The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-12-28
Mr.. DOOLEY ON
IMMIGRATION

Copyright, 1901, by Robert Howard
Russel)
well. [ see Congress has got to
wurruk again" said Mr.. Dooley.
The Lord save US firm HARM" said
Mr.. Hennessy.
Yes, sir" said Mr.. Dooley, Con
gress has got to wurruk again, an
NANNY things that seems important to
a Congressman'u be brought up befure
thin. It's sthrange that what's a big
thing to a man in Wash'ntOn, Hinnissy,
don't seem much account to me. Div
Vie a bit do I care whether they dig tn
Nicaragoon Canal or cross tn Isthmus
in balloon. or whether tn Monroe
docthrine is enforced or whether IL
amt, or whether tn thrusts is abolish
ed as Teddy Rosenfelt wud like to have
thin or encouraged to go on with their
neefaryous but magnificent enther-
prises- as tn Prisidint wud like, or
whether tn water is poured into tn
bitches TO reclaim tn arid lands iv tn
West, or tn money FIR thin to fertilize
tn arid pocket-books iv tn conthrac-
tors, or whether tn Injun is threated
like a dapindant an miserable thribes-
man Sr like a free an indapindant dog,
or whether we restore thT merchant
marine to tn ocean or whether we lave
it to restore itsilf. None of these here
questions INTERESTS me, an be me
name you, an be you l name ivrybody
What we want to know is, ARE we
goin" TO have coal enough in tn bod
whin tn cold snap comes; will tn
pIumbin' hold out, an will tn job last.
Congress. Hinnissy. thinks it is sail
in tn ship iv state, but that ship iv
state is carryin' no Storage passengers
Tn raIe ship iv state is in tn domestic
thrade an is conveyin' provisions, dye
mind.
But they'se wan question that Con-
gress is gOin to take up that you an
me are inthirely interested in. AS a
pilgrim father that missed tn frs
boats, | must raise me clarone voice
agin tn invasion iv this fair land be
tn paupers an arnychists iv effete Eu-
rope Ye bet I must-because I'm here
ed high on tn stern an rOckbound
coast In Thin days, America was tn
refuge iv tn oppressed iV all tn
wurruld. They could come over here
an do a good job iv oppressin' thin
silves. AS l told We l come a little late,
TIL Rosenfelts an tn Lodges bate me
at Taste be a boat length an be tn
time [ got here they was stern rock
bound thimsives. SO I got a glOryous
rayciption as soon as l was towed off
the rocks. TIL stars an sthripes whis-
pered a welcome in tn breeze an
shovel was thrust into me hand an l
was pushed into a sthTeet eNcyvatin'
as though Ia been born here. TIL pill
grim father VINO bossed tn JOB was
fine OF puritan be tn name iv Shaugh-
messy. who come over in tn MaynoWeT
about tn time IL tn potato rot in WeE-
ford. an he made me think they was a
hole in tn brea EWat Their ~ tn haven ~
refuge an some iv tn wash iv tn seas
iy opprisf0n had got through. lie was
q stern an rockbouud lad himself, but
I was q good hand at loose stones an
wan day-but I'll tell We about that an
other time Anyhow, ] was rayceived
with open ar-arms that sometimes in
ded in clinch.
7 was afraid 1 wasn't goin' to assim-
Hate WITH Tn earlNtT pNSTlln idjL'IS
an tn instichoochions " tn country,
but I soon found that a long swing ~
tn pick made me as good as another
man an 1t didn't require a gr-reat in
tellect. or sometimes amy at all, to
vote tn dimmycrat ticket an befure l
was here a month. I felt enough like
native born American 10 burn wilton. !
Wanst in a while a mob IL iatilligint .
whose GRANDPA theirs had bate
me to tn dock wud take a shy at me
Pathrick's Day procession or burn
down wan iv me churches. but they got
tired * that befure long; twas too
much like wurruk.
But as I tell ye, Hinn!ssey. It's diff
rent now. I don't know why tbs diff
rent but it's different. It's time we put ,
our back again tn open dure an keep
out tn savage horde. If that cousin "
ye-ers expects 10 cross. he'd betther tear
f'r tn ship. In a few minyites tn Gates'u
be down an whin tn oppressed wuTuld ,
comes hikin' acrost TO tn haven iv ref /
uge. they'd betther put a coupiin' !
pin undher their hats, f'r tn Goddess iv /
Tihertv'N meet thin at til dock with an