The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1901-01-04
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

ooking at the featherly bipeds this
week, it being the 9th annual chicken
show.
Silence is really and truly golden
in Neodesha since the telephone rates
have been showed from 81 to 81 per
month.
The latest census shows that Kan
sas has the largest percentage of her
children in school of any state in the
Union.
Mrs. J. M. Ditto, of Neodesha, be-
ing proud of her ancestors and real
izing last week that they had all left
for better world, ditto.
"a Texas Steer" opened Cedar
Wales new opera house, but as the
accounts tell of no deaths, the beast
had probobly been dehorned.
An Emporia clerk spends five even
ings each week calling on as many
different girls. The Gazette thinks he
will grow rich from saving fuel bills.
Miss Oma Beers entertained at New
ton during the holidays with a Thin
BILE party. Most Cf the boys present
preferred stems to thimbles, but oeer's
beer.
A Blue Rapids lady has been
greatly upset because OF the theft of
10 turkeys a few days before Christ
mas. The next day after New Year
they came home, having simply hid
out from danger.
Ernest Thompson of Pittsburg is
confined to his bed because a horse
stepped on him, and should few
night mares pace athwart his slum-
bers he will probably become a prey
to the undertaken.
Instead of saying that he chewed on
the hind leg of Belgian hare, Ed
Howe says he "dined yesterday on the
Duke of Burgundy, son of Harold the
Mighty" Howe's friends hope the
ped-agreed with him.
Much of Mrs. Nations notcriety
over that Wichita mirror smashing is
due to male establishment that any
woman could have the heart to break
n mirror, and having the heart, could
hit what she threw at.
In thirty years the ElDorado Re-
publican has had but two forms pied.
| The third occurred Monday and the
editor says when the form went into
pi, 'rhe office went into the soup and
the devil into the hell box"
A bride and groom we're stopping
in a Wichita hotel. The groom APP.
preached his room and rapping on
the door, called "Honey ~ Receiv'
ing no answer he repeated the call a
second and third time. Then a grutl
male voice replied: Go away, you
! blithering Idiot This is a batE
| room not a beehive ~
Eugene Ware is the only Kansar
brave enough to enter the century
with this New Years Greeting"
man who was hunting for fun
offered % cents for pun,
| Then n man from Topeka
He shouted Eureka %
| And said. nineteen hundred-and won,'
| Along came a man with gun,
And the guilty one started to run,
| But the blood-thrsty gunner
He slaughtered the runner
And sO-he not gotta de mum.
There is a factory at Parsons which
makes fire starters" They grind W
cobs, mix in patent fluid and pro-
duce brick that makes a fire that
shames the gasoline cantor quickness
without the attendant necessity o.
having ones mail forwarded to a bet
ter land.
The Chetopa Advance printed pag,
of letters from children to Santa Claus
Here is one from a tiny mink who will
make someyoung farmers cash rattle
'0ld SANITY want II doll and Il dol
buggy and u set of dishes and tabl,
and my stockins full of candies aud
want little bed for my doll and lit
tie chair for my doll. Well | Dom
Want enie thing elce tell mex Christ
mos then | will write again. Mis-.
Vallie Rhodes"
The Kansas City Times says; Th'
Booze case recalls story about how
Il Kansas boy did business with {
gang of West Point rowdies who at
tempted to haze him. He was II sol
of w. w. Martin of Fort Scott, de
partment commander of the Kansas g
A. II. He was on guard with instruc
tions to let no one pass him. Bullie
got a sheet, rugged it up and made for
him. He commanded the apparitiol
to stop. 1t didn't. He commanded
it again. 1t took no heed. A hal
dozen men jumped out upon him. Blu
he stopped the ghost" by ramminl
his bayonet through it., and n momen
later bully was carried away on |
shutter. There was no further attemp
to haze young Martin.
-@-e--
IL. fol la