The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-07-21
HUMOR IN
 BUSINESS NOTICES
THE FINEST sPECIMENssDEvoID
 OF INTENTIONS.
Some Shining Examples in London and Paris-The Wrestle of the Foreigner With the Eng
 fish Tongue.

|
 There was, not far from the Strand | until quite recently, a notice at 9 | booksellers which read, Books bound
 anyhow" Possibly he meant fin ever, | style" but the way he put 1t could | hardly be taken as a recommendation
 Near the Marble Arch again, a maker | of picture-frame put up in large | paper letters that the shop was ''Noto' rfous for our .picture-frames;" and ir | High Street, Clifton, there was, at one | time. a lady who put up outside hel door an announcemeek to the effect | that she was a milliner and modest.
 In Paris there Is a restaurant which l announces for the benefit of visitors ol | the Anglo-Saxon persuasion, tha' American drunks are to be had here. | A similar eccentricity was perpetrateo | by an employer of the sandwich-poaro method of advertising. He sent men out with boards upon which appeared the inscription, 'Fine Medoc of the 's4
 vintage 2frs. 70. The same, very cid,
 8 frs. CO.," Which is almost as good as the notice of the wine merchant who advertised win ordlnaire at 75 cen- | times the litre, and win tres ordinaire | at 50 centimes the litre. After that | who will say that truth is dead on the | other side of the Channel?
 l Attempts by foreigners to announce | their wares in English affords some | curious examples of how not to do 1t. | In fact, it is sometimes difficult to | guess what the advertisers are driving at, For instance, the following. which | was posted up at laundry in Shanghai | with reference to notify you for the employed in the various laundrles o1 | Shanghai. But any washermeh ID quite inability of disadvantage or washing any public, and tho the hisn price ruling now for rent charcoa'' coal. soap, rice, etc., is never counter feit. The committee of the Laundries' Guild are now to notify the general public which must will be increase. It any gentleman or lady will unbeiief' inward a few lines will can see the daily news is written quietly, distinct ly. and obliged, many thanks. IS hard to make out precisely what this means. but 1t appears to De an appear to the public not to take onence at the increased charges made for wash ing owing to the increase in price TOT the necessities thereon.
 Again. what is the precise meaning of the following, which is displayed over the shop of Yong Foo, merchant in Canton? "All kind godos many mer- rhandise in steamer not seldom any where and safe." It undoubtedly has meaning, and probably that meaning is that Wong Foo, merchant, under takes the delivery of merchandise or all kinds to various parts, and undertakes to deliver the same safely. More com prehensible is An Chan's sign in Can ton. He Is a dealer in pastry and such like articles, and his notice reads: Always has any France pastry din- ner supper lunch. All kinds or tor- eigners cakes for sale.'
 Japan can do fairly well when she ventures into mercantile English. In the art exhibition at Tokio was The following inscription: "Visitors are re- uuested at the entrance to show tickets for inspection. Tickets are charged ID sens and 2 sens for special and the common respectively. No visitor who is mad or intoxicate is allowed to enter in, If any person found in shall be claimed to retire. No visitor Is allow ed to carry In with himself any parcel umbrella stick, and the like kind, ex- cept his purse, and his strictly for bidden to take within himself dog or the same kind of beasts. Visitor is requested to take good care of him. self from thievely." This, however, though quaint and far from English, is perfectly intelligible, which Chinese hash of our tongue is not.
 Among some of the shop notices to be seen in Yokohama are the follow ing: Over that of a dealer in boots there Is written, The all countries boot and shoe small or fine ware," which Is quite plain, as Is also the notice. If you want sell watch will buy. if you want buy watch 1 will sell, which Is on a jewellers, and for terseness and in- telligibility can rank with most of our shop notices at home. "Old Curios" is another brief notice, intelligible if not correct; hut the same cannot truth fully be said of the signboard outside a restaurant in Tok.o which read, Let food be eventuater" Another dealer close by edvertises eggs as extract of fowls" while "Cut Hair Shop" and Horses Shoe Maker Instruct by French Horse Leach" is distinctly, quaint. "Hatter Native Country" is not very plain, though possibly 1t sug- gests that the gentleman owning the shop supplies native hats, or it may mean that he is prepared to sell hats, which are the customary wear in other countries. But what is the meaning of Automatic of Nausea Marina?" The complaint Is bad enough without making it automatic. one might think but perhaps the notice means to i'm ply a remedy for seasickness.
 To go back to China, there was to be seen at the edge of pond outside Canton within the last few years the notice, in Chinase, Girls must not be drowned here. By order" But places nearer home can do just as we'll as the Chinese or Japanese, in the matter of hashing up our mother tongue. For instance, in a Norwegian resort the proprietor of hotel puffs his accon- modation in the following terms: Bath! First-class bath. Can ary- one get. Tushbath (?Turkish bsth) warm and cold. Tub-bath and show er-bath. At any time. Except Satur- day. By two hours forbore." Also at Jotunheim the proprietor announces, The hotel for tourists is laying by the foot of the eminent Skagastolstin- der the largest field in Jounheim for top-meunters. The best leaders are to be had. It is the best place for coun- try layers" All this is intelligible enough save the last item. Country layers" are not species of fowle-they are people who come to stay or abide in the country.
 Of course. Americans can do things in the way of trade notices which are far ahead of this country. The fol- lowing press notice referring to Adelina Patti is an example of what can be done in this line in the States: Madame Patti Nicolini," so ran the notice, "the eminent vocalist and fare wellst, will come to us for positively the last time next year. All those who