Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-02-09
- Humorous Items. -


SENSE.
4 society man Of p0ughkeepsIe.
Quite convinced Of the truth If the quips Ee
In comic prints f0und
About jams. had sound
Sense enough 10 avoid getting tipsy-
Detroit Journal.
Henry Guy Carleton. the playwright.
Stammers very badly at times. Not -
long ago he stopped Nat Goodwin on the
street and said to- him: Nat. viii y0I
g-g-giye me half an h-hour Tor f-f-iye
minutes cOn-TCr-s-satlou.
What Is yonr husbands favorite fic-
tion Z" asked the inquisitive person.
Il can hardly say az moments 40
fice. said the patient wife. whether ae
prefers the sick friend story or the DE-
tanned al the Office on business nara
tive indianapolis Press.
The Cake Fell.-Mrs. Newiywesl--''I
bad horrid luck With my cake Mrs.
Binthare-"Too bad-slid il faH*" Mrs.
tewIywed-''Yes- / placed il On the
wind0w-ledge 70 cool. aud my husband,
either by accident OF design. pushed il
c8-"-CIeyeland State Journal.
Thos. Dear tiirls.-TeSs-''M Mamma
was rumRaging through the attic today,
aud she found the cradle | used when
was . baby She was going 10 throw i
gut hut | wouldn't Jet her. .jess--''l
should say not Antiques ara all tha
rage now. - Philadelphia Press.
About Right Mistress Remember,
Bridget. we wan; dinner served promptly
az SIX. What time is & row Bridget
- rs three o'clock. JoosT. Mistress
We'll. you'd better begin IL make the
frozen custard fo1 dessert IN thar five
minute lrecream freezer. Philadelphia
Press.
Polly. dear. suppose I were u Sboot
~ a tree with five birds I'm IT,. aAd kii!
three: how many would there be- ieftE'
Polls Jagged Gl-"IhFee, please. Teacher
No. two w0lld be- left. Peliy-"No
there wouidn't. The three shot would be
left. and the other two would be flied
ay."-Tit-Bi
50 you're going to marry Inc police
man. BTidgetE
Yes. mum.
4 suppose you'll have the same trouble
with him I've had with my husband.
'Shure. whats that. mum
oh he won't give up his club. -
Yonkers Statesman.
Towing Every man must hustle for
himself or get left. You'll get very little
ID this world il sou don't ask for it"
browne Wei. there's one thing
you're likely 10 yet most Of if you don't
ask for il.
Townc-"W What's thatf"
Browne Credit. Philadelphia Press.
The Dictionary leaned over and dealt
Rogpt'S 1hesaurus "A blow in the mid
riff midribs midships. midway or midst.
Thesaurus fell to the floor.
The Bible looked on askance Have
you fellows been qu8rrclug again.
Yes" said Web, we had few
world"
The Almanac yawncd with WEAKNESS,
and looking IN I saw the date Of this
ioko--l352 \. D.-Ncwark Daily Adyer.
tiser.
II see now what my old mother
meant" said Mr. Newlywed. as he took
up a partially soggy piece OF bread
What your mother meantE' echoed
his wife
Yes, what my mother meant. When
! nsed 10 find fault with the meat or
The biscuits she would shake her head
and say: Never mind. my
hoy; you may see the day when you viii
he glad 10 get this Indianapolis sun.
My ragged friend" said the elderly
gentleman with nothing else 10 DO. Il
read a story ia one 81 the daily newspa-
pars about 4 man that dropped dead after
drinking a glass OF beer Was not that
hOrribleE'
Might have been worse" said the oh
iect % charity.
How
He might have dropped dead before
drinkin' it. indianapolis Press.