Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-28

sue was the KIND OF <xlx1 tnaC looked
- xell without one as with It. she
Had been known to write these teeny
little Verses about the Wildwood and
slle Heather, although they di0n'tshavA
anything OF the kind within ten miles
of lneir House. Sue was SO Emancipat-
ed that she used bull 's-eye SpactacIes
ana a Mans Shoes, and she took Long
1.eps when she went out to crush the
Cigarette Evil Che Worm of Man
who saw Susie bearing down OF him
wearing a kind OF a Roosevelt look.
usually got of the sidewalk and tried
to hide behind a I'ree-Box.
1t will be understood that when Papa
Tilbury and the former Jubbleson and
Theodore and Sue got together and be-
gan to gather a Head Of Steam, they
created an Atmosphere of Culture that
you could cut with Knife.
Sad to relate there was a Youngest
Child named Jimmy, who carried all
the Ear Marks of Black Sheep. He
dia not like to wash his Neck or comb
his Hair, and he Bucked like Cayuse
against sitting in the Library to read
Essays by Hamilton Wright Mabie. His
Mother often said that the Law of He
redity must have jumped a Cog in his
Case, for she could not understand how
anyone could want to got out in the
Alley and play with the Irish. When
Theodore and Sue and the Old People
sa. at the Table and talked about the
Cosmogony of Correlarive Forces, jim
my either looked at his Plate or else
pointed at the dishes he wanted pushed
over his Way. AS soon as he had bolt
ed enough to last him he would work a
stealthy Escape by way of the Kitchen
and on the way out he would remark
to the Cook, who was his Pal, that the
Gang in there gave him a sharp, sting
ing Pain.
Occasionally his Mother would go
through his Clothes and discover one
of these dog eared Five-Cent Libraries
that was being handed around from Kid
to Kid as long as it would hGd to-
gether. 1t was generally something
about Handsome Harry, the Boy Prize
Fighter, and Jimmys Mother would
come very near having a Duck Fit. ~
did seem strange to her that Llneai
Descendant of Ike Jubbeson Should
want to read such demohlizing Trash.
The Family held May Conferences
to worry over Jimmys Future. There
did not seem to be much Chance to
pad out his stunted Mentality so as to
put him in the same Glass with Thee
dore and Sue. Nlt it was decided to
give him as mtsh Education as he was
capable of taking on, in the Hope that,
at least, he might turn out to be a
Business Nan or something like that.
Jimmy was sent 10 neighborlng
Freshwater College and told to follow
in the footsteps of Theodore, but he
lost NE Trail the first Day.
Now, although Jimmy was hopeless
ly N. G. in his Studies, he had not
Seen wasting his Time while playing in
Vacant Lots with the Tough Outfit that
lived over beyond the Tracks. He had
developed an Up-Shoot that fooled the
Best of them, and he could slam them
right over the Die every time. Give
him a nice Chew of Gum and let him
work up gentle Precipitation and he
could wrap the Ball around the Bat
ter's Neck every time he let go Of it
and Fan them out as fast as they were
fed to him. So he became the Star
Pitcher of the First Nine The new
South-Paw Twirler was greeted with
glad Acclaim by the whole School.
Small boys followed him and talked
about him in Whispers. He had his
Picture in the Monthly, and the College
Girls made Sofa Pillows for him, and
everybody said he was a Nectarine.
AS Public Character and Popular Idol
he made Theodore ana Sue and the rest
of his People look Small and Cheap.
On the Night aIIer he won the Inter-
Collegiate Championship for the Team
by retiring all the vaunted Batsmen Of
the Rival Institution, the whole Mob of
Students came around to the Tilbury
Place and tore down the Fence and ran
over the Flower Beds and whooped and
yowled and wanted to know what was
the Matter with JIMMY. The Band
played "a Hot Time" and Jimmy had
to make a Speech and they gave him
nine Rails and there were high Doings-
until far into the Night. The other
Tilburys were hiding around in differ
ert narts of the House, feeling sort Of
Dazed.
Jlmmy's Fame was spread abroad by
the Associated Press, and presently a
League Manager came along and sign
ed the Celebrity at Figure repre-
senting about four times what Theo-
dore got for being a Professor, and at
least twice as much as Father could pull
out in a Year. even when things were
coming his Way, Jimmy went out on
the Circuit and began to get his Name
sprinkled all through the Baseball Col
umn. The only way Theodore could
have got his Name into the Paperi
would have been by going out into thu
Street and letting something run owr
him. Jimmy mailed all the Sporting
Papers home to Sue, so that she Guild
study the scores and see that he vas a
Credit to the Family
Thus the obscure Name OF filbury
L