The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1901-05-31

the sofa and he's got his head on one
of the pillows Brooklyn Eagle. II
Not for His Health: Hubbubs- Why
are you moving from your suburban
home?r Subbubs-I am all run down.
Hubbubs-Malaria? Subbubs-No; Cos
sipy neighbors. Philadelphia Record.
How to Dine Well: He was hungry
and in funds: Waiter, here's a dollar.
Now suggest a good dinner for me.
Waiter Tin serious whisper)-Go to
some other restaurant, sir.-Philadel-
phia Times. :,.~.~' $3.50 -: s,N .
mo. l won't give you piece Of my
APPLE snapped his sister: "And who
was it," the boy inquired, ,ereproach-
fully, that spoiled the piano so you
didn't have to practice for a week?'-
Philadelphia Times.
Willie OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Joe hit me with great big brick. Boo
hoo! Mamma-And what did you. do
to him, dear: Willie--I hit him gently
with that same little brick he threw ut
me.-Harper's Bazaar.
Bobbs-Old Tittewadd is about dead
from insomnia. Says he is afraid to
go to sleep. Dobbs-Does he fear burg
lars? Bobbs-No; but the last time lie
slept he dreamed of giving away his
money.-Baltimore American.
First Long Island Hen-Wha stu
dious young rooster Mr.. Plymouth
is, always burning the midnight oil.
Second Long Island Hen-Well it is !.
hereditary with him. You know his
mother was kerosene incubator.
Il didn't know Bragg was a pub
Usher" "A publisher?gs, Who told you
he was?" :, He did. He said be was
"a dissemination Of light literature
Huh! He's a bill clerk in the employ
Of: the gas company."-Phtludelp
Press. :
:: Little 4-year-old :: Harry had been
whipped by; his father for, telling
falsehood, and he ran to his mother for
consolation. "When l was your age I
never told a falsehood.'"'. said his moth
er. when did you begin. <mamma?"
what is the use OF mans getting
into a crowd and yelling. MS he does at
j basel ball game ~ Great heayens,s,,.aa 80,
to do it In crowd. II he were to go
away by himself and yell in that man.
ner they would have him in a lunatic
asylum in less than a week."-Wash-
ington Star.
After the Supreme Court Decsion:
Excited Man lat long-distance tele-
phone>-I want to talk to Fargo. N. D.!
to wait few minutes. Lines busy.
Twenty-seyen others husbands are try
ing to tell their wives to come home
Chicago Tribune.
Tess-He's awful handsome. don't
you think; Jess-Handsome is that
handsome does. He had the inlperti-
nence last night to tell me that lie was
going to kiss me the first chance lie
got. and - Tess-Weren't you indig-
nant. though? Tess-l should say. He
didn't keep his promise.--Philadelphia
Disadvantage of Strange Surround
ings: Mrs. Bingo-You are perfectly
welcome to another piece Of cake, Will
lie, but ] am afraid it will make sou
sick. Your mother told me particular
~ to give you but one piece. Willie
Simpson-That's all very we'll, but |
don't know where the pantry is here
Leslie's Weekly. w. + II, st~
Il would give you my seat. SIR" said
the fair young girl to the pale man who
was hanging to strap in the, street
car. ''but I'm very tired. l have sat
througha matinee performance Of RAN
tenn. the actor" Never mind, madam
said the pale man. taking a fresh grin
on the strap. Il am Rantem. the
actor" -Baltimore American.
Lacked ReciproGtty::.. II haven't much
use for Blithersley," said the proud pa
pa. "Why," asked the proud ma d, ma.
Il listened to- him for#an hour to-day
while lie told me about what his baby
had said, or tried to say. and just as 81
was about to tell him about ours he 4
left me, saying hebad to. catch
train. Baltimore American.
Early Rising: Pat said tie man .
ager to one Of his workmen. you
must be an early riser. always find e
you at work the first thing II the morn
Ing. .Indade. and Oi am. Sit. IT'S
family trait. Qi'm thinking. Then
your father 70 an early riser, toe?
ME father. ISL? He..rOises that early
that if he went to. bed 4 little later
he'd meet himself getting up IN the j
mornin' =. Tit Bias.
Not His Business to Inquire: Uncle .
said the dusty pilgrim, how far Is II
to Sagetown p = Bout 4 mile md : q
hal" replied the farmer Cant b
ride with you = ..Sartin; climb III,
At the end OF three quarterso f IN hour
the dusty pilgrim began ID le uneasy.
Uncle, he asked, bow, far are Ne S. q
from sagetown now g .ssl Bo,,f four
mile and 4 half I, Great arief! ,,hy &
didn't youzteII me g c1nx away
from Sagetown e tiidht Won
4