The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-10-20
FUN OF THz WORLD.

FUN Or IHE WORLD.
Lord Morris was nothing is net candid
Once when some affair affecting the An
siican church came before the lords Of
appeal. ke looked around on his coll
leagues and exclaimed '-One Ct rs is q
jew another is a Presbyterian. and I as
a Roman Catholic. Yield 20 none OF your
lordships in-ignorence OF the matter in
hand.
y good story is told ~ q disger who had
ridden into a Western Australian town 70
consult a doctor HAWKS done 50. he went
u Eave the prescription made up.
How much IS this lott he asked the
chemist
Wen. let ne see" WAS the reply.
There's seven-anG-Sixpeuce Tor the
medicine and shilling for the bottle
{ lie hesitated. uncertain whether he had
charged for everything
oh hurry up, boss" said the i'm
patient miner Put price on the cork.
{ and let Us know the worst
no comes there2 called little Willie.
I the sentry. in threatening tones. as he
shooting position.
a friend answered little Tommie
from behind the rocking chair.
Advance and give the countersign' -
Kissed the sentry, or III shot your head
cn."
An ominous silence followed this ter
rible threat, then Tommie said plaint-
lively.
I've forgot it,
You can't remember nuthin' =" excla.m
ed Willie in disgust. throwing down his
sun. Cum over here an I'll whisper it TO
yer agin."
Egz
once a great nose saved a great life.
and il was in this wise: Rudolph ot Aus
tria, he OF the big nose. reused the en-
nifty OF some OF his knights. and they de-
cided 10 slay him. one night a peasant
working near their tents overheard them
say: Tomorrow Wen surprise old Big
Nose and cut aim 10 pieces, Presently.
as che peasant was on his way TO another
part or the camp-for this happened dur
ing a campaign-he was met by the em-
perCr taking an evening walk 90 inspect
hts army. Rudolph asked him what was
going on in his part of the camp. The
man iHnQCently answered that there
would be great fun next morning for
they We're going 10 cut a big nose 20
pieces II is needless 10 say that there
was no next morning for the CON
spirators.
gE 1s
He was evidently from the country. this
on the elevator, undoubtedly FOR the first
time. his sense of the ridiculous was
touched.
For few minutes he stood in wonder
ment and then. laughing softly 10 himself
he stopped the first person he CHANGED 20
see. who happened 10 be the janitor. and
fired this at him.
Vat was dot leedle box ting vat walks
people oop der stalrse stooden stiH?"
"Oh. that's the elevator" was the
answer
-Oh, dat's vat idt IS. is idt2 haf
pocketbook made often der peel uf one uf
doze
He tried ride. but didn't Ike it. Then
ne said:
II would told my wife nefer 10 go in nit
Won uf doz alligators ven der Walking by
hand vas goot
HE
When President Roosevelt was a police
commissioner of New York. in 1898. Or
Ahlwardt. the anti-Semitic agitator for
Berlin. visited the metropolis Not "a
few OF the New York antl-Semites came
10 Roosevelt in alarm lest the Jews should
rise and mob the orator ON the night OF
his first address. The commissioner re-
Spouse was 10 select from the whole po-
lice force a squad OF Hebrews whose ply
sioEon1my bespoke their race most con-
splcuously. Thee officers me- placed in
charge OF the hall where Ahlwardt was
10 appear. with q reminder that in this
country of free speech they could show
their good citizenship in no more striking
manner than by protecting the very man
who had come 70 hurl contempt and
abuse at their people. The effect Of this I
bit Of comedy was TO make Ahlwarit
ridiculous and cause his wrole crusade
10 fail pitifully fat
K
On one occasion. IN trying an abduc- /
ton case. Lord Morris once chief justice /
OF Ireland. addressed the jury as follows. I
II am compelled To direct YOU 20 find I
verdict Of guilty in this case but you I
viii easily see that ] think II IS a trining 4
thing. which J regard as quite unfit 70 .
occupy my time IL Is more valuable 1
than yours AZ any rate. ~ is much bet
ter paid for Find. Therefore. the prisoner 4
guilty Of abduction. which rests. mind /
ye in four poiuts-the father was not /
averse. the mother was not opposed the /
eirl was willing and the boy was con- (
vaynient." The jury found the prisoner /
guilty and the judge sentenced him 70 |
remain IN the dock TIN the risine of the /
court. Hardly had he delivered sentence I
than. turning u the sheriff Lord Norris !
said. Less us go. and looking &C tic I
at the prisoner. he called across the [
court. Marry the girl 70 once, and God /
bless you both.
sgR
According 20 the Paris Figaro. II was 80 4
COmpieEne. where the ear was recently
entertained by the French. that tire king
of Rome the Eaglet. granted the first
petition that was presented 20 him. ffe
had reached the mature aGa ~ six months
when on old soldier who had already
received many favcrs from -hc emperor.
decided that 10 wanted more. and Thought
q BE- q arf f.