Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-05

she said that in order for them
TO get into the Running 1t would be
necessary to take a House out on the
Avenue and begin to entertain every
one VINO had a Drag. Alec proposed
that they slip back TO where they
could be the biggest Ducks in the Pud-
die without Hnuckling Under TO any
body, but Elvira thought of the l-knew-
her-when and she said they had come
up to get into Society and they were
going to get in even il they had to dig
Tunnel. Alec wanted TO know what
it would be like, but she couldn't say.
She said Society was something like
the Masons. The only Way To find out
all about It was to Get In, an those who
were in didn't dare tell, But she
thought it must be EXhilarating, or
there would not be so many trying to
Butt in. She said that after she hadsbe-
come identified with the Swell Set she
expected 10 cause a good deal OF Point
ing and W hispering wherever she Went,
and once a Year she would get her
Name on the Programme for the Dog
Show She said that the General Pub
lie would all the time be wondering
what she was go ng TO do next. and she
would be in the Papers so often that at
ter awhile the Printer would get tired
of setting up her Name and would keep
it Standing in Type the same as@the
Notice for Sarsaparilla. Alex didn't
see the good OF It. but he held on to
her Dress, assdirected, and she tookshlm
over the Jumps, Only he warned her
that he would not wear Piece of Glass
in his Eye,or smoke Cigarettes because
those things did not Fit his kind OF a
Face
The Family leased a large chilly
House built in the Style of Louis the
Something, and engaged an Englishman
with a Petrified Face TO Buttle for them
and began TO go to Places where People
didn't mead Invitations in order TO get
in. Now and then Elvirl or Farina
would clutch Alec by the Arm and whis-
per. Here comes one now" and then
the Woman Folks would hold their
Breath until the Representatives OF the
Most Exclusive Circleahad passed'pn.
He pears the same as anybody else
to me-" Alec would say. Up here
where everybody wears these John
Drew Clothes and puts up a touch-me-
not Front, / don't see how yon can tell
1sother from Which"
there was a Woman named Mrs.
Whetherby-Cme. who had little Book
in which she kept a List Of all the sure
enough, sassafrasscented specimens OF
the Aristocracy, and no matter how
much Agony you threw on, II you were
not in this Book. your Name was Den
mis-. SO the Game was to mcgee this
Hyphenated Lady to let down The Bars
and stamp your Ticket.
After they had been thrashing around
the Outposts for a few Months without
seeing a Chance to slip through the
Lines, Elvira decided to give Dinner
and invite all the Well-known Charac-
ters they had met, and make 1t a sort
of an opening Wedge When the Re
grets came pouring in. it seemed that
every new Acquaintance was lnalsposeo,
or had Serious Illness in the Family or
was compelled to Decline on account OK
a Recent Bereavement Alec read all
these Throw Downs, and said there was
one Consolation If there was that
much sickness and Death in the local
-Four Hundred. he figured that the
whole Cahoodle would be Extinct in
couple of Years. and then he would be
afforded a happy Relief from his Trou-
bles.
Elvira and Farina were hanging on
the Ropes for a few Days after the pro-
posed Dinner Party made Fizzle, but
they did not Give Up. they pulled
themselves together and resumed Saw
ing Wood. They shattered Aces
Money on Subscription Lists and forced
their way into all tho Charity Dress
Parades. and got a large upholstered
Pew right in the Parquette Circle 81
the Church attended by the Notables,
and they positively refused to DC over
looked.
After three Years OF Patient Endeav-
or they got their Wish. for all Things
come to him who puts up his Margins
and continues TO look Pleasant and VINO
is 90 Resilient that he comes back into
shane every time the Band@Wagon runs
over him. Blvira and Farina and Alec
were invited to Break Bread with Mrs.
Wetherby-Glue.
"To-night's the Might" said Elvira,
trnbling like an Aspen. You want
to be sure and Laugh every time tha
Mother Superior. springs ono OF ner
Mots and remember that the little Cup
early I'm the deal contains Consomrna
and not Tea. so don't toss any Loaf
Sugar into 1t, or back 30 the coa+try
we 90"
After the Triumphant Event, when
they were coming homeward in the
Carriage. there was a Sound OF snbdued
Cussing. 1t was Alec.
aT don't like to Beef" he said. But
feel ike the Farm Hand from Musca-
tine that counted out his summers
wages and then picked UP the wrong
Shell"
Cheer mp said Elyira. III was a
tolerably punk Evening. but. thank
goodness. we have arrived. ~ the way,
where were you all during the solagn-
ities2'
"Tney had me tucked away behind
the shrubbery al the Foot % the
Table." replied Alec. a spare Lady
and we're hiding down there together.
She told me all about her Spltz Dog.
and said Yes. ma am over 500 times
7 calculate that I have put In the best
Years OF My Life and blown $4,000
to End out about that Dog. Stop the
Hack: / want to get something 10 Eat"
And he got ont and went Unto an
Oyster Bay.
Moral. The cheapest and best way
20 and out about Gay Society u 10 buy