The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1901-11-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Papa, what's the difference between
an amateur and professional poll
| tician?''
"Oh, from two to twenty thousand a
year."-Life.
Children said the teacher, while in
Sructing the class in composition, you
should not attempt any flights of fancy,
but simply be yourselves and write
what is in you. Do not initiate any
other persons writings or draw inspira-
ton from outside sources"
AS a result of this advice Johnny
Wise turned in the following compost
ton:
1--WE should not attempt any fites of
fancy, but rite what is in US. In me
thare is my stummick, lungs, hart,
liver, two apples, one piece of pie, one
stick lemon candy and my dinner
Baltimore American.
sNo,'' said the fond mother, speaking
of her 25-year-old daughter, mo May
isn't old enough to marry yet She cries
whenever anyone scolds her, and until
she becomes hardened enough to reply
vigorously she isn't fit for a wife. =
Tit-Bits'
do you miss your husband as much
as when he first went away?"
mo, am becoming reconciled. You
see he sent a power of attorney
Brooklyn Life
.'It seems to me that our friend has
so much faith in money that he almost
makes religion of it,
II don't like the comparison. The
word religion implies at least a remote
chance of backsliding. w ashington
Star.
Every man desires happiness; not
necessarily for publication, but as a
guarantee of providential good faith
Life.
1.-The o'clock trainl I thought you
said o'clock 1t is after now. I shall
not have time to pack and dress"
There's plenty of time, my dear-if
you don't hurry. Life.
'sIIit do look lax politics is 'livenin'
up now" said the old colOred voter, zen
fun de present prospects a po' homes
manli have a chance ter make a Twin.
Hits my opinion hits been too long
time 'twixt votes in dis freedom coun-
try.'-Atlanta Constitution
The poets have called the month of
October all sorts of names-''sombre,'
lonesome .dreary," etc, but one,
Though they say you are whitening
and SOBER,
(And that, to say truth, amt the
WOrSD,
Yet still we would love you, October,
If your bills didn't come on the first"
Atlanta Constitution
At humorous things 1 fain would roar;
A jest, / truly prize it,
But, if we've never met before,
How shall I recognize it?
Washington Star.
We greet the man who finds no fault
With praise, and all the rest of it.
But the kicker whom we ne'er exalt
Still, somehow, gets the best of it.
Washington Star.
Forge-He says in his native city the
streets are always well watered, and
they never use sprinkling carts.
Fenton-For goodness sake, where is
he from?
Venice. '-Philadelphia Record.
'Ts your daughter learning to play by
note?'
Certainly not answered Mrs Cum
rox a little Indignantly. I'VE pay cash
for every lesson. The idea!"-Washing-
ton Star.
IT'S not that she's contrary,
But now she's rich, and she
Who once was Ellen Mary
Now is Eleanor Marie.
Philadelphia Record.
$50 you have two Children boy and
a girl" commented ne old friend, who
had returned after many years. You
are indeed fortunate
That's what we thought at first re-
turned the practical woman
Don't you think so now?"
WELL returned the practical woman,
doubtfully, 4 suppose it's all all for the
best, but one can't help thinking that if
Mabel were a boy she could wear the
clothes that Johnny outgrows and there
wouldn't be so much waste Chicago
Post.
'I want to be famous" said the boy.
s'We1l, you'll have to be mighty care
full answered the father. There are
more people who make fools of them
selves trying to be famous than in any
other way."-Chicago Post
"Poor Dyer exclaimed O'Hara, con-
doing with Cassidy, who had been in
jured by a blast. '.'Tis tough luck teh
hav yer hand b1owed off, "Ochi Faith,
it moight ave bin wurse' replied Cassi-
dy. Suppose Ord had me weeks wage
in it at the tonne. ''-Philadelphia Press
Phrenologist-Your bump of destruc-
tiveness is very large Are you a SOL
der or pugilist?
Subject--Neither. I'm a furniture
mOVer,-Tit-BitS.