The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-04-19
SPINNING WHEEL.
CLEANING HOUSE.

Across a rope the parlor carpet hangs,
And on 1t with a club he feebly bangs;
same,
His arms are. sore, his back is stiff and
lame,
But often comes this cry across the yard:
hard:''
Instead he hits the thing a fercer crack,
AM pounds away with grimness OF de-
spair,
While. still the Just ascends to spoil the air
Again he hears the voice, 'I'n make it do,
But don't imagine that your works com
For there are ten much worse than that to
beat.
And slowly to the parlor 1t is lugged;
And then though back and arms and hands
The wearied man must tack it to the floor.
And oft he growls about his aching back.
And oft he hits his thumb instead Of tack;
But there he tolls until the job is done,
And gets to bed just as the clock strikes
one.
And there's a week or more of such dis
OF anguish that no words can e'er express;
Confusion dire Is reigning everywhere.
And soap and whitewash .odors fill the air.
The meals are late, and often fail to please,
And even when in bed there's little ease,
For not an hour OF comfort can be Cleaned
Until the house has been completely cleaned.
Why wonder, then, that bubbles growl and
When everything is thus turned upside
The wonder is they don't 90 far and fast
Until the time for cleaning house mas
passed.
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Owen F%innegan, a right b~rave-hearted
son of Erin, began life actively as a
deckhand or an Alabama river steam
before the railroad removed most OF its
picturesque and comfortab bic craft from
the inland waters.
Finnegan declared, according to Han
mis- Taylor, that When he was a deck
hand the cook. who was also an Irish
Finnegan, ye BLACKBOARD, come and eat.
And be in a hurry, .ye spalpeen."
,Finnegan would hurry forward to get
his humble dinner.
Finally Finnegan got to be an officer
Oh the boat, and the cooks voice changed
TO: MIR. F%innegan, dinners ready"
In the f~ullness Of time Finnegan be-
came captain. and the COOK $ speech I'M
derwent another change: capt. Finne-
gan, yer honor, will you please take your
tay"
That was the cooks way of acknowl-
edging that F%innegan. had reached the
top of the ladder. And the story that
"Good Hannis' tells bristles with that
worldly wisdom that comes of human
experience.
There was a man in Mobile many
years ago. so the story goes, who had a
notable personal resemblance to Finne-
gan. This man was noted for contract
ing. debts and never paying them, for
thriftless habits generally, and for par
taking Of too much strong drink. A Wis
ltor to Mobile approached this man one
night in Royal street and asked him:
Aren't you Owen Finnegan?
I'll, dunno 1 dunno" answered the poor
everybody else: | reckon I am OWN
%Finnegan, too."-Boston Courier.
An old woman Of undeniable Celtic orr
gin entered a provincial savings bank the
other day and walked up to the desk.
,Do you want to withdraw or deposit? %
asked the clerk.
Nav OF doan't. OF wants to mt some
in was the reply.
The clerk pushed up the book for her
signature, and, indicating the place, said,
Sign on this line, please"
above it or below it,"
Just above it,"
Eyes"
"Bef0re Vi was marrled?"
No, just as it is now"
U can't wroite .'-London King.
The following conversation was over
heard between a joiner and his customer
a short time ago:
Joiner-"Please. sir, I've brought the
table You ordered me to make"
(NTSfnp,nv tsTNr11 ~-4 -
man, and let's see what sort of a ion
you've made of it,"
The man set it down in the middle Of
the room, and the customer examined il
with the air Of a critic.
Customer-"Why, my man, there is
here Il crack filled with putty
Joiner-"Yes sir: we'll, sir, know
about, that. but it won't be noticed when
it sets hard"
Customer Coming across some more
putty)-''But here's some more. my man;
what is the meaning of thisy'
Joiner-"Well, sir. you see, a little bit
OF wood Clipped off the corner, and l
Just put a little, putty there to fill up.
1t won't do nc harm, sir, when it's set
hard"
Customer binding some more putty
patches)-"Look here, my man, this
won't do;why. here's Il big lump right in
the middle of this leg. What can you
Say HDoul tuuC!
Joiner scratching his head and trying
hard to find some excuse by which to re.
trieve his honor)-"Well, sir, that's nc
harm whatever. and the putty when il
sets hard will be tirmer and harder than
the wood, so you see. it will be all the
better If you wait 4 bit, sir"
Customer (sarcastically)-"Here. my
good man. just take this table home. and
bring me one made of putty altogether
| wan a good strong one. and you can
fill up cracks with wood.'-Tit-B Bits.
An unsophisticated young minister (,
rural Pennsylvania, recently ordained
not long ago wrote to a theological pro
fessor in Philadelphia as follows: Il an
a poor speaker, and find it hard to utter
my thoughts clearly and forcibly. l have
decided. therefore, to take a course CT
instruction in speaking, and, learning
from the papers that there are a great
many speak-easies in your city, l would
be obliged if you would recommend me
to one." The professor broke the Jews t
him as euphemistically as possible that i;
.'speak-easy" is merely an unlicensed
drinking place.
They We're newly married and We're
calling upon II of the friends of the