The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-01-30

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| to see your fathers remains!' he said.
''There was no remains about it, sor,
that | saw, but the old man himself. lie
was sent to Clonmel prison for Fenian-
ism for six and half years six months
before | was born. San Francisco
News Letter.
The superintendent of schools at Spo-
kane. Wash, deSirious of testing the
powers of composition existing in class
of S-yearolds, requested that three SEN
of the three words, bees" boys" and
bear" A small girl laboriously conccoct-
ed the following sentence: boys bees
bare when they go in swimming.
1t used to be said that no gentleman
could be SO ill-bred as to spell correctly.
Like Napoleon, statesmen of the last CEN
fury were too busy in state affairs to
mind photography. The old Duchess OF
GordOn's rule in these matters was a
convenient one:
you know, my dear. when | don't
know how to spell a word | always draw
a line under it, and if it is spelled wrong
it passes for a very good joke, and II 1t
is spelled right it doesn't matter. Wa
verify Magazine.
A Severe Test-Stranger-"Cal your
paper great advertising medium. do
you? 1t isn't worth shucks. put IN an
advertisement last week. and didn't get
an answer, not one" Editor-"My! my
How was your advertisement wordedT'
Stranger" a poor young man wants Il
pretty wife who can do her own house
work. New York Weekly.
Elder Blaine who used to pedde Bibles
for the Bible society advocated the dec
trine of humiliation soul; he
thought it better than being burned in
hell without refOrmatory purpose, at any
rate. One day there were many visitors
at the bookstore-schoo teachers, minis
tiers and others, and among them DR..
Hotchkiss of the Washington Street Bap-
fist church. The subject of the talk was
Humiliation" The doctor said: Il can
not bear to think of it, that l, who have
store was an old man from Black Rock
named Stull, who addressed the doctor
thus:
"There was time when you did not
exist. doctor, was there not!'
of course, certainly there was, re-
"Well." drawled Mr.. Stull, 'were you
particularly uncomfortable in that
StateT'
There was a pause-and there the talk
ended. neither Stull nor the doctor saying
another word. Here endeth the lesson in
the Observation-Disclosures Commercial.
Speaking of the difficulty students ex-
perience in remembering the exact Situa-
ton of the mitral and tricuspid valves of
the heart Prof. Huxley once remarked
that he remembered that the mltral $50
called from its resemblance to the head
gear of the church dignitary) must be ON
the left side, because bishop could
never be in the right
Good evenin', ma am" said the tramp,
presenting himself at the back door, hat
in hand.
''Oh, you're after somethin to eat, |
suppose?'' said the lady, wiping her chin
with her apron.
mo, ma am; you're wrong, lady: /
don't want nothin' to eat. All l want
is the privilege of sleepin' in your barn
overnight. Since these kidnapers have
been about nobody can feel safe out
doors. ''-Y onkers Statesman.
"Wil you please examine this dia-
mond.'' said man who had stepped into
a jewelers. shop, land tell me what you
think of it? If it is a good stone | think
| will buy it"
The jeweler took the gem, which was
unset, and looked at it critically for a
moment. Then, in confidential tones, he
said:
''Well. to tell you the truth, that isn't
a very good stone. 1t hasn't much fire;
it is badly cut and there is something
here very much like a flaw" Then he
held the diamond under microscope and
examined it carefully, finally observing:
No. it isn't exactly a flaw, but /
shouldn't call it perfect stone. Now,
if Won want sonnet HING reallv fna 7 have
here
Excuse me-" the other man interrupt
ed. II don't think I'll buy diamond
today. This is diamond that one Of
your assistants let me take on Saturday
on approval. deposited fS on it, Please
let me have my money and we will de-
clare the deal off. Tit Bits.
y on are my prisoner
But am innocent!
The crisp evening air echoed with the
click of closing gives. How them the
policeman demanded sternly, "does it
happen that your pockets are full of coal
with the monogram carefully obliterat-
ed?-Detroit Journal
AS has been said before. Charles is
very observing boy. Yesterday one of
mammals friends came to the house to
CALL Mamma was out and Charles
opened the door.
Mamma is not home,'' he said.
''Will you please give her my card
when she comes?' inquired the caller.
"Yeth, ma am" said Charles
The caller opened her card case. and
as she withdrew the engraved pasteboard
bit Of tissue paper fiuttered down onto
the steps. Very grandly Charles picked
it UP and handed it to her, saying:
You dropped one of your cigarette pa
pers. Albany Journal