The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1901-10-29
BOSTON MAN AND CAPSULES.
Fashion and Found 1t Very
Hot Stun.

He told the other patients at the
sanitarium that he was from Boston,
and said it much as he might have said:
Il am president of the United States"
But his fellows of unsound bodies did
not show the least readiness to fall
down on worshipful knees. Even had
he been one of the elect of Boston,
thoroughly starched and irOned as to
his mind, it is doubtful if they would
have made genufections, for Boston
is the better part of 1000 miles from
southern California, ana its awe-in-
spring radiance is weakly splut$er-
ing candle-light by the time it has
crossed the continent. And he was
not one of the elect, says Leroy NJ.
Scott, in WOman's Home Companion.
From Boston!" cried a rheumatic
young civil engineer, also from that
city. "Looks more like a man from
Posey county, Ind, or" he corrected
himself, ''like product of the tropical
zone-the land of eternal green"
Perhaps the young civil engineer
spoke sarcastically, for at times his
rheumatism played on his nerves as
though they were banjO-strings; but
he spoke very near the truth. Despite
his proud origin and an unlimited
amount of money green" fitted the
self-proclaimed Bostonian as if it
were a word tailored for him express
ly. His trousers were so bagged at the
knee that they looked knObby; his
shoes were of that once common sort
known as Congress-; his face was a
lurid sunset-red; and if that little
book on etiquette, called Don't" had
been destroyed to the last copy it
could easily have been reconstructed
from observation of his manners. Yet
he said he was from Boston; and as
further proclamation of this fact he
always carried with him volume of
Emerson's essays book which no
one ever saw him read.
One day he sent word to the medical
director of the sanitarium that he was
feeling decidedly out of sorts. The
medical director came, looked him
over, asked few questions, and went
away. A few minutes later a nurse
brought to the Boston mans room a
small box of capsules that contained
white powder. In accordance with
the time directions on the box, half an
hour later he proceeded to taketwo
of the capsules, and to take them after
his own fashion, for this was his first
experience with them. He carefully
emptied the contents of the two into
spoon, added a little water, and then
! emptied the spoon into his mouth.
Immediately he fell upon his bed,
and writhed and coughed and called
aloud. A nurse attending patient in
an adjoining room hurried in in re-
Spouse to his cries.
"Water!" he gasped.
The nurse hastily poured him a
glassful of water, which he gulped
down. Then she called the physician.
When that gentleman rushed in, the
man from Boston Indignantly de,
manded:
'See here"-a fit of coughing.
''what did you give me that Internally
hot stuff for?"
The doctors quick eyes lit upon the
empty capsules, and he instantly
knew the cause of the trouble.
'You fool" he cried, in exaspera-
ton. The doctor specified the exact
variety of fool, but there is no use
writing down his word, for the editor
would cross it out. you fool! OF
course it's hot! That's why 1 put it
up in capsules What did you take it
out for?"
A knowing look came over the face
of the man from Boston. "Say, now, "
he demanded, sarcastically, ''you don't
suppose L wanted that isingglass
down in my stomach, do yOu?"