The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-02-24


The superintendent Of schools at spo-
kane Washington, DESTROYS OF testing the
powers Of composition existing IN a class
Of S-year-ol4s, requested Ihat three sen
fences be written. each % contain one
Of the three words, bees boys and
bear. A sluan girl laboriously con-
cocted the following sentence.
Boys bees bare when they so in swim
ming.
SIR Frank lockwood was once eagagea
IN a case in which Sir Charles Russell
CHE late Lord Chief Justice ~ Ensiand)
was the opposing counsel Sir Charles
was irving 20 browbear q witness into
giving q direct answer. Yes" = No
You can answer any question yes or
mo- declared Sir Charles. "Oh. can you1
retorted Lockwood; may ask il you
have left OF beating your wife2''
II the following is q chestnut I hope
it may be par5oned on It's merits
little boy was once asking for informa-
ton about the habits and customs Of
cannibals Having satisfied himself Up
10 a point he concluded that they were
very wicked and asked # they would so
10 he'll. He was assured that sGch was
the fate in store for them. How dread
FUR he said. And I suppose "a. the
good men they have eaten VIII have t.
60 too?'
gs
It know the ability of my friend from
Tennessee to draw a fine point" said
"Uncle joe Cannon when Represe ntative
Richardson started 20 argue a point o.
order. This was said with q view 10
shutting off a long debate which was
cd 'y-i
Yes. and I know the ability o. your
friend from Illinois TO get around
fine point" promptly replied ar. Rich
arGson. Uncle joe was -ced to join
in the laugh which followeo his apt re
tort.
Eg gg
once had eat which always sat I'd
to the dinner-table with me. and had his
napkin round his neck. and his plate
and some fish, says a writer 81 the Gias-
gov Times. He used his paw of
course; but he was very particular and
behaved with extraordinary decaruIn.
When he had finished his FISH 7 some
times gave him a piece Of mine. One
day he was not 10 be found when the
dinner-bel rang. so we began without
him. Just as the plates were being put
round for the entree, puss came rushing
up stairs. and sprang into his chair
with two mice in his mouth Before he
could be stopped he dropped a mouse
on to his own plate and ther& one on 20
mine. He divided bis dinner with RE as
I divided mine with him
x
Senator'S are talking Of a very witty
reply By Charles A Towne OF Mime
sofa 10 Senator Chaupcey NJ Depew, Of
New York. says the Washington Post
At the conclusion Mr. Townes
speech last Monday he received couErat-
ulations from many of his associates i'm
GLIDING Mr. DeDew. who bad been an
interested listener throughout
'sAfr Towre." sale Senator Depew. 'I
congratulate you Your delivery was fine.
your diction elegant. your peroration SUI
perb, and your argument damnable.
Mr. Depew." replied Senator Tawue
Instantly, Il am delighted 10 know you
approve Of the only features of It you
could comprehend"
Senator Depew laughed as heartily as
others who heard it al Mr.. Towue sre-
tort.
RgE
Every cold snap" brings out on the
side streets a fresh crop Of tramps and
beggars.
In the neishborhood o. Union Square
new beggar has an interesting method.
Tie goes I'D to any benevolent-lo0klng
man he sees holds out q slip cut from
the wanted" column OF newspaper.
reading. 'sWanted-A druggists c.erk A.
40 - Ninth avenue and asks "Win
dou kindly tel me how far up Ninth
avenue that is2" Invariably the man dc
speaks to viii stop read the slip ana
answer that u must be a long way u1
town, somewhere above Seventeen
street
I'm a stranger here" continues THE
beggar; what is the shortest way ~ get
ting thare2' The victim probably ad
vises him 10 take the Sixth avenue ele-
waited
"Ah.v returns the tramp. deiectedIy
''I can't do that, J haven't rot the fare.
IF you'll lend If to me. TIL send D -
you in postage stamps when I get the
place" and he generally gets the FIVE
cents.
Mark Twain declares that when a man
makes an appeal for CHARITY Il IS a great
mistake to get everybody reads 10 give
money and then not pass the hat some /
years ago Ia Hartford. be said TIE other I
day I'VE all went 10 church on q aot, F
S weltering night. % hear the annual re-
port Of Mr.. Hawley city missionary.
" ho went around finding the people who
needed help and didn't want 20 ask Tor +
fl. de told OF the fe On the a. lars. +
y here poverty resided, ha gave Instances f
Of the heroisn and devoti ~ tie poor +
The poor ere always good % each other +
When o man with millions gives
make a great deal ~ noise dts noise
10 the wrong place. For III the wld
mite that counts. Wen. Hawiev worked
no up 10 O great state ! couldnf wal.
for him % set through 7 had f0gr 1n-
ired dollars in my pocket. wanted ~
give that and borrow more ~ ale Joa
could sos greenbarks in every efe Esf
be- didn't pass rte plate and 81 grew
lotter and we sleepier dy sn'hnm
went down. down. down-one hsrcrs
soiiars AZ a tiuc tiil Gnallv. naen fr
1late came around. stole Ten cets os
u IT, 50. sou sec q negiect Ike fai
nay lead 20 crime
Auders ZoFn Chs artst waDa paint-
1gs we're 80 popular Be- trfs caausfy cay
~ ana after tbe wrs fsfr IS sa4l
. De q man q marked - -alisrties. ofa
e them being s pronounced ffeTEgH
.ot 10 gay bluGtneza - apee fle
.ad painted fgii-lensea portrait -
car ~ ~ Swedeu. and she king was 50
gell uisaee3 uffh 81 fha hs afat
g 1is caaHaherialr - the paefer
aform hlm nat fis majesty 6eare5 r.
il asaIa, ta.s time ~ best portrait
le answered Lrn FL
1si nasal toae ar
easat eyes r Eat f
s. majesty tzaf Ga ant ~ ra
sm @ s.
am ret EouE - ~ rl
e seI =
Te re5 fee H
end fsen - reraes 20 n
rs .e1 the KRIS tt Zw