Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-11-23
- Facts and Fancies. -

- Facts and FancleS. -
l>@~~~--~~c~--~~~-~>- r~-~-~"~--~0~~-o~~~~
Charles-"Did the tailor take your
measureg' Algy-"I think he did. He
said I'd have 10 pay in advance. Tit
Bits.
In consequence of the late melancholy
accident at Kilmarnock, all the church
doors are to be made TO open outwards.
There is seldom any danger of any great
struggle to get in. says the London
Times.
II don't see why Long Jim Jones
shouldn't be happy" said the Georgia
native He's got six fddles, ten chill
dren. an moonshine still that amt
never beer spotted by the government
Atlanta Constitution.
His P1an.-"Ah," said the great foreign
actor. Il have hit on plan which will
indeed. bring me distinction. What is
t?' asked a friend. Il shall make a
farewell tour of the United States-and
/ shall not 90 back. Brooklyn Life.
Parental Cruelty-Mr. Snail-"My son,
| want to see if you can't climb to the
top of this grass-blade and back inside
OF two weeks" Mrs. Snail Gnterpos-
ing-"Husband dear. think it's wrong
TO hurry the child so"-Ohio State Jour,
nal.
And fhis one we said, indicating a
patient at the insane asylum. Hopeless
case was the reply. Thinks he has
discovered perpetual motion" And the
next one?" Still more hopeless Claims
to have solved the servant girl problem"
-Harpers Bazaar
- Il ~
told me you were never going to write
to young Hankinson again." Adelna-
He's sent me dozen letters l haven't
answered; but in his last one he left
page out, and had 10 write and ask him
what it was about. "-TiI-Bits.
The Polite Young Man-''Yes," said
the naughty young woman who was
Colonial Dame as well as a Daughter of
the Revolution, my great-great-grand-
sire fell at Bunker Hill" Ice or banana
skin?" inquired the polite young man
from Milwaukee. - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Belle PLANE (Kan.) Defender re-
marks: 'HOrseless carriages, wireless
biography, smokeless powder hOrnless
cattle, seedlesS raisinS and brainless dudes
have long been the vogue, but this year
the fad seems to have taken hold of the
farmers, all over the country, and they
have raised earless corn"
Method in Her Misunderstanding
Last night | experienced novel sensa-
ton. Miss Twillng invited me out to
dinner as her guest and insisted on or
dering and paying for everything.
wonder what she did it for!"
Claverton -" She probably wanted
something to eat."-Harlem Life.
The Other Side.-"Ah. yes"' exclaimed
the sentimental youth, woman is truly
like ivy on the ruined wall. The more
dilapidated you become the more she
clings 10 you" And ivy is like wom-
an" snarled the old bachelor: the more
she clings to you the more dilapidated
you become. philadelphia Press.
Overdid t.-Subbubs-''Yes. I used tc
have to play cribbage with the cook in
the evenings to keep her amused"
Backlotz-"And don't you have to
now?"
Subbubs- She's left. She discov-
cred that l was purposely teaching her to
win and it made her mad. Philadelphia
Press.
Mr.. Thomasson's Iesson.-''Yes," said
Mr.. T'homasson, u went home intoxi-
Gated one night about ten years ago, and
the lesson my wife taugIt made
lasting impression on my BRAIN what
did she say?' "She didn't say anything.
The lasting impression l refer to was
made by fat-iron. See that hump
Indianapolis Sun.
Mrs. Gull (angrily)-''I heard what you
said to that Miss Seamew'
Mr.. Gull-"Heard what?"
Mrs. Gull-"Heard you say just as
plain as day, Meet me at the pier, dear
est"
Mr.. Gull--""Oh, rats! You just ran IN
to one of those wireless messages from
that steamer"
Mr.. Gadd lat the police stationl-"May
| see that burglar who was arrested for
breaking into my house last night?"
Inspector (hesitatingly)-"Well, | don't
know. What do you want TO see him
abOutY
Mr.. Gadd-"Oh there's nothing secret
about it. | just wanted to find out how
he managed TO get into the house with
out waking my wife. Pearson Week
".
Bames-"Yes l guess it is true that
it is the little things that count"
Howes-"So you have come to that
conclusion. have you?"
Barnes-"Yes. You see, | was walking
with TedwOrth and he said if he should
find a million dollars he'd I'VE me half.
Presently he picked up a dime, and when
| asked him to share it with me he
abused me like pickpocket. Boston
Transcript.
Confetti Throwing at Weddings
Confetti is known to English travellers
on the continent at festive seasons of the
year. In Paris, for instance, they know
how to do their confetti-throwing harm
lessly, gracefully, and with good humOr.
1t is one Of the things they do better in
France than in England, into some quar-
tiers of which the fete day amusement
has been imported But the sport which
has inspired Canon Atkinson of Coventry