The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-09-29

Thus you see that am far from want 1
therefore wish to assist Mr. Mckinley in
Furnishing the Spaniard'
That's a lot of money you've got" re-
marked the doorkeeper. as if stunned
at the immensely of the mans wealth.
But I'm afraid you'll need it all Let
me tell you something-it's not generally
known yet-but at a cabinet meeting held
this morning it was decided to raise the
price Of beef to sixty-four septillions of
dollars pound. and everything else, in
Guiding bread, is to go up in price ac-
cordingly"
You don't say so!' exclaimed King
Midas Golddust with an alarmed look,
and, tightly clutching his walking stick,
ne charged out of the gate as swiftly as
his long legs could carry him He never
came back, either.
A very short, thick-set man, with her
culean shoulders and unsettled eyes,
sailed up to the White house door under
tull head of steam one morning while
Gen. Harrison occupied the presidential
chalr He had so much momentum that
two doorkeepers had difficulty in bringing
MIN to halt when he passed through
the door, but they finally gave him the
arm clutch on either side and politely
asked him whittier he was bound
''Sh-sh!' Kissed the understood man.
placing his fingers to his lips warningly.
1 just met Peter the Hermit down the
street, and he told me 1 was shorter than
Ben Harrison. I want to see Ben and
measure up with him How many heads
taller than Ben am I, anyhow
why" said one of the doorkeepers
you're so much taller than the presi-
dent that you wouldn't be able to see
him at all unless you lie down fiat on the
floor. Alongside of Mr.. Harrison, you're
redwood tree of CaInornia compared to
a dandelion."
A look of great happiness crept into
the short mans face
And so Peter the Hermit told me what
wasn't SOP said he wistfully
Sure thing said the doorkeeper
And I'm the tallest man that ever
lived?'
eff Goliath was on earth you'd make
him look as if he'd stopped growing when
piled the doorkeeper.
20 joy! whish! whooshl wheer' ex-
claimed the understood man, bubbIins
| over with happiness and out he went at
jog-trot, nor did he ever call again
for the purpose of standing back to back
| with the chief magistrate.
Another eccentric who called at the
White houses during the regime of Gen.
! harrison had his arms pinned to his
/ sides the moment after he stepped over
the threshold, for he no sooner passed
the door than his right hand Travelled to
! MS back pocket. 1t looked like prepare.
tlon for gun play and the doorkeeper
had him in no time. The man looked
greatly surprised over this treatment.
and when the doorkeepers felt his back
pocket and found that it contained no
| weapon they turned him loose and look.
| ed him over
| What was your idea in going to that
pocket" inquired one of the doorkeep-
| ers
My motive" replied the man ag-
grlevedly, FAR from being Interior. was
| purely philanthropic. 1 am informed
through the medium of the public press
fhat Mr.. Harrison is a cold, cold man.
! brought this to him to enable him to
| warm himself up" And he again reach.
| ed into his hip pocket and solemnly
brought forth tiny red flannel under.
snlrt, ABOUT two inches long by an inch
| VIDE, which had probably been fashion.
ed for advertising purposes by some
underwear manufacturing establishment
| on, all right, I'll take it to the prest-
cent said the doorkeeper, accepting
the present without smile, and tne
! man went away contented The door
keeper mustered up sufficient temeritv
to hand the tiny undershirt to President
Harrison that afternoon, explaining how
| ne had come into possession of it. Gen
Harrison laughed heartily as he held
the bit of red flannel up before him.
| wen, said he, I've always been
aware that my stature is nothing prodig-
lous, put didn't know that they had
reduced me to these dimensions
| 1t seemed as if all the female cranks
| in the country wanted to see Mrs CIeve-
land in President Cleveland's first term
| queer-looking little old woman turned
up at the White house one morning.
not long after Mrs. Clevelands installa-
| ton as first lady of the lana. Her
shol1aders We're shrouded in an old Pals
ley shawl, and in the ends of this shawl
| she had swaddled up a little. very old
| toothless and half-blind skye terrier
Good morning, serfs," said the litt1e
Ola lady, smiling pleasantly at the door
Keepers, I'm Cleopatra, you know"
Inc doorkeepers made Cleopatra a rev
| erence, and she undid the loose ends Of
the shawl swaddling the aged skye ter
rier and showed the dog to them.
thought I'd leave poor little Charm
! ION with Mrs. Cleveland you know" said
| the little old woman. rather patheticallv
Il am going to visit the tombs of my
! ancestors In the Pyramids shortly and
| the Pyramids are so damp lately that |
| fear Charmion will take cold If take
| her along with me. So I thought l would
| leave her with Mrs. Cleveland while I
am gone. - And the little old woman
gazed affectionateiy at the wheezy ter
| rier and stroked it's head.
The doorkeepers felt so sorry for tb,
| old woman that they were half incline,
to take the dog from her and care foI
II In its age and deerepitude, but the fea,
that she might bother by frequently call
| Ing to inquire. after the animal deterre,
them The authorities took charge of tn
woman, whose mind had become unset
tied as a result of many troubles. an,
her dog and cared for both of them
A middle-aged woman, none too wei
dressed, but very neat and tidy. Gale,
/ at the White house one afternoon to
ward the close of President Cleveland
first administration. When she got I,
she beckoned one of the doorkeeper
aside. ~
Now, wouldn't have you mention i
for worlds she whispered to the door
keeper, but how shall 1 arrange to sen.
Mrs. Cleveland some of my cast OF
| dresses2"
The doorkeeper, who. until the woman
spoke, had no idea that her mind wa
wrong. ducked at this and made som
evasive reply.
"They tell me that the poor thin,
lie