davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

1T wondher," said Mr.. Hennessy. IF
us Dimmycrats will liver ilict a prisi-
dint again.
I'VE wud," said Mr.. Dooley, "if we
cud but get an illegible candydate."
whats that?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
IAN illegible candidate" said Mr..
Dooley. ''is a candidate that can't be
read out iv tn party. IT'S joke I med
up. Me frind Willum j. Bryan reads tn
Commoner to thin an they pack up
their bags an lave. They'se as NANNY
Dimmycrats out Nv tn party as they
are in waitin' on tn durestep to read
thimsilves back an tn other la-ads
out. TIL loudest r-reader wins.
mo, sir, tn Dimmycratic party amt
on speakin' terms with itsilf. Win we
see two men with white neckties go in
to a sthreet car an set in opposite cor
ners. while wan mutthers 'Thraiter' an
tn other Kisses 'Miscreant' We can bet
they're two Dimmycratic leaders
thryin' to re-unite tn gran OF party.
IT'S on'y tn part iv tn party that can't
r-read that's thrue to tn principles Nv
Jefferson an Jackson.
ME frind willum J. is not a candy
date. He's illegible as an editor but
not as a candydate Anyhow he don't
want it or at Taste he don't want to
want it an not get it. All he asks is
some good man, some thried an thrus-
ty Dimmycrat that can lead tn party
on to gloryous victhry. But he can't
find him. Ye say Hill? Well, me frind
Willum ]. was asst to ask me frind
David Binnitt to go out FIR to make a
speech at Dimmycratic bankit on tn
TRADITIONS ~ tn Dimmycratic party,
Hill bein' wan iv thin an wan iv tn
worst. Gentlemen says Willum Jen-
nings, L admire David Binnitt Hill.
No wan he says, is a second to me in
affection for the great an good
man. he says. L shall niver fail in me
devotion to him TILL he says. tn place
heals up where he sunk tn ak into me
in ninety-six. But he says. 1 cannot
ask him to speak at ye'er bankit. /
cannot bear to hear him talk. Ivry time
he opens his mouth / want to put me
fut into it, he says. Moreover, he says,
if We ask him I'll take me meal at
home he says, FIR tn sight OF that
gallant Dimmycrat turns me firm food
he says. So that ends Hill. We can't go
with amy wan that our sainted leader
can't ate an egg with without sin.
well, thin, who've we got? They'se
me frind Bill Whitney. He won't do
because tn bookmakers niver get up
on Fiction day in time to vote. A thou
SAN to wan again Whitney, his oppo-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

| In the next field were more buttercpps.
She and the jester would go there and
then on over the hills. And this they
did
When it came to going into the next
pasture 10, the Princess entirely for
got about the gate and the Jester bent
upon pleasures also forgot. What is the
shutting of a gate at any rate and by,
and by, needless of the open gate and
the INTENDED geese. the Princess and
jester wandered back to the castle.
III.
The Geese and the Rest.
Now all the while they were gather
ing buttercups the little Goose-Girl had
still not got back to her geese. AT last
the gander got to his feet and looked
about and finally with loud "quack-
quack." said:
Sisters, the gate is open!"
Then they all ran and strained their
necks and repeated quacking.
Sisters, the gate is open"
And the sheep in the next pasture.
hearing the clatter raised their heads
and said:
"Baa-a-a, the gate is OPEN
And the cows in the pasture beyond
raised their heads and mooed and
said:
sisters. the gate is open" and the
little calves frisked their tails and their
young heels. And so it went from
field to field, from cattle TO cattle UNI
til the news reached the Kings horses
in the far, far pasture. And then what
do you think they all did Why, they
all determined that since the gate was
open they would run and see what the
world was like.
But this was not the end of it! When
the little Goose Girl got back she found
the geese gone, so you may be sure
she did no knitting; when the little
sheep boy came to gather in the sheep
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01
Mr.. DOOLEY
DISCUSSES PARTY PROSPECTS.
BY r. p. dunno.


nent to carry tn audjiotoroom on his
back. Theyse me frind Charlie Towne,
tn unsalted orator iv tn Zenith City
! "Thraitor," said MIR. Hennessy
HE has got some money" said Mr..
Dooley reflectively. Il see in tn pa
apers he says they'se now enough to
go ar-round-enough FIR him TO go
ar-round, Hinnissy. He's a thraitor. I
wisht / cud afford to be wan. Well,
what dye say to German? They'se a
fine. straightforward, honest, clane,
incorruptibule man. Ye put him alone
in a room with tn rayturns an we can
go out an gather bar'ls FIR tn bonfire.
Ye won't have him, Ell? Oh, he knitted
tn ticket, did he? Secretly? Oh, my,
oh my! TIL villain. Down goes German.
Well, let me see, let me see; whove
we got? / cud think iv a good nanny
that cud captain a ball team, but whin
I come to silictin' a candidate FIR pris-
ident ivry man l think iv is ayther a
thraitor or wan that tn thraitors wud-
dent vote FIR. If we don't get tn thrai-
tor vote we're lost. Theyse me frind
Sinitor Jim Jones. A good man. He
won't do, we say? Niger country.
Oh, aye. We can't take a candidate
firm tn same part Nv tn country
that tn votes come firm. Ye're fright.
There's Altgeld? Proochen? Thrue.
Aggynal-? " coorse not. Schley? He
may be doin' time FIR disorderly con-
duct an assault with deadly weepin
be that time. Charter Hatch? What
wud a man that's been Mayor iv Chi
cago do with an infeeryor job like tn
PRESIDENCY? Tom Johnson? A sthreet
car platform amt broad enough FIR
tn party. Dockery? 1t sounds too
much like tn endin' Nv a comic song.
An firm Missoury, too. Fuller? Anoth-
er thraitor an what's worse, a judge.
Well, there's Cleve-. HoP on there,
don't We throw it. Put down that chair,
/ tell We.
"Ye're hard to suit, Hinnissy. I've
named thin all over an taken me life
in me hand with half iv thin an lost
me reputation FIR common sinse be min
tionin' tn others. Whin l lead q man
in through wan dure we lead him out
iv another an throw tn book afthcr
him. I'm thryin' to find a man FIR We
to uphold tn banner so that we can
march shoulder to shoulder an heart
to heart, to a mimrabe victhry, an
ivry time l mintion tn name if wan iv
ye'er fellow Dimmycrats We make a
face. What ar-re We goin' to do? Ye
might thry advertiser in tn pa-apers
Wanted, a good active, Energetic Dim
mycrat, sthrong iv lung an limb; must
be in favor Nv sound money but not
too sound, an anti-impeeryalist but FIR
holdin' onto what we've got, an inimy
Nv thrusts, but frind iv organized cap
ital, a sympathizer with tn crushed
an downthrodden people. but not ne
amy means hostile to vested INTERESTS:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01
The Modern Fable of How Manv
Good Man Goes Wrong.

ineffable Pity for them and the 81
knowledge that he is a pretty s hot
Pigeon" NoI
TT must be awful" said the NJ.
Boy. -NeW
TT is, but there are lower Dan+h. ),
said the Ancient Jobber. "Aftar -,
Intellect has become thoroughlv dassi
Gated by the Base Ball Score. fhe So
Machine, the Coon Song and the w
riety Pun then the Unfortunata ta,,a-
to the Red Vest Habit This comes -
the same Category with Cocaine ~ ~
Hasheesh. The Red Vester looks ~
himself in Drug Store Windows az
whenever he sees a It'd Bit with tar,
colored Hair. he thinks that she want-
to leave Home and follow him. Ahont
this time he begins to conceal the Stor,.
of his Early Youth and he paws 90 ~
have his Face treated by a Skin Doc
tor"
II never would do that" said +bo
Country Boy. decisively.
That's what you say now. bur ?
have seen so many Nice Young Eel
lows go Wrong, that 1 would not nut
Guarantee on the best of them. saiS
the Old Gentleman. But to resume
You might think that after a Man 90.
to be an Imitation Spirit and wore
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

steel wires instead of muscles and her
arms have the strength of an athlete
in training
The car propelled by the hunchbaclS
engine grated and bumped it's way over
Its cog wheel road, pushing its delight
ed quota of passengers higher and
higher into the mountains. The Inn
valley fell away from our view and
wooded slopes, fir trees, patches of
snow on far hill sides and tiny hamlets
took its place.
Here and there among those little
villages live my summer pupils" said
Nine. Csrreno. 81 have six. One from
San Francisco, one from Australia, one
from Paris, one from Geneva and two
from Russia-all young girls. and with
such talent They live all the way from
Jenbach to the Achensee, and come to
me once a week"
The II ain stopped with a final squeal
of the chain and a lurch which loosened
our joints.
Before us spread a sheet OF water OF
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

I must advocate sthrikes, gover'mint be
| injunction, free silver, sound money,
| greenbacks, a single tax, a tariff FIR
| rivinoo, tn CONSTRUCTION to follow tn
| flag as far as it can an no farther,
civil service rayform iv' tn la-ads in
office an all tn gr-reat an gloryous
| principles Nv our great an gloryils
part.' or amy great and GLORIOUS
parts thereof. He must be akelly at
| home in Wall sthreet an tn stock
yards, in tn parlors ov tn r-rich an
tn kitchens Nv tn poor. Such a man
be applyin' to Malachi Hinnissy, Ar
rchey r-road, an prisintin' rif'reEces
IF m his last party, can get good en-
pigment as a candidate FIR prisidint,
with certainty aftherward iv con-
gaillaI place as public r-reader sn'
party bouncer.' Ye might get an an
| swer.''
"Oh, well. we'll find some wan" said
| Mr.. Hennessy, cheerfully.
Il guess" said Mr.. Dooley, that
ye're right about that. Yell have
| candydate an he'll have votes. Man
an boy I've seen tn Dimmycratic
party hangin to tn ropes a score iv
times. I've seen 1t dead an burrid an
1 tn Republicans kindly buildin' a
| monymint FIR it an preparin' to spind
their declinin' days in tn custom house.
We gone to sleep nights wondhrin'
where I'd throw away me vote afther
THIS, an whin woke up there was that
crazy-headed oil loon Nv a party with
| Its hair sthreamin' in it's eyes, an an
axe in its hand, chasin' tn Raypubli-
cans into tn tall grass. 'Tis niver so
good as whin it's broke, whin rayspic-
table people speak iv it in whispers, an
whin 1T has no leaders an on'y one
principle, to go in an take il away
firm tn other fellows. Something will
turn up, We bet, Hinnissy. TIL Ray
publican party may die Nv overfeedin,
or all tn leaders pump out so much lie
they won't feel like leadin'. An amy
how they'se always wan ray iv light
ahead. We're sure to have hard times.
An whin tn la-ads that ar-re baskin
IN tn sunshine iv prosperity with An
drew Carnaygie an Pierpont Morgan
an me frind John d. finds that tn
sunshine has been turned off an their
fellow-baskers has relieved thin "
what they had in tn dark we'll take
thin boys be tn hand an say: Come
over with ye'er kind. TIL Raypubli-
can party broke We, but now that ye're
down, We'll not turn a cold shoulder
to ye. Come in an We'll keep We
broke
Yes, sir, yell have a candydate. II
worst comes to worst, I'll offer mesih
again."
1T wud he that" said Hennessy. But
We ain't-what-d'ye -call-it?"
Il may not be as illegible as some
said Mr.. Dooley, but I'd get as NANNY
votes as Others"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

when the sun went down, he found the
sheep gone; when the cowboys would
have driven the COWS home to the
barns where the milkmaids were wait
ing with pals they found the cows gone,
but oh. worst of all, when that evening
at shutdown there was a sudden attack
on the castle by the Kings enemy and
the Kings soldiers were called to
arms, and the stable boys were sent
into the field to catch and bride the
Kings horses, 10, they found the King S
horses gone.
And so the little Goose Girl made her
eyes red with crying hard for her lost
geese; the sheep boy had a beating be-
cause he could not bring home the
sheep, the cowboys were scolded by
the milkmaids because there was no
milk for supper and worst of all, the
Kings soldiers being obliged to meet
the enemy on foot instead of mounted
upon the Kings horses, were defeated
by the Kings enemies and the King
and the little Princess and the Jester
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

Shoot your Stuff" said the
Youth. assuming an easy Attitude.
Nearly all of us here in Town came
from up in the Woods" said the Old
Gentleman. when you hear a Deuce
of Chap complaining because he can't
find a good Restaurant, you may set it
down that he went Bare Footed up to
IA and tackled a Boiled Dinner every
Noon. AS you begin to circulate here in
the City you will get the Impression
that all these small Johnnies with the
pearl-gray Gloves and the baggy
Trousers were brougt up in the Lap of
Luxury. Later on you will drop to the
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01
rheumatism

Rheumatic pains are the cries of protest
and distress from tortured muscles, aching
joints and excited nerves The blood has
been poisoned by the accumulation of
waste matter in the system, and can no
longer supply the pure and health sustain.
ing food they require. The whole system
feels the effect of this acid poison; and
not until the blood has been purified and
brought back TO healthy condition will
the aches and pains cease.
Mrs. James Kci of 7o7 Ninth street, N. z.
Washington, d. C, writes as follows "A few
months ago had an attack of Sciatic Rheumn,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01
MODERN FABLES
BY GEORGE ABE. NA~ NA~ ~

Copyright, 1901, by Robert Howard
Russell.
Once there was Landmark of the
Jobbing District who found berth
for the Son of an Old Friend.
The Boy arrived from the Country
wearing what is known as the Peaceful
Valley Dicer, with a Buckle on one
side, and he had his Money sewed ur
in the Lining of his Coat. In his Tele-
scope were some fresh Crulls, a Copy
of Tupper's Proverbial Philosophy and
three Shirts made by the Women
Folks. with the Buttons attached.
When the Boy struck the Wholesale
House he was welcomed by the Main
Shaft, who gazed on him with Com
passion.
80 you have broken Home Ties and
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

Red Vest and smiled back at Lemon
Cream Soubrettes, that he had touched
Bottom. No so. Sometimes he is draw
ing about one-fourth of the Salary that
is due him. He learns that there is A
brutal Conspiracy against him. Ord-
nary Skates who don't know any of the
late Coon Songs and have no standing
in Blonde Society are being promoted
while he is being threatened with the
Chute. Sometimes he hangs on and
sometimes he doesn't, but always af-
ter that he is Percy with the Griev-
ance."
How shall I avoid this horrible
Fate" asked the newcomer.
BY starting back to the Farm the
minute you feel laundering for Red
Vest" was the Reply
MORAL: A Roast in Time saves
Nine.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

tIstn III us WOTst IOr1n. TIC
pain was so intense tina. I
became completely pros
trated. The attack was an
unusually severe one, and
my condition was regard
ed as being very danger
Gus. l was attended by
one of the most able doc
tors in Washington, WHO is
also a member of the fac
ulty Of a leading medical
college here. He told me
TO continue his preserip-
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

His cteristics.-visitor: Whom
do you take after, Bobby, your papa
or mamma?
Bobby Jones: That depends wnen
Aunt Sarahs here ma says l take atteI
her folks, and when Uncle Silas Jones
is here ma says I'm regular Jones
They're both r-r-richl-Leslies Week
ly.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

tons and would get well. After having I, filled
twelve times without receiving the slightest
benefit, declined to continue his treatment any
longer Having heard of S. ). S Swift Specihc)
recomme nded for Rheumatism, decided, almos'
In despair however, to give the medicine a tra,
and after had taken a few bottles / was able 20
hobble around on clutches, aud very soon there
after had no use for them at all, S. s. s having
cured me sound and well. All the distressing
pains have left me, my appetite has returned,
and am happy to be again restored TO perfect
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

-Un-American.- keeps a strict
ly American boarding house, doesn't
she?"
Yes, and that makes it seem all the
more out of place that so many o.
her boarders should take French leave
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

such blueness, such a limpid. clear.
deep sapphire blue as l never saw IN
water before. Around it rose the hills
OF Tyrol. guarding it like sentinels.
1t was the Achensee.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

minerals in it to disturb the digestion and
lead TO ruinous habits.
We have prepared special book on
Rheumatism which every sufferer from
this painful disease should read. 1t is the
most complete and interesting book Of
the kind in existence. 1t will be sent free
to any one desiring ii. Write our physi-
clans fully and freely about Your case. We
make no charge for medical advice.
IHE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ALBANIA. "a
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01
Conclusion.

The King when his kingdom was
gone, was forced to go away to the
wars and he parted from his little
daughter in great sorrow for though
she had caused so much misery yet he
loved her dearly and kept telling her
that perhaps some day he would again
be King and she should again be Prin-
cess over his people
And while the King was gone what
did the little Princess do? Why, she
used TO go each day into the emerald
green meadows TO tend the geese with
the little Goose Girl and to learn from
the little Goose-Girl the simple little
duties which Processes rarely know,
and which the Princess had learned.
to her sorrow, often meant so much.
And there, waiting the Kings return
from the wars the little Princess used
10 sit knittink socks for the Kings
soldiers. And II ever she grew sad Cold
would tilt straws on the end Of his
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

and the Court We're turned out of doors
that night. and obliged to seek a home
elsewhere, while the Kings enemies
entered the palace and ruled in his
stead-and all of this because the gate
was left open or because the lite:
Princess did not think it of any impor-
lance to do so little thing.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01

the great vegetable
purifier and tonic, is
the ideal remedy in all
rheumatic troubles.
There are no opiates or
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-09-01
THE PRINCESS AND
THE GOOSE GIRL.

By ]. S. & L. S. PORTER.
copyright, 1901, by S. S. Mcclure Coz
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1901-07-17

themselves and nothing on the cause oS
God, and they crack the back of their
Palais Royal glove in trying to hide the
one cent they put in the Lords treasury.
What an superintendent. Twenty thou
sand dollars for ourselves and one cent
for God. An, my friends, This extrava-
gance accounts for great deal of what
the cause of God suffers
And the Dissertation goes on. even to
the funeral day Yoa know very well
thar there are men who die solvent, but
the expenses ar great before they get
underground they are insolvent. There
are families that go into penury in wick
ed response 10 the demands of this day.
They pnt in casket aud tombstone that
which they Ought to put in bread. They
wanted bread; sou gave them tomb
stone.
One would think that the last two obli-
cations people would he particular about
would be to the physician and the under
taker Because they are the two last OH
legations those TWO professions are al
most always cheated. They send for the
doctor j.. great haste, and he must come
day an! night They send for the under
taker amid the great solemnities, and Of
ten these two men are the very last to be
met with compensation. Merchants sell
goods, and the goods are not paid for.
They take back the goods ! am told. But
there is no relief in this case. The man
spent all he had in Injuries and extrava-
g:.nee while he lived. and then he goes
out OF the world and has left nothing
for his family. nothinA Ger the obsequies,
and as he goes our OF the world he steals
the doctors pills and the undertaker's
slippers. | was reading in New York
neee- an account of the obsequies in a
FANNY of very moderate estate, and the
aggregate was $4,000. A man in New
York Of moderate estate dies. He has
lived in extreme luxury. He departs this
life. The family, DESTROYS of &eeping up
the maghiticence, orders the following
things; tacv were produced and never
paid for ,plS.s day:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1901-07-17
NEWS OF WISCONSIN,
A WEEKS RECORD OF STATE
HAPPENINGS.
Woman Saves a Boys Life Rich Mil
waukee Merchant Killed by Expio-
sion-Bie Paper Mill Will BE Put TIP
Fire Ravagcs Lone Rock.

The life ef d. z -sear-ojd boy was saved
by hero action ON the part Of Mrs. e..
b. Nithnall after two of the little fell
lows companions had deserted him when
they saw the danger he was ill., He hail
fallen into the river at Milwaukee and
was about to 90 down for the third time
when Mrs. Whitnall saw what was hap
pening and without moments hesita-
ton plunged intro the river from steep
bank and saved his life The bank is
quite high and there was no time TO
climb down, so Mrs. Whitnall made the
plunge and succeeded in reaching the boy
jnst IS he was disappearing beneath the
surface. Unaided, she swan TO the river
bank and then proceeded TO resuscitate
the boy. who was barely conscious.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1901-07-17
Brief state Happenings.

4 boy named BREEDER. aged II years
was drowned while bathing in the She
boygan River.
John Smith, whi!e bathing in Rock
Lake. was taken suddenly with cramps
and drowned before assistance could
reach him.
While swimming in the tail race. which
leads from the second level in the Fox
River at Appleton, William Bolduan. an
employe IN the Ravine paper mills, was
suddenly seized with a cramp aud drown
ed.
Charles Snooke, who has been running
portable sawluil near Hayward was
badly injured by an emery wheel which
burst and piece struck him a CHANGING
blow on the forehead. fracturing his skull
and badly. cutting his head.
A loaded wagon broke through the
Burkhardt bridge near Hudson, throwing
several men and boys. who were fishing
on the bridge. into the water. One of
them, a boy named Johnston, was killed.
The others were all injured
Because She refused TO marry him.
Fred Alex. a Milwaukee bartender. shot
and probably fatally wounded Martha
Weisc, Il domestic. After shooting the
woman in the breast Alex turned the
weapon on himself. indicting similar
wound.
Alfred Gallant, proprietor Of the CAT
LIANT House. Fond du Lac. has COM
mpnced an action for divorce against his
wife, Indiana Gallant. alleging cruel aud
inhuman treatment. They were married
at Neenah June 3, 1896. and came TO
Fond dn Lac soon after their marriage.
Mrs. Annie Herbst Seager, wife Of Ed.
ward Seager Of Kaukauna. died suddenly
in lie arms of her husband Mrs. Seager
had been married only two days.
Secretary John VI. True OF the Wiscon
sin State Board Of Agriculture has begun
sending out copies Of the premium list
of the next State fair, to be held in Mil
YANKEE Sept. 9 to -.
An elopement which caused surprise TO
the people Of Neenah took place the 9th.
er day, when il was discovered that Bert
Cramer. rural free delivery carrier. and
Marian Harth were married at Menoini
nee Mich.
While swimming IN small pond back
Of Gund's brewery at La Crosse Emil
Hammer, aged Il years, drowned in
sight Of four companions who were dress
ing on the bank.
Out Of twenty applicants Tor count
superintendent certificates. who have TAX
en- the examination before the State
board recently. not one has been success
full. Examinations were held simultane-
ously at Madison, where there were eley-
IN applicants Appla On with eight. and
Eau Claire one Most Of them viii
make another attempt 10 pass at the next
to be held in Madison Aug.
IL. IL and is, when applicants for fesrh. 4
ers' certificates will also be examineds II
-ga y bRs