The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1901-04-26

TTom OCedH u OCedu JHey re
the name of one Funston,
And are pointing with pride's fingers
to what this Kansas sons done;
How DER the wide, rolling seas, full
half suns run.
He captured wild Aguinaldo without
bit of guns fun.
He has been hailed from Washington
with the We'll done. son."
He is coming back to Kansas now as
all the fun's done,
To ride popularity's fame which they
say his guns won.
SO now, what are we going to do with
General Funston?
Shall we buy him a home where the
warm south suns run,
Or Puritanic mansion grand near old
Bull Runs gun,
Or a Kansas farm, with acres wide
where cyclone and Carrie runs fun,
Or shall we raise purse and buy
stocks for the family Funston?
Well do nothing of the kind, for what
he's done's done.
And what's the use to go wild, for
surely he duns none,
For anything more than the pay his
little guns won!
This rhyming business has been the
undoing of many, many people who
might otherwise have been useful cit
izens. The Maryland mans friends are
still in doubt as to whether 1t will be
necessary to put him in retreat or
not.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Honorable George Wantsitagain
Wilhelm has usually had his way
pretty thoroughly, but it seems now
that they have framed up for him
very warm proposition. Note the
finesse with which they attack!
Brother Brown will run in Stark, and
get all the votes he can. Brother Sala
will run in Carroll and get all the votes
in the Prohibition townships. He will
not run in Stark at all, for fear of di.
viding the Brown vote. The Honor
able Wantedtobejudge Blythe will
next present himself in Carroll, and
get all the Carroll county votes that
Sala cannot muster-so they say.
That gives the opposition Carroll and
makes the campaign in Stark county
a direct issue between the anti-saloon
forces and the friends of the liquor
traffic. In the country districts-in
townships that have gone dry--it is the
intention to give Wilhelm trouble.
There are enough delegates from dry
townships to lose Wilhelm the nomina-
ton. The whole plan is to so divide the
vote that Wilhelm cannot be nominated
on the first ballot, when combination
will be effected and it is hoped to hand
him the same package that was once
handed to the Honorable John Thomas,
who lacked only one-fourth of vote
of the nomination, but who was yet as
far away as if he had lacked forty. 1t
is a clever scheme, and it was not con-
cocted in the head of the mild-man-
nered, entirely correct Mr.. Sala. nor
was it's birthplace within the Uranium
of Preacher Brown, unless he is more
practically worldly than his mien and
cloth would indicate. And that is what
makes Mr.. Wilhelm's friends trifie
anxious. They know that the Honor
able Henry w. Harter would not be
il Carroll county were to
get some sop, in lieu of the judgeship,
and they know that the Honorable A.
M. McCarty, boom custodian and
chairman of the. steering committee,
is an astute politician-just such
citizen as would be likely to think of
some of the schemes that are being SO
worked to confuse the states
man from Justus. 1t will be pretty
fight.
Oscar Zimmerman fame derides,
And now definitely decides,
That for auditor he will not make the
race.
His bosom he had barred,
He was not the least bit scared
And had calculated he would set the
pace.
But when he looked it over
1t didn't seem all clover,
And he thought his declination was
tiC tuihSs
He could neither buy nor SELL
lie knew politics was-Awell,
He didn't want to buck against the
ring.
His withdrawal at the pole
Has left us in hole.
Our muse is getting rather short Of
food.
We've sung the school board quorum,
Sung the councilmanic forum,
And we've done some other stunts
equally crude.
We've sprung some verse on spring,
OF the snow we've had our sing,
We've poetized on choO-chOo and on
hOSs-car.
So we're sorely disappointed
Our plans are all unjointed-
We had some pleasant things in
store for Oscar