Sunday morning globe., 1901-11-24
The Kind Of Letter Commissioner
Evans Ought to Write.
TELLING THE HONEST TRUTH
Instead Of the Document furnished tho SsOre-
tay Of The lniedOr-HOW the Manipulation
Of Facts and Figures arc Executed BY tho
Pension Commissioner and His Corps OF
SyOOphants.

nave LufMsned the secretary Of the
Interior with a truthful and very in
teresting report Of his administration
Of the affairs of the Pension Office for
the past four years Of his incum.
bancy, but he preferred to submit
long, dry treatise on the evil proper.
ties of the Washington pension shark,
the mental weakness and moral de-
pravity Of the Spanish war soldiers
and the misfortune a small pension
confers upon a young man, for the
reason that IL puts him to a decided
disadvantage in the race for a liveli.
hood always thereafter in the way Of
securing employment" Had Mr.
Evans the official honesty to rise
above the desire to pervert and dis
tort official facts his report would
read about as follows:
SIR; In submitting my report of the
| operations of the Bureau Of Pensions
for the fiscal year ending June 80,
| 1901, l have the honor to invite your
attention to the way / have trampled
on the civil service law and destroyed
every vestige Of the merit system.
/ within the short space of four years
! / have accomplished this commend
able work so thoroughly that l can
state TO you without fear of successful
/ contradiction, that my successor viii
not be embarrassed by the merit sys-
! tenn 10 has been the good fortune Of
| the Federal officers under my admin
! istratiOn to have entered upon the
! discharge Of their duties under hap
pier auspices than those which at
| tended my induction into the Office of
! Commissioner of Pensions Being bit
! terly opposed to the civil service law
! I had concluded to trample upon it
and render il null and void in the Pen
| sion Office. But being we'll aware that
! I would have to choose my assistants
| from among the Republicans who had
been protected by the civil service
statutes during two Democratic ad-
ministrations. / was apprehensive lest
/ would have difficulty in finding chiefs
of divisions who would cooperate
heartily with me in the cOmmendable
work of destroying the merit system
which had been nurtured and strength
ened under the honest and faithful
enforcement Of the civil service laws
from the date of its enactment, Janu-
airy 16. 1888. But all my doubts and
]
assistants to a man were willing to aid
me i'm every way to destroy an insti-
tuition that had thrown q protecting
arm around them and retained them
| I'm soft cOZy berths for eight years
The eagerness, the unseeming haste
which these alleged civil service re-
| forms manifested to attack the merit
! system astOunded me. I thought that
! 1t would require a great deal of per-
suasion, bullying and browbeating to
| convince them that the civil service
! law was a sham and a humbug, but I
was happily mistaken Davenport
! Bayly, Dalton, Warfeld, Campbell
! Garrison, Alexander and Wilhite all
seemed to thirst for the hearts blood
Of the merit system, When the op-
portunity presented itself, they tore
and rended the very system that stood
| between them and the Associated
! Charities during two adverse admins
| trations. However their loyalty to
me cannot be questioned, they were
ever ready and anxious to violate the
civil service law, whenever desired It,
I assumed the duties Of my exalted
Office May 10, 1897 and | Immediately
commenced hOstilities on the civil
service law, and by July I, I had
about ever good Democrat in the Office
reduced or fired. Oh, but it was de-
lightful work II is with a feeling Of
fendish delight that would cause
Mephistophles, whom they say / re-
semble, to turn green with envy, that
my mind reyerts to these happy days
How I enjoyed reducing an intelli-
| gent and efficient clerk. Some fellow
that had spent three years studying
law and who had especially qualified
! himself for the discharge Of his duties
gave me the highest pleasure But I
must bandon those pleasant by ways
of history and state how my worthy
patriotic chiefs conspired with me to
not only violate the civil service law.
| but to hoodwink the Democratic mem
| bers of Congress You see your pre-.
| deCessor was a civil service reformer
In a diluted way, and he was opposed
/ to my dismissing Democrats on parti-
/ san grounds, and he finally concluded
/ he would not consent to another dis
/ missal So I was obliged to cast about
/ for some way of beating the devil
around the stump. One day I conceiv.
ed the idea Of appearing before the
Committee on Appropriations and ask
for the authority to drop 100 superan-
nuated and inefficient clerks. That old
Democratic fox, Senator Cockrell, sus-
pected me Of some trickery and then
and there compelled me to promise
that only superannuated and ineffi-
cient clerks should be dismissed This
put me in a quandary. If I kept my
promise what would become Of old
Shaw at 81 800: Nc. MILAN, at $1,000;
Moore. at St8O0. Tompkins, at s1,800
and the scores Of others at $1,000 and
S1.4O0. I realized that I or rather the
superannuated we're in for IT, unless
something was done. I called my
chiefs in council and explained the aw
| ful predicament I was placed in. One
cheerful idiot suggested the idea OF
marking every Democrat fair" on the
efficiency record and then constituting
"fair" TO mean enther superannuated
or inefficient or both. An excellent
idea assure you. Old Shaw's month
" Report did excellent service during
this irving nerlod, and I shall never
forget how many excellent Democrats
nv chiefs marked fair" I made one
a..ftt.h b,1 hwooH dtautecad n man