Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-02-02

tried merchandising. then went into
the railroad business, then merchan-
dised again. and lastly he bought q
bank, and it is said that he made
enough in the bank in three months
to entitle him to a 2-years' lay-off and
a trip around the world. Be that as
| it may, during all bis varied expert
ences he has ever taken the keenest
interest in groundhogology. which he
has developed into true science. and
which today stands head and should
ers above the works of his contempo-
raries.
Old Hunters Address.
The old hunters address to the
Ground Hog society at Taylor Ridge
Feb 2, 190I-.Mr. President and
Members of this Society: In pursu-
ance of our ancient custom aud in the
interests of society and for the up
| lifting of the human family, and to
still further extend the knowledge
and the benefits to be derived from
the study CT groundhogology as sys-
tematically and scientifically taught
by me, bag leave to submit few
thoughts and some of my experiences
during the two years last past.
LAS you know, two years ago to-
day started out in search of q more
extensive field of operation. knowing
that the ground hog is the talism an
of the United States of America. that
where he thrives there will be peace
and plenty, and where he refuses to
live there will be continued war and
strife. Upon this hypothesis l pro-
posed to settle the question of benevo
lent assimilation in The Philippine is
lands, regardless of whether these
islands are in our possession by Pur-
chase, theft, criminal aggression or
act of providence, or by any other
means. If the ground hog will live
and flourish here then by all that is
good aud holy, the islands are. and of
a right ought to be, ours. If, on the
contrary, he, the ground hog, won't
assimilate. then the only thing to do
is to abandon the archipelago forever
and ever.
Having. as you know. selected
the finest type of the animal for my
experiment, / boarded a ship for
Manila and in due time arrived.
Stating my business to Gen Otis,
received passport to all parts of the
territory under his Jurisdiction. Then
1 hunted up Aguinaido and likewise
obtained pass among all his people.
The Filipinos had never seen ground
hog before and the ground hog had
never seen Filipino before | OBJ
served that there was marked and
mutual disgust when they met. And
right there the question was settled.
That country can never become part
of the United States The ground hog
has spoken. He has never failed in
his prophesies. He never will fail.
Lives Under One Flag Only.
Before | could get off the islands
the two magnificent specimens /
started with dropped and died
martyrs to the cause of humanity as
exemplified in expansion, militarism
and Imperialism. / have visited
every civilized nation on earth, and
under no flag save the stars and
stripes can the ground hog be found.
1t has been abundantly demonstrated
in the past that the flag must follow
the ground hog, aud not the ground
hog follow the dag, NJ. II. TO the con-
trary Notwithstanding.
''As to the conditions that will de-
velop during the coming ground hog
year, as deducted from the report of
the regular committee, want to say
that in some respects It is very cheer
ing, while in others the reverse. The
ground hog came out of his hole. as Is
his custom on this, his anniversary,
cast his eyes around the eastern hor-
lion. shook himself, looked for his
shadow. The result is as you
&C.: hof
good crops will prevail and higher
prices for all farm products will be
the rule. But socially-now listen:
There is going to be ruction after rue
ton among neighbors. (The ex-sen-
ator over there has a smile on his
kindly face, but waltz There is some
thing dark and unseen that is at
work. the air is full of a subtle Gle
ment that is causing neighbours hand
to be raised against neighbor, and
even the ties of consanguinity will
not stay the destroyer of peace and
harmony. The causes of this state of
affairs are multitudious and are daily
and ] now warn you all
to go home and take q sedative three
times day for three months, which
may possibly modify conditions.
At the close of the above address
the president appointed the usual
committee for next year. and on
motion the meeting adjourned until
Feb. 2, 1902
1The report of the Taylor Ridge
meeting comes through s. w.
Heath. of Milan. formerly of Bowling. |
and the longtime and honored presi- |
dent of the Ground Hog society.
A FrightfuI BIunder
Will often cause horrible burn |
scald. cut or bruise. Bucklip's |
Arnica Salve will kill the pain and |
promptly heal it. Cures fever sores.
ulcers. boils. corns, all skin eruptions.
Best pile cure on earth. Only 25 |
cents box. Cure guaranteed. Sold
BY Hartz & Ullemeyer druggists.
Like bad dollars, all counterfeits of