The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1901-04-08
SPRING SALAD
By WHITNEY
STORY oE THE MINISTER WHO
TOLD OF DEATH OF ANANIAs.
Signs of Spring-A Few News Notes.
Personal and Other Driftwood.
Concerning the Erie Boilermakers.
A Consistent Starruccan.

Special to the Scranton Tribune.
Susquehanna. April Ga few sun
days ago a Montrose minister preached
a sermon on the evils Of mendacity, to
a large congregation. In the course OF
his remarks he alluded to the tragic
death Of Ananias. At the close of the
sermon an old deacon took the minis
ter aside and informed the reverend
gentleman that he had made mis-
take in regard to Ananias.
"How so?" asked the astonished di-
vino.
"Whs. by telling the congregation
that Ananias is dead said the deacon.
III don't understand said the
minister, in some confusion. please
explain"
Dang it," said the deacon. nearly
every man in the congregation Is an
Office seeker and when they learn that
.AnaniaS is dead the whole burned
crowd will want to ill his place"
NEWS CURRENT.
1T is probable that the striking Erie
bolermakcrs and their helpers Will re-
sumo work next Monday.
James Mack, of Hartford. Conn,
manager of Tim Hurley. the Susque-
hanna pugilist. wants to run his man
UP against ANY middleweight in New
England"
Good Friday" services were today
held in the local Catholic and Episco-
pal churches and largely attended.
This borough's indebtedness is only
$3S9.9l
The "Old Arkansaw" company will
appear in Hogan opera house, April II.
The Canawacta Water Supply COM
pany will probably add several large
springs to its plant during the sum-
nler.
JUST BETWEEN Us.
Tha good that some men do may be
Inferred with their bones, but the cof-
fins of some men are not crowded
\ female lecturer on woman's rights
says the women want stable hus-
bands" Perhaps that explains their
weakness for coachmen.
By premature explosion near For
est City Il miner was fatally injured.
The local papers that that similar
accident happened to Il man some
years ago.
The difference between IA washer
woman and Il ballet girl is the former
gets her living with her arms.
After the man has finished ting
up the stove-pipc the family parrot has
to be kept out of the room when the
minister calls.
1t Is a singular phase of human ma :
turc that when a man gives his wife Il
dime to buy Il paper of hair pins or ii
gum ring for the baby it looks about
twice as big as when he planks ii down
for rcd rum.
y CONSISTENT STARRACCAN.
The vcracious and astute Starrucca
correspondent of the Forest City News
begins his batch of news with this:
The late General Harrison and Mr..
Whitney. the correspondent have used
considerable space in the newspapers
on account of their lying in state
Mr.. Whitney may not have lied in
The state Mr.. Harrison did but it is
safe TO say that h has lied in all the
states he was ever in. and when the
time comes to lie in state he will prob
ably he able To make himself believe
it is nothing but an old fashioned fire
place" md it ends with this: I'm
Gle Dan Wrghtrr used to be a crack
shot. often he killed "A deer at such
' hiNiIl'' '' 'il'it nc WIS tDlllItlleu 10
mis- ""i' .'''h his ammunition to pre-
serve Until he could get to it,
Conn "slly necessary.
d" on THE WING.
The i.iiv engineers do not expect
that they win he compelled to pay
for the Chicago history of tho Erie en-
gineers. \ whole raft of Chicago pub
fishers appear to be engaged in skin
games nowadays.
Colonel Charles c. Pratt and family,
who have spent the winter in BinG-
hamton, are returning home to New
Milford
William j. Pike, of Hallstead, Con-
gresham Grows able and popular
secretary, has nearly regained his
health, which, for Il time has been
precarious.
The Erie will, during the spring and
summer. make great improvements all
along the line.
The Delaware and Hudson is still i'm
proving it's Nincvah branch. I'he