The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-11-04
THE 0BSERVANT BANKER
HE TALKS ABOUT BARRIERS AND THE
FLOTATION OF COMPANIES.
The Man of Finance Says This City Is
Full of Alleged PhiIanthrOpists-
LOgis of Situation.

when 1 entered the barber shop after
that story about BARRIERS was published,
said the Observant Banker, Il was greeted
by my barber with. Say, Boss, do you
know what you did? You writ up in de
newspapers and I'm goin' to sue you. You's
done made fun o. me and you's got to set
tie
81 let him ramble on giving the details
of what he was going to do to me and
said nothing in reply But 1 had an ally.
the man on the next chair, who in conf
dence told me That niger is the greatest
liar in town. When first saw him, Boss,
he had rings in his ears and had just come
from Kentucky. He claimed to be
Guinea niger, that his mother was
Molly Giassco and his grandfather In
dian. Now you see, Boss, he is doing you
az conveyed this thought to my barber
who at once swelled up like a toad full
of buckshOt and said, You see dat niger?
L doan believe he has ever got ripe. Why.
when he came here he couldn't find de
stairs dat goes down to de cellar. His
parents made him climb a ladder every
night to go to bed. Let me tell you, Boss,
when dat niger first came here man
wanted an aig shampoo. What do you sup
nine aigs de mans haid and co'se dey
slipped off de floor. De boss asked
him if he was trying 70 make an omelet
and told him how TO do it. to mix de aig
up in a cup and den put il on Aigs was
30 cents dozen and dat niger nearly broke
up de shop: and now TO think dat niger
thinks! L tell you what, Boss, he is moth
ing but a flee and don't amount to nothin'
Don't you believe anything he says.
Are you underwriting any financial
schemes projects at this timer" the
Observant Banker was asked.
mo. Buddy / am not doing any writing
just now but it is wonderful to see how
many good things people are willing to
part with nowadays. Why, the papers are
full of advertisements of things to SELL
and that is what gets me. First a fell
low will start trust or combine, you
tell us all about it in your paper. and di-
recty there is preferred stock the mar
ket at a premium and people buy. Again
| say why does not the philanthropist keep
this real good thing, why not cherish it in
order that he may not go TO the poor
house?
I'm this connection 1 want to be put
on record as testifying that our little town
has more people in it TO the square inch.
I trying to assist others into good things
than any other in the United States
Just 10 keep up with the procession.
my boy, suppose get up "A trust. L
| will let you in on the ground floor II you
| will help. Here is my idea We will bot
| tie up all the coal smoke in town and build
a laboratory in the alley south of the
| public library. Alleys, you know, are city
property. and there is already established
| in that particular alley a reduction plant
| that occupies half of It's width we will
! take the other half and close up the alley
| Now for my scheme. Carbon. my boy car
bon Coal smoke is full OF il, and carbon,
you know, makes diamonds, That will be
| our business. With the aid OF our neighbors
| in supplying plenty of smoke. and a help
| ing hand from the city, We Will have some
| thing better than the waste-paper box
| franchise they granted some time ago.
| II looks TO though the experiment
/ would be a success. At any rate. We would
| have the approval of all the housewives
4 if should do away with the smoke.
! "As TO what we would make out of the
! scheme personally my boy, you will have
10 wait until we have advertised our pre-
| ferred stock. nontaXable. guaranteed per
/ cent, and see II IL takes. IL IL does not
of course. can trade IL of for skunk
| farm stock that some man is advertising
/ for sale in the northern part of the State,
or else we might put IL in with the man
| who has found gold in his gravel pit in
| Madison county, or we might join orr
forces with the man in Brown county who
raises rattlesnakes for their oil that cures
/ consumption. Don't be alarmed, boy, for
we will light somewhere"