Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-05-26

3-41
u fsn chails from acrcaS <he
NJ hired 4 diddler Tor 5 cents had
"a caildren's faces washed and was
"a ready Tor tho grand event Her man
Tim scrubbed the coal dust on his face.
and his hair cut and was home an hour
ahead of time The guests were In
vited to come early and stay week,
and they began to arrive at O'Clock.
1t was proud moment in the life OF
the O'Sullivans when the procession be-
gan 70 move, and three of Tins coal
yard friends marched at the head Do
you go much in society. Mr.. Wasser-
MANI"
'vhell. goes NIT my wife to some
summer gardens once in some whites"
That's society, OF course, but not
the swaggerist sort. You ought to
have seen our crowd. If l as janitor
felt that was bigger than an alder
man, what must have been the pride
and dignity of the O'Sullivans? There
was the secondhand furniture man
and his wife, the carpet cleaner and
his wife. the fish man and his daugh-
tiers. the chair Gamer, the pawnbroker,
the secondhand clothier and dozen
others, and they were all rugged out in
their best and had their Fifth avenue
howe ond coronarc
Maybe it vhas better dan some Buff
falo Bill shows?" suggested the grocer
st beats 'em hollow, and | was go
ing around with my chest swelled out
and stepping high when suddenly re-
membered that | hadn't been invited.
Yes, sir, as true as you live had been
left out. I'D helped Mrs O'Sullivan to
arrange everything, and then she'd CIV
en- me the throwdown. I'd just felt the
jar to my feelings when l caught sight
of the Countess Divito pacing up and
down the lower hall with a stiletto IN
in her hand.
'Whata you tikna, eh?' she said to
me. Data woman give grande party
and leava me outa-me, de Countess
Divito! Ha, ha!
"And l went UP stairs and found the
colored Mrs. Torrington pacing UP and
down with razor In her hand, and she
said to me:
Janitor, Tze bin de cold snub, an
I'ze gwine to slash somebody wild dis
razor if dey don't look out
Some troubles vhas coming, eh?"
asked the grocer.
For sure. You they socially snub a
janitor with the asthma, and he is
obliged to put UP with it, but when you
socially. snub woman then beware.
saw that l would get my revenge
without mixing in. and went down to
my room in the basement and waited"
''Und did something's happen, Mr.
Sprocket?'
You bet your grocery Mr.. Wasser-
man! Yes, sir, that grand reception
wasn't an hour old when somebody
wanted to know if beer and lemonade
and ice cream and cheese sandwiches
wouldn't double up a dog. and he was
knocked down for a parvenu. That
started the row, and / sat there with
my asthma until they had broken the
windows, smashed the doors and were
larruping each other through the halls.
Then 1 sent kid out for the police,
and the patrol wagon took % of 'em
to the station at once That's what
comes of snubbing a janitor."
''Und dot party vhas broke in two?"
she was
''Und eaferpody goes to shail?"
"The whole gang"
'Und Mrs. O'Sullivan don't be in dot
swim?"
Not a swim, Mr.. Wasserman. In
stead of going to the top of society
she's dropped clear down to the foot.
or, as Mrs. Divito put it:
Data sweua lada from Ireland,
she TAXA rida in de patrol wag.'"
"Vhell, dot vhas shust how | pellet"
said the grocer as he wrapped up two
cucumbers and handed them to the
janitor. IF somepody vhas swell. he
vhas all right, but if he Wasn't swell
und can't be swell it yhas no use 10
swell around und burst himself to
pieces und get some free rides to dot
police station.