The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-01-29

lined up, containing some industri-
Gus noble youths and one dude, the silly
girl more than likely would gaze Up the
line and, rushing to the thing, would say,
''Oh, here is the most irresistible article
I know Of, and al 1.-The time its hair and
name both were parted in the middle. The
lap OF luxury never vet Graded a grand
man, he said. He said the miser rolling
In wealth at the close Of q barren life
was ike the fly in a whole barrel OF mo-
/ lasses. A little molasses was good for
the fly, but whole barrel was ruin 10
/ the fly Then he recited a possible scene
IA rich farmer, owning hundreds Of
cattle and thousands Of bushels Of wheat
coming to town in the fall with 3 spav-
| med, skinny steer and selling him for the
proceeds for the Lord, and il he brought
IS he would give only half Of it TO the
Lord, and if demonstrated with would
| whine 1T is my farm and my money
and I Will do as I like with it." But Mr..
! Jones said he was mistaken N that, or
/ else a liar, for if he would go home and
/ read his deed, he would find interIined by
/ the hand Of the Lord these words: 90
eupy until I come"
The speaker divided his subject Of get
/ ting there and then staying into four sub
divisions namely: How 10 get there polit-
( ioally, socially. financially, and, lastly,
how to reach that genuine manhood true
/ character and noble destiny.
| Under the head of politics he made
some of his most striking hits and most
/ scathing Iances Of irony and cutting sat
ire He opened this head by saying it
was not worth while TO get there polite
/ ally, and If he hated a man he would do
/ his best to get him elected to Office, for
no man went in and came out as good
( A clean hog might enter a cesspool. but
( just look at him when he got out. He
said If all the politicians Of this coun-
! try could be got together and Gagged in a
/ glass case and Satan could come and
/ take look at them he would fly in terror
I saying to let them go to heaven, for once
/ down in his realm they would at once
| hold a. caucus and elect their own chair
man and run him out Of hell and boss it
/ themselves, Just as they were now boss
/ ing this great nation.
/ Under the last head Of character, man
/ hood and destiny he said purpose in life
made the grand regal men and the
! splendid lovable women. He said It
/ polling, pushing force behind and ahead
and told a story to Illustrate. Once he
was driving through a country road with
his dog running along behind Suddenly
from out Of a farmyard a bigger dog
rushed and flew after his dog to eat him
up. His dog felt that then and there
was the time to act. He had a motive,
and then ne gathered his legs together,
+ and Mr.. Jones said he never saw a dog
run so in his life. AS the chase took
the pair along the dusty road they pass
ed another farm house out Of which
dashed a third dog, bigger than both the
, flying CANNES, and took after the last
That dog who was chasing the first dog
( felt it was his move He had the ardent
desire to get hold Of the Jones dog to
eat him, and another equally fervent de-
sire TO get away from the pursuer. In
other words. he had a motive ahead and
behind.
Two men start out to be brakemen on a
railroad. One Is still braking after
twenty years, while the other is presi-
dent of the road. He said the young
man who waits for the iron to get hot
Will get left; he had better pound that
iron until it IS hot. Then he roasted to
brown turn the preachers who read
their sermons, saying the Lord never yet
called man to read His gospel but to
preach it. He said he would rather a
minister would pull a pistol ON him than
a manuscript and whenever he sees a
( pastor reaching for a written sermon he
always whispers to the nearest boy to
him and politely asks him 10 please wake
him up when the old idiot had finished
his harangue why" he said 81 have
had to break many a minister Of sucking
eggs"
He said reading a sermon is giving a
theory Of the gospel and not applying the
gospel message. and then he made one
Of his inimitable SMILES. He said sup
/ posing a man is suffering terribly with
collie and sends for dignfied doctor.
/ who comes with mustard in one hand
and in the other treatise on the theory
of mustard its effects and where Il is
raised, on what soil. when sown, etc lust
as he is reading this rot another cramp
comes to the suffering patient, and he
says: "Oh. blank that theory Of mus
tard If you have any here Just you
spread some on a rag and place it on
my anatomy where It viii do some
good"
He said the world for thirty years had
/ been crying for an educated ministry,
and now we had it the church Of Christ
was as near dead as Il could ever get
( He said II the Christians Of Wichita were
not all dead. would some OF them kindly
grunt or groan once 70 signify a little
remaining feeble life2 Then he spoke Of
the home life ana how ~ would always
+ be a gentleman in his home. ~ nowhere
+ else. and the housewife could make IL
I heaven or he'll as she saw ft as she
was patient kind ana firm. He referred
7 to the dismal home where there was a
( long toneued female who could stand IN
/ the parl0r ard lick the skillet out in the
I kitchen.
! Ffrmness, he said. was essential. and
+ to rule q family Of children required pa
+ tience and firmness. and long ago he and
J his wife had decided that when 81 got SO
they could nat BOSS their kids they would
+ go out of the kid business. He said fl
+ handling a boy a father must appeal 70
4 four thinEs-his pride. his sense of honor
+ his conscience and his hide. II The frzc
three did not work a vigorous apalica-
ton on his hide would generally o. t.
/ His closing word picture o. race be-
+ tween two modern flying mail trains On
+ rival parallel roads was a mas-erpse ZEE
Of wit and eloquence. ard he closed Z
with saying chat ha enjoye5 a good race
and would go n horse races when the
folks there were az well bred IS The
horses and that he hoped the tirue would
rr-ra r~h-- +Na various church sars5