Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1901-10-05

WAUWAT0SA NEWS
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Il Humorous Items. X
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Said the colored deacon: Il notice dat
Br'er Johnson al,us gives out his text via
de Bible upside down, but his scuSe Is
de way is so plain dat even de wayfarln
man can't miss de inH'-Atlanta Con
stitution.
Cook. my husband complains that the
coffee was cold, the meat overdone, th!G,
biscuits burned, and the oatmeal soggy.
"Yez hey me sympathy, mum; i must
be awful t live wit such man. Den
yer Times.
Iohnny-"Paw?"
Paw-"Well my son.
Johnny-"Say. paw, what is the eighth
wonder of the wOrldt'
paw-"WOnder what Morgan VIII buy
next - Baltimore American.
rs anybody waiting on YOU said a
shopwalker at a Diapers to a girl from
the country.
Yes. sir. said the blushing damsel;
chats my young man outside. He
wouldn't come in."-TIt-Bits.
The Present Pace Servant-'A pub
Usher at the door to see you, SIT. Mod
ern Authoritative him come in and
wait; tell him / just began writing a
book and won't have it finished for fif-
teen minutes. Ohio State Journal.
rs You gwine ter let dat mewei do as
he please?" asked Uncle Ephram's wife.
"Wha's you will power"
MY will powers all right" he an
swered You jes' want ter come out
hyar an measure dis here mewels won't
power"
Il suppose you are glad to be back
home from the country said the friend
oh" answered Sirius Barker, as
he took dyspepsia tablet II don't know
that il makes much difference whether
| am kept awake at night by the katydids
or the street sweepers. Washington
Star.
Philosophic.-'poor bye" exclaimed
O'Hara, condoling with Cassidy. who had
been injured by Il blast. IT'S tough luck
tch hey yer hand bowed off.
Och, faith, it moight ave bin
wurse." replied Cassidy. Suppose Ord
had me weeks wages in it at the toime"'
Philadelphia Press.
Jack" she said to her iiance, after
hc returned to the beach, you mustn't
My heart was i'll my mouth all the
time"
"Impossible.' he cried. such n heart
is entirely too big to get into place so
small. '-Philadelphia Press.
at was an outrage" exclaimed the ex-
ritable young man with the very foreign
accent 1.-The father Of the young lady
offered marriage settlement of hun
bred thousand dollars"
1T isn't much Of dowry"
MY dear friend, it is not a dowry at
all. 1t is tip. Washington Star.
What do you thing Of that whisky
asked the host.
We'll" said the guest, smacking his
lips as he laid down his glass, lit re-
minds me of a good story"
Lets have it,"
"Ohi You misunderstood me- mere
~ wish to imply that it's worth repeat
ing."-Philadelphia Press
1t was Monday. The wretched goat
peered through the gaps in the back
yard fence.
"Ah me!' she sighed, I'm starving.
/ must do til mustv"
DO whatg' inquired the dilapidated
hen.
making dash through the gap.
iddie--"Trustworthy advices from
Point Barrow, Alaska. report the total
failure for the past season of the foe
whaling done by natives at Point Bar
row ana Point Hope, leaving the natives
destitute and creating n shortage in the
whalehOnc market"
Van Braam-"Of course, that makes
the natives blubher. pittshurg Chroni-
clc-Telcgraph.
One very cold day Tom. in his first
ovcrcoat turned back TO its utmost limit.
FEM said his father, button your
coat"
The hoy demurcd
Look at mine" added his father.
Yes" said Tom, ruefully. but every
body knows that You wear trousers. -
Current Literature.
In Bad Way.-"You'n have to ex-
euSe my dolly" said the little 4-year-old
with great dignity. Shes indiSpoSed -
What is the matter with her, Kitty ?"
asked the visitor with Il show of friend
ly interest and sympathy. shes lost
all the sawdust out Of her stomach. "
replied Kitty part Of her left legs
gone shes got nervous pr0strat ion and
can't wink her eyes. Chicago Tribune,
Ganiah Smoking in Jamaica.
4 demand is being made in Jamaica
for the suppression of the practice of gan.
jah smoking among the many thousands
of East Indian coolies who work on the
banana and sugar plantations throughou,
the colony. Ganjah is a variant of IN
dian hemp, or bhang, which was en-.
ployed to arouse the fierce passions of the
rebel StpONS during tho Indian MN. INV,