Hon. Tom Reed stole it
and hopes by offering reward to get it
back. No questions will be asked.
Mark first missed his umbrella last July
when he was a guest of Mr.. Rogers
aboard the good yacht Kanawha on d
cruise down East. What really happened
to the umbrella may be shown best by
the following entry in the log of the
Kanawha which will be produced as
documentary evidence for the defense If
Mr. Clemens goes too far:
"Kanawha-July q, A degrees TO
minutes Is seconds north, 81 degrees 45
minutes 20 seconds west. Winds norther-
ly, light to very fresh. All well on
board except the literary one and he s
doing the best he cam. He doesn't know
yet what has become of the umbrella
which, with it's contents, dropped
pany in a deg. north 62 deg. L min.
west, dead reckoning. At the time he
was leaning over the lee rail- reckoning
that he'd better be dead and Wondering
what's the use of a. heavy ground swell.
when the umbrella was seized from
Mr.. Clemens stateroom it contained the
articles which he usually carries in it
when afoot and ashore, to wit: One in
dividual tooth brush, cake of scented
soap, one pair of button CATERS, one bot
tie of restorer, box of dominoes, schedule
of legal cab hire rates, MSS. gaIluses
and much miscellaneous loot. The spare
socks were not in the umbrella at the
time.
AS matter of form, the umbrella was
shotted before it was dropped over the
side. Mr.. Reed spoke briefly, but his
exact words would not be a proper part
of this log. He intimated, however, that
the action of himself and associates was
Justified, as it was intended to save Mr.
Clemens from his only vice-the 37-cent
hre-sade carry-aH umbrella habit. Re-
marks of the same character Were also
made by Mr.. H. H. Rogers, Mr.. H. H.
Rogers Jr, Mr.. Augustus G. Paine and
Dr. Clarence c. Rice. All the members
of the crew were blindfolded and sent be-
low during the ceremony
Mr.. Clemens didn't get away from the
lee rail and the ground swell until long
after his umbrella had gone overheard
and then nobody dared tell him what had
happened. But by and by he discovered
that something had.
There was slight change that after
| noon at four bells,'' said Mr. Rogers, last
night land then Clemens began to look
for his umbrella. 1t was pitifuI scene
AT Al Ilrst ne thought he had simply mislaid
II, and he searched the ship from stem
| TO stern DIR. Rice and Speaker Reed
! had to use force to prevent him from
| gong aloft to peek into the crows nest.
| Finally he bribed one of the sailors to-
| look there for him, and on top of that he
| posted an offer of reward in the fore
| castle.
After while he suddenly began to
| snow melancholy interest in the charts
and compass and worked all of one dav
IN hgurlng and drawing lines. That night.
! alIer all the rest of us had turned in, he
| sat Tor hours, with his arms cIasned on
the tafrall, gazing aStern
Young man. he whispered to one of
the Watch ON deck, am [ looking in the
exact direction of Manhattan island?'
Aye, sir replied the sailor, after
| squlhtlng at the north star and backward
over Marks head
=" Should you say that I was looking
10 Just about Fourteenth street?
Aye, sir, replied the sailor: you've
| got the bearing dead right
Ihen Mark said more to himself than
TO the sailor, something about depart.
ment store The sailor told the bos'u
all about it and the bos'n told me
That's the way it was every night
IN the daytime from eight bells to one
pen and all the way back again, Marx
foared ABOUT the ship looking, looking
TOT that umbrella. He lost all appetite
F1nally, on the advice of Dr. Rice. we
/ decided to cut the cruise short. and we
came back to New York at top. speed
Mr.. Clemens was the first man ssbore
and we heard him telling a cabman ~
get to Sixth avenue before the store clos
He went down East again after that:
but he took a train. We heard of him
| next Week the ST of Moi,
Tom Reed, roasting missionaries and
| broiling Holsters
In has, Ignorance of what had really
| happened Off the coast of Nova Scotia Mr.
| Clemens, still thinking over his loss
| wrote this advertisement the other Gax:
LOST-On- Broadway, or stolen a com
| PafatIvely new umbrella showing some
| wear; cost 81 cents at Sterne's fore part
| of January. Finder will be suitably re-
| Warded by leaving the Property at DIR.
| RlCE'S In Irving place, where Owner
| will call for same.
! He suspects Mr.. Rogers or Mr. Rood
| and hoping to shame either of them into
surrendering he sent the copy of the adj
| Vertlsement to Mr.. Rogers Office, with
! a request that it be published The mail
! clerk opened it and unsuspecting his en-
| ployers guilt, sent it to the newspaper
IN which 1t was printed Ever since, UNI
! brellas have been delivered at DIR Rice's
Up to midnight last night lii had been
received. After today the umbrellas will
not be taken at the front entrance on
irving place, but at the basement door
! IN East Nineteenth street.
All of these umbrellas will be sent to
Mr.. Clemens as soon as he arrives in
town; said Mr. Rogers last night.
Where is Mr.. Clemens now?" asked
the reporter.
Let me think said Mr.. Rogers.
seems to me he's in Elmira. Is there a
1e.ff33r 1 in Elmira?
We'll, that's the place. He's in Ell
|