The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-12-29
Fun OF TIE WoRLD.

tic comment The ether day Whlie Stti-
ing the roll Of enc OF his classes. he came
unon ghe name OF . Miss Greene lie
naused and expressed his disapproval OF
the mat ''e' IN her name b. saving,
-Sf-r-e-e-n-e, does that spell Green or
csresnie - Miss Greene promptly replied;
-'S-y-i-e: docs that spell Syle ana Siiis
ss=
4 bachelor member of congress. VINO IS
not as handsome rs Apollo, dropped into
clerk NcDoVeliS office the other osN 20
seek sympathy because the lady on whom
he had looked with favor was about 10 DC
married 10 another man.
That reminds me- said Mr. Mcdowell
'of the incident whica happened Cover
nor Dick Ogiesby. who went down 10 Jes-
iet 20 inspect the state prison. IN one
Of the cells was 4 very ugly man
How did you set in here asked
Ogleshy.
Abduction. was the reply. 7 tried 10
run or with a girl and they caught me
TN pardon you as soon as I get back
to Springfield. said the governor.
don't Sc how YOU could expect 10 set
wife in any other way
The homely bachelor congressman
laughed loudly Then. as the application
OF the story dawned upon him, the smile
faded from his face and he walked out
OF McDowelTs Office without saying
word
gRs
one day last week a Berkeley student In
one q Prof l. Dupont Styles classes
came into the recitation room SO late that
the English teacher made mild remon-
STRANGE al the extreme hardness OF the
young man
Professor" replied the young fellow
in eNcusing himself. my watch was slow.
I shall have no faith in x after this
My dear fellow. said Syie, what
yoh need is not faith hu; works
Some months ago the father OF young
man who had recently entered the mar
ried state had occasion 20 dispatch his
faithful but somewhat outspoken old ser
xaut 10 his son $ residence
When he returned. eager 20 learn the
old mans opinion of the lady. he asked
well. YOU saw the bride. Thomas
''Yigh. Aw seed her
shes very rich lady, Thomas"
'Yigh: so she is. Az We yerd.
Well then. what's your own private
opinion. Thomas. eh?
"Aw think shes a reyt bornoy wench
10 tawk 20. as weel as bein' rich and
oliver. but malsthcr. iv beauty's a sin,
she WANT ha that 20 onswer fur.
<
4 new story is being told Of the days
when Mark Twain was hack-writer In
San Francisco on a weekly salary repre-
scented by one figure. Bret Harte and
Joaquin Miller serving on the same STAFF
with like pay. a woman OF means who
patronized Bohemia and gave the impe-
cunious strugglers many a good dinner
saw Mark Twain thinly clad and impeT-
fectly shod. standing with cigar box
under his arm and looking hungrily IN at
a confectioners window. The patroncss
OF letters asked what was IN the box.
oh. drawled the humorisJ. 4 nm NOV
ing again
K K gs
wish 10 get position as brakeman,
said the caller respectfully.
The great man sized him up. Tim. Ever
have any experience"
sir. I have been railroad man Tor
eighteen years
The great man reflected some "Um."
he said "Er-would YOU kindly close
the door2 I seem to feel 4 draft"
The applicant arose and closed the door
gently.
HUH" snorted the great man.
Thought you could impose on me. chr
Get right out o here, A railroad man
would have shut that door so hard IL
would have Jared my false teeth out.''
The great man was right.
4
Tho detectives We're gathered around
tho large table IN their room about 3
O'Clock at night when the door was push
ed open and boy entered. says a Louis
vile dispatch. lie was about years old.
The detectives thought he Was lost and
that the tears that were rolling down his
face were from fright. lie Was almost
frozen.
Come IN, little fellow and get warm. q"
said Detective Hickey. When the boy was
rrvs Ita uatraH him Ffe 4urraa
Harry" was the reply.
Then Chief Sullivan asked him what he
wanted. The boy walked over 20 the
officer and said:
4 know some boys that are going to
rob Santa Claus
You do2'
They wanted me 20 help but would
"9 'vor
'No. cause I don't believe It's right
But they've got good scheme"
The boy was now hard 10 stop. The
thought that he was doing an old friend
a good turn seemed 70 make him holder
"One OF them wrote Santa a letter lie
said be lived so stable and VAS poor
he said he had q lot o. brothers. They
got il fixed up 20 set Santa in the stable
and take his pack. That's what they
have told pa and ne just laughed
ard said IL was case Tor the cetecuges-
You re one. amt you
y am. was the answer.
when "a said that ! GOT two uickels
20 my money bank and came on street
car. Now I'm going back I live on
Jefferson street. You won't Jet 'sm rob
Santa. viii YOU
The assembled detectives made Up a
dollar. gave Il 70 the hoy. PROMISED uet
t0 allow santa Clans te he robbed and