davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

Whit OF the first pumpkin pie which
reaches the nostrils of the patriots OF
America will bounce those shares TO
Sl20 We shall have the old fashioned
pumpkins, the old fashioned molasses.
the old fashioned ginger. We shall
turn out pies which will melt in the
mouths of the gods and lift the sons o.
liberty off their heels On the face of
each pie will be stamped the Goddess
of Liberty, and on the back will be the
American eagle holding the stars and
stripes in his claws, While the eater
devours pumpkin he is at the same
time filling up on freedom
My three dollars said Stevens as
he removed his cuffs aud pushed up his
sleeves.
And you are to be vice president at
salary Of $4,000 year, smiled the
major In the days when the world
was against me you forced So into my
hand and showed your confidence and
trust. DO you think l can rest content
by simply repaying the loan or even by
making ii $4,000? No, never! Monday
morning you shall enter upon your du-
| ties, and If you want your salary for
year in advance you shall have 1t. In
time that SIS may grow to S3,000,000.
and no one will be more gratified than
yours truly Once the pumpkin pie is
replaced on its pedestal of greatness,
once the
Mr.. Stevens grabbed the major and
showed him against the wall, but he
= a D. II r1sv
ten seconds before he went on:
Il was making out the papers as you
came in but found that l lacked the
sum necessary to file them with the
secretary of state. If you happen to
have five dollar bill about you
Mr. Stevens banged the majors head
against the wall and growled at his
cheek, but il was no geA @7ss
! AS You so out you may look for Of
fees. a suit in some first class location.
and it would be well if you stepped into
some bank and introduced yourself.
| There will be nothing cheap about this
i affair. Even the ovens in which we
bake the pies will be nickel plated"
Mr.. Stevens threw the major down
and banged his head on the floor and
choked him and called him names, but
when he had finished the grand pro-
moter rose up and continued:
Il have figured ii down close, and we
shall sell 100000 pies per day the
year round. The profit on each pie will
be 1 cents. aud the sum total What.
Going? Well, 1t Is a busy day for
both of us. but don't forget to call on
Monday. / shall want you to start out
the first thing and contract for 100000
pumpkins and
But the creditor gave him one long
lingering look Of chagrin and contempt
and stalked out. and the major sat
down in his old position and winked at
the calendar On the wall and began
dreaming other dreams of wealth and
power. NJ. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

"Sir," began young Timkins as he
entered the presence Of the dear girls
father. Il want to marry your daugh-
ter
"Oh, don't bother me with your trOu-
blesr' interrupted the old gentleman.
''She told me some time ago that she
intended to marry you. so you'll have
to settle it between yourselves. "-Ex-
change.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
Cleaning the Clock.

A farmer has an ambitious son. u
years old. who. being left alone for a
few hours the other day. tried to clean
the clock. He easily got the clock to
pieces, but his difficulty lay in putting
them together again after cleaning.
At this task he was only partly sue
cessful. and upon his fathers return
home he eagerly exclaimed:
Father. I've cleaned the clock and
got enough works left over to make an
other onep'-EXchange.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

=
the Occasion and Made a Handsome
Offer. but His LiberaIIty Was Not
Appreciated.
Copyright, 1901. by c. b. Lewis-l
Major Crofoot, grand promoter and
general organizer. sat in his office with
his feet on his desk and dead cigar
stub in his mouth when a man walked
through the open door and stood before
him. 1t was man of whom he had
borrowed So months before and whom
he hoped was dead 1t took the G. p.
and q. o. fully 80 seconds TO remember
that he had borrowed the money for
only a couple of days and had pledged
his honor to return it and to realize
that it was now about TO be called in
with or without row.
"By George. Stevens, but this is sin
gular. mighty singular exclaimed the
major as ne got his feet down and ex-
tended his hand. Not two minutes
ago l was wondering why on earth 1
never met you or why you didn't call.
I've had a check ready for you for
months Been out of the country. ehf"
Been looking for you solemnly re-
piled the caller as he took n seat and
mopped his brow.
"For me! Why, I've been right here
for a year. except at brief intervals,
and | should have been rejoieed TO see
you. I'm not a man TO forget old
friends. stevens. In the days of my
adversely. when / hadn't even money
enough to get my laundry, you stood by
me like a brick You were one Of the
few who believed In me-"
Never" replied Stevens. mo,
never believed in you! knew you
were a deadbeat the first time l saw
you. l want that So
"And when man believes in my in
tegrity," continued the major. when
a man trusts in my honor and helps me
out OF a hole, be makes no mistake. I'd
sell the shirt off my back to repay the
loan he made me. Yes, you believed In
me when others refused 10. and il
warns the cookies of my heart as l re-
call your conduct. One day you forced
So into my hand and would not let me
even thank you"
You are liar, and ! want my mon
ey."
II was in the depths Of despair for
a few weeks, but then the jade called
! Fortune began TO smile on me. When
she turned In my favor she couldn't do
enough | promoted and floated com
pany after company and trust after
/ trust and raked in fortune after for
tune, and today. Stevens-today ] can
draw my check for millions. II il
hadn't been for you and your So.
might not be able to buy a sardine
Yes. sir. ii was your push upward that
enabled me to reach the pinnacle or
which stand al present, and am not
1 the man to forget it,
Come down with my three" whis
pered the creditor as he looked ovei
the majors head.
Months and months ago I made out
! q check for You. In return for your
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

In "Reminiscences of a Faiconer"
Major Fisher describes the tactics of n
partridge when pursued by n tame
falcon.
The falcon was descending upon the
partridge when the partridge stopped
short and fell to the ground as if dead.
He seemed to be lost in the short stub
bic Of the field. He was far too know
ing to trust himself again on the wing,
and the hawk had no alternative but
10 take him on the ground. which he
speedily attempted TO do.
But on the ground the partridge was
far more agile than he, running this
way and that with great speed. The
hawk would jump awkwardly up and
dart after the scudding partridge, who
just at the right moment jumped from
the ground and over his back. descend
ed on the other side and commenced
running harder than before.
Time after time this was done. At
every attempt the partridge met the
hawk with outstretched neck and rails
ed hackles. in the attitude of fighting
bantam cock. jumping UP to avoid be-
ing clutched whenever the hawk struck
at him. In fact. his whole action was
that Of a plucky little game bantam.
This went on for some time. until, as
l regret TO say, | ended the unequal
strife by putting the partridge once
more fairly on the wing. when. of
course, the hawk readily overlook and
captured it. not overmuch to his credit
and still less to mine.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
Rnstonian Rrnnrx.

Manufacturing you've been in bath
ing. and told you not to-
Johnny-But if went in 10 save life.
mamma?
Mamma-Oh, in that case. you did
right Noble boy, whose life did you
save?
JOHNNY didn't save any life. mann
ma; he got away from me, 1t was a
fish, you know, and guess there
wasn't any danger Of his drowning aft
er ADHESION Transcript
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
without N Ring.

A wedding without a ring seems in
congruous. but in Cadiz. Spain. no ring
IS used. After the ceremony the bride
groom moves the flower In his brides
hair from left 70 right. for In various
parts of Spain to wear a rose above
your right ear is to proclaim yourself a
wife Thus the rose takes the place Of
the ring.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

Jamestown. Va. where the English
gained their first foothOld in the new
world in 1907. was burned in 1876. To-
day nobody lives there. Little remains
to mark the site except a crumbling
church tower. dilapidated gravestones
and remnants Of the foundations OF a
few houses.-Ladies' Home Journal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
Veru Low Excursion Rates to the Par
american EXPOSITION. Buffalo. n. v.

Via the Northwestern line are sold
daily with favorable return limits.
Direct connection at Chicago with
fast trains Of all lines tc Buffalo. For
further particulars apply to agents.
An illustrated booklet will be mailed
on receipt Of two cents postage by w.
Il Kniskern, General Passenger aud
Ticket agent. Anicago. 21-3
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
HAD NEVER BEEN ABROAD.
But For All That He Had Travelled
.4Fur and WIde.''

Have you spent all of your life right
here in this one placer asked a stran-
ger of an old fellow he came across
seated on a rail fence whiting in irons
of log and slab cabin in one of the
back counties of Arkansas.
Not by a derned sight" was the
terse reply. II been hyar the better
part o. the time; but la, hev travelled
fur an wide."
Ever been abroGd"'
"Well. not eggsackly to say abroad.
onless you call ii goin abroad to go
from here way over to Petersville. l
been over thar twice in the last 40
year. It's 3G1a miles to Peterville an l
been furder than that. fur my ole wom-
an an me went clean to Hogback ridge
on our weddin tower. an that's II mile
from here. Then been over in Pettis
county to see my wife's folks twice. an
that's twenty odd mile from here. Then
/ been over to Rocky Hill eZ menny ez
four times, an that's IS mile. Ez say,
| been here most O. the time. but Their
I've travelled fur an wide all the same.
I've seen the big four story mill over TO
Petersville an the engine kyars over to
Peaville. rid three miles on 'em. an
it's all want o the pesky things. I've
seen a calf with two heads an Teller
that could eat fire and dance on broken
glass in his bare feet l see man
hung once an a boss race fur purse O
$50. Yes sir; been fur an wide, an
reckon I've seen the biggest part O.
what there is to see in this world, an
don't lot on doin no more gaddin
about. "-Lippincott's.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

Caller-How are you feeling today?
Invalld-Not so well. think I'll try
another doctor
Caller-What's the matter with the
one you have?
Invalid-Tm afraid be is acting as
advance agent for his brother, who is
an undertaker-Ch Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

There are few ailments so uncom-
Portable as piles, but they can easily
be cured by using Tabler's Buckeye
Pile Ointment Relief follows its use
and any one suffering from piles can
not afford to neglect to give it trial
Price 80 cts in bottles, tubes, IS cts. at
Benefits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
DIdn,t Love Her.

She (petulantly)-I don't see why you
should hesitate TO get married on $1,000
a year. Papa says my gowns never
cost more than that
He-But. my darling. we must have
something to eat.
"Oh, William, always thinking OF
your stomach
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
Canadian Ears.

In cold countries Ike Canada the
ears are often forced to grow in an IN
natural way BY the custom Of forcing
the caps down over the skull and max
ing the ears stick out. 1t is only Amer
lean ears which get frostbitten in Can
ada. The ears Of the natives are in
ured to excessive cold
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

Tabler's Buckeye Pile Ointment is not
a panacea, but is recommended for
blind, bleeding or protruding piles, and
it will cure the most obstinate cases.
Price, so cts in bottles, tubes 70 cts. at
Benefits
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
A Word Of cnntIon.

.Yes. doctor. l want 10 see you. IT'S
about my wife. She's got something in
her throat that hurts her just as soon
as she gets TO talking. She's coming
over to see you herself. And you'll be
very careful. won't you?"
about removing IT."
NO. About not removing it."-Cle7e-
land Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

When a man Is going up hill. people
dig bitches in front of him; when he
starts down. they get OUT OF his way
and give him the whole road.-Denver
Times
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

First Horse What's wrong with old
Gray? He's shaking his head as if
hornet had stung him.
Second Horse-Perhaps he has bee
in his bonnet.-Chicago Record Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
Try us for Job Printing.

Corn huskers' sprained wrists. barb
ed wire cuts and sprains, or cuts from
any other cause, are quickly healed
when Billiards. Snow Ointment is
promptly applied. Price % and 80
cts at Benefits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
Agreed.
Vol use my poem?

Poet-Cau't you use my poem?
Editor-No.
Poet (sorrowfullyl-We its too badl
Editor-Just what said when read
it-decidedly III, k.-Chicago News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

Ulcers, open or obstinate sores. piles
and scalds, quickly cured by Banner
Salve. the most healing medicine III
the world Hatch Bros, and BENEFITS.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
UNREDEEMED LANDS.
NOTICE FOR TAX DEED.
(oFFIcrAL.l

Ofhceof the County Clerk. Lancaster. Grant
County, Wis. August 9. 1901.
Notice is hereby given that the following
described lands and village and city lots. in
the County of Grant and state of Wisconsin.
were sold by the Treasurer OF said County on
THE 18th DAY OF MAY. 1899.
for the DELINQUENT taxes of 1895. The amount
set opposite each description Is the amount
Of tax interest and charges due thereon
computed up To the last day of redemption.
Now therefore. unless the taxes and charges
are paid on or before
THE 10th DAY OF MAY. 1902.
the same will be conveyed by tax deed to the
law.
ABBREyIATIoNs: east. ne northeast. sc
southeast. W west. NV northwest. sw south
ives N north south. com commencing. cor
corner a acre add addition. blk block. Id
bounded 1T feet, sec section. und undivided,
orig original.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

We refuse 70 let any one question
the good sense OF a woman who still
spanks her children when they are 10.
--Atchison Globe.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

Among the burmese n newly mar
rled couple. TO insure a happy life. ex-
change q mixture OF tea leaves STEPPED
In oil.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

A boy Is like a fountain pen You
can't tell from what he costs whether
he will make his mark or uot.-Detroit
Journal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

ASK for Lorna, the new perfume,
at Hatch Bros drug store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05

A FINE Line OF fresh chocola e
candies Just received at c. W. Burr'ss
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
MAJOR CROFOOT, G. P.
He RECEIVES A CALL FROM ONE OF
HIS CREDITORS.

The Grand Promoter Was Equal 10
the Occasion and Made "A Handsome
Offer, but His LiberalIty Was Not
Appreciated.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-09-05
CT,
"
ST. RI
ssi4-4sisi
Town of Hazel Green.


On ne cor OF nel4
OF nwi4 ........27 Ill l. Lightcap.... -
Village OF Lower Hazel Green.
got1blk7.. WIN Wearnes est %
Town of Platteville.
: end SELL of Sc u : 3 1iGeo W Womack. 30
City of Plattevile.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1901-11-24

the taxpayers were practically mulcted
in that sum. But Edward VII, with his
natural dislike of all display and osten-
tation, will not, of course, indulge in
the gorgeous extravaganza of his
predecessor.
That the coronation of George "
transcribed almost any other cere-
mOnial of the kind that has taken
place IL this or any other country ap-
pears to be beyond doubt. Its impress
siYeness may be measured from the
subjoined extract from a private letter
written by a woman who was privi-
legged to be present and who was es-
corted by Sir Walter Scott:
Here is the longest sheet I can find,
she writes, and were it 10 times long
er and had each of my 10 fingers the
pen OF a Walter Scott busy at its
point, q tenth part Of all have seen
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1901-11-24

this day, 10 days would hardly suf-
fee to tell"
At 4 o'clock on the morning of the
coronation of George " 10 miles Of
carriages were already vending their
way toward Westminster. In public
and private expenditure the ceremonial
ost close upon two and a half millions.
James II did not aspire to such colos-
sal display. He was possessed with
desire to be economical" and on that
score abandoned the coronation pro-
cession. Nevertheless he unselfishly al
lowed more than 100000 to be spent
in adjoining the queen for that grand
occasion. In comparison, very modest
indeed was the cost entailed at the cor
onation of William and Mary. However,
e3703 15s. sd. had to be spent in Jewels
for the regalia. as the master Of the
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1901-11-24
GROWING KING EDWARD
COSTLY AND SPECTACULAR

The jewelers., robe makers and court
costumiers of London viii reap an
abundant harvest from the coronation
of Edward VII. No event of recent
years has brought such an access of
trade to fashionable makers Of habili-
ments as may be anticipated from the
crowning Of the new king The only
occasion to which one can go for any
sort Of q parallel is the last jubilee.
But in 1897 the people directly inter-
ested in that function-the invited
guests" as they may be called-were
fewer in number and lesser in degree
than the great congregation Of other
countries kings and our own princes
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1901-11-24
$1.OO Down

dukes. earls. ministers of state and
clergy that will assemble within the his
toric walls of Westminster to witness
the archbishop's browning of King Ed
ward VII And the cost, will, in fact,
be infinitely greater owing to the large
er number of people who will have to
attend and the increased gorgeousness
Of the spectacle.
An authority consulted by repre-
sentative of the Daily Mail estimated
that the tradesmen of the west end
would benefit to the tune OF million
and half IL the coronation is perform
ed with the pomp and circumstances
betting the occasion. Three-quarters
Of this would be spent by private in
dividuals, the rest by or on behalf Of
the crown.
The coronation of George " cost the
country q million Of money-that is,
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1901-11-24

Jewel house naively reported that
Though he had the regalia in his pos
session it had been dismantled Of the
jewels"
Genuinely economical was William
". He actually suggested TO Earl
Grey. the prime minister Of that time,
that the coronation should be dis
pensed with altogether. AS 1t was. no
procession took place and the banquet
was for the first time omitted.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-05-31
CHAPTER x

Mrs. Cowley looked exceedingly
| guilty when her lord and master en-
tered but he, being full of his own
business, did not observe it. He laid
aside his wrappings, called for hot
water and the spirit case, and sat
down by the fire with an air of man
who had earned his repose and meant
| thoroughly to enjoy it.
Have you been alarmed in any way
since | went Mrs CT" he asked when
his toddy was thoroughly mixed
mo, my dear" she replied briskly;
which was gross fib, as We know, be-
cause the unexpected arrival of her
nephew and his wife had nearly sent
her into a fit of Mysteries. But that
was only one of the white lies that
are perfectly allowable, and even
praiseworthy when the head of the
household is in question. If British
matrons hesitated long over a tara
diddle," there would be little peace, I
fear, in many British home.
Not alarmed eh!" said Mr. Cowley
slipping at his glass We'll, I'm glad
you are getting so brave. have been
to see the agent, and there is no rea-
son why we should not rent the house
for another year. Mr.. Vernon will not
want it, and the agent evidently looks
upon it as one of the best speculations
he ever made"
Another year, Mercy preserve u.s."
said Mrs. Cowley, holding up her
hands in horror.
"And why not, pray?" was the sharp
reply. "If we go sooner we shall have
done no good. People will think we
are frightened away, after all; where
as if we stay for fifteen or sixteen
months they cannot have the face to
hint at such thing"
Mrs. Cowley groaned.
Besides, have been talking VITA
the agent about the drains, and he has
given me leave to have them set to
rights. A capital dodge that, isn't it,
my dear?"
Mrs. Cowley only sighed.
Don't you see? While the men are
at work, I'll make them take up the
floor of that pantry. Depend on it,
there is nothing there but rats
"Can rats rock a cradle. Mr. Cow
ley?" asked his better half. severely.
81 dare say they could if they tried"
"And sing?"
There are plenty of singing mice
in the world; perhaps ours belongs to
that breed. my dear. However. what
I mean to say is this: That the house
being old. is in all probability swarm
ing with the brutes: and that. in some
of their antics in the pantry. they con-
,trive to initiate the rocking OF a era
die and to make a sound which will
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1901-05-31
Randall's Island Slang.

The boys in the Randall's Island In
stitution for the reformation of juve-
nile delinquents have slang of their
own. A "scorf' is a boy who is big
eater of all kinds of food as distin-
guished from a 'chuck scorf," which
means a boy who eats quantities OF
bread. "Snitch" is telltale, a boy
who breaks the unwritten law of all
schools not to split on a schoolmate
under any circumstances. If one boy
refers to another as an up" it means
that he is a captain or a lieutenant,
for the school is military III its train
ing. By the same token kid" is a
captain or lieutenant who is of small
stature. Hard guy" means a partic-'
ularly tough boy and is title COM
handing more or less secret respect.
AS distinguished from kid" a "Spud
Up" means captain or lieutenant who
is of large size, 'spud" meaning either
a big boy or a potato as the case may
be. Shoes that are made outside of the
institution are called "cities," and
whiting" and a match is striker"
When it is said of boy that he has
got a goat" it means that he is an
cry. II he has "a fierce goat" it means
that he is very angry. in a towering
rage, in fact. A "girk" is 4 second
hand dried chew OF tobacco. and is in
the list of Juvenile delinquent treas
ures. A "rakes" is a boys chum %
closest friend.