The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-03-31

Three DAYS before the Wedding was TO
be Pulled off Cupid sat on a Mantel in the
Bachelors Apartment and made a few Re
marks to the scared Bridegroom.
old Pal, you are in for it," said the Roly
Poly Match Maker. You are Elected by a
Pennsylvania Majority. 1 have got you TO
the Point from which there can be no Craw-
fishing. You could not Weaken now even
If you wanted 10. If you have any lingering
Doubts as to the Wisdom OF this Jump pray
Forget them and go it Blind"
81 nave no Doubts nor Fears" replied the
Bachelor. II have captured the sweetest
Child that ever drew the Breath of Life.
The Future is to be one long Pleasure Ex-
cursion in a rubber-tired Vehicle over an
Asphalt Road with Syringia Bushes bloom
ing on either side. The Vista is flooded
with Sunshine. We count on listening TO
the Chickadee Birds as often as convenient
and We have agreed never to Quarrel"
That's the Style of Talk 1 like to hear
said the delighted Cupid. II got you into
this Mix-Up with my little Bow and Arrow
and justly celebrated Love Philters. and l
am pleased to know that you are going TO
Stick. 1t was 1 who arranged that First
Meeting at the Summer Hotel when you
spotted her in the Red Jacket and the Short
Skirt. You will recall the Fact that she did
not wear any Hat. When you saw her with
the Truant Locks blowing around her Eyes
anu the Dimpled Cheeks warmed by a bona
fide Blush you began to walk sideways and
step on your own Feet. When 1 lured the
two of you out to the Links and observed
that you stood for her Slicing and Pulling
and Doctored her Score L saw that IL was
a Clear Case. 1t was 1 who shooed away
the Intruders when you sat beside her on
the Rustic Bench and gaZed at her Foolish
Like and wanted to let your Right Arm do
its Duty, but you lacked the Nerve and
feared that it might Queer Matters. 1t was
your own little Cupid who finally convinced
you that you could go ahead and get Busy
without causing her TO Faint or Shrek for
Assistance. 1 braced you up to taking the
High Hurdle after you had Baked a dozen
times and she was beginning to think that
you were a Stick. rs Superintendent of all
those Happy Hours in the Hammock and
the Boat Rides on the Lake, when she
listened to your Singing and pretended TO
like it, 1 fiatter myself that my Work
speaks for itself. L have handled this Case
to the Queens Taste, and now that the
Match has been Clinched by an Engraved
Invitation and the usual Newspaper No
toriety | feel that l am entitled to about
Two Weeks Vacation.
But you are not going TO Quit me at
this Crisis, are your asked the Dismayed
Bachelor. Think of the Ordeal that the
Family of the Bride and other Oficious
Friends have mapped out for us. In the
dreadful round of Ceremonies now bearing
down upon US We need you more than
ever"
THAT may be-" replied Cupid. but about
tomorrow Evening this Game will begin TO
be too hot for any mere Child, so l am go
ing to take to the Deep Woods. / want to
get away before you give your Farewell
Kick-Up to the Best Man and the Ushers
and other Rowdy Friends. 1t is now the
Practice in our most polite Circles TO get
ty-four Hours before he Steps OFF and then
have him keep his Edge until the whole
Show is over and he is loaded on a Sleeper.
A Bachelor Dinner with a lot of Broken
Glassware, the Best Man crying into the
C..ves and some one named Horace asleep
FAINT. / will have TO cut it out. And L must
pass UP the Exercises at the Church and
the Reception at the House. Excuse me
from getting packed in with a lot of Jay
Relatives that you have to Ask out of
Politeness. / have a perfect Horror of the
Gentlemen's Dressing Room, where every
body will be taking Bromo and telling what