The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-11-15

old one. Clara-Oh, you dear, sweet.
lovely, generous old boy!
Eyes, my DEAR" said the sarcastic
hubby; you may have made the cake
all alone, as you say, but who helped
you to lift it out Of the oven"
Mrs. Guinnivoice-1 never have any
trouble with baby. I've only to sing to
him and he goes right off to sleep. Mrs.
Phaser-What a knowing child!-Bos-
ton Transcript.
At the church door: Are you one of
the wedding party:" asked Mr.. Fresh,
the usher. "Only the groom. bort
mind me-" replied the prospective vic.
tim.--Baltimore World.
Minnick-Well. there was one thing |
remarked about your wife the first time
| saw her-she was undoubtedly out
spoken. Henpeck-You don't say! BY
philadelphia Press
'Bridget, were you entertaining a
man in the kitchen last evening 2"
Twill, mum, thot's FIR him t. say. OF
Il,
um."-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Showing John Bull Around: And
what is this?" asked the visitor. "This
is Wall STREET. 1t is the most cele-
DRAFTED of all our American watering
places. Our Dumb Animals.
A good thing: Consulting Physician
do you think the patient can stand
an operation? Family Doctor-Can he
stand it? Why, my dear sir, the man
is millionaire.-Town Topics.
MIS-. Boerum (hopelessly)-Mortlmer
can not make Willie mind. Mr.. Doe.
rum (sternly) William, do as your
mother wishes, or will make you go
and sit in the coy corncr.-Brookly n
Eagle
The hero: "Who is the hero of this
piece?' asked the man who was com
ing out of the theater And the m;tna-
ger thoughtfully replied: THE man
who IS putting up the money."-Wash-
ington Star.
Mrs. Murphy Ito her husband, excit
edly)--Run. run for the doctor, Pat. The
child has swallowed the halfpenny YOU
gave him to play with. Mr.. Murphy
Oh. keep your mind easy, Bridget; it
was Il bad one, nyway.-Tit-Dits.
us this fast train?" asked passen-
ton 1T which the train was not sup
posed to stop. "Of course it is,' was
the guards reply. Il thought SO. Would
you mind my getting out to see what it
is fast top
Anastasia-D bury Mike, didn't
bury Tim, didn't l bury James and
Jack $50 l think, William, it would be
wiser for me not to marry again. Will
lian-Chance me, Anastasia, dear. Who
knows but the tables may be turned
this time.-Ex.
Lizzie, does yo' hab dat joyful feelin
in 70 bones OATS always de forerunner
Of 'possum for dinner:" I'm. ! never
believes we's gwine ter have 'possum
till l!ab dat joyful feeln' in my stom-
ach which is de after-runner OF habing
had him" life.
Hc lived untimely: II have often
thought Of what an unfortunate fellow
Jonah was" ''How's that:" 'Why, If
he had turned that whale trick in the
twentieth century. he'd have been in
every soap advertisement in the civiliz-
ed world" -Denver Times.
1T used to be my ambition" said the
business sman. Ito accumulate fortune
and then retire." Well" answered the
friend, haven't you realized it?' mo.
I've got the money. but don't dare re-
tire. I've got to stay awake night and
day to keep somebody from getting it
away from me-" -Washington Star.
Some of those foreign dishes On the
dinner menu were a puzzle to me- con-
tidel the First Seasick- Passenger to the
Second Seasick- Passenger. as they
stood conveniently near the rail. "Puz-
zles:" asked the Second Seasick- Pas
senger; Il guess they were, but l gave
them all up long ago" -Baltimore
American.
Il really don't know what 70 do
said the vivacious woman. ut is very
difficult to please the world VIVA:
is the ditficulty?" asked her husband
People are so unreasonable in their
comments. If you tell all you hear they
say you are a gossip, and If you don't
they say you are stupid and common
e."->Vashington Star.
Where was the battle Of Santiago
Fought" asked the teacher. We'll,
replied the wise youth. lit was begun
near Santiago, Cuba" And where
was it epded:' 1T isn't ended yet, but
it is expected that the finish will take
Mace and the final victory DC announc
ed at Washington, D. c., where the
fighting is still going on.'-Chicagc
Post.
| ::Yes,' said Farmer Corntossel. "ouI
hoy Josiah is devotin' good deal o.
time to games an light literature jes
at nresent." isn't that rather un
profitable PURSUIT. Yes. But, 30.
see. all the cabinet Offices an big dipio
matte places are filed, so reckon
| :~>sk ~