davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Seeking for Pearls.

The history Of pearl seeking has
about it SO much Of the glamour of ro-
nance and possible gain that the diff
culties and risks Of the quest are we'll
nigh forgotten. Men love a pursuit
that entails much danger and much
knowledge of men and elements. Long
before the Roman conquest men were
hazarding the dangers of newly-discov-
cred rivers in search of the elusive
gems, and one of the prime reasons for
undertaking the expedition into Great
Britain was to obtain the fair "con-
gealed dewdrops pierced by sunbeams"
which poets and philosophers In all
ages have made the emblems of purity
and worth and which the Roman wom-
en- SO much coveted. There Is scarcely
a sacred literature In existence in
which pearls do not bear reverent
meaning, and no nation where place
and favor have not been bought by the
beautiful, lustrous products of the sea.
-Lppincotts Magazine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

properly. Tell me frankly, what's
wrong with me, do you thinkp'
Frankly then, you are too self-re-
strained. You won't let yourself be car
ried away with your part"
"Why, you said the other day that it
was good thing not to be carried
away with ones partp'
"Oh, you're not going to remember
what l said more than a week ago,
surely! Besides, merely used that ar
gument to induce you to accept the
part. The end justifies the MEANS"
I'm annoyed with you, all the same.
You might have saved me a weeks
misery. I've been so afraid of letting
the part run away with me that SIM
ply wouldn't let myself go. I didn't
want to be inartistic.''
"Please forgive me-" said More, hum
bly,. "I'm horribly penitent. l had no
idea-'
"But now I'm simply dying to try
that scene againp' interrupted Madge,
excitedly. Come, let's begin at the
very beginning, SO that we can get
worked up to the climaxr'
Bravo, More! Bravo, Madge! l had
no idea you could act like that" And
Tom Raymond regarded his friend and
sister with an air of profound admira-
ton.
IL didn't know anybody was list
ening," said Madge, looking trife
| flushed.
"Oh, only came in a minute ago.
"Pm glad you liked it." remarked
More.
Liked ity cried Tom. 'My dear boy,
it was superb"
lawfully good of you to say so," said
More, with elaborate politeness.
.Not at all. assure you, l mean ey-
cry word" retorted Tom, calmly
"Why, If hadn't known you were act
Ing, that stage kiss of yours would
have deceived me completely
"By the way, More" added Tom
turning suddenly upon his friend, '.the
girls name is sibyl, isn't it?'
Eyes, of course"
1
Him. You got bit mixed at times
that's all. So did Madge. Well, so long
dare say that scene wants all the re
hearsing you can give it?' With which
parting shot Master Tom took a hur
ried leave.
Then Madge said. "How absurd OF
Tomy'
"It wasn't SO very absurdw More re
torted. "Why, 1 noticed it, too."
Noticed what?'
"That you said Robert once or twice
Instead Of Jack"
you know very well you made ths
same mistake" she added hotly. "Yor
called the girl .Madge' every timer
1T wasn't mistake on my part
said Robert. 81 meant it." It was :
full minute before he dared to look a
his companion. When he did so he dis
covered that she was laughing softly.
'I'm glad you meant 1t, Robert" sh,
said, because meant it. too."-Wom
ans Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
ON a ROMAN COIN.

Here Is an old denarius from Rome
Some Caesars head half buried In
green rust
That in this polished case hath found a
home.
Secure from any tarnish more, or dust.
1 call it "rust," this green and purple
stain
Upon the ancient silver coin-but, nay!
'Tis but the copper driven out, as pain
And sorrow purge from US the dross
away.
Pure, ah! how pure this precious disk, re-
fined
By ages testing!-purer than the hour
When first in the great Emperor's mint it
shined,
The glistening type of all his pomp and
power.
So we, all SCARED and stained by life's
long test
Are we not purer than the soul untried,
Whose coarse alloy doth still abuse its
best
A coin that shines, but is unpurifed?
James Buckham, in Philadelphia
Times.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
When surweons Are of No Use.

When Surgeons Are of No Use
The driver of the stage, which was
rolling down the Rocky Mountains as
fast as six mules on the gallop could
keep ahead of 1t, may have noticed that
l was, writes a correspondent, a little
nervous, for after bit he soothingly
said:
"No use to grip that railing so mighty
hard, stranger. We shan't come to the
danger pint for half an hour yit."
"Them it's ON ahead?" queried.
"Yes, three miles ahead, and may
say fur your benefit that hangln' on
won't do any partickler good. !"
"But don't want to slide of"
"And you won't. If anythin' goes
It'll be nevis and coach and the hull
caboodle altogether, and as the drop is
plump 300 feet you won't have no use
for arnica or sticking plaster after
ward."-Boston Courier.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
WHERE MONEY IS LOST.
Soi1ed Linen at the Laundry Often
Contains Large Sums.

Soiled Linen at the Laundry Often
Contains Large Sums.
at is astonishing how careless peo-
pie are about sending clothes to laun-
dry without first searching them for
money and jewelry," said the manager
of laundry the other day, according
to the New York Mail-Express. "Yes-
terday woman sent bundle of dress
es here, and in the pocket of one was
$3.50 in bills. We never search clothing
for valuables. The dresses were put in
the washing machine, soap and water
put in, and after the machine had been
running half an hour it was opened,
and the man in charge was astonished
to see paper money floating around on
the water. The bills had in some man
ner worked out Of the pocket of the
dress, and, strange to say, not one Of
them was torn. We ran the money
through the drying machine and then
ironed each bill carefully. After we
got through you could not have told
that the money had been in a laundry
washing machine for half an hour. We
sent for the woman. and when she
came to the laundry she had not yet
missed her money.
''Not long ago man sent some shirts
to our laundry from the bosom Of one
of which he forgot to remove diamond
stud worth $3.50. Our people did not
see the diamond, and we did not find
it until he called us up and made known
his loss. Then put my men to search
ing, and we found the diamond In the
| catch basin in the sewer
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

his traditions as stage manager to wax
very enthusiastic over anything"
but that terrible third act scene! 1
shall never rise to the occasion therew
"The great thing is to remember that
you've got to persuade skeptical audi
ence that you're in love with me-"
tits very difficult"
81 dare say
'But you've got to persuade them,
too, that you're in love with me, and
you do 1t much better than + However
do you manage itY'
Ill really don't know
For man who prided himself on his
self-possession, More looked a tribe
| awkward.
81 suppose those things come more
naturally to some people than to 9TH
ers," Madge remarked, innocently.
''Well, suppose we have another go at
that scene now," said More.
Every well. Do you remember our
positionsg'
Eyes. You're sitting on the garden
seat-there, that settee will do-and
I'm standing just behind you. Now, are
you ready? Jack says: I love you,
Sybil!"
""Oh, do you think we need go
| through all that again? You do it so
| well and there's nothing for me to do
except to cast down my eyes, SO can't
very well go wrong"
"Just as you like. Well go to the end
of Jacks little speech, then: Say you
hate me, sibyl. and put me out of mis-
cry"
is it such misery? Let me see
does the embrace come there?"
..Not yet. Jack replies: TO know
| that have made you wretched and
myself ridiculous!' And then Sibyl
says: TO know that you have made me
very proud and very happy That's
where you rise and come up to me,
taking both my hands. Jack says: My
darlingv And then we do the en-
brace. Go on"
"Wait minute. 1 can never get that
embrace properly" interrupted Madge.
'.Now tell me exactly, after I've taken
hold of your hands, what ought 1 to
do?''
"simply put your head on my shoul.
der"
(Which shoulder?''
"The left-the one nearest to you
That's always a safe rule. Now, then,
shall we try that again?'
"All right"
And Madge went through the cere.
mony of embracing her companion in q
business like fashion.
''There," she said, "that was better
wasn't it?"
Beautiful" replied More, gravely
But, forgive my saying SO, couldn',
you manage to put little more feeling
into those words: TO know that yot
have made me very proud and very
happyT You see, the audience doesn't
know that Sibyl loves Jack, and yor
have to make it as plain as possible tt
them"
"Oh, dear, it's SO hardp' sighed tn,
girl. II feel don't say those words
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

First Shirtwaist Girl-So you are go
ing rowing with Mr.. Floorwalker? His
trick is to threaten to rock the boat un-
less you give him kiss.
Second Shirtwaist Girl (naively)-
Well, mother said she wasn't afraid to
let me go with him, as all the girls say
he never rocks the boat.-Brooklyn Ea-
gle
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
no Re Perfectly Frank.

A gentleman who is no longer young,
and who never was handsome. asked
his sons child what he thought of him.
The boys parents were present. The
youngster made no reply.
"Well, so you won't tell me what you
think of me? Why won't your"
Cause I don't want to get licked"
replied the, sprig of rising genera.
tiOn.-Tit-Bits.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Medical A.sistanc.

Specialist-Your nerves are affected;
you need exercise; walk to business
every day.
Sick Mani do walk to business every
day.
Specialist-You do? Well. you ought
to have more sense-that's what ails
you-overstrain. Now, behave yourself
nationally and ride every day|$1O,
please.-Chicago Record-Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
A Constant Reminder.

Dunlap see you call your naphtha
launch after your wife.
Bertwhistle working over launch en-
gine, perspiring)-Yes; because when
ever 1 want to go anywhere with it, it
takes SO long before it gets ready to
start-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
To Be Consistent.

Won Blumer-The doctor thinks 1
ought to go ON a fishing trip.
Mrs. Won Blumer-But, of course, you
don't believe him.
Won Blumer-Why not?
Mrs. Won Blumer-Well, you didn't
have any confidence in him when he
told me ought to go.-Harper's Bazaar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

"What was that?" asked the old gem
tleman. suddenly appearing in the door
way.
IL guess it was kissing bug" she
answered hesitatfngly, while the young
man tried his best to look at ease.
The old gentleman looked at them
both sharply.
"Does the kissing bug make people
blush?" he Chicago Post.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Knew Hia Pa.

'Now, Tommy" said the teacher, ''it
your father had ten one-dollar bills and
your mother asked for half of them,
how many would he have leftF"
He'd still have the ten," replied the
wise child.-Philadelph Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Too Slow.

Almost the last reminder of the ro-
mantle past, the prairie stagecoach, is
doomed. Automobiles are to be built
for prairie travel, the coaches being too
slow for modern travel.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Education.

"These Indians who have been edu-
Gated at college seem quite like the
others, do they not?"
Except for their 'Rah! rah! at each
end of the war-whoop, yes"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
His PIeasure Marred.

Friend (calling)-Did you have good
time the week you spent at the sea-
shore, Willie?
Willie Boerum (gloomily)-W-Well,
pretty good. Only mother wouldn't let
me go swimming until two hours after
ate anything, so l couldn't very well
eat things between meals.-Brooklyn
Eagle
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Room, for Doubt.

Experienced Servant = Gentleman
wants to see you, sir.
Mr.. Richman-Who is he?
Experienced Servant couldn't find
out, sir; but, judgin' by his clothes, he's
either a beggar or a millionaire, SIR
New York Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

Dear Doctor: When began using
your hair medicine three months ago
you assured me that my hair would not
trouble me much longer. take pleas
ure is stating that you spoke the truth.
Gould you give me the address of a
good wig er?"-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Dead silence.

Nothing from my poor husband?"
said the widow to the medium.
"No, ma'am," was the reply; mot
even message stating that the fire is
out!'-Atlanta Constitution.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

She-You were a long time in the
Philippines, weren't you?
He-Oh, yes. Ever since the first time
the war ended.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

WAS It Pandora did ~

"What was it Pandora did?'
"She opened box and let flies out in
the house before Epimetheus got the fly
screens in."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
May Sometimes Do.

Sillicus never lie.
Cynicus-Nonsense! Did you ever
see girl in tailor-made gown and
then size her up in bathing suit?-
Philadelphia Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
He (absently)-Yes, usually.
Some Things Arc 1houeht Over.

you're a likely looking GIRL" said
Mrs. Hiram Often, who was questioning
a greenhorn girl. How were you
trained across the water?"
''Tis jokin' ye are, mum. There does
be no trains. was shipped across. y
Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
A Hot Retort,

Deacon Scrouge-No, parson, l don't
rightly think we ought to give you a
vacation. You know, the devil never
takes one.
Parson Snappeigh-He would, Dea-
con, if you didn't keep him SO busy
Baltimore American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Rlaafed Homes.
end of tn

Tommy Tuff-Sam, Nam, the boys
all say that if handle the stick in the
baseball game this afternoon we'll beat
the Hilltops IA to /.
His Mother-I don't doubt it, but you
are going to stay at home this after
noon and handle the stick for me, and
we'll beat the carpet worse than that.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
No Doubt About It.

Citizen-Do you believe the constitu-
ton follows the flag, my man?
Soldier-My constitution followed the
flag to the Philippines and it's there
yet.-Chelsea Gazette.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Sneech.
diferentiates

'sBut speech is what differentiates
man from the beastP'
'.Yes, showing how much less sense
he has, in the long runv'~
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Too Bad.

'Do you know, Miss Frisbie," said
the large-headed young author, "my
most brilliant thoughts come to me in
my sleepY'
Its great pity that you are trou-
bled with insomnia" added the pert
young lady.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Old Gent-My bow. Pm seven

Old Gent-My boy, I'm seyenty-ive
years Of age, and have never smoked
cigar in my life.
Boy-Well, If yer likes ter foller me
you can ave this butt when Pm done
with it."-Ally Sloper.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

Clubberly-Haye you ever been so
desperately in love that you felt as if
you couldn't control 1t?
Castleton-No. ALI the girls I've been
in love with have been only moderately
well off.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

"And you will not smile upon me?"
faltered the Man.
..No," answered Fortune sadly. sFor
If do shall get myself disliked by
the women who have refused to marry
your
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
How About 1t?

'.It's funny that you should be so tall.
Your brother. the artist, is short, isn't
he?
Ha (ahsant1vl-Vas 1sra1lv
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

Why an employment bureau is called
an intelligence Office is an unsolyed
mystery.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
Against Viyisection

Mr.. Woodwed-Your papa is such a
Joker.
Miss WiIlin-Why?
Mr.. Woodwed- Because, when 1 ask
ed for your hand he refused me, saying
he didn't want any mutilated members
In his family-Boston Post.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
A, B, C AND OTHERS.
A LOOK INTO THE ORIGIN OF
OUR ALPHABET.

Our Letters Are Mainly the Same as
Those Used by the Romans-Earlier
Derived from Greek and Phenician-
short Study of Interesting Subject.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
1t Did.

Grogan-I made up my mind 1
wouldn't stand it any longer; so l just
put my foot down.
Timility (glancing at Grogan's No. IL
And that, of course, covered the
ground.-Boston Transcript.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

'say, why don't you wear yer hair
in a psyche knot? Yer too old fer
plats.''
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Odd, Curious and LaughabIs Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por-
trayed by Eminent Word Artists of
Our Own Day-A Budget of Fun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

If ones hands become stained with
developer, pour few drops Of muriatic
acid in minim measure, and fill up
with water. Dip your fingers in this
and then wash them with hot water
and soap, and the stains will disappear.
The juice of ripe tomato well rubbed
in to the hands will also remove the
stains.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

II you are troubled with your mega
tives frilling. give up using your alum
bath which at best is rather trouble
some, and try rubbing a little vaseline
on the outer edges Of the plate, and
your troubles will cease. Do not put
too much on, however, or it will become
mixed up with the developer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

Do not use old hypo. New is cheap
enough and when fixing bath is used
too long, it becomes highly charged
with a deposit of nitrate Of silver. and
is very apt to stain the film.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-13

wherein he thinks 1t could be made
still better. Discussion along this road
Is worth great deal.
Evening star., 1901-02-11

miles an hour before NJ street was reached.
Witness saw Mr.. Grimes waiting to take
the car, as he usually does. Witness said
he did not hear the ringing of the fire bell.
He was standing in the middle of the car
looking ahead, but he saw no obstruction.
Wagons standing on NJ street obstructed
his view west on NJ street Witness hap
Off the current and he could not see the
truck until 1t was part the way over Con-
necticut avenue. The horses were headed
toward the northeast and then they seemed
to be Strengthened out before the accident
happened.
John Larman, the motorman, who had
been in custody since the accident hap
pened, testified that his car was on time
Thursday morning. He said there Is no
there is for being ahead of time. When
Mr.. Grimes signaled him he thought 1t was
merely for him to stop at the crossing in
order to let him get on. He had no Idea
that 1t was meant for a danger signal. Wit
ness said that his hearing is good, but he
did not hear the fire bells. He shut OFF his
current at about the south end of Mr.. Ma
gruder's store, and the car was then going
at about four or five miles an hour. When
he saw the danger he reversed his current
and tried to send his car back, but did not
succeed. The driver of the truck, he said,
pulled up and then made a turn to go
around the car. He said his car was at a
standstill when the truck struck it. After
the car left De Sales street he thought 1t
went at the rate of about eight miles an
hour. Witness said he had been in the SER
vice of the Metropolitan Railway Company
for twenty-five years, being first employed
as a driver of horse car. Until the oc-
currence Thursday morning, he said, he had
never had an accident
Evening star., 1901-02-11
CITY AND DISTRICT.
Chaplain MiIIer's Address.

An address of much interest was made
yesterday afternoon at the usual service at
the Church of the Covenant by Chaplain
Miller of the 9Th L. s. Cavalry. For the
past three years Rev. Dr. Miller has been
a chaplain in the army, and has spent most
of the time in the Philippines His re-
marks We're confined to the conditions pre-
vailing in those islands. as the natives got
their notions mainly of the American nation
from the army.
The speaker dwelt upon the Importance
of having the soldiers under Christian in
fiuences. He said the missionarys success
depends on the character and labors of the
Christian workers with the army, and these
representatives. he urged. ought to be the
very best. The need is for men of tolera-
tiOn. men of power, men who know the
truth and can teach others the truth, and
men who are ready to make any sacrifice.
AS soon as the church begins to bless these
men they will be blessed at home We
should obey the order: Go ye into all the
world and preach
Chaplain Miller denied brutality on the
part Of the soldier. In his three years in
the army, he said, he had seen more ex-
hibttions of sacrifice, more manifestations
of tenderness and sympathy than in his
twenty-five years Of ministry in every
part Of the land
Evening star., 1901-02-11
Anniversary Exerctses.

The twenty-third anniversary of the Bap-
tist Sunday School Union Of the District
of Columbia was celebrated at the Shi-
loh Baptist Church yesterday at o'clock
pm. Miss E. r. Russell vice president
presided, and Mr.. ]. E. Ennis served as
secretary. The program included an open
ing hymn by the union. Scripture reading
by Rev. ]. Henderson Taylor DID,, pas
tor; prayer by Rev. Charles N. Pryor;
song by the Shiloh school; welcoming ad-
dress by Rev. J. A. Taylor, DID,; solo by
Miss Nellie V. Holm: address by Rev. VIM.
]. Howard; address by Rev. VIM. J. Walk
er, former pastor; song by the union, a
paper by Mr.. Arthur Gilmore song by the
Vermont Avenue Church Sunday school,
essay by Miss Ethel Hill, song by the
Metropolitan Sunday school, paper by Mrs.
Emma Fisher, song by the Shiloh school,
addresses by Messrs. Abraham w. Hayes,
John II. Mcdowell, Enoch Harris, G. w.
Bannion and James H. Smiler.