davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Swallowed Two Pound, ., Stone.

Stones DO not form part of the rec
ognizcd diet OF the cormorant, but one
OF these birds In the National Zoolos-
ical park In Washington had craving
which could be satisfied only by eat.
Ing two pounds of stones. The keep
cr's attention was attracted to the bird
because after having once sat down
IT couldn't get up. He was picked up.
and then the stones were heard rattling
inside of him. An official connected
with tho park decided that something
must be done, and he promptly cut the
cormorant open aud relieved him of his
burden. One Of the stones. OF irregular
shape. was 3Ma inches long. The In
clsion was scwcd up. and for five days
the bird got along nll right, the wound
healing finely, but at the end of that
time the cormorant grow rcstivc and
pulled out the stitches With his hooked
bill. AS consequence of opening up
the wound lie died.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
The Squirrel Hunter. wennon.

The cream OF squirrel hunting is en-
5oyed by the man who uses light rife
of small caliber and medium power.
The 400 long" as now turned out by
our leading makers Ia an excellent
weapon-in fact, the best in the world
for the purpose. Though not Of suffi-
cient range to be dangerous to people
or stock at q distance, 1t throws lead
with surprising accuracy to the tops Of
the tallcst trees. Good rife shots al
ways aim for the squirrels head both
to add to the difficulty Of the sport and
to avoid spelling meat. And be 1t
known thht a squirrels head Mt range
of 40 or so yards Is no easy mark. IL
a reader doubts this. let him go to the
woods for day. keep all empty shells,
and at the end of the day let him try
to make the dead squirrels and the
empty shells tally.-E. w. Sandys In
Outing.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Tests Of Culture.

The chemist Llcb!g proposed to meas
urc the standard of civilization by ,hc
consumption Of soap. n creation which
would put the inhabitants Of north
Holland at the head of all civilized ma
tions. AS more reliable test Edmund
About suggested the sale of steel pens.
the socialist Bcbel the frequency Of re-
form meetings. DR.. Bernard the use Of
undergnrments. luxury unknown to
the semlciviliZcd tribes Of Asia and
South Amrrica; Professor Ebcrs the
sale of postage stamps. The mileage
of railroads per hundred square miles
Of territory might do IN comparing
countries Of equal density Of populn-
tion.-EXchangc.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
"Well. wasn't it his dcal?"
Why We Buthe.

Professor Vivian Lcwes. Mt the Lon
don institution, recently furnished the
following answer to the question,
"Why do we battle" Twcnty-cight
miles Of sweat glands In our skin arc
discharging &c ounces Of water per day
ana leaving upon the outer surface OF
the skin full ounce of solid matter.
These are aided by the oil glands of the
hair, which facilitate the adherence of
external dirt. Hence tho refreshing
character OF the morning bath and the
necessity for grease absorbing alkalies
In soup.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
st. John Items.
by MAG.

Mrs. Lockwood and Wllds were
calling on ST. john friends on last
Friday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas Denton
visited their daughter in Council
Bluffs on Sunday last.
Robert Kirkland made busi-
ness trip to Omaha last Monday.
VIM. Jones Lad the misfortune
to loose part of one of his fin
CURES while working with q thresh-
ing machine last week.
James Hatcher, once a resident
of this place, but now living in
Kansas, is here visiting his sister,
Mrs. j. M. Smith.
Mr. and Mrs Means, accompa-
MED by a son and daughter-in-law
are visiting with j A Deal and
family. Mrs Means is a sister of
Mrs Deal; they reside in Wayne
county, Iowa..
Thomas Denton and Geo. Cox
had quite an exciting time for q
time last Tuesday night. They
found q horse and buggy in some
high weeds near their barn, and
soon discovered the supposed own
or asleep in the barn loft. On
rousing him up he pretended to
be drunk and run out of the doo-
and fell ten or twelve feet, and
claimed to be pretty badly hurt.
Mr.. Denton and Cox took the man
and rig over to the Valley and tur-
ned them over to the City Marshal.
A Il CcIntosh has rs peach trees
in bearing this year-we have
sampled them and found them to
be very fine favored, better than
those shipped in from other parts;
he is selling them at two dollars
per bushel, which will pay we'll
for the use of the ground for the
three years waiting for a crop.
Mrs Denton and Mrs Julia Car
ter and son, of Leon, Kansas, are
visiting relatives in st. John and
vicinity.
Harry Boise and Earl Edge
come were calling in st. John on
last Wednesday. We caught the
boys rsiding our plum orchard,
but they fixed it up so we will not
mention it.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
r.,crrnpl,,nr with cannon..

When the first vessel completed the
passage of the then new Erie canal in
1928. there being no such thing as n
telegraph In those days. the news was
communicated to New York and to
Buffalo by cannons placed within hear
Ing OF each other ull the way along
from Albany to each OF the other cities.
The signal was passed along in this
way from Albany to New York city
and back ngnin to Albany in So min
utes. The experiment was costly
one. but was q success in every particu-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Aarly Birds.

The green finch Is the earliest riser.
1t pipes rs early as half past In the
morning. The blackcap begins at half
past 2. 1t Is nearly o'clock before
the blackbird appears. 1t is heard half
m hour before the thrush. and the
chirp Of the robin begins about the
same length OF time before that of the
wren. The house sparrow and the TOM
tit take tho last stage OF tho list.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
THE AlpaAeET's MEETING.

The alphabet met and said that s.they
Were not arranged in proper way"
A had stood ut the head too long;
1t WAS not right; it was utterly wrong,
'For you all know and can plainly SEQ
That place belongs 10 me-" said G.
'You take the head. indccd!" said j;
''That place is meant for my dear H.''
''Tut. tut, tut. Well, we'll, we'll!
Til stand thete myself thca," said l..
Excuse us. please. we think that va
Have word to say" said h. c. ID,
'surpose you have" said L as he
Softly whispered a word to T..
'.Wholl prevent, lid like TO know,
Standins head NJ, N or OF"
''Wc've listened in silence TO all of you
And now will head, you." said and Q.
''our Impression is. yeu had better try."
Then aagrily spoke both II and l.
"iIow rude and coarse." said Il. s. T.
''Thc 'sils' of somc!" said U and v.
''Would drive one mad said ", X, Y. 2.
But. after all. the letters still stand
A nt the head. at the foot &.
brooklyn Eagle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Noncooking Restaurants.

Odd us 1t may appear to dwellers In
small cities, some of the down town
restaurants Of New York are In build
ings in which no cooking is allowed
Some of the busiest of the midday res
taurants purchase all their meats and
stews already cooked and merely heat
them through agnin before serving
them to patrons. This branch Of the
restaurant business has reached such
proportions that the mere operation Of
cooking for such places has become IN
established business, and owners Of
ovens thrive ut it.-New York Sun.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
holland Customs.

Holland has some peculiar customs.
In many towns bulletins are affixed to
the doors of houses In which persons
are sick In order that their friends may
be apprsed Of the state OF their health
without knocking or ringing. and in
Haarlem the birth Of child Is an
nounccd by means OF small placard
adorned with red silk and lace.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
A Rea.opabIe Conductor.

PIkey-And just because you had lost
your nickel the conductor made you
get of the car md walk all tho way
home?
Riikey-Oh. no. He only put mo OF.
could have sat by tho roadside all
night II had wanted to.-Baltlmore
World,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
so,ten,ns the Parting,

Twelve was on the point of striking.
ITO think" cried the fair girl In an-
gulsh, I'VE viii never SEQ eaeh other
again till tomorrow night"
"Bear up, sweet 0ne!" was his on
c0uragIng remark. ",rlme VIII pass,
Besides, III write to you when ! got
homo and In thp morning,"-Phlladcl-
phia Times,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
1t Was His Deal.

A mining engineer who has returned
from Alaska brings, among other inter
esting things, evidence that the higher
the latitude the greater the latitude.
Watching n poker game in which the
stakes were heavy he saw player give
himself four aces from the bottom Of
the pack.
Burning with Indignation Mt such
shameless cheating, he turned to q by
stander and whispered, "Did you see
that?"
"See whnt?"
"Why. that fellow dealt himself four
aces!'
"Well. wasn't It his dcalY'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12

Tho Chinese began TO wrlte books be-
fore they migrated from tho region
south of the Caspian sen. Two Of their
greatest literary productions are die.
tlopary In 6,0aO volumes mud an en-.
cyclopedla In 2a,0a7 volumes,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Advantages Of Por. cities,

Tho revenue New York derives from
the rental OF piers to the Cunard. tho
White Star, tho American, the Atlantic
Transport. the Fren.h. the Leyland.
the National and other lines IL nearly
e1,OOOOOO annually. The White Star
limo pays tho largest rental. sal7 900;
the cunard line Ia next with sl200OO
and the American lIne third with SsS,.
t0O,--Alnalee'S.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Homemade stoves.

In many parts Of Spain the stove In
general use is made from an empty
petroleum oil can by cutting hole
near the bottom ON one of the sides to
make IL draft, the can being lined with
gypsum to the pleasure Of the con-
structor. giving the fire space accord
ingly. The stove thus made. primitive
as 1t Is In Its appearance. is effective In
purpose and costs the equivalent of but
a few cents Of our money.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
Twlco n. Blnck.

Sam Cole-Mss Yallcrby done treat
me scan'lous. She done tole me yes
tidy dat was black as do ace of
spades.
jim Crow. OATS on'y half rs bad as
what she seq bout me. She tole me
was black as dc deuce Catholic
Standard and Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12

Petcrboro, In New Hampshire, es-
tabllshcd the first free public library In
the United States In 1893, ana as early
rs lS40 II general law authorizing taxa.
ton for library purposes was passed.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12
ner sentiments.

They were looking over the paper to.
gether. "Oh. my. how funnyv said
she.
What is ftp he asked.
"Why. here's an advertisement that
says, No reasonable offer refused"
What is there odd about thatY
Nothing, nothing" she replied, try
ing to blush; "only those nre my senti-
ments."
Another wedding shortly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12

Tho penal code Of the Chinese en-
plrc Ia at least 1000 years old, and un-
dor !ts provisions about 10000 persons
arc annually executed,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12

One Of tho most destructive earth
qunkes In tho worlds history was that
which occurred In Tokyo In the year
!Toa, when 100000 people were killed.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12

The first balloon ascent took place b
the yGar lISa.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1901-09-12

land; credentials, Mrs. NJ. E. West,
Little Sioux; Mrs. Steele, Defiance;
courtesies. Mrs. j. p Greenshields,
New-York tribune., 1901-02-01
mn room l,t,-l ryrur

The Merchants Association hits upon great
frGth when il says i'm opposition 10 the Tax
Listing hin. ~Thc Sfa3C does not need more
revenue; il needs more economy" The same
statement MAY with canal Justice he made
concerning tho municipalities whore strenuous
efforts are being made 10 devise now schemes
not so mach for The more equitable adjust
nenT of the burden - taxation a. - swell the
tax levy and give che authorities more money
20 spend or waste
There are strong arguments ~ he made in
f0vor ~ ro2diustmout of rho tax laws. No
body questions the justice Of subiocting trust
companies 20 taxation more nearly equal 10
that imposed on other moneyed corporations
whose privileges the trust companies substan-
tiallv share. There are practical administra
rive advantages % h. derived from the entire
abandonment NJ general property taxation for
State purposes, which II is hoped may result
from the pending taN bills proposed by Gov
ernor Odell on the other hand. though as
Ne have Frequently pointed out a fixed income
thus Obtained would be = constant temptation
70 eXtravacance. N was expected that the
existing corporation taxes would meet the
needs ~ the State but instead the expenses
have increased nearly in proportion 70 the in
crease Of indirect revenue. leaving the general
taN levy for State purposes AZ about rhe same
rate as before II. however, as many believe
, separation cf State and local taxation would
open the door 10 reformed local tax laws the
danger Of new waste might he wisely risked
No such possible advantages warrant A re-
sort 10 the listing system for local assessment
n is NOT for an instant 10 ne supposed that the
assessment 81 additional personal propertv
would permanently relieve the burdens Of
property previously taxed. Ii might do so for
yoar The temptation to spend money up 10
the limit of the tax rate of previous years
would soon be irresistible. and the land owner
would be bearing his old load and new load
on his personal property. II may perhaps be
eaid that so long as the taxation Of person
atty rs ordered by law, justice requires the
devising of some system % ger track OF escap-
ane personalty. But when it can be clearly
foreseen that such a system would encourage
neriurv. would discourage business hy expos
ing the properly private affairs Of individuals
and would drive capital from the State. the
utility OF that sort OF justice is open 10 doubt
This hill is one ~ the products Of the in
sane norion that IL is possible for the State "a
hold up an movable property snd make IL paw
taxes without lesseBng its activities or driv-
New-York tribune., 1901-02-01
THE ARISES or FEE OFFICES.


Since Governor OdeT in his message to the
| Legislature advocated the abolition of fees in
number Of important offices in New-York County
and Kings public sentiment on every side. in
the channels through which il usually finds eX
preston. seems 10 sustain the Governors argu
| mentS The abuses which constantly attend the
! exaction of exorhtant fees have come down
from old days. and every one of them should no
swept ont Of existence by the action of the pres
! cnt Legislature From the era preceding the
| Civil War the tempting profits that could he
made. without violating the law. out of the fees
which were paid 10 the Sheriff and the Register
of this county and several other counties in the
| State led to SickeninG bargains and deals in
| the award of the nominations. The PretOran
Guard Of the politicians frequently sold out the
candidates. 10 tho highest bidders. II is well
known that certain Sheriffs and Registers in
this county in the former period took in more
than $l50O00 Of clear gain in n single year with
| out receiving brihcs and without committing
offence which could render them liable to in
dictment. II was brief scanty list Of
local bosses who were enriched hy the fee
system that they lived in luxury 10 the close Of
their days and left considerable estates 70 their
descendants.
The Register of Kings has announced that ne
viii use some $4,000 or $4,000 of his receipts
in putting up an equestrian statue of Washing
ton in Brooklyn. His decision is commendahe,
and no one douPts that our friends across the
river will rejoice over any creditahlc addition 10
their works of ART in public places. They are
not wildly enthusiastic over some Of the statues
which are now conspicuous in much frequented
spots. There is the figure of Henry Ward
Beechcr IN front of the City Hail. for in
stance. Some OF our Brooklyn friends have
found so little qualification i'm gazing upon that
eiiigy that they have gone over TO Ncw-Jcrsey
10 live. after studying the wonderful collection
of horrors in the parks of Manhattan The
northern part Of Ncw-IerSey is not yet dStiG
urcd with n portentouS array of hronzeS that
would throw PhidaS and PraxitclcS into fits
could they revisit the pale Glimpscs of tho mod
ern moon.
The Register of Kings intends 10 make
worthy use of the inordinate revenues Of his
tenancy. But what excuse can there be for
keeping up 4 system by which oficehoders take
in much money from the community that
they feel themselves bound in honor To set up
equestrian statues ont of the profits: Governor
Odel's recommendations as 10 these fee offices
We're sound and wise Liberal salaries ought 10
be paid TO the occupants of responsible posts in
city or county administration. But. as the GOV
ernor says in substance. this bloated system Of
enormous revenues from excessive fees is
vicious and should he swept away at this
sion Of the Senate and Assembly.
New-York tribune., 1901-02-01

from Bombay to say that except in certain i'cali-
ties in the Deccan and Gujarat. where the Gov
erument still has relief works, the necessity or
helping the people has for the time being ceased
Speaking generally the crops over the famine area
have been of sufficient value 10 give food TO the
agricultural population. and labor, and thus food'
to the aboring and artisan classes The only cidss
that remains on the hands of missionaries and
others are the children, and there are az least
5000 of such. gathered in over one hundred homes
The Americo-India Famine Relief Committee.
which has had the dispensing Of the funds sent 70
India by the Committee Of Ore Hundred in New
York, has given great impetus to these schemes oy
apportioning part Of the balance OF famine funds
AZ its disposal 10 the industrial education Of these
famine children and small proportion OF the
25.O0 famine children who have come from the
lowest and most helpless classes, are now daily
busy with the saw. the hammer the handloom and
other tools Of industry"
Couldn't Digest It-HungTy Hgsins-Say, honest:
I'm dead hungry, lady. Amt ye got somethin
fur me-
Mrs. Housekoap-Ch. vou Just came In time
Here's an OLD coat Of nv husbands that was
going
Hungry Higgins-Excuse me. lady. hut amt no
Philadelphia Press.
New-York tribune., 1901-02-01
THE TAIN or TIE DAY.

The Rochester Post-Express' says that when
the Prince ~ Wales was about 10 visit Niagara
Falls Rlondin had a rival. one Sgnor FarnL who
was character He issued advertisement urg-
ing that the Prince make his initial entrance to the
great and glorious United States in a striking
manner Accordingly he proposed that he should
wheel the Prince in a wheelba rrow over a tight
rope across the gorge TO the United States-an en-
trance that would he unparalleled, Then the
notice odds Should any accident happen 20 His
Highness whereby he should happen to be pre-
ciptated 20 tho gulf below (of which assure you
there Is little danger). the money taken from the
spectators shall he refunded"
time? At the matinee, 7 suppose. Come confess
ohice Boy tin fear and tremblingl-Yes. sir T
EmPloyer-rm glad to hear it, Perhaps you've
old one YOU whistlo-tPhiladelphia Press.
The death of the Bishop Of London has revived a
suggestion for the division Of the overpopuated
diocese and the reconstruction Of the diocese OF
Westminster, which after having been created by
Henry VIII allowed to lapse. The Queen re-
Gently revived the dignity Of the city OF West
minister 80 IL would seem a ft occasion for re-
establishing the Bishops see. There are Cathe-
dral and dean and chapter ready The difficulty is
10 give to the new diocese district containing =
population II mixed character. and 10 avoid
draining all the wealthy population from the dio-
cese Of London.
Carolina quail
It has made new creature Of me-" enthus-
astlcaily replied the rice bird which had called
ltseH boboliuk when II left New England Iast
tall.-tWhat To Eat.
man hvinG in a tenement in Battersea London
told the children Of the neighhorhood that the
penny-in-t the-slot gas meter was new and re-
splendent br Int red money box specially designed
to accom- ate the savings of economical young
sters- on this assumption they cheerfully dropped
bair " int
Genious deceiver burned the gas which cost him
nothing. When the collector came and. cleared
away all the pennies the chagrin of the children
was intense
And what is your age. madam was the at
torneys question. My own" she answered
promptly. Il understand that madam: I mean
how old are YOU Il am not old. sir with in
dignation. Il beg your pardon. madam | mean
how many years have YOU passed. None: tbe
passed yOu? "All; ! never heard of them stop
ping Madam. you must answer my question: |
want know your age Il don't know thaf the
acquaintance is desired by the other side" II
don't why you insist upon refusing to answer
my question: said the attorney. coaxinely II
asked. But nobody would ask YOU for every-
body knows you old enough 10 know better than
to be asking a woman her age" And the attorney
passed on To the next question.-(Nashville Amer
lean.
Justin f. Abbott, who has had charge of the
fund for the relief Of the famine sufferers writes
New-York tribune., 1901-02-01
POPE LEo.s PRAYER TO CHRIST.

Translated for The Independent by Dr. William
Hayes Ward.
Now ends this age kind nurse Of noble arts:
Its useful gifts and natures powers unveiled
Let those who will acclaim with grateiul hedItS-
The failures of this falling, century 49,,
What wrongs my backward gaze recalls 10 me.
Of slaughters. broken sceptres vice widespread,
Shall / complain? or Of the Vatican
Beset with thousand wnes of battle dread'
Queen city. that hast never owned defeat.
Why fades thy fame? Long centuries honored
Ancestral tribes bent at thy pontins' seat
Voc when mans law the law Of God dehes
What faith stay, once from Gods altar rent.
Then justice faints and falls. and honot dies
Hear ye the impious rant the rabble speak
Vain of their crazy lore Their only COD
In nature blind and dumb and dead they seek
They scorn to see. wrought in the human frame,
Image Of God; but. chasing empty dreams,
They make the seed of man and beasts the SANE.
Alas, how waIlows in a gulf of shame
Mans shameful pride, Mortals attend and bond,
In service bend before Gods holy name
He is the Life the Truth the only Way
To Heaven above. He only can restore
The vanished years 70 mortals gone astray.
'Tis He that lately led the pious throngs
or pilgrims seeking Peters holy dust
No empty omen for our prayers and songs
Jesus thou ruler of all times that be.
RlesS thou the century's successive years
Bid thou the recreant nations turn 70 thee.
Nourish I pray the seeds Of kindly peace.
To realms Of darkness drive the crimes OF men,
That passions. tumults, cruel wars may cease.
Let kings with eager hearts thy laws obey;
one sheepfOld and one shepherd let there be,
And let one faith rule all the earth for aye
Thou eivest me Of life: give me its crown
Let not thy Leo's prayer be prayed IN vain