The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-05-11

previous generations have tried to do for
posterlty- But here we are going to pur-
lesque shows and using slang and wear
ing freak clothes, just as if Shakespeare
and Sir Isaac Newton had never lived.
am thoroughly convinced that any eff
fort TO benefit anything so frivolous and
ungrateful as posterity is a sheer waste
of time. Washington Star.
First Kansan-Did thet cyclone dam
age Jed Perkins house emmy?
Second Kansan-Donno; it hain't lit
yit.-Ohio State Journal.
Col Bragg-Tve fought and bled for
my country, sir; I've
Alex. Smart-Yes, but did you ever
help your wife hang pictures?-Oh
State Journal
There's a barrel organ going along
the street"
That's nothing. They're quite com
But what want to know is, does it
represent real progressive movement
in music philadelphia Times.
A southern lady met a colored widow,
gaudily attired laughing and talking
and seemingly in the best of spirits.
why, Lizzie said the lady, stopping
the horse she was driving, how is it
that you are so cheerful when your hus-
band died only three weeks ago2''
ows with a broad grin. ''ev'ybody know
there ain no happiness in married life
till one oh ems done 'ceasted.' '-Har-
per's Magazine.
Vanity, Not Love-"She's very fond
of him, isn't she?" well, don't think
she's as fond of him as she is fond Of
having people remark that he is fond of
er.''-Philadelphia Press.
nov cco,,, e+,.o 81. r., xvo,.
but my wife thinks I'm about as good
as there is going" Griggs=''Sort of an
acquired taste, I suppore, like tomatoes
or olives, for instance Boston Trans
cript
Drawing a Distinction@sHow much
does a member of the legislature get in
this state2" inquired the tourist. His
salary" answered Farmer Corntossel, rs
three dollars a day. Nobody knows how
much he gets. "-Washington Star.
Teacher-'eNow, Tommy. suppose you
had two apples, and you gave another
boy his choice of them. you would tell
him to take the bigger one, wouldn'
your" Tommy-"No, num-" Teacher
@'Why?" Tommy Cos 'twouldn't be
necessary. ''-Tit-Bits.
Pacifying Her.-The Wife-'If this
scandal in the family is going to make
any difference in our social position, it
will be more than I can bear" Chicago
Don't let that worry you
bit. If it does. weH move to New
York. "-Harper's Bazaar.
He Changed the Subject.-Adr Newly
wed-"If-if I should be killed by this
automobile, Marie, I want no weeping at
my funeral. 1 want everybody to be
cheerful Mrs. Newlywed-"N Nonsense,
John. 1 shall have to weep a little just
for the looks of the thing. Judge.
One very cold day Tom. in his first
trousers, was walking out with his tiny
overcoat turned back to its utmost lin
it. tom" said his father, button your
coat" The boy demurred. Look at
NINE" added his father. Yes said
Tom, ruefully, but everybody knows
that you wear trousers. Current Liter
allure.
In Paris.-''How do you know she is
an American" I heard her talking
French. Life.
Domestic Opinions. ~ Husband - Il
think only sensible women ought to
marry" Wife-'Wen, you'd be bach
elor if that were the rule.'-Detroit
Free Press,
Disappointed.-'I see the Newgiits
have given up their automobile"
What for?' They found after all,
that it wasn't SO expensive as keeping
horses. Puck.
rs he a man of ability?'' rs he?
Why, he not only knows that he doesn't
know much, but he has the ability to
keep others from knowing it.''-Phila-
delphia Tines.
In the Light of Modern Science
THAT bookkeeper of yours never seems
to be sick" NO; he's the most expert
rm-dOdger we've ever had in the es-
Enlistment Chicago Tribune.
The Worst.-NIrs. Gush-sI heard all
about your poor husband having his
arm broken in that dreadful street car
accident yesterday: let me sympathize
with YOU Mrs. Swagger-"Oh, thank
you but that isn't the worst; my new
hat was simply ruined in the wreck
Ohio State Journal.
Lady cat the registry ofice)-"But
shouldn't care to trust her with baby.
She's too small for a nurse" Man
ageress-"Her size, madame, we look
upon as her greatest recommendation"
Lady-''IndeedI But she is so very
small" Manageress-'tYe but that is
an advantage, in my opinion You see
that when she drops the baby it hasn't