Daily Kennebec journal., 1901-02-04
CONSULTED MIRACLE WORKER.
considerable Trouble Results from Wi,c's
SoiIc'.udc Over Husbands Sprain.

Ihere are so many cures now-a-dav;
Tor all the ills that flesh is heir to tb,.
the uninitiatcd or Iayman rcts c,,-
fused and hardly knows what ism m.
PatIlc to adopt in case of sickness. 4
friend of mine who is rather sccDtir.l
."i al the news things that bob u,
:;cr%ncly here ana there. guaranteed ~
cure While you wait. had rather II
novel experience. 50 he says. ana as
he never tlirts with the truth. we pivc
his account verbatim ana here il Il.
Some time ago had the misfortune
TO fall ana Sprain or strain my knee. II
was ii simple injury, not so painful ~.
annoying as it gave me sort of hir-
coughs IN my walk. My wife good pa
u"nt soul almost broke her neck try
lnS I" keep step with me ana at th~
same time keep her weather eye out
for the advertisement Of some ncv lima
mcnt. like a meteor TO flasn across, tn.
horizon. About this time one of rls-
neiShhoTS appeared Oh thc sccnr ana
with malice aforcthought. led my bet
ter half INTO the secret Of the absent
cure, sort Of Il mind cure with valia-
tons, that is hy the Jir of some hocus
p"llus signs ~" poor Victim Is cured
without his knowledge or consent.
These two Pat tlgir heads together ANA
with the asst 'g,e of i professional
peace deStrcyt who 3grccd to perform
The miracle an. ciusc my leg tn grow
down To its normal sic for valuable
consideration, ny treatment COM
mcnced by prOXy
by listening III t'.o still small hours
Of the night to my Wife's nightmare
oration. caused ~ Doubt by some Of
those pourd-a-cakc biscuit she pridc~
herself on making, / learned the whole
plot. ! resolved ten ana there to have
my inning 50 when NJ knee got wei! ]
shifted over ana limp u a little WITH
the other leg and one G~y informed my
Wife that | believed n1s lame leg was
growing. In fact the doctors said il
had grown some Cnc-and- -une-half
inches more than the other and in his
opinion it was Still growing. Horrors
OF war. My witc's face looked as if she
had just missed buying q dollar article
for - cents at d bargain sale while
visions hoated before her gaze of h-r
legal lord occupying seat of honor IN
4 dime museum as the wonderful freak,
tho man with ono leg. four and the
other seven feet long and still growing
After dinner my wife bolted across
to the neighbor's for consultation and
they then ana there foHmcd themselves
into a committee OF two to call upon
this modern miracle worker and set hcr
to go on Il strike until my well lee
could eaten UP with the sick one. iGt
alas. when they reached the miracle
workers den, the leg manipulation had
departed for new fields and pastures
green and neglected to leave her ad-
dress My wife returned home Win
great burrows of worry on her brow
and is now in a Quandary and hardly
knows what to 90. The idea of adNcr-
tfsing for the lost leg pullcr has suS-
ccstcd itself to her but the expense is
rather bar, Yet she is willing ["
make most any sacrifice rather than
10 be yolcd up to Il slab-sided man an
the rest of her life, 1S-foot tail and sun
.rroUning When she discovers N" ~
in the ointment | may not be visible u
callers for some little time. May pre-
fer TO cat my meals off mantl" l1r
from the maddcning crowd and d"h%
myself the pleasant society Of my VII"
until the tornado has spent It's furF
ana the split zcphyr motto IN green
ana red Of home sweet home IS ore"
moro in it's accustomed plac" over ""
mantle.