St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1901-10-05
HEALED By HUMBUG.
Confession Of Medical Man Treat
ment of Imaginary Ills.

@SSs AosSs 1ilou sSoA4c Strange pa
I tients in my time, as, indeed, ever
s doctor of any experience must hay
n had, said medical man toga write
for London Ht-Bits; and I hav
! performed some wonderful feats 0
curing by methods which would no
be recorded in the Lancet.
Of course, among a doctors client
are many whose ailments exist onl-
,, in their Imagination, and not few
of them are positive cranks.i
Only month ago q man called Il
see me in q state Of great distress
He assured me. that hehadgota "froe
in his inside. He had swallowed il
in a condition of infancy in a glass
Of impure water some months earlier
and ithad grown to an enormous size
and he was sure that It would be The
death Of him if he could not get rid
Of it.
In vain 7 pointed out that the frog
existed only in his fancy; he grew fu-
rious at the suggestion, and said that
! was as incompetent and unsympa-
thetie as all the other doctors he had
consulted.
II At last, to get rid of the man, I
said: Very well, you may be right,
after all. At any rate, come here
| again at this time tomorrow and we
will see what can be done.
He came attheappointed time and.
told him that an operation would be
necessary, to which he gladly con-
| sented. [ made him lie down on a
couch, administered chIoroform, and
when be recovered consciousness was
able to show him q very large and
frisky frog as the result Of the op-
GRAFTON. His delight was unbound-
ed, and he went away blessing me
for saving hisslife. Ofeourse, he had
no suspicion that the frog had been
specially imported for his benefit.
Another Of my patients has to
thank me for his preserved eyesight
at least, so he is kind enough to
say. He informed me that tin-tack |
which he had been hanmering had
sprung up and lodged in his right !
eye, causing him infinite pain-and
certainly the mans eye, from con-
stant rubbing, was in state Of great |
Inflammation. .
| examined the eye carefully, but T
could find no trace Of any foreign sub
stance IN it; and, as for there being
a tln-tack buried in it, 2 the idea was
preposterous. However, as I saw the |.
man was convinced the tackwa there
and was making himself Ill with anxi-
ETY. about it, I suggested a small op-
Grafton. A few minutes preparation
was all that was necessary. Fortu-
naEely one OF my boys had magnet,
which l discovered, and attaching
this "a ste TO q battery I held it in proximity
to the mans eye.
Within a few seconds my efforts
were rewarded, for I was able to show
my patient very vicious ookiin . tin
ack (Which i had taken from the
iraWingg-nroom g r zcarpetl and had the, /.
'atlsfaetion Of sending him away AVA 2
Happy, to advertise my skill among
lis friends. \
One good lady, who is a small and Y Y
'onEstant flE'ts ut annuity to me, VOWS that I ;
~ the "cleVerest doctor in town. = y
nd has sent me crowds Of patients. :
me is one of those people who are al Y
.ays imagining that they have some '
lin lllment; indeed, I think by this time =
ne must almost have exhausted all
be be "ills that flesh is heir to, and viii ?
ave to begin again. q
of course, there is nothing what Is
zer the matter with her, except in = =
olenee, which is the mother of all al
lnds Of disorders, real and fanciful g
ortunately for every ailment j am Q ?,
Die TO provide specific, which never Or %
us to cure her within a few weeks 9
ne curious thing is thai, with a slight q =
I1rlatlon in coloring ard flavor, the y
edlelnes are always the same, and .
ntain nothing more potent than d
little sugar, with a tablespoonful Of q
ne or spirit. su
Some people would say that It is ~ -
,ong to deceive patient in this wav: J"
t / cannot see it. Such women are =,
yer happy unless they are under -. =
E doctors hands, and If one man " Y
mt doctor them another will. NV =
.dicines certainly do them good. all
only in Imagination; and in this g
rticular case do not cost my pa jee
ut a tenth part Of the money She
'nds on her pet dogs
You did not know that it is posi-
to turn a mans head completely :
md without killing the patient. "a "a.
you? Well ;y Is. far IaaUas 4 do,,a 0ta