davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
GOI,,I,Ilnr

The writer once spent Saturday
afternoon in the study of u dgnitary Of
the church while the ccclesiastic strug-
gled in vain to frame an argument
against gambling TO be presented to the
congregation on the morrow. lie aban-
doncd the attempt. Far be it from a
literary journal TO assert powers the
possession of which the professionally
religious are fain to disclaim, yet with
submission we even venture to believe
that at least ono cogcnt and effective
argument lies against all forms of gam
bling-one, namely, based OH the truth
that wealth, great or small. is n trust
and therefore may not be put in risk.
The moralst may declare that the
gambler gets. or ut least wants to get,
something for nothing. Men will laugh.
They know better. The winner gave
his chance to lose for his winnings.
For his losses the winner got his
chance to win. But ask the speculator
whether lie would gamble with trust
funds held by him for orphans and
then suggest to him the one great truth
that is seiZlng hold of mems conscience.
the most hopeful sign in these perplex-
ed days of social unrest, that men are
trustees OF all that they call their own.
Current Literature.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
NO. 10
--------------
A 9lsRHt Ocacif.

A weather stained, creaking wagon
drew up in front of photographers
establishment In Il Georgia town. Be
meath its body Il lean hound came to a
standsSi]l. A man clad in jeans trou-
sers, homcspun shirt and guiltless OF
coat or vest emerged from the vehicles
anterior extremity. Settling his soft
sloucll hat on the back of his head, he
adjusted his lone gallus and gave the
lines to the wife and baby within. Be-
hind these. from the dome Of canvas
beyond, pecred, big eyed and solemn.
numerous editions of the lord and mas
ter.
Entering the shop, the stranger paused
before case Of sample photographs
and, pointing to one, snid, Mister,
what dyer charge fer takin picters like
that?"
''rhree dollars dozcn," replied tho
clerk
Thrusting his hands into his pockets,
he turned thoughtfully toward the wag-
onful of offspring. "Waal, reckon I'll
have ter wait Bit he said softly to
himself. II amt got but 'leyen."-
Harpcr's Magazine.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Artificial Stone.

Quarrymen and stone drcsscrs will
probably be gradually crowded out Of
their occupation by the use of artificial
stone. In the manufacture of this stone
the sand Is heated and the cement add
ed to the amount of 10 per cent of the
mixture. The steel molds are filled
with the dry material and moved into
an immense cylinder, which is closed
and bolted. Boiling water is then
turned in under pressure sufficient to
force 1t all through the sand in the
molds. The cement slncks. but the
steel molds do not permit any cxpan-
sion to occur, and the stone is formed
and dried under an immense pressure.
The result is q very hard stone, which
can be supplied in shapes desired and
much cheaper than the natural stone.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Cleaning OIL Paintings.

An art journal suggests raw potatoes
to clean oil ,aintings. Have few po-
tatoes Mt hand, each cut in halves. Tho
fresh surface is dampened slightly with
cold water and used to rub the canvas.
AS the potatoes show soil the surface
is sliced off and the rubbing continued.
This process will create n little lather.
which should be wiped off as fast as it
accumulates with n clean. damp sponge.
When the whole canvas is cleaned, it
should be washed over lightly with
clean water from which the chill has
been taken and finally the water
carefully wiped off with an old clean
silk handkerchief. Raw potatoes to
clean paintings are frequently In hear
say evidence, but this description Of
the process may be Of value. 1t is sug-
gested by way of reasonable caution
that the experiment should be tried
first upon canvas of trifing value
and upon one corner of that.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Atchison Globe Shots.

Ifyou get hungry before noon, your
health is all right.
1t never pleases man to say" you
are getting bald-headed. Do you
know it?"
Don't get sick aow ifyou want any
sympathy; the hay fever victims are
getting all of it.
The favorite lie these days is the
number of pounds in weight one lost
in the recent hot SPELL
II holler at him sometimes, q wom-
an said, speaking of her husband,
"when I feel like hitting him."
A hint to grocers: When custom
or admires peach, turn your back,
and give him chance to eat it.
When man has clever wife, ever
notice how he lets her run things? He
Is glad to get rid of the responsibility.
Considering the monotony of mar
ried mans life, his wife should really
contrtve oftener to have hot biscuits
and blackberry jam.
The expense of the trip woman
took isn't all; when she gets home, she
has to give party to show off new
game she learned, and the latest thing
in sandwiches.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
One Passenger Too Many.

A good story is going the rounds Of
the offices Of the Metropolitan Street
Railway company concerning the Won
derful presence Of mind displayed re-
Gently by new conductor on one. Of
the company's trolley cars. This par
ticular car was bowling along up
Broadway recently when it was hailed
and boarded by a company inspector.
The official hurriedly counted the pas
scngcrs in the car and found that there
We're nine. Then lie cast his eye up to
the register and found that there had
been only eight fares rung up. He dis
closed his identity to the new conduct
or and called attention to the discrep-
ancy.
Slowly and painfully the new hand
counted over his passengers and then
scanned his register.
"Bcgorra. an you're roight, sir" he
said and promptly stopped the car.
Say" he demanded, addressing the
passengers in an authoritative man.
ner, wan O youse fellows'n hov to
git off the car-r."-New York Times.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
a VERY CURIOUS BIRD.
The One young Mark Twain Sprung
Upon the Scientists.

Mark Twain's father was an ornithol-
ogist. He had several friends who
We're also enthusiasts on the subject of
covered II rara avis it was the custom
to have Il consultation. Mark lad been
n witness of several of these bird in
quests and had noted the delight the
Old men took in discussing Il new
found specimen. One day it occurred
to him to provide the Hannibal orni-
biologists with Il real circus in the
form of a bird. He killed x crow and
also Il balnyard rooster. P!uu!sny out
Vac tail feathers Of l:o,h the crow and
;ii2 rooster. he substituted the rooster $
tail feathers for these of the crow. pro
ducih:s Il unique effect. NEcn he h"u
the specimen nicely Prepared, he went
20 his father and. handbag il to him.
said:
Here. fatEcr. is Il very curious bir.,
shot. thought you would be inter
csted in it"
The Old gentleman ga::cd uron the
specimen with astonishmrnt. That
evening the orntholugists of Hannibal
We're assembled in Mr.. Clemc:!s' par
lor. The rarr specimen WAS put before
them. The discussion WAS long and
learned. The opinions expressed were
various. One thought the bird WAS am
oil'shoot of the bird of paradise fam
lily: others had equally ridiculous no.
tions as to its ancestry. Put there was
one who refused to be swcrNed by the
pcculiarity of the birds tail from the
Judgment that it was of the crow fam
lily.
why, just look here" he said, lift
ing the bird by its tail feathers. He
got no further. The feathers came
out. There was a quick closing of IL
door Mr.. Clemens started to leave
the room.
"Gentlemcn," he said, please excuse
me few moments. will see Samuel
first and explain later"
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
awnllowcd Two Pound. of Stone.

Stones do not form part of the rec
osnized diet of the cormorant, but one
of these birds in the National Zoolog-
ical park in Washington had craving
which could be satisfied only by eat
Ing two pounds of stones. The keep
crs attention was attracted to the bird
because after having once sat down
1t couldn't get up. He was picked up,
and then the stones were heard rattling
inside of him. An official connected
with the park decided that something
must be done, and he promptly cut the
cormorant open and relieved him of his
burden. One of the stones. of irregular
shape. was 3l@ inches long. The in
cision was scwed up, and for five days
the bird got along all right, the wound
healing finely, but at the end of that
time the cormorant grew restive and
pulled out the stitches with hts hooked
bill. AS consequence Of opening up
the wound he died.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
EATING FISH.

1t is not good form to ask for n Sec
Ond helping of fish.
1t Is considered extremely bad form
to use Il knife in dissecting fish.
\ little modern fish knife. with an In
gen!ous fork arrangement on one side.
is now made.
A bit of lemon is served with broilcd
and baked fish, and it is in correct form
to use the fingers in expressing the
juice.
Potatoes are considered q propcr,ac-
cessoly to the fish course.
Sliced cucumbers, with plain French
dressing, are also served.
With boiled fish the potatoes are
also usually boiled. cut into bits or
scooped out and gainished With little
melted butter and chopped parsley.
Never use the fingers to separate the
bones from the eatable portion of fish.
The bones must be evaded With such
deXtcrity as one can command without
other aid than such as Il bit of bread
held in the left hand may furnish.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
A Korean Prison.

The gate was wide open, and the
courtyard was full of prisoners, and the
surrounding buildings We're old and
tottering. asked the chief, whom one
of the two or three listlcss attendants
called for us, why the prisoners did
not run away. "Oh," he replied, "they
would lie caught and beaten again and
kept longer. Now they will get out
SOON"
But as I looked at them saw they
did not run because they could not.
The life was beaten out of them. The
keepers brought the heavy red cord
with q brass hook at the end and
trussed UP Il man With it TO show how
the beating was done and then brought
us the stiff rods with which victims
We're pounded over the shins and
thighs until the beaten spots We're sim
ply masses of fostering rottenncss.
There was Il room, black, foul, lcprous,
III which the men were fastened in the
stocks. The Black Hole of Calcutta was
scarcely less merciful than this
Ladies' Monthly
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Sonpsuds Dessert.

The tribes on the coast of British Co
lumbia hold festival in the autumn.
the crowning item of which is the par
taking of n few spoonfuls of q bowl Of
soapsuds.
They gather in the dingy huts, which
arc hung with the staple food-dried
salmon. For light they stick into the
ground, head downward, a silvery fish
about five inches long. set fire to the
tail, and they have torch. for the fish
burns steadily.
After eating of various unsavory
foods there comes the great treat. This
is Il bowl of n frothy. sonpy mixture,
obtained by crushing in not ovcrclean
manner the sapoliti, or soap berries,
and squeezing out the juice. This is as
much like soapsuds as 1t is possible to
conceive. The natives sip it from
spoons of black wood, neatly carved,
of which they think Il great deal.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Painting Black Eyes.

''The painting of blackened eyes, Of
which you hear little nowadays" said
a man of experience. ais so well estab-
lished business now that 1t does not
even need advertising. A sign which
I just passed aroused memories Of
earlier days within me. 1t was merely
the name Of man who does this kind
Of painting, with the brief announce
ment, Black Eyes Painted
"Some years ago such simple state
ment was not enough to enable one in
that business to live. The artist whose
calling this sign declared is the same
man who some years back used to have
place on the avenue farther west, and
in front Of that old Office he used to
have IN expansive and gorgeous sign
which told his accomplishments in the
phraseology which the only Tody Ham
ilton after perfected in describing the
charms of the best that Barnum Of
fered."-New York Sun.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
a Model.

Mr.. Jones came home ut an unseemly
hour the other night and was surprised
to see Mrs. Jones sitting up for him
below stairs, with no other light than
that of the gas lamp, which faced the
door, to keep her company.
"M-M-AIarie," he said huskily, "y.you
shouldn't sit up s'late when I'm out on
business"
AS Mrs. Jones did not answer MIN, he
continued in an alarmed voice:
"Shorry, ln'dear, but it's last time
tell you I'm sorry-won't shpeak to
mel"
At this moment Mrs. Jones called
from above stairs:
"Mr. Jones. who are you talking to
at this hour Of the night?"
''Thash what I'd like to know
m-m-myself." stammered Jones.
Mrs. Jones FASTENED down stairs.
lamp in hand. When she saw the sit
uation. She laughed in spite of being
very angry.
Its the model" she said-"thc mod
el bought today to fit my dresses on"
Eyes. thash So" said Jones tipsily.
Model woman-didn't talk back-make
some fellow good wifc."-LonGon Tit
Bits.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
TALK OF MARRIAGE.
It IL Proper Tor the Man, but Not
For the Girl, Apparently.

a man may remark or his intention
to marry at some indefinite future time,
when prudence or other considerations
may make it possible or advisable,
without having. as a rule, to run the
gantlct of n chorus of impcrtinent and
stupid would be witty remarks. But
should a girl be bold enough, or, rather,
natural and simple enough, to say the
same thing what would be the result?
Why, every one knows that she would
be promptly sncered out of countc-
nance.
And why? Is it immodest for wom-
an to express n determination to enter
into u state which we are being contin-
ually reminded is q natural and honor-
able state, while it is modest and prop
er for man to do so? Such d;stinc-
ton would never be drawn except for
the "chcapness" to which reference has
been made.
f Il man wants to marry, he can mar
ry. II the first woman he asks refuses
him. he has only to ask Il second or per-
haps third or fourth. 1t would be
any man of fairly respectable life and
position and appearance who cared to
make the experiment could marry in
his own class. could marry probably q
woman much superior to himself.
But what about the girl Who intends
to marry "some day?" Is she not in a
very different position from the man?
Here is girl of good haracter-much
better than the mans. probably-aver-
age intelligence. average good looks.
Theoretically she is free to marry
whom she will, but is she? If she re-
ceivcs one distinct offer of marriage,
she has had more than her share, ac-
cortling to the probable average.
The fact that by an unwritten law a
woman must not take, and, indeed, does
not want to take, the initiative has very
little to do with the extremely limited
choice which modern conditions impose
upon English women.-Nineteenth Cen
tury
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
The odd shillinss.

There is very little difference be-
tween pound and guinea; only q
shilling, and yet the keen business man
insists that the shilling shall be consid-
cred. After Thackcrays series of lec-
lures on the four Georges had been
delivered in London, Willert Beale
says that he called upon the novelist
in Onslow square with check for
$3.50.
"Whats this, w.'B.?" cried Thack-
eray. reading the check. pounds?
Our agreement says guineas. and
guineas 1t must be-"
"You are aware that the lectures so
fur have involved very heavy losses,' -
said Beale apologetically.
THAT'S not my affair."" said Thack-
cray. II don't know what occult
means you have to protect yourself
from loss. Guineas, w. r.! Guineas
1t must be, and nothing else. I must
have the shillings."
And the shillings were sent him Inn
mediately,
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Life Inaurance.

1t is an interesting fact that. what
ever the reason may be, life insurance
is much more popular in the United
States than in any other country. In
proportion to their numbers the Amer
ican people carry twice as much life
insurance as the Britishers, five times
rs much as the Germans and eight
times as much as the French.
This is partly explained by the large
number OF American policies issued to
serve other purposes than mere provi.
sion for the families of the insured.
The scope of what may be called busi-
ness as distinguished from family in
surance is constantly cnlarging. A nov-
el and interesting recent development
of 1t is the insurance Of the lives OF
Protestant ministers for large sums
which are made payable at their deaths
to their churches.-Ncw York World.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Test. of Culture.

The chemist Liebig proposed to meas
ure the standard of civilization by the
consumption Of soap. creation which
would put the inhabitants of north
Holland ut the head of all civilized ma
tions. AS more reliable test Edmund
About suggested the sale Of steel pens,
the socialist Bebel the frequency of re-
form meetings. Dr. Bernard the use Of
undergarments. luxury unknown to
the semicivilized tribes of Asia and
South America; Professor Ebers the
sale Of postage stamps. The mileage
Of railroads per hundred square miles
of territory might do in comparing
countries Of equal density of popula-
tiOn.-Exchange.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
The Captain of .n ocean 1ines.

Nowadays the captain is the host OF
the ship. lie is no longer the gruff,
rough seadog in Il pea jacket of years
gone by. He must observe some Of the
social amenities; he must talk to the
passengers now and then when the
weather is fine; he must take his seat
at table when he may; he must be 4
kind of diplomat also and possess wit
and tact and a patience sublime; he
must see that no jealousies develop
among the passengers. have been
told of the very obliging captain who.
to please the lady who asked to be
shown the equator while the ship was
In southern seas, pasted Il hair across
the large end of Il spyglass and told the
lady to look. And the lady through the
glass declared she could see the equn-
tor "as plainly as \ B c." One other
polite captain have heard of--one who
directed an officer on the bridge to "lo
as the lady Wishes" when the lady re-
questcd that the captain steer the ship
over to the horizon so She could sec
what the horizon was likc.-Captain
Jameson in Collicr's.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
NoncookinE Restaurants

Odd as it may appear to dwellers in
small cities, some of the down town
restaurants Of New York are in build
ings in which no cooking is allowed
Some Of the busiest Of the midday res
taurants purchase all their meats and
stews already cooked and merely heat
them through again before serving
them to patrons. This branch Of the
restaurant business has reached such
proportions that the mere operation Of
cooking for such places has become an
established business, and owners of
ovens thrive at it.-New York Sun.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
The china,,nn,s Dresn.

Those who understand the subject
have to admit that when it comes to
the question of rational dress the Chi
naman has very much the best Of it..
American clothes are not made for the
performance Of much STOPPING or do
mcstic gymnastics, but the Chinaman,
in his loose, easy fitting clothes, is as
free TO stoop, jump, run or turn ha.d-
springs as 81 small boy in bathing. In
a Chinese suit of clothes you can lie
down and sleep with the same amount
of comfort That you can stand up and
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
The Collection.

While lecturing his congregation
rnthcr strongly on recent Sunday.
about slack attendance and small coll
lections Il minister of church In an
English city used the following elo-
quent and forcible sentence: eyes.
brethren. our collection of a little over
93 last Sunday included no fewer than
800 halfpennics. We all know about
the Widows mite. and am sure we are
very glad to receive it; but don't
think there are 500 widows in this con-
gregationw
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
witness NV Hand.

In the early days only few schol-
ars, priests and clerks knew how to
write. 1t was then customary to sign
document by smearing the hand with
ink and impressing it upon the paper,
accompanied by the words, Witness
my hand" Aftcrward the seal was in
troduccd as Il substitute for the hand
mark and was used with the words
above quoted. the two forming the sig
nature. This is the origin Of the ex-
preston us used In modern documents.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
FlEs.

After figs have been collected they
are dipped in boiling brine and then
dried on trays for from two to four
days, according to the weather. The
dipping is supposed to bring the sugar
TO the surface and hasten the drying.
After being dried the figs are placed
in Sweat boxes" holding 1000 pounds
each, where they remain for two weeks.
Then they are washed in cold salt wa
ter to remove all dirt and are packed
by women and girls in half pound, one
pound and ten pound boxes in layers,
being split preliminarily With n short
bladcd knife.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29

The Chinese began to write books be.
fore they migrated from the region
south Of the Caspian sea. Two of their
greatest literary productions are dc
tionary in 5000 volumes and an en-
cyclopedia In 22,937 volumes.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Another wedding shortly.
Holland Customs.

Holland has some peculiar customs.
In many towns bulletins are affixed to
the doors Of houses in which persons
are sick in order that their friends may
be apprised of the state Of their health
without knocking or ringing. and in
Haarlem the birth of child Is an
nounced by means of a small placard
adorned with red silk and lace.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Novel ANN unition.

During the sieges Of medieval times
1t was very common for the beleaguers
TO throw from their catapults and 9TH
CIR military engines dead bodies Of dogs.
swine. together with pieces of horse
flesh and similar carrion into the city
or castle bcsieged in order that the de-
tenders might by the stencil of this
putridity be forced to a surrender.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Comets of the pn.t Century.

During the nineteenth century 235
G2 in the eighteenth century. The
nineteenth century also behcld a great
er number of large ard brilliant COM
cts than did its predecessor The finest
of these were the comets of 1911, 1913,
1888. 1881 and 1852. In the year 1900
only one periodical comet was known.
IIallcy's. Now many are known, Of
which at least II have been seen at
more than one return to pcrihclion.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
relcgrnphine with c.nnon,.

When the first vessel completed the
passage Of the then new Erie canal in
1925. there being no such thing as q
telegraph in those days. the news was
communicated to New York and to
Buffalo by cannons placed within hear
ing of each other all the way along
from Albany to each of the other cities.
The signal was passed along in this
way from Albany to New York city
and back again to Albany in So min
utes. The experiment was a costly
one. but was success in every particu-
lar.
Missouri Valley times., 1901-08-29
Two Faced Babies,

'Not that deceit is born instinct,
but some babies must be two faced in
the cradle"
"Oh, that's not possible"
81 don't know. know child that
looks like its rich aunt when she comes
on Il visit and is the exact image of its
rich uncle when he happens to be
ere."-EXchange.