The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1901-07-24
A Real Funny Story.

Old Tim Linkins, the barber ofWabash Ave-
nue., Chicago, is great student Of proverbial
philosophy, and he sometimes entertains his
customers, in the interval OF "scrape" or
haircut" by his apt applications Of the we'll
known proverbs Of the past to the conditions
or requirements Of the present. His regular
customers know his strong point, and many
man who apparently goes in for shave, is
really in search of rest in a cosy chair, and
has desire to hear Tim" hold forth pro-
verbally. One day last week stranger caIle
in for shave, and as he stretched himself
YEARLY in the chair, Tim prepared to lather
him. The man incidently remarked that he
had intended coming in earlier in the day but
had been prevented. "Well, it's better late
than never" said Tim, smilingly. "Not al
ways" replied the stranger, slowly. "How
about losing your pocketbook I never lost
one until yesterday-never did, but would
sooner have kept It. Now, why was it better
for me to lose It late than not at all? Tim
acknowledged that he was wrong and the man
continued Don't know what I would have
done in my predicament, only an old acquain-
tance OF mine on the Lake front let me have
twenty to 60 on with "Ah," Clipped in
friend indeed. mo, he isn't" snapped the
man who was being shaved. ''There you're
dead wrong again. How can a friend in need
be friend indeed? have good many friends
who are always in need and they are nuisance
to me Always on the borrow" Tim thought the
problem over in his mind and reluctantly ad-
mitted that the man was right. He had al
most made up his mind not to speak again
when the stranger continued, eyes sir, they
are nuisances. Why, one OF them fellows has
been calling on me for the past year and
threatens to get even with me some way if
do not loan him fifty dollars. He threatens
me at every visit" "Oh, wouldn't mind
:hat," replied Tim unconsciously, "you know
the old adage A barking dog never bites I"
There YOU are again." said the "shavee " as
he wiped little lather from the corner OF
his mouth. "Say, what do you know about
dogs, anyway, that you talk in such silly
strain Have you ever ventured to go too
close to barking dog,-and If you did, what
did he do to you Did you ever know bark
ing dog that didn't bite il he got the chance? >
Tim said he couldn't exactly call to mind any
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled the
claim in the proverb, and there was silence
for few minutes while his razor was gliding
over the mans face. Then the barber smiled
to himself as he bethought him of good joke.
II suppose" be said, as he applied the bay
rum, II suppose you don't believe in the bar
bers' proverb at all?'' whats that ?" asked
the stranger, rising. 1.-TWO heads are better
than one,'' answered Tim. 'Of course you
but know you would like to say they would
be bad for q man with the headache or
Nothing of the kind, put in the other, smil-
ing. Zone Of your proverbs, at least, is right.
1 happen to know that two. heads are better
than ONE" "Then you don't object to that
old adage ?" mot at all. 1t is dead right.
And would thank you very much if you have
any stray Lion heads at hand-those taken
from the Lion Coffee wrappers. My wife is
collecting them and she is about six shy Of
the number required to ct Lady's Gold
Watch. You see in this case 1.-TWO heads are
better than one, and twenty are better than
ten" "Just so," added Tim, cheerfully, "but
you see, my wife Is doing the same thing, and
expects premium in few weeks. So to her
also, two heads are better than one. "Well,
in that case,'' said the stranger, as he paid
Tim for the shave and prepared to depart,
"you had better tell your wife to do the same
as mine is doing Save up the Lion heads
until after September 1st next, when the new
Premium List is issued. Then if she sends
them to the Woolson Spice Co., Toledo, Ohio,
she can have her pick Of some very choice
rresents."