davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

-Briggs-"It may seem strange to VOL
but my wife thinks I'm about as good as
there is going" Griggs-"Sort of an &C.
CURED taste. I suppose. like tomatoes OF
olives for instance. Boston TRANSCRIPT
Drawing a Distinction-"How much
does member of the Legislature get in
this staten inquired the tourist. "HIis
salary" answered Farmer Corntossel, sis
80 a day. Nobody knows how much he
gets. "-Washington Star
-Teacher-''Now. Tommy, suppose you
had two apples, and you gave another
boy his choice of them. you would tell him
to take the bigger one, wouldn't your?
Tommy-"No. mum" Teacher-"Why?'i
Tommy" Cos 'twouldn't be necessary
-Tit-Bits.
-Pacifying Her-The wife-Tf this
scandal in the family is going to make
any difference in our social position. II
will be more than l can bear" Chicago
Millionaire-"Don't let that worry you a
bit. If it does, we'll move 90 New York. -
-Harper's Bazaar.
He Changed the Subject-Mr Newly
wed-"1f-if I should be killed by this au-
tomobile, Marie, want no weeping at my
funeral. l want everybody to be cheer
full" Mrs. ewlywed-"Nonsense, John.
shall have to weep a little Just for the
looks of the thing. Judge.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

The old judge was one of the kindliest
OF men, said an attorney of this city.
speaking Of a distinguished member of
the local bar, who is now dead, according
to the New Orleans Times-Democrat. but
his temper was warm as his heart,
aud when momentarily exasperated he
had a tongue like a razor. When 1 was
studying law in his office we had a copy
ing clerk who was known about the place
as the late Peter Jones'-a sobriquet he
acquired by being always behind time.
He was a slow, distracted, dreamy kind
of fellow, with his mind generally hum
dred miles from his business, and he was
continually working the judge up TO the
point of explosion. One day a wire bask-
ct fell off the top of his desk and grazed
his cheek, making slight scratch sew
eral inches long. Being very busy at the
moment. and wishing to protect the abra-
sion from the air until he could get some
court Plaster, he slapped on three pos
tage stamps and went on with his work.
A little later on he had some papers to
take to the United States Court, and, for
getting all about his peculiar decoration,
he put on his hat and sailed out. He
must have created a sation on the
street, but, as usual, his mind was else
where, and when he returned in half an
hour or so. he was still in blissful ignor-
ance of his Mardi Gras aspect. The three
stamps happened to all be of different col
ors, and he looked like an Apache chief
made up for a ghost-dance. AS he enter
ed the office, the judge raised his head
and fixed him with an astonished stare.
Poor Jones quailed under his eye. Any
thing-er-wrong, sir?' he inquired, trern>
ulously, when the silent scrutiny became
uncomfortable. Yes, sir! Numbered the
old gentleman; you are carrying too much
postage for second-class matter"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
GETTING READY FOR THE YACHT
RACE.

From now until the international yacht
race for the Americas cup is sailed there
will be an immense amount written
about the cup challenger and defender,
and what they accomplish in the various
trial races. The English boat, Shamrock
H. has already had a trial with Shamrock
I, and, it seems from English accounts,
gave a very satisfactory account of her
self. IL is agreed by English yachting ex-
perts that she is much superior to the
challenger of 1899, and Sir Thomas
has boat that will bring the cup back
to England On her first trial Shamrock
II easily ran away from Shamrock I I'M
der certain conditions but under other
conditions she was not able to do more
than to hold her own. OF course a fair
judgment of the yacht cannot be formed
from her first trial. There will be a num-
Der of trials before the final opinion as to
the merits of the boat will be given by
those on whose judgment reliance is
placed.
The Constitution. the cup defender, is
not yet ready for her trial trip. 1t will
take all of this week to get her in shape.
She was launched on Monday, and the
work of putting in her mast was begun at
once. Early next week, IL conditions are
favorable, she will be given a chance 40
show whether or not she is a better boat
than the Columbia, the winner of the
last race. As a matter of fact she is
but another edition of the Columbia with
improvements. or at least what are be-
Heved to be improvements. Shamrock II
is also very much the same as Shamrock
l. The designer of neither vessel felt
safe apparently in departing very far
from the model of the previous race
There is another boat that must be
taken into consideration-the Independ-
ence. She is a Boston boat, the property
of Mr.. Lawson of that city. She is not
yet ready for launching. but will be in a
very few days. She is bigger boat than
the Constitution and much flatter 1t is
said that from one point of view she
looks like a birch bark canoe Her de-
signer expects great things of her. She
will have to demonstrate. of course, that
she is a better boat than the Constitution
in order TO be chosen the defender of the
cup. The way for her to do that has not
been opened yet, if we are rightly in
formed but there is no doubt 1t will be.
selected to meet the challenger, and no
doubt the New York Yacht Club will see
to 1t that their wish is gratifed.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

It is to be hoped that the authorities of
Jacksonville will not fall into the error,
50 frequently fallen into by other COM
munities that have suffered catastrophe,
of dispensing charity Unfortunately and
without demand for return. There is an
element in the population of Jacksonville
which by the way is common TO most
cities-that will not work so long as free
food and clothing can be drawn from the
relief bureaus. After the disastrous hur-
ricane struck the sea islands some years
ago, making relief necessary, the labor of
the Islands was demoralized for more
than a year by the free rations and
clothes that were dispensed by Miss Bar
ton and her helpers. The farms and fields
were utterly neglected and no crops were
raised, because it wasn't necessary for
the laboring element to work to live; the
living came free. And the same sort of
thing has happened elsewhere. There is
a plenty of work to be done in Jackson
Vile; therefore it is to be expected that
the relief corps will see to it that those
able TO render service for what they re-
ceive shall do So
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
wit and wisdom, of Chri1dren.

One very cold day, says Current Lit
erature, Tom. in his first trousers, was
walking out with his tiny overcoat turned
back to its utmost limit. Tom" said
his father, button your coat" The boy
demurred. Look at NINE" added his
father. Yes" said Tom, ruefully, but
everybody knows that you wear trous-
ers'
Mamma-Why, Susie, you're offered
your butterscotch to everybody but lit
tie brother Why didn't you hand it to
him? Susie with innocent candor)-Be-
cause, mamma, little brother always takes
it.
A Sunday-school superintendent, who
happened to be a dry goods merchant,
and who was teaching a class of very lit
tie tots. asked when he had finished ex-
planning the lesson: Now, has any one
question to ask?' A very small girl
raised her hand. What is it, Martha?'
asked the superintendent. why, Mr..
Brooks, how much are those little red
parasols in your Window" said Martha.
Mary was a very conscientious child.
One day she was allowed to go and spend
the day with some little cousins about
her own age. After taking off her wraps
she went to her aunt and said very sober
ly, Now, Aunt Cassie, if Sallie and Liz
z1e are bad to-day please don't hesitate
to punish them because 1 am here"
Five-year-old Hugh c. had overheard
some bad language in the streets and had
been disciplined for repeating it. One
day at dinner after accidentally dropping
his bread and butter ON the floor he ex-
claimed "God!' A moment of shocked
silence followed and his mother remon-
strated: Hugh, you know 1 told you yes
terday-" With folded hands and closed
eyes Hugh continued. Dress mamma
and papa and Aunt Mamie. Amen''
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
Scarcely a Profitable Article.

II see," said the head of the firm, &C
cording to the Chicago Record-H Herald,
that you have an article in one of the mag
azines this month";
Yes the young man prodly replied ct
think have demonstrated in a thoroughly
reasonable way the practicability of living
on 81 a week"
Il congratulate you" his employer an
swered. It's a good article. I read it
with great interest. And, by the way,
I've been troubled good deal lately. I've
felt that 1t must be mighty hard for you
to get along on what L was paying you,
and I've been wondering how l could work
things around to give you more without
increasing the running expenses of the
concern"
"Yes?' the young expert returned. with
a hopeful infection.
But it's all right, 1 see,' the old man
answered. You can live on 81 a week,
and that leaves you S. to have fun with or
save. as you please. So there's a load off
my mind. Say. If you write any more
articles along this line tell me about them,
will you? I'd like to read EN-. It's great
stuff"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

The late John j. Bagley, during his
second successful campaign on the Repub-
liean ticket for Governor of Michigan,
spoke one evening at Kalamazoo and at
the beginning of his remarks he alluded
frankly to his lack of oratorical gifts,
says the Argonaut. After he had finish
ed, a man pushed forward. grasped his
hand warmly, and said: Governor, l
have been a lifelong Democrat, but at
the coming election l shall vote for you"
Thank YOU" replied the Governor, much
gratihed: may 1 ask the particular rea-
son for your changer" Because you are
the first speaker on either side in this
campaign that have heard tell the truth.
You said when you began that you
couldn't make much of a speech, and, by
jinks, you cantr'
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Savannah Cottage and I'm
provement Company; Zerubbabel Lodge,
No Is. r. A. M.
Special Notices-Savsnnah Building Sup
ply Company; Andrew Hanley Company;
Fire Forces Us TO Move, Collins, Grayson
e. Co.. Notice to City Court Jurors; The
Suwanee Springs Hotel Reopened; Ship
Notice. Chr. G.. Dahl & Co., Consignees.
Business Notices-"High Test Baking
Powders. A. NJ. & c. w. West; Henry
the Fourth, Seconds Cigars; Harvard
Beer; Silver Novelties. r. Van Keuren
& Co.
Get It-At Rowlinskis.
Auction Sales-Sixty-nine Lots by c.
II. Dodsett, Auctioneer.
Steamship Schedule-Ocean Steamship
Company.
Legal Notices-Notice TO Debtors and
Creditors. Estate Minerva Williams, De-
ceased; Citations from Court of Ordinary
of Chatham County; Application to Sell
Real Estate. Dublin Simmons, Deceased;
In the Matter of Joseph Cohen, Bank
rupt; In the Matter of H. 8. Fountain,
of Chatham. Bankrupt; In the Matter of
W. f. Ogflvie of Tattnall; In the Matter
of Virgil H. Burns of Screven, Bankrupt.
Legal Ssles-Chatham's Sheriffs' Sale.
Some Bright Things-Leopold Adler.
Postum Food Coffee and Grape Nuts
Food-Postum Chemical Company.
Watches-W altman Watches.
Whdskeys-Old Quaker Rye whiskey
Murray Hill Club Whiskey.
Hotel-Hotel Victoria. New York.
Electric Paste-Stearn's Electric Paste.
Medical-Lydia Pinkhsm's Vegetable
Pills; S. S. s.; Ponds Extract; TUFTS
Pills; McBlree's Wine of Cardui; World 3
Dispensary Preparations; DR.. Kilmer'
Swamp Root; Van Vleet Company's Prep
arations; Castoria; Peruna.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted: Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

We are the greatest nation of coffee
drinkers in the world. Every week we
spend s., 900 900 for the beverage. Statistics
compiled by the Treasury Department
show that the average Englishman drinks
only about three-quarters of a pound OF
coffee per year, the italian drinks about
one pound, the Hungarian a little more
than two pounds, the Frenchman, a bit
over four pounds and a half, the German
a fraction over six pounds, while the
American drinks ten pounds and three
quarters. Our total consumption last year
amounted in round numbers to So2, ,OOC
pounds
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
THE MORNING NEWS is published


every day in the year, and served TO
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail.
at 20 cents q month, $500 for six months,
and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
times a week (without Sunday issue),
three months, $50; six months, $500; one
year. $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week. MONDAY and Thursday by mail,
one year, 500.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re-
nit by money order. check or registered
letter. Currency sent by NAH at risk of
sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column.
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-equaI to one inch in depths the
standard of measurement. Contract rates
and discounts made known on application
at business office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning News
to either residence or place of business
can be made by mail or by telephone No.
40. Any irregularity in delivery should
be Immediately reported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed tsAaoRNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, q Park Row,
New York city. H. C. Faulkner. Manager.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

Forty years ago John r. Carter. owner
of a coal mine at Tamaqua, Pa, came
upon a party Of miners who had built a
FIRE at the mouth of a coal hole for the
purpose OF warming themselves. Carter
jumped to the conclusion that the coal
was stolen. In his anger he kicked the
burning coal IN dozen directions. Some
of the fire went down the coal hole. A
week or so later the coal at the bottom of
the hole was found to be burning. Eff
forts were made to quench the fire. but
without avail. And the same fire is still
burning. During the next few weeks
however, II will have exhausted itself and
become a thing of the past. The penalty
of kick by Mrs. o'Learys COW was the
burning Of Chicago; the penalty Of Car
ter's kick was a forty years fire in his
coal mine.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

The New York Tribune has been at
pains 10 ascertain IL ii is true that church
attendance in us city is falling or and
that interest in church work is declining.
There are 1850 churches of all denomlna-
tions in the five boroughs OF New York.
or one to each 2,72S OF population. The
totad seating capacity of these churches
IS s51, ls5, so that IL everybody In the city
tried to get into the churches the great
bulk would be unable TO do so. The Trib-
une took a church census Of last Sundays
attendance. 1t was not complete. since II
did not cover the whole field, but as far
rs IT went II showed that i'm the boroughs
Of Manhattan and the Bronx 50s,s25 per-
sons. or about 25 per cent. OF the popu-
iation Of the two boroughs. attended re-
iigious services. That lie not such a bad
showing
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

It's all off There isn't any perfect man
I'm this country; at least none has yet
been discovered. For two weeks or more
the country has been worshipping at the
shrine of Prof. Algie r. Crook OF Chi
cago, who was quoted as having declared
to his class that he had never smoked
chewed tobacco, taken a drink of liquor.
"cussed" or kissed a woman. The coun-
try was so stricken breathless by the dis
covery OF such paragon, in Chicago
that 1t never even thought to question
the authenticity OF the report. one part
OF the population at once began 10 com
miserate the Professor and the other to
make goo-goo eyes at him. Now. however,
the illusion has been dispelled. In letter
to the Chicago Record Herald the Pro-
fessor says: THE stories which have been
recently printed about me are absolutely
false. since / never said to students or
others what has been attributed to me-"
Further. he declares he hopes the news
paper will succeed in running down the
person who perpetrated the fake. and
thus "vindicate" him. So he has kissed.
It seems, and possibly smoked and drank
and "cussed" too. We have been cruelty
deceived, by some Smart Alec of news
fakir.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
with the Lords Help.

In his story, 1.-THE Southern Mountain
eer," in Seribners, John Fox, Jr., tells
this tale:
A feud leader, who had about exter-
minated the opposing faction and had
made good fortune for a mountaineer
while doing it, for he kept his men busy
getting out timber when they weren't
fighting, said to me, in all seriousness:
Il have triumphed agin' my enemies
time and time agin'. The Lords on my
side and l gifts better and better Chris
tian ever year"
A preacher, riding down ravine. came
upon an old mountaineer hiding in the
bushes with his rifle.
What are you doing there, my friend?'
Ride on. stranger" was the easy an
swer. I'm a-waitin' fer Jim johnson,
and with the help of the Lawd I'm goin'
to blow his damn head off"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

The cheapest man I ever knew said
the postman, according to the indianapolis
Sun. His name was John Smith. and
he was cheaper than pins on bargain day
He used TO get letters from his brother.
in-law, and would open the envelope by
holding 1t over a tea kettle. Then he
would take out the letter and read II
write an answer. put the answer in the
same old envelope. and seal it up again
This done, he would take II to the post.
office. explain that the letter couldn't
possibly belong to him. and he didn't want
to open another mans mail. OF course
as his brother-in-law's fve-day return
card was on the envelope, the postoffice
officials would send It back"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

Lord Ranfurly, Governor of New Zea-
land, has just sent a very valuable COL
lection of birds TO the Natural History
special expedition to the Auckland, Boun-
ty and Campbell Islands for the express
purpose of obtaining rare specimens which
were not represented in the Museum col
lection. Every creek and river ON the
coast lines of the islands was searched
and among the scarce birds secured were
a pair of goosanders-a species which is
on the verge of extinction.
The Rev. DIR. Edmund Ware, head
master of Elton College, has just been
decorated with the Royal Victorian Or
der by King Edward VII Next to this
honor, he is said to be most pleased with
the success of his son, who helped to
row the latest Oxford boat to victory at
Mortlake, and with the fact that the
winning crew rowed in a boat specially
designed by the doctor. Dr. Warre is
himself an Oarsman of renown, having
been three years in the Oxford boat 1857
50. and president of the o. u B. c. In
addition to being headmaster of Elton Col
lege he is honorable chaplain to the King
and honorable colonel of the Second Bucks
elton College, Royal Volunteers.
Mayor Tom l.. johnson of Cleveland.
has redeemed a promise made to his
schoolgirl daughter by purchasing for her
$1,000 automobile. One night recently
she asked for an automobile. and Mr..
johnson finally declared he would pur-
chase the best steam carriage in the city.
the moment she should have learned to
operate one. The subject passed out of
MS mind until one day last week when
he espied young woman skillfully op-
Grating an automobile at high speed down
the street. She brought the automobile
up In front of him with a sharp turn.
Mayor johnson went directly to the sup
ply house. turned in the rented vehicle,
ana the young woman came away with
her own automobile.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

Admiral Dewey not only takes the cake,
but has taken the whole bakery. Some
time ago the Admirals brother made a
Joan to an Omaha man and took a mort
gage on his bakery as security. The
mortgage has been foreclosed. The broth
er is now dead, 50 the bakery goes to the
Admiral, under the terms of an order of
court The grand old sailor is, therefore,
in a position to have pie every day II he
wants to.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

New York newspapers from day to day
publish lists of names of men who have
made big winnings in Wall street during
the boom. Conspicuous for it's absence is
the name of Russell Sage 1t is alleged
that he got off of the prosperity train at
a station way back" and has not yet
been able to catch up. 1t is said, too,
that he had sold calls on lot of stocks
that have since gone a long way above
the contract price at whixl he agreed to
furnish them. In one instance the story
goes, he had out paper calling for $4,000
shares of Missouri Pacific at so and be-
low, which stock is now selling around
par. That is possibly why the old gentle
man takes such a pessimistic view of
the situation and looks forward to a
BLACK Friday" But so far his pessim-
ism has not enabled him to buy stocks
cheaper.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09
From the New York Press.

AoAA Aht ANtW Abih Il AtoSs
Finance is business with dress suit
on.
The cleverest woman in the world is
the one that knows how to keep her hus-
band Jealous without his knowing that
she knows he Is.
There probably never was a woman
who could pin her dress together in the
back Of the neck 40 man wouldn't
laugh at Il II he dared to.
II you tell a woman a man is crazy TO
marry her before the wedding she will
love you; IL you tell her the same thing
after the wedding she will hate you for
ever.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

There has recently been a considerable
increase In the death rate in Chicago.
The local board Of health attributes a
large part Of II to the excitement oc-
casioned by gains or losses in the fever
ish markets. In New York there has
been large increase In the number OF
suicides. Possibly speculation had a good
deal to do with that, also.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

A certain Count de Pierrecourt. who
died in France recently. left his fortune
improvement of the human race in a
novel manner. The city OF Rouen Is
made trustees OF the estate, and each
year II is to give a marriage gift of 10O.-
900 francs to a couple OF giants. Both the
man and the woman must be large,
strong and in perfect health. Candidates
for the gift must pass rigid medical
and mental examination. IL was the
counts idea that by selection, the race
might be regenerated
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

The New Orleans Picayune (Dem), dis
cussing reciprocity with Cuba. says: 1.-THE
main danger in Cuba comes from the fact
that many important sugar estates on the
island have been bought up by Americans
who now desire to secure the benefit of
free entry of their sugars into home ports
Such Americans have no greater right to
consideration for their commercial inter-
ests located in a foreign country than any
other class of Cuban property holders
The point 90 be considered is that the
concessions which are advocated would
damage the domestic sugar industry
which has been making such satisfactory
strides in recent years, and for this rea-
son. IL for no other. no special privileges
should be accorded to Cuban sugar
The Hartford Comm Times CDem) says:
"The experiment of running a university
TO suit a rich woman. who does not quite
pretend to be an expert in all departments
OF knowledge. continues at Stanford tIui-
versity. but not yet with entire success
Profs. Lapsley and Warren. who went
from Harvard 40 Stanford when the first
vacancies occurred. have had enough
OF Il and have resigned. IL is said that
several other professors will leave at che
end of the term"
The Philadelphia Record Dem.) says:
Historically. the Southern Democracy is
an anti-tariff party. and such 1t win re-
main. All the patronage Of the admins
tration would make no change In that re-
spect"
The Houston (Tex) Post Dem) SAYS:
Filipino generals are dropping into the
basket now like over-ripe apples Posi-
bly, they were afraid Of some more Fun
eton tricks"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

The Indications for Georgia and East
ern Florida to-day are for partly cloudy
weather, light to fresh westerly winds.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-09

Perry Heath declares that there Is not
a man in the Republican party who could
get the next presidential nomination cas-
Ter than Senator Hanna; and that may
be true But when he adds that there Is
not man IN the United States who
could be 50 easily elected. that admits Of
a very, very large element Of doubt