The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-12-07
ALONG THE SKIRM ST LINE.

Look here. > said the crusty man,
what do yoa mean, you boy there, by
leaving all the windows wide open like
this? Don't you know folks are liable
to catch coldg
s'Tafnt dat, sub" meekly answered the
janitor. 'Dey done been washed, dat's
all. Deys' shut. all right"
Some people pride themselves on being
original and cynical, when there is moth
ing the matter with them but original sin.
What would you say was the crucial
point of married life?'
we'll. I think it is the point where
a woman stops calling her husband Dear
est and begins to call him Dear ne! .
There is apt to be flaw in our own
successes. but there is none whatever in
the comfort we get out Of the mistakes
that other people make
Yes" said the clubwoman, 4 do not
approve of women being shut up IN
the home all the time It prevents their
development and Injuries their health
Ten years later the lady was in sana-
forum with nervous prostration, while
her grandmother. aged eighty-fye, was
still moving about, as clipper as ever
and doing the family cooking
The smokeIess stove is said to be the
latest invention, but if there really is
such a thing most men will refuse to be
Iieve that they did not dream it
IT'S always best not to tell all you
know, my uncle used to say
Maybe. but if that advice were uni
versaIIy followed good many people
would have to choose between doing
some lively stunts for more information
and being dumb
| Your job" said the head burglar
| shows no originality You should put
| some sparkle into your work.
And that was the inside history of the
/ great diamond robbery
/ IT'S queer. In old times the preachers
| used to talk about hades until the very
/ idea of sulphur and birthstone scared peo-
PIE out of their wits; but you don't heal
SO much of that now"
no use for sulphur and birthstone except
TO make light Of them
THAT said the farmer. deliberately
surveying the animal which he had bough
from Deacon Jones at about double it,
! proper worth, amt no pious kind o
steer It Is what I would call q bunCt
steer"
4 see that AIDES Fables in Slang arr
to be dramatized-"
Couldn't they dramatic Shakespear,
for a change2 Hes dead and it Touldn'
hurt him
Sometimes it Is a proof of a sense 0
humor not to see the point OF an alleges
joke.
They are forming a corner IN eggs
/ Chicago" said the star. thoughtfulIy.
Hint" said the leading comedian I
/ seems to me that in little while Chicag
viii be a good town to keep away from
Some golf enthusiasts are thinking Q
changing the hymn SO as 80 read, ''BIes
be the links that bind"
Somebody has been trying to recove
damages for manuscript burned in hote
fire"
Now, look here. you just watch the re
suits OF that suit. II II succeeds I'll TAX
a trunk full OF my manuscript ard sta
around in hotel till I get it burned"
You know We thought our Representa-
tive was such a smart man, and that folk
in Washington would think so much Of hi
eloquence2''
Well. don't they?"
They don't seem to Here the paper
don't say q word about his speeches, bu
they tell all about the way he wears b
whiskers- II we'd known it was whiskeT
that was wanted We could have picked OF
somebody else
, Hanna says" quoth the cross-road
politician, that no honest corporation OF
jects 70 publicity
That don't cut nc ice" replied the Ma
Z who Knows It All. They amt none {
EN- honest"