The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-08-16

Hello: he said.
te %Hello; responded 21 voice through the
Yes. What do you want?'
Mr. Means, this is Deputy Sheriff
Jones. We've caught that runaway re-
celver. Is there anything you'd like to
hayc: me- do personally in the matter?''
Yes roared Mr.. Means Hang I'D
the receiver!
~ And he was not disturbed again.
Youths Companion.
do You see that prosperous looking
fellow over there?"
eyes,
"Wtjl for twenty years that chan has
taken MS living out of the very mouths
of other people,"
'Hows that?''
Hes dentist" New York Times.
Not long before his death Henry ".
Paine. one Of the most brilliant Amer.
can lawyers OF his generation. became in
terested, as matter of charity. in z
case IN which lad Of some fifteen years
was charged with arson. Paine defended
the boy and offered conclusive evidence
that he was, to all practical purposes. an
idiot and totally irresponsible. Neverthe.
less the jury. after listening to charge
from the court which was virtually an
order for acqu;ttal, brought in verdict
| of guilty.
The presiding judge then addressed
Paine:
You will move for new trial, l pro-
sumo. Mr.. Painc?'
Paine rose with an air that was pain
fn in it's solemnity.
Il thank your honor for your sugges-
| tion.'' he said hut am oppressed with
the eravcst doubts as to whether l have
| the right to move for a new trial in this
case. Your honor. I have already asked
for and have received for my idiot client
! the most precious heritage OF our English
and American common lava trial by !,
| jury of his peers"
The judge then ordered the verdict to
| be set aside.
| Just watch me-" said the grasshopper.
Preparing for flight:
II feel SO vigorous today,
I'll jump clear out of sight,
| l watched him he rose in air,
He kept his word, no doubt.
| For down he came into stream
| Where lived a hungry trout
1t is said that when President Polk
visited Boston he was impressiyely re-
| ceived at Faneuii Hall market. The
| clerk walked in front Of him down the
length Of the market, announcing in loud
tones: Make way. gentlemen, for the
President of the United States. The
President Of the United States! Fellow
citizens, make room"' The chief had
stepped into one of the stalls to look at
some game. when Mr.. Rhodes turned
round suddenly. and. finding himself
alone: suddenly changed his tone. and
exclaimed: My gracious, where has
that darned idiot got to-"
"Col. Hihall is fraud. He acts like
(rkl1lf ln11
flesh, but he is no Kentuckian" whats
the colonel been doing to make you think
that?' He took a drink of bourbon
with mo today and made wry face
indianapolis News.
ED Dabney's wife has skipped out
again. says the Wellington. Kas.. Mall
and this time it is believed the breach
is irreparable. She left notice that she
a piano. Once before she left him and
refused to come hack until he bought
her Il horse and buggy. Then she de-
serted him until he bought her set of
dining room chairs. But now the worm
has turned, and Dabney will refuse to
purchase the piano.
.,' "She els is pretty:' said the young woman.
"IeS,' answered Miss Cayenne. Il
can't help wondering how she got back
from Europe without having duty COL
iected on her as 4 work of art.''-Wash
| ingtCn Star.
"Behead the brass band." shouted the
The court favorite looked questioning
ly at the Empress Dowager.
"Certainly." said she. IF it Will
amnse him. behead the entire band.''
But what reason shall give:''
,,,; simply eau attention to its lack of
hidden City it PLAYED The Old Home
Amt What 1t Used to Be- w ash;n:-
ton Star.
To 4 silver wedding celebration re-
Gently pious old lady sent as present
pair of tatirons, rolling-pin and a
motto worked on cardboard. reading:
Flight on!'-Tit-Bits.
"Nc.' said the impecunious one. you
can't believe all that you see in the
newspapers
othe Ar1 ny; you ,xE prepared to specify:' the
Il am. l saw statement in the fnan-
cial columns that. money was easy. but
when | tried to negotiate loan l found
that the reverse was true
"Iou misunderstood the paragraph It
didn't say that people were easy
Judge.
-:O:-
doctor. don't you think that raw ov-
sters are healthv:''
Yes: never knew one to complain.
Tit-Bits.
No use ter worry bout hot weather.
Eff you'll des think err what's comm in
de hereafter you'll be sho' to keep cool
whilst you kin.
Thank de Lawd fer one thing: Ell de
white man hez good time in winter, de
niger shouts halleluia in de hot SUI!
Many man gifts hotter growlin' over
de weather dan he would be eff he'd des
go long en- let de weather take keer or
itse'f-Atlanta Constitution.
Hope is mighty big deceiver, but de
worr is followin' after him lax a race
boss on Observation-Disclosures Constitu-