Evening star., 1901-09-07
Fun and Frpic ID the Life Behind the
Scenes.
TOLD IN ACTRESS AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Depicted With M!gor and En|'vened
With Anecdote.
P r A CTIC AL JOK KES
Written for The Evening Star by Clara Morris

DAeAehS WoutO nave called an agrlWa-
tor" and as it is frequently repeated,
ask myself where is the curiosity about
the theater, its people and its life, to
END! The question is: what social con-
ditions exist behind the scenes?" Now.
TO De quite frank, the first few times
this query appeared l was distinctly ag-
gravated. 1 said to. myself, do these la
dies and gentlemen-yes, three males are in
tnls inquiring group-do they think we are
people so apart from all others that we
require separate and distinctly different
social code-that we know nothing Of the
law governing the size. style and use Of the
visiting card-that congratulations, condo
iences are unknown rites-that invitations,
acceptances and regrets are ancient He
brew to us. and calls, teas. dinners and
dances are exalted functions far above our
comprehension? And then l read the Ques-
tlon again and saw was making a ninny
or myself-an easy thing to do with the
thermometer at 80 in the shade-that it
SAID: Behind the scenes" and with a
laugh l recalled the little child who had
deilghtedly witnessed her first Christmas
pantomime, and being told afterward that
was one or the people in the play, she
watched and listened eagerly some time
before coming and resting dimpled hand
on mine, to ask disappointedly: Please
goes zoe an the actin people have ''emselves
tot, she had expected at least a few twirls
about the room, few bounds and hand
kisses, and here / was "'having jes' like
any one So, all my mistaken vexation
gone, III try to make plain our social con-
dition behind the scenes.
One Big Family.
In the first place, then, a theatrical COM
pany is almost exactly like one large fam
lily. Our feeling for one another is gen.
nf
our manners there is an easy familiarity,
which we would not dream Of using out
side of our own little company circle We
are socially inclined people, communica-
tive, fond of friendly conversation and
hopelessly given over to jokes. Or, as we
put 1t, Ito Suying." But don't imagine
there's any socialism about a theater-
that means community of property and as
soc1ation; on the contrary, we enter into
the keenest competition with one another.
L dare say an outsider-as the non-profes-
sional has been termed time out of mind
watching our conduct for a few days and
nights would conclude that, though quite
harmless, we are all little mad, for the
actors funny habit of injecting old, old
lines of old, old plays into his everyday
conversation must be somewhat bewilder-
Ing to the uninitiated. If an elderly,
heaVy-breathtng, portly gentleman. lifting
marks, "Beshrew me, but l do love thee
still! Isn't it hot this morning? Take this
chair" Or If very slender, pop-eyed
young comedian. while wiping his brow,
hold 1t not a SIM And some one else
calmly answers, You haven't got those
words right, old man, and you couldn't
drink anything hot today without having
a fiji" Or If two big, stalwart men, meet
ing In the entrance" fall suddenly into
each others arms, with a cry Of Ca
miller "Arnfand!' Or If a man enters
the green room with his hat on and half
a dozen npOnlp IA la
an ale house. that you can enter with such
a swagger?' and the hat comes off with
a laughing apology. Or If the man with
the cane is everlastngly practicing carte
sword fight with any one who has an UNI
brella- If woman passes with her eyes
cast down, reading letter. and some one
says, "1n maiden meditation fancy free"
If she eats a sandwich at long rehearsal
and some one instantly begins, "a crea-
ture not too bright nor good for human
natures daily food"' If she appears in
conspicuously new gown and some one
cries. "The riches of the ship have come
on Shore" ten to one she replies "a poor
thing, but mine own!" These things will
look and sound queer and highty to the
outsiders who are not thoroughly ac-
Quainted with the plays from which the
lines are taken and cannot Of course, see
how aptly some of them adapt themselves
to the situation. But this one is plain To
all. young girl who was a very careless
dresser was trailing along the entrance"
one evening, when behind her the leading
man, quoting Juliet. remarked, 'Thou
knowest the mask of night is on my cheek
or 1 should not dare tell you your petit
coat is coming Off" A perfect gale of
laughter followed. in which the little
sloven Joined heartily.
Lines Well Remembered.
One morning, rehearsal being dismissed,
1 was hurrying away, intending to enjoy
a ride on horseback, when Mr. Davidge
Mr. Days "oId man,"-iifting his hat
politely and twisting Macbeth's words
very slightly, remarked: II wish your
horse swift and sure Of foot, and so 1 do
commend you to its back" and as I
laughed: Macbeth. act ILL.," we parted
in mutual admiration for each others
knowledge Of the great play.
The gentlemen are attentive to the lady's
bringing wrap, a glass of water, tanning
her IL she is warm, carrying her long train
If 1t is heavy-but never, never losing the
chance to play Joke on her IL they can.
green room fun-for most actors are very
Impatient Of waits between the scenes
and would rather pass such time in pranks
than in quiet conversation On one occa-
sion some Of the actors had made noise
enough to reach the managerial ear and
they were fined The actresses laughed at
their discontinue and revenge was at once
in order. Next night. four young men
with them and when their wait came
they all sat quietly in a row and sewed
steadily The sight was so ludicrous the
women went off into unbounded laughter
and were in their turn fined.
Swesr Words Unpopular.
Nothing excuses the use of swear words
behind the scenes, and even a very mild
indulgence is paid for by heavy forfeit.
One actor, not too popular with the COM
pany, used aiWaysato be late, and coming
into the dressing room he would fling
everything about and knock things over,
causing any amount OF annoyance to his
room mates He went on in hut one act
the third-afd the lateness of the hour
made his lack of Business promptitude the
more marked AS joke was Of course in
order, and al practical joke at that. One
evening he wis later than usual and that
was the opportunity of his joking room
mates They carefully dropped some pow
erful, strong holding gum into the heels
of his patent leather Shoes and had barely
put them in place when the ever late actor
was heard coming on the run down the
passage In eafe tore, f1inginG things right
and left-overturning make-ups and knock
ing down precious silk hats He grabbed
his shoes -jammed his foot into one
scowled and exclaimed disgustedly: what
the deuce! there's something In his shoe.