Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1901-07-19
!. LINTON WINS:
Nsss Touths from a Country
zI0W learn How Base Ball
Should Be RGNel.

Uvsf iii the peaceful valley that
lies along the shores OF Alkali Like
probably called q lake because it was
possibly sucl, in prehistoric times be4i
fore q branch Of the Aryan race sets:|
tied In the region there is 4 peaceful
hamlet known as Napoleon. AS just
said, the lake is supposed to have once
been fun; of water: but the tribe:
that settled there vas and is noted
for its teetotal principles and its
ability to consume large quantities Of
aqua pura, aAd many scientists have
come to the conclusion that there is q
close relation between the settleaept
of the region aud the gradual drying
up OF the lake,
However, this question has little to
do with the subject to which this art
Iicle Is devoted
+ We have conveyed the inforaaation
that the metropolis Of the Alkali
Lake region is named Napoleon,
Scholars who have carefully read the
almanac for the birthdays of great
men are aware that once upon time
great conquerer bore the same name
with the town. In fact, it mas been
pretty well demonstrated that when
Uncfe Sam agreed to buy the Louis
lana tefrltery a, part Of the bargain
was that said conlnerer should assume
the name Of the aforesaid noted me-
tropolis, his name previously having
been. Bonaparte.
Later-day students who have given
the subject careful thought ..haye
noted the correlation between the
name and the principles that animate
the inlabitants of the place. Like
Bonaparte, they are aggressive and
waraike. They are Of an aspiring
disposition, and they, believe that
along almost any line they are able to
count coo" on the neighboriGg peo-
| pies, Sometimes it is the matter of
legislative or judicial district politics
that fires their ambition and calls
their belligerency into play. Again,
/ they direct their warlike energies to
| the destruction Of the gopher tribe.
Sometimes the festive flea, with
which their country abounds, is the
object of attack.
1t is not Strange or remarkable,
therefore. that people possessing such
a bold and heroic spirit should believe
themselves strong enough to over
throw neighboring tribe who dwell
In the elysian fields that lie along the
banks Of q majestic and pellucid stream
known as Reayer River. 1--WE don't
know just what "pellucid" means; but
we've seen the word somewhere, and
it sounds all right.] However, as that
other great historian, Macauley, would
remark, "That's neither here nor
there"
Having made up what they call
their minds toa campaign Of conquest,
1t Nas not long until thelegions Of the
Bonapartites were ON the march to
the land Of the Lintonites, the mighty
tribe that dwell along the banks OF
the Beaver River aforesaid.
Now. the invaders came not with
trumpet and drum, with sword and
musket They had heard that the
LiHtonites were mighty in a heroic
game known as base bali; that they
had grown proud and naughty over
their great success, and that they had
assumed to themselves the title Of
Champions Of Winchester School Dis
trjet.
To tail in the dust the banner and
the pride Of the said champions was
the resolve Of the tribe Of the Napo.
leonites, and bringing to their aid
their ally, aprince of Ethiopia, onward
they came.
The c0ntending tribes met on a
field near the banks Of the mighty riy-
er that flows nigh unto the town that
was named for q seven-f foot lawyer and
the battle began. Early in the COM
had nagght to fear from the Aryan
men ct Napoleon, but the charge led
by the Ethiopian prince placed them
In atqanger. The. LintOnitess strove
nightly and swung their war-cluba
with desperation. For while ii
seemed that the efforts of two Of the
leaders Of the opposing host must pre-
vail over the men OF Beaver. One was
the Ethiopian chief and the other was
QaYcasiap Noble man. The former
piled his club with great yigor during
the afternoon, and the. latter did like.