The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1901-05-02
PLEASANT PARAGRAPHS.

THE ~old sojer-s home-the cuspi-
dore.
KIND words are like laid heads, they
can never ds e
THE chief symptom of cold in the
head is handkerchief.
THE Freuchman says: When start
ont in search of a wife I'm going to
Havre-~
FIRST LITTLE G1RL-Is your doll
French DOLE Second Little Girl-I
don't know. size can't talk.
THAT'S where the figures don't lie"
~Where?" On the class badges worn
at a reunion of old school girls"
FANSIE-The papers are making a
great fuss about smoke;ess powder now.
Arabella-Yes; just as though We had
not used it for years.
THERE is one old fellow in Boston
who is pretty hard up. The other day
he went into a shop and tried to pawn
the coat of his stomach.
No MATTER which side wins, the
cigarmalers' strike will end in smoke,
and its fruition will be like Dead Sea
frhit turning to ashes on the lips.
COOP ADvIcE-"NIy doctor has for
hidden me to take wine. and he says
ought not to smoke, either" Then, if
if L We're you, would change my
DOCTOR
TAILoR-You promised me faithfully
that you would call and settle for that
suit last night if it raiued pitchforks-
Customer I know; but it didn't
rain pitchforlzs-
"JoHN," asked tie doctor of the
apotnecary's boy, did Mrs. Green get
the medicine L ordered :" 81 suppose
So replied John. Il saw Grape the
door-hnob this morning
FANGLE-W What do you think of this
piece of newspaper advice: Tell your
wife every day that you love her?'
Cumso-I don't think that the papers
ought to encourage lying.
DoBBER Which of my classes do YOU
wish your daughter to join. Mr.. Clutch2
That in oils, the water color2
Clutch -That water color O. course
Water is cheaper than oil, amt it :?
Mr.. HA1sEED Obuying cigar
hole this amt one o. those weeds that
burn out in time at all. / want n
good long smoke. Tobacconist (inl-
pressiyely Mine friendt, dot cigar will
last till You sick of it
| TED hear Mrs Bellair is married
| again. Isn't it rather soon after her
first husbands death? Ned-1es, but
| there We're extennating circum stances.
| Her second husband was the under
| taker who buried her first.
SEE" said Mrs. Hem eek, that the
new Brazilian Government has estab-
1ished civil marriages." We'll, L wish
you'd go down there and learn some
thing about hem. I'm gettin mighty
tired of this uncivil affair of ours"
MHs. CFABBLEy-Did you hear the
| Virgins dog howl last night? Crab
hey i lid, and / believe it to be a
sure sign of n death in the neighbor-
hood Mrs. Crabbiey-Do you, really !?
Who do you think is going to die :?
| bley-That dog.
Mrs WERE DE NERE-D Don't you
think that this excitement about sec
tartan schools is quite futile? Mrs.
| NIalaprop-I Indeed do. Boys aud girls
went to school together when 1 a
child, and it is all nonsense to say tia;
| they can't do the same thing now
THE POET.
/ Just hear him See him tear his hair.
| And nladIy prance and caper.
For he pounded out his writing machine,
| a nice little rhyme for the magazine.
| On babb1ins brooks ana pastur green.
| And then Ieaued back with n smile serene
| To that e had absent M llded been,
! And forgot TO put in any paper
-Iesf'e Htute ISsOs.ess-
sioDERN IIsoGhfss-
Fair Visitor Cat parlors of noted me-
tlium)-I read in the paper recently
that delicate, refined lady, who at
tended one of your seances, suddenly
| became very violent, struck out right
| and left, and you announced that the
lady was controlled by the spirit Of
Yankee Sullivan
Medium remember the case per
| fect1y.'
yair yisitor-WeI, called to in