New-York tribune., 1901-03-13
THE T4LK OF THE DAY.

A colonel OF a British regiment IN South Africa
who was repairing a railroad after one Of General
De Vets many breakages discovered fine empty
house. which he proceeded TO occupy headquar-
When the news Of the eolonels comfortable quar-
ters reached PIoemfonteln he received a telegram
which read:
&c. T. NJ wants house"
The colonel was unable to make what &c.
T. NJ" meant and inquired OF officers. who trans
lated it General Traffic Manager"
"Au right" said the colonel. II he can use
hieroglyphics t.
So he wired back:
&c 7. NJ can G. T. H.
Two days later he received a dispatch from
Bloemfontein ordering him to attend a board Of
inquiry. on appearing IN due course he was asked
what he meant by sending such an insulting mes
sage to a superior officer
Insulting" repeated the colonel. innocenuy; 1T
was nothing OF the kind
But what do you mean" demanded his superior.
"by telling me I can G- T. H-'?"
1T was simply an abbrevaton." replied the colo
mel. &c. T. NJ general traffic manageD can G. T.
II. (get the house,"
OF Again on Again.-''Very Well" said she. in
a huff. "aH is over between us. I'll thank you TO
All right" said he TN send them to you the
"Oh. there's no killing hurry. Suppose you-er-
evening. "-(Philadeiphia Press
Last week at Relan. in the selama district
says The Penang Gazette" "a boa constructor
swallowed four goats one after the other, and then
disposed his eight Of length TO slumber 1t was
not his dinner that disagreed with him, but the
vengeful owner of the goats. who followed and slew
him he slept.
An amusing, episode occurred a political meet
int at Lavcnfon during the general election After
bSsri1F the sneeches OF the candidate and his
sYnnoriers an aged CONSERVATIVES from Wolverton
dramatically holding aIoft a walnut. when he pro-
Ceeded say: -, -
resents the Radicals the next the thin bitter skin
Is the Liberals and the kernel represents the Sood
A man in the audience cried out: Now crack IT,.
The Wolverton Tory did So when 10 a2d an 0eh9d
and chagrin that followed may be imasined-(spare
Moments.
The Rev John L. sewall pastor Of the First
Congregational Church of North Brookheld. Mass,
has announced that hereafter he will accept a re-
duction OF 10 per cent Of his salary of s15o year
His reasons for this that he believes it is a
good way 10 show sympathy for the operatives In
the E & A. Fl. Batcheller shoe shop VINO are
facing 10 per cent cut IN wages. Many OF the
operatives are members OF the Rev. Mr. Sewalls
parish.
A cheap Jack Leeds butcher brought his cart to
standstilI in Lady Lane An Old & woman nan lo9kGd r3
Win longing at ov n % %refe4red GT S0HeS to- a
and steaks" but evidently very poor IN
eseH, eesiefui ipF Of 9''s Selected eet bits -.
Ere. ave EN- at tuppence." growled the
." It's f'.St too much" said the woman.
Ave EN- at penny
StIll the woman hestated- - ,
There was a look of pity. mixed with disgust on
MS stii tnfG too %S much? Eve ans it, III back
while you sneak 'em!'-tAnswers
furrier is thus quoted in The Philadelphia
Record: The styles in sealskin coats change so
often that women are constantly having them made
over Few people realize Just what this means TO
us OF course. it means an increase in business
but don't mean that. The cutting of seaiskin Is
an art I'm itself and the men who do II are experts
and get experts salaries. The work OF a sealskin
cutter must be almost delicate as that OF dia-
nnond cutter. This may sound like exagsera-
tion, but it isn't-at least. not so much as You
might think The slightest error on the part OF
the workman who is handling an expensive skin
is nothing short of catastrophe. These men are
mostly Germans. The automobile. by the way
has indirectly doomed the fur business. We have
made up quite a number of mems fur automobile
suits this winter-coat waistcoat. cap and
trousers These are for the extremists"
on his way home from the lodge Mr. Jymes
hSiS hSids up by f0''paaS and relieved of all his vau
What did thew get Rufus?" anxiously asked
Mrs. Jymes. after he had reached his home and
!Everything except the password" he groaned.
-(Chicago Tribune
The Mayor of Salina. Kan. the other day issued
the following order the city marshall
Dear Sir You will please notify all joint peo-
pie and saloOnkeepers of Saiina, Kan, that they
must close up their joints and places of business
on or before March 4. 1891. IL they wish to save
their property they will please have IL removed be-
fore that time. To those who have not paid fine
this month. they must close Immediately. This
lenency will only be 10 those who have paid a fine
durirg the month of February.
please that this order is strictly enforced
IT. w ROACH. Mayor"
Joy Enough1Mrs. Subbubs-You didn't get much
pleasure out of your walk, did you, dearr
Mr.. Subbubs (beamnely)-Indeed. did.
Mrs. SubbubS-but. that shower of rain. See how
you
Mr.. Subbubs-Oh, that doesn't matter. What do
you think? l found golf ball lost last summer.
-Philadelohia Press.