davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
A Few Maxims of Cardinal Manning

Let us beware how we give much
care or thought to anything but the
pertecting of our hidden life. What
else is worth living for? What else
snail endure at Christs coming? Let
US live ever waiting for that hour.
al crosses or contradictions, or trou-
pies come do not murmur or chafe
against them. Take them calmly. and
accept them thankfully.
st. Gertrude once heard these words
IN vision; My child, there are MANY
more saved than thou thinkest for
condemn no one who does not willfulIv
resist My grace"
Poverty is full of potent virtues. 1t
Is a sort of discipline, the ascetic rule
OF Gods providence. They that are
poor are already and unconsciousIv
under q discipline of humility and
self denial, anu
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

The Irish parliament leaders called
on President Roosevelt the other day
and were cordially received, While the
ladies of the party were paying their
respects to Mrs. Roosevelt. Teddy took
Redmond 10 one side from the others
and both men conversed privately.
London is amazed; really and positive
ly, shocked
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

The presence Of a dude hunter in the
Adirondacks or in the mountains OF
Maine is a sure sign that something
will be hit instead Of deer Up to the
present, twelve persons have been shot
by accident and five killed as result
Of bad shooting. And the regret is that
none Of the twelve We're dudes.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Although the terms Of the Hays
Pauncefote treaty cannot be published
until they are first submitted to the
senate for confirmation or rejection, it
is understood that the big end of the
bargain was conceded to Uncle sam
and nobody else will put finger in the
isthmian canal pie.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

The fog in Chicago early this week
beat anything in London and resulted
IN loss of life through collisions. They
do different in Butte, A good many
people keep out of collisions by keep
ing in saloons until the smoke lifts
and sometimes after.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

The rest OF the British cabinet Law
the responsibility for the fan in Eng
fish consols TO an indiscreet speech Of
Sir Michael Hicks Beech. The real
man to charge up with this disturbance
in the English finances is General Louis
Botha
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Among the Denver ministers who
made Mormonism the topic of last
sundays sermons, we failed to find the
name of the erstwhile Henry Ward
Beecher OF Utah" that Methodist politi-
cal Sampson who Stayed the Mormons
with the Jawbone Of an ass every time
he appeared on the platform. Let's see
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

over in the Oregon Short Line Of
ices they are operating machines called
9rithmometers which adds. subtract.
multiply and divide figures. A machine
like that might prove useful in some
newspaper offices. particularly the sub
tract end of il.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
DESOLATION.

Well, remarked Noah thoughtfully,
as he looked out over the waste OF wa
ter, "it will be pretty lonely when we
get ashore"
Yes answered Japhet; there won't
be enough of the neis- -Jrs left to get up
a court OF inquiry and prove that we
didn't know how to run the ship
Washington Star
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

The new process for making gold is
said to be simply chemical combustion.
Usually the combustion takes place
after a man gets the gold.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Beaver, Richheld, Manti and other
places in Utah viii please wire their
specials TO the Salt Lake Herald. The
earthquake season is over and the star
shower season is on.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

We do not wish TO seem boastful con-
corning our November climate. but a
man with straw hat on his head was
seen walking serenely on salt Lakes
streets on Thursday.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

on account of the heavy rains hostil-
tiles in Venezuela have been declared
off for three weeks The management
issued rain checks.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
NATURAL MISTAKE.
4 y NJ

Desk I1ditor-Well, that's rough
Desk Editors Wife-Whats the mat
ter?
Desk Editor-Oh, I wrote "a Scene Of
Rare Beauty" for a headline over the
story of a ball. and the proof reader hiss
let it go "A Scene of Bare Beauty
SommerVilIe Journal
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

A Louisville OKyl man is going to
eat a straw hat TO pay an election bet.
The chances are it will take fire as soon
as it's down.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

The cruiser Albany is said to be a
menace TO health. Admiral Cervera
will testify that the Brooklyn was also
anti-health.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
THE INTERMoUNTAN AND COLORADO

his name was Ivy-leaf, or something
that sounds Ike the hex mine In south
ern Utah.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Mr. Hay is secretary of state in Pres
ident Rooseyelt's cabinet and Ruff!
Choate is our ambassador at the cour
of St James. Mckinley would mo-
have done what Cleveland did; neither
would Hay have suggested message
like CleveIand's So the glory of defy
ing the strong" remains yet with the
party of Jefferson and Jackson. and his
part in it made Grover Cleveland popu-
lar for at least nine days.
o O. 9
The next event of Importance occur
! ring during the week possesses a local
Significance, not only for Brigham
street in Salt Lake, but for all Utah,
besides adding another feather to the
cap of the mayor of that little town
In Nebraska where Senator Tom
kearns once played marbles. Tom had
been doing some climbing up the Alps
or Switzerland. of course in much
more leisurely and fashionable way
than he once climbed the hills around
: Park city. Returning from Switzer-
land, the Utah senator stopped over
great town Tom Kearns met Tom Lip
ton, the same who raced the Shamrock
for the Americas cup.
1t Is fact that every Celt has a
drop Of sporting blood in his veins,
and Senator Kearns may have two
drops; but that makes him all the
better, according to our notion out in
these mountains. Tom Lipton's sport
ing blood can never be impeached So
IL was the most natural thing in the
world for the two Toms TO meet, and
Tor Tom Upton to ask Tom Kearns
over to dinner. Among the dinner
party We're Mr.. Richards, Q. G. NJ p;
MI Lawrence, NJ. p; the Hon.
Charles Russell and Mr.. Carew, NJ. P.
The English people take everything
serious, even jokes. The presence of a
United States senator along with their
own q. G. M. Ps and other M. P.'s
meant something more than three
courses washed down with champagne.
It might mean that the owner OF the
shamrock and the owner of the Silver
King were promoting an Anglo-Ameri-
can alliance, measure so dear to the
heart of John Bull while the Internal
Beers are playing the mischief with
his army in South Africa AT any rate.
the affair of the dinner party was
'aoled from London to New York. and
likely from London to Capetown. in !
south Africa.
Nobody will apprehend the comical !
side of English austerity with better
'ellsh than Senator Kearns, and we
nay include Sir Thomas Upton as
veil And no persons would laugh
leartier than these two Toms, could
hey have seen the cartoon In We'd
lesdays Salt Lake Herald, along with
What is written by William G.. Jackson
o give 1t effect. 1t runs thus. under
he head of THE Meeting of the
'oms":
Sound the tom TOM
Our Tom
And Englands Tom
Are seated beside a buried
Tomahawk,
Drinking Tom and Jerry,
With the Jerry left out.
Says Englands Tom
To our Tom:
You're a Tom
After my own heart, Tom"
Says our Tom
To England's Tom
And you, too, Tom"
And then they both say:
Here's TO you, Tom"
And lot of English 4
Reporters !
Rush to their Offices 5
And grind out
A lot OF
Tommyrot
About the way
The Anglo American alliance
Is being cemented n
BY their Tom
And our Tom.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Lord Kitcheners determination of the
Beers is generally through the agency
OF the concentration camps
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Santa Claus is going TO bring Chaun-
cy Depew a blushing bride. Providing
Chauncey is a good boy.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
THAT REMINDS ME-
ALWAYs MIKE MURPnY:


Sir Thomas Shaughnessy has gradually
risen from poor Irish Catholic messen-
ger boy to president of the Canadian Pc
cific railway and a full-fledged Knight
says an exchange.
This reminds us of the story about the
Englishman and the Irishman I'm wash
ngtou. The Irishman was working rs a
street laborer, as the Englishman desired
to observe. When he came up TO the
Irishman he said:
VIII you please give me a mawtchE Of,
The Irishman gave him the 'ma"tch'
with which he lighted his pipe.
"Thawnks. very much. Don't you know
who | am?''
'Begob l don't" said the Irishman.
why, I'm Sir Reginald Rutherford,
first secretary of the British legation at
Washington, Knight Of the Garter
knight of the Bawth, Knight of the
Eagle and Knight of the Crown
Don't you know who / ann said the
ITishmdn.
I'm Mike Murphy. the night before
last. last night. tonight. tomorrow night
the night after and every other night
Ia ia"
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Saturday being bargain day" the
Bulgarians have put down the price OF
Miss Stones ransom TO $50 900.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
BEDTIME.

Mamma-Well. did you tell God how
naughty you have been?
Lily--No; ] was ashamed. 7 thought il
had better not get out of the family
Harlem Life.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
THE PROOF.

Then the defiant. militant spirit tool,
possession of the devoted missionary.
You think I'm a puddingI" he cried.
"Ill show you am not"'
The proof of the pudding is in the eat
ing" rejoined the savages, darkly.-Dc-
troit Free Press.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Jesus Christ did not blush to die for
youn and yet you blush to live for him,
st. John Chrysostom.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
KNOTT TELLS A STORY.

Ex-Governor Proctor Knott of Kentucky
and John Yerkes, an od-time friend, were
discussing the claims of Sampson and
Schley to the credit of smashing Cervera
at Santiago. Mr.. Yerkes took the ground
that all the honor of that memorable
conflict belonged to Sampson, and in
clined to entirely ignore Commodore
Schley'S part in at affair.
The governor listened until his compan-
ion had finished and then with that
characteristic twinkle in his eye, said:
MY dear sir, it is exceedingly gratifying
to me to hear you take the position you
have in the matter it is like a balm to
my conscience and settles point that has
worried me many a day. / was walking
through the woods once with boy frieni
OF mine when we saw a rabbit run into q
sink hole. We stood around the hole
awhile: then L told the boy TO keep watch
while ! went to get some fire to smoke
the rabbit out. When | returned the
boy had the rabbit. | took it away from
him, claiming that it belonged to me be
cause | had told him to catch it If II
came out That was over fifty years ago
and you are the first man that ever
agreed with me that the rabbit was mine.
/ feel now that [ was right in taking 1t,
and my conscience is at rest"
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23

Peter followed Jesus Christ afar; he
MouIu not nave denied him if he had
followed near.-St.s Ambrose.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
MOLE EPH'M CRUsHEs A DOUBTER

UNCLE EPHM CRUSHES A DOUBTER
For all your pretending to be so wise
Uncle Ephraim," said the colonel, who
dwelt In the big house on the hill. you
don't know how to bring up children.
Look at that young rapscalion of yours.
that's always rObbing my orchard"
Dat don't make no diff'nce bout a
mans wisdom, Cunnel." said Uncle
Eph' m. austerely how he done brunc
up his chillun, King Solomon hissef
raised boy dat turned out bad"
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
DIDNnT KNOW FRI-IT CAkE

Mr.. Newed-Um! Seems to me, ny
angel this hash has queer taste.
Young Wife-Hash! That's a fruit
cake!
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
GAVE HIM AN IDEA.

We'll. Of all things exclaimed Mrs.
Henry Peck. This paper tells of a man
who was declared insane and his wife
got divorce. and now he gets the courts
yOu''-
But Mr.. Peck was out of the room and
walking swiftly through the hall, muir
murinE:
~ wonder where they give short time
rates on padded cells. baltimore Ameri-
can.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1901-11-23
CARD FROM BISHOP scANLAN.

BISHOP OF SAT- Lake,
SAT- Lake CITY, oct. 2. 1900
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
Shrewd Thleyery.

Americans who 60 abroad must ex-
pect to be robbed right and left" said
young man who recently returned
from brief European tour. "One ex-
poets to be held up for all sorts of tips,
but when the beggars follow you home
you can't help feeling sort of admira-
tion for their ingenuity.
II went over on one OF the Red Star
line boats, and the first thing l did on
landing at Antwerp was to go to the
cable office and send n message to my
mother announcing my safe arrival. I
paid the toll and thought no more
about It until got home, when among
my mail found letter from the Ant
werp operator, addressed In care of my
mother, saying that through an error
he had not charged me enough for my
cahlegram sent on such and such a
date, that he had been obliged to pay
the difference out Of his own pocket
and as his salary was very small and
he had large family and all that sort
Of thing he felt sure would reimburse
him.
"The amount was trifiing one, and
I did send him a foreign money order
I have since learned from experienced
travellers that had been made the
victim Of systematic form Of robbery
and that scarcely cablegram is sent
from the other side unless it is of q
business nature that is not followed
by some such plea from the European
operator"
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
The Best Remedy For Stomach and Bowel
Troubles.

II have been In the drug business for
twenty years and have sold most all
of the proprietary medicines Of any
note. Among the entire list I have
never found anything to equal Cham
berlain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy for all stomach and bowel
troubles" says o. w. Wakefield, Of
Columbus, Ga. "This remedy cured
two severe cases of cholera morbus
in my family and have recommended
and sold hundreds OF bottles of 1t to
my customers to their entire satlsfac-
tion. 1t affords quick and sure cure
in a pleasant form, No family should
be without 1t. | keep 1t in my house
at all times" For sale by all druggists,
Il. Steinbacher g. Co., Wholesale agents.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
Quaint Hannibal Hnmlin.

To the day Of his death Hannibal
Hamlin was figure that men would
turn and look at second time on the
street. His tall form, which in old
age was but slightly bent, was always
clothed in the old fashioned black
swallowtail suit, and he always wore
a tall silk hat, generally a back num-
ber," tilted slightly back on his head.
For years he was famous as a man
who never wore an overcoat, and to
his death he never burdened himself
with that, to him, unnecessary gar
ment except on the most severely cold
days. For a half century he never
changed the style of his clothes. He
walked with swinging gait and had
SO many friends and acquaintances to
whom he had to bow that smile SEEM
ed to be ever on his face.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
A Terrible TaIker.

A we'll known Milwaukee lawyer
with a weakness for long stories was
q visitor at Madison ''once upon a
time," as the story books put 1t.
He saw upon the register of the Park
hotel the name of Colonel Gabriel
Bouck of Oshkosh and decided that he
was in duty bound to call upon that
Nestor of the Wisconsin bar, especially
as they had both occupied the position
of grand master of the grand lodge of
Wisconsin Masons.
He called on Mr.. Bouck in his room
in the hotel and found the Oshkoshian
In his shirt sleeves, yawning. He be-
gan on Masonry. First he gave his
views of the brotherhood, from the
building Of Solomon's temple without
sound of tool or iron" down to date,
and then he started in on the chapter.
Finally, startled by an extra yawn, he
broke off his story with:
"Well, Gabe, as I have been appoint
ed trustee for the Asylum For the Deaf
and Dumb think / had better so to
bed. / have to take an early train for
Janesville."
"For lands sake! Is it possible that
you are going to learn to talk with
your hands too?" came the blunt reply
from the old lawyer.-Milwaukee Senti-
mel.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
Nenr the Popping Point.

"Mary," said her father, "you have
been keeping company with that
Mitchell fellow for more than year
now. This courtship must come to a
termination"
"Oh, father, how can you talk so?
He is, oh, so sweet and nicer
"Ahp And the fond father arched
his eyebrows. "Sweet and nice, eb
Has he proposed|
"Well. father. not exactly" And the
girl hung her head and fingered the
drapery of her dress. "He hasn't ex-
actly proposed; but, then. last evening
when we were out walking we passed
by nice little house. and he said,
That's the kind Of cottage Pm going to
live in some day. and said, Yes and
then he glanced at me and squeezed
my hand. Then, just as we got by, l
glanced back at the cottage, and-and
squeezed his handp
"Oh, ah, seep' said her father.
"Well, we'll try him another week or
wo."-London Answers.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08

and then came the inspiring message
from mountain to mountain: "Hold
the fort. I am coming-W. T. Sher-
man."
Cheer after cheer went up, and,
though hopelessly reduced In numbers.
they did hold the fort for hours until
the advance guard of Sherman's army
came to their relief. Six years later
p. p. Bliss, the evangelist, heard the
story in all its vivid detail from a SOL
dier friend and then wrote the words
and music of his famous hymn.-Pres-
byterian.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
THE STANDING.
TODAY'S GAMES.
New York at Cincinnati.
Boston at Pittsburg.
Brooklyn at st. Louis.
Philadelphia at Chicago.

IL Watts had not blown up in the
stretch, IL Washer had been overcome
with the heat or been attending al
Sunday school convention in some dis
tant fields, II Carter had not swatted
that two bagger that brought in the
winning run In the sixth, if,-Oh! well
lots of things might have happened.
But what really did happen was that
the Kirkwoods put 1t all over the South
Ends, Saturday by score of o to
in u game that fairly sizzled from
start to finish.
A perfect day brought out II banner
crowd and they surely got what they
PAID for as it was n ball game all the
time. The South Ends were full of
confidence and their Supporters offered
odds that they would make It two and
one. For four innings they made
good and 1t looked like IN easy victory.
Then something was doing in the Kirk
wood ranks. Treat, who started the
game In the box was being hit rather
freely and the men behind him played
a trife loosely and the South Ends
were three largo runs to the good.
Mainly through the Klrkwoods three
errors, however, which Jll came In the
third. At this stage Washer took his
place Ia the box and Treat went to
short. A man IN the stand who had
SIS bet on the South Ends said after
the game that he felt lump as big as
a goose egg in hh throat when he saw
Buck walk In the pitchers box.
TO on outsider II looked as though
lut NuOlt Doulh Emu lcuh cAptIltuCeu
the same sort of feeling AS they were
very easy outs after that. Twelve
men went to bat in the first four Inn.
ings and nothing that looked like base
hit was made of Washer until the
Ixnth, when Wiese got single. That
was the extent Of the trouble and was
as near home as they could get. Mean,
while the Kirkwoods had started in to
cut down their opponents lead They
were so successful that at the end OF
the 6fth 1t was three and three ant
the crowd was making the grandstauC
perfect bedlam. Howland, redeeme,
himself for his bad muff In the third
by cracking out single In the sixth
stole second, Cross sacrificed him (,
third and on Washers fine single tn
score was tied. The Kirkwoods vast
ed no time but went right after an
other run and got 1t In the sixth. Mi
| Ter reached first when Matthew
dropped his easy fly. He stole an,
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
Hold the Fort.

In October, 1864, Allatoona pass, a
deflle in the mountains Of Georgia, was
guarded by General Corse, with 1900
men. 1t was strong, strategic point,
and, moreover. 100000 rations were
stored there. Freslch, the southern
general. with 5000 men, attacked the
garrison and drove the defenders into
small fort on the crest Of the hill.
The battle was fierce. The northern
soldiers fell In such numbers that fur
ther lighting seemed folly.
But one of Corse's officers caught
sight of white signal flag iuttering
In the breeze on the top of the Kene-
saw mountain, across the valley, 10
miles away. The signal was answered,
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08
Both Trained.

Little Edith had been very Ill, but
was convalescent. Waking up sudden
ly and finding strange lady at her
bedside, she asked, "Are you the doc
tori"
"No, dear" replied the lady; 'I'm
your trained nurse"
"Oh," exclaimed Edith, pointing to a
cage hanging near the window, "train-
ed nurse, let me introduce you to my
trained canaryH
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-07-08

II warn you," he said threateningly,
"to keep away from Miss Billion. I've
been making love to her myself"
Have you, really" replied his rival.
swell, she'll be glad to have the mat
ter cleared up"
Cleared up! What do you meanT
"Why, she said she thought that's
what you'd been trying to do, but she
wasn't sure."-Chlcago Post.