davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
The Modern Fable OF tile Woozy Amateur
and How They Straug Him.

a Bil Clerk in a Grocery House once
took part in a Production by Home
Talent Every one who bought a Ticket
had a Friend in the Cast. The Bill Clerk
was u Glisten. but most OF the People
We're wedGed in and had to Stick. His
Acting was very baz1flaraz. When they
gave him a Call, he did not know that
they We're Kidding him. After the Show
they came around and pounded him on
the Back and told him he was Great. The
Paper gave him a Notice better than Co
quelin ever got. He had himself photo
graphcd i'll Costume and began to grow q
Marguerite Curl in tbs middle OF his
Forehead and keep one Hand inside of
his Coat. The Mantle of Edwin Booth
had fallen on him. but it did not reach to
the Small of his Back. All he wanted
was a Chance: and he would make Otis
Skinner look like a Side Order of Some
thing. He read the Dramatic Papers
and unless he was choked off he arose ct
Evening Parties and Rectod. Then all
the Girls told him he had Wonderful
Talent and after he went awar they said
he was the jakiest piece of Punk they
ever saw.
The Bill Clerk began TO wrte Letters
Of Congratnlation to himself and use
Powder on his Face. He forsoo'S the low
down Grocery Trade and decided to go
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06

more Money every Week than the aver.
age Married Woman, and when I get on
my Best Clothes, why l put her on the
Blink, easy. When [ want some small
change don't have to coax for it. 1 go
to the Notwithstanding several times
a week, and l don't have to sit up in any
slN-by-nine Fiat waiting until all Hours
for It.. I think I can struggle along with
out having you come around to hold my
Hand,
The Phtlanthropist walked away deeply
Srieved at her Point of View.
MORAL: Any Girl with 4 Geneve kind
Of Name is not looking for Sympathy.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06

Push and not one would Do. And they
We're so Scared of her that when they
came near her Corner they did a little
t'oot-WoTk to the other side of the Street.
For eight Years she sat with the Lace
Curtains parted, keeping a keen lookout
for old Perfection. She knew that there
We're some Real Gentlemen in the World.
because she had read about them in
Laury Jean Libbey.
At last she began to lean against the
chilly Fact that the Tide had gone out
and left her tangled in the Sea-Weed. So
she went out and put up a Sign in the
Front Yard: Man wanted. White one
PREFERRED
MORAL: Marry him first and remove
the Kinks afterward
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
A Pickpocket's Prayer.

A notorious pickpocket concludes a les-
ter to his wife as follows:
Now. Dollie. take care of yourseil anu
pray. as Jim prays, for YOU.
Imagine the nightly prayer OF sucn d
man! May women carry Well-hi!e9
purses In their hands: May the care1ui
be careless In guarding their raluaoles-
the careless more careIessi May safes be
easy to crack. May burglar alarms ia.l
to go OF; night watehmen be serlckeh
blind, deaf and dumb and may wateh-
dogs fall to bark. May jlmn'!es always
do sure work, may pistols never miss
their mark. NAV the police fall asleep
oftener than they do. Arnen--Sew
York Evening Sun.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
Not Needed.

=. Not Needed.
lie had called on a Fifth-Avenue ply
slclan and reported that he was knock
ed out generally AS he took the pre-
scrlption he said:
~ Doctor. what do I oga you?"
Two dollars
I'm sorry can't pay you to-day
You won't mind waiting awhile, will
your
mo. that's all right
And Doctor how much will This pre-
scription cost?"
About one dollar
say, Dec, You couldn't loan me a
dollar to get it with. could YOU? I'm
dead broke
Let me look at that prescription
again, I" said the physician. He took it,.
examined tand erased a line.
had prescribed something for your
nerve.''5s he said. "but I see you don't
need it.''-New York Times.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
SltYaSe.

The stranger stopped on Madison
Street bridge to take look at tug
that was passing.
A sudden puff of wind blew his hat of
and it, fell into the river:
Into the Chicago river!
And t$wassa new hat.
Instantly a boy ran down a ladder at
the east end Of the bridge, and as the
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06

on the Stage. He changed his name from
Wesley Fink to Ormonde Dupont and had
Iheater'' painted on his Trunk. Alter
that all he needed, in order to be an &C
tor. was an Engagement. He packed up
and headed for the Eialto. with all the
Photographs OF himself and Notice from
the Home Paper. The Managers ana
Agents turned him down and waved MN
away and kept him sitting in Waiting
Rooms for hours at a time, but they
could not drive Ormonde back to the
Canned Fruit Business. He was going to
Act. whether or no.
SO finally he signed with a Company
presenting a Problem Play entitled IN
Wet Dog" In the First Act he played
the part Of a. Man who brought in the
Trunk. In the Second Act he had to walk
right out in the Glare of the Foot1ights
and ask, did You Ring?' In the Third
Act he was number four from the Right
End. And now all his old Friends in the
Grocery Trade can say that they know
some ono who is really on the Stage.
MORAL: a Word of Encoura cement
at the right Moment often determines a
Career
The Modern Fable OF the PhiIanthro2ist and
the Foor Working Girl.
While in a Department Store. whittier
he had gone to save 2 cents each on mis-
Collars. a Nice Man with black Lambre-
quns leaned over the Counter and said to
Geneve, the sweet-faced saleslady: ooh,
Little GIRL. how 1 sympa thize with YOU.
Geneve looked at him in q Startled
Manner and then her Gaze fell.
What is Biting your she asked timid-
~.
II am so sorry for one who is compelled
to Toll" he said. II am thinking q 1-tcrt-
ing a MONDAY Rest Club where you
and the others may come and drink Tea
and listen to me read Advice to the
Young
THAT would be lonely Billiards.
wouldn't it?" asked Geneve, as she gave
him the Chirp. I'VE don't want to be
rounded up and soZzled oven Not on
Your Leaf Lards. The Poor Working
Girl draws the line on having kind
hearted Gentleman phil the Weeps on
her. Why should do the Repine? see
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
SOME FUNNY LlTTLEST0RIES
WITH 4 GOOD POINT EACH
Gould Stand the Loss-A sShifty . Debtor.
Didn't Need the Prescription
Round Figures.

Wcll,'' was the cool reply. II came to
you because knew you could stand the
loss better than any one else [ knew Of"
The millionaire indorsed the note, af-
ter securing the name of the nerve tonic
his caller is using.-Detroit Free Press.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06

hat came along he managed. BY ;tIss rs
OF pole, to fish 1t out OF the. water.
The grateful owner took a look at it.
..My. bow, he said impulsively, you
may keep. the hat as your reward
Then the boy took look at it, and
slowly. shook his head.
..Mister," he said, couldn't you give
me- a dime ?"-ChicaEo Tribune.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
"shlityr Debtor

As"Shiity" Debtor.
IT shan't call again for this bill, said
the collector, angrily. my time is worth
money.
How much is your time WORTH" ask
cd the debtor adroitly.
well, get 81 day. snapped the
collector.
How much Is the bill?" asked the
debtor. ..
-Four dollars said the collector.
much encouraged.
Lets See said the other. figuring
rapidly on the back Of an envelope, my
time is worth 81 a day, or twice Is much
as yours. You've already taken about
two days of my time with that bill. or
the equivalent Of IS. The bill is 81: your
two days time are worth 81. so that
makes us square. Good day!'-Ohio
State Journal
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
Ycwarc o!
ESQ., on the
Continent

n
f~om Trieste. SAYS that an
IVA, incident occurred to nm
Is4 Vi ahe recently while travelling on
Continent. the Continent w.l.ch,
though somewhat amusing,
might cause much inconvenience IN oihsf
circumstances. II was recently travel
ing" he says through France ard hap
Sened to spend a night in a large sea
port town. l found, when in the tram
going to Paris, that hat box had been
left behind | telegraphed from the next
station to the hotel manager TO forward
il TO an address in Paris. The ADDRESS
on the label was II. l.. C. EsQfe- FOR
three weeks nothing was heard OF the
hat OK ] wrote to the hotel manager,
who replied that it was forwarded at
once After careful investigation and
on the production of the original receipt,
ii was finally ascertained that the post
man haG made inquiries at the address
given for Monsieur Esquire, VINO nat-
urally had never been heard of there
After much explanation and formahiles
the postal authorities were CONVINCED that
.Esure.' was equivalent TO Monsieur
and the box was rcaddressed and sent to
me in Austria. The moral of the story
u.s. of course, when writln2fi to persons
in foreign countries, conform Will the
usages of the country, and Go not put
words and letters after names that only
serve 10 COIL use !Ctdi l3cStcl CiiiIitiiS.
London Times.
The advent of the big
H,.. American style hotel in
49,. england has also witnessed
ne.ee'Nso the, evolution ,.4is sue
ADrcAa. OF the Atlantic Of the hotel
''crooK, and to protect
himeslf and has guests against the ma
china.-ons of this pest mouern mana
ger has had to provide himself with the
hotel detective.
The latter says. a correspondent Of the
Globe, earns a sa-arS that would make
many professional mans mouth water.
The writer knows one such, for instance,
VIC gets 81 200 (Sv.o90) a year in addi-
ton to his rooms and board, and prac-
tically unlimited expenses. out then he
is acquainted by sight with all the lead
ing Con .,nental crooks. is hnown and
dreaded by every American sport from
to California, and can pick out
dishonest waiter or a pilferng cellar
man as. surely and as instinctively. as a
truffle-dogs smells out a trufl7e.
-nder nim, reporting to him and ODE
dent to his orders is q. secret staff of
maybe a score or more employe-detec-
tiveS-chambermaids porters, walters,
etc. These are unknown as detectives
to one another or to the rest of the
staff although care is taken that all
the employees KNOW, or at all events SuS-
pect. some such organization exists
among them. 1t is the system of the
Russian seer. police in miniature, and
it is very efective.-London Telegraph
THE final meeting of the
Tunnel l.l,el,ha 'lofai E ~,
Beneath 'oI Ii i,.a1 . - %.
ING Sed. the London Chronicle of
September 9th Chief
interest was centred on the railway sec
ton. Mr.. Jas. Barton read a paper
the proposed tunnel between Scotland and
Ireland He EliG i / hn linz C1ityeras 81 ed
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
Unmakirg
History

according to the latset researches of the
antiquarians we don't cross it at all.
Why should we seek to bolster up an
exploded fiction? We Will go around
the pi,-lul little stream.
Whereupon, he finished the game of
pedro he was playing and subsequently
entered Italy proper by another route
C-lcago Tribune.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06

Just at this moment the
scouts came in with the
report that the Rubicon
was easily fordable.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
Growth Of Children.

Parents cannot understand the oddities
of growth In children. though they have
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
jag Cars.

The jag Cars begin
running in Sixth Avenue
lag Csrs. at O'Clock in the morning
and in Broadway a little
later. These are closed
vehicles. with entrance and
exit by means of the rear platform The
company soon learned, after open cars
were put on at the beginning of sum
mer- that nearly all accidents occurring
in the early hours We're due to drunken
passengers endeavoring to get on and
on the unguarded seats. 1t being mani
festly impossible for the conductor to
patrol the footboard in a way to protect
all the cross seats. the management
wisely restored the closed cars. His
royal jaGlets" cannot now get on or off
without the conductors knowledge and
assistance. If the latter be needed. The
sober and belated citizen who rail againct
closed cars should yield point in favor
OF their less fortunate oreth-,r, $50 lc-
lated but not sober The Tx, Car is
q wise provision.-New York Press.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06
Tunnel
Beneath
the Sea.

interest was centred on the railway sec
ton. Mr.. Jas. Barton read a paper on
the proposed tunnel between Scotland and
Ireland. He said the line suggested
would .esin at Stanraer Railway Station
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1901-10-06

THE final meeting Of the
International Engineering
Congress took place yes
teraay at glasgow. says
the London Chronicle of
Snnte.nher 9Th. ..Chief
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
FOUND A DYING MAN 49, ;.,.,
UNDER VACANT ROUSE

COLUMBUS Ca. Nov Alone Of, the
most brutal cases. of murder in the his
tory of Columbus was discovered by the
police early yesterday morning at 54l0
Seventh street. ..s-*f-t- fa,.s...
Signs Of a fight and big splotches, of
blood were seen in front Of house and
the officers went in to Investigate. Inathe
house they. found nothing but under II
packed away up in an almost Isolated
place they found the bodypef a white man
in an unconscious state and almost dead
His head was beaten almost Into jelly.
His face was beat and knocked up almost
beyond recognition. From the nature OF
the wounds it would seem that the ,weap-
on used was a brick or some hard instru-
ment that had done it's work we'll When
the officers had pulled him out they rec
ognized the victim to be r. A.. Owens,
a well-known painter, who lived in the
city. He was carried to the hospital and
medical attention given him, but he died
at 1890 this morning. $50
Just who owens assailants are~is the
question that Is puzzling the police. There
is not the slightest clue for the officers
TO work on. s., 's .e- .a-.. $50 y
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
DRAWS ONLY .
ONE. SALARY
THE EFFORT MADE TO "sHoW,
UP" CHIEF BolFEUILLET,
OF MACON, FALLS
FLAT.

3 MACON. Ca. Nov. s.-CouncH held an
old-tinle session last night. Poplar street
was allowed TO remain open until the lst
Of March. so that all the merchants and
planters who have been summoned this
week for trespassing on the parks will not
be required TO appear before the record
er. To get even for the loss. OF that res
olution. Alderman Massee introduced an
ordinance requiring that Third street be-
tween Mulberry and Cherry be thrown
open so wagons and pedestrians may trav-
Ell on the parks. This was referred 70 the
committee on ordinances and, resolutions
and win come up later. Alderman Massee
then introduced a resolution asking the
Boifeuillet is absent in Atlanta by permits
sion or authority Of the proper authori-
ties. and IL he is drawing his salary as
chief during his absence as clerk OF the
house Of representatives. Alderman Pear
son arose instantly and said IT would be
easy TO answer the questions without as
certaining anything further than is al
ready known. He said that when the
chief was elected to the position as clerk
Of the house of representatives he was
allowed to hold both positions, with the
understanding that his salary as chief OF
police should stop during his absence
from Macon. The chairman also stated
that the chief had never taken any of the
holidays allowed each year In the police
department had never lost a day from
sickness. and had refused numberless in
vitations 70 attend conventions, etc, out
OF the city. He then asked IL there were
any other questions to be asked about the
matter. There being none. the resolution
was allowed to remain in the hands of the
clerk without disposition.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
MUTILATED BODY
FOUND IN A BARREL


CHICAGO, Nov. 5.-The body of a man
whose head was almost severed from his
body, was discovered in a -four barrel on
a strip of prairie near Rice Street and
Western avenue today. a.1it.
The victims feet were securely bound
I'm a gunny sack and the body doubled
from which ii was apparent that his
slayer or slayers had experienced diff
Guilty in forcing the body into the Fecep-
tacle. e
Beside the wound in the neck there was
a deep cash on the mans faces ~
The man Is believed to be Antonio Ma
pail, who, with % other Italian laborers,
reached Chicago last night from Iowa
Center, Iowa. The address, Salvador
and Luigi NJ Nigro. 402 LIZ Clark street,
was found on a letter in the dead mans
coat. On that firms books was found
the name of Antonio Napah, and his adj
dress was given as Box s43, Liverrnore,
Iowa.
The man was about 80 years old. dark
hair and complexion; red moustache and
wore Clay, worsted cutaway suit; cellu-
loid collar. purple tie, dark brown shoes.
Chief Of Police O'Neill thinks the man
has been the victim Of some vendetta
as a dollar was found on the body.
Later Rocco Cantre, a saloon keeper,
identified the body as that Of Antonio
Napoh. The place where the barrel was
found has been used for years as a dump
ing ground .st
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
PITTSBURG CAPITALISTS 5a I'd.
.t-e ARRIVE AT, GOLD HILL

= III u =
CHARLOTTE, N. Gu Nov. 6.7-Mr- G. 4.
Whitney, of Pittsburg,l and. his party OF
capitalists, arrived at Gold Hill N O.,
Sunday, where for a week they will be the
guests Of Captain e. b. G. Hambley, SUI
perintendenta of the big Whitney, aReduc-
ton Works. The party travelled in a yest-
buled train of five coaches. leaving Pits :
burg Saturday morning In charge or Mr..
Thomas Watt, western passenger agent
of the Pennsylvania railroad. As previous
ly stated In The Journal, Captain. Hambley
has erected a. large and comfortably ar
ranged house for the reception OF his par
ty and has added a large dining room to
the dwelling house he occupies when at
the mine. Such details of provisioning as
an order for 20 turkeys and infinite cham
payne have been carefully attended to.
II will probably be the most expensive bit
Of entertaining ever INDUCED in North
Carolina, George Vandcrbilts hospitality
not excepted. The house party will last
until next Sunday, the 10th instant, when
the special will leave for Pittsburg.
Many of the members of the party are
already interested In the operations of
the whitney Reduction company in this
section and the remainder are prospec-
lively. Their visit may have results of the
greatest Importance. Side trips are pro-
posed to the narrows of the .Yadkin and
the quarries of the Rowan Granite COM
pany at Woodside, other points at which
the whitney company has large interests.
Wednesday will be spent in Salisbury,
where they will be specially entertained
attending the grand, ball that night, ~,
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
.DEPOT]GANS. .
c5.1 ~ So - - - 81 q SAG q 3 3
ARE DRAF TED
ORDINANCES FOR THE REcuLA-
TIoN OF THE CAR SHED WERE
PRESENTED YES
TERDAY.

The ordinance for the regulation OF the
union depot which was suggested by the
board of health and which was drafted
by City Attorney Mayson was introduced
during the session of council Tuesday af-
ternoon by Councilman Grady.
There was no discussion upon the meas
ure. 1t was referred to the ordinance
committee, of which Councilman, Kontz
is chairman, and by that body it will be
considered before the next meeting of
council. a--s $500
The text of the ordinance follows;
Be It ordained by the mayor and gen.
eraI council as follows: .A- 8 -.e.
Sec. /. It shall be- unlawful for any
railroad corporations its agents or en-
ployes, or any other person, to spill or
pour water from cans or engines upon
the floor of the union depot. ee- ~
Sec 2. 1t shall be unlawful for any
railroad company to discharge passengers
across or over any track, upon which a
car or engine has run within 80 minutes
before or does run 80 minutes AFTER sueh
discharge of passengers. ss-f--c.,
Sec. 8. Any railroad, Its, agents or en-
ployes, or any other person, violating the
provisions of. preceding sections shall be
summoned before the recorders court, and
on conviction shall be fined not exceeding
500, or imprisoned not exceeding 30 days
one or both these penalties to be imposed
in the discretion ofsthe recorder. =
Sec. A. All ordinances or parts OF ordi-
nanees in conflict with this ordinance are
hereby repealed. --..g.-- <7
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
TO MASSACRE TROOPS
WAS FILIPINO PLAN
Plot to Put Entire American Garrison
to Death BY Treaehery Is Be.
trayed BY a Woman.

MANILA. Nov. 6.-A plot to massacre
the American garrison at Moneada, Piov-
ince OF Tarlac, Island of Luzon, has been
revealed by the wife OF one Of the con-
spirators.
Several OF the town oficials are implI-
Gated in the murderous scheme.
The woman who revealed the plot hid
a detective beneath a house in which
the leaders Of the conspiracy we're holding
a meeting.
The leaders were arrested and COM
promising papers we're seized.
A house close to the barracks was to be
fired after dark and when the soldiers
came out 10 assist in extinguishing the
flames, $50 conspirators. armed with boles,
were 70 rush on the guard.
Commissioner Wright today took the
oath Of Office as vice governor. He will
be acting governor during the GONZALES
cence OF Governor Taft who probably will
be unable to resume his duties for some
weeks to come.
The United States Philippine commits
sion today passed the treason laws with
slight alterations. Several Filipinos spoke
against them.
The newspapers here approve of the APP
pointment.
The federalists are holding a convention
TO arrange for a petition TO congress ask
Ing that body TO grant autonomy TO the
philippines, with a governor appointed by
the president Of the United States with
veto power over the two houses. the SEN
ate 10 consist of 80 members, IA of them
to be named by the governor and 16 to be
elected.
Atlanta semi-weekly journal. (Atlanta, Ga.) 1898-1920, 1901-11-07
This NEGRO IS
=. INNOCENT SAID PRIEST

CHARLOTTE, No c. Nov. i-Louis
Council, the noted negro prisoner, was
twice hanged at Fayetteville. N. c., under
the most sensational circumstances Sat-
urday. At the instance Of the priest in
attendance, as he stood Upon the trap
ready for the trigger to be sprung, the
condemned man swore by the crucihx
which he--held in his hand that he was
not guilty of the crime of assault, with
which he was charged, and then the
priest, holding aloft the cruci1x and
standing beside the negro, proclaimed in
ringing tones that despite the death war
rant and Governor Aycock an innocent
man was about to be hanged. The trap
was then sprung and the rope parted. The
negro was. picked up, grooming, and ac-
tually stood upon the trap while the moose
was fitted about his neck the second
time. The negro was cool to- the last.
He had been respited three times by the
governor and his case had twice been be-
fore the supreme court of the state. His
alleged crime was the assault of a. white
woman on a farm ing Cumberland county
He disappeared soon after the assault, but
later gave himself up 10 the sheriff. The
that his punishment be made Is years in
the penitentiary. Petitions on both sides
of the question were sent the governor.
Council held a cross with the figure Of
Christ in clasped hands and repeated Of
ten LAS Christ died for love of me, I
die for love OF Christi After his limbs
were bound Father Marion said: Louis
Council, you now know no hope and
have but a minute to live Tell the re-
porter of the press and citizens if you are
innocent r-+ 2" .-'' =
The condemned man said: by this
cross of Christ, / am innocent" Swear
it, said the priest II swear I am i'm
nocent," said the negro. n 81 > =