New-York tribune., 1901-10-20
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The old saying that His note is good as gold
has been modified in Kansas to His note is better
than gold" A Reno county farmer has just
brought suit to compel a mortgage company TO
accept money for which it holds against
him
tating tones as he stood before her father and
nervousy drummed on his hat that you wlIt want want
l. No: you cant @ have her," the old old ger gentIe tie,
up good, strong bluff and instead Of saving you you
didn't suppose I'd let you have her. told me that
take her . and you'd T like my Consent as matter
Of form or something of that kind Ia have have con, ,
daughter to a man who comes along saying he's
this little lesson if YOU ever happen fan in love
with any other mans daughter. 1t may help you
has the mail come?"-(Chicago Record-Herald
A curious case came up the other day before the
court in Caroline County. Md. when an ancient
resident charged with the larceny Of nine
eggs Extra jurors had to be summoned and it
cost the county $3.50 try the case. The accused
was seventy-three years old His counsel said he
had known the defendant for forty years, and it
was incredible that he would steal eggs He argued
that anyhow the State had not shown that the
eggs sound. and nine rotten eggs would have
value at all. The jury stayed out fifteen
minutes and returned verdict of not guilty.
His Fate sealed.-"Papa." said Miss Strong. IT
wish you would stay in this evening. Mr. Fardey
will want TO speak to you.
Has he really proposed at last?'
replied the dear girl TIn L9P6 1l
Press. PP!aa!'0n' 0u' ne VIII '0-D's"' "''A"S' p''
A novel invention used IN the North of England
Is sort of automatic "oouncer' for use In public
houses. Punctualy at closing time the legend.
Time please gentlemen appears a glass face.
and then an electric gong starts ringing with such
amazing power that II becomes quite impossible for
the most enthusiastic topper TO occupy the bar
for another instant.
Mr. T. Totaler-My dear. I do think it is
very appropriate for you wear that wine colored
Mrs T. TotaIer-Oh but it is watered silk you
know Baltimore American
Mrs James P Carleton. of Iowa Falls. Iowa. is
grandmother at the age Of twenty-nine and hopes
to be a great-grandmother at forty-fve. She was
married in Ohio eighteen years ago. Less than two
years later, when only thirteen years Of age. she
became a mother year ago her daughter. at
the age of fifteen. married. Last week this
child became a mother. Mr.. Carleton IS only thir-
ty-ive.
What is the difference. asked the kind hearted e
trial Of Admiral Schiey and your new farce"
Why. there isn't any fun in the trial. and there
on you're wrong: schley's trial is farce to the
audience. and your farce Is trial TO the audience
baltimore American.
Scott Rhoads and best girl was on our street
Sunday evening"" remarks THE Butler Qnd)
Record"
MELANCHOLY QUEST
am e victim OF deceit
For ! so my way.
Alas. / somehow fail 10 meet
The things that wits portray.
I have gentle mother-n-aw,
Who my regard doth win:
A Congressman never
With whiskers meath his chin
I ne'er beheld a bathing suit
Which unseemly small;
And friends with children boldly cute"
In faith. I've none at all.
know a parrot who neer used
A word worse than by joshi'
No farmer vet amused
Me with big 'begosh
And that Is why go about
In oStentatiOuS woe;
These jests-although I seek them out
can't find where they grow.
-(Washington Star.