davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

eyes, sir. said the patient salesman,
awe shown YOU our entire stock Of
gold and silver watch-chains."
"Well, they amt the kind | want"
replied the cranky customer. Il don't
propose to buy what don't want"
Certainly not, sir. Perhaps you
want a steel one"
whats thati Jest you come out
here, an I'll show you If | want to
steal One!'-Cathollc Standard.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
AMI Explanation

Mrs. Brown-My husband never says
ANYTHING to me about the way his
mother used to cook.
Mrs. Green-That's something un-
usual. | wonder why he doesn't?
Mrs. BrOwn-She used to keep a
boarding house-ChIcagO News.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Peasant-After you've let the case
drag along now for three years, you've
lost it for me!
Lawyer-Hm! That's what get for
my good nature-I might have let it
drag along for three years more!-
Heitere Welt.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
Everrhodr Wants Il

"Well, the Northern Pacific corner
didn't last long. That shows how hard
it is to get corner in railroads"
"Yes, and If you've noticed, it's next
to impossible" replied the end seat
hog, ito get a corner in street cars
Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
ma. Future FIeIa.

"John says he'll have his graduation
papers purity soon."
whats he been a-larnln' Off
Greek, an Latin, an French an
German, an so FORTH
AN what's he goin' to do after he
comes clearT
"well ef he don't go to splittin' rails
or farmln', reckon he'll spend the rest
Of his days a-wrltin' Of dlalectP-At-
lanta Constitution.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

81 wonder where the entrance to the
subway is" said lady standing on
fremont street on her first visit TO Bos-
ton.
81 don't know, I'm sure replied the
lady who was with her, "but let's 90
over here. Here's a door with sign
exit over -Somervllle Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
Her Misapprehensiou.

Mr.. Crimsonbeak.- Well, see that
Engllshman has got his GainsbOrOugh
back, after twenty years.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-I shouldn't think
his wife would care for it now; It's out
Of style.
"Out nothing; picture as valuable
as that is never out of style"
"Oh, is it picture? l thought all
along that the Gainsborough was a
hat!'-Yonkers Statesman.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
The Fir.t oue.tIon.

81 see that an indiana court has de-
cided that a passenger travelling on a
pass can recover damages for Injuries
due to carelessness OF the train em-
ployes"
"Yes, but ho wdO you get the passT
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
Typical Fire Escapes.

Guest What precautions have you
here in case of fire?
Hotel Clerk-We have fire escapes
from every floor. All you have to do
is to make your way to one Of them
and fall off. New York Weekly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Old Merchant-W Where is your refer

Old Merchant-Where Is your reIer-
ence2
Tommy Tucker (who wants a job as
office boy)-Heres one from my Sun
day school teacher, sir.
Old Merchant-We don't want you to
work on Sundays. Get me a reference
from some one who knows you on week
daya
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
CHAPTER XII.

The summer was drawing to close,
and with it Mary's school, She had sue
ceeded in giving satisfaction to the en-
tire district. Mr.. knight, with whom
Mary was a great favorite, offered her
the school for the coming winter, but she
had decided upon attending school her,
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
Not CompYl mentary.

Briggs says his daughter. looks like
him. Did you ever see her"
mo, and never want TO see her II
she looks like Briggs" s."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
The AftnrcInp

Husband Thank heaven, houseclean'
ing Is over.
Wife Yes, dear but the pictures are
yet to be hung.-Ohlo State Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

education may be good thing"
said the man with the stubby mus
tache, "but If my parents had not In
stilled in my mind so great a reverence
for grammar | am almost sure | could
have been a poet."-Indanapolis Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

"What do you think of the Chicago
professor who says he never kissed a
pretty girlT" said one young woman.
ooh, | don't stop to think answered
the other. 81 have no time to listen to
other peoples troubles. Washington
Star
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
For AlICauses. =.

Man loves to kick with might and main
Sad sounds best fit his mouth.
He'll first complain about the rain
And then about the drouth.
-Washington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Mr.. PoOre-Will nothing induce you
to marry2
Miss Witte-On the contrary 1t is
the nothing you have which induces me
not to marry
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
His Imagination.

Percollum-What are you working at
so feverishly?
Spacer-Pve got an assignment to
write an article on How to BE Happy
Though Moving g"-Chicago Tribune.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
Too Noisy.

Biffer-My wife is subject to nervous
headaches; can't stand bit Of noise.
Buffer-ToO bad!
Bilfer-Yes; why even had to sell
my new golf suit.-Ohio State Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Slopay-I want you to make another
suit for me.
Tailor (reluctantly)-Yes?
Slopay-Yes. Now, let me see some
thing in the way of check
Tail0r-All right, but suppose you do
the same for Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
A Yerr Long Sermon.

Bobby-Say, pop, how much did you
put in the collection plate?
His Papa-Sh A dime, Bobby.
BObby-That preacher Is certainly
giving you an awful lot for your money.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Son Cat his studies) wish l
had been born In the time OF Charlie
magne.
Father-Why2
Son-Then | wouldn't have had to
learn everything that has happened
.-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Mr.. FiJJlt-Our friend Eplcure has
gotten out a new cook book.
Mrs. FiJJlt-That's nice; Is II going to
be dramatlzed? ?-Ohio State Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
Could Not Re Repeated.

81 met Higginbee and he stopped me
to tell me what his little boy said, but
I'll bet one thing"
Huh! What's thaty'
"Pll bet he didn't tell his boy what
said. indianapolis Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Ethel-He telegraphed his proposal
to her.
Maude-And did she accept him?
Ethel-No; she said that she had no
use for a man who would waste his
money on telegraph tolls instead Of
spending 1t for caramels.-Someryille
Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
More Afraid of Losing the Girl.

aren't you afraid to keep such
pretty girl in your kitchen? You may
lose your husband"
Il guess you don't know that the
present ratio is something like nifty
husbands to one competent girl
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Does Mr.. Blllionson play golf"
mo, He works at golf. When he
wants a little real diversion he goes
into the stock market. et.'-Wash!ngton
Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

What terrible lot of time is wasted
in the course d life time, in waiting
at table to be served with something
not fit to eat!
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

odd, Curious and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por-
trayed by Eminent Word Artists OF
Our Own Day-A Budget Of Fun.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Ned-Does Arthur play golf an Sun
day?
Tom-Well. he thinks he does.--Som-
erville Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

A hard working man looks disdain-
fully at the man who has to take ex-
ercise.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

II Satan ever gets short OF fuel he
ought to be able to use excuses.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Mr.. Backward Well-er-yes, since
you ask me, | was thinking Of consult
ing fortune teller.
Miss COy-To find out when you will
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Polish usually exaggerates the re
fections Of a fool.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-06-21

Mr.. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. /
Miss Coy-Why not ask me and save
the fortune-teller's fee toward the
price of the ring ?-Philadelphi Press.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
CURES CONTAGIOUS BLOOD POI.
SON.



It is especially the deep-seated OBJ
stinate cases that b. b. b. cures it
matters rot II the doctors or patent
medicines have failed to cure. B. b.
.B. botanic Blood Baln) always
promptly reaches the poison and roots
out and drains it from the system,
heals every sore or pimple. stops hair
from falling out, and cures the disease
so the symptoms can never return.
b. B. B. cured X p. b. Jones. At
lanta, Ca, Of contagious blood poison;
had copper-colofed eruptions all over
the body, excruciating pains and aches
in bones and joints. failing Of the hair,
sore throat. His troubles resisted the
treatment of the most noted doctors.
yet he was completely cured by ten
bottles of Botanic Blood Balm (B. B.
b Robert Ward, Maxey, Ca, suffer.
ed from secondary and tertiary blood
poison. face and shoulders a mass OF
corruption and sores; began to eat into
the skull bones; eleven bottles Of B.
B.B.completely cured him. II you have
eczema, cancer, scrofula, risings, poils,
ulcers. then B. b. B. win make a per
feet cure.
Druggists 81, with complete direct.
ions for home treatment. Trial treat
ment free by writing Blood Balm Co.,
Atlanta, Ga. Describe your troubles
and we will include free personal medi-
cal advice over 5000 cured by B. B.
B. Eagle Drug store
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
BOUGHT THREE FARMS.
}. J. Board, Of Knox County, Missouri,
Delighted With Oklahoma.

}. J. Board, Of Knox County, Missouri,
Delighted With Oklahoma.
Mr. J. J. Board, OF Knox county.
Missouri, has found IT, Recently he
and his two boys have been reading
about the wonderful productiyeness Of
Oklahoma. and II was agreed among
them that the father should come
down and survey the field and report.
The old gentleman came straight TO
Guthrie, and a day or two afterwards
took a run over the county east Of the
city and when he came TO the neigh.
borhood of Cowboy Flat he was
heard to exclaim, this Is enough, p
and before nightfall be had purchased
three fine farms and paid for them,
Returning to Guthrie he telegraphed
his hoys to come on as quickly as
possible and that he would remain
here to receive them and conduct
them to his purchases
MI BOARD and his boys are lifelong
Democrats.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
rAe sssr rssr
Is the Service and Experience Of
Years.

Is the Service and Experience Of
Years.
The best soldier is not the new re-
cruit OF few months service.
The best mechanic is not the ap-
prentice. and the best man in the line
is he who has been tried by years Of
service and experience.
This is not only true Of men but Of
nearly everything else and especially
is IL true OF medicines for diseases.
New remedies must be thoroughly
tested and their merit established be-
yond question before the intelligent
public will put faith IN them.
There are not many remedies which
have stood the test of ten years and
continued to increase in popularity
each year, but this Is true OF the Pyra-
mid Pile Cure. and II is the only pile
cure that has stood this test, and
among the many popular medicines ON
the market It Is the only one which
can be said to have no compet,Jor; its
sale has steadily increased from year
to year and this result has been not SO
much because Of judicious advertis.
ing as because it has been recon.
meaded by word OF mouth from one
cured sufferer to another
Piles is supposed 20 be caused in
most cases by a sedentary life and
lack OF exercise bnt it generally comes
without any apparent excuse and
often people who live an active out
door life are victims Of the disease, a
case I'm point is that Of James Greed
don. mmberman and teamster n
Northern Michigan. He says. 81
suffered for eight or nine years from
itching and protruding piles some
times so severely that / could scarcely
walk. then I would get better for a
week or two. but the trouble always
returned | could not afford the ex.
ponse Of an operation and endured
the disease until was advised by my
mother, who lived in Manistee, to give
the Pyramid Pile Cure a trial.
II had never heard Of It but when
went to town asked my druggist
about it and he told me he had sold II
for years and never had a complaint
OF It's failureito cure piles.
Il bought a package and found not
only relief but a permanent cure after
several weeks regular use.
"One OF the best things about the
Pyramid Pile Cure I found 10 be It's
convenience, being in suppository
form and used at night. it did not in
terfere with my daily work and is
simple and painless.
An druggists in United states and
Canada sell the Pyramid Pile Cure at
20 cents per package.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
4 MOST LIBERAL OFFER.

should take advantage OF the unprece-
dented clubbing oifer we. this year.
make, which includes with this paper
The Kansas city Live stock Indicator,
it's special Farmers Institute Editions
ond the Poultry Farmer These three
publications are the best OF their class
and should ha in every farm home. To
them we add, for local, county and
general news, our own paper, and
make the price of the four one year
Only S125. Never before was so much
superior reading matter offered for
Sc small an amount of money. The
three papers named, which we clab
with our own, s.IG well known through
out the West and commend themselves
to the readers favorable attention up
On mere mention. The Kansas City
Live Stock Indicator is the great agri-
cultural and live stock paper Of the
West; The Poultry Farmer is the most
practical poultry paper for the farmer,
while The Special Farmers" Institute
Editions are the most practical publi-
cations for the promotion of good farm
ing ever published. Take advantage
Of this great offer, as it will hold good
Tor q short time only. Samples OF
these papers may be examined by cali
ing at this Office.
The seat sale IS now on at Wallace's
drug store for Faust which viii be
presented at the Brooks theater Sat
urday night
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

Many bright and happy household
has been thrown into sadness and
sorrow because Of the death Of a
loved one from neglected cold,
Bailard's Horehourd syrup is the
great cure for coughs. colds and all
pulmonary ailments. Price, 25 and so
cents.
+. 3. Lille & Co, and Wheeler q
Son.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
Chronic conatInatIon cured.

W. r. Trott, 355 Garfield avenue,
Chicago writes. For the past ten
years / have suffered with chronic
constipation and have tried many of
the laxativea on the market with lit
tie or no results. tried Bailey's Lax
alive Tablets and was more than
pleased with the results. It Is the
only medicine that has afforded me
permanent relief and l take great
pleasure in recommending 1t to any
one suffering from constipation and
It's results" Chocolate coated 20
tablets for 10 cents. 60 for 25 cents.
postpaid The active principle is
cascara sagrada the only known cure
for constipation. Made by Lakeside
Med Co, Chicago. Sold by c. r. Rem
fro, druggist
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

For.Entertainment Of Statehood Dele
gates.
The following gentlemen have been
aEpointod by President Fegan Of the
cbthrie club. committee on enter
ttinment Of delegates at the state
rood convention: J. W. McNeal,
Judge Dale, c. r. Renfro, j. J. Boles,
Frank Olsmith, c. II. Filson, c. r,
Brooks.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

deficiency appropriation bill of mn ap-
propriaSion Of $4,000 to enable the de-
partment to survey and huot the lands
Of the Wichlta reservation. Chairman
Cannon. Of the appropriation commit
tee OF the house has assured Delegate
Flynn that The appropriation win be
made az soon Hs the deficiency bill is
taken up.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

THE GUTHRIE PUBLIC LIBRARY
upstairs over Finney's harness shop on
oklahoma ave. Open Wednesdays and
Saturday from to 6 p. m. Come up
and see the new books.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

whosoever has suffered from PIES
knows how painful and troublesome
they are. Tabier's Buckeye Pile olnt.
nent Is guaranteed TO cure piles.
Price, SO cents in bottles. Tubes. rs
cents
F. B. Lille q Co, and Wheeler q
Son. "a
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

For Memphis and all points East and
Southeast take the choctaw route
Two daily fast trains. vestsbuled, Pull
man sleepers. free reclining chair cars
ges lighted and steam heated.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
Reduced Rates For stateaood Cor.

Reduced Rates For Statehood Con-
ventlon.
Arrangements are being made for
reduced rates for the statehood CON
yention on the basis Of one and one
third fare fog fouad trip, on the GER
tlhcate plan The convention meets
u this city. at pm, on Wednesday.
Jan. sO
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

To accommodate those who are partial
to tho use Of atomizers ia applying liquids
into the nasal passages for catarrhal tr0U-
bies, the proprietors prepare Cream Balm in
liquid form, which will be knownlas Elys
Liquid Cream Balm. Price including the
spraying tube is 75cents. Druggists or by
mail The liquid form embodies the med
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

Nasal Catarrh quickly yields to treat
nent by Ely's Cream Balm, which is agree
ably aromatic. II is received through the
nostrils, cleanses and heals tho whole sur
face over which it diifuses ITSELF Druggists
sell the SOC. size; Trial size by mail, 10
cents. Test il and you are sure to continue
tho Treatment
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29
An ExceIlent Comblnation.

The pleasant method aud beneficial
Effects of the we'll known rcipedy
SYRUP oF FI0a, manufactured by the
CALIFORNIA EiG SYRUP Co, illustrnte
the value of obtaining the liquid luXa-
tive principles Of plants known 20 be
incidentally laxative and presenting
thom Ia the form most refreshing 20 the
taste and acceptable to the system. III
Is the ono perfect strengthening laNa-
tive, cleansing the system eiiectually
dispelling colds. headaches aud fcvers
gently vet promptly and enabling one
toovercome habituai constipation per-
manently Its perfect freedom from
every Objectionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels. without weakening
or irritating them, make II the idenl
laxative.
In the process OF manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant 10 the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from senna and
other aromatic plants, by q method
known to the CALIFORNIA fIo SYRuP
Co. only In order TO get its beneficial
effects aud 90 avoid limitations, please
remember the full name Of The Company
printed on tho front OF every package,
CALIFORNIA c FIG SYRUP CO.
sam FRANuIsco. CAL,
DoUgavu.rK. ky. NHw YORK. ~ X.
Eoraale BY an Druggists --Price boc per pottie
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

Our BLANKS can be relied upon absolutely cor
rect Prices on application in any quantity
from to 100000 Address.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

Dr. billiards. Jag resort is doing a
brisk business.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1901-01-29

Nm TIINNIIHlUl NHIl
uoUYavuHE. KY. WHW YORK. ~ X.
oraale BY an DruggiEih --Priceboc per postie
The Delta independent., 1901-07-05
ANNUAL LOG ROLLING.

The head Camp, Woodmen OF the
World have decided to hold their annual
log rolling for this district at Montrose
on August 8. Montrose Camp No. 50 is
preparing to entertain visiting neighbors
in manner beftting such an occasion.
at meeting OF the camp committee
was appointed to arrange for Il good time
for all on the arrival of visiting neighbors,
and the following prizes to be given for
especial merit as souvenirs of the visit
First prize, sill; banner, for largest at
tending delegation from any one camp,
membership considered.
Second prize, silk banner, for largest
number OF candidates brought for initia-
ton by any camp, membership consider
ed.
Third prize, silk banner, to best drilled
team.
All prizes to be the property of camp
winning same.
In addition to above there will be
prizes given for log saving, log chopping,
chip picking etc.
Montrose camp will not enter prize
contests.
In the afternoon Of August 8 there
will be a grand Woodman parade in which
all Woodmen will participate.
1t is earnestly desired that all Wood
men in the district attend this annual
log rolling and Montrose camp assures
all visiting neighbors hearty welcome
and fun galore.
The public drill for a prize. the initia-
ton Of probably $50 candidates and
other features will make this meeting
one no Woodman can afford to miss and
grand opportunity to advance the
cause of Woodcraft the greatest frater-
nal insurance order on earth.
The head camp has secured low rail
road rates.
The Delta independent., 1901-07-05
rzonE INDIAN LAND.

The next scramble for Indian land will
be in Idaho. That portion of the Fort
Hall reservation which has been ceded
will probably be open to settlement next
September. 1t contains 670000 acres.
The government surveyors have about
completed their work and will soon have
it divided into sections. One of the
principal towns Of the estate-Pocateilo-
is in the reservation and not Il foot of
land outside the Town limits can be
touched until the reservation is opened.
When the surveyors work is completed
the indians will be allotted lands III
severalty and then the president will
issue his proclamation, which is usually
thirty days in advance of the actual
opening. The country is rich one and
its settlement by the whites will be "a
great benefit to the west.