Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1901-10-26
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said its mother, but never jump at
conclusions"
All the More Reason: She--Lets sit
out the next one. He-Why, thought
you were fond of dancing? She-I am.
Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Hushmore- You'll have to settle
up or leave. Young Man Lodger-
Thanks, awfulIy; the last place was
nj they made me do both.
"Nan wants but little here below"
remarked the landlndy. And here Is
the place TO get it," continued the face.
tious boarder. -Exchangc.
Little E.hel-Mammn. know why It
isn't safe to count your chickens before
they're Matched. Mother-Why. dear?
Little Ethcl-COz sum of 'cm might be
ducks.-Ohio state Journal.
He-where would you like to live af.
ter we are married. dear? She-As II
I cured-anywhere will do even In a
: $40. 900 house, on a side street, and we
keep only three servants.-Iife.
| A Heated Discussions: AT this point"
/
wept scalding tears" "My goodness
exclaimed the listener. ''shc must have
been boiling over with rage."-Chicago
News.
Sentimental: The capitalist cOlored
when he spoke of the check that hung
In neat frame over his desk. "A bit
Of sentimentalism." said he; the first
billion I ever made!"-Detroit FREQ
Press.
Fleeing from Danger: where are
you going?" asked the house-breaker.
up to detective headquarters" said
the safc-cracker; II have reason to be-
lieve the police nre Oh my trail."-Chi.
cago Record-Ilerald.
The Wifc-My dressmakcrs bill Is
twice as much as expected. The iIus
band driumplantly)-Ah. But l cx
pectcd IL would be twice us much rs
we expected 1t would he. But 1t Il
twice us much rs that.'-I.ife.
Nlanuger-lt's n wonder Roadsley
didn't give you I'm engagement In his
company. lie thinks you're a good
|
Yes: he says you can ask for n big sal
AIRY as II you expected to get IL.
Brains are what count In this day
said the enthusiast. Yes answered
the pessimist; but there isn't much use
Of their counting II you can't put dollar
marks In front of the figures employed
In the process. "-Washington Star.
Disadvantages: Don't you love the
great, beautiful ocean, said the scnti
mental girl. YES" answered the I'm
sentimental man; but Id like 1t better
II IL were not SO full OF watermelon
} RAIDS. lemon pecls. lunch boxes an,
things. Washington Star.
Only an Item: Stranger docking a
State building ut great exposition
And II costs seventy.iive thousand dol
lars 10 put up this insignificant struc
ture! You astOnish me. Attendant
Oh. dear. no! That was merely the sun
the State paid for it.-Chicago Tribune
Patience--ls your preacher sensation
al? Patrice-l should say so. Why
|, he preached q sermon last sunday, ant
he took for his subject It's Hard I,
Keep q Good Man Down." Patience
Well? Patricc-Oh, 1t was all abou
Jonah and the whale.-Yonkers States
, man.
, what n wonderful painter Ruben
, was" remarked Mr.. Jones ut the ar
, gallery. YES" assentcd Mrs. Jones; II
, IL said of him that he could change
, laughing face into a sad one by singh
, stroke" why" spoke up little John
mic. In disgust, my schOolmaster cal
, do that!"-EXchange
|, Quick Work: YOU" said the angr.
customer to the clerk. said that THU
I, cloth was fast color. and 1t faded on
, within two weeks after 1t was mad,
? up." well. madam" replied the clerk
, II don't think you ought to have ex
! pected 1t to fade any faster than that.
, --Pittsburg Chronicle. Telegraph.
. "Ha! ha" exclaimed the Turk. will
I a sinister CLEAN OF his eyes; "the Sui
, tan may insult me to-day, but retribu
ton Is In my own hands," who arr
: you that dare talk Of vengeance Oh thu
/, Sultan!" lone who knows whereof III
speaks" was the naughty answer; :"
am his dentist. Washington Star.
, One day a thief was brought up be
. fore the sheriff for stealing bag o
, coal. When asked what he had dom
IL for he answered: "Oh! Just for
r joke" He was asked how far he cur
rled 1t. 1.-TWO miles," he replied. "Tha
. was carrying the joke too far" reptile,
1 the sheriff; sixty days."--Tit-Bits.
/ An Opportunity. "supposing l Civ
+ you your supper" said the tired Hooking
+. woman; what will you do to earn II:
, MADAM" said Meandering Mike. "Il
D give you de opportunity of seem maj
t go t'roo whole meal wit'out tindin
Y fault wit a single ting" The woman
. thought u minute. ana then told him t.
Q come In and she'd set the table.-Wash
|, ingtOn Star.
) II suppose you went to some eX
D pense In fitting up your house SO as L
l make your summer boarders comfort
( able?" "Yessirree," answered Farme
! Corntassel. II had three thermometer
built especial for the place. They wa
each guaranteed not to register no high
er than 20 degrees. 1t cost little suth
: in. but 1t paid in the long run."-Chi