davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
COT RID OF TIE rARANrULA.
The Express Messenger, as Advise d,
Took the Best Means Of Dis
posing of 1t.


A young man wearing a seersucs;er
coat and with big beads OF rcrspiraticn
on his face came into the smoking
car of an Erie railway train as II was
getting along toward the meadows of
Orange county the other day. He was
the express messenger, says the New
York Sun.
I've bagged something" he ex.
claimed. Can anyone tell me what
kind of a pup it is?'
A big man, with long whiskers and
hair and cowboys hat. who was smok-
ing strong plug tobacco in clay pipe.
said:
"Lemme see it,"
The young man held the dinner buck
ct at arms length and raised the lid.
The big man locked into the bucket.
a t'rantuly. by cedar!" he said, and
took the bucket from the young man.
"A t'rantuly, as sure as guns" he
continued. "A citizen Of Bermudy, this
chap is. And beauty, tool
The big man got c 1t Of his seat and
passed the dinner pail around among
TIE passengers. 1t was nearly half
full of something that seemed to be all
hair and claws and eyes. No one seemed
pleased with the sight except The big
man. 1t was a tarantula sure enough.
"A unanimous request was made by
the rest of the passengers that the
h;deous SPIDER be pitched out of the
window. But the big man gazed a, he
deadly thing with undis;urbed inter-
est
Where did you run ag'in him. he
asked the express messenger
Game out of bunch o bananas in
my car replied the young man. II
cornered him and he jumped into my
dinner buckle; and shu, him in. What
is he good for?"
He's first-class benefactor of the
corcner when he's 10 home" said the
big man. If there's any feller citizen
of your'u that you'd like to have =
funeral at his house Just take this
stowawSy from Bermuda home with
you and turn him in your fellow-siti-
zen's garden. Ii your fellow-citizen
fools around much in his garden you'll
see craze en- his door in less than two
days. Tie t'rantuly is pizen for keeps
TO hem as hain't ,acoinated for tran
tu.ies. III | was you. young man. I'd
take this chap and le, your locomotive
run over him. \ good. strong locomo-
tive is about the only thing that kin
tackle enc o these chaps and make a
success al it
The bag man handed the dinner
l, bucket back to its owner. who took it
and carried ii away. When the train
left the next station he came in and
said that the train had met the tran
aniula. ard that 90 feet of grease spot
and pint or so Of legs and hair had
indicated that the locomotive had won.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
INVENTIONS OF THE PAST.
COUNTLESS Models OF the Patent OAes
Show what Progress Has
Been MAde.

The experience of the patent Office
with its hall of models" throws an in
teresting light upon the progress of
American invention. For many years
the government required an applicant
for a patent to submit model of his
invention. If the invention were a ma
chine, none of the three dimensions of
models were displayed in showcases on
the upper floor This extensive collec-
ton of little engines, pumps and now
ing machines came to lcok somewhat
like a toy shop, and to it hundreds Of
visitors were attracted, says Youths
Companion.
But so long ago as 1850 it became ev-
ident that the practice of receiving
models must be discontinued. The
space they occupied was needed by the
Office for it's regular business. So the
models then on hand were sorted over,
and the most interesting ones were re-
tanned, appropriately grouped. as a
patent Office museum. They have since
been frequently sent, as part of the
governments exhibit. to great fairs
like that at Chicago in 1893.
The rest of the models are now kept
on two .floors-of large storehouse near
the post Office, which have been rented
for that purpose. The few visitors who
chance to stroll through that wilder
ness Of showcases are reminded of the
diverse channels in which American in
ventiveness has sought an outlet.
1t is singular fact that, to under
stand machine, the patent Office ex-
aminers prefer a mechanical drawing
to an actual model. so trained have they
become in translating the convention
al marks of diagram into the ply steal
reality for which it stands.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

Britain makes 3c0,00O,000 yards Oh
linen a year.
Railways use up over 100000 tone
of steel year, almost half of the
worlds product.
Consul Schumann, of Mainz, notes
that a German sample room has beer
opened at constantinople.
According to Blanco's work on the
fora of the Philippines, there are 20
genera of palms, with 81 species, on
those islands.
A French scientist has found Z
name for the finger-biting habit. He
calls it onychophagia, from the Greek,
meaning nail eating.
The German consul general at Sgd.
ney reports to his home government
that the Australian market has been
largely taken possession of by Amer.
lean industry.
In some grottoes in Algeria French
explorers have recently discovered
stone implements mingled with the
remains Of extinct animals belonging
to quaternary times.
A French scientific journal warns
it's readers against the time-honored
custom of using spiders webs to stop
bleeding. II IS claimed that webs are
peculiarly liable to be infected with
microbes. and among other affections
that have been traced to the use Of
cd dusty spiders webs bound upon
wounds is the dreaded tetanus or lock.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Must Pay for Medals.

1t seems somewhat ridiculous that
man who has gained prize shall
have to pay for it. Such is the case
with respect to the prizes gained by
many of the exhibitors at the exhibi-
ton. Gold and silver medals have
been awarded by the hundred, but
instead of such medals being actually
of gold and silver, they will be Of
bronze, unless the successful exhibitors
choose to pay for them. The prize win
ners have just been informed that those
who have gained silver medal can
have one of real silver-one weighing
100 grammes-by paying 20 francs,
while the happy recipient of gold med
al can receive the genuine article
weighing approximately 200 grammes
for the trjfiing sum of TO francs.
They sometimes do strange things in
France.-Paris Messenger.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Her IAea Of II.

81 don't see how anyone can lose
money in speculation" she remarked,
thoughtfully.
do you consider il SO simpler he
asked.
"Why, certainly. AS understand It.
all you have to do is to buy when things
are going up and sell when they are
coming down.
"But how are you going to know
which way they are going?" he in'
quired.
"why-why. ( never thought Of
that" she answered. ut does make
a difference, doesn't it?"-Chicago
Post,
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
J.st the R,sht Tsp~.

HE says he has settled down to
business again." remarked the com
mon friend.
Hes hit it exactly" exclaimed the
merchant. HE couldn't have chosen
a better term. He has settled down,
but he hasn't settled up."-Chicago
Post.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06

Uncle Abner-Se,h amt what I call
thick-and-thin party man.
Uncle Hiram-Why. he never votes
anything but the regular ticket.
Uncle Abner-Ycs, but he's allus
willin' to admit that the country may
not be ruined if the other fellers get
in.-Brooklyn Life.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06

Higgins-Was that your son saw
with you yesterday?
Wiggins-ies; did you think he
looks like me?
Higgins thought those made-over
pants looked like the pair you used to
wear.-Boston Transcript.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06

In each beehive are number O..
nursing bees who DO not go out to
gather honey, but look after the eggs
and young. md a certain number are
always told of to @ysntilate hive.
These stand close to the entrance and
fan strongly with their Wings
Science.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Took Too Much.

Mrs. Gadd-Did you ever? I heard
Deacon De Goode come home last
night bowling drunk.
Mrs. Gabb-Oh, you're mistaken.
The deacon was out with some TEN.
perance men, and took too many
temperance drinks. that's all.
But he howled like a dervisher."
THAT wasn't drunk; that was
collie ~. y. Weekly.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
What Pushed Her.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak - There's one
thing about my husband never could
understand
Mrs. Yeast-And what's that?
"Why, when he comes home late he
can't find the keyhole, but when he
gets inside, from the noise he makes.
he seems to find everything in the
room,"-Yonkers statesman.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06

"Tommy. how do you explain that
part of the verse which says: As
fool dieth?' How does fool die?"
He dyes his whiskers, ma'am."-
Chicago Tribune.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
TIE kA1I0N's sANlIARluM.l


{ I
Co,,r.do 4 Seutlera K,i!w'y.
The Hot Springs If Arkansas al.
ownsd by the U. s. government ane
have its Endorsement for the cue o.
rheumatism, neuralgia. catlIrh, grippe
and a s1ore more OF humln ailments
SPLENDID winter cimate and 100 hotel:
Of al! grades. W.ite Bureau OF lnior
n l,ior, Hot Springs, FIR ILLUSTRATED
book givjr g all il formation. For ra'e'
a: d pa,,i ulars OF the ir ?, call OF or ad
dress nearest ticket agent OF the Coo
radu & Southern RI, or w,i;e l. +
E sher, G.. p. a, Deliver, Colo. II Int
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Two ExceIle,t Reasons.

"Why did you lynch him. we asked
of the mob.
"Well, he confessed
This seemed reasonable, but again
we asked:
why did you lynch the other man?
because he wouldn't confess. con
sarn him!"--Town Topics.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06

Shs-You haven't told me you loved
me once to-day.
He-And you haven't asked me II I
love you since day before yesterday.
The honeymoon. shuddering, saw its
Embellishments Pess.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
How We DiRer.

'Tn China" remarked the first, -
man who commits crime often gets
another to take his punishment and
gives him money for it."
I'm this country" replied the Sec
ord, "a man who commits a crime
may swear it on to another and give
him the laugh for it.''-Chicago Post.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
A Coed Reason.

Householder-This bill Of yours Il
twice a. much az it should be.
Plumber-Well, my man wac in
your house twice as long as he ought
to have been.-Brooklyn Life.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
why He Tr~upeA.

Housekeeper-1'd just like to know
why you 20 tramping through the
country
Mouldy Mike-Well, mum. I've heard
that these ere palace cars Il rather
stuny, NUM-. Y. Weekly.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
= Man,s Explanation.

"Why does . woman read the last
chapter of q novel frst?"
ITO make sure that she shall have
the last word, I sappose.""-Town
Topics.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Somewhat Cohfss4ag.

To get our names straight have striven.
But the problem seems accursed:
Ones FIRST name" Is the last he's given.
While the last name II the nrst.
-ChicAGo Post.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Gooa T1me. :. swit.e,l..a.

Laborers are SO scarce in Switzerland
that they have to be imported, not only
from Italy, but from Bohemia and
Silesia.-N. Y. Sun.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
The Neeessary start.

Chappie-She says I'm the hrst man
she Was ever engaged to.
She-Well, she's got to begin On
somebody, hasn't she?-Smart Set.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06

Mr.. Parvenu-Waiteri Bring mo =
bottle Of champagne. ~.
Waiter-Yes, sir. Dry. ar5
Mr.. Parvenu-It's none Of your bust
ness whether I'm dry or not.-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
Use Prof. Fields worm powders. 4
,ing,e trial proves their worth.

Low Rats
ID nvsr TO Butte. Helena and Anaoon'
da s,,. Denver u Spokan-, Portland.
Tlcom,, and Seattle SIS via the Burling-
ten K u.e-sfo:t line. Tickets on sale
Februa'y l.. 10 and 26 and March 5. II.
10 and IS Ask YOUR ticket agent tor
full inf rma.ion.
G.. w. VALLERY.
Gsusral Agent. Denver.
Daily camera. [volume] (Boulder, Colo.) 1891-1928, 1901-02-06
WIlVEeCARDU1

3GI1y, xas, ~. ~ ~
Dog3od0 10 3 t00R ume; Was nervous, ~ -
sppSG35a, "a ~ Interest in svssytAinO =
ia ~ 01o0g0Aso, h9vo talEsn foa4 b0ee3o0
Of Wino c Oa1611 VtlA lack-DFan0A1 WIN
s e: e 49, i g; ~, q; -
~ ~. DELLA \. s11XYA
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
Terrier and Retriever.

A little black-and-tan terrier dog,
named Beau. and his owner were at
Penmaenmawr. They were one day
on the sands. and were overtaken by
the tide, which cut them off from the
shore by belt of water. A bathing
machine came up and took Off the
dogs owner. Beau refused to enter
the machine. of which he seemed to
be suspicious. The owner gives the
following account of what happened:
when l found myself on the beach
looked for my dog thinking that he
would probably come swimming after
the machine. But no; the little idiot
was still on the island. yelping and
barking in great distress, and l called
to him for a long time, bidding him
swim across, as l knew that he could
use his limbs almost as well in water
as on land. But the naughty animal
would not come. and meanwhile the
sea was gaining on the sand. and Beau
had scarcely space to stand and whine.
playing near me on the beach was
a large rough-haired brave dog-a sort
vi hoiI-oiSu iOIiiONSi' ohooio sup
pose. He perceived the fix we were
in, and suddenly dashed through the
water and went up to Beau and said
something to him, but my little dog
would not heed. so the big dog return
ed to shore alone. BY this time the
sea had risen around my little terrier
and he was himself like a tiny black
andtan island. Now what did the
brave dog do? For second time / !
dashed through the water. and stood
beside the shivering, yelping creature;
then he went behind Beau, and very
gently but firmly pushed him through
the water toward the place where /
was standing. AS soon as they were
both fairly in the deep sea, and it
seemed to be case of sink or swim
with Master Beau, the wise. brave
dog let him go, and with few vigor-
Gus strokes brought himself to shore.
Beau, having received such an impe-
tus, very soon presented himself drip
ping and breathless at my feet, amid
the applause of the assembled multi
tude. The brave dog, like true hero,
made no fuss about what he had done,
and | had nothing to give him but a
pat on the head.'-The Weekly
Bouquet.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28

~ % be kind to other people," crisd
the little Hyena, kicking his heels In
the air. And. as soon as it grew dark,
he set off to find Mr.. Gloomy.
The old Hyena lived in very dark
cave! but the little Hyena trotted
boldly in. and marched up to Mr..
Gloomy, who was gnawing bone, and
looked very cross.
"Ha! ha! ha!' laughed the little
Hyena
The night passed on; and. as the
little Hyena did not return. his
mother called Stripes to her.
"Do you know where your brother
is?" she asked.
"Oh, yes" answered Stripes. "he
said he was going to make Mr.. Gloomy
laugh"
What nonsense! Why, he may be
killed by this time!" cried Mr.. Hyena;
and, followed by Stripes and her
mother. away he went to the cave
where Mr.. Gloomy lived.
AS they came near the cave, they
stopped, and looked at each other in
surprise. Surely that was the little
Hyena's voice, and surely that was
Mr.. Gloomy laughing with him. 'Ha!
ha! ha! Ho! ho! no! He! he! he!"
they went.
Stripes ran in, father and mother
quickly followed; and there was her
little brother sitting on Mr.. Gloomy's
knee, and both laughing away with all
their might.
I'm so glad you've come" said
the little Hyena. "Do you know what
we've been doing?"
mo What?" asked Stripes.
We've been making riddles" said
the little Hyena Here's one. Why
do we all laugh at nothing?"
"We give it up," they all cried.
Because there's nothing to laugh
at" answered Mr.. Gloomy.
"Ho! ho! hot" chuckled Mr.. Hyena.
"Ho! he! he!" said Mrs. Hyena.
"Haw! haw! haw!" shouted Mr.
Gloomy.
ooh! oh! OH" cried Stripes. and
"Ha! ha! ha." laughed the little
Hyena.-CasselPs Little Folks.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
New Washington.

"The new Washington" says an
English writer in the London Specta-
tor lis clean and beautiful. 1t is
doubtful whether any such delightful
residential street as Massachusetts,
avenue is to be found on the globe.
American domestic architecture is as
successful as public architecture is
expensive and often bad, but in these
Washington avenues it is carried to
the height Of comfort and beauty.
The green, well watered, fenceless
lawns, the grouping of gables and
oriels, the pretty porches and exquisite
trees and flowers combine to give a
most delightful series of pictures.
There is not the ostentation of New
York or Chicago, but there is more
charm"
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
MIR. chambsrI.in's Personality.

1t must be admitted that Mr.. Cham
berlain enjoys great power and engen-
ders sympathy. He came to Italy when
all the Italian papers contained ar.
ticles against him on the question of
the Italian language In Malta. Never
theless. he showed himself with the
greatest nonchalance in the streets of
Naples and Rome. He made known his
views on Italy and on her future. and
explained the Maltest language from
his point of view. And now he has
left the Italians with an entirely sym.
pathetic remembrance OF his visit
Rome II Pungolo Parlamentare.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
Shot Dead bv a Corpse.

A Boer commando retook those
lines where those who died for us
were lying, and as they marched
among our dead they saw sergeant
lying at full length, shot through the
brain, yet even in death the man
looked. like some fighting machine
suddenly gone out of order His rife
was pressed against his shoulder, his
left hand grasped the barrel on the
under side. the forefingers of the right
hand pressed the trigger tightly, the
barrel rested out upon rock and his
death-dulled eye still glared along the
sights, for dissolution had come to
him just as he bent his head to fire
at those who shot him. and now his
hands had stiffened in the unbendable
stiffness of eternal sleep. A Boer sol
dier saw the sergeant as he lay, and
with rude hands grasped the rifle by
the barrel and tried to jerk it from
the dead mans grip, but as he pulled
he brought the rife in line with his
own breast. and the unyielding finger
on the trigger did the rest, the rife
spoke from the dead mans hand. and
the bullet, passing through the Beers
heart, laid him beside the Briton.
Sounds like journalistic lie, does
1t not? Read it In a novel, and you
would laugh. would you not? But it Is
the eternal truth. all the same, for the
comrade of the Boer who died that
day, killed by a dead man. told me the
tale himself.and he was one of those
who planted the dead Dutchman on
the slope of Spion Kop.-London
News.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
Ha! IN! hal

"Ha! ha! ha!" laughed the little
Hyena.
What are you laughing at now?"
asked his sister Stripes. running up.
II was thinking of the old Hyena,
Mr.. Gloomy. you were telling me
about who never laughs. How funny.
Ha, ha, ha." he answered.
Il don't think it's very funny. lie
must be either very unhappy or very
cross" cried Stripes.
For minute or two the little Hyena
looked grave. Then lac laughed again.
"Ifa, ha. ha. I've thought of such a
lovely plan" he cried. "fii go and
make Mr.. Gloomy laugh"
You can't, Don't be so silly, Why,
he'd eat you all up. Besides, I'm sure
mother would not like IT," said
Stripes.
Yea. she would. she's always telling
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
The Birds Breakfast.

The white flakes came floating DOWN
ward
Till the earth was covered with snow,
And hid were the trees and bushes
And all beautiful things that grow.
Then Mr.. and Mrs. Birdie,
Seeing what had come in the night,
Looked sadly at one another,
And they both exclaimed IN aHrlght:
"Oh. chez, chez, chee!
Oh, me, me, me!
Where on earth can our breakfast
be?'
Then came a sweet little maiden,
Saying, Brides, dear, have no fears;
I've breakfast here for both of us,
And I'll share it with you, dears."
She opened her little window
And scattered the crumbs on the sill
And called to them, Come. come,
birdies,''
And the brides answered, I'VE will;
For chez, chee, chee, chez,
We can plainly see
There's plenty for you and plenty for
me-"
Trenton IN. J.) American.
Republican news item. [volume] (Laport, Pa.) 1896-19??, 1901-02-28
Friendly Cats.

Cat lovers are not ashamed now of
orites, as a handsome. talented" cat
is the fad now for pet. | do not be-
lieve in the great selfishness attrib-
uted to cats, but know that they are
extremely self-willed and of high
strung nature. just as some human
beings are. and some who are the
best friends man or woman ever had.
There is always cat in our house
hold, upon whom much petting and
many dainties are lavished. BLACK
Billy" has never been taught tricks
other than to turn door knobs and to
lay his head in my hand. and game
of peek-a-boo, but it is my belief that
he understands many words spoken
without particular emphasis or in
Election of voice SO that one can by no
means intimate the meaning. His
greatest failing is his adoption of waif
cats with whom he shares food and
bed often to his own discomfort.
Much more wonderful is the gro
tesquely homely Moses" belonging
to friend, who rings a suspended
bell when he is hungry and jumps
through a hoop, plays dead, assumes
devotional attitude. and has a dozen
more tricks. His favorite dainty is
scrambled egg and he gets it often,
even if the owner takes the trouble
to cook it at an unreasonable hour
when he comes home late and un-
usually battered; for he has his
faults.