The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1901-10-17

Ideal Lover 10 hs who CommasAs
His Wife's Or Sweetheart's Respect
and Admlratio0.
By Ella Wheeler Wilcox in Atlanta Con-
stitution.
What 10 the highest ideal Of mans
love for woman?
1t il . more difficult question to
answer than its companion-woman' S
ideal love for man-because woman
is more difficult being 10 satisfy in
the matter OF the affections than
man.
Given an orderly home. a we'll
supplied table and a tactful, cheerful
woman TO reign, and the average
man is content with bis domestic re-
lations. But emotional woman wants
moro than these conditions grant.
She wants continuous praise, . fire.
quently occurring touch Of ssuti-
ment. and even Misunderstanding
now and then. followed by q recon-
ciliation, is swestsr to her than q
monotony Of unexpressed satisfac-
tion.
The ideal lover takes into cons era
tion all these peculiarities of femi-
nine temperament, and adapts him.
sell to them in . reasonable degree.
Almost every woman, the most ar
dent wife by expatiating upon the
charms OF and romantic as well a.
the phlsgmatic, realizes at times the
maternal element in her love for .
man. 1t is this which aids her in
being his patient nurse in hours Of
illness, and his stimulus in times OF
dependency; and it is that lack Of
graver and more paternal element in
mans love which detracis from ito
ideality so often.
When he does possess it man 10
liable to overdo the matter, and to
become tho slave of his lady's hysteri-
cal moods, and to encourage her
weaknesses and selfish whims.
The lover who is at once kind,
sympathetic and masterful, is seldom
found, yet he alone illustrates the
highest order of love.
The ideal lover is he who COM
mands bis wife's or sweethesrt's re-
spect and admiration, together with
her love; who makes her realize that
his standards of womanhood and of
life are high. and that the expects
her to do her part toward maintain
ing them, and who is capable OF
drawing = fine line between devotion
and servility.
The ideal lover of each sex is net 4
slave, or coward.
The moment those elements enter
into love, its standard il certainly
lowered.
l once heard a wife say that she
would not live with a man who told
her he thought another woman beau
tlful. She felt that his love for her
should blind his eyes to the beauty Of
all others. The man loved his wife,
but while his lips were silent on the
subject OF others charms. his iurtivs
glances Of admiration often bespoke
the sentiments of his mind.
That mans love was not ideal,
since it lacked tho courage to make
his wife understand how she belittled
herself in the eyes.
The ideal lover does not entertain
bis other women for hours, but hs
does express his respectful admira-
ton on occasions.
He strives to bring out the very
best and noblest qualities in the wo-
man whom he has chosen for his life
mate, and to aid her in developing
into q perfect womanhood. He is
her friend and her protector as we'll as
her lover and her admirer. He looks
Dat for her best interests, but he
never forgets that she has IN individ-
aality of her own which is to be re-
spected and considered. She is his
nate and his companion, not his
chattel or his servant.
She is to be advised and guided,
but not commanded or coerced.
The highest type Of lover realizes
thst a woman has . spirit and = soul.
IS well as q body.
The man who hides . woman away
and tries to keep her from all associ-
ation with her kind, and all pleasures
not directly bestowed by him, 10 not
IN ideal lover. however madly he
adores her
His love savors too much of that
Of the bear, who carries the lamb to
its cave to devour it at leisure.
Neither is that the highest type Of
love which encourages q woman's
foolish ambitions and unworthy
aims.
l have known = man to plume him
self As . model husband because he
gave his assistance to . silly wife
the mother OF his children-who con-
ceived an aspiration for . theatrical
career. She possessed no talent
md made herself only the object of
ridiculs and pity to ali observers.
while she left her husband-a good
man Of ample means-and her chill
dren TO the care Of domestics.
Had the woman been great
genius. born to do som special work
in life and no other. the husbands
would have bssn
''ideal."
a man must De z woman tfuest
friend in order to be also her ideal
|over. He must possess appreciation
Of all her best qualities. sympathy
Tor all her feminine weaknesses, the
to warn her when her high
est good demands it. and the wisdom
TO direct her when counsel is needed.
He must bs delicate enough never
TO make her feel her financial de-
pendence upon him. and he must
ppssess the will power ard self-con-
troll to make his loyalty to her under
Ill conditions that which he expects
Of her.
Yes. he must b strong enough to
kssp her responsive to his dsmonstra-
tions Of affection. Friend. defender.
lover, eomrade, mate-all these must
bs he who possesses 1.-THE highest
type Of love" for woman.
IKD0W On0 sure IAm06y