Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1901-05-02

| ~ ~
| HE WAS PEART IN HIS FEELINS AND A
HARD HITTER
| he was mcaner'n skunks He'd bite
and kick at anybody who come within.
ten feet OF him, and if hitched him to
the cart he wouldn't pull a pound.
was keepin him around in the hopes to
trade him off when along comes a
stranger one day from ArSansaw. The
old woman was gone to a naybur's and
| was sittin on the doorstep when this
stranger halted and said:
"'Kin | everlastin'ly and cternally
| flattcr myself that | am addressin the
! celebrated and notorious Zeb White?'
THAT'S me- said |.
"'The critter who has killed 5000
| possums, 5000 woodchucks. 1920 coons
and so bars?
"'Them's about the figgers. stranger
! "'The man who crowded a circus ele-
| phanl into the ditch, flung a bull over
| the fence and licked three wildcats
| barehanded?
"That's mostly me-
1.-The man who has outrun, outjump-
ed, outwrassled and outfit every critter
in Tennessee who would tackle himY
"'Kinder that
"'Waal. now goes on the man as we
shakes hands, 'yo' seem TO be some
pumpkins. and | hope yo' are, fur I've
walked over from Arkansaw to gin yo'
a trial. I'm goin to do my best, Zeb
| White, to lick yo' outen yo'r butes.'
"'What furY said l.
"'Jest to take yo' down peg and let
yo' know that thar is two or three 9th
| er folks on airth Yes. I'm either gwine
to make yo' holler or else live ON roots
| all the rest Of my days
81 didn't want no quarrel with any
body" said Zeb, "but soon diskivered
that the critter from Arkansaw was
bound to hev fuss. He Dragged and
crowed and had so much to say that
had no other way but to tackle him.
We peeled off coats and jackets out
thar on that level spot, and l noticed
the old mule standin with his hind
| quarters out of that shed doah.
"T'll tell yo' what I'm gwine to do
said the stranger as we made ready.
| I'm gon to bite off yo'r right ear and
carry 1t back to Arkansaw with me as
sort of certificate. and hope yo'll
write the date on it with pen and ink
before | leave
| "Then he crowed and tapped his
arms and jumped up and knocked his
heels together. ! hadn't got skeart Of
him, however. reckoned it might be
| n tough fout, but | was bound to win
| It. What made 1t better fur me was
that me n the old woman had had
| jaw that day. and I was feelin onery
and mean and anxious to whop some
body WAL we finally got to work,
| and soon found that critter all l
| could manage. He was peart In his
| feeln's and n hard hitter, and as he
danced around he said:
| "'Yo' might as well begin to holler
! right now. Zeb White, fur I've got yo'
licked. | reckoned a heap of this talk
about yo' was all wind
"Jest about that time fetched him
swat that keeled him head over heels
and broke my thumb. He got up as
peart as yo' please, and, seeln my
| thumb was broke and my right hand
useless, he put on mo- steam. 1t did
seem to me that fur the fust time in
my life was gwine to be licked, and
had n feelin of goneness clear down to
| my butes. Broken bones don't count
In fout down in this kentry, yo' know.
The man who comes out on top gifts the
credit, and the other feller hasn't n
word to say. Yes, sab, jest dun reck-
on | was hevin n powerful clus shave
Df it when Providence interfered. |
was bein banged all around when |
happened to see my old mewl backin
| up on us from the shed. He'd heard
that row and wanted hand in. 10th
er feler's back was to'ard the mewl,
and / played to keep it thar. He never
had no warnin Of what was comm. The
| fust thing he knew the mewl backed
up to within kickin distance and then
let go both feet, and old Arkansaw
went rollin most down to that bresh
fence. His breath was gone when he
stopped, and 1 was also sittin on his
stomach. In three or four minits he
opened his eyes and looked around and
said:
care 1 back in Arkansaw ag'inT
"'Not skassly,' said l.
"'Was 1 hevin n fout with a critter
named Zeb WhiteT
ago was
"'And did | whop lin and make
him hollerY
"'Yo' didn't. Yo' kin look upon
yo'rself rs a licked man.
"'And l didn't git his right ear to
take back to Arkansaw with meY
"'Nary ear
"With that he began to cry, and let
him up. He went over and sot down
OH that stump and cried like a boy,
and after he had wept away his tears
he said to me:
"'Zeb. | acknowledges to bein Il
licked man, but I'd like the consola-
shun of KNOWN how twas done
"Tt war far fout
az reckon it was, but | was gittin
the best of 1t when yo' fastened n
couple of hoss-shoes to yo'r hands and
reached over my shoulders and hit me
in the back and sent me tumblin.
Was that what licked meY
"Reckon 1t was
"'And was it allowable under foutin
rulesY
"'Allus has bin
"'Then | hain't got nuthin mo- to
say said he. al cum, | saw, and l
got licked, and I'm goin back TO Ar
kansaw to tell 'em that yo' are the
rooster of the flock. Shake hands, Zeb
White, and bid me goodby.'