Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-03-27
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The police force, my son.-Philadel-
phla Record.
Old Gentleman-Here, SIR how Is it
l catch you kissing my daughter? The
Lover-By sneaklng in on us, sir
Philadelphia Press.
"Hows thatf" "Why. he's got but
Ter so dignltied that he even awes the
cook into submission" Brooklyn Life.
Tess-Mr. Phoxy seems very anxious
to have his wife make over her last
years gown. Jess-liell make over
$50 or $40 If she does.-phlladelphia
Press.
"Yes, your honor, the butcher was
ugly. l asked him for choice cut"
what did he give your IAN under
cut" ''rhree dollars and costs."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer,
81 suppose you love to give pleasure"
said the altrurian to the humorous lee
turer. Eyes. indeed" replied the other.
"Td have to quit If didn't, you know"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
$50 your son has returned from col
| lege, has hep" "Yes." "Did he get his
degree?' "Yes; he got about fifteen
degrees below the graduating require
ment."-Richmond Dispatch.
She-Indeed, It's not an easy thing
for girl to get husband. He-Why
pretty girl can make her choice of
four out of every five men she meets.
She-But It's the fifth man she wants.
"What do you call theseY he asked
at the breakfast table. "Flannel
cakes" replied the wife of his bosom.
"Flnnnel? They made mistake and
sold you corduroy this time."-Balti-
more American.
Over Nothing: This wireless teleg
raphy reminds me of groundless
quarrel" what possible connection
Is there between the twow "lts prac-
tically having words over nothing
Philadelphia Times.
Mrs. Housekeep--Why don't you &C
to work? Weary Walker-Well, lady,
yer see I'm wat yer might call an "un-
happy medium" Mrs. Housekeep-In-
deed? And what do you mean by that2
Weary Walker-Why, I'm too heavy
fur light work and too light fur heavy
work.-Philadelphia Press.
Elderly saw you with the charm
ing Miss Hedstrong to-day. | know
her parents very WELL Youngman-Do
you? wish you'd put in a bad word
for me with them. Elderly-You mean
good word, of course. Youngman
No, don't If l only get her parents
to oppose me I'll land the girl sure
Philadelphia Press.
II never undertake an important
business venture in the afternoon; his
tory has established a superstition that
makes it seem unfortunate to do So"
ITO what historical event do you at
tribute such theory as that?" ''Why,
the fall of Adam. That happened at
the approach of Eve, you know
Richmond Dispatch.
Tailed One: "Euphemia," said young
Spoonamore, will you marry meT' Il
will notv' replied the young woman, in
dignantly. miss Lickladder,' he re-
| 1Oiupu, III tnlly III piA'tA
memorandum book and replacing it In
his pocket, "you have the honor of be-
ing the first girl who has refused me
since the new century began."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Harry-Uncle George, at the end of
this marriage notice of Cousin Toms
1t says: mo cards" What does that
mean? Uncle George-It doesn't mean
anything, Harry. That is to say, 1t is
only blind. it's promise that Tom
will give up cards; but, bless you, he
won't be a month married before he'll
be back to the poker table agaln.-Bos
ton Transcript.
Johnny-Pa, doesn't man sometimes
speak so rapidly that the stenographer
can't follow him, and say so many
wonderful things that they are lost in
admiration of his eloquence? Pa-Yes;
l have heard that something of the
kind does happen now and then; but
why do you ask, Johnny? JOHNNY
notice that when you make speech
the papers always say, "Mr. Breeze
also spoke" boston Transcript.
The Real Trouble: Mrs. de Style
Cooking from her paper)-The idea. |
| told that reporter not to mention my
I name In connection with the Glugore's
reception, and yet he's done it. Ill
b Just go down to that newspaper office
o tomorrow and see about this. Mr.. de
Style-Ohl l wouldn't pay any atten
\ ton to 1t, my dear. Mrs. de Style-i
n wouldn't, but they've got my name
n spelled wrong.-Phlladelphl Press.
What Hurt Worst: 81 don't mind
bein' accused of kldnapin', y'r honor,
the prisoner said, the hue OF shame ana
[ modification mantling his grlnly
:. cheek; "what grlnds me Is that any,
a body sh'd accuse me-of stealin' this
y boy, wen l know is dad couldn't Pls