davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La Junta tribune., 1901-07-03
Tn. oiso,e. ou...io".

Most religious bodies lave in
their general conventions, and by
those highest in authority, declared
against the re-marriage OF divorced
persons. The Roman Catholic
Church absolutely iorbids the re-
marriage OF divorced person. but
on the other hand defines holy
matrimony So as not to include
civil contract marriages. The
High Church or Episcopalian
Catholic Churchman. while allow
ing divorces will not re-marrv such
a person under any consideration.
The Episcopal Church. the NJ. E.
Church and most branches of
Methodism. and most Of the pro
testant denomina lions forbid their
ministers to perform the marriage
OF .'t.i, orced persons. except it be
the innt cent party in an adultery
case" In this brief article one can
not enter into the question. and this
much is written m. r. ~ that the
question may be agitsted. and in
hopes that a healthier sentiment
may be aroused.
In Otero county there have been
the re marriage in the year 1900
and until June 80. 1901: Males,
5; females, s; by civil authority.
4, Judg- Fini,y. !; Judge Miller.
8; NJ. +. Ministers, 4; Stewart, i;
Vallow. I; Money, 2; Presbyterian.
DR.. Coltmsn. 4; Baptist. MI
Cta,, i; Christian. Mr. Nelson. 1.
In no case are the grounds OF
livo,ce as stated. ADULTERY, and in
those performed hv ministers it is
non support and desertion Lest
they be judged too harshly let
us hope they questioned the parties
and bad sufficient evidence that
the real cause OF the separations
Was adultery. Judge not thar
W be not judged. But what
stsrtles us is that more than one,
third OF these marriages were per
formed by minister. of q denomi
nation SO pronounced on the qu-s
t,on. and one-fonr,h hy an official
n,-,nisr OF the same denomination.
l.king seven Of the eleven MARI
ages ptrformed ny members Of
this denomination.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
The Absence of Il.

Ii there is any truth in the saying
that happiness is the absence of all
pain, mental and physical, the enjoy
ment of it can only be found in
heaven. But so far as the physical is
concerned, it is within easy reach; at
least measurably so, as far as cure will
go. The sum of human misery in
this line is made up Of greater or less
degrees of physical suffering. The
minor aches and pains which afflict
mankind are easy to reach and as
easily cured. There are none in the
whole category, which, if taken in
time, cannot be cured. They must
in some form afflict the nerves, the
bones, the muscles and joints of the
human body. They are all more OF
less hurtful and wasteful to the sys-
tenn. St. Jacobs Oil is made to cure
them, to search out hidden pain spots,
and to cure promptly in true RENE
dial and lasting way. Very, very
many have not known happiness fol
years till they used it, and very many
are putting off cure and happiness be.
cause they don't use it.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
A MASTERPIECE IN THE WAY.
How an English Artist Escaped Win
ming an Unenviable Notoriety.

How an English Artist Escaped Win.
ming an Unenviable Notoriety.
When Irving Montagu. the war art
ist. was a very young man, before he
had mastered the elementary princi-
Piles Of his art, he narrowly escaped an
adventure that he says would have
brought him q sudden notoriety In the
art world which few would have en-
We'd. He was wandering through
Marlborough House. then Vernon Gal
lery. with party Of friends, and as
they were exploring deserted passages,
his companions playfully shut the
door, not knowing that it fastened
with a spring lock, and expecting him
to turn up presently, ran off to continue
their work in the galleries.
Thus ''cribbed. cabined and contin-
ed" says Montagu, remained patient
enough at first, hoping 1t would be but
a short-lived jest; but half an hour hav-
ing elapsed, my patience began to di-
minish and the situation to pail upon
me. In vain did l try to make myself
heard, SO 1 set about to find some
means Of exit.
commenced by slowly feeling of
the walls around me. Now. strangely
enough, and much to my relief, the
back part Of my prison house was as
flexible as if the paper of the adjoining
room were only strained on canvas
across 1t.
An idea struck me. Nothing cou'd
be easier than to take my penknife and
cut slit sufficiently long for me to
step through into the next apartment.
I was just on the point of carrying
out this idea when 1 heard footsteps.
and CHEEKY voice without exclaiming:
"Oh, 1 say, old fellow, you there still!
We'd forgotten all about you till mo-
ment ago. This is almost too much of
joke. You might have been there all
night"
Then, seeing the knife in my hand, he
inquired if had contemplated suicide
during my solitude.
Certainly not; only wasn't going to
be shut up in such a place when
found that I could cut through that
partition"
| Partition! What. that canvas at the
back?"
His look of horror startled me.
''Yes, and why not?"
"Good heavens! Why, you We're OF
the point of walking through 'Childe
Harold's Pilgrimage'-getting througt
six thousand pounds at one step, to say
the least of itv'
1t was true enough, too, as l after
ward discovered. 1t was Turner'S
masterpiece which stopped the way
and not, as had supposed. a canvas
wall. One moment more, and l shoul(
have gained notoriety in the ar
world which few would have enviet
me-Youth's Companion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Smoke and Fire.

"Mr. Waffies," said the landlady, Il
have word to say to you"
make it dozen, Mrs. Fry" remark
ed the young man.
''Mr Wafties." said the landlady, you
have been smoking in the parlor."
Eyes, Mrs. Fry"
"You have smoked in the parlor many
times, Mr.. Waff1es. And you have
smoked in your room, and in the Ii
brary, and even in the diningroom-
and you owe ME for three weeks board
Mr. Waffles."
"Yes, Mrs. Fry"
"Where there is so much smoke, Mr.
Waf1es, there must be some fire."
So she fired him.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
An Incomplete House.

We run wild over the furnishings
of a house; its furniture, carpets,
hangings, pictures and music, and
always forget or neglect the most i'm
portant requisite. Something there
should be always on the shelf to pro-
vide against sudden casualties or at
tacks of pain. Such come like a
thief in the night; sprain, strain,
sudden backache, toothache or neu-
ralgic attack. There is nothing easi-
er to get than bottle of st. Jacobs
Oil, and nothing surer to cure quick
ly any form of pain The house is
incomplete without it. Complete it
with a good supply.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
A NARROW ESCAPE
An Indiana Woman's Terrible
Experience.

"It was frightful experience and
1 never expected to come out alive" ;"
said Mrs. Ellen Bowman, of No. 80
Windsor block, Indianapolis, Ind,
in the course of an interview recently
published in the Sun of that city.
81 do not suppose it ever would have
happened" she continued, ''but,
some years ago began to worry and
to do more work than l ought. This
brought on a general physical weak
ness, my blood became thin and I
grew nervous. l went to doctor and
he said I had consumption"
''Did he advise any course of treat
ment?"
'Yes, he gave me some medicine
which ! took, but it did me no good.
Other doctors failed to help me and I
became respondent of ever getting
we'll. My limbs ached, my head was
dizzy and was most miserable.
"You don't look now as if you had
ever been sick, T" ventured the report
"No. and I don't feel as if ever
had" said she. 81 owe my present
health to DIR. Williams Pink
Pills for Pale People. About four
years ago a friend from Ohio recon-
mended the pills to me, saying they
had benefited his daughter whose
symptoms were similar to mine, so ]
began to use them. 1t was only q
very short time before experienced
relief. I have recommended the
pills to many, for l am confident that
benefit will follow their use. "
There is hardly person who does
not worry at times and fret about
things that go wrong. And worry ii
responsible for as much sickness az
any other cause. 1t interferes with
the action Of the stomach and racks
the nerves. The result is that the
blood becomes poor and the nervous
system impaired. The power of DR.
Williams Pink Pills for Pale People
in the vast number of diseases due te
arrangement of the nervous system
or to impure blood has been demon.
strated in thousands of instances a,
remarkable as the one related above
They cure locomotor ataxia. partia
paralysis, St. Vitus dance, sciatica
neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous head
ache, after effects of the grip, palpita
tion of the heart, pale and sallov
compilations, and all forms of weak
ness either in male or female At al
druggists, or direct from DR.. Will
Jams Medicine Co., Schenectady, N
Y, so cents per box; six boxes
$3.50.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED

By local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu-
tional remedies. Deafness is caused by an in
famed condition OF the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in
famed you have q rumbling sound or imper-
deafness is the result, and unless the infamms-
ton can be taken out and this tube restored to
its normal condition, hearing will be destroyed
forever; nine cases out OF ten are caused by
catarrh which is nothing but an infamed
condition of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused by oatarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free.
Sold by Druggists, 75c
Hellsa WaniIv pills are the best.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
The Typewriter Invention.

A statistician has proved that the inven-
ton of the typewriter has given employ
meut to 100000 people, but he fails to state
how many cases of weak stomachs and dys-
pepsia it has induced. All people of Sc
dentary occupation need Hostetters Stom-
ach Bitters. 1t is a wonderful medicine
and helps nature bear the strain which
ensues from confinement. 1t also cures
dyspepsia, indigestion. constipation and
fatulency. Be sure to try it and you will
not be disappointed.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
FAMOUS "ANcHoR" FENCE.
A Boon to the Northwest Which Is Liked by
Land Owners

The famous "Anchor" fence that Is
being SO generally introduced now in
the northwest has the universal dis
tinction of being even better than its
friends claimed. The Portland
Anchor Fence Company has agents
all over the country now introducing
this really wonderful fence. Its SIM
plicity, extreme durability, and cheap
ness make everybody marvel.
To satisfy the general interest, an
officer Of the company was asked to
describe the chief points of construc-
tion. He said:
"In the first place, it is made of all
large wires, the upright stays being
of No. s, and the running of No. 8
wire, which singly stand breaking
strain of l, 500 pounds. In the second
place there is not a small, weak or
twisted wire used in our fence con-
struction.
''The uprights are so securely fast
ened that man or beast cannot break
the fence down.
THE end, corner and gate posts
must be large, and securely braced,
and SO placed that the center of the
posts will be on line with the face
of the line posts. After the posts are
set, fasten one end of the wire and
run to the other end CIR corner post,
where the wires are cut, passed
through the center of post, then at
tached to the automatic ratchet and
frightened to a hard tension. Use q
gauge to keep the wires at uniform
spacing before stapling to line posts
and do not drive staples tight, but
allow room for the wires to work
Take upright stays and place equa
distance, put on the clamps and close
with clamp pincers. These clamps
will hold, you cannot get the wires te
move. This is the secret of our fence
It's the most economical and stur
diest fence on earth. Tell the people
to send to the Portland Anchor Fenc,
Co., 742 Nicholai street, Portland
Ore, for free photographs and full
description.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Disease and Remedy.

"That must be pretty bad tooth
ache to swell your face like that. Why
don't you see dentist?"
81 did call on my friend, DR.. Pullem,
yesterday, and experienced great re-
lief"
"You must be mistaken. Pullem
has been out of town for a week."
II know. I felt relieved when I
found that out. ut."-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Headed Off.

Hobb-What's the matter with
Windpipe? He used to be always
boring people with advice, and now he
says so little and seems to be SO
Thoughtful.
Nobbs-Yes; his wife conceived the
happy idea of getting him into the
habit of writing letters to the news
papers, and now he's too busy to do
anything else.-Harper's Bazar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Florida,s Dismal swamp.

There is, perhaps, no part of the
United States which has been so little
explored as the Great Dismal Swamp,
unless it be the everglades of Florida.
This great body of land, covered with
forests growing in six to ten feet OF
water, extends over an area of about
2,4O0 square miles, its greatest width
being 40 miles and its greatest length
60 miles.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
He Drew the Line.

Hold on therei" called Charon to
the new arrival at the ferry over the
Styx." "You wait until the next trip,
and I'll take you over alone"
s'Why this distinction?" inquired
one of the spirit passengers.
ooh, he's one of those fools that rock
the boat, and 1 don't want to spoil the
trip for the rest of you."-Baltimore
American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Eczema
A Picnic Incident.

Either that young fellow down
there with his girl is liar or I'm
nothing" remarked the adventurous
caterpillar, as he proceeded to lower
himself on his silken thread.
What do you mean?" inquired the
tree toad.
Il just heard him tell her that moth
ing, she might be sure, would ever
come between them!"-Philadelp
Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01

Brooklyn, N. Y, Sept. 16th.-The Garfield
Tea Co., manufacturers of Garfield Tea Gar
field Headache Powders, Garfield Tea Syrup,
Garfield Relief Plasters, Garfield Digestive
Tablets and Garfield Lotion, are now occupy
ing the large and elegant office building and
factory recently erected by them. For many
years the Garfield Remedies have been grow
ing in popularity, and their success is well
deserved. They cure diseases and keep people
! we'll and strong.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
As PROXY.

1 can't see why man of his size
wants to be crowding women away
from the bargain counter for!" snap
ped one of the crowded.
Madam" plaintively spoke the
large man, turning his head to address
her, 'I am here as representative of
a family of eleven daughters" Chi
cago Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Millions In It.

81 say, I've got a scheme" said
the inventive genius, that will make
me independently rich if succeed in
perfecting it."
What is it," asked a friend.
"It has been estimated" continued
the l. g., that an ordinary female
house fly will lay 10000 eggs in a
season."
eyes, answered the friend, "but
what's the scheme?"
ST propose" replied the genius, "to
graft the house fly on the barn yard
hen"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
A Wild Goose.

"Say, daddy, 1 notice in the pape,
that Chicago university is giving away
ten LII. D. and ten D. D. degrees
What do those DIS mean?
where does this happen ?'
"At the University of Chicago"
sThen they must mean dollars."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
II There's Money in II.

"Do you think the North Pole
will ever be discovered?" asked the
scientist.
"I could not say" answered the
capitalist. Possibly a trust may
some time be pursuaded that there is
money in it. Washington Star. <
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Extineuished, Though.

Nell-You surely don't think Jenk-
ms wife pretty?
Belle-Certainly not.
"But you told May Sewers that she
was just lovely"
''That was because May was an old
fame of jenkins" Rec
ord.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01

CARNIVAL
TICKETS
Positive Proof.

Tess-Oh, yes; I'm positive she is
twenty-five.
Jess-I suppose you saw the record
in the family Bible, eh?
Tess-Better than that. I asked
her at what age she thought a girl
should marry, and she promptly said
'twenty-eight. ."-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
What is "Nothine" Z

An old Scotch farmer, being elected
a member of the local school board
visited the school and tested the in
telligence of the class by his ques
tions. The first inquiry was:
Moo, boys, can ony O. ye ell me
what naething is?"
After a moments silence, a small
boy in the back seat arose and repli
ed:
tits what We gle me t'other day fol
haudin' yer horse! london Answers
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
DissinQue.

"She comes of grand old family,
/ believer"
Eyes, very! An ancestor of hers
was beheaded in the tower during the
reign of the Fourth Edward"
"How perfectly lovelyP P-Detroit
Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Truth Crushed to Earth.

"What shall I say to these news
paper mem" asked the private secre-
tary of the great manufacturer.
What do they want?"
"Our men have been striking all day
and the reporters are after informa-
ton"
"Tell them," said the great manu-
facturer, that we are running like
clock work with striking regularity"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Low Grade of Intelligence.

"It's astonishing, Jim Bangs, that
you don't know enough to come home
before daylight! Why can't you imi-
tate the moon?"
''Wha's matter wiz moon?"
why, the moon knows enough to
drop out of sight when it's full
Boston Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
First American Book Printed.

The first book printed in the limits
Of the United States was the bay
Psalms Book" which was issued in
Cambridge, Mass, in 1640. Specimens
Of this publication are extremely rare
and command very high prices.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
An lnsinuation.

Willie-Paw. is the devil every
place?
Father-Yes; every place, my son:
now, don't bother me any more.
WillieI won't, paw; but amt you
afraid to go out after night
State Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Misgivings.

THAT was very lucid document
you prepared" said the friend.
YES" answered the statesman dubi-
ously. 81 made it so lucid that 1 am
afraid the public will fail to regard it
as able and profound Washington
Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Odd Custom.

The women in Germany have pc
culiar idea in regard to receiving
rose minus its leaves or green foliage.
It is considered a gross insult there
to offer lady rose stripped of its
leaves.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Lucky Man.

"The man next door to you is going
off on a summer vacation. Why don't
you take rest, too?"
''I'll get it now. He's going to take
his whole family, including his piano
pounding daughter, his bowling dog,
and all that. ."-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
A True Prophecy.

Nabb-I believe Madam DeTouch
can foretell ones future accurately.
Dabb-Nonsense.
Nabb-But she said cold, naughty
man would cross my path.
Dabb-Well, as left her apartments
the iceman entered.-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Exclusiyeness.

Mrs. Purseproud-I see where sew
eral millionaires chartered a whole
steamboat in order to come across the
ocean.
Mr.. Purseproud-Well, when we go
over we will lease the ocean for a
! week.-Baltimore American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Impartial.

Tess-I never see Miss Spinner out
wheeling that Mr.. Wheeler and Mr.
Sprocket are not with her.
Jess-Yes; she's got them both on
her string. The girls are calling her
"Miss Tandem"
Tess-But she rides an Individual
wheel.
Jesuit she's a bicycle maid for
two" o."-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
A Sure Thing.

Promoter-Now, in case the stock
goes up, you win.
Financier-Yes; but in case it goes
down?
Promoter-Then l win. You see this
Is sure thing; one or the other of us
is sure to win.-Ohio State Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
A Close Call.

Don't you talk to your husband
over the phone?"
Never. When have anything of
Importance to say to my husband,
want to get near him."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01

Sculptor-What sort of bust do you
wish for yourself?
Mr.. Newrocks-Well, amt particu-
lar, but PM gettin' it to please Mrs.
Newrocks, and she says it must be a
NEUROLOGICAL one.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
FaStidious.

"Jane Meadows was almost drown
ed in the latest Staten, Island ferry
collision"
How was that?"
"She said the life preserver didn't
match that new shirt waist of hers.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
SisterIy Sympathv.

Gwendolen-How late you are, dear!
What have you been doing all the af-
ternoon?
Maud-He1ping the Grisbys at their
"at home" and making myself general
ly fascinating and agreeable
Gwendolen-Poor thing! What a
hard days work for you!-Punch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Polluted Blood
BSseeds Disease

more filed with new rich b1oos
grow stronger, and sores and err
S. S. S. is the only guarants
and most reliable in all blood di
during the past fifty years and
to send you our book free, and i
about your case this informatie
enced and educated doctors.
confidence. THE SWIF
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01

A Wonderful Echo.

The most remarkable echo in the
world is that which comes from the
north side of church in Shipley.
It distinctly repeats any sentence
not exceeding 81 syllables.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Three a Day.

Tourist in Ireland Ito rural postman)
How many mails have you here in
the day?
'Three-breakfast, dinner and tay.'
London Fun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Out Of Place.

Cholly-I get such frightful head
aches lately. Doctor thinks, perhaps,
there's some foreign substance in my
bwain.
Miss Peppery-Ah! An idea, per-
haps.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
Not a Coneenial Pursuit.

"And you will devote your son to
art?"
mo. He has too good an appetite" :"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-10-01
in the Philadelphia StyIe.

"The Sultan of Jolo has given fifty
year absolute concession of the island
of Paragua to one of the native
princes"
well, say, the Sultan of Jolo must
think he's the Mayor Ashbridge of the
Philippines. Cleveland Plain Dealer