The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-03-24
REGARDING STAGE MEALS.
While Other Theatrical Features Have
Progressed They Have Not Changed.
Brooklyn Eagle.

Progressed They Have Not Changed.
Brooklyn Eagle.
You folks who go to the theater fire.
quently. did you ever consider stage
meals?" asked the old-timer, who is well
versed in matters histrionic; they are far
from being the least interesting feature OF
a performance, and quite often they at
tract more attention than the star himself.
Except in a few instances, provided by
such real turkey plays as Shore Acres, the
stage meal has trailed a long way back OF
other theatrical features. Scenery has been
improved and made more realistic; cos
TUNES have been regulated so that they lit
the period of the play in which they are
worn; acting itself has kept pace with the
onward march OF general progress, but the
stage meal mas stuck. For years II mas
maintained a monotonous level of imper-
lection, and, finally, l have given up hope
that ii Will ever reform.
The stage meal is the same, whether the
hour be that of breakfast, luncheon, dinner
or supper. If your seat is In the orchestra
and the stage is far above you, the meal
doesn't count for much, because you can
not see the awful waste that the table con-
tains; but should your seat be further
back, or in the balcony, the weird con-
SlomeratiOn of stage food then becomes
altogether too apparent to the eye. Tne
stage meal is the same, whether ii is being
served in a tenement, such as William II.
Crane lives in before his fortune is re-
stored. or whether it is spread in the over
dressed parlor scene of the refined vaude-
vile sketch. TIL ingredients seldom differ;
only the NlSneS are changed While mowers
cover a large plot of space.
Doubtless you have often observed the
vaudeville meal. l mean the kind of spread
which IS set out when the soubrette, IN
snort skirts, trips in and trills: i am eX-
pecting a young man here TO dine with me
to-day and L have a nice little lunch all
ready for him. Yes, indeed, we all have
seen that lunch. 1t fairly makes our mouths
water. There is a tall dish for celery, witt
celery in it. Celery is always good FOR comic
business. such as tanning the girl when she
faints or busting ones shoes. Well, as / was
saying, there is celery, and lots OF it, in the
tall dish. There are several rosy apples, an
orange or two, q squad OF rolls and perhaps
q coffee pot. If the play is very realistic,
there may be coffee in the pot, but if not
nay, nay. Bring in a stage hand, in a dress
suit and tan shoes, first giving him what
looks like a champagne bottle. with water
inside, and the delightful illusion is COM
plete. l saw a meal like that the other
afternoon on the stage, and after the male
about three bites and spluttered out the
coffee because it burned him-very funny
he rose up and said. with a smile:
" There, L feel as if l couldn't eat an
other mOrsel for a week Well, / suppos
many a time he hasn't had the chance, be-
ing a veteran actor.
1.-THE vaudeville meal is not the only
sparsely settled stage poke-out. L have
seen John Drew, after telling the audience
how hungry he was, in one way or another.
for ten minutes, sit down amid beautiful
scenery to an empty channg dish and q
bottle of real wine. L have always envied
the actor who could have real wine and con-
slider il a mark of prosperity in the show
that provides ii. Still, wine without food Is
at times injurious, particularly when you
see a couple of characters In a society
drama pSur it into them for breakfast. Now,
while | am speaking of wine. I'm going TO
talk about the stage toast. What a grace
full act it is, the stage toast. In legitimate
drama, In such a scene, for instance, as
Mary Mannering's toast to Washington, II
Will pass, but comic opera-ah, that's the
word.
Ever seen a comic opera toast? OF
of course. you have. Everybody has. Some
body on the stage cries: "A toast, a toast,
and then the baritone steps forward and
levels his voice over the fOOtllghtS. lie has
an able-bodied cup in his hand, in which d
chorus girl pours wine from an Empty
fagon, and then, repaired for the song, the
baritone lets go: And it's Will We guam me,
my lads? or something like that, is what
ne says. and then he drinks deeply. III
there's an encore. which there usually is.
he comes back and drinks again without
the fOrmality of rehlling his glass. That 5
one kind of opera toast. Another kline is
when everybody drinks together They
used TO do that in the first act of Ell Capt.
tan. The chorus and a couple of the prin-
eipals used To get out in front of the house
and sing something like % the raVen-black
wine. let us sip-ip; come. let us sip-ip;
come, let us sip-ip.' L won't be sure about
the color of the wine as characterized in
the song, but l do remember that toast.
Everybody on the stage used to clinS
glasses Ohey We're made of metal. of
c~ourse), with enough force to break a
pressed glass pitcher. and when they
weren't clinking cups they were swinging
them around their heads, like a green
quarterback making his first double pass.
of course, it won't be necessary for me TO
state that the glasses were ali empty.
Having discoursed about meals that are
spurious. let us now pay our respects, in
conclusion, to the real articles. Where can
you find them? Why. in the truly rural
drama, with whistling wind. the driving
snow. the real fruit tree. the OK team and
the Annie Laurie quartet. You all know
the sort of show / refer to. The kind old
man with whiskers and overalls comes in
from the barn and says: Marthy. be that
turkey done yit; it smells all fired slick.
Hello. who's tibet there comm up the road?
and. having said that. the dinner prepare.
lions go on and finally they take a real tur-
KEY from a real stove and set il on a real
table. with real cloth and knives and forks
and real bread and real conversation. EV
erything real. in fact. except the actors
Sometimes they are wooden. In these PLAYS
the members of the cast get so sick of tur.
kew tina for ordinary meals off the stage
they are glad 10 tackle a tripe sandwich
After all. then. il becomes a question
whether the actor with three rolls and ar
apple isn't the better situated.