davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1901-08-29
CHAS. A. RODIG, The Shoemaker.

is again in business and has opened a shop in the Gregory House block He would like to meet all his old patrons and as many new ones as possible.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

band the dock concluded the great
with the trunks
And then Chris Columbo arrived
The dub sailors pulled him in from the
yacht the dock, custom house fly hobs pulled
him up onto the panking
You are discovered smiled the great
two fingers the buttons of fervd
that don't get youse nothing all, cause we stand
right with the administration"
Come an declare lYerself,' ordered the fly
on the left of the great dscoverer.
I'm Chris Colunbo, the great dscoverer, just
spain,s protested the great admiral
.Youse is a candidate for membership in the bum
belfry replied the fly bob the right. What
has yer got to be taxed?'as
BY this time Chris collmbo had worked himself
a mind and he prepared to start things.
I'll mix with first Reuoen of ,--.sfr fresh young
land that attempts get festive with person. he
shouted jerked away from the fly hobs Il
poor bunch all way here to things
Mrs Ferdinand, and any John Henry getting out on
the track will start his fanny down to the dead
house
"Youse will certainly collect sprint for your
rency., smiled fly bob who had been holding
the left side of the Columto frame "Youse will have
youse viii have 0 --rry some for fingers
the riot CALI
Chris Colunlbo filed with amazement. The fly
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

to another is ex-ofiio Hogan British sub
jick. adopted foster father. Some iv US aint
amy kind to TIL oil gintleman In tn matther v tn
Nicaragoon Canal recently pushed him an
about all he mad. But hearts feels tn love
iv tn parent country though is rebeyous an
ivry year fellow merchants gets together In MOO
frgets TIL iv tn wool an allow business
outburst " devotion to TIL oil land FIR m which our
fathers sprung sprung be tn polls
9Th president iv tn bankit frind Morse X
Cheeseshop mmber iv OF Yorkshire family, born
in TIL Ridingiv Long Island befure th Crimeyan
At his right sat tn screty iv state FIR tn colony
his left frind tn ambassadure to tn coor "
Saint James. Why shud sind ambassadure don't
know, though it may be OF custom kept up FIR to
Place TIL people v Omaha He's good man, tn am
bassadure who is inthrajooen' tn American joke in
England Hogan says tn diff renee between Ameri-
joke English joke is tn place to laugh In an
American joke We laugh just tn point. if at ALL
English joke We laugh ayether befure tn point
afther tn decease iy tn joker. TIL anlbassadure
hopes nthraooce iv tn two that We don't laugh
at at all that will be suited to tn Engsh market Ills
experiments so far las been encouragin'.
'sAt the conclusion iv tn eatin' tn chairman Sir
Morse Cheeseshop inthra jooced tn screy v state in
presint His Majesty's representative in this
coun nry, who is thin amy other in tn
plastherin business, he OWN he says, to MINI
bers Sinit lawn hod v bricks fall on his head
recently been able do much tn job, he
says. he brought his trowel an morthar here
tonight if ye will kindly lave off sngn' Brttanya
rules tn prosperity wave tr minyit he'll give We an
exhibition v he wurruks. Me Lords an gintemen,
tn sicrety " state.
Fellow subjicks, says tn sicrety diplomacy
thin it used to be- CA voice,
Good FIR YOU'D In III days iv Bismarck, Gladstun an
Charles Francis Adams twas " intrigue an
deceit. Now it is simple seln' pair " boots
fifteen years tn whole nature iv man is SO changed
that diplomat ony be honest, straightforward
an manly concede vry.ning an he will find his
ponents will meet him half way an take what he gives
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
Mr.. pooleg Again On international Amenities.

will remain true to tn principle " wrongin tn sthron8
an bulyin' tn weak"
eth sicrety w state followed be tn ambassa-
dure wish to tell said he. what good time had
in England. Befure I whit there STRONGLY preJu
diced again England. thought it tn noblest
country which, Dan'l Webster says, tn nver
set without hatchin' out colony. But did it
great injustice. 1t is betther thin what thought 1t
does not fr cna gush such down in this
country. All an English gintleman demands is that
shall be ye'ersl frank, manly an sincere. A little
cry on TIL shoulder. firm grasp fv tn hand brief
acknowledgement that We owe our language an are
payin it back thrachoor boots to him an
his neart opens He cannot conceal his admiration FIR
ye He goes away All, niver will I f'rget tn day
peeked v bedroom window at Windsor Castle an
iv tn sturdy elsts here befure me bein re-
ceived in tn back yard be tn king. mind well tn
wurruds that fell firm his lips whin We left to take
fine lot iv Americans, he what thrfbe did
they belonged to? soos? he says.
80 III avenn' proceeded until twas time to so homo
wfn TIN chairman proposed tn customary toast Me
toast he His majesty Edward TIL Svinth, iv
Grreat Britain an possibly ireland, Nv Ina, Egypt iv
Austhralya, iv South afriein sinse, an Nv tn Do
miniOns beyant tn inc1dn' Moo York, King, De-
finder tn Faith hopeI got it all in 'Ye did, said
tn ambassadure. An tn toast dhrunk with
tnusyasm. Other toasts dhrunk to TIL rile family
tn Protestant Succession to tn Jock iv Argyle who
used to Andrew Carnaygie, an in nanny cases tn
merchants carrid tn glasses away their pock-
cts. JUS tn compny breaking whose
CATERS creaked an said Isn't there
toast? Good hvens, have frgotten somewan? said
Lord Cheesesnop. That was all there was in TIL book
Who dye mane?' he says / name tn presidint iv tn
United States says tn who comes firm Bara-
boo. oh him., says tn chairman in relieved tone.
We'll, annywan that wants to dhrinx his health at
tn bar, he says.
"As comp'ny filed band playin' in tn
admin where they meetn' iv tn Amalga
mated stove-poish men firm tn neighborhood iv Terry
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

plugging him. He has been tried out. I claim that
no one but Diplomat OF the First Water be
cessfu barkeep. Think OF it! He has to discuss
Politics, Religion Puglism, Race Horses, the Drama
Medical Science Seven Up, the Weather, the sthnlan
Canal Reciprocity, and other Topics with dozens OF
Customers every. day, holding his end of the Con-
versation but antagonizng mans Views. He must
pour Oil the troubled Waters, decide Bets pacify the
Jag who is looking to be insuted and reconcile Old
Friends getting ready to Clinch He look
when the Slot Machine sticks the House for
25 Cigars. When an all-night Souse with his Hat
in and beats on the Bar and announces
that is Gentleman, the Barkeep must admit that
such is the Case He listen by the Hour to the
yammering Talk the ga6by Light Weights who
Balloon Essence stand ready to corroborate
any Statement made Regular Patron If ne is asked
to mark something the lee until the Next Time he
decide at whether he is to Cert or else
run for the Settler. He must cultivate Knowledge
Human Nature, that he can tell at u Glance
whether the fuzzy Bat who cuts Circle before he gets
to the rail, is a Hobo Respected Citizen Who is
out on Periodical. For him. Life is series of per-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
Columbus Lands in
America.
CHAPTER v.

When the morning Oct. 49, 1882 reported for work,
the merry little sunbeams Chris Coumbo standing
alone on the quarter deck of flag yacht Chris also
used his feet some in standing. The great admiral
had his motley crew backed clear up into the rigging
Only two days back C. Columbo could have earned
an encore by posing up against mast target
for the star bowie knife the sailor band.
discoverer's finish mixing extract from the
Chinamans national flower with commanders bowl
of the sun-kssed boys from the Southern
cline anxiously endeavorng to forget the
Chris had steered the bunch up against chance
worth real money and the bunch sprint
prsng ancestors of Cevera, Weyler ct al, tnem-
selves running the police department controlling
city treasury actually had the peanut
supply before the sun smacked the housetops.
A mass meeting was called in the forecashe and
Just the play the discoveries
nominated C. Columbo for Resolutions assuring
a successful election drawn committee
liked out to the quarter tell Chris all
To the committee It tne merry ha. Chris
Columbia after training for some eighteen twenty
years Mrs Ferdinands palace several
good when anything plated handea way. Chris
chairman's spell then, pulling his gold
toohpck from between mis- molars brushed cru1nb
fcrgid vest pushed his nanas the speak
ers' list
my followers" started the great admiral you
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
Modern Fable Reckless Wife No One to atCh HeP
By George AIDE.

he went up to the Church Parors to his Work
translated into Soprano. He shook like a Dtce-Box
While waiting for his Number to be called. last she
f1oated to the Foot-Lghts. She Gown that
cost $50 Cart-Whees but she earned the Mon by
singing. Her Voice wouldn't go far as that. The
Accompanist jockeyed for awhile then
Emma Eames No. 2 got rid of the folowing
AVN! Gen-haw hisaw blaw.
Aww. Glons Ooo-noo;
Aw-w! Caw-stawbaw haw
When hi ON fob ah-wah.
Aw-w. Mi ho-hette with dip pulls
AVN! Law be Ell daw-haw
AVN! Hay
Just then there Shrek and an Author In a new
Suit OF Evening Clothes discovered wrth1ng the
Floor, trying to bite the Legs off the Chairs.
MORAL Never allow anyone else your pri-
vate Masterpieces.
The Modern Fable of How One Brave Patsy Work.
ed Himself Into the King-ROw.
A Young Man who Thinning around n Society
learned that the Women of his Acquaintance
Olive stuffed with Red Peppers popular than
the Gun-Drop. Up to that time he had been dealing
In Gum-Drops He had worked along the Theory
that Lady Isabelle hankered for nothing sugar
coated Compliments. All the other Young Fellows fol-
lowed the Method If their Conversation had
been set to Music they have done it as Chorus
He broke away and played the Candid Friend game
Instead of prasing her Costume ne could tell her. on
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

Wine Card on him. He played Golf Pool until
;haed all over and then he played Poker until he had
10 reel to see If the Ante there The Clerk at the
Hotel saw him twice-once when he Registered
once When he to get his Baggage He fell into
Sleeper and told the make up Berths until
dered to stop. In the morning when he awoke with
Head of Seven Gables and reached for his Bromo, he
realized that he had Enjoyed himself.
While he was away, working combine of Business
and Recreation, the Wife a regular
Called in former Cfum and they sailed
Circus Gowns and ordered up Pine Apple Soda regard
less and took in Matinee where the Leading Man
looked right at them occasionally, and then they
MarsnmalloWs all the way Home. They put Old
Wrappers and cooked something in Chatting DISH and
the Wife brought out of her Preserved Letters
and read them and then they turned in together and
giggled naf the Night
But, fortunately, the Husband found how
she carried on.
MORAL: The Reaction is something Terrible
The Modern Fable of the Congressman Who Was
Out Improve
Once there Vacancy in the Diplomatic Service
and certain Congressman recommended friend for
the Place. Another Statesman of about the Cali
bre him and said: You have made of-side
Play. Candidate the Job used to be in the
Saloon Business"
Replied the Congressman: That is exactly why l am
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

line of Parlor Magic that would have queered even
Supper Show. The Bunch advised him to back off the
Dump. When a Young Lady with Glasses tackled
sStabat-Mater' the VIOLIN they broke her with
Cat-CaTs and told her to tear off some Rag-Tme.
They bleated at the Amateur Elocutonst and acted
Rowdy when Stout Woman to read Fairy
Tale Hans Christian Andersen. Then they began
to yell for Nfullgan Hicks and the
Show. Whereupon two pug-facsd Kids forward
and did Hotentot Song and Dance with Buck and
Wing finish killed them dead.
MORAL: The Waits cannot be expected to lift
themselves many Notches above the Public Taste.
The Modern Fable of What Came Out in the Wash.
A kind of a Rough Carpenter in the Verse Line one
day held his Head left Hand while with the
free Wing he carved the following of solid Block
of the English Language, using Fountain Pen.
It Sentimental Song entitled OH" When he
had it Done both Sides read it and admitted
exceedingly Ka-tish 1t seemed to him that
Harry B. Smith would have 20 Want Ad
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
@n PAGES TORN FROM HISTORY. By
By Billy Mac.

department. where you butt in, an will also make
public inventory of the stuff that youse intend to
dump here"
A smile of Christian charity hurried across the map
the great admiral. and with knowing wink to his
first lieutenant he tapped his third finger against
noble pate.
Another funny collection" he smiled to the first
lieutenant thought left them all the other
SIDE Loot, your duty, and receive credit for
making the first pinch in this newly discovered land
And then another bundle of bum luck that was
Sherlock Holmes great dscoverer caught with
Chris Coumbo. The first lieutenant reached for the
bury fly the door and the first lieutenant went
down for the count The dub sailors headed
by the great admiral rushed the but the fly
bobs worked in a downtown gym when the admins
traton was out, and it just May day afternoon
for them.
Chris several dollars worth as middleWeght'
but some taxpayer pulled for the wagon and the
squad broke into the party The great admrai
stopped No with his left lamp and the light went
out The dub sailors lasted quick and three minutes
later the driver Of the hrup started with the bundle
disorderlies
Sitting in second tier No-44s that night, Chris Coum-
DO decided to call off for time his appointment first
mayor OF the world.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
Copyright 1901, by
Robert Howard Russell.

A Young Couple sat and looked devouringly at each
other the first months of the Life Sentence and
finally it became rather trying on the Eyes Therefore
he was glad to be called away for couple of Days.
his first Vacation since leasing the Fiat and ne
sent word some of his former Running Mates to meet
him at Train he could transact his Business in
about 20 Minutes, after which he would his
Bride and begin to barn Holes in the Track
They knew Just what would appeal to quiet Home
Body 400 miles his Firesde They took him in
Tow and gave him Square Meal every Hour. Then they
stood him under a Shower Bath turned the whole
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

the Q. T.. that some other Color more becoming
He would deliberately pick Quarrel as to have
little Tiff and Reconciliation They began to
afraid him they paid Attention to him.
When he did yield Point and bestow Smile OF
Praise, the Lady knew it Sincere. In the mean
time the Boys in the Second Division could not
derstand why the Women took such Interest In
who given to Sour Comments. They never seemed
grasp the Fact that the Olive stuffed with Red Pep
pers Antidote for Gum Drops
MORAL Even Sincerity becomes montonous when
made regular Diet.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

Jump. You ought to Link Cuffs instead of the
kind you have and, fer mercy goodness sake get
yourself pair of Button Shoes instead of those Seows
And if you expect meet any my Friends who are
coming to me during the Holidays, you will nave
to ring few Changes your Grammar, Pronunciation
and Accent. When you just now, you should
have said, Matilda, indeed delighted to welcome
you Home 1 trust that enjoying good Health
Brace up Papa, Your Execution is Lumpy.'
Matilda repeated. Matilda
She had bunkoed the Family Bible and brought home
a Name.
MORAL: The Change may be effected in from six to
nine Weeks
The Modern Fable of the Only Speciality That Cot
Several kind Workers pooled their Efforts
the Waits happy Holiday. They rounded up the lit
tie Hickeys at Mission gave them Free
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

Unfortunately diplomacy ony goes far the dure
1t enable to give polls to tn customer
within he laves tn shop sthrong " tn shit
knocks him down an takes firm him ivrythng he got
inside an more too D plomacy has become philan-
thropic like shopkeepn but pontics lords
is still TIL same OF sport iv highway robpry. But
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
Copyright 1901, by
Robert Howard Russell.

BE hivens" said Mr. Dooley. 81 wisht I'd been
there"
'.where?' asked Mr. Hennessy
'At tn bankit iy tn Ancyent an Hon'rable Chamber
" Commerce in Moo York said Mr. Dooley. 'Tis
hard compes live out here tn prairies
among tn aboriginal Americans firm Poland an Bohay-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

all stand fighting into the street clean
ing department., then several years of
eetic stunts may appointments patromen
anything floating by within reaching distance will
be pulled down by the lunch hooks Of c. Columbo,
late of Genoa, Italy. and little Willie and Harold and
the rest of this bum collection don't get look in
I'VE will now permit six or seven of this dub sailor
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
Hi. Majesty king Edward tn sivinth.

His Majesty King Edward tn Sfvinth.
says. Ills tn on'y Indyan music I iver neerd, he
''Ah WE'LL said Mr.. Hennessy, who cares?"
Faith think yo're right said Mr.. Dooey. "A
man Will swallow annythiny with good dinner. What
Is good FIR what Hogan calls tn iliminthry
nawthin to do with tn Ncaragoon Canal be moro
afraid iv Lord Cheeseshop if he thought
didn't say it. Our Anglo-saxon relations always a
give-away wan"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

Two Pug-Faced Kids Did n HOttentot Song and
Every Swpes the Place Monday Night Gallery
God the Church Talent going against know
ing Proposition.
A pale young Man amber Fire Escapes sprang
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
A Close Cali.

Ed,th-You say you were once In great
danger while shooting In Georgia?
suppose you wounded a bear or some
other dangerous animal?
Choliy-Nopei wounded dog that
the guide thought more of than he did
Of HIS mother.-Puck-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01
By F. P. Dunno.

Hut WHATS that ouandish chune? says Lord Cheese
shop Tis naytional air, west Hoboken says tn
man fri Baraboo. What's it called? says Lord
Cheeseshop TIL Shtar Spangled Banned, TIL man.
WELL Lord Cheeseshop, It's very nthrestin' he
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

hobs passing in curved and they were still
throwing underhand in Spain The fly hobs
looking but then C. Coumbo lad sailed for
forty days just to arrive in time, and Christie
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

while in your Shirt Sleeves. Your Hair is parted
the wrong side. Your Vest is three years the
way-back and to look the Bag in your Trousers
would think that you were getting ready to make
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

look on my the collecti-l of cards that
necessary in euchre game You not count
ers. When I assume the reins of government you may
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

done what cud to PROTECT INTERESTS iv tn mother,
father an brother-nlaw coUntnry an between you an
if don't desarve tn yicorya FIR presintin that
threaty to tn snit nobody does. 1 Will on'y that
hinceforth tn policy-v this mint will be as be
fure not to bully sthrong wrong weak but
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

picking Problems, a delicate manipulation of Alcoholic
Fanc1es, constant Effort to keep with Eoth
Political Parties, the Police and the Wine Agents For
any man who swing such complicated Propositions,
the ordinary Duties of Diplomat would be staple
as Jack Straws What need in the Diplomatic Selv-
ice is fewer Country Politicians and Barkeeps
MORAL It is useless to contradict a Congressman
who has studied Subject for Years.
The Modern Fable of the Shower Blows n
Came Down Paw.
Tile had been away for Three Months Attending
Madame Skagiac's school for teaching Young Ladies
how wither Their Parents. She nome with a
tan-coored Automobile and good deal of Hat look
ing flip a real Actress. The antique Hay
Merchant who had been sending the Money greeted
with Open Arms.
Gal, I'm tarnatfon cked to see you Hum agin,' he
said. How be ye?"
ooh, Papa!' she exclaimed, turning deathy Pale.
you nave Collar or Cravat and you addressing
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

InthrajoOcin' thu American Joke in England.
myn. Me heart at times is burstin FIR to jne in tn
festivities iv fellow Brtons in Moo York. FIR I'm
4 British subjick Hnnissy. wasn't born [
born in Ireland. But nave little put an
vry American that dollar shtick
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

ready to participate particular overheated incident
that might be hurried
I'm going out the yacht now' he said to the
fly hobs, "and I think take you with want
to bring Indian collection back to Isabella
Youse had better rnitts about several add
tiona thinks said the brly fly who had stood
the right win tip off rapidly this
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-12-01

cover Laurels and Private Muse of w. 5. Gil
awful Jealous The Little Thing that he
wrote right his Head follows
on Gentle Maid with Eyes blue
OH Chances so allurng
Oh! Constant be and True,
When l far away.
OH Mild Coduette Oimples rare.
OH will be enduring
oh! Say that others you'll for
And the happy Day
It was such Neat Thing to be done by Hand that he
took it to worked in Music Store and
had it measured Air. Then they had the Ditty
printed in Sheet Forms with Cover in Colors.
They sit around for Hours and sing and pet
each other with Bouquets.
The composer knew an incipent Media who
about to spring ON the Public the Public
wasn't looking. she had voice that had gone
over and sand papered by Dagolni and she promised
to sing it a Church Musicale.
1t was large Crimson Night for We Author when
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1901-11-30
Presidents Heads on Stamps.

If President McKinley's portrait is
put on one Of the postage stamps OF
this country, as dispatches from Wash.
hgton have said is likely to be done
in case the postoff1ce department brings
out new issue, his portrait will be
the ninth of a president to be used In
that way.
As the regular series Of stamps, ex-
Guiding the Columbian, Trans-Missis
sippi and Pan-American Exposition Is.
sues, has now been in circulation with
only slight changes in watermarks and
the like since 1890. change Of some
sort is expected soon by phuatelists.
Ever since Uncle Sans postoff1ce be.
gan making stamps in 1e47 or there.
abouts. the face of Washington has
appeared on one of the stamps in every
regular issue and with a single excep-
ton on stamp Of low value and gen.
eral use. Benjamin Franklin's face
has always adorned postage stamps Of
low value and has thus become famil.
lar to people who send or receive let
tiers ever since 1S47.
Presidents other than Washington
whose faces have appeared on the
stamps are Jefferson, Jackson, Lin
coin, Garfield, Grant, Madison and
Taylor.
OF the stamps Of higher values the
eightcent stamp now bears Sheman's
picture, the ten-cent Webster's, the If
teen-cent Clay's, the thirty-cent Jeffer-
sons, the fifty-cent Jefferson's, the dol
lar stamp Perry's, the two dollar Madi.
sons, and the fivedollar MarshallS.