Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1901-08-02
|OUTSIDlIE POINT Of VIEW.

SNSsyyyne Sa.sO1 ANo 49, VS1sNVsl
= 49,
Written for tho Times-Repbulican.
II noticed. said the, writer, that
Fitz de Noodles brought down pound
of chocolate creams, and that not only
Angelina and Seraphina helped him eat.
the truck, but that you, Mrs. B., ate a
Dozen more or less, of the heat produce
ing tionRry. Madam, a woman Of
your age ought to know better, espe-
cially during this heated term. Mrs,
Birdseye, we must adopt more conserv-
atfve diet. We must increase me use of
fruits for breakfast. Furnish me and
this family with no more meat during
this hot spell. For breakfast, fruit,
coffees cakes or light bread. Let our
dinners hereafter consist of fish, all
manners of vegetables, anu for a change
spring chickens. Omit pastry, unless
perhaps q little corn starch pudding or
some other form of non-heating vege-i
table product And for the last meal OF
the day, nothing will suit me better
than a bowl of bread and milk. After
this hope you will conf,ne yourself to
Lemonade will suit me-"
Isl . - I
And all this will suit me-" smilingly
remarked the housekeeper. Il will now
step out and give to the Hardups that
eight-pound loin roast OF beef you or
dered this morning, and which heard
you tell the cook to serve rare and also
In the plain gravy. We have only five
poundse Of bacon in the ice box, which
you bought yesterday. 1t will be too
heating for man of your age. I'll give
that to the Killduffs. 1t will not heat
them. And while I'm emptying out the
ice box, what shall do with that one
half dozen bottles of beer, you placed
there to take two days to COOL There's
over three per cent of alcohol in beer,
and with the thermometer at 100 degrees,
that's too much for a man who devotes
his whole attention to mental work and
philosophical study. There are also some
other peculiar shaped bottles full Of
( heat quality in the pantry, who shall
present them to? A brilliant thought
strikes me: will send them to the
hospital; they can use them in emer-
gencies: Your viii Is law in this house.
Mr.. b.. I will see to it that this family
goes on diet Of worms, II you only In
innate your wishes"
$50
I wish you could for once get your
mind into scientific frame, Mrs. Birds
eye. It's nonsence to talk of giving
away that beef. which was cut just in
the right place. That bacon cost %
cents a pound Don't you know that a
cold wave is sure to strike US soon. AS
for the bottled beer. some one may drop
+ In who does not have your radical, not
+ to say. extreme or foolish ideas. on iced
tea, lemonade and milk Worse than all,
Irs. Blrdseye, by just such, talk as you
have just INDUCED in, you have COM
mitted hot weather crime. You have
irirtated me, or tried to, which shows
the intent. During such spells of hot
weather with month to six weeks or
upwards OF 80 degrees every day, one
should not only keep calm, undis-
turbed condition of mind, but by all
means avoid any stirring up Of the pas
sions Of others. Speak gently to the
cook. Metaphorically, call the hired girl
pet names. If the milk man leaves
sour milk. or the ice man fails to mo-
tice the flag, remember a soft answer
turneth away wrath, and to get a man
or woman wratly these days is almost
even think fast. for thus you increase
the flow of blood to the brain, accelerate
the hearts beat, produce perspiration,
anu general lassitude. This fast thinking
Is cause of much intemperance. When
a person arrives at the condition of las
situde then the idea OF stimulants is
suggested and INDUCED In. In the mat
ter OF dress l have but little to offer. L
only hope you do not allow the house.
maid quite SO much latitude in the way
Of the Hubbard fashion. Remember she
has to answer the bell when Mr.. Pessi-
mist calls. Again ''
Pa Birdseye, are you trying to re-
hearse a lecture on hot weather food,
habits and thoughts?" asked Seraphina.
Still you are no worse than other
newspaper men. OF all the nonsense
in the papers, this hot weather advice
is the hottest stuff any where. ('Don't
use slang In hot weather Seraphina,' re-
marked the scribe.) You're almost as
bad as those shirt waist preachers. One
would think that those preachers i'm
agined that Just because woman wore
shirt waist she must be cool, and IL
man only had on shirt waist he
would enjoy a forty-f1ve minute serum
in superheated church audience room
Pa, your talk has made me hot under
the collar. (Well. well, we'll, such vul-
gar slang again, was the reproof by the
writer.) wish had the nerve OF Mrs.
Lease, I'd tell the men folks something
about women's cool dresses, shirt
waists. etc. always claimed Fitz de
Noodles had more sense than some
folks, but here he was today with a belt
on. drawn up to the last mole: actually
made his eyes bulge out. And sensible
man like you Pa, the idea of your wear
ing a great big, high, stiff linen collar
with a soft shirt. And patent leather
shoes on such a day as this. If was
a man I'd have independence enough to
wear; q soft hat soft white flannel
shirt with rolling collar, blue flannel
trousers and low cut cloth shoes. If
-----l'"
Angelina, get your poor little sister
fan and some iced tea. She is COM
hitting a hot weather crime by getting
excited. Still she's martyr to a good
cause, Some one In this family has got
to do some OF the talking beside the
family philosopher"
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