The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1901-03-31

"MODERN FABLES" by George AIDE.
}fcopyrighted, 1901, by Robert Howard Russell.l !

time he got out OF the Turkish Bath. P-oh-
ably you will be a Sight. especially aroma
the Eyes. Our Relations have been u
Idylhc up TO this Stage of the Proceedirps
that / could not bear 10 see you anrro.c,
these Nuptials in a Trance. As fo- the Re-
ception. / nave no desire 10 be tramr,.s
upon by 2S5 male and female Indians hersed
into a Residence built to accommodate
about nine"
1T is going TO be something Dire said
the Bridegroom with a mournfui shake ~
the Head. However. 1 must see ii 10
Finish"
II suppose you must" said Cupid. "bu,
when the Florist. the Caterer. the fussy Fe-
male Manager and the Detective TO watch
the Presents come fin at the Door Love
flies out at the Window. Cupid cannot on
crate in a Crowd. If my gentle Influence
could Prevail against the Power Of Prece-
dent 1 never would permit you Two 70
stand in front of the Frozen Face and.
promise to Love. Honor and Obey. am
for the Whispered Vow in the Dusky Cor
ner with two Folks sitting in a Chair built
for one. but Nix the Circus Performance.
L do not believe that True Affection should
be hauled out TO Show of before a curious
MOD. Ana Mncn the 1dnS Dt6Allc 10 crowd
I'D TO kiss the Bride that is when Cuni6
wants TO be somewhere else. ] never could
see the Poetry in having a Pink-and-White
bride paved over by a lot Of Uncles and
Aunts. to say nothing of Cousin Charley.
who generally manages to Ring In as a
Practical Joker. II l were you l would
Register a Kick.
I'd like to. but it wouldn't do any good"
said the Bridegroom "Al the imbecilic
Customs must be observed"
Yes. continued Cupid. after you have
tried TO crowd a lot OF Rich Food on a per-
secuted Stomach that looks up and SAYS.
Please Don't then you will start for the
Train. At this Juncture the Rice-Throwing
Comedian and the Wag who ties White
Satin Ribbon on the Trunks will get in
their Cute Work. l suppose you viii be
very Jolly on the Train with every one on
to you bigger than a House. Little Ooch-
ans will wear her Gray Going-Away Gown.
She ought to call it her Gray Give-Away
Gown. Whichever way you turn you will
hear the Stage Whisper behind you. Pipe
the Bridei' You certainly have a Hatful OF
Hilarious Moments ahead of you. / don't
imagine. If Cupid had his Way every
Marriage Service would be enacted In the
still Moonlight. with no $40 Preacher TO
give the Cues and only the Peeping Stars
as Witnesses. The Young Couple would re-
pair at once to a Lodge in some Vast VIII
derness eighty-hve Miles from "A Hotel
Clerk or a Fresh Drummer. But. as 7 am
telling you. Love has no Voice during the
so-called Festivities. When you begin 10
Frost the Cakes and hang Smilax on the
Chandeliers 1 fly the Coop"
but you will return" asked the Groom.
II will wait until you have had your Fill
of running the Gauntlet i'm Strange Hotels
and covering before Head Walters" re-
piled Cupid. You will have TO stay on
your Tour for at least a few Weeks just
TO prove that you can Afford it, When you
come back and assume a Lease and count
up your Presents and begin 10 Swap dupli-
cate Pickle Dishes and Lamps for some
thing you can use in the Kitchen / may
look in on you. If you have managed 10 get
along without having any Spats and are
really anxious 10 keep away from the In
quisitive Public 1 will come around and
scratch on the Door and possibly you Will
permit me TO come in and take charge OF
your real Honeymoon. If I can get the CO.
operation of a good Cook / think 1 may be
able TO show you a choice quality OF Con-
nubial Bliss. But / am off the Contract
until you get through with this Splurge."
And Cupid faded away.
Moral-If il were not for the Presents an
Elopement would be Preferable.