Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1901-01-09
THE DEAD CENTURY.

thc WhltP SiltelS' ne p'iNSiul c'iliiC
is there. The death-rattle is gone
and the silvcry fame OF lie has faded
from his eyes,
We are sorry TO part with the old
fellow, for he has been a corker in his
time. Other centuries previous to
this one have plugged along thgo' life
as best they could, making no foot
prints and leaving no sPnOr. on the
sands OF time to speak Of Iut the
Nineteenth Century has been hum
mcr. In his youth he may have been
giddy and ind!screet, but We should
remember there were no W. c. I.
Utes in those days to seize him by
the slack OF the trousers and pull him
back from the primrose paths Of sin.
In his youth he enjoyed but few OF the
comforts and congeniepces OF life.
His food was cooked in & Dutch oven
and he had to light his pipe with
flint. He wrote his love letters with
a goose quill and fastened his galluses
with a thorn. All, little did he dream
that before he passed up the aume he
would be wearing paper-mache teeth
and voting the Australian ballot.
When be was ushered into the
world, hun dged years ago, the
housewives leachcd their own lye and
kept the flies away from the table
with u peach prout. There were no
fy-screens, no cook toves, no carpet
sweepers, no yeast cakes, no baking
powder no shoe-buttons, no elautau-
quas, no spring mattresses, no IL 4
suits, no rubber shoes, no cucumber
spoons, no sewing machines, no toilet
soap, no clothes-wringers, no clothes
pins. Think OF it! Our great, great
grandmothers, hundred years ago,
never enjoyed the luxury OF hanging
out clothes on wash day with two
by-four sycamore clothes pin between
their ruby lips.
A century ago there were no tele-
graphs or railroads, no steamships,
no telephones, no type-writers, no
stem-w winding watches, no barbed wire
fences, no dehorned cattle, no Mark
Hannas or j. Ham Lewis.
During the century the shirt waist
has been discovered, the vermiform
appendix has been hunted to his lair,
the microbe has been bred up to its
present proud condition, and is now
standard and registered, threshing
machines have come into use and the
throw board has been invented. Per-
haps some OF our readers do not
know what throw board is.
Did you ever take the clown row"
On cold December morn,
When the frost was on the pumpkin
And the slObber on the corn?
If you did you can realize what a
wonderful invention the trowboard
is. 1t has abolished the "down row /"
in corning time AMI thus revolution
lied the morals OF the farmer boy. 1t
is u solemn thing to stand by the
death bed Of century. Some of us
perhaps will never see another croak.
Let us then be up and doing, with a
heart for any fate, still achieving, still
pursuing, till it's time to pull our
freight. The Nineteenth Century has
loped down through the shining CORR
doris of the home stretch impelled by
steam and charged with electricity.
Smooth down his dying pillow and
gently wipe the death damp from his
brow.
He has been the greatest century
that ever came down the pike.
He has brought the world the
ripened fruitage Of all tine and
clothed the sons OF men with the cul-
minating glory Of all epochs and ages.
The Keller Miner says that If you
have frequent attacks OF sick head
ache, dizziness, iainting spells and
jaundice, accompanied by chills, chill
blains, etc, it is a sure sign you are
not going to live long and it would
be well for you to pay up your sub
scription to the paper and year in
advance and thus make yourself solid
for good obituary notice.
Too often it is the case, especially
in country towns, that the people are
ever ready and anxious to pick out
the shortcomings OF their neighbors.
Let this not be said of Rit4vIle.
When tempted to hold up to the world
the faults OF your neighbor, pause Il
moment and like a cloven-i orked
flash OF lightning memory's gallery
will reflect back the fact that we our
selves are not infallible, and that we
each have faults as numberless as the
sands on the sea shore.