davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
LOOKING BACKWARD,

Dobbs met his friend Turner in the
train. They were both going to Lon
don, and stopped at the same hotel.
Turner registered his name:
''E. K. Phtholognyrrh.'
Dobbs noticing it, exclaimed:
Here, what are you assuming such
a foreign, outlandish name for? Are
you in any trouble?"
''Not bit Of it," replied Turner;
land I am not assuming any foreign
name" g..
What kind of a name is that?" de-
manded Dobbs.s> 49,, ~. ~
THAT is my Identical old name
Persisted Turner, "and it is English,
too-pronounced plainly Turner"
Il can't see how you make Turner
cat of those thirteen letters: Besides
What is your object in spelling that
way?" asked Dobbs.
We'll, you see, nobody ever noticed
| my name on the register when I wrote
it Turner" exclaimed the latter; "but
since commenced writing it ''Phtholo-
gnyrrh' l set them all guessing They
| my name is, I can now hear people
! talk about me all around. It is as 1
said before, English spelling. 'Phth,
there is the sound Of It. in 'phthisis;
'olo,' there is the 'ur' in colonel;
en- there is the n in *gnat;; 'yrrh' is
the sound of 'er' in 'myrrh.' Now, if
that doesn't spell Turner what does
it spell? "-Tt-Bits
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
SHE SAVED MONEY.

She heard him rummaging around
in the attic. Then his strident, rau-
cous tones came drifting down the
stairs.
Where in thunderation,'' he
groWled, sis that last summers fedora
shaped straw hat O. mine?"
THE time has come" she murmured
hoarsely to herself, and then she
donned a fedora-shaped straw hat that
was hidden behind the piano. 1t was
wrapped around with liberty silk, and
it looked bully on her fluffy hair.
Here it is" she said, when she got
to the top Of The attic stairs. II
cleaned it with lemon juice and fixed
it for myself. Saved you S1735 for a
spring hat. Like it?''
Then the man was unreasonable and
churlish enough to storm and to de-
mand of her when she intended to be-
gin wearing his shoes and smoking
his pipes. r..
Few married men have sense enough
to know when they've landed rights
Washington Post.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03

I'm
And doubled
AheyI n1 they'll
III 4
But let smie-In goin' Pm
nobody I've ennt
But somebody's l full Of JOY when she
Tn goin back for had awwhat
The Still the place
ana won be lonesome
n
There amt no hundreds Of thousands
o
or the one that's josted day after day with
There amt lonesomer place
I'm gon back where the asleep kitchen
With pushed Of
= # X
dollars all
And forgive fellow
hustle and themselves
And honor codn' to the he's
Tn gon popars in
Where the birds singn though they hired fill the air
With nobody
where they'll kitchen
I'm courn the girl llove because Pm
Where the EMIL instead Of letin
That they think the they've blame sight
I'm gon back you'll
SIoln to and then gon homehe day by
you'll think I'll
I'm gon back
they that
they'll did
But ee be noddin to when
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
THE STRENuOUs ERA


"Public writers and speakers who
are followed by the general public,
catch on to certain word or phrase at
certain periods as a boy catches the
measles said well known Washing
tonian, according to the Star Of that
city. -.
1T is strenuous now. For the last
few words the prime favorite has been
passing. If a man died headline to
his death notice was like this:
The Passing of Hoodle Foodle.'"
The passing of the old century was
an opportunity seized upon as a girl
seizes a peach ice cream on a warm
day. Epochs, periods, ideas, modes Of
dress, customs, cowboy, frontier bad
men, comic opera, and pretty much
everything else was passed.
Its all right, proper and gram
NAUTICAL, and l call attention to the
habit not for the purpose of criticism.
But a new child is born. Everything
and everybody is strenuous now,
from a mans vigorous temperament to
dog fight.
We'll have strenuous administra-
ton, strenuous president, strenu-
Gus vice president, strenuous foreign
policy, strenuous campaign, strenu-
Gus new congress, and we will lead
strenuous lives. But it does not alter
the frigid fact that some of us have a
chase for the strenuous copper cent,
all right
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03

ton, the bank at portions shaded,
seemed cool and pleasing to the eye,
a striking contrast to the sun reflect
ing rocks. Itzlay just "a hundred yards
away and to cross that hundred yards
might cost your life; so it might as
well have been a mirage for, all the
good it did the 40 thirsty men on the
hilltop. We waited for troops to
reinforce U.S., waited and waited all
that day. -I>- 49,
1t was rocky place and seemed as if
it had been baked and baked centuries
perhaps in that fierce sunlight till the
rocks became glazy hot, the shrubs
Withered and the ground dry and pow
derry. AS if to make it worse for us,
"Grumbler" Doyle had been hit;
"Grumbler" had got it at last as often
prophesied. He was shot through the
chest in such a way as to make it i'm
possible for him to live. Doyle was a
big, blustery man, who would growl
whether the officers backs were turned
or not; so in measure he was brave
man, as you will agree if you ever
have soldiered. - %.--
We made him as comfortable as pos.
sible in the almost imaginary shadow
of large boulder and gave him little
by little the few hot drops of water left
in the canteens. The wound started to
trouble him after the water ran out,
1t was bad enough for us; the brain
seemed dulled, the mouth grew
parched and the eyes hurt from the
glare. But to be in the sun hour after.
hour with a hole in the chest must be
maddening. It is bad thing, hole
drilled by Mauser; it is as clean and
complete as you might imagine. And
there on that hot ridge we had to STAY.
the lifting Of a hand would bring a
shot,
For while he lay quiet Nothing
was to be heard but an insects drone.
while above us in the blue sky a vul-
ture wheeled in wide circles and watt
ed. Off there, black against yellow
ground, lay two heaps, one spraWled
and tangled, picturing our probable
fate.
Suddenly the wounded man gave
whining groan and started to babble
foolishly. First it was a silly flow of
disjointed words and sentences, par
TALLY unintelligible, punctuated by the
whining means Then he talked of
friends and home he once had "back
East" Now he recalled old Incidents
and laughed a painful cackle over
boyhood trick. Then he talked Of
trouble, pleaded with woman and
quarreled with a man. His life had
been bad one, though some of us
never believed all told Of him, but now
we heard it all from his own lips and
pitied him, for in his wandering talk
he told of things sacred even to-
scoundrel. It was. a simple tale OF a
mans wasted life, the fruits Of which
had driven him to the army, but there
memory followed and made a bad SOL
der out OF great strong material.
e Once he started TO gamble Just as
had often seen him gamble, on the
quiet at barracks; hand after hand he
dealt and won and lost. Now he was
telling faVorite story over the liquor.
But he always came back to the bad
life and cursed In horrible strain
| himself and those who had helped him
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
One Sprawled, One Tangled.

It was his first serious lecture, brief
one, but convincing, complete. Perhaps
1T will have more weight if stated it
was his last.
After a quick march in the hot sui
try morning, when the sun made even
the hat upon your head seem heavy,
and the rifle weighed pounds upon
pounds, We rushed through a ragged
line Of trees out into the open toward
Ia small ridge, from the top of which
little puffs of white few and dull re-
ports sounded, while the sharp crack
,of tWigs behind us proved bad mark
tmanship. But once man fell all
;spraWled out. When we reached the
ridge | remember looking back and he
had not moved, still spraWled out, face
downward in the dirt, with second
tangled heap near him.
We had driven them off the ridgetop.
ia little feat that cost two men their
lives, only to have them stop obstin-
sately at another some zoo yards the
other side Of al narrow stream that lay
before US. Its thick tropical vegeta-
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
HAD A CORNER IN CORN.

80
Durndest experience / ever had
SAID the old farmer, who was caution
Ing his son against speculation. s. Come
mighty nigh running me- You fellers
here in Detroit don't know nothin'
oout It. You kin squirm an wriggle
an git on yer feet someways, but there
me an Jim was out there in the las
row o townships with no bank fur to
draw on an both our farms mortgaged
up to the han lie. :"
How did it happen, dad?" inquired
the son, who had been on the right side
OF the market often enough to make
himself comfortable. h
Me an Jim started In fur to cor
ner corn. | see piece in the county
paper tellin' how the thing was done,
an, read it to Jim. Jim was the all
nredest excited man you ever saw,
and calculated that there wasn't nuth-
IN anybody else could do that me an
him couldn't do. So we slips round
an bought in all the corn in the coun-
ty, payin' an average of IS cents a
oushel. We only give out cash where
we had to and the rest got our lint
notes. It jest bout filled up Jim's
double-decker barn, and when the stuff
was all cornered there we sat back and
counted up what we was a goin' to
| make. ...s- ~-.s .>..- -.
Ike Simmons kim round and want
ed ter git ten bushels ter keep fer
seedin'. asked him a plum dollar a
bushel and tole him he needn't take it
less he liked. We argied and then we
cl1nched, and he was wrapping me
round apple tree when yer nav in
terfered. Me an Jim had four or Ave
pitched battles like that and was fig
urin' on gittin' shotguns at wholesale
by takin' two when we found out that
all the farmers were up there buyin'
corn from the counties j'inin'. They
were SO dinged mad they wouldn't give
us'nothin' fur ours, an we had to haul
1t sixteen miles and sell it to banker
with a elevator fur twenty cents a
bushel. Took me ten years. hard labor
ter git even, and I never had no use
fur corners Or spectators, or bankers
since. Keep outen it, me boy."-De-
troit Free Press.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
Altogether Novel.

AS for blouses of lingerie materials,
they will be altogether novel when
worn with a corselet skirt of black taft
feta, which will lace or button in close
princess lines or in loose folds that
will be drawn up high over the bust:
The blouse Of white lawn is tucked
and lace inset to marvellous degree,
and the sleeves, tucked down from the
shoulders, spread into simply enor-
nous bishops, which are gathered at
the wrists into a deep f1ounce of lace
that entirely covers the hands. f
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
Riding Bicycle on Railroad.

$40 = 4
A genius has invented an attachment
for a bicycle which makes it possible
to wheel along a railroad track at a
high speed without chance Of umbling
off. This invention consists Of a small
wheel attached to three pieces of steel
pipe. The latter can be screwed to the
bicycle or detached at will. The small
wheel, which has large fanges, rests
on the off side of the track, and the
bicycle glides along gently, the rider
leaning Slightly toward the center of
the rails. This machine has been
tried on all kinds Of curves and found
to work successfully. The rider can
lift the machine from the track in a
few moments, and with it he can make
fifteen miles an hour with ease.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
TIE GEORGIA NEGRO.

An old Georgia negro rose in pray
er meeting the other night and said:
"Bredderin' and sisterin', been a
mighty mean niger in my time. I had
q heap er ups an downs specially
downs-since 1 jined the, church.
stoled chickens and watermiliins; I
cussed, I got drunk; I shot craps.
slashed udder coons wit my razor, and
| done a sight err udder things, but
thank de good LawdL bredderin' an
sisterin', I never yet lost my religion"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
The Band Lied.

copyright, 1901, by Daily Story Pub Coz
Q To sum it all up, the volunteer may
be divided into three distinct classes
those who follow the drum from
sense of duty, heroes; those in search
of glory, fools; together with a few
rascals and unfortunates, who for,
strictly personal reasons wish to hide.
The first two predominant, and while
many arguments may be brought for
ward to show they are not, Judging
from motives alone, heroes or fools,
hot campaign soon proves the truth of
the assertion. A hot sun, an empty
stomach and a vivid view of death
is enough to convince any man. The
third class has nothing to hope for,
nothing to regret. The favored few
reap fame, all reap hardship and i'll
health, while the life often generous
ay provides an unmarked grave for the
majority
Jim Doyle, private, always argued in
this fashion, and was rewarded with
the title Of "grumbler" for his pains;
hut after his lecture on the ridge that
day have no doubt, the men of the
Sixteenth thoroughly agreed with him.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
Artificial Marble.

Manufacturers are actually making
marble by the same process by which
nature makes it, only in a few weeks.
instead Of a few thousand years. They.
take a rather soft limestone and chem.
ically permeate it with various color
ing matters, which sink into the stone
and are not a. mere surface coloring.
as in scagliola. The completed material
takes fine polish, and many of the
specimens are of beautiful color and
marking. Used as a veneer, it is about
one-third the price of natures marble.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
FREE HYDROGEN IN THE AIR.

Recent experiments by Professors
.DeW eva ]. I. and Lliveing have dem onstrated
the existence in the atmosphere Of q
sensible sens proportion Of free hydrogen.
The presence Of free hydrogen In the
air has not heretofore been satisfactor-
lily shown. It is regarded as probable
that on account Of the high velocity OF
the hydrogen molecule, free hydrogen
cannot be permanently retained by the
earth, and that there must be a cons
tinual accession Of hydrogen to this
planet from interp netary space.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
HE sOMETIsfEs MIssED 1T.

He had given up his seat in the
street car to a woman and stood hold
ing on to a strap for a couple Of min
ntes. Then a puzzled look came to
his face, and he turned and queried:
Did / give up my seat to you,
ma'am
You did. sir, and I'm much obliged, :
she replied.
4 thought / did, but 7 wasn't quite
sure. I'm rather absent-minded at
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
70 It; 1t made my blood run sold to
listen. Then he prayed long.
rambling, pleading prayer prayer

l1SIeu.3zE g u6uS 81 ne 5 pIaySus q lO1lo,
rambling, pleading PRAYER prayer
for water.
And Just one hundred yards away
was a stream; we could hear the
water ripple among the reeds, and Dy
looking cautiously could see the sun
lights CLINT upon the surfaee-yet
In the same glance we could see the
other ridge and the wheeling vulture.
My GaWd ha' mercy on nle-per-
haps said a man.
He raised his head above the ridge
top-there vas puff of white and
furroW in the dry ground by his hand.
He was but a man of flesh and blood,
SO he craWled back again, and: though
he never went, he was hero, thai
fellow. g
And as the shadows grew longer and
the sun another tint of red, the wound
ed man started to sing. All out OF
tune it was, in a strange, unnatural
shrilly voice, the words jumbled and
twisted: .t =
Oh! eighteen hundred and six-ty-one,
hurrah-hurrah!
We all set out to folloW-the drum
| hurrah-'rah! IL
An We'll all be gay Whe-en- al
He stopped, and, gazing straight be-.
fore him, an ugly grin on his face, his
| voice sounding much the same as
when on a spree, said: "A
Why can't they come and fight
their own battles. They make
! speeches fast enough and Stir it all
| up like a boiling pot-round an round
an talk of the flag-an' Of patriot
! in the chest. They're all crooked
! the whole set. #> 5sS
can what's it all fer-ye go through
a hot campaign with the brownies,
/ lghtin' fer the flag while it staryes
yer-an' if they don't shoot We dead
the flag brings We home in leaky tub
an there We goes a-marchin' up the
avenue, with the great white roof all
yeller in the sun. A hot campaign and
a hole in the CHESTER a yell from the
crowd, thirteen per and wave from
a lady's white handkerchief. An the
corporal says Dress ranks!' and We
march like peacocks, while ahead the
band plays: 49,. - -s...
"An' we'll all be gay when Johnnie
|, s.. comes marching home,
Oh! in, eighteen hundred and sixty
one. Hurrah! 'Rah! -
%"Wot about us fellars% wot don't
march home; wot about the woman
| IL, thu ,hNs ho CD r,l1
files by, finds the band has lied?"
His head went back, a yell from
the woods told us the boys were COM
ing up. Suddenly, sitting up straight,
he baWled out: -
% 'em; they'll never march me
up the ave-n-" " r.. z=1.@
4: It was summer and the avenue lay
all yellow in the warm sunshine, while
! far ahead the majestic dome Of the
capitol doomed against the blue
! . ''Dress ranks" said the corporal.
"An' we marched like peacocks, 'Eand
the crowd on either side cheered and
cheered, and the ladies waved their
white handkerchiefs to the bronzed
and wrinkled lines Of men. Then Ia
band played, and, as heard the faint
/ tune, I thought of man we had left
on the rocky ridge, and I looked for
a watching woman in the crowd, for it
seemed as if I could see again the
wheeling >vulture and the man
csprawled out in the yellow dust, and
could hear above the waters ripple
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
- ad
Y - afl1|fS; > ~ -
les, you know. Did I get srn at

tin times, you know. Did I get up al
once?'
Yes, SIR"
And the seat is all right?'
Yes, sir, sezg& i
am glad. Do you know that out
nome the other day was sitting on
the fence and a cow came up and stood
before me for ten minutes, and my
wife was telling me afterward that I
neither raised my hat nor asked her
to, take my seat"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03

Mani1a's population is found to be-
241,,732, which gives it place next
below that Of Newark, n. j., or seven
tenth from the top in the list OF cit
les Of the United States.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
LITTLE LAUGHS.
HSSF|
%+H-i'
Losar1a Ratart.

% ~ 3 - g..
~ have broken the housed" dried the
jubilant winner, raking over great
stacks Of green currency.
Pardon mel" said the dealer, "but
/ see you are from Chicago"
How do you know?"
why, because you are a house
breaker 80
It is needless to add that the sequel
was a duel in the grove.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03

Freight rates from Manila to Hong
kong distance Of only 700 miles,
are as much as from San Francisco
to Hongkong, q distance Of {, 1000 mileA
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03
Optimiim.

The pessimist laughed sardonic
laugh.
eve are wretchedly wealthy as a
peoplei" ne exclaimed.
Yes, yes!' replied the optimist, ex-
citedly. But the case is not nearly 40
bad as 1t would be. If everybody who
had chance to buy the present site
OF Chicago for $40 and a red Blanket
had done. so!'
The pessimist made light Of this, but
is ever the weapon of a weak
cause. Detroit Journal.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1901-08-03

They'll Never March Me-"
among the reeds the strange whining
song OF the wounded soldier. "
An we'll all be gay When Johnnie
comes marchin' home. y
The man on my right must have
been thinking the same, for he said,
though the corporal growled at him
for it:
D 'em, if they'll march me up
the avenue!''
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-04-22
STEAMSHIP TICKETS TO EUROPE

Via all leading lines at lowest rates.
Cooks personally conducted tours.
| Information cheerfully given upon ap-
plication to @. D. Honodle, ticket
agent, Union depot.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-04-22
GRADES
Will Not Exceed One
Per Cent.
Survey Completed Twenty Miles
East of Akron.

G. w. French, president of the Rich
land & Mahoning Railway Co.. is in
Columbus on business in connection
with the company, says the Columbus
Citizen.
James p. Wilson, the general counsel
of the company, said this morning that
the company had just completed a sur
vey of the line distance of twenty
miles east of Akron in the direction of
Niles, and that no part of the grade
exceeded one per cent. He asserts
that it is the best grade and that the
road will be the finest in this respect
out of Akron.
1t was also learned today that the
case commenced in War
rem to secure the unused p, G. & L.
roadbed in Trumbull county, has been
continued lor period Of 80 days in
order to secure service on President
Cowen.
Attorney Wilson says everything in
connection with the proposed road is
progressing famously, and that the two
corps of serveyors are working every
day to accomplish the big task ahead
of them.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-04-22
7. E. WELLS ESQ.
He May be Appointed Police
Prosecutor.

1t was stated Monday by one who
is not far from the throne that It. e.
Wells, Esq. has pretty good chance
of being appointed Police Court Prose
cutor. Mr.. Wells is manager of the
Collection department of the j. F..
Seiberling & Co, and has been promi-
nent in the Young Lawyers Republi-
can club, among whose members there
are numerous other aspirants for the
office.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-04-22
RECORD
AS a Maker Of
Trouble.
Mrs. Bergdorf Had This
Distinction.
Had Her Husband Called
Into Court,
But He Was Shown to
be the Injured One.
Officers Had Fight to Remove
Children From Her Care.

"I've had more trouble with that
woman than any other who has applied
for aid from my department"
So said Uncle Joe Kendall in speak
ing of Mrs. Frank Bergdorf, whose
husband upon her complaint was oblig-
ed to answer in Mayors Court this
morning to a charge of non support.
"She gets drunk" continued Uncle
Joe, "neglects her children, and ap-
plies for aid which she would not
need if she behaved herself and took
care of what her husband provided,
In Mayors Court, when it was an
nounced that the case would be con-
tinued until Wednesday, the woman
got up, and crying, Il amt got no
coal, and what am | to do?" bolted
out of the door in q towering rage.
Mr.. Bergdorf said he was willing
to take the children away from their
mother and provide them good homes.
He claimed he had given his wife
plenty of money to run the house, but
that she had spent much of the mon
ey for liquor, and would occasionally
lock the children in the house and
leave them.
The husband was given permission
to take the children away, and in COM
pany with Officer A. Mcconnell, he and
Assistant Poor Director Manderbach
went to the Bergdorf home, near lock
s, to remove them. MS. Bergdorf had
preceded the men to the house and
refused to surrender the children, two
in number She became hysterical
when an attempt was made to take
them, and grasped both in her arms.
One child was aged four, and the other
Is months.
NTn(tnnnoll in
ed to hold the woman, while Assistant
Manderbach removed the children from
her arms.
Don't act that way" said Bergdorf
to his wife, while she resisted the
officers, "rhese men are officers"
II don't give what they are"
was the reply.
One of the children was taken to the
home of Bergdorf's mother in this
city and the other to the home of
his sister at Halo.
Uncle Joe informed a Democrat re-
porter that the woman had been mar
ried several times and was the mother
of at least 16 children, all but three
of whom are dead.
The children all have good homes
now-two in this city and one at
Halo. A former husband of the wo-
man died at the Infirmary. She and
and Bergdorf We're married five years
ago.