davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29
If, whistling Yankee Doodle. :"

of whistling Yankee Doodle.
"Of course not" | says-"of course
rot. Was there any disagreement or
quarrel?"
Not a word"
Didn't dispute about the whale
swallowing Jonah. or as to VINO should
build the fires in the winter"
"Not at all. It's just Joe's fickleness.
But I'm going to give him a jar. I'm
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
He Tells His Troubles With the
Policeman.

Copyright, 1901, by c. B. Lewis.)
When opens my shop for peesness, dot
little tailor comes aroundt und says:
Hans. you must start out right. Der
first thing vhas to get a pull nit dot
policemans If you don't you vhas in
troubles"
How vhas pulls?" l says.
"Vhell, you must treat him to peer, hat
a cigar for him unde praise him oop.
Sometimes II vhas well to slip him half a
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

B6 Hero is Man Who Di~prted 1t.
suppose l should not blame you for your
lack of brains. l can scarcely hope to
make the attempt and at least satisfy
your curiosity. Have you ever heard that
there is a magnetic current passing
through TIE earth?"
IL believe I have"
Put you are not sure. While you have
been reading novels and chewing gum
the magnetic current has been flashing
along under your feet without a thought.
In what direction does this current pass"
1T lodges around, doesn't it?"
That's the woman Of it. OF course. but
will so on. The accepted theory of scien-
lists for the last hundred years is that
this current passes through the earth
from north TO south or from pole to pole.
In other words. the poles are sympa-
thetic."
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

II the individual who sent Us a
threatening letter through the mai Sue
other day will call at our sanefH.
he may have the privilege Of six shots
at distance of ten feet. We don't
believe he can hit a billboard befa
his nose. We don't know what SIC
have done to rile him, but we'll give
him every show to work off his bile
The report in the Chicago papers
that the mayor of this town (wh9 Is
ourself) had shot Alderman Skinner
dead during a session Of the common
Council is the yeriest nonsense. The
alderman commended that a motion 10
adjourn was always in order, and We
had to throw him over his desk to sat
isfy him that there were exceptional
instances.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

ma'am2' softly asked one of the officers.
No: it's an experiment" she answered.
with Il new sort of burglar alarm
u think so"
Then | hope it will prove success. I
guess we'd better let him sleep on. though
he may catch cold in tire top of his head. -
Yes; let him sleep.
Then all tiptoed away and left him to
the silent watches of the night and the
new east and west magnetic current.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

DR.. Johnson is the last physician to
hang out his sign among us, and he is
said to be rapidly building up a prac-
tice If it turns out that he knows a
case of the whooping cough from a
compound fracture of the leg, we shall
be glad of his coming. Most of the
other doctors in town picked up their
knowledge in blacksmith shop.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

and each escaped unhurt. That such
men are permitted TO carry guns in
stead of broom handles must in time
make Giveadam Grlch the laughing
stock of the territory. We have per-
sonally given each the cold cut.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

1t is not exactly true that the editor
of this paper, who owns II 900 acres of
desert land, is going into strawberries
next year. He has figured 1t out that
it would take eight barrels of water to
a canal ffty-four miles long to get it.
Our best hold is politics.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

1t may have been observed that The
Kicker never says 'it is alleged so
and so. We always call man a muir
derer or a horse thief If we think he is
one, and If he can convince us to the
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

death proves to be without foundation.
Dan got the morphine all right, but as
there was less than a barrel of it there
was no unpleasant effect.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

During a thunder storm last week
old Jim Hewson was knocked off his
mule on the highway and had the boots
torn from his feet by bolt, but he
never even stopped chewing on hrs
auid of tobacco. The cataclysm which
tackles old Jim has got to get grape
vine lock on him to win.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

We don't say that the critter who put
a bullet through our hat the other
night as we were riding home from
Blue Valley intended assassination, but
we think such jokes out of place and
can't appreciate them. Our feet were
cold for two hours after we got home.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

Major George Scott and ex-Judge
Truesdale fired six shots at each other
in front of the postoffice yesterday,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

contrary we make him an apology.
This keeps things pretty lively, but it
gives general satisfaction.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

The corner was too drunk to hold
an inquest the other day, but it is
probably just as well for posterity
and has saved tine county S12 in cash.
The deceased had two bullets in him,
but of course he died of heart failure.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

The rumor that Dan Mccarthy had
been given morphine for quinine by
Druggist Scott and slept himself to
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

This town is not sending out boom
pamphlets as to its churches. schools.
factories and railroads, but If any man
is looking for a place where he can
get out and yell any time he wants to
or where he can shoot all day long and
not have to look for other people this
place should be given a fair trial.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

We have many requests for photo
graphs of our private editorial grave
yard, but UP to this time none has
been taken. The place Is a small but
beautiful park, and the fourteen head
stones look beautiful against the green
background, but somehow our modesty
shrinks at thought of scattering photo
graphs around the country. We might
be charged with egotism
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

Surrender to Me ON You Vhas a Dead
Mans In Two Seconds!
dollar or send case of peer to his house.
You must also fix his shoes for nottings."
But / shall neffer do 1t. I don't care
for some pulls. 1t vhas cement patches
for feefteen cents. und II / please my
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

We understand that Mr.. John Shine
has returned to Giyeadam Gulch after
a three months residence in New Mex
leo. 1t is said that he didn't exactly
admire the way in which a vigilance
committee danced him around at the
end of a rope. John was always rather
particular on the subject of his neck.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29
ARIZONA KICKLETS.

Copyright. 1901. by C. B. Lewis)
1t will soon be time again for us to
buckle on our guns and interview the
half dozen shyster lawyers who have
brought libel suits against The Kicker
during the past six months. We al
ways enjoy such occasions.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-09-29

Although The Kicker contained ac-
counts of twenty-seven murders, ten
robberies, sixteen conflagraCions and
five steamboat disasters last week,
Major Destro stopped his paper on the
ground that We were making it too
much of a Sunday school sheet A
western editor expects such things
now and then. however, and is not
greatly put out.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1901-01-22
Ell Factor
mas
lmportante.

La Naturaleza ha do
tado al aceite de higa-
do de bacalao como el
factor mas importante
de la reconstruction del
ORGANISING humane. Ell
arte de Scott & Bovine
ha perfeccionado la
obra de la Naturaleza
enriqueciendo las admi-
rabies propiedades del
aceite, haciendolo
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1901-01-22
PROGRESo De LA COMPANIA



garania gobierno inspection de
lei primer paxo auedando aegurado egue
La op1o een % 1 @ sP De RRRGuGoSs RPGH se fR
s p ps pAs4SDo opo n S1a d @
RA ss aSs'4es sea- La cAUsA
s. Gambia cuaque por siepre
su prenIos os M EN Ell EReTuE sEaRo mpe que
de En- @ eaD1 % t4da @ de1as oa
ugar gndes entopeoimeno pucios de los aseg9do
10 Ell aseurado puede cuaue pe mundoy decaa
cusquer ocupaci6n m sin in pagar @ prma extra ~ = ~ J., - !.
vac6n
Ppudegto cad1cidad
ID ] se c 5 a9 @ coe ] anssl@no q @ conas o sea @ ] R
M M0 mo u encm nna e po % % P6iza q No e m
en9 n % para
ja pag parte P6za
sEGURo premio6 premios
eautao as como la ve5 eya nuevo ezamen mco que empe
m Ho ps a@a groeaie 9aa aeeaa o ds al aie9pead0 m
a'eguredos R h en- 9ien de de- sus fspfas po
peva certdcacon auava de buena aud agode
SECURE LIQUID DoDpues pagado premOs
@ 'a{Ssssads Psstsa sa5s@
ETC. etc. de la asegurrda completes
pgos de $1,000 bal
esdo VICENTE yalor POLKA qufdd
pregios para los asegurados que
que orece =
H. SOL DEL CANADA?
supicamo al integse pdoco de esta a la stdo
dc nd as ass % M o ~
Carlos .!os4F;.ssarsoaE r sroaEa
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1901-01-22
Emulsion
de Scott
de Aceite de Hlgado de
Bacalao con Hip0fosfit0s
de Cal y de Sosa.

I agradable, digerible y
( asimilable Y compile
| tando su benefca ac-
I cion con el agregado
. de los hipofosftos.
I Sieinpre que ell orga-
! nismo este debilitado, asf
: como Ell su padecimiento
resultante, la neurastenia
Y en- ell crecimiento Y de-
I sarrollo lento Y difficult
| toso de los ninos, como
| en- la convalescencia de
casi todas las enfermeda-
! des, acudase a la verda-
! dera Y legftima Emulsion
de Scott, con toda con-
! fianza.
De vghta en- todas parties
! SCOTT & BOVINE, Quimicos, New York
-.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1901-01-22
PRlNik-EGI0S .

puede resi- cualquer del mundo
ocupaci0n pagar extra
dias cOrtesa cOnceden
vacion.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

meetings, and more candidates, ano
more summer girls.
Now for little grumblng but il
may not do any good, for we've grum.
bled before and it wasn't worth a cent.
but 1t IS too bad that five hundred
folks should sit on the banks of the
raging Buffalo about three days in the
week and cast their wistful ewes to-
wards the mecca Of Southside Virginia.
ana fear to cross the torrent, and then
turn reluctantly around and 90 to
Prospect. (Mr. Editor, Prospect is a
dIy town. Did you know it?) Well,
my sentence Is getting mighty long,
but what | started to say was, thou
sand feet Of flooring and few scant-
llngs, would remedy all this. Pm
short Of cash but I'll donate a few hun
dred pounds Of sumac to get Buffalo
Bridge liked If enough others will chip
IN to complete the job. Wonder if the
men of Farmville wouIdn' 4
help?
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06
ANOTHER SUMNER GONE.

But yesterday the June roses charm
ed :, today we gather the golden rod
The green Of the leaf is mellowing into
the "sere and yellow" apples redden
in the autumn sunshine, pears hang
heavily upon the dropping branches,
the corn hardens for the grist, the
young birds move on stronger and
steadier wings the sun leaves its bed
at late hour and the evening shadows
come the sooner. Loving mothers and
little children Of the larger cities no
longer crowd the shady sides of streets
nor rush for health to grateful shade
trees i'm public parks. The pleasure
boats are no longer crowded with suf-
locating suffering humanity begging
for breath Of fresh air, and the "small
boy" of the country finds that wash.
ing IN the creek nor bathing in the
pond are not all of life.
Busy men crowd the marts of trade
again refreshed by stay at mountain
resorts or on the seaside. The goddess
of Fashion filings once more new colors,
and new styles, and new shapes. full |
in public view, and school children
with new books, and sharpened pen
ellis, and unwritten scrap books, and
1uickened energies hurry to school.
The frying size chicken assumes the
of the rooster, and the
turkey, all unconscious Of its fate, be-
gins to put on THANKSGIVING airs.
There is more Of night and less of day,
more of shadow and less of sunshine.
more Of time gone and less of time to
Ontinue.
September, the seventh month of the
roman year, the ninth of ours, is with
s. The frost will soon follow, and ,
hen sick children Of New York's tene-
lent rows, who have suffered from
ne heat will shiver in the cold. o
1.-THE harvest is past, the summer \
ended" and --.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

Last Monday was observed as lahoi
day the world over. No doubt but
that our national birth-d day will con.
linue to occupy first place in the hearts
Of our countrymen among our national
holidays, butjust as true, as we believe,
VIII labor day occupy next place. The
Old cry was: Cotton is King and
then iron was so proclaimed. and then
many would recrown the goddess Of
we olden day, Ceres, but in fact and in
truth, IN the past and in the present
labor has been king, and will remain
so to the end.
when the gates Of Eden closed on
our first parents the door of labor omen.
ed wide before them and from then
until now man has been earning his
bread 10y the sweat of his brow.
The command to wash came from God
and as all other commands of an in6n-
llely wise being is Of itself infinitely |
wise In things spiritual we are taught |
TO work out our own salvation, and in
things temporal the last but greatest
of the Apostles; said: "That the man
who didn't work neither shall he eat -
The laborers, be it known, are not
all in mine, or before furnace, or on the
farm. All laborers do not stand at
helm Of ship or in charge of engine Of
fast flying train. All laborlng men do
not labor with their hands, and tired ,
bodies are not the only tired things of
life. The man out in the world is not
The only worker in the family. il
In our sphere Of work, then. let us :
10 Whatsoever our hands find to do
with our might, and when labor dav -
'omes let Us unite with our fellow Z
aborers in heathful aud helpful rest ri
Drones of society should have no part
n labor day.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06
NOVEL SUGGESTION.

Resolved, That no person born with
IN the empire of China or on the cont.
nent of Africa, and no descendant OF
any person born on the continent OF
Africa or within the empire of China
shall have the right to vote in this
State.
Resolved, That the General Assem-.
ply OF Virginia shall have power to en-
force the foregoing section by appro-
pirate legislation.
The Fifteenth Amendment provides
that the right to vote shall not be de-
MED or abridged "on account of race.
color or previous condition of servi-
tude."
The proposed restriction is essentially
geographical, and in no sense racial.
for the continent of Africa alone EN-.
braces within its limits representatives
OF substantially all races-the Anglo.
Saxon, the Teutonic on the south and
west; the French, Spanish Bubu and
Arab of the north, and the Soudan. as
well as the Abyssianians, the KafIirs
and the Congo negroes. 1t thus ap-
plies to all persons, irrespective ofrace.
even born within certain geographical
limits, and their descendants.
Neither is the restriction based ON
color, for it applies equally to all colors.
Of course, it has nothing to do with
previous conditions of servitude," for
embraces both bond and free.
Mr.. Edmund Pendleton is the an
nor Of the above, and it strikes us
With foroa
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

Beware Of Green Fruit.-Now in the
heated term people should pay atten-
ton to their diet, avoiding unripe fruit
ana stale vegetables which invariably
Dfing on cramps, cholera morbus. or
diarrh~a. Children are particularly
subject to complaints of this kind. and
no mother can feel safe without having
bottle Of PAIN-KILLER. 1t is a safe
sure ana speedy cure. Avoid substi.
tules there is but one Pain-Killer.
Perry Davis. Price De. and soc.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06
"wEIGHTED DOWN WITH GoLD. ,,

A Pacific steamer went down in
mid-ocean recently carrying with it a
large majority of those on board. If
Is reported that many sank weighted
down with gold"
Ihis is not peculiar to the sea. Thou.
sands and tens of thousands are daily
ana hourly going down on shore grasp
Ing for gold. The struggle is intense
agonizing, soul-destroying and no les.
son from bitter experience makes I'M.
preston on the agonized aspirants.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

y TIE CLERKS OFFICE OF THE CIR.
'llI COURT Of the County of Ruckino
nam on The DIST day of August. 1901.
Nopefl GILLIAN, plainffn
against '''''i'
IL CHANCERY
Inc OBJECT OF This suit is to set aside and
annul the deed from Robert Gillian TO Da.
wa Johnson Tor fraud ana want of consider.
alloli' daied on The 2nd day Of Nav laOO In "a
tract OF land In Buckingham Comfy. con.
ialnlhg 10 acres. which said deed is of record
in Dced Book I'D, page hi5. of the Comfy
Court Clerk Office of Buckingham comfy
o., \ nd an affidavit having been made and
nled That the defendant David Johnson h.
hoi resident Of the State OF Nitpinia A. h
0Iutred mat ne do appear here within fifteen
u4Ns AFTER due publication hereof and do
Nnat may De- necessary to protect his inter.
.sl IN ihis suit And IL Is further ordered
snat "a copy hereof be published once n week
LOT iour successive weeks i'm the Farmville
iiieraid' and that "A copy be posted M The
lIoili uoor OF the Courthouse OF this counf,
p lne ifSi day OF the next term of the
county Court VI '''
\ copy-Teste:
W., -, u. A. FORBES, Clerk.
'' '''"''0i'I' y v' sept. eft.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

The Beers have no conception of
what whipping means. They fight
as though they were winning all the
victories. Their courage and endur-
ance ought to make brave men the
world over unite in demanding their
freedom.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

The Richmond Times has rendered
good service in collecting and giving
to the public the views of members of
the Norfolk Convention on submission
OF the work Of the Constitutional Con-
vention to the voters of the State
Mr.. H. 5. Paulett, whose good judg.
ment the people Of this section all re-
spect, says: 81 think procaiming the
Constitution will give more general
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

Hon. Chauncey Depew went dust
ed In Wall Street recently, and was
forced to step over to the Office of J. p.
Morgan to negotiate the loan Of a nick
ell with which to pay his way up town.
Nothing is said of the beer. May be
friend Morgan "set 'em up"
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

While the King Of England is paid
$1,000 day Senator Clark's conner
mines yield him $4,000. You can't
down the American boys, and there is
no use irving.
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

The dancing masters of London. have
ISSUED prospectus bearing on corona.
'on week. in which they make the
startling announcement that American
glris VIII not be allowed to take mart
10 the dances unless they are first
taught by English masters
Let the American girls be conspic.
uous 10y staying away. The idea of an
Engllshman teaching an American
girl grace OF movement is ridiculous
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

Two of Paul Kruger's sons have been
Killed in battle, one daughter died as a
result OF the privations of the war, and
now his wife is dead, while the veneer
able President of the TransvaaI Repub.
lie is an exile from his country
The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1901-09-06

Clerk Button has been boastinp of
tate that Tom Martin, "his friend y
mas "a majority of the State commit
Tee" by the neck, we presume. and in
this connection we are forced 70 coz
snat CIerk Buttons "friend" is not a
Trend OF the Democratic voters of Vir-
gina. They have "set ON him. and
II ne doesn't know it they will mash
hlm. And one of the most effectuaI
ways or doing this is to get rid of his
sympathlzers i'm office. The new Iegis.
iature should be elected with reference
10 this in part. 1t would be well fo
Oegln this wedding out process with
the clerk himself l-FarmvilIe Herald
Let us admonish the Herald that
such articles as the foregoing are moi
conducive to the much needed barmo. |
ny IN the Democratic party at a time
when the enemy is forming his line NJ
Oattle and hoping to profit by dissen'
slOns in the Democratic ranks Thera
uas oeeh no time since the days of
IeauJustment when it was more ne.
'essary than it is now that Democrats
~ All strlpeS, to use the words of the
Pilot, SHOULD get together
'hu quit dIscouraging one another and
the enemy. The Demo.
ratic party has reached that crisis in
Is affairs when it may well ask 10 be
eiiVered from some of its friends
'etersburg Index-Appeal
And let us admonish the Index.
appeal that such Boosting on the mart y
the friends of Tom Martin is often. c
We TO large majority of the Demo. c
attic voters of Virginia, who are NOT $
Hing to submit longer to Martin "
'sslsm. "If this means treasonp TO b
ar'ln and his, make the most of itp n
'me friends mean foes "