Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1901-10-18
A PROHIBITED PIPE.
BY BARRY PAIN.


"Oh, this is good enough,"eI objected.
AS a0hastter of fact, it was rather bad; but 4
dislike moving.
NO; YOU must come on. I have sworn an
oath, and I must keep It."
J On his way, out he clutched the, head ]
waiter, pointed to something on the wall
and said words that could not hear; but
could see that they were spoken with
anger, sarcasm and contempt
Q The head waiter made gestures indicative
Of resignation under misfortune and of
general disclaimer of anyoresponsiblity for
anything.
The mystery deepened, and as soon as we
had seated ourselves in another restaurant
demanded an explanation.
''Wen," said Werner, "you saw me point
ct that notice the WALTZ"
Eyes, there was notice: Putridina,
good, clean dinner claret. Made in Ger
many. Doctors order It, think remenls
Der correctly.'so %.
Undoubtedly; but it was not, at, that
notice that 1 pointed. It was the one above
it, which says: No pipes permitted in this
GLOON. I am a sworn member of society
that does not permit that notice."
whats the good of bothering? IF yea
Hant to smoke pipe, you can smoke it else
where-and the restaurant chap is within
his rights
% 'sThat's all wrong" said Werner, warm
ing to his subject. eff a restaurant pro-
prietor says that no smoking is permit
ted, then he is within bis rights. But it is
not his business to settle what form of
smoking his patrons are to adopt; that is
impertinence. And when bul[necked, po-
tato-backed Belgian has saved enough out
of his sheakings to start seventh-rate city
l.
not letting him be impairment to me.
Here's his blessed saloon, as he calls it. You
may smoke there while other people are
eating, but it must not be pipe. Why,
the confounded risso1e-maker will be tell
ing me how to get my hair cut next" oe
can unintentional impertinence," I sug
xested.o %
81 never take the absence of intention as
any excuse. If our waiter poured plate of
soup down my back Internationally,
shouldn't smile and entreata him not to
worry about it, On the contrary, I should
make it my business to see that he worried
fery considerably. No, if any ambitious
meringue merchant wants to impart an air
of refined luxury to the greasy rat-warren
he calls his saloon, he is welcome to do it
by any legitimate means. For instance, he
might wash his hands or he might wash his
walters; he might teach those of his COM
patriots who patroniZe his shop to eat IN
some less repulsive and less disgusting man
ner. That would be all to the good But
I will not have any half-bred carrot-stamp-
er come bulging up to me in his second hand
frock coat to tell me I am not to do pre-
cisely as I choose-in the matter of pipe
smoking or anything else. The society to
which l belong is pledged and sworn to put
that notice down. 1t is not that we insist
on smoking pipes-it is because we do not
think an experience with an ice cream bar
row qualities man to act as master of cere-
monies. It may enable him to start dinner
factory on less peripatetic lines, but that is
where his ambition has to STOP"
'But is it ambition! Isn't it simply de-
sire to stimulate the sale of his own cigars?"
"Undoubtedly that comes in And there
khe opposition becomes still stronger. There
my society leaves the abstract for the con-
crete. It is no longer question of a loss
of dignity and aself-respect in allowing a
Internationally soup machine to run your
private business. It is the more serious
question of dambad tobacco. In the more
decent restaurants you never get that no.
tice, and you do get respectable cigar.
Wherever that notice goes up the cigars
are bad beyond blasphemy. G, Not one known
and recognized brand is to be found there.
The distinction is made by the price-four-
penny and sixpenny. For sixpenee you may
nave an lnIdIQd GStlugud anu d Gel tdin
knowledge that the sad-eyed exile never
gave more than ten shillings for hun
dred of them"
"And what do you get for fourpence?"
'"The same cigar, but out of different
box. Yes, that pipe-prohibiting notice Is
part, of a conspiracy to promote the sale, at
the highest possible price, of the worst pos
sible cigar. Our society is putting its foot
down on that notice. We go into the fried
\ RI hat tad
point to it and walk out again. We are
also taking very much stronger measures,
but as they are of a kind which might not
be altogether approved by the police, we
do not speak of them to the outside pub
lie. The gentle foreigner who makes money
by serving us has got to understand that
he can make it only in that way; that If
he attempts to give US directions he viii
not make money, and unpleasant things
may happen to him. I am sure you viii
join US. There lis no society doing better
work. and there is no subscription"
mo, I shan't join you! You have my
sympathy, and the fact that there is no
| subscription is specially attractive. But
you are apparently illegal. I cannot be il
legal, partly on moral grounds, and partly
because l am always found out"
He argued the point at seme length. He
said, OF implied, that was a slave and .
poltroon-he always expresses himself with
a generous strength. But he did not con
vince me. Then he commanded black cot
| fee, produced his pouch and seasoned brian
| and prepared the burnt Offering.
"Ver' sorry, SIR said the waiter, 'fbut
pipes are not allowed ERE"
What do you meant" Numbered Werner
There's no notice up"
eve had a notice, but some gentlemen
did not like it. My boss, he say: Take it
down! But he keep the bill just the same.
| Try a YER nice cigar, Flor de Cabbagio?'
| Black and White.
/ Gnnd Evidence