Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1901-06-04
TALES OF THE STREET. {

OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
The person that runs this column
when it don't run him-has lots of ma
terial for street stories, but when he
sees stuff that strikes the spot he
huries his pride and gives the other
fellow chance
This same person has heretofore re-
Trained from taking fling at Profes-
sor George D. Heron. One reason Is
because they are not acquainted and
another is because Webster seemed al
together adequate to do the subject
justice. However the author of the
big book, Artemus Ward, and the edi-
tor of the Chicago Record-Herald
seem to have scored and brought the
bases in with them as told in the. fol-
lowing:
That sound moralist, Artemus Ward,
would have been much interested in
the marriage of Professor George D.
Heron and Miss Carrie Rand. And
while he might approve the caution
which drove the parties to legal un.
ion in spite of their trumpeted con.
tempt for law, the principles of the
New Social Apostolate," the place
of the ceremony in the apartments of
q mental science healer who was sep
aratea from his wife and the high
faluting metaphysics of the Rev.
William Thurston Brown must all
have remined him of his famous visit
to the colony of free lovers at Berlin
Heights, Ohio.
These people, he said, were an ex-
tensive seek who believed in affinec.
| tvs and SIGH, goin' back on their do.
| nestle ties without no hesitation what
| somever. They was likewise spirit
rappers and high presher reformers on
general principles" AS to their rea-
soning powers they said the Postles
didn't wear boots and why should
they? That was their style of argy.
ment.'
Mr.. Ward was assailed by "a per-
feckly orful lookin' female" who upon
being referred to Mrs. Ward exclaim-
ed: Then thou list what the cold
world calls married?' This answer
and the ensuing dialogue followed:
Madam, l istest!'
The exsentric female then clutched me
franticly by the arm and hollered:
You air mine, O you air mine
Scarcely" ! sed, .endeverin to git loose
| from her, But she chung. to me and sed:
You air my aftinerty.'
! Upon that the Rev. Mr.. Brown
would have sweetly sighed:
We are here today to announce to the
1 world the oneness Of two human souls in /,
| love that reflects, and manlfests, and re.
produces somewhat of the essence of that
| Infinite love which swnys and animatcs
| the universe This oneness no more begins
today than God does. 1t has no beginning
and can have no end.
! The preacher is in complete accord
with the strange female who declared
to the bewildered Snowman: For
years have yearned for thee. know
ed thou vast in the world sumwhares,
tho I didn't know WHARF. My hart sed
he would cum and | took courage. He
has cum-hes here-you air hina--you
air my Affinerty.' But A. Ward was
not responsive. He preached a little
sermon which was very different
/ from Mr.. Browns, saying:
I'm n law-abidin man. and bleeve in good
old fashioned institutions. ] am marrd
and my offspring resemble me II am d
Snowman. | think your Afiinerty biZness
4 is cusscd noncents, besides bein Outrageous
Ilv wicked Why don't you behave decent
like other folks?
4 1t is the same old story today with
the same old moral and the same old