davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Green Not nestfuI to the Eyes.

II seems as though cherished notions
were no sooner On an apparently hrm
foundation than some inconslderate
iconoclast comes along aud throws
them down. People have for many
years supposed that the color green
wns rostful 10 human eyes and have
been referred 10 tho green grass and
green foliage that nature has heen so
pl0digal with for the benefit Of weared
vision
Now. according 10 German profess.
or OF Berlin, unturo wasn't thinking
of human eyes when she made her pro-
fuse verdant display aud that her col.
or scheme was carried out absolutely
regardless OF the visual needs of hu.
mnnity, He says that green does not
protect the eye. and he denies that 1t
Inns any beneficial effects whatever.
He declares that green paper green
shades, green glusses, green dacora-
tions aud green umbrellas are all u
mistake aud that by increasing the
green light we are smply provoking
u nervous disturbance.
lie says that each OF the colors tires
a different set OF nerves OF vision, and
therefore looking AT one particular co
or saves one set OF nerves NJ the ex.
pense of another The best method,
be says, is 10 dim all OF the rays Of
light by smoked or gray glasses. which
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07

'T think" he began as he halted a
pedestrian, II think | made a mistake
with the cabman who drove nue. to the
Corcoran Art gallery. am quite sure
l gave him $40 bill, but he must have
mistaken it for 81 bill"
And you hope to find him again"
asked the man of the stranger to the
city.
"Why, yes. have hopes"
swell, you are about as green as they
make 'em. That cabman deliberately
swindled you out of many dollars"
~ can hardly believe it. He looked
90 honest and truthful that IL
"That you ought to have asked him
to hold your watch and the rest of your
money! My dear old Josh from the
cornfelds, let me say
At that minute a cab ratified up, and
the driver dismounted and said:
"See here, old man, there Is a mis-
take. You probably meant TO give me
So bill. and thought 1t was one when
gave you 81 in change"
"But think 1t was n ten, my friend"
mo; 1t was twenty, and | have
been driving about for half an hour to
find you and restore the money. Here
1t is"
"And what was . you were going to
say TO your dear old Josh from tho
cornhcldsT asked the old man as ht
turned to the wise person.
But the wise person was there nc
longer He was dying for car MS II
running for his life, Washington Post
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
The Other Man Owned II.


you had a horse standing ont here 2"
said the boy as he entered the corner
grocery and was asked what he want.
ed.
"WellT querlcd the grocer.
"IIe was hltched TO wagon?"
"Yes."
81 camc along with a tater In my
hand"
'Not doubt OF It."
And TO see II the horse was alive
l hauled Off and plunked him."
81 see. And he was nliye"
"Ile was, sir. He rca5ed up and thel
went running off as hard as he coul
60 and he's u mile away, aud the wa
on Is all Kicked to pieces by this time
"And, like truthful, honest lad, "
came In TO tell ne of Il and get yol
rewardT' qucrled the grocer,
'rhat's II, sir, You've got some b.
apples there, ana IL YOU thing
There, there, bub; run along, II
horse and wagon belong TO the hay,
ware man nest door ana II you go 1
and show your integr!ty he'll probah
reward you with paper of carp,
tacks."
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
BILL woo omAHT.
Indeed He was just TOO Smart For
Anything.


"NIy son Bill" said the old farmer,
"was Just too smart fur anything. |
had q big red bull, who used to git
loose once In awhile and lick every.
thing In the state, and Bill was ready
to bet his last cent on that critter. One
day when circus procession was COM
in ND the road Bill comes runnin from
the barnyard and says
"'Dad, I'm goin to let that bull out
"'Fur whyT says |.
"'Fur to see him hev fun with the
elephant
"'Don't you do nuthin Of the kind.
The elephant would break his back in
a holy mint
"'Never, ,ad-never! Our bull will
roar one roar dive one dive. and he'll
tumble that behemoth into the ditch
and then upset the band wagon. Dad,
it's the chance of our life to see heap
of fun
"Waal now," drawled the old man,
"Blll said so much that told him to
go ahead. Mebbe that bull smelt them
three elephants a mile away. fur when
he was let out he was ready fur O row.
He paved and bellered and worked his
mad up, and when the elephants finally
come along he selected the biggest Of
the three ard made fur him. One of
the circus men called out fur us to take
our critter away. but we was lettin him
take keer Of hlsself jest then. With a
beller and rush he was upon the ele.
phant, but things didn't happen as Bill
had planned 'em. Say, now. but that
big beast met our bull head on and
knocked him dat, and then he got his
trunk under him and flung him into O
swamp and never even looked back al
him. We went down to see our bull
and he had tears in his eyes, broker
leg and one horn gone. looks at Bill
and Bill looks at me, and bimeby
says:
"'Bill. this crltter cost me $40 In cash.
"'Don't say word. dad he says as
he sits down, with big sigh. 4 thought
was the smartest feller In this coun
ty, but was foolln myself. I'll worl
three months fur $15 n month and pay
fur the bull, and If I'm ever fool 'nuf
to buck up ag'in another elephant may
somebody kill me with crowbar"
M. QUAD.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
The Bontman,. Turn.


A boatman In the north Of England
having been engaged to row reverend
gentleman over rough part of river.
was very much annoyed at the manner
he was addressed by the clergyman,
the conversation commencing thus:
Clergyman--My dear man, have you
ever studied geology
Boatman--No. sor: Aa hewitt.
Clergyman Well. my friend. that's
part Of life lost, but you will prcba.
bly, know little theology"
Boatman turning quite irritabie>-.
No; IA knaw nowt aboot that either
Clergyman Well. that's another part
OF q life lost, my man
Nothing more was said, as the water
was turning very hoisterous and they
were in great danger when suddenly
the boat gave lurch and was cap
sized.
The boatman. being an expert swim.
mer. took the situation quite coolly.
while his companion, who knew moth
Ing OF the art of swimming, was strug-
Cling for life. The boatman. who was
making good progress toward terra
firma. accosted the clergyman with the
following:
IA say, mister, do We know onny-
thing aboot 'swimologyY
mo. my man; don't
"wey. what a pity" said the boat
man: there's Q whole life lost
Pearson's.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07

content. 1t Will prODaD.y never come.
but should you ever need a loyal friend
send for me- wherever may be-
Pardon me for ifitenupting so hap.
by an interchange of condolences"
sneered the Jealous claimant, who sud
denly appeared in front Of them. but
they are waiting for you TO sing and
naturally wondered where you were
hidden"
He led her away. but 1t was into the
hall "See here" be began, "it Is high
time that you and | understood each
other. | forbid you running after your
old flames. and particularly that cad
you have just left. We're the same as
married. and there was ring In that
chaps tone that I don't like and won't
have"
"And here's a ring that don't like
and won't have" One swift move.
ment, and he was alone. looking at the
sparkling solitaire In his hand. She
called at once on her loyal friend to
see her home, and there is not the
slightest chance that the real cad In
the case will be among the wedding
guests.-Detroit Free Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
He Yearned to De Helpful.

The thoughtful young man went out
to Glen Echo one evening last week,
and there wasn't thing that he could
see to do for anybody's comfort that
he didn't at once proceed to make an
accomplished fact. He was fairly bub-
bling over with desire to help his fell
low men. One of his fellow men, who
happened to be q woman, and young
one at that, sat directly in front Of
him. His eye caught sight Of large
spider on her fluffy black hair. He
leaned forward.
pardon mel" he said quickly. "Don't
novel l have 1t! There"
And with the triumphant "There!
a shrek from the girl startled ali the
car. The helpful young man sank back
In his seat. and an auction flag wasn't
a circumstance to his face for color. A
wire and enamel spider dangled from
the girls disheveled Washington
Post.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07

lar, and, that other men may not be
deceived by thee. wilt tear thee
DOWN.
He had seized the post to uproot It
when a second traveller appeared and
cried out:
"Ah, man, but what hast happened,
and what wouldst thou dot"
This guidepost hast lied to me, and
l wouldst destroy it." was the reply.
ut saith ten miles u Dawsonville,
whilst | know the true distance to be
but eight"
but, on the other hand, 1t saith
the distance to Hunkers Ferry is but
Eve miles, whilst know the true dis
tance ta >e seven. Let US pass ON to-
gether and stop at Cedar Hill, which Is
but four miles to rod and where the
first building we come to Is q saloon"
Moral, There is always an Offset for
every situation. M. QUAD.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
scotch Medicine.

A stranger came to a provincial
Scotch town one day. He looked some
what OF an Invalid. and he asked one
of the Inhabitants to direct him TO the
CHEMISTS shop.
'"rhe what, sir?"
''Tbe chemists shop"
"Aye. an what kin O. shops that.
na?"
"why. the place where you can buy
medicine"
"Eh. sir. we've nae sic shop as that
here"
MOP What do yon do, then. when
any one fails III? Do you take no medi
cineY"
"Deed. no: not drap We've just
whisky for the folk an tar for the
sheep. an that's a the fessick we deal
in."-London Answers.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07


You wouldn't think to look at him s-iayin sba
so meek, 1
With his chubby hands both folded underneath
his sunburnt cheek,
You wouldn't think to see the peace his sleepi
features take
Jest what holy terror be kin be vhsn' hsh
awakel
bet II you could get peep beneath those lashs
now
You'd end q spars Of mischief lurkiu in his sys
somehow,
An those curved lips that's nodded like . chernb'a
soft and sweet.
They're yearnin Jest to give q whodp that ~ouh
liit you Oh your feeti
Look at his rugged little cost s.hangin on tbs
chair;
Thar amt thing belongs to him that dons
show signs Of wear.
jest see them rusty little shoes. with both th
toes stumped out;
They give sort OF idea OF the way he gifts about
It's curious how little scamp liks that can tsh
part
In all your thoughts an fancies till he Oils tsl
lers heart
With the rattle an the prsttle that vou learn b
love somehow
Till you're lonesome when you miss It. Shi Grsa
Scottl He's wakin now!
Ida Goldsmith Morr
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Only n Woman,

The good man. weighing a hundred
stone, Knocked timidly at the portal of
the culinary department and as the
door swung heavily back upon its
hinges doffed his tattered hat and pit
eously whispered:
kind LADY,
'T'm not kind" she interrupted
rudely.
Excuse me, LADY,
Don't lady mev' was her quick re-
sponse.
Eyer don't mean ter say yer only q
womanT" he asked scarcely.
"That's what ami" she shouted.
And as the heavy bolts shot back
into their places the vagrant took an
other reef In the clothesline about his
waist and sighed. "Oh. my. why didn't
take notice of dat bicycle on de stoop
before spoke"--Leslie's Weekly.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07

An honored archbishop OF Dublin In
his declining days, when partly par
alyzed. was wont to creep from his
house door to Stephens green unat-
tended.
Upon one occasion be fell heavily to
the ground and was assisted TO his feet
by a bright little girl, who further Of
fered to see his grace home, On his
expressing his doubts as to her ability
to do so the girl replied:
"Oh. yea. I'm sure can. My fathers
the same every day "-Pearson's.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
The sleepy Man.

ssNurse saws the sleepy. man
10 coming. Let ussrun'.
And watch him through the keyholss
Twill be such glorious fun.
sT wonder what he looks like,
For nurse has often told
That he's great'grandpa to Santa Claus
Then he must be very DID,
30 they softly crept to the playroom. 4
Little Ted and blue eyed Nan,
And waited long and patiently
To see the sleepy man.
At last 1t came their bedtime,
And nurse looked all around
For Baby Nan and little Ted.
But neither could be found.
30 then she sought the plsyroom,
And, 10. behind the door
The sleepy man had 'taught them both
AND laid them, on Tue door,
New York Tribune.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Put Money Asta~.

Take 10 cents TO the nearest avail
able savings bank and deposit II 10
your credit Keep II up until yoD have
a dollar,
Don't wait TO do this until yon have a
situation DO II now lf You have
change for car fare. walk.
This is the only way to save money.
If you waiI until your 'alnry In raised,
or until you happen to have an errand
urar the savings bank. yon uIay be
dead before you Iny by n cent
There Is only one way to save money.
That ls to begin uow.-New York
Journal
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
He Was Eight.

Mr.. Meddergrass Well. say what
you please. but that feller at spoke at
tn rally las night told tn truth.
Mr. Foddershock--Git out! He's jest
as big liar as ever heard.
Mr. Meddergrass-N Nope; be told the
truth. When he started to speak. he
said he wasn't no orator. and. by ginger,
he wasn't Baltimore American.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
A ohnnr. In Leaalng Men.

They had been engaged for n whole,
week and met mt the same social rune
ton. After he had missed her for an
hour he explored the conservatory ana
was mean enough to listen TO con-
vcisation that she was having with a
young man whom she had rejected
that she might accept the eayesdrop'
per.
Believe me-" the discarded one was
saying. II wish you every happiness
thought all the time that you were
too good for me, aud ! think that ne
will make you the best OF husbands
1t is everything to me that you are
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
The Longest Word.

'Rob," said Tom. (which is the most
dangerous word TO pronounce in the
English langpageT
"Don't know, unless It's a swearing
word"
"Poohr said Tom. sits stumbled
because you are sure to get tumble
between the first and last letter."
"Ha. hav' said Rob. Now, I've got
one for you. found \ one day In
the paper, Which is the longest word
In the English languagey'
"Incomprehensibility," said Tom
promptly.
.No, sir; it's Smiles because there's
whole mile between the first and
last letter"
"Ho, hor'. cried Tom. that's moth
ing. know word that has over
three miles between its beginning and
ending" a
"What's that?" asked Rob faintly.
"Beleaguered," said Tom. = Pear
sons.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Boyhood,s Ha rnt..

Hol I'm going bach TO sstere
We were youngsters. Meet me there,
Dsar old bsreioot chum. and we
Will be as we used TO be
Lawless rangers up and down
"he old creek beyond the town.
<ittle sunburur gods at play.
Just as In that faraway
Water nymphs, all unatraid,
Shall smile Al us from the brink
Oi the old mill race and wade
Tow'rd us as we. knpeiing. drink
At the spr,ng our boyhood knew,
Pure and clear as morning dew.
And. as We are rising there,
Doubly dow'rd 10 heaI and see,
We shall thus be made aware ~
OF an eerie piping. heard
High above the happy bird
in the hazel. sud then We.
JUST across the creek. shall see
(Hah. tue goaty fascali Pan
Hoot II DER the sloping green.
Mad With his own melody
Aye. and tbless the beasty mani)
Stamping from the grassy coil
Bruised scents Of heur de-lis,
Boneset. mint and pennyroval.
James Whitcomb Riley
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07

''I1 proof Of the assertion that th,
world is growing better" remarked
Optlm. "let me mention the fact tina,
we never find stones In the coffee VIZ
buy at the grocery stores nowadays"
mo" growled Pessim. THE reason
for that is that most persons who buy
coffee have 1t ground when they bug
II. The grocers pick out the stones foi
fear Of running their mills. The world
is growing more enlightened in iti
selfishness; that's all."-Chicago Trib
une
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
A Little short.

At one OF the railway construction
works In Glasgow the other day cler.
gyman who takes q great interest In
the members OF bis flock engaged at
the cutting saw one of them entering
drinking place. He hailed him. but
Pat simply looked and walked In.
Waiting till he came out, the reverend
gentleman accosted him thus, pat
didn't you hear me calling?'
Yes, your rnvripce, | did, but--but
| bad only the price Of one" = Ex-
change.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Not Renlistic.

Little Donald-Papa, what does 1t
mean by Sitting like Patience on a
monument
Papa--Oh, suppose some fool OF a
sculptor once couldn't think of any
thing else to sculp, so he made the i'm
age of lady and set 1t on monument
to look as If she was waiting for some
body. 1t wasn't true to life, though.
Little Donald-Why?
Papa-Because the other fellow is the
one that always has to do the waiting,
Chicago Times-Herald.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Couldn't Do the Impossible.

No the citizen would positively not
buy any of the hair restorer.
do you think you can make mon
key of meY' he Missed, with asperty.
ooh, not at all" replied the vender
cheerfully I'VE don't pretend to be
able to restore the hair lost in the proc
ess Of evolutionW
An innocent bystander cracked a
faint smile. but otherwise all was still.
detroit JOurnnl.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
The Professor Explains.

'There is difference, young gentle
men," explained the professor, ''be.
tween 'sympathize with and 'sympa.
thize tor.' For example. when man 10
worsted In business deal the commu
nifty sympathizes with the skinner and
sympathizes for the skinnee."-Indian
apolis Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
installation Of Officers.

Akron Home Guards OF America
will give a public installation OF OH.
GERS and a very appropriate program
for the occasion. All friends of Home
Guards are cordially Invited, free, with
Invitation 10 dancing, at st. Georges
hall, 146 South Howard st.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
He Mny Hope To.

Agent--Wish to get an accident pol
icy--yes. sir. Live in New York?
Applicant--Yee.
Agent-How far can you jump, and
what distance can you cover In two
hops, three ,skips and leap?
"Eh? What do you. want to know
that forT'
"You expect to cross Broadway oc-
casionally, don't your-New York
Weekly.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07

SCOT that job O. cards done fur Doc
PillemT asked the Jayville editor.
eyes, it's DONE" replied his foreman.
"Joey made a leetle mistake a-settin 1t
up. Mebbe doc'll kick, but reckon it
amt SO fur wrong"
"What is it?"
"Joey made 1t Prescriptions Careful
Iy Confounded.' "-Philadelphia Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
Not K,II,ne H,mseIs.

McJigger--ls jerks still with your
arm?
Thingumbob--No he's his own boss
now.
McJigger--I suppose his work is pret-
ty easy then.
Thingumpob--Jus as easy as he
can make it. He's looking for a job
Philadelphia Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
His Multitudinous Superiority.

Little Willie-Pa says that old Mr..
Totterly. who died yesterday at the
age of 81, had children, % grandchil-
dren. SO graat-grandchlldren and 70
Observation-Disclosures.
Little Bob--Gee whiz! He had a
whole lot of kids that he could tell how
much smarter than them he'd beeL
when he was boy, didn't he?-Life.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
PAUL BOONE
Will Attend the Show.
He Is the Finest Dog In
the World.
Second Exhibition Will
Break Former Records.
Exhibit VIII Occupy Six
Stories.
Eminent Judges Will Pass Up the
Fine Points.

Fine Points.
The second annual exhibition Of the |
Akron Poultry and Pet Stock club
will be thrown open to the public |
Tuesday morning. The club has Sc.
cured excellent quarters In the Harter |
block, 1S2 s. Main St, and the ex-
hibit viii cover every floor in the six
story.
Preparations have been made for
cooping over 1900 fowls and the
entry list is much larger than any
ever presented at former shows.
In addition to the chicken show the club
has arranged several features that will
make the exhibit of more than ordi-
nary interest to the public.
A fine exhiblt'o on Of water fowls and
turkeys will he given in connection
with the display of blooded poultry
stock.
The dog show will be n
drawing card all the week. This de-
partment, although but recently estab-
l'shed has become a popular one and
many entries have been made.
One OF the best dogs In the United
States will be present. His name is
"Paul Boone and has won four filed
trials. He is three years old. The
animal is owned by DR. Boone of
Bellaire, o., and is valued at $4,000.
More Belgian hares will be at the
show than it has ever been the priv
ilege of Akron people to see, Some
of these have come from California
and are the best the land affords.
The pigeon exhibit is large and the
proud birds seem to enjoy the idea OF
being on parade.
The greater part of the exhibits will
not be put into the coops until Tues.
day morning. The breeders have ar.
rived In the city but the birds are being
kept in warmer place until the show
opens.
The club has been fortunate in Sc.
curing the services of the most emil
nent judges In the country. The scor-
ing judge for chickens is Mr.. f. b.
thinner OF Goversvllle, n Y, and
Mr.. John Davidson Of Monroe, Mich,
recognized as the greatest authority
on dogs in the world will pass upon
the CANNES. Mr.. Davidson will ofti,
ciate at the great New York shows
The pigeon judge is Mr., j. II. Wal
lace
The officers of the local club are as
follows:
President, j, NJ. LATER,
Vice presidents. II. b. Gregory, Wm
A. Orr, r.. o, Leberman, sam j. Hibbs
Recording secretary. ]. Asa Palmer
Financial secretary, IT, d. Kidder
Treasurer, Geo. C, Conger.
superintendent, Julius Frank.
Assistant superintendent, Geo. Ii
stickney.
Executive committee, NJ. LATER
w. A. Orr, r. o. Leberman, ]. A. Pal
ranper, G. G. Conger, C. L. stckney
'at,Robert Mairet, II. b. Gregory, sam ]
Hibbs, +. d. Kidder, julius Frank
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
uin unpieasing way.

"All the clerks in this bookstore
detest that man"
"lsn't he a good customer?
81 should say not! He's always
coming in here and wanting to buy
some book we haven't got."--Chicago
Record.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
II Was strictly Modern.

"She has received n strictly up to
date education. you say?"
"Well. rather, She hasn't a bit OF
practical knowledge about household
Affairs. but she has more theories than
you conid ket in hook. and she can
talk about parliamentary law In way
that will make her shine In any wo
mans club you can pick out."-Chicago
Post.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1901-01-07
An Odd Euitaph.

A visitor TO cemetery at South YER
non, N H.. will find the following upon
IA gravestone there:
oh, be she went. and am she gone
And left poor here all alone?
Oh. cruel fate, TO be so blind
To take she tore and leave 'hindi
Her can never come back to we,
But us must surely go to she.