davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26
humorous department.
Why the Joke Missed Fire.

Some persons seem to have the fac
ulty Of always missing the point OF a
story that they attempt to repeat
said Col. John Conover the other even
ing. The colonel enjoys as we'll as any
person in the world a good story well
told, and Is himself an entertaining
raconteur. Perhaps some lamentaoie
failures in the past had something to
do with the slight tinge Of regret WITH
which the colonel said these words.
There was a fellow who was an or
ficer in the corps in which soldlereo
during the war;" he said. and ne
could shy away from point as we'll as
any person that I ever knew. He was
officer of the day when we were en-
camped down around Nashville. and II
making his rounds he came upon capt
Goodspeed, who was in charge OF q
battery. The captain-he afterWaro
became Major Goodspeed-is now
prominent business man Of Columbus
Ohio. but in those days was a husky
eood-natured young man who was MOI
ayerse to a little fun if it did not inter
fere with his soldiery duties.
"'How's everything today?" inquired
the officer.
".All right was the reply, except tne
bows did some shelling last night
"'Shelling what? asked the ofhcer
much interested.
"'Some corn
"Well, that's a good one, said the
officer. I'll spring that on "Old Rosy.
HE went his rounds and at nlgn'
made his report to old Rosy as Gen
Rosecrans was called.
Everything is all right, suppose
INQUIRED the general. I have heard nc
noises Of any kind
"'An right replied the officer OF the
day, except that over in Goodspeeds
battery the boys been shelling some
corn
1.-The general looked up somewhat
nuzzled and in a most matter OF fac'
way said, Why don't they feed 1t II
the ear?'
And that officer thought long time
before he discovered why the genera
did not see the point Of his joke.
Kansas City Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26

All. A MATTER OF HABIT.-A gooo
dope" story was told the other night
by a well-known railroad man, and 1t Is
we'll worth repeating.
It is on a certain prominent Georgian
now gathered to his fathers. He be-
came a large and habitual user OF NOR
phine. He used it for years, his wife
finally being employed to do the dosing
for the fiend.
The good woman allowanced out the
drug for quite while; but hnaii9
thought she would gradually suosu-
tute flour for morphine and thus cure
the major Of his disgusting habit. SO
we'll did the plan work, she doing the
substitution so deftly, that he was soon
eating nothing but flour, yet under the
Imagination that it was morphine.
For IS months this had been going on,
the major swallowing the flour regular
ly, until one day at dinner party given
by the major, his habit Of eating NOR
phine was brought up by relatives pres
ent, and he was severely criticised for
it. The major protested that he coulo
not help himself, that the habit was SO
securely fastened on him that 1t would
mean death to quit. He could not quit
he declared. He had tried and failed.
Major" said the good wife, ashamed
of her deception and determined to keep
the secret no longer, you can quit, for
you. haven't eaten any morphine for 10
months"
Congratulations followed; but the
major was mad. He never allowed his
wife to again measure out the NOR
phine, and again began it's use. When
he died, he was buying it by the whole
sale, a dozen bottles at the time.-Au-
gusta Chronicle.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26
FOR THE BOYS.

The Mrs Jane Hopkins Clothes for youths and small
hovs lead the world In sizes they range from perfect t tor
the little gentleman aged 81 years the youth of 49, and prices
range from S. 20 for complete suit up $2o Our stock is
complete including goods and all OF the ne" S'yeS we
can fit any small boy in every stitch ne requires o
vest to overcoa including shoes and hat and make MIN LOOK
as we'll dressed as he would be just from the hands OF Ne"
York tailor.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26

FL One of the instructors in local
school told this story yesterday: Il
was trying to explain to my class in
French the method used in that Ian
guage to express the different degrees
of comparison. Now, then,' I said
let us take the adjective black. In
English we have it positive black, COM
parative blacker, superlative blacklist.
Then I proceeded to explain the differ
ence between the English and French
methods. Turning to one Of The boys
in my class I said: Now, Richard
how do we compare the adjective sick
in English, and how do the degrees OF
comparison appear in French?' Why
SIR said Richard, in English we would
say: Positive sick, comparatively sick
er, superlative dead! 1 need hardly
add that his French method has not
reached me yet."-Philadelphia record.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26
OUR SHOE TRADE.

Sometime ago we made mention of the fact that we had
received solid car load of Shoes Most people would have
thought that the supply would have been sufficient to last US
rnt;, next summer But it wasn't Our Shoe trade is twice
what It was at this time last year. and since the receipt OF the
d ferred to we have made several additional large or
ders Our present stock is large and complete 1t includes
all qualities and styles from fine to ordinary and eSpec' OA
gains in 900 pairs of ALFREDS BEsI at S125 anu wv
pairs of COTTON KINGS for ST. pair Shoes tor boys ana
misses range from 50 and IS cents for the lowest on up
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26
GENTLEMEN'S CLOTHING.

AT no time has our stock of Genemens Clothing been al
lowed to run so low as not leave wide OF choice IN
variety and quality But now that the busy season on and
we better understand the requirements of the trade our stock
s something to brag on Its like has before been seen
in Yorve and from the best information we nave OIL 'e
subject it be found elsewhere IN YORK county, we
have sole local control of the celebrated Strouse bros No
ing known all over the United States as being unequaeo III
oay style or finish Our stock into the thousands
Of dollars and whether the customer be long or Short thin OF
stout we can fit him in almost any pattern quality or price
that may suit his fancy.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26

81 Why cannot a deaf man be legally
convicted? Because it is not lawful to
convict a man without hearing.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26

ri; Whatever may be the custom and
law of a country. woman always gives
the tone to the morals.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26

AT Keep your word with child as
you would with a banker.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26

3&' Let not every pain send thee to the
doctor, every quarrel for the lawyer,
nor every thirst to the dram shop.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26
DRESS GOODS.

This department has been keeping us especially ousy o'
season. Since buyer returned from Ne" 1ork We law
made three large additional ORDERS and we are now
show line of Black Goods that will interest and astohSh M
the ladies of this territory We sure that no SUCH line haS
ever been seen in this section includes Melrose, Meroe
scian Pebble Serge Waterproof Serge and Satin soe Ar
mre Broad Cloths and Venetians on hand in coos Ou
new line of Cambria Embroderies is worthy OF especial me
ton and we desire also call attention to our beautiful A
poues in cream and black well as to Our new Iaffea eS
in solid coors and fancy Waist Patterns which are some
thing new and novel from Arnold Constable Co., New YORK.
These are now being sold for the first time on this market
b e d French flannel and the delicate colors in which they
are embroidered never fail to provoke admiration
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1901-10-26
J. M. HEATH & CO.,
Dry Goods Department.
Always At It.

e ROM what we have gathered of the history and trad
# tons of this market during comparatively Short but
- pleasant and satisfactory experience Yorkve we can
easily understand how many people have gathered the idea
local dry goods buy the bulk of their stocks during
annual visits north and that subsequent additions are
merely the of filling lines that may have run short
Such idea however, does begin the methods
prevailing establishment does it give hint OF the
immense of daily work that is required in the matter
of keeping up stock alone say nothing of the large purchas
es of new lines that are made every week The aggregate
amount of goods brought into store since our buyers
were last the northern markets. exceeds by many thousands
of dollars, the amount bought at that time.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
Western Maryland Railroad.

Taking effect Sept. 10 1901.
Trains leave Hillen station, BALTIC. as follows
4 81 q m-East mailfo N s. w, south auo south
west, Glyndon, Westminster New WindsoF
Union bridge, dechanlosUoss "A, tsiue tlldRe
6sgerstown,aad except Sunday, Williams-
porJs K h Il.
DAILY RxORPT SUNDAY
: % q. m.--Accom. Ior Gettysburg b q a
division, main line east OF Emory Grove
also u q Ii X.
% m-Main Line, Shippensburg, Freder.
lex, EmmitsburR and N eEW KIT Shenandoah
~ IL m-Accommodation for Gettysburg
points on & ID
20 m-Accommodation for Union Bridge
81 pm-ExpresE for York and ls :. a. DIV.
20 m-Express for pointson main line weaa
10 CHERRY Run, q y ana n q N ROADS
for points south.
o. 80 m-Accom. for Emory Grove.
10 n-Acoom or Union brlaxe
n.25 p. IN. Accom-. for Emory Grove.
SUNDAYS:
10 m-Accom for Union bridge Hanover
9 30 m-Accom for Union Bridge 20
% INSTRUMENTATION for Emory q rova
IL. 90 p M Accom-. for Emory Grove.
Ticket and baggage Office, III f. Ralto street
All trains stop at Union, Pennsylvania ave
fulton, Wslbrook, North avenue) stations.
}. ID. HOOD, q. NJ, b. ID. GRIsWoLD, q.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

A delightfully."- personal article. show
ing the new President as he rides ard
hunts and camps, will soon appear In
Tie Ladfcs' Hame 5oH,Nak. The writer
OF the article has known him intimately
travelled thousands Of miles with him
and seen him under conditions Of the
most varying nature He will tell how
the President fells trees on his own place,
and splits wood; how he is training his
children to love riding. swimming and
walking. and living outdoors. 1t will be
a close view of the Chief Executive in
the life he most enjoys.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

SECTION 13.--In all cases where the Corporation
has caused curbstones TO be laid along the foot
ways and the owners of property bounding there
on nave not paved the same it shall be the duty of
the City Commissioner To give 81 days notice
to the said owners TO have their pavements laid
with good hard bricks, and if the said owners
should neglect TO do so within the time specified
they shall be liable to penalty of $1,000 to be
recovered as in other cases.
SECTION IA The City Commission shall give
20 days notice to owners of all property binding
on which there are paved footways requiring the
paths TO have the same repaired in suitable
manner if they shalt neglect 10 do so within the
time specified they shall be liable to fine of five
dollars TO be recovered as in other cases.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
Notice to Creditors.

NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN. That tho sph-
~ scriber, OF Anne Arundel county has Oh
tanned from the Orphans court of Anne Arm
oel county, IN Maryland, letters testamentary
on the personal estate of GgORGE sTIt. M : -
iate OF Anne Arundel county, deceased-
All persons having claims against the DECEASED
are hereby warned to eX Eibit the same with The
vouchers thereof, to the subscriber on or before
THE 10th DAY OF NOVEMBER, 1901.
They may otherwise by law. ba excIudod
from all benefits of the said estate Ali nersons
immediate payment. " --'Ae
Given under my hand this 10th dav of mavs
1901. N"s Vi may
PHILIP THOMAS, Executor.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
Notice to Creditors.

NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN. that the Sub
IN scriber, of Anne Arundel County, has OBJ
tanned from the Orphans Court of Anne
Arundel County. in Maryland, letters testa-
FRANKLIN, late of Ammo Arundel County,
deceased. All persons having claims
against the deceased, are hereby warned TO
exhibit the same, with the vouchers, there
of, to the subscriber. on or before the
2sth DAY OF NOVEMBER, 1901.
They may otherwise, by law, be excluded
from all benefits of the said estate. All per-
sons indebted to said estate are requested to
make immediate payment.
Given under my hand this 28th day of
May, 1901.
J. WRIT RANDALL,
Executor.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

THE life story Of DR.. ID. X. Pearsons.
the Chicago philanthropist who has given
millions OF dollars to the smaller colleges
under conditions that have resulted in
bringing into the treasures OF those cell
leges more than as many millions from
other sources. is we'll told in the Novem-
Der Re0iesO ef RevieaOs by MIR. George
Perry Morris.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

For six scholarships recently award
ed by the Georgia school of technol-
ogy there were 500 applications. This
is accepted as evidence that the young
white men of the south are inclining
toward manual and mechanical work
as career. Georgia papers note this
change of sentiment with much salts
faction. Formerly there was preju-
dice against mechanical labor.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
FOR SALE.
TBUILDiNG LOTS e
Near Annapolis, on Bay Ridge Road

The undersigned win offer at private sale. sew
eral BUILDING LOTS fronting on the shell
road near Spa Branch Hill, about quarter of a
mile from Annapolis. These lott viii be sold to
suit purchaser. with depth of 80 feet, and at
a bargain T.Ieee 10 are desirable as resi-
dence only few minutes walk to the city.
For full particulars apply 70
w. ID. K. LEE, or
FRANK II. STOCKETT,
63m Annapolis Nd
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

The old idea that the body sometimes
needs powerful, drastic. purgative pill
has been exploded; for DR.. Kings New
Lie Pills, which are perfectly harmless.
gently stimulate liver and bowels to ex
pei poisonous matter. cleanse the system
and absolutely cure Constipation and
Sick Headache. Only Is cents at Field
meyer Bros. City Drug Store.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

In every state and territory prize
fights are now forbidden by law. Not
one of the fighters is a successful
star" In any theater, and nearly all
of them have lost money in the keep
ing of barrooms.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

ELEVEN OF Mcclure, Phillips g. Co. S
fall books are in their second edition or
better. They have recently announced
the sixth edition Ct "Tristram of Blent, .
Anthony Hopes new romance. and the
third of "The Westerners." by Stewart
Edward White"
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

For Annapolis, Mount Royal station -
IS 80 a IA. camden station, T. 20, tguas W
tI2 10, to 40 ,. M. ~ w d. n
m 50 IS m II 40, Il 80 ana = 50 pm Vi s.
For Winchester, Il 40 a In a. 40. t.Is+...
pm. w. - 30 @je,
For Hagerstown, ~ 90 m, Il IS rod m
For hIlieott CITY, and Mount AIRY Loon, D.
50 ISa m, II 20, ia So IS so, 20 50, III =, !, ,' S.
For Curtis Bay, 70 IS IN.
For Luray. Mount Royal Station &C.,.
Camden alton, - 40 y m I'D.
he Royal Blue Line for Philadelpbia ma
New York. puma aud
,a Local l.; sisepers Tor New York ready for oc,u
Ticket Offices. n. W. Cor. Caly,rt ,,., p.,..
more streets, 2Ol 5. Broadway, Mount ho,l
Station or Camden station. "O!a,
ID. b. MARTIN
Mgr. Ha.s Traffic
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
tAtFaTm House For Rent. haAi
Also Market Farms and Build
ing Lots For Sale.

The undersigned, owner, will rent the Farm
House and grounds of the same by the month,
on the farm situate on the shell road near the
city, adjoining the Davis and Combs property
Also will sell at private sale, Building
Lots fronting on the shell road-in any size
to suit purchasers per front foot. VIII also sell
the lots in the rear of the property suitable for
small truck farms, bids. The properly is
most eligible for cottage residences, being with
in a quarter of mile of the city limits with
advantage of reservoir water that passes in
front of the property. For further information
address,
lie. CABLING,
STA 1877 Argyle Avenue. Baltimore, Md.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

Coal magnates, remarks the Phila-
delphia Saturday Evening Post, CAT
now look with good-natured pity on
those of us who forget to buy coal
mines while they are going.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

If one of New York's big modern
hotels could be whisked TO the coun-
try and spread out in village forma-
tion, the result would be a model
proprietary town of about 5000 in,
habitants. I,
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

MINNESOTA has put in operation law
which sends to the peniientiary "lazy.
shrftless. worthless husbands" All that
now remains to establish justice is fer
some champion Of the rights Of men 10
provide for the punishment OF "lazy
shiitless, worthless wives"
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

THE Talmud says to the husband. ali
thy wife be short bend down and whisper
in her ear eli the wifes tongue be
long. the law leaves the husband to has
own discretion.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

IXIANTED-FIRST-CLA MARINE ENGINE
Wv AND BOILER CRAFTSMAN. A COM
petitive examination will De held at the Naval
Academy January TO- 1902 for a first. class marine
engine and boiler craftsman $500 per diem
For application and further information apply to
Md. n22
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

PROPOSALS will be received at the Bureau
1 of Navigation, Navy Department, Wash
ington, ID. c., until II O'Clock NJ, Wednesday,
December 4, 1901, and there publicly opened
Immediately thereafter for filling in at the U.
S. Naval Academy, Annapolis, Md Blank
forms of proposals, specifications and plans
will be furnished on application to the Bureau
of Navigation Navy Department, Washington,
ID. c., or at the U. ). Naval Academy, Annapo-
lis. Md. A. ). CRUWNINSHIELD, CHEF Of
Bureau. November Io. 1901. MIG
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

The line must be drawn somewhere.
The daring of some of these snapshot
artists will lead them to try to get
pictures of eminent statesmen in theit
golf clothes.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

Tue native press of Japan urges the
wisdsm OF reducing the number Of Pro-
testant missionaries there 10 per cent
Why not introduce few Bulgarian bri-
gands
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

Two members OF the New York Stock
Exchange who were on their way to the
horse show, appeared "on charge" in
silk hats and ffock coats. They were
seiz.d by fellow members and made TO
trot, pace. rack and canter and were then
awarded ribbons by mock ring COM
miltee.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
FOR SALE or TO LEASE.
a Water Front Property. .
One of the most valuable
Wharf Properties

I'M -A-NNAROLIS HARBOR ;
Situated on deep water in the Basin about 80
feet front and running back about 200 fl, to
Compromise street. and belonging to the AN
NAPOLIS CANNING CO. This is a rare OPP
POI tunity to purchase at reasonable price, a
deep water wharf property with BrdCR
Building of present usefulness and of
great prospective value due to the Govern
ment's gradual absorption on the available
water frontage.
For full information, price, &c, inquire of
J. BUCHANAN HENRY,
o7sy For Owner, Hotel Maryland.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

ORDERED this 7th day of November.
nineteen hundred and one, by the Orphans
Court for Anne Arundel County, Maryland, that
the sale made by j. Writ Randall, Executor OF
the Last W Ill and Testament of ANNE FRANK
LIN, deceased, under the authority and in ac-
cordance with the directions OF said last Will
and testament, ana reported to this Court, be
ratified and contr ned, unless cause TO the con-
tTary thereof b. shown on or before the
9TH DAY OF DECEMBER NEXT.
Pyo1ded copy of this Order be inserted In
some newspaper published in the City of An
napolis, once IN each of three successive
weeks before the said 7th day of December
next.
rhe report states the amount of sales to be
$5,U50.
ALFRED IJAMS, G. J.
HENRY WOODWARD, A. j.
True Copy Test =
LUTHER A. PALMER,
Register of Wills for Anne Arundel County
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
1901 FALL SCHEDULE.
In effect after september end, 1901.
TIE STEAMER
EN- MA Es.s!s=.E GTIFS

win leave Pier l6 Light street b .lti,or. g..
Annapolis and " est hiyvr, MONDAYS Na SS'
urdays ut a. IN. N''
Leave Annapolis for River Iandia at1oo nm
Returning, leave Annapolis Cor galtiuo,, A..
Gays, Wednesdays and t-iuays nj 4 s s,1n'
m; saturdays at 3 y. m. w b
-
MONDAYS and FRlDAAa vin extarsoa -.
Rhode hiYer
MONDAYS and WEDNE - c,,.,,..
10 South
~ Steamer leaves West River A L3oon.
a. IN. ~ 4''oV
For further information, applv IN Aoo,,.
at WhRrves, or to Ns0aH
ToLCHEsTER CoMPANYg
Pier No. Is Light St., Baltiu.or, a.,
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
ATTENTION

Is called to property owners and corporations to
sections ID and Ia of the City Code in regard to
laying and relaying pLyements The City Com
missioner is ordered to notice and II the law
il not complied with within the time specified by
the Code / will at once proceed in each and every
case enforce the penalty for the violation of the
same.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
MOONS PHASES.

A man has just gone to all in Wash
ington for having four wives. Most men
find it more than they can do TO pay the
bills OF ore.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29

A western husband has sued his wife
for alimony. Thus the emancipat ion
of woman progresses.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1901-11-29
ORDER NISI.

In the matter of the Sale of the Mortgaged Real
Estate of RACHEL GU cen, RICHARD
BADEN, Trustee.
In the Circuit Court for Anne Arundel County
No. 1881 Equity.
ORDERED, this 9th day of November, 1901
That the sale of the property mentioned in
these proceedings made and reported by James
M. Munroe, Attorney named i'll the mortgage
filed in this case be ratified and confirmed, unless
cause to the contrary thereof, be shown on or
before
THE 9Th DAY OF DECEMBER, NEXT.
PROVIDED, a copy of this order be inserted
in some newspaper published in Anne Arun-
del county, once in each of three successive
weeks before the said 9Th day of December.
next
The report states the amount of sales to be
$625 90.
GEO. WELLS, Clerk.
True Copy, Test
GEO. WELLS Clerk