Daily Kennebec journal., 1901-09-09
HIS EXPERIENCE.
4 Youth Returns Unexpectedly
from Summer Vacation.
He Cuts Big Figure With the Ladies
Of the Party.
II Don't Care u Ne Never Comes Back" Was
Played at His Departure.


from his summer vacation. And VINO
is not singing Watts hymns-not so
you'd hear them. And when he tells
of the trials and tribulations of his va
cation trip the atmosphere is filed
with sort of vapor that reminds one
of Faust or match factory. And
when his friends call him up by tele
phone and gently murmur vacation he
seems to feel that the great round
world is up against him and the lurid
sound that comes waited over the
wire is warm enough to burn out the
connections, swivel up the diaphram
and give the receiver a bad case of ear
ache.
Now this youthful prodigy with the
elderdOwn cheek pushes goods across a
great big board counter six days out
of the week for consideration Umit-
ed and when the Sabbath comes
around he puts away all worldly
things and dresses up too cute for any
thing and accompanies cousin Hester
to church where he sits fer hours on a
hard board and learns all about Daniel
and the lion. How Daniel with honied
words and a stuffed club crawled un-
was turned and tried to film fam the
king of beasts out of his birth right
and how the lion winked the other eve
and told Daniel in no uncertain tone
that he couldn't run that caucus while
he was chairman.
After listening to this blood curdling
story that made the cold chills play
tag up and down his vertebrae the
boy concluded that the heat and dust
OF this big overgrown city was too
much for his constitution and as the
boss. like Barkis. was willing. he made
up his mind to shake the dust from
his sandals and rusticate in the coun-
try and show the people along the line
of free rural delivery that he was the
real thing. unadulterated. chemically
pure. with blood buer than indigo.
with a family tree bigger than char
ter oak and an ancient lineage that
could be traced back TO the time Adam
and Eve had that dispute about the
big red apple and Adam went to board
with another family.
After packing his grip and selecting
the locality he was TO honor with his
presence he dons his golf panties. soft
shirt front. little coat, fieur-de-lis hat
and embarked by stage. c. Q. ID. In
Cue course of time he arrived at his
destination. He had an idea that his
advent into the quiet country village
would create as mucn excitement as
Sheridans ride from Winchester.
But the triumphant arch of welcome
and the pathway strewn with flowers
failed to materialize and even the
hn
dress in white and sing America. were
conspicuous by their absence.
Om hero found himself domiciled in
a large old-fashioned farm house on
the shore of the lake whose well kept
lawns and shady verandas were con
ducive to comfort The house was
filled to overlooking with a mixed par
ty of twenty fFbm Boston's smart set
who proceeded to size him up for what
he was worth. When he came TO reg
lister he uncoupled his name and parted
II in the middle SO as TO give it tone
He played golf and lawn tennis like
a blooming swell, flirted outraGcousiy
and cut considerable congealed water
with the ladies of the party. One in
particular thought he was little the
cIeverest thing that had blown her
way for wears He posed as "A profes-
sional gentleman Of some literary
taste.
The daily mail for the house WAS
brought in and laid on the dining room
table and each one picked out their
own. Some friends of this young Sclrn'
knowing Of this custom. and his pro-
pensity to soar to a lofty height Wheh
all if cost was Il little effort and I'D
eral supply of balloon food. thought II
would he a real live Oke to trim the
hov a little. so sent him. in care OF the
house "A great big postal card WIN
borrid black letters which read:
Dear Ed:
The man who took your place ana
collects the swill while you are away
has struck. Come home at once or
loose your customers.
Yours.
Tom
.rhe yo,ng man was out when the
| mail arrived and the great horrid pos
tai card laid on the table and all the
| ,iddv girls read it and made all sorts
| Of unkind remarks and when the dear
! hoy saw that card he came near faint
;ng He tried hard \to smile but his
| swas like the face of "a hired mourner
lat a pauper's funeraA
i He stood it for one more day ana
X ,,o,, ,npoupced the fact that he must
ta.r himself away frdm the pleasant
Nocr,nany E,ntreaty was of no avail.
| He packed his grip and with tears III
his ewes as big as grapes and with
| ho.r, heavier than a (lcaf of cooking
schoo, sponge cake bid the party.
"C;oodbve." and boarded the stage for
home. As he drove out Of the yard. the
young lady in the next mouse plaSeu
that sweet old symphony ooh
Care If He Never Comes back