The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-01-06
.MODERN FABLES" BY George AIDE.
6be d Fable of Husband VIC
Made .SsUifch and Played II Goo Sfrone
Tcopyright, 1900, by Robert Howard RusselLl :

Once there was a Wife who Entertained a
great deal. She was all the time n&ins up
Layer Cakes, Combination Salad. siberian
/ Punch and Sailed Almonds for the women
who belonged to the same Church, even
though the Bills for Fancy Groceries piled
I'M until her Husband was seldom more
than two Jumps ahead of a Collector.
She was never more Happy than when
she had the House full of grown up fairles'
| all talking at the same time. She loved to
see her Name in the Column entitieo'
.swhat is Being Pulled Of in Society. IL
! tickled her to have Folks say that her An
| gel Food was Grand, and for two or three
| DAYS after an unusually Swell Session., al
| which she had been tafied with the old
| Line about being a Charming Hostess, she
would sweep around the House in a Flow
| cred Wrapper. stepping high and feeling
that she could give Cards and Spades to
Mrs. Potter Palmer or any other High
Flyer.
She always had a Gallon or more OF visit
ing Cards in a German Silver Tureen in the
| front Hallway so that any one who dropped
in would be sure to notice that she was
on Close Terms with the Best of Them.
| She used to Bulletin all the Doings at her
| House in Red Letters a foot high, and
then when the Society Reporters came
to get Names and Costumes and toss a
| few Flights of Fancy at the Elegant Re
| past, she would let on to be Annoyed. and
| say 1t was Funny that One could not have
a little Gathering without the Papers want
ing to know all about it. Still. she never
| allowed her Annoyance to get the Upper
| Hand of her Judgment. She always had
| the Type-Written List ready. She pre-
| ferred that Nothing Whatever be said
| about her Reception, but If the Forward
| Press insisted on printing something. they
| might say that it was a Rip-Sizzer. and
doubtless the most Brilliant of the Season,
and the Beautiful Hostess wore a striking
| Creation in Pale Mauve Satinet and no
jewelry, except as many Diamonds as she
had been able to get together by cutting
down the Gas
The Husband of this Woman had no
liking for Violet Teas or afternoon Whist
| Orgies. When his Wife was tearing open
| the Street with one of her Social Events,
| he preferred to stay Down Town and get a
/ little Snack, rather than go Home and
Face the Music. He felt more at ease with
a Swiss Cheese Sandwich I'm a Quiet Cor
ner in a German Place than he did while
partaking of Brick Ice Cream and listen
ing to Stories about the Pastor.
He got many Raps because of his ev.-
dent Desire to Duck on the Festivities.
Very often his Wife would give him a
T~urning-Over for his Failure to Show Up.
She would ask him why he could not be
lilo Mr. So-ond-S0 who ALWAYS helnad
his Wife pass the Tea, and who went from
one Woman to another with neat little
Compliments about her Gown and the way
her Hair was Dom Up. TIL Husband
replied that If he had to be the same as
Mr.. So-and-So in order to make himself q
Parlor Favorite, he hoped that he would
continue to be merely one OF the Also Rams.
In his Opinion, the Husband that she had
set up as a Shining Example was a feather.
Drained Gussie, who ought to be Drummed
Out of the Community. He said he had
no Use for a Married Man big enough
to pull a Dray who carried a Pocket Hand
kerchief inside of his Cuff, and loved to
sit around and Chat about Point Lace and
Painting on china IL she wanted that
kind of an Article around the House she
had better pull the Rope and ask for u
Transfer.
She came back by saying that she would
just as soon see a Gentleman making him.
self agreeable to a Convey of Refined Ladies
as see him off in a Club with a lot of Pas
senger Agents and Horse Breeders, pulling
for Table stakes and furnishing Manhas-
tans. Furthermore, she thought things had
come to a Pretty Pass when a Husband
would sneak in the Back Way and crawl
up stairs to avoid meeting his Wife's
Guests in the Front of the House. She
j nagged him until he decided that he would
go in for her kind of Fun just to Keep
Peace in the Family.
One day when the Street in front OF his
House was damned with Coupes and
Broughams and there was a Strip of Red
Carpet trailed down the Front Stoop. just
to give the Place a Tone, he came Home
early and got into his Frock. He enjoyed
an Afternoon Makeup almost as well as
he would have enjoyed a Suit of Armor.
The only men in America who feel at homs
in a Coat that has a long Skirt to it are
a four uhn hoxa haan mr. and ydQwn Fifth