davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-08-27

Better chin without beard than {
head without brains.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-08-27

Not even the theatrical supe should
be too thin.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-08-27

mat girl has yet to be born who OBJ
!e0's TO being told she is pretty.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-08-27

The political ofice-seeker doesn' t
want anything he can't get.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1901-08-27

Never judge a man by his coat. He
may have borrowed it for the occasion
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
On Her Anniversary.


She sat on the top step, rueful lit
tie object in the noon sunshine. Even
the postman pitied her.
''Sick?"
mo. Only sorry"
"What's up?"
cts my birthday. I'm four"
The postman shouted with glee; but
she looked soberly sadder than before.
''Don't like to be four, Ell? Don't
feel well, eh?'
eyes, I feel we'll. But I'm hungry"
"Had breakfast?''
'No. Nurse is away at her wedding,
and cooks cross. Mammals making
me a sweet little dress for my party
tonight, and I'm not bothering her.
Therell be things to eat at the party
and I'm going"
''Where's brother?"
"Brother's making me Jumping
jack for my present, and he slapped
me because peeked.''
'More blessed to. give than to re-
ceive;" unused the postman. ':And so
you haven't had no food, eh?''
"Oh, yes, haven't not had nothing.
Eve had a piece of bread and an ic-
icle!'-Boston Transcript.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"TAat railroad Of yours, how does
it progre ss?" 'Well, it's still sta
tionery." --Detroit Journal.
Dumb.-''Doctor, don't you think
that raw oysters are healthy?' eyes,;
never knew one to complain" BAL
timore Jewish Comment.
Small Customer Ito general store
keeper)-'Mother says as would you
mind wrapping up the kpper in an
ILLUSTRATED paper, as her walls are
getting very bare.'' Punch.
He Knew.-"Pat, do you know what
is the greatest barrier to the habit
of drinlzing?" ''Oi do, sir" ''Oh, you
do, eh? Well, what is it?' 'sAn
Imply bottle, sure."- Richmond Dis
patch.
Pretty Fast.-Sangster-s'Have you
heard my latest popular song, She
Died with Broken Heart?'" Song
ster-"No; how does it go?" Sang
ster-"Like hot cakes."-Town Top
les.
Smith-'say, sappy, what's the
trouble between you and Bragg? He
says the next time he sees you he'll
knock some sense into that head of
yours" Saphead-''Huh! He can't
do it. "-Philadelphia Record.
Girl Wanted-Mistress Ito the new
servant, who has oversight herself)-
"How about breakfast, Bridget"
Bridget-"Ye naden't trouble teh
bring me up anything, ma'am; I
amt feelin' very hungry this morn
in'."-Philadelphia Press.
Parents should be very careful how
they treat their daughters. A Kansas
City woman mildly reproved her
daughter of IS because the girl
didn't sweep under the bed. The girl
took rough on rats. In southern Kan
sas last week a girl hung herself be-
cause her mother made her wash the
dishes, and in a Nebraska town re-
gently a girl jumped into the we'll be-
cause her heartless mother had asked
her to dust the parlor. Parents should
learn to treat the princesses in their
care with more delicacy and not ask
too much.-Atchison Globe.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
SWINDLERS IN TABLE LINEN.
Sold at Good Prices by a F'al1ir Who
Pretends to Have Cheated
Uncle Sam.

A new trick to sell cheap table linen
at good prices was discovered the
other day by woman who lives in a
Jersey suburban town. The man who
practices it seems to find it profitable,
for when last heard of he bad been
working it industriously for six
months.
He turned up in buggy at the Jer-
sey woman's house and displayed to
her half a dozen table covers. They
were of German woven linen, heavily
starched and glazed to conceal their
fimsiness and coarseness of texture,
says the New York Sun.
GIVE just landed from the steamer
Britannia" explained the man in a very
fair imitation of an Irish brogue, "and
I managed to bring over with me from
the old country a few tablecloths of the
best Irish linen that ever saw the light
here. They're me only capital and Pm
selling them off meself to get enough
coin to start me in little business.
I'm able to sell them cheap, because
bringing them as me own property,
got them into the country without
paying duty. If you know good linen,
here's great chance for bargain.''
It happened that the Jersey woman
did know something about linen and
when the man named for his inferior
wares price at which the best Irish
linen would not be cheap, she told him
what she thought about his stock in
trade and declared that she didn't be.
lieve his tale.
He went away without making a
sale, but the woman he didn't succeed
in fooling wasn't surprised when few
days later her neighbors began to
show to her bargains in table linen
purchased from a clever Irishman who
had managed to cheat Uncle Sans
customs.
week ago the Jersey woman was
visiting in a small town in Pennsyl-
vania. One afternoon her hostess
called her in consultation on a linen
bargain offered by man who had ':just
landed from the Britannia" 1t was the
same man and he had the same goods.
you've been telling that tale a long
time," said the Jersey woman. 1T must
pay well.''
II don't know what you mean,"
clustered the pseudo-Irishman.
When the Jersey woman explained
he admitted that the trick did pay very
well.
ut isn't many women who know
good linen when it's new" said he, not
in the least embarrassed, though
most of them think they do.'
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
THE FINGER NAILS.

Short-nailed men never give up an
argument.
A keen sense of humor accompanies
short nails.
Long nails indicate ideality and an
artistic temperament.
Short nails, thin AMI fat at the
base, indicate a weak action of the
heart.
Long-nailed people are apt to be
very visionary and hate to face disa-
greeable facts.
Short nails, very fiat and sunken
as it were into the flesh at the base,
are sign of diseased nerves.
Short nails, very fat and inclined
to curve out or. lift up at the edges,
are the forerunners of paralysis.
Don't scott at the idea that press
ing the ends of the fingers gently will
make them assume the shape of the
nails, for it is fact. .S
Short-nailed persons make good
critics; they are sharper and more
logical than long-nailed people, and
usually more positive in assertion.
Long nails never indicate such great
physical strength as short, broad
ones. Very long finger-nailed persons
are apt to have delicate chests and
lungs. &. &. X ..=..#= .5:s...@9
Long nails, very wide at the top
and blush in appearance, denote bad
circulation. Long nailed men and
women are less critical and more i'm
questionable than those with short
nails. ~. .s. .5 =
Il Don't use nail bleaches too gener-
ously, and don't fail to be stingy 81
rouge and powder. Let your nails be
beautiful with no visible signs Of the
manicuring that keeps them pink and
lovely.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
NovEL1sTs' FAVoRITE NOVELS

IAN article indicating. the romances
as their favorite works appears In the
March number of Pearson's Magazine,
from which are taken the following selec-
tions:l .-~ s5z - q.
= Bret Harte- Dumas Monte Cristo."
Mark Twain-My favorite novel il
"Huckleberry Finn
Anthony Hope NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Sterne's ''Tristram Shandy.''
& S. r. Crockett-My favorite novelist
is Scott, and my favorite book is t'Guy.
.Mannering.'' @><@ ..S= s..=.. Ii i.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
The Fright the Ghost Had.

During a confirmation tour in the
diocese of Peterborough, the late
bishop Of London put up one evening
at an old manor house, and slept in u
room supposed to be haunted. Next
morning at breakfast the bishop was
asked whether he had seen the ghost.
Eyes," he replied, with great solemn
>ity, 'but I. have laid the spirit; it will
never trouble you again." Being fur
ther questioned UP the subject, the
bishop said: ''The ghost instantly
vanished when I asked for subscrip-
ton toward the restoration of Peter.
borough cathedral -Argonaut.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Small ChanGe.

efYou know I feel just like counterfeit
BILL" observed young man to friend with
whom he was walking, stopping in front of
. barroom.
"Why?" queried his partner.
II cannot pass" the other explained, wav.
ing his hand toward the entrance Of the
place.
"Oh," remarked his friend, "don' let that
feeling worry you; you know I'm somewhat
accustomed to showing the queer" and he
took. the man with thirst by the arm and
Scimitar. 81.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Lloyd j. Smith Released.

Chicago, March 2s.-Lloyd J. Smith,
former warehouseman, has been re-
leased from custody under the in
dictments charging him with permit
ting grain to be removed from the
warehouses under his control without
canceling the warehouse receipts. The
ruling was announced by Judge Chef
lain, with the concurrence of Judges
Dunno and Gibbons, who with him heard
the argument on the petition for d
writ of habeas corpus to release Llody
}. Smith. The three judges hold that
there is no statute to punish the acts
sought to be set forth in the indict-
ments as a crime so far as Lloyd j..
Smith is concerned.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
CURRENT EVENTS.

OF 15,GC0 bakers threatening to strike II,
Manhattan and Brooklyn on May /, 5000
have already decided to strike.
The National City bank of New York has
arranged TO ship 1,250,C00 francs gold by
Wednesdays steamer and 100000 marks
to Berlin.
Gov. Allen. of Porto Rico. is expected to
arrive in Washington next week to confer
with the president in regard to the polit-
tcal and commercial affairs of the island.
The Carnegie company has received an
order from the CHILEAN government for
10000 tons of standard steel rails for thu:
roads Of that country. The rails are to be
delivered within two months
John l.. Bosley. convicted of embezzling
money order funds while he was postmas-
ter at Paris KY, has been pardoned by the
president on the ground that no fraudulent
intent was shown at the trial.
The weather in Europe continues as Bit
ter as ever. There is frost and snow every
where Heavy snowstorms have swept
over northern France, and there are sew
eral inches of snow on the streets of Paris.
Near Six Mile, w. Va, Charles Core, %
years old, shot and instantly killed seven
year-old son of John Hogan, and seriously
wounded the father because some one had
stoned his horse. ne escaped to Ken
lucky.
The Milwaukee chamber of commerce
Wednesday elected rs new MEMBERS OF
this number % are Chicago traders. This is
the largest number of members elected at
one meeting in the history of the Milwau-
kee chamber.
The work of laying a new cable line be-.
tween Emden. province of Hanover, Prus-
STA, and BactOn, county of Norfolk, Eng
land, Will be begun next Tuesday. This
will be the seventeenth Anglo-German
cable line laid
In consequence of the reduction of the
selling price of iron, wages throughout the
north OF England. in the manufactured iron
trade, will be reduced 711 per cent. April l.
IhlS is the largest reduction recorded since
the adoption of the sliding scale in 1885,
Geologst j. E. Spur, of the United
1rgton for Turkey under a special commits
sion from the Turkish government. He
Will, among other things, examine the
mines owned by the sultan and report on
their value.
The president has pardoned Wright
Lancaster, who was convicted in 1891 with
number Of others with completely in the
murder of John c. Forsythe, in southern
Georgia. The pardon is granted because
OF the nsufticiency OF the evidence upon
which he was convicted.
A horrible crime came to light when John
Favalona and his daughter Annie were dis
covered cold in death in their home on Per-
ditto street, New Orleans Both had been
murdered by burglars during Tuesday
night. The burglars ransacked the prem
1ses after killing their victims.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Heavy Loss by Fire.

.Attleboro Falls, Mass. March 2s.-
An incendiary fire here Wednesday
destroyed property of the value of
$4,000 to 100000. Several factories
were among the establishments
burned out.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
A Cautious Husband.

Excuse me, sir" said the man in the next
seat, ''but your cigar is burning hole in
your paper.
That's all right" responded the other;
II am just burning out the price Of those
elecrtic seals at to.morrow's bargain sale.
You see, l take this paper home. "-Phila.
delphia Record. s.a5r.. -..-e.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Sherlock Holmes.

"What will you gimme on this?" asked
the musician.
The pawnbroker took the battered tuba,
fingered the keys, noticed the wire netting
across the big end and asked:
Say, does a Teller have much fun trav.
elm with them one-night burlesQue com.
panies: "-Indianapoli Press.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
SW EDEN.

Fire broke out in the roof of Graf
varnes church, not far from Lysekil,
while the congregation was attending
service. A perfect panic ensued.' But
the building was vacated without any
body being seriously injured. Every
thing inaammable in the building was
destroyed, only the bare walls remain
ing. The building was erected in 1879
and the loss is covered by insurance.
The whole number of deposits made
in the Swedish postal savings bank
since it was established, in 1884, was
1,022, 2l4, and the amount of the depos-
its 81, 100000. The deposits in the
bank at the present time amount to-
about $40, 900, 600. The money is in.
vested chiefly in Swedish bonds. r.
The public prosecutor has proposed
that Rev. g. L.Bjork, of Vinberg con-
gregation, be reprimanded for CRITICS.
ing certain newspapers and recon-
mending others from his pulpit. r
!, "a number Of philan tropists have Of
fered the authorities Of Stockholm
$1,000 for building homes for poor
widows having small children.
Twenty-Five members of the second
= chamber of the riksdag called upon
the king and implored HIM to see that
something be done to prevent the pass
ing away Of the class of independent
farmers in the northern part Of the
! country. The trouble is due to tho
4 purchase of vast tracts Of land by rich
Al l1lm berinP companies e55s 81 S&
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

Twelve hours bright sunshine is the
average for December in London. In
1880. and again in 1890, no sunshine at
all was registered in December.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
THE MARKETS.
Grain, Provisions. Etc.

Chicago, March n.
FLOUR-Moderate demand and steady.
Winter patents. $3.75Qf3.95; spring patents
Especial brands). s4.25@430: other brands.
s3.60@3so; bakers, s2.35@2.eo; rye, $2.S5G
2e5.
WHEAT-Stronger. May, 75ss@757sc.
CORN-Higher. Cash, 41k@41Ac; May,
42Ac and 42s@42Ac; July, 421a@42Ac; Sep
TENDER, 42%@43k.
OATS-Steady. May, 24A@25c.
RYE-Firm, quiet. No. on the regular
market, 50A@51c, and No. 3, 4Sc; choice
lots, by sample, bring a premium. May
delivery, 51Gl5lAc.
BARLEY-Firm; it was scarce. Screen
ings, 300l3Gc; low grade to common bar
ley, 4O@45c; fair to good, 4S@55c, and choice,
56@5Stsc.
PORK, LARD AND R1Bs-Easier.
Sales ranged as follows: May pork at
$l5.7O Off to S15.60; May lard at SS.021s TO
$S.O5; May ribs al $500 to $7.9712.
POTATOES-Market quiet and easy.
Burbanks, 32@t37c; Peerless, 32@35c; Rurals,
S5@41c; Hebrons and Kings, 30@34c.
EGGS-Feeling STEADY. At mark, new
cases included, fresh laid, 12A@12Ac; at
mark, cases returned, 12@12Ac.
BUTTER-Quiet. Creameries, extra.
20llc per pound; firsts, l7@19c; seconds, 15@
16c; dairies, 14@19c.
LIVE POULIRY-Clulet and STEADY.
Turkeys, 5@Sc per pound; chickens, SIC:
ducks, 10c; geese, $4.0O@7.00 per dozen.
New York March q.
FLOUR-Steady and moderately active.
WHEAT-Spot firm; No. 2 red, S11sc; OPP
tions closed firm at A@2sc net advance;
May. so 3-16@S01sc, closed So3sc; July, so sis
@80Ac, closed S0Ac; September, 70 1850
S0Ac, closed 80Ac.
CORN-Spot firm; No. 2. 49c; options
closed firm al A@1Ac net advance; Marc.,
closed 49c; May, 475s@4Sc, closed 4Sc; July.
l7A@473sc, closed Also; September, 1870
i75sc, closed 4714c.
OATS-Spot steady; No. 2, S0kc; No. 3,
3Oc; No. 2 white, 321A@33c; No. white, S2c:
track mixed western, 30@31Ac; track white.
32@36c; options firm but quiet.
BUTTER-Firm. Fresh creamery 16G9
&c; factory, 9@14hc.
ClIEESE-Firm Fancy large, colored
and white. 11@11hc: fancy small. colored,
l21sc; fancy small, white, 12@12Ac.
EGGS-Strong. Western, at mark, 1870
SIC; southern, at mark 13@131ac.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

: IF man thinks he is wronged and tells
you his troubles, don't say there is another
side to the story, or he will think you are
q fooI.-Atchison Globe. +. .;i~..- -, .~s :,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

u You are foolish to pry into your neigh.
boris affairs when little finesse will dis.
cover the combination and let you in with.
out prying Detroit Journal "a
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

There were SAT strikes and lockouts
in New York state last year, as shown
by the report of the state board of
mediation and arbitra ton. The strik-
ers were successful in 335 cases. either
gaining all they wanted or compromis-
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

Spain is the greatest orange-export-
ing country in the world.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

] On Ohio man aged liz years is threatened
with nervous prostration. His physician at.
tributes it to theaexcessive use of tobacco
during the last 81 years.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

The first parachute descent from q
balloon was in 1899.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Had q Variety.

s'What is your husband s favorite fiction?"
asked the inquisitive person.
Il can hardly say at a moments notice.
said the patient wife, whether herprefers
the sick friend story or the detained at the
Office on business narrative. - indianapolis
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Inopportune.

3 .'See here!' exclaimed the shopper, ex.;
citedly there's man just dropped dead in
that bargain crushH .* " RI .%.
How inopportune!" cried the floor walk
e.: We have not yet opened our under.
taking department. p philadelphia Press. II
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

She Did he meet his wife BY Accident?"
He Oh, no; he knew she had money
Town Topics. III.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

From labor, heath, from health content.
ment IRs.-Beallie.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

South Omaha, Neb., March y.
CATTLE-Market steady to easier. Ma
tive beef steers, $4.20154O; western steers.
s370@4.60; Texas steers, $3.0O@4.O0; COWS and
aeifers, S3.30@4.40; Gamers, $l75@3.o5;
stockers and feeders, $S.25@.85; calves.
s.50@7.0o; bulls, stays, etc, $2.75@4.25.
HOGS-Market shade lower. Heavy.
s5S71a@6 921a: mixed. s.. S5Gd5 S71b light. $50
15.S5: pigs, $4.75@5.75: bulk of sales, S. 9s@
800.
SHEEP-Steady. Warnings, A70@5o0;
wethers, $430@4.65; ewes, $SS0@4.25; COM
mon and stock sheep, $s75@s.90; lambs.
H5O053O
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Live Stock.

Chicago, March a.
HOGS-Choice to fancy strong-weight
shipping, s6.021k@6.15; poor to good heavy
packing, $5.S5@l5971a; fair to choice heavy
mixed, s5.9o@6.o21z; selected butche:
weights, $6.0o@6. 071z; poor to fancy light
mixed, $5.s5@6.0O; selected lights, S. s0@6 90;
fair to choice, S5.50@5.75
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03

Its seldom that ! go out with my au.
tomobile without killing something, but
with my gun lie Rive. .-D'<. ss
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Wins First Place,

Thomas D. Schall, senior at the
state university, won the first place
and the $130 prize in the Pillsbury-
Dunwoody oratorical contest in the
university chapel He will represent
Minnesota next May in the northern
oratorical league contest with Nebras-
ka, Colorado, Wisconsin and Chicago.
His subject was "A HERDS Mistake."
Raymond l.. Dillnan, a senior law,
He is entitled to represent the univer-
sity in the next state oratorical contest
OLAF A. Lende stood third. Subject,
1.-The Need of Improved Methods of
Taxation"
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
MINNESOTA NEWC.
A Change.

AT a meeting of the faculty 81 the
university a change was proposed in
the curriculum which, if adopted, will
revolutionize the whole system of uni
versity work.: The amendment was
offered by Professor Woodbridge, and
recommends the introduction of the
semester plan, which prevails so gen.
orally throughout eastern colleges.
Along with this change is proposed
the adjustment of all degrees except
that of bachelor of arts, this to be con-
ferred upon students who have COM
pleted forty-eight four-hour subjects
during their course. If the proposed
plan is adopted, instead of the first
two years being required work, the
four years. course will be divided into
torty-eight term subjects, of which
twenty-four will be compulsory, to be
taken, however, any time during the
four years, and the other twenty-four
to be elective, as at present.
The matter was turned over to the
committee on curriculum, consisting
of Professors Nachtrieb, Jones, Dow
ney, Woodbridge, Hale, Hutchinson
and Clark.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1901-04-03
Royal Arcanum.

Royal Arcanum.
| The state meeting of the Grand
Council of the Royal Arcanum lodge
met in Mankato and elected the fol-
lowing officers:
Representative to Supreme Council
Henry c. Gilbert, St. Paul; alternate,
George T. Hughes, Duluth.
Grand Regent-George w. Dunlop,
! st. Paul.
Grand Vice Regent-W. L. Comstock,
| Mankato.
Grand Orator-Frank G.. Campbell,
Minneapolis.
Grand secretary-George T. Hughes,
Duluth.
Grand Treasurer-Robert T. Cone,
| Minneapolis.
Grand Chaplain-Dr. Buckley, St.
Paul.
Grand Guide-Frank L. Palmer,
Minneapolis.
Grand Warden-Raby Plank, Mime
apolis.
Grand Sen try-M. ]. Mullen, Duluth.
The T. C.. RI.
| The annual report of the Twin City
Rapid Transit company of Minneapo-
lis for the fiscal year ending Dec. 81,
1900, has been compiled and show that
the company is in an exceedingly pros
| porous condition.
Gross earnings for 1900 were So, $50,
Is, an increase of 1852 per cent,
and net earnings 500, SAL Oh, an in
crease of 1874 per cent.
After paying dividends on preferred
stock, the surplus $7o5, 591.04, and from
it two dividends of ~ per cent each,
amounting to $3.50, 800, have been paid
on the common stock, leaving bal.
ance Of 1886, 291.O4 to be added to sur.
plus account and for the improvements