The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-01-06


ed. The fighters herelbouts have hgu. ed
up the chances, and they are unanimous
ly of the opinion that Terry McGovern
will beat Benny Yanger, if they ever
meet, as far as a stake horse could beat
selling platter.
Joe Choynski and Matty Matthews are
the two latest opponents of the art pugil-
istic to enter the ranks of the Thespians.
Truly this is the gilded age of the dra-
matte profession. Much has been writ
ten and said regarding the desired ele-
walton of the stage and assuredly- the
wearers of the buskin should unite in
heartfelt anthem of praise to tho
knights of the battered countenances who
persist in giving the lime-lit boards a
lift by virtue of their abnormally devel-
oped muscles.
In the eternal fitness of things Mat
thews is assigned the part of a typical
tough in the farce comedy in which he
figures That his visage, SCARED by the
buffets of many an irate adversary, is
eminently suited to the character he
chooses to portray nobody will venture
to doubt. Aiatty's face, in the language
of James McBirnie, is thing to dream
about and carve on the head of pipe
afterwards. 1t is vision of soul-siek-
ening ugliness, living nightmare which
mas no business moving around III the
daylight frightening sensitive people in
to conniption fits. But after all this is
not Mattys fault. Moreover, it is said
that he was once a good-looking fellow.
This must have been a long time ago
though.
It only remains for Kid Broad and
Charley Burns to join the Matthews
troop, and then the beauty show will be
complete.
Score another victory for Bob Fitzsinn-
mons. The ex-Australian pugilist dis
tinguished himself at Newark, n. j., one
night last week by joining in a chase af-
ter turkey thief, knocking the fowl
pirate down and out with a left-hand
swing, eXtinguishing the 'pal' who came
to the offenders rescue and returning
triumphantly with the spoiis of war to
the rightful owner Fitzsimmons' atti-
tude in the turkey matter is distinct
lively novel one for pugiliSt to assume
AS a general thing the average fighter
is willing to strain himself in the en-
deavor to get hold of something belong
ing to somebody else. But when it
comes to eXerting his prowess for an
outsiders benefit he is usually very mod
est about coming to the front. There
fore, let us award all honor and praise
to the gallant clover-top for his nleri-
torious action.
Apart from the chiyalric features of
Bob'S performance it must have been. a
cheering sight to see the lanky antipo-
dean, with set teeth and clnched hands,
the winter wind blowing merrily through
his scanty auburn locks, splinting with
lengthy strides along the public thor
oughfare in pursuit of the felon and the
stolen bird. How Robert was renen2-
bered for his noble deed history sayeth
not Perhaps the grateful owner ii the
much-handled turk bestowed tie
carcass of the erstwhiie proud fowl on
Fitz for his pains. IN any case virtue
is said to be its own reward, and per-
chance the success of the late struggle
fof the right may spur F'itz on TO yet
more glorious Ceeds.
Verify, there are days OF advance, and
the new woman is more than boiling
her own. From Topeka, Ean, comes
the news of a prize fight promoted ny
fair maiden, n&ced Clara Hanback,, in a
barn loft the contes tants being two
suitors for her hand. 1t is also said
that the giddy promoter acted in the
dual role of timekeeper and referee,
counting the seconds off with commend
able GOODNESS, while one of the princi-
pals reclined on the ring floor in state
of coma produced by his rivals punches.
The, names of the pugilistic lovers are
Clarence Austin and Alfred Hale, the
latter proving the victor. AS a result
of his strenuous struggle for dear loves
sake Hale entered the bonds of holy
matrimony with the blushing Clara one
day last week.
This is all very well, but when the in
toXicating glamor of the honeymoon has
in a measure subsidized 1t is Just possible
that Hale may be troubled with unusual
thoughts. For Ii is hard to tell what
drastic and autre measures a lady Of
Clara's strenuous temperament might
employ in dealing with a refractory hus-
band, should domestic complications
arise.
Supposing for arguments sake that
the aggrieved wife should invite her
hubby to settle a dispute with the four
ounce lnitts. What kind of a position
would the startled Hale find himself
placed in? Evidently he must either
smite be smitten. TO comply with
the first alternative would bring down
upon his devoted head the indignation of
the neighbors, should he happen to cross
a right to the jaw with an unnece ssary
amount of vigor. To submit to the
second and receive what "One-Eyed'
Jimmy Connolly might term "a bloody
good ding" would effectually deprive
him of his just rights as lord of crea-
ton, and place him among the sorrow
ing ranks of the henpecked. LII either
case the modern Quixote who battled
for his ladys favor would assuredly
have a remarkably tough row to hoe.
We can but hope for the best, however,
and trust that there be not dark and
dismal days ahead for the Hale Han
back outfit.
When the news of Kid McCoy's return
to his native land was announced sports
men throughout the country resigned
| themselves to their fate and prepared for
the inevitable storm of press notices
with which the astute Indianian usually
heralds his arrival or departure from any
given point But the result was even
worse than anticipated The columns Of
gush and slush that have been printed
regarding the Kids domestic troubles
| nauseating enough to turn the stomach
of billy goat accustomed to steady
diet of yellow journal paper. The whole
tiresome story hinged on the separation
and later rumored reconciliation of Nc
Coy and his former wife. Just what in
terest the love trials of a pugilist have
to the public in general il is hard to
say. Yet every time that one of these
human bulldogs gets tangled up with a
tlme-worn soubrette, or has falling out
with his wife, every little detail of his
trouble is duly chronicled by the press
with fidelity worthy of better cause.
But the Mccoy episode is more than
usually sickening. The tale of the Hoos-
Ter boxers woes read like one of those
mushy girlygirly romances so dear to
the susceptible hearts of the art1ess high
school female graduate.
According to the reporter who met Nc
Coy upon his return to New York, the
Kids limpid eyes glistened, his voice be-
came husky, and several times he turn
ed away overcome by emotion when the