davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Beautiful and Suitable.

"Show me mans pictures and III
show you his character" well-known
statesman once said He referred, per
haps, more particularly to collectors;
but the same remark applies though
in a lesser degree, to the average house
holder of the present day. A few-very
few-good engravings, with a nice
water color drawing or two, tell tale
Of refinement especially If they are
well hung. For, take picture, in from
the left, and hang it where the light
from the nearest window Is thrown on
1t from the right, and the beauty Of the
work cannot possibly be appreciated
Pay some attention, too, to the height
at which the artists light has come dl-
rectly your pictures are suspended.
Some are seen at their best when ON a
level with the eye, while others require
some altitude to show them to advant
age. When, however, picture is 'hung
high" the angle at which 1t Is placed
from the wall should be carefully stud
led and regulated by the distance from
the top Of the frame at which the two
screw rings for its wire are fastened
Tastes In frames vary, and no hard
and-fast line can be laid down. The
hideOus old massive" gilt frames, with
their detestable carving and moulding,
are thing of the past. They always
seemed to be rivaling the picture itself
in attracting notice. Prints and en-
craving show best, think, in oxford
frames Of oak, light or dark, according
to fancy. but always unyarnished. If
of light wood, small ebony pins at the
corners, sides and top and bottom
cross, are an Improvement. Frames
of eboDized wood harmonic with pho.
tographs For water-colors | like a
plain bead" frame of dull oil gilt; but
the mount" must be large, and the
drawing sunk little If 1t is to show to
advantage. Finally, have too few
rather than too uany pictures on your
walls.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Really Too Bad.

The fair young society lady was in
an agitated frame of mind when she re-
turned from a shopping expedition the
other day.
why, Dorothy, what in the world ia
the matter" asked her indulgent hus-
band, who read distress in her pretty
face.
'Oh, dear" she said, her voice trem-
bling with emotion i've lost the re-
ceipt for my new hat"
WELL" the husband replied, at ID
very easy to so back to the store and
get another receipt, don't see why
you should let little matter like that
worry you"
1T isn't that" was the sobbing re-
ply. but I'm afrGd that some one we
know will find that receipt and learn
how much paid for it-"-Detroit Free
Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

In the winter before Lincoln was nomi-
mated for President he visited Kansas,
and made speeches at Troy and Atchison.
At the hotel in Atchison where he stayed,
Gen. Stringfellow, John A. Martin and
Judge Foster called upon him. In the
course of the conversation Mr.. Lincoln
turned to Gen. Strngfellow, who play
ed prominent part in the effort to bring
Kansas into the Union as a slave State.
Gen Stringfellow," he said, you pro-
slavery fellows gave as one reason why
slavery should not be prohibited in Kan
sas that only the negro could break up
the tough prairie sod. Now, I've broken
hundreds of acres of prairie sod in my
time, and the only. question which re-
mains to be decided is whether am
white man or a negro"
Gen. Strngfellow laughingly admitted
the force of the quaint argument, and
congratulated Mr.. Lincoln upon his point
ed, logical way of putting things.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
LINCOLN AS A LAWYER.
How the Immortal "Abe" Won HI
Ea-Iw Gucooz. 4 a. n

How the Immortal "Abe" Won His
Early Successes at the Par.
A suit was brought In the United
States Court in Springfield against citi-
zen for an infringement of patent right.
Mr.. Lincoln went to the most skilled ar
chitect in the city, inquired how he spent
his winter evenings, and received the re-
ply: IF times are brisk | sometimes
work; otherwise | have no special busi-
ness" Mr.. Lincoln said: Il have pat
ent right case in court; | want you as a
partner, and will divide fees. | know
nothing about mechanics-never made 1t
it a study. | want you to make a list of
the best works on mechanism, as | don't
suppose they can be purchased here. |
will furnish the money, and you can send
to Chicago or New York for them.
want you to come to my house one night
each week and give me Instructions" In
a short time he had witnesses to meet
him, and they were thoroughly drilled.
When the trial commenced, Mr.. Lincoln
put his questions at the cross-examina-
tion so scientifically that many witnesses
were bothered to reply. When his wit
hVsSSS NtiS put ou lhe otdHu, 81 sAllllul
were his questions that the court, the
jury and the bar wondered how abe
Lincoln knew so much about mechanism.
His witnesses could reply promptly, He
gained the suit and reputation such
that Mr.. Lincoln was sustained in every
patent right case brought into that court,
up to the time he went to Washington.
He went to Chicago, st. Louis Iowa.
Ohio, Kentucky and Michigan to try pat
ent right cases, and the last year of his
practice did little else.-Thomas Lewis
"Recolections of Lincoln" in Leslie's
Weekly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

the law, but glories If she will in her
guile and in the magnitude of her deed.
Whether the bonds of inOpportunty had
shackled Hanora Ryan or whether she
had preferred maiden triumph to the
exultation of matronhood deponent say
eth not. Anyhow, to get back to the
truth about Tobias. On one memorable
midsummer eve he devoured lemon pie
without protest Hanora knew he
loathed lemon pie. On the following
toast she set before him, instead of his
regulation potato and rasher This was
her second test. For Tobias had frank
ly declared only two weeks ago that
he would eat no more French, or Flem-
ish, or-no, begorrah- toast, that
was made of stale bread dipped in egg
and fried! So there! She began to feel
suspicious. He was a good brother,
but alarmingly docile when presented
with viands for which he possessed an
aversion.
She was like the parrot which its
owner declared said little but done a
devl of a heap of thinkin'P' She
thought a good deal In those days.
When Tobias suggested bringing a
friend home with him to dinner she
thought more than ever, albeit she pos
sibly said less.
ITO be bringin' man here for a
mailer quoth she. what kind Of a
man might he be now, Tobias?'
"Sthraight as they make 'emw
promptly responded Tobias. HE
drives the rush bus. He's a good wan.
He'd relish one of your raspberry rolls
that he would, Hanoraw Whereat
Hanora blushed in wintry sunset sort
of way and said he might bring his
friend
He did bring his friend. And-to tell
the truth-Hanora looked exceedingly
well. She had given her old black silk
skirt dip" whatever that mysterious
phraseology may mean. And she wore
with this shirt waist of softest lawn,
which she had bought at quite an abb
surd figure because it was one of the
smaller sizes, This she had duly and
delcately laundered. Not that
"The household art was the only dover
She would bring for gift to him she
we'd"
But the household art shone up in re.
splendence on that particular night.
Never. thought treacherous Tobias,
with a glow at his heart. had any man
such sister, aud If 1t were not for the
here he broke Off in an agony of de-
ception which made him temporarily
oblivious of the merits of the raspberry
roll
"You amt eat bIter' avowed Hano-
ra.
Tobias made sweeping gesture
across his Adams apple. CLEAR to
herer' he declared with delicious men,
dacity.
After supper they went into the par.
lor. Hanora played on the organizes,
and sang, too. in a sweet thin little
voice. She sang The Meeting of the
Waters" and The Kerry Dancing" and
the Wearing Of the Green" No rag.
time for Hanora.
shes a jewelr' commented Dennis
Mcguire. addressing Tobias Ryan
when they parted ON the sidewalk
"Aln't-aln't'-t there any wan
a-coortin'T
"Niyir a wan!S returned Tobias.
He felt so guilty upon his return he
could hardly make the proper responses
to the decade" which Hanora was
"glvius out" He did not come home
until 10 o'clock the following night
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
----------------- ---------------------
A CLEVER LINCOLN STORV.
Travels All the Way from Berlin for
This Years. Celebration.

Travels All the Way from Berlin for
This Years Celebration.
Here is a new Lincoln story that has
never been published. 1t was told to a
Chicago man a few weeks ago by gen
tleman living in Berlin, Germany:
Two hero worshipers had long desired
to meet Abraham Lincoln, but when the
coveted privilege was finally granted they
were unspeakably disappointed in the
personality of the rail-splitting President.
They gazed at him in silence and then one
of them exclaimed in a dissatisfied voice:
"Why, Lincoln is just common look
ing man like us"
The great emancipation turned to the
speaker and said genially:
"Yes, my friend, but have the conso.
lation of knowing that God loves COM
mon looking men!"
How do you make that put?" Queried
the other interestedly.
"Oh. because he made so many Of
them"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
q t took Hanora quite a time to fnt

81 I took Hanora quite a time TO ind
out the truth about Tobias. Not
that Tobias could ordinarily be oep'
sidered mysterious individual. In
deed, he was precisely the reverse.
From the cool dawn hour In which he
arose TO go forth and drive the team
for Twist & Taifeta. of which firm he
was trusted collector, until his return
at $3.50 to the modest fiat where his Sis
ter-and supper-awated him, his life
was a clean and commonplace page,
spread wide for every casual or inter-
ested glance. His nights, II less ex-
posed TO the arc lights of public scru-
tiny, might as well have been so. For,
after eating heartily Of the food Hanora
had prepared and referring to the same
in admlring terms, he was wont to re-
move his shoes as unnecessary impedi-
menta, place his feet in their we'll
darned hose upon the chair 'beyant"
light his pipe, drink the solitary bottle
of beer Hanora permitted him, and read
the mighty accumulation Of both morn
Ing and evening papers until the auto
cratic splnster who ruled his abode sug-
gested "a decade and turned the lamp
low by way Of a gentle but quite sutti-
cient hint.
Tobias was 40-plus FIVE. He had a
brlckdust skin. pale brows, pugna-
eious nose, and smile of such sudden,
suf'using. apolOgetie radiance II ex-
planned his love for his fellow-men In
general and for HanOra in particular.
Indeed, his was the only love that had
ever come Hanora's way. She had
never been guilty Of that form of high
way robbery known as coquetry Not
that she was unsophlstlcated. She
knew that woman quick of perception
and adroit of finger may appropriate
the purse Of one who walks her way
and suffer incarceration. And she
knew also that one who possesses her
self of an unappropriated masculine
heart not only goes free in the sight of
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
SIG REsENrs "RuLEs."
Wife says Her Husband Piastera the
House with orders,

housG Win OFQtIat
George s. Edgar, Of Allegheny, Pa.
received a fortune OF $200,OO0 from bis
fathers estate several years ago. Re.
Gently his wife appealed to the courts
to have the money placed In her care
for the support OF herself and family,
alleging her husband was an habitual
drunkard, posted notices throughout
the house for her guidance, kept
wealthy friends from visiting her, and
she had to extract money from him to
live on while he was. In drunken stu.
pors, says the Syracuse Herald Part
Of the rules posted by Edgar were read
In court, as follows:
Il am TO be boss of the house. am
to be master and head Of the house,
and must be respected. am to handle
all moneys. No servants shall be EN-
ployed without consulting me. No SER
wants shall be dismissed without con
sulting me. My wife shall not speak
to servants unless II Is extremely nee
essary. My wife shall not dismiss help
without my consent, unless II Is under
extreme proyocatlon; then she can dis
miss them during my absence or with
out my consent. All purchases, such
as vegetables, groceries, clothing for
wife and children, to be bought with
my personal consent or by written or.
der. My children shall be taught to
respect me. In correcting my children
no pick handles, rolling pins or sad
irons shall be used. No presents shall
be given TO anyone nor old clothing dis.
posed of without my consent Nothing
whatever shall be bought without con.
sultlng me.
"All parties whose names appear on
card In ball rack shall be excluded
from my house and other parties that
mention hereafter namely: Dr. c. ].
Knaur, for having me come to r. B.
Scandretts office. an old schoolmate
of mine thereby humlliatlng me; Mrs.
G. ]. Knaur, for going to Joe Waits,
friend Of mine, and Walter Shep and
saying | was drunk all the time; Mrs.
Mary Bollenberg, for having ME arrest
ed for calling her brazen hussy; Fred
Bollenberg for writing me a challenge
to fight a duel; Mrs. Maggie Hopkins,
for saying lived In Millionaires' row,
which consider is between Ridge and
Western on Irwin avenue, while live
at 1866 CHARTERS street. so cannot
live In Mlllionaires row, and that my
wife was not living with me because
was always drunk"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
ST VALENTINES WISDOM.

Cupid sat near TO ST. Valentine,
He was sorting out bis darts,
Repairing bis bow and bis culver,
Aud toying with broken hearts.
Said be to the saint with weary sigh,
I'm tired OF this fruitless hunt,
From sordld, leathery hearts to-day
My arrows fall dull and blunt.
Time was when a dart OF elder pith
Would pierce TO the very core
A common heart, aud the tougher ones
II would make exceeding sore.
"Now naught but an arrow tipped with gold
VIII reach 10 vital part,
And no such thing can be found to-day
AS a flaming burning heart"
Said the aged saint you quite express
The thing that ! meant TO say,
And we've got To use modern methods,
II we'd make the business pay
"The turtle dove II has quite gone by,
And welded hearts are passe,
But any battered old cOronet
Has cnch to win the day.
And the very swellest new design
For stealing lovers letters,
You would hardly guess! IT'S the dollar
And par Of golden letters.
Then take advice n the game you'd bag,
Use only a golden dart,
And draw bead on the schemlng head
Don't aim at the shrunken heart"
Augustus l. Hanchett, In Frank Leslle's
Popuat Monthly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
For a Valentine Party.

A Valentine cake may be introduced
with good effect at a Valentine party.
This can be gotten up in two ways; the
first, nicely iced cake, decorated with
candy hearts having sentimental notices
or them. Let the cake be alivided into
the requis5e number Of slices. In the
slices the young girls draw or make a
small slit with the sharp blade of knife.
and insert into the opening a slip of card
board on which is written the name Of
some young man who is present. First
a young lady chooses a slice Of cake, then
he gentleman selects one. In those slices
he latter draw are such small articles as
lenote the sort Of wife Fate has chosen
to be each young mans partner for life.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
How Coreans Pray.

A returned sojourner in Corea tells
that he asked a native priest: Tel
me why you people kneel down before
a stone, or piece of wood, or any mani
mate object, and pray to it? Why noi
pray to God, as Christians do?' "l
will explain" said the devout idolater
Christians close their eyes and look
up without seeing anything as they
pray. The Coreans do not pray to the
piece of stone or wood, as you imagine
but to the same good God, and select
the inanimate object merely as an EN-
blem. Instead of seeing nothing, they
gaze upon Gods handiwork, for God
made the stone"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Practice Makes Perfect.

Angela Ito whom Edgar has been
proposlng)-Tell me, Edgar, did you
ever say anything like this to any
woman before?
Edgar lin a burst OF honesty)-My
dear girl, do you think that it could
be done like that the first tlmeI-Har-
per's Bazaar.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
TO Have Been Recently Born-sayings
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Laughabl The Weeks Humor.

IL have known a man on a modest
salary" said the Crafty Citizen, Ito
scrimp along for a month to save $50
and then blow $40 of It on a hunting
dog when he doesn't get to go shooting
once year"
Sometimes the wife of this same
scrlmpy man." observed the Inyeterate
Thinker, takes the money and puts
$40 Of II in a love Of a tailor-made
gown, when she never goes any farther
than two squares 10 see her cousins
wife. II there were not real foolish
people on earth you and would get no
credit for wisdom. denver News.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

toms which are now observed on st. Val
entine's day.
There is one thing these wise books do
not tell us, however, and that is where
and when the comic valentine originated.
II you will take from its shelf any one
Of the standard works of this description
YOU will also discover that it maintains
discreet, yet significant, silence upon
The causes which led up to the decapita-
ton Of old St. Valentinus that smiling
morning in the long ago. 1t simply tells
YOU that he was executed in the midst of
he Caudian prosecutions, but never for
/ moment should 1t be forgotten that
even prosecutors must have cause.
There has long been private suspicion
that old st. Valentinus was himself the
originator of the comic valentine, and
that he expiated his crime in about
the proper manner. 1t does not require
any undue stress upon the imagination to
see him forwarding to the Emperor Clau-
dius, a picture of a knock-kneed, whop-
per-jawed pirate who is surmounted with
a tinsel crown and whose nose is painted
with the tints Of cOnhagration, while be-
htdln II an SlOOu bib VI hNASN NhiNh
more than intimated that Claudy, old boy,
didn't know enough about the emperor
business to hurt. And what would be
more natural than for Caudy to call for
his warders, no! and cut off Mr.. Valen-
tines head?
The writer's tell us that the romantic
features of st. Valentines day are being
revived, particularly in England. We are
glad of this, because we have always felt
that one day at least should be set apart
in honor of that single passion which
dwels with man and beast alike. Love
is just as much entitled to a festival as
labor. To the latter we have given
legal holiday, and the day is coming when
old ST. Valentine will find himself rec
ognized in the statutes made and proyid-
ed as well as through the pictorial rash
which breaks out upon humanity once in
auaru
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

Mrs. Housekeep-See here, I've been
getting a dozen eggs from you every
week and In every dozen lately I've
found al least two bad ones. What's
to be done about III
Bright Clerk-Suppose you only take
half a dozen hereafter. Maybe you
wouldn't find so many bad ones then
Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
A Valentine.

The north wind Is a-cold,
SObbng behind the hill;
The world seems white and old,
For the winter hath its will:
And there is no thrush In the hazel brush
TO tlute with a silvery trill.
The pale dawns come and CO.
And the chill auroras fare:
While the spirit Of the snow
Moves wraithlike through the air,
And we know that death Of the Icy breath
Is about us everywhere.
And yet, AMI yet, and yet,
Why should we grieve or pinel
Or house glO0m-eyed Regret
Your hand. dear heart, In mlnel
We've all the vernal mIrth OF the earth
With Love for Yalentinel
S-clInton Scollard. in Golfers Weekly.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Memory.

When, having become rich beyond
the dreams of avarice, he came back
to claim his bride, he found Elise
awaiting him.
Then you remember meY he cried
folding her in his strong embrace.
Remember you, Haroldf Why, |
remember your middle initial, evenF
Devotion, this!-Detroit Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
encouragement for the struggling.

We'll" asked the artist rubbing his
hands, what did your wife think of
your portrait when you got homer
'Oh," said old Mr.. Packinham. hand
ing out check for the amount he had
agreed TO pay, 'she told me she still
had confidence in me and didn't be-
lieve | was half as bad as was
painted"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

Thus, a silver cola signifies wealth, q
scrap OF silk fashionable wife, penny
poverty, q tiny spoon a good housskeep'
er, pen literary woman, a small silver
oheart marriage for love, small brush
an artistic wife, a tiny mirror a vain
woman, a piece OF Grape a widow, etc.
Woman's Home Companion.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Love an Appetite.

But, Della, we should not let your
fathers prejudice stand in the way of
our marriage. What is money to true
lover
Il know, Alfred, that money is not
all, but hunger is something. Last
night you walked past three restau-
rants on the way from the theater and
never said oysters once. But papa had
something for me to eat when | got
home. e."-Denver. News.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

1t is said that Lineon's acuteness in
analysis and logical powers were trace
able to his complete mastery of Euclid's
propositions. Certainly whenever he at
tempted to prove or disprove thing he
did it. A story told by United States
Judge G. G. Foster, and printed in the
Syracuse Standard, illustrates his log
Ical fncnltY.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

isn't it kind of these people, ma, 4"
remarked the young fish, ito drop us
lines with food on 'em?"
Don't you believe It," replied the
mother fish. "You must learn to read
between the lines" = Philadelphia
Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

Wigwam-A New York doctor comes
out with an article in which he claims
that American women are declining.
It's stuff and nonsense.
Sappehedde-I don't know about
that. Three of them have declined me
recently.-Philadelphia Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Quite the ontrary.

Kindllman-Whats the matter, my
little man? You seem to be IN great
pain.
Little Boy (groaning dismallyJ-No,
| amt, but dey seems ter be great
pain In me.--Phlladelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

What do you think of the idea OF
broadening the present course OF school
studiesY
u don't care how broad they make
EN-" answered Tommy, "so's they
don't lengthen 'em. m."--IndlaAapolis
Press
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Slow About Going.

ut has always been my rule" said
Mr. Borem, Ito spend as | CO."
Indeed" exclaimed Miss Sharpe.
glancing significantly at the clock "ln
that way suppose you have saved con
siderable money" Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

Blobbs-He doesn't know enough to
come in out of the rain.
Slobbs-That's nothing. Several
thousand years ago there was only one
man in all the world that did. His name
was Noah.-Philadelph Record.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15

Men do not agree on what Is the
objectionable sim" but among wOm-
en- 1t is an objectionable sin for one
woman to recommend a dressmaker
who ruins a garment
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
The Sidewalk Drama.
tt.Ilttat, hos c,o,,o 90, tho e4o,,o ,

"Strutter has gone on the stage"
This time O. year"
Yes; he's playing with an Uncle
Toms Cabin Company in that depart
ment store window. indianapolis
Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1901-02-15
Contingent.

Dobson-If you marry my daughter
how long will it be before you call on
me for aid?
Hobson-That depends on how long 1t
is before she strikes me for cash.-Den-
Yer News.