davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Hasty Explanation.

"What are you doing in my house?'
demanded the owner Of the premises,
suddenly appearing on the scene in his
nightshirt and carrying a huge re-
volver.
I'm taking active steps to get out
OF It'll" replied the burglar, vanishing
through window without taking the
trouble to open it.-Chicago Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
CURIOUS FACTS.

With the exception of birds, mems
legs are longer in proportion to their
body than those of any other animal.
One thousand pounds of dough for
biscuits is rolled, cut and prepared for
baking in three hours and ffty-four
minutes by machinery, as against fifty
four hours by hand.
The production of natural vegetable
indigo, obtained by fermenting the
leaves Of the plant, 10 said to equal to-
day the entire worlds production of
other dyestuffs.
The father of all trees, so far as age
goes, 10 said to be found on the island
OF Cos, belonging to Asia Minor. A
German savsnt, whose knowledge runs
along that line, declares the tree IL not
lsss than 1900 years old.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

e. Aatley. q civil engineer In the
employ OF the Pennsylvania railroad,
has found that the Big Bald Knob,
In the Alleghenies, on the boundary
between Somerset and Bedford eoun-
ties, IL the highest peak in Pennsyl-
vania, 1t being 3,o07 feet above the
sea level
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
PsacsundIy Hn,ros-~a-

: There's no use O. sallCin'," said
Bronco Bob, "this eastern education is
splendid"
Have you visited any OF our pub
10 schoolS?"
Yes, and they are fine. That
scheme of havin' all the children hold
up their hands every time the teacher
speaks to 'em 10 great. 1t gives 'em
practical trainin' fur the real battle
of life, in which KNOWN when to
throw up both hands an doin' it In q
hurry may mean so much."-Washing-
ton Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Different Girls-

Tsss-Yes, I've accepted Jack. twas
the second time he had proposed, you
know, and
Jess-oh, he told you that, did hef
he made me promise not to say a word
about it.-Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
The ImnonaihI.

He is swfuliy NICE" she Aobbed.
but can't can't"
can't what?" queries her mother.
Give up my name of Willoughby
Tor his OF Snobkins," was the fearful
answer.-Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

Teacher-You will have to bring me
an excuse for your absence yesterday
from your father.
Willie-Aw! he amt no good on ex-
cuses; ma catches him every time
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Hope.

Mrs. Hennipeck-A few ladies' and
have formed a Universal Peace So
ciety.
Mr.. Hennipeck GENEROUSLY but
hoPefully)-Does It only concern the
different nations, my dear, or-or will
1t also extend to your individual
Observation-Disclosures.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Jest Fore Christina

OES ChEASthaS.
For Christmas. with its lots of candles
cakes and toys.
was made, they say, for proper kids, an
not for naughty boys;
So wash your face, an brush your hair. and
mind your p's and as,
ana DON bust out yer psntaloons, and
don't wear out your shoes;
Say Iessum" to the ladies, an "YessuF''
60 the men,
An when they's company. don't na.s vo,,,
plate for pie again;
But thinkin' Of the things yer'd like to see
upon that tree,
Jest fore Christmas be as good as yer hin
be!
Eugene Field, in Youths Companion.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
RELIGIOUS,

Bishop McCabe, of the Methodist
episcopal church, will sail for South
America early in January. He viii
hold several conferences in the south
ern continent before he returns.
Seventeen per cent of the popula,
Sion OF Michigan is enrolled in the
sunday schools. The average for the
states and territories of the union il
only 16 per cent.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

"This," said the freight handler, els
Q box OF feathers"
What kind of feathers?" inquired
the agent.
Tail feathers OF roosters. Shipped
from New York millinery concern out
here"
well, Just put down one box Of
Manhattan cocktails. Chicago Daily
News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
He Took Chicken.

Guest-Roast veal or roast chicken,
er? Which costs the most. The chick
ems, I suppose.
Waiter-It's all the same, air. This
Is table d'hote dinner, you know.
GUEST know, but want to get my
moneys worth.-Philadelphi Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
PaPdonabIe

Gentleman--See herei I'm not going
to pay any such rates as you charge.
Do you think I'm fool?
Cabman Observation-Disclosures else
could think, sir, when you took a
cab instead of street car?-N. Y.
Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Not n Shining Light.

MY son. I'm very sad to say"
The aged father said,
you're not rejecting credit. SIR,
Upon my hoary head"
Alas, It's true? the son replied,
But what can you expect.
Since have worn my credit cut.
And have none to reflect 2"
Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
The Coolx,, U,s,r.,r,.

Mr.. Bacon-I shouldn't think you'd
allew any of our neighbors to abuse
you in the manner L overheard some
one speaking to you in the back yard,
. little while ago, dear.
Mrs. Baccn-That wasn't any Of the
neighbors, John; that was the cookI-
YonkerS Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Gold Comfort.

"Ouchl" exclaimed Smithett, as he
Hmped across the bedroom floor, where
a new carpet had been laid; "euchl I've
ruined my footl Ouchi OuchI"
There you 60" said his wife, coldly,
always on the wrong tackl"-Chicago
Times-Herald
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
why He Cared.

Mrs. Binks-of all thingsi That
gentleman looked at your hat as we
passed, just as a woman looks at an
other woman's bonnet.
Mr.. Binks-Yes, he's the man I
bought it of. and haven't paid him.
IN. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
The Feminine Code.

Daisy-Oh, yes, she wrote him that
they must part forever and ever, but
she did not mean it.
Dolly-How do you know?
Daisy-Because abe did not under
score it, you silly.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Dead. Indeed

Good morning, Mr.. Cassidy" said
the undertaker's humorous friend, ''I
suppose business is dead with your"
Faith, it is So" replied Cassidy, with
great seriousness, 81 haven't buried
4 5Vin' soul for nearly = month";
Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
No Material D,0eraro.

Yeast-You say you've tried homeo-
pathic and allopathic doctors?
Crimsonbeak-Yes, both.
did you find any difference?"
No; the bills seemed to be just about
the same. "--Yonkers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

Cobwigger-Howell says the women
read books while the men read tho
papers.
Merritt-That accounts for the fact
that the popular novel changes as
often as the fashions.-Judpe.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
AT I.naf

There's trouble at the boarding house,
There's blood upon the moon.
The bold, bad. base monopolists
Have cornered the festive prune!
Chicago Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
A Mntt-r of Conidence.

"How did he acquire the reputation
Of being such brilliant man?" in
quired one voter.
by means of his convincing man
ncr," answered the other. "He got
people to believing that he thorough
ly understood his own arguments and
they regarded him al genius
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

My silent Love.
My love is lying still,
My love has gone to rest:
Her hands are lightly crossed
Upon her gentle breast
Tread Softlyi Whisper low,
While my vigil keep
My leve is nine months old!
How sweet she is--asleepl
Chicago Times-HeraId.
Lucky.
Young Burgla--These spoons amt
silver. They are the cheapest kind O.
imitation.
Old Burglar-That's lucky.
"Lucky?''
Eyes. TSke 'em along"
NWhat for?"
THE lady of the house will be afraid
to set the detectives after us, lest
they should find them spoons an de.
scribe 'em in tn papers IN. 4.
World.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Able Ffuaucfexsnw

Grocer--Wsll, little one, what can I
do for your
Jenny--Please, sir, mamma says will
you change q dollar for her and she'll
give you the dollar to-morrow.-N Y.
World
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Probably.

"who was it said that charity begins
ut homer"
Il suppose II was some one who didn't
want to contribute."-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Sultan Is the Lucky PLAYER.

The sultan of Turkey imagines him
self sport. Lately he has developed
q passion for playing cards for money.
and the man who is unfortunate
enough to win the sultan's money In
ours his enduring dislike. Public Of
hcials permit him to win, and thus
save their places.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Looked Thatway.

Jaggles-Do you really think he
committed suicide?
Waggles-Well, he ate mushrooms
he gathered himself.-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
A Timely Innovation

Jack lat club window)-There goes
Jenkins with his auto. and I'll be
bowed if he hasn't tiger up behind.
George-Tfger nothing! That's the
repair man.-Brooklyn Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Ice Cream I'm the ArctIc..

A favorite dish with the Eskimo is
an ice cream made of seal oil, into
which snow is stirred until the desired
consistency has been obtained; then
frozen berries of different kinds are
added. This decoction is about as
tempting 60 the civilized palate "a
frozen cod-liver oil
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Haudtcapped.

Tibbs, never hear you make any
fun of your wife's cooking"
well, no; you see, she belongs to
90 many cooking clubs that I do q
good deal of the home cooking my
sell. polls journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

MY DEAR" he said, with an ill-con-
cealed ring of relief in his voice, "dia-
monds have gone up nearly so per
cent. So find the earrings I prom
ised you will cost more than I can af-
ford"
"Ol" she criesl. 'sisn't that too ttdl"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

They say the barber looks like me-"
Said Mr.. NewEweddsd.
THE only likeness can see
IS that We're both baldheaded."
-Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

II suppose you'll be telling people
that I'm a fool"
mo, dear. There are some things
we must keep to ourselves. "-Chicago
Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

mule"
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum.
the trouble about him Is that hs
hasn't as much pull as = mule-n-
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
Too HnIIrntiu.

Willie-Just one more question, pa.
Our Sunday school teacher SAW I'm
made of dust. Am IP
Pal guess not. If you were
you'd dry up once in awhiie.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

Mrs. Wabash-Lobsters never did
agree with me.
Mrs. Dearborn-And yet you married
one.-Yonkers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

Suppose had to run this earth
Just half a minute? s
I'd probably get ratified then.
And backward spin 1t. Saw.
I'd likely mix UP sun and air
In darkness Sc her;
I'm glad the Lord stiIl holds the lob:
He'll do 1t better
s. s. Kiser. in Chicago Times Herald
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

Prof. Thumper-Ah, Mr.. Skinlint,
your daughter is so clever that it is
y pleasure to teach her music.
Ma .S1xirAainf,-A nlaax..a,A IN . VIII
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
winning n Reputation,

he wouldn't run IN debt,
And SO the people said IL
Was for the reason that
Ne man would give him credik
Chicago Times-Heralc.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
eyes, TIM very sorry

80 am I, dear. It's shame that
you'll have to pay more than you can
afford. "-Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26
lacked an ATTRIBUTE.

then, I s'pose / don't have to pay you
Cor .it.--N. Y. Journal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1901-01-26

That politician Is as stubborn as :
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26
Venezuelan Troubles.

Wiliemstadt, Island of Curacao, Dutch
West Indies, Jan. -, via Haitien cable
The United States auxiliary cruiser Seor,
pion, Lieutenant Commander Sargent COM
handing, has just arrived here on her way
to Guan4ea, Venezuela, the nearest port 20
the scene OF trouble between the rival
asphalt companies. She recently Left la
GuayTa tthe port of Caracas and brings
the latest news of the Venezuelan troubles.
The situation is described as being serious.
1t Is said the emphatic protests of the
government at Washington have been de
fed and bloodshed at the lake Of the Ber-
muda asphalt company was feared. The
most hot headed Of the foreigners in Vene-
zuela go as far as to say that if the Wash
ington authorities do not take steps 20 pro-
tect American citizens now, all foreigners
may as well leave the country. The Oirieers
OF the Scorpion are quoted as saying that
the diplomatic corps at Caracas is unani-
nous on this point, as are all foreigners.
They admit, however, that the United
States minister at Caracas, Francis B.
LOOMS, is working vigorously in eito:ts to
arrange matters.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26

West Point, n. ", Jan, 2l.-rhs con
gressional investigation Of the Wtst Point
military academy has borne fruit rather
unexpectedly. When ths congressman
were hurying their inquiries to a termlh'
alton, the cadets OF an four classes held a
meeting IN Grant hall and unanimously
decided TO abolish hazing Of every form, as
well as the practice Of ealing OUT fourth
class men. This is exactly what General
Dick and other members OF the congress
ional committee have been trying TO lui-
press ON the cadets who have testified be-
fore him as the only course open 10 them
il they desifed to see the fair name OF the
United States military academy Unsallied
and above reproaeh.
The communication was addressed TO
Superintendent A. l.. Mills, who returned
from Washington this afternoon, and he
quickly brought it to General Dick. The
are delighted at the ae-
tion Of the cadets and General Dick, IN a
few words, said that they would all 20
back To the house Of representatives be-
lieyiug that in spirit and letter the agree
ment would be firmly adhered to by the
cadets, who made it voluntarily.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26

Paris, Jan. 22.-The annual banquet and
meeting Of the american chamber Of con,
nerce in Paris was held last Sat
urday night. There was large
attendance. Henry Peartree, Tresi
dent of the chamber, occupied the Chair
William Seligman and United States Con
sui General Gowdy were the only speakers,
the former replying to toast to the
FraneO-Ameriean relations. Mr.. Gowdy.
IN the course Of his remarks, produced zig
ures showing an increase in exports from
France to the United States in 1900 Of &,
100000 francs over those of 1899. Com.
PIring the exports for the years 1904 to
1895, inclusive, with those OF 1898 to 1900
inclusive, he showed that there had been an
increase for the latter period Of $1,000 900
francs.
Mr.. Peartree voluntarily reIinquished
he presidency Of the chamber after his long
term of service and Francis Kimball and
Henry Caeherd were elected president and
vice president
Just as the banquet was breaking up
Consul General Gowdy asked those present
to raise their glasses, but not to drink, as
an expression Of hope for the recovery Of
the health Of Queen Victoria. All respond
ed, standing silently with their glasses up
raised for an instant.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26
NeeIey 90 he rrled In cuha.

New York, Jan. 22.-Judge Laeombe in
the United States circuit court signed an
order vaeating the order OF arrest in the
civil suit against c. r W, Medley, undei
which he was held in $4,000 bail The
motion was made by John Lindsay, counsel
for Medley, and United States Attorney
Burnett. Later they appeared before
United States Commissioner Shields and
moved for dismissal of the case oeiore
him ON the charge Of stealing of postottiee
funds. He was arrested on this charge in
May last. Medley deposited 10000 cash
BAH with the clerk OF the court ami was
released. The money is still held by the
clerk, but it has been attached on behalf
OF the government Medley is now in Lud.
low street Jail on an order OF arrest issued
under special extradition act, passed June
Q last. Judge Laeombe ordered that ne be
sent back to Cuba for trial An appeal
was taken to the United States supIeme
court, which recently confirmed the decis.
ion OF the lower court. Medley win remain
in the custody OF United States Marshal
Henkel until after formal order has been
received from the state department al
Washington directing his return to Cuba.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26
Work and Worry
Wreeh shs RsAlth % Many . noase-
wifs-rhs story % Ons womAn,s
rriAls and Kew she Over
came Them.
Nvn tAs POst cOumsia ca. ma

came Thsna.
Rtsn ts Post CSsumssa CO. ma
The every day drudgery OF the house
vile 10 extremely wearing upon her
sensitive and frail nature.
Many are prematurely broken down
In health. their cherished hopes blasted.
their hOme-life unhappy, because Of
the constant care and worry OF house
work.
That home Is indeed fortunate In
which the wife is in perfect health and
able to do her own work. In fact such
. homo is a rarity.
Mrs. George Heaton. who lives near
Columbia City, Ind, says,
During tbs early part Of the winter
Of 1899 We had great deal Of sick.
ness in the family. and 1t being impos-
sible to md q suitable girl TO do my
homework. had 20 do ConsidsSa BILE
extra. My daughter and two sons
were confined to their beds with the
grip.
''I had q great many clothes 20
wash. and | did the washing In the
summer kitchen. adjoining our regula r
one. without any fir0. As q result I
was attacked with sciatic rheumatism.
At first ! did not give much heed to 1t.
rs kept growing worse. however.
and in the course OF two or three
months was unable to do any work.
By this time my daughter had recov-
cred sufficiently TO get along very we'll
with the homework.
"One night my husband was gone
from homo over night on business, and,
my daughter being overburdened with
work, concluded to milk the COWS.
which | did much against her wishes.
My limbs were so badly affected that
! could hardly get to the barnyard, and
my hands and fingers vera in such q
condition that it was with great di1i.
Guilty that used them.
II was worse than ever after this,
and was confined TO my bed for more
than ten weeks.
'It seemed that every muscle In my
body panied me, and my condition was
. critical one. The ply sican failed to
benefit me, and / became discouraged.
81 was prevailed upon to try DR..
Williams Pink Pills for Pale People,
which l did with wonderful results.
They began helping me at once, and
when l had taken five boxes was
cured.
my appetite is again good. lost nssh
has been restored. spent the sum-
mer in the best OF health, and can now
do as much work as ever. have
recommended DR.. Williams Pink Pills
far Pale People to . number Of my
neighbors, who are also using them
with satisfactory results"
At druggists or direct from Dr.. vii.
hams Medicine Co.. Schenectady, n.
Y, so cents per box. or ak boxss for
$2.50.
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26
III HIPS tVtRlONt
o. N. Moore. an Old Newspaper
Man and His Work.
MANAGES 4 BUREAU or IMPORTATION


For tive years Seattle has sustained
q Bureau OF Information in addition to
it, excellent Chamber of Commerce.
II Is called the Puget Sound Bureau
Of Information. and it might reasona.
bly be supposed that its ield Is limited
20 the Puget Sound ooantry-or % still
eloaer hmits-the city OF Seattle. from
whose business men the bureau gets its
support. But the bureau il organised
on broader grounds and has made its
held the entire state of Washington
and Alaaka--on their merits. and never
In odious comparison with any Of its
sister coast states.
The work of the bureau.ia little I'M
derstood. even by its home people, and
apparently much less by the other
cities of the commonwealth. IL has
formerly and usually been the custom
of all cities oil the Northwest to stand
on their own resources and probahili-
ties, allowing all others to do the same
though generally subject 90 contsn.
tton for supremacy. The Bureau OF In.
formation was organized ON the broad
platform that whatever hslps the
state, helps the leading city thereof, :"
and its works have been governed ac-
cordingly. Its secretary, o. Nj.
Moore, being q newspaper man Of con-
siderable experience. and last year the
president OF thu Washington State
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1901-01-26

Press Association, has practically had
the management OF the bureau In his
hands. Most OF his work has been in
the direction OF furnishing Washington
and Alaska eorresondencs To Eastern
and Southern papers-sending from
so to $50 letters per week. Mr.. Moore
Is a conservative writer. believing that
even less than the whole truth about
the advantages OF the Pacific coast
states IL much better than oyerstating
things. Among his latest contribu-
tions may be mentioned illustrated
articles on The Climate OF Washing
ton, THE Puget Sound Route to the
Orient and Alaska" and another on
''Paget Sound and Sound Cities. 4"
The Bureau OF Information has several
publications descriptive Of the Great
Northwest-the latest q paper called
The New Northwest" 30, 900 copies,
~ pages. It's different publications
and other expenses, under the present
secretary, have aggregated a matter OF
$500 per month for nearly 20 months
"a total OF about $4,000. OF this
sum less than 5000 has come from the
general pubIic-the bulk having been
provided by less than half dozen en-.
terprising Seattle firms.
Chas. L. Denny, Of the Denny. Blaine
Land Co., and son Of the old pioneer,
the late A. A. Denny, has been the
financial head Of the bureau since June,
1899
The bureau desires the cooperation
Of all the cities OF the state Tor more
effective work, and is about to publish
0 handsome album OF 1000 views Of
Washington and Alaska, 20 Be placed
In public libraries. hotels, railway
cars, and for distribution at tho Pam
American exposition aE Buffalo, May
to November, 1901. IL IL expected that
every section OF the state will DO rep
resented in this album.
The newspapers OF Washington, e.
pscially. should be on good terms with
Secretary Moore and the bureau, aud
through these every community should
be brought within the scope OF tho
good work Of the Bureau OF Informa.
ton.
10 may be mentioned in this conneo.
ton, for the convenience OF Washing
ton newspaper men, that the Seattle
representative OF the American Type
Founders Company Is located with the
Bureau Of Information, in room o.
COlman block, First Avenue, between
Colum bia and Marion streets. He IL
the genial o. X. Ball - iacetioualy
known to the craft rs Hi Ball."