The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1901-09-30
; Wit Of Lord Morris
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CRaltimore AmericanA

NBalimore American-(
lrishmen have a world wide reputation
Tor wit, and among the natives of the
Emerald isle who have contributed their
share toward the acquiring of this repu-
tation no class is better known than Ire
lands humorous judges.
Lord Norris is PROBABLY the most hu-
morous judge on the Irish bench. which
Is saying great deal. He is known
from end TO end Of Ireland for his vast
knowiedge on innumerable subjects and
for his brilliant intellect says an ex-
cnange, but the man Ia the irish street
Knows him chiefly. as the judge who
Is more dignified now than in the days
OF his yOuth-he is in the seventieS-but
only the other day he leaned over the
bench, when sitting as lord chief justice
OF ireland, and asked young barrister
Wnere ne came from County Antrim.
my lord. was the reply, and the judge.
turning to his clerk, asked: Did We
lVer come across SIGH a frightful accint
IN the course of yer loife2"
he was more unkind still to a doctor
who was giving evidence in a case be-
fore him 1t was at Coleraine where
veterinary surgeon was being sued for
damages for the value of a horse which
it was said he had poisoned The case
turned on the number of grains which
could be administered to the horse with
SAFETY, and a dispersary doctor stated
that he had often given eight grains to
man, the suggestion being that twelve
Tor horse could not, therefore, be eX-
ceSSlve- Never mind your eight grains,
said Lord Morris. I'VE all know that
some Doisons are cumulative in effect,
and we may go to lie edge of ruin with
IMMUNITY But the twelve grains-wOulo
they XIII the devil himself IL he swal-
lowed them2" The doctor who seemed
ANNOYED. did not know-he had never
had him for a patient. All. no, doc
Their. ye niver had" came from the
bench 'more's the pity The old bhoy's
still alive"
II was in Lord Morris court that one
of the strangest judgments on record
was once given IL was an abduction
case; the offense being OF purely tech
meal character. The Judge listened pa
tiently to the whole of the evidence and
then, addressing the jurv said: Il am
compelled to direct you TO find a verdict
Of guilty in this case, but you will easily
see that / think il is a triffing thing,
which / regard as lutte unfit to occupy
yours At any rate, il is much better
paid. Find. therefore, the prisoner guilty
of abduction. which rests, mind We, on
four Doints-the father was not averse,
the mother was rot opposed, the girl was
willing and the boy was convaynient."
The Jury found the prisoner guilty, and
the judge sentenced him to remain in the
dock till the rising o, the COURT Hardly
had he del vered sentence than. turning
to the sheriff. Lord Morris said Let us
CO. and. looking at the prisoner, he
called across the court: Marry the girl
at once. and God bless you BOTH
II was Lord Norris who, when some
body spoke of Mr.. Gladstone as a heaven
born genius. ho-ed that at may be a
long time before heaven is again in an
interesting condition"
It fell TO the lot of Lord Morris to ar
ray himself II gorgeous and gaudy robes
at flower show which was opened by
the Princes Christian, and his lordship
princess for his apparel. Your royal
hj-hness viii observe" he said, that
as vice chancellor of the university |
am compelled to wear all this finery. L
think it only fair to offer YOU this ex-
PLANTATION. lest you should think l am
t~,-ing to transform myself into a sun