Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-08-03
THE JOKE WAS ON HIM

II
A former Washingtonian who now lives
In New York closed up his Manhattan es-
adjustment few weeks ago and went
down to Atlantic City to loli around and
smoke. AT the same time his wife. a
Washington girl. came on to Washington
to visit her folks. n
The other day the lolling husband in At
lanuc City Eas Summoned back to New
YORK by his business, and on the morning
that he received this summons he had a let
Ter from his wife in Washington saying
that she was starting home for New York
on the l. am. train.
GOOD job, said the husband in Atlantic
city to himself. '.I'n just meet her train
IN Fhiiadelphia and surprise her by turn
ing up. ana We can ride together to New
w hich he did He went up from Atlantic
City to Philadelphia on a morning train,
loaIed around Slumberburg for an hour or
SO ana was at the station when the Wash
ington train got in. He hustled through
the gate and clambered aboard the rear
car, and then started forward to find his
spouse.
She was in the third car he struck, When
ne saw her however, he came pretty close
TO falling down in the aisle. She was up
in one of the front seats. with her back to
ner husband as he entered the car from
the rear OF course and her hatieSs head
rested BACK on the cushion in manner
that looked distinctly languishing to the
startled and pallid husband. Her head
was very close to the grayish-brow head
u man, only small part of whose Van
Dyke bearded face the husband could see.
Inc husband could hardly believe his
eyes. be toppled into one of the rear seats,
yanked out his handkerchief and mopped
ms forehead and found that he was al
most IN a tremble of establishment.
:, great scott. he thought, breaking out
r. ton Inn, sol.
ple: can't be my wife. the salt water
isn't out of my eyes yet. I'll look again.
he rose from his rear seat and looked
again, VI course the woman whose head
was 50 close to that of the man with the
Van Dyke beard was his wife. He would
know the back of her head among thou
sand.
;, The husband was just fairly smoking by
me cheery~ laughter Of his wife reached
MS ears, and he did something that one
Wouid not suppose Is really ever done out
sac the pages of a cheap novel-he smoth-
ereu cuss. He saw the wreck of his
little home. He saw all sorts Of things
that the male idiot always sees under such
and similar circumstances
les, yes; this husbands story was sad
Sad one as he sat there in a rear seat,
gnawing his nails wondering just what d
De the best way to kill the Van-Dyked
chump.
He hadn't yet figured this point ors be-
charged up the aisle toward where his
"lfe and the unknown were sitting There
was blood In his eye, and his features were
working viciously. and every muscle Of
ms oody was aching from the tension.
as he stopped over the back Of the seat.
tapped his wife on the shoulder and said
In choked, hoarse voice:
clara. word with you"
His wife turned her head swiftly, and
when she saw her husband her face light
ed up delightedly.
why. Jacla' she exclaimed. rising In
her seat and facing him, with her hands
extended. "how in the wide world do you
happen to be on this train? Did you-are
you i'll? Is there any bad news?" for She
mad noticed his wild looks and had become
alarmed as she was talking
Just a word with you, Clara" replied
her husband. still in that awful tone, at
the same time gazing with deadly hatred
In MS gaze at the man with the Van Dyke
beard. who was grinning with what SEEM
cd TO the husband a combination of ash
ninity and impudence at both husband and
wife, '-''
The wife stepped out OF the seat. but as
she did so the whole truth OF the business
flashed through her mind. She threw back
ner head and let out peal of laughter
The man with the Van Dyke threw back
MS head and laughed, too.
Why. Jack, you old jealous thing. YOU ,''
said his wife. archly regarding him with
her head on one side and then breaking
again into mlrth.
eyes.
And is II really and truly an awfr1,v
dreadfu1ly jealous as II iooksg' she In,
CURED. And is lit going to pet a h,p
snlckersnee and cut it's little wife all to rib,
bons. like Bluebeard and hide what's left
OF her away in some dark cupboard ~
The husband looked from her to the sill,
grinning man with the Van Dyke. Their
brazen hardihood amazed him. He couldn't
account for it.
Jack" said his wife, after another hurst
OF merriment, shake hands with brother
Jim. the only one OF my brothers you've
never seen before. He got back from tho
Asiatc station a few days ago. and he
thought he'd take little run over to New
York with me. You'd never recognize him
from his pictures with that horrid fnzzv
beard on. would your"
Then the husband, feeling more Ike !,
fool than 1t is the lot Of most men to fool
throughout the entire course Of their lives
shook the paw Of his handsome brother,
in-law. young naval officer. who only
returned to Washington last week from y
three years cruise on the China station
His wife and brother-in- euyed him
all the way to New York, and after thew
got there the only way he could induce
them to call 1t all off and promise to for
get It was to take them to q certain favor
lite restaurant of his wife's and blow them
to the choicest and most able-bodied feed
that could be bought for money.