New-York tribune., 1901-03-15
THE TAIN OF THE DAY.

Miss Rebecca Ramsdell. OF Henniker. y. H.
was lo2 years old on March T. She was horn in
south Acton. Mass. but when seven wears old
she went with her mother Heuniker. where she
mas since resided. Eghty-three years has she
lived in Henniker village upon the banks Of +ba
Contoocook River. in the same house which a
now her home She was a member of the first
sunday school class formed in the town startad
IN MI and was admitted to the Congregational
church in 1892 Some years ago she fell and broke
her hip. and since that time she has been nbvsi
cally feeble. although she cared for her home
without assistance until she reached the age NJ
ninety-nine. For the last three years she has
been confined TO her bed.
Mrs. Ondego (making a caln-I am sorry ~ bs,-
you are having trouble with your cook.
didn't mind her practising on the piano now go go
then but she wants to join our golf cIub!-(Chi-
cago Tribune '0''i-
An English paper says that a we'll known lecturer
was once invited TO take tea at a certain house
Immediately on being seated the table little
daughter of the house said TO the guest abruntlI-.
Where is your wife,
The lecturer. who had recently separated from his
better half. was surprised and annoyed at the
question and stammered forth the truth:
Il don't know
Don't know" repeated the child .why don't
you know
Finding that the child persisted in her interro-
cations, despite the mild reproof OF the parents
hS ucClutu 10 make a clean breast of the
ana nave 1t over at once. so he said with camness:
We'll don't live together We think as We
can't agree. we'd better not
He stifed groan as the child began again. and
darted an exasperated look at her parents
But the little torment would not be ouieted ,,n+t,
she exclaimed
Cant agree? Then why don't you fight IT out
the same as father and mother do?''
What's all that crowd of women over there at
shoppers who read Bargens 'ad'"
But that's an unusually large crowd for so
early I :, In IN the morning
the crowd -(Catholic Standard and Times
Here are some answers to school examination
questions in England; One lad. in answer 10 the
question What is limited monarchy" wrote
thus; "A limited monarchy is government by a
king, who. in of bankruptcy. would not be re-
sponsible for the entire national debt You have
the same thing in private life in limited Ia abty
companies" boy not as conversant with Ameri-
can as with English history wrote In answer TO
the question Who We're the Pilgrim Fathers"
They We're the fathers of good young men who
went on the Crusades TO the Holy Land" Mo
iasses defined as the American word for the
little mules used 10 carry provisions UP the Andes
Mountains in California" II may not be out OF
place to remark that molasses is hardly known
by that name in England. the older word 'treacle'
being the one almost exclusively used.
MIR BLUFF.
He purchased Shakespeare finely bound
"A rorty volume set;
He searched for Dickens Balzacs tales
The best that he could get;
And Hugo Huxley, Darwin, too
And twentyScore beside.
They lined his bookShelveS while he read
Proud Poll. the Pirates Bride"
OF music he had Mozart's works.
Beethoven's symphonies,
a gilt piano, too. with real
Hand-whittled ivory keys
Herr Wagner's bust adorned the room,
And fancieS would rise.
Until you heard him carol forth;
She Made Them Goo-Cioo Eyes
His dining richly built:
The gla weighed a
Twelve forks repoSed every plate
He never used but
And sometimes he would use that
A knife good enough
When eating pie-this tells the tale
OF self-made Mr.. Bluff.
Baltimore American.
All the employees in the Mongolian gold mines Of
Siberia Americans. The mines are Welding a
Very fair average. Next summer the company will
have its own steamer running on the SeIeugA
River. The vessel will be commanded by an Ameri- |
can and worked by Americans.
'Gazzam has been going without his break |
fast for month TO reduce his flesh" said Twyun /
With what efect?" asked Trpplett
much tickled over it, " 'N''
We'll, II he keeps at that rate he'll be tickIsd
10 death."-(Detroit Free Press.