Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1901-06-02
THE G. 0. D. MAN.
He Tells what Happened ON a Farm
In Connecticut.

In Connecticut.
Copyright. 1891. by C. B. Lswis.)
"The farmer and the tramp came to
understand each other years ago." said
the C. O. d. man as he sat on a bench
In the park in the spring sunshine.
That is, the farmer wants to get as
much work out of a tramp as he can
for a meal and lodgings, and the tramp
wants to get out of it as cheaply as he
can. I've sometimes thought the tramp
was ahead of the game. especially
when he had carried off the ak or the
scythe, but the farmer is never far be-
hind. I've run across a thousand in
my p-ereginations. but I struck up
against an old agriculturist last year
in Connecticut who took the cake. L
was pushing on past his house one
day when he came out and called to me
and after looking me over he said:
"TYou don't look like the common
run. II you vas washed. shaved. had a
hair cut and a decent suit on, I'D think
you was a hog buyer. What are you
anyhow
ga diapidated gentleman Will about
hit It. l replied.
Got thrown down like a steer in a
ditch and can't git UP agin, eh?'
That's about it.
UsUyooJ I've hoord - c,,ol -
I kinder pity you. Mebbe you know
sunthin about machinery. That wind.
mill of mine has got out of whack, and
II you kin set her to runnin ag'in I'll
give you two meals and a lodgin- The
lodgin will be on the hay in the barn,
but Ill fix you right up to the chin ON
corn beef and taters.'
Il wasn't in any hurry to get any
where" explained the C. o. ID. man,
and l therefore determined to axe a
day or two Off. I had his windmill go
ing in less than a half a day, and as he
his heads and said:
Say, dilapidated gentleman, there
was so mighty little out of kilter
with that winamn L ought to take off
one meal. Yes, that would be square
and fair. but as my old clock has stood
dead still for a year I'll keep to the two
meals if you fix it,
Il found the clock to be full OF dust
and dirt and carpet rags, but / took it
apart and oiled it up, and soon after
supper it was ticking away in a man
ner to compel the old fellow to say to
his wife:
Just look at that, Hanneri This
dilapidated gentleman has fixed that
old clock as good as any jeweler, and
it hasn't cos us 5 cents. However,
meals and lodgin's has gone. up in Con-
necticut since the panic. and he ought
to be willin to fix the lock on the kiteh-
en- door if he kim
Il expressed my willingness and went
to work, and after puttering with wire
and pinchers for an hour I had the lock
all right. I was then permitted to go
to bed on the hay in the barn, but l
was warned that if Kicked any holes
in the hcrse blankets used as covers
I'd have to work a week for each hole.
1t was barely daylight when the farm
err brought me out a scant cold break
fast and said:
Look here. dilapidate. You seem
to be quite a Teller, and I've kinder TAX
en- a notion to you. Our SEWN machine
is out OF killer. and two of the keys In
the parlor organ won't work. 'Sposin
you fix EN- up and stay to dinner and
supper? We've never let a tramp eat
with us in the world. but you may set
right down to the table with ma and me.
Yes. sir. you may. though I don't want