Evening star., 1901-05-04
QUEER USES OF COMMON THINGS.
When Man and His Wife First Ap-
peared on This Earth.

QUEER USES OF COMMON THINGS.
When Man and His Wife First Ap-
peared on This Earth.
Harvey Sutherland in Ainslee's Magazine
when man and his wife first got off at
this earth station without return ticket
| funds or baggage Uhcy didn't even have
| hand-satcheD, they found two of their four
| limbs disengaged from the task of walking.
and at the ends of each of these two limbs
| five prongs, all movable, one of them capa-
| ble of being opposed to each of the other
| four. They had also something inside them.
restless and inquisitvc just like their
cousins that hung by the tail in the trees
and jabbered at them. Not living in trees
and being simply Obliged by that internal
restlessness and inquisitiveness too do
| something with the two spare limb-ends,
they began to fuss with objects about
them. They were not so strong some
animals, not so terrihly armed as some
not so safely armored or disguised as some
not 50 sharp of vision, acute of hearing or
SO keen of scent as others. They were in
a world already well-peopled by creatures
that distinctly resented their coming as
an intrusion entirely Uncalled for on such
short acquaintance; in a world where all
the labels of Good and Bad had come
off-if indeed, they had ever been stuck on;
In world whose motto is, and ever has
been, Root, hog, or die with the accent
on the die and in q world which had as
little sympathy then Is now for a young
man trying to make his way in life. If
that internal restlesSness and those two
pronged limbs could not be turned to ac-
count, it was obviously all up with the
newcomers.
From that date the Queer Uses of Com
mon Things began. / can imagine the
shocked surprise Of the birds very good
family the birds are: among the early
settlers old the hills Older
hills, distantly connected with the reptiles
l beleve)-I say | can imagine the shocked
surprise of the birds when, after having
flown up to safe place in a tree man
threw stones and knocked them off the
perch.
" Why-why, what kind OF doings is
this they demanded to know. It's no
fair pegging stones. Stones belong on the
ground 1t is very queer way to act
and we shall certainty complain to the
j2nitor about it,
The other animals thought so, too, when
man learned how to Iut soma sort OF an
edge on the stone and 10 haft it in split
stick, so as to reacn in and kill them in
their burrows, which is plainly against the
rules of the game. This unnatural length
ening of the arm entailed other queer uses
of common things. The stone kept slipping
out of the split stick, and man took grasses
to tie it fast, and what grew out of
that first knot would tahe a book to write
But the strings slipped off the stone, and
man made use of the first glue, his own
blood, which is a very good Glue, indeed
il you use plenty and have nothing bet
ter. Later he used the blood of the pitch
pine, and still later he boiled hoofs and
horns of animals, and used their sinews
for strings to lash the spearhead fast.
After having made the cut in himself to
get the natural glue. the wound began TO
smart. for at that time our ancestor had
not discovered the great truth that really
he had no pain, but suffered only from the
belief that he had one. The poor ignorant
ere aflra in1 1,ilocr l,.a
hands on to see If he could not make the
soreness go away. No doubt, he told it to
get out. but the power of mind over matter
was not great in those days. 1 suppose
too that somebody kissed the wound and
made 1t well, or blew upon ii with the
same happy result, just as children's bumps
stop hurting now when mamma kisses or
blows on them. He chewed up leaves to
make poultices. No doubt some of these
herbs killed him in a hurry-some of them
made him delightfully."- dizzy and drunk.
and he forthwith gave orders to his wife
that on no account was she to enjoy her
self by tasting them. u is this sentiment
still persisting in us that shocks our moral
sense when We see ladies' using liquor or
tobacco to excess. It's too good for them
Woman was put into this world to have
trouble, not a good time. and it is mans
sacred duty and privilege to see that she
keeps to her proper sphere.
Some Of the herbs he chewed tasted
good, and have ever since been on the bin
Of fare. Some of them did the wound
good, and have eyer since been on the list
OF the pharmacopeia. Anyhow IL was
there that medicine began, and Of the queer
uses of common things in that branch of
human activity there is no end Man be-
Ing essentially queer Of course he could not
get 1t into his head that the I,lants healed
by virtue of some material property in
themselves, put because they were inhabit-
ed by friendly spirits. He even got th,,
notion that il big dose of the plant would
make him have such and such a sickness a
tiny dose of 1t would cure that sickness If h.,
got it naturally. From imagining likeness
es in different herbs to parts of his own
body and Incorporating those weeds I'm
poultices, he arrived at the queer discov-
cry that the salve ought to be applied to
and 1t simply did beat all how much quick
er IT healed that way. 1t did not hurt the
sword much to have the salve on it, and it |
gave nature an opportunity to do her own |
curing, which she will do If she has half
chance, unless the case is too serious |
when she adopts the philosophy Of Doc
Sifers. as celebrated 10y James Whitcomb |
Riley:
What's your idy livin' when you're Just |
as good as dead?'
Out of some Of these nonsensical prac-
tices some really good things did come |
but they always took devious path, which |
entities them to be called queer. If n |
man wanted to be noble and royal he took |
gold dust; II he wanted to be strong he |
filed his sword and swallowed the fine |
particles. That being a disagTeeable way
to take iron. 1t was put up in liquid form. |
and really does make a man strong, as |
well as putting an edge on his teeth" |