The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1901-04-29
CIRCUMsTANTIAL EVIDENCE
Uncle Mingo Loses His Temper I'm
the Court Room.

the Court Room
When Uncle Mingo went to the restau-
rant where he takes his meals, for his
dinner, he found the waiter very much ex-
cited
Wot de matter" inquired the old man.
A no count, low-down Niger been tell
IN lies on me-" answered the waiter; "he
been maxim out like l is no better dan
liar an a tief.
'Wot you goin to do bout it?" asked
Uncle Mingo
Is goin right straight to Jedge Jones
an sin a constable at him."
An wot den?"
wy, I'll haul him up befo' de cote an
make him prove it"
'"Wot de use O. dat?" asked Uncle Min
go; Wot good it do you for him TO prove
dat you is liar an tief?"
But he can't do it," said the waiter,
holly.
Don't you b'leebe nothin' O. de kim"
said Uncle Mingo, soothingly; wy dem
lawyer kin prove anything cen de worl'
dey wants, once dey gifts at de succum-
stansible evidence. Teck my vice an
don't meek him prove nothin'. Eff you is
mo bigger den wot he is. you kin punch
him cen de jaw. but undderwise de safes
plan is to go an tell twice as much lie
on him
''Jis femme tell you bout a spe rience I
had once and den you'n see de ole man
got cause for talkin' dat-a-way.
II had a copper kittle wot de ole oman
use to bile tings cen. and Teller name
Sambo borry UNI one day for his ole oman
to meek some blackberry sass.
dis was cen June, an all endurin' dc
lot cta A
las cen de fall O de year he SEN UNI
back wild hole cen de bottom big huff
to put your han troo.
II nebber like dat so I tell Sambo he
mus pay for de kittle.
"Sambo fuse to do it, an say de ole
kitte warn't no good no how.
Den l gifts mad an | goes to a law
yer an he say oh yes, he kin meek
Sambo pay all right, so l glib him de
case
well. de case come off, an I perjuce
dc kittle cen cote, wild de daylight shin
in troo de hole cen de bottom.
so l gifts up an splains my case, an
ebbebody say | got a sho ting; so l lows
dere wasn't nothin for de jedge to do
but to order Sambo to pay for de kittle,
an de 'torney fee an damage for Ian
guishment o. min an all o. dat
Den Sambo lawyer he git up, an he
say, May it please de cote. dis is a case
fotch agin my client, who is a wirtuous
an hona' BILE citizen, by dat ole man who
has de reputation OBJ bein' de mos on
truthfullest liar cen dc whole country.
Dis dsreputable character 'cuses US O.
borryin' his ole copper kittle, and return
in de same wild a hole in de bottom,
Now to settle de matter in de simples'
way, / shall perceed to prove dat we
neber borried his ole kitte none tall
But he couldn't do datr' interpoated
the waiter.
Couldn't. eh!' rejoined Uncle Mingo;
'"wy not? Cose he prove it,
But how persisted the waiter.
"Succumstansible ebdence," answered
the old man, 'aint l done tell you dem
lawyer kin prove anything dey wants tor"
After dis, he gifts up agin an say,
May it please de cote, as we has already
prove dat we neber borry de kittle, it is
no use to go no furder. But In order to
convince de cote dat my client is de in
nercent victim OBJ d ojus pussecutin', |
shall now Tercecd to prove DAT We re-
turned de kittle in a pufficly SCUM con-
dition.' "
But he sho' couldn't do dat" exclsm-
ed the astonished waiter.
wy not?" asked Uncle Mingo quiet
ly. "Cose he prove it. / tell you you don't
huON GGlll ldhy
Den Wen he gifts troo provin' dat de
kittle was return cen SCUM condition, he
UPS agin an dresses de cote. May it
please de cote ne says, 'sence we has
win de case on two showin's already, it
is in cose superciious TO continue to
vase de walyble time OBJ dis cote. How
someber, in order to 'xhibit to de cote
dc windicative militianess an onrelent
less cruelty wild witch dat wicked an on
feelin' ole man has prosecuted my in
nercent an wirtuous client, l shill now
perceed to prove to de satifaction oh de
cote, dat de kttle had dat hole in it
wen we borrie dit
The waiter bounded in his chair.
I'm cose he couldn't do dat!' he ex-
claimed.
"Cose he did," said Uncle Mingo;
"ain't | tell you dem lawyer kin prove
anything dey wants? Cose he prove it,
jis' as plain twice TO is fibe."
AN wot did you do DEM"
We'll" said Uncle Mingo, II git mad,
an 1 cuss right out cen de cote"
Il don't blame your exclaimed the
waiter, emphatically: AN wot did you
say?"
Il slam my fis' down on de table like
dis. BAN! an / say 'Teck de dam ole
kittle an go to hell wild itr an l walk
right out de cote"