Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-01-12


creeping along with the slowness Of the
leisurely labor on medieval cathedrals.
In view Of all Of which II seems not I'm
likely that the thirty millions of folks who
inhabit this neghborhood when the twenty
nrst century opens up will either have to
have flying facilities provided for them or
else have their work brought to them. The
latter arrangement oughtn't to be so I'M
comfortable at that
Swearing on Taxes.
That annual municipal farce participated
In by New York men OF wealth known as
the swearing OF of taxes" begins on Mon
day next, and will continue daily, except
Sundays. until May 1. Even were there a
sizabie admission charged to see this show
| IL would be worth the money. II Is quite
screechingiy funny. The pompous paunch-
Gus citizen who is perfectly well known to
possess. say, $4,000, 900 or s16 600 600 I'm per.
sonalty walks into the office of the tax
commissioners. wearing q broad grin as
OFTEN as not In anticipatory enjoyment no
uoubt, OF the humor of his part in the
burlesque that he is about to go through
After the usual little prelminaries known
10 pugilistic science as ''sparring for wind"
he holds up his right hand and solemnly-
swears before high heaven and all mankind
that the extent of his personal possessions
amounts to. say. $4,000. Then the tax
commissioners grin, and the stenographers
ana clerks IN the tax commissioners office
grin, and the huge cop who acts as mes
senger at the door grins and the million
aire fares forth grinning through cloud
OF perfecto smoke mo doubt feeling per-
iectly good and easy with himself as he
sits In state in his pew In a 9Th avenue
church on the following Sunday, while the
clerks and stenographers and messengers
watch his retreating form admirably and
dig each other In the ribs. and wink at
each other, and stick their tongues in their
cheekS. and otherwise manifest their humor-
Gus conviction that of all the good things
that ever enjoyed pedestrian exercise on a
dirt road old Father Knickerbocker is the
coolest thereof. Meantime. the man who
actually owns his 5000 or $4,000 In per-
sonalty walks up to the desk with his little
check and pays the full legal tax on the
same.
What the City Loses.
Only about a month ago the official ap-
praisement Of the personality beaueathed by
a famous deceased millionaire placed the
value thereof at some fifty-ni millions OF
dollars. Yet this millionaire had been pay
ing taxes on only 100000 worth of person
atty for matter of sixteen years
New York newspaper not long ago pub
llshed notwithstanding figures going to
show that this swearing off of personally
farce annually deprives this municipality OF
a revenue of nearly eighty millions OF dol
lars-the average cost Of maintaining the
entire municipal government Of Greater
New York in all of its branches. The New
YORK newspapers make a great howl over
the matter every year. but when the wall
subsidies the books inevitably show that the
men of vast wealth have repeated their lit
tie tax swearing-off act and that they con-
tinue to render to the government about
the same amount Of taxes from year to
year.
Everybody Getting Vaccinated.
Men who can afford to pay cab hire in
getting to and from their places of bust
ness, and many Of them who can't are add
Ing to the prosperity of the Jehus just now
as result. of the smallpox scare. The men
who ride In the cabs have been vaccinated.
and their vaccinations have took" and
consequently they can't endure the agony
or riding In the cars. 1t is estimated that
nearly a million New Workers. have been
Vaccinated since the beginning of the small
pox scare. less than two months ago. The
sight OF men with their arms In sings has
become so common throughout New York
that It attracts no attention other than
grins from those who have recovered from
their vaccination misery, those who have
neglected or declined to submit to vacctna-
ton There are no women with their arms
IN sings to be seen, for the reason that Is
OF course obvious. New York women de-
cline to stand for vaccination on their
arms notwithstanding the fact that med
ical men OF wisdom and experience over
here maintain that leg vaccinations "taka''
much more viciously and painfully. and
that the inflammation and general wretch-
ednesS thereof endure much longer than
vaccinations on the arm. 1t is fact that
been and still are I'll in bed as a result of
their leg vaccinations. while most of the
arm-vaccinated men are able to get about
and attend to their affairs. even IL they are
grabbed and testy and extraordinarily
shrinking In their manner. The women.
however. appear to take their temporary
martyrdom complaisantly.
Martyrs to a Cause.
Rather than disfigure ever so slightly a
plump arm" said a somewhat sarcastic
member OF the medical fraternity the other
day. II believe the average New York wo-
man Of today would willingly consent to be-
vaccinated twice on both lower limbs"
In the meantime that old pro and anti
vaccination discussion RACES in the news
papers and elsewhere. A number OF the
most renowned medical men In New York
unhesitatingly declare their belief that
more persons are killed by vaccination than
ever die OF the smallpox. while the rank
and file of the physicians. as we'll as a ma
jorfty Of the notable ones among them as
firmly declare that the New Yorker who
declines to submit to vaccination during
the progress Of the smallpox epidemic
ought to be declared public enemy and
isolated.
An Expert Opinion.
The writer hereof once knew an old-time
bosuns mate in the United States navy
who had. in the course Of his forty years
service as bluejacket, been vaccinated
more than thirty times. Every time he
passed an examination for re-enIistment
every tlnno ne was SWltche0 from ship to
ship. every time he changed station, 'iy'ry
time gifts frninst tn sick bay. were tn
sawbones is,' as he put 1t, he was vaccf-
mated. 1 once asked him what he thought
of vaccination.
Its all wan t. me-" he replied. ut
does me no harm wan way or tn ithcr.
an shure OF doant moind givin' practice
t thin lads wit tn scrapers. At thot,
Oi'm as like as not t be pushed into Davy
Jones' locker be gittin' me block knocked
off be a beer mallet in tn hands o. an
irate bartender. be gittin' meself run
over be milk cart, glory be. It's all
wan
Which expert opinion is respectfully SUBJ
mtted.
Lackaye q Hum0rist.
Wilton Lackaye, the well-known WASH
ington actor, who Is now giving a highly
finished performance OF Petronius In the
"Quo Vadis' production at the Academy
of Music, has stepped into the shoe leather
of Maurice Barrymore and Nat Goodwin
as a Wit over here.
A party of theatrical men were talking
prize fight at the Lambs Club the other
night.
This English lightweight Jordan is
pretty shifty." said an actor who has spent
the last three years in Great Britain
He's quick enough to dodge q bullet