The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-10-27
SUPERSTITION NOT DEAD
III STILL ABIDEs AND SWAPS THE
ACTIONS OF MANY PERSONS.
The Case of the Deacon and His Wife,
Wife-GoOd Work of Doctors.

They say that in this enlightened age
superstition is dead. But is it? There is
the deacon. for instance. He goes TO
church every Sunday. He sits in a front
pew. He is a shining light, pillar of the
church. He passes the contribution box.
Sometimes it is a collection for the heather.
that the missionaries may show these be-
nighted people the evil and folly Of their
ways. He is an iconoclast, a smasher of
idols, but there is one text not in his Bible.
1t reads: Consistency, thou art jewell
He is a devout believer in charms and
signs, if not in idols. He is even worse
than the heather. They believe in idols
because they don't know any better gods.
He believes in charms and signs that are
absurdities, for he is trying to serve God
and superstition. In his pocket the deacon
carries a last years horse chestnut to cure
the rheuma tism. and he has eel skin
tied around his ankle. with seven knots in
it, for the same purpose. On his watch
chain he wears four-leaf clover charm
for good luck, very good idea, in its way;
but, setting aside poesy and sentiment, not
Of great intrinsic value, except to the en-
terprising young lady who originated the
idea and thereby made money for herself,
so that q four-leaf clover may be said to
be lucky for her. When the deacon gets
warm you notice a sulphurous odor ema-
mating from his vicinity, although he is
a reverend man and should be above sus-
picion suggestive of the evil one In fact,
he is above this suspicion, for he wears
sulphur in his shoes, having heard that it
is good TO prevent the grip and such like
diseases. When the deacon takes out his
handkerchief the air becomes redOlent with
the odor of camphor. That is his favorite
perfume, because the odor of camphor, he
has been told, drives away contagion. Once
upon time he put red pepper in his stock
ings to keep his feet warm, but he thought
he had put his foot in it that time; il re-
minded him of the future which he hoped
to escape Some time later he soaked his
feet in kerosene oil to cure the chilblains.
That's why he limps. He never has chill
blains now-on his big toe-because he
hasn't any big toe left; the surgeon at
tended TO that. In his inside breast pocket
he carries "a hind foot taken from a rab-
bit killed in a country church yard at mid
night, when the moon was full, by cross
eyed, red-headed niger This is guar
anteed "to cure all ills. accomplish all good
purposes and fill lOng-felt want" The
deacOn's hat is punched full of holes, al
though it is new. not because he is a hot
headed man, but because he's a crank on
ventilation-in hats, as well as houses. He
thinks the church. for example, is not we'll
ventilated unless every window is wide
open and there's gale of wind blowing
through strong enough to run the organ,
without bellows, and to blow all the hymn
books to the sky. He does not wear sack
cloth and ashes for his sins, but he does
wear red flannel shirts for the rheuma-
tism. It's medicated flannel, he says, and
it must be red because there is efficacy in
that color.
BLUE AND RED GLASS.
Years ago he had all the windows in his
house glazed with blue glass because it
was said that that would cure or prevent
every disease in the whole list. Later the
panes that had not been broken out were
taken out and red glass put in. Thus the
atmosphere of sombre blue was replaced
by red of more cheerful aspect The red
glass cost a good deal to begin with but
it was supposed to save money in the end
because red glass makes a room look
warm whether it feels warm or not. Folks
seeing this furnace-like atmosphere natur-
! ally concluded that the room was warm
| even though they might be shiverng with
cold, and this saved fuel for the deacon
| But it didn't work in the kitchen; appear
! ances wouldn't make the kettle boil or
brOil the steak. On the table the cold
| water was served from the yellow glass
water bottle because water put in a yell
] low glass bottle and set in the sun be-
| comes cathartic, so says the deacon, and
! that is cheaper than castor oil or Epson
| salts, and much peasanter to take if it
| hasn't been kept too long. As for seidlitz
| powders, the deacon has no use for them
| They are too expensive and too nice The
| deacon's father, by the way, was one of
those strict disciplinarians who thought it
was a sin to use anaestheties to relieve
| suffering and pain, because, forsooth that
| is visitation by God, according to the
! old way of looking at 1t, divine punish
ment for mans iniquities. The deacon
has no love for doctors of medicine. any
| way. He says they are all humbugs: he
| wants something that is some good; that
| horse-chestnut, for example that he carries
! in his pocket, he knows has cured his rheu-
matism, and all the doctors in the world
| can't prove TO him that it hasn't Doctors
! he says, are dogmatic, but he's worse than
| dogmatic he is a Observation-Disclosures. To
argue with the deacon on the folly of his
charms is to argue with the wind. to lose
time and patience, and still leave him IN
convinced by the most convincing argu-
ments. It's like fighting a punching bag
which, though 1t is filled with wind, always
comes back at you when you hit it and
| sometimes comes back hard, though it
hasn't the science of boxing within it.
The deacon's wife laughs at the deacon's
whims, but she puts her faith In signs.
She's afraid to have thirteen sit down at
| the table, but whether she's most afraid
of death or that there will not be enough
to go around is question difficult of solu-
! ton. She wont so under a ladder because
her plans will be upset. in consequence of
| this unlucky move, although the greatest
danger seems to be that a paint pot NAV
| be upset. She put a horseshoe over the
| door, for good luck. but luck was coy and
wouldn't be coaxed, for the very first per
son TO enter was the minister There WIS
nothing wrong about that, but the horse
shoe fell on the minister's head and nearly