The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-03-08
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Msriam-Jack Dunsnap tried to kiss
me five times last night Aelicent--tn-
deed. What interrupted hims-Puek-
Cook ow'm goin' to make mince
pie when we haven't any mlnce meat
in the h0usez Mrs. Feedem-Put some
sugar IN that cold hash---Baltimore
American.
rs the boss ins" asked the stranger.
entering the drug store mo-" replied
the absent-minded clerk. hut we nave
something just as good "-YOnkers
Statesman
4. Clerk-Perhaps you'd Ike to look AZ
some goods little more expensive than
these shopper-Nos necessarily. but
would ike to look at some Of better
quality. Philadelphia Press.
Identified at Last: Assistant Editor
I've found out at last who '-Yox Pop
uli'' is. EditOr-Whos Assistant Ed
itOr-'Constant Reader under nom
de plume.-syracuse Herald
The Difference .'Oh. well. you Drude.
don't care for your kisses" Sour
grapes" you needn't send me any
over the telephone. either" Sour cur
rents '-C Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Biil-Did you say that gun Of yours
would shoot 1000 yardss Jin-Thars
what did. We'll it's marked to shoot
only 500 yards" Yes: but there are
two barrels. H-Yonkers Statesman
To the Manner Born. Jaggles- When
H. Ia g..
theater II IS generally by the rich peo-
pie in the boxes. WaggIes-Another
proof that money talks--Smart Set
Passenger ito station porterj--New.
its 4 o'clock. and the time table says
the train arrives at 3;14- Station POr-
ter-Oh. well. you mustn't take the time
table too seriously--Fiiegen Batter
Variety" said the man who never
thinks for himself. 'is the spice OF
life" Il envy you" said Miss Cayenne
You envy me whats" Your enjoy
ment Of this climate Washington
Star.
Mr. Goodboy-Ah. little mani Want
TO see the wheels go rounds waldo
Beanes-Thank you. sir; but I'm per-
feetly familiar with the mechanism Of
the modern r--Harpers
Bazar
4 have compelled my wife 20 cease
stunning on the piano" said Mr..
GOldsborough to Mr. Bunting How
did you manage itl" 4 insisted upon
singing every time she began TO play
Judge.
Sympathetic FrIeHd--Why haven't
you exhibited anything this Year, Art
ist-I refused all their offers-I simply
can't sell myself TO anyone. Friend
HUM Something ike your picturesl-
Journal Amusant.
Magistrate tseverelyl-How could you
be so mean as 10 swindle people who
put confidence in youT Pris0ner-wel.
yer honor. III make it worth something
10 We II you'll tell me now TO work them
as don'J.-Tit-Bits-
What do you think Of the Christmas
magazinesE" -Oh. 1 haven't paid any
attention TO their literary merits.
e. What I object TO is that so many q
: the advertisements are duplicated--
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Come. children" said Mr. Widwer.
introducing the second Ms. Widwer.
come and kiss your new mamma. J."
"GraciOns-' exclaimed little Elsie. II
you took her for new they stuck you.
l. .'-Phiiadeiphia Press.
Mrs. Forrester-Seems to me that
p you would set your cap for Mt Hall.
: He is evidently an easy catch. Miss
! Chorister-Easy catch is no name for
? him. He has been an epidemic in cur
set for ten years.-Denver News.
First COnvict-Did the new arrival
!, explain how he looted the 'Steenth Ma
5 tional? Second Conviction. yesl II
e IS plain that the art Of eliminating 9
e banks surplus has made great strides
!. since we were in the business--Puck.
; Madame. are you a woman suffra.
L gistT' NO. sir; l haven't time TO be. =
Haven't time? Well. II you had n,
privilege OF voting. whom would yoJ
supportT' The same man have sup
ported for the last ten years-my hus
J. band. Modes and Fabrics.
The beggar had approached the 81
ciaI reformer. why don't you go {,
work. asked the social reformer. 's
never thought OF that" exclaimed tn
st beggar. The next evening the socia
II reformer delivered a lecture on "Sim
d pie Advice 70 the Poor. Philadelphia
D. Record
% Diner Ito restaurant waiterl-Wha
y have you got for dinner? Waiter
a Roast beef ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
d lambhashbaked and friedpOtatoescOl
ie legepuddingmilkteaandcoffee- Diner
J. Give me the third. four. fifth. sixth