Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1901-03-08
TALLY ON FIBS.
THE ASTONISHING RESULT OF ONLY
ONE DAY OF COUNTING.

an Enormous Bouquet of the Flow
ers Of Fable Adorns the Daily
Speech Of the Average Mortal.
do you know that the average Amer
lean is a hopeless and incorrigible and
unmitigated liar.2" said an amateur
cynic of Baronne street. II don't mean
he lies viciously, but suave mendacity
glides off the end Of his tongue as cas-
lily as molasses flows from a spigot on
a warm day in summer. He does it un-
consciously, habitually, automatically
just as his lungs expand and his
heart palpitates and his hair grows,
without any special attention from the
rest of his system. He does it because
he can't help it. The thing has become
a second nature.
Il had all this brought home to me-"
continued the amateur cynic, "by a
very simple little experiment which
tried on myself and a few others no
&oASNA oSO liz SSSICAudy liz lAllS.
Did you ever see a pocket counting ma
chine? Well, it's a little device shaped
like a watch. Whenever you press the
stem the needle on the dial jumps a
point, and it registers in that way up
to several thousand on the principle Of
a cyclometer. They are used by any
body making long counts and are very
1on1u boca,1ca thou poror foroo+ uboro
they leave off.
But, to come to the point, some
thing happened to remind me Of our
national vice of untruthfulness as l
was getting up yesterday, and I deter
mined to keep tab on myself and as
certain, if possible. how many actual,
out and out lies l.. put INSTRUMENTATION:
have n of the little counting ma.
chimes have just mentioned, so I slip:
ped it into my pocket and started out.
"The first lie I:told was right at the
door. Smithson was passing and stop.
ped to shake hands, Hello, old MANI
said 1, Delighted to see you when as
a matter fact I was deuced sorry to
StG I'LL StluSC - O"C Ill lSu. 1
gave the counter a squeeze and bur;
ried on, but before l got to the Office
had logged It nine times.
"What dbl jog it for, did you ask ?
Oh, trivialities, mere trivialities, but at
the same time point blank lies, every
one of 'en. Whenever I opened my
mouth out dropped some COMPOUNDED
lr~o,1oJo Ytol1 Tnrno fha- Spl-n ho IN
sisted in springing on me was the best
Lever heard and then made q, double
tally in assuring his wife she vas look
ing remarkably well when she was
docking exactly Ikea sscarecrow., 1
told another friend I never laughed so
much in my life as I had at something
or other, l don't remember now what,
and still another that I2hadn't slept a
wink for three nights when | had neu-
ralgia lately-all lies, bald lies, in spite
of their harmlessness.
when l reached the Office and look.
ed at the dial, / was Mortified. Good
heayens!' l said to myself. 1T seems
to be physically impossible for me to
speak the plain truth IN the paltriest
- mWf&ESs III Il nAaJu SIGt IGlu0lu pC1iCSttS
qfat for half an hour and keep check
iaagoggs.' II ! !.
1Boggs IS U head ~bookkeeper and
VII pillar Ia one OF the suburban church.
es,' !, continued the amateur cynic. HI
wears rubber overshoes In wet wealth.
Ell, c~ultivates sandy side Whiskers, car.
ries q gingham umbrella, belongs to g
building and loan association and has
all the other marks Of severe respecta,
bility. i had supposed him to be the
auintessence of east iron %veracity but
when II sat down In cold blood to put
him on record ! was astounded atsthhe
blase fashion with which he friyoled
with the 4truth. pushed the button
On him lis times ins27 minutes; thersh
got into whispered conversation will
d caller. and 4 lost the thread of his
remarks. But III certain II I%Ha1
been Id .earshot the.ecounters would haEt