Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1901-03-23
NOT THE ONLY GIBFERISH.
War News From New England Would
Contain Some Hard Names

Before a Turkish town
| The Russians came,
| And with huge cannon
/ Did lombard the same.
They got up close
| And rained fat hombshells down.
| And blew out every
| Vowel in the town.
| And then tho Turks
| Becoming somewhat sad,
Surrendered every
| conspnant they had.
-Ironqull If Kansas.
They had been reading the war news.
| says the Chicago Tribune he the wont
! from tho East: she. the Girl graduate.
7 Her pretty mouth was puckcred ana he-
! face was skewcd as though she had the
/ toOtha
! And do YOU really think the Chinese
viii capture Tame Chin, Tcnc Sin. or
whatever T-i-e-n-t-S-i-n is called?" she
CaSped. 30. those horrid foreign names :
Why don't they have their wars in some
civilized country. 50 we can talk about
them"
I'm this country, for instancc?- he
asked.
why, yes even here. Wars are bad
enough anywhere but surely they would
be robbed Of part Of their horrors if the
words were speakdhc"
IF Won don't mind" the young man
said. I'll tell you little story about II
war that the historians missed-purpose-
y, I'm afraid: for. like YOU, perhaps
they like the simple words.
Once u"on a me a wicked German
who came from a town with ten Syllahles
raised an army to invade the United
States. lie had for his generals an Eng
lishman, Frcnchman a Turk. 4 Rus
rian. Pole. and great soldiers from All
over the world, including a Fiji islander
or two. The German was Il cunning man
and he laid his plans well. knowing that
Yankees lrt l,tg
army more than outnumbcred all the pep-
pie in the United States. and each soldier
was armed with a saber ten feet long.
The German chartered all the ships in
the world and stocked them with enough
provisions to last for a century. ihcn.
with cruel icer that all gre2. warriors
wear. he gave the order to sail
Across the Atlantic the great fleet
came, and yet there was no commotion
in Washington. Not a citizen was called
to arms. and the men with army beef to
prepare for the invasion. But the prcsi-
dent only smiled provokinsly and said he
guessed it would come out ali right
one morning the great war feet. with
Its millions of men. reached the Maine
SHORE. and there was great shouting and
rejoicing when &c invaders found that no
army was on HAND % meet them. They
had expected Ia fight their way to Wash
ington, and now found that it would only
be triumphal parade. The mon were
bundled OF the transports. and before
Hlent All the army had taken M the
march to the interior.
The first night the army pitched its
camp on the bank of Pamedecook lake
and on succeeding nights it camped by
Lakes Parmcchene. Schaadic. Seebooss
Squawpan and Umbagog. At Lake TIM
bagog many of the men We're taken H.
hut not one of the 10000 wise doctors
who accompanied the invading hosts
could tell what was the matter. But. IN
the army marched on.
ION the seventh day the army fordad
Capsuptac and DamarisCo:ta rivers. and
many OF the men when they reached the
other side dropped to the ground and
died. The army pushed on and forded the
Piscataquis and Passadumkeag rivers.
and more men died. The doctors went to
the wicked German and implored him to
call halt. Five Per cont Of the men