davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
Moro ApDropriate.

Chicago News: I~nkerton-"Are you do
ing anything in n literary way?"
P~ennibs-"Yes; I'm at work on a novel"
Inkerton-"What do you intend to call
it?"
Pennibs-"T had thought OF calling 1t
What ! told My Wife"
lnkerton-"Why not call 1t What I
Didn't Tell My Wife Truth, you know,
Is stranger than fiction"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
Boston Flata.

Boston Transcript: Haney-Miss Stet-
san says she doesn't like her surround
ings where she is living now. There ara
too many flats there, she says.
Ripley-H'm! Does she refer to the in.
habitants or only to the apartment
houses"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

Philadelphia Press: Teacher-What led
round?
Bright Boy-Well, his experience with
1t proved that 1t was anything but
square.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
CORN HUSKERS.

The Back Hand Husker, with wrist band
and mitten face protector attached, sent
post paid on receipt OF seventy-fve rs cents;
also an outfit and proposition for you to com.
rience at once to introduce il in your neighbor.
hood' without further investment on your part.
BACK HAND hU6kER nFG. CO..
Sioux City, Iowa,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
Why He Refrained.

Puck: Judge-The officer says you
were so drunk o couldn't tell him
your name.
Prisoner was afraid If I did he'd
put me in a hack n send me home,
your hOnOri
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

Stray Stories: "Smithers can tell as
good a fish story as anybody / know. 1
told him an awful whopper the other
right, but he matched It,"
fHow?'
He said he believed me-
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
Possible Explanation.

Chicago News: He-"Woman, you
know, is the weaker vessel"
She-"Men consider her so, I presume.
because she isn't strong enough to resist
temptation for two"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
5000 TO $500 A YEAR.

We want intelligent Men and Women as
Travelling Representatives or Local Managers;
salary $ooo to fI5co a year and all expenses,
according to experience and ability. We also
want local representatives,; salary So to SIS q
week and commission, depending upon the time
devoted. Send stamp for full particulars aud
state position preferred. Address, Dept. A.
THE BELL COMPANY. Philadelphia. Pa.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
Matrimonial Livelihood.

baltimore World; Father" he said.
do you think / would be justified in get
ting married on an income of SIS a
week."
Papa-"Why, o young prohigate, you
never earned a penny In your life"
Son-"No. but / can marry that hand
some typewriter girl that works for you"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

Smart Set: Johnnie-Say, pop.
Pop-Well. my SON?
Johnnie-What 10 a cutter?
Pop-A revenue cutter, my son-is a
well, ask your Uncle Fred. He has
to pay allmony.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

All goods are alike to PUTNAM
FADELESS DYES, as they color all
fbers at n boiling. Sold by druggists.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

I do not believe Piso's Cure for Con-
sumption has an equal for coughs and
colds. - John +. Boyer, Trinity
Springs, Ind, February Is, 1900.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

A man who writes interviews with
himself Is usually n from whom the
public is not anxious to hear.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26

Mrs. winsiow's soornISo SYRUP for Children
%tecthing, soften tho gums, reduces Inflammation
allAy . pain, cures wind collie. &c a bottle.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
why Columbus Thought II.

fyou wish beautiful, clear, white clothes
use Red Cross Ball Blue. Large 2 or.
package, 5 cents.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1901-10-26
ARE YOUR CLOTHES FADED.
An Authorifv.

Use Red Cross Ball Blue and make them
white again. Large 2 OF. package, 5 cents.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
The SuhiccflOn of MINI

mo, l never have a bit of trouble
with my husband" remarked the frail
little woman with the intelligent face.
'In fact, l have him right under my
thumb"
"You don't look very strong" doubt
fully commented the engaged girl.
"You mistake me, my dear Its a
mental, not physical, subjection."
Would you mind telling me how
mot bit. Always glad to help any
one steer clear of the rocks. First Of
all, you must know that man in love
Is the biggest sort of a fool and says
things that make him almost wild when
he hears them in after life. | realized
1t, and from the very begiSning of our
courtship l kept a phonograph in the
room, and every speech he made was
duly recorded. Now, whenever my hus-
band gets a little bit obstreperous 1 just
turn out record or so. Heavens, how
he does rave! But he can't deny it.
They always will, though, If you don't
have proof positive"
THANK you," gratefully murmured
the engaged girl. 'I'll get q phono-
graph this very day"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
A Tarantula's Jump.

There are strange sights In Porto
Rico" said returned traveller. "Ta-
rantulas are one of them," he contin-
ued. land you should see tarantula
jump! One of them went through .
marvellous performance, with myself
and dog for spectators. The dogs
barking awoke me early one morning,
and l slipped into my shoes and ran
out. Spot-that's the dogs name-was
making frantic plunges at an enormous
tarantula, as big as my palm and its
legs covering as much ground as a soup
plate. Its wicked black eyes made me
creep.
"All of a sudden the thing shrank up
like sponge and jumped for the dog.
| give you my word, it jumped fifteen
feet If 1t was an inch. Twice the dog
ran under the spiders jump--fact. 9th
.ers were watching by this time, and
they all saw it. Usually, though. he
just side stepped bit.
II broke up little pieces of a branch
of tree and hurled them at the taran-
tula. My aim was just good enough to
stir him up. At first he kept jumping
away from us, but Spot always herded
him back again. Then he jumped
straight for us. AT last lucky shot
keeled him over, and few strokes
with n convenient club finished him.
New York Times.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Mr.. Fred Julian is on business trip
to New York.
Frank B. Hoag was PRESS caller
last Thursday.
Fred Leathers, of Howard was in
town several days last week.
Mrs. Thomas Joice, who has been
quite sick lSr some time, is improving.
Mrs. William Howard, of William
sport, who has been visiting in town
for several days, returned to her home
on Tuesday.
@. w. Beldin, of Sinnamahoning,
was in town on Tuesday. Mr.. Beldin
has been on the sick list for some time,
we are sorry to learn.
Mr.. and Mrs Chas. Johnston, of
Rich Valley, are rejoicing over the
arrival at their home of a handsome
daughter of the usual weight.
Geo. Gross and wife who have been
visiting with Mr.. John Mont
gomery and family left yesterday for
their home at Portland Mills.
]. J. Quinn, of the East Ward, who
has been so seriously sick with pneu-
monia is now rapidly convaleicng
under the treatment of Dr. Heilman.
Prof. w. G. Leavitt, of Sizeryille,
was social caller at the PRESS office
last Saturday. Mr.. Leavitt and family
spent Sunday with Beechwood friends.
The Rev. Robert McCaslin of the
Presbyterian church. and the Rev. o.
S. Metzler of the First Methodist Epis
copal church, exchanged pulpits last
Sunday evening.
w. H. Lapham who has been farming
for E. w Gaskill the past nine years
resigned his position and on Tuesday,
he and his family left for his old home
in York State. Mr.. Lapham is an in
dustrious young man and we are sorry
that he has decided to change his loca-
tion.
We regret to learn that Mr.. Joseph
Wheeler, who has successfully manag-
ed the Stock Exchange at this place
and made many friends here by his
honorable dealings, contenplates mov-
ing to Armstrong county in the near
future. We regret to see MIR. Wheeler
leave Emporium and hope he may
change his plans
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
HIS Prize.

An amusing story, which may per
haps he entirely true, is told of a short
sighted but energetic member of the
Russian secret police.
He was walking through little fire.
quented street of st. Petersburg one
night when he spied high up on a lamp
post 4 placard.
"Aha" he said to himself, seeming
mischief on the instant and alert for
action. That's one of those incendiary
notices about his majesty the czar! 1t
must come down at oncew
With some difficulty, being Of stout
build, he succeeded in climbing the post
and dislodging the placard. He bore It
to the ground, and there, peering at 1t
by the light of the lamp, he read two
Russian words, the English equivalent
for which is the well known legend
"Wet Paint. Companion.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Fl. s. Lloyd has been on the sick list
the past few days.
Mrs. w. It. McCloskey, of Wilkens-
bug is visiting friends in town.
John d. Logan visited his mother at
Williamsport last Sunday.
J. H. Swain, who is located at Keat-
ing Summit, was in town on Sunday.
g. L. Butler, being afflicted with
rheumatism again, has gone to Buffalo
for treatment.
Mrs. M. Phoenix, of Cameron, is
visiting her daughter, Mrs. R. s. Oyler
of Heating Summit, Pa.
Miss Jettie E. Wiley, who has been
visiting in Buffalo with friends the
past two months, has returned to
"Maple Shade"
G. w. Barr, of Gibson, was a caller
at the PRESS sanctum last Friday, and
informed us how the big Republican
majority was rolled up in that town
ship. G. w. has things down pat.
Mr.. Andrew Henry, of ofAnnville, Pa,
who has been guest Mr.. Jas. T. Wright
and family for several days, returned
to his home yesterday. OF course he
enjoyed few days hunting while here.
The many friends of Mr.. Gilbert
Morse, one of Cameron's most respect
ed citizens, will be panied to learn
that gentleman is near Deaths door
with Bright's disease. He has been a
resident of Cameron for many years.
At this writing "Wednesday EVENING"
he is very low.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
A Physician Testifies.

81 have taken Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
and have never used anything in my
life that did me the good that did," says
County Physician Geo. w. Scroggs of
Hall Comfy, Ga. Being physician [
have prescribed 1t and found it to give
the best results" If the food you eat
remains undigested in your stomach it
decays there and poisons the system. You
can prevent this by dieting but that
means starvation. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
digests what you eat. You need suffer
from neither dyspepsia nor starvation.
The worst cases quickly cured Never
fails. r. G. Dodson.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
The Children's Friend.

You'll have cold this winter. Maybe
you have one now. Your children will
suffer too. For coughs, Group, bronchitis,
grip and other winter complaints One
Minute Cough Cure never fails. Acts
promptly. 1t is very pleasant to the
taste and perfectly harmless. G. B,
George, Winchester, KY, writes "Our
little girl was attacked with Group late
one night and was so hoarse she could
hardly speak. We gave her few doses
of One Minute Cough Cure. 1t relieved
her Immediately and she went to Sleep
When she awoke next morning she had
no signs of hoarseness or Group, r. C.
Dodson.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
A Stencil in Decent NostriIs.

, Lewisburgh News.
How things have changed since re-
venge and Doodle have become the
! dominating factors and forces in on
position to the Republican party In
sGead OF having great party, Demo-
Gratis these days are asked to support
cast OIL mugwump Republicans; instead
OF the great principles of their former
great leaders, the Democrats are asked
10 subscribe to the doctrines of yellow
Journalism and the malignity that is
exhaled from a pirate band of Republi-
can soreheads who have failed to rule
or ruin the party. All this has been a
stencil in the nostrils of fair-minded
democrats. They see that to win with
republican mugWump on q fusion
ana platform of revenge is no gain
lot democracy, no matter how sue
cesstul as to the number of votes re-
ceived.
For live years fusion has been declar-
ed TO be the thing to win on. and VET
every time it is tried the Republican
maJorltles and pluralities are much
greater than those received bv Curtin.
Hoyt, Hartranft and Blaine in the old
days. And they will grow greater and
greater as the public come to compre-
hend the hypocrisy of reformers like
pr. swallow, who has been put out of
the church for lying, and the farce and
fraud OF yellow journal sensationalism
gradually they are opening their ewes.
democrats as well as misguided Re-
nubllcans, to the fact that the contest
against the Republican party is not a
contest for reform, but one for the of
tlces and to wreak revenge.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
Oyster Supper.

The ladies' of the First Methodist
Episcopal church will serve an Oyster
Supper in the Walker Hardware room,
Fourth street, west of Broad, Friday
evening, Nov. 22nd, at which they
will be glad to see all their friends.
The tickets will be % cents each.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
For Sale.

The Emporium Opera House is for
sale at q reasonable price for spot cash,
or negotiable paper. The only play
house in the county, with a seating
capacity of 1000, size of room 5Ox100;
stage, 50x22, stage opening, 24x22.
fully equipped. Natural gas light and
Fuel. Will be sold at once to close an
estate. Apply to
J.W. CLARKE,
23tf Emporium Pa.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
23tf

"Some years ago while at Martinsburg,
W. Va, [ was taken with cholera morbus
which was followed by diarrhoea. The
doctors medicine did me no good. I was
advised to get bottle of Chamberlain s
Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy,
which [ did, and 1t cured me sound and
well-G. A. Morris, Embreeville, Pa.
Sold by L. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

When you feel that life is hardly
worth the candle take dose of Cham
berlain's Stomach and Liver Tablets.
They will cleanse your stomach, tone up
your liver and regulate your bowels MAX
ing you feel like new man. For sale
by L. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

HERBINE sweetens the breath, brigh-
tens the eyes and clears the complexion
without the slightest i'll effects whatever,
and ensures the natural bloom of health.
Price, so cents. L. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
Established Business For Sale.

On account of the death of one of the
firm the well-known hardware business
of Walker, Howard & Company, at
Emporium, Pa, is offered for sale, in
Guiding stock and building or to suit
purchaser. Apply to
WALKER, HOWARD & Co.,
Stf Emporium, Pa.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets cure biliousness, constipation and
headache. They are easy to take and
pleasant in effect. For sale by L. Taggart.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Zinc and Grinding Make
Devoe Lead and Zinc Paint wear twice
as long as lead and oil mixed by hand.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
LOCAL DEPARTMENT.
Personal GOSSIP.
Telephone, 1872.

Contributions invited. That which you tpouLd
like to see in this Departmental US knoD by pos
tdlodTd or letter. JersondIIu,
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

The dog in the kennel barks at the
fieas; the dog on the chase does not feel
them.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Our life is scarcely the twinkle of a
star in Gods eternal day.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
DA US $ES$: $|S$$S sES$;t ,EEt EEf..
SWEET ORANGES
MRLAGA GRAPES
STUFFED DATES.
The Satisfactory Store.

1he Holiday season will soon be great
preparation In anticipation of goods daily
making their
your wants with everything fresh.
Don't fail to keep store It will be valuable tn
you " ~ -0"' ~
SPECIALS THIS WEEK
creamery buteel, zoe. lb Granulated Sugar
small item in the expense of living is the
used Here's a saving worth looking after.
II you looking for butter that improved upon try
Finest Elgin Creamery. We don't
look for anything better
mNCE No need to go elsewhere for all you need
MrAT that Thanksgiving Mince Meat except the fresh
MEAI meat Pure Cider Vinegar Boiled Cider Spices
MATERIAL Seeds and Herbs Everything rstcass
First quality. Try it. ~
Try Ten cent package of CUsTARD 1t will produce
ten cups OF delicious custard or two quarts cream
rhoheO' j. H. DAY
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Only the purest drugs are good for
sick people. They can't afford to ex-
pertinent. You may safely trust your
prescriptions with US. We make a
speciality of this work and are proud of
the success we have achieved.
Doctors appreciate the care and ac-
curacy with which their prescriptions
are compounded and that accounts for
our large trade.
II. G. DODSON.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Make haste to live and consider each
day new life.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Luck is always against the man who
depends upon it.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Booker T. Washington, when he Wis
tied Windsor Castle, during a trip to
Europe, was entertained at tea by
Queen Victoria, and while in Paris at
tended banquet which was presided
over by United States Ambassador
Porter, the late ex-President Harrison.
Archbishop Ireland and others.
There was shrewd girl and not de-
void of sense, either, who remarked
when the other girls were making fun
of her short skirts and affected to be
much shocked over the exhibition
thereof at party: eff you'd only pull
up your dresses about the necks where
they ought to be, they'd be as short as
mine."-Exchange.
According to the PHILADELPHIA North
American, the p. & E. railroad is about
to abolish its docks at Erie and have its
ore business handled at Buffalo. The
paper states that this is the reason of
the requirement of the w. N. Y. &P.
by the Pennsy. Should this change be
made it would make a vast difference
In the freight trafh through this CITY.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

Most men find their hoodoo by look
log in the mirror.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14
Complete Returns From the State
are in.

Philadelphia, Nov. 9.-Complete re-
turns from every county in the state
have now been received. Many of the
counties give the figures as officially
computed by the courts.
The total vote for the leading candi-
dates for state treasurer and supreme
court justice follows:
State treasurer-Harris (Rep.) J, 443,-
40S; Coray (Fusionist), 1856, 12O. Har-
ris' plurality, 4S,368.
Justice of the supreme court-Pot-
ter (Rep.) 431, ,443; Yerkes (Fusionist) 4,
3S5, 1O7. Potter's plurality, 46, 1886.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

llE=ll@lZljIZllG5l
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1901-11-14

E Lnl lGTTE!.IiEs.:ssiT:=
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1901-05-08
SGRoFULH And ITS awful HORRORS
CURED
Johnston's Sarsaparilla
QUART BOTTLES.
a MOST WONDERFUL C,TJr.r
AGrand Old Lady Give. 1Ior Exa..,.

Ihankfu Orila In teauiful ill.,
llch This
Ion 1910 of
memory her mind very
mas met
disnn.io Inherited use OF
terribly yhci
tne hves or
found nearn msea transmitted
pearonna family ID
be known membrane
h IN the head
say
dIsciarr My ont
yellow matter u IN mass OF
t treaty nfamed
In and nle very
condt,on n9 appetite
doctor had
We're must die consunpon as IN
at length Johnston of
tinn an OF eot
bottles But can De sure it, TOOK nreot
and disappeared
with corse ~
greatest d nfy believe that SARSA o9d health
anu ne pest medicine b, no
spring medicine This pom TOE
s saved oy JOHNSTONs sARsAPARIIfA on'es i believe my
For Sale by The Laurens Drug Co Lalrens $ c.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1901-05-08

it, for it was the only mcmento of a
very dear, brother who died IN 1861.
They still live alone aud IN poverty IN
the same old mansion in which they
were born, but neither friend nor
nelghbor ever presumeS to mention
General Thomas in their presence.
These venerable and venerated ladies
are but type of the old Virginia aris-
tocracy. Well may they be proud of
their State and their ancestry.
BILL ARP.
=. 81 do not know Colonel Gus
sons nor the pricc Of his little book,
nor have | any interest in advertising
1t, but do wish that every veteran
aud every veterans son had it. Ills
address is Glen Allen, Va, and he is
the publisher. | suppose that 81 will
buy ii postpaid. b. A.