davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
HUMOR OF THE HOUR


MY wife will he careful hereafter
how she takes lherti,s with the tcuta."
said Jones. with a grin. We haa CTR
minister with Us the Other day FER sl.n-
ner and the conversation turued Upon
ahsentm intieineSS. and my better bali
had 10 tell story.
IL am dreadfuny disseminated,
said she Il remember some six or
seven years ago a friend OF msne gave
me her celebrated recipe for making
Jam. When | reached home. | care
fully put il away where l would h
sure To ind il when ! wanted il. 8ut
Go YOU know. few weeks later Wen
needed il | couldn't remember for
the life of me where | had p&t II, ana
to this day | have never been able 10
find it,
After dinner she turned 10 the Eev.
Mr.. Thirdly and said sweetly:
".Would you mind reading n chs pier
in the Bible? We make il a rule 10
read III least one chapter every hight.
This statement caused The 10 look
al her in surprise. for il was news TO
me-
The reverend gentleman consented
graciously. and she brought the family
Bible. which she had carefully busted
and placed in a conspicuous spot be-
fore he had arrived.
"As he turned the leaves a paper
futtered 10 the floor.
Goodness. gasped my wife as she
picked it up. not realizing how her
words were going to sound after her
somewhat pious statement. II is that
recipe for jamr Detroit Free Press.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
The Waiting Period.

as anybody waiting on you" said a
foorwaIker at a dry goods store 10 a
girl from the country.
Yes. sir" said the blushing 6amsei-
That's my young man outside. He
wouldn't come in
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
A Building Proposition.

Cholly-Why SO quiet, Miss Grace?
Grace Qightly)-Oh. was building
castles in the air!
Choliy-What did you use for q cor
nerstonei
Graee-A solitaire.-Town Topics.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19

WANTED-Ladies to work on sofa
pillows. Materials furnished. Steady
work guaranteed. experience IN
necessary. Send stamped envelope
TO Miss MCGEE, Needlework depart
ment, Ideal Co.. Chicago.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
An,..up,iaI Unaer.,.na,nr

Aallory-After We are married. Ma
RE. you must never hesitate to ash me
when you want money
Marie-No. indeed. Mallory. and
hope that you will never hesitate about
giving it to me.-Brooklyn Life.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
One Explanation.

Her hair turned white In a single
night" began the person who was
about TO tell ghost story.
"She should not have used the perox-
ide SO heavily Uttered the frivolous
young fhing.-Baltimore American.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
FUR FASHIONS.
Here. In Other Garments. the Flat
rundown Collar Leads.

Furriers must live even in summer,
and this perhaps explains the early
Offering of the new seasons models
and the endeavor to turn peoples
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
Louisville Gram ard Livestock

Wheat-No. red and longberry. 7Ic.
Corn-No. W hite. SIC: No. mixed, Gle.
oats-No. , mixed sac: No. white. 40c.
Cattle-Dull at s2-25td5.
Hogs-Steady nj $3.50 1925.
Sheep--teadv at S2fd2.50.
Lambs-DuH al s2.59d4.25
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
Chicago Livestock.

Catile-steadv; steers, 81 TO $50; stockers and
feeders. Ss..5 10 ass.
Hoxs-strong at Si.oo to $50.
Sheep->teady at s3.25 10 $50.
Lambs-steaay at $3.50 to AIS.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
Cincinnati Ora in and Livestock.

Wheat-Fi1 No. red. 74I3c.
Corn-Steady; No. mixed, 80 &C.
Oats-Ea-y: No. = mixed. Sslzc.
Cattle-Dull at sl.15 To s5.l5.
Hogs-Active at S4.lo To $3.50.
Sheep--nuil al $l.25 10 $500.
Lambs-eteady at s2.o0d4.5o.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19

For SALE -Baseburner and trim
mlngs for 81 at 216 north twelfth
street.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
why He Was Fired.


here this morning.
Il posted 1t. sorr."
Posted ii. You idiot! Why. there
was no address on it,"
Il know. sorr. but was after think
in you didn't want me to know who
you were writin to-"
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
LATEST QUOTATIONS..

Chicago, Ill Oct. 10. = Wheat,
69s. Corn, 54E. Oats. 34a.
Toledo, O., Oct. 19.-Wheat. IA :.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
Peoples EXCHANGE.

All advertisements under the above
head, such as wanted" .for sale, :"
lost, &c, will be given one insertion
free, to Palladium subscribers.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19

Closing cash market-Wheat 6tsse; corn.
55Isc: oats, 3s52c; pork, sl3.s2; lard. s9.52;
ribs. $50.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19

Storage-Ground floor, sixteenth
and Main. Vern Smith. If
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
DAILY MARKET REPORT
Prices For Grain. Provis.
ions and Livestock on Oct. Is.
IndiauanOIis Grain and LiyeStot.

Wheat-W agon. zoe; No red. steady, re.
Corn-Duil; No mixed. 5sl2',.
Oats-Firm; No. mixed. 81 sc.
Cattle-Steady at >2.15Gd6.4o.
Hogs-Steady at S4.s5{d6.6Q
Sheep--Steady at sl.5od3-25.
Lambs-steady at sstd4-25.
Chicago Grain and Provisions.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
East Buffalo Liyestock

Cattle-Dull at $3.50 t93 &C.
Hogs-Firm al s5<d6.7o.
sheep-Steady At s9.l5942s
Lambs-steady at ti.s5tG5.lS.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19

FOR SALE-A newspaper route. E
T. Honey, No. loo south ninth street.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19

New York Livestock.
Cattle-SIow at $3.50 to $50.
Hogs-Quiet at So to 6.o5.
Sheep-Slow at $3.50 to $50.
Lsmbs-Steady at AS to Sis.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1901-10-19
Toledo Grain

Wheat Active: cash, .4Isc; Dec. 49,.
Corn-Dull: No. cash 5sc
Oats Active: No. cash, SIC.
The Conservative, 1901-07-25
POLITICAL.

The republican congressman in Illi-
nois from outside of Chicago are said to
be organizing against the candidacy of
Charles G.. Dawes for the United States
senate. The reason given is that they
do dot like Mr.. Dawes because he has
outweighed all the congressman and the
senators in his influence at Washington
in connection with Illinois affairs, es-
pecially appointments.
Gov. Nash, of Ohio, re-nominated by
the republicans, and his democratic op-
ponent, James Kilbourne, both reside in
Columbus, and have been cordial friends
for thirty-six years. No personalities
are expected in their campaign. It is
told of Col. Kilbourne that he never had
a strike in his implement factory and
has never reduced wages. When the
panic of 1898 came, it was feared that
he might have to cut down the pay of
his men, and he went before them and
asked if they would accept reduction
in case of necessity. They agreed, but
the necessity did not arise.
The Conservative, 1901-07-25

questing reference to some work, if
there were any, which would throw
light on certain point in one of John
@. Fremont's exploring expeditions; and
received by return mail reply from the
obliging librarian, giving the names Of
thirty-four books which he recommend
ed, and ending with reference to "gen-
eral works Oh the subject"
There is such a thing as knowing too
much.
The Conservative, 1901-07-25
TREE GROWTH SPOILS CROP FAIL
URES.
URES

If thirty three feet of all the county
roads in Nebraska could be planted to
maple, elm and ash trees, it would in 25
years be an endowment for the state,
beside which the public school fund
would sink into permanent insignif-
canoe. Hot winds would no longer ter
rorize the peaceful husbandman and
make the family atmosphere such that
the husband is terror to the wife.
Rains would come with regularity.
Crops would be assured and the golden
cornucopia would be upside down over
the land from South Omaha to Lodge
Pole (Which has not yet sent in it's re-
turns). In the planting of trees over
the treeless areas, and the preservation
of the forests that have been left, are
the only Safeguards for the agricultural
interests of the country. Rainfall in
Nebraska is sufficient every year if it
could be distributed throughout the
season. Violent rainfall is characteristic
of treeless countries. 1t is character
istic of eastern states that were once
heavily timbered, and where gentle
rains covered the entire summer season
before the timber was destroyed York
Republican.
The Conservative, 1901-07-25
Che Conservative.


licans declare that it is dead, but they
keep working at it," Even more ex-
plicit was his private declaration to
Congressman Levy during the campaign
of last year, which the latter introduced
into public document, few months
ago, in the following words:
"Mr. Levy. 1t has never been
before stated, but the distinguished
gentleman who ran for president of the
United States last winter, when he was
in Washington, told me that, if he was
elected president Of the United States,
he would find way to pay in silver un-
der the present law. Now, we certainly
ought to give the secretary of the
treasury the power to issue bonds to
protect that reserve.
"Mr. Hill-Do I understand that Mr..
Bryan made that statement to you, Mr..
Levy?
"Mr. Levy-Yes, sir.
"Mr. Cochran-Why, certainly; there
is no question as to that"
This colloquy took place in the house
committee on coinage, weights, and
measures on the 10th of January last. It
is of some importance still as illustrat-
ing Mr.. Bryan's fanatical adherence to
the silver question as an issue in ma
tional politics, and explaining his loud
| cf fho Of f1,n IL
convention.
That Mr.. Bryan is out of the running
as candidate for the democratic nomi-
nation in 1904 is now quite certain. He
may, however, be the candidate of the
populists, or of some offshoot of that
party. He may fall into the tracks of
Gen. Weaver, who was the candidate of
the greenbackers on so many different
occasions. Mr.. Bryan is essentially a
populist. The aim and purpose of
that party from the beginning has been
debasement of the currency by fresh is
sues Of greenbacks. To this end, silver
was but stepping stone. Mr.. Bryan
| IllouO q opCCOll 1Ol UilC SlCOhOttOh uOAu-
sion while he was in congress, and there
is little doubt that it was this, and not
the "cross of gold and crown of thorns"
speech at Chicago, that gave him the
populist nomination in 1896. The popu-
lists of the Ocala platform will be more
than ever attached to him if he leaves
the democratic party. That he should
leave it, seems to be logically necessary
if in 1904 it shall refuse to endorse the
silver plank of the Kansas City plat
form, as it seems now certain that it
will. There will always be odds and
ends of parties sufficient to run third
ticket in any presidential campaign
For such distinction Mr.. Bryan is now
|
The Conservative, 1901-07-25
MIR. BRYAN'S RESPONSE.

should make some response to the action
of the Ohio democratic convention. The
vote taken in that body was so direct
a Reputation both of the Kansas City
platform and of himself as leader Of
the party, that to leave it unnoticed
would be interpreted as acquiescence in
it. Accordingly we are quite prepared
to learn that the Commoner contains a
response of so decided tone that it
might be classed as the countercheck
quarrelsome to the Ohio democrats, and
to all others who agree with them.
How numerous these are the public may
gather from the extracts we are publish
ing from the leading organs of the
party and from the interviews with
democratic leaders. The acclaim that has
come up from the South echoing the
Ohio platform is the most significant
demonstration of all, since it comes
from quarter which is able to lay
down the law to the entire party. The
competency of the southern wing of the
party to control it's action in national
conventions, is not disputed, yet it's
power has seldom or never been exer-
cised. It has been a latent power alto
gether. If the South had carried out
it's own purposes and given expression
to it's own beliefs at Kansas City last
year, the platform would not have con-
tanned the silver plank which was
adopted, or any other on that subject.
The southern delegates, however, fol-
lowed the lead of the northern ones, who
followed that of Mr.. Bryan himself.
They will not make that mistake again.
Nor will there be any occasion to do so,
since the North is as completely cured
Of the currency madness as any other
section.
Mr.. Bryan's response in the Commoner
confirms everything that has been said
by those who are opposed to him in ma
tional politics. The great body of
democrats and independents who either
voted against him last year, or refrained
from voting at all, said that he was so
fanatical on the money question that,
although the Kansas City platform made
it subordinate to that of imperialism,
he would, if elected, use the power Of
the presidential Office to debase the cur
rency, and that such action would
plunge the business of the country into
confusion, the end of which could not
be foreseen. This was the opinion of
men of calm judgment and independent
thought, such as President Eliot,
Wheeler H. Peckham, Charles Francis
Adams, John G.. Carlisle, Senator CAT
ferry, Professor Laughlin, and many
others, against whom could be imputed
no leaning toward imperialism or Nc
Kiu1oviSrn in anv form
The Conservative, 1901-07-25
EMBARRASSMENT.

One of The CONSERVATIVE force re-
Gently wrote to the Newberry library re-
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14

SO, quite so. l am delighted to be able
to assure your lordship that there was
not hitch in the proceedings, and ev-
erything went off exactly as arranged
and am sure most heartily congrat-
ulate your lordship," said the official
volubly.
Congratulate! On blacksmiths
son! You-you''-
"a blacksmith's son certainly, and l
doubt If she could have had better
partner. She had the ideas, and he had
the mechanical ability. Experts say
that the bicycle saddle they have in
vented is just the thing that the public
have long been waiting for and waiting
for In vain. do little business in Il
financial way, and the young man was
good enough to intrust the arrange
ments to me. 1 succeeded in interest
ing the great company promoter, Gil
looley, In the invention after we had
secured the patents all over the world
for 1t, and this morning the contracts
We're signed. The young man is to be
made managing director of the compa-
ny at large salary when the saddle is
put on the public"
"I-I-really don't know what you
are talking about" stammered the earl
'The saddle on the public? l thought
you said it was to be put on a bicycle"
quite so, quite so. Gillooley has paid
your daughter 100000 cash, less my
little commission. and he intends to
pass 1t on to the public for two mil
lions. And he'll do it too"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14
The Bride ut Last Said "obey.pi

In telling about "Some People Have
Married" in Ladies' Home Journal the
Rev. d. NJ. Steele says: Being an
Episcopalian, always use the formal
printed service of the prayer book. In
this the greatest stickler Is obey One
day u couple came to me, bringing rs
witnesses the parents of both bride and
groom. Everything proceeded smooth
iy to the point love, honor and obey,'
when the bride refused to say the last.
l repeated it and waited. Again she
refused, and shut up my book.
"Then there was scene. They talk
ed it over, and the more seriously they
argued and discussed the more stub
bornly she refused. The parents be.
came angry, the groom excited and the
bride hysterical. To humor her, he
Joined in the request to have me leave
it out. But l liked the fellow and de-
cided that little sternness from me
in the present might be favor to him
in the future. So told them had no
authority to change 1t and would not
do SO. l tried to show the foolishness
of her objection, but it was no use.
Finally I said to him: We'll, this
household must have q head some
whore. Will lonve 1t out for her If
you will say IT. Then it was his time
to refuse, which he did. he gathered
up his hat and started for the door,
when, presto change, she sprang after
him, led him back by the hand, looked
meekly up Mt him and said it."
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14

for the smaller flsh thai play around
the surface of the water. They are
fairly clever in catching what they
want, and they throw out their bill.
with considerable precision when they
gig for game. But they never get to
bat what they catch until they have fed
Mt least one and maybe more than one
member of another kind of water fowl.
"Whenever shag begins to catch
fish, long legged, long necked water
hen will take a place Immediately be
hind him. When the shag lands fish,
the water hen simply reaches over and
gets 1t. Without any show Of resent
ment and without turning around, the
shag will continue its watch for fish,
and this is kept up until the water hen
has finished meal, and then, If no
other enterprising member of the same
tribe comes along, the shag is permit
ted to enjoy the product of its own
sleepy efforts.
81 have on one occasion seen one shag
feed as many as three water hens be-
fore eating single fish. 1t is certain
ly singular display of stupidity, and
after having watched the performance
a number of times am convinced that
the shag is actually too dull to even
know that the water hen stands be
hind him to steal the fish out of his
mouth."-New Orleans Times-Demo.
crat
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14
A winning Touch.

OarlluS.
The strong, manly voice was low and
intense as the handsome face bent
over the fair, bowed head by the fire.
Darling" he went Oh eagerly, 'there
are others here observing us. must
see you a moment Alone"
For an instant the listener was quiet,
and not a curl stirred on the lofty
brow. Then the blue eyes We're raised
to the beseeching dark ones.
Eyes, what is it?" was the low reply.
I-well"-
A slight red flush mantled the neck
and cheeks Of the speaker, In striking
contrast to the cool, calm dignity dis
played in every movement Of the half
reclining figure in the big plush chair.
"The fact is" he went on, mastering
up courage, the first embarrassment
giving place to little more self con-
tidence, 81 have come to ask you some
thing never expected would pass my
lips, especially after the last sum I
borrowed from you. Darling, will you
lend me $1O?"
Jack Darling laid aside his paper. :,
"Of course, old man." he cried hearth
ly. Lets first get a drink" And the
two passed out of the clubroom togeth-
er.-San Francisco News Letter.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14

A lady was recently reading to her
young son the story of n little fellow
whose father was taken Ill and died,
after which he set himself diligently
to work to assist in supporting himself
and his mother. When she had finished
the story, she said:
"Now, Tommy, if pa were to die,
wouldn't you work to keep mammaT
"Why, no." said the little chap, not
relishing the idea of work. "What for?
Amt we got good house to live int"
ooh, yes, my dear" said the mother,
"but we can't eat the house, you know"
well, amt we got plenty of things
in the pantry?" continued the young
hopeful.
Certainly, DEAR" replied the mother,
"but they would not last long, and
what then?"
"Well, ma" said the young incorrlgl-
BILE after thinking moment, "ain't
there enough to last till you get anoth-
err husband?"
Ma gave 1t up.-London Answers.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14


'sThen you--you-have married no.
body recently, take it!' gasped the
earl.
mot likely! There is too much mon
ey in the cycle business for me to
bother about marrying people l send
them off to neighboring minister"
"NNill you excuse me If I bid you
good morning?" stammered his lord
ship.
Delighted to have you do So" re-
piled the registrar
This brings me to the conclusion of
the episode set out to relate, and all
that now remains for me to do is to
marry off every one of my characters,
after the manner of accomplished
story tellers, thus avoiding the exam
pie set me by the money making regis
trar. The particulars of the Gwendo-
len saddle was printed in most Of the
leading English papers as reading mat
ter, but paid for as an advertisement
by the talented Gillooley and swallow
ed rs real news by gullible public,
who subscribed the capital of the new
company five times over. The lnforma-
ton was cabled to America, and in the
New York papers Lord de Benture
Barbarrybush read that Lady Gwen
dolen, only daughter of the Earl of
Stobcross, had become possessed of
$2,500,000. AS his lordship was at
that moment in negotiation with a
stocllbroker who would only give ST.
100000 with his girl and that largely
conditional on the success of the wheat
corner. Lord de Benture Immediately
sailed for home and told Gwendolen
that he had been in America merely
| to learn the best route to- Klondike,
which was quite true. He found what
he sought by marrying Gwendolen ut
the parish church. John A. Biggs ulti-
mately welded the grocer's daughter,
Hannah Sprowle, after the great sad
die company had gone into liquida-
ton. The stubborn old Earl of Stob-
cross, who had been widower for
90 years, refuses to allow me to unite
him to any one and says he doesn't
care hang whether my story is I'M
popular or not on that account. Old
Peter was married already, as he
found out to his cost after the episode
have related, when his irate wife
nearly broke his head for being such
a fool us to interfere in business that
did not concern him and thus offend
Lady Gwendolen and lose all chance
of getting a share of her money.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14
Immedinte1x Suspicious.

"Why did you terminate your inter-
view with that professional politician
SO abruptly?" asked the confidential
man.
Gle made me suspicious at the out
set" said Senator Sorghum. II don't
care how much prevarication my u.s.
sistants use toward other people, but I
want them to be frank and honest with
me. The first thing that man did was
to tell me falsehood. He said he was
working from disinterested motives
and didn't want money! Washington
Star,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1901-08-14
The wor,d,. snac..

A statistcian asserts that when $50
years shall have passed the density of
the earth's population will be so great
that each person will have only two
thirds of an acre, which space will
have to suffice for all purposes-agri.
culture, roads, houses, parks, railways.
etc. He estimates the present popula-
ton Of the earth ut 1,GO0,0OOo0O and
says that In 2250 it will be 52,073, OOO,-
OOO