Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-03-10

every Year asking them to vote for
him. But if a Hired Hand came in and
CURED a Sosh, or if any Stranger began
to act New along Main Street, he was
Jerked Up in less than no Time. And
one of them Thimble-R Ringers from the
City was justly regarded as Meat.
So the Representative OF the Dignity
and Majesty Of the Law broke through
the Crowd and introduced himself.
IF you are the Town Marshal, as
you say, | will ask you to remain here
while | am giving my Lecture and
Free Entertainment and il any one
makes any Trouble, you arrest him.
quote the Diplomatic CRATER, who
thought that a Calm Bluff would
smooth everything.
But the Town Marshal was not to
be Waved aside. He said he wanted
50 for a License Fee right away or he
would put the CRATER into the Hen
House so quick it would make his
Head swim. So the CRATER gave up
Two and started in to mix UP the Lit
tie Boxes and the Town Marshal ar
rested him for Swindling and led him
over to the Calaboose.
lUo uSAI b1iLS 10 10 Was 10 5e0u
for the Squire. He was out trimming
a Hedge, but when he heard that there
was some Easy Money down town, he
put on his Black Coat and got out
his Revised Statutes. The Squire and
the Town Marshal backed the CRATER
up into one Corner of the CaIaboose
and made him stand for a Search.
They found nearly $50 on him, so they
advised him to get a Lawyer and told
him they would do the Fair Thing by
him and give him a jury Trial. They
had a good deal of Local Pride and
were down on all Confidence Games,
so they did not want to see any of that
iH-gotten Money taken out of Town.
The Marshal happened TO have II
Personal Friends who had not been
Working much for a number OF Years,
so he went over to the General Store,
where they were wont to CoDgregate
and Criticize the Government, and
summoned them to serve as Jurors.
He told them it would not take long
because the man was Guilty.
At the Trial the Prosecutor made a
pathetic Spill about the Honest Labor
ing Man who is done out Of his Money
by Designing Villains who live in the
City. The Peers who were trying the
Case shifted their Cuds, and looked
Serious. The Attorney for the De-
PENDANT collected his Fee in Advance
and then advised his Client to Plead
Guilty.
When the Evidence was in, the Squire
gave the Twelve Good Men and True a
few Instructions. He said If they found
the Defendant Guilty they would re
ceive s1.25 each in the Way of Fees
If they found him Not Guilty they
would get what the boy shot at
The Jury was out about -Four Min
utes by the Watch. They Soaked him
$40 and Costs. especially the Costs. be-
cause that was where the Home Talent
came in. By the time the Squire, the
Marshal, the Prosecutor. the Attorney
for the Defense, the Clerk and the
Twelve Jurors cut into the Eighty
they had it reduced to 1875.
After the Prisoner had settled, the
Squire took him aside and told him he
hoped there would be no Hard Feelings
Is they merely done their Duty, and to
prove to him that they didn't have II
IN for him, they would permit him e
Sit In a little Game Of Poker ia the
hack room a. tie Harness Sion. They
knew hat 1o ~ tke@xgs7E l4Qb'
guided QfafeeE <nc1ght A. ~ cmncl