The Ellensburg dawn. [volume] (Ellensburg, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1901-03-08
FROM THE DEVIL
TO THE TALE BEARERS
He Writes a Letter Full of
Plain Truths.
HE'LL, Feb. 25, 1900.

apology for not writing to you
sooner. But you know it is COM
mon for us all to neglect those
whom we depend upon most. 1t
may be some encouragement to you
for me to tell you that your work
is entirely satisfactory to me, and
that is one Of the reasons you have
not heard from me. l want to say
to you now that you knock the big
gest hole in the Ten Command
ments of any one particular class
of workers | have on earth. "Thou
shalt not bear false witness against
thy neighbor" is piece of foolish
ness that would rob you Of half
your enjoyment. Letyour tongues.
run. Loose them at both ends.
When you hear thing don't wait
but 60 right off and tell it to some
one else. Then she will tell it
again. 1t will be sure to make
some one squirm. Oh, it's fun for
me--and for you too. Don't read
anything good to talk about. You
won't enjoy talking half so much.
Watch your neighbors. If they do
anything you don't understand
form your own opinion, and be sure
and make it a bad one. Then 60
out and tell it. Tell it in a whis.
per; it will travel faster that way,
because it will be supposed to be a
secret. If you know anything on
any man or woman tell it. That's
what God made you for. You will
see it cause Il disturbance. 1t will
break somebody's heart. 1t may
set someone to drinking, or cause
someone to kill somebody. All this
helps me along. 1 love gossip.
I'll not let one escape. They are
all mine. because they are doing my
work. It don't matter if they do
go to church. l don't care how re-
spectacle they are. The higher
they stand in the community the
more people will believe them, and
the more good they do me. They
are one class of people whom Pm
never afraid of God getting-not q
single one of them. They can't
any more 60 to heaven than they
can stop talking. But, dear gossips
what do you want to 60 to heaven
for? You couldn't talk mean about
any one there. In hell you can
talk all you please. And down
here in my dominions you can
have so much to talk about. You
can float around OH the birthstone
lake and fairly revel in scandal
that happens right before your
eyes. Why, this place is heaven
for the. gossips. Any place where
you couldn't talk scandal would be
a hell for you. But you needn't
be uneasy about getting here. The
least word from you that Injuries
your neighbor is marked down by
Gods recording angel. He keeps
book for both of us-God and me.
But then, you're having lots Of fun,
aren't you. 1t is so funny to see
people squirm that you talk about.
And when you succeed in breaking
up family we have jubilee down
here in hell and pass vote OF
thanks to you. Oh, can't tell
you how much / like you and the
work you are doing. When you
come home to me I'll roast you to
suoh nice brown that you'll feel
proud of yourselves. Just keep
your tongues going. For fear some
people to whom this letter is ad-
dressed may think themselves
sighted. l will say that what l
regard as gossip is one who tells
anything that he or she knows
about a neighbor that will injure
them and bring trouble. These are
the kind Of people that have ere.
dentials from me to do my work.
They can be known by their talk.