Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1901-07-13
{ SARCASM TN SIGNS.
ADVERTISEMENTS THAT At TIMES
's,s,. BECOME A MOCKERY.

Announcements when They Were
Hard Up and Out of Employment.
y The advance agent met the leading
man OF another show the other night,
and, as they had not seen each other In
seven years, there was q warmnese
about their greeting that was refresh
ing.
Dear old Toni" said the leading
man. 81 was thinking Of you not five
minutes ago. Sit down, you dear old
fellowl passed bakery not five min
utes ago, and thought Of you. Why
here's Willis! | was Just saying to
Tom that | never see bakers that / |
don't think OF him. Tom and were
poor oncel Mighty poor too. | re
member that we had been turned out
OF different homes Oh the same cold |
night and met each other for the first
+ time by chance, We shared the com |
forts Of butchers wagon that night |
and went upon a rummaging expedi- |
| ton the next day. We halted In front
OF German bakery, half starved and
dsgusted with life generally. There
was huge sign In the window which
sald There Is No Cake Like Ours We
hadn't u penny between us, but Tom
stepped in and asked for sample of
the cake. The Dutchman didn't ap-
preciate the humor of the request, SO
Tom said, You may keep your cake,
boss; but, say, give me a chunk OF
bread, quick, or III cut out your giz.l
gard III never forget that cake sign
because It took us hours to get away
from the police who were attracted to
the scene by the bakers cries for help"
But that was not my only expert
ence with n peculiar sign" remarked
the advance agent after hearty laugh.
"The year before | went on the road
for the first time was in as hard luck
as ever man was. had pawned ev-
erything in sight and was almost starv-
ed. | found an umbrella in the hall
way of down town building, and the /
Janitor told me to keep 1t. 1t was q
fairly good rain shield, and l immedi-
ately carried II to mine uncle. didn't
] had formed the acquaintance of hun
dreds of his people. His place was on
Sixth avenue, and he gave me Is cents
on 1t, which gladly accepted AS he
was making out the ticket he said:
DO you want TO save 1t from the
mothsY
"'Yes,' answered.
That will cost you - cents. Per
haps you would like to have 1t insured
II is always advisable but 1t will cost
you II cents more replied my friend
All right said. Take good care
of It, He could have eaten 1t for all
cared, for | never intended to redeem
IT, | was about TO leave the place when
l saw big sign on the far wall. Ii
said:
No extra charge for putting watch
es and jewelry In the safe In the office.
Watches and jewelry 1t brought
the tears TO my eyes, and as / crawled z
into my 10 cent bed that night | y
thought Of diamond necklaces, pearls
and rubies Of priceless value and-cake.
Oh, the curse of some signs! How they
mock the poorT
They were all silent a moment, but Il,
the one addressed as Willis was the
first TO resume conversation, and he
said:
There's my friend. Big John Smith
Let me introduce him. Since you chaps q
ire talking of signs and hard luck, let
ne tell you of the time that | had TO
cave my trunk at the old Stevens
House, on lower Broadway, and light NJ
,ut by the shades Of midnight to get v
lway from a hotel bill that couldn't
Jay. Everything had in the world
vas locked up In that trunk, and as |
ould not remove anything without ex-
ting suspicion | thought 1t best to
eep out Of Jail by leaving everything -
ehind me. | must have walked the
treets at least week famished and
One afternoon | was pass
lg along an up town street. hoping to
lie, when | happened to look up and
aw a sign as big as my hopes were M
mall. This sign read: in
" We Are Not Daylight Robbers. 10,
runksl Trunks From the Battery 40 40
} the Harlem Bridge to Your Room 81 o.,
or % Cents 0i
IF that sign was not the irony of 10
lte in my case. do not know what ar
call it." g.;
"Oh, that's u small affair alongside A.;
my experience" said Smith. ut is & ,
lly few years ago too | had been
nemployed for several months and as 90
had six little shayers to take care Of l r.,
file monev had saved d,dn,, SON. ero 81
have n friend In the wide world TO
I'm to, and | spent my last copper for
paper TO examine the employment col
mn. 1t was about Christmas time, -
Id l dreaded going back home to face -
e scolding landlord | recall that | r
opped In front of the Harlem Office
q newspaper TO see the holiday
ovid go by. and as l did so | saw a
gn that made my blood run cold. 1t
Id: 8
There Is No Reason Why You Sk.
,ould Be Idle insert Want Al 2:1i
our Cents q Line 70
The pronouD was printed In i'm o.os
ense letters, and had the greatest and
)uble dissuading myself that 1t was Gee
t intended far me, and me alone. 4
course 1t wasn't but that sign burn Dia
into my memory. and have and
ought of II innunerahIe times since Of
oh. pshaw" rejoned the leading a Eso
IN after pause. 81 suppose It Is i'm he
ssible to please everybody with pub. ar.
signs. | saw one in Buffalo once by {
lich said: Attention. blind men. Sire
ad this and be cured which referred of 6
new treatment for the blind All hav
nc c-uno+ no evnootod 70 so+,ss,, .ho fuse