The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-09-08
THE VOICE OF The PULPIT
PARENT AND CHILD: LEARNING
THE ART OF FAMILY CULTURE.
BY Rev. Mary r. whitney, of n. f..
Moral Education Society and Minis
ter Unity Church, South Boston.

Honor thy father and thy mother
Exodus xxi, II.
This command should come first TO the
parents and afterward to the children.
Fathers and mothers must lay the founda-
ton for honor # they expect children to
honor them.
The word honor, 1 believe. should be
taken, not in a superficial way, as though
1t meant simply an outward, formal defer
ence. but in its real meaning. which is rev.
erence or respect paid to a person because
OF true worth.
A representative OF the commonwealth
is properly accorded a certain quality of
honor because of the office he holds.
whether or not he may be respected for
himself. So also there is a certain respect
and honor due to the office or position of
the parent. and custom should undoubtedly
demand that every child conduct himself
in respectful way to his father and
mother. If for other reason than that
they are his parents.
But when we come to talk about child
honoring his father and his mother in any
true sense. which is to give them the gen
uine homage OF his heart il depends en-
tirely upon what they themselves,
whether he can do it or not
Now consider what qualities always COM
mand respect, for children not diff
ferent from grown people in this matter;
they respect the same qualities in human
nature.
First, then. everybody respects power and
has contempt for weakness. So. if we
are to be honored by our children we must
be strong. and the stronger we are the
more honor we shall get, and every kind
of strength counts. Just the child learns
to recognize physical force, so he very
soon learns to measure intellectual and
moral force.
And right here is very important thing
for us to consider. A child is OF necessity
weak. He is weak physically and We have
at the first to carry him gently in our
arms, then when he begins TO creep we
have to guard him from danger. and when
he begins to try to walk we have to sup
port him till little by little his limbs ac-
quire strength. Our strength of body has
to serve him in his physical weakness.
Now why is it we do not realize that we
must be to him morally and intellectually
just what we are physically. A child's
mind and moral nature are weak like his
body. and until he is full grown he needs
to lean up against the superior wisdom and
virtue of the parent
What mother is there who would push
her baby over when he had climbed to his
feet and stood smiling up 10 her face in
the joy of having done so much for him
self?
But little later that same little one is
making another climb. This time it is his
mind that wants to learn to walk, and he
comes to her with eager question.
hat cha sha
pushes him back with falsehood, such
innocent" falsehoods some mothers do
tell their children: perhaps she says, "Oh,
don't bother with your everlasting
questionsr or just slips away and doesn't
answer him at all, and leaves him to fall
for want Of support
NEEDS SUPPORT
The weak mind of the child just as nat
urally leans up against the strong mind of
the parent its weak body leans up
against the strong body. His struggle with
the world has just begun. He is trying
with all his might to get acquainted with
his environment and to understand what
there is about him.
Think too what il is for children as they
grow older to keep finding that their par
ents have misrepresented things TO them,
and that the world and life are quite differ
ent from what they have been led to be-
lieve
They need moral bracing from the strong
moral character Of their parents, and here
is where parents have got to say: You
must and you must not" and then be the
unyielding force that compels them to obey.
Sam Jones tells about a man with a
cotton string for backbone"
Morally, children have such backbones as
that, and if their parents haven't any good
strong spinal columns for them to lean up
against, there is little hope of their going
right.
We discuss the question of methods Of
punishment. but If parents had more back
bone-more strength OF character as a
guide and support-there wouldn't be so
much need of punishment of any kind. The
weaker the parent the more punishment
the child receives
There is a weak sort OF parental senti-
mentalism which pampers and INDUCES
children and handles them in a lax way,
and what does ii lead to? Ii leads to law
lessness and contempt the part of the
children and to a habit of threatening and
hopeless despair the part of the parents
That sentimentalism isn't love. Love is
something stronger than that. 1t can say
NO as well as \ eS. 1t can command
as we'll as yield. The only kind OF love
that child really respects and honors is
that which has authority back of 1t. And
we do not realize how children and all weak
people feel the need of being directed. So
let US never think We can gain the love or
respect of our children by indulgence and
a weak management. Nothing can take
the place of strength.
Another thing that people honor Is wis
dom.
Every child begins by thinking that his
parents know everything. But while that
first illusion must of necessity be dispelled.
yet there is no reason why we should sit
still and let our children go far ahead Of
us while We are learning nothing.
They may learn much that we cannot
have an opportunity to learn. but let us be
learning something all the time If we are
not, we shall find them, very soon, looking
down upon from their superior knowl-
edge and taking account of our ignorance
and nobody has any respect for igno-
rance.
How many women give up their accom-
plishments. largely. soon as they well
come the first baby! How many men set
tie down TO business and drop all reading
except the daily paper!
Then, again. everybody respects good
I