Waterbury Democrat., 1901-01-24
Mr. Jobson's Gas Bill


 progress of dinner he told Mrs Job son that while he was out for his lunch at noon he had seen a woman the sort he wanted Mrs. Jobson to get, and he said that he'd write a check and let ner go down town and order the suit on the morrow. He also told Mrs. Jobson that, if she intended to have her sealskin made over, she'd better be having the job done before the furriers got into their rush sea- son, and when Mrs. Jobson remarked that she could have the work done beautifully for $50, he told her that he'd write her a check for that amount, too, as soon as ne finished dinner. As he got up from the din- ner table he noticed the months gas bill lying on the dining-room mantel- piece. He picked it up and stared at it, a cloud gathering on his brow.
 ''Seven dollars and forty cents again this month"; he exclaimed, gazing at Mrs. Jobson. .suspiciously, and all of his ability departed. Look a-here, Mrs. Jobson, will you be good enough to explain to me the meaning of this?'
 Why" replied Mrs. Jobson, "there's nothing to explain, except that the bill really does seem a trif1e higher than it ought to be, authough, you know, lot of the cooking this month has been done on the gas range, and-''
 'Trife higher than it ought to be-'Cooking on the gas range!'" snorted Mir. Jobson. ''What kind of an explanation is that? ou haven't been cooking for a couple O hundred hired men, have you? You haven'' been getting meals for four or five regiments of cavalry on the gas range during the psst month, have you? Or do you light all the gas range burners before you go to bed at night and let 'em burn all night, just for the sake of trying to find out how much gas you can consume inside of month? Do you light all the jets in the house during my absence and let 'em blaze away full tilt just for the purpose off,"
 'Now, you perfectly we'll know that I don't do anything Of the sort" in- terrupted Mrs. Jobson, good-natured- ly. 'There may be something the mat tCI WILL GuC ibClC1. "ly uOu you drop by the gas office on your way down town tomorrow morning and ask to have one of the gas inspectors sent up to look at the meter? I think I have detected slight smell of gas coming from the meter for some time past. You pay the gas in> spector a fee of 50 cents, you know, to have him look at the meter, and if he finds that the meter is defec- tive he refunds you the 50 cents, call culates how much you have overpaid on your bill owing to the defective meter, and the gas company refunds you the amount. If the inspector finds that the meter is all right he keeps the 50 cents. I think it would pay to have our meter examined" ,-
 MT. Jobson scrutinized Mrs. Jobson while she was making this, speech as if she were some newly discovered species of armadillo.
 Do you mean to tell me-" he said. when she had finished, "that you actually take any stock in that beau tiful dream? Dye positively believe, way down deep in you, at your time O life, that any gas company that was ever organized to pay dividends ever vet refunded any real, sure-enough money to it's compulsory consumers? Is it possible that you swallow that aged fairy tale about government gas inspectors calculating customers losses due to defective meters, and gas ccmpan nies going down into their jeans to repay"
 Well" ventured Mrs. Jobson, sI know that Mrs. Kaystreet had the meter in their house examined last month, and she got back"
 "She got two or three hundred shares of preferred stock in the gas company, s'pose you're going to tell me-" interrupted Mir. Jobson "If you believe sll the fantasies that Mrs. : ~Kaystreet tells you you'll find your self-but seven dollars and 40 cents worth of gas for an eight-room house that's what gets me around the neckband!" looking at the bill again, and getting madder over it the long CT he looked at it. q don't intend to stand for it, that's all; I'll just quit using gas, that's what Ill do! I'll TO down to the gas office the first thing in the morning and tell lem to turn of the gas at this plant. I'm willing to submit to any reasonable extortlon, but don't propose to sub- init to daylight sandbagging like this. I won't-'
 "But," put in Mrs. Jobson, we've got to have light, you know, and the gas fenge is su handy for cooking x , ~ ells TT sseat what vesvs'