The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1901-03-09


tered all over, town, nice state of af-
fairs would exist. The doctor says the
homes of the unfortunates should be
kept as orderly houses. The police
would, of course, attend to that, but
house of the kind can be kept "ordcr-
ly'' within the meaning of the law and
yet be great source of annoyance to
the vicinity. Let us give practical
Illustration of what we mean. Let us
imagine family of a father, mother
and a young daughtey, living in their
cosy home, say on the plains. Around
the corner" some of the Iwilei beauties
dispersed from the stockade take up
their residence, and behaving them
selves quietly and not disturbing their
neighbors, they are keeping an 'or-
derby" house in the eyes of the new
Iwilei law which the doctor proposes.
One evening, when papa is studying
page 1911 of the independents city
charter, there are footsteps on the
verandah, and going to the door he
finds a chaser" who whispers: Say,
old chap, any girl alone?" Then fol-
lows naturally profane language which
ends in the good citizen" getting a
biff in the eye, and the intruder, who
mistook the directions given him in
town, disappearing in the darkness,
cursing everything and everybody, and
especially those who closed up Iwilei.
Papa puts raw meat on his eye, and
next morning he rushes to the police
station and into print. He lays his
case before Sheriff Kaulia, who cannot
help him, as the identity of the 'bf-
fer" is unknown, and who cannot do
anything about the house around the
corner because it is orderly" as the
good citizen wished it to be. The papa
writes two columns to the newspapers,
which the editors resignedly read and
put into the waste basket, having Civ
en- uD the Iwilei subject for public
discussion.
A few nights after papa has to at
tend an important meeting of the AS
sociation for the PRONUNCIATION of Ar
ithmetical and Algebraical Science
and he leaves home early, as the mat
ter to be discussed is whether three of
kind beats a "straight,"-a matter
which has been the cause of dispute
in the club since DR.. Russell discarded
Hoyle and other rulers"
Again a knock at the door and
mama answers. A cheerful voice
greets her from the dark with: Hello,
madam, any vacancy which OF course
is answered by stern: What do you
mean or want, sir?"
"Now, don't be special, old dame, y
says the CHEEKY voice again. Il have
got the dough, and if you have got
anything in trim, trot her out"
60 around the corner, you wretch "
screams the Mortified mama, while the
stranger politely says: beg pardon,
mum, but the cop told me to 60 in this
direction"
When papa comes home from the
| meeting at 211 m, thinking of how
much he could have made if he had
gone into that jack pot, he-well, let
us draw the curtain over the lecture.
But now comes an evening when
papa Las to attend meeting of mer;
chants to prevent consumption (of
Scotch and soda) and mama has to
preside at the annual meeting of the
Association of Christian Women fol
| the Propagation of Gossip, and the girl
| is home alone to finish an essay for
| the Normal School girls about John
| Smith. She does not feel lonely, be
cause she gave Jack tip that the
coast would be clear, but when she re
| spends to a knock at the verardah she
! is confronted by drunken sailor who
cries:
Hello, Susan jane | am just II
! time, see," and who forces his way
into the house, honestly believing thai
he is entering a bawdy house and moi
the cosy home of papa and mama.
The poor girl runs away, of course
and goes into Mysteries in the arms
of her own Johnnie, who falls off his
auto-bike at seeing his youthful sweet
heart running footrace with herself