Evening star., 1901-08-10
CONTRARY TO PRECEDENT


"Tm a loose maverick that's never been
branded" roared Pisen Bill, dancing
around the platform Of the station at Holy
Smoke Gulch just as the eastern train came
in 'I eat cobras while they're still a
wrtgglin'I can lick alligator under wa
ter an skin him ithout ever comm t tn
top fr breath! Whee, wow-ee! but I sure
am bad!' and Pisen Bill let out series OF
whoops that echoed from the surrounding
hills and made the station seem like a
leaping biIlow Of sound.
Pisen Bill was still exuding mighty
blasts and jumping around and telling how
bad he was, when an understood pale-hair-
ed, pink-cheeked young man. with stopped
shoulders, spectacles, and the general air
Of Massachusetts, student walked up TO
him and gave him a poke in the ribs with
his thumb.
bad. eh?" said the misunderstanding
young man with the specs to the amazed
Pisen Bill, who loomed about two feet over
him, and looked down upon him from that
great height as if he belonged to the squir-
rel species. Say, you're not bad. You just
think you're bad?''
"Huh?' said Pisen Bill. gasping for
breath. whats that you say sonny?"
Il say" replied the tenderfoot, pulling
out a nice fresh pocket handkerchief and
wiping the dust out of his eyes with 1t,
that you're not even a little bit bad. You
just imagine all that. That's a bug you've
got-that you're bad. l know lots of bad
der people than you are who live in brown
stone fronts right on Beacon street in Ros-
ton. I've often wanted to stack up against
person of your sort, that thinks he's
about the baddest ever, SOS 1 could tell
him that he's letting his fancy run away
with his perception Of the facts. You"
Look a-here, Bud put in Pisen Bill,
still so astonished that he could barely
frame his words, who are you, anyhow"
Who me?" said the tenderfoot with the
specs, gaining confidence and again poking
Pisen Bill in the ribs with his thumb.
why, I'm just tourist on this train that's
pulled in here for a minute or two, and I
heard your declarations about your bad
ness, and l just thought I'd drop off to call
you You won't do for a minute with me
when 1t comes to that bad question. / don't
believe you ever saw a cobra in your life,
and as to your being an unbranded maver-
lex, forget 1t. You wouldn't know a inaver-
ick from a mongoose if you saw one. You
pain me, and for two cents I'd hand you
Jolt on the jaw that 'ud drive you to a
painless dentist on the lope. How's that?"
Pisen Bill drew back for second or so.
and he looked stunned that
But hold on right here.
If the veracious writer Of this strictly
veracious narrative were disposed to follow.
in the footsteps of the young persons who
execute screechingly funny stories for the
colored weekly press, he'd go on and de-
scribe how the tenderfOot from Boston
suddenly shot out his right and caught the
counterfeit Pisen Bill square in the stom-
ach. and how, when Pisen Bill involuntari-
ly bent forward, feeling Of the place where
he had been hit, the tenderfoot followed the
rap up with a swift left-hand jab on the
point of the chin, which would cause the
great hulking bad man to go to the plat
form, whereupon the tenderfoot would pass
him couple Of swift kicks, remove his
guns from his cartridge belt kiss his hand
datntily to the fallen giant and swing upon
the train as it moved out Of the station:
Whereupon all hands in the station and on
the train would comment upon the occa-
sional way Of the real smart tenderfoot In
handling the bad man.
However. the writer hereof isn't follow
ing In the footsteps of the young persons
who perform screamingly humorous stunts
for the vari-hued comic weeklies He
doesn't have to- for he clings with con-
scientiousness that Is almost despairing to
the domain of fact.
Such being the case
Pisen Bill drew back for a second or so,
and he looked so stunned that the tender
foot was inspired to hand him another
cute poke in the ribs with his thumb.
Right at this point, and with a great
laugh that echoed hollowly and anon re-
verberated sonorously among the eternal
hills, Pisen Bill reached down, took the be-
spectacled tenderfoot from the Back Bay
district by the scruff of the neck, sat down
on baggage truck, placed the tenderfOot
across his vast buckskin-clad knee. ard
then for exactly eight minutes by the sta
tion clock he sounded the devils tattoo on
the frame of that rash tenderfoot IN
manner that beat all of the childhood recol-
lections Of the latter bearing upon hair
brushes and carpet slippers In q common
canter. All Of the hangers-on around the
station and the passengers stretching their
legs from the train enjoyed the spectacle
beyond words. and Pisen Bill. from the
sound OF his Gargantuan laughter, enjoy
ed it more than any of them. He finally
brought the shouting tenderfoot to stand
ing position, gave him a couple Of good-na-
tured slaps on the wrist just for luck. and
then booted him on board the train. re-
marking that the next time he passed that
way and heard him (Pisen BID announc-
Ing himself as bad or the worst ever It
'ud be up to him to believe it or to go to
the knee for another padding. This closed
the incident, for the train Immediately
pulled out with the chagrined tenderfoot
When we have SO few illusions left to
us. it is revolving for fact. to have to
shatter even a little one like this, but we
are whole lot Of a Gadgrind ourselves.
and when that immortal remarked that
facts were facts he had his little book
about pat.