Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1901-07-16
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Didn't you have trouble In getting
SO many antiques?" Dear me. no
had them made to order"
Whispered Friend-Her face is
her fortune The Enemy-How inter-
esting! Made it herself, too. didn't
she?-Harlem Life.
Jaggles-Is that hotel very exclusive?
Waggles--It must be; no children are
taken, and it has accommodations for
pet dogs.-Town Topics.
Mamma Ito Freddie, Just returned
from call upon his aunt)-well Fred
die, what did auntie say? Freddie dis
gustedly) = Don't Freddie.-Brooklyn
Life.
Johnnie. give me an example of a
combination of meaningless phrases"
''Yes'm. A burglar proof safe stood in
fireproof block."-C Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Sentimental and-ahem-thirtv Co.
Did he say he knew me when was q
girl? ''Sweet Twenty'-oh. no! He
said he remembers you when he was
boy!-Punch
Blobbs-Wealth will not buy happi-
ness. Slobbs-Well, for my part,
think | should be happier with wealth
than with happiness without it.-phila-
delphia Record.
80 you're singing for money now,
eh?" THAT was my expectatic when
l Joined the new opera conn ~ but
find have to whistle for it. Rich
mond Dispatch
Maggie-Dat lobster, Jimmie O'Roo-
ney, don't realize wot a womans love
means! Katie-Nope; His mudder's
whaled him so much she's quecred de
hull sex!-Judge.
de man OATS allus tellin' bout what
ne used ter do or what he's gwinter
do said Uncle Eben sis usually
was,n' his time jes' at present.
Washington Star
Mrs. Galey-Percy Gadsby has had
dreadful luck at bridge, lately. Mrs.
Inswymm (eagerly)-You don't say2
Dear me! l must invite him up before
it changes.-Puck.
Mrs. Cobwlgger-Poor thing, she
tried to reform her husband and fall
ed. Mrs. Dorcas-W What is she trying
to do now? Mrs. Cobwigger-To re-
form the world.-Judge.
Bill-How much did you give up to
see the ball game? Jill-Fifty cents.
How was the gamer Neither side
scored" 'Then you didn't get a run
for your money."-Yonkers Statesman.
aren't you promising more than you
can pay?" Yes" answered the China
man. at struck me that this fact
might on occasion be offered as an ex-
cuse for not paying t."-Washington
Star.
His Busy Day.-Quarryman-Biddyl
His Wife-Phwat do We want now,
sure? Quarryman-Pour some kero-
sense on tn fire an make it hot, so OF
can thaw out me dynamite.-New York
Weekly.
Mrs. Fijit-Why doesn't Mr. Smith
ers come to our house any more? Mr..
Fijit-l can't imagine; I'm sure | al
ways tried to entertain him by the
smart things our baby does, too.-ohio
State Journal.
At the Seaside.--Alice-Pm so glad
hat you are engaged at last! Grace
Yes, George and | will be married in
September. Alice-Good gracious! You
lon't mean to marry him, do your
Brooklyn Life.
Jack-I made two calls this after
noon, and 1 must have left my umbreI-
Ia at the last place l called. Tom
How do you know but that you left it
at the first place? Jock.-Because that's
where l got it.-ScOtsman.
aren't you ashamed to go away and
cave your wife in tearsP" asked the
near relative. ooh, don't know" an
3wered the brutal man. that's the way
;he has a good time when she goes to
he theater. "-Washingto Star
my, what an untidy man." exclaimed
he fair visitor to our sanctum who
5 the one with his desk in such lit
er?' And then she was sure she was
eing jOllied when her guide said it was
he literary editor.-Ph Philadelphia Press.
First Young Thng-I am going to
wear evening dress at the party next
Second Young Thing-And
rent you looking forward TO it? First
'oung Thing-O, dear, no. The bare
dea frightens me.-SomerYile Journal
mo. don't like DR.. Thirdly" said
FRS. Kilduff emphaticalIy. Whats he
LOne?" asked Mrs. TenspOt. well he
sked all the ladies in the congregation
0 remove their hats. And it was East
r Sunday, mind you"'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The wicked, witty prodigal returned,
nd in his old manner accosted his
ather: We'll governor, I've come
ack. Are you going to kill the fatted
alf?" But the old gentleman was a
match for him and said: mo. my son,
think I'll let you live"
Taking into consideration the things
harp has had to contend against
hink his success as a lawyer has been
why. what did he ever
ave to contend against| Every
ming He came Of a wealthy family
Te didn't have to work his way
trough college. He never studied by
le light of a pine torch, never had to
rive dray never walked six miles to
,hooI. and wasn't compelled to bor-
wv his books. He had every possible
lcility and yet he has done we'll from
le start. "-Chlcago Tribune
Dom Paul a Temperance Man.