Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1901-07-31
GOOD MANNERS.

Its Essence Is Regard for the Feeling
of Others.
Woman sways this wonderful world to
a marked extent; and her power may
come from her beauty, her attainments,
her cultured intelligence, or her tact and
skill in conversation. Now, a very great
stepping-stone to the art of interesting
and delightful conversation is grace OF
manner. The essence OF good manners is
sincere regard for the feelings of others,
and to be able to fully gauge those feel
ings one must have studied humanity, at
least up to certain point.
There are number OF good and esti-
mable people who go through life boast
ing that they Railways speak their minds,
and this is undou btedly very honest and
straig htiorward proceeding on their part.
But, at the same time, one cannot be
blind to the fact that very often this
speaking their minds" is merely an ex
cuse for hurting out a remarkably UNI
pleasant, even offensive remark, that may
be quite uncalled for, ana merely the re-
suit of mementary irritation. In time
one learns to shrink from these very
rough diamonds who excuse their painful
bursts of spleen on the above mentioned
ground.
On the other hand, mind that is really
worth speaking out, and that aspires to
have good influence over those who
listen, has power by its ability to domin-
ate in a cultured non-irritating manner.
This particular charm is sometimes
spoken of as good breeding, but, to bring
it to its common denomination, it is
purely and simply good manners. 1t con-
sists of the constant training OF the best
of ones nature. To be unselfish is essen
tial, and, if not natural, that virtue
must be acquired, which, by the way, is
not an easy proceeding; but much must
be endured for the sake of the final effect.
Then comes the culture Of ones own per-
sonality, where original thoughts and
ideas are encouraged and expressed in
graceful and convincing language.
And here, too, one pauses and considers
the beauty of clear, correct enunciation,
that lends so much force to the expression
OF ones pet theories. Given well-deliber-
ated opinion, expressed in clear, UNDER
standable English, by one who has studied
humanity, and we have at once Gull
tured conversationalist. So much has been
acquired by the person who has cultivated
desire to please; it is what one is lead on
to by the stepping stones of good man
ners. The polished politician who sways
the mood of a vast audience and sends the
multitude away satisfied with his own
views, has held the people with him by
his so-calied "tact", which is really the
cultivation OF good manners, and leads
him to speak his mind plainly, yet, withaI,
so pleasantly, so politely, SO considerably
for The feelings OF those who listen, that
no one is irritated to disagree.
With woman, then, whose very sex
implies grace aud beauty and all that is
pleasing, the charm of really good man.
ners is no mean attribute. Even without
| attraction OF feature, the grace OF perfect
manners is most captivating. The gentle
yielding up Of ones own desire to meet
the wishes OF those one would please is
essentially winsome. The voice that is
me,odiously low and never raised to a
| pitch of harshness, is an enviable posses
| zion which is within the reach OF every
woman to cultivate.