The Iola register., 1901-10-18

and the sad news comes forth that the
drouth injured the apples in the gar
dens of Eden. The snakes undoubt-
edly survived, hoSever.
viii White received 5000 for his
serial story now running in the Satur-
day Evening Post entitled "A Most
Lamcntable Comedy" At least that
is all he let his wife think he got.
The papers gave F.. d. Coburn a
place in Roosevets cabinet but he
stayed right at home and now they are
sending M. A. Low to Washington TO
occupy another job in the same body.
Prof. Lantz, who has had charge of
the experiments to exterminate the
prairie dog say there are 100, 900, 600
of them in the State. Here is energy
equal to that of Niagara going to
waste. Come on We Kansas inventors.
AT the Wichita carnival one of the
grafters was woman with her trip
lets. She had them in a buggy to-
gether with the three mugs Governor
Stanley gave them and sold their pic
lures az fast as she could hand them
out.
The Kansas newspapers are print
ing little helpful article telling 28
different things a girl should learn.
If people would do what the newspa-
pers tell them to the millennium what
would come after the first edition was
out.
An old rat got stuck in a hole in a
Wellington store and prevented about
100 others from escaping back to their
nests. The proprietor found the whole
outfit when he opened up in the morn
ing and the whole town joined in the
killing.
A Club of Abilene matrons is think
ing of ejecting member who recently
chose for subject Peaches. and how
to Can them, when invited to address
the organization. Before such an
audience such subject was positively
uncanny.
There is trouble all over the state in
getting servant girls and it is said to
be due to women branching out into
other lines. So the house wives who
are complaining are sharing the
lrouble their sex is causing in indus
trial circles.
This happened in Mcpherson, says
the Republican,: "a teacher in one of
our Sunday schools last Sunday,
schools last Sunday, asked small
urchin what Annanias did? The ans
wer came quickly, HE made the
weather reports"
The Hutchinsons News wants to ex-
change Emma Goldman for Miss
Stone, the bandits to keep Emma until
the News the Sll0, 900 ransom. If that
W Hnnn Di1lV MApru,, ;.xl
go out:of politics, no snaps will be
tossed his way.
An Independence paper devotes half
a column to hayrack ride in which
the beauty and chivalry spooned in
the moonlight. The crowd drove to a
farm, picked apples and crank all the
sweet cider they wanted. The story
ended right there.
Next Arbor Day will be of unusual
interest as Governor Stanley will ask
every school child to plant a tree as a
tribute to the memory of William Nc
Kinley, who loved trees. The entire
country will observe the day.
The pension list paid from the Tone
ka office is increasing. there now be-
ing ll5,90S pensioners in Kansas,
Missouri, Colorado, New Mexico and
Oklahoma on the list. The payment
last quarter was four millions.
a Sumner county man who had a
neighbor arrested for slander swore
to the following affidavit: 81 hereby
solemnly swear that the defendant set
upon me, calling me lobster. n
pauper, scarecrow and an idiot, all of
which | certify to be true
At Topeka recently Lafe Smith aged
Is married Clara Harvey aged Al and
the groom's father went along to give
his consent. The brides hair is nat
urally red but is turning gray. She
promised the Judge to bring her hus-
band up the way he should grow.
The Topeka Capital says western
Kansas editor intended to co ompliment
a fellow townsman by saying that he
was 1.-THE most expert trap shooter in
the State" When the papers we're off
he found that the wise typo had set up
crap shooter" and the editor left on
the first train.
Creameries pay for milk according
to the amount of butter fat which is
determined from samples of each pat
rons daily contribution. Asmart pat
ron OF the Ottawa creamery regularly
crawled into the building and poured
cream in his samples, gettipgtwice the
pay his neighbors did.
AS the result of jokes played on
eachother Frank Crowell and Bailie
Waggoner will both soon have their
pictures printed all over the country
as recommending some patent medi-
cine. Waggoner played the first joke
by sending in Crowell's picture and
testimonial and Crowell played even.
Topeka Herald: A Topeka man
took his little daughter to Kansas City
the other day, and when they had
crossed the state line he said, '"Now
we are in Missouri" Oh, no, you
must be mistaken, papa, for Missouri
is pink. You can look in my geogra-
ply and see," responded the little
maid.
The day after the Haskell Indians
wallOped the Ottawa University boys
at football, the Herald printed this
item: "Dear Dad-There was the