The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-08-09
r.. shook his head slightly, but did not

gu are discharged. Why don't you
Izgoy asked the lawyer. .
empty, and the accused. leaning forward,
Whispered to his defender:'e =.
- can't leave the dock until all the
witnesses against me are gone.
"Why?"' asked the man of:1aw.
BECAUSE Of the trousers" answered
Most certainly. do not::' said the So
licitor. What about the trousers?''
Only this, strive got them on!'-
London Answers.
md R&et01 w5 Ssh,. 3ot1i hin. SGFg2gs thu
thlnk little soap and water will do him
as much good as anything Mrs. Mu,-
doon-"Yis, doctor: an will OF give t.
thim befoor or afther his males ?'-Glas-
gov Evening Times.
Mark Twain tells thus the story of his
first great London banquet. ut which.
Fly the way, there were 500 or 900
tguests. He admits that. not having
somewhat lonesome. The lord mayor.
or somebody, read out list of the chief
guests before we began to eat. When
ne came to prominent names the other
guests would applaud. found the man
next me rather a good talker: just as
was tremendous clapping of hands. l
mad hardly ever heard sucn applause be-
Tlore. Strengthened up and set to clap
ping with the rest. and I noticed good
many people round about me hiking their
attention on me- and some of them lanyh-
ing in a friendly and encouraging way.
| moved about in my chair and clapped
lo"d !W.t thar \ f yer .s,o, +,o ,,+,
on my right.
Samuel Clemens, better known in
/, II stopped clapping. The life seemed
tx in all my days"
Tuner-"Mrs. Wilkins left word that
should call and repair your piano." Mr..
Wilkins-.",What's the matter with it?'
broken.'' Mr.. Wilkins (contidentiaily)--
look, here's half a souvenir. Break
the rest Of 'em."-Fun.
A good story is told of one of the dig
nitaries of the Scottish church. Before
he became known to fame he was min
lister Of a remote parish in Perthshirc.
and was not considered particularly at
tractivc preacher. At his suggestion e.
transcpt of his church, and these had the
seating accommodation. One day. after
the alterations had been effected. he Wis
tied the church to see how it looked.
What do YOU think of the improve
improvements" exclaimed John. in
disdain; they're no improvements at a..
Whaur are We goin' to put the folk?'
"Oh,' said the minister, I'VE have
abundance Of room. John: considering the
size of the congregation
That's A. very weel the noo.' retortcd
the beadle; but what will we do when
we get a popular menister: '-I1t-B
Kind friend. glancing over summer re-
sort news: Dear. dear, either Mrs. Get
here is dead or she has left Mosquito-
hurst-by-the-Sea Here's a column Of
stuff from the place and her name is
mentioned only twentyone times. New
York Evening Sun.
.They tell me that Boston has the
most polite man in the country said a
merchant yesterday. He was run into
ping his hat, said: If l ran into you,
beg your pardon, II you ran into me-
don't mention it, But l have a man
that is daisy. He is our agent in a
northern town. and for some reason or
other We failed to remit to him last
month. Yesterday he wrote: Pardon
me for the intrusion. but for fear you
may think YOU have forwarded my usual
remittance and are wondering why do
not acknowledge receipt. l humbly beg
to. a2prise yru that have not received
it" Now that man got his money by re-
turn mail. '--1ndianapolis News.
The new telephone editor is a humor
ist.'
"Wen:"
He heads an account Of the Canniba
islanders eating the German scientists,
Trouble in Their Midst "-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
. Thoroughly British Hicks-"Did you
ever see anyone so uncompromlsingly
English as Perkins:" Wicks- mo, and
l never saw anyone with any prctension
to style make such a ridiculous breach of
good form as he did Yesterday. He APP
afternoon Hicks-''That's all right
from his standpoint 1t was after 6.
London time you know."-Catholic
, Standard and Times.
i, No Need for That.-"The doctor says
l must go away for change Of climate, -
said Mrs. Dukane. If that's all you
need,' replied Mr.. Dukane. stay right
here, and the change Of climate will come
, to you -Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph
--:o:-
Mr.. Pepprey-"For goodness sake!
What's to prevent us going on a vaca-
tion?''
' Mrs. Pepprey-"Well, there's the par
rot. We can't take it along
Mr.. Pepprey-"But Mrs. Nexdore says
she'll be glad to keep it for u.s.
: Mrs. Pepprey-"I suppose so. She
thinks it will tell her some Of our family
secrets. "-Philadelphia Press.
Il have heard that there are incorpo-
, rated cities in the West having only a
, house or two and A saloon.'
"Oh, plenty of them! Why, we ran
across one city with only one house and
Carnegie libraryv'-Town Topics.
-:o:-
: gentleman who is no longer young,
: and who never was handsome. asked his
sens child what he thought of him. The
boys parents were present. The young
ster made no reply.
well, so you won't tell me what you
| think of me? WHY won't yOu?'