The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1901-10-30
4 DOMESTIC COMEDY.
THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRANa-
ING THE FURNITURE.

THE VARIED RESULTS OF REARRAN9-
ING THE FURNITURE.
Mrs. Blanks Mania For Changing
the Appearance of the Rooms
brought Trouble to the Male Com
tinGent and sorrow 60 Herself.
DO you change the position OF the
furniture when you clean room2"
inquired housewife No, of II friend in
the course Of a heart to heart talk.
do l? Why, yes, indeed l don't
feel as II the room Is cleaned unless l
change the furniture II little bit DO
you?
"Well. l usually change the orna-
ments around and SO forth, but In the
spring and fall l like TO change every
thing In room-completely alter the
whole appearance of It, Then l fancy
the things are all new, and they seem
TO look prettler somehow. But, do you
know, my husband doesn't like It at
all.
Neither does minel Isn't that slngu.
lar? Men are so PECULIAR
Yes, indeed they arc!'
So many housekcepers share the
views OF these two that n story with
n moral Will not be out OF place
1t was the other night only that Mr..
Blank went unsusplciously up stairs to
bed ut an unusually early hour, leaving
his wife reading In the sitting room.
He had headache and carried n COB
let OF water In his right hand. Fear
lessly advancing into the dark bed.
room Mr.. Blank suddenly felt both legs
violently cut from under him. He
clutched wildly mt the air and said
several things of an explanatory ma
ture, but there was nothing 10 save
him. lie went down.
Good gracious, Henry calculated
Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the scene of
disaster. What is the matter2
Where are your Why don't you light
the gasT Sultlng the action to the
word. she bcheld her husband sprawl
ing across the bed; the glass he had
carried had discharged It's contents
across the pillowshnms and shiyered on
the floor
Mr. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. lie said that OF nil
the blankcty BLINK folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said 1t was n pretty thing for man to
walk into his own room and have TO
fall over things In the dark. lie said
he wouldn't stand It; the furniture
must be replaced where II formerly
stood.
81 shan't do anything OF the kind.
replied Mrs. Blank. at looks very
much nicer where It is. Why don't
you feel where you are going when you
get Into dirk room2'
"S'pose you'd Ike me to crawl in ON
all foursr' snarled Mr.. Blank IL
couldn't feel where the bed was unless
| happened to touch the footboard. /
thought could walk clear over to the
bureau. | tell you It's COMPOUNDED
crank you have on this subject Some
day you'll preclptate serious accl-
dent"
"lf any one precipitntes, It'll be you,
| should think" retorted Mrs. Blank
Jelly. And the furniture remained
where II was.
1t wns the next evening that Master
Blank undertook TO carry pile of
sehoolbooks from tho dining room to
the sitting room. He had a bottle Of
Ink In his hand, and he thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of his percgrIna-
lions in search of II, however. he came
into violent collision with the glass
door of the bookcase, which he broke.
There were also Inky traces dsecrniblc
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
In. This time there was some balm for
her feelings She could spank Master
Blank and did 1t with the best Will IN
the world
Her own downfall was not long In
coming, however, although for II few
days only minor Inconvenience were
met with, such MS the abrasion of nm
kles against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with Unforeseen obstacles. Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage Of her pet parrot from the
window where It spends the day to the
snug corner where 1t passes the night
She did not trouble TO light the gas, and
by some unaccountablo mental lapse
she had forgotten the precise point at
which tabouret on which stood II jar
dnlere, was stationed. She charged
into the tabouret with considerable
forcn VIVA nVnrbo lonond Inv thn watch I
of the cage In her arms and took II
header with rcsoundng crash. The
parrot shrleked, and, unable to distin-
gulsh friend from foe, inflicted a severe
bite ON her mistress finger. Mr.. Blank
came in hurrledly, picked up his wife
and assisted IN making an inventory Of
sundry COMMISSIONS Then they lifted
the parrot cage, badly bent and the
JardlnIere with II piece Clipped out Of
1t and the tabouret somewhat scratch
ed, and then Mr.. Blank observed quiet
ly:
81 have just one thing TO osk you,
Mrs. Blank. Was / rIghtY
mo, you were not" retorted Mrs.
Blank savagoly. Serious accldent2
What's serious about this, should like
TO known For goodness sake, Henry,
don't stand there trying to look like II
martyrl If you must have the furni-
ture moved back, I'll move It" And
she did.-Pb ladelphla Record.
The rootbpick Hnbii.
I'D HE 10 know What III" custom