The Red Cloud chief., 1901-02-01
Cured the Grip.

yon have. It's pleasant and makes a
fellow feel like going of and dying.
II you haven't, after atwo weeks siege
| feel perfectly competent to give all
the symptoms, feelings and treatments
necessary to a grip patient. The symp'
toms are a hollow cough, headache,
an all gone feeling, a disp osition to not
care a..darn for anything and an incl.
nation to growl at everybody and kick
at everything, you want to be let
strictly alone and are perfectly willing
to let everyone else tend to their own
business, in the morning when you
get up you feel bad and in the evening
you feel like the very deuce, you have
chills and fever, your spirits are de-
pressed, you have an Internal desire to
do something mean and the meuner or
more ornry you can be the better you
are pleased. You have ~backache, head
ache, ear ache, nose ache, tooth ache,
sore throat, sore lungs, sore bowels,
liver and kidneys and from there on
down everything is sore and aches.
These are a few Of the symptoms and
feelings Of a two weeks siege Of grip.
A few Of the remedies to be enjoyed in
the same space OF time, II you take all
the advice given you are as follows:
Take quinine and whiskey. II the
remedy is too strong dilute it with
more whiskey.
Take twelve one grain asafetida pills
for breakfast, eight for dinner and ten
for supper. Sleep soundly and take
plenty of exercise when You wake up.
Take hot air baths and keep warm
for several hours afterwards.
Take five gallons Of whiskey. Avoid
quinine in all forms as it has a bitter
taste.
Take a plunge bath every morning in
ice water Immediately after getting out
of bed.
Drink hot water, as near the boiling
point as possible, and avoid all kinds
of food and stimulants.
Take treatment from a magnetic
healer. Absent treatment is the best IL
the healer is a man.
Soak your feet in hot water and
drink hot lemonade until you start to
sweat, then crawl in q bed full OF hot
bricks or hot water bottles.
Avoid reading patent medicine ad.
vertisements.
Take whiskey and rock candy. Eat
the rock candy then drink the whiskey.
Also forty.seven kinds Of patent med
icine, twenty-five kinds Of pill, thirty
four kinds Of powders, and a dozen
kinds Of capsules.
These are q few OF the remedies the
sympathizing friends and neighbors
advocated a. sure cures. There were
others but owing to my sympathetic
deposition I will keep them secret.
After . two weeks siege I took an
inventory OF the "ranch" which re.
sembled an spothecary shop on q small
scale. The inventory showed up nu.
nerous halt empty patent medicine
bottles, powders, pills and capsules
innumerable, and two jugs, (empty Of
course.) came to the conclusion
at once that ! had not been taking
the stuff according to directions as each
was labeled for dose every hour until
relieved, with the exception of the jugs
and the contents of these were TO be
taken spasmodically and had therefore
been consumed. l then Strengthened
the stuff all out and concluded to &c
according to directions. 1t was rather
hard work for a sick mar to get II dose
Of each kind down him the first hour,
but it was finally accomplished with
five minutes to rest in before commenc
ing on the second round. At this poinI
a lucky thought flashed through the
patients tortured brain. Why not mi,
the whole darned kerboodle, medicine
powders, pills and capsules. in n o,
the jugs, stir 1t up, and drink n teacuE
full every hour? Twas done and aftel
three more doses all pain and ache wal
over and the patient was lying very
quietly in his bed. A doctor was sen
for and pronounced the grip gone an,
life nearly so. When asked what | ha,
taken | merely pointed to the jug, III
sliced it, ierked out the cork, took
smell and then went out doc J.
guess the heat of the room made hin
sick. When he returned he gave m
II few doses of something and said i
1t didn't help nothing would. In tn
course of Il few weeks | expect to b
as sound and well AS ever. Hopin.
TINS will benefit some poor grip suffer
er | remain,
Yours for suffering humanity,