The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1901-04-25
DANGER IN THE BOOK
WHY ONE MAN DREADED The CON-
ING INTO CAMP OF A DICTIONARY.

lie Discreet1y Left Before the VOeff-
erousIy Applauded Sentiments He
Expressed In HIS speech Could he
AnaiyEed n In Webster.
When the son Of the president of the
Big Mountain Lumber company came
into the mountains to learn the bust
ness, so to speak, l knew within -
minutes that he had come to the
wrong place. lie was a city chap, new
~ graduated and thoroughly out of
touch with everything mountainous.
lie was n bright fellow, however, and
imply capable, only the mountains
were not the field for his development.
As time elapsed his distaste grew, and
IL was all he could do not to express
his opinion of the mountain people,
;lCir manners, customs, homes, morals
and everything connected with them.
Ne was wise enough to confide in me
alone and bided his time TO get away
10 some more congenial cline. And
ne got away sooner than he expected.
II happened that there was n public
meeting one night at the sawInlll shed,
ara he was called ON to make a few
remarks. Every other man at the
meeting except myself, who acted as
chairman was of the mountains. and
their llliterate talk had reused the
| young college fellow to the limit. He
saw a chance to get even, in his own
mind at least. and when the call came
for him he responded promptly. His
speech. quite brief, but 60 the point.
! was as follows copied from his own
! manuscript even the lapplausel part
MY friends, | am glad TO meet you
( on this occasion, for l have wished to
say to you publicly what | think Of
you, though our acquaintance has not
been long. Coming as a stranger
among you, was only partly prepared
for what was in store. Now, let me
say TO you that half has not been told
me. tApplause.l In the internecine
arena your lethlferous conduct has
artounded me by the trucidation and
decision characterizing it among no
men / have ever known. loud ap-
plause.l In the diversified field Of
mendaclty your efforts would make
] Machiavelli take 60 the tall timber.
! [Uproarlous applause.l In all fura-
clous. raptorlal and predacious pur-
suits you have done such wonders
that the gifted and great Jonathan
wild would have felt his latrociny
was a sounding brass and his direption
tlnliling cymbal. tGreat applause.l
In the broad expanse of labor your
torpescent oscillation has made you
sui generis among all pandiculate man
kind. [Cheers and shouts OF Good Tor
usyl AS good livers, your tables
groan beneath their stercOraceous and
lmpetlglnous burden, and as drinkers
your temulent bibacity has made the
crapulous reputation Of Bacchus TO be
a sign OF puritanlcal abstemiousness
loud applause.l AS for yourselves,
take pleasure In saying here to you
without fear of successful contradic
ton, that your nugacity is forever
! established; as observers OF the law
your aberrance is Pathological ant
personally you are cohesive concat
enatlon OF rubigant exuvi@. that
take especial pleasure In believing doe
not exist elsewhere on earth. IVocif
! erous applause.l"
When the enthusiasm had coole'
down somewhat, he proceeded to speal
on the subjects before the meeting an,
sat down. The mountaineers wer
! pleased TO death with the college man
high flown speech about them, an
though | didn't know the meaning o
all the big words he used did know
that he had been calling them liars an
murderers and thieves and scoundrel
and drones and lawless drunkards, bt
sides condemnlng their fare and anatl
ematlzing the lot of them PERSONAL,
But not one OF them suspected, and
was hoping nothing would come of
aud they would forget, even II any Q
tile large words were remembered
when one day a book agent drove n
TO the office In n blackboard and an
nounced that he was selling Webster
Unabridged Dictionary for 81 cop
} aud showed sample that was as bl
as a box OF soap.
| Nobody had ever seen so much boo
for the money, nor had anybody eve
seen a dictionary In that neighborhoo'
and when the agent began TO tell wha
IA valuable thing II was 20 be In ever
. family the men became interested, an
It wasn't long until the agent had sol
25 copies, 10 be delivered the followin
week. When be had gone away wit
his sample, called the young ma
into the private office for consultation
Don't say a word" he began q
soon as he had closed the door.
know exactly where / am at an
I'll be some place else before Mr.. Wei
ster arrives 10 throw any Hight on m
recent remarks. 1 am not sheddin
any tears, aud in order that the di
tlonary buyers and others may knO
Just what think OF them 1 shall leaN
two dozen copies OF my speech for di
trlbution on the morning Of my d
parture."
lie did Just as he said he would. an
IL was a good thing for him that
never came back any mOre.-W.
hampton In Washington Star.
That's All.
In proof OF the assertion that u
,,.,.ta IL o,ro,yInO baffar remarked %