Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1901-02-09
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rs Miss Triller an obliging SingerW
ooh, yes; half the time she refuses to
sing" Bulletin.
1T is folly to meet Old Age half way"
II think so; l wouldn't meet him at all
II knew how to get out of it,"
"'Pay as you 60 is my rule" Eyes;
so many people won't believe you when
you say you'll pay as you come back"
"Why do you call that specbled hen
'Macduff' and the pig 'BarkisY" "Be.
cause Macduff lays on aud Barkis is
swillin'. Life
Myer-I wonder what causes concus-
sion of the brain? Gyer-A collision
between two trains of thought, l sup
pose.-Chicago News.
Bride formerly a widow)-Oh. Harry,
what would | do if you should die?
Harry (doubtfully)-I don't know, dear,
but | think | can guess.
who was William the Conqueror,
'Sammy?' asked the pretty school
marin. Mckinley" replied Sammy"
romptly.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
He-I point out your faults because
/ love you. She4-Nonsense! If you re-
ally loved me you would think my
faults were excellences.-Chicago Rec
ord.
The Parent-My boy, do you want me
to tell you what happens to boys who
tell lies? The Boy-Yes, pop; but,
golly! can you remember back that far?
-Yonkers Statesman.
Mr.. Meddergrass-Well, them New
York folks has certainly gone the limit
now. Mr.. Crosslots-What they doin'?
Mr.. Meddergrass-Goin to have
horseless horse show.-Baltimore Amer
lean.
MISUNDERSTANDING, MuggIns Minor,
what were the thoughts that passed
through Sir Isaac Newton's mind when
the apple fell on his head? Muggi1s-
/ expects he wuz awful glad 1t warn't
brick.-Fun.
"All the worlds a stage" "All the
worlds a stage, Sam, and the men and
women merely players" Yes, massa,
but if OATS so, whar yo' gwine TO git
you audience and orchestry T-C0l-
liers Weekly.
Mistress-You say you are well rec
commended? Mad-Indeed, ma'am, |
have thirty-nine excellent references.
Mistress-And you have been in domes-
tic service? Maid-Two years, ma'am.
Glasgow Evening Times.
Newitt-Lend you a V? Why don't
you borrow it from Markley? He Is
easy. Borrowit-But l don't know him
as well as | know you. Newitt-That's
just it, and he doesn't know you as well
as l do.-Philadelphia Press.
HazHtt-So you really think that
Miss Mezzotint is a genuine artist?
And yet you never heard her. Barsad
No, but she freely admits that she
sings her selections. She does not claim
that she renders them. - Boston
Transcript.
/ Tess-I understand Miss Krusty actu-
ally paid me a compliment the other
evening. Jess-Not quite, but she came
as near it as could be expected of her.
Tess-What did she say? Jess-She
said you were very charming-but-"
philadelphia Press.
! Wide Open: Briggs-Well, old man,
how is that Authors Club of yours get
ting on? Griggs-First-rate; we have
made a rule that no one can belong to
it unless he has written book. Briggs
is that so? had an idea that it was
an exclusive affair.-Life.
Benedick-It is said that most of the
people who commit suicide are unmar-
ried. How are you going to get around
that? OBatch-Oh, well, s'pose after
a fellow has been married a while he
gets so he can put up with almost any
thing.-Chicago Times-Herald.
Clerk Ito patent-medicine man)-Here
is curious credential from one of our
customers Medicine Man-Read it.
Clerk-Before | took your elixir my
face WAS a sight. You ought to see it
! now. Send me another bottle for my
! mother-in-la Harlem Life
Hello, Jones, moving again so soon2
l thought you were perfectly satisfied
with your present home" Il was, old
man, but the fact is our sitting-room is
covered with goldenrod pattern, and
l can't cure my hay fever at all. The
landlady won't repaper it, and so we
have to moye."-Puck.
Owens-Is Mr.. Lenders in? Boy
Not yet, sir; but | expect him every
minute Owens-It's 10 o'clock, isn't
it? Boy-Nearly. The clock will strike
in half a minute, if not sooner. There