davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
COME DYIN THE AMBULANCE
A Doctors Story of n Man and IA WO-
man, Each with n Broken Leg.

"When | was an ambulance sur
clan, Il used to start like fire horse
at the sound of the call. | was just as
much interested I'm the work at the end
of two years as | was the day | began.
1t was the excitement of the life that
made me so fond of it. l had all sorts
There was an element of danger in it,
too, but that only added to the charm.
"One night had a call from the west
side in the neighborhood of Chelsea
square. 1t was for drunken man who
fell down and broke his leg. On the
way back to the hospital with him l
picked up a drunken woman to whom
similar accident had happened. There
was nothing to do but put her in the
ambulance along with the man.
"After that the ride across town was
exciting enough for cowboy. At first
the patients sympathized with each
other. Then they began to cry in cho-
rus. At Broadway they fell TO kissing
each other. At Third avenue they were
fighting like pair of Kilkenny cats,
and l had my hands full in keeping
them apart. The woman had scratch
ed the mans face dreadfully, and he
had nearly closed her eye with punch.
When we struck the asphalt in Tween
ty-sixth street, they were singing We
Have All Been There Before Many
Time and such singing! The uproar
attracted crowd who evidently
thought had an ambulance full of lu-
natics. When we reached the gate,
they swore eternal friendship, and at
the Office they parted in tears" -
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Inc anu StEtpCs 1sNts
A good American had been making
some soul stirring remarks about the
glorious star spangled banner when an
Englishman who is pretty well Ameri-
canized told a little story apropos: Il
remember once to have seen the stars
and stripes applauded uproariously on
q peculiar occasion. 1t happened many
years ago when the British flag wasn't
as popular in the United States as it is
now and party of us Englishmen
were at a theater in New York consid-
erably farther down town than thea
tiers are now to be found on Broadway.
The play was Richard |, and if you re-
member there is a scene in the play
where Richard, after putting his foes
to fight in terrific style, mounts the
walls of Acre and plants the British
colors there. Evidently the manage
ment knew the temper of the audience
and felt that even under such circum-
stances the British flag would not be a
good thing, so what did they do but
give Richard the star spangled banner,
and by all the gods, he took it with
him in the charge and planted it on
Acres walls. 1t was ridiculous, of
course, and we Englishmen laughed
but the audience took it quite as the
correct thing, and the way the people
stormed and shouted and clapped was
enough to have made Richard turn
over in his grave. Historically it was
away off. dramatically it was open to
criticism, but periodically it was a
bowling success. Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
SCHOOL ELECTION NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given to the quail
fled electors of the Audubon Indepen-
dent School District of Audubon, Ia.
That the annual election of said Inde-
pendent School District will be held
on Monday, March IL, 1901, at the
town hall in Audubon for the purpose
of electing one director for the full
term of three years and for the trans
action of such other business as can
legally be done at said meeting. The
polls will be opened at one o'clock .p.
m. and remain open until six O'Clock
p. m. Following are the estimates
for the ensuing year.
For teachers fund - 81, 800 90
For contingent fund ~ 5000. 90
Dated at Audubon, Iowa, February
81, 1901. w. H. O'Connell, President;
II. G. Rice, Secretary. 9-2w
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
The Benefit of the Doubt.

Not long ago young lady was
spending some weeks at a Scotch
country house, and just before dinner
one evening two cousins of the host
one Of them the great man of the fam
ily-arrived Unexpectedly. Shortly be-
fore dinner was announced the but
Ter sought the young lady and said to
her confidentially:
Were putin on yesterdays soup, an
for fear there shouldna be enough, We
maun decline"
Decline soup" exclaimed the young
lady, much amused. But, you know,
John, that wouldn't be manners"
Ma" said John coolly; but they'll
think We ken nae better."-London Tit
Bits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
Things washington Never Saw.

1t is hard to make it seem true that
Washington, jefferson, Franklin and
the fathers of the republic never saw a
railroad or telegraph line or a sewing
machine or Il photograph or typewit-
err or a rubber band or shoe or piano
or a stem winding watch or cyclope-
dia or a dictionary or chrome or a
steel engraving or a friction match or
a beating stove or furnace or gas or
or an electric light or fire engine or a
thousand and one other things COM
mon to every one today.-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Smith, suppose Dobber regards
himself the greatest artist that ever
handled brush.
Jones-You do Dobber an injustice.
He never presumed to regard himself
in any such light. Why, have heard
him say very modestly that he was a
second Raphael. Isn't that admitting
that Raphael was IA greater painter
than HIMSELF Boston Transcript.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
Weir Mitchell and Whitman.

10 DR.. Weir Mitchelfs book a pleas
ant story or two is told of Walt Whit
man, the writer, to whom some would
deny the name Of poet, while others re-
gard him as one of the greatest OF all
poets. One of the characters in the
story of "Dr. North and His Friends
says that Whitman was eaten up by
his own vanity, regarding everything
he did as of such supreme value that
he had lost all power of self criticism
and could not tell good from bad or in
different. Once he was asked if he
thought Shakespeare as great poet as
himself. He replied that he had often
thought of that but had never been
able to come TO a decision.
He went TO a physician upon an oc-
casion, thinking himself seriously out
OF health. When he learned that his
ailment, whatever it was, could be
treated best by living as much as pos
sible out of doors without dosing with
medicine, he was leaving in all good
humor when he bethOught himself of
the physicians fee. How much will
it be?" he inquired. The debt was
paid long ago." said the doctor, who
knew and liked his writings. "It is
you who are still the creditor" Whit
man thanked him and went out. An
rUther patient, a lady, had taken his
place when he returned, put his two
great hands on the table opposite his
medical adviser-he had not stopped to
knock or announce himself-and said,
"That, sir, call poetry"
The lady was scandalized by his
abrupt appearance and demeanOr and
asked as soon as the writer had gone
for the second time, SIS the gentleman
insane" but, learning his identity, she
wished he had asked for his autograph.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
A Grand Memory,

A highland girl, who had been in
service in Dundee and had gone to a
place farther south, called upon her
old mistress on her way north to visit
her friends.
She was invited to take dinner with
the family, and her master asked a
blessing on the meal as usual, when
the girl said:
MY. master. We maup haze n gram
memory. That's the grace We said
when was here sax years syne."-
London Telegraph.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
The Real Trouble.

Mrs, De Style docking from her pa
per,-The idea. ! told that reporter
not to mention my name in connection
with the Glugore's reception, and yet
he's done it. I'll just 20 down to that
newspaper office tomorrow and see
about this.
Mr.. De Style-Oh. wouldn't pay
any attention to it. my dear.
Mrs. De Style wouldn't. but they
have got my name spelled wrong
Philadelphia Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
Not pisnosea TO pisnute,

Aunt Hannah-Oh, you fool Of a girl!
Just because man tells you you are
the prettiest woman In the world and
the wisest and sweetest you believe
him.
Arabella-And why shouldn't l? Do
you know, aunty. l kind err think so
myself, Boston Transcript.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
Suited Him.

Railway Official (traveling incog. on
his own line)-They say there has been
some fault found with the lamps on
these trains. Do you see anything
wrong with them?
rassenger-No, sir. On the con-
trary. they are exactly the kind Of
lamps like to see used.
Railway Official (highly pleased
Fassenger-Yes. sir. l am an ocu-
list. London Fun
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
Would Like some,

What do you find in that stupid old
paper to keep you so busy" petulantly
asked Mrs. YOungcouple.
II was just looking at the money
market" he answered.
"Oh, do they have a money market?
Are there ever any bargains" INDIAN
apolls Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
The Second Need.

Stockman = You remember that
pointer you gave me on the street
yesterday?
BOnds-Yes. What about it?
Stockman-Why, | tried it, and as a
consequence I've come around to see If
you couldn't let me have a retriever
Richmond Dispatch.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Travellers say the hotels of Cairo,
Egypt, are the best in the world. They
are as good as the best continental ho-
tells, better than the best American no.
tells and extremely better than the
fashionable London hostelries.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

I'm thinking about that ledger of
ours" the landlord remarked to his
wife
"About what?
"He pays his rent so punctually !
think I'd better raise it on him.
Philadelphia Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Auditor Greenwaldt attended the
state convention of auditors at Des
Moines last week. He was placed on the
Legislative committee and was otherwise
useful to the convention.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Joseph Mclaughlin, former resident
of this county but now of Pawnee, o. t.,
arrived in the city the latter part of last
week for visit with bis daughter, Mrs,
John Gatas
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Jackson-What time do you wake up
IN the morning usually?
Jimson-Four o'clock.
"Great snakes! Why so cariy?"
II board at a hotel, and that's the
hour the man in the next room goes to
bed. New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

"Giye us proof of your boosted wis.,
DOM" cried lot of chattering magpies
20 the owl
81 will" he said and few away
Philadelphia Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

1t is doubtful If any other fruit could
be found at once so common. cheap
and delicious as dates. They are most
healthful and excellent for children.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Petroleum occurs In Algeria, and at
Oran there is a tract 100 miles in
length that is said to be exceedingly
rich in petroleum.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Mr.. and Mrs VIM Cochran and child
rem left Monday for their new home in
Cass county. The good wishes of their
friends follow them
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

In every home there is trouble Sun
day morning in finding the mans clean.
underwear. Globe.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Tom Davis will move from the poor
farm to his home, formerly the Repass
property, this week, and r.. N. Carper
will become steward
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

ea"Forty and half" sung out the cut
ter of a Chestnut street tailoring firm
~ts he passed the tape across, a custom
er's chest. Thirty-eight was registered
when the measure girded the custom
er's waist, and then the cutter stepped
back and sized up the patrons height
as compared with that of the salesman
who was. recording the measurements.
gAYour weight is 165 pounds" he
ssaid. ssl+~@~Si = e. l=1a7stH.E 20. ..aHi.
zone sixty-seven," spoke up the man
who was being measured for a coat
"How did you guess itT
"No guesswork about it. | simply
compared your height with that of the
salesman here, who is feet s inches
tall. You are about two inches taller,
gor, say, feet 10 inches. With chest
and waist measurements and mans
i.height figured out can come within. a
pound or two of his weight every time,
as my close estimate of your avOirdu-
pois proves. OF course there are eX-
iception5, notably the man with the
very slim waist and wide shoulders,
who Is invariably much lighter in build
than his appearance and measurements
indicate. In that case drop about ten
pounds from my figures and manage to
come pretty near the mark. "-Philadel-
phia Record. "a a,"t.r "F
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

"Then you are not ashamed Of your
humble origin" "
"Oh, no; it's part Of my political
capital."-Chicago Record.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
Letting Wen Enough Alone

Mr.. Meeke-There's an error in this
plumbers bin, but ! guess ! won't say
anything about it.
Mrs. Meeke- Why?
Mr.. Meeke- He might charge me for
making the correction Brooklyn Life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Abe Anderson returned from Okla
homa Tuesday where he had been to
look at the country. While there he
purchased 800 acres Of land.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Rev. Loomis will occupy the pulpit at
the NJ. E. church in this city next Sun
day morning and evening, Rev. Matheny
holding quarterly meeting at the coun
try appointments for Mr. Loomis
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

AL Friend was called to Creston Satur-
day because of the sickness OF his mother.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28
FINANCIAL REPORT.

Following is the report of the secretary
for the year ending Feb Is 1901
Balance on hand Feb, y. 1900, BIG
Received from county treas. h59070
Tuition --------.-----.----.-.- 5iS35
Paid teachers 523), 90
Balance on hand Feb o. lD1i---.-- .-.---l3D6. |
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

A. II. Hersman went down to Extra
Monday to embalm the the body Of Chas.
Winchell and prepare it for shipment.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Miss Manda Anderson, of Atlantic.
visited over Sunday at her parental home
near this city.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

On the eve Of Feb. % about thirty
members of the Audubon Rebekah lodge
of this place gave complete surprise
party to Mr.. and Mrs. j. j. Esbeck who
will soon move to Kimballton, their flu
ture home. The surprise was an effec-
tual one, as it was previously arranged
that Mr.. and Mrs Esbeck be invited to
spend the evening at one Of their neigh
bors, that the Reb, kahs would have the
opportunity, unnoticed, to take posses
sion Of their coy home, which they did
in fine shape, After getting the neces.
sary arrangements completed Mr.. and
Mrs Esbeck were called home The
scene at their arrival can be better i'm
agined than described. Miss A uda Kelly
in behalf Of the lodge, with few well
chosen and very appropriate remarks,
presented Mrs. Esbeck with silver
fruit dish. Refreshments were served
and very pleasant social time, inter-
miogled with both vocal and instru-
mental music, was enjoyed by all present.
The Rebekahs' took their departure at
late hour, wishing Mr.. and Mr.. Esbeck
happiness and prosperity in their new
home and surroundings.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

H. b. Wilson went to Gray Monday to
see his son-in-law, Frank Corner, who
was hurt in run away.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Mrs. o. 1. Lane went down to Des
Moines Tuesday with her daughter,
who will learn the spring styles of mil
linery
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Miss Daisy Anderson was sick the
first of the week and was unable to teach
b VI school,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Miss Amber Kelsey was up from Extra
the first OF the week visiting with her
friends.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Miss George McIlvain went to Des
Moines Saturday to visit her sister, Miss
Cora
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

The life OF an Australian native
rarely exceeds so years.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Like bad dollars, all connterfeits of
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Silye are worth
less. The original quickly cures piles,
sores and all skin diseases. +. Prick
4 Son.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

VIM. Doak is the new proprietor OF
Doak meat market having purchased 1t
from John.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Bal on hand Feb 2s 1900 - 1890 20
Received from co treas -----.--3l.00
Paid interest on bonds --s...------.-----i0 400 90
Express and Exchange ON Vouchers .---. 30
Balance on hand Feb. .. 1901 . 293O. 30
333l.20 1881 20
Respectfully submitted this 25th day of
February, A. ID. 1901. Il. G. Rice, Sec'y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

The dignided dame. was not really
English, but she had mastered the dia-
lect to some extent.
"My nevvew 'Erbert," she said
wants to marry schoolteacher!
Fawncy! A person who works for a
living! To be sure, now that think of
it, that is not always a disgrace. You.
my dear, write for the press now and
then. am told, but you don't ave to,
you know. That is different"
Yes" replied the young person to
whom she was speaking, but may be
said to have inherited a tendency to
work. My father and grandfather both
worked for a living, and they were not
allowed even the luxury. of a chair to
sit on. They worked on benches"
Dear me~ exclaimed the dignifed
dame, greatly shocked. what did they
--ah-work atY
"Well, my father was judge of the
superior court, and my grandfather
was one of the justices OF the United
States supreme court."-Chlcago Trib-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

The Abyssinian warriors always
honor their king by a band escort of
As trumpets wherever he goes.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1901-02-28

Chas. Hoss, Of Extra, was a business
caller in our city Tuesday.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-16
GIANTS To MEET 1t MADISON

conference of the athletic boards of the
two universities Mueller will not play in
tomorrow's game. Either Grant OF
Strathcorn will be played at right guard
Rogers declares that ali charges made
against him are without foundation.
Fifteen of the Minnesota players came
in from Sun Prairie tonight to remain
in town Until the game. They report
the team in excellent condition, cheerful
and confident. The team went through
light signal practice and their work was
fast and sure.
Fl. w. Cochem, the famous ex-Badger,
is here for the game. All he would say
was: 1T seems likely that both teams
viii score
The Minnesotars viii average 1SS
pounds, the Badgers 179.
From reports received from the eXcur-
sion trains now on the way to Madison
the railroads estimate that between IS, 090
and 10000 people viii pour in here in the
morning. The total seating capacity Of
Randall field is l., SIS, which means that
the receipts will be over s25, 600. The field
is in perfect condition and weather con-
ditions promise to be equally favorable.
Phil Kings final send-om to the rooters
was as follows: when they meet the
GoPhers, giants in weights but lilipu-
tians In sand, they will make them think
before the game is over that they are
reciting to the professors on their town
university by long-distance telephone"
1t is rumered here tonight that Wis
consin is playing foxy game on the
betting proposition. Minnesotans have
been baffied in every attempt to get their
money up, and they declare their belief
that Wisconsin is sure of an easy vic
tory and wants to work the Gopher bet
tors for big odds and a grand haul
The general situation does not seem to
bear out this idea. One Madisenian said
tonight: L regret TO think it, but l am
forced to conclude that fer the first time
IN its history Wisconsin is quitting. .
This seems the more plausible explana-
fion
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-16
HEARD IN ST. PAUL
LOCAL SPORTS WE'RE NOT WfLDL Y
ENTHUSIASTIC.

There was not great deal of enthu-
siasm in local sporting circles over the
Jeffries- Rubin fight last night and as
near as could be learned by visiting the
resorts patronized by the fraternity -
not great deal of money changed
hands.
There are always the small bets among
those who are just on the outside of the
ring, but there were few heavy wagers
among the talent. AT a resort in Fifth
street where the sports are wont to
congregate it was impossible yesterday to
place 500 on Rubin, at / to q that had
been left by local sporting man. About
SIS of 1t had been taken before the biz
fight came on, and as the operator arose
to read the results of the preliminariee
he announced that there was still a
small amount of Rubin money at the
above named odds, but none of the JEFF
rieS men was there to take it up.
Jeffries was, of course, the favorite
with the crowd, and the announcement
that Rubin was beaten brought down
bitter comment upon him. On every side
it was freely stated that he was dead
one and his statement after the fight
was received with jeers, while the 21en.
ton of Jeffries' name brought forth a
little mild applause.
The game seems to be dying out in this
section of the country, and there was
a prevalent opinion around town, freely
expressed, that the fight was not on the
square, and simply arranged with regard
to gate receipts and the picture men. 1t
is safe TO say that not more than 81 900
of local money changed hands over the
event
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-11-16

the rooter as he pulled his head back
into the car Fellows, Mueller won t
be in the game
The word was passed from car to car.
For moment the roofing stopped. The
rah, rah, rahs died out and the sup
porters of the maroon and gold looked
at each other in silence.
Wen do them up without Mueller,
declared a square jawed youth.
well do them up without Mueller,
repeated the other occupants of the car.
Wen do them up without Mueller, .
echoed the second car, and back down
the train went the declaration of things
to be started
'tWe'H do them up without Mueller, .
shouted the entire trainload, and then
the rooter captain in the front car
started the rah, rah rah, the other cars
took up -theve chant and out into the dark
night went the noise that promised TO
keep going until Madison is reached.