The Washington times., 1901-10-20

Father Rogers tombstone; an the result
was that the fame o. my goats spread
from the Heights of Ireian' to KiImore
city. | made money. hand over fist: an
every penny went into goats. until had
so many hastes that divil another could
find room over Father Kavanagh So I
took quiet rayson wild myself. dye see
an it was that way l came to lay down
my thayory
Il says to myself: .'Tis not the grass
that counts. but the mar .h=..'s buried
under the grass Craze a goat over a
tramp or blackguard, an heT turn out
blackguard or tramp. But Craze your
goat over a dacint. honest man, an you'll
have a dacint, honest goat 'Tis aisy to
see the dayduotion l made from them
facts-as Mr.. Carney himself admitted to
me afterward.
Well. Father Rogers grave bein' occu-
pied. had to look around for new piece
o good man's grass. III try the quality
next, says 1; an l tied my new goats to
the very stone you're sittin' ou-the tomb
OF ould Godfrey O'Carney, Mr.. Carney's
ancestor. that was lord here before Yel-
low Williams time. The goats turned ou:
well enough in point o. dacincy: but they
got so mortal proud off that oCarney
| grass that they were no use any more
/ They turned up their noses at nettIes and
| prassheoch. Nothin' but the best an tin
| dnerest grass was good enough for the
likes o them; for the ould o'Carney sap
| had got into their veins, an there's no
| finer an no ouldher blood in Leinstfr
| than the same OCarneys-or Carneys, as
| they call themselves now, since every
gombeen man sticks an % to his faith
ers name Sure. that's the Carney
pride all over! They'd rather sacrifice
the % that they fought for six hundrhed
year an mere than share II wild them
that had no call to it. Wen, anyhow,
the goats that grazed over Sir Geoffrey
an his wife (she was a Butler of Or
mond) turned out SO naughty that ! had
to give them to the priest-because, ys
see. tbs the custom in these parts to take
all your troubles to the church.
"By-an'-by my thayory worked so wen.
an I made SO much by grain goats over
good. quiet men. that 1 could afford to
expayriment-as Mr.. Carney calls 1t
Them experiments would ill a book
Il grazed goat on Marty Dowling the
preachers grave; an that goat never
cared for his own grass. but loved nothin'
SO much as stealin' from his neighbor.
Another goat fed over Larry Gafagan
(the best hurler. runner, an lepper in the
parish was LarryD: an the diyil himself
couldn't hould that baste Wild my own
two eyes / saw him take the big inshrance
gates at Castle Carney in one bound He
could run faster than the wind an Mr.
Carney called him The Athlete Ye can
see for yourself how he became an ath-
Iete.
But the last O. my experiments was
wild the goat l took outside the wall to
where murdherers an suicides-mighty
few O. the like was ever in Ballycarneyi-
! has to be buried. Oae dark night the
poor, misguided crayture burst his chain,
gored two other goats to death, and was
found drowned in the River Feoir next
morning. There he lay-murdherer an
suicide in one; an twas all my fault for
grain him where 1 did.
That brought me remorse o conscience,
and 1 followed out the thayory widout
any more experiments. The good goats
| that could stand a bit o. divilment l put
| en- the graves O. playboys an merry feI-
| lows; an the bad goats, that we're far
| gone in wickedness, were hobblcd over
| fine. dacint men, like Father Roger Kava-
| negh But the goats that were too poor
| sperrited an humble beyond rayson 1
! brought to the O'Carney graves where
| the grass is so proud it wouldn't grow
| daisies. An the outcome O. my thayory,
| your honor. is that my goats keep at the
: same level all the year round. Sorra finer
/ breed o goats yen find from here to the
| Black North
! Danny paused abruptly at tbs juno
| ture-his crooked figure assuming an atti-
tude of the keenest attention. Indeed,
| there was something strongly sugge stive
of his own goats about the little man
he listened eagerly, snuffing the air. goat
| fashion. as though scenting distant trou-
BILE. Then. clambering upon Sir Geoffrey's
tombstone. he took rapid survey of the
churebyard. a light of comprehension
spread over his wrinkled face as he hop
ped from his perch. Meanwhile my own
dulIer ears had caught the sound which
disturbed my mentor, the distant clashing
Of goat horns.
'tMuisha! Muisbai" cried the little sex
! ton; "'tis the thayory workiu', your
horor. Last night I shifted dacint goat
from Father Rogers grave to where Ian
ty Horan-the swearin', swaggerin', fight
! ing blackguard- under the black
| thorn beyant: an the goat that was
| browsin over poor Lanty 1 dragged wild
! great trouble to Father Rogers blessed
grass.
| AN what, think you, is the result o.
| the thransfer? There's Lantry Horan's
savage goat turned mild spring va.
| ter, grain pesceably. an strivin' to for
| get his evil rast. when along comes the
very same nice, gentle goat that 1 took
| from the priests grave only last night
May l die an Oranssman, If Father Ro-
gers goat ha sn't been utterly ruinated by
one single night o Lanty HOran; an If
don't make haste. he'll puck my latest
convart into goats flesh"
And away liTred Danny Nowlan to pre-
vent any further mischief which might
arise from the too accurate workings OF
his '.thayory" on the grass O. the
graves. ."-CornhiH Magazine.