Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-05-22
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Poet-Did you get my book Of sonnet.
that l sent you? His Frlend-Oh. yes
delightful l couldn't sleep till I'd read
em.-Tit-Bts.
Knew the Cause: Giggleton-I near
" died laughing last night. Parker
Which one of your jokes were you tell
ing?-Tit-Blts.
Sign of Spring: ''Have~you heard q
robin yetY' NO; but I've seen wom
an with her head tied up In a towel
beating carpet In the back yard
Chicago Record.
Blind Bill (who has just received
copper)-Tnankee, sir; thankee; | moo
as you wouldn't ferglt the poor blind
man directly see yer come round the
corner.-Tit-Blts
"There are two acts yet" said the
usher to the man who rather hastily
started out Of the theater. II know.
That's just the reason I'm leaving
Philadelphia Times.
First Scientist hear that your dog
went mad and bit Professor Snagroots.
Ally btilous iCSultSs pttOho t'NiSheioN
Yes, the poor beast Is barking In Latin
and k!-Chlcago News.
Tompkins-I am afraid we haven't
much for dinner to-day; but such as 1t
Is Cheerful Frlend-Don't make
any excuse, old chap. Remember, I've
dined at your house before.-TitBi Bits.
Gas Bills: Campaign Manager
Here's bill of 5000 from one of your
speech-malSers during the campaign.
Candidate-Very we'll; put It into the
drawer marked Gas bills."-Ohio State
Journal.
Mrs. Pettlt-Wheneve l express
desire for anything, my husband never
objects. Mrs. Ig. Nord-Same with me;
. can express the desire as often as
please; It never dlsturbs hlm.-Phlladel-
, phia Press.
, Johnnie Jumpuppe-Paw, wot Is
} diplomat? Mr.. Jumpuppe-A diplomat,
my son, Is man who can call you
; liar to your face In such sweet way
that you want him to do 1t again.-Ohio
State Journal.
you wish to marry Elizabeth. But you
are In debt. Young Man-Yes, sir. Old
Gentleman-How did you get in debt?
Young Mani fell In love with your
daughter.-Life.
'4Those pigs of yours" said the coun-
try rector, "are In fine condition, Jar
WIS.," "Yes," answered Jarvis; "sure
they be; oh, sur, If we was all of u
: only as fit to die ~ them, we'd do."-
Kansas City Star.
t The Easy Solution: Jerrold Ceiling
y story)-Twlce snapped my rifle at the
t charging lion; 1t failed to explode. He
;. was right upon me-and what do you
think I did then? Bthel (yawning)-
a Woke up!-Judge.
Mrs. Maternal-I am sorry you are
u going back to Germany. Had l not
8 better get another music teacher for
my daughter? Prof. Won Note-Id ees
nod necessary. She knows enough
y museek to get married on.
"If sh'd die Mollie, ye'd buy foine
suit O. clothes FIR me, wudn't YEP "Av
coorse, l wud, Larry. Ye know that"
"While I'm alive, though, We think
!. l rummage sale stuff is good enough fr
me- do yeY-Chicago Tribune.
Well Heeled: your medicine has
helped me wonderfully" she wrote to
. the patent medicine house; three
weeks ago could not spank the baby,
and now am able to thrash my hus-
band God bless youw-Smart Set.
The Proper Spirit: First Doctor
don't think 1t absolutely necessary to
p operate. Second doctor-But | told
them It was. First Doctor-Oh, well,
/" then. rs a matter Of professional cour-
.r tesy, I, of course, shall stand by what
n you said.-Life.
Dangerous Hardness: First Doctor
What makes you think the patient Will
a. die II we don't perform the operationl
lie Second Doctor-That isn't the point
,e This is a new disease, and If he should
l i've without the operation 1t would
establish precedent.-Life.
n Knew the Species: Spendall-I gave
ID you that five dollars as a friendly tip
why do you hand four dollars back
IT, Waiter-I likes to keep everything OF
= a business basis, sab. Gents wot's SC
re very friendly wen dey has money Ii
apt to come round tryin' to borrer wen
IN dey gets broke.-New York Weekly.
d The Improved Plan: "Do you read 8
y novel as most women dor asked Ar
dent Admirer; "read the last chapter
u and then the rest Of the story?" "Oh,'
said the Lovelest Girl, 'that sort Of
u, ~ thing Is out of date. We now read the
=, last chapter, and then go toasee tht
> dramatization. indianapolis Press.
:, Pride In His Work: Chicago Million
" aire (showing his library to distinguish
ed novelisD-See them books? Distin
an guished Novelist-Yes. Chicago Mil
no Ionaire-All bound in calf, aren't they