Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1901-03-13
:: A CONFIRMED BACHELOR :
How the ScoGer Was Trebly
Rewarded.

Edmond de Verneuil had thrown him
self into an easy chair with his chi
bouk and, through the wreaths of
smoke ascending from the fragrant
weed, sat staring in astonishment at
his friend. Louis Duvivier Neither of
the men had spoken for some moments.
At last De Verneuil said, with with
ering look of pity:
"And so you have really determined
to throw yourself into the matrimonial
sea. Poor, unfortunate man! | had
hoped better things for you"
Thanks" replied Duvivier sharply.
"Your compliment at least possesses
the merit of not being banal. l an
nounce to you my approaching mar
riage with a charming girl whom l
adore, and you have nothing to offer
but lamentations"
my friend" said De yerneuil, plac-
ing his pipe on the inlaid taboret be-
side him, 81 never play the hypocrite.
1t is part | have always eschewed,
and upon such a sorrowful announce
ment can only offer my most sincere
coincidence"
Duviver looked somewhat annoyed
as he listened, but the shadow of impa-
tience soon passed away, and he de-
scribed in glowing terms the beauty of
his young tiancee Mile. Helene De-
schamps.
$50 much the worse" said the crusty
bachelor. "Your case, which at first
seemed only dangerous, is now incura-
BILE, and your happiness. which appear
ed probable, is now no longer possible.
To have a pretty wife, sir, is to be de-
voured by jealousy"
Mile. Deschamps is wealthy and
possesses a fortune in her own right"
calmly observed Duvivier, without
commenting on his friends remarks.
Then, with her luxurious and ex-
pensive tastes, she will simply ruin
you, my dear fellow" retorted De Yer
neuil.
But Louis Duvivier did not intend
to be disturbed by Edmond de Yer
neuiis bitter comments and followed
the announcement of his fancees
wealth by declaring that her mamma
was charming.
Then you will have that bette noire,
mother-in-law," growled DE Verneuil
Your ruin is complete, old fellow, and
haven't the slightest hope for you"
Duvivler laughed good naturedly and
assured De Verneuil that, notwithstand-
ing his paradOXes, he expected him to
be present at the wedding and to act as
groomsman. You are my oldest and
best friend, Edmond" said he coax
ingly, land for these reasons you ought
not to refuse my request
"And precisely for these reasons 1
must decline" tartly responded De
Verneuil, for | should feel as though
were assisting at your electrocution."
"Then if you will not consent to act
as best man." said Duvivier, with
genuine disappointment, promise at
least to be present at the wedding"
De Nerneuil looked at him for a mo-
ment without answering. He was real
ly fond Of Louis Duyivier, and their
friendship had been one of long stand
ing. He disliked to appear unciyil. so
finally he said, well, perhaps, but do
not count on my coming"
Decidedly" exclaimed Duvivier, a
little yexed. You are still an antago-
mist to matrimony"
"Irrevocably," was the laconic an-
swer of De Nerneuil
Then you never intend to marry ?"
asked Duvivier.
Il should prefer to send a bullet
through my BRAIN" promptly answered
De Verneuil. Expeditions means are
preferable to slow ones" he added en-
phatlcally.
Then you propose to remain always
in solitary bliss?' said Duviyier laugh
ingly.
Pardon me-" said De Verneull, stop
ping to ill his pipe, you should say in
dependent bliss. From a wife, children
and family may heaven preserve me!
For wife" he continued waxing elo-
quent, "means loss of liberty and the
obligation of following her caprices in
stead of your own. You must go out
when you desire to remain in and re-
main in when you wish to go out At
table you must eat madame's dishes
Instead of those you prefer yourself,
listen with an interested air to lot of
insipid gossip plentifully sprinkled with
the latest hints in the fashions of bon
nets and hats and meekly receive re-
proaches, recriminations and Jealous
suspicion. And children. Why my
dear Louis, the very sight of an infant
brings on an attack of indigestion! And
when they grow up, if they are boys
they devour your money by getting in
to all kinds of scrapes, and if they are
girls they must be lowered before
they can be got rid of. So, with Cyra-
no, say, NO, thank your And then
that other delightful appendage of mat
rimony, a mother-in-law! Why, the
very thought of her makes me shudder
Now you have in a nutshell, my dear
boy, the wise reasons which prevent
me from committing the folly of matri