Arizona republican., 1901-09-01
LITTLE JAMES
(An Only Partially Successful Quest
 for Golf Club Property.)

Cap:in Hi Macdonald Come into Jus an sez. sez he, I'm a Full Bloan Golfer. I list cum in fun the Golf Club hous."
 Did you find the Bark at MT. Loos claimed had been Stole off'n tn Hous by ROothless Vandles an where's tn Bark an have you got tn Vandles in Jail yit?" asst Justus Bernit.
 You mus be loded with Buckshot," ." sez Captin Macdonabi; last nae wun inkwiry at Time an don't Scatter that a way. Wot do you want to kno frs? l didn't find no Bark Missin' 'cept wot the Sun had r, aled off It was layin' down on the Groun' where it fell. They was wun piece at was jist two Feat an three Inches long. l meshered it. They was anothern at was wun Feat an 'levn Inches. 'F they airt a Change in tn Wether before long tn Golf AssO- ciashun II be out some more Bark got some Mucilidge an Stuck them two Pieces back on an l gess they'll Stay all Rite now at the Rainy Slizen is over. That Ansers all yer Full Charge Of Inkwirys. They wasn't no Vandle but the Sun an l didn't have no Warnt fer him.
 That's tn fust time I was ever at the Club Hous. Seems to me it's q good deal Bigger'n theys any Use of an it ain't very well Rep. Tn Doors was all open an they wasn't any Clubs in Site. They wasn't a Braasy CT a Clique CT Nibbleick 'er Masher anywheres. l 'Xpect MT Loos II be aroun' some day Complainin at Some body stole 'em. r l was the Golf As- sOciashun an cudden't carry the Clubs back to town after tn Calm I'd get a Strong Box to lock 'em up in. That Hous is Liblc to be broke into Any time. They don't need that kind of Hous, anyway. It's big enuff fer all the Clubs an Golf Bawls in Ameriky.
 "I fdssened up tn Hous an went over tn Lynx careful. They was only wun Hole gone an kno where to Find it. They's a Mexican Twin Clost by 'at II Steal anything he kin git his Hans on. He lvss in little Dolby Hous ats got only wun Door an a Small winder. I'm sure he Tuck that Hole sos at he cud have more Ventilashun."
 Well, did you git yer Cos out O th' Golf Associashun?" asts Justus Burnt.
 Not yit," sez Captin Macdonald.
 Well, you're Wun Hell of a Officer" sez Justus Burnit. Here you been workin' aroun' Sherffs an Justuses of tn Piece ever sense you quit wearin' SWaddlin Cloes an now you're Past sixty. But it ain't your Fault. Gawl makes some men Wise ard othern Foolish an they can't never Git over 1t, but l want my Haf O them Cos This Court ain't no Caddie fer tn Fenix Gon Associashun. to go Chasin' aroun over their Lynx fer 'em"
 Captin Macdonald got up Indignant like an sez, sez he: 70. Keep yer Golf shirt on; this ain't no Eppidermus ohn you. l didn't have no Warnt fun your Court. F I'd a got tn Cos they'd a all Con down into yer Uncle His ErGenes."
 "l kno," sez Justus Burnt. you didn't have no Reg'lar Warnt bllt give you Verble Minority to go an Hunt fer tn los Bark, but I'll see it don't Happen Agin. You're Too Easy. r some Teller at his Dog lost his Voice d cum aroun' an tell you you'd Hike out an hunt fer his Bark fer No,hin When this Hot Wether is over 'xpect good many Dogs in Fenix I'll loose their Pants an you'll be sucker enun to go an Hunt fer 'em"
 LITTLE JAMES.