Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-12-21

TkuWAT0SA PRINTING co., Publishers.
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE:
ONE YEAR~........-..... SlsOO
.-----------------------
~-~~-o-~-~-~~~---~->~-~
II Humorous Items. -
s~-o-~o~~~-~-~~o-~~-~--~~o
Bass-"WIlis calls his wife Birdie"
Fogg-" Making game of her: ! See
Boston Transcript.
When it comes to winter and wet
weather the most sentimental of us pre-
fer hard coal to poetic fire.-Atlanta Con
stituti0n.
Stonebrokc-" you think your father
would object to my marrying yGu|
Heiress-"I don't know. If he's any
thing like me he would. - Tit Bits.
She-"I don't see why women shouldn't
make as good swimmers as men,
He-'Yes; but you see IA swimmer has
10 keep his mouth shut. Harlem Life.
Footc Lighte-"Wby DO they call that
fellow in your compars FrankfurterE
Sue Brette-"Beca'.s h. fills role so
nicely, | suppose. YOnkers Statesman.
\ Darwinian.- Isobel-"How perfectly
your frock fits dear. ] thought You col
Hypatia-"Oh. no! We believe in the
survival If the best fitted. Life.
"Wouldnt it be dreadful?'
''WOuldn't What%'
wouldn't it be dreadful if the shoot
ing stars got to shooting one another by
mistaken Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Madam, said the facctious boarder
10 the landlady, ARE these storage
rggsP Il think they must be-" replied
the lady; you appear to have stored
away five of them."-Clcvcland Plain
Dealer.
What Did He Mean oh. father"
exclaimed the budding poet bursting into
the library, Il had a poem published"
Serves you right snapped the father.
without locking up from his bOok--Ohio
State Journal.
Friend-'I spose some Of de customer,
ncbbah tip at allF"
The Waiter-"Dat's right. We does
our best to discourage dem from comm,
but some is mighty hard to get rid Of
i'JOUhI9 II i4ilt.
"Bixley has made a great nit with his
dialect stories"
Yes the book is bound so beautifully
and the price is so low that a grpa
many people buy it to give it away
Philadelphia Times
est?"
IAN his money is marked. and if a dol
lar of il gets into circulation we know K
and promptly jump ON his bondsmen. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Reporter did your club banquet
20 OFF, Smithson-"Not so well as ii
might have done, you know. The chair
man called upon me (who had lost an
eye and Il legl to answer to the toast
Our Absent Members. "-Tit-Bits.
Tom-"Yes, we had quarreled, but |
WAS determined 70 see her."
Dick-"Huw did YOU manage itT
Ton-'When l called told the maid
TO say II was society reporter who
wanted TO see her. Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Goodman-"Y little playmate
seems sad" Wille-"YeS, sir. He had
ter stay home from school yistidy $500"
The idea, And he's sad on that az
count?' mo. sir: it's because he had
ter come back ter school today. '-Phila
delphia Record.
Suspense" hunting todayF"
Yes" said the amateur. with the wild,
apprehensive look in his eye. Have YOU
shot anything?' Il don't know yet
I'm waiting for the rest of the party to
get into camp so that we can call the
roll. Washington Star.
Realistic, Mamma For goodness
sake Elsie, why are you shouting in
that disgraceful fashion? Why can't
YOU be quiet like Wilhe?" Elsie-"He
has to he quiet. the way we're playing.
He's papa coming home late. and I'm
you. Philadelphia Press.
Casey--,",Costigan got bis life insured
Conroy was thaty"
Casey-"He borrowed bob nv tn
foreman, and the foreman won't put him
on Il dangerous job ms long as he owes
him the money. "-Tit-Bits.
Polite Sarcasm-Mr TightfSt-"rm
always willing to help deserving I'M
fortunate. Here is cents; now don't
spend it for drink" Tramp Certainly
III surely buy set of winter hannelx."
Chelsea tMass.( Gazette
Towne-"Nurich has begun to blow
about his family tree lately"
Browne-"ies; he's Just discovered
that he had one
= Towne--"But is il any good?"
Browne--"As trees so. yes. believe
it's rather shady. "--Philadelphia Press.
The Judge Knew Him. Magistrate
Won have been behind the bars several
times, haven't you?"
Prisoner-"Wcll-er-I have hcen----''
Magistrate--"l thought SO. Your face
is very familiar"
Prisoner-"As | was sayin, I'm n bar
tender. philadelphia Press.
Tiny Christmas Trees as Gifts.
Il has become quite fad to send min
iturp Christmas trees ~ Gifts 1,},o,. i, =.