The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-03-22

,lcu1y. LES, Ae AOSt COuLiOl u LIS
automobile. Eek.
She did you ever take part in ANA
eur theatricals? He-Once; but I'm all
light now.-Town Topics. =
what do you think of a man who
>verdraws his bank accountY' 1T
sn't much to his credit" Town Top
cS.
One of His Friends-Does he write
'or publication? Another-Oh, no!
Merely for circulation among the edit
ors.-Puck.
Caddie Gin stage whisper to Bif1n,
Who is frightfully nervous)-Don't you
get nervous, sir! It's all right; I've
:old every one of 'em you can't play
Punch.
Housekeeper-1'd just like to know
Why you go tramping through the coun-
ny? Mouldy A1ike-Well, mum, I've
beard that these ERE palace cars is
:ather stuffy, mum.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures fly, don't
they, Missis Flannigan? Mrs. Flanni-
gan-1ndade they do; awnly this week
wan left me widout payin' his rint.-
Columbus (Ohio) State Journal.
Accommodating old man: Hell ask
ed your fathers consent by telephone.
She-What was his answer? He-He
said: II don't know who you are, but
it's all right" -Harvard Lampoon.
Mamma plying the strap)-There,
there, and there! Now, don't let me
catch you in the pantry again. Tommy
Boo! hoo! I tried not to let you catch
me this time.-Philadelph Record.
The romances of history: And what
did the teacher say when Johnny Coop
said that Richard Carvel discovered
American" "He said Johnny shouldn't
take those historical novels so serious
y."-Baltimore American.
A Writer'S Aspirations: They We're
looking through the library. IF you
had the divine gift, what would you
rather write?' asked the romantic
young woman. Cheeks" replied the
sordid young man.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Lady-Well, what do you want?
Tramp-Leddy, believe me, I'm no Or
binary beggar. l was at the 'front.'
Lady with interest)-Really- Tramp
Yes, ma'am; but couldn't make any
body hear, so came round to the back.
Punch.
Mr.. Johnsing-Am yo' sho' yo' kin
suppoht nah daughtah in de style to
which she hab been accustomed? Mr..
White-Yes, sab; but OBJ cou'se We'll
hab to lib wifi yo' TO- a yeah or so, till I
git we'll acquainted wifi de style yo'
speak OBJ.
Aikson-What are you doing for your
grip? Paynes-Nothing. My wife says
It's providential I've got it. Twice since
caught it my coughing and sneezing
in the middle of the night have scared
burglars away from the house.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Social Rivalry: HAS your wife much
social ambition?" Social ambition!
When she read about Lady Curzon's
elephant party in India, she said if she
knew where she could rent some
whales, she'd give a whale party. DE
troit Free Press.
Patrick was true son of Erin, al
ways happy, aad always ready for his
joke. One day farmer in passing him
shouted, good-humoredly: BAD luck
to you, Patrick!". "Good luck to you,
SIR" was Pats answer, land may nay
Their Of us be right
The Cake Fell: Mrs. Newlywetl-l
had horrid luck with my cake. Mrs.
Binthare-Too bad-did it fall? Mrs.
Newlywed-Yes; placed it on the win
dow-ledge to cool. and my husband,
either by accident or design. pushed 1t
ff."-Cleveland State Journal
"Where is Josiar" asked Mrs. Corn.
tossel uneasily. WELL" answered her
husband, as he proceeded to fill his
pipe, Il won't say fur certain. If the
ice is as strong as he thinks it is, he's
gone skatin'; and if it amt, he's gone
swimmin'"- Washington Star:
Those Dear Girls: Tess-Mamma
was rummaging through the attic to-
day, and she found the cradle l used
when l was baby; she was going to
throw it out, but I wouldn't let her
Jess-I should say not; antiques are all
the rage now.-Philadelphia Press.
Sadly Overrated: THAT city mar
that was visiting me is an overrate(
cuss," remarked the farmer. ''HoN
500" "Oh, the papers all said he wa:
a great hand at watering stock, but
| found he couldn't work the pump five
minutes without tanning his arm."-'
Chicago Evening Post.
Pooling the Cabman: he had jus
got home at In the morning, after .
long drive. "Stop q bit, cabman," h
said; you must wait until bring 1
light; I've dropped SO bill somewhere
in the bottom Of your cab" The cab
man drove of furiously-but he didn'
find the money.-Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. LIE Jecks-Well, Miss Coldcash,
suppose you received good man.
birthday cards? Miss Coldcash (sweet
lY)-Oh. yes; and there was one partie