West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-05-16
MRS. GALlUP'S
lAMENTS.
How a Looking Glass and a Black Cat
Brought Her Trouble.

henhouSe door was closed for the night.
He had performed these duties and was
on his way back to the kitchen door when
he heard Mrs. Gallup utter long drawn
shrek. He gave no start Of alarm; neither
did he increase his pace. As matter OF
Tact he stopped to roll a barrel farther
away from the path. When he reached
the doorstep. he put down the swiil pail in
Ills accustomed spot to a hairs breadth.
entered the kitchen to wash his hands and
hang up his hat and IL was several minutes
before he entered the sitting room Mrs.
Gallup was lying on the lounge. lie cid
not look directly at her. but he knew she
was there. He asked no questions. but he
was satisfied that she had one of her
spells on. lie sat down with a great
Jar. in his favorite chair, pulled of his
boots, with grunt for each boot. and. Sc
lecting book on Fowls and Their Care"
from the shelf began TO read. He had read
the book so times before. but had become
interested in the statement that speckIed
hens were more liable to the pip than white
or black ones when Mrs. Gallup recovered
conSciousness--that is, she opened her
eyes, uttered sigh and fetched groan
and sat up She fully expected MIR Gallup
would ask her what had happened or A,
least look In her direction, but just then
he was busy with the poultry books state.
ment that red rag tied TO the tail OF
wouid-bc setting hen will scare her out Of
the idea When long two minutes had
passed. Mrs. Gallup concluded that some
thing ought TO be said and she began;
Samuel, want to talk to you few
minits before perish. You know | hev
bin eSpectn' to be summoned any day for
the last ten years, or since that COW kicked
me over the heart. While you were out
feedin' the hog the summons came
caught sight OF the back OF my head in the
iookin' glass just as strange black cat
run across the kitchen floor. That was the
way Mary Ann Davis and Hammer Sly re.
ceived their summons. and there ain't no
doubt that I'll be in heaven before
sunrise"
Mr. Gallup scratched the back OF his
neck with one hand and held the book with
the other as he read that some geese had
been known to live to the age of IS years
but he had no remarks to offer.
II don't want to annoy you while you are
readin',' continued Mrs. Gallup as she un-
pinped the tidy from the head OF the
lounge to use as handkerchief but. as
never died before think you kin bear
with a little. The first thing TO be done
after expire. Samuel. is to hey me laid
ost. The nayburs will cheerfulIy do that.
want 10 be dressed In that gray dress
you bought me six years ago BE particu.
lar about that. because It's the only one I
ever had that fits me across the shoulders
! don't want to go TO heaven in dress all
hunchcd up. l want to hev my hands
folded and pink hollyhock in my fingers.
| shall try to expire with smile on my
face, so as to look my very best and if my
mouth is shet nobody will notice my old
teeth. Samuel, are you foIlerln' me 2
He wasn't lie was following the author
Of the poultry book where he stated that
ducks were strangely influenced by music
and had been known to go to sleep when a
fiddle was being played. Mrs. Gallup
toycd with her tears for an interval and
then said
That's all about me- samuel You
needn't git up no big funeral or go to any
big expense. The rest Is about YOU Even
IL you don't marry ag'in within foar weeks
you'll want soft soap fur the winter. The
soap grease is down cellar in key and
it's al good soap grease as anybody ever
had When you are bilin your soap. don I
furgit to lay sassafras stick across the
kittle. | think you'll hey to buy new
tablecloth some time before spring I've
made the last one do fur two years. but IT, S
beginnin' to go. It's got three holes right
in the middle. However. II you don't marry
you won't mind a holy tablecloth You
know about the wash biler. don't you ?"
Mr.. Gallup refused TO answer that qucs.
tion by even lifting his eyebrows. The
statement that a gander had been known
to commit suicide through disappointed
love interested him to the exclusion oi
all else
The blcr leaks In four different places
Samuel, and has fur two years. and In
afraid you'll hev to git IL mended. I'd he,
tried to hang on to IL fur another year II
hadn't bin goin to die. but now it's m,
duty TO tell you. And I'm afraid your
second wife will want you to glt her new
washboard. I've made ours do fur nine
| years. and Il only cost I3 cents at first. bu
| it's beginnin to crinkle. and nobody kin b,
blamed fur IL. Now. let's see Mrs. Tay
Tor owes me two cups Of brown sugar 4
she cries much at my funeral. you needu'
ask her fur them. but II she only sheds
tear or two she must pay EN- back. Thci
Mrs. Jackson has a aauron Of mine with
.l / Ir.tar 10 l.. &
or two that she'd bring IL back but sh'
hasn't done 10. II amt good fur anythinl
as fstiron, but you want u to crack but
ternuts with. Samuel. do you rcmembe
when the preacher ate supper az Ior
White's2 twas two years ago this fsll
think. and just about the time fell int,
the cistern
Mr Gallup did not open his mouth ID
reply He had reached chapter in thO
book wherein It stated that rooster
crowed in the carly morning not to wei
come daylight but 10 scare polecats away
aud be was obvious Of an else
well what I was goin to say" con
tinucd Mrs Gallup as she wiped her eyes
was that believed she boroucred a nut
meg Of me on that occasion to make
custard and has never paid 10 back. 70 sh.
lends YOU any chairs for the funeral an,
seems 70 feel real bad that I'm gone. SO.
necdn't mention about the nutmeg. bot
she don't YOU might jog her about &c.
owe Sarah Ann Johnson a pinch of bakin
soda and owe Melissa Farewell SOM
+ ginger and J want you to pay it as soon a
I'm buried You'll ind maywced smart
weed catnip and spcarmint hanging up ID
/ the garrett and 90 the old pantry is th
4 sticking sslvc and the mution taller In cas-
4 you git a sore heel That's an. samuel
I'm icavin everything so youu hev n
trouble and now and then. even when yo
are pIayin checkers with your sccon,