Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-03-03

n OF my DOdTuSTS Huu d Woiu VI
fault yet. We are the same as a fami-
ly. you know, and many of US call
| each other by our given names. 1t
| will be the same as adopting you into
| a tender hearted Christian family. You
| don't look like a fault finder"
II hope not, ma'am.
And instead of great hunks OF
corned beef you prefer dainties at ta-
ble?"
Exactly. Your terms are all right.
and | think I'll join the family"
Mr.. Eowser sent his trunk over and
turned the cat outdoors. and that
evening he joined He was just in
time for dinner. For an hour past he
had been thinking of oyster soup, por-
terhouse steak, French fried potatoes
and Mocha coffee, and he sat down
with an appetite. Soup was brought
him. 1t was thin soup: it was Watery
soup; it was soup which tasted of
nothing in particular. He slipped a
spoonful and glared around him at
the family" and realized that he was
in for a row. There was steak, but it
was not porterhouse; there were
mashed potatoes, but they were full Of
Jumps. Mr.. Bowser chewed at his
meat a moment, tasted of the potatoes
and then leaned back in his chair.
Had Mrs. Bowser been there she
would have felt the earth trembling
and fastened to prevent a calamity,
but the landlady saw no signs. When
she saw Mr.. Gowser did not e1t, she
tenderly said:
Il suppose, poor man, you are think
ing of the wife who is far away, and
so you have no appetizer
Madam, is this what you were
pleased to term your festive board?"
he queried il reply as he waved his
hand over the table.
rs anything wrong?"
He was about to reply that there
was and TO give particulars when the
family froze him into silence with
their looks. There were II of them,
and they were "agin" him to the last
one. Realizing the situation, he rose
UP as calmly as possible, left the room
and went up to the newly papered n
with southern exposure, The landlady
followed him. 1t vas her duty as the
head Of the family and a motherly
woman to comfort the disconsolate.
You and your wife haven't been
parted very often, l take it?" she said
as MIR. Bowser opened the door to her.
Look here, woman what sort of a
hash house do you call this?" he de-
manded as he turned on her and in
stinetively looked around for the cat.
"Sir! Sir! Is it possible that you
are speaking to me?' she demanded.
"Of course l am! Do you expect
that a man who has ever had a home
of his own can put up with such fod-
der as was placed before me? That
soup was slop. that beef came from a
neck piece. Your slovenly cook did
not half mash her potatoes. Why, if
my cook had dared to set such a meal
before me I'd have-have''-
you are intoxicated, sir" she inter
rupted.
"Boshi"
Then, sir, there is no excuse for
your language, and as the head of this
Christian family and as the owner of
this festive board down stairs l shall
have to ask you to vacate this room"
81 was going on my own accord" re-
piled Mr.. Bowser. who wanted to kick
over chairs and junpaat the cat. Il
ing house which would feed its patrons
on lamb chops instead OF bull beef, on
potatoes mashed with a club instead
of a crowbar, on Java or Mocha cof"-
Never mind your theories. sir!" in
terrupted the mother of the family"
as she waved him out of the room and
along the hall and down stairs. The
other boarders had gathered to see the
kicker depart. They were tall. thin
cadaverous boarders and most of them
two weeks behind with their cash, and
they lend up in the hall and looked
coldly and cruelty at Mr.. Bowser as he
| passed. When the door had closed be-
hind him with a hang and he had de-
| scended the steps, he looked around
at the darkness and thought of Mrs.
!. Bowser and home and the cat, and a