Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-06-29


EN- HARD"
eral, the administration, the United
States and the constitution and anoth-
er to ask my advice as private indi-
vidual representing nothing in particu-
lar. Let her 60" ...
"You won't say word to nobodyr
mot to living soul"
"Nor laugh at meT'
"Not even grin"
"Then 1 could get married to six diff
ferent men IL wanted to-"
"Gee whiz, but you don't tell me"
"It's fact, Abe, and l wanted your
advice about 1t. l put an advertise
ment in The Matrimonial Guide q few
weeks ago, and got over 80 answers.
Six different men fell In love with me
before they had read the advertise
ment half through. Three of them have
never loved before, and they can't eat
or sleep for thinking Of me. The other
three are widowers, and, while they
can eat and sleep, I am never out Of
their thoughts. What shall / do about
1t, Abe? can't marry the whole six,
you know"
"They all love you" ....
"They do"
"And you love them" On"
"Y-yes-that is, guess love one as
much as another. I've tried to make
up my mind. but l can't"
"Widow Taylor" said / as l noticed
her blushing cheeks and dimpled chin
"why in grass didn't you give me q
hint that !ou might be persuaded to
marry agaia"
"How could IY' she asked as she
hung her head" ......-
"Mebbe you couldn't. being that you
are hardly more than a young gal, but
If you had II would have been a hear
better. It's not too late as 1t is, how
ever. Go right into the house and sci
down with pen and ink and give then
six men the marble heart, Throw 'en
down, widow, and throw 'em hardP
"But how can do it, Abe? How car
/ wreck six human lives?'
"You can do 1t because you've got to
rye got q cousin who's just come out
here from New Jersey. He's widow
er with $4,000 in cash and patent
washing machine that. sells like hot
cakes. He's gentle, loving, big heart
ed, and he's able to take bridal tout
to Niagara Falls. I'll send him out
here Sunday, and he'll fall in love al
first sight and ask. you to be his'r
within two hours. He won't want yor
for your farm, and you won't wan
him for his $4,000, but it will be fol
yourselves alone"
"Oh, Abe, but you are so good" she
said as she looked up with claspet
hands.
'Tt's my business to be good, widow
Run along now, and wreck six human
lives" ''''.''.
"Won't 1t be awful"
mot a bit. Just slaughter 'em ont
by one as calmly as IL you was club
bing frogs. and then curl your hair ant
get ready for Sunday. That's all, wild
ow, and no thanks are due me. Al
ways willing to obiige and always hay'
relative or two on hand who are OIL
the lookout for a good thing"
l knew that Farmer Winters hat
been laid up with rheumatism, and
didn't expect to see him, but he wa
out Mt his letter box as | drove up, ant
after handed him his mail he said:
"Abe, have you had any private talk
with Mr.. Mckinley iatelyP'
mot very lately. We've both beel
purity busy, you know"
'Do you expect to see him soon"
-Tn few days, guess"
81 hope you will You know Jo
: Smallmap, over on the crossroads, o
course? I've always thought he was
decent man, but two weeks ago hi
dog killed one OF my sheep, and he re
: fused TO pay for it; said the wool o
the sheep got in his dogs teeth an
prevented him from biting tramps-
threatened lawsuit, and what d'yo
s'pose he's doing nowT
"Can't say, I'm sure"
"Well. he's going all over the town
ship telling people that I'm down o
William Mckinley and intend 10 Dol
the ticket. and he's made some folk
believe it. Abe, did you ever hear tn
likes of that?" ........
~ never did"
''rhe idea that I'd be down on tn
president after the way opened bar
rels of hard cider for him last year ant
kept uR such a yelling for tAr"$ ''panth