davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
As Told by the King.

The old proverb that Listeners
never hear good OF themselves" was
comically illustrated in the case OF
Charles IL. during his light after
the battle Of Worcester, which was
fought on September 3, 1861.
From his hiding place at BoscoDel
the King, disguised as a servant, &C
companied Mrs Lane. who was visit
ing her sister near Bristol, from
which port it was hoped he might
find a vessel sailing for France On
the way Charles's horse cast a shoe.
and he had to ride TO a village smithy
70 get it shOd anew. AS he was hold
ing his horses foot he asked the
smith what was the news
''Hc told me, +" says the King. who
dictated an account OF his escape
twenty-nine years later to Pepsys, the
diarisi, "that there was no news that
he knew Of, since the good news OF
the beat ny OF the rogues the Scots.
/ asked him whether there was none
OF the English taken that joined
with the ScOtsg He answered. that
h didn't hear that the rogue Charles
Stewart, THAT is the King, holding
the horse at that moment was taken;
but some OF the Others, he said, we e
taken; but rot Charles Stewart /
told him that II that rogue we're
taken he deserved TO be hanged, more
than all the rest, for bringing in the
Scots Upon which he said that 1
spoke like an honest man, and so we
parted.
We may be sure the merry mon
arch, who dearly loved a joke, en-
joyed the humor Of the situation
But though it was fun to him IN
after years 1t might easily have beer
bis death at the time.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
Mr.. JONES HAS A SPELL.
Itisa srost ualamitous one. But Has to

30.
MARIA said Mr. Jones. looking
up from a letter he was writing, how
do you spell calamity"
"Y0u ought to know" answered
Mrs Jones; "what are you doing vita
it, anyway"
"pm writing TO Uncle Hiram about
his bad luck with his sheep and that's
as good a word to spring on him as
any other look in the dictionary
and see if it is spelled with one M or
two
Maybe it isn't in the dictionary :
suggested Mrs. Jones, as she reached
for the volume; you know there are
1000 new words that amt in il
'Wel, reckon there's as many
there as we win want 70 tackle ia
our lifetime. l wish you'd go ahead
and lind calamity.
''HoW does il begin--with a vowel
or a syliables" asked Mrs Jones, who
is as weak in her spelling as Jones is
in his
1T begins with a K. OF course
K-a-l-a-m-i-t-t-y-I am sure Of the
two Us, but I've kind Of stuck on the
ms Uncle Hiram is a way up in
spelling, and I'd hate awfully to be
wrong"
Il can't find any such word, and !
don't believe it's in the dictionary
Look under the ks You'll find
it among the X ais
Mrs Jones looked and hunted. then
she said, triumphantly.
Il told you so. There isn't such a
word here. Take some other word
that means the same thing
"But can't think Of one !"
"l can. How would catastrophe
dos"
'But this isn't anything about cats;
it's concerning sheep"
"I'll look it up. Is it spelled with
a or k, Jeptha?n
Whoever heard OF q cat being
spelled with ks Maria. I'm ashamed
of your ignorance, / really am.
But kitten is spelled with a K,
and it's a little cat Why. JeDtha,
here's calamity among the c's
Give it to me,n roared Jeptha
II always told you this book was full
OF mistakes Hum! it's there, and /
s'pose it's the new-rangled way I've
spelled it with a all nay life. and !
amt going TO be made over now,
sheep or no Sheep" and he tore Uncle
Hram's letter into fragments, while
Maria laughed softly in her sleeve. -
Free Press.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

In one Of the many and varied
comments on the creation Of women
Ia the Talmud, the Emperor Hadrlad
is introduced as c0nversing with
Rabbi Gamaliel on several religious
questions With the object Of east
ing ridicule on the Bible, Hadrlan ex-
claims:
"Why, your God IS represented
therein as a thief lie surprised
Adam In his sleep and robbed him OF
one Of his ribs %
The rabbits daughter, who was
present Graves permission % reply TO
the Emperor This IS granted her.
But FIRST let me iInplore thy inn
perial profession, puissant Sire - she
cxclaims "A grave outrage has per
petratcd on our house."
"Wh0 has dared 10 innict any harm
on the abode of iriends" asked the
sovereign.
"Undc cover Of the night an
audaci0us thief broke into our house.
took a silver fiagon from our chest
and left a golden one Ia Us stead
what a welcome thicfH e cries
Hadrian; would that such rObbcr.
might visit ms palace every day
.'And was not the Creator even
such a thief AS this archlY rciolns
the blushing dam-el "WhO deprived
Adam or q rio. and Ia lieu thereof
gave him a loving, lovely bridesn-
Nineteenth Century
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
BUT, he CAN'T TALK.


am en I'D horse from a livery stable
oeAid fel iot oi things if / were abs;
How. De- the soft SsnI einhsr nieht
John Henry found Supreme delight
~ afiflns ine Go Ihcmpsol's s farm
AMI uacs aqain. with lut one nrrf
Altho1Eh john Hnnry when alone
As Won % drive with more than cne.
aoN, whea the moon With yefiowIi & ht
E-t golden edges on the night,
.AHt SAT an gi1iy Hiram hrpwu
went driving just outside tha town.
70 lefe bridge. beyond tnou.
NuAA1 not be crossed unless = t0it
Nera paid 70 him thou there rras none
" Aea Hiram drove across alone.
tpe p hen ~ sweet June roses hio1ued
aNa az tne rkntss was pfrfum6l
lAAt sentimental Fairfax White
Would hire ne every other night
49, t-ton6l the lanes 90 driving sloW
Aan liieAn y flie murlnuring soft aud low.
1e Hnp5n never could oxactly ses-
mas Fairfax didn't tax % me
j. Einter time, across the snow
with lingiing bells ive sad % 60.
$50 though ! d uail TIE sleigh with eel
We'd 60 SO slow "a nearly ffeesa
And vet IN arv kind 81 STORM
Inst Henry Black kept nice sud warm
Except ons nisht-h be was alone
Just why % me WAS never known.
know he ran me oct OF breath.
and Henry nearly frOze to death.
eh "a an old horse from a livery stable;
eeula teii a lot q things. If / were able
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
The veIocltr on via Dncl. !.

The velocity with which a water
fowl flies through the air was illus
trated one night recently. About N
o'clock a wild duck. supposed to be
on its way 20 the feeding grounds up
the bay, few against the large pane
OF glass in the lantern at Thomas
Point Lighthouse. Chesapeake Bay.
" th such force as to smash the glass.
though It was a quarter Of al inch
thick aud five feet square The lens
was also damaged. The hole 10 the
lantern was large enough 70 admit a
small boats sail. which was tempo
rarlly used until the opening cOu d
be boarded up pending repairs. The
bird, which had a gray breast and
brown back, dropped dead on the in-
side. after finishing it, destructive
work Ii was probably q straggler
that had been attracted hy the
bright light at the lighthouse. rs no
other ducks could be seen by the
keepers Baltimore sun
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
A Pertinent Query.

Deacon r. is an eminently mous
man, active Ia church work, leading
ia the singing and loud in prayer
At the same time he Is touchy man
aud will resent an insinuatiOn when
he is thoroughly convinced that it Is
what IL purports 70 be. one OF the
crowd that sits around the country
store where the deacon l0afs is a
thorn in the deacon's flesh, and is
ever on the watch to riie the good
man.
''I tell you what it iSr said this
same wag one morning. SITS mighty
few of these church people I have any
confidence in.
The deacon standing over by the
counter stepped 70 keg OF nails near
the talker aud sat down
'H0wdy. deacon. said the wag
sliding over a little ''Sit down I
was just saying. be went On.
that was a little shaky on some OF
these protesting Christians
$50 heard you say. responded the
deacon. sternly
''leS I've been thinking about
some OF them. and don't think these
people are % be trusted that sit up
10 the front row n the meeting
house singing and praying So loud al
the time
The deacon Whirled around and
shook bis fist right under the startled
ways nose
How ioud2n he asked. toying %
restrain himself: how louds and the
taikcr fell OF Of his keg ~ nails
without going into details -frce
Press
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

A deer when started by hunter OF
driven by hounds usually returns in a
few days TO the same hill or noun
tain-side where he was first found
but a moose, when once thoroughly
alarmed. will start on a long swing
ing walk, and, taking with him his
entire family leave for good. Ii is
one Of the greatest dlfliculties--and
there are many-in still hunting this
animal, to avoid getting him under
way Tor then the hunter may
as well break camp and try other
fields, since not a moose will be found
with n miles. They scent a moccasin
track or the smoke Ct fire at an in
credible distance. A fresh trail may
be found one daF, and arrangements
made TO follow IL at davbreak on the
morrow During the night the
moose returning TO his old haunts,
detects the danger-signs, and all the
hunters find in the morning is a trail
six or eight hours old leading for
PARTS unknown in an almost perfectly
straight line. The moose Is at that
moment perhaps, twenty miles OF,
and still going.
Although moose cannot be driven
TO water by hounds like a deer, but
will turn savayely To bay, still they
Will not remain in a locality Iwhere
dogs are running; so that when the
white hunters became numerous in
the North Woods and especially
when they introduced bounding, the
moose simply left the country, and
passed either eastward 70 Maine or
northward to Canada.
It's well-authenticated but little
known fact that they practically left
in one season. They were numerous
ia the Adirondacks, especially 10
Browns Tract "a large district in
what is now the southwestern
part OF the wilderness until the
period between 1850 and 1855 (prob-
ably near the latter year when they
suddenly disappeared. Before this
several had been killed yearly. Scat
tered ones we're shot later, but 1855
marked their exit from the annals Of
New York game. Years later. four
or five we're brought hack to Saranac,
nut would not STAY. Century.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

The absolute necessity for disinlec-
tion and the supreme fact that ln
this procedure alone can De found
immunity from the propagation and
Transmission of contagious diseases.
Is again wen illustrated by the case
recently reported BY DR. L. =. Rhea
OF Carey Iowa lie was called 10
see child wears old and found
a fully developed ease Of diphthcrla.
followed In the course Of Ten days hy
five others There were no cases In
the ucighhorhood, but upon invcsti-
gafion IL was found that the father
three DAYS previously bad bought a
sack Of old rags from a nclghuor.
who. nine years before bad taken
them from a house where diphthcria
prevailed, and OF a very malignant
type The sack was opened By The
children and some false hair was
found with which the children
amused Themselves. During this
time thr rags had remained undis-
turbed in an old Clubhouse Annals
% Hygiene.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
BIG FIRES IN THE SUN.
Disturbances which Materially Anecte, th
Weather on This Planet Recently.

Disturbances which Materially Auoctei, tb
Weather on This Planet Recently.
Ire mendous fires on the suns ur-
face, exceeding in size and intensity
anything measurable by human ln-
derstanding. recently drew the atte a.
ton OF all astronomers. This q :
scripti0n Of the wonderful solar di +
turbances was given TO "a Philadelphi
Record man 10y Astronomer 1auet
p. Seryiss:
"a stupendous group OF blac
spots, easily visible to the naked ey
when the latter IS protected By a dar
glass, was on the meridian of the sun
No less than twelve smaller group
OF spots were visible on the disk
the same time. so that the appear
ance OF the suns face was most ex
traordnary when viewed with tele
scope. The large group is IN IN
southern hemisphere and is pf0babl
a temperance Of huge spot seen az
previOus times. IL showed two main
centers Of activity and the area Of
the solar surface covered by it was
not less than 5000, 900, 900 square
miles The western nucleus OF the
group presented a vast circular pool,
the center Of which was as black as
ink. The diameter o. the black cen
ter was not less than u. 600 miles.
but its outlines were broken By fiery
bridges projecting into aud across it
One Of these. whose length could not
have been less than 10. 600 miles, was
seemingly split in two from end 1.
end, while another vast curving line
Of tame ran across the pit 20 join H..
The eastern nucleus was still larger,
and showed a marvellous mass OF black
chasm crossed aud divided Ia every
direction by blazing tongues anc
bridges Around the edge OF the
great group eruptiOns OF metallic va
pOr were evidently taking place, lift
ing Masses Of blazing matter 10 ths
height of many thousand miles
Changes in the details OF some OF the
spots indicated that the most tre-
mendOus forces were az work. A
group Of Spots at once so large and 50
complex as this has very seldom been
seen upon the sun. IL is not improl-
able that it is situated at or near the
same point on the sun where the huge
spot OF February, 1892. appeared.
which was accompanied by wide
spread magnetic storm and gor-
geous red aurora. According 10 our
theory Of the relation OF sun spots TO
terrestrial magnetism. this group
should have produced its greatest ef-
feet upon the earth several days ago,
when it was just coming around the
eastern edge OF the disk; but. accord
i8g to another theory, its maximum
effects is due now, when 10 Is near
the solar meridian III auroras are
not seen TO night In places where the
sky is clear it will be well 10 look for
them during the coming few days,
because, although the great group 4,
now past the center, yet other groups
which may develop much activity are
Just coming around the eastern edge
OF the sun
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

ssBut I cOniured uDa better scheme
than that in less time than it taxes
TO tell About three miles further
down was an abandoned coal mine,
with a siding connecting with the
up track. III could reach itin time
70 throw the switch the runawayS
+ could be turned of aud do little dam
age beyond destroying themselves
On the other hand. il the night ex-
press should be near, and knew she
was about due, the conse luences
would be horrible if I failed. Bad
predicament wasn't it, But, as l
said, 10 such cases a mans got TO de-
eide quick. and / made up my mind
TO risk 10.
II pulled the throttle wide opan
and fastened the whistle rope so as to
keep up a steady bl0win' Great Mo-
ses how we spun down that grade
An the time the lamps on the run
aWays were twink n 10 plain sight
and ! knew the cars must be comm
a-whizzin'. We passed a train g0in'
down on the other track. aud, al
though it was maxim pretty fair
speed ITSELF the engineer told me
afterwards that / 81 past him like
as if the devil was chasin' me. and
when "A minute or so later. the cars
came along like comet he thought
! WAS a goaer sure.
nWel. reached the sidin', aud by
usin sand, and reversln' got my en-
gine stopped. Theu I jumped for the
switch. It was rusty and bent, but
fortunately not locked. gave il a
terrific jerk, got IL turned and then
run as hard as my legs would carry
me. l was too busy gettia out OF
the way to watch for the cars, but l
heard 'em comm. and l remember
thinkin' that If they jumped the
switch and kept on down the main
tack 10 wouldn't be my fault
Then there was a crash and a
shock which seemed 20 come out of
the sky ! was knocked head over
heels b. the cOncussion OF the air
and when / crawled upon my feet il
was rainin' pig. Fact The sky was
iull Of ready-made sausage meat A
car or hogs had broke loose with the
dynamite, and, Of course, went up
when IL exploded. Spare ribs and
pork chops fell all over Cambria
County that night and a farmer
liyin' near the railroad got three
whole hogs ont OF the tops OF pine
trees next day. / was SO weak l
could hardly reach my engine, but l
managed to get her side-traeke1 and
out OF the way Just as the express
came along.
"How did the company reward
you, pete?" asked Billy. as the en-
gineer knocked the ashes out OF his
pipe.
"Laid me oil month for leayin'
the train without n0tifyin' the con-
ductor. IN. v. Sunday World.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

Joseph fiattOn gives an account OF
the method used BY a Western poll
tieian. who would not be interviewed,
and who nevertheless knew how IN.
tile his objections would prove, did
he not resort 20 heroic measures. He
was a Congressman, and on visiting
New York. he was speedily b sieged
by reporter
"G0Od morning. said his inquisi-
tor. .sMay ask you
Excuse me. repi ed the other "a
am IT. the city on priv te business,
and / decline 90 be interviewed
'My dear sir. I only wanted to ask
you ore question"
Il most emphaficaQy decline. =
was the reply. ITO take any part ln
an interview.
is that fnalsn asked the reporter.
Most omphatlcaIlYm
The reporter took bis leave. and
the Congressman presently appeared
at the Office Of the Associated Press
lie reported himself a. having a
pie OF important information for
the chief
please send out a few lines said
he. stO the effect that the two
column interview with Mr. Congress
man -- 90 Chicago. which thu New
York Daily snapper viii publish. TO-
morrow morning. is a fabrication Of
the reporter from beginning TO end
Il ats al. ] am Congressman -
This is my card Thank YOU Good
evening.
And thus did he defeat journalistic
enterprise, and set himself right With
the world
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

The incorporate use o. alcohol
gives one "a terrible real zation 0f
what is meant By visiting the sins oi
the fathers upon the children. Med.
ical scientists tell as that incbriafe
parents not only beget children who
may fall q prey 20 the same morbid
impulse. but their progeny are often
feeble, idotIc epiieplic. OF insane.
IL is the custom Of PHYSICIANS in all
cases of insanity epilepsy Idiocy anY
many other disorders 70 inquire into
the record of intemperance IN the
family history. Alcohol affects the
system 10 such variety Of waYs pre-.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24
a rIe.seIIer Who Became a Zinc

One Of the most celebrated OF Rus
san families has just become extinct
by the death at Baden Of Prince Men
tchikOfi The founder Of the house
was "A pastry cooks assistant who
hawked pies in the Muscovite capital.
BY some means OF other be obtained
40 inkling OF a projected revolt Of
the Cars body guard, and informed
Peter the Great OF the fact, who
showed his gratitude ia the most
generous manner raising the young
fellow by degrees u the rank Of gen
eral in the my and a prince Of the
empie On the death OF the Em-
peror MentchiR0h secured the sue
cession to Catharine, who. in return.
caused Peter II. tOmarry the Princes S
daughter This seemed to turn his
head, as be became so arrogant that
the Emperor ended bydisgracing him
and sending him % Siberia, where he
died in exile Ills great grandson
commanded the Russian army as chief
during the Crimcan war, OF which he
was one OF the principal originatOrs.
After his disastrous defeat at the
battle OF Alma he was deprived Of
his command, which was entrusted
10 Prince G0rtschakOd, and he died
some time after in obscuritY and par
tial disgrace. His SON. the last Of
the race, lived almOstcntirel abroad,
keeping aloOf from politics and de-
voting his energies TO the turf Like
the remainder OF his family he be-
l0nged 20 the vigorously conservative
school OF the Russian nobility. and
made NO pfotcnce Of disgusting his
contempt Tor the efforts made Of late
years 10 bring the institutions Of his
country into conformity with western
civilization
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

Readers who have never expressed
themselves by >lammlng a door viii
hardly appreciate thc following.
Mr. BiiTers and Nr Mhi1crs have
dcsks la the same Office The other
day Bllners was trying % strdIghten
an intricate account
II saT. Nhiacrs be broke ont
'ran't you run that typc-writing ma
chine without making such an infer
nal racket"
40. said Writers mot when
I'm writing % a man who has called
me a fool VIEW York Weekly.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

We sometimes ind a poor person
claiming relationship with a rich one
OF the same name. but never a rich
one claiming tionshiD with a poor
one
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

SOMETIMES when a woman refuses
70 90 out of town 60 spend the sum-
mer because she is afraid her has
hand will be lonesome. her real reason
is that she Is afraid be won't Be
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

Let us suppose that one Of my
readers were 10 suffer from sore
throat, or buzzing in the ears with
deafness, and We were to consult a
physician about the proper treatment
10 be followed. What would be
thought OF the physician if he were
to recommend a series of successive
yaWnings, to be repeated several
times a day. The physician wolld
certainly be considered a fool, and in
all probability his advice would not
be asked on such a subject a second
time Yet this is the advice given
BY NJ. Naegeli Of Ermatingen. and
the results he obtains are quite re-
markable, according TO report
The painful symptoms are relieved
almost at once, and the pharyngitis
itself may be stopped short if the
treatment is begun early enough.
This is, therefore. a case to say that
it does not do to be astonished at
anything. espec ally as TIE physiology
Of yawning explains perfectly the re-
coveries that have been reported.
Az 10 WAAA AhAWu AAab lAW AAh& may
be readily produced by autO-sugges-
ti0l or imitation; there is. therefore.
nothing to prevent our making use OF
its therapeutical action, the mech
anism OF which It is easy to under
stand. During the act of yawning
there is considerable stretching OF the
muscles of the pharYnx and soft
palate, which are in this way put
through a sort Of massage; besides
this, the cartilagin0us portion of the
eustachian tubes is made to contract
and drives into the pharynx the
mucus that has accumulated.
Dr. Naegeli claims that yawning is
more eiicaciOus In freeing the tube
from accumulated secretions than any
OF the other processes in which the
mucus Is often driven toward the
middle ear instead OF toward tho
pharynx, as is the case in the act OF
yawning
The process is within the reach Of
everybody so that each person can
give il a trial and form an individual
OplniOn of its value
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

verts the functions ofso many organs,
invades ana corr0des 50 many tissues.
that the physician is often puzzled
as 70 what part Of the organism needs
/ treatment first The poison pro-
kdces chronic Inflammation OF the
stomach; it gradually infames the
liver and, in fact, stran lies it like an
ironl hand; it Injuries the heart; it
affects the kidneys; it does harm TO
the lungs; 10 produces neurasthenia,
delirium tremens. insanity. aud epi-
lepsy by its influence upon the ner-
Yous system: it attacks the spinal
cord and causes pseudO-ataxia Some
times the physicians treat one OF
these conditions 10 a patient and
sometimes many The cursed alco-
hol is mans worst enemy and never
reliable friend. Buffalo Commercial
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1901-04-24

The hardest thing in the world 70
fnd Is q lost temper