The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1901-1901, 1901-05-15
KING EDWARD A VERMIFORM.

KING 6OWAHO n vEHMIf OHM.
The New York Journal is full of
hard hits at the English government
editor is evidently a justice-loving
man and in the long run is bound to
even up his differences with the Eng
lish method of squelching small re-
publics in South Africa, by illutsrat-
ing the real elements Of good which
the English government actually po-
sesses. Recently, the Journals edi-
torial writer got after King Edward
and Lord Salisbury in the following
decidedly interesting manner:
'"The wise men of future ages will
look back with good deal of amuse-
ment on the funny little semi-civili-
cation which now seems to us so
imposing. One picture in particular
we should say, will amuse these stu
dents of the future. The picture we
have in mind is as follows:
I'm comfortable part of London
is large, solemn building, called
Buckingham palace. This is one of
the residences of the short, stout Eng
fish king, Edward VII. 1t is big
enough to house thousand men and
women, but it is usually empty be.
cause the king is living somewhere
else.
Around this palace there is a big
garden, with very smooth walks, all
inclosed and hidden by stone WALL
'The English sparrow flying over
| the garden and looking down curious
ly sees an old man with broad should
ers and thick, bushy beard, racing
around these smooth paths on an old
fashioned tricycle., reducing his flesh
| and improving his wind
This old man with the bushy beard
is Lord Salisbury, the real ruler of
England. The newspapers have an
nounced that by special permission
he is permitted to ride his tricycle.
on the royal paths
I'm other words, little fat king
who is nothing and DOES nothing
keeps a great big palace empty
"A broad shouldered prime minis
| ter, burdened with the real cares and
the real power of government, rides
around the royal paths on his little
tricycle. by permission of the little
rat king. That seems very reasonable
to Englishmen at present. The time
will come before long when even Eng
lishmen will laugh at the idea.
Recently the new English king
showed signs of grief and irritation
when deputation of citizens called
upon him in frock coats He said they
must always appear hereafter before
his noble, imperial and majestic little
personality dressed in court costume.
He added: This is no republic
LAS matter of fact, England is an
absolute republic. 1t has not yet had
time to remove surgically a vermiform
appendix which it calls King Edward
VII
but there is no nation in the world
ruled in more genuinely republican
fashion than is England. We do not
except the United States, France or
Switzerland
I'm England men stand up for their
rights and get them. They don't stand
clubbing by policemen and they
don't tolerate special privileges for
owners of large fortunes.
''The real head of the nation is the
Marquis of Salisbury, who is elected
by the people and can be turned
out of Office in five minutes any day
in the year if the peoples represen-
tatives in parliament are dissatisfied
with him.
IF anything can be more republi.
can than the sight of this real ruler of
England riding his little tricycle. eyery
day and working harder than any
clerk in a store. we should like to
know what it is"