Fisherman & farmer. [volume] (Edenton, N.C.) 1887-19??, 1901-07-18
A Real Funny Story.

O'd Tim Iinkins, the barber ofWabash Ave
me, Chicago, Is great student OF provorbial
philosophy, and he sometimes cntcrtains his
customers, in the interval of a ''scrapc'' or
" haircut" by his apt applica ton" Of the we'll
known proverbs of the past to the conditions
or requirements OF the present. His regular
customers know his strong point and many
man who apparently goes in for a shave, is
really N search of a rest in cosy chair, and
has desire to hear Tim hold forth pro-
verbally. One day last week stranger came
in for n shave, and az he stretched himself
wcarily in the chair. Tim prepared to lather
him. The man incidon;ly rema REED that he
had intended coming in earlier in the day but
had been prevented. well, It's better late
than never, said Tim. smilingiy. mot al
ways, replied the stranger, flowly. "Uow
about losing your pocketbook l mover lost
one until yestcrday-nevcr did, but L would
sooner have kept it. Now, why was it better
70: me to lose it late than not at all 2? " Tim
acknowledged that he wrong and the man
continued Don't know what / would have
t'on1 in my predicamen., only an old acquain
lance Of mine on the Lake from. let me have
twenty to go on with" "Ah,' Clipped in
i'm, that was good A friend in need Is
friend indeed" mo. he isn't" snapped the
man who bon&; shaved. There you're
deaj wong again. How can a friend in need
be friend indeed? have good many friends
who are always in need and they are a nuisance
+ n" Always ol the borrow. Tim though. the
problem over in hi' mind and reluctantly ad-
nittcd that the man right. IIo had al
most made up his mini not to speak again
Whcn the stranger continued, "l s sir, they
src nuiEanc2s. Why one OF them follows has
been calling on me for the l,aet year and
threatens 10 get even with me some way if l
do not loan him fifty dollars. lie threatens
NO at every Wit" oh, l wouldn't mind
that, replied Tim uncCnSciously, "you know
the old adagc a barking dog never bi.e'.'"
There YOU are again, said the "shavee - ~
he wiped a little lathcr from the corner of
his mouth. Say, what do You know about
dogs. anyway, that you talk in Eli h silly
strain =? Have YOU ever yentured to so too
c'oSe to barking DO and if You did, what
did he do to you Did you ever know a bark
in; dog that didn't bite if he got the chancc?'
lin said he couldn't exactly call to mind any
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled the
claim in the proverb and there was q silence
Tor fow minutes while his razor was gliding
over the mans face. Then tho barber smiled
TO himself as he bethought him of good joke.
f suppose he said, he applied tho bay
rum, II suppose vou don't believe in the bar
bars' proverb at alp What's that % asked
the stranger, rising. Two heads are better
Than one, answered TIM. ''Of course Won
can understand why they are, in my business.
but l know You would like to say thoy would
be bad for a man with tho headache Or:
Nothing OF the kind, put in the other, sml-
nS. One OF your proverbs, at least, is Ugh.
1 happen 10 hilON tU:iL TWO nC1UE are peter
Than one Then YOU don't object to that
old adag2 p Not at all. 1t il dead righs
AID I would thank You very much if you have
any stray Lion heads at hand-.hose takcn
rom the Lion Coffee wrappers. Ny wife is
, ollec.ing them and she IS about six shy OF
,ho number required to get q Lady's Gold
Watch. You see in this case 1.-TWO heads arr
better than one, and twenty arc better than
ten. Just So added Tim, cheerfully, "bu:
you see, my wife is doing the same thing, and
expects a premium in lew weeks. so to her
also, two heads are letter than one. ''-"Weil.
iii that case" said the stranger. as he paid
Tim for the shave and prepared to depart,
You hal better tell your wife to do thu same
aa lie is doing. Save up the Lion heads
an ii after September Is. next, when the new
Premium List is issued. Tkan if she sends
them to tho Woolson Spice Co, L oledo Ohio.
she can have her pick Of some very choice
presents