The Iola register., 1901-05-03

flector wants to know if lettuce blush
es when it sees salad dressing.
Will White is trying to inject the
faith cure into the doubters of Empo-
ria who are skeptical about the build
ing of the new road.
John Cooper while standing on his |
porch in Wichita during thunder
storm April 81 was struck by light
ming and instantly killed.
Atchison Globe: When there is
high wind, it discloses the fact that
lots of stockings are worn that look as
If they are on their last legs.
There was doubtless method in the
madness of the easy-going Galena
voters who elected chief of police
who weighs 24O pounds.
1t is not surprising to learn that the
name of the young farmer boy near
| Independence who unarmed caught
nine wolves is Jim Cracker.
An Emporia boy says a girl of that
town looks like Heaven. In case she
turns him down the Gazette wants to
know what she will look like, but re-
quests that all do not answer at once.
Alaundress at Winfield says she can
tell whenever u young man falls inlove
! by the large increase in his soiled and
crumpled collars.
An entire Ottawa neighborhood is
criticising youth who calls on his
girl seven nights weekly. They think
even u savage would allow her one
evening in which to eat green onions.
Aguinaldo Cooper, probably the
only person in Kansas named after
the Filipino leader, died at his home
in Elk City aged one year, on March
27, the day news came of Aggie's cap
ture.
There is some talk Of having the
mothers society of the State go
through the wheat fields and comb the
lice from the wheat heads with fine
tooth combs, as they once did their
boys.
The Lawrence Journal suggests that
If the Alumni of Harvard University
object to the bestowal of the honorary
degree on president Mckinley, posi-
bly, they would consent to give it to
Aguinaldo.
Two negro women of Leavenworth
held up a youth from Weston, Mo-,
and robbed him of all his money, five
cents. 1t will be lesson to the guile
less Missourians not to carry such
large sums on their travels.
Mrs. f.. f. A. Drake, of Eureka,
has won prize of 81 900 for an essay
on "What a Girl Ought to Know"
written for an eastern journal. Now
If she will add as sequel: "What a
Boy Wants to Know" her fame will be
secure.
Veterinary surgeons report a great
er proportion of still-born colts, calves
and pigs this spring than ever before
in their experience. They do not know
how to account for it. 1t is probably
Natures way of keeping the Kansas
farmer from getting to rich.
The Blue Mound Sun says James
Sanders of that place has gone to
raising skunks for their fur" This
explanation Is superfluous asthe skunk
has but two idiosyncrasies, fur and
] fumes, and the hand of man is not
. needed to get him to raise the latter.
The truthful editor of the Summer
3 field Sun declares that a farmer up
there lost COW in a queer manner
, last week. The animal, in rummaging
through kitchenfound and swallowed
! an umbrella and cake of yeast. The
: yeast fermented in the poor beasts
stomach, raised the umbrella and she
died in great agony.
+ Editor Davis, of the Oketo Herald
J went to church Sunday and then wrote
q of what he saw. He said he saw peo'
pie there who bowed their heads low
but were hunting a text or were asleep
1 when the box was passed. OF these he
says 'their souls would have as
r much play in flea's gizzard as would
a cat fish in Lake Michigan"
The soda ash industry, which at
t presents confined entirely tothe towns
e of Syracuse and Detroit, is to be en-
Q gagged in upona large scale at Hutchin-
, son. E. M. Holbrook, general man
ager of the Independent Salt company
, here, is now in the east making ar
i rangements for establishing the plant.
The proposed plant will employ from
j 500 to 600 men.
. Kansas would respectfully call to
, the mind of those old sissies back in
Boston who are shocked at the craft
of Funston's method of catching Ag-
| uinaldo, that some time ago the an
tGSlOTS Vi lut SNGllS vi Jlt lpdNh la y
district masqueraded as Indians and
did little stunt in the deception line
l of which the weak stomached descen-
; dants have never yet ceased to boast.
Well, for heavens sake, just look
ut this from the indianapolis News
"Crawfordsville, Ind.-The Elks have
, finally received letter from Carrie
} Nation saying that she will positively
3 agree to attend the Elks' celebration
on July 4, provided the proper ar
} rangements can be made. On this oc'
casion she will smash an artificial ban
set upon a grand stand, to illustrate
how she does her work in Kansas"
: A new state law, passed last winter
provides that no wife, widow or chill
dren of a soldier shall be sent to a
poor house; and it is made the duty OF
the poor commissioner, in each county
= to not only supply the necessaries OF
life but home If the family has nc