The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1901-11-02
THE ICONOCLAST
o. Barry Pain.

leIt AllN IL always liiC SdihN hihu
of thing-a long story TO show what
little boy can do. And he doesn't know
the difference between boy and a ba-
by. He doesn't know the difference be-
tween Soccer and Rugger. He doesn't
know single blessed thing, except
Greek and rot of that kind. He said
1t was fine thing to have good
game in the open air with a ball or
hoop or a skipping rope. Fact, he did.
1t won't do, you know. What's he take
me fOrT
What else did he say| inquired the
interviewer
"Oh, the log cabin to White House
kind of thing. He's hot on heroes. II
you ask me, think heroes are good
deal too much cracked up. If l got the
chance to be n hero tomorrow. l
wouldn't l know chaps that would
but not me-
"Whyanot?"
"Well. take instances. Know any
Roman history? No? Lucky beggar!
Wish | didn't have to know any my
self. In Roman history there was
hero called CurtiuS- jumped down a
hole and did for himself There was
another called Decius that went and
got himself killed 10y the enemy. That
would he all right II you could come TO
life again, but you can't And when
you're dead it doesn't seem 10 me to
matter much whether people are cheer
ing you and praiSing you and crack
ing YOU up or whether they're not.
Besides. you can't go on with any
thing else When you're dead, you
stop so. When | do anything good.
want something good for it and no
rotten heroiSm. And | believe every
man Of sense thinks the same. Some
time ago | swallowed a threepenny bit
because boy said l daren't. You see.
was good deal more Of kid than
am now. Ii was rather silly of me, and
II was silly of the other boy, too, be-
cause il was his threepence. And IL
wasn't properly his threepence. because
1t had been given him for the Offertory.
The offertory had TO do without it.
However. as was saying, l swallowed
ii. That got me a bit looked up TO by
other chaps. If you aren't afraid of.
swallowing threepenny bit, then fel-
lows are careful how they get trying
larks with you. One of the big chaps
came up to me and asked If | did 1t,
and when | said Yes he said, Silly
young devil" He's spoken TO me again
since then, and he's chap who practl-
cally never speaks to kids"
The interviewer suggested that he
roes did not always die in the act
NO; suppose they don't. l believe
II would be better If they did. They
can't keep it up to that level. They
can't do the heroic every day. They've
got to get into rows and go short Of
money, just like anybody else, then
they're disappointed. You don't hear
much about that in the books or from
the Rev. James Dilwater, but you can
see for yourself that's how ii would be.
Heroism's like a lot of other things If
you've not got 1t, you don't want 1t. II
you've ever had it, you can't do withoue
it. It's so with smoking. There was a
time when I'd never tried II and didn't
care to try it."
The interviewer felt it his duty to ex-
press a pious hope that that time still
existed.
Look here. I've had half an hour Of
Mr.. Dilwater. Don't you begin too
It's just occasionally when | feel the
need of It, l don't brag about 1t as
some boys do, boys that have never
smoked the whole Of a cigarette all at
one time. But we weren't talking about
that"
"No, with regard to heroism"-
Eyes, there's another thing. If boys
get to be awfully good at anything and
are tremendously praised for II, they
generally get so cOcky there's no do
ing anything with them. 1t must he
the same with heroes, though the books
take jolly good care to keep that dark.
Nice sort of man HOratlus must have
been after he'd kept the bridge in the
brave days of old. or course he put
on some. He couldn't help it. Nobody
could. If the truth were known, be-
l!eve there's lots of people owe their
ruin TO an act of heroism. You'd nev
er guess that from the way Mr. Dill
water talks, but | keep my eyes open
and think out things for myself"
Surely" said the interviewer, "this
Is principally hypothesis. AS matter
Of fact
whats hypothesis? And there's
another thing. | shouldn't like my
pure minded and noble example to be
rammed down the threats of lot of
other boys that had never done any
thing to me. When thing gets rub
bed into you too much, you hate It.
That's how 1t is with me and herOism.
What with the books my aunts give me
on my birthday and at Christmas and
what with Mr.. Dilwater's interesting
Illustrations of what a little boy can
do I've had too much heroism. You
won't catch me standing on any burn
Ing deck when all but me had fed.
Don't expect 1t. I've got too much re-
gard for other boys. They don't want
to have me slung into poetry for them
TO be made to learn by heart. No fear!
They don't want to have me preached
ut them either. Well, goodby. BLACK
and White.
The Perfect Boy.