The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1901-08-14
A FRENcHMAN ON
TIE HOUSE OF COMMONS
L. G. Corred for defendant.

A F'renchman has been studying the
British House of Commons, and has Civ
en- in the Matin (Paris) his conclusions
these is given below:
Have you ever sat in the House of
Commons and listened? No? Then you
have missed the best of English come
dies. l will describe.
I'm front of me sits gentleman with a
| long wig in front of him two lesser gen.
| tlemen in lesser wigs. The great gentle
man is called the speaker / don't know
why. Perhaps because he never opens his
mouth. The other gentlemen are his
clerks; they suck pens continually
"On the right hand of the speaker sit
many plump, red-faced, well-dressed
Engiishmen. These are Conservatives.
On the left hand of the speaker sit fewer
| pale-faced, long-haired, tragic-looking
Englishmen. These are Liberals.
| Let me describe their talk. One of the
Liberals-he is a Welshman-gets on his
| feet. He is very white, very tragic. His
| hair is brushed as carefully as that on
| a lady's poodle, and with The same Sun
day-school finish He is young and his
hair announces that he is well pleased
with the state of his soul. You feel that
he would be really surprised If he did not
go to heaven. What does he say? Lis
| ten. The British army is composed of
| the scum of the earth. The officers are
| savage barbarians. The war is disgrace
to England, and she will be punished for
it-some day. His voice vibrates like'one
of the London Twopenny Tubes. His
eyes fash his arms saw the air. All
around him the Liberals sit, white, silent
| tragic-looking,
| But what is 1t we hear? My friends
we hear laughter, loud, red faced laugh
| ter. 1t comes from the Conservatives.
Look at their crowded benches. Are. they
not one broad grin, one big red face?
The more the good young Welshnan
proves the cruelty of the British officer
| the more do these Conservatives laugh
| the broader do they grin. They are hard
hearts, these Conservatives.
Another Liberal is soon what they call
| up He comes from Ireland Black Is
| his hair; black eyebrows, like the stroke
of quill-pen, press upon his eyelds He
has the white, tragic face, the flashing
eyes; he has also the black beard His
| clothes hang loosely on his frame; a
| lock of black hair slashes his white brow.
He has really beautiful brogue, and he
| has pulled out the tremolo stop.
| I'VE listen to him. The English SOL
diers are villains; the officers are black
guards. The English burn the farms of
the good Beers. The English ill-treat the
nice Boer women. The English cause the
tears to fan from the eyes of the sweet
little Boer children. Brutal English
Long-suffering Beers! One can see the
flames leaping from the farm roof, and
hear the wall of the women, also the yell
of the nice little children. Blood swims
before the eyes. Oh 1t is terrible!
Again there is laughter Again the
crowded benches are full of jovial, red
faced laughter. 1t is the deep chuckle OF
those Conservatives again.
| LET me generalize. The Conservative
is one who attacks the Liberal for mis-
governing the country. The Liberal Is
one who attacks the. country for misgov-
erning the world. And between the two
the business of the empire goes on.
Il enjoy the House of Commons. 1t is
| real nice to hear these English blacken.
ing their own characters. Does 1t not
save us trouble? They seem, all of them
who, are In earnest. TO desire more thar
theys desire riches, that their country
should be proved wicked and wrong
They have newspapers which are trying
tevery day to prove. this; and EnglishmeI
buy them. read their own damnatior
there pay their pennies to them
selves called sayages. cut-throats. black
guards. There are thousands of these
English toiling day and night to prove
that Sir Alfred Miner is the Did eGn
tleman himself. This is perhaps VIII.