The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1901-11-07
M ELINDA'S
Iva WEDDING.

!: IVA WEDDING. !:
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When Melindy Virgins got engaged
to Pelig jerks, her ma wus just tickled
to death. Beaus was scase down to
Punkinville, fur none of the young men
would stay arter they wus growed up.
Besides, Pelig is real forehanded and
quite a catch.
His ma was sot ag'in his margin at
all, and Melindy she wouldn't never
hev caught him eff she hadn't took airly
mornin walks bout the time he went
over to his place of business and met
him as eff by accident.
I am told that he proposed by Tag
CARTS barn and wus excepted in front
of the shoemaker's and gave Melindy
her engagement ring jest this side Of
the blacksmith's.
Well, Mrs. Virgins she wus real sot
up about it, and she said that Melindy
should be dressed up as much as any
bride there ever had been in Punkin-
vile, eff not leetle better. But Mr..
Virgins, Melindy's pa, he come of
close family, and he wus near himself
'twus his mater to be-and when Melin-
dy's ma asked him fur money to shop
fur the things he jest buttoned up his
pockets and said, "Naw." He oilers
Pronounced no that way when he wus
sot. Nav" seq he, II amt toiled and
moiled forty odd year fur to let my
money be spent like water. You kin
make list out of what is wanted, and
I'll get it,
Well, when he spoke up like that Mrs.
Virgins she knew 'twusn't no good
talkin, so she said, "P'raps you air
right, pa" and she wrote down some
things and kinder winked acrost to Me-
Indy, who wus beginning to cry at the
idea Of her pa, that didn't know caliker
from blankets, a-choosin her weddin
clothes.
The help saw all that and heered
what wus said and naturally told folks.
Well, that AFTERNOON Mr.. Virgins
went to town to sell his potatoes and
got the money and come down on the
boat as usual.
The boat land.n is in quite lonesome
place, and he went home by a sort Of
| side path anyways, and just about dusk
the Browns heard a howlin in the pic
| mic woods and, goin to see what it wus,
there WIS old Virgins tied to tree.
| He told 'em he'd been beset by rob-
bers and that they wus so fierce and
furious he'd been obliged to give 'em
every cent he had. He described 'em
as most outlandish critters He said
| their hair wus like cotton wool and
their faces black. Their hats wus tied
on with big handkerchiefs. and they
wus queer and SLOPPY in the small of
their backs. Their hands and feet wus
sort Of small and skinny lookin. and
they had blue overalls and linen busters
on. He said 'twusn't their strength that
overcome him. but their bein so spooky
and supernaturallike. And one Of 'em
said in boiler voice. Little you know
| who we be-" and the other: "We're TAX
In your money because you don't per-
vide as you eshenld fur solemn occa-
sions. Beware ia futurer'
When he got home, he cried and said
he wished he'd Civ Mrs. Virgins the
money for Melindy's things, but she
said 1t happened fortunate that her sis
ter, Meiindy's aunt, had sent her a
present fur her weddin.
The help now, she don't think them
robbers wus supernatural. and she SEE
If ever Mr.. Virgins finds out the truth
she dunno what will happen to Mrs.
Virgins. kinder think myself that
the robbers wus Mrs. Virgins and
Melindy dressed up in some old clothes,
with cotton batting wigs, and don't
blame 'em.
Well, Melindy had her clothes after
all, but before they wus finished Mr..
Virgins he'd got over his skeer and
got as mean as ever again. and he
wouldn't give his unfortunate wife moth
in extry for the supper. She borried
The Tide Of Fashion from the Rabbits
and found out that she'd orter hey
chicken salad.
But Mr.. Virgins. he said he wus
sellin his chickens. not devourin Of 'em
hum. and suppose what she had done
before kinder weakened poor Mrs. Wig
gins conscience. for. seein her own
coops wus locked up. the poor soul went
around to the neighbors and stole one
| chicken apiece from each OF us. 1t WIS
kinder just to do it that way when she
might have took 'em all from one of us.
and those of us that caught her at it
made up our minds not to say nuthin,
but jest to pray fur her and we'd sent
| over word that IF there Wus anythin
we could do to call on us. And per-
haps she felt we'd be willin to spare
| ho chi h,1f olx
ing fur 'em.
| Well. she got the things together
| somehow, and she cooked the chickens
and made the salad and borr led chany
Of most Of us and got up real fust
rate supper and sot the table with
flowers. They wus mostly marygolds
and old man, and some folks don't like
the smell Of neither, but the yaller
and green looked pretty, and it wus
all ready for the company when they
cum hum from church.
We that knowed things felt that we
could see marks of innard torture on
poor Mrs. Virgins face, and we felt to
sympathize, fur she wus naturally a
moral woman and a pious one, and
she'd been driven to sin by the mean
ness Of her pardner. You see, she wus
one Of them women that lives fur their
children. Eff she'd been pelican, she'd
hev took all the feathers out of her
buzzim to make 'em beds, and she'd
sackerfced herself fur Melindy. She
looked kinder better when she got to
church. but our minister he wus young
and hadn't married nobody before, and.
bein narvous, he commenced fur to
read the burial sarvice instead of the
marriage sarvice, and we, bein all stiff
with horrer, hadn't presence of mind
enough fur to stop him until he'd actil-
ly buried Melindy as fur as words
could go, and Mrs. Virgins wus in
high strikes.