The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1901-09-05

lis Just thinking part. d(
Washington Star.
A Feminine view.
Hc-"That must be n very interest,"
ing book you reading" If
shc--"Oh, It's awfully exciting! The
heroine changes her gown six times d;
IN the first chapter "-Tit-Bits.
The Difference.
Patcr--"You are very forward. sir.
In my day the young waited
until he was asked to CALL
Young Man-"Yes, and now he waits
until he's asked not to call."-Tt-Bits.
Knowledge.
First NJ. D.-'Was the operation a
successi"
Second NJ. Doh, yes. The patient
died. but we learned how he might
have been saved if we had to do it
over again."-Lfe.
Cruelty to a wife.
""rhcy say her husband treats her
worse than ever
What has he done now?'
"Why. the other day. instead OF
giving her the money to pay her bills.
he paid them hmself"-Lifc.
Social Episodes.
'Spcaking of strained relations" be-
gan Mr.. Dinwlddc.
"Wel, go on" said Mr.. Van Braam. /
cncouragngly.
'It doesn't clarity relations much
to strain them" ."-Pttsburg Chronicle i
Telegraph.
Base Dcceiver.
Editll-"You say old Mr.. Got:ox de-
cciyed Ethel dreadfuy about his L
age?"
Gladys-"Yes; poor girl. After they
were married he confessed that he
was only sixty instead of seventy
fye.''-Puck.
"Have you any reason why sentence
should not be pronounced against
you?' asked the judge.
Lots of them" replied the prisoner,
nonchalantly; 'but | guess my law
yer has worked them for all they're
worth."-Puck
The Jingle of the Guinen.
Warwick-"Now on what basis do
the Powers ascertain the indemnity L
China is to pay each of thcmT'
Wickwre-"We as rear as can l
make out they charge about FIVE hun I
dred dollars for every Chinaman they /
lilled"-Puck.
Like and Unlike
Browne-''Wfen ever woman be-
cones unrea sonable it's attributed to
her nerves. Isn't that singular?"
Towne-"Yes, but the unreason-
aDlencss of man is attributed to his
nerves, and that's still more singular"
philadelphia Press.
For Alarm.
Mrs Crabshaw"I suppose you'd be
awfully frightened If l should send
you q telegram while I'm away in the
countryT'
Crabshaw-"Indeed would my 4
dear! l don't know where TO raise any II
more money to- send you'-Puck.
Filipino Distinction.
"Yes. l impressed on the Filipino
how the Indians had prospered as
wards OF our Government
What did he say?'
''He wanted TO know If wooden
Fllipnos would be stood in front of
cigar stores in the future."-Chicago 4
News.
Q Would Make Her CRY.
Tommy-"Oh! Ouch Stop that"
Mamma-"Why, Tommy, aren't you
ashamed? l wouldn't cry that way
if it my hair that was being
combcd"
Tommy (iercely)-"I'll betyou would
If l was doln' the combing."-Phila-
delphla Press
Reasonable Conductor.
Pikey-"And just because you had N
lost your nickel the conductor made
you get off the and walk all the
way homer
Blkey--"Oh. He only put me
off, could have sat by the roadside
all night Il l had wanted to,'-Baltl-
more World.
Week on. W.
Head of Firm-"I shall not be well
enough to be Mt the office for several
days"
Clerk"why. you look all right nov. n
sir"
Head of Erm--"But I'm going shop
ping with my wife this afternoon.-'
Harper's Bazaar.
An Cure.
"And you say that Jorkins wa3
cured of a bad case of insomnia by
snggcstion!" M
Yes, purely by suggestion His
wife suggested that since he conld N
not sleep he might well sit up and IN
amuse the baby. X worked like u II
charm. ."-Chicago Rccord-Herald.
signs and Tokens.
II met the new bride out on tho
boulevard; she's keeping house"
How did she look ?-and how do you III
knowT'
III