The times., 1901-06-04
Pie.

One day last week reckless young
man in New York undertook, for
wager, to eat fifteen pies in fifteen
minutes. The pie selected was the ordi-
nary cast iron, brass bound grocery ar
ticle, stuffed with canned fruit. The
pie-eater managed to keep up with the
clock till he reached the thirteenth in
stallment. when he exclaimed that the
pie was poisoned. dropped it, and went
into a fit. He spent the next day in
bed
This should be a lesson to all people
who are desirous Of doing just right
in this world, and of going 10 a happy
home in heaven afterward. II is sad
that it should be necessary to have so
dreadful an example to promote the
cause of temperance but in the in
scrutable arrangements OF Providence
such things do happen. The history Of
this man, who brought on a serious, and
perhaps fatal illness by eating too
much pie, should be a warning to all
Sunday schools and temperance meet
| ings, and a mission should be at once
established to teach the people the
| evils OF pie-eaung-
1t is Of no use to say that the man
would not have met his awful fate had
! the pie been Of good homemade crust,
| enclosing fresh fruit; we have every
reason to suppose that it was the in
| evitable consequence of his excess.
| Again, had he not been in the habit
! Of eating pie he would not have at
| tempted TO eat SO much at once, even
! for the munifcent sum Of five dollars.
| The evil began when he formed the
| dreadful habit of demanding a piece Of
apple, squash. or custard pie at dinner.
| Gradually, perhaps, he began TO crave
| his favorite Wand at luncheon, with a
glass of milk, and finally even reached
| the stage of depravity in which man
wants pie for breakfast! 1t may then
! have become necessary to this unhappy
| mans comfort to eat pie between meals,
and so, step by step, he was gradually
led to endanger his health, if not his
life, by mad debauch on fifteen pies
| a. once.
1t is more than likely that the ter
rible habit was formed in childhood.
He may have belonged to one of those
| families in which prattling infants are
encouraged 10 lisp their longing for a
piece of mothers pie and in which the
| expression good as pie" is too often
| heard Boys have been known. after
forming this unholy craving, 10 steal
! from their beds at night and sneak into
the pantry after that particular variety
Of pastry known as mince-pie; to sit in
fear and trembling, on the stairs while
| their booty was hastily devoured, and
then to retire to the company Of fear
full visions Of the night. How can such
things be prevented? How can people
be persuaded to leave lard, and flour,
| and fruit and sugar, in their pristine
and harmless condition, instead Of
! making them into a pie TO destroy the
! body and soul OF the eater at one fell
! swoop? How, except by the abolition
Of the pie itself? Let the mothers Of
the land unite and demand prohibitory
| legislation in regard to pie. Too long.
! in the rural districts, has pie been
served twenty-one times a week, to the
ruin Of the sturdy farmer and his rug
! ged sons: too long has 1t ruled su-
preme on the counter Of the dairy lunch
room. with its insidious fiye-cent tag,
and led the customer to forsake the
| healthfuI cracker and the nutritious
bowl of oatmeal. The sole CLEAN Of
light on the situation is that in sweep
ing away the canteen the advocates of
| temperance have also deprived the sol
der of pie. A beginning has been made.
Let it be followed by energetic and or
ganized effort.