davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
THE COLLEGE YELL.
Occasion on Which It Proved OF Great
Practical Value.

Occasion on Which It Proved OF Great
Practical Value.
A young man once returned from
college with long hair, sweater that
had eleven distinct co1ors in its fabric,
q good opinion Of himself, and a col
.ege yell that was terrifying. His faith
or sized him up and then complained
bitterly. His complaints were more
bitter when he heard the college yell.
And paid good money to have him
acquire those clothes and that foghorn
voice and exuberant throat develop
ment," he groaned. "You don't care
for the yell?" asked the young man.
Il do not" replied the father. 1T is
as valueless as the squeal of pig,
and that is the one part of the animal
which is lost when he is butchered."
A few weeks later, while on trip
to new country, the father and son
were attacked by band of marauding
ruff1ans. The young man opened his
mouth, threw the reverse lever away
over in the corner, and emitted his COL
lege yell, which was substantially as
follows: "Br---r! Wool, woofwoof-
wool! Zip, zip, zip-pityzip! Oompah,
oompah! Gurgoo, gurgoo! Wottell,
wottell! Wheeeeee!" The members
of the marauding band, amazed at the
sound and unable to understand it,
turned and fed. Moral-A college ed
ucation pays in various ways.-Judge.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
SWEETEST OF oUADRuPEDs-
Greyhounds Hold the Record for Getting
Over the Ground Fastest.

Greyhounds Hold the Record for Getting
over the Ground Fastest.
Three men In carriage, followed
by four dogs. alighted at one of the
roadhouses just beyond Kingsbridge
while l was resting there recently,
and proved to be so interesting in
their conversation that l fingered
many minutes beyond my time to lis
ten to them and to learn something
that did not know before. When the
dogs took me into their confidence
the owners did the same. 1t appears
that they had been out in Westches-
ter county, running the dogs and max
ing a record for their performances.
There is the fastest animal that runs
on four legs" said one of the men. as
he pointed at long, lank, sinewv
English greyhound that turned to-
ward us countenance fairly beaming
with intelligence. 81 don't mean that
particular dog" he continued, but I
do mean his variety, and he is not the
slowest member Of it by any means.
We have just been trying him under
careful timing, and found that he
went, when on full gallop, twenty
yards a second. That means mile
in minute and twenty-eight seconds
"a speed that comes very near that
of carrier pigeon and would leave
far behind any quadruped that we
know of. This is matter that
have studied and know something
about. There are few thoroughbred
horses that can exceed nineteen yards
second, and I have known grey
hounds to better that by four yards.
Foxhounds have record of four miles
in six and half minutes, or nearly
eighteen yards second. That is fast
going and as good as the most rapid
of the hare family can do. This
speed is to some extent an inherited
gift from away back, for have been
Informed that wolves can run all
night at the rate of a mile in three
minutes. Manson says that Siberian
dogs can travel forty-five miles on the
ice in five hours. This is fast going,
but these greyhounds hold the record"
Exchange.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
FREAKS OF THE TORNADO.
Man Caught Up by One Describes His
Sensation.

A tornado that was remarkable both
In appearance and in action was one
that travelled from Texas across Okla
homa and Indian Territory in May,
1896, says writer in Ainslee's Maya
zine. A man in Sherman, Oklahoma
Territory, who had exceptional oppor-
tunities for observing the storm, in
asmuch as he was caught up in it and
carried several hundred yards before
descending to earth again, is certain
that it was not funnel-shaped. He
says of it: "It looked to me like
great bali of vapor rolling over and
over toward me. When I first saw it
distinctly it was at a hill perhaps
an eighth of mile away. 1t seemed
to be about $50 yards wide and 100 feet
high. The motion was that of ball
rolling over and over, not spiral, and
it came on rather slowly, perhaps
thirty miles an hour. Whatever the
ball of cloud struck was lifted right
off the ground. saw it pick up house
after house between the hill and me,
and the cloud seemed to be full OF
flying boards and timbers. When the
ball reached Mrs. C--s, the house
nearest me, it went straight up of
it's foundations. The house remained
intact until it was about twenty or
twenty-five feet from the ground;
then it burst open, and the fragments
flew in all directions. 1t looked like
an exploding bomb. The corn and
cotton standing a hundred feet on eth
er side of the storms path were un-
injured. but whenever the cloud struck
the higher ground it spread out, cover
ing a wider strip of the surface. When
the cloud struck me l went up lightly
and easily, and the sensation was not
unpleasant, but l came down hard,
and was badly shaken up, although
not seriously injured. On the highway
north of Sherman. fence wires were
torn from the posts and pounded into
the hard surface of the road dis
lance of two or three inches"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
Something New for LIghtship

Diamond Shoal lightship, No. Il,
Capt. Tawes, arrived in Baltimore from
her station to be installed with a new
electrical apparatus, which is to send
a 13-inch beam of light from the ships
deck to the clouds, says the Baltimore
American. Two clusters of lights now
at the tops of the two masts are visible
thirteen miles at sea, but it is expect
ed that the pillar of light rising to the
skies may be seen thirty and forty
miles at sea. This new marine signal
is the device of Commander Albert
Ross, inspector of the Fifth Light
house district, and will be put in op-
Grafton Jan. 1. 1t is expected that the
sky-piercing shaft of light will also
be adopted at Fire Island, Sandy Hook
and Nantucket Shoals lights. It is not
proposed to abolish the present mast
head beacons. AS guide to mariners
coming in from sea the 13-inch cleo
trio beam, reaching up in the dome
of night, will be as far ahead of big
electric beacons of the first order as
the beacons were ahead of oil lamps.
This innovation is not only of local
but worldwide interest.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

MISS GOBLET SAID TO BE ENGAGED
TO LORD INGESTRE.
wealehiest 'of American Heiresses May
Give Her Hand md Fortune to
british Earl-Match Would He Salts
factory to Society.

Miss May Goelet, the wealthiest
American heiress in her own right,
who is spending the winter in London
with her mother is reported, on good
authority, to be engaged to Viscount
Ingestre. the SON and heir Of the Earl
Of Shrewsbury and Talbot, who is the
premier Earl of the Realm, and as such
takes precedence of all peers of the
rank of earl in the British empire.
Miss Goelet and young Lord Inges-
ire have been staying ct Wilton, near
Salisbury, the country seat of the Earl
and Countess of Pembroke, and not
only have they been much in one an
others company, but have likewise
been photographed together. Lord In
gestre is the most intimate friend of
Lord Herbert, son of Lord Pembroke,
whose coming Of age has just been
celebrated. Miss .Goelet Is regarded as
almost one OF the family at Wilton,
being q niece of Mrs. Michael Herbert,
whose husband is younger brother Of
Lord Pembroke.
A marriage between Lord Ingestre
and Miss Goelet would give satisfac-
ton to London society. and could not
in any sense be compared to those
unions in which the American bride
has brought all the fortune and the
titled husband has nothing but his cor
onet, for Lord lngestre's father is not
only extremely wealthy through the
Inheritance of entailed property from
his ancestors, but has likewise made
several fortunes on his own account,
as owner of the celebrated Brereton
collieries, and also as the principal cab
owner in London. His ancestral es-
tates extend over about $4,000 acres,
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
New euro for Rheumatism.

Hester, Mo-, Dec Ian unusual
case which has recently come to light
here Is exciting the keenest interest
among medical men. Mrs. Ellenor
Guardhouse suffered for over forty
years with Sciatic Rheumatism so Sc
verely and SO constantly that her case
has been regarded as chronic and alb
solutely incurable. At times the pain
was almost unbearable and she could
not rest day or night.
Some months ago she was induced to
try Dodd's Kidney Pills. remedy re-
Gently introduced in this neighborhood.
The immediate results were magical
and she continued till she had taken
eight boxes, and now she declares she
has not an ache or pain left. She be-
Heves that she is completely and per-
manently cured and as she has not
used the pills for some months and Is
to-day in the best of health the doctors
who were at first skeptical are amazed.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
Number Of Telescopio Meteors.

Every observer notes considerable
number of small meteors while he is
engaged in telescope observation. The
field Of view Of telescope is a very
small fraction of the whole surface Of
the heavens. A simple proportion
based on the number of observed me-
teors enables an estimate of the num-
Der of meteors in the whole sky to be
made. This estimate has been made
by DR.. See of the Naval Observatory
at Washington, who concludes that
about 1,20O,0O0,O00 telescope meteors
appear in the whole sky daily. About
ten to fifteen million meteors bright
enough to be visible to the naked eye
encounter the earth daily, according
to the calculations of Prof. Newton.
Most of them are consumed in the at
mosphere. The increment of the mass
Of the earth is extremely small.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
Threw Away a Fortune.

AS a victim of hard luck, French
provision dealer, whose shop is in the
Faubourg Montmartre, Paris, is en-
titled to first place.
Being pressed for ready money a
few days ago he sold TOR a moderate
sum Vile de Paris lotrsry bond of
the 1869 issue. Two days laser, when
the drawing took place, he learned, to
his profound disgust. that the bond he
had parted with had brought in $4O,.
900 to its new possessor.
Precautions have been taken to pre-
vent the unfortunate publican from
committing suicide.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

and his income from land alone Is es-
timated at a quarter of million dol
lars year. ,..l-r..... 49, g..
The present Countess of Shrewsbury
was the heroine of a somewhat sensa-
tional elopement nearly quarter of a
century ago. special trains and steam
yachts figuring in the affair, the COM
panion of her flight being her present
husband, the earl, whom she married
after her divorce from her first hus-
band, Miller Mundy.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
How's ThIs3

We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for any
case Of Catarrh that cannot be cured oy HANS
F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Props. Toledo. O.
We, the undersigned, have known r. J:
perfectly honorable in all business transactions
and financially able to carry out any oollsa-
lions made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo
o.; Walding, Kinnan & Marvin. Wholesale
Druggists. Toledo, Ohio
ing directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces
of the system. Testimonials sent free Prlce
S5c per bottle. Sold by all druggists
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
HAIR SOFT AS SILK.

Now Scientific Treatment Kills Dandrun
Germs, and Makes Hair Soft.
It is an accepted fact, q proven fact.
that dandrun is germ disease; and it is
S1so a demonstrated fact that Newbro's
Herpicide kills the dandrun germ. With
out dandruff falling hair will stop, and
thin hair will thicken. Herplcide not
only kills the dandrun germ, but 1t also
makes hair as soft as silk. It is the most
delightful hair dressing made. It
cleanses the scalp from dandruff and
keeps it clean and healthy. Itching and
irritation are instantly relieved, and per-
manently cured. At all druggists. There's
nothing Just as good" Take no substt-
tute Ask for "Herpicide."
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
Madame MOdjeska,

Madame Modjeska, the popular
actress, is great joker. At a small
social gathering, composed chiefly of
Americans, she was asked to sing a
song in her native tongue. At first
she declined, but at last complied.
the melody elected enthusiastic compli-
ments, some of her hearers declaring
that the charm OF the Polish words
was irresistible. 10 an intimate
friend Madame Modjeska afterward
contided that, not being able to re-
member perfectly any Polish Tyre, She
had simply sung the numerals of her
native tongue from one to a hundred!
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
Did you ever see teacher who was
contented with her work?

Naturally people want to be WELL. for
Christmas for nothing so promotes hap
piness and good cheer. Therefore. take
Garfield Tea now; its uses are manifola'
liver, kidneys or bowels: it cleanses the
system and purifies the blood, thus re.
moving the cause of rheumatism. gout
and many chronic diseases. 1t Is good Tor
young and old and has been held IN the
highest repute for many years. Pnysi-
clans recommend 1t,
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
The motto of a certain Kansas

The motto of certain Kansas
paper is to Lie, Steal, Drink and
Swear" The editor thus explains its
meaning: when you lie, let it be
down to pleasant dreams; when you
steal, let it be away from immoral
associates; when you drink, let it be
pure water; when you swear, let it
be that you will patronize your home
paper, pay your subscription, and not
send your job work away from home"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

ihe common lizard changes its
color like the chameleon. 1t will be-
cone black after remaining on black
soil for about half minute, but upon
an old-tashioned wooden fence the
animal soon assumes the motely gray
hue OF a weather-worn rail. Upon
green leaf the same lizard will sooD
take on a greenish tint.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

A professor In the medical school
OF the Long Island College. in Brook
Ign, asked student how much he
would prescribe Of certain powerful
poison. "A teaspoonful,'' was the
reply. The professor made no COM
ment, but the student quarter of an
hour later, realized that he had made
a mistake and hurriedly said: PRO
lessor | want to change my answer
to that question Its too late, sir"
responded the professor, CURLY, look
ing at his watcn. your patient has
been dead fourteen minutes"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

FOR SALE-sumner County, Kansas wheat, corn
ana alfalfa farms; best in the world. Write Tor
list. wellington Land Co., Wellington, kansas.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
THE HANpsoMEsT CALENDAR

of the season Tin ten colors) six beau
tiful heads ION six sheets, 1Ox12 inch
ESD. reproductions of paintings by
Moran, issued by General Passenger
Department, Chicago, Milwaukee & st.
Paul Railway, will be sent on receipt
OF twenty-five cents. Address F. A.
Miller, General Passenger Agent, Chi
cago. s#
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Oil in Texas Gulf Coast lands, any
size tracts. Ten dollars up. Raise any
crop. Cheap r. r. rates. Write Tor
Information. w. S. Swilley, Houston,
Texas. ..u
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Are You Using Aliens Fooc-Eass1
1t is the only cure for Swollen.
Emarting, Burning, Sweating Feet.
Corns and Bunions. Ask for Aliens
Foot-Ease, a powder to be shaken in
to the shoes. At gil druggists and
shoe stores. csc. Sample sent FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy,
N. Y.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20
UNABLE TO STAND FOR MONTHS
BECAUSE or STRAINED ANKLES.
Cured by St. Jacob. on.

(From the Cardiff Times)
Among the thousands OF voluntary
endorsements Of the great value OF 81.
Jacobs Oil for sprains, stiffness and
soreness, is that OF Mrs. G. Thomas, :
Alexandra Road. Cell. Ysbrod, near
Pontypridd, South Wales, who says:
'It is with great pleasure that ! adj
my wiling testimony to the invaluable
excellence OF your celebrated st. ia
cobs Oil, as experienced in my own
case. I sprained both my ankles In
walking down some steps so severely
that was unable to stand for seVeral
months. The pain suffered was most
severe and nothing that used helped
me until applied St Jacobs Oil. when
they Immediately became better daily,
and in a short time was able to go
about, and soon after l was quite
cured. I am now determined to ad-
wise all persons suffering from pains
to use this wonderful remedy, which
did so much for me-" "
Mrs. Thomas does not enlighten us
as to what treatment she pursued DUR
ing the months she was unable to
stand, and during which time she was
suffering so much. but we venture to
suggest that had she called in any
well-known medical man he would
have at once prescribed st. Jacobs OIL,
for it has conquered pain upwards OF
fifty years. and doctors know there Is
nothing so good. The proprietors of
st. Jacobs oil have been awarded
twelve gold medals by different inter-
national exhibitions as the premier
pain-killing remedy of the world. The
committees who made the awards were
in each instance composed largely OF
the most eminent medical men OBJ
tainable. Mrs. Thomas evidently did
not know the high opinion in which
st. Jacobs Oil is held by almost every
progressive medical man.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever
used for all affections of the throat and
lungs-Wm. o. Endsley, Vanburen, Ind,
Feb, 10, 1900.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Nearly one-half OF. the students a;
Switzerland's universities last summer
Il 800 out Of 4.O46-were foreigners.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

The druggist who sells soothing
syrup is guilty of taking hush money.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

ta To Cure a Cold in One day.
druggists refund money il it fails to cure. Csc.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Ask your grocer for DEFIANCE
STARCH, the only Is OF. package for
10 cents. All other Decent starch
contains only IL OF. Satisfaction
Guaranteed or money refunded. ~
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

its no disgrace for a man to be
eoor-if he doesn't owe you anything.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

II q girl is silly and has lots o.
money she is called vivacious.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

You can't convince a woman that
talk is cheap.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

The average mans guardian angel
hasn't time to take vacation.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Mourning hides q multitude of other
feelings.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

You might as we'll talk to an echo
as to a person who always agrees
with you. ...
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

You cant be polite and always tell
the truth.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
Russ Bleaching Blue does the best work. All
good grocers. lOc. Avoid cheap limitations.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

| Fame is something that makes lot
of fools want to shake your hand.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

cured promptly by the use Of MATT ].
JOHNSON'S 60SS. Try it. All druggists.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES are the
brightest, fastest and easiest to use.
Sold by druggists, 1Oc. per package.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

The sign painter at least can al
ways make a name for himself.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

The mule draws the line at the canal
towpath.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Every man who does the very best
he can is true hero.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

A Christmas Philosopher.
He asks three great gifts-Health,
wea,th and Happiness Then give him
CARRIED Tea; it brings Good Health. pro.
notes Happiness and makes the pursuit
Of Wealth possible.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Ever notice how much contempt
people have for some of our mo
tions?" .a..
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Trust your secret to another and It
will be returned badly soiled.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Southern California has $500 acres
IN beets.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-12-20

Rheumatism
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-03-15


James Harold. veteran of the po'
lice department., who was placed upon
the retired list four years ago, was
seated on q bench in Portsmouth
square in San Francisco meditat
ing on the lively times of days gone
by. when he was joined by one Of the
Migrants who infest that quarter. The
stranger said he found it impossible
to get work, and suggested that tho
present economic conditions were o
full Justification for crime. Harold
aok the fellow to task for his logic.
EhS}nr left Ireland sixty years ago,
id the veteran, II had sixpence in
pocket. Since then have never
i, ZEN without money" "Oh, you're
4 liking through your hat" replied
le stranger, land to prove it, I'll
J list bet you fifty cents you cannot
how twenty-dollar piece now"
Harold accepted the wager, and draw
ng tifty-cent piece from his pocket,
vas about to place it in the hands OF
stakeholder, when the stranger
grabbed the money and started to
run. Harold was too quick for him,
however, and before the fellow could
get away he landed once OF twice on
his neck. The stranger showed fight,
and Harold with his cane beat him
into submission. The offender was
taken to the city prison, where, under
the name of Matthew Dalton, he was
booked on charge of petty larceny.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1901-03-15
THE DUH Of MOTHERS.

What suffering frequently results
from mothers ignorance or more
frequently from mothers neglect to
properly instruct her daughter!
Tradition says woman must SUI
fer" and young women are SO taught.
There is little truth and great deal
of exaggeration in this. If a young
woman suffers severely she needs
treatment, and her mother should see
that she gets it.
Many mothers hesitate to take their
daughters to a physician for examina'
ton; but no mother need hesitate to
write freely about her daughter OF
herself to Mrs. Pinkham and secure
the most efficient advice without
charge. Mrs Pinkham's address is
Lynn, Mass. ...--i ,.,t,,.' II e.