The Virginia enterprise., 1901-09-27
|Clerk-"When shall I put the ads in ~
AT once. We've got to get enough
money together to pay the next divi~
dend." ."-Detroit Free Press.

CLERK When shall put the ads in ~
AT. once. We've got to get enough
money together to pay the next divi-
dend."-Detroit Free Press.
T. Uncertain.-The pecunlary difficulties
IL which aspirants for literary fame be-
come involved have inspired many an
Sanecdote.
Heres a poem on the Emerald Oisle,'
the editor Of weekly newspaper in
large town, ''an' it's hoping you'll take
it 0i am
.'What is your address?" inquired the
editor
THAT depends entoirely on you, sorr."
depends on me?' echoed the editor;
what do you mean"
IF you take the poem, sorr, me adj
dthress will shtill be siventy-wan King
sthrate," replied the sanguina poet: "but
If you don't take it, it's meself that'll
be left without any addthress to ME
name, if me landlady kapes her wurrd.
sorr"'-London Spare Moments.
-:O:-
His Preference-"Would you rathe:
have something else than piece of pie?"
asked the kind neighbor of little Fred
die, who had run an errand for her.
Yes, ma am" said Freddie promptly;
Il wu'd ruther hav' two pieces. s.''-Ohio
State Journal.
George is years old and his father
read him the impressive story of George
Washington and the cherry tree and the
subsequent frank admission. Noticing
the look of astonishment on the child's
face, his father asked, Don't you think
he was very good boy?" GOOD,
papa?' said George incredulously. why
of course he knew his father had got
wise anyhow"
This reminds us of the story of the
mother who, after reading "Casabianca"
| to her little daughter, remarked: Now,
| wasn't he good little boy?''
"Yes." sighed the child, ''He was aw-
| fully good, but he wasn't one bit smart"
! New York Evening Sun.
She Was It-"Mr. Gallent, you are
something OF student Of human
nature" began Miss Bewchus coyly.
'"Ah, but now," he interrupted, flashing
divinity student ''-Philadelphia Press.
| A good story is told by the London
King of famous scholar, whose hobby
was the derivation of words, and who
had occasion to store his furniture while
proceeding to the continent in quest of
the origin Of the term 'Juggins.' Dur.
|
from the warehouse company the follow
ing letter: "Sir-We have the honor to
inform you that the mattrass you sent
| to our store had the moth in it. Since
the epidemic would expose the goods of
other clients to INJURY, we have caused
The scholar replied: Dear Sir-My
mattress may, as you say. have had
moth in it, but I am confident that it
had an e. in it ALSO"
,'"rhat's good counsel the new preacher
gave u.s. said the deacon.
Love yer neighbor while he sleeps, but
watch him while he wakes. Atlanta
The Syracuse Herald relates that
little Harold had been told in Sun.
day school that the Lord would
heal in answer to praye: 4 thun-
derstOrm happened u De raging at
toothache. and his mother overheard this:
''Oh Lord, stop my tuothachc-': Silence
do; for Heavens sake, stop my tooth
ache" More silence; then crash Of
thunder; then: 'Oh, Lord, please do
listen to me- The next day Harold
had his tooth pulled. and now he wouldn' t
be a faith healer for 81 in casn and an
airgun.
A Proper Supposition.- -'What was thai
animal that hat, was half horse and half
1n if ee be bsd cspsH' Ses" half Ga donkSy YES and
half man he'd have been a dude" ."-Har-
| lem Life.
The summer vacation school was wind
ing up with an entertainment, to be
conducted by the children for the chill
dren, and each was to do what he could
a weazened, diminutive boy of Is sat
near the front of the stage holding a
small mouthorgan. There was a lull in
the entertainment. when the master of
ceremonies stepped forward, bcckoned to
the weazened chap and said: Dan
Leary will now oblige by playing de
mout organ wild his nose and chin. An,
| come on. Danny-come on."-Eew York
Evening Sun.
After all. Cervera got out of the San
| tiagO sea fight with the least trouble Of
any of the chief commanders engaged
in that rapidlygr0wing memorable bat
tlc.-Boston Herald.
The meek shall inherit the earth.' ~
said the Sunday school teacher. Now,
can any of you tell me who was the
meckest man?'
The scholars were silent, ani the
teacher said:
His name began with NJ. Don't yol
remember? will tell you the first two
letters They are Mo-
Morgan -Pierpont Morgan" came in
a chorus from the cass.-Baltimor
! American.
"Young lady. don't you know that ev
cry time you smoke a cigarette you drive
nail in your coffin?'
"Oh, nonsense! \ woman can't drive
a nail. l.''-Moonshine.
This is a remarkable healthy climate,
they say" said the fastener.
You're right thar" said Arizona Al.
'F'r instance, not long ago a tender
foot with weak chest an a pale face
dropped into the Miners Delight called
| r,n l;or n, coureo ho1 tO rioo