New-York tribune., 1901-01-20
4 STRANGE FUNERAL.
Err OBJECTED TO THE LENGTH
or THE SERVICE

New-York undertaken, who has just returned
from assisting at the funeral of rich owner OF
coal MINIS. in Pennsylvania. tells of a strange
funeral service which the old mans widow ar
ranged
1T is hardly the place for an undertaken TO tell
newspaper stories" he said but I'll have to break
the rule in this case The widow wanted 20 give
tone the funeral. and had the country under
taker send to New-York for an assistant There
was really nothing for do. as the country
undertaken satisfied unless he did every
thing himself He .ollowed the casket down the
aisle carI ing the hats of the six pallbearers his
right There felt hats and derbys, and
one bady battered silk hat in the lot He made
them wait until he had unwound a long. black
mufileI which he wore around his neck. He folded
II up carefully and placed it across the altar rail-
Then he bowed very low as a signal that they
might their burden down. He squinted along
the side @. the casket to that il straight.
and had them change It little finding it out
OF line Then he bowed each to his seat and
bent low before the minister as signal that the
service might begin.
The widow had planned Il most elaborate
vice in which three country ministers We're to take
part one the pastor Of the church, who
preached the regular sermon The second was
young minister. who visiting In the little town
and who read comforting passages from the Bible
The third was the former pastor. old man al
most I'm his dotage. who was to call the attention
OF the audience to the many fine points of he dead
The service was more than an hour old
devotng fifteen minutes TO ShtterInS Eener'A''es
he began to get personal
- Our late departed brother was a great lover OF
fast horses he said. In fact, ne owned some Gt
the fastest horses in this part of the world lie
was always good about pfckn' up anyone along
the road. one day he says To me "Brother Miller,
come an take a ride" lie took me to rlcetraCk,
and all the while were there l noticed he never
took his hand of his coat pocket Why did
you DO that l asked. "Because I've got SSVVo
in there" Now. don't that show Row careful he
was -
Three or four similar characteristics were illus
trated in the same way and at great length. Ihen
the old minister started in To tell about the dedd
mans first wife. He praised her for almost half an
hour. to the great discomfort OF the widow, VINO
In a just below him
And there sits his second wife. he said finally,
L believe he just about as fond of her
''ISv this time the service had been going on or
more than two hours and the people were begin
ming to get nervous, l noticed one Old man who
was frettng in his seat. Finally the minister
paused and the old man Jumped 10 his ieet
- L feel called upon to say something right mere,
he began. Brother Miller means we'll enough: nut
| don't believe in Goiu against the WlShtS OF lhe
dead. George always said before he died that ne
didn't want no fussin' an feathers about his
buryiu'. All he wanted was a prayer an a hymn
an then to be laid away Quick as possible. IL
strikes that this here business mas gone 1ar
enough, and that it's time to begin the huryin
THE widow looked daggers, the minister WAS
speechIess and the situation became very strained
before the choir leader recovered enough TO start
the closing hymn"