The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-10-31

II II -
"sHE run TIE GOAT OCT OF THE HOUSE,
When a janitor has got his tenants so
that they are afraid to ask him TO
sweep the halls for fear lie viii fall
dead. he's got a pretty good thing"
'.Und dose families-do dey quarrel
some more, or yhas all peace ind hap
pinessY"
Its sad times over at the fats, Mr..
Wasserman, sad times, and there are
hours at a time when my heart aches
over the wickedness of human nature.
The last time / talked with you each of
the three women was trying to do the
other In style, but the BARRIERS wife
had carried of the palm. There was a
week In which Mrs. O'Sullivan of the
first floor and the Countess Diyito of
the second were crushed to earth. Mrs.
O'Sullivan was the first to rally. One
morning she twisted UP her hair In 0
knot, spanked three or four of the chill
dren and run the goat out of the house,
and, going up stairs to the colored wo-
man. she knocked on her door and said:
LADY Torrington. a lady as is a la
dy knows another lady as is a lady as
soon as she sets her eyes on her,
"'You bet yer she do said Mrs. Tor
rington.
-'Then I I'm a lady. you are a lady,
and the countess Is q lady, and phwat's
the use of any hard feelings? I'm 60
Ing to give a little recherche affair this
evening. and I've come up to extend a
high flown invitation"
"yhas 1t n party?" asked the grocer
as he absently toyed with a string bean.
"Yes, of course. The word 'resher-
shay knocks you out. but as a janitor
l make use of 1t 4 hundred times a day.
1t mean the same as four XXXX's ON
a can of sardines-something very ex-
elusive, you know. The BARRIERS wife
knew all about 1t. and she wasn't over a
minute accepting the invitation. She'd
got tired Of quarreling and was ready
to make up. Then Mrs. O'Sulliyan ex-
tended the invitation to the countess.
l stood by as she did 1t. and | tell you,
Mr.. Wasserman. 1t made me proud of
the McMurphy flats. She knocked ON
the door. and as it was opened she
made a grand courtesy and said;
1.-THE Lady C'Au,lvan's compliments
to the Countess OF Diyito, and win the
Countess OF Dis to eondeseend to honor
the Lady O'Sullivan wild her royal pris-
ence his evee.=1 q. the hour of 81
The countess had probably expected
to be hit with a washboard." contin-
ued the janitor, "and she was too sur
prised for the moment to speak. but
when she got at 1t she responded ac-
cording to court etiquette. | knew
Mrs. O'Sullivan had some little game
on hand. bat just what 1t was
couldn't figure out. However. when
she asked me what sort Of refresh
ments went with a recherche affair |
recommended bottled beer. sliced
onions and sardines and bided my time
to unravel the mystery"
"Und dot party comes OFF, queried
the grocer.
st does. Yes, at s o'clock this even
ing Lady Torrington and the Countess
Diyito descended to the first floor and
were received with all due honors by
Lady O'Sullivan. You know what a
prelude is. don't you?"
Eyes. 1t vhas something's dot takes
place afterwards"
you are wrong, Mr.. Wasserman. 1t
is something that takes place before
anything else happens. In this case
the prelude was a glass of beer all
ar~,,nI ard m eDno Lv r oI.. nfC.,Ifi.ou
and then the honored guests were in
vited to sit down to a little game of
poker. As soon as | heard of 1t the
mystery was explained. Tim 0'Sulli-
van had been coaching his wife at
poker for a week"
"By golly, und some gambling goes
onv' exclaimed the grocer in consid-
cradle excitement.
"Some gambling goes on" sighed the
j~anitor. "If the guests were surprised,
they didn't show 1t, but sat down and
were soon at 1t, and for half an hour
all went well. Then Lady O'Sullivan
gets threes."
'Three pokers?'
mo; three kings. Yes. she gets three
kings. but Lady Torrington gets a
straight, you see"
"Who vhas a straight"
"Don't you know about poker, Mr..
Wasserman?"
"Neffer. | shust keep a grocery und
hat all kinds of vegetables In season."
well. a straight beats threes, but in
this case TIE countess had a flush. and