The Saint Paul globe., 1901-05-26
CUPID, NJ. D.

Widow-Ah! then we must have arrived
in India about the same time.
General-Yes, but not by the same
route, ma'am.
Widow-But it was in England that
knew you. Don't you remember Wilsf0rd,
captain
Generalization general, ma am-Major
general retired! Yes, I do remember Wills
ford but ages ago-ages ago.
Widow-You were at home on sick
leave, and we played crOquet.
General-Croquet! I? Never! CrOquet!
Widow-Indeed you did! And wnen L
was crOqued into the bushes you used to
help me out.
General-God bless my soul! Why,
you're never little Mary?
Widow-Yes, am-little Mary.
General-But you ve-grown.
Widow-People do grow in thirty years,
general
GeneraI-Major general! so you are lit
tie Mary? We'll, well! I've forgotten what
your other name was.
Widow-It does not matter. I have
changed it since those days.
General-YOu're married?
Widow-I have been.
General (aside)-I was right, then.
thought So She is a widow.
WidOw-And you are much older than
you were.
General-Not a bit! All our family turn
gray young. Thirty years ago, thirty
years ago! Perhaps you're right. Why,
] must be getting a battered old thing.
I've had fever and ague, sword wounds
from the Afghans and bullet wounds
from the Dervishes. I've got Il slug
about me now.
Widow (starting)-Good heavens! The
horrid creature! How can you touch such
a hOrrid Shiny thing? Don't let 1t loose
general.
GeneraI-Major general! Is she mad?
wish 1 could get at it. A man doesn't
carry bullet in his body if he can
get rid of it.
Widow-A bullet? I thought you said
a slug?
General-so 7 did They're the same
thing, aren't they? She's mad!
Widow-I'm so glad it's only bullet!
| thought it was a slug, and never could
bear snakes; they get on my nerves so.
General (aside)-Snakes? Get on her
nerves? She's not mad. She's dipso-
maniac, and old Thingamajig is treating
her for it. And little Mary has come
to this! A dipsomaniac!
WidOW-AIy nerves are so shattered!
.General-They call it nerves, do they?
Widow-And the doctor is so clever
with nerves.
General dare say! He tells you what
to avoid?
Widow-Yes. One or two things.
Generator course! (Aside) Nips be
tween meals. Well she doesn't mind ac-
knOwledging it. But fancy little Mary
ending at a dipsomaniac!
.Widow-And you-are you also a pa
tient?
GeneraI-Yes. but not for the same
complaint
Widow-No, of course not! Men never
GeneraI-Don't they? I've known one Or
two. But then, it's called by another
name when men suffer from 1t.
Widow-Ah, 1 suppose so! It isn't your
complaint?
General-Good Lord, no! have a toucn
. of liver.
Widow-Ah, you want to be taken care
Of You ought to have married. general.
General-Major General: Not I, ma am.
Ead thing to marry too young Nothing
ages q, man so much.
Widow-But a lonely old man is a very
sad thing, don't you think?
General-Pcrhaps, perhaps; but not so
bad as henpecked old man. A man
should never marry until he's come to
years Of discretion. (Pause) Do you
know, I've a sort of recoHection-weren
we-a-un-engaged in a sort of a kind
of a way?
Widow-In the usual way, belive. You
surely hadn't forgotten that2
Generator course not! But thirty
years is a long time ago.
Widow-I believe you had forgotten lit
lie Mary!
General-But you married some one
else. I couldn't be expected to remem-
ber a girl who married some one else.
There are so many girls who do that
WldoW-But L didn't want to marry
anybody else
General-Now, If little Mary had only
waited. who knows?
Widow-Iittle Marys can't wait for
ever.
General-They say patience is a virtue
Widow-Yes, and virtue is it's own re-
ward. A nice sort of reward to be an old
maid all ones days
General-Well, well! You recommended
n. r.arriage for my liver What does the
doctor recommend for your nerves?
WidoW-Oh, the wretch He has c1lt
me off afternoon tea, which love and
ordered me whisky and soda. which
hate. He says tea has ruined my nerves,
General-Then she isn't dipsomaniac,