New-York tribune., 1901-05-25
THE TALK or THE DAY.

A wouId-be smart commercial traveller on an
English train the other day. thinking TO tease a
Salvation Army girl asked her II she believed the
story OF Jonah and the whale.
Il don't know" she said. but when get TO
heaven III ask Jonah IL II occurred"
But" said the funny man, "supposins he isn't
thcre?"
"Then." said the girl promptly. you can ask
him
Church-Did you notice how happy, a man
looks after he has gotten outside of good square
Gotham-Yes. and l have noticed how happy a
these places which advertise a good square meal
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Rev. J. l.. Jones, of England. lectured in
Montreal the other evening on the theory that the
AngloSaXon people are the ten lost tribes OF israel
He declared that Israel was to be mother OF
nations a keeper of the Sabbath a chosen, di-
vinely protected people unconquerable. possessing
the gates of the enemies with ships in many wa
ters Could there be more perfect description of
Great Britain he wished TO know?
Easterner-why don't you build your courthouse
Westerner-Why if we did we'd have TO cut that
"'S wen ell" What of it?"
What Of it? Man alive, that's the only tree in
this neighborhood fit to lynch man on"'-(Phila-
dolphia Record
Domestic servants In Switzerland becoming
scarce as many of them emigrate to the United
States The labor bureau has applications for 1921
servants, but only 492 could be found. Servants
object to the continuous labor of housework and
to being deprived of their free Sunday.
Here's man who must pay 81 600 for having said
..Boor' to girl in the dark A fellow who couldn't
think of anything better, than that never should
out.-(Utica Herald-Dispatch.
large number of quail from the United States
arrived the other day in Sweden in good condi-
ton, and We're sent to various game preserves.
Comfort and style.-Miss Lacey-I don't feel com
Portable in this waist at all
Miss Lacey-It makes me feel uncomfortable be-
cause it's too comfortable to he good ft.-Phila-
dephia Press
A professional beggar of Budapest who died re-
Gently had amassed the very comfortable sum of
f42 000 This he bequeathed to the University of
Pressburg where he had made much money In his
early days by swndlins.
Greenng @ SshopPng PIPING with his o wife1mHere is
Mrs. Greening-Oh. nobody is wearing that this
well. what's the matter with this pece?'
oh that's too common. Everybody is wearing
it."-(Chicago News.
"One of the Wilton Academy students" says
THE Kennebec CMe) Journal has made rec
ord worth naming Miss Maud Ranger lives at n
distance of four and one-half miles from the school
building. During the three years that she has been
a member of the school she has boarded at home
driving TO and from school, has been her own
teamster and hostler through the drifting SHOWS
and cold of Maine winter and the
treacherous roads Of spring. During that time she
has been absent from the academy but three days
If she was boy she would probably be President
some day. and even as 1t is--wel, who knows what
may happen as the twentieth century rolls along?"
II understand that your boy Josiar is good deal
of an athlete, said neighbor
Yes. answered Farmer Corntossel I'm kind o.
over parallel bars an turnin' jes' for
the nun or II, m downright afeard he will work
hisset 70 death when he gifts here the farm
washington Star.