The Butte inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1901-1912, 1901-10-01
JOKE ON NEWLY MARRIED MAN
Groom Takes Train to Meet His
Better Half But Fails in His
Eflorts-Given q Re-
ception. I'D

IrleHOS, ana l Ielt sorry Tor the young
people. had an experience myself when
I had not been married very long that
always makes me want to get out and
help the parties who have posters on
their trunks and travel under a cloud Of
rice. The joke was not on me until my
honeymoon was over some time. but
when it came it made an impression on
me that I don't forget.
when I decided that I could not get
along any longer without some one to
help me spend my income I was doing a
fairly good business in a little town in
central Illinois. OF course the eventful
day arrived when we were made one and
all that, the journey after the ceremony
passed without special incident and l
was back at my store before I could
hardly realize that a great change in my
way of living had taken place. After we
had been married about two months my
wife took trip back to Wisconsin to
see her mother. She was not gone long,
and when received message one fine
morning saying she was on her way
down from Chicago I concluded that it
road to meet her.
Accordingly I decked myself in my
Sunday clothes and took the north bound
train, intending to meet my wife when
the passenger I was on switched to pass
the SOuthbOund train. 1t was about noon
when I got on the train and was grow
ing hungry, so I decided to take some
lunch on the train. The service was not
quite as rapid on the dining car as I was
accustomed to in the little restaurant
at home where the meal was already on
the table when I went in. In conse-
quen of this saw the waiter bringing
the important part Of my order just
about the time we were to meet the
train on which my wife was speeding
towards home. I spoke to the trainmen
about the purpose l had of changing TO
the other train when we met it, and
they thought I could make it all right,
and I started in on the meal before me.
The southbound train was either a little
ahead of time or we were little behind,
for when we got into the station wher>
we We're to pass the other train was on
the switch, and before I could get up
from the table and make my way from
the car the other train was out on the
main track and whizzing down the line.
My wife had passed me and would be
at home in little more than an hour,
While l was standing on the platform OF
the little town thinking it over
There was nothing to do but make
the best of bad mess, and so I began
to stroll around and kill time. There
would not be another train into the sta
ton going the way I wanted to travel
until night. worried along until nearly
midnight, and then heard the welcome
sound of the approaching train. was
on hand that time and grabbed hold of
one of the car ratings almost before the
train came to a standstill. Once aboard,
I hunted up comfortable seat and tried
to think up an apology to make to the
lady who was waiting for me at the
other end of the line. I must have been
thinking hard. for when came to myself
again I was conscious that I had been
asleep, and in minute more was also
conscious of the fact that I was away
by my home station. The night train
was serving me as poorly as the day one.
and was disguised with myself when I
realized that I must go to the next sta
ton and wait there until the next day
before could get home. However, that
was the way things stood, and when W
rolled into the next town hustled Off
the train and went to bed in a hotel.
The next day got up and waited
around until nearly noon for the dav
train. boarded it all right and pulled
into my home station just "a hours after
l had left 1t to take trip that I did
not expect would consume more than
three hours at the most. And such a
homecoming I never experienced before
nor since. If it had been the governor
OF the state, who had come in on that
train the turnout of the people could
not have been greater. It seemed to
me as I jumped to the platform that
the whole village had come out to greet
me. The band and the military company
We're at the head of the ranks. Then
came the mayor and aldermen. Behind
them was a long line Of citizens. AS
came into view the band began to play
and I was ushered to a carriage. in
which the city officials were seated.
Banners We're strung across the streets
announcing that 'Our worthy towns
man, James Southy." had returned from
a long journey and that a public re-
ception would be held at the town hall
in his honor"
1T was useless to object to all this RI
diculous ceremony. The joke was on
me, and had to take it and do the best
I could. All this time, mind you, had
seen nothing of my wife who,, as ex-
pected. would be down at every train
to meet me. I was escorted into the
town hall and given a seat on the plat
form. The mayor announced that the
meeting was called in my honor in view
of the long journey had taken. and
was called upon to make a speech and
tell about the things had seen in my
travels. Now, II there is one thing in
this world I can't do it is to make a
speech, but I had to get out in front
of the people and do the best I could.
While I was out on the platform
caught sight Of my wife down in the
audience. She was sitting between two
of her friends, who had evidently. been
appointed to guard her and see that she
did not break away and spoil the joke.
I felt as II could make much better
talk to her If were not surrounded by
SO many people, but the order Of the
day had to go. told my friends that
I was pleased to see such demonstra-