The Honolulu republican. [volume] (Honolulu, T.H.) 1900-1902, 1901-08-04

their hats as they pass the theatre
Il the box ofsce man up against Il
But al ghe time. At ali Seasons ard
AZ all hours. L Whistles 3 iugubricns
tune around ny ears
The architects who lay oas thea-
tres must be, IN ny opinion. band o.
zssessgns intent upon Uipzng OF the
earth the humble race Of box 0fEce
men, for every theatre Is built Just
such q way as 70 produce the greatest
amount Of draft IN the box once.
IN ever other part Of the building
comforts mul1iply With the passing
years. bat the box Once remains the
sane as II was in the old Drury Lane.
Not even an attempt Is made at pro-
gTess Ia this direction. nor ever VIII
be- The draft We have always with
rs The sign which hangs in every
box ONCE. NO checks casAed, might
very well be changed to read No
drafts checked"
But while that mar all be endured
By philosophic man. who may con-
sole himself with the reflection that
It cannot be cured. the other things
which call into being this kick are
not so easily swallowed, as most Of
them have 10 do with the great pub
lie and could be cured as easily as
not II only tneatregoers would lend
hand. One of the first things 70 be
learned in this connection By the pub
lie is that the number of seats on the
aIsles is limited, For some inscruta
bic reason the builders of theatres
have always failed TO place all the
seats on the aisle. and for some other
inscrutable reason everyone seems
&c think that the man in the box
Office is responsible for this grave er
ror Of construction. They come up TO
the window with blithe air and a
81 bin and. shaping the bill down
before the ticket seller and keeping
the blithe air for their own personal
use. they cay:
Give me seat on the aisle, please.
about six rows back"
There are no more aisle seats for
tonight says the polite and patient
box Office man He knows what is
coming. but he goes to his fate like
little man.
mo aisle seats? ~ says the public.
tossing the blithe air into the back
part OF the lobby and adopting a
belligerent attitude in minute.
why. what do you mean?"
Il say the aisle seats are all sold
for tonight's performance" explained
the man in the box Office.
We'll. that's mighty funny" says
the public. The box Office man says
nothing. 1t isn't his turn. After few
seconds. during which the public
~. 4of- s.crf1
assured that he was keeping half
dozen aisle up his sleeve for his
friends, the public says:
Haven't you got one any place."
Not one" says the man in the box
office. showing out the diagram of the
house. I've got some nice seats right
In here, close up in front and only
in two seats from the aisle"
20. | don't want to be climbing
over people to get to my seat" says
the purohaser-elect in an injured tone.
Never mind, I'll come some other
night
Better get your seats now for what
ever night you want to come, sug-
gests the box Office man. were hay
ing a big advance sale. .
30, that's all right retorts the
public. Il guess | won't have any
trouble" And then he goes away,
notwithstanding that he has just had
trouble and may have plenty more
when he comes again.
Il don't like TO say anything against
the ladies'. It is no good way to do,
and. besides, my wife may see this liz
the paper and ask me few hard boil
ed questions about it But while the
present mood is upon me I'm willing
to so the limit. and, from the stand
point of the man in the box office,
women are certainly the limit. The
average woman when she stands in
front of the opening through which
| am slowly being murdered acts as
If she never before went to theatre,
knew nothing whatever about the way
the seats are arranged and had not
the least idea where she would like
to sit She looks at the diagram as
IL il we're some strange and rare OBJ
ieet OF interest dug up in the ruins
OF Herculaneum. and, after gazing at
il for I'VE minues while 2S people in
line behind her are changing feet and
wondering If she will ever get
through. she says:
81 don't know anything about this
Where would this be from the
boxes" placing her finger on spot
under the balcony. Then / patiently
explain the relative positions of every
thing in the house, including the
scene painter and the manager. and
she thinks ii ali over. selects two
seats and lays down 81
Three dollars. please, | say in
PARKWAY tone, reaching for the &c
kets at the same time.
Three dollarss~ she shrieks. why
my cousin came to this same play
last week and she only paid SO cents
for each seat
We have them for 80 cents If that's
what you want. say. stiIi patient.
but these orchestra sests are $3.50
each
well. what do ron think OF that -
she asks. never reply. because If
I did she would report me to the
manager. She finally buys two so
cent seats and goes away. Ia the
meantime Il people who were IN the
tine have decided 10 80 to vaudeville
show instead Of waiting there all
day
These are soma Of the things which
make nae break oYer nv ueusl efsf