The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-08-21
The Soda Fountain Clerk.

Consider now the mock and humble |
soda fountain clerk.
Who draweth off the moistened air
with nimble turn and jerk.
His garb is always spotless white
when 6rst he puts it on.
But, lo before an hour hath passed
its spotlessness hath gone.
For then he hath vanilla on the
bosom Of his vest, end s,reake of red
raspberry make his trousers seem a
jest.
While chocolate and ginger give a IT,
gerish effect to the balance of the
garments in which he is proudly deck-
! Cd.
His hair is limp and languid, and is
parted square and true.
Above the very center of his noae
| which turneth blue.
Because he hath to liugcr in the
acid snd the ice. to fix up funny
mixtures for the one that hath the
price.
He maketh strange concoctions in
the line of fancy drinks, and all tho
while ho watcheth for persuasive sorts
of winks.
From early morn he twisteth at
the soda water spout, and turneth
the ice. crusher till the ice hath given
out.
He diggcth in the ice cream and he
rusheth with the glass, while his dead
ly hated rival buys the soda for the
lass.
Yea, verify, the soda clerk, he
hath sorry time, for he must know
the way to get . cents out of each
dime;
And he must be hustler that
there will not be loss of ice or water,
or he'll tremble at the boss.
How often, oh, how often, hath the
soda jerker grinned at the one who
paycth niokcls for penny's worth Of
wind;
How often, oh, how often, doth
calm and peaceful smile go fitting O er
| hio NAouBC WuCu q ulluh Soco OuC VI
style.
But ah, alas, my son, sometime he
feeleth very bad, and then is when the
ladies come with garments rich and
glad.
The ladies fill the rockers and the
foorways and tho stools, aud insist
upon liquid that both elevates and
cools.
And one declareth that she'd like
some chocolate with cream, and,
when he draweth it, straightway ooh,
mol" the maid doth scream.
And then she W Heth that abe hath
already changed her mind, and want
eth just phosphate with piece Of
lemon rind.
And yet, again, the other maids de-
clare they do not know just what they
wish, and on and on their mild obiec-
tions flow.
The weary soda fountain clerk sug-
gesteth this and that, from plain old
lemon phosphate to dose of anti-fat.
And finally the ladies fair with one
consent conclude that chocolate and
cream shall be their soda fountain
food.
Now, when he draweth all the
drinks, hi troubles are not done
Nay, verify, my trusting child, they
are but half begun
For each and every maiden there
doth straightway rises and say:
Now, girls, I'll think IFS awful if
you d. not let me pay"
And all protest, and all object, and
all their plans defend,
And not one takes out her purse
her lovely cash to spend.
Now, finally, the soda clerk sag
gestcth that each maid shall pay for
what she drark-and then beginneth
the tir-de.
For all the ladies vow in wrath
yea, yea, they almost sob-that they
will see his employer, and take from
him his job.
And then they take their parasols,
and sternly go away, and not cent
of all that bill do they take steps to
pay.
The gentle soda fountain clerk, he
fallcth in daze, and lcaneth on the
vichy tube, and wicked things he
says.
Is this not true, just as we have
composed it, with work?
1t surely is-and if you doubt, go
ask the soda clerk.
Baltimore dmcricdn.