The Wichita daily eagle., 1901-02-10
Fun Of The Word.

There Is the story OF a bullying colo
mel who turned on one Of his aides dur
ing battle and cried, Captain -.
you are scared"
You're right replied the captain.
and il you were hasf as scared as am
you'd be SIX miles IN the rear
9g ss
One Sunday called at a cottage in the
south Of Midlothian and requested a
measure Of milk which was promptly
handed 10 me. offered the woman who.
attended to my wants a few coppers. but
she curtly responded, Il Gamma take Si-
Ter on q Sawbathr' T thanked her. and
was turning away. when she whispered,
Mon. ye can drap the bawbees in that
tub vi the gratth lsoap-suas) int I'll
get them cor the morn
*
A writer for The Boston Transcript
vouches for the truth Of the folfowine
suffering story about William Travers;
II seems that TraYers was NJ a garden
party at Newport one afternoon when
young lady said 20 him: What tine Is
II. please. Mr. Trayerse" Travers took
out his watch wabble6 his mouth awhile
blinked, ard finally said: -'Itn be SIS
six o'c-c-c-c-cloek By the time ] can say
it, Ii really lacked FIVE minutes Of SIX
when he began.
x < z
De Wolf Hopper was once a witness in
suit for slander, and the opposing
counsel IN the court room. said:
You are an actor. I believer"
Yes" replied Hopper
rs not that a low caIling?"
7 don't know, but It's SO much better
than my fathers that am rather proud
of H."
What was your fathers calling. may
] ask2"
He was lawyer" said Hopper
A young man had occasion 10 desire
TO know the distance eff q nearby Mis-
sissippi town from Memphis. ard hear
ing that a newly employed porter was
from that locality, he turned to him for
information
Bob" said the young man. how far
Is it TO Holly Springs
(which way yo' mean. subj" was the
rtply.
why. both ways. y there are two"
well sub. it's forJy-fve miles BY rail
rod. an sixty-dve by dirt rod" said
the negro, as one who spoke from expert
ence.
ZEE
IN a story called "The Goblin recently
published in England. two boys Archie
and Willie are discussing large questions
with the bishop:
God can do anything. can't He2"
Yes. Archie"
Emboldened By the bishops confrma-
ton Of his own unwavering faith. Archie
continued.
IF God said a pig was 10 jump out OF
the window. a pig would, woul lat p
And Willie. who walked by faith where
tf- of1as- e~T r,o~a rr~r-aff frat hae fr0H
by sight. chimed In:
Even if there wasn't a pig2
< gg
rash clergyman once without further
equipment in natural history than some
desultory reading. attacked the Darwin
ian theory in some sundry magazine ar
ticles in which he made himself uncom-
monty merry at HuXiey's expense. This
was intended To draw the great man
FIRE and as the batteries remained silent
the author proceeded TO write 20 Hux-
ley. calling his attention % the articles.
and at the same time with mock mod
esty asking advice AS 20 the further
study Of these deep questions. Huxley's
answer was brief and u the point.
Take a cockroach and dlssect itl'
aE Eg
Two inmates Of Scotch asylum. work
ing in the garden. decided upon an at
tempt at escape Watching their oppor-
tunity when fbeir keeper was ab ent
they approached the wall.
Noe bend doom. Sandy" said the one
and III elm Up your shoulder 70 the
top, and then I'll gle ye a hand up tae.'
Sandy, accordingly. bent down. Tam
mounting his back. gained the TOP Of
the wall and dropping over the other
side. shouted, as he prepared 10 make
of:
I'm thinking. Sandy. you'll be better
IA blde anither fortnight for you're no
near richt yet"
REB
Congressman Jones. IF Virginia. tells
this story Of his father: Directly after
the war Jones seni0r. was cent % the
state senate An old slave who had be-
longed to him was also elected O. the
senate TIE two drew adjoining seats
Senator Jones was very courteous. and
in addressing his former slave always
called him Senator. The old negro stood
IT for some time. and finally sald
.'Massa William. 7 don't like DIS sena-
tor business. KANT I come down - so
house and Visit that cook of youra2 7
suhtainly would Ike permission t5 visit
yo' kitchen The request was granted (
ard while Senator Jones was in his IT,
brary the other senator wss down iu tEs /
kitchen visiting the cook
x
The Rochester Post-Uxpress says that F
when the Prince n Wales was sbss,
,o visit Niagara Fails Biyndin had q a. +
val. one SIenor Farni. who was q char
lcter lie iss9ed an advertsemen- urg
ng that The prince make Eif initial eH-
trance 10 tAe great ana Tl0rioa Cci ef .
states IN striking manner Accord