West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-01-31

'er's. | guess he's an awful fine
doctor an can cure Teller of ever
thing from the itch to lovesickness.
He's one o. them Ravenscrofts like
we used TO have; a brother of our
oil "Doc" Ravenscroft, Noah Web.
ster, er somethin' like that, his name
wus. l guess Dave got a fox the
same day.
III bet most o. the women folks
wont like him becauz he's married.
Its no use to try to git single
"doc" in Brandonville. Ef one does
risk it awhile he take pain to cir
cleate it afore he gifts here that he's
engaged an. goin' to be married
soon. Il Gosh, / don't blame 'em.
either. They's SO ALFRED many OF
maids an widders here that its jes'
all an OF bachelor like me can do to
keep out O. Their clutches.
The Farmers Institoot met in our
school house las Saturday. These
gatherin's together an tradin' expe.
riences is a tarnation good thing eff
the farmers ID only all take holt.
There wuzn't so powerful many here
a Saturday, but them as wuz here
meant bizness. Charley Frankhouser
wuz the boss o. this institoot, an he
jes' more'n made 'em foot. One
Teller AT l liked got up an told 'em
to make good fence. He said eff
you have good fences you'll have
good neighbors, an / reckon he jes'
about teched the spot. You try it
when corn plantin' comes. Plant
some fine corn in field 'at's got an
oil tumbledown fence, an eff your
neighbours COW gifts in an makes wal
on it jes' when its at its purtiest, I'll
bet the smokes you'll blame it all on
your neighbor an think he's the
worst man in the universe, an you'll
say words you don't find in your
Sunday School lesson while you're a
drivin' that COW out. Fix up your
fences an keep your own beasts at
home an you'll find your neighbours
character improves mighty fast.
Another Teller wanted the roads
stoned. dunno what the roads has
been a doin' to him, that he's got
sech a spite at 'em fur. Lord,
think some O. the roads s got
plenty o. stones in 'em now.
The preacher of the Methodis's
says he's a going to have a con-
tracted meetin' here in few weeks.
He wants everybody to think lots
about 1t an pray lots and git good
an ready to fight Satan. Pm in fer
the fight, you bet. l owe the OF
Teller fer a couple shabby tricks he
done me lately. First one was bout
a week ago. went to see my gal
an take her slayin'. When she went
up stairs to primp up she SEE, 'Jos-
eph, don't be tempted to read that
letter on the table while Pm gone,
an she pinted to letter stickin' out
from under some books on the CEN
ter table an skooted. That letter
jes' about druv me crazy fer a min
ute, fer | knowed lots o. the fellers
wanted to STAN in my boots, but
SEE to myself, "I'll trust my little
gal an not read the letter" or
Satan peeked in, an winkin' at me,
whispered, "You better read it.
They's things in it you orter know.
Its from Hank Hopkins" | parleyed
awhile with him till | got my dander
up, an then | SEE in voice like
thunder, "Get thee behind me, Sa-
tan !" 1 Jing IF he didn't git
behind me I'm buzzard. An, sir,
fore I'd time to ketch my breath
he'd give me sech a push as sent me
clean to the table at one step an
knocked the books off the letter. |
seen it wuz Hanks handwrite an /
couldn't control myself but / read
it. 'Twant nothin' but note askin'
to borry her Dream Book awhile. I
laid everything back an sot down
feelin' real good, but when Mandy
came in first thing she noticed was
somethin' wrong o. them books.
Joseph she said, "you must a
yielded to temptation, fer left Sam
Jones's Sermons on top of it an
now Pilgrims Progress is on it. -
She owned, then, that it had been a
trap set purpose to see if / loved
her well enough to be little jealous.
This orter made me feel all right,
but felt mad at the oil boy fer
maxim me git caught in a sneakin'
trick. T'other mean trick he played
me wuz Friday I'd made an en-
gagement to meet a man at the tav
ern at half a past eight. l was in
bed an mortal sleepy when the
clock struck seven, but / says, al
must git up, now" In pops the
meddlesome OF Jay an SAYS. o1f