St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1901-02-09

PRIDE OF NOBLE BLOOD.

PR1DE-OF NOBLE BLOOD.
How the HaaGhty Heroine Of . Novel
Discouraged All Attenpts
At Familiarity.
.Say," said the big-jowled man on
the rear platform of the Georgetown
car to the heavy-jawed man on his
right, die ever read book called
'Hapless Ermyntrude; or. How She
Won and Wed Him."
"Naw." replied the other. "What-
choo handing us? What dye think l
amp"
"well, 1 read that book all last Sun,
day." went on the big-jowled man,
relates the Washington Star. "And it
was great. Y ought to get it. It's
what they call the hmmick over in
Bloodfields. Greatest stuff I ever
sloshed into in my life. just saw it
kicking around-Ithink my wife picked
it up somewhere or another-and when
I'd finished reading the Sunday papers
I got hold Of it, and, say, l could hard
ly drop it to eat my dinner. Say, it was
: winner with me. Y ought to get it"
''On your way" replied the heavy
jawed man. what dye s'pose 1 want
t read a book with q name like that
for?"
Because" answered the big-jowled
man, it'll give you line on where or
binary, onnery. cheap, hoi-polloi. bour-
geoise-have / got that right ?-can-
allie, plebeian people like you and me
stand in this game. You'll never know
what big figure blood-lines out Of the
breeding book cut in the United States
until you read this book. Tell you why.
The main squeeze in 'Hapless Ermyn-
trude'-I mean the heroine-is Ermyn-
trude herself. Ermyntrude's paw goes
broke on Wall street trying to corner
the hot-air market, and then he ups
and croaks. Ermyntrude's nav has
died when Ermyntrude was babe
not baby, understand. but babe
there are no babies in modern novels
or plays-and. Of course, Ermyntrude
has to hunt for work, all of her folks
having died of before the book was
started. Well, she can't do anything
except play Monastery Bells on the
piano and fool around with Honiton
lace work, and SO she has to take job
in a cotton mill in little Massachu-
setts burg. Here's where Ermyntrude
begins to exhibit her blood lines. Her
last names Darrell, you see, and it
seems that the Darrells were the whole
thing, more or less, when it came to the
herd book. The Darrells traced 'em-
selves back to Hugh Of Hastings, or
some duck with a name like that. and
Ermyntrude just can't get away from
that fact to save her life. She's 80
naughty with the rest of the mill girls
that she don't make a hit at all, and,
naturally enough. they give her the jibe
whole heap. Well, every time one of
the mill girls takes a verbal crack at
Ermyntrude, Ermyntrude just draws
herself up to her full height and bites
her under lip and looks naughty. and
says: L am a Darrelll' Good thing.
amt it? The landlady Of her board
ing house tells Ermyntrude that she'd
like to have her keep her room 4 bit
tidier and make up her bed before go
ing to work in the morning. and Err
myntrude does the full height stunt
and exclaims: L am Darrell!' The
young woman at the department store
presumes to remark to Ermyntrude
when Ermyntrude is making some lit
tie purchase, that it is a fine day. and
Ermyntrude elongates herself as usual
and says: Tam DARRELL The CHEEKY
postman hands her letter, at the same
time voicing his opinion that it looks
something like rain. and Ermyntrude
gazes down at him from great height.
vouchsafing the following information:
4 am Darrell!'
A prosperous young butcher of the
township brushes up little to Ermyn-
trude and has the horrible gall to invite
her, properly chaperoned, to accom-
pany him for little ride in his fine
new T-cart, and she gains the usual
number of inches, bites her under lip
ferociously, and makes use Of the
phrase here affixed: I am Darrell!'
Say. it was just fascinating to read that
book. that's all! never knew before
what a dub / was in the matter Of
breeding. until I read it. The farthest
can get back is to my great-granddad.
and. l give ii to you on the level.
don't know any more about him than
ought to. and. tell you what, it was
a delight to me to And out that there
are such warm propositions in this
country as Ermyntrude in the matter
Of breeding. I'm a Darrell! she goes
right along saying from cover to cover
Il counted the phrase, and it's in the
book exactly 1,Os7 times-and the ex-
preston of pique and chagrin and sur
prise and hauteur that shines in her
eyes when this 4 am Darrell!' gag
fails to shrivel 'em up and. throw 'em
into salaaming fits must have been sad
to see. I sure would like to have been
around to pipe of Ermyntrude when
she was saying 4 am Darrell!' and
then looking for them to quake and fall
down where they stood. and il ever
I happen to meet up with anybody by
the name o. Darrell"
.well. that's my name," solernnly re-
marked the heavy-jawed man, and then
the big-jowled man turned pale and fell
hocl-er1 ~ the nj form