The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1901-08-22
THE SODA FOUNTAIN CLERK.

Consider now the meek and humble soda fountain
clerk,
Who drawetL of the molstened air with nimble
turn and jerk.
rlis garb Is always spotless white when first he,
puts It on,
hath gone.
For then he hath vanilla on the bosom Of his
vest,
AMI streaks Of red raspberry maize his trousers
seem q lest,
While chocolate and ginger give a tigerlike effect
TO the balance Of the garments in which he's
proudly deoked.
Ills hair IL limp and languid and Is parted square
and true
Above the very center Of his nose. which turneth
blue
Daoause he hath TO linger In tho acid and the ice
70 fix up funny mixtures tot the one that hath
the price.
le maketh strange connections in the line Of
fancy drinks.
And all the while he wateheth for persuasive sorts
Of winks.
From early morn he twistcth at the soda water
spout
And turneth the ice orusher til the ice hath given
out.
lie diSgsth in the ice cream, and he rusheth with
the glass.
While his deadly hated rival buys the soda for the
lass.
Yea. verify. the soda clerk he hath a sorry time,
Ter be must know the way TO get nine cents out
Of each dime.
And he must be a hustler that there will not be a
loss
oi ier or gas or water, or he'll tremhie at the
boss.
How often. oh, how often, hath the soda ierker
grinned
At the one who payeth niekcls Ter a penny's worth
Of windl
How often. oh, how often, doth a calm and peace.
full smile
Co hitiing DER his sisage when a drink goes out
Of stylci
but. all. alas. my son. sometimes he fseleth very
bad,
And then Is when the ladies come with garments
rich and gladl
The ladies all the rockers, and the deorways. and
the stools
And insist upon a liquid that both ~elevates and
coos,
And one dcclareth that she'd like some chocolate
with cream,
And when he draweih It s,raightway ''oh. mol"
tie maid doth scream.
And then she yoweth that she hath ALREADY chang.
Ell her mind
And wanted just a phosphate with a piece Of
And vet again the other maids declare they do
not know
Just what they wish. and on and On thsir mild
objections flow.
The weary soda fountain clerk saggesteth this and
that,
From plain old lemon phosphate 10 a dose Of
a%ntitat,
And finally the ladies fair with one consent con-
clude
That chocolate and cream shall be their soda fcun.
tain food.
Now. when he draweth all the drinks his troubles
are not done;
Nay. verify. my trusting child. they are but half
begun,
rer each and every maiden there doth siraightwsy
rise and 2g.
Wow, girls. ri think it's awtsl II you do not let
ne payi'
And al protest, and all object. and all their plans
defend.
And not a enc takes out her purse her lovely cash
% spend
New. finally the soda clerk sassos,eth that each
maid
shall pay tor What she drank, and then beginneth
the trSao.
Fer all the ladies Wv in wrssh-yea. yea. they
almost sob
Tat they viii his employer see and take from
him his JOB.
And then they take their parasols and sternly 80
away.
And net a cen, Ct al TIA, hii Do they take steps
t. pay.
The gentle soda fountain clerk he sallesh in a dare
And lesncth en- The sichy tube. and wicked things
be says
IS this rot true. iass as We have composed IT,
with much WORK.
Il esrslv Is and If seu douss 80 al dc soda
elerk.
-Rs,s.moss American.