The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1901-03-08
THE INFORMATION CLERK.
People Drive Him Al
rnoSt Mad with SHY Questions

At the Bureau Of Information in the
City Postoff.ce. the lie OF the clerk IN
charge is rot tranquil All the woes Of
creation. he believes, are poured into his
ears. and were it not for the serenity Of
his disposition he would have Ions since
been an inmate of d madhouse- EnGm-
ri.s. concerning all manner Of things are
piled t. him. and ne believes that one d x
Of the public take him for the Delp2-c
oracle. or a modern spirituaIistic nA2di-
am
That he has not been requested TO pro
vide information concerning the I(st
place TO buy ribbons. he considers an in
expIicabie mystery. All other questions
within and without reason, have been
presented 10 him for unhesitatins and ac-
CITRATE solution
Visitors pass the windows wher- stamps
are sold in wholesale and retail quanti-
ties. only to proceed to the Bureau "f In
formation and request TO be directed TO
the place where stamps may be obtained,
or to ask if stamps are sold there The
money order department of the EOsrofiice
is directly opposite the door of ne Blu
reau of Information, but visitors ap2ar-
entity prefer 10 apply 10 The clerk IL the
latter office for information concerning
the position Of the forcser, rather than go
direct 10 the proper place
The clerk in the Bureau Of Information
is sometimes of the opinion that no one
in the United States has been taught to
read. and he notes "A lack Of superstition
on the part of the travelling public from
the fact that none Of them apparently be
li,vc in signs He does not object to be
ing asked where the elevator is. and the
whereabouts Of every officer in the build
--s, z
transportation when a stranger comes in
and enquiries for the Bureau Of Informal
ton
The greatest of his trials are in cnnuec-
ton with enquiries about lost strayed, or
stolen letters. Every man who has ever
lost :. letter. or thinks he has lost d let
ter seems to believe that the Information
clerk is responsible People WHO lose their
mail are not usually IN n good mood when
they apply at the Information Bureau.
and frequently their wrath is heaped upon
the innocent clerk. who can only be pO-
lite and answer questions
Women are the baBe of the clerks eX-
istence, for no matter what their trouble
is It takes many feelings to make expia-
nations clear and then many depart be
lieying that the man at the Bureau really
knows nothing about what he has been
talking Of.
A man came into the room no long while
since and opened fire on the unfortunate
clerk. claiming that a valuable letter had
been lost
I suppose that you have sent 1t sail
ing around the world and that in about
five years it will reach its destination
postmarlled like d trunk returned from a
tour of the Continent, proceeded the
caller.
The clerk replied with his accustomed
imperturbability that he hardly thought
any such thing had been done, and that
if the sender would sign the customary
| blank he would have the matter properly
enquired into.
And send the enquiry around The
on the matter about a year after the
world comes TO an end
The clerk expressed his personal opln-
ion that such d length Of time would
| hardly be consumed in making the en-
quiFy, and that it had never been on rec
ord in the Office that anything Ike so long
a time TO ferret out the difficulty had
/ been required
JusG preceding the Inauguration. man
entered the office. with a registered Il tier
IN his hand. which had been delivered al
his house in the city The clerk finally
evolved the fact that the letter had been
directed to person, in care OF the owner
Of the house. who held the letter In his
hand. The party TO whom the letter was
directed was expected. he learneI rom
the local resident. to visit his family dur
ing the Inauguration. The letter had been