New-York tribune., 1901-08-30
DEVERY UNBOsOMs TO MCHUCK.
WOES OF AN INJURED INNOCENT
POURED INTO SYMPATHETIC EARS.

"shure Chafe Divery is great an CROWN mon,"
said The Tribune's old friend the Honorable Dan
lei McChuck. of Brooklyn yesterday at the City
Hall
st up { see Bill t'-day. whn byes
BIZ used { kape tn tally at the baseball games
an whin wanted { win allus give Bill red
apples, or nuts glass allies He wuz too big L
lick Whin dhrapped in Z Mulberry-st. t'-day
Bill sez 'Ye fine ovid lobster, I'm that glad I
ye. an hope yer not here touchin' Captain
Jim Cannon that noisy blatherskite O'Neill'
witch I soaked good an plenty, sez he Thin
dir-r-rty an rattlesnakes an highbnders
in the Par-rkhurst sassety hez got me in Queer-ft
timpor'ly.' he Phat did iver do Z thin
nothin'. Bill. AN here they're maxim throuble
in tn business. I wisht all tn Whitneys an
Moses an Jeromes an Philbins wuz IN tn Barren
ISLAM redooction wurruks,' sez Bill, warrum-like
Thin there kim ring tn tillyphone an BIZ
seq. rs that you, Carroll? did sind 1t I yiz oy
Express an Glennon carried It. Phat do viz do wid
all tn dough? Hows tn ice business, Johnr
Bill An thin Bill sez wild grin. John. whin
ye ar TUX Wild tn goods on viz. sthand up an take
yer medicine. That's phat I'm fadein' tn boys
down here. an dose it is good fur tn likes
ye. an then" said Mr.. McChuck. he rang
OF after sindn' his regards I Canfeld
Thin sez. 'Bill. I'm In politics. an ye air fur
nishin aid an comfort Z the inemy by lettin'
this man Jerome lick ye. sez l. Danny. sez BILL
I'm beln robbed right an left by these rattle
snakes ours an highbinders. How tn divi kin
we appreciate the inforcemint laws II we don't
break thin an thin? AS a raysult av bein'
interfered wild I'm poor man to-day. Wild only one
automobile in another mans name. Phat have
Z show fur me unswervn' juty tn body politicT
Plat ernollymints have in me clothes as reim-
bursemint fur guardIn tn palladium av' III peoples
liberties? Danny Bill, runnin' on like a Dago
on a strate pianny after attn onion, I give viz
me word amer. STINT av unspotted char-
ackther. I haven't the necessary change IN me
clothes I buy that horse Cresceus. although you
an I know I'm better man amy day thin John
scanneu who owns The Abbot an who's tist been
TUX wild m goods him. an who's standin up
an takin his medicine. My collection agency. wild
Glennon as foreman, wuz dom well I'LL these ours
an rattlesnakes an highbinders broke in IN
game They're corruptin' an desthroyin' discipline
..,Danny' sex Bill in wlndin up. as touchin' an
appertainin' L an honest man. l sthick out ike
the revolvin' light at Sandy Hook, or a ounion on
a miuona!res fut. livery tolme me inenleS heZ
trun me down Wild indictments I hev riz like
buttercake on a hot griddle an escaped troo IN
rneshes av tn law TIL law has terrors fur me-
I'm somethin' av a Judge mesef. II ye can t'row
amy business my way. Danny seq BILL reminder
I'm allus close up benin tn bat
Thin Bill TUX t IN dUre list as his auto
mobile came up sissin an splutterin'. Danny
sez Bill. come an take a ride Wild me. I'm gittin'
Z be somethn' av a shaffure. but l don't like
this machine ez well tn other wan
Wild that Bin winked. an said In a stage
whisper: This machine runs wild gas. breaks down
often makes a lot noise and perduces nothlh
MY John Dough machine night an day, hard
ly liver slips cog makes noise. an all the phlle
kapes me ridln' in Aisy Sthreet' Bill dropped me
out forninst tn East Twinty-second-st. station
house. an sez Goodby Danny. I'm goin I give
Captain Cannon a drive fur his health He's purity
sick t'-day.'
I'm goln' T. git thin John Dough ma
chimes nnyseIf" said the Honorable Daniel Nc
Chuck as he left the reporter and started Tor the
Brooklyn Bridge