Sunday morning globe., 1901-11-17
POST Office lunch
Two Kinds Of Coffee and Different
Quality Of ViandS for
CHIEFS AND COMMON CLERKS
The Snap Enjoyed by The Government
Caterer in tho Post office Department
Under the Protection Of Certain High
Officials Who Participate In the Rake Offs
Profits

There is an individual with an un-
pronouncable name drawing Govern
ment pay with a patent sucking ma
chine in the Postofiice, who has, be-
sides, the extraordinary privilege Of
running a free lunch for the chiefs
and a dear lunch for the clerks. He
has two kinds of coffee and two differ
ent coffee pots. Occasionally in the
rush a common clerk gets a cup Of
the coffee intended for the chiefs and
becomes so eXhilerated as a result
that he has to either lay Off or get his
snout mashed for tyring TO boss his
fellow clerks.
There are two kinds or qualities of
all the various viands supplied by this
enterprising caterer, who rent free
and an assured income. serves the
midday lunch In the P0stofice The
first quality is served the chiefs and
higher clerks and the aCu terated stun
is thrown to the common herd. It Is
alleged that for this speCiai privilege
certain high officials not only have the
run of their (false) teeth free, but
that they participate in the rake Off
and profits. Common clerks who growl
or kick at the lunch served them
are spotted and their names quietly
inserted in the mo good books Of the
chiefs, as do also those who are so
recklessly Independent as to go out
side the building and patronize lunch
counters conducted by honest citizens
who have to pay rent and whose names
are not on the monthly pay rolls of
this paternal Government OF course
all competition against this favorite
caterer is promptly frowned down or
stamped out and, so far as the Post
Office is concerned, he is:
Monarch of all he surveys;
His rights there are none TO dispute
Ard If clerks attempt to get gay
They are officially banged in the
snoot."
The Globe apologies to its old
friend, Mr. Alexander Selkrk for the
liberty taken with his soliloquy on the
island of Juan Fernandez, but being
unable in the crash Of empires and
rush of worlds, to think Of anything
more appropriately descriptive Of the
absolute and exclusive privileges en-.
ioyed by the Postofice lunch caterer,
than the verse so atrociously mangled.
we have fallen back on the liberty of
the press and plagiarized a good
thing.
Notwithstanding the traditionally
docile spirit of the common Govern
ment clerk he is Kicking on the
Postofiice lunch, or rather on the fact
that there are two different kinds of
coffee and viands with precisely the
same names and prices, for the infer
ior brand Of which he has to pay,
while the chiefs and higher officials
are served with the unadulterated and
superior quality at the same price in.
Guiding a per cent Of the profits, for
the few higher monkey monks in the
combine.
The Postmaster General viii please
overlook this growl and pay no atten-
tion to the matter or complaint.
We deem this admonition to the p
NJ G.. necessary, otherwise on reading
The Globe he would, instead of spend
ing the Sabbath in religious devotlons,
be sure TO visit the building on the
"Avenoo' and raise sheol Any official
who would ask for Sc 600. 600 to be ex-
pended under the superintendency of
August w. Machen for Rural Free De.
livery is capable of placing a mortgage
on the Capitol and permit the fore.
closure Of the same to prevent Con.
gress from assembling.
The investigations during the pres.
ent session Of Congress will necesltate
the enlargement of The Globe, the
use Of smaller type and the condensa-
tion of even first-class murder, rape
and arson scoops. We shall have room
for nothing else but the exposition and
exploitation of the deyilment and
skulldudgery developed by Congress.
ional committees in the T. M. G.'s De.
partment, especially the Rural Free
Delivery branch, the Pension Office,
and the other Addition Division and
Silence" cabals and cliQues plundering
the taxpayers right under the pro-
boscis Of Teddy, the Terrible"