davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
FROM OUR CONTEMPORARIES

Faint purse ne'er Won fair lady,
Life.
Our adversely should often be
spelled perversity.-Ram's Horn.
Do not mistake excitement for
amusement nor idleness for calm
Good Cheer.
Dyspepsia, with all it's terrors, can't
keep man from eating, but it can
make him wish he hadn't, good and
hard.-Puck.
The love a loyal man feels is al
ways poorly expressed-only the cold
in love make fine speeches about it.
Town Topics.
A Pan-American sight recent was
a, Japanese in American clothing rid
ing in jinriksha drawn by an Amer
lean CARRIED as Japanese.-Buffalo
Express.
A man gets mad if any man looks
at his daughter of 16, and if she has
reached 26 without any man looking
at her, he begins to look at her crit
ically HIMSELF Atchison Globe.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
CALLED KATE SHELLEYBRIDGH
immense Vinduct in Iowa to BE
Named After the Young
Heroine.

-Four miles, west Of Boone, H., is
nearing completion what is said to
be the highest double track railroad
bridge in the world, says the New
York Tribune. For 80 years the
Chicago & Northwestern railway
has found it necessary to wind
around many curves and down steep
grades to cross the Des Moines river
at Molngona. The section of II
miles of track between Boone and
Ogden has been the most dangerous
on the main line of this great trans
continental system. The mainte-
nance of ''pushers" and the extra
expense of hauling heavy loads up
difficult grades, besides numerous
accidents that have occurred from
time to time, have demonstrated the
wisdom of this cutoff between
Boone and Ogden. Besides, there
will be a saving in the distance of
more than three miles and of fully
half time. To obviate these obsta-
Giles the Northwestern has con-
structed new double track line and
is building across the Des Moines
river this wonderful viaduct.
Twenty years ago, between Boone
and Moingona, on this same tortu-
Gus line, about to be abandoned, an
engine went through bridge at the
time of a raging flood. From her
widowed mothers cottage near by
maiden of 16 years saw the en-
gine's headlight disappear in the
raging torrent. Lighting a lantern,
she sped away through the storm to
Moingona. told of the disaster and
saved a passenger train from follow
ing the Inflated engine to q watery
grave. The state of Iowa gave her
medal for her bravery, her name
has been celebrated in poetry and
prose, and, as a lasting monument
to her heroic deed, it has been de-
cided to name this structure the
Kate Shelley bridge.
A type of the structure is that
commonly known as the viaduct.
This type of construction is usually
employed for carrying traffic over a
deep and wide chasm in which the
question of waterway is only of Sec
ondary Importance, and in which
economy and safety are about the
only limits placed upon the design
er. This viaduct consists of a num-
Der OF plate or lattice girder spans
supported upon braced towers. The
spans forming the top of the towers
are IS feet long, while those span
ming the space between two towers
are Is feet long. Not all of this
bridge, however, is of the viaduct
type, for across the channel of the
river is truss span 300 feet in
length. The viaduct proper forms
that part of the structure extending
from the ends of this truss span
across the valley to the adjacent
bluffs.
The length of this structure is
1865 feet, the height from low wa
ter to the base of the rail 1s5 feet
The width of the deck is 30 feet
ample for the double tracks. More
metal is used in the construction OF
this viaduct than of any similar
structure in the world. The approx.
innate weight of the superstructure
is $3.50 tons, and of the superstruc
ture 400 tons, making a total OF
nearly 6,1Oo tons. The cost will ap
proximate 100000 for the bridge
and 100000 more for the new dou
BILE track between Boone and o.
den, making a total of $1,10O, 900 ex
pended upon this work.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Gave Him Warning,

Western Judge-Why did you kill
Long Jack?
Hair-Trigger Ike-He was a bad
man, y'r honor, an it was case O.
chaw or be chawed.
Judge-Did you give him any warn
ing before you shot him?
Hair-Trigger lke--Oh, yes, y'r hon
or. told him to hold up his hands,
n. Y. Weekly.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
The Darned Socks.

The hospital nurse leaned over the
form of the PROSTATE sufferer. "Your
feet. are torn and bleeding," she said;
"you must have had terrible jour
ney."
at was my wife's fault. She insist
ed''-a sudden look of anguish came
owed the face of the patient-"on darn
ing those socks herself"
Weekly.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
BREAKING IT GENTLY.
HOW a Diplomatic YOungster Finally
Got Down to the Narrowing
Details.

''What do you want, little boy"
yarn in the Chicago Tribune.
SIS this where Mr.. Upiohn lives
ma'am?"
"Yes."
"The Mr.. Upjohn that runs the
bank?"
'He is in officer in the bank"
'The Mr.. Upjohn that went down
town on trolley car this morning?''
II presume he went on a trolley car
WHAT
us he the Mr.. Upjohn that was in
that horrible street car accident?"
II haven't heard of his being in any
street car accident"
s'Didn't hear at he'd sprained his
ankle jumpin' out o. the car when the
train run into it?''
mo. Little boy, you brighten me
What has"
didn't hear how he run to drug
store fur piece O. court plaster tc
stick on a little cut he'd got over the
eye?"
''Not at all. For mercy's sake"
HE isn't in, is he, ma'am?"
eNo, he's"
''Name's John U. Upjohn, isn't it?"
eyes, that's his name."
''Then he's the same man. He won't
be here for an hour or two, I guess
cause he's stoppin' to have one of his
teeth frightened that got knocked a
little bit loose when he was jumpin
out o danger, y know"
"Little boy, tell me the whole story
L think can bear it now"
swell, ma'am, he's in the hospittle
with four ribs broke, an one leg in a
sling, an his nose is Knocked kind O
sideways, but he's gettin' along all
right, an he'll be out agin in about a
month, an here's letter FIN the doc.
tor, tellin' ye all about it, ma'am."
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
SWEDEN.

The English steamer Wala collided with
the Swedish steamer Frithjof in a dense
fog near Visby. The bow of the former
struck the side of the latter. A boat
was lowered, and the crew of FrithjOf
crowded into it. But the ship went to
the bottom at once, and the boat and it's
occupants went down with it. Only two
were saved of a crew of eleven.
The soldiers home at Ljungbyhed is
utilized to it's full capacity by the SOL
diers stationed at that place. During
recess. and especially in the evening, the
writing and reading room is completely
filled with quiet men of different ages
who are busily engaged in reading or
writing. 1t is obvious that the institution
Is supplying great and natural demand
The sixteenth annual congress of the
Salvation Army will take place in Stock
holm, July to H. General Booth is to
preside in person. The old gentleman is
very fond of his Swedish troops" Four
teen Stockholm steamers have been char
tered for an excursion to Sodertelje, and
steamers from other places have also
been engaged. The Olympia theater has
been rented for a grand rally. The state
railroads and many private railroads are
Offering reduced rates.
A number of peat dealers held a con-
vention at Eslof, and organized them
selves into the Peat Manufacturing Com
pany of Southern Sweden.
The city of Malmo. after discussion
which lasted eleven years, will at last
have public packing house which is to
cost s25O,OOO. When this. institution is
completed no butchering will be allowed
elsewhere in the city.
Gust Ad. Englund, journeyman
baker, has confessed that he has started
fires at twelve different places in the out
skirts of Stockholm. There seems to be
no reason to doubt his statement when
he says that his aim was to have q
chance to see the fire department in &C
tivity. r.. u.
The city council of Kristianstad has
resolved to build an electric power house
at cost of $4,000.
Consul Person, of Helsingborg, thinks
the prizes offered for objects from An
dree's North Pole expedition are too low
to induce anybody to make a vigorous
search, and he follows up his remarks
by offering handsome sums of money in
addition to the prizes already put on
such objects. "--4 49, 81 .4se.,..
Rudolph Abelin of Norrviken, partici-
pated in the horticultural exposition at
the Paris worlds fair, and his work was
of such a character that the French gov
eminent has conferred upon him the title
of officer de merite agricole. The deco
ration accompanying this distinction is
very rare in Sweden. . 5@@ 4.E.a.
@5 A perfect shower of small, white worms
I fell late one evening at the Malmo rail-
!. way station. Their numbers were so
great that they covered the depot plat
form and the ground like a layer Of
snow. The phenomenon was limited to q
small area. @z55E III II .... Fl AZ s.5ssE
"a large piece OF ground at the Stock
holm Djurgard will be set aside as pub
u lie play grounds. AIS II
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
The Proper Combination.

You may not believe it, but saw a
mirage of sea serpent one day, while
looking out over the WATER" said the
man in the macintosh.
Il can believe it readily enough -
commented the man with the white
spot in his mustache. "You can see
almost anything in the air when the
condition of the atmosphere is just
right"
And when there is just enough
whisky mixed with it," added the man
who had his feet on the table.-Chica-
60 Tribune
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Meant What He Said.

"Oh, there goes Nell Gaddington
with her fnancee," said old Mr.. Grum-
pleson.
"Father!" exclaimed Gladys, who is
graduate of Smith, won't you ever
give up the habit of butchering our
language? You mean feeonsay."
mo, I don't mean feeonsay, nuth-
ec! Amt she goin' to marry the
blame fool for his money?"- Chicago
Record-Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
NOblesse ObliEe.

"Reg your pardon, kind lady," began
the polite beggar, "but I'm badly in
need of money"
II wonder if you deserve help" said
the kind lady, suspiciously. IF were
to give you penny. what would you
do with it?''
"Your generosity would overwhelm
me, ma'am; I'd buy a post card and
write you a note of s."-Tit-Bits.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
How to Make q Vacuum.

Office Boy-Alady out in front wants
to see you just minute.
Mr.. Man-Does she look as # she had
S. S. picnic tickets to sell?
Office Boy-Yes, sir.a
Mr.. MAXWELL, tell her want to
sell her a S. S. picnic ticket-and that
I'll be out in a second.-Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Had to Start the Game,

Amos Squashbeak-No, sir; I won't
give you nothin' to eat. I'm jes' sick
an tired feedin' fellers tibet hain't
"illin' ter work. Why, jes' yesterday
my wife give a loafer hull dried-apple
pie, an the ongrateful scamp went
right to the wood shed an stole new
siA-dollar crosscut saw.
launching Henry-Well, he had ter
git Gle pie open some way, didn't he?
-Judoe
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10

fair in love and war;" and the other
condemning the sacrilege and disobe-
dience to the commands of Those
Above, who had directed that there
should be no intermarriage. The re-
suit was words; these grew to blows,
and blows to open warfare, and, at
length, the Havasupais drove the
Apaches out from their canyon home,
and ever since there has been the most
mortal hatred and enmity existent be-
tween them.
But the bereaved bridegroom cared
little for anything that transpired.
He wanted the woman he had lost, and
even more than for his bride he longed
for revenge. This was what he longed
for and dreamed of, and finally reso-
lutely set about to gain. He craftily
laid his plans, changed his appearance
as far as possible, taught his face new
tricks of expression and compelled his
voice to use new tones, and then, going
off to the desert, began his hunt for
his lost bride. He wandered in the
forests and over the high mountains.
He camped in the deep canyons and
ravines, and got lost in the fearful
mazes of the gorges of the Tonic
Basin. Several times he was nearly
captured by hostile Indian foes, and
it required all his skill and craft to
protect himself. Finally his search
was rewarded. He found his foe.
Putting on friendly guise he wormed
himself into his confidence and be-
came his companion. After weeks of
planning he got his enemy to go away
into the northern desert with him,
There, while the Apache was asleep, he
fell upon him and bound him hand and
foot. Then as his prisoner he marched
him back to the canyon of. the Havasu.
There all the people came to gloat
over his capture and the wise men
were asked to devise horrible and
fearful death. They decided to take
him to the steepest wall of the Grand
canyon, where there is precipice
1900 feet high. Here, one man taxi
ing the wretched prisoner by the hair
and another by the feet, he was swung
to and fro over the abyss until he gave
visible signs of the dread and fear he
felt within, and then, with yell, he
was allowed to drop and fall, crushed
out of all human semblance, upon the
cruel rocks beneath. 49,.
And, said my informant, 'tto warn
my people forever against having any
thing to do with the Apaches, Those
Above placed upon the wall where the
trail was up which the Apache went
with the Havasupai mans bride, two
great figures, here shown. One is of
the stolen woman and the other is of
the thief" These are objects o. great
reverence to the Havasupais, who
name them the ''Wig-li-i-wa," and il.
them they read the danger of mans
yielding to the desires and lusts of the
flesh and intermarrying with those
forbidden. G. WHARTON JAMES.
= 70
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
A Time for Everything.

Accused Officer-I admit dat I wuz
drunk and insulting people; but I wuz
off duty and in citizens clothes, sir! ~
Police Commissioner-Tha is just
the point, sir! When you are off duty
and in citizens clothes you have no
more right getting drunk and insulting
people than anybody else, oir!-Puck.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Dog and Kitten.

The servant man of family took a
kitten to pond with the intention of
drowning it. His masters dog went
with him and when the kitten was
thrown into the water the dog
sprang in and brought it back to
land. A second time the man threw
it in and again the dog rescued it;
and when for the third time the serv-
and tried to drown it the dog, as res
olute to save the little helpless life as
the man was to destroy it, swan with
it to the other side of the pool, ran
all the way home with it, and depos-
tied it before the kitchen fire. From
that time the dog kept constant
watch over the kitten. The two were
inseparable, even sharing the same
bed.-LonCon Spectator. -
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Love Tint Makea No Return

Love That Makes No Return,
For love he forfeited his friends
For love he turned away
From honors such as men are glad
TO strive for night and day;
For love he lost what nobler men
Would be most loath to lose,
And had no recompense, because
Twas all for love of booze.
Chicago Record-Heraid.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
More Than Good.

Entire nous,' said Miss Ayers, who
delights in talking dictionary French,
fare you very fond of Mr.. Goodhart?"
"Well," replied May Brightley, "he's
a very good friend of mine"
"Ah! Your bon ami?''
"Better than that. He's my bonbon
ami. He brings me box every time
he calls. Ca tholic Standard and
Times.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
A Misht,

"That engagement of young Mr..
Dolley and Miss Kittish is broken off. -
"What was the cause?'
"Oh, Dolley put his foot in it, as
usual"
"How?'
"He was trying to pay her com
pliment and said she'd been looking
real pretty the last few days" DE.
troit Free Press.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
I'm a Tight Place.

L
"You look thoughtful tonight,
Smith," remarked Brown, as he
stretched himself on the bed.
eyes," sighed Smith; II have just got
note from the landlady."
"What does she say?"
"She says that must pay my back
board at once, or her daughter will sue
me for breach of promise. I'm think
ing what I'd better do."-Tit-Bits.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
sJmaf Sn.

This world Is like a crowded bus,
A few good men perhaps
May find a seat, but most of us
Must hang on by the straps.
Harlem Life.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Not a. Success.

81 warn you," he said, threateningly,
ito keep away from Miss Billion. I've
been making love to her myself"
"Have you really?" replied his rival.
"Well, she'll be glad to have the matter
cleared up"
Cleared up! What do you mean?"
"Why, she said she thought that's
what you'd been trying to do, but she
wasn't e."-Chicago Post.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
MisEivinEs.

"That was a very lucid document
you prepared" said the friend.
eyes," answered the statesman,
obviously. II made it so lucid that I
am afraid the public will fail to re.
gard it as able and profound. WASH
ington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
s! 81 |i6f755iF5i;z]6f Il }1z5Eli IS: =
A Suggestion.

Don't you know" said the kind
faced old gentleman who stops to talk
with the children, "that it is very
wrong for you to fight boy smaller
than yourself?"
Eyes, was the reflective reply.
I'm willing to take my share of the
blame. But think he ought to have
lecture, too, on the imprudence Of
speaking rudely to boys who are big.
ger than he is."-Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
The Arithmetic of Love,

Gladys Beautigirl-I insisted last
night that Jack and should count the
kisses we exchanged.
Maud Askington-What was the re-
suit?
Gladys Beautigirl - Why, after
awhile we disagreed as to whether we
were in the sixth or seventh hundred.
and we had to begin all over again
Town Topics.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
The FLYING Visit.

That mans my friend who just steps in
My Office, makes his errand spin.
Then says: I'm off, must not stay
I see this is your busy day.
Chicago Record Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10

First Shirtwaist Man-There goes
Mr.. Schermerhorn in new shirt
waist!
Second Shirtwsist Man-That is no
new shirtwaist! That's one of his last
summers shirtwaists-see how large
the sleeves are!-Brooklyn Eagle.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Quite in Season,

You talk about your "blue bloods!"
The bluest Of the blue
Is the one who plays the races
On tips that don't come true.
Chicago Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
A PQCnIinrifv

Some men of wealth have made q lot.
And, pray, what have they done with It?
They simply add to what they've got
Instead of having fun with it.!
Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10

He-I see that a French physician
says yawning is beneficial to the
health.
She-Indeed! I've wondered num-
Der of times why have been SO un-
usually well since you took to coming
here to spend the evenings.-Pear-
sons. 49, "--
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
A Man of Small Caliber,

''They say she has more money
than her husband can possibly
spend" 49, 80
81 don't doubt it. never thought
. he had much ability Topics,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
Acquired Taste,

3 Briggs 1T may seem strange to you,
but my wife thinks I'm as good as
there is going. %.....-.s .--% $780,: .
i Griggs- Sort of an acquired, taste,
I suppose like tomatoes, or olives, for
instance Boston Transcript.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
hickIy--PoDulated Country

+ Bengal, with an area of q 203 ,473
square miles nearly quarter less
than the area of Texas-has popu-
latipn Of 74,713,00e
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
CheriShel,

The man who thinks he knows 1t all
We oft abuse him slyly,
But green goods men and bunco sharps
Esteem him very highly.
Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10

"What would you advise me to make
of this colt, trotter or pacer?"
I'D make sausage of HMM. Y.
Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
THE TEASING THING.

He-I have spoken to your mother.
She-Have you! And did she accept
Sloper.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-07-10
They jump.

Two things there are that women
Will jump at in a trice;
These things are rash conclusions
And tim;d little mice.
Philadelphia Press.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-08-29
WANT MORE BANKERS.
Those of Florida and Alabama May
be Invited to Convention.

A meeting of the Savannah Clearing
Association will be held within a few
days, when the matter of an invitation
to the bankers associations of Florida
and Alabama TO attend the Bankers
Convention to be held in Savannah,
June 10, 1902, will be considered. 1t
is very probable that the Clearing AS
ISOLATION Will pass a resolution, re-
questing the chairman of the Execu-
tive Committee of the Georgia Bank
ers' Association, Mr.. H A Crane,
vice president of the Southern Bank.
to ask the Bankers Associations of
South Carolina. North Carolina and
Virginia to invite the Florida and the
Alabama associations to join in the
general convention of the Georgia,
South Carolina. North Carolina and
Virginia ASSOCIATE ons.
Savannah bankers have a great deal
of business with Florida and Alabama
banks, and they would like to see
bankers from those two states attend
the convention. Unless the associa-
tions act in the matter, it is probable
that Savannah bankers will send per-
sonal invitations to bankers of Flor
ida and Alabama.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-08-29
OPTION ON A VESSEL.
Was Held by the o. 8. $. Co., but 1t
Was Not Ordered.

The Ocean Steamship Company, de-
spite its heavy and growing business,
will be content with its present fleet
and the new vessel, the city of Mem
phis," now under construction by the
Delaware River Iron, Shipbuilding and
Engine Works. An option was held
by the company upon another vessel,
but this option has about expired. and
the company will not take advantage
CT it. For a time. at all events. it
will not build another new ship.
President John NJ. Egan was asked
about the new ship yesterday. He
said that the ACCESSIBILITY of getting
two new ones. the CITY Of Memphis"
and another, had been considered. In
fact. an option had been secured. It
was decided, however, to invest in but
one d. this stage.
The Montgomery" was to have been
the name of the other ship, it is said.
if it had been ordered. This would
be following up the practice of the
company, which is to name its vessels
for Southern cities. Savannahians
think the company should certainly
have a steamship bearing the city's
name. When an order is placed for
another vessel, it is possible that
pressure may be brought to bear to
induce the company to bestow the
name Savannah upon her. The COM
pany had a ship of that name, but
she was wrecked in 1898 off the South
Carolina coast. The first steamship
to cross an ocean sailed from Savan-
nah, and bore the city's name, so it
is thought it should be perpetuated.