Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1901-09-25
DIETARY ON THE ALPHABET.
An Invention OF Husband Alter Quarrel
A Day Of Desserts.

An Invention OF HUSBAND Alter quarrel
A Day Of Desserts.
"Got anything here beginning with
'K' that's good to eat % inquired a
new customer in Sixth avenue gro
Gerry store and meat market the other
day.
''IIow would picked kidneys an
swer ?" replied the clerk, after a mo-
ment's thought, cor, maybe, mess
of kale-"
"Say no more," interrupted the
strange patron enthusiastically, as he
fcrvidly wiped the band of his hat
with his handkerchief. "Give me a
dozen cans of picked kidneys and a
basketful of kale. The kittens life is
saved. | told my wife when l left
home this morning that if failed to
send home kangaroo dead or alive,
before 2 o'clock, l should expect to
find the kitten served for dinner in
the latest Chinese style. But your
happy thought has saved her."
"ln reply to the plying glanccs of
the grocer's assistant, the peculiar
customer went on to explain himself.
"You see we all got tired eating
the same things day after day." he
said, "and got into one of those fool
arguments with my wife about the
domestic and culinary arrangements,
and it led up to the alleged difficulty
experienced by housewives in think
ing up what to have for dinner. NY
wife took tho ground that the mere
matter of deciding from day to day
what to put on the table was down
right wear and tear on woman's
system. The statement made me
tired, and | said 80, at the same time
calling attention to the fact that in
this city there are vasts hordes of
people whose principal daily cause
for anxiety is whether they will have
anything at all to eat. took such
high moral grounds and went on at
such rate that my wife threatened
to cry about it, and said she Just
wished would do the marketing for
about month, and I'd soon change
my tune.
"Well, the upshot of it all was that
agreed to do the marketing myself
for a few weeks became reckless
and went further. l agreed, just to
show how easy the thing was, that
we would begin and eat up (or rather
DOWN the alphabet, taking one letter
day, with bread, potatoes, tea and
coffee thrown in as staples. Further
more, agreed that if didn't succeed
I'd buy new piano for the front
parlor.
"And say" continued the customer
confidcntially, as he settled himself
on barrel Of cabbagcs and took
pinch Of saurkraut out of an open
cask, "betwecn you and Pm rather
glad left that staple clause in the
agreement"
TIE NEW DIETARY SYSTEM.
"Well, inauguratcd the dietary
system with bill of fare, which, al
though bountiful, was to a certain ex-
tent vegetarian. We had apples in
many forms, apricota, picked aspara-
gas, artichokcs, almonds and the sta.
pies. the next days monu was con-
sidcrably more substantial, consisting
Of beef, beans, black bass, bacon, bis.
cults, blncfsh, buttermilk, bccts, bon
bons, butter and batter cakes. NV
wife and family protested that the
dinner lacked homogcneity so to
speak, and bordcred on the arratic,
but this was just what I was striving
for. Originality, declared, was nv
watchword.
"Thc next day was even better.
We fairly riotcl on chicken, oucum.
bcrs, goldfish balls, celery curry,
CLANS, cheese, cauliilowcr, crabs, cab
bagc, cake, carrots, caviar, corn,
canned cherries, consommc, catsup,
calf's head and candy. 1t looked
like cinch for me- My wife hintcd
at dyspepsia and indigestion, but |
retortcd that she was envious.
eve Gained down a littlo the next
day, partaking of roast duck, dough-
nuts and dumplings. We made
Easter of the next day with eggs in
every conceivable form. I added vari-
city with dish of egg plant and
liberal allowance Of fried cells, 30 that
after all it was really varicgatcd
monn