The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1901-08-02
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS

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West Point from Atchison, has been
appointed military governor of Lag
una province in Luzon.
A crusade against dogs was started
at Neodesha by people who sleep on
porches complaining that the dogs
prowled about smiling and barking.
When the Kansas City Star said
that no man OF gentlemaly tastes
would go in his shirt sleeves, it forgot
that self preservation is the first law
OF nature.
II the doctors are correct when they
say that humidity kills when IL reaches
90, says the Atchison Champion, then
we figure it hung about 59f here the
past week.
A Santa Fe engineer who pulled
into Topeka late the other day and
reported that he was delayed by
washout is being sat upon by an in
sanity board.
They we're unloading freight at
Winfield. zone crate OF snakes"
sang out the brakeman, and the con-
ductor checked of a jug consigned to
business man.
There is man in Salina with nerve.
Recently a shower passed his Office
but failed TO visit his home. He told
his wife it was because she didn't pray
as hard as he did.
Those Mormon elders who are vast
ing time trying to convert Junction
City might better go to Wisconsin and
work on the Youngers. Junction is
proud of being bad.
A Salina farmer expects to reap
wealth from the discovery that cattle
will eat shredded wheat bi scuit, which
taste so much like hay the cows don't
know the difference.
A man nameu Noah is going into
business at Independence. The old
boy must have been sea-sick on the
ark and is seeking place where there
) is no danger of repetition.
Down along the Arkansas Valley
the farmers figure that if Kansas wins
ing water the tears of the Coloradoans
will maintain a good supply.
According to Hicks to-day is a
"Venus period of perturbation. ="
Well. the old girl will be welcome
Kansas is ready to buy atmospheric
perturbations at so much per.
Charlie Shuckers of Sedan gets into
the dry weather story class with the
statement that he had to drive his one
pig to the river and let it soak for an
hour before it would hold swill.
One is reminded of the old song
about the imam who was wondrous
wise and jumped into bramble bush, -
when reading how Rev. See of Salina
was pitched into a barbed wire fence
1t is said good many Dickinson
county girls have gone to college on
the family COW. At any rate the
county dairies are an important fac
tor in the average family money mat
tiers.
x.Governor Morrill, notes an i'm
portant difference between the drouth
this year and in 1860. In 1860 loan
money brought 80 per cent interest:
this year there is plenty at five per
cent,
a. c. Sprague. of Cherokee, learned
by telephone that the wheat on his
farm was burning. He drove to the
scene and while watching the valuable
crop disappear, suddenly fell dead of
apOpleXy.
a Kansas paper says truthfully that
the only reason this state has not
taken sides in the Sampson Schley
row is because there is SO little water
out this way people don't feel nautical
enough to Judge,
Pittsburg girls have a Protective
Association that keeps member at
each depot on Sundays and list is
taken of all boys who visit out of town
birls on the Sabbath. These are
glacklisted if they persevere.
Horses are smart animals. Up at
Ottawa the fad of putting a straw hat
on their heads was only in vogue a
few day when one stylish nag, not sat
listed with his head gear, ran away
and broke into millinery store.
The Oswego men who went to Colo
RADIO to see the family supposed TO be
the notorious Benders have reported
that it is false alarm. 1t would be
much easier to wait till they are all
dead and then catch them at family
reunion.
! Here is sample OF new Rhymes
of Mother Goose" by Frances Cole
Mary ate jam, Mary ate jelly, Mary
went home with a pain in her -.
Now don't get excited, don't be mis-
lead. Mary went home with pain in
her head. "
The Severance News complains that
that old town after running itself for
thirty years and enjoying its fun and
/ its sorrows its privileges and its sins
is being made miserable by a strange
preacher who is knocking on Sunday
amusements,
Mary Brechbill. of Dickinson
county, who devotedly attended the
revivals of the Firebrands two years
ago has gone insane. The neighbOrs
at the time tried to duck the man who
lead the meetings and it looks now as
If they were right.
A tough story comes from Atchison.
A small boy named Garside jumped
off his fathers barn and parachutted