The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-08-18

Robert Foss, of Evansville. Ind, was
q man of thirty and never had been kiss
ed. That is to say his lips had never
been profaned By kisses of women other
than those chasteT, salutes administered
by his mother and her female friends
while he was an infant cooling in the
nurses arms Robert Foss was music
teacher. and on a number of occasions he
had announced publicly that he had
never been thrilled by the touch of won1-
ans ruby lips pressed against his own.
We have used the past tense purposeIy.
This was the condition of Robert Foss;
1t is not so now, for he has been public
ly kissed by six beautiful bellies Of swans
vile. And now that beautiful Hoosier
city is all agog with the story of the
rape of the kiss" It came about in
this wise. Like many a maiden who as
sures her admirers that, she is eighteen
years old and never has been kissed, this
modern Don Juan, as above stated, as
I serted that his experience in that line
I had been nil. That a man, and a music
teacher. at that, should have escaped
them so long. stirred the city bellies to
the very depths of their vanity, and they
determined to make him feel the weight
! of their charms in a way that would
impress him during the remainder of his
tratural life. They, therefore, gave their
friends the tip and at high noon, in the
virgin Foss was seized by the maidens
and kissed and kissed until their com
bined accumulation of nectar was ex-
hausted. The struggles. and cries of the
immaculate Foss were of no avail. None
came to his assistance. With flaming
cheeks and disheveled hair, he at last
escaped from his peril, and seeking q
justice of the peace swore out warrants
for these six bold, bad maidens of Evans
ville charging them with assault with
intent to do great bodily harm. End of
chapter one. >"-
Has Mr.. Robert Foss a. remedy at law?
If so what will be his measure of dam
ages?
That he has a remedy at law there can
be no doubt. He was publicly seized in
the streets and his person invaded
Of instances where a woman has recov-
cred damages against a man who with
out her consent thus expressed mis- ap-
probation of her charms. A woman who
|
railroad conductor to the extent of kiss,
| sued the railroad company for damages
She was non-suited, not because she
returned the kiss or in any way con-
! tributed by her negligence to the acct
! dent, but on the ground that the con-
ductor was acting outside of his duty
as an officer Of the company. 1t was
case of ultra wires. Against him individ-
ually, she would have secured damages.
Any woman who is kissed against her
will, can obtain redress from any jury.
| The reason why so few cases come be-
fore the courts is probably owing to
fear on the part of most women that
such action will tend to do away with the
practice. Those who know. say that the
average woman rather likes to be kissed
against her will, and to prove that she
abnors a kiss thus delivered she invar-
! iably returns it on the spot.
Has Mr.. Foss the same right of redress
| as a woman would have under such cir
cumstances? We must conclude that he
has. This man had lived thirty years in
! absolute innocence. 1t was perhaps the
only thing which distinguished him from
the very commonplace. He was by this
one continued act of self-denial placed
in a class with the university professor
who recently won fame on the same lines.
This lack of experience constituted
matrimonial asset which might have
proved of great value. Such virgin fresh
ness has its charm for women as well as
for men.
What, then, will be- his measure of dam
ages? First, mental anguish, both at the
time of the assaultsand for three days
thereafter. Second, ibis loss of prestige
in the community as the only unkissed
man extant. Third the probable slump
of his matrimonial stock in the general
female market. Fourth. the possibility
of contracting disease from the female
| microbes.
The world will watch the result Of this
| case with interest. Hobson may conclude
to bring suit. unless the offense is out
lawed, and Santos Dumont may be able
to secure sufficient funds to recoup him
for the damages to his balloon. This
public kissing must be discouraged.
The P. P. evidently ran out of edi-