The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1901-11-21
A HARD WATER YARN.
AbsalOm Nailed His Boat to 1t 10
Keep from Floating Away
So He Said

lstepped out of the fiat-bottomed boat,
ito row this thing along, although it
is not very heavy"
1T amt the boat" replied the own
er, from whom l had hired it; lit is the
water what makes it. You see, some
waters thicker'n others, an the
thicker it is the harder it is to pull
through it. Now, I've seed water out
onto a certing western lake what was
so thick an heavy some times that wild
ducks what lit onto it broke their legs
tryin' to swim. They couldn't get out
of it to save their lives, an whenever
We seed them in this fix we'd go an
grab them by the heads an pry them
out with a oar"
THAT must have been pretty thick
hard water" L yentured to remark
while the old man was clearing his
throat, relates a writer in Judge.
Thick" he said; "thickl Well ]
should say it was thick. Why, you
could pick up handful of it an throw
it up like a ball an ketch it comm
down. Why, I've seed fishes a-layin
on top of it, tryin' to take a sun ba tn,
an just when they was a-sunnin' their.
selves nice an warm something would
startle them, an they'd have to burner
like rabbits to get down under it.
have often stood at the stern of the
boat an dug them up while they was
a-tryin' to escape"
What! dig up water like dirt?" l
asked, in dismay.
Yes, dig up water like dirt" he per-
sisted. you could dig post holes in
that water, an the holes would stay
there long enough to give you a show
to build a dock. | remember once
when l was out in my fat-bottomed
boat hard wind came up, an it was
so hard that it began to make the boat
move along, an | wanted her to stand
still. l hadn't no anchor with me, so
what do you think l did?"
Il cant imagine" replied.
"Of course you can't, so I'll tell you.
L took big nail out of my pocket an
drove it down through the bottom of
the boat right about the middle. Yes,
sir; L nailed that boat right down to
the water, an the first thing l knew
the wind began a-blowin' her around,
fer she was on a pivot. Round an
round L went, an never moved inch
forward or backward, until l got so
tired of it that l had to pull up the
nail an go ahead. While l was a-rat-
tim around, fish that l had pulled
out of the water with a pair of tongs
jumped out of the boat and landed on
his tail, an stood in that there position
a-gaspin' fer wind. By a most awful
effort he Topped his tail out an turned
a somersault, and landed right onto
his tail again. Then, somehow or 9th.
er, instead of gettin' out of breath,
he got his second wind, which is mighty
uncommon fer a fish, fer l never
knowed one to get it bel fore; an he ran
somersaultin' away until the wind sort
of Topped a wave over onto him, SOS
he could swim. Then the wind got
a-blowin' higher an higher an harder
an harder, an all that blamed thick,
tough water was blowed up into high
waves. just before it got a-blowin'
so hard a flock of wild ducks lit on the
water what was bein' bowed into
waves of all sizes. The next mornin'.
when | went out, there wasn't no wind
anywheres around; but what do you
think? The waves was all there, just
as solid as if the lake had been plowed
up an was all full of turner's; an right
along on top of tbs highest one them
wild ducks was asittin' like a lot of
clothespins, laughin' fit to kill their
selves, but stationary an unable to
get off, an just sent my water spaniel
out after them"
How in the world could he swim
when the water was so thick and
solid?" 1 asked.
Swim, swim?" repeated the old
man, contemptuously. "He didn't
swim at ail-he ran along on the water,
an he had to stick his claws in to keep
hisself from slippin', an just then"
"Absalom!" shrieked a feminine
voice from within the shanty, won't
you never get through talkin' an split
them kindlin's?"
ana ADSalom excused himself, and
l wandered back to the hotel to mar
vel at the wonders of the hard, thick
water on which Absalom had also told
me people used to spread the weekly
wash to dry.
slack Harkaway" Dies.
Jack Harkaway" (Mr. Brace bridge
Hemyng), has Just died in ENGLAND.