davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

A Passion for Knowledge.
"What an abnormal thirst for knowl-
edge your son seems to have"
Eyes; every now and then he lets go
of good job, just to see what will
happen next."-Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
One Note Within Reach.

One N0te "Ith16 H&1cn.
"Speaking of singing" exclaimed the
nightingale, sneeringly, ''of what
earthly use are you? You couldn't
touch a high note in thousand years. -
"Oh, don't know" replied the bird
Of paradise. I'm likely to be en-
balmed on bonnet some day, and then
I'll make $50 note look like 30 cents. -
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

Patrons Of the Bicycle.
Clerks and the clergy are the most
numerous patrons Of the bicycle. Teach.
srs are also great patrons of the wheel.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
The WAYS OF Men.

The pessimistic boarder frowned
Because his piece of pie was small;
The optimistic boarder smiled
To think they'd any pie at all.
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
Inconsistency.

'fWho is that man over there with the
white, scared face?' ..
"That's the fellow we met at the funeral
yesterday, who was telling the wife of the
deceased to cheer up-that her husband was
better off,"
"What is the matter with him now?"
"Ihe doctor told him he was going to
die."-Indianapolis Sun.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
The Power Of Love.

Briggs-What does love amount to
compared to money?
Grigg~A good deal. Why, couldn't
get any rich girl to marry me if she
didn't love me.-TOWn Topics.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

Adolph-Ain't nary key that will
unlock it.
Eddie Eugene-Well, then, all We
can do now is to wait until mamma
comes home, and ask her for piece
for being good boys.-Golden Days.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
During the Honeymoon.

The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts,
Which, being quite inept, she
Did give unto the King Of Hearts,
Who ate-and got dyspepsia.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
Strong COmpulsiOn,

II have compelled my wife to cease
strumming on the piano." said Mr..
Goldsborough to Mr.. Bunting.
"How did you manage it?"
II insisted upon singing every time
she began to play."-Judge.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

Why She Shed Tears.
"Why do you weep?" I said,
For tears were in her eyes;
She looked up timidly-
Quite taken by surprise.
Then, through her falling tears,
A tender smile revealing,
She simply pointed to
The onions she was peeling.
-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

up a sign Offering his farm for sale that he
comes into an adequate sense of the i'm
portance of learning in youth just which
way the printed letter s crooks.-Detroit
journal.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

4 City without q Lawyer.
The city of Downs, Kan, has moro
than 1000 inhabitants, among whom
there is not a single lawyer.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
The Ne Plus Ultra.

Edith-Our butler is dignifed
enough to be lord mayor of London!.
: Ethel-1s that all?: Why, our butler
is dignified enough to be the lord
mayor Lond0n's bntlerl-Puck. !
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
A Feminine Reason.

IF he was not your idol, why did
you marry him?"
because so many of the girls
seemed to want him.''-ChicaRo Post.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
One ON the Clerk.

0ue OH tne O1SEAs
He thrust the sealed letter through the
window and put down two,cents..
"Well, what do you want?" asked the
stamp clerk gruff1y.
can automobile, please" he replied,
sweetly.--Philadelphi North American.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
A Wife Who Bites.

William Leedy, of Pound Gap, Va,
has sued his wife, Clarissa, for di-
vorce, charging that she bit one of his
ears and q finger of.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
WILLING TO OBL1GE.

Benevolent Old Man-Now, I hops
you won't spend this dime for horrible
liquor.
Beggar-No, sir! I'll ask for the
best he's got.-Chicago Chronicle.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
HAndicanned.

Hbbe. ! never; hear you mabe any fun
Weal, no; you see, she belongs to 90
many cooking clubs that l do good deal
Of tie home cooking myself" ."-Iudia
Journal :, ~
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
FPean.

"What's new?" asked Borem, then to make
Himself at home commenced,
The patient man replieds ''That paint
You're leaning up against"
PHILADELPHIA Press.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
Running 1t Into the Ground.

"Come DOWN." said the pile driver.
"Seeing you have the drop on me"
replied the pile, II will."- Chicago
Tribune.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

'Ehve you been taking chocolates
out of my box?"
II don't know; I couldn't see, be-
cause I kept my eyes shut.-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

. A great, big, overgrown book agent a.
thing e|se.-Washinston Dcmoczat,
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
Had Nothiue Good to say.

Had Nothing Good to Say.
He-I've just been dancing with
Miss Sharp. She was talking about
you.
She (indignantly)-Was she? The
nasty, spiteful thing!-Tit-Bita. *
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
just q Swallow.

The Herring-You have difficulty in
speaking? 49,. &,
The Trout-Yes; there is a frog in
my throat.--C Chicago Daily News. :.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
Not the Genuine Article.

'@That girl is only an imitation Bos"
ton girl"
"What makes you think SOP"
"She says whom to- instead of to
whom '"-Detroit Free Press,
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
A Limited Supply.

She said she meant to speak her mind,
And wouldn't take much time to do it:
The other said, with sneer unkind,
1t wouldn't take long If she kneWit
Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
Brief Notes.

brle1 Notes.
Encouraged to action by the ruling
of the supreme court upholding the
constitutionality of the Jones wine
room ordinance, the St. Paul people
will begin at once to agitate for the
adoption of similar measure in that
city.
James Anderson was instantly killed
by John Carver, who shot at a rabbit.
Anderson was getting wood when the
shot was fred.
The servant girls of Minneapolis
propose to form a union.
Mrs. Matilda Helstrom, who dubbed
her daughter to death in Minneapolis,
has been committed to the insane asy.
lum at St. Peter.
Detroit City had fire which de.
stroyed several of its best buildings.
Loss, $40, 500; insurance. $6,so0.
The new city council of Redwood
Falls raised the liquor license from
$500 to 500 for the year 1901.
The Lake Carriers association has
withdrawn it's objection to the sus-
pended cable transfer bridge which it
is proposed to erect at Duluth.
All the smallpox patients at St.
Cloud have recovered and there are
now no known cases of the disease in
that city.
Frontenac was visited by q $1,000
fire.
Aslak and Even Heldal father and
son, have been adjudged insane by
Judge of Probate Ole Hagen at Crooks
ton and removed to the asylum at Fer
gus Falls. Two years ago Elling Hell.
dal, a son of Aslak, became insane and
pierced his heart with pair of scis.
sors.
81 Donnelly, St. Paul, was ap-
pointed speciak administrator of hia
father, 1gnatius Donnelly.
Joe Klacetsky. II years of age, living
In st. Paul. is at the city hospital suf-
fering from a rifle wound in his left
hip. while Theodore Shipp. 10 years
old, is charged with assault with a
dangerous weapon. The boys had
trouble with another crowd over their
respective headquarters along the Mil
waukee tracks, and Winchester rifle
was brought into use.
John Schmidt's brewry at Lake City
was destroyed by fire.
The new Presbyterian church 1T
Winnibego City costing 81, 900 was
dedicated with appropriate ceremon.
les. ,s.@s' ,%''s1 - ~, =,
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25
No Prize Fights.

Minneapolis will have no Prize
fights. In fact, no part of Minnesota
will have any prize fighting so long as
there is state law prohibiting it, for
Gov. Van SAINT has set his seal Of dis
approval upon the sport.
The Cincinnati Post, realizing that
the Jeffries-Ruhlin fight might br ore
vented in Ohio, wired the governor,
asking if the battle could be pulled off
in Minnesota. The governor was very
prompt in sending his reply, which
said:
'Jeffries and Rubin will not be al
lowed to fight in Minnesota. No prize
fights in the state while am COVER
nor"
The Worthington advance., 1901-01-25

"Why does Mrs. Clubman refer to her
husband as her lamp?
because he smokes and goes out
nights" s."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
PIod Less. plan More.

: -s
The whole gain Of our civilization
and of Womans highest welfare lies
in making the present need bend to
the future requirement, in accept
ing present loss for future gain, in
taking long and longer chances.
We women need surely to study
these duties more scientifically,
more as a whole, instead Of this dali
" whiting away Of our lives over
the separate parts.
The great object Of life is life
restful, strong, bene6cent and we
women who desire earnestly "the
best things" for ourselves and our
households must do less plodd ing
and more planning, less sacrificing
and more intelligent. contriying;; we
must have less guesswork and more
accurate knowledge. We need to
grid ourselves daily for climb to
the shrinking levels z where we may
feel the cool breath Of heaven and
receive inspiration from the larger
view. Stilletta Patton Burke in Wo-
mans Home G Companion.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
How to Arrange Wild. flowers.

The natural grace and beauty Of
wild flowers render them very eff
fective for decorative purposes, and
now that the pretty, shy blossoms
are beginning to appear in field and
in wood these floral visitants of the
spring. will find a welcome place on
the family dining table or in the
formal scheme Of decoration for
milady's spring luncheon.
Wild flowers charm by what is APP
parently an unstudied arrangement,
but underlying this pretty simplici-
ty- is a strict adherence to the Laws
Of beauty.
A safe rule is to avoid mixtures
while securing variety by the aid Of
foliage. Choose only one or a few
kinds of flowers at a time and
take care that they are either of
striking form OF color. In grouping
them let there be ease and lightness
Of arrangement. Crowded flowers
in a mass are fatal to artistic effect.
Formally can be avoided by the ju-
dicious intermingling of grasses and
sprays of leaves and By choosing
blossoms of different form and size
to be placed together.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
Hints on Controlling odors That Arise
In the Kitchen,

Hints on Controlling Odors That Arise
In the Kitchen.
Odors are subtle, Withal searching.
In dealing with those in the kitchen
an ounce of prevention is worth at
least a ton Of cure. The heavy
smell Of stale grease, most cinging
and most offensive Of al, comes
more than anything else from slop-
ping or sputtering over, which q
very little care in range manage
ment prevents. The acrid smell Of
burned or scorched things is posi-
lively painful so much SO that q
cooks first lesson ought to be that
fire was given for cooking, not burn
ing. Leaving unwashed pots and
steWpans to dry and simmer on the
range is q fruitful source Of 81
odors easily remedied. Dissolve two
pounds Of washing soda in q gallon
Of boiling water and keep bottle Of
it handy. AS you empty cooking
vessels pour in. soda water an inch
deep, shake it well all around the
sides and leave It until washing
time. IF the pots and pans keep
warm, SO much the better. The
soda will. do its work more perfectly.
Onions, turnips and all the cab
bage tribe, which smell to heaven,
may have their scent somewhat
abated BY care in the boiling, The
odor comes from their essential oils,
which volatile. If the vegetables
are prepared some hours before they
are wanted and left to soak in weak,
cold water, rinsed and put over the
fire in fresh cold water they throw
up this essential oil largely in the
form Of scum. Let them come to a
boil before putting in the salt and
skim very clean. After the salt is
in add q dash Of cold water. IT win
throw up q second scum, which must
be removed at once, Cook all such
vegetables uncovered. Alidstrength-
ems the odor tenfold and makes it
more offensive.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
why Flowers Bloom ana Birds sina

Why Flowers Bloom and Birds sing,
The old comfortable belief Of our
forefathers that the flowers and fruits
and all the good. things Of the earth
were created for their benefit has been
completely shattered by science. The
shining gold Of April celandine, the
scent Of white violets, are not FOR as at
all, says science, not even for the in
sects that come to them for honey, but
just for the sake Of the flowers them
selves, which must get cross fertilized
or die out. Self, self only, is the bed
rock Of It all So the violets are not
fragrant for us. and the thrush was
not made to sing on our account, but
to charm his mate, and the stars do not
shine 30 as to light our way through
the wood and across the wild on noon
less nights.
Fortunately this discovery need not
take away our appetite for the feast
which is spread out. We need have no
more conjunction in coming to 1t un-
invited than has the bee or the moth
in slipping the nectar Of the blossom.
M e. -
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
a ,PossIbIe substitute.

Saccharine tablets find a place on
many tea trays almost as regularly
al the cubes of sugar. The taste tor
their sweetening properties has e
Be acquired, but once that is estabr
lished they are found to be q salts
factory substitute for persons e
whom sugar Is FORBIDDEN.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
!, THE COLD SPARE BED.

When you have friend to visit You, il she BE- q
welcome guest,
You will try to make her happy, and you'll give
her of your best;
You'll tell her all the story Of your varied house.
hold cares, ~ sE
And everlastingly you'll pirate about your own
affairs;
But whatever else you do, don't, for heavens
sake, be led
To put that helpless woman in the cold spare
bed!
You may tell her of your troubles with your nu.
merous hired girls
And what ''she said' and what 81 said' till her
understanding whirls;
You may talk Of the servant question till the set
ting moons last CLEAN
And begin again next morning on the same old
tiresome theme; YEA
But whatever else you do, don't, for heavens
sake, be led
To put that helpless woman In the cold spare
bedl @ IT,
You may tell her Of your pains and aches and
what the doctor said
That time you came near dying with neuralgia in
your head;
OF how you poured down bitters and drops and
patent pills
When you caught the dread malaria and had such
awful chills; ~
You may bore her, you may weary her. till she
wishes she were dead, q. "
But, for heavens sake, don't put her In the cold
spare bedi
New England Farmer.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08
His Line.

{ Bishop Olarkson of Nebraska, known
and well beloved throughout the west,
was accustomed to carry his fitments
in an ordinary travelling. case.
On one of his journeyings he was APP
preached by travelling man, who,
mistaking him for q fellow dFummers
asked, HsWhat. do you carry?"
70 which the dear man replied, with
indescribable good fellowship, 'I.awn!"
-Exchange,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1901-06-08

1t may even be that we, nke Iney, 10
render unconscious1y some return sfor
benefits. received. Saturday Review. Z.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1901-04-18

The Chicago Inter. Ocean figures 1t
out that an increase OF few cents in
the price per bushel of corn or wheat
means great deal to tho farmers Of
the country. The wheat crop Of the
United States in 1900 was 522, 229, sos
bushels. falling off from the crop OF
1880 Of 25,074, 34l bushels; hut the
average farm price Of wheat in 1900
was 3. cents per bustel higher than in
1899. This made the smaller crop Of
1900 worth nearly $1,000, 900 more than
the larger crop Of 1899
the four largest ever gathered, being
., l05, 1o2, Sic bushels. Tho price was
8. A cents per bushel more than in 1899,
and the aggregate value of the corr
crop was 1922, 0O0,0 900 more last year
than in the previous year. The oat
crop of 1900 was one of tho largest on
record, being estimated ut 500, l25, $50
bushels, The barley crnr was IS, 925, S33
bGshels; rye, %, 995, 1927 bushels; po.
taioos 3l0,926, s97 bushels, and hay,
50, / 10, BOG tons.
The hay crop vas the smallest, with
one exception, since 1883, but the
avearge price was SO per ton, as
compared with 1927 PER ton in 1899,
so that the value of tho hay CROP in
1900 was s4i5, 53s. s7s, or s33, 600, 600
more than the larger crop of 1899 The
total value of the eight STABLE farm
products in 1900 was 81, 1861, 4GG, $50, an
increase of SPAS, i30, 29s over the value
OF the same eight products in 1899
Our exports of wheat in 1900 were
about 10000, 900 bushels loss than in
1899, and less in value by about
sll.000,000. But in wheat flour there
was gain 10 value of over -, 0CO. QUO,
and the gain in exports CT corn was
about 81, 100000. There is increased
interest in American corn in nearly all
European countries, and there certainly
is increased use Of cora in this country
as an article of food. The corn belt is
constantly en- srging, and, while the
average yield in the country at large is
only Nenty soven bushels ger acre, it
has been increased in many localities,
through study Of soil and method of
agriculture, TO more than eighty
bushels per acre
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1901-04-18
ADDlCKSITES AND THE PATRONAGE.

Delaware Democrat, April l9th.
The Regular Republicans and the Ad.
dicks men should have some compass
sion upon MIR. Mckinley and not worry
him SO continually con efning Della.
ware patronage. He has troubles of his
own which they know nothing of that
should keep him fiom being restored
about the local patronage in small
State With only three electoral votes.
There is too much for Him aud Mark
Hanna to attend to 10 this vast country
without b.tharing themselves about a
State with only thrte counties and o
population large enough Tor only one
Congr easman.
II all reports are true, Ohio will give
them some trouble in the near future
and the we'll known bosses In some of
tho other States have seen their prime
and will soon PASS into obscurity.
Troub GUS times are ahead of them, aud
the people are getting tired Of the way
things are going on, when they are not
consulted but affairs are left altogether
10 the hands of IA few persons for man
agement.
During the last session Of the Gen /.
eral Assembly the administration made
its wants distinctly known to Addcks
and his men. 1t called for the with q.
drawal of the gasman from the sena =.
torial contest and The Union Of tho two
wings Of the Republican party upon two
men who could receive majority of
The votes. What was the reply to this
by the Unions? Not only did they re-
fuse to combine with the Regulars, but
they would not nominate oue of AID.
dicksfriends with himself, tearing that
the Regulars would elect the second
man, and then with more reason claim
the other senatoiship as their owa. The
Unions, therefore, continued to vote
for Addicks for both the long and the
short term, determined not to lose in
the fight for Addicks aud let the other
senatorship take care OF itself. No
wonder tho Regulars fought to the
bitter end this extreme ssltishness and
were willing that two vacancies should
occur rather than have two Senators,
IL one Of them was to be Addicks.
Nothing WAS done by the latter to con.
ciliate the administration or its friends
in this State, but he hurled defiance at
the Washington authorities and at
tempted to conquer victory by lis
millions Of money. Though he carried
the State where his forces and the
Regulars were combined, he failed to
win in places where they were not
united. Hence it is that Mckinley
sees the necessity of both factions Join
ing If they would win hereafter, and
blaines Addicks for refusing to with
draw when it would have been followed
by success last winter
Notwithstanding this fatal mistake,
the adherents of Addicks are still en-
treating him to give them the spoiIs of
ofiice that he may have to distribute
here, in place of dispensing any patron
aga TO the Regulars, who were ready at
any time to obey his will. The infinite
gall of the proceeding is at once appar.
emit to all, and no wonder that the Presi-
dent and Senator Hanna refused to &C.
cede to their demand.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1901-04-18

Referring to the appointment, by
President Mckinley of OK Congressman
kodenberg as member uf the Civil
Service COMMISSIONS man who, as n
member of Congress, voted to ''starve
out tine commission" by refusing to
make an appropriation for its support
- Outlook says:
We must regard the appointment as
distinct notice to the country by the
President that the President does not
behave in the Civil Service act, that
he does not dssire TO sea it enforced,
that he approves of legislation the OBJ
lect of which is to impair il not destroy
Its efficiency When the President no.
points TO the Civil Service Commission
a man whose only Official act, so far as
known, in respect to that commission
Is an attempt to destroy its efficiency,
the country has right 10 assume that
the President means to do what he can
by executive action to make the act in
eltcieent; and, unhappily, this conclu-
sion is confirmed by other acts of the
adm inistration.
This is severe arraignment, but, un.
fortunately, a true one 1t is no way
to advance good cause by putting an
enemy TO that cause in its oliiciary.
Had President MoKinIey been sincerely
IN favor of Civil Service Reform he
would have selected a friend of that
movement as a member of the commits
sion, not an enemy. Such 40 appoint.
ment as that of Rodenburg, made with
a full Knowledge of his attitude,
can only be construed as deliberate
attempt on the part Of the President to
cripple Civil Service Refot m instssd of
aiding it.
As to Rodenburg, 1t is hard to find
words severe enough for man who
would accept position of this kind
after doing all in his power, as mem.
Der OF Congress, to belittle it. His
course can be explained only upon the
hypothesis that, like most Congress.
men out Of a job, I" he is willing to ac-
cept anything that will give him liy !.
ing out of the public treasury.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1901-04-18
NEWARK TOWN COUNCIL.

Special Correspondence OF Gazette and Journal.
Newark, April 1.-THE Town Coun-
Gil elected the following officers last
night: s. b. Herdman, secretary and
treasurer; jacob Shew, superintendent
of the water and light station; Joseph
Cunningham, engineer at the water
and light station; S. b. Herdman.
collector OF water and light rsnts;
Charles g. King, assessor; Alexander
Perry, supervisor OF streets; George
Medil, alderman John Chalmers. town
bailiff.
The following committees were ap.
pointed: Water and light, J. z. Wilson,
DIR. j. b. Butler and Elmer Thompson
streets. Ira Mclaughlin, William II.
Steele and Joseph Luton town build
ings, William II. Steele. Joseph Luton
and Ira Mclaughlin.
Pref. W. Fl Bishop. DIR. Il. W.
Manning, DIR. H. q. NJ. KolloolS, DR..
Il. r. Wolf and Benjamin Campbell
were elected members OF the Board OF
Health.