davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
Trading wooden Legs.

Trading legs?" / exclaimed, says a
writer in Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly.
do you mean to say that a wooden leg
is an article of barter and exchange?"
WAL, some do an some don't. I'm
one Of the kind that does went on the
driver, dryly. Its only human natur'
to be dickerin' an tradin round If a fell
lows got anythink to trade with, an
when l run acrost a chap who's got
leetle mite better than the one I'm wear
in at the time, l gener'ly stump him fer
a trade before l let him git away.
Sometimes we make a swap of 1t, an
sometimes we don't. Depends on whether
the other feller's got any game in him or
not. It's a sorter resky business, tradtn'
legs, same as swoppin' bosses, an some
folks amt got the rekisite sand to do It.
I'll never forgit the first trade ! made.
Teller l swopped with was one of these
travelin' exhorters-a shoutin' Methodist
or a Second Adventist or suthin' in that
line-an', b'gosh, l don't keer a durn
whether you b'lieve me or not, but 1
hadn't bin wearin' that wooden
leg of his week before
1 quit swearin at the bosses, an
raisin' Sam Hill when anything didn't go
right, same as l alters ulster do, an COM
menced exhortin the passengers an pint
in out the error of their ways to them
in any case where l seen it was neces-
sary.
WAL it want very long before com
plants begun to come in ag'inst me. You
see to begin with, l couldn't make time
over the road without rippin' out at the
bosses wunst in a while. The plaguy
critters noticed the difference in me right
off, an they took advantage of it to lazy
along an do jest about as they pleased.
An then besides complainin' of me fer
bein behind time, the passengers said
was preachin' at them an mixin in al
fairs that was none of my special biz
ness; an, by gravy, it begun to look as
if l was goin' to lose my job, when that
air shoutin Methodist, or whatever ne
was. come along back ag'in an kicked up
rumpus because that leg of mine had
jest about ruined his business; said 1t
had bin travelin' straight t'rds the bot
tomless pit with him ever since he owned
it, an now he'd got so he was jest as
liable as not to swear right out in the
pulpit without thinkin an he allowed
that unless / traded back with him he'd
sue me fer damages
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
BRIGHT BITS.

Il love the spring" enthusiastically
cried the young poet. For years I have
welcomed it with a song" And in snite
of that" added his friend you see II
stiH returns regularly. "-Philadelphia
Times
Scene "a restaurant. Two little boys
dining at public place for the first time
Walter just giving change for bul.)-Little
BOY suppose, father, we don't return
thanks when we pay for our dinner, do
we?'-Pick- Me-Up.
Some men are easily satisfied" re-
marked the Observer of Events and
Things. There is the clockmaker, for in
stance; he never gets any extra pay. and
yet every day he works over time
Yonkers Statesman.
To the Poor-Mrs. Newbride 1WifI an
air of triumph)-Really. I was greatly
surprised to get wedding present from
the Wander Gilds. They are so exclusive,
you know" Miss Jellus-"Yes, but they
are very charitable, l believe. "-PhiIadel-
phia Press.
II don't believe there's single man
in all this town." said the lecturer, who
can give a reasonable excuse for the ex-
istence of the present divorce laws "
Perhaps not" cried voice from the
rear; but lots of married men cam
Philadelphia Record.
The Mistress (enterting the kitchen)-
Jane, didn't I hear dish break a min
ute ago2" The Maid-"I hope you did,
mem. 1t made noise enough. If you hadn' t
heard it l should have thought you were
getting deaf, and that, you know, would
be awful."-Boston Transcript.
The Englishman had been listening to
several newspaper men who were ridi-
culing some alleged bits of humor in a
John Bull publication, and at length
blurted out angrily; You Americans have
beastly manners. You are always makins
fun of our jokes. I'm sure l don't see
anything in them to laugh at."-Judge.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
Didn't steal the Sermon.

A curate having preached a clever SER
mon on Sunday, called upon a certain COL
onel on Monday especially to ask his
opinion. says Modern Society.
How did / like the sermon?" said the
colonel. Every much, indeed. It's one of
my favorites."
lone of your favoritesr' stammered the
curate, slightly puzzled. II do not I'M
derstan6."
The colonel regarded him with a twin
kle at the back of his eyes. "Of course,
l won't say a word, but 4 know very
well that you stole it, and also where you
stole it from
sir said the curate, and he spoke
from out the whirlwind of his righteous
Indignation. 81 am not in the habit, sir,
of stealing my sermons. 1 fear you are
laboring under a mistake and-er-forget-
ting yourself, sir 1 must ask you to apol-
ogize."
The colonel was silent moment. Then
he said: 1T may be that have made a
mistake. Wait a moment. l will make
sure"
Going to his bookcase he took down a
massive tome of sermons-a rare and al
most forgotten work. He turned to GER
tain page and an apologetic, humble look
came upon his face as he glanced up at
the curate II beg your pardon" he said.
II apologize. You did not steal 1t, after
all, for find it is still here. My mistake,
sir: my mistake!
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Savananh Port Society; Sol
ONIONS Lodge No. l, F. and A. NJ.
Special Notices-Sevannah Building Sup
ply Company; Andrew Hanley Company
Entertainment Thursday Evening; Notice
to City Court Jurors, FelIs Strawberries.
John Lynch, Grocer.
Business Notices-Some Things We
Handle Which We Seldom Advertise, A.
NJ. & c. w. West; Harvard Beer; We'd
ding Gifts, Hunter Van Keuren; Green
Corn, Sweet Corn in the Can, The S. w.
Branch Company.
Legal Notices-Apphcatio for Incorpor-
alton of the Oglethorpe Monument Asso-
citation of Georgia.
Electric Paste-Stearns' Electric Paste.
Bicycle Brakes-Morrow Coaster Brake.
Whiskey-Yell Label Whiskey; Muir
ray Hill Club Whiskey; Duffy's Pure
Malt Whikey; Old Quaker Rye Whiskey.
Grape-Nuts Food-Postum Cereal Com
pany.
Medical-Peruna; Castoria; Cascarets;
Worlds Dispensary Preparations; Lydia
Pinkham's Vegetable Pills; Coke Dand-
ruff Cure: Ponds Extract; Stuart's Ca
tarrh Tablets; TUFTS Pills; McElree's
Wine of Cardui; S. S. s.; DIR. Kilmer's
Swamp Root.
Cheap Column Advertisements-He
Wanted Employment Wanted; For Rent
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

There are from time to time rumors of
the billion-dollar steel trust reaching out
to absorb or control other lines of in
drstry than that of manufacturing iron
and steel. pretty well backed rumor Of
the sort comes from Paterson, N. J. In
effect it is that Mr. Morgan, Mr.. Rookie
Teller and their oo-partners In the giant
trust are trying TO secure monopoly Of
the locomotive manufacturing business.
Negotiations have been going on for four
weeks for the purchase of the Cooke Lo-
connective Works at Paterson. The sum
mentioned as the consideration is $1,75O.-
co., The Cooke works are among the best
equipped in the world The scheme, it is
said, embraces the consolidation Of the
works mentioned with those of the Bald
win Locomotive Works of Philadelphia,
the Schenectady works of Schenectady,
n. Y, and the Portland Locomotive
Works of Maine, and all others east Of
the Mississippi river
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
Reflections of Bachelor.
From the New York Press.

Some kisses ought to make all the mi
crobes In them go off and commit sui
eide.
It's a lot easier TO make husband
out OF a lover than It is TO make a lover
out of a husband.
II is probable that a man acquires the
longing TO smoke from chewing on the
end OF a rubber tube in "A bottle.
You can order a vanilla or chocolate
eolair Just as you please. but you have TO
take a blonde or a brunette baby just as
Il comes
A woman can always find some flaw I'm
a mans story-unless Il isn't true.
For The nrst three weeks after q gets
born d baby looks most as red and I'M
comfortable az 80 father
n takes a smart woman 20 make . man
out 0f fool but any fool woman can
make 4 fool out Of a man.
No Hr over ID can Doe expected 20 be-
satisfied with the idea ~ kissing that she
gets Our of funia school boeks
A Riu's way ~ Gathering new man
b. a. uHluuHte fhaf she hes heard thH
ether women taikins q ia shout ban,
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
THE MORNING NEWS is published

THE MORNING NEWS is pubnShed
every day in the year, and served to
subscribers in the city, or sent by mail,
at 70 cents a month, $500 for six months.
and $500 for one year.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
times a week without Sunday isspe),
three months. $3.50; six months, $500; one
year, $500
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week. monday and Thursday by mail
one year, $1.O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance Re
NIT by money order, check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk of
sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column,
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-equal to one inch in Depths the
standard of measurement. Contract rates
and discounts made known on application
at business Office.
orders for delivery of the Morning News
TO either residence or place of business
can be made by mail or by telephone NO,
2lO. Any irregularity in delivery should
be Immediately reported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row.
New York city, H. C. Faulkner. Manager.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

II it is true that the Kaiser has taken
a liking for American cooking. there is
hope for the peace OF Europe, since It
may yet please His Majesty to investi-
gate further and find out the delights Of
really, truly American cooking. That
information. and benefaotion. cannot be
had Ia New York, or Boston, or Chicago.
The culinary art In all Of those cities. and
others OF the North. has been vitiated by
the constant influx of foreigners. and es-
pecially foreign cooks. The simon-pure
and only original American cooking is To
be found In the South alone; in Richmond,
or Charleston, or Savannah. OF Mem
phis, or some similarly Southern and dis
tinctively American city. where the faith
and the dishes Of the fathers have been
kept uncontaminated by outside IN
fiuences n the German Emperor wishes
really 10 know what American cooking
IN IKE. ana 20 enjoy his repast ana have
good digestion follow n, he should send
10 virginia. Carolina or Georgia and get
ore Of the oid-fashioned coiored cooks.
Trained in the kitchen Of some southern
sentieman's family. 20 80 10 Berlin and
prepare for him series u meals from
bee uft ~ g00d dishes based 90
nns. corn homiDy snd mesi. sweet pota-
fefH $40 other Southern farm products.
a msn-1 ~ resi- American spfing-Nhlch
H n ay sqpfhetn safinE -N9gi1 MAKE
i. aal..ff fsel Hks nea pisn. 80
FFsH '.0mH aff fhe whole world, lnclHqr
Hs Ns a.aslsia
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

The Augusta Herald the other day print
ed picture of Senator Clay which. ac-
cording TO the Charleston Post, was "a
very excellent likeness OF Emilio Agui-
naldo." The Post. therefore. wants to
know II it can be that sympathy for the
Filipinos is having effect on the physiog-
nomy of the Marietta statesman" Was
1t, after all. the face. or the hair. that at
tracted the Posts attention? Our con-
temporary should know that the pompa-
dour style is not copyrighted. and that
Senator Clay wore 1t before either Ag-
uinaldo or Jim Corbett became known to
fame
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

Augustus Hare tells an amusing story of
one of his visits to Rome, says the Chi
cago News. He had conveyed his little
flock, which included at least one live
Prince, through the palace of the Caesars
and had gathered them near the Forum,
when he observed a stranger who had
attached himself to the party booking
more and more angry every minute" At
length this interloper could stand Mr.
Hare no longer He burst forth in de-
nunciations.
IAN that this person has been telling
you," he informed the party in loud
voice, about the palace of the Caesars he
has had the effrontery to relate. to you
as If it were his own. You will be as
tonished, gentlemen and ladies, to hear
that II is taken word for word-word for
word, without the slightest acknowledge
ment-from Mr.. Hare's Walks in
Rome. "
IAN said" says Mr.. Hare, was: oh,
I am so much obliged to you. l did not
know there was anybody in the world
who would defend my interests so kindly.
l am Augustus Hare"
1t was a magnificent moment.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

Or. Nagusha, of Toxic, Japan, who is
In this country on a visit thinks the civ
ilized nations should start a crusade
against rats. The rodents. he says, are
not only a nuisance but a curse TO man.
kind They distribute disease germs
broadcast Epdemics OF diseases like
cholera and bubonlc plague would soon
burn themselves QUE In the places OF their
origin If the germs were not distributed by
rats. Every beady-eyed rodent. he con-
tends, Is a scamperng retort filled with
disease germs, and unless the rat IL crush
cd under the heel OF civilization, the pco-
Piles OF the earth win continue TO feel the
effects Of So malevolent influence. The
rat is a nlthy animal ana Is especially
adapted for carrying disease germs DR.
Nagusha Gays every civilized government
owes a 10 Itself 10 rise up In rs might
ana strike The rae. mp ana thigh. until
nDt one Of tbe specie shal be- left.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

Judge Fite, In the Thomas county
superior court the other day, gave society
gambling severe rap. being especially
severe on tho playing OF progressive
euchre for prizes He was aware that the
game was very popular In society circles.
and shat " WA played by prominent cit
liens and estimabio women. But that
does not excuse a." be said. The law
specifies that wherever card playing h.
INDUCED IN for a consideration whether
b be- money or prizes OF intrinsic value.
b. BE- gamblins ana punishable with az
nitie mercy a. h. extended 90 the mos
hardened criminal lie advised tho grand
iufy to take the matter under oonsiasr-
zion. A. }ri, h0sefcE thsru n 90 inii.
catsu ~ indictments nelhg returned
aEsIuss ang ~ ihe TlsmasYilis smart sfi
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

Key West is further from the main
land of Florida than the Isle of Pines is
from the mainland of Cuba. Anybody who
suggested that Key West was not part
an idiot. Nevertheless a clause in the
'Platt amendment practically orders
Cuba to give up all claim to the Isle of
Pines. II Key West is part of Florida,
it seems that the Isle of Pines ought to
be considered a part Of Cuba
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

A boom for Mayor Tom l. Johnson of
Cleveland for President was started in
Iowa some days ago. and now a Penn
sylvania man is suggesting Albert L.
johnson, Toms brother, for Vice Presi-
dent. That would, indeed, be a case of
Too Much johnson.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

1t may be that Mr. Towne has become
a capitalist, and his million-dollar corpor-
alton may deal in a grindstone material,
but it does not follow that Mr. Towne
and his corporation will try to grind the
noses of the people.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

If the Car Of Russia is safely en-
sconsed in a bomb-proof, he may reply
to those petitioners who have asked him
for a constitution in a paraphrase of the
famous reply of the French King, thus:
"A constitution? am the constitution"
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
The weather.

The indications for Georgia to-day are
rain and probably thunderstorms. colder
in northern and western portions. brisk
TO high northeasterly winds; and for Eas-
tern Florida, partly cloudy weather,
showers in northern portion. fresh to
brisk easterly winds
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

If the Florida Legislature can enact a
law that will reach the pistol-toters and
put them out of business, it will perform
an invaluable service to the state. Posi-
bly, more than half of the crimes of vio-
lence are directly traceable to the PERM
cious pistol-toting habit. A terrible illus
tration was given in Columbia, S. c.. only
a few days ago, when the ever-ready pis-
tol and its companion the whisky glass
brought about tragedy that will be
memorable in the state. The bill pending
in Florida provides for a fine of not less
than 500. or Imprisonment. or both PEN
alties. The chief difficulty about most
laws on the carrying of concealed deadly
weapons is that of having them enforced
A strict enforcement of the proposed
FLORIDA law would make pistol-toters few
and far between.
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

Frame iH g9iDg 10 include ihe claims Of
the Catholic church iu beg hI f0r in-
demnily agsinst China is fhis o. COP by
fhe Ffenra government to che ehunb
fof the rearni passing ~ the 'las of as-
ssclafionr' blU 10 thf rfeush clambrrsT
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
THE FUEL QUESTION.

In the opinion of former Gov. Hogg of
Texas, the Beaumont oil discovery in
that state is destined to revolutionize
manufacturing the world over. II this
opinion is sound one, the British man.
ufacturers, and even those of Continental
Europe, have reason for rejoicing 1t has
not been so very long since it was stated
that in both England and Germany, but
particularly in England, the cost of min
ing coal had become so great, on ac-
count of the mines being so nearly ex-
hausted, that manufacturers were unable
to compete with the manufacturers of this
given as one of the reasons why they
could not compete successfully.
1t is claimed that the oil field of Beau
mont is practically inexhausible, though
it is difficult to see how it is possible to
get correct information on, which to base
such a statement. Still that is the state
ment MIR. Hogg makes, and he states fur
ther that it is possible to ship the oil to
Pittsburg, in the heart of the coal region,
at a less cost than coal can be delivered to
manufacturers there. 1t is delivered at 81
a barrel. and two barrels and a half are
equal to one ton of the best coal
1t would seem that there cannot be
much profit in the oil after the payment
of freight. If the freight is to come out
Of the price stated for the OIL 1t is as
serted, however. that money is to be
made made out of the oil at 20 cents a
barrel.
There is not as yet, of course. much Of
a market for the oil. but the owners Of
the oil wells are busy creating a market.
The American Sugar Refining Company
has taken $500 barrels on trial and a
large quantity has been shipped to Cuba
to be used in the sugar houses. Thous-
ands of barrels have also been shipped to
the manufacturing cities of England. II
it proves to be as good for fuel as is
claimed manufacturing may be revolu-
tionized. as stated by Mr.. Hogg. Texas
fuel oil producers may become great COM
petitors of the recently formed coal trust,
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18

The war in South Africa has already
lasted nearly as long as the Crimean
war, and has cost England much more
money
The Savannah morning news., 1901-04-18
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Gainesville (F1a.) Sun Dem) says:
THE convict labor lease question and the
carrying of concealed weapons are Of the
utmost importance to the people of the
state. They are questions which demand
the best thought of those who have been
delegated to represent the people. Only
a conscientious and honorable and i'm
partial treatment of these questions will
reach the ends of justice and prove salts
factory to the people. No member of the
Legislature should think for a moment
that he will be excused for failure to
discharge his duty relative to the oues-
tons referred to. As nearly as possible
the convict labor lease system should be
done away with. and the carrying of con-
cealed weapons should be suppressed. Let
the Legislature give honest, peaceful
citizens a chance to advance"
The Philadelphia Times (Dem) says:
when the next Congress meets the Dem
ocratic minority in the Senate, while not
quite as large in numbers as in the pre-
ceding Congress, will be more compact
and more aggressiveiy led Populists and
Silver Republicans viii not flock by them
selves any longer. Senators Teller OF Col
orado. Heitfield and Dubois OF Idaho, and
Harris of Kansas. all regard the Popullst
party as dead and will participate direct
ly in Democratic caucuses. In addition the
Democrats will gain two aggressive sena-
tors in Bailey, Of Texas. and Blackburn
OF Kentucky. The prospects are excellent
that the Democratic senators will give
their Republican opponents a good many
uncomfortable sittings during the coming
session"
The Charleston Post Dem) says: AN
inquiry among the recruits Of the Ger
man army recently made concerning pub
Dc percentages and events. disclosed re-
markabls Ignorance. out OF seYsnt weight
questioned. twenty-one were unable 10 cay
who the Emperor was. So all his mag
nlnoent posing ~ the father OF the army
has gone Cor nanghL"
The Birmingham AEo-iicrald ODem)
rayHs President Castro % Nenezusia.
who Doe rafed q V0oo in two years from
90 salary ~ Ga should emiggafe 40
thlt country ana JOIN the Republican
pan2."
The suburban citizen., 1901-02-16
Gowns For House Wear.

The proper dress fof the proper oc.
casion means much time, Trouble and
expense saved, and, fortunately, this
fact is being better understood every
year by women who take a pride in
being well turned out and who at the
same time have n little conscience as
to the amount Of money they spend
upon clothes. There are one or two
rules, strict ones, too, that have to be
followed In order to carry out this
scheme. The first and foremost is that
certain gowns should not be worn eX-
cepting for the purposes for which
they We're originally designed, The
gown designed for street wear should
never be worn in the house. There are
hygienic as well as other reasons for
this law. 70 bring into a Cainty bou-
doir or drawing-room the dirt and dust
of the streer, which in these days OF
long skirts ic is impossible o avoid, is
a most untidy habit; and to keep on
the same waist that one has worn all
day, or under 4 heavy Jacket, is to feel
uncomfortable and untidy not 20 NEIL
ton the wear and tear on the clothes
themselves -Harptr's Ba2ar.
The suburban citizen., 1901-02-16

csc entertainment, by which sJJ wat
gained for the Alumnae Endowment
Fund, was one Of the events Of the
year. Among the other work accom-.
plished was the raising of S17O by the
Armenian Society Of the college for
the support Of an orphan girl and $50
by the Missionary Society.
This institution is the only college
for women in that part CT The Orient.
and is the strongest one east OF Eng
land and south Of Russia. 1t draws
It's students from Greece and Albania
on the west, the region Of the Tigris
and Euphrates on the east, Egypt and
Syria on the south, and Russia, Ru
mania and Bulgaria on The north. As
far as circumstances viii permit, the
standard Of scholarship has kept in
line with other American colleges, and
lts diploma has been accepted by two
European universities.
The suburban citizen., 1901-02-16
Honors to an Anerlcnn Girl.

The proposal OF the German Govern
ment to make Count Won Goetzen the
Governor % German Eas, Africa will
place Il former Baltimore girl upon as
high a social plane as that enjoyed by
Lady Curzon, formerly Miss Letter, Of
Chicago. AS the wife OF the Governor
Of German East Africa, Countess Won
Goetzen will he the frs lady among
100000 people, and her position will
practically he that OF royalty. The
Countess was Miss May Stanley Lon
ey, Of Baltimore, before her first mar.
riage with the late William Matthew
Law VINO, dying, left his widow a
great fortune During ner residence
in Washington Mrs. law met tle
Count, VINO was n Military Attache
to the German Embassy. The wedding
took place on January 4, 1898 and Il
few months later Count Won Coetzen
was recalled 10 Berlin by his Govern.
ment His mission in Africa is re.
garded as a very high honor for so
young a man. carrying with it. as It
does, sucn great responsibility and
power.