Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1901-11-14
THE DAILY
SHORT STORY.
The Martrydom OF
Lyeurgus BiIthorpe
BY Edward r. Younger.

uIties up To the moment of dissolution
never again would he exert himself to
accommodate woman. Bilthorpe, Or
dinarily Il mild hammered man and SOFT
of speech, accompanied this announce
ment with weird ana picturesque pro-
family ana much paving OF the lam
bent atmosphere.
1t all came about In this way. Mrs.
Sawyer, who resides in an interior
Illinois town. took advantage of n
cheap excursion to pay Il long deferred
visit to the Bilthorpes and incidental
ly TO have a casual look at some OF the
bargain sales. ON the trip i'm the eX-
curSion train was crowded almost 20
suffocation. and Mrs. Sawyer feared
she would have trouble getting a seat
i'm the congested coaches OH the return
trip. This was the subject OF two con-
versations ut the Bilthorpe home, and
it was finally suggested that Mr.. Bill
thorpe get To the station Monday noon
as soon aS the train was made up, pick
out Il good seat and hold it, pending
the arrival of Mrs. Sawyer. who had
some shopping to do.
Bilthorpe. always an obliging man.
cast business affairs to the winds and
was the first person through the gates.
Swinging aboard the train, he selected
a seat in the middle of the first car and
awaited the coming of Mrs. Sawyer.
Meanwhile the coaches filled rapidly
with tired, cross people, and when all
the seats had peen pre-empted those
who had failed To find accommodations
forward began to surge back against
the crowd still pouring in ut the rear.
First a large. palpitating lady who WAS
perspiring like Il porpoise and strug-
Cling under sundry parcels attempted
to push her way into the seat beside
Bilthorpe.
Beg Your pardon, madam, but this
seat is taken" hc said softly.
81 see il is" she snorted, taken by
little whipper snapper who ought to be
up there in the hatrack instead OF sit
ting among decent folks"
Then q red faced man attempted to
push two gausly children into the seat.
and when Bilthorpe eNpcstulated the
flaming faced Individual invited him
out on the platform. promising to adorn
his countenance with Il few choiSe da-
dos and scrolls, just as Il mark of his
esteem.
Meanwhile the human torrent poured
in. surginS and roaring around the
luckless man who was immolating him
self upon the altar OF good fellowship.
He anNiOusly craned his neck i'm the
hope of catching sight of Mrs. Sawyer.
and, once or twice. when the angry
passengers who wanted the seat threat
ened to demolish him. lie loudly ex-
pressed the wish that Ibis wife would
hurry up"
Finally the train started and Bill
thorpe made dash for the door. In
the scramble 10 gain the coveted seat
a number Of passengers became en-
tangled in Il general scrimmage. Bill
thorpe was punched in the ribs with
an umbrella, his hat was knocked off
and lost, his coat torn and his lucllless
body was the recipient of sundry sur
reptitiouS kicks and cuffs as he squirm-
ed toward the door. Just as he reach
ed the platform some one raised the
cry Of ''Pickpocketr' a dozen pairs of
rough hands reached for the struggling
man, but he shook them off and plung-
ed madly from the rapidly moving
train, alightinG face downward and
blowing Il furrow in the hard cinders
with his nose.
When he had taken up a collection
of himself and held an inventory he
found that lie was minus Il hat, half
his coat, large section of epidermis;
his watch was broken, also three eX-
pensive cigars. while his letters and
other contents OF his pockets We're
scattered pretty generally over the
right of way.
He dragged himself home YEARLY
and painfully, the object of many I'M
kind remarks and suggestive glances
by street car conductors and paSsen-
gers. His wife promptly threw several
spasms upon bebOlding her lord and
master, and after n rapid fire outline
of what she would have done under
the circumstances and how much bet
ter she would have managed the whole
business she fell to and proceeded to
patch up her battered liege.
1t was the following morning, as he
lay fin an atmosphere of camphor and
6axseed poultices, that Bilthorpe made
his declaration never sagain to accom-
modate a woman, all of whom, he as
serts, are as capricious as the wind.
His wife removed the bandage from
one of his ears and read to him the fol-
lowing message. written on a postal
card and mailed ut station half way
down the line:
Ny Dear Mrs. Bilthorpe-I will drop this ut
Streator, where we stop twenty minutes. Tell Mr.
b. that think he real mean not TO get down
to the train and hold for me as he had
promised However. ] met some friends. and we
found very nice accommodations in the third
coach. 50 / shall forgive him. Will write you
more fully as soon get home. ] picked up
soT1e beautiful bargains. Lovingly Mas. s.
Chicago Record-Herald.