The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1901-08-13
LAWRENCE. THE HUMoRIsT.
Members OF .he River and Harb9r Com
mlttee Are Back Home With a
Crop OF New Stories.

The members Of the river and harbor
committee have returned to their res
pec;iye homes and 4, least one con-
gressmen Of the party has enriched his
repertoire ~ vr Win some good stor-
les tina, will while away duh committee
meetings and tedious waits in the halls
OF legislation The following is from
the New York Commercial OF recent
date.
The vlsir OF the congressional rivers
and harbors committee to the IVES, will
prove a memorable one, especially It's
visit to Seattle and Puget sound Con-
gresham George P. Lawrence, OF Mas
sachuse,ts seemed 20 be the particular
luminary around whom the rest OF the
delegation rotated whenever they want
ed TO hear something tha; would pro
woke a laugh. At least that is the way
/, appeared 20 the reception committee
from Seattle turing the fourteen days
the delegation was entertained by the
people OF that city.
"On his way across he continent Con-
gresham Lawrence was the victim Of
petty thievery. one day one Of the
porters stole soma hair tonic belonging
10 Mrs. Lawrence. The following day
SIS in coin was lifted" and two days
later another theft Of S55 occurred.
Blu, Mr.. Lawrence saw nothing. but the
funny side Of the incident. He explain
cd the matter thus;
You see Mrs. Lawrence hal the
hair tonic in a whisky flask. and the
fellow who purlo,nad The bottle mus,
have believed it contained whisky.
When he drank that tonic any man Of
Imagination knows Immediately what
happened. I; was good stun and OF
course made hair grow on his stomach,
There's no doubt about that The fel-
low had 20 - 20 a doctor 20 have the
hair removed ana ne took the SIS and
paid it to the doctor. Blu, the job was
a difficult one ana when the doctor de-
manded more money he came back and
took S55 Oh, I don't feel bad about
it; the poor fellow, whoever he is, has
my sympathy
THE delegation was much impressed
with the Indian names of towns and
rivers in Washington, skomokawa, Wy
kiakum. Skokomlsh, Sammammish,
Snohomish, Puyallup, Callam. Dosewal-
lops, Pyscht, Pee-Ell, Chehalis. S,ealia-
COON. IslQuah Swinomish. Sauk, Skag-
IT, Gueimes and Neah will always stick
to the memory, for the names, once pro-
nouncei, roll under the tongue SO cas-
,ly they canno, De forgotten. Congress-
man Lawrence listed all the names and
declared ,hey are better than English,
when one Is at a loss for something big
and terrible to hurl at the atmosphere.
For swearing he believes these names, I
no matter what they mean, We're espec-
ially designed for the use Of the affllc;-
ed
During the trip around the Sound the
congressman were taken into a large
shallow body Of water.
This, gentlemen, is Swinomlsh
slough" said local committeeman.
and We want a channel dredged," etc.
etc
The delegates heard nothing but
"swinomish" The rest Of the day. and
that evening at Whatcom the Fairhaven
Commercial Club entertained the vlsi-
tors and The president Of the club
made a speech in which he set forth
the wishes Of the people. Mr. Lawrence
replied to the speech. He arose and,
assuming his most serious manner,