The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-12-14

Flirtby-No. I've given up calling Oh
Miss Roxley.
Jggs-Ah! I suppose her father ha,
a hand in that.
F1irtby-We1l-er-n hand, ex
actly--Philadelphia Press.
The alarm which England is feeling
over the increasing sales of American
shoes in that country is only anothel
evidence that, in industrial matters, W.
are showing her clean pair of heels
Indianapolis News.
Attention is called to the fact that the
conscience fund is being swe1led this
year as never before. The exclamation
undoubtedly is that when times are
good the awakened conscience doesn'1
miss the cash so much.-Cleveland
| Plain Dealer.
Now, the Eminent Reformer and the
Emancipated Woman were about to be
| welded.
In fact, the ceremony was being per-
| formed.
with this ring" said the Eminent
Reformer, Il thee we'd
| Here there was a breathless hush
| Woman made a gesture of dissent, and
| exclaimed:
And this, after your campaign
| against ring rule? NeverI"
| church.
| The audience was divided in its sur
| prise over the injection of politics into
| matrimony and the sight of an Eman-
| clpated Woman weeping Baltimore
| American.
A correspondent sends a number of
| the strange messages received by
| teachers in elementary schools. Here,
| for example, is one from mother who
| objects to physical culture:
Miss Brown-You must stop teach
my Lizzie fissical torture-she needs
want her to do jumpin, I kin make her
| jump
And here are two miscellaneous
notes:
Miss B-Please let Willie home at
o'clock. I take him out for a little
pleasure to see his grandfather's
grave
Dear Teacher-PIease excuse Fritz
for staying at home-he had the mees-
ells-to oblige bis father. ''-Tit-Bits.
A poeticaI traveller, stopping at a
Georgia inn, dismounted from his horse
and called to the landlord, who was
lounging on the veranda:
"Wrinkled 'ostler, grim and thin,
Here is custom come your way.
Take my brute and lead him in
Stuff his ribs with mouldy hay!''
EFF you say that ag'in,' said the
landlord, IN lam you side the head
with this hickory. Thar's a niger here
to look after the horses"
my good man. explained the trav-
eler. sI meant no offense. I was only
quoting Tennyson to you
landord an fel bim eSfal naid s soe
Neither him nor you kin make stable
boy O. me."-Atlanta Constitution
do you know what will happen"
asked the orator in that wild, hoarse
half-whisper that is more impressive
than the loudest vociferation, IF Eng
land ever plants her foot on our pos
sessions2'
Yes huskily replied a man in the
audience. "She will raise a crop of
corns!"-Chicago Tribune.
We are threatened with that sort of
weather when Charity would rather
stay at home than get her feet wet
Atlanta Constitution.
"It is said that November fog costs
London $500 day"
That's funny"
Whats funny?"
THAT both the fog and the money
should be nlist."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
During the inquisition of the police
department on the saloon question yes
terday by the grand jury one OF the
range members made himself notable
for his persistency in asking questions.
and he went into every possible way of
violating the Sunday laws, like one who
knew the game.
member of the force who speaks a
good Scotch brogue was one of the wit
nesses. After ne had testified that he
knew nothing of the saloons being
open contrary to law, and that he had
tried several side doors without sue
cess, the inquisitive juror suggested:
You know that any one wishing to
buy a drink could get in the back door
at No. Superior street last Sunday
by knocking in certain way?"
ct did ma ken thot- 1 wish I could
ha' found somebody wi experience to
tell OF airlier,'' replied the witness.
Then some of the other jurors
smiled, but the inquisitive juror never
saw the point.-Duluth News-Tribune.
$50 the trip Sunday is to be by BIZ
cycle? But the doctor has positively
forbidden me to ride the wheel. What
shall / do2"
Nothing simpler Consult some 9TH
er hysician!"-Lustige Welt.
I patiently stood in the telephone booth.
And shouted again and again:
But although I politely appealed for a
switch,
I politely appealed all in vain
At last a strange murmur came over
the phone,
A sort of cultural, which
Convinced ne l might as well give up
the quest,
For the girl was asleep at the switch.
Portland Oregonian.
From saving comes having" but not
as quickly as it cones from grabbing
at everything in sight.
Ills deeds must win the prize I'M
less they fall into a lawyers hands
Man wants but little here below"
and that little somebody else GETS
December Era.
Marriages may be made in heaven"
he said. thoughtfully, but if SO. they're
dealing in a cheaper grade of goods up
there every year. They don't last any
thing like the way they used to."-Chi-
cago Post.
Oh, little children, now we fear
1t is about that time of year
Il. 4..=.<