Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1901-08-22

y
and green looked pretty. and 1t wus
all ready for the company when they
cum hum from church.
We that knowcd things felt that we
could see marks of innard torture on
poor Mrs. Virgins. face, and we felt to
sympathize, fur she wus naturally a
| moral woman and a pious one, and
she'd been driven to sin by the mean
ness of her pardner. You see, she wus
, one of them women that lives fur their
| children. Eff she'd been pelican, she'd
| hev took all the feathers out of her
| buzzim to make 'em beds, and she'd
sackerficed herself fur Melindy. She
| looked kinder better when she got to
church, but our minister he wus young
and hadn't married nobody before, and,
| bein naryous, he commenced fur to
read the burial sarvice instead of the
marriage sarvice, and we, bein all stiff
with horrer, hadn't presence of mind
enough fur to stop him until he'd actil-
| ly buried Melindy as fur as words
| could go, and Mrs. Wiggins wus in
| high strikes.
| However, she got over 'em, and the
minister he said he didn't know after
all but it wus providence to keep lis
from bein too sot on the things of this
world and reminded how short life wus
and went back and married 'em proper
| And so we did get back to Virgins,
only, Mr.. Virgins hevin been too mean
to get the wagn mended, the wheel
come off, and they wus all split out and
| eenamost drownded goin over Slabside
| bridge that amt got no railin. Mrs.
Wiggins, poor dear, wus soaked, and
when we TUX her into our wagln she
kept sayin. Judgments Judgments
| Judgments Is cominp' We knowed what
she wus thinkin Of and we tried to
cheer her up.
| Well. when the folks wus dried and
dressed over we all went to supper, and
| we praised it up as much as we could,
but Mrs. Virgins sot down in her place
like q ghost, and folks began to talk
and laugh and help everything. But
| she didn't smile.
| She passed the chicken salad plates
to the help, and the help gave 'em to
! the folks, and we all tasted it, but it
| didn't relish. Still we tried to eat it fur
| her sake. Most of us done it, too, and
| the coffee wus good, and we cheered
up some. Mrs. Virgins didn't cat no
salad herself, so she didn't know how
| it tasted. After supper we all went In
| to the parlor and sot around and ST
Barker wus tryin to git up dancin, and
/ did hope things would end happy,
when all of sudden folks began to
| look pale and say they wus p'isoned.
So they seemed to be. One arter the
other wus took sick, and they all said
| the same thing-it wus the salad.
| felt very poorly myself, and so did my
| Obediah. The minister had gone home
| sick, and there Wus a regular panic.
There wus one doctor there, and he
sent fur another, and old Miss PEBBLES
said it wus like old cholera times. 1t
wus awful, anyway, but jest as we
wus at the wust, we ladies lyin about
in the up stairs rooms expectin to die
and feelia sure 1t WINS arsenic. Afrss
Virgins appeared amongst us.
Friends and feller sinners" she said
1--WE air all on the pint of death. and
here, before you ALL make confes-
sion. I am thief and a robber, and
shall never be pardoned. 1t wus me
that robbed my husband, and. more
| than that, | stole the chickens to make
| the sallad-one of 'em from each of my
| good friends and neighbors. Judgments
has fallen!
''You wus driv to it, Mrs. Wiggins,"
sez l, "by your pardner's meanness.
We all knowed it, and none of us
blame you"
"You don't know ALL" said Mrs. Wig
| gins. "AIore'n that, l went to the store
and TUX my chances and stole bottle
of lie. The recipe said to make the sal
lad dressin with lie. I'd never made
none. I stole the bottle. Oh, shanf
never be forgiven, shan't never be for
given! l TUX bottle of pison Of some
sort, fur it wus in the drug department
where lies is kept. and I'm a muir
derer"
"Oh, ho!" says the doctor. Bring me
the bottle, Mrs. Virgins, and l guess
I'll find out how to cure 'em."
Mrs. Virgins fetched it; doctor he
tasted it.
"This amt p'ison, ladies'" sez he.
'gThere amt no great harm done, only
don't suppose the recipe mentioned cas-
tor oil for salad dressing. 'Tisn't usual
anyhow. Nobody is goin to die this
time. Mrs. Virgins, unless 1t is you
/ i L
| self"
Poor Mrs. Virgins, she dropped on
her knees and prayed right there fur
thankfulness, and we all fined i'll, and
as soon as folks knowed they hadn't
tux arsenic they all got better. Mrs.
! Virgins solemn and distracted looks
and her not eatin any had made them
that worn't in the secret think that
she'd gone crazy and done it a-purpose,
| which scared 'em more.
And they do say Mr.. Virgins amt
quite so near as he used to be since he
| saw what might come Of drivin a wo-
/ man into corner for want of penny
Still, we shan't forget Mellndy Wig
gins wedding in hurry. those of us
| that went to 1t.
The Discount Fiend.
There is probably no abuse which the
long suffering wholesale market has
had perpetrated upon it to such an ex-
tent as that for which the discount
fiend is responsible. Many apparently
reputable merchants who would scorn
the idea of dishonesty are at the same
time often guilty of taking an extra 20
days discount on bills which have
passed their maturity. But this is not
ALL Occasionally a case comes to light
where the discount fiend goes SO far as
20 deduct 10 per cent from 7-10 bill,
and if the firm In question sees fit to
return his check and ask for full set
tlement the goods are shipped back and
the wholesaler told to whistle for re-
dress. Bookkeeper.
A Fish and Lizard Story.
One afternoon thought would &C
down the river and troll. had on my
| hook a live nlinnOw and in n LITTLE