Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1901-03-06
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your set? Mrs. Proudfut-No, indeed.
They go to gymnasium, while we at
tend physical culture class.-Judge.
Husband (angrlly)-Dont forget,
madam, that you are my wife. Wife
oh, never fear. There are some
things one can't forget-Detroit Free
Press.
Towne-That was a rather disreputa-
ble-looking man you Just spoke TO.
Brown-Slr! that was my brother"
Towne-Oh, beg pardon; l might have
known that.-Tit-Blts
The Indignant Citizen-Don't drag
my name into print In connection with
this absurd affair." but If you do be sure
to spell out my middle name In full
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
In the awful presence: "Hush! Not
so loud. We're having conference Of
the Powers" "Eh; who Is confer
ring?" MY wife, my mother-in-law.
and the cookw-Tit-Bits.
"What kind of man is this John
smith, "Oh, he's the kind that thinks
he can hold on to his umbrella by hav-
Ing his name engraved on the handle."
New York Evening World.
Caller-Is Mrs. Kafiippe at home?
Ellen Dust over)--No, mum. Caller-Do
you know where she has gone? Ellen
Yis, mum. Upstairs, be the back
wny.-Chlcago Times Herald.
Casey-Slnce the Hoolihans got rich,
sh'pose they're t'rowln' on all kinds
av shtole. Murphy--I sh'd say SO!
They've changed tn goats name t
Nannette, b'gob!-Baltimore American.
Judge-This lady says you threw
both arms around her waist while try
was simply maxim love to de lady,
your honor. am foreign nobleman!
Puck.
Blanche-Oh, girls! put a piece of
Mays wedding cake under my pillow
last night and" The girls (breath-
lessly)-What happened? Blanche-I
ate 1t all before went TO sleep!-Brook-
lyn Life.
heulCal OOuSultutlOu. IlOW 10 yOu
find me, doctor?" Every bad. You are
worn out and 1t Is necessary that you
give up all head work" 'That would
ruin me, doctor. Don't you know I'm
barberY-Ex.
Invaluable Assistant = Did that
wealthy bridal couple have many
trunks? '"Trunks? They keep a H.
brarian who doesn't do anything but
take care of the trunk catalogues"
indianapolis Journal.
High Stategy: Captain-What Is
strategy In war? Give me an instance
Of It, Irish Sergeant-Well, strategy
Is when ye don't let the enemy dis
cover ye are out of ammunition, but
keep right on firm -Tit-Bits.
"Well, Borus," said Naggus, the en-
inent literarty critic, Il see you began
the new century right" "How's thatY'
asked Borus, the struggling author, 81
don't understand" "You didn't write
any poem about it."-Chicago Tribune.
81 wish to see bonnet" said Miss
Passee, aged forty. "For yourself,
missT inquired the French milliner.
eyes" Marie, run downstairs, and
get me hats for ladies' between eighteen
and twenty-five" Bonnet sold.-Tit-
Bits.
"What do you think my mother-in-
law says?" Goodness knows. What
is it?" "She says when l get rich she
wants me to put n moving sidewalk
on our block, SO she can sit on it and
sew, and get in all the ws."-Indlan-
apolis Journal.
HAS he any show at all in public
lifeT asked one politician. "Only one.
There is the remote possibility that his
enemies will abuse him so continuously
that lot of people will get sorry for
him and vote for him out of sympathy"
Washington Star.
Miss Streeter-I should think it
would be horrid standing behind the
counter all day. Miss Kashkaller-Not
nearly so bad as standing in front of 1t
for only a little while. There are no
bargain crowds on my side, you know.
Boston Transcript.
Styles-I do hate to see woman
hanging on to strap in a street-car.
Barton-And so you always give a wo-
man seat when you have one to give.
Styles-No, | never go quite so far as
that. I give my whole attention to my
newspaper, you see. In that way my
sight is not offended by the poor, weary
woman.-Boston Transcript.
First Clothing Salesman-I do hate to
have man bring in his wife when he
wants new suit. 1t is a case of salts
flying two, and the woman is the hard
er of the two. Second ditto-Thats
because you don't know your business.
never try to convince the lady. just
compliment her upon the beauty and
fine set of her own garments. Then
can shove any old thing onto her hus-
band and she will smile sweetly all the
whlle.-Boston Transcript.