The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-03-10

Once there was a CRATER who would do
anything for Money except Work
He had acted as Capper and Plugger for
all sorts of Shady Enterprises and he had
helped 10 operate every variety OF SKIN
Game on the Farmers who come out OF the
Union Station carrying Telescope Naiises
and Shoe Boxes full of Lunch He mad
given the Razoo and the neat Double Cross
and the quick Zing-Zing to Cattlemen who
hang around and invite Troubl after they
have drawn their Money. He stood in with
the Police and knew an Alderman, and the
Law had no Terrors for him.
In fact, the CRATER thought he was one
of the Brightest and Best. When the Fish
were running and the Nets came up heavy
he would wear a large Stone in front and
smoke a 15-Center with a Gold Label on ii
and feel sorry for the Tads that were put
ting down the Cedar Blocks for sl.10 a
Day.
One Spring there was an Election COM
ing and the Reform Element had to be
soothed and jollied, so the Authorities sud
denly discovered that the Town was Bad
and closed everything tighter than a Drum.
The Pool Rooms, Poker Joints. Brace Faro
Games, Policy Shops, Opium Dens. Crap
Parlors, and, in fact. nearly AL the Sport
ing Centers except the Stock Exchange put
up the Green Shutters and vent out of
Business. until the periodical Spasm had
played itself out. The Police were so Vigil
the Slot to get a stick of Wintergreen Gum
was taking his life in his Hands.
During this Season of Depression the ac-
cOpnn1icha1 Cifu Croffar Ja,;1al +hot la
would go out among the Jays and try to
scare up two or three Green Wrappers for
his rapidly diminishing Roll.
He had a Scheme for coaxing Money out
of those who want to get Something for
Nothing and think they are Cute enough
to beat the Sharper at his own Tricks. His
Lay vas to sell 1S-Carat Jewelry and
Alaska Diamonds at a Nominal Price in
order to introduce the Goods and then put
Real Money in the Boxes as an Extra In
ducement. One Corner of the Greenback
was allowed to Protrude as an Evidence of
Good Faith, yet it may be unnecessary to
add that no one but the Booster ever got a
Cash Prize.
The CRATER had a Satchcl filled with Tin
Jewelry and Alaska Diamonds just received
from the Glass Works when he descended
on a Flag Station called Nubbinville. which
is near the J~umping-Off Place in Pike Coun-
ty. 1t was one of those Towns that seemed
to be trying to hold two Farms apart.
When you are passing it on a Train 1T
Leaves Off and you are out in the Country
again before you have time to ask the
Name.
1t looked very Yappy to the well-dressed
Shark from the City and he hoped to do
we'll. He stood upon a Dry Goods Box
at the Principal Corner and made a Hurry
Up Call and began to give away Friend
ship rings in order to whet the Interest.
Just as he was calculating his Unselfsh
Motives for the benefit of the Male Resi-
dents, who were looking up at him with
their Mouths open. the Town Marshal came
racking down the middle of the Street with
a piece OF Sapling in one Hand and a Tin
Star on his Coat.
The Marshal needed Money that Day.
He drew a Salary every Month, but it was
so Small that if it had been paid to him in
Pig Iron he could have carried it Home all
right. But he got his Bit every time he
Punched any one, so he had to Arrest some
body about once so often in order to have
enough for Groceries and Fuel. This Off
cial did not find it advisable to put his
Constits into the Cooler, because he was
around every Year asking them 10 vote for
him. But if a Hired Hand came in and ac-
cumulated a Sosh or if any Stranger began
TO act New along Main Street he was
Jerked Up in less than no Time. And one
of them Thimble- Ringers from the City
was justly regarded as Meat.
So the Representative of the Dignity and
Majesty of the Law broke through the
Crowd and introduced himself.
IF you are the Town Marshal, as you
say, / will ask you to remain here while I
am giving my Lecture and Free Entertain