davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1901-10-31
s.I had long snffarad from ind,oo

81 had long suffered from Indigestion ii
writes G.. A. LeDels, Cedar City, Mo.
Like others tried many preparations
but never found anything that did me
good until took Kodol Dyspepsia Cure.
One bottle cured me. A friend who had
suffered similarly | put on the use OF
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. He Is gaining
fast and will soon be able to work. Be-
fore he used Kodol Dyspepsia Cure indi-
gestion had made him total wreck. w.
d. Head.
The Press., 1901-10-31

G. M. Phelps, Forestdale, VT. says
his child was completely cured of a bad
case of eczema by the use Of DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve. Beware of all coun-
terfeits. 1t instantly relieves piles. w.
D. Head.
The Press., 1901-10-31
Not Unusual.

May-Have you heard of Clara's hard
luck?
Belle-No. What is it?
'Now that they are married they
have to retrench awfully to make up
the money he wasted while counting
her-Life.
The Press., 1901-10-31

The enormous expectation of American
matches leads to the conclusion that
America lights the world.
The Press., 1901-10-31

Honesty pays twice as well as half
honesty. Don't forget it.-Atchison
.1lOhe.
The Press., 1901-10-31

w. T. Wesson, Jacksonville, Va.
druggist, writes: "Your One Minute
Cough Cure gives perfect satisfaction.
My customers say 1t Is the best remedy
for coughs, colds, throat and lung trou-
bles." W. D. Head.
The Press., 1901-10-31
An Ohio court In q divorce suit ordered
woman to pay alimony to her husband.

Do you suffer from piles? II SO do not
Witch Hazel Salve will act more quickly,
surely and safely, saving you the expense
and danger OF an operation. w. D. Head.
The Press., 1901-10-31
Lobsters, Eggs.

A fair sized female lobster carries
10000 eggs at a time. The eggs, when
extruded, are covered with viscid
matter which, drawn out into threads,
attaches them to the long hairs that
fringe the fanlike tail of the mother.
These threads quickly become hard
and strong. iae eggs waving about In
the water and being thus aerated.
When they are ready to be Matched, the
mother lobster Lscillatcs her tail so as
to assist the offspring to escape.
The young at first resemble shrimps,
being about one-third of an inch in
length. They have bright blue eyes.
After few days they desert the moth
err and swim out into deep water,
where they rise to the surface and lead
a vagabond sort of existence for thirty
or forty days.
During this time the young ones
change their shells four times. On the
fourth occasion they shed their swim
ming organs and fall to the bottom,
where they remain for the rest of their
lives. During their existence as swim
mers most of them are gobbled up by
ASucSs Luz WAiCA tACy dAOAO AdNOAAIS
food.
How Things Grow I'm Hawaii.
How great are the possibilities Of
Hawaii as a fruit and vegetable grow
ing country will be understood when
it becomes known that four crops Of
potatoes have been produced in sue
cession on the same piece of land with
in twelve months. Radishes become
edible in ten days after sowing. Straw
berry vines bear fruit all the year. The
berries are of the finest flavor.
Cabbage grows ell the year, and it
apparently makes no difference wheth-
err it is planted in the spring, summer,
autumn or winter. Parsley once sown
grows forever apparently. Lima beans
continue to grow and bear for over a
year, and they have to be gathered
every week after starting to bear. Gu
cumbers bear the entire year. and so
do tomatoes, which, with proper at
tention, bear for years. Raspberries
bear for six months.
Pineapples come into bearing when
the plants are four months old and bear
in abundance for years. Lettuce can
be planted at any time, and it develops
quickly. The same Is true of celery
Fruit Trade Journal
The Press., 1901-10-31

which
all lighting accounts be settled the keepers of this
discount of
promptly The win be his
The Press., 1901-10-31

Pronounce the presidents name as If it
was spelled Roosevelt, with accent on first
syllable.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
LoNoevlIY IN 18Th cENTURX

p-cSs>.iou. Compared = Philosophers
& 8 and Farmerp In the Lead. III
HAS the past century contributed to-
ward the increase or the diminution OF
huma an longevity That was the ques-
ton discussed the other day by group
Of French scientists. In comparing the
statistics of morality in the nineteenth
century with those brought out by Du-
Willard at the close Of the previous cen
tury it appears that the average long
eyity since 1889 increased by i've or SIX
years. Therefore, the question put Dy
our medical celebrity would seem to be
answered, the answer pointing to an In
crease Of the average length OF life.
But the present effort is to reveal the
mirage. II mirage there is, in the figures
before us; and that is thorny problem.
DIR. vacher and NJ. Bertillon tx the
average longevity in the nineteenth cen
fury at q years. All things being
equal, the number Of people who reach
ed the age of 73 was greater in the gen.
erations of the nineteenth century than
it was In those Of the eighteenth.
vacher only arrives at approximations.
He tried to find out IL professions pos
sessed any influence over the chances
Of life, and he was unable to come 10
q conclusion, because he found CEN
tenarians in all professions, even the
most unremuneratve. For all that, he
thinks that he can give the palm to
agriculture, because it was in the ram
lilies Of farmers that he found the great
est number of persons who had reached
an advanced age. Here statistics are IN
accord with the most rational prev1s-
ions.
The profession which presents a hap
py medium in the matter Of longevity
is that of the scientist. Among the sa-
wants one finds as many men who die
young as the number who die very old.
We know that FontenellO lived 100
years, and that Chevreul was 1O3.
Among those who reached ages quite
respectable, although their years were
fewer in number, are Humboldt, who
died at 80; Newton, at So; Franklin. at
"a, and Button, at 81.
The list Of those who died very young,
like Bichat and Paschal, is just as long;
but it includes, unfortunately, the mar
tyrs Of science, those who fell upon the
field of honor in the effort to harvest
some new neutrality-suspicious. and Com
merson in France, Hasselquist and Abel
in Sweden, Solokoff in Russia and many
others. Such deaths are beyond the
reach of the massive rules of statistics.
1t is noteworthy, however. that the cell
ebrated Cassini family is about the only
one in which the dual inheritance Of
longevity and scientific genius lasted
through four OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES des
Etats Unis.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
The Away.frOm.HOme Girl.

write your home letters regularly
and keep in touch with your parents
and old friends by weekly correspond
ence," writes Margaret e. Sangster, in
the Ladies' Home Journal, addressing
girls who have gone from home into
the world to seek their livelihood.
Never let Sunday afternoon drift
out without your hour spent In an init
mate and loving letter to the dear
mother. This Is a good occupation for
Sunday, and can hardly tell you how
minute and confidential and affection
ate this writing should be. But there
is no need. You know what you like to
hear from home, and what mother and
father most long for, when your letters
come. / follow those letters. Mother
Is in the kitchen, washing the dishes.
She wipes her hands and sits down in
the low rocking chair by the window
where the lilac is beginning to bud.
Father stands between the table and
the door, waiting to hear what you
have said, and'aware that he must wait
until mother has satisfied her heart
with the first reading. Then it will be
his turn. To them both you are, and
you will always be, just their own lit
tie girl, and You can never send them
q line which they will not scan with
eagerness. So never put OF your fam
lily at home with a scrappy, hurried
scrawl; take time; and tell them every
thing"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
WAS TORTURED
An Indianapolis Woman's Sworn State
ment of the Way in Which She
Was Saved From Death.
From the indianapolis New.


Mrs. Mary X. Burns, of 505 Hia-
watha street, Indianapolis, Ind, is liv-
ing evidence of the wonderful powers
of DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale
People, the remedy that cures where
all others fail. For years she en-
dured all the tortures of indigestion,
complication of troubles that five ply
sicians confessed their inability to
cure. Her story is well worth the at
tention OF every woman. She says:
"My illness commenced after my
first child was born. / was so weak
and nervous that it seemed l would
never get strong. For twelve years
doctored for female trouble, COM
plicated with nervousness and indiges-
ton. My stomach was so weak that
for days at a time l could eat nothing
but bread and milk. l was also troub-
led with palpitation of the heart and
was often so miserable that could not
lie down. Five doctors prescribed for
me, and took many kinds of medi-
cine without being benefited. One
day l saw DR.. Williams Pink Pills
advertised in the papers and I de-
cided to give them trial. did so
and had not finished taking the first
box when knew that l was getting
better.
"You can imagine the relief I felt
when I found that after years of suf-
fering I was being cured. continued
taking the pills, and the female trouble
entirely disappeared. DR.. Williams
Pink Pills for Pale People did more
for me than it was claimed they would
do. Since first took the pills have
not needed doctor nor any other
medicine; they have restored my
health, strength and happiness.
MRS MARY X. BURNS"
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 10Th day of October, 1900.
GEORGE H. SWAN,
(SeaD Notary Public.
DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale
People are sold by all dealers, or will
be sent postpaid on receipt of price,
so cents box, or six boxes for $3.50
(they are never sold in bulk or by the
hundred), by addressing DR.. Williams
Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Balzac's Convenient Trousers.

Balzac's Convenient Trousers.
In little village in the heart of
Touraine lives a small, brown old man,
says the London Onlooker, whose great
pride it is that he once had the honor
of making a pair Of trousers fer Balzac.
The old tailor delights to tell OF his
meeting with the distinguished French
man.
When l got to the chateau where
Monsieur BalZac was staying. | found
him in the garden writing a novel, He
was so busy that waited bit. Many
sheets of paper. covered with fine writ
ing, lay around him. He would write
spell then stare wildly about, and
then 60 at it again as if he knew that
a world was waiting for his words.
After standing near and watching
him a while had to interrupt him to
get his measure for the trousers. Ion
sieur Balzac was very goodnatured.
He smiled while measured him. but
he spoke but once.
mo feet" he said, as I finished, and
returned at once to his work.
l didn't know at all what he meant
but some way didn't have courage to
interrupt him again to ask, but I met
servant and inquired Of him what his
master meant by "No feet"
"Oh," says he. Monsieur Balzac
wants his trousers made without any
openings at the bottom, so that he can
sit and write without having to put on
slippers"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Satisfied with His job.

One of Cleveland's leading business
.oncerns hired a new man the other
day. and little later, when the superin-
tendent passed by, he noticed that the
new man was smoking pipe. The rule
against smoking on the premises is q
rigid one.
''See here, my man." cried the official,
"yOu can't smoke here"
The new man looked up and nodded
and the superintendent passed along.
A half hour later he was back again,
and 10! the new man was still enjoying
his pipe.
"Say," the official cried, didn't tell
you that smoking was not permitted
hereY"
"You did," replied the new man.
Didn't you understand meY
81 did"
"See here, perhaps you don't know
who ann"
That's true word"
"Well, I'm the superintendent"
The new man looked up at the official
with an expression of deep interest.
"Are We, sureY' he cried. "Superin-
tendent, eh? Well, it's fine job-take
care of it,
And he calmly returned to his work.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Patriotism Versus Pounds.

Uncle Silas Penniwise had never
seen Boston Harbor before This is
the place, l suppose" he said, gazing
over its blue waters, crowded with
shipping, where our Revolution fore
fathers threw that tea overheard"
"Yes," responded his city nephew, his
eye kindling. 81 don't wonder it stirs
you to the depths to look at the scene
Of that historic event. 1t marked an
epoch in the worlds history which no
patriotic American can recall without
a thrill of pride"
"Ye-es," replied Uncle Silas, musing-
ly. IL wonder how much the fellers
lost who owned that tea"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
MODERN BOOKS AND PLAYS.
Their Titles Are Picturesque and Su9
xestive, If Nothing More.

Their Titles Are Picturesque end SuE.
xestive, If Nothing More.
"Have you seen When Poached Eggs
Were on ToastY xtf
"No-Ive read the book. Have you
seen Under Two Breads"
mot yet. I've read the book. I
shouldn't think it would make nearly
so good play as 'Unleavened Flags. I"
81 didn't read 'Unleavened Flags
but If it was as poor a book as it was a
play it wasn't worth reading. Still. you
can't always tell. You've seen In the
Palace of Harum,' of course"
"Oh, yes, indeed wasn't half
through the book when saw that"
81 didn't read the book. l was afraid
they'd put the last chapter first as they
did when they dramatized David Mere
dith,' you know. l don't believe in this
dramatizing novel by mixing it up
until you can't recognize it,
ooh, 1 do It's ever so much more ex-
citing all mixed up. like the kind Of
dramatized novel where you can't tell
which novel 1t Is until the third act at
least"
To Shave and to Scold' ought to
make a good play-don't you think SOP"
"Oh, yes, indeed; much better than
'Carvice janet did. BY the way, did
you ever hear of play by the name of
'Hamlet?"
'HamletT Why, don't remember
any novel Of that name. Really? You
don't mean it? Oh, If that's the case l
shouldn't care to see it. Have you read
Huxley's Life and Letters?
"No, there's not the slightest chance
of its being dramatized, I'm told. I'm
reading When the Soup Grows Cold
the advertisement says it's sure to be
dramatized."- York Evening Sun.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Spring
Cleaning

You are made aware of the neces-
sity for cleansing your blood in the
spring by humors, eruptions and other
outward signs Of impurity.
Or that dull headache, bilious, nau-
seous, nervous condition and that tired
feeling are due to the same cause
weak, thin, impure, tired blood.
Americas Greatest Spring Medi-
cine is Hoods Sarsaparilla.
1t makes the blood rich and pure,
cures scrofula and salt rheum, gives a
clear, healthy complexion, good appe-
tite, sweet sleep, sound health.
For cleansing the blood the best
medicine money can buy is
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Discordant Custom in Berlin.

Berlin is probably the only city of
any size in which there Is absolutely
no attempt at anything like a general
dinner hour, or even at uniform bust
ness hours. Each circle of professions
has Its own hours Of business, which
naturally regulate the household meal
arrangements. Army and Official cir
cles have certain hours of duty: bank
ing and commercial houses have their
own hours; writers, actors and artists
theirs, and the university and the
schools form another set with other
hours. II you have q wide visiting list
in Berlin you may be asked out to
dinner at any time from 2 until Z.
Hopeless dyspepsia is the penalty II
you do not keep in one set.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
A Boys Composition on Girls.

"A BOYS OOmpO6lClOn On G1rlSs
Girls is things wat gets taken out for
nothing to theyatres and cirkusses and
parties and everything. wish / was
a girl. my sister Mary was one and
she's got a soft thing of it too. Hank
Wilson comes to see her every knight
and he talks her out riding and dams
ing, and everything. He never talks
me out altho I'd like it just as WE'LL
When duff Gordon was hear heard
hank wilson tell him that his girl was
an awful exkspense to him, and that
he had to treet her to oisters and ise-
kreem, and everything. Then Duff
gordon winked and sed, never mind,
her old man has got lots of tin.
Yes sed hank I'LL have to Grim and
barrett til we're MARRIED and then if
she wants chocklet kandie She'll have
to get it herself. Then they Poked
each other in the ribs and LATED. Wee
had dinner rite after that and hank
Wilson and Duff Gordon was there too
askt pa. Please pa won't you shO me
some ov your tin. Tin? Said pa what
do you mein? Wei said hank wilson
said Mary was an orfel xpens to him
and duff gordon sed never mind, that
the old man is got lots of tin and then
hank sed after he was Marryed Mary
would have to bye her chocklet kandie
herself, and then evribodi skolded me
and kalled me Mains and they got
fighting amung themselves and Mary
kried and hank looked like If he was
going to kry too and after vile they
made up and kissed and said wuz a
young liar and hank wilson give me a
kuarter and tolled me to keep quiet
and not to be fresh. never did like
girls anniehow.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
To Play "ShoppinQ."

The leader says: 81 went shop
ping this morning, and everything
bought began with A. From the gro,
Ger 1 bought points to a player and
waits for response), from the drug
gist points to another), from the
dry goods store, from the baker"
etc. The responses must be given
quickly. The penalty is to take the
place of the leader and start another
letter.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Knew the Sort.

Eleanor's Mother-You do Eleanor a
great injustice, my dear. She is not
idle, only delicate. She has no power
of endurance.
Eleanor's Father-Humph! / know
all about her power of endurance. It's
the kind that'll let her dance all night
in shoes two sizes too small for her,
and make her too tired the next day
to dust the parlor.-New York World.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
ADDreCiative.

"You have fine pedigree" said the
American multi-milliOnaire to the
nobleman.
Yes" was the nonchalant answer.
"And l want to tell you, appreciate
such things. If there is anything l
take an interest in it is a pedigree.
Why, when l was younger could "a
to the races and name over the ances-
try of every horse at the track."-Wash.
ington Star.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Woes of a Wife.

ooh. that I should have married a
funny mani" she walled.
what is the matter, lovely dear?"
asked her most intimate friend.
HE came home and told me he had
sure way to keep jelly from getting
moldy at the top, and when l asked
him how he said turn it upside down"
Boston Traveller.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
1t Wouldn't Do.

Baron Munchausen had just writ
ten a letter to a friend.
He closed with a flourish. yours
truly" and signed his name.
Then, with a melancholy smile, he
erased the word truly"
1T would only move him to derisive
laughter" he said.-Chicago Tribune.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Mot Connleted-

Mrs. Darlington told me before
we were married that you had an in.
come of $4,000 year. What has be-
come of it?
Mr.. Darling-Cant tell you until
get an itemized bill from your dress
maker.-Denver News.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Laureate Nonsense.

Tennyson is said to have been fond Of
foolish fun, that ever delightful sort Of
fun which is not wit but nonsense.
One day, at Burlington House, he ask
ed the guests conundrum which he
had just made:
who are the greatest women in the
worldY
The answer was:
miss Ouri, the Misses Ippi and Sara
Gossa."
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

The Meaning in Squeak.
Gus de Smith-Those new boots of
yours squeak awfully; perhaps they
amt paid for yet?
Johnny-That's all nonsense. II
there is anything in that, why don't
my coat, and vest, and my trousers,
and my hat squeak, too?-Exchange
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Amending Shakespeare.

Her Escort-Ise awful fond OBJ
music, specially dance music.
Miss Snowflake-So's l. Doan' day
say dat music am de food OBJ Tub?
1T am de very choking an watah-
million of lub."-Puck.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Serum for Diphtheria.

During recent epidemic of diph-
iberia in a town on the Hudson, 205
cases were treated with serum, and
among these there were only two
deaths
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Tho Twentieth Century.

The twentieth century began January
list, 1901. and will end with 1000. People
did not begin to reckon time from A. ID. 1,
but waited until about the $50 year of the
Christian era. People who begin to take
the great health restorative. Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, Immediately after the
first outbreak of dyspepsia. malaria, rheu-
matism, consultation. nervousness or kid
ney trouble will date their cure immediate
ly from then.
Why Men Fall.
Duty very often fingers and permits
curiosity to get there ahead OF it.
Chicago Daily News.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
For Keeps,

Ascum So you've got political
situation? Do you expect to keep
it?
Rafferty-Faith, do, so, an what's
more, l ixpict it to kape me.-Phila-
delphia Press.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Restoring a Medieval Castle.

At HohkOninsburg, in Alsace, the
remains of an early medieval castle
is to be restored by the kaiser after
the manner in which Pierrefonds was
rebuilt by the architect Violet lie Due
for the Empress Eugene.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

you KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
When You take Groves Tasteless Chill Tonic,
because the formula is plainly printed on every
nine in q tasteless form. No Cure, No Pay. Soc
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

All diseased conditions of the
blood and skin are benefited by
the well known remedy, Garfield
Tea; it purifies the blood and
clears the complexion.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

1t comes as natural for a girl to like
her school teacher as for a boy to dis.
like his.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

Aluminium Bridges for Cavalry.
The Austro-H Hungary war Office has
recently tried with success bridges of
aluminium for cavalry. They are the
invention of Captains de Vaux and de
Vail, and are easily carried on wagons.
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
A Forehanded Lover.

"Shan't we elope, George?"
'"Yes, il you think it will please your
father. Financially I'm not prepared
to get him down on me-"
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infal-
ible medicine for coughs and colds.--N.
w. SAMUEL. Ocean Grove, N. j., Feb. II,
1uO0
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11
Heed the Red Flag Of Danger !

Red pimpes, blotches. boils, sores are danger
signals of torpid liver, poisoned blood. Cas-
carets Candy Cathartic will save you. All
druggists, l0c, Csc Soc
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-04-11

Street car conductors are never
beautiful. In fact, they are not even
passing fare.-Philadelphi Record.