The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1901-02-14
PRESENT DAY FASHIONS.
The Alton Democrat humorist
Takes a Shot at the ECcen-
triCities of Fashion.

| lakes a Sh0t at the ECCen-
I triCities of Fashion.
! The following humorous and original
homily on fashion, by The editor of the
Alton Democrat, is SO good that THE
| REPORTER wants it's readers to have the
benefit of it:
| The thirty-iirst verse OF the seventh
chapter of Corinthians says the fashion
of this world passeth away. If it had
said the fashion of this world passeth
understanding it would have been more
| to the point as to fin de cecle condi-
tons. For fashion, my gentle, meek
eyed reader, is indeed tickle goddess,
| full of of caprices and prunes and vain
conceits. My old boyhood chum, Noah
Webster, once wrote Il large, dropsical
looking book full of words, at my sug
gestion, and gave the following stats
tics in regard TO the word fashion"
Fashion, says Noah, (tashun); Norm.
FIR. 4 @. Sp., facion, Fr., tacon, N. Sp.,
faction, Pr, faisso, It,, fazione, Lat,
tactic, from facere, to make, land be-
Noah to tell a lie. From this learned
disquisition you will readily see that to
follow fashion means to make specta-
cular idiot of yourself about nine tenths
of the time and be in the care of the
doctor the other tenth. l don't know
what that word "disquisition" means,
as didn't have time to look it up, but
| saw it in republican editorial the
other day so it must be all right, as
everything in republican editorials is ac-
cording to providence. But to return
to the original characterization is
about the most ridiculous thing in the
world and that's saying good deal, for
this world contains some pretty ridicu-
lous things. In, fact, it is about the
most ridiculous world ever lived in.
| What is fashion, anyhow? "Aristoc-
racy and fashion," Says Ralph Waldo
Emerson, care certain inevitable results,
and we're there but two men on earth,
one would he the leader and be copied
by the other''-and therein Ralph
Waldo spoke not as the foolish women
speak, but as a sage. Fashion is the art
of aping somebody else. Some perfumed
noodle, with a nickle's worth of oleo-
margarine Tor brains, comes along and
sets himself up as a criterion of fashion
as Beau Brummel did, and all the per-
fumed noodles fall over themselves to
follow his style. But perhaps you are
not acquainted with Beau Brummel?
Bean was one of my old friends who led
the 400 of London something like GEN.
fury ago. Beau's real name was George
Bryan Brummel and he was an intimate
friend Of the Prince of Wales, who was
also perfumed noodle, liar and a
good judge of poor whiskey. Beau set
society hot pace till his fortune was
gone and then his band wagon began to
leak and he took to borrowing his to.
bacco and shining his own shoes till lie
didn't have friend left and he died in
the poor house. To ape the dress and
in the fashionable swim.
1t looks like man or woman of good
taste should be superior to fashion, but
it is not so. The follower of fashions
dictates has no more use for good taste
| than the Filipino chieftaiE who recently
appeared before the Americans clad i'll a
red helmet, two flannel shirts, an even.
| ing dress suit with the coat under the
vest and the trousers for a cape, gray
socks and jug Of alcohol, That was
his idea of good taste and he had a
right to it, but | deny his right to de-
clare it the only style. Yet we are
slaves to styles which in the light of
| higher civilization, are almost ridicu.
lous. 1t should be correct form to wear
those things which look best on your
own individual carcass, but it isn't by a
4 long shot-for if the leader of fashion
| happens to have club foot which COM
| pels him to wear cross between lop-
sided flat boat and kicked COW for al
shoe, fashion declares that we must all
wear the same. 1t was 80 century or
so ago when shoes Invented by Count
Fulk of Anjou to hide an excrecence on
one Of his hoofs) had toes so long as to
be fastened to the knees with gold
chains. A year or so ago some CHOPPED
Englishman with foot like Digger
Indian squaw, happened to be leader of
| fashion and be invented a shoe to fit his
own deformed hoof and says the rest Of
| US must wear it or be out of style, and,
as the factories won't make any other
kind, we have got to wear it and dis
figure our otherwise beautiful chiseled
and POLITICALLY symmetrical feet.
| Clothes do not make the man-in-
deed, they more frequently break him,
yet society turns up its ugly snub nose
at you unless you are dyked out in the
bOSS WulCil SOulC whisky UlOdL
says are the proper stuf-whether you
look worth cuss in them or not. Fash.
ion is not the art Of looking your best
it does not even mean to dress we'll. 1t
means to appear externally to dress
we'll Fashion is all external. The Mig
ger dude summed up the theory of fash.
ion i'll few words when he said: "Wha's
de use OBJ wearing undahclose- nobody
amt gwine to see umn' If the legs Of
your hose are pretty it doesn't make
any difference to society whether they
have feet to them or not, or if you can
wear nice kid gloves and get along in
high society without showing your legs,
which is pretty hard to do nowadays,
you don't need to wear any hosiery at
all. l knew young lady in my youth
last SUMMERTIME dressed fit to kill,
but she tainted one day and the horri-
BILE discovery was made that she didn't
have on any more hose than nature en-
dowed her with. Fashion has a won.