The Sunday globe., 1901-05-19
A STATE SENATOR
Of Montana Whe Was Sued for
Taking a Forbidden Kiss.
SOME RACY READING MATTER
And Some Original Dissertations on The 0sOu
latOy Ant with Picturesque AdrIOs-Whsn
How and Where 10 Indulge Without Danger
Of Damage SuIis-SOms Evidence which
Shows How Kissing Should be Done

State Senator-elect w. f. Meyer, of
Bozeman, needs to wear a truss in place
of a hat band to hold together his badly
ruptured reputation. The press of the
state have fairly stopped over the column
lines the past month concerning an affaire
d'amour Of which he is alleged to have
played the "heavy villain" When a
man once allies himself with this Stand
ard Oil gang he sooner or later becomes
mentally besotted and "gOne sucker {"
He loses not only selfrespect, but self
control. When a man is owned by some
one else and once loses his identity and
soul it is not surprising that he attempts
TO pre- empt claim upon some other soul
AS the story goes, Senator Meyer was
spending the evening with Miss Blank,
prominent society belle of Bozeman.
During the evening the willy senator
began to feel his oats and attempted to
lunch at the Dewey entrance Of Miss
Blanks gum receptacle The latter,
being IA lady of the highest character,
promptly resented the senator's brzen
offer TO swap spit, and thereby hangs a
tale. Whether Miss Blank has a sweet.
heart somewhere whom she was afraid
might find out that the senator had been
"tenting upon the old camp ground
deponeth saith not. The circumstances
in detail Of this attempted coup d etat
are not familiar TO the writer Tulip
salve may be one Of the essential in.
gradients of Senator Meyers existence
Ras fopfh fA Fha.
lady iaire in the words Of Shylock: you
take away my life when you take away
the means by which l live" While on
the other hand the lady may have con
sidered the introduction of such evidence
of insanity-as totally incompetent,
irrelevant, and immaterial.
Perhaps the roundeay which Senator
Never caroled at the feet of Miss Blank
was wild prototype Of those which
Solomon poured forth from his sensuOus
soul to his sweet Rose of Sharon: Thou
hast doves eyes. thy lips are like a thread
of scarlet Thy breasts like young roses
that feed upon the lilies. Set me as
seal upon thy heart a seal upon thine
arm. For love is strong as death, jeal.
ousy cruel as the grave.
Or Senator Meyer may have demon.
strated himself 10 be an A l simon
pure, 1SK lallygagger by throwing his
lunch hooks around Miss Blanks lovely
diaphragm. and viewing the dark lashes
lying upon the cheek of sun-tlushed
snow, 1.-The charm of married brows, the
throat OF alabaster, the dimple in her
chin, the wine tint Of her halEparted
lips VIII clint oi genuine pearl, proceed
ing TO give her am old fashioned Ella
Wheeler Wilcox polar bear hug, bursting
forth in melodious bay:
" Oh, darling, what essence of ebulant words
Shall paint the mad panic that curdles and
Curds
The ultimate juice Of my innermost self
For your sake, my Edenish, Aidenish Elf
Oh, what would do, IL you could but see
How charming and proper ana sweet II
with amorous arm, in one clamorous twlne,
Let me crush your dear ribs and damage
Let'me gnaw al your neck with passionate
greed
That doubly discounts a bull pup at his
Let me suck your red lips and your tongue
in cahOOts,
TIL / draw out your quiyering soul by the
roots.
Let my rayagng, ravenous rapturous
shrieks
Hurtle to heaven in stridulous streaks:
Let me drink at the ardent, Cupidical cup
TIL burst into flame aud al last burn you
up
It were idle to speculate further con
corning the affair, only to state that Miss
Blank went into court and demanded a
few of Uncle Sans long green illumi.
mated mental anguish plasters as a pOul-
tice to heal the hurt that honor feels
and the courts gave her the Siberian
shoulder. A pretty kettle of fish, one
must remark. When asked to osculate
a woman invariably declines, resists
pressure, and whimpers, "Oh, don't,
even threatens to scream. How in the
great horn and spoons is fellow TO know
whether she means business or is simply
making a grandstand playy We can't
all be @lud readers A guy sort o. hates
10 overlook these important bets and be
voted a pie bald ass by some bundle of
dimples and deWltry, sunshine and
extravagance that has had her mouth
all puckered for weeks, yet here
was our own and only Senator
Meyer, who became hypnotlzed by
the poetry Of peris personality, swoOped
down upon the object of his alteration
like a humble bee about to rifle a shumate
blossom, only To have his pleasure mar.
red BY damage suit and the ridicule Of
the entire population Of Montana. Per
haps the decision in this case is all right
alter all. Had the decision been the
reverse il would have established a bad
precedent and before long many women
would be using their kissing machines
with which TO make money, seek remu
neraton for the same kind of kisses
which they waste upon other women and
colicky kids. Not having read the evil
denCe submitted 10 the court IL is not
known upon what the plainut based her
plea tor damages, whether IL was the
KISS per so, OF the manner in which the
goods were delivered up lha' constituted
the casus bell. The evidence az hand
does not stare whether Senator Meyer
placed the kiss where il would do the
most good, lUst it among her bangs as Is
the custom with biz brothers, Ur slid II
down the back OF her neck, la the he
roes upon the stage lt does not even
state whether he snatched II upon The ny
like a left fielder mailing skyscraper Ol
A halt starved tourist grabbing a depO
lunch counter sandwich as The train
pulls from the station, or whether h'
tried to take halt an hour to let 1t soal
in. II is the supposltiOn, however, tina
Senator Never wore a mOustache thrOugl
which he had been straining lager bee
and mock turtle soup; that he grabbed
Mics Blank like boy at county tai
seizing the creased pig, musscd her bangs
deranged her ribbons, and crumpled he
dress, only to leave ON her larboar,
cheek red spot smelling OF plug TO
bacco, brilliantine, booze, chilli concarn
and standard oil. Under such crcum
stances Miss Blank would be justified il
making use OF most any kind Of retalia
ton. There must be something wronl
in Senator Meyers make up, for the MAJ
that knows how 10 kiss pretty wOmal
lin e.f1,rn auAr Upt iufo gDUFt l)u