davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Ente OF Old oxercoat.-

'Where do the old overcoats go?" is q
query that is Il natural successor to the
old riddle, Where do the flies go in
winter?" The old overcoats seen,
somehow to fade away, no one knows
just how. The ovcrcoat starts it's ca
rccr on the back of it's owner, who paid
$40 for it. 1t keeps him warm and
shelters him from cold winds and from
storms until it commences to get fray
cd at the edges and the pockets are
torn down the sides. Then the owner
uses the coat for rainy days only, and
no more does he take it to call on his
iiancec or to recline ON the back of a
chair while he is reading at the club.
He keeps it another summer, and the
moths get into it, and when he takes it
out in the fall it has holes here and
there. SO the owner gives it to the
ianitor. if the janitor is not cold,
naughty man. and the janitor wears IL
awhile until his wife gives it to the
tramp who wheeled out the three bar
rcls of ashes. The tramp wears 1t until
the old coat commences to fall apart.
Then he gives it to another tramp, and
it falls apart still more. And then
some day the coat has entirely disap-
peared. No one knows how or when.
The coat just simply faded away.
That's all anybody knows about it
Chicago Tribune.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Tryinr 10 Keen Ont.

A sick man who WAS really near to
death could not resist the temptation to
have little fun with his spiritual ad-
wiser. He had Il lingering malady, but
his days were certainly numbered by a
few weeks at tho most. He had not
been known as Il man of strong reli-
gious convictions. and yet there was
little If anything which could be said
against him. 1t was one of those deli
cate cases in which ii is hard for the
minister to do anything. Some one
suggested TO Rev. Paul Weyand. then
stationed ut Alorningside. that he make
IL call upon the patient.
Going to the house. he found the man
proppcd up in bed to relieve q smother
ing sensation. The sick man could
scarcely talk above a whisper, and Rev.
Mr.. Wcyand began to make subtle in
quilirs about his spiritual welfare.
The invnlid's answers were all non
colnnlittal and evasiye, and finally in
despair the pastor asked:
"Do YOU really want to go to heaven.
Mr.. Blank"
DO | want to go TO heaven?" repeat
ed the dying man in Il hoarse whisper.
Why. that's the place i've been fight
ing so hard to keep out of for the last
two years" !"-Pittsburg News.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
A Bit of Red Tame.

The absurdities of officialism have
perhaps never been better Illustrated
than by the incident i'll the career of
Lord Shaftesbury whicl. the author of
"Collections and Recolle1tions" relates:
One winter evening in 1867 he was
sitting in his library in Grosvenor
square, when the servant told him
that there was a poor man waiting to
see him. The man was shown in and
proved to be laborer from Clcrken-
well and one of the innumerable re.
cipients of the old earls charity.
He said, "NIy lord, you have been
very good to me, and have come to
tell you what have heard" 1t APP
peared that at the public house which
he frequented he had overheard some
Irlshmen of desperate character plot
ting to blow up Clerllcnwell prison.
He gave Lord Shaftesbury the in
formation, to be used as he thought
best, but made it condition that his
name should not be divulged. If it
were, his life would not be worth an
hours purchase.
Lord Shaftesbury pledged himself to
secrecy, ordered his carriage and drove
instantly to Whitehall. The authori-
ties there refused, on grounds Of OIL
cfal practice. to entertain the informa-
ton without the name and address OF
the informant These, Of course, could
not be given. The warning was re-
jected, and the Jail was blown up
Youths Companion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Her Wedding ..ro,ver..

An accommodation train on u dis
tant railroad was dragging along, when
n long, lean and sallow woman. in what
appeared to be subdued bridal hnery,
leaned across the aisle of the car and
said seriously to a lady sitting opposite
her:
Dear me! It's a kind of a solemn
thing to be travelin with two hus-
bands. now. amt it?'
~ do not know what you mean," re.
piled the lady.
"Oh. mebbe not Well, you see, my
first husband died bout year ago an
was buried over in Patrick county.
all last week was married ag'in, an
me an my second husband have been
over in Patrick county on little we'd
din tower. an thought I'd kind OF
like to have my first husband burie.
in the graveyard nigh whore I'm goil.
to live now, an my second HUSBAND
was willin. so we TUX my first hus-
band up. an he's in the baggage car
along with our other things. My see
ond husband is settin out on the
platform takin smoke an | been
settin here thinkin how solemn it is
TO go on a weddin tower with two
husbands. It's Il turrible solemn piece
of biZncss when you come to think
of it."-l.aurence Lee in I.ippincott's
MayaZine
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
NO. 3G
WHAT Enlightened Hin.

While "ruselny the isthmus of Pana-
ina by ral some years ago the conduct
or obligingly stopped the train for Mr..
crimson flowers by the roadside. 1t
was midday and intensely hot. In his
"On the Frontier" Mr.. Campion tells n
peculiar story Of this flower picking
experience.
l refused offers of assistance and
went alone to pluck the flowers. After
gathering handful noticed large
bed of plants knee high and of delicate
form and n beautiful green shade.
walked to them, broke off a fine spray
and placed it with the flowers.
To my amaZement saw that had
gathered a withered, shriveled, brown
ish weed. l threw it away, carefully
selected large, bright green plant
and plucked it. Again had in my
hand a bunch of withered leaves.
1t flashed through my mind that q
sudden attack of Panama fever, which
was very prevalent and much talked
of, had struck me dellrious.
l Went "otf my head" from fright. In
a panic | threw the flowers down and
was about to run to the train. l looked
around. Nothing seemed strange. I
felt my pulse. All right. was in
pcrspiration, but the heat would have
made Il lizard perspire.
Then noticed that the plants where
stood seemed shrunken and wilted.
Carefully put my finger on fresh
branch. Instantly the leaves shrank
and began to change color. had been
frightened by sensitive plants.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
.Brown's in Town. !,

"One unending laugh" is the way
the management describes the new
farce, Browns in Town." which will
be seen at the local theatre Saturday
evening, March Cd. The latest farcisl
etfnsion, which has theme entirely
different from anything yet seen here
on that order, was written for the sole
purpose to smuse the theatre going
public, and the amusement is created
in logical and reasonable manner.
The duty of the farce writer is much
easier and less exacting than that of
the dramatist, who writes serious
plays. He does not find it necessary
to shun the theatric effects; to keep
melodrama out of his drama, or ex-
clude farce or comedy, but dellrious
tumble of incongruities whose entire
function is to be funny. If the author
of farce excites plenty of laughter
without resource to vulgarity, all else
is forgiven. browns in Town" how
ever, is built on infinitely more
original lines than the farces of re-.
cent production. 1t contains many
consistent complications, good story
that is quantity told, and from tie
rise to the fall of the curtain, it is full
of interest. There are some pretty
musical numbers, an entirely new de-
psrture in this style of comedy. When
Brown" makes his bow to an audience
1t will be without flaw. The COM
pany Is composed of some capable fun
makers, among whom are George
Welch, Chss. Horn, Maude Knowlton,
Jessie Mai Hall, Edithe We'll and
others.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Why Cable. Get Tired.

There has been some question. says
The Electrical Engineer, as to the rea-
son why certain cables lose their con-
Quoting properties and have in some
instances to be replaced. A learned
Frenchman has submitted paper on
the subject to the Academic des Sci
ences. In this paper he states that
when cables lose their electrical prop
critics it is because they are always
used for one kind Of current only, Ell
ther positive or negative. If used
sometimes for positive and sometimes
for negative, they will. he states. pre-
serve their conductive qualities indef-
initely. Experiments with nine wires
running from Paris to Dijon demon
strated this, he says.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Council Bluffs is to have ball
team this coming season. A meet
ing was held at the court house in
that city Tuesday evening, in
which a tri-base ball league, COM
posed of Omaha, South Omaha
and Council Bluffs, was organized.
A stock company with a capital of
$4,000 will be incorporated. If
the teams of these cities are
handled right, it will prove not
only paying enterprise but will
be one of the best advertisements
Council Bluffs ever had. We
wish this new association success.
-Avoca Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
EeE Owa Selection.

Through oceans of " .nnants and rib
bons the putting big sman towed the
meek little :nan.
What i'll the world shall send her,
Jol!n:' she clustered. Come, suggest
something that would please Aunt Bet
sy. Something inexpensive. Why
don't you say something's"
Stationery. books or workboxes."
suggested tie mock little man.
Nothing of the kind. You couldn't
select Il present for the ashman. l
will look at some Of those fancy boxes
OF soap
They We're before the soap counter,
and she had her finger en- an elaborate
bon containing six round cakes of
white soap.
Fancy and re.fumcd" she said,
lifting Il cake. "'rhe very thing that
would please her the most. You may
wrap that ZIP. miss
Eat, my dear" protested the meek
little man.
"1ou just keep quiet. don't care
for amy suggestions from person
without taste
"kcally'-
Keep quiet. John Tcnbrook".
1t seemed as ifs her voice had penc-
tratcd every corner of the great store,
and the little man shrank away in NOR
tiGcatioa.
q
well, John, what did she say about
tho little gift? Something nice,
know"
"sshc returned it.''
"Whatw
Eyes; you will find note in the box"
She unfoldcd the missive and read:
"Niecc-l return the box of shaving
soap. | am a little too old to appreciate
the joke of being called the Bearded
Lady Your Aunt Betsy Chicago
News
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Met on n Screen.

One of the happiest uses served by
that wonderful and many named in
vention. the moving picture machine,
appears in story told in the London
Music Hall.
A party of gentlemen were watch
ing the pictures when in one of the
South African scenes they recognized
an officer friend. The wife of the
officer. on being told of this. wrote to
the manager and asked that this pic
ture might be put on on certain
journey from Glasgow.
She had not seen her husband for
over year, but at last observed him
in a group-on the screen OF cine
matograph.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
A BADFALL.
Scaffold brakes throwing to
the ground three workmen.

A bad accident happened at the
warehouse Of VIM. Neu6nd, on
Erie street, this morning about
$50 p. NJ. The workmen who are
building the second story to the
warehouse had erected scffold
and three of them, Abe Daniels,
John Leonard, and Robert MUIR
phey, we're standing on it at work.
One of the cross pieces Of the scaf-
fold broke, letting the men fall to
the ground, q distance of about %
feet. Mr.. Daniels fell under the
boards of the scaffold and was bad
ly hurt in the knee, head and back.
Mr.. Leonard fell on one of the
cross pieces, fracturing his right
hip and otherwise injuring him.
Drs. Colt and cGavren were call
ed and dressed the wounds and
made the injured man as comfor-
table as possible, and he was sent
to st. Benards hospital in Coun-
oil Bluffs this afternoon. Mr..
Murphy caught on the roof as the
scaffold gave way and held on un-
til a rope was thrown to him, and
he escaped without injury.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Iowa has had II governors since
her admission in to the Union,
some serving two terms, and in
the case OF klrkwood three terms
of two years each, as follows:
Ansel Briggs, dem. from lS46-5O
Stephen Hemsted, dem. lS5O-54
James W. Grimes, whig. lS54-57
Ralph P. Lowe, republican lS57-59
Samuel J. Kirkwood, rep 1859 63
VIM NJ. Stone, republican 1868 81
Samuel Merrill, rep. 1867 80
Cyrus Q. Carpenter. rep lS7l-73
John ii. Gear, republican, lS73-79
Bnren r. Sherman, rep. lSSl-S5
William Larrabee, rep. lSS5-S9
Horace Boies, Democrat, 1SS9-93
Frank ID. jackson, rep. lS93-95
f. M. Drake, rep. lS95-M
IL. nj. Shaw. rep. 1897 1901
This demonstrates the fact that
Iowa is the Giberalter of Repub-
licanism in the west, as it is seen
that in this 53 years of statehood,
Iowa has only had three Demo-
cratic Governors, and from pres
ant appearances, these three will
be the only Democrats who will
ever reach the governorship of the
great state Of Iowa, not because
the party is lacking in able men,
but the republicans continue to
vote for Lincoln, like they say the
democrats in the south continue
to vote for General jackson. We
dislike to think Iowa is doomed to
republicanism, but truth is strong-
er than fiction, and we are forced
to come to this conclusion. We
have always wondered why iowa,
an agricultural state, can be SO
radically republican, but our Won
der does not change the fact that
Iowa is joined to her idols, and no
appearance of IN immediate or
future political improvement.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
un.y,npathetic.

you haven't much sympathy for the
request from your employees for short
cr hours"
Not much" answered Mr.. Cumrox.
"lt goes to show that men don't know
when they are well off. If they had
been invited around to musicales and
dragged through Europe by Mrs. G.
and the girls like ! have. maybe they'd
appreciate the privilege Of staying in
n nice. comfortable. businesslike office
nine or ten hours a day."-Washington
Star
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
HARTWIG's LUNG BALsAN]
for all throat and lung troubles

There is more involved in the
fight by the railroads to control
the nomination for governor and
other state officials who fix as
sessed values of property, than
the average citizen knows of. The
railroads are assessed at 10 per
cent of their market value. The
farms through which they run,
and all other property, is assessed
at 25 per cent. The stocks and
bonds of Iowa railroads are quot
ed today at S45O,0O0,O00. Ten
per cent of that is S45, 100000.
Any other like amount of proper
ty in the state would be assessed
at Is per cent, or Sll2,00O,OO0.
The difference between the rail-
road assessment and the same
value in other property is $685.
100000. -Des Moines Leader.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Twenty-Eight Dollars From
Missouri Valley to Port
land, Seattle, Tacoma
and Puget Sound,

Via the North Western Line.
Tickets on sale each Tuesday un-
til April Both, inclusive. Short
est time en- route. Finestscenery.
Daily and Personally Conducted
Tourist Car Excursions. For tic
kets and full information, apply
to nearest ticket agent, Chicago &
North Western R'y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
SIN Anxiona

'Haye YOU fastened the windows,
iear" she asked. as they were about
70 retire for the night.
NO. What's the use? gave you
the last dollar had to buy that new
hat. and we needn't fear burglars"
"Rnt they might sit down on the hot.
you kaow."-Washinston Pest.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
TOO Strong n Temptation.

"Yes, George asked me how old l
would be on my next birthday"
"rhe impudcnt fellow! OF course
you said 1872"
mo; said 2G"
Mercy. girl. you amt but 24!'
mo, but George is going to give me
cluster ring with diamond in it for
every year."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
First Need.

"What ten books would you take II
you had to pass the rest of your life
on desert islandw
"Oh. | wouldn't take books at all;
I'd take things 10 eaL"-Exchange.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Lewis L Resselter, of Lee coun-
ty, ILLINOIS, is in the Valley look
ing up his real estate interests.
He bought the Olmstead farm
near this city.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Mrs M Norton was called to
Logan today. Her brother, Squire
Wilson, undergoes an operation
for the removal of one of his legs
today, and he wanted his sister
present.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

. Fred Pickering, the young man
who was so seriously injured at
Boone the other day, died last
evening at 5:15 o'clock. w II
Withrow and wife leave for
Boone this evening, to attend the
funeral.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Miss Cornella Kuhn went to
Council Bluffs this morning for q
few days visit with relatives and
friends.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

VIM Neuind accompanied Mr.
Leonard, the man who was in
jured this morning by the scatfold
falling, to the hospital this after
noon
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
st. John Items.
BY MAC.

st. John Items.
BY MAC.
Mr. and Mrs Ell Mccullough
were visiting relatives in this
place on Sunday.
Alex and james Kirkwood call
ed on friends in st John Sunday
evening.
The first pair of robins for 1901
put in an appearance in our apple
trees February 18th.
The entertainment given by
Miss Hileman's pupils on Friday
night was coed, all rendering
their parts with credit to them
selves.
Farmers have commenced to
talk about sowing wheat.
Mrs j. A Bois and Mrs Il lin
sley were calling in st John Tues
day.
The proper authorities of Mo.
Valley should get after the parties
who are depositing the slops and
other offensive matter along the
street in O'Dell's addition Just
south Of the 9th street crossing
at the C& n w Depot. The
sight and smell is enough to
cause the cholera or plague when
the weather gets a little warmer
besides being very disagreeable
to persons driving past.
The cisterns in this locality are
almost empty, good rain would
now be in order.
Sam Mace was calling on rela-
tives in st John on Sunday last
We always like to see farmer
or horseman drive up to hitch
ing post these days, jump out of a
rig, unfold q big warm blanket
and carefully cover his faithful
horse. There is big heart il
that man. He'll do to tie to. He
is thinking of something else be-
sides himself and he takes as
much pleasure in careing for the
comfort of his horse as we'll as for
himself. On the other hand it
makes us sad to see big man
warmly clad from head to foot,
drive sweating, steaming horse
up TO the rack, hastily tie him
fast, leave him shivering and
make for the nearest hot stove.
There is something wrong with
that fellow. He may be a nice
man, may belong to church, may
not swear, smoke nor have any
bad habits, but we would not like
to be his horse. No sir!-Blair
Courier.
Those Who Never Told a Lie.
Blair, Neb., Feb %. An inter
esting program of Washington's 3
birthday exercises was rendered at
the North school Thursday. Sew
eral recitations and songs were
given.
FL. w. Mcbride, a rock ribbed
republican and one of the board of
directors, made q speech, at the
close of which he asked the schol-
ars questions to test their knowl.
edge of history and correct events.
"Who was it, he asked, chat
never told lie?'
In an instant every hand went
skyward and responded:
George Washington"
Then the school director asked
if any other person in the United
States had never told q lie, and
then it was that May Dixon, a
bright-faced 7-year old girl, raised
her hand to its fullest exetnt to-
ward the ceiling and replied:
"W. j. Bryan never told allie. .
The answer failed to elicit any
further queries. 1t is unnecessary
to say that the teacher did not
have to restore order, as the drop
ing of min could have been heard
throughout the school room.
Council Bluffs is to have ball
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

A federal union Of vegetarian socie-
ties exists in London. London has a
vegetarian hospital with 20 beds in
connection with It.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Sid Marshsl, who went to the
hospital in Lincoln week ago, is
reported as doing very we'll. He
is recovering very nicely from the
operation.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Geo A Kellogg, of the First Ma
tional Bank is in Omaha today on
business.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Arthur Mooney, formerly of the.
Valley, is moving his family from
Champaign, ILL.,, to his farm in
Remsen, Iowa.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Mitchell Vincent, of Onawa,
was in the Valley this morning
with his daughter, who was on
her way to Missouri for visit
with friends.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Mrs VIM Hall is reported con-
siderably better today.
Richard Hall Dead.

Richard (Dick) Hall, one of
the oldest settlers of Harrison
county, died at his home north of
this city, last night, aged about rs
years. He came to Florence in
the year 1858, before Omaha was
a town. In 1856 he moved to
Calhoun and has resided in this
county since that time. He was
an Englishman by birth and a
genial man in every respect, and
was we'll liked by everybody. He
leaves a wife and several sons and
daughters to mourn his death.
The funeral will take place
from the family home at 10 o. CLOCK
tomorrow and the burial will be
in Calhoun cemetery.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Zach West went to Omaha this
morning with Mr. Lee, who goes
to the hospital in that city to have
his eyes operated on. He is an
old g. A. r. man.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Miss Mamie Donaldson, Of
Woodbine, is visiting friends in
the Valley.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28


John Sullivan, Jr. arrived in
the Valley this morning from a
six months trip through the south,
east and west. He visited Texas,
louisiana, Mississippi, Cali
fornia, old Mexico and as far east
as New York City. He has been
travelling with the Bostock Carni-
val Co. of Baltimore. He says it
is the finest trip he ever took in
his life. He will open up a dry
goods and boot and shoe store
about the middle of April in the
building occupied by John Ander-
son with the Cash Bazaar.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Mrs q q Demon is visiting
friends in Sioux City today.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28

Mrs James Hall, who has been
in the Valley the guest of her
sister, Mrs VIM Hall, left for her
home in Elkhorn this afternoon.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-02-28
Cliff Barnes is on the sick list

Il am willing to risk my repu-
tation as public man." says a
correspondent of the Liverpool
Mirror, elf the worst case of
smallpox cannot be efectually
cured in three days simply by
cream of tartar dissolved in pint
Tof boiling water, to drink at short
intervals. It can be taken at any
time and is a preventative as we'll
as a curative. It is known to
have cured in 100000 cases with
out failure. l myself restored
hundreds by this means. 1t never
leaves scar, never causes blind
ness and always prevents tedious
lingering. If people would only
try it, and report all the cures to
you, it would require many
columns if you gave them publici-
ty.'