The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-07-21
TALES OF ;CLOAK-ROOM
 TOLD BY CHAMP CLARK
Lawyers First Cases the Subject Of an "Experi. ence Meeting How General Noble
 Secured a Verdict.

Iruptons without betrayfng the least impatience or irritation. After this had gone on for some time. and people
 were wondering when things would be- gin to happen with that editor. he | again interrupted the speaker with a | long and involving question. Vest stood | quietly looking at his interlocutor until | he had concluded his question. when | just at that moment and while the au- l dience was perfectly quiet awaiting | Vests answer a little yellow, bench | legged flee came jumping up the aisle | immediately in front of the judges l stand, in which Vest was standing,
 barking furiously at him. As quick as l a flash Vest turned and, pointing his 1 finger ,at the dog, said: one at a time, I sir. You are out of your turn. Wait | till I get through with the other one:
 then I'll reply to you.
 'The scene that followed may be irI1- | agined. but cannot be described. It is l unIlecessary to. say that he was not in- 1 corrupted again during that speech" l Vests sarcasm is a terrible weapon. which he uses without mercy upon his I antagonists and sometimes upon and
 about his friends.
 One of the best stories in the exten-
 sive repertory sof Luman F. Parker. Il general solicitor for the St. Louis and San Francisco railway, is how Captain l Jefferson Johnson run for the Legis- iature away back before the war. | i Captain Johnson was one of the rep 1esentative. citizens of AIaries county.
 Mo, a man of weakth and influence. but little learning. He decided that he | would like to go to the Legislature. ! There was 10 Republican party in Ma | ries courty then. and usually . number of Democrats ran against each other Independently. In this canvass Cap tain Johnson was opposed by a man | named Graham. who had ecently come | from Pennsylvania. Graham was a l schoolmaster and a man of unusual | learning for those time.e He was also
 a ready and forcible talker and entered | the race against Captain Johnson, whose education did not extend much beyond ability to write his name, with confidence of an easy victory.
 l The campaign was scarcely under way before Graham proposed a joint debate. When this proposition was car l ried to Captain Johnson, he hesitated. 1 Captain Johnson was not exactly cer- tain in his own mind just what de- bate was. but his friends assured him that he could not well decline his oppo- | nents order.
 All right" said Johnson n his easy. | SOOQ -ndLuTeO way NOh hio" much about debating, but if tother fel- iel kin do it reckon I kin too"
 So the debate was arranged. It was opened at a big barbecue and picnic at N Lige Jones', on the edge of Lanes prai- T rie. The day arrived and with it about half the population of the county, Ora ham went to Captain Johnson and inti-
 mated that he would like to open and
 close tue debate. Johnson assented.
 You're welcome to take furst whurl at me-" he said. T guess l kin make
 out with what's left"
 It was agreed that Graham was to | have an hour to open and halt an hour to rejoin. while MT. Johnosn was to \ speak for an hour and half without l intermission. The people assembled
 about the stand to hear the flow of ora
 tory. Graham made a splendid speech,
 full of good arguments and humor.
 When his time was up, he sat down, feeling that he was already elected. Then Captain Johnson arose.
 T don't know 'zactly what I'm ex-
 pected to do," he said, but as MT: Ora
 nam has made you speech, an a mighty fine one, l guess I'll do some Uni. . SC. So I've made up my min Io let him do the speakin in this here der
 bate, and I'll do the treatin. If you fel-
 lers'll jest go over thar behind that clump of bushes, you'll find keg of as fine apple brandy as you ever tasted.
 Take the tin cup off the hook and help | yourselves.
 And Johnson sat down. The voters
 drank and ate at his expense for the
 hour he was supposed to have spoken, | and when the time came for Graham s | rejoinder it was discovered that he had
 left the grounds. It is almost unneces- l sary to add that Captain Johnson was
 elected by an enormous majority.
 Captain Johnson was blessed with a
 splendid appetite. When he got to Jeff ferson City he stopped at a boarding
 house. such as were conducted then,
 where everybody sat at long table and the landlady occupied the head and served her guests. Captain John sons first meal was dinner, and chick | en was the principal dish. The land lady asked him what part of the chick en he would have.
 "I ain't partic'ler," replied Johnson.
 Tt don't make much difference what part I begin on. I'll eat 1t all before | I'm done"
 Captain Johnson died few years ago at a ripe age and left whole quarter section of land to be divided among his numerous descendants. His | oldest son is now a member of the Ma ries county bar. His name is c. F. Johnson, which was bestowed by his
 respected sire The initials stand for California "C for Cal and F for for nia." as Captain Johnson frequently explained. Champ Clark. l STTMMERT ESS YEAR.