davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09
My Neixhbor In the Flat

My Neixhbor In the Flat.
I never really met her.
Yet I know I can't forget her
Should live to be as ancient at the late
Methusalum:
For thin was the partition.
And her favorite position
Was at an old piano. where she'd
drum. drum. drum!
She was at it in the morning.
When she'd wake me without warning.
And she'd keep the thing a-eoihs thr'us"
the entire blessed day;
And when Ia strive to slumber
Some Internal old back number
From the Young Beginners Aipuin she
be sure to up and play.
With old Mozart and Beethoven
She had no excuse for fofn.
But she'd raise the very mischief with some
silly ragtime dance:
And though with List and Chopin
She was never fond OF copin'.
She'd knock the very cover from a horrid
akewalk prance.
The piano she assaulted
Must nave graced the castle vaulted
or a- ancient discord-raiser In the early
days of Rome;
And / scarcely need to mention
That the thing deserved a pension.
And a chance to end existence In some
hospital or home.
or course I couldn't stay there.
For II seemed as II each day there
Was a little worse than 'tother one IL such
a thing could be:
So 1 gathered up my chatteis
And 1 left that box Of rattles'
As I fed from those apartments JUST as
quick a. I could fee.
II is true I never met her.
But l really can't forget her
Should / live to be grandpapa 10 the ia'o
Methusalum.
Oh. that wretched thin part'tioh:
Is IL still her foul ambition
To slaughter that pianner with her 1rum'
drum, drum?
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09
To the Judge,

| Friend Of my earliest youth.
| Can't you forget you're a Judge
| And visit a fellow out here In the woods
Out OF the dust of the town?
| Can't YOU forget you're a Judge
And nut by your dolorous frown
1 And tan your wan face In the smile of q
friend
can't you arrange 10 co"e ao""'
| Can't Won FORGET for awhile
Thu arguments prosy and drear-
To lean a, full length IN indefinite rest
In the Ian Of the greenery here?
can, COZ, L,ck over .tbe Bencb."
Ava ..brsL, vourso,f out of vour vo~
r. d,rs,a vo,r logs uhere the 6sb,nv "a
80
1884 -
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09
Anecdotes Of InRersoII.

Senators Morrill,. Voorhees, and German
were conversing together outside the Sem
ate chamber. Colonel Ingersoll CHANGED to
pass by. Mr.. Voorhees, greeted him and
said: I'VE are discussing the meaning Of
Improbable: what is your definition Of the
word?' Promptly Colonel Ingersoll replied:
1T il a negro going in an opposite direc-
ton from a brass band"
Colonel Ingersoll was a temperate man,
but not a teetotailer. One day Mrs. James
G. Blaine was passing through Fifteenth
street. opposite the Treasury Department.
when out from a liquid refreshment saloon
came Colonel Ingersol and a friend. My
dear Colonel" she said, you would not be
seen coming out Of such a place, would
your MY dear madam replied he,
would you expect me to stay there all the
Observation-Disclosures Times.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09
Reflections Of q Bachelor.

There is nothing like a new baby to
knock women's clubs and politics out Of .
woman.
II women really looked like the fashion
plates claim they ought to. hydrophobis
would become the national disease.
The most truthful woman in the world
will make her husbands proposal a lot
more romantic than IL really was when she
tells 1t to another woman.-New York
Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

- HbOyeh AIuShhkS0s
I'd hate to be the Kaiser with 30 many
irons to heat:
I'd hate to be the Kaiser with his military
suite.
I shouldn't like to stop . brick-it wouldn't
please me much:
I'd hate to be the Kaiser though he bosses
all the Dutch.
rd hate to be King Edward with his awful
fussy style:
ia hate to be a~-changing Of my garments
all the while.
ia hate to think Of starving folks In India.
wouldn't you?
I'd hate to be King Edward. though his
ships may rule tho blue.
I'd hate to Be the Emp'ror Of the Russians
mighty land:
I'd hate to be the target Of an evil-minded
band.
I'd think Of drear Siberia with ice fields
stretching nat:
I'd hate to DO the Emp'ror. though he is az
autocrat IN sEA
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09
Procrastinator's Lu11al

procrast1natoP's Lullaby.
The letter hat I ought to write'
And put of day BY day.
The many tasks ] ought 10 90,
The calls / ought to pay,
The social favors that ! owe.
And should return-someway.
I think OF them and yawn-heigh-o-o!
I'll wait another day.
The sick l ought to go to see.
The garments I should mend.
The books promised to return
oh, torments without end!
They all rise up like skeletons
Ana mock me. but someway
I think of them and yawn-heigh-o-o!
I'll wait another day.
The poem that ! ought to write.
The fame l should attain.
The laurels that my hands would reach.
The name l hope To gain.
They urge me. scourge me. beckon me.
Revile me. but someway
I sit and think and yawn-heigh-o-o!
I'll wait another day.
The little good l ought to do.
The poor | ought to aid,
The weak I should lend succor TO.
All in my mind arrayed,
March angrily and to and fro.
I ought to-but someway
I sit and dream and yawn-heigh-o-oi
I'll wait another day.
The preparations I should make
For better life some day.
The medicines that I should take.
The prayers l ought to pray.
They troop before me to and fro.
And call me. but someway
i don't fee, like ii now-heigh-o-o!
I'll wait another day.
Since you're my friend-a valued friend
I don't mind telling you.
To do 'em all I do intend
The tasks l ought to do
] thought this morning this would "
The day. but now someway.
I'm tired: ! don't believe-heigh-o-o!
I'd better work to-day!
bismarck Tribune.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

The Surgeon: We shall have to operate
for the removal Of your appendix vermi-
formis.'
Chronic Croaker: Whats the good of
that? I'd grow another on~e."-Chicago
Tribune.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

d these North Pole explorers ever ac-
complish anythingy'
"Oh. yes. they often come back and start
out again."-Detroit Free Press.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

A Musical Dtvefsi<,n.
Sue. have you MIXED the cowsT"
Eyes. dad"
AN killed a shoat fer Sunday"
"Jest have"
AN hoed the gardenr'
al over
well. then. put on the greens fer din
ner. an you kin go an play the pianner fer
yer gran'daddyr-Exchange
Let Something Good he said.
When over the fair fame of friend or foe
The shadow of disgrace shall full: instead
OF words Of blame. or proof of thus and SO.
Let something good be said.
Forget not that no fellow-being yet
May fall 80 low but love may lift his head;
Even the cheek OF shame with tears Is wet
II something good be said.
No generous heart may vainly turn aside
In ways of sympathy: no soul NO dead
But may awaken strong and sloriiied
II something good be said.
And % ] charge ye by the thorny crown
And by the cross on which the Savior bled.
And by your own souls hope of fair renown.
Let something good be said.
james Whitcomb Riley.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09
Music.


Hester: Il hope you don't believe what
Fred Saunders says. He has been In love
with every girl in town. first and last.
Bertha: That's why I value his judg-
ment. you know. 4 man of his experience
may he trusted to know a good thing when
he sees it.'-Boston Transcript.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

MY wife didn't stay but . week down at
her mothers"
"Homesick?'
"No; but her younger sisters admired cur
baby 20 much they nearly washed It to
piecea-LChicago Record-Herald.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

a north country miner. aged q. VISITED
a lawyer to make his will. The old mans
property consisted of two small cottages.
which had cost him $50. The lawyer asked
him how he wished to dispose of 1t.
I Ma aud woman is to hev II all 50 lars
as she's ma widow. after that BARNS to hav
ALL" replied the client.
What age is your wife?' asked the law
yer.
"Seventy-two.' was the reply.
How long have you been married?"
cover fifty years"
| The lawyer suggested that under the cir
cumstances he should let his wife have the
little property during her life. whether she
remained a widow or not.
IA winnot. IA winpot.' exclaimed the
old man: "Aa'll hev ma ain wey."
But surely you don't expect an old won
an now over 20 would ever dream of marry
ing again."
The miner looked the lawyer in the face
and answered very solemnly:
well. sonny. thor's ma knowing what
young chaps like yourself will dae for Sill
er."-London T1d-Bit
Tommy's Mistake.
Father: Come. young man.. get your
Jacket of and come with me-"
Tommy: You're not going to lick rae.
are you. dad7"
Father: Certainly: didn't I tell you this
morning that I should settle with you for
wour bad behavior"
Tommy: Yes; but I thought II was only
a Joke. like when you told the grocer Tou
was going to settle with h.m-"-Tit-Bits.
Music.
MY companions craven cowardice srrf-
tated me.
why don't you face the muscr' I
cried.
"Alas!' said he. what II I should
thereby countenancs something unchassi-
cal?''
Now this was the first hint I had that
he was from Boston. or Pittsburg. or some
other town with a permanent symphony or
chestra and no sense Of humor.-Detfoit
Journal.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

why do they call this q burlesque?'
asked Mr.. Meddergrass Of his city cousin,
who had taken him to the theater.
Oh. because 1t IL simply q take-oK." re-
piled the city cousin.
well. I guess It H." said Mr.. Medder-
grass. a. the amazon march began--Ex-
change. =.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09


Miss A.. who IL a teacher OF English In a
school Of high rank in her native State.
Mississippi. and who. in spite Of her vivaci-
ty In conversation. Is perhaps. II anything.
too fastidious In her choice of words. was
spending the summer at the New York
Chautauqua. Her dow Of spirits made her
the delight Of the dining table. at which
she was first seated. but at the end OF .
fortnight she was moved by her landlady
to another place. A lady from Boston. who
had been sitting opposite the SOutherner.
expressed her regret at the change. Il am
so sorry you are going to leave U.s." she
said with warmth: I'VE have all enjoyed
your dialect SO much."-Harper's Magazine.
False! Falser' shrieked the hero Of the
latest dramatization in falsetto tones
d you say that to m facet" screamed
the heroine.
Il say 1t to your very teethr'' roared
the hero.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Dukans: .Thi long wet spell must
be discourastng to the Buffalo Exposition
authorities
Mr.. Gaswell: Surely: tho exposition Il en-
titled to fair weather.-PtttsburE Chronicle
Telegraph.
Oh. Mandy Jane. an Lie beside her.
Done scared white BY . big black spider.
Look away. look away.
dook away. Mandy Jana
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

Harry" she said. thoughtfully.
what is it?' responded the worried busi-
ness man. rather shortly.
II wish you could rearrange your business
a little bit"
"HowT'
$50 as to he a bear on the Stock Ex-
change instead Of at home. "-Tft-Bits.
Willie: Teacher told us to-day that
there's a certain kind o. tree that grows
out o. rocks. / can't remember wnat 1t was.
DO you know. pap
PA: It's a family tree. I guess."-Ex-
change.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

A80
Seq I-sez I to Mary:
Needn't toss Q head:
Ell / pillow the cornAeld
You must bake the bread
EUR away from riches.
Poverty my lot;
Ef I reau the harvest
You must keep the cot
swhen Of work a-weary-
Home'ards comm late.
You must have Q welcome
At . rosy gate.
SORROWS will be plenty
whar our lot may be;
You must bear the burdens
Long the road with me-"
Tossin' Of her head still.
Tells me. plain an fair:
'Think I'll take the city.
An q millionaire"
Frank L. Stanton.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

II see that there is a great scarcity OF
ja rs in this country"
Fruit or family ?"-Exchange.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

Charitable Old Lady: Poor weman! And
are you a widow?"
Beggar: Worse than a widow, na'am- Me
'usband's Twin. an / have to support HIM"
-Tit-Rits.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

More Than He Could Stand.
That new clerk has gone back to the
country"
what forT"
"Oh. the ROSTERS Growing over in that
commission house across the street made
him Unconstitutional Free P-ess-
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1901-06-09

An old darby went to Memphis the other
day to get his pension check cashed. After
receiving his money. which amounted to $ll.
the old ex-slave sauntered down Front
street to a produce-house and bought three
crates of cabbages. When they were defv-
cred at the wharf late that afternoon the
old man was there and received them with
a mouth watering In anticipation Of the
good time ahead.
"whut yer gwine ter do wild dem cab
bages?'' inquired the negro drayman who
delivered them.
Eat 'em." was the quick response; Use
bin free forty years. and dis is do first time
Use had de money to buy 'nuf: cabbage.
Use gwine ter eat cabbage till J. furgit de
way ter my mouf."-Argonaut.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
OKLAHOMA INDIAN LANDS.

OKLAHOMA INDIAN LANDS.
Lone Wolf and twelve or fifteen
other Indians, representing the
Kiowa. Comanche and Apache tribes
appeared before the secretary of the
interior and made verbal protest
against the opening of any part Of
their lands in Oklahoma to settle.
ment under the act of the latest ses.
sion of congress. They were intro
duced by Judge Springer. Several Of
them declared that the agreement for
the cession Of their lands had not
been secured by legitimate methods
Judge Springer presented the COM
plaint of the Indians in detail. SEQ
retary Hitchcock told the Indians
that he had only received them as a
matter of courtesy, and that under no
circumstances could he consider their
presentation while their case was
pending in the courts.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21

OUR WASHINGTON LETTER
Our Weekly Correspondence From the Nations Capital
City.

do not include men belonging to the
United States There are 1883
buildings in the city, of which 8, 7S1
are good, 1,135 bad and 1,472 small
and 10, III classed as shacks.
A sensational story is published
that a Chinese contractor has been
feeding his employees on glandered
horses which is said to account fol
the spread of considerable sickness in
the vicinity Of Manila.
The board of health is endeavorine
to obtain information which will en-.
able 1t to take measures to prevent
the spread of cattle diseases in the
island, as such diseases have proved
very detrimental to the natives Of the
islapda
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
CENSUS OF MANILA.

Manila papers received Mt the wal
department contain articles of more
or less Importance concerning thai
city and the Philippines. The Manila
Times give the result of a census
taken by Lieutenant H. L. Gilchrist
for tho board of health completed
about the first of May. This census
gives the population of Manila at
a44. 93s, divided as follows;
Filipinos, 1si, 1851; Chinese, ol'ooi
Americans, $50; Spaniards, 2,SSo
othey pationalities, 96O These figures
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
REPORT ON CANAL.

Admiral Walkers report on the
isthmian canal will soon be ready for
transmission to the president. The
report is more favorable to the Pana.
ma project than was the preliminary
report of the commission. The mem
bers of the commission now increase
by about q, 900, 900 their estimate Of
the present value of the Panama pro-
perty. In ronnd figures, they think
the Panama plant worth $40, 900, 900.
But they point out that this does not
include the s24O, 600, 900 Of stock held
by the French people.
In other words, if the United States
could buy the Panama plant for $40, :
900, 900, in the opinion of the COM
mission, It would be bargain. But
this is known to be impossible.
1t is asserted by friends Of the
Nicaragua route that powerful con-
spiracy has been formed to "hold
up" the canal enterprise, partly In
the interest of the Panama people
and partly at the instigation of the
transcontinental railway interests.
Indeed, it is charged that these two
interests have virtually combined, and
that they have among their support
ers some Of the most prominent men
in the republican party.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
AGENT WANTED.

W. want live. active representa-
tive in your territory at once to en-
gage In q very profitable business
General and local agents wanted.
From e5 to $40 day. Advanced rap
idly. Hood references reonired. Tnose
ont Of employment or wishing to bet
ter themelves address.
Department K, Corner Perins ana
Union Sts.,
a Akron. Ohio.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21

This is for cash subscriptions only.
All subscriptions under this combina'
ton offer must b. sent through the
Htfald Office.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
AGENTS WANTED.

Live. active men and women can
laYn from IS to $40 day by can :
vassing tor Frank g. Carpe1ts7's
book, "SOUTH AMERICA; SOCIAL,
INDUSTRIAL AND POLITICAL. I"
This book Is just ont and Is having en-
enormous sale. Everybody wants 1t.
As It Is being sold by subscription
only, We desire representatives who
are hustlers to Introduce the work in
your territory, Most liberal terms.
Write today for territory and full par
ticulars to
The bhstield Publishing Company,
n Akron, Ohio.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
SENTENCE IMPOSED ON IMP

SENTENCE IMPOSED ON IMPEY.
The loss Of ten numbers in his
grade and reduction of his pay to
furlough pay for two years and to be
publicly reprimanded is the sentence
imposed by courtmartial upon Cap
tain Robert e. Impey at present sta
tiond at Mare Island navy yard. The
captain was charged with scandalous
conduct in having represented to q
dentist that his bill must be reduced
because it required the approval OF
the treasury officers, whereas this was
purely personal matter. Secretary
Long has remitted the part of the
sentence recommending that Captain
Impey should be placed ION furlough
for two years, mot because of any
olemenoy which Captain Impey is re
garded as meriting, but for the rea-
son that the department does not want
him to remain in idleness for two
years when the services of all officers
are required on active duty"
LITTLE DIFFICULTY EXPECTED
1t is learned that when the Cuban
commission was in Washington dele
gates informed Sec'y Root that they
did not think it would be possible to
have the CubaD government organ
lied before February, owing to the
fact that certain procedures must be
had under their new constitution.
The opinion is expressed at the war
department that there will be little
or no difficulty in effecting change
from American to Cuban civil con-
troll. The civil service which General
Wood has oragnized is largely com-
posed of Cabans, and it is believed
that the new government will utilize
this machinery.
Secretary Root has issued an order
which goes into effect on May ! next
adding English literature. algebra
and plane trigonometry to the present
course at West Point.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21

"In Ralph have fine type of erelan vigorous
ambitious American "-Chicago TimesHerad
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
CENSUS OF MANILA
The Battleship Illinois Made a
High Record for Speed. Okla
homa Indian Lands,

Washington, D. C.-The news in
the specials form Pekin convey to the
Official mind here the belief that
what is known as the British -Ameri-
can plan of settling the indemnity
question is making headway, and that
1t Will in the end be adopted as the
only feasible scheme. The firm atti-
tude of the United States In declin-
ing to enter into joint guarantee of
the enormous bond issue is believed
to have had it's effect in including the
ministers to accept the British Amer
lean proposal. 1t is certain that any
movement toward the settlement of
the indemnity question must result in
unanimity to be effective. Although
often mentioned, the details Of the
British plan have not heretofore been
given, and they were learned Satur
day from an authoritative source to
be rs follows:
The Chinese government is to issue
bonds to each Of the powers to the
amount of the indemnity due each.
These bonds arc to bear per cent in
terest with clause providing halt
per cent for amortization. Certain of
the Chinese revenues, not specifically
designated in the proposition are to
be earmarked for the liquidation of
the bonds. A committte appointed by
the foreign powers Is to take charge
OF questions relating to the revenue
thus earmarked, and the committee is
to arrange details by which the reve-
nues are to be applied ON the bonds
In case of default on the bonds, the
default is to be to the committee and
not to the several powers. The fore
going is in substance the entire pro-
position. but later 1t was proposed Il.
addition that the period of the bonds
be thirty years, and that they be is
sued in instaliments. In this form
the proposition stood up to within a
few days ago, but it is not known in
what particular it may have been
modified by the ministers.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21

schools around branch taught
Bankers Officials ald Former Students Our grad
filling the highest positions in this and adjoining States Beau /
/ mems o penmanship and full particulars free
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21

4. q. HINsoN, G. P. A Chicago.
W. 4. KELIoNp. A. 6. p. a. Louisville
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1901-06-21
THE BATTLEsHIP ILLINOIS.

IdE BAIIbESHlF lDLlNOlS.
OF evcn greater speed than first sup
posed, the battleship Illinois is justly
entitled to wear the naval broom at
her masthead. Her official speed, as
determined by the board of inspeo-
tion and survey, after considering the
tidal corrections reported is II. 40
knots per hour. Rear Admiral r. d.
Evans, president of the board, Off
cially communicated this information
to Secretary Long. This record is IA
knots better than that estimated i'm
mediately after her trial and without
taking tidal condition into considera-
tion.
Secretary Long is highly gratifed
at the high speed made by the illi-
nois. The secretary believes in bat
tleship having as much speed as pos
sible. taking into consideration her
armor and armament and coal carry
ing capacity. The province of bat
tleship is to fight, not to run, the SEQ
retary holds, and he has consistently
advocated policy Of as heavy arma-
ment and as much protection as can
be obtained upon given displace-
ment. The six latest ba ttleships con-
tracted for under Mr.. Longs admin
istration are designed to produce
eighteen knots speed, but by reason of
machinery Improvements no diminu-
tion of battery power or protection
has occurred. As mattor Of fact all
these vessels carry more powerful
batteries than the Illinois class.
Comparison of the Illinois with for
eign battleships shows that taking
into consideration nrmor and arma-
ment, she is superior to any OF her
tonnage in foreign navies Her speed
Is less than British battleships, OF
thousand tons greater displacement,
but their speeds are often determined
by the patent log and are therefore
fictitious.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1901-04-27
IT'S EASY TO FEEL GOOD,

Countless thousands have found Il
blessing 10 The body in DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. which positively cure constl>
patton, Sick Headache. Dizziness, JaIn-
dice, Malaria, Fever itnd Ague and all
Liver and Stomach troubles. Purely
vegetables never grippe or weaken. Only
25c at all druggists or at \. j. Della.
Housewives drug store.