Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-01-06
MR.. BOWsrR'S TRIBULATIONs.
He Strikes a New Thing in the Fuel
Line.


Copyright, 1901, by C. B. Lewis)
1t was o'clock the other evening
when a boy left heavy sack of some
thing at the basement door of the Bow
ser mansion and Mr.. Bowser lost no
time in conveying specimens of it to
the sitting room for Mrs. BOwsers in
spection. they looked like chunks of
asphalt dug up from an old pavement,
and she turned from them with the
| remark
Il suppose somebody has been after
YOU again with patent something or
other"
Have you the slightest idea what
that something or other is?" asked Mr..
| Rowser. with a smile of complacency.
is it plaster to fix the holes in the
cellar floor?"
MY dear woman, | am not in the
plaster business this evening. It is not
plaster or compressed food for the cat.
1t isn't microbe killer nor moth de-
stroyer Will you kindly listen to me
for moment while l give you a few
facts and fgures?'
GO on" she said.
To heat this house and do your
cooking we consume 20 tons of coal per
year. The coal man cheats us out of at
least four tons. That coal must be dug
0Jc ae ha orth ica tn
the surface. loaded on to cars, unloaded
again. loaded into carts and delivered
and even then must De handled again,
to say nothing of the ashes. Can't you
see why it costs so much?'
"Of course
We are only one of 100000 fami-
lies using coal, and there are all the
shops and factories besides Suppose
we had a substitute for coal, some
thing which needed scarcely any han
ding. gave out five times the heat and
left no ashes behind? What would
that substitute be worth to America
to the world at large? No dust no
ashes, no giving LOO pounds for
ton, no clinkers and no waste
Il thought you'd been taken in
again" replied Mrs. Bowser, with
sigh.
"Oh, you did? Very kind of you, in
deed, Well, my friend, I'm going to
disappoint you this time. I'm going
to revolutionize the fuel Of the world.
I'm going to knock out coal until it
won't be worth so cents a ton. Right
there before your eyes is something
which is going to bring me in mill
lions of dollars in the next few years
and make the name of Bowser a house
hold word all over the civilized world.
Millions, Mrs. Bowser millions!"
And he thrust his thumbs into the
armholes of his vest and walked up
and down before her, and the cat came
out from under the piano and walked
after him.
"Well?" she asked to break the long
silence.
Well" he replied. 81 will simply
say to you this evening that l will
heat our house from now on for 10
cents per week, and | will run steam
boat fro n New York to London for
s25. I am now going down TO the
kitchtn TO experiment a little with the
range. Seeing is believing, and l may
call you in about half an hour.
think I'll be able to prove to you that
haven't been wasting my money on a
spring tonic or lightning rod. You
have somehow got the idea that |
don't know enough to buy turnips at
80 cents a bushel, but l rather think
I'll astonish YOU
And now is it another foolin' around
with the hot water pipes or the gas
meter" asked the cook, who knew
something of the experimental nature.
MY dear woman. am going to as
tonish and benefit YOU replied Mr..
Bowser as he approached the range
You've astonished me before. sir.