The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-10-24
HOW HAWKINS LOST THE BET.

| IT IS rather hard on a woman 10 have
her husband get home at or O'Clock
IN the morning. said Hawkins Hawkins
is the Past Grand Imperial Emperor and
| Potentate OF Silver Moon Lodge No o.
IN tell you what we1l do" he went
on. I'VE three chaps viii agree. if YOU
say so. when we go home this morning
| lis half after o'clock nOw-to do what
ever our respective wives suggest. We
ought 10 do something TO even things
| up What do you say?'
Elliot, who is the Plueperfect Assistant
| Magnificent Interior Sentinel Of No. 81
agreed and Tompzins. although 2 little
| suspicious that Hawkins was putting u
| a job on them. followed his example
The chap who fails to do exactly what
his wife suggests or even hints at must
| buy the supper for the crowd" said Haw-
kins. Are you all in on it?''
The three pledged their assent over an
early morning cocktail.
They met one night less than a week
/ later and Elliot said: We'll, Tompkins,
/ how did you come out?"
"All right" said the little man. The
supper isn't on me. II was o'clock when
! got home. l let myself in with my
/ iatchkey without making the door cTeak
! and started upstairs. The house was all
in darkness and, you chaps will under
stand, / didn't care TO make a light.
Il was getting along all right and It
/ seemed certain that I would get TO my
room on the third floor without disturb
ing soul, when my foot struck chair
which somebody had carelessly left
| standing en- the stairs. The chair turned
over and went rafting and humping
down the stairs. 1t sounded louder than
! n dynamite explosion. OF course IL woke
my wife and everybody else in the house.
" Hello called Mrs. Tompkins, I sup
pose that is you, Henry?'
" Yes, dear said, it is T.
" Well, she said, it's a wonder you
wouldn't break the chair all 10 pieces
I remembered our agreement and al
| though it was hard work, I finally got
that chair broke up. The chair was hard
wood and it took me long time to do IT,.
but there was mighty little left when 1
got through.
Il can't say. though, that my wife
seemed to appreciate all the trouble l
was taking in her behalf. But at any
rate the supper isn't on me. That's GER
tainly clear"
And you, Elliot" said Hawkins some
what sadly.
I'm all right" said the Magnificent In
terror Sentinel. Il had nearly the same
experience. broke into the house NNh-
out rousing anybody and was just about
to go under the wire an easy winner,
when 1 stepped on Mrs. Elliot's pet An
CORA cat.
THE beast was sleeping curled UP on
landed on its tail and 1t expressed its
disgust so loudly that all the sleepers in
the block sat up in bed.
" Thomas said Mrs. Elliot.
Yes, dear 1 answered. 1 stepped on
Clarence He was sleeping here on the
stairs and 1 was trying to get up to bed
without disturbing you.
Well said Mrs. Elliot, its q wonder
you wouldn't kin the poor dear
With our agreement in mind I took
her suggestion as a command and after
some difficulty finally got a firm hold Of
Clarence and Of my revolver. A cat has
nine lives, you know, but 1 finally sue
ceeded in carrying out my wife's wishes
in the matter. L had a grudge of long
standing against Clarence, anyhow, and
I'm free to confess that life has been
more pleasant at my house since his sud
den and unexpected demise
Hawkins, it's up to you"
The Past Grand Imperial Emperor
heaved deep sigh.
I've got a long story to tell he said.
Lets put it off till we have more time"
But the other men were relentless.
- don't mind confessing." he began.
that 1 went home determined to stick
one Of you fellows for the supper. In
made arrangements before I left home
that evening to get in by the side door,
and I was sure not a Soul in the house
would hear me. / had It all carefully
planned. and it wasn't It all my fault
that it didn't work out as I figured.
Il staid downtown until o'clock on
purpose, because 1 knew that people
sleep most soundIy just before the dawn.
Before I went in I walked all around the
house and saw that there wasn't a light
burning anywhere.
I even took the trouble TO look up the
policeman on the beat, and he assured
me that there hadn't been a light lit in
my house since 10 o'clock. Under the cir
cumstances / felt that it would be easy
to get in without being caught at IT. At
the time ] wouldn't have given you chaps
a nickel for your chance of eating at my
expense.
Finally let myself in st the side door
without making a noise that could have
disturbed a mouse Then with a pocket
electric light, which I always carry with
me, I lit myself through library and
drawingroom into the hall.
Then, like wise man, | sat down on
the steps to take off my shoes so as to
make assurance doubly sure. Just as
I was pulling off the second shoe my
foot slipped and I kicked over the other
shoe which I had set down on the stairs
beside me. II went humping down TO the
bottom. striking on every step with a
racket which was frightful.
.. Who's there? cried my wife IN a nat
urally startled voice
" It's only me. dear answered in
my most ingratiating tone. I'm afraid l
dropped one of my shoes
'' For goodness sake she said. are
you just getting home from-lodge7 What
time is it, anyhow
g" It's just about Il o'clock. dear an
swered.
Then the cuckoo clock in the library
struck and in order TO make good. I
had to sit there on those stairs and
cuckoo eight times more TO make up
IL
Wen, it's time enough you were home
at any rate. she said
Il started up stairs again. going fast
now because thought I might as well
get inside the room and close the door
before anything else happened.
I was on the next TO the last step. /
when my TOE caught on a loose bit OF
carpet. and I fell forward, only saving ;
myself by putting out nv hands. IL +
which I carried my shoes. OF course the !
shoes made a terrible racket as they 4
struck the stairway and Mrs. Hawkins I
was reused 70 action once more.
It's a wonder she called. that YOU 4
wouldn't fan down stairs and break your
neck.
Il was willing to do almost anything
10 stick YOU chaps for supper. but this
was a suggestion which 7 couldn't carry .
put without losing al chance OF enjoying
future suppers at anybOdy's expense It's
IN re, boys, and I leave it 10 you TO !
name the day"
Ruling Passion.
(From the Chicago Tribunel
llIVse-.- ~ -.rrarl-ahla the - - |