Evening star., 1901-07-06
THESE MAKE YOU HOTTER

OF the many persons whose appearance
and manner cause you to feel an appre-
ciable number of degrees warmer than
the temperature warrants the following
are q few:
The male person who wears handker-
chief around his neck, either In place of a
cellar or swaddIing the top Of his collar.
The very sight Of this man has a caloric
effect He is generally fat and apoplectic
looking. The handkerchief which he twines
about his neck Is invariably as moist and
ciammy looking as an eel just yanked onto
the grass. First, he takes one hand to
it and then the other, and then he pulls
and hauls at 1t with both hands. and with
all his might. While doing this he ejacu-
lates "Phew. with a terrible whistling
effect. Every once in a while he removes
the handkerchief, refolds it and replaces
1t with all of the iabored effort OF piano
mover operating on a long stairway. When
he uses a silk handkerchief the imposition
upon a heated world Is all the worse, al
though this person rather fancies the silk
handkerchief a pretty fine and ornamental
article. You may be as cool as the petals
of tuberose, but II you are compelled
to view-from behind him in an open car,
ssy-one of these Shouls, with handker-
chief around his neck for the space of four
minutes. you will feel as If the simoons of
the Sahara were blowing upon you.
The housewife with a towel around her
head sweeping and dusting and banging
the furniture around as If she had but ten
more minut-s to reside on this earth, will
contribute largely to your warmth these
days. II she is your own wife, you can sit
in the other room and say sarcastic things
to her. but II she isn't your wife your only
recourse lies In flight. This housewife with
the towel around her head can elevate the
Fahrenheit of any normal human being at
least twelve degrees in half as many min
utes simply by obtruding herself upon the
view But she is merciless. She flouts
through the rooms like the month Of March
and the vengeance she takes out of the
parior furniture with the handle of the
feather duSter Is something dreadful to
contemplate. She is one of the very hottest
things of the hot season, is the housewife
with the towel around her head. and she
generally completes the job by wearing q
req calico wrapper. which. to the over
neated imagination, suggests one of these
skirtdancers going through the fire gyra-
IONS. ha AFTER three hours of assault and
battery on the unoffending furniture and
carpets. during which time she has lost at
ieaSt three pounds. she flops into a chair
ueclares that she's almost melting, SO she
Is: ana II queer that nobody sympathizes
with her in her shaving life, SO It is. You
cou,o never convince her that dust, yea.
mud two foot Deep were better than the
M oenip ure-holsting effect created by her
own lnexplicable conduct
The fussy woman with the futter,po 70,
III puoiic places has caused countless thou
sahos to mourn. A French statisticIa, go;
a,.s h, ,..s lhat tne unnecessary energy used M
~ women with fans all over the world In
ane IN course Of a summer amounts to "a s,,7 >,
oo1.ooo 90 morse power, which Is far moro than
iIuicient i"t TO move all the marine engines
world for s,a ahe ne stationary engines of the
l! there Is only one fussv ,ror ~,
f.at t "a. a. social gathering, watch tho ar
ans .aal sne creates upon all present Tho
bound ,o Ian, IAN nypnotizes EN-. and they are
IT md
80 49, the accretion of furnace.like b.a4
mantle mantle over their frames bv leans rS
cabhssa a Ian aney may all look as cool as
the m ran does the Job for tben, an n,.I with
aho,.t minutes of her they are thinting
ath apoue .he cold tubs and strong drink anS
otner desperate measures. iA anu
TO-. ut; oLce mate who coatless and yas+
less' sits at his desk all dav swaariu,s,
in Ln,y II softly at the heat can MAKE yo,,
in 8 @ nor ureenland's icy mountains with
xo,rsa1f aefy snort space of time. even if you
he writes fully four words With bin tnanRs' ,,a!
i; TT -, ,heIl III he leans back and save .p
has men he jumps up to go over and
teI,s d iook at the thermometer, and he
.eiis you that the things gone nm tbrae ne
anu one-half degrees since the lac t,,an anis t
tooked 1"oS' at It, Then he sits down at bis
uesh again, fans himself with a newsna ms
words anu t, remarks, after some more cuss
"oroS' that he wouldn't be hit sun
prlsed to see all heat records for The oo oor
..esPoholng day go in the course of The 49,.
nourS. Ihen he tells you what a Joh
ne hao sleeping last night, and wondoro
no" many new ambulances the E,maraana,,
Iiospltai has put into commission i5 ~
tioIpation OF heat prostrations. " Gil
1heh' aIter writing four more words ,na
IuiuIteFlns number Of additional darE
onnss ne wheels around in his chair and
1,oSs nno you II you are idiotic enough to SIM
Use that man has got to be ont in tho
sun 10 get sunstruck? No, stree. he saws
q man can be overcome by the heat-weli
suhstruck. as they call tat midnipht Instt
as well as he can at high noon ma JIse
once sat right next to a man in an a,H ntso ne
IeiioW Just about your size and hni,S =,
the way-who toppled over at his daSL
~ ~~nen II was cooler than this and who dIsS
liteen minutes after they got him to ~
hospital. There is only one +hina ~ 'he he
oone with an office mate like this 90 ~ 70
Is 10 gradually undermine him with ,,n'..
mutual superiors. Gradually worir hir,' o...
OF his Job. so that next summer von n,on,t Uut
nave him around. " WI"
me man with the black DERBY hat n,aL..
you feel hot these days. nat N'AAe'
ana tne stout, middle-aged woman NTH
d niack bonnet covered with popnies and
Gnerfies; Lae on the th street car, with a mar
ne. oashet puiged out with cabbaees and
SAT- Po1K and things like that
Ano tne Dixie scorcher in a red sweater.
Win MS shoulders hunched forward
And-worst, worst of alI-the ,,ttar oh
Ject imbecile who walks into ein Iii
ana hurls three fingers Of raw. red i,onnr
INTO MS frame-tush! phew!
Telegraphy and Invention.
nta