The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-11-01

WdSAeiWOuldu. -Atl1nt1 COnStltutlOu.
When France and Germany were at
war an Englishman was arrested by the
spy. A letter dated Berlin" and signed
by his mother was found upon him. He
was tried by drumhead court-martial and
condemned to be shot.
On the way to the place Of execution
he said that he had left something behind
and .t1 insisted on going g, back ;, for IT. it; ,
"You are about to be shot"
II can't help that" said he. 81 have
left something and must get it,
What have you left?'
my umbrella"
That settled it. He was released. No
one but an Englishman, said his captors,
could be such thorough-going imbecile
as that.-Youth's Companion.
The following, obituary notice from an
English town shows enterprises:
Greenwich street, Mr.. Edward Jones,
much respected by all who knew and
dealt with him. As man he was anna
His virtues were beyond all praise and
his beaver hats only Is shillings each.
He has left widow to deplore his loss,
and large stock to be sold cheap for
the benefit of his family"
An eminent American lawyer now do
ceased was sadly given to intoxication.
On one occasion he entered church
while minister was holding forth on the
future punishment of the wicked.
Fixing his eye upon the lawyer, WHO
was Keeling near the door, the preacher
exclaimed: ''There stands sinner against
whom l will bear witness in the day Of
judgment.''
At this the lawyer folded his arms,
planted himself as firmly as he could:
and addressing the man in the pulpit.
electrified the whole congregation after
this fashion:
"Sir, I have been practicng in the
criminal courts for twenty years, and
have always found that the greatest ras-
cal is the first to give states evidence
The Scotsman.
de reason some folks don't want ter
be no angel is kase dey is too lazy ter
fly. A good man don't have ter blow
pc; Sa some felfs hf thaGe
heaven is way up yander, wen, in fact,
hits so clost ter 'em dat li'l' chile
could tip-toe en- reach it. hez come
ter de conclusion dat dey amt much
diffunce 'twixt great sinner and a
weak saint. ATLANTA Constitution.
A local contractor had faithful Mile
sian working for him for several years.
A few weeks ago the employee announced
his intention to pay visit to brother
in the West. He was to be gone a
month. and the contractor, being good
natured fellow. purchased valise for
''Tim." The night Tim" was to quit the
yalise was presented to him with few
prised for moment. and then asked:
And what am Oh to do with thot p
why, put your clothes in it when you
go away answered the boss.
"PYt me clothes in; is it?' said Tim"
me clothes in that?''
Explanations were considered unncces-
| sary.-Albany Journal.
Tess-"Did he really propose to your
Jess..."Yes, and it actually made me
shiver.''
Tess-"Why SOP
Jess-"He asked me if I would care
to share his lot and he looked so flu
nereal l thought he referred to one in
cemetery" -Philadelphia Press.
She-"Explain, sir!'
He-"1 won 'em. You know very we'll
| wagered a dozen gloves against ten
kisses and won. -
She-..Oh, but kisses, you know
He (frmly)-',Kisses should be paid
just as religiously as any other debt
She !cthoushtfully)-"Just the same as
note?'
He-"Yes,"
S n" .XG, :; 8 check?'
She-"Or a-draft?''
He-"Certainly."
YOU draft on mamma. San Franc ie
Bulletin.
What good does your college educa-
| ton do you if You can't carry a bowl Of
soup to a guest without putting your
prietor to the student-waiter.
'Oh, WE'LL" was the reply, you must
remember have two years more in COL
llege!'-Yonkers Statesman.
Sir Robert Finlay, NJ. p, when in Ire
land on one occasion met an Irish drover
with a number Of cattle proceeding to a
! fair in the south and stopped him.
Where are you going top he asked.
''To Waterford fair, yer hanner.'
Indeed! And how much do you ex-
pSEI W go ~ SooA S0NSAC" SoAu Tic
eminent K. C.
"Shure, an av I get IS the head I
shall not do badly" replied Pat.
'Ah, that sample of your country"
said Sir Robert. "Now take these heif-
ers to England, and you could average
f14 a head"
"Just so, yer hammer. an av yez were
to take the Lakes o Killarney to purga-
| thory yez would get guinea a dhrop.'
-:O:-
The Labor Question.-Servant lin an
| intelligence oftice)-"How many in fam
| ily?'' Husband Servant
what do you pay?" Husband-"Five
dollars" Servant-''Where do you live -
| Husband-"Oh, don't bother about that;
We'll move anywhere you wish. "-Har-
lem Life.
Mr.. Lushleigh came up the stairway
with his shoes IN his hand and his hat
hanging precariously upon one ear, sing
ing 1--WE Won't Go Home Till Morning.
with wondrous disregard for pronuncia-
ton and melody.
Mrs. Lushleigh met him with a cold
stare and exclaimed:
well! To see you in such a condition
William Henry Lushleigh, l am beside