The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-10-11

"Well, Tommy, has your mother told
you Of my good fortune?" mo. She
only said she was going to marry your
Punch.
II saw a girl with four sets of teeth
in her head yesterday" "Nov' Eyes.
She wore side combs. Philadelphia
Bulletin.
whats your dogs manner" "ip."
''Short for Tippecanoe? "Oh, no! I
just call him Tip because he's a point
er."-Philadelphia Press.
"Poor Matte, her marriage was dis
appointment" ''Was @it?" "Oh, yes:
she didn't get half the nice presents she
counted on.""-Boston Traveller.
The Don-And what part did you
take in this disgraceful proceeding Of
holding Mr.. Waters under the pump2
Undergrad (modestly) -Hisleft leg, sir.
-Mt-Bits.
He-One cannot always tell whether
girl means what she says. She-And
one cannot always tell whether man
cares whether she means what she
SoyS'-I uCh.
Deadly Duel: did you hear of that
duel between those two medical stu
dents?" mo. Pistols or swords?'
Neither; they prescribed for each 9TH
er.''-Tit-Bits. r.. e.:
Dumleigh-1t was an awful trial for
me to make that speech tonight. Mild
may-Don't mention it, old boy; just
think what the rest Of us suffered!-
Boston Transcript.
Johnny, how many different kinds
Of force ARE .there?' Johnny-Three
kinds. Teacher-Name them. Johnny
Bodily force, mental force, and the po-:
lice force.-Tit-Bits.
billie got all the Greek and Latin
prizes at college," Ibid he? What's
be doing now?'' 'The only job he could
get was as assistant to the coroner
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kept Awake, Anyhow: Heidi you
enjoy the concert, dear? She-Very
much. l sat next to Mrs. Gadabout,;
whom 1 hadn't seen for years. We had
a nice long chat.-Tit-Bits.
II should think the Sphinx girls would
feel their disgrace. Their father has
been proved a common thief" "Noth-
ing of the sort. Why, he appropriated
nearly a quarter Of millionv'-
delphia Bulletin.
Silas-How did Ezry Marks come tew
lose his farm? Jason-He thought his
neighbours fence wuz encroachin' on his
land, an the very fust darn lawyer he
spoke tew about it thought so, too
Boston Traveller.
II suppose" said the wire to the cleo
trio button, that you felt highly hon.
ored by the attention tho President
paid your Eyes," replied the button,
II was much touched by it."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Newbride- much are your
spring chickens? Poulterer-Dollar
pair, ma'am. Mrs. Newbride-Well-
er-1've got to be very economical, so
just give me the very smallest pair you
have.-Philadelphia Press.
Breaker.-That young man you intro
duced me to must be millionaire the
way he spends money. Surfton-Not
at all; but you see he has to get rid OF
his years salary at So a week in five
days vacation.-Ohio State Journal.
Harold, what are you and Reginald
uuarreling aboutw called the fond
papa. "Why, Reginald swallowed the
pennies out of his bank" answered
Harold, "and now he says he has more
cents than I have."-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
| A Natural Cure: "What is the rem
edy for poverty?' demanded the lectur-
er, in thunder tones. He paused for
reply, and during the pause a man in
the rear of the hall called out: "You
might try the gold cure."-Detroit Free
Press.
ut strikes me-" she remarked, 'that
those new neighbors of ours are very
much given to borrowing trouble"
'Well," answered her husband, II don't
see why not. They seem to have been
borrowing everything else."-Washing-
ton Star.
Realism: Church-How did you like
that war-drama at the theater the 9th
er night? Gotham-1t seemed like the
real thing, There was boy eating
peanuts in the gallery, and the shells
were dropping all about me.-Yonkers
Statesman.
| Premiums: Mrs. Nebb-Do you take
the Sunday Blatherskite? You know
picture goes with every copy? Mrs.
Reed-No, we prefer the Sunday Cas-
bag; it comes in four volumes and has
a bottle of family linfment with it every
week-Ohio State Journal.
lone of our troubles at the club" said
Cholly, "has been to make the waitahs
distinguishable fwum the membahs at
our evening receptions. But we've
solved 1t at lawst." "Ahy' remarked
Kostick; "by getting intelligent looking
waitahs ?'-Philadelphia Record.
His Workmanship: 'Did-did you
ever shoot MANI" questioned the ten
derfoot, timidly, Of Pepperhole Pete.
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