Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1901-03-06

simple folks and not Fashionable, and
so did not fall into the hands of the
surgeon, but Maria said this was due
to her extreme caution in selecting
food for our table.
appendicitis, said Maria with a sort
of differential look" has been here all
the time, only, like the bacilli and mi
crobes, we did not know it. Now we
do, are liable to have it,
1t was the time of fruits. Gods own
gift to nature, but we ate no grapes,
Wberries or currants for fear o.
their being dead shots for appendicitis.
1t was this time of fruit that 1 called
Maria's attention to the fact tina peo-
pie who ate all these things seemed to
be as we'll as those who did not
Maria l said with a rebellious air,
don't you know the doctors are on the
| lookout for a vermiform appe..Six, IL
respective of what anyone has eaten
| or proposes to eat?'
| To which Maria replied that lit was
| we'll to be on the safe SIDE" meaning,
| of course, the opposite to the Appendix
| citis side, and cut all fruit from our
| table. l am particularly fond of to-
matoes, and we had been eating them
| freely when Maria came across an ar
| ticle in the Lancet or some other med
| ical journal, saying they produced cam
| GER Instantly we tabooed tomatoes.
/ Of course, we had known all along that
| cucumbers and watermelons gave one
| cnolera morbus. so these were entered
on the death list early in our house
keeping venture. All this rather lm-
| tied our diet, but my Wife was lnse-
Nous and concocted a great many
\ no falt right
and we always boiled the drinking
1 water We had PORK and beans occa-
siona1ry like my New England ances-
| tors and once in while Maria allowed
! a pie to decorate our table. However,
| one day / ran across an article stating
half the woes of the world We're due
to indigestion, and New England stom-
achs, caused by New England pork and
! beans, had caused more crime in the
world than we We're aware of.
F., Maria" l remarked as we partook
| of our dinner, I'VE must instantly stop
pork and beans. Think of the New
| England stomach as factor in crime,
and ! called her attention to the fact
that Lombroso had entirely overlooked
this in writing his "Female Offender"
"Still," said my wife, who was al
ways hopeful, 1--WE have our bread,
oNOS'' '''NO'~'-'-N
bread, ana l am sure we boil all the
water we use"
| We rested calmly on the assumption
| that all was well and we We're devour-
| lingo no microbean morsels, when. t
Maria's horror, she one day discovered
that white bread had a tendency to
produce diabetes, and that beef and
| tapeworm went together. The utter
despair that followed these discoveries
produced a complete reaction, and we
decided to eat everything, microbes and
all. Still We boiled the water an shun-
ned as deadly any that had not gone
through the distilledanti- bacilli pro-
cess. In fact, Maria had ascribed my
immunity from typhofu fever, diphthe
ria and pneumonia, let alone prema
ture badness and other misfortunes, to
this saving process, and we had often
smiled as we realized that he had got
the better of defunct frogs and mi
crobes with 1ong names and short legs,
knowing they could not harm a family
whose aqueous beverage had been
boiled, distilled, filtered and kept her.
meticaly sealed until used
Maria taxed much of this. / heard
her tell her friends in bursts of sudden
confidence, just how many twists she
gave to the top of the jar to be sure it
was sealed. ! heard her dilate on how
we'll I had been in consequence, and ]
listened while she told how she stood
the jar on it's head to see if anything
ran out. Maria got me and the bottle
and the f~'H:,etically sealed and stand
ing on the head process so mixed in
her auditors mind that determined to
have my revenge.
I was passing newsstand one day
| a 10
The first thing that met my gaze was
an article upon the ill-repute in which
boiled water should be held. When 1
saw that DR.. Hoppe, a learned and re-
spected member of medical societies
without number, was the writer, and
that the excerpt was from the Deutshe
Medicinashe Wochscrift, I knew it was
al right. The length and unntelligibil-
ity of the name gave me utter conf
dence. / waited until we We're at the
dinner table and the maid had just
filled out glasses with our boiled dis
titled filtered -hermetically-s sealed until
used water, when l opened my attack.
Maria I said with feigned solicit
tude, you are not looking we'll; what
is the matter?'
ooh, nothing" replied my wife smil-
ingly, II have had in fact, a delightful
ed around, drank some of that pure
spring water and came home
MY dear girl 1 cried, holding up
my hands in affected horror. TT is
wonderful you are alive. Do you know
so little that you drink spring water?
1T is too pure. 1t does not contain salts
and hence the microbes in it cannot
live"
"Pshaw," exclaimed Maria with sort
of don't-trifie- with me air, 'Thaddeus
you are crazy. You know we boil all
our table water just to get rid of these
microbes, and after it is boiled we
put"
Maria" I cried, as gave my glass
a push away from my plate, spare me
the details know it all, and we have
been all wrong. Here I am coming