Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1901-05-03
CROCHETY CONuNDRUMS.
Some Glitterns Pearls Of Wit Scattered Promis.
cuousy to the Gaping Throns.

Some Glitterins Pearls of Wit Scattered Promis.
cuousIy to the Gaping Throng.
Perhaps you can answer me this
one," said the grain buyer, with con-
siderable hesitation in his voice. Nei-
ther Of you fellows probably knows
enough about the Bible to tell which
comes first, Genesis or Revelations,
and both of you probably believe that
Job was one Of the disciples, but this
is an easy one and if you haven't the
Biblical knowledge perhaps you Can
bring little common sense TO bear.
What Biblical character is it who is
not named in the Bible but whose
shroud is found in every household
and the cause of whose death was the
subject of a widely read novel?"
"Sounds like one of those thing.
we used to he called upon to translate
into Latin" commented the newspa-
per man.
Worse than that" said the min.
ing broker.
"Well, gentlemen, this is the third
and last call. If you don't come now
the deal is off,"
"Do you really mean to say that
there is an answer for that thing?"
Certainly. Listen now and will
explain it SO that even you can under
stand. The character in question is
Lots wife. Her name does not appear
in the Bible. She turned into salt,
which is, of course, household arti.
Gle. Her death was caused by one
last rubber toward the doomed city,
hence the novel" Looking Backward u
For heavens sake, why don't you
I give us a few verses out of the tele.
phone directory and call it conun-
drum?"
"That reminds me OF one," said the
newspaper man. "Lot had it first
Paul had it last, girls have it all the
time and Mrs. Mulligan had it in two
places until she married Moriarty, and
then she never had it again. What is
| it,"
Hush, my man, there might be
ladies within hearing" cautioned the
grain merchant.
Heard that when l was young
said the mining broker.
Didn't know it was fifty years DID,
commented the newspaper man.
whats the answer"
"The letter L, of course"
| Gentlemen" said the wheat mer.
chant, Eve will now quit this foolish
ness and return to the peaceful occu.
patton of earning our daily bread. But
by the way. can you tell me what hap.
pens when Sioux Falls?"
"She doesn't retorted the newspa.
per man. "Tbe divorce lawyers hold
her up. What is the difference be-
tween rejected lover and the city
dump?"
"One looks like thirty cents and
the other smells like it. Why is
Chauncey M. Depew like tramp?"
Grail roadster, begobs!"
"No; he's an after-a.dinner orator.
Why is box of cheap cigars"
"Like wasps nest in dog kennels
Sting ours. Why is an actress aged
20"
"Like German ex-hackmanf She
isn't. She's two-ten on the stage and
he's Teuton off the stage. That's the
worst ever. You ought to be ashamed
of yourself. Why is the climate OF
the Philippines"
"Like drunkard? It's sot. That's
worse yet"
"You unprincipled scoundrel, l was
going to ask you why the climate OF
the Philippines"
"I know it. You were going to ask
me why the climate of the Philippines
is like the youngest cat in the family.
Because it never reigns but it purrs,
and man that will get off a thing
like that ought to be hung. Why is a
chronic borrower like a pig in cloverr"
"Or Johnny at the jam jar? All he
wants is to be let loan, and hanging
is too good for man that will perpe.
trate such an atrocity as that. Why
Grover Cleveland"
He has Buzzard's Bay window.
Why is a man going up stairs back
ward at 3 o'clock in the afternoon like
blind horse with a broken leg trying
to escape from cross-eyed deputy
constable?"
"Well, why is he?"
"Blamed, if know"
THE women of q Kentucky church
hal X OO0 cook hooks pripted contain