davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
SPOKE A STRANGE TONGUE.

From the New York Sun: Little
yohn Winthrop Pork Bennington or
Boston spoke English perfectly, as was
to be expected, and had a speaking ac-
quaintance with all the continental
languages as we'll as smattering' OF
Arabic, Hindustani, Tagalog, Mon
goose, Chinese, hex, Conshshecken,
Bungalow and a number of dialects,
but he was up against it hard, as one
would not say in Boston, when he
heard two New York grown persons
talking one day while he was taking
the air in the public garden of his ma
tive city. He listened in speechless
amazement at first. and later in studi-
GUS contemplation, and what follows
Is all he could get out of it. 1t is not
positively known that the speakers
were New Workers. but John thought
they were because they were SO unlike
Bostonians.
Hoo zee?" said one, nodding toward
a man who had passed by.
"Givva tup," replied the other.
"Jou spoze heez zennybody?"
Nope. Look slika slob."
"Izze, jou spose?"
Dunno"
"Bawst'nza bum burgaintit?"
Cert. Lessavva ball?"
"Ri-chu-ar. K'mawn."
"Whairza tat?"
"Damfino."
"Praps thrain tennay."
"Uv cour-athairiz."
Howl uno?"
"Booze'n' brainzer pards; n Bawst'n
sci on brains"
"Ura wise guy"
"Butta amt Bawst'n. Waffle
pump the kid"
The speaker walked over and spoke
to the boy.
"Say, bub," he said. "whairk'n we
gitta drink"
AT the fountain yonder, sir" re-
piled John Winthrop, suppressing his
,, anger at being called "bub."
Jaw, whatter you givvinus?" pro-
tested the inquirer.
Information. sir, concerning where
you may secure the drink for which
you have inquired" replied the aston
ished Bostonian.
"Tain't that kinduv wet werrafter,
explained the stranger
rs it alcoholic?" asked John Win
throp, with rare acumen.
"Thatsit." said the delighted seeker
for moisture. "Whairz the boozery?"
The boy told the man to inquire of
one Of the garden guardians and the
man went back to his companion.
"Duzzy know whairtherza placer"
inquired the man waiting.
"Dunnoaffy duzzernot. Talks some
kind of foreign language, butta guess
he meanza park cop. Lesgo see" and
the two strangers went off on their
quest with John Winthrop Pork Bean
ington listening to them as far as he
could catch their words.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
the paper and motioning Mar berry 70

the paper and motioning Mar berry d
q chair. Vs.
what Is it," asked Marberry. Z,
mann has made an assignment"
Cant be true"
That's what the paper says"
Marberry folded the inventory
slowly and pushed it into his pocket "
He walked over to the Star office
and talked to Tooly. On his depart
ure he took a paper from the mailing
desk, then went to the postoffice and
got another out Of his box. Prof.
Bennett was reading the Star to a
crowd of six. The assignment was
the local of interest. Another item
Marberry had overlooked, was also re-
ceiving it's share of comment. Miss
Ola Mann had secured position in
the Archer school. Prof. Bennett tes-
tilted to the truth of the last bit Of
news.
John d. Marberry walked across the
street with a new buoyancy in his step
tearing the inventory into bits and
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
WHEN HE FELT FAMOUS.

Senator Jonathan Prentiss Dolliver,
who recently took the sea- in the
United States senate made vacant by
the death of General Gear of Iowa, is
noted for his keen sense of humor. He
can tell a story with wonderful effect.
His keen sense of humor would have
made him a comedian if nature had
not cast his other faculties in more
serious mold Therefore his fun only
crops out at times. When | asked him
when and where he first began to con-
slider himself famous he said: MY
first term in congress gave me my first
sense of exaltation. The people up in
the Iowa hills had little lake and
they namad it after me. Then new
postoffice was named in my honor and
q colorsd woman named her baby after
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
THE WEST,

] listen to the rumble and rattle Of the
rail :;
And to my ears unfolded the w>rld's
most wondrous tale;
The prairie tanned and broken; the FOR
est split in two;
The lake and ocean blended; the. noun
tain shivered through;
The chasm knit with iron; the cataract
swung back;
Both Time and Distance shrunken with
every foot of track.
The tramp OF millions westward Is echoed
from the wheel:
The strain of millions striving sensations
new to feel; '.',
New cities planned at twilight. perfected
with the dawn;
Our Nations might replenished by west
ern brain and Drawn.
The fruits are, aye! most luscious; the
flowers fairest bloom
The men are best and bravest. ana there
is least of gloom
Where sets the Star of Empire, where
Sun of Progress dips,
And Furnishes the wheat fields and gilds
the grooming ships.
F A. Murray.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
In Nuremberg
City 4p.
Nuremberg letter.


Nuremberg is a Bavarian city with
a history. 1t was begun LOO years
ago and, though its development has
been frequently arrested, is growing
still. 1t is Santa Claus workshop, for
more toys are made here than any
where else on the globe. Although 49,
900 persons make livelihood in the
construction of these tiny playthings
there is no big factory in which to
study the process of manufacture.
Nine-tenths of the output is made at
home among the women, who are ex-
pert in the delicate handiwork. The
city has other claims to pre-eminence.
1t is the city with windows in the
roof" and it stands unique among
European cities in this way. This
peculiar kind of building has given
Nuremberg a distinctive architecture
familiar to lovers Of the quaint. Then
It bears evidence of great age, such
as no other city of Europe does, In
the walls and towers and castle which
were reared in medieval times and
which stand today defying the scepter
of Father Time. The castle, 10 CEN
turtles old, still in an excellent state
of preservation, is perched on an
eminence commanding the city and the
country for long distance. The stone
walls, for there are the outer and the
inner, between which was the moat
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

VA type vi SOllc vi lhC hOihSS 80
Nuremberg.)
encircled the city and made 1t I'M
pregnable to attack. On the inner and
higher wall towers to the number OF
7O,,' some round and some square, fur
nished outlooks for the garrison on the
approach of an enemy. While most OF
these reminders Of we ancient days re-
main, still considerable portion has
been RACED. In 1866 the Prussian army
of investment demolished nearly a
mile of the Notifications. The old part
of Nuremberg with its winding streets,
houses facing the streets, with their
long gabled roofs and balconies OF
stone and wood profusely ornamented
with carving overhanging the sidewalk,
make the American feel he is indeed
in strange. aud ancient city. The
picturesqueness is heightened by the
bridges spanning the .Pegnitz river,
which cuts the town in two and which
was once the outlet for the commerce
which made Nuremberg rich and noted
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

A remarkable incident is officially
reported from the central provinces OF
India in connection with the famine.
The bamboos in various districts were
found to be yielding mamma" OF a
kind and quality hitherto unknown to
the natives, who have been finding 1t
valuable help to them in their fam
ished condition. Samples have been
analysed by the government reporter
on economic products with an unex-
pected result. Mr.. Hooper finds it to
be composed of sacharose almost iden-
tical with cane sugar. the ingredients
being-sugar, 1888; water, 266; ash.
.g6 and glucose, 10. Neither expert
officials nor natives ever before heard
of this product coming from bamboo,
and it is not surprising that this OPP
perfume yield of mamma" is regarded
under the circumstances, as an act of
Providence.
The sultan of Morocco, who is not
inclined to pedestrianism, has had a
little line of cars built through all the
rooms of his palace. ending in his
bedroom. A small motor pulls novel
sort of sleigh fitted with two seats. in,
which the sultan is able to recline at
his ease.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
A Legal Affair. =
BY GUY A. JAMESON.


downright. 1901. by Daily Story Pub. Coz
The little sign screaked monoton-
ously as 1t swayed back and forth
in the wind. In fact, it was the only
sign of animation for two blocks, bar
a rival sign across the street that
screaked and swayed just as vehe-
mently, and to as little purpose. The
sign in question informed the pubic,
or would have, had there been
a public, that John ID. Marberry was
an attorney and real estate agent, anu
that he had a choice lot of residence,
business, farm and ranch property LOT
sale or rent on easy terms. The tru'A
is, the town of Archer was for sale or
rent on easy terms: and the lew 1ainl-
lies. who had not already lei. for less
drouthy country, remained from neces-
sity more than choice.
John d. Marberry, who had come
West to grow up with the country
was, at the very time of which | write,
sitting in small, hot, dusty office be-
meath the screaking sign, gazing a.
stractedly up the deserted street, Gilt
to the interminable stretch OF parchea
prairie. When he located in, Archer
it was on a boom; immigration WAS
pouring into the county, the Res-a
and Taw r. r. had been surveyed TO
the town, and everything indicated
an era of development and prosperity
But, for some reason, not known 10
the public, the road was not built;
and short crops and two years OF
drouth had caused, to use an express
sion usually applied to such conol-
lions, the whole bottom to drop olt.
John d. Marberry's thoughts were
not as abstract as his appearance. In
fact, they had very practical trend.
He was thinking seriously OF selling
outlook, stock and barrel, If sucn an
expression is applicable to the law
and real estate business,-and moving
back East. He had made bad ven.
ture, he had been disappointed, he
was heartily tired of the dry monot-
ony of things. The West held but one
attraction for him-and but for Mld
attraction this story would not have
been written He had met Miss Ola
Mann, and that meant that he had
fallen under the spell of her charming
personality. Miss Ola was the daugh-
ter of rich old rsncher, who num-
bered his acres and cattle, by the
thousands. In the active outdoor life
she had led she had developed into
superb specimen of the western wom-
an-she was beautiful, cultured,
wealthy. Therein lay the perplexity
of the case. Marberry felt himself a
man of parts, that he had future
but, for the present, he was stranded
He had often thought over the matter
as he tossed restlessly nights. and as
he sat detected in the stuffy little Of
fee watching the dust drift down the
deserted street To presumptuously,
boldly speak his mind and put an end
to the consuming. uncertainty, or
move East, establish himself, and
write-that was the question. Once,
as he returned from a Fourth of July
celebrations where he, as the orator
of the decision, had covered himself
with glory, he had been on the point
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19


A practical proof of what can be done
in the way of establishing old-age pen
sions without government assistance is
given by the Provident Institution OF
Builders Foremen and Clerks Of
Works, London, Eng. The members OF
the institution, when incapacitated by
old age from following their employ
ment. obtain weekly pension of IL
shillings, and this sum is about to be
increased to Is shillings. When the
pensioners die their widows are not
forgotten, sum Of 6 shillings week
being allowed them. The society is in
prosperous condition. not mainly
through the subscriptions-each men,
Der pays only pounds year-but it
has the good will of the large Lon
don builders, who literally subscribe
to the funds.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

of an avowal of his love. but Miss Ola
had seemed to parry his words. and
being proud, sensitive, he had re-
manned silent. D.. ~
But, now, his mind was made up.
He jerked his chair to the desk and
began to prepare an inventory of his
Office fixtures, books, etc. The work
completed, he walked across the street
to the rival sign. Taylor, the owner,
had invested pretty heavily in real
estate and would likely remain, as
there was no prospect of his disposing
of it for. some years. He could sell
his plumber to him; if not. why. he
would take it with him.
Taylor was looking over the last
issue of the. Archer Star, a copy he
had taken from the press, strictly
against the rules Of the office, only
ten minutes before
well, I guess. the worst has hap
pened," he began, looking up from
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

II have something to say, Miss Olga"
casting it on the hot wind. He en-
tered his office and took down the
buster that had been taking a pro-
tracted rest. Every book and piece of
furniture was gone over carefully and
re-arranged. When he sat down to
his desk again there was a tidy and
prosperous appearance about the room
that it had not worn since the days OF
the railroad BOOM. John d. Marberry
had finally determined that the fate OF
Archer should be his fate-sink or
swim, survive or perish-he would
remain in Archer.
He went industriously to work on
taking he had given up some weeks
before from sheer Encouragement.
He was still writing when buggy
rolled up to the door. He looked up,
surprised at the interruption. Mss
Ola greeted him cordially. He has
tened out to assist her from the buggy.
II her fathers financial embarrass-
ment weighed heavily on her mind,
she was successful indeed, in conceal
ing it. She was the same fresh, SEN
sible, charming Miss Ola. 80,
Il have just read the Star, Miss
Ola," began Marberry, when they were
seated. You'll pardon me for refer
ring to it, and allow ME"
Excuse me-" broke in Miss Ola;
but please do not mention it. There's
nothing to be sorry for-we still have
the home place and, you know, | have
secured position in the school. After
all, what is little more or less prop
erty? Here are some papers father
told me to hand to you. He wishes
you to look over them" She rose to
60. Marberry rose also.
II have something to say to you,
Miss OLA" he. began, stepping nearer;
something / would have said before
this had it not been for certain cir
cumstanceJ and which, but for certain
other circumstances, l would not say
now" .r.
Miss Ola resumed her seat.
Il desire you to know, Miss OLA" he
continued hesitatingly; that love
you"
MiSs Ola's eyes were on the floor,
roses came and went on her cheeks.
Then. she looked up sweetly and said:
Pm sure, Mr.. Marberry, I'm not dis
pleased" ..,
Not single client dropped in to
interrupt the conversation that fol-
lowed. But then, if there had been
clients in Archer it would not have
happened just as it did
The rival sign across the street was
still screaking and tapping fruitlessly
when Marberry and his visitor stepped
into the buggy and rolled Off
Taylor eyed them critically over the
corner of his paper. There was some
thing telltale about his rival that
caused his thoughts to go wandering
back to sunny day-now buried,
with, many other bright things, in the
past-when he had entered the land
Were Love is king.
"There'll soon be another local in
the STAR" he unused, and his thoughts
drifted back to silent streets, scorched
prairie, and bad investments. So.
A few months later there was quiet
wedding out at Mann's Ranch. Tooly,
of the Star, was best man. Taylor
congratulated his rival heartily. Mar
berry-well, Marberry-was happy.
Archer is no longer a deserted viii
lage, but thriving western metropo-
lis. The screaking sign that tapped
above Marberry's Office has long since
ceased to screak. Marberry occupies
elegant rooms above Mann and Mar
berry's bank. Those who write him
use the prefix Hon"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
EvERYDAys THAT COUNT.

The course of life is thousand
trifes-then some crisis-and again
a thousand trifles and a crisis, moth
ing but green leaves under crimson
sun and shadow, and then q storm or
a rare June day. And far more than
the storm or the perfect day the COM
mon sun and shadow do to make the
autumn rich. 1t is the everydays that
count. They must be made to tell or
the years have failed.-William Chan
ming Gannett in New York Tribune
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
AS JOHNNY LOOKS AT 1T.

Mas vegetarian,
Pas a faith-curist,
Uncle John he says he's an
Anti-imperyulist.
Sister Sues Wagner crank,
Brother Bill plays golf,
Gran'pa tells what he takes
Fer to cure his cough.
Cousin Jen writes poetry
Tells us what she's wrote
Aunt Lavint always claims
Wimmin ought to vote.
l go out in the back yard
Soon as they commence,
Men my dogs I'll only ones
What's got any sense.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

A young man in Emporia, Mo-, re-
Gently received letter from his sweet
heart in another town and in it he
was told to look under the stamp on
the envelope" The young man spent
an hour steaming that letter and when
he finally got the sta mp off he read:
Was 1t hard to get II off?"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
fF2feS@ag ==zG
w. ~ 3 e 5 f&l1zfS@A N%}eYR

me. I began to think of engaging
a niche in some temple Of fame. But
in my second term | was disillusioned.
climatic disturbance dried up the
lake, free delivery wiped out the post
Office and the child died-and l found
myself back at the very place whers
I had started"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

Teacher-What made you so late?
Tommy had to wait for ma to
wrap up bundle for me to leave at
Mrs. Browns.
Teacher-Surely 1t didn't take your
mother nearly an hour to do that
Tommy-Yes You see, the paper
she was wrappin' it up in had love
story in it.-Philadelphia Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

Memphis, Tenn, is taking no little
pride in her distinction Of being tho
mule metropolis of the south. Some
one, referring to this flourishing and
wealthy city, says there 1t Ii CASE
of bankr and brays."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

Husband-Isn't it about time Mrs.
Borrore was returning our call?
Wife-Yes. but if she does return it
it will be more than she does with the
other things she gets from us.-De-
troit Free Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
Chewing Ord~rs.

Mrs. Naggs Cat telephone)-"Is ny
husband in the Officer"
Office Boy-"No, ma'am."
Mrs Naggs-"When will he be in?"
Office Boy can't say"
Mrs Naggs-"Why can't you?"
Office Boy-"Because he told me not
to-"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
Her Ago.

How old are you, Frau Pleichin-
ger "
HAS Frau Won Wiesinger given her
age, your honor?"
Certainly"
Every well-then put me down As
two years younger than she!'-Der
Floh.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
LITTLE LAUGHS.
Hope for the Better.

Employer-Now. where have you
been all this time-at the matinee,
suppose? Come, confess.
Office Boy lin fear and trembling)-
Yes, sir, | was.
Employer-I'm glad to hear It, Per-
haps you've picked up new tune. I
was getting tired of that old one you
whistle. -Philadelphia Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

First politician-Did you see that
Wesaker has been announced to dis
cuss few public questions from a
high moral plane?
Second politician-Yes. l wonder
what the old geezer is sore about?-
indianapolis Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
Wanted Something Gradual.

Politician-Tell me the best way to
get out of politics.
Friend-Turn Prohibitionist
Politician-0h, that's too sudden: I
want TO go out gradually.-Smart SCI.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
t. d. "-... .n. f,s
English Sovereign an Unpopular Coin.

English Sovereign an Unpopular Coin.
The sovereign has never been a pop
ular coin in India. Among the wealth.
Ter natives who have not yet learned
to trust the yellow metal as currency.
the idea of turning sovereign into Or
naments, such as earrings and brooch
es, has recently become fad.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19
What We NAV Soon Expect.

Mann-When will Graballiski's new
theater be ready for business.
Hattan-Very soon, think; he has
already advertised for bids for the
ticket-speculating privilege.-Brooklyn
Life.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

Glucose is now manufactured largely
from corn starch Its commercial value
lies In its use as an adulterant Of
cane and beet sugar.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

Kind Lady-Now If I give you this
dime, hope you will not spend it for
3trong drink.
Mr.. Walker Miles-Guess you don't
Yecor'nize me, ma'aEl.
Kind Lady-No, : co not. Who are
you?
Mr.. w. M.-Mrs. Nations brother.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

I am proud to say" remarked the
long-haired passenger, that l was
never intoxicated in my life
THAT strikes me, sah,' rejoined Col.
Booze Of Kentucky, las bein' rather
empty honor, sab"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1901-04-19

Miss Chasuble-Oh, yes. I always
deny myself in Lent. l give up cards.
music, light reading and modifying
conversations. What are you giving
up?
Mr.. Gayleigh-I think I'll give up
calling here during Lent.
Imperial press., 1901-09-21

strychnlne put upon each section. The peel end Is held with the hand and placed in the gopher hole. Better to have half orange in each runway then cover the space or hole up. Thirty-six fresh gopher mounds were dug open one morning and poisoned oranges placed in them. The next morning only two fresh mounds were found; these in turn were opened the runway found and poisoned oranges were placed in them, which ended the gopher workings in that two-acre plot for over three months. Tn another patch Of about half an acre. seventeen fresh mounds were found In one morn ing. each was opened and each run way was supplied with the half of an orange. The next morning not one mound was found and there has been no evidence of any gophers in the patch since.
 The philosophy of the success of the poisoned orange Is readily understood when it is explained that crystallized strychnine is soluble in the juice and that the gropher, in disposing of the orange, drinks the juice and that 1t Is down before he can eschew 1t. IEs- chew Is good.-Ed.1 Then again, the orange Is of such a size that he can not pack 1t away. hence he eats 1t. By s. NJ Woodbridge, in the California CultiyatOr
Imperial press., 1901-09-21
Stacking Straw With Alfalfa

More than twenty-five years ago we gathered from the Mark Lane Express the fact that in England they always stack straw with layers of freshly-cut grass, we'll salted, says the Colusa Sun. The grass need not lie in the field at all, but the straw will take up the moisture out of it and 1t will not heat or mold. We advocated trying this year in and year out. Hon. John Boggs tried it and practiced 1t when he had the alfalfa ready when the straw was being stacked. and it was perfect suc- cess. It brings the straw up to first class hay. All the aroma and strength of the hay that eyaporates in the cur ing is taken up by the straw. Farmers who have alfalfa to cut after harvest should make a practice of making layers of say four feet deep of straw and two feet deep of freshy-cut alfal- ia, and throw on salt liberally.-L. A. Herald.