davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
CHEAP WIT SOMETIMES PAYS.
True Stories of Men who owe Their
Success Largely TO Puns They
Have Perpetratcd.


If any man wants people nowadays
TO look around at him with sneer
and then a contemptuous, pitying
smile, let him make pun in COM
pany. After ne has launched the pun
he will notice silence settling down
over the company like a heavy fog.
Then some one in cold, harsh voice
will speak up and say, "A pun is the
lowest form of wit" That is always
considered n squelcher for punster,
and after it has been administered
the incident is considered closed. But
while punning has almost become 8
lost art it should not be. Even in our
own times there are many instances
where skillful pun made at the
right moment has proved exceedingly
profitable, says the Chicago Tribune,
A worthy and witty rector, who
died some years ago in the west OF
England, obtained the enviable liv.
ing he enjoyed by pun. The living
was worth $4,000 q year, and natu-
rally at the death of the rector who
held it there were numerous appli-
cants for the living. There was a
young curate who, because of his
poverty, added to his income as GU
rate of the church by acting as tutor
to the son of the earl who was patron
of the living just made vacant by the
death of the rector.
The rectors and curates who had
come to the funeral of their deceased
brother, and all of whom had hopes
OF securing the living he had left
vacant, wept inconsolabW.
"Why," said the earl, somewhat
puzzled. "Of course they should feel
a proper amount of grief, but / do
not understand why they should weep
so frenziedly for the dead"
The young curate tutor, who was
standing by, said: "Nay, my lord, it
is not for the dead they weep. 1t is
for the living"
The earl was so impressed by the
curate's wit that he shortly after
wards presented him with the iving.
An American manufacturer who
has 5000 men in his employ, was
badly in need Of a reliable manager
to supervise some government work
of secret character, and was anX-
ious to procure some one who had
both skill and discretion. While pom
dering the subject one of his fore
men, who was reputed to be a man
of uncommon ability came in to dis
cuss matter of business. Before
leaving his employer the foreman had
occasion to attach his autograph,
Seymore Driscoll, to business docu-
ment. Observing the uncommon
name, the employer asked: "Why did
they give you such an uncommon
Christian name, Driscoll?"
"Because," answered the foreman,
81 can see more and say less than any
other member of my family"
The employer was so delighted and
diverted by this epigrammatic explain
alton that he then and there called
the man back and offered him the
post Of manager, which he fulfilled
to the utmost satisfaction of all con-
cerned Five years later the former
foreman was taken into partnership
with his erstwhile employer, and is
now drawing 100000 year as his
shore of the profits.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
SAVANNAH, HARDIN COUNTY,
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

The king of Portugal is seeking 1.
decrease his weight by the constant
playing of tennis, and recently t)ok
part in a tournament at Cascaes.
The late Baron Fitzgerald, an Irish
Judge, who was on the bench for 20
years, never once pronounced a cap.
ital sentence, and Lord Morris, wbc
sat for % years, never hanged Grim.
inal.
Two thousand of the 10000 books on
the French revolution which have been
presented to the Bibliotheque Nation.
ale by the British museum will be kept
there. The remaining $4,000 will be
sent to the Biblotheque Sevigne.
james ID. Smillie, the artist, has
given to the New York public library
a collection of 923 groups of steel en-
cravings, chiefly the work of his fa-
ther, the late James Smillie. All are
"engravers' proofs" and accordingly
rare.
Admiral Dewey's ancestors lived in
the old town of Lebanon, Conn.,, well
known as the home of iona than Trum-
bun and his son, the artist, and in 100
Josiah Dewey bought from Oneco, son
of the great Mohegan chief, Uncas,
what is yet known thereabouts as the
Five Mile Purchase.
The postmaster general of Great
Britain, the marquis of Londonderry,
is essentially man of method, stick
Ter for neatness and correctitude.
Everything is in its proper place.
There is no searching for pens, book
cutter or letter weight; all are within
reach. His lordship is voracious
newspaper reader.
Alexander William Kinglake, author
of "Eothen" and "History of the War
in the Crimea," was no admirer of the
daily press, even in early days. Once,
looking at old Mr.. Nilliers, then father
of the commons, he remarked with his
meditatiye drawl "a clever man, q
very clever man, before he softened his
brain by studying the newspapers"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
Dogs on outnost Duty.

The employment of dogs on outpost
duty in South Africa will be watched
with much interest. Among the an.
clients dogs were trained in consid'
cradle numbers for the purposes Of
war, and mention is made of them
by Plutarch, Pliny and other writer's.
The Romans kept dogs in towers on
Notifications in order that no enemy
should approach unobservcd, while
the Knights of st. John employed them
on picket duty, and patrols were al
ways accompanied by them. The mas
tiffs of the Knights of Rhodes knew a
Turk from a Christian by the smell.
Then there is the spaniel which saved
the Dutch republic by waking Will
liam the Silent during the night at
tack on Mons. Many nations are
training dogs, especially Germany,
which has devoted nearly 20 years to
training and experimenting, and EN-.
ploys them as sentries and to search
for the wounded London Chronicle,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
BRAVE LITTLE JAP.
Tie Performed One of the Most Thrill.
ing Deeds of UnseIfsh Hcroism
Ever Recorded.

All the war correspondents are one
n their enthusiastic praise of the
Jap as a soldier, especially in the war
with China. Thomas Il. Millard re-
Gently related thrilling anecdote re-
garding the bravery Of the japanese.
The force sent to relieve the Chris
tians who were being besieged in Pc
king had arrived, and it developed on
the Japanese contingent to blow in
q certain gate. The artillery did some
damage, but the breach was not suf-
ficient TO admit of charge upon the
enemy. These massive wooden gates,
which are sunk deep in the thick 12-
foot high walls, are approached by
means of little bridge across the
moat that encircles the city. The Jap
general decided that breach would
have to be effected by means of dyna-
mite. For this dangerous mission he
called for volunteers. A little corporal
about four feet six inches in height
was picked out. AS with utter uncon-
cern he marched briskly over the
bridge the enemy potted at him from
the top of the wall until he was out
of sight in the recess occupied by the
gate. Lighting the fuse, he quickly
made his way back to his own lines
without sustaining wound. No soon
er had he gotten out of the way than
small door set in the large gate was
cautiously opened and an almond-eyed
face peered out. With his sandaled
| foot the Chinaman stamped out the
| lighted fuse. Then he went back and
closed the door.
Dcfying almost certain death, the
little corporal bravely started out
again, and once more lit the fuse.
On the way back he was hit on the
shoulder and stumbled to the ground.
Then he picked himself up and man
| aged to reach safety. Once more,
however, the foxy Chinaman was too
| quick for the slow fuse Then the
little corporal went pattering back to
the half demolished gate, lit the fuse,
drew his short bayonet-sword and
waited. There was a moment of
breathless suspense, then with a
frightful roar the old gate was blown
to the heavens, and with 1t went the
poor little corporal. 1t is one thing
to risk ones life in the heat of battle,
but quite another to face the certain
and horrible death from which this
subject of the mikado never finched.
st. Louis Globs-Democrat.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
THIS CAT LIKES WATER.
Pennsylvania Pussy Defies Feline
Tradition by Taking n Bath
Whenever Possible.

The well-known aversion of the
feline race for water has an odd ex-
ception in the pet of a family on
Friends avenue, above Cooper street,
Camden, Pa. This puss is so fond of
playing in water that it is sometimes
difficult to keep it out of the way. One
of the favorite pastimes of this funny
little cat is to jump on the kitchen
sink when the water is running from
the spigots and bat at the stream
with its paws. Sometimes it gets in
the way and must be pushed down,
but at the first opportunity it is back
again, seeming to find great sport in
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
PLAYING IN THE WATER.

watching the spray it makes with its
paws. A day or two ago this am
phibious pussy came upon tub partly
filled with water in the back yard,
and in it jumped, frollicking about
with the utmost glee. The owners of
the cat can only account for its strange
conduct by the fact that when it was
very young it fell into tub of water,
and finding it rather pleasant, grew to
lita n
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16

the geography of the Smoky city, and
it wasn't very long before he knew
it well enough so that he could move
up out of the cellar into telegraph
office. Only n messenger boy, TO be
sure, but he could hardly have been
the lazy kind we generally read about
or the manager would not have taken
fancy to him and begun to teach
him telegraphy within a month.
That was about As years ago and
the dingy little Office where he was
working at two dollars and a half
week belonged to the Atlantic & Ohio
Telegraph company. Andrew Carne-
gle spent all his spare time in prac-
ticing telegraphy, and when he could
do as well as the operator at the key
(Which was surprisingly soon, by the
way) he took a place in the telegraph
service of the Pennsylvania railroad,
then a comparatively humble system,
boasting only single track lines.
Here he suggested a method of train
dispatching that increased the ca
pacity of the road and shortly after
this Thomas A. Scott, whose remark
able career in railroad management
was just beginning, took notice of that
bright young operator and made him
his private secretary. When Mr.. Scott
was promoted to his vice presidency
of the Pennsylvania road, Carnegie
became a division superintendent.
Some of his savings were success
fully invested in oil lands and in the
manufacture of sleeping cars, and
now he began to accumulate money.
The next door that opened to him, or
rather that he opened by being boy
who did, was the opportunity to estab-
lish the steel works to whicn Edgar
Thompson, then president Of the Penn
sylvania, gave his name and much OF
the capital. Carnegie's ability showed
itself at once in building up the NAM
moth industry which finally became
the largest enterprise of its kind in
the world. The great factories found
ed by him, or founded by others and
absorbed by him, are scattered
through the district of which Pitts
burgh is the center and were all finally
united under the one corporate own
ership, the Carnegie Steel company,
which Mr.. Carnegie has recently sold
TO the great combination known as
the United States Steel company. Dur
ing his active years his profits rolled
up at rate that no manufacturer ever
equaled before. His business was no-
only splendidly managed, but was aid
ed by great natural advantages as we'll
as all the forces of invention. To-day
he is multimillionalre, retired from
business, and scarcely month passes
without the announcement of a mag
nificent gift offered some good cause
by Andrew Carnegie. lie has hand
some house in New York, although Of
late years he has spent most OF his
time at his beautiful castle in Scot
land, and his own key to the problems
he has met through life is engraved
above the mantel Of his library:
| 'He that cannot reason Is fool,
| he that will not blgot.
| lie then does not slave"
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
STEPPED UP, NOR DOWN.
Wonderful Career OF Andrew Car
heEic Teaches a Lesson Which
No hoy Should Ever FORGET.

When Andrew Carnegie was ten
years old he left his native Scotch
town of Dumferline and came alone
to America. Reaching New York with
one sovereign in his pocket he walked
the streets for days trying to get
work, and at last went to Pittsburgh,
where he found chance to fire small
stationary engine in factory cellar.
What do you suppose he thought
about, down in that cellar? About the
libraries he was going to give away
or the gifts to universities he intend
ed to make one of these fine days?
My idea, says writer in the Little
Chronicle, is that he thought about
firing that engine and did it with al
his might until working hours were
over. Then he went out and studied
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16

The manners of Paris to-day are
said to be those of London to-mor-
row. But in one particular we may
hope that the custom of Partisan
theatergoers will not be imported
The emphatic and instantaneous man.
ner in which the contemporary
Frenchman seizes his hat when the
curtain falls and wears it between the
acts, talking the while to his woman
kind, is restless and odd enough, one
may hope, to evade imitation. Whence
the habit comes no man quite knows
A quarter 'of century ago the
Frenchman blushed when he saw the
Englishman enter club smoking
room with his hat on. Some people
say that this time the FRENCH have
taken hint from the English, and
given it an accent of exaggeration.--
London Chronicle
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
A REMARKABLE GROVE.
Strange Trees That Hedge the beach
at Wildwood on the New
New Jersey Coast.

NlluWood, tne resort on the Jersey
coast where the ceremony of casting
flowers upon the sea on Decoration
day in memory of naval herors was
inaugurated, has good reason for
its name. 1t is located upon al; island
which is separated from the main
land by Grassy sound. For about
two miles grove of trees, perhaps
the most remarkable in the world,
fringes the sound. The place takes
its name from the trees, which have
been shriveled and distorted into all
kinds of fantastic shapes by the gales
which have swept over it from the
Atlantic for centuries. The coast is
completely exposed to the full sweep
of the southeast and northeast
storms, which in the winter rage for
several days at time, says the Phila'
delphia Record.
Some of the trunks of the trees
have twisted into numerals, letters OF
the alphabet and weird forms, which
give the grove the reputation of be.
ing haunted among some of the negro
servants and ignorant white people
who live in the locality.
One tree, which must be fully sc
years old, has been bent over until ii
forms the figure eight, looking at it
from one side, while from another
point of view it is n perfect oval.
From the lower left-hand corner pro.
jects branch which startlingly re.
sembles snakes head with the
tongue sticking out.
Two of the largest trees started to
grow up from the ground; then
changed their minds and bent down
ward, shaping their trunks into the
form of the letter w. Still another
tree has grown in the form of the
letter n, two trunks starting from
the same root below ground, and a
third growing IRON one to the other
in diagonal direction. Another con-
sists Of two trunks running straight
up and parallel to each other. AT no
less than five different points
branches or stubs have grown from
one trunk into the other, forming q
sort Of natural ladder for distance
Of thirty feet from the ground.
The warm southeasters have
brought nourishment to Wildwood
and vines and plants grow luxu
riantly. Some of the grapevines are
of mammoth size, and trailing along
the ground, have run mp into the
trees and expanded until they seem
like immense boa-constrictors. Even
the upper branches of the trees have
been twisted into curious shapes, and
number have been cut out in the
form of different articles. Three OF
them are almost exactly the shape OF
triangle, harp and pitcner.
Tn walking through the grove one
can scarcely find tree which has not
some odd form about it. A large
holly can be seen which really con-
sists of two trunks twisted about
each other. Each trunk is fully a
foot in thickness, and it is supposed
that when young two slips were
blown around in this way ana have
gradually grown together. The spiral
separation can be traced from the
roots fully 40 feet from the ground
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
To Back n Horse.

The best way to back a horse is by
tugging at the reins. We are aware
that the usually accepted way of back
ing one involves a transaction with a
bookmaker; this is the better way,
but it is not the best way, by long
wav.=Ally Sloper.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
Divers Find Rare statuary.

A number of exceedingly valuable
Greek statues have been found by O
party of sponge divers off the Island
Anticythera. Evidently a ship carry
ing art treasures from Athens to
Rome during the erst century foun-
dared there.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
Oyertnxed.

The Benedict-Do you think bach.
elors should be taxed?
The Bachelor-No. They are taxed
enough in having to listen to the
tales of woe from their married
friends.-Chicago Daily News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16

Hotel Proprietor-Colonel, these
four gentlemen saw the sea serpent
on Saturday.
The Colonel-Indeed? Gentlemen,
let's go inside and have something
Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1901-08-16
Anti-Fnt Fare.

Mr.. Heavyweight-Do you think the
mountain air will tend to reduce my
weightf
Physician-No, but the mountain
hotels will.-Judge.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
OLD lABOLITIONIST
Had His Name On An Entry in
aJustiee Court In Stark
| County.

DR.. Sylvester Koontz, Of Roanoke,
has valuable relic In the form of an
autograph of John Brown, whose hatred
of the institution of slavery cost him
his life, says the Wabash, Ind, Plain
Dealer. The autograph is an old jus,
tice's docket kept by DR.. KoOntz's
father, Baltzer Koontz, In Stark county,
O., in 1920. The record shows civil
proceedings for $40 due on note,
David Henline suing Abraham Shepler.
John Brown, of Ossawatomie, was re-
plevin bail for Shepler, the entry being
on slip of paper fastened to the leaf
in the record. It Is all in Brown 8
handwriting and reads as follows:
"You may take me for security for the
note that Dan Henline left with you
against A. Shepler. I feel satisfied.
This the 14th day of January. 1920.
JOHN BROWN"
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
PROPOSED A WEEK
AFTER WIFE'S DEATH
Ohio Man Now Being Sued For
Breach Of Promise--Woman
Wants SIS, 900,

Bowling Green, July 26-Jennie Dray-
ton is plaintiff in suit for damages,
filed in the common pleas court here.
She charges William Whitson with
breach of promise and wants $4,000.
She alleges that she was at the defen.
dant's home, and that he proposed mar.
riage to her on August -, 1900. seven
days after his wife died. The plaintiff
states that Whitson's proposition was
at first rejected, but William was per-
sistent, had a winning way, and made
such earnest protestations Of his un.
dying affection that she agreed to
marry him as soon as he had mourned
his dead wife sufficiently long. She
thinks 1t Is about time he married her,
but William doesn't see 1t that way
now, hence the suit.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
CHARGE OF ASSAULT
Preferred Against Ravenna
Man by Young Akron
Woman,

Ravenna, o., July 27.-Violet Gala
man, an Akron woman, has caused the
arrest Of Joe Hart here on the charge
of attempted rape. She says she was
walking west on Main street Sunday
evening about dark and when near the
Catholic church she was accosted By
Hart. She refused to answer any Of
his questions and kept on walking
away, but he followed her. and when
near the G. G. p. track laid hold of hef
and tried to drag her behind the de,
pot. She screamed and he put his
hand over her mouth and handled her
very roughly, striking and bruising
her. Her cries brought assistance and
Hart was held until an officer arrived
and arrested him. He had hearing
before the mayor Monday morning
and was bound over to court. His
bond was fixed at $500, which he was
unable to give, and now is behind the
bars,
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
Attacked by Blue Racer.

Cardington, o., July 2G.-B. M
Weartherby. while assisting Frank
Myers and Clayton James to harvest
hay yesterday, had fearful experience
with blue racer snake. He was cross
ing a pasture lot on the Susan Briggs
farm when he was attacked by the
snake, which wound around his body
three times. In attempting to get q
stick he fell. as his lower limbs were
completely fastened. He called for
help and James ran to his assistance
James drew his knife from his pocket
and cut the snake In two. Weatherby
had tainted before James arrived. The
snake measured seven fet and seven
inches.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
SUCCEEDED BY pATTISON.
Charlse P. DonneIly Resigns Two
Democratic Chairmanships In
Philadelphia.

Philadelphia, July 27.-Charles p.
Donuelly. local Democratic leader.
has resigned as chairman of the city
committee and as chairman of the
committee on organization. Robert
e. Pattison WAS chosen to fill both
positions. The action Of Mr.. Donnelly
wes q surprise to local Democrats.
p. J. McManus. who represents the
ward in which Ex-Governor Pattison
resides, nominated Mr.. Pattison to
succeed the retiring chairman. and he
was elected. A minute regretting Mr..
Donnelly's resignation and pronounc-
ing him as the most able chairman
that has ever presided over this COM
mittee. was adopted.
Pattison accepted. a.ks
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
GAVE LITERALLY.
Colum biana Woman Donates
Some Money and Land
to q Church..

Columbus, July ga surprise was
sprung at the Presbyterian church here
when Rev. r. E. Porter announced that
Mrs. Caroline Deemer had offered 10
give the church $1,000 toward the
erection of parsonage. Her son. the
late j. F. Deemer, was member Of
this church and Mrs. Deemer, makes
the donation to his memory. Besides
this contribution Mrs. Deemer offers
q site for a parsonage on Elm street
or 5000 to be used in the purchase or
a site. The session of the church held
a meeting when the donation was ac-
cepted and plans will Immediately be
prepared for the building of a parson-
age. Other liberal contributions have
been offered providing a certain site
is selected and indications are that o
$1,000 parsonage will soon be built,
in good location. by few friends OF
the society.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-07-30
FEDERAL PRISONERS
Will Be Confined in the Indus
trial School at Lam
caster.

Lancaster, o.. July 27.-Attorney
General Knox, of Washington, d. O..
yesterday notified Superintendent G. ID.
Hilles, of the Boys Industrial school.
that the department had designated
this reformatory as a place of confire-
ment for boys convicted of violating
the federal laws in Ohio. The govern
ment will pay the state 81 week for
each boy while at the institution, and
upon the expiration of his term will
give him a suit of clothes, IS, and
transportation to the place Of convic-
ton.