West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1901-02-07

and say that they are surprised and
sorry. You amt used to funerals,
Samuel, like 1 be, and I want to
tell you few things. Ill proba-
bly, perish about daylight. When
I've drawed my last breath, you
must go over to Mrs. Carter's and
knock four times on the door and
call out that I've gone to my reward
at last. She'll get right up, and
she'll notify Mrs. Phillips and Mrs.
Bebee, and afore sunrise they'll
take most everything off your hands.
You'll probably hev to eat bread
and milk fur breakfast, but l know
you won't kick about 1t. Then
you'll hev to see about the coffin.
You won't be to upset to do that,
will you ?"
Mr.. Gallup moved his legs and
moaned in his sleep, and Mrs. Gal
lup took that as an answer to her
question and placidly continued:
81 was lookin' at collins at
Flythe's the other day. You kin
get 'em at all prices, but SEEM il
was me he said he'd give me $40
one for s3a. Jist remind him of
it Samuel, and don't let him squeak
out Of his promise. The funeral
will take place day after tomorrow
at O'Clock in the afternoon, and
you'll hev to borry about IS chairs.
l want Mrs. Phillips, Mrs. Carter
and Mrs. Bebee to hev front seats
along of you. They allus do more
weepin' at funeral than any other
women l know OF, and weepin'
helps things to get off all right.
don't expect you to do much weep
in yourself, but you'd better shed a
few tears fur the looks of things. 1t
may be hard work, but you'll try,
won't you, Samuel ?"
Mr.. Gallup was non-committal.
Being sound asleep and dreaming of
being tossed over fence by bull,
he couldn't we'll be otherwise. Mrs.
Gallup worked up an imaginary
picture of him in the ''front row"
with tears raining down his cheek
and then said I:
Gas to the preachin'. it won,
amour. to much. 1t will be by Ell
der Tompkins, of course, and he'll
say that another flower has faded,
another leaf fallen by the wayside,
another human bein' laid down the
cares of aiith and sailed away to
become an angel. Let the women
folks do most of the weepin', and
you can come in at the last end,
while they are waiting to sing. You
may feel like singin', Samuel, but
wouldn't do it, If was you. You've
got such roarin' sort of voice that
it might put the rest OF 'em out.
want 'em to sing Rock of Ages,
The Home Over There and The
Sweet Bimeby,' and don't keer
which tune comes first. While they
are singin' it would look better fur
you to sit up straight with your
handkerchief held in your right
hand. Kin you remember all this,
Samuel ?"
| Owing to circumstances over
which he had no control, Mr.. Gal
lup made no reply. Such trifle
as that didn't disturb Mrs. Gallup,
however, and she went right on to
say:
| "You'll ride in the carriage with
the elder to the graveyard. and if ]
was you wouldn't say much or lei
him draw me into no argumen,
about the whale swallerin' joiner.
Squeeze out few more tears al
the grave If you can as we'll as not,
and don't look too happy as you
ride home. You kin return all the
borried chairs after dark, hev some
puddin' and milk fur supper and
go to bed and sleep as sound
as ever you did in your life. You
hear me, don't you Samuel ?"
Owing to circumstances as above
mentioned, he didn't but having
had her say about things she drop,
ped back on her pillow with feel.
ing that they we're off her mind, anc
whispered
That all, Samuel. When I have
perished-Mrs. Carter-weep few
tears-hower by the wayside-pud
din and milk for supper-and-
and ---
And Mrs. Gallup was snoring il
unison with him, and the CROWNS
hen was heard no more.
A firm in Toronto, Canada, ad
vertised that on receipt of 81 the,
would send, "securely sealed,