The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-02-15
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Mamma-JOhnny, rear you were not
at school yesterday. Johnny-Hm! I'll
bet the teacher told you. A woman can
never keep a secret.-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Dresser-Do you think this dress
is long enough behind, Jack? Mr.. Dress
er-plenty! Any microbe that can es-
cape that isn't worth catching.-London
Modern Society.
Stoughton-Did you have a good time
at the banquet last night? Manhat-
Splendid; l drank myself into in
sensibility before the speaking began
Boston Transcript
An Easy Part: Youth-Oh, 1 don't
want to take that character; I'll make
fool of myself, sure. Malden-Well,
you said you wanted an easy part
Detroit Free Press.
Back and Forth-Edmond, what made
you so late? My dear, | came up in
my new automobile and passed the
house five times before | could arrange
to stop.-Indianapolis Journal.
Father (who has helped his son with
his homework What did the teacher
say when you showed him the sums?
Johnny-He said was getting more
stupid every day.-Glasgow Evening
Times.
well, Jim couldn't pass the civil
service business on geography an 'rith-
metic." TOO bad What's he goin'
to do nowY' Dunno, but l reckon
he'll 90 back to teachin' schoolw-At-
lanta Constitution.
Judge-Prisoner at the bar, have you
anything further to state in your de-
Tense? Prsoner-No. your Honor: l
only ask you. to deal with me as you
would with yourself if you were in my
place.-Green Bag.
Bacon-When you are in the city drop
in and see me. Egbert-Why. | thought
your office was on the eighteenth floor?
so it is And you want me to drop
in; do you suppose I'll be in a balloon?'
-Yonkers Statesman
She-Yes, it's all well enough to say
now you think I'm pretty. Yesterday
you said my nose turned up dreadful
~. He-Well, DEAR / was thinking it
shows mighty poor taste in backing
away from such a lovely mouth
Golfers Weekly.
Prepared for Relatives-Husband TAT
dinner)-My, my This is a regular
worthy of Delmonico. Fin
est spread I've seen in an age. What's
up? Do you expect company? Wife
No, but l presume the cook does
New York Weekly.
Wonder how Slower is doing
nowadays? Griggs-Oh, he must be
doing finely; must be making no end
of money. You know he has always
been troubled more or less with rheu-
matism. Well, he now calls it gout.-
Boston Transcript
Used to Make Up: New Nurse
Please. mum. | can't do a thing with
the baby. He cries all the time. Mis-
tress-Well, l declare! How stupid Of
me! His other nurses were colored
girls. You'll find some stove polish in
the kitchen.-New York Weekly.
Tom-You've been leaning against
whitewashed fence, haven't your Dick
No; why? Tom-YOur coat-tails are
covered with white dust. Dick-ShI
I'm going to call on Miss Pechy; her
father, you know, keeps a bulldog; that
white dust is Observation-Disclosures
Press
Proud Papa: This is my son
Frederick, Mr.. Fosdick," said Mr..
Chambers. proudly, introducing his
5-year-Old boy to his caller. We'll.
Frederick" said the caller do you
mind your mamma2" YES. sir" re-
piled Frederick promptly, land so does
papa. Bazaar
All That Was Needed: Cassidy
Wudn't yez loike t live on a farm.
Pat? Casey-Oh, uts tn only way t
live! Eff they only hod nlivated roads.
cable cars, plinty av saloons. concert
halls, tinimint houses, dirt. noise. and
polacemin on farm, Ord move on to
a farm to-morrOw-Judge.
mother was howing her dear little
Joe picture of the martyrs thrown TO
the lions, and was talking very solemn
ly to him, trying to make him feel what
a terrible thing it was. MA" he said.
suddenly, "oh, ma. just look at that lit
tie lion right behind there; he won't get
any.'-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Il wish you would read this article
he said. whats 1t aboutY' she asked
ITS about the danger of getting an
CRY and it was written by physician"
he replied. She looked at him sharply
for a minute. What have you been
doing nowT' she asked. "What kind
of confession are you about to
makeT-Chicago Post.
You many think me superstitiops >,