The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-03-30
QUEER USES OF COMMON THINGS.
Beginning When Man and His wife
First Got on ut This Earth station.


First Got on ut This Earth station.
Harvey Sutherland in Ainslee's.
when Man and his wife first got Off
at this Earth station without a return
ticket. funds, or baggage they didn't
even have hand satcheD, they found
two of their four limbs disengaged from
the task of walking, and at the ends of
each of these two limbs Ave prongs, all
movable, one of them capable OF being
opposed to each Of the other four. They
had also something inside them, restless
and inqulsitive, just like their cousins
that hung by the tail In the trees and
jabbered at them. Not living In trees and
being simply obliged by that internal
restlessness and inqusitlveness to do
something with the two spare limb-ends,
they began to fuss with objects about
them. They were not so strong as some
animals, not so terribly armed as some,
not so safely armored or disguised as
some, not so sharp of vision, acute of
hearing or so keen OF scent as others
They were in a world already well-peo-
pied by creatures that distinctly resent
ed their coming as an Intrusion entirely
uncaIled for on such short acquaintance;
in a world where all the labels of Good
and Bad had come off-if, indeed, they
had ever been stuck on; In a world whose
motto is, and ever has been, Root. Hog,
or Die with the accent on the DIE and
in a world which had as little sympathy
then as now for young man trying to
make his way in life. II that internal
restlessness and those two pronged limbs
could not be turned to account. 1t was
obviously all up with the newcomers.
From that date the Queer Uses of
Common Things began. can imagine the
shocked surprise of the Birds very good
family, the Birds are: among the early
settlers, old as the hills older than some
hills, Instantly Connected with the Rep
tiles, / believe)--I say ! can imagine the
shocked surprise of abe Birds when, af-
ter having flown up to safe place In a
tree Man threw stones and knocked them
off the perch.
'Why-why, what kind OF doings is
this? they demanded to know. It's no
fair pegging stones. Stones belong on the
ground. 1t Is a very queer way to act,
and we shall certainly complain to the
janitor about IT,
THE other animals thought so, too
when Man learned how to put some sort
of an edge on the stone and to haft Il IN
a split stick, so as to reach 1t and kill
them in their burrows, which is plainly
against the rules OF the game. This I'M
natural lengthening OF the arm entailed
other queer uses Of common things. The
stone kept Shipping out OF the split stick,
and Man took grasses to tie IL fast, and
what grew out OF that first knot would
take book TO write. But the strings
slipped off the stone. and Man made use
of the first glue, his own blood, which In
very good glue. indeed, II you use a
plenty and have nothing better. Later ne
used the blood OF the pitch-pine, and still
later he boiled hoofs and horns of ami
mails, and used their sinews for strings
to last the spearhead fast.
After having made the cut In himself
to get the natural glue, the wound began
to smart for at that time our ancestor
had not discovered the great truth that
really he had no pain, but suffered only
from the belief that he had one. The
poor. ignorant creature tried everything
he could lay his hands on to see II he
could not make the soreness 20 away.
No doubt he told II TO get out, but the
power of mind over matter was not great
in those deys. ] suppose, too, that some
body kissed the wound and made Il well,
or blew upon II with the same happy
result. just as children's bumps stop
hurting now when mamma kisses or
blows on them. He chewed up leaves to
make poultices. No doubt. some OF these
herbs killed him in a hurry-some OF
drunk and he forthwith gave orders TO
his wife that on no account was she to
enjoy herself by tasting them. II is this
sentiment still persisting in us that
shocks our moral sense when we see la
dies using liquor or tobacco TO excess
It's too good for them. Woman was put
into this world 20 have trouble. not q
good time. and II IL Mans sacred duty
ana privilege TO see that she keeps 10
her proper sphere
"some Of the herbs he chewed tasted
good. and some have ever since been on
tho bill OF fare. Some OF them did the
wound good. and have ever since been
on the list OF the pharmncopeia. Any
how. n ~ was there that medicine be-
gan and Of the queer uses Of common
thinE IN that branch Of human activity
there n no end. Man being essentially
queer Of course, he could not get Il into