The Wichita daily eagle., 1901-06-02
Fun OF TIE woRln

comjurer then said re would turn IL into
a sovereign He Gid 50. as the peop1e
thought. and handed it round Tor them
70 see. When il reached the collier. he
cooly pocketsd Il. and said 70 the ss-
tonisbed eonjurer; -NVin ye cheenge me
anither?"
zEz
Sir Alexander Mackenzie told charac
teristic story about Sir Arthur Sullivan
in q lecture the other day While r.
haarsirg .s-rhe Golden Legend sullivan
complained 20 Mackenzie that he could
not get away from the influence ~ comic
opera. whatever he wrote. You know.
he said. when IN the Legend the So
prano comes on TO sing I an not here
10 argue. bat 70 die. I can't resist the
feeling that the chorus ought % eunerge
and sing in true comic opera fashion.
she don't come here 20 argue. bur to
de-
zEE
Once a widow 0t one of James j. Hul s
old friends applied TO the railroad presi-
dent for a small loan for the purpose ct
starting a boarding house. -Sorry. Mrs
Blank. but can't let you hsve it. be
said; but you'd better get your board
ing house started - why. Mr. Hill. how
can II I have no money" 'Dont need
money why. surely. I must pay for
the furniture No you mustn't; get
q q
rent furnish the house send bills 20
me. I'll pay 'em-sorry cant iet you have
any money. Good morning. Airs. Blank.
The following apecdOtc IS sent 90 the
London Mail hv an officer serving in the
Transvaal. where il has gone the rounds
OF the camps. II naturally lacks official
confirmation. but happily this does not
effect its merits as q story They ten
Of
about terms of peace last week. AT the
end BOtha said. Wen. I must be going
Kitchener replied: NO hurry. you haven Z
got 70 catch d train But that's just
what 7 have got 10 do said Botha- And
two days afterward a train was held 10
and looted on the Delaeoa line not very
far from the place OF meeting
x <
The youngest daughter OF Mrs. Walter
Damrosch was about finishing her pray
ers the other night when she abruptly
asked her mother 20 please leave the
room" as there was something for which
she wished 20 give extra and special
thanks. Her mother wanted 20 know
what Il was. bur the child let it be un-
derstood that il was OF too personal and
private a nature for even mother 20
know about Her mother accordingly
withdrew: but the next night when the
knowing Just what It meant "Weil.
said the little girl after much persua-
sion. Il just wanted 20 give tanks FOR
sion, II just wanted TO give thanks for
other day"
Esz
Andrew Carnegie is fond Of quoting the
witty remark made by an old friend az
his in Pittsburg. who for some time held
the record for fast horses, but was one
day beaten in a brush by a young man.
The old gentleman disappeared Tor some
time He had gone 10 Kentucky TO get a
I horse that would re-cstabIsh his supre-
macy He was being shown over stud.
and had already gone past long string
Of horses with their records on the stall
and the victories they had won. Then he
was taken through q long line Of young
horses with their pedigrees. from which
the dealer was proving what they were
going 70 do when they got on the track.
The old gentleman, wiping his forehead
for 1t was a hot day-suddenly turned %
the dealer and said: Look here. strang-
er-you've shown me have beens' and
you've let me see your 'going-tO-b be s. but
what 1 am here Tor is an User.
z x x x
In the DAYS when Barnums museum
was in the height Of IT'S popularity IN
New York, 10 was the custom OF many
people to bring their wives. children and
lunch baskets and make a day Of u. This
was not in accordance with Baruurn 8
view Of q profitable way 10 conduct a
museum. One Saturday, when the army
OF picnickers were over-crowdlng the
show and keeping others out. a brilliant
idea occurred 70 Barnum. on q huge cam
vas he painted the word "Egress' in
immense letters Of green. This he placed
over door way. and Immediately at
tractod the attention Of the crowd. which
was just about 70 settle down for lunch,
"E,gress, egress cried the visitors
"faithl that's an animal we haven {
seen "They found that animal" said
Barnum. telling the story. "out IN the
zEs
Some OF the inmates Of a Yorkshire
asylum were engaged in saving wood.
and an attendant thought that one old
fellow. who appeared 90 be working as
hard as anybody. had not much 90 show
for his labor.
Approaching him. the attendant soon
discovered the cause OF this The old
man had turned his saw upside down.
with the teeth in the afr, and was work
ing away with the back u the tool
Here 7 say. j. remarked the at
tendant. what are you doing2 youu
never cut the wood In that fashion.
Turn the saw Overt.
The old man paused and stared con-
temrtuously az the attendant
Did va iver try saw this wayl' he
asked
.'WeI. no" replied the attendant. cor
course 7 haven't"
Then. bod Thy noise mon" was the
instant re5oinder i've tried both WAYS.
7 hev and '-lmpresslvely y--"this 81 the
easiest"
sE
At seance. the other dav. when the
lights had been turned low the medium
was describing a tall. dark-cyed. hana-
some spirit with long moustaches. ard
hair parted carefully down the center.
that was lowering r1ucd "a rai1lie ased
but elderly looking man. when De burst
suddenly into tears heart rer1irE ects
shook bis thin frame.
george. Gc0rge" Pc cries. ''~hv. on.
why. did you leave ne 20 the misery C
these past yearf
.Then. you knew hirY'' asked the me-
dium
Knew him7r murmured the down-
hearted man. y saw him dany for
moushs and months oh. George be
continued why fll yen c.e
my good man. rieade3 ere rrfiua-
'.~ou rrnef ruu yourself together. In1aan
p frar g. Taa rlsf haFG Nee1 = great
one. gag rsar Vet meet arrtr.r fsIar1
rho wH fn tis ular
"sso. nor he cueI -Tls place is ssl-
-Fmel, WY what e. vaa reanr.
asEfa tnc rl 1sfr
Ee Uae uy ufa Errf faeaarf.'
Porter wright rho was aa~ra-f fr
ths eu1lcr ~ Daniel webster $3.50 fta
zrrrf frer.nrs ~r-ea fr~r~