Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-04-20
4 MANS LACK OF TACT

Last week, SalQ young Soluiupia
Heights matron, 81 spent three days in Bal
timore visiting girl friend who was mar
ried few months ago. She is twenty-five
years old, and was born and raised In
Washington. Her husband-also born and
raised in Washington-is forty-seven. He
doesn't look that by ten years, and Is
fine, handsome. prosperous and thoroughly
likable man. But 1t struck me that he had
one awful, If somewhat humorous, defect
He is too horribly reminiscent.
you see he knew his wife's-my chum's
father and mother before she was born
He had handled her upon his knees when
she was in long clothes, and shaken rat
tie for her, and pinched her baby cheeks,
and all that sort Of thing. And he had
watched her sprout from babyhood into
hoydenhood, and then into hobbledehoy-
hood, and then into young ladyhood, ana
finally into womanhood Consequently, ne
habits my husbands phrase-'such line
on herr
And such an embarrassing reminlscentlal
way he has of calling up experiences OF MS
wife'S earliest youth!
"'Clara Is slender, he conceded with me
last week when I remarked-before her
that she didn't seem to be quite so stout as
she had been year or more ago. ANA She
used to be such buster when she was
about ten years old, Positively, she was so
chubby when she was that age that she
could hardly waddle, and it was feared that
she was going to develop into circus rat
lady, positively! Her little dresses used TO
always look too tight for her-looked as II
the seams were going to come asunder at
the slightest provocation. And she was SO
remarkably developed that-well, l suppose
you went into long dresses long before most
girls do, didn't you Clara?'
And the trouble is that when this good
man gets started "reminiscences of his
wife's infantile days he likes to go right on
with the subject indefinitely.
90 Member the time you had to have all
your hair cut off, Clara?' he said to her one
day while l was there. Little affair rem
dered necessary owing-er-to your contact
with some of the-er-pupils at the school
you attended wasn't it? Let's see, you
were about eleven then, if l remember cor
rectly Great Scott! but you did look odd
my dear, with your hair clipped close to
your head! First time | saw you that way
you were in your front yard on . street,
and you had sunbonnet on, and L missed
the sight of your two pigtails, and l asked
you if you were putting your hair up, and
You began to blubber, and then 1 saw that
your hair had been clipped, and l asked you
why, and you blubbered still harder-holy
smoke! but how funny you looked!'
Now, when these awful "reminiscences
| were only gotten off before me it didn't
| much matter, for I'd known Clara ever
since 1 could remember, but it didn't make
any difference how many visitors were
present, he'd go right ahead making those
terrible illusions to his wife's exceedingly
youthful days. and he never seemed to
catch her eye when she was frantically en-
deavoring to signal to him to cease.
Say, Clara he suddenly said one day
in the presence of a number of their Bal
timore friends at luncheon, I saw lit
tie chap down the street today-he was
sitting by the window of a shanty-who
had the mumps, and somehow or another
he reminded me of you when you had
EN-. Let's see, think you were about
| .t.rl,%
| though. Looked like one of those Brownies,
only more so, and you We're such con-
ceited little miss that those puffed- out
cheeks of yours nearly broke your heart.
By Jove, but you did look funny with the
| mumps"
There was nothing malicious, of course,
about these "reminiscences, and Clara
husband was perfectly unconscious of the
| ridiculous portrayals he made of her in
giving vent to them. Folks who were pres
ent when he was recalling these little
traits and Affections of his wifes child
hood always smiled over them, but they
nevertheless looked curiously at the couple,
wondering, no doubt, how the wife felt to
have it SO openly broadcasted that her hus-
band had been full-grown man when she
was but tot.
I'VE went out to one of the Baltimore
suburbs one afternoon to look at a country
house they were thinking of taking for the
summer, and by the time We returned to
the city Clara was very tired and showed
IT,. :
"Tired, my dear? said her husband.
Well you never We're much of jaunter,
even when you We're little. Member when
you were little bit Of thing, and you'd
be taken down the river on an excursion,
you'd always come back peevish and wall
ing and demanding to be carted off to bed,
and all that. Then they'd no sooner get
you ready for bed than you'd demand some
of the pickles and cakes left over from the
lunch basket. Kinky notions you used to
have in those days, for a fact"
Il suppose that while I was over there
he told of at least hundred embarrassing
and ridiculous predicaments in which he
had seen his wife when she was not much
more than a baby. There was nothing
wrong about it, of course, but nevertheless
it all seemed just a bit eerie to me. I'd
hate to have for husband a male person
who had been grown up and possessed of
| pair Of critical eyes, when 1 was passing
| through the horrid, gawky, interesting
stages of my career. I'm afraid a woman
who finds herself in a matrimonial rela-
tionship of that sort can't pose pretti1y or
attitudiniZe smartly, or put on lugs,' as
my husband says. before her spouse, with
out feeling that it is all too transparent.
and that he is able to quite see through
her. Just fancy having been handled on
| the knee of ones husband-taken to Ban
bury Cross-when one was in long clothes!'