The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1901-03-15
A MODEL TOWN.
Always Has Been and Is Now as
Near Perfection AS Possible.

From the III Dorado Republican.
1t has been for years a source of cS-
trcme gratification--a matter of contin-
uous self f-Congratulation--t We have
been permitted to spend the greater
part OF our life in town that is
never coarse, vulgar or slomicky. In
early days II was not unfashionablc
to snuff the candle at bed time. with
q revolver. but the revolver was al
ways silver mounted. and it was not
considered impolite for ono to ride into
a saloon and take ones drinks on
horseback, but when people were In
big hurry they didn't have time to
dismount and hitch--bCtwccn drinks.
When saloons were going. while other
towns had a half dozen, El Dorado
had but one or two. Ii has from the
first absorbed its stimulants. but ii al
ways did it quietly and in moderation,
and it always gets the very best to
be had. If it is wine It is the native
product or the purest Burgundy. The
town has always played poker, but
it does it on carpeted floors. with gem
une ivory chips. while the high art
pictures on the wall are sufficiently
drapcd so az not to offend the eye of
four flusher.
Another commendabic characteristic
of the place is that 1t is clean. 1t
never ncglects to regularly wash and
scrub itself and change its lingerie of
linen. While it seeks first the king
dom of heaven. it gets itself ready to
be a successful seeker by a vigorous
application of soap and water. Drum
Il. hi iul IL
priced soap than any other place in
the state. The town not only dresses
well, but feeds artistically as we'll as
scientifically. In fact. it is Il place
where trunes. caviar, tobasco, Roque-
fort and chatting dishes are the regular
thing.
No gulf products are ever sold here.
black bass. Shad. blue fish and blue
points from the north go readily. Vel
lowish, reddish, strinSY beef is never
hung in the butchers stalls; spring
pulets sans pedigree remain unCalleu
for and the III Dorado skillet is never
creased when the charcoal brOiler can
he substituted. and when it Is CREASED
it is with the home, product tested
inspected and O. E.'d by the oldest
and most experienced judges of the
art of sensible and polite feeding. In
| church, club and society life the picty
brilliancy and refinement on parade is
phenomenal.
Eliminate a few peOple--a very few
people--and n poCketboOk full of bills
| dropped anywhere on the street would
| be returned To it's owner in an hour
| Eliminate II very few people and the
| banks would need no time locks, public
and private buildings no locks or keys
| Eliminate u few people--a precious few
and the 1000 remaining would MOI
| only daily and hourly live up to {
| strict construction of the golden rule
| but would at the same time aCknoWl'
| edge the fatherhood Of God and the
brotherhood of man. And pcradVen-
ture, there be a few remaining who
| cannot or win not live up To the hiGl
/ ideals daily set by their fellow-CitiZenS
| and will not be good, should we b,
| called hence no sooner do we cross the
| river StyX than we shall make ii oul
! pleasurable duty to call the attention
Of the saint at the gate with the key.
to the unblessed town from which W,
SO reluctantly took passage. dwellins
| enthusiastically and at length upon tn,
| fact that it was born, nurtured an,
matured in circumscribed millennium
! where the devil was never unchaine,
! or ever permitted to roam aroun,
seeking whom he might dcvOur; where
in fact, he can never put up claim
| that he was ever accorded even stand
| ing room.
or course it is to us a nrvrr-cndin:
! joy to he permitted to live in sucn