Junction City bulletin. [volume] (Junction City, Or.) 189?-1901, 1901-02-07

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A Phenomenal Success: CahllI-Was
the shtrike success? Cassidy--It was.
Affher being out six weeks we suc-
caded In gittIn' back our Jobs. Puck.
Mistress (severeiy)-If such thing
occurs again. Norah. ! shall have to get
another servant Norah--I wish yer
would: there's easily enough work fer
two Of us. Tit-Bits.
She-Haye you read that continued
story In the paperY HeNot ali Of IT.
She How far did you geti Hell fin
ished the synopsis Of preceding chap
ters. Brooklyn Life.
Golf and chess: FoozieI suppose
you are willing 10 admit that golf is an
intellectual pastime? Bunker-Yes. IN
about the same sense that chess Is an
athletic game, Boston Transcript
What kind OF man is this John
SmithT sOh, he's the kind that
thinks he can hold on 10 his umbrella
by having his name engraved on the
handle. New York Evening World
Sportsman Ito Smith, who hasn't
brought down single bird all day)--
DO you know Lord Peckham Smith
oh, dear. yes; I've often shot at bis
house. Sportsman Ever hit it?-Fun.
Lucky Bingles: "BIngles is lucky
man; bis time goes right on whether he
ls waking or sleeping. sick or well"
what Is Bingies businessY' Watch
maker. = Columbus (0hio) State Jour
nal.
A scientist at work: How did you
come TO be professional beggarT' Il
amt no professional beggar. I'm EN-
played to git up statistics on how many
heartless people they is in this town
Chicago Record.
Home grown lustre: "Then you don't
bank much ON ancestral prideY' "No:
1t is more TO mans credit to start
from nowhere and be somebody than to
start from somewhere and be nobody"
indianapolis Journal.
The exact truth exacted: Caller
'You look like good and truthful girl:
tell me-is your mistress really out?
Domestic She Is. ma'am. Caller
Where? Domestic-At the elbows.
ma'am. Chicago Tribune.
We'll, Borus," said Naggus. the EN-
inent literary critic. 4 see you began
the new century right" "How's thatg'
asked Borus. the struggling author. Il
don't understand. You didn't write
any poem about it, Chicago Tribune.
A Subsidy Defined: Il see so much in
the newspapers about subsidies. What
does subsidy mean, John?" "A sub
sidy, Mary. Is where | give you twenty
dollars for going to see your mother In
stead Of having her come to see you
Denver News.
So Consoling: Lady (whose mare has
just kicked a member of The hunt, who
was following too Closely Oh. I'm SO
sorry! do hope it didn't hurt you.
She's such gentle thing. and could
only have done 1t In the merest play.
you know.--Punch.
Towne-"That boy of Jones' is older
that he looks, isn't he2 Browne-I
don't think so. Why? Towne-I saw
him out skating to-day. and he never
once tried 10 see how near he could go
to the danger sign without falling in.--
Philadelphia Press.
Useless: You didn't submit quietly
to their gagging you, did Your asked
the officers who had hurried to the
scene as soon as the robbery was over.
''No!" gasped the victim; II chewed the
rag. of course. but what good did that
doY- Chicago Tribune
What do you find in that stupid old
paper to keep you so busyf" petulantly
asked Mrs. Yonngcouple. Il was Just
looking at the money market" he an
swered. "Oh, do they have money
market? Are there ever any bar
gainsY Y-lndianapolis Press
Mr.. Sophtie-Well. Willie. your sister
aas given herself TO me for Christ
mas present; what do you think OF
hat? Willie HUH That's what she
lone fur Mr.. Brown last year. an he
gey her back before Easter; bet you'll
10 the same Philadelphia Record.
MAN." said the up-to-date maiden.
is but mixture Of arrogance. tobac-
%. and football statistics" Woman"
the end-of-the-century man.
lis no more than a compound OF vanity,
and golf poses" And then
hey were married. Detroit Free Press.
Walker The bride was quite popu-
ar girl, wasn't she? Watkinson-Y Yes.
indeed; the Evening Sacrificer sent its
'porting man to report II; he printed a
ist of rejected lovers half column
ong under the heading Among Those
Who Also Ran. st Louis Post-Dis-
10foh