The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-03-01


Clone struck Topeka's 'joints" today;
Nor will some duffer old and gray
Rise up to tell us how and why
The wind blows sech and sech way,
When February says goodby.
L'ENvOI
Princess. who charms my heart today
With laughter In your rOgulsh eye,
1T Will be March, then April, May,
When February says goodby.
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
'And now, darling. it only remains for
You to say which,
But at this moment the automobile,
which had reached the top ct the hill,
started down the other side with fright
full velocity.
The young man hastily applied the
brake.
1t failed to work.
He shut off the power.
1t was too late.
The maddened machine raced down the
steep grade.
At the foot Of the incline there was
sharp turn to the left.
Here the automobile left the turnpike
and ran down the embankment, throw
ing the young couple out and landing
them in big pile Of sand.
Never mind. darling" exclaimed the
youth, who, with hat gone, collar loose
at one end, and coat ripped up the back,
was presently engaged in digging sand
out of the hysterical maiden's mouth,
this is one time that the course of: true
love ran smooth, even if it did get bit
Of jolt at the end Of the rum"
Cyrus Winterbottom," she said, half
an hour later, as they were journeying
toward home in farmers wagon, Il
believe you did the whole thing on puT-
pose SO you could have chance of saying
something smart
IF anyone should call this afternoon,
Mary, say that 1 am not WE'LL" said a
mistress to her newly-engaged servant.
I'm afraid | ate a little too much Of
that rich pudding for lunch, and it, or
S something else, has brought on a severe
A few minutes later the mistress,
from her room near the head of the
stairs, heard Mary say to two aristo-
cratic ladies' who had called for the first
time: "Yes'm, Mrs. Browne is at home.
but she ate so much pudding for lunch
she had to go to .'-Tit-Bits.
Judge Tyrell had been postmaster. chief
marshal and high constable, and it was
natural that he should close his official
career as judge of the police court of
New Jerseys capital city, Trenton.
One day two boys were arraigned on
charges of disorderly conduct, and his
honor seriously and solemnly read the
complaint. thus:
Tommy Brown, We be charged wild
disord'ly conduc', in tibet We did upon TIL
day an, tn years I'm goin' to say OBJ
struct the public highways O. tn CITY o.
Trenton, to-wit: The same do be Bond
street. by then and there. We did obstruct
said highways, by sticl<in' yer fingers to
yer nose an We did use other loud and
oft t.1st lansnage j., How do We plead?
charge
Stan mp, Patrick Mullen, till I
..'Ye be- standin' charged wild great
crlme: Onicer Mulligan charges We wild
strlkin. Mike Flarahty wild a concealed
"Sot guilty? Y STAN st 'e Convicted o, the
CHARGE Then his honor added: The
two O yez go home now an eff I git tn
chance agin' it's to tn reform school We
an tn two O. yez 20. Mind that now"
New York Evening Sun.
Mora, l can't get into the parlor."
Sure, it's meself knows that, and yer
won't won't with the kay in me pocket"
go in if / do?" "Certainly W Wiiil ne
',''rhen yez don't get the kay" "Open
the door Immediately! What do YOU
mean!' Sure, it's by your orders"
MY orders?" "Yis. Yez said yesterday,
Don't let me come downstairs in the
mornin and see any dust: on the parlor
pocket, and says I, Then she won't .
Buffalo Enquirer.
The stage was rolling along the can
yon trail when suddenly the horses
reared back on their launches as a lone
highwayman with Winchester appeared
on the scene.
Step out of the hcarse, gentlemen, and
hands up!' he ordered.
One by one they climbed out, with ele-
waited hands. The highwayman relieved
the party and several times was forced
to remind one nervous little man to keep
his hand from his pocket.
hats the matter with you?" he
finally roarcd. You make another move
you"'
please let me-" pleaded the little man,
as his hand again Slid toward his pocket.
please let you?' roared the desperate.
PLEASE let you perforate me? You're
imposing n,,ts on my generosity. sonny. Look
from that pocket or by the eternal"'-
But it won't hurt your protested the
little man. lit won't hurt you at all!
S s: Just as you are now and keep your
rlne leVeled. There! that's it!'
And while the highwayman was re-
covering from his astonishment the little
man: had flashed his kodak and :snappetl
the Observation-Disclosures Sun. : !. :. -,
-" --:O:- ::
Senator Beveridge tells a story about
an Indiana lawyer who was something
of awag. Leaving his office one. after
noon. this man stopped in a restaurant
and took drink Of whisky On the car
he met n prohibition friend.
'l'have quit drinking and l feel splen-
did, remarked the lawyer.
Quit drinking?" queried the prohibi-
ZIONIST, seeming the liquor on the law
yer's breath. How long since?'
The lawyer took out his watch and
looked ut it. Three minutes ago. he
replied.
The colonel occasionally broke forth in
language not exactly suited to the draw
ing room. The colonel was we'll on in
the tifties and had not married. Not
that he couldn't. he was wont to ex-
plain. but because so few women struck
his fancy.
One evening the colonel attended a lit
tie at home, and taking the hostess,
very dear friend of his. aside. poured
into her ear the story of his rejection by
charming young woman whom he had
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