The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-01-13
eanel,ng youth who was old enough to

A gangling Youth who was old enough 10
| get out and rustic for a Salary remained a.
| Home because his Mother set such a Good
| Table and knew how TO Wait on him. Tnere
was no necessity of his Buckling Down SO
long as both his Parents had their Health
so he spent most of his Time thinking about
his Complexion.
He was a Humid young Man with no
| Vicious Traits and he wore those tall SIDE
board Collars and let his Hair float dow
| over his Temples, the same as a Trick b.
| cycle Rider.
This young Man was very anxious to be
Refined. He had been told that one wno
| seeks to Snare Out a Girl with Money IN
her own name and get her to thinking ABOUT
| him until she is Feverish must be there
with the Refinement.
When the Daughter Of the Steam Baker
| married the Piano Tuner there had been n
| good deal of Knocking to the Effect that
| she had picked a Dead one. but the
| Match was finally justified on the Grounds
that although he was a Crab as to Business
| G-et-up-and-Get and a Blacksmith with the
Piano. he Graded Up middllng strong on ac-
| count of his Refinement.
The Young Man who wanted to be Re-
fined had read the Short Stories in the
Evening Papers and he had noticed that
invariably it was the Refined Kind with a
Name something like Llewellyn or Sutcliffe
who has the Girl to Rights. When the
Story ends with a Bump down toward the
tail-end of the Column, the Refined Lover
has Celeste doing the Cling and Smiling
through her tears, which is no easy Trick,
if you stop to think about it. Then one or
the other whispers Forever" and the
Reading Matter runs into a Paid Notice
of a SPAWN Cure.
The Young lar knew that IL he could
| get himself well dosed with Refinement he
would be all the Eggs and a guaranteed
Lady-Killer. And lie was sure that it
would not take long to soak up a lot of
Refinement after he got the Hang of it.
He knew a Girl who went way TO a
Normal School just as Common as an Old
Shoe and she came back in Nine Weeks so
Refined that it Hurt her at Times. Also he
had a friend with Burnsides who had been
in the Plug Class until he attended a Veter-
mary College for one Term and then he
came Home with a Raglan Overcoat and a
Yellow Muffier and he was so Refined that
| every one spoke about it. The Other Eel
lows, with Ordinary Sleeves in their Coats
and no Symptoms Of Refinement were not
One-Two-Seven.
Unfortunately. the Young Man who
yearned for Refinement and heard so much
about it was unable to decide what kind of
Treatment he would have to take. He
surmised that he would have to let his Cuffs
H.. - MI $3.50
take hold of a Lady's Arm when escorting
her, but he had no Doubt there were other
i Points to be observed. In the Spirit of In
quiry he went out asking Questions.
| The answers did not seem to Jibe.
| A Heavy Swell, who had met Stacks of
Refined People on Trains and Steamboats,,
told the Young Man that a Chap could not
be set down as thoroughly Refined unless
he employed Cheap Foreign Labor to put
the Dress Studs in his Shirt and had the
Moral Courage to wear Clothes made on
the Other Side.
This Answer did not clear up anything,
so the Young Man went to a Hotel which
was said to be a Hang-Out for Refined
Folks because the cheapest Room was Six
per day.
81 suppose the Best People stop here?'
said the Young Man to the Head Clerk.
IF they have the Money, we don't dare
to turn them away" was the Reply of the
Head Clerk.
"A Man in your Exalted Position rubs up
against plenty of Refined People," sug-
gested the Young Man. Now tell me what
are the Outward Evidences of True Re
| finement?"
The Head Clerk meditated before giving