The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-01-04
Some Of lts Pathetic Features and
lts Moral.
THE FIRST AUTHENTIC ACCOUNT
How the Camel's Back Acquired lts
Rumps-The First Effort on
Record to Pass Spurious
Moneys.
Cast Liverpool Crisis.)

The first New Years day of which,
any record exists occurred January o.i
4O03 b. c. Just one year before TO-
the day. Adam opened business in Eden,
The village at that time was sparsel!
populated, so Adam branched forth as
a fruit and Cain raiser, and waited fo'
real estate to advance. The day Oh
Adams arrival in Eden the town went
"wet," consequently New Years day,
,wo, Cor b. c.. 4000 Eden ran wide
OPEN" not a policeman being In sight
Promptly at I o'clock New Years NOR !
ming Adam awoke and tumbling out OF
his upper berth in the family fig tree,
he walked briskly down to the Eu-
pirates and breaking out piece OF ice
for a mirror, performed his ablutions
the hole created by the fracture
.oming up to his house, Eve met nm
at the foot, What do you think I've
got for breakfast, Adder" she asked
in a gurgling, Beaver college voice.
Adam looked his hand over anu
passed. "Well dearie," said the goou
Eve, las 1t Is chilly morning. I've got
you these" and opening her hand She
displayed with fond pride cluster OF
red peppers. Adam dispatched tn,
morning meal with great gusto, anG
after pulling a couple of icicles off the
henhouse roof, which he munched for q
chaser, started UP to his room. Open
ing his dress suit case he extracted Il
fur trimmed fig leaf which he donned
with much care. This addition to his
wardrobe was a Christmas present
from his wife the week previous, and
although Ad was a grown man 1t was
his first Christmas present. 1t has
always been one of the most pathetic
and remarkable features of this great
mans career that although he was de-
prived of all advantages in his youth,
never having had days schooling
nor known the tender care and guild
ance of refined mother, he should
have so conducted himself that he be-
came the founder of family after
wards SO famous in political and civil
history, both in the United States and
Long Reach.
Carefully combing his whiskers with
Ewes sweet pea trellis. he started
down town. Picking his way care
street he strolled on until he came to
the Diamond. Entering Rang O'Tang' S
place he found tn gorilla and the
elephant shaking lie bones" for
cocoa nut milk. Now it is a matter Of
both knowledge and regret to Adams
most sincere friends that he never
could say no; so 1t was no surprise
that he Joined in the game when urged
by the mercernary O'Tang. O.Tang had
but recently come to Eden from Dub
lin and already had the aldermanic bee
in his back hair. the Lion from Britain
having captured the position of night
watch. The game went rapidly OIL
and in short time Adam had gotten
stuck so frequently that he was broke,
with the exception of one shell that
had been thrown out Of his deposit the
day before by the teller of the Bank of
Eden because 1t had been punched.
Adam had filled the hole up with
plaster, SO he, reckless from his losses
and heated beyond reason from his
copious indulgence in cocoanut milk,
quart gourd of pokeberry Juice. Red
liquor is always bad "mix." Adam
and his fellow gamblers however were
as yet mere dilettantes in the science Of
booze lighting; so they passed the
gourd around.
Libations were long and heavy, and
the talk soon became so loud the Lion
came up and looked In with a warning.
Just after the Lion left the trouble be-
gan. OTang came over and asked
whom the last order was on. Adam
y
In payment. was called by O'Tang, and
the fun began. An alarm was sent in
and the Lion ran the bunch" in on
the back Of the camel The old
monkey who was police Judge. gave
them their choice Of paying $3.50
apiece, or going to Canton. Friends
skirmished around and. with O'Tang's
pull got them "time' on their fines
and they were released with an ad-
monition from the Court. Adam swore
on the next day, but was sorry for it
the day after, r. K. Morse having de-
parted.
Such is one version Of Adams fall.
For data In this article the writer is in
part indebted to the Ohio Patriot and
Susan b. Anthony. both having been
contemporaries Of the hero. The
moral is, III you're a man, don't
monkey with BOOZE"