davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

as to be primed for Tall Conversation
They decided to choke off on Slang, as it
was known that all along the Atlantic
Seaboard, where the short sound of A
prevails and the Long Word is a House
holo Pet, any one who spiced his Con-
yersation with Words not yet approved
oy the Dictionary got the Look of Pain
or the Refrigerated Stare. A few who
were especially Wise to the Boston Game
started to working themselves out at
dropping the Rs, but they interfered and
threw themselves. 1t requires more than
a Weeks Time to get a new Language
down Pat.
When Adelbert arrived, his Cousin had
Flowers in his Room Within Twenty
Minutes after the Train whistled, every
cody in Town knew how many Pieces oil
Luggage he brought and what kind of a
Suit he had on. He was given a ride in
he Town Hack? All the Girls put away
their Gum and ordered new White Gloves,
for next day the Cream of Local Society
was to Rally at a Lawn Party in Honor
OF Adelbert. the Toniest of his Sex.
In going over the Invitation List there
had been some Discussion as to whether
or not they ought to include Noisy Nettle.
She was a willowy Man-Catcher, who took
a great Photograph. but that seemed to
let her out. She had no Dignity or Re-
pose, and the way she threw herself at
Men and dragged them away from the
more sedate Sisters had given her a Bad
Name. All the others in Town wondered
what the Men saw in her.
1t was argued that if Nettie was per-
mitted to break in at the Lawn Party, she
might be silly enough to get Fresh with
the Distinguished Visitor and shoot a lot
of Trivialities at him and give him a
False Impression of their Social Life. She
could win out the low-grade Article by
sitting close and chirping 10 him and Civ
ing him that Old One about his Hair
matching his Eyes, but if she ever tried
that on a Bachelor of Arts whose
Thoughts were keyed up to the Higher
Life, it might queer the whole Pro
gin to Pack Up.
However, in a Town of thai size it is
impossible to Discriminate. Alderbert's
Cousin was under Obligations to Nettie.
and SO Nett.e received her Card, but it
was agreed that the Girls who knew how
to Behave should form q Gordon around
the Honored Guest and prevent the feath-
er-headed Flirt from getting hold of him
and spelling things.
The Lawn Party brought out all the
best Bibs and fuckers. Every Girl was
dressed within an inch of her Life and
came through the Front Gate, taking
Short Steps. In a little while they were
telling him how they dotted on James Rus
sell Lowell and could sit up all night to
read 'Thanatopsis.' They had selected a
very fancy line OF Hot Weather Topics.
Seven or eight of them had their Camp
Stools planted between Adelbert and Net
tie, so as to protect him from her bold
Vaccinations. Adelbert was having Lit
srary Chat passed to him in hunks when
e happened to, look across at Nettie.
they had Met n hat was all. but she
gave him the Wink, which meant: 81 am
on. You are up against"
Aha thought Adeibert. Something
doing 1t last. LINUS look into this
Presently the Csmpany smoysd svsr ~
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
MR.. DOOLEY ON
MR.. CARNEGIE'S GIFT.
By F. p.

copyrighted 1901 by Robert Howard Rus
Tin millyon dollars to make tn
Scotch a larned people, said Mr.. Doc
ley.
Who done that?" asked Mr.. Hen
messy.
Andrew Carnaygie,'' says Mr.. Doc
ley. He reaches down into his pocket
Wnere he keeps tn change an pulls up
tin mlllyon bawbies an, says he: BOYS.
take ye'er fill iv larnin' an charge it to
me- he says. 'Divvle hang tn ex-
pinse,' he says. 'Th' more tn merryer.
ne says. "A short life an a happy wan
ne says. Larn anything we like he
says. Name yeer preference he says.
an put it all down to me- he says.
That's tn way we do it, Andrew
an me. Whin other men are chasin'
a bit iv loose money to tn corner iv a
little leather purse to make good on a
chair or a foldn' bed iv classical larn-
in, we ordher tn whole furniture
sthore an have tn bill sine up to tn
house. Idjacation in Scotland has been
on tn retail. TIL Scotch have been 60
in in with a bag of oatmeal a n ex-.
changin' it FIR enough larnin to last
over tn night. It's been hand to
mouth with thin FIR years. Andrew
an me propose FIR to buy idjacation FIR
thin in tn bulk. Professor, wrap up
tin millyon dollars worth iv thought an
sind it to tn Scotch"
"Hinnissy, | don't know what's goin'
to happen whin us Americans millyon-
aires begins to unbelt. 1t used to be
that we niver knew win we had
enough. No matter how much / made
I was hanted be tn fear that I'd wake
up in tn mornin' an find it all gone
an me with a pair iv overalls on run
min up a laddner with a box iv mortar
on me neck. Win We run in az paid
me tn three millyon dollars We owed. |
was afraid to put it in a dhrawer f'r
fear We might come back afther l was
gone an ! didn't want to, carry it in
me pocket FIR fear I'd lose it an if |
stuck it in a bank an see tn president
ridin' in a cab, a chill run up me back
an l dhreamed that night iv myself
with a dinner pail uhdher me arm pix
in off to tn rollin' mills just befure tn
sun come up. But We get used to
money just as We get used to poverty,
Hinnissy. though niver as much used
to it. firm tn lack iv companions, an
there come a time whin | didn't know
what to do with il. | cudden't give it
back to tn men | got it firm. They
wuddn't take it. Nanny iv thin ARE
dead. Besides ; It's habit iv spendin'
it. 1 can't buy things with it FIR there's
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
A NATIONAL FLOWER.

s Under the warming influences of sum-
mer the national flower controversy
blossoms forth once nor This dis
cussion has been going on for many
years now and it is high time a deci-
sion was reached. 1t is proper, too,
that the United States should have a
distinctive floral emblem. France has
the feur-de-lis, Scotland the thistle,
ireland the shamrock, England the rose.
It is quite in order for the United States
to select a nationa! posey. For tAAs
honor three flowers have been most
prominently mentioned. the golden-rod,
the corn-hower and the columbine.
Wisconsin has officially nominated
the corn-fower. The taste of the
school children over the country, how
ever, seems to have been caught by the
brilliant g~olden-rod.
In Boston an organized movement
was begun in behalf of the gentle CO.
lumbine, and since then a National
Columbine Association" has been start
ed, with Professor f. l.. Sargent, botan-
DIST in the University of Wisconsin, as
president. Grouped around him are a
number of distinguished botanists who
have gone about their campaign in a
systematic manner with some hope or
success. The very fact that the presi-
dent of the organization pledged to the
columbine is a Wisconsin man shows
the temerity with which the vigorous
advocates invade the preserves of the
corn-fiower supporters.
Large numbers of the States have al
ready chosen their emblems. For in
stance, four States have adopted the
golden rod as the official flower. They
are Alabama, Missouri, Nebraska and
North Dakota. The school children of
Illinois ana Tennessee have voted in it's
favor, but the legislatures have not
acted upon the suggestion.
Kansas is known as the Sunlower
State. OF the other States the follow
ing have adopted the flowers named:
Arkansas, aster; Colorado, columbine;
California, poppy; Delaware, peach
blossom; Idaho, syringia; Iowa, wild
rose; Maine, pine cone; Michigan. apple
blossom; Oklahoma, mistletoe; Ver-
mont. red clover; Washington. rhodo-
dendron. Texas school children are in
favor of the blue bonnet and Mississippi
is popularity supposed to favor the mag
nolia.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

ward ~ croqust Grounds ma AdeIbert
managed 10 tear away q have = Word
with Nettie.
Gentle Stranger, let US shake this
Bunch and go ride in the SWING he said.
Sure Thing" replied Nettie. and as she
looked up at him she smiled family and
a I9ss more gave MIN the f'uffsEins Eye
Something tells me tina We are not
going to talk about looks said Adelbert.
Il did not come out West to find out
about the Standard Authors. 1 heard all
the News about them before 1 left Home.
! am out her to Cut Loose and nave a
Good time"
Come and Remp with me- said Nettie.
Il like your Style, but I'm a weeny bit
Afraid of you because you're such a Hand
some Wretch and I've heard about you
College Boys"
Saying which, she put her Chin on his
shoulder and Goo-Gooed him and he lost
the Power of Speech. Strange TO say, he
did not go in the House and begin to Pack
Up. Along about that time he was think
ing of having his Ticket extended.
When the Proper Girls saw that Nettie.
the Scandal Maker, had succeeded in
isolating the Main Attraction there was a
good deal of Whispering behind the Fans,
but Net and Del did not seem to mind,
because they were in the Swing having a
few Whispers of their own.
The Lawn Party was the heaviest June
Frost ever known in that part of the
State. He who had been bawled out for
two years as the most refined, cultivated
and scholarly Youth east and west Of the
Alleghenies turned out to be the same as
all the others. He passed up Miss Prim
and went straight for the sassy Good
LOCKER.
After that first day it was a Moral Ger
tainty that Nettie had him right. The
other Girls did not get so much as a look
IN on the Capital Prize. Every two hours
he put on a different Rig and went up to
Nettie's House to permit her to hold him
by the Arm and tell him how we'll his
Clothes became him. The other Girls
peered out from behind the Curtains and
spoke of him as a Softly and a Dude, and
they began to tell around that he didn't
have so much Property. and besides it was
Mortgaged up to the hiIt.
Adelbert's Cousin tried to pry him away
from Nettie by telling him that she was
superficial, but the Advice of a Relative
never carries any weight in the Case of a
genuine Love affair.
When Alderbert returned home he had
fourteen Panel Photographs of Noisy Net
tie, his Hearts Delight, and she was going
around Town with one Hand up in the
Air so that every one could see her Soil
taire.
MORAL: Never talk Shop to a Man
when he is on his Vacation.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
MIR. rowNE SEES THINGS.

The conflicting decisions of the Su-
preme Court in the insular cases, the
general purport of which is to deny the
supremacy of the Constitution over the
acts of Congress, affect different people
in different ways, though everyone is
more or less shocked at the denial of a
fundamental principle of American gov
eminent, which has been held sacred for
more than a hundred years. While it
unquestionably confers imperial powers
on the general government abroad it
mas remained for Mr.. Charles A. Towne
to discover that it means a monarchy
at home right away.
"The Supreme Court decision says
he, means that an attempt will be made
by the Republican party to elect Presi-
dent Mckinley for a third term. 1t
means an attempt at concrete imperial
ism within the next -four years"
Thus spoke the Populist ex-U. S. Sem
ator-by-appointment from Minnesota,
adding:
Republican politicians deceived the
people ans won TIE asst election upon the
plea of unsettled complications and this
chaotic decision of the Supreme Court
gives further ground for carrying on the
same argument.
"The efforts of the Republican party
have been 20 make the presidency a semi
monarchy. az I believe that this decision,
II it turns out favorably to the admins
tratson, VIII help them make 1t an abso-
lutte monarchy"
Mr.. Towne overlooks one important
factor in the case-tne American peo-
pie, who still hold the ballot.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
MODERN FABLES.
BY GEORGE ABE.
MODERN FABLE OF THE COJS.
IN FROM DOWN EAST WHO HAD
HIS PICK OF THE VII
LACE LILACS.


Copyrighted, 1901, by Robert Howard Rus
sell.
There was once a Woman with a May
flower Ancestry who had a wonderful
Cousin named Adelbert. This Woman used
to keep Adelbert's Photo propped UP on
the Baby Grand, and she touted him
strong to all the Girls. The Cousin never
had been out TO this Town, but his Paper
vas up and the Female Relative had done
a lot of Advance Work. She predicted
that when Adelbert came he would break
many a Heart. Privately, she did not be-
lieve there was a Girl in town good
enough to put the studs in Cousin bellies
Shirts, but she wanted him to come ont
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

and Roar that Cousin Adeiberu was .4u4ng
hither on the Limited. Then there was a
Hurrying to and fro. Pale Faces grew
paler yet and every Belle was trying to
select the Creation that would make a
T~en-Strike with brilliant Adelbert, late
from the Varsity.
In order to know why the Town should
be having this CONFUSION, one ought to
hear s%oEAethlng about the town.
1t was a White Settlement with a fair
sprinkling of Indians. The Principal Occu-
patton in those Parts was going down on
Railroad Street to see the Trains go
through. Any one who knew the Con-
ductor was looked up to. Most of the
Young Men Whereabouts travelled in their
Shirt Sleeves and wore blue Elastics
around their Arms and smoked Pest House
Cigarettes. They did the Haw-Haw
. Laugh and thought we'll Of their own Cute
Sayings. These Town Cut-Ups had only
one Accomplishment, and that was to
huddle up and do the Blend on one of
these Mushy Ballads. When they struck
a Barber Shop Minor they would Dwell
until the unhappy Listener felt his Toes
curling. Some of the Girls who were fair
ly up to Snuff often sighed that the Town
was bad off for Society, and that was no
Hungarian Joke. 1t is a matter of Rec
ord that the Girls in such a Sub-Center
of Civilization are about seven times as
Flip as what they have to choose from. If
they pair off with a lot of animated
Prunes, it is because they have to utilize
the Counterfeits or else Migrate.
Therefore it will be understood that the
coming of Adelbert, who was the kind
Mrs. Burton Harrison tells about, was an
Event of the First Magnitude. The Girls
began to brush up on their Reading 50
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

In view of the decision of the SUI
preme Court in the Porto Rican cases
somebody ought to start a movement
at once for the annexation of Canada.
1t is now, under the dictum of the
court, perfectly feasible to annex Cam
ada and still to collect duties on every
thing which the Canadians send across
the border. 1t will also be possible to
govern the Canadians without giving
them any representatives in our Con-
gress at Washington. The idea of
Canadian annexation should be much
more popular than it has been hereto
fore.-Hartford Times.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
A GOOD NIGHT SONG.

VI night time when it's dark outside,
Each little child must go 20 bed.
And. kneeling in the shaded light.
Low, lisping prayers are softly said.
Upon the snowy pillow then
The curly head is gently pressed.
And through the long. long hours OF night
The tired eyes are closed In rest.
Dear mother takes a good night kiss
And softly turns out all the light.
The house Is silent now and still;
It's wrapped in quiet for the niEht1
But One who slumbers not nor sleeps
Wfll kindly watch the whole nighe
through
And guard from danger and distress
The little chLld-and mother. too.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
THE LIGHT OF CONSCIENCE.

the Register.
Do the right and fear no thought
That another may express;
They you conscience have not taught
And you lives may never bless.
Do what conscience says Is right,
Then life's safest rule IL yours,
And you follow in the right
That orevermore endures.
Men win differ and may change,
And II man you seek TO please,
You may often hin IL strange
That II is no path OF ease.
For no matter wha you do.
Some Will think ii Is not right,
So to your own souls be true,
Then you'ii follow Gods own light.
MARTHA SHEPARD LIPPINCOTT.
Moorestown. New Jersey.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

Hovverds he had Ffopersy ii His own
Name. What caused most o. the Gossip
about him was the surprising Fact that he
not only commanded ! shamful Income.
but he was SO tarnation Bright.
How remarkable" commanded his Adj
mirers, that one with q superabundance
of Rocks and therefore no need of a
Working Intelligence should be just as
Brainy as many of these Skates who are
on Salary"
About the time hat Cherries were ripe.
the Word came up with many a Rumble
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

The fate of those six girls and a
young man, who laughing at repeated
warnings were swept to death over the
Schulylkill dam at Philadelphia, is a
warning not to get reckless with placid
looking water-not by a dam site.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

We have about fifty pairs of Morgan
& Wright tires. To move same we will
dispose of them at cost-s5O0 per pair.
Call early. as the supply is limited.
A. D. HOWE MACHINERY CO.
2157 Main street.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

The Lehigh Valley Railroad Company
has been condemned by a jury to pay
a oma SIC, 1000 for the loss of a cheek
bone. At this rate an entire skeleton
would amount to something handsome.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

Corporation Counsel Wageu, of New
York. ruled that a city employee Is en-
titled to full pay for the time during
which a physician certines that be was
" NO mater nov long. This = calcu-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

A New York m is accused of
embezzling SIS, 900 to keep eighteen
pet dogs in luxury. Here is a model of
true devotion for dog-worshipping fem
ininity.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

1t behooves Cuba to bear in mind that
of his own which he can't afford to
have jeopardized by possible Cuban
rashness. 1t is very little that Uncle
Sam asks. Any other uncle would take
1t without asking and a good deal
more.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
REGISTER AGENCIES.

WHERE THE REGISTER CAN BE
PURCHASED OUT OF TOWN.
CHARLESTON. w. va-Hotel Ruffner
News Stand.
WASHINGTON, D. C.-Queen News
Stand, National Hotel
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

The dawn of the millennium must sure
ly be visible. The Kaiser tells the
French that only sympathy and re-
spect are felt for them in Berlin. The
monkey and the parrot may yet lie
down in peace together.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

Yesterdays New York stock market
was a big thing for late Saturdays.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

The Register is glad to note that Col.
Romeo H. Freer is at his home in
Richie county, very much improved in
health.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

We have about fifty pairs OF Morgan
& Wright tires. To move same we will
dispose of them at ~cost-$5.00 per pair.
Call early, as the supply is limited.
A. ID. HOWE MACHINERY CO.
2157 Main street.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

There promises to be great doin's OF
the glorious Fourth, in this city.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
Y PRINCESS BORN.

bhtht VNtE nhn aCAs
Though the King is aid to Re
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS the Nurse Gets.
ROME June Queen Helena was
~accouehed of a daughter at . o'clock
this morning.
Both mother and infant are doing
well.
The Princess will be named Yolanda
Margharita.
Amidst congratulations, there Is con
siderable disappointment at the infants
sex. though the hing is understood to
have expressed contentment. Statutes
are being fred throughout Italy.
The Infants nurse, besides receiving
liberal pay and a pension, will get
$4,000 with the baby's first tooth. anoth-
er $4,000 when the child is able to speak
and a similar sum when the little prin-
cess walks unsupported.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

Since it will cost much to pay the
city debt in ten years, why string it
over thirty years and pay more to the
~bondholders?
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

stamps of the denomination OF two cents
and less accepted for amounts less than
one dollar.
Correspondence containing important
pews solicited from every part OF the sN;-
Bounding country.
Tributes OF Respect and Obituary 80
kceS, five centS per line.
Rejected communicate ms will not be re-
burned unless accompanied by sufficient
postage. !.
THE REGISTER, embracing its several
editions, is entceeH at tne Postoffice at
WheeliEG, w. Va. as senand-class matter.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

Glory and golf were badly mixed UP
on Memorial day.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02

The ladies of the City Hospital AS
ISOLATION have designated next Satur-
day as Tag Day, and everybody who
pretends to be anybody will wear the
immune badge which distinguishes the
liberal from the parsimonious. The
object is worthy, the plan is ingenious.
and results are certain to be satisfac-
tory.
Pittsburg isn't the only town with a
physician who knows how to charge.
DR.. Emma Warne, OF Chicago, filed a
claim for a $1,000 0 fee against the es-
tate Of a millionaire patient. Maybe
DR.. Emma threw in a few ciphers on'
account of her sex.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
POOR LITTLE q
n HIS "TUMMYn

Small boys, and many times large ones,
and occasionally girls, too, big and little,
sedfer terribly from convulsive pains o.
cramps IN the bowels and stomach
pain 50 violent that it doubles up" the
ones STACKED, and makes it impossible for
them to stand Up.
Some people calf II colo, but most honest.
pl~ain-spoken people call It 'belly-aehe" and very
properly, for the scat of the trouble Is IN the
bowels, and caused by the violent Efforts Of the
bowels to rid themselves of something which
doesn't belong there. The small boy Usually
gets It from ovr-eating or from eating forbidden
truit, and suffers mostly IN the scmmer time.
It's spring GOV. and I'm times of peace, prepare
tor war" Let the boys and girls and the big
folks, too. for that matter, clean out the clopeed
channels filled with winter bile and putrid undi-
gcstcd food, strengthen the 3O-feet Of bowel
canal. ivsn Tsp the liver, and Summer Belly
aches" will have nc terrors, because they won't
IS to Use CASCARETS, gentle, sweet, fragrant
q strengtheness. For fear that anybody IN the
a box OF CASCARETS N the house always, and
{ aAe
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
EDITORIAL NOTES.

China is now paying the fiddler-or
will shortly.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
Summer osmes in with damp feet.
AN ATTACK ON THE JACKPOT.

AN ATTACK ON THE JACKPOT.
An indianapolis federal jury has re-
turned a verdict holding that it is no
crime to open a Jackpot" with counter
felt money in a poker game. In COM
menting on the verdict the Judge said:
THE jury evidently thinks it is no
crime to pass counterfeit money in
breaking a jackpot. but from my know
ledge Of jackpots / should think it was
a crime
Still the Judge did not think it hard
enough to reverse the verdict and it
stands.
This is a sad blow to a great national
institution. Where are our rights and
liberties and whittier are we drifting if
the sacred Jackpot" may be opened
with spurious coin?
The Supreme Court has just dealt a
fatal swipe at the Constitution and now
a federal lays on the last straw
by denying the s%acredness of the Jack
pot" Are we no longer freemen?
The case must be appealed at once to
the high. court of Hoyle.