davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

One of our disciples of Esculapious
commonly called doctors, who does not
believe in advertising. consequently
does little to sustain newspapers, was
giving the publishers the very old
nick, and sarcastically remarked that
papers were run for revenue. What
in the thunder 40 doctors run for any
way Do they run FOR glory? One
good healthy doctors bin would run
this Office six months An editor
works half day fer three dollars
with an investment Of $4,000, a
doctor looks wise and works ten min
utes for 5000 with an investment Of
three cents for eatnip and a pill-box
that cost Sl.37. A doctor goes TO col
lege two or three years, gets diplo-
ma and string Of words the devil
himself cannot pronounce, cultiyates
look OF gravity that he pawns of for
wisdom, gets box OF pills, eayuse,
meat saw and sticks out his single
full-nedged doctor. He will then
doctor you until you die at a stipulat-
ed price per visit, and puts them in
as thick as your pocket book will per-
nit. An editor never gets his educa-
ton finished he learns as long as he
lives; and studies all his life. He eats
bran mash and liver, he takes his pay
in hay and turnips, and keeps the
doctor in town by retaining from
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
seven Year.in BED.

fWill wonders ever cease: inquire
the friends of Mrs. s Pease of Law
renee. Kan They knew she had been
unable To leave her bed ia seven Years
ON account Of kidney and liver trouble
nervous prostration and general de
bilitv but Three bottles Of Electric
Bitters enabled me To walk, she
writes. "aud iu three months ! felt
like uew person. Women suffering
from headache backache. uerYousue -.
.lreulessnes4' melancholy taiutiug aud
dizzy spells will find i priceless
blessing Try it. Satisfaction is guar
auteed only Joc al Benefits drug
store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
Numbering Ifmmx.

Nav said 20 me last week: "0h. Jimmy, :
Il would give me much joy
II you'd be good like jose h Snow;
he is the ioveliest boy"
Well. men Joe. We both strapped, an
BACKED W sneaky's eyes
An hammered him Up 10 beat the band,
An he's most twict my size.
Well, Mrs. Snow, she come an said,
Yours is the worst I've saw
An one thing brought On another. =
See here, now, UP says NAV,
Il don't allow no one 10 say
Mr cAlldreu's lad er Wild
You hin talk about NE. Mrs. Snow, but
Dent talk about NY ehld.'
Wen. Mr- Snow SAID somethiu an Their
Arsrpin me. yau know,
An mae sr.aks up a. says. "lte'll compare
calt5 ~ rttiy with yeur joe
Tie fought tHers ~ an hour e more
T t,t- -rH vent araH,
AL tI.e.zet l.i seea enough 81 utistle9
F. eame aat q plays
Wea. before ] sent tlrae1 around.
Al -#I- TadH vi -.
TIT mfara quito faterst s0 e BID se1
Ne doau Eitl uy priu.iu rrs-=
-lu4l4gaps.i sen
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
CONTRIBUTED
BY A HERALD
SYMPATHIZER
A CHAPTER
ON DOCTORS

printing the truth about him Ii the
editor makes mistake he has to
apologize for Il but ii the doctor
makes the mistake he buries H. If
we make one there is n lawsuit. tall
swearing and smell OF sulphur. but
il the doctor makes one there IS a
funeral, eat flowers End a smell OF
varnish. The doctor can use word
a foot long but If the editor uses it he
has to spell H. Ii the doctor goes TO
see another mans wife he will charge
the man for the visit Ii the editor
calls on another man 5 wife he gets a
charge Of buekshot Any medical
college can make doctor. You can't
make an editor. lie has to be born
one. When the doctor gets drunk it
is a case Of overcome by the heat,
and if he dies Is is heart failure.
When and editor gets drunk it is too
much booze, and if he dies it is ease
Of delirium tremens. The editor
works 70 keep from starving while the
doctor works 70 ward 81 the govt.
The editor helps men to live better.
and the doctor assists them to die
easy. The doctor pulls the sick
mans leg, the editor IS glad il he can
collect his bills at all, Revenue only ?
We are only living for fun and to spite
the doctor
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Il have come" said the old subscrib-
er, Ito complain about Your report Of
my daughters wedding"
What was the matter with it, de-
manded the editor
We'll, her name Is Gratia, but you
printed it Gratis
That's not SO bad She was given
away. wasn't sheF" Philadelphia
Press
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Il understand. remarked the father,
that Jane has rejected that young
Scaddles because he didn't size up To
her ideas Of manly beauty
And She should be ashamed Of her
self" added the mother thoueltlessly.
IF | had looked for a handsome man,
| might have never been married. -.
Philadelphia Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Edward Huss, a well known business
man of Salisbury, Mo, writes: / wish
TO say for the benefit of others that
was sufferer from lumbago and kid
ney trouble. and all the remedies
took gave me no relief. was induced
to try Foley's Kidney Cure. and after
the use of three bottles / am cured .
Hatch Bros and J. I. Bennett
BUY a ring Reduction in price.
A So ring for 81. 1000 patterns to
select from, at Weber Bros
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
catarrh Cannot Be Cured

with local applications as they cannot
reach the seat of the disease Catarrh
is a blood or constitutional disease.
and in order to cure it you must take
internal remedies. Halls Catarrh
Cure IS taken internally, and acts di-
rectly on the blood and mucous sur
faces. Halls Catarrh Cure is not a
quack medicine 1t was prescribed
by one of the best physicians IN this
country for years. and is a regular pre-
scriptiou 1t is composed of the best
tonics known. combined with the best
blood purifiers. acting directly on the
mucous surfaces The perfect com
bination of the two ingredients is what
produces such wonderful results in
curing Catarrh. Send for testimonials
free f J. CHENEY * Co. Props.
Toledo, o.
Sold 81 druggists. price. 7Jc
Rails Family Pills are the best
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

You may as well expect 70 run q
steam engine without water as t. find
an active. energetic man with torpid
liver and you may know thar his liver
is torpid when he does not relish bis
food ri feels duh and Iauguid after
eating. often has heada she and often
dizziness 4 few doses If Chamber
lain stomach and Liver Tablets till
restore Ills liver to its normal tuuc
tions renew his vitality improve bis
digestion ami make him feel like q
new mau Price. - cents, Samples
free at Benefits drug store.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

TWO CAR loads Of new bugg Is
just arrived and viii be on exhibit
tion saturday We now have the
largest and finest assortment ever
shown here. and we extend cordial
invitation 70 every one % call and see
our stock no matter whether you
want 70 buy or not, come any time
and bring your friends.
G.. W. KNAPP ~ SuN.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Will often receive painful cuts.sprains,
or bruises from accidents Bucklen' 5
Arnica Salve will kill the pain and
heal the injury. It's the cyclists
friend. Cures chatting. chapped hands,
sore lips. burns. ulcers and piles. Cure
guaranteed Try it Sold by J. I
Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
Notice.

We, the undersigned dentists Of
Lancaster hereby announce that our
respective offices will be closed each
Wednesday until Oct. LIST, 1901.
j. II. REED,
GEO. c. MARROW,
lltf CHAs S. MOORE.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
Both Drove.

First Boy Your folks amt as rich
as ours. Ny father and mother 30
driving every day.
Second Boy Ny father drives every
day too.
First Boy don't believe it. What
does lie driveg
second Boy Nails london Fun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Call al Bennett S drug store and get
a free sample of Chamberlain Stom-
ach and Liver tablets They are an
elegant phvsic They also improve
the appetite, strengthen the digestion
and regulate the liver and bowels
They are easy to take and pleasant in
effect.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13
II Womb BE n PIeasure Then.

= bNAN az -
Proud Mother = You haven't kissed
the baby.
Bachelor Uncle-Um-er-I1l try to
remember next time. I'll kiss her when
I-er-come back from the continent.
"When viii that be?"
Let me see beut 10 years. STRAY
Stories.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Fond Parent Goodness, How you
look. child, You are soaked.
Frankie Please pa. | fell into the
canal
Fond Parent What! With your new
trousers on?
Frankie didn't have time. pa. to
take 'em off
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Jennie To have "A round beautiful
neck wiggle your head from side TO
side every night take Rocky Mountain
Tea It's a short cut to "a graceful
form Soc Hatch Bros, and J L.
Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

a CARLOAD Of American fence
wire. the best on the market viii ar
rive at Mcdonald : June 10th.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

WANTED: a girl for general
homework in small family. Good
wages and light work Apply at
Herald office
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

DRINK ALPINE. Its a cool and
refreshing drink at Lathrops.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

RING SALE for two weeks at Web
er Bros.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

"Well. what do you want?"
"Oh, nothin. l was just wonderin
how you kept from eatin up all your
stock, OATS all."-New York Evening
Journal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

Sold By druggists. price. 1Jc
Hall Family Pills are the best
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-06-13

If
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
THE EMPTY PEW.


 Dr. Hills, of Plymouth church, has plan for filling his pews on Sunday. It will be remembered that he has late- ly been advocating the lunch counter in order to allure the recreant, thus gain ing access to the heart and the con- , science through the stomach. But he is a man rich in expedient and is in mo- wise committed to any one plan. He told large company of admirers at New Haven Monday night that it is his belief that men remain away from church on Sunday because they have to work too late on Saturday.
 | In England there is no work on Sat- urday afternoons and the benches are we'll filled on Sunday. When our work a-day people shall have succeeded in getting half-hours on Saturday, the church will reap the benefit and the preacher will have the encouragement of speaking to a full auditorium. So says the resourceful pastor of Plymouth church.
 If his New Haven hearers are dis posed to acquiesce in his views it is much to be feared that they will find in him the element of pseudo prophecy The causes why churches are innocent of mole adults on Sunday are much deeper than Dr. Hills imagines. He and his predecessors in certain of the pulpits of the metropolis have had a hand i'll emptying the pews of their meeting houses. They have so far suc- ceeded in preaching away the modieum of faith which remained with their peo- ,,Ia that y7o.x, iyn,1r,, ho,,t y1pnu thay,, to show reason why man should feel himself bound to keep the Sabbath at all.
 What Is the sense of meeting to honor and supplicate Being who is supposed to take little or no cognizance of hu- man affairs and whose providence in no way extends to the details of everyday life? Such Is the condition of mind of most of the non-Catholics in America to-day In England, faith Is still struggling with some hope of triumph. The people have been forced to listen to spiritual leaders who were not them selves devoid of belief in the God whom they preached. Religion has a promi- nent place in the English mind because most of the great preachers of the latter half of the nineteenth century, in the Anglican as well as in the Catholic church. were men of faith and not half- fiedged or full-fedged infidels as are many of our American ministers,
 It is not the ten hour labor law nor the bicycle nor the great Sunday jour- nal which has most to do with depict ing the army of church-goers, but the half-believing and the unhelieving pull piteer who assembles his people once week, not to build up faith in God and His Providence, but to talk and scoff away the very foundations of belief in the supernatural. The present derelic- tion of the Protestant minister Is of his own creating. The means which will set him again in the midst of numer- ous worshipful company of believers is beyond his ken. A man can pull down with fearful ruin, but the Lord must build the city-Catholic Transcript
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
4 AOOD NTAR7.

The good roads movement in Louis- jana has got good start. The build
 ing in New Orleans of sample of road by the National Good Roads Associa- tion has greatly stimulated the move ment for better roads in Louisiana The coming to the city of the good roads train on the Illinois railroad with its machinery and it's workers was chosen as the time for the holding of good roads convention. This was strong in numbers. some two hundred delegates being present from thirty one parishes. and strong also in the character of the men present, the New Orleans papers report. Representative men, leaders of public opinion, gather ed from all over the State, and there was a sprinkling also of earnest visi- tors from Mississippi and Alabama. It was an enthusiastic gathering, and when the delegates saw the good work done by the National Good Roads As- sociation, at little cost and without paving material. proving that improv- cd highways are not beyond the reve- nues of any community, they organized at once the Louisiana Good Roads As sociation, and set in motion machinery to establis,s branches of the organiza- tlon in each parish
 When this country is adequately equipped with railroads. trolley roads and good wagon, bicycle and automo- bile roads # will be greater and more glorious than ever.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09

velopment depends upon the substitu- tion promptly of railroads for porters, If the proposed railroad is not built the whole traffic of the colony will be d. verted to the north by the British Uganda railroad-now nearing comple- ton-or to the south by the waterways of Lake Tanganylka, Lake Nyasa and the River Zambesi. "The government" /" said the chancellor, regards the pro posed railroad as a matter of inexor- able necessity. If its construction is delayed much longer the German har- bors would fall into decay and neglect, while the British trading centers, north and south. would attain prosperity.
 This scheme is warmly opposed by Germans who hold that 1t is absurd to throw away money on railroads in Af- rica when they are more needed in Prussia.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
WrNaED AND 1vlNGIYG RICHEs.

Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which Is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven" So said the wise man. And though many peo- pie all over this country and in some other countries were too busy yesterday and too agitated to pay much attention to the sayings of the wise man they saw his words verified in some of the liveliest fying-away of riches that has been seen lately. Day before yesterday they set their eyes upon that which looked as if it was, and they were quite proud of their skill. Yesterday they set their eyes upon that which was not, and were humble and disturbed by the insistent call of the anxious broker to fill up a part of the vacancy. D
 Of course yesterdays performance in Wall street was inevitable, and the wonder is that it has been so long post poned. It isn't wise to predict what  will happen to-day or o-morrow. No- body really knows. If Death, which loves shining mark, should happen to aim at Brother Morgan and hit him, we suppose the exhibition of flying which riches gave yesterday would be far surpassed. If no accident" hap pens perhaps riches will soon find temporary roasting place whereon to rest awhile before flying some more. It will be noticed that the wise man speaks only of riches flying away. Per- haps he thought it wasn't necessary to speak of riches flying toward people, as they seem to have been doing up to yesterday.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
SIC TRINNIT.

Speaking of riches flying away, our Canadian neighbors have just had a rather striking illustration of what riches can do in the flying-away line. Canada has had a mining fever which ran high. It is about year since prices reached their top and began to descend the scale, and they are now at about the lowest. The drop has been enormous. Twenty-tlree mines which were among the most active in the market in the bright days of the specu- lative fever, with capitalization of $3S,232 900, show a depreciation of $29,- 2S5,600 between the highest and lowest market prices. The highest market value of the stock of these mines was $35, ,190,220, while to-day they could be bought on the present basis of prices for $5,S04,620. It Is figured that, if all the mines into which Canadians have put their money during the past two or three years were taken into considera- tion in the same way, the sum lost would not be far short of s50,000o oOo.
 Sic transit gloria money And few there be who learn.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
CHOKING.

Hewitt--If you want to succeed yol must have confidence in yourself Jew itt--But how can man have confidence in himself if he gets only $S week?-- Harper's Bazaar
 Why did you leave your last placer Master was too sarcastic How was that?" Well, told him I seen snai on the garden path, an he says to me You must have met it. '-Moonshine She--I am so anxious to have these | theatrcals a success If the members are only enthusiastic they will be. He Have no fear. Every man in 1t is to make love to another mans wife. e.-- Life.
 A Record Breaker.-Subbubs See here, you said that house we bought of you was a stones throw from the sta ton. Agent--Well? Subbubs-Well, simply want to know who threw that stone.- Times.
 "Well, Ethel" said the caller, "what are you going to do when you get big like your 1namma?" "Oh," replied Ethel, q suppose I'll have to put my
  face, too o"-Philade1phia Record.
 Mrs. Innocence (finding poker chips in her husbands pockets)-Dear me! isn't George too thoughtful for anything! I told him to buy something to amuse the baby, and here he has brought home those pretty colored disks. --Philadel- phia Record.
 A Lazy Scoffer's Scheme. Martha, you are Christian Science believer?" "Of course, Jonas" Well, Martha, don't clean house-just sit out in the yard, while I'm down town, and give all the rooms absent treatment" Chi cago Record Herald
 Their Favorite Diet.--"The bulls and bears in Wall Street are all carnivorous the Snake Editor. "Indeed?" Yes; they are fond of spring lamb with Unit ed States mint sauce. ."-Pittsburgh ChronicleT Telegraph.
 Twentieth Century Culture-Profes- sor's wife--It is so strange that your father is in trade; he seems to have so much culture.
 Merchants daughter-It is too bad; the professions are so sadly in need of some men of culture.--The Snob.
 First Young Doctor-I don't believe measles are catching.
 Second Young Doctor-Oh, but they are.
 First Young Doctor-Well, why don't they catch? I've only got two cases so far.-Columbus (Ohio) State Journal.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
4 c ERMAN SCHEM Y.

The white mans burden Is resting heavily on Germany in these days. The German government has laid before the Reichstag bill for the construction of an important railroad between Oar es Salaam and Mrogoro, in German East Africa. The line is to be 142k miles long and cost $6,000,000. The govern
 nent guarantees per cent. interest on this amount and gives, besides, strips side of the line The gauge is to be 8 feet inches. After 93 years the road is to become the property of the gov ernment, being turned over to the lat ter by the banking company which undertakes it's construction Profits are to be divided between the company and the government when they exceed 2.4 per cent. of the capital. The line is to be completed in five years. If an extension westward to Lake Tanganyi- ka, or Lake Nyanza, is hereafter au thorized, the company will have a pref erential claim to the concession.
 Chancellor von Buelow argued that the bill was necessary, since private capital would not undertake the rail- road. Its construction was absolutely necessary to the development of Ger  man East Africa. At present that col ony does not pay expenses. and it will never pay unless it is provided with railroad facilities. The economic de-
The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-05-09
OWNERSHIP IN EAGLES.
Respected Among the Pueblo India

Respected Among the Pueblo Indians
 Among the Pueblo Indians of New
 Mexico and Arizona there is property
 right in eagles. Each clan claims own
 ership in several eagle nests, which
 may or may not be near the place where
 the clan lives. When the nests are dis
 tant from the villages where the Indi-
 ans claiming them live 1t has been
 found that the ancestors of these Indi- ans came In former years from, the To- calities where the nests now are, and
 they point to the fact that these nests are theirs as proof that they also, by in- | heritance, own the land round about | them.
 Driven into new locations by raraud- Ing Navajos and Utes, these Pueblo In dians have steadily contracted their occupied territory, but they still visit the old nests, as their forefathers visi- ted them before the white man came to Mexico. Some of the Pueblo Indians, the Zunis, for instance, keep eagles in cages and treat them as domestic fowl, but the most of the tribes procure their eagles by taking the young from the an- cestral nests. These Indians keep tur- keys also, but neither turkeys nor eagles are kept for food. With the feathers of the birds the Indian decorates himself and his prayer sticks" on occasions of religious ceremony. The various tribes respect one anothers property rights in certain nests and the birds which are matched in them, and a heavy punish ment Is provided for an Indian killing an eagle not his own.
 Sometimes the nests are fifty miles from where the tribe lives but investi- gation always shows that the tribe lived once where the nest Is. Genera tons without number the eagle builds his nest in the same spot and rears his young there. So the title of the Pue- bios reaches back into the twilight of American history. Those Pueblo Indi- ans speak of their eagles as they do of their sheep, their dogs or their horses. Though the king of birds may be flying wild half hundred miles from the In- dian's abode, yet it Is the Indians ea- gle.
 When an Indian visits one of his nests to secure bird re does not take all of the young, but leaves some, so that the breed may be perpetuated. Returning home with his eaglet, he strips 1t of its feathers and kills it. The body of the eagle is not thrown on the rubbish heap but Is buried in a special eagle burying ground. The ancient Pueblo Indians used to keep parrots as domestic birds, probably inly for their feathers, which were used in decorations for religious services These parrots they obtained