Evening star., 1901-08-10
Some Recent Jokes at the Expense of
the Police.
A WARD MAN Who WAS CONVICTED
Detectives Missed a Chance to
Make a Tidy Sum.
SCHLEY'S DOUBLE
special Correspondence Of The Evening Star.

| convicted policeman Of having squeezed
a woman for quite tidy little protection"
| bribe-a matter of $3.50. The policeman
was ward man." The ward man. Of a
| New York police precinct-there's one of
them in each PRECINCTS the plain clothes
| boy who circulates about and ascertains
| what's doing. That Is to say. he collects.
| He Is the non-offical sandbagger Of his
precinct, as it were. He Is elected to his
| job by his precinct captain on account of
| his proven acuteness in learning all that
is going on in the precinct in the way Of
| violations of the law, as well as on account
| of his persuasive, purring manner Of in
ducing the law violators to execute that
| little financial performance known to New
| York cops as coming to the front"
| The ward man. is only persuasive and
purring as long as the protected" folks
| look pleasant while they are searching their
| apparel for the price Of protection" When
| the screened ones demIr over the costliness
of their screening the ward man. is trans
| formed into stern reformer whose one
| and only aim Is to assist in conserving the
moral pulchritude of the community. His
| method OF conserving Is to ''tip off, his
| captain that So-and-So Is 'beefin' about
| givin' up and to swoop upon the demurrer
with a hurry wagon filled with cops, thus
| putting out of business the kicker over the
price Of protection
| Lucrative Position.
One Of the New York ward men" has
held down his quiet little billet for a mat
| ter OF twenty years In all that time he
has worn no blue clothing of any nature
whatsoever. In the ordinary course Of pro-
| motion by seniority this chap would have
been high on the list of police captains by
| this time, for he has been attached to the
department for a quarter of century.
however, ne does not want to be captain
In fact, he would probably reject a police
| commiSsionership tomorrow, il it were Of
fered to him. Men who know what they
are talking about say that the precinct Of
which he Is ward man" is worth" at
| least 100000 per annum.
| But the chap who was, to the astonish-
ment of every one. convicted the other day
| OF having screwed this sum of $3.50 was
| actually the first tried ward man. who
| was ever convicted in New York court Of
| "sandbagging."
However. his conviction alone does not
| AFFORD the moving pathos of this story. It
| was the preparations which his friends, on
| and Off the police force, had made to give
him good time upon his release that
| made 1t so very sad. For his friends re-
garoed 1t as foregone conclusion that he
was going to be acquitted. 1t was with
| difficulty that they restrained their merri-
| ment throughout the progress of the trial
| even when the most convincing evidence
was being given against the ward man."
Their efforts to restrain their glee when
| the judge was charging the jury told upon
| them SO severely that they just had to find
an outlet for their exuberance by winking
| sagely and shrewdly at each other And
When the jury came right back and de-
| clared the ward man. to be guilty thus
putting him In the way Of getting as many
clothing. the way the friends of that ward
| man did cape was assuredly sad to seei
| When He Waa "Vindicated.n
| They had made preparations to give him
a banquet on the boulevard that evening
| at cost of $25 per plate. The viands were
| already sizzling on the ranges and the
| wines were cooling in the refrigerators at
the very moment that that brutal, inhuman
| jury walked back into the court room and
| declared the bribe taker to be guilty. And
| the ward mans friends had all Clipped
in to make up 81 500 wherewith to pur-
chase him diamond badge. with his name
In brilliants at the top thereof. and the
beautiful word "Vindicated' in large car
| bons beneath the shield.
Orators had already composed the
| speeches of confidence and affection which
| they had been selected to bestow upon him
| at the banquet, and one Of the biggest
| flower shops on Broadway had been vir-
tually looted to provide white roses and
lilies this is no jest-white roses and Hlies)
| wherewtth to decorate the banquet tables.
Surprise and Sorrow.
| "OAucA, lAeu, tAdS-tNeu IL 61l eye
in the court room were quite free from
moisture-the friends Of the convicted
ward man. were stunned speechless.
Guilty! Why, the idea!
Yes, it was very. very sad indeed when
| the hateful, astounding news was received
| at the boulevard banquet hall, and the mu-
| sicians were dismissed. No man in that
| throng at the tables-so joyous but a few
short minutes befOre-had the heart to par
| take of the S2I-ner-D1afa
| However, they made brave effort to over
come their crushed feelings and disposed of
the wine down to the last bead thereof
| When the huge, red-muStached cop who
| had been assigned to take the tickets at
| the banquet hall door heard the news he
| voiced the general feeling Of all present at
the tables by gloomily remarking:
| DE old town won't do no more. She s
gettin t be on de Fritz-on de Fritz
Detectives Sense of Humor.
Every once in awhile some New York
detective or other gets under the limelight
by the exhibition of q real, sure-enough
sense Of humor, and when these things
happen they are worth recording. A sar-
donio sleuth perpetrated hilarious joke
| upon a criminal lady only last week.
This lady has long been known in police
annals as ''Squarehead Jennie the
"Squarehead" being a somewhat unkind
| allusion to her Scandinavian nativity,
scandinavians being known at this end of
the line as "SQuareheads, just as Italians
are collectively called "Dagoes'' or Gin
tneys."
"Squarehead Jennie's' particular fad, for
quite q long number of years back-and
she is now only twenty Eight, and pretty
has been to fold the peripatetic drunken
| man. wabbling with difficulty along the
| street In an affectionate embrace, and
| while the befuddled male person was in
the very act Of congratulating himself up
| on his surprising and overwhelming con-
quest to rapidly go through his clothing
| for his valuables.
One evening about ten days ago Square
| head Jennie" over on 9Th avenue, and In
| the full glare of several arc lights, grab
bed and embraced visiting Memphis buy
| er to such excellent purpose that when
she playfully patted him on the shoulder
and told him that she had made a mistake
she was some 81. 400 better Off, in jewelry
| and lucre, than she had been but q few
| brief moments before.
| Wanted to BE Playful.
A new detective at headquarters was as
signed to the job Of going after Square
head Jennie" and gathering her in.
He did not take the warrant for Jane
straight to her abode and thus corral her.
No. He desired to be q bit playful at James