The suburban citizen., 1901-01-19

| M ly ntty years OF age, WIZ
over, and the editor of
newspaper which had made
IT'S mark in The city, when he mar
lied his second wife.
Mr.. Editor Pod was n man of vim.
He was fussy. His opinions in re.
gard to the counry's affairs and to
matters of policy, and to the financial
question, and to all public happenings
and to the existing crisis, as well as
to events Of local concern, were fixed
and positive. So also were his opin.
Ions as to things OF a literary, dramat-
lc artistic and religious character. SO
also as TO baseball, the horse races,
pugilism, and other sports. So also as
to the everlasting European muddle.
These opinions had been formed in
his early manhood; and after he had
started his paper, about the time he
touched the age Of thirty, he was free
70 put them out and shake them in the
worlds face.
He did not think much of poetry;
he despised novels; lie fouted funny
writer's; and he believed that most
people were fools. He looked upon the
men Of the political party to which he
was opposed as a pack of rascals, who
were constantly seeking to upset the
country
AS might have been expected most
Of the readers cf his paper agreed
with him. and several of them sent
letters to him, the printing of which
gave him pleasure, in which he was
declared to be an oracle, a man Of
weight, patriot and Al electric light
Editor Pods paper fourished, and
he was proud of its influence" To his
writers he gave orders concerning their
treatment of the topics which he as
signed to them; and no one OF the lot
ever thought of utterlng a word which
could possibly fail to receive his ap-
provul.
If any outsider ever dared to con-
tradict him, or expressed an opinion
different from that Of the paper or
suggested thai Editor Pods wisdom
sometimes fell short Of Solomon's. the
steel pen was applied to the fronts.
piece of that outsider until he squeaed.
As the years rolled on Editor Pod
became more and more intolerant Of
any opinion that was other than his
OVID, and ever more contemptuous Of
such blockheads as had the impuderce
to say that they disagreed with him.
The politician curried favor with
Editor Pod; the play-actor sent him
tickets; the author took him ont to
lunch; the preacher tried to win his
SMILE the artist invited him to a priv
ate view Of the new picture; the real
estate agent told him Of the choice
lots in the market; the orator offered
him an advance copy of his next
speechi the sportsman sent a carriage
for him; the stock broker whispered q
word in his ear; the millionaire raised
his hat to him, happy to see him; the
doctor dOsed his children at hall price;
the frightened hobo crossed the street
when he hove in sight; the lawyer OK
planned a clients case to him; and the
inventor Of a flying machine told him
that the learned editor knew more
than Mongolfer or Professor Lang
ley about aerOuautiCs.
Editor Pods hump Of self.concelt
grew to such proportions that the 9TH
er bumps upon his bald head almost
sank out of sight.
While yet under fifty years Of age,
Editor Pod was bereaved of the wife
to whom he had been married since
he was thirty. He had always lived
on fair terms with her in n spirit Of
forbearance. She was a woman Of
very plain mind meek in her disposl.
tiOn, domestic In her habits and good
mother to her babes. Happily for her,
as Editor Pods Wife, she indulged in
no Views of her own. She had no
opinions ut all upon any CT the stupen.
dous public questions or intricate mat.
ters with which her husbands intellect
was constantly occupied. She was
mystifled when he dilated upon pollti.
cal affairs, or rallied against the ras.
cally leaders Of the other side. She
cared not a Zip for Congress, or legis.
foreign squabble, or the dramatic arr,
or the Governments finances, or the
latest novel Of horrors, or the boat
race, or the gossip Of fashionable so.
ciety or African exploration, or even
the popularizatlon Of science for the
benefit Of the benighted masses. She
always sided with her husband, as
soon MS she knew what side he took
She drew her intelligence from his
knowlcdge-boX, and her ideas from his
brain-pan. She desplsed his adver
sarles. She would hardly speak to tho
Wife Of any man who did not agree
with Mr.. Pod. She thought ~ knew
more than d. Depew, who h. some
times censured, and was wiser thar
the Rev. Dr. Talmage, whose rhe,ori
cal blunders he often pointed out
Among the merits which she pos
sessed, and which he appreciated, was