The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1901-12-27
SARCASM IN SIGNS.
VERTlSEMENTS THAT AT TIMES
BECOME A MOCKERY.

sEfosfAecn worse Days hnd Irritating
nounccmcnts when They Were
sIard Up and Out OF Employmcnt.
Eg.saThe advance agent met the leading
EssssIhn of another show the other night.
sad, as they had not seen each other in
5yScn years, there was n warlnncss
ss out their greeting that was refresh-
sDear old Tom!' said the leading
ss3sBn. Il was thinking Of you not five
zzsA)nutes ago. Sit down, you dear old
E5ow! ] passed bakery not five min
Hes ago, and l thought Of you. Why,
Are's Willis! I was just saying to
BIN that l never see Il bakers that I
Ess9|Si5I5n't think of him. Tom and I were
spa aor once! Mighty poor too. l re-
ESiaembcr that we had been turned out
EEm different homes Oil the same cold
nght and met each other for the first
fiblc by chance. We shared the COM
Ats of n butchers wagon that night
BS4qd went upon rumnlaging cXpcdi-
E$Nl5pn tlh: next day. We halted in front
h&DF German bakery, half starved ana
listed with life generally. There
tsnge sign in the window which
NhHere Is No Cake Like Ours We
VA* penny between us, but Tom
g1eu%ln ana asked for sample Of
Sess The Dutchman didn't ap-
4t3~the humor Of the request, SO
AailsA'I You may keep your cake,
say, give me a chunk Of
Vai,s9Niek, or I'll cut out your giz-
sfHpever forget that cake sign
sfpok us hours to get away
1n4iaGlice who were attracted to
Iaee94tnSily the bakers cries for help"
TfsiaMhSSthasNs lMathSS was not my only expert
NORTHUMBERLAND peculiar sign," remarked
NsTAnce agent after n hearty laugh.
NsaarNbeforc went OH the road
NlesfdtEsfsSimc l was In us hard luck
AEsfitan was. l had pnwncd cv-
1psslght and was almost starry
V4A 10und an umbrella In the hall
tcwn town building and the
Vaprf0id me 70 keep it. 1t was n
&QodNrain shield. and I immcdi-
lSN TTIEd 1t to mine uncle. 1 didn't
q sRls Rls$particular relative, although
the acquaintance Of hun
Ss3sa0ksilis people His place was on
sAA.I!SStSsk8YllHe, ana he gave me rs cents
lic1l gladly accepted. AS he
aSes ltM tyln8out the ticket he said:
ssyoMIwant to save 1t from the
&aeSSs sss.ss 4 answered.
" 13;slk tsWll cost you IL cents Per
llS'ls QM would like to have 1t insured?
s ways advisable, but 1t will cost
~a3lSl cents more replied my friend.
Allgright,' said. Take good care
lld1}could have eaten it for all
.$X, Tori never intended to redeem
was about to leave the place when
big sign on the far wall It
8 extra charge for putting watch
N jcwelry In the safe in the office
catches and jewelry! It brought
Ss tears to my eyes, and rs crnwlcd
my 10 cent bed that night l
}isMght Of diamond necklaces, pearls
Ipbies Of priceless value and-cake.
III ss93 S938the curse OF some signs! How they
the poor"
we're oil silent moment but |
enc addressed MS Willis was the
resume conYersat ton, and he |
my friend Big John smith. |
Sintroduce him. Since you chaps |
satking Of signs and hard luck, let |
y l!y you of the time that had to
ss3eaYe my trunk ut the old Stevens |
us.ssause, Oh lower Broadway, and light |
tire shades Of midnight to get |
rom hotel bill that couldn't |
Everything had in the world |
,{5 - ed up In that trunk, and rs I |
remove anything without ex-
|s2 <S3 spicion thought it best to |
OF Jail by leaving everything |
ss$s SSz5 pc. l must have walked the |
least week famished and |
One afternoon l was pass
3s$a up town street, hoping to
happened to look up and
{S & as big rs MY hopes were
= IS sign read: .... =.
y re Not Daylight Robbers.
3}2 Trunksl From the Battery
farlem Bridge to Your Room
Cents.'
that sign was not the irony Of
I'm my case, do not know what
all It,"
Oh, that's small affair alongside
~ my experience" said Smith. at Is
only few years ago too. l had been
q unemployed fol. several months, and as
FL had six little shavers to take cnre Of
I'll not have much trouble spending the
le money had saved. I didn't seem
|i have q friend in the wide world to
Htn to, and spent my last copper for
Ss$ paper to examine the employment col
Inmn. 1t was about Christmas time,
ana dreaded going back home to faco
the scolding landlord. I recall that
stopped In front Of the. Harlem Office
of newspaper to see the holiday
crowd go by, md rs 1 did so I saw
sign that mn0p NV blond nm pold r. |
said: ,.a ,.r...'
There Is No Reason Why You
should Be Idle. Insert Want Ad.
-Four Cents Line
The pronoun was printed in i'm
mense letters, and had the greatest
trouble dissuadng myself that it was
not Intended for me, and me alone.
OF course it wasn't, but that sign burn