davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
Some Childish Humor.

Here are some specimens ce-childish
humor from the Chicago Nsws:
"Oh, mammal exclaimed 4-year. old
Flossie. as she observed the moon i'm
its second quarter, "oome and look at
the moon. Half of it is pushed into
the sky, and the other half is sticking
out"
Tommy, aged 5, had been busy
whiting, and managed to raise blis-
ter on his hand, which caused slight
break in the skin. Running to his
mother, he showed it to her and said,
Mamma, I guess I'm beginning to
wear out
did they sing any pretty songs at
Sunday SCHOOL, asked a mother Of
her little 4year-old daughter upon
her return home. "Only one,' re-
piled the littl, miss. "It was some
thing about ''Greeland's ice cream
mountains.
Papa-Wcll, Willie, have you been
good boy to day? Small Willie
Did you ask mamma? "Why should
/ ask her? Don't you know whether
you have been good or not?" eyes,
but mammals idea of goodness differs
from mine, and I don't want to go
back on anything she says"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
cures Blood and Skin Troubles.

TRIAL TREATMENT FREE.-Is your
blood poor? Is 1t thin? Nose bleed
ing and headache? Pricking pains in
the skin2 Skin pale? Skin feel hot
and swollen? All run down. Ie
your blood bad? Have you Pimplesp ?
Eruption? Scrofula? Eating Sores?
Itching, burning Ezcna? Boils? Ul-
GERS? Cancer? Scaly Eruptions?
Skin or Scalp itch? Tired out with
aches and pains in bones aud joints2
Have you hereditary or concentrated
Blood Poison? Ulcers in the throat
or mouth? Swollen glands? Rheu.
matism? AS tired in morning as
when you went TO bed? Ho~- they
resisted medical treatment: IF you
have any of the above troubles B. BIB.
Botanic Blood Balm) should be taken
at once. B. B. B. has peculiar eff
feet different from any o1her blood
medicine-it drains the impurities,
poisons aud humc1s TINT cause all
above troubles out ofithe blood, bones
and entire system, healing every sore,
restoring to the Skin the bloom of
perfect health, and neking new, rich
Blood.
Trial treatment of B B. B. free by
addressing BLOOD BALM co.
Atlanta, GA. Describe your trouble,
aud we will include free medical ad-
vice. B. b. b. meyer fails to cure
quickly aud permanently, after all
fails. Thoroughly tested for 80 years.
Over 1900 voluntary testimonials Of
cures by B. 3 B. Hill. Orr Drug Co., /,
White & White and Evans Phar-
macy.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
DEAN & RATLIFFEE. :
NOTICE TO DEBTORS:

NOTICE TO DEBTORS:
Our Collector his rounds in short
while BE prepared for him. money
yourself the expense trip y you must come at once
our office and arrange your DEAN g. RATTJFFE
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
PINEVlLLE STORIES.
g a Night in a Graveyard .

awake. and in spite Of his fears, he be-
gun to nod little.
just then something sneezcd.
"Ugh! ses Bill; whats that?"
But he soon come to the conclusion
that he must have been sneezin in
his sleep; aud after seein that his
pistol was safe and takin another
drink, he was soon in the lend ce Ned
agin.
About this time old Mr.. jenkins $
gang of goats come out of the thicket,
whar they had got through the gap in
the graveyard fence, and with old
white Bellshazer in the lead, come
smellin about whar Bill was watchin
for the ghost.
Old Bellshazer is monstrous big
goat, and one Of tho ondacinnsest old
cusses to but in all Georgy, and the
old rascal, seein Bill settin thar all
alone by himself, he goes up and
smells at him. Bill NODDED to him in
his sleep. The goat stepped back a
step or two and Bill NODDED agin. The
ola iSiier took IL for banter shore
enough. and comm forward and raisin
up on his hind legs little, he took
deliberate aim, and spapg he took
Bill right between the eyes, knockin
him and his horse pistol off at the
same time.
Bang. goes the pistol, roarin out on
the still night air, like young fvc-
FOUNDER, so everybody in town heard
it, and the next mint you mought
heard Bill hollerin "Murder murder!"
for more'n mile.
The whole town was reused in no
time, and everybody that could go vas
out to the graveyard as quick as they
could git thar.
Thar was Bill Wilson laying sprawl
ed out on the ground, with his nose
knocked rs fat as pancake, and both
his eyes. buuged up so he couldn't tell
daylight from dark.
The goats was skcered as bad as Bill
was at the pistol, and was gone before
he fairly touched the ground. Bob
Morclaud and Tom Stallins, who had
gone out to the graveyard to sheer
Bill, havin tuck care to change the
pistol what he loaded for one that had
no bullets in it, got thar jest in ,timo
to see his encounter with old Bell
shazer. They was the first ones to git
to him, but it was 80 dark and they
was raped up in white sheets so Bill
didn't know EN-. The more they
talked to him and shuck him, the
louder he hollered, till they thought
he would go into fit.
After awhile he came to his senses.
Somebody struck light and Bill seed
whar he was. He swore he was wide
awake all the time and that when the
ghost come up Co him he tuck fair
crack at lt, When all OF sudden
clap of thunder and lightnin knocked
him clean out of his senses.
Bob More1and tried to explain to
him hoW !. vas. But /; was all no
use. He swore that the ghost was Blk
foot high, and that he smelled the
birthstone and seed the lightnin jest
as plain as he ever seed lightnin in his
life.
The next day Bill claimed the
stakes, and everybody said ho ought
to have the money. which was given
up to him. But you may depend Bill
Wilson wouldn't have sieh another
ghost-fght, not for all the money in
Georgy.
The fence was mended whar it was
broke in the thioket, and ther has
never been any more glosts seed in,
that graveyard ever sense.
MAJOR JOSEPH JONES.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06

= A young wife who lost her hus-
band by death, telegraphed the sad
tidings to her fathcr in these succiant
words: "Dear John died this morn
ing. Loss fully covered by insur-
aa0ee. e''
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
Had Proved II.

A good story was told at an election
meeting the other night. An Irish
man obtained permission from his cm-
psoyer to attend wedding. He turn
ed up the next day with his arm in a
sling and black eye.
Hello, what is the mattcr?" said
his employer.
well, you see,' said the wedding
guest, i've were very merry yesterday,
aud saw a fellow struttiug about
with swallow tailed coat and white
waistcoat. = And who might you hc?'
said |. I'm the bcs. man, sez he,
and bcgorra he was, too. - Scotish
Amcricun
If women were all bald they
would probably still buy hair-pins SO
they would have them to put in their
mouths.
= You can always tell IN old bach
elor and married mau apart by the
way they hold baby. The old bach
elor keeps his arm outside tho clothes.
= Fish frozen alive have remarkable
vitality. Carps frozen 36 hours have
been known to hop about lively when
thawed out.
The main disadvantages abou.
being married is that a man never
dares to brag any more about what
his ideal woman is like.
- She'll never marry 6 r,au
whose fortune hasn't at least Eve
ciphers in it. He (exultingly)-Oh,
darling, mine all eiphers.
1t took 500, 900 pounds Of candy TO
safety the Christmas demand in St.
Louis.
- Boiled alligator flesh tastes very
much like veal. It is much eaten in
India.
- One man can make 5000 tin cans
in one day by inc aid of improved ma
chinery.
= The British museum has three
copies of the Bible written on the
leaves cf the fan palm.
- Il Missouri murderer has been ,
on conviction, sentenced to SO years
in the penitentiary.
= The first American cotton fac
tory was established in 1887 at East
Bridgewatcr, Mass.
Fourteen women received tho
Doctors degree last year at the Uni
vcrsity of Zurich
= According to the provcrb, "Money
makes tho mare co. This is prob
ably due wholly to her sex.
= 1t man always does his duty on
little occasions he will know just how
TO act on great occasions.
= 1t is easier for a young man to
fool his own mother than it is for him
to fool any other woman.
An irrevercnt writer says that
Satan's fall was probably due to his
having slipped on a peal of thunder.
When some men get religion tho
very next bone they give their dog
will have more flesh on it.
Not counting the national capi.
cal, there are Al towns and cities bear
ing the name Of Washington.
- A few days ago at Littleton, N.
H., che mercury changed from 40 be-
low to 40 above inside of "a hours.
= The Persians give names to
every day in the month, the same as
we give them to the days of the week.
They who misjudge are apt to be
misjudged.
- Sure things are more or less un-
certain.
mot guilty" isn't t necessarily an
innocent remark.
= Stimulants seldom hurt man
if he leaves them alone.
Be sure you are right-then
pause moment for reflection.
- A good conscience is the most re.
liable witness o man can have.
- That which cost no thought is
worth no thought.
= Ten per cent. Of the mon who 20
to Cape Nome never come back alive.
- Accusing another often means
nothing more than excusing yourself.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
BANK OF PENDLETON,

FENDLETONy ~. e..
GOLICIfS Accounts Of Firms and In
- dividuals, feeling sn re- it can give as
goud service as any Bank outside of the
large cities
Interest allowed on Timo Deposits by
agreement.
J.J. SITTON, Cashier.
Feb l3, 1901 81 4
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
FOR SALE.
Ten Cars Ear Corn.
CELY g. BRO,
Greenville. sc.
w q R ~ D NC.


THE following persons are under Con
tract with me and have loft my employ
without cause. All persons are warned
no, to hire them:
BEN HALL.
WILLIAM HOOK,
CYRUS BLlXf\G,
PRESS MOATES,
JES f II RM.'N,
LAWRENCE ORR,
BUTLER tiARTIN,
JOHN WESLEY,
WILLIAM MCCALL,
DAVE SCOTT,
ISRAEL JACKSON,
SAM JOHNSON,
JOHN CLINK-CALES,
LEE CLINKSCALES,
SQUIRE II RRIS,
ARTHUR ROSA MOND,
NOAH REEVES,
Ell LA G. REEVES.
w. G. HAMMOND HAM
Feb. 26. 1901 36
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06
NowfOr Another Century !!
NNNNNNNN~NNM

HE nineteenth gone forever of the rumbnc
whee OF lime reverbea down the ages the noiv
our neveesng trucks keeps rapid of this
panoramic show-h trucks that howl from from
our wareroos DEANS PATENT FLOR to sais tho
OF e thousands who constantly for
o Lean Faten one thing they WILL have pure
and Wholesome and aeaher
cal SO they can't afford to be without
Inc people OF this century demand good earned
money ana that ~hs them DRY GOODS
every pound COFFEE in gallon Of MOLASSES every
OF CORN and We them genuine and original
ss triumph Irish Potatoes the market lust what thew
ac we give them the best there be they are not
pleased gives pleasure refund their our
open to Thn celebrate IN
the friends of the trading public
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06

- Some people would rather do
thing twice than do it right in the
arst place.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1901-03-06

Three thousand Bushels Of TIXAS RUST PROOF OATS
One Car of that famous HENRY OAT Grazing
only Oat that will positively stand any kind of
Have received I've Cars of fine
Have received Three Of for
hogs and much cheaper than other feed and much
Yours respectfully,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25
10 CORNER ATHLETICS
Great Trust lie Base Ball and
Other Professional Athletics
Organized.
Maenates of the NationalL League
at the Head Of the
Project.
The Capital II Is Said Will Be
s5O.oCo, 1000. Objects Of
Combine.

New York, Sept. 25.-The Evening
World says: A great trust in base ball
and professional athletics is being or
ganized by the magnates of the Nation
al League, headed by President Hart, OF
Chicago, and Andrew Freedman, of New
York. Articles of incorporation of the
National Athletic Company. which is to
be the name of the new combination,
have been drawn up and the promoters,
expect to complete the project so rap
IDLY that they will have control Of pro-
fessional athletics before the opening of
the season next spring. Tremendous
saving in expenses and the abolition of
the costly warfare now waged by rival
organizations and between rival mag
mates and players is contemplated.
Whether the promoters expect to seek
control at once of cricket, and athletic
sports In other branches outside of base
ball. they will not say. The contem-
plated capital stock is s50,000,000. The
main object of the combine will be to
merge the National and American
leagues.
Andrew Freedman said there was not
a word of truth in the story that he was
concerned in a project for the formation
of company to control base ball and
other professional athletics. He also
denied the knowledge Of the existence
OF such an enterprise.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25
GRAIN TRADE WAS Dull
Wheat Opened Bearish and
Trade Was Small--The Close
Was Lower.
Corn Market Dull and a Shade
Lower..0ats Easy to Shade
Lower.
Hogs Nickel to a Dime Lower
..Cattle Slow to Steady.
Sheep Lower.

E Chicago, Sept. 25.-wheat today
opened bearish with small trade. De-
cember started shade lower at 7ok@
7oss on liberal receipts and Indifferent
cables. With no outside support it de-
clined to TOSS, but on little covering rail-
lied to 70a.
On the report of an export demand
December sold to 70&. but reacted and
touched bottom at the close ss9A CT a
cent lower at 7oA@7oss.
December corn opened dull, M@A
lower, on reports that crop damage by
frost was not general and steady cables.
Local selling caused slight decline,
but some commission house buying
steadied the market at 5SS.
Corn felt some influence from the ex-
Port demand and December sold to So.
but dullness prevailed and the close was
weak, * Of q cent lower at 5Sia@5sss.
Oats opened easy. December opened a
shade lower at s6ss@s61s. Early bust
ness was confined to scalpers and there
vas hardly any fluctuation in prices.
Provisions We're quiet and lower, in
sympathy with lower hogs.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25
rhe south and Mckinley.

lCNGw orleans t>lCayuQe.J
If 1t is asked why the people Of the
south should have held in such regard a
chief magistrate who was northern
man and the standard bearer of politi-
cal party to which the people of
these states have been constantly OPP
posed, the answer is difficult. 1t was be-
cause that northern man loved the south
and used his high Office as much as he
could to heal It's wounds and right the
wrongs under which its people had suf-
fered.
It was thru political sectionalism that
the greatest wrongs and the heaviest
losses had been inflicted on the people of
these southern states, and it was under
McKinley's administration that the
chasm which had so long been open,
like an impossible gulf of hate. between
the north and the south, was most near
ily closed, and 1t was thru his special ex-
ertions and desire that this noble work
of justice and righteousness had been
accomplished.
1t would be manifestly unjust to Pres
}ident Cleveland to forget his earnest and
active labors in that direction, and how
The appointed southern men to the cabi-
net, to ambassadorships and to places in
every department of the national serv-
Ice: but he was a democrat, and only
showed his regard for the democratic
south. 1t was only northern president.
who was also republican, that could
perfect this great work, and that man
was William Mckinley.
1t was noble and holy work, and well
was 1t done.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25
sock and pu.kin.

In the early ages theatrical performers
disguised their faces with wine lees or a
rude pigment. Eschylus, the famous
tragic poet. introduced masks. which were
of various kinds. expressing every age.
country, condition and complexion. All
were constructed with the greatest nicely
and precision. The dresses were also
adapted to the characters assumed by
the actors. What was known us the bus
kin was hunting boot. Those worn by
Itrngedians had soles three inches thick,
composed OF layers of cork, and were
laced up in front rs high as the calf.
Sandals were also worn, and many OF
these had thick cork soles. The colors Of
the foot coverings were various, red being
the favorite hue for warriors and purple
for other characters. Slaves wore q low
shoe, bearing the name Of sock, which
WINS also the ordinary footwear Of come
dams. From this circumstance arose the
well known phrase of sock and buskin, -
SO generally associated with the drama.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25
CHARGES AGAINST DEvERY.
Head Of New York Police May Be Re-.
p,aovAd

Head Of New York Police May Be Re-.
moved.
New York, Sept. discharges of Sc
rious nature. which may result in re-
movai, were made yesterday against w.
S. Devery, the deputy police commits
sioner, by the Merchants Association.
agents Of which body have been investi-
Cutting for some time the affairs Of the
department and the actions of the depu-
jty commissioner. in particular at the
police trials.
The association officers declare that II
a hearing is not granted they will APP
peal to Mayor Van Wyck. The charges
were handed to Commissioner Murphy
at headquarters.
The charge is that Devery is guilty of
injustice. tyranny and oppression in his
official capacity as first deputy commits
sioner of police while presiding at the
trials Of members Of the police force.
The specifications include this dia-
tribe against magistrate who dis
charged man suspected of burglary:
ut is impossible for the police depart
ment to stop these burglaries when the
magistrates will not hold the persons
we arrest anu IdNS eSlucLSS ta6dlASl.
Magistrate Poole is one of these men.
Here is a young man who confessed that
he was going to make burglary. He
was found in the wagon that took the
stuff away, with the baggin' beside him
and sittin' on Jimmy. And yet Magis-
trate Poole discharged him. If that
isn't case of malfeasance in office I'd
like to know what is.
"Its your duty, captain, ITO make a
report of that to the commissioner, and
recommend that he bring the matter
before the district attorney touching
upon an Indictment. It's your duty to
let the business people of that district
know how this. case was treated, and
that Magistrate Poole discharged the
driver of the wagon after we arrested
him. They want to know that when
the police arrest men like that Magis-
trate Poole cuts 'em loose into the street
to ply their vocation over again. This
young man and those two others are
guilty of all those burglaries in that dis
trict. Men like that are just cut loose
to ply their vocation over again. Ii
there ever was malfeasance in office this
is. Magistrate Poole hadn't ought to be
on the bench"
The mentionSof Justice Jeromes name
at another time led to this:
Justice Jerome. Ell? This complaints
dismissed. There's q lot of tin soldiers
running around this town with pop-
guns on their shoulders, shooting 'em
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25

off in the streets and raising riot and
rebellion and degrading the whole-the
whole community. It's an outrage
Judge Jerome amt going to run this
town If 1 can help it. say it's an out
rage. It's claimed here that this man
was wrongfully convicted, and believe
it. It's about time halt was called"
To a policeman who was taken i'll he
said:
If you wanted to go on bum why
didn't you get surgeon to give you
sick leave for n couple of days? Any one
would a. done it."
OF Park Commissioner Clausen he
said:
Commissioner Clausen amt the gen.
eral public. If the children want to play
on the grass they've right to. 1t amt
for Commissioner Clausen 10 make rules
and regulations to stop 'em. I'll fine you
thirty days pay. Meehan, and that will
teach you fellows not to go a'chasin
ladies and children off the grass"
A policeman accused of flirting on his
post got this:
Q.-Are you near-sighted?
A.-Well, my back was turned to the
roundsman.
Q.-Well. the lady must have been fac
ing the roundsman. Didn't she tip you
off? There is good deal of tipping off
going on. Didn't the lady tip you off?
A.-She couldn't see me.
Q.-When you are caught that close
you want to stand up with nerve and
chow nerve. You don't know anything
then. No matter under what
n man doesn't want to
know anything when he is caught with
the goods on him. He must say no to
everything. Don't stand up and try to
throw the roundsman. You tell that
Young lady, the next time you are talk
ing to her. when you have got your back
III one direction let her look in the other.
so that she can tip you off quick. Don't
get caught; always get tipped off II you
can. Now, will fine you ten days for
rot being tipped off,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25

Park amphitheater offered for accep-
lance on a contract by William Mar
SHALL Chicago. Veterinary Surgeon p.
Farrell is conducting the examinations.
He was the chief veterinarian who in
spected thousands of horses on govern
nlent orders at the Union Stock Yards
during the American-Sp Spanish war. The
artillery horses weigh around 1,150 to
1880 pounds, and are animals of good
substance, high finish and superb action.
The government is executing large or
der thru William Marshal! and weekly
inspections will be held until the con-
tract is filled,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-09-25
c. /. OFFICER INDICTED.
Testimony on Which It Was Secured
Made Public.

y. mdQ0 f>OOltCs
Omaha, Sept. 25.-The World Herald
says today:
"a perusal of the indictments against
Charles 7. Officer, the Council Bluffs
banker, shows the evidence upon which
the grand jury bases its action.
The witnesses before the grand jury
were Charles z. Walters, the expert
who examined the books; L. F. Muir
ply. formerly bookkeeper Of the bank
and one of the receivers of the institu-
ton; j. r. Mcpherson, S. G. Underwood,
j. j. Klein, A. G. Faul, w. n. Kain, J..
y. Stewart, John T. Oliver and Fremont
Benjamin. Walters testified that s14,-
900 Of the nominal cash assets was rep
resented by slips counted as cash on the
books; that Charles T. Officer signed ne
firms name to drafts and other bank
paper, and received and handled the
cash. 3H
Mr.. Walters also testified that he
found certain drafts drawn a yearsor
more before the bank was closed in ia
.vor Of Thomas Officer and which were
not cashed until after his death and
were then passed to the credit Of the
Thomas Officer estate, when it appeared
from the DOCKS they equltapiy belonged
to the firm.
Mr.. Murphy testified that the morn
ing he and John Beresheim took charge
of the bank as receivers Charles T. Off
Ger opened the reserve compartment Of
the safe and told them there was not as
much cash there by $4,000 as the slips
called for. The difference was made up
OF personal checks Of W. H. NJ. Pussy
and Thomas Officer. which had been
stamped paid, but which had neverthe-
less been charged to their accounts.
mr.. Murphy testified that worthless
paper and outlawed notes to the amount
of about $4,000 We're carried as assets
at 100 cents on the dollar.
The specific transactions on which
the Indictment was based was the de-
post by John T. Oliver OF 81. 100, April s,
1900, the money being received by
Charles T. Officer,'