The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1901-03-01

mead and reduce his punishment to for
TEXTURE OF estate and to perpetual ban
ishment from our imperial court.
Still Another Traitor.
General Harrison Is not the only
traitor who has set his tongue a-wag-
gtng and who has taken his pen in
hand by reason Of Marks unaccounta-
BILE negligence in adopting my advice.
A vagrant, globe trotting scribbler
named Samuel L. Clemens, better
known by his sobriquet of Mark
Twain" was emboldened by General
Harrison's example to indite certain
reflections overwhelmingly design
ed-to bring our imperialistic fad into
contempt and to make it and its propa-
gandists the laughing stock of all crea-
zion. Marks article demonstrates be-
yond all peradventure that he is as
great a master Of irony as of humor, RI
valing VOltaire, Frederick the Great and
John James ingalls, in the former as he
rivals Henry Fielding, Abraham Lin
coin and Artemus Ward in the latter.
Now, Mark has tabernacled in the flesh
considerably more than threescore
years and consequently ought to have
known better than to run amuck on
Marks imperialistic host. His case is
q sad one and is fresh illustration of
the truth Of the ancient saw that ian
old fool is the greatest Of all FOOLS"
When Mark hauls him to the bar on q
charge Of leze majesty and when 1t is
everlastingly too late to do him any
good, Mark will learn several things,
inter ALA that age like ignorance does
not excuse. In extenuation of his trea-
son he may plead that he is a Nilsson
rian and therefore must be shown; also
that millions love him not for the enc
mics he has made, but for the children
Of the brain which he has begotten,
among whom are Colonel Mulberry Sell
lers, scotty Briggs, Senator Dillworthy,
Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.
The Unkindest Cut Of AN.
But by failing. refusing and neglect
ing to hearken unto me Mark brought
upon himself worse calamity than
the treason of Harrison and Clemens.
The former Is resident Of Indiana
and might be shunted out Of the way
as political has been.' The latter Is
a citizen Of Connecticut and might be
got rid Of by being denounced as a
"joker," but while millions Of eyes
were glued to the pages of The North
American Review, reading the effu-
sions Of General Harrison and Mark
Twain, fierce fire from the rear was
poured into Marks grand army OF I'M
perialists by an Ohio statesman-an
Ohio statesman still in harness, and a
Republican Ohio statesman at that
Hon. Seth w. Brown, representing the
district containing the sacred tomb Of
Rutherford B. Hayes, who committed
the monumental theft Of all the ages
by stealing from Samuel ]. Tilden the
presidency of the United States.
That was the most unkindest cut OF all.
Then you and and all Of us fell down,
While bloody treason dourished over us
Since Seth Thomas invented his clock
no man named Seth has accomplished
so great work as Seth Brown will ac-
complish II he succeeds by hook or
crook, f1nesse or main strength. in Sc
curing the passage of the resolution
which he has introduced Into the house
and which runs in these Words.
Resolved BY the senate and house Of repre-.
sentatives Of the United States Of America in
congress assembled, That it is the purpose Of the
United States in retaining possession of the Phil
tppine Islands to aid their inhabitants when they
submit to the authority Of the United States, in
establishing capable and stable free govern
ment, and when this purpose shall be fully accom-
plished the United States, under suc, reservations
and conditions as may be wise and just, will re.
linquish sovereignty in those islands.
Seth Brown of Ohio.
If Brother Brown gets that through,
In history he will be known as The
Brown. Tom Brown of Rugby, old
John Brown Of Osawatomie, Brown
Sequard (he Of the goat LYMPH and all
the rest of the Browns will not be COM
parable to Seth Brown, Ohioan, Repub-
lican, statesman. When Mark heard of
Browns treason, he must have felt as
did imperial Caesar on celebrated and
lamentable occasion when in agony of
both soul and flesh he exclaimed eft
tn, Brute!" It was bad enough for
General Harrison and Mark Twain to
hamstring Marks imperial charges,
but they are only 3'outlanders," while
Brown is a member Of the household
troops. He is Buckeye, belongs to
the elect and, being an Ohioan, was
born to hold Office as naturally as the
sparks fly upward. That Brown should
Introduce the foregoing iconoclastic
resolution must be rated as among the
most astounding and mystifyinp nhe.