St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1901-02-20
The Wrong Laddie.

A gentleman on walk from one OF the
suburbs of Glasgow happened to call at
a farmhouse, where he was readily sup.
piled with a glass of milk. He offered
the woman sixpeuce, but she declined all
payment. 81 coudna' TAX money for
t." she said, in her own proud way.
The gentleman expressed his acknowledg
ment and went on his way, but at the
garden gate he detected a small boy
playing. Surely, he thought, this is the
ladys son. So he put his hand in his
pocket to give him the sixpence, when he
heard shrill voice, That's ma ma lad
die, SIR" Then there was a pause, and
the voice afterward resounded, this time
directed toward a small boy at the side
door, Gang DOT, Willie, an speak till
the nice gentleman at the gate!'- The
Liverpool Post.
Oliver Wendell Holmes used to tell
story illustrative OF the keen perceptions
of children. He was present at gather
ing where he CHANGED to be seated near
the refreshment table, and noticed little
girl looking at the table. In his kindly
way he said: Are you hungry, my
child ?" She replied bashiuly in the at
6rmative. "Then why don't you take a
sand witch ?" he asked. The little maid
responded: Because l haven't any
fork" The Autocrat quoted smilingly:
"Fingers were made before forks" and
to his intense amusement she answered:
Not my fingers"
A Grundy County Kan J physician re.
Gently sent TO the address of one of his
patients bill for professional services,
and within ten days received the follow
ing letter written on the back of his
memorandum: "Deer Sur this noat was
put in my box by mistake l han't the
man hees dead and amt any relation OF
mine anyway. don't see how your con-
shens will let yon dun the dead. Why
don't you live a better christon live and
let live and try to meat that man who
dide in heaven which is worth moar than
forty dollars to any doctor"
Olivia was visiting her grandmother
Olivia's grandmother has money to burn.
So have Olvia's father and mother. AL
though the father and mother had come
to the wicked city OF New York to burn
some of their money, leaving Olivia with
grandmamma in the west, they are
nevertheless very good people. Olivia is
we'll acquainted with the Lords Prayer.
One morning she climed into bed with
her grandmother and began to make
conversation.
AT home" she said, 1--WE often pray
God to bring us bread"
do your" said grandmamma. "And
butter, too. suppose ?"
ooh, mol" said Olivia, airily. "The
butterman brings the butter. - The
Sun.
Albert Ketchum young farmer Of
Daleville, Ind, suspected that a will
made by his father had been hidden OF
destroyed by his stepmother. He went
into Muucie to consult a clairvoyant
professor" H. Ross. This gifted person
said he could find the will all right, but
he must have $500. Albert provided
himself with that sum, and returned
Ross said that in order to locate the will
he must "mesmerize the bills" and tina
he would step into the next room and de
it. Albert sat hopefully expectant 70
four hours. Then he found the mex
room empty. Then he told his story t,
the police. They are looking for the pro
lessor.
Two inmates of a scotch asylum work
ing in the garden decided upon an al
J tempt to escape. Watching their oppor
J tunity when their keeper was absent
} they approached the wall.
moo bend doom, Sandy" said the on
land I'll elm up your shoulder to tn
; top, and then I'll gle ye hand up tae.
Sandy, accordingly bent down. Tan
| mounting his back, gained the top of til