davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
OILY sWINDLERs.

The great strike of oil in Texas and
southern California fields has naturally
been the cause of launching a lot of
swindlang concerns pretending to have
o. territory in the ''gusher' district,
and intended to fleece lie unwary VINO
may be dazzled by promises of sudden
riches. The police of New York are
now on the trail of concerns doing bust
mess in that city, whence they flood
the country with their attractive offers
of stock to investors, endless chain Sc
curities,'' oil companies which exist on
paper NEAR" the famous gushers of
Beaumont, Texas, and Los Angeles, Cal.
and allied swindles designed to deceive
the creduOus.
1t is likely that indictments will be
ISSUED by the May grand jury against
the promoters of several companies
whose advertisements, promising for
tunes to prospective purchasers OF
stock, have been widely published.
AAOAoC SodlpdhIS Sdlu AL
torney Cowan of New York. "have not
had time to do much harm as yet. They
have been under police surveillance
from the first. Some few fake pro-
motors and promoting companies may
have escaped for the time being, but
the laws net is spread for them, and
those who offend will surely come to
grief"
Postoffice inspectors are also conduct
ing an Independent investigation of
Texas and California oil flotation
schemes, and fraud orders will probably
he issued against several companies
when the investigation is concluded.
1t behooves the oil Spectator to be
wary, and to discriminate between the
bona fide company and the fraudulent
paper concern, which as a rule is not
difficult to do on account of the ex-
IRENE 1lavishness of the latters prom
Uses OF profits and their dead sureness.
Fortune hunting in oil legitimatelv
conducted is risky enough. without the
element of fraud added to the opera
tions.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
MODERN FABLES.
BY GEORGE AIDE.

The Modren Fable of the GaIIus
barker and His Condescendiny
Advice to the Governor.
Copyright, 1901, Robt. Howard Russell.)
A highly respected Pastor had a Son
VINO was Bad Egg. They could not drag
MN to Campmeeting and when they call
ed the Roll for Thursday Evening PRAYER
Meeting Son was Non Est He liked to
wear a Red Sweater and read the Life
and Battles of John L. Sullivan. AT last
ne sloped between two Days and his Faith
er did not see him again for many Shows.
one Day the pastor wandered down to
the open Lot back of the, School House to
take a sort of Side Glance fat the Greatest
Show on Earth. The Pastor was ONLY Hu-
man and he certainly did Hone and Hanker
10 go In and study the Sacred Animals such
as the Behemoth of Holy Writ, the Leopard
that couldn't find anything to take out the
Spots, and the Camels of Egypt. where
the Israelites came from But he didn't
care to go in because all the Members of
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

hest is poor, and her portion Is bound
to be suffering mere or less constant.
The acute trouble mended, however,
and the felon on her hand cured. her
condition would be beara'ble.
In her trials Mrs. Mckinley is sustain
ed and encouraged by the unfagging
and self-sacrificing love OF her husband,
ever at her side. Long ago the constant
devotion of the President to his pale,
sweet-faced wife touched the heart of
the nation. Her acute suffering past,
this must reccmpense her for much and
make her lot endurable. if not happy.
Simple and unostentatious, the do
nestle life Of the first couple in the
land in their mutual and homely .devo-
ton is at once typical of this nation Of
homes and model
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

his Congregation were in there and they
would have been Shocked to catch him
taking shy at any Worldly Pleasure.
They were early at the Ticket Wagon and
stuck for the whole Shooting Match, in
Guiding the Grand Concert, but the Shep-
herd of the Flock had to stand out by the
Cook Tent and Listen to the Band. That
was the Best he got.
There was a large Commotion in front
of the Side Show, and the Reverend Gen.
teman edged around that way to listen to
the Speiler in the Blue Box, who was de-
livering an impassioned Eulogy on the Os-
sified Man, the Cuban Lady weighing the
enormous Weight of 760 Pounds, and an
swering all Proper Questions, the Hairy
Man from Madagascar and Beautiful Julu,
Queen of the Serpent World. The Barker
addressed the Pack of Humanity as
Neighbors, and he gave them Come
Along Song that brought the Currency
right out of their Clothes. When the
Pastor drew near he was amazed to dis
cover that the Bally-Ho Artist with the
Long Lost Son.
AS soon as the Crowd had rushed into
the Annex, the Grief Stricken Divine
him for being in such Business.
Let up. Father said the Orator. com
ing down from his perch. rs this the
Welcome you have framed up for a Young
Man who comes back after making his
Way in the World? 1t seems to me that
1 am entitled to the Glad Hand and a
! Dewey Arch. 1 am now the main guy of
this Congress of Wonders. and it is a, swell
Money Maker You always wanted me to
| take after you and develop into a Word
Weaver and here I am. Thanks to my
Stage Presence, Easy Flow of Langua$
and Convincing Manner, all inherited from
1 jump from Town to Town, scattering
| my Flowers Of Speech and bringing Hap
piness 10 untold Multitudes of Hirams and
| Hatties. The Side Show is one of our
country's Cherished Institutions. the same
| as the Public School System or the Skip
worth League. 1t is not Sectarian in its
organization, 1 will admit. but it has. an
| Educational Value and exerts a Moral In
I fluence, as you will find by casting your
eye over the large blue banner just this
side of the Lemonade Joint. Our exhibit
| ton of the Marvels Of Nature is intended
| to stimulate the Mental Activities and en-
large the understanding of every Yahoo
who buys a Yellow Ticket Therefore, al
| though our Exhibition of Strange and
Curious Peoples is not under the auspices
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
Mckinley's Favorite Flower.

New York Sun.
After this time it must be an accepted
fact that the carnation is President Nc
Kinley's flower, for the Californians for a
week have insisted that this is so. Some
body learned long ago that the President
frequently wears a red carnation in his
buttonhole. and Il has since been as
sumed, bye Californians. at least, that
he prizes this blossmo above all others
The fact has appeared in every California
town. 1t was in evidence at the Ferry
building. Apparently there were millions
Of carnations. not to speak OF roses and
other flowers In the decorations of the
hall, and the carnation ruled alone in the
vicinity Of the platform on which the
President stood.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
AGAIN.

For the Register
Come down into the meadow Ruth,
And stroll along the streams
To hear the birds good night song
And with sweet nature dream.
Dost thou remember how we two
In days gone by oft played
Among these little groups of trees
And e'er enjoyed their shade?
Here thou, when but a little girl
Declared thy love for me;
But after while thou vert more shy
And from me seemed to fee.
Then ] was sad and oft would fear
Another claimed thy heart,
And that our happy days were Ger,
And we must i've apart.
Oh, was 1 wrong, dear. to think thus?
Or dost thou still love me?
OH canst thou ever dream. dear Ruth,
How my soul longs for thee?
The sweet blue eyes, half tears. hal
smiles,
Told more than tongue could tell
And lovelight beaming from their eyes
Made answer: "All is we'll"
MARTHA SHEPARD LIPPINCOTT
Moorestown, n. J.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
-1ec,Es---------------
CARMEN ANIMALCULUM.

We're gentle bacilli
OF shy beri-beu,
OF Bombay and Chilli,
OF Cape Town and Said,
Just watch little Willy,
Go dcTy-down-derry!
Oh, living is merry
As long as you're fed.
There's the Malay and fellah,
The brown and the yellow,
The Boer and the Briton,
The Hottenton, too
The SeDoy, the Coolie,
Wen tackle them duly!
We're fine as kitten
oo-rilly- boo-rooi
We're gentle bacilli
OF shy beri-beri,
We're here willy -nilly,
We don't know our dad,
You're lit as a FLY
For crossing the ferry!
We're feeling so merry,
We hope you are glad,
There's the dindoo, the fakir,
The Parsee, the Quaker.
The Dane and the Digger,
The Sikh and Chinee,
The Kaffir, the Zulu
They're only our boulu,
o-rilly-too-ree,
Just wait till we Singer!
We're gentle bacilli
OF shy beri-beri
Like daffy-down-dilly
We bloom and are sped,
We knock the cat silly,
That ate the canary;
Oh, living is merry
Until you are dead,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
JUDGE HoKE.

II hev been informed began Judge
Hoke as he opened court at Sandy
Bend-'I hev been informed that the
six or seven lawyers in this town are
of the unanimous opinion taat Jim
Hoke, which is me, don't know law
from wolf tracks. This court is not
one of the yearnin sort, but jist now it
is yearnin powerful bad for some of
them lawyers to git up yere and try TO
teach me my bizness Law hain't got
nuthin to do with the purceedin's we're.
It's jestice we're arter, and we'll hev
jestice if we hev to call out the troops
to git it. The court stands ready to ac-
knowledge that he's lame in both legs
on the law question, but when it comes
right down to plumb center jestice he
kin jump 16 feet and hev lots of breath
left.
''The case before us today is that of
Tom Hedge varsus that old critter in
the corner who calls hisself George
Scott. Three days ago Tom Hedge,
who's not the man l took him to be,
come ridin' into Sandy Bend and said:
ledge Hoke, / wants jestice.
"'What sort of jestice?'
Same is they hev in the States
though you needn't put on as many
coats of varnish nor shoot off any fire.
works in the evenin.'
''Waal, Tom, he goes on and tells
me story of how that critter over
there robs his cabin on Humpback
mountain, and I issue a warrant, and
the robber are brung in Tom Hedge
will now take the stand and be sworn.
One hand up are enough. Now, then,
while you are out huntin, some one
entered camp and stole yer blankets
fryin pan and sich?'
They did" answered Tom.
you searches around and finds his
trail, take it?'
Il does"
you follers that trail for three
miles, and you finally sights hole in
the side of hill. You believes the
robber is layin' in that hole?"
Il does"
you watches around for an hour or
so and then sees him come out?"
Il does"
you amt over ten rods away?"
Jest about ten rods"
"And you has Winchester and re-
volver with your"
"Sart'inly.'
When he comes out, you seed he had
one of your blankets, did your"
81 did. Couldn't be no mistake about
that"
And therefore you were dead sure
he was the robser and had the rest Of
the plumber in the hole?"
Dead sure and willin to bet ten K
one on it,
Now, Tom, tell the court what fol
Tered"
Il come over we're to Sandy Bend t.
git justice ag'in the robber."
Eyes, that's what you did. You had
been robbed You found the robber
Thar couldn't be no mistake about 1t
1t was still daylight The distance was
only ten rods, and you had % bullets
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

of any particular Denomination, we claim
that it is more Diverting and has
greater Charm for the Young than the
TableauX and Charades frequently given
in the Lecture Room for the Benefit Of
Home Missions. If there is any doubt on
this Point L am willing to leave it to the
Kids
But do you play Fair with the Public?"
asked his Father. Are all the Attrac-
tons on the inside exactly as you repre-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
FINE RESIDENCE BURNED.

PHILADELPHIA. Pa, May 1S.-The
country home of Thomas 3. Wanna
maker at-Meadow Brook, Montgomery
county, was struck by lightning this
morning and entirely destroyed The
loss is estimated at 100000. The house
was adorned with valuable paintings
and bric-a-brac all of which was de-
stroyed
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

We'are taught to believe that child
rem are nearer to the angels than their
eders, but such incidents as that at
Harbor Beach, Mich, where a parcel of
small schoolgirls took one of their
number and beat her with clubs until
she died,.have tendency to shake orr
haltn In the angel-child theory.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19


West Virginia is a State
That flows with milk and honey;
Its citizens are up-to-date
And have the stuff called Money"
Its women are the handsomest,
Its men are of the best,
And If you want a better State
Don't go further west
Its rivers are the swiftest-
AS all the people know
And situated as they are,
Why should they not be so?
The waters of their restless waves
With toothsome fish are teeming,
While on their heaving bosoms
Countless boats are steamng
'Tis true, the old Ohio
Oft gets on a tear
And houses on the lowlands
Are somewhat worse for wear;
And in summer it becomes so low
That the humble boatman walls
Cause the catfish kick the dust up
From the bottom, with their tails
Its mountains are so lofty
They almost touch the sky,
Ana underneath their rugged breasts
Hidden treasures lie.
Coal and iron there abound
In quantities galore,
And natural gas and oil are found
In never ending store.
Some rant about their fine cigars.
Their cigarettes and snuff,
Their toddies, high balls, gin sings
And all that sort of stuff,
But tell you there is one thing
That surely takes the cake,
And that's q good old StOote
One of Wheeling make.
1t has made this city famous,
And known the world around.
And whereSoe're you travel
The stogie can be found;
It's made for strength not beauty,
And And | tell you in advance
That it will do its duty
If you give it half a chance,
VII
Your whisky is the purest
That ever was distilled,
And some who come to Wheeling
Are quickly with 1t filed,
But there's no headache in it,
And all they do, alasi
Is to grab the old decanter
And ill another glass.
But when Uncle Samuel calls
For volunteers to fight
For the glory of our country,
And to uphold our might,
tbs then that West Virginia's sons
To the rescue spring,
And cheers for country, flag and right
Make the valleys ring.
Now, farewell, West Virginia,
With your enterprises vast,
May your future greatness
Excel that of the past,
And when hcnor's roll is called,
No doubt we all will find
That the State of West Virginia
Isn't far hehird
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
ISLANDS NOT SOLD.

COPENHAGEN, May .1s.--It is on
cially announced that the Danish West
Indies have not been sold. AS previous
ly set forth in these dispatches the ne
gotiations are progressing on matters
Of detail, but II is not likely that a
treaty will be concluded before the
Rigsdag and Congress meet.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

A pretty sixteen-year-o Ohio girl is
said to be. in the mermaid class. 1t is
reported that she has swan a mile
without fatigue and thinks she could
swim for week. This may be appro-
priately called a fishy story.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
MRS. MCKINLEY.

The great improvement in Mrs. Nc
Kinley's condition. unlocked for by the
attendant physicians, gives encourage
ment that her life may yet be saved
and that she may be restored to her
usual condition OF health. True, this is
not much for the sorely af1icted Invalid
70 look forward to, since her health at
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Members of the New York Produce
Exchange have just purchased a mil
lion dollars worth of experience from
young Corn King Phillips, whose cor
ner they tried to buck"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Stamps of the denomination OF two cents
and less accepted for amounts less tnan
ono dollar.
Correspondence containing important
news solicited from every part o. the sur
rounding country.
Tributes of Respect and Obituary NO
tices, five cents per line.
Rejected communications Will NOT pc re.
turned unless accompanied by sufficient
postage,
THE REGISTER, embracing its several
editions, is entered at the Postonice at
wheeling, w. Va, as second-class matter.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

AS expected the politicians at Harris
burg have juggled with their promises
to the miners, and the latter threaten
not only to march on the capital but
to strike. They will hardly improve
matters by doing either. Their remedy
lies in the ballot box
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

The Oldest family in Philadelphia, ac-
cording to the Record, of that city, is the
Shoemaker family, the original ancestor
having emigrated from Palatinate in 1854
lie died on the voyage, but his widow
Sarah, and twelve children, settled in the
neighborhood of Germantown and Shoe
makertown. Three of the descendants
were mayors of Philadelphia before the
American Revolution. The lineal ances-
tor OF the present head of the family was
treasurer of Philadelphia for eighteen
successive years. Two of the sons of Sar-
an, the widow of the Palatinate, opened
drugstores One is in Shoemakertown
Where 1t still stands, after two hundred
years, with the family name as proprietor.
One of her grandsons established a drug
store near Second and Vine streets Only
one of the family. Samuel Shoemaker,
who owned the Randolph mansion. re-
NAMED Royalist during the Revolution.
lie could not consciously give up his al
legiance, and went to England He re-
turned later when peace was declared.
The present head of the family, BENJAMIN
ii. Shoemaker, has been connected with
the Pennsylvania Hospital longer than
any other of the board of directors
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
Methoairtr and fre.iaent.

Worcester Spy.
Ii would be unfair 10 leave the impress
sion that all the ministers al the meet
ing were against the President He was
defended vigorously Furthermore, the
Spy is assured there was more than one
minister present who heartily regretted
that any such discussion gained head
way and who considered II in bad form.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Mrs. Potter Palmer was offered the
position of street inspector in Chi
cago and is expected to accept in the
Interest of CITY Beautiful move
ment. Other cities besides Chicago
might try this experiment with profit.
Women as street inspectors would at
least insure clean streets.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
REGISTER AGENCIES.

WHERE THE REGISTER CAN BE
PURCHASED OUT OF TOWN.
CHARLESTON, w. Va.-Hotel Ruffner
News Stand.
WASHINGTON, D. C.-Queen News
Stand National Hotel
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

A naval engineer has just performed a
great feat and saved the government
$4,000 by removing damaged 70-ton,
1S-inch gun on the Kearsarge through a
turret hole Just one fourth of an inch
wider than itself. And now some ignorant
land-lubber who never saw battleship
will wonder why it wouldn't be as well
to build ships so that injured guns could
be thus removed at a saving of $4,000
each.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

The Baltimore Sun suggests that TT is
curious fact that at this moment sugar
is leading factor in world politics. For
the British government it is a revenue
and tax question. For Germany, whose
yearly production is 100000 tons of beet
sugar nearly one-fourth of the total SUI
gar production of the world, it is a tariff,
bounty and export question. For Russia
1t is the same. And in the United States
1t is tariff and colonial question"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Let the country round about keep its
eye on 'Wheeling's Carnival. 1t will be
the greatest thing this part of the coun-
try has ever seen.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Rushville, Ind, for six years, went to the
poorhouse and was sued for divorce one
day this week. Alas. how tickle is human
greatness.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

The transactions in stocks for the first
three weeks in May foot up 34.103. 700
shares. Take the average par value at
500. and it runs into money.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

residents and out-of-town visitors in the
neighborf,pod OF Wheeling to-day.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
AN OPTIMIST'S VIEW
OF WEST VIRGINIA

The following poem was contributed by
an out-of-town banker unable to attend
the recent session of the Bankers Asso-
citation, but was not read before that
body:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Delivered by Carriers.
Daily. per week. to be paid weekly. loc
haily' ner month. Observation-Disclosures. 44c
Taily ana Sunday. per week. ........... 15c
Daily and Sunday, per month.......... voc
Daily, single copy, &c; Sunday.......... &c
Weekly Observation-Disclosures. sc
Daily and Sunday by Mail.
Postage Prepaid. :.
Daily, incl Sunday, per year. ..........$s "
Daily, incl Sunday six months........ W
Daily, incl Sunday, one month....-... ~
Daily, six days week, one year,. W
Daily, six months. W
Tlaiiy rhraa norths .......... l 80
naiiy' davs o weel, ner year 90
naiiy Jays q week Der year so
Da;iy ono day a week per year. %
E,InSsv nnlv ner wear 60
G,,nSay o,,iy for sly months 80
WanIIy nar v1ar in ad vance .1 90
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Now, farewell, West Virginia,
With your enterprises vast,
May your future greatness
Excel that of the past,
And when hcnor's roll is called,
No doubt we all will find
That the State of West Virginia
Isn't far behind.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19
VIII

But when Uncle Samuel calls
For volunteers to fight
For the glory of our country,
And to uphold our might,
lis then that West Virginias sons
To the rescue spring,
And cheers for country, flag and right,
Make the valleys ring.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

It's true, the old Ohio
Oft gets on tear,
And houses on the lowlands
Are somewhat worse for wear;
And in summer it becomes so low
That the humble boatman walls
Cause the catfish kick the dust up
From the bottom, with their tails.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Its mountains are so lofty
They almost touch the sky,
And underneath their rugged brea.
. Hidden treasures lie
Coal and iron there abound
In quantities galore,
And natural gas and oil are found
In never ending store.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-19

Some rant about their fine cigars,
Their cigarettes and snuff
Their toddies, high balls, gin sings
And all that sort of stuff,
But tell you there is one thing
That surely takes the cake,
And that's good old stogie,
One of Wheeling make.
Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1901-03-11
CONGER'S VACATION.
Does Not Give UP His Post Of Homo,
In China.

Washington, March 11.-A cablegram
received at the state department today
announces the departure of Minister
Conger this morning en- route to the
United States. His sixty day2' leave
of absence will begin when he reaches
San Francisco.
Mr.. Congers message is as follows:
"Pekin, March Ill leave Pekin to-
day for America. Squires is left In
charge. CONGER."
Thus 1t appears clearly that Mr.
Rockhill is not in any sense a successor
to Mr.. Conger as United States minister
to Pekin at this time, but simply spe-
cial commissioner, limited in his func-
tions to the negotiations with the Chi
nese government and the other minis
ters for settlement of the troubles
growing out of the Boxer uprising.
Besides the foreign representatives. a
large crowd gathered at the station to
bid the minister and his family fare
We'll.