Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1901-08-22
MELINDA's
IA WEDDING.
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When Melindy Virgins got engaged
to Pelig jerks, her ma wus just tickled
to death Beaus was scase down to
Punkinyille, fur none of the young men
would stay arter they wus growed up.
Besides, Pelig is real forehanded and
quite catch.
His ma was sot ag'in his marryin at
all, and Melindy she wouldn't never
hev caught him eff she hadn't took airly
mornin walks bout the time he went
over to his place of business and met
him as eff by accident.
l am told that he proposed by Tag
gart's barn and wus excepted in front
of the shoemaker's and gave Melindy
her engagement ring jest this side Of
the blacksmith's.
Well, Mrs. Virgins she wus real sot
up about it, and she said that Melindy
should be dressed up as much as any
bride there ever had been in Punkin-
vile, eff not leetle better. But Mr..
Virgins, Melindy's pa, he come of a
close family, and he wus near himself
'twus his mater to be--and when Melin-
dy's ma asked him fur money to shop
fur the things he jest buttoned up his
pockets and said, NAV" He oilers
PERI ced no that way when he wus
sot. -.aw." sez he, II amt toiled and
moiled forty odd year fur to let my
money be spent like water. You kin
make list out of what is wanted, and
I'll get it."
Well, when he spoke up like that Mrs.
Virgins she knew 'twusn't no good
talkin, so she said, "P'r'aps you air
right, pa" and she wrote down some
things and kinder winked acrost to Me-
Indy, who wus beginning to cry at the
idea of her pa, that didn't know caliker
from blankets, a-choosin her weddin
clothes.
The help saw all that and heered
what wus said and naturally told folks.
Well, that AFTERNOON Mr.. Virgins
went to town to sell his potatoes and
got the money and come down on the
boat as usual.
The boat landln is in quite a lonesome
place, and he went home by sort of
side path anyways, and just about dusk
the Browns heard a howlin in the pic
mic woods and, goin to see what it wus.
there wus old Virgins tied to tree.
He told 'em he'd been beset by rob-
bers and that they WIS so fierce and
furious he'd been obliged to give 'em
every cent he had. He described 'em
as most. outlandish critters. He said
their hair wus like cotton wool and
their faces black. Their hats wus tied
on with big handkerchiefs, and they
wus queer and slopy in the small of
their backs. Their hands and feet wus
sort of small and skinny lookin, and
they had blue overalls and linen busters
on. He said 'twusn't their strength that
overcome him, but their ben so spooky
and supernaturallike. And one of 'em
said in a holler voice, Little you know
who we be-" and the other: "We're TAX
in your money because you don't per-
vide as you should fur solemn occa-
sions. Beware in futurev'
When he got home, he cried and said
he wished he'd Civ Mrs. Virgins the
money for Melindy's things, but she
said it happened fortunate that her sis
ter, Melindy's aunt, had sent her a
present fur her weddin.
The help now, she don't think them
robbers wus supernatural, and she sez
if ever Mr.. Virgins finds out the truth
she dunno what will happen to Mrs.
Virgins. l kinder think myself that
the robbers wus Mrs. Wiggins and
Melindy dressed up In some old clothes,
with cotton batting wigs. and don't
blame 'em.
Well, Melindy had her clothes after
all, but before they wus finished Mr..
Virgins he'd got over his skeer and
got as mean as ever again, and he
wouldn't give his unfortunate wife moth
in extry for the supper. She borried
The Tide of Fashion from the Rabbits
and found out that she'd orter hev
chicken salad.
But Mr.. Virgins, he said he wus
sellin his chickens, not deyourin of 'em
hum, and suppose what she had done
before kinder weakened poor Mrs. Wig
gins conscience, for, seein her own
coops wus locked up, the poor soul went
around to the neighbors and stole one
chicken apiece from each of u.s. 1t wus
kinder just to do it that way when she
| might have took 'em all from one of us,
| and those of US that caught her at it
| made up our minds not to say nuthin,
but jest to pray fur her, and we'd sent
over word that eff there wus anythin
we could do to call on us. And per-
haps she felt we'd be willin to spare
the chickens, but wus proud about ask
| ing fur 'em.
Well, she got the things together
somehow, and she cooked the chickens
and made the salad and borried chany
Of most of us and got up real fust