The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-10-10


Mrs.. GasweIi- The Gar Of Russia
now has four daughters. Mr.. 0asweu
-Oh. the dear little Czardines!
Clerk suppose you want grand
piano, madam2 Mrs. Wyndfall dis
dainfully) Grand. want q magnif-
cent one.
A Bald Assertion: Barber-Your hair
will be gray IL It keeps on. scanty-
locks-Well hope It win keep on
Baltimore World. z.s
She-So you went to see Hamletf Do
you think Hamlet was madf He-l
expect 20. There wasn't over thve
pounds in the house.
Friend-Each side Of the question
presents difficulties. Statesman-Ex-
actly! I think I'll take bold stand on
both sides Of the question.
Minister Bridget, these potatoes
taste mouldy. Bridget-Yis, sorr. Ol
dare say, sorr-they set mkt to your
barrel o. sermons In the suller.
II q doctor will whip his horse into
mad gallop just before he turns the
corner to a woman patients home. he
will always keep her practice.
Pertinent and Impertinent: Doctor.
your tonic made a new man OF me-"
"a new man7 Well. how is he of
financially p Chicago Record Herald
Ferdy-How much does 1t cost per
mile to run your auto? Algy--Well; It
costs about a cent mile to run It,
and about ten dollars q mile to repair
It .I -. 1 s
what are you doing thereT cried
the farm dog as he observed the hen in
the coal bin. "Oh, thought this was
q good time to lay in coal" cackled the
hen.
Kind: Mrs. Kingley-The dressmaker
says she won't make me another gown
unless you pay her bill. Kingley-
That's good of her. God bless her,
Life.
Tough Party Tin hardware store)-l
wanted buy dog muzzle, see? Clerk
(afably)-All right, sir. What size do
you wear7-University of Chicago
Weekly.
There IL no doubt that this scheme
will pay" said the promoter. "Yes."
answered the purchaser of stock. Il
suppose 30. But whosis to get the
money!
Staidhome Ceiling the news Of the
village)-My nephew. Clarence Tum-
water, has become finished elocution-
list. Beenaway-That So? XIII him
yourself?
"Our college colors are pink and old
gold" said Miss Frocks. Our college
colors were black and blue when was
initiated into the secret society,"" added
her brother.
"Who Is the smartest boy In your
class, Bobby?" asked his uncle. I'D
like to tell you, Uncle" answered Bob
by, modestly, 'only papa says l
mustn't DOaSt.
Bought Medicine Himself: 'Pve just
been drugged and robbed" said he; Il
think 1t Is a shame!'' The officer just
yawned and said: What was the drug
gist's nameT-Life.
Ma-It's time we thought Of Grace
getting married. She is already ~
years old. Pa-Oh. let her wait till the
right sort Of man comes along! Ma
Why wait? l didn't.
I don't mind it under certain condl-
tions." replied the canal boat mule.
'You don't appear to like your exer-
else on the towpath." mo. That's
where draw the line"
Hostess-Dear me! what shall I dO3
Husband-Do? What's the trouble
now? Hostess-Why. our guest, Mr..
Stout, Is 80 fat, and have nothing but
q spare room to put him ln.-Illustrat-
ed Bits.
Chappie--1d Just like to know what
you mean by being engaged to both
Cholly and me at once. Miss Pinkie-
Why, bless me! there IL no harm done;
you can't either Of you afford to marry
me. you know.
General-Stop that reporter. Aide
What! Don't you want him to send
home an account of your heroism? mo
I don't want to be an American hero
for week and punching bag for the
rest Of my life"
He was obviously anxious. and she
seemed almost willing. II shall refer
you to papa" said she. with q becom-
ing blush, before giving you a final
answer" "But I, am perfectly willing
to take you without any reference /"
said he, magnanimously. -
Management: .Don't you think you
lose patience with your husband on
rather slight provocationl'. said the
near relative. ~ have to provoke him
sometimes.", was the placid answer.
$50 that he viii lose his temper. and
then give me anything want 30 as to
atone Tor the way he has acted" (.
..Huhr' exclaimed Mr.. Rox. after
reading his morning mail, 'our boys
college education u making. him too
blamed smart" sWhat's the mAtterS''
asked Mrs. Rox. Il wrote to him the
other day that thought II would be
kinder for me not to remit the check
he asked Tor. Now he writes: Dear
Eather-I shall never forget your I'M
renting Kindness