davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
what He would Think.

Johnny" said the young man, who
wanted to conciliate him, III should
give you a penny what would you
thinkY "
"Humph! I'd think mos likely y
wanted me to- buy automobile an
break my neck."-Denver Times.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

New York City, June IL, 1901 heartily re-
family physician prescribed your Tea, and after
taking four packages my system is in perfect
condition and my complexion has become
clear" 1t has been demonstrated by years of
cleanses the system and purifies the blood I;
from all reports 1t would seem that nothing can
equal this simple herb medicine that cures in
Natures way.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Mrs. Seldom Home DO you know
anything about that family that is NOV,
ing into the fiat in the next block?
Mrs. Nexdore-No, but l think they
are rather selfish, disagreaable people.
They took all their household furniture
there in these big, covered vans, 80 no
body could tell what it looked like
Chicago Tribune.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
The Typewriter Invention.

A statistician has proved that the inven-
ton of the typewriter has given employ
ment to 500 600 people, but he fails to state
how many cases of weak stomachs and dys-
pepsia it has induced All people of Sc
dentary occupation need Hostetter's Ston,-
ach Bitters 1t is wonderful medicine
and helps nature bear the strain which
ensues from confinement. IT also cures
dyspepsia, indigestion, constipation and
hatulency. Be sure to try it and you will
not be disappointed.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
On to His Curves.

Reckless Youth-Father, dear, would
it be asking to much for you to advance
me small loan-say about $50.
The GOvernor-Not at all, my son.
You might ask me for double the amount
with equal LIKELIHOOD of getting it. You
can't afford to be modest in these little
requests bit more than l can afford to
grant them.-OhiO State Journal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
The Blood '5 s';l,st .

When h. natural and healthy circulation Of the blood the entire
svsy nse This rapid flow Of the blood the the
or tor the growth and the nu
w can tightly absolutely blood and perfect
T S Blood Poison the greatest to mankind the
Rneum Psoriasis Ttern fact the majority Of human caused
and impoverished blood
Az
especially old
of
blood
@ or blood trouble which lotions
they manifest themselves ulcers itching
blood
neuais blood
blood medicine
the disease 'front.'
tOU00G00 61000
clogs MP and iunpaxs
0t0O00 Ok00080 strength and vitality
blood, and when and veins aeouc
filed with
reliable all
curing the past hiZ year. and more popular today We Glad
aDo ys case; tns inioaon VII nothing and
eaaAdeneA ThR SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY AT HNrA az
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
II Would Seem So.

Rubberton-May l inquire what your
business is, stranger?
Stranger (haughtily)|Sir, I'm gen.
tleman.
Hubberton-Well, 1 reckon that's a
good business, stranger, but you're not
the only man that's failed at it.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
SOIicitOus,

Little Ethel guess you don't like
coffee, do you, Mr.. Smith?
Mr.. Smith-Why, yes, Ethel. l am
very fond of coffee.
Little Ethel-Well, you make such a
noise swallowing it that / thought it
hurt you.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
A Bonanza

Here's distinguished scientist who
says that after all there Is nothing In
germs"
Nothing in germs. Nonsense! Why.
look how much the doctors have made
out Of them."-Detroit Free Press.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Yeraatile.

Funnybiz-Penwhiz Is most versa.
tile man; he has written book on sew.
eral thousand different subjects.
Fiddlesticks-Wh-wh
Funnybiz-Fact; he compiled a die
tiOnary.-Ohio State Journal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

"Mr. Waffles," said the landlady, 81
ha1ha word to say to you"
make 1t a dozen, Mrs. Fry" remark
cd the young man.
"Mr. Wafiles," said the landlady, you
have been smoking In the parl0r."
Eyes, Mrs. Fry"
"You have smoked In the parlor many
times, Mr.. Waffles. And you have
smoked in your room, and in the u
brary, and even in the dining-room-
and you owe me for three weeks board,
Mr.. Waffies."
Yes, Mrs. Fry"
Where there is SO much smoke, Mr..
Waffles, there must be some fire."
So she fred him.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Phenomenal.

1--WE have the most wonderful cook
you ever saw. You know, we only en-
gagged her as plain cook"
"YesT"
well, she makes good bread" Town
and Country.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
The Very Ideal

Deddebete-I want you to measure
me for a new suit.
Tailor-Why, you haven't paid me for
the last one / made for you.
Dedebete-Huh! It's worn out long
agO.-BOstOn Post.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Real Names Of Some Noted Rulers.
Suppose that some morning there
should appear in the newspapers such
an item as this: "Mr. and Mrs. Albert
e. Victim, accompanied by their
nephew, Mr.. Frederick w. v. A.
Hohenzollern, sailed yesterday from
Liverpool for New York." How many
people would give more than passing
glance at this announcement? Yet II
would be q piece of news calculated
to throw the people Of New York, and
the whole of this country, in fact, into
a paroxysm Of excitement and feverish
expectation, as must be admitted when
the names Of King Edward VII, Queen
Alexandra and Emperor William OF
Germany are respectively substituted
for the true family names given In the
supposititious item. Then there is the
youthful matron, Mrs. Henry Schwerin,
who yields more power than any other
woman Of twenty-one now living. She
is known to the world as Wilhelmina
Of Holland, and Is the only queen in
the world to-day with the same powers
as a King.-Ladles' Home Journal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Washington. She
is wonderfully
fascinating, and
just as chic ms
any 1901 girl.
Mrs. Letter and
Mrs. Reginald Dc
KOven and the
wives of the cabi.
net officers are es.
pecially interest
ed In her. She
recently gave @
concert at the ex'
exclusive Wash
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Revolutionary War Claim.

A Revolutionary War claim for $4OO,
the special value Of which was $4,000.
contracted under the act Of 1779, has
recently been liquidated by the Treas
ury Department. The interest and prin-
cipal amounted to $12,906.2O.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Her Fate.

Mind Reader-You're in love with q
man. He has light hair.
Bridget-NO. He has dark hair.
Mind Reader - Then he must have
bleached it.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Miss City entertaining small country
notion store, wherein was collected a
little of everything)-Have you Black's
" In Silk Attire?"
Clerk-No. But here's one new piece
of Anderson gingham, ma'am.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Hoods I0rsap0riua
JUST AS WE ALL SUSPECTED.

JUST AS WE ALL SUSPECTED.
doctor, what's the difference between
sanatarium and sanatoriumW
81 ought not to tell-it's really pre-
fessional secret"
ooh! Tell me, doctor-I won't tell a
soul"
"Well-on your honor, nowhere
isn't any difference.-Puck.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
A Natural Inference,

Mrs. Bertwhistle (automobilling)-
hear the very latest dance is called :" The
Automobile"
Dusnap-Um; suppose it is sort of
breakdown. brooklyn Eagle.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Thought He Was One Of Them.

Manning-A year or two ago l advised
Pitcher to write book on the famous
men he had met.
Boyd-And did he do it?
Manning-He wrote an autobiography
Boston Transcript.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

The Best Prescription for Malaria
Ihills and Fever "a bottle of Groves Taahele~
Chtl! Tonic. 1t II simply iron and ouinino ~
taSteless form. No Cure, No Paw, Price nc
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

He Our cook is so careful about
thieves. She always locks the doors,
even in the daytime.
She That's nothing. Our cook al
ways keeps policeman in the kitchen.
-Tid-Bits.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Slow

Policeman-What are you trying tc
put that letter in there for? That AIM
letter box; it's fire alarm box.
Mr.. Wayback-I know all that, but
that house over there is on fire, and I'm
going to notify the fire department.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Patents Procured.

Prompt. Efficient and Satisfactory Service
Attorneys fee not payable till patent granted
Try us. Taber & Whitman Co, SS-40 Wardel
Bldg, Washington. D. G.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.-MRs. THos
ROBINS, Maple street, Norwich, N. Y,
Feb. II, 1900.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Learn Good From Evil.

Train yourself to find the good in what
seem evil, to make of disaster an OPP
portunity for your courage, to master
suffering by patience, to learn from
sorrow sympathy--G. s. Merriam.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Mothers win find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Lead, Copper and Iron Wires.
II lead wire will sustain weight
of twenty-eight pounds copper wire
Of the same thickness will uphold 3O2
pounds and one Of iron $40 pounds.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
A .r.,,.ss.. I,.,., y

A Tennessee Lark"
The Tennessee Lark"-a fresh
young singer from Memphis, Tennis
oil the rage among society people Of
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Too Expensive.

Two tons Of beets are equal in feed.
Ing value to four tons of hay, but its
cultivation has proved to expensive to
I've profitable
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
When you take Groves Tasteless Chill Tonic,
because the formula is plainly printed on every
nine in tasteless form. No Cure. Ne Pay. Soc.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

10 OURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
lake Laxative Bromo Quinine TabletA An
1xuNists refund the money lift fails 70 cure
E. ~. Groves signature ison ooch boz. -.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

The first book printed In the limits
Of the United States was the bay.
Psalms Book" which was issued In
Cambridge. Mass., In 1910. Specimens
of this publication are extremely rars
and command very high prices.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Don't 'look around" too long; settle
Down and do something.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
The Climax,

Tommy-You must be a regular lady
killer, Mr.. Sappy.
Mr.. Sapp-Why do you think that,
Tommy?
Tommy-Well, Mabel said that after
you left last night she nearly died laugh
ing.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
exclusive Was

TENNESSEE LARK ington CLUB,
when a tremendous ovation was given
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Thy Wsrs False.

Blithers-He called me liar to my
very teeth.
Blathers-Servesy you right; leave your
teeth home next time.-OhiO State Jour
nal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Eczema

How It reddens the skin, itches, ooses.
dries and scalesI
Some people call 1t letter, milk crust OK
salt rheum.
The suffering from II Is sometimes In
tense; local applications are resorted to-
they mitigate, but cannot cure.
II proceeds from humors inherited or ac-
qulred and persists until these have been
removed.
Hoods JdrS1pdriHd
positively removes them, has radically
and permanently cured the worst cases, and
is without an equal for all cutaneous
eruptions.
HOOPS Pills are The best cathartic Price Is centA
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

Mr.. Muggins-B Been hunting YETI
Mr.. Mo0ver-Yes.
Mr.. Muggins Shoot any ducks?
Mr.. MoOver-Wasn't hunting ducks.
Mr.. Muggins-No?
Mr.. Moover-No-huntin' house.
Columbus (O.) State Journal.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26

No. Sss.: ~ 81 xsSss IS So sss
laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure G cold In
one DAY. No cure, No Pay. Price Is centA
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-09-26
Polluted BLOOD
Breeds 0le0ase

more flied with new rich bloc,
grow stronger, and sores and er,
S. S. S. h the only Ruaraut'
and most reliable In al blood d
during the past fifty years and
TO send you our book free, and i
about your case ; this informatil
&nced and educated doctor.
eon6dencA TfiR SWlF
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
Zjze Young Mam from tie Country.
BY ALFRED CECIL.

Is there any question why the country boy succeeds? It may also be said that an analogy exists between boys and rlents The garden must be, recruited from the field, the city from the country. Men as well as plants give out, City life tears down. Country life builds up. The demands of the city life on the brains of men and on their nerve centers exhaust in about three to five generations After five generations of city life the descerd- ants of the vigorous young man from the country either turn back to the country or become dere iict5; If poor, moored to park benches; or. If wealthy, to chairs in club room windows. Those who have studied the generations of distinguished families have observed that when there has been no introduction of vigorous country blood. the forceful characteris- tics of the founder of family have en- tirely disappeared and left an illustrious name to be borne by a very weak and foolish great, great grandchild. This is particularly noticeable in the great En- glish families. When a man of distinc- ton today, in England, belongs to long race, it is easily noticeable In the family genealogy that some link in the chain has been strengthened by the introduc- ton of some robust blood. Indeed, the mesalliance of some noble youths have been blessings in disguise; more than one farmers daughter or some incon- spicuous young woman has given renewed energy to a race by the tonic of her blood
 "Is there place for me in the great city life?'' asks the country youth. The an- swer Is, "Yes! The present and the fu- ture teens with possibilities. Every ave- nue is open, every gate swings wide. Travel far and travel high. Let every country lad feel and say: Tn me rests my own destiny. Pursue it will. It is not in mortals to command success, but I can do more-deserve 1t"
The age-herald., 1901-12-01

REMOVAL NOTICE.
 On and after Monday, De- cember 2d, the Birmingham Conservatory of Music will be in it's new quarters Roberts Building. Third Ave-, between 18th and 18th streets.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
SRVE 6IGhR BOX TOPS
 or TrdylOf, MCDOndId & Co.'S FINE HAVANA CIGARS.

For new subscribers The Herald will accept cigar box tops of the following brands of Traylor, Mo Donald & Company's fine cigars in payment of subscription to the Daily Age-Herald, as follows: .Magistrate." Traylor's Travellers. Traylor's Havanas Right of Way, Sportsmans Delight, Bob White. Little Clear Havanas, Traylor's s Specials. Traylor's Boquet and General Gordon sent by mail or express, charges prepaid. Three months subscription for 10 tops. Six months subsc, iption for 20 tors. Twelve months subscription for 40 tops.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01

Do you trade at ReadQuar. tersP If not, why notP Fur. niture, Carpets, Rugs. Dishes, Lamps, Stoves, at
 Peter Zinszer'S.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01

Age Herald Engraving Co. makes cuts. Both line cuts and half tones.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
How Geraldine Was Hunkered.

From the Chicago Record-Herald.
 No" said the beautiful girl who had just won the Barclay medal after playing three extra holes with the lady who had held it for two successive seasons, "I can't-can't be yours. Let us talk of the beautiful approach made at the seventh hole"
 "Oh, bother, your old approaches, Ger aldinev' he petulantly exclaimed. You know I don't play golf and don't. know anything about the game. But I love you. Oh, love you so much that if you will not consent to be mine l will not want to live. With your love I can do much-I know I can. have 1t in me to be great but I shall be one of the worlds miserable failures if you turn from me. Have pity!''
 '1 do pity you" she answered, rolling down her sleeves and hiding the beautiful rounded, brown muscles of her forearms; "I pity you with all my heart. But would you have pity instead of love? No, I give you credit for being more manly than that"
 Tell me why you cannot learn to love me-" he pleaded. There must be some reason
 Well" she replied, you don't care enough for golf to learn to play it. and l feel sure that you would want te have me stop if I consented to. be your wife. And there Is another reason. My ancestors came over on the Maynower. My father is very proud of this, and insists that I never shall marry any man who cannot show that he is descended from somebody who was on that ship. You have con fessed that you are unable to do this Now you know ell. I might under other circumstances learn to love you-Archi- bald-indced,, IT do love you, but there mol must not allow you to kiss me, and we can, never be more than mere friends"
 A little sob broke from her lips as she turned her back to him. showing the strong brindle muscles of the neck. and
The age-herald., 1901-12-01

he stood for moment like statue of despair.
 q can't see.'' he bitterly said at last, ''why your, father has any cause to be more proud of his family than I should be of mine l am not descended from any body who had ticket on the Mayf1ower, I admit that, but one of my ancestors fell at Bunker Hill. and that
 At where?' she cried, turning with a glad, eager look in her eyes
 Bunker Hill,'' he answered. That, 1t seems to me, should be-
 "Oh, Archibald Archibald,' she sobbed, throwing herself into his arms, take me-take mel I can forget all the rest. Papa being crazy on golf, too, can for give anything as long as your ancestor was mixed up with a Bunker. We shall be so"-
 But she didn't finish. His head was bent downward and they were too busy to talk.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
Merely a Mistake.

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
 This corn I bought of you the other day was too hard to eat" said the CiAn- ton Street woman as she overhauled the vegetables on a peddlers wagon.
 Sure you bought it of me, ma'm?" he asked in reply.
 I'm sure it was this wagon"
 But my son was driving 1t that day, and he probably made a mistake''
 How mistaken she asked
 Why, the corn he intended to sell to a man for his hogs he sold to you for your boarders If it made any difference I'll do the fair thing by you this morn- ing"
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
BEAUTIFUL 4. A handsome hsn;ls exhibit WAL Ln UULUn0 ors by artists with

national reputations can be seen in Colby's Wall Paper and Art Store, 2023 First avenue.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
confesses to a Shortage.

St. Louis, November S0.-Theodore Dud- dlestone confidential clerk at the Na- tional Stock Yards Bank, East St. Louis, today confessed to c. G. Knox, president of the bank, that his books showed a shortage of between $11 ,O00 and S12, 900. The money, he said was lost in speculation, principally in cattle. It is said the short age will not affect the bank in the slight est as Duddlestones bond protected it,
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
Insurgents Active in 5atanuas.

Manila, Novem Der 30.-The insurgents are active in Batangas Province. Brig adler General Bell. with a battalion of the Fifth infantry, leaves here today to assume command of the troops in Batangas. Recently the insurgents kill ed merchant In the town of Batangas, terrorized the people living In the out skirts of the town and escaped after a running fight with small detach- ment of the eighth infantry.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01
Jesse French New Music Hail.

Over tbeir new store on Third avenue the Jesse French Piano and Organ Com pany are fitting up an elegant music hall
 The company have just placed an order with Dewberry & Sons of this city for several hundred modern assembly chairs to seat the hall, which will be one of the prettiest and most comfortable in the city.
The age-herald., 1901-12-01

WantedAat once a first class man to manage a cigar and news business-Address Cigar, care Age Herald.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1901-06-20

no. She had come far from that. But,
anyhow. there would be shelter under
that grim roof. And already she was
drenched. Her trim little slippers
wer as so much wet paper.
20, my hiatt" she said helplessly. In
that instant her greater trouble was
forgotten IN the lesser. my poor, pref
ty hatl"
A voice calling her brought her to a
breathless pause.
That voice! Deep, resonant, perhaps
a little imperious, was the only one
in all the world that could stir her
calm pulses to faster beating.
Watt" cried Harold. He gained
on her in rapid strides. Where were
you going? We missed you. We
fancied you had lost your way.
came to look for you" He was be
side her, tall and straight and master
full. He drew her half-resisting hand
within his arm. "Come! It's sudden
storm, and it's going to be bad one
while it lasts. Hear that thunder!
Come! We will go into the haunted
mill beyond"
Haunted" shs cried and shrank
back. 20, can't go there! Pm-Pm
afraid of ghosts!"
TN daylight" he laughed. "Ill pro
tect you. You must come. You'll
catch your death of cold else. There!
Now, will you run for it!'
And run they did, into the grim old
building, and up the dirty, deserted
and rickety stairs into the big, bare
room overhead. Leslie went to the
window and stood looking out Harold
whistled and walked around, his hands
behind his back. But suddenly he
was misunderstanding A smile illum-
ined his countenance. He went on
tiptoe to Leslie, put his arm around
her, and laid an admonitory palm
firmly over her mouth.
'Listen!" he whispered. ''Listen,"
Thus imprisoned, her indignant eyes
questioned him, but she listened.
Some people-two Of them-were
speaking below. Evidently others of
their party had found shelter here.
"And so you really thought" said
the voice of Preston Graham, that
admired that little Leslie Forth!
There's only one girl for me, HAZEL"
WELL" returned Hazel Wise, you
and she seemed pretty friendly at the
Edgewood dance"
Because you would talk with
Harold Lester"
'Lesteri" disdainfully. "That fell
low"
Overhead that fellow" kissed the
pretty lips his hand had covered
Leslie was red as rose. Her eyes
were shining like stars.
How foolish we've been!" she
whispered.
''Hark!" they heard Preston say.
Thought heard people upstairs. You
know they say this old mill is
haunted"
1T isl" called out Harold, in voice
mirth kept from being properly sepul-
chral.
Then, before the others could reach
them he held his sweetheart in his
arms and kissed her again. Dear
ghost." she said. ''Dear-dear ghosti"
Then the summer storm was over.