Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1901-03-07
Something Which He Learned.

Something Which He Learned
A soft answer has not only the eff
feet of turning away wrath; it may
serve to avenge an injury. Years ago
Kew. j. II. Jones was making a visit
to Boston, and attended bi-weekly
conference at Divinity hall. Just at
that time he was out of sorts with
the east, and his address reflected an
acrid mood. Especially did he in
sist "they didn't know everything
down in Judee." or even in Cambridge.
When he sat down there was mo-
mentary hush, and then the late Dean
Everett slowly rose. He began in his
usual soft and hesitating tone: "There
are doubtless a great many things
which Mr.. Jones knows and we do not
know, but there are also few things
which we know and he does not
Then followed pause, during which
each man held his breath, for the dean
was known to carry on his lips dag
ger which sometimes found it's unerring
way to the hearts of men and things:
but after due pause he continued gent
ly:
And chief among them is. how glad
we always are to see him"
BIZ. Corbett on Matrimonial Infelicities.
Mr.. James J. Corbett of New York
Is justly indignant at the publicity
which the newspapers are in the habit
OF giving to quarrels between himself
and his wife.
"Now, isn't it enough to vibrate
you? My wife and l have a few
words in our room, such as may be
heard in the rooms of all married peo-
pie, providing the walls are not too
thick. What's the reault? A
report that Corbett and his wife have
had another terrible fight Why,
have known married people to pound
each other all about the house and not
word said about it,
Really, it seems that Mr.. Corbett is
being unjustly treated. Why should
he be singled out for persecutioni
Why must all the little differences be-
tween himself and his wife be aired.
while other men who have the honor
OF his acquaintance are permitted to
pound their wives all around the
premises without being complained
against or even interviewed about it?
This is wrong. Mr.. Corbett should
ed to his friends. If our pugilists are
to be denied the privilege of knocking
their wives about during off hours,
how can they be expected to keep
Into be always ready at a mo-
ment's notice to exhibit their highest
efficiency in the manly art?
The ardent lover fell upon his knees
before the cold but beautiful maiden.
How can my hating speech ex-
press the love for you that fills my
heart? You" he clasped her hand
III manner thoroughly Endorsed by
Hints on Wooing Care the one girl
in all this world for me.
The maiden smiled knowingly.
"f'-the lover cast his eyes heav-
onward in the most approved manner
you could but read my innermost
thoughts! If could but lay my heart
bare to you, you would see that you
are its sole occupant
"Johnniew
The innocent maiden's voice sound
ed harsh and ominous to the ardent
lover at her feet.
Bring me"-a look of inquiry
spread over the suitors face-"my X
ray camera"
With cry of baffled rage the low
er sprang to his feet, but before he
could escape she had pressed the but
ton.
Next day Uncle Sam brought the
foiled lover photograph of human
cardiac in every corner of which was
the face of a different maiden.
curse the new invention he cried.
1T has discovered me.'
The photo was an exact reproduce
ton OF his own loving organ.