Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-04-04
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In extenuatlon of that unique style
Of journalism, known as the How.
How" brand, the following is sug-
gested: a scientist claims to have re-
ceived communication from the
moon. "How? How? HowW 1t is said
that the Morgan Steel Trust will be-
come a winner. How? How? HowT
Rumor has it that the japanese are
preparing for war. How? How?
How" 1t is whispered that Car An
derson intends to make no more pro-
misses. How? How? How" The
Board Of City Commissioners says it
means to be good. "How? How?
How?" The Board also says the $25
clock 1t purchased recently will bring
much good to the taxpayers How?
How? How?" Ii also says 1t will act
in an independent manner, How?
How? HowY Again How? How?
How?" Now all together, "How?
How? HowI" Three How? How?
HowsY and n Tiger. Sizz! Boom!
Gen. Dick, at meeting held at Re.
publican headquarters, said: "Agulnal.
do Is now sleeping in the camps of
the Administration" Had the Gencr-
III not made this announcement, facts
that have Just developed would clearly
reveal Aguinaldo's situation at pre-
sent. A news item states
"Aguinaldo Is now working OH
IL lengthy appeal TO the Fllipinos to
drop their arms and swear allegiance
TO the United States" The lash of
the Administration whip must have
fallen with great force and prompt
ness upon the back of the Tagal chief
tain. Had it fallen upon the back of
Hadj Mohnmmcd Womolol Kram,
Sultan of Sulu, with equal promptncss,
some money might have been saved.
at Is about time for the strawberry
crop to he ruined and for small fruits
to he practically all destroyed" re-
marked the Philosophical Person.
"Don't try to he funny" said the
Observing Citizen. "1his sort of wealth
er Is not to be trined with. IT is com,
ing to be altogether too serious n mat
ter. ] well remember when we had
our garden all planted in February
| Nowadays we have 10 watch our
chance to get the seeds in the ground
In tho brief uncertain interval between
winter and scorching hot weather, then
STAY up nights to get things harvested
before winter sets in again without
warning, along in September or Octo-
her"
Not long before death came to
her relief, an aged woman of New
York had her win prepared so that
her son should receive Sl50,OOO in ease
his wife died or he became divorced
from her. The son waited n year, but
the grim reaper did not invade his
home. Then he deserted his wife, hop
ing she would apply for divorce
But this hope was not fulfilled. Now
he has become the aggrcssor, and has
applied for Il divorce from his wife
claiming that she has transferred hcl
affections to another man.
+ T. I.
"Morc mortar" rings ghostly in my
ears,
And drives me nigh to madness.
More mortar"-l hate both wretchct
words,
Yet in the depths of sadness
Must | go to laying brick again.
oh that | might forever idly loitcr
Far from the worry, work aud din
or places whore men toll and yell
"Morc mortarw John G.
, Grandma Nation was not endorsed
10y the Citizens of Kansas City, nj th,
election Tuesday. The dlsappolnt
ment caused by this lack of rccognl
tion of Grandma's services TO the Pro
| hibition movement is tempered, how
ever, by the fact that the Proxy sys