davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
SLIPS IN THE PULPIT
ODD 8LUNDERS THAT HAVE BEEN
MADE IN SERMONS.
One Minister Who Was Not Well
Posted In Maritime Nomenclature.
Another Who Wanted Footprints
TO Announce Themselves


4 j. not Ior the ialty 10 throw stones
a. .he Pat>oh ABOUT ms snip due either to
pl"VoIIi, if!-At pr 70 absence Of mA'. tor
cue e''ji''th ana sisters WHO are not OF
,Lie ''o,H MAKE plenty OIL mistakes OF taIS
h'l'' Nearly ever! ohe-Hah Or woman
III 'HIs IA! mas attempted 10 Sptah at
som E3,n lI ana mas SAT down Wiih
.T u r ,g3S',"uS 5 q g na',I , S%
tended. one man, lawyer, is Suu
piqued at himself over the recollection Of
M a ''7 1. Nm, II'e , J,',IS Il, 'ne '%uf1' =
either animal or brast." and crr,,,i.,
clubwoman recalls with horror how. ia
me mia,t or poetic description Of sun
, yr, No., ,r,', ' i,a '''..!''' "''" anu
Yet there are more recorded slips made
by ministers. perhaps, because rilicu
. .I"S '',t'I S1ii from 'nt Pupt becomes
uan,,.,n.,,, a,l" j., - 'i', ,,,',,' H. in
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Holding n Mnsn.

Two farmers recently laid a wager tha-
one could hold wasp longer in his Laa
than the other. The man who ruA.t.
chloroform on his hands expected to wn.
but the other happened to know that mIio
wasps do not sting and accordingly got
one OF that sex. They sat and smiled a'
each other, while the crowd woudn
until the chloroform evaporated, and th.j
the man who used it suddenly let 20 a.,
wasp. The other man got the money.
London Tit Bits.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
MANS DAILY TAX.


Number OF Words ised hy Facio7-
Persons In lv'ht5-iaur i"nr..
II have boon rEH- h l ...
uUr words ." at..-. f..8 ujs-
ryely twenty u.sr-. -.uj ID
man UIu bad psi .nt I
th.a--, "lgt have a.u BE- ta.I.
amy satisfactory c.ur.H-i.l. .u .,..a.f.i IS
the different raJr~ of ~..a.l u' Waisl ..i
fytuul persons t.'k. on euat~p h..a Ii
reference tu the a0u.ut Kinds v.,I.
which may l. fuuld lu thrda.Iy 1.c. ..I.
Larry % thc average wHn. lgt TIA ta s."-
counting rrl.riti.Hs and all, during c1r.y
twenty four hours.
'lhcrc is the qaiyt, melancholy ecntle.
man who will not speak On am avurag. ~
5Ul words a day. and there are maag
who for one reason or another wouN L
utter anything like this number Oa iA,
other hand. there is the conversational
Calling gun. not always woman. eth Il.
who will roll off words at fearful rat,
Of speed aud whose aggregate for one
day would run up 10 dizzy heights. I'll
there is the normal talkcr. who viii strik,
good decent ayeragc-thc man who will
neither bore YOU with his Indifferent 81.
lcHce nor tire you with his meaningless
vcrhosity.
But suppose that We figure that the
average person will utter an average If
sixty words every minute. This would
amount % 2.iul words for every hour, VI
about $4,000 words for every twenty foW
hours. or course mo person Will talk TIL,
much. rs the windicst Of men and women
would urrIylly brook .I.y,-r, iafa,, tf,.,,.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
superstition Among Thieves.

The thief born and bred in the slums is
always superstitious and cowardly. He
believes in the power of witches omens
and the protecting properties Of amulets,
talismans and charms. and when search.
ed at the police Office there are usually
found in his pocket or concealed about
his person bits of coal, rusty horseshoe
nails, lucky stones and rings.
He parts with these articles, on which
he relies for safety in the hour Of peril.
with the greatest reluctance and stipu.
lates with the turnkey to have them re
turned either to himself or friends.-Lon.
don Tit-Bits.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Oratorical Style Obsolete.

"Aliss Minnie, it has been on my mn!
a long time to say something to you. bu-
with the natural distrust that is a part of
my being l still hesitate. Yet | am per
suaded that you must have anticipated
what | am about to say. 1t is hardly
imaginable that my intentions can have
been misunderstood. 1t cannot have es-
capped your notice that my partiality for
your society
Pardon me for interrupting you, Mr.
Wellalong. but that isn't the style now
days. If you expect TO propose to girl
before the procession gets clear past you.
you'll have to hurry. Chicago Tribune
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11

Camphor is much used as remedy in
the beginning of a cold in the head.
Those of our readers who have faith IN
It's virtues will probably be interested in
what is said to be the Swiss method OF
applying it. The method Certainly ap
pears simple and efficacous: Half fill a
jug with boiling water, and into that put
teaspoonful of well powdered camphor.
Fashion out of writing paper a funnel.
with which cap the top of the jug.
The camphorated steam should be inhal.
ed through the nose for ten or fifteen
minutes, the inhalation being repeated.
if required, every four or FIVE hours. If.
in spite Of its unpleasantness, the inhala.
ton is persisted in, it is said that three
repetitions will always effect a cure. how
ever severe the "cold in the head may
no
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Frog Hunting,

Taking frogs for market MS a business
has so steadily increased during recent
years that, according to the estimate of
the United States food commission. the
annual catch in this country is but little
less than 100000 frogs with total
value to the hunters Of about 100000
and corresponding cost to the consum-
ers of not less than S150000. In all sec
tons of the United States frog hunting
has been carried on, in fifteen of the
states to such an extent that it may be
said to be Of economic Importance.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Honest Norway,

One day, while travelling in Norway. a
Chicago girl lost her diary during drive
through one of the pretty little intc"i. +
valleys and was much concerned. SD"
asked the hotel keeper to post a notice
and offer reward, but he declined to do
so on the ground that such a method Of
advertising lost property was not Gus
tomary in Norway and would be con.id
cred very bad form He promised. how
ever that he would have an announce
ment made from the pulpit Of the church
on the next Sunday, which would be vc"y
much better, because everybody would he
there, while comparatively few people
would see a notice in the hotel.-Chicago
Recnrl
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
POSTWAR AND cHlNAMAN.
New Carrier Worried When John
signcd His Nnme.


A comedy of errors over a special doliv-
cry letter occurred in Chinatown the uth-
err morning all because the carrier of the
letter was not familiar with the ways nj
the Chinese ana the Chinaman TO whom
the letter was addressed had never re-
ceiveI such a message before
The carrier was q new man an the lu-f.
ness. After he had delivered number If
the special delivery letters and taken l..
receipts for them be went to the China
mans pace Of business. which was a
laundry.
The carrier found the place locked. blt
he pounded away on the front door ami
finally sleepy looking Chinaman an
swercd him. After slipping down several
bars and unlocking half dozen locks the
Chinaman opened the door.
The unsophisticated carrier handed
him the letter and then let loose a terrih.
yell. The letter carriers hair stood "a
end as nine Cinnamon in various stages
Of undress came tumbling into the rn m
Ihey chartered away excitedly as they
passed the letter about ami carefully ex-
amined it.
Finally the bewildered carrier said to
the Chinaman to whom the letter had
been addressed:
Sign this book and hurry up"
More chattering followed. and finally
the owner Of the letter comprehended
what was wanted of him. He seized one
OF the brushes he used in making up his
laundry accounts and, dipping it into
pot of ink, proceeded to make hieroglyph-
les all over the page of the special de-
livery receipt book.
Here, stop that! That books no laun-
dry check" cried the now wildly excited
letter carrier as he saw visions Of trouble
when he returned to the postofice.
MY Nance" blandly responded John,
as he continued to daub up the book. The
carrier then inaisfad m tho CHR, mn, =.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Slightly Negative

Uncle Ephraim's rusty hat droops hum
bly, over his black and wrinkled forehead:
his coat pockets are sagging away from
his coat one knee is covered with blue
patch, the other one with a white one
sewed on with black thread his shoes are
full Of holes, and it would puzzle any one
to declare the original color of any ar.
ticle of his apparel. He pulls off the
dropping hat as he looks over my garden
fence and gives me a smile that makes
me feel better for an hour. miss Alice"
he asks cheerfully, ''you don't know no.
body that don't wanter hire nobody to do
nothin' fer 'em dis mawnin', does your
Harper's.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11

While a certain infantry regiment was
stationed at Adershot it had among 'l"
recruits a country yokel who was sush 70
great duffer that the sergeant could NJ,
beat anything into him.
One day. while the recruits were beng
inspected by the officers, the countryman
seemed more awkward than ever Al
last the angry drill sergeant shouted t.
him:
Man. what is your head on for?'
"Why, to keep my collar from slippin-
off was the ready retort.-Londou Spare
Moments
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Costly Kitchens,

The most costly kitchen belongs to IT,
Spanish court, the cooking utensils alon
having a value of $4,000 and bciu .
of great age. The kitchen of the saa
of Persia is, however. the most valuab e
in the world. Even the cooking pots q
lined with gold, and the plates and dishes
used at the royal table are of solid g9l T.
incrusted with precious stones. If it were
possible for the contents of the shah $
kitchen to be put up Mt auction, they
would realize over $5.000.OO0.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
Knew 1t All.

Hotel ProrGi-tor-Yes, I want a cl :.
at once What do you know about hot,
keeping?
Applicant-Know? See here, Unlns
you've got four or five years to spare
Il little chat, ask me what | don't kna
Itll take me less time What do l kn
about hotel keeping? Well, l shor
smile. l know it all-morc than all,
could run forty hotels ana play ten gauos
Of chess hiiadfolled. Why, man. l e.
10 hc a commercial trayeler.-New y.
Weekly.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
His Only Chance

Boggs' Old Friend-Great heavens.
man! Do l find you reduced to playing a
cornet at the street corner to make a liv-
ing?
Boggs-I amt doing this to make liv.
ing. My wife won't let me practice in
the house,
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11

In the matter of the sale of the real estate of
Sarah A. Brown, deceased.
AUGUST TERM, 1901.
In the matter of the report Of sales filed the
25th day of September. 1901.
Ordered, by tue Orphans Court this 25th day
of September, 1901, that the sale of the real
estate of Sarah A. Brown, late of Frederick
County, deceased, this day repo ted to this
Court by his executor be ratified and con-
firmed unless cause to the contrary be shown
on or before the 10Th day of October, 1901, pro
vided copy of this order be published in
some newspaper published in Frederick
County for three successive weeks prior to the
10Th day of October. 1901.
The executors report states the amount of
sales TO be three hundred and eighty. eight
dollars (S3S8I0)
G. BLANCHARD PHILPOT
RUSSELL f. LIGHTER,
ROGER NJ. NEIGH BOURS,
Judges of the Orphans Court.
True copy-Test:
CHAS. E. SAYLOR,
Register of Wills.
John Francis Smith,
Executor. [sept 27.4t.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11

He who takes the child by the hand
takes the mother by the heart.-Old
Proverb.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11

The man who prefers his dearest friend
to the call of duty will soon show that he
prefers himself to his dearest friend.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11

every true 0 Q m o era :
should subscribe to the
ClTtZERl; take your Cemo-
cratic paper and k . Q o
posted on the issues Of
the day.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1901-10-11
ny.2,' 96-yl
nRDER NISI ON SALES.
In the Orphans Court of Frederick County,
Maryland
The dial of the punch

In the matter of the sale of the real estate of
Sarah A. Brown, deceased.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

LaZAs
The offering at the Opera House for
two performances Saturday February
End, will be Charles Frohman's excel
lent company presenting David Belas-
co.'s enormous dramatic triumph,
"Zaza." 1t is hardly necessary to speak
here Of the success which this play has
obtained. 1t is far above the average
of plays, and its success in New York,
London and everywhere it has been
presented has been marvellous. Since
the play left New York business has
been phenomenal. The cast presenting
this great play is one Of unusual bril-
liancy, comprising the following dis
tinguished players: Blanche Hall, as
Zaza; Frank Mcdonald as Bernard
Dufrene; L. F. Morrison as Cascart;
Lizzie DuRoy as Rosa Bonnie; Eliza
beth Berkeley as Madame Dufrene, and
a host of others.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
A Texas Steer.

The coming of Hoyt's ga Texas
Steer" to the Opera House next Thurs
day afternoon and evening is unques-
tionably one of the most interesting
events of the theatrical season. Hoyt
stands at the head of the humorous
satirists of the day, and "A Texas
Steer" is his recognized masterpiece.
His caustic pen has in this effort been
couched against the morality, or the
lack Of it, as found in that hot-bed of
intrigue and shattered pledges, the ma
tional capitol at Washington Mr..
Hoyt fairly revels in the splendid OPP
pOrtunities for satire and character
portrayal from start to finish. While
the humor is spontaneous, it never de-
cends to vulgar horse play, and not
for an instant detracts from the pos
session, strong heart interest. In tie
hands of Pearl Hight, the delightful
role Of ''Bossy" is particularly be-
witching. Will H. Bray appears in bis
original role of The Minister of Da-
honey"
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
Bridge Soon Comp,eted.

The new bridge being erected by the
C. L. & W. railroad at Bridgeport,
just south of the passenger depot, will
soon be completed. as yesterday the
workmen completed the placing of the
iron girders. which arrived only a few
days ago, and the workmen expect to
have the bridge completed by to-mor-
row evening. The bridge is modern in
every way and is valuable improve
ment TO the road.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
Miss Hobbs.

The delightful comedy success, Miss
Hobbs" Jerome K. Jerome's latest
play, will be seen here again next
Wednesday, January Goth, matinee and
night, at the Opera House. Miss
Hobbs" is a mice" girl-the kind of
girl you like, in spite of yourself or,
rather, in spite of herself. Perhaps
it is because her creator deludes us
into the impression that he is going
to foist upon us a tiresome creature
in the form Of a New Woman" and
then surprises us with the welcome
revelation that after all she is only
one of the good "old" women, with an
oldfashioned heart hidden away un-
der her accumulation of views and
advanced ideas" Mr.. Jerome has
told the story in a series Of sprightly
and novel situations, and with the
brightest of dialogue, so that it keeps
you laughing all the time, and with
the best kind Of laughter-the good,
hearty, clean kind, which you are new
er ashamed to let ring out as loud as
lungs demand.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
The Eleventh Hour.

Tonight at the Grand Opera House
for the first time in this city, Lincoln
J. Carriers scenic comedy Drama The
Eleventh Hour" a play that is calcu-
lated to please everyone, a play that
has more startling climaxes than any
thing the author has heretofore pre-
sented, will be seen. The first acts
show rural home in DeKalb county
Ill, the third act, Block Tower on
the famous Bismarck Gardens Of Chi
cago, resort patronized by the elite
of the city. The Fifth and last act
is a reproduction from a photograph
of one Of the best millionaires man
sions on Michigan avenue, showing a
most gorgeous drawing room with all
of its costly bric-a-brac, tapestry and
hangings Everything used in this
scene is carried by this company and
has been made in fac smile of the
original.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

Many post-election stories are in cir
culation which tend to prove that
there was never before so much
scratching of ballots at a municipal
election held in Wheeling. The hand
some majority given Mayor Sweeney
is an evidence of this. Friends of
Chief w. NJ Clemans say that he was
cut 500 votes by Republicans. Friends
of City Clerk O'Brien have made a
systematic effort to ascertain how
many Democratic votes he received.
One of them stated to Register re-
porter that he had consulted election
officers in all the voting precincts in
the city, tabulated the figures, and
found that O'Brien received in round
numbers, 1000 Democratic votes Clerk
O'Brien certainly does not owe his
election to the voters of his own party
A great many persons who are fond
of indulging in speculation of the sort,
are pointing out how certain influences
brought about certain results in GER
tain precincts. All in ALL a study Of
the returns, in connection with even
a superficial knowledge of the factors
in the election, proves very interest
ing.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

Theatre-goers elsewhere seem to be
taking kindly to Elmer Walters pro-
duction, Where is Cobb" which will
be presented at the Grand Opera House
Thursday, Friday and Saturday and
usual Saturday matinee, and on that
occasion the farce loving public of this
city, will. no doubt, be afforded the
opportunity to indulge itself to the
fullest extent of enjoyment. The COM
pany promises to be composed of com
edians who possess talent as fun max
ers as well as singers and dancers of
natural ability A full scenic investure
is carried by the company.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

The names of appointees of City
Sergeant-elect John S. Ritz. published
exclusively in the Sunday Register,
We're read with general interest, and
had the effect Of gratifying or blast
ing the hopes OF many persons who
were after places OH the new force.
There is one Republican among the
number. Charles Bickerton, of the Is
land, who was dismissed from Chief
Clemans' force. There will be no
trauble about the Chief and his force
qualifying, independent of the action
of Council, as they may be sworn in by
the Mayor
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

Lewis Jones, manager of the Aetna
mill. He had host of friends in this
city who viii deeply regret his death.
He was a brother of Miss Lizzie Jones.
OF the Island. The remains will be
brought here, probably Monday, and
due notice Of the funeral arrangements
will be made in the local papers.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
Inaugural Excursions to Washington
March 1. 2 and 3. 1901, Balti-
more & Ohio r. r.

For the Inaugural Ceremonies of
President Mckinley and Vice President
Roosevelt, at Washington, D. c., March
4th, the Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
will sell excursion tickets at rate of
One Fare for the Round Trip, good go
ing on all regular trains of March l,
2 and 5, valid for return until March
s, 1901, inclusive.
Solid vestibuled trains of elegant
Coaches, Pullman Drawing Room
Sleeping Cars, Observation Cars. Ex-
cellent Dining Car Service
For tickets, time of trains, sleeping
car accommodations. call on or ad-
dress T. C. BURKE, Passenger and
Ticket Agent Baltimore & Ohio Rail-
road Co.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
Edward Jones Dead.

Edward Jones. formerly OF Wheeling,
Island. but for the past two years con-
necred with the iron mill at Struthers.
O., died at the latter place yesterday
morning. He was son Of the late
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
4MUSE IL rs.

GRAND OPERA HOUsE-First half Of
week, The Eleventh Hour" last half Of
week, Where Is Cobb?'
OPERA HOUSE-Wednesday matinee
and night, Miss Hobbs;;'' Thursday, "A
Texas Steer" Saturday. "Zaza."
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
ORDINATION SERVICES.
The Rev. VIM. X. Geese Ordained Las-
Evening at the st. johns

The Rev. VIM. X. Geese Ordained Last
Evening at the st. Johns
Church.
The services in the st. Johns Ger
man Evangelical church last evening
were very interesting and impressive
as at this service VIM. K. Geese was
ordained to the holy MINISTRY. Mr.
Geese is a son of Carl Geese, Of the
South Side, and is quite well known
in the city. His school life was great
ly interrupted on account of III health
and he completed his study unser the
tutorship Of the Rev VIM. Ulfert, pas
tor Of the St. Johns church. The of
floating ministers were tie Rev. VIM
Ulfert, the Rev. G. Schmidt, of Nc
Keesport, and the Rev. Herman Haas,
of the ST. Paups church OF this city.
The order OF services follows:
Inrocation.
Prayer............:..:Rev Herman Haas ois
Hymn.
sermon-Luke Is. Rev. c. Schmidt
Ordination of Mr.. VIM. K. Geese.
Hymn.
sermon-Matt. 4: te......Rev. Vim. Geese
Hymn Observation-Disclosures. Choir
Announcements.
Hymn
Benedction.
Mr.. Geese has been called to the pas
torate OF the Spring Hill church, Ale
gheny, and will take charge of this
congregation next Sunday.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

See Powers & Mayors stock of
.LArt Nouyeau" Turquoise Matrix
Brooch Pins and other novelties ut
DiIIox. HAxCHER 4 CO.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28
MINISTERS IlHE 4 HAND
MANY sIGNERs YESTERDAY.

Petitions Were Distributed to Pas
tors of All the Protestant Churches
In the COunty-Rev. n. r. Bigger
Delivered . Talk in the Pulpit.
Plans of the Federation of
Churches.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1901-01-28

Considerable interest is being mani
tested in the situation in Council.
where both parties are striving for
political advantage. The position
taken by the Democratic members has
been endorsed by leaders of their
party, who are disposed to insist upon
concessions in the Second Branch,
which is tie politically There was
no conference of the Democratic mem
bers yesterday, but the course to be
pursued has been left to a committee
The statement that compromise prop
ositions were submitted by the Demo-
Gratis, was erroneous. All the PROPOSE
lions came from the other side In
the conference late Saturday afternoon
between a committee of Republicans
and five Democratic members, the mat
ter of both sides going into the Second
Branch on equal footing, pending the
recovery of Mr.. Killeen, was talked of,
but was not made as a formal propo-
sition from either side, and could not
have been considered in that light, as
the Democrats were not authorized to
act for the minority members as a
body
1t was learned yesterday that Mr..
Killeens condition was improved, and
that it might be possible for him to
leave his home to-day or tomorrow,
if the weather be favorable. A. report
emanating from partisan Republican
source, that MIR. Killeen was simply
playing for political advantage, is lit
tie short of brutal under the circum-
stances.
1t is understood that some of the Re-
publican members conferred yesterday
afternoon, and outlined a course of pro-
ceedure, but what they determined to
do could not be learned. The Republic
can side of Council has taken a recess
until 1880 o'clock this evening. They
admit their inability to compel attend
ance of Democrats, who will not be
members of Council until they are
sworn in, and who have twenty days
in which to he sworn in AS the sit
uation stands, the Democrats will not
go into a meeting of the Second
Branch without Mr.. Killeen, unless a
compromise upon mutually agreeable
terms is effected in advance.