Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1901-02-05

great deliberatiOn, began 10 read. IL
was q circular regarding a new discov-
cry in the cure of consumption, and he
had not yet finished with the first tes-
timonial when Mrs. Gallup sobbed four
times in succession and family asked:
Samuel Gallup, do you know that
your dyin wife is present in the room"
he made no reply. That testimonial
from one who had been cured after
his coffin had been purchased made
him hold his breath as he read.
Eyes; she Is present" dolefully con-
tinued Mrs. Gallup after several shifts
Mt the bottle, land she wants to hev
few last words with you. When you
started over town, was singin Bar
bara Allen and thinkin my days might
be long in this land. Not five minits
later the summons come. / had just
started to wash the dishes, and l had
that cracked blue platter in my hand,
but 1 hadn't gin it over two wipes
when the dishcloth fell to the floor
with a great spat. You are hearin
what 1 say, amt you, Samuel"
Mr.. Gallup wasn't. He was devour-
ing the second testimonial, which gave
the case Of q woman who had been
given up by over 30 doctors, and yet
two bottles furnished her with a new
pair Of lungs.
when that dishcloth fell, knew
that my time had come. That's the
way Mrs. Grover and Mrs. Taylor
went. Their dishcloths fell, and in "a
hours they was In heaven. shall be
up there by tomorrer night, Samuel.
while you'll be free to stay out all
night to hear the political news. I'd
hev died before you come back home.
only wanted to talk with you leetle
about the funeral. Let's see. II / die
tonight, you'll hold the funeral day aft
er tomorrer, won't you, at 2 o'clock In
the afternoon"
Mr.. Gallup was listening to a noise
outside. He heard something to re-
mind him of hen trying to crow, and
he wondered If it could be that so long
after dark.
IF you want 1t day sooner, you
can hev It," continued Mrs. Gallup
after sobs and gasps and shifts at the
bottle, "but you must look out or the
nayburs will talk. Better hev 1t day
after tomorrer, and 1 hope, for your
sake, it won't be a rainy day. I've
sometimes thought I'd like big fu-
neral when / went, with over 40 wag-
ons In the purcession and the church
bell a-tollin and the dogs a-howlin, but
I've given that up. No, Samuel. you
needn't make any spread over me. I'm
one Of the kind that kin 60 to heaven
without any hurrah and fireworks. II
there Is ten wagons in the purcession,
/ shall be satisfied. Don't you think
ten ought to be huff for person like
me?'
1t wasn't direct question, but had
it been Mr. Gallup would not have
answered. He was devouring the third
testimonial and making up his mind
to try bottle on the sly.
"Ten wagons in the purcession. Sam
uel, and the bells needn't toll nor
nuthin else happen. If anybody is
diggin taters or maxim soft soap or
dyein carpet rags, they needn't stop on
my account. If % people come to the
house, that will be huff. We've got
'leven chairs altogether, countin them
with broken backs. and Mrs. Walters
will lend you the rest. You'll hev our
own preacher, Of course, but he needn't
20 on for an hour or two and tell how
good l was and how much you'll miss
me. If he says that my toll is DER, and
that you won't never find more savin
wife, that'll be about 'nuff. Shall you
do any cryin at the funeral, Samuel"
No answer.
"l'd do leetle bit If I was you-jest
q leetle. If you don't, folks will talk
about 1t same as they did about Jim
Dewitt. He never cried at all, and to
this day folks say he didn't use Han
ner right. l don't ask you to break
down and sob and git up an excite
ment, but you kin gasp few times and
wipe your eyes and blow your nose.
I'm sorry you'll hev to take that long
ride to the graveyard. as you could be
playin checkers or sunthin, but dom,
see how you are to git out Of it. How
ever, you won't never hev to go up
there ag'in. When you git ready to
buy me q gravestun, you kin send II
up by man. I s'pose you'll buy q
stun Of some sort, won't your"
Mr.. Gallup didn't hear. In thefourth
testimonial man declared that he had
been saved after one whole lung and
three-quarters Of the other were gone
and 1t was a sketch to thrill the reader
clear down to his toes.
"Of course I don't keer about nc
gravestun for myself" said Mrs. Gal
lup as she tried to wipe away her tears
with the glass stopper Of the bottle
"but If you don't put one up the nay
burs will call you stingy. Get CHEAP
one, however. If you kih git one full
$40 and trade lot Of carpet rags In
I'd do 1t. I used to think wanted O
whole lot of readin on my gravestun
but I've changed my mind Jest put
on that Susan Gallup expired in the
forty-ninth year Of her age Of ginera
disability and that she has found rest
where asthma, bo.ls, backaches and
rheumatic cease from troublin. YOU
needn't say a word about maxim AZ
yards Of rag carpet and a bar'l Of soft
soap last year while enjoyin sore eyes
and boil on my arm or that I allus
kept eatnip, smartweed and pepper
mint herbs in the house and was q
nurse to all the nayburs. No, Samuel
you needn't-say a word-about them
things. Make it-a cheap-gravestun
and you needn't-never go up there
and-and"-
And when Mr.. Gallup had finished
the testimonials and fully determined
to buy at least three bottles and hide
them in the wood shed he rose up
yawned and stretched and looked
| around tn find Mrs. Gallup asleep anC