Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-01-26
WHEN A MAN COMES BACK

vvtt6tN - WAN SOVu6S OESs\
"Any man who imagines that he Is an IN
dispensabls factor In the community in
which he has passed the major number OF
his years. can find out quite differently by
departing thereform for q couple Of years
and then returning to said community for
little VISIT" remarked q former Washing
tonian, who drifted into the capital from
New York last week. Now, when I got
in, after a couple Of years absence over
in the big burg. I didn't expect to find
that Gen. Harries had turned out the Dis
trtct National Guard and all Of the bands
thereof to meet me at the station: didn't
have it figured out that the Commissioners
Of the District would burst through the
station gates for the purpose Of handing me
the freedom of the city in a gilt box;
hadn't calculated that Major Sylvester
would wait at the depot with a Gordon of
nus pest cops for the purpose of holding
back the tempestuous mobs liable to greet
me When | stepped off the train. / did ex-
pect. and had a right to expect, that the
IolkS L used to know here in Washington
they met me, that had been away! They
didn't, though; you'd have thought, from
t In way they greeted me. that instead of
two years. I'd only been putting In a day
or SO down in Alexandria.
First chap met that knew fairly we'll
"oS q iCilOW With whom used to Dlay
billiards quite often. l swept down upon
him on the avenue the day after got in
why, hello, there said he, I haven't
seen you with cue in your hand for some
tlme-bl1eVe it's almost been three weeks
hasn't 1t! Been down with the grip?
Il had to look at this chap with a mourn
1ui gaze for three minutes before 1 could
get together sufficiently to tell him that I
hadn't set foot in Washington before for
tWenty-four months. Then he told me to
stop my kidding, and l had hard time
truth.
Il went into the shop Of the toba cconist
from whom used to buy my cigars
How are YOU said the tobacconist,
as he reached for the box from which I
used to select my smokes. Haven't clapp-
ed an eye on you for month or so-haven't
given me the shake, have you? Die your
doctor make you give up smoking?
Say said l, a little nettled by this
time, stop that high-noon dreaming. Wake
up u We mean to look me in the eye and
tell me that you haven't missed me for
the last two years, when l used to come in
mere two or three times a day and talk
base ball and politics and civil service and
| the horrors of the demon rum, and things
like that with you for half an hour at
clip?
:" My boy said this idiotic tobacconist,
sollcltousiy, go home and take sleep for
IT, GU need it. l can see that you're in
bad way. l thought you We're going to be
good from the way you talked to me a
month or SO ago. Been away two years,
hey! ON, well, you stop on your way home
and get good dose of bromides, and after
you wake up you'll feel better
Say, wouldn't that jolt you off a hand
car? 1 could only give him a weary gaze
and walk out. and the first person 1 met
was a nice girl whom l used to stake to
theater tickets and American beauties at
81 the one and pink-ribboned boxes of bon
bons and SO on She looked quite animated
when she saw me.
Umptara hop last week. and you used to
always attend that. Not getting too staid
and dfgnifed and-er-stout to dance, are
you? and she looked at me roguishly.
wouldn't that entitle you to a rebate?
Miss Pinkwaist.' said 1, in a sepulchral
tone, can it be possible that you have
habitually regarded me as such a mere,
intinitesimal freckle on the huge face of
time that you haven't been aware of my
absence from Washington for a little mat
ter of twenty-four months or so?'
Mercy us goodness gracious sakes
alive well did you ever the man is dream
ing that nasty old grip I suppose! the
lovely young creature calculated without
taking punctuating breath, and she look
ed at me in an alarmed sort of way, as
if she feared that l had suddenly gone
mad.
Il solemnly protested that I had spoken
the truth, but when she passed on she was
| still looking at me curiously, as II she were
perfectly convinced that l had been sio-
| right home and told her mother that she'd
| met man whose mind was wandering as
| he walked the streets and who ought by
| rights to be in straightJacket In the fool
! ish house over by the Eastern branch.
"rhan I went into the drug store of
| fellow with whom 1 used to play Skinny
| and marbles, and with whom 1 used to al
ways come into contact at least once Gay
during my residence in Washington.
" 'Howdy.' said he. reaching out his paw
| Say, how'd je like that piece of French
| soap that you got here couple of weeks
! ago? Makes a bully lather, doesn't ft?'
| "'Charley,' said l to him, I always was
| afraid that you'd succumb to the needle
| habit and become hop flend II you got
| hold of a drug store Of your own, and now
| know that my fears were well grounded.
| Why, you miserable pinhead of an imbecile
don't you know that 1 haven't been In
| Washington for two years?
| ''He looked at me indulgently.
| "'Say,' he said to me after quite a pause,
| 1T always was funny about you, how you
| could get jagged and yet walk around with
| G. heavy still on and not give yourself away
unless you opened your trap. Here.
| know what you want-a little Valerian to
| quiet your nerves. You didn't go to bed
last night, that's all that ails you. You
| want to
But 1 fled into the dolorous outdoors be-
| fore he had a chance to hurl soothing inter-
| nal lotions into me.
Wherefore I again remark that the man
| who fondly thinks that he's figure in the
| picture that can't De spared mas only 10
| eliminate himself for about half an Olym-
| piad and then return"
Precedent for Unwilling Brides.
| From the London Telegraph.
| Many marriages, writes a Vienna corre-
| spondent, have been Of short duration, but
| even the shortest union generally lasts
! longer than half an hour. A few days ago
| marriage solemnized on September so
| last, at ST. Johns Church in Vienna, was
declared null and void by the civil court
| here. While the priest was addressing the
couple in the church. the bride tainted. AS
| both she and the bridegroom were kneeling
| this was not remarked, but the priest and
| the wedding guests noticed that the lady
did not answer Eyes" to the priests Ques-