Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1901-09-30

CidI. On f1dWlCh lie puts HIS
head out of the window and shouts:
Card, are We keepin an e'e on that
trunk O. mine?"
Card (sharply) yes.
AL Melrose Jock cries:
Hey, GARD, yere shure we dinna pit
ma trunk DOT at the last station?"
Guard angriIy)-Didn't tell you
that it was all right?
Jock, however, was i'll at ease, and
at Galashiels he said
Il say, gaird, if that trunk O. mines
lost ye'll haze to become responsible
fort
The guard, out of all patience,
fiercely exclaimed: Il wish to goodness
ye'd been an elephant, wi yer trunk
stuck on We"
Jock collapsed.
A Highland hotel keeper was one
day having a squabble with an En-
4 glishman in the lobby of hotel about
his bill. The stranger said it was
gross imposition-he could live cheap
er in the best hotel in London. The
nae doot, sir, nae doot; but We no ken
the reason?" mo, not a bit of it," re-
piled the stranger hastily. ''Weel,
then, replied the host, "as We seem
to be a sensible bit Gallant, I'll tell We.
There's 365 days in the Lunnon hotel
keepers calendar: but we have only
three months here. Dae We under
stand me moo, freen'? We maun max
hay in the Hielan' when the sun
shines for it's unco seldom she dist"
Rev. Rorie Mcpherson was the min.
lister of the kirk in the village Of
Wv in Western Ontario, and his
friend Rev. Donald Mcdonald, was
minister of Y, about ten miles dis
tant The former was holding the
semi-annual sacrament, and his friend
was to preach on the Friday night, but
owing to bad roads he did not appear
in time and the local pastor had to
take his place, much against his will,
as he had not prepared for such an
emergency. But he fell back on
very old subject which could scarcely
be called ppropriate-Luther trans
lating the bible in Warburg and the
famous scene where the devil ap-
peared to him in his study and called
Martin by name. Get thee behind
me, Satin" was the stern reply Of the
great reformer, who then threw his
ink horn at the horned head Of "Auld
Clootie,'' who took the hint that his
visit was unwelcome, but promised to
Freturn at some more convenient
season for his proposed vistim. Rev.
Rorie, anxious to pass the time till his
friend should appear, dilated at some
length on the discomfort of Luthers
living in a state of suspense, expecting
a second and perhaps more disagreed
BILE visit when he should get behind
Satin Con his back and be carried
away victim instead of being a vic
tor as in the present case. While he
was thus passing the time in some
what irrelevant language the door
opened, to his great relief, and he well
coined his friend with, Here's the gen.
tleman himself which caused the
congregation to litter, much to the sur
prise of Rev Donald Mcdonald.
E'The Laird of Cockpen 1T the air of
|
reign of Charles II, and the Laird Of
} Cockpen" is said to have been the at
tached friend of his sovereign. After
! the battle of Worcester the laird &C
} companied this monarch to Holland,
and forming one of the little court at
The Hague, amused his royal master
by his humor, and especially by his
! lc1zi in Tn MI xri11 "a
tune "Brose and Butter" he particu-
larly excelled. At the restoration
} Cockpen found that his estate had been
; confiscated, and notwithstanding his
! petitions to the King for the restora-
ton of his Inheritance he received no
response. He was also denied an
audience to his Majesty. To accom-
plish his design of obtaining an audi
ence with the King he formed an ac-
quaintance with the organist of the
Chapel Royal and obtained permission
to officiate as his substitute when the
King came to his service. He did SO,
and played the usual tunes, TILL atthe
. dismissal, he struck up the Kings
old favorite "Brose and Butter" He
he found Cockpen, whom he saluted IA
miliarly, declaring that he had almost
made him dance. II could dance too,
said Cockpen, if had my lands
again Bross and butter was success
full, and Cockpen was restored to his
possessions.
James was also under the impression
that he was born humorist, and his
, friends never succeeded in convincing
him to the contrary. But he has given
up trying to be funny now he says his
humor was the means of losing a girl
with lot of money, and he has never
. got over the blow. He explains it
this way: He was counting brokers'
, daughter. One day he called upon
her, and she happened to be at home;
, he considered himself fortunate as she
, had been out every time he mad called
Fo,, h. or s,,o -