The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1901-07-12
4 ltcnl Funny story.

Old Tim Linkins the barber ofWahash Ave-
nue., Chicago is a great student OF provorhial
philosophy. and bo sometimes entcrtains his
customers. in the interval of "scrapo" or
" haircut, 10y his apt applications OF the we'll
known proverbs OF the past to the conditions
or requirements of the present. His regular
customers know his strong point, and many
man who apparently goes I'm for shave, IL
really in search OF a rest In a cosy chair, and
has desire 90 hear Tim hold forth pro-
verbally. one day last week stranger came
in for shave, aud M he stretched himself
wearily in the chair, Tim prepared 90 lathor
him. The man incidently remarked that he
had intended coming I'm earlier In the day but
had been prevented. "Wcll, it's better late
than never. said Tim, smiingly. Not al
ways, replied the stranger. slowly. "lIow
about losing your pocketbook | never lost
one until yesterday Sy-never did. but would
sooner have kept 10. Now, why was it better
for me To- lose Il late than not at all2" Tim
acknowledged that ho was wrong and the man
continued Don't know what ! would have
done in my prcdicament, only an old acquain-
tancc OF mine on the Lake front let me have
twenty Co go on with "Ah.' Clipped In
Tim, that was good A friend in need is n
friend indeed mo, he isn't" snapped the
man who was being shaved. There You re
dead wrong again. How can friend IN need
bo friend indecdY have n good many friends
who are always In need and thew are nuisance
60 me. Always on the borrow Tim thought the
problem over IN his mind and reluctantly ad-
mittcd that the man wns right lie had al
most made up his mind not 10 speak again
when the stranger continued. Yes sir. they
are nuisances Why, one of them fellows has
been calling on me for the past year and
threatens 90 get even with nae some way II |
do not loan him fifty dollars. He threatens
me at every visit. "Oh, | wouldn't mind
that, replied Tim unconscionsly, "you know
the old adago A barking dog never bitos. 4"
There YOU are again, said the "shnyes ~ as
he wiped little lather from the corner OF
his mouth. Say, what do You know about
dogs, anyway, that you talk In such silly
strain Have you ever yonturcd 10 go too
close 10 barking dog and II You did what
did he do 90 you Did you ever know "a bark.
ing dog that didn't bite If lac got the chance2
Tim said he couldn't exactly call 10 mind an,
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled the
claim IN the proyerb and there was n silence
for "A few minutes while his razor was gliding
over the mans face. Then the barber smiled
20 himself ~ he bethougbt him Of n good Joke
II suppose he said, as he applied the bay
rum, 81 suppose you don't believe In the bar
bers proverb at all2" What's that 2" naked
the stranger, rising. 1.-TWO heads are better
than one. answered Tim. "Of course you
can understand why they are, In my business,
but | know YOU would like 90 say they would
be bad for a man with the headache or"
Nothing Of the kind, put in the other, smil-
ing. zone Of your proverbs AT lenst is right.
] hapJ on 90 know that two heads are better
than one" Then you don't object to that
old ndago p Not at all. II IL dead right.
Aud would thank you very much II you have
any stray Lion heads at hand-thoso taken
from the Lion Coffee wrappers. My wife IN
collecting them and she ~ about six shy Of
the number required 90 Ct Ladys Gold
Watch. You see in this cas- two heads are
better than one, and twenty are better than
ten. Just 90 added Tim, cheorfully, "but
you see, my wife is doing the same thing, and
expects premium in few weeks. So 81 her
also, two heads are better than one. well
In that case said the stranger, as he paid
Tim for the shave and prepared 90 depart,
you had better tell your wife 20 DO ths sans
~ IN ne II doing. Save up tho Lion heads
until after September Let neIt, when the now
Premium List h issued. Then II she sends
them 20 the Woolsou Spice Co. Toledo, Ohio,
she can have her pick Of some very choice
resents.'