Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-02-06
rSsAs1ssS;x, ( SSS.S:XA

"'Pay as you CO. is my rule. Yes;
SO many people won't believe you when
you say you'll pay as you come back"
"Why do you call that speckled- hen
Macduff' and the pig 'BarkisY" Be.
cause Macduff lays OH and Barkis is
swillin' Life.
Myer-I wonder what causes concns-
sion of the brain? Gyer-A collision
between two trains of thought, l sup
pose.-Chicago News.
Bride formerly widow)-Oh. Harry,
what would l do if you should die?-
Harry (doubtfully)-I don't know, dear.
but l think l can guess.
WHO was William the Conqueror,
Sammy" asked the pretty school
marin. Mckinley" replied Sammy"
promptly.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Hell point out your faults because
l love you. She-Nonsense! If you re-
ally loved me you would think my
faults were excellences.-Chicago Rec
ord.
The Parent-My boy, do you want me
to tell you what happens to boys who
tell Hes? The Boy-Yes, pop; but,
golly! can you remember back that far!
-Yonkers Statesman.
The lie: "Just as soon as Il man has
satisfied his conscience that it's all
right to tell white lie,' says the
Manayunk Philosopher, "he becomes
colorblind'- Philadelphia Record.
Mr.. Meddergrass- Well, them New
York folks has certainly gone the limit
now. Mr.. Crosslots-What they doin'?
Mr.. Meddergrass-Goin to have a
horseless horse show.-Baltimore Amer
lean.
Schoolmaster-Now, Muggins Minor,
what were the thoughts that passed
through Sir Isaac Newton's mind when
the apple fell on his head? Muggi2s--
l expects he wuz awful glad it warn't q
brick.-Fun.
"All the worlds stage:" "All the
worlds stage, Sam, and the men and
women merely players" YES, massa,
but If OATS so, whar yo' gwine TO git
you audience and orchestry ?-Col-
lier's Weekly.
Mistress-You say you are well rec
commended? Maid-Indeed, ma'am, I
have thirty nine excellent references.
Mistress-And you have been in domes-
tic service? Maid-Two years, ma'am.
Glasgow Evening Times.
Newitt-Lend you a V? Why don't
you borrow it from Marley? He Is
easy. Borrowit-But don't know him
as we'll as know you. Newitt-Thats
just it, and he doesn't know you as well
as l do.-Philadelphia Press.
Hazlitt-So you really think that
Miss Mezzotint is a genuine artist?
And yet you never heard her. Barsad
No, but she freely admits that she
sings her selections. She does not claim
that she "renders" them. = Boston
Transcript.
Tess-I understand Miss Krusty actu-
ally paid me compliment the other
evening. Jess-Not quite, but she came
as near it as could be expected Of her.
Tess-What did she say? Jess-She
said you were very charming-but-"
Philadelphia Press.
Wide Open: Briggs-Well, old man,
how is that Authors Club of yours get
ting on? Griggs-First-rate; we have
made a rule that no one can belong to
1t unless he has written book. Briggs
is that so? had an idea that 1t was
an exclusive affair.-Life.
Benedick-It is said that most of the
people who commit suicide are unmar-
ried. How are you going to get around
that? O'Batch-Oh, well, s'pose after
a fellow has been married while he
gets SO he can put up with almost any
thing.-Chicago Times-Herald.
Clerk Ito patent-medicine man)-Here
is curious credential from one of our
customers Medicine Man-Read 1t.
Clerk-Before l took your elixir my
face was sight. You ought to see II
now. Send me another bottle for my
in-law."-Harlem Life.
Hello, Jones, moving again so soon7
I thought you were perfectly satisfied
with your present home" 81 was, old
man, but the fact is our sitting-room is
covered with goidenrod pattern, and
l can't cure my hay fever at all. The
landlady won't repaper it, and SO we
have to move."-Puck.
Owens-Is Mr.. Lenders in? Boy
Not yet, sir; but l expect him every
minute. Owens-It's 10 o'clock, isn't
1t? Boy-Nearly. The clock will strike
in half a minute, If not sooner There
1t goes! Owens-All right. promised
to be here at 10 O'clock and pay him
some money. Tell him l called and
he wasn't in.-Tit-B Bits.
Aunt Rachel-Mandy, what's the
trouble between you and Mr.. Hankin-
son! l haven't seen him here for sew
eral evenings. Miss Mandy-He SEEM
ed to be getting little too confidential
the other night auntie, and 1 told him
to take his arm away. Aunt Rachel
oil L. II .