Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-09-14

No man ever teII II rove Win NOHdh
whom his folks didn't like. He merely
becomes "infatuated" with her.-Boston
Transcript
Guest-"Are the mosquitoes very fierce
around here this summer Farmer
Nav! They'll come and eat out Of
your nd'-Men's Magazine.
aunt Tena IS going to take her gum
shoes when she goes down TO Atlantic City
next Sunday" why, DEAR 'Oh, she
has heard that the Sundays are not so
drv down there now. ''-Phladelphia Rec
ord.
Wrong Diagnosis.-'Read the direk-
shuns. quick, Mandy 1T seq, for
adults-one teaspoon Thunder.
That amt what ais me-what else does
il sayT'-Life.
Greenwood. Ia, reports the champion
Aneakthef. Two hours after being re-
leased from jail he broke into the prison
and stole his photograph from the
rogues' gallery.
A Cool Rcception--"Did You notice?
| have new electric fan in my Of
fee" "Oh. yes; | got wind of il the
minute | opened the door '-Philadel-
phia Evening Bulletin.
Editions and Edtions.-"Twins, ch?'
Yes; boy and girl The boy is second
edition of his father" And the girl?"
well, she's more in the nature OF an
extra, | suppose. Puck.
"Why do You eat that looking glass;
asked the dime museum visitor to the
human ostrich.
"Oh, it's food for reflection" replied
h. pal ~
An Editorial Encountcr.-N uhhs-"He
went into the editors office like a roaring
lion and came out like postage stamp
Bubbs-"How was that?" Nubhs-
Licked. Detroit Free Press.
One of Them-"Ths ancient umhrcl-
Ia" remarked Squildig, belonged TO my
grandfather" ''Ah, one of the shades
of your ancestors" added McSwiIigen.
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Te!egraph
Spoiled His Boast Stout Gent-"Wel.
sir, I'm self-made man. | hogan life
rs a hlrefo0ted boy" Thin Gent
We'll, as far as ] can make out, | wasn't
born with shoes on, either '-MoOnshino
"Why don't you want to take FIecklcs
IN as "A partnerE' "Fleckles was once
engaged To my wife. DO you suppose
want man in my. business, who is
ter.
Building Proposition Cholly-"Why
SO quiet, Miss Grace Grace Qightlyt-
oh | was building castles in the air"
Cholly-"What did You use for corner
stoneT Grace-"A solitaire. Town
Topics.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak- Here's en- ae-
count Of a party travelling 10000 miles
without losing his trunk once
Mr. Crimsonbeak-"Oh l know the
party was an elephant. " onkers
Statesman.
Nothing from my poor husband?"
asked The widow of the medium.
NO. ma am was the reply "IIa
keeps dead silence; not even message
saying that the fire is out"'-Atlanta
Constitution.
He frising to say goodnight)-"Wcn l
really must 90, Miss Caroline. I've en-
joyed myself immensely"
Boston Maid with frigid politcncssl-
Really, I'm glad. I'm sure. have en-
joyed you, too."-Lcslie's Weekly.
Bobby Jones That depends. When
Aunt Sarahs here mamma says | take
after her folks, and when Uncle Silns
Jones is here ma says I'm a regular
Tones; They're both r-r-rich" '-Leslie's
Weekly.
IIooten- What has got into Slough.
ton? This is the fifth time today he has
been in bathing"
Falmouth Yes; the doctor told him
TO take a glass of whisky upon coming
"dt Of the water. Boston Transcript.
Have You sent your regrets. noro-
thyE asked mamma of her little daugh-
ter, who had decided not to go 10 n marty
10 which she had heeu asked"
Il haven't amy to send, mamma" am.
Swcred Dorothy. II don't wat 20 GO
Indianapolis News.
THE SUSSEX FARMERS TOAST.
Here's to the three Rs ana The II.
Bread when were hungry
Beer when we're dry
Bed when we're weary taHdt
Heaven when we die
From the journal of the Lore So
ciety.
See here il You don't treat me fair
won't trade with you any more
What's the matter?'
Why there We're fourteen potatoes in
the last quart you sold me, and there are
only eleven in this. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
'Pufiins answered an advertisement; in
which somebody offered to sell him the
secret for preventing trousers from get
ting frlngeS around the bottom"
What did they tell him?"
TO wear knickerbockers. Boston
Courier
II did not know that you knew my
Wife"
'Oh, yes: very we'll"
Where did YOU mcet?'
Never before; but one Of my servants
lived at your home two months. File
gende Blaetter
His First Golfer Officer O'Brien dust
imported from County Clare)-"Whrre's
yure license| Golfe-"Rut. my dear
SIR, have no license" Officer O'Brien-
Thin yu're under arrest Nez can't ped
die umbrellas in this burg widout a IL
Cense Judge.
The Best Kind of n Day.-Mrs New
lyFiCh--"AiY dear can't Won upt mana IN