Evening star., 1901-03-19
ONE ON THE NINE INSPECTOR.
How an American Made Him Recall
an Obnoxious Order

How an American Made Him Recall
an Obnoxious Order.
From the Ney York Tribune
when 1 was mining in the Transvaal in
1884," said Parker Johnson of Denver, Col,
yesterday, IAN amusing thing happened.
One of the government mining inspectors
had made himself obnoxious in many ways
to the mine managers. He was one of
those characters who are jealous Of their
own dignity and seek to impress their i'm
POI tance on others by taking full advan-
tage of any power that they may have
This inspector had made himself a general
nuisance to the mine managers by requir-
ing them to do large number of un-
necessary things and to make to him nu-
merous absolutely frivolous reports Final
ly he sent out an order to the effect that
all accidents that occurred in the mines
no matter how insignificant they might
be, must be reported to him. The result of
the injury and the cause thereof he wanted
fully stated.
zone of the mine managers, who was an
American, resolved to satisfy his Curl
osity to the full, and at the same time, II
possible, to render the inspector ridiculous
and teach him a lesson. The following are
exact copies of some Of his reports to the
inspector. The story was too good to
keep, and so they later found their way
into the columns Of the Johannesburg Star.
When the inspector read them there 1t
was said by one who was present that he
used high Dutch, low Dutch and Jack and
the game Dutch in expressing the feelings
that overcame him:
TO the Mining Inspector:
"'Dear Sir: / regret to have to report
two trffing accidents: Ffrst-A boy named
Fife slipped off the ladder in the - ladder
way, and, falling a short distance, slightly
sprained leg and arm. Cause-Handi-
capped with a new pair of shoes. Second
A boy named Jack, by getting caught be-
tween the mechanical haulage cars, had his
stomach squeezed and face scratched.
Cause-Kaffir stupidity
I'm his next report" continued Mr. john
son, ''the mine manager waxed poetical,
and gave free rein to an exuberant mind.
1t was as follows:
ITO the Mining Inspector;
"Dear Sir: One woe upon another's heels
doth tread. so fast they follow. have
three incidents to report for the day:
"'Dick, a native. while toying with a
lathe in the toolshop. lost finger. Cause
Curiosity.
"Dan Boza, native, while cavorting on
the veldt, fell and broke his leg. Cause
The red, red wine.
'Machatana, a native tramboy. while
buckling up his belt, had the fingers of
one hand torn off. Cause--This accident is
wrapped in mystery, and Is inexplieable.
| conjure up that somebody shot him. Sew
eral companions testify to the same ale
| cation. The most careful surgical scru-
| tiny fails to verify this statement. In
quiry elicits no Information Of a satisfac-
| tory nature. Some of the superstitious ma
| tives declare that it is a divine visitation
| for sins. the Kafiir being noted for his ir-
! religion. Indeed, am constrained to con-
| clude. in the face of all the laws Of science.
| that it Is case of effect without cause
| After receiving these and similar re-
ports, and having them published, it en-
tered even into the duh brain Of that dull
Boer that he had bitten on more than he
/ could easily masticate, and the objecfiona-
ble order was recalled