Rock Island Argus., 1901-11-20
THE DAILY
SHORT STORY.
Rather Less Alfred

''What do You think" said the inter-
viewer to the small boy. "on the SUD-
ject OF King Alfred and the coming
celebration"
$50 you're another Of them" said the
small boy bitterly. what / want Is
rather less Alfred. I've had Ii rubbed
into me in school and never complain
ed. | suppose it's the Kind OF thing
they're paid to do. We had him In the
sermon on Sunday; I've bumped up
against him i'm every blessed paper that
I've opened i'm the reading room; Ia
letter from the only girl / really care
about seriously, and she asked me If
didn't want to he truly great. like King
Alfred. No more Alfred Tor me. thanks.
I've had all can eat. I don't want to
he noisy, but If l get much more or
| this Alfreding. as sure as my names
James Robinson there'll be Il row..
Then you disapprove of the mile
nary celebration and the unveiling OF
the StatueT
Il disapprove OF all millinery ex-
hibitions. AS for the statue, that seems
to me a bit serious. I've marked down
the name OF the man who did it, and
it's Thornycroft. / should like to put
few plain questions to that Mr..
Thornycroft. / think he'd look silly.
Did you ever see this King AlfredT
should say to him. Did you ever see
his photograph? Did you ever SO much
as see a drawing of him from lifeP
He'd have to say that he hadn't. He
couldn't get away from it. Then
should say, how do you know that
statues any more like King Alfred
/ . ;e,l
sort of things allowed. it may lead to
anything. He might do a thing out of
his own head. and then call ii me
that Is. James Robinson, And / warn
| him that IL he does. he'll have my
fathers solicitor to deal with
Have you anything else against Mr.
| ThornycrOft:"
'Yes, 1 have. He wouldn't get or
yet. There's another point 1 should
say. L see from the newspapers that
you've made the figure OF King Alfred
eighteen feet high. Is that true? 1
/ want a plain yes or no knowing
that I'd seen il I'm the papers. he'd prob
ably confess. Very well, then I
should go on. Was King Alfred a
man or wasn't he:' He'd have to own
that King Alfred was man; he
wouldn't like it. because he'd see what
was coming. but he'd have to do it.
Now them should go OH, did you
ever see a man eighteen feet high? 1
don't want TO be hard on you. I'll
throw i'm Barnum's show. Did you
ever see one there? You can measure
/ from the bottom of the heels TO the
top of the hat OF the biggest giant
| known. and then you wouldn't get it
or anything near it, He'd have no eN-
cuse to make. There is no excuse for
exaggeration except that YOU did it in
a moment and didn't think. You can't
| do a statue in moment, and you
ouehtn't TO do it without thinking, not If
you mean to give value for your money.
1 think things look pretty bad for Mr..
Thornycroft. and / wonder the papers
haven't taken it up 1 suppose, be-
cause he's n great sculptor, they're
afraid to speak their mind. But I'm
not"
Are you going to do anything about
it?" inquired the interviewer.
mo. What do l care about King
| Alfred? When i was younger, l was
stuffed up with a long story about his
having burned some cakes. Fool of a
thing TO do with cakes, IL they were
| any good. i think. 1t was one of the
usual history storieS-One of the things
that show what little boy can do,
suppose. Now I'm told that that story
is probably n lie. and L read it in a
book written by a parson. (Oh, there
are lot of things want showing upD
I've got no time to learn things that
| get struck out afterward''
| = 10 hnr
much we all OF us, including you, owe
to our great King Alfred?'
I've had that before, and it won't
do. Suppose butcher throws down a
CARLOAD of mutton chops which you've
never ordered at your door. Do you
owe him for them? OF course you
don't. 1 never asked King Alfred to
do anything for me. l never ordered
anything. All that he did he did on
his own responsibility, and he must
take the consequences and pocket the
loss, if there is any. 1 was told when
we were doing history the other day
that IL there had been no Alfred
should never have existed. Well, some
times L wish 1 never had. Why should
l be thankful for his interference?'
"But can't you--er"-
81 can't stop here discussing 1t. I've
as good as promised to act as umpire
in a fight between two boys-friends
OF mine. And il I'm not there dead on
time they'll chuck it up and go away
and there won't be any fight. l could
see they were both looking out for an
excuse for backing out of it."-Black
and White.
To Rule n Husband.