davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
A Pair of Runaway KITE.

Two kites which were the leading
members of flight of five sent up
last summer from the royal aeronaut-
ical observatory near Berlin broke
away from their companions, and.
dragging long wire which touched
the ground and extended two miles
behind them, fed before the wind al
most 100 miles before they were
brought down TO the earth. The re-
sistance of the wire trailing over the
land suficed to keep the kites proper
" presented TO the wind, and their
lonely journey lasted through an en-
tire night. When the kites started on
their remarkable break for liberty
they were at height of more than
pa miles.-Youth's Companion.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Very Unlike n Groom.

Il guess I'm losing my sizing-up
faculty." remarked the hotel clerk.
"Why, would have sworn that that
chap, who just registe j. p. Tracy
and WIFE was on his wedding trip"
"And he wasn't, eh2" asked q by
stander.
Il should say he wasn't" replied
the clerk. "Why, when 1 asked him
confidentially if he'd like the bridal
chamber, he said: 'Surel' and seemed
tickled to death."-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Every Man His own Foot Rn1.

Your hands and arms will make
good substitutes for q foot-rule or a
tape measure. The first finger is usu.
ally four inches long, two inches from
the knucl1le to the next joint, and two
inches more to the tip. From the tin
of the middle finger to the elbow il
about 16 inches on an average, and the
distance from finger tip to finger tip
of the outstretched hands is about sip
feet. individuals vary in these re-
spects. But if once for all you meas
ure the exact length of your finger,
your arm, your outstrstched hands,
and your foot or boot, you will have
permanent measures always with YOU
IN. Y. Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Punished for Cause.

Church - understand the Jury
stood eleven to one in favor of acquit-
tai at first?
Gotham-That's right; we did.
"Wen, how in the world did the
IL ever come around to think as the
one MANI"
'Well, you see, the fellow who was
alone for conviction knew the pris-
oner pretty well, and he told US that
the fellow had lot Of interesting
children, and he was forever telling
stories about their marvellous sayings,
so we thought it wouldn't hurt to
lock him up for few weeks."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
THE PoPE's SEDAN CHAIR.

was born March 2, 1910, at Carpineto.
In the Papal States. At the age of
eight he was placed in the Jesuit col
lege of Vitebo, where he remained six
years and distinguished himself for
ability and propriety of conduct. His
mother dying at the end of this time.
In 1924, his father took him to Rome.
and in November of that year placed
him in the celebrated Roman college.
Here his great talents and earnest ap-
plication were strongly impressed
upon his instructors, who were de-
lighted when, at the age of IS, he took
the first prize in physico-chemistry
Following this, he took a complete
course in philosophy, receiving the
laurea in 1881. He then entered the
college of Noble Ecclesiastics and
learned canon and civil law in the
schools of the Roman university. After
becoming a doctor of laws, he was
appointed by Pope Gregory XVI do
nestle prelate and referendary of the
signature, March is, 1887, his priest
hood being confirmed in the chapel of
the vicariate December %, 1887. At
this time, although but 81 years of
age, he was admitted 20 be one of the
first scholars of Rome.
Pope Gregory speedily recognized
the young priests executive ability by
making him apostolic delegate at
Benevento, Perugia and Spoleto, in
each of which places his administra-
ton was marked by great energy and
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Story OF m Coffin

A poor widow in Koethen has been
put in quandary by q generous
donor. He used TO be a coffin man.
ufacturer, and when he broke up his
business he made her a present of a
beautiful coffin. 1t was delivered, but
the neighbors of the widow in the
tenement house object to its pres
ence. Now she will have to move,
and she is short of funds. Nobody
wants to buy the coffin, as the coffin
manufacturer spoiled the market
when he sold his goods at auction.
The donor refuses TO take his gift
back.-Wiener Tageblatt.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Natural PoIitencs.

"of course I'm in favor of suffrage
for women, Henrietta" said Mr.. Meek
tom "But 1 do not think they ought
to go to the polls themselves"
What do you mean?"
They ought to be able to send
their husbands to vote for both. II
they go to the polls themselves t
will confuse matters. A perfect gen
tleman who saw a lady at the polls
looking little worried would feel
compelled to lift his hat politely and
say: Madam, take my vote THE
King.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

Let it not be forgotten, however,
that the exquisite humor" displayed
an the name Tommy Atkins belongs
rather TO the war office than to the
public, That institution used to issue
little pocket manuals, in which each
soldiers name, age, date of enlistment,
length of service, ETC., were entered,
and the method of filling in the form
was explained by the use of hypo-
thetical name, not John Doe of the
legal profession, but-Tkomas Atkins.
The books were first so called, and
then the soldiers.-Academy.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
PnrIInmentnrv Rccord,

Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman
holds one of the proudest records of
the commons. He has held his seat
without break for almost n genera.
tion. Patrick o'Brien holds a distinc-
tion of another sort. He Is the Tom
Thumb of the house, standing four
feet three inches in his shoes. It is
one of his namesakes-J. +. Y. O'Brien
who has distinguished himself by
being sentenced to be hanged, drawn
and quartered.-St James Gazette.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Making an Effort

what makes you say hal hal in
that CHASTITY and idiotic manner every
now and then?"
Il am trying to do my duty" an
swered the misanthrope. Everybody
says that spring time is joyous. sea-
son, and I'm trying to live up to the
traditions in spite of the fact that
when left home my wife was shaking
the moth balls out of my clothes and
making preparations TO move on the
first of May."-Washingt Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Life-SnvinE Pigs.

The Australian coastiny STEAMER
Kameruka, while going from Eden to
Sydney, travelling at full speed, struck
on a reef at Moruya Head. There be-
ing no rockets on the ship, the cap
tain tied a life line to some pigs
which formed part of the cargo and
had the animals put overheard. The
pigs swan to the shore, taking the
line with them, and by establishing
communication every soul on board
was rescued.-N. Y. Sun.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

tomer returns the dozen collars soiled
with the ticket to any dealer who
acts as agent for the producers, and
gets dozen new collars of any style
desired, in exchange, by the payment
OF S5 cents on every dozen. II the
original box is not returned five cents
extra is charged the purchaser. The
hrm relaunders the collars and puts
them in regular stock again and
,gain, until wear shows--N. Y. Her
AID
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
The King and HI. Dos Tux

A recent Greek law is to the effect
that every owner of dog shall pay
yearly tax of 10 drachmas. Those
who do not pay in time are con-
demned by the new law to pay double
the tax. King George sent recently
to the police in order to register his
four dogs and pay their taxes. But
the official found that his majesty
owed for the taxes a sum of as
drachmas, and had been fined another
Is drachmas for having delayed pay
ment. His majesty has paid 90
drachmas for his dogs.-St. James
Gazette.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

A wholesale city house making coli
Iars has adopted novel plan to in
crease sales on its goods. These
manufacturers have retail agencies in
hrst and second-class cities through
out the United States, through which
their brands are marketed. The con-
sumer pays $1.50 for one dozen coli
lara In a box, and IS cents additional
for IN exchange ticket" The ems
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

TEE SEABOARD AIR LINE Rail-
WAY Is called ThE CAPITAL on v
LINE, because it enters the Oapl ala
of the six States which il travsrs-s
exclusive of the National Capita
through which It's trains run solid fr, m
New York to Jacksonville, and Tamp,.
Florida. 1t runs through Richm,
Va, Raleigh, N. g Columbia, s.
Atlanta, Ga Montgomery, Ala, and
Tallahassee, Fla.
This road will continue to run the
famous FLORIDA AND MErROpOTo
IrAN LINZ TED, and THE FI,ORTD1
AND ATLANTA FAST MALL TRAINS
Affording the only through limited ser-
vice daily, including Sunday, between
New York and Florida, and ia the
shortest line between these points
These splendidly auodern trains of
the SEABORD AIR LINE RAILWAY
arrived at, and depart from PennsvI.
vania Railway Stations at Washington.
Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York
carrying Puilman,s most improved
equipments, with unexcelled dining
car service, compartments. drawing
room, ana observation cars. It has
fuiIman service i've times per weak
each way from Washington To thss
o. ~
1t has the short line to and from,
RIchtnend. Norfolk, Portsmouth. Raj.
eigh, Southern Pines, Columbia. Sc.
vGnnsn, Jacksonville, Tampa and Al.
lanta, and the principal cities betwaan
the south and East. 1t is also the al.
rect route to Athens, Augusta and Ma.
con. A
In Atlanta, direct connections ara
made IN the Union Station for Ohatt,.
aoogs' Nashville, and Memphis. also
TOT New Orleans and sll polnts in Tar.
as, OalIfornis and Mexico.
In addition it is the only line oner.
atlng through trains and PulIman
sleeping cars between Atlanta And
norfolk, where connections are made
Win the Old Dominion Steamship Co
IRON New York, the M. & L. Com
pany from Boston, and Provid enoe.
me Norfolk and Washington steam.
0oaG 20 mpany, from Washington, the
bAitlmore Steam Packet COMPANY
rom Baltimore, and the N. PA n,
haliway' from New York and PhiIadel.
Through Pullman cars also on.ra.ad
on quick scedules between Jaekson.
VILE and Sc. Louis, via Monticello. and
between Jacksonville and New Orlesn6
ID addition 30 through trains with BnE-
let CHAIR Cars between Savannah and
Montgomery.
The local traiv service is first. clasa
with most cow eAient schedules.
In fact the sEAR0ARD AIR LINE
RAILWAY will ticket passengers for
any points, sffoTding the Qaichsst
schedules, finest trains, and nnoat eoun-
torta bic service. Its 1000 mile booka
sold at 10. 90, are good from Wac.
lneton. ID. o., over the entire SYSTEM
OF 7, 500 miles including Florida,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

The instances are certainly numer-
Gus in which the most successful
leaders in the field have been far be-
low the averages both in height and
weight. Why, the "Little Corporar'
himself would never have become q
soldier maybe if his fate had depend.
ed on one of these war office boards,
and it is question whether the ma
ton would now have been honorina
Little Bobs." It all seems so funny,
the craze for bigness. = Army and
Navy Gazette.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
HIS HOLINESS. POPE LEO XIII

slderations never enter into his de-
cisions; and until the talented woman
novelist furnishes more proof than
mere assertion the world will be in
clined to accept the estimate of the
pope's associates rather than hers.
The biography OF the head of the
Roman Catholic church demonstrates
that genuine merit, combined with an
understanding of the value and pow
er of organization, is the keystone of
success in the ecclesiastical as we'll
as the business world. Vincenzo Gio-
acchino Pecci, the son of Count Ludo-
vico Pecci and his wife, Anna Prospect,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

Still they regarded the Armless
Wonder distrustfully.
"The money all passed through your
handsl" they insisted.
"Ah, yes" rejoined he. "But don't
you see that I should have been false
to my professional ideals had I per-
mitted any of it to stick to my fin
gers?"
Hereupon, with these high assur-
ances, they were content; all except
the Circassian Princess, who had been
reared upon New England farm and
had accordingly but an inadequate
conception of genuine devotedneas to
art.-Detroit Journal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
THE ROMAN PONTIFF.
Looks Forward to Living to the
Close of 1908.
Wants to Round Out . Quarter of n
Century OF His Pontincate and
Half - Century OF HTS
CRrdinalate.
Especial corrsspondsncs.l

Especial Correspondence.l
DOPE LEO Kill. according to ca
bic message recently received
from Rome, has expressed to his
intimates the conviction that he would
live until late in the year 1908, when,
on December 10, he proposes to cele-
CRATE the fiftieth anniversary of bis
elevation to the cardinalate in man
ner BETTING so rare and distinguished
an event. From time to time the news
papers spread the report that the
venerable pontiff is at deaths door,
but from a church dignitary who has
seen him several times within the past
decade it is learned that he seems to
be about as robust now as he was ten
years ago.
Pope Leo is one of the most remark
able-if not the most remarkable
men of our age. His character is a
rare combination of frmness and gen.
tleness, and with these virtues is COM
bined a brilliant mind, whose grand
thoughts have challenged the admira-
ton of thinking men of every creed.
Contemporary critics have dealt gen.
thy with the aged ruler of the church.
They have, almost without exception,
given him praise for honesty of pur-
pose and sincerity of intent; the most
notable exception being Marie Corelli,
who, in "The Master Christian" draws
a picture of his holiness which de-
picts him as an old, old man governed
by senile prejudice and the advice of
self-seeking sycophants. Miss Corelli's
delineation of LeO's character is ridi-
culed by churchmen, who assert that
the pope is ruler of church in fact as
well as name, and that personal con-
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
A Change.

THE name of the sultan of Moroc-
co is Abdul Azziz," remarked the
Snake Editor.
Thanks for the information" re-
piled the Horse Editor.
Don't mention it, my dear sir. I
only wish to add that after he dies
he will be Abdul as was."-Pittsburgh
Chronicle Telegraph.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Chance for n Vacation

81 fear" said the physician to En-
peck, as he came from the sick room,
that your wife's mind is entirely
gone"
WELL" replied the other half, with
a sigh of seeming relief, 'I'm not at
all surprised. She has been giving me
piece of it daily ever since we were
married."-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
A Remarkable invalid

A st. Petersburg correspondent
says an invalid who has reached the
remarkable age of 14o years is now
lying in the hospital of Tomsk. BE
still remembers Catherine IL, and
talks of having buried his wife loo
years ago and his son 90 years back.
His record was nearly approached by
Georgian, who died a few days ago
in Tifiis at the age of 1913 years..
Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

He had a fearful head the next
morning, and his conscience smota
him likewise.
John" remarked his wife, meekly.
Il want to apologize for lie I told las
night when you left. 1 said: 'You'u
be home soon, john and you weren't"
Philadelphia Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Taking No Chances

Practical Father-Has that young
man who wants to marry you any
money?
Romantic Miss-Moneyl He gave
me a cluster diamond ring studded
with pearls.
Yes, / know. Has he any money
Ieft?"-St. Louis Republic.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Robber CreDt ,n with wo,v..

For sheer melodrama the English
jewel robber Houghton's arrest would
be hard to beat. After his last big
diamond theft, which occurred a few
days ago, he was traced to West
Bromwich, and thence led the detec-
tives q dance over the country. At
last, when the pursuers were hard
on his heels, he dashed into travel
ing menagerie, which was exhibiting
just outside birmingham. There he
found one of the attendants fastens
ing up van cage containing a pair
of large gray wolves. He flung the
man on one side and opened the cage,
shutting himself in with the beasts,
and daring anyone to fetch him out.
The strange thing was that the
wolves, which the proprietor had all
ways considered the most dangerous
animals in the show, took no notice
Of the fugitive, but showed great i'll
temper toward the keeper and a con-
stable, who had great difficulty in
dragging Houghton out.-London
News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

When small Bobby had worn his
first pair of trousers for half an hour
ne went to his mother and begged to
have on his kilt again.
What for?" she asked.
Because" replied Bobby, "I feel so
lonesome in pants. "-Lewisto Jour
nal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
anduafrX

That young man is one of The most
industrious people in the establish
ment," remarked the proprietor. 'I
never see him when he is not working
hard"
YES" answered the manager. "He
is always in hurry to get through so
that he can play golf."-Washington
Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
A Trouble Maker

Hoax-You're fine lobster!
Joax-What's the matter?
You've given your wife SIS bon
metz
We'll, you don't have to pay for it,"
mo; but I have to pay for anoth-
er one just like it for my wife,
Philadelphia Record.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
The UaunI Source.

Assistant Editor on London Comic
Paper-Isn't this joke rather far
fetched?
Editor in Chief-Well, rather. The
postal service brought it clear across
the ocean in Yankee paper.-Somer-
Vile Journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Looked Tn To

The Missionary Tin surprise)-And
you once visited the United States?
What did you think of it?
The Cannibal knight impressed me
as nation of rubbernecks.
The Missionary (coldly)-IndeedI
What led you to think that?
The Cannibal King-During my So
journ there was the star feature of n
side show.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Bear. HI. Name worthi1x.

Jack during their quarreD-Now,
let me explain.
May want to say something first.
'All right. I'm all ears"
81 know it. No doubt that's why
your parents called you 'Jack.'"--
Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
His Salary Inadeauate

II should like a slight increase in
my salary" remarked the sad-look-
ing young bookkeeper. ST have a
large family to support
why, you've only been married
two years." said his employer.
II know that" was the reply, "but
none of my wife's people have done
anything Observation-Disclosures Rec
ord.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Cooking by EIectrictty.

Although cooking by electricity is
generally conceded to be the ideal
method, it has not been adopted to
any great extent, chiefly because the
appliances have been expensive, and
not because the current costs too
much to compete with coal, oil or gas.
Scientific American.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Canadn,s VIVA nu1alo.

Canada still has herd of wild buff
falo. Traces of the existence of the
animals were found in the woods at
the west of Slave river. It was ascer-
tanned that the buffalo was being
ne1cilessly hunted and destroyed by
the MISUNDERSTANDING News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Very StrenLCv

Say, Pebbles, dis is fortune, sure.
leaned up agin a house an cot a
streak OF paint on me old coat. Den
de lady come out an gimme one of
her husbands good coats"
Dat must have been a streak of
luck, Cinders."-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
An Original Reason,

What reason did Spifins present
for wishing to obtain divorce?" we
asked.
well, was the reply, che said he was
born bachelor, and wished to revert
to the single type."--Pittsburgh
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Heavy branches of Manufacture

We have more than 40 branches of
manufacture in the United States
which each turn out annually more
than $5o,OoO,OOo worth of products
and of the 40 five turn out over $500,
100000 each.-lndustrial Journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
stnndInr HIm mn

Edith-Papa says when you ask him
for my hand he is going to stand you
off.
Harry-Ha, hal he does, Ell?
"Yesl Says he is going 10 stand
you off about four feet so he can get
good stiff punt at you."-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

Hicks--See that woman there? She
is a clairvoyant; travels all over the
country giving sceances.
Ricks-A circulating medium, I sup.
pose.-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Domestic JOYS.

j'eeks-My wife prefers coffee for
breakfast and 1 prefer tea.
Weeks-Then 1 suppose you have
both?
Oh no; we compromise"
"In what way?"
We compromise on coffee. "-Chica-
go Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Peculiar Tendencte.

do you feel nervous after you have
had your dinner?"
mo; but I'm sometimes nervous
until I know where my dinner Is to
come from."-Chicago Record-Herald
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Reaned Ren.-...

II never tell ALI know he said. in
tending to be mysterious.
Wen, she replied, at certainly
cant be because you don't have time"
Chicago Times-Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

Miriam-Didn't 1 see Mr.. Brassie
kiss you on the links to-day2
Millicent-No; he tried to, but he
only foozled.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

SUMNER BoARDERs WANTED
Mrs. j. 7 Aliens, Gum berland coup.
ty, Va 10 minutes walk from Farm
vile station. Plenty of vegetable And
truit. Good mineral water OF ali KINDS
ST d very quiet place. For other ~.
formation apply 20
Mrs ] +, ALLEN,
FArmville, Va. Box n
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
The Brave Conductor.

None but the brave street car con-
ductor deserves the fare.-Chicago
Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

The Wife-The new cook is very tell,
isn't she?
The Husband-Yes; but it isn't Ike
" she'll stay long.-Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
SEABOARD AIR LINE
RAILWAY.
trHE CAPITAL CITY LINE J

Its Magnificent Through and / 81.
Passenger Servics Sc tween To.
East and south and South west.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Assets of Character

The assets of character are in what
you are, and not what you have
RAMS Horn.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18

II haven't seen your father for ,
bng time. What is he doing now?"
Eighteen NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
Mental nrnnen.in

Envy is the dyspepsia of the mind.
Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-05-18
HELP WANTED,


Colored girls wishing to secure DO,
sitions such as Cooks, Cham bsrmaids,
and General Housework in PhIladel-
phia ard suburban towns, can secure
such and also Accemmods atoms at the
Ladies Southern Directory. No fees
until positions secured.
Call or address,
MRS. UPCHUROH,
1881 Pine Street,
I'm Philadelphia, Ps.