The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1901-09-03
4 Real Funny story.

Old Tim Linkins the barber ofWabash Avo
nue. Chicago, i, a great student of provcrbiaI
philosophy. and he sometimes eutertains bie
customers in the interval OF a "scrane, or
haircut by his apt applications Of the wcll-
known proverbs Of the past to the conditions
or requirements Of the present. His regular
customers know his strong point. and many "A
man who apparently goes In for shave is
really IN search of a rest i'm a COSY chair and
has desire 90 hear Tim" hold forth pro
verbally. One day last week a stranger cnme
In Tor shave, and as he stretched himself
Ecarlly IN the chair. Tim prepared TO lathcr
MN. Inc man incidcntly remarked that he
hau intended coming in earlier in the dav hut
had been prevented well it's better lat
than never, said Tim smilinglv Not al
ways" replied the stranger. slowly. Glow
about losing your pockctbook / never lost
ono until yesterday never did but would
sooner nave kept II. Now. why was IL better
Tor me to lose IL late than not at all p Tim
acknowledged that he was wrong and the man
continued Don't know what / would have
doho IN my predlcament, only an old acqunin-
lance of mine on the Lake front let me have
twenty to go on with" "Ah" clipped I'm
I'm, that was good friend in mood Is a
friend indeed. mo, he isn't" snapped tho
man who was being shaved There you're
dead wrong again. How can friend IN need
be a friend indeed? Ihave good many friends
who are always in need and thew are a nuisance
10 me. Always on the borrow " Tim thought tho
problem over In his mind and reluctantly adj
nltted that the man was right lie had al
most made nj his mind not to speak again
When the stranger continued eyes sir. they
are nuisances Why one of them follows has
been calling on me for the past year and
threatens TO get even with me some wav ii I
do not loan him fifty dollars. He threatens
me az every visit "Oh, l wouldn't mind
that replied Tim unconsciously won know
tine old adage A barking dog never bites. -
lhere you are again. 80 said the "shaveo 90 as
ne wiped little lather from the corner of
MS mouth. Say. what do you know about
dogs, anyway that YOU talk in such a sillv
strain Have you ever ventured TO go too
close to barking dog and If Won did what
did he do 10 YOU Did Won ever know a bark
ing dog that didn't bite if he got the chance?
lin said he couldn't exactly call 20 mind an,
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled the
claim in the proverb, and there was a silence
Tor Few minutes while his razor was gliding
over the mans face Then the barber smiled
to himself as he bethought him of a good Joke
i suppose, he said, as he applied the bay
rum, II suppose you don't believe in the bar
bers proverb at all2" What's that ?" asked
the stranger, rising. 1.-TWO heads are better
than one" answered Tim. "Of course Won
can understand why they are, in my business
but know you would like to say they would
be bad for a man with the headache or"
Nothing of the kind, put in the other. snil-
ing 'One OF your proverbs. at least is right
happen TO know that two heads are better
than one Then you don't object 10 that
old adage - Not az all. IL is dead right.
And would thank You very much if YOU have
any stray Lion heads at hand-those taken
from the Lion Coffee Wrappers My wife is
collecting them and she is about six shy of
the number required to get a Lady's Gold
Watch. You see in this case two heads are
better than one, and twenty are better than
ten" Just So added Tim. oheerfully. but
you Sec my wife is doing the same thing, and
expects premium in a few weeks SO to hor.
also, two heads are better than one. - well
in that case, said the stranger. az he paid
Tim for the shave and prepared to depart
you had better tell your wife to do the same
as mine Is doing. Save up the Lion heads
until after September lst next when the new
Premium List is issued Then if she sends
them to the Woolson Spice Co. T oledo. Ohio
she can have her pick of some very choice
preapntr -