Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1901-02-15

AGNN A9l LnNc k0ue cray AVu uNo
out or your mind. You know not what
yon say"
Il am MI right from head to heel, my
Gear cir. and ! can't understand your
ngitRtion. what's the matter With my
fciirnie for Improving Napoleon's
hOspf'
The minister rang his bell with nerv-
Gus hand. and a minute later Blrney
\ ~ OFT on the sidewalk with a hea In
~ cor that In. be- was told TO take
himst'f m or he would be locked up as
e. insane person. Il was rather a set
back fpr him. aud II took him n dag or
two to gpt over II. Int he finally came
Up smiling. II the minister would not
hplp biul out. there we're other officials
WaJ would. fic tried two or three OF
item. With the result that he was
eventually hailed before the chief OF
police That official probably sized him
up correctly. for he said to him:
You do not realize what you are
Going Don't you understand that you
caa bc scnt to prison for this? You do
ut appeal 10 have lost your mind. nad
you uie no fool. and the hest thing you
can 90 II TO get out OF PAris at once"
"rut what Is tho crlmeY' argued
Birncy IAN l have done Is TO say
that I a improve on the emperOr's
nose. Can n man be sent to prison in
Fruncy. for thntT"
lie can. sir. as I wish to make you
understand You must not talk this
way Yuu have made trouble for your.
self. ard you had best get away as
seen az possible. Should the emperor
himself hcnr Of your insulting words
you would be scEt to some fortress fer
hvp or ten y%cara."
"Shno! You don't sayi But you
Frcnrhmcn are queer people! Well,
dou't want to leave Paris for a few
DAYS yet. hut I'll keep still about Ma.
poisan's nose ! had no Idea he was no
trchv about It. Not another word from
the IL that's the way things are"
The chief added another warning.
though he saw the humor Of the thing
and smiled behind his mask. Birncy
might stay on for n few days, but he
must keep that nose attachment OF his
In The background and his tongue be
tween his teeth. He went out OF tho
police office meaning to do It. hut
scarcely "a hours had passed away
when he accidentally met II French
doctor who could speak English falrly
we'll. i;inpy was naturally asked why
he Ind visited Paris. aud Of coursr he
told Cf the bullet proof vest. Having
got started. hc couldn't stop there.
Say. do you know I could tx the
emperor's nose In less han n month";
he remarked IN n burst OF confidence.
"Yrs. s!r I could improve that smell
or of his Mt least 80 per cent In three OF
four weeks. aud / wouldn't charge a
cent either"
THE emperor's nosel' gaHped the
GOctor. "iiut what ais the eInprrOr'S
nU&ey'
out OF plumb. sir. and no excuse for
T. All | want is three weeks' time.
Can't you get me an audience with
him?"
The devIl! Why. man. you are in
Sultilg the emperor! You ought TO he
locked up
"Oh. come nowr' laughed Rlrney In q
protesting way. 81 never saw such
people before. Can't the emperor'l
nose Ike ont Of plumb as well as any
other rnn'sT"
The doctor left him without even {
cold bow and probably went TO the
roliec. az Birney was arrested An houI
latrr. According to his story, he was
sent TO prison without a trial and de-
taincd for a full year. Then he wal
taken out one day and conveyed to thu
war office and Into tho presence Of Ma
polccn.
'S.r." said the emperor after glarinl
at him for awhile. rs my nose out Of
plumbT'
1t Is as plumb as q plumbet," wa
the ready reply.
"Does It need any fixing OverT'
"Not n fix"
"And how is II with yoursT'
"It's out Of joint. your majesty, but
think | could follow II out OF France"
Then you may try"
Aud try be did. and his nose led hin
back TO the land OF the free withou
any lingering on the road.