Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1901-11-29

4LN-. la
Charles-Did the tailor take your
measure? Algy-I think he did. He
said I'd have to pay in advance.-Tit-
Bits.
Briggs-I hear you have been operat-
ing in Wall street. Griggs-A great
mistake. I've been operated upon
Harper's Bazaar.
81 wonder what papa always calls
mamma Honey for:' queried little
Margie. 81 don't know" replied her
small brother. 'unless it's because she
years a comb"
what reform are you interested In
now?" IT am advocating that people
be paid double for the work they do
when they don't feel like working
Chicago Record.
II was in the South African war;"
said one Englishman. Generals" asked
the other. mo, journalist" "Oh, l see.
You were Il reporter; not u regretter."-
Washington Star.
An Easy Rule Hard to Follow: Rex
Its easy to wiz a woman's love; just
give her all the money she wants. Blox
You don't call that easy, do you?-
Detroit Free Press.
Rushed: Parke-Are you doing much
in your business now? Lane-Well, I
should say so. Why, we are so busy
that we employ q man to insult new
customers.-Town Topics.
"How is brother, Tommy" Ill in
bed, miss. He's hurt himself" How
| did he do that?" I'VE were playing ut
who could lean fartiest out of the Win
dow, and he Won."-Tit-Bits.
Farmer Honk-Your niece. that's just
graduated from the academy, does IAN
cy work most of the time, doesn't she?
Farmer Flintrock-Yes; an she don't
fancy work o of the time.
Faith in Him: Towne-Do l UNDER
stand you to say that Spender's case
was really a faith cure? B~rowne-Yes.
You see, the doctor and the druggist
both trusted him.-Philadelphia Press.
Interested Party-And so you ara
married now, Lydia? 1 hope your hus-
band is a good provider. The Bride
Deed he is, missus! He provided me
three new places to wash at last week.
Don't you miss your husband very
much now that he is away:' "Oh, no!
At breakfast l just stand his newspaper
up in front of q plate, and half the time
l really forget he isn't tllere."-Ex.
change.
Beginning at Home: Jasper-I TN.
derstood that you had turned over a
new leaf, and were even going to love
your enemies; but it seems to me that
you love no one but yourself. well. ]
am my own worst enemy."-Life.
Sufficient Evidence: Sambo-Whal
you get dat chicken? Mark Anthony
Nebber you mind bout dat chicken.
faint yours. Sambo-How you know
faint? Mark Anthony-'Cause 1 fourx
hit in youah coop.-New York Weekly
Here's a distinguished scientist who
says that, after all, there is nothing in
germs" Nothing in germs? Nom
sense! Why, look how much the doc
tors have made out of them."-Detroit
Free Press.
90 sir. please. l have swallowed a
pin!' exclaimed a servan girl. running
into her employers room. Never mind.
Mary" he replied, deep in study, "nev-
er mind; here's another" drawing one
from his pincushion.
"Those strings" said the first fish,
Changing down in the water with
worms on the end of them mean dam
ger" How do you know:" asked the
other. 'Oh. l can read between the
lincs."-Philadelphia Press. !
els you gwine ter let dat newell do
as he please?" asked Uncle Ephraim's
wife. 'Wha's you will power??' MY
will powers all right" he answered.
"You jest want ter come out hyar am
measure dis here mewel's won't pow
err"
"How much are you getting for that?"
he asked the man, who was moving
the lawn. Nothing" replied the man.
Then you're a fool" 81 know it; but
as 1 own this place, and can't get away
from it, I've been u fool a long WHILE"
Philadelphia Record.
Kindly Visitor-Mrs. A., what do you
suppose makes you suffer so? Mrs. A.
Il don't know. l am sure; and / be-
lieve nothing but a ~post-mortem will
ever show. Kindly Visitor-You poor
thing! You are so weak that you can
never stand that.-Tit-Bits.
81 think I'll have some of those crul.
lers," said Jones at the lunch counter;
"don't you want some?' NO" replied
Smith; "they don't agree with me-"
"That so2" "Yes; 1 couldn't even eat
the hole in one without getting dys.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Record.
Mike" said Flooding Pete, do you
t'ink it does a man much good to go
troo collcge?" Not much" replied
Meandering Mike. 81 went troo a coll
lege once, an all 1 got was two die
tioneries an a suit of football clothes.
De swag wasn't wort de risk."-Wash-
ington Star.
1uvors% ~ 1,o ep1opd;J crl,,. -. -