The Montgomery advertiser., 1901-06-28
A LESSON IN SLANG.
Ignorance of the vernacular Evinced
 by a New Arrival.

I0Ku0TauCe Ol L0S VSTuACuANI &9NAACS0 by a New Arrival. Chicago Journal.
 He had just received change for Vi0 from the conductor after paying his fare on the Cottage Grove Avenue grip car and was counting it in laborious way that showed he was not accustofn- ed to United States money. After fig- uring on 1t for several moments until the attention of the passengers and gripnan was attracted to his enbar- rassment, he seemed as much puzzled as ever.
 Better put that money away or some one will take care of 1t for. you" ad" vised the gripman, in a kindly tone.
 "The conductor didn't give me the roight change" the man replied, plainly revealing his nationality. The conductor happened along at that time and was at once informed of the trouble. The two counted ever the money and the sum was found to be right, the Irishfnan's mistake ArtB- ing from his taking a half-dollar for c quarter.
 "Some one will hold you up and take your dough if you show 1t 50 much" again advised the gripman.
 "Phwat do yez call 'doughr"
 why, the cash, the coin, your mon ey."
 Sure. and they won't be after both erin me. Oi have just been over two weeks" replied the Irishman as if he thought his ignorance would protect him.
 "I don t see how that would help you much" replied his friend. the gripman. Did you see those two 'coons' who just got off?"
 "Coons!' and phwat's thim?"
 Why, black men. That's what we call them over here. They will take your money if you give them a good chance. They were watching you all the time."
 The conversation then switched to other subjects, the Irishman telling his experiences since his arrival.
 "Orm gittin' g a day over here in mill" said he of the Emerald Isle.
 Well, you had better stay there" re- piled the gripman. There's many a man looking for a job like that and anxious to get 'efn."
 How much do yez at for runnir' this carr" asked Pat.
 'Oh. l haul in three bucks"
 "Phwat are 'bucks?' again queried Pat.
 Why, dollars; haven't you learned slang yet7"
 Could oi git job loike that9"
 Sure, if you have a drag"
 And phwat's a dragT
 "A 'drag7' Why, a drag is pull.
 The Irishman puzzled over the reply for a moment and then appealed for tne formation.
 But. thin, phwat's 'pull?'"
 "A pulls a--ah----"
 The gripman was as much puzzled as the Irishman, and while he was trying to evolve definition for the expressive word a passenger came to his rescue by suggesting influence"
 "Do you know John J. Mitchell, or Marshall Field, or Robert Lincoln of the Pullman Company" enquired the auto crat of the grip car, who evidently was weil-inforfned regarding Chicago rail- way magnates.
 The man who had only been over two weeks" was not able to claim ac- quaintanceship with any of these gen tlemen.
 Well, then, you'd better stick to the job you got" said his adviser.
 "Oi've just come from the Paal-mer House." said Pat, somewhat irrele- vanity, with a touch of pride.
 Do you live there?" asked the grip man, sarcastically.
 No, but me brother does."
 This staggered the gripman for moment. Then. with sudden light, he asked: What does he do there?"
 He's a portheT," was Pats proud answer, as he got off the car at Sew enty-first Street.