The age-herald., 1901-03-26
A Sunday Smile.

Shall I light the candle, your Honor asked Clerk Meade of Judge Feagin in the Police Court yesterday Tt Is very dark" added the clerk.
 You may turn on our incandescent electric light" said the judge. You seem to forget. MT. Clerk, that we have mod ern improvements in this court-that one electric light is equal to sixteen candles Same old gag of sixteen to one,' nut tered the clerk. as he reached for the electric light and turned 1t on. T don't see that that light is much of an i'm provement on candles" he said. Tt IS dark in here I think, your Honor, we must be under a cloud
 "It is the criminals who are under cloud" said the judge. Their color, as we'll as their ways, are dark. and there seems to be an unusually large number today. How many are there, MT Clerk!
 They ain't so many, your Honor. They are only go today" said the clerk.
 (Which one is 99?'' asked the judge
 "Ali of them put together are s. said the clerk This Is our spring opening, your honor, which accounts for the rush"
 We ought to get some more clerks them" said the ,udge. 'Is lot that the correct thing to do at spring openings?'
 There is no opening here for a clerk, ' said the incumbent of that position. For tunately we don't have to wait on every body at once.''
 We wait on everybody once, but not simultaneously" said the judge.
 Tt is more tumultuous than simultane- ous," said the sheriff. Everybody take seats. and don't push! he called out
 They all want to be in the push saic the judge. 'I think they are trying tc push that cloud away the clerk referred | to just now. It looks like a cloudy way | The milky way Is in heaven, but l won say where this cloudy way leads to- Let us get down to work now, and try these | four score and nine sinners" "Id like to make score, judge, saic a lawyer. i've got client here who will give you a run for his money wheth- CT he scores or not"
 People who run from the police ought to run for their money at the same time, said the judge, flor my observation iS that they will always need it. Who is your client?"
 "Bill Rutherford"
 How much is he charged with, MT Clerk?' asked the judge.
 "He is charged with selling whiskey on Sunday" said the clerk
 "I arrested him, your honor," said an officer. "I saw him come out of his saloon on Second avenue. Another man l~o4l bod happy and smiled. From the way they smiled outside I knew they had been smiling inside and l smiled to myself as I arrested them"
 That was selfish, to smile to yourself, said the Judge.
 Do you admit that you also were smiling on Sunday" asked the lawyer.
 Judge" said the officer, "I decline to answer any questions that may incrimi- nate myself when asked by criminal lawyer"
 "A criminal lawyer is not necessarily a criminal" said the Judge. You can answer his questions Policemen ought to be immune from incrmination."
 This Is a whisky case, Judge" said the officer, "and you are probably think ing of Carrie Nation"
 "The fact of the matter Is" said the Judge, T was thinking about the wealth CT. It certainly is raining hard
 Tt is a hard rain, judge" said the sheriff "It Is almost a tyrannical reign. If we don't look out the roof will leak. "
 T want some evidence to leak out, " said the Judge. Proceed with the tes- timony.
 Don't you know that my client didn sell whiskey on Sunday" asked the law yer of the witness.
 "No, sir; I know he did," replied the latter.
 Don't you know it was a treat?" asked the lawyer.
 Tt was a treat to see them smile,' said the officer T don't think the smiling inside was a treat"
 Don't you know that no money passeA?" asked the lawyer
 Tt must have been bad if it didn't" replied the witness.
 This is too bad, too bad" said the lawyer 'I cant get anything out of this witness. your honor, and I would like to put up one of my own"
 All right" said the Judge, but don't put him up to what he must testify to-" 1 A witness was then put on the stand and asked to state what occurred be- | tween him and defendant.
 T said something to him, judge" said the witness. q don't remember what il