The age-herald., 1901-09-15

''There are lunatics and lunatics," said Rebecca. And if you have an eye to sec there are many more of them outside of asylums than in them. But of all tho pestiferous, obnoxious. public nuisance fit for the straight jacket lunatics com mend me to these reformers who are cons stantly getting In the way of decent folk and trying to stir up trouble. I wish were lunatico commissiono inquirendo or whatever you call it, for few briee hours. I'd send em to place where the walls are high. the windows barred aEl the locks of time variety set to open some time in the twenty-first century"
 My dear Rebecea," I cried, what an outburstl Pray what has the child of the racetrack got against the reformers? Haven't been speaking cross to you, nave they? "
 "Oh, they haven't been bothering me personally, of course" she replied with some asperity '1d like to see one Of them come into my premises. I'd set the dog on them mighty quick, l can tell you"
 I looked with admiration at the we'll kept lawn looking out upon the plue waters of Sheepshead Bay and smiled az the thought of a reformer trying to take Rebecca's five barred fence with her fe- nous brindle bulldog hanging to the calf of hls leg. She'd do it. too, for there Is nothing in the shape of man, woman or devil that Rebecca is afraid or.
 A Frank Admission. 2 .I may be a lunatlc myself" she went on. pleased with the same suggestion. .sIf I do say 1t who shouldn't, I am guilty of reading the newspapers, and sometimes they are so full of stuff about these crazy reformers and their doings that I take them out into the kitchen and put them into the fire and curse my self for the time have wasted oh such trash which shows that I have lucio Intervals if the papers have not. But what I cannot understand Is the patient way the public suffers from the wild aberrations of these public nuisances. What do We have boards of health for?
 "Why do we pay men in our sanitary bureaus to study microbes and germs and find means of destroying them? What are our allenists doing that they permit the vermin to infest our com ,munities, destroying the peace and hap piness of the inhabitants and menacin8 the life of the community? It seems .o me that it Is about time to organize & society of good citizens entitled the So- ~ 6. the charter members. Won't we make tho wool fly? We'll. just watch usf'
 t'Rut my dear child" I said, would you not then be a reformer yourself? Seems to me you are reading ynnrself into the same category with thoS> you condemn
 The idea tcl,led the horseman's merry daughter and she laughed for fully five minutes
 A Happy Death.
 'You are right" she said I'm as bad as the rest Send for the patrol wagon and a straight jacket! But do not think that I would attempt to reform the re- TJrmers. That would be too hopeless task No! I go In for drowning them!
 My dear boy, there Is no way short of death to suppress these monsters of modern life. They are like the little yell low dos who goes to the pond and the lethal cage. They will bark and get in your way SD long as there is breath In their bodies. They can't help 1t. It is their nature to be yellow dogs It mat ters not whether they are reformers for revenue, lke-well. some whom l could mention-or the other kind. who yelp and howl in order to attract atter.ion to their very unpleasant selves. dis ease is bred in the bone, dyed r wool II is incurable. They will be " dogs until they die. The communitf has no other way to get rid of them unless It shuts them up for life in the asylum and even there they are liable to disturb the ncighbors with their barking.
 Now. just look back over the years that you remember Do you remember a refofmer in all that time who ever ae> complished anything? Tell me single good thing they ever did and I won't say another word about them. But, bless you. they arc not trying to accomplish anything. They have no purpose, moral