Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1901-03-22
How a Dung
I awyer' Got Rid
OF an Agent.

couldn't do it very well. OF course he
was a great deal disappointed. He
talked and talked. l could see that he
was indeed distressed. But in the end
I had to tell him peremptorily that l
really could not meet his views about
life insurance.
Now he said, do you know am
rather glad of that. because I have an
other plan here that i would great
deal rather have you 60 into? OF course
these life insurance people are my prin-
cipal employers. have to do my duty
by them. My conscience would not let
me take money from a man for any
other purpose than life insurance until
I was absolutely sure that there was
nothing doing with him in the life in
surance line. See?
II told him that nobody appreciated
better than his loyalty to his employ
ers.
Thanks he said without blushing.
Now, l want to call your attention to
a company that has attracted my no.
tice because Of it's liberality and fair
ness in dealing with it's friends. Now,
have you ever thought about accident
insurance? Every young man
well, of course, he went on until he
was stopped. I succeeded in stopping
him by telling him that 1 wished very
much that lie would talk to me about
something new. never made a worse
break in my life.
~~" I'm tickled to death that you spoke
about it, he said. Now, there's some
friends of mine, with a mint of money
behind them, who have got the newest
thing out. It's health insurance For
less than 3 cents day they will insure
you against any one of these diseases
"And then he unfolded a list of horri-
bic Affections that looked like a list of
ailments which could be cured by some
body's patent medicines 1t took my
breath away. He had the right of way
and talked until l got my wind again.
Then l told him that it was too much
like an investment in cheap gold mine
STOCK for me. If it paid. it would pay
a great deal. but it was more likely to
result in money thrown away.
"'Ain't those gold mining stocks aw-
ful?' he exclaimed. Now. l have just
had a mighty funny experience about
those things. Did you ever hear of the
Midas and Grand Central Pete mine
out in southern California? No? Well.
mighty few people have. They will
before long. though. You see. going
around as much as do. get next to
some very influential people, and
through them l got on to this Midas
and G. c. +. stock. They are going to
keep it very quiet until next February.
and then they are going, to spring sur
prise in it that there will be heap Of
, money in. OF course all these things
are crooked. The. thing is to be in
with the people who are doing the
crooked work. am in. Now, to tell
the honest truth, am awfully hard up.
That's why I have been after you so
hard this morning. I need the money.
need $50 more this minute than I can
possibly need $4,000 next February.
1 have got about 25,OOO shares of this
M. and G.. C. p. stock, and for the sake
of getting a little ready money quick
I'll let you have part Of it for just what
1t cost me-5,0O0 shares, for instance,
at cent a share. On the 18th of Feb
ruary next that stock will be worth 81
q share or more. Not a cent less.'
"He paused and drew lot Of gold
and red ink certificates out of his breast
pocket and flashed them before my
eyes. 1 waved them away. told him
with the utmost frankness that real
" was not able to undertake any new
investments. If I was going to gam
BILE, said, thought that would take
to a regular openly confessed gambling
house.
''The insurance man leaped from his
chair and caught me by the hand.
"'Well, say he said, with the air of
one who had at last found out what his
errand actually was, I tell you what
we'll do. I've got SIS. You put in S.,
and then you put me on to some faro
joint around here, and I'll go and play
faro for awhile. When I've run it up
to hundred, I'll bring it in and split
it with you. I'm lucky to beat the
band on calling cards.
II sighed long, sad sigh and hand
ed out the five and a note to bartend-
er friend who could put him on to a
faro joint and urged him to hurry. I
had case to get ready, and the time
was cheap to me just then at that price.
/ 'But the funny part of this yarn is
that about half an hour later a messen-
ger boy came into the Office and hand.
cd ne . fat envelope. 1t contained five
$40 bills and this note:
Much obliged. Excuse haste. I've
! gone up home to pay rent and head off
; dispossess notice." Louis Star.
Hunting For a Daughter-in-1aw.
There is an opuient old Irishman of q
mofhodica1 firm II, Chioa 90 who hae q