The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-02-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Il never undertake an important busi-
ness venture in the afternoon: history
has established a superstition that
makes it seem unfortunate to do So
ITO what historical event do you at
/ tribute such a theory as that2"
pened at the approach of Eve, you
know Richmond Dispatch.
Arriving at the scaffold. Raleigh lost
no time in feeling of the edge of the ak.
He said: wouldn't that make you
late2''
Then he laid his head upon the block
We are not trying to write history,
here. understand; merely historical fic-
tlon.-Detroit Journal.
THAT must have been a pretty poor
variety show you were WITH remarked
the stranded tragedian. Il understand
you as you appeared on the stage
Yes" replied the comedian. ''iE their
/ determination to show their disaprroval
they left no turn unstoned- standard
and Times.
Willie-Pa. what's the meaning of "sic
trausic Gloria Mundi2''
Pa-H'ml weller Gloria Mundy is the
name of a woman, I guess. And, femme
! see=s.sic transit" Him. I guess that's
/ got something to do with a ride in an
ambulance. Now go to bed.-Philadel-
phia Press
Towne-That boy of Jones' is older
than ne looks, isn't he?
Browne don't think so-why?
Towne-I saw him out skating today,
and he never once tried to see how near
he could go to the danger sign without
falling in.-Philadelphia Press.
80 your. son has returned from col
lege, has hep"
Yes"
did he get his degree?"
yes: he got about fifteen degrees be-
low the graduating requirement. -
Richmond Dispatch
what do you call these?" he asked
at the breakfast table.
FLANNEL cakes" replied the wife Of
his bosom.
sold you corduroy this time. Baltimore
American.
This wireless biography reminds me
of a groundless quarrel"
what possible connection is there be-
tween the two2'
.tIt.a practically having words over
nothing. ''-Philadelphia Times.
.'Then e's a lucky man for your
flows that?"
why. he's got a butler so dignified
that ne even awes the cook into submis-
sionY'-Brool<lyn Life.
Tommy-Pop, what is the greatest
| force in local politics2
| Tommy's Pop-The police force. my
philadelphia Record
Old Gentleman-Here. sir; how is it
catch you kissing my daughter?
The Lover-By sneaking in on US. sir.
Philadelphia Press.
German Child don't believe in en-
/ ner0rS mamma
German Mother Cshocked)-Oh! you
little infdely'-Puek.
81 wish to see a bonnet" said Miss
For yourself, miss7'' inquired the
French milliner.
Marie. run down stairs and get me
hats between Is and 25-" Bonnet sold
Tfd-Bits.
! Editorial Writer-But what can we
say? We don't know a thing against
/ Smith and his crowd.
Editor-Well we can at least refer to
! them as Smith and others Of his nk!-
/ Detroit Journal.
"see hereY' exclaimed the shopper, ex-
citedly, there's man just dropped
/ dead in that bargain crush!''
How inopportune!'' cried the floor
walker eve have not yet opened our
undertaking department. ''-Philadelphia
Press.
Maude-He kissed me, the insulting
creaturel
Maude-oh. it wasn't the kiss com
plain of He had the insolence to say
/ that he didn't mean to do it.-Boston
Transcript
Jack Bachelor-So you have named
him after a vice president?
Ned Newpop-Yes; we want him to
start out in life totally unknown and
make a name for himsef.-Judge.
Dorothy after a drive off into the
pond)-Wonder why it's called "a mixed
fourSOne.''
Babbie-Why, that's easy dear. It's a
case Of force 'em" to get the men to
play with US, mean things!
Hodd-Hang 1t all DO you suppose
I'll ever make a good golf player2
Todd (pityingly)-Never, old man. You
think too much of your family and your
business-Harper's Bazaar
where's the servants. asked Mr.Cal-
lowjoy.
apprehensively.
what did she do2''
''She took her wages and went away
without a, word"
HIM. I wonder if we hadn't better
try to get her back. Anybody as gentle
and obedient as that ought to prove
jewel. We shington Star.
beg your pardon. kind lady" began
the polite beggar, but I'm badly in nee1
4 wonder if you deserve help said
the kind lady, Suspiciously. IF I were
to give you a penny, what would you do