The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-09-27
y Humorous Items. -

An Ohio man who has been lying in a
trance for five months has begun to show
signs of life. He probably dreamed there
was vacant Office notwithstanding
Journal.
Nobody understands me!' cried tine
poet, despairingly. Il shall starve!'
For it was against the law to beg, and
he was too proud to conduct series Of
authors readings.-Life.
"You seem to be much interested in me,
my little girl. What is it?''
smooth and clear. Papa says you have
travelled all over the country on it,
Boston Transcript.
Twenty-Five loads of mules have been
gathered up in the Sacramento valley and
shipped East. To think Of such guam
tity Of pure cussedness going out of the
state all at one time is distinctly graft
fying.-San Francisco Bulletin.
''She is pretty said the young wm-
an, "but she is so obviously made up
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne, II can't
Europe without having duty collected on
her as a work of art. "-Exchange.
Not Unusual" 4, problem novel!
There are several, but the one that
arrests the attention of the thoughtful
reader is, How in the world did the
author ever manage to get publisher? "
Life.
Docto-"I see what the matter is. It's
dyspepsia. All you have to do is to
laugh heartily before and after each
neal"
Mrs. Impossible. I get them
myself. and wash the dishes" Philadel-
phia Telegraph.
A kingly trade: "Nowadays all mon
archs learn a trade,' remarked Mr.. OAR
ley. What is the king of England S
trade?'' Mrs. barley asked. Judging
from the large number of orders he has
tor -Detroit Free Press.
Disadvantages.-"Do YOU love the
great, beautiful ocean," said the senti-
sentimental man. But i'd like it bet
ter if it were not so full of watermelon
rinds, lemon peels, lunch boxes and
things. '-Washington Star.
New doctrines in bacteriology seem to
be sapping the simple faith which has
hitherto been the characteristic of our
Sunday schools. A youngster stoutly re-
fused to believe that Gehazi became a
leper on account Of his sins. "No," said
he. there was germs in the clothes."-
London Daily News.
Little drops Of water,
Little specks Of dew,
Make the big potatoes,
And the small ones, too.
And the grocer sells EN-
At so much per slice,
For to buy a whole one
No one has the price
st. Louis Post Dispatch.
"a great author" remarked the hopeful
Briton, has said that he is the victor
who really believes himself to be the
There's fallacy in the statement
somewhere replied gloomy, morbid
Briton. ''1f that were true the Beers
would have been annihilated nearly two
years ago."-Judge.
The Buffalo Courier is authority for
the story that q man of Pana, ILL.,, who
rejoices in the name of Cam, is reported
to have christened his newly arrived
daughter Pana Mary. She was named
Mary after her mother and Pana after
the town where she first saw the light Of
day. In christening her, it is said. her
parents had no thought of the Buffalo ex-
position.
You are quite sure, Uncle Bushrod,' -
she queried. that Judy has no idea there
are only books in those two boxes YOU
took this morning over to the courthouse
in the cart?'
Miss May answered the old chap
with dignity, II done had three wives,
an Judy's de las, 1 reckon An jes
tell you dis honey, dom trus' no col
Ored 'OOmln'S tOngnQ' Nov T,inninc off