The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-12-12
The LANEAN-sALIssuRY PIE HUM.

y THIS SEASON OF ante-Christmas cheer, when
every human beings heart should be filed with JOY
and his stomach with pie, 1t unutterably sad
that OF Utahs most prominent and best-beOved
should caner vain Over the res that stretch from
Salt Lake to Washington we hear me echo of their
To them must 60 heartfelt sympathy III this, their
hour OF bitter sorrow.
Of course il has dawned on our readers long since
that the hungry people "aloodin' at are
Orange J. Salisbury and his chum P II. Lannan They
frightened up their belts to keep down the gnawing
pains OF hunger and FASTENED to the capital, to if
parchance they could not gather crumb from the
lable of the rich Naturally their eyes turned Hanna
ward even as the Moslem turns his gaze toward the
This was bad break right at the start. It shows
that Orange aud the colonel don't read the newspapers
IF they did. they woud have learned long since that
Marcus AursliuS Is looked upon by the present adj
lnini-traton CHIEFLY wart. Mark couldn't help the
boys foot along the WAY toward making Arthur Pratt
succeed Glen Miller in the marshals Office. He gently
bat firmly. told them that ne didn't have any more
drag at the White House than Senator Ben Tman
Of South Carolina.
Odds enough lIessrs Salisbury aud Lannan never
Thought 10 euli, the influence of Senator T. kearns
bead waiter and chef as well of the Utah pie foundry
Perhaps the frappe handed them by the from
Ohio bad chilled them into forgetfulness. Anyway
they overlooked T. kearns entirely, although neither OF
them is willing TO so so far to say I. kearDs Is
without influence. Instead, they going to have a
try mt thc president IN the hope that he viii sec tho
unWlsd0m OF putting important mHftcr tho
Utah pie in the hands of inexperienced individual
Ike the junior senator from tab.
What the result viii be it IS, of course, difficult
to foresee The chances are, however that Hauua's
reception viii seem tropical when compared with
Roosevpts That viii be really and truly sad The
grief Of Salisburg aud Lannan only be measured
by their capacity for suffering. But regret
ther misfortune viii be tempered by the thought 5f
another picture.
suppose Salisbury had been elected to the United
Stses senate The vote doesn't show it. but he did try
as hard as he knew how The vote doesn't show it. but
Colonel ISman Bid his very best to further the am
bfon Of Mr.. Salisbury aud both used every effort at
their coEnaand to defeat T. Kearns Now let us make
up wildly suggestions case. Surpose Salisbury had
received the other eighteen votes he lacked in the
eaucus
Would he have shown an ogerweenins. fondness
for a candidate plain Tom keans presented for the
position Of United States MARSHALL Wig, Mr. Sails
bury and Colonel Lannan would have laughed until
they had pain al the presumption of plain Tom So
in parfakng OF the oaly pie to which they are en-
tide3 to WI humble pie, these heavenly twins IRE
SIMPLY swallowing medicine they would have forced
down the necks of others
The Herald doesn't the value of a last years
raw who is appointed marshal Tor Utah or who gets
any other federal job. This isn't Democratic year
or a Democratic fight. It's up TO us to rise in
seats Ear TO the rear add look al the festivities Good
ness knows oon't enjoy seeing people swallow Bit
ter lnedieine bat soothe ourselves with the under
standing that it's for their own coed
lea, 1t hurts more than It does them, but we'll
try to bear up.