Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-10-12
SARCASTIC UNCLE SAM.
A Study Free Traders and the Ding
ley Act.

ley Act.
1 found Uncle Sam in a variety of
moods this week. He had been read
ing a lot of clippings from the Free
Trade papers.
Il don't know whether to laugh or
get mad" he said, as he rather angrily
threw the stuff one side. Il don't
suppose it DIES much harm, but / do
get provoked sometimes at the Free
Trade Trust and it's organs. 1 don't
like to believe these folks are dishon
est and malicious, and they can't be
ignorant. l wonder if they really
want to get me into trouble just as L
am enjoying the best and most pros
percus years of my existence. 1t does
seem as if there were always a few
folks who must eternally be stirring
up things. It's always been the way
from the Nullifiers to the Ants. No
one knows what the Almighty made
snakes and potato bugs and mos
quitoes for. l suppose it's so the mill
ennium wouldn't come too soon. Those
Free-TraGers really ought to have a
corner of the earth to themselves,
where they could be in hot water all
the time. They evidently have no
fear OF the hereafter; il would be so
in keeping with the temperature they
like here. 1 would like to spend a
few years in peace. There will be no
need of general tariff changes for
years. The Dingley law is working
like a book, and I don't want business
disturbed for ten years at least 1
rather guess it won't be, either, if
Bryan has his way. Why, he is the
best friend we got, when you think it
all over. If he only keeps the Free
Traders from coming into power he
ought to have a monument as high as
Washington's. That NAH is preserv-
ing the country, if you only look at it
that way.
You seem rather sarcastic, Uncle
Sam" l observed.
That fellow Bryan is a rank Free
Trader. He wanted the job of being
my manager. / don't blame him for
that It's worthy ambition for any
man. But Bryan didn't go about it
right He knew he couldn't be elected
on Free-Trade issue. SO he hoIlers for
Free Silver. That didn't work, and he
then hollers anti-imperialism, what
ever that is And that didn't work.
Now the Democrats have found out
their mistake and want to shelve him,
and he threatens to break up the
show. I'd make pretty emperor,
wouldn't II Gosh. imagine me walk
ing around with crown upon my
forehead No. I'll stick to the old
tile But these Free-Traders remem-
Der that the only issue they've won on
in forty years is the tariff, and they
think they can work the stuff over in
new form and dish it up But the peo-
pie got so nauseated with it the last
time they ate it that they don't want
to even taste it now. If the truth
were known, the cooks themselves
don't want to eat their own broth
don't blame 'em either. It's pretty
thin stuff for these times
What do you attribute as their mo-
tive or reason2" I asked
No motive. no reason; pure cussed-
ness It's been in the race since the
garden of Eden, and I guess we-n al
ways have the varmints with us
Some of EN- good men, too Fact is.
they're too good for this earth; can
almost see wings sprouting on some of
EN- and the old man walked away
with half concealed look OF con-
tempt on his usually good narured
face f. G.