The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-05-03
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force In local politics? Tommy's Pop
The police force. my son.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Old Gentleman-Here. sir. how is it
catch you kissing my daughterg The
Lover-By sneaking in on US, SIR
Philadelphia Press.
There's a lucky man for your
"How's thatT" why. he's got but
Ter so dignlfed that he even awes the
cook into submission" brooklyn Life.
Tess-Mr. Phoxy seems very anxious
to have his wife make over her last
years gown. Jess--He'n make over
$50 or $40 If she does.-Philadelphia
Press.
Eyes, your honor. the butcher was
ugly. l asked him for choice cut"
"What did he give you? IAN under
cut" "Three dollars and costs."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II suppose you love to give pleasure"
said the altrurian to the humorous lee
turer. eyes. indeed" replied the other.
"Pd have to quit If didn't, you know"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
$50 your son has returned from col
lege, has hep" Eyes" "Did he get his
degreeT ayes; he got about fifteen
degrees below the graduating require
ment."-Richmond Dispatch.
She-Indeed, it's not an easy thing
for a girl to get a husband. He-Why,
pretty girl can make her choice of
four out of every five men she meets.
She-But It's the fifth man she wants.
"What do you call these?" he asked
at the breakfast table. FLANNEL
cakes" replied the wife of his bosom.
"Flannel? They made mistake and
sold you corduroy this time. "-Balti-
more American.
Over Nothing: This wireless teleg-
raphy reminds me of a groundless
quarrel" "What possible connection
is there between the twoT IT'S prac-
t1cally having words over nothing
Philadelphia Times.
Mrs. Housekeep-Wh don't you &C
to work? Weary Walker-Well, lady,
yer see I'm wat yer might call an ''un-
happy medium" Mrs. Housekeeping
deed? And what do you mean by that?
Weary Walker-Why. I'm too heavy
fur light work and too light fur heavy
work.-Philadelph Press.
Elderly saw you with the charm
ing Miss Hedstrong to-day. know
her parents very well. Youngman-Do
you? l wish you'd put in a bad word
for me with them. Elderly-You mean
good word. of course. Youngman
No, don't. If only get her parents
to oppose me I'll land the girl sure
Philadelphia Press.
81 never undertake an important
business venture in the afternoon; his
tory has established n superstition that
makes 1t seem unfortunate to do so"
ITO what historical event do you at
tribute such a theory as thatT "Why.
the fall of Adam. That happened at
the approach of Eve. you know
Richmond Dispatch.
Tailed One: "Euphemla," said young
Spoonamore, will you marry me?" Il
will noty replied the young woman, in
dignantly "Mss Lickladder." he re
\ Joined, making an entry in a small
memorandum book and replacing it in
his pocket. you have the honor of be-
ing the first girl who has refused me
since the new century began.'-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Harry-Uncle George, at the end of
this marriage notice of Cousin TOMS
1t says mo cards." What does that
mean? Uncle George-It doesn't mean
anything. Harry That is to say, 1t is
only blind 1t Is n promise that Tom
will give up cards; but. bless you, he
won't be month married before he'll
be back to the poker table again.-Bos-
ton Transcript
Johnny-Pa. doesn't a man sometimes
speak so rapidly that the stenographeI
can't follow him. and say so many
wonderful things that they are lost in
admiration of his eloQuence? Pa-Yes
l have heard that something of the
kind does happen now and then; but
why do you ask, Johnny? JOHNNY
notice that when you make a speech
the papers always say, "Mr. Breeze
also spoke. Boston Transcript.
The Real Trouble: Mrs. de Styl,
docking from her paperl-The idea!
told that reporter not TO mention my
name in connection with the Glugore',
reception. and yet he's done It, IL
just go down to that newspaper offic,
tomorrow and see about this. Mr.. d,
Style-Ohl wouldn't pay any atten
ton TO it. my dear. Mrs. de Style
wouldn't. but they've got my nam,
J spelled wrong.-Philadelphia Press.
What Hurt Worst; Il don't mlnC
beln accused of kldnapin', y'r honor,