Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1901-03-28

ARCH %, 1 9O1.
st. Louis Letter.
o Bonny Boni Castellane,
We think it is a burning shame,
The way you have been treated,
We wonder how you could have stood,
All these slams at your royal blood,
Now muchly overheated.
And, Boni, they do say
You raised a rumpus with Roday,
And boxed his ears severely,
And after giving them twist,
You slapped him twice upon the wrist,
That made the blood come nearly.
And, Boni, they also say
You called him canaille
And other words quite horrid,
And when at last your fond Pere
Succeeded in getting you away,
The atmosphere was wind.
Count Boni, please and be good,
AS all little Counts they should,
Don't be so dreadful cruel.
And when you visit our Worlds Fair,
You bet the 1. c. C.'s not there
We're not akin for duel.
(But Frank Parent will don the gloves
with your royal Courtship in six round
| sparring exhibition.)
Fred Killalee, one of the most popu-
lar Irishmen of st. Louis, and the only
one in the Club, was seen in the st.
| Patrick's day parade wearing a sprig
of shamrock, and broad smile. Mr..
Pat Fogarty, mounted on his gray
charger, acted as body guard to our
honorable Treasurer.
Mr.. W. A. Curtis and Miss Pearle
Stafford were seen at Havlin's Theatre
one night last week, witnessing the
melodrama entitled, 1.-The Flaming
Arrow All the actors in this pro-
duction are Indians. They are not Ed.
Buffers, however.
August Inner, who is an asplrant
for the Railway Mail Service, called at
| the Office of our President. and re-
ceived some valuable Information con-
cerning the competitive examination
for railway postal clerks, to he held at
the Custom House, the latter part oi
this month.
| Geo. W. Strobe, Esq, cashier OF the
bank of Columbus, KY, has forwarded
the following clever verses to the
Club, the former being dedicated to
our President. John says, ''Bark's is
| willin'."
| OLD BACHELORS.
To be an old maid there is some excuse,
In delaying the matrimonial moose.
A woman must necessarily wait,
For the advance of her masculine mate;
But a man il is well understood,
Can marry good woman if he would;
That is, if he's upright, and of good report,
And is able to give her reasonable support
Bachelors try to look happy, the attempt l:
| vain,
For they're generally the most unhappy o
men.
They often complain of their lonely life,
And find many substitutes in lieu of wife.
horse, dog, or cat, or some other per,
On which their shallow affections are set,
IOr on some other bachelor, miserable as he,
He tries to imagine his affinity.
They all have reasons for living alone,
But thew are so thin might as well have
none.
They say, "Was disappointed early in life,
Had made all arrangement to secure me
wife,
But the charming girl with whom 1 wa
smitten,
Loved another felIer, and gave me the init
| ten.'
Or, ''The girl selected to become my bride,
When the day drew near, sickened and died
81 was engaged to girl with dark Hash
ing eye,
But lost my fortune, and she said good
bye"
81 intended to marry but then you know,
A feler is sometimes mostly too slow,
THAT was my case, for she said to me,
I've made other arrangements, you are nov
set free"
Supposing these reasons were actually SO,
They often happen, we very well know,
But is this any reason that all of your life,
You should deny yourself dear, loving wife
And so they live on until feeble and gray,
Getting crosser and crankier every day,
Deserted by friends, detested by foes,
Nobody cares when he comes, or he goes.
OLD MAIDS.
Of all the people beneath the sun,
Who have lived and breathed since the worl
begun,
There are none of whom more fun has hee
made,
Than the genuine, typical, old, old maid.
| Whatever their actions, or aims to do gooc
They have almost constantly been misunder
stood.
Though partly to blame, | must confess,
: On account of their occasional snappishnes
| And their singing so often this sad refrain
! | "Its awful in this single life to rema1n,"
Yet with strange inconsistency lamentin
their life,
Declaring they never would be, any man
wife;
But there are many, who have lived and die'
Who never aspired to become bride,
/ But devoted their lives to father or brother
Or nursed or cared for an invalid mother,
While some ever true to the one who Is dea
q Have steadfastly refused all offers to wed'
q Some have given their lives to the poor an
distressed,
DENYING themselves that these may
blessed.
While some their thoughts to religion ha
given,
To point to poor sinners the pathway
1t heaven,
Who deserves more honor IN the Whole nj
man race,
So to be an old maids this dIsgraces
The Club extends to the sufferers
Bismarck, Mo-, their heartfelt symp
J thy. and is ready to make it substa
tial nature if a subscription is gott'
mn towards their relief. We do n
confine our charity to Iron coun
alone.
A new face greets US at the lmperi