The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-29


Stop thinking it is interesting to be
ignorant, and fetching to be whimsi-
cal.
Stop gushing over actors.
Stop criticising every other girl. Men
always think it is envy, and call you
cats.
Stop wearing their hair in an untidy
mop because certain actresses are pho
tographed with their heads in a hurri-
cane.
Stop thinking the man who sends
them most candy is the one who loves
them best.
Stop writing sentimental letters to
men, and giving their photographs to
Tom Dick and Harry.
Suppose we all made New Years
resolutions to do the things we think
Heighbors ought TO do, would this
world be a paradise?
A London photographer, says the
New York Sun, who has probably taken
more photographs of kings and queens
than any other man in the world, has
been confiding to the public, under a
discreet but not wholly blind incognito,
his professional experiences with roy
atty.
THE Queen of Holland" he says, "is,
with King Edward, one of the most
charmingly easy sitters l ever took.
She does not mind to what trouble she
puts herself so long as she can please
you and look, as her Majesty once said
to me, as a Queen should look
Shortly before her marriage / was
summoned to Amsterdam to take the
young Queen. 1 was somewhat nervous
at first in the royal presence and Queen
Wilhelmina. quickly noticed this.
Now, 1 want to look very nice in
deed in this photograph said her
Majesty, smiling and if you feel i'll at
ease l ann sure you will not be able to
do justice either to yourself or me-
After that soon lost all my nerv-
BUSINESS. 1 thought her Majesty looked
rather too dignified and stately, so l
said:
will your Majesty please smile lit
tie? I am sure the photograph will
come out much better then
THE Queen laughed and said: Ger
tainly. But how ought I to smile?
Like a queen, or like an ordinary NOR
tal?'
1.-THE photograph proved to be a fine
one, and Queen Wilhelmina was de-
lighted with it.
"'Oh, you have indeed taken me
nicely this time she said some time af-
terward to me as she examined the
picture. Why, this photograph is far
better than, the other one YOU took OF
met But then you were not to blame.
1 remember had tight boots on at the
time, and oh, how they pinched me!
How can one look happy or cheerful
with tight boots?'"
"I wish" said the woman plaintively,
to representative of the New York
Times that the shop girls wouldn't
count backward. 1t gets me so ratified.
Like this, for instance. suppose you
buy forty cents worth of something,
and give them IS. Here they come along
pretty soon with your package and the
! change Forty cents they begin.
! That's the forty cents you have just
| spent and consequently haven't got.
always confound it with the five dol
lars, and think I ought. to have it, and
when 1 find / haven't got it get mad.
Forty cents they say, sixty, one dol
! lar two dollars, three, four, and that
| makes your five.
II never can get the straight of 1t,
she sighed, until go all over it from
the beginning right, and count, one
| dollar, two, three, four sixty and then
! leave out the forty cents 1 have spent
| and haven't got"
ITS the same with me-" complained
another woman. ST wonder why they
teach us mathematics in the schools.
What good does 1t do us? / couldn't
any more multiply thirty-three and |
third by thirty-three and third than
could fly to the moon"
"why that's easy" said the first wo-
man. "Thirty-three and a third multi
piled by thirty-three and a third is
sixty-six and two-thirds, of course"
The first woman smiled admiringly.
You We're always so much cleverer
about your arithmetic than l was" she
| declared. 1T remember that at school.
was always perfectly idiotic when It
came to doing a sum. When they ask
me now at home to multiply any sort
of fraction by any other sort of frac-
ton, say: IF you don't believe I am
an educated woman, look at my diplo-
ma. There IL is over the mantelpiece;
but for the love of heaven don't ask
me TO do any sort OF sum-"
The blonde girl put in:
1--WE are the same way" she said
"Cad and l. The other day, after pay
ing our board we had a lot of change
left. Then, thinking it over. we found
that I owed her % cents and she owed
me IS. We didn't know how to pay
each other. We laid the money down
on the bed and commenced to count
ii out. There was a difference, we
knew, between what she owed me and
what I owed her. but for the life OF
us, we couldn't tell what 1t was"
1.-THE difference between IS and 25 is
s. isn't it?" inquired the first woman
cor is it seven?" turning to the others
I'm not sure" they replied, whether
IL is seven or eight" and one of them
began to count IL over and over on her
fingers, with a puzzled look on her
face.
We'll" resumed the blonde girl, 1--WE
worried over 1t and worried over IL
until at last we just counted out the
money, each of us. counted out TWEEN
ty-five cents and handed II to her, and
she counted out is cents and handed II
TO me, and that was the only way We
could think of to settle st."
us your husband the kind who does
not see things?"
Embroidery seemed to invite conf.
dence. She had brought her sewing
and had come for an hour from the
next apartment, says the Cincinnati
Enquirer.
well, now, have never tested him. .
The tone was a little disappearing.
Dear me, | am not accusing you OF
things. Now wrap yourself up in your
injured pride. offended womanhood
and all that tommyrot. What I NEAR
is. does he-er-nOtice what you have
on?"
"Oh, he does. indeed Why, I always
save my prettiest things and dress NJ
for him"
The other dimpled in laxative en-.
thusiasm.
"Dick doesn't. Dick wouldn't know
pan-satin from the side OF shoe
leather
THE enbrolderer stitched resigueaI,,