The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1901-07-26

This Mans WIFE Is an InfaIIibls
Authority on weather PrOBa-
bIIIties, Says He.

''TaIk about your barometers, rheU-
matism, gOurdss gOosebones and corns
as weather prognOstieatOrs," said the
man who knows, relates the New Or
leans Times, "they are not IN it, when
it comes to weather predictions, with
the hair OF my wife. I would rather
have her promise as to weather any
time than that Of Capt. Blythe or the
best and luckiest weather bureau OBJ
server who ever engaged in the predict
ing or weather forecasting business.
For years have taken her advice as
to what the weather would be during
the day, and for years have dressed
and prepared myself accordingly.
Long ago I found out that my wife
spoke truthfuIly when she told me
rain would fail, or that the day would
be fine, and she never made mistake
once in a hundred times. I accused
her of al sorts Of things, such as hav-
ing rheumatism, a goosebOne, and al
manacs, and advised her to 60 to a
chiropOdist, for imagined 1t was by
her feet that she was able to truth
fully foretell the weather.
During all these years have been
guided by her, and, when she tells me
IN the morning that rain viii fan,
wear dark clothes and carry an UNI
brella, and I find have use for it be-
fore I return home at night. On her
promise that the day would be fine
have invariably worn light clothes
and left my umbrella at home, and I
have never found that had use for it.
a shower may fall during the day,
but the sun always comes after 1t,
and that is the nearest my wife has
missed truthfully forecasting the
weather. But she was never able to
tell what the weather would be except
for Il hours, and she would never risk
her reputation by making predictions
for longer than that. And her pre-
dictiOns were always for the day only
and never for the night, and often
when we went out at night we were
caught unprepared by rain. On these
occasions frequently twitted my wife
with being a false prophet, or rather
u bad one, but I could never get her to
venture a prediction on the weather
at night.
''All these years the matter has been
a great mystery to me, and I was never
able to fathom 1t; but few days ago
she explained how she was able to so
closely tell what the weather would
be during the day, and her explanation
of the matter was so simple that I
wondered why the solution Of what I
thought a mystery, or the possession
of second sight on my wife's part, had
never occurred to me before. Like
many other women, my Wife'S hair IS
not curly, and, ike many other WON
en-, she puts IL up in curl papers, or
kids, when she retires at night, and
brushes 1t out curly In the morning.
When her hair. energies from the curl
papers damp, dank, sticky and heavy,
she knows there viii be rain, and
plenty Of it, before night; when it is
a trlhe damp, she knows tn ere viii be
showers or some rainfall, but not
real rainy day; when she br ushes out
her hair ard IT is dry. light a nd fluffy,
she knows TO a certainty that the day
viii be fine one; and then she makes
her predictions with great assurance
and earnestuess, and have seldom
found her wrong. I suppose other
mems wives can tell in advance the
weather by the condition of their hair,
but my wife's hair is better for this
purpose than any barometer I have
ever known