davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
HUMOROUS.

"How do you like these new shoes
of mine?" by jove, old chap, they're
immense! '-Indianapo1is News.
Il understand that Spiffins is strictly
in ii" said Dukane. In what?" asked
GasweH. In ebt''-Pittsburg Chron-
icle.
He thought the gun wasn't loaded"
But it really was loaded?" after he
found it out it t."-Philadelphia
Press.
Did you ever see the sea serpent?"
NO. sir, L never did. 1 quit when I
began to see anacondas.' '-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
Tess-'So he really said he thought
me very witty, eh?" Jess-''Not exact
~. He said he had TO laugh every time
he saw you Philadelphia Press.
Mamma = willie, what is your
brother crying for?" Willie-"Oh, just
because l took his cake and showed
him how to eat it. ''-Philadelphia Rec
ord
1t s. peculiar what makes most peo-
pie busy" remarked Mrs. Kostique.
What's that?'' asked the inquisitive
Mrs. Naybor. idle curiosity Phil
adelphia Record
Proud Mamma-"Don't you think lit
tie Harold's head is a great deal like
his father's?" Uncle Bill-"Yep; moth
ing on the outside and not much on the
inside. baltimore American.
Seems to me I've seen you before,
sir. Your face looks very familiar
very possibly. I've been warden of
the penitentiary for the last ten years,
and l kept the poorhouse before that -
-Pick-Me-Up.
Doctor-"There's nothing serious
the matter with Michael, Mrs Null
doom. [ think little soap and water
Will do him as much good as any
thing" Mrs. Muldoon-'Yis, docthor;
an will Oh give it t. him befoor or
afther his males ?"-Glas gow Times.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Big Forgery of Railroad Tickets.

AS a result of the arrest, on August IL, of
A ticket brokers' concern at St. Louis,
charged with swindling customer, gigan-
tic railroad ticket counterfeitinp scheme
was uncovered. After the arrest of the
brokers their Office was ransacked and an
immense number of tickets and passes found
1t was almost impossible to place an esti-
mate on the value of the tickets recovered
but it is stated by IA road authorities that
S@o,OO0 would be a conservative figure. 1t is
believed that many of the tickets and passes
were forged
At Buffalo number of ticket scalpers
have already been lodged in jail on account
of fraudulent manipulation and forgery of
railroad tickets. These instances are so
numerous the public should take pains to
see that their tickets are purchased only
at the authorized offices OF transportation
lines, This avoids all complication and
trouble to the passenger and assures him
that the railroad tickets purchased are
change.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

John HerZiger, son of Alderman Her
Tiger, of Neenah, Wis, and Vice Presi
dent of the Neenah Young Mems Club,
writes in recent letter to The Peruna
Medicine Co., of Columbus, Ohio, the
following:
'.Affer suffering for two years with
kidney trouble Irecefved relief and a
cure from using your wonderful medj-
cine, Peruna.
"FOr months was unable to work
on account of a severe pain i'm my back,
and when was able to do anything
was i'm pain and distressed most of the
time.
"Hearing 50 much of tire good re-
suits people had obtained through the
use of Peruna determined to give it a
trial and it was q lucky day for me
when did SO. am well now and Ii
only took a few bottles of Peruna. -
John Herziger, 307 Commercial street,
Neenah, Wis.
Two years suffering with eatarrh of
the kidneys, unable to work on account
of the severe pain; could find no relic
from medicine; gave Peruna trial and
was promptly cured-such was the ex-
perience of John Herziger, of Wiscon-
sin.
This experience has been repeated
many times. Not only in Wisconsin
but in every state in the Union. 1t was
indeed lucky day for this young man
when his attention was called to Pc
runa. What would have been the re-
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
CATARRH OF KIDNEYS
Quickly Develops Into BTight's Disease.


suit had he continued suffering on ana
1oohng away precious time with other
remedies, no man can tell. But it is al
most certain that it would have ended
In incurable Bright's disease of the kid
neys, which sooner or later would have
proved fatal.
Peruna is sure cure for incipient
Bright's disease of the kidneys. Taken
In the early stages of this disease, 10
cures permanently. Bright's disease
always begins with catarrh of the kid
neys. Peruna cures catarrh wherever
located.
Congressman Bankhead's Statement.
Congressman J. 81. Bankhead. of
Alabama, one of the most influential
members of the House of Representa-
tives, in letter written from Wash
ington, ID. c., gives his Endorsement to
the great catarrh remedy, Perupa, in
the following words:
ssYour Peruna Is one of the besf
medicines 1 ever tried, and no family
should be without your Remarkable
remedy. As tonic and q cafarrb cure
I know of nothing better. ~ III.
Bankhead.
Samuel r. Sprecher, Junior Beadls
Court Angelina No. 1922 l. o. o. F., POS
- 1S's LIS AL ClCS, Sdl, NTllSS.
II came here few years ago suffer-
ing with catarrh of the kidneys, in
search of health. 1 thought that the
climate would cure me but found that
was mistaken, but what the climate
could not do Peruna could and did do.
Seven weeks trial convinced me that I
had the right medicine and L was then
we'll man. L know of at least twenty
friends and members of the lodge to
which belong who have been cured of
eatarrh, bladder and kidney trouble
through the use of Peruna and it has
host of friends in this city."-Samuel
Z. Sprecher.
If you do not derive prompt and sat-
isfactory results from the use of Pc
runa, write at once to DIR. Hartman,
giving full statement of your case
and he will be pleased to give you his
valuable advice gratis.
Address DR.. Hartman, President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, o.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
A NARROW ESCAPE.

Bath, N. Y, Sept. 16th.-There is
now at the Soldiers and Sailors
Home here an old soldier who has
been nearer death than anyone who
has lived to tell the story.
His name is A. Z. Ayers. For many
years he lived in Minneapolis, Mimi,
where he is well known.
Four physicians of that city once
told Mr.. Ayers that he could not live
four days. He had Brights' disease.
AS a last resort he tried Dodd's
Kidney Pills. He is strong and well
to-day.
He says: 81 was in the very pres
ence of death but Dodd's Kidney Pills
saved me. They are the greatest
medicine in the world"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

The class in Latin was reading from
Horace's odes some of those old pastorals
that lead the metropolitan pupil to believe
there is only one pleasure in turning the
soil, tending sheep and milking cows in win
ter. The lesson that day included poem
OF the peasant, his good wife, their coy
home and an observation on the duties of the
day. The poem had spoken of CONCEALED
streams, indicating winter night and then
led the peasant to his stable, where he en-
gagged in milking. The translation of line
was: How sweet to press the distended
udder of the kline" What do you think
OF the construction OF that line, Mr.. Blank ?"
Hsked the instructor of a country youth
well, l am very certain Horace never
mllked cow on a winters night or he
would have left that out or put it in his
Gatires. Troy Times
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

Buffalo, N. Y, June 14-(SpeciaD.-I write to
tell you how much Cascarets Candy Cathartic
have done for me in the past year, and you may
send any or all of the people of Western New York
to ne and use my name as strongly as you wish.
injury to my spine and the spinal cord was hurt,
and OF course was paralyzed from the hips down.
The doctors could not move my bowels, saying
that that they would never move again, and one
Of the doctors-my own cousin-an army surgeon,
said syringe could not be used on account of the
large bone being broken and bad: and they also
said that could not live six months, if that long
Well, thanks to God and your candy cathartic
Cascarets, sit here four years later in my wheel
minutes on clutches, and say that your Cascarets
have saved my life, and. with old Mother Natures
week for two and one-half years. But my case is
one in 100000 to recover at all; and had the best
OF doctors too all saying the same thins-no hope.
But we fooled them all this time.
George w. Herniman SO Boyd St, Buffalo, NY
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
I 3 3 PAINT

When you paint you want
it, I to last; 2 look we'll; 3
protect your house. Some
paint does /, not 2 or 3;
some does 2 awhile, not 1 or
3; lead and oil does , well, 3
fairly, l badly.
Better have it all; 1 2 3
paint: Devoe ready paint;
the best isn't too good.
Get Devoe of your dealer; take moth
ing less. Pamphlet on painting sent
free if you mention this paper.
GOOD-PAINT DEvOE, CHICAGO.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Original.

AS the farmer entered the town
a courtly man drew near with a view
to swindling him.
You can't sell me gold brick.''
said the farmer, at once.
How original you arel" said the
man.
YES" said the farmer, ST am a
mark, of course, but 1 am no mere
ditto mark, tell you those!"
The man started violently at this.
And had it not been for the others
pure, limpid David Harum dialect, he
would have had his suspicions.-De-
troit journal.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

, The best of farm lands can be obtained
now in Marinette County, Wisconsin, on the
Chicago, Milwaukee st. Paul Railway, at
a low price and on very favorable terms.
Wisconsin is noted for its fine crops, excel
lent markets and healthful climate Why
rent farm when you can buy one much
cheaper than you can rent and in few years
It will be your own property. For particu-
lars address F. \. Miller General Passenger
Agent, Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Rail
way, Chicago
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Cauldn,f WIne Il

A teacher was instructing a class of in
fants in the Sunday school and was letting
the children finish her sentences to make
she said, @but it couldn't" See" cried
the children. at had ears, but it couldn IT,
Hear said the class at had lips, but
it couldn't" Speak" said the children.
IT had nose, but it couldn't" Wipe
it, shouted the little ones, and the teacher
had to pause in her lesson.-London lid
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
MIRACLES OF TODAY
The Wonderful Stories of Two Peo-
pie Saved from Horrible Death

1t probably never occurred before that two people
horribly afflicted in entirely different ways, and living
far apart mraculousy rescued from the very jaws
of death, by the means and almost at the same
time. The stories of George Herniman, of Buffalo, and
Mrs George w. Sharp of Washington, Kan, read like
the wonders of Divine interference Let them tell their
experience in their own plain truthful language:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Slow

Towne-Isn't ne the most tiresome
ta1ker you ever heard?
Browne-Yes, he reminds me of a
woman sharpening a pencil.
Sets your nerves on edge, eh?"
Not only that, but it takes him
so long to get to the point.'-Phila-
delphia Press.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Dealing In Futures

spending few days at the seashore, that
our engagement will not prove to be mere
summer subterfuge"
81 hope your hope comes out" rejoined
the fair maid at his side, but one can never
tell what effect frost will have on such
things. Chicago Daily News
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Candid.

"The payple Oh live wild before"
said the new cook, '.wor plain.
ma am
"Well. are we not plain here?''
asked the lady.
"Troth, We are so, ma'am, but in a
different way. The others wor plain
in their way o Twin, not in their
looks, Observation-Disclosures Press.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
The Modern Eiopement.

Are you sure there will be no hitch in
our elopement" anxiously asked the beau
tiful maid.
How could there be hitch" assured the
ardent lover, when we are going in an au-
tomobile Chicago Daily News.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
An Overflow.

First Financier-Are you getting much
out of that new oil well?
Second Financier-Are we? About S., 900
. week, all in hve-dollar Subscriptions
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

Check Cold and Bronchitis with Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump.
ton has an equal for coughs and colds
John +. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Sensible.

1t is always sensible for people to
be economical - Washington Gal
Democrat
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES are the
brightest, fastest and easiest to use.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

Happy is the man who can't borro,
trouble.-Chicago Daily News.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

Washington, Kan, June 1-(Specia).-1 had
constipation of the worst nature for years. Med
icine had no effect upon my stomach, and my
stomach was in such condition from purgatives
that / could not take food. was taken to a hos
pital and my bowels were operated upon for con-
stipation. did not get any better going through
that terrible operation. My bowels were dead -
no action at all-and the doctors gave me up. I
could not eat anything but stale bread and water.
literally starving to death. Lost over 100 pounds
and was living skeleton. After trying everything
else ! gave Cascarets a trial, not thinking they
would help me. But they did right away. COM
get out of bed and then got so l could 60 out
had not done for over three
years. Now do all my work. My friends just
marvel; they say they never such a miracle.
tell them Cascarets did it. and they all want them.
weighed 60 pounds when commenced taking
Cascarets and now weigh 40.
Mrs. George w Sharp
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

Why don't you let folks advise you: The
enjoy it.-Washington Ua.) Democrat
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02
Coffee Trees.

Coffee trees require about four year,
to reach maturity and produce profit
able crops.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

a gsy decsiver q never gay lons-Atehi
SON Globe.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1901-10-02

No one should wait until such terrible affection
comes upon him or her, but use Cascarets always to
keep the bowels and internal organs gently and natr
ally active All druggists sell Cascarets the sweet aro
matte nevergrpng candy cathartc, 10c &c. Soc box
s @ G FREE FOR THE ASKING: sss
Address STERLING REMEDY co. Chicago and New York zs
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28

In an address to the students Of STAN
ford university, President Hadley, of
Yale, outlined an ideal system Of edu-
cation in which he said American uni
versities should join, He showed that
under the present conditions there was
an enormous waste, due largely to
rivalry and antagonlsm. Rivalry Is
bound to beget antagonism and the
creation Of so many institutions Of
higher education induces this One
trouble Ia that all want TO be uni
versites while few are fitted for II. II
the numerous universities" confined
themselves TO what was formerly
termed college work, and then sent
their students up TO some genuine uni
versity, the result would be better work
in the colleges and better work in the
university. The universities should be
relieved Of all preparatory work, and
those universities that are not truly
universities should not attempt univer-
sity work The consequence would be
better work in all our institutions OF
higher learning
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28
WEATHER FORECASTS.

The News" has received an advance
notice Of forthcoming scientific per-
iodical Of more than common interest.
II is to be published In 81. Petersburg.
Its chief editor is NJ. n. A. Demtchln-
sky. a civil engineer; and Its contents
are TO be devoted to weather forecasts
for the different parts Of the world. 1t
is TO be published in four different
languages, English, Russian, French
and German
NJ. pemstohinsky claims that the
chief factor in the weather Is the moons
attraction. and that trustworthy fore
casts can therefore be made for any
perlod in advance. He states that last
year he predicted morning frosts In
May. for the Moscow region, and an
eight-day dry period in June. The Sep
TENDER frosts and the beginning Of the
Russian winter were similarly predict
ed. An inquiry addressed to him by the
Volga shipowners as to when they could
expect the closing OF navigation on the
river elected the reply. month before
the closing took place. that II would &C.
cur on the 2Oth Of October. and that. Il
Is claimed, was literally fulfilled. The
owners that acted upon the warning
wen were saved from heavy losses.
t. e..f.. sea - sh-f = iour~ai savotad
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28
WISCONSIN ELECTION LAW.

The Wisconsin Assembly has passed
a primary election bill, proposed by
Governor La Toilette, which, II II also
passes the Senate, will revolutlonIze the
present political workings OF the State.
1t went through the lower house by
narrow margn-5i to sand Wisconsin
papers regard It as doubtful whether It
can obtain majority IN the upper
house. BY It party conventions Will be
abolished. and all nominations made by
the direct vote of the people, In the
primary meeting
The bill provides that nominations OF
all candidates shall be made directly
by the people; that primary elections
OF all parties shall be held on the same
day, that members OF ward and town
committees shall be chosen in the same
way and on the same day as candidates
for public office; that county commit
tees shall consist OF the chairmen of
town and ward committees and that
state committees shall consist Of the
chairmen OF county committees. The
whole measure was vigorously fought,
on the ground that the people do not
want any change In the election laws.
The friends OF the proposed reform In
sisted, however that a change was
wanted by which II should be made i'm
possible for party leaders to manipu-
late conventions In favor OF candidates
to whom the people would object, II
they had n fair chance to make them
selves heard in the matter,
The battle on this bill is characterized
as one Of the most exciting in the his
tory OF Wisconsin legislatures, II is
quite generally admitted that some re-
form in the mode Of election OF officers
is needed, Should the Wisconsin
proposition become law, It's operations
would be watched with close interest
IN other States. and II It proved a sue
cess Il would, no doubt be copied else
where Generally there is too much
indifference in regard to primary meet
ings, and voters are content with the
work at the polls With more import
ance attached to the primaries, these
would perhaps be better attended and
the selection of candidates would be
made with more regard for their fitness
than now often Is the case.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28

A UNIQUE bill has been introduced In
10 the legislature Of Pennsylvania by
Representative jeremiah Roth OF Allen
town. It places a tax upon bachelors,
and provides in the first section, that
ANY male citizen OF the commonwealth,
who Is twenty-one years Of age and de-
sires the office OF husband may pro-
cure a license as prescribed by existing
laws, provided he Is under forty years
Of age, but II the applicant Is over forty
years Of age, he shall before securing
the license, pay into the clerk OF the
courts office 500 as license fee which
this bill imposes on all bachelors over
forty years old" The wicked old bach
elor may not escape the fine by going
into another State and marrying. for II
he does and returns to his own State.
he will still have TO pay the hundred
dollars. Pennsylvania Is great state
but II is more than doubtful II her
legislature can make such impractical
legislation as this work. Human natf
is ag'in' It,"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28

Harpers Magazine for April mas me
following list of contents The sepnl-
chre in the Garden" John Finley The
Portion of Labor, a novel, part II,
Mary II. wilkins; Inspiration,
poem, Hildegarde Hawthorne; ser
pent. worshippers Of India" Walter II
Tribe; 1.-THE Point at Issue" a story
VIM. FarQuhar Payson; The Austria
liam squatter,' II. C. Macllvainee
Colonies and Nation" part iv, Wood
row Wilson; 1.-THE Medicine Grizzly
Bear" an Indian folk-talk, George
Bird Grlnnell; "The Right Of Way, a
novel. part ~. Gilbert Parker; "shad-
ows OF the Grass poem, Elizabeth
W. King Extracts From Adam
Diary" Mark Twain; "Optim," poem,
Virginia Frazer Boyle There Shall
be no Misunderstanding story
Hndegarde Hawthorne; THE Chohan
Bride" story. A. sarath kumar
Ghosh, "The Rise Of Berlin" Sidney
whitman, "Druce Fearing" story
Gelett Burgess; Editors Easy Chair,
VIM. Dean Howells; Editors Study"
The Editor; and Editors Drawer
conducted by Hayden Carruth'-Har-
per & Bros, New York.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28

The morning paper that so frequently
contradicts itself and then flies into
tantrums when confronted with It's d.
verse assertions, remarks now: Our
evening contemporary has a most COM
placent disposition. Certainly. That Is
one Of the distinctive marks of differ
ence between us and our ratified CON
temporary There are others, thank
heaven; but it is pleasant to find one
thing in which we twain can agree. Au
reyoir,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28

to meteorological observations and fore
casts would II It's predictions were re-
liable, be Of immense value to farmers
and shipowners, and TO many others.
When the journal appears, It VIII not
take It long to establish reputation.
II It proves Itself a true prophet, II
should receive the largest circulation.
It's forecasts VIII be made for many
stations IN Europe and America, and
Salt Lake City Is one Of them.
Weather forecasts are not, as rule
taken very seriously, but It Is evident
that anyone who can find the causes OF
heat cold. humidity, etc. Will come
pretty near being able to make true
predictions In that line And nova
days It is not safe to pronounce any
thing utterly impossible.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1901-03-28

The alternative OF an effective public
conscience, President Hadley says is
an emperor In Washington within TWEEN
ty-fiye years. Plenty OF people will
sneer at the notion But President Had
ley 10 not a mere bookworm He Is
very much a man of the world. He
is learned In books but he is learned
in men. too, and his studies for years
have been largely In very practical di.
rections and on the practical side he
has been q recognized authority for a
number Of years. When he gives this
warning II is not as If some recluse
gave II from his seclusion He speaks
as n scholar and a moralist, but he
speaks as plainly as any man Of the
people, and he appeals to the funda-
mental law OF simple justice and hon
esty. When he says that we have
drfted away from 1t in our political
and business life. and that there Is on.
ly one remedy, his Judgment must be
received with respect. II Is the voice
of an honest, practical man who usual
ly sees clearly and is no alarmlst.