The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-12-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A big, good natured farmer was await
ing the suburban train, accompanied by a
handsome Gordon setter. Two sons of
Britain stood near him. The dog strayed
away from his owner, who was reading a
newspaper.
.Heyr called the farmer ssCome here
Loeksmith," and the dog Immediately ran
One of the Englishmen approached the
May I ask he said. ..what you called
Goldsmith said the farmer.
And why, pray?''
Because every time I kick him he
makes a bolt for the door,
There was a general laugh, in which the
Englishman Joined
When he returned to his companion he
over there calls his dog
.Locksmith." replied the first Britain.
And why such a name?"
i'm he bolts for the door."-St. Louis Re
public.
While on these frosty days
The jays
Squawk loud their matin pow-wow
A BLANKET red is wound
The spry unsausaged bow-wow,
And while with souls adream
Upon the piping hot pie
The rabbits on the skip
The hunter of the pot-pie.
The general worthlessness Of advice is
man would rather give it than take it.
Now that Lord Kitchener has located
Gen. De Wet, the British public is pre-
pairing itself for the worst.-Atlanta Jour-
nal.
All told, it takes a thief and a reformer
to catch a thief--Life.
A
tor. who asked her what she was suffer
ing from Her answer was as follows:
m a telephone girl. doctor, and the
work is a terrible strain on my nerves.
The monotony of having a receiver con-
f ea Spon my and Sg of dGay
am always having Hello ringing in my
saying 'HeiloH And even When wi I kneel
say Hellol before 1 Commence them them
Sporting Times
Apparently the greatest safety device
price-Atlanta Journal
AS the count now stands Tolstoi is
about two deaths ahead of Gen. Botha
There appears to be quite an epidemic
cial officers of fraternal orders. Are the
gentlemen losing their grip?-Washingto
Nine. Sarah Grand declares that, men
true. They have more to make them
happy They have the women.-Kansas
City Journal. kFztFk
IF some folks were hundredth part as
ginerous wifi ready money as dey is t., VII vi
be mo bony fide Thanksgiving -"-Wash-
We. find the following, headlines in
RPn0rfS nj
Grossly Exaggerated" Buffalo Jones
must understand that Mark Twain said
reverberating through the corridors of
time as a observation-disclosures Record
why have you ceased attending ser
asked Mr. Erasmus Snowflake the emf
nent .whitewash impressionist.
wy. hit deS dis way he responded,
de pahson, he too longwinded, en- de
ohgan. hit too sho twinded. baltimore
'.In six nonths."' cried the socialist ag-
amounted to more than fifty million dol
lars; This great sum rightfully belongs
And yet, observed the lightning calcu-
to only one and five-thirteenths cents per
week-"-Brooklyn Life.
The late President Snow left wives to
the number of thirteen He was not SUI
perstitious ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Post
The Indiana Telephone company has
ranged to bear the expense of having its
operators take lessons in elOcution. A
''Horatius- Bridge tone coming
That that he ee viii f forget to
What makes your father look so blue
tonight?
''S-s-shI Somebody thoughtlessly men
toned the fact that Christmas is COM
ing.'-Chicago Post.
Fortunately the farmers do not have as
much trouble getting money out of turkey
as the great powers of the world do
Kansas City Journal.
King Edwards oculist has been made a