Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1901-01-17
THE BARRIERS TRAITS.
The "TOnsOrfal Artist is Cram e. IL
Full of Peculfarities.


did it ever strike you that barber IS
different from most men, and altogether
both an amusing and aggravating artist
at his trade?" inquired the man with the
watery eyes and running nose OF the dog
faced young man in the next waiting chair.
NO" responded the dog-faced young
man, langudly, II can't truthfully say that
what little intellect l possess has been lam
basted by such thought A barber. to me,
is just a barber"
"A barber" declared the watery-eyed
man, with emphasis, lis very peculiar in
dividual. His idiosyncrasies. however, are
largely the result of his environment. OF
the many different trades. that of the bar
Der affords to me the keenest study"
60 on, said the dogfaced young man,
waking up; but remember that I'm
next"
"A barber" resumed the man with the
nose, lis a man to whom no original ideas
ever come. A barber with an original idea
would be as rare as barber without
tongue. Behold my watery eyes; look Ions
upon my red, running nose Imagine my
loss of appetite, my congested head, my
tasteless mouth, my furred tongue, my
feverish pulse, my debiltated system, my
angry frame of mind, and my ability to
utter five swear words where yesterday one
would have been an effort. To what would
you attribute the cause Of all this?"
Grip" ventured the dog-faced young
man, politely.
Grip? No, SIR! exclaimed the SICK man,
fiercely. "a barber sir; a barber is the
cause! Whether the thermometer registers 50
in the shade or so below, tbs the same with
the barber. After he shaves you what does
a barber do? He wraps towel around his
right hand, skates to the hotwater faucet.
which is always boiling hot by reason of
being kept constantly running, soaks the
towel and places that caloric. steamng
compress upon your face and throat, and
leaves it on a surface already with pores
open and tender because of the application
Of hot lather and the razor. And then what
do you do? Answer me, Sir!
"Get our Of the chair, put on my collar
and coat and pay the boss barber" sug-
gested the dog-faced young man, meekly.
PAY a doctor, sir!' shouted the fierce
gentleman, angrily; "for, just as soon as
cold strikes you in the throat and head.
you strike for home, and the doctor later
strikes for his bill.
IF barber was anything else than a
barber he'd have sense enough to know
that hot applications should not be made
to the face after shaving In winter. But.
being a barber, he thinks because it Is cold
out of doors his customers should have hot
applications to the face instead Of tepid, or,
better still, moderately cold towels. Thou
sands of men take severe colds annually
from this senseless practice, and do not
know the cause.
Curious people are these tonsorial ma
nipulators of the clicking shears, n:mble
comb, rasping brush, strop-strop razor, po-
matum pot, witch hazel face wash, brlilian-
tine, dandruff cure, hair restorer, mustache
grower, violet toilet water, alum-lump,
poWder-puff, eau de cologne and the large
and the close clippers.
'If a man is partially bald they brush his
scanty side and top locks backward, so that
the bald or stubble fields will be accen-
tuated instead Of covered by being brought
forward. just because they brush head
with locks like those of Samson backwards.
Discrimination is a word not yet inserted
in the BARRIERS vocabulary.
"And they never fail to gracefully place
their left forefinger on the forelock on each
side of the part as they artistically Ito
them) twirl the comb in their right and roll
the hair up like the surf on the beach as it
curls in after storm. II You wish your
hair brushed down you must say SO, be-
cause BARRIERS have from time immemorial
curled It up and the habit will be passed
along for generation to generation to the
end Of time.
There is no more reason why you should