The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1901-07-20
A Real FUNNY story.

Old Tim Linkins, the barber ofWabash Ave-
nue., Chicago, is great student Of proverbial
| philosophy, and he sometimes entertains his
customers, in the interval Of "scrape" or
haircut" by his apt applications of the we'll
known proverbs Of the past to the conditions
or requirements of the present. Hts regular
customers know his strong point, and many a
man who apparently goes in To- shave, is
really in search Of rest in cosy chair, and
has desire to hear "Tim" hold forth pro-
verbally. One day last week stranger came
in for a shave, and as he stretched himself
YEARLY in the chair, Tim prepared to lather
him. The man incidently remarked that he
had intended coming in earlier In the day but
had been prevented. "Well, it's better late
than never" said Tim, smilingly. "Not al
ways" replied the stranger, slowly. Chow
about losing your pocketbook never lost
one until yesterday-never did, but would
sooner have kept 1t. Now, why was it better
for me to lose 1t late than not at all2" Tim
acknowledged that he was wrong and the man
continued: Don't know what I would have
done in my predieament, only an old aequain-
lance Of mine on the Lake front let me have
twenty to 60 on with" "Ah," Clipped In
Tim, that was good A friend in need is a
friend indeed" "No, he isn't" snapped the
iAeih WIZ HoH b1dYoO. you
dead wrong again. how can friend in need
be friend indoed2 have a good many friends
who are always in need and they are a nuisance
to me.Always OH the borrow. Tim thought the
problem over in bis mind and reluctantly adj
mitted that the man was right. He had al.
most made up his mind not to speak again
when the stranger continued, eyes SIR, they
are nuisances. Why, one of them fellows has
been calling on me for the past year and
threatens to get even with me some way if I
do not loan him fifty dollars. He threatens
me at every visit" "Oh, wouldn't mind
that" replied Tim uncopsciously, "yeu know
the old adage "A barking dog never bite3.'"
There you are again" said the "shavee " a.
he wiped little lather from the corner of
bis mouth. "Say, what do you know about
dogs, anyway, that you talk in such silly
strain Have you ever yentured to go too
close to barking dog,-and If you did, what
no ne 90 to you Did you ever know o bark
ing dog that didn't bite If he got the chance2"
Tim said he couldn't exactly call to mind any
canine acquaintance that strictly fulfilled the
claim in the proVerb, and there was silence
for few minutes while his razor was gliding
over the mans face. Then the barber smiled |
to himself as he bethought him of q good Joke.
II suppose" he said, as he applied the BAY
rum, Il suppose you don't believe in the bar |
bers' proverb at all?" whats that ?" asked |
the stranger, rising. 1.-TWO heads are better
than one," answered Tim. "Of course YOU
can understand why they are, in my business,
but know you would like to say they would
be bad for man with the headache or"
Nothing Of the kind, put in the other, smil.
ng. Zone of your proverbs, at least, is right,
| happen to know that two heads are better
han one." 'Then you don't object to that
DID adage 2" "Not at all. 1t is dead right.
And would thank you very much if you have
my stray Lion heads at hand-those taken
rom the Lion Coffee wrappers. My wife is
collecting them and abe is about six ahy of
he number required to get Ladys Gold
Watch. You see in this case "two heads are
'etter than one, and twenty are better than
en-" Gust so" added Tim, cheerfully. ssbut
'ou see, my wife is doing the same thing, and
xpects premium in few weeks. So to her
iso, two heads are better than one. ""Wel
I! that case" said the stranger, as he paid
Inn for the shave and prepared to depart.
you had better tell your wife to do the same
mine is doing. Save up the Lion heads
NTH after September LIST next, whom the new
'remlum List is issued. Then II she sends
hem to the Woolson Spice Co., Toledo, Ohio
ne can have her pick of some very choice
resents." 'I