davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16
Doing His Best.

Tn the early morning l went to the postolfice in 2a Alabama town to in- c1.ire for mail, but found was half an hour too carly. l was walking away when the colored janitor who was sweeping out called to me and asked;
 Was yo' procrastinatin' around yere arter yo'r mail, sah!'
 "Yes, but I see I'm too early
 "Yes. sah, tee airly. An WAS yo' a stranger in dis toWn!9
 "Yes."
 '.An' hain't yo' no one to talk to:'
 No
 Den, sah. if yo' don't keer to elimi- nate about de street fur half an hour yo' can stop right ycre, an I'll do my best to considerate de reciprocity of de situashun an make yo feel to home,'
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16

All this. taken With the activity of immigration and real estate agents many new settlers, numbers buylng Special 50 days homeseekers tickets, and others seeking information, lndl, cates that Tho Denver Road IS con- sidered good company in a desirable
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16
Whither other lines have come to share in the results Of the good times in that section ............
Proserity Demands Railroads.

The Chicago, Beck Island & Mexico Already crossing The Denver Road" at Dalhart. The Chcctaw, Oklahoma c Gulf- Soon to join the "Denver Road at Wichita Falls and Amarillo. The Blackwell, Enid & Southwestern Now building to The Denver Road at Vernon.
 The Kansas City, Mexico & Orient Exepected to join "Ihe Denver Road" at Chiicothe. The Frisco Systen1-Which may meet "The Denver Road at Acme. The Arkansas & ChoetaW-Headed for "rhe Denver Road at Wichita Falls
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16
A Civil Word.

A French king once said: "If civil word or two will make man happy, he must be a churl indeed who would not give them to him." If this feeling were acted on, how much happier the world would be, We may say of this kindly temper that it is like lighting another mans candle by ones own, which loses noae of it's light by what the other gains.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16
Slow Payer.

Magistrate (.o the CE;naman)-What's $ your complaint against tAis yoUas mal, John?
 ChA?aman-L7e's too -.uc.oe hy ac5 by.-Ealtil1ore JeH.s.. Get4me1t.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16
THE BQRLNGToHS NEW FAST
 DENVER TRAIN.

DENVER TRAIN.
 r# s<eHaskaGalorado Express" now leaves sfl. Louis 2:l5 D. aE. ar= ftye5 JoWef $:l5 next day-thfee hours quicker
 Travellers arriving in St. Louis in the lae.2.ng have half day for bu5i ness or visiting the Worlds Fair city; ;;t 3:I55 t4e Eext day they are in Den VT, WEa the afternoon in that city, bei6fe leaving for the coast via scenic Colorado No other through train to Denver offers such remarkably con vcnient schedule.
 Personally conducted California ex- cursions from St Louis every We'd nesday night in through tourist sleep CTS via scenic Colorado.
 TO THE NORTHWEST.
 "The Burlington Northern Pacific Express" is the great daily through train St Louis and Kansas City to Montana, Washington, Tacoma, Seat tie, Portland
 TO THE WEST.
 Tine Darlington runs the best eqlji'- ped tlalas to Kansas City, St Joseph, Omaha, St. Palll, Minneapolis, Denver Write LIS of your proposed trip ana let ua advise you the least cost send yod printed matter, free, etc F. NJ RIGe l.. NJ WAKEIIaY ] T. |. A., eil Pine st Gcnl Pas Agt.. IT. LtUlS, MO ST. LOUIS. Mo I.asAhD IILIUTT Gentf4l Maj ager T LGtIS. Mo.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1901-12-16

e.o local coupon ticket agent has
 krin.i' pplleo with illustrated and de- |es ., "eerature showing the beau (olo,., sue scenery and resorts of |heso o S and the Rocky mountains. hd .n, oooks are free for the asking, 5 ,,, ne Denver Road" will be glad bnaa. aooeo assistance by core n.ns n your choice of a place
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27

as fourth and last experiment. He appeared at dinner in doubtful state of mind, but an agreeable surprise awaited him. 1t was an old fashioned New Hampshire boiled dinner, with Vermont cider on the side, and it was served up in the old fashioned way of allowing everybody to help himself. There was pumpkin pie as they make 1t in Salem, and there were fried cakes looking just like the first dozen turned out in Rhode Island.
 My son, you see how it is," said the Iandlady after dinner, ''and if you don't proceed to make yourself at home | shall feel grieved. If you are lonesome for the cat, go and bring her over here. allow my boarders to keep cats, dogs, parrots, monkeys, donkeys, canaries, magpies and any other pets, and they are fed free of expense"
 I MT. Bowser felt a bit conscience stricken about the cat and decided ito go around to the house for few minutes. As he reached the gate he found the feline sitting on the top step. It was bright moonlight, and he could see that one of her ears had been chewed and one of her eyes bunged up. That proud arch of her back was gone, and it was easy to see that she felt all alone in the world and hadn't cent to pay for her nights lodging.
 "Puss, puss, pussy' called MT. Bow ser in voice in which there was sym pathy, but the cat fixed her one eye ton tho moon over his head and stared at 1t and treated his presence with
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
TT WAS EXPENSIVE.
Hfs Talk About the Weather Cost
 Him Ten Dollar Note.

His Talk About the Weather Cost
 Him Ten Dollar Note.
 They were sitting side by side in the street car, and one of them observed that it was beastly weather. The other paid no attention to the observation for i've minutes and then carelessly said:
 ''I think you expected me to reply to your remark on the weatherY
 "Well, perhaps. At any rate, if you have got ready to answer a civil Ques- ton go ahead"
 : "I want nothing to say about the weather" continued the other. "A year ago in car began talking about the weather with stranger, and he hand ed me his card and asked me to call at his off1ce."
 "And you calledT
 "I did. He was lawyer. I had ask ed him if he thought it was going to snow, and he had written out legal opinion and charged me $1O for it." "But, sir, am no lawyer" "No, of course not, but you may be a doctor. You want to start in about the weather and lead up to grip, catarrh, rheumatism and all that and get off a bit of advice and send in a bill. The weather, sir, Is damnable, and so are you, and so am I, and that's all there Is to 1t, and now let's shut up."
 M. QUAD.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
WILLIAMS LAST FIGHT.
His Attempt to Make a Name FoR
 Himself Resulted Fatally.

| His Attempt to Make a Name For l Himself Resulted Fatally.
 "What ails William" said the Geor- 1 gia Cracker father as he motioned his I thumb toward a cadaverous looking young man of 20 sitting on a stump in the dooryard and nodding with sleep-"what ails William is too much peartness. I'll allow that up to year | ago William was smart and hefty for his age, and he had got so he could lay his old pop on the grass, but I'll also contend that he orter had mo- sense in his head. He got that sassy and peart that he was bristlin up to every thing and everybody, and he finally got it in his mind that he could lick a whole circus to once. We was in Att lanta and thar was a circus showin when William turns to me and says:
 "'Pop, I'm goin to make a name fur myself today or break both legs.'
 "'As howT says I. F
 "'As to jumpin on my old hat and then Hckin the circus. I kin do it, pop, though thars two acres of lem, in- cludin the sacred bull from India
 William says I, don't do nuthin foolish. I'll allow you kin fight, but them circus folks is right on the shin dy. They'll hit you with crowbars and hand spikes, clubs or neck yokes, and they'll hit for keeps. Mebbe you might lick two men goin home, but for the Lawd's sake don't start in to upset the United States single handed.'
 That's the way talked to William," continued the father, land bimeby he sorter Quieted down, and took stroll around to look at the spotted hosses. l I was fee1in easy in my mind when l William yelled a yell and broke loose, and when got around to whar he was 97 circus men and 14 policemen was poundin at him. Lawd, but how they did give it to him! And, Lawd, but how he fit back! Yes, sah, 1t was 8 knocked down and hauled through a mudhole. William sailed in with fists and feet and teeth, but two acres was l too many fur him. They gradually | overpowered him and left him scat | tered around, and when I finally got i him home he was all twisted up as | you see him now. He ain't no good to | anybody any mo, and the doctor says he'll be underground befo' summer comes. He knows it as well as we do, and it jest makes my heart ache when he sort of rallies now and then and l throws up his hat and yells out:
 "sHurrah for Ginera1 Jackson and the Continental congress, and I've got | to clean out this circus or bust! e- NJ. QUAD.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27

''MY SON, LIKE YOUR LOOKS.
 be taken in there as a son, and if you find one single thing to kick about I'll eat my hat. Why, you couldn't feel more at home in your own mothers house"
 MT. Bowser was doubtful, but he set off to interview the landlady. He found her to be little old woman about 60 years old, with her face all smiles and wrinkles. The first glance into her countenance set him to think ing of his mother and fried cakes and pumpkin pies.
 My son." she said, "come and live with me. like your looks. You re mind me of my lost Albert. You shall have any room in the house, and there will be no charge whatever"
 "Oh, but I couldn't do that,'' he pro- tested. "I shall be glad to find things to my liking, but shall pay your price, of course" :.
 "Well. we'll talk about that some day. I am old and lonely, and all keep a boarding house for is that may have cheerful company around me. Just send your trunk over and take possession of the front room on the second floor. and I want you to go around whistling and singing and feel ing that you've come home to mamma If you want a boiled dinner, hasty pudding or hulled corn, just tell me so any time, and if there are socks to darn or buttons to sew on don't fear to make me trouble. Dear me, but you are the very picture of Albert. That is, Albert iw0l1ld have looked inst like v0g1 if ho had lived 30 years longer"
 MT. Bowser didn't exactly like the room. It had colonial look. The wall paper was off in spots, there was 8 piece of the ceiling ready to fall on the bed, and the furniture had evident Ily participated in the battle of Lex itngton. He also thought the landlady was too good, but he decided to try it
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Just What He Wanted.

A thoughtful looking customer gazed gloomily at the dinner before him evil dently trying to work out stiff prob lem in mental arithmetic. Presently a gladsome light illumined his eyes.
 "Waiterr' he cried, lis there chem ist's shop near hereP'
 "Yes, sir," said the waiter, 'Just across the street"
 Do they sell mustard plasters"
 "Yes, sir strong ones too. They touch the spot and make it tender" !" And he smiled at his little bit of wit.
 That's just the sort I want" said the delighted customer. "Please send for half a dozen and put them on this beefsteak. k."-Answer.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27

and all sat down and left him to go forth into the darkness of a cold world and kick the first dog he came to. It was his last experience, but when Mrs. Bowser returned after her months trip and asked him how he had enjoyed his boarding house he looked her square in the eyes and replied: -s
 Bang up. If I had my way about 1t, we'd break up tomorrow and go board ing" M. QUAD
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
contempt. He had gone back on her,

contempt. He had gone back on her, and she had dignity to maintain.
 ''Then you just go to thunder, you old tramp cat, youv' he exclaimed as he shook his fist at her and turned l away. For breakfast at his New England home he had Connecticut hash, Mas sachusetts coffee and two colonial boil ed eggs probably laid in Vermont some few days after Putnam entered the wolfs den. He felt like kicking, but an old gray headed patriot who sat next to him said that such 8 breakfast in the time of the pilgrim fathers would have been declared fit for a governor. The landlady, too, observed the frown on his face, and as he rose from the table she followed him to the door and solicitously said:
 ''Son, you are yellow under the eyes, and that's sure sign of biliousness. shall have to get some herbs for your liver. Come home to mamma this aft ernoon if you feel low spirited" MT. Bowser was on hand when the 6 o'clock dinner bell rang. He had been too busy to take luncheon and was therefore hungry. There was look of consternation on his face as he glanced over the table. It was the same New England boiled dinner, topped off with the same New England pumpkin pie and sweet cider.
 'Is this last night or tonight?' he asked of the landlady as she beamed across the table at him.
 "Its tonight, son." she replied, land I am glad to see you looking better. l really thought might have to soak your feet and give you a smartweed sweat Just pitch right in and eat all you can."
 The breakfast was exactly the same as the morning before, and again MT. Bowser would have kicked except for the old patriot He had started to make slurring remark about the eggs in particular, when the O. P. rubbed his hands and chuckled:
 'tAh, but it does me good to be set back to the days of Yorktown again! Washington had such a breakfast as this before going out to receive the surrender of Cornwallis."
 When it was made a matter of coun- try and patriotism, MT. Bowser couldn't kick, but he wasn't letting go of any thing just the same. If the third din- ner had anything New England about it, the landlady would hear something drop. The day waned, the wild goose flew over with "honk, honk," and MT. Bowser reached his boarding house with vacuum to be filled. He sniffed oyster soup, porterhouse steak, ginger bread and baked potatoes, or thought he did; but, alas, when he sat down to the table it was the New England boil ed dinner over again!
 'Is this going to be a steady thing" be asked of the landlady.
 '"This boiled dinner, my son, Is No. 17S0 without a break" she answered.
 "Then you'll excuse me if vacateY
 "But surely, my son, you are in the midst of home and friends. Would you like some cold biscuits and calfs foot jelly T'
 s9Fd like to settle my bill and get outp' he replied as he rose I'D.
 The landlady rose up with him. So did the dozen patriots and patriotesses around the table.
 My son, must you goT' asked the mother" with trembling voice.
 ''You bet mustv' replied MT. Bow ser. |.g.
 ''Then he is a man who does not love his country" said everybody in chorus,
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
TROUBLE IN THE OFFICE.

It Was Caused by the Editors Co., nundrum. 'Why is a woman like an umbrella ?'' asked the exchange editor.
 Because she's made of ribs and at tached to stick" replied the informa- ton editor "Why is"- "Wrong. Guess again"
 Because she always has to be shut up when'- "Nawi You fatigue me-" Because she stands in the hall and"- "Naw! It's nothing about standing in the hall" "A woman is like an umbrella be- cause nobody ever gets the right one. Why is''
 "Ring off! That isn't the answer ei- ther."
 Its better one than you've got"
 Don't you reckon I know whether 1t i Is or not? Whose conundrum is this yours or miner?
 Well, she's like an umbrella be- cause It isn't because she fades with age, is it?"
 You ought to be ashamed Of your self" "I am. Is it because you have to put up when it's cloudy and threatening No; that can't be 1t. Because she's a good thing to have in the house. Why is"- You're not. within four counties of It."
 Because you can't find any pocket in either. Why is''-
 ''No choice. Vote again." ''I won't. A woman isn't like an um- brella. There Is not the slightest re- semblance. You go on with your work and let me alone"
 ''I knew you couldn't guess 1t. It's because she's accustomed to reign" Then the information editor rose in his wrath, and they were only pre- vented from doing mischief to each other by prompt-and wholly unex- pected-work on the part of the labor editor.-Chicago Tribune.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Then the Skies wept.

A gentleman was spending a days holiday in Bolton woods, a beautiful bit of Wharfedale in Yorkshire. No ticing an elderly couple at some dis tance evidently admiring the country, he drove near to them in the hope that he might overhear some delightful ex- pression worthy of Ruskin.
 Just as he got within sound of their voices the old lady, waving her hand toward the prettiest part of the land scape, turned to her companion and ex- claimed:
 "What a grand spot to dry clothesv' Answer.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Wanted to Be Sure.

An old woman of undeniable Celtic origin entered a provincial savings bank the other day and walked up to the desk.
 ''Do you want to withdraw or de posit?' asked the clerk.
 "Naw, Oi doant. Oi wants to put some in," was the reply.
 The clerk pushed up the book for her signature and, indicating the place, said "Sign on this line, please"
 Above 1t or below it 2"
 "Just above 1t" .-5
 ''Me whole name" ..zEE&;
 'Yes."
 Before Oi was married?" tn 'tNo, just as 1t is now"
 ''Oi can't wroite.'-London King.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27

Pungent Comment by Pun-gent. <
 "This," said the guide to the tour- ists who were going through the pyra- mids, "is the mummy of Pharaoh's mother, and this one in the corner is that of her mother"
 'Ah, yes," said the wit of the party, ''it is Pharaoh's grand-mummy."
 But the guide assumed pained ex- pression and began reading the hiero- glyphics. American.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Prepared to Go.

"Now, John," his wife said, gently pressing him back when he tried to get up, you must stay in bed today. Pve telephoned for the doctor, and he's coming right over."
 'tAll right" he submissively replied as she threw his trousers out of reach, you'll find my will and the insurance policies and so forth in that little tin box in the third drawer of my desk" V Chicago Times-Herald.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Most unzattsfactory

''It is pitiful to hear old Lusher talk when he is intoxicated" said the sym pathetic person.
 "Yes, indeed" agreed the individual who reads realistic stories. 'Yes, in deed. He does not speak with the cor rect dialect of intoxication at all."- Baltimore American.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
What Kills the Race

First Tramp-It's this working be- fore breakfast that's killing off the race.
 Second Tramp-Yes, but it isn't as bad as working after supper.
 Third Tramp-You're both right, but working between meals is the worst of au.-New York Herald.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
A Helpnate In Truth.

Marjorie The new rector's wife is so worldly don't think she can be Of much assistance to him.
 AIadge Why. my dear, she couldn't do more. Only for her they could new CT have planned the trip abroad next summer. She brought about no less than six Easter weddings in his con- gregation.-Leslie's Weekly.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Phy.icalIy, Not Financially.

Harold" began the homely Miss Goldrox, "of course you know that father has failed'-
 "Ah, really, Miss Goldrox, I must ask you to-
 "Why, you must have noticed how much he has failed. The doctors says his death is only''- n@ >
 "As I was saying, Miss Goldrox- Mabel-I must ask you to let me con- fort you in your approaching bereave- ment."-Catholic Standard and Times.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Precept and Example.

"When you find yourself admitting a slang word or phrase into your vocabu- lary, young ladies and gentlemen" 1" earnestly exhorted the professor of rhetoric, ''cut 1t out"
 Bless his old heart! He thought he was merely using a striking and ex- pressive figure of speech. IT Chicago Tribune.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Luckily He Isn't.

Mrs. Arlington-Is that young man that Ethel wingate is engaged to smart?
 Mrs. Lexington-Well, if he were as bright as she thinks he is everybody around here would have to wear blue glasses s.-Somerville Journal.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27

Indispensable Under Circumstances.
 Minister Approaching baptismal font) The candidate for baptism will now be presented.
 Mother of Intended Candidate Gin perturbed whisper to husband)-There! I knew we had forgotten something, Archibald. Run home quick and fetch the baby.-Boston Courier.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Ju.f I,fke s Policeman.

"what's the chargeg' asked the judge. ' "Impersonating an officer" answered the prosecutor.
 What was he doingY
 T saw him helping himself to fruit and peanuts from. street vendors stand. d."-Chicago Post.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Wherein Hi. Proverb Failed.

Wherein HIS PFOverb Fa1Ied.
 "We can accomplish nothing in this world" said the man who was given to moralizing, until the crooked is made straight"
 "Well," replied the other, who was ot convivial habit, "of course you would except the corkscrew. Philadelphia Press. ..s.- &
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
HOrrid Man!

Grace-What did you say when h. put his arm around you?
 Maud-I told him to behave himself. Grace-What did he do then? Maud-He behaved himself.
 Both Together-Ughi-Exchange.
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
Where It Was Due.

"Yes," she sneered during the cus- tomary exhibition of her temper, "I'm disappointed. I married you for pity, and now''-
 "You don't get any," he interrupted, flor all our friends lavish it on me- Philadelphia Press. s
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27

Schoolmaster-Have you brought the number of your house, Jones?
 ''Yus, sir, I've got it; but I had hard job to get it off-it was nailed on so tight"
The weekly examiner., 1901-04-27
|BOWSER GIVES TT UP
MS LAST ATTEMPT TO FIND A HOME i LIKE BOARDING HOUSE.

No. Was Highly Recommended to Him, but After . Brief Trial MF. E Bowser Turned Away In Sorrow | and Despair. | Copyright, 1901, by c. B. Lewia1
 It was week before MT. Bowser set out to look for boarding house No. 4, and he wouldn't have made the move then except that one of his friends said to him:
 Look here. Bowser, I boarded for nine years with the Widow Adams of Joy street. She's g good, old fashioned woman, and her house is run in the old fashioned New England way. You'll
The Springfield herald., 1901-05-03

arm to his side. Coolly he glanced ut
the beam overhead, the rope dangling
from it and the trap. He seemed sat
isfied that all was secure.
Father Dean of Trinidad stood be
side him, offering, but without re-
Sponse. the consolation of the church.
Deputy Sheriff Perfris Casadus was
on guard on the platform. Black Jack
took his place on the trap, his left leg
injured by bullet long ago. making
his movement awkward. There was
no sign of NERVOUSNESS from him. Sher-
itf Garcia and ii. j. Chambers, Il Den
yer secret service agent, fixed the
shackles. They did not fit properly
and Black Jack moved his limbs to
aid in their adjustment. He said moth
ing but: What is that?' when the
priest spoke. make that little tight
err said Ketchum, as the moose was
adjusted. And put the knot around
back of the ear, please" he continued
to the sheriff.
"Give me my black cap" he said
when the Shackles We're adjusted A
roaring wind and dust storm Topped
the muslin hood about. This annoyed
Black Jack. 1t was necessary to pin
the hood, n tedious operation. The de-
lay caused signs of nervousness.
black Jack KJleeS lrelnDleu, ne
moved his feet His one hand turned
purple. so intense was the strain. But
he exhibited no intention to speak ex-
cept to say: Let her go!" Those on
the scaffold touched his hand and said
good bye. They received no response.
The hand twitched from nervousness.
the list closed tightly.
At that instant the hatchet descend
ed. 1t was the signal to the coll
demned man. He dropped with the
speed of IL meteor. The head in the
bag fell into the pit the body lay mo-
tionless. To those on the scaffold it
seemed that the rope had broken.
"Back!' cried the guards with Ges-
lures of threatening rifles. A rush Of
deputies to the corpse revealed the
fact that Black Jacks death was n de-
capitation, instead of a hanging.