davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

their Jimmies and Jacks into the Pool.
we will send Agents into their respec-
tive Territories to steal up everything
before they can get at it, thus teaching
them the Beauties of Cooperation.
We will compel them to eat Humble
Pie and get into the Band Wagon on
our Terms
1T looks Good" said the Burglar,
and l suppose it viii be sufficiently
Illegal to make it Enjoyable
The Legality of the Deal cuts no
Figure so long as we are not Landed. .
said the Organizer. There will be a
Crackerjack Lawyer, employed by the
Year, whose one Duty it will be to
keep the Directors out of Jail If there
is any Hue and Cry against the Mono
poly, we can get some one with white
Side-Whiskers to be Interviewed, and
he will explain why it will be better
for the People to have iaeir Houses
entered by the Representatives Of a
large and carefully managed Corpora
ton
This viii certainly be Lavender for
those who get in on the Ground Floor, =
said the Burglar. But why are you.
without any Private Interest a Porch
Climber Of any Experience = picking
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
All hail to the Easter Bonnet!
JEWELLERS IN THE HILLS"
MIR. Melville d. Posts New Novel;
NirRinia n

MIR. Melville ID. Posts New Novel-A
West Virginia Romance.
The magazines have great deal to
say nowadays about the new novel Of
Mr. Melville D. Post, "Dwellers in the
Hills" The New York publishing
house of G. P. Putnam's Sons announce
the book as their most important pub
LEGATION of the year. The Critic for
April has biographical sketch of the
author. 1t would seem that the literary
reviewers have had their eyes opened to
the fact that the field of romance is
not confined to imaginary kingdoms or
the lives of our colonial grand sires
Mr.. Post has written of the great in
land cattle country of this State, and,
if the New England critics are to be
taken for it, he has produced a remark
able book. He has visuahzed an old
almost unknown civilization with I'M
usual distinctness and he has caught
romantic note that one reviewer re-
marks might we'll belong to some STIR
ring tale of medieval Germany" The
style in which the book is written IS
distinctive and picturesque. When the
manuscript went first to the publishers
the master reader pointed out to the
publisher that here was new, unhack-
neyed, virile style charged with local
color wholly unknown to the world of
letters. 1t is evident, the reviewers
say, that Mr.. Post believes with Flau-
bert that to produce the natural Sc
quence Of events in a piece of literature
one must have studied those events a.
theJ transpired In their natural enyir-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

Cheese and other Delicatessen, fioated
to its Destination in a mixture of Ale
and Sout, sometimes knokn as Liquid
Buckshot. In the Afternoon our Hero
went to his Club and played Pool, and
whoever. had it put on him to buy what
made Milwaukee famous for the 9th
ers. Along in the middle OF the After
noon the McGizzick Theory did not
have Leg to stand on.
At Dinner Time he keyed up on Aqua
Forts and Bitters, which enabled him
to take Nine Coures, with Red. White
couraged, and then four California
Grapes for Dessert. BY this Time Nc
CHECK, Author of the School of Ply
siology, was Liar by the Watch.
In the Evening the Rounder went to
Show. Between Acts he sauntered
out with few Western Gentlemen and
seeped up frequent High Balls, accom-
panied by little Snack of Oyster
Crackers, the Mummified Herring
known as the Blind Robin, Water
Cress and Anchovies. After the Show
they dropped in for their Broiled Lob
ster, Combination Salad Welsh Rabbit
ana Nineteen Rounds of something to
take. At a late Hour the Man who
had demonstrated that McGizzick was
an Ignoramus, went to his Brass Bed
stead and leaped into State of Co.
ma
Next morning his Room was twisted.
Someone had put Bed Of Live Goals
under the Sheet He felt as If he had
swallowed Steam Radiator and some
one had gone down to repair it. and he
had case of Bust-Head and dry
crackly Thirst. He sent for a Physi-
clan, and when the Learned Man came
to make his Diagnosis the Rounder
said Doc, it's my own fault. | ate
some Grapes last night.
MORAL: Avoid Fruit.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
"TENNIE" CLAFLIN AGAIN.

Our old friend Tennessee Claflin,
who with her sister, Victoria Wood
hull, has so long been in the public
eye, first in spirituaEsm, and later in
her and her sisters matrimonial ven
lures, seems destined to remain in the
public eye Indefinitely.
'"Tennie," now Lady Cook, widow of
Sir Francis Cook, has just applied in
London to the Home Secretary to have
the body of her husband who died last
month, exhumed. 1t is said that GER
tain mean individual, disappointed in
not being mentioned in Sir Francis's
will, has circulated the story that he
did not die natural death. Lady
Cook says this story is for purposes of
blackmail Hence the disinterment of
the body.
Had i not been woman of world
wide reputation" said she, Il could
have afforded to let these calumnies
die" AS it is she is determined to
have an autopsy to settle once and for
all time the cause of her husbands
death.
Lady Cook is right. Her worldwide
reputation a Tennessee Claf1in seems
to be her "hoodoo," and up to date
has steadily prevented her from enjoy
ing the peace Of private life.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

years, and now Mr.. johnson intendl
to carry the case TO the United States
Supreme Court in behalf Of the city
AS the case begun by him against the
city to prevent this deal now stands
Mr.. johnson is both plaintiff and de-
PENDANT and enjoys the unique dis
tinction of suing himself. And il
Citizen johnson loses the case Mayor
johnson will have to sign the ordin-
ance and give away what he says is
millions of dollars worth of valuable
property for almost nothing.
What a blessing to American cities
it would be if they all had mayors as
jealous in guarding their interests as
Tom Johnson.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
"TOM' JOHNSON.s Cnrp

Tom l.. johnson, the mayor of
Cleveland. o.. has juc; So bril-
liant coup by which lie as defeated
the scheme Of the PENS. ..ania COM
pany, which had designs ca the Cleve-
land lake front
1t appears that during the late
mayoralty campaign Mayce Farley
drew up an ordinance vi rTlctical-
ly sought to turn the ,etre water
front over to the Penn. Ia com
pany. The measure passed. the Coun-
ell and Farley was about to ratify the
agreement between the city and the
Pennsylvania company when Johnson
denounced the ordinance as a gigantic
steal and secured ten-day injunction
restraining Mayor Farley from sign
ing It. The injunction expired at IL
o'clock Thursday morning. This was
April 4. Now the unwritten law in
Cleveland Dis that the mayor is not to
be sworn in until the 10th. But Mr..
Johnson, IN order to defeat the Penn
sylvania company's project, determin-
ed to set aside this precedent and make
new one. Therefore, early Thurs
day morning he went to the Board of
Elections engaged in making the official
count. hurried them up, and at
1929 he was handed his certi-
ficate of election. In the Office of the
City Clerk he offered his bond for
$4,000. and was sworn in as mayor.
He reached the Office of Mayor Far
Icy i;lst thrty-seven minutes before
the expiration Of the temporary in
Junction and Mayor Farley was COM
PEELED to yield the ONCE to him. Thus
ar. Johnson won his point and the
deal with the Pennsylvanta company
vsmaius unsigned BY the mayor. The
~ front has been In utigation Tor
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
The Modern Fable of the Second
Story Worker and the Organizer


| The Modern Fable of the Second
Story Worker and the Organizer.
| One Nigh a Schemer who was learn
in how to get the Coin without invest
ing anything on his own Hook, wa
awakened by Noise in his Bed Cham
Der. He peeked out over the Coverlet
and saw Professional Burglar trying
in vain to find something valuable
you are on a cold Lay" said the
recumbent Man to the Robber. THE
Assessor and Sheriff have been here
and have failed to uncover any Assets,
so what Chance have you got? There
must be something wrong with your
System of House Breaking or else you
would be following a stronger Lead
than this. Also, permit me to say
that you must be shy on Professional
Courtesy or you would not try to clean
out a Brother who has made a Living
by Sharp Practices ever since he was
seventeen years old"
Alas, the Competition is so keen
and the 3wag so uncertain, we have to
tackle any Job that offers ITSELF" said
the Other.
Il see," said the Schemer, sitting up
on the Husks. The Business is be-
ing put on the Bum by Overproduction
and too many Operating Expenses.
What you want is to get some Smooth
Citizen of about my Build to come
along and merge all the Burglarious
Enterprises into one big Syndicate,
with a New Jersey Charter. We could
give it a harmless and misleading
Name Salch as the American House
Cleaning Company. We can pull
everyone into the Combine. If OBJ
scure, outside Burglars refuse to put
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

'arkersburg Sentinel.

Parkersburg Sentinel.
special train left over the y. & W.
Monday carrying a home seekers excur-
sion to the State of Washington. There
were forty-four persons in the party
They were from the Hatfield district in
the mountains of West Virginia Twenty
of them were women. OF the entire crowd
only one of them had travelled on a train
before, three had seen a train once before.
and the remainder had not the slightest
idea what train looked like.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

onment. And yet to carry the atmo-
sphere Of romance the personality Of
the writer. must throw the requisite
lights and shadows. Mr.. Post passed
his boyhood in the country he describes
and he has the minutest details at first
hand, and with this he has managed to
get into his story the flavor of old folk
fancies, time-out-of-mind customs OF a
quaint life, and the dreams of the hills.
The book was written while Mr.. Post
was in Europe last summer, in an old
university town of the Province OF
Hesse; perhaps he believed with James
Lane Allen that after absorbing the
material one should go somewhere else
to write the book.
1t might be observed here that Mr..
Posts first book has passed through
seven editions, and is used as parallel
reading by the law classes in Yale. At
this time when the hooks and corners
of the world are being searched for ma
terial for modern novels, it lis no little
distinction to find new and unknown
fields.
The making Of a States literature is
said to be as important as the making
Of the State. West Virginia has had
little enough of what could properly be
called literature. Dwellers in the Hills
is our contribution to American letters.
1t is the INSTALLATION of unique ro-
mantle life to be found only in our in
land country. The magazine announce
ments say: Never was there story
like this" and very well this might be
said, because the civilization repro
duced is to be found only in the great
cattle country of our interior
The book Is issued in two editions,
one very handsome piece Of the book
makers art, bound in halfleather an
tique.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
SILLY CRITICISM OF FUNSTON.

SILLY CRITICISM OF FUNSTON.
Well meaning but impractical news
papers like the New York Evening Post
and some others in New England and
elsewhere become quite silly and alb
surd when they talk about the capture
OF Aguinaldo by Gen. Funston's daring
coup. To hear these editors pirate on
this subject the unthinking reader is
apt to he led into the belief that Funs-
ton has been guilty of penitentiary
offense in employing strategy in the
capture of the Filipino leader. For in
stance, we have DR.. William Everett OF
Boston pathetically exclaiming:
1T is part of the Christians code, de-
rived from the Jewish. that If an enemy
hunger, we are to feed him; the gloss on
WHICH by modern commentators is, II you
hunger, make your enemy feed you, and
then capture him, for by so doing you
shall heap Goals of fire on his head. =
This proceeding of Funston's in accepting
food to save his party from destruction
from the very man he was planning to
capture by deceit is an outrage upon all
hospitality, upon all chivalry, upon all
,tsent behavior between man and man.
maxim that "al is fair in war has
lg since been modified in a score of
IS by nations who are in vain attempt
:, to infuse a leaven of humanity into
That which always was and always will
be inhuman; and there is a meanness and
a cowardice about the proceedings pre-
cisely like firing on flag of truce"
Now, it is strange that the person
most concerned, Aguinaldo himself,
does not utter complaint of the al
legged foul means by which he was cap
tured. Indeed, he frankly acknowl-
edges that Funstons exploit was as
brilliant as it was daring The gallant
young Filipino leader is not whining
about the alleged unfairness of it, and
although he boasts that by strategy
takes it in good part and as a legiti-
mate exploit in war.
True, decoy letters and Filipinos dis
guised as friends of Aguinaldo were
utilized in the capture, but have not
similar means been employed in war
fare ancient and modern and by civiliz-
ed armies everywhere and ever since
civilization began? What is the spy
system but trickery deception and a
species of fraud and treachery? Yet il
is universally used and recognized as
legitimate.
In fact, it does not do to be too fin
icky and squeamish about the means
employed in war, which. at best. in the
language of Gen. Sherman, lis hell"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
THE uUFFALo.

All, chappie, dear and did you hear,
The news that's going round,
The carpet boys have formed lodge.
The best in all the town.
Where er you 90. where'er you talk.
Uptown or down below.
The cry II Rreets you Ia your walk.
Are you a Buffalo7
The cost to join f. very low;
At least that's what hear:
Just eleven cents you have 70 show.
Which is not so very dear
Why the odd cent you're asked 70 pay
No one will ever know.
But that gives you the chance 70 sayi
Are you Buftalo2
And 80 II goes from East 70 West.
IN towns both large and small;
Come Join our lodge. II IL The best
The boys do loudly ba~l
For Ieven cents I'll put you IN,
And then you won't nay no
When you asked with hidden grin.
Are you A Buffalo2
FIFTH FLOOR. Hartford Building
Carpet Trade Review.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

The greatest festival of the Chris
tian church will be celebrated anew to-
day. If Christmas, as the Day of Ma
tivity has become symbolical of the
worlds peace, Easter may be termed
the worlds joy. AS Christmas is the
tide of earthly fellowship, Easter is the
season of immortal hope and the hap
piness of the time signifies the light of
the Spirit making the darkness to van
ish.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
SPRING.
April 3. 1901.

For the Register
Hark the little birds in Spring,
Make the woods with music ring.
All the world for them hath Joy,
And they mock the whisting boy.
How their hearts full Of delight,
WIN e'er make us all feel bright:
How they chirk and twitter low,
Glad to see the winter go.
In the woods they sweetly sing.
Natures music box OF Spring.
Happy frogs, down In the rill,
Canot keep their voices stll.
While the cricket in the field,
Tries its weakly voice TO WELD
Chickens caclle too, and crow,
For It's Spring, they seem TO know.
Now the flowers peek their heads,
From beneath their wintry beds;
They on mother earths warm lap,
Spring from natures winter trap.
Yes, we see their leaves unfold,
When they feel no longer cold.
Brightest garments they put on
Drab or fawn they never don.
Now, the tiny blades OF grass
Spring UP in one bright green mss;
Fields velvet carpet seem:
Natures smiles now brightly beam.
Then the lambs upon the hill
Gamboi. as they often Will,
And all nature longs TO sing.
With the coming of the Spring.
AS the cool, yet warmer air,
Kisses cheeks of maiden fair;
Makes them more sunburned and Drowned
Scatters freckles Oft around.
Air in Springs embrace grows warm,
And less frequent comes the storm.
Gentle April showers, though
Come to bid the flowers grow.
Yet the violet dropped It's head,
And In actions mutely said.
Drop not water In my eyes.
As you empty out the skies
Martha Shepard Lppincott
Moorestowu N J.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
CURRENT POETRY.
EASTER MORN.

EASTER MORN.
For the Register
/ The morning light is breaking Ger
The mountains in the East:
The sun his beams TO scatter round
And give the flowers feast.
The angels stood in silence at
The risen Savior's tomb
As through the lifting shadows came
Three women from the gloom
In silence they approached the grave,
With heads bowed down, and sad.
While angel hosts in glory sang
Around the throne so glad.
That Christ was risen from the grave
And conquered over Death
While STAINS claim on Him had drawn
Its last long teeting breath.
And as they. came. in whispered words
They ask II they alone
Can roll away the nlonstrous door;
The door--a sealed stone.
And why were they afraid?
For 10. the tomb was open wide
On the ground the stone was laid
They gazed at one another. as
With timid steps they tread.
And looking in the sspuchre
Their eyes behold no dead.
But two bright shining angels stood
Beside the Saviors bier,
And said The Lord is risen to-day.
Behold. He is not here.
go tell TO the Disciples.
The things you've seen ana heard,
That they may praise the Savior,
And believe His holy word"
So from the saviors empty tomb.
Those joyful women fled
To tell the story Ger and Ger
That Christ rose from the dead.
The sun burst forth in glory
on the Resurrection morn.
The lily-buds burst open wide,
No longer need they mourn.
The bells rang out I'm mellow tone,
The birds their carols sing.
And all the world in Joy proclaim
The Christ, our risen King.
The blooming flowers with sweet perfume
Greet happy Easter day.
The birds their sweetest carols sing
Their Creator TO repay.
And seemingly all natures praise
Is sent to Him above.
And all the world in accents sweet
Return grateful love.
Archie Moore.
April 3. 1901
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
ocks, 50 eager to promote this

Locks, SO eager to promote this
Scheme?'
1t will be Stock Company, and
for my Services in getting You togeth-
er in this benevolent Combination I
will grab OF two-thirds of the Shares =
replied The Organizer. Il am learning
that the High Guy these days is not the
Producer. The real Patsy is the one
who calls for Jack Pot and then
takes charge of the Kitty You go out
and tell all your Competitors to get
into Line. I need the Stuff"
And another Industrial Alliance was
kept out of the Newspapers.
MORAL: Everything is Velvet to
those who take no Chances.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

Would you please give me - 20
get some bread for ny hungry family?"
said the beggar 10 the man passing
why, & would buy a whole lot Of
bread. my mani"
YES, know Il, and I need whole
lot. sir. You zee, the turkey has 10 be
stuffed, my wife must have bread pud-
din, and three OK the children are all
ways crying for milk toast. sir. "--Yon-
kers Statesman.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
A Mountain Climber

The Chesapeake & Ohio Railway Com
pany has just received a new locomotive
from the Schenectady Locomotive Works.
which is the largest engine in the service
OF the company. 1t is to be used in the
hauling OF heavy passenger trains over
the road west from Gordonsville. The
engine. which will be known as No 81. is
attracting much attention. and looks like
q mountain Of steel. It il provided with
al the latest attachments known to Ioco-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
Thanked Handsomely,

Davis Republican.
S. L. Harmon, who has held the position
of dispenser of liquids in Mrs. Geisburger's
saloon at Thomas for some time, has re-
signed same and accepted a similar posi-
ton with n. P. ]. Verzi at this place.
He has our thanks for 81 for a year SUBJ
scription to the Republican.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
Deserves More Credit

'cob Wig al
People who pride themselves so much
on their ancestry should remember that
the man who starts from nobody and be-
comes somebody deserves much more
credit than he who starts from somebody
and becomes nobody
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
A Moderate Cost.

The expenses of the Grafton electric
light plant for the past year figures out
at 26.07 per light per year, which is a
splendid showing. Municipal ownership
certainly pays in this matter, for the pre-
vious year the total cost was ssSs1 O5
greater or 50. 400
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

Aguinaldo will never know how bad
ly he has been treated until he reads
the comments on Funstons exploit of
some fnicky American editors and
some Of the military bureaucrats at
Washington.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

Now that Anna, Countess de Castel-
lane, is to get the whole of her income
of 100000 a year, Count Boni may be
expected to "go it" on the double
quick.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
A Wish for Each.
Hinton Herald.

Hinton Herald.
The Wetzel Democrat says: Jerome H.
Raymond has gone to Europe. The West
Virginia University remains at Morgan
town. We hope each is permanently To-
Gated
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

Again the joke is on the Anglo-ma-
MACS. The New York courts have de-
cided that the Bradley-Martins must
pay S15,340 personal taxes for 1899 in
spite of their claim of residence abroad
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
REGISTER AGENCIES.

WHERE THE REGISTER CAN BE
CHARLESTON, w. Va.-Hotel Runner
News Stand.
WASHINGTON, D. C. Queen News
Stand. National Hotel
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
Condition Of the Treasury.

WASHINGTON, April s.-To-day's
statement Of the treasury balance In
the general fund exclusive OF the $780,
redemption shows:
Available cash balance, $159, ~, s17f
gold - 20 go. Silver t17,<11.d5.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
FROM WEST VIRGINIA.
Sport in Upshur

Buckhanno Banner.
Already our local sports have been
catching some fine river suckers and
carps.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

is King Edward and his family and
retinue worth S4,280,000 year to
Great Britain as ornaments?
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

The shotgun smallpox quarantine is
on in Kentucky against Tennessee. Let
us hope it will not grow into an inter
State war.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
Good, But
Hinton Herald.

Hinton Herald.
The Fayette Journal has entered upon
the 25th year of it's existence. 1t is a
most excellent newspaper with very bad
| politics.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07
what cave Them rheir taste.

A country customer had bought soma
FISH at a village grocery store. and az
her next visit TO the store she entered
a complaint. They tasted" she said,
exactly Ike English breakfast tea"
I'm not surprised, ma am" replied
the grocer. These fish were caught In
Boston harbor." -Youth's Companion.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

Phillips, the boy terror of the Chi
cago grain pit, still holds the fort.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-04-07

The English war office gives the killed
in battle in South Africa from the out
break of the war to the end of March as:
Officers, $50; men, 1874. In addition II
officers and 1853 men are missing.