davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12


rransssr ef Medal Dslen9ls9 % chr
caeo's Meansst Mas
AZ one OF the elevators IN the biz
once building touched bottom and The
door opened to let its load Of passen'
eers out short, dumpy, perspirms man
With cropped beard and protuberant
stomach tried to crowd bis way In. 10
rardless OF the fifteen or twenty per
sons thar were trying to make then
exit.
.Don't be IN ! hmrJr' said the ele'
vator boy.
.But / am in hurryr impatiently
exclaimed he Of the squat Agure. I've
been waiting here I've minutes"
"You haven't been waiting nve sec
onds." retorted the elevator boy. III
you had been. you know, you could
have gone up in one Of the other cars
THAT'S all right" said the other
still pushing and elbowing his way IN
Maybe you know"
Il think do"
"Why Ia IT," asked the man who had
been nattened up against the side OF the
elevator, that It's always somebody
Of his build and atmospheric displace'
ment that acts the pork in place Of
this kinds"
Nobody seemed to know. The gen
eralization may have been too sweep
ing. There are hogs Of all degrees Of
obesity and tenuity.
The man with the stomach took pos
session Of the corner farthest from the
door.
In a few minutes the elevator started
upward with full list Of passengers
Second floorr' shouted one Of them
It was the parsonage with the stom
ach.
With q series of commissions be
fought his way out and stepped on al
second.
He was followed by a man who
looked as II some secret grief was prey
ing upon his mind.
"Comrade." said the latter, I'D like
to speak word with you"
The other turned around.
"What do you want?"
It'll take only about minute to tel
you. Several days ago. when was sit
ting cat-acornered in a crowded street
car, a man gave me a medal. He said
It was given to him by a stranger be
cause he had monopolized the narrow
strip of shade at the left edge of the
sidewalk on hot day. And now"
whats all that got to do with mer
"Nothing. only that medal belongs t
the meanest man in Chicago. l have
carried 1t three or four days without
having any right to It 1t belongs t.
you, sir"
With a dexterous motion he slipped
into the waistcoat pocket of the squat
ty parsonage fat round piece of gal
vanized iron with an Inscription
stamped upon 1t and bolted down thu
nearest stairway looking immensely re
lieved. Chicago Tribune.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
One OF the OuaIitv.

At Newcastle shipping once lately
q sailor. who had been on shore con-
siderable time, was singing on" when
he was asked:
what Ii your namef'
"John Smith," replied the seaman.
"And your address,
II have no address," was the sailors
reply.
'sYou must have some address. /" blurt-
ed out the ofllcial Where do you re-
sids1 Where have you been living the
last six smonthsT
The tar looked uneasy. but replied:
~Well, l suppose u l must tell you, l
must. It's No. III coal truck. Lon
don Answers.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
Angling Society Protects Fish.

One of the most important duties
of the Thames Angling Preservation
Society is the recovery from the reser-
voirs of the London water companies
of the hundreds of thousands of fish
which, is various stages of babyhood,
find their way from the Thames into
those large sheets of water. Were it
not for the frequent MEETINGS which
take place, the most serious harm
would probably result to the river
from the vast number of fish which
are constantly being drawn from it.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
REMEDY FOR FAT AND LEAN.
Why the sams Prescription Was Gives
to Each hsss

Why the same Prescription Was Gives
70 Each hes.
The pretty stenogr pher had never
worked for q physician before. and
hence when on this first morning. Of.
fee hours began. she settled back In
her chair to listen with as much inter
est as though she were at matinee
The first patient was young man
whose padded coat would not conceal
the narrowness of his shoulders and
the weakness of his chest. He was 9
very puny young man. indeed.
Doctor" he said. II want to get fat
l want to resemble q man rather than Q
lead pencil. l want to wear bathing
suit without shame"
The physician answered.: Rise at
o'clock and exercise an hour with chest
weights and Indian clubs. Then take 9
cold bath and breakfast without cot
fee or tea. During the day contrive
somehow, to get two hours walk, and
sleep at least nine hours a night. Dom
smoke II you follow these directions
you'll gain ten pounds In month"
After the thin young man had gone
fat young woman entered.
Doctor" she said, make me thin
Take OF most of this too solid flesh
Let me wear straight front like othel
girls"
The doctor prescribed: Rise at
o'clock and exercise an hour. Then take
q cold bath, and for breakfast have M
coffee or sweets. Get two hours wall
during the day, and sleep at least nin'
hours every night. You'll lose tel
pounds a month If you obey me"
The patient left, and the stenogra
pher asked the doctor how 1t was h'
prescribed for leanness and for fatnes'
the same thing. "Pecause." he said
that thing is exercise and exercise
makes you right. 1t makes you, If yol
are too thin, stouter. and, II you arr
too stout, thinner. 1t is the only rem
edy 1 have confidence in."-Philadel
phia Record.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
Untidy London.

A London medical journal says the
English metropolis is possibly the most
inconvenient and most untidy city of
Europe. The streets are either muddy,
slushy or dusty; they are Uttered with
straw, cabbage leaves. newspaper post
ers and omnibus tickets; they are con-
stantly being grubbed up for some rea-
son or other; barrels Of beer. Goals and
other goods are delivered across the
footways at all hours Of the day. So
long as London is governed by. or
rather Is dependent for its due regula-
ton upon, a number Of bodies all indie
pendent Of each other. so long win
nuisances of various ksuds continue.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
Relics Of an Ace Long Past.

The petrified forests of Arizona were
recently examined anew under tn,
direction of the general land Office.
The silicified logs lie in the greatest
abundance within an area of eight
square miles in Apache county. In
some places they lie more thickly
than they could have stood while
living as trees, and it is thought they
must have been carried there by a
swift current of water in the mesozotic
age.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Richard Mansfield recently sent the
following letter to an aspiring young
playwright who had submitted to the
actor a closely written manuscript play
of unusual length:
my Dear Young Mani am quite
sure that anyone who could accomplish
so extraordinary piece of penmanship
as the Enclosed must have letter In
his pocket somewhere addressed to pos
terity. l advise you to deliver it at
once"
In reply he received the following:
'Posterity' Orchard Mansfeld)-
Following your esteemed advice, l
again send to posterity my manu-
script"
Mansfield was so amused that he Is
said to be quite laboriously at work
reading the once rejected manuscript.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Mr.. Astor cannot be peer oil Lns
land because the law prohibits na.ui :,
allied subjects from attaining 10 sn" -
dignity. Mr.. Aston has tried so hal ,.
to get away from his fur and pe ~
ancestors that he has brought " "
the notice OF all the world, ana ~
nothing else for his pains except a iho
appointment. 1t is q wise son WV ,
accepts his own pedigree.-Pitts0u'S
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

No century has ever begun on 1
Wednesday, Friday or a Sunday,
and the same order of days is repeat
ed each 20 years. January and Octo-
Der of each year always begin with
the same day; SO with April and
July; so with September and Deem
Der; so with February, March and
November.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
A Bad q; e; e: 8:
throu
Disease

those who have learned from bitter ex-
perience know anything of its nature or
characteristics. At hrst little ulcer or
sore appears, then glands of the neck or
Eroins swell; pinlples break out On the
breast, back or some other part of the
body and fill with yellow pustular matter |;
the mouth and throat become sore and
the tongue is at all times badly coated.
Headaches are frequent, and muscles and
joints throb and hurt, especially during
damp, rainy weather. These are some OF
the symptoms of that most loathsome Of
Ill diseases, Contagious Blood Poison.
This strange pois-
Blood Poison AZ: a., .i 1;s:r some
eaten up with it within short time after
being inoculated, while others show but
slight evidence of any faint for q long
time after exposure, but its tendency in
every case Is to complete destruction Of
the physical system, sooner or later.
S. S. S. is a safe and infalJible cure for
this bad disease-the only antidote for
this specific poison. It cures CONTAGIOUS
Blood Poison in every form and stare
thoroughly and permanently. s. S. S.
contains no Mercury, Potash or other
harmful minerals. but is strictly and
entirely vegetable remedy, and we offer
6I,ooo.oo reward for proof that it is not.
OUR MEDICAL, which was sstab-
DEPARTMENT.. !. 'a Soin ye:r: n asS,
work in relieving suffering. Give our
physicians . short history Of your case
and get their advice. This will cost
You nothing, and what you say viii be
held in strictest condolences. With
their help and . copy Of our book on
Contagious Blood Poison you can
manage your own case and cure your
SELF at home.
SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., Atlanta. G..
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

The !. $50 miles between Skagway
and st. Michaels, Alaska, are covered
by 600 dogs, working in relays Of Is
miles, in four and one-half days.
Between White Horse and Dawson,
40 horses are kept going day and
night in relays.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
Eczema
Hoods Cdrs0p0riLL0


A novel idea for sportsmen seems
to be of Portuguese origin. An cleo
trio lamp is placed on the collar OF
the hunting dog, and this frightens
foxes and badgers from their burrows
when the dog enters.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
South American Underground Telegraph

The Argentine Republic has been
obliged to put the telegraph line
between Rosario and Buenos Ayres
under ground, because on wet days
the electric current was dissipated
through the numerous spider webs
attached to the wires.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
Quite Likely.

'The bicycle was fad that had ita
day. Now, wonder what will follow
the automobile"
"An automobile policeman, guess. .
Philadelphia Press.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
Not Smooth.

QUINN think Bob Evans called
his book a Sailors Log"
De Fonte-Yes, and it seems to me
some people ran against good many
knots when they read it.-Chicago
News.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Professor-If person In good health,
lint who imagined himself sick. should
send for you, what would you do! Med
ical Student-Give him something to
make him sick, and then administer an
antidote. Professor-Don't waste any
more time here. Hang out your shin
ele."-New York Weekly.
Papa (severely)-Did you ask NAM
ma If you could have that apple! Five
Year-Old-Yes. papa. Papa-Be care
ful now. I'll ask mamma, and II she
saws you didn't ask her I'll whip you
for telling a story. Did you ask NAM
ma? Five-Year-Old-Papa, asked her.
"a pause.) She said couldn't have II
-Tit-Bits.
Solicitors: Mother-Where have you
been, JOHNNY Johnny-Down BY tn
ole mill watchin' a man paint pic
ture. Mother-Didn't you bother him.
Johnny? Johnny-Naw. he seemed to
be real interested In me. Mother-What
did he say? Johnny-He asked me II
didn't think twas most dinner time
and you'd miss me.-Harlem Life.
you are convicted Of bigamy." re.
marked the Judge, impressively. while
the prisoner glanced over his shoulder
1t three -visaged women. "Now,"
continued the court, II intend to give
you the severest penalty the law al
lows" Here the prisoner covered bis
face with his hands and wept. II shall
sentence you to prison for two years.
What are you grinning att" II
thought" smiled the prisoner. through
his tears, you were a-going to turn me
loose"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

These big guys Of the company don't
know much" brakeman said to-day;
"all they know Is that they own the
road"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

eeTe Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
ITO after first days of DIR. Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer Send for FREE trial bottle and treat
~ Dr.. II. KLINE Ltd. 93l Arch St.. Philadelphia Pa
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Piso's Cure is the best medicine we ever
used for all affections of the throat and
lungs.-WM. o. ENDsLEY, Vanburen, Ind,
Feb. 10, 1900.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Hamlin's Wizard Oil Co. send song
books free. Your druggist sells the oil,
and it stops pain.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

The total undeveloped energy Of M
agara Falls IL estimated BY electrical
experts to be 5000 600 horse power.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
Ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

The chewing gum trust causes more
jawing than any other.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

Tobacco cultivation ana manufactur.
Ing In the Atlantic States u greatly
hampered Tor want of workers,
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12

holds out the helping hand to You, and
will advise you without money and
without price. Mrs. Pinkham's labora-
tory is at Lynn, Mass. Write letter
there telling all your symptoms and
get the benefit of the greatest expert
ence in treating female ills.
"I was suffering to such an extent
from ovarian trouble that my physi-
clan thought an operation would b
necessary.
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound having been recommended to
mo, decided to try it. After using
several bottles found that I was
cured. My entire system was toned
ND, and l suffered no more with my
ovaries. n-MRs. ANNA ASTON, Troy, Mo.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-12-12
There Il q certain
disease that has
come down to US
through many CEN

turies and Is
older than
history itself,
yet very few
outsidA of
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

Dr. T. B. Fleming. dentist,
Crown and bridge work a specially
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

Ii CONVERSATIONS one hears in
the stores, on the street corners
and in the offices. are any indica-
ton, the citizens ticket is meeting
with general favor. The head
of the ticket alone commends it
to the voters of Florence. John
Jacobs is recognized as a man of
more than ordinary business abili-
ty, broad experience, a friend of
everybody, honest, unbiased, fair
and every inch a man. Write
me as one who loves his fellow
man. was the sentiment expressed
by the poet and such man is
John Jacobs. And he will be the
next mayor of the city of Florence.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
DIRTY WORK.

The real spirit of G, w, Tullis,
candidate for mayor on the union
ticket, was manifest this morn
ing when he, in company with the
cringing sycophant who has so
suddenly developed love for that
party, j. w. Work, bulldozed Mrs.
Ruddick into resigning from the
citizens ticket. A man with soul
so dwarfed could never hope to be
elected to the office of dog catcher,
let alone the highest office within
the gift of a city
Right thinking people will rise
up on masse against such an
outrage, and will snow TulIis
under so deep his head will never
show again We cannot believe
that the better class of union men
will endorse the action of these
two little leaders, and they will
undou btedly show their resentment
at the polls.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
Classified Advertisements.

Advertisements Will be run in this depart
ment at the rate of u words in issues for %
cents, payable in advance; no advertisement
will be taken for less than 25 cents. Here is an
opportunity to Hdvertise at a minimum cost
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
1T TAKES THE CAKE
District Registration.

Public notice is hereby given that | have an.
pointed W. H. Tabor registration deputy for
the city of Florence. and that my SAID deputy
VIII be present at. the city hall in said city
commanding on Tuesday, the 12thday of Mrr rcf
1901, for the purpose OF taking original registra-
lions OF electors residing in the Florence rigis-
tration district which district comprises She
first. second and third wards of Florence pre-
cinct No. =.
Said deputy will attend and be present at the
place above mentioned for five consecutive DAYS
and each day from noon until nine o'clock %, m
Said deputy will also be present at the sams
place from noon until nine p. m. each day. com
mencine Monday, March IS. to and including
Friday. March %. 1901, for the purpose OF
CHANGING RESIDENCE of registered yotars
ONLY. -
Witness my hand and official seal, at my Office
in Canon City, on this 4th day of March. 1901.
lskAL;l l.. x. KoHLaAN
<-i' County Clerk.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

The man who has been success
full in private business is the prop
er man to entrust with the bust
ness of municipality. Such are
candidates for aldermen on the
citizens ticket This is an all i'm
portant matter to take under con-
sideration when deciding which
ticket you should vote.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

White aprons 25c at Proctor's
7tf
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
CASH BASIS.

Florence, Colo, Feb. l3, 1901.
We, the undersigned lalndrymen of
Florence, beg to inform you, that on and
after the 1lth day of March, 1901, we
will adopt the cash system. This is made
necessary by the rapidly increasing mum
Der of accounts and our inability to col
lect same. This system may beAnew in
Florence but in other cities it is the only
one in vogue. With great many of our
customers we regret to be obliged to pur-
sue this course, but as we positively can
not discriminate, we trust that you will
appreciate our position.
FLORENCE STEAM LAUNDRY.
AMERICAN HAND LAUNDRY.
UNION HAND LAUNDRY.
y. B--For the convenience of our customers
we will issue coupon books sold for cash at a
per cent discount.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

THERE seems to be republican
Tammany in Florence as well as a
democratic one. The republican
gang seems to be made up of fif,
teen members however, while the
democrats number but five. We
are in doubt as to whether the
people of Florence will consent,
in any party. to be dictated to by
few wouId-be leaders and chronic
office-seekers.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

a VOTE for the citizens ticket is
vote for good government and a
business administration. That is
just what the people of Flor
ence need. The city is growing
rapidly and the necessity of capa-
BILE officials is too obvious to need
argument. The citizens ticket
will be elected by an immense ma
jority.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
CITIZENS TICKET.

For Mayor
JOHN JACOBS.
Alderman, First Ward
JOHN MCDONALD.
Alderman, Second Ward, (For years.
IL. l.. RICE.
Alderman, Second Ward, (For Year,
THOMAS BLUNT.
Alderman, Third Ward
f. G. WILLIAMS.
City Clerk
MRS. L. b. RUDDICK.
City Treasurer
ID. A. JACK.
Police Magistrate
GEO. p. NIX.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
City Council rleeting.

| Slty SOunSii I tStliiiS.
The city council held regular
meeting at s O'Clock last night,
Mayor Newkirk in the chair, and
Aldermen Lewis. Lines, Houston
and Guilinger present.
The first business after roll call
and reading of m nutes of the pre-
vious meeting was the selection of
successors for the unexpired terms
of Alderman Richardson and
Police Judge johnson John
Blunt was unanimously ELECTED to
the former vacancy and James p.
Callahan to the latter. A few
minutes after, Mr. Blunt, who had
been summoned by telephone, en-
tered and took his place among
the municipal solons. The new
alderman was sworn in by Justice
Lockard on form written by City
Attorney MeseIve in the absence
| of printed form. He takes the
place of DR.. Richardson on various
com mittees.
A petition from w M. Rogers,
u E. Peak and Nj M Young COM
planning of the non enforcement
of the pound ordinance and re-
questing n better execution of the
same, was received and filed.
The Crank property question
was brought up by Houston. Lines
stated that Justice Lockard had
bid $500 for the property and this
Yas corroborated by the justice,
but the matter was allowed to
stand. The bid was for that por-
ton of the property left after a
street had been put through.
Next followed the reading of
monthly reports of the city treas
ure, clerk, marshal, street com mis-
sioner and water uperintendent.
| In connection with the first re-
port, Mr.. Meserve advised the
council not to issue warrants and
bonds regarding the sewer propo-
sition. AS they had originally
determined to use bonds, they had
no right to issue warrants,
The applications for pound.
master We're then taken up, there
being four in all On motion of
Lewis, James A. Warner was elect
ed, provided that he furnish his
own horse. Warner has held the
same job before. He wa one of
the applicants
The reservoir question was then
brought up by Guiinger and quite
little discussion followed. Hous-
ton stated his objections to the
mayor, and Lewis followed by
denying that he mad authorized
I
anyone to build a $4,000 reservoir
and further asserted that Houston
and Guilinger had no right to stop
the work. He finally moved that
the engineer be instructed to go 2
feet deeper down if shale was not
struck. Then City Engineer Nc
Fall suggested that the bank be
made feet higher than the top of
the old reservoir, which be thought
could be done without touching
shale, and Lewis changed his
motion to accord with this idea
being seconded by Lines. The
motion was carried, Houston and
Guilinger voting no, and Blunt
aye.
A big stack of bills was read
and on motion of Lewis, were al
lowed and warrants ordered drawn.
The meeting then adjourned, or
rather took recess until 7:45 p.
N. tonight.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

The fact should not be over
looked that the citizens ticket is
entirely representative. 1t is not
republican, not democratic, not
union labor, not anti-union; just
representative in every way 1t
does away with all factional fights
of the past. 1t has every qualiti-
cation to make it the winning
ticket
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

UP TO today Mrs Ruddick was
everybody's choice for city clerk,
but when she places herself in the
hands of men of the Tullis and
Work type, she cannot hope for
too much at the hands of decent
people.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12

No. Mr.. WORK, if "The Trib. y
wanted to antagonize union labor
it would do as you did last sum
mer discharge and blacklist un-
ion men and employ rats" The
Trib was the first to sign the union
scele, no force being necessary.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
Wanted,

To be kept busy buying and sell
ing second hand goods Mt the old
stand. Blackmer & Booking.
44-tf.
The Florence daily tribune., 1901-03-12
Look Herel

| have residence lots and bust
ness lots. in any part of the city.
acres, ranch property, horses. wag-
ons, buggies, and, in fact, every
thing to be found in the real es-
tate line w. p. Hawkins. 4-tf