davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Both Were surprt.ed.

The third time 1 changed cars at the
Hornellsville Union railroad station
and lunched at the little grillroom just
up the street the jolly little proprietor
recognized me as a regular patron and
did his best to entertain me while my
special pot of coffee was coming to q
boil.
Notice that fellow who just went
out?" he asked, chuckling contentedly
to himself.
1 hadn't noticed particularly, but
knew it would be disconcerting to ad-
NIT, so I nodded encouragingly, says q
writer in the New York Herald.
''Well," he continued, that's Jim
Smith - Long Jim Smith they call
him-conductor of the Erie, and, say,
he's laying for me. Greatest practical
joker you ever saw. Always getting
rigs on me, and never could get back
on him until last week, and then was
about as much surprised as he was.
81 was coming down the street and
saw q crowd gathered around some Sal
walton Army singers. Long Jim was
away on the edge of the crowd, stand
ing on his tiptoes so he could see over
the heads of the rest. He had his
back to me, and, sticking out from IN
der his arm, was big bag Of lemons
1 saw my chance, and 1 sneaked quiet
ly behind him, hauled off and gave
that bag of lemons an awful swipe
with my caneS"
Here the little man went off into an
uncomfortable fit of laughter over the
remembrance.
He laughed till his sides shook and
tears ran down his face. waited till
he had quieted down.
"WellT 1 Queried. Scattered the
lemons all about, suppose"
Scattered! Ho, no, no! He! Hi
hi, hill He! Hum! Well, should say
so. But they wasn't lemons; they was
aggs."
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Throwing the Shoe.

The peasants of southern France have
the credit of originating the familiar Gus
tom of throwing an old shoe after the
newly welded pair. 1t was, moreover.
the rejected sutton who first made it pop
ular. The peasant bride is conducted by
her friends to her new home, while the
young husband is made to halt at a cou-
pie of hundred yards from the house. II
there is rejected sutton, he then arms
himself with an old wooden shoe and
filings It, with his best aim, at the bride
groom as he makes q dash for the house.
When the shoe is thrown, it is understood
that the last feeling of i'll will has been
flung away with it.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

All the poetry Of war Is disappearing
before the stern logic Of facts. Where
armies once advanced in compact col
umns, shoulder to shoulder, they now
fight in broken ranks, more after the
fashion of skirmishers. The snowy uni
form has gradually given way to the
rough campaign garb. The sword, or
namental but useless, the distinguish
ing badge of the officer, is about to be
superseded in the British army by the
deadly rifle. Clad in dust-colored
khaki, officers and privates will then
present no distinguishing marks to the
enemy. Show will be sacrificed to the
necessities of the service and every man
will become an active part OF the fight
ing machine.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
He Tbouebt It Was Coming.

1t happened that he had never been
on board boat, but he had an aching
longing to ride the bounding pillows.
He sailed on board a whaler, and was
leaning over the stern rail, making a
minute examination of the Atlantic
Ocean, when the captain shouted:
"Heave up that anchor"
The landlubber just then saw some
thing interesting in the depths.
"Hey, there! Are you going to heave
up that anchor?" angrily demanded the
captain.
81 think am, SIR" replied the new
one, clutching his vest convulsively; Il
think it's comm up now, sir."-Denver
Times
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Kaiser Buys Our Ship Timber.

Probably no place on earth will aver
age acre per acre the timber that the
Puget Sound region can furnish. 1t is
fir, cedar, spruce, hemlock and alder,
as we'll as maple and other woods. Its
Douglas fir-the most common variety
has been found superior to yellow
pine and other woods heretofore used
for car-building. 1t is now claimed that
Government tests show that it is bet
ter for shipbuilding, having greater
horizontal strength than oak or Georgia
pine, and superior lasting qualities.
One big firm is now making heavy ship
ments of this fir to Germany for use
navy.-World's Work.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
AA9lIH||I!S>I r. =
Lift ifi e

magic and Religion" Andrew Lang's
latest book, is volume of essays on
subjects already familiar to those who
follow Mr.. Lang's writings.
1t seems that Charlotte BrOnte as
well as George Eliot is to be the OBJ
ject Of a revival" Of popular Interest.
A new edition Of Jane Eyre" has been
brought out in Egland.
A final volume of Byron's letters Is
to be published This will be interest
ing for the new matter which the ed
itor has lately discovered relating to
Byron's career as an enthusiast Tor
Greek liberty. He spent large sums
in maintaining troop of 200 men for
Greece, and these were among the very
few soldiers who were remunerated for
their services. The period dealt with
IN this volume of letters extends from
1922 to 1924.
The first book of verse sent out by
Robert Buchanan was not Under
tones" but Poems and Lyrics" a thin
volume published before the author
came to London. The book was dedi-
Gated to Hugh Macdonald, who forty
years ago was a well-known writer of
local sketches in the Glasgow Citizen.
In a predatory note which is humble
and apologize in tone Mr.. Buchanan
states that the most mature of the
poems, with the exception of three SON
nets, were penned before he had at
tanned his 10th year.
Sir Walter Besant at the time of his
death left three unpublished novels
One 1.-The Lady Of Lynn" is a story
somewhat on the lines Of 1.-THE Orange
Girl" Of the time of the 18th century
Another is believed to be quite com
plete. This, too, deals with 18th cen
fury life. The third, it Is believed, is
probably unfinished. 1t is hoped thai
Sir Walter Besan may have left the
bulk of the material for a book OIL
North London. Previous to the dealt
of Robert Buchanan, that authors pub
fishers had arranged for a complete
edition of his poems in one volume.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
$1,000 REWARD
For Evidences of Fraud in Iesti-
mOniaIs Advertising DR.. Will
iams' Pink Pills for
Pale People

1t is sometimes thought that some
concerns, in order to make people be-
Iieve that the article in which they
deal is a good one, manufacture them
selves the testimonials which they us
in their advertisements. The DR.. VII
liams' Medicine Co., manufacturers
DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pal
People, however, have always held tina.
the publication of a fictitious or even
misleading testimonial is not only
bad morally, but is bad advertising
Consequently the greatest care has al
ways been taken in selecting testl-
monials for their advertising. Every
case is not only carefully investigated
but in most instances it is sworn to in
legal form that the affidavit placei
on file. That no doubt may be in the
minds of the public, the company Of
fers one thousand dollars $4,000 for
evidence of fraud, on its part, in the
publication of any of the testimonials
used in making known the merits OF
DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale
People. In view of this, the following
remarkable case, published in the
Democrat and Sentinel, Lewiston, Pa,
is given without further comment
Mr.. Frank A. Means, well-known
farmed of Reedsville, Miffiin county,
Pa, writes:
81 had the grip and as a result my
nerves broke down. / lost the entire
use of the lower half of my body For
whole year l lay in bed perfectly
helpless with no power in either limb
and the feeling gone so that l couldn't
feel pin run into my legs at all.
couldn't turn over in bed without
help. Six doctors gave me up and said
it was only a question of few weeks
with me as nothing more could be
done. Then a friend sent me a
pamphlet containing statements of two
men who had been afflicted something
like me and who had been cured by
the use of Dr. Williams Pink Pills. /
began taking them at once and al
though my improvement was slow IL
was certain Now l can walk most or
the time without a cane and every
body around here thinks it is a
miracle that I can get about as l do
Your pills have certainly been a God
send to me-
Signed. F. A. MEANS
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 18th day of April, 1901.
ALBERT S. GIBBONEY.
Notary Public.
At all druggists, or direct from DR..
Williams Medicine Company, Science
tady, N. Y, fifty cents per box; six
boxes for two dollars and fifty cents.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
CONSOLATION AND COMFORT.

Who is it that does not wish to be
out in the open air or alive in some
field of sport, whether it be with the
bat, rod, or gun; whether we go
coasting over the hills and wales on
the wheel, or sailing over rough waves
or into serene coves, it is all sport,
and the springing muscles seem to
need it. 1t is bound to happen that
some mishap will occur. Thus it is
that we have sprains in abundance;
light sprains. sprains that cripple,
sprains that give great pain, sprains
that rob us of sleep, but sportsmen
of all kinds have come to know that
there is nothing better than the old
reliable st. Jacobs Oil. Have it with
you for use; you may rely on its cure
of the worst sprain and restoration
to the comforts of life.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
FAKE HAIR PREPARATIONS.
Do Hair No Good, But often Cause II
to Fall Out,

Many hair preparations are fake"
because they are merely scalp irri-
tants, They often cause a dryness,
making the hair brittle, and, finally,
lifeless. Dandruff is The cause of all
the trouble with hair. 1t is germ
disease. The germ makes cuticle
scales as it digs to the root of the
hair, where it destroys The hairs vi
tality, causing the hair to fall out. To
cure dandruff, the germ must be killed.
Destroy the cause, you remove the
effect" Newbro's Herpicide is the
only hair preparation that kills the
dandruff germ, thereby leaving the
hair to grow luxuriantly.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Primitive WAYS i'm Mexico.

Some of the solid, conservative old
business houses in the City of Mexico
cling to eighteenth century ways as
obstinately as do few such establish
ments in London. Several of them are
still using tallow dips. A bookkeeper
may be seen making his entries in a
great ledger with the light of single
candle, and the wealthy proprietor may
be found bending over his big mahog-
any desk fianked by two tall aud state
ly candelabra.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

The principle on which the 1900
farms in the newly opened reservations
in Oklahoma have been disposed of is
essentially the principle of a lottery. 1t
was distribution Of 1900 prizes by
lot among 10000 applicants" each OF
whom incurred material, though who'll
ly disproportionate, expense in getting
registered. There were many losers
who did not have money to get home
with. The winners. too. must pay
SIPS per acre, and must reside upon
the land for a period. These conditions,
however, are of minor import in COM
parison with the value even Of the late
choices, while the first choices are in
the nature of grand prizes" One nat
urally takes pleasure in the good for
tune Of the telephone girl, earning So
a week in Wichita, Kan, who drew
the second choice, worth from $4,000
to $4,000. But, says the Chicago Trib-
une, her "luck" will scarcely make the
girl next her more contented or self
reliant. Nor can the cheers Of the
crowd over the fortunate ones disguise
the fact that the value of this choice,
as we'll as that Of the first choice, won
by young Oklahoma man, and that of
the other grand prizes," and, indeed,
that Of all the 1900 choices, really
belonged to all the wage-earners and
other people. young and old, of the
whole country, and would aggregate
millions enough to stretch a hundred
or two miles of good roads or to endow
extensive educational advances in ey-
cry State and territory of the Union
Since this land actually belonged to the
nation, it should have been sold by the
nation for the benefit of the nation
Congress, yielding to the clamor Of PEG.
pie in adjacent regions for perpetual
ton of traditions in the land office
which are no longer appropriate, pre-
cluded such a disposition, and thus
made the government the manager OF
| probably the most stupendous rattle
ever witnessed. The plan Is better
than that of a literal rush" for loca
lions, but the policy Of disposing Of the
public domain by wheel of chance
Is one to which the government should
never again be forced. The response
bility for this case lies with Congress
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
The FinIanders.

No northern people are harder or
more spirited than the Finlanders.
with their clear compilations and dark
blue eyes. In spite of their harsh eli
mate they have the most healthful liv-
ing of perhaps any of the northern
races and keep equal degrees of ro-
nance, daring and good feeling in their
natures. You do not find Imagination,
force and adventure in a race without
coarse, plenteous fare, pure air and
cleanliness.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Convincing His Chnm.

Johnny tin the gardenJ- Father. father.
Ook out of the window.
Father quitting out his head)-What q
nuisance you children are! What do you
want now?
Johnny with triumphant glance at
his playfrllowl-Tommy Brooks wouldn't
believe you'd got no hair ON the top of
l1ur head Tit Bits.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
CQtQrrh
Hoods TQrsdpdriUO
Can't Bent EN-.

As usual he was monopoizing the news
paper
please let lie hare the wUinan's page"
she said.
He carefully tore off page and hand
ed it to her.
1t was a full page advertisement of q
millinery opening, and he chuckled at his
own little joke.
Still, she was revenGed. She went to
the opening, and he paid the bill.-Chi-
Cago Post
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

The State of Delaware long ago de-
vised the right kind of punishment for
the wife beaten. The whipping post is
the only contrivance that in any way
measures up to the demands of the
crime. If the fifty enraged neighbors
who recently tarred a wife beater near
Chicago had tied him to post, stripped
him bare to the waist and given him
fifty lashes there is a possibility that
the offense would not be repeated.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
STATE OF OHIO. CITY OF TOLEDO. ,

Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he
is the senior partner of the firm of
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., doing business
in the city of Toledo, County and
State aforesaid, and that said firm will
pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED
for each and every case Of
Catarrh that cannot be cured by the
use of HALLS CATARRH CURE.
FRANK ]. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed
in my presence, this 9Th day of De-
cember,. A. D. 1886.
(seal1 A. w. GLEASON,
Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken intern
ally and acts directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. Send
for testimonials, free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Don't you know there are sermons
in stones and good in everything"
81 dunno bout dere bein' sermons
in stones" answered Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley, but if a man is out O. razor
reach an kin th'ow straight, some
times dar is heap O. persuasion in
'em. Washington Star.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Brooklyn, N. Y, Sept. 6.-The Gar
field Tea Co., manufacturers of Gar
field Tea, Garfield Headache Powders,
Garfield-Tea Syrup, Garfield Relief
Plasters, Garfield Digestive Tablets
and Garfield Lotion, are now occupy
ing the large and elegant office build
ing and laboratory recently erected by
them. For many years the Garfield
Remedies have been growing in popu-
larity and their success is well de-
served.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
GENERAL WILLIAM BOOTH.

Founder and Head of the Salvation
Army of the World.
General William Booth, founder and
head Of the Salvation army, is now in
his 73d year, but is said to be as vigor-
Gus and active as he was twenty years
ago. Until 1878 Mr.. Booth was a min
lister Of the New Connection Church.
In 1865 he founded the little mission
in the east end of London, which in
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Mrs. Crawford-So you haven't found
the course of lectures on cooking you
attended to be of much practical use?
Mrs. Crabshaw-No. my dear. They
either told YOU how to prepare terrapin
and canvasback or else how to live on
j. cents Il day.-Life.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

1878 took the form and substance of
the present day Salvation army. This
is General Booths fourth visit to the
United States. In the course of his
duties as commander-in-chief of the
army, he has travelled through this
county, India, Africa and over a large
part of Europe.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

81 wish you and May would become
friend again., sad ,-e would-be peace
maker.
Well" said Fay, "if she'll make up,
I will
Il told her you had said that, and
she said: The ideal It's easy for
her. 1 never saw her when she wasn't
made up."-PA4adelphia Lodged.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Government Profit on Pennies.

The profit of the Government on coin
ing copper is considerable. Cent coins
consist of 8 per cent of tin and zinc and
90 per cent Of copper. They cost the
Government about AZ cents a pound
and there are 14S in a pound, so that
the treasury makes just $1.06 on each
pound coined.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

For pimples, sallow complexion, i'm
pure blood and poor digestion, use
Adams Sarsaparilla Pills. They i'm
prove complexion and cure constipa-
ton. 10 cents. 25 cents. Druggists.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Our public is gradually but surely
awakening to realization of the fact
that collisions between electric cars
may bring lamentable consequences in
their train, and should be guarded
against quite as carefully as they are
on the "steam lines"
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Old Bender: There's only one thing
in this world that 1 want and can't
get, and ats time, sir-time.
Charlie Hardup: Why, 1 had no
idea your creditors were pushing you
so hard.-Town and Country.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Now that New York magistrate has
ruled that a woman has no right to go
through her husbands pockets we may
resume our old habit Of carrying lit
tie loose change.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Sick Women
MRS. Valentine Tells HOW
Lydia (. Pis7E1ElaE11's Negefa-
Die Compound Cured Her.

Happiness will go out of your life
forever, my sister, if you have any
of the symptoms mentioned in Mrs.
Valentines letter, unless you act
promptly. Procure Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound at once.
1t is absolutely sure to help you. Then
write for advice if there is anything
about your case you do not under
stand.
You need not be afraid to tell the
things you could not explain to the
doctor-your letter will be seen only by
women. All the persons who see priv
ate letters at Mrs. Pinkham's Labora-
tory, at Lynn. Mass, are women. All
letters are confidential and advice abso-
lutely free.
Here is the letter: -" 1t is with
pleasure that 1 add my testimony to
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Men are good deal like horses; it is
always the "old reliable family horse
that knocks everything to smash and
runs away.-Atchison Globe.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

A soap mine has been discovered in
Wyoming. When the news spreads
tramps are expected to give the State a
wide berth.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER-
ESTING ITEMS.

Comments and Criticisms Based Upon
the Happenings of the Day-Histori-
cal and News Notes.
AS rule it is generally foolish people
who look wise.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
A Close Call.

"Don't you talk to your husband over
the phone?"
'Never. When have anything of i'm
portance to say to my husband. want to
get near m."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

When some men make money, their
first evidence of it is a visit to their
old home town wearing a stove pipe
hat.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Wages: Old man Blowitt has a re-
markable memory, hasn't he?
Naggs: Wonderful. Why, he actu-
ally remembers a lot of things that
never appened.-Chicago News.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
$500 to $500 per day

Easily made for the next 80 days
selling an attractive line of Holiday
goods. For full particulars send name
and address to Albert Despres, Star
Bldg, Chicago, Ill.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

When a boy makes a confidant of his
sister, it indicates that he is not q
strong, healthy boy.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing Syrup the best remedy to
Use for their children during the
teething period.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

We have noticed, in telling a trouble
to a friend, that he shows a terrible
longing to ring off before we are
through.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

HE thought the gun wasn't loaded. -
But it really was loaded"
after he found out it wasn't. -
Press.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Adams Sarsaparilla Pills cure sick
headaches, constipation, billiousness,
dyspepsia, purify the blood, 10 cents,
rs cents. Druggists.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

]. Pierpont Morgan's latest purchase
is a railway in Chile. No bargain sale
escapes his notice anywhere.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly
spoken of as a cough cure.-J. W.
O'BRIEN, 322 Third Ave, N, Minneap-
oils, Min, Jan. 6. 1900.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Many a man has been hopelessly in
jured by the accidental discharge Of his
dutV
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Etc Permanently Cured. No fits or nervousness
THO after first days Of Dr. Kne's Great Nerve
Restorer. Send for FREE s. 90 trial bottle and treat
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
That List1ess, Lack-Luster Feeling

Caused by a logy, languid liver. Stir it up
with Casc4rats Candy Cathartic, ideal laxative
intestinal tonic and brain bracer. Druggists,
10c, 25c, soc.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
The Best Prescription or Malaria.

Chills and fever is a bottle of Groves taste
less Chill Tonic It is simply iron and quinlne
in tasteless form. No cure-no pay, Price 5oc-
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

your list, hop
ing it may in
duce others to
avail h e m
selves of t he
benefit of your
valuable rem
e d y. Before
taking Lydia
e. Pinkham's
We g e t a bl
Compound 1
felt very bad
ly,was terribly
nervous, and
tired, had sick
headaches, no
a pp e t i t e ,
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

When you take Groves Tasteless Chill Tonic
because the formula is plainly printed on every
bottle showing that it is simply Iron and Qui-
nine in tasteless form. No cure. No nay. 60c.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
Stops the Cough


and Works off the Cold.
Laxative Bronco uinine Tablets cure q cold
In day. No cure. No pay. Price Is cents.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY

Take Laxative Bromo Cuinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money If it fails to cure.
e. w. Groves signature is on each box. 25c
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

Didn't you tell me that you never
expected to touch another drop of in
toxicating liquor?" asked the judge.
WELL" answered the horrible eX-
ample, 81 might as well not have
touched it. l swallowed it so quick
never felt it. Washington Star.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

gnawing pain in stomach, pain in my
back and right side, and SO weak 1
could scarcely stand. / was not able
to do anything. Had sharp pains all
through my body. Before 1 had taken
half bottle of your medicine, found
myself improving. l continued its use
until had taken four bottles. and felt
so well that did not need to take any
more. am like a new person, and
your me .icine shall always have my
praise. - Mrs. w. P. VALENTINE, sec
Ferry Avenue, Camden, NJ.
Holbrook argus., 1901-11-02

&ERS7F1 Wiz be RzE5 n ffEs fesfLs,1c-
" - - - HiSg Is NOT gsHzine.
lydia e. PEs7k1ans kFecicL10 Co.