Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1901-05-30


''HE WAS PEART IN HIS FEELN's AND
HARD HITTER.
he was meaner'n skunks. He'd bite
and kick at anybody who come within
ten feet OF him, and if l hitched him to
the cart he wouldn't pull a pound. l
was keepin him around in the hopes TO
trade him off when along comes a
stranger one day from Arkansaw The
old woman was gone to a naybur's and
| was sittin on the doorstep when this
stranger halted and said:
"'Kin l everlastin'ly and eternally
fiatter myself that | am addressin the
celebrated and notorious Zeb WhiteY
"'Thats me- said |.
"'The critter who has killed 5000
possums, 5000 wOodchucks, 1920 coons
and 90 bars?
'Them's about the figgers. stranger
The man who crowded a circus ele-
plant into the ditch, flung a bull over
the fence and licked three wildcats
barehanded?
"'That's mostly me-
1.-THE man who has outrun, outjump-
ed, outwrassled and outfit every critter
in Tennessee who would tackle himg
Kinder that
"'Waal, now goes on the man as we
shakes hands, 'yo' seem to be some
pumpkins, and l hope yo' are, fur I've
walked over from Arkansaw to gin yo'
a trial. I'm goin to do my best, Zeb
White, to lick yo' Outen yo'r butes'
"'What furT said |.
"Jest TO take yo' down peg and let
yo' know that thar is two or three 9TH
er folks on airth. Yes, I'm either gwine
to make yo' holler or else live on roots
all the rest of my days
Il didn't want no quarrel with any
body" said Zeb, "but l soon diskvered
that the crtter from Arkansaw was
bound to hev fuss. He Dragged and
crowed and had so much to say that l
had no other way but to tackle him
We peeled off coats and jackets out
thar on that level spot. and | noticed
the old mule standin with his hind
quarters out of that shed doah.
"Tll tell yo' what I'm gwine to do
said the stranger as we made ready.
I'm goin to bite off yo'r right ear and
carry it back TO Arkansaw with me as
a sort of certificate. and l hope yo'll
write the date on it with pen and ink
before l leave
"Then he crowed and tapped his
arms and jumped up and knocked his
heels together. l hadn't got skeart OF
him, however. l reckoned it might be
a tough fout. but | was bound to win
it, What made it better fur me was
that me n the old woman had had a
jaw that day. and l was feelin onery
and mean and anxious to whop some
body. WAL, we finally got to work,
and / soon found that critter all I
could manage. He was peart in his
feelin's and a hard hitter, and as he
danced around he said:
"'Yo' might as well begin to boiler
right now. Zeb White. fur I've got yo'
licked. | reckoned heap of this talk
about yO' was all wind
jest about that time / fetched him a
swat that keeled him head over heels
and broke my thumb. He got up as
peart as 20 please. and. seem my
thumb was broke and my right hand
useless, he put on mo- steam. 1t did
seem to me that fur the fust time in
had a feelin Of goneness clear down to
my butes. Broken bones don't count
in fOut down in this kentry. yo know.
The man who comes out on top gifts the
credit. and the other Teller hasn't a
word to say. Yes. sab, jest dun reck-
on l was hevin a powerful clus shave
of il when Providence interfered. |
was bein banged all around when l
happened TO see my old mewl backin
up on US from the shed He'd heard
that row and wanted a hand in. 10th +
er feller's back was to'ard the mewl,
and played TO keep it thar. He never +
had no warnin Of what was comm. The /.
fust thing he knew the mewl backed +
up to within kickin distance and then
let 20 both feet. and old Arkansaw /
went rOllin most down 10 that bresh /
fence. His breath was gone when he +
stopped. and | was also sittin on his /
stomach. IN three or four minits be +
opened his eyes and looked around and +
said:
Are l back in Arkansaw ag'in|
Not skassly' said l.
Was I hevin a fout with a critter