The Iola register., 1901-08-23

|
| Toronto, the councilmen having
learned the game enough to know tnat
800, the old fee, is oppressive.
Mrs. Nation knocked cigar from
an eastern mans mouth and ne slap
ped her. The bully" west should
really be called the gallant west"
Over in Woodson county the News
says "cattle are grazing on thous-
and hills" This must be rather hard
on the boy who drives up the town
herd.
In tent near Coffeyville some
CRATER is exhibiting ''nying girl" ,"
but naturally IL doesn't draw. There
are too many fly girls on the original
townsite.
A Yates Center man was told by his
doctor to rise earlier and drink in the
morning air. Next morning his wife
discovered him finishing a quart bottle
on the lawn.
Up at Quenemo the persistent and
| inquisitive citizen can secure chop
tedingo" either in pints or quarts. 1t
is guaranteed to do the business in the
old fashioned way.
Four hundred and twenty-one cars
of prairie hay reached Kansas City
Tuesday. II it were in one pile it
would be imposing enough to scare
horseless carriage.
Miss Carrie Nation lives at Erie.
Aside from an occasional visit to
| Chanute she shown no impulse indi-
eating desire to follow the riotous
| pace of Mrs. Nation.
/ III. -. l,a.. A.
! fabric otherwise known as the prohi-
bitory law. The Schlitz Brewing
| Company is building a warehouse at
| Leavenworth.
Marshal c. K. T. Prentice serves
notice to Lawrence business men that
all who fail to pay license at once
may expect him to fall on them with
all his initials. Nun said.
Calvin Titus, who got into the army
like boys all do who 90, and was first
over the walls of Pekin, is minor
and has guardian. If he needs
guardian, what does Pekin need?
Atchison Globe Come closer: we
want to whisper this to you: You
know those half hose little children
are wearing? Well, the women are
wearing half hose just like them.
An Ottawa groom on his tower"
had the usual determination to play
the old married man. At the first ho-
tel he registered for himself but forgot
his wife and was called down sharply.
An Ottawa woman advertises for a
"blue-eyed, light-haired, good-natur-
ed baby" She, wise dame, has
doubtless heard of the terrible fate of
Grover Cleveland who did not adver-
tise.
A Parsons Elk started for Mil
waukee promising to return in three
days. AT the end of n week he wired
weather cool: having good time; 60
ing north" His father wired back:
"Keep going"
Angel Matthewson, who loans
money at Parsons, is touring Europe
and very naturally many of the home
folks take considerable interest in his
wanderings. None of them less than
6 percent
The Minneapolis Messenger knows
a man who rallied at his wife after this
fashion,: "When | married you you
hadn't rag to your back, and now
ungrateful hussy-you are covered
with them"
The Orient railway threatens again
to go around Emporia unless land
wanted is sold cheaper. A good, stiff
game Of stud poker would make an
excellent schooling for the average
railroad promoter.
John Finnerty, gay Irishman of
Seneca, was twice engaged to the same
charming widow and twice failed to
appear at the wedding Now she has
sued him for breech of promise and
stood by when the papers were served
on him.
Exchange readers note with aston
ishment how many Kansas editors
5 wrote true report of II news item,
+ pigeonholed it and after these many
years printed it last week. 1t was the
same item and never man has given
! credit to the unknown author.
Noting that an Emporia man was
arrested for swearing the Douglas
| Tribune advocates arresting all who
swear in Douglas. The editor says
he thinks it "a darned easy way tC
pay the towns expenses"
The Katy recently filed mortgage
j at Oswego for IS millions and hao
S $42. 500 cancelled revenue stamps on
! it. Katy seems not as sharp at &
i, bargain as most of her sex. Had sh,
waited she could have escaped the
revenue.
: A Neosho Falls clerk who went tt
work at Independence was not received
into the bosom OF the 400 until they
learned that he plays the slide from
i bone. If he is only triple-tonged h,
=, will probably marry the bankers
O daughter before fall.
d Secretary Barnes of the State Agri
~ cultural Bureau eXhorts farmers t
hold their apples. He thinks thos
. who do will soon resemble bloateC
;, bondholders, and people who have eX
l. perimented with green apples cal
realize how this may easily be.