The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-05-10

bit hit -. the compla inant with fence
picket r. the judge asked. y.5s Because
SORE, o. didn't have time to- pull up a i
post" answered the accused! indian
apolis Press. a2sssf:#s.s N t. 80 :. 'ss I.
.a.:s Screen say, old man, how is Hob
son regarded in the navy? 5 Mareen -
Well,%Illsitell,> you; the; navy looks on
him as man who made his reputation
on collier and lost it on q; sn1a ok
Town Topics. '": 81 49, 49,
1--WE cannot consider. your story seri-
ously," wrote an, editor: to- an, author;
"you have killed your hero in. the mid
die of 1T. ~: 70 fwhich the author re-
piled: II killed him because lie made
me tired ed Current Literature. a.:
Bullying His. Wife: Jones-Dear me!
You say you often lay down theIlaw to
your wife; how do you gonabout it?
Bones Why, all you need is flrmneess;
I usually go into my study, lock the
door, and / Do - it through the k;eyhole.-
u Not to be Expected: Shopman-This
matches your sample perfectly, mad
am. Customer-1t certainly does; it
couldn't be closer Shopman-How
!! many ~ yards do you wish? Customer
oh! not any yet; you see, this is the;
very first shop I've tried! go. .. '4."
Mrs. Ondego (making a calD-I am
sorry to hear you are having trouble
with your cook. Mrs. Upjohn-Yes: l
shall have to let Serena co.. i didn't:
mind. her practicing on the piano now.
and then. but she wants to join our
golf Chicago Tribune
In the great corridor Of obscurity two
men. faced each other, "Give me the
wall" said one; II, sir, was once Vice
President" The other laughed de-
risive laugh. "Nonsensew he exclaim-
ed: 81 take precedence here am the
husband Of an authoress." life.
Teacher Jimmy, if you found eight
cen pennies and another boy should
take two-thirds of them away, what
would each Of you have? Jimmy-rd
have six pennies, and he'd have a good
thumpin' less he'd handed back the
rest Of 'em mighty quick Tit- Bits.
Strategy: Elder Sister-Mr. Billmore
said you were in the parlor long time
last night, but don't suppose you used
much gas. Younger Sister-The reason
you didn't see any burning. Emily, was
because Harold carelessly hung his hat
on the door knob Chicago Tribune "
Knew His Boy: Benson-Look here,
that boy OF, yours threw stone at me
just now, and barely missed me! Proud
Father-You say he missed you? Ben
son (angrily)-You heard what l said.
didn't you? Proud Father-Then it
couldn't have been my boy.-Tit-Bits.
Mamma-What makes you so sick?
| hope you haven't&been chewing tobac-,
co. Tommy-O-boo-hoo! No, mn'am.
Mammalian glad to hear that, but
what TOMMY was goin' to chew
it, but-boo hoo-I seen you comm an
swallowed it whole.-Philadelph
Record.
Kind of Bess: Ethel-Mamma told
me could stay in the parlor last night
while Mr.. Huggard was calling on sis
ter Bess. Elsie-Did she? Ethel-Yes.,
and it was great fun. We played
''blind-man's bluff" and they let me be
the blind man nearly all the time
Philadelphia Press.
"Don't you think the republic is in
danger?" asked one politician. "Of
course it isl answered the other; IF
it wasn't in danger how could we
statesmen come forward every election
and save it? And we're gong to keep
on coming forward and saving it until
the end of time. "-Washington Star.
Anxious Mother-Tommy, your teach
er says you are the poorest scholar in
your class. Tommy-That's nsthing.
1t is only because I don't answer all
the questions she is asking every day.
It isn't wise to tell all you know to
woman, even if she does happen to be
school acher.-Boston Transcript.
II own up, judge; hit him with
picket snatched from a fence, and he
curled up like a sick -, caterpillar"
"What@had he, done that tempted you
to commit this assault ?''n 'tJudge. he
was trying to figure ont to me how
much John D. Rockefeller's income was
minute, - Discharged: Cleveland
Plain Dealer. 80. ..,,,3,
First Lady Passenger-1fet that win
dow isn't opened this minute 4. know
shall die. 6: Second ditto--Wh no opened
that window? fit is not shut, i shall
die, Pm sure. = Philosophical Gent}e-
man Conductor, please keep that win
dow open till one Of these ladies dies.
then shut itfand give the. other an ops
portunity to quit this. vale Of tears.
Boston Transcript. an go s.
What He Wanted: 'Now," said the.
celebrated designer, who had been call
ed in by the new Millionaire to talk over
plans fol: q five-hundred- housand-d dol
Lar yacht, 1--WE have come TO an under:
standing concerning the size OF the.
craft, but what about the bulwarks5
and the hatchways p sBull-Worksr!'zz