Holbrook argus., 1901-06-29

Hell always say what I think. She
i notice you are extremely reticent.-
King.
81 suppose rum brought you here"
the prison visitor. Eyes,
ma'am, an a patrol wagon" replied
the prisoner.
A Wisconsin newspaper refers to
man who was caught by an eight-foot
cave-in of snow as "a little bit under
the weather"
She-"Why do they always speak of
the sad sea waves?" He-"I sup
pose because they usually look blue"
Harlem Life.
Mrs. Keyboard-Why do you always
sit at the piano? You can't play a
note. Old Stokes-Neither can anyone
else while I'm there.
you ask for the hand of my daugh.
ar! What expectations have you"
"Why-none at all" Neither has my
daughter. Take her and be happy"
McCarthy-"Old Brown declares you
are the most entertaining talker in the
club. What do you usually talk about
in his company" McCormick-"Old
Brown"
He-And now, darling, when do you
think We would better announce our
engagement? She-Oh, there is no hur-
ry, dear. Any time within the next
twenty-four hours.-Harper's Bazaar.
"Yes, she wouldn't speak to the edl-
tor when she met him." Had he Of
Tended her" 4 should say he had.
His society reporter called her one of
the last century's buds."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Only One Theory: "How in the world
did she ever come to marry man with
one Leg" 81 don't know, unless it can
be traced to her strong liking for dam
aged goods that come cheap."-Chi-
cago Times-Herald.
Tourist understand that you have
relics of the war for sale, my little
man? we did have" replied the boy,
"but they have bought us out, an the
swords daddy buried last week won't
get rusted fore summer"
Exposure: "Where are you rushing
so fast?" up to the health Office to
get vaccinated." "Eh! Been expos
edY "Yep. Telephone girl this morn
ing gave me the pest-house number by
mistake. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Diner-"Come, tell me straight. Is
1t any real advantage to a man who
gives you a tip" Truthful Walter
Honestly, | can't say that 1t is; but 1t
Is apt to go hard with the gentleman
that doesn't tip NICHOLSON Trans
cript.
Awe-struck Visitor-It must be very
difficult to produce such an exquisite
work of art Dealer Nonsense. AL
most anybody can paint picture, but
finding a victim to buy il after it is
painted is where the art comes in
Tit Bits.
whats all that crowd of women
over there at Bargen's?" shoppers
who read Bargen's adj" "But that's
an unusually large crowd for so early
in the morning." 81 know. but the 'ad'
said: Come early and avoid the
crowd Elk.
Tainted: 81 hear you want TO sell
your dog. Pat. They tell me he has
pedigree" "Shure. an OF niver MOTTO
ed it. sor Anyhow, he's nothin' but
puppy yit, an Dim thinkin' as how
he'll be afther outgrowin' it, sor."-
) Philadelphia Bulletin.
"What brought on these dyspeptic
feelings which cause you so much
trouble, 1 wonder?" 81 haven't the
slightest idea. All Tve eaten is few
oysters and a broiled lobster, and a
taste of ice cream and all I've taken to
drink Is a glass of milk"
. 81 am sorry for you, my boy" said
the old man. 81 feel certain you are
about to wed a woman that does not
know how to cook" at might be
worse, father" answered the young
man. "She has promised never to try
to learn Indianapolis Journal.
Cause of the feud: Mr.. Meddergrass
Eli Slocum an Bill Hocorn amt
speakin' now" Mrs Meddergrass-
do tell What's up?" Mr.. Medder-
grass-"Hi claims his th'mometer aver
ages ten degrees lower'n Bills in whit
er an fifteen degrees higher in sum-
mer.''-Baltimore American
Fatal Process: "Gazzam has been
: going without his breakfast for a
month, to reduce his f1esh," said
Twynn. with what effectY asked
Triplett. "He is losing two pounds a
week and is very much tickled over it,
''Well, If he keeps on at that rate he'll
be tickled to death. detroit Free
Press.
mo, can make you no contribution;
don't believe in sending out foreign
missionaries" But the Scriptures
command us to feed the hungry" The
, man Of wealth shrugged his shoulders.
!. "Well, I'd feed them something cheap
err than missionaries he rejoined, with
the Drusquerie that characterizes his
class.-What to Eat
Charley, DEAR" said young Mrs. Tor
kins, 81 am going to turn over
a new leaf" "In what connection %
I'm going to quit being supersti-
, tious. l have always disliked to be-