The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1901-02-17

| Su he
Fun of the Word.
Il volcano" said the teacher n a
Long Island school. IS a mountain. ana
has q crater or deep hole in the center.
from which il throws up or enits smoks.
fine stones and lava. Now. children. can
you tel me what IS 3 v0lcano2
yes. teacher said ore Of the boys
a volcano Is 3 sick mountain
While Bishop Potter OF the Episcopal
church, was travelling through Loulsian4
some years ago, he addressed inquiries
10 his fellow passengers with view Of
obtaining knowledge regarding the or
charas and fruit interests Of the STATE
DO You raise pears IN Louisiana IN
Quired the bishop.
eve do responded the Louisianian.
If We have threes or better.
A delegation once called upon Mr.. Lin
coin TO ask the appointment OF 4 gen
tleman as commissioner 70 the Sandwich
Islands.
Besides his fitness for The place they
urged his bad health The president
said:
Gentlemen. 7 an sorry 10 say that
there are eight other applicants for that
place. and they are ali sicker than your
man
&c ss
Senator Burrows says he has new
story. and here it is.
There is an old darksy who works for
me. He lest his wife-Na. s-the ciher
day, and I was sympajhizing with him
as best 7 could. telling aim that they
would meet in heaven. &c. when the
old fellow broke in.
7 know dat. Mars Burrows; know
dat 1 amt maxim no objections. II
were de act OF p aM-wIse and unscrupu-
lous Providence
A minister was one day walking along
a road. and 10 his establishment he saw
4 crowd Of boys sitting ia front OF ng
with a small dos in the center. When
he came up TO them Re put the follow
ing question; what are you doing 10
the dog?" One little boy said. 'Nhetver
tells the biggest lie wins It" "Oh said
the minister, Il am surprised az you lit
tie boys, for when was ike YOU 7
never told lies" There was silence Tor
a while. until one OF the boys shouted.
Hand him UP the dog!"
4 z
The Bishop Of Norwich tells a pleas
ant story against himself Re was one
day walking in the suburbs, when a 1T
tie girl Of about eight or nine asked.
"Oh, please, sir, Will you open this gate
for me- The bishop. smiling on the
demure little maiden. held hack the gate
for her TO pass through. and when she
thanked him with smile, he asked her
II she was not big enough to open~the
garden gate herself "Oh. yes, sir she
replied, sweetly, but. you see. the paint
Is wet. and 1 should have dirtied my
hands"
zEg
During a confirma ton tour IN the Do
,ese of Peterborough, the late Bishop Of
London put W one evening at an old
manor house. and slept in room sup
posed to be haunted. Next morning at
breakfast the bishop was asked whether
ne had seen the ghost. Yes he re- /
llied with great solemnity, "but I have
aid the spirit; IL will never trouble you
gain Being further questioned upon /
he subject the bishop said; The ghost /
instantly vanished when I asked for a |
subscription toward the restoration Of I
Peterborough Cathedral.
q q x z
One, when Benjamin Franklin was 4
travelling in cold weather. and saw 10 4
'acant place at the tavern IRE where he t
ould warm himself. the genius whose I
tatue adorns Printing House Square i
ried out the order, Half peck o. /
ysters in the shell for my horseP Up /
n this all the fireplace crowd rushed
ut TO see a horse eat oysters. Very I
DON the hcstler returned and said
Why. sir, your horse won't eat.> h
ysters." Wont he2" said Franklin
ow comfortably seated by the freside
Well then. bring them In and cook
hem. and III eat them myself"
x
A Scotchman went TO London for n
oliday. Walking along one OF the
treets. he noticed a bald-headee chemist
landing at his shop door. and inquired
be had any hair restorer.
Yes. sir" said the chemist "step IN
de- please. There's an article I can
Testimonials from grea
len VINO have used f. II makes the
air grow IN twenty-four hours"
"Aweel." said the Scot 'ye can gle
lie top o. yer head a rub WI n. ard
Il look back the morn and see II yero
lin the truth"
lelf and kicked the errand-boy for
ughing.
ER gs
The vito Of ~ell-known and very
)puiar member Of the house % repre- 2
natives was telling a story on him the
her day. which WAS much appreciated
The gentleman came IN rather late last
ght after a cornwall time lie was 2
red and sleepy, and scarcely struck the ]
d before he vas IN a profound stun 3
r. Toward morning the good wife be-
me alarmed by unusual noises. and i'm a
sdiately visions q plumber and viel nee q
sturbed her Imagination She shook her q
ouse with vigor and cried. Jim wake
3: wake up He gave SD extra saor, 7
a suore. and turned over. Size shock 4
n again, screaming; Jim you must d
. Up; there are thieves iu tac house,.
ir0uslng himself for a moment. he ,
ID. ooh, no, my dear. there ara ~ =
.eves n the house; they ere aii ia the =
nate"
sg ss
As 70 The tariff question. lincoln said q.
IT rominds me u a feiIow who came Z.
% a grocery store and called Tor =
ayane's worth of crackers- After ait- -
3 awhile. be said; I don't want
.se cracker; take them. ard Tfve ne -
ylass q cider. Here. HiiI' called cur { q
clerk Later. Pay me Tor your ci1er.'
WAY. said BiIl, gave ycB The -
.ckers tor t. wei. then, pay nae for
crackers.' -
Bat I hAn't had any, resDoa8es ~
l. ~
.Thst's So sait the clerk ~
sEeii clear out. II seems - ne that
ave lost a p'cayune sor1enow. hut n
% make q out ezacilg 60
s.. said Lincoln. 20 fss wen fhe 81
-. somebody gets the rfcaYune. tat q.
ou'f exactly Underatar6 how ~
rs
seft answer hss nos only re srset 70
furninR away wrath; e NAY serve q
nEe an injury. Fears aga Rer - S.
- was making = Fislf 81 noffrr. SRI -
snaed a ti-weekfT e1nfsrence NJ u tai
~ Han 5ust - fsat tsna - v.e b.