davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
How He Ruined His Chances.

In an East Water street wholesale
house a clerk was busily engaged over
a big book when man who had
come in Yer softly approached him.
says the Milwaukee Sentinel. DO you
want any half-soling done?" he asked.
The clerk looked up in surprise.
Why do you ask"
We'll. sir. if your shoes need it we
can half-sole them and have them
back here in an hour and it will cost
you only 50 cents
Take my shoes away. I guess not!'
ooh, that's all right. I've got a
pair here that you can wear.
Let's see them
The man unrolled from a sheet Of
newspaper two very large shoes, Now,
you give me your shoes and Ill have
them half-soled and back here in less
than no time" he said.
AS his shoes really needed the re-
pairs the clerk took them off and put
on the pair taken from the newspa-
per. They were at least number II,
but that made little difference as he
did not have to go out until evening.
Within two minutes after the shoes
had been taken away the clerk be-
gan saying to himself; by George,
I never thought of it. That fellows
possession of my shoes"
Just then the door opened and two
young women stepped in. One was a
relative of the senior partner. The
clerk jumped from his stool to go for
ward to meet them and as his feet
struck the floor he remembered the
shoes and hesitated.
The young woman he knew smiled
and beckoned to him. He moved a
waste basket in front of his feet and
bowed in return. Come here" said
she. Where's uncle?'
He hasn't returned from lunch"
he replied without moving.
Il want to leave a message for him.
Come here a moment"
There was no help for it. He came
from behind the waste basket and the
two girls shrieked in concert.
He tried to laugh, but couldn't. Sent
the shoes out, you know, to have some
slight repairs underwriting these in
meantime" he explained, and they
went into another spasm of laughter,
after which he was introduced to the
other young lady, who had taken the
unwarrantable liberty of laughing at
him before she made his acquaint-
ance.
The young women went away soon
after. still laughing, and he shut
fed back to his desk thoroughly mis-
cradle realizing that he had made HIM
self ridiculous. Then another clerk
looked into his compartment and saw
the shoes.
did you let that fellow take your
shoes?" he asked. We'll, you're a
sucker
He believed it, and was wondering
if he could get home without crowd
following him as if he were a museum
freak, when the shoe repairer put in
an appearance. He brought back the
shoes, nicely half-soled, and in return
received the pair warranted to fit
any customer" incidentally stating
that he should be around occasionally
to solicit work.
You needn't come" said the clerk.
you've already ruined my pros
poets"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

A poet whose lines never would scan
was summoned before the King and
commanded to show cause why he
should not be put to death, says the
San Francisco Examiner.
III your ear is imperfect" said the
King. you could count your sylIa-
bles on your fingers, like an honest
workman"
May your majesty outlive your
prime minister by as many years as
remain to you" said the poet reverent-
ly. 81 do count my syllables. But
observe, my left hand lacks a finger
bitten off by a critic"
Then" said the King, why don't
you count on the right hand?"
'Alas!" was the reply of the poet,
as he held up the mutilated left, that
is impossible-there is nothing to count
with 1t is the forefinger that is lack
ing"
Unfortunate mani" exclaimed the
sympathetic monarch. I'VE must make
your limitations and disabilities imma-
terial. You shall write for the mag
az!neS."
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
A Cool Irfshmau.

A little Irishman. smoking a short
clay pipe, entered the crowded inn of
a market town, walked up to the bar.
elbowed several customers aside, took
match from the match-stand on
the counter, and then walked out with
out saying d word, says the Scotch
man.
The astonished barman gazed after
him and wondered who he was. The
very next morning the little Irishman
walked into the very same place, lit
his pipe and then made his way out
again. AS he reached the door the bar
man called after him: Il say, who are
you?"
The Irishman turned round and said,
You know me-" and then went out.
Next day. at the same time, he came
again, helped himself to a match as
usual, and lit his pipe. He was just
walking off when the barman caught
him. Who are your" asked the bar
man.
"Oh, you know me-" replied the Irish
man. mo, l don't" said the barman.
who are you?" Why" was the cool
reply. I'm the man that comes in
here to light his pipe every morning.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Had Sir Thomas Upton lifted the
Americas cup, as he so confidently ex-
pected to do, it was his intention to
sail his trim 90-footer around the har-
Dor and nearby waters of New York
dressed in a beautiful set of emerald
green sails, which he brought from
England. The joke that did not ma
terialize leaked out to-day, says the
New York Letter of the Philadelphia
Times. Laborers in the Robins yards,
at Brooklyn, discovered in the mass of
burned sails above the carpenter shop,
where they were stored, pieces Of green
canvas. On examining them closer
they discovered that they were a set
of sails for Shamrock II. Then the
story behind them came to light. Had
he won the first two, or two out of the
first three races, Sir Thomas intended
to sail the Shamrock II in the green
sails in the third and decisive race,
which he expected to result in his fav-
or. The sails, it was said, had never
seen the light of day, having been bent
and stretched at night, while the
Shamrock lay in the horseshoe" at
Sandy Hook. When the secret of the
green canvas came out to-day there
was lot of mirth among the men at
work in the yards.
1T would have been a glorious
sight" said d Scot who was among
the men at work in the yards, but I
don't think any of us will ever see
any green sails on boat built on the
other side"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
rooR FOUNDATION FOR A STATE.

In the opinion of Gen. Chaffee, the
task of fitting the Filipinos for self
government. which this country has
undertaken, is a herculean one. The in
ference from what he says is that it
cannot be accomplished.
In a review of number of court
martial cases he says: History affords
no parallel of a whole people thus
practically turning war traitors, and in
the genius of no other people was ever
found such masterful powers of secre-
cy and discrimination, but it is needless
to say that no powerful state was ever
erected or ever can be erected upon
such immoral and unenlightened foun-
dations."
Testimony like this ought to cause
Congress to hesitate in the course it
is pursuing long enough TO decide
whether it is wise to continue the eff
fort to raise the Filipinos to a higher
plane of civilization. 1t is evident that
if the experiment is continued the cost
to this country is going to be very
great, if measured only in dollars. If
the dangers which threaten our insti-
tutions from holding the islands as
colonies, together with the corruption
which the possession of colonies is GER
tain to introduce into our political life,
are taken in account, it is difficult to
imagine what the cost will be.
1t is evident now that large mill
tary force will be required in the ISL
ands for many years. The cost of main
tanning this force, together with the
cost of a civil government, will be far
greater than the revenue that will be
collected and the value of the trade the
United States will get combined.
The suggestion has been made time
and time again that by educating the
Eilipinos they-can-he made te under
stand American institutions. and that
then they win be satisfied with Ameri-
can rule. AS matter of fact there are
many highly educated Filipinos, and,
If we understand Gen. Chaffee they
are the ones he had in mind when he
made the foregoing criticism. The civ
ilized as we'll as the uncivilized are I'M
reliable and treacherous, and 1t seems
the belief Of those who have been
brought into contact with them is that
they will remain so.
In the light of the knowledge we
have of the Filipinos, it is not too
much to say that it was an unfortun-
ate day for us when we came into
possession Of the Philippines. They will
be an issue. between the two great po-
liticaI parties as long as we retain
them, and that will make it difficult to
pursue a settled policy in legislating
for them. Gen. Chaffees short criti-
statesmen something to think about.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
THE MORNING NEWS is published

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and served to
subscribers in the city, or sent by NAH,
at 20 cents a month. $500 for six
months. and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
times a week (without Sunday issue),
three months, $3.50; six months, $500;
one year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week CNIonday and Thursday, by mall
one year, $1.o0.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order. check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading no
tees, an1usements and cheap or want
column, 10 cents a line. Fourteen lines
of agate type-equal to one inch in
depths the standard of measure
ment. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at business
Office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place OF
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 30. Any irregular1ty in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad
dressed ''MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City. H. c. Faulkner, Man
= 1Rpr.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
BRIGHT BITS.

EFF you mus resk yoh money
said Uncle Eben, don shoot craps.
Save it up an put it in de stock mar
ket, whah de police ain takin' no no
tice. Washington Star.
-She-"What was his father, any
way; do you know" He-"Yes;
why?" He told me his father was
a skipper" That's right. He was a
bank cashier. "-Philadelphia Record.
-Proprietor-"Our new
editor is evidently a walking blue
book. Where did you discover her?'
Manager-"She used to be employed
at Bradstreet's agency. Town and
Country.
-Discreet-Jay-"Yes, sir, when I
was in New York a sharper robbed
me of $50" Hay-"Why didn't you call
a policeman" Jay-"Well, I thought
$50 was enough to lose. "-Philadelphia
Press.
up to Papa-"Children," said the
father, facing the ordeal manfully,
"this is your new mamma" WAS
that the best you could do. papa?"
asked the youngest, casting a critical
eye on the new member of the fam
ily.-Chicago Tribune.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Special Notlces-For Christmas, John
Funk: Ship Notice, Williamson &
Rauers; Christmas Things. M. S. Gard
ner; Christmas Dinner, San Francisco
Restaurant.
Business Notices-Gelatine, Trapani
& Branans; Fruit Cake, A. M. & c.
w. West; We Defy Competition on
Candy. Belsinger & Gross; Wine List
the S. w. Branch Co; Fancy Turkeys,
Branch's Branch.
Too Many Pianos-McArthu & Sons
Co
Florida Oranges-At MINISTER'S.
Overcoats-B. Fl. Levy & Bro.
Christmas Presents-The Globe Shoe
Company.
Legal Notices-In the Matter of e.
F. NibIack
Proposals-U. S. Engineers Office,
Tampa, Fla.
Holiday Goods Must Go-Eckstein's.
Let Us Whisper of Gifts-M. Dryfus.
Watches-Waltham Watches.
Neckwear, Suspenders. Gloves. Etc
Metropolitan Clothing Company.
Baldwin Melville Com
pany To-day and Night at the Theater.
Baking Powder-Royal Baking Pow
der.
Mineral Water-Hunyadi Janos.
Medical-Tutt's Pills! Browns Bron-
chial Troches: Blood Wine; Crossman's
Specific Mixture
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted. Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale; Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

This is picture of Mr.. Geo. A. Carter,
one of Worcester's leading business men
and power in the industrial life of
Massachusetts,, who SAYS;
Il am much pleased to be able to give
my testimony as to the worth and cura.
i've properties of Blood Wine Having
used this remedy for more than year. I
an truthfully say it is the best medicine
have ever used for the blood l would
,ot be without it at any price. After us
ng the first bottle l was greatly bene,
tied, and my entire system seemed re-
lewed with energy, health, and strength
before l had finished my second bottle.
can heartily and conscientiously recon,
mend it for old or young as being a rem
'dy that will not disappoint you"
You should try this great medicine,
you will feel the effect of it the moment
it strikes the stomach. "Blood Wine"
contains no wine or opiates. 1t is not
temporary relief but an everlasting cure.
''Blood Wine'' costs fifty cents bottle,
but you can sample it free of charge at
Lipman Bros. drug store.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
A Modest Hero.

An officer in one OF the English vol
unteer regiments, who had made him
self exceedingly unpopular with the
men. was coming home one evening.
when lac slipped and fell into deep wa
ter. He was rescued with great diff
Guilty by a private In his own regi-
ment. SAYS the Youths Companion.
The officer was profuse in his ex-
pressions of gratitude, and asked his
preserver how he could reward him.
The best way" said the soldier. lis
TO say nothing about TT
But Why asked tho officer I'm
ma-emeut.
Because was the blunt reply. III
the other fellows know I'd pulled you
out they'd chuck me in
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Gen. William f. Perry, whose death
day or two ago at Bowling Green,
KY was recorded in our dispatches.
was one of the few remaining brigadier
generals of the Confederate army. He
was a native Georgian. having been
born in Jackson county, this state, in
1928. At the age of 10 he moved, with
his parents, to Alabama, where he
was reared and educated and where he
lived until the breaking out of the
war. He was engaged in many of the
great battles of the war. and was on
the firing line when Lee surrendered.
After the war he made his home in
Kentucky. where he was honored po-
litieally and otherwise.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
RED NOSE.
Sure Sign Of Bad BlOOd-Can
Be Cured with Blood Wine.
Many of our Citizens Thus Afflicted
Are Obtaining Wonderful Results
from this Great Remedy.

Red nose, red, flushed face, pmplv
skin, sallow complexion, and sores ali
belong in the same class, known as dis.
eases OF the blood. There is really no
excuse for person suffering with these
distigurements, because the proper treat.
ment brought to bear on the blood viii
quickly correct them. BLOOD WineD
cures disease by wol king on the blood.
1t makes new blood and extracts from il
The poisonous matter that create sores
etc. 1t literally permeates the blood
with new life. 1t causes redness of the
skin to gradually disappear and the tint
of health to return. 1t makes sores. Ill
GERS and pimples dry up and fade awav.
Its action on the bio cd is never falling.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Marconi, the wireless telegraph man,
is engaged TO be married to a charm
Ing Indiana girl of the name of Hol-
man. Recently it was announced that
the wedding would take place within
the next month or two. Now, however,
the announcement is made that the
marriage has been postponed because
Marconi is so busy with his invention
that he hasn't time to spare to get
married.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

In Omaha recently Mr.. and Mrs.
John Welledge quarreled. There was
nothing so very strange about that
since they had done it before. But
after this particular quarrel John went
TO his room and locked the door. In
a few minutes his wife heard the re-
port of a pistol shot, followed shortly
by the falling of a heavy body. Nat
urally she was frantic, supposing that
her husband had committed suicide.
Selling an AK she rushed to the room
and battered down the door. AS she
entered the room, instead OF finding
John lying on the floor weltering in
his life's blood as he should have been,
she found him sitting on the side Of
the bed, laughing outrageously because
his practical joke had worked so well.
The disappointment was more than
Mrs. Welledge thought she was called
upon to stand so she applied to the
court for divorce And the court
agreed with her that a husband had
no right to practice any such decep-
ton upon his wife, and granted her
petition.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
GENEROUS SENATOR FRYE.

1t will not be denied that Senator
Frye is a generous homogeneous with
the nations money-when. it is gener-
ally understood that the bill which he
introduced into the Senate the other
day, authorizing the President to in
vite the King of Siam to visit this
country, provides that the visit shall
be entirely at the expense of the United
States. 1t is not even suggested that
efforts shall be made to limit the num-
Der of those who may accompany the
King or that free steamship and rail-
road passes shall be obtained when
ever it is possible to get them.
If the bill stated the amount that
Congress should appropriate for the
entertainment of His Majesty and his
travelling companions and servants it
would he possible to form an opinion
as to whether the Senator proposed
this visit for reducing the surplus or
was working in the interest of certain
manufacturers who seek to find a mar
ket for their products in Siam.
1t is said that our minister at the
Siamese capital informed the State
Department that if the government
would invite the King to visit the
United States Americans would be
able, through the Kings influence, to
get numerous contracts for bridges,
sewers and perhaps railroads and vari-
Gus other things. 1t seems, therefore,
that the bill has a purely commercial
basis. The King is to be wined and
dined and his travelling expenses paid
by the taxpayers of this country in Or
der that certain of our manufacturers
may have an additional market in
which to sell the products of their fac
tories and certain Americans may get
contracts in Siam.
If Senator Frye's bill becomes a law
we shall see some high old times in
this country in the way of entertain
ments. With everything paid for by
the government, champagne will flow
like water. The extravaganza of a
congressional funeral will be nothing
to that which will be witnessed in the
efforts to make the King of Siam feel
that he is in the hands of friends. It
will be said that it is but seldom that
the nation has the opportunity to en-
terrain a King and that the occasion
should be made memorable. Senator
Frye has found a way to get rid Of
some of the surplus, whether he was
hunting for one or not.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

IN Topeka the public schools are
opened with the Lords Prayer. The
other day a lO-year-old boy refused to
take part in the opening exercises en-
bodying the prayer and in consequence
was expelled. The chud's father has
brought law suit for the purpose or
oscertaining II it IS within the power of
the authorities to compel participation
in religious exercises at public school.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
The weather.

The indications for Georgia to-day
are fair weather, rising temperature,
slight north to northeast winds, becom-
ing variable; and for Eastern Florida,
fair weather, light northerly winds, be-
coming northeasterly.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Philippine Commissioner Taft seems
to be in. great demand in Ohio. There
is now talk of running him for the
Senate to succeed Foraker. Senator
Hanna is said to be friendly to the
Taft boom, for the reason that he
would like to get rid OF Foraker.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

In two moves President Roosevelt
can have a monosyllabic cabinet. With
the exception of Hitchcock and Will
son, all of the cabinet ministers are
men with one-syllable names.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

The latest trust projected is in rub
Der shoes. If reports are to be credited,
there are several political trusts that
have been in rubber shoes for quite a
while
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

The telephone is only twenty-five
years old. Persons not yet in middle
life can remember with what open
mouthed establishment they read the
tales of the transmission Of the hui
man voice over miles of wire quar-
ter of a century ago. 1t was all like
a fairy story out of book of impos-
sibilities. But the telephone no longer
excites comment or more than passing
interest. We simply say that it is
marvellous, and let it go at that. The
instrument itself, by the way, is hardly
more marvellous than the growth OF
the telephone business during the
twenty-five years of telephone life. Last
year, according to the Electrical Re-
view, the amount of money invested
in the telephone industry was not less
than $500, 900 900, all manufacturing ana
operating corporations included. The
number of calls last year approx
mated three billions. There are about
1000, 900 miles of wire used by the vari-
Gus companies, and more. than 5O,OOV
people employed. 1t is estimated that
the value of the annual production OF
telephones and telephone apparatus IS
between $50, 100000 and $4,000, 600. And
the Electrical Review says that the
telephone situation is only at the ne-
ginning of an extended growth
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Two or three days ago the dispatches
reported that three car loads Of Ala
hama negroes had been sent to Nova
Scotia TO work in the furnaces. 1t was
added that It was mot known whether
the emigration will be continued or
not" Midwinter Is hardly a propitious
time 20 take Alabama negroes 10 Nova
Scotia, where zero weather for months
~ time Is nothing uncommon. The
Alabama negro is a creature Of sun
shine and summer weather and one
season OF Nova Scotia frigidlty viii be
about all he win care 10 stand.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

A pleasant incident in the Virginia
Senate "a day or two ago was the pre-
sentation TO that body OF Miss Mary
Mildred Lee, a daughter Of Cen Rob
ert r. Lee. Following the introduc-
ton. the Senate took a recess Of nve
minutes during which Miss Lee held
an informal reception.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

1t is the understanding that Richard
Croker had Fitzhugh Lee In mind
when he said that Schley and South
ern man who had taken part In the
war with Spain would make a good
Democratic ticket for 1904 Gen. Lee
would, indeed, have the enthusiastic
support Of the South and the conf
dence Of the Democrats of the North
But it would probably be u very good
thing TO keep the Schley controversy
making a partisan question of it.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Representative Beidler of Ohio has
introduced bill to authorize the gov
eminent TO kill all the seals on the
Pribilov Islands and sell their skins for
the benefit of the national treasury.
This step is suggested because it has
been found impossible to stop pelagic
sealing in Boring sea, in consequence
of which thousands of young seals are
annually starved 10 death by reason
Of the killing Of their mothers. The
late Representative Dingley introduced
a similar bill several years ago.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21
FACTS

DO you realize that you can sava
from % per cent to 40 per cent. by
having the Royal Tailors make your
clothes? suits to your order $3.50 ana
up. Ovcrcoats to order 1890 and up
MCDONALD g. sTEINBERG.
1l5 Broughton 81 East
The Savannah morning news., 1901-12-21

Almost every old person has a. rule
for longevity. Some of them say don't
use alcoholic liquors or tobacco; others
say they have drunk and smoked and
chewed all their lives, and recommend
the indulgences. Some again say the
right thing to do is to go to bed early
and get up early, while others rub the
century mark after years of late hours
both out of bed and in bed. Among the
multitude of recipes, however, there IS
probably not one more simple and SEN
-sftte -ttfffan-that given by ninety-two
year old woman of New York. She
gives the credit of her age and health
to cheerfulness and industry. She has
always refrained from worry and tried
to be in a good humor, and at the same
time she has found something for her
hands and mind to do.