davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
TIMING YOUR TRAIN.
Ways In Which to Learn How Fast
You Are Travelling.


You Are Travelling.
"There has been some picturesque
fiction written about the ease with
which railroad men and drummers are
supposed to tick off the miles as the
train speeds along from things they
can see from the car windows" said a
railroad conductor to reporter.
"There is only one strictly accurate
way, and that is to seat yourself on the
side of the train from which may be
observed the white mile posts that line
the road and hold your watch on them.
If you have a split second watch, it
will prove interesting to note that
while you made one mile in 60 seconds
the next was covered in 50 and the
third in 20 seconds, and so on, as the
speed of the train increases or slack
ems. You may also follow around the
little second hand ON an ordinary
watch. 1t kills time.
"Some pretend to say that they can
tell the speed of the train by counting
the telegraph poles. If there were an
exact number of telegraph poles to ev-
cry mile, this might be done by little
figuring, but there is a difference. The
number of telegraph poles to a mile
vary from 33 to 40, depending upon the
straight stretches and the curves in the
track, the latter having more poles
than the former. So. you see, it is not
as easy as the drummer would have
the other passengers believe.
''Jf the poles are planted 80 to the
mile, they are 160 feet apart, and every
II passed represents a third of a mile.
If placed 40 to mile, they are 132 feet
apart, and every 20 represents half a
mile.
"These are easy figures to remember,
and by applying them on journey a
passenger may obtain an idea more or
less accurate of the speed of the train.
Another way is to attempt to count
the clicks of the wheels of the truck of
your car as they pass over the rails
where joined The rails of the roads as
placed today are too evenly Joined to
| arrive at an exact determination by
this method, because if you miss two or
three joints your calculations are
| thrown out as to accuracy.
However, there are railroad men
| who cannot tell you the number of rails
to the mile of their own roads. and
rails vary in length, the average being
30 feet, some 33 feet and some 60 feet.
At 80 feet there are 17G rails to the
mile. and if you can count 176 consecu-
tive clinks as your train flies along you
may determine its speed and not other
wise. "-Washington Star.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Dense.

~ say, Scribbler." said Sappy, chow
on earth do you think up all these
characters you wife about|
"Oh, take them from real life" re-
piled Scribbler. but they never sus-
pect. Take, for instance, the character
of Woodby Britten, who is always say
ing 'dooced' this and 'dooced that.
Now, that's a fellow | know very well,
but he doesn't know I'm using him."
"Oh. come now, say! How dooced
clevah of you. Dooced stupid of him,
thought - Catholic Standard and
Times.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
A Humble Apology.

eve feel that an apology is due" ex.
plains the editor of the Spiketown Biz
card. Ito the estimable young woman
who teaches at the scheoihouse in Dis.
trict No. 3. Through the wretched
blunder of a worthless tramp printer
whom we trusted with the setting W
of an item just as we were closing the
forms for our last weeks edition we
were made to say that Miss Ruby Nc
Council, the handsome and popular
teacher in Riggs nCighborhood, is the
proud poSsessor of an elegant new
black beard We wrote it black
board "-Chicago Tribune.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
GOT A SENATOR'S HAT.
Actor Crane Appropriated the Head
gear of n kansas Statesman.

Actor Crane Appropriated the Hend-
gear of kansas Statesman.
Among the stories that are retailed
in the cloakroom of the senate when
that body is in session at Washington
is one of how William H. Crane, the
actor, put the finishing touches upon
his great character study, "The Sen
ator."
"As you we'll know" said one of the
group, Crane took his character al
most directly from Senator Plumb of
Kansas. Crane had just started out
with The Senator and had opened in
Washington. We had all seen the per-
Torrance and liked it Immensely. But
| thought | saw one defect. Crane
wore high silk hat, which was not at
all, according to my thinking, in keep
ing with the imitation of Plumb, who
always wore the characteristic broad
brimmed hat of the southerner. One
evening when Crane, ingalls,, Plumb
and myself happened to be dining to-
gether | remarked to Crane about the
matter of the high hat.
"'You really ought not to wear it,
for it is not in keeping with the char
acter.' said l. You ought to wear one
like Plumb's.'
"Crane did not say much in answer,
but when he arose from the table he
reached out for Plumb's hat and calm
ly put it on. Leaving his own hat for
Plumb, Crane went off down the street
with the old felt affair damned down
over his forehead. The senator was
too surprised to offer objection. The
next night Crane appeared on the
stage with Plumb's hat on his head
and thereafter wore it at every per-
Torrance. Chronicle.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Conee and Biscuits in Cuba.

An Eastern man who has just re-
turned from Cuba was impressed by
two things during his stay in Havana
the strength of the coffee that is served
and the vast quantities of soda biscuits
of American manufacture consumed by
the natives. at took me some time &c
get accustomed to the coffee" he said
"At first used to water it, but grad
ually l fell into the Cubans' way OF
drinking it and learned to like the
strong aromatic flavor. Our own coffee
now tastes weak and insipid to me
The poorer classes of Cubans will make
q meal from coffee and soda biscuits.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
The PerpIexed juror.

A man was being tried in New South
Wales for stealing Il watch. The evil
dence was conflicting. and the jury
made up their minds to retire. but be-
fore they left the hall the judge re-
marked that If there were any points
on which they required information he
would be pleased to assist them. Elev.
en- of the jurymen had left the box,
but the twelfth remained standing.
with his eyes 6xed downward. as if
absorbed in thought.
well. SIR" said the Judge, sis
there any question you would like to
ask me before you retireT'
81 would like to know, my lord
came the reply, ''if you could tell US
whether the prisoner stole the watch.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
A French Novel.

1on-I adore herl
Narcisse-I idoliZe heri
''Ha, then we are rivalsr'
eyes, but still friends!'
"Aye, friends till deathp'
"Let US tell her!
They tell her.
She says:
"Let us der
They buy G centlmes' worth of char
coal.
They ignite it.
They inhale it.
They all die
Vive ramour!-J C Goddard's "a
Leave of Absence"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
IN THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED DAYS
Powdered Wigs Formed an Important
Adjunct to Gentleman's Apparel.

1t is safe to say that the majority
of bald men of today would gladly re-
vive the old, dignified custom if they
could. But, they can do the next best
thing to it; that is, to revive the
growth of the hair nature gave them.
In cases where the hair root or hair
bulb has not been completely de-
stroyed by parasites that infest il,
Newbros Herpicide will do wonders
in the way of stimulating the growth
of lifeless and falling hair. Destroy
the cause, you remove the effect. That
is the successful mission of Herpicide
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
HOW'S THIS.

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re
ward for any case of Catarrh that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure
f. ]. CHENEY & co, Props.
Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned have known F
]. Cheney for the last Is years, and
believe him perfectly honorable in al
business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made
by their firm.
West & TruaX, Wholesale Druggists
Toledo, o.
Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, Whole
sale Druggists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter.
nally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system
Price 75c per bottle. Sold by al
Druggists. Testimonials free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

ills with old With
decline strength and vgorthe machinery the
of
polluted circulation is followed
hard
skin running ulcers the lower limbs and other parts the
healthy blood and Restoration health must come through
the vital and quick healthy action to the circulation
valuable and ecacious of all medicine for old people from all
mild blood
every inherited contracted in life As
purer circulate
and joints grad
blood
especial directions received from physicians
medical
daudSk Diseases nnaled toal WI desie
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA, GA.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
One Still Nicer.

Mrs. Newma-Oh, wish you could
see Mrs. Winkler's baby. It's perfect
ly lovely! Such delicate, sweet little
creature as it is! It's a perfect little
cherub. with the loveliest eyes, the
sweetest little mouth, the cunningest
little nose and eyes of heavenly blue.
1t looks as if it had just dropped from
heaven and every tiny feature had
been fashioned by the angels.
Mr.. Newma-Is it as nice as our
baby?
Mrs. Newma-Mercy! No; not half
as nice.-Pearson's Weekly.
A Mixed Wedding Party.
'"The college roommate of friend of
mine was engaged to a lady in New
York." writes the Rev. D. NJ. Steele in
his article on Some People l Have
Married" In The Ladies' Home Jour-
nal. His people are Congregational
lists, but while at Yale he became a
Unitarian. Her parents are Roman
Catholics, but she was member of the
Ethical Culture society at Carnegie
hall. In compliance with her mothers
wish he asked five different priests to
marry them, but all refused. In despair
he came for me. 1 married them, an
Episcopalian, with the ritual service in
Presbyterian chapel The Roman
Catholic brother of the bride and the
Congregational sister of the groom
were present. This sister acted as one
witness; the other witness was a Jew
ess."
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10


The coast Of Japan, not notwithstanding
It's long shore line and numerous har
bors. offers scant allurement to an in
vading army. There is very little
beach. The bold crags and bluffs over
looking every spot where n modern
war vessel can ride at anchor are pro-
tected by strong Notifications defended
by the most modern guns.
Yeddo bay, the most feasible blight
for invading purposes, needs careful
navigation even by steamers of moder-
ate draft. When torpedoes are planted,
it is simply impregnable, says writer
in Golfers Weekly. When the war
with China broke out, a small steamer
was selected to pilot merchant steam
ers up and down the bay. | remember
perfectly the unexpected curves made
by this steamer. showing plainly the
countless dangers besetting hostile
feet regardless of the care that may
be used in feeling its way. No invad
ing army could possibly land. and even
If it succeeded in doing so the rice
fields, readily submerged as they are
would aid materially in thwarting the
advance and in isolating the enemy. a
successful invasion of Japan is simply
imDOSSiDle
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
A Tougher Rail.

Excuse me-" said the citizen Of the
plains. "but didn't we ride you out of
this town on a rail some ten years
ago?"
believe you did," responded the
fearless transformer.
"Well, look out this time"
"Oh. am used to travelling by rail-"
"That may be, stranger. but we only
have barb wire fences out here now"
philadelphia Record.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
ACQUISITION of Solicitations.

"What is your favorite salutation?'
she asked the dilatory youth.
"Eh! Why, don't know. What's
yours?"
The fair girl yawned YEARLY.
at would have been goodnight" she
said. But in about two minutes it
will be good-morning."
"Good-by," said the dilatory youth
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

I'm unfamiliar with American Gus
TOMS" said one European nobleman
to another. What is the usual mode
of procedure in marrying an heiress?'
1T is very simple. You tell the lady
how much you love her and her ia
Their how much you owe" Washing
ton Star.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

He-I know I'm late, dear. You see,
1 was detained a couple of hours by
an old friend who just got back to
town after a long absence. 1 had to
tell him all 1 knew.
She (snappishly)-I don't see why
that should have kept you so long
Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Illustrating His Subject.

mo. you can't see Mr.. Blankblank
this morning during office hours"
But he's public official. isn't hep
Eyes, and he's engaged in the public
service"
MAY | ask what he's doing?"
Hes writing a magazine article on
How Can We Improve the Oficehold-
er's Neglectful Treatment of the Pub.
licY "-Cleveiand Plain Dealer.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Why We Wink.

No satisfactory determination has
been made of the reason we wink.
Some suppose that the descent and re-
turn of the lid over the eye serve to
sweep or wash it off; others that cover
ing of the eye gives 1t a rest from the
labor of vision. if only for an inap-
preciable instant. This view borrows
some force from the fact that the rec
ord of winking is considerably used by
experimental PSYCHOLOGISTS to help
measure the fatigue which the eye sui
fers.-Popular Science.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

New England man was given to
addressing his cattle in rather en-
phatic terms. One day when the COWS
were more than usually frolicsome he
was heard to eXclaim: Yes. scatter,
will ye! Blast We! If there warn't
but one of We, ye'd scatter!'
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Hoitt's School

At Menlo Park, San Mateo County,
Cal, with its beautiful surroundings,
perfect climate, careful supervision,
thorough instruction, complete labor
atories and gymnasium, easily main
tains it's position in the front ranks
of schools for boys on the Pacific
Coast. Ira G. Hoitt, Phi. D., Principal.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
SUMMER

SUMNER is best time to
cure Catarrh Bronchitis and
Consumption. Our remedy is
guaranteed, $1.oo.
Pc. Box 973 WI. SMITH & co. Buffalo, n. Y
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
1t Was Easier Then.

Husband Cbitterly)-Now that 1 am
making fifty thousand year you don't
seem to be as happy as when 1 was
making ten!
Wife-Very true, my dear! But you
must remember that then it was sc
much easier for us to live within oul
income.-Puck.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
VIII Make You sleepv.

"A novel remedy for insomnia" says a
Philadelphia doctor. "is to try to picture
to yourself another person asleep. TIE
more clearly slecpless sufferer can do
this the stronger becomes the subjective
feeling Of drowsinPSS "
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Coated with chocolate, very small
and easy to take as sugar are Adams
Sarsaparilla Pills, for sick headache,
constipation, biliousness, dyspepsia,
sallow complexion. They purify the
blood, 10 cents, % cents. Druggists.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Hoax-Funny! Did you ever notice
it? -zi LII
Joax-Notice what?
Hoax-Why, in the beginning OF
the world a rib became a woman, and
now it's ribbons that become W.
man-Philadelphia Record
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

A mistake has been made somewhere
If a good cskemaker doesn't finally be-
come the mother of a large family of
boys.-Atchison Globe.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Seeking Information

Applicant For Situation as Parlor Maid
Should / be expected to hand things
at lunch, madam, or do you stretch? ~
Punch
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

I do not believe Piso's Cure for Con-
sumption has an equal for coughs and
colds.-JOHN F. BOYER, Trinity
Springs, Ind, Feb. Is. 1900.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

EETo Permanently Cured No fits or nervousness
y after first day Dr. Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer Send for FREE 81. 90 trial bottle and treat
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Hoods CdrSdpdriLLd

1t promptly neutralizes the acid in the
blood on which the disease depends, COM
pletely eliminates it, and strengthens the
system against its return. Try Hoods.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Librarians say that people who read
novels and nothing but novels are about
20 per cent Of readers in the public book
institutions.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Almost never. Cascarets cure so large
a percentage, that they're guaranteed
to cure chronic constipation or money
refunded. Druggists, 10c, 25c, SOC.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing Syrup the best remedy to
use for their children during the
teething period.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
You KNOW WHAT YoUARE rAkIN,

When you take Groves Tasteless Chill Tonic
because the formula is plainly printed on every
bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui-
nine In a tasteless form. No cure. No pay soc.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Adams, sarsapariI1a Pills

Cure constipation, sick headaches,
biliousness, dyspepsia, 10 cents, 25
cents. Druggists.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Stops the Cough

and Works off the Cold.
Laxative Bromo-QuinIne Tablets cure cold
in one day. No cure. No pay. Price % cents.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
The Best Prescription or nIalaria.

Chills and fever is a bottle of Groves taste
less Chill Tonic 1t is simply iron and quinine
in a tasteless form. No cure-no pay, Price soc.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Dinah-What did the fortune teller
say?
Sam-She says I'm gwine ter nab
a great stroke OBJ luck befo' 1 die, and
if it doan come true, she gwine ter
refun' de money!-Puck.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
MORAL,

"But, papa" said the fawn, 1.-THE man
had no chance at all against your skill
and science. 1 don't see anything brave
or to be proud Of"
"But you WILL" said the Big Buck
Deer, "when you get to be as big as l
am."-New York Life.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Al
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure
E. W. Groves signature is on each box Csc
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Why Spring Is Feminine.

Blobbs-Why do poets always refer
to spring as being in the faminine gen
dor2
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
An Inverted Fable.

"Now," said the Big Buck Deer to
his eldest born, 81 will show you a
sight that you never saw before and l
am so proud of that feel like walking
around on my hind legs all the rest of
my life"
"Whyp' said the fawn, sit is a man,
as 1 liver
"Yes," said the fawn's proud parent,
dragging out the carcass from behind a
tree, land now. like a little good deer,
run and get me my sharpest knife,
while 1 skin him and prepare his head
as dining-room ornament. And shall
1 tell you how your papa did such a
brave deed? Then listen, my son. This
morning, in company with my faithful
bloodhounds, 1 tracked the man
through the forest, drove him into the
lake, having first ascertained that he
was unarmed, and then, as he was
swimming about almost exhausted,
put forth in my canoe and shot him
at leisure in a nice vital spot where 1t
wouldn't show"
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

And did you find the Chinese a
brave nation?" was asked of the re-
turned soldier.
Indeed he replied, casting a side
long glace at a wagonful of loot which
was being unloaded, they were foe
men worthy of our steal. "-Indianapo-
lis Sun.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10

Slobbs-I suppose because she il
usually late.-Philadelphia Record.
Holbrook argus. (Holbrook, Ariz.) 1900-1913, 1901-08-10
Punishment and Reward.

Whenever certain Atchison boy is
bad his mother makes him put on his
Sunday clothes She finds that this is
punishment enough, though it is re-
ward for her girls when they behave
Atchison Globe.
On Bargain Basis.
Lawyer-Well, madam, let us under
stand each other. What do you want a
divorce for?
Fair Client-Can 1 ged one vor aboud
S4?-Chicago Tribune.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1901-05-30
children's Day at Christian Church

The first Sunday in June is known
as Children's Day and will be fit
tingly observed at the Christian
Church in Extra. There will be
music and flowers, happy faced
children and general good cheer.
The church will be handsomely
decorated for the occasion. This
has come to be a great day in this
denomination. 1t was first obser.
we'd in 1881; now it is annually
observed in almost all their schools.
1t is held in the interest of Heather
Missions. This people now have
missions in all of the great heather
fields of the world. Last year the
Sunday Schools of this body raised
$4,000 on C%hildren's Day. Since
1881 they have raised over 100000.
! Special effort is being made this
year to raise $4,000 the first Sunday
IN June and we learn the signs
point to success.
We have no doubt the Sunday
School in this place will do it's full
share toward the $4,000. They are
liberal and enterprising. We hope
the friends will render the children
substantial encouragement in their
lofty purposes. The school will be
delighted to see their friends pres.
ent on that day. 1t will be a great
rally day aud a day OF generous
gifts, a day long to be remembered
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1901-05-30
Budget.

The origin of the word 'budget,"
meaning an estimate Of government
revenues and expenses. is thus explain.
ed:
Almost from time immemorial it was
the custom in England to put the esti'
mates Of receipts and expenditures pre-
sented to parliament in a leather bag
the word budget being thus borrowed
from the old Norman word bougette
which signifies n leather purse. Curl
ously enough. the word has passed back
again into France from England.-NeW
York Tribune.