Evening star., 1901-12-07
THE SUNDOWNER'S VIEW


young man who graduated in medicine here
eight years ago, and who is still quite con-
tentedly holding down his little old gov
ernment job. II don't mind being called a
shutdown doctor a little bit. This is a
pretty good town to 'sundown' in. I'd rath-
er 'sundown here in Washington than in
any other place know of. and 1 know of a
lot of places in this country by first-hand
observation. I don't find it such a grue-
some thing to 'sundown' here in the cap
ital of the United States at 1900 per an
mum, not to speak of the average of $500
year that 1 make by actual 'sundowning'
After fellows been snug under the
warm bedding provided by your Uncle Sam
uel it isn't often that he gets to feeling
real warm and cozy when those coverings
unfairly surrenders those coverings he's
liable to feel for the rest of his life that
when the Lady Fortune was smiling upon
him he was idiotic and ungrateful enough
to make faces at her In return. I'm speak
ing now Of the average man. The other
fellows, the chaps who fare forth from the
government employ and make ten-strikes of
such magnitude that they're in a position
to pat themselves on the back for having
made the venture. are pretty nigh as rare
as hens molars.
After 1 graduated in medicine it stung
me to be called sundowner.' I'd grin and
piled the term to me, but 1t got me worked
up inside nevertheless, and finally decided
to make nice heroic effort to turn the
laugh on them. 1 obtained nine months
leave of absence from my government job,
did the old-fashioned stunt Of shutting my
eyes and sticking a pin into a map of the
United States, and that method Of picking
a locality wherein to become prosperous
and famous brought me up in a town of
5000 inhabitants in the middle of Kansas.
l had about 81, 900 saved up, and when I
left Washington 1 brought my teeth to-
gether and determined that I'd go to work
ever return to my government job and give
a gang chance to poke fun at me. 1 put
up my shingle in the Kansas town, raised a
perfectly lovely beard of many colors, and
sat down to wait for sick folks to come
along and hand me money.
We'll, they didn't come. There was an
other doctor in town, an old chap who
looked like Senator PETER, and who gave
'em quinine and calomel and blue mass for
everything from the earache to cholera
morbus. and they all swore by him. They
wouldn't come near me. The old doctor
used to drive by my Office in his blackboard
at licketty- split clip about twenty times a
day. and grin at my sign every time he
went whizzing by. My thousand began to
melt. The townspeople Wouldn't let me pre-
scribe for EN- when they got under the
weather. but their hospitality was red hot
and they invited me to every old thing that
was going on. And if any Of 'em I'D get
sick from eating too much at picnic to
which was invited. burned if they wouldn't
and me right on the ground! I mingled up
in the 'sassiety of the little burg in the
hope that after while they'd begin to take
some stock In me, but it was no go. The
girls I'D go buggy. riding with me and all
that, in accordance with western customs
and they'd stand for all the ice cream blow
outs that l could furnish, but when they
got headache they didn't send paw
around to have me come and prescribe for
them. They'd send for the old gentleman
with the wind-enticing PETERS.
well, after about six months of this
got to thinking Of little old Washington
mixed up with Kansas cyclone, in which
the house that 1 had my shingle tackled
onto was blown to some point near the Ne
braska line, and l had to fix myself out
with another set of instruments and books,
Then the winter came along and like to
froze to death. My 81, 600 was beginning to
look like the bundle most of us have when
we get back from an afternoon at the Ben
ming races, and 1 was so shy on wardrobe
and lot of little comforts that I'd been
addicted to in Washington that 1 fell into
the habit of sitting down and thinking
right studiousiy of this little community
on the banks Of the Potomac And along
toward the season when the Washington
llacs were due to pop, and the Washington
girls to show up in their white fluffy
follow little after that, I caved. Caved
utterly. I'd had enough. I'd made about
$40 In Kansas, which had about kept me in
smoking tobacco. I took down my little
shingle, packed it away tenderly in the
bottom of my trunk and hiked for WASH
ington.
My nine months leave was not quite up,
and erept back to my desk and spent the
hrst two days making figures on my cuffs
as to the things 1 could do with my $50
per month. l found that 1 could do q
startling number Of things with that sure
dough, and 1 took the guying of the gang
without any more resentment than If it had
been so much cool book beer. When they
found out, as they did after while, that
1t didn't bother me to be called a sun
downer' they let UP on that, and 1 don't
hear much Of 1t any more I manage to
pick up quite few handy little iron dol
lars by sundowning' on the side, and I
haven't experienced any profound longing
for fame and the emoluments thereof since
they kindly let me come back here and
stand in line with my pay-slip twice a
month. When you begin to count noses
you'll find that there are mighty few medi-
cal men, In comparison with the vast body
OF them. who pick up from s., 200 to 81 800
per annum as easily as l do. You'll find
on the contrary, that a considerable major
1ty OF them are In such circumstances that
they think they are dissipating heap
when they blow themselves once in a while
to ten-cent cigar. 1 am content to re-
gard my medicine more or less of a lit
tie accomplishment that picked I'D on the
S'uC, Juol do SoiIlc 1ellOWS 20 IN music
or painting or something of that sort as a
side issue. Out Of all the men that grad
uated insmy class I only know three of
them who are making good in genuine
earnest. These three are all Washington
fellows. and they're perfectly miserable be-
cause they can't live in Washington. hav-
ing established themselves in good prac-
tices in other places. There were a number
of fellows in my class who held govern
ment jobs, and who made the stab for
practice in measey Mttle old places to get
away from the 'sundowner' reproach.
Well, you ought to see how soul-hungry
they look when they drift along here to
Washington. as they do once in while,
They always make me think of the way
poor Old Adam must have looked when he
was banished from that nice little garden
of his. They pretend that they are happy
and all that where they are. but the blur
Is woefully thin, and I'll bet there isn't
one of them who wouldn't just snap at
his old government job if the had any
show on earth to get 1t back
I'D rather be called a 'sundowner' any
day than be outside the breastworks More