Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1901-11-18
WOMAN EXPLAINED.
BY a Man Who Has Had Fifty-Five
Wives.

Wives.
Who shall be considered qualified to
speak with wisdom on the subject OF
women if it is not he who has had
fifty-fve wives.
Obendaga is Senegalese chief
whose spouses have numbered pre-
cisely two-score and fifteen. Oben-
daga has studied all of them. He be
lieves that he knows something OF
womankind. What he knows has crys-
tallized into maxims of great pIIu and
piquancy. Here are some of them:
F'Wives are like weeds sometimes /;
unless you choke them they choke
you; unless you cut them off they
poison you.
when a woman smiles and keeps
her teeth shut, marry her for colula
who can bite when she laughs.
when a woman weeps pat her once;
if she still weeps beat her twice.
eff you do not like a woman's ear
cut it off; she will hear no less and
may look more beautiful
'Despise not all women built like
cocoanut, trees; in every forest there
must be some cocuanut trees.
"a yellow woman is like muddy
water, fit only for cooking.
"Why kiss? 1t is like patting sugar
tree.
when you want woman, take her
xyn,. won cannot hQT
feel her loss.
''Be condescending always to a wife !;
they like it. Cocoanuts grow simply
to fall and lie around the foot of the
tree. A man with many wives is a
cocoanut tree with much fallen fruit.
GA woman fights with glances; a
man with spears. Some glances are
sharper than some spears.
eff there is trouble in your huts,
shift the women; women must live to-
gether a week before they fight.
Some wives nurse grievances like
children and love them full as we'll
see that such wives have family Of
grievances.
when married her and loved me when
/ told her to die.
zone wife is as if the clock always
marked high moon; there are other
hours on the clock.
Zone wife is like one meal every
day, and that one meal always boyada,
the same food; the stomach will not
stand it.
Some women must be won in the
sun, others in the shade. Judge them
by their eyes and not by their skin, as
some burn quicker in the shade than
others in the sun.
SLAP some, pinch others; never pat
them unless to save a word.
Talk little to women; listen much.
They talk for many and listen for few.
Better to have a woman fear you
than to think she can wave doga to a
lover behind your back. A woman adj
mires a lion that will eat her more
than a monkey that will chatter for
her peanuts.
"The wink is not known in Senegal;
we do not blink at the sun or at each
other. What we see we see. What is.
we see; what is not, other countries
can wink at.
Fifty-five wives are like a long jour
ney. When the traveller wearies he
can rest by the wayside in the moon
light.
''The less clothes a wife wears the
more she has to hide in her head if she
would keep it from you. Clothes are
foolish; tatooing is far more orna-
mental and does not chafe. Tailors are
like monkeys tails, good only for
hanging,
''What is art? I never saw it before
/ came here. In Senegal art as see it
in this country would be for monkey
to hang by it's tail in a cocoanut tree
ana make all tribes believe it was a
man in high suspense.
''Wives are useful, particularly if
you smoke. Let their teeth be good;
il means better snuff.
children? They are incidents.
Great men deal only with events.
Marry much. Do not take it seri-
ously. Often bad wives make good
widows 1t is hard to be the widower
of a good wife. No man ever was the
widower of a good widow.
'When the cooks spoil the broth in
our land we put them in the pot to
make more 1t solves the question of
food.
''Mapy women would rather be one
of fifty-fve wives than one of none. =
New York World.
A street car conductor at McKees-