Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-10-09


She-You were long time In the
Philippines, wernt you? He-Oh, yes.
Ever since the first time the war ended.
Life.
Trolley Car Conductor Say, this nick
ell is no good Mr.. Endseat-Well, never
mind; give 1t TO the company.-Brook-
lyn Eagle
There is one way that King Edward
can keep his chaplains busy" what
way" Praying for long reign
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss perte-I wouldn't marry man
unless | could look up to him. Miss
oldgyrle-Oh, well, Mile, you're young
yet.-Summerville Journal.
Jackson-I hear your baby was kid
naped. Currie-Yes. The kldnapers
have offered us $1,000 If we will take
him back, but we are holding out for
more.-Life.
She-You don't think a girl is wise
to marry a man In order to reform himf
He-Well, | think she Is apt to have
the luck of the average reformer.-
Brooklyn Life.
City Boarder-Tell me, did you ever
buy gold brick, Uncle Josh? Uncle
Geehaw (of Hay Corners, disgustedly)
Nav. But hey bought lots of bricks
thought was gold.-Broollyn Eagle.
"Yes, Mrs. Bouncer wanted to send
her daughter to Bryn Mawr but she de-
clded on Vassar" what Influenced
her decslon?" "She couldn't pronounce
Bryn Mawr."- Philadelphia Bulletin.
Parson Jackson-In de mattah oh
watahmelons, s'pose you b'liebe
stolen fruits am always sweetest? Sam
Johnson-I dunno. | aln't nebah eat
any but de one kind.-Philadelphia
Press.
McCourt-You know something about
horse racing. What Is meant by "the
favorite? Sport-A favorite is a horse
that would surely win If people only
wouldn't bet on him.-Philadelphia
Record.
Teacher-What Is an island? Bright
Boy (who had been reading the news
papers since Dewey sailed into Msnila
Bay)-An island is a body of land en-
tirely surrounded by the United States.
New York Times.
Miss Slappem-That Clara Wilder is
as good MS a circus! Think Of her be-
ing engaged three times this summer!
Mr.. Goodheart (extenuatingly)-Well.
she wouldn't be an up-to-date circus
without three rings!-Judge.
Mr.. Frontpew-I am glad you belong
to our church choir, my DEAR 1t is such
an orderly organization; never see you
| whispering to one another during SER
vices. Mrs. Frontpew-No, none of us
are on speaking terms.-Ohio State
Journal
Mr.. Pitt-These quarrels about the
battle Of Santiago make me excessively
weary. Mr.. Penn--Me, too Pretty
soon Spain will get 1t into her head that
she wasn't licked at all, and then she
will demand repossession of Cuba
Philadelphia Press.
She (petulantly)-I don't see why you
should hesitate to get married on f600
year. Papa says my gowns never
cost more than that. He-But, my dar-
ling, we must have something to eat.
"Oh, William Always thinking Of
! your stomachr'-Tit-B Bits.
The time for reflection: "Biddy," Pat
began, timidly, did ye iyer think av
marryin'?" Sure now, tn subject has
niyer inferred me thoughts" demurely
replied Biddy. Its sorry Oi am" said
Pat, turning away. "Wan minute, Pat"
called Biddy, softly, we've set me a
thinkin'. Bazaar.
Economy in the East: Briggs must
be getting queer in his top story"
"Wbat's the proofr HE had his bare
head out of his office window at noon
yesterday, and when | asked him what
he was doing, he said he couldn't afford
regular hair cut and was trying
SINCE. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Stranger-Didn't | understand you to
say you'd just come from the Buffalo
exhibition? How did you like it.?
Chance acquaintance-Pooh! Its a
poor little paltry twopenny- -half-penny
affair. Don't begin to compare with
Stranger-Indeed. BY the way, how
are things in Chicago now?-Puck.
Transparent excuses: Now, don't
tell me any story about misfortune, an
wantin' to be a hard worker, N all
that" said the hard-faced lady; Il
can see right through you" "Geew
said Dismal Dawson; 81 know | amt
had nothin' to eat for three days, but l
didn't know it had thinned me down
like that-Lesle's Weekly.
Circumstantial evidence: Papa
Where's my umbrella? I'm sure | put
1t in the hall stand with the others last
evening. Willie-I guess Mabel's beau
took it when he went home last night.
Mabel-Why, Willie! The idea!' VIII
lie-Well, when he was sayln'f good