The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1901-03-06

cock between Campbell and his opponent
until both had lost patience. One OF
those amiable persons who always know
people in trouble approached the double
dealing worker one day and said:
Now youse got the chanst OF yer life.
Campbell says he can't turn de trick wild
out youse. Take a spiel over to de meet
in t'nght and declare yourself in. He'll
take youse up all right"
The political worker went to the meet
ing that night. The next day, when his
friend met him, he was swathed in band
Hello! hello!' cried the friend. did
youse go to de Campbell meetin' las
night?"
Il did," was the reply.
Well asked the other, didn't
Campbell take you up"'
Mo- was the funereal response; he
trun me down, an he trun me hard.
Thrown down. was thus started on a
career which even now shows no indlca-
ton of lessening vitality.-Review OF the
Republic.
Norman's mamma was something OF a
stickler for propriety, and she was NOT
little annoyed that it seemed lmpossl-
BILE to make the boy give his uncle's name
the little fellow had met with a severer
reproof than usual for this shortening
of his, he said:
Il mean to be good, mamma; but /
| don't see why | should say Uncle Har-
ry; don't say Uncle Papa, do | e
A good story is told of Steve Smith,
the new special agent in New York Of
the Boston Globe. When he was many
years-but not SO many years-younger
he used to be very particular about his
al laSI In1ry fn fnn -,
matters of dress.
One day, being unable to finish his
business in Boston, he was invited to re-
| main over night with Gen. Taylor, and
on account of the large number of guests
simultaneously enjoying the general
hospitality he slept with young Charles
Taylor, now the able business manager
of the Globe.
1t was q stormy night. The wind
howled and the rain fell in torrents.
Smith could not sleep. He tossed about
and his restlessness kept even his bed
fellow awake. After standing it as long
as he could Charley called out:
Say, Steve, have you got your pa
jamas turned up at the bottom?'
why, no. said Smith.
well, how do you expect to go to
sleep? Don't you know it's raining?"
Smith silently got up and arranged the
hem Tor hems) of his neither garment as
hidden, and in few minutes both were
sound asleep, oblivious of ad contracts or
anything else.-Fourth Estate.
-:o:-
An Orion man experimental in the use
of salt in raising potatoes last season. y
few rows of hills in a field he sailed
thoroughly, and these rows yielded more
and better tubcrs than the unsalted rows.
Having used the salt during dry SPELL
he claims that it kept the hills moist.
Another thoroughly satisfactory result
was that the sailed rows were untouched
by the pestiferous potato bug.
-:O:-
A gentleman invited certain lecturer
to his house to take tea.
Immediately on being seated at the ia
BILE little daughter of the house said to
the guest abruptly:
"Where is your wife?'
The lecturer, who had recently sepa-
rated from his better half, was surprised
and annoyed at the question, and STAN
mered forth the truth:
Il don't know"
Don't know?' repeated the child
why don't you know"
Finding that the enid persisted in her
interrogationS, despite the mild reproof of
the parents, he decided to make a clean
breast of the matter and have it over at
once so he said with calmness:
well, we don't live together We
think, as we can't agree, we'd better
not"
He stified groan as the child began
again, and darted an eXasperated look at
her parents.
But the little torment would not be
quoted until she exclaimed:
Cant agree? Then why don't you
tight 1t out, the same as father and
mother o?'-Tit-Bits.
The glib falsifer of a North Missouri
paper preteDds to have heard of the fol-
lowing call for professional services sent
by local resident to a doctor in a
neighboring town: Dear DOctor--My
wife's mother is at deaths door. Please
come and see if you can't pull her
through. kansas City Journal.
The smart, clean, well-dressed boy
gazed longingly at the gutter urchins,
with their damp bundles of newspapers
and matches. This activity and indie
pendence had an unspeakable charm for
him. and after a severe inward struggle
he left his doorway and sought one of
the muddy little news agents.
do you think" he asked, chat |
should be able to earn money as you do
if [ bought some papers and came to
this corner to sell them?''
w hat does the likes o you want sell
in papers?'
I'm tired of being idle at home.'
Well said the newsboy seriously.
dyer think you can old a quire O. pa
pers in one 'and, race like PersimmOn.
lick three or four boys bigger'n yourself
with one hand, while yer takes toff' S
ha'penny, an yells Football" all the
time?'
moo, I don't" replied the we'll
dressed little boy.
''Then yer no good in the news-asency
biz said the ragged boy. You'd better
get yer people to prentice yer to some
thing easy. "-Tit-Bits
In the Near Future.-Old Friend
"And so both of your children are study
ing professions?" Hostess Yes, my
daughter is in. a polytechnic college
son is in Paris, learning dressmaking. =
New York Weekly.