The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1901-07-24
s1yEAs AIso A PHILOSOPHER.

'IyES ALSO 4 PEnOsoPEB.
IA your place would haf my plug hat
md gold headed cane in four weeks!
know more ash ten t'ousand peoples
sEho like cement patches on der shoes,
but dey don't come to you pecause you
don't haf some brains. It yhas sor-
rowful to see man sit still und so py
der poorhouse."
"But What can do?" says.
st Will tell you. Did you eafer hear
Of dot man named Diogenes"
ssDid he lif in Philadelphia!
ssNo, sir. He Ifs in Greece a long
time ago, und he vhas q philosopher.
Dot man vhas so poor dot he Ifs in a
hub und eats turnips, but BY und py
he vhas reech und famous It vhas all
yy his philosophy. You know What phi
1osophy is, don't your
@Of course. II you haf boil on your
leg, you must be glad dot it amt on
your neck"
seExactly-exactly. Well, Hans, you
shall be a philosopher. You shall put
GOD signs on der walls, und shall tell
III Ger peoples, und in leetle time
eaferypody Will be talking aboudt
Fans der Philosopher. In two weeks
SO mooch work comes in dot you shall
hire two men to help you. In one
month all der dago cobblers vhas gone
out of peesness. You keep a leetle
quiet und we spring a surprise on der
pooblic."
]. don't know aboudt him. und my
wife don't know aboudt him. but may
De she yhas all &. o. In two days Got
butcher makes me feefty signs to hang
oop, und he. tells more ash one hoon-
cred peoples dot yhas Hans der Phi
losopher. don't get my shop open in
der morning before man Kicks on der
door. When he comes in. he says:
Hello. Hans. So you ynas going in
to beat old Diog. eh: like dot
shall read your signs und bring in some
shoes to be fixed"
He looks all aroundt und reads, und
pooty Queek he says:
eHow vhas disf Maybe you ike to
insult me- eh? Dot sign reads dot
man nit third wife vhas lifng next
door to q fool Do you mean dot
vbas some fools pecause vhas mar
esed three tiues?"
81 don't pellet do" I,says.s-
!. 'Ehen. What do you meanT"
mean some philosophy
->oh, sou do?' yheL let me tell'gsa
somet'ingS. I can lick you in one Mir
ute by some clocks, und IL you don't
gake down dot sign pefore noon you
ghas wrecked man. ] baf some phi
aosophy. too. ind 700 better look oudt
Sor me"
1t makes me feel bad dot / lose my
FIRST Customer. und take dot sign
down In ten minutes woman comes
IN NIT two shoes 70 be fixed for seexty
cents. She vhas an old customer, und
I ike her.
$50 you vhas some philosophers, chr
she says TO me ash she looks aboudt.
- vhas"
$50 vhas /. and shall bring you all
my shoes to cobble. Let me read some
signs. Ha, ha! But what you mean py
dot sign which reads dot bieached hair
md brain fever don't lie on der same
sduowr
~1t vhas philosophy says.
s4Oh. It vhas! 1t vhas philosophy 20
S1guit your customers, vhas Il?
s<But don't insult you, woma2s"
"eBut you do. Ny hair vhas bleeehed
because like to be a blond. und dot
nsun means don't haS any brainG Gif
me back dose shoes. You mag be some
pnilosopher ali right bat take my
work to some dago who Cont make
-gEn Of me. Cobblee, you ybas bold,
5sad man, and IL you Sc ne one more
Svocd yhiu wseog dis shoo uod break
yD19 heart"
Wnen dot womaos qoas oadt my
ewtSe comes ia Snd says Got besekec
seas a fool uH6 vhlll drif rs sabs bank
zzotcy. Il locks Get vhay 20 nee soo
Tue don't Dc settings p&Oea g Gs&iag
memes IN snd shoats osdts
~
GOOD noeniaz ed philosaoaGS Bs7
aeOa vhas?. Dot bateasc vAas saaag
s1e aboudt her. und ] vhao gS0d q +
sTAss dis locality vhaoSs . Dhescse-
Eaee, end pdSae Vea DaSe . Big
geoseeos. Yea hae eek coo soene agA
N? vbs1. ] read en easee aoa 6aa
ggeng you ii some work
lie reads Eoe two EGcSas 0@A dGa
M@yG:
sssee heze, coooses, San sUa Ease
1D0e peesoees pg sosssaog ss0saesz- s0aez
1zY' =
swoo vnss Aau.e ylY u
ae vAas yoa Beee veaas q ega az
aews 40 baldSea6ed. rae stsSEA eeaS
- En- a eoma 0cz9z. Ybaa oa