Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1901-07-25
:. A Reporters First Effort.


he was poor newspaper reporter
living on the miserable pittance of S.
week, and wondered where his next
meal was coming from. With a fur
rowed brow and stony stare, he stood
on the steps of the edi1ce where news
papers are made and gritted his teeth.
At last light broke over him, the
boy had turned on the electricity, and
with low cultural he exclaimed Il
have II" But he didn't; he had mere
ly conceived an idea, and feeling In
his pockets for a quarter, made bee
inc for the queer Chinese chop restaur-
ant.
In front Of the restaurant he met
Bee, the artist, whose golden locks
hung with aesthetic fringe upon his
coat collar and whose cadaverous ex-
preston suggested Lent and abstinence
from all manner of feed except fish,
flesh, fowl and vegetables
Lets eat" said Bee.
The reporter stared hard at the
speaker and replied in subdued man
ner, Lets"
And so they entered the elaborate
dining room of Hop Sing Wah Sin;
the cliild-like and bland manipulation
of plates and napkins, who seated
them, and said: "Stlake, leggs, poke
chop greasy, mutton chops. disters,
watulyouhaye?'
1t was Lent, and Bee was really fast
ing, so with resigned air he exclaim-
ed, Bring 1t ALL" and the reporter
acqulesced.
Say old MANI" calculated the art
list, 1--WE got an ideal"
With rush the reporter shut and
bolted the door. Bee was never known
to have had but one idea before, and
that escaped.
What is it," inquired the scribe
when he returned to the little 3x5 1-2
table after boiling the door and pulling
down the blinds.
You write funny story" said Bee,
and I'll show you what real comic
illustration is"
The reporter lapsed into blatant
idiocy and wept not for himself, but
for the unparalleled conceit of the youth
with the frescoed hair The briny tears
fell on the floor In torrents and Pat,
the tramp dog, who looks like Bee,
quenched his thirst at the fountain OF
youth.
Alas" sighed the reporter, "the
bump Of the ridiculous has never de-
veloped in my fast becoming bald
Uranium and know not from whence
the laugh cometh. Bee, old golf pants.
II an Engllshman writes joke, It will
he necessary to furnish a diagram, so
that the great American unwashed
may understand It,"
"Oh, that's all right" replied the
artist, they won't expect to laugh a,
the story, they'll laugh when they see
the pictures"
Il guess they WILL" replied the
writer Of street happenings, and Bee
failed to see the point.
Supper came along Just then and the
clatter Of knives and forks prevented
further conversation for several Sec
onds. when the couple were Joined by
a devout Hebrew, who exclaimed,
"Howdy, gentlemen" and turning to
Wone Lung, ordered pork chops and
oysters, keeping well in mind the
mosaic law.
At last Bee, having satisfied the edge
Of his abnormal appetite, said; Say,
old man," this prefix to his conversa-
ton is habitual, what do you think
of my scheme?'
bee, my boy, II you will promise to
subjugate the lion like al fresco hair
which alike adorns you and Pat. will
write a story that will make Bill Arp
wish his name was Smith," replied the
reporter.
I'll give you my solemn word as
devont observer of Lent. that | will
perignate towards the barber and re-
quest the tonsor to subjugate my curl
ing locks and trim up Pat" was the
reply.
"Then, will write a story so full Of
English jokes that Punch will be for
gotten and he great American people
shall laugh said the reporter.
The Hebrew was by this time deeply
Immersed in pig, his face suffused with
an idyllic smile Of happiness as he
thoughtfully thanked the compiler Of
the Koran for leaving that delectable
article Of diet on the menu.
wat is It. poys, you discuss 90
hard?" he calculated.
"Bee's got scheme, and II We both