Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-01-05

Thoroughly congenial party was taking
luncheon one afternoon recently in fash
ionablc downtown cafe. These at the table
were old friends, but several of them had
not met before for years. Therefore the
three-ye hopeful of Mr. Mac and
Mrs. Mac was not only a new acquaintance
of the others but was an object of unusual
interest by reason of the manner in which
the father boasted of the little chaps in
tellectual attainments
While awaiting the appearance of the ice
cream, Mr.. Mac grasped the opportunity to
dazzle his friends with the brightness of
the boy.
Now. son." he said. won't you spell
Jim for the ladies and gentlemen?"
Jim" responded Jimmy Mac in faint.
hestant voice
That's a good little man. proudly said
the father. And now spell cat. "
C said Jimmy. and after considerable
thought and some doubt, "a"
Correct announced Mr.. Mac. Now
go on.
But Jimmy apparently had struck snag,
and the proud parent was compelled to
volunteer assistance.
Don't you remember the last letter." he
Inquired. What is it we drink at home
in the evenings?"
Whisky" promptly declared Jimmy.
The bright boy excused from fur
Their questioning.
x X Z * x
lnQueSlS are sometimes very 1unny al
fairs remarked a western man yesterday.
Il remember one in the early days of my
county in Kansas, which. by the way, is
the home county of Jerry Simpson. A man
was found dead by the side of a small
stream out on the prairie. No mark was
found on his well-dressed body; his gun
- was fully loaded In his hip pocket and SO
was found in his pocketbook OF course
the coroner took charge of the money. A
jury was empaneled and after finishing Its
deliberations found that the man clearly
died of heart failure. The coroner prompt
ly paid from the dead mans pile the Sl2
due for expenses and discharged the jury.
The Sl3 remaining bothered him. He ar
gued that to turn that S13 over to the
county to be he'd In trust for the mans
possible relatives would be the same as
throwing it away. The man was a stran-
ger in those parts. Possibly he had no
friends. The coroner was equal to the &C.
casion, however He declared himself dis
satisfied with the verdict and called the
jury together again. They sat on the body
second time and found exactly the same
verdict. but the coroners mind was al
ease. The SO was exhausted
* * :: x
A very small pile of coal lay on the side
walk in front of house on street south,
east. A correspondingly small son of Ham
was sauntering along. and, seeing it
Am dat you ais coal?" he asked the
lady who appeared at the door.
Yes
Want it toted in?"
Yes
KANT l git de job?'
Why, you're pretty small, and then YOU
might charge too much. You might ask
more than | could pay"
How much is yo' got?' asked the small
man OF business. Kin yO' raise a dollah?'
"Oh. my goodness, no"
Seventy-five cents?"
No; run along and don't bother me, >
and she started to close the door.
Mebbe so YOU glib fifty cents"
No, no; run along.
Il reckons yo' all amt got or qua tah?"
.Ner a dime?''
No not even a dime replied the wo
man, beginning to laugh.
We'll, how much is you got" questioned
Ham, showing his worries. II sut'nly doe.
wanter git de job"
I've got just n nickel
We'll. I'm jus a-lookin fer nickel jobs,
and he straightway began.
x \ = 4 x
A veteran of the civil war was relatin.
some OF his experiences soldier tn
other day, when he was asked if he eve
knew Of an officer being killed in battle in
tentially by one Of his own men, Il neve
hhe" VI put one case. mat IS OF my owl
personal knowledge he answered IAN,
that was the captain of one of the com
panies L served in during the civil wal
This captain. whom We will call Smith, 70
that wasn't his name, was about as lack
ing in heart as any man 1 ever saw o
ever heard of. 1t was in March of one O
the closing years of the war, when we wer
i'll winter quarters down south. There wa
young fellow in the company who ha
but lately returned from a furlough of fiji
teen days. granted him to visit home
where his young wife lived with the oil
folks. A few days after his return h
received word that his wife was very i'll
and that her recovery was impossible. II
Went at once to his captain. asked for
few days leave. explaining that he wishe
to visit his dying wife. To the astonish