Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14
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Courtesy helps business Yes; and
good business make. II man feel heap
more polite, too
Yes, am a confirmed bachelor"
How many times have you been con-
tirmed!- Brooklyn Life
Can your Wife keep a secret?"
Yes; she has Il dozen or so of her
friends to help her."-l.ife.
Bill-When Il man is in debt think
he ought to try and get out of 1t. jill
Do you mean out of debt or out Of
town?--ionkers Statesman.
Nell-Rather conceited isn't he?
Belief should say. He said the best
was none too good for me, and then he
proposed.-P Philadelphia Record.
she says her face is her fortune"
said Maud. Yes said Mamie; "and
felt like telling her to cheer up pow.
erty is no disgrace. Washington Star.
Crawford How do you figure that
the exhibition in Buffalo is better than
the one they had in Paris? Crabshaw-
1t doesn't cost SO much to get there
Judge
"How do you like tho new professors
lectures:' They seem extraordinary.
lily dry, considering how many founts
of knowledge lie has."-Fliegende
Blaettcr.
II know | shall never love another
woman MS do YOU" Il should hope
not" We'll, you needn't get mad
about it. Ill bet could If wanted
to."-Life.
Charley-AIaud Toomer told nue. last
night that she loved me. Harry-You
are somewhat delayed. She told the
rest of us fellows that long ago.-Den-
yer News.
Daughter-Father, | fear | hurt the
Counts feelings. Father-In what way?
81 thoughtlessly told him didn't be-
lieve he owed as much as he said lie
did. Smart Set.
Bookkeepcr-This figure is so indIs-
tinct that l don't know whether to
make out this mans bill for So or 50.
The Boss-AIake it out for So, then
Somerville Journal.
He-We may have to wait some time
before we can get married, dear. She
Perhaps 1t is just as well. Papa says
he expects to do twice as much bust
ness next year as this.
Bifkins (who is giving party
What do you get an evening for wait
ing ut entertainments? Waiter-Five
shillings, sir; hut If there is to be sing
| ing, l must ask six, sir"-Tit-Bits.
Stranger-It seems rather strange
| that you should complain about your
| best friend because. he took your part.
Hamphat-Fm an actor, sir, and
wanted the part myself.-Philadelphi
Press.
l. Maud-When are they to be married?
Ethel-Never. Maud-Never? And
why so? Ethel-She will not marry
him until he has paid his debts, and he
cannot pay his debts until she marries
him.-Fun.
Brooklyn Workingman's wife lin
190D-What's happened, Danny? Her
Husband (desperately)-Well I've been
fred by ], p, Morgan, and there's no.
body else In the world to work fort
Brooklyn Citizen.
Mrs. Strongmind-Nhy don't you go
to work? Tramp-Please, mum, made
a solemn vow twenty years ago that
I'd never do another stroke of work till
women was paid tn same wages as
inen.--New York Weekly.
81 hope to see the time when there is
no money in politics." said the ardent
youth. "Well." answered Senator Sor.
ghum, gravely, "when that time comes
We'll simply have to go into some other
business. Washington Star.
well, madam" said the doctor bus
Ting in, "how is our patient this morn
ing?" His mind seems to be perfectly
clear this morning, doctor" replied the
tired watcher. HE refuses to touch
any Of the medicines. Chicago Trib-
une.
Nell-Iseethe Bjoneses are back from
their wedding trip. l had an idea at
the wedding that Mr.. Bjones was quite
tall, but he isn't. Belle-Well, it's to be
expected that man is rather short
when he returns from his wedding trip.
Philadelphia Record.
Miss PASSED. accepted Dick Brad
| ford last night. Miss Younge--Yes.
expected it. Miss Passee-Why? Miss
Younge-Because when refused him
he said the next time he would propose
to some one old enough to know her
own mind.-Harlem Life.
Cant you afford to wear better
clothes than thoseY' asked the sympa-
thetic woman of the street beggar, as
she eyed his tattered garments. mo.
a'am, really can't" was the mendt-
cants reply; "these toys is what l beg
in."-Yonkers Statesman.
.My good little man." said the visit
ing pastor, Il am afraid you've been
fighting. A black eye! Don't you want
me to pray with your Nav" said
the good little man. Run home and
pray with your own kid. He's got two
black eyes. "-Philadelphia Press.
ut is my opinion" said one sage, that
man who has college degree is very
likely to be successful in life" Yes"
answered the other; land 1t is rule
that works both ways. a man who Is
successful in life is very likely to get
college degree. washington Star.
do you remember that schoolma'am
| that was SO much mashed on when
we went to school together down at the
| Forks?" Yep. Where is she now?"
II left her at my home half an hour
ago" ''rhen you married her after
ally" "Not much | didn't She mar.
ried my youngest boy."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
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