The Iola register., 1901-08-30

and very nearly went to in new
home.
The temperature has been modified
sufficiently at Salina to warrant the |
opening of the the summer theological |
school
Exchanges report that Kansas
man has invented an ice pick with
which one can chip off four pieces of
ice without getting three of them up
his sleeve.
A little Emporia girl apologies for
her pet dogs not sitting up and beg
ging by stating that he is too well
bred to beg.
Highland has a William Allen who
is white and wonders why Emporia
should feel stuck up over her citizen
of that name.
Two Johnson county boys netted
81, 800 from % acres planted to pota-
toes this year. 'Tis a sweet tale but
the spuds were Irish.
In the opinion of the Hutchinson
News no higher compliment can be
paid a man this year than to refer to
him as small potatoes"
Those soulless things the Kansas
railroads have raised the freight on
hay to keep it in Kansas and lowered
the rate on corn so it may be shipped
in.
The Indians near Horton had a
dance when it rained and the prevail
ing costume, according to the Record,
was "a shirt, pair of socks and
whoop."
The news leaks out via Parsons that
Pittsburg man sold his wife to an.
other man for s.. She refused to be
sold and pretty fight and row en-
sued.
1t is a foregone conclusion that if
the Democrats do make resabmission
their campaign text Ft. Scott can have
the State convention without fighting
for il.
Since that Marshall girl, Miss De-
Forrest. got word that she is heiress
to eight millions in New York. pro-
posals will doubtless pour in like the
leaves in de forest.
Since Ewing Herbert knocked on
Kansas John Wood, of Lawton, has
been sleeping like a babe and smiling
in his sleep. All of the Kansas press
is focused on Herbert.
Warren Lewis. an old resident of
Garnett, while there on a visit. filled
up on liquor and stumbled into an old
we'll behind business house and was
found dead several days later.
'Tis said this is the age of young
men, the age young men do things.
And visitors at the Kansas peniten-
tiary are always struck by the youth
fulness of most of the inmates.
John Fox died at Woodbine while a
friend had gone for a license for him
to wed Miss Trager. his sweetheart.
They decided to omarry when the doctor
gave up hope, but it was too late.
Hutchinson claims to have water
enough "for second flood" And if
old Noah happened intown these days
he could pretty nearly stock his old
ark there without robbing any mena-
geries.
A Seneca banker has installed an
automobile in his stables And the
Tribune man says two English spar
rows watched it go by and then one
said to the other, sadly: "Well, | see
our finish"
Chod Thomas, a Winfield jointist,
stood off two officers with shot gun
who came with a warrant to sieze %
cases of beer in his barn. During the
wrangle Thomas's friends hauled the
beer away.
"If Maud Muller had been raking
hay in Kansas this year." say the
Wichita Eagle, land really owned the
hay there would be a whole flock ot
judges hanging over the fence making
love TO her."
The Newton band finds it impossi-
BILE to play II Don't Know Why
Love You. But | Do-o-o," because the
players Ill try to make goo-goo eyes
at some girl in the crowd when that
tune is started
The "cellar party" has been sue
ceeded by the "wading party" Miss
Jones invites her friends to Join her il
a wading party, and frequently tn,
Kansas lobster, the crawdad, is pres
ent, not on the bill of fare but on tn,
toes of the fair.
The Topeka Herald says there is
faucet in that town that gives dow
ordinary city water to the ordinarl
suppliant. But the wise guy draw
beer from that -self-same font Chic
of Police Stahl drank water from tn
faucet recently and never suspected
the secret.
The Cotfeyville Journal tells of
Missouri Pacific engineer who wa
dragged on the carpet for running hi
engine too fast. "What, run that oil
scrap iron twenty-five miles an hour
Why if you'd take it 1000 miles int,
the air and let it fall it couldn't max
: twenty-five miles an hour" He wa
J turned loose.
, An Independence man thought h
smelled natural gas leaking about tn
house, crawled beneath it, lit mate
and as he Strengthened up amid tn
} descending splinters of his home, re
marked to his wife: 81 told you so.
AS she came down on the next sectio
. she did not reply.
Mrs. Nation says the reason sh
has not secured a divorce long ap