The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-09-21

phia Telegraph
Il know many a young man. casual
~ observed Miss Kerf1ip, who used a
look reasonably graceful on a bicycle
who is sadly disfguring the glorious
summer landscape by trying to ride q
hard trotting horse. Chicago Tribune
Now that you've inherited half a
million you'll reform, of course said
the good man.
well, I shall certainly never be 2
thief again. replied the hardened Grim
inal
All. but the old habit. Do you think
your good fortune viii change that?''
Sure. It will make it kleptomania- "
Philadelphia Press
Eff yer wants ter make a man feel
satisfied wild dis worl'. des tell i'm dat
his times up. en- he gwine ter de next
Furrin missions is all right, but hit
makes folks feel funny ter see a heath
en- in a beaver hat en- an fur overcoat
whilst we gwine roun' in a hickory
stripe shirt
Some folks wants all de gold what
you kin dig for 'eln, but when it come
ter diggin' it deyse'f dey gifts a certiii-
cate fun de doctor sayin' dat what dey
needs is res Atlanta Constitution.
The Moth-How's business?
The Rust-I'm working overtime.
The Moth-In what particular line2
The Rust-Just now I've got a big
contract to cover a lot of expensive
steel plant machinery, and at the same
time I'm awfully busy eating holes in
workingmen's dinner pails.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
See hereI' exclaimed the boys moth
er, as she elected him from the panSry,
how many more times must / tell yal
to keep away from those jars Of pre-
serves2"
How many more Jars are there ma ~
inquired the oy.-Philadelphia Record
There should be no politics in muni-
cipal affairs
Then how could man expect to be
reelected? Indianapolis News.
William, here's a dollar for you. You
know I'm running for Office. don't you?
Yes. subj - replied the old voter. but
hit'n take bout one dollar en- a quarter
ter 'lect a man lax youl''-Atlanta Con-
stitution-
A Sunday school superintendent, who
happened to be a draper and was teach
ing a class of very little tots, asked,
when he had finished explaining the les
son: Now. has anyone a question to
ask2''
A very small girl raised her hand.
What is it. Martha?' asked the sup
erintendent.
why Mr. Brooks. how much are
those little red parasols IN your win
dow 2''-Tit-Bits
Hotels are divided into hotels and
temperance hotels. according to the 10
cation of the bar--Life-
Young lady, don't you know that
every time you smoke cigarette you
drive a nail in your coffin p
@Oh. nonsense A woman can't drive
a nail. "-AIoonshine.
Physician dunatic asylum = Mrs
Sharptongue was here today and
wanted her husband sent home and
placed under her care.
SUPPLEMENTARY you let him go Z?
Physieian-No. He said he would
rather stay here
superintendent = Hunt The man
must be sane--Tit-Bits-
That's good counsel the new preach
err gave us said the deacon.
(which iS?N
Love yer neighbor while he sleeps
but watch him while he wakes. At
lanta Constitution.
Nobody understands mer' cried the
poet despairingly. I shall starverN
For it was against the law to beg,
and he was too proud to conduct a Sc
ries of authors readings.-Life.
yes" said the loud guest at the sea
side hotel; It move in the best society
in our town ABR remarked the
quiet man; Il suppose you are able to
take your vacation now because the
moving business is slack at present.
Philadelphia Record.
Il thought you We're given a job in
the public service because of the work
you did for the party"
I was. but quit"
why -
why: Why. hang it all! they're get
ting so blamed particular now that
they want a fellow to work for his
salary. Chicago Post
It takes strength Of mind to do it
but now is the time to patronize the
coal man.-Des Afoines Leader.
she-whieh do you take after-your
mother or your father2
He-WeIl, when I'm talking I'm more
like mother, and when I'm quiet I'm
like father.-Y onkers Statesman.
It is said that the roar of a lion can
be heard farther than the sound made
by any other living creature. Next to
that comes the note of a woman who
has found a mouse in her bureau
Boston Transcript.
The taste of the French is not de-
teriorating. They have acquired the
good old American penchant for Tur-
key hxin s.-Nashville News