The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-06-08
UNCLE BILLY IN TOWN.
The Trouble His Money Gave H

l Hau qudlnl eHpeflenC1 last wee
 with a country relative from Arkan
 sas," said a Tchoupitoulas street busi
 ness man. 'I don't know our exact de
 gree of kinship, but he is a fine, sin.
 ple-minded old fellow, and when I hap
 pened, by mere accident, to visit hi
 riverside plantation few years agc
 he received me with such unaffectet hospitality and gave me such a roya
 good time that I made him pvomis
 faithfully to come and see ms som
 day in New Orleans,
 Well last Monday he turned ID q
 the store, and, I'm ashamed to say, didn't recognize him at first. Thert
 was some excuse for me. however, fol he was disguised in a suit of brand
 new, stiff, stark, hand me down
 clothes from Little Rock, and more,
 over was limpng badly and leaning or
 heavy cane. AS soon as I saw who he
 was and greetings had been exchanged I took him into the back office and ex- pressed regret at finding him crippled
 I ain't crippled, he said, grinning
 that's my money, plague tal;e it dunno know where else to pu: it where it'll be safe Your moneyn I eXclaim- ed in a.mazement, what do y1u mean?
 I mean I've got my money in my
 hn i1I ff ,-;,r smart knot with the string I've wrap ped around it. I couldn't help roaring
 with laughter Good heavens. Uncle Billy I said, you'll be in misery all the time you're here! Take the money out and put it in your pocket It will be perfect safe--or if that docsn t suit you, I added, get money belt. He half way promised, and arl,r q lit- tie general talk he took his departure, making an appointment to look in next morning. It seemed that he had made the trip down the river with an old steamboat crony and the two had put up together at some boarding house on the other side of town I think the old rustic manners, and in spite of any thing I could say he declined positively to come up to my house, so I mapp a1 out a little programme of sightseeing and determined to devote myself to him as much as possible.
 Next morning he apeared on time, ,' the story teller went on, and I was glad to note that he had ceased to limp. Yes, I've taken it out he said when I remarked upon the fact and I reckon I've got 1t safe enough now, It certainly was givin' me a powerful lot French Market, and had walked only two or three blocks when I heard a great scuffling and scrambling in our rear, and. looking around saw a dozen bootblacks and street gamins fighting over some object on the pavement. That was nothing remarkable, but fifty feet farther on the thing was repeated, only the crowd had meanwhile greatly augmented and was now right at our heels. Just then I heard a metallic chink, and the mystery was explained by a silver half dollar which rolled out of my companions right trouser leg, to be instantly grabbed by one of our retinue of ragamufflns. Hold hard, Uncle Billy!' 1 exclaimed; you've bleeding money at every pore" He stopped stockstil and clutched himself around the waist Great snakes!' he groaned, that doggoned belt has sprung lea.k! It appeared that he had taken my advice and bought a money belt, but, as it turned out after ward, he had omitted to button the front ends of the specie pouch, and it had emptied insef.
 "As he stood there stupefied with woe he happened to notice the lowering cloud of gamins, and the sight changed him suddenly from grief to rage. Git out! you rascals, he yelled, and before I could stop him he launched a couple of savage kicks into the thick of the mob. Each kick scattered about $5 in specie among the delighted scramblers, and they begged him eagerly to kick em some more. I told the old man to stand perfectly still for a few mo- ments, and then hustled around and got some cord and tied him up at the ankles like a couple of sacks of corn. That proved effective until we could 'each shelter and investigate damages, put I1e uay WdS SlUileu TOT poor DHCle Billy, and after he found he had lost BIO he insisted upon returning at once 70 his boarding house. He declared it vas the only place at which he felt safe.
 Next afternoon he called to bid me good by and I noticed that he was imping again. Yes, I've got it back in ny shoe, he said, that blamed belt ;ickened me of patent contraptons, lnd when the stuff is slowed away Town by my toes I can always feel ure it's there I tried to get him to eman over for Mard Gras. but he hook his head No, I guess he said, adly. Since I dropped that S19 silver money I've plumb lost confidence in myself. Pm headin' straight for home, ny son, and I shan't take off my shoes r speak to airy strangers till I strike he old plantation landing. g."-From the Jew Orleans Times Democrat.
 IN WOODBRIDGE.