Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1901-08-08

Rpe dUSWeTtu utter Il llOlRtut, dilu III
cure you would come home feeling no
better for IL"
who said anything about swamps
and thistle patrhesT' he demanded.
Pm talking about meadows filled
with daisxs and Of cool. green woods
echoing the songs Of thousands of
birds. Even the sight of ii lamb frol-
licking on the hillside would put new
life into us. Well make an early start
and stay all day. and I'll bet dollars to
cents you'll come home singing with
happiness. You'd better tell the cook
to get lunch ready"
81 don't think I'll CO.
"You don'tl What's the matter with
your
1--WE got to 60 TO the sewing circle.
I'm one Of the officers. you know"
THE sewing circle be hangedr ex-
claimed Mr.. Bowser. "What you want
is a day In the country. and II the old
hens OF the circle can't cackle without
you they'll have to keep still for once" "
Mrs. Bowser had other reasons-rea-
sons which she did not care to state.
She knew that Mr.. Bowser would set
out In great good nature, but that the
picnic would result in a calamity be-
fore the day was done. She therefore
continued to excuse herself, and of
course 1t ended by his saying:
Every well. Mrs. Bowser-very well.
II you want tc stay at home and roast
while l am seated In shady dells,
have no objections. While am sniff
ing the odor of bluebells you'll be
smelling corned beef and cabbage, and
while I'm listening to babbling brooks
you'll be hearing the screeches of the
street peddlers. Have 1t your own
way. but I'm going on picnic"
Not aloneT she asked.
"You bet your life! In fact, I'D rath-
er 20 alone than to have you along.
Yes, sir, shall go out and spend the
day in the country and have a good
time, and you can run right along to
your sewing circle society,""
While he was grumpy all the rest of
the evening, Mrs. Bowser figured that
he would give up the idea by morning
and forget all about 1t. He didn't, how
ever. He was up earlier than usual
and gave the cook orders himself to
put him up a lunch, and at breakfast
he announced his firm intention Of
holding a one man picnic. Wifelike,
Mrs. Bowser relented and would have
sacrificed herself, but he turned on her
with:
81 go to the gamboling lambs, bab-
bling brooks and shady dells, and you
stay right here among the flies, NIL
crobes and cats"
half an hour later he set out with his
lunch basket ON his arm. He didn't
care cents about going, but he want
ed Mrs. Bowser to understand that she
couldn't bluff him. At the corner he
took trolley car for the country, and
the fun began at once. 1t was an open
car, with a fat man on the end seat,
and Mr.. Bowser climbed over him and
muttered something about human hogs.
The fat man jawed back, and but for
the conductor there would have been q
grapple to the death.
By the time the country was reached
llr. Bowser's temperature was 21O,
and as he looked around him it jumped
another 20 degrees. There were sa-
loon, stable and an electric power
house. There were few feeble look
ing apple trees and two or three fields
filed with weeds. 1t was mile to the
nearest wood, and the highway was
ankle deep with dust and the day was
q scorcher, but that one man picnic
was bound to come off at any cost and
at all hazards. Mr.. Bowser looked for
gambolinc lambs as he trudged along,
but the butchers had bought them all
up for chops in the spring. He looked
for babbling brooks, but they all turn
ed out to be frog ponds. Half way to
the wood he met a tramp, and Weary"
accosted him with:
Say, Gully, what misfortune caused
ye to take to de hoof? Sit down and
tell me de yarn"
"Sir! Do you know who you are ad-
dressing7" demanded Mr.. Bowser In
reply.
yerself Rube de Rusher or Lie de
Limper7 Sit down and work yer chin
and git some p'inters from an old vet"
Mr.. Bowser passed on, but his tenn
perature went still higher as the tramp
hurled cuss words at his back and the
dust in the road grew deeper. When
he reached the wood at last, he sank
down under a gnarled oak which was
throwing It's grateful shade over an
empty beer bottle some bicyclist had
left behind, and for ten long minutes
he gave himself up to the cheerful
thoughts of how he would murder the
family cat If he ever lived to get home.
The hot sun had developed n headache,
and the rough walk had brought out
two soft corns In addition, he hadn't
found anything that babbled or gam
bolcd and had been snssed by tramp
and insulted by fat man. That one
man picnic would have been declared
Off by most men. but Mr.. Bowser was
made of sterner stuff He got up after
awhile and went looking for shady
dell. He had just found n cheap one
horse dell which he thought might do
at a pinch when a wandering bumble-
bee pumped against his neck and lift
ed him clear off the ground with