davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
FOUND HIS COAT OF ARMS.
Western Millionaire Was Not Anxio,

Western Millionaire Was Not Anxious
to Inquire Into Ancestral Record.
A man who had been west for sever
al years accommodating large fortune
returned to New York short time ago
with his family and resumed his resi-
dence in this city. Before he left New
York he had had vague idea that he
was a man of family; that his ancestry
was something to look back upon with
pride, and that it entitled him to no
mean position in society. Out in the
wild and woolly occident, In his strenu-
GUS endeayort to increase his pile, geneal-
ogy was farthest from his thoughts.
He had not long resumed his residence
in New York before his wife and
daughters began to go out. Through
constant urging on the part of his wife
and daughters he finally decided to look
up his tree in the hope of discovering
the family crest. A firm which dealt
in genealogy and heraldry for an ap-
propriate fee fitted him out With a tree
rooted in royalty and budding out with
the flower of the land, and also a coat
of arms consisting of sheep In golden
fleece rampant with two eagles dupli-
cate in an azure field. The wife and
daughters dubbed over with delight
and could hardly wait for the embla-
zoning of the crest. Paterfamilias was
somewhat skeptical, however, and
sought the counsel of friend who ad.
vised him to look up his tree and verify
it at the New York Historical society
He set to work with a will and after
several weeks labor had traced back
his ancestry for four generations, but
as yet had found nothing in the way OF
antecedent to be especially proud. The
librarian was becoming bit testy at
the incessant demand for records and
historical works and one day, in reply
to request for something of an earlier
date, almost snapped outs
"Why don't you try the records Of the
general quarter sessions courtY'
Good idea," said the man in search
Of ancestral knowledge. and he was
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

but the big achievements are his. The
figures representing the wealth his mind
directs in the railroad field are SO vast as
to be inconceivable. A row Of ten figures
will alone describe them in numbers Of
dollars.
The Morgans were early associated
with the Vanderbilts in the upbuilding
and extension of the New York Central
properties. In this work it was the mas
ter intellect of J. Pierpont Morgan which
deftly manipulated those vast properties
and brought them to their present eff
cheney. The name which was associated
with them was the name of Vanderbilt,
but the mind that mastered the giant
problems was the mind of Morgan
Among the concrete results of Mr.. Nor
gan's intellectual labors have been the
reorganization of the Buffalo and the
West Shore, and its lease to the New
York Central; the reorganization of the
Chesapeake and Ohio; the Encouragement
of the Great Southern and the reorgan-
ization of the Erie, and his influence has
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

soon poring over the parchment-bound
tones. This is the real thing" he said
to himself after fifty pages of Stuyve-
SAINTS. Van Rensselaers, Van Brunts.
De Peysters, ETC., recorded as Judge,
mayors, aldermen and jurors. He was
confident that he would soon be at the
root Of the tree and his confidence was
not misplaced. :.
When asked at home what success
he had met with he replied:
THE really appropriate heraldic
design for our family crest would be a
gallows rampant with an ancestor
pendant, and any quantity Of crows in
an azure field."-New York Evening
Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

been felt by the Pacific system. Some Of
the achievements which he made incl
dents to his money and railroad business
are the present efficiency of the China
and Japan carrying trade, the consolida-
tion Of the Western Union Telegraph and
the American Bell Telephone companies.
the combination of the coffin producing
and steel industries, and his launching of
the new Edison process of magnetic iron
ore separation. Mr.. Morgan is fond Of
the good things of life, although his most
intense pleasures are derived from the
exercise Of his functions as a business
man. He scatters wealth among chari-
ties with lavish hand. He likes fine
paintings and rare books. He has copy
Of the great folio Shakespeare Of 1923.
and Mazarin Bible. He is a good
church member, smokes expensive cigars.
likes steam yachts, good dogs. fine
horses and, in short, by no means spends
all his time dreaming of new combina-
tions in business or Of the price Of money
in the great markets of the world.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
THEY WERE SWEETHEARTS!
. ESIDE French window in O

N ESIDE a French window in q
TX deep armchair sat woman. 1t
- was evening, and driZZling rain
dampened the pane, but the woman
stared straight ahead into the dark
ness and seemed unconscious of the
immediate environments. None who
knew her had ever sees her face lose
Its sweet placidity, nor had they heard
her words make a discord in the music
of speech. She passed among her fel-
low-creatures dropping bits of sum
shine. here and there as she went her
way, looking toward the mysterious
future.
And now, as she sat there alone. a
great calm fell over her, for the mission
which she had long sought had at last
come into her life. What should she
do? The woman's eyes closed and she
leaned her head back against the vel
vet cushions Of the chair. The ideal
outlines of face formed themselves
on the curtain of her imagination-a
face neither handsome nor imposing in
appearance, but with coldly critical
blue eyes and sensitive tightening of
the lips; face one could love for his
frank boyishness. The blue eyes smil-
ed into the eyes of the woman, and she
sighed over her mission because the
face was there.
Heaven give me strength" she muir
INJURED, an alien passion stealing over
her face; ''it is for him-for him.
Did she not see the sudden swinging
aside of the door curtains, nor hear
the confident stride across the thresh.
old?
There was pause, followed by a
deep-voiced ejaculation of impatience
as some one stumbled over a chair.
The woman rose noiselessly and lighted
the gas-then smiled as the glare fell
on the young man standing before her
with his hands thrust deeply in his
pockets.
ST beg pardon, Evelyn" he burst out,
laughing good-naturedly as his hand
clasped hers. what are you doing
alone in this gloom? Don't | bring
sunshine enough with me without you
Tightening up as l enter?" He threw
himself into a chair. what a night!
Gloomy as the hours of midnight. |
have the blues, Evelyn-may tell you
all my troubles"
Evelyn Westland gazed down on the
boyish face with strange wistfulness.
~ q = 80 51=tich diYided their lives
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
A Scientific scran Roo1r

L. o. Howard, chief of the. division of
entomology, felt somewhat fiattered at
receiving one day letter from a gen.
tleman asking him to send a copy of
his report.
Mr.. Howard replied promptly, and
asked to which particular report his
correspondent. referred. The answer
came:
"Am not particular which one you
send. / want # for p-book."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

That settles it, Danks, Our land.
lady has been reading about Loeb's salt
cure"
What now:"
We'll get salt herring breakfasts
every morning until the berry season."
Philadelphia North American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Inform a ton Always on Tan,

JOSIAH" said Mrs. Chugwater,
when one of the big battleships runs
aground how do they get it off,"
They pull it off with a tug of war;
answered Mr.. Chugwater. II should
think you'd know enough to know
that. t."-Chicago Tribune.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Women Workers in France.

A recent volume treating of the work
of women in France gives this table of
women workers in that country: Ply
sicians,45O; authors, 519; artists and
sculptressess $500; singers and actress
es, 5000; nurses, 1900; milliners, 30
600; government employees $4,000;
members of religious orders, $4,000;
teachers, 100000; in business houses,
5000; landowners, 100000; factory
girls, s,575. 900; domestic servants, $50.
600; seamstresses. $4,000; farm labor.
ers. 100000
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Dr. Ende-There's nothing serious the
matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulcahy.
think little soap and water will do
him as much good as anything.
Mrs. Mulcahy-Yis, docther; an will
OF give it t. him befoor or afther his
males Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Bosling-Oh, well, all horse dealers
are more or less tricky
Gosling-Yes, but this one was the
most bold-faced liar ever saw. First
he told me the horse was perfectly
sound, and in the very next breath he
admitted it was well ll-broken-PhiIadel-
phia Press
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Tna Bad.

Mrs. Mann-That young Mr. ChiIders
is dead. 1t was awfully sudden. Isn't
it too bad?
Mr.. Mainland he was getting along
so famously at coloring his meer-
schaum.-Transcript,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Farmers Wife-Why don't you eat
that piece of steak sent out for you?
Tramp Gndignantly)-I didn't ask for
work, ma'am; asked for something 10
eat.-Pick- -Me-Up.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
HOMEGROWN Luster,

Then you don't bank much on an
cestral prideT
mo; it is more to a mans credit to
start from nowhere and be somebod,
than to start from somewhere and be
nobody."-Indianapolis Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

When girl is first in love. she buys
very expensive note paper to write to
Him on, but after the engagement is
an cid affair, she writes her notes en-
margins of newspapers, or on the
butchers wrapping paper.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Polly, dear. suppose 1 were to shoot
at a tree with five birds on it, and kill
three, how many would there be lefty
Polly (aged 6)-Three, please.
Teacher-No-two would be left.
Polly-No, there wouldn't. The three
shot would be left and the other two
would be flied away.-Tit-Bits.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

why should woman take a mans
name when she marries him?'
We'll, as long as she takes every
thing else, she might, as well take that,
too.-Philadelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

He-Going shopping, Miss Wander
velt?
She-Yes. I'm going to buy some
pretty pictures for my room.
He-Why don't you buy half-dozen
mirrors? Then you would see a pretty
picture whichever way you turned
Summerville Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

The largest sponge ever sent to mar
ket was from the Mediterranean. 1t
was ten feet in circumference and
three in diameter
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Friend-Stormington is a heroic actor,
isn't he?
+ Comedian-You bet he is! Why, OLE
several occasions I've seen him keen
right on acting till he was fired uponv'
Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Ida never talks slang"
"Then that's it. wondered why It
was she could never make herself m
derstood. d."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

CIerk-That train robber says he
won't pay his bill.
Missouri Grocer-Well then, sup.
pose Well have to garnishee the rail-
road company.-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Signs of Appropriat on.

Mr.. Simpkins and our daughter
must be engaged"
DO they seem fond of each other?"
No; but he has begun to find fault
with her."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Mistress-Honora. didn't l see Mr..
Skyler kiss you this morning?
Maid-Fm astonished. Mrs. Skyler.
that you should think of such a thing!
Mr. Skyler of all men! Why, you know,
he never kisses even you.-Boston
Transcript.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Mother-My dear boy, I'm so glad to
have you home again. l suppose you
were where the balls were thickest?
Soldier Son-Yes, mother; the high
balls.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

"You can't believe more than half
you hear"
(which half of what you tell me shall
believer"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

You fellows" complained the King
OF Beasts, don't seem to be properly
impressed when l start to describe nv
adventures"
"Ah!' replied the diplomatic hyena,
"your stories are wonderful, but then
we know you are a lfon."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Recognz z I'd the American.

Judge Hicks, of Minneapolis, being in
London, inquired his way of a police
man.
You're from Hamericaw
Eyes, SIR"
'You can't 'ide the haccent."-Boston
Christian Register.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Night in Chicago.

Conductor-Why didn't you stop for
them three fellers that signaled?
Motorman-I got my weeks salary in
me pocket, and you bet l amt takin'
chances like that-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

bHu T TOrm,
LiStent" he WhisDered.

'Listen!" he whispered.
Marjorie pressed his hand softly.
Not now!" she said at is bad form
to listen while the piano is playing"'-
Detroit Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
The First Rule

New Boarder-Can l get my meals
on time?
Landlady-No; you will have to pay
In adyauce--Harlem Life
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
A Regular Thing

Daughter" said Mr.. Giddings, sis
that young Mr.. Dinsmore a man of
regular habits?''
"Oh. yes, papa" replied Miss Gid
dings. He proposes regularly every
Thursday ght."-Detroit Free Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
iNGS HERE AND THERE

Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-sayings
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Lauxha bls-The Weeks Huuor.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

what animal is it that is web-footed,
Tommie?''
The spider, ma'am." Yonkers
Statesman.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

]. Pierpont Morgan. the new industrial
king of the United States, has risen so
suddenly into that position that it will
be some fine before the public generally
will be able rightly to associate him with
the power he really possesses. Mr.. Nor
gans name has been SO long and init
mately connected with banking that the
old association will cling even in spite
of his recent stupendous operations In
railroad and his just completed acquisl-
tiOn, for himself and his capitalist part
ners, of the huge steel industries hitherto
in the control of Andrew Carnegie. But
Mr.. Morgan has long been an important
figure in the steel business, even if Mr..
Carnegie's prime position in that field has
served to obscure his rivals prominence.
Hereafter the name of Morgan will con-
note railway empire in America and the
mighty grind of iron and steel mills.
The new industrial ruler is a native of
Hartford, Conn. His father, James Nor
gan, was a farmer boy who became a
New England banker. The son was edu-
Gated in Boston and in Germany and at
the death of his father inherited for
tune of about $10,O00,0OO. These figures
represented the Morgan equity in the
banking house of J. s. Morgan & Co. of
London and of Drexel, Morgan & Co. of
New York. Pierpont Morgan married
Miss Frances Tracy. He has three chill
dren, Louisa and Annie and j. Pierpont,
Jr., who attends to the business of the
banking houses abroad. AS an example
of business capacity of remarkable
kind, Mr.. Morgan is unparalleled. No
great mental product of modern industry
can approach him. He is as capable as
any of the Rothschilds in the money line
and his recent achievements as an indus
trial organizer surpass any similar feats
performed by other operators in this
country or abroad. Numerous organizers
necessarily did much preparatory work.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Judge-Gentlemen of the Jury, what
is your verdict?
Irish Foreman-We foind that the
mon who stole the horse is not guilty.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

A boys first trousers and a mans
first love are soon outgrown.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Cold,

He-I have been longing for this mo,
ment, Miss Flossie, when l can lay my
burning heart at your feet.
Flossie-Oh. it's very good of you
my feet are so cold.-Ally Sloper.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Accounting for Their Activity.

Mr. Hayseed-These New Workers
jes' rush themselves to death. Why on
earth do they kill themselves that
way?
Mrs. Hayseed-I-and sakes! they've
got to. Think of the rents they pay
New York Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

NeII, II Was UIIIVU as q Urama, Dut It
was farce before they got through
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

No. this isn't grip. I haven't time to
stay at home and send for a doctor.
This is simply a bad d."-Washing-
ton Post,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Parson-Will you hab her for bettah
er WoSS?
Isaac-Well, sab, dunno. My folks
say it's woss and her folks say it's bet
tah
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

? Whats the matter with you?" asked
the sympathetic friend; IAN attack of
priDI'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Pa hos Mixed with the Humor.
"Was the amateur play a drama or a
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

"What are you reading, DorieT'
"Papa's poems."
"Been naughty?"-Punch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Jimmy-What time do yer have ter
get ter work?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Edlth-How was the season at Bar
Harbor?
Mabel-Just lovely! 1 got eight en-
gagement rings and only three had to
be returned.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Barnestorm-Yes; poor Ranter has
gone crazy as loon. The part he had
to play was too much for him.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
Getting at His Finances.


Owner-Here! What are you doing
in my safe?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22


He-Well, we can't believe more than
half we hear.
She-Oh, worse than that; can't be-
lieve more than half say.-Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Barnestorm-No; Monte Cristo," at
$12 per week and six weeks salary due.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22
He Puts Men to Sleep.

"My brother, the prize fighter, has put
a dozen men to Sleep"
That's nothing. My brother, the
preacher, puts the whole congregation
to sleep.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Johnny-Oh, any time l like as long
as amt later than o'clock.-Harpel"s
Bazaar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-03-22

Statesman
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-12-07
Animal Psycholox.

The psychology of animals is a sub
iect which seems to be progressing
rapidly. says the London Graphic. Not
long since society in Paris for the
Investigation of the soul of animals
made the great discovery that lions
were greedy and monkeys vain. Moro
recently sayant. after many expert
ments at the geological gardens, elic-
tied proof of the high aesthetic ca
pacities Of the feline tribe. A tiger
purred and smiled over piece Of wool
Tipped in lavender water, and q lion
hit his consort on the side of the head
when she approached his bottle Of eau
lie cologne. Another professor has now
shown that animals are at least as
subject to hypnotic influence as men
HOLSTERS for instance when stood on
heir head for FIVE or ten minutes, be-
como so thoroughly hypnotized that
Jogging did not awaken them"
Guinea pigs are equally susceptible,
Il care is taken to avoid making q
sQeaky noise. 1t is curious that in
his investigation into animal psy-
shology scientific appliances are not
more used. The photograph would
be Of inestimable value in the hands
II an experimenter in finding out the
language and might be almost as use
ful as casing hypnotically at croco-
dies" or spinning guinea pigs like
q ton"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-12-07

1t 10 not an unusual thing to be able
to waken oneself at a certain time,
yet the habit may be carried SO far as
to be almost mysterious in Its delicate
accuracy. Says the author OF 'sThree
Men on Wheels"
There are men who can waken them.
selves at any time. to the minute. They
say to themselves. as they lay their
heads upon the pillow: ''Four-thirty, /"
"four-forty-five" or ''fve-fifteen," as
the case may be; and when the. time
comes. they open their eyes. 1t is very
wonderful. this The more one dwells
upon it the greater the mystery
grows Some ego within rs, acting in.
dependently Of our conscious self,
must be capable Of counting the hours
while we sleep. Unaided by clock OF
sun. or any other medium known to
our five senses. 1t keeps watch through
the darkness. At the exact moment Il
whispers .Time!' and we awake.
The work Of an old riverside fellow
called him to be out OF bed each morn
Ing half an hour before high tide. New.
er once did he oversleep by half a
minute. At last he gave up working
out the time for himself. He would
sleep dreamless sleep, and every
morning. At q different hour. this
ghostly Waterman. true AZ the tide
ttsslf, would silently call hin,.-.
xeuth'e cenpaalens
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1901-12-07
A Freak Of Honey Beer,

II any one wants a curiosity in til.
line Of honey manufacture the oppor-
tunity is offered to him on e. ellis
farm. east Of Montavilla. Bees have
made comb in the buck brush. This
brush has a thick growth and the
limbs and branches are so closely
crossed as to be almost matted. In
one place the bees found the branches
20 close as to form the fails Of comb.
and they Immediately proceeded TO I'LL
the space with honey. IL is common
for the little busy bee to store his
sweets in the hollow parts of trees,
but this is the first case known where
a comb has been made in the open.
Whosoeyer goes in quest Of the curl.
osity should bear in mind that the
bees are Just now In command Of the
MISUNDERSTANDING prsgenlasi &.