The daily morning journal and courier., 1901-08-17
HEALED BY HUMBUG.
Confession of a Medical Man Who Re-

| Confession of a Medical Man Who Re-
 mains Anonymous. "Yes, I have had some strange pa tients in my time. as, indeed, every
 doctor of any experience must have | had said the medical man. And I
 have performed some wonderful feats of curing by methods which would not be recorded in the Lancet
 "Qf course. among a doctors clients l are many whose ailments exist only in their imagination. and not q few of them are positive cranks.
 "Only a month ago a man called 10
 see me in a state of great distress. He
 assured me that he had got frog in
 his inside, He had swallowed it in a
 condition of infancy in a glass of im-
 pure water some months earlier and it
 had grown to an enormous size. He was sure that it would be the death of
 him if he could not get rid of it.
 In vain I pointed out that the frog existed only in his own fancy He
 grew furious at the suggestion and said that I was as incompetent and un- sympathetic as all the other doctors he
 had consulted.
 At last to get rid of the man, I said: Very we'll, you may be right af- ter all. At any rate. come here again at this time tomorrow and we will see what can be done
 'He came at the appointed time and I told him that an operation would be necessary, to which he gladly consent aI I Ia Ia administered chloroform, and when he recovered consciousness was able to show him very large and frisSy frog as the result of the operation. His de- light was unbounded and he went away blessing me for saving his life. Of course, he had no suspicion that the frog had been especially imported for his benefit.
 Another of my patients has to thank me for his preserved eyesight. at least so he is kind enough to say. He in- formed me that a tin tack which he had been hammering had sprung Up and lodged in his right eye, causing him in finite pain-and certainly the mans eye, from constant rubbing, was in a state of great Inflammation,
 "f examined the eye carefully, but could find no trace of any foreign sub- stance in it, and as for there being q tin tack buried in 1t the idea was pre- posterous. However, as I saw the man was convinced the tack was there and was making himself i'll with anxi- ety about 1t, I suggested small ope- ration. A few minutes preparation was all that was necessary. Fortunate ly one of my boys had a magnet which I discovered, and attaching this to a battery I held it in proximity to the mans eye
 within a few seconds my efforts were rewarded, for I was able to show my patient very vicious-looking tin tack which I had taken from the draw ing-room carpet), and I had the satis- faction of sending him away happy to advertise my skill among his friends.
 "One good lady. who is a small and annuity to me, vows that am the 'cleverest doctor in town and has sent me crowds os patients She is one of those people who are always inn agining they have some new ailment: indeed, I think by this time she must almost have exhausted all the ills that flesh is heir to-, and will have to begin arain.
 'Of course there is nothing whatev- sr the matter with her except sndo- ence, which is the mother Of all kinds 0f disorders, real and fanciful. Fortu- nately for every ailment l am able to provide a specific, which never fails to cure her in a few weeks. The curious thing is that, with slight variation in ,oloring and flavor the medicines are always the same and contain nothing nore potent than a little sugar, with tablespoonful of wine or spirit.
 Some people would say that it is | wrong to deceive patient in this way; 1 ut I cannot see it, since women axe | lever happy unless they are under the | loctor's hands, and if one man won't | loctor, then another will. My medi- | ines certainly do them good, if only in and in this particular case 10 not cost my patient a tenth part of | he money she spends on her pet dogs
 ''You did not know that it is possible 0 turn mans head completely round | without killing the patient, did you? We'll, it is, for l have done it, and ought | o know.
 "About a year ago q man called to sk me if I could do anything for him. 1e told me that by some means, which | e could not explain, his head had got visited completely round, so that the ack of it was in front and his face be- ind. This man was a serious state of hings, though l admit the mans ap- earance seemed to me quite normal. However, I was equal to this emergen- y, and invited the man to call again t an appointed time prepared to un- ergo an operation.
 By an arrangement of mirrors the lan was only able to see the back of