Sunday morning globe., 1901-08-18
THE GOLD BRICK
Spain Passed over to Uncle Sam as
Described by a Correspondent.

Our Philippine possessions are thus
descr,oed by a master.hand at sar-
casm, keen sense Of humor, and withal
truthful narrator, who, despite the
irony Of his pen, can philosophically
size up and estimate in a brief space
the gold brick" Spain sold us in Paris
a year or two ago The Globe intro
duces Mr.. John II. Burwell, of North
Carolina:
THE Philippine Islands are bunch
Of trouble gathered together on the
western horizon of civilization. They
are bounded on the north by rocks and
dstmction, on the east by typhoons
and monsoons, on the south by canni-
balls and earthquakes. The climate is
a combination Of electric changes well
adapted to raising Cain. The soil Is
extraordinarily fertile, producing large
crops of insurreCtiOns and trickery.
The inhabitants are very industrious,
their chief occupation being trench
building and the manufacture OF bolos,
knives, and reloading Remington cart
ridges. Their amusements are cock
lighting monte dealings, thieying, and
cheating. Their diet consists Of rice
boiled rice, stewed rice, fried rice,
cooked rice and rice.
THE Filipino marriage service is
very impressive especially the clause
wherein the wife is given the privilege
of working as much as her husband
desires. The beasts Of burden are car
abous: on a three-mile journey only
ten days ldlluua uecu De luh'lif '"'
If the Journey is 100 miles the driver
would die of old age before reachlhg
his destination Manila, the capital
and principal city, is situated ON Ma.
nila Bay, a large land-locked body OF
water, fun Of filth, sharks. and span
isb submarine boats. Cavite, the sec
ond city of importance, is noted for It's
natural facilities for a naval station
and for its large number OF saloons
and Cinnamon.
THE principal exports Of the islands
are rise, hemp, and war bulletins. The
principal imports are American sol
| diers arms. ammunition, beer and to-
bacco.
Malaria is so prevalent that on va
rious occasions the islands have been
/ shaken wl,n chill. Luzon, the larg'
| est of the group, resembles one Of Cy
| Green's cast-off boots. Communication
/ has been established between the nu-
merous islands by substituting the
/ MOSQUITO for the carrier pigeon, the
MOSQUITOES being much larger and bet
/ ter able to endure the fatigue or the
/ Journey. The native costume consists
| of a -four sack tied around the waist,
| Children II years Of age wait till the
next year for their clothes, The towns
are an aggregation Of shacks built Of
/ bamboo and full Of filth, ileas cur
| dogs. cats. horses, chickens, pigs, hies,
/ bedbugs and lice. The family all sleep
| on terms Of equality, The native drink
! is Dlno. concentrated tarantula poison,
cactus Juice, barbed wire and forked
lightning. The Philippines are an ap.
propriate present for a deadly enemy.
| The natives are friends at the point
of a gun. The climate, pleasant and
/ healthful for reaches, tarantulas ALI
gators, scorpions, centipedes, and
| snakes. The soil, adapted to raising
foul odors and diseases The islands,
a God.forsaken, cannibali2ed, Aguin.
aldoinfested blot on the face Of Gods
/ green earth