New-York tribune., 1901-05-19

General (speakng Off)-Say Major-C;areral not
General, Major-General. Comes DOWN. Con
found these fellows, have to pay my trades
men half much again for being a major
general as had when ] was 4 colonel There's
a regular graduated tax in London for old SOL
diers. Colonel much najor-general so much
more COnfound EN-, And half II EN- don't
know the difference between 4 general and a
major general. and want to charge me as f l
were fed marshal Thank the Lord. I'm the
only one hero, except the victim in the torture
chamber. perhaps ] shant be kept waiting
more than couple II hours. HUmph, Weekly
papers, Illustrated papers! l used TO read EN-
when l in India. but since I've retired and
this confCunded fellow has been tinkering at my
liver hate the sight Of en-. How can man
enjoy the papers at his club when they remind
him of the doctors waiting ROOM III enter
protest against the custom. collects the Illus
trated papers and sits on them) Now then.
where's The Lancet? Something cheerful
about saving of other fellows legs viii suit me.
a sort OF sherry and btters before the feast
that's TO come. Here We are, Noices heard
without) Lord love US, here's 4 woman.
They're always rushing Oft 10 the doctor, though
what earth they have the matter with
them that couldn't be cured with bread pill
beats me. But / suppose the doctors must 1--we
cThe Widow is shown in. O.
Widow ,sitting L-D-What a nu.sarc-, one
Of those horria old retired generals suppose.
Now ] shall be kept wa ting Tor hours while n
dilates on his imaginary ailments What can a
rough, strong man have the matter with him: .
Liver, of course! That's Overeating and too
many whiskey pegs. Men are SO greedy! Well.
j suppose / must resign myself To looking at the
illustrated papers. usual Strange / dom
see any Of them, I'm afraid 10 ring and ask
that pompous butler; he might be reading them
in the pantry. I'll ask the liverish old gentle
man; perhaps hes seen them. tCoughsD Ahem, 4
j beg your pardon,
General beg yours. ma'am. CAsde,) Now.
what does she want with me? A widow, evil
IDENTIFY. No use trying it with old dog-fox
like me. Seen too much of EN- in India.
Widow-Tm sorry TO interrupt you, but have
you seen the illustrated papers?
General-No ma am. haven't, and don't
mean to. If you read EN- here how can you
enjoy an at the club?
widow-But l haven't got club, and want
TO read them here. / shall have hours TO
1xait-(aslde) thanks TO you. G-ooks about)
Why he's sitting them the old wretch. But
III have them out If die for il tAloud) I'm
sorry TO disturb you, but / think the papers are
behind your chair.
General-Behind my chair? Confound the
woman, Impossible. maam, Why, so they are.
Widow-Perhaps the butler put them there.
General-The butler! No. ma'am. No butler
would dare to take such liberty. CRises.)
Widow-Doctors' buffers capable of any
thing. Thank you, if ycu viii let have them.
General fstill holding them)-Madam, let me
advise you. ] have had plenty of experience
Don't look at these papers. ] don't know what
is the matter with you whether you going
TO be trepanned like poor fellow ] have been
reading Of in The Lancet or have a leg off or
an eve out: but, whatever il is don't read EN-
They will always bring back the remembrance;
Won viii always feel as if your leg were coming
off again; they viii always taste of the surgery.
i can hardly look at 'em nOw-they remind me of
my liver Take an old-a middle aged mans
T. advice and don't read 'em. Sit on EN-!
Widow (aside)-Oh that's how they came on
his chair, (AloudD But I'm not going to have
ANYTHING out OF off, and need soothing CTakes
papers) Thank you very much
Ceneral-Well if you viii read em. OF course
1ou must But I've warned you. (Sits)
widow (after pause)-Im sorry TO interrupt
Won again but your voice and manner seem
strangely familiar TO me-
C;eneral-No ma am. they're not lmpossoIe-
quite impossible, I've been in lndia ana ihe
Soudan for thirty years, on and on. iiiIosSiD'e
lAsidel Confound the woman,
Yyidow-Why impossible? was born IN Iildla-
renaral-C;od bless my SOUL An but you
had 70 leave il at a very early age. Children OF
xour generation were always sent nome TO
school tAsideD And a great relief II was
Widow faside)-My generation? Mhat does ne