The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1901-10-04
"0UR Bob" TALKS OF HIS WEDDING.
Louisville Courier Journal

QOn KNOW 1t now, feCkOu, Uul
most probably you'll know it some
day, that man just married is like
the farmers lad the calf rar over
he's got nothing to say.
"You see, it was this way. I'd
been a-scrapin' my wings about that
good-lookin' young widow down in
Montgomery for quite spell, but l
didn't seem to be doing any good for
myself. Then 1 heard that she and
her father and mother were going
to California for long trip. Well,
sir, just picked up my things and
landed them smack in Tuscaloosa
without a stop. You know, a fell
low can do a whole lot when he
just has to-"
The Governors face took on a
most serious expression.
81 just lad to. Tn .se accidents
of travel, you know, including the
chief accident of some California
fellow spiking my trail when l was
not there, was too strong for Bob
Taylor. | read over that old lecture
of mine where I told the story bout
the farmer who married unhappily.
You know, he had a quarrel with
his wife and went down to the barn
determined TO hang himself. He
got blind bride and fastened him
self up safely to rafter. When
he was about dead, Uncle Ephraim
happened along and cut him down.
BY and by the farmer came back to
life and turned fercely on the old
darkey.
"'Don't you know, Ephraim,
that in another minute should have
been walking the golden streets of
paradise and grasping the diamond
door-knob of the house where all
my old, dead friends live?'
+" 'Humpp shifted Ephraim, 'and
nice fix you'd be in, .lookin' fer
damon door knobs, wearing blind
bride, wouldn't your
"Well, SIR" said the Governor,
81 read that over and / thought it
over ali the way down on the train,
but | reckoned I'd whole lot better
take chance on having hunt for
the diamond door-knobs wearing a
blind bride in paradise, than ac-
cept the certainty of running about
down here on earth like a string
battered old mule with little bit
of me in Tennessee and the most of
me out in California. | amt big
enough to cover such stretch Of
ground, honest.
81 did the only thing possible, l
explained to them that L was OPP
posed to having myself split up that
way and at last they gave in. Now
we're here-that's all there is to it.
ooh! I'm doing nothing in par
ticular except working on my new
lecture. 1t is to be called Life on
the Old Plantation 1t compares
rural life with life in the cities, and
tells the advantages of rural life, and
of course, l tell few stories to IL
lustrate the points. 1t will be
ready pretty soon and then I'll start
out to try it. Phi be in Louisville
sometimes during the winter.
Speaking of reporters, now"
said the Governor, "and not to be
personal, when get newspaper
mans card l always think of that
story about the Tennessee preacher.
''One Tuesday morning his wife
presented him with fine, lusty
heir. Wednesday, in celebration of
the event, the congregation gave
the worthy man purse containing
800. 1t was an open question in
the congregation, which was the
more acceptable, the boy or the
money. One wag started it with
bet of So that the parson was more
joyful over the money than the boy.
Well, sir, the whole church took it
up. By Thursday there wasn't
person in the town who had not
risked something on one side or the
other. Excitement ran high.
"Then some level headed fellow
put temporary damper on it by
asking, 'How are we going to de-
cide?' An ingenious man proposed
that whichever gift the parson men,
toned first on the following Sunday
should be taken as the most pre-
cious. If he thanked the Lord for
the boy and then for the money the
hackers of filial love won, but if the
money came first in the prayer of
thanks, then the worldly.wise got
the coin.
"Sunday came and the church
was crowded. On the right of Z e
center aisle sat the hackers of flial
love; on the left were the believers
of money love. The prayer of
thanks began. The parson thanked
his Master for the many blessings
enjoyed, for the prosperity of the
church, for the recovery of the sick,
and SO forth, and finally, 90 Lord,
l thank Thee'-the people bent for
ward, tensely listening-sI thank
Thee, o Lord, for Thy most timely
succor.'
''And they called the bet a draw.
"And that's what / think when |
| get a newspaper mans card.
Thank the Lord for this most timely |
sucker.
"Why, you amt going, are your"
said the Governor. 'You must wait
anyhow until l order up the drinks.
Don't crush the mint in mine,