The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-02-08
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meant by the father of lies? Johnny
with recent history in his mind)-Some
Chlnee, 1 guess.-Baltimore American.
A Dreadful State Of Affairs: He
| Well. we can't believe more than half
we hear. She-Oh, worse than that:
l can't believe more than half I say
| Life.
is the boss in:" asked the stranger,
entering the drug store mo" replied
the absent-minded clerk; 'but we have
something just as good. '-Yonkers
| Statesman
| Corrected.-Lady Tourist doing the
Cathedral OF ScotlanO-This is Gothic,
isn't 1T, John? Juvenile vendor of
"Guides'' (severely)-No, mem; this is
Presbyterian.-Punch.
Cause and Effect-''No wonder Gil
sey is good natured. Everything comes
his way "Perhaps everything comes
his way simply because he is good ma
tured."--Boston Transcript.
Jester-There's one good thing about
>~-- Nv - wv ~ NsAAA I ~ SuuC
shop like the mill trust, for instance.
Jenkins-Why can't it? Jester-Why
the iced melt.-Ohio State Journal.
did you ever hear anything against
his honesty?' mo, suh," answered Mr..
Erastus Pinkley. But he eats chicken
mighty regular on Sunday an he's allus
| got an umberell when it rains.'-BoStOn
Herald.
Right in His Line.-"The first Ameri-
can to enter Pckin was a soldier-mu-
stefan who scaled the wall" "Well,
say, musician ought to be an expert
on the scale, hadn't ?"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
He Tin his wrath)-When l married
you had no idea what a fool you We're.
She Gin her equanimity)-The fact that
l was willing to marry you should have
removed all doubts on that point.-Bos.
ton Transcript.
The Indignant Citlzen.-"Dotl't drag
my name into print in connection with
this absurd affair."" cried the indignant
citizen; 'but if you do, be sure to spell
out my middle name in full. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
A Rise in Life: Casey-Since the
Hoolihans got rich, sh'pose they're
troWin Oh all kinds av shtoile. Muir
phy-I sh'd say so! They've changed
tn goats name to Nannette, b'gob:-
RH1timOrn A1narican
"Stims0n is mean man. "Why
SOP Hes got a way of keeping his
wife from going through his pockets
for loose change" Flows that?" HE
spends it all before he gets home."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Resting His 'Eyes.-Exchange Editor
| am sorry to say my eyes have gone
back on me, and can't read any more
Can't you give me something else to
do? Managing Editor-You might do
book reviews.-Exchange.
Very Aggravating: Wife-Oh, doctor!
will John pull through? Doctor-Can't
say, ma'am. The crisis will not arrive
FOR ut least week. Wife-Oh, dear!
And that bargain sale of mourning
goods ends to-morrow.-Judge.
Clark wonder how man feels
when he finds himself hopelessly bank
:upt. Clerk-Say, didn't your wife
ever insist upon having the dress
maker in to make her fall clothes right
after getting home from the seashore?
Life.
Quickly Told-Friend-Wha was
7our graduation essay about? Mabel
What the Astronomers Know About
Mars" "Dear me! Why did you choose
that subject" Because didn't have
time to write much."-New York
Weekly.
The Cheerful Idiot: Il WONDER" said
he shoe-clerk boarder, "why they call
t mistletoe?" 1T is so called because
he miss'N toe the mark every time she
sees bit Of it suspended it anywhere"
said the Cheerful Acknowledgements
Press.
Tommy-Pa, what does "disagree''
mean? Pa--Well, when two people
! think alike they are said to agree.
Now, you can guess what "disagree"
means. Tommy-O, yes, that's when
,nly one people thinks alike.-Philadel-
)hia Press.
Scandal: "She seems to me one of the
most stinguished-looking young
women in Boston, "They tell dreadful
stories about herr ''1ndeed?" Eyes,
hey say, for instance, that the lenses
If her spectacles are plain glass, with
10 magnifying power whatever."-De-
rot Journal.
"See here, Willetts, hear a lot Of
you young fellows have organized a
suicide club" ''You are the fourth
nan to spring that remark on me. I
lon't see how it started. All We have
lone is to club together to do our own
cooking while our wives are away
indianapolis Press. =
1--WE are just holding love feast"
said young Mr.. Linger, audaciously, to
Mr.. Frisbie. when that father of an
engaged daughter put his head in the
,arlor doorway at 11:35 p, m. Il
thought it must be a protracted meet
1 IL = 4.