Barton County democrat., 1901-07-19
NEW ENGLAND LORD.


The story of the crazy-headed Lord"
Timothy Dexter, who is said to have reaped
. fortune by sending a cargo of warming
pans and Bibles to the West Indies, has been
told many times, yet never loses its inter-
est.
He was born plain Timothy Dexter, Janu-
ary, q, l747, in Maiden, Mass. But little
is known of his boyhood, and judging from
his after life, it is not probable that his early
traits of character were in any way worthy
of imitation. When a mere boy, he was ap-
rrenticed by his father to leather dresser.
Having learned the trade, he was married at
an early age to Elizabeth, daughter of John
Lord and widow of Benjamin rockingham.
His wife was nine years older than himself,
and brought him considerable property, the
bulk of which she inherited from her first
husband. and to which she added consider
able by keeping a huckster's stand for sew
eral years.
This was the foundation of Dexter's for
tune. It gave him the control of several
thousand dollars in specie, which he invested
In the deprecated continental currency OF
the day, and when Hamilton's funding
scheme went into operation, realized the par
value of his investment.
full rein to his illimits bic vanity, egotism and
love of display. Buying house and ten
scres of land, he had the house fitted up in
accordance with his ideas of high art and his
| own Importance, and the grounds laid out
with fruit, flowers and shrubbery, in sup
| posed imitation of European style. Minarets
| were placed on the roof of the house, with
heavy columns in front, surmountedby stat
ues of distinguished men. Prominent among
| these was his own figure, surmounted with
| the modest inscription:
'I am the first in the east, the first in the
west, and the greatest philosopher in the
| western world"
| Gov. Hancock and Thomas Russell, noted
merchant, were two of his neighbors who
| were conspicuous in public and private life,
| envy of whom and desire to outshine them
in the eyes of the world, seem to have been
| predominant motives in his life. Thus in
| spired, he sent to France for expensive fur
niture and costly works of art, with many
| elegantly bound books, which, however, he
| never read.
Mistaking notoriety for fame, and deter
mined to be the talk of the country, he now
| assumed the title of Cord" and, by libera,
use of money, caused himself TO be generally
addressed by it, until ne came to be known,
| ard has gone down in history Lord Tim
othy Dexter.
He bought fine horses and coach, OF
which he painted coat-of- arms taken
from a book of heraldry, all in imitation oi
European lords. In his garden he had q
tomb built, and mahogany coffin made
with silver handles and expensive lining
which he kept on exhibition, and in which
he announced his purpose to be buried.
Meanwhile, his days were largely spent il
drunkenness and his nights in debauchery
When sober, he was constantly devising hon
he might do some startling thing, for tts
sake of adding to his notoriety. At one ti:r'
ne had mock funeral, and is said to hav'
caned his wife severely after the ceremonie
were closed, because she did not shed Al
many tears as he thought becoming.
He next bought country seat in Chester
N H., assumed the title of t'lord of Chester,
and spent much money in making show.
At one time he was sent to the county jai
for attempting to shoot man in drunkel
| frolic, and rode thither in his coach, boastiii,
that no one else had ever been carried t.
Jail in that style. He used to walk through
the street wearing a cooked hat and lon
coat, carrying a cane, and followed by
black dog without any hair.
Determined to give the world anotha
; proof of his greatness, he proceeded to writ
book, which he called "Pickle for tn
Knowing Ones"
1t was thin volume, of mingled sense AM
nonsense, decidedly peculiar in its spellin
and use of capitals, and entirely devoid c
punctuation marks. In a second edition
however, he placed a page of punctuatio
c marks at the close of the book, with thi
| note:
.Mister printer the Moving ones complain
J, of my book the first edition had no stops
,, | put in A Nuf here and they may pepper an
; solt it they pleese."
Thousands of copies of this book wer
printed and given away, with view to e,
tending its notoriety. The stories of hi
improbable commercial ventures rest solel
upon the authority of this book-"How Di
r Dexter Make his Money 'ye Says
He then goes on to tell, in confused an
r. extravagant way, these wild and improbab
G stories which have since been accepted q
r truth, when in fact they would do credit t
r. the author of "Gulliver's Travels or "Baro
). Munchausen.'
9 'I Dreamed of warming pans three nit.
:. that thay would doue in the west inges e
no more than fortey two thousand put thel
is in nine vessels for different ports that tue
y good hold cleared sevinty nine per sent tt
le pans they made yous of them for coukir
n very good messes for couking blessed goo
in Deade missey gat nice handel"
In similar style, he tells how he bougl
q, 900 Bibles, at Al cents apiece, and sci
>, them to the same country, clearing lit
:, over 100 per cent. on his investment.
The absurdity of these stories is appare,
= upon investigation. Regarding the warmil
pans, it may be said that no hardware w
made in America at that date, and the qua
DO tity mentioned, if brought from Great Bri
ne ain, would have cost $l5O, 600 in hard none
d. while Dexter's entire fortune after b
,e death was inventoried at a little over So!
is 600. The importation and expectation wou
al have taken several months-would, of u