The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-11-13
MY FRIEND THE CONDUCTOR.
BY Teddy Sawyer.

| rode half an hour on the platform
of street car yesterday and had good
heart-to heart talk as Ruth Ashmore
might have said. with my conductor
friend. Say If you want 10 get line on
| human nature 20 20 the conductor Of a
street car lie can tell you a lot OF
things. He's In a position TO see them
and II he opens up IA the conversation
line he will keep YOU interested. Take
my word for that.
Good morning, madam"-and he nod
| ded pleasantly to a hatched-faced woman
as she got on the car. who looked as II
she had swallowed a sour ball
See that woman he presently said 10
me, 'she gets on my car every day--wsits
for IL | guess You'd think she had a
temper like meat-axe but she hasn't.
Funny thing but she always gives me
ten cents instead OF five. The FIRST time
she did IL, | of couSe. handed her back
the change, but she refused II and has
been doing SO ever since This has been
going on now for three years and /
reckon she's given me about si5 I'm that
time
Peculiar ideas some women have en-?
Yes. women are the most poculsr-a wo-
mans a funny animal anyway. especially
IN street car. and tell you we bump mp
against some tarters sometimes. The
majority OF them as soon as they get
on car. swell up like dried apple
and imagine they own the place. if II
happens that every seat is taken she will
in nine cases out OF ten. glare at the
men sitting and will. sooner or later. hyp-
notlze some easy mark into giving up his
seat. although IL may have been the first
ume he has sat down during the day.
ITS rarely. however a woman thinks
OF giving up her seat TO an elderly man.
I remember once, only once, / saw wo-
msn-excuse me. a lady. give up her seat
20 An aged gentleman who took il with
a thank you l then overheard another
woman near the end say TO her friend:
See that She did that for effect
There's human nature FOR you.
Pennies, Ye Gods. every woman has
pennies Where they get so many don't
see and really believe they save them
literally hoard them. 10 give to us con-
duCtors. | knew woman once that used
10 invariably give me "A bunch of these
coppers one day she forgot the pennies
and took the extreme-gaVe me a five-
dollar bill / went TO the platform and
began a still hunt. Fished out every
penny | could find and succeeded I'm get
ting 80 OF them-the> balance I'm five and
ten cent pieces. Then with an inward
chuckle I went To ier and deposited IL
all I'm her gloved hand. She did a con
tortion act with her face and 1t took her
six blocks 10 count IL. She didn't whim-
atIt 4 ppnlH
boiling inside. However, she caught on
To my quiet sarcasm I'm actions and never
again did she give me any pennies for her
fare.
Funny thing happened day before yes
terday-haVe laughed over it a dozen
times \ man got on my car and found
seat. At the next stop a woman got In
and as the man was an easy mark he
arose and gave up his seat with polite
take my seat. madam" She sat down
with a bump and burst out: The very
idea, that you have the audacity 10 speak
to me. did not address you. sir-not
word, You're the most presumntlous in
dividual l ever saw. I'd let YOU know
I'm decent woman and that you have
no right 10 speak to me WhN-why-the
very idea OF you're saying a word to me-
II my husband were here he'd --'
or course the man was thunderstruck az
this TRADE. He backed out Of the car
slld ! hinW ne kol Oh TWO hiothN ~potlfI
than he expected to. Hows that for an
incident? Another day one OF those milk
and water girlies who was long com
plexion that comes In boxes and short
on politenesS. tripped lightly aboard and
played bah with her eyes To see If any
OF the occupants were looking AZ her
new coat She stood for moment when
a man arose and quietly offered her his
scat She took a minute to pull the train
or her dress 10 the front aud melted into
the seat without word The man looked
al her moment and them without a
smile. remarked: II beg your pardon.
what did you say?'
81 didn't say anything" responded the
girl
"Oh. excuse me-" said tho man, II
thought YOU said thank YOU
Then he went out. The other occupants !
Of the car Uttered and hid behind news
papers bur schoolboy i'm tho corner |
had the audscity to laugh outright The |
girl colored even through her complexion |
Then there's tho Noman who has four |
children-like steps--the oldest one only |
about six years old. They generally take !
about FIVE minutes to get seated and then |
occupy four seats. while others stand |
When YOU ask fare of the mother for |
the oldest one she jumps down your !
throat and gives you a tongue lashing |
that would put some mothers. s.in-law in |
the shade Nc have tp stand ~ too ~ !
VIC happen to carry n passenger past their /