The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1901-11-29
AN APPEAL TO AGUTNALDO.

AN AHPEAL ~ ACOINALDO.
At the request of a prominent
minister of this county we republsh
the following appeal to Aguinaldo.
While written in a jocular vein it con-
tains much food for earnest thought.
The editor of the Pocahontas Sun,
published somewhere in Kansas,
moulds whole lot oftruth in small
wad when he indites the following
open letter to the leader of the Philip.
pines patriots: "Agui, you do not
know what a good thing you are
missing by not wanting to become a
citizen of this grand country of ours.
There is nothing else like it under the
sun. You ought to send a delegation
over here to see us-this land of the
free; this land of the churches and
100000 licensed saloons, Bibles,
forts, guns and houses of prayer, the
millionaires andpaupers, theologians
and thieves, ibertines and liars,
Christians and chain-gangs, poll
ticians and poverty, school and
prisons, scalawags, trusts and
tramps, virtue and vice,
"a land where we make bologna of
dogs and canned beef Of sick COWS
and old mules and horses and corpses
of people who eat it; where we put
men in jail for not having means of
support and on a rock pile if he has
no job; where we have a Congress of
400 men to make laws and a Supreme
Court of 9 men to set them aside;
where good whisky makes bad men
and bad men make good whisky;
where newspapers are paid for sup
pressing the truth and made rich for
telling a lie; where professors draw
their convictions and salaries from
the same source; where preachers are
paid from 81, 900 to $4,000 a year
tododge Satan and tickle the ears of
the wealthy.
"Where business consists in getting
property in any way that will not
land you in the penitentiary; where
trusts hold you up and poverty holds
you down; where men vote for what
they do not want for fear they will
get what they want by voting for it;
where women wear false hair and
men dock their horses tails; where
men vote for a thing one day and
swear about it the other 1854 days in
the year; where we have prayers on
the floor of the National Capitoland
whisky in the basement; where we
spend $4,000 to bury a Congressman
and $40 to put man away when he
is poor; where the government pays
the army officers widow SIS, 900 and
the poor private who faced the shell
$144, with insinuations that he is a
Government pauper and a burden be-
cause he lives.
"Where to be virtuous is to be lone
some and to be honest is to be a
crank; where we sit on the safety
valve of conscience and pull wide
open the throttle of energy; where
gold is worshiped and God isused as
a wastebasket for our better
thoughts and good resolutions;
where we pay SIS for a dog and Is
cents a dozen to poor woman for
making shirts; where we teach the
untutored Indian the way to eternal
life and kill him with bad booze;
where we put a man in prison for
stealing a loaf of bread and in Con-
gress for stealing a bank or a rail-
road; where check-books and sins
walk in broad daylight, justice is
asleep, crime runs amuck, corruption
permeates our social fabric and Satan
laughs at every corner. Come to us,
Agui! We have the grandest aggre-
CATION Of good things, soft things
and hard things of all sizes, varieties
and co1ors ever exhibited under one
big tent. Send your delegation and
we will prove all these assertions for
truths"