davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08

DIR. Mayo Smith. the doctor" of
Mark 1wain's "Innocents Abroad"
died the other day at his residence At
Colorado Springs, Col. Thousands Of
people who have laughed at the doc
tor as portrayed in Twain's master
piece will be sad to hear of his pass
ing. He was also an intimate friend
of Horace Greeley, and was the first
reporter on the New York Tribune.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08
Tragedy in wisconsin.

Beloit, Wis, March 3.-Homer Payne,
a mechanic, aged As years, shot his wife
and Arthur Cady, a neighbor of whom
he was jealous, then placing the re-
volver to his head killed himself in
stantly. Mrs. Payne will recover.
Cady was not seriously injured.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08
Incen diary Fire

. Vincennes, Ind, March Brake
man chapel,-a Methodist church four
miles east OF this city, was burned to
the ground. 1t IS believed to have been
set on fire. Disputes among the mem-
bers OF the congregat ton is assigned as
the cause. A reward is offered for the
arrest Of the sincendiary.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08
4 .Hanecy. Nominated for Mayor.

Chicago, March 4.--T The republican
city convention was called to order
at the First Regiment armory satur-
day. Previous to the balloting the
convention adopted q platform which
indorsed the republican national adj
ministra alton, the civil service law and
condemned the granting Of long,
street railway nchises, one Of the
chief questions of the campaign.
Judge Elbridge Hanecy was nom
mated for mayor on the eighth ballot.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08
Afraid 1of the Plague.

Berlin, March 4.~Before the budget
committee of the reicbstag, Baron Won
Richthofen, secretary Of the foreign
Office, announced that . decree would
be issued prohibiting imports from
Cape Town, owing to the existence Of
plague there. .ss ss,s s .S fSE: Az$$:5
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08

A department of dentistry has late
~ been added to the army, but the
adjutant ntgeneral of New Jersey would
60 still further and add corps of
chiropodists. Why not? The condi-
tion of their feet, involving as it does
their fitness for marching, is so inn
portant to soldiers that it is mat
ter of wonder that specialists in this
line of minor surgery have not been
provided before.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08
I No salaries tor omcial..

Denver, Co1.,5 March The Tax Re-
form league, whose plat atform is mo
salaries for public officials, Z has been
organized in this cit Its members
will support at the coming municipal
none but candi dates pledged
to turn their sala ries into the public
imptoyement fund.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08

Among the Sioux Indians there are
now % churches, constituting the Da-
kota Indian presbytery. These are in
North and South Dakota, Nebraska
and Montana. Three years age there
were 1881 members of these
churches, with 16 native ministers,
one. lay preacher and two assistants.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08

"A Kansas Cry for Water is head
line in a paper published in Mrs. Carrie
Nations state, Well, when the saloons
are smashed the people out there have
to drink something, <--'.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08
NY Axes 81 Al.erica,

London, March -. The war Office
has made q contract with an Amre.ri-
can merchant to supply :, 900 telling
axes Tor the British troops IN South
Africa, english firms being unable to.
make sufticiently prompt delivery. ss.
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08

Marconi, who is classed with the 81
lent men, has telegraphed q message
200 miles without wires. He may beat
Tesla to Mars yet by beginning at this
end of the line. . ST., : 8 ~ S.1 ~ ~,
The Worthington advance., 1901-03-08

sured order. Our enfranchisement of the
people will not be completed until free
Cuba shall be arrealtty;-not a name; a per-
fect entity. not hasty experiment bearing
within itself the elements of failure
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

her eyes open for flying bugs. Mr.. Bow
ser wasn't doing his work in slipshod
fashion He had notebook and pencil with
him, and he jotted down notes for the ben
eft of Professor Boxley and mankind in
general:
10 o'clock-Just sat down in the full
light of the MOON.
'1o05-Thnk l observe a slight mist.
"1010--Am positive there is mist
'1o20-Feel shiverv-, and the cat has
shuddered once or twice"
'1OSO-Slight eoldness up and down the
spine"
"1O:4o-The cat is looking around in a
strange manner as if seeing germs"
I'll o'clock-Cat is still uneasy, and I
believe l have absorbed the germs of
malaria. If the disease should prove ia
tai
That was the end of his notes. Just
then an old woman with a cane and a
basket came along and halted at the gate.
Mr.. Bowser was watching for mists and
gave her no attention until she opened
the gate and entered and said:
Yes, it's the same man, and now he's
got to make things right"
Whats the matter, my good woman"
he asked.
THE matter is that you passed lead
nickle off on a poor wilder. 1 want a
good nickel in exchange"
You mean you came here asking for
charity and l gave you bad coin?"
That's 1t, sir. You knew l was a wild
der who hadn't any bread in the house,
but you worked a game on me-
II never did, exclaimed Mr.. Bowser.
You must be mistaken in the house.
Not at all, sir. l remember your bald
head and red face and way of speaking
Yes, it was YOU and now you must do the
right thing or I'll make trouble"
woman, go on, / know nothing about
1t. You are either drunk or crazy"
But she refused to go on. on the con-
trary, she began talking in such shrill
tones that the neighbors Weakened and
looked out of their windows. Mr.. Bowser
forgot the moon the mists mosquitoes
and malaria and seized the woman by
the arm and led her to the gate. She
fought back and raised her voice still
higher. and of a sudden two policemen
came running. They saw a woman in the
grasp of man, and that was sufficient.
They seized Mr.. Bowser on either side
| and wrenched and jammed and jerked
| him. Then as he tried to explain they
| slammed him against the fence and bun
| died him around and poked him in the
| ribs. and then away they went dragging
him between them At the corner they
were calling for the patrol wagon when
| Mr.. Bowser's family butcher came along
and induced them to listen and finally de-
eide on letting him GO He limped back to
| the house. The moon still shed her glor-
| ious beams. but he saw her not There
. was a mist lowering around the cat wait
| ing at the gate. but he gave 1t no heed.
; With signs and groans he dragged HIM
/ self up the steps and kicked open the
| door. and as he saw Mrs Bowser in the
hall he extended mis- arm until his finger
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

opinion. We row come to the point in the
case have decided in the interests of
medical science to prove or disprove the
professors theory"
"W-what are you going to do?''
< Offer myself as a sacrifice. Tonight
Have a glorious full moon, and there
viii be a mist. 1 will sit in the full orb
Of night and make square test. If ma
laria follows, then it follows that Pro-
fessor Boxley is right If not, then will
permit myself 10 be bitten by mosquitoes
tomorrow night"
But II You have a bad case of mala-
ria you may die" protested Mrs. Bowser.
Exactly, my dear woman,-exactly,"
said Mr. Bowser. witt flourish of his
y hand. If I die, however, 1t will be in the
INTERESTS of science and save thousands of
Others. Some one has got to sacrifice him
self. and Why shouldn't it be me?"
Mrs. Bowser could say nothing further.
Having made up his mind to SIT in the
moonlight, Mr. Bowser would sit there,
even if the house took fire. He was in no
hurry. however. He got down the ency-
clopedia and looked up Malaria" and
.Mosquitoes, and by 10 O'Clock he felt
himself thoroughly posted As Mrs. Bow
ser was ready to go up stairs she asked:
..Where dc you propose TO carry out
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21
MR.. BoWsEE S SACRIFICE.
He Offers Up His Life in the Interest
of Medical Science.


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Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

I three or four days when a party of
! ing a tour arrived. Among them was
an antiquary who was looked up to and
respected for his knowledge of ancient
history and ruins, and each evening
there was a gathering in the parlors Of
the hotel to hear him give sort Of
| lecture on what he had seen during the
named, had been charged to pick up all
the old Greek manuscripts to be had
J for money, and it was his inquiries for
such documents that doubtless led to
our undoing One day man named
Talanti, who had somewhat the man
ners and dress of a gentleman, brought
the professor two ancient manuscripts
as a present, and to show his further
good will he announced valuable dis
covery which had just been made on
the island of Egina, about 40 miles dis
tant. He was the owner of the island
and while his workmen were getting
out stone they had come across some
rare treasures in art, but had developed
only small portion of them. They had
partly uncovered stone box which he
believed held large number of manu-
scripts and valuable coins, but he had
delayed the opening of it that some of
his friends might be present Three or
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

order and the heather Chinese chsrS.
ed out of the courtroom, said his hon
or as he settled down to business. ~,
will purceed to the case in hand. Tbs
critter known to us as Weepfn lin
who has a claim over on Hell creek.
goes over to Roarin Hill the other dsy
arter meat and flour. His shanty =
left to take keer of itself, though bs
puts a sign on the door of Not 10
Home Weepin Jim has bin gone an
hour or two when along comes tina,
eritter known to us as Humble Bill
Bill wasn't goin anywhar in pertieular
that day, but was just gambolin around
in sarch of a good thing. He nacher-
ally comes across Weepin Jim's shan
ty as he gambols, and, bein as nobody
was sittin in the door with a gun. he
takes possession.
when Jim returns from Roarin Hin
he finds Bill occupyin his domicile. and
thar's a sign over the door readIn
Very Much to Home So he was. He
was drinkin the last of Jim's ticker
and smokin the last of his terbaeker
and he had on Jim's Sunday clothes.
Now all you critters take notice that
Weepin Jim had a rifle on his shoulder
and gun on his hip, and he was post
ed as to the customs of the kentry. II
was all right 'nuff fur him to come
forward and see who had jumped his
claim, but when he sees it was Hum
BILE Bill what followed? 1t gives this
court sea sickness to think Of it. Hum
BILE Bill sots thar as cool as ice and
tells Jim he'd better move on. He
don't make no excuses fur bein thar,
but says he is comfortable and means
to stay. He hasn't gun of any sort
with him. but is only armed with cheek.
Weepin Jim orders him to git, but he
keeps on smokin. Then he is coaxed,
but he only smiles. Then Jim offers
him $40 to glide, and he breaks out
with ha ha, ha! BY the horn spoon,
but this court can't talk of it without
feelin his hair curl!
when Weepin Jim has threatened,
coaxed and bribed, does he jump back
and PUNK four or five bullets into the
carcass of Humble Bill and then come
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

four of them were going to his island
home on the morrow, and he would be
glad to have as many of us foreigners
go along as could make it convenient
The voyage would be made in his
schooner and there would be no trou-
BILE about feeding and lodging all who
chose to go.
Aside from the English party there
were Americans, Germans and French
men to the number of 20 in Athens,
and when the list was made up we
numbered over 40, of whom 10 were
ladies. When we came on board the
schooner there was considerable sur
prise at finding her the craft she was.
one was nothing more than a trader,
and her accommodations were of the
primitive character. MT. Talantis
friends, who were supposed to be emf
nent professors, turned out to be a
common looking lot and not inclined
to be sociable, but we were out for a
backs. We had a favorable wind for
the voyage, and the professor and 9TH
ers felt that it would be the event OF
their lives AS the weather was pleas
ant and we had brought lunch from the
hotel, our MONDAY meal was sort OF
picnic. For an hour or two AFTER the
meal Professor Hampstead entertained
us with a historic lecture, and time
passed pleasantly for all hands.
My friend could speak Greek, but
when he attempted to enter into con-
versation with Mr.. Talanti's friends he
found them surly enough. This ex,
cited our surprise. as they were sup
posed to 20 ee-1a.men-- NeaAan W
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

down yere and ask coroner's jury to
clar him? Not any He jest leaves
that critter in peaceful possession and
saunters down to hunt me up and say:
ledge, I'm avantin of the law.
What sort of law?', saysd.
""The kind with jestice in it, says
he. Humble Bill has jumped my claim,
and l want the law to jump HIM
'TWhen he told me he hadn't even
fired one shot at Bill, / was knocked
out with amazement and Indignation,
but as he persisted in demandin a war
rant | had to issue one. Humble Bill IS
now before us, and sittin in the stove
over thar is Weepin Jim. THAR won't
be no mixin in by the lawyers. It's
case fur me tie decide, and L feel my
self ekal to the occasion. My decision
lis about as follers, and thar's no buck
skin fringe along the edges:
"Fustly, Weepin Jim haint got the
baohbo of a firshworm.
cheek of government mule.
Thirdly, when man comes home
from Roarin Hill and finds he's bin
jumped it's his bounden dooty under
the United States CONSTRUCTION to
snoot.
'Fourthly, while we've got law and
iact;oo itsc ooIo,,1otad fbot fbou only
come in after the gun-in other words,
shoot first. q
Filthy, this court amt blamin
Humble Bill fur grabbin on to a good
thing, but
'1Sixthly, if it had bin this courts
claim he'd hev plugged Bill SO fullAol
holes that he'd hev answered fur
screen door,
"Seventhly, as Weepin Jim has no
case in law and as he disturbed this
court while at a game of poker to de-
mand jestice he's fined 81 and has got
to come down with the spot cash.
'Eighthly and lastly, Humble Bill
is sot at liberty with his character as
pure as the driven snow, but as sort
of warnin to him ag'in future claim
jumpin and as a caution to him not 10
be so burned humble fur a month OF
SO to come he is hereby fined a IKE
amount. and the pair OF 'em can't git
out of Sandy Bend any too fast =
please the enterprisin DpDulaes's
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
The Butcher Puts Him Up to Dodge,
But the Bottom Drops Out.

Copyright. 1901, by C. b. Lewis.)
One day dot butcher comes in my
shop und sees dot hat nottings to do,
und he looks aroundt und says:
Hans. if you knew some beans from
broomsticks you would naf lots of work
to do. You vhas in dis place for two
years, und yet you don't make a sooc-
cess"
But it vhas dem dago cobblers, who
work so cheap" l says.
"Dagoes be hanged, 1t vhas because
you don't understand der peoples. If a
man comes in here to get cement
patch While he waits, he sees nottings
but shoe pegs und some scraps of leath-
er. Dere vhas nottings to interest him,
und so he neffer comes again"
But what can do?"
"Shust take some advice from me.
I vhas by an auction place der odder
day, und l buy a gun and sword und
two cannon balls. | shall lend them to
you. Your cobbler shop shall be a
museum. People Will ask more as one
t'ousand questions, und I shall tell you
What to say"
/ don't exactly understand how she
vhas, but dot butcher puts der things
in my shop window und tells me all
aboudt each one, und it don't seem
fife minutes before mans comes in
und says:
"Cobbler, l guess I hat to have a
patch on my shoe. I see you hat a
gun in der window. Was dot gun
captured from der Spanish at Santi-
ago."
ooh, no." I says. dot vhas der gun
NIT which Nero vhas killed, und she
vhas now on exhibition for der first
time"
"Do you say Nero vhas shot NIT dot
gum" he asks.
"He vhas."
"How long ago."
"More ash feefteen years"
Dot mans don't speak any more until
his shoe vhas fixed oop. Den he stands
oop und says:
"Cobbler, you vhas liar und swim
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21
BUNKOED BY A GREEK.

BY W. Quad.
Copyright. 1901. by e b. Lewis)
The pair of us had been in Athens
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

this experience? ?"
Il shall sit on the front steps" he re-
piled.
And how long will it take?''
II can't say about that I'll give IT two
hours anyhow. You go right to bed and
don't worry about me It will take the
malarial germs a day or two to develop.
i think I'll take the cat out for company"
Five minutes later he took a seat on the
top step. with the cat at his left hand 1t
was a warm and balmy night. and he was
in his shirt sleeves and bareheaded The
cat wasn't UP on malaria or mosquitoes
and she didn't care continental whether
the moon was full or not in sight at ALL
but she purred in contentment and kept
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

der, und l neffer come into your shop
again. BY George, but like to punch
your head oace."
He gees oudt, und / don't see how
she vhas, und pooty queek womans
comes in. She hat two shoes in her
hand, und she says:
"Cobbler, / see you vhas some mu-
scum"
Eyes"
dot vhas right. like to see cob
bier nit enterprise. Vhas dot sword
captured in war;
"Oh, no! She vhas dot sword nit
which Sheneral Shackson vhas killed al
Pittsburg."
What you say? Do you mean Shen.
eral Shackson, dot hero of New Or.
leans?"
''Of course"
"Und you say he vhas killed at Pitts
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

put up and carried through such job
without a number of officials standing
of them doubtless shared in the plum
der when it was divided. 1t was said
Silat the money and jewelry amounted
to about $1,000. and the only consola-
ton any of the victims had was the
privilege of abusing a country where
such things could be carried out.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21

whispered;
Would be assassin Behold your work!
You were coming TO exult over my corpse
Make no excuses to me, for they won't
go. Tomorrow, woman, We separate for
ever, and IL"
He couldn't get out another word and
as he stood painting and gasping and ges-
turing she went back up stairs and the
cat demurey followed
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21
DEEP SEA WIT.

burg?"
Il do"
"Und when vhas it,"
More ash 'lefen years ago. Poor fell
low. Somebody got mat at him aboudt
politics und stabs him nit dat sword.
Did you know dot sheneral?"
Look here, cobbler." says dot WON
ans, did you come out of some crazy
house?"
No"
do you hat some brains in your
head?"
Yes"
"Vhell. den you must be der coolest
liar in all dis world. und shall take
dose shoes AWAY unde neffer come in
here again. If you lie like dot to my
husband, he would mop you all oafer
der floor"
like to see dot butcher und ask him
how it vhas aboudt dose relics, but be-
fore l can go down by his shop a fat
mans NIT a cane comes in und says:
"Cobbler, see you vhas some enter
PRISE
yes"
II like to see it, und pooty queek
shall bring you some shoes to fix.
see you hat some relics in der window.
Where you got dot big cannon ball and
who vhas he?"
dot big cannon ball vhas der one
which kills Sheneral Washington at
Chicago" say.
What? What? Say dot oafer me
again"
l say it oafer, und dot fat mans grows
red init der face und looks hard at me
und says:
Look here, Dutchmans, If you think
l vhas fool you had better look oudt.
Do you say Sheneral Washington vhas
killed by dot big cannon ball?"
81 do. He vhas struck in der stomach
by dot ball und don't know who hurts
him. He shuts gifts one yell und drops
dead"
'Und it vhas in Chicago?"
"It vhas."
"How long ago."
For more ash two minutes dot fat
mans stands und looks at me, und den
he raises oop dot cane und says:
"You vhas either some big shakass
or liar, und l like to put my cane
oafer your back. Man, don't you know
aboudt Sheorge Washington"
"Of course. know he vhas killed in
Chicago by dot cannon ball If he
Wasn't killed he shall be alife yet"
Dot fat mans don't say no more He
looks oop at der celining und groans
und goes oudt. My wife says like
enough / vhas mistook und we shall
hat troubles, but / don't know aboudt
it when der policemans comes in und
says:
Hello, cobbler, but I don't know you
vhas in some war"
mo, q don't go by no war" I says.
But you have some relics in der win
dow. Seems to me half seen dot,
smallest cannon bali before but can't
exactly place her. Who yhas he?"
"He vhas der cannon ball dot kills
Shakespeare" says.
What? Do you mean dot Shake
speare vhas dead?"
HE vhas, poor mani"
"Und lie vhas KILLED in some battle?"
"Shust so. Yes, sir, dot Shakespeare
vhas leading his men at Bull Run when
dot cannon ball hit him in der ear, und
he goes dead like a rabbit"
Say, cobbler," he says after a long
look at me, please step oudt doors NIT
me, Will your"
"Of course"
I goes oudt NIT him. und he turns on
me und grabs me by der collar und
slams me aroundt until | vhas almost
dead. My wife comes oudt und cries.
und crowd comes along und saws how
vhas it, und dot policeman gifts me one
awful slam und says:
Now you und Shakespeare can 20
back to your work und hat some more
fun NIT der public"
Und when | tells der butcher how it
all vhas he raises his eyes oop to heafen
und says:
"Vhell, Well! What ignorant peoples
desc Americans yhas!"
ANOTHER OF JUDGE HOKE,s nr.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-07-21
ANOTHER OF JUDGE HOKE'S DE-
CISI0N AT SANDY BEND.

Copyright. 1901, by c. B. Lewis.)
This court hsvin bin duly called &c
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1901-06-28
WAS 1T AN INSULT2

There is some exultation in certain
uarters because the Virginia Constl-
tutional Convention did not extend an
invitation to Hon. VIM j. Bryan to
address that body when he visits Rich
mond, which he contemplates doing in
q short time. There is a disposition
to belittle Mr.. Bryan by those persons
and that portion of the press OF the
country which played traitor when Mr..
Bryan was the nominee of the Demo-
cratic party for President. The motion
W as not made in good faith, we think,
by Mr.. D. G. O'Flaherty, else he
would first have felt the pulse of the
invention and. not have permitted
W hat Mr.. Bryan g enemies are magni-
flying into gratultous insult. There
was no necessity for MI. Bryan ad-
dressing the convention, OF course that
body possibly cannot learn any more
than it now knows, all wisdom and
learning may be conferred there, but
unless Mr.. Bryan has deterioated he
W ould be far more interesting than
m any of the would BEES in. the present
C invention. We hardly think the con-
vention meant what Mr.. Bryan's
enemies have construed their action to
m can, because we cannot conceive OF
an y gratuitous insult being offered to
a man whom so many people of the
State and country have always been
willing to make President.