The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1901-07-17

hand is totally paralyzed or the supply
Of pens, ink and paper is completely
and permanently exhausted. You hear
my horn!
Colonel Anderson walked off with
a sorrowful countenance," continued
Colonel Jim, with a chuckle, mutter.
ing: "'Well, TIL be dadswizzledp and
Cockrell is still in the senate. What's
more, he is still writing letters and is
liable to hold his place till all the men
now aspiring to it are in their graves"
guess that Colonel Jim is right. In
my judgment, the man who would I'm.
dertake to get to the senate by waiting
for Cockrell's shoes is about as wise
as the fellow who didn't want to get
his feet wet by wading the Mississip-
pi and sat down upon it's bank waiting
for it to run dry. CockrelPs candidacy
for the senate is perpetual motion real
lied and triumphant.
Secret of cockreiI's Longevity.
Ponce de Leon searched in vain for
the fountain Of perpetual youth. Cock.
rell seems to have discovered it and II
is this: He is the boss apple eater of
the age. His midday lunch consists
entirely of that luscious fruit lie
knows at what fruit stands the best
apples are to be found and when he an.
proaches the capitol at morning the
pockets of his coat are buIgiag with
big, red apples. AT precisely / o'clock,
whenmore dilettante statesmen descend
to the senate restaurant to feast on
terrapin. Canyasbacll duel, deyiled
crabs and such like producers of bad
liyers and govt, the stalWart Missouri
an appeases his hunger and preserves
his digestive apparatus by retiring to
his committee room and quietly MUNICH.
ing his apples.
1.-TWO of U.s."
The subject turned on the colored
brother. Judge Griggs of Georgia said:
MANY negroes are superstitious and
believe in haunted houses. They are
also very. suspicious of cats. A cotton
to attend to his crop. A large, likely
colored man applied. The planter, who
was something of both wag and ven
triloquist, said:
81 will employ you, but have no
place for you to live in, except one
cabin, which is said to be haunted
"'Oh, I'ze not 'fraid Of hants, boss.
I'll take it,
$50 the contract was concluded. The
darky moved in, built himself a big
fire in the open fireplace and sat down
in front Of it to enjoy himself. The
planter approached the cabin, opened
the door noiselessly and put a large
cat in. 1t started to the fire. AS it
got close to Il negro the fun loving
ventriloquist made the cat appear to
say to the colored brother:
"'Howdy? There are two of us here
this EVENING"!
Cup jumped the darby, ashy with
fear, and said to the feline:
"'Foh God, cat, git out frum 'twixt
me an de doh an dab wont be but one
oh US heah in a minit! ="
The GIobe-Democrat's Dictum.
A good while ago The Globe-Demo-
crat contributed this astounding para
graph to the gayety Of nations: "Ih"
average Missouri Democrat is so lgno-
rant that he can't sign his name with
out lolling his tongue out"
Ex-Speaker Reed and Colonel James
Hamilton Lewis.
Major Mcdowell told me this exqui-
site anecdote of Hon. Thomas Bracket
Reed and Colonel James Hamilton
Lewis. Everybody knows all about
Mr.. Reed. Colonel Lewis is an exceed
ingly brilliant man, entirely sui gen.
eris. While he was always whacking
Mr.. Reed, the latter was very fond OF
him. Major Mcdowell, who is clerk OF
the house, says:
zone morning Colonel Lewis went
into the speakers room to secure rec
ognition from the chair to call up by
unanimous consent some bill OF inter-
est to his constituents. After a httle
conversation Reed drawled:
"'Well, guess l will have to grant
your request, Lewis. am not so ugly
as / look
Lewis bowed nearly to the floor
went through all sorts of genuhexlohs
and gyrations and, with a graceful
sweep of his arms, said in deprecatory
tones:
Impossible, Mr.. Speaker utterly
impossible" which amused Reed very
much, though clearly the joke was on
him. They were both great charac-
ters," continued the major 1T VIII De
n long time before we see their coun-
terparts." OhAMF Liam