The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-07-26
SPINNING WHEEL.
THE SODA FOUNTAIN CLERK.

l
THE SODA FOUNTAIN CLERK.
Consider now the meek and humble soda
,Who draweth Off the moistenel air with
nimble turn and jerk. 49, -:5
IL, His garb is always spotless white when
But, l., before an hour hath passed is
! SpGtleSsness is gone. '-,
For then he hath vanilla on the bosom of
ms ms vest, anu streaks OF red raspberry ma ie
! his trousers seem jest.
While chocolate and ginger give tiger.
like effect to the balance Of the gnY,ntnts
His hair is Imp and larguid, and is D TT
| ed square and true
Above the very center of his nose, which
Because he hath to linger in the ac:d and
the ice, to fix up funny mixtures tor The
one that hath the price.
line Of fancy links. and all the viii he
watcheth for persuasive sorts Of winks.
From early morn he twisteth at the soda
the ice hath given out.
He diggeth in the icecream and he rus l.
eth with the glass, while his deadly hated
| rival buys the soda for the lass.
Iea, verify, the soda clerk, he hath a sor--
~ time, for he must know the way to get
nine cents out Of each dime.
| And he must be a hustler, that there will
he'll tremblc at the boss.
How often, oh, how often. hath the soda
jerker grinned at the one who payeth nick
els for ,penny's worth Of wind
| How often. oh: how often, doth a calm
and peaceful smile go fitting Ger his visage
when drink goes out of style.
! eth very bad, and then is when the lldjes
come with garments rich and glad.
The ladies fill the rockers and the door
ways and the stools, and insist upon Il
! liquid that both elevates and cools
| And one declareth that she'd like some
chocolate with cream. and. when he draw
eth it, straightway ''Oh, no. the maid doth
And then she voweth that she hath al
! ready changed her mind, and wanteth just
phosphate with piece Of lemon rind
| they do net know Just what they wish-ard
on and on their mild objections flow.
| The weary soda fountain clerk suggesteth
phate to dose of anti-fat
And finally, the ladies fair with one con-
sent &C, eon tau; that chocoate and
Now. when he draweth all the drinks,
! his troubles are not done
Nay. verify, my trusting child, they are
Fer each and every maiden there doth
| straightway rise and say:
do S S6t ;e4 ers' III think it's awful if yoa
Ar, Ana ali protest; and all object, and all
And net one takes out her purse he1
Now. finally, the soda clerk suggesteth
drank-and then beginneth the TRADE:
Fer all the ladies vow in wrath,yea. yea.
ployer see, and take from him his Job.
And then they take their paraso's: and
sternly go away, and not cent of all that
The gentle soda fountain clerk. he falleth
in a 1aze. and leaneth on the vichy tube
and wicked things he says
Is this not true. just as we have COM
posed it, with much work?
1t surely is-and If you doubt, 20 ask the
| soda clerk. Baltimore American.
From the Hickory Ridge Missourian.
Pay up! Pay up!
Pay up! Pay up! Pay up!
We need money on subscription.
-Morg Pettibone sold two fine shoats
yesterday.
Rod Runker says his broomcorn is
booking splendid.
Another lot of choice Porto Rico mo-
lasses at Schallenberger's.
Uncle Abe Chitwood greeted every
a set Of new teeth.
If you want a haircut in the latest
style go to 4Arth Loomis' tonsorial par
lors. Gents egg shampoo, 20 cts.
-Clayt Honeysuckle came to town last
Saturday and got drunken than two billed
owls. He paid fine Of 81 and costs. (tfl
Willis Hopperdyke was feeling pretty
good yesterday. He had sold a copy Of
Bryan's Commoner. The man got away
iefcre he could learn his name.
We moved our office last Monday in
to the building formerly occupied by
Squire Underwood as justice shop.
Our thanks are due to Town Marshal
Php Dellum. Rev. Verdigris, Mort
iuthridge. Squire Baxter, Gabe Milli-
ken, Tod Bellamy. LATE Harkinson. I'm
Gle Hold Arkwright, Yves Kittenring,
Link Gillinwater and Jim Eckroyd for
nclp in moving our big Washington hand
press.
The chicken-livered A]gerine that
runs the Hawville Clarion says we lost
81 on horse race week before last. We
admit it like man. We thought we had
4 sure t.llns. hut we hadn't. If we had
won we wouldn't have gone around bragg
gins about it. and just because we lost
we amt doing any bellering, like the
dropped Is cents on a rooster fight in
Uncle John Phillips barn in the Turtle
Ford neiShborhood one night last fall.
He said they rung in professional game
| rooster on him. Who ever heard of 4
profes, ,cnal rooster? Our advice to the
Hawville idiot is to keep his mouth shut,
AID he won't get into trouble. If he
waits IAIOtueF uOSe VI lulS lcl ulM COulC
again. hicago Tribune.
4 Southerner in the city tells this story
of an oddly in negro dialect: Henry, the
man of all work, found his masters pet
dog lying dead in the back yard early one
morning. Rushing into the house and to
the bedroom Of the dogs owner, the ne
gro cried. excitedly:
"Mistah Will. dat dere dern dog done
dead."-New York Times.
One by one the travellers entered the
| sleeping car bound for the exposition.
Porter" said a fat man.
Yes. sab"
Put me off at Buffalo,"
The porter showed two rows of worries
in an affected grin.
Oats purity good, sah," he said
An "octopustic'' looking man came in
and looked at the porter with evidences
of a smile twitching around the corners
of his mouth.
Porter" he said.
Yes, sab"
Put me off at Buffalo
Then came wOman-a braZen woman
who sprung the same old gag, followed
by the two travelling men, who drew cuts
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