The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1901-08-10

through the gate as soon as possible an'
avoid being crowded to the rear or hav
! ing your gown crushed until it resembles
tramp's overhalls after he has spen
the night patting the soft side Of
brakebeam. Having escaped beinl
trampled under foot, learn to lower YOU
voice, as il is not just the cheese tc
holler in presence Of royalty like dci
locked up in barn. Wit is the grea'
passport 10 favor among the peeressei
and duchesses. and II you can make
some bright remark In coste' cockney
or sporting slang, you may be sent ioi
at some future function But don't gel
gay and personal and refer TO some old
person who pays for one seat and II
compelled by nature TO use three az
likley 10 be scratched on the books ioi
carrying too much weight, or to some
young thing as primrose floating m
a pot of beer. They may be second
cousin to a chambermaid the DOwager
Empress of Bazootoland. and rs a Ger
man would say, your vermaledei!e
Uugeschicklichkeit would put a kibosh
on your society future that no amount
of murmuring TO the Queen OF rubber
ing around the Houee Of Lords would
ever overcome. Backing away from
the grand stand and not getting your
feet tangled in heharness is the hardest
part Of the whole program. To prevent
accidens number OF fluffy Old beef
eaters are kept handy by, armed with
short fshpoes and when they see one ol
the fillies is liable to get her train over
her head instead OF over her arm, they
run a pole into the pile of gauzy and in
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS and carefully steer
her out OF the breakers. 1t is necessary
10 be handsome to secure presentation
comm from the King, much more 80
than IL was from the old Queen, who
went in for goodness alone, and before
whom many an American beauty re-
ceived compliments who wouldn't at
tract attention from travelling man fol
a hide and tallow house in this country
Sometimes there is such a jam at Z
drawing room OF royalty that the usheri
have hard time keeping the older ami
mails from crushing the younger anC
they have 10 get right in among them t'
keep the feebler ones on theft feet, like
cattle-punchers with lot Of steers IL
an over-crowded box.car. There are
other dangers attending a maiden's frs
presentation at 81. James, and she car
thank her stars and stripes when sh'
has at last got under the wire, EXTENDED
her hand bare backed to 'Seine
Hoechstwuerdigste Majestaet' anC
backs away with the strings OF pearl
hired for tho occasion palpitating anon
the corn-starch on her virginia. bosom
knowing that she will be source 9
pride and envy among the girls all tn
rest Of her life.
Every cow-path Is a lovers lane "
the lovers are there and understand
their business.
The newspapers OF the state keep u
. great howl about who shall be II
, nominee for Governor and who shall b
!, Senator, when these matters are mer
= bagetelles, compared TO the State oilicii
! graft, the scalp bounty graft and th
. normal school graft. The scalp boun'
u graft is IA fraud pure and simple
:. throw money among the constituents
q cow.county statesmen and TO enab
o them to rustic votes among the stumpa
n OF the burnt-tinber precincts at staI
q expense. In Marion county as high
'e seven thousand dollars year was pa
al out for squirrel, gopher and cEipAuf
z scalps, and since this draft on Il
20 Treasury has been abolished there is
" evidence that:there is not just as mu,
! prosperity 10 the square inch, except
~ the fellows who got the warran
Vi The donation OF nearly 100000
Q normal schools Is colossal hold-up
IN a state with only 100000 voters, I
10 thousand dollars apiece for the f
IN state normal schools would have be
~ liberal treatment. That is about
70 that Ashland aud Drain, asked and
no was a liberal amount. Bat the che
ne politicians from UmatIlla aud the
Ap ligious statesmen from Polk are
us devoid Of modesty Ne a New JerI
~ mosquito is OF mercy when ID lights oI
IN sleeping infant. The over.reach OF
In Normal School combine ought TO kn,
~ that industry In the head There is
It's more reason for their having appropI
nd tions than any one OF dozen institute
that graduate teachers in norI
course that do not get cent, but h
10 compete and be taxed TO supp
State Normal schools. IL would be
better for the teaching profession II I
We we're obliged ogo to some college
sh university and get their training
ed teach, because then they would h
no some all-around culture and someth
in TO show that they we're fitted 10 10
ON children besides cheap diploma
his that painful expression that 90 mi
,ld wear, which says, "l'm going Io to
ar or die In the attempt" II a Nor
ia School department at the State Uni'
at. sity or Agricultural College were
II, only professional teachers school In
lin state We would not got nearly 80 ma
be but great deal better school teaoh