The Iola register., 1901-03-08
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

in 'like perfume sprinkled dream"
If at first you don't succeed, says
the Peabody News, don't try again
but become a successful howler.
Mr.. Bull is said to be the leading
dairyman of Hodgeman county, but
this is no sign that he gives milk; he
sells it.
The Herington Times says that if
easterners had Kansas soil back there
they would sell it to farmers for
fertilizer.
Cotfeyville feels sure that Miss
Spring is gathering up her apron pre-
paratory to shaking Mr.. Winter out
of her lap.
One of the Abilene churches held
sort of rummage sale, an old maids
auction, and the top of the market was
81. 90 for one maid.
Miss Duzzan, a prosperous milliner
of Parsons, will doubtless never take
a man into the family because of the
unluckiness of Number 13.
If Mrs. Nation should drop into
Leavenworth and put that jointist who
bears the name of Jesus Mella out of
| y
kick.
Ft. Scott thinks that the new Mis-
souri, law restraining magnetic healer
and Christian Scientists may result in
her getting the Weltmer Institute away
from Nevada.
The Republicans of Holton an
nounce that they will hold no caucus
this year but will endorse the ticket
put up at the prayer meeting at the
Methodist church.
The Madison News, speaking of
typographical errors, tells of the
preacher whose text BE ye therefore
steadfast." duly appeared "Be We
there for breakfast ~
Two burglaries at Eureka, one at
the post office and the other in n meat
market, netted 81 cents. Things like
this tend to stop burglary and thus
make the world better.
A respondent Wichita woman at
tempted suicide by eating the heads
off lot of matches. Fortunately she
became unconscious. failed TO scratch
herself and may be saved.
a western Kansas paper says that
| IL ophAhNhNu may bt lOullu
this epitaph: "Here lies my wife.
Poor Mary: let her lie. She finds re-
pose at last, and so do /. -
An Emporia man is trying to have
another man arrested for heaping
Goals on his head, The coal was
thrown from third story window
and cut cash in his Uranium.
The Newton Kansan rings in new
argument to dissuade Colorado from
using up all the Arkansas river water.
1t notes that Colorado is not prohi-
bition state, while Kansas is now very
much so.
The editor of the Hope Dispatch
offers to bet an oyster supper that
Charlie Harger faxed dispatch about
Hope to the K. G. papers. 1t is a
question with Charlie of being in or
outside the soup.
And now there is a rumpus as to
who owned the first Kansas automo-
bile. The Plat Republican, the
Hutchinson News and the Arkansas
City Traveller all claim it, and surely
all these editors are honorable gents.
A good old Populist of Salina who
recently returned from France does
not now think this country nearly so
bad as formerly. He found lot of
his old neighbors working for twenty
five cents day, and says he prefers
Kansas.
The Manchester News figures it that
the lay of a helpful hen if piled on end
would reach twice as high above the
earth as is the moon eachyear. What
shame the II. III. don't have her lays
printed and thus help out the printer
There was a little Misunderstanding
between the Haskell Indians and the
boys of Tonganoxie. The Indians
wrote for ball game and the Ton
ganoXie boys accepted. IL was found
later that the Indians meant base ball
and the others snow ball.
A freight car recently was delivered
at Holton and on being opened hen
with thirteen chicks we're found in
side. The car was from New Orleans
and the hen had stolen her nest in it
and had brought off her brood ex-
actly on schedule time.
There is wise man in Winfield who
has just sued his wife for divorce be-
cause she insists on going to church.
The wisdom consists in his remaining
chief of the local fire department for
he may need the knowledge he is now
acquiring in fighting fire some sweet
day.
A bad man at Cherryvale took a
Winchester, defied the authorities,
knocked down his wife, shot at
policeman, burned some of his wife's
furniture in the yard and was only
fined Sl8. 1t costs more TO shoot one
crap" there than to kill the whole |
police force.
An Ottawa man has signed up with
a circus to ride in the lions cage dur
ing street parades this summer for
$50 week. The company insists that
he find himself" however, as past
experience has taught them that it is
sometimes mighty hard to find man
after entering cage.
A Good Cough Medicine for Children.