The Opelousas courier., 1901-10-12
THE GEORGIA HUMORIST
HEFlLEsA AN EMPHATIC PROTEST AGAINST
'BRER. 'PoSSUM.

SAAV W SN
Questions.
"Possum" seems to be the slogan of
state politics. It is among the first
Latin words I ever learned to decline,
and means IT am able."As a filthy var
NIT I decline it still, and if I had been
invited to the feast I should have re-
piled non 'possum. I can eat crow, but
not 'possum. A buZzard would be as
palatable, for one is q day scavenger
and the other hunts for carrion by
night. Not long ago Mr.. Hale told
me at Rising Fawn that his boy caught
three on three consecutive nights by
setting his steel trap on a dead hog in
the woods, and Mr.. Young told me
yesterday that the last one his dog
freed was in the carcass of a dead
horse. Now, if q 'possum is kept up
in a coop or pen for a month and fed
on decent food, his oily carcass might
be ftten for a scalawag or o hungry
darkey. Colonel Gambler In his letter
sings the praises and the oily juices
of the north Georgia 'possum, but
turns up his nose at the piny woods
breed. The difference is that dead
dogs and hogs and mules are few and
far between in the piney woods, and
the 'possums can't get enough carrion
to get fat. But 'possum is just now
the political fad, and q politician will
eat anything for office except crow.
They don't like that. DR.. Miller used
to say that he could eat crow, but he
didn't banker after it. We college
boys used to have 'possum suppers
away in the night, but Hansel, who
furnished them, kept them up and
stall fed them. The chief satisfaction,
however, was in breaking the rules
and lodging the professors and tutors.
Jim Warren and Chess Howard used
to give midnight suppers and pull up
the 'possum and taters in q basket by
a rope and take it in at a third-story
window.
Well, the nation has got a slogan
too. Cuba and Hawaii are still on
deck as sh%uttlecocks, and the game is
long and uncertain. Cuba is a fruit
that is about ripe, and ought to be
pulled before it rots on the tree; but
Hawaii is as green as a gourd. Cuba
is 400 miles long, and is near by and
should be purchased just like we
bought Florida from Spain; but Hawaii
is 1900 miles from our Pacific coast,
and all the islands put together have
not as much area as a single county in
Texas. They say we want it for a
coaling station. We have it now for
that, and can keep it during peace;
but it would take all of our little navy
to hold it during war. It looks very
like the whole plot of annexation is a
personal job for a few men. They are
trying to alarm US with the threat that
if We do not annex it England will. I
don't reckon England wants it very
bad. In case of a great war, it would
take a good part of her navy to hold
it, and the game is not worth the can
die. Our poor little navy won't justify
US in a~nnexing anything, and we
can't hurry up any battleships
under the Dingley tariff and the pen
sion frauds.
England has Is battleships, 81 cru
sers, 6 gunboats, Sc torpedo boats and
8 war steamers-in oil 116 keels. The
United States has 6 battleships, 10
cruisers, Is gunboats, 6 monitors and |
8 torpedo boats-in all so keels. How
is that for war? Japan has more war
keels afoat than the United States, |
and is now the acknowledged mistress
Of the Pacific ocean. But we can beat
them all in brag and bluster and jim
goism. We are very like the average
young man who lives on his fathers
reputation. We go back o century or
SO and bank on the Constitution and
the Wasp in the days of Paul Jones
and Decatur. Those were glorious
victories, but we were fighting on the
defensive then, and our great leaders,
both on land and sea, were southern
men-Paul Jones was from Virginia
and Decatur was from Maryland, and
old John Adams didn't like either of
them.
But almost everything that concerns
congress now is, political jobbery-
and the pension frauds will go on.
They grow bigger and bigger as the
years roll on. The fifty thousand pen
sion lawyers up north must be kept
and they are organized and know
how to control congressman. Ten dol
.ars from each n will place hall. a
in Washington and that will
purchase fifty votes at $40, 900 d vote.
They defy Commissioner Evans and
III his efforts to purge the rolls will be
n. vain. Wiekedness in high places
.a--, I'D the, ~
he nation survives it's corruption. I
heard some preachers discussing it on
;he railroad and one said the wicked
less was so great it was a wonder that
he Lord dident destroy the capital
S1d all the great cities. But an old
irish preacher said: "No, sir; no, sir;
he Lord wouldent have destroyed
'odom if there had been ten good men
here, and I am sure there are at
east fifty in Atlanta and nearly as
many in Washington and New York
No, sir, the cities are safe for some
ime to come, but it is we'll enough to
your eye on a place in the country.
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