davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
The PIGEONS of St. Marl-

Venice has asserted the right of
ownership over the famous pigeons of
Saint Mark. Some enterprising street
boys who had made business of kill
ing the birds, when brought up in
court, pleaded that the pigeons had no
legal owners, and they were fed by the
public on the Piazza San Marco. The
city authorities maintained that the
pigeons were the ward of the old re-
public, and therefore of the present
municipality, view that was adopted
by the court.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
SIXTY THOUSAND A YEAR.
Chicago System Has Largest Sa1aried
Telephone Official in the Country.

Chicago System Has Largest Salaried
Telephone Official in the Country.
John 1. Sabin, president of the Pa
cific States Telegraph and Telephone
Company, has entered upon his duties
in larger field of activity as the man
ager of the Chicago system of tele-
phones. There have been promotions
all along the Pacific coast line to fill
the places made vacant by the transfer
Of experts from San Francisco and
Spokane to Chicago. Mr.. Sabin re-
ceives a salary of $4,000 per annum
from the Chicago company. He also
retains the presidency Of the Pacific
States company, receiving from the lat
ter corporation $4,000 per annum. Els
compensation is, therefore, 100000 a
year.
John 1. Sabin was born in New York
Oct. 3, 1917. When 10 years Of age he
left the public schools of Brooklyn to
enter the messenger service of the IN
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Washing a Wild Tiger.

A story copied from La France du
Nord" illustrates the lengths to which
perfect fearlessness may carry man.
The famous lion-tamer Pezon hired at
Moscow a poor Cossack, who was as
ignorant of the French language as of
fear, to clean the cages of his wild
beasts.
Instructions were given to the man
by means of gestures and dumb show,
and apparently he thoroughly under
stood what he was expected to do.
The next morning he began his new
duties by entering with bucket. sponge
and broom, not the cage of a tame
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Treasury statistics of American i'm
ports and experts for the year 1900
show balance of trade in favor Of the
United States of six. hundred and forty
nine million dollars. In 1875 the ex-
ports of Great Britain, our chief COM
petitOr, were twice as large as ours; in
1888 our exports were the larger, and
last year we were ten millions ahead.
But 1t is not in International balances
alone, but in government credit as well,
that this country stands pre-eminent.
United States 2 per cent bonds COM
mand 1861. British consols, paying
2% per cent, sell for 95%. French 31S
per cents are quoted at 1O2 Russian 8
per cents are worth 1O1. Taking these
British, French and Russian securities
with those issued by ten other foreign
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

William Phelps, a colored laborer Of
Richmond, KY, lost his life as the re-
suit of an act which shows him to have
been hero indeed. Phelps and STAINS
bury. another negro, were at work
cleaning the inside of a steam boiler,
when through the criminal carelessness
of some one connected with the plant
the scalding steam was turned on. AL
most instantly it filled the interior of
the boiler, and the two men, facing an
awful death, sprang for the ladder
which led to the manhole at the top
and which furnished the only way of
getting out of the death trap. Phelps
reached the ladder first. In a fraction
of minute he might have reached the
top and been safe. But instantly he re-
memberered that he was single and had
no one depending on him for support,
while Stansbury was married and had
a large family. So, with a self-abnega-
ton more meritorious than any glori-
Gus deed performed under the excite
ment of battle, he turned aside and told
Stansbury to go first. you go first,
Jim," shouted "Bill' Phelps. "You are
married" Stansburg sprang to the top,
escaping with slight injuries. Phelps
followed as quickly as possible, but he
was fatally burned. Dying, he said:
1T was Jim's right to go first. He is
married" 1t has often been said that
the negro race lacks high moral quail,
ties, but here is a negro who was q
hero under circumstances as adverse
as it is possible to conceive. With life
within his grasp he voluntarily gave II
up that another might be saved. Great
er love hath no man than this; that he
lay down his life for his friend"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
His Explanation.

The explanations some authors are
compelled to make to readers Of literal
or immature mind-when they are
obliging enough to make them at all
are often as good literature as the
passage which called them forth. Eliza
beth Cady Stanton says, in her Eighty
Years or More" that she once wrote
DIR. Holmes, at the request of young
nephew of hers, to ask an important
question. Did the doctor really have a
servant who almost laughed himself to
death, as described in 1.-THE Height of
the Ridiculous?" DR.. Holmes replied:
1 wish you would explain to your
little nephew that the story of the poor
fellow who almost died laughing was
a kind of dream Of mine, and not real
thing that happened, any more than
that an old woman lived in a shoe, and
had so many children she didn't know
what to do. or that Jack climbed the
beanstalk and found the giant who
lived at the top Of it.
You can explain to him what is
meant by imagination, and thus turn
my youthful rhymes into a text for a
discourse worthy of the Concord
School of Philosophy. 1 have not my
poems by me, but 1 remember that
1.-The Height Of the Ridiculous" ended
with this verse:
Ten days and nights, with sleepless eyes
1 watched that wretched man,
And since, never dare to write
AS funny as 1 can.
But tell your nephew he mustn't cry
about it, any more than because geese
go barefoot, and bald eagles have no
nightcaps.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

The American soldier is free and
easy, but the world hasn't his equal
as a good soldier Let's be content
with him, allowing Europe to make
automata out of her fighting material.
Good, scrappy, alert, self-respecting
men make the ideal soldiers. And
that's the sort of man the American
soldier is allowed to remain, no matter
how long he may serve Old Glory in
the field
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

nations, the amazing fact appears that
our 2 per cents are equal in ready mar
ket value to the average price COM
manded by foreign government pledges
that bear twice that interest rate. LAS
good as gold is a sufficiently express
i've comparison, but the figures show
that our national securities are better
than gold.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

France is proposing pensions for aged
people. If France would arrange things
so that the average man could get hold
of a few dollars before he is aged the
rest would be easy enough.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

How are you going to get along with
your examination, Jerry?
20, these questions are easy. Here's
one: What is the national hymn Any
body knows what that is. LISTS
which one is the national hymn, Mr.
Browp2"
"Why, it's-weli, you know there are
half dozen Of them. Still, 1 suppose
the one we really call the national hymn
is-is-what's the next question,
JerryY
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Observer-You don't sweat much at
your work?
Laborer-I guess not; a dollar day
amt sweatin' wages.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

About one-third of the Dominion of
Canada is unexplored and practically
unknown, which shows that she still
has room to accommodate a goodly
number of cashiers who may get to be
too wealthy to live In the States.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
His Failure to Remit.

Lendaman-See herel How about
that $40 you owe me? You promised to
get it and send it to me at Atlantic
City by last Friday.
Spendaman-Well,I I'll tell you. did
start to raise 1t, but then remember
that even If did scrape it together 1
couldn't send 1t because 1 didn't have
a stamp.-Catholic Standard and Times.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

One by one the reminders of our boy
hood days disappear. A Chicago man
has invented ball-bearing grindstone
and the grinding of grandpa's ak Is no
longer a terror to the rising generation.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

DIR. Ellie Metchnikoff. the microbe
sharp of the Pasteur institute, says
man is a regular pasture lot for mi
crobes, most of them harmless. We
are willing to act as free lunch for
harmless mikes provided they will
keep off the lawn.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
The Peril of the Hour.

Jenkins-Great Scott! there comes
Jones. Let's turn down this corner.
Jorkyns- do you owe him so
much as that?
Jenkins-No, but he's just bought a
house in Brooklyn, and I'm afraid he'll
ask me over there to dinner.-Leslie's
Weekly.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

A Halifax man who had killed his
father and mother committed suicide
by hanging himself in Jail. Doubtless
the sad fact that he was an orphan
proved upon his mind.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Of course, while trusts are the fash
ion a straw hat combine is naturally
to be expected. With capital of $12,-
100000 to back it, this straw hat trust
ought to be a pretty substantial affair.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
A Distinction.

Mr.. Dukane - What makes Mr..
Northside so proud?
Mr.. Gaswell-Oh. he is one of the few
people that don't claim to have made
a barrel of money by the recent rise in
Pittsburg Chronicle
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Prof. Chrisman of Kansas told the
mothers congress that "the chief aim
of mothers is to display their daugh-
tiers to the best advantage in the matri-
monial market" and all the mothers
became very indignant. There are some
things that ought not to be told.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

That one operator made some $780,
600 in the stock market by mistake
does not affect the fact that it is more
serious mistake for most people to en-
for II
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

The one weak point in athletics in our
colleges and universities to-day is that
it's work looks rather to competitive
contests than to physical development.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
His Idea.

81 should think" said Mr.. Homewood,
shat self-respect would deter the street
car companies from running summer
cars in cold weather"
Flows that?" asked Mr.. Beachwood.
swell, dead citizens pay no fares"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Wheels were never so cheap as this
year. And yet it seems so natural there
should be a tumble where the bike is
concerned.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
A NeighborIy Disturbance.

First Neighbor-Well, my daughter
doesn't play the piano any worse thar
your son writes poetry.
Second Ditto-Perhaps not, but it can
be heard so much farther.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Good Bargainers.

Bass-I got some eggs of Mrs. Fowler
for 10 cents a dozen. 1 praised her
baby, you know.
Fogg-That's nothing. bought some
of Fowler for II cents. l spoke in ad-
miration of his dog.-What To Eat.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Incomnatib1e.

Re-Can't you love me and be my
friend at the same time?
She-Hardly. There is honor among
friends, but 1 can do as please when
love you.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

1t has been discovered that common
yellow corn will cure cancer. Mr.. Phil
lips discovered some time ago that it
would cure poverty if properly ap-
piled.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
May Millinery.

Harold, how do you like my new
foliage hat?
Harriet, you must hear the truth
you look like a plant-stand."
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

"Ghost dancing is what J. j. Hill
called the phenomenal rise in Northern
Pacific, but "scalp dance" would see'2
to be a more appropriate name.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Perhaps $500 is not much of YER
dict in a breach of promise case, but
there are figures enough in it to sun
up into a horrible example.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Mrs. Nextdoor-Yes, my daughter is
very persevering in her piano-playing.
Do you notice that she's improving?
Mrs. Sharpe and 1 notice that
my husbands temper isn't.-Catholic
Standard.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Applied Science.

'"rhis article says man shows char
acter by the way he carries his UNI
brella.
Yes, and he shows character by the
way he carries off other peoples UNI
brellas, too"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Uprooted Trees Still Live.

The life tree" of Jamaica grows and
thriyes for months after being uprooted
and exposed to the sun.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

1t is an utter impossibility for short
man to fall in love with tall woman
He simply has to climb for it.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Expert Arraignmont.

''Mayme, here's a college professor
who says he has never kissed girl"
"Oh, we'll; lots Of profoundly scien-
tific men haven't really good common
sense"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Guest Gin restauranO-You may bring
me some roast beef"
Waiter-How will you have 1t, sir?
Guest-Well done, thou good and
faithful servant.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

The only discouraging thing about
the case of the Chicago man who is
living without a stomach is that he
still has to eat.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Right Up in Line.

Same old presentation Of Uncle
Toms Cabin supposeT
Not much; we've worked in an au-
tomobile collision and plantation rum
mage sale"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

The Weather Mans Complaint,
I try to please my patrons, but the con.
tract is no fun,
For farmers now want lots of rain and
carpenters want none.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
A Psychic Affair.

81 don't see how you can be so des-
perately in love with a girl whom you
have known such a short time"
''Of course you don't. But I've been
loving that girl all my life before
met her."
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Bobbie-Pa, what happens when cars
are telescoped?
Father-The passengers see stars, my
son.--Smart Set,
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

The total catch of seals during the
season just closed was 100000. This
does not include the electric seals, the
catch of which was light.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13


rtnh Og h
Gnnh rifles The i Length he water f feet
haugt2 fe6 inh; maximum d fee inches tons pee k
r6CNNo aloal sppy,2 tnsS w d officer w ~
plant hew II steel CIR ty dtlhm atl eh
g pmt yH shr
abuuon central atn close door les a to he order H
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Professor-Can you tell me anything
Of national Importance about the Ha-
waiian group of islands?"
Bright Boy-Yes. sir. The Pacific
Ocean.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

This is the time of year when it is
discovered that certain missing articles
haven't been seen since the house was
cleaned.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
EIausible Theory.

Biggs-They say the worst tyrant
possible is the liberated slave.
Diggs-I suppose that is why the ex-
typewriter loves to dictate to her hus-
band.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
The Scotch Lanpuagc.

An effort is being made to establish
in one of the Scotch universities a chair
for the study Of the Scotch language
and literature.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
April Admiration

Say, that girl in a pink hat is as
pretty as a peach"
ooh, prettier than that; she's as pref
ty as a peach-tree in full bloom"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
A Bonanza.

"Here's distinguished scientist who
says that after all there is nothing in
germs"
Nothing in germs? Nonsense! Why
look how much the doctors have made
out of them"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
His claim to- pistinction.

$50, that Is Professor Dash of the
Blank University. is it? Well, what has
he been doing to set the people to talk
ing about him?"
Nothing at all-nothing but teach
his classes. That's why I'm pointing
him out to you"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Cobble-There goes Glover, one of my
best friends. Never knew him to say
one word against me.
Stone-Yes. He's a fellow of rare
restraint.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Gain.

First Financier-I gave my boy $10.-
900 to operate with In the street the
other day, and he made $4,000.
Second Financier-Clear3
Eyes. That's what he had left"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
No Romance Left,

Penelope how could you break
off your engagement with him?
Perdita-We were seasick together.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Domestic Opinions,

Husband-I think only sensible wom-
en- ought to marry.
Wife-Well, you'd be a bachelor If
that were the rule.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
The Reason.

He (penitently)-You protested SO
much, dear, that / had to kiss you.
She-But 1 don't see why.
Because love you too much ever to
disappoint you"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Case of Genuine Humanity.

Young Husband are the bis
cults you baked this morning, aren't
they, Jennie? What are you going to
do with them7
Young Wife Fearful and Indignant
I'm going to feed them to the pigeons.
Young Husband-Don'td do that. dear
for heavens sakel I'll try to eat them.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Proud Father Ito bachelor friend.
veterinary surgeon)-Well, aren't they
grand2
The Vet-M'yes. 1 should keep the
middle one, If l were you.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Editor-Did you write this joke your
self?
Joe Kryter-Yes, sir.
Editor-Phew! Then you must be
about 400 years of age, but swear you
don't look 1t.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Il
mons o
looked
only
Cecil enthu
to
Coromons preaching his brothers
suppo He Is years
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

1t hardly offsets being in Wall street
only few minutes that one may be out
a great deal afterwards.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Man proposes-and the girl sends him
around to papa to see if he opposes.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Re.pectfu11x Declined.

my boy, no cigarettes! If you must
smoke, smoke cigars"
"But, father, 1 can't afford it."
"You can use mine"
81 value my friends too highly for
that"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

1t Is as impolite to ask man if his
diamonds are genuine as it is to ask a
woman her age.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
Only Half a Success.

"Your club meeting was feast of
reason"
Eyes, altogether; that committee
didn't give bite of anything to eat"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Morgan is said to be man of few
words. His money talks.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
A Vernal Live Wire.

The man in winter flannels oft must
Groom a dismal tune,
When sweet May weather slips a cog
and gets as hot as June.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

Clark knew Miss Kenosha was
stranger to Chicago before you told me.
Dearborn-So? How?
Clark-She noticed that all the men
in the car had soiled collars on.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13

GLOW do you like my new hat
Harry?"
"Well, it isn't quite as crazy-looking
as that last one you bought"
Holbrook argus., 1901-07-13
LET Us ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
RIOUS HUMORISTS
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-Sayings that Are Cheer
full to Old or YounR-Funny Se1ec-
lions that You Will Enjoy.

Mandy" said Farmer Corntossel, as
be dropped valise full of sawdust on
the kitchen floor and placed a gold
brick on the shelf. 81 have jes' made q
discovery. Tain very important, but
It's interestin'."
you don't say!"
"Yes. Ye know it's been said you
kin fool some of the public all the
time"
Eyes"
"Well, I'm that part O. the public. y
Washington Star.
Easy Effort.
81 hear that you've been hunting"
ayes"
bag anythingT
Nothing but my trousers"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-05-14
One Other.

During Mr.. LincOln'S canvass of Hi
nois for the senatorship in 1888 he
made a speech in Nashville, a small
town in the interior of the State, which
was listened 10 with great interest by
a young woman who sometimes wrote
For the local paper, the Schuyler Citi-
zen.
The next number Of that paper con-
tanned an article from her pen. in which
she said:
so many people had told me that
Mr.. Lincoln was a miracle of homeli-
ness that I expected 10 see the ugliest
man in Illinois, Instead of that saw
a man whose face lit up in the most
extraordinary way when he talked. and
l don't care what anybody else's opin-
ion isl want to say that I consider
Mr.. Lincoln one Of the handsomest men
I ever SAW
y copy of that paper was sent to Mr..
Lincoln. with the article marked.
He showed it 10 his wife, a queer
smile wrinEing his rugged features the
while
Mary" he said, Il have always
thought until now that you We're the
only woman on earth who considered
me 4 handsome man. and have not
been absolutely certain about that, but
it seems there is one other"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-05-14
The Exasperating Tuitui.

Robert Louis Stevenson, in his island
home of Samoa, as recorded in the
"Vailima Letters" spent many happy
hours in clearing paths upon the noun
tains. One plant was obstinate in with
standing him, the sensitive plant or
tuitui, which he calls the islands dead
Hest enemy, and says:
A fool brought it to this island in a
pot, and used to lecture and sentiment
talize over the tender thing. The ten
der thing has now taken charge of the
island, and men fight it with torn
hands for bread and life. \ singular,
insidious thing, shrinking and biting
like a weasel, clutching by its roots as
Il limpet clutches to a rock.
Tuitui is truly a strange beast, and
gives food for thought. l am nearly
sure that, even at the instant he shriv-
els up his leaves, he strikes his prickles
downward, so as to catch the uproot-
ing finger. One thing that takes and
holds me is to see the strange variation
in the propagation of alarm among
these rooted beasts. At times, it
spreads to radius of five or six inches;
ut times, only one individual plant APP
pears frightened ut a time. We tried
to see how long it took one to recover.
1t is all abroad again before two min
uteS.
Yet it has one Incompatible gift.
Rome had virtue and knowledge; Rome
persisted. The sensitive plant has in
digestible seeds, so they say, and it will
flourish forever.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-05-14

announcement, because the burrows
parallellirg the rows of crop would,
upon such surfaces, be up and down
hill, and would therefore not carry
water. To make this method appH-
cable in such cases it would be neces-
sary that the rows follow approximately
the contour of the ground in order that
the parallel burrows might carry water
throughout their entire length.
With a few exceptions in the irrigated
country there is no rainfall in the up
lands where the rivers have their
sources. The precipitation ordinarily
occurs in the form of snow, and even
this is not abundant except in the
mountains. 1t is the melting of the
snow with the advent of warm weather
which causes the periodical rise Of the
waters. April. May and June are the
high water months. With the ex-
ception of the grasses, and perhaps al
falfa, few crops require irrigation
earlier than May l, nor do they often
require it later than September -.
June and July are the months Of maxi
mum use Of irrigating water. and the
use in August usually is much greater
than the use in May. Grain requires
less water than alfalfa, potatoes need
less than grain, and fruit trees less
than any Of them. For the ordinary
farm products of the temperate re-
gions two or three irrigations usually
are required for the production of
satisfactory crop. The amount for
each irrigation varies from five 10 nine
inches over the land.
When several persons are interested
in the same ditch, tie necessity for
some system OF control arises. In
the case Of unincorporated community
canals this control is secured by the
selection Of & water master, who is
usually one IF the owners, to have
charge OF the operation and mainten-
ance OF the System and the distribution
Of its water TO those entitled to its use.
1t IS on the large corporation canals,
however. that the necessity for q care
full system OF operation and manage
ment IS most apparent Many of these
canals are more than fifty miles long,
and number their water users by hun
dreds. The representative with whom