The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-06-27
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Henry L. Clapp. III 4 COMPANY Sc
eood fellows, oGee said Of : well-kncwn
editor who Vas constantly impressing
people With his own Importance: ~Yee.
he Is seif-mads man. and No worships
his creator"
Thaekeray. anxious to enter Parlia-
ment, stood for Oxford. thinking be
might win the seat from Lord Mcncf.
who then represented 1t. Meeting hts
opponent In the street one day. he
shook hands with him. had = little talk
over the situation, and took leave Of
him with the quotation: May the best
man win" II hone not. said Lord
Monck, very cordially, with kind
little bow.
In a little Western town the other
day the most popular citizen soundly
whipped a tough character. and to vim
dictate the majesty of the law the or
fender was brought up for trial. The
jury were FONT about two minutee.
"Well." said the Judge. what have the
jury to say?" MAY It please the court"
responded the foreman, I'VE, the jury,
find that the prisoner IL not guilty OF
hittin' with intent to-kill, but simply to
paralyze; and he done it." The verdict
was received with applause and the
prisoner received an ovation.
Senator Vest of Missouri tells of a
mass meeting once when certain res
olution was discussed for several
hours. Finally one Of the delegates be-
gan a speech which wandered all over
creation. Some one interrupted him
with the remark that he ought to con-
fine his remarks to the resolution.
Eyes, said Judge Phillips, who was
presiding, 1.-THE gentleman must speak
to the resolution" "Let us have the
resolution read" suggested some one
in the meeting. Judge Phillips stopped
down and whispered to the absent
minded secretary. Read the resolu-
tion," he said. "HmY queried the Sec
rotary, waking up; what resolution
1.-THE one we have been discussing for
several hours" replied Judge Phillips.
The resolution was hunted for high and
low, but could not be found. On the
secretary's desk there was a bit of
paper which looked as II 1t had been
nibbled by mouse. 1T was all that re-
manned of the resolution. The absent
minded secretary had eaten the rest.
During one Of his expeditions in the
Philippines, the late Gen. Lawton came
across the tran of party Of Filipinos,
which he followed for several days with
a small body of troops. One day he and
his STAFF reached the top of small emf
nence and saw a river stretching be-
low them but short distance ahead.
Turning to one Of his aids, the General
said: Lieutenant, ride ahead and see
IL that river Is fordable." The Lieuten
ant put spurs to his horse, and soon en-
tered the river. A few feet from shore
the bottom shelved or suddenly and
Tue uOTSc WAC 6OOH uOuuucAAuS III OCCp
water. The Lieutenant disengaged
himself and swan to the shore, which
the horse also reached in short time.
After q brief chase, to the amusement
Of the General and the star; the horse
was recaptured, and, mounting him,
the LIEUTENANT rode back. His khaki
uniform was soaked and bedraggled
and the water spurted from the tops
of his military boots at every jump of
his horse. Riding up to the General,
he gravely saluted. and said: II have
the honor to report. sir, that the river is
not fordable." Lawt0n looked at him
a moment, trying to maintain the dig
nifty Of his position, but the situation
was too ludicrous for him. He burst
into a hearty laugh In which the stan
Joined at the expense of the young
lieutenant, Swho, however, tells ssthe
story on himself.