New-York tribune., 1901-05-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


Slope says that in assemblages where httie pa
thence and good humor temper what is disagreeaoie
the people of the Pacific Slope are at their best
Once at performance of some play, severai
youths guying the principal character, to the
annoyance of everybody else. Suddenly man
said them very politely:
THAT lady the stage is making so much morse
that cannot hear what you are saying. But
hope shall have the pleasure OF listening 10
your criticisms later, when the act is over ST.
lence followed the remark.
At times something more forcible is needed.
certain woman had one day been rudely treated oy
minor railway official. She very indignant ana
quite at loss for words: but she had a saving
of humor. and turned to stranger at her
elbow.
Sir said she will you tell this man what
think of him.
The stranger without betraying the least excite
ment. said in melancholy drawl:
'Sir. this woman thinks you are an understrapper'
clothed with a little brief authority. whose ohly
qualification for the place you occupy is your
extra ordinary impudence."
He of these smooth faced young s men VINO "ia
arettes because it's manly He eo9dnt @ @ have StTed
under the msetoe In shirt waist th 0T Es eep bass
voice and whskers to meander that bs way Threw his
WaW' W;' Course m -" mott! Indignantly replied the
toner Cant Yer see want a shave?
The barber heayed weary sigh as he or
somebodys WcGm Compassion balm Then he picked up
neck razor whipped 1t over the strop once anu
scraped the lather off with the back Of the instru-
meTt: .p ,, ..,,,o ,,o,as nan feel betterr'
calculated the smooth faced one rubbing his hand
"That's the W fourth one O. them things to-day"
growled the barber.-(Denver Times
There is a man uptown" says liquor dealer
quoted by The Philadelphia Record who has a
monopoly in his business-at least. I know of no
opposition in his line. and think would know OF
1t if he had. His game is 10 extract whiskey from
empty barrels. He buys the casks. takes them 10
his place of business and subjects them to secret
process l have heard ii said that he gets gallon
of whiskey from every barrel but can scarcely
credit this. He told me once that the liquor ne
extracts from the wood possesses some peculiar
property that prevents II from blending with other
whiskeys. he has to dispose of II In its natural
state. Even at that he had made lot of money
Where does he sell 1t? To the lowest grogseries-
| the places where five cent drinks are demanded
Commenting upon item recently printed in
The Record" about a coOred man named Gus
tavus Tennessee Choctaw DemOpolfs Lincoln. a
correspondent Games c. McCurdy, of this city,
SAYS: York County Penn. the home of many
people prominent in state politics beasts boasts fnck OF
son Johnson Doneson Fillmore Deckman have
he Sn to @ say h that bn the aIovs se6o
back in the early seventies ies'-(Philadelpha Record
The following towns in Pennsylvania are
enumerated in the Twelfth Census: Jersey shore.
Loyal Sock. Nippenose. Picture Rocks. Wolf
Cherrytree. Cornplanter. Scrub Grass, Victory,
Twilight Parnassus Freedom. NewFreedom. Par
adise. Lion. Moon. Slippery Rock. Daisy Town,
Scalp Level. Snow Shoe. Popcopson, Licking Paint.
Chest. Fox. Bald Eagle, Oil Creek. Woodcock.
Rush. Andy. Fair Chance, Warriors Mark, Wam-
pun. Jeddo Shckshinny Warrior Run. Eden. Four
Coons Lively Town. Mushroom and Peach
From the pagoda OF the late Prince Ii Sum
Whot We heard strains Of strange and weird
Turning to our guide We asked; What causes
why he explained. that Is one of the SOL
ders playing on his loot."-(Baltimore American.
The Rev Francis McFetrich. rector of st.
Timothys Episcopal Church. Philadelphia. has been
chosen foreman of the jury TO try the men accused
of numbering Father Riesel.
HOUsECLEANING CAROL
The melancholy days have come-the saddest OF
The carpets on the clothesline and incessant
The bedding's in the kitchen and the beds are IN
The pictures are upon the floor while some one
We eat cold meat and crackers from a wabbiy
For this is glad housecleanng time-so free from
toll and care.
The neighbors line their windows and hasty
OF all the bric-a-brac have. and calculations
If IT was bought with ready cash or on instalment
We rescue provisions from the hasty garbage
And life is gay and careless-lke. IT makes one
To HE away-because the folks are cleaning house
The melancholy days are here-the days OF soap
and dust
Stove polish daubs the tableware-theres pie on
Wagner's bust
Piano holds some frying pans-the bathtub's filled
The women folks folksIah, who could tell who they
Sing hey. The glad housecieanng time-the time
of dust and soap!
1t is gladstone sight to see-through a big teIe-
scope baltimore American
was walking In the direction Of a certain hos
ptal the other morning when noticed little girl
some five six years old toddlinC along al nv
heels. Whenever stopped she stopped and waited
for until | started on again.
well. ResSr'' | Queried. She looked covlv down
at n pair Of ragged shoes
What do YOU want? y cent?" l ventured.
She shook her head. Il wants TO foller yer TO der
hospital"
IAN right. Come along" answered But
what afraid OFF,
one"
"Scared of what?''
Der Salvation Armory. she answered "Dey
ketches yer and brings yer inter der armory house
an den dey says. Yer my chile an so I'm
scared. Boston Advertiser