davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

continuity of our social and moral es-
Establishments, says the Chicago Jour-
nal. In the interests of good order and
a higher sense of responsibility on the
part of civilized humanity, the mar
rage custom has evolved from sim
pie, savage rite to one that carries a
deep obligation and is interlinked with
a sacramento solemnity that makes it
strikingly impressive. There are civil
and religious marriages, but both have
legal sanction. They constitute con-
tracts that cannot be easily abrogated,
and the entire thought of those who
framed our laws was to throw the
greatest protection around the institu
ton Statutes have been enacted that
severely punish the man or woman
who enters the connubial state and
then proves false to the sacred VOWS.
If there were no restraint, the family
that inhabitS the earth would be illegit
innate and lawless, disconnected and
shameless-mere tribes that would
prey upon each other in the most bar
barous manner. A positive union of
souls is beautifully sentimental. DR..
Heron and Miss Rand assert that they
have discovered between themselves
love that is abiding and harmonious,
love that is so strong and everlasting
that no words Of priest or prelate are
needed to cement it, and that all they
should be coerced into doing is max
ing an announcement of the fact. The
law of the land, prescribing certain
formalities they declare pestiferous
and unnecessary, and begrudgingly
comply with it. Prof. Heron must
have performed a few mental gym
nastics since he led his first wife to
the altar He gave her his love, and
two children were born to them be-
fore he deserted her for Miss Rand.
If his soul-merging system is infallible
why did he transfer his affections
Would he advise every man to leave
his wife as soon as he ascertained
that the original physical love was
not capable Of being ripened into the
higher spiritual love? Would he urge
practice requiring nothing more
obligatory than 81 take this woman
to be my companion" or 81 take this
man to be my companion| Simpli-
fed his teaching amounts to nothing
more. 1t panders to the vicious in
stincts of the brute in man and If in
vogue would bRing innumerable i'm
moralities in its train. Society is well
founded. 1t must adhere to the an
cient and honorable customs which
have builded it up, and Prof. Heron
and his bride should be Stunned by re
spectabilitY.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Stops the Train.

With a view to preventing accidents
at level crossings and collisions in the
neighborhood of railway stations a very
ingenious mechanism has recently been
tried in France. 1t consists essentially
of a huge hook, or catch, made of iron,
which is connected with lever at the
station by means of q wire, through
which a current of electricity passes.
When 1t is lying in its place the train
passes over it quite easily, but as soon
as it is raised it catches lever which
is attached to the engine. The lever
thus caught causes an air valve on the
engine to open automatically and ap-
plies the brakes at once, so that the
whole train is brought to a standstill
within a short distance. In foggy
weather the use of such an apparatus
cannot be overestimated, as it is calcu.
lated to prevent a train running into
another which happens to be delayed
at a station.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Like a Circus.

Mr.. Bingo, the junior member Of the
firm, had a peculiarly irritating sneeze.
1t began with an elaborate and terrify-
ing series of facial commissions, and
ended with a most lame and impotent
paroxysm that always disappointed the
expectant observer.
"Your sneeze," said Mr.. Gringo, the
senior partner, after watching him
through one of his sternutations, sis a
regular circus"
"a circus?" said Mr.. Bingo.
eyes, sir" was the rejoinder. "The
performance never comes up to the adj
vance notices."
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Wet DAYS for Weddinrs.

The adage, Happy is the bride that
the sun shines on" is one that is I'M
known in many lands. A Breton bride
takes it unhappily when the day of her
wedding dawns bright and sunny. Rain
ON her marriage morn is held to signi-
fly that all her tears are shed, and that
she will therefore have happy mar
ried life. 1t is said that the Era of
Simbrisk call the day before the we'd
ding the weeping day, and the bride
and her girl friends weep as much as
possible, with the idea of getting the
mourning of life over, so that only
what is joyful may remain. In some
countries this result is attained by
sousing the bride with water. The
Greeks think that a thorough d1ench-
ing of the bride will bring her lasting
good fortune.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

The tendency to bring producer and
consumer together and eliminate mid
dlemen has manifested itself in an ar
rangement whereby the sale of cotton
and wool will be put in the bands of
organizations formed of cotton and
wool growers. This movement has not
attracted much attention because the
capital involved is small as compared
with that of many of the great manu-
featuring combines. But it may result
in as great a change in business meth
DDS and as great economy as any which
have resulted from combines which
have made a great deal more noise.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

The truth is that handwriting has as
sumed a far lower place in business
pursuits than it occupied a few years
ago. The great bulk of mercantile
correspondence is now conducted by
means of the typewriter, and that use
full machine is steadily pushing its way
into the realms of authorship and news
paper work as well. There will always
be a demand for neat and legible pen
the greater majority of pursuits this
no longer exists, although as a per-
sonal accomplishment, apart from bust
ness uses, it is of course eminently de-
sirable
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

A wealthy and cultured American,
prominent in social and literary circles,
lately died in England, where he had
resided for thirty years. Since his first
week abroad he had never dined at an
Englishman's table. at his first din
ner-party in London his host made O.
sighting reference to the United
States, which his guest, as a guest,
could not resent. Upon the spot he
resolved never to accept an invitation
where such another affront might be
put upon his patriotism. For the an
tithesis to this act, cross the channel
to Paris. An Austrian archduke, visit
ing in that city, offended a Frenchman.
who later, in a drawing-room, trod OH
his foot. The archduke took out his
handkerchief, brushed the dust from his
shoe and remarked aloud to his host,
What an awkward person that isr'
The archduke was too highly placed in
Europe to acknowledge the possibility
of intentional insult. One would need
to go far to find two more comprehen-
sive illustrations of an unhappy but not
infrequent phase of social life Some
persons wound others Intentionally,
some unwittingly. Shall one therefore
go through life avoiding all society lest
perchance ones sensibilities be hurti
Or shall one be blind toward even in
tended rudeness and Give it down ?''
When the boys in the gutter throw
mud, the dignifed thing for the pedes-
trian is to walk on unheeding.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

The rarest and costliest of gems,
though not always esteemed the most
beautiful, are pigeon's-blood rubies,
fine opals, and diamonds that are pure
but shed distinct glow of blue or
pink. A very perfect pearl of gener-
Gus size and lustrous skin, tinted a rare
fy beautiful golden green, was valued,
unset, at over 81 800. A faultless green
pearl is very rare. A curious stone is
the Alexandria. 1t is a dark green
stone that is polished, cut and set, very
like fine topaz or amethyst, in large
snowy rings, surrounded by diamonds.
By the light of day the Alexandria has
no special beauty save its fine luster,
but directly a shaft Of artificial light
strikes the dull stone deep CLEANS of
red flash out of the green, and under
the gas or in the freight one ignorant
Of this vagary would instantly pro-
nounce 1t a ruby.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

full manner. When you gave way to
you did not think that they would be
so quickly missed. Nor did you think
that a shrewd business man would be
quite likely to hit upon the route you
would take, and by telephoning
you may we'll start!-to the bank you
would probably call at to change the
notes, have you arrested, and your
father, brothers and sisters disgraced,
within very few hours of your theft
being discovered. 1t is entirely owing
to the latter contingency that Mr.. Sill
verton has instructed me to hand over
to you this bag of $500 in gold in ex-
change for the notes.
1.-THE sole condition he makes is that
you leave England and attempt an
honorable career abroad. If you re-
main in England you will be prescott
ed, with the result you may easily an
ticipate.
do you accept the terms?" he asked.
Eyes, SIR" answered Hampton. 81 am
very grateful to Mr.. Silverton. 1 am
truly sorry I have done what 1 have
done, but with the help Of the money
lent to me will keep straight"
Mr.. Golden handed the bag to the
younger man and received the notes
which he casually compared with the
list Of missing notes received, of course,
from Mr.. Silverton by telephone.
Golden accompanied Hampton to his
Office door, and warmly shook him by
the hand, and wished him good luck
and success in his new life.
"Where do 1 come in, you ask?" said
Inkster, pausing in his narrative
'Well. you see, 1 don't appear until
near the end, which will probably be
rather a surprise to you"
There happened to be a very smart
but rather curious young lady in the
telephone exchange, and it also hap.
pened-by accident, let US say-that she
heard the telephone conversation be.
tween the bankers. Whether it was the
result of her suspicious nature or WON
ans intuitiveness Is quite immaterial
but she rang up the London bank her
self and asked them If they had heard
distinctly when talking to Liverpool.
The bankers were surprised at the
question, and said they had not spoken
to Liverpool that day.
81 must have mistaken the number,
she quickly answered, 81 beg your par
don for troubling you"
Then she rang up the detective Office
and detailed the supposed converse
ton to the chief, who laughingly called
out to me:
Here is your man, Inkster, and ruI
to earth by a telephone girl"
81 was in Liverpool at the time aftel
troublesome gang of forgers," inter
polated Inkster.
On being told what Miss Telephone
had said, was soon in a hanson ant
being quickly driven to the bank The
cab pulled up with jerk, and just a!
1 alighted Hampton walked out of the
premises into my arms.
The roll of notes were very clever
forgeries, of course, and he would hav,
been amply repaid for his labor hat
he received $500 cash for them, but ht
will not be allowed to visit the States
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

No doubt 1T is a mere coincidence,
and yet some people might suppose
that the President had a superstitious
preference for monosyllables in choos-
ing members of his cabinet. There have
been in all fifteen heads of the eight
departments. Look at this array OF
names: Day, Hay, Gage, Long, Root
Knox, Bliss, Smith and Griggs. Then
there were Gary and Alger, whose
names were short, but not monosylla
bic Seventy-six letters suffice for the
GERS, or almost exactly five letters to 6
name
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

AT last there appears to be a cheer
Ing prospect that the West Point hazing
scandal may be wiped out. The ~
cent commOtion in the National Mill
tary Academy is an outgrowth of the
Congressional investigations, when
Congress decided to bar the practice
and certain cadets were subjected to
admonition and punishment. At the
time it was supposed that the incident
was closed, but it appears that some
of the cadets felt it to be in order for
them to assert themselves in a final
protest. When Colonel Mills. follow
ing the Congressional instructions. IN
dertook to discipline one of them for
hazing a lower-class man they revolted.
After incidentally training a gun on
the house Of the cOmmandant us a
slight token of their disesteem they
set to work to secure his dismissal.
If there had been any doubt as to the
Justice of the Congressional verdict on
the haZers it is removed by the facts
of this case. Young soldiers may be
high-spirited and inclined to forget the
strict letter of the rules provided for
their welfare, but soldier, young or
old, is first of all obedient. In their
conduct toward Colonel Mills the ca
diets were not only disobedienr bat nu-
tinous. 1t is impossible to believe
thar boys who are permitted to rebel
against the orders of their superior of
ficer will be likely to grow into men
who can be relied upon for obedience
when severer duties are to be required
The expulsion of several of the cadets
with the suspension of others, ought to
bring this lesson home in way thai
the unruliest student will understand
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
for very long time yet.-Indianapolis


'The world is full of dog heroes"
says a friend and admirer of our ca,
nine pets; but few of their brave deeds
ever come to light, for they cannot tell
their own Stories" The New York Sun
relates the exploit of a st. Bernard.
The incident occurred recently at
Bloomfield, New Jersey.
Bruno is a splendid specimen of his
kind, and his behavior in an emergency
has endeared him more than ever to his
owners heart.
The dog is deeply attached to a fine
pair of horses, one Of whom is his spe,
cial friend. The dog has often led the
the rope in his mouth. His air of pride
and proprietorship on these occasions
has been the source Of no small amuse
ment to observers.
A few nights ago a fine broke out In
the Baldwin stable. Bruno was sleep
lily were awakened in the "wee sma
hours" by the barking and scratching
of Bruno at the house door.
When Mr.. Baldwin appeared, the dog
seemed beside himself with excitement
He dashed ahead to the stable door, anG
the instant it was opened rushed in
side.
Mr.. Baldwin released one of the
horses, and after some difficulty sue
ceeded in leading it out of the stable
Then he hurried hack for tho otha,
horse. AS he was forcing his way into
the midst of the smoke and flames Bru
no appeared, leading the horse, the enc
Of the halter-rope dangling between his
teeth.
Investigation showed that the st
Bernard had chewed off the rope. L
was his friend, his favorite horse
whose life he had saved. Mr. Bald
win doubts If he himself could have
reached the animals stall, so fiercely
was the fire raging.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
packing OF of Widows"

A pastime which obtains among the
farm classes of Corea, known as the
packing off of Widows" consists of a
raid by some disconsolate widower and
his friends on some village known to
contain a young widow, the forcible
abduction of the lady in question and
her marriage to the widower. An in
stance of this kind has recently come
to our notice A widower living in
one of the villages of Kangwha with
eleven friends went to q hamlet close
to the walls of Kangwha City, where
a widow lived and seized and carried
off, after somewhat of battle, young
lady. 1t so happened, however, that
they had mistaken the house, and un-
fortunately got hold of the wrong lady
Early the next morning an indignant
posse came in pursuit, but the men
who had committed the dastardly deed
succeeded in eluding them. The young
lady, however, was rescued, and after
the house of the widower and its con.
tents had been completely demolished
she was escorted home in triumph by
her husband and his friends.-Kobe
Chronicle.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
TRAINED ALLIdAToRs TOW HIS BOAT.

ST. Johns Fa
is
to tow he to
to o
puna the
to
n
taught
either
big
By pulling
Of
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Death Was Preferable.

you ought to feel very grateful to
DR.. Slocum," said Mrs. Henpeck to her
from the jaws of DEATH"
YES" replied the poor man, but he
has brought me back to suffer the jaws
of life -Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

"Who was that woman" asked the
editor.
1.-The President of the Woman's
Rights Club" replied his assistant
"She was making a kick because we
referred to her as strong minded per-
SON."
"All right. Be careful to call her a
weak minded person in the FUTURE
Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
And when it was straight it was horrid
His Grounds.

"And on what ground do you base
your application for divorce?" asked
the lawyer of his new client
"Exertion, sah.'
"You mean desertion, | suppose.
Your wife has left you, doubtless"
mo, sab, she hasn't left me, sab"
''Then you can't ask for divorce on
the ground Of desertion.'
81 said exertion, sab. OATS de
ground perzackly. She done exert her
self continually to make me mizzable,
sab. Put it on de ground OBJ exertion
Sah"
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Evidently Mr.. Carnegie intends to do
his best to live up to his belief. an
nounced some time ago, that a man
who dies rich dies disgraced. 1t will
take considerable work, however, for
the benevolent Scot to get rid of even
the income from his $300,000,Ooo and
more in judicious works of benevo-
IQnpQ
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Citzen-I want a perfectly noiseless
lawn mower
Dealer-You are a very considerate
person.
Citizen-Yes, 1 have to be; If 1 can't
get up early and cut grass without the
neighbors hearing me I'll have to lend
that lawn mower seven times before
get to use it again myself-Chicago
Record-Herald.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Bargain Day.

"Why am 1 not shown common court
esy?" demanded the woman warmly.
The sales person lost her temper at
once.
You didn't ask to be shown any
thing but two-cent printsp retorted the
latter
Moreover, it was bargain day, when
the amount Of common courtesy to a
customer was necessarily limited.-De-
troit Journal
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Turkey, ordering a new warship
without paying what is due on past
contracts, recalls the optimism of the
slater who, falling from a tower, re-
marked as he passed each story, "AlPs
well so far
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
A Choice.

what is it this morningT" asked the
new waitress. Ham and eggs, isn't
it?"
mot exactly" said the boarding
house mistress, land l want you to
work this well. You must be careful
to say to each boarder, Ham or eggsp
Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

An unsentimental feature about girls
becoming doctors is that the lovers i'm
memorial complaint of broken heart
will with them be merely estimated at
its true anatomic value.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Inst What She Needed.

Tess-Della Mode wants me to try
her dressmaker. 1 wonder if she'd suit
me?
Jess-Oh, yes, indeed; she's just the
one for you.
Tess-Really?
Jess-Yes, she's wonder. Why, she
can make the plainest kind of people
look nice-Philadelphia Press.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Friend-How much money did your
defaulting cashier get away with?
Bank ager-Can't say.
Friend Gin astonishment)-Wha
Haven't you had his books examined
yet?
Bank Manager-No; he hasn't return
ed them yet-Puck.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

First Arctic Explorer-Don't you
think Polehunter is getting big head?
Second Arctic Explorer-Decidedly
You'd think he was the only man who
didn't reach the poleLPuck.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
There Are Many Such.

Mrs. Gabbleton (musingly)-After all,
one half of the world does not know
how the other half lives.
Mrs. Flint (grimly)-Never mind!
That is not your fault, dear!-Puck.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Evils of Politics.

Blithers-Our old friend, Col. Beet
bad, is another instance of the strenu-
Gus life of politics.
Blathers-How's that?
Blithers-He sued an opposition party
paper for printing a caricature of him,
and the jury decided that the picture
f1attered the colonel.-Ohio State Jour-
nal.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

This more than probable disappear
ance of tbs haze hanging over West
Point means a brighter day for that in
stitution.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Distribution of sermon.

The Berlin city mission, headed by A.
stocker, issued each week 10000 ser
mons for those who cannot attend
church, 10000 of which are distributed
In the city.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Wife-Why do you buy such a lot of
stamps at once?
Husband-So there'll be n few that
won't get stuck together.-New York
Weekly.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Have you heard a robin yeti"
head tied up in a towel beating a car
pet in the back yard. Chicago Rec
ord.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
The Question Nowadays.

Friend-I understand your receiving
teller has skipped out?
Band President (sadly)-Thats what!
Friend-Did he leave much ?-Puck
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Hadn't Renorted Yet.

you say he died a soldiers death.
What was the fatal woundP
ut isn't known. The Investigating
Committee haven't yet decided wheth-
err it was due to the tobasco or to hot
irons. "-Philadelphia Record.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
A Special Privilege.

The widowed Princess of Nazal is the
only upper class woman in Egypt who
is allowed to see men, and has this
privilege through the special order OF
the Sultan.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

by the way, old Gotrox is not in &C
tive business now, is hep"
81 should call it active. He is dodg-
ing taxes at a more lively rate than any
other man in n."-Indianapolis
Press.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Clubberly-Oldm man, do you ever have
any doubts about your love for her?
Castleton-Oh, yes; but when it comes
on 1 get down a stack of unpaid bills
and look them over.-Life.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Frederi De L.
of
of
of
tall
of
He
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Irregular.

He-When 1 tell you that 1 have
enough to support you in the style in
which you have been accustomed to
live, you must take my simple word
for it.
She-But, George, is that strictly
business?
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-Sayingst that Are Cheer
full to Old or Young-Funny Se1ec-
lions that Everybody Will Enjoy.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Equivocal Enthusiasm.

Husband-To-day l met a gentleman
who told me he was engaged to you at
one time.
Wife-What did you say?
81 congratulated him, of course
The Smart Set.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Ingenious Woman.

"Mayme, where is thai pretty little
brocaded pink silk sofa pillow 1 gave
your"
ooh, 1 took the cover and trimmed
my hat with it."
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

When newspaper suspends publica-
ton in Russia it does not of necessity
imply lack Of funds.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

$50 Dick and Daisy have made up?
By George! After the way she laid
him out never expected it. How did
he pacify her?'
HE told her that he'd rather quarrel
with her than kiss any other GIRL
Puck
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
The Smart Set.

There was once NJ. s. O'Grady,
Who wrote Heart to Heart Talks"
signed Sadie
Girls from North, East and West,
Read this column with zest-
Till they found out that she was mo
LADY,"
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

When Rev. George D. Heron and
Miss Carrie Rand were married in New
York the other night they uttered spir-
itual beliefs that are dangerous to the
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

A man will promise to do anything
next week, and when he is smoking a
good cigar after a good dinner, he will
promise to do anything tomorrow.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Information from Headquarters.

1nfOrmatiOn from HeadQuarters.
Cleverton-Look here, have you been
making love to Miss Summit?
Dashaway-Yes, sir, 1 have.
"Well, do you know that have been
making love to that girl?'
$50 she said"
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

ITS wrong to call such actors hams
even"
"Why?"
because they are hopeless, while
hams may be cured. "-Philadelphi
Times.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

She-Why don't you get wife? Are
you waiting to get rich before you
marry?
He-Oh, no! I'm waiting to get rich
when marry.-Puck.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
Jimson-Why is that?
A Sporting Note.

First Bear-I saw a man shot min
ute ago.
Second Bear-What for?
First Bear-For impersonating me, I
think.-Puck.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Manhattan-I wonder why it is that
so many society women go on the
stage
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31
And in Cold Weatht

when did the window blush?"
when it saw the weather strip
Life.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

The coat that isn't paid for is 8 bad
habit to get into.
Holbrook argus., 1901-08-31

Jester-I understand our pastor is 60
ing to preach through a megaphone
hereafter.
Jimson-Why is that?
Jester-Why the sleeping members of
the congregation snore so loudly that
the others can't hear.-Ohio State Jour-
nal.