Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1901-07-04
THE COCKTAIL BUG.
A Weird Performance by an Insect
That Disappeared at Will.

A Weird Performance by an Insect
That Disappeared at Will.
1t wouldn't have happened if it
hadn't been for the freshness and fri
Vollty of the bartender" said d young
cotton man who has a well-earned
reputation as practical Joker. Zone
morning, two or three weeks ago, |
dropped into the place where he
works and ordered a cocktail. He
made it and, as l was about to pick it
up from the counter, | CHANGED to look
into the glass and was Mortified to see
a huge, hideous bug of a species un-
known to me. 1t had a purple head,
yellow body and gray legs, and a less
active monster l never clapped eyes
on. 'Here! said l, pushing the glass
toward the bartender, do you put
these things in your cocktails now in
stead of cherries" What things?'
said he. Why, things like this chro-
matte kissing bug in my glass, said I.
1 can't see anything he replied, smil-
ing significantly, and by jove! when .
looked the second time | couldn't see
SAS IAlAhS lily oe4l. LIE Creature udu
vanished.
Il was so startled l could hardly find
my tongue, and the bartender contin-
ued to grin in meaning fashion.
I'd take my OATH said l, that | saw a
horrible purple and yellow bug in that
glass not ten seconds ago!' Yes, I've
seen 'em myself said the fresh bar
tender. I've even had em come up
out Of the glass and make faces at me.
It's sign you ought to change your
brand Of whisky l ignored his I'M
kind inuendo and was about to leave
| the place, with badly Jared nerves,
when the solution Of the mystery sud-
| denly appeared before my eyes. You
see, the bar counter is made of that
| spotted, variegated marble in which
| you can find all kinds of queer pat
| terms, and right there, before where |
stood, was my bug in natural mosaic.
! My cocktail happened to be directly
above it when | noticed the thing, and
it was, of course, somewhat magnified
by being seen through the convex bot
tom of the glass.
Il said nothing about my discovery
| at the time" continued the cotton
man, but next day l dropped in again
and ordered a drink. Seen any pur-
pie bugs this morning?' asked the
fresh bartender, sarcastically. Not
yet said l. At that he gave me the
| cocktail, and l quietly shifted 1t to the
right spot. Merciful heavens!'
I G,ryh
Is it a joke or d put up job to murder
me-? The bartender looked into the
glass and turned ashy. Great
snakes!' he gasped, how did that get
in there" I don't know said l, but
it's rother OF the bug | saw yester-
day, and I believe you keep 'em in
stock He grabbed the glass and
| dashed it's contents in the slop bucket.
Then he made me new cocktail,
which l drank and walked out.
Il let several days elapse," the story
teller went on, chuckling, land then
sauntered in again, at a time when the
bar was crowded. When the fresh
bartender mixed my drink he watched
me narrowly, but by a curious chance
| hC oCPoolICu LuO Sidoo I'LL CSIly oFCl
the mosaic bug. That's a nice con-
lection to serve in a cocktail said l to
| man at my elbow. Good Lord!' he
exclaimed, getting green about the
| jaws; what kind of brute is that?'
I don't know said /; some brand Of
candied microbe, l guess; they serve
it to me here regular now, although
I've never asked for it in my life Ev-
erybody at the counter crowded up to
take a look and everybody was horror
! struck. The bartender was distracted
and as soon as possible he seized the
cocktail and threw it away; but his
reputation as careful mixer was gone
with that crowd.
well, don't want to bore you with
unnecessary details, SO suffice it to say
| that | have done my great bug special
| ty four times since and have decided
to call it quits. Between you and me
have commenced to notice a wild
| look in the eye of my victim when
come into the place, and as it was no
| part of my plan to land him in pad
ded cell think it is about time to let
up and whistle off the bug l don't
| know what he'll do when he finds out
| the truth. If it was me I'd get an axe
| and leave an aching void the size Of a
bug in the top of that counter New
Orleans Times-Democrat.