Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-06-06

be poked out with a fishing pole or
stoned out by a number Of stones
hurled in her direction. And Mr.. Per-
kins told his wife hat probably the
reason she would not .'set'' was that
the man WHO sold her to him had
been a cheat and sold hens that had
never been taught to "set."
Perkins next venture was a COW,
"a gentle creature and a mixer and
pet for women and children" said
the mild-mannered old man of whom
our hero purchased her.
So, when Perkins got her home, Mrs.
Perkins and the hired girl and the
two boys and the baby ali came ont
to see her.
We'll have bread and milk for sup
per-" said Mrs. Perkins. It'll be SO
nice to know just what we're eating.
No filthy adu%lteration. | declare, /
am quite in love with her already.
She has beautiful eyes and such hand
some amherst"
"Them is horns, ma'am," said Biddy.
the hired girl, land foine ones, too,
And faith, I never seen any finer in
this country"
Can you milk her?" asked Mrs.
Perkins, addressing her husband a lit
tie beautifully.
milk her? Of course I cam" said
MFR. Perkins. "Here are the directions
in this book on dairying.' And, pull
ing a book from his pocket he began
to read: "'Always be gentle with a
cow. Never speak loud or cross. She
viii yield her milk more readily if
the mixer sings or whistles while per-
forming the operation of milking. Sit
well forward and keep the pail Just in
front of the hind legs. If the animal
whisks her tail so as to be trouble
some, tie it to the leg There. Anna.
what can be easier than that? You
car hum some soothing une L will
whistle, and we shall succeed as well
as if we had been born farmers"
Perkins placed himself in a position
| on an inverted fecd-box and started up
his whistling, and Mrs. Perkins began
to hum. The hired girl stood with her
hands on her hips. and the two young
members of the Perkins family looked
on with eager delight.
The cow looked surprised. She
stopped chewing her cud and turned
out the whites of her eyes. as she
glanced aporehensively behind her.
She fetched her tail a vicious switch
and knocked the glasses out of Per-
kin's spectacles and filed his eyes
with strong-smelling dust.
Il must tie her tail" said he, after
he had got his eyesight rubbed back
again. THAT is what the book says.
4l-A r. - l. +1.L ~
first
So Mr.. Perkins proceeded to tie it.
The cow evidently did not relish this
method of being anchored to herself.
and lifted her foot and sent the milk.
pail spinning across the yard, and the
half-pint OF milk that was in it spat-
tel ed over the front of Mrs. Perkins
brown silk dress.
ooh, the burning shame!" cried
Bridget "An that illigant milk vast
ed"
There is enough MORE" said Mfr
Perkins. "but the cow does not like
having her tail tied to her own leg.
Let me see; is it possible I la mis-
understood the meaning of the author
OF this hook? | must have. It reads
thus: Tie the tail to the leg 1t must
mean to the leg of the mixer. OF
course hat is what it means, How
stCpid OF me not to understand. Brid-
get, you bring me a piece of line and
I'll fix her"
Bridget brought the line and Per
kins took a twist with it around the
animals tail and secured it to his own
leg.
Now she's all right" said he
Gamma, you may sing q little, I guess.
Something soft and soothing, to show
her that we are her friends"
AS he spoke he put his leg forward
to sit down. and the motion frightened
the line on the animals tail. She
gave a leap forward and upward. vent
ed a loud and angry roar and over the
wall she went, and streaked it through
the back yard with Perkins in her
wake like the tender to a locomotive.
"Tarnation!" yelled Perkins, fran
tically.
This wild exclamation was wrung
from him by the cows dashing against
one of the beehives.
Byamighty effort Perkins wrenched
his leg free, and the COW, thus set at
liberty. leaped the back yard fence
and went off down the road, with the
bees in hot pursuit.
Perkins picked himself up and
limped into the house, where his wife
did him up in arnica and cotton-bat-
ting and put him to bed.
Next morning, a neighbor brought
home the cow, considerably swollen
around the eyes and with the END of
her tail amputated.
keep her, keep bert" said Perkins.
you're welcome to her. I never want
to set eyes on her! And Walnut Dell
is for sale. l am going back to the
city. Country air don't agree with
me. Nobody is fit to live here but
some one that has been bred TO the
business
And the reader will appreciate the
Christian character of Mrs. Perkins,
when she refrained from ~exclaming:
81 told you so."-People's Home Jour
nal.