The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-07-28
9
from the
I ExcbanqeC
Lz~zi -

y" Longer Wild and W""IIx.
We are cultured TO the limit in this famous
Western land,
Christianity upon us has a cinch
And refinement in our actions always plays
winning hand
We are getting there. dead certain. inch
by inch.
AS an ornament the pistol is completely
out of date.
Very rarely do We have a schutzenfest;
We are up with the procession and we mean
TO hold our gait
1t no longer is the Wild and woolly West!
We are short Of desperadoes. scarcely ever
see tough
With a yearninx craze for shooting ul
the town.
And the tenderfoot from Jersey when he
tries to run blum
Undergoes rather hasty calling down.
We are drinking better liquor than We did
in days of yore.
And we go about more fashionably
dressed;
The advancing wave OF progress ouenche6
our burning thirst for gore
1t no longer is the wild and woolly Westi
Not Christian man among US wears hi.
bieecIeS IN MS DO0tS,
And the old wool shirt is but q memory
now,
And We look with disapproval on the ten.
derfoot galoots
Who are sporting big sombreros on the
brow.
We are seen at church on Sunday ere the
trout begin to bite
With holy fame alight In every breast
And were always in our couches at the
stroke of Il at night
1t no longer is the wild and woolly Westi
And our ladies. heaven bless 'em! are ss
modest, nice and sweet
You would think them truant angels from
the skies;
Never see them dash astraddle on theil
hronchos through the street,
Making hoisery displays for staring eyes
Not slangy word or sentence ever ripple.
from their lips,
For high old time they never go ir
quest;
Not gun is ever peeping from the poke,
on their h--s;
1t no longer is the wild and woolly WestI
oh. you bet your filthy lucre, we're refined
to beat the band.
We have culture to distribute to the birds,
and the brand of fresh morality We ALWAYS
keep on hand
Souldnt be described in common rhymey
words
We in every moral attribute are strictly
recherche.
And that same's no pipey. visionary Jest
And We love the rugged country into which
We've come to stay
1t no longer is the wild and woolly West!
Denver Post
Janftors.
those who think there is nothing like
| Janitoring and those who are glad of It.
And this isn't as complicated as II
sounds The first mentioned are gentlemen
Ianitors, to coin expression, and are per.
haps in charge of a building. even to rent
/ ing the offices. In any case, they have a
force OF men to do the work. AS for the
second, they are in 1.-The Lord High Every.
thing Else" class of the janitorial scale
They not only see that the work is done
! but do it themselves. The broom is Their
| badge of servitude, and '.Ah, woe is me,'
| is their slogan.
long search failed to reveal a halfway.
| between Janitor. As before intimated. they
! are either happy or the reverse. Now
there's John Keegan. He is in the forme,
| class And with pride he can point to an,
crack or Granny in the post office withou
| any necessity for saying: "Out. vile spot.
your pardon, Mr.. Shakespeare
He employs seventeen men and thirteer
/ women. Few die and none resign" says h,
! even though there is eight hours a day a.
: good, solid work
/ While some janitors object to serving tn,
general public those in the post office ar,
instructed to be polite to the ladies' an,
! kind to the babies" not to mention tn
lords Of creation. To be plain, they mus
! answer all questions, no matter how idiotic
There are LIS of these rooms to be ken
in ''apple-pie order"-whatever that is.
f, We must admit that there is the jack of
ail-trades sort of janitor.
He, too, comes nearer the real meaning q
the word, which Is doorkeeper. However, h
has SO many other things to do that h
fairly forgets this part of his job
He has his troubles, and. as proverbiall
stated, they are all married lido not com
singly), and have obeyed the biblical com
n,and as to multiplying.
Some women" says he. even want m
to take their cards up
And as for questions. why, book agent
often ask you for diagram of the charac
ter of the tenants of the building.
Then there's the person who come
round and asks you where So-and-So, VIII
was in $50. is now! An wen there's bee
a dozen in the room since him."
The ubiquitous small boy makes himse
felt at this juncture by interrupting with
Say. mister, will you hold this pup Will
i goes up to 617?" But the janitor passe.
and we escape without learning the fate c
the bull pup.
In the very next building visited however
one is equally amused-a perspiring ma
rushes in the demands: Did you see
blond lady in a blue body go up the bac
stairs?' And here's where we vanish.
We simply had to do something to get 1
the class with the lady who had evident
| ly escaped a circus.-Philadelphia Record
The Young Man Wants Advice.
1t was the second time that the her
of the story had accompanied the youn
lady home. She asked him IL h
wouldn't come in. He said he would.
Sarah took his hat. told him to sit dow
and left the room.
She was hardly gone before her mothe
came in. smiled sweetly, and, droppil
down beside the young man. said:
Il always did say that IL poor but n
spectacle young man fell in love with on
| Sarah. he should have my consent.
The young man started with alarm!
she has acknowledged to me that st
loves YOU" continued the mother, Fan
|