The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-01-20

polics department I have seldom come
across anything more humorous than
letter recently received at The detective
headquarters. said captain of Detectives
Lohrer, Of Cleveland We arrested
man wanted in city not q hundred
miles from here and W wirei the mar
shall to come az once and get Ais pris-
oner. He wrote Us a letter and sais:
Please hold - Tor one week There IS
an excursion 20 cleveland then ana I
can get cheap rates Don'I forget 10
hold him and see abou. q cheap tickes
70 here for my man.
zB
An Episcopal bishop made Mr Pin
gree's acquaintance. Bell gerent as he
was. ndr. Pingree gave evidence OF back
wardness and shyness. for ne was none
too well posted On bishops. ana didn't
know Just how to take them
Il see BY the papers thar you are much
addicted 70 swearing said the bishop
Eyes, I've seen something ~ that kind
in the papers myself, said Hazen, act
ing very much ike a snail IN the act
of pulling in its shell
well" said The bishop Judging ~
what you have to contend with. wau
not be surprised II you did swear pref
t. o4fen."
IS
took a spin into the country When they
were .perhaus ten miles out they dedse5
TO have q race One OF them got far
ahead of the other and. in dashing
round a turn. ran into 2 pile q stones
The wheels were demolished and the
rider found himself lying among the
spokes. An old woman who happened
70 be passing. was met by the second
rider.
MY good woman" said he. have you
seen a young man riding q bicycle on
ahead?"
NO" said the woman: "but I saw
a young man no the road who was st
ting on the ground mendlng umbrellas
C1uny Macpherson. whose death oc-
CURED recently in Scotland. on a GER
tain occasion, having dealings In his cas-
tie with one of the very poorest Of his
clansmen. led him into one of the rooms
which has just been recently decorated
at great expense.
What do you think Of this?" oueriad
the chieftain. 1.-THE vanishing alone OF
this room cost me 2150"
That's naethln' ava" was the aston
ishing response. If yen come along tae
ma bit hoose. All show We room that
cost faur mair than that tae De coated %
colonel wondering that he had never
heard Of 1t before. When he visited the
place, a pcor-looking. matched little
Digging" he was shown into a room
so dark thar ne could scarcely see. with
its walls literally blackened By the
smoke from peat fire
Here's ma room" exclaimed the fri-
umphant tenant. "A mark cot thar il
took five hummer loads O peat tae coat
it. and at los. the load that makes two
hummer nd Afty punt
z q q
Two young ladies on St Paul street.
Baltimore. went to the theater the other
evening and their father thinking they
had a latchkey. went to bed at his usuai
hour, and the servants all Jeff. When
the ladies returned they rang the bell re-
Deatedly and beat on the door. but got
no answer. Finally they began to de-
spair when neighbor who had been
awakened by the din appeared IN white
at bis window opposite and asked what
was the matter.
I'VE are locked out, and cannot awake
papa. came the reply in duet
wait a minute" said the quick-witt d
man on the other side Of the street.
you father has a telephone In his room
and ] VIII cali him up" So the central
vas called
Give me No. -" said the neighbor.
AS soon as the bell sounded in the
room OF the sleeping father he aw0ke
with start and ran 70 the telephone
Helloi What is the matter2'
Is that you. so and so7'
Yes, what IS wanted2"
Your daughters are at The front door
trying to get in. open the door. Good
night"
gE re
The element Of the unexpected which
Irish fun crops ont in other
places besides the court room. II may
be an old story. but it IS as perennial
as its subject Of the priest who preach
ed sermon on Grace" An me
brethren" he said IN conclusion. IT ye
have wan spark av heavenly grace
wather it, wather IT continually
Another priest who had delivered what
seemed 10 him an excellent ami striking
sermon was anxious 10 ascertain ifs ef-
feet on his flock. Was the sermon to-
day to y'r liking. Pat1'' he inquired Of
one Of them.
.'froth, y'r riverance f. was q grand /
sermon entirely" said Pat. with such
genuine admiration that his reverence (
felt moved 70 investigate further
Was there any one part of 81 more +.
than another that seemed 70 take hold
Of yo2" he INQUIRED
well, now. as re ere for akin me.
5egorra. III tell ye what fak hoult a. 4
me most was y'r parseverauce- way /
Sc wint over the same thing agin and /
agin and agin."
sss
A very small pile ~ coal Jas On The
Sidewalk IN front ~ q houee or street
southeast A corresondingfy small san .
8 e.slrs
ny g. scented JOB He rang the eoor
sel
Am dat Won ais coaIe~ ~ asked ere
ady who appeared a. the door
yes
wanted It toted inz' {
yes"
KANT 7 git TIRE fob"
'Way. you're pretty small. and Then
ION might charge too maeh- you might
sk more fhan 7 coul3 pay
''Hov much te Te got7' asked TIRE
mai man o b9siHsss KIN IN raise a
IoLah1
"oh. my goodness. no~
"Seventy-fre ceutsf
"Nos ran along and soo't tofher me-
re she started ~ closs ths cor
sfehbe 70 yo'n % q cents~
Sa. ~, run along"
r reckons 70 an aia't 81 r Qsataa7a /
nNo
sa~s~ slzns7a
50. nof even airne7 rerasea ere zo-
nan. Reg ming - Iaag-
sven how n1uca o. pe8 zot - efaesfs~r-
e Hem showing aF rr eaaiT
osz waufer ~ 81
@Ive got ust nickel
wei IN fe7s iookiu' fs- 1ser.
- aaa he rtraizntwsv hesaa.