The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-02-10
GOOD STORIES
ON CONGRESSMAN
No Thieves in the House; They are
Al! in the Senate.
ELECTRICITY FOR INDIGESTION
Member Of the Lower House Got More
ofthe Subtle Fluid Than He Was
After-The Order of the I'M
macuIate BuffalOes.
ELECTRICITY FOR INDIGESTION

The wife of a well-known and .ery
popular member of the House Of Represen-
tatives was telling u story on him to-day,
which was much appreciated.
The gentleman came in rather late last
night after a conyivial time. He was
tired md sleepy and scarcely struck the
bed before he was in q profound slumber
Toward morning the good wife became
alarmed by unusual noises, and imme-
diately Visions of plumber and violence
disturbed her Imagination. She shook her
spouse with vigor and cried, Jim, wake
up; wake up" He gave an extra snort
and snore and turned over. She shook
him again screaming: Jim, you must
get up; Their are thieves in the house,
Arousng himself for a moment he said:
ooh, no. my dear, there are no thieves
in the House; they are all in the Senate"
A member OF Congress is addicted to
the habit Of chewing gum. Moreover. he
is following the custom of The school
girls ana sticking his chewing-gum I'M
der his chair when he lunches in the
House restaurant. This interesting dis
covery was made by q teilowmember,
who took his seat to-day, and when he
caught hold dE the chair to draw it up
to the table. he found his hand sticking
fast Examination showed a weli-chewed
wad Of gum adhering to his hand and the
chair Curiosity caused the member TO
examine the seats Of several other chairs
and on three OF them he found similar
WadS While it is not certain that it was
the work of a member, it is supposed to
be- as the room in which the gum was
found is seldom used except by members
At any rate, the guilty party will confer
4 favor on the patrons OF the restaurant
by throwing away his gum instead Of
leaving it underneath the chairs, unless
he wishes to use it again.
BACKED HIS SHOES
Remember, 1 used to black Your shoes
in Cincinnati" was the plea that enlisted
the sympathy and services of Representa-
tive Shattuc of Ohio, in behalf Of Private
Harry Maier, Company 3, 4th Infantry
Maier was a soldier in the Philippines, and
was found guilty OF INSTRUMENTATION and
sentenced to three years confinement in
the military prison ut San Francisco.
Some days ago Representative Shattuc
received a letter from M1lier asking that
he use his influence to secure q reduction
in his sentence, md reminded him dt the
fact that he had performed mental services
for Mr. Shattuc regularly before he left
Tor the Philippines.
Mr.. Shnttuc went to the War Depart
men yesterday and explained the cir
cumstances to Secretary Root, who reduc-
ed the sentence to one yeHr. As Maier
has already served about eight months.
the reduction amounts substantially to 8
pardon.
TOO MUCH ELECTRICITY.
A well-known member of Congress from
a State close to the District of Columbis.
~, !, IL
not cnre to repeat. He is being treated
| with electricity for stomath trouble. and
twice q week he swallows a steel button
with thin wire attached and connected
with an electric battery. The opposite
pole OF the battery is then placed on the
outside OF his stomach nnd the circuit
thus formed. Several days ago the Con-
gresham was taking his treatment and
the doctor was nervous. After making
the connection with the battery he pull
ed out the plug about four notches too far.
a muttied Shrek Of surprise burst from
the Representative, and he made Il wild
plunge forward. Following him came the
battery and the doctor. The member
could not release himself from the bat
terry, and in some way the doctor had
made connection with it and could not
let GO So around the room they went,
with the Battery banging against the fur
riture and maintaining a steady and in
fernal buzzing. After few minutes OF
this exercise the physician managed to
make his patient understand that he must
keep still long enough for the doctor to
force in the plug with his foot This
was done and the agony was over.
WHTTE-HAIiED MEMBERS.
The four whitest-haired men II the
House are, without a Doubt, Represen-
tatives Ba-Ilarn, OF Colorado Grosvenor.
of Ohio, Grow. of PENNSYLVANIA. and Cox.
OF Tennessee. OF these, Representative
Barham has the showiest hair being long
and wavy nnd OF a silken texture Eeprc-
sentative Grosvenor has the heaviest suit
of hair, it being as thick as that of a
young man. Representative Crows hair
is probably the most wonderful. as he
is years older than the others, Repre-
sentative Cox wears his hair reasonably
long, and it is quite thick.
Judge Barnhanns hair is the subject oil
quite a Tot ds comment. as he looks to be
at least 20 years old when seen from the
galleries with his snowy locks, Yet he
is only Sc. and young for his age. a
strenuous life In California, where he
removed with his parents in 1919. Is re-