The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-08-22


That the college boy is often too ex-
uberant all who know him will admit,
but that he is as much of nuisance
as Judge Frank Doster of the Kansas
Supreme Court declares some will
question. Among other things" said
.he judge in q recent newspaper arti-
Gle, Il would reform the college SUI
dent or kill him OF. knock on him. l
know we pretend to dote on him and
affect to believe that he Is the hope and
first care Of the State. but It's q lie.
We don't. Nobody but his mother
does. From the time he first starts out
10 render .Gallia est Omnis divisa in
parties tres he becomes an insuferabie
nuisance. If at that stage Of his ca
reer his own gall could be. divided into
5000 parts instead Of three and he left
with only one of them the relief to
mankind and to himself would be ines
Unable, because an infinitesiraal frac-
ton of the whole of what he has would
suffice the needs of any ordinary NOR
tai.
"Why do l say these hard things
about him? l say 1t because he Is
self-impOrtant, noisy, conceited, ignor-
ant of all practical wisdom, parts his
hair in the middle, fiaunts his frater-
nifty badge and school colors in an Of
.fensive, challenging sort Of way in ev-
erybOdy's face, and Frances upstreet
yawping his ear-splitting college yell
to the fright and disgust Of all timid.
sensitive folk within sound. l saw
him at the Twentieth Kansas recep-
ton, bigger man than Funston-big-
ger even than Gen. Hughes-making
more noise and taking up more room
than the whole procession, elbOwing ey-
erybody out Of the way and drowning
the voices of the orators and the music
of the bands with his idiOtic Rock
chalk, jay hawk; rah! rah! rah! Wash.
burn, rah! Baker, hurrahv' or whatever
the internal Siwash gibberish is. l
have seen somewhat of this world and
l think have correctly sized up
good many people in 1t, and l give it as
my mature and solemn judgment, based
upon a careful, unprejudiced COMPARE
son of the many classes Of people who
cultivate the habit Of making a holy
show Of themselves. that, with the ex-
ceptiOn to be hereafter noticed, the
average college student is the most OBJ
trusive and elephantine ass that fronts
the grieved and frowning face of heav-
en-. l was a college student once my
self.
NOW, am not objecting to what this
creature learns at school. It's what he
doesn't learn that I am talking about.
He's lazy. He doesn't design himself
for any Of the usual work of mankind.
Nobody ever heard of college student
who was fitting himself for anything
but one of the learned professions. so
called-that is, one Of the professions
Of learning how to live off the balance
of mankind. He's going to be law
yer, a preacher. doctor, an editor.
an author, an orator, a statesman, and
no doubling thought ever ruffies his
serenely egotistic soul that when once
he vaults into the arena Of affairs the
things of this world will be speedily set
to rights.
But when he finally does land out
the much-abused, lOng-suffering world
gets its revenge. The world just trips
him up and rolls its big self over him
and mashes the wind out of him and
then picks him up and chucks him into
a little 8x10 Office, with cobwebs on
the ceiling and fly specks on the win
dows and two broken-leg chairs on the
floor and a dozen secondhand books
in a wobbly old case with the glass
broken out, and, refusing to pay his
board bill any longer. goes of and
leaves him to learn wisdom from the
ant.
"NOr have any spite at the college
student. I only think he takes up too
much room and makes too much noise
and costs too much money and is too
smart in the budding days Of his ca
reer. II he could only be induced to
subside somewhat, to practice little
the modest habit of self-effacement,
90 out and soak his head. turn an X
ray upon his inwards and see himself
as others see him. we could possibly
endure him instead Of filing up with
wicked wishes for his assassination.
But he won't"