Daily Kennebec journal., 1901-05-13
TO CATCH A THIEF.
Unique Method Taken to Capture a
Wood Pile PurIoiner.
Results In Disaster and Now Owner Invites the
Thie!s Return.

There is family over on tho East
side. beyond the raging KcnncLec. thai {
- having troubles of its own. Their
ni@hts are nights of horror and their
days are ditto only more 80, and this
IS how i All came about:
TIC bread winner Of the brood
bought. in the early spring Il s<oodly
supply Of hard wood and had il cut the
proper length Tor the stove ana piled
up i'll tnc yard Witr = shed built over
it to protect Il from th, wea her. The
other day The good housewife noticed a
@hiinkaSc in the heap and proceeded
N!th tie aid ut the legal lord to in
vt&tiEate and discover if possible the
Ethiopian in the wood pile. After sew
"rai SlceplcSS nights and anxious days
iHct came to th" conclusion that the
wood. although lively, could not have
walked off without bands ana some
neichhor Waa warming his hide by tho
warmth and glow Of their wood niIe.
nut how 10 catch tncm was thu ducs-
lion. ne hoarGorS suggested various
IDEAS and methods until one bright
%"nitS. m amateur Sherlock Holmes.
advanced the brilliant idea of boring
holes in several sticks If wood. filling
them up with powder and awaiting re-
suits.
Toe idea was Il good one and the
80. q "Nncr proceeded to adopt il and
a'i urrn this suggestion at once. Sew
"ral tempting looking sticks We're Dor
ed ?rd filed with powder and made to
LOCK rs innocent rs Il new born babe.
All race uf the auecr was removed
ana til" cticka placed whore the pIr-
'"incr would l." sure "a get them ana
the members Of the household retired
IN high %leo that night. and IN their
minds eye could sec their neighbor's
cooking utensils take an aerial flight
np through the roof: but alas. our
plans sometimes miGcarry and do not
com" cut tZact.y on scheduled time.
tt Was 81 ~ this ease.
After waiting two days. not 4 shinG.c
:'2d started on tn" neghboTin~ Queen
Anne cott1Ce. Then came Il violent gale
Cf wind in the night which partially
upset the wood pile ana now the poor
man cannot tell which sticks contain
Inc Fourth of July music.
Every time they put 4 stick of wood
in the stove they make q break for the
door and remain behind the barricade
until they are satisfied that it is not
lie prize tick with n mine in il. They
have lost all interest in the misguided
nan who has been curing their wood
by the laying on of hands and now
wish he would come back and get the
rest of the wood. They would be per
fectly willing to hold the lantern for
| h.m or even help him to load it on the
whcclbarrow il it would be any in
duccment. The man says he expects
4 Ilv ia En1T Tho ayn1OGinn mi a
| see his boiled dinner with vegetables
go sailing away like Andrca's balloon
UP north. ana later on to find some
man up at Riverside in possession of
| his frugal Tepast. or to be called upon
by the neiShbors to scrapc the squash
and other vegetables off the front Of
their houses. or to receive notice from
some farmer in an adjoining town to
| come oui at once and remove the rem
nants of his Kitchen stsove from their
premises or to stand Il law suit.
The least unnatural noise in the
night. like the slamming of n door.
they both sing out in chorus: There
she goes," and clutch whatever comes
handy. expecting to see the room with
! its contents take sudden rises toward
tin. great beyond. They have consulted
| n ClairVOy1nt. SeNentn daughter Oh IL
seventh daughter on her mothers side.
Icrn with veil or red hair, bat the
seer of the past. present and future
has thus far failed to locate those iden-
ticai Gticlzs of wood that have the
whiZ bang in them. She says all sticks
Of wood look alike to her and the fam
jlv are on the verge of distraction. The
wife is thinking seriously of wearing
n coat of mail while doing the kitchen
work. and the boarders have doubled
their life insurance and are diligently
reading Helps to Higher Life. while
the cause of all this domestic trouble
si.s and looks on and concludes that
honesty is the best policy, having tried
them both. and moraliZes thus: "It is
much better to be born lucky than to
own 4 wood pile