davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1901-04-04

Among the public servants who are
worried by foolish questions the super
intendent Of mails in the postoftice gets
his full share. One Of his visitors on
q certain occasion was man who said
to the deputy who answered the call
at the window:
81 am going out Of town today and
want to get letter to my brother, who
is on board the Majestic. and she is
not due until Wednesday. don't
know where he will stay in New York
or where he will go from here. Can
you help me?"
"Certainly we can" said the clerk.
"a mailboat goes to meet the steamer.
and If you address your letter properly
and put domestic postage on it it will
be delivered all right"
"But how shall address it-where
shall l send it?''
Address it John Smith. passenger
on board incoming steamer Majestic,
due in New York. Dec. ~ That will
reach him."
mo city? No nothing?
'"That's adjust as | told you"
The man thanked the clerk and went
away. and came back little later with
an addressed letter in his hand.
Say" he said to the clerk, "about
stamped it all right. but the mans
name isn't John Smith. How about
thatY'-New York Tribune.
The Press., 1901-04-04
Was Ready to COmprOm ise.

A very small pile Of cCal lay on the
sidewalk in front If Il house on A street
| southeast. CORE spondingly small
son of Ham was sauntering along and,
seeing it, scented Al job. He rang the
doorbell.
Am dat yo' alrs coal?' he asked
the lady at the door.
YES
"Want it toted in:"
"Yes.'
"kain't git de job:"
'Why. you're pretty small. and then
you might charge too much. You might
ask more than | could pay
"BOw much is yo' got?' asked the
small man of business. kin yo' raise
| a dollahY'
'Oh. my goodness, nor
"Seventy-five centsY
"No; run along and don't bother me"
And she started to close the door.
"Mebbe so yo'n glib so cents"
mo, no; run along"
II reckons yo' all amt got er qua
tah?"
mo"
"Ner a dime?'
mo, not even a dime," replied the
woman, beginning to laugh.
"Well, how much is yo' gotT' Ques-
toned Ham, showing his worries. II
| sut'nly does wanter git de job"
"I've got just nickel"
"Well, I'm jus a-lookin fer nickel
jobs" And he straightway began
Washington Star.
The Press., 1901-04-04

1t may not be generally known that
it is considered serious offense for q
German soldier, no matter what may
be his rank. to appear in public except
in uniform, even though he be on fur.
Tough. The army regulations strictly
enjoin that he must always wear his
uniform.
A certain Lieutenant Schmidt, who
WIS engaged in some lively adventure
Or other. dressed Up as u civilian and
was having altoget her@an enjoyable
time until, on turning corner, he un-
expectedly met his colonel.
The lieutenant did not, however. lose
his presence of mind. He pretended
that he had never seen his colonel be-
fore and in changed voice asked:
Can you tell me, sir, where Lieuten-
ant Schmidt lives? | am his brother
from the country and am paying. him a
little visit. but l happen just now to
have lost my way"
The colonel quietly gave the desired
information. and Lieutenant Schmidt,
congratulating himself on his lucky es-
cape. hurried home and put on his uni
form with all possible speed.
He thought. Of course. that he had
taken in his superior officer. but such
an idea was rudely dispelled when on
the next day he met his colonel, and
the latter said:
"Lieutenant Schmidt. If your brother
from the country pays you another Wis.,
it I'll have him placed in close confine-
ment for 30 days.
The Press., 1901-04-04

Mr.. Penley. otherwise Charley's Aunt.
told the following: "A military man. Il
friend of Mr.. Penley. took his daugh-
ter to the stalls and. having busy and
firing day. went calmly to sleep in his
easy seat during the interval between
the curtain raiser and 'Charley's Aunt
The daughter mpathetically allowed
him to remain in peace until the cur
tain went up for the commencement of
the play of the evening: then she gen
tly nudged him In the ribs and whis-
pered 'Charley's Aunt!' to remind him
of his whereabouts
"The gentleman still slept on. and
his daughter tried again. She gave
her father an extra push and murmur-
ed, with emphasis: Papa. do wake up!
"Charley's Aunt!''
''This time 1t was effectual. for the
colonel leaped to his feet and cried.
Bless me. so it isl and began to shake
hands furiously with demure old lady
who happened to be passing along the
stalls in front Of him Gin the way to her
allotted seat. Bless me- SO it is! How
do you do. madam! And how is Char
ley Y"-London Answers.
The Press., 1901-04-04

There is not an actor, an actress, q
vocalist or other public performer, in
Guiding the politician, but must be in
terested In the hiss and it's origin.
DIR. Ainslie Hollis in The Humahi-
tartan tells. under the title Of Before
Babel" of his researches as to the pre-
vailing language before the confusion
Of tongues"
Referring to the aforesaid awesome
word, he writes: perhaps the sibilant
So (st, is, sh) is one of the oldest sounds
in animated nature, as it undoubtedly
is one Of the simplest to produce.
'Vocalized in the English hiss (hist,
hush) we find the pure sibilant adopted
by beasts, birds and reptiles as an ex-
pressive Of the warning in times of
stress.
Even the crustacean cirrhipeds can
produce the sound, when there is an
adjacent source Of danger although
they are not supplied with a proper vo-
cal apparatus.
Besides acting as a warning not to
its own kith, some predatory animals,
as, for instance, some Of the smaller
carnivora and certain snakes. utter
the sound in a minatory manner to
ward off Objectionable intruders from
their lair.
Equivalent In the former case to the
expressions Keep quiet Stand STILL
a hiss is construed In it's more widely
known sense among animals of differ
ent species as Come forward at your
peril impressing visitor in search of
hospitality much in the same way as
did the legend Cave canem,' on the
threshold of Roman mansion"
The paragraph concludes sagely: "Our
English hiss is mainly restricted to the
use Of dissatisfied playgoers. The
sound here retains it's primitive mean
ing-a warning note"
The Press., 1901-04-04

From various causes. such as anger
and fear. many animals eat their own
flesh Rats. when caught in a trap by
the leg, will gnaw off the captured
member. and mice in captivity have
been known to bite off their tails. But
there are some creatures which go
much further and actually eat parts of
themselves if left for too long a period
without food.
hyena belonging to menagerie
was kept by the proprietor without
food in order to tame it. One morning
be was Mortified to find that the fero-
cious creature had actually eaten part
Of it's own leg
An eagle in the ZOO a few years ago
was noted for the fact that II would
now and then pick pieces Of flesh out
of it's own legs and eat them.
Certain caterpillars and toads devour
their cast off skin. This may be due
TO fear. but 1t looks like economy.
There is just trace of this charac-
teriStic in human beings. Children
when in rage sometimes bite their own
hands and arms. although ii must be
admitted that they desiSt when it be-
gins to hurt.
The Press., 1901-04-04
Love nud Tl,rtft

The late Professor Shuttleworth of
London was particularly fond Of telling
how. when he once acted as locum
tenens in DavunShire. he had to pro-
claim the Eanns of marriage of Il
young yokel and "a village n,aid. A
fortnight later the young swa u called
at the professors lodgings.
You put up the hanns for me-" he
said
Eyes. remember replied Mr..
Shuttleworth.
"Well." inquired the yokel. has it
got to go on?''
What do you mcan?" asked the pro.
fessor. Are you tired CT the grip
NO" was the unexpected answer,
but like her sister better
"Oh. If the orig.na girl doesn't mind.
you can marry her sister,"
But should have to be called
again?"
Certainly. that's necessary" an
swered Mr. Shuttleworth.
"But should have to pay again?''
Eyes. it would cost you three and six.
pence"
ooh. would it?" rcjoined the yokel
after reflection. Then I'll let 1t re-
main as it is" And he did.-Londou
TELEGRAPH
The Press., 1901-04-04

"Do YOU SEE THAT BOY SITTING ON THE
CHEST ?"
train brought it past our station, where
it rested for a day and then moved
on. In a defile Is miles to the north
of us it was ambushed by over a thou
sand dacoits and suffered a severe
misfortune There was not only q
heavy loss in killed and wounded, but
the treasure and a portion of the sup
plies We're captured and run off.
The remnant of the train returned
to us and went into car p until re-en-
forcements could come up. and the
bullet headed, tyrannical Colonel KEN
BILE, whose obstinacy and recklessness
had brought about the disaster, pro-
ceeded to make it redhOt for every
body. Any set of men except British
soldiers would have mutinied and
taken his life. Raging over his de-
feat and feeling his helplessness, he or
dered out detachments and command
ed them to bring in every native they
could overhaul. 1t was a well populat-
ed country. with hundreds Of loyal ma
tives to be picked up. but the colonel
proceeded to look upon each and every
one as guilty Of having had a hand
in the attack on the train. More than
a score were shot or hung offhand,
while others were whipped at the post
or ordered out of the district 1t was
a reign of terror for three weeks, and
the end was fitting one.
Ny own detachment one day brought
In a mere boy whom we had found
covering in a thjcket. do not believe
he had the slightest knowledge of the
ambush or took any part in it. He was
a timid lad. whose father had been one
Of the first ones hung. and he was SO
frightened that but little could be got
out of him. The colonel bulldozed and
The Press., 1901-04-04
BURIED THOUGHTS.

How often dues the chopper OF some stona,
While toiling at his task OF heave and shock.
Find in the heart space of a severed rock
The impress Of some fen that once had grown,
Full Of aspiring life and color tone,
Deep in the forest where the shadows flock,
Till, caught within the adamantine block,
It lay for ages hidden and unknown!
So many q beauteous thought blooms in the mind,
But unexpressed, droops down into the soul
And lies unuttered in the silence there
Until some opener Of the soul shall and
That fernlike, fossiled dream complete and whole
And marvel at its beauty past compared
Alfred s. Donaldson in Outlook.
The Press., 1901-04-04

Items OF local interest taken from the column
OF The Press, thirty years ago.l
April 6, 1871.

L. G. Winter has bought j. Glover's
interest In the block just erected by
Glover & Winter.
Alvin ElIithorpe has sold his farm in
West Stafford, the John L. Fai man place,
TO Cyrus Edison for So 600.
w. d. Head has bought half interest
In the lot OH Main street lately bought by
John Brown, and will join with Mr. B. In
the erection OF the proposed new build
ing. The plan has been altered so that
the lower story will extend eight feet
further back than first proposed.
A horse, buggy and harness was stolen
from the stable of Lathrop Manning In
Wilmington last Thursday night. The
thief is Frenchman and gives the name
Of James White. He seems to have gone
around through Union to West Stafford,
bringing up at the residence of William
Cummings, where he stayed all night and
snapped his horse, worth $500, for a
poorer one getting 80 besides. Next day
he sold the second one at Monson fol-
$40. He remained In Monson over Sun.
day. Mr.. Manning heard Of his horse
and recovered it on Monday, and the
thief was the same day arrested In Spring
field, all the stolen property and the cash
being recovered by the several rites
White was brought to Stafford, and on
Tuesday, while being conveyed to Tolland
by Sheriff Winter, suddenly sprang from
the buggy near Buff Cap, in Tolland, and
used his legs so well that he haa not since
been caught. In all his movements pre-.
vious to that he seemed to lack ordinary
Intelligence, which fact threw his captors
off their guard, and lessened the amount
of caution used.
BoRN.-ln Stafford Springs, March g.
1871, son to Fred Mercer; March 8. a
son to Nelson Gilman.
MARRIAGES. - In Rockville, April s.
1871, o. s. Palmer Of Rockville, and
Emma T. Ely of Windermer
Coventry, March 20, by Rev. NJ. c.
WEIGH, Henry Pollard of Mansfield, anG
Sophia j. Dmock of Coventry.
The Press., 1901-04-04
The Duty
Of Mothers.

What suffering frequently results
from mothers ignorance or more
frequently from mothers neglect to
properly instruct her daughter
Tradition says woman must suf-
fer" and young women are SO taught.
There is little truth and great deal
of exaggeration in this. If young
woman suffers severely she needs treat
ment, and her mother should see that
she gets it.
Many mothers hesitate to take their
daughters to physician for examina-
ton but no mother need hesitate to
write freely about her daughter or
herself to Mrs Pinkham's Laboratory
at Lynn, Mass, and secure from a
woman the most efficient advice with
out charge
The Press., 1901-04-04

Mrs. August Pfalzgraf, of South
Byron, Wis, mother of the young lady
whose portrait we here publish, wrote
in January, 1899. saying her daughter
had suffered for two years with irreg-
ular menstruation had headache all
the time, and pain in her side feet
swelled. and was generally miserable.
She received an answer promptly with
advice, and under date Of March. 1890,
the mother writes again that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound cured
her daughter of all pains and irregu-
larity.
Nothing in the worll equals Lydia z.
Pinkham's great medicine for regu-
lating woman's peculiar monthly
troubles.
The Press., 1901-04-04

The 3-year-Old son of q fiat dweller
who had heard his father complain oc
casionally because the janitor wa.
drunk and lin no condition to attent
to his work." went to the fat above
his own last week and rang the bell
When Mrs. Blank answered 1t, the
young man said:
"Please. Mrs. Blank. can't your little
girl come down and play with me"
Not today" said Mrs. Blank: "she
is in no condition to play"
whats the matter?' asked the boy
anxiouSly rs she drunk ?"-New Yorl
Sun.
The Press., 1901-04-04

Washed down telegraph line which
Chas. G.. Ellis, of Lisbon, Ia, had to re-
pair. standing waist deep In Icy water,
he writes. "gave me terrible cold ant
cough. It grew worse daily. Finally the
best doctors In Oakland, NIB. Sioux
City and Omaha said had Consumption
and could not live. Then l began using
DIR. Kings New Discovery and was wholly
cured by six bottles" Positively guar
anteed for Coughs, Colds and all Throa,
and Lung troubles by A. G. Eaton. Price
Soc
The Press., 1901-04-04

OF course il was a MiSSourian. one
OF the "you'vegOt-to-show me" type,
who remarked to Il companion as they
examined with aweStruck interest a
picture IN which there was seen the
faces of all the presidents of the Init
ed"States. SAY Bill how in ihuE.!rl
did the photograph man ever get th"n'
men all together AT 0ncrt =" Eansa~
City Journal
The Press., 1901-04-04

Poet-l left a poem here the other
day. Do you think you can use it?
Editor have already. 1t came in
so handy. simply had to.
Poet (gasping joyfully'-Ah!
Editor-While | was writing my last
editorial | ran out of copy paper; your
poem. being written Oil one side Of the
paper only. just helped me out
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Press., 1901-04-04
PALE WOMEN
A BI00dless Face In
dieates Trouble.
Watary Blood a Menace
to Health.
WE KNOW HOW PALE
PEOPLE CAN GET RICH
RED BLOOD.
COME AND LET US TELL YOU
ABOUT VlN0L.

When blood is watery and thin, or,
"a doctors would say, lacks red blood
corpuscles, it is sign that much is rad
ically wrong.
We would advise everyone who has
such symptoms to start at once to
take q proper remedy to overcome this
trouble.
That remedy In Vinol, the greatest
and most modern tonic and rebuilder.
Vinol owes its virtue to the fact that
IL contains in q highly concentrated
state the active curative principles ex-
tracted from Gods Gvers, the same ele-
ments that have made cod-liver oil
famous for wasting diseases.
These medicinal elements are dis
solved in q delicious table wine SO that
Vinol In most palatable.
None Of the vile-smelling obnoxious
grease that characterizes cod-liver oil
and frequently makes it an impossible
remedy for those who should take it,
IL found in Vinol.
where Vinol has done good and re-
stored the roses Of health to the pale
sheeks Of the sufferer.
The following Is fair sample Of the
way people write in regard to Vinol:
'sFor several months I suffered lassi-
tude and tired all the time. Also q
sinking feeling in my stomach, which
nothing would relieve, and was pale
and weak. As an experiment tried
Vinol and II I wrote pages could not
tell all it has done for me."-MRs. A.
z La PBUscH, Amesbury, Mass.
Because we know Vinol so well,
and because we know so surely
what 1t will do, and how it will
accomplish the good it does in a
scientific way, we unreservedly en-
dorse and recommend 1t, and in
every instance guarantee to refund
to any one what they pay us for
Vinol II they do not find it entirely
satisfactory.
The Press., 1901-04-04

"Last winter was confined to my bed
with very bad cold on the lungs. Moth
ing gave me relief. Finally my wife
bought a bottle of One Minute Cough
Cure that effected speedy cure. ] can
not speak too highly Of that excellent
remedy T. X. Houseman, Mana
tawney, Pa w. d. Heald.
The Press., 1901-04-04

You cannot enjoy perfect health rosy
cheeks and sparkling eyes II your liver q
sluggish and your bowels clogged. De-
Wits Little Early Risers cleanse t. g
whole system. They never grippe. w.
d. Heald,
The Press., 1901-04-04

Skin troubles, cuts, burns, scalds and
chatting quickly heal by the use of De-
Wits Witch Hazel Salve. 1t Is initiated.
Be sure you get DeWitt's. w. d. Head.
The Press., 1901-04-04

THE BEST REMEDY FOR RHEUMATISM
Quick relief from pain.-All who use
Chamberlain's Pain Balm for rheumatism
are delighted with the quick relief from
pain which it affords. When speaking Of
this Mr.. ID. N. Sinks, Of Troy, Ohio
says: "Some time ago I had severe
attack Of rheumatism la my arm and
shoulder. I tried numerous remedies,
but got no relief until was recommend
ed by Messrs. Geo. F. Parsons & Co.,
druggists of this place, to try Chamber.
lain's Pain Balm. They recommended II
SO highly that bought bottle. I soGs
soon selieued Of all pain. have since rec
commended this liniment to many of my
friends, who agree with me that 1t Is the
best remedy for muscular rheumatism In
the market
For sale by Il. K. Taft, Stafford Springs
FL. r. Cady, Stafford; Gardiner Hall, Jr.
& Co., South Wilmington
The Press., 1901-04-04

A Denver man has meerschaum pipe
200 years old.
The Press., 1901-04-04

When Edward VII as Prince Of Wales
visited America in 1860, Canada went
wild over him. and In Detroit and
Chicago the crowds were SO dense
that the party could scarcely reach
their hotel So many were the recep.
tons, dinners and other social func-
tons In which the prince participated
that he finally broke down through
sheer fatigue and Overexcitement. The
Duke Of Newcastle, who was the
princes companion, decided, therefore,
to stop of on their way to st. Louis at
Dwight Station, a quiet village famous
for its shooting. The prince brought
down a bag Of IA brace of quail and
four rabbits. But the pleasure Of the
day was marred by the following Incl.
dent:
AS the royal party approached a
farmhouse an Enthusiastically British
settler appeared Mt the door and invited
every one except the Duke Of Newcas-
tie to enter.
"Not you. Newcastle!" he shouted. II
have been a tenant Of yours and have
sworn that you shall never set a foot
on my land" .....
Accordingly the party passed on, and
the farmer, though revenged on his old
landlord, had to forego the honor Of en-.
tertaining royalty under his roof.
The Press., 1901-04-04

You will waste time II you try to cure
indigestion or dyspepsia by starving your
self. That only makes 1t worse when you
do eat heartily. You always need plenty
of good food properly digested. Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure Is the result of years OF
scientific research for something that
would digest not only some elements OF
food but every kind. And 1t is the one
remedy that will do it. W. d. Head.
The Press., 1901-04-04
The AHhemi@m of Today.

The Athenians dine late the year
round and. whenever the weather will
permit In the open air. AS the heated
season advances the dinner hour Is set
later and later until In August $50 OF
10 becomes the common thing. Fancy
going to the theater after that! Yet
the open air performances are literally
patronized. and they do not begin, of
course, until after dinner. The legend
Curtain rises promptly at g. is a
snare and delusion. as many for
eigner has found. to his extreme an
noyance.
The out Of door dining and the sky
rooted theaters are so typlcally Greek
that they serve as a link between mod
ern and classical times. The old Greek,
as everybody knows. was an outdoor
man. his house serving as little more
than a sleeping place and storeroom.
The Athenian of today dimes in a gar
den. on his terrace or in park. Ii he
is too poor to possess any Of these &C.
cessories. he sets his table upon the
sidewalk. Many of the cheap restau-
rants appropriate the walks for dining
rooms. One Is often compelled when
taking an evening stroll to dodge in
and out among dozens of tables cover
ed with reasonably clean linen and
lighted by means Of candles. whose
flames are protected from the wind by
means of glass globes.-Scribner's.
The Press., 1901-04-04

1t Is SA i'll that once when the late Lord
Russell then Sir Charles. was on cir.
cult. he became so indignant with
every one in general and his solicitor
client in particular that he seized his
large and heavy brief and smote the
solicitor on the head with 1t. The
solicitor Indignantly collected his pa
pers and hurried out of court. muir.
muring that he would never brief Sir
Charles again
Some time afterward a shipping
magnate came TO the same solicitor
with a big case. Brief Russell" he
said. The solicitor said he was sorry
but 1t was impossible. as Russell had
never apologized Then give me my
papers," said the shipowner. land I'll
go to some one VINO will"
Eventually the unhappy man OF law
not wishing to lose his best client. hat
leaving the court when assaulted
PearsonS Weekly
CAUGHT A DREADFUL CoLD.-Marior
Kooke, manager for T. M. Thompson, s
large importer of fine millinery at 1861
Milwaukee Avenue, Chicago, says: "Dur
ing the severe weather caught a dread
full cold which kept me awake at nigh
and made me unfit to attend my worl
during the day. One of my milliners wal
taking Chamberlain's Cough Remedy fol
a severe cold at that time, which seemed
to relieve her so quickly that bough
some for myself 1t acted like magi,
and began to improve at once. an
now entirely we'll and feel very pleased
to acknowledge Its merits"
For sale by e. K. Taft, Stafford Springs
Fl. f. Cady, Stafford; Gardiner Hall, Jr.
& Co., South wilmington.
The Press., 1901-04-04
A. G.. EATON,
Pharmacist of Stafford Springs.
13lTE5Q1l1lT733l

Our fee returned if we fail. ANY one sending
sketch and description of any invention will
promptly receive our opinion free concerning
Patent" sent upon request. Patents secured
through US advertised for sale at our expense.
Patents taken out through us receive special
aotice, without charge, in The PATENT RECORD.
IN illustrated and widely circulated journal,
consulted by Manufactures and Investors.
Send for sample copy FREE. Address,
VICTOR J. EVANS & CO.
Patent AftorneyS,)
9saas BuIidlng, WASHINGTON, O. 6
The Press., 1901-04-04
Job Couldn't Have Stood It

II he'd had Itching Piles. They're ter
ribly annoying; but Bucklen's Arnica
Salve will cure the worst case Of piles on
earth. It has cured thousands. For In
juries, Pains or Bodily Eruptions it's the
best salve In the world. Price 600 box.
Cure guaranteed. Sold by A. C. Eaton.
The Press., 1901-04-04

Those famous little pills, DeWitt's Lit
tie Early RiseTs will remove all impuri.
ties from your system, cleanse your bow
els, make them regular. w. ID. Head.
The Press., 1901-04-04

Jell-O, The New Dessert,
pleases all the family. Four favOrs Lemon.
Orange, Raspberry and strawberry. At your
grOcerS, 10 CENTS Try it to-day.
The Press., 1901-04-04

Rhode Island has increased In popula-
lation In the past ten years 90 ,Oe0, or "a
per cent.