The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1901-12-13
THE MAN FROM MISSOURI.
Met Several Wise Persons Who Want-
ed to BE Shown and He
"Showed" Them

A typical farmer from 'Up-on-the-
Ell<horn" reached Omaha on a recent
Saturday and registered at the Mer-
chants hotel. Sunday morning, after
breakfast, he inquired concerning the
location of a certain church, saying
he wanted to attend the service and
listen to some good music. After
dinner he asked the clerk for a sheet
of writing paper, volunteering the in
formation that he wanted to write
his wife and tell her about the fine
singing and the splendid music
After getting the paper he took a
seat at one of the desks and COM
menced his letter. After he had writ
ten eight or ten lines he walked up
to the clerks desk and asked a ques-
ton, relates John Dicks Howe, in
Judge.
"Beg pardon; I didn't catch that"
remarked the polite clerk.
"How do you spell 'choir'-church
choir, you Inow?"
"C-h-o-i-r," responded a travelling
man, who was waiting for his mail.
"Well, now, maybe you're right"
said the man from Up-on-the-E Elk
horn, somewhat puzzled; "but it
seems to me that q-u-i-r-e is about
the proper thing"
Three or four bystanders COM
menced laughing, which caused the
man with the pen to become indig-
nant.
perhaps you city people think be-
cause I'm plain farmer l don't know
how to spell" he said, his face as red
as ripe tomato.
swell, 1 should say not! Q-u-i-r-e
spell choir? Not where l came FROM"
remarked St. Louis travelling man.
''They may spell it that way out in
Nebraska, but it wouldn't pass in Bos-
ton," remarked another pilgrim from
way down east.
81 wasn't talkin' about st. Louis,
Boston, or any other place; l was
goin' 'cordin' to old Dan Webster,
that's all. Now, when was teachin
school up near Long Pine"
"How would you like to make lit
tie bet that you're right" remarked
a man who had remained silent up to
that time.
well, l amt got no money to
throw to the birds, but I wouldn't
mind bettin' five-dollar bill that
Pm"
"put up another with me, won't
you?" interrupted the drummer from
St. Louis, anxious to be Showed"
I'D like to chip in V on that,
too" remarked the man from Bos.
ton,
The clerk wanted slice of the pie,
and so did eight or ten others, who
had been attracted by the discussion.
The farmer was about to declare the
betting closed when the office
stenographer looked up from her
typewriting and asked to be admitted,
saying that, while it was against her
principles to bet on a Sunday, she
couldn't think of letting a snap like
that pass.
After the bets had been recorded.
the man from Missouri called for a
dictionary. The ancient tome which
the hotel proprietor had inherited
from his father, was handed him.
After turning the leaves rapidly he
ran his finger down one of the pages.
Finally he paused, and look of con'
sternation spread over his counte'
nance.
"Read it, read it," was the cry.
And so he read 'Quire--A body
of singers; a chorus. The part of a
church allotted to the choristers; the
choir"
For minute there was silence
so intense that one could have heard
a clap of thunder in far-away Boston;
then the clerk broke the silence by
handing the 'quire pot to the farm-
er, saying, as he did so: Lets step
into yonder room-I'm getting dizzy
They filed into the room, the man
with the hoe and the pen bringing up
the rear When he came out, half an
hour later, he finished his letter, to
which he added postscript, which
read:
"Thinll I'll stay in Omaha a day or
two longer than l expected. just
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