The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1901-07-11
q Panama Fat Comedy

New York Times.
Jenkins and Hunt were friends. Like
Brutus, they were both honorable men:
but, unlike Caesars perfidious chum,
their one fall from the pedestal of faith
fulness and honor was not due to the
ambition to become greater in the eyes
Of their countrymen, for both were
modest men. But they were first of all
men, Each morning as they left their
hcmes in the little Jersey town on their
way to their offices in the city. they
trod on roads that were macadamized
paved, and asphalted with good inten-
tons. They rarely found the return trip
strewn with imaginary insurmountable
obstacles as a reminder of lapses from
promises made to fond wives sealed
With the regular matutinal OSCILLATION
which served as a stimulus to their
Well-meaning fidelity.
But the human will is weak and with
hundred degrees of heat concentrated
on its weakest intrenchment it has to
give way in spite of all the sentimental
1ty. that man at his best can muster in
defense. So Jenkins and Hunt fell.
1t was strange coincidence that both
Mrs. Jenkins and Mrs. Hunt should, on
the same morning, decide that their
hard-toiling spouses should require the
cooling shelter of a straw hat 1t was
stranger coincidence that they should
decide that the latest style of the pana-
ma hat best suited their respective hus-
bands style of Lneamental pulchritude.
Both Mrs. Jenkins and Mrs. Hunt were
economical wives, and both their hus-
bands agreed that it was an iphnitesimal
part of their weeks salary which could
be accounted to profit and loss. 1t was
still stranger happening that the two
women should, unknown to each other.
decide that So was plenty enough to
pay for hat when it wasn't Easter
time, and not for themselves. So from
the roll of greenbacks given them In
trust by their husbands the evening be-
lore they extracted one ply in the form
OF a five-dollar bill, and on this par
tlcular hot morning each said to ner
spouse:
My dear you must have a straw hat.
Here is five dollars Wear the hat home
tonight and I Will be III waiting to see
how We'll you look in il. But by all
means get a panama.
1t was Jenkins who told Hunt of MS
intention While they were occupying
adjacent seats on the upper deck of the
lerrypoat. They remarked the GOMEZ
oence of the requests of both wives.
and 1t was Hunts suggestion that tney
make their purchases together. This
was accepted by Jenkins and it was
agreed that they should leave their Of
ices couple of hours earlier toan usuaI
IN the afternoon and start on their shon-
ping tour. Then they forgot all about
the straw hats while they became en-
crossed In the news columns of thei1
morning newspapers, till Hunt suddenly
gave bound from his seat with an ex-
clamatlon of joy. He showed the news
paper in his friends face and bade hin,
read 1t was an advertisement with the
following announcement:
GREAT BARGAIN.
Have just received from a South Amer
lean Dealer a Large Invoice of the IIatest
Style Panama Straw Hats. VIII Re Piac.
ed on sale This Morning at 81 SO Each
way" of'o'
why, it's just like finding 49," sale
Hunt, and his faithful friend readily con.
Cured
With the balance Wen buy shirt
waist for our wives, suggested Jenkins.
6esln TO believe there is some money
saving In this women bargain hunting
continued Hunt. Wen give them a bis
surprise" And both men believed them
selves faithful unto themselves and thei1
thoughtful mates.
1t was at luncheon that the terrible
temptation came stealing into the mind,
OF both men, It was hot, dreadfuIIv hor
unpeafapIy not. The few pieces of silver
which lay in their pockets besides tn,
fiye-dollar bill seemed this day hardl,
enough to give them the refreshment anc
nourishment they required. Both mer
wanted to make the suggestion. but i
was Hunt who took the initiative
Say, Jenkins, he said, "as long as WI
nave been shrewd enough to save So OF
our bargain, why not treat ourselves t.
a little extra today? Let's have a lobster
and bottle of ale"
1t was Jenkins who called the water
Never mind the crackers and milk to
day. he said, as he astonished the wal
ter by ordering the repast that Hunt hat
suggested. A cigar each after the meal
and the individual assets remained at s
each They returned to their Offices Al
the afternoon there was an inward child
ing sensation which they variousIy
ascribed as either due to the unrest O.
the Holsters they both sheltered or to thu
pricking of their consciences for theil
selfshness For both Jenkins and Hun
were faithful husbands. When they me
later in the afternoon to start out Il
make their purchase both agreed that i
was the lobster.
Blamed animal didn't agree with mt
at ALL said Jenkins. His remark wa.
meant merely as paving the way for an
other suggestion from Hunt. 1t came i'm
mediately.
1--WE had a horrible heartburn since
ate it," he said. ST think we should boil
have little brandy and soda" Uncon
sciously they allowed their feet to guild,
them across the street
The swinging doors that separate tn,
cold, practical world from the empyrear