Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1901-08-27
NOISY COLLEGE BOY.
AVERAGE SPECIMEN IS GOOD
DEAL OF A NUISANCE.
Kansas Judge Tells How and Why the
Youths Get Themselves DislikeI-
Much Truth in What He says-com-
ments, However, Are Too Drastic.


That the college boy is often too ex-
uberant all who know him will admit.
but that he is as much of a nuisance
as Judge Frank Doster of the Kansas
Supreme Court declares some will
question. Among other things" said
The judge in recent newspaper arti-
Gle. Il would reform the college SUI
dent or kill him off. knock on him. l
know we pretend to dote on him and
affect to believe that he Is the hope and
first care Of the State. but It's a lie.
We don't. Nobody but his mother
does. From the time he first starts out
to render 'Gallia est omnis divisa in
parties tres he becomes an insufferable
nuisance. Ii at that stage of his ca
reer his own gall could be divided into
5000 parts instead of three and he left
with only one of them the relief to
mankind and to himself would be ines
Unable, because an infinitesiMal frac-
tion of the whole of what he has would
suffice the needs Of any ordinary NOR
tai.
why do / say these hard things
about him? l say it because he is
self-important, noisy, conceited, ignor-
ant Of all practical wisdom, parts his
hair in the middle, fiaunts his frater-
nifty badge and school colors in an Of
fensive, challenging sort of way in ev-
erybody's face, and prances upstreet
yawping his ear-splitting college yell
to the fright and disgust of all timid.
sensitive folk within sound. l saw
him at the Twentieth Kansas recep-
tion, a bigger man than Funston-big-
ger even than Gen. Hughes-making
more noise and taking up more room
than the whole procession, elbowing ey-
erybody out of the way and drowning
the voices of the orators and the music
of the bands with his idiotic Rock
chalk, jay hawk; rah! rah! rah! Wash.
burn, rah! Baker, hurrahv' or whatever
| the internal Siwash gibberish is. 1
have seen somewhat of this world and
l think have correctly sized up a
good many people in 1t, and give it as
my mature and solemn judgment, based
upon a careful, unprejudiced compari-
son of the many classes Of people who
cultivate the habit of making a holy
show of themselves, that, with the ex-
ception to be hereafter noticed, the
average college student is the most OBJ
trusive and e1ephantine ass that fronts
the grieved and frowning face of heav-
en-. l was college student once my
self
Now, am not objecting to what this
creature learns at school. It's what he
doesn't learn that am talking about.
He's lazy. He doesn't design himself
for any of the usual work of mankind.
Nobody ever heard of a college student
who was fitting himself for anything
but one of the learned professions, SO
called-that is, one of the professions
of learning how to live off the balance
of mankind. He's going to be a law.
!. yer, preacher, a doctor, an editor
an author, an orator, a statesman, and
no doubling thought ever rufies his
serenely egotistic soul that when once
he vaults into the arena of affairs the
things of this world will be speedily sci
to rights.
"But when he finally does land ou1
the much-abused, long suffering worlt
gets its revenge, The world just trips
him up and rolls its big self over hin
and mashes the wind out of him ani
then picks him up and chucks him int
little 8x10 Office, with cobwebs OF
the ceiling and fly specks on the win
dows and two broken-leg chairs on tn,
floor and dozen secondhand book
in a wobbly old case with the gIas
broken out, and, refusing to pay hi
board bill any longer. goes off ant
leaves him to learn wisdom from tn,
ant.
Nor have any spite at the colleg
student. I only think he takes up to-
much room and makes too much nois
and costs too much money and is to-
smart in the budding days of his ca
reer. If he could only be induced t
subside somewhat. to practice littl
the modest habit of self-effacement
go out and soak his head, turn an X
raw upon his inwards and see himsel
, as others see him, we could possibl
endure him instead Of filing up wit
/ wicked wishes for his assassination
But he won't"
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