The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1901-03-24
THE PLAN THAT FAILED.
One BostOn Woman's Futile Effort
to Elevate Conversation


Mrs. Jack, from Boston, is filed with
| the latest ideas. blackwell, Jack is New
| Jersey born and bred
This town." said the young woman
one evening as they sat In their suburban
home. needs improving. / am shocked
when dine out to hear nothing but non
sense talked. There are some clever peo-
pie here. ] have met them. but when
they dine out they leave their cleverness
at home with their everyday clothes.
Il think that we should give some din
ners, four anyway, and If we make the
first one a thorough success we be
sure of the others. We must invite both
young and elderly people. a few bright
and few ordinary ones. because there
are not enough bright ones to go very
| far. Then wen have the conversation up
| 10 Il certain standard and keep it there
On the night of the first dinner party
eVerEthlhS was in propeg array. Not a
! speck of aust to gladden. the ewes of the
guests was visible. The wines were gain
! ing the right temperature and Mrs Jack.
IN a kostonesque dinner gown. was ready
TOR her guests
Il tell you. Mary" said poor Jack, that
! can never talk at a dinner. | don't
know what to say. Who do take out?
Old Mrs. Bangs? / never spoke to her. |
never know what to say to anyone"
Never mind. Jack. dear. / know that
you are positively no good at a dinner
NOW fiSten. / nave written out
list of interesting subjects and pinned it
on the table cloth. Seer And she led
him up to the table. Now don't fail me
but whenever 1t seems dull or people are
not talking, look at this list and talk of
some of the things. Even IL you don't
know about them, appeal to me and III
help you out There IS
Just then the door bell rang and Mrs.
Jack hurried away to greet the first guest.
After they were seated at dinner Mrs.
Jack asked the guest of honor If he had
seen the recent views on the nebular
hypothesis. The answer to her question
and the interest in the subject was SO
slight that she looked at Jack. and he
came valiantly TO the rescue. 1T does
not seem to me, Mary" he called out.
that the meat has been unusually tough
lately
What do you mean. Jack?" This was
with a true Boston information.
Jack looked perplexed, but Mrs. Bangs
wds quite animated and she and the ED
erly man next her had discussion as to
butchers and meat that was eager enough
to let Mrs. Jack to get her bearings again.
The next subject she introduced was
the recent affair In South Africa. The
interest in anything but Dom PauIs ex-
after a few desultory views had been ex-
pressed. the conversation died out.
DO or die thought Jack. and looked
at his list. Speak about James
to say about James aprons, but things
seem pretty dull. so III dash ahead as 1
was told to-.
Il say, Mary, what is the matter with
James aprons? Aren't they all right?
They look like the proper thing.
Visions of the husband or her youth at
Morris Plains Asylum danced before Mrs
Jacks eyes. Aprons, What was the mat
ter with him?
When she had recovered a little she
heard the most elderly man saying TO
Mrs. Bangs: Now can you imagine me
in q check apron with q leather belt? l
always wore them when l a boy
The elderly women described black silk
and other aprons of their youth and the
younger ones laughed merrily. Mrs. Jack
rather cleverly steered the conversation
around to her point again and asked gem
orally, with don -all-speak-at-one
air: who has read the History of Pa
pacy in the XIX Century," After ex-
pressing admiration for the work of Prof
Nippold there was another silence. broken
by one of the young men, who said:
What a thin old gentleman the Pope ISL
Good-he5rted Jack rushed to the rescue
and broke the deadly silence with: Have
any of You had trouble with getting good
butter lately?"
The foodgates of conversation were
opened and young and old sailed out on
the stream. Boarding school. college club,
summer hotel. and gilt edge butter was
discussed and talked of and amid peals
of laughter the dinner was ended.
The men smoked, going as they pleased
conversationally, and the ladies in the
drawing room carried on the conversation
on. the lines laid down by their host at
dinner
After everyone had gone, Jack said,
with an air of conscious rectitude. We'll,
Mary, that dinner went off pretty well,
didn't it,"
jack she said Historically, where
did you put your list and why did you
talk of such awful things?'
Awful things? Why, l talked about
every single thing you wrote down, and
l thought | kept them going pretty well.
Old Mrs. Bangs squeezed my hand when
she left and said she wished she could
always sit by me at dinner. They all said
it was a jolly dinner"
But what made you talk about meat,
and James aprons, and-Oh, Jack. 1t was
too dreadful
Great Scott. Mary, didn't you give me
the list-here it is. Seei 1t begins Speak
about tough meat; speak about James
aprons; last butter from grocer's bad.
talked about them all just as you asked
me to, and If l hadn't l think your din
ner party would have been pretty dull"
Mary took the list. Ii was her memo
randum for the day. on the back of it
she had written the list of subjects for
Jack. Unfortunately. or fortunately lit
depends upon the point of view. in PIN
ming il on the tablecloth the memoran-
dunn side was uppermost.