Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-09-17
GOOD
Short Stories

Augustus Hare tells this story in his
autobiography of a friend, who, in
some ways, was one Of the most abb
sent-minded men in the world. One
day, meeting friend, he said: Hello,
what long time it is since I've seen
you! How's your fatherY' "Oh, my
fathers dead" "God bless mel I'm
very sorry" The next year he met the
same man again, and had forgotten all
about it, SO began with: Hello! what
long time since I've seen you! How's
your fatherY "Oh, my fathers dead
still"
Archbishop Temple was once occu-
pying a seat as an ordinary worshiper
In country church, his immediate
left-hand neighbor being a country
yokel, who kept turning angry glances
toward the bishop-as he then was-in
evident depreciation of his lordship's
vocal efforts. The Bishop, however,
continued making what he describes as
"a joyful noise," until at last the yokel
disgustedly closed his book, and, turn
ing to the Bishop, remarked: 81 say,
guv'nor, chuck it. You're spoilin' the
whole bloomin' showv'
The day following the incident to Sir
Thomas Lipton's cup-challenger Sham
rock IL, King Edward VII. was talk
ing to certain of his friends, when one
Of them happened to remark that the
only things that escaped intact from
the disaster were the boom and the
staysail. "Was the boom all right p
quickly asked the King. $50 under
stand, sir" was the reply. '"That makes
the accident all the more extraordfn-
ary," remarked King Edward, refec-
lively; "for if Sir Thomas Lipton's
boom, has not suffered, how are we to
account for the bringing down Of hif
sales? p"
Julian Corbett may be said to have
| established himself as an authority On
the history of the British navy. A while
ago Mr.. Corbett wrote to the admiralty
to suggest that new frst-class battle
ship then building be christened
Drake" A formal intimation that
his letter had been received and should
have due attention was followed, after
"a decent interval, by digniied reply
from Ny Lords, in which they ex
pressed their regret at not being able
to carry out Mr.. Corbett's suggestion
and explained that it would be con.
trary to precedent to name first-class
battleship after bird.
WbaI, tho TyroncvooI xvor xuos of its
height, Paul Kruger sent commits
sioner to England to find out if there
were any more men left there. The
commissioner wired from London te
say that there were four million mer
and women knocking about the
town." that there was no excitement
and that men were begging to be sent
to fight the Beers. Kruger wired
back, "Go north" The commissioner
found himself in Newcastle eventual
ly, and wired to Kruger: "For Gods
sake, stop that war! England is bring
:; ing up men from hell. eight at time
in cages" He had seen coal mine.
A white minister was conducting re
ligious services in colored church il
North Carolina recently. After exhort
ing a bit, he asked an old colored dea
con to lead in prayer, and, according tt
the Roanoke News, this is the appea
which the brother in black offered fo
his brother in white: so, Lord, glib hin
de eye OBJ de eagle dat he spy out sill
afar off. Glue his hands to de gospe
plow. Tie his tongue to de line OBJ truth
Nail his ear to de gospel pole. Bow hi
head way down between his knees, ant
| his knees way down in some lonesome
: dark, and narrer valley, where praye
t is much wanted to be made. 'Noint hin
wild de kerosene lie of salvashun an,
sot him on fire.
Colonel Oslo was the present King o
ItaIy's governor" for very man
years, when, as Prince of Naples, hi
charge was a delicate lad. Colone
Osio's strict regime has been very sc
verely criticised, but that the King re
members him with respect, If not al
{ fection, is proved by his having cor
ferred the hereditary title of coun
1 upon him on the occasion of the brit
of the Princess Yolanda. One day re
j, quest came from well-known person
: age for the young princes autograph
to be added to collection containin
: that of his grandfather and his father
? The prince was about to comply, whe
the Colonel said, sharply: "Certainl
: not; what value has the signature Q
: an Insignificant boy who does not eve
= know how to write properly" For som
: act of disobedience little later, th
. prince was brought before his "govel
= nor" who exclaimed: eff were th
!, king would cut off your head" "An
, I will cut off yours when l am king,
defantly replied the lad. His punisl
ment is unrecorded, but, instead {
cutting off his tyrant's head when ths
. day came, he has ennobled him.