davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
CIOseness Personified.

There's Il good story told on a young
fellow here noted for his closeness. He
went to spend the night with a friend.
During the entire night he betrayed
much restlessness, which kept the host
wide awake, and finally the slumberer
betrayed signs of violent emotion.
Hes going to have a nightmare" said
the friend, but he always grumbles so
when you wake him up that l hate to
disturb him" He waited awhile lon
ger, sitting up in bed staring on the
miserable sleeper, and finally, becom-
ing alarmed, lac reused him. He sprang
up in bed, glared wildly around and
said: "Where am |? | don't see the
storm"
"Why, here in my room." said the
host soothingly. You remember you
staid all night with me? | beg your
pardon for waking you up, but you car
ried on so had to-"
BEG your pardon" gasped the guest.
81 shall never be grateful enough to
you. | dreamed | was out with Miss
Bud, and a terrible storm came up, and
my shoes were new, and | was just
ordering a coupe for two when you
reused me. Old boy, you have saved
me a dollar"
And the host says he was actually
afraid to go to sleep again that night
for fear the coupe would come.-Louis-
vile Times.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
PAID FOR THE PICTURES.
Where the Money Came From That
Settled the Bill.

"For diplomatic kindness / will never
forget one man." remarked a well
known sportsman of Pittsburg. "He
certainly knew how to do the right
thing. and although it didn't cost him
anything it helped a crowd of US out
of an embarrassing predicament for
the time. \ party of young fellows,
myself in the number, were camping
years ago on the Beaver river, not far
from Rock point. None Of us had much
money after getting our outfit and the
farmers got about all that was left
in exchange for milk and butter. One
day three OF us decided to go up to the
picnic grounds, and, just as luck would
have it, we met u crowd of girls from
our own town. 1t was n happy meet
ing all around until some fool girl
suggested that we all get our pictures
taken. To save our lives, the three Of
us boys couldn't have raised n total Of
1G cents, but like true soldiers of for
tune we decided to go ahead and trust
to luck to meet the obligation.
THE artist eyed us rather queerly
and our hearts began to fall After a
whispered consultation was delegated
TO take him aside and negotiate with
hin. | was authorized TO stake every
thing we had, even down to our good
names. ! stated the case briefly but
eloquently, and l must have made
good impression. for, when | had fin
ished. he said it would be all right.
The strangest part of it all to me was
when he handed me a dollar bill.
81 know how it is myself he said.
You want to put up a bluff before
these girls. Just hand me the dollar
for the pictures when I'm through
''That was what pleased me. and
flashed that bill before the girls with
the air of a magnate. 1t was just a
month later that | learned from
brother Of one of the girls that they
had noticed our worried looks and had
forestalled us by paying the pho
tographer the dollar | flourished so
proudly y"-PittSburg News
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
Safe.

The little child is safe from ordinary
dangers in the care of the faithful dog.
But neither the dogs fidelity, nor the
mothers love can guard a child from
those invisible foes that lurk in air,
water and food-the germs of disease.
Children need TO be specially watched
and cared for When there is loss of
appetite, lassitude and istlessness i'll a
child, an attempt should be made to re-
vive the appetite and rally the spirits. In
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
parents have found an invaluable medi-
cine for children. Its purely vegetable
character and absolute freedom from
alcohol and narcotics commend it to
every thoughtful person. 1t is pleasant
to the taste, unlike the foul oils and
their emulsions offered for children's
use. vGolden Medical Discovery" makes
pure blood and sound flesh, and abso-
futely eliminates from the system the
poisons which feed disease.
Mrs Ella Gardner, of waterview, Middlesex
Co., Va, whose daughter suffered from malarlal
poisoning and catarrh, writes "My little
daughter Is enjoying splendid health. l am glad
/ found a doctor who could cure my child. She
took twelve bottles Of the Gold a Medical Dis
covery' eight bottles of Pellets, and one bottle
of DR. Sages Catarrh Remedy, and she Is well.
We thank God for your medicines"
Give the little ones DR.. Pierce's Pleas
ant Pellets when a laxative is needed.
They're easy to take and don't gripe.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
HIS HAT AND UMBRELLA.
This Man Took a Quick Luncheon
Sign at Its Word.

SIBn AT Ats "OrO.
He was undoubtedly from the coun-
try. His umbrella, a big cotton affair,
would have given him away even had
he not had one trousers leg tucked into
a boot He wandered into one of the
big quick luncheon places in lower
Broadway He was looking for some
thing to eat and was just sitting down
at a table when his eye caught a sign
which read: Watch Your Hatsi The
Management Will Not Be Responsible
For Umbrellas and Hats Unless Check
ed by the Cashier"
80. here's this here cashier" he ask
cd tho v-~"."n who came to wait on
hi,N
up there in the little cage by the
door" said the waitress.
The farmer stalked to the cashiers
desk and laid down his umbrella and a
big hat that was new five or six years
ago. The cashier looked up in amaze
ment.
Keep your hat" she said. "It will
be all right"
The farmer walked back to his table,
read the sign again and thought it over.
Then he climbed on a chair and took
the sign from it's hook. He carried II
up to the cashier.
"What does this mean?" he asked.
People were beginning to laugh, and
the pretty cashier got red in the face.
She took the hat and umbrella and
wrote out a receipt. 1t was the first
time in her life that she had been ask
ed to check hat and she has been a
cashier more years than one. - New
York Tribune.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
BRANDS OF CIGARS.
New Ones Come and Go, Like the
Flowers of Spring.

"What becomes of all the different
brands of cigars which are placed upon
the market each year,? said a Wash
ington cigar dealer. "Well, that's a
question which is easier put than an
swered.
81 carry large stock of cigars, and l
have on my shelves over 80 different
brands of cigars which sell wholesale for
$50 a thousand and retail for 8 cents.
/ have over % different brands of 10
cent cigars and a dozen or so different
brands Of the higher grade cigars re-
spectively.
''This is an appetizing array to the pro-
fessional smoker and affords an almost
unlimited choice. The launching of a
new brand of cigars upon the market is
an expensive undertaking and one which
is attended with more or less risk. 1t
takes a lot of capital, because cigars,
and new brands of smoking tobacco, for
that matter, require a lot of persistent
and costly advertising. The maker must
compel his new buyers to give up some
other brand for his, and in order to ac-
complish this he must offer an induce
ment to attract the smoker.
"By advertising he gets a smoker to
say, i III Try tnlS new Dranu OIL lne Srdue
l smoke If he likes it, he may stick to
it. If not, he wanders off to another or
back to his old favorite. Men will swear
by a certain brand for six months and
then abandon it forever for another in a
day. The dealer, if he is interested in
introducing a new brand, will coax Gus
toner to try it, but the main reliance
is in advertising and in putting up good
grade of tobacco for the price. The
maintaining of the same grade year in
and year out, however, is another mat
ter, and | have seen the demand for a
popular brand fall off right away as soon
as an inferior tobacco is used A smoker
will say concerning it: That's no good
now. Give me another brand
"A happy choice of name has great
deal to do with the success of a cigar,
and it is for this reason that makers use
the names of popular stage favorites,
statesmen and others. Sometimes new
brand will not take at all, and the makers
retire it or substitute another name.
Others catch popular fancy at once, and
enormous sales are made from the start.
Certain cigars sell well in one city and
not at all in another" Washington Star.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
RULED WITH A ROD.
But the Rod Must Be Iron, with
Redh0f Tin.

But the Rod Must BE Iron, With o.
Redhot Tip.
when all other methods of control
ling wild beasts fail the keeper has only
TO employ an iron rod, which has been
made redhot at one end" said an old
circus man to Star reporter recently.
Lions and tigers" he continued. will
cringe Before the heated poker. and no
matter how restless and fretful they
may have been the sight of the glow
ing iron Immediately brings them to
their best of animal senses. 1t has an
almost hypnotic influence over the
beasts. | have seldom heard of an
animal being burned in this manner.
however, SO there Is nothing cruel In
the treatment. 1t would not do for the
keeper to burn the charges under his
care, for the scars would mar the
animal for exhibition purposes. The
hot iron is a terror. just the same,
and under its persuasion the kings Of
the jungle are docile and ready to do
what Is wanted of them
I'm circus mena geries the animals
often become almost unmanageable.
This Is true of the younger specimens,
who do not like the idea of being so
closely housed. so much hauled about
and so often cut off from the light Of
the outside world. When 1t becomes
necessaryrto give their cages a thor
ough and sanitary cleaning, one attend
ant holds the beast In a corner by
means Of the redhot iron, while an
other thoroughly cleanses the remain
ing portion Of the cage, the work being
accomplished by brooms and mops
from the outside. In changing the
wilder animals from the cages en-
ployed on the road to the larger and
more commodious quarters at the win
ter station, what we call a strong box
is used The wagon Is hauled along
side the large cage and the steel strong
box, open at both ends. is constituted a
passageway. The animal hesitates to
make the journey through such sus-
picious looking object, however, and
again the heated iron must be brought
into play."-Washington Star.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
To Avoid a Total LUs-

A Pittsburg man tells of a visit he
made at q thrifty home in nearby
town. The call was quite pleasant
one and during the evening ABBEY"
the hopeful son Of the family, was
sent to the cellar for refreshments for
the guests He could be heard CROP
ing his way through the dark. and
then came the noise of something fall
Ing and the crash Of glass. "Abey's'
mother was plainly uneasy, but she
assumed the unnatural composure
which her society duties demanded.
Soon "Abey" came up with an armful
of bottles.
what was that noise we heard,
'Abey'P' asked the mother.
Nothing much" replied "Abey."
'I knocked over q bottle of milk and
it rolled down the steps and spilled"
"Did you call the cat, 'Abey'T' asked
the thrifty woman.-Pittsburg News.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
THE DATE OF THE FLOOD.
Bible Facts on Which the Bishop
Haacti His Question.


Some people had fun over the re-
ported rejection of eight candidates for
the African Methodist ministry in the
south by the examining bishop because
they could not tell the date OF the
flood Nevertheless the bishop who
asked the question knew what he was
doing. 1t may not have been a fair
question, but there is concise answer
to it in the Bible, and he no doubt
thought that the eight candidates, If
they were we'll verSed in the Old Testa-
ment, would answer il at once.
The date of the food was 1856 years
after the birth of Adam, in the second
month and the seventeenth day. 1t be-
gan then and continued for 40 days
and nights. This is how it is figured:
The third verse of the fifth chapter of
Genesis reads thus, "And Adam lived
13O years and begat a son in his own
likeness. after his image, and called his
name Seth" Then in the sixth verse
it is told that Seth lived 105 years and
begat EnOs. Adam, says the fourth
verse, lived 500 years after the birth
of Seth, and the latter after the birth
of Enos lived S07 years. SO it goes on.
Enos begat Cainan when he was 80;
Cainan begat Mahalaleel when he was
70; Mahalaleel begat Jared when he
was Go; Jared begat Enoch when he
was 162. Methuselah was born to
Enoch when the latter was 60, and
when Methuselah was 1S1 he begat
Lamech, and Lamechs son Noah came
into the world when the father was
1S2. This brings us down to the birth
of Noah, which, according to the added
ages of the several patriarchs at the
time their sons were born. occurred
1,O56 years after the birth of Adam.
In the seventh chapter of Gensis the
eleventh verse reads as follows: In
the six hundredth year of NOah's life,
in the second month, the seventeenth
day of the month. the same day were all
the fountains of the great deep broken
up and all the windows of heaven
were opened" This was the food,
and it came to pass in the year lGJf
after the birth of Adam.-New York
Sun.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
The Average Lrvvs 1it.

There is nothing mere ' @.c..'1'rr than
the average lawsuit. To .,. G.snIte
over few dollars anI 20 Ia. Both
are sure to lose. Their Er.-hhov% are
dragged in as witnesses, al tiH costs
amount to 10 or 20 tine .;.c ;....--..t IN
dispute. Frequently te%e LaHa~;;s
ruin families and STARE C"a""ols tl"t
last for years. Some nr2 claim ii is
principle" that actuates them in these
lawsuits 1t is bullheadedness, pure
and simple. 1t is nearly always easy
to "split the difference"
Another bad feature about these law
suits Is that the county is put to con-
siderable expense, and men willing to
work are compelled to sit on the jury.
Settle your disputes without going to
law. If the man with whom you are
disputing is not willing to split the
difference" he will probably accept a
proposition to leave it to three neigh
bors.-Atchison Globe.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
What ErfRhfened Him.

While crossing the isthmus Of Pana-
ma by rail some years ago the conduct
or obligingly stopped the train for Mr..
Campion to gather some beautiful
crimson flowers by the roadside. 1t
was midday and intensely hot. In his
"On the Frontier" Mr.. Campion tells a
peculiar story Of this flower picking
experience.
l refused offers of assistance and
went alone to pluck the flowers. After
gathering a handful L noticed a large
bed Of plants knee high and of delicate
form and a beautiful green shade. l
walked to them, broke off fine spray
and placed it with the flowers.
To my amazement / saw that l had
gathered withered, shriveled, brown
ish weed. l threw it away, carefully
selected a large, bright green plant
and plucked it. Again l had in my
hand bunch of withered leaves.
1t flashed through my mind that a
sudden attack Of Panama fever, which
was very prevalent and much talked
of, had struck me delirious.
went ''off my head" from fright. In
q panic | threw the flowers down and
was about to run to the train. / looked
around. Nothing seemed strange. l
felt my pulse. All right. l was in a
perspiration, but the heat would have
made lizard perspire.
Then l noticed that the plants where
! stood seemed shrunken and wilted.
Carefully l put my finger on fresh
branch. Instantly the leaves shrank
and began to change color. | had been
frightened by sensitive plants.
Too Hurried.
A "teuderfoot" who was trying his
luck on a western ranch was at first
Mortified by the table etiquette which
prevailed among his associates.
One day his feelings evidently came
80 near the surface that a cowboy
whose performances with table knife
Of unusual size had aroused the ten.
derfoots amazement. paused with an
other knifeful of food half way to his
lips.
whats the matter" inquired the
cowboy with disconcerting promptness,
In the tone of one who means to be
answered.
"Ah-er-nothing, hastily responded
the tenderfoot
Look here" cried the cowboy, with
an accompanying thump Of bis un-
occupied hand on the table, 81 want
you to understand that I've got man.
ners, but | haven't time to use en-
that's allw-Youth's Companion.
"There's no time like the present.
said the young college man as he turn
ed over to his uncle the watch his
grandfather had given him last birth
day-SyracuSe Herald.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
Adyice From "a Rufcher.

"What the newspapers should do is
to devote less space to describing what
people should wear and more to what
they should eat" remarked the butch
er. "Fashionably dressed women come
in here every day who don't know lamb
from mutton or hen from a rooster.
No wonder men have dyspepsia. | find
that men know more about the quality
Of food stuffs than women do. Many
of the latter don't even know the few
simple tests that might help them to
distinguish an old fowl from a young
one, and about meat they're greener
yet. A young woman came in here the
other day and asked for two pounds of
veal outlets. | showed her the loin |
proposed to chop the outlets from, and
she remarked, Yes; that's very nice,
but isn't it rather thick to fry? -
Philadelphia Times.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
TIE LAST CHARGE.

Numpete., blow on, terrific and thunderoua.
Blow till thy busle outring the wild gales,
Spare not the wounded that writhe and wind un-
der US,
Drown In our ears all their piercing death wailsl
Steady. dragoonsi Get together your forces;
Aim at the breast, for that makes the bsss
targe.
Now let US fly like whirlwind OF heroes;
Ride like your forefathersl Cavalry, charged
Trumpetsr, sound me dread note and dangerous;
Blow TO the end Of thy desperate breathl
Blow till the cry Of 1t. clinging and dangerous,
Call back the squadrons that rode TO their
death.
Close up, Dragons. and ride forward the guidon.
Trumpeter, blow me once more loud and largel
This is not earth. but dead men, that we ride on;
They your brothers oncel Cavalry. charge
Trumpeter, sound a note tender and tremulous;
Wall for those lost to US, sob for our dead!
Cry loud for vengeancei Oh, let your note smu-
lous
Rival the roar OF the souls that have fedi
Ready, dragoons Ye are hfty that followl
Burst as river bursts over Its margel
Who first can fling his horse into their hollowY
On. up and over themi Cavalry, charged
Thomas Tracy Bouve in McClure's Magazine.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
No Family to Boast OF.

Miss Cardinals Mr.. Burbank i
man Of family?
Miss Nirginia-Not that anybody
knows of.
Miss CaroIna-Somebody told me
that he is the father of several chill
dren.
Miss Virginia-Ias n house full of
them, but he can't trace their lineage
beyond his common old grandfather
Denver News.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
WANTED A RECEIPT.
The Old Lady Insisted Upon Follow
ing Instructions.

The Old Lady Insisted Upon Follow
ing Instructions.
The old lady was not used to travel
ing on the Broadway cars. She had
evidently spent her youth and middle
age in the rural regions, but doubtless
she called old Ireland home. The con-
ductor, who differed little from the
rest of his kind, came through the car
calling for fares. The old woman held
; out her hand, In which a nickel was
tightly clutched, then drew it suddenly
back as If she had made some mistake.
I want my 'resate' first" she said In
a rich Doolian dialect
The conductor paid no heed; but,
holding out his hand, demanded Fare,
please"
"But want my 'resate,'" she repeat
ed.
mo receipts, lady," said the stolid
conductor. "I'll have to have your
fare"
my son told me not to give up any
money without getting 'resate,'" in
sisted the old woman stoutly.
The kind lady with the sweet race
and Paris clothes proffered the assur-
ance that it was "all right" that no
body got receipts.
"See, 1 pay my fare without one"
she said, giving the conductor a dime
and the woman reassuring smile.
But the woman was stubborn. Il
want my 'resate,'" she reiterated.
The conductor mechanically held out
a nickel to the kind lady of the Paris
gown, but she shook her head, nodded
toward the old woman and smiled.
The conductor without word passed
on through the car, which lurched and
swayed through Union square. She of
the "resate" shook her head grimly,
settled herself back In her seat and
held on to the nickel, determined not to
relinquish it without the necessary ac-
neutrality-suspicious. York Mail and
Express.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
semethinT For Nothing.

Some time ago there appeared in sew
eral Paris papers an advertisement OF
an obscure fruit dealer, in which he Of
fered to give prize Of 5 francs for the
largest apple sent to him. Then fish
caught at the bait with marvellous ra-
pidity. and in less than fortnight the
advertiser had received enough fruit to
stock his store for the season. Natu-
rally he was glad to pay 5 francs for
the largest Of the lot, and just as natu-
rally he kept all the unsuccessful speci-
mems for sale from his shop. Besides.
the advertising resulted In large In
crease In his business.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
Iwo ureut uDJecIs.

"They say" remarked the very Gym
icaI person, that in this corrupt anC
superficial age the great object is not
to be found out"
"That shows you have very little eX
perience with bill collectors" answered
the impecunious friend. 'My great OBJ
ject is not to be found in."-Washing
ton Sfnr
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1901-01-17
OUARRIES OF OLD EGYPT,
Where Stone For Pyramids of the
Desert Was Procured.

Desert Was Procured.
On the way to PhilR and the head of
the cataract, a short distance south of
Assouan, we come upon the ancient
quarries which supplied the granite
for the columns, statues and obelisks
throughout Egypt for many centuries.
An obelisk which we saw lies in its
native bed 1t is % feet in length, and
three sides have been carefully cut,
but for some unknown reason it was
never separated entirely from the par
ent rock The surface bears the tool
marks of the wOrkmen. The grooves
in it show that it was tc have been re-
duced at the sides. 1t was supposed
that the stone was split from its bed
by drilling holes in the rock and filling
them with wooden wedges, which were
afterward saturated with water, the
swelling wood furnishing the power.
From illustrations in the temples it Is
clear that these great monuments were
floated down the river on fatboats and
rafts and then carried inland by arti-
fetal canals or dragged overland by
thousands of slaves. In one of the
tombs at Beni-Hassan is a picture il
lustrating the process. The great stone
is loaded upon huge sled drawn by a
multitude of workmen. One man is en-
gagged in pouring water upon the run
ners to prevent friction; another stands
at the left of the statue and beats time,
that the men may work Ain unison,
while overseers, provided with whips,
urge the laborers to their task. What
king desired to eXtricate this block
from the quarry, why it was left here,
what it was to commemorate, we can
never know. The riddle Of the sphinx
is solved, but the riddle of the obelisk
in the quarry will no doubt remain
with us forever.-ChautauGu