davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
The Trouble. That Never occur.

'I wish very much" said a young wo-
man, according to writer in Success,
Ito go and see the firm of w. and NJ. I
them, just the position I have long want
ed, and I understand they have been for
over a month trying applicants for this
position, but so far no one has been found
satisfactory"
why in the world don't you apply at
once?" asked the person addressed
Why you see," replied the young wo-
man with a sigh, as she glanced at her
weather beaten gown, 'I've let myself get
shabby and clothes do make such diff
ference in an applicants success"
"Ill lend you money for suit" said
the friend.
20, thank you" was the reply with
another sigh, "but 1 don't want to Dor
row. The fact is, I have a hundred dol
lars, but I'm saving it for my poor SIS
ter's funeral"
'Ts she so ll?" asked the friend.
Not dangerous yet was the answer,
"but I'm sure she Won't live the summer
out. She's weak and depressed and has
no vitality or appetite"
Now, look here said the friend,
whose intimacy and interest warranted
plain speaking, you are taking a dead
wrong, as we'll as an entirely foolish
course. It's more than likely your sister
won't die. and it lies with you more than
all the doctors living to keep her alive.
Don't you suppose that your being unfitly
dressed and in a poor paying position, and
your depressed atmosphere, have much to
do with her depression and want of vital
ity2 ia go with you now to buy your
suit. Then you make straight for w. and
Ms, as soon as you can get the new
clothes on. Go home and tell Jean you
have fine position, put $50 of the money
you've saved for her burial into her
hands, and tell her to go to the seashore
or mountains for three weeks, and so save
yourself, your sister, your sorrow and
funeral expenses a the same time. Come!
Wen have the suit sent home C. o. d. !"
The advice was taken, the desirable po-
sition was secured, and, six weeks later,
well-dressed, prosperous looking
young woman, met at the train
another young woman, who, VII
taltZed by mountain air and
Drowned by mountain winds, no longer
even remotely suggested funeral expenses.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
BRIGHT BITS.

-Chimmy-"Don't yer wish yer had big
eyes. like dat Fauntleroy Van Gibbons
kid?" Billy-"Nawl He might be all right
in bein' liked by de wimmin, but he amt
in it when 1t comes to sqintin' through
a nailhole in de baseball fence. "-Phiia-
delphia Record.
"A Practical Man.-Head of Firm.-"I
can't have you arriving so late in the
morning, sir Where do you live?" New
Clerk-"At Lawnville-close to the city"
Head of Firm-"Um! / see. Well, move
farther away, and come in on an express
train."-New York Weekly. a~,- .-
Pure carelessness.-Mr. FYskuff (after
oonversing with neighbor)-"Johnny
whose fault was 1t that Tommy Tufin
got a black eyer" Johnny Fiskuff-"His
own" Mr.. Fiskuff very deliberately
Are you sure now?" Johnny Ffskuff-
Dead sure! Why he left an opening you
could drive a band-wagon through
Puck. - - -....--. ...- .... .
-Hampson-'I hear your engagement
with Miss Minks is broken off? How's
that?" Hill-"well, you see that beast
of a parrot of hers was always yelling,
On, Cnarne, you ShOudn [. " HampSon
But what difference did that make?
Your engagement was not a secret" Hill
No; and my name isn't Charlie''-
Glasgow Evening Times.
One Mans Wisdom.-New Clerk
That young lady in front wants to look
at some rings exactly like she has on
Says she is thinking of purchasing a du-
pHcate for her sister" Old Jeweller-
Huh! You needn't waste any time on
her. The ring she has is an enga cement
ring, and she merely wants to find out
what it cost."-Chicago News.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
PERSONAL.

Lolita Crabtree. the once famous ac-
tress is in California devoting herself to
the care of the health of her aged mother
Miss Crabtree says that. in spite of many
good offers, she will never return to the
stage.
Senator Stewart of Nevada owns a
large stock farm near Leesburg, Va, and
has Just made from that point a long
tour through the state by wagon, accom-
panied by George Jennison, veteran en-
ploye at Washington.
Brother Amadeus, the superior general
of the Brothers of Charity, who is now in
America for tour Of inspection of the
various houses of his order in this coun-
try, is 81 years cd and a native of Ant
werp. He is a knight of the Order of
Leopold of Belgium; a chevalier of Our
Lady of Villa Viscosa of Portugal, and a
knight of the Royal Order Of Charles III
of Spain.
George Lennox Watson, the designer
of Shamrock II, began his career as a
naval architect in 1872" says The King.
Since then he has been responsible for
the erection of some very famous craft.
In his first year he designed the Clotihe,
which proved a great success. In 1880 he
planned the construction of the Vandura,
which beat the famous Formosa, owlwd
by the then Prince of Wales. He furn-
ished the plans for the Americas cup
competitors in the Thistle, Valkyrie II
and Valkyrie III. But perhaps his great
est triumph was the Britannia cutter for
the Prince of Wales, the best craft of its
kind ever seen in British waters. Besides
yachts, he has designed many of the great
ocean going steamers. In undertaking to
supply the design for Shamrock II he adj
mitted that he had the cutest man in the
boat building word to beat In Herreshoff,
the American, but he was not dismayed
by America,s past Successes"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
"a PAGES.
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Special Notices-Summer Schedule
Steamer, H. A Strobhar, Agent; Electric
Supply Company; Savannah Building
Supply Company; Andrew Hanley Com
pany; Notice of Power of Attorney, Mrs,
Mary Deutsch, Executrix; Grand A. o.
H. Picnic, Division No. A, Tybee, May %;
Read Letter and Reply Auction Column,
John L. Archer; Malt Mead; Wall Paper,
]. M Hook; Special to Property Owners,
j. M Hook; Notice of EARLY Closing by
Grocers; Improved Dry Compound Fire
Extinguisher; Notice to Superior Court
Jurors; Residences For Sale, by c. H.
Dorsett: To Property Owners, w. H. Cos
grove; Beckmann's Cafe.
Business Notices-Cohen-Ku Car
raage and Wagon Company; Get a Plat
of the 50 Lots, c. H. Dorset, Auctioneer;
Good Wheels at Thomas Bicycle Empo-
RUM; Pierce Cushion Frame Chainless,
r. V. Connerat; Diamonds, R. Van Keu-
ren & Co.
Drugs, Etc.-Lvingston's Pharmacy
Strengthening Prices ia the Linen De-
partment-At Hogan's.
First Anniversary Sale-At the Bee
Hive. 80 '-
Hot Times coning-Mutual Gas Com
pany.
Basket Picnic-Walsh & Meyer.
Greater Bargains Than Ever-Foye &
Eckstein.
soaps-Munyon's witch Hazel Soap;
Magnolia Soap.
Bargains for This week-Gustave Eek
stein & Co.
our Nobby Sack suits-B H. Levy &
Bro.
Summer Frurniture-Leopold Adler.
The Leading Dry Goods House-Leopold
Adler.
An Angry woman-B. H. Levy & Bro.
Auction Sa1es-Handsome Household and
Kitchen Furniture, by I, d. LaRoche,
Auctioneer; Questions to Ask About Auc-
! lions, John l.. Archer; A Letter and Re-
ply Which Explain Themselves, John L..
Archer; Mondays Auction Sale, by c. II.
Dorset, Auctioneer; Rambler, IDEAL Eu-
reka Bicycles. D. A. Holland.
Some Rare Bargains in Fine French
China-rhos West & Co.
Waukesha Arcadian Ginger Ale-Colum-
bia Drug Company, Sole Agents.
Special Bargains for Monday and all
the Week-At Gutman's.
Your Dyes Examined Free of Charge
BY Dr. M Harris.
Laundry-E. s. w. Laundry; Savannah
Steam Laundry.
A Walking oxford" Kibo Patent KID
Globe Shoe Company.
Amusements-Royal Music Hall.
A Complete Repair OUTFIT Only 5Oc-M.
wslensky.
Financial-D. c. Richardson & Co.,
Brokers, Beaumont Texas; c. E. Mackey
e. Co. New York.
Wash Pongees. Corded Batistes and Or
gandies-At Morrison's.
Prices and Values on Summer Shoes
and Slippers-Chas. Marks.
Columbia Bicycles-T. A. Bryson, Co
tumbia Agent.
Sporting Goods and Cleveland Bicycles
AT Lattimore's.
Good Ready-Made Clothing-The Met
ropolitan Clothing Company.
Hundreds OF Feet Are Unhappy Not So
with Us-Byck Bros.
Postum Food Coffee-Postum Cereal
Company.
Beef-Liebig's Extract of Beef.
Medical--S. s. s.: DR. Humphreys Spe-
cifics; Peruna; Dr. Hathaway Company;
Abbey's Effervescent Salt; Wine Of Car
dui; r. R. r.; B. b B.; stuart's Gin and
Buchu; Infants Friend Powder: Casca-
rets; Lydia Pinkham Vegetable Pills.
Cheap Column Advertisemeuts-He
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent,
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
He Thought 1t was Morgan.

James O'Neill says the only time he
ever really got befuddled on the stage
was not long ago when he was playing
Monte cristo" in one of the cities of
the Middle West, says the Chicago Rec
ord Herald. .
1T was just after I had been tossed
into the sea from the Chateau dIf," he
explains, "and crewled upon the rocks
There, with my hands appraised, l ex-
claimed, triumphantly:
- The world is mine!
- Then some irreverent chap In the gall
lery yelled: "'Hello, Pierpont, when did
you get to be an actor?
1T was a good thing that the curtain
went down then, for I'd have spoiled the
whole scene If there had been another
word for me to say" b. III s.r -
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
Reflections of n Bachelor.
From the New York Press.


When in rum do as the rum 'uns do
Lots OF women spoil their husbands by
not trying to.
No man ever becomes an actor till he
has got over being stagestruek.
Love affairs TO man are like pins to
a woman; II you search one hong enough
you can always find one more.
There never used to be so much compe-
tition in brains as there Is now. II Napo-
leon was living In this century he would
probably be a dry goods clerk.
Happiness is the Juice of JOY.
Charity covers a multitude of skins.
The average woman would commit sui
eide at 30 II marriage was really like
what she always Imagined It would be-"
g. II the astronomers want to see the men
IN Mars they ought TO hang widows wells
over the big end OF their telescopes.
A woman may forget all the rest Of her
friends but she never forgets the other
women who didn't come to her wedding.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

A Good Language Club" has been
formed in New Brunswick N. j. It's by
laws prohibit profanity under penalties
ranging from 10 cents for ordinary swear
words to 50 cents for exceptional exple-
tives. House cleaning is now going on
in New Brunswick, and II rs said that
the treasury of the club is becoming pie
thoric A member tries to take down
a stove-pipe, says something and squares
himself with the club later. One member
had Just painted his front porch. A tramp
came along and asked for something to
eat While it was being procured for
him, he lolled against the fresh paint. The
member Clipped in 50 cents for the re-
marks he made, and thought he'd got his
moneys worth
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

A.E. Robinson, Md, EN-. Medical Dirse.s.
They cured so many men who had batt,.5
for years against the mental and nhvsIca1
suffering of lost manhood that the InstI-
tute has decided to distribute frea tr,.,
packages to all who write 1t is a how.
treatment and all men who suffer xut,b
any form of sexual weakness res,,ltin.
from youthful folly, premature loss ~
strength and memory. weak back, vorI-
cocele, or emaciation of parts can now
cure themselves at home.
The remedy has a peculiarly grateful
effect of warmth and seems to act airact
to the desired location, giving strength
and development just where 1t Is needaA
1t cures all the Ills and troubles that cov,,s
from years of misuse of the natural f1Inc
lions and has been an absolute success In
all cases. A request to the State Medice1
Institute, 813 Elektron Building. Fort
Wayne, Ind, stating that you desire one
of their free trial packages will be com
piled with promptly The Institute ia de-
sirous of reaching that great class of men
who are unable to leave home TO be
treated and the free sample will enable
them to see how easy 1t is to be cured of
sexual weakness when the proper remedies
are employed. The Institute makes no re-
stricttons. Any man who writes will be
sent free sample, carefully sealed in a
plain package so that its recipient need
have no fear of embarrassment or pub
licty. Readers are requested to write
without delay. ..ai af F,t
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
scotch wit.

A drunken Irishman was once lodged
in the cell of Scotch country police
station. says Spare Moments, when he
made a tremendous noise by kicking the
cell door with his heavy hob-nailed
boots.
The constable who had charge of the
police station, going to the cell door
opened it little and said:
Man, We MIGHT pit aft yer butts, an
I'll gle them bit rub. so that yen be
respectable-like when We come up afore
the bailie the morn
The prisoner, hattered at thu request,
at once complied, and saw his mistake
only when the constable shut the door
upon him, saying coolly: ee r
I'VE can kick ava moo, my man, as
lang as We like" .e' f.a
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

The Willie Mccormick kidnapping case
has pitlfu1 ending. 1t was believed the
boy, aged twelve, had been stolen from
his home at Highbridge, N. Y. Rewards
were offered, aggregating large sums.
The police and detectives were put to
their wits ends. Churchmen and civil
ians Joined in the search. The whole
country was secured for the villains who
had taken the child from his fond parents.
After six weeks creek near the boy
home has given up his poor little body.
He had fallen in and been drowned. Thus
what was supposed to have been a SEN
sational kidnapping turns out to be only
a commonplace but nevertheless sad accl-
dent.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
MiIIer,a Hotel

81, 80 and Al West Twenty-sixth Street
NEW YORK. .f-.a
This house is located between Broadway
and Sixth avenue, one block from Madi-
son Square 1t is in the very center OF
the shopping, amusement and hotel dis
trict. The Broadway and Sixth avenue
lines of electric cars, with their transfers.
connects with all ferries. railroad depots
and other parts of the city. The house Is
fitted up with all modern conveniences
and for years has been the home Of
many prominent people from both South
and North. .rita-a=.
Rates-Single rooms, with board, from
81 to- $3.50 per day. Double rooms, with
board. for two, from 81 to S.. Special
terms for a stay of two weeks. fa--
.- --a w. NJ. HAIGHT, Proprietor
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

The story is told that when the Illinois
Legislature was opened with prayer one
morning not long ago, the chaplain closed
his invocation with the Lords Prayer. A
Chicago member listened intently, and
when the chaplain had finished he turned
to his neighbor and said: That fellow
stole the last part of his prayer. 1 heard
it last week at a funeral"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
THE WINOLA.

This modern hotel is beautifully situa-
ted with full lake view on an eminence
of ground overlooking the main body of
water $50 feet away. Pine grove of large
trees surrounds hotel. Orchestra will
furnish music at stated intervals during
day and evening. Cuisine frst-class;
rates reasonable. Located on the direct
route to the Pan-American Exposition.
Illustrated booklet and other information
on application. c. e. FREAR, Prop,
Lake Winola. Pa
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

Mark Twain told the Princeton students
the other day that he had a plan of his
own for reforming the world Sins should
be economical, he said. and one should
get the most possible out Of them. "If
you commit a sim SIT down and think It
over. You may end by making up your
mind that you win never commit that
sin again. You should so to the next
sin and use that the same way. Now,
there are only 1865 sins that you can com
init, 40 that II you tegin tomorrow and
commit all Of them, you will be out in a
little over year"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

Last Thanksgiving Day Mr.. Ferdi-
uand w. Peck, Commissioner General to
the Paris Exposition, sent nice cable
message Of congratulations and felicita-
tons to President Mckinley, and charged
the cost Of it to the exposition fund The
controller OF the treasury has decided that
Mr.. Peck must so down into his pocket
and pay for the cable himself II was
not on public business, says the con-
ROLLER, therefore II cannot be paid for
known before that he would have had
10 pay the tolls he would no doubt have
oeen less extravagant in his use OF Ian
Tuas~
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Baltimore Sun Dem9 says: 1.-THE
corner in Northern Pacific will long be
remembered as one of the most remark
able operations in modern stock gam
bling. 1t should serve as a warning to
those who may be tempted to invest
their savings In stock speculations. Per-
sons who have money to invest should
exercise the greatest prudence in buying
securities at all times, and especially at
this juncture, when prices are subject 10
the most violent fluctuations and when
the market is manipulated by syndicates
and stock jobbers. The conditions are all
against the small investor In this era Of
wild speculation, and, however tempting
the prospect may be- he should think
well before he puts his savings in the
financial whirlpool. Prudent investors
will, for the present, at least avoid Spec
ulation in stocks as they would any other
form of gambling in which the dice are
apt to be loaded, and, II they want to
be sure OF their money, will not try to
realize their golden dreams under the con
ditions which now prevail in Wall street"
The Philadelphia Ledger Qnd) says:
only the most intense International jeal-
ousy can find cause for offense in Gen.
Chaffees speech, made in the freedom of
a smoking concert, and, of course, unofff-
ciany, In which he saw fit to make a re-
mark complimentary to the country of
the host, Gen. Chaffee. All he said was
that Americans would not fight the Brit
ish but. IL they must take sides. they
would side with Great Britain II was
the expression OF his private opinion, and
1t is not probable that our government
will feel called upon to apologize for t.
1t has learned that Chaffee has way OF
making blunt remarks which express the
sentiment of the American people,"
The Washington Post Qnd) says: awe
sorrow for Mrs. Carrie Nation. Here is
a case of foolish and perverted energy.
once she held baby TO her. tender
breast and sat, as on a throne, trans
figured by the lovelight I'm her starry
eyes To-day after having made herself
the butt OF every vase and ribald scorn,
she languishes in prison like vulgar
criminal with none so poor to do her
reverence. What a sorrowful heart
breaking picturer'
The Chicago Chronicle (Dem) says:
Mr.. Bryan argues that fusion is AN
open and honest plan of cooperation II
may be open, but It is hardly honest.
The fusion OF Democrats and Populists
involves the sacrifice of principle by one
or the other. Unhappily, i'm all recent
fusions Il has been the Democrats who
have done the surrendering, and they
have been whipped, besides"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

The Pennsylvania Legislature has killed
the proposition to remove the capital from
Harrisburg to Philadelphia. A new capitol
tracts offer some fat picbings. Under
salch circumstances Il was not to be
thought that the Republican politicians
would consent to any removal PROPOSE
ton.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
GTeeDbrIeT WhIIp SUIDhUr SDTlnOS,

WEST VIRGINIA. f--a5i
The representative resort of the South.
Open June 15. New lights, sewerage, and
private baths. Also sulphur. Turkish.
Russian, and spout baths, in charge of
professional. Orchestra of Is pieces
Write for illustrated booklet, Address.
until June /, Harrington Mills. Mgr. the
Grafton, Wash, D. c. --rr -@7
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12
The weather.

The indications for Georgia snd Eastern
Florida to-day are for fair weather, fresh
westerly winds.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

Free Trial Package OF This New Dis
covery mailed to Every Man Sending
Name and Address-Quickly Restores
Strength and Vigor.
Free trial packages of most remarka-
Bile remedy are being mailed to all who
will write the State Medical Institu,.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-05-12

Standard OIL dividends are coming
along just as regularly as II abe oil strike
In Texas had not been made
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-10-30
GOFORTH WILL NOT
RETURN TO CHINA
The Missionary Who Received Ter.
rible Injuries in Boxer
Uprising.

A dispatch from Toronto. dated Oc-
tober IS, states that Rev. Jonathan Co.
forth, who returned last year from
China, after having experienced the
horrors of the Boxer uprising. will not
be sent back to China as missionary.
Mr.. Goforth passed through Honolulu
on his way home, and at that time his
head was still swathed in bandages.
The dispatch is as follows;
There was a good deal of business
before the Presbyterian Foreign Mis-
sion Board, which began it's autumn
meeting in Knox Church today, Con-
vener Rev. Dr. Moore, Of Ottawa, in
the chair The principal question dis
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-10-30

cussed was the ACCESSIBILITY of sending
missionaries back to China. Communi-
cations from DR.. Mcclure, now at Ho-
nan, stated there was possibility of
further trouble in China and the coun-
try had by no means settled down to
it's normal condition. The claims Of
Presbyterian missionaries for compen-
sation for losses had been presented
to. the indemnity committee of the al
lied powers at Picking by DR.. Mcclure,
and were now under consideration. He
was of the opinion that they would
receive favorable consideration. The
buildings and other property Of the
board at Chang TIE station were re-
ported in good condition; in fact, the
missionaries were rather surprised at
the small amount of damage caused
during the disturbances. An address
on the present situation in China was
delivered by Rev. Jonathan Goforth,
who spent some time in that country.
It was decided after rather lengthy
discussion not to send him back to Chi
ma this autumn.