davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1901-04-19
war.
THE GREATEST OF EVILS.

War is one of the greatest plaques that
can atlllct humanity; it destroys religion,
it destroys states, ii destroys families.
Any scOurge, in fact, is preferable to it,.
Famine and pcStilence become as nothing
in comparison with it. Pestilence is the
least evil of the three, and twas there
fore David chose it, willing rather to fall
into the hands of God than into those of
pitiless man.-Luther.
Were half the power that fills the world with
terror,
Were half the wealth bestowed on camps
and courts,
Given to redeem the human mind from error,
There were no need of arsenals nor forts.
The warriors name would be n name alb
And every nation that should LIT again
Its hand against brother, on its forehead
should wear for evermore the curse of Cain
-Longfellow.
Give me the money that has been spent
in war, and | will purchase every foot OF
land upon the globe. will clothe every
man, woman, and child in an attire OF
which kings and queens would be proud
| will build schOolhouse on every hill
side, and in every valley over the whole
earth; will build an academy in every
town, and endow IL; college in every
state, and fill 1t with able professors
will crown every hill with a place OF
worship, cOnsecIated to the promulga
ton of the gospel of peace; | will sup
port in every pulpit an able teacher OF
righteousness, so that on every Sabbath
morning the chime on one hill should
answer to the chime on another rOunt
the earth's wide circumference; and thu
voice of prayer, and the song of prais,
should ascend like a universal holocaus
to heaven.-Henry Richard.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
subscription WAKEENEY, KAN. SATURDAY, JANUARY
m WAS HEROIC TREATMENT.


From the Cleveland Plain Dealer:
A Binghamton man began to hic-
cough last Saturday. He hiccoughed
up all day and all night and was hard
at it Sunday morning Every remedy
that his alarmed friends gave him
seemed to accelerate the hics. People
sent in from all over town and rec
commended sure cures. And he steadily
grew worse
Then a wise neighbor had bright
idea. He thought it all out by him
self. He went over to the hiccougher's
home and was ushered into the room
where the afflicted one was fast hic-
coughing his life away.
"Hullo,'' said the neighbor in a light
and cheerful tonec rHow's the old
soak this morning.
The sufferer rolled his eyes at the
neighbor in panied surprise.
Don't give me any of your crocodile
glances,'' snorted the friend. IF you'd
quit drinking when 1 told you to you
wouldn't be in this shameful condi-
tien''
.wh-hic-at's th-hic-at?'' gasped
the sick man.
tOh, don't come any of your inno-
cent business on me- cried the neigh
Dor. s'I know you. you old sponge"
The hiccougher's face turned red.
..What-hic-did-yo -hic-call- he
suffered
called you a sponge. you lobster"
beloved the neighbor. You're a pret-
ty object lesson for your unfortunate
children. amt you. you gulping old
hypocrite."
s'Get out of my hic-housei" roared
the sick man.
go to blazes,'' yelled the neighbor.
I'm going to stay right here and see
the last of you- The people on the
street sent me over. Wait until the
old VOLTS gone they said, and then
wave flag out O. the window. They're
going to have jollif1cation supper and
fireworks tonight-and don't you dare
to disappoint 'emi'
This was too much for the hiccough
er. He said several very bad words as
he made a dash at the neighbor and
they raced around the room half a
dozen times-the hiccougher getting
madder at every jump-and then the
neighbor darted through the door and
escaped.
The sick man flung flower pot at
him as he raced down the yard, and
then he suddenly realized that his hic-
coughs had gone
For that was part of the neighbor's
theory you see. He believed that if
he could get the dying man real ex-
cited and angry the af11iction would
leave him. And he proved he was
right.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
Tsyo Canal Roufes Compared.

6OO GQnA kOufeS COMPARED.
Arthur P. Davis, chief photographer
of the IsIhmian Canal commission
contributes to the January Forum an
interesting comparison between the
Panama and Nicaragua canals on the
basis of cost. Adopting the most re-
liable estimates from all sources re-
duces every element of the problem
in both cases to basis of dollars in
vested. Assuming that in either case
the annual tonnage passing through
the canal will be 10000 900 tons, and
balancing the advantages of one ca
nal against those of the other, he esti-
mates that the Panama route would
be the cheaper by 5,400, 900.
1t is the original cost of construc-
ton that makes this scort of compari-
son unfavorable to the Nicaraguan
canal at $134, SOC, 900 and that of COM
pleting the Panama canal at S91, ,100,-
900. This leaves a balance of S43. .700,-
900 adverse to the Nicaraguan route.
But Mr. Davis also answers the ques-
ton, Irrespective of cost, which would
be the most desirable canal if con-
structed? ?" The answer is that Nicar-
aqua would save s15,600,0 900 as COM
pared with Panama The latter would
have the advantage of being shorter
and straighter, making navigation
through-it easier to the extent of the
interest on s23 200, 900, but Nicaragua
would have the advantage of being
nearer to the customary routes of
commerce, which alone is worth the
interest on 5000 ,O00- The items of
health fulness and of local commerce
add $S, ,e0O, 900 to the Nicaraguan ac-
count, which is not offset by Panama's
advantage of s5.000.00O on the score of
maintenance, operation and winds.
Mr. Davis conclusion is that if the
United States can buy out the Panama
canal for less than $50. 100000 it should
do so If that canal can not be had
for less than SAC. 100000 the Nicara-
guam route should be given the pref
erence- 1t must be understood that in
discussing the question Mr. Davis does
SO from purely commercial point of
view Whether one route is to be pre-
ferred to the other for the military
considerations which induce SO many
Americans to favor the construction of
an isthmian canal is matter he does
not go into
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

tor John J. ingalls,, Senator Cushman
K. Davis, Count Mouravieff the brill
liant Russian minister of foreign af-
fairs; DR.. William Liebknecht, the
a5ie leader OF German socialism,. DIR.
Leslie Koeley, discoverer of the gold
cure; Leander Mccormick, captain
of industry and Coils P. Huntington,
captain of finance; General Joubert,
of the Boer army, General Osman Pa
sha of the Turkish army, and Rear
Admirals Philip, Stempel, McNaiE, ST.
card of the American navy, and Ber-
esford of the British navy The sole
representative of royalty in the list is
Humbert, king of Italy, slain by an
assassin
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
The D,sfinsussbed Dead ofIeoo

The literary world has lost Dimitri
Grigorowich, a novelist, not much
known out of Russia, but writer of
great ability; James Martineau, whose
religious and philosophical writings
have attracted wide attention; Rich
ard d. Blackmore, whose Lorna
Doone'' has become standard work;
Friedrich Max-Muller, the distinguish
ed Orientalist; Friedrich Wilhelm
Nitzsche, the brilliant but erratic Ger
man philosopher; Michael G. Mulhall,
the statistician, whose work is the
worlds refer ence book; Stephen Crane,
the young American story writer, who
died full of promise; Charles Dudley
Warner, the delightful essayist, and
Prof. Moses Colt Tyler of Cornell uni
versity-
Music has lost Karl Mil1ocker, the
composer of light operas; Heinrich
Vogl, the tenor, who achieved fame
as Wagnerian singer; Giuseppe del
Puente, the favorite operate barytone;
Sir George Grove; Sims Reeves, the
eminent concert singer; Marie Piccol-
Omini, a prima donna who was the
rage a quarter of a century ago, and
Sir Arthur Sullivan
Art has lost John Ruskin; Jean
Falguiere, the best of contemporary
French sculptors with the possible ex-
ception of Rodin; Paul Jean Clays, the
Belgian marine painter; Michael Mum
kaczy, the great Hungarian historical
painter, and three American artists of
the old school. William H. Beard,
Frederick Church, and Jasper F. Crop
sey. Science has lost but one eminent
representative, ST. George Mivart.
Prominently identified with the ac-
tive affairs of the world there have
passed away John Sherman, ex-Sena-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
Musf Pay Docfor.s Bills.

Two of the physicians who attended
Mr. GoebeI in his last sickness and
the lawyers who represented him in
his contest before the legislature are
going to sue his brothers for fees. The
brothers, Arthur and Justus Goebel,
thought from the great sympathy ex-
pressed for their brother in Kentucky
when he was killed that there would
be no charges for medical attention.
They state this and seem surprised
that they should now be called on to
pay.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
ALAsTER's soBER REQUEsT.


From the King: The policeman had
given his testimony, which was un-
qualifedly to the fact of the old gentle
mans intoxication. Then the old SER
want was called to the witness box.
There was a mingled expression of in
dignation and determination on his
countenance. He testified fatty, to
the surprise of the court, that the old
man was sober when he came home.
The magistrate proceeded to question
the witness:
You say that Mr.. was sober
when he came homer"
Eyes, sir
did he get to bed alone?"
mo, SIR
Did you put him to bed?"
sYes, sir
.And he was perfectly sober?''
Eyes, SIR
What did he say when you put him
to bed?'
Anything else?''
"Yes, SIR
What was it? Tell us exactly what
he said, every word"
He said as how 1 was to wake him
and call him early, for he was to be
queen of the May
The old man was fined
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
IndiSnant.
mamma

whats the matter?'' asked the SYM
pathetic friend.
I'm indignant" said Representative
Husker. I've only just been elected.
but the thoughtlessness of my coll
leagues and their lack of true Ameri-
can local pride fills me with a gloom
which the glories of my new surround
ings cannot dispeI. There is work for
me to do here. Already they are talk
ing about putting this project to build
a canal way down in the Isthmus of
Panama ahead of the new postoffice
and river and harbor improvements at
Swamp Centeri"-Washingto Star.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

nearly a thousand
d e l e g a t e s, the
greater n u m b e r
representing Aus
tria and France,
A few roars from
the gun adopted,
which is shown in
the accompanying
cut will, it is
claimed, frighten
the elements when
they are bent on
sending down des-
tructive hail, so
ludI luey VIII weep
only the gentle and
helpful rain The
machine has been
on exhibition at
the congress in
Rome, and thou
sands of delegates
from all over the
world have inspect
ed and approved of
it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

ing a steel framework At the west
end the large room will be suitable
for a state dining room capable of
seating more than 200 guests. The
end building will probably be used as
a kitchen and storehouse. In the east
and west additions provisions have
been made for the reception of a large
number of guests with all the neces-
sary details of dressing rooms and
wardrobes. On the second story at the
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
Civilization.

Once upon a time some savages,
aspiring to be civilized and observing
with apprehension that the genius of
the Anglo-Saxon race was falling Le
hind its schedule, resolved to do the
trick themselves
Accordingly they massacred their
wives and children, burned their
homes and otherwise desolated their
country.
But who,' they now exclaimed un-
easily, "is to exterminate us?''
The fact that they had not foreseen
this obvious difficulty shows how ex-
treme1y simple they were. For of
course their last state was not sensibly
better than their first.-Detroit Jour-
nal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

been authoritative
ly described as
very exhilaratine
SO long as the mar
hunts the tiger
But to sauntel
about the streets
or through the
green fields in g
howdah, is a nov
city and the young
American woman
who represents the
queen of England
there is entitled tc
the credit of it.
OF course, ali
Calcutta is agog
Such gorgeousness
as is shown in the
trappings of the
elephants m a k e 6
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

west end will be a suite of six bed
rooms and four bathrooms. At the
east end of the second story are si1
additional rooms intended for offices
The new work on the White House viii
cost 81. 100000, including partial fur
nishing.
The plans will be presented to con
gress and must bear the approval ot
both branches thereof before worl
may be begun.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

The deetest quad
ruped known does
not approach the
speed of certain
birds, while it
soon succumbs to
the fatigue they
hardly seem to ex-
perience at all
Three or four hun
dred miles in one
fight is nothing
extraordinary for
the artificially bred
carrier or passage
pigeon
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
It An Depends.

He feeling his way)-What do you
think of a man who leaves his friends
and goes off to the north pole2
She fartlessly)-It depends upon
the kind of man you mean, you know.
You don't mean to say that you think
of going, Mr.. Buffer? Well, l hope
you will have an enjoyable trip.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

The German emperor was at Letz-
lingen on December /, when the CEN
sus was taken, and he filled up his
own card. Under the heading pro
fession" he wrote German emperor,
king of Prussia" The card was franz
ed and it is to be kept in the munic-
ipa1 archives of the palace, while a
certified copy of it has been made and
sent in with the other cards.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

Lady Curzon, vicereine of India,
now glories in the possession of a herd
Of elephants, the gift of the Maharajah
OF Dhurbunga, and elephant parties
divert India's most swell society per-
sons Nobody, strangely enough, had
ever thought of elephant parties be-
fore. True, Europeans went tiger hunt
ing on elephants, a sport which has
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
Careful Speaker.

What did you expect to prove by
that exceedingly long-winded argu-
ment of yours?" asked the friend.
L didn't expect to prove anything
answered the orator. "All 1 hoped to
do was to confuse the other fellow, SO
that he couldn't prove that 1 didn't
prove nything"-Answers
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

ssWhy do you have SO many ca1en-
dars hanging around?" asked the new
clerk.
That's for the benefit of my em-
ployes,', replied the foxy business man.
when any of them feel the need of
vacation ihey can take month on"
Record
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

The three daughters of Senator For
aker, Miss Julia, Miss Louise and Miss
Florence, are the three prettiest sisters
in Washington. More than that, they
are very sensible girls, having been
carefully trained by their wise and still
handsome mother
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
One way to Tell.

Henderson (who has just bought
new pipe)-Can you tell me, professor,
ii this amber is genuine?
Professor-Oh, that's easily deter
mined. Soak it in alcohol for twenty
four hours If its genuine it will then
have sappeared.-Glasgow Evening
Times
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

Gen. Isaac Khan Mofakhammed Dow
let. the new Persian minister to this
country, is a prime favorite in Wash
ington already. The general is not yet
40 years old. handsome, rich and q
bachelor.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

OF these only two were left without
hnal action; nine persons were ac-
quilted, three were detained as insane.
and eleven were convicted and hanged
There were no lynchings. This is q
remarkable record for country OF
over 100000 inhabitants, where the
people are SO widely distributed as tc
make constant police surveillance i'm
possible. One cause for this happy
result is that Canada has not, like the
United States, great cities whose crimi-
nal population is swelled by offenders
coming from other parts of the world
Nor do emigrants from southern Eu-
rope, who are more addicted to deeds
of violence than the races of northern
Europe, settle in the Dominion. Yet
even these favoring causes are not
sufficient to account entirely for the
remarkable smallness of Canada s
criminal record.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

In Rome they have been holding an
international congress to consider the
employment of heavy guns to ward on
hailstorms which have been found to
be SO destructive to crops At the
opening sitting there were present
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
rakfnx Month ON.

Don't you think that shoot rather
well, Roberts %
Yes, sir. Oh, yes, sir. Indeed,
dunno as I ever see a better shooter,
never sir. All you need sir, is to 1T
as well as you shoot, sir, an you'll be
wunner-"-Scraps.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

Conodn.s Freedom from Crime
The annual report of criminal sta
tistics of Canada shows that there
we're only twenty-five indictments Tor
murder IN the Dominion during 1S99-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
1t Depends.

Teacher-A child is born on the 4th
of March, 1901 How old will it be on.
the same date in 1910?
Pupil-That will depend upon
whether it is a boy or girl--Boston
Transcript
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

Hoax-I went through the big lcco-
motive works yesterday and while l
was there heard indications of a
strike.
Joax-You don't say.
Hoax-Yes; Just as 1 was leaving l
heard one workman call another a
lfar.-PhiIadelphia Record.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
ALL A MISTAKE.

Peregrinating Peters - Wudn't yer
like ter be ez happy ez er lark?
Sollem Simpson-Naw; dats all er
mistake. Err lark has ter git up too
early ter be happy.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

The average height of the heavy
raincloud is 1850 yards; of the deli
cate, feecy cirrus, 300 yards.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

erected on the east and another on the
west, each of these being about the
same size as the present mansion and
connected with it by curved wings.
The quadrangle will be completed by
rebuilding the conservatories on the
south end of the grounds. In detail
the new White House will be rich.
The main columns will be fiuted. The
basement will be of granite and the
walls of concrete and marble, inclos-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

His mamma-willie. don't like that
cough of yours, at all
Willie-I amt stuck on it. either.
mamma
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
BrfrEsb ArmYS ScondoL

BrfTESb "A rmY Scandal
The request for the resignation of
Gen. Colville of the Transvaal army.
is taken as the first move by Britain
to clean out the social favorite" gen
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19
YersatiIitx.

Wanted-A steady man to look after
garden and milk COW who has
good voice and is accustomed to sing
in the choir.-English country paper.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

even the Hindoo, accustomed to the
magnificence of their oriental poten-
tates, gaze in wonder. The howdah in
which Lady -Curzon rides is of solid
silver, and the sun umbrella above ii
is of white silk embroidered with
pearls Her mollah wears the royal
livery of crimson and gold and prods
his animal with a solid silver spike
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

The proposed new White House
which may soon be built at the nation
al capital will be really an extension of
the present mansion. The plans have
been completed and the model made
for the enlarged executive palace of
the president of the United States
The designs are the work of Colonel
Theodore A. Bingham of the engineer
corps. United States army. The plans
provide for two buildings one to be
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1901-01-19

erals who are blamed for South Afri-
can disasters General Colville has re-
fused to resign
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1901-08-24
Pointed Paragraphs.

Chicago News.
The sharpest man has his blunt points.
Some men seem to think they are better
than they ought to be.
Sometimes a man misleads people by being
perfectly honest with them.
Take things as they come--then call in a
physician for further information.
Family quarrels wouldn't be SO bad if
other families would only keep out of them.
Some men owe all they have in this world
to others--and some owe lot more than
they have.
Even sensible woman likes to think that
some good man is making fool of himself
about her.
With the exception of fussy woman,
there is nothing earth so disagreeable as
a fussy man.
The man who never makes enemy ma v
be a good man, but it's difficult to deter
mine just what he is good for.
1t must make a man feel cheap when he
hears his wife tell another woman what
bargain she got.
If some people were deaf and dumb it
would undoubtedly be a great blessing tor
those who are compelled to associate with
them.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1901-08-24
Reflections of a Bachelor.

New York Press.
1t is better to have kissed and kissed the
wrong one than never to have kissed at all.
1t is funny thing that most every time
either mans wife doesn't care enough for
other men to suit him or she cares too much
The man that a woman can hate with a
holy HATRED is the man she has never been
able to tempt from treating her with respect
1t is a bad woman who devotes herself to
social duties to the neglect of her child. 1t
is foolish woman who devotes herself to
her child to the neglect of everything else.
There wouldn't be much fun in SHINING if
it were not forbidden.
The surest way for man to get married
is to make up his mind not to.
There would never be any divorces if
there were no flirtations; but if there were
none there never would be any enjoyment
for women.
When woman finds fault with a mans
morality she means his manners; when she
finds fault with his manners she means his
love making.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1901-08-24

If any one has failed to be i'm
pressed with the fact that the recent
storm along the gulf coast surpassed
by far the YOUNGSTOWN flood or the
Galveston horror the morning press
of New Orleans should certainly
NOT be blamed for it. Compared
with the New Orleans hurricane
Johnstown was merely sprlnkled and
Galveston enjoyed a shower-bath.
But it must distinctly he understood
that New Orleans ran up against
the real thing. If we can rely upon
biblical sources and the recent &C
commits in the Picayune and Times
DemOcrat old man Noah himself
will have to divide honors with the
Crecent City.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1901-08-24

In redistricting the State why not
arrange things SO that the platform
writers in Louisiana will not be
handicapped by conflicting interests.
The cotton producing parishes will
be IN position to ask for free
trade, the sugar parishes for a high
tariff, the river parishes for levees,
the timber parishes for protection
on lumber, etc.