davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01
Two Bsshops for Kansas

The triennial convention of the Epis-
cOpal church in session at San Fran
cisco voted to divide Kansas into two
districts, thus relieving Bishop Mills
pauRb, Of Topeka, of much srduous
work. The new district is composed OF
the western half of the state and the
headquarters Of the bishop will be at
SaIina.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01
Body of soldier brought Home.

The body Of Jay R. Young, private
who was killed in the Philippines Dec
ember ID last, arrived at his home in
OOerlin last week. The funeral was
held at O6erlin, where the young man
had spent the greater portion of his
life, last Sunday. He was . years of
age and his death was caused by a bolo
wound.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01

unfold" if he was so disposed, that
would "harrow up the soul" Of every
loyal American He may yet bowl
ball that viii knock out the whole row
of naval ninepins, and the people
would rejoice to see him do it.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01

''Fhe Newspaper Blue Book, book
let published By the United States
Press Clipping Bureau, with a list of
the best newspapers In each town and
city IN the United States. gives The
Republic as the best newspaper in
Goodland.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01
Two Girls.

@If ten men should ask you to marry
them, what would that beg"
"What would it be9"
ga tender"
"And if one should ask you, what
would that be?"
81 don't know; whatgn
"a wonder.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01

After 40 years Of honorable distin
guished service in the American navy
Rear Admiral SchIey was obliged to
listen, on the day of his retirement, to
the testimony of u naval subaltern ac-
cusing him of cowardice. Petty malice
could scarcely 90 farther.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01
Money TO Pay Warrants-

There is money IN the county treas
0ry to pay warrants up to and includ-
ing the July issue Of 1900. Interest
ceases after November 3, 1901.
IeHAR0p WARNRR. County Trsasnrar.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01
Appointed NationaI Bank E1aniner.

Elmer E. Ames, Of Norton, vice presi-
dent of the First National bank, Of
Norton, has been appointed national
bank examiner to succeed Q. S. Jobes,
who recently resigned to accept the
presidency of the American National
bank in Kansas City.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-11-01
A DANIEL come 10 Judgment

Bridgeport, Conn, Oct. 20.-Judge
Ralph Wheeler has decided that wOm-
en- are not competent witnesses as to
''jags," and has handed down an Opin-
ion to the effect that their evidence is
worthless as to conditions of intOxica-
tion.-Morning Papers.
o great o righteous judge! o jurist wise
We festive brethren laud thee to the skies.
Not since old Solomon gave pOnderOus word.
Has decision vast as thine been heard!
At one keen stroke our bonds are shOrn away,
And, freemen all, we face the jOcund day!
In future, when our wives give maddening note,
The digests of Connecticut well quote
With many hic well open up the book.
And bid our baffied, helpless partners look
Wen leave our shoes suspended in the hall,
And into bed with coat and hat Wen fall
Me drunk7 Why, I'm sho shober, honest, dear
I'm mott Well, you don't cOunt-zhust read
right herer'
o matchIess judge, o staunchest friend of men
Four million slaves were freed by Lincoln 5
mighty pen
But thou, o man of intellectual dome,
Hast freed ten million iags from chains at
home!
a-CbIcs on JOurus1.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
33. 0abitef.

1nYfor Wurnhnrht tnnr In feiu.n,
9;mmsr mil e%rsiben hsiHsft,ol % al.
S,onTsnr;isn @ m,,stsn IN iSn,'S,, Srhn,,ro NV ~.
SroHt msrnen s;ne pr, m,,hsoms s mn ,s;t. q
ra,,bsrhs M,ke;t ,unnoi ~ ,,d hi n oi nsr
oshssteHen as;t ~ mil Nisia;itn oi,,sn
r, fsIns Wr,s}tnfhs hshorfsn
- Hrs; etmnnsn ios TnItor wurobo,ht
absr ss;n,r gIrhsit sliemnnh i,6rYs III,
Gr hntts ieit ,inioer 9sit .In.n tiIM. iy
tioen 9Iifii,en,or,t ,ur Gsite. Noftcy
Menh,r NOR id,on Tano, fort ana &C.
iunnheitsriidsift,ns nm ,Inh I onSersn ru ,,nos. NO.
romnten @riinhsn yrsr fs;ms Mnai|x, iS
ann ann gieoen bot fIi,ht he,isr f.; Ssiis1
wornm ioiIts sr iid nnH ,in @ciisn.
fieher o,aroeru nni5nem ~ her Ghoisro
nIiidI;m enironnen ,norp 11nh iEneI
sntiminI,en rettets er t,on ie;nsm nsy,sr
mos nom AZ rettsr mar ,nh ishyts nsr
shr.Si;I.n moSnS., u,sS ~. ".s., 49,
aa,ns,, ,.u o,nor;ssr;,, % nox.,, G S.. ~ maS.. 49,
Nnr,or Murosoxs. v~.s ,,,,rhs ~ t.;,ss Sish.
sx.na~ MN 1;a, att has '... T., IiDsm s;osas
wn%. , n.rt"A. @ a Sas SsI MS.s;., e. " s.s,,ss Ii.i.
sS. IaS gr ho.ts Mas9'sl Eis j., s'1ss S;.
m Seu.n. a. , .u,'M; Ms.ss, H. vui,s '.s uis ~.
aDsiSsi TX '...;.s ss cs.gamsn'Iss y h ; S.ssI.n
m am1 Ivy svl.as H.. Ss " s'G saS S.s ssisa.S .sS
Sv1uDs' @ ,: :g.e on. Swa.o . % lav.sa 'pssnss w :
VI gua'e n ass.s @n..opi. s.a s.iumSe'.. mS. auo'
g e.Ms ax. %Dal:aasat Is.'.ss ss.ss ggaIa.m..' %
DeI H.g' ueI5e.ggn s1 uho -, OeISslsM ~ .oMl'is. :.
.gaI q 'lDS a'ssn, s.n u.s L.alsI.a's. m;sH -
Igm, o's s,n .s s'nma. etIabIss ,t.,xo 11o my.
w!eoer .osi!sB, Oe. esMuetss!y.Mus. s.r... s =.
Mnu. oea :. y, nSs. rs. ooIs,s .s. S'snD. e. e.
le,nem al'asn %opls gs9epsn, W g "
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

stpeds Gineebune elmer pierten @be
Elm an,tlibes Sbriftitiif perlanete.
8lumenreih flob na6 Ieiner Gerur=
tbeilune na9 Seem gorf, pD er unz
eefdbr stpei Sabre lebte. 9eine
brittle Srau tpar Die @6riftltellerin
&apfz@Hentber, Die in 8erlin unter
feniationelIen nmftanoen Selbft=
1t1Drb beQtna.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
u nfu lit.
W. 6. & =. 8abu.
u b + a q TT.

Mb abrt.
Nab @acD, Sort 8Drtb, Daltas. &anlas
gitb, ct. 2Duis unb Chicago, tdglicb,
(S. a. & y. 3. Sepot) .7:45 Mtor9ens.
9sab @acD, Sort Wprth, Dallas &c. (pDm
Sunlete9epDt ........ 800 Nbenos.
Nnfu t.:
Son Chicago, ct. 9ouis, &anias gttb,
0allas, Sort @orth unb 8aco, td9lih
(Suniet 0epDt) $3.50 Bornt.
8on 8acD, Sort Sprtb, Dallas &C. (S.
q. & u. IS. OepDt) 1920 @benbS.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

In iein blet9es @eii9t. rGs tDtrp mir
i9merali6 senug iein, @ieau berlieren,
inoeiien-"
rGerr @anitdtsrat6, tpenn i9 met.
ner pfli@t nt@t mebr geniise, bann
gebe i'd
v9lber, mein Better, tpie tDnnen Sic
70 ettuas benfen. Mbsearbeitet tute sic
iinb, leifen sic mir mod mebr, als
mande friide 2raft. Sd babe nur
.an sic geha9t. unb bann bie Soban.
interim! Marum laiien Sic bieIe nidt
9eben? Das Mdoden tuirb 3ebrfieber
betommen. iie fiebt gang barna9 aus.
l1nb lie bat In ibrem pribatleben eetpiB
8ertpanbte, piellei9t etne Mutter."
sd balte bic Sobanntterin niht,
ober Id tuerbe tbr iagen, bob lie geben
foIl."
rGdmeFer 6elene, Sic muiien fort
Starr iaben bic groben bunflen
Mu9en bem @preder in's @efi9t.
.Gort2 MesbaIbp"
sMeif Sic babeim einen Batter baben,
benz sic Sbr 2eben fdulbtg 1inb.
rnnb mo- bleiben Sie?"
.Wun-bier natiirlid. Mo benn
ionf2'
rDann bleibe t9 au1 |"
Mie ietne Mugen aufleu9teten, tpie
es ibn brdnete, lie In feline Mrme 3l
aieben. Nber tpenn GdtpeFer Qelene
ii6 In Srmgarb @9r6ber bertpanbelte
-idblinss brebte er i6r ben 9hden
uno 9ina oabon.
9lm Nbeno bieies Sases trat er tpie-
Der au ibr, unb elm frablenbes 2d9eln
lag auf ieinem @eIidt.
.Sdmeiter 6eIene, tparum tpollen
mir ilns 3u @runbe ridten. nm BET eins
amber blsiben gu f0nnen9 sd ipeiB
einen beiieren Weg: sic febren In SIR
Betbanien auriid, unb Id lafie mid in
Berlin als 9lrat nteber. Damn ieben
mir uns tdelid unb arbeiten mn ein-
amber tpeiter tpte bisber."
gtnen Mugenblid leu6teten ibre
Musen freubig auf BEL ieinem @or-
fdlas, bann tuurben iie tobestraurte
unb faben ibn flebenb an.
.Gottor Burebarbt, es III unm6g-
li9. 6aben sic Mtleio NIT mir, fub-
rem sic mid nidt in @etfu9uns. Sd
BIN einmal mir ielbF untrell getporben,
unb i9 tuerbe bafiir btiBen Biz an meiu
9ebsnsenbe. 9ab td aIs Srmearb
G&r6ber etne ganae 6iinberin 9etueien,
reut mid tuent9er, als bas elenbe 3tptt=
teripefen mid reuen tpiirbe, bas .i9
bann uerben mhBte, tpenn id Sbren
9oridlag dnnebmen toollte. Wlae mein
9era bier, tpo Gott uns auiammen.
aefiibrt. ober fern bon Sbnen bor
Gebniu9t breden, i'd mill ni9t nod
: einmal meine @elbna9tune berlieren,
mill meinen Beruf unb mettlen Grisben
/ bebolten.
$50 belfe uns Gott, uenn uniere
Nrbeit bier au gnbe 1T. 9(u9 i'd tann
mir ni1t untreu tperben.@
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
SAMOSTZ'
Pure Face Powder,

is the finest and most delicate prepare
tion, which ladies can desire for beauti
flying the complexion, imparting to it a
youthful and velvet like appearance.
For sale at Drug Stores everywhere.
Wholesale at SAN ANTONIO DRUG
CO., San Antonio, Tex,
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
geod1 einem in Qpnbpn eino

9ab einem in 2pnbDn einges
troffenen Bripattelegrantm lit @e=
neral Srenb NIT 500 Wann pdb<
reno zines bibten Webels in ben
Bergen BON ben 8uren gefanaen ge=
nomtnen tporoen. Son Seiten bes
&riegsminiiteriums miro Die Gi9=
tigfeit Der Wteloung ange5ueifelt.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
9ie iabrliden Gbanlpasner Sm'
porte.

119, AL &iiten BON g. 8.
M II m m 8 Extra Dry tpuroen i'm
Sabre 1900 importirt, B. b. 1928
&iiten mebr, als uDn irgeno elmer
anoeren Wtarfe. Oieies iit bas
6Dbite, baS ie bon elmer Gbampag=
ner=5irna erreibt tpuroe.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
@rpse 0eoth herrlht inter Del

: 8rDSe ytofb berrlht urter Den
Qrbeitern 8erlins unb anberer
Stdote in S1lge Der gebrudten @e'
f1dftslage. Geribiebene gpbes<
fdue, Die in lebter @Dbe pprfatnen,
tpurben benz 9uneer 5uaeibrieben.
Biele 2eute iino auf Die Dffentlibe
@ilotbdtigfeit aneepielen.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
Glarfe Yrimtima Gpntpamp. s
6 SpecialttGt t

Specialttdt
@eibafts=Drudiaben uno Sftlte'
Shreibtpaaren. Hronpte Geolenung
uno nieori9e Breiie.
213 E. Houston-Street, San Antonio, Tex.
TeIephp $50.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

- Der 8erliner r9ocalans." uno
Die nJranff. 8te." beitdtiaen Die
Welbung, oaB in ben &rupp' 'iben
@erfen 5000 &rbeiter entlaHen
tpOrben leien; 5000 BON bieien tpa>
rem in Der @eibiibfabrit bel6dftiet.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

= Qus Berlin nerlautet, baB bic
Ser. Staaten ben @orl9lag gema1t
bdtten, Die Summe Der BON China
81 5ablenben gntl9dbieuneen auf
f40, 100000, pber 5000, 900, 900,
feitauieben. Wan bdlt bieie Sunne
aber fiir niel au niebrig, ba &uB<
lamb allein 100000 perlangt.
8ei gleibmdBi9er Gertbeilung tpiiroe
Deutiblano babel nur f5, 900, 900
erbalten, tpdbreno es bisber fir
feline CHINA Expedition bereits II
Wiaipnen Bfuno perausgabt bat.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
Gulf Sbpre 8abn.

Nob Stofbale, tdslih, aussenomf,,en
Mntunft.
Bon Stodbale. td9lteb, ausgenDnmen
Sonntags. 300 Narbm.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

gealert= uoer 6als 6atarrb ipirb
lpfort beleitiet unt permanent furirt
burd ,,Sprp Sormalin" (Gimer
& 2lmemb). s. S. 6 6 m lot,
Nqent, 6uuiton, 9eras.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
Sener bammermbe aopfid,mera

tpiirbe Sic balb perlaiien, tpenn Sic
"Dr Kings New Life Pills"
ndbmen. 9aulenoe pDn 2eioenben
baben ibr unberglei6li6es Gerbienit
i'm Beieitieen pDn franfbaftem unb
nerp6lem &Dpfibmera 6areetban.
Sic reinigen bas 8lut unb itdrfen
bas Spftent. Sour 25 gts. Das
@elo miro auriidgeeeben, tpenn feline
6eilung erfolet. 8u baben bel s..
&alteper & @obn. 0rDauiiten.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

2emte, bic an 4lut= Mrmntb leioen,
fallen oft benz Winter gum Opfer Stdrft uno irdI=
fiet Guer Blnt ourd ben @ebraNh bon Or. Siesert 8
Nnsofura 9itters.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
Wfinipne,t ,persen tpeaaeaeben.

Sc lit tpirflib cine @enuetbuune
fir bas 8ubltfun1, penn es BON Sc
ttanben bDrt, baB er iib nidt i6eut
freieebie gu iein. Die @ieentbiimer
BON DR.. Kings New Discovery
(gegen Sbminbiubt, 6uiten uno
grfdltune), baben Ibon iiber TO-
000,0 900 BrDbe=Slalben frei tpegge=
geben uno baben babur6 Die 3ufrte=
oenbeit erlanet, baB taulenbe BON
aneeblib bDffnungsloien Sdllen sez
beilt tpDrben 1ino. = I1tbma, 8rDn=
bitis, 2a Grippe uno ale 6als=,
8ruit= unb 2unaenz2eiben tperben
burh oeiien 9lnmenbune furirt.
@enbet @ub an S. &alteper &
Subn, DrDguiiten, fir cine freie
BrDbe=Sla1be. Breis so gts. unb
81. Sebe Slai6e miro garantirt.
= Gus 8remen i9reibt man:
Ser 9Dlner Suitisflubtline Sig
numb 2Dmeneart, Der, tpie bereitS
gemelbet, BEL Nnfunft bes 2lppbs
oampferS n2abn" in Bretnerhapen
feline Slubt betperfitelligte, 1T mDgz
li9erpeiie ertrunfen. @r perlbmanb
ndmlib bon bem Dan1pfer, tpdbreno
oieier t1itten auf Der Hbebe nDr Nns
fer eeaan9en mar, unb es 1T ni9t
gut anaunebmen, baB er lbnintz
meno oas aiemli9 entfertte 2ano
erreiht baben iDllte.
Sanbbeit fanm nid)t gebeilt tueroem
our otale Mppfationen. neil lie ben tranfen Sbeil
oes Sbres niht erreideu t6nnen Sc siebt nur Ell
men Weg, Die Saub9sit 5u tlriren uno Der 1T burb
fonftutionelle Soeilmitel. Saubbeit ipro ourdb e=
; men ent5in0eten 3uitano Der idleimigen Iustle=
onng Der @uitabi6en 86bre oeruriodbt. gSenn
6ieie G6bre f6 ent5unoet, babt ibr een rumpelnben
Son ooer unpolltommenes @ebor; uno tpenn fe gang
geIdoiien 1T, erfolgt Saubbeit, uno nenn Die Gnt-
3inoung nht eeboben u,o oiele J6bre pieoer in ib=
rem geb6rigen 3ufano perebt peroen tann, piro has
geb6r fur INNER 3eror lueroen; neun G6lle unter
Sebn iperben our6 Ratarrb perurlat tpelber nidts
als elm entSinoeter 3uitano Der iblemigen Sber=
fIdhen 1T.
gBir poden eimbunbert Dollars fur jeoeu (our6
3atarrb oeruriadten) Sau BON Saubbelt seben, ben
mir nidt bur4 Ginnebmen bon SUITS 6 a.
tarrb 6 ur btilen f6nnen. Sabt Gub um=
Ionf Girculare tommen.
s. $. Cheney & Co., Soleoo, Ohio.
ss- gertauft bon alien 9lpOtbetern, 9reis Is
Gents Die Glal6e.
6aa's Gamillen= giaen anS bic bsIien
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
SDmtbera Yacific 8abn.
Wbfahrt,

Nab Netp Orleans, SouitDn uno @al<
pefton tdglib. -. 1900 Mitta9s.
Nab 81 Haio. galifDrnien unb MeTito
..................... 900 8prn1.
Naeb Norb~Seras, ct. 2ouis unb gbica<
90 Katy Flyer 800 Mbenbs.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

Ypn Noro<Seras, ct. Souls unb gbieaso
katy Flyer ..........8:30 Wor9enS.
&On getu Orleans, SDuitsn unb Col
beitDn tdglib. .4:45 Nabm.
8on gl Baio, galifornien unb MeritD
.7;3O Nbert6S.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16
g. u. & u. g. 8abm.
Wbfuhrt,

Nab @alpeitDn, 9Duiton unb guero tag
Noh Corpus gbriiti, Mranlas GaB unb
Beebille tdglib. 2:20 STADIUM.
Nab Borne unb &errbiGe, tdglieb, aus<
genommen SDnnta9s -. .2:45 Nabnt.
geab Borne nno &erruilIe, SDnnta9s :. !.
Wnfunft.
8on @aleefon, Souton unb gnerD tas<
ltD. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. ..7:OU Mben0S.
Bon Corpus gbriiti, Mranias 8aB unb
Beebille ta9lib. b...........1 1.55 Nabm.
Son Borne un6 8errnille. tdglicb, auSs
gen0mn1en Ssnnta9s. 80. 1855 80rm.
Bon 8Drne un6 &errbilfe, SDnnta9s, -.
800 Mben0s.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1901-04-16

- Cement unb 8alt bel Senrs
8aulp. Eel. So.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
A Squaw Mans Love.

W. A. Fraser, who, because oil
his virile language and fine word
p printing has been called the Anne
rican Kipling, contributes to the
November Dellneator the best sto-
ry that has yet come from his pen.
1t is entitled, "The .Offcasting OF
Nichemous," and it tell how a
"Squaw Man" is called back to his
desire for culture by some cultur-
ed neighbors only to have his as
pirations qpenched by a rebuff.
The remarkable strength of the
story is increased by excellent il.
lustrations.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
FOR SALE.-Two desirable
building lots in East Marion.
If A. H. McNeely.

WANTED.-Several persons Of
character and good reputation in
each state Zone in this county re-
quired) to represent and advertise
old established wealthy business
house, of solid financial standing.
Salary SIS per week with expenses
additional, all payable in cash each
week direct from the heal Offices,
Horse and carriage furnished
when necessary. References. En-
close self-addressed, stamped en-
velope. Manager, 316 Claxton
Building, Chicago.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24

That excrutiatingly funny farce
comedy, "They Want Me- will be
the attraction at the Marion opera
house Monday evening next. Built
for laughing purposes only, lewrit
ten by Tom Fitch, is now one of
the most laughable farce comedies
on the road, with a stronger cast
thar ever, is not to be compared
to the old version. This scream
ingly funny farce, with so many
Few situations and climaxes, deals
with a German who has suddenly
come into possession of a fortune.
Fis great antipathy for the gentle
>. prompts him to go in search
of a place inhabited by men only.
He is recommended to Independ-
ent hotel, where he goes. But up
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24

30 tB GOT TWO or THE KITCHEN CHAREs.
folks hasen't got nothin to Do But al
ways Look around fer sum new Way
to Show thare foolishness. That's what
makes me Glad haft to work fer a
Liven. II woulden't Have nothln
else to Do mebby Sumtimes l mite Git
to goin on like South Amurican Re
public too. EnDybudy what Has han
rs mulch Sentx as they are In little
Red mousetrap OF to no the twentyeth
sentcherry Can't Begin only Wunst
and that Is nineteen Hundred and
Wun."
"How Can Il Begin. thenY' nav asst
"Grate bevens." paw ansered, Can
II Be possible you are One Of the Soup
preem iddyuts That thinks 1t Begins
with Nineteen Hundred? No wunder
Our Children sumtimes Don't hardly
Seem to be Worth raisin. Now. I'll
list Sho you How this thing is. II l
am workin fer q Hundred boilers
Week and
"Oh. paw" nav Says. Don't go to
supposin Ennythlng Of that kind. 1t
ain't Ever goin to HAPPEN"
Say" paw told Her, Don't you
want to Find out about this Bizness er
not? II you Do. try to Brake the reck'
erd now by not saying nothing fer
about Han a minut and Ill sho you.
You see. II ! was goin to Ride hun
dered miles wouldent go Back and
Ride Mile before got started. would
IY
II Don't no." NAV says. IL Have
Onen saw you Do things what was
just as Hard to Explain. They are
never no Teilin what you mite Do"
'-Oh, WELL" paw Says, "thay amt
emmy use Tryin to Talk to people what
Don't no enuf to Lern things when
they have a Chanel. Sposen you was
agoin to Pay the Grocery man a Dol
Ter and Begin Counter Out pennies.
Do you Think he Would tell you to
stop when you Give him ninety Miner
"Mebby He mite Be maxim a marked
Down Sale that day." nav says.
whats the use Gitten Bothered about
It emmy Way? thot you sed people
was Silly II thay would waste THAR
time over such a thingr'
''Thay are" paw told Her, "only thay
Don't no Enun to see 1t the rite way.
Now I'm fist agoin to sho you How
this thing Is so you Can't Help but
See II.
So He got Two OF the Kitchen
Chares and stood with one foot on one
chare and the other foot on the other
Chnre.
"Now," paw told US. "sposen the
chare what my left foot Is on Is the
Sentchery and the other
one is the next one, with the first of
January Han way Between. Do You
See II all rite as Far as gotT
"Yes." NAV Says. But Don't new
er Believe In Straddlen ON these
Things. Thay Can't be two Sides to It,"
"You watch" paw sed. Il got II
Down fine. Now, sposen my left foot Is
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
A Boys Opinion Of An Editor.

In a little country school no'
far from Benton, literary exercises
are regularly INDUCED in every
Friday afternoon during the term
A twelve year old boy recently
read an original essay on "The
Newspaper This latter day
youthful Solomon treats his sub.
jeot thus:
Newspapers are sheets of pa.
per on which stuff to read is prin.
ted. The men look over the paper
to see if their names are in it, and
the women use it to put on shelves
and SIGH. l don't know how news
papers came into the world. |
don't think God does. The Bible
says nothing about editors, and |
never heard of one being in heav-
en-. l guess the editors is the
missing link them fellows talk
about. The first editors l ever
heard of is the fellow who wrote
up the flood. He has been here
ever since. Some editors belong
to church and some try to rails
whiskers. All of them raise hell
in their neighborhood, end all of
them are liars; at least all know,
and l only know one. Editors me-
YER die; at least l never saw dead
one. Sometimes the paper dies,
and then the people feel glad, but
some one starts it up again. Edi-
tors never went to school because
editors never got licked. Our pa
per is a mighty poor one, but we
take 1t 80 ma can use it on our
pantry shelves. Our editor don't
amount to much, but paw said he
had good chance when lie was a
boy. He goes without underclothes
In winter, wears no socks, and has
a wife to support him. Paw has
not paid his subscription in FIVE
years, and don't intend to-" Eek.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
Town Lots for Sale,

l have number of choice bull.
ding lots in Marion for sale. e
Charles Evans,
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24

on his arrival he is confronted by
all sorts of women who have evil
designs upon his money. All kinds
of funny complications follow and
at the expense of an excited Ger
man, silly girl, cranky old man
none too obIiging porter, an old
maid, with troubles galore, and a
score of others with whom trouble
is dealing none too leniently, you
are treated to an evenings fun,
which can only be had by witness
sing performance of "They Want
Me-" The comedy is generously
interspersed with speoialties,
which, for refinement and merit,
are not surpassed by any travelling
organization.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
First Round Quarterly Meeting
Princeton District.

Cadiz and Bethel-Oct. Is, Id.
Grand Rivers, at Paradise-Oct
10, 20.
Smithland, at Smithland-Oct. &C
81.
Smithland Circuit at Smithland-
Oct. 20, 81.
Salem, at Tyners-Oct. rs, 81.
Shady Grove, at Shady Grove
Nov. 2, 3.
kuttawa, at Glenn's-Nov. 9, 10.
mr. Lime Works, at Brandon's-
Tov. 16, II.
1, at Siloam-Nov. 23, "a.
son, at Dawson-Nov. 20, 30.
'eton, at Rock Spring-Noy.
Dec /.
vile. at Saratoga-Dec 7, 8.
assoc at Lamasoo-Deo 10, IL.
sville, at Carrsville-Dec. Ia
an, at Gave Spring-Dec.
2.
!, at Dyers-Dec. 2S, 80.
vile Circuit, at Jernigan's-
0. %, 30.
Senville, at Greenville-Dec.
20, 30.
Best line of cook stoves in the
county. Bigham " Browning.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
Farm for Sale.

A farm of Ill acres, three miles
below Nation, KY, on the old
State road running from Shady
Grove to Weston; 80 acres clear
ed; two fine orchards, good water,
good house, barn, etc. Will sell
at a bargain.
F. M. Daniel,
I'm NATION, KY.
Ties Wanted.
Wanted to buy 100000 railroad
ties: May delivery. Box 300 Oma.
be, Mob, 81
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24

Best line Of cook stoves in the
county. Bisham " Browning.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-10-24
PAWON THE CENTURY
HE TRIES TO kxFLAIN WHEN THE
NEW ONE BEGINS.

Ana Uses . Practical illustration
That Unfortunately Not Only Up
sets His Theories, but Takes n Fall
Out Of Him Too.
"Of all the slllie people ever Seem"
paw sed after rinklen his forrid A long
time, "the worst Ia the Ones what Git
to Starten Arguments about When the
'twenyetb sentcherry Begins. People
what ain't got no More sentz than to
Waste Time Over sutch Thing OF to
Have babies or sumthing In the house
30 they could keep bizzy without Coin
away frum Home to hunt fer trubble.
But the good Lord made II SO sum