The Savannah morning news., 1901-06-05

UNCLE MINGO WANTS SAM JONES.
Bright speech which Was I'm
fortunately Never Spoken.

fortunately Never Spoken.
Uncle Mingo was in town yesterday,
and showed up at the restaurant for din
ner; he was cordially welcomed by his
friend, the waiter.
IVY, hello, Uncle" he said, where
you been all dis timer
Been out home" said Uncle Mingo; Il
lief de same day Sam gone"
'Wot make you do so sudden?'
well" said the old man, Il done git
so work up bout Sam, l make up my min
to run out home quick an see if l couldn't
make arrangements to glib him an George
a call to come an hoP regular good ole
fashion pertracted meetin' out to Postum
Holler."
AN is dey comin?" asked the waiter.
Dunno yit" answered Uncle Mingo;
1--WE hasn't heard. But considerable steps
has been took. We has de promise of
bout twenty-eight dollars wild wich we
kin cree suitable pine-top synagogue
cackerlated to hol mos two hundred peo-
pie. Den de Baptis Church has promise
to len us de oil Medium. and de Kun
nell say he will gree to take Sam an
George to bode for nothin', If dey Will
come"
Il doubt if dey kin git off," remarked
the waiter refiectively
so does l." said Uncle Mingo; but
dey would sho do a power of good. wy,
we has some O. de wiles' ole sinners an
reddes'-nose old buzzards out dere you
cher see an dat right out cen de coun-
try where dey amt hardly no deobilment
dey kin git at II dey could be subjec' to
de elements an temptations o dis great
city dey would go to de debbil, as sam
saw like a pot-belly Dutchman slidin
down a greasy pole"
Sam seem to consider dis pretty
wicked town." observed the waiter.
so he do said Uncle Mingo; he say
all dem preacher wot say dere' amt no
he'll is a berry fat-headed dude. wy, he
say. SIGH Teller amt no mo htten to
be a preacher dan ole coon dog. In fac,
he say. gimme de ole coon dog cherry
time. cause he got a better nose. He kin
smell de birthstone half mile off, he say
''But we had a great time de las sun
dav night wen Sam didn't preach to no.
body. but mems. gone soon, so
I git a good seat well up cen de front
O. de cullud department.
well he talk an he talk, an at las
he say, 'Dere amt no gentlemen who
would go cen a barroom. an TIL proceed
TO prove it TO you, he say. Now, he say,
dere don't no ladies go cen barrooms,
does dey? he say. No. he say, course dey
don't Well, den, he say, can't lady go
any place where a gentleman kin go? an
swer me dat! he say.
"A whole lot O. fellers holler OATS so"
an den l stan up
Sam see me an say,
Don't you gree wild me, you ole black
rascal?
Den say, Kin I ak a queschun?'
Yes say Sam, If you tell me who
you is
'Dey calls me Uncle Mngo,' / say.
OH is you Uncle Mingo?' say Sam
L so please to see de onrespecful ole cuss!
AK awayv
"'You say ladies kin go anywhere dat
gentlemens kin? l say.
To be sho,' say Sam.
Den, I say, an bcb my head up an
down. will you tell me wy dey amt no
ladies here tonight"
Dat was good! exclaimed the admir-
ing waiter; AN wot did Sam say to
dat?"
He neber say nothin' cept run his ham
troo his back hair; but de people dey
laugh and clap DER hans"
Uncle Mingo paused. and relighted his
cheroot, which had become extinguished
during his speech. Then he took a few
puffs while the walters expression show
ed his undisguised admiration.
At length the old man spoke again.
Dat las statement l made" he said,
was all lie."
"Wot! said the waiter in tone of
disappointment. you didn't tell Sam
dat?"
mo" said Uncle Mingo." dat CONVEX
saton was nebber conwersed fought OF
it, but bless your soul l nebber had no
face to git up an talk out cen no sich
meetin' like dat, fore all dem wife folks!
No, sab; l was too bashful"