The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1901-03-21
THE BRITISH MATRON.

acteristic Style-But the British
Matron Does Not Inhabit the British
Isles OnIy-t1ayen't You Seen Her
ia the United States?
(Atlanta Constitution.)
There ia something funny about
the word British, or serio-comic, if
you like, and patriotic, too. Of course.
An Englishman speaks OF the British
empire, he says British soldier. a
British sailor, British officer; but
he would not say a British bishop.
No, he says English. That sounds
more sober and respectful in his
ears When speaking of his COM
patrie IS. he says: I'VE Britons," he
is half making fun of them, he is not
serious. When he says: 1--WE English
men, then that's another thing. His
face Immediately reflects the respect
which the sound of his own name in
| spires in him. As for "Britishers,'
| think that only refers to such
Englishmen as Great Britain should
be and is fairly ashamed Of
When an Englishman, speaking of
a woman, says: "She is thorough
English woman" that is tho greatest
compliment he could pay country
woman Of his. 1t means the embodi-
| ment Of all that is refined and deli
cate in woman. Of the best domes-
| tic virtues, and of style Of beauty
not so piquant perhaps, as that OF the
bellies Of America or Southern Europe,
but the beauty Of delicate, regular
| features, clear skin and beautiful
complexion, classical sculptural out
lines and an expression of repose. Of
modesty, and Of healthy simplicity Of
| life.
/ have myself acknowledged the
truth of the statement elsewhere.
when an English woman is beau
tiful, she is beyond competition; she
is dream, a perfect angel of beauty.
When she is ugly, tho Lord help her.
she has not redeeming point in her
| favor"
When an Englishman, speaking Of
a woman, says: "She is a regular
British matron," that means the en-
bodiment of all that is ridiculous in
woman, the EN- bodiment of all British
fads. social, religious, artistic, (or in
artistic rather) the everlasting laugh
ing stock of all the comic papers in
the world.
The British matron is not necessa-
rily old, not even elderly, say not
even of certain age. She is a pro-
duct, not result. The whole OF in
tellgent England makes fun of her;
large portion hate her, another de-
spises her: but all are under her
sway. She rules art, literature and
society in general.
Cant and inconsistency are the chief
characteristics of the British matron.
Snobbery is the next; it is the British
matron who writes to the papers to
demand of the town council the ex-
clusion of statues from the public
parks and gardens, and Of the museum
authorities the exclusion Of the nude
from the picture galleries; and it il
she who, at balls, theatres and
dinner parties, astonishes the world
with the display OF her charms.
1t is the British matron who holds
up her hands in holy horror at the
sight of men and women bathing
together on conventional beaches,
carefully forgetting to mention that
at these places, both sexes are dressed
alike in thick, dark serge costumes,
most correct and proper. 1t is she
whom you may see at English seaside
resorts, bathing in light calico, sal
mon-pink tights, absolutely free from
any kind of shirt. l hope that my
lady readers of puritanical proclivi'
ties of origin will feel obliged and
grateful TO me for not giving that
piece of attire the name by which il
is called on the list of ladies' under
clothing.
The British matron is a keenly sen
sitive person. She may not take any
notice of such pieces of news as case'
of starvation to death in the midst o
London, acts of cruelty to women ane
children, Turkish or Chinese atroci
ties and all that sort of every day in
telligence which she may read in thu
daily press; but she will air hel
Indignation in the newspapers if sh'
hears that an operation has been per
formed on a rabbit without admins
tsring anesthetics to poor bunny
She is the champion of horses, dogs
eats, rabbits and birds, and invari
ably member of the Society for tn
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals,
society which does not include mai
or woman among it's proteges.
If YOU were to remark before tn
British matron that MIR. So-andS'
wears irreproachable trousers, yo'
would create panic. But you will
see her watch men race at athlete
sports meetings and having for al
the covering on their skin their fan
mel jerseys and drawers OF the sam
material about the size of fig leaves
Saturated with perspiration, thes
rudimentary articles OF toilet viii
cleave to the forms as if the wsare
had come straight out of the water.
The British matron looks on undis
applauds and does not turn a hair
Her ears are far more easily shocke
than her eyes. She objects to tn
word, not to the thing. In her way
she is a rcalist. The thing speak
for itself, it is the truth, wherea
y, the word suggests all sorts of fanta'
1 tic ideas to her wild imagination.
The British matron swears BY ped
grees. What you may have achieve
yourself is Of very little account t
her. II you can prove to her tbs
your father is gentleman and neve
did stroke of work in his life, 70
J will be in it. If you can prove tbs
your grandfather was as useful men
: Der of society as your father, the
you will be of it.
: She reads Ouida's and Rhod
) Broughton's novels, but, if you wer
to ask her whether she has read til
novels OF Andre Theuriet or of Erl
u mann Chatrian, whose works are 8
moral as the top lines Of school cop
books, she will proudly draw herse
e | l. IL