Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-11-09

be begging for your living?"
Weary Willie-"Not a bit, mum; / wuz
educated fer de ministry. Judge.
Looked Ahead.-He-"I you didn't
love me. why did you marry me?" She
cared to be divorced from. Brooklyn
Life.
Pat-"Poor Tooley: Plat a pity he
never lived I enjoy his life inshoorance
Oh, wall, Oh s'pOse well all be dead
shum day, if We live long enuff.''-
Judge
Papa, what's the difference between
cian?'
"Oh, from two to twenty thousand a
| year. Life.
'Do you miss your husband as much
as when he first went awayy
''No, | am becoming reconciled. You
see, he sent me power of Attorney
Brooklyn Life.
Carte Blanche.-His Daughter-'I
can't go there without a chaperon." Mr.
| Struckoyle-''We you get it, whatever
| it is, and let 'em send me the BILL
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Guinnivoice-"I never have any
trouble with baby. I've only to sing TO
him and he goes right off to Sleep"
Mrs. Phaser-"What a knowing child"
Boston Transcript.
The turkey sees the axe approach.
Its mission doth divine,
So first his heart Is In his month
And then In yours or mine.
-Harper's Bazaar.
THE 4 O'Clock train. 1 thought you
said q O'Clock 1t is after 2 now. | shall
not have time to pack and dress
There's. plenty of time, my dear-if
you don't hurry. Life.
Here the man married; for he was
aweary of working.
"A better half is better than no loaf
at all"' he observed. not unphilosophic-
ally.-Detroit Free Press.
Faith in -Towne-'Do / under
stand you to say that Spender's case was
really a faith cureY' Browne-''Yes.
You see. the doctor and the druggist both
trusted him. Philadelphia Press
On the Streets of Munich.-"Can you
direct us to a good restaurant" What
do you drink-wine or beerY' I'VE
drink only water Then what are you
doing in Munich ?"-Fliegende Blaetter.
THE OLD SAYING.
When Pat Devine kissed Kate Magee
She was as mad as she could be.
But when he begged her: "Kate be nine:''
TO Ter twas human to forgiy,, Deyine.
Philadelphia Press.
Mistress Bridget, You kissed that po-
liceman last night. Now. don't want to
see YOU doing that again
Brdget-"All right, mum; Oil plug up
the kayhole the mkt tonne he calls. -
Tit-Bits.
An Eternal Vow Edith suppose
he swore to love you till the earth grows
old and the stars grow cold and all
thatT Ethel-"Oh. longer. He swore
to love me till that Chinese indemnity
was paid. Judge.
Her Mother-'I saw him kiss you. ]
am terribly shocked. [ did not for
moment imagine he would dare take such
Il liberty. Herself-"Nor did /, ma In
fact | bet him Il pair of gloves he
daren't."-Tit-Bits.
Faym,"How do you like my new
gown gov, IN Ma thi very pretty DO
was just crazy to get one like it when
they came into fashion two years ago.
Philadelphia Record.
NO" said fond mother, speaking Of
her 25-year-old daughter, mo, May isn't
old enough to marry yet. She cries
whenever anyone scolds her. and until
she becomes hardened enough to reply
vigorously she isn't fit for a wife. Tit
Bits.
Hit wuz a mighty cold day." said the
old deacon, zen dey wuz some excuse fer
de passon maxim dat big. mistake in his
text, fer stidder sayin' Many is called.
but few is chosen he give il out, Many
Is cold, en- Il few is frozen. Atlanta
Constitution.
Il know of no rarer delight than to
drink in this mountain air. exclaimed
the Colorado tourist, eestatically
"Yew hain't tasted tn whisky they sell
down tew tn Broken Bow salune parent
ly." replied the stage driver-B Boston
Post,
Little 4-year-old Mabel. coming into
the room one day and finding the bahy
with one end Of Il door-key in his mouth,
exclaimed; Baby, take that key right
out of your mouth. or the first thing YOU
know YOU will have the lock jaw. -Glas-
gov Evening Times.
After a thunderstorm Bridget informed
her mistress that someone on the golf
links had been struck by lightning.
Was it one of the caddy boys?" in
quired the lady.
NO, mim | think his name was Muir
ply" replied Bridget. Brooklyn Life
4 Suggestion am not yery
we'll impressed with the house." said the
prospective tenant The yard is fright
fully small; there's hardly room for d
single flower bed,'' Think 500" replied
the agent; "but--cr-mightn YOU use
folding flower beds? "-Philadelph
Press.
Upton jokes are still going the rounds
One is: They say that Sir Thomas has
had to discharge his cook Why? Be
cause she couldn't turn the steak in time.
Auother You know Upton always
drinks his tea from the saucer? Why?
Because he cant lift the cup.-New York
Inv