davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
How He saved His Dinner.

In the little town of Arundel there is a
taXidermist who is gifted with Won
derful presence of mind. Here is an
instance:
Some time ago gentleman called at
his shop with a cock pheasant which
he desired to have skinned, stating at
the same time that he did not require
the body. This quite suited the taxi
dermist, who thought the pheasant
would do for his dinner on the morrow.
However, later in the day the gentle
man called again and said that he
would take the body away. The tax
idefmist replied that 1t was unusual
for customers to take the bodies away,
but that he had no objection, and he
fetched the bird, which his wife had
put on plate and covered with -four.
"AhH' exclaimed the gentleman. 1T
looks very nice. But what is this white
powder with which it is covered?'
"Oh, that,' replied the taXidermist
quietly, "is arsenic. l always cover
the bodies with that until l can dis
pose of Them
"Ar-arsenic.' stammered the gentle
man. "Why, | thought that the bird
would be good to eat. Thank you.
won't trouble to take it away with me.
Good day"
The taXidermist had saved his din
ner.-London Answers.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
when Herrings Were Plenty.

In former days behring's were so
abundant in Newfoundland waters that
the most wanton slaughter of them
was permitted without any restriction
whatever. Seines were allowed to re-
tain 1000 or 1000 barrels of the fish
until they persisted, and then the net
was freed and the whole contents fell
to the bottom to pollute the ocean for
miles around. When poaching smack
was captured, the behring's it had on
board were all thrown into the sea, and
frequently boats when chased resorted
to the same means to get rid of incrim-
mating evidence. The fish then fetched
only so cents barrel of 800 behring's
or ten for cent.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
SOME WISE DON'TS.

Don't confound hauteur with dignity
or repose with stupidity
Don't "howl" roar" or explode"
To laugh heartily is better.
Don't pose. Affectation is a bar to
respect, let alone confidence.
Don't groan over the wickedness of
the world, but mend your own.
Don't boast. The illiterate and the
self conscious are thus made manifest.
Don't use superlatives. Few things
require them, and they weaken deserip-
ton.
Don't preach unless you have prac-
ticed Deeds are tremendously con-
vincing,
Don't think foreigner can compre-
bend you any better if you shout into
his ear.
Don't forget that politeness is the
foster sister of diplomacy and an es-
sential tact.
Don't appraise book at another
valuation. Critics are not censors alb
solute-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19

A certain Arizona justice of the peace,
whose knowledge of the law was never
gained from books or actual practice
before the bar, was hearing an assault
and battery case. The lawyer for the
defense was shouting his arguments
when the court said:
THAT will do. Sit down."
He then adjusted his spectacles and
sagely observed.
Prisoner, sthand up! Accordin tab
tn law an tn evydince-an there is no
evydince-Oi found yez guilty, sor, an
foine yez $50. If yez air guilty. faith,
it's a very light sintince, an if yez are
not guilty it'll be mighty good lesson
for yez!"-Detroit Free Press.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
UNlNHABiTED ISLANDS.
There Are Thousands of Them In the
Indian Ocean,

There Are Thousands of Them In the
Indian Ocean.
If you should want an island-that is,
an uninhabited island-for the purpose
of occupying it alone, Robinson Crusoe
like, or to use it for romantic fiction or
for any other purpose, to the exclusion
of all others in the world, you need have
no trouble in finding one If you see fit
to make a journey to the Indian ocean.
In the waters between Madagascar and
India you can find more than $4,000 Of
them, where there is not human be-
ing and where you can, if you will, be
monarch of all YOU survey.
An English traveller has recently been
among the small islands that dot the
western end of the Indian ocean to
make an inventory of them and re-
ports that he counted 16100 and found
only about 600 of them inhabited
Now, there is a good chance for any
one who may want an island.
These particular islands are not large,
are sufficient for the purpose of a Rob-
lnSon CfuSoe or any other novel hero
or for even small colony of ship
wrecked mariners or other persons who
might be cast on one of them or seek
for the purpose of making a home pref
ty much out of the busy world
Some of them are only an acre or
two, we'll elevated above the tide, while
others are a quarter of a mile in diam
eter and running from that up to mile
or two in length and quarter or less
of the length in breadth. Many of
them are granite structures that rise
steeply from 20 to 100 feet, we'll cover
ed with rich soil, through which small
fresh water streams hurry to the sea,
which they reach after flowing over
beaches of glistening calcareous. sand
that are begirt by coral reefs, which
form walls about the islands.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
Funerals In Peru.

According to social usage, women in
Peru cannot attend funerals, and they do
not appear at weddings unless they are
very intimate friends. When a funeral
procession passes through the streets, the
coffin is carried upon the shoulders of the
pallbearers, who are followed by an
empty hearse drawn by two, four or six
horses, according to the means of the
mourners and their desire for display. All
the male members of the family and
friends OF the deceased follow on foot,
with line of empty carriages behind
them. AS long as they are in the presence
Of the dead it is considered a proper and
necessary evidence of respect to walk.
After the body has been committed to the
grave those who attend the funeral are
brought home in carriages.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
BOOK MAxIMs.

1t is better to give book than to
lend it.
Do not bite paper knife until it has
the edge of saw.
Do not cut books except with
proper ivory knife.
1t is ruination to a good book to cut
it right through into the corners.
Books are neither card racks, crumb
baskets nor receptacles for dead leaves.
Never write upon title page or half
title. The blank fly leaf is the right
place.
Do not turn the leaves of books down.
Particularly do not turn the leaves of
books printed on plate paper.
If you are in the habit of lending
books, do not mark them. These two
acts together constitute an act of indis-
erection.
Books were not meant as cushions,
nor were they meant to be toasted be-
fore a fire.-Arthur L. Humphreys in
Private Library
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
PERFuMED CIGARS.
The Ones General Rosecrans Ono,
offered to u Friend.


offered to "a Friend.
One of the stories told by old em-
ployees in the treasury department at
Washington is of the time when Gem
eral Rosecrans was register The gen
eral never smoked and knew nothing
about cigars. He determined however.
to have a box of good cigars handy for
the benefit Of friends who might drop
into the registers office The general
accordingly purchased a box of expen-
sive cigars, put them in drawer and
forgot all about them for some time
Then, one day. when friend was call
ing, the general remembered the cigars
and brought them out
Il know nothing about cigars" said
Rosecrans, but | am told that these
are very fine"
His friend lighted a cigar, and a look
of pain and horror instantly overspread
his face He tried to conceal his feel
ings and puffed manfully at the cigar
for several seconds. Then Rosecrans,
noticing that he was growing pale, ask
ed what was the trouble.
General, said the visitor, Il don't
want to be ungrateful, but I'm afraid
it's this cigar
"Impossiblew exclaimed Rosecrans.
"Why, when bought them / was told
that they were the finest cigars on the
market
"Well general, you were deceived.
The cigar tastes and smells exactly as
if it We're made of camphor"
"Canphor" stammered Rosecrans,
looking chapfallen. why, 1 never
thought, but perhaps camphor does in
iure a cigar" And, reaching into the
drawer he brought to view several gar
ments filled with camphor balls. do
you suppose that can be the trouble?"
he inquired.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
Apples the Diet For the sedentary.

Apples are very wholesome and di-
gestble They contain considerable
potassium and sodium salts, magnesi-
UNI, a little iron and about 80 per cent
of wafer Apples, being rich in pectin,
form readily into jelly. They also CON
tain free organic acids as we'll as salts,
such a malates, citrates and tartrates.
They are quite laxative, more so If TAX
en- late at night or early in the morn
ing with glass of water. Their nutri-
tive value is not much, as they are
largely composed of water. For in
valids apples are best when baked and
eaten either plain or served with cream.
ledger Monthly.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
BETRAYAL.

Out Of the chilling rain and fog
That hid the mountain from our sight
A dusky cloud came floating down
At early dawn Of light
The cloud dropped softly to the lake
Amid sound Of whrring wings
And spread into a graceful line
host OF living things.
We hailed this burst of Joyous life;
The sunless day seemed dark no more,
When suddenly shot rang cut
And echoed round the shore.
Tie waterfowl were natures guests,
But they were doomed, and all that day
The shots pealed forth and on the waves
The dead and dying lay.
At last into the brooding mist
There vanished, softly as it came,
A broken flock, with plumage torn,
After that day Of shame
fary Thacher Higginson in Youths Compan,
IN.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
The Prudent Scotsman.

A cautious Scotsman, 50 years old,
had saved enough to purchase a piece
of freehold land upon which he had
had his eye for some time. He repair
ed to the freebooter and opened nego-
tiations for the purchase. The free
holder however, informed him that for
some reason or other he could not part
with the freehold, but said he would
give him a lease for 800 years. This,
he was informed, was practically the
same thing INA, na," said the aged
one, shaking his gray head; time soon
rims '"-London Outlook.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19

Il see "A Wisconsin man claims to
have solved the perpetual motion prob
lem"
THAT'S nothing. have a model of
Il perpetual motion machine at my
house ROW"
Does il work SUCCESSFULLY"
From the standpoint of perpetual
motion, you bet it does"
Have you given it a name"
''Sure"
"What do you call it,"
Jimmie. and it was 5 years old its
last birthday" Chicago Post.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
A Drop of Water.

A gallon Of distilled water weighs
$3.50 pounds, and there being four
quarts to the gallon and two pints to
the quart, and 16 fluid ounces to the
pint, and two tablespoonfuls to the fluid
ounce. and four teaspoonfuls to the ia
blespoon, and As drops to the teaspoon,
a drop of water weighs 0.O001sE)o7
pound, slightly more.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
Apathettc Bereavement.

Miss Singer saw in the paper that
there is to be an entertainment for a
musical orphanage| Pray, what may
a mt steal orphanage be?
Mr.. Kenitall-I can't say positively,
you know. but imagine it must be a
child deprived of it's native air.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19

If a neither is at all clever, she can
train her baby by the time 1t is weeks
old to cry to go to its father as soon as
he comes in the house. tchison Globe.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19

Some people," said Uncle Eben,
doesn't seem to take no special inter
cst in teIlln de troof 'ceppin when IT'S
su.npin disagreeabie" - Washington
Star
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19

'Thirteen dollars and a half seems a
high price for such comparatively
short trip" said the man with the
travelling bag in his hand.
1--WE thought people would rather
pay that than S13" replied the agent
OF the steamer line with an explana-
tory and apologize cough.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1901-07-19
capia Stock the Four Great Banks World Dec 81 1899
E B. RaYu0ND, General agent for New Jersey.

No 1877 Market Street. Newark New Jersey.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
CURRENT TOPICS

1t has developed that surgeons In the
German army have been bribed TO ex-
empt the sons of the wealthy from service.
The C. & o. Railway Company Is to ex-
pend the handsome sum of 5000, 600 at
once, in erecting a great round-house,
and establishing new yards for the com
pany in Richmond.
Mrs. Carrie Nation was arrested In
Kansas City, Mo-, on the charge OF OBJ
structing the street and taken TO the po-
lice station in patrol wagon. She was
released on a cash bond OF SO. She
started on a tour ofinvestigation among
the downtown saloons. crowd Of
1000 men and boys followed her TO
Twelfth and Walnut streets, where there
are saloons on three corners. She was
arrested because the crowd following her
blockaded the street. She severely lee
tured the saloon men whom she visited.
She was tried in the Police court, fined
$500, and given several hours in which
to leave the city, which she did to escape
being jailed The fine was suspended
but will be held over Mrs. Nation is case
she should return, and until she is re-
leased from the courts order she is prac-
tically barred from visiting Kansas City.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
WESTM0RELaUD.
Farming Notes wheat Promising-Pi Fisher
men Discouraged Amateurs 70 Act, BIC.

Correspondence OF The FREE Lance }
Montross, Va, April l3, 1901.
Most of the farmers have their lands
well prepared to receive the seed, and
some are planting corn. An unusually
large quantity Of fertilizer for spring use
has been purchased by our farmers. The
exceedingly short crop of grain grown in
the county last season, and the present
scarcity of provender, seem to actuate
the farmers all through the county toput
forth renewed efforts 10 raise larger
supply. much larger corn and grass
crop will be pitched this season than
usual The scarcity of corn is demon
strated by the fact that Mr.. \. NJ. Chand-
Ter purchased 400 bushels, and il haul
ing it "A distance of - miles to his grist
mill, located near Montross, to supply his
customers This grain is selling at Zoe.
at the mill The wheat crop, which up
10 two weeks ago presented an unprom-
ising appearance, has put on new life.
Many fields have wheat that will hide a
rabbit, and our farmers are much en-
couraged at the present prospect.
Work is rapidly advancing on the new
dwelling for Mr.. A. e., Brown, at Mon
tross, and the house is closed in. Mr.
james ?. jenkins store-housc will soon
be completed.
The fishermen along the river have n
spell OF "blues." The season is far ad-
vanced, and thus far has been marked by
failure. nthe gale of wind, which lasted
n week, much damage was done to nets
and traps This, added to the poorcatch
Of fish, makes it go hard with those rely
ing on this occupation.
The Montross Jr. o. L. A. NJ. have re-
ceived their charter, and are much inter
ested in the new hall to be erected at
Montross. The building will be 90 by -
feet, with 20 feet pitch. and we predict
for the order n fourishing organization.
Rev. II. II. Smith and wife, who have
been on 1O-days' visit to friends in Ash
land, have returned home
Big preparations are being made Mt
Montross by the Town Hall Association
for an entertainment on the 2Sth of April,
at which time the Lady Of Lyons . will
be presented. This play will also be pro-
duced at Oak Grove on April 30th. The
Montross Brass Band will accompany
the caste.
Much interest is manifested in the
weekly prayer-meetings at the NJ. +.
church, under the leadership of Rev. II.
IL. Smith, pastor, who is growing in
popularity rs a pastor and preacher.
II
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
LIST or WRITINGS.

The following il list Of writings ad-
mitted to record in the Clerks office of
Stafford County court since the March
term. 1901:
DEEDS OF BARGAIN AND SALE.
G. b. Fritter ct. ux. to c. n. Turner
Thomas T. Norman ct. ais. to Agnes
Jones.
George Herndon TO Med. Combs.
A.. j. Pyke ct. ux. to Samuel Decatoe
ct. ais.
McD. Combs ct. ux. to c. W. Bridwell.
George NJ Franklin to Angy Roy.
p. b. Beach to Joseph Davis.
C. l.. Kennedy, commissioners, to Price
Edwards and William r. Deacon.
c. l.. Kennedy, commissioner, to Price
Edwards.
c. l.. Kennedy, commissioner, to Minnie
+. Deacon.
Doc Cummins to d. 4. Cummins.
n. W. Jones to Wesley Knight.
+. 7. Norman ct. ais to Isabella Up
shur.
II. 0. Nettleton ct. ux. to Carter K
Clark.
Isabella c. Dade, etc, to Carter &
Clark.
John C. Thompson et ux. to Carter 4
Clark.
S. C. Peyton to W. c. Peyton.
II. 0. Nettleton ct. ux. to Carter x
Clark.
T.W. Berrey, commissioner, etc, to A..
j. Cummins.
|. NJ. Green, etc, TO Harry Henson.
II. II. Henson to II. r. Dent.
j. A. Lowry ct. ux. to c. d. Green.
C. II. Gill to X. d. Jones.
RID. Jones to Monroe DecatOe.
G. II. Stone to NJ. K. Lowry.
James y. Armstrong et ux. to Joseph
Davis.
Richard Kelly's deed Of homestead.
DEEDS OF TRUST.
n. W. Jones to James Morton.
Same to b. 2. Willis.
]. r. Hart ct. ux. to T. p. Wallace
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
Virginia Negroes viii Fight.

The Vermont Avenue Baptist church
Washington, Rev. George W Lee, pastor
was crowded Wednesday evening with
an audience assembled to hear something
as to the object and scope of the propos
ed Constitutional Convention ofVirginiai
which meets at Richmond June II, in ref
erenee to the proposed division of the
school tax for the white and colored
schools, and the disfranchisement OF the
negroes. An organized effort is being
made by the negroes to prevent this di
vision of the taxes, which, 1t was stated
means the closing up of their schools, as
well MS the testing Of any measure OF dis
franchisement which the new Constitu
ton may impose upon them and not up
on the whites. The speaker Of the occa-
sion was a colored lawyer, James IL
Hayes, from Richmond. A collection
was taken to aid in the work. Other
meetings are to be held in other churches
to form an organization to push the
work OF sending assistance to the Educa
tional and Industrial Association of Vir
ginia, which is directing this campaign
for the colored people of the State.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
HILL ON JEFFERSON.
he Eulogizss Democratic Party.

Hon David B. Hill addressed the mem
bers of the Jefferson Club and their guests
at Buffalo, n. Y, Saturday night Hi
theme was Thomas Jefferson
In introducing Senator Hill to the audi
ence, ChairmanS Spratt referred to him as
the greatest living ofthe princi
Piles Of Jefferson Democracy.
Senator Hill was given an enthusias'
tic reception. Jefferson, he said, would
have unquestionably viewed with abhor
renee the establishment OF permanent
American colonial system, whether OBJ
tained under military rule or under civil
authority appointed blythe central gov
ernment at Washington. His theory
wasunquestionably the Democratic doe
trine OF today-that this government has
no more authority TO create a colonial
system than it has the right to create a
king.
Referring TO monopolies, he said:
"Nhen billion-dollar corporate combi-
nations are forming on every side dazzling
us with the boldness of their conception
and the boundless extent Of their propos-
ed operations, tits high time to consider
whether some wholesale restrictions up
on such corporate undertakings are not
essential, in the interest of the people"
In conclusion, Mr. Hill said.
"And now word TO party irien Is as
TO thefuture We must not be dismayed
by recent defeats. The Democratic party
was not born to die. 1t has survived
the political yicissitudes Of a hundred
years-disasters which would have de-
stroyed any other political organization
that ever existed, but it still lives with
it's 6,34O,OO0 voters, unterrided-inde-
neutrality-suspicious., conscious OF
the rightfulness of its cause, and confident
of the ultimate supremacy of it's princi-
piles.
I'VE have n right to be proud OF our
ancient political lineage. Our party Is
the great conservative force in the coun.
try today, and absolutely devoted to its
welfare. 1t stands against radicalism OF
every description. 1t is opposed to plu-
tocracy on the one hand, and commun-
ism on the other. 1t antagOniZes monop-
oily on the one side, ald socialism on
the other 1t is opposed to imperialism
in the Philippine Islands, and to anarchy
in Cuba. 1t respects the vested rights OF
capital, and at the same time sympa-
thizes with labor oppressed. 1t has no
alliances with the powerful corporate in
terests neither is it in league with dema-
gogues who disturb society, and agitate
for the mere sake OF agitation. 1t does
not regard the possession of wealth as a
crime, nor even a badge OF honor; nor
does it consider poverty either a dis
grace or virtue. 1t makes no war up-
on classes, but opposes corrupt and vie
ious systems and methods, wherever they
are to be found. 1t has no use for the
passing isms' OF the hour. Ii proposes,
as its general policy, to adhere to the
fundamental principles upon which the
party was founded by the great Jefferson
himself. In that path there is safety
honOr-success."
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
STAFFORD.
Notice 10 Candidates-Perso Of
Writings, Btc,

Correspondence of The FREE LANCE)
Stafford e. H., Va, April -. 1901.
Mrs. Sarah Callahan still continues
critically i'll.
Misses Esther and Lizzie Bryan left for
Washington today to resume their
studies.
Mr.. NJ. X. Lowry paid the Courthouse
n visit Friday on legal business.
Asevere northeaster has been prevailing
here for the last 4S hours, and the earth
il completely saturated with water.
Messrs. b. p. Willis and Geo. W. Shep-
herd. of the Burg, spent today mt this
place. taking an inventory of the stock of
n. W. Jones.
Mr.. Grover Burton left here this week
for Washington to engage in business.
Board of Supervisors will meet on
Monday, April -.
Candidates should bear in mind the
fact that the Bird day OF May is the last
day they can file notice Of their intention
to run for office at the ensuing election.
ScribbIer.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-04-18
Fort Worth and Denver headquarters

Fort Worth and Denver headquarters
recently received information that car
loaded with 10000 lbs. of powder ex-
ploded one mile north OF Bowie and liter
ally destroyed four ears on siding
The concussion broke every window in
the town, the damage, amounting to
$4,000 or $1,000 Telegraph poles and
wires were torn down for half n mile
and the force of the explosion drove a
hole in the ground fifteen feet deep. Steel
rails were hurled yards away, while por-
tions OF the box car were found 100
wards from the scene. 1t is believed
tramps set the car on fire, causing the
explosion.