Evening star., 1901-07-13
PERFECT MARRIAGES
Are Only Possible When Principals
Are Equals.
WHY some UNIONS ARE FAILURES
The Wonder, Indeed, is Why So
Many Are Successful.
A WISE WOMAN'S OPINIONS
A WISE WOMAN'S OPINIONS
Copyright. 1901, by S. s. Mcclure Coz

subject position of the wife When We
speak of the subsection of woman We mean
always OF the married woman. 1t was not
TO free the unmarried from legal bondage
that the long. hard fight was made in this
country, for the laws did not discriminate
against the spinSter with especial injustice,
Whatever social custom might have done.
Practically all of the beneticent changes in
the statutes relating to women in the last
half century have been made to protect the
wife from the husband. Most of the in
equalities which still remain affect only
married women The one who remains
single has little to fear
There Is not a business partnership of
any Kind that could survive under condi-
tions which placed one member of the firm
under the absolute domination and control
or the other. BY what logic, then, can we
expect It in a partnership where the condi-
tlons are far more intimate. exactng and
delicate than are possible in any other?
but, 1t may be urged, there is a vast
dl1eIence between marriage and other con-
tracts. In this the woman yields her free
dom ard individuality to one who Is a
sworn protector, whose interests are iden-
tlcal with her own, and who Is deeply con-
cerned in seeing that she receives exact
Justice. II this be the case, why is it
that men themselves, for the last fifty
years, nave been repeating the old laws re-
new enactments which would enable her
to protect herself against her protector?
but, notwithstanding all that has been
done, the majority of wives are still In
subsection to the husbands while they con-
tlnue to live with them in the holy bonds
or matrlmony, and SO long as this Is the
case We never can have, as a rule, the
happieSt and most exalted form of mar
riage.
The wives of today have innumerable ad
Fantages over those of past generations.
but the most important of ali is still denied,
namely, an equal right to the joint earnings
or the marriage partnership. The law has
yielded so far. in most of the states, to
permit wife to retain possession of the
property she brought into the firm, and That
which becomes hers by will or gift. If she
go outside of the home to work, her wages
are her own, but if she contine her laD1rs
to the demands of her household she Is le
ga11y entitled only to board. shelter and
clothes, and the husband decides as to the
quality of these. Wha tever she gets in ad-
dition Is not by legal right. but simply
through the influence she can bring to bear
upon him. II she die first she cannot dis
pose by will of a dollars worth of all they
have accumulated together. but at his death
he can deprive her of at least Two thirds
and In many states more, of their Joint
earnings. The law, however. secures to her
Internationally certain amount, presup-
posing that If this were not done the h,s-
band would be likely to deprive her OF all.
PrOft-Sharinx Plan.
The man who is penniless has the world
before him with all Of its opportunities for
making living. Modern innovations in u
large degree have placed the unmarried wu-
man in the same position. but che wife has
no such freedom. By statute she owes her
services to her husband and her own sense
of duty compels her to devote them to her
houSehOid; therefore she Is excluded from
the wage-earnfng occupations, and, although
performing her regular days labor is not
entitled to handle a dollar of her earnings.
l place above all other causes for unilappi-
ness in marriage the absolute financial de-
pendence of the WIFE and l firmly believe
that three-fourths of the friction would be
removed if fair share of The family in
come were placed at her unrestricted dis
poSal, just as now the husband controls all
or IT. There Is not space here 10 90 into AN
argument on this proposition. Nothing takes
the Independence. the seif-respect and the
contentment out of d mans lif. So com
pletely as pauperism, and, stripped Of all
subterfuge. this is the condition of the vast
majority Of wives They smart under tn.
injustice; they rebel at the caiolarv. deceit
and sometimes intimidation which they
must practice to get what ought to be
theirs by right; while they are often irr,.
tated beyond endurance to see the husband
using money in ways which they wholly
dlSappfoVe. II / We're a husband | never
would admit that my marriage was a fall-
ure until | had tried the profit -snl1ins nlan
with my wife.
The wonder is not that So MANY ,,,r
riages are failure. but that so MANY are
a success Members of the same family
parents and children. brothers and sisters
who have had years to study one anothar's
idioSyncraSies and are bound topetb.r h,,
the strong tie Of blood-relationship often
find It extremely difficult to dwell in hor
mony under the same roof How much
more difficult then must it be for those
who know but little of each others inherit
n
too often. on a brief and imperfect ac
qua1ntance; who are suddenly thrown into
the most intimate relationship without ti,a
power of getting away from it: and who
occupy position not of interdependence
but Of authority one side and often mn
willing dependence on the other-how IN
finitely more difficult must 1t be for them TO
bring their lives into harmonious adjust
ment, The marvel lies In the fact that ca
many succeed in doing this. for the i'm
mense majority of marriages are fairly
satisfactory to the contracting parties. II
is only those that prove to be mista1.as
which challenge attention. The one whose
troubles are carried into the courts attracts
so much notice that the 800 which are heinp
passed in comparative peace and happiness
are entirely lost sight Of. and people crv
out why are so many marriages a fail
ure?'
Figures Not So Bad.
The census of 1890 showed about 1e1 noo
divorced persons in the United States ont
Of a population of over 62, 100000 small
fraction of per cent is hardly appreciabe
In so vast a number. and certainly does not
justify the slightest alarm or the conclu-
sion that marriage, as an institution. is dis
credited. Our recent census doubtless will,
somewhat Increase this percentage. but
even should this be the case there ia M
necessity for a panic. There was never In
the history Of the world such a perjod of
transition as the one through which we ara
now passing, and 1t Is natural that the in.
stitution of marriage should be included in
the general shaking up. This means sjrnniv
that it must be more carefully studied With
a view to placing 1t on a broader and f1rnner
basis
While modern conditions Of life allow
men and women innumerabe Opportunities
Of meeting, these are Of the most srnerS
fetal character and do not permit the lon.
and thorough acquaintance which aIu,avss
should precede marriage. The latter brings
many disiilusons even to those who he
lieved they had the most absolute knowi-
edge of one another, and they often ranan+
at leisure to as great degree as those Who
married In haste. Society in the so.ca,aS
middle and upper classes permits the nm
married to meet only under ARTIFICIAL oon-
ditions. at balls, receptions dinners. teas
deyOfe cd fO small talk. with the