The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1901-10-03
Lord Morris's Wit.

Irishmen have a worldwide reputation
for wit, and among the natives OF the
Emerald Isle who have contributed their
share toward the acquiring of this repu-
tation no class is better known than Ire
lands humorous judges.
Lord Morris is probably the most hu-
morous Judge on the Irish bench, which
Is saving a great deal. He is known from
end TO end of Ireland for his vast know-
edge on innumerabe subjects. and for his
brilliant intellect, but the man in the IT.
ish street knows him chiefly as the judge
who knows how to make good joke. he
is more dignified now than in the days OF
hts youth-he is I'm the lOs--but only the
other day he leaned over the bench when
sitting as lord chief justice OF Ireland
and asked a young barrister where ne
came from. County Antrim, my lord,
was the reply and the judge turning 10
his clerk. asked did ye liver come across
such a frightful accint In the course OF
yer loife?"
He was more unkind still TO a doctor
who was giving evidence in case before
him Ii was at Coleraine, where a veter-
mary surgeon was being sued for dam
ages for the value of horse which II was
said he had poisoned. The case turned
on the number of grains which could be
administered TO the horse with safety
aud a dispensary doctor stated that ne
had often given eight grains TO man.
the suggestion being that II for horse
could not therefore be excessive. Never
mind your eight grains. said Lord Morris.
1--WE all know that some poisons are cum
ulative in effect, and ye may go To the
edge of ruir with impunity. But the il
grains-would they kill the divil HIM
self At he swallowed them?' The doctor,
WHO seemed annoyed. did not know; he
had never had him for patient, All.
no, docther, We niver had, came from
the bench: "more's the pity. The old
bhoy's still alive"
II was I'm Lord Morris court that one
o. the strangest judgments on record was
orce given. IL was an abduction case.
tie offence being OF purely technical
character The judge listened patiently
10 the whole OF the evidence and then'
addressing the jury, said: II am COM
pelled to direct you 20 find verdict of
guilty i'm this case. but you will easily
see that I think It was a trfning thing
which | regard as quite unit To occupy
NV time. IL Is more valuable than yours.
Al any rate IL Is much better paid for,
| Find. therefore. the prisoner guilty OF an
| dI tion. which rests. mind ye, on four
points-the father was not adverse, the
| mother was not opposed, the girl was VII
| ling and the boy was convaynient. The
I
| indigo sentenced him 90 remain In the dock
| I'm the rising OF the court! Hardly had h'
delivered sentence than, turning to the
| .bcrin Lord Morris said. Let va go.
| and looking at the prisoner. he called
across the court, Marry the girl at once
| and God bless you both.
IL was Lord Morris who. when some
| body smoke OF Mr. Gladstone as a heaven
| horn genius. hoped that 1T may be Ions
limo before heaven II agin i'm an interest
| ing condition
n fell 10 the lot OF Lord Morris e
| arra,, himself in gorgeous and gaud,
robes az n flower show which was opened
! bv the Princess Christian and his lord
ship felt compelled To apologize TO th'
princess for his apparel. Your Roya
| Ulehness will observe he said. that ~
vice chancellor OF the university | an
Obliged 90 wear all this hnery ] think !
oniv fair 10 offer you this explanation
lest vou should think I am trying q
transform myself into a sunfower. '-Ne'
York Press.