davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
,raxas M AZ Fuel,

Average producing well at Beau-
mont. Tex, pours forth 10000 barrels
OF oil each day. Same at 20 cents per.
barrel gives owner $4,000, or, annual
~, SIS, liz, 00O Such figures have startled t1
the world, but they remain undisputed
facts nevertheless. Now figure out
lyour own profit on the following sure
facts. One hundred dollars invested n
an oil company capitalized at SSoo,ooo'
owning valuable Oil properties ad5oin-
Ing these great wells. II you are blin a
folded to facts then figures are lmnla 4
teriaI. Small capitalization means I'M
m,ense returns to stockhold ers. The
United States Fuel Oil company ths
new Minnesota home concern, has IS.
placed on sale a small portion Of It's
guaranteed mona sessable. fully -pala
stock at the opening bedrock nrst.
issue price OF -Four cents per snare al w lSs
buys $50 shares, $40 buys 500 shares,
$40 buys 1000 shares, 500 buys 800
shares. This amount could make you
rich: this is not Impossible, and some
day YOU will be startled. Should High
Island come in every share would lou Sc sell
above 81. This local will not appear
again. Send all remittances and letters
at once to the United States Fuel 8G -ll.
company, Nos. 144-146 Nnd1cott Bulld-
ing, st. Paul. Minnesota.
Be sure and mention this paper when
you write. s.sHl #
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
coMrse no An usDERsrANDING.

COMING TO AN UNDERSTANDING.
Mr.. Frank r. Stockton, the novelist.
was at a southern resort recently and
there met a Baptist clergyman. In the
course OF their conversation the min
lister called Mr.. Stockton doctor" at
which the novelist was much annoyed.
I'm not a doctor" said Mr. Stock.
ton. \.
Nor" questioningly. But doctor,
I'm told the women Of the smart set,
or so-called 400, in New York drink a
great deal"
II don't know" said Mr.. Stockton.
but ] do know that I'm not doctor"
MOI" again, questioningly. But
adoctor, I'm informed that drunken
ness is on the increase among those
ladies'"
#fs" i don't care replied the novelist
so long as you don't call me doctor
because I'm not one. II
II MOP" queried the clergyman for a
third time. But have been told that
when they cant get LIQUOR they drink
their cologne, doctor" .t5 . IN
"Oh," sighed Stockton, you refer,
Of course, to the Colonial Danes. -
New York Sun.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
FORGOT HER PART.

From the London Spare Moments: "A
well-known countess was announced
to speak at a costers' gathering in the
East End recently, so the little daugh-
ter Of one Of the costers flower sell
er--was deputed to present the count
ess on her arrival with a beautiful bou.
squet.
The evening arrived, with an enthu-
siastic audience in the hal, and pres
emily the countess was announced.
The little girl, who had been coached
as to what to say, walked along the
platform to where her ladyship stood,
and In her confusion convulsed every
one with laughter by shouting out;
ERE yer are, mum. Only a penny a
bunch market bunch fer penny"
The countess smiled. accepted the
flowers, and the child got the penny.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
Chumple igh-Y on say my cousin was
a high-strung young fellah? &5 NJ
Boozefghter Bill Yas, 'speshly after,
he stole that boss.
. BEHAVING LIKE 4 a lady.

A little girl from an East End slum
was invited with others to a charity
West End Of London. In the course Of
the meal the little maiden startled her
hostess by propounding the query:
Does your husband drink?
VI Why, no., replied the astonished
lady Of the house. n
After a moments pause the minia-
ture querist proceeded with the equally
bewildering questions:
" How much coal do you burn? What
is your husbands salary? Has he any
bad habits? 2"
BY this time the presiding genius Of
the table felt called upon to ask her
humble guest what made her ask such
strange questions.
Vel, /" was the innocent reply,
mother told me to behave like a lady,
and when ladies call at our house they
always ask mother those Questions. -
Spare Moments.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
,sYou will be cold" he said with un-

You will be cold" he said with I'M
usual thoughtfulness,
She went back to the drawing-ro
in search Of a sllvery scarf that she
used !. She threw 1t carelessly over her
head and shoulders, where 1t looked SO
picturesque and became her so well
that he could not help noticing 1t.
M This is dull work being here alone. :"
he said.
!. 1T Is dull for both Of u.s. she re-
piled briefly.
!" All, yes; do you know, I had quite
forgotten you were alone as we'll.
You must find 1t dull, too. We will
ask some people down at once this
kind OF thing will never do. I wanted
to ask you, do you know anything Of
billiards.
Billiards. she repeated. wonder-
ingly.
"A Yes many ladies play remarkably
well. Lady Courtenay does. 1t is
such great resource" sss3
DO you want me to play with YOU z"
Sne asked, quickly.
Yes, am bored to death. am
tired Of smoking, / never read much,
and there Is nothing to dc" 81
Extraordinary" she cried-"noth-
ing to dot
What do you mean?" he asked
81 mean nothing. ! am very sorry.
have seen a billiard table; but have
never played, ! will try to learn. Is
you like,
Beginners are generally very awk-
ward" he said, frankly. II cannot
think how it is that have forgotten
to ask any one over. ! must not be
SO remiss again"
Do you never amuse yourself :" she
asked.
NO. How can 4? I am essentially
a sociable being. / feel little interest
in myself. ~" IL
1You would rather be amused than
interested?' she asked.
He thought for half a minute before
he answered.
II see,' he said. Eyes, prefer
amusement to anything else.
1T Is a great pity that you cannot
initiate the kings OF old, and keep g
court Jester with cap and bells. "s5:8
Lord Caraven looked at her. 1T
could not surely be possible that this
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05

wife Of his, this money-lender's daugh.5
ter, was presuming to be. satirical with
him. They walked down the terrace
until they reached the rustic garden
seat, and with an air Of utter exhaus-
ton the earl sat down. Hildred took
her seat unasked by his side.
The night wind was sweeping round
them, bending the tall chrysanthe-
NUNS, stirring the dying leaves
sweet fresh wind that was as odorous
as palm. The twilight was fast fad
ing, the birds had long since ceased to
sing, there was a pleasant brooding
sense Of rest and Of freshness.
CTo be continued.)
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05

was magnificent, autumn flowers were
blooming, autumn tints were over the
land. The day had been unusually
warm and sunny: Lord Caraven had
invited some friends to dinner; as they
lived at some little distance, and they
could not remain for the night, din
ner was ordered earlier than usual.
It was only twilight when the guests
drove away, and Lord Carayen, having
no one to play billiards with him,
sauntered restlessly through the
rooms, thinking to himself how fool
ish he had been not to provide him.
self with a companion for that most
interesting Of all games.
i must not let this happen again."
he said. "To live here alone requires
more strength of mind than / am pos
sessed Of"
It did not occur to him that he was
not alone--that he had a fair young.
wife near him. He never thought Of
her at all. He would not have remem-
bered her existence but that, wander
Ing aimlesslg along the terrace, he saw
her in the drawing-room.
Seeing her, he thought it was pos
sible she understood something of
billiards, although women never
know anything useful" She saw him,
and, fancying from his manner that
he wished to speak to her, she opened
the window and went out to him.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
BY CHARLOTTE N. BRAE. nj.

CHAPTER xI.--(C Continued.
X Il will care more she said, making
d desperate effort to rouse herself.
What am ] to dor
Amice was all animation. She
brought out a beautiful dinner dress,
dress that looked like a soft black ''''
cloud tinged with golden light.
Amber and blackw said Lady Car ar.
aven. Surely ! ann dark enough
Amice? Lord CaraveD likes every
thing about him bright and fair; !
should wear something lighter II I
mean to please him" 6
"You promised, my lady, that !
should dress you as ! liked to-day.
1T does not matter" she said, indll-
ferently;; and SO the amber and black
was worn.
Nothing could have suited her better.
The low dinner-dress showed the ex-
quisitely nodded neck and shouiders,
the rounded arms; it displayed the
beautiful contour Of a figure tau anu
graceful The mass OF dark waving wa vi q
hair was arranged in thick shihiAs
coils fastened with a diamond arrow;
one dark crimson flower lay IN their mel
depths. A pearl necklace was ciasped
round the graceful throat, bracelet
round one Of the dimpled arms.
Amice's pride was great; there might
be. a thousand ladies present
could be SO beautiful as hers
Lady Courtenay looked up in wonder
as her lovely young hostess entered
the drawing-room. She turned 70 the
earl, with whom she was most lnti-
mate they had played together When .t
children.
How falsely people speak .'@ she she
said. Il heard that you had married ialr1'i
great heiress. but that she was quite
plain little schoolgirl. must con-
graduate you on the rare beauty 81
your wife. I" 4.
Little she certainly is not, re-
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
Hnnny, Boy,,

OIdenburg, H., Sept e: -'Ihe uoc-
tors All failed in the case of little thir-
teen-year-old Willie Kell, who suffered [tlrst
with acute rheumatism.
For over three months the poor lt 1,l'ss
fellow suffered excruciating torture
His father, who had done everything rls
he could think Of, saw a new Rheu lnlsa
tism Remedy advertised -Dodd's Kid Kid
new pills. He bought some, and soon
Mis- little son showed signs Of improve
1nent Three boxes cured MN con- = !.
pletely, and he has not q symptom ~ =
Rheumatism left !,
This miraculous cure of q case when when
had been given up by the physicians
has electrified Madison County, ana
Dodd's Kidney pills are nuch -tall1k cd
Of medicine. 55 IN
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
THE TIME TO LAUGH.
SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL AND
SELECTED.
Justice In DIsrepute or How tho Judge
Jared ina learned Decision Stunt
Humorous Anecdotes and Inci-
dents.
coon LUCK FOR THE GIRLS.

When the subject Of bulldogs was
reached, the Major took hand. or
rather. he monopolized the converse
ton. The Major was Sam r. Little
of near Newburg, Ind, and he gained
his sobriquet as an Indian fighter and
frontiersman sss 3j5
You can talk about your fighters
and your fierce beasts, but / had a
couple OF genuine English bulls that
beat them all. Why, when came to
figure it down those dogs cost me q
fortune in incidentals alone. They
were SO mean that they wouldn't let
anybody come in the yard. Every time
I wanted a pound Of coffee, I'd have to
go after it or hire somebody on the
place to make the trip. Those dogs
wouldn't allow the grocer to come in
the neighborhood. And as for the ba-
ker and butcher, they avoided my
place as il it was a pesthouse.
But that wasn't circumstance to
what they did to the young fellows
who came to see my girls, or, rather,
| IIC BOuSS SIAdt WdulEu LIZ COluc. 8 - ACasl
five girls. They were all pretty and at
tractive, but somehow there weren't
any fellows hanging around my place.
l believe that one fellow did come once,
but one Of the dogs got him as he went
over the fence on the return trip and
he did the mantel act three times a
day for two weeks. But to see those
girls at party or a dance YOU would
think from the way the fellows took on
that there wasn't another girl in the
state.
One day the two dogs got in fight.
Both Of them had these kind Of teeth
that project over their jaws, and when
once they got a hold it took thunder
to part them Well they both got a
hold that day, and as the sky was
! clear the hired hand took an ak. We
buried them together. And don't you
know that the next night there were
half a dozen buggies hitched in front
OF the gate. And 1t kept on that way
until about six months ago. when the
last OF the quintet was married. And
I'm thanking Providence that it didn't
thunder. louisville Courier-J ournal.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
A Juvenile Bunko Man.

Tommy rose, went to the cupboard.
minutes. He seemed to be engaged
with some deep problem.
Papa, he said.
''WelI?', 4. 58 Fl .s NJ s
& DO unto others as you would have
others do unto you that's the Golden
Rule, isn't it, papa 2"
Eyes, my SON.
aAnd it's pufickly right to follow the
Golden Rule, isn't it, papa q?
yes, indeed.
Tommyrose, went to the cupp us'slse
and returned with a knife and 9 large
apple pie. The latter he placed peIore
his astonished sire with great solem-
nifty. ~ tl !.
Eat it, papa, he said San Francis
co Bulletin. 3 4gs
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
DEEP SEA REASONING.

The mermaid who had always con-
tended with much warmth that Rear
Admiral Sampson would come out Of
the controversy with flying colors. was
pressed for a reason for her great con-
fidence.
Why cont you see, If the worst
comes to the worst. " said she, Mr..
Sampson can easily prove an alibi."
The deep-sea reasoning Of a mermaid
makes all the knowledge Of the an
clients look like driveling idiocy."-NeW
York Marine Journal. r
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05

"
found out another accomplishment OF
his Wife's--she was an almost perfect
musician, she sang like on inspired.
The love, the passion. the tenderness.
that found no vent in her ordinary life
found vent in song. The rich, low
contralto voice was more beautiful
than anything he had ever heard. She
sang like one whose whole soul is
turned to song. She had set to sweet
sad music the poets passionate
words
"oh, cruel loye'Ashe changed her
tone
ON, cruel love. whose end is scorn!
Is this the end, to be left alone. q
To live forgotten. and die forlorn e 4
She sang them with such sweet
pathos. It was Of herself she was
thinking. Who was more forlorn than
she--who more neglected? ND
"Oh, cruel love, whose end Is scorn!
What charming musicr' said Lady
Courtenay. Whose is IL? do not
remember to have heard 1t before. and
am familiar with most modern songs
whose is it?'' s-
My own" replied Hildred. When
ever words please me very much, they
always set themselves to music in my
own mind !"
THE words are 80 sad To. live for
gotten and die forlorn I? How can
they please one so young as you? n
1T is the fate Of many, said Hill
bred, slowly n
1t may be. but it will never be yours
you. Countess Of Caraven, young,
gifted, beloved
There are many ways Of dying,
said Hildrcd 1T is more bitter than
death to some to live without love; yet
many live without It,"
You have strange thoughts for one
Of your age I should have imagined
that dresses and jewels, balls and
! dances, would have been in your
thoughts rather than sad ideas Of life
| and love-
Should you? like balls and dances
very much, said Hildred, trying to
| speak lightly she had no great desire
| to reveal to stranger the secrets of
her life and heart.
| You never told me, said Lord
4 Caraven to his wife, that you could
sing SO beautifully.
did not? Perhaps you never
asked me II could sing at all.
1 II do not remember doing So" he
said. Have you any more snrprises9'
She looked up at him brightly.
You seemed half-horrified when l
told you that could speak German"
she said. Il was afraid that You con-
sidered accomplishments something to
be concealed. shall never tell you OF
/, any OF mine z
With glance, half laughing, half
naughty, she took up the sheet OF mu-
sic and crossed the room Lady
Courtenay looked curiosly into the face
Of the earl.
tHas you never heard your wife
! sing, really?" she asked.
No, had not. indeed he replied.
IF I were man, and had wooed
SO sweet a songtress, should have
spent long hours over the piano" she
said. II thought you always liked
music so much N
so do do. But did not even
know my wife could sing; she makes
no parade of her talent
NO said Lady Courtenay to her
self, NOR do think that you have
made any great parade Of your love-
/ But she said no more the subject was
/ evidently not pleasing to the earl.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
ABSENT MINDED HISTORIAN.
Cant Call His Own Sons Name, but Is
Punctiiious as to Time.

Can't Call His Own Sons Name, but Is
Punctiiious as to Time.
A personal friend of Prof. Theo-
dore Mommsen, the German historian
and scientist, who celebrated his S0th
birthday on Nov. 80 last, In writing OF
him in the London Telegraph, says that
until quite lately he was up at 5 o'clock
to work on a cup Of cold coffee put
ready for him over night. In his per-
sonal requirements he is the most mod
est OF men, and by no means a house
tyrant; at he comes down to break
fast with his wife and five daughters
still at home, and he likes everybody
to be there. One young lady who was
staying in the house was not infre-
quently not up to time. This neg
lect did not escape his notice. Its a
pity you can't serve your year in the
army he remarked; you would learn
the difference between and half-past'
He can be very cutting in his remarks
sometimes, but they are always tenn
pered to the shorn lamb, though the
full -grown sheep must weather the
storm as best he can. The Berliners,
who dearly love their little jokes. tell
many a story OF his absent mtndedness,
and he has even been erdited with not
having recognized his own little son,
and with having asked him his name
preparatory to requesting him not to
make quite so much noise in 9 public
tramcarsin which he was going to town
from his home in Charlottenburg; and
it is authentic that he put his first
baby into the waste paper basket ona
day and covered it up because 1t cried.
He is, all the same, most devoted to
children, and has had plenty of oppor-
tunity for INDUCING this taste, as he
has still twelve living children, and a
younger generation is rising.
IS g = 4 H.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
rhere 4. SOM thlng ID LucIs.

While most successful men are In
clined to credit their. achievements
wholly to industry. frugality and pe-
termination, leaving out chance or sluck
altogether, there can be no doubt that
some men are more favorable IN op-
portunities than others. AT any "a te,
there is some consolation in this view Icy
Of the earnest man who has not mace
waht the world calls success. ~
should lead him to take life more con con
tentedly and be satisfied to accept the
issue, after. having done his best-InF-
dianapolis Journal. # # 855t
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
An AlIbi.

.sHas my Willie been swimming mere
to-day asked Willie's angry father.
No, sir,', replied the biggest boy ~
the water.
Y Are you sure q .aS f
Sure. Why, it was as much as we
could do to keep him from droWnin'
but we got him out, all right. He s
restin' over there in the bushes now .--S
Philadelphia Press. i5 # !,
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
whites Explanation.

Willie's grandmother gave him 8
penny to invest in candy, and the lit.
tie fellow rushed off in great giee, but
presently returned in tears. Why,
what's the matter, Willie?s asked the
old lady. *Did you lose your cents'
mo. grandma : sobbed Willie, Il
didn't lose it; only swallowed It."
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
/ CHAPTER XII.

BEAUTIFUL even
ing in October; 1t.
W a s as t h 0 Ii g h
s o m e o I t h e.
warmth and sweet
ness of S u m m e r
had returned for
a while. The sky
was blue, the coll
ors OF the sunset
were gorgeous, the
foliage Of the trees
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
well Qualified,

Diggs-That man Morgan ought to
make good yachtman.
Biggs-Because why?
Diggs-He has such marked ability
for raising the wind.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
LITTLE LAUGHS.
Dlsproying Experiences.

What's this, grocery trust?
Humph, we thought the tendency OF
the times in the grocery business was
cash and mo trust. - Springfield
Union.
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05
a Modern yonder.

she's a wonder of the age,
For she is upon the stage,
And you will agree with US if hen
you've seen;
For she's over forty-six,
But she manages to fix
So she looks to be around about siz
teen.
Philadelphia Bulletin,
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05

q 1t is said that less than 80 per cent
of the regular church goers ever COM
plain Of the sermons being too shorA
The Bemidji pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami County, Minn.) 1896-1917, 1901-09-05

"a The Potomac river Is only 500 miles
long, and its lower course is rather an
estuary than stream.
The age-herald., 1901-09-29
Cotton Report.

Washington, September 2S.-The census report on cotton says:
 Although the cotton crop of 1899 east of the Mississippi, which was 5,044,4 bales. was generally regarded as short, that of 1900 was 4,7S1, ,195 a decrease of 813, ,256. This loss was more than offset by the gains in the cotton region west and southwest of the Mississippi. where the yield was 5,341. S32 in 1900, an increase of 25.7 per cent.
 Following is the total crop of 1900 in commercial bales by states:
 ae"'llun, k :6vbgkqj cmfwyp vbgkqjMJjh
 Alabama, 1,06l, 6is; Arkansas, 2S,S2o; Florida, 55,696 Georgia, 1.27o,5s7; Indian Territory. 2SS,114; Kansas, 151; Kentucky 133; Louisiana 714,073; Mississippi, 1055,- 96s; Missouri 27.9SO; North Carolina. 5O9- 341; Oklahoma, 116.S75; South Carolina, 7s0, TSP; Tennessee. 227, ,601; Texas, 3,536, ,506; Virginia, 11,sS3; Utah crop in 800 pound bales, 31.
 It is not given by commercial bales. The census office announces that <e re- ported feasibility of an annual Ut cot ton crop through the agency of ginners
The age-herald., 1901-09-29
.SCHLEY COURT WRANGLES OVER
 DISPATCHES SENT BY ADMIRAL

ippines. It will have nothing to do with respect to the case of officers who rem dered special service in the West Indian campaign.
 The latter class of cases was disposed of by a similar board which concluded its sessions over year ago.
 While the fact that a brevet had been recommended to Congress for Colonel Roosevelt was published at the tune the nominations were sent to the Senate, 1t appears that there were two separate recommendations and the exact basis for the boards action was not made pub lie. Therefore the Adjutant General to- day furnished these transcripts from the proceedings of the board:
 Lieutenant Colonel Theodore Roose- welt, First United States olunIeer Cav airy to be breveted Colonel U. S. V. for gallantry in battle, Las Guisimas, Cuba Juno "A, 1898.
 For gallantry in battle, Santiago d. Cuba July l. 1898, Lieutenant Colone Theo Roosevelt, to be breveted Brigadiel General"