The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1901-04-26

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Doctor-Dldn't | say he was to avoid
all excitement? Patients Wlfe-Yes,
that's what got him Brooklyn
Life.
HE has a very breezy manner, don't
you thlnk?" "Well, yes, if you refer to
the delight he takes in airing his
views. - Philadelphia Press.
81 suppose you'll be telling people
that I'm a fool" mo, dear. There are
some things we must keep to our
selves. Chicago Daily News.
A possible explanation: Il wonder
why the Struts didn't invite us to their
daughters wedding?" Maybe they
didn't want us."-Chicago Record.
Jack-Don't you think that woman,
as "A rule, prefers a man who is her
master? Ethel-Not at all She pre-
fers one who thinks he ls.--The Smart
Set
ITS a mystery how all these wars
are kept up" what do you mean?"
why, so many men quit and come
home to lecture about them. "-Chicago
record.
| Hodd-Hang 1t all! DO you suppose
I'll ever make good golf-player? Todd
(pityingly)-N old man. You think
too much Of your family and your bus
iness.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Soubrette-But how old she
looks The Leading Woman Don't all
actresses look old. my dear? The Sou
brette-No; most actresses look young
and tagged out; this one looks old and
well-preseryed.- York Sun.
LAZY Whose mare has just kicked a
member of the hunt who was follow
Ing too closely)-Oh. I'm so sorry! | do
hope it didn't hurt you! She's such a
gentle thing, and could only have done
1t in the merest play, you know
Punch.
"Why did that young man leave so
suddenly?' asked Maud. 1T was my
fault" answered Mamie: 81 thought
lessly got to talking about the beauti-
full autumn haze by the river. forgot
he was a West Point cadet."-Wash-
lngton Star.
His life n failure: Yes, | consider
my life a failure" "Oh, Henry, how
sad! Why should you say that?" Il
spend all my time making money
enough to buy food and clothes. and the
food dlsagrees with me and my clothes
don't fit."-Life.
Peddler- Wouldn't you like some mot
toes for your house, mum? It's very
cheering to a husband to see nice
motto on the wall when he comes home
Mrs. De Jagg-You might sell me one
II you've got one that says, Better
Late than Never"
Thwarted ambition: Hello, Boom
erlelgh! | thought you were holding
down a seat IN the Senate Mt Washing
tonw mo; had a streak Of bad luck.
"How's that?" "Just as got my legis
,ators rounded up for the final vote my
oank failed. -Bryan's Comoner.
Mother coming swiftly)-Why, VIII
lie! Striking your little sister! Willie
oggedly)-Auntie made me- Nader
Aunt-Why, Willie. l said If you die
strike her | would never kiss you again
Willie Cstin doggedly) l couldn'
let no chance like that slip.-Tit-Bits
! A Jersey farmer visiting New Yorl
J stood looking at a sign in bookstore
window: Dickens Works All Thi
Week for Two Dollars" "Wal." he re
! marked. my 'pinion is that that Dick
ems Teller is either mighty poor work
=, man or else he's COMPOUNDED hard NJ
4 for job Boston Courier.
j Testing the theory; Mr.. Kerrigan-
Kape shtill fOive minutes. for the Low
: av hivnl Mrs. Kerrlgan (six children
crying and hghting)-Phat fer? MI
4 Kerrigan-Oi want to give this moind
: cure book a fair trial OF want to sc
y can Oi convince mesilf thot there is n
sech thing ez matrimonyl-Puck.
r. Johnny" said the little fellow
- mamma, Il want to give you a piece Q
cake. but l can't find the key to th
pantry" That's all right. mamma,
replied bright little Johnny; 81 kno'
how to get it without key" That
all want to know" she said, as sh
reached for the slipper.-Boston COu
n Ter.
. What are you doing?" asked one {
q his friends who had happened in.
= am writing my resignation replied IL
re professor Of something or other in Il
proprietary university. What are yC
2. doing that forP" Because l am goir
er to make a speech this evening in whiC
t. l shall probably express an indepen
IL ent opinion. "-Chicago Tribune.
a Take my seat, madam" She toe
,e- it. About ten minutes later she l
nd marked: THANK you. sir. l won