Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-01-26
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HAolSlS-Olu YOU nave Il lice time at
the trolley party? Daisy-Oh, lovely!
We ran across ever so many people l
knew.-Smart Set.
Mrs. Jones-Don't trouble yourself to
see me to the door, Mrs. Smith Mrs
Smith-NO trouble. Quite a pleasure, l
assure you.-Tit-Bits.
His Total Eclipse: The Cynic-Ah!
poor man, he's gone over to the silent
majority! Jones-Dead? The Cynic-
No. Married.-Smart Set.
Minister-SO you saw some boys fish
ing ON the Sabbath, my young man. Did
you do anything to discourage them?
Small Boy-Yes, sir. l stole their bait
Elk.
Teacher-And why should we endeav-
or to rise by our own efforts? Johnnie
Wise-'Cause there's no tellin when the
alarm-clock will go wrong.-Ba Baltimore
American.
Guide referring to the Egyptian pyra-
mids)-lt took hundreds of years to
build them. O'Brien 0he wealthy con-
tractor)-Thin it wor a govern mint job
eh ?-Tit-Bits
Casey-So the boss fired Cassidy for
being drunk? And how did he know he
was drunk? Costigan-Whoy, tn -om
fool wint and fell six shtories widout
hurting himself-Judge.
Reward of Merit: Nellie-Gracious
How do you manage to knit so much in
so short time? Ninette-Every time
do ten rows, give myself a chocolate
cream.-Chicago Tribune.
In the Census: New Yorker-It is
estimated that China has a population
of about four hundred millions. Chi
cagoan-By craeky! wouldn't that make
scrumptious suburb BAZAAR
A Great Joke: Il heard a joke at the
theater last night" What was it?"
''Oh, l can't remember, but it was a
corker; have to laugh every time
think of it."-Columbus (Ohio) State
Journal.
Brothers in Misery: Strange
how many great men have been mar
ried TO shrews Now there's Socrates,
Duerer, Luther, and Husband with
sign)-What a genius 1 must be theni
-Jugend.
Field for an Anti-cruelty Society: The
Wife, do believe 1 would fall dead if
you were to come home early some
evening. The Brute-You will have to
offer a bigger bride than that.-In-
dianapolis Press.
We All Wonder: Little Clarence (who
has an inquiring mind)-Pa! Mr.. CALI
pers-Uh? Little Clarence-Pa, how
does it come that Mr.. Windbagger, who
declares that there is no freedom of
speech in this country, talks all the
time?-Puck.
And you say you have made n for
tune by your penn" said the earnest
young man with the literary look. "Yes,
SIR" replied the comfortable person;
land | deserved it; it is one of the best
fountain pens ever put on the market"
Washington Star.
Evidence of truthfulness: Judge Ito
female witness)-Your name, madam?
Witness-Matilda Murphy, sir; aged
i6. Judge-Well, really! Go the jury:
Gentlemen, you will be kind enough to
believe everything Miss Murphy has to
say.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Excuse me, SIR" said the man in the
next seat, ""but your cigar is burning
a hole in your paper" "That is all
right responded the other; 81 am just
burning out the price of those electric
seals at to-morrow's bargain sale. You
see, take this paper home. "-Philadel-
phia Record.
Won Blumer-What' the matter? You
look sad Dimpleton-I feel sad. This
morning l deceived my wife for the
first time. Won Blumer-Oh, is that all?
Pooh! You'll recover. Don't let that
worry you. Dimpleton-But it does,
old man. She caught me at it.-Detroit
Free Press.
Precautions: ''Talk about absent
miDdedness! jenkins is the most alb
sent-minded beggar / know" whats
he done now?" "Why, he wrote the
combination of the safe on a piece to
paper to keep from forgetting it, and
then locked the paper in the safe to
keep from losing it."-Denver Times.
His little game: She-You know that
heck for one hundred dollars you gave
me? Well. they refused to cash it 'Fhe
teller said that you only had seventy
i've dollars in the bank. He-By Jove,
I'm awfully sorry, dear. She-Oh, it
was all right; 1 deposited twenty-five
dollars, and then they gave me the
.OOneV-I.ife
She-To live with you, dear George,
on desert island-to be always near
you-that would be my great joy hence
forth. He-You dear girl! And that is
really all you ask for? She-Yes. If
there is one other thing L should like
when we're married, it is that You will
take a box at the opera for the season.
Will you, George dear?-Pick=Me-Up.
A choice of terms: Here's another
man who got away with some money
that didn't belong to him." said the
young man who was reading the pa
per. "How much?" inquired Miss Cay,
enne. at doesn't state" ''That's too
bad! wanted to determine whether
he is a plain thief, misguided embez,
} zler. or a bold financier. "-Washington
Star.
SeIf-interest: Mother (reading teIe-