The Iola register., 1901-06-21

Nuii gOll udJtitJt
The devil is so scarce at Philipps-
burg that the sheriff spent most of last
week running down stray pet rabbit.
A Hiawatha hardware man adver-
tises binding twine, guaranteed to
hold anyone who wants to hang him
self"
All of the stock of binding twine
made by the penitentiary plant has
been sold and the mill will start again
June II.
The police of Abilene stopped and
searched al tramps one night there
last week. What field for collecting
rare coins.
Flag Day was observed even by the
tramps in Kansas. They all tagged
themselves out of the state till after
wheat harvest.
Sedgwick Paragraphs A girl usual
y announces her engagement to
young man by picking the lint off his
coat in public.
Charlie Harger has discovered that
not the yellow peril but the red white
and blue peril is worrying European
manufacturers.
Sedgwck Paragraph: A woman
who has never seen her husband fish
ing doesn't know what patient man
she has married.
Because a Kansas milliner sued her
husband for divorce the Kansas City
Star says it proves that seamstresses
are not what they seem.
Eta Semple of Ottawa offers 81 200
for proof there is a God. Isn't the
tname II typographical error and the
rue version Eta, simple"
r.. e. Spurgeon of Yates Center has
o copy of the Boston Post of March 6,
1863, and it shows that Beantown was
about as lively then as it is now.
Emporia Gazette: A young man, to
be smart with a girl this morning
said: 'goodmorning gloryn Tonight
he may be greeted by, goodnight shirt.
Mrs. Lease is going to Ireland to
claim share in an estate and a
southern paper charges that it is all
put up job by Kansans to get rid of
her.
The Shady brook correspondent of
the Herington Herald heads his
column "Shadybrook Smiles, - which
shows he hasn't lived in a prohibition
state always.
The Russell Record prints eight
pages and last week devoted five OF
them TO u local murder trial. That is
what the grammarians mean by "mur-
dering English"
The Washington Post, which is a
mighty good newspaper, says: When
IL.
itself it doesn't feel called upon to
keep up petty attack upon its con-
temporaries.
John Tuttle, travelling freik hit agent
for the Rock Island, committed sui
eide in Hutchinson Thursday from
fear of going blind. He had previously
visited an undertaker's shop and Sc
lected coffin.
The Catholic children of Salina
held picnic recently and resolved to
ask the president to have another star
added to the flag in honor ofthe Philip
pines and that the first flag be given
General Funston.
The Westphalia Times says that
Rev. Caldwell of that place has bought
a thorough bred trotting horse, named
typewriter" This may be danger
Gus but less threatening TO his souls
safety than a fast typewriter.
If you get fifteen subscribers for the
Freethought Ideal you get picture
of its editress. Eta Semple, free.
This should be snapped up 10y good
people for, Judging by Etta's talk, they
willnever run across her "overthere.
Peabody News: The prettiest girl in
| Peabody protects her beautiful face
with u sunbonnet, develops her form
by helping her mother do the house
work and hoeing the garden, and
whitens her hands by kneading the
bread.
"Don't Marry for Money" starts
out a common medicine local. And
after reading it most of the farm hands
going to the harvest fields will pur-
chase a supply of the pills which will
permit their marrying the wheat kings
daughter.
Jesse Adams of Abilene claims
cow which has to be milked thrice
daily and yields % quarts. She is a
cross between native and a Jersey.
Incidentally it seems likely that Jesse
is a cross between David Leahy and
descendant of Ananias.
Ewing Herberts advice to boys to
marry as soon as they get salary Of
So week is slow compared to the
New York pair who married on "a
quarter and that one plugged. The
wife is suing for divorce-just like
most of the SO wives would.
A Manchester lawyer noting how
uneasily his son sat on a chair,
inquired thecause. The boy reminded
him that million was "a numbering
big lot" when the boy asked him.
The boy made the same reply to his
school teacher. Hence the uneasiness
Ed Hoch accuses Marion woman
of causing small ooy to lie. He
offered her some fish Monday and she
inquired if he "caught them yester-
: day" He hestated but a moment
, and then declared: "No nam, got up
at o'clock this morning and caught
them"
AT Garnett a foreign man asked to
be made full citizen in court. Judge