davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Jester = "Old SQueezit has agreed
that after his death his body shall be
turned over to the university, in the
interests of science"
Jimson-"Interest OF science"
Jester-"Yes, all Squeezit's relatives
have insisted that he has no heart; the
doctors are going to find ut."-Ohlo
State Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
By- Products From Peat.

After many years of experimental la
Dor and at a heavy cost a company OF
Oldenburg, in Germany, has succeeded
in producing from peat coke the ex-
pense OF getting which is entirely Gov
cred by the value OF the by-products,
such as peat tar, methyic alcohol and
other residues. 1t is now proposed by
the English company which has acquir-
ed the patent to do the same in this
country.-London Daily Mail
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Squeesicks Now. my son takes
after his father. AS the twig is bent
SO is the tree inclined"
Phil Ossifer-'Yes, it would be a
good thing if few twigs 1 know had
had their backs broken at the start
off"-Ohio State Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR
LAUGHTER R-PRoVoKlNC STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.

An Exception - Art w. Business Dupli-
Gates Ayoided-BetweenF Friends-After
the Defalcation - Vengeful - Discour
aging Discovery-HeIpfu Child, Etc.
A fool and his money soon parted?
That may be the general rule,
But what of the grasping old miser?
He's surely one kind Of fool
Catholic Standard and Times.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

"I understand" said the reporter.
"that the defaulter's method was very
simple"
"Very!' said the bank official, with a
sigh. "He just took the money!
Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Snarley-"Is he a vengeful manT'
Yow-"Vengeful? l should say yes.
He wrote me a letter regarding the
ten 1 owe him, and there was two
cents due Gp the letter. Syracuse
Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Caller-"My! what Il big girl you're
getting to be. Youl soon be able to
help your mother about the house."
Ethel-"Oh,I do that already. When
ever she says, For goodness sake,
get out of my way do it,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Teaching n Kid.

Papa" said Sammy Snaggs, "this
story says that the mutineers were put
in irons"
Eyes, Sammy"
But, papaF'
"Well, Sammy"
"Why do they iron prisoners
''To fake the starch out of them
Sammy."-Pittsburg Chronicle Tele'
graph.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Mae-"What do you think he did
when l refused him?"
Florence-"oh, 1 can't imagine. He
was certainly too dignified to dance a
jig or anything like that.'-puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Duplicates Avoided.

He-"This is the third letter of re-
fusal 1 have received from you"
She-"What are you complaining Of?
No two of them are alike. Indian
apolis Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Apisaprceable Characteristic.

Katharine-"I detest that Mr.. Tiff
fngton."
Margaret-"Why, Katharine"
Katharine-"Oh, he's the kind Of
man who always calls when you are
expecting somebody else who doesn't
come."-Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Not Quite Successful.

"And 1 suppose you call yourself Il
successful newspaper MANI" said the
editor, with a curl of the lip.
"Well, hardly" said the writer. Il
haven't been paid for the last three
weeks work yet" = Yonkers States
man,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Disseminating DisooverY.

"I understand she loved him at first"
'Yes, that was before"
Before what?"
Before she found out that she had
mistaken him for his rich cousin''-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Eis Great Need. .

Beggar-@You very kindly gave me q
pair of your trousers yesterday, sir
and now L have something else to ask
for''
Corpulent Benefactor-"Well, what
is it?"
Beggar-"A square meal, so that .
can wear them. ."-Tit-B Bits.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

She-"I wonder if there ever was
such person as the foolkiller?'
He Don't ask such nonsenslcal
questions. How do you suppose 1
know:"
She (sweetly)-"Of course, dear, [
know you never met him" m."-Philadel-
phia Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

On the island OF Alaska, 50 miles west
OF juneau, large deposit OF gypsum has
been disco ired.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

That author sued me-"
"What forT
"He claims that his portraitI painted
made the sale of his books fall off"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

The Garfield Headache Powders e-e made
from herbs they cure headaches and a-e
guaranteed harmless and effective.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Chicago rules that noisy cows and
chickens are no longer to be tolerated
in the residence parts of the city.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
Sold by Druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best.

Nearly $4,000 tons OF corks are need
ed Tor the bottled beer and aerated wat
ers consumed annually in Britain.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

July is month OF thunoerstorms in
Hungary. LAST July 80 persons and
2So sheep were killed by lightning.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Dresden is to have in 1908, city
exhibition" at which all German towns
OF over $4,000 inhabitants are to be
represented.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

A scientist says the weight OF the air
which encircles the earth is equal to
that OF $4,000 cubes OF copper, each
1908 yards square.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Dyspepsia is the bane OF tho human sys-
TEN. Protect yourself against its ravages
by the use of Beeman's repsin Gum.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Mr.. Wanterby-"Nonsen Why
should we have burglar alarms in the
house? We have nothing worth steal
ing"
Mrs. Wanterby-"I know, dear, but
It will make the neighbors think we
have."-Philadelph Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Railways use up over 1000, 600 tons
OF steel a year, almost half the world
product
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Forty-fve aliiSators in a Milwaukee
how disd C: pneumonia one day recent
y.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Two men in Middlesboro, Ky, one
minus the right foot and the other the
left, economic by buying one pair OF
shoes.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29
The Best rrescrintion for ChIIls

and Fever is bottle Of GROVES TAsTBLgss
CHILL Tonic 1t is simply iron and quinine in
q tasteles5 form. No cure-no pay. Price 50c.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

If your druggist cannot supply you, send
us 81 90 and we will express a bottle to you
all charges prepaid. Be sure and give us
your nearest express office.
&c. AVER Co., Lowell, Mass.
Send for our beautiful illustrated book on
The Hair. Free.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

PUTNAM FADELEss DYE produces the fast
est and brightest coors OF any known dye
stuff. Sold by all druggists.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

Piso's Cure Ia he best medicine we ever uaed
for all affections of throat ani lungs Wa,
U. ENDsLEY, Vanburen, Ind, Fec. 10, 1900
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-04-29

I" ~ G - $% & @ Pay
VERMsFUCE a$5 %: s. s5s::%, Fissaas; ne;
Evening star., 1901-06-27
MILITARY SERVICE ABSURD.
M. Jean De Bloch Comments O
MOdern Warfare


An interesting paper, written by Jean de
Bloch, the Russian councillor Of state and
member of the Russian ministry Of finances,
on the lessons of the Transvaal war, was
read at the United Service Institution in
London yesterday.
M. de Bloch declared the South African
war had proved that military service as
practiced today is absurd and that the sac
rifice made on the continent to support con-
scription is unnecessary. The war shows
that the theatrical spectacles called ma
neuvers are In no way related to real war
fare. One Of the most remarkable features
Is the constant impossibility Of determin-
ing the enemy's position.
This Is not attributable to British defec-
tive reconnaissance, but to the new condi-
tions Of war. 1t was not mistakes made by
the British nor the qualities of the Beers,
who had shown an entire lack Of rational
strategy and tactics, which produced the
results seen, but smokeleSs powder and
long-range, quick-firing rifles. which in
volved dispersion and invisbility to a de-
gree unheard Of formerly and to the possi-
bility OF providing rihemen with a larger
number of cartridges.
The action of artillery in South Africa
had been, generally, absolutely contempt
BILE against an intrenched enemy.
The main lesson, continued Councillor De
Bloch, is that a successful outcome of a
war OF aggression cannot be hoped for
against any great power; still less against
allied powers. No results can be obtained
mad been impossible to wage war decisive
Evening star., 1901-06-27
MEN ADDED
TO a'n POLICE
FORCE MADE TODAY.
Fifteen Promoted From Class One to
Class. Two-The CHIEF.
RecOmme ndati0ns.

The Commissioners, acting upon the rec
ommendation of Major Sylvester, today ap-
pointed eighteen men to become members
of the police force next Monday and pro-
NOTED fifteen members from the first to the
second class. Those whe were fortunate
enough to pass the examination and secure
the appointments are: Thos. T. Dollhouse.
71S street northwest; Clarence S. Creel,
Fort Monroe, Va; William H. Spearing,
1904 9th street northwest Jefferson A.
Thomas, 1929 New Jersey avenue north
west; Harry Selby. 116 c street northwest;
Arthur L. Lucas 1921 9th street southwest
John T. Owens, 1413 2Sth street northwest
Thos. F. Sweeney, 1882 Brightwood avenue
northwest; James E. Hail. 1923 c street
southeast; Timothy ]. Cullinane, St. Eliza
beth; Alfred o. Allen. ST. Elizabeth; Jos. l..
Farmer ST. ElZab beth; William E. King.
1016 | street southeast; Harry. p Garratt,
zoos G street southeast; Charles G. Baston,
o0S Florida avenue northwest: Gustave
Lauten, 1917 3.}d street northwest; Otis J.
Trenis, Tenleytown, d. c., and Harry E.
Honabach, 1900 11th street northwest.
The officers of the first class who received
the promotions are w. w. Andrews. G. w.
Neale, l. II. Ward. Anthony Fennelly, Dan
lei Connor, II. r. Warren, E. F. Jack, j. T.
Kennedy, Is. =. Batson, ]. E. Sears, S. D.
Edwards, II. G.. Hoaglanu L. c.. Trumbo,
j. j. O'Bren and T. S. Wheeler
Those who received the appointments
were measured at headquarters today for
their uniforms.
Evening star., 1901-06-27
SEVERE STORM AROUND PITTsBURG.
At Homestead There Were Several
Casualties From Lightning

A dispatch from Pittsburg. Pa. last
night says: The storm which struck Pitts
burg and vicinity this afternoon was short
In duration but terrible in power and dis
astrous in effect. The lightning and thun-
der was practically continuous for about
thirty minutes, the wind attained veloc-
ity OF thirty miles an hour and 46 inches
Of rain fell. In two minutes of time Is of
an inch of water fell. which would repre-
sent three inches an hour. The tempera-
ture fell twenty-four degrees within an
hour One woman was killed instantly by
lightning and several other persons may
die from the same cause. NumberIess
houses and churches were struck by light
ming, and several picnic parties were panic
stricken.
In the city proper no fatalities are re-
ported, but in Homestead Mrs. Alice Les
ter, aged twenty-four, was struck by
lightning and instantly killed. Her hus-
| band Is steel worker employed at New
Castle. Pa Miss Grace Jackson. aged
| pineteen, Of Homestead, was struck and
her recovery Is doubtful. Richard Rucker,
also of Homestead. was frightfully burned
| by the electrical fluid and will hardly re-
| cover. Rev. John Sauton and Clay Hands
| were badly shocked, but will recover.
The waters rushed down the hills around
Homestead and literally engulfed the town.
The extent OF damage done there is the
| worst in the history of the town. and will
reach many thousands of dollars in prop
| erty loss. Besides the numerous houses
| that were partially wrecked, four steel
| bridges of the Monongahela street railway
were washed out. Dozens of washouts oc-
| CURED between Pittsburg and Hazlewood,
| and street car travel was suspended for
over an hour.
At South Avenue Park, at the end of
| the Suburban Traction Company's line, a
| picnic party, composed of 1900 persons,
| 100 Of whom were children, gathered in the
| dancing pavilion for shelter from the
| storm. Lightning struck a tree within
| eight feet of the pavilion and set fire to
| the structure. The picnickers were panic
| stricken, women tainted. children screamed
and even the men in the party gave way
\ to their fright Fortunately, the heavy
| rain extinguished the flames, and although
| large number Of the party were more or
less hurt in the panic, nobody was seriously
| injured. >
similar panic ensued at st. Joseph's
parochial school on Mount Olivet, where
Evening star., 1901-06-27
KING EDWARD OUR FRIEND.
MIR. Henderson Sure of 1t After Tall
ing to Him.

E"E' hchuersOn sure OF 1t After Talk.
ing to Him.
David B. Henderson, ex-speaker of the
United States House of Representatives,
In an interview in London last night said:
L have never enjoyed a more agreeable
half-hour interview than the one 1 had
with King Edward yesterday. He was per-
fectly frank and agreeable and in accord
with American progress He looks forward
to even more cordial relations than now
exist between the English-speaking ma
tions. America may depend upon the fact
that she has no more cordial friend in the
world than King Edward
while the details of our conversation
may not be repeated 1 can assure nv
American friends that England may be de-
pended upon in any ordinary controversy
which may arise between the United States
and the rest of the world"
Representative Charles W. Gillet of New
York who accompanied Mr.. Henderson,
said:
I'VE go to Skibo Castle to visit the Car
negies at the end Of the week, and from
there We go to the continent. We expect
to return to America in September. We
have been everywhere treated with the
greatest kindness, and I can say that the
cordiality extended to Mr.. Henderson and
myself while we have been in England has
exceeded anything we could have antici-
pated.'
Evening star., 1901-06-27

commencement co exercises were being held.
Inc nall was filled with children and their
parents when lightning struck the build
ing, tearing a portion Of the roof away.
Pandemonium reigned for time.
All through the south and west ends the
storm carried destruction with it. Phil
lips glass house at 10th and Mary streets
had Its 1,OOO-pound sheet roof picked up
bodily and carried across the street. the
south Side Presbyterian Church was
struck by lightning, and numerous houses
sunered the same fate. Sarah street from
E9th TO goth was filled with water as also
was Arlington avenue to Amanda avenue
hnoxViile. Castle Shannon tunnel on the
beltznoover side caved in and traffic was
suspended for the day. A heavy landslide
at "a street south side covered the tracks
or the Pittsburg, Virginia and Charleston
railroad with mud.
Evening star., 1901-06-27

Charles Lancaster, young colored man.
who says his home is at Washington
Grove. Montgomery county, Nd. came to
this city early last night and called at the
sixth precinct station to ask that he be
sent to hospital. He said he had been as
saulted at Washington Grove by another
young colored man. whose name he gave.
Lancaster went to the Casualty Hospital
where the doctors found he was suffering
from a severe fracture Of the skull. which
rendered his condition critical. Lancaster
stated that he had been hit with stone
Today the doctors reported that the pa
tient was holding his own, although he was
by no means out Of danger, Capt Board
man notified the Montgomery county off,
cials Of the affair today.
Evening star., 1901-06-27
POULTRY AND PIGEONS.
Features of the Show to He Held Next
November.

A meeting Of those interested in poultry.
pigeons and Belgian hares was held last
evening at 1864 32d street to make further
plans for a show to be held the week Of No
vember 10, at Masonic Temple, 9th and F
streets northwest. 1t was decided to change
the name of the organization to the Wash
ington Poultry. Pigeon. and Belgian Hare
Association. Committees were appointed
to arrange a premium list for the various
classes of pet stock which 1t is proposed TO
exhibit. Messrs. John M. Allen and A L.
Gardner were appointed to arrange the
poultry list; Messrs. John Bardroff and E.
c. Duffy, the pigeon list. and Messrs. Payne
and Bell the list for the Belgian hares.
The premium list for the show, as soon
as arranged. will be published and dis
tributed all over the eastern section Of the
country. Active correspondence has COM
menced with leading fancfers. and from
present indications the number of exhibits
will be more than enough to fill the hall
Evening star., 1901-06-27
FOR A NATIONAL UNIVERSITY.
Proposition to Erect Here a NOn-GOv
ernmental Institution.

A dispatch from Chicago last night says.
The committee Of fifteen. Of which Presl
dent Harper Of Chicago University is chair
man, having under consideration the Ques-
ton of whether it is advisable to have a
great national university, has completed
it's work, and July will make it's report
to the National Educational Association at
Detroit The report, which is quite long,
announces that at one Of it's earlier meet
frgs the committee adopted the following
declarations:
1T has been and Is one of the recog-
nized functions. of the federal govern
ment to encourage and aid, but not to
control, the educational instrumentalities
of the country. No one of the bills hereto
fore brought before Congress to provide
for the incorporation of national univer-
sity at Washington commends itself to the
Judgment Of this committee as a practi-
cable measure. The government is not
called upon to maintain at the capital a
university in the ordinary sense OF the
term
After discussing at length the various
questions that enter into the erection of
a national educational institution, the re-
port says:
1.-THE committee have been advised of
a plan for non-governmental institution
at Washington, which may be able to sup
ply all that Is desired. This plan Is the
outcome Of action taken by the Wash
ington Academy of Sciences and by the
George Washington Memorial Association.
Both organizations have agreed to Coop
crate to found an institution in the city
Of Washington a memorial to George
Washington which shall be maintained to
promote the advanced study Of the sciences
and the liberal arts. Concerning the pro-
posed institution 1t is assumed that:
IL That 1t will be Independent of gov
ernment support or control, as it will also
be independent Of the support or control
of existing educational institutions.
"2 That its object will be: (a) to
facilitate the use of the scientific and
other resources of the government for re-
ties colleges and individuals in securing
to properly qualified persons opportunities
for advanced study and research now OBJ
tainable only in a limited extent In Wash
ington and not all elsewhere.
"8 That its oversight and control will
be in the hands Of trustees and officers
representing the educational experience
and ideal Of the existing institutions for
higher education"
The report announces that the commit
tee, in conclusion. has adopted a resolu-
tion to the effect that the plan Is approved
for a non-governmental Institution known
as the Washington Memorial Institution, to
be maintained in Washington, D. c., for
the purpose of promoting the study Of
science and the liberal arts at the national
capital, and Of exercising oversight Of the
advanced studies Of duly qualified students
in the governmental laboratories and col
lections.
Evening star., 1901-06-27
Representative Elected.

Columbia Nodge. No. 1. Order Of Sons of
Hermann. assembled in general meeting
June %. unanimously elected its ex-
president and trustee, Franz L. Schmidt
Of 1916 street northwest. as their repre-
sentative to the national convention of
the Sons of Hermann. to be held at San
Antonio, Tex, in September Of this year.
The Order of the Sons of Hermann, or
ganized in 1S40 in New York city. Is the
oldest German order In this country. 1t
extends almost over all the states of the
Union and has now a membership of about
10000, all Of German extraction.
Evening star., 1901-06-27
Sons of Americn Elect omcer.

Washington Camp, No. 8. Patriotic Order
Sons Of America, has elected the following
officers for the ensuing term: Past presi-
dent, Albert e. Gorham: president, J. r.
Johnston; vice president, T. L. Farley;
master of forms, ]. c. Lefevre; conductor,
recording secretary, c. H. Brattan; as
sistant recording secretary. r. H. Quesen-
berry; financial secretary. Frank Meyer;
treasurer, G. G. Pendleton: guard, w. d.
Jones; right sentinel, H. Could left senti-
mel, j. Robb; trustee, Albert e. Gorham;
chaplain G. G. Gray.
Evening star., 1901-06-27
METAL TRADE WORKERS.
movement to Consolidate Them in One
Federation.


A conference is in progress this after
noon which has for it's ultimate purpose
project to bring together in a single or
ganization all the metal workers in the
United States and Canada. The gentlemen
who are considering this subject are
Messrs. Samuel Gompers, president Of the
American Federation Of Labor; James
O'Connell, president of the International
Association Of Machinists; John Mulhol-
land, president Of the Allied Metal Mechan-
les, and E. J. Lynch. president of the
Metal Polishers and Brass Workers.
The proposed organization will, 1t Is un-
derstood have a membership of about
100000 men and will be known as the Ma
tional Metal Trades Federation. 1t is ex-
pected that the movement will be put into
practical shape at a meeting to be held in
this city July % next, when representatives
OF all the organizations above mentioned
will meet to consider a constitution and
bylaws
Evening star., 1901-06-27
ADMIRAL sCHLEY ON WAR MEDALS
Thfnks Events Rather Than Indi.
viduals Should He the Theme.

Think Events Rather Than Indi-
vfduals Should he the Theme.
Admiral Schley. in thanking the Glouces-
ter naval reserve command of Brooklyn,
New York. for electing him an honorary
member Of the organization. says in a let
ter, in referring to war medals:
Touching the matter Of your reference
to a medal, have always believed that
nations ought of right to perpetuate the
great events Of their history rather than
those OF the lives Of participants and leave
to the judicial calm Of historic judgment
to perpetuate in bronze those who may
have honored themselves by deeds of hon.
"No, my maxim has been steadfastly
through nearly half century of service,
my country first, last and all the time,
after my love of God.
"Very sincerely yours, w. s. SCHLEY."
Evening star., 1901-06-27
The Ayres TrasedyIInou,rv

The grand jury was busily engaged in
considering the Bonine homicide case at
the city hall today. A number of wit
nesses were examined. including Miss Kate
Lawless, E. H. Clarle Samuel A. Clark.
Mrs. Ida Harris, Fred dIRutter and Richard
jerks. 1t is now thought at the district
attorneys office that the jury will not con-
clude consideration offthe lease until Mon
day evening.
Evening star., 1901-06-27
Harold M. Pitt Acuuitted.

Harold M. Pitt, manager of Evans & Co..
government contractors. who has been on
trial In Manila on charges of improperly
purchasing government stores, was acQuit-
ted. Four other purchasers OF commissary
stores were found guilty and flned 81 600
each.
Evening star., 1901-06-27

Gen Maxine Gomez sailed from Ha-
vana for New York yesterday by way of
Tampa, Fla, accompanied by the private
secretary of Gov. Gen. Wood. The purpose
of the generals visit to the United States,
II Is said is to confer with Thomas Estrada
Palma the former delegate in the United
States of the revolutionary government OF
Cuba.