Evening journal., 1901-08-08

rs Mickey in condition."
Hes as fine as silk. All, Mickeys a
great boy He's got something up his
sleeve thatl astonish all thin other
buffers"
What is it, Mister Doolan?"
ITS his ar-r-rm.'
Replies are not always answers.
The pennant OF the Oregon, which is
again at San Francisco. after many
months OF hard service, is to be given
To the state whose name she bears.
Charity and bookbinders cover a
multitude of faults.
Japan has no music, and the first
melodies many OF the race ever heard,
aside from that of the birds, were
hymns sung by Christian missionaries.
Notwithstanding this, many Japanese
have OF late years become expert must
clans and charming yocalists
"oh. Harry do wish we were
rich"
Rich? Harriet. If we were rich we
might at this very moment be going
off somewhere in a hot. stuny sleeping
car. instead of sitting here in this nice,
airy yard
Did Mrs. suddenriche make a good
selection in pictures for her new
house?"
Yes. indeed She has cool pictures
for hot days and warm pictures for
cold days"
Goodness What do you mean?"
why. her Summer pictures are all
snow scenes and her Winter land
scapes confagrations."
Teeth are like verbs-regular, irreg-
ular, and defective.
The average annual income Of pro-
fessiOnal criminals is estimated at
about 81 500. This means that the COM
munity pays them a yearly salary OF
! S400 100000 After this is spent for
their maintenance we pay annually
S200,O00,0O0 for their detection, convic-
tiOn and support, under national, State,
county and city auspices.
Deliberate long before doing what
Il is impossible to undo.
did you ever see the sea serpentY'
mo, sir: / never did. l quit when
began to see anacondas."
At the end of the present year the
nfffna ~ I'm Wnrlr ill
be abolished, and the title councilman
will cease to be an official designation
New York had for many years common
councilmen made up of aldermen anc
assistant aldermen.
Most men get married before they
are old enough to know better.
Playrite-In my new comedy we will
have a practical pump and a practical
sawmil and a practical piledriver.
Asht-Why don't you try to get III
few practica. jokes?
Tell boy to do as he pleases and h'
( will do it without a murmur.
Mrs Noozy--I think it's the mos
ridiculous thing to call that man in tn
bank a teller"
Mrs Chumm-Why2
/, Mrs. NoOzy-Because they simpl
won't tell at ALL asked one to-da
how much my husband had on depOsi
there, and he just laughed. -Philadcl
phia Press.
: Probably the man whose wife own
a pug dog has the sympathy OF tn
dog.
A Minneapolis justice Of the peaC
has fined himself for selling bakin
powder without the proper label. Ths
magistrate must be absolutely pure
S Minneapolis Times.
e If a husband and wife are unable
. go away for the Simmer they can sta,
r quarrel at home and have a littl
] outing.
k Urban-Why. old man. those chicl
s ems OF yours are regular game cock
b What makes them such fighters?
y Suburban-I'm sure / don't kno'
; unless it comes from feeding the
l. scraps.
I A financial journal publishes rul
= for discovering counterfeit bank note
;, What the average man wants is a fe
!, simple rules for discovering the ge
u uine article.
y Dolly-Then you and Kitty are n
1, friends any more?
! Polly-No; but she still tells me I
the compliments she gets.-Chica
Record-HeTald.
There is one redeeming feature abe
folding bed even the most timid
male doesn't have to look under it
fore retiring
Young widows, like industrious 81
deners. are anxious to get rid of tn
weeds
!" The Weather and the Almanac.
rrh, -,,tHorn TfatrfrhQnpp