Sunday morning globe., 1901-09-08
THE old Bachelor
Who Fills the Role Of Assistant Sec
retary Of State.
A HOLY TERROR TO ALL.
And Especially 10 His Long Suffering and Pat-
ont Valet Messenger Some Of Mr. AdeeS
Capars With His Wardrobe, His Clothes, and
His Tea Pots-RdcuIOus Conduct Of High
Official Whose EccentrICtes Ought Retire Him

His Tea POts-RdcuIous Conduct Of High
Official Whose ECcentr.oles Ought Retire Him
Assistant Secretary of State Adee
has made such rapid developments re
Gently in his eccentricities that he has
become the talk Of visitors and en-
ployes, alike, Of the State Department.
Imagine this fussy and eccentric old
bachelor approaching the George Fran
ces rain disease Of the upper story,
managing delicate matters Of state and
discussing state affairs with diplomats.
or deciding questions of Importance in
the absence Of Mr. Hay Although
there is no absurdity Mr.. Adee might
commit which could equal the un-
American policy of English John Hay.
the ally Of monarchial England against
the gallant republican Beers
Mr. Adee, however. is becoming too
absurd to be very much longer toler-
ated Il can be said to his credit that
he has rendered very faithful service
in the past but he has been too long
on the grind, and his mentality. leav-
ing out his short temper, has suffered
accordingly He ought to be retired
as a paymaster in the army with the
rank of captain, a la the important in
diyidual running the White House.
Mr. Adee has a messenger whom he
] has nodded into a valet of the scared
/ to-death variety. This messenger or
/ valet has neither soul nor body upon
which he can claim to have even a sec
/ ond mortgage. And Adee knows it.
/ because Adee owns the valet himself.
To particularze:
Recently Adee ordered this valet.
paiu by ,he taxpayers, to get out q
| pair OF his numerous trousers. In
/ plain Amercan-pants The valet Sc
lected the wrong pair. whereupOn Adee
acted like a wild man. He emptied
/ his extensive wardrobe of every stitch
/ of clothing he possessed and scattered
| them all over the room. When the
valet returned he found Adee standing
| erect in the ruins, like Hannibal at
| Carthage. Scornfully and silently
/ Adee pointed 20 the wreck and tremb
/ lingly and obediently the valet lifted
| article after article and replaced them
/ i'm the wardrobe Adee indicating by a
| gesture the pants he desired to wear
The Assistant Secretary of State has
/ turned his official quarters i'm the State
| Department into a bachelors resort
/ wardrobes. tea pots, and all the acces
| sories Of an old bachelors toilet are
| scattered in profusion all around
| Passing his door after the wreck of
| the wardrobe, we were tempted to go
| after John Hay and bring him over to
| see the room. IL looked as if a cyclone
/ had struck it. Hats boots shoes
/ pants, vests, coats, etc, We're scattered
| Dromiscuously around I'm heaps, while
| the cranky Assistant Secretary gazed
| on his handiwork with a sardonic
| smile.
We regretted. for the first time in
our life that we were not his messen-
/ ger. Adee would have picked up and
/ put away every article and taken his
meals standing for a week, The job
wouldn't count with us as we could
make a years salary i'm one nights
/ lecture on the eccentricities of the As
/ sistant Secretary of State
Imagine this taXeater compelling his
messenger to black his boots, Our
friends i'm the Ohio penitentiary win
see the similarity when only certain
convicts (offcolored) will perform this
mental Office for the officials The
Globe is pleased to note, however, that
the colored messenger Adee had to put
up with for a few weeks during the
sickness or absence of his Caucasian
slave. refused TO black his boots, and
told the Assistant Secretary Of State
to get them shined elsewhere
Mr. Adee's tea pots like the old
maids cats, have caused no end Of
trouble to his valet, and everybody else
around the quarters Of the Assistant
Secretary with this similitude, too
that as the more fighting the more
cats. so the more Adees tea pot
troubles eliminated the greater the
number and variety of the tea pots
which accumulated i'm the hands of the
valet. as everybody around the State
Department sent Adee tea pot to re.
imburse him for the one broken. But
Adee would not be pacihed, and after
weeks Of turmoil, his old tea pot was
mended or glued together and restored
to him. Then peace spread her white
wings for awhile and the valet breath
ed easier and even INDUCED the hope
that maybe after all he would live
out his remaining days in peace. Vain
hope Adee broke out in a new place,
and the wardrobe, the shoes the boots,
the pants, and the tea pots went on
another jamboree much more destruc-
tive than the one related. Having,
however. reached the limit Of the space
which even an Assistant Secretary OF
State Is allowed in The Globe, we close
for the present, with the hope that
Adee will be pensioned OF by our next
issue,