davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1901-07-14

hardly know that l am justified in hand
ing the Jewel case over, as it's really con-
trary to his Iordships instructions. OF
course, 1 see the demand is genuine-but
-er-perhaps it would be as well to send
a clerk round.
His lordship Is out" said the secretary
with some uneasiness.
.'WeIl. l really can't accept this demand.
Lord Beausarris expressly instructed me
never to accept his signature when the +
was dotted as this is The mistake may
be his-or else he IS laying a trap for me-"
The manager laughed at his idea.
Give me the demand" said the secre-
tary, "Iu see his lordship about it. thouEn
l fear he'll be extremely annoyed"
Mr.. BoxhamE' called the manager.
Accompany this gentleman to Lord
Beausarris' and ask him about this de-
mand. Good morning, Mr.. Hayes; I'm
sorry this should have arisen-but---''
The secretary had gone. Followed by
Mr.. Boxham he left the bank and got into
a hanson
IN look in at St James" he said to
the clerk, "apd sqe If his lordship is
there" ~
lie stopped at the ,PiceadiIly entrance to
the restaurant and walked through to the
Regent Street exit. where he got into a
cab.
Mr.. Boxham waited In his hanson for
nearly half an hour, and then returned to
the bank
Albeit none of the gang were caught
there is reason to believe they have writ
ten down Lcrd Bedusarris a. quite hope
less. Tit Bits.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
A DIFFICULT SIGNATURE

1.-TWO saws will be supplied the baron
continued. lest you should break one.
We do not wish you to remain a prisoner
here until Lord Marshton's return. And
warn you not to put too great a strain
upon the saws. lest they both break. Go
slowly. my lord. You ought to get through
the job in about three hours
With a short laugh he swung around,
hurried out of the cellar and banged the
door to. Beausarris listened and heard
him lock the doO- and shoot five bolts.
Those bolts occupied his Iordship from u
noon next day until past 3 o'clock, when
Beausarris was able, though weak from
want of food and his unusual labor. to
leave the house and hurry to Scotland
Yard
About the same time that Beausarris be-
gan his task of saving through the locks
and bolts of Lord Marshton's cellar door
a clerk in a Piccadilly bank entered the
bank managers office.
Lord Beausarris' secretary has called
with this, sir said the clerk. He is wait
ing"
SHOW him IL" returned the manager.
tearing open the letter.
Good morning" he said. as the secreta-
ry entered. Lord Beausaris wants his
large jewel case. see"
Yes"
"But there's a slight error in the de-
mand," the manager continued, ''and l
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
4 Monster.
(From the IndianapoIis Press.

W l.. Higgins perpetrated practical joke on
Carrie Nation while the smasher here.
well-knOwn local dentist who dresses well and IS
rather adipose. was standing at the corner OF
Pennsylvania and Washington Streets. when Mrs
Nation got through haranglnng the crowd there
Look at chat man, said Mr.. Higgins pointing
TO his friend the doctor. Gle is we'll of and he
makes his money out OF the tears OF orphans the
walls Of widows. and the groans OF strong men
''He keeps a rum shop. does bar said the
smasher darting piercing glance IN his direc-
ton.
NO." said Mr. Higgins; che IS dentist y
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
NInn,s Ingrnfitnde.

(From the New York Yeekly)
T'ramp-Tm not idler, mum; lm unfortunate.
Housekeeper-IiGh! Did you yer work for a
living?
Tramp-Yes mum. used 70 be a salesman for
Dr. Wigg's Gold Medal Hair Restorer, mum; an
worked so hard and faithfully fer him, mum,
that ne discharged
observation-disclosures. Why should he2
Tramp-YOu see mum. the worry an oveTwOrk
tryin' to do a big business fer him made me pre-
mature bald mum.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
II Wus Coming.
(From the DeRver Times)

ttron the Denver llihes-3
1t happened that he had never been on board a
boat. but he had an aching longing 70 ride tha
bounding biIlows. He sailed board a whaler
and was leaning over the stern rail, making
minute examination of the Atlantic coast, when
the captain shouted:
''Beave up that anchorl
The IandIubber just then something inter-
esting IN the depth
Hey thsre!'' are YOU going to heave up that
anchor?' angriiy demanded the captain.
Il think I am sir" replied the new one.
eIutohing his vest convusiyeiyi Il think its
comm u3 now. sir
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
a CHASTITY Joke.
fFrom the 80 JournaI.

From the Detroit JOurnaL)
Perceiving now that the block was inevitable.
the noble prisoner berhaught him Of suicide
shall shuttle of this mortal eoIs>' mused he
But the executiouer, being man oN,same VIE
withal. OWNED his thought.
You shuttle after / cut" quoth this func-
tiousTy briefly.
The duke was silent at this II was not Ills
Grscs's won't TO handy words with one from the
conmonalty.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Qualified.
From the Brtrpit Jounrall

From the Detroit JOunral-)
Tomorrow rnused she gazing with her deep
blue eyes into the glowing grate. where, as the
Goals erunbled at the touch Of the fame, divers
and siIndrv fantastic forms seemed 70 gather,
only to disperse again, tomorrow. I shall be
seventeen Moreover I have been reared IN the
strictest Of New England homes Why should
not. then write a novel dealing frankly with the
sex problem2'
OF course there was no reason why not. except
that she was an extremely iudolent girl; and
this Ua told her.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
a Sinecure.

(Fron the Cleveland Plain Dealer.)
''wen. my boy, and what are you going to do
nOw2''
Well dad | dom know. What l want is one
Of these fancy Jobs where you do the least possible
work for the very largest possible fee
Guess you are cut out for a corporation lawyer,
my boy"
NO, dad, was thinking of being medical
specialist
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
All Reads.
From the Phladelphia Record)

From the PhiIldelphia Record.)
The magazine editor wiped the perspiration
from his heated brow. ''Have you gone carefully
over the article on Christmas in Many Lands 2 "
he asked
Il have" feebly replied the assistant as he
tied piece of ice TO the nape of his neck
And the sIeighing song; have the proofs been
revised9''
YES, sir
And the article about 'Yuletide supersti-
tionsg
YES, sir"
Then" said the magazine editor ''send word
TO the foreman that the Christmas number i5
ready to go to press. and tel the ice MAJ 70
leave 4 double supply tomorrow"
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Next Re.t Thing.
CFrom the ohio state Journal }

TFTWm THG VUI0 sVlTG
Miss Millicent Darlington, who, when Mr..
Smithcrs proposed had told him that she 70
wed Mr. Coldcash was moved to pity Mr..
Smithers stood irresolute, with his hat in his
hand.
Il hope you win come and see US some time,
She said for she didn't know what else to say.
But YOU will be married and will have born
to YOU a beautiful daughter answered Smithers
with much emotion; then I viii come and en-
gage as your coaohmaa and, II fortune Is with
me, elope with your daughter.
Then Smithers walked slowly out the yard and
toward a monastery.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
His Egg Business.

(From the Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.)
Il am going into the egg business, said one
city TO another.
''But chickens are difficult TO manage IN any
considerable number, l am told
Il intend TO dispense with chickens entirely.
| shall simply raise egg plants.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Age, if Living.
(From Tit-Bits.l

The census taking reminds one Of a story which
occurred ten years ago. On the printed forms
were the words: Age of father (if living), age
Of mother Of living) One OF the papers was
returned with the startling information that the
father was l2G years old and the mother H. The
authorities FASTENED to this ancient pair. and
were much surprised to hear that they died long
ago.
Then what do you mean by thisY' said an
angry official pointing 10 the ages.
.Why, that's right enough Ii says Age II
living and that would have been their ages II
living now"
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
She Went Dead.

FIUIIi IIIV llII7''-lIE-Ce --IItIIItl-I
The other day a clerk in one OF the local insEr-
ance offices went out on Ninth Avenue, in the
Polish ajstrict, 10 deliver insurance policy.
on arriving at his destination he disappointed
in receiving no response TO his frequent knocking
- the front and back doors Yet the windows
VIZ wide open, and he thought somebody must
b. ct home. Seeing little boy standing in the
front yard next door he accosted him with:
SAY, boy, 90 you know II the lady is at homo
here2'
"Ach. dey amt got no woman dere; she vent
deed on EN-" was the response.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Up to Date.
(From the 90 Pogt.l }

(FrOm the Cnlc2sO foSt-t
''Fair and warmer. D. w. wrote the up-to-
date weather man.
whats thatg' asked the caller.
My weather prediction" answered the weather
man.
"But the initials persisted the caller do
they stand for words2'
'Oh no." explained the weather man: they
stand for Dec volente a wise conditional CLAUSE
for anyone speaking of the weather
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Slightly Mixed.

From the Boston JousnaL)
One of the most laushable eases Of mishearing
by reporter, of peryerSlty O: types. occurred
in a local paper in the town where ] live this
week IN its report Of Flower SUEsiay.'
Referring to the fact that the children had
hoped TO present to the church tor its new meet
ing house a picture of st. Michael overcoming
sin. the report read picture OF st Michael
o Come and Sin
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
He QuuIifed.
CFrom the Denver Timesl

tFTuHl NE UeIlVef IIIlIes-I
young man." said the stern parent. "do you
think you will be able TO support my daughter in
the stye to which she has been accustomed2''
Now. this young man might have taken ad
vantage OF glorious opportunity to ring
chestnut bell but he didn't Instead he thought
for a moment, and then replied:
''Well-er-I think So with exception"
''Ahai And what may the exception be. sr7
II don't think l could be5so internally stingy
with the gas
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
IseleSs.
lrro.. thn rbi1ndo1,hin -p-ns.N

(From the Philadelphia Press.)
McJigger-He docs ask some of the most use
less questions He saw roast chicken the bill
Of fare today. and he asked the waiter il he
thought it good.
ThingImbob-WeIl how was that a useless
question?
McJigger-The waiter was eoIored man.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
The Assistant.

(From the Baltimore Anerican)
THAT long-haired man who has been addressing
the crowds on the streets says he IS the reinear-
nation of the prophet Balaam, announced the
star boarder
Probably he is only the reincarnation OF the
assistant that talked to Balaam," suggested the
frivolous young man at the end of the table.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
A NnturnI Death.
lFrom the Moonshine. }

tFrOm the MOOnshlntJ
District visitor-But, Mrs Brown, haven't you
had a doctor?
Mrs Rrown-No. ma am; my ushand e don't
old with no doctors. Z says, says e, as I'd
better die a natural death
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
They Had a Lively Time.
cFrom the New York Times.l

(rrom tnc Nch lOEA A4iieof
james StiIlman the millionaire banker. has ths
reputation Of being a very slose-mouthed man.
Mr. StilIman is the 81 4 yacht. and Ons
day he asked Frederick ID. Tappen. Of the Cal
latin National Bank TO go oat with him n
cruise. When Mr.. Tappen returned. friend
asked him how he had enjoyed himself "0h.'
said Mr. Tappen we had a very lively time.
We we're cut i've days and Stiihnan spoke to me
twice"
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
An Example.
From Tit,Bitsl

GLOW do you manage to get rid Of boresP'
asked SnOdGrass. he came in and took seat
by the editors desk.
ooh. easily enough replied the editor. 81
begin TO tell them stories about my smart young
ster. Now. only the other day ne said Whatl
Must you go? Well, good morning."
The Washington times., 1901-07-14

fFrom the Ohio State Journal.)
''What is your yocations'' asked the cannibal
king sternly.
''I-er-I am a weather bureau man, your ma
jessy," ventured the weather man tinidly-
Turn him loose" commanded the cannibal
king; 'he has been roasted enough"
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
sent 1t Out.

(From the Chicago News)
The maid was shampooing little Dorcthy's hair.
Dorothy, where does your mamma get her hair
shampooed?'
Generally at bame."
'.And what does she do when she doesn't have
it shampooed home2'
'oh, She sends it to the cleaners"
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
In HIGHER CInss.

(From the Philadelphia Record)
"My wife's a prize" the bridegroom said;
Il tell you what, she's nice
"Eh? Worth her weigh III gold2 Why man,
She's worth her weigh in ice!'
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
A Poser.
1Frnm the phfIadelnbia PressN

(From the Philadelphia Press-)
Popper-Tawkiotz may be j great linguist, but
I'll bet he doesn't know what 'Uss hotter means.
Hopper-Well, what does it mean?
POpper-Ice water.
Hopper-In what linguage2
Popper-Our babys
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
A Bad Name.


(From the Pittsburg Chroncle-IeIegraph.)
The name OF the city where the Christian En-
de4v0r convention IS meeting marks il
promising field for missionary work." said the
Snake Editor to the Horse Editor
''Does itY'
YES; Sin-sin-naughty."
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
In Order.
Tin es.)

(From the Philadelphia Tin es.)
Prof Goldwin Smith speaks OF a lime when Of
all living things only man and the mosquito will
be left. And ten TO one the mos Fito viii be
after the man.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Snfer ON His Rnck.

(From the Chicago Record-Herald)
Pincting-bug-Say what makes you wear your
fur overcoat in such hot weather?
Clterpillar-Oh, half the moth balls we get now
are no good.
The Washington times., 1901-07-14
Current HunnOr
R~centIy.

r q n q
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
Dinner Sets.

Two decorations in English Semi-P Porcelain Dinner Sets-dark green and light gray sprays-at 6.75
 100-piece Dinner Sets-with tureen and soup plates-one dark blue, one light green-at e.48
 100 pieces-dainty. pink spray extra large pieces-formerly sold for S15.00-at Nt 10.98
 Three shapes and three patterns in Carlsbad China-56-piece tea sets-regular price $7.50-at 5.30
 Two only-1U pieces Austrian China green spray Dinner Sets sell regularly at $20-at 17.8o
 Two only-10-piece China Din ner Sets-pink phlax decoration formerly S2200-now 1e.80
 One only-Haviland French China Dinner Set-formerly 113 pieces-apple blossom and feather flower decorations-this set sold for S32.50-but on account of dinner plates and z soup plates broken, at 27.75
 French China 101-piece Dinner Set-matt gold border-minature pink roses-regular price $47.50- at. 39.f5
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
Piggot Was Over Confident and Janice Crossed the Wire
 Too Late
CYCLONE PASSED NEWPORT
Spectators Given a Scare, But No Damage Done-Nobleman Burned Up Money at St. Louls-Whitney
 cheered On London Victory.

New York, June 5.-The Gaselee stakes for s-year-old Allies was won at Crave send today by Trigger largely through over-confidence of Piggott, Janice's jockey. The news of W. c. Whitney's victory in the English derby with Volo- dyvski was cheered to the echo.
 First Race-Six furlongs. Demurrer, 1is (Garrigan), to l, won; All Gold, 112 (Odom). 8 to l and to 1, second; Dublin 1l4 Q.andry). 6 to 1, third. Time. 1:1Oh.
 Second Race-Mile and a furlong. sell ing. None A 100 q. Slaclk). ' to g. won; Doble Dummy, 1O6 (Booker). to 1 and 2 to 1. second; Arden. 94 Co'Brien), ? to l. third. Time. 1:54 4-5.
 Third Race-Five furlongs Evelyn Maud, 112 (Slaclx), to B. won; Rossignel, 112 tBurns), to l and to 5, second; Des- titute. 112 (MitchelD, 20 to l. third Time, i:02 3-5.
 Fourth Race-Gaselee stakes, mile and one-sixteenth. Trigger. 1o6 (odom). s to 1. won; Janice. IA (Piggott), oven and 2 to 5. second Morning Side, .106 (Burns), 4 to l. third. Time, 1:4S 1-5.
 Fifth Race-Five furlongs, selling. Oclawah, 99 (Smith), F to l. won; Right Away, 106 (Burns), ? to 1. and l to ., sec .pnd; Honolulu, 109 Qandry) to 5, third. Time, 1:01 4-5.
 Sixth Race-Mile and seventy yards Alfonso. 106 (Bullman), to 5, won; Dr. Preston. 1o4 (Cochran). 8 to 1, second ssaac Hopper, lo6 tMounce), 12 to l. third Time, 1:46 4-5.
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
Summer Homes in the Mountains.

Undoubtedly the most invigorating and healthful region in which to spend the heated term, is among the resorts along the line of the Chesapeake and Ohio Rail- way, in the mountains of Virginia and West Virginia. These resorts vary in altitude from 1900 to 25OO feet and are celebrated for their grand and picture sque mountain surroundings, variety of mineral waters. exhilarating climate, mildly warm days and cool refreshing nights, producing that feeling of energy and buoyancy which insures health and promotes enjoyment. There are over 300 summer. homes among the mountains and on the sea shore. reached by the C. & O. Railroad. The rates vary to suit those of moderate means who prefer homeliSe surroundings and to gratify those seeking gaiety and social life For booklet descriptive of these resorts and giving names and addresses of managers, apply to ticket offices of lines connecting at Louisville and Cincinnati, or address A. L. Elliott. T. P. A.. c. & O. R. R., Cincinnati, O, 5-12-22t-sun-tue-thur
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
Mob,le Ala. Dec. 24, 1899.
CADETS DISMISSED.
They Were Detected and Convicted of
 Drinking at Bar.

West Point, N. Y, June 5.-Cadets S. B. Verion and c. &. Perry of Iowa were dis missed from the United States Military Academy today. They were eourtmar- tialed on a charge of having falsely ob- tained permission to leave the post. The permission having been granted them they were detected drinking at bar in Newburgh. They were dismissed without travel pay and started home immediately
 Fifty-six of the ffty-nine young men who were apointed cadets to the academy since March last reported for their en- trance examination today. Private Calvin P Titus, made famous by scaling the wall at Pekin,, has until July 25 to present himself for examination.
 Among the newly appointed cadets are the following: o. s. Albright, Tennessee; L. S. Arnold, Arkansas; Hugh H. Broad hurst, R. I. Howard, T. ". Jones, jr., St. Clair Newburn. w. E. Pridgen and L. P. Shoemaker. North Carolina; D. H. Crenshaw, Kentucky; J. S. Dusenbury and E. S. Oliver, South Carolina: c. G. Ducy and w. w. Price, Texas.
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
PROPOSITION TO
 EXCHANGE LANDS
I Aldrich Offers $500 Differ
 ence Between Certain Tracts. Conferrlng of Degrees

Tuscaloosa June 5. - (special.) = The trustees held their last meeting this morning and were in session less than an hour, after which they adjourned to meet again onsJune 25, at which time a presl- dent Is to be elected to succeed Dr. Powers. The board was presided over Ly Colonel M. L. Stansel in the absence of Governor Stanford.
 ! A proposition from MT. T. H. Aldrich was read offering to exchange s2O acres of land for like amount in Jefferson county belonging to the University and giving $500 in addition. This was en- dorsed by Dr. E. A. Smith, but 1t was laid over til June 25.
 The matter of aiding the boys in their deficit of $100 on the Corolla was brought up but was voted down, the board having previously censured the publication. A motion was made to elect the present faculty for the next year, but 1t was the sense of the board that the faculty holds at the pleasure of the board. How ever, the present faculty is to all intents and purposes elected for next year. as no removals were made. Dr. John Little, the newly elected member of the advisory board, was presented to the board.
 At the comforting of degrees this morn- ing the degree of LID. was conferred on Dr. John A. Wyeth of New York, the degree of engineering on William Alexan- der Crossiand, now in Cuba, and master of science on Miss Bessie Parker.
 The law prize, set of Hon. James J. Mayfield's Digeste of the Decisions of the Alabama Supreme Court. was won by Alexander Humphreys Clark of Mont gomery. Judge Mayfeld will present the digest to MT. Clark as soon as it is pub lished.
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
BREWERs' ASSOCIATION.
Annual Convention In Session at Buf-
 faIo-Denounce War Tax.

Buffalo. N. Y, June 1.-The forty-f1rst annual convention of the United States Brewers Association was called to order today by President Brandt who said he endorsed the whole report of the board of trustees and particularly that part which relates to the cancellation of revenue stamps by pcrforation. The report of the trustees also econtained a renunciation of the,wa tax on beer. demand for closer organization that shall make the power of the brewers felt at the polls, to the end that an effective fight may be made against such legislation. A denunciation of the abolishment of the army canteen was also part of the report
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
TRIAL BEGINS.
Mrs. Kennedy Is Charged With the
 Murder of Her Husband.

Kansas City, Mo, June 5.--A jury was appointed this afternoon in the case of Lulu Prince-Kennedy charged with mur- der of her husband; Philip H. Kennedy, and Prosecutor Hadley made his opening statement. He said the state would show that the prisoners motive for killing Kennedy was to avoid the publicity incl dent to the. trial of the dead mans suit to annul the marriage into which he al- legged her father and brother had forced him. It would also be shown, he said. that another motive was to cover the conspir- acy to which the defendant and her rel atives were parties. The state would ask for a conviction of murder in the first degree. but if the evidence showed that Kennedy had made a show of resistance a lesser degree would be asked.
The age-herald., 1901-06-06

and costs. s2.50; printers fee, 60 cents. 3622-Owner Unknown-Lots l, 2 and 3, Phelan's. block IA: taxes and costs, $5.00; printers fee, 90 cents. 3630-Owner Unknown--Begin at southeast corner of noth half of northeast quarter of southeast quarter, run west 150 feet, north 50 feet, east 15o feet. south 50 feet section 26, town ship F, range 8; taxes and costs, $4.00; printers fee ,$2.10. 36S3-Owner Unknown-Lot 60x170 feet on Long street and Fountain avenue, in the southeast quarter of the south west quarter of section 26 township IT, range 8; taxes and costs, $3. .00: printers fee, s1.S0. 3634-Owner Unknown-Begin 200 feet south of the northwest corner of the northeast quarter of the southwest quarter, running south 50 feet, east 120 feet, north 50 feet, west 120 feet, to beginning, section 26. township F, range 3; taxes and costs, $. %; print CTS fee, $40.
 3636-Owner Unknown-Lot 2, Hamilton: taxes and costs, $4.5o; printers fee, 90 cents
 3639-Owner Unknown-Lot 2, R. A. Jones' taxes and costs, H.Oo; printers fee. 90 cents.
 GEO. BUsTIs,
 Tax Collector. may 9-16-23-3o& june G.
The age-herald., 1901-06-06
At London.

London. June 5.-After a couple of mi nor events. the second of which Maher won, the way was cleared for the Blue Ribbon race and the paddock was soon filled with gay groups scanning their re- spective favorites. Volodyovski was the center of attraction and a host of ad- mirers surrounded MT. Whitney's colt
 In the draw for the place it was found that the favorite had the middle of the field. There was a lengthy delay at the post caused principally by the fractious- ness of Orchid. Eventually a fair start was effected Foxhall Keene's Olympian was first away from Claquer, Osboch and Lord Bobs On settling down Olympian retained the lead. After the mile Orchid closed up. Volodyovsk remaining behind. At the hill Olympia was closely pressed by Lord Bobs and Revenue. Then Will Ham the Third and Volodyovski rapidly secured their positions. Around Tatten- ham corner several horses dropped out A quarter of a mile from home Volodyov- ski took up the running and William the Third went to second place. The favor fte seemed to be winning easily when William the Third came on with a tre- mendous rush but Refff pulled the favor ite together and landed him winner. Dfsdafnful Genkins), won the the Ran moor plate, Castillian came in second and Dixie (Maher), third.