Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-03-28
copyright. 1901, by c. B. Lewis.l


Here. ind more ash Is peoples so by
/ him for repairs. Don't you see der
trick2"
but Thanksgiving vhas gone
AWAY"
dot makes no deeference. It vhas
der enterprise we look at Shall some
dago hat more enterprise ash you?
Eaferypody laughs about 'Thanksgiy-
ing Half Solos but eaferypody also
/ says, Behold dot enterpriser Hans.
give you some pointers You shall put
oop signs in your window. und if you
don't make some big hit l vhas a goat
You shall cooper der market ind make
dot dago climb tree"
don't know aboudt ii, ind my wife
don't know aboudt it. but dot plumber
he makes der signs, ind l put him oop
in der window. BY golly. but ! yhas
pleased when I read him. 1t says,
New Years Cement Patches" Wash
| ington's Birthday Shoestrings." Labor
Day Toe Tips" Decoration Day Heel
Lifts" Fourth of July Backing"
Thanksgiving Uppers" ind Christ
mas Cobbling." We get in all der holt
days, you see, und I vhas one year
ahead of dot dago.
"Hans. now you hat some heads on
you" says dot plumber. ''und in one
week you hat TO hire two men. Get
COP early in der morning und prepare
for some rush Of peesness."
vhas oop ny daylight ind half der
shop swept out ind by : o'clock dot
dago comes along und looks ut my
signs und almost falls deadt. He knows
he vhas Knocked oudt, ind lie goes of
mad. Poorly soon der first man comes
in und looks a me ind says:
"Cobbler. maybe you can insult me
ind get AWAY. but ! don't belief him."
How yhaS itEf / asks.
"Haf you got some signs oop der OF
st. Patrick Invisible Patches|"
Il don't belief So"
"yhen, Why not? yhas St Patrick
to be left oudt in dis deal? Wasn't he
a bigger man dan Labor day? Now.
you pat COP dot st. Patrick sign before
noon or l come back und gif you some
tired feelings
1 like To go ind see dot plumber
aboudt ST. Patrick. but before | vhAs
ready a second man comes in. He
vhas red in der face und breathes
hard ash he says:
''Cobbler, maybe you vhas an inno
cent man or l knock your headt right
off Don't you know dot my brother
yhas aldermans of dis wardT'
NO"
"Vhell he vhas, ind 7 like You to
know he vhas ten times ash big as
Thanksgiving. Go right at it una put
oop some sign of Alderman OToole
Rubber Heels 70 Order If you don't
do it, den look oudt for met
Ny wife pegins to cry aboudt dot
ind says some hurricane Was coming,
und l vhas making ready to 90 Ply der
plumber yhen der third man kicks
open der door und vhalks in ind yells:
"Py John. but how vhas dis? Don't
Christopher Columbus come into dis
deal2 Here vhas man who discovers
America und makes all desc holidays
for us. und yet you throw him down
for Decoration day. Cobbler. look NE
in der eye when | say I vhas Chvisto
piers friend. ind whoever insults him
insults me. / vhas by der city han to
pay my taxes ind when l come oack
you shall haf dot sign oop for Coiun-
bus or your heart vhill ache"
Dot settles me. vhas shust going
oudt doors to tell der plumber DOT /
don't hat no head on me ind don't
vhant one When der fat policemaus on
der beat comes COP und wafes lis climb
at me uud shouts:
50 dot vhas your IeetIe game eh2
Get back 10 dot shop while I talk NIT
you, Now. den. explain to ne aboudt
some signs look all oafer dot y n
dow uud ! don't see seine signs %
'pauolman Finnegan's Half S0las.'
Why don't you put him oop deref'
Il don't think Of IT," l says.
Don't lie 70 me. cobbler. You don't
put oop dot sign because you yhas
down On me uu1 don't like 10 see me
1 .-...-.....-N 49, .--srH