Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-10-02

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She Threatening breach Of promise
suiD-Do you intend to deny. sir. that
you proposed to me-? He-No; intend
to plead insanity.-Fun.
Aren't you the beggar that gave
pie to last week r. 81 guess am, mum,
but Pm .Xjllin' to let bygones be by
cones. 1t ain't In my heart to bear no
malice"
Borem- Scrlbbler, they tell me, IL
now quite a literary light. must call
on him. Wigwag-Even literary light
may be out when you call.-Philadel.
phia Record.
The Don-And whit part did you
take In this disgraceful proceeding OF
holding Mr.. Waters under the pump7
Undergrad (modestly}-His left leg.
sir.-Tit- Bits.
John, how dare you come home at
one o'clock In the morning?" .w.w-w.
h-y, Mary. you can't 'spect me TO stay
out oil night on dollar'n forty cents
Denver Times.
Twas Ever Thus: "Oh, yes, he adores
me. I've known 1t for fortnight"
Then what's bothering your" whats
botliering me? Why, I've got to wait
for him to md 1t out"-Brooklyn
Life.
Bllltop-You must be doing mighty
well, old man, to be able to charter
yacht. Capton-Not at NIL; I'm doing It
to save money. "How's that?" "I,ms
going to keep my wife at sea for o
whole MONTH"
| Daisy-What do you think? Clarice
went out and sang at IN entertainment
In private insane asylum. Edie-Did
she say whether they showed their In.
sanity much? Daisy-Oh, yes; they en-
cored her three times.
Snobblns-I should think you'd be
afraid Of having that big dog around
you all the time. III had him, l should
be afraid all the time he would 60 mad,
Snubbins-But he doesn't have to live
with you, you know.-Boston Tran
script.
I -
Patience-Isn't basketball a very
rough game? Very. "well.
why do girls learn to play II, then7'
f"Why, 1t fits a girl for society func.
tions. when she has to fight her way
to the refreshment table, Yonkers
Statesman.
Mistress-Nurse. you really ought to
use a thermometer in baby's bath to get
the right warmth! Nurse (airily)-O,
i that's all right II the waters too 'ot
lie turns red; II it's too cold be turns
blue. That's all you want to know.
mum!-English Humor.
ut is sad to see this mercenary spirit
SO flagrantly manifested in politics..
said the earnest citizen. Eyes," an.
swered Senator Sorghum. ~ have
fought against 1t all ! could. but it's
no use. can't get people to vote my
way without payin' EN-. washington
i Star.
Mistress Ito cook -But why do you
want to leave, Mary? Cook-I don't like
J the cookery, mum. Why. you
cook the things yourself! Cook Yes.
know, mum, but Pm only plain cook;
and thought when / came here that
you would make some tasty dishes NO
and again, mum.
Magistrate am told that you havt
. already been convicted fourteen times
on this same charge Aren't you ashanl,
cd tor have to acknowledge to that!
Prisoner-No, your worship. ! don't
think no man oughter he ashamed OF
lis convictions. Magistrate
months, without the option of fine
] k-Me-Up.
:. "Its little annoying to have to gel
u up in the middle of the night and looR
] for burglars" said Mr.. Meekton, .but
5 Henrietta seems to enjoy having me
J do so." what would you do II vol
2 really found burglar7' "Well. I'm s.
, kind-hearted that I'm afraid that
, would be too lenient. think I'D opa
, the door and tell him that II he did4
) get out quietly Henrietta would com
$ down and attend to his case"
He was thoroughly happy when ha
entered the front door with package
in his hand and exclaimed Eve got
something here for the woman I love
! better than all the world" "John." she
said sadly, II don't object to extrava.
gance ordinarily. but 1 do object to you
g buying expensive presents for the
cook" But then, you see. she judged
him by his appetite. not his heart
Denver Times.
!, A Georgia singer complains that thu
= printer murdered his verses In cur
: rent publication. He says that h'
wrote:
A little wife to wait,
. In the rosy twilight late, 80
With the blooms-thick at the gate. I
I But the stanza appeared In print al
b follows:
: "A little wife to wait, i
e In the rosy twilight late.
!. With the broomstick at the gate.
1 Atlanta Constitution.
!. Pat had secured lodgings In the tow
j, and gone to bed early. The wind wa,
n blowing terrific gale. and, as thu
], house did not stand very securely. til,
i, landlord was rather anxious about 1t;
e safety. He sent a servant to arous,
Pat. who was sleeping soundly. Whei
at last the sleeper awakened he sat vi
In bed and rubbed his eyes. What
I the matter?" he asked. Don't 70,
8 hear the windT' asked the servant
8 We're afraid the house will blow
down" Turning over and drawing tn,
I clothes more tightly around him. Pa
replied: go and tell your master thu
house doesn't belong to me-" sa
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