davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
TOOK WEDDING TRIP ALONE.
Man Explains Why He Had to Leave
Bride at Home.

Man Explains Why He Had to Leave
Bride at Home.
One CT the best-known raconteurs in
the South is the Rev. Charles Lane Of
Atlanta. He is thoroughly unconven-
tional, but is possessed of an inexhaust-
ible supply of anecdotes. Mr.. Lane. was
one of party of ministers who were re-
Gently dining with the Rev. DR.. T. De
Witt Talmadge at the home of Evan P.
Howell in Atlanta. DR.. Talmage was
personally a stranger to most Of the
pl eachers present. and the dinner seemed
rather cold and formal. differing IN ,his
Finally some one suggested to Mr.. Lane
that he try to liven things up. He then
proceeded to tell the following story,
which completely fractured the ice and
made every one acquainted with every
one else that was there:
"A few years ago there might have
been seen walking the decks of an At
lantic steamer man. apparently rustic
inhabitant, seemingly in deep distress. 4
fellow-passenger having observed the
manifestations of the mans obvious grief
for several days, finally went to him and
asked, sympathetically
MY friend | have noticed your dis
tress for several days, and, thinking that
perhaps L might be of some assistance,
family is dead.'
NO. replied the man; Nobody dead
We'll, you are probably suffering
from some serious business misfortune, I
presume continued the questioner
No; no business trouble.
Might 1 ask, then, what the trouble
is?
"'Wel]. I'm on my weddin' trip re-
sponded the man. seriously.
ION your wedding trip? Why, 1 al
ways thought that was time Of great
rejMcing.'
Yes, hut my wifes not with me- re-
piled the disturbed man.
"'Your wife not with you! I never
heard Of man taking wedding trip
when his wife was not with him.
"Well, you see it was this way: We
didn't have money enough for both OF
t us to go, 60, but as the thing had ter be
York Times
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
TO A TORTOISE.
<RED @aRx<.

Paludal. glum, with misdirected legs,
You hide your history as you do your eggs,
And offer us an OsseOuS nut to crack
Much harder than the shell upon your back.
No eyolutionist has ever guessed
Why your cold shoulder is within your
chest
Why you were disconnected with plan
The yertebrates accept, from fish to man.
For what environment did you provide
BY pushing your internal frame outside?
Inside your rubber necS you hide your face
And answer not. To science you're i
sphinx
A structural epitome of missing links;
And when decapitated. still you swell
And kick and claw and scramble just as
we'll.
But I'll not plague thee. Even here / find
A touch of fellowship that makes me kind.
Sometimes Il poet who has lost his head
Will keep on scratching when he should be
dead.
--Chauncey Hickox in New Lippincott.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
"CHAIR" WAS A SETTEE.
Miss Jones Makes a Discovery at :
Small College.

Miss Jones Makes a Discovery at a
Small College.
She had returned with an NJ. D. from
a university after her name, and had
been elected to the chair of English lii
erature in small local college. On the
day before the session opened, the presi-
dent was explaining to her the duties of
her place. I'm addition to your work in
English literature" he said, with apollo
getic hesitation, II should like you to
take the Junior and senior classes in elo-
cution, and also assume charge of the
physical culture"
us there no teacher Of elocution p
asked Miss Jones.
Well, no; not at present.
And who has charge of the physical
training?"
ITO tell the truth, we have no teacher
as yet. You perhaps noticed in the cata-
logue that those two departments were
TO be supplied
"And I was elected to the chair Of
English literature"
"Yes,' the president answered, gloom
lily.
But he was treasured by her winning
smile. II will take the work and do
what | can with (, Dr. Smith, she said,
brightly; ''but why didn't You write me
at first that the chair was a settee %
Harper's Magazine.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
An Improbable Argument.

The train had just recommended its
journey toward Bedale. "What did
the porter say was the next station! -
asked one passenger of another. ''Ex-
cuse me-" said passenger No. 2, ''you
mean what is the next station. It's still
q station, you know" You're wrong.
What it was. wasn't it? Is is was. but
getting Ridiculous said the second
speaker irritably. "What was is, and
what is u.s. Is was is, or is is was"
Don t be- foolish! Was may be is, but
is is not was. Is was was, but if was
was is. then is isn't is. or was wasn't
was. If was is, was is was. isn't it? But
if is is was: St then e! - Listen: Is is,
fore, is was is, and was was was. and is
is was" ''Shut up. will you! I've gone
by my station already!" And there was
silence for while.-London Answers.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The assertion Of prominent member
Of the New York Yacht Club that that
organization will adhere to the deed Of
gift of the America cup, and decline to
permit the second Shamrock to have an
other series Of races for the trophy next
year, probably reflects the judgment of
American yachtsmen generally. Too
much has been said in England about
past departure from the provisions Of the
deed, and the document should therefore
be permitted to stand unchanged.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

1t has developed at the inquest in the
case Of the crew of the wrecked torpedo
boat destroyer Cobra, Of the British
navy, that the Cobra did not strike
rock as was supposed, but broke in two
from the strain of driving by her ire
mendous engine power into the seas
which prevailed at the time. This ought
to be warning to the builders of fast
steel vessels, including the designers and
builders of sailing and steam yachts Of
the paper-shell variety.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

A thirty-foot boat fitted with new
gasoline engine is reported to have
shown a speed Of twenty miles an hour
on a stretch of the Rideau canal. in
Canada. This is probably the highest
speed ever made by a boat of that
length, and if longer boats can be made
faster in proportion, it may not be nee
cssary to risk human life in torpedo
boat destroyers like the Cobra, which
was wrecked with loss Of life by practi-
cally running on top Of herself.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Kansas has been vainly trying to kill
her prairie dogs with poison. The agents
who were sent out to do the work r.
port that the animals refuse to die, Al
though they have been dosed with all the
known poisons. Perhaps the pesiiiercus
animals might be made to "bitc the
DUST by taking contrary course, aAc
feeding them on patent dyspepsia
''curps"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
Brunette Angels.

A little Southern fairy Of the brunette
type, who had been asked to represent
an angel at some entertainment. was
radiant at the thought until someone ma
liciously suggested that she had never
heard Ct an angel with dark eyes and
hair. The gc;eved look that came into
the child's face was too much for Fam
ME, the nursegirl. Laws, Miss Lottie,' =
said che, NOV don't you min! Tha's
heaps o niggas in heaven, I knows
Springfield Republican. II s5
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

An Austrian inventor Of an air ship
discovered that he had unwittingly in
vented a diving machine also, when he
tried to get his ship to lift herself from
the surface Of lake upon which she
was hoated from the builders shed.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The New York firemen who succeeded
i'll filling the burning ship Griffel with
water were for some time in doubt as to
whether the craft would 60 up or go
down. She had on board 10000 cases of
petroleum and $50 cases of loaded bird
cartridpns
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The New Jersey septuagenarian with
nine wives may have been trying to get
up political party of his own, pending
the achievement Of success Ivy the woman
suffra giSts.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Discoveries of "new Eldorados' in
Alaska are made with regularity that
suits the miners outftters at Seattle md
other upper Pacific coast cities to dot.
The latest gold find is said to be at Hope
Bay, on the Arctic coast, and therefore
very close to the end Of things for gold
explorations. owing to the shortncss Of
the season for washing etc.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
Are Less Arrogant.

I observed in my travels this summer
in Switzerland, in the Tyrol and else
where, that the tourist Englishman is
now less arrogant and more submissive.
Formerly he always gave MS foreigners
an idea of "I-want-to-take-c
-this-place.'' Now he murmurs
Thank YOU at table, saying Mercy"
which means pity.-Amsterdam Handles
had
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

If the Kaiser comes for the Gun no viii,
receive a royal welcome, and be enter
tanned on scale suitable to his rank,
while his yacht is receiving drubbing
from the American defender
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The milliners, it is said, have decided
what shall be the ornament of the femi-
nine hat this year. and Its Bird
The Audubon Society will object. 1t re-
mains to be seen whether the women
who are to wear the hats will go with
the milliners or with the Audubon So
ciety. If the women decide for birds on
their hats, it will not be long before there
will be no more birds.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Prof. Triggs has succeeded in getting
the English deprecators of American lit
erature to agree with him in his depreca-
ton of American literature. But they
had reached their conclusion before he
haOan
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Many people have changed their minds
about the Shamrock H., but no one has
found any reason for altering the opin-
ion all along entertained regarding Sir
Thomas Upton, which is that Hes a
jolly good fellow"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The professors at the University OF
Koenigsburg, Germany, who have barred
women from the medical lectures at the
university, have voluntarily stepped
from the line of progress. The question
as TO whether woman has a place in the
medical field was long ago settled in the
affirmative.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Too many cooks" runs the proverb,
spoil the BROTH" British opinion seems
t." be crystaizing in favor of the propo-
sition that one Kitchener is as bad as too
many cooks.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The phenomenon at Brooklyn, where Il
mail carrier is turning black as a result
Of peculiar disease, suggests a peculiar
awakening on the color question il the
disease should become prevalent among
the whites of the South.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
NURSERY RHYMES.
Bright little Jack
SAT on q tack

Bright little Jack
Sat on tack
Eating a Christmas pie
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled OFT plum.
And said, What plumber am ~
Said nurse to little Curlyhair: keep from
that tree, you bark!
The trees en- which dogberries grow have
always got a bark!''
One picture to the other said:
Don't call me by that name,
Or by the moon that's overhead.
I'll have to jump your frame!!''
indianapolis Sun.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Some people will not be convinced that
the fools are not all dead until word has
been received that Capt. Andrews and
his bride have completed their trans
atlantic journey in their 14-foot boat.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The Hoboken clergyman who refereed
a boxing match between students ey;
IDENTITY forgot that his chosen calling re-
CURED him to break away" from amnsc-
mCntS of the strenuous order.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The mooted scheme to have the Sham
rock II. race for the America cup next
year is discredited by the deed of gift
under the terms of which all races
are held. This document prohibits a de-
feated yacht from racing for the cup un-
til season has elapsed in which another
yacht may have a trial for the trophy.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The suicide of twenty-three Berlin
housemaids in one week, on account of
unrequited love, makes it incumbent
upon the Kaiser either to reduce the
gaudiness of the army uniform or keep
his soldiers busy MASKING enemies.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Five submarine boats of the Holland
type are in course of construction for the
British navy. They are undoubtedly
added to the royal navy as bugaboos of
the Quaker gun character.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Bob F1tzsmmons couldn't hold down
the championship of the world, but he
has concluded to become full-fedged
American citizen, which is better posi-
ton than boss slugger Of the prize ring.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

can harness cyclone, should be per.
mitted to try his hand on a small-sized
tornado, as beginning; then, it there
is anything left of him, he might gather
it up for trial of the cyclone.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18
counting.

The discovery of another swindle of
the government by officers of the Rus
sian navy gives support to the obserya
ton Of travellers that corruption is one
OF Russia's greatest drags.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The GAINESVILLE man who broke his best
girls ribs in b'fgging match gives the
author Of the posed marriage law an
opportunity tl&smend it so as to prevent
x,;r
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

\ Philadelphia merchant whose daugh-
ter fell in love with an Italian count,
sent for the titled sutton. and after look
ing h.m over requested him to return to
Italy. 1t was an instance Of the discount
l..
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The English cricketers are discovering
that Americans know a thing or two
about other sports than baseball and
Yacht racing
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The appearance of gun" in hazing
scrimmages at the University of Illinois
is long way behind the advent of the
ambulance in such strenuous educational
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Training football teams which are prom
i$ing all sorts of things when they devel-
op the right amount of wind, should not
forget the fate Of the Shamrock.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Sir Thomas Upton will be raced to
his hearts content, next year, if he lays
up the Shamrock on this side Of the At
lantic; but not for the America cup.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

I'm the spring the young mans fancy
lightly turns to thoughts of love-" but
Chauncey has arranged his matrimonial
matter in the fall
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

A report from the East that cider has
been found to be a preventive and cure
for smallpox may be covert attempt
to revive the applcjack habit.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The warning sugar interests which ex-
poet to do each other will naturally
have a sweet time of it..
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Sir Thomas has failed to win the cup.
hut has succeeded in retaining the re-
SIpct and goodwill Of the American
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Umbrella merchants ought to be inter-
c>ted in the correspondents story that it
rains 300 days in the year at Juneau.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Pat Grove never claimed to be The
oSophist, but he works the astral body
racket better than Diss de Bar.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Carrie Nation is varying her excursions
with her little Ratchet by paying more or
less formal and prolonged visits to vari
OILS iails
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

King Edwards bangle may introduce a
style that will make the jewelry Of the
detectives de rigueur.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

Ann O'Delia Diss de Bar seems to be
a spook that is always in trouble.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-18

The Wisconsin man who is IN Ne.
braska trying to convince people that he
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-01-10
LATEST FROM KITCHENER.
The British Commander In south
Africn Compelled to Gable
Some More Regrets:

London, Jan. 7,-Reporting to the
war Office, under date of January q.
Lord Kitchener says:
"lcsterday Darlington engaged
Delarey'S and Steenkamp's comman-
does at Naauwpoort. The enemy was
forced TO retire TO the northwest. Our
casualties have not yet been received,
but are reported slight. \ Boer doe
tor admitted that 20 Beers were killed
or wounded. Commandant Duprez
was taken prisoner,
at appears from reports of the
wounded who have arrived at He'll
bron that detachment, 800 strong.
belonging to Knox's command came
into contact with superior force near
Lindley. ! regret to say that Lieut..
Laing. two other officers and Is men
were killed and two officers and 20
men wounded. No details have come
from Knox of this action"
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-01-10
is REGARDED AS CRITICAL.
phaIt Concession In Ncne-
zueIn becoming Acute.

Willemstad, Curacao. via IIavtien
cable, Jan. THE United States Min.
lister at Curacao, Venezuela, Mr..
LOOMS, according to the latest ad.
vices received here, has not yet sue.
ceeded in obtaining justice for the
New York q Bermudes Asphalt Co..
in it dispute with the loval authori.
ties and the situation is regarded as
critical. Three American warships are
either at La Guayra or on their way
Cthe Buffalo, Hartford and Scorpion)
and the Americans are complaining
at the alleged delay in obtaining pro-
lection for their interests. The To-
cal authorities. it was added, cucour.
aged the natives to invade the com
pany's plant.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-01-10
.|HE WIDOWS TESTIMONY.
The Inquest Into the Richardson
Tragedy, at Savannah,
Mo-, Transferred.
A SESSION At THE RICHARDSON HOME.
Mrs. Richardson Told the story OF
the Tragedy as Heretofore Heint-
ed and Denied Every Important
statement In the Evidence of Bes-
sic Phyllis. the Domestic.

Savannah. No. Jan. In the house
in which Frank w. Richardson was
assassinated his widow told the cor
oncr's jury what she saw and heard
on that fatal Christmas eve. Ten
o'clock was the hour set for the re-
sumption of the inquest at the court
house. Long before that hour the
building was crowded by persons
who wanted TO see and hear the WON
an whose lips had been closed since
the tragedy, and who was the only
witness of the crime save the un-
known man who committed il.
The coroner convened his court and
waited for the arrival of the impor-
tant witness. In a few minutes it was
announced TO Coroner Bcrer that Mrs.
Richardson was too i'll to come to the
court house. but that she was anxious
to tell all She knew. Her counsel, At
torncy \. W. Brewster, of st. Joseph,
asked that the coroner aud his SIN
jurymcn proceed 10 the Richardson
home and that there the widow would
tell her story.
~ W. ~ inv Jun y ~ p'''''N W. NV
Richardson residence. five blocks from
the court house, followed by vast
crowd of people When the officers of
the court arrived at the Richardson
house fully 100 men and women
crowded into the grounds.
Prosecuting Attorney Boohcr, stand
ing on the front porch, addressed the
people, requesting all TO 90 away, as
only the coroner and those immedi-
ately connected with the hearing and
three Representatives of the after
noon press would be admitted.
please 90 away now" said Mr..
Booher. "In the name of the Richard
son family and the authorities L re-
quest it,
The first step of the coroner was to
take the measurements of the hall
and bedroom where the murder oc-
Cured. This occupied some time. and
while it was proceeding Mrs. Richard
son remained in the parlor, under the
care of her physician and relatives.
FINALLY the coroner convened his
court and called upon Mrs. Richard
son To testify. She was permitted to
rehcarse the events of the tragedy in
her own way and was not interrupted
with questions until she finished. She
told her story. much as it has been
printed heretofore, in a straightfor-
ward manner. 1t shed no new light
on the mystery.
Then, in answer to questions, Mrs.
Richardson denied every important
statement in the testimony of Bessie
Phyllis, the servant girl, alleging that
she Mrs Richardson) had frequently
received the visits of men, who stayed
late at night, in the absence of her
husband. The widows testimony
seemed to impress the jury.
Crittenden press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1879-1907, 1901-01-10

The official table of the election re-
turns of 1900 and 1896, which is given
here, is official. Where the space is
blank, as is the case sometimes in the
gubernatorial columns, there either
was no election for governor in that
state in 1900, or the vote is yet to be
officially canvassed by the state legis-
laturc. From the figures given in the
table it is shown that in 1900 only
jl,GO7 more votes were cast than in
1896. From this it is evident that
many states had an increased stay-at-
home vote. This was the case princi-
pally in the southern states, where
Mr.. Bryan lost more heavily than in
the other states. Mr. Bryan's great
est gain was in New York, where
nearly 100000 votes left the republi-
can ranks. This still, however, left
Mckinley Il plurality of 143,6OS. Mr..
Bryan's greatest loss was in Texas.
where nearly 66,223 votes changed
sides. Mr.. Bryan gained over 1896 in
Delaware, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky,
Maryland, Massachusetts. New IIamp-
shire, New Jersey, New York. Rhode
Island. Vermont and West Virginia.
In addition to all the southern states.
Mckinley rolled up heavy gains in the
west, notably in Kansas, which gave
him @3,3j4 plurality, where the state