The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-07-05

his pocket, looked at it, knitted his brows
shook his head, put on his glasses, in
spected the paper again, and gave it up
as a bad job.
| II made hasty memorandum" he
said to the proprietor of the shop, ''of
something l was to call here and buy.
but | trusted too much to my memory
| seem to have jotted down nothing Dut
the initials, and I've forgotten what they
mean.'
Let me see the memorandum" said
the proprietor. 1T may be that l can
ITS nothing but three letters" replied
the customer, handing it over. Only C.
so l see. C. P. A. Why, that's
$ SEPT = g. 8 kind CT brown paint. Wasn't
What fool I am! OF course it was.''
Mrs. Church-'You say they will not
| take any children in these f1ats?'
Mrs. Gotham-''That's the rule, and
the: carry it out to the letter.
"Why, when l came upstairs l saw
three or four dirty-faced children on the
stairway"
"Oh. well. those belong to the janitcr."
-Yonkers Statesman. .,~:~'
\ clergyman writing to the Homiletic
Review relates that at one time he was
| a
| German undertaken who was always
anxious to please. Because of his zeal
in this direction and his habit of so often
getting things backward, he was the
butt Of good many jokes and furnished
others many hearty laugh. One day
the florist in nearby city to send a
floral design representing GATES Ajar."
He hurried to the phone. and, calling
up the florist. said he wished floral
design. He florist asked what kind. He
was puzzled, but not defeated, and after
him. Heaven wide open. That's what
they want"
Time-1O0 years hence. Scene-Liver-
pool.-Aged British Inha bitant (pointing
to liner steaming out Of harbor)- THAT
boat, sir. is one of the most remarkable
Gesd HOW 5S is e0 that Brte6 fnhaS
itant-"1ts the only British steamship
that doesn't belong to an American syn
dicate.''-Fun.
A young tenor singer of London was
asked recently at "smoker'' to favor
very fair rendering of the once popular
Happy Be Thy Dreams" but did not
asDirate the letter III once. When he
had finished he resumed his seat which
| was next to one occupied by Il bald
headed old man. who bluntly remarked
You have good voice. young man,
but you didn't sound one single 'h'-and
the songs full of 'em'
II beg your pardon. sir" rctorted the
vocalist with dignity, you are mistaken;
it doesn't 60 any 'igher than GU
His Marksmanship-"Di YOU
ever shoot a manw questioned the ten
| Inrfnnf firnif1lx r.f poprnr1ol>
here, young Teller" bawled Pepperhole
Pete, in voice that shook Pixies peak
don't you ever reflect on my marksman-
ship again! Shoot man: never
miss'd one, y dern galoct"' State
Journal.
The life Of the English channel stew
ardess is not a happy one. She is for
ever occupied in damping the hopes of
those who have been misled as to the
state Of the sea by the alluring kilograms
posted up in the London termini or print
ally she happens upon an optimist, as she
did last Friday morning. What sort
Of crossing shall we have?" inquired the
lady, cheerfully. Very windy, num-
returned the stewardess for the twenti-
eth time, gloomily. Oh smiled the
| lady, in a tone Of relief: ''oEly windy
not rough? I'm so glad"
To Be Humbled.- "Bliggins is one Of
those people who think they know it ALL
Never mind" answered Sirius Bar
ker. pride goes before fall. He has
a daughter who will soon be through
school. He will sit and listen to her
graduation essay and feel like an igno-
ramus. Washington Star.
My good little man. said the visit.
ing pastor. Il am afraid you've been
h h;s til ga hlhek eys: Don't you want
"Naw,"' said the good little man. Run
home and pray with your own kid. He's
got two black eyes."-Philadelphi Press.
Robbers and Robbers.-''Henry. Hen
ry,' whispered the wife of the good Cit
zen. there's a robber in the house."
Lots O Them" replied Henry sleepily,
lin the House and Senate too. but they
amt a circumstance to those in city
councils. '-Phi]adelphia Press.
A Supreme Test.-First Brewer-"I
am going to advertise this beer as being
able to withstand all climates" Second
hrewer-"Are you sure it's true? Yes.
sir! I've kept a bottle of it in New York
now for six weeks. Life.
| A'o" \LCACAAAA6 " Lie plcilS0ut-lOCEO
lady who has just passed. "Ah, my boy,
owe great deal to that woman
Dorking-"1ndeed! She's not your moth
or, is she?' Downie- my landlady."
l-Glasgow Evening Times.
Hard to Please.-"1 can't get on with
trouble?" "Oh, she gets mad when I
say she's mature; and she gets mad when
say she's immature detroit Free
Press.
"Oh, you cruel boy, to take those eggs
out of the nest! Think of the poor moth
er bird when she comes 1.-The mother
birds dead, miss" How do you know
that?'' Il see it in your hat!'-Punch.s
Father--'Well, my boy, any college
debts ?" Son-.Nothing, sir, but what.
with diligence, economy, and self-denial,