The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-05-17

Out West,
And wear no corsets on their Stats,
Out West,
| Ard when lover seems to feel
Toe shy to make the sweet appeal,
They pull gun and make him sGuell,
| Out West.
! The women vote the same as men,
Out West:
Preach politics with voice and pen,
/ And if husband makes play
| To take that sacred right away
| He grows baldheaded in a day,
Out West.
And yet we love %vf W t3exf ratty eranks'
We get the geld. to All our banks,
They dig 1t up in every yard,
And that is why we try so hard
To hold them in our high regard,
James Barton Adams in Denver Posi-.
One very cold day Tom, in his first
trousers. was walking out with his tiny
! ove:coat turned back to its utmost limit.
cont. The boy demurred. LOOK at
mine,'' added his father. Yes" said
Tom, ruefully, "but everybody knows
| that you wear trousers"
Mamma-''Why, Susie, you've offered
your butterscotch to everybody hut little
| brother. Why didn't you hand it to
him." Susie with innocent candor'-
Because, mamma, little brother always
takes it,
\ Sunday school superintendent who
happened tc be dry goods merchant.
and who was teaching class Of very
little tots. asked when he had finished
explaining the lesson: Now, has any
girl raised her hand. What is it. Mar
thai" asked the superintendent. Why,
Mr.. Brooks, how much are those little
red parasols in your Window" said Mar
| tina.
Mary was very CONSCIENTIOUS child.
| One day she was allowed to go and spend
the day with some little cousins abont
she went to her aunt and said very so
berry, Now, Aunt Cassie. if Sallie and
Lizzie are bad today please don't hest
tate to punish them because / am here
Five-year-old Hugh c. had over
heard some bad language in the streets
and had been disciplined for repeating it..
One day at dinner after accidentally
floor he exclaimed Cod \ moment
of shocked silence followed and his moth
od Hugh Xe% k1 foSo
hands and closed eyes Hugh continues:
Dress mamma and papa and Aunt Ma
neighbour said Mrs. Van Sickle.
'Really?' said Mrs. Jones.
Yes; the first day she hung out her
| washing l sent little Bessie to peek
through a hole in the fence to see what
kind Of clothes the family had
Bessie reported that they were per
fe e. lovely"
And now it turns out that she does
washing for other people,"
And the good woman picked up mag
azine and tried to seem absorbed in an
examination of the half-tone reproduc-
tons Of Great Paintings Of the Cen
fury. Indianapolis Sum-
A certain Dutchman, owner of a small
house. had effected an insurance on it of
$500, although it had been built for much
less.
The house was burned down and the
Dutchman then claimed the full amount
for which it had been insured but the
officers, of the company refused to pay
more than its actual value. about 5000.
He expressed his dissatisfaction in DOW
erful broken English. interIarding his re-
marks with some choice Teutonic Ian
guage.
IF you wish it," said the agent of the
insurance company, I'VE will build you
house larger and better than the enc
burned down. as we are positive it can be
done for even less than 1900"
10 this proposition the Dutchman OBJ
Jected. and at last was compelled to take
the 5000.
Some weeks after he received the
money he was called upon by the same
agent. who wanted him to take out
policy Of life insurance on himself or his
wife.
If You insure your wife for f2OOO.''
the agent said. land she should die. You
will have the sum to solace your heart"
Bonner und hlitzen!' exclaimed the
Dutchman. you 'surance fellows ish all
tiefs. If insure my wife. and my wife
dies, and if l goes to de Office to get my
two teussnd pound: do ! gets, all de
money! No, not quite. You will say to
me, She vas not worth two tousand
pound: she vas worth about 6 pound. If
You don't like the six pound. We will gif
you bigger and better wife. ''-Tit-B Bits.
\ Glasgow gentleman recently recon-
mended to the notice of city merchant
a young fellow who was looking for
clerkship: Some few days later they met
lection had proved a wise one.
Not at all: - replied the merchant.
Dear me"' said the other. Il, thought
he would have avs suited you down to the
Yes responded the merchant, ''he
was too full Of go. Why, he's clean gone.
and thousand pounds of my money,
too
You don't say so! Why. thought he
was exactly the fellow you were locking
for
so he is.'' was the reply-"so he is
when Rev. DR.. S. Reese Murray was
doing pastoral work in Nontgomery,
Ala, he was called ON to marry couple
at the home of Mr.. Pollock, the leading
merchant in the city. Mr.. Pollock was
wealthy Hebrew, who lived in great
magni6cence, his home being the former
residence of an ex-governor of Alabama.
The bride, Gentle, was an inmate of
the house, and the wedding guests were
lavishly entertained. The supper was re-
markable for all sorts of delicious things
to eat and drink and for the handsome
display of silver and glass.
In the early part of the meal a waiter
nho1 m