The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-10-04

Just why the average woman is un-
happy unless at the close of eaoh sum
mer rugs and carpets receive a thorough
trouncing is one OF the mysteries that
the man intellect can never comprehend.
Man knows that woman SAYS mat the
performance IN intended 10 remove the ac-
cumulation OF dust and to smite out those
noxions germs which in close warm rooms
during the winter might come out OF thelr
prisons and develop. like the senii In the
spring comes. woman IL just as ANXIOUS
10 have the carpets again belabored CIV
ing Il as her opinion that the mud gain
cred during the winter will combine with
the hot summer sun TO disastrously affect
the health OF the family. Man. who Is
the chief victim ot this mania for health
preservation curves the germ theory ana
regrets ofttimes that civilization has
made IL bad form to cudgel the foolish
ness out OF the feminine heads a. he does
the dust from the unoffending carpet
-MefaaR knows the mind OF man, or
thinks she does. and therefore she never
apprises her victim ia advance OF the fact
that carpets are TO beaten. Man, tnno-
cent and unsuspectlug. comes home whist
ling a Nghtsome refrain 10 be pfostratsd
by an announcement something IKE TINS:
john Mary and | have been taking up
The carpets all day and we would like
YOU to 20 out TO the rear this evening aud
give them "A thorough dusting. You may
use one OF Nou new golf sticks m
sure ID will be splendid exercise for you.
John begins ny declaring that he will
not beat carpets but feminine zeal and
feminine guile win. as they nave won
wear after year. John ~ given a par
tlcular good dinner-it is customary for
m. exeucutioner to feed the victim well
before the sacrihce--and. cheered by his
meal energies into the back yard or the
vacant lot, where his muscle. gained In
many summer tourney upon the golf
SAYS Mrs. John to Mary, her iaithflt
domestic:
Instead OF paying man 10 do that
work / can spend the money II would
cost at MacStickeu's next bargain sale.
And besides ID will do John a lot OF good
TO exerciss in the nice fresh air. after his
dav OF confinement in that close office
John nfts his arm sloft to smite the car
pet n II a right smart. stroke Tor ne
Il conscious that some OF the neighbors
are looking out OF their windows. and he
wants them Co understand that his repu-
taticn a. summer golf IA ampson Is well
deserved A whirlwind OF dust flares ont
of the CARPET. which. unless he IL agile.
swings back and buffets him IN the race
and chest With the force or a Young bat
tering ram. aud he grovels on the earth.
swallowIns huge mouthfuls Of the swirl
ing microbes st every breath Then he
arises and mauls the carpet until IL -
wonder that a thread OF IL Is left when
no throws down the beater.
So absorbed in his work Is he that he
does rot hear the mutterings of dissatis-
faction that roat from the open windows
from which neighbors view his labors.
a. he bangs cloud after cloud of dust
from the carpet dovn the windows With
terrific 'huda until every ncighbor's fam
iiy sit in an alright house exchanging
unnsttering opinions of his activity
When tho last rus has received its rneed
" scourcing John looks w ~ the win
dovs whore the nrichhors little boys
are fsttening their noses and thanking
their stars that their ras have not the